#tl;dr i love the subtle things about him

[first-class-feral]

brad dourif scrungly feature analysis: eyes

from the “Boys” dourif-hottie supercut music video:

I’d love to see an artist break this down!

For now, let me write you a novel about Brad's spectacular eyes...

The Strangeness

(Skip if you want to preserve the mystery.) BD's right eye is placed a little higher, and turned up as if tugged from the outer corner. I think it's part of that subtle something that immediately sets him apart. This unique, catlike, romantic asymmetry snatches your attention.

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The glow

His striking, chameleonic blues capture light — even in B&W — which directors loooooove to exploit by lighting him obliquely:

It's a great way to crank up the eerie vibe of any scene, and I respect Star Trek for trashing that option outright with all-black contacts. (Of course, he still served an incredibly compelling outsider.)

(Edit: I put up a post just about this effect because they seriously do it all the damn time) (...because it's awesome)

Set in shadows

He has hooded eyes, deep-set and accentuated by heavy eye bags. The shadows and textures draw you in toward those luminescent irises, like picture frames that amplify each motion of his eyes.

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Contrast

Sometimes he pops them wide open, creating these huge, expressive magnets...

...Or squints lopsidedly...

...Or interrogates, challenges, threatens — alert but defensive, like a prey animal on the edge of lashing out.

He’s said he chooses roles that "turn him on" (pretty clearly in an artistic sense); many of these blend menace and vulnerability, and our boy dumps emotion into every. single. line. This can manifest as an intense, wary, combative look, with eyes wide under neutral or furrowed brows:

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Cry, baby

...And that's all before we mention the tears. He cries, of course, at will and liberally, and his eyes go red-rimmed and wet, highlighting them even more as he pins someone's soul to the wall with his gaze.

When he hovers right on the edge, they seem to shine in the dark.

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Bared

At times, his fair eyelashes almost vanish, compounding his unusual look with a birdlike or reptilian tinge.

Obviously, the shaved brows in LOTR add to this effect.

A couple more things you'll notice here: he'll hold his eyes wide open for much longer than normal, drawing out these moments and making him seem even more alien.

And when he gets up-close in someone's face (which is often), he's constantly switching his gaze between their eyes — totally fixated, as if scanning for emotional feedback. In my opinion, it adds to that vulnerability: to the object of his attention, he must seem like a predator freezing them in place... but it's also desperate, like a prey animal trying to decipher the other person's intent, all senses tuned to pick up their slightest signal. (Gríma Wormtongue and Jack Dante especially have this pathetic air about them: grasping at sources of warmth while lashing out at the harsh, unintelligible world around them, allying themselves with uncontrollable destructive forces in an attempt to establish a place for themselves........)

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TL;DR

The eyes — and how he uses them — are the standout scrungly feature, the main reason we can’t look away from this unforgettable weirdo.

The cat-eye asymmetry pulls focus;

His ice-blue irises are light traps, framed in textured shadow;

His full-bore emotional commitment ramps up the anguish and torment to an aching crescendo that's impossible to ignore.

Eventually I'll follow up on other contributing factors, but for now, I'll leave you with a couple of article snippets about The Eyes:

Imagi-Movies: Vol 1 No 2 — Winter 1993/94. Pages 11-13: "Traumatic - Brad Dourif". Link

SoHo News: November-December 1981. "Tension and mercy - Brad Dourif glowers for our sins" (an article all about his eyes! But they don't mention the asymmetry.)

[Gifs were mostly stolen from the GOAT, @exdeputysonso — with some of my own, mostly the square ones. Shout-out to @dragonsbloodsnowcone for inspiring this word vomit.]

Thanks for reading!

[catsteinbooks]

The Thin Dark Duke of Hell

Haven't actually written a meta before, but I've been mulling this around in my head, so here's my take on why I think Crowley is likely to be a Duke of Hell in season 3.

Reason 1: it makes narrative sense

From a story-telling perspective, it's the logical starting place for season 3. Especially if we consider how the original idea was developed as a sequel to the book.

There's no body-swap in the book. Neither Aziraphale nor Crowley has heard from "their sides" at the end, so technically they're still connected to Heaven and Hell. They haven't been punished or kicked out. They even speculate that maybe everyone will just pretend it didn't happen.

And now we're approaching the Second Coming. The Big One. "All of us against all of them." Where are our heroes? Well, time has passed, things have happened. It's reasonable to think that maybe they've both been promoted. (Crowley, in particular, is often getting promotions, usually for things he didn't do.) And story-wise, they're set up as opposite numbers, so it makes sense that their positions as the sequel story begins will be of similar status.

Applying this concept to the screen version, we know Aziraphale has been offered the Supreme Archangel position. Therefore, if Crowley is to be his counterpart, he has to have a high rank in Hell. And there's a Duke of Hell opening to be filled. (Sorry, Shax, I think Crowley's going to snatch it out from under you.)

Reason 2: it fits Crowley's character

"What?!" you shout. "Crowley hates Hell! He turned them down! He doesn't want to go back!"

Correct. He doesn't. But he will if he thinks he needs to. Because he and Aziraphale have a huge, defining commonality: they love Earth and Humanity and don't want it to be destroyed.

Yeah, Crowley will probably wallow for a while. He deserves some time to get insanely drunk and cry. Sort of like he did when he thought Aziraphale was dead in season 1. But the thing is, Crowley always comes back. He's always ready to run. He always threatens to run. He hops in his car and drives somewhere. But he never actually leaves. Because there's no point in going away somewhere without Aziraphale. And that hasn't changed. If Crowley ran away now, he'd still be miserable, but without any music or whisky or his Bentley. It would be... pointless.

So what's a heartbroken, grieving, furious demon to do? Vent his pain in the best possible way: thwarting everyone and everything who hurt him and took away the angel he adores. He knows what Heaven is planning, because he saw it in Gabriel's file. He doesn't want Earth destroyed, he doesn't want Heaven or Hell to win. And he has an opportunity to sabotage the whole thing from the inside.

Which leads us to...

Reason 3: Crowley has a way into Hell already

There is a great meta here about Crowley's conversation with Beelzebub in Hell and its potential season 3 impact. The TL;DR version is: Crowley DID technically find Gabriel, and Beelzebub promised him anything he wanted (including being a Duke of Hell) in return.

Is it a somewhat dubious contract? Sure. Would that stop Crowley? *snort laugh* The demon who makes up legal clauses on the spot to save humans is well-equipped to argue his way into Hell's highest position in order to save the entire world. It's probably much easier than driving a flaming Bentley all the way to Tadfield.

So where does this leave us?

Aziraphale is up in Heaven, ready to burn it to the ground. You saw him when the Metatron mentioned the Second Coming. That was not a happy angel ready to do what he's told. And, frankly, Aziraphale is not actually capable of doing what he's told IMO. No matter how much he tries to follow the good/evil dynamic, he ultimately ends up choosing what is Right over what is Good.

Crowley in Hell would be doing the same kind of thing, albeit in a more subtle, sneaky way. After all, he spent 6000 years thwarting Hell all over the place and getting away with it the vast majority of the time. He knows how to mess with them. (And can you just imagine what would happen when demons like Eric asked him questions and he answered them?! He could gather his own little army with one Suggestion Box.)

So when shit hits the fan, as it inevitably will, we'll be left with both our ineffable heroes (gn) poised to do the exact same thing: destroy the machine from the inside.

Even if some of the other fan speculations prove true (memory wipes, for instance), I think it still makes narrative sense to have them both in equal-but-opposite positions. Because no matter how much the enemies are trying to mess with them, if you take a certain angel with an opportunity to fuck up Heaven and a certain demon with an opportunity to fuck up Hell and you bring them together (which, let's be honest, has to happen no matter what the storyline is), it's going to be pretty darn epic.

