#time to do everything and which things am i willing to continue not getting to do and which things do i feel like i can do?

[roseverdict]

parents are gone on a cruise. time to tear through my room looking for the tatting shuttles i know i bought years ago and am 95% sure are not lost to The Old House

[musical-chick-13]

"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"

I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.

[audiovisualrecall]

Hate that I have to go back to work tomorrow and work thru Tuesday (for no fucking reason. Monday, I get! Cleamup from Sunday plus I have an order to write. Why do I have to be there on tuesday????) (Also my boss is so bad at making schedules he constantly puts 2 people on Tuesdays and 1 person on Wednesdays despite the latter always having way mote product coming in than a Tuesday And being busier. Make it make sense.)

On the other hand the rain stopped and it's bright out and dry now I guess?? So a) hopefully the garden center delivery didn't come earlier and comes now instead, and b) this means sales will do better on the outdoor now that the rain has stopped. So hoping it'll be more of 'some rain but some dry+sunny/clear moments' this week instead of 'constant pouring rain and also thunder' like I was worried it'd be.

Still don't want to go in tomorrow

[totheblood]

shiver | s.r.

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: spencer would do anything for you, but doesn't understand why you have pulled away from him.

warnings: angst, avoidant!reader

a/n: gonna be so honest i wanted this to be a series but i ended up hating it like 2k words in so that's why the end is so good... if people like it i will do a part two but oh my god its so bad and rushed towards the end... but this one is for my avoidantly attached girlies!! i see u and i love u and i am also sorry.. reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses.. PLEASE SEND SPENCER REQUESTSS!!!

wc: 3.1k

"So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention, do you?."

The hum of the air condition rang through the bullpen as Spencer studied you from his desk. With your hand in your hair, absentmindedly reading files with your body slumped forward, you looked unbelievably and unmistakably tired.

 It was another late night doing paperwork from last week's case, and nearly everyone was running on caffeine and pure luck. Spencer had finished his work an hour, thirty four minutes, and eight seconds ago but he still found himself glued to his chair and taking on JJ’s leftover work. All so he could silently watch over you from his desk. 

He didn't quite understand his fascination with you. It was almost embarrassing how he hung onto your every word you said, willing to do any and everything you wanted him to. But it was more embarrassing that you never paid him that same attention. Well, that wasn't completely true when he first met you, but as the months went on he could feel your attention from him drifting. 

When you first started at the BAU last year you were shy and timid, but Spencer noticed the small chuckles that escaped from your lips at his complex jokes and how your eyes watched him as he spewed some random fact that the rest of the team groaned at. You used to hang onto every word he said, asking him follow up questions with your pupils dilated. 

It was natural how you gravitated towards him. He was the only one on the team remotely close to your age, and like you, he was a bonafide genius. But you always wanted to know more and he always wanted to tell you more. It was innocent and pure, the way he thought about you, until you started to pull away. 

Spencer knew the chemical reaction that occurs in the brain when someone who used to give you attention pulls away. It creates a pattern similar to drug addiction, something he was all too familiar with, and it had started to get all too familiar for him to know how to properly deal with it. It had reached the point where he was counting each glance you gave him, the small way the corners of your mouth quirked up when you spoke to him, and even to the point where he was keeping track of how many words you uttered to him daily. 

He tracked it too. Your conversations with him had been on a steep decline since February, and now in late May he found himself wondering what he had done wrong. He had known the path he was leading himself down was one he shouldn't continue, but he couldn't care. His brain was operating for him, and he was succumbing to his worst fears. 

His brain made any attempts to rationalize your behavior, none of which calmed his anxiety. Maybe he was too clingy, always opting to sit next to you on the jet, or partner up with you in the field. Maybe he had said the wrong thing, something that made you immediately sick of him. Maybe you started seeing someone. The last one bothered Spencer the most, but he couldn't understand why. 

Spencer did everything he could to convince himself he didn't have a crush on you. As juvenile as it sounds was as juvenile as he felt every time his cheeks tinged pink when you spoke to him. He tried to convince himself that he didn't actually ‘like’ you, he just was preoccupied with you. It was your behavior that triggered his attachment style, it wasn't that he liked you. 

And as much as he wanted it to be true, he knew it wasn't. He was infatuated the moment he met you. Spencer knew he could never forget anything, but he knew for sure he would never forget your face. He traced in his mind over and over again, the way your whole face lit up when you ate something sugary, how your eyes blinked up at him when you spoke, and how you would drag your teeth in between your lips whenever you were focused. He'd find himself finding any excuse to be close to you. 

Spencer had once made a vow to himself that he would never pretend to be stupid. Not for anyone, and especially not for a girl. Which is why he almost physically smacked himself when he pretended to not have read a book by Jane Austen just so he could have something to talk to you about. He had read her entire collection when he was eight, yet he still found himself agreeing to read it and tell you how he liked it. He never forgot a word of the book “Emma,” but he still found himself rereading it for you. That was how much power you had over him. A power you seemed to be unaware of. 

6 months ago - November

“So, did you read it?” you questioned, arm pressing into the hardword of his desk, eyes wide and waiting. He didn't notice you at first, which was a first for him, making him jump as he turned to face you. 

“I did,” he answered, lips in a tight smile as he set his pen down, “I still have no idea why everyone seems to love Mr. Knightley. He strikes me as being a bully. I liked Frank Churchill far more.”

“Please,” you scoff rolling your eyes, “Churchill, seriously? All he had were his good looks. He was a total ass!” Your use of ‘ass’ earned a genuine smile from Spencer, whos eyes lit up as he spoke. 

“He wasn’t the most sincere,” he starts, shaking his head, “but he still had a far better personality than Knightley. I’d sooner date Frank Churchill over Mr Knightley. At least Frank had a sense of humor.”

“That's true, I guess,” you agreed looking down at his pristine desk. All he had on it were closed case files and a framed photograph of him and the team on it. You weren't in it but you studied it quickly, noticing how Spencer stared a brunette in the picture. Whoever it was, he was looking at her like she held the world in her hands. You would be lying if you said it didn't sting. As if he could sense you deflate he sat up straighter, following your vision to the picture on his desk. 

“We have to take a new one-” he rushed out quickly, causing your eyes to snap back to him, “You know, one with you… in it,” He pursed his lips nodding as he spoke again, almost as if he couldn’t stop himself, “You know cause now you're part of the team and this picture is old anyways. From when I first started here and as you can tell, I look completely different and it's time I updated it.”

“Who’s she?” you asked, finger pointing directly to Elle’s face. As you spoke you watched for any clues that would give you insight on how he felt about her. 

“Oh, Elle,” the way he said it made him sound defeated, like he forgot that she was in the picture, even though you knew that wasn't the case, “she used to work here, but, uh, she left.”

“You guys were close?” you questioned him, eyebrows raised as you watched him glance over at the picture before leaning back in his chair and putting all his focus on you. 

“Yeah,” he sighed, “we were, but…” his voice trailed off, as looked down at his feet, “we're not in contact anymore. She hasn't really spoken to any of us since she left,” 

“Oh,” you sighed out. You wanted to be upset that it was obvious he was enamored with her, but you just felt bad. The way his whole demeanor changed as he spoke made you feel more upset than anything, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” his eyes darted back up to you as his tight-lipped smile reappeared. He glanced back at his desk, before turning his body away from you, “I, uh, have some work I should get back to, though,”

“Yeah,” you smiled, standing up straight as you prepared yourself to turn around. You wanted to say something, anything, but you didn't. You just turned around and went back to your desk, something stinging brewing in your chest. 

Present Day

Spencer thought back to that day, wondering if his change in disposition is what made you change. It rang through his head as he tapped his foot, eyes trained on you. He was lost in thought when your eyes snapped up towards him, making him flinch. You offered him a small smile but it hadn't reached your eyes before looking back down at your work. 

The interaction made him decide that it was time to go home. That him sitting and staring was doing nothing for him or you. Standing up, he slung his messenger bag across his body, goodbyes prepared on the tip of his tongue. As he was about to speak Hotch exited his office, eyes meeting sympathetically with Spencer’s as he entered the bullpen. 

“We have a case,” Hotch announced, “I need everyone in the conference room in ten.” 

As the team flooded into the conference room, Spencer hung back, watching as you collected your things and trailed behind the rest of the team with a stack of files in your arms. 

“Need help with th-” Spencer began, arms outstretched towards you.

“No,” you replied abruptly, “I’m fine.”

It came out colder than you would have liked, causing Spencer to shiver, purse his lips and head into the conference room with his head hung low. 

“Our first victim was 35-year-old Leonardo Ruiz,” Garcia started, remote in hand clicking to display the picture of the mutilated man with his hands bound by rope and publicly displayed hanging from trees. Almost instinctively you flinch. You know it's the job but it never gets easy seeing the images. The man's face was distorted, slashed repeatedly with a knife until he became unrecognizable.

“He was reported missing after failing to report to his shift,” another click of the camera to show the abandoned patrol car, with the door open, it was obvious there had been a struggle, “His patrol car was found 2 miles from where his body was found in Arlington, where there appeared to be a struggle. Ruiz was missing for approximately two days before his body was discovered.”

“There was no dash cam footage from the patrol car?” Rossi asks from his chair, leaning forward as Garcia clicks the remote again.

“Exactly what I thought, but here's the creepy bit: There is no sign of another person on the dashcam footage. He doesn't even mention seeing another person, you can't hear the struggle, in fact there is no audio on the footage at all. Because three days before Ruiz went missing, his dashcam footage lost all audio. He reported it to the department and they were going to look into it but they were unable to fix it before Ruiz was taken,” Garcia answers, sending a chill down your spine. 

“So this was premeditated,” you speak up, causing everyone to look at you, including Spencer. You were still finding your footing in the group, trying to be useful to the group without saying the wrong thing, “The unsub is patient, willingly waiting for a perfect moment to strike. Could be revenge,”

“You're on the right track, pumpkin,” Garcia starts clicking another picture onto the screen, “That leads us to our next victim, Detective Luther Hodges from a different precinct was abducted from his home, reported missing for two days before he was found in the same way as our last victim in a public park,” Garcia herself winces as she looks at the pictures of the body strung up to a children's playground, “However this time our unsub left a witness, Hodge’s seven year old daughter, Lucy,” 

“If he left her as a witness, it could mean that he used her as a way to get him to leave willingly,” Spencer started, eyes squinting as he viewed the screen, “or he’s simply… devolving,”

“You’re absolutely right, boy genius,” Garcia starts, clicking the remote again to reveal a final body, causing the group to gasp. On the screen was Federal Agent Angela Barnett in the same position as the others. “One of our own, Angela Barnett was taken from a grocery store she frequented, and only kept one day before she was found in this state.”

“He’s devolving and rapidly,” Hotch says, closing his file and standing up, “Garcia contact MPD and let them know we're coming,” he commands, causing Garcia to nod a quick “yes, sir,” before rushing out the office, “I want to be out of here in ten,” he instructs the group, resulting in nods as everyone stands and begins collecting their things. 

“Hey,” Spencer calls from beside you gently, his voice close to being a whisper, “do you want to ride with me? I just got this new audiobook on the evolving traditions of the Amish and Mennonites on the East Coast,” he offers you a small smile that you can't help but mirror. 

“Oh, uh,” you look down, you know you’ve been pulling away but you can't help it, “Yeah, that sounds… interesting,”

Spencer can't help the grin that spreads across his face as he nods gently, cheeks tinged pink as he picks up his bag from the floor, “Great, I’ll see you then.”

The car ride was awkward to say the least, Spencer glancing over at you every five seconds as you started out the window, watching the passing trees. You drowned out the audiobook, too focused on wanting the car ride to be over that you didn't notice when Spencer had cut it off. 

“Is everything okay?” He spoke up, fingers tapping at the steering wheel as he kept his vision focused on the road. 

“Yeah,” you sat up, looking over at him and scratching the back of your neck, “I’m fine,”

“Are you sure?” he asked again, “You’ve just been… different with me. If I did anything, I’m sor-”

“You didn't do anything,” you cut him off, “I didn't realize I had been acting different,” you lied quickly, earning a scoff from him, “What?”

“The amount of conversations we have daily has been on the decline since February, decreasing by 4 percent daily in the last two weeks,” Spencer let slip casually, his own tone colder than intended, “Hard thing to not realize, especially for someone like you,”

“Someone like me?” You questioned, arms crossing defensively across your chest. 

“Someone smart,” Spencer looked over at you, “And I’m not stupid either, by the way. I would appreciate it if you just told me you didn't want to be friends outside of work instead of avoiding me like I’m the plague.”

You were silent for a beat, looking down at your hands, fingers intertwined with each other. You never understood why you got this way, why romantic feelings caused you to turn in on yourself. All you wanted to do was run, jump out of the car, scream, so you did the next best thing, “I’d prefer if we kept our relationship strictly professional,” your voice came out quieter than you would have liked. 

Spencer felt his stomach drop as his breath caught in his throat. He ignored the stinging in his eyes as he cleared his throat, swallowing harshly before replying, “Okay.”

The rest of the ride was uneventful, Spencer turned back on the audiobook and you allowed the blood to rush to your ears, drowning out the rest of the noise. The night was much busier than anticipated, all law enforcement officers on edge with the rise of a serial killer that put targets on their back. 

You spent a majority of the case avoiding Spencer, opting to partner with Derek on interviewing witnesses while JJ and Spencer built a geographical profile. When it was time to deliver the profile, you stayed back, only offering minimal input. 

Then, you found him: Jacob Raines. Jacob Raines had been a former police officer who was let go due to his use of excessive force and brutality. His rage and anger in turn got geared towards law enforcement, blaming them for his pitfalls. 

Garcia found an abandoned warehouse registered in his name in the outskirts of the city, where he was most likely keeping his victims before murdering him. The team dispatched to the warehouse, with you, Spencer and Morgan, entering first. 

You wouldn't have entered without backup if it wasn't for the sounds of screams coming from inside, and Spencer rushing in first. As if on instinct you followed after him, gun raised as you cleared behind him towards the screams. In the middle of the warehouse was a police officer still in uniform, tied to a chair with a tear stained face. She was crying as she plead for Spencer to untie her. As he worked to undo the knots you heard footsteps, causing you and Spencer to stand up abruptly. In front of Spencer was a 6 foot man, weapon raised and aimed right at him with his finger on the trigger. Based on the profile, you knew he would shoot and you knew he wouldn't think twice. He planned this, he knew the BAU would come for him and he wanted to take out as many people as he could. 

