#tim stoker don't look at this

[sparrowsonata]

here is some jonny d'ville to revive my account and win all the tma followers ever (university era jon)

[enigmatic-enigmas]

POV: You're Elias Bouchard

[sarcasticscribbles]

(Audio by dentedmilk on tiktok)

Fully rendered versions

[rateatinginsulation]

Messy comic plus Tim doodle

[gayformlessblob]

in honor of the first tim stoker tuesday of mermay, i present to you a siren tim (right) and danny (left)

designs courtesy of my pirate au :]

ID in alt text

[fox-guardian]

hey guys did you know that um. did you know. first of all did you know i'm losing my mind, secondly, do y'all remember in tma how when someone reads a written statement, they don't really Stop unless they're interrupted? and they read the whole thing easy cheesy, no issues with reading whatever words are there? like. jon literally could read french for a whole statement and was Fine. granted, that's Jon, but like nobody else struggled with pronunciations and whatnot (that i can recall)

presumably, this is an eye thing. either as employees of the institute, or because everyone there is just also eye-aligned in some degree (melanie had the ghost hunting show, the eye is fond of martin, etc)

and then there's tim in season 3 ep 86

[Sigh] Statement of… uh, Benjamin Hatendi… Hateendi? Regarding a… [papers rustling] a blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t. Statement is from… 1983, March 2nd. And I guess… [long sigh] I guess I’m doing this one. Tim Stoker. Archival assistant… Archival prisoner at the Magnus Institute.

correct me if im wrong but i don't recall anyone struggling with pronunciations before this bit. but that's not even the biggest thing here, that's just a lil Taste, a lil Flavor.

note the phrasing there. "Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end." why would he say this when the written text on the statement says this:

Uh, right. Benjamin Hatendi’s account of… [rustling pages] oh for… a, a strange encounter. Er, statement date, March 2nd, 1983. Melanie King recording. Apparently.

"a strange encounter". that's it. nothing about an unavoidable death, just a "strange encounter". Tim Why Did You Say That.

why would our dear timothy bimothy, who is being pushed to the brink, who is becoming rapidly more depressed and losing hope, say this?

this isn't the only time he's said some weirdly grim shit tho (ep 104)

There was never really any hope for me, though, was there? This was how it was always going to go.

and then there's this bit from elias apparently having Looked into tim (also 104)

TIM All right, hit me with your X-ray eyes then, boss. What do you see? ELIAS Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged. TIM [Sarcastic] Ooh, terrifying! Surely only magic could have let you see so deep inside my very soul.

"nothing left" but the desire to feel revenged. and tim doesn't dispute this, because it's true.

when he first joined the institute he did so in order to look for answers about danny, but then he stopped seriously looking. and now that the circus is back, this is all the drive he has left. not looking for answers, just wanting revenge. closure. an end, if you will.

this is Literally It For Him. a couple lines later he suggests elias kill him, he's At The Breaking Point.

he is so tired, he's lost all hope, and he's saying all this grim shit about "unavoidable death" and "this is how it was always going to go" like hmmmm sounds familiar doesn't it. DOESN'T IT (<- is going insane)

(ep 11) [....] despite the rapid response of the paramedics and how much of his medical history I had immediately to hand, there was nothing I could do to save him. (ep 11) I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you. Based on my previous experience, such a thing is likely impossible anyway,[....] (ep 121) There. That was it. That was our fate; where we would always be.

hmmmm sounds a bit like oliver huh? everyone's favorite ex-accountant avatar of the end?? right??

but then there's this last bit i have from ep 86.

why did he stop reading the statement

Statement. “My parents never let me have a nightlight. I was always afraid, but they were ju–” Ugh, this is stupid.

why did he do that. again, correct me if im wrong but when else has someone just Stopped Reading like that without someone or something else interrupting them? why could tim just stop himself?

my theory is this: at this point, tim is completely gone from being aligned with the eye. he no longer seeks to know what happened to danny, he just wants closure. he doesn't wanna do any statement work, and he keeps mentioning these tidbits about hopelessness and the inevitability of terrible events, specifically death.

the eye isn't compelling him to read the statements like it does the others, because it doesn't have as strong a hold anymore. the grip is slipping from him. and by the time the unknowing rolls around, maybe it's lost him for good. maybe he finally fell into a different power he never meant to serve, and yet, he does.

and maybe. just maybe. because i'm so not in denial. but MAYBE. he did die in the unknowing. but maybe he got better.

basically end!tim truthers rise up, this is how end!tim kayaking with his bf oliver banks can still win, etc etc I'm Going Feral <3

[jonnywaistcoat]

Hi Jonny, if you don't mind I have a question about the TMA TTRPG! So I noticed that on the player's guide there's this guy, who my friends and I assumed is probably Jon. If it is him, is this a canon design, or more like some of the non-canon stuff that's in the merch?

So, I hope you don't mind if i use this ask to go a bit off on one. I'm not specifically dragging you (I'm actualy glad you asked, as I've thinking about posting on the topic), but all the discussion around the RPG art and how "official" or "canon" it might be is, to my mind, slightly silly.

First up, is it "official" art? I mean, yeah, its art for the officially licenced Magnus Archives RPG. This means Monte Cook Games have commissioned someone to do a beatiful illustration broadly based on some aspect, episode or character from the podcast and it goes in the book. But that's kinda all it means. "Official" is a legal distinction, not an artistic one. The fact that it's in an official product doesn't make it any less one artist's cool interpretation of a character that has only been vaguely described in audio.

Second, is it Jonathan Sims the Archivist? I mean, it's probably based on the idea of him, but it's certainly not set in stone. When we were first discussing art with MCG, we advised that character pictures be more vibes-based and not explicitly tied to specific people (ie. a portrait inspired by Tim wouldn't be captioned "This is Tim" and wouldn't be placed opposite a profile for Tim Stoker, archival assistant.) This was mainly because we wanted the artists to have plenty of freedom to interpret and not feel too tied down by the need to know everything about the podcast. But, to be frank, it was also because we know that there are a few fans out there that are kinda Not Chill about what they've personally decided these characters look like and can get a bit defensive over depictions that differ.

It strikes me as particularly strange to be having this discussion about art that's for a roleplying game book. Something that's explicitly and solely designed to give you the ability to play in your version of the Magnus universe. The idea that this is the thing where we'd for some reason try to immutably establish unchangable appearances for these characters would be pretty funny if some folks weren't taking it so seriously. Similarly ridiculous is the idea we could reasonably have said to MCG "We'd love for you to make a huge beautiful RPG book of our setting... Just make sure you don't depict any of the iconic characters or events from it!"