[crehador]

mulled it over for a while and ultimately decided i'm really digging this arajin-matakara fight, because like

the whole series has set up arajin as a piece of shit fuckhead (and i LOVE that for him) but this whole lying to matakara about wanting to be a honki people thing... is like the one thing he did not actually do

i get real rambly under the cut but tl;dr the way matakara treats arajin is the way arajin treats mahoro and that is suuuch a juicy parallel to me

throughout the whole series arajin has been not at all subtly trying to get away from these fights

could he have been more direct about that with matakara? sure maybe! but matakara was really ignoring all the signs that arajin is not who he thinks he is

which is such a delicious parallel to how arajin willfully ignores all the signs that mahoro is not into him

like. matakara built this version of arajin up in his head, with all these unreasonable, unrealistic, and honestly unfair? expectations based off some past foolishness from when they were very small children. he's clinging to this version of arajin that only exists in his head and has basically shown zero evidence of existing in real life

(yes arajin shows crumbs of courage but i think the scales are tipped pretty heavily towards his I DO NOT WANT ANY PART OF THIS moments)

this fight between them was like if arajin were to blow up at mahoro like "you've been leading me on this whole time!" when obviously. lol. no she has not

she did initially! just like tiny arajin as a child had those honki people ambitions! his ambitions may have been genuine, while mahoro feigned interest in him with malicious intent, but they're same in the sense that after that initial story beat, they have consistently demonstrated that actually no what happened back then no longer applies (whether because they grew out of it, in arajin's case, or they were faking interest in the first place, in mahoro's case)

but arajin is blinded by what he wants (mahoro) and ignores the reality of mahoro snubbing him at every turn, and matakara does the same, ignoring the reality of arajin really just... being extremely reluctant to have anything at all to do with him

anyway that's the main thing i'm chewing on and loving here, but ALSO i think the story paints this parallel in such an interesting way because like

matakara is just a big sweet ouppy dog of a boy! it's so so so easy to feel sorry for him, to root for him, to think the best of him. which i still do btw, in fact this episode made me like him more than i already did

because matakara is so uwu angelboy perfect, and arajin is such a dickhead, it's easy to instinctively think oh matakara must be completely right to be hurt and arajin must have hurt him. even if that isn't the case! this doesn't make arajin any less of a dickhead, but he's a dickhead mainly for other reasons

the fact that they've been set up as the perfect epitome of the Pure Boy and the Pervy Boy tropes is just such clever framing for this parallel between them, because i imagine a lot of viewers, if told what mataakara is doing to arajin is what arajin is doing to mahoro, would be like omg wtf no my pure angel baby is nothing like that disgusting freak?

except in this case! he literally is!! which is brilliant!!! i think it adds nuance to both matakara's character and arajin's character at the same time, making it so it's not just one of them is Perfect and one of them is Wrong All The Time

what's even better is that this made sense for matakara, like his reaction breaks him out of the Pure Angel mold but doesn't feel out of character. his emotions are already running high with what happened to his brother, plus akutaro is malewife mansplain manipulating him behind the scenes, so of course he feels like he's driven towards this emotional high that leads to this blowup

the groundwork was already laid out, and it wasn't even subtle. it was right on the surface! but this episode really highlighted how matakara's way of treating arajin is so much like arajin's way of treating mahoro and how inevitable it was that things would reach this point

(there are moments, even in this episode, that are in hindsight so clearly setting up this parallel! like arajin trying to talk to mahoro during lunch, mahoro CLEARLY not interested, making viewers think ugh arajin get a clue. then matakara often IMMEDIATELY coming in to try to talk to arajin, when arajin is the one who clearly isn't interested, making viewers think boo arajin be nicer to him! like i think the show deliberately set the audience up to have those emotional reactions, and this is the moment where the rug is pulled out from under us, so to speak, where it becomes even more obvious that... wait... double standard much?)

anyway. personally my only gripe with this episode is i wished they'd done more with aniki than just pseudo-fridge him, and hope they do still do more with him in the coming eps? but kind of understandable if they don't, because it is just a one-cour show after all

the actual blowup between arajin and matakara was just. mawh, chef's kiss. perfect

[cellarspider]

The Prometheus rant, Part 0/30

⛬ | (Index) | (Next)

I have promised a dissection of the movie Prometheus. It begins.

So, to summarize, and give you a taste of what we're in for. 

I am a geneticist with a background in history, including some undergraduate archaeological field work. I'm deeply interested in linguistics as a hobby. Prometheus manages to be stupid in every one of these fields.

But I absolutely love H.R. Giger aesthetic, the cinematography is beautiful, and whoever did the editing was absolutely solid because the movie consistently cuts slow scenes at moments when the cuts feel just slightly jarring. It’s a very subtle way to maintain tension.

The soundtrack holds the intended tone well, the practical effects are numerous and impressive, and even though their story completely undermines it, they got an actual academic linguist to work with them on the language stuff: the guy actually has a speaking role in the film, as a virtual tutor of a reconstructed language he taught to one of the actors.

And on top of all that, there's at least one scene in the movie which is just unbelievably tense and well-executed body horror. It’s the scene everybody mentions as a highlight when they talk about the movie. So, it's a successful movie in so many ways.

But.

The writing does not back this up. There are stretches that are fine, even elevated by some of the performances. But you can feel the movie shift any time a scene has plot relevance, or a character is supposed to do their job. 

Unlike Alien, where the main cast making dumb decisions is believable because they're a bunch of space cargo haulers and maintenance people who are not supposed to have any relevant expertise for the situation they find themselves in, Prometheus' characters are supposed to be scientists, doctors, and the best a trillionaire could buy for a mission that he expected would

make first contact between technologically modern humans and a race of aliens that had visited Earth thousands of years ago

convince said aliens to give him the secret to eternal youth, because he's an old rich asshole

so when things start going wrong, I felt less like "oh no these poor bastards don't know what the fuck they're getting into" and more like "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CONTAMINATING AN ALIEN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE YOU BASTARDS"

this approximately culminates in a scene where the last surviving alien on the planet is woken from two thousand years of emergency stasis, gets talked at in something very much like Proto-Indo-European by Michael Fassbender at the behest of the old rich asshole, while a woman screams in English in the background. The alien proceeds to rip Fassbender's head off and beats the old man to death with it, which is just the funniest goddamn thing

That’s the TL;DR. Yes, really.

The actual rant will start next time.  Well. Part One of the rant. This is going to be a multi-parter, because I want anyone who follows me on this journey to understand how the movie builds up into such a mess, and get some actual science out of this.

⛬ | (Index) | (Next)

[bebop-station]

Shostakovich and Aziraphale

I was thinking (and talking to @balance-of-probability endlessly) about the choice to have Shostakovich's fifth symphony feature so heavily in S2 ep 1, and how it struck me as a little odd as there are a bunch of composers Aziraphale loves mentioned in the book and Shostakovich isn't amongst them.

Backstory: In 1934, Shostakovich’s opera Lady Macbeth of Mtensk premiered to huge popular acclaim, which was very briskly walked back in 1936 after the Stalinist newspaper Pravda published an article denouncing it.

Actually more than denouncing it, condemning it. It wasn’t credited but was authored by a guy called David Zaslavsky who was almost definitely scribing for Stalin himself. Lady Macbeth was banned in the USSR until 1961.

Anyway by 1936 Shostakovich had written his fourth symphony, which he withdrew from public performance until 1961 because it was more of the same thing that had made the Soviet leadership cancel Lady Macbeth – it was unconventional, anti-patriotic, and indicated that Shostakovich was a “bourgeois formalist”.

So he shelved it and started working on Symphony No. 5 which is, on the surface at least, Soviet as fuck. And that’s what we hear Aziraphale listening to in S2E1.

(Sidebar this story is told in Julian Barnes’ The Noise of Time which is either a literary wank soup or a masterpiece depending on how cranky you are when you first read it)

So basically what Dmitri Shostakovich did in those years between the fourth and fifth symphonies was something that might be familiar to S2E6 enjoyers/agonisers: he decided to toe the party line.

Kind of.

Listening to the finale of the fifth symphony (and if you want to listen along it’s the recording of Leonard Bernstein conducting the New York Philharmonic, it’ll be called something like Symphony No. 5 in D minor, Op. 47; iv. Allegro non troppo) without the context of the rest of the symphony or in fact Shostakovich’s life is like ah yes that’s a bit of a Soviet battle anthem let’s march into Leningrad or whatever.

