#title ofc from TAD

[0oolookitsme]

Daddy of Three

Type - A One Shot again!

Verse - Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n

Word Count - 2.2k

Warnings - None that I can find! (other than the fact that this is pure smut ofc)

A/n - Lowkey hate the title (you will too when you find out the context) but I just hope you enjoy this hahah <3

Kinks - Daddy kink, Face Fucking, Breeding Kink, Praise Kink.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

Please rb to share!

Y/n was chopping up the vegetables she'd need for the meal she was going to cook tomorrow morning for Harry and Karan's lunch. Her eyes remained on her iPad's screen, on which she could see the page Carla was presenting in the meeting.

Clicking on the little mic icon by her knuckle, she unmuted herself. "Marla, don't you think that we should use red and yellow undertones? It's going to be a violent and a sad scene, I think it would work better," she said, not exactly agreeing with her idea of using green undertones.

"I agree," a few people wrote in the chat.

"But ma'am, we probably wouldn't have as much screen time for that scene. Plus, we have a scene inside the hotel's bathroom after that, which they tell us would give off green hues," Marla said, sliding photos till the bathroom set was on the screen.

Y/n hummed, laughing at how she'd absolutely forgotten about that. "Then I'd say that we do put green undertones but less. We need the switch between the scenes to be slightly puzzling – nothing like 'what the hell are they doing in the bathroom now' though," she said, making the other woman laugh and other people text the laughing emojis.

They agreed on trying the directory for the same the next day, and planned out a few more things before bidding goodbyes. Right at that time, Harry and Karan also got up from the couch as the show they were watching just ended.

"Are you done?" Harry asked her, walking behind Karan who seemed to be growing taller and taller everyday. It still mesmerized her, the resemblance between the two – same green eyes, same curly hair, same nose. Only his mouth matched with hers, other than that, he was a ditto copy of Harry.

"Yes," Y/n groaned while getting up, stretching the moment she was on her feet while taking a big yawn. "Not really, just a bit tired from all the screen time," she said when Harry asked her if she was feeling sleepy.

"Serve the dinner, will you? I just quickly need to wind my stuff up." She looked at Harry with pleading and slightly guilty eyes, kissing the corner of her mouth once he mumbled an 'of course.'

"Don't take too much time, though!" He yelled as she hurried up the stairs.

Karan climbed up in his chair on his own with a bit of struggle. He'd finally grown tall enough to be able to sit on the main dinner table, but still he needed a taller chair to sit on.

"Look at you going, already a big boy," Harry grinned at the little one, who was about to turn four this year. A breathy chuckle escaped his mouth when the boy's ears turned pink, he was born a shy persona but that never deterred him from speaking up when he wanted to.

Y/n watched from atop as Harry talked to Karan about the show they were just watching. It had shown some wild animals tonight, from what she could hear. She couldn't help but swoon a little bit on the inside as Karan climbed down the chair with a bit of grunting and helped Harry serve the table.

"Bring me a glass, please," Harry asked the kid just because he was eager to help. "Thank you," he appreciated him once the glass was on the table.

"Y/n –" Harry was about to call for her when he saw her watching him from the doorframe of their room. "C'mon, what are you waiting for?" He laughed, feeling a tad bit of shyness creep up on him when he realized that she'd been watching him.

They've known each other since childhood yet she still manages to turn his ears pink by just her gaze – it was yet another trait that Karan got from Harry.

"Could watch you be a baby daddy all day long. Just makes me feel so hot," she whispered in his ears, grinning when he slapped her bum sneakily.

"Did you tell daddy about the puzzle we solved today?" Y/n asked Karan and melted on the inside when his eyes lit up and he sat upright, suddenly excited and eager to tell Harry all about it.

And Karan's energized talking about the animals was how they spent their time eating dinner. Talking about Karan's puzzle, Harry's practice routine for the next day and Y/n's plans for visiting the set for a run-through were some add-ons in the talk here and there. Once they'd finished, Y/n took Karan up to his room to read him one of his nightly-stories, and lull him to sleep – it was Harry's turn to do the dishes tonight.

The toddler was extra tired today. He'd had football practice for a small upcoming match in his school, solved a lot of math problems and a whole puzzle in one day. So, it only took about four paragraphs of the story in the calming voice of his mother for him to pass out.

Y/n climbed down the stairs as silently as she could and pressed a feather-light kiss on Harry's neck, who didn't get scared in the slightest – probably because he heard her jam her toe in the leg of the dining table.

Harry hummed to acknowledge her presence, loading the last plate into the dishwasher. She stood back patiently, and once he was done, Harry turned around and leaned his bottom on the kitchen counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Then, y/n leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto his lips.

"Mm, someone's feeling needy," he smirked when she pulled back, pulling her in again by her waist when she nodded. "What do you need, love?" Harry asked her, pecking her lips again with a soft smile on his mouth.

"Need to taste you, daddy – been so long," she mumbled, slowly and slowly relaxing into his body.

He continued tracing the outline of her lips, "Is that so?" He asked again, and when she nodded he released her lower lip from under the weight of his thumb, watching it rise back to its place.

"Then we'll put that mouth of yours to a good use," he rasped, reaching for her mouth again as he slid one of his hands on the back of her head, pulling her hair back to give him space to litter her neck in kisses.

When her mouth met his skin, she left open-mouthed kisses on it and bit on a few spots before Harry started pushing her down on her knees. Once she was down, she pulled down his sweats on his command and watched as his cock stood up, already hard. She spit on her palm, lubricating his length as she stroked him.

"Hands behind your back," Harry told her, and started lowering her head on his length when she took him in his mouth. "Fuck," he breathed, watching her as he pushed her lower and lower on him slowly.

He cherished the feeling of her warm mouth on him, and when she reached his base, he let out a groan as the feeling of his tip touching the very back of her throat.

Y/n could taste his salty pre-cum that had started to leak from his slit. It would've been more convenient for her if she could've placed her hands on his thighs, but somehow, this position was only making her panties wetter.

When Harry asked her if she was ready to go, she quickly showed him a thumbs up before holding her wrist behind her back again.

Slowly and slowly, Harry started bringing her head back and forth by his grip on her hair. Her lips wrapped around him felt every vien as he brought her head up till his reddened tip. She managed to take a lick at his slit before he brought her down again, faster this time.

Now, her head was bobbing faster on his cock and with the way her saliva was starting to dribble down her chin, she could feel him pulsing in mouth as she hollowed out her cheeks when she hit the base.

She gagged a bit when Harry pushed in till the back of throat. And then, he quickened the pace.

He held her head in one place as she tried to swallow some of his arosual fucked into her mouth, the sounds of her gagging filling the kitchen. "Fuck- you're doing so well, darling," Harry moaned above her, creating a pace again – his eyes unable to move from the sight of strings of her saliva and his arousal moving with each bob of her head.

He fucked her mouth with a fast pace, his tips dragging along her tongue before hitting the back of her throat with each thrust. "Jesus- fuck," he choked, his hold on her head getting tighter as he began ruthlessly fucking into her mouth.

"Breath from your nose, baby," Harry told her, continuing to thrust his cock deep down her throat by now. She started gurgling on her own saliva and his precum, her arms starting to ache as tears leaked out of her eyes and she clenched around nothing, her pussy feeling like it were ready to be pounded.

"Oh lord," he grunted, slowing down his pace just when Y/n thought he was close to releasing down her throat, he brushed his hand through her hair.

Gradually, Harry pulled out of her mouth and just when she was beginning to think that something had gone wrong, Harry helped her get up on her legs.

She stumbled a bit, her legs a bit numb, and knees hurting because of the hard floor. She freed her arms then as well, holding onto his biceps as she balanced herself.

"Fuck you're such a wreck," Harry breathed, wiping away at her damp skin – not able to tell the difference between her tears and her sweat. "And because of me too," he chuckled, brushing her hair back as she caught up with her breath.

"C'mon, wanted to come down your throat, but I need something else more than that right now," Harry said as he picked her up bridal style in his arms, the veins in his biceps popping out.

"What is it?"

"Need to feel your pussy, darling."

When Harry dropped her on their bed, she immediately got up on her elbows, her knees touching but feet wide apart. "Fill me up, daddy? Want another baby," she whispered, looking at him through her lashes.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry groaned, climbing up on the bed while stroking himself. "Fucking hell – 'course I will," he told her as he sat back on his calves in front of her. "Gonna make me daddy of three, aren't you -- since you clear need one at all times, as well?" Harry teased her.

"Open your legs for me, wanna see ya." Y/n did as Harry told her and he swiped his middle finger through her folds, realizing that she was already soaking wet, ready to take him.

"Gonna give you all my babies, darling. Gonna fill you up to the brim and get you pregnant again," he rasped, lining himself against her hole, wetting his tip. "Fuckin' missed watching your belly swell up with a baby – my baby, " he said while watching himself disappear inside her pussy.

Beginning to thrust into her, Harry's hand came to knead one of her boobs. "Need to see you breastfeed a little one again – see those leaking nipples," he choked out, so turned on that he already felt close to climaxing.

"Gonna come for daddy, love?" Harry cooed at her, feeling her thighs begin to shake around his hips already. "Give it to y' husband."

Y/n lied there under him, shaking and moaning as the knot in her belly moved lower and lower. "Gonna cum- fuck –" she coughed, shaking harder as her skin felt like it was on fire when Harry started rubbing her clit.

"Come for Daddy, darling. Doing so good," Harry praised her, increasing his pace as he felt his own balls tighten. As he thumbed tighter and faster circles on her sensitive bundle of nerves, he felt her walls clenching around him.

"So good for me, so fuckin' good around me – fucking made for me," Harry grunted, feeling like he was going to combust.

"Co-coming daddy – O-Oh I'm cuming fuck-" Y/n stuttered, her back arching as Harry fucked into her pussy mercilessly. She could feel him pulsing inside her, and once he hit her g-spot again, she felt like she had been electricuted as she came on his cock.

Her cum went everywhere as Harry continued fucking into her, the bed creaking under his pace. "So good for daddy, look how much you came," he chuckled breathlessly, looking down where she had soaked him and the mattress, white strings of her cum sticking to his base.

Y/n intionally cleanched around him again, lying fucked out of her mind and breathless.

"Good girl- that's a good fucking girl," Harry cursed before he shot ropes of his cum deep in her pussy. Ramming into her pussy until she had milked him dry, he finally stopped when some of his cum started spilling out of her.

"Gonna fill you up again, make sure I put a baby in you," Harry told her as he wiped sweat off his forehead – grinning down at her when she hooked her arms under her knees, giving him full access to her pussy.

"Daddy's gonna give it to you good, sweet girl," Harry said gleefully, laughing when Y/n managed to swat at his chest.

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

[cyanidas]

⚠️SHSL Detective ! Kazuichi Souda 🕵️‍♂️

I'm hoping to make a small series of fun lil sprite edits with my talentswap AU that scrambles the talents of Class 77 and Class 78, and has its own weird lil story to go with it

(someday I'll think of a cool shorthand title. maybe. perhaps. as a treat. i would also like to write this story someday... we will see, since evidently im allergic to projects)

Headcanons? Headcanons for Detective Souda?

(also a lil comparison between this one and normal Kazu, and some AU info)

For this AU, characters' original body types, general interests/inclinations, and much of their personality is intact - the only parts of their personality that change are things influenced by their line of work alone. A lot of who we are and who we become tends to be influenced by our interests, which in turn is influenced by our upbringing, which also influences who we are... but I intend to keep the characters as close to how they are outside of their original talents as possible.

This AU also swaps the end twists between the 1st and 2nd games, and in some way keeps original relationships (like Makoto and Kyoko's partnership, and Souda's inclination towards Sonia). Some personality aspects are allowed to bloom or forced into hiding, depending on the upbringing I imagine would have been needed to allow these talents to shine within them and rise to Ultimate status.

ok Souda Headcanon Time:

The teeth are actually natural - he has a disorder which effects a number of things but especially effects his teeth, which are sharp as a result (something that evidently exists?? tho i forget the name, and it's not as perfect as drawn here ofc but.)

I think og-Souda would have a great skincare routine, one that Detective Souda lacks, since he never gained the motivation nor inspiration to care more about his appearance in front of others. So, he has some zits.

When he was very young, he was living with his father in their bike shop, but his dad went too far one night. A worried neighbor called authorities on them after witnessing his dad's aggression. At some point, the situation tips over, and Kazu's removed from his father's custody.

The detective investigating his father's abuse took care of him, and eventually adopted him after his dad was incarcerated. New Dad was not physically abusive, and genuinely cared for his new son, but due to his line of work he wound up kind of a sad sack of a person, so he's still a pretty cringefail/wetkitten father figure.

Kazuichi would accidentally stumble across his files around the house, and witnessed far more corpses than he likely should have as a child. Terrified at first, he eventually suppressed his fears in favor of trying to become a stronger person, and insisted on applying himself to learn his caretaker's line of work... inadvertently witnessing even more death and dying than he should have, from a young age.