But... is it "canon"? Now, to my mind, this highlights a real weakness in a lot of fandom thinking around "canon", which is that it generally has no idea what to do with adaptations. All adaptation is interpretation, and relies on taking a work and letting new creatives (and sometimes the same ones) have a different take on it. Are the appearances of the Fellowship of the Ring in the LOTR movies "canon"? How much, if at all, does that matter? Neil Gaiman's book Neverwhere was originaly a 90s BBC series made with a budget of 50 pence; is anyone who makes fanart of Mr Croup that doesn't look like the actor Hywel Bennet breaking canon? What about the novel that describes the character differently? Or the officially licenced Neverwhere comic where he looks like neither of them? Which is his "canon appearance"?

Canon is an inherently messy concept, and while it is useful for a creative team trying to keep continuity and consistency within a creative work, for thinking about anything beyond that it tends to be more hinderance than help.

Anyway, all this is to say that the above picture and all the others in the RPG are exactly as canon as every other picture you've ever seen of the Archivist.

[occudo]

So many AUs so little energy

and I can't decide help

Gertrude is still around au: Takes the longest, but I have around 5 more 'chapters' worth of text for them in my notes. I like the story, but I lack motivation for long comics rn

P & P TMA sigh... it's my guilty pleasure- and have a few more scenes/quotes I can draw with them... everyone looks good in coats.

Archivist!Georgie/ Podcaster!Jon More of this- everyone is in a different role, what happens with the plot? Who knows? Georgie and Melanie but office romance? Danny Stoker as an assistant? Jon streaming? Is there an apocalypse? Who knows?

Cozy Jmart fluff What it says on the tin- no end of the world, just fluff- maybe cats

Kid Jon (and Gerry and Eric)

The backstory for Jon and Gerry from the first au- how they met, embarrassing childhood stories? Their band? Oh, and Eric being their dad.

OG archive assistants Ghost Hunt UK Part of the Archivist!Georgie/ Podcaster!Jon au, but more focus on Martin, Tim, and Sasha and their youtube show.

Also- if you want a specific thing in these AUs (like Mike and Martin on a date 👀), you can definitely commission me on my kofi- just saying

[two-crows-in-a-trenchcoat]

my thoughts on certain characters being the 'minister'

Peter Lukas - I think it's unlikely bc no jonah to make a wager with to get him off the boat so he's probably still at sea buutt if it was him think it would funny bc he'd definitely have 'disappeared' Collin just to not deal with him

Simon Fairchild - he wouldn't give a shit like we saw him with the extinction stuff he'd just not care about what the OIAR is doing at all and I think that would be funny

Annabelle Cane - that would be verryy plot relevant and also probably the same annabelle Cane from tma bc she said she'd either go with the fears or die and so far as I can remember they said there was no sign of her I would love a return of annabel mainly just bc I love her

Sasha James - more likely to be the new IT person but also I desperately just want sasha to be alive and well I also think she'd be very good at her job we knew she would have made a good archivist but an actual one rather than eldritch horror one so maybe she's a librarian somewhere completely separate

Tim Stoker - I strongly believe he wouldn't take it seriously and would flirt with every one and make jokes about the computers looking worse for wears until he hears about collin and just makes jokes about collin

Danny Stoker - would be funny but would also mean Tim is not linked to the supernatural at all bc he only got involved after Danny's death so if Danny's fine so is Tim and I need Tim to be ok also I think it would be a fun link without them just having the same cast as tma

Elias Buchard (the real one) - would imply gwen is a nepo baby which would be really funny to see them interact also wonder how jonah would feel about it also he was a stoner so I don't think he'd be good at his job and this would be very funny

Jurgen leitner - he's probably dead but I think this would be fun and we don't know if he even had his library in this world but if he did and then became the minister of the oiar that's a bad way to hide and I think he'd die pretty quickly

Daisy Tonner - she would penalise them for everything she'd be so strict on them and probably aggressive I also think its unlikely to be her she'd hate the bureaucracy and would probably empathise with collins solution to their problems

someone new - the fandom reaction would be funny as fuck like we've spent all this time theorising and guessing and then it's no one we've ever heard of before I just think it would be a funny way to throw off everyone

sorry this so long lmao

[samwise1548]

Had this idea at 1am and couldn't sleep until it was drawn

------

[ID: A Magnus Archives drawing of Tim Stoker and Sasha James seated at a table that's cut off on it's left, beyond where Sasha is. Sasha is a black woman with black dreadlocks bleached a golden yellow at the ends, nearly to shoulder length, tied up with a bow. She's wearing yellow lenses cat-ear glasses and a yellow cardigan over a dark beige shirt, and a star necklace. Sitting on her right is Tim, a Puerto Rican man with short brown hair bleached at the bangs, and a brown moustache that's obscured by the grey mug he's holding. He's wearing a red shirt sleeve shirt. Sasha's hands are frozen above a laptop keyboard as she looks at her companion and asks him, "Do you ever think about how the letters of your name can be rearranged to match the abbreviation of this institute?" To which, Tim responds with a grimace into his mug, "Sasha, I don't think about anything before 12 pm tea." The word "anything" is underlined. Sasha's speech bubble is filled in with red, and Tim's is filled in with orange. \End ID]

[pillowspace]

Do you have any tma fic recs?

I am kissing your hand, thank you so much for asking. Let me go take a look through my AO3 bookmarks and see what I still remember reading

Here's some The Magnus Archives fics I like! Some Jonmartin fics, regular fics, and a little Gerrymichael section because I like that

Okay, so first of all, this is my favourite The Magnus Archives fic of all time. I cannot recommend it enough. It has entirely rewired my brain, I have not been the same since I read this. I cried multiple times:

Resigned, Though Not to Fate by inkfingers_mcgee

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist

“You’re really suggesting this,” Martin says, voice pulled thin.

“Yes.” No hesitation.

“You would- actually do it?”

“I would.”

“With me.”

“Yes, Martin.”

“Why?” Because love is blind, says something cliché and cruel in the pit of his gut. Christ, he never was much of a poet, was he?

Or,

When Jon asks Martin to Quit the Archives with him, Martin says yes. Things don't go as planned. In the Scottish Highlands, they hurt, and they heal.

(Re-written as of 22-12-27; see chapter 9 for more info.)

T | Words: 145,746 | Chapters: 9/9

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And there's also these good ones I've enjoyed:

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a deeply annoying child by ajkal2

No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, blink-and-you-miss-it Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, BUT NO SLASH WHILE ANYONE IS A CHILD

Jon is hiding under the desk.

----

There's a child in the Archives, who shouldn't be there.

G | Words: 9,631 | Chapters: 1/1

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rituals by doomcountry

No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims

Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.

T | Words: 8,492 | Chapters: 1/1

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Head in the Lion's Mouth by renwhit

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Danny Stoker & Tim Stoker, Danny Stoker & Jonathan Sims, Basira Hussain & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Danny Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Past Tim Stoker/Sasha James, Danny Stoker & Helen Richardson, Danny Stoker & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Danny Stoker & Melanie King, Basira Hussain & Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain & Danny Stoker

He fell into a deep bow, smiling the whole while. “I’m the ringmaster, of course.”