But it is, as critics have increasingly understood in the years since Shostakovich demurely described it as “a Soviet artist's no-nonsense response to fair criticism”, dripping with irony. This man reviled the Stalinist line on art and life – he takes the Soviet anthem and turns it into a sort of fucked up evil clown march. The whole thing gives me this vibe:

(gif from @goodomensedit)

There’s a lot of stuff about that time in Shostakovich’s life that is extremely hard to verify. There’s a “memoir” which is for sure at least partially fabricated called Testimony in which there’s an alleged quote from our man saying that final movement is a parody, that “it's as if someone were beating you with a stick and saying, "Your business is rejoicing, your business is rejoicing", and you rise, shaky, and go marching off, muttering, "Our business is rejoicing, our business is rejoicing"."

Whether or not Shostakovich said that (some of his friends who outlived him support that reading, including Rostropovich who conducted a bunch of his work) you can definitely hear it in the piece and you can definitely see how it gives us a clue into the decision Aziraphale makes at the end of the season.

What Shostakovich had to decide back in the 1930s was whether he would a) flee to somewhere like the US, where many other artists targeted by Stalin went; b) stay and become a public nuisance, leading almost definitely to an off-the-books execution; or c) become a party-approved Soviet Artist and hope for change. Even nudge it along in a subtle way. Even get on the inside and work to bring it down. We don’t know how true that was for old mate Dmitri and we don’t yet know exactly what Aziraphale has planned. But yeah:

tl;dr: Shostakovich 🤝 Aziraphale

          Staying inside a rancid and destructive militarised culture in the hope that it can change

[musashi]

is the eminem cosplayer from breaking bad actually a bisexual trans man or has tumblr mislead me about this show again

HFDKLJGHDFGDF ok i want to answer this genuinely and in earnest because a lot of tumblr sees the memes and i think might internalize some ideas that breaking bad deserves ridicule for being like, a show that middle aged men like, so i actually want to say this for anyone who might have even the slightest interest in the actual story--

jesse is literally homophobic in canon but has been adopted as a transmasc icon because even though he is a cishet man, a lot of his traditionally masculine bravado resonates with trans men who had that period of conforming to ideas of toxic masculinity in an attempt to feel secure in their gender. this is something men of all gender alignments often deal with, but for trans men it can hit twofold, as they obvious have more at stake in "proving" their manhood.

furthermore, jesse is not the hypermasculine facade he presents. he is sensitive, open-hearted, protective in ways that are more nurturing than combative. jesse does not stone-faced background noise the traumatic things he goes through in brba, he cries openly and breaks down often, in ways that even just the 'i see breaking bad memes' crowd knows because those scenes are often made fun of, bolstered by aaron paul's emmy-winning performance and the sheer amounts of raw emotion he puts into them:

the villain of breaking bad is toxic masculinity. full stop. it is not subtle, it is present throughout. jesse is meant to be one of walter's narrative foils and this is the biggest place they clash--walter is insistent on being hard and masculine and never letting his image or personal pride falter, but jesse cannot do that. jesse emulates an idea of masculinity to protect himself but when pushed to his limit this idea crumbles and he allows his true colours to show without shame--what he is is gentle. he is not hard, he is not destructive, he is not a killer. every crime he commits and every life he takes, he takes with tears in his eyes. he literally cannot find it in his heart to hurt even an insect.

jesse pinkman is not a trans icon without reason, even though he is a cis man. jesse is a trans icon because he is introduced as someone who wears toxic masculinity like armor, desperate to prove to not only the world but to himself that he is strong and worthy of his place in society. and while i will not say the things that happen to him in the series are deserved in ANY sense of the word (he is a victim--plain and simple) they do serve a function--teaching him to shed that ideal for himself and be who he really is. and who he really is, is a big brother with an open heart, who cries easily and loves wholly, who likes woodworking and comic books and making art, who just wants someone to tell him that he has done a good job.

tl;dr: no, jesse pinkman is not trans. but he is ours.

[bambi-kinos]

loved ur recent post on paul whump !! besides the linked one(which I've never read so thanks!) do you have👀👀 any recommendations👀👀👀👀

tl;dr - it's slim pickins out there.

First let's bring back an old differentiation: there's physical whump and then emotional whump, and that was an important distinction back in the day. I have looked for both and while there are some good emotional whump pieces, there is no readable physical whump besides the su!c!d3 fic. Physical whump is more of an action movie thing and in general Beatles fandom is not terribly interested in action and adventure so they don't write it. And the thing is, that's fine, that's a valid choice that anyone can make and we should write about the things we enjoy and not what we think others expect. But it also means that Paul whump fics basically don't exist in modern fandom as we know it. There are probably some on LJ or in the Google Docs McLennon archive since Stargate and Smallville were so big on LJ at the time and there was more x-fandom pollination but I don't want to Snipe hunt right now.

(For the record, I do have something in the works to fix this hole but it won't come out until next year if we're lucky.)

Emotional whump is more plentiful and there's well written stuff out there for sure. Most of the emotional whump I've enjoyed is centered around John's suffering and while Paul's misery is apparent it's not the focus of those pieces. So this took some digging into my bookmarks and memory. What I like in a good Paul whump fic is how his own arrogance and narcissist tendencies come back to bite him OR he's having to put up with John's shit when John is being horrible.

In that spirit, here are my recommendations for decent emotional whump focused on Paul:

Barcelona - Selena. I enjoy this one because Selena let's Paul be a whole person here. It's not just John and Brian bothering him, it's the fact that he's trapped with someone who reminds him of what he's lacking and how this hurts him, both now and in the past. Parallels to the Barcelona situation are subtle and well drawn so you get all of the agony without being hit over the head with it. John is opaque to Paul who doesn't understand why he's acting like this which is a nice change from what we often see in fanfic where John just blurts out what he's feeling. Here we see how much Paul suffers when John is trying too hard to be clever.

A Hole in the World - RosalindBeatrice. Linda bears witness to the aftermath of John's murder in Paul. Easily the absolute best fanfiction on this list.

Birthday - Selene. Love this one because Selene writes Paul as an actual character instead of the heteronormative girly thing he often gets slapped with. Paul is once again bitter, angry and unhappy because the boy he fell in love with has already disappeared. He is forced to be the adult in a room full of manchildren and he hates it...but he also sucks it up and does it anyway. Because he is Paul McCartney and being the foundation of The Beatles and cleaning up John's messes is exactly what he signed up for and he will do it because no one else can. I think of this one all the time. It lives rent free in my head.

Red Sky - thinkpink20. What I appreciate about thinkpink20 is that she is brave enough to let John be absolutely awful but she also humanizes him so you can see his inner pain and confusion driving that horribleness. This is a nice one where John is no where near to figuring himself out but Paul is, and then when Stuart's living shadow gets into the mix, no one is happy.

From Barcelona To Santa Cruz - thinkpink20. Another post-Spain fic but this time John articulates his defense well which of course humiliates and angers Paul even further because John proves he is human and capable of empathy, which Paul didn't want to write into the equation.

the crane wife - mynamesbetty. Betty was showing me the first drafts of this one and all I could say was: "Paul is a horrible person. He's a fucking homewrecker. He deserves this." That's what I like best about this story. Paul is a selfish asshole and he hurts everyone and himself by being self centered, petulant, and cowardly. Every single awful thing that happens to him is strictly the result of his own actions. He manages to make himself the Coyote in a Looney Tunes cartoon including the bit where he runs straight off the cliff, doesn't realize it, and then looks down just as he starts falling before he shoots the viewer a look asking for help. And then the ACME anvil falls on him.

So those are my recommendations on Paul whump. It ended up being a longer list than I expected so that's something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations and please check out the other fanfics by these authors, they're all great.

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush Finale: I'm Going to Miss This Show

Honestly tl;dr on this post is that this show is great, it ended leaving me the way the show has felt for me week to week, which is a good thing. I've said it too many times in tags and posts but let's say it once more: This show is fundamentally kind, it felt like it was giving me a hug every week, and I'm going to miss that a lot.