As a young teen, he took interest in therapy and self care, and came to realize his trauma regarding his father and his guardian / upbringing. New Dad has his full love and respect and he tries to change for his son. This kind of expands Kazu's self-respect a little, while adding new depths to his hatred/fear of violence and conflict.

Due to his new caretaker, he never went to the same schools, and lost his original friends as a result - so he doesn't suffer from the same trust issues as OG-Souda, and as a result, easily clings to the people around him and allows himself to get lost in his head a tad more often than OG.

He specializes in forensic investigative work, because his brain is still wired better for calculations, spatial reasoning, and mathematical speculation.

He also still loves learning about how things work, and now, he's especially interested in how things have happened / come to be - finding satisfaction in analyzing evidence, instead of reverse-engineering parts/machines.

He even still has a mild interest in mechanics! But he is firmly convinced that being handy and technical is nothing to boast about.

He is also now convinced that he wouldn't make a good repairman/mechanic/engineer, anything of the sort. Part of this apprehension is due to his hatred of his father.

He is still pretty timid, and jumps easily at any sudden or loud noise, is afraid of the paranormal, gets upset easily when socializing, and feels terrified when there is any perceived threat.

However, death and dead bodies are some of the things that no longer frighten him. Upset, sure, but nothing like OG-Souda. He sees dead bodies as objects to investigate and solve, as opposed to feeling the horror of seeing a deceased fellow human, or feeling too overwhelmed if it's someone he knew. Because of this, it's easy for him to get lost in his work and feel totally disconnected while investigating.

[akutasoda]

HELLO HELLO 🐊 ANON. IS BACK HERE WITH ANOTHER WEIRD AHH REQUEST OR IDEA WHATEVER :333, soo may i pls pls request bsd men with a fem reader who is literally Krul Tepes from Owari No Seraph :D? Like she is an all mighty vampire queen idk i just saw her wiki but i dont know how to describe her personality 😭😭 i saw the anime a long time ago and i dont remember anything smh😢😢😢 but anyways thats all, could it be crack and fluff? :P the characters would be Fukuzawa (can u tell im a bif fan of this ancient man:3) Bram, Dazai and Mori (ofc if you write for him)

So heres the idea, fem reader like i said is a vampire too like Bram, she is a member of DoA but she didnt joined to 'end wars' she joined to end with humanity, like her wiki said 🤓🤓 she sees humans as mere cattle. But her wiki didnt said anything about her personality 😭😭 so i guess shes bratty and laizy bc she looks like it lol i love her sm.

Anyways thats all i have to say, if u dont want to make the request is fine i have other few ideas too lol, take care of yourself and drink water, thats all ty for reading me <3 also i saw u have a lot to write from other requests, no matter how late you make this one, take your time, the least i want you to be is stressed, byeee 🐊🐊

vampire among livestock

synopsis - how are they with someone like krul tepes

includes - dazai, fukuzawa, mori, bram

warnings - fem!reader, fluff, slight crack, wc - 755

a/n: hello hello anon!!!! i haven't actually watched or read ONS in ages either but we do love fukuzawa here.. take care of yourself aswell <3

osamu dazai ★↷

↪rather amused by the fact that the doa was harbouring two vampires among their ranks. and in honesty, he figured that you were probably just as concerning as bram and you both needed to be kept an eye on.

↪extremely intrigued when he heard that one of them, you, held the title of a 'queen'. he didn't understand why but it was interesting nonetheless and was curious as to how one obtained such a title.

↪mainly you for the fact that you're goals simply didn't stop at 'ending wars', you had a much wider goal of 'ending humanity' as a whole - seeing them as only mere livestock. this reminded him of fyodor a tad but atleast he only went after ability users.

↪your natural pride and temperamental nature definitely gave you an advantage at reaching your goal. dazai also sought a great amount of amusement from hearing your confident talks even when in battle.

↪what was also rayher noticeable was how you took a more natural role of leader even when you really weren't meant to - whether or not the other members would assist your goals or not was still unclear.

yukichi fukuzawa ★↷

↪the doa was already a loooming threat as is, he didn't need to learn that they had gained another member who also possessed vampire traits. it certainly was a concerning factor for the ada.

↪your rather excitable and outgoing personality definitely reminded him of a certain great detective, your slight bratiness didn't get really help either. that same sense of pride was definitely prominent aswell.

↪it was certainly interesting that you didn't share the same goals as your colleagues, not like you had to but it was certainly intriguing. although your goal was certainly more alarming and serious than just 'ending wars'

↪to him, your views on humans were certainly interesting... to say the least. he'd never ever seen someone that viewed humanity in such a derogatory way yet be so insistent on their beliefs.

mori ougai ★↷

↪for the most part, he stayed out of the doa affairs personally - only really sensing his own people to get involved. but he couldn't help bit become intrigued when news of two vampire like people being involved.

↪especially when he learnt that one of them allegedly held a title of 'queen', of what he didn't exactly know but it surely wasn't an everyday title. the same one who also apparently never held back in putting people in their place.

↪your goals, per say, were also extremely intriguing. seeing humans as mere livestock that would do anything for personal gain. he could see where you were coming from.

↪the natural sense of leadership that you carried certainly was challenging to overcome, especially paired with the pride that you carried yourself with. ypu certainly could become an issue, especially when you're desire to achieve your goals clearly wouldn't be stopped so easy.

bram stoker ★↷

↪when he first heard of the new member and then found out they were a fellow vampire like him, he was both relieved and slightly intrigued.

↪relieved, as he felt like you could be the only tolerable member of the doa. he didn't exactly want to be there and the people he was forced to work with weren't exactly the best. so he figured someone like you would be his only hope at getting along with.

↪intrigued, as he'd never met another vampire before - sure there were the one's under the influence of his ability but they were practically brain dead. you would be thw first vampire he met that he could actually talk to, even more intrigued by your title of 'queen'.

↪surprisingly enjoyed listening to you ramble on about how humanity were mere livestock - it was either that, complete silence or listening to fukuchi. bram could see where you were coming from and he could definitely help you if he chose to.

↪im honesty, he thought you were a better leader than fukuchi. you always took on a more authoritive role and he preferred when you did so, even more when you'd shut down fukuchi.

↪your temperamental nature could be a bit much for him sometimes but he adjusted to it when you started talking to him more often.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @vi-chan07

[depressedbagpipe]

A Heartrender's Fire: ch. III

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc

Words: 5199 Warnings: canon-typical violence and language, volcra, poor descriptions of grisha powers, grisha powers following the show's logic and not the one in the books, me making up names and titles. also justice for kovu cause the guy straight up disappeared mid-episode. also i don't speak ravkan (russian?) so let's pretend i know what I'm doing A/N: this took way too long because i essentially had a surgery performed on me last month and I'm *still* recovering. anyways, this is way too fun to write so don't worry, i am continuing this story. we're getting some backstories here, too, which i think is pretty neat.

Series Masterlist Previous chapter <> Next chapter

III: Like calls to like

The day woke up cloudy, but the spirits at the Volkvolny were as bright as the Sun Summoner’s light. Sturmhond had been preparing the ship for the trip to the Fold all morning, giving concise directions to the crew. Only a small group would be coming with him and his clients up in the air, and his sister quickly pointed out that she wasn’t staying behind, no matter how much her brother wanted to keep her safe on the ship while he returned to their homeland. 

“Anything happens on the Fold, you’ll need me,” she had argued, once again before Tamar and Tolya’s unimpressed faces.

“I have a Sun Summoner now. I think I’ll be fine.”

Ouch, Irina didn’t let the reaction show in her face. Tolya did feel her heart beat just a tad faster, though. Not that he was actively seeking her heartbeat out. He would often find himself listening unconsciously and could distinguish it from miles away. Not even metaphorically. 

“It’s my country too, Nikolai. Anything happens on the Fold, you’ll need me,” she repeated.

Sturmhond looked at his sister. Few times she ever addressed him with his name, right in the open, and he realized that no matter how much he wanted to keep his little sister away from danger, she would always find her way to it, face first, full charge.

“Fine,” he sighed. “You’re buying kvas later, though.”

“Deal.”

He still scowled when he took her in, smiling her victorious smile as she high-fived the twins, the three of them chattering amongst themselves as the ship took them closer to the black void that had haunted and fascinated the second prince for so long. Irina was fully aware of the danger, and despite her best efforts, a chill went through her spine at the thought of her first passage through the darkness, afraid, and alone. 

I have a Sun Summoner now. Sturmhond could lie to himself all he wanted, but his sister knew he was just as scared as her. Only now they had a living Saint with them, able to wield the power of two amplifiers and the hope of an entire nation. 

The Volkvolny sailed through the waves seemingly faster than ever. Irina almost wished the ship would stop and trap them on the sea forever, anything but returning to the one place she had been miserable at. No matter how many dirty taverns, war camps, and smelly docks she stepped on, the image of the Grand Palace was enough to fix a permanent frown on her otherwise peaceful manner.

But she was a big girl now. Whatever was waiting for her on the other side should fear her, too. She was powerful, not as much as Alina, or as intelligent as Nikolai, but she still had royal blood in her veins, which coincidentally pumped enough fire to bring down the whole palace with just a flick of her hand. She felt the warmth on her cheeks at the thought, and with a small smile, she looked up, finding Tolya’s gaze.

The giant was looking at her with an all-knowing grin, which she quickly replicated. He noticed her fingers had been absentmindedly tracing her own amplifier, barely taking it out of her clothes. He had noticed that little quirk of hers after she got it, almost a month into joining them on the crew. A failed smuggling operation on the Fjerdan border ended with Sturmhond almost decapitated by a wolf, and Irina melting the snow around them as she protected him from the pack that was sure to attack. Tolya had known Irina’s heart marched to a different beat than her brother’s, but it was only after seeing the flames around her body that he fully knew what was different about her. He had eyed her closely after that, always finding something new about her to stare at, from the way her eyes seemed to come alive in the sun and radiate warmth in the night. Or how she was grounding herself as her fingers danced down the wolf’s fang as if she too needed a reminder of the fire she carried in her soul. There were many things about Irina Lantsov that could be admired, according to Tolya. Not that he would ever tell her. 

Simultaneously, Alina was also stroking her wrists, feeling the amplifiers without looking up. Irina glanced at her, noticing the way her face lit up when Mal approached her again. For a second she longed for it, that love out in the open, despite the dire situation the young couple was in. Their conversation was soon cut short by her brother, perched nearby, waiting for his big entrance as he always did. His voice was loud, demanding, and powerful–everything he had been raised to be.

“Who says you’ll be on your own?” He raised his leg on a box and casually leaned up front. “I want a front-row seat to the light show, thank you very much. Plus, the King’s on the other side of the Fold, ergo, so is my payment.”

“We could definitely use your arsenal,” Mal reckoned.

“Maybe some kind of fortified carriage?” Alina thought.

“Carriage? Land travel is so boring. And that’ll take days!” Sturmhond walked away from them, giving Irina the silent indication she needed to brace herself for takeoff. “Come along! Prepare to decouple!”

Tolya and Tamar quickly jumped to the section, their faces glistening with anticipation.

“Kovu.” Sturmhond nodded at the Squaller behind Alina and Mal. He pulled the lever that engaged the sails. “Secondary mast released!” Kovu shifted the position of the sails so they stood horizontal to the ship, all of it under the astonished eyes of the Sun Summoner. “Engage secondary sail!”

And with another push upwards, the Hummingbird flew out of reach as the rest of the Volkvolny stayed on the water. Alina stumbled over to the wooden bench Irina had fallen asleep just a day prior and looked around in disbelief and fear as the air grew colder and purer the higher they flew in the sky. Tamar chuckled at the girl, enjoying the sight of the Sun Summoner scrambling to stay sitting. Even Irina grinned, feeling somewhat superior for a slight second.

Even the Sun Summoner feels fear.

She couldn’t help but comment. “It’s like watching a newborn discover the world.”

Tolya laughed, who had casually stood beside her, looking at the sea below them and enjoying the sight of the horizon. Irina felt a warmth in her cheeks that she was sure wasn’t because of the chill that settled around the Hummingbird. Instead of looking in Tolya’s direction, she faced her brother, who was also staring at Alina with amusement, only his eyes were kinder and curious, a sight Irina knew too well was only reserved for very few women out there. 

Yet Mal was the only one who got her to open her eyes and walk with her to the edge. Mal was the only one she trusted to catch her if she fell. Irina wondered what that would feel like, should the moment come. Who would come to her rescue, not for who she was, but because they cared about her. 

Kovu kept working the sails as they rapidly approached Ravkan soil, the sea blending with the land. Irina’s heart drummed in anticipation, looking back as they left the sea behind.

“How are you holding up?” Tolya suddenly spoke. He seemed nearer, their arms barely touching.

“Meh.”

He shook his head, his eyes shifting from the sky to the ground below them. “Why haven’t you told them about you being Grisha?” He lowered his voice. Irina looked around, sighing in relief once she saw her brother keeping his guests entertained. “It’s bound to happen, anyway.”

“And give away the big reveal? No way.” Irina scoffed, looking back at him for a second.