“Is that skin— Is it yours?” Old wood groaned as the Archivist shifted his weight. “Originally.”

“It is!” the ringmaster said as he swooped back upright. “Nikola decided I wore it well, so she let me keep it. Why do you ask?”

The Archivist gave him another once-over. “You just… you look familiar. Like someone I know.”

On relearning, reconnecting, and redefining.

M | Words: 157,240 | Chapters: 17/17

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Reflection by LazuliQuetzal

No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Emma (The Magnus Archives)

Jonathan Sims, researcher at the Magnus Institute, is seeing a ghost. Of himself.

Of course, it’s not really him, no matter what secrets it knows, or how many arguments it brings up. So if it tells him to do something?

Obviously, he’ll be doing the exact opposite.

(AKA: Jon is an idiot, past and future, but somewhere along the way it all cancels out.)

(Expect general spoilers for S4 and specifically, MAG 158.)

T | Words: 51,527 | Chapters: 10/10

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Out There, Somewhere by Artyphex

No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist

"I'm sorry, you were found alone."

Jon survived the apocalypse and now will go to the end of this new, unfamiliar world to find Martin again.

T | Words: 54,080 | Chapters: 8/8

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Clutching Daffodils by Gemi

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims

Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight.

It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs.

He always liked the idea of it.

And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.

NR | Words: 7,624 | Chapters: 1/1

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Beastly Behaviour by Prim_the_Amazing

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims

“You need to learn a lesson,” she says, and there’s blood speckling her lips now. She’s overstraining herself. He needs to stop her, calm her down. “And until you learn it you will suffer, just like you’ve made me suffer.”

“Mum, I think you need to--”

It turns out that when his father had called his mother a witch, he had meant more than Martin realized.

NR | Words: 73,226 | Chapters: 28/28

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dustsceawung by callmearcturus

No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist

Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court.

However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days.

However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain.

These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.

M | Words: 38,269 | Chapters: 8/8

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Gerrymichael fics I like:

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Break Me Like A Pattern by TheLibraryBat

Graphic Depictions Of Violence,,Gerard Keay & Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gertrude Robinson & Michael Shelley

The year is 2011. Michael Shelley is living his life in circles, blissfully unaware of the betrayal that awaits him in the summer. Gertrude Robinson has plans to enact and plans to destroy. Emma Harvey is hiding a book in the dark place at the back of a cupboard.

When Gerard Keay walks into the Magnus Institute - two years sooner than he was meant to - everything changes.

This is an (eventual) Archivist Michael AU, exploring how certain events might have played out, had one key player been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

M | Words: 215,291 | Chapters: 40/40

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This entire series is so good, all 4 works in it:

As One Door Closes by dramatispersonae

Words: 64,859 | Works: 4

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Choke Chain by dramatispersonae

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/The Distortion

Things Gertrude Robinson possesses: decades of experience killing, containing, and otherwise thwarting supernatural beings, an uncompromising drive to destroy the Rituals and the people who would see them completed, Gerry's loyalty. Things Gertrude Robinson apparently also possesses: a monster on a magic leash.

NR | Words: 14,814 | Chapters: 1/1

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Echo Chamber by orphan_account

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley

“Look, if you’re another, uh, avatar of a horrible eldritch demon god come to assassinate me in a spooky manner, could you get it over with quickly? I haven’t eaten all morning and I’m starving.”

The thing that calls itself Michael stares.

“And this sandwich cost most of my weekly salary,” Gerry adds after a belated moment.

T | Words: 21,439 | Chapters: 1/1

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Please Don’t Eat the Flowers by Sloane

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion, Razor/Wendy, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

Instead of retiring to open a book shop, Gerry ends up working at a flower shop run by American lesbians in London. This leads to a brush with the Distortion, who just wants to buy some lilies, the Magnus Institute finding out he’s still alive, and... well, a normal life was never really in the cards for the likes of Gerard Keay, was it?

Oh, and those lesbians who run the flower shop? There’s more to them than meets the eye—bad Beholding pun intended.

(No knowledge of Maniac Mansion required; I take lots of liberties to slot it into TMA’s universe. UNDER MAJOR REVISIONS. Please see last chapter if you’re a new/returning reader for details..)

M | Words: 77,314 | Chapters: 33/?

[cult-of-the-eye]

LEMME HEAR YOUR UNHINGED TMA RANTS! <3

Oooh I think I've already posted a lot of my rants but one of the characters who I haven't really had a whole rant on is Martin K blackwood.

THIS MAN. This man is so wonderfully written. A lot of characterisations of the "nice one" are quite flat and don't really expand much on them being nice apart from maybe giving the person low self esteem. What I love about Martin is how masterfully it uses that sort of prototype of a character and makes it much more gut wrenching and relatable. He starts off as sort of the office dunce from Jon's pov, which early on we also realise is unreliable. He's the bumbling idiot, the sweet fool and I get it. As a fat person, I feel like a lot of us feel pressured to be the comic relief or to put it more precisely, the one to be laughed at. And he's seen the gap in the archives, he's seen that role that needs to be filled and he's easily filled it. When you have the group of Tim and Sasha and then Jon, the only thing that could unite them is mutual awkward laughter towards Martin. And Martin is used to seeing what's there and filling the gaps, man is a people pleaser to a fault, he has had to guess what his mum didn't like about him and change accordingly, getting it wrong every time. He makes himself palatable which is so REAL especially for a fat person and/or traumatised people.

And then we see this more calculating side of him. He LIED to all his colleagues and his BOSS about a qualification to get a job and then kept that lie going for at least a couple of months. Listen, I don't think it's fair to label Martin as completely a manipulative calculating guy who's just put on a mask but it's also not exactly fair to characterise him as just a sweet, tea making guy who wears jumpers. And that's what I love about him. He's so complex. I feel like it delves into the idea of having both a saviour complex as well as an inferiority complex. He's had to make choices that are above his skillset early in his life and frequently, he's been blamed for causing other people's emotions so he naturally thinks he has control over how other people feel. Which gives him that sense of responsibility, like I can save anyone cause I can control their emotions, if I'm nice enough then they won't be mad/ill/sad/they'll love me. But at the same time, these sort of underhand methods of indirect communication don't resonate to him as causing any damage cause he doesn't actually think he's important enough to cause damage or have an impact on other people's lives

I don't think it's of any shock to anyone that my favourite Martin is angry Martin. It's the part that fights against both aspects of this inferiority/saviour complex because it 1. Is a path of direct communication. He has the opportunity to state exactly how he is feeling and the focus is on that rather than how can I get the other person to respond. 2. It recognises that he is important. Anger is in response to perceived injustice, frustration, annoyance and all of those things are in a way, self preserving. Obviously it's not good to do that too much (see: Tim Stoker) but there you go. I'm not saying angry Martin is perfect or anything but I'm saying that it's so satisfying and interesting to see cause it completely goes against the characterisation we've been given so far and it introduces a whole new facet to Martin - that he doesn't want to be ruled by his trauma and past experiences.