In my post after ep10 I mentioned that the writing on this show was making me so happy by having the conflicts converge on this one contest, and that did come to fruition in a way that I found very satisfying. The one nitpick I will say is the bullying storyline did feel dropped. Theoretically, from a thematic read, I actually love that, because these bullies had the best possible comeuppance by becoming completely irrelevant to Prem, Dy, and Samsee's lives and utterly forgotten. They failed at getting them kicked out of the contest, failed at eroding their self-esteem, and failed at preventing them from succeeding. The victory over the bullies is really how these three left that contest still feeling proud of themselves, good about what they accomplished, and optimistic about their futures. The show focusing on their group hug rather than the "winners" of the contest underscores that for me. And I love that we get the timeskip to see Prem's chef's table restauraunt, and that all of them are there as the first customers (including Metha, so glad this MVP stayed part of the group!). However, without the show telling me explicitly that should be my takeaway, I hesitate to assume that's what it meant to do (rather than the show just running out of time). It's satisfying enough for me, but I acknowledge that I had to fill in that detail on my own to be satisfied. And I am willing to do that for this show because it did such a good job with the other threads.

The conflict with Ten's dad was so satisfyingly tied up in Prem wanting to win the contest--not just to prove that he was worthy of Ten, but to be able to pay Ten's father back for the money he'd gotten--and I appreciated how Ten's resolution with his father was nuanced and not perfect. His father showed his support and gave verbal acknowledgment of Prem as a suitable partner but remained distant, and that visual contrast of him sitting at the restaurant table alone in the same spot he used to sit with Ten and his mother was telling. He doesn't apologize, but he doesn't get an easy redemption either; it felt very in character that he'd only accept Prem in Ten's life after Prem proved himself over time (and only after Ten continued to prove that he was still going to live up to his father's expectations while dating Prem).

I referenced in my Fire & Dynamite hype post that one of the things their relationship does for Dy is give him confidence that someone will be there in his corner. When he came out of the room having lost and was the only one without someone to hug, my heart dropped. But his did too, and it's because he knew, in that moment, that something was wrong. He had learned to expect and rely on Fire's presence, and that growth is something I loved to see. The way he went searching for Fire rather than internalizing that Fire wasn't there for him, and then was able to be there for Fire in the confrontation with Fire's mom--that meant so much to me. It was subtle, but compare it with the scene in ep10 when Fire shows up at the contest and Dy is surprised to even see him. My boy has grown so much! That confrontation with the mom was also really well done; I loved that Fire made it clear his sexuality was not Dy's 'fault' but was something he'd hidden from his mother and tied all of that up in his dynamic with her overall: that he's afraid to share his true self with her because he's afraid of disappointing her. This was such a huge moment for Fire, and I was so proud of him! And I love that it took her time to go away with that, sit with it, and decide to take it in and to change. And I also love that she still doesn't really like Dy, and that their relationship is antagonistic tolerance lol that was a satisfyingly realistic place for those relationships to land, and I really appreciated that none of that was easy. The look on Dynamite's face when he sees Fire's mother accepting him was so complicated; I absolutely loved Aungpao in that scene. Seeing someone you love being accepted for something you weren't by your own parent is so complicated a feeling--I don't doubt for a second that he was so happy for Fire, but there's a moment where I'm sure he was also feeling sorry for himself (rightly so). And Aungpao was able to communciate that complexity of emotion. I'm really looking forward to seeing more from him in future.

And the way they retained the Ten and Prem communication dynamics all the way through was so satisfying for me! I wrote a really long post about this halfway through the series here, and I haven't felt the need to do anything as thorough for the back half because the show really just kept doing more of the same (and I loved it every time). But, just to highlight this moment in the finale, when Ten asks Prem to say he loves him, and Prem kisses him and asks if Ten can hear him--for once, Ten doesn't ask him to use his words, he just asks Prem to say it louder (i.e. kiss him more), because Prem is now using his words more regularly and Ten finally understands what he means with his gestures, he no longer has uncertainty requiring the reassurance of explicit communication. It was a really cute nod to their continued pattern through this show, and to the deepening of the understanding between them.

Tying this moment from the finale to one of the broader things I found so comforting about this show: The relationship between Ten and Prem took work, which they showed on-screen, both the initial formation and the maintenance. And in that work, we got to see a couple stay together through difficult times, decide together how to handle problems as they come up, support one another through hardships, comfort one another, give one another strength, and ultimately make one another better at the things they were trying to achieve. Even though there was very little fighting in a literal sense, these two are my ultimate battle couple to date. I wanted to hug this show back every week as these characters made choices I'd been yelling at my screen for protagonists to make for literally years. And there was still conflict, and the characters still had growing to do, and they weren't perfect. But they let one another not be perfect, they let one another be hurt, and then work through that together. This relationship has skyrocketed to one of my favourites in any BL.

And as much as I love this core relationship, as well as the incredibly nuanced queerness of Dynamite and Fire's dynamic, which was so satisfying to see depicted on my screen every week too, and which I will absolutely love forever--the way Dy gave Fire space to figure out how and when to come out even to the point of risking his own precarious housing situation, and then supporting him by being honest about what to expect (and what he will be risking) is something I will also hold this close to my heart as one of my favourite BL moments--the best thing about this show was the core friendships. I will be forever thankful for a show that treated its core queer friendships with the same or even higher priority to the romantic relationships. I've written previously about how exciting it was to me that one of the major conflicts in this show was between the friend group, and I want to call that out again because it was so rare and so satisfying as an arc. And that moment in episode 10 when Ten delays asking Prem to be his boyfriend in order to allow Prem his emotional reunion with his friends was such an important gesture--not just for Ten and Prem, but for the Cooking Crush audience. It was so rare and satisfying to see a show prioritize friendship first.

Alright I've ranted enough. If you weren't sure about this show for whatever reason (too much else to watch; heard rumblings about some of the early episodes; didn't want to trust GMMTV again), I am happy to tell you that if you like good character arcs, solid writing, class dynamics, queer representation, found family dynamics, good communication, couples that stay together and persevere as a team, and lovable dorks, this show was wonderful and it holds up.

AND IT LET TEN KEEP HIS GLASSES ON THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH!!

I'd recommend the uncut version, which is available for free with a Thai VPN on WeTV or grey, but the cut version is available on YouTube and a couple of very cool tumblr folks have summarized and provided clips of the cut bits so nobody has to miss out: @respectthepetty (here) and @keepthetension (here). Thank you both for your hard work every week!

[silverskye13]

just binged all of redstone and skulk in one go. HOLY SHIT!!! i left some comments on ao3 but that wasn't enough. i needed to come to your tumblr too bc this fic has Changed Me A Little. it makes sense- i've been subscribed to you on ao3 for a while (remember hound's tooth? i think that was when i started following your writing. and monsters splitting hairs, although i'm not quite caught up on that one), and that was for a good reason- but tanguish and helsknight are something else! part of why i like fanfiction is because i get to see more of characters i already like- it takes a special fic to get me so invested in characters i've basically just met! and you do it so well! like. the subtle character things! the way i can pick out the hermits' (and martyn's, but i'm calling him a hermit for the sake of convenience) traits in the helsmits, but warped and twisted around like a funhouse mirror? fantastic. i love it. im eating that shit up. the ilttle differences and similarities between tango and tanguish, helsknight and wels (bc he isn't acting very knightly right now), impulse and the demon- it's so cool to see! i also saw the other ask you got where you talked about your process, and how you give your characters a list of traits as a guide to writing them- i'm definitely going to have to borrow that trick. it works! so well! it shows in your writing in the consistency of how the characters behave!

some other thoughts i had while reading:

helsknight being religious probably has a lot more to do with him being a knight than wels being a lutheran irl (which is where his name comes from and i find that hilarious), but still. if it's unintentional it's hilarious and if it's on purpose then it's a fun easter egg!

i relate to and understand tanguish, because i too would want to befriend helsknight, and also because if a bunch of big scary people basically adopted me and tried to teach me how to use a knife i would be so pathetic about it.

i relate to and understand helsknight and tango, because tanguish is the weirdest little cat ever and i too am captivated by his pathetic little freak charms, and i want to be his friend.

i neither relate to nor understand wels, because 1) if i saw my friend's presumably-evil counterpart skulking around the shopping district i would likely call them first (just seems like the polite thing to do, and also bc if helsknight showed up and the ppl who found him didn't call wels about it i feel like he'd probably be more than a little pissed), and 2) look at tanguish. he's just a little guy. he's a little guy and it's his birthday. how could you be mean to him.

tl;dr: redstone and skulk has compelled me to the point that leaving comments on ao3 wasn't enough, i needed to ramble straight into your inbox because it's just so good.