“Don’t be like your brother.” Tolya’s seriousness would’ve caught her off-guard, but she was used to his sudden tone changes. 

“I’m not like my brother. In fact, I’m better.”

“Something Sturmhond would say.”

“Something Ainthe would say, too,”

“See?”

“Shut up,” she giggled. He smiled too, missing the sound of her laugh. After the prior day’s events, he wouldn’t admit he would miss her laugh if she was gone. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m so used to hiding amongst Ravkans… I can’t tell how they’ll react.”

“They’re good people.”

“How can you tell?”

“I happen to have a way with hearts.”

“You don’t say.”

“Captain! The Fold’s in sight!” Tamar called, effectively interrupting the banter between the two Grisha.

“Next stop, destiny.” 

“For Saint’s sake, Sturmhond,” Irina groaned. 

“What? I’m trying to add dramatic effect here.”

“We don’t need it.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“Children.”

–·–

The Hummingbird entered the pit of darkness in complete silence. Thunder rumbled as the flying vessel tore through the barrier, and Irina took one last big gulp of fresh air before her body was completely surrounded by obscurity. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the black, and she released a silent breath, moving her head around as soon as she heard the first creature’s wail in the distance. Kovu kept the flying skiff afloat, his arms tiring but without complaint. Alina stood at the front, arms ready, while Irina gripped the ropes, looking wildly around. 

The crew seemed to gather behind Alina, with narrowed eyes, trying to find some hope to hold on to.

“I hate this place,” Mal commented in a low voice.

They all knew they had to be very silent if they wanted to make it out alive.

“Eh, it’s just a bit of pitch black and bloodthirsty monsters,” Sturmhond joked. He ignored the unimpressed faces of his clients and faced his family. “What’s not to love?”

He gladly received in his open palm his firearm which Tamar had thrown at him, never losing his mischievous smirk.

“Seems like a good day to kill some Volcra,” Tamar growled, getting her own weapons ready as well.

Tolya sighed. “I’d much rather a hot bath and a book of sonnets.”

Tamar stared at him in disbelief. Tolya was looking at the darkness with a longing look, picturing himself in the warm water, and Irina had to glance another way just to stop those thoughts from wandering elsewhere. She rolled the sleeves of her red coat up, her hands tense and ready to summon. Should Alina fail, she would become the first line of infantry. Irina stood next to Kovu, guarding the Squaller at the back while the rest of the team remained at the front.

“All good?” she asked the man, noticing the faint line of sweat on his forehead.

“Could be better,” he replied.

Irina sighed. “It won’t take much longer, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

The girl couldn’t say anything else, for she too felt the tension rising with every passing second. She knew it hadn’t been that much time since they entered, but any time spent inside the Fold felt like an eternity. 

Alina stood up near the edge, and the light show quickly began. With heavy breathing, the Sun Summoner created a light barrier that first extended around the Hummingbird, and then expanded into the black void. Irina stared around in amazement, a hole opening itself in front of them where the ancient mountains of Tsibeya stood at the horizon, welcoming them home once more. Light and heat overwhelmed Irina as beams of light danced on Alina’s arms. 

The barrier only got bigger from then on, and just as they were about to exit on the other side of the hole Alina had opened, things spiraled down. Alina’s light flickered, her arms flailing wild as she tried to call on her power once again, but nothing responded.

“Alina!” Mal kept calling her, but whatever made her stop had also thrown her off on the deck, the protective barrier of light gone with her.

The Volcra didn’t take long. Their growling was near, angry and ferocious, as the last beams of light extinguished around them. The Fold swallowed them whole again, and Sturmhond didn’t waste any time.

“Kovu!” he yelled at the Squaller as he took some steps back. “Get us out!” he stood before his sister, guns ready.

Kovu quickly rearranged the sails, making the ship fly faster at his mercy. Irina’s relief was short-lived, for one of the haunting monsters was now perched right beside them, ready to launch itself at its first victim.

Sturmhond quickly fired his revolver at it, making it stand back. The twins stood at the rear of the ship, the five of them standing in a circle as they protected each other’s backs. With Alina still on the floor and Mal perched over her, they weren’t the primary victims of the giant creatures.

Another one tore the main overhead sail open and landed on the deck right in front of the twins, who quickly got to work to end the monster’s life. The skiff was tilting dangerously, having lost its main support to stay afloat, but Kovu was doing everything in his power to get them out of the Fold on the other side while keeping the Hummingbird in the air. Irina didn’t need to be a genius to know they would not last long.

Sturmhond helped Tolya with a shot to where the Volcra’s heart supposedly was, and the giant quickly cut its head off. Irina assessed the damage, noticing the big hole in the fabric right above her head. She saw Alina finally stand up, still looking out of it, and because Mal only had eyes for her, neither of them saw the monster that was coming at a rapid speed to them.

Alina barely had time to look up before Irina stood protectively over them, firing a big and scathing flare up towards it, almost bursting it into flames as it fell through the void, fire following the Volcra as it sunk deeper into the Fold. 

Irina smiled at the sight, her fingers itching for more, standing tall and proud at her own display of power under the stunned faces of Alina and Mal.

“You’re Grisha?”

“No time to explain, Sol Koroleva,” Irina said.

The Hummingbird hit the exit of the Fold with a strong thud, nothing in comparison with their previous smooth entrance. The ship kept descending, gaining speed as it did so. One of the engines didn’t survive the attack, and the smoke was quickly turning into a well-spread fire at the front of the skiff. Irina was almost sent back flying, and would have crashed into the ship’s barrier if it hadn’t been for Tolya’s extended arm, catching her and bringing her closer to him, pinning her to the same rope he was holding on to for dear life as gravity pulled the crew down.

“Kovu, begin descent!” Sturmhond called, balancing on two feet, even though there wasn’t much Kovu could do. “Brace yourselves for landing!”

They were hurtling straight to the ground, and the Squaller could only do so much to prevent them from crashing completely. Everybody was trying to grasp at anything that could keep them up, bracing for the incoming impact. Irina felt helpless once again, but she didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself, because, with another jolt, the Hummingbird finally crashed, sending everybody down on the ground, impacting with the walls as the ship swept along the flat land and continued forward. Tolya kept a hand on the rope and another slithered around Irina’s waist, keeping her in front of her as the ship continued in motion through the meadow. Irina could only count the seconds until the movement stopped, closing her eyes in a silent prayer. 

Fortunately for her, it wasn’t long before it did.

Everybody was grunting and breathing heavily. Irina felt the burn on her hand from groping the rope for dear life, but Tolya didn’t take his arm off her.

“Is everyone okay?” Sturmhond asked loudly, quickly getting up.

Irina felt Tolya’s arm tensing slightly before finally releasing her, going to check on his sister who was still panting but seemed otherwise fine. 

“You good?” Sturmhond asked Irina, placing a hand on her back as he checked for any injuries on the younger girl. 

She nodded. “Yeah. You?”

He nodded too. That was all confirmation they needed before they both jumped over the deck onto solid ground, assessing the damage.

“Another one gone.”

Irina frowned. “This one worked. It was the Volcra.”

“It’s always the Volcra.”

But none of them could even breathe in relief before a bugle blew nearby. A regiment of the First Army had so lovingly decided to welcome them back to their land, with raised firearms ready to shoot at them, and its Colonel walking up front in a menacing stance.

The twins didn’t even shudder at the sight.

“Well, looks like we’re about to enjoy a traditional Ravkan welcome,” Tolya joked. 

Irina smiled, feeling the air charging with her brother’s boastful ego, about to make his big entrance. Maybe she was a bit like her brother. Not that she would ever admit that.

“You’ve crossed illegally onto Ravkan soil. Identify yourselves,” the Colonel called.

Sturmhond jumped down, standing in front of his crew with a straight back. He took off his bag, giving it to Tolya. “I’ll handle this.”

Irina stood back, repressing a smile.

“What are you doing?” Alina whispered at him but shut up at the look Irina sent her. She hid back slightly behind Mal, mainly because she was still the country’s number one fugitive.

“Identify yourselves at once or be shot.”

“Have I really changed so much, Raevsky?” Sturmhond, very slowly, started undoing his blue captain coat, leaving behind his fake persona and embracing his birthright before the Colonel’s own eyes. “I know it’s been a number of years, but people swear I remain boyishly handsome.”

He was wearing his First Army uniform underneath, and just as the green attire caught the Colonel’s eyes, he smiled.

“It can’t be.”

Tolya was being used as a coat hanger by that point, with Nikolai Lantsov standing proud and tall, with a devilish grin as he walked closer to the regiment.

“Yes, it is.”

“Moi tsarevich,” Raevsky mumbled before kneeling, the rest of the troop doing the same. “My prince. We’d all but given up hope.”

Nikolai chuckled as he shook the Colonel’s hand. Raevsky didn’t waste any time and turned around, facing his regiment and presenting the prince with a boisterous speech.

“I present Nikolai Lantsov, Major of the 22nd Regiment, Soldier of the King’s Army, Grand Duke of Udova, and Second Son to his Most Royal Majesty, King Pyotr the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne,” the Colonel called.

Irina mouthed the titles as Raevsky went on, and even the twins shared impressed looks at the many names their fearless captain bore.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Mal whispered, both him and Alina frowning. 

“Saints.”

Nikolai continued. “And in your own words, as I recall, ‘the greenest and most useless grunt you ever had the misfortune of commanding.’”

“Now, that sounds like you,” Irina spoke out loud, only noticing her mistake when the Colonel’s eyes glanced at her, also opening wide as he kneeled once more.

“Moi tsarevicha.”

The regiment, once again, copied their Colonel, kneeling as she walked closer to her brother, already regretting the attention she was receiving, but knowing the longer she stood without saying a word about her identity, the harder it would get later.

“I, once again, present Irina Lantsov, Grand Duchess of Mydrov, and First Daughter to his Most Royal Majesty, King Pyotr the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne.”

Nikolai chuckled when he noticed his sister's discomfort. “Thought you could get away with it?”

She groaned before motioning the Colonel to stand up. He took a step forward and bent down to kiss her hand, while Irina forced a smile onto her face.

“At your service, Your Highness.”

“We wanted to return sooner, but not without her,” Nikolai looked back at Alina.

Irina grimaced, knowing what was coming.

“May I present my esteemed traveling companion, former cartographer and sometimes Saint, Alina Starkov!” he extended a hand towards her, yet looked back at Raevsky. 

His sister shook her head, seeing how Alina was taking fast steps towards her brother. Despite her protectiveness over him, she knew he had it coming.

“Sol Koroleva. We heard you were dead,” Colonel Raevsky spoke with fear evident in his face, but his words died as soon as Alina yelled.

“You lying bastard!”

The punch to Nikolai’s face was met with utmost silence. The sound of betrayal was too loud to say anything else in return.

–·–

“That was fun,” Tamar said as they rode toward the Spinning Wheel.

“It was terrible,” Irina groaned, closing her eyes momentarily.

“You looked so cute there, like all stiff and stuff, and all the soldiers in awe like ‘Saints, the princess’,” Tamar kept going.

“I didn’t know where to look anymore! Everything was so awkward.”

Tolya joined. “Were they curtsying the right way?”

Irina groaned. Tamar laughed. 

The twins loved teasing the princess about her royal status every time they were on Ravkan soil. And while Irina pretended she couldn’t stand their banter, she knew she wouldn’t last a day without it. 

“How long do you think she’ll be mad at him for?” Tolya wondered.

The three of them looked back at where the Sun Summoner ignored the prince, looking at everything except the blond next to him. The three of them rode at the front, followed a few feet away by Nikolai and Alina, the rear of the party finished by a brooding Mal and a silent Kovu. Alina was still ignoring Nikolai, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t seem to get on her good side. 

“No one can stay mad at Nikolai for long, but she seems stubborn enough to try,” Irina commented. 

“You know what he’s planning, don’t you?” Tamar said as she looked ahead again, fixing her posture on her horse as she looked around, searching for anything dangerous that could find them on their route.

The princess nodded. “Yup.”

“And she’s not gonna like it.”

“Nope.”

Tamar groaned. “Did he tell you?”

Irina shrugged. “It wasn’t necessary. I always know what he’s thinking. I mean, when you grow up with him, it’s easy to read his mind. Heartrender or not,” she winked at her friend. 

“It reminds me of this poem by a Kerch author, about the bond between brothers–” Tolya started, but his sister interrupted him.

“Is he dead?”

Tolya stopped. “Yes?”

Tamar shrugged. “Then I don’t care. I only vibe with the living.”

“In which case, last time on Novyi Zem there was this street artist who…”

The three of them continued with their playful chatter as their party rode on, leaving behind Raevsky’s regiment and the Fold. The Spinning Wheel was already in sight, and Irina felt a shiver set permanently in her bones as she gazed at the fortified mountain. She had spent years sneaking up there with her brother, perfecting her techniques, helping him build the place from the ground just to create something that would somehow resemble her ways. It had been her personal sanctuary once, and it was now full of Grisha displaced by General Kirigan’s torment and greed. Irina wasn’t truly the patriot that her older brother was, she too felt the tug in her heart at the thought of all the families that had suffered at the mercy of a pointless war, and the generations of both Grisha and Otkazat’sya that had been divided by the envy of the few. Her own life had been a constant lie because of it. And she was about to face it all over again, no matter how much she had convinced herself that she wouldn’t ever have to.