As if on instinct you pushed Spencer out of the way, a bullet aimed for his kelvar vest had made impact with your shoulder, piercing through it as you hit the cold concrete. Spencer was stunned but got up in enough time to take three shots at the unsub who had his weapon aimed and ready to shoot again. The unsub fell with a loud thud, but Spencer turned back to lean down next to your body that was growing increasingly colder. A puddle of blood had began to form underneath you and while it was clear it didn't hit any major organs, you were still bleeding out rapidly. 

Through the ringing in your ears you could here Spencer’s pained and rush voice signal over the radio, “Officer down, need medical, gunshot wound to the shoulder.”

His voice and hands were shaking as he applied pressure to the wound with his palm, as he urged you, “keep your eyes open,” he pleaded with you, “just stay awake until they get here,” he begged. But you were so tired, and your eyes were getting heavier, so you let them close. 

And everything went black. 

[kaicubus]

My Number One Priority | Kokushibo

₊˚⊹♡ ∘₊ ───────────── ₊˚⊹♡ ∘₊ ─────────────── ₊˚⊹♡ ∘₊

warnings ✩° : 18+ NSFW, cursing, brat taming!receiving, rough sex, p in v, fucking against a wall, built up tension, consumption of alcohol (but non-intoxicated sex), not established relationship, consensual sex, size difference, open area fucking, dirty talk, dacryphilia.

pairing ✩° : bodyguard!kokushibo x fem!reader, au not specified maybe modern idk...

premise ✩° : as your personal body guard, kokushibo is tasked with looking after everything you do to ensure your safety. you typically don’t take kindly to his overbearing nature, seeing as he’s just someone your dad hired, but kokushibo wants to change your mind about this whole protection thing to show you it’s really not all that bad.

word count ✩° : 5.7k

authors note ✩° : so. i’m back. with this. lol!

────────────────────────────────────────────

"Look! I don’t need you following me around all day! You’re not going to this club with me, you don’t wear anything besides that suit and I’m not letting you follow me around looking like you’re going to the next business conference! Besides, don’t you have something better to do?”

You breathe out a rough sigh and cross your arms with nothing but pure frustration clouding all judgment. For the past month or two, you’ve had your very own bodyguard, someone who follows you around, guards areas where you’re present, and doesn’t let you have a mind of your own. Of course you didn’t need one, but being related to one of the richest men where you live, your father keeps you on lock down where a body guard is needed. It annoyed you at first, and it annoys you now.

You have a reputation for always managing to uproot even the most stubborn of weeds that call themselves your protectors, usually playing tricks on them to get them fired or slip up enough times that your father makes sure they never work again, just because the feeling of a man—usually two times your size—lurking over your shoulder every waking second rubs you the wrong way. What makes it especially worse was that none of them had personality, they were all the same: quiet, uninterested, and far too uncomfortable with you to do anything risky.

Up until recently, it really hurt knowing the undeniable truth that your body guards were never going to be your friends or even get to know you—they were just mindless husks working with strings in their backs to do anything your father said. He was the one with money after all. You were just an associate to them.

That realization was the reason why you decided to burst all out on your father’s new hire, a man by the name Kokushibo. According to him, Kokushibo was the perfect fit for his lovely daughter, reserved, agile, and willing to stop at nothing to ensure your safety. But to you, Kokushibo was just like the rest, quiet, uninterested, and most likely just doing what he’s told. On his own, though, Kokushibo was tall, way taller than you, had long, layered hair with frosted red tips that stood out from his head of otherwise dark burgundy hair, and almost ghost white skin. His arms were strong, which your father made sure to comment on with a goofy gesture of flexing his own, elderly muscles, saying how they’re, “the best in the game,” and even pulled up Kokushibo’s pants to reveal his toned calves and rave at those too. When it happened, you lost your mind, screaming at your father at the invasion of privacy, but Kokushibo remained solemn and just let your father continue.

When you were introduced, all Kokushibo did was bow and make a promise of not letting you get out of his sight, and making sure you were his number one priority. What a load of shit.

So now, with your finger in his face, you buck up to your body guard and glare at him. Your silence means nothing to him, Kokushibo continues to stare at you as if he was watching paint dry, which easily irritated you more. “Kokushibo I am NOT letting you go with me.” Your answer remains the same. In your defense, you’ve been planning to go to a club with your friends all week. Getting dressed up and doing your makeup and attending a trashy club isn’t something that’s usually in your schedule, so when presented with the opportunity to take shots or even better, hook up with someone random, you eagerly accepted. The only issue now is the man standing behind you in your own bathroom, watching you poke the backs of gold hoops through your ears.

“I can wear something else if the suit is the issue.” Kokushibo says with his head tilted down, “I don’t only wear this. I know club attire isn’t proper like what I’m wearing.” He wanted to justify.

“Well, maybe you should wear something else for a change, maybe then I’ll see you as something other than a robot who follows me around. You’re like one of those cartoon characters who never changes their outfit because their show doesn't receive enough funding for more animation frames...or something.” You laugh to yourself and spin your head around in the mirror, checking all angles of how your earrings look, “Perfect!”

Kokushibo leans against the door frame and lets out a small grunt of displeasure, “I still think you should’ve worn the white dress.”

“And look like some runaway bride? Plus, I’m not trying to spill anything on imported silk. So. What, you don’t think the black looks cute on me?” You look over your shoulder and give your bodyguard a pouty look, poking fun at his question. Kokushibo shrugs and rolls his eyes, “I’m just glad you chose to cover up this time.”

Looking down at your outfit, you had to disagree with his passive aggressive remark. Whether you covered up or not was never dependent on how cute you looked. The long sleeve dress look was already so complimentary to your figure, hugging your hips and waist in all the right places, even enhancing certain assets which was a nice bonus. The only issue you had with the dress was with the length. Sure, you’d be going to a dimly lit club where no one would be able to tell if your dress rode up just a bit, but the struggle of constantly pulling it down to avoid that already made your head roll back in annoyance. Almost as if he’d read your mind, Kokushibo lets out a chuckle and makes his way behind you.

With only an inch or two separating you from each other, you swear you can hear your name leave his lips in sort of a desperate tone, yet it’s quiet and almost sort of whiny, leading you on to believe he really doesn't want you going. But who was he to stop you from having fun? You deserve it for putting up with him.

“Here,” You hold your hand out to your body guard, “Can you put this on for me? It’s got a little clasp, so try not to break it with your huge, killer hands please?” As much as you like to joke about things like that, Kokushibo knows all too well what he’s done to protect you with those same hands, now holding an expensive 14k gold plated choker, laying it across your collarbone. His pale, knobby fingers fidget for a second, releasing the clasps from each other, and wrapping it around your neck.

It was all you needed before you headed out to a night of fun and getting the perfect chance to turn heads and grab the attention that you lacked with anyone else around, mostly Kokushibo. But then again, you wanted to ignore the possible thought that you could ever wish your bodyguard to look at you in a way that no body guard is allowed to.

You turn back towards the mirror, ignoring the eyes that stared as you applied the expensive, creamy red lipstick onto your lips slowly. The color itself was a guaranteed rite of passage to any eyes in the club, especially accompanied by your dress and jewelry, and it only helped that it was a light wear and something that was easily smudge proof. That was, if anyone would want to kiss you tonight, no one would suspect anything when you came back home.

The sudden feeling of rough hands gliding down your waist jostles you from your thoughts, rustling the fabric hugging tightly against your skin just enough to expose your thigh to the curious thumb already poking in.

“Need I remind you, Y/n, I don’t need you getting into any trouble tonight.” Kokushibo’s husky voice speaks into your ear, “You know if I’m not there to watch you, someone could easily kidnap you and hold you for ransom, right?” His fingers massage lightly into your hips, signaling he means no harm with his sudden grab. Said sudden grab, however, ignites a swarm of butterflies inside of you, instantly flooding directly to your chest and stomach leaving you with no sensible thought when the words, “Don’t worry Kokushibo, I’ll be good. I promise.” leave your red stained lips in an exasperated tone.

Kokushibo smiles and lets go, although you wish he hadn’t. With that, you find your ride waiting for you outside, with one of your friends driving and the other in the passenger seat, leaving you to sit in the back with another friend. You were happy with the seating arrangement, because at least you weren’t going to be the designated sober friend and you could drink as much as you pleased.

When you arrive at the club, almost immediately you’re hit with all the feelings you were looking to get. Instantly, you’re rushed with trashy sounding music, boosted so everyone can hear the amount of bass in the song, the pounding of people jumping around and all of their voices quickly merging into one, big cloud of sound. Perfect.

Before you know it, you have a drink in your hand, and before you know what happens next, you’re holding an empty cup. Shot glass after shot glass, you throw your head back to take every small, yet effective amount of alcohol your friends willingly provide for your whole party. That is, until everyone starts to disperse, leaving you alone dancing by yourself in what seems to be a mosh pit of people doing the exact same. Loose arms and wobbly legs hit your own, bumping into you and occasionally pulling on your hair, to which you immediately receive a slurred, ‘sorry!’ after. Unlike everyone else though, you’re not as drunk as you’d like to be. After all, you could still see reasonably well and didn’t have to hold onto anything to walk, but another trip to the bar would fix that right away.

As you’re making your way out of the surplus of people, you finally break free and manage to catch your breath, only for a short while.

That’s when you make eye contact with him. He isn’t exactly someone who you can see clearly, not from far away at least. He is hidden in the darkness of the club, only being illuminated by the strobe lights occasionally flickering now and then with the beat drops of the loud music booming in your ears, wrapped with mystery and alluring temptation. Even by just looking at him, you can tell he’s well off. His long hair is tied back into a low ponytail and he’s wearing a white shirt only buttoned up halfway with his long sleeves rolled up just above his elbows, dark pants that are secured with a similarly dark colored belt that shines along with the light, and a silver Breguet watch that glistens when the light touches it.

He’s irresistible. So irresistible, you don’t deny your body when it starts moving on its own, taking a few steps closer towards the mystery man, swaying your hips with your own charm, still managing to be nonchalant and confident at the same time. It doesn’t take long before he eyes you again, a smirk spreading across his lips seeing you drift closer and closer to him until finally, you’re close enough to actually see his face.

The man turns away as soon as you’re standing right next to him though, much to your dismay. It isn’t until then do you find yourself at the edge of the other bar in the club, clearly the fancier kind seeing as there’s not that many people around than on the dance floor or mingling elsewhere. It’s just you and him.

You bite your lip and sit down, leaning into the counter and pressing your chest up against the cold surface, politely waving down the bartender who comes rushing to your aid as soon as he sees you. He takes down your order and toddles off to make it, pouring all the ingredients in and shaking your drink in his metal bottle. That’s when you take your chance and look at the guy again, tilting your head down.

The bartender hands you your drink and you easily gulp it down, not satisfied with the effects yet. So you ask for a few vodka shots in hopes to get to where you need to be, and thankfully it works. Now, with a good amount of alcohol in your system, you start to feel that estranged buzz jerking through your body, giving you the confidence you need to

With a few drinks down already, the electrifying buzz starts to come into effect, granting you more confidence that you thought you already had to tap the man’s shoulder. Despite your vision blurring, you lean against your palm and smile. “Hi~ It’s nice to meet you. I’m Y/n-“

When he finally turns around, revealing his face, your blood runs cold. In sheer disbelief, you instantly lurch back. The sight sobers you up immediately.

“KOKUSHIBO?!” A hand flies to your mouth, “What the hell are you doing here?! Did you—did you follow me?”

Now you had wished you’d come to your senses earlier. From across the room, all you saw was a tall man with long hair and a drink in his hand, but there was a small—now loud—voice in your head that said you should’ve waited before sitting down next to him. You wanted to slam your head into the counter for being so reckless.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/n.” Your bodyguard lets out a lowly chuckle and rests the bottom of his drink down onto the counter. “I knew you would get yourself into trouble so I had to come too, you know that. It’s also nice to prove that without my supervision, you’d walk up to anyone and—from what I can only assume—sleep with them. Am I right?” Although his eyes are dark, you can’t seem to ignore the very subtle, flirty tone in his voice. Almost as if he were teasing you.

“Don’t fuck with me! You followed me, Kokushibo. And it’s because you don’t trust me. I told you what was going to happen but I guess I just can’t be alone for one single fucking night!” You groan and hide your face with your hands, “I seriously thought you’d let me off the hook for just this once…”

Kokushibo’s eyes fixate on yours, “Don’t be like that, it’s my job, Y/n.”

“It’s not your job to make me feel suffocated, it’s your job to make me feel safe. And I do not feel safe knowing you’re watching my every move.” You fold your leg on top of the other and lean forward, pressing closer to him. As much as you hate him right now, you have to admit there’s something about his presence that makes you feel at ease, especially at a club of intoxicated and possibly dangerous people. Of course, Kokushibo takes note of it and hides his small grin.

“Y/n, it sounds like you feel safe with me,” Your bodyguard leans forward and touches your thigh delicately, “You don’t actually hate what I do, you’re just bad at telling me those things. Maybe, you even think this job of mine is something you tolerate?” Kokushibo’s voice is low and melodic. It draws you in nearly instantly, forcing you to nod as there seems to be no other choice to do. Kokushibo leans in closer and raises his brows slightly, eyes closing in onto yours and you refuse to look away. You always knew he was attractive, anyone could tell you that, but when did he become irresistible?

You gulp down some much needed air, staring at him with wide eyes and a trembling mouth, unable to form any words only hoping that your expression can tell him what you wanted to say. Those three words that would finally admit your feelings for him. But instead, you take a chance, and his leg in your own hands, quickly rushing to close the gap between his face.

In a flash, the space between your heads is removed and your lips catch his. Your mouth is cushioned by his thin, usually stoic smile, that quickly sears hot with what you can only assume is embarrassment. You can even feel a similar heat spread all over your face. But to your surprise, Kokushibo doesn’t pull away. The overwhelming sensations become too much to bear, however, so you pull away and gasp, ripping your lips from his.

Kokushibo blinks rapidly, almost dumbfounded at what you had just done, and looks at you with his finger curled over his lips in a flushed shock. The realization hits you like a truck that there was a small possibility that you misinterpreted a few signs along the way, that maybe now you fumbled so hard into Kokushibo that you weren’t ever going to be taken seriously ever again—or worse—ever going to see him again. You back away.

"Oh. Oh my God. Kokushibo, I am so. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I don’t even know what I was thinking I just—” You try and stammer to make sense of yourself, but even you don’t know what you want to say. Instead, you stare at Kokushibo in hopes he’d understand.

But he doesn’t say anything. There’s not even a transition between now and when Kokushibo pulls you back into his chest, now sitting you onto his waist. The world disappears just as soon as it appears, and you’re kissing him again. And again. And again. You feel him stand up and the way his hands snake around your hips to hold you up and notice how he even tugs down the sides of your dress so you don’t accidentally reveal anything he wouldn’t want anyone to see.