Oh my gosh! Firstly: thank you for all the kind words! I'm glad you're liking my writing so far, and thank you both for the comments and the scurry into the inbox. I love hearing people's thoughts, even if I don't have the spoons to respond to everyone all the time :'D

For your bullet points:

-- I didn't know Wels was Lutheran! I knew he was ex-military, and at least in my family's trends, military and religiosity go hand in hand, so it makes sense. But still! Learning new fun facts! I know nothing about the Lutheran Church [I was raised Baptist.] Probably gonna do some reading later.

-- I feel like Tanguish is going through that phase of "all the biker/military uncles have decided I'm one of them for some reason" and as someone who has gone through that before, for the same baffling non-reasons [used power tools in their presence once, a la Tanguish barely participating in a fight once] I sympathize. Very interesting somewhat scary people. Why did you invite me to sit at your table. Why do you keep slipping me tequila and buying me knives like I'm in on the joke.

-- Tanguish is such a specimen we all just want to look at him under a microscope. He is so scared yet so brave. He thinks knives are scary but he leaps off buildings. He's scared of getting hurt and seeing blood but he has no regard for his personal safety. How do you fit so many oxymorons in such a tiny body---

-- Wels please, he's a little guy and it's his birthday! Stop bullying him!!

Addendum: I agree Jackrabbit is very Tanguish coded. It is now on the playlist.

Want to live like an animal?

By the skin of your teeth?

Put your good face on, you're foolin' no one

You're a jackrabbit underneath

One step forward, step right back

Run for the hills, honey, run for the hills, honey

Run for the hills, don't look back

[deusvervewrites]

DFtR: AfO wants to steal Midoriya's Quirk for 3 main reasons.

1: Gloom Aura is aesthetic AF

2: Drain Life is the kind of fire-and-forget attack he loves

3: Necromancy is the ultimate in Evil Overlord misdeeds

Tl;dr Midoriya is targeted for capture at the camp.

I don't actually think Midoriya would tell people about the ghost thing if he could avoid it. Like, yeah, soulbinding familiars so that they can physically manifest isn't exactly subtle, but before that point Midoriya only knew he could see ghosts. And that can be a lot to take in, not only because of the implications but emotionally. I think he'd hold that card close to the chest and pretend that the life drain is all he can do whenever he can get away with it.

Though, I do agree that the weird aura and the life drain are up his alley, he also already has access to Decay and the thing he does that makes people hallucinate their own deaths, so.

But if AFO did learn about the ghost thing, he'd stop at nothing to get it. Forget turning Tenko against All Might--imagine forcing her ghost to fight him!

[not-poignant]

For the behind the scenes asks 20, 21 & 26 about A Stain That Won't Dissolve please!! <slightly obsessed w it rn

Ahhh - so I have 21 in the queue, it's coming! The TL;DR for that one is 'I didn't expect so many people to apologise for the way the town behaves towards Alex, and it's like watching abuse apologism and self-defense of inaction around familial abuse in real time, which is a weird phenomenon that happens sometimes when you write trauma narratives.'

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

Hmm.

I don't know if it's something I wish for, so much as something that I think people don't notice as much and I think it would be interesting if they did.

Things like... it's a shame more people don't realise that the reason Alex isn't a 'good communicator' is because no one in that town is except for maybe Dr Harvey. Even Haley, who is getting better, is a people pleaser who undercut herself and her skills all her life. People can't learn what isn't around them to learn. So when I get comments like 'I wish Alex would just open up to these people in the town' I can't help but always think: 'Why would he based on how the town has treated him for a solid 25 years.'

For me, connecting these dots naturally flows together, but I've had 10 years of practice writing trauma recovery, and 43 years of practice experiencing many different kinds of abuse and many different flavours of trauma recovery and I think, actually, I now have a weird skillset in this area that other folks don't have, or don't even know exist. So it's not something I 'wish' they noticed because firstly it would likely mean more readers who are victims, but secondly, I also appreciate having this be something more subtle, and it's not like I'm upset or angry when people say that Alex is the poor communicator because like, he is. He's a symptom of the entire town.

So it's like, it's normal for people to notice what's right in front of them (Alex not communicating well and then thinking his problems would be solved if he just talked about stuff, because there's this presumption that everyone wants to listen if he'd just...talk), that's actually the fun part of writing? I love the comments people leave so much, and I learn a ton, and I love the insights folks share. I'm sure people are noticing a lot of stuff like this and just not saying so. Especially folks who have lived these situations and just can't be fucked talking about it in comments because life's hard. (And it's also possible to notice that and still be mad or frustrated that Alex doesn't communicate more).

I don't think there's really anything else though. I think that's partly because I'm not... uhhh, sitting there going 'PLEASE NOTICE THIS' because the gift of writing serials for the most part is pivoting when people aren't noticing something subtle, and thinking 'this might be me not meeting the reader where they are, I can step it up in the next chapter.' So, I feel like I flow towards pushing the things I want people to notice or gravitate towards, and as a result, they almost always do.

And with the stuff they don't, there's usually extremely understandable life-experienced-based reasons for that!

...This response is really long x.x

26. Wild Card! I'll tell you a fun fact about this fic!

I have actually always imagined Alex and Sebastian making out together. I imagined it even before I wrote The Wind that Cuts the Night, but Alex/Sebastian fics existed, I didn't like them (no shade to those authors, but I clearly wanted a very specific crunchy kind of angsty toppy Sebastian fic and very understandably no one was writing my fantasies they were writing their own lmao), and I thought Elliott/Alex would be faster to write. (It was).

That's actually one of the reasons I make it clear that Sebastian is gay and topping the farmer in The Wind that Cuts the Night! And also why I felt it was important for Alex to know that. Even back then, I couldn't resist just a little tiny glimmer of some kind of chemistry, even if it was just friendship chemistry.

I find Sebastian really annoying as a spouse. He's one of my favourite NPCs to romance, and my least favourite to marry of the ones I marry. The storyline of Martingale divorcing him is based off me daydreaming about doing that (I can't because it's mean) in one of my farms. I found him cold and detached compared to many other NPC spouses, and too work-focused. So the premise of an older Sebastian recovering from being divorced for these exact flaws was extremely appealing and vindicating to me. Most people don't feel the same way about in-game Sebastian as I do, but I'm like 'you have so much potential and then oh no.' It turned out Martingale felt that way too, and eventually did something about it.

And that gave me a really flawed Sebastian to work with and that's been awesome.

I did always imagine him as being a dominant/top/sadist though. It's actually really hard for me to imagine him as anything else.

I don't think this fact is fun but it is a fact! Sebastian is a character I love but he's also literally 'I can improve him' and this fic is me doing that lol

~

From this meme!

[vaguely-concerned]

I listened to the first episode of vows and vengeance and... god. god forget waiting for veilguard, how the fuck am I going to survive the wait between each episode of this???? tl;dr: I loved it, I love dragon age, I love audio dramas, I love voice acting and music, I love thedas, I am IMMEDIATELY painfully invested. if nadia doesn't get her sweet fancy lad back whole and unharmed by the end of this I am killing everyone in tevinter and then myself.

more thoughts under the cut! not a lot of deep analysis just flailing and feelings today haha

I hadn't realized that elio would be a magister! idk if it was in any marketing beforehand, but if so I didn't pay enough attention to remember it lol. he sounds like he might be prime lucerni-material politically, so I'm a little sad we didn't get even a subtle dorian or maevaris easter egg in there, as far as I could tell, but hey, you can't have everything. (honestly unless BIG changes are upon us (which tbf they probably are) it might be just as well that this went down as it did, b/c I'm not sure how long elio would survive in the magisterium that we've heard tell of, he's quite -- either soft and shortsighted, or politically reckless, I think nadia was right there.)