Those thoughts lasted long enough to reach the Spinning Wheel. Irina was still frowning as she got off her horse but forced a relaxed grin as soon as her brother appeared next to her.

“Welcome to the Spinning Wheel. My inventions workshop. It’s become something of a refuge for Grisha,” Nikolai spoke, introducing the place to Alina. He made sure to wink at his sister at the last bit of information, which the Sun Summoner clearly caught.

“Is that why you care so much? Because of her?” Alina asked the prince.

He simply shrugged, suddenly not caring about boosting his ego further. He looked at his sister, who was looking at him with a knowing smile.

“She’s my family above all. And as I already told you, you do what you have to do to protect the people you love.”

Irina shook her head, yet warmth spread across her chest. Nikolai finding out about her being able to summon fire had been an accident, much in the same way she found out. They were both playing outside the Grand Palace borders, sneaking around their older brother, their nanny, and the two guards who followed the small party into the outer world, as the princess liked to call it. The storm found them sitting on top of a tree, and suddenly, Vasily and the rest of their chaperones were running towards the palace again, leaving the two lesser children to fend for themselves. Nikolai was gripping Irina’s hand tightly as they made their way down and followed the path they had taken out of the woods when lightning struck a nearby tree and cut it in half. The trunk was about to crush them when the girl raised her hands in a terrified scream, and the next thing she knew, a huge chunk of ash was dissolving into thin air. Nikolai, wide-eyed and drenched, only took his sister’s hand once again and ran with her back to the palace. Without saying a word they sneaked past the guards at the entrance and escorted her to her quarters, helping her dry off. He sat her near her chimney, and with a silent nod, they both agreed no one ever would know about it. When she woke up the next day, Baghra was sitting by the window in her room, looking at the poor unfortunate royal soul with a sad expression on her pale, aging face.

–·–

“We’ve received accounts of First Army units found massacred, here, here, and here,” Nikolai pointed at the map. The improvised war room stood on one of the balconies overlooking the main entrance, and his most trusted advisors –namely, his sister, Alina, and Mal–, looked down as his fingers traced the old ink on the yellowing parchment.

“Too far from the border to be Shu incursions,” Mal commented.

“Or Fjerdan.” Alina kept her hands close to her, her hands almost itching to touch the intricate patterns on the paper, suddenly missing her simple life as a cartographer, before the entire world fell down on her shoulders.

“There’s good evidence that these units were holding Grisha captive. Some reports say soldiers were mutilated. Some… cut in half.”

Alina sighed. “It’s Kirigan, isn’t it.” But she didn’t even have to ask to know the answer.

“We haven’t been able to find his base camp–”

Mal shook his head in disbelief. “There’s no way he survived the Fold.” 

“He survived it before,” Alina cut him off. “Besides, he’s the only one who can do the Cut. Baghra, yes, but this is him.”

Irina shuddered at the mention of her old teacher. The only Grisha who knew about her back at Os Alta. The only one who never treated her as a porcelain vase, but instead built her up to become strong and fierce in her abilities. With a frown, the princess realized she had missed the old hag. She could only pray the General had spared her.

“If he’s alive, it’s only a matter of time before word reaches him about your attempt in the Fold,” Nikolai voiced it carefully, but his statement stung Alina.

“‘Attempt,’” she repeated. 

“No disrespect meant.”

“No, you’re right. That’s what it was. An attempt,” she still sounded defeated. “You three saw my light. It was… strong and angry and dangerously off-kilter. I can try to master what I have, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough.”

“We need to find the third amplifier,” Mal finished for her.

“The firebird,” Irina spoke, surprise laced in her tongue. 

Nikolai stepped away from the table, turning around as if to follow his train of thought, his head orchestrating their next steps as they continued the meeting.

“The more we search for it, we are at the mercy of your protection in this country.”

Alina searched Irina’s eyes, desperate to get her point across. And Irina already knew what her brother was about to say.

“Well, until then, a proposal.” Nikolai turned around. Irina closed her eyes. “We can try to stop this country from falling apart and tell the Fjerdans to shove their bounty up their ass in the process.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Alina asked.

“I bring you under the wing of the Royal Family, our name becomes a shelter to you, and a banner under which we can enact change.”

Mal frowned. “Your name?”

Nikolai nodded. Irina shook her head.

“Wait,” Alina caught on. “This is a ‘proposal’ proposal. You’re suggesting marriage.”

Mal looked ready to throw himself off the balcony at that point, whereas Alina seemed she was going to be sick any second from then on.

“Alina, I’m not proposing a love match. Just a political alliance of Grisha and Otkazat’sya.”

“Well, that’s just what royal marriages are, aren’t they? Strategy,” Mal was looking everywhere but the future royal couple.

“Precisely. Maybe we never get to marriage. An engagement signals a strong commitment to cooperation and it will allow us to enact meaningful change for Grisha and Ravka,” Nikolai explained. 

“Don’t you have a Grisha sister, too?”

“Leave my sister out of this, Mal.”

Irina stepped forward. “Mal, I know Nikolai’s plan sounds crazy but it’s our safest bet. Nobody knows about me being a Summoner and the court will not take likely to the revelation. There’s never been a Grisha on the Ravkan throne and I certainly will never be the first one.”

“I’ve seen what you both mean to each other. I understand if you decline, but I hope you weigh the options and consider the benefits,” Nikolai nodded his head in silent farewell, and both royal siblings left the couple to talk it out.

On the way down, Nikolai grabbed her arm. “How long have you known?”

She frowned. “About the proposal? Since you saw her face on the posters.”

It was his turn to frown. “Not even I thought about that then. It was after she got on the ship.”

Irina smiled mischievously at her brother. “Guess I’m smarter than you now.”

He pinched her side, making her giggle.

“You should rest before tonight. Gotta be patient enough not to punch Vasily in the face.”

“How did you know I was thinking about doing that?”

Nikolai smirked. “Guess I’m still smarter than you’ll ever be.”

“You little piece of shit.”

Next chapter

[aspiring-holistic-otaku]

Season 3 Ramble #8 - A is for Anime(solo reprise) ver.3

Hadn't been doing the run-up posting I usually do for my rambles due to work and such but here we are!

How this ramble is gonna go is I'm gonna list my top 3 movies watched this month then top 3 series for same, AAnd now that I actually have a semi decent number of anime under my belt I'm gonna do a quick top ten of both at the end.. after that if you wanna stick around, instead of the usual post ramble ramble, I'm gonna add a bit of the recording I did with the homies, as a sort of prelude and promise that we will have that conversation in future. I really think it's an important and potentially fruitful discussion to have.

But In any case getting into the episode now

TOP 3 MOVIES 

3) Belladonna Of Sadness (1973, 1hr33m, Mushi Production)

Crazy movie. I don't think I can accurately talk about it without it sounding too wHild… I'm still gonna, but I'm gonna open with what Google says about it.

A peasant woman is raped by the local lord on her wedding night. To take revenge, she makes a pact with the Devil himself who appears as an erotic sprite and transforms her into a black-robed vision of madness and desire.

As I said.. wHild… and that's just the summary…the details of the actual movie are like…woah.. but in any case it was great, actually something that'd been on my watch list for a good long while so I'm glad I could actually finally watch it. 

Glazing over the plot which the summary does a pretty good job of covering anyways, the visuals were absolutely stunning. They're by Yoshitaka Amano, probably most famously known for his final fantasy illustrations. For the most part the visuals are done in what looks like watercolor paint, which is just wild in my mind,, like wHy?? He definitely pulled it off though which is even more crazy cause a good amount of it was done in an almost slideshow kinda way which I usually don't like but he still pulled it off…crazy…. Should be kinda obvious from the summary but moderate tw. Still definitely strongly recommend.

Small sidenote - in making this ramble I found out that belladonna of sadness is actually part of a trilogy called animerama,, so now I have 2 more old ass movies to look forward to. Hopefully they're just as good or even better…

2) Lupin IIIrd: The Gravestone of Daisuke Jigen (2014, 51m, Telecom Animation Film)

Ever since I watched my first lupin movie 3 years ago I've been locked in. In fact it was such a good watch that I've limited myself to one a year. Thankfully the trend of awesomeness has continued up to this point but enough premature glazing. 

This movie is basically centered on Jigen, as you can probably tell from the title. Just a point of clarity for those who don't know much of anything about lupin, Jigen is basically the gunslinger of Lupin’s crew. So as this is basically his movie, he's ofc facing off against a gunslinger. The title is so named because this guy, the gunslinger they find themselves up against, makes graves for his victims before killing them. Nobody's ever gotten away from him. In fact he's so good that he uses dice to decide how many bullets he'll use to take out his target. Ice cold mf.

Pretty good action from start to finish though I’m a tad disappointed there wasn't more gun-slinging, though from what I gather Jigen’s whole thing is speed, accuracy and efficiency,, so maybe a barrage of bullets wouldn't have made sense. In any case we get to see all of the crew besides goemon, dry cry as he's my personal fav but still solid. The art direction was great from all angles as I've come to expect. Not too much to say cast wise as on Lupin gang’s side there's a cumulative effect of greatness where every time you see them it's generally a continuation of past interactions, as in there's an obviously rich history there. That being said, the dynamic is still great and from what I've seen, you can pick up any of the movies and immediately love them. But anyways, on the other hand, the main villain/organization felt a bit hollow. Which is something I've come to kind of expect with movie exclusive antagonists in general. It's just a matter of time efficiency. I think when it comes to anime movies, you're generally not watching for the antagonist unless they have to do with the main storyline. Otherwise you're kinda watching to see how the protagonist will beat them in about an hour. Though I will say as far as visuals can speak, they definitely spoke volumes in that sense. Also, given the geopolitical climate we're in, I liked the villain/organization and how they were handled... trying not to spoil too much there but if you so much as peek between the lines you probably get it.. In any case definitely highly recommend.

Side note - every lupin movie I watch further solidifies my decision to get into the series… just watching the movies first for some reason…

1) Mind game (2004, 1hr44m, Studio 4°C)

Honestly,, I don't even want to speak on it for fear of sullying its greatness. It's one of those life changing before and after watches fr. This is something I'd been really wanting to watch since ver.1 when I started getting into Studio 4°C through their awesome anthologies genius party and genius party beyond.

I'm gonna default to the anilist description here which is kinda almost decent relative to the sheer phenomenal amazingness of this movie.. but I digress.. so according to anilist..

Audiences will begin to grasp what they are in for early on, as loser Nishi, too wimpy to try to save his childhood sweetheart from gangsters, is shot in the butt by a soccer-playing psychopath, projecting Nishi into the afterlife. In this limbo, God - shown as a series of rapidly changing characters - tells him to walk toward the light. But Nishi runs like hell in the other direction and returns to Earth a changed man, driven to live each moment to the fullest.

The last bit hints at the greatness of this film. Right there that small difference in speech speaks volumes in my personal world of language. It's not just a movie. It's film. 10/10. absolute cinema.

As I said I don't even want to talk about it too much because I don't think it possible to do it justice through mere words, but I'm gonna put a bit more glaze on it before I wrap up the movie list and move on to series. This movie beat out studio ghibli’s, Miyazaki directed, howl’s moving castle in the 2004 Japan Media Arts Festival. Further, this was a debut work for the director Masaaki Yuasa, who would later go on to found science saru studio. I was so moved by this movie that I've decided I will watch everything masaaki yuasa has and will ever direct. 10/10. highly recommend. end of glaze.

hm: under the dog, Mezzo forte, blood: the last vampire, 4°c (sweat punch, short peace from last time)

Top 3 Series

3) Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (2023-2024, 28ep 24m, Madhouse) 

This is something I'd been seeing around for a bit but was intentionally ignoring because for some reason I got it in my head that it was based on this sad little one shot called The hero’s party on their way back home, and I was NOT watching an entire series based on that.

In any case, in talking with my bros recently they all insisted that it was the best anime released in the past year, one of them declaring it was in his top5 all time. So I pushed past my fears and binged it all in a day. V thankful for the bros.

The story here follows an elven mage called frieren and her life after defeating the Demon King and bringing peace to the world.

As you can tell from the summary it's largely a slice of life but it has its fair share of well placed scraps. It fills a certain fantasy gap where you get that day to day rose tinted indigenous peoples’ lifestyle feel, that I think most people would want if they actually lived in a fantasy setting,, not that constantly under threat from dragons and shit usually focused on. And as I said there are some well placed fights. The pacing also felt perfect. Like I almost felt bad binging it because I could tell that once a week watch would've been REALLY good… one of the few series I don't want to read the manga for, I'll definitely be watching weekly whenever season 2 drops..