It's honestly a joy to see Martin develop into someone who fights more against the role he's been "given" while simultaneously playing into it. His whole Peter Lukas arc is very much a part of that. Essentially he's saying I'm not important enough to contribute the way you are (inferiority) but I'm still going to try and control things behind the scenes (saviour). So when Jon goes to save him it breaks that, he looks him in the eyes and tells him you, Martin K Blackwood are Important, you make an impact and you Mean Something. You don't have to save us all. It's such an important part of his character arc and honestly it blows me away every time I think about it.

Plus obviously the whole isolation thing is just so AGH it's just so built in to his character it makes complete sense that he has a tendency to isolate himself. It fulfills both the inferiority and saviour - he doesn't think he's important enough to be missed but also he feels like it'll push them into missing him. Solving the problem and putting himself down in one fell swoop.

Our final stage of Martin is one that is far from perfect, far from healed but absolutely closer than he was at the beginning. He shows more of himself, in working towards realising he makes an impact on people, telling jokes and just sharing his thoughts to Jon. So what does him stabbing Jon mean for this? Honestly I'm not entirely sure (I'm gonna be honest I did not realise this rant would be so long lol) but I'm thinking along the lines of this is an ultimate show of acceptance of his significance and rejection of his need to save people. He is committing the most direct act of all, he's doing this in the same need to help people but instead of being manipulative about it, he's just directly doing what needs to be done. But also he's not saving Jon, he's doing the complete opposite. He couldn't control Jon's response to the situation, as much as he wanted to, so he did what jon wanted. I might not be explaining this right cause I'm not entirely sure what I mean either but I'm trying to say it's a poetic end. It's separate from everything he was but in a way that's parallel to and pays homage to his struggles. He's still being sort of a saviour and he's still arguably not the most important person in this scenario but the point is that it's in a different way than he's used to. In my opinion, a better way.

Anyway yeah thank you for enabling me, I didn't know how much I needed this rant and I didn't know I had so much to say lol. <3

[lostonehero]

Tma x mechs

Jonny archivist baby

"Is there a reason you're in my office, Sasha?" Jonny looked up from the statement on his desk.

"I've figured it out." Sasha smirks.

Jonny raised a brow. "Figured out what?"

"Why you suddenly became a dick after the promotion." Sasha hums. "You've fallen hard for Tim and Martin and me, but I'm aromantic, so sorry about that, bud. You're trying to cover your tracks by being a dick and pretending you hate everyone."

Jonny scoffs. "Of course not. I'm perfectly being just here as me and.... have you noticed Martin has a spider collection above his desk?" Jonny sighs. It's only been a few decades. How has he gotten so shit at lying?

Sasha raised a brow. "Jon, come off it." She crosses her arms as Jon sighs. "I'm sure if you talked to them they would be on board."

You're mortal all of you. Is what Jonny wanted to shout, but he couldn't. Even with the metal heart, he was falling hard and fast, weird horror be damned. Maybe he could use the weird horrors to keep them around long. He groans. "You have to be included aromantic or not. You're going to be a part of it, even if it's just sex."

"I'm sure I could arrange something." Sasha finishes her text, and there's a shout from Tim outside Jon's office.

"BLOODY KNEW IT." Tim shouts.

Jonny covers his face. He was screwed.

......

It's only been three weeks since they tried out the dating thing. He can only recall one other time truly where he was in love, and that was with Tim, not Stoker, but Gunpowder. It didn't end well. They remained friends, but it hurt. Tim blamed him for his eyes, but Carmillia was already dead to their knowledge, and they didn't mean to find him. They tried again a few times, but it was never the same, and everything it just hurt him more. DTTM was the final straw that broke the camels back. He's happier now than he has been for a long time. His crew probably doesn't even care that he's gone.

"Jon?" Martin's soft voice broke him away from the self hatred. "Jon, are you ok?"

Tim hugged Jonny's arm. "What ya thinking about, boss man?"

"We are literally in bed together. Don't call me that." Jonny sighs. "My ex, his name was also Tim. We became friends after but it was never the same yaknow. We were a part of this group like a family. I had a really bad falling out with them. That's how I ended up here." He sighs. "I'm not good at being open."

Martin sighs and moves Jon to his chest. "You feel like with us, you're betraying what you once had."

Tim nods. "Well, I'll be a better Tim." He hums softly. "You still have your memories even if they aren't great."

Jonny tries to hide his face in Martin's chest. "Enough! You're making me soft."

"That's the only thing soft about you. You're way too thin." Tim chuckles.

Jonny whines as Martin traps him in a soft hug. "Stop. I am a vicious man."

Tim smiles, joining the hug. "Mmh, yes, you're so scary."

"Yes, you make the statements come alive. Even if toy think they're fake." Martin smiles.

Jonny was absolutely fucked. He had to figure out how to keep them alive, and he'll be damned if Carmillia got involved. That bitch better stay the fuck away from here. She better be dead.

.......

It took a year for everything to go to shit. A fucking year. Jonny sat in the empty archives. It started when Sasha got bit by a moth of all things. He didn't think moths had mouths. Then she got sick. Elias was being a dick about it, and soon she was coughing up worms and talking about music she could only hear. She disappeared after that, claiming she was sick and he hadn't heard anything.

Next was Tim. He started to get sick and pale, claimed the light hurt. He wore long sleeves and sunglasses inside, but he didn't change mentally he just... physically, he was changing, and he tried to help, but one day, they were walking, and a cars shadow passed by, and he vanished. He mourned with Martin.

Last was Martin he helped get to the bottom of things. These fear gods were changing his loves, but they were supposed to have a choice. He rubbed his burned hand. Martin went to hill top road and didn't come back.

He should have known better. He can't just play pretend like he was some mortal. He wasn't even human. He could feel something wet drip down his cheeks. He was crying so much lately he was fucking pathetic.

A soft knock on the door made Jonny rub his face and sit up. "What is it?"

"Sup boss man." It was Tim he had sharper teeth, and his eyes were pitch black, but it was him.

"T-Tim?" Jonny shot up out of his seat.

"Yeah, it's me." Tim rubs his arm. "I can promise you I didn't want this. I've become some sort of monster, and you deserve to -" he gasps as Jonny knocks him to the floor in a hug.

"Fuck that, monster or not I still love you." Jonny freezes he never spoke those words since....

Tim pulls Jonny into a kiss. "Are you sure?"

Jonny nods. "You have to help me find Martin and Sasha now. Im a monster, too, I think. I got this weird knowing thing. Elias won't tell me anything, but I know he knows more than he lets on. We I know about the fears, and you've become an avatar. So what? I don't care."