I found nadia, elio and their dynamic very effectively introduced -- the fact that they haven't quite figured out how to be good to each other yet but so clearly both desperately want to be and are willing to work for that is a smart place to start the story. it makes it feel all the sadder if they never get the chance to work it all out, because I think they could have every chance to, given the time.

The voice actors for the central characters are all wonderful (orin's was. fine! doing a good enough job with a slightly more thankless role, let's call it that.) also so nice to hear people humming the tavern songs we heard in inquisition. god I love thedas I'm so glad we're getting to go right back in there soon

The episode was longer than I thought they would get, and it was all the better for it! I'm so happy it seems they'll get the space they need to tell this story, especially since nadia appears to be setting out on quite a continent-spanning odyssey here (I'm so sorry about your life nadia)

SOLAS solas solas! solas. solas!!!! he is such a BITCH and I love him so much. he is being aggressively himself and I didn't realize just how much I'd missed him. no one gets me frustrated quite like you baby you know better than this I KNOW you could know better than this why do you never learn a single thing I know you have the capacity somewhere in there. patron saint of endlessly fucking up. WHERE do you get off being condescending to nadia when all your ~*brilliant*~ plans backfire catastrophically on you every single time solas. yeah of course you're sorry, and you fucking better be, if she stabbed you I'd be sad but also like 'yeah I mean you had that one coming sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' about it!!! what the fuck. come home please

such a weird feeling to have him be an ominous stranger on the road to elio and nadia while I was standing there with my arms crossed and my foot tapping irritably like 'oh so now he shows his face, there he is. my husband. my ex-husb -- my nemesis and poor little meo -- it's complicated alright. he's in the dog house, but the dog house he's in is still mine'. I do adore how unstoppably solas clearly wants to be a teacher, he works so hard to be mysterious and aloof but the lonely insufferable chatterbox knowitall jumps out at every turn.

neve trying and almost succeeding in freezing the whole bay I'm

like. okay then! much to think about

the only thing I'm not a big fan of is the characters calling out in-game spells in sort of a self-indulgent way, but hell if I know how else you'd communicate exactly what's going down magically in an audio format like this so y'know. very easily forgiven from my side honestly

[vasyandii]

I just saw your blog rn and I'm absolutely obsessed with Nak and krueger- how did their relationship start ? (Unless this question has already been answered-)

Much love!

KruegerNak- How did their relationship start?

Howdy Lancecorporalderby!! I'm really glad you enjoy my KruegerNak brainrot enough to send an ask xD

I'm assuming this is asking how their romantic relationship started?? Please feel free to clarify as I often get confused. If you don't wanna read allat I'll have a TL;DR at the bottom :3

So before they got together, it was a progression of stuff!

Before they were lovers, they were friends (before that they honestly didn't like each other)

When they stopped that whole phase of trying to have the other end up hospitalized because of something they said; they actually liked getting to know each other.

Krueger and Nak just started calling each other on their days off, just to talk or text about whatever; Asking each other about their childhoods and interests, just listening to the other complain about some dumb show their streaming service offered. After all they had nothing better to do outside of missions.

After a few weeks these calls turned into like late night thing; just talking until one of them falls asleep because they both didn't realise they've been talking for HOURS. Usually it would be the same stuff + subtle flirting from the both of them occasionally.

I like to think Krueger fell first, he welcomed the feeling. He liked how she carried herself; Confident, Intelligent, Assertive. He likes impressing her whenever he can. He's not really a looks guy, but it also helps that she's really pretty. He didn't really do anything about it, because he wanted to see how things will go.

Nak liked him a bit later. Like a month later. It took her about a week to figure out if her feelings were platonic or romantic since she had trouble distinguishing the two. She, after finding out it was romantic- told him immediately after; just to get it out of the way, worst he can do is say no.

He didn't, obviously. So they went on their first date the next weekend and things just kind of happened from there.

Nak doesn't know how relationships work, he's the first guy where she liked enough to pursue. She doesn't like how in the West there's so many fancy terms for what a relationship is (situationship, fuck buddies, talking stage, etc.).

They decided not to put a label on it during the initial stages or so.

Context: In Laos when you confess to someone and they like you back you're basically officially together at that point.

but then Krueger was like "Nah fuck that noise. We're thing. I wanna be your kind-of sort-of boyfriend, Phayvanh."

TL;DR : after getting to know each other, Nak told the mid white man she liked him. Mid white man reciprocated the feeling because hes been pining for like 2 months and the rest is history

Thank you for reading this if you made it this far, sorry if it seems kind of incoherent my brain is a bit fried at the moment ;0;) !!

[sodapopboy]

ponyboy x cherry is soooooo jigsaw falling into place (radiohead) coded. (i feel like ponyboy would definitely listen to radiohead if they existed in the 60s but that’s another post for another day)

anyway, that scene in the movie where they lock eyes for a moment before cherry turns away to catch up with her friends and ponyboy looks so. disappointed. do you see where i’m going with this

i definitely feel like cherry can’t even think about ponyboy because she thinks about johnny and then she thinks about bob. say what you want about that fucked up bitch but cherry loved him, and he (seemingly) loved her back.

cherry isn’t dumb, she knows johnny had to kill bob or else bob would’ve killed ponyboy and johnny himself soon after, that’s why she acted as a double spy. but also, seeing ponyboy— a greaser who was so smart, so genuine, so kind and unlike any other guy she’s seen from the east side being put into such a situation genuinely kills her. and knowing that her boyfriend was the reason for all of it? knowing that she could’ve been the reason for it?

that’s another thing. both of them have a really bad habit of blaming themselves for what happened. cherry sees her refusing to hang out with bob as the reason to why johnny and dally died, and ponyboy sees him deciding to stay out with johnny in the lot instead of going home as the reason why his two best friends are dead.

they resent each other. a lot. even if they don’t exchange anything besides glances, they always have the lingering question of what if we never met each other? would we still have the people we cherished most? but they know neither has the answer.

maybe one day, cherry’s soc friends pick on ponyboy subtle-but-not-so-subtly behind his back during gym class or something, and it leads to a long overdue confrontation of what they both feel.

i don’t know. i can see them healing together and learning from each other’s perspectives, platonic or romantic— it doesn’t matter. just. them. i actually love this dynamic more than i thought woah

tl;dr ponyboy and cherry are BISEXUAL BADDIES and it kill me☹️

[tcfactory]

"Linguan-Jun and Mu Qingfang together" That just hit me like a shark hurled out from a tornado

I need to know more

Okay, so I'm kinda writing a fic with this? It's not the focus (though I'm really tempted to write a follow-up when it will be) but it goes something like this:

For a start, I'm kinda using this idea as a jumping off point. Tl;dr.: Linguang-jun is not much older than our Mobei-jun, but he's essentially doing all the managerial positions in the Northern Palace because his brother sucks. There's a whole bonding moment between Qinghua and Linguang-jun over making a stupidly big party happen on a stupidly short deadline, because once again, the current Mobei-jun sucks. Afterwards Qinghua gets his Mobei and Linguang-jun to talk through the whole losing-baby-Mobei-in-the-human-realm incident and reconcile.

So when a few weeks later Mobei finds his uncle sick and passed out with a high fever, he takes him to the safest place he knows: Qinghua's apartment. Qinghua gets jumpscared by his System doing a doom countdown and a quest implying Linguang-jun will die if he's not treated, runs off to the medicine peak to steal some drugs.

There he runs into head disciple Mu, who is very concerned about why his hamster shidi is trying to steal very serious meds. And insists on helping whatever sick friend Shang-shidi is hiding...

So Mu Qingfang gets involved (and he drags in Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu too, but they are not that important) and treats Linguang-jun, who wakes up a few days later and the first thing he sees is the very handsome disciple Mu tending to him. And since the universe still mostly runs of yellow book logic, "handsome healer nursing someone back to health from the brink of death" is a very powerful instant-falling-in-love plot device.