The walk, if you can even call it that, to a more private area is all a hazy blur. One second you open your eyes to see people dancing and the next, you’re against a wall in a busy hallway. No time is wasted since Kokushibo was doing all the work, all while handling your weight in its entirety with the sheer strength of his hips and slight hold of his arm up your back. The rest he does blindly.

When you open your eyes to catch a glimpse of his face, you realize that now you’re in a different hallway, one still as dark and hidden away as the rest, so no one can walk by and see you two. You crane your neck up to meet Kokushibo’s sultry, yellow eyes as he lets out a raspy groan.

“Fuck...Y/n,” You can tell he’s annoyed but holding back for your sake, “Why did you have to go and do that? I can’t...I can’t...why did you...dammit.” Kokushibo looks away to the side so you can only see the sharpness of his cutting jawline, checking his surroundings. It isn’t until now that you can see how red he is. His ears, his cheeks, his nose, his entire face, all glowing pink. Could it be?

“Kokushibo, did you like the kiss?” The question burns on your tongue.

He struggles to defend himself with a stern, “No. I can’t like it. So just, I’ll drive you back but you can’t ever talk about this.” That’s an order, you know all too well, but you continue to press him for answers. You know Kokushibo is strict, but you know he can’t resist you, and right now there’s a fire burning inside of you that you’ve never felt before, and you only want to make it burn more.

Lifting your leg, you flash a small grin up at Kokushibo who has a firm hand planted beside your head, guarding your face from anybody walking by. You do it slowly, but eventually, you start moving your dress so that his eyes draw to what you’re desperately trying to show him.

“You’re so mean and uptight, Kokushibo...always following the rules and making sure I don’t get into trouble,” You lift your leg more, exposing more of your skin past regions he shouldn’t be looking, “Kokushibo, I came here to feel seen for my body and have a little fun,” You peel your dress back and reveal a pair of dark, lacey panties that match your dress to a T, “Would it kill you to do the same?”

No, it would not.

Like a man possessed, Kokushibo hungrily catches your mouth with his and kisses you roughly. With the sudden collision, his teeth knock against yours but the pain quickly subsides as soon as you feel the softness of his tongue glide into your mouth. But his lips are soft, and so are his hands as they trace lines up the back of your neck to bend your head back, allowing for a better position for Kokushibo to kiss you deeper. You want to say something, but the words quickly fizz away as soon as Kokushibo starts to breathe heavier. Almost on instinct, you feel your body roll against his. That’s when you feel a hardness you know well growing inside of his pants, which only makes your movements a thousand times more heated.

Kokushibo groans into your mouth and cups the side of your face with his hand and breaks the kiss suddenly to gasp for air, which you do the same.

“Fuck, Y/n, what are we doing?” He whispers, panting hot air against the side of your sticky neck, “What are you doing? Have you always wanted to do this? Fuck your body guard? What does this say about you...”

You bite your lip and lower your gaze down to his belt, “This is payback for losing my trust. This,” you look in his eyes, “Is how you’re going to get it back.” You kiss him again, only this time harder, which catches him off guard but not for long.

From the very start, Kokushibo was holding back. Not anymore. Now, Kokushibo has no control. Watching you fall apart completely from just his touch sends shocks throughout his body, seeing each twitch, each spasm, each jerk, turns him into a stranger to himself. A deprived, starving stranger.

His own hands are the ones to rip your dress from the top clean down the middle, tearing the black fabric easily with a small tug as he unwraps you like you were a gift to him all along. Kokushibo’s careful with not tearing anything else, though. Once your body is free from the skin tight dress, Kokushibo stares at your chest and thighs, now fully exposed to him. You can’t help but feel a bit shy under his heated gaze, but he doesn’t give you a chance to hide away from him.

Kokushibo pulls his shirt off in a hurry, unbuttoning every button he had on and practically throws it off his burly shoulders, diving right back into your lips, meeting your mouth with a feverish, eager tongue. You can’t even think. You knew he was assertive, it’s in his nature, but you’d rarely think about what Kokushibo was like outside of working for you. Was he secretly kind? Did he go to school? What color was his favorite? Even with his mouth on yours, you realize that you don’t even know anything about him, but he knows practically everything about you.

He even had tabs on your internet history, which was something you always meant to bring up with him but never did. So, yeah, everything.

“Kokushibo-” You gasp out his name, feeling his hard, yet strangely smooth hand roll up your stomach, thumbs pressing into your skin as they search for all the weak points he knows you have.

Kokushibo stops for a moment to admire all of the exposed parts of your body. Even though he’s been around long enough to where you’d feel comfortable changing around him, Kokushibo never had the chance to fully look at your torso. Doing so was sinful in his mind before, but now it hardly mattered what he was looking at. It’s the fact that you make his thoughts run rampant, screaming at him to do anything to mark up your untainted and pure skin.

“Please don’t make me ask for you to touch me...I give you full permission to do whatever you want to me, just don’t make me wait, Kokushibo.” Your arms swing around his neck, “I really just need you to touch me.”

Thankfully, Kokushibo obliges. With a soft hand, he finds the bottom of your thigh and starts rubbing, searching for the waistline of your underwear, all while smirking down at you. “You don’t have to beg, Y/n, I thought we knew I do things based on what I see fit. And I see desperation,” Kokushibo pants, “Yearning,” he grins, “And lust.”

For a moment, your eyes flash down to see your bodyguard’s hands pulling his belt loose from his waist, unbuckling the sterling silver latch and loosening his pants enough to reveal what was so hard against you earlier. You shiver at the sight of it. You always knew Kokushibo was big, that’s the whole reason why he was chosen for the job. If he was big enough for himself, he’d be big enough to protect you. Nothing about him was small. He had big hands, big hair, a big ego, and now that you find it out, even his dick was big. But that was to be expected.

What you didn’t expect, however, was how miserable it looked not being inside of you. Despite its length and girth, Kokushibo’s member was neat and clean, with thick veins running down the sides and a slightly red tip with just the slightest amount of cum leaking from the head, slicking over it and making it appear shiny under you. Looking at it, your body jerks and you look up at Kokushibo, who’s just staring down at his length with half a breath in his chest.

“I am desperate, Kokushibo.” Your legs tremble as your hand trails down between your legs, careful not to touch Kokushibo’s cock, and pull back your panties to the side, revealing your equally aching pussy to him. Just as you thought, you were soaked. Soaked even could be an understatement. Your pussy was dripping with slick pooling from all of the kissing, all the comments, and the sight of your ‘scary’ bodyguard now so horribly drunk in love. “But you didn’t pay attention to me, so what was I supposed to do? Wait?” You slide your fingers in between your cunt and start rubbing into your heat slowly.

Kokushibo pants louder, “Fuck...”

“Come on, Kokushibo, you know me. Do I like to wait?” You keep rubbing. Despite the sounds around you, all you both can hear are the wet, sloppy sounds echoing, making it impossible to ignore it.

He shakes his head silently, thinking that would be a satisfactory smile, and keeps his eyes on your hand.

“Do I?” You let your jaw hang open and that’s when he finally understands.

“No, you don’t.” Huskily, he says.

Everything was silent now.

With that, Kokushibo doesn’t allow you any chance to process when your hand is ripped from your slit and replaced by the head of Kokushibo’s twitching member pushing against you. He doesn’t give you time to move or adjust, as you don’t like waiting, Kokushibo adheres to that wish and enters your needy pussy. The darkness had actually hid his length relatively well, so it seemed like you could take him easily, but what you learned was that you couldn’t, and he was far too big to slam into you right away. Tears prick your eyes as your nails hungrily bite into his back, mouth hanging open and chanting his name like a prayer to not die right then and there. 

“Kokushibo! W-Wait! FUCK!” You cry out. Anyone that heard you was their fault at this point, you didn’t care, you had to make noise. “Kokushibo!”

Your bodyguard ignores your pleas and thrusts inside of you again and again, slamming deep inside of you with your pussy drooling all over his stiff cock. Your cunt starts to throb almost instantly now that he’s all the way in, but it still tries to reject his size and slowly starts to push him out, but Kokushibo grabs your hips and forces your pussy to swallow him whole. You continue to cry out at the pain, wishing he’d at least take you gently, but Kokushibo was anything but gentle. 

Going along with the rhythm of your gasps and shrills, Kokushibo fucks your walls unapologetically, muttering as best as he could into your ears while trying to catch his breath himself. “You’re so fucking tight, Y/n. Fuck, you like that? Keep your eyes on me. Make as much noise as you want, I want to hear it. I want to hear how badly you wanted to fuck me, your body guard.” His voice was growing thicker by the second to the point it sounded like it was coming straight from his gut. It doesn't even matter, nothing matters but feeling Kokushibo quickening his speed and deepening his cock into your core. 

You cling onto his back and arch your back, pressing your body against him. You want to say something to him, but the words don't come out. How can they? How can you even form a single thought when Kokushibo is rocking into you with all of his pent up tension running inside of his body, only slowing down when you cry louder, but even then he has the chance to speed up and takes it a few times. 

Almost as if you thought you’d never get used to it, the pain subsides to a more enjoyable pain that makes your eyes roll back with pleasure. Now you were able to focus. Now, you could feel the way Kokushibo cupped your ass in his hands, how tightly he held you, and how your stomach fluttered every time he rolled his hips into yours. You grasp onto the roots of his burgundy frosted hair and latch onto his lips hungrily, to which he gladly accepts and kisses you back twice as hard. 

“You always go too far, and you don't expect me to go all out? How is that fair, Y/n?” He thrusts harder with each word, groaning into your open mouth as your walls clamp around his dick, gasping his name. You can feel his cock sink inside of you deeper, twitching inside of you every chance it gets, making it hard to ignore the growing, twisting feeling inside of your stomach that starts to swirl into knots and very quickly starts to unravel. You knew what was going to happen next, and by the way Kokushibo squeezed your body closer to his, you can tell he was close too. Fucking your bodyguard was something you'd always hoped would happen, but you didn't know it would come sooner than later. Beads of sweat start to form on Kokushibo’s face and arms as he huffs more onto your well damp skin, just trying not to lose composure before you do. 

“K-Kokushibo…I-I can't, I need to,” You cry out and claw into his back again, “Y-You're not being fair to me! How can you! MGH!” He cuts you off by placing his mouth on yours before abruptly pulling away. 

“Y/n, shh.” He hushes you and kisses you again, closing his eyes tightly, “Fuck, fuck why do you feel so good. I shouldn't enjoy this as much as I am…and yet…What did you do to me?” His cock pumps inside of you more sloppily now, dipping into your core. All he can hear are your breathy moans and the way his dick messily slaps into your hips. It drives him wild. 

“I’m gonna cum,” You murmured into his ear, “Kokushibo I’m sorry, I'm sorry for everything and treating you like shit and ignoring you and getting mad at you. Please please please! I'm gonna cum!” 

Kokushibo returns to silence and doesn't let up, keeping his pace quick, deep, and efficient. The steadiness of his thrusts builds up until finally, your walls tighten all around him more than they ever had before, which was all Kokushibo needed to finally release. You tip your head back and so does Kokushibo as you both simultaneously stop moving all together, gasping and twitching feeling Kokushibo’s load burst inside of your sore cunt. For what feels like forever, your bodyguard’s cock pulsates, leaping while still being stuffed inside, spurting his warm, gooey, white liquid against your walls and filling you up to the point where you can feel a good amount leak outside down your legs. You tremble and pick your head back up with your chest heaving, looking at Kokushibo as he looks just as tired as you, if not more dazed. 

“Hah…hah…oh my God…” You pant, leaning against him with a soft smile across your face. It didn't matter if either of you smelled like sex, or looked as though you'd just ran miles, Kokushibo looks back at you with an equally satisfied grin, but he doesn't speak, clearly too concentrated on the aftershock of fucking his assignment as hard as he possibly could. You couldn't stand or feel your legs, but again, that didn't matter. 

His eyes fixate on your legs and soon enough, he gently moves himself so that you're no longer attached to him, noticing the way his cock springs free and is still throbbing, wet with slick and cum leaking from the tip. Kokushibo glances at you and swallows. 

“We should head home, Y/n, you've caused enough trouble here.” He lets out a sigh and stuffs his dick back into his pants, jumping a bit to fully dress himself back up. Without being asked, Kokushibo fixes your panties and hides your body as best as he can, and picks you up in his arms so that your body isn't exposed. “I'll walk you back. No need for a car, I don't need anyone else seeing you like this.”

[some-triangles]

I am now at a level of obsession with Disco Elysium where I am watching at least a little bit of every playthrough I come across. Last time this happened was with Undertale almost a decade ago. With UT this helped me get a very thorough handle on the way the game was designed and with the subtler bits of player manipulation. DE is not subtle about anything and so instead I'm getting insights into the people playing it, particularly as it spreads beyond the youtube leftist bubble.

The one I'm having the most fun with right now is by this guy named Brady, who is a therapist specializing in addiction. The fun part is not so much his insight into Harry as an addict - again, the game is not subtle - but his absolute discomfort with politics. He refuses to engage with any of the ideological choices, and that makes the game a bit of a bumpy ride for him. It's particularly striking because he's willing to read into everything else that goes on in Harry's brain - he breaks out his Johari windows and his CBT flowcharts and pins the butterfly right to the corkboard - but he shuts down when the game asks him to pick a side.

To extrapolate wildly from one dude's hangups, I think this is just part of the deal with therapy. The aim of a therapist is to make the subject more functional (particularly these days, when if you're lucky insurance will pay for ten sessions, and you better document exactly what worksheets you made your patients fill out) - and being functional means being able to be happy and productive in the society you're currently living in. If I go to a therapist and say I'm bummed out about all the murdering my government is doing they will suggest I stop watching the news, or, if I'm lucky, they'll try to help me figure out why I feel guilt about things I can't control. Delving into the whys and hows of said murdering is actively counterproductive.

This is not to say that therapy is inherently bad, or, like, counterrevolutionary, because making you a more functional person does help with a lot of things, including your ability to help others. It's just a useful thing to keep in mind when therapy and politics bump into each other. I read this paper when I was googling ABA for podcast reasons and it stuck with me. The thesis boils down to: because the world is imperfect and people need skills to live in it we should continue to torture children, and we don't have enough research to conclude that torture could be traumatic. This is on one level reasonable and on one level insane. It depends where you stand, and whether you think "ability to express affection towards parents" is worth that kind of intervention. But the authors wouldn't construe this as a political argument.

Anyway: with all this in mind, I very much recommend reading "The Saint of Bright Doors", which we will be covering on wizards vs lesbians soon.

