#to all my trans followers or literally ANYONE who’s trans you are so so valid and I’m proud of you even if you haven’t come out

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

my best friends sister recently came out as trans and it’s really showing the subtle transphobia and bias around me

it’s never “she came out” or “she’s trans” it’s

“/deadname/ wants to be a girl”

“/deadname/ feels that he is trans”

idk man it’s just really off putting because to me it’s literally just an identity, it’s expression, it’s comfortability, and like, ok yes it’s a change if you’ve known this person as one name your whole life, but it’s just like a surname? if they choose to take the spouses last name that’s what you call them, not that different. pronouns, to be honest, are not difficult to adjust to. sorry, but if you’re ’uncomfortable’ calling someone by their preferred pronouns imagine how they feel. finally comfortable enough to tell people, and now you’re saying “sorry, I’m just having trouble adjusting to calling you by she/her.”

???????? it’s incredibly weird to me. anyway, thought I’d share bc trans people are so so important and even if we’re ‘progressing’ it’s subtle language that can actually hurt the most.

anyway anyway, so happy for her, and I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to come out, because especially where I live that’s not easy <3

[thepunkmuppet]

ok i just looked back through my blog and it looks like my big theory from way back last year has just… disappeared?? which i’m pretty annoyed about tbh, but i want to expand on it and update it anyway because the casting announcement and logo all validate it and make it a lot more interesting SO

my big magnus protocol theory and what i think the plot will be

so, this is a world completely without the Fears, until BAM. here they are. and with the arg, the encrypted messages and the glitchy aesthetic they seem to be going for, now further expanded on by the logo literally being a glitchy computer screen, i was thinking what if as the fears entered the universe, there was some kind of mass signal or energy surge.

imagine all the screens and electronics in the world suddenly go static, and a jumbled-up incomprehensible message (like the “statement remains” audio) can be heard everywhere, all around the world. and it goes on for around 20-30 minutes. and in those minutes, every single person in the world is fucking TERRIFIED. just frozen in absolute fear.

and of course this causes thousands and thousands of accidents and deaths and just generally terrifies everyone, so naturally every world government thinks it’s an attack of some kind. hence why we follow civil service workers, specifically those working for Incident Assessment and Response. this would be quite an incident!!

in these first few episodes following the signal, we also hear from the prime minister. and i originally thought it would be REALLY fun if the uk prime minister in this universe is the og Elias. i love this idea with all my heart for many reasons, but it doesn’t look like ben meredith will be in it, so i’ve had to modify it a bit. so, either the prime minister will be gwendolyn bouchard, who could either be a relative of elias or transfem elias (although, trans prime minister?? in this godforsaken country??) OR the tim fearon character, who could potentially be jonah magnus or a similar previously established character. but personally, i’m betting on miss gwendolyn, so keep that in mind as you read the rest of this.

and so at the end of the first or second episode, we hear this prime minister in a big meeting about the incident, and the episode ends on a cliffhanger that reveals what the unscrambled audio really was.

it’s mag 200. which is why jon and martin are (potentially) on the cast list. the fears are ushered into the universe using their voices.

but i think what would be an even cooler cliffhanger is if after this big reveal, after the tape squeals and basira says good luck, we hear something we’ve never heard before.

“oh, hello. are you still listening?”

OR

tim fearon’s voice.

so this is where the REDACTED names really come into play. idk what the actual plot will be, but my idea is that jon, martin, and the tim fearon character, who i personally think is the voice of the original jonah magnus, are:

1, stuck as “ghosts in the machine” of sorts, living on as disembodied glitchy voices and nothing more