Great cast though kinda small, pretty brilliant visuals and sound direction. Very very very solid all round, what I'd call supremely balanced tbh. One of the bros put it really well in that he said he has synesthesia so everything has colours for him, and the colours of every aspect of this show came together to paint the perfect picture. Now I don't have synesthesia myself but I could definitely feel, not just see, how well orchestrated it all was. definitely strongly recommend.

2) Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (2007, 27ep 24m, Gainax)

Yes. It's 2024 and I’m just watching gurren lagann and you'll hear why that is if you listen in to the post ramble ramble,, but suffice to say, you can never be late to true greatness and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is definitely in that category. 

Firstly I kinda watched it as a meme seeing as last ramble I focused on the supposed relationship between sacred geometry and JoJo's bizarre adventure… if that sounds crazy then you should listen to the ramble… not that it'll sound less crazy but..yh.. anyways I was vaguely aware that gurren lagann focused a bit on spirals so I tapped in for the meme. 

To summarize the lengthy anilist summary,, In a far away future, mankind lives underground in huge caves, unknowing of a world above with a sky and stars. yada yada yada blah blah blah Simon, Kamina, Yoko, and the small yet sturdy robot, Lagann, journey to the world above and find that the surface is a harsh battlefield, and it's up to them to fight back against the rampaging Beastmen. Pierce the heavens, Gurren Lagann!

Again I'm gonna fall back on the words of another of my bros from the session, I think he had it in his top 10 or 5,, but he said he considers gurren lagann to be a perfect starter anime in that it perfectly showcases almost everything the medium of anime has to offer. Action, comedy, philosophy, slice of life, amazing cast, brilliant visual direction, solid sound direction. etc. the term “starter anime” gets thrown around a fair bit and I usually think it's a rubbish term because of how insanely diverse the medium is and how specific different individuals tastes can be,, so like to say this or that anime is a good “starter anime" never made sense.. but when he said it, that was the very first time I actually thought it made sense..

Definitely super highly recommend, a recommendation to pierce the heavens if you will.

1) Akiba Maid War (2022, 12ep 24m, P.A Works)

Gotta say it was a tough call between this and gurren lagann but it won out for 3 reasons. #1 it's shorter, and that's not a lazy pov, I just personally tend to give more ratings to shorter series in general because I think being able to do something amazing in a short amount of time deserves more props than doing so in a longer span of time. personally.. #2 it was FUNNY. AS. FUCK. I'm coming to realize that when it comes to anime specifically, comedy may be my favourite genre. I can't quite put my finger on why but I think it has to do with how far animation as a medium can push physical humor.. idk.. lastly… idek why I felt the need to justify all this…it's my list… but lastly,, and most importantly. maids. enough said..

The story here follows the dealings of different maid cafes in the town of Akihabara. I say dealings because in this show the maids basically act like Yakuza, having turf wars, extortion rackets and drug trades(just a point of clarity for those who've never heard the term, you've probably guessed but Yakuza are basically Japanese gangsters). In any case this is all under the table as they pay off the police and act the usual cutesy part in front of civilians. That may be a bit of a spoiler but a gif of it was going around a lot last year i think,, with this one maid gunning down a bunch of other maids and it was made to look like an idol rave with the glow sticks and everything + the “twist" if you can even call it that happens in episode 1 so it's not like some major turning point spoilers + "wars” is literally in the title, so with all due respect, you can bite me.. 

In any case, as I said this shit was funny ASF, mainly because of the opposing imagery of maids and yakuza they somehow pulled off perfectly.. like I can't begin to explain how crazy it is to see maids cussing each other out with the most obscene language, fighting it out in the craziest brawls, then turning around and going “welcome home master”. 

Fairly small but very strong cast, all funny in their own unique ways from the hardened criminal type to the frightened newbie. the visuals were great, sounds direction solid, I really really loved the op and ed, cause they just perfectly matched the shows energy. Kinda episodic for the most part but that fit the crazy, “you'll never guess what happens next” energy… Just great overall like wow.. a bit surprised I haven't seen it around more but I realize comedies don't tend to get that much ratings on release, if they do get attention it's further down the line as a “hidden jewel".

But in any case yes. 10/10. definitely highly recommend. please go watch this. have a good laugh, give thanks for life and go see the beauty of the world.

hm: Flying Trapeze, Goodbye Mr. despair (from s2)

Top 10 Movies (no order)

A Silent Voice, Memories (anthology directed by katsuhiro otomo), One Piece Movie 6: Flower Island, Tokyo Godfathers, Mind Game, Ocean Waves, Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind, Sword Of The Stranger, the Lupin movies (just watch all of them lol), Maquia: When The Promised Flower Blooms

hm: Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop, Animatrix, GITS Innocence, Wolf Children, Princess Mononoke

Top 10 Series (no order)

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Akiba Maid Wars, Nichijou, Hyouka, Mononoke, Sonny Boy, Tatami Galaxy(all spinoffs, movies, everything.), Steins;Gate, Dorohedoro, Angel Beats, Durarara!!(all seasons)

hm: Baccano!, Pluto, FLCL up to Progressive, Cowboy Bebop, chainsaw man

[sassyandclassy94]

Last Line Tag

I tagged myself because last I knew, America is still a free country, darn it.

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you like).

I’ve been working on multiple things so I’m gonna post a few. Buckle up, buttercups.

Untitled Don x OFC oneshot:

“You look nice!” She stated as she quickly glanced at him from his head down to his feet. His hair was combed neatly (like it always was) and he was wearing his Sunday best: black pleated slacks, a crisp and pressed white shirt with a subtle design on the fabric, suspenders (despite belts slowly becoming more affordable again), a dark tie with a dotted design, and Oxford dress shoes. His black blazer was either hanging off the door or draped across their bed but once he’d put it on, it would complete his look. He shot her a sideways glance and nodded before she headed for their bedroom.

Untitled whump fic about Bobby (which may or may not be based on personal experiences)

But now? As the afternoon was coming to a close? Things were not so great. He started feeling off when he was getting dressed for the crew’s victory party; he felt tired and sore but chalked it off as simply being in the sun all day. It wasn’t until he got back to his room that he saw how red he really was. Sure he noticed his arms getting a tad pink but now he saw how bad it really was. His reflection nearly caused him to jump out of his skin.

“Oh this is just perfect…” he said to himself as he inspected his arms.

“I Feel Like Gold” (part of my ‘He’s Progressed and She’s Impressed’ series)

“And it meant I did my job well, right? Because,” he paused, looked down for a moment before he lifted his eyes to her again. “It sure sounded, and felt, like I did.” He flashed her another lopsided grin.

Kate felt blood rush to her cheeks and shyly grinned at him. “You, you did.” She stammered. “You definitely did.”

Untitled Bobby x OFC fic (I stress about titles later, okay??)

“Don’t make a scene,” he scoffed. “You say that I’m not good enough because of my height and you tell me not to make a scene?” His voice reached his coxswain volume and when Tilly tried to shush him, he waved her off. “No! You don’t get to shush me. You know what? Fine. I don’t care if you find my height undesirable. Really, I don’t care! But what’s really pathetic is how you led me on over this entire year!”

Swan Song - an ANGSTY SwanFire story told through Henry’s point of view (see?? I’m still writing SwanFire, girlies!)

“I just can’t. But I want you to have it. Maybe you can give it to the girl you decide to marry one day, I don’t know. But I know you’ll keep it safe for me.” I noticed tears forming in her eyes again. “This was the first gift your father ever gave to me,” she paused and smiled fondly at the memory. “For my eighteenth birthday. He said I didn’t seem like the diamond earrings kinda girl - which of course he was right - and knew I loved swans… so, he got me this.”

“Secrets, Lies, and Blessings” (this one is a THORN in my side, I swear I’ll never get it done)

“No,” Emma shook her head and looked back at her reflection. “I just don’t wanna, ya know, squish the little prince.” She may not have been pregnant for very long but she was already becoming very protective of her unborn son.

Yeah, no… I’m not tagging THAT many people. I don’t even FOLLOW that many people…

No pressure Tags: @coneygoil @eviebelieve-y @swanfireprincessmydear @heatherfield @morningdawnbreaks (do you write?? I can’t even remember, it’s late here in my corner of the world so if you don’t I’m sorry😭) @strangethings-everywhere @okieedokes @fan-writer02 @selkiesstories I don’t know… if I missed anyone, or if you’re a writer and want to participate, have at it! You can even say I tagged you!

[leseigneurdufeu]

Can you please when you have time ofc, write a list of the books any French high-school graduate should have read? Like the baccalaureate curriculum for example. I'm seeking to catch up my general knowledge of universal literature + attempt to read directly in French

Sure!

Now curriculum may vary and there was a reform of education since I left high school so it might have changed but what any french graduate should have read: (authors in bold, titles in italics)

Poetry (middle ages and early Renaissance):

Any three poems from Joachim du Bellay or other poets from the Pleiade. Most important is Heureux qui comme Ulysse.

Also look up who the Pleiade were.

16th and 17th centuries novels:

La Princesse de Montpensier, by Madame de Lafayette. 90 pages but very, very antiquated language.

Gargantua, by Rabelais. It's NOT cheating to take the modern-french translation. Native speakers do it. It's not cheating either to just dump it half-way through because you don't understand half of it. Native speakers do it too.

La Belle et la Bête, by Madame Leprince de Beaumont.

Any fairy tale by Perrault.

Les Liaisons Dangereuses, by Choderlos de Laclos. Please. Do. Not. Read. It. It's awful, the protagonist rapes a 15yo girl but it's ok because him loving her is making him into a better person (Yikes), the whole thing is about the protagonist and his long-time on-and-off girlfriend (who's married to someone else) teaming up to dirty/perverse two (maybe three?) innocent young ladies. It's studied because it's a classics, not because it's good. Please. Don't subject yourself to it.

Les Lettres Persannes, by Montesquieu. letters from a bunch of fictional characters to the others, two iranians (but at the time Iran was called Perse) visit France and criticize everything (way for Montesquieu to criticize but be able to say "nah it's my characters saying that not me"). TW of suicide and incest iirc. Not something too graphic either, since it's always second-hand testimonies or third-hand.

Theatre of the 17th and 18th centuries:

Le Cid, by Pierre Corneille.

At least one play by Molière. Can't recommand because I don't remember much of it. Do read summaries for a few of his plays though because some characters names have passed into common language to mean the type of characters they were (a Harpagon is going to be a greedy man, a Tartuffe a guy pretending to be devoted but being a hypocrite...)

Le Mariage de Figaro, by Beaumarchais. It's a political satire but also people are jumping from the window so that the husband doesn't find them in the lady's room. Basically.

If you fell in love with theatre at that point, you can look up Racine but fair warning, all of those have old language but Racine (along with Corneille) have very old language.

19th century novel:

Short version of Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo. I'd recommand the long one but only the short one is required and also the long one has 40 pages of description of the parisian sewers system with no relevance at all to the story and that's not the only long digression so... Do what you want.

A book by Honoré de Balzac, whichever you'd want. If you want to read the whole series, it might be best to look up the order on wikipedia, they'll know better than me. Basically him and the next author on the list had a bibliographic universe before Marvel made it cool. 60-or-so books with common characters but not the same protagonists. I'd recommand you simply go with Le Lys de la Vallée, slightly royalist and apparently the easiest to read? (so i've been told but i didn't read it myself so...)

Any book by Emile Zola. I'd recommand Au bonheur des dames because it has to be the only one with a happy ending and a cute romance out of the 40-and-more books by Zola.

Bel-Ami, by Guy de Maupassant. The protagonist has no morals but it's funny. Kinda.

Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert. A tad bit depressing. Not the most interesting either. But it's one of the few that have been studied more than once in my schooling so I know it's an important one.

19th century theatre:

Hernani, a play by Victor Hugo. Tragedy, so a bit sad. But do look up the Battle of Hernani (sorry there's not a big choice of languages for this one on wikipedia). Basically founded the french romantic genre. Quite a scandal.

If per chance Hernani was love at first reading for you, you might also like Ruy Blas, still Hugo, although i found it a bit less good. If you want a ridiculously overdramatic, over-the-top movie freely inspired by Ruy Blas but in which no one dies, you've got La Folie des Grandeurs, a comedy with Louis de Funès.

Cyrano de Bergerac, by Edmond Rostand, and if the style of the author makes you want to read more, go for l'Aiglon, which is about Napoleon's son but is a bit sadder.

19th century poetry:

Les fleurs du mal by Baudelaire. Awful. Simply awful. I mean you can try a few. I hated them all. Not necessary to have read all of them by any mean.

20th century:

A Ionesco play, either La Cantatrice Chauve or Rhinoceros, for the Theatre de l'Absurde. La Cantatrice Chauve is funnier I think.

Actually I won't give you any novels from that century because most of the ones studied suck and also it's for post-bac (after graduation) studies so it doesn't fall under the ask.

Now if I had to give you a few classics to read, what I'd recommand:

Les Trois Mousquetaires, by Alexandre Dumas.

Le Comte de Monte-Cristo, (ibidem). Luckily this one is on substack format at the cristo account.

Notre-Dame de Paris, by Victor Hugo.