[babyboydaniel]

Knock, Knock (M) | Part 4

Daniel Ricciardo x Fem!Reader | Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lando really needs to learn how to knock.

Smut, Fluff | Warnings: 18+, Fingering, Oral (Female Receiving) | Word Count: 2.1K

Daniel was still staring at you. Those deep, warm eyes willing you to confess everything to him. However, the tiny restaurant was not the time or place to get into it. 

“Umm,” you cleared your throat. 

“Are you two ready for the check?” the waitress interrupted, cutting through the tension that hung in the air. 

“Yes, please,” Daniel confirmed. 

You sat in silence while waiting for Daniel to pay. Though the thoughts in your head were loud, practically screaming. Your love for Daniel was undeniable, and he was the most important person in your life. Then there was the guilt. The guilt you felt for being so attracted to Lando and that you let things get so out of hand so quickly. If you ever hurt Daniel because you could not keep your desires in check, you would never forgive yourself. 

“Let’s go,” Daniel prompted, pulling you from your thoughts. 

With a nod, you stood and followed him from the restaurant. 

Daniel did not try to continue the conversation in the car. Thankfully, it was too claustrophobic for that discussion. 

When you had made your way back to your hotel room, Daniel immediately made his way into the bathroom. Still, nothing was said by either of you. 

You threw yourself onto the bed with a sigh, waiting for Daniel to finish up. As you lay there, you tried to figure out what you were going to say. How do you tell your boyfriend that his good friend and teammate watched you masturbate? Or that he could not keep his hands to himself and you cannot find it in yourself to deny him? Or that you witnessed Lando coming all over himself? It was not something that was easy to confess.

You heard the door open as Daniel walked from the bathroom. He stripped down to his figure-hugging underwear. The expanse of exposed skin made your mouth water. You wanted to sink your teeth into his neck and thighs and pull on his hair. You wanted to hear him moan. But you also just wanted to be close to him. To have him hold you and tell you how much he loved you. 

Daniel made his way to his suitcase, pulling out a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before getting dressed with his back turned to you. When he turned around, his expression said everything that it did not at the restaurant. 

“So, you were saying,” Daniel said. He stood over the bed, looking down at you. His arms crossed and his eyes ablaze.

You gulped, looking down at your lap. 

“Eyes up here,” he commanded. 

You returned your gaze to his. Your heart fluttered and your stomach was in knots. 

“I’m waiting.”

“Daniel, I am going to be honest. I don't even know where to start,” you mumbled. 

Daniel moved to sit on the edge of the bed. You could feel the heat of his body, which brought you a smidge of comfort despite the topic of conversation. 

“Well, it started with what happened yesterday. You were gone, and I was horny, and I just needed you. So, instead of waiting for you to come back, I touched myself in your driver's room,” you paused as you heard Daniel suck in a breath, “I should have waited until we were back here, but Lando happened to walk in. I do not know how long he stood there, but he saw everything.”

As you continued to stare into Daniel’s eyes, you could not decipher his expression. 

“Anything else?” he asked tightly. 

You flinched at his tone. You knew that you were going to have to come clean about everything. 

“Umm, well, then he came over and stuck my fingers in his mouth. I told him that he needed to get out and that I was with you. But, that only egged him on more, grabbing me and telling me that he wanted a taste ‘directly from the source’ next time before he left.”

At this point, Daniel almost looked intrigued. But there was no way. If there was one thing that you knew about Daniel, it was that he was a bit possessive of what is his. Especially when it came to you, he did not like to share you with others. So, you were certain that he was going to break up with you over this. 

“That all?” Daniel asked. 

You shook your head and continued to tell him about all the other Lando Norris instances. As you confessed every minute detail, Daniel’s gaze got more and more heated. His fingers began to twitch, and his eyes trailed your body.

Once finished, Daniel let out a breath that seemed like he was holding in and ran a hand through his hair.

Waiting for Daniel to finally say something was torture. 

“Lando is a menace, and he should be taught a lesson,” Daniel said. 

“You are not upset?” you asked, confused. 

“Oh, baby, I am seething. Lando touched what is mine without asking permission. He needs a reminder of who you belong to,” Daniel said matter-of-factly. 

Before you could react, Daniel was in between your legs. His mouth was hovering over your covered core. His hot breath fanned over your heated skin. He gently kissed the soft skin of your inner thighs. Inching his way closer and closer to your core, his nose nudging your clit before trailing his tongue up the fabric that prevented him from fully tasting you.

You whined as your fingers got lost in his hair, confused by his reaction but not having the capacity to stop and question it.  

Daniel pulled back to look at you, his warm doe eyes were a stark contrast to the unholy acts he was about to commit. 

“Baby, do you mind if I record us?” Daniel asked softly. 

Your mouth hung open, “Fuck, yeah,” you quickly agreed. 

Flashing you a smile, Daniel hopped from the bed to set up his phone on the desk next to the bed, making sure you were in frame before pressing record and returning between your legs. 

“Let’s get these off of you,” Daniel whispered as he pulled your underwear down your legs. 

You threw off your dress and unclasped your bra, laying back down completely naked. Just the thought of your being so exposed to the camera made you wet. 

Daniel gripped your thighs, his blunt fingernails dug into your flesh, “You are so wet for me, baby,” he groaned, “so beautiful.” 

Daniel delicately ran his tongue up your dripping folds. Teasing you as he skimmed over your clit, drawing out frustrated moans from your lips. You tried to press your hips to his face, encouraging him to touch you exactly where you wanted. But, Daniels' hold on your legs prevented you from chasing after the pleasure. 

Daniel chuckled as he pulled away. “You take what I give you,” he said.

With an annoyed humph, you sagged back against the bed. Quickly, Daniel’s mouth was back on you. Diving in, licking up your juices as they spilled from you, and his nose pressed to your clit. He ate you out like he was trying to prove a point. Like he was trying to press himself into the most intimate parts of your body, claiming you as his. 

The pleasure was all-consuming; all your thoughts were full of Daniel. Your fingers found their way back into his hair. Yanking on his curls as your orgasm was fast approaching. 

“Fuck, Daniel,” you moaned. 

Daniel pulled his mouth from your body; you cried out in frustration. But, his fingers soon replaced his mouth, plunging deep into your slick pussy. 

“Who do you belong to?” Daniel asked while his fingers pumped into your heat. 

When you did not immediately respond, Daniel slapped your pussy. You whined, trying not to be taken under by the orgasmic pleasure. 

“I am not going to ask again, who do you belong to?”

“You, Daniel. Only you,” you cried. 

Pleased with your answer, Daniel put his mouth back where you wanted it most. Sucking and gently biting your clit while his fingers were still buried deep in you. Curling in that way delicious that made it hard to breathe. He was unrelenting. Not giving you a second to catch your breath as he brought you closer. 

“Danny, I am going to come. I am so close.”

Daniel looked up at you with his molten eyes, his lips still resting on your skin as he asked, “Mmm, who is the only one to make you feel this good?”

“You.”

“Gosh, baby, you taste so good,” flicking his tongue out to lick up the wetness that leaked from you. 

You moaned. 

“You want to come? Who is the one that gets to watch you fall apart?”

“You, Danny. I am yours—all yours,” you cried, clenching around Daniel’s fingers. You were unsure how long you could hold off your orgasm. 

“Come for me, baby,” he stated before swiftly returning his mouth to your clit. 

With Daniel’s approval, you let go. Your back arched as you pressed against Daniel’s touch. Coming with such force you release over Daniel’s face. The wet sounds of his mouth drinking up your juices filled the otherwise silent room. As you become too sensitive Daniel pulled back from you. Looking up at you from in between your legs. His face was wet with you, so beautiful, you were sure your heart skipped a beat. 

He placed a gentle kiss between your legs before getting up and pressing stop on his phone. You were so into the pleasure that you forgot that he took a video of the two of you. 

“Whatcha plan on doing with that video?” you asked Daniel as he curled up next to you on the bed. 

“I just sent it to Lando,” he said nonchalantly. 

“You what?” you shrieked. 

“He needed to learn a lesson. That you and your pussy are mine and that he should not touch what isn’t his.”

You groaned as you relaxed deeper into his arms. Daniel thought that the video was going to deter Lando but you had a different opinion. You were worried it was just going to make things worse. 

***

The following day when you ran into Lando with Daniel he did not quite meet your eyes, and his cheeks were flushed a deep red. Maybe Daniel was right. 

“Good morning, Lando,” Daniel greeted with a smug look. 

Lando cleared his throat, “Good morning.”

He shifted his weight, the tips of his ears bright red, and his lip tucked between his teeth. Just looking at him ignited a fire in your stomach. He looked so innocent, so different than the cocky confidence that you witnessed the last couple of days. 

“Have a good night?” Daniel asked. 

“Yeah, you?” Lando responded almost breathlessly. 

Daniel chuckled as the hand that rested on your hip moved to hover over your core, pulling you flush against his body. You gasped. You were sure your face was the same color as Lando’s. 

“Now Lando, we both know that I did,” Daniel stated matter of factly. 

The noise that left Lando’s mouth was indecent. Lando’s eyes met yours for the first time since this heated conversation began. The desire that he once kept hidden in front of Daniel was obvious as he ran his gaze down the length of your body, lingering at the spot between your legs that still had Daniel’s hand resting there. You were dripping. 

“Well, we should be going,” Daniel cut through the silence. 

Lando nodded. 

“Now, baby, why don’t you give Lando a hug goodbye?” Daniel encouraged an edge of humor to his voice. He was enjoying making Lando squirm. 

Daniel let you go and you closed the short distance until you were standing in front of Lando. You met his eyes before leaning in and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, plastering your body against his. Lando hesitantly wrapped his arms around your waist. As his body met yours, you could feel how hard Lando was. The images of his cock in his hands flashed through your mind.

“Fuck, Lando,” you whispered.

Then he was stepping back from you. Eyes cast towards the floor. 

With a quick ‘bye’ he was gone. Daniel grabbed your waist as you made your way to his room. 

“You did not have to tease him like that, Danny,” you said as he opened the door. 

“Trust me, he more than liked it,” Daniel laughed. 

And you could not argue with him about that, you could still feel his cock pressed to your stomach. 

***

Later that day when Daniel and Lando qualified P4 and P5 respectively, you could not have been more proud of the boys in papaya. 

Watching from your place in the garage, you saw Daniel bring Lando in for a hug and congratulations after they got out of their cars. 

You could not stop the heat that radiated throughout your body as you watched them interact. The need to have both of them was all-consuming. It was unlike anything you ever experienced. You were in trouble.

Part 3 | Part 5

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Do You Need to Know About Your Love Life Right Now?

Hello beautiful people. The topic of today's reading will be about love! This is my first PAC love reading that is features photos of the Queen of Love Songs herself, cause why not? I try to vary in topics so that I can deliver diversity amongst my reading topics. I do offer personal love readings as well as financial, career, education, general and readings about the other relationships in your life. Without further ado, please choose the image of Beyoncé that resonates with you that resonates with you.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):

Pile 1: Pile One, you’re down bad, girl! I feel like this pile is in a monogamous relationship right now and you may be scared of what is to come. I feel like this relationship is new. This could be your first serious relationship that you’ve been in. And because of this, you feel afraid to mess anything up. Basically, you have high standards for this and don’t want it to end. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. It’s common. But you need to be exerting this passionate energy into other things as well. Your relationship will only fail if you stop putting effort into it. So please… relax. Also, please stop letting any other failed attempts of relationships that you’ve had in the past affect your future. I don’t know why you let this happen but you are not the same person you were then. You have different boundaries and a different sense of self so please go easy on yourself, my love! You are not going to fail, boo. Just keep on moving with your boo! And lastly, ease into this whole exclusivity thing. Don’t rush it. You don’t have to expose your relationship to the public just yet. Do everything when your body feels it is right.

Cards Used: Temperance, Ace of Cups, Ace of Discs, 2 of Swords, Princess of Wands, 6 of Discs, 5 of Cups.

extras: dramatic. singer-songwriter. poet. dimples. big curly hair. big heart.

Pile 2: Pile Two, you’re quite the cocky one, aren’t you? I feel like this pile is someone that’s really guarded with their heart. You don’t seem to be easily trusting of others in general. I think you’re really focused on making stuff happen in terms of climbing the social ladder and congratulations to you! I feel like you have been tending to yourself, which is great. I’m sensing the energy of an ex. You let go of this crappy ex and everything has gotten significantly better. I’m getting big air sign energy from this pile, some real brainiacs are here lol. I feel like you should continue to focus on pursuing your personal goals and someone needs to here this: Go get your toes done! You’ve been doing an excellent job of calling the shots and exercising your throat chakra. You are not obligated to stay in anyone’s life in order to help them get their shit together so if someone makes you feel guilty for doing so, then fuck them! Pile Two, you owe yourself loyalty for sure. Please give it to yourself. Be generous towards yourself.

Cards Used: 6 of Wands, The Magician, 5 of Wands, 8 of Cups, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Justice.

extras: megan thee stallion. rapper. un poco loco. ashley tisdale. donuts.

Pile 3: Pile Three, are you ready? I feel like you’ve been holding onto this very specific arrangement of love. You want to experience the magic of it all. However, it’s been a minute since you’ve been on the scene. I am getting some inexperience here. Maybe you’ve never really dated like that to begin with or it’s been a minute since you’ve gotten out there. I feel like there is actually someone on the horizon that you will come across. This could be someone that you work with or someone that you are already acquainted with. I think that this person would want to take you out on dates and do things the old fashioned way. They would be willing to do whatever you’d like but at the same time, they will take the lead. But in order for this, you have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s possible that you could also be divorced/widowed/distrusting of the dating scene (that’s completely understandable). But you need to listen to your gut, Pile Three. You will attract your person by keeping that vision pinned in the back of your mind, and I mean it.

Cards Used: 4 of Discs, The Lovers, The Chariot, 3 of Discs, The Hermit, 9 of DIscs.

extras: fresh prince of bel air. melanie barnett/”med school.” peaches. lint. seamstress.

Pile Four, someone’s getting some good good, but at what cost? Being in a sexual relationship with someone who does not share the same end goal as you is not as fun as you’ve been describing it. It was fun at first, but you know you want something more. So, why deny yourself the love that you want? I feel like you are putting in more energy than this person because you want something serious with them but you are not getting anything in return. Now you just feel drained and that sucks. You need to gather the strength to move past this person and put your sacral energy into something that matters. You will only continue to be disappointed because it is a one-sided connection. That person is stealing your energy whether you want to hear it or not. If you want better/more, then act like it. Know your worth, babe! There’s plenty of fish in the sea and there is plenty of fish that would want to wife you up.