2, are huge eldritch entities, who can speak through anything and anyone, maybe possess people, etc, and possibly act as similar entities to the fears in a way, creating their own avatars and suchlike - maybe to fight the fears in jon and martin’s cases

or 3, the fears use their voices to actually speak, probably through recordings and electronics, meaning the REDACTED isn’t just to conceal their characters, they actually just don’t have names

also this is a much smaller point but because her name and presumed age are so out of place in comparison to the rest of the cast, i think lady mowbray is a psychic or mystic woman of some kind rather than an actual noble woman, and will be able to talk to the new jon and martin, whatever they are

so yeah that’s it i guess! i hope all this makes sense, if anyone has any questions, anything to add or challenge, or just want to discuss it please please do!! i want to see what people think of this in light of all the new information because i LOVE this idea so much that if it doesn’t happen i might just write it myself lol

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Anon because reasons. I've been a transman for over ten years. I never thought I would reach out to a TERF but I'm seeing things in my community that scare me and I literally don't know what to do. The transwomen I follow suddenly started reblogging and making posts about protecting transwomen from rape/pedo allegations but I'm conflicted because I was raped by my uncles when I was little. I feel like I'm going crazy idk why I'm asking you I just feel so dysregulated and distressed. Please don't hurt me or expose me, idk what they would do if they realized I was talking to terfs.

I have no wish or intent to hurt or expose you, so have no fear of that. To be upfront: I am a feminist. I do see sexual assault primarily as a hate crime men commit against women and girls (rape). Women and girls being female humans and men being male ones. But you already knew that. For the purposes of this response, however, I will use gender neutral language where possible.

Honestly, ten years ago I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now. I was considering identifying as agender and was only just starting to become uncomfortable with trans activists. The biggest reason was, even back then, protecting predatory behaviour. Unfortunately, as the years have gone by it's only gotten worse. Maybe it's not something you've come across until now, so I imagine this must be a shock, or maybe the people around you doing it used a lot of weasel words and it hasn't become apparent until now.

Either way it's a terrible thing to realize the people you consider your community just don't think sexual assault is that big a deal, especially when they've said it is, but their actions are showing otherwise.

It's a betrayal to those of us who have been sexually assaulted and don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again. Especially if the person who sexually assaulted you was someone you trusted. What your uncle did to you was already a horrific betrayal. To know someone you respect would say he should be protected from your allegations if x reason (in this case if he identified as trans, but this can happen in other ways; someone I greatly respected called Julian Assange a friend after he raped two women; that sucked and I stopped keeping up with him after that) is a betrayal on top of that.

I was molested by my stepfather and some fucked up shit happened when my biological father showed me off to his friends when I was a toddler. I know that pain well. "Valid" is a word that's certainly been over-used and misused, but right now I'm going to use in the way it was used at the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre I attended: your feelings on this are valid.

Sexual assault is one of the worst things a person can do to someone. Saying that people who do those things should be protected for any reason, that alleged victims should be doubted, that alleged perpetrators should be given the benefit of the doubt is fucked up. You are not in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable and worse about it. That just shows you have your humanity.

Now, I'm not going to tell you what else you should think, but what I will say is: I'm not afraid of the women here knowing I talk to men. Or trans people for that matter. Even if I was reaching out to vent. At most they might question why I chose a man and not a woman, but ultimately it just wouldn't be an issue. It's not that there are no assholes here--there are quite a few--but most of them are easily ignored and those that aren't typically get pushback for being assholes and eventually end up leaving or ostracized.

Do you think that it's healthy, as a literal trans-identified person yourself, for people in a community to be so afraid of one another that they can't let anyone know if they talk to certain people? Now, I'm sure it's not as simple as just dropping people who act this way. I've known people with shitty friend groups. It's hard. It's hard when all of your peers seem to support certain behaviour. I get it. I am in no way expecting that you're suddenly going to drop your community.

But I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to you, the person who reached out to me. From one survivor of familial sexual assault to another: you don't deserve to be treated this way. You don't deserve to have your pain trivialized, even indirectly, for a cause. So even if you can't talk to any of your peers about it (and maybe you can! maybe there are people you know who feel the exact same way), I want you to know in your heart that this is wrong and you're right to feel that it's wrong.