"Jon, I could kill you." Tim still wraps his arms around Jonny."

"And?" Jonny scoffs. "A lot can kill me. it doesn't mean it will stick."

"What?" Tim blinks.

"I'll explain later." Jonny gets up, grabbing Tim's hand. "We have to find Martin."

"Jo-Jon, wait." Tim can't really stop as he's pulled along.

It wasn't hard to find Sasha next her apartment complex was condemned due to infestation. It also took no effort to break into.

"Tell me again why you know how to pick locks?" Tim sighs.

"Immortal space pirate, Tim please keep up." Jonny smirks as the door opens.

"Just because you survived being dragged through the dark doesn't mean I believe you." Tim pinched his brow as worms splattered Jonny, and soon enough, he exploded in worms, leaving a metal heart on the floor and a half eaten corpse. "Jesus fucking christ."

"Don't you hear.... oh hi Tim." Sasha waves as she makes her way across the room. "Seems you've been busy following a different song."

"I didn't have a choice in the manner." Tim frowns, staring down at Jon. He pauses, and his eyes widen, and he jumps back.

Jonny suddenly sits up as his skin knits back together. He now has ears that flare out like a cow and horns. His teeth are sharp he has claws and a long tail. "Ok, the first time I died like that."

Sasha blinks, and the swarm pulls away from Jon. "I'm sorry my brood ate you, and you exploded. Not that I'm mad, but how?"

"Immortal space pirate." Tim and Jonny say at the same time.

Jonny brushes himself off. "Aw shit my disguise failed. Anyway, do you know where Martin is? I'm pretty sure you guys aren't fired, and I'm in love, and I'm not giving up just because you're weird horror creatures. I've fucked weirder."

"I have so many questions." Sasha pursed her lips. "Let me get dressed, and I'll help you look."

"I also have questions." Tim pauses for a moment. "I love you too."

.......

A woman answered the door at hill top road. "Archivist."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, where's Martin?" Jonny crossed his arms.

"Oh, dear archivist mother has plans for him."

"Ew." Jonny scoffs pushing past the woman. "Martin! I don't care what weird creature you've become. I'm not human, so it will be fine."

A confused response from Martin. "I.... what?"

"Martin!" Jonny runs towards the voice, getting caught in a web. "Fuck."

"Hello Annabelle." Sasha waves at the door she looks almost normal minus the moths fluttering around her.

"Mother doesn't want him dead." Annabelle pauses. "What is he hoping to accomplish?"

"True love." Tim dramatically swoons under his umbrella.

"We also warned him not to just run into here but as you can see." Sasha vaguely motions.

"FUCK!" Martin shouts. "WHAT THE FUCK JON?"

"What you act as if this is the first time I've knawed off a limb to get out of something. See, look, it's already growing back." Jonny motions to his newly reformed arm. "Also spider centaur is pretty hot."

Martin pulls Jonny up and kisses him roughly. "You are the weirdest man I've ever met."

"Technically, not a human man." Jonny snickers.

......

Elias was about to pull his hair out. He had no idea how his new archivist had gotten his assistants back after they turned into avatars. It's actually impressive, but since one of them is now the web, he can no longer spy on his archivist. The hats were new, but he couldn't understand why Jon insisted that it's his new thing. It's the middle of summer. He does not need to wear winter hats.

.......

Nastya had returned to the Aurora too much fanfare, and it only took a day for her to ask where Jonny was. She stared at Tim, who crossed his arms. "So?"

Tim sighs. "After we realized we're yaknow truly immortal. He took it the worst and didn't accept it like the rest of us, and he left. Stole a ship and a bunch of shit, but he's been gone for 100 years. Lyf took his position as lead singer, but we have been looking for him."

"We don't have a way to track him." Brian adds. His metal body has been changing to reflect how he looked before the mechanisms. He was very quiet about it, but it was extremely noticeable. His top hat covered his fox like ears. "We all want him back. We found you by accident looking for him."

Nastya frowns. "He's gone?"

Tim frowns and looks away. "He didn't even take the metal box he keeps under his bed."

"Bullshit." Nastya touches the wall. "Aurora, track the ship Jonny stole. I'm getting my brother back. You're going to apologize." She points to Tim. "He's our captain."

Tim nods. "I fucked up."

.....

"Man, you human holidays are fun." Jonny's tail flicked happily behind him. The Magnus Institute was throwing a massive festival for Halloween. Elias was taking statements he insisted on that. "Didn't have anything like this on my astroid."

Martin followed behind with normal legs but 8 eyes and three pairs of arms. "Well , we will remedy that."

Tim seems to have hair that floated like rising darkness. His eyes were pitch black, and his mouth was full of sharp teeth. He was wearing a shirt. Jonny made him say the better Tim. "Martin, I think he likes it for the amount of sweets he's able to get."

Jonny scoffs. "I like the costumes."

"You're not even dressed up." Sasha raised a brow. "You said that was your normal outfit in space."

"Well, yeah, but it's not normal here, and humans don't have ears teeth or a tail like mine." Jonny huffs.

"Point taken." Martin chuckles. "Oh, looks like Elias got a band to play for the festival."

"It's not a band it's an open mic. A feast of stage fright." Jonny hums. "I'll perform something."

"Spoiling us?" Tim purrs.

"Yes, always." Jonny gasps as Martin picks him up.

"You're a hopeless romantic for someone who has lived as long as you and claims to be just as bitter." Martin smiles.

"Only for you guys." Jonny kisses the right side of Martin's mandible. "We could just skip this and have fun in the bedroom."

"Horndog." Tim chuckles. "How about after we hear you sing song bird?"

"Tim's right." Martin's gaze darkens. "You have to both earn it."

Jonny shudders. "Yes, sir."

Tim nods eagerly.

.......

"Impressive costumes." A cheery soft voice came from a tall, muscular sailor captain.

Lyf blinks. "Um, hello."

"Costume?" TS tilts their head.

"I didn't think Nikola would change for Halloween." A man wrapped around the sailors arm.

"Um, right...." Lyf sighs. "Um, could you help us? We're looking for a man going by Jonathan Sims." He hopes Nastya was right in the fake name Jonny chose.

"You're looking for my archivist?" The man's eyes flash green.

Lyf's eyes flashed rainbow. "I'm sorry. Did you say archivist?"

"Correct. I'm Elias Bouchard. This is a nice Halloween festival for my insistute. Jon is with his partners traversing the festive scene." He gives a sinister smile. "I highly suggest the activities while you look."

"That Sounds Like Jolly Good Fun." TS drags Lyf into the festival grounds.

"W-wait, TS!" Lyf groans he had more questions to ask.

......

Inspector: At the Halloween festival with TS. It's being thrown by the Magnus Institute. TS has prevented me from asking more questions to the head of said institute. However, Jonny might be the head archivist.

Archivist: There is a 100% that's bullshit.