Cards Used: The Devil, 9 of Cups, Princess of Cups, 8 of Wands, King of Wands, 4 of Cups, Strength, 5 of Discs, Prince of Discs.

extras: doormat. bald head. venus in the 12th house. argentina. frankenstein. black and white. southern belle. drones. washington d.c.

[wonderlandwalker]

Frozen Solid | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Your past is haunting you, but Finnick is there to remind you it's going to be okay

Content Warnings/Tags: Nightmares, trauma, ANGST, character death, happy ending though dw, hypothermia, mentions of violence

Word Count: 2.6k

Requested by Anon: Do you think you could do something fluffy with Finnick Odair x Víctor! Reader where the readers games were in the extreme cold and they say something like “I don’t think I’ll ever be warm again” to Finnick

A/N: Please send me more requests! I am dying to keep writing but I don't have any more ideas. Also my spell check keeps telling me it's 'realized' not 'realised' and now I'm doubting my entire knowledge of the English language. Did not read this after writing it so praying my brain worked properly

To say the games left you with issues would be an understatement. But this particular memory always seemed to keep haunting you. Maybe that was because this had happened before you taught yourself to close yourself off from your problems. Maybe it was because you hadn't figured out how to find closure yet.

Maybe it was because you were still afraid. Afraid of the tribute towering over you. Even though you weren't a kid that hadn't hit your grow spurt anymore. Even though you weren't that defenseless, innocent child anymore. The tribute was still bigger, and simply the memories made you feel powerless.

The familiar trees surrounded you, but they didn't make you feel safe like they used to before. A layer of snow covered the leaves like a warm blanket, except it was anything but. You were shivering, trembling, not sure which one. So you ran, your fight or flight instincts trying to contradict the memory

So you ran from the man who had said he would help you. You ran from your problem. You ran from your fear.

But it didn't work, it never did. You ran out of the forest, but before you even realized, you were right back inside. Every time you ran you just got stuck again. But they were all different spots. All the ones where you had camped for the night, all the places where you sat silently, too scared to light a fire to warm yourself, not willing to take the risk of eating any food that needed cooking. They all made their way into your imagination, but they all had one thing in common, they made you feel afraid. For most, you thought, childhood memories should resemble a sense of ease, of making you feel secure.

But that feeling had disappeared for you when you first entered the arena. You could still see it in front of you as if it was a crystal clear picture. Your platform had come to a stop, and at first, you were blinded by the light, the bright sun. Your mind had tricked you into thinking the sun meant warmth, and comfort. But when your eyes adjusted, and you saw the frozen lake you were placed over. You saw the cornucopia, on a frosted island in the middle. It had weapons and food, but most importantly, it had thick coats and fur blankets. You wonder sometimes if you should have gotten one, if it would have helped you, but the risk was too great, so once you heard the canon, you immediately ran in the opposite direction, for the forest behind you.

The first thing you did was look for a freshwater source, but everything, everything, was frozen. When you had become desperate, you had started to punch a hole into the thick ice. It took a long time before you broke through the surface, your hands weren't strong enough, but you didn't give up. There was a small crack, and it gave you hope to continue. When you had managed to get to the water, your knuckles were bleeding, and you could see bruises starting to form. But it didn't matter. You had done it. You cupped your hands into the water and felt the cold come over them once again. It was soothing, in a way. Your hands had become warm from the strain, but it was the first time you had felt any sense of warmth since you entered, so you were disappointed to lose it. 

You brought the water to your lips, and took a sip from it. You could feel it course through your body, and while it satisfied your thirst, it felt as if there was ice inside your veins. You had been cold up to now, but it was nothing compared to this. You could feel your insides losing temperature from the icy water.

You saw him walking your way, and even if you tried to forget, you could see his face in so many details. From his freckles that you had always admired to the dark look that filled his eyes as he came closer

You knew there was no use in running, but you still did, not wanting to confront him, having avoided doing so for as long as you can now remember. But all it did was pull you back into the forest. 

He came from the same district as you, he had said you reminded him of his little sister, and he had offered a pact. You still weren't sure why, you didn't have much to offer him. But now you guess it must have been his own memories, his own innocence wanting to help the girl that you made him think of, made him think there was still good left in him. And so you accepted, and in a way, you were grateful, because you never would have won without him, but the turmoil that stuck with you was heartbreaking. Maybe it would have been easier if it had all been over then.

He was still walking towards you, and even though he wasn't saying a word, you could tell what was going on inside his head. You could see it by the way he walked, how his arms stayed tightly next to his body. You could even hear him yelling at you in your head.

You walked backwards until you hit one of the trees. You started calling out for help, even though you were fully aware no one would come. There was no one else left. You screamed, asking for someone to help you, and the fear made your voice shiver. You knew it was the fear this time. Your body had stopped shaking from the cold after a few days. You had thought that was it, your body had given up, the cold finally having overpowered it.

You stood up, scrambling to your feet. For once, you felt warm again, you felt the blood dilating your vessels, but you knew better than to get hope. You have seen this. You had seen this in other tributes. Your body making a last attempt to warm you up, giving you a boost of power right before it would all be over. In a way you were grateful, it would finally be over. You didn't even want to win anymore, you just wanted to be warm. 

But your instincts still told you to run, and with the extra energy coursing through you, you did. 

You ran to the frozen lake, to where it had all begun, it was the only thing you could think of to go to. You ran, you ran until could no longer even feel your legs moving. He followed behind you, of course he did. He was close behind, but you were smaller, you were leaner, and you might not have as much stamina, but when it came to a fast sprint you could only just outrun him. You didn't even watch where you were going anymore. The more you ran, the colder you started to feel again. You wanted to stop, to not lose any more. To keep this little bit you had been given, but you weren't sure it would even stay if you did. 

The trees started to disappear, and before you knew it, you were on the lake. When you had first gotten here, the lake had seemed peaceful, tranquil. But now, it was nothing short of a battlefield. The bodies might have been taken away, but the blood still stained the ice, and the axes and spears still stuck out of it like weeds disturbing the carefully crafted landscape. 

You ran as far as your fleeting body could carry you. You felt it before you saw it. Ice freezing cold. This was it, this was the end. It wasn't a haven to be at peace, it was even colder than you had been. Your clothes were clinging to your body like the blankets of snow you had first noticed. Your hair was stuck to your forehead and your neck. 

You remember in the beginning, when you would run, and you would sweat. It was the first time you had carefully appreciated it in your life, the warm droplets gracing your skin. But not anymore, if your body even had the energy to sweat, it was cold, it stuck to you like the first rain of autumn. The brisk wind in combination only making you shiver more. 

So you opened your eyes, if this was the end you had hoped for, you didn't want it anymore. You opened your eyes and focused on your senses. You saw the lake, but it had risen. You had fallen in it. You looked around you and saw the cracks in the frozen surface. 

The fights, the violence, it hadn't just taken a toll on you. The ice was suffering just as much. It was hard to see from the snow that covered it, but from where you were, you could see it from the footsteps that had disturbed it. You looked behind you, and you saw him again. He had seen you fall in, and halted. You could see relief come over him. Relief that he wouldn't be the one to have to kill you, that the water would do it for him. You almost felt bad for him, he hadn't wanted any of this either. And if you had been in his situation, you weren't sure you wouldn't have done the same thing. 

But the water was your friend, at least it used to be. 

In your district, you grew up surrounded by it. Going to the sea in the summer, swimming until the sun went down. You remember you used to get so cold when it disappeared and you were left on the beach alone. But now you longed for it. 

So you swam, you swam until you felt your hands meet the solid surface of ice again. You had been light before you came here, the lack of food taking a toll on everyone you know, but it was worse now. The only thing you knew how to get was fish. You knew how to fish, but anything else you had counted on was not there. There were no berries on trees, there were no plants that could survive in this environment. And so your frame had become even slimmer. Your arms were trembling as you tried to lift yourself. You weren't sure if you would manage. This couldn't be the end. If it ended like this, your body would float away in the water like the ice that was floating on it, and you would always be cold. 

With a surge of motivation, you lifted yourself onto the surface and as soon as you did you fell down on your back. You looked up, thinking you had done it, you could rest now. You looked up at the sky, the sun was there, but you didn't trust it anymore. 

You heard something else move, and it made your head snap up. He was still there. 

He considered his steps, he couldn't reach you from where he was. But it was just the two of you, and something had to give. So he walked around the hole you had fallen into. He traced around it. He stood in the footsteps that had already been placed in the snow. 

But you didn't care anymore. You had gotten yourself out of the water, and you laid your head back down, looking back at the sun. Trying to recall the memories it held. But you couldn't feel it anymore, you couldn't feel the radiating heat. So you made peace with being cold, at least it would be over soon. 

If he had left you be, your body probably would have given up before his did. But he wanted it to be over too, he didn't want to wait any longer. He took another step, and you could hear the crack that echoed through the empty space. You looked at him, and you saw him realising his mistake as it happened. The footsteps had looked like a path, but really, they were weak spots. The steps had caused the ice strain, and it had decided it had had enough.

The cracking sound continued, until you could see the ice start to get lopsided. It started to slide towards the open water you had fallen into. You could see his eyes plead, he had convinced himself he had already won, and he was watching all his hopes disappear with one shift of snow. He fell in the water, but he wasn't friends with it. He trashed and tried to move forward, but his body was too broad, and all it did was exhaust him further. You wanted to reach out for him, to help him. You knew the cold that engulfed the water and you didn't want him to die that way. But all it would do was drag you in with him, and you found yourself watching. You watched him as his head sank under, you kept watching as if he'd come back out. You watched until you heard the last canon. 

It made you feel even colder. You thought it was over. But you could feel your heart stop, it didn't stop beating, it stopped giving you warmth. The last piece you had, had sunken down with him. Your head was filled with panic. You would never feel warm again, you don't think your body knew how to anymore, and your mind was too frozen over to even try. And just as you felt your heart slow down, just as you thought you would die in this permanent state of despair, you heard a voice calling out to you

It sounded familiar, but you couldn't place it. It felt like a star calling to you, telling you to follow it into the sky, to fly, to be free, free of this fear.

It told you to wake up.

Before you knew it the smell of pine left you, being replaced with a mix of sea salt and jasmine, it smelt like home

You felt someone shaking you lightly, and you realised the smell wasn't bound to your surroundings, but the person that was next to you.

"Sweetheart, you need to wake up, you keep shaking." He told you in a sleepy, but still gentle voice.

As you started to get a better concept of your environment, you realised that in your distraught state, you had woken him up.

"I didn't mean to wake you I'm sorry, I know you haven't been sleeping well lately." You said, guilt already entering your mind.

"Hey, look at me, don't you dare apologise" He looked at you as if your worry pained him, and you couldn't stop the next words from leaving you.

"I'm scared I'll never be warm again Finnick" You started to cry, and he took you into his arms.

"If you're having nightmares, I will stay up with you until the sun rises again." He smiled down at you. And that's when you realized, he wasn't a star in the sky, he was the sun, he was your sun. His smile warmed you, and his arms around you made you believe again. He was your sun, and as long as you had him, he would warm you.

[creedslove]

WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Do it for Him | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and your husband can't conceive but you will do everything in your power to make it possible to pacify his father's wishes. Little did you know your father in law is a little too willing to help. Pairing: fem!reader x Father in Law Jungkook Word Count: 2.8k Warnings: Yändere, and manipulation into cheating and explicit language. a/n: This is my first time writing something like this so I'm not really sure how I did. There's gonna be a part two for sure so this is more like the introduction part of the Yandere aspect and setting up the plot. And a special thanks to @coralmusicblaze for the request <3

"Wait please, let's talk about this" I say running down the stairs after my husband. "You heard the doctor yourself, we can't have children" he rushes to say but decides to stop in his tracks, his back to me still. "They didn't say we can't, they just said it would be more difficult. There are still options available to us" I say hoping to reassure him. 

"First I'm a shit son for wanting to marry someone I love instead of marrying for money" he says bitterly looking towards me. "A now I'm an even worse son because I can't 'continue the family line' so his corporate empire can continue or whatever the fuck he talks about" he says as he continues to beat himself up about something that isn't even his fault. 

"We'll work through this. We can keep trying and we will continue going to the doctor to see if they can help as well okay?" I say rubbing his arm. "It'll all be okay as long as we stick together" I say holding the side of his face softly encouraging him to look at me. "Okay?" I question, waiting for his agreement. 

He looks in my eyes, seeing my dedication to him and he nods his head, whispering a quick okay before placing a soft kiss on my lips. "Everything will work out, I promise" I say wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close to me and he returns it right away, holding me in a firm embrace until the car pulls around, the driver opening the door for us.

"Where are we going?" I ask, seeing that we've missed the turn to go home. "We have to go tell my parents" he says with a clenched jaw. "What? Now? We only just found out, shouldn't we at least take some time to think about this?" I ask concerned with what might happen if we tell them while he's still in a vulnerable state of mind. "I would rather just get it over with so they won't pester us about it anymore. Let's just tell them that we're having trouble conceiving and we're going to go to a doctor to see if they can help. That way the blame can't be put on either of us" he reasons and I nod my head in agreement. 

"Hey" he says grabbing my hand making me look up at him. "You know I love you right?" he says and runs his thumb along my knuckles. I nod my head and give him a tight lipped smile, putting up a strong front for him. Truth is, this is just as upsetting for him as it is for me, if not more. No one wants to admit that they need help with something that is supposed to happen naturally, between a man and woman that love each other. A child made with love...

"So basically your dick doesn't work" Mr. Jeon says, not pulling any punches. "Honey please" Mrs. Jeon says, trying to reign him back in which helps a bit. "My dick works just fine" my husband says ultimately taking on a defensive stance against his father. "First you beg me to give you my blessing to marry her, and now after all of that you're not able to do the one thing that I am asking you to do for our family. We need an heir to inherit the company and I want to see that happen now" his father says standing up and walking out of his office that we all had gathered in. "Let me talk to him" my mother in law says with a pained expression, "No, it's fine I'll go" I say standing up and giving her a kiss on the cheek telling her not to worry.    

 "I'm not interested in a lecture about the children" my father in law says with his back turned to me, clearly thinking it was his wife who has come to reason with him. "I'm not interested in doing that either" I say walking closer to him where he is standing on his balcony, over looking the city. He turns to face me and takes in my form for a little longer than I had hoped he would, his eyes dragging up my figure, lingering on my chest before turning back around. "I'm sorry you had to see that" he says not bothering to spare me a second glance.