I think that's all. If you've got any more questions, about books or about whether or not it's worth reading That Book instead of watching an adaptation or reading a summary, or which adaptation of, for example, Les Miserables, is the best, I'm here to answer them.

[clavissionary-position]

To the everlasting rivalry battle between Gilbert and Chevalier I think Gilbert wins in terms of swagger because lord sounds so much cooler

Lord Gilbert > Prince Chevalier

Omg so okay, it occurred to me the other day that Prince Chevalier basically means "Prince Knight" or even "King Knight" in English. On the surface level, it sounds a tad cheesy (I'm sorry for saying this!). But if you frame it like "prince of knights" or "king of knights", it not only sounds cooler but it becomes extra-meaningful and 😭 Actually, maybe others find the latter variation cheesy-sounding as well, but I would unironically call a fic "King of Knights". All this just to say, Chev's name is the gift that keeps on giving 🥺

But to your point, while I'm fully in support of Gilbert winning, I'm of the impression that "lord" is more of a generic title to signify a general social hierarchy (and some other socio-political baggage) rather than to delineate a specific station? Though, admittedly that might be a very broad claim that overlooks real-world nuances which Cybird may have chosen to adopt for their fictional setting.

Still, if that logic has any merit, I wonder if Chevalier doesn't get addressed as Lord Chevalier from time-to-time as well. That being said, you might find Lord Gilbert still beats Lord Chevalier, yourself, rendering my point moot XD Nothing wrong with that ofc!

To sandwich back to my initial tangent, Gilbert von Obsidian in English means The Bright Promise of Obsidian*. And although you didn't ask, I shall tell you I love that meaning and I have thoughts on it, but anyway! Thank you for popping by! I personally hope Gilbert keeps up his lead in the JP elections!!

*meaning correction here

[combeferres-mothematics]

ANOTHER fic question hehehehe....im so interested in ur Joly sick fic actually....did he manage to diagnose himself!! Did no one believe him until he actually started showing clear symptoms and he was like "I told you so!! 🤮🤮"....and...is he gonna get better? 🥺

LKJAFSKJHLSLFHALKJFHSAGLK OKAY YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A RIDE. I have not only one, but multiple (this remains to be known how many) Joly sickfics XD

Once again below a cut because... I'm scared of how many I'm going to find in my drafts- (Sickfics mayyy be my favorite thing to write)

Even the Darkest Nights will End (I shortened the title significantly here lmao) - The one I talk about the most, and thought was ALMOST done... almost 2k words ago... (Enjolras, Joly, and Grantaire are now bothering Combeferre for stickers, so idek what's happening anymore) The summery is quite old, I think I wrote it 300 words in, and with a 103 degree fever (which is how this whole fic started tbh) XD This has also been one of my pet projects since... uhh... january? so there's a LOT of lore

It starts out with him just sitting in bed trying (keyword trying) to sleep, he's already very clearly ill, He's already home tested himself for several different things, and they all came back negative, so he's very adamantly trying to convince himself that it's just a cold, nothing worse. He's banished Bossuet to a different bed in hopes that he won't get sick (He will. It's inevitable, they share EVERYTHING), and he's feeling very lonely :((

And I've noticed, at least in my experience, that anxiety about these things is SO MUCH worse when it's the middle of the night, and everyone's asleep, and you don't want to wake anyone up to talk you down from thinking it's worse than it really is. This is the really angsty part of the fic if you can't tell already XD

Plus, a little snippet, I don't think I've shared anywhere yet! (do be warned mentions of worrying about throwing up)

Enter Enjolras: He's working late, and when he sees Joly he's very worried he's getting a lecture on healthy sleep habits (I say as if I know what good sleep habits are) And then as soon as he sees that Joly's been crying he instantly launches into "Oh shit my friend is anxious time to fuss over them" mode"

He and Joly proceed to have a very nice conversation that was surprisingly theraputic to write (I may have projected just a tad), and then Enj decides he's going to get Joly a little something small to eat. at 4am. Leading to one of my favorite scenes here XD

And now we have Combeferre!! :D And Joly's feeling a bit more cheerful now that he's not alone, left to stew in his anxiety.

I forgot I wrote this, but now I'm cackling over the mental image of lost duckling Enjy

Combeferre quickly banishes Enjolras because he's hovering, and things get angsty for a minute again (NOT RELATED TO THE BANISHMENT OF ENJ)

And here's Enjolras being autistic about the way Ferre's clothes smell :)

And then everything is good again, and Joly and Enj manage to convince Ferre to give them a sticker (And then Grantaire comes in to be like "If you give me a sticker too, I won't tell any of the others you gave out stickers")

And that's where this one ends off, so far lol. Joly does in fact get better in this one :D

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS ONE :D (don't mind the title or summery, I started it after being awake for 30+ hours)

This one is nowhere near as developed as ETDNWE, but it's a Everyone Lives, No One Dies au set in canon era, about ehhhhhh, maybe 3-5 months after the barricades? I'm still researching when Cholera ended there, and I think I found that there was another, very small jump in cases around Nov. 1832 (where all of them died), but don't quote me on that, I haven't looked at those sources in a while, so I could be misremembering.

Joly ofc is very nervous when the symptoms here start, since.. Cholera. But Bossuet keeps trying to gently assure him it's going to be alright/maybe it's just anxiety

But then things are worse by morning, and Joly scares the absolute Crap out of Bossuet by refusing to tell him what he thinks he has. He KNOWS. what it is though, he's seen it enough times for there to be no mistake whatsoever.

And Bossuet proceeds to leave the house before even getting dressed (Though he does grab his hat on the way out) And heads to go to the house on Rue Plumet to find Enjolras, who ofc will know where Combeferre is, cutting down the search time significantly.

(This is indeed and Enjosette siblings au as well)

And that's about as far as I've plotted for that one. and as for if Joly will be alright... >:3 We will see. *ominous voice*

Ty for the ask!! :D I always love discussing the sickfics XD, and now I'm very workpilled for both of them, so we'll see how that goes-

[king-finnigan]

wingless thing

this is a oneshot that i was planning on turning into a full series at some point, but i never really had any ideas for the main storyline. so here it is, now; it’s an AU where everyone on the continent is born with wings. the only people who don’t have them are witchers.

Geralt sighs as he looks up at the tavern, built into the side of the mountain. There is no path up, no way to get there other than flying. Which wouldn’t be an issue for anyone else.

But unfortunately, Geralt isn’t anyone else.

He lets out an annoyed huff and Roach bristles softly, pushing at his shoulder with her nose. He pats the side of her neck, tangling his fingers through her brown mane. “Sorry, girl,” he mutters. “Gonna have to sleep outside again tonight.”

He doesn’t really know what he expected. Posada is full of mountains, of course people are going to build as high up as they can to get away from the creatures and monsters on the ground. Still, he’d been looking forward to a proper meal and a soft bed for the night, but it looks like he’ll have to make do with his bedroll and some dried meat. He always does.

He takes the saddle and reigns off of Roach and starts setting up camp – laying down his bedroll, gathering wood for a fire, checking his dwindling supplies. He counts his coin, finds out he’s still low on it and gold hasn’t magically appeared in his pouch since he looked this morning.

It’s the reason why he came here in the first place. Usually, he doesn’t venture this close to the mountains – the buildings always high up and only accessible from the air – but there haven’t been a lot of monsters in the plains and forests lately, so he had no other choice but to head east.

He looks up as he hears wings flapping, watches with a barely-hidden scowl when a young man descends from the air, softly lowering himself on one of the branches of a tree at the edge of the clearing. His feathers are a light shade of brown, almost golden in the late afternoon light, interspersed by darker ones painting long stripes across his wings. The young man cocks his head, keen, blue eyes taking in the sight of Geralt sitting on the ground, wingless.

“What are you doing down here?”

Geralt rolls his eyes, his already thin patience running out quickly. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Setting up camp.” Apparently this young man either doesn’t know what a rhetorical question is, or he’s unable to pick up on them. “But why down here?”

Geralt glares at him, narrowing his eyes at those golden-brown wings. The young man merely raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. Geralt sighs. “I can’t get up there.”

“Up where? The inn?” Geralt nods, and the stranger finally seems to get it, his eyes flicking to where Geralt’s wings should be, his mouth falling open in a soft ‘O’. He appears to figure out a lot of things in the next few seconds, his face going from confusion to realization back to confusion numerous times.

Geralt sighs, lighting the fire with a quick Igni, the blissful quiet stretching out between them.

“You’re the Witcher,” the young man says eventually. “Geralt of Rivia, the Butcher of Blaviken.” Geralt resists the urge to growl at the mention of that cursed town, his mind unhelpfully providing him with the memories of Renfri, of her blood coating his hands, of Stregobor cutting off her grey-and-white wings while the entire town chased Geralt away. He shakes his head to rid himself of the images.

Finally, the young man comes down from the tree, the tips of his wings dragging in the dirt behind him as he walks towards Geralt, extending his hand. Geralt doesn’t take it and looks away. Eventually, the young man gives up and sits down on the other side of the fire, big, blue eyes taking Geralt in, his brown feathers trembling slightly in excitement.

“I’m Jaskier, by the way.” Geralt doesn’t respond, but the young man continues regardless. “You know, I’m a bard. My lute is still up at the inn-“ he jabs his thumb up at the side of the mountain “-so you’ll just have to take my word for it, but it seems to me that you’ve got a bit of an image problem, Witcher. You know, I could be your barker-“

“No.”

“-spreading the tales of- of… Geralt of Rivia, the…” He seems to think for a few seconds, chin in his hand. “The White Wolf!” he finally exclaims, spreading his wings and arms dramatically, nearly knocking into Roach, who bristles angrily, taking a few steps away from the annoying and expressive bard.

Geralt looks at Jaskier for a few moments. “The White Wolf?” he eventually asks, voice flat.

Jaskier nods excitedly. “Yes! Because your hair is white and you don’t have any wings! I saw you pacing around here before I arrived, and I thought to myself ‘wow, this guy looks just like a wolf stalking its prey’, so there you have it! White Wolf! Do you like it?”

“No. Go away.” What the fuck does he need a barker for? He’s perfectly fine on his own. He’s managed seventy years alone on the path without wings, and he’ll manage a thousand more, thank you very much. Now all he needs is for this guy to fuck off and let him be so he can get some much-needed sleep. He’ll set out early again tomorrow.

Jaskier pouts a bit but gets up, luckily. “Alright, aright. I’ll leave you to it, then. Bye, Geralt.”

“Hmm. Bye.” He doesn’t look up from the fire, sees the flames dance in front of him as Jaskier flaps his wings and starts running, eventually taking off, up and up into the sky, towards the inn built into the mountainside. Once the sound of wings flapping has faded away, Geralt lets himself relax and eats a meagre meal of dried meat and a crust of stale bread. He falls into a restless sleep after that, his dreams plagued by black and white wings, speckled with blood.

---

He sets out early the next day, towards Dol Blathanna. A goat farmer had approached him in the morning, offering a hundred coins for a demon that kept stealing his goats. Geralt highly doubts that it’s a demon, but a job’s a job, and no matter how little money a hundred coins is, it’s better than nothing.

He saddles Roach and heads to the east. Before long though, he hears the sound of wings, someone flying towards him.

“Geralt! Hi!” Jaskier lands next to him, using his momentum to fall into step next to Geralt, Roach too slow and the branches too low to keep flying. He’s a bit out of breath, but his entire face is lit up with a smile that easily rivals the morning sun. There’s a lute hanging against his hip, Geralt notices.

“So, what are we hunting?”

Geralt scoffs. “We aren’t hunting anything. Fuck off.”

Jaskier pouts. “You know, you should really work on your people skills. I bet you’d get more contracts, then, though of course my songs will help. I mean, I’m almost getting the impression that you want me to leave!”

Geralt throws him an apprehensive look. “I do want you to leave. Go away.”

Jaskier huffs, his feathers puffing up slightly in annoyance. “No! No, you need my help, Geralt of Rivia. Unless, of course, you want to be forever known as the Butcher of Blaviken and a wingless monster.”

Geralt scoffs. “I am.”

“What? The Butcher of Blaviken or a wingless monster?”

“Both.”

Jaskier gasps, hand dramatically laying over his chest, wings stretching out, the tips bending forward a bit in shock. “You are most certainly not!”

“Well, I’m not a white wolf, either.”

Jaskier laughs softly, his wings folding behind his back again. “I assure you that you are. Geralt of Rivia, the White Wolf. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?”

Geralt rolls his eyes, but feels something soft unfurl in his chest. “Hmm.”

The bard grins. “So you do agree! Of course you do. I’m right, after all.”

It continues on like that for a while, Jaskier chatting on and on, his wings almost equally as expressive as his hands, and he almost slaps an increasingly disgruntled Roach with them several times. Meanwhile, Geralt keeps quiet, only giving monosyllabic answers from time to time, keeping an eye out for this so-called ‘demon’. Eventually, he dismounts Roach, leaving her behind at one of the only trees visible in the plain of yellowed grass, the rich mountains no more than a silhouette behind his back. He continues on foot, Jaskier following closely behind, still chattering.