Fire Fire: that's a good joke kid

GP: there's a open mic here to perform.

TS: I Made A New Friend.

There's a picture of TS next to a mannequin who seemed nervous in clown makeup. There appears to be human skin stretched tightly around the plastic body.

TS: This Is Nikola.

Inspector: Tim why the fuck didn't you warn us about earth?

GP: What the fuck are you talking about

GP: TS what the fuck.

Drumbot: I am with Nastya. We have found a meat themed activity. I agree with Lyf. This doesn't seem very human. However my phone will be taken for this so I will talk later.

GP: meat?

GP: Brian?

Doctor: I am going to the mushroom tent! Lyf invitation open to join. I think they will enjoy the fact I am poisonous.

Inspector: Marius we still haven't figured out what you are.

Science officer: Not for a lack of trying. Anyway, I'm going to find that meat tent.

Fire Fire: there's a woman named Jude Perry and she's all about Fire I'm going to find her.

Nastya: They did not let me in with Brian. However, they did give me some sort of meat on a stick. Jonny would love this.

GP: ill play my song. If he's here, he'll come to watch right?

Nastya: I will join you.

.......

Brian stumbled out of the tent. His throat hurt from screaming. He stopped in his tracks and when he looked down at his hands and saw flesh. He blinks and continues to stare. He could feel more so than he did before. He could hear the heart in his chest. He can feel his fox ears twitch under his hat. He could feel his tail. When did he get a tail? He always had one before...

A man bumped into him. "Oh shit sorry man." The man paused, tilting his head. "You ok?"

Brian stared at the man, and it was Jonny. He had glasses on and his normal outfit. "I uh...." He could feel everything, and he was getting overwhelmed. "I think... I." He felt Jonny grab his arm.

"Come on, you look like you're about to pass out." Jonny says softly, leading him to a table where three other people are already sitting down. "Hey, I know promised snacks, but we'll he looks like he's about to panic." He sits the man down who stares down at his hands.

Brian blinks as a bottle of water is put in his hands. He can't eat or drink. Why was this... he unscrewed the cap and drained the contents. Something wet dripped down his cheeks. A soft warm had patted his back, and Jonny sat to his left.

"Hey, are you ok?" A soft voice came from Brian's right. A man with eight eyes and a spider mandible gives a soft smile. He hands over half of a sandwich. "I know the tents can be much for anyone."

"Because avatars run them." The man with shadow like hair sighs. He hands Brian a few tissues. "It's impossible to stop others from being dragged inside."

Brian nibbled on the sandwich. It's been millions of years since he ate anything since he could taste. He couldn't even feel the metal in him, but he knew it was still there. It was changed and he couldn't understand, but this was the best meal he had ever had.

"So what's your costume? It seems very realistic." Jonny smiles.

Brian swallows and wipes his face. It was still so overwhelming, but he could handle it. He pulls off his hat to reveal two fluffy fox ears.

"Oh, let me guess! A foxy magician!" The woman chuckles as moths flutter around her.

"No, he's obviously an animal tamer turned animal." The man nudged her and they both giggle.

"He could just be a furry." Jonny wiggles his brows and the table erupts into laughter.

Brian can't help but laugh along.

"Wait, I have one he's a musician." The spider man smiles.

Brian giggles and nods. "Correct!"

"I'm an ex musician." Jonny smirks.

"No, you're not. You take every chance to perform." The man throws a crumple piece of paper at him.

"Ok, fine, I'm a part-time musician and full-time archivist." Jonny smiles. "Ah, right, let me introduce everyone. The man in the better Tim shirt is Tim, the lovely lady with the various moths is Sasha, and the spider guy is Martin. I'm Jon, the archivist of this insistute, currently dating the two handsome gentlemen, and fucking Sasha because she's happily aromantic."

Sasha salutes.

Martin waves, and Brian notices he has three pairs of arms.

Tim throws finger guns. "You're free to join us. Jon's got a sweet tooth, and double boss man got some American sweets for a few booths."

Jonny nods and gets up. "He's an honorary assistant for the day then."

"You probably shouldn't say that, Elias might actually hire him." Martin chuckles.

"To be fair, he hired you." Sasha winks getting up.

Martin chuckles, holding one hand out to Brian. "Come on, we'll help you navigate this place."

Brian realizes Jonny doesn't recognize him. Which makes sense if he wasn't metal anymore. He also left before his body started to change to reflect what he looked like before mechanisms. He sighs and nods. Might as well see what has happened to Jonny.

"I'll lead the way!" Jonny hops up.

"Eye eye boss man." Tim chuckles.

Jonny rolls his eyes. "We are literally together. Don't call me that."

"Fine, sorry, cowboy." Tim smirks as Jonny blushes.

"... go back to boss man." Jonny says with a deep blush on his features.

.......

Drumbot has changed his name to Brian

Brian sent a photo

It's a picture of Jonny between two men looking happy. Both men are kissing either cheek, and he has a sign that says little cowboy and his partners.

Brian: Jonny doesn't recognize me, but I also don't recognize me.

GP: I'm sorry, but Jonny got hitched!

Nastya: He's wearing wedding bands? Isn't that a human custom?

GP: Brian, what switch are you on

Brian: None

Archivist: impossible

Brian sends another picture

It seems to be a selfie. He has grayish goldish skin, soft, long hair, and big fox ears. He doesn't appear to be made of metal anymore.

Brian: The meat tent was actually a guise for a Flesh god.

GP: this literally can't be earth

Doctor: I think I accidently poisoned the nice mushroom man.

Lyf: I need to bleach my eyes.

Fire Fire: I think I believe Brian becoming flesh again over Jonny getting hitched

Archivist: this is all highly unlikely scenarios

Science officer: I am grabbing you Brian.

TS: My New Friend Stole My Arm Then Screamed When It Reattached

Lyf: I'll get TS from causing a panic.

Doctor: Wait let me come with you my love.

Lyf: not until you bathe in a bath of bleach

Doctor: only for you.

GP: I'm going to rip my eyes out.

........

"Brian!" A woman swoops down mechanical wings spread out as she grabs Brian's shoulder. "It even feels like flesh."

"Ah." Martin pauses. "So, is this a former crew member?"

"Yup." Jonny hums and sips on his bright orange drink.

"So how many are there, like 9?" Tim raised a brow.

"Well, Nastya left, but Lyf joined, and Aurora can be considered a mech as well." Jonny shrugs.

"Isn't Brian supposed to be metal?" Sasha nudges Jonny.

"You know that explains what he looks so familair and yeah he is supposed to be metal." Jonny shrugs again, watching Raphaella poke and prode Brian.

"No wonder why he had a panic attack." Tim hums. "I probably would too if I went from metal to flesh."

"Jonny...?" A Russian accent caught Jonny's attention.

"Nastya?" Jonny smiles. "It's been a while and it's nice to see you."