I decide to walk up to the railing next to him and take in the view as well, breathing in the fresh air and trying to regain some sense of peace before I try speaking again. "It's his fault isn't it?" he questions, still looking out at the scene in front of him. "It isn't anyone's fault" I say mirroring his posture. "It has to be someone's fault" he says, upset that no one wants to tell him the truth. "It's funny, you both put up such a fight to be together and it turns out you aren't as compatible as you thought you were" he laughs bitterly,  pushing himself off the railing and turning to walk back inside. 

"That's not fair, it's not our fault" I call after him. "Life's not fair sweetheart. Get used to it" he says and closes the door behind him. I let out a sigh and turn back toward the city and look up at the sky, trying to clear my thoughts and hold back the tears that I can feel are moments away from falling. "Hey" my husband says, placing his hand on the small of my back making me jump not realizing that he had already come to find me. 

"How did it go?" he questions softly and when I go to open my mouth in response only a soft whimper comes out, now finally feeling my heart start to crack while tears stream down my face. "Come here" he says wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in as close as he can while I start sobbing into his chest, not being able to hold it in anymore. "It's okay baby, it's okay" he says softly coaxing the tears out of me. "We'll figure it out just like you said" he whispers and I nod showing him that I haven't lost hope. I guess at the end of the day, I'm not as strong as I thought I was. 

"How long are you going to be gone?" I question him as he finishes packing up a suitcase for his business trip. "Only a few weeks" he says as if it's nothing. "Weeks? What about the doctor? What about me? What about-" I ramble but am cut off by his lips on mine. "It's already all taken care of" he whispers against my lips and rubs his nose against mine before pulling back to continuing packing. 

"You talked to the doctor already?" I question and he nods his head. "Yep he says things are looking good and he's hopeful that we'll be able to conceive soon. We could even conceive now if you want to try" he says turning back around, drinking me in before pulling my body flush against his and giving a few light kisses on my neck already making me breathless from his touch on my sensitive skin. "How much longer until you're done?" I say trying to keep my mind straight. "Give me five minutes" he says and comes back up to give me a urgent kiss before running back and getting a few more things. 

"Text me when you land" I say walking up to the car while the driver places his bags in the trunk. "Of course" he says giving me one more kiss full of longing, making me not want to let him go. He pulls back a few moments later and nudges his nose against mine again before pulling away. "I love you" he says softly and rubs his thumb over the dark purple hickey he gave me on my neck, one to 'remember him by' as he had said proudly while I tried to scold him. 

"Don't take a test until I come back okay?" he says turning towards me one more time before getting in. "I won't" I laugh and shake my head at him while he gets in the car. "Bye" he says rolling down the window to give me one last goodbye before the driver pulls out of the driveway. I wave and watch as the car goes down the street until it turns the corner. "Be safe" I whisper under my breath and go back inside. 

After closing the door I head back into our bedroom and look down at my phone seeing a missed call from my father in law but he didn't bother leaving a message. He never calls me and since our last interaction wasn't the best I have no idea why he would even bother getting in touch with me now. 

"Y/n" he says simply when he picks up my call. "Yes?" I say waiting for him to get on with what was so important that it required a personal call from him. "Has my son left for the airport yet?" he questions and I'm curious as to why he would be asking me that instead of him. "Uh yeah he just left a few minutes ago" I say deciding to forward the information anyways. "Great, I need to speak to you about something, in person" he says which confuses me even more. "Why can't you just tell me now?" I question. 

"This is a personal matter and I would prefer it if we could just talk about it privately and have a civil conversation" he says and now that I take note of the background noise I can tell that he's probably in the car. "Okay that's fine" I concede without much of a fight and he tells he'll be there soon and hangs up without another word. I would prefer to avoid all conflicts with him since he's already not too fond of me to begin with but I might as well not give him another reason to be upset with me. 

"Hello" I say opening the front door for him and he walks in like I am simply 'the help' letting him into his own home and makes his way over to my husband's office. 'Sure make yourself at home' I think to myself and roll my eyes at him while closing the front door. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?" I question walking in with my arms crossed in front of my chest and leaning against the doorframe. "Y/n please sit down. I promise, I mean no harm" he says in the softest tone I've ever heard come out of his mouth which leaves me furrowing my brown and doing as he says, being caught off guard by his demeanor. 

"I wanted to discuss something with you" he says sitting on my husbands chair behind his desk. "So you said" I say lifting a brow at him. He's not usually one to mince words or beat around the bush, an example being the last interaction we had in person. "Why is it that you can't conceive?" he ask, coming back to his normal self somewhat but keeping that softer tone still. "I don't think I'm obligated to tell you that" I say simply, keeping my walls up despite his sudden change of character. 

"I just wanted to know if this is a situation that I can somehow...remedy" he says putting a strange emphasis on the end. "Meaning?" I question, not fully understanding what he could possibly mean by that. Or more like, I hope his thought process isn't just as twisted as mine is. "Well if the burden is on my family, mainly on my son then wouldn't it make sense that we would be the ones to help solve this problem?" he says standing up and walking around the desk to lean on it in front of me, still at somewhat of an appropriate distance. 

"Right" I say waiting for him to get to the point. "And seeing as I'm the one who is desperately awaiting an heir, shouldn't I be the one who is putting in the most effort find a solution?" he says never breaking eye contact. "Mr. Jeon what are you trying to say?" I say sitting upright in the chair, my body language showing clear discomfort. "Don't call me that" he says lowering his voice an octave catching me off guard and almost sending a current running up my spine. 

"What should I call you?" I say crossing one leg over the other, shifting around, suddenly feeling warm under his gaze. "By my name, or would you prefer something else?" he says with an eyebrow raised. "I would prefer to call you Mr. Jeon" I say in defiance, continuing to keep my walls up. "I guess that's fine, as long as you remember that it's me you're referring to" he says bending at the waist to meet me at eye level. 

"Referring to while what?" I ask feeling my heart rate pick up with this new proximity. "While I do what my son should've been able to do in the first place"  he says looking down at my lips for a moment before straightening back up, providing me room to breathe again. "Mr. Jeon I think you should leave" I say after clearing my through and getting up to walk out of the room but before I'm able to get far he holds me back by my wrist, pulling me towards him. 

"There's no need to run sweetheart, we're just talking" he says and brushes my hair out of my face that had been moved out of place by his sudden movements. "I'm not running" I say through clenched teeth trying to stand firm though I feel my defenses crumble with every honey coated word that drips from his lips, leaving me conflicted. "Good, then why don't you sit back down for me." he says and gently guides me back by my waist to do as he suggested. 

"Let's just say this, I have a proposition for you" he says leaning back on the desk again. "There's nothing to propose, your son is my husband" I say trying to show him how crazy this all is. "I am aware" he says plainly waiting for my further reasons to decline his offer. "Shouldn't that be reason enough?" I question, not understanding how he doesn't see how sick and twisted this arrangement is that he is proposing. 

"You duty to your husband is to always want the best for him correct? To do anything to make him happy? Don't you think that he would be happy coming home from his long trip away to find you pregnant with his child?" he says circling around the chair I'm in, dragging his finger along the back of it and stopping to rest his hand on my shoulder. "But it wouldn't be his child" I say looking up at him which was a huge mistake as his gaze has got me feeling breathless from the intensity. Pupils dilated and eyes forever trained on my entire existence, tracing every curve with his eyes, desperate to see what is hidden underneath everything I'm wearing. 

"He doesn't have to know that. He would share his DNA, and that's good enough for me" he says brushing it off. "Well then why don't you and your wife have another child?" I question, "Then he can take over when my husband retires. They would be the same age anyway if I were to have a child now" I say quickly offering a solution. "Haven't you always wanted to be a mother? Have a child to call your own?" he questions now holding my jaw in place, maintaining eye contact. 

"Yes" I say now nervous from the intimate contact. "And my son has always wanted to be a father no? He knows it would take a lot of pressure off everyone once you do have a child right? I would pull back and we would have our heir. Don't you want that?" he questions. "Not like this" I whisper barely holding on, the last of my defenses finally diminished. "Do it for him. No one has to know I promise." he says, rubbing his thumb against my bottom lip. 

"But I love him" I say, my eyes welling up with tears, knowing that I don't have the fight in me to stop this anymore. "And you're doing this because you love him" he says closing our proximity and bringing his lips close enough to touch but holds back for a second. "It's your call" he says and waits for me to take the next move 'I'm so sorry' I think to myself, begging for my husband's forgiveness and close my eye while also closing the distance between us. 

Part two Do it for Us | Jeon Jungkook

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[bimbobaggins69]

Fooled round & fell in love (part four)

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

summary: you’re in love with your best friend but your best friend thinks love is for losers, choosing to sleep around rather than settle down. You’ve had enough and you’re ready to move on from your feelings, luckily you find someone who might make that possible but does Eddie really hate love as much as he leads on?

warnings: filthy filthy smut 18+ MINORS DNI, dirty talk, daddy kink (sorry I’m a slut for it), slight perv!eddie, cocky eddie, unprotected sex, honestly it’s basically porn, angst

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has liked, commented and reblogged it really means so much to me. I am seriously shocked at how well this whole series has done, this is literally the first thing I’ve ever written so the fact that people love it is so special to me, so again thank you! 🙏🏻

“But s’kay, we’re here now and I’m gonna take such good care of you”

Eddie says while moving your soaked panties to the side, dipping his two fingers between your folds

“Fuck, I was right, you’re fucking soaked, princess” he says with lust blown eyes

“mmm” is all you can get out while Eddie gathers the wetness dripping from your hole and brings it back up to rub sloppy circles around your clit

“Oh my god!” You moan out as Eddie smirks down at you

“Not, god, but you can call me daddy” he says with a mischievous look on his face

You try to roll your eyes at his antics but fail when he slips a finger into your wet, warm hole instead your eyes close from the immense pleasure

His finger tip slides in and out of you a couple times until he’s moving it in deeper and curling it enough to hit that spot deep inside of you that you didn’t even know you had, then he’s slipping another finger in continuously hitting that spot as you begin to open your legs wider and grab at whatever you can, in this case the hair on the nape of his neck, which makes him moan out in pleasure

His fingers are now pounding into your pussy with the most delicious squelching sounds

“You hear that baby?” Eddie says looking deep into your eyes

“That’s how good daddy’s making you feel”

Your eyes roll back at his filthy words

“Fuck, I need to taste you y/n”

You weren’t sure what it was but something about Eddie declaring his desperation to eat your pussy while using your real name, not a pet name made you wanna submit to everything he said

“Yes, daddy please eat my pussy!” You moan out

Eddie let out the most guttural groan, and fuck was it sexy

Before you knew it he had already moved down between your thighs, he begins slipping your panties down your legs and rolling them off your ankles, Eddie stops and gets up going to his nightstand, he opens it and tosses your panties inside, closes it and then moves back between your thighs

At this point Eddie could do no wrong in your eyes, you were not at capacity to question him about anything, and he was loving the control he had over you, you’re usually a brat, always having something sassy to say, so the fact that you’re being so ready and willing to please him is driving him crazy, and making his cock so hard, it’s starting to hurt

After leaving a few chaste kisses to your thighs, Eddie grabs the back of your knees lifting your legs so high they almost touch the bed underneath your head, he sticks his tongue out and licks you from your dripping hole to your swollen clit, taking it in his mouth and sucking, he was so sloppy with his movements, but it felt fucking divine

He starts to shake his head while sucking at your clit and you just about lose it, grabbing onto the sheets and then grabbing a handful of his beautiful wavy locks

“EDDIE! HOLY SHIT!” You scream out

Eddie lifts his head to say “yeah that’s right, that’s the only name that should be leaving those pretty lips”

Then he’s diving back in to lick and suck on your clit until you can’t hold on any longer

“Eddie, baby I’m gunna c-cum!”

“Cum for daddy”

Was all you needed before your eyes were rolling back and you were clenching around nothing, the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had in your life

Once you can’t take anymore you grab a handful of his hair and bring him back up to you, but before you kiss him, you lick and suck on his lips tasting yourself

“mmm, I taste so good” you say in the most seductive voice that’s ever left your mouth

“Jesus, y/n I think your my dream girl” he says in amazement at your filthiness

Your heart bursts hearing his words, but you talk yourself down not wanting to get your hopes up, “he’s just saying that in the heat of the moment” you think to yourself

Before you could dive any further into those thoughts Eddie’s grabbing your chin and kissing you, not a sloppy, sexual kiss but a soft, intense and passionate kiss, you don’t think you’ve ever been kissed like this before and holy shit, it’s intensifying all the feelings you already had for him

He pulls away and you let out a little whine and Eddie thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever heard

“You miss me already?” He says while pulling his sweat pants down and letting his cock spring out, of course that little shit wasn’t wearing underwear

You couldn’t help but widen your eyes at the size, definitely the biggest you’d ever seen, you didn’t even know they could be this big if you were being honest but you weren’t very experienced in that area as you’ve only been with two other guys not including Randy for obvious reasons

Eddie noticed the way you were starring and smiled “like what you see, princess?”

You just nod in shocked silence

You’re wondering how he’s even going to fit inside you, but you’re ready for the challenge

Before you can over think it, you’re standing up and pushing Eddie to sit down on the bed

“What are you doing?” He says in surprise

But as soon as he sees you sink down to your knees he doesn’t need any further explaining

You look up at him as you take his big cock in your dainty hand, giving it a few strokes

Eddie is looking right back at you, letting out a shaky breath

In this moment you decided you wanted to give him the best head of his life, you weren’t super experienced but you knew enough, your competitive side coming out, you knew you had to be better than all of those girls before you, maybe you shouldn’t have been looking at it from that angle but you truly couldn’t help it

After you stroke his cock a couple more times you let spit pool in your mouth before you’re spitting a glob right on his tip, you start to move down with your hand smearing it all over his meaty shaft

He’s already moaning out like crazy and you haven’t even wrapped your lips around him yet

“Fuck, that’s a good girl” he moans out

You bite your lip at his words

“You like that, you wanna be my good girl? He says

You shake your head yes, pulling out the most innocent yet seductive look you could

It worked, Eddie couldn’t get enough of this side of you. He always wondered what fucking you would be like but he never thought you would end up being like this

So confident and sexy, he almost felt like he was having sex with a porn star.

Eddie knew you weren’t that experienced so you were impressing him immensely

Finally after your teasing you take the head of his cock into your mouth, lightly sucking, you continue to move down taking inch by inch into your mouth until he’s hitting the back of your throat, you bob your head a few times letting his tip continuously hit your throat, you gag a bit and then let his cock go with a pop, you have so much spit in your mouth after gagging you decide to spit on the tip again, as you’re smearing the spit all over while pumping it, you notice his balls looked lonely so you start stroking a little faster tightening your grip, as you do that you take one of his balls in your mouth

“JESUS FUCK!” He moans out as his eyes roll back into his head

Then he’s looking back down at you, your pretty eyes looking back at him as you stroke him and suck on his balls. Eddie knew he was in love with you already but holy shit after this he was never gunna let you go, he starts thinking about you and Randy and how he almost got to see you like this, he couldn’t let that happen again.