And when you're ready, whatever that looks like, I hope you can get out of this and find a community where you would never be punished for raising concerns about something like this. You would be upheld and loudly supported because that shit just wouldn't fly.

Take care of yourself, anon. I hope you have a good day/evening. I hope your uncle rots and I hope the transwoman you're following becomes a better person. Or falls down a well. Whichever comes first.

[tjmystic]

Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I support trans, nonbinary, and otherwise queer people. I support and want to validate the ways that they choose to present themselves and the things they need to make themselves feel like humans instead of weird dolls that someone slapped a gender onto arbitrarily. This is not a TERF post, I'm not interested in anything TERFs have to say.

Now, with that out of the way, I'm going to do a "woe is me, poor little privileged person" thing, and I'm well aware that it's going to sound dumb, but this blog is basically a virtual diary at this point, and, if you followed me, you signed up to sneak into my room with little flashlights and creep through the pages.

It is SO difficult to hold so-called "normal" or mainstream identities when, in large part, you don't want to have a community with any of the people who also hold such identities. And not just because of them. It's also because of people who are deemed transversive or abnormal. I recognize that this is a purely online problem and that most people who don't match the norm have to hide themselves away in fear lest they be attacked, but I'm not really interested in meeting or doing things with anyone in person, so virtual interaction is what I do. And because I reject everything fascist, white supremacist, evangelical, and misogynistic, most of my curated online experience is very queer. Usually, that's great. I'm not queer myself, but I usually feel like I have more in common with queer people than I do with other cis straights.

But not always.

Here's an example. I get that a lot of people hate the gender binary and find it oppressive. I completely agree that arbitrary gender roles are stupid. I also understand that gender isn't completely binary because, otherwise, nonbinary and agender people wouldn't exist. But people lose me when they say they want to abolish gender entirely. I am a woman and I like being a woman and I have always identified as either a girl or a woman. (Discounting one day when I was 4 and tried drawing hair on my chest with my mom's mascara because I COMPLETELY missed the point of Mulan and thought it meant you couldn't do cool stuff if you were or looked like a girl. My mom clarified things for me.) Taking that away from me would be taking away a big part of who I am and how I define myself. I don't even like the idea of anyone ever asking me about my pronouns, because the idea that someone couldn't be able to tell at first glance that I'm a woman makes me feel gross. Not because being anything besides a woman is gross, but because me being seen as anything other than what I am is. I already feel unsexy and ugly and unattractive on a daily basis, being mistaken for anything but a woman would just make that even worse.

On a similar note, I'm a monogamous person. I like the idea that other people have so much love to give that they don't want to be confined to a single romantic pairing. Sometimes. But, most of the time, hearing people openly describe their relationship goals with terms like, "I don't want to limit myself to one person" and, "It's stupid to think that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs" is deeply depressing for me. It plants that seed of reminder that even people I think I have a kinship with would never think I'm enough in a relationship, that they would eventually get bored of me and want more because I just can't do it for them on my own. That is devastating to me.

Final example: I'm Christian. Literally no one needs me to explain why Christians are pretty much always the bad guys. Even I have a tendency to cringe away from or otherwise dismiss anyone who calls themselves Christian or talks about Jesus because I know the behaviors and attitudes associated with my religion. But it's still my religion. And seeing people call all religions cults, say we should do away with religion entirely, or claim that religion is the main source of people wanting to murder each other makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

But it doesn't feel like there's an alternative. I'm not talking to people who want to oppress or even murder trans and other queer people. I'm not participating in anything with people who think that enforced monogamy is a good thing. I don't actually see any kinship between myself and predominantly white nationalists who use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want. But it sometimes feels like the only alternative to that is being stuck in a weird "other" box.

I'm not expecting a reward for doing the bare minimum of rejecting the stupid and cruel parts of society. I'm not comparing my "struggle" or whatever to the genuine fear of assault and death that queer people have to deal with on a daily basis. It would just be nice if there was any kind of community that doesn't want to kill or hurt people but is also cool with liking some of the societal constructs we've been born with.