"What happened to you?" Nastya stops right in front of Jonny.

"Therapy mostly, got hitched, and git a degree, became archivist, and just enjoying life with weird horror gods. What's up with you? It's pretty fucked up that you broke up with Aurora because she changed physically but not mentally."

Nastya blinks and opens her mouth, but Jonny cuts her off.

"Yaknow, I spent decades helping her through the breakup and losing my sister." Jonny sips his drink obnoxiously. "Eh, I'm mostly over it, Marius was right. Therapy does help. Anyway, congrats on rejoining the mechs or whatever you're doing."

Raphealla and Brian have both stopped and stared at Jonny.

Brian takes a breath. "I think my ears are malfunctioning."

"No, I heard that too." Raphaella blinks.

Nastya stared stunned at Jonny.

"Have a fun time and stay away from the tents, you'll get pretty fucked up in you go into them, and not in the fun way." Jonny gets scooped up by Martin.

"I think that was very emotionally grown of you." Martin smiles.

"Does this mean the other Tim is here? Oh fuck yeah I'm going to fuck with him." Tim runs off and jumps into a shadow.

"Follow him!" Jonny climbs to Martin's shoulders. "This is going to fucking confuse Elias to no end."

Martin chuckles. "With pleasure."

[sananaryon]

Magnus Archives dudes ranked by how much I, an aroace lesbian, would want to fuck them

Jonathan Sims - 7/10

Fairly middle of the road academic, would be the worst to make breakfast for the day after, but gets point for being a mess.

Martin Blackwood - 1/10

It's good for others but the teddybear vibes dont do it for me, i'm sorry

Tim Stoker - 9/10

He seems fun and I think he'd understand that this is no strings attached, we'd have a good time.

Elias Bouchard - 6/10

Evil old men are fuckable, but loses points for being the worst.

Gerard Keay - 3/10

I wouldn't fuck Gerard, I'd make him good food and let him stay at my place for as long as he needs.

Jurgen Leitner - 5/10

Look. He gets a worse rap than he deserves. That said he loses points for probably talking too much during sex.

Michael Crew - 7/10

I like his powers and he seems like a fun guy to fuck, plus scars are hot but seeing them also involves seeing a semi-buff dude shirtless which is like my biggest turnoff.

Michael Distortion - 6/10

I am a monsterfucker but i don't like his voice.

Peter Lukas - 3/10

Bear DILF is a great vibe but i feel like he'd wanna do it in Lonely and i'm cold at the moment so that sounds awful.

Oliver Banks - 3/10

He'd be an 10 if he hadn't said anything to trigger my thanatophobia halfway through. He'd make good breakfast after though.

Adelard Decker - 7/10

Saved more people than Gertrude, I'd fuck him just for that.

Eric Delano - 9/10

DILF

Michael Shelley (pre-Distortion) - 3/10

Another one that just doesn't do it for me, but he's cute enough.

Mikaele Salesa - 10/10

He has sugar daddy vibes, I'd fuck him for a new ps5 and he'd pay my bills.

Breekon & Hope - 10/10

Worse ways to spend a weekend than being spitroasted by buff delivery men with sexy voices.

John Amherst - 1/10

He has every std

Maxwell Rayner - 2/10

I mean, he's hot enough but next to Manuela everyone is a 1. This is the one time i let my lesbianism influence my judgement

Jordan Kennedy - 6/10

The ants are a turnoff but I respect a working man

Jared Hopworth - 10/10

I DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY THIS ONE

Tom Haan - 4/10

Cannibalism is hotter when women do it, I lied about not letting my lesbianism decide.

Robert Montauk - 8/10

Dilf AND serial killer? My panties are already wet

Trevor Herbert - 4/10

Points for being the same as Robert but he was mean to Daisy so fuck him in a non sexy way

Simon Fairchild - 4/10

His optimism just gets to the point of annoying, dude shut up about what a lovely day it is while im sucking you off!

Edwin Burroughs - 7/10

I wouldn't need possession to corrupt him

Raymond Fielding - 5/10

Middle of the road, I wouldn't say no but i wouldn't initiate.

Robert Smirke - 10/10

This is 100% because i study architecture and fucking Robert Smirke would give bragging rights forever.

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Tim Stoker X Archival Assistant!reader

Summary: here you go, some headcanons for our Tim and how your relationship would start, enjoy:)

You first met Tim as an archival Assistant. Your first day on the job.

You were joining a bit later than all the others. You still had some things left to finish at your previous position at the Institute and you do not leave things half done.

Tim's first reaction to you was to flirt. To flirt shamelessly:

"Hey gorgeous, what brings you down to our dark, creepy archives?"

It only escalated from here

You were positively flustered (Tim can have that effect even on the most confident of people. No one stands a chance if Tim uses 100% of his charms)

And eventually, you were rescued by a laughing Sasha:

"Come on, Tim! Leave the girl alone! You don't want to scare away a new Archival Assistant"

"Me? I am positively delightful!" Tim put his had on the heart, pretending to be mortaly wounded by Sasha's statement.

"I can't imagine a universe where I'd be scaring away a girl... Especially this charming" he'd finish winking at you, prompting you to laugh lightly.

"So, an Archival Assistant, eh?" Tim continued in a suave tone

"Starting today, yeah" you replied.

"Alas, my prayers have been answered" Tim raised his arms toward the ceiling "I have been graced with seeing your pretty face each morning!"

His flirting didn't stop. In fact, it escalated exponentially over time

The next morning he would greet you with a pick up line. And then the next morning and the next...

He seemed to have an endless supply of them.

Somehow he managed to not repeat a single one.

Definitely uses cute nicknames on you: sweetheart, darling, babe.

Will sometimes try cringy ones just to get a rise out of you.

You knew Tim's reputation, so took all his flirting attempts with a grain of salt.

"You can't have me seriously believing that Tim, 'I can charm a copier if I put my mind to it' Stoker, actually has feelings for me" you laughed.

Sasha sighed. She has just finished listening to Tim's 'Why cant she believe I have feelings for her? I have been so open and genuine about them' rant.

Tim definitely tries distracting you from your work, preventing you from doing anything productive. Any chance he gets:

You were currently sitting at your desk, trying to find any trace online regarding the statement of the week. You were pulled out of your thoughts by wheels skidding on the floor. Looking up you saw Tim on a wheely chair, sliding up next to you.

"Did you know that..."

or another time:

Your peaceful work was interrupted by a paper airplane hitting the side of you head. You looked up and saw a grinning Tim Stoker. He waved at you and motioned for you to unfold the paper. Once you did, you saw a cutesy doodle of you and him holding hands and a bunch of hearts around. You simply raised an eyebrow and put the drawing aside.

Tim was, however, pleasantly surprised, seeing it taped to the side of you computer screen the next day.

Did I mention flirting? I feel like I should mention it again, for good measure. Flirting Lot's of flirting. Lot's of shameless flirting

Sasha definitely notices Tim's feelings for you. Almost instantly.