After you’ve given his balls enough attention you grab his cock putting it back in your mouth and deep throating, fucking him with your mouth at this point

“Fuck you’re such a good girl, fuck y/n you’re my best girl” he says with so much adoration

His words only egging you on

Finally Eddie can’t take it anymore, he has to be inside you, has to feel you wrapped around him

He grabs your hair and pulls you off of him, once you pull off of his dick you’re looking up at him, with your mouth and chin full of your spit, as he’s staring at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, you smile up at him so innocently like you didn’t just have his balls in your mouth

“Please let me fuck you now, baby?”

You did not have to be asked twice

You stand up on your feet, but as soon as you do Eddie is throwing you onto the mattress and assuming the position you started out in

“Condom?” Eddie asks checking to see what you wanted, if he’s being honest he’s never fucked a girl without one, but with you Eddie wanted to feel everything, he wanted to be impossibly close to you

“I need you to fuck me raw Eddie” you moan out to him in complete desperation

Your words alone could make him bust, he’s never felt that way before, so turned on that you could do or say anything and he’d be complete putty in your hand

Eddie grabs his cock and rubs it over your folds teasingly

Then he’s angling it into your tight hole, slowly pushing in inch by inch, your mouth falls open in a silent moan, stretching you out so nicely, you couldn’t help but writh a little bit beneath him, you’ve never felt such pleasure, once he’s finally bottomed out completely and you take a few breaths, he begins moving in and out at a agonizingly slow pace, you’re so horny you can’t even take it anymore you need him to pound you into oblivion

“Harder Eddie, I need you to pound my pussy, please!” You don’t know where any of this was coming from but Eddie was bringing this little sex demon out of you and you were not mad about it, it felt nice speaking up and asking for what you wanted, never feeling comfortable enough to do that with your two other partners

“Fuck, ok baby, I got you” he says as he starts to fuck into you harder, skin slapping and pretty moans coming from you both was all that could be heard in Eddie’s room

As Eddie pounded into you, he looked down into your eyes removing some of the hair that was in your face, he leans down and kisses you, same passionate, intense kiss like last time, he breaks the kiss again going back to looking you in the eyes, his pace starts to slow a bit and he’s catching his breath from fucking you so hard, his gaze is so intense you almost wanna look away, as he leans in more he whispers

“I love you y/n, so fucking much”

You couldn’t even believe what you had just heard, you felt like you were dreaming about to be awoken at any second, everything was almost too much and you were on the verge of your second orgasm

“I-I fuck Eddie, I love you too! I’ve loved you for so long” you do your best to get your words out between moans

With that, Eddie starts pounding into you again he can tell you’re teetering on the edge and he needs to make you cum before he does

“Uh, uh” is all that leaves your mouth as your eyes roll back

Eddie is so close and he almost can’t hold it any longer so he sucks his thumb into his mouth getting it nice and wet before he’s swiping it over your clit, your body starts to tense and shake and your moans are getting even louder, you turn your face into Eddie’s forearm that is resting by your head and bite into it as you have the most earth shattering orgasm to date

The bite you gave Eddie mixed with your walls spasming and gripping his cock has him pulling out and spurting white ropes of cum all over your pussy

As he cums he lets out the most sexiest and deepest moan that you wish you could record and play over and over again when you got home.

After you both catch your breaths and come down from your highs, Eddie gets up and heads to the bathroom for a towel to clean you up with

After he wipes you down he throws the towel into his hamper, pulls his sweats on and goes to lay down next to you pulling your body closer to his

He breaks the silence “I really meant that” he said almost too nervous to bring it up

You turn to face him, as you rub your nose against his, making him smile

“I meant it too” you said back

Before Eddie could say anything else there was a knock at the door

You get up and smooth out your clothes as Eddie gets up to head to the front door, as he opens it the same blonde from the party is pushing her way inside throwing her arms around him and kissing his neck “hey baby!” Leaves her mouth and he looks over at you as you stand there frozen in shock.

part 5

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[drmaddict]

Patchwork

Summary: Henry becomes a father... Just not how he thought it would happen.

Word count: 2.160

Warnings: mentions of domestic violence, lots of fluff

"Six?"

"Six."

"Six children?"

"Well not biologically, but.... yes."

(Y/n) looked uncertainly at Henry. The blue eyes stared at her in disbelief.

"You have six children living in your house?"

She sighed. That was always the point at which every guy ran away.

"I understand if that's too much for you," she began. 

Henry shook his head still in disbelief, but grinned. "Do you ever sleep, or do you just get used to  sleep deprivation?"

She smiled cautiously. Didn't trust the peace yet, though. "To be honest there are two kids one 9 and one 12 and four pubescent teenagers."

He regarded her quietly across the restaurant table. "Are you okay?" he asked, "Did I say something wrong? I know my reaction may have been a little surprised, but I didn't mean to cut you in."

She relaxed a little. "It's just... Most guys run away as soon as they hear that, and that would really be .... a shame."

Henry smiled and shook his head. "I don't run away. I hate cardio."

That made her smile.

"But you'll still have to tell me how you get to adopt six children and teenagers.... And that as a single woman in her mid-twenties."

"It's like cats. Somehow I guess it doesn't stay with just one." She tipped her wine glass. "The first one was Jason. He was the son of my neighbors at the time and would come by my apartment every so often in the afternoon until his mother got home. One night he showed up at my door bleeding. His father caught him with make up and beat him black and blue. It took a while, but then he could move in with me. He's graduating from high school this summer. He has even been accepted to a make up school. He wants to go into film as a makeup artist." She smiled softly. "He's come a long way."

Henry curtsied in shock at the story. "Fatima is 16 and has been disowned by her family for not being a virgin. She has ambitions to study law. I don't think anyone will stop her from going to Oxford. Mike is almost 16 - next week - and grew up without a father and even though his mother tried everything, she has high level schizophrenia. She has been institutionalized and now lives in care. We visit her whenever her condition allows it. Mini - Emilia ran away at some point. We don't really know what happened. She is 14. Kamon is 12 and comes from a refugee family. His parents have been sent back to Thailand. We are trying to get a visa for them. Until then, I'm kind of his foster family. He and Mike are not officially adopted. Both love their family and do everything for them, even if they can't always be there. And Lilly. She is 9. Her family died in a car accident. No family member has been found."

She was silent for a moment and continued to contemplate her wine before looking up and looking at Henry.

"Henry... I understand if this is too much, but.... they've all been through enough in their lives and every single one of them has their reasons for making it hard for new people in our family. So if, against all odds, you say yes to this circus, know that it's not so easy to get out of it either." Her gaze became insistent. "If you leave me, that's one thing, but I won't do that to the kids."

Henry, who hadn't said anything all this time, took one deep breath and reached for her hand lying on the table. He smiled. "If they're willing to meet me, so am I."

Henry stood in front of a gigantic house. His house was already big, but this one surpassed it. Despite its size, however, it didn't seem ostentatious. It looked cozy and inviting. The word 'home' popped into his head.

Shouts and frantic footsteps sounded from inside. 

He pressed his thumb on the doorbell. Immediately, everything went silent.

The door opened with a jerk. A dark-skinned boy stood before him, beaming at him. From the colored eyeliner, he concluded that it must be Jason.

"Hello Mr. Cavill." he said in a noticeably loud voice.

Immediately, frantic footsteps sounded and he saw scattered bodies running through the background.

"Hi. Henry will do." he smiled.

"Come on in. I'm Jason. Ehhm... (Y/n) isn't here yet.... Mike had... They had to go to the hospital."

"Is he okay?"

Jason shrugged. "Normally, he is. Boxer you know... Tea?"

"Gladly."

He stepped into the house. It was swept as if empty, yet the traces of life could be seen in it. Self-painted pictures. Photographs. Various equipment for hobbies. Shoes in different sizes. And that was just the hallway. Henry let himself be led into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs. None matched the other.

"Mike had a match this morning. (Y/n) said he's already patched up. They're already on their way here."

Henry smiled. "With something like this, you should take your time."

Jason set the steaming cup down for him and sat with him.

Henry accepted it gratefully. "It's very quiet."

"Be glad." was all he said, sipping his tea. "I don't want to chase you away, but it's like human history here. The periods of absolute peace are relatively negligible." He ran his index finger over the rim of his cup and grinned. "And I'm one of the worst divas here. Just a warning."

The front door opened and a rumble sounded, followed by an amused giggle. "Sorry about that." a boy's slurred voice rang out.

"That's okay big guy. Come on off to bed." he heard (y/n).

"I'm fine!"

"That's because they drugged your ass off so you can't feel your face."

"Where's Ammy?"

"Mike you need to rest now. You can call Amber when you're in bed."

"Who are you?" A blond boy in a gray sweatshirt and swollen face looked at him from the doorway, aghast. "Who's that?" he turned to (Y/n).

"A friend Mike. That's a friend. Jason stop filming him!"

Still grinning, Jason put the phone away and turned to Henry. "Welcome."

"What's the dog's name?", Kamon asked him.

"That's Kal...like Superman." he smiled at the shy boy.

"I like Batman."

Henry rolled his eyes playfully. "Oh yeah, why?"

"Batman watches out for kids nobody else wants. Like (y/n)."

Henry smiled.

"I told you not to rummage through my things!" yelled Emilia down the hall.

Henry and (Y/n) sat in the garden each holding a book.

"I wasn't rummaging. I was getting MY eyeshadow, that you stole from MY room!" shouted back Jason. "It's not my fault you leave your lovey-dovey fanfictions lying around in the open like that!"

"You have no business in my room!"

"That being said - Tom Holland? Really?"

A splintering sound rang out.

"I guess that was the vase, then," (Y/n) sighed.

"I would have thought she was more of a Sebastian Stan type," Henry reflected loudly.

"How long has she been sitting there?" whispered Henry to (Y/n).

"Since this morning. She hasn't looked up from that book in five hours."

Fatima sat at the large parlor table surrounded by books, writing notes and index cards.

"That's impressive. Scary, but impressive."

Kal walked over to the table and nudged her.

"I have to study! Sit!" Kal obeyed immediately and sat next to her chair.

"She'd make a good drill sergeant," Henry grinned.

(Y/n) sipped her coffee. "You've never seen her in exam stress."

"This isn't exam stress?"

"This is relaxed studying."

Henry looked in shock at the girl with noise cancelling headphones. (Y/n) grinned into her cup.

 "They need more glitter!" determined Lilly.

Henry reached for the can of edible glitter and sprinkled more of it on the unicorn cookies.

"Like this?"

The little girl looked thoughtfully at the tin. "Like this."

Henry bowed theatrically and slid the tin into the oven. "All for your majesty." The girl giggled.

(Y/n) just watched with a smile.

Jason and Mike sat on the sofa grinning together at a tablet, each with headphones in their ears.

This wasn't normal. Even Henry knew that by now. He wondered if they were both watching porn. He'd been that age once, too. He knew what that was like.

(Y/n) came into the living room and looked over there shoulders at the two of them. She laughed uncontrollably grunting, but immediately suppressed it and came over to him.

No porn, he concluded.

"What about these two?" asked Henry, pulling her to him on the sofa and onto his lap.

"Just a movie," she grinned.

"What movie?"

She continued to shake her head with a grin and waved it off. Henry was very reluctant to be shut out. So he sat (y/n) down next to him on the sofa and stood behind the two teenagers. When he saw his younger self in a black hoodie grinning and holding up a tarot card, he groaned in annoyance.

The boys snorted indignantly. Henry looked defiantly at the display.

"Oh come on Sweet Cheeks! What's wrong?" asked (Y/n) with a laugh.

He looked at her with an intensity that promised she would pay for this yet. She could hardly wait.

"What's with the hair?" laughed Jason.

"It was in back then!"

Henry stood in the kitchen making coffee while there was the familiar bustle around him. Kamon couldn't find his second shoe, Lilly needed a certain T-shirt, Jason occupied the bathroom, Mike shoveled eggs into his mouth, Fatima just drank the coffee straight out of the pot, and Emilia hid behind a book.

He could hardly believe that over a year should have passed already.

They had grown close to his heart. He didn't want to miss the chaos at all. The last time he left for a job, it seemed almost eerie how quiet it was that night. He had told (y/n) about it over Skype. She'd just grinned and said those feelings liked to sneak up on one.

"Do you think they want me in their life?" he had asked her uncertainly.

She had only smiled. "Wait a minute." She disappeared and came back a moment later with a piece of paper. She held it up to the camera. "Lilly drew this for you today." It showed eight roughly drawn people. Under each one, in capital letters, was the name.... except for (y/n) and him. It just said Mum and Paps. Henry stared wide-eyed at the screen. "Please act surprised when you come back. It's supposed to be a gift.", she put the paper back down. "Are you crying?"

Henry had remained silent. He had only nodded.

He smiled at the memory. The picture hung framed in the hallway. It had become Henry's favorite picture.

"Car one go!", (y/n) called down the stairs.

The three mismatched teens got up from the table and walked to (y/n)s car.

Henry packed the last of the snacks into Lilly and Kamon's lunchboxes before he, too, packed them into his cat and drove them to school. Jason had a little break from make up school and stayed at home.

Henry came back earlier than (y/n). He waited patiently for her in the kitchen. Looked at the mismatched chairs and the photos on the wall. Photos that now included him. (Y/n) came shortly after him and dropped into her usual seat next to him. She reached for the waiting cup of coffee and dropped her head on his shoulder. "How did I do this alone before?"

Henry laughed.

"I mean it. Don't you dare leave! I can't take it anymore!"

Henry just smiled at her. He got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it in front of him. "I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life anywhere but with you and the kids. (Y/n) will you marry me?"

She looked at him with shocked eyes. "Are you sure?"

He nodded with a smile. "I want to take Lilly to her dance lessons. I want to be there when Jason gets his first jobs. I want to see Fatima come top of her year at Oxford - in law AND medicine." They both laughed. "I want to cheer Mike on in his competitions. I want to watch Emilia find the romance she secretly wants. I even want my heart to break when Kamon is reunited with his parents. I want to be with you. I want to be with the children. I don't want to run away. I want to be part of this family."

"You already are," she smiled, crying. She pulled him close and kissed him.

"Does that mean yes?" he grinned.

"Yes you idiot." she laughed.

[sweetbans29]

Mia Bella - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin meet at the dog park :)

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Here's a cute one for you - I honestly just love the thought of meeting outside of basketball and then having mutual support of one another. Ugh - I digress.