“Sorry, what are we looking for again?”

“Blessed silence.”

“… Yeah, don’t really go in for that.”

Something rustles in the grass, and Geralt barely has time to turn around before something hits Jaskier square between the eyes. The bard collapses onto the ground, and the witcher walks towards him, finds a small, metal ball on the ground. He looks up when he hears footsteps, registers the dark silhouette of a person against the bright sunlight, and is promptly struck against the back of the head, his vision fading to black rather abruptly and violently.

---

He wakes up in a cave, hands bound by his side, something soft and firm and trembling pressed to his back. He frowns, confused, until he moves his head a bit and feels feathers tickling against his cheeks, the wings behind him puffed up in fear – except they aren’t his wings. Of course they’re not; he lost his a long time ago.

“Ah, good, you’re awake,” Jaskier says behind him.

Geralt grunts, starts struggling against the ropes that bind his wrists by his side.

“This is the part where we escape!” Jaskier exclaims, wings fluttering a bit in excitement, as if this is all just some big adventure.

“This is the part where they kill us,” he growls, still struggling against the bonds.

“Who’s they?” Jaskier’s wings contract in pain against Geralt’s back when a she-elf kicks the bard in the stomach.

Everything is a bit of a blur after that, getting his and the bard’s life threatened by the elves – easily identified as elves by their iridescent dragonfly wings – Jaskier’s lute getting destroyed, the elven king talking about the atrocities committed against them, and eventually letting the bard and the witcher go, even giving Jaskier a new, elven lute, the wood as shimmery and iridescent as their wings.

And before long, they’re headed back to Posada. Jaskier walks in front of him, strumming his new lute, singing a song of which only three words are true, give or take, his wings puffed up to let the soft breeze ruffle through the feathers.

Back in Posada, Jaskier offers Geralt to carry him up to the inn, which he resolutely refuses. There is a certain shame in having to stay on the ground while everyone else flies past, his differences pointedly underlined by his obvious lack of wings, but there’s something else entirely revolting about having to be carried up by a scrawny, little bard.

But instead of going back up to the inn alone, Jaskier stays on the ground with Geralt, practically stealing the Witcher’s spare bedroll.

“So,” Jaskier says, gently plucking away at the strings of his new lute. “What’s the deal with-“ he gestures at Geralt “-you know.”

He rolls his eyes. He’d much rather go to sleep right now than listen to the bard make redundant statements and ask vague questions. “No, I don’t know.”

Jaskier seems to hesitate, biting his bottom lip gently. “The wings,” he eventually half-whispers, as if it’s something Geralt’s sensitive about. Which he is, but he’d never show anyone that. “Where are they?”

“None of your business.” The light of the flames burns his eyes as he stares into the fire, and for a moment, he could swear he sees black and white feathers between the logs. For a moment, he’s still a boy at Kaer Morhen, looking on helplessly as they burn part of him, the barely-healed wounds in his back a constant, agonizing reminder of what he’s lost.

“Hmm,” Jaskier hums, plucking a few notes on his lute. “I suppose not. But there are rumours, you know? Like that you have to eat your own wings to become a Witcher.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Jaskier scrunches his nose. “Yeah, figured that one wasn’t real. Also heard a rumour that it’s what gives you your magic-“

“We don’t have magic.”

“-but my nan’s friend’s uncle’s brother’s teacher lost one wing during the war, and he didn’t get any magic powers, so I suppose that one’s a lie as well. I also heard a rumour-“

“Go to sleep, bard.”

Jaskier pouts at him for a second but Geralt doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he lies down on his bedroll, turning his back to the bard.

After a few seconds, he hears the faint rustling of clothes, the quiet thud of the elven lute being placed into the old, worn case, the clicking of locks being closed. He waits, watching the light of the fire dance across the trees around them, as Jaskier’s breathing grows slower and deeper.

Only when he’s sure that the bard’s asleep, does he let himself relax slightly, wincing when he shifts- the motion pulling at scars he can never truly forget. No matter how many nights have passed since that day so many decades ago, the ache in his back never fades.

He slips into a restless sleep.

[baereaved]

it’s that time of year again where i find myself frantically googling ministers, trying to figure out which fucking country sheril works for

[bakuvantea]

HEY BESTIE I HOPE YOUR HAVING AN AMAZING DAY

CAN I GET SOME GENERAL HEADCANONS WITH SUNG JIN-WOO WITH A FEMALE S/O

FEEL FREE TO IGNORE BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

>:)

general relationship headcanons of sung jin-woo with his beloved s/o

- warnings: none! just a tad bit of nsfw implications

- audience: I made this gender neutral, i do hope that’s okay!!

- a/n: hello >:) anonnn (may i call u that? lmao-) here’s your request love!! thank you for your kind words <33 stay heathy, stay hydrated, and always rest up okay? hope you have an amazing day ahead too!!

also idk who jacob is-

-•-

: pre-awakened jin-woo (before entering the carthenon temple)

> he was always cautious, he didn't want [you] to hear the whispers going around about how you could've chosen someone better, about how you could've loved someone that was not him. thus, he was very shy and timid, always on edge when he feels the piercing stares from his batchmates -most especially when you try to initiate physical contact with him in your school or in public, you'd see him uncomfortable and so you'd immediately stop (because you respect him, ily). behind closed doors though he would always go above and beyond in pleasing you and making you feel loved, although he always doubts himself so you always make sure to give him praises and assure him that he is the one you love (not that jerk jacob from the class next door).

> he always wears spare hair ties or hair pins around his wrists in case you forget or lose yours. in fact when its weekends -and when he's not out infiltrating dungeons and positively offering his life on a silver platter- he always tries to study new hairdos and hairstyles so he can have more variations and choices when he ties or pins your hair for you. he'd always kiss the top of your head after and you'd feel his smile as he nuzzles your hair, smelling your shampoo. since his hair is also long, you'd also return the favor and tie his hair for him. his favorite would have to be the classic apple look with a pointy lock of hair erect in the middle -he really looks like a shih tzu, adorable-

> he.blushes.so.easily !!! he is very weak to praises and your lil kisses that pepper his face. you can see him glow and you even see his smile evidently becoming wider despite him shying away from you, looking downwards to avoid your loving gaze.

> he may be sht but he is also very playful towards you, teasing you and throwing pillows at you when you’re in his room, what a baby.

> often during dates he'd always need to leave early because he really needs to earn money and g to the dungeons. although you try to offer him some of your savings or your help during the dungeon raids, he'd always reject your offer, thinking of how it may burden you or the dungeon raids may possibly hurt you. you don't listen to him though, you give some of your savings to his sister when you cross paths in your school, and you'd always register after him in raids or call up someone you know to have you join in.

"(name) why are you here?!"

"angel face, i can handle myself just fine. it's my choice to help you and whether you like it or not, i've also been called for this raid. come love, we're going in."

> you'd always take his blue hoodie and wear it. he gets so shy when you smell it.

he gets frantic when you take his hoodie and start sniffing it, exclaiming; "stop! i smell weird."

you raise an eyebrow at him, "woo, you smell fine. i like it."

he tries to stutter a remark but was silenced by your smile.

> you always try to visit his mother with him and his sister, jinah. you always talk to their mother out loud and you'd see jinah smile gently at you and jin-woo trying to stop sniffles from escaping his lips by biting them and covering his face with his hoodie.

jinah: u simp

jin-woo: shut it

> he loved cuddles! but he really likes kissing your cheeks. he loves how soft they are and he loves feeling your cheeks move when you smile or laugh at his cute antics.

> he loves you so so dear

: post-awakened jin-woo (after the events of the carthenon temple)

> oh, dear it's the monarch-

> you weren't with him when he raided the "d-rank" dungeon that then turned out to be,, well pretty much a bloodbath, so you were very worried when you heard word of the news. you and jinah basically ran to the hospital and when you caught sight of him you almost fell down from relief and pure shock in seeing the state he's in. well, not long after though suddenly he's all buff and you were really trying to make sense of what's happening.

you: hello there good sir, what in the name of fck are you doing in my boyfriend’s room all sweaty and half-naked😀

jin-woo: (name) it’s me

you: haha yes, sir ‘it’s me’ that’s a pretty weird name but i don't judge, anyways my baby boy is not here uhm haha please get out of my boyfriend’s room

jin-woo: (name) it’s really me!

you: no sir, my woo radiates baby energy, you on the other hand radiates big dilf energy, haha i do not like what i am sensing so please for the life of me leave-

(jinah had to convince you that it is indeed jin-woo, you had her stop you from trying to hold his tiddies)

> you were very happy in seeing how confident he’s become, and you were even more proud with how he still says so humble despite his new accomplishments and title.

> it was obvious that he has become distant with others and have set a boundary between him and other hunters, you accept that part of him though since you know just how much he has gone through. he may act aloof towards others but he’s still very playful and comfortable with you.

> you have also noticed another thing though, he has become a bit possessive or much protective over you and jinah. he’d always have you bring a shadow with you to guard you when he can’t be with you. also, when someone stares at you for far too long, he’d step in and go, “hey there pal” and oh gosh was that enough to get the guy running (pretty damn hot)

> you still visit his mom with him, he doesn’t cry now though.

> when he trains, you’d insist on lying down below him when he does push-ups. you’d kiss him every time he swoops down and you’d hear him laugh which then makes you giggle as you hold his cheeks between your hands

> jinah is sick of the two you, always screaming about how on earth did her brother get an s/o before her, the audacity!

> his shadows adore you, of they’d always try to impress you or get head pats when you tell jin-woo to summon them for you. you live them to bits and always thanks them for a job well done in helping jin-woo with his raids. on the first time you accompanied him for a raid -you had to bribe him with more cuddles- and you were shocked with how his sweet adorable shadows turned a full 180, becoming ruthless towards the enemies. quite a show you’d say. after though, they’re back to flocking over you, even dismissing jin-woo lmao

jin-woo, watching you give each shadows head pats: i hate it here

you: get in line then

> it may be due to his newly acquired talents and his current mental and physical prowess but he has become more perceptive towards you. he can always read you and know just what your mood is and he always tries to make you feel better by giving his whole attention to you.

> of but of course, since dear jin-woo has become quite the looker, you also notice how girls flock over to him. and especially miss hae-in (she’s very sweet yes, but hey that’s your man so like—). the moment you discovered that she left her guild to join jin-woo’s, and then confessed (well basically she did) to your man, well you were upset but really who could blame her? instead of taking your frustrations out on her and your boyfriend, you decided to just talk it out with jin-woo and ask him about how it went. the two of you cleared it out and you got kisses and maybe even more after that ;))

> you and jin-ho are menaces to society when you are together, he hates how endearing and annoying you two can be. i mean, does he really hate it? nope, he absolutely loves seeing you two interact, although his head always throbs when you two start screaming to britney, gaga, and doja.

> a tease, he has become the master of being a tease, you hate it and love it at the same time. he’d trail kisses down your neck to your thighs and leave some marks then he’d suddenly walk away while asking you what take-out you want. rude, that’s what he is. ofc he always finished what he starts tho oop-

> he always randomly bites you now, you don’t know why but it’s really cute when he starts nibbling so you let him be.

> so extra when he tells you that he loves you. he professes it in such weird but adorable ways. one time he had printed out ‘i love you so much’ on a big-ass tarpaulin and had his shadows hold it for him while he’s kneeling down smoldering at you. you hate him so much (you don’t-). or that one time he bought a bouquet basket and had a ring tied to one of the flowers, you had to take the bouquet apart since the damn ring fell to the very bottom.

> sometimes when he gets back to the agency after his dungeon raids you and jin-ho would see him all grumpy and you immediately know that either he wasn’t able to make the enemy his soldier or his coat got ruined.

jin-woo: *sad noises*

jin-ho: that’s okay, you can kill and slaughter the others and take their souls next time

you: jin-ho couldn’t you have worded that better-

over-all, he’s the bestest boyfriend, such a sweet and handsome pretty boy much strong and reliable we love him<333

-•-

- a/n: i can add more to this if you’d like!! just hit me up again lmao it’s too long now so-

[hpwlwbigbang]

FIC & ART: Nicotine/Linger

Title: Nicotine/Linger

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson

Author: @teacup-tai

Artists: @carlav-blogs & @digthewriter

Rating: E

Warnings/Content Notes: Enemies to friends to lovers, Pansy in the Muggle world, meet-cute, soft butch Pansy, slow burn, UST, EWE, Minor Hermione/Lisa Turpin, mentions of the war, flashbacks, anxiety, mentions of getting burned in a fire hate crime, trauma from fire, neo-nazi metaphor for young death eaters, Pansy pines a lot, she likes to pretend she’s a mean lesbian, she’s not, she’s soft as warm butter, i’m soft as warm butter for them too, tentative flirting, then straight on heavy flirting, easy banter, pubs, found family, clubbing, recreational drug use, slice of life, character study, redemption arc (kinda), minor Pansy/OFC, OCs, Blaise & Pansy friendship. See the rest of the tags on AO3.