So Mu Qingfang gets a demon suitor. Linguang-jun can't sneak onto the peaks the way Mobei can, so he keeps hounding him when he's out doing his rounds off the mountain. Pros: fast travel with handsome, rich demon is convenient and comfy. He can get his hands on all the demon realm ingredients his heart desires. Cons: Linguang-jun doesn't do subtle. Like, at all. Half the countryside is talking about the 'rich young master with the permanent wardrobe malfunction' courting healer Mu. All the head disciples in the know are running interference to cover for them (thank fuck the An generation is ascending soon, Mu Qingfang's shizun would have a heart attack if she heard that there's a demon courting her smart little cabbage).

Shang Qinghua finds it really funny. Mobei-jun is taking notes on how to court a future peak lord. Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu set their conflict aside to keep their shidis and their idiot demons out of trouble.

Fun times and severe headaches are had by all. The wedding is going to be a blast, done entirely in human-style and arranged by Mu Qingfang's family and Cang Qiong, because Linguang-jun absolutely refuses to do any amount of organizing for his own goddamn wedding. Let someone else work for a change, you know?

[spiri-a]

Ello ello ello this is a rant about a Good Omens fic I like

(Pssst.... TL;DR: It’s One Miraculous December by @journeytogallifrey)

Just a while ago I was agonizing over what kind of post I should post (even though no one’s gonna read this and this accounts only purpose is to spitball all my thoughts at a rapid pace) and I suddenly realized: hey! I like fanfics! And good omens! And sometimes I finish fanfics and I have so much thought vomit stirring around inside me I need to write it down somewhere! Then BOOM this is that this is my ramble baby. This is just my poor excuse to talk and talk and talk for several paragraphs straight. Please do not enter if you don’t want to be bombarded by what is probably several thousand words sorted into 5 or 6 sections.

This will probably be part of a series where I talk uh *cough* extensively about different fanfics, different series for different fandoms probably because I don’t think the Good Omens fandom and Carry On fandom interact with each other very much at all (maybe I’ll do books in general later on down the line, but that’d be a separate series too)

Just to be safe I won’t talk about anything too spoilery, giving some minor spoilers that get talked about in the first chapters anyways. This is a pretty lighthearted fic anyways so nothing much to worry about this time!

Ok now actually let’s get started. Anyways this is a fic I read a while ago that I really really liked:

One Miraculous December (T)

By @journeytogallifrey

Ok so this was the first fic I read by journeytogallifrey, and I read it during a time over the summer where day in and day out I had nothing to do but walk and walk and walk and occasionally read on my phone (Doesn’t make sense to read a Christmas fic over the summer but whatever)

I thought this was just gonna be a casually good long fic to fill up the time but boy was I wrong I LOVED this

Let me tell you this fic was the love of my life for the week and a half or so I was reading it. I was SO INSANELY shocked and confused when I realized this fic was 187,00 WORDS after finishing

But anyways I’m getting off track again (this post is my ramble baby after all) so let’s start with what this fic is abt and then I’ll talk about my favorite things

Spiri Stfu Whats The Fic About Already

Summary (pulled from fic):

Candles. Mistletoe. An entire frozen lake. Festive memories from their past together keep appearing out of nowhere.

Crowley's sure he's manifesting them accidentally out of sheer romantic desperation. It's bad enough trying to hide his unrequited love as they grow closer post-Apocaloops - what if Aziraphale sees the objects for what they are, a window into his yearning soul? Unfortunately, the only way to banish the objects seems to be talking about each memory...

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is just trying to woo his demon boyfriend with big gestures, ready to prove his devotion. And if Crowley acts awkward about the miracles? Surely that's just his difficulty accepting affection. The solution: shower him with as much of it as possible...

Eventually these two will communicate, even if it takes 'til the end of the year. For now there will be cuddling, excuses for closeness, sappy words, flashbacks, nostalgia, bickering, and an obscene variety of holiday foods. Oh, and footnotes. That's right. We're doing those too.

Fills for the Ineffable Holiday 2020 prompt list by Caedmon. Updates every day through the end of December.

Basically TLDR: Sappy reminders of soft moments between Crowley and Aziraphale throughout history keep popping up. Crowley thinks he’s doing it subconsciously and is worried about his super duper secret feelings being revealed, meanwhile Aziraphale is executing the least subtle (but somehow still too subtle) seduction plan ever concocted (it will take these two sillies a WHILE to get sorted out)

Ok now let’s move on to all the lovely things I love about this lovely fic in special lovely little sections (Once again, I’m sorry for the sheer size of this behemoth)

Pt 1: Charming Little Footnotes, My True Love ❤︎❤︎❤︎

From the very first chapter, I was completely and utterly enchanted by one silly little thing: the footnotes!! Those who have read the Good Omens book will understand: footnotes are amazing!! They often offer absolutely ZERO important information, and you could go practically the entire book never reading the footnotes and get the same general ideas as someone who did. BUT, they’re just so charming, why would you NOT read them?? They’re often unnecessary, but in a perfect and wonderfully niche way. I don’t need to understand the backstory or fun fact behind this randomly selected instant, moment, or person, but it’s so stupidly heartwarming to that I love to do it anyway. It’s like I’m being let in on a secret between me and the author, like they leaned over while someone else is talking and made a somewhat silly comment into my ear that makes you try to suppress your little smile in response.

Journeytogallifrey does this AMAZINGLY. They offer heartwarming insight on the most mundane things, and I enjoy every second of it. One of my personal favorite instances is funnily enough in the very first chapter, the footnote that first captured my heart and that I remembered throughout the entire fic. In chapter one, Aziraphale miracles for the floor of the bookshop to become a frozen lake, and he convinces Crowley to ice skate with him, reminiscing on a time they skated together centuries before. And THIS was the footnote that followed midway through the chapter:

*In fairness to the skates, they’ve had an intense couple of hours.

Mere moments before they found themselves in a 2019 bookshop, they’d only just been set down by Crowley and Aziraphale in 1860 and were debating the finer points of their recent skating adventure. Two of them, having hosted a lovely angel with excellent manners, were of a firmly positive opinion. The other two, terrorized by a demon who had berated them for trembling with fear, were engaged in a thorough character assassination of not only their tormentor but also anyone who would willingly befriend him.

“But they’re desperately in love with each other,” posited the skates worn by the angel.

“That’s beside the point,” answered the others, and that was when a miracle scooped them up and catapulted them a century and a half into the future**.

**Aziraphale, somehow, picked out the same two skates to wear in 2019 as in 1860, despite shoe sizes being less a concrete number for him and more ‘something that automatically sets itself to rights upon entrance of the foot’, so further experience has offered little to settle the argument.

THIS FOOTNOTE, THIS MOMENT, was perfection in my eyes. The completely absurd idea of two pairs of ice skates having a conversation, this conversation being about their wearers, a judgement of their character, a silly argument and observation of their silly hemming and hawing romance, was all so charming. It’s so unnecessary but also just. Completely STEALS your heart. Then there’s the footnote-ception of a footnote within a footnote, a casual disregarding of order and professionalism for the sake of being novel and silly. Not to mention the double footnote commenting on Aziraphale’s incredibly charming naïveté on the more specific parts of human inventions, such as the concept of shoe sizes. As you may have noticed from my using the same exact word like 20 times, the only word that fits the entire charmingly unnecessary but delightful footnotes thing is silly. It’s perfect because it’s perfectly silly, and that just made my heart melt.

Journeytogallifrey keeps up these footnotes throughout the fic to a certain degree, and as a reader of the Good Omens book, it’s always such a joy to find fics that bother to use footnotes. And journeytogallifrey does this wonderfully, stuffing so much life and humor into them very similar to what I found great about the footnotes in the GO book. So that is reason one (in no particular order) that I love this fic

Moving on to reason 2!