And she would tease him. Mercilessly. Relentlessly.

She would also take on the role of your biggest shipper. Whenever you and Tim talk, you better believe she is making heart shapes at both of you from a safe distance.

She also uses her amazing computer skills to make cute and embarrassing edits of you two.

Sasha is also, coincidentally, the most amazing wing-woman ever (probably because she had to take action after seeing you and Tim pine for each other relentlessly).

You would be sorting through the statements when she would approach you and ask sneakily:

"So, Tim took you out on a date, yet?"

"No" you'd say and add quietly "Unfortunately"

This wouldn't slip past Sasha's keen ears:

"Unfortunately? So you do want to go on a date with him!"

You'd splutter to deny it, only prompting her to laugh more.

"Maybe if you sent him some more... Positive feedback to his flirting attempts and maybe told him a simple 'yes' to his countless attempts to invite you out... Maybe then, you'd already be smooching and planning your wedding..." Sasha said pointedly and the added more wistfully "and maybe then I wouldn't have to listen to his rants about you"

After quite a restless night you decided to give it a shot. "Why not?" You reasoned. What's the worst thing that can happen? An awkward break up when he realises he doesn't like you that much and having to work with him for at least another year? You decided not to dwell on that much.

Obviously Tim was low-key surprised when instead of shutting down his flirting attempts you flirted back. He was even more surprised when you agreed to go on a date with him.

He nearly lost his composure, but once he finally processed what happened, he beamed at you and tripled his flirting.

Throughout the day he was very hyper and becoming a bit too much to his colleagues and you

But can you blame him? He finally got the green light form you. Of course he's going to rant about it to Sasha. Of course he is going to make small doodles on the margins of his paperwork that he is later to hand in to Jon.

Tim DEFINITELY took you kayaking on you first date:)

It's a great opportunity to flex his muscles and have great fun at the lake.

Chances are you ended up falling into the water:

You were rowing in perfect harmony while exchanging some quips back and forth. It was great. Until Tim said something along the lines of:

"Sure, you're right. Can't argue with that cuteness. You could probably say that the Earth is flat and I'd believe you" he briefly took his hand off the oar to ruffle your hair.

"Hey! If I ever tell you nonsense like that, I expect you to correct me" you turn to smack him with your oar. Tim ducks out of the way, making your kayak rock from side to side.

"Don't do that! We're gonna flip the boat" You say gripping the side of the kayak for balance.

Tim grins wickedly before shifting to the other side, making the kayak careen dangerously "Don't do what? This?" he suddenly goes to the other side.

"Yes! Don't-" you're cut off as the kayak predictably flipped over and you both ended up in the slightly chilly water.

Tim laughed. You prepared to give him an angry tirade, but couldn't help laughing with him.

You got out of the water at some point... Completely soaked through.

You pulled off your shirt and put it to dry, huddling in a blanket, which, by some miracle, wasn't completely wet.

"You sh-should take off your shirt to dry" you told Tim, chattering your teeth.

"Woah! If you wanted to see me shirtless, you didn't have to flip the kayak" Tim said, taking his shirt off "You could've just asked" he smirked at you. Prompting an eye roll.

"You do remember that you were the one who flipped it, right?" You deadpanned raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm...." He pretends to think "Maybe I wanted you to see me shirtless" Tim shrugged and said "Details"

You could only shake your head and laugh.

And of course the only logical solution was to cuddle. For warmth. And because it felt nice

Tim wrapped his arms around your torso and snuggled into your neck, while you fried some marshmallows for s'mores on a campfire.

When you came the next day holding hands, Sasha was extatic.

She might or might not have started planning your wedding.

A/n: anyway, that concludes the headcanons, I hope you like it:) I'm definitely writing headcanons for Dating!! Tim

[elias-magnussy]

Hello! Welcome to my weblog. I'm Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute, here to answer any queries you might have about my Institute, the supernatural or my personal character.

FAQ:

-Can I get a raise?

When you stop spending all your time on the internet and do some actual work instead of looking at my blog, yes.

-Do you take interns?

We are always in need of interns. They're so easy to lose.....

-What happened to [First Name] [Last Name]?

I don't know. Check our obituary.

-What happened to [Evil Object] and can I take it home?

No. It's locked away for a reason.

-Will you ever free the Archival Staff?

No. They are staying there to be punished for their crimes.

-What are the crimes?

Asking too many questions.

-I've got [Any legal query involving Elias Bouchard]

Talk to my lawyer. I assure you, you'll want to speak to him first.

-I've got [Any legal query involving the Institute being responsible for members of your family or friends being eaten]

I don't care.

-Can we get a cat in Library?

Mmmh okay.

-Can we get a cat in Artefact Storage?

It will die.

-Can we get a cat in the Archives?

Oh boy, I am not dealing with that.

-What about Michael?

I can't properly put into words just how vague of a question that is.

-Are you ever gonna install an accessibility ramp?

I don't want to be called ableist because I killed disabled people. If you want to die under horrible circumstances, well... I don't know? Ask a good friend or move to Australia. Just get off my lawn before you do it.

-What are those earrings from?

Claire's

-Your employee bit me/Tim Stoker seduced me/your Archivist shot me in the face/your Archivist is in my dreams/anything else regarding the bad behavior of my employees

Not my business, take it up with them.

-What about [supernatural entity that features in one of your statements]?

Really? I don't care about what my people are doing to you, and you think I control these freaks?

-I am being haunted and I am afraid I'm going to be hurt.

Not my business yet, you have to get traumatised first.

-What happened to your nose?

Don't trust gingers, they're the spawn of the Devil.

Ooc rules/

Okay this this is going to be. A slightly covertly villainous, although still very polite, jonah!elias. But guys i have so many headcanons.

Sfw stuff is obviously encouraged as is flirting or nsfw although Elias might react by rebiffing you. Hey, I'm up for it, don't hate the game hate the player and get yourself some more rizzarooni. Any in universe ships are welcome too!

In universe hate is welcome but please stay on track and only bring up stuff he did. No baseless "i want to hit you with many hammers" that's the thing i'm sensitive about guys please

Any interaction from anyone including non rp blogs is very welcome, asks reblogs, feel free to hop into my posts... Yeah

Apologies for delays in responding to stuff, it is never in character my brain just has the processing power of a magnavox odyssey (and i get. stressed.)

Asks are tagged with #asks

Longer conversations are tagged with #rp chain

Everything is tagged with #tma rp

More outwards manipulation is tagged with #tw manipulation

But I'll have to issue a general gaslighting warning for the whole blog, Elias is gonna... Elias...

#suggestive and #nsfw are tagged as well

#elias does a posting: original posts

Tagging ships for filtering purposes

My main is @klm-zoflorr and I have another rp blog, @ghosts-of-wars-past (melanie king)