[andromeda3116]

Points of fact, for anyone who wants to follow me:

1. Trans women are women, trans men are men, and people can decide whatever gender they want to be, or even no gender at all. It literally does not harm me and is none of my business, and frankly I find it weird and creepy to obsess over other people's genitals.

2. All sexualities are valid, and likewise I don't get the obsession over drawing lines and gatekeeping and deciding who "belongs" in what category. It's not my place to decide for someone else how they feel or what they want.

3. I am an adult. I rarely post NSFW content, and even then it's usually more along the lines of crass jokes and stories rather than images, but I'm not going to promise that I never will. If you're a minor, it's up to you to decide what you're willing to see. It's not my job to police your internet experience.

4. All ships and all kinds of fic and art are valid. Yes, even the illegal ones. Yes, even the fucked-up toxic ones. Yes, even the ones that squick me out personally. Unless it's actively trying to harm or convince others to do harm to actual, living people -- i.e. propaganda, rallies to whip up a crowd so they'll storm the capitol over lies -- it isn't wrong and no one has the right to demand that someone stop writing, drawing, or shipping something just because they find it abhorrent.

5. You do have the right to politely request content warnings. If ever I've missed something, please let me know and I will add the warning(s) both to the relevant post and in the future.

[queernobi]

People talk shit about Twitter here and claim Tumblr is so much better, but at least on Twitter I don't see TERF talking points being casually brought up all the time--even in the trans tags--as unquestioned truth despite how obviously bunk they are.

TERFs on Twitter are, in the words of one of my mutuals, "50-year-olds from the UK who can't reset their routers." You hit them with a "whatever, you geriatric loser" and you can usually move on with your life. It's not okay that they're there; doxxing and harassment still absolutely occurs there; the platform itself does less to address transphobia and TERFs than they do banning accounts for saying mean things about them; but unfortunately being trans for as long as I have has shown me that that's impossible to escape from, unless you're in a private group chat or Discord server.

Here, however, TERFs operate like the actual fascists they are. They inoculate themselves in certain communities, and use manipulation tactics, grooming tactics, dogwhistles, and bad faith arguments to get gullible people to believe them. It leads to people uncritically repeating those points not realizing what they are actually saying. It gets so bad that by the time someone points out the TERF implications of what the people being affected are saying, they are more likely to get defensive and upset than actually listen to the warning, at which point it's almost pretty much too late.

It actually took me a while after leaving Tumblr the first time to realize that not every social media platform has such a harrowing feminist scene, where you can't even call yourself a feminist without opening yourself to TERF manipulation or attack. When I say the TERF scene is uniquely bad here on Tumblr (compared to most of the mainstream social media platforms, of course), you need to understand that I am saying that from lived experience.

There are literal tags on here called "terfsafe"--public tags that anyone can access to get *validation* from being TERFs. Not private groups, or private chats, or even associated followers/friends, publicly available, easily accessible tags devoted specifically to promoting and praising TERFs, as if the opposition to them is something that can be "both-sides'd" away.

I cannot begin to make you all understand how deeply disturbing that is. I genuinely don't think you could understand that unless you have used social media where that wasn't the case.

I want to be clear that no social media platform is inherently good, nor is any social media platform worse than others (unless it is specifically designed for despicably awful people, a la Kiwifarms and Gab). But Tumblr in particular has this problem that genuinely does not exist on the other sites I've been on. This site is almost worse than a place like Kiwifarms, because Kiwifarms is understood to be a hateful site, and the people there are framed as unhinged fascists willing to kill marginalized folk, especially trans folk. Here, however, there are multiple spaces that put a positive, even "wholesome" spin on TERFs.

It is disgusting and gross, and I think more people on Tumblr need to really reckon with this.

[pondscummy]

the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are

but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao

like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)

they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???