Pt 2: YOU get a flashback, and YOU get a flashback

A large amount of this fic relies on the art of flashbacks, being directly tied to Aziraphale’s Plan of Seduction™︎, which just so you know goes as follows:

Every day of December, miracle up some kind of thingy (object, place, activity, etc)

Said thingy will function as the perfect reminder to reminisce about a not-a-date date you’ve had at some point throughout history

Really drive home how close you two are and absolutely drown him in affection

Keep seducing all through December

Confess at some point (exact date TBD)

Profit

As you might have noticed, the whole reminiscing thing works as an opening for truckloads of flashbacks. But let me tell you, these flashbacks are WORKS OF ART. Unfortunately, unlike the footnotes, I can’t single out a single FAVORITE flashback, because they’re practically ALL amazing.

Journeytogallifrey very obviously did a butt ton of research for this fic, something I find so incredibly amazing about the Good Omens fandom! Many GO authors will do extensive research for the sake of their Aziraphale and Crowley throughout history scenes, which is something I’ve always heavily admired within this fandom compared to others. And journeytogallifrey does this amazingly and extensively throughout this fic!

Each flashback had so much love, charm, and most interestingly historical depth in them. Each flashback acts as a charming little mini story of the various adventures the two had throughout history. The highs and lows of their relationships, the hidden affections, moments that were fun, stressful, intimate, scary, or just simply peacefully domestic, ALL of it was present in these flashbacks, and just utterly captured my heart. I managed to learn quite a decent amount through the little historical details mentioned throughout, especially if a specific detail caught my eye and I wanted to research further. (Because of this fic, my dream is to move to Iceland and celebrate Jólabókaflóðið every year)

I love the way these two act around each other throughout history, and the writing when describing everything from the setting around them to their clothes to their care for each other is phenomenal. Normally I don’t really use words like aesthetic, but the way the different places dotted around the world are described and how the two are described to fit into them, I feel like I’m transported TO that place in history. I can see the churches, deserts, orchards, streets, markets, or wherever they are right in front of me, and it’s frankly gorgeous.

I LOVE historical flashbacks like this in general in the Good Omens fandom, but this fic does this AMAZINGLY, and it does it A LOT, so that’s a serious win in my books.

Something I also found extremely lovely about the flashbacks, as well as the present day parts of the story, brings me to my next part:

Pt 3: Gender who? Gender what? Gender none, gender all!

The gender fluidity/fluidity of gender expression of both Aziraphale and Crowley makes my heart flutter like nothing else. Like seriously. This is one of the main reasons I love this fandom.

It has long been stated that angels and demons have no inherent gender, and within the show Crowley presents as male and female in varying instances. Neil Gaiman has heavily implied Crowley being gender fluid before. In response, the fandom has completely flourished into a beautiful thing of gender acceptance and flexibility.

The fanart of the Good Omens fandom makes me so happy, because people will draw Aziraphale and Crowley in any manner they choose without feeling the need to explain it or label it as an “alternate universe.” The simple casualness around the topic of gender in this fandom sets a precedent of tolerance for the rest of the world, and also just warms my heart in ways I can’t explain.

Journeytogallifrey embraces this part of the fandom with open arms, with both Aziraphale and Crowley taking on a variety of appearances and roles throughout the flashback. The detail of changing Crowley’s pronouns depending on the flashback whilst Aziraphale maintains he/him no matter his form is a wonderful touch, and made me stupidly happy. The same goes for Crowley changing appearances to fit the alias of Nanny Ashtoreth later on in the fic, as well as his discussion with Warlock that it is all still himself, no matter what form he takes.

In my opinion, the fluidity and ease in which gender, masculinity, and femininity is expressed by Aziraphale and Crowley, both through the flashbacks and in present day, is done wonderfully, and serves to demonstrate the reason why I love this fandom so incredibly much.

Pt 4: Stabbing me gently in the feels (that’s gotta be a song lyric somewhere)

Another thing is I thought the push and pull and tender misunderstandings of these two throughout the fic is AMAZING. The delicate handling of this relationship is super wonderful and feels so stupidly softly heart wrenching. Like you’re not ripping my heart to pieces, but just kind of tugging on it. Seriously, I just wanted to hold these two and hug them and explain all their misunderstandings and send them away holding hands. The angst is so soft and tender I really can’t complain too badly.

The setup conflict between the two is, like, absolutely genius. I love it. Aziraphale trying to woo Crowley with as many gifts and miracles as possible while also playing cutely dumb about it, meanwhile Crowley is freaking out because all these miracles his lovesick heart is creating subconsciously might expose his super special secret feelings to Aziraphale, and that’d be baaaad news huh?

It’s some wonderfully sweet irony that Aziraphale innocently playing dumb is convincing Crowley he’s conjuring little mini proclamations of his super confidential feelings, and that Crowley is desperately trying to hide signs of said super duper confidential feelings while Aziraphale is actively trying to woo said demon.

This creates a lovely pushing and pulling dynamic full of tenderness and love, and it KILLED ME SLOWLY. 10/10 high quality soft angst.

Side note: I really liked the way Aziraphale and Crowleys relationship with Warlock was covered in this fic, especially Crowley’s attachment to Warlock as his nanny who raised him ever since he was little. I thought the desire to reach out to Warlock post Apocalypse was really heartfelt and sweet, and it made me feel stupidly warm seeing Aziraphale help Crowley reach out and later on solidify that relationship with Warlock.

Pt 5: How are you still here?? If you are, here have this

So um…….. this ended up being really long. My bad. I mean no one’s gonna read this anyways but I still feel a little awkward standing at the end of this VERY long ramble baby.

I just wanted to end this off by saying that One Miraculous December was SUCH a great fic, full of coziness and charm and silliness and tenderness and a lovingly crafted holiday vibe unlike no other fic I’ve read. I will definitely be rereading this fic around Christmas time, the digital equivalent of snuggling up beside a warm fireplace with hot cocoa and a good book. I seriously loved this fic so much! Like, it was just good vibes the entire way through, and I have obviously been keeping up with journeytogallifrey’s works ever since I read this one. Please please please, read this fic and give it some serious love, because it deserves it so much. I don’t know how you did it mysterious person who probably doesn’t even exist, but you got to the end. Thank you for reading my dear little ramble baby about One Miraculous December by journeytogallifrey.

Now that was technically the end, but as an extra little thingy, here are some other recommendations of fics from journeytogallifrey, because they are a seriously talented author and have some amazing gems in there!

Here’s a list of my favorites:

Everything That’s Meant (T)

One of journeytogallifrey’s more recent and more popular works, this is an only slightly meta fic in which Aziraphale and Crowley are human actors playing the angel Raphael and the demon Asmodeus in the tv adaptation of Agnes Nutter’s novel Prophecies. The two actors have electrifying chemistry, but much stands in the way of the two of them, from Aziraphale’s complicated family to a haunted tv set to the things spread by the press about the two.

105,000 words (a big guy!), with 39 chapters, but such a joy to read! It’s a bit heavier in plot and emotions, and the romance is a little bit of higher stakes, but the soft moments between the two as they grow closer 100% makes up for it.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant (T)

The shortest one of my favorites at 7,000 words in a single chapter and lightly inspired by the Billy Joel song of the same name, it tells the story of childhood friends Aziraphale and Crowley both from in their youth and reunited as adults as they dine together at (surprise surprise) their favorite Italian restaurant. There’s some hidden feelings, light angst, high school gossip, and a whole lot of stuff that happens at the tables of this Italian restaurant. In general though, it’s a wonderful, lighthearted, bite-sized time.

Infernal Escapes (T)

Roughly 37,000 words, this fic is a cute and lighthearted romance set in an escape room place. Crowley is the long suffering employee of an escape room, and is enamored by the intelligence and enthusiasm of escape room newbie, Aziraphale. The two strike up a friendship built on their love of escape rooms, and a cute and easy romance ensues. This was such a joy to read, and their easy chemistry based on their shared passion for escape rooms is infectiously sweet. There is very little to no conflict or angst in this story, so it’s a slightly lengthy but incredibly easy ride, entirely smooth sailing. If you just wanna watch two strangers meet and fall in love without all the extra things (because like, same honestly), please read this.