6 weeks. 6 weeks was all your summer at home consisted of before having to head back to school to start pre-season training. You play volleyball for UCLA which had you back in SoCal starting in the middle of July. Your love for playing outweighed your disgust for such a short summer but 6 weeks felt like nothing. 

Your favorite part of being home was getting to spend all the time in the world with your baby, Mia. Mia is a six-year-old, beautiful aussie who has been your best friend ever since she was a puppy. She is your favorite reason to come home for the summer. She provided the rest you needed from training while keeping you out in the sun. And this summer you were extra excited.

The city had just put in a new dog park right down the street from your house that had triple the space than any of the parks within a 10-mile radius from you. The only plan you had was to take her there daily. You knew she wasn’t going to complain about that - it was a long-standing summer tradition for the two of you.

You got home on a Friday night and first thing Saturday morning was taking Mia to the park. You grab you both water, her ball, and a blanket and put it in a bag with some snacks (some for you and some for her). You grab Mia’s leash and next thing you know you are off to the park. 

It’s a beautiful day. Mia makes a b-line to the park as your dad had been taking her since it opened. You get to the park right around 9 and find a nice place to set up your blanket. You set everything down and take Mia off her leash, she immediately gets the zoomies and you run around with her. You grab her ball and begin to play fetch.

If there is anything Mia loves more in this world than you, it is playing fetch. She would play all day if someone was willing to throw the ball to her. As you are throwing the ball with her you see another pup come and join Mia. A beautiful golden joins in with Mia - never stealing the ball but just happy to have someone to run around with. Mia drops her ball and the two dogs begin introducing themselves. The golden comes your way to get some pets and seems so excited to find another friend, even if you aren't four-legged.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see another 2-legged friend come jogging your way. You get up from the squat you were in to give the pups some love and give a little wave to the girl coming up.

"I am so sorry," she begins but you immediately wave her off.

"Please don't apologize, your pup is a sweetheart," you say as you continue to love on her pup. "What is their name?"

"Bella," the girl says. "My sweet Bella."

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella!" You say as you give her ear scratches. Your dog then goes up and looks for pets from the Bella's owner. "That is Mia," you say signaling to your baby.

Once a moment passes, you realize you haven't introduced yourself and extend your hand to do so. She shakes your hand with a smile and tells you her name is Caitlin.

"Well it is certainly a pleasure to meet you, Caitlin," you say with a smile. “I’ve caught a few of your games last season - your game is strong.” It’s her turn to smile after you give the compliment.

You invite her to sit while your pups run around. The two of you begin to get to know one another. You learn that she’s played basketball her whole life and that she had to play on the boys' team while she was in elementary. Following that - she was chosen to play for Team USA when she was in high school. As she was talking about playing, it was really neat to hear how much she loves the sport but is still able to separate her game from who she knows she is. Sitting there listening to her, it feels like she has opened a door to her soul- her genuine self. Your heart was instantly hooked.

As she kept talking, it felt like everything in the world melted away - she could talk you into circles and you would follow her anywhere. She talked about how she wanted to go to UConn but they never reached out to her. The coach never came to any of her games and the school never contacted her family. She ended up going to Iowa which meant she was close to home and her family could come and watch her play whenever. She talked about how that affected her in a way she wouldn’t have expected at the time but was for the better. You don’t know what it was but it felt like she was telling you things she hasn’t told anyone.

After she finishes talking about basketball, she starts to talk about how she was born and raised here. She talks about her two brothers and how competitive she was and still is. She talks about how there wasn’t much time for anything outside of basketball. Not that she regretted missing out on things like prom and dating.

When it was your turn, you talked about how you had a very similar background but instead of basketball, it was volleyball. You grew up playing from a young age and are now playing D1 volleyball at UCLA which is a little further from home than you hoped. You talked about how your family travels to come see you as often as they can but it never feels like enough. You talk about how you don't really know what you want to do after playing in college - you have thought about coaching but haven't figured it out yet.

Continuing, you talk about your family and how you are an only child but always wanted siblings growing up. You talk about how nice it was to go to college away but how much you missed the Midwest and look forward to coming back after you graduate. You relate to her in how time outside of sports had you missing things that felt like a right of passage but never really minded it. You were lucky to always have friends on the teams that you played on - they kept you going.

Before the two of you know, it is already mid-afternoon. Both of your pups are napping next to one another like they have known each other their whole lives.

"How long are you home for?" Caitlin asks.

"I have about 6 weeks before having to head back for training. It's not much but it is better than nothing," you say, giving a half smile to your new friend.

"Dang, that feels like nothing," she says with a little laugh. "Do you have any plans?" She asks, hoping that this is just the start of a new friendship rather than a one-and-done thing. She had shared more with you in the last few hours than she had with most people in the first month.

"The only set plan I have is to bring Mia here as much as possible," you say with a smile. "If you aren't super busy, you should join! You and Bella of course," you follow up.

"It's a date," she says giving you a smile. Your cheeks start to heat up, smiling back.

The next few weeks were some of the best you have ever had while being home for the summer. Caitlin and you had spent every day at the park, bringing your dogs of course. Some days you would both bring a book and read, others you would end up talking the whole time. It was really nice to have someone to spend time with while you were home.

Getting to know each other at the park is what brought you to her house today. As you get out of your car, you see her come around the house and wave. You give her a wave back as you grab your things. You don't know how it happened but one day at the park you brought up how her shooting from the logo and how you couldn't shoot a basketball to save your life. She promised she would teach you before the summer was over.

So here you are, about to make a fool of yourself in front of one of the best women college players and there was nothing you could do. You walk over to her and give her a little hug.

"Are you ready to learn how to shoot?" Caitlin says with excitement. Her excitement is contagious.

"As ready as I will ever be!" You say with a chuckle, Caitlin's cute when she is excited.

The two of you stretch and she goes on about how she knows you will be a natural...or so she hoped.

You always love to prove people wrong, usually, it is those who are telling you that you can't do something. This time around, you wish you could prove her right because it was quite embarrassing.

"Well that was terrible," she says with a laugh. Both of you are lying on the ground in her home gym as you have just spent the last two hours trying to do anything that resembled basketball.

"I feel like that doesn't do justice to what I am capable of athletically. If you really want to see what I can do, you would come to one of my games," you say with a laugh.

"I would love to see you play," she says, turning her head to look at you. "Maybe someday we can make that happen."

Looking back at her you reply, "I would love that Cait."

"Then I'll come watch you play," you say with a smile. She smiles in response and scoots a little closer.

"Can I tell you something?" She asks. You nod, turning to face her. The ground wasn't the most comfortable thing, but you wanted to provide her your full attention.

"I am really glad our dogs met that day in the park," she begins, not really making eye contact with you. "I wasn't super excited about coming home for the summer but meeting and getting to know you has changed that. I am really glad we met. talking to you and laughing with you has brought me joy and I want to continue talking even when you go back to California. I don't want to not talk to you...or see you because well, I like you. I like you a lot. And I don't really know what to do with how much I like you because this is all new to me and..." You grab her hand and give it a squeeze. She finally looks up at you.

Her hand comes up to your face, her fingers brushing against your cheek. Her eyes look at your lips as she begins to lean in.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," she says just above a whisper, as her face inches closer to yours. You shake your head no as you close your eyes, waiting to feel her lips.

The kiss is simple. It is slow, just getting to know what the other feels like. Once she breaks away, you place your forehead against hers.

"I like you too," you say with a smile.

AN: Finally a shorter one, we are working on it. I hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[eamour]

the void craze

as many of you already might now, the "void" state, also called the "i am" state, is a method coined by neville goddard which became popular and famous for its rather unique way of manifesting your desires. just like with every method being put on a pedestal, there are a hand full of problems that come along with it. with this post, i want to help you gain clarity but also consciousness (no pun intended) about your outlook on this method.

problems of obsessing over a state

disregarding your outer reality. you have responsibilities and things to look after in the physical world that — even if you can change and get rid of them — need your attention. you exist in both, 4D and 3D. as long as you are aware of yourself physically, you need to care for yourself.

disregarding your inner reality. by constantly being in a state of waiting and wanting, you keep desiring. you keep occupying a state of mind and refuse to change it — in other words, change your "i am" — and will remain in that state assuming you don't "enter" the void state.

dismissing your feelings and emotions. this point is less about you desiring something but more about your emotional well being. by not fulfilling yourself from within, you are enslaved to your senses and will continue to upset yourself with the 3D, starting to bottle up your emotions.

becoming indifferent to your surroundings. you might start to disregard everything around you and force yourself not to negatively react or acknowledge the outer world.

developing unhealthy habits. some people are likely to isolate themselves, some begin to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet (specifically apps like tumblr or youtube), some ruin their sleep schedules to attempt once they are truly sleepy, and so on.

overconsuming information. with people spending a significant amount of time online, it enables the possibility of people taking in more information than they actually need (also causing people to doubt or double-check their knowledge).

overcomplicating the method. now, entering the void is easy. all you do is "enter" a specific state of mind, something you do all the time with many many different states all day long. but people love to think that it's different with the void as it's such an "important" state to occupy (which it is not).

refusing to change from within. as you rely on one method to change your life entirely, you are not willing to take the lead and to "manifest the usual way". you don't want to try any other method, nor make an effort to try something else.

focusing solely on the void. you are convinced that the void will be your saviour and fix all of your problems immediately which is why you see no point in manifesting another way. you are certain that the void is the only way to shift your reality easily, quickly and effortlessly.

trusting only the void. it's easy to give up all efforts to manifest your desires with other methods when you feel that manifesting without the void seems too difficult, hard or too exhausting.

mistrusting other methods. you might also feel like other methods don't work as "good" or "efficiently" as the void method.

putting your life on hold. while many people try to attempt to "enter the void" aka "become pure consciousness" at night or once they get into a sleepy, drowsy state, they tend to fail to care about their lives for several hours throughout the day. they dismiss improving their lives, start losing hope and stop to invest in themselves, as they see no point in "trying" to change anything. they believe that achieving change will only be worth it or purposeful once they do it via the void state.

conditioning your desires. waiting for the best moment to attempt, meaning once you are tired, doesn't mean to condition your desires. it's thinking that you can only attempt around that time that makes you condition your desires.

discrediting your power. since the void is known to change lives drastically, some lean towards ascribing more power to this method compared to themselves.

believing in an external power. some even believe the void is a place that exists outside of them rather than viewing the void as a state of reaching pure consciousness.

doubting your abilities. you can draw this conclusion once you begin to think that a state of mind has more power over you than the person that has the ability to choose and to occupy any state of mind they wish to.

burning out. if you have "failed" to identify with that state of mind, you are very likely to develop beliefs implying things such as being unable to manifest, being out of control and overall giving up on yourself.

advice

i didn't make this post for the solely purpose to scare you off and to persuade you not to try the void method at all. i made this post for you to understand the many many unnecessary thoughts all around this method. these are things that people do or think once they start to make their happiness depend on a method, a state that they are infinitely greater than.

i want to encourage you to try out any method that you are interested in and determined to master. do as you please, regardless of the opinions of other people. but always keep in mind: it's nothing you can't achieve. and remember, just like neville said, the conceiver is ever greater than his conception — meaning, you will always and forever be more powerful than any state of mind you could possibly think of.

with love, ella.

[lady-ashfade]

I thought It Was Normal

Percy Jackson character x male!reader (gods x reader) (platonic all)

╰･ﾟ✧☽ reader: like klaus from TUA. reader is a little oc in this, but i couldn’t help it. I needed this because I got a funny idea.

╰･ﾟ✧☽ warnings: short , me having little knowledge of what’s to come in the books, not canon just a silly idea

Camp got new campers every year so it wasn’t like they thought anything of you. The only thing is, you looked too confused to be there, everything Chiron said you would would give him the strangest look. Percy happened to be passing by, you got a tour of camp just like he did. And you were a bit to loud with your words- and let’s face it. He’s a little nosy.

“So you’re saying all the gods just drop their kids off here- or, don’t give them attention until they do something they deem worthy?” You ask like you had no care.

“Really a great idea. Half gods with daddy and mommy issues running around in the same place. Doesn’t sound dangerous at all.” You comment and continued walking with a eye roll.

Percy was interested in you right after that. You made him laugh and shared his views when he first came here, and he still thought them. He didn’t have to wait long to introduce himself since you left Hermes cabin in a rush to get away from people.

You didn’t want to talk to him at first. He tried to introduce himself but you brushed him off and said you weren’t willing to speak.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but I’m sure you’re parent will claim you.”

You stopped in your tracks and turn around and started to flail your arms. “I am human! I have no godly parent, not like you-. Honestly I wish I was because I would be less concerned about my future.”

“That’s new.” A girl’s voice popped up from behind you and out of no where. A girl with a cap in her hands yanked down from her head, she looked intimidating to you.

“Can you all do that? Just appear out of no where?” You asked slightly scared but amazed.

“Let’s go back to the part where you’re human,” Percy stepped forward like you were a bomb of some sort ready to explode. “Why are you here?” You scuffed and shrugged your shoulders.

“So, i happened to eat a crystal I found in the woods behind my house. It was weird and it had me hypnotized, surprised I didn’t break any teeth, and the next minute I know I’m seeing the dead. And these voices are talking to me, then I’m moved off to this camp.”

“Wait the dead?”

“The gods say I need training before I came to them. Which is weird because you think they would train me themselves…do you guys know what I should do? I have no clue why they want me.” You look at both of them for help but Percy is just staring with his mouth open and shocked. Annabeth looks annoyed and looking you up and down.

“Don’t piss them off.”  she was going to be great help.

Months go by and you grow closer to the trio. it was strange how you seemed to have more strength then a human, and could kept up in training with them. not once did you ever get claimed and it still surprised them to this day how you just become something out of the blue. They tried so hard to get their parents attention but you just- stumped upon something and had the gods interests?

yes, you were human. but no longer a human boy, but a god in training.

“did it have to be him? he’s more chaotic then your son Poseidon.” zues rubbed his temple as the gods watch down on you.

“fate is a funny thing brother.“

“I for one love the kid.” ares smirks as you trip percy and let out a vicious scream. nothing evil or mean behind it, just a adrenaline rush. but ares didn’t take it that why, you were going to be a monster.

“I’ll bless him soon, he should stay in my cabin.” Aphrodite smiles and played with her hair. 

“We all know he’s basically my child, the dead thing? Yeah, he’ll be staying with me in the underworld when it’s time.” Hades smirks at all of them.

and just like that the gods are starting a war all over again.

Reader: stumbles upon a crystal

the voices: eat me!!

Reader: No!! Let me go!!

Reader then becomes a god.