Summary: Pansy has been living a slow Muggle life in Ireland for five years now. Managing her anxiety and trauma with one too many drinks, way more anonymous fucks in loos than strictly advised, wonderful Muggle friends and a job that keeps her hands busy. Life is kinda alright -though a tad bit fucked up- until she stumbles into Hermione Granger in the Muggle Hospital.

This is a story about childhood enemies trying a tentative friendship far from the chaotic magical world. A tale about falling in love with the cute golden lesbian and the slow, ginger path of reconnecting with things that make you feel whole.

Word Count: 26k

Read on AO3

[i-lovethatforme]

I listened to a song once--can't remember the title sorry--about roommates that fake date to get a discount at a Chinese restaurant. They go out of their way to walk by the street together so they have to hold hands. When they want to order in, they realize their apartment needs proof of them as a couple. So they spend days doing couple things and taking pictures to put around the apartment. They're so in love it hurts, but both just use this restaurant as an excuse to pretend.

It's a banger of a song. Can you write a fic about it?

ofc anything you for you my brain twin pally. hold all criticisms bc my sick brain refused to edit as i deserve!!!! slightly long drabble for you as is my brand. goodbyegodbless etc xxxxxxx

This is the best idea Ned has ever had and last semester he successfully helped Peter escape a crime lord using the map and movements from a Spider-Man game prototype he has on his laptop.

But this. This is his best creation. Because not only will he get his two best friends together after helplessly pining over each other for years. 

He also gets cheap Chinese food. 

“What do you mean?” Peter asks, his brows furrowed as he struggles to peel an orange. Ned is convinced Peter has taught himself how to squirt juice in his eye instead of peeling the fruit like a normal person because MJ will always help him. And she’ll tut and take the orange from his hand with an eye roll, but her fingertips always linger against his cheek when she wipes the juice away. So Peter will be an idiot, if only for her.

Well, Ned has seen him swing into a billboard a few times, so maybe he’s just a bit of an idiot anyway. 

“Yeah,” MJ pipes in, snatching the orange from Peter’s hand in a way that would probably dislocate a smaller person’s wrist, but Peter just looks at her fondly. “Why would we get a discount because we’re like, uhm a couple or whatever?”

MJ blushes whenever she talks about being in a relationship with Peter which isn’t often at all considering it’s definitely all she thinks about, but whenever it slips out, Ned thinks he could warm his palms on her cheeks. He won’t - obviously, he’s not ready to die right now. But he does think about how adorable it is that she thinks noone can see if it’s anything other than a bright sunny day. As if Peter doesn’t have countless photos of her on his phone that would prove her theory incorrect. 

“Because that’s the discount?” Ned says, shrugging his shoulders. 

MJ looks at Peter with her lips pouted to see what he’s thinking - to see if he’ll agree to fake dating her before she can dare to make it known that that would be something she would be okay with. As if Ned isn’t right here, having already seen her Mrs Michelle Parker doodles all over the English book during high school. 

Peter is already looking at her, because of course, he is. He doesn’t immediately answer her, nor does he really acknowledge that she’s spoken. He just looks at her as he always does, a little dopey and a lot in love. 

“Dork,” she mutters, knocking into his side where she’s standing next to his bar stool. 

“Wh - sorry, what?” Peter asks, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back. He takes the orange back from her with his free hand.

“Wanna date for cheap Chinese food?” MJ asks and you’d think with Peter’s super hearing and whatever else he likes to brag about with MJ is in earshot, he’d be able to hear the longing in her voice. 

“Like, uhm, pretend, obviously,” she continues when he pulls her a tad closer and Ned has no powers but he hears Peter’s heart thud to the ground anyway. 

“Yeah,” he coughs. “Still weird that’s a discount but I know you love rice noodles and I haven’t been able to get the recipe right yet.”

Sure - it’s a little strange and yes Ned did have to talk to the owner into it but he promised that it would only be a week or so tops and that yes, he would give the owner May’s number.

He’s kept that information from Peter. 

And MJ.

Maybe when they end up arguing between themselves about who will have Ned on their side of the wedding party - he’ll tell them then. Maybe. 

But then Peter places an orange segment against MJ’s lips, pulling it back when she goes to bite it and Ned fears that maybe he won’t get as much cheap food as he thought. With the way MJ leans into him and the way Peter looks at her. Ned might have to start spreading rumours to get this deal for longer. 

“Loser,” MJ smiles with Peter’s fingers against her lips and well. Maybe Ned doesn’t mind if it’s over all that soon. 

—

Ned owes the Chinese takeaway a fortune at this point. And probably an actual face-to-face meeting with May if this plan takes any longer to sort itself out. 

So far they’ve bought their body weight in noodles and they have enough chopsticks to build a fort if they really wanted to. Peter and MJ have shared more than three whole kisses because Ned is nothing short of a genius and yet - they still sleep in separate rooms. Well. Sometimes they fall asleep together on the couch because they’re ridiculous and MJ likes to check Peter is safe when he stumbles in at four am and Peter likes to be wherever MJ is.

But the daily handholds as they walk past a closed Chinese takeaway, in case the owner sees them not holding hands and immediately figures out this is a whole ruse, of course, are not enough to shove them into a relationship. 

Ned thought it would be easier than this. They already cook together (before the aforementioned couples discount which Ned is regretting more as the days pass). Peter makes MJ’s coffee in the morning. MJ leaves a note with Peter’s lunch every day. Peter comes home with flowers for MJ on Thursdays because she doesn’t like Thursdays and MJ runs Peter a bubble bath after a long mission. 

Oh. And they’re in love with each other. 

But apparently, that doesn’t matter.

But it’s fine. It’ll work itself out. They’ve only been dancing around each other for the better part of six years but they’re both finally single. Ned does not need to get involved any further. 

—

Okay, so it turns out that despite Ned’s best intentions, his plan will not work unless he gets involved further. And he promised that he wouldn’t. Well. He promised himself he wouldn’t get involved because once in tenth grade he tried to help MJ ask Peter out and he still has the scar on the back of his hand where she hit him with a book. 

So, he’s vowed not to get involved again. Sure he created the couples discount at the Chinese down the block, but truly, he just wanted some chow mein and Betty was out of the city. But that was weeks ago. And he’s tired of watching Peter’s heart crack open every time MJ drops his hand when they return to their apartment. As if he wasn’t aware that she’d do anything he asked. As if it isn’t painfully obvious to everyone bar the two smartest people that Ned knows - that they’re it for each other. 

Honestly, Ned wasn’t expecting Peter and MJ to be so woefully dense that he’d be sick of eating fried rice. But as he throws his container in the bin - his stomach crying out for a vegetable - he decides it’s time to fix it for them. 

Because frankly, if Ned has to watch Peter run down the stairs quickly, just so he can reach the ground floor and officially be in MJ’s fake boyfriend territory, one more time, he’s going to snap. Especially when neither he nor MJ can run as fast as Peter can lest they snap an ankle on sight - so, he just has to watch MJ fidget and fix her hair while they walk five floors down. 

It’s after Ned gets blisters because MJ and Peter decided to walk the long way home in the middle of summer ‘because it’s a nice night’ and not because if they walked that way they could hold hands and pretend to be together for a hundred metres of pavement - that he decided he needed a new plan. And fast. 

—

It’s a frighteningly short amount of time before both Peter and MJ agree to another Chinese takeout. Anyone would think they like being a couple more than they like a healthy bank account. 

“I can pick it up,” Ned says, not even bothering to move from the armchair because he knows Peter and MJ will offer to go and get it. 

“No!” Peter says, running into the front room, almost taking MJ out in his haste. 

“Easy, Tiger,” she warns, her hands against his stomach as if he needs her twig-like arms to keep himself from falling to the ground. 

“Thanks, Em,” he whispers and Ned rolls his eyes so hard they hurt. God, they’re oblivious and they’re putting him off the food he doesn’t really want anyway. But he needs them to at least bring the food back so he can throw his handmade fortune cookies in the bag. It’s a last-ditch attempt honestly, if they ignore the signs from the universe, well, Ned will just watch them pretend to be happy for the other when they inevitably get with someone else. 

Probably. 

Or he’ll try something else that will take a considerable amount of planning and convincing May that it’s just one more date. Or, he’ll just curse them for the rest of their days. Whichever is easier for him at the time. 

Ned watches MJ link her fingers with Peter’s before he’s even finished putting his shoes on but Peter does respond by pulling her a little closer and pressing his lips to her forehead. When they’re like this, Ned doesn’t mind the apology texts to the takeout place and he doesn’t mind the way he has to listen to Peter complain about some guy hitting on MJ at her work summer party. (As if she didn’t only tell that story for a second time when Peter was around because he was supposed to be there with her - and he had to go and be a hero. As if MJ thinks she’s sly enough to make out that she’s only telling the story so Peter knows she’s annoyed he left her there. As if MJ wouldn’t cover for Peter in any given situation and the only reason she’s bringing it up is to let Peter know other people are interested in her - but she’s not interested in them.) But MJ has been doing the same thing since they were thirteen. But for the first few years - Peter wasn’t interested in her either. At least not in the heartbreaking way he is now. 

So when they seem like maybe, just maybe, they’re both just going to confess in the middle of the living room - Ned’s heart grows eight sizes. But then MJ pushes her hair behind her ear and Peter looks at her a little too closely and it startles her. And suddenly, they both realise how close they are and Ned is transported back to the day they had to kiss for photographic proof that they were a couple. Something about an employee coming to deliver food and not being able to see photographic evidence which honestly, was Ned’s worst cover to get them to kiss but they were both so desperate to do it they didn’t call him out on it. 

But the memories of Peter’s breathy moan long after Ned had put the camera down and the way MJ practically climbed into Peter’s lap after what was supposed to be a quick peck, haunt Ned to this day. 

And he doesn’t want to be witness to that again. Not if he has to sit with the awkwardness afterwards when they both don’t just admit they’re halfway married already. 

“Er, the food?” 

“Right,” MJ says, not at all moving away from Peter. 

“Sure,” Peter replies, moving backwards just so he doesn’t need to stop looking at MJ. “Be right back.”

Ned knows he’s lying. They’ll be twenty minutes longer than they need to be because neither of them wants to give up living in their fantasy world. But it’s fine. Ned is barely hungry anyway. He only needs to sneak these fortune cookies into the bag with eagle-eyed Peter seeing.

—

It’s not a difficult task because Peter spends the entire time they’re eating staring at MJ and Ned may as well be bursting into flames for all anyone cares. 

They would care. That’s the only reason Ned is going to so much trouble to make them happy. Because sure, they’re happy right now. Content even, to be around each other. To enjoy each other's company without the need to stake a claim. They’d both be happy enough to just be this - to never get any closer and to love each other from afar. Because they love each other enough to live just on the outside - if that’s what the other wants. 

But Ned is over it. Ned isn’t nervous that they’ll ruin their friendship because he’s not sure anything ever could. Not Peter flinging himself in danger every three seconds. Not the blip. Not whatever might come next. 

It’s Peter and MJ forever and always because that’s always what it has been. That’s always what it was going to be. 

“Oh,” Ned says without any fanfare lest he sends either of them into a panic because they forgot he was here. “There are fortune cookies.”

He tosses them at Peter who lets MJ pick hers first. It doesn’t matter, obviously, they say the same thing.

“Shouldn’t they be sealed?” MJ asks.

“I opened them, sorry,” Ned replies not at all sorry because, at this point, he’s just about to confess for the both of them. 

Ned hears MJ’s sharp intake of breath first even though he knows Peter read his fortune before her. Because despite it all, when it comes to MJ, Peter is nothing if not careful. 

“What does it say?” Peter asks, and Ned can see his fingers trembling from here and he starts to feel a little queasy that Peter is the one that swings him home late at night when he can barely keep a piece of paper in his hands. 

“Uhm,” MJ starts as Ned gets up to leave. He built the scenario but MJ and Peter have been working towards this since the first day they met each other. So Ned wants them to figure it out alone, even if he did shove them together just a little. 

He just hopes this is enough but as he eases his bedroom door shut, he hears MJ stuttering over nothing and he’s not sure it will be. 

But then -

“I’m in love with you.”

“What?”

“I’m so in love with you. I always have been and -”

“That’s what your fortune says?”

“What? Oh, uhm, no,” Peter laughs, definitely running his hand through his hair. “It erm says -”

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t?”

“No,” MJ laughs. “I’m in love with you too. That’s all I care about.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, loser.”

There’s a clattering of plates and probably things thrown on the ground and Ned assumes the fortune cookies have been lost but it’s alright. He doesn’t mind. Well, not that much anyway. 

“Arseholes,” Ned curses with a smile. 

[wolfythewitch]

J can't express to you how excited I was to see the title/ch. Titles of the new fic being lyrics from Inkpot Gods. If it says anything abt how much I love TAD and their music, I ended up in the 0.1% of top spotify listeners... so ofc I immediately went and read the fic lmao

It's really good so far!! I'm excited to see where it goes. Plus, the lyrics. Oohhh man the lyrics. They fit so well and I'm so hyped

Yessss TAD is so good agahsvb and I like stealing titles from songs so it’s a win win