I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it

[daughter-of-sapph0]

hi this is a super genuine question - ive never quite understood what bi lesbian means, and ive gotten a bunch of different answers when i try to look it up. im of the firm belief that i dont need to understand someone elses label to respect it, but i still was hoping i could know what it means. i thought bi and lesbian were opposites in a way that couldnt mix (like cis and trans, i guess? two things that mean the total opposite), like, how can someone be lesbian (interested only in women and other gender-identifiers that are sapphic and/or inclusive of sapphic interest) as well as bisexual (interested in genders beyond sapphic-identified)? but i know theres a lot i dont know! again, i respect the label whether or not i get it and i dont NEED to get it bc like, not my business what other people define themselves as and power to them! i was just wondering.

lesbian: anyone who isn't attracted to men

bi: anyone who is attracted to multiple genders

bi lesbians can be attracted to a while variety of genders, such as masc leaning lesbians, non binary people, lesboys, boygirls, girlboys, and literally anyone else. and they're still bisexual and a lesbian at the same time.

also, if someone doesn't want to accept that definition and be believes they're always contradictory... so what? what are you gonna do about it. (not you in particular, anon. I'm saying you as in any person reading this)

like, what are you gonna do if someone uses an identity you don't personally like? what do you gain from it other than being mad? are you gonna tell the homophobic assholes? they already hate all of us, whether someone's a bi lesbian or not. it's pointless and pathetic to get upset over it. (and I know that's not what you're doing, anon. I'm just saying this in general, because a lot of other people get really mad for whatever reason)

getting mad at someone for calling themselves a term you don't think is valid is the same energy as getting mad at someone for enjoying a completely normal TV show you don't like. like, sure. you have every right to not like that show, and you certainly don't have to interact with the fans. but going out of your way to yell at them when all they're doing is existing is pathetic.

sorry for the rant. I know you were just being polite and asking a question. hopefully my explanation made sense. there are a lot of really lame boring and fun-hating people who love to shit on bi lesbians, and my advice would be to just avoid them.

tldr: just follow these pieces of advice. 1) treat others the way you want to be treated. 2) sometimes people do things you won't always understand right away, and that's okay. 3) you can do whatever you want forever.

[queenbeaver69]

I would pay money for a bigot to be able to explain their argument against gays trans whatever anybody in a way where I could go hmm yeah I see your point! I see where you’re coming from.

And let me tell you, as an opinion fluid person, that is very easy to do. And yet not one person has EVER successfully demonstrated their opinions against a group of people in such a way to me. I doubt I have any bigot followers but if I do I genuinely want to hear your side. Tell me WHY you’re so against random strangers living their lives the way they enjoy? What harm does it cause you? Physical material harm. Not that “it’s a lie” and you can’t stand to see it. I worked with a flat earther. That’s a big ass fucking lie. Do you think I went and rallied to get that chick fired? No. We were cool. We were coworkers. We were friends. I knew she was crazy and that was that. Nothing more to it.

If you BELIEVE that being gay or trans or purple is wrong, then just simply don’t do it. Don’t go out in public. Remove YOURSELF from society. Why is it anyone else’s responsibility to make you feel comfortable based on your wack ass ideals?

I would literally have respect for someone who said “I don’t like trans. They freak me out, it looks weird, and I don’t like it.” Great! Perfect! You don’t have to! And that’s a valid argument. Probably based on trauma and could be turned around with therapy, but still valid!!!

“It’s a lie that is infiltrating our society and being mainstreamed” is not a valid argument. If it were, we’d be going after the flat earthers and bigfooters and fuckin doomsday preppers, remember those guys? They had a whole ass tv show. Literally we are all living a lie, we just pick and choose which lies to live. Let it go.

For example I believe that crystal rocks can heal our energy and our souls and our bodies. So come buy one of my reiki healing boxes when my shop opens! 😂

I love you! Tall, short, fan, thin, trans, gay, straight as an arrow - whatever you are, I love you so damn much and this world kicks ass with you in it.

Except bigots. GTFO bigots.

[ot3]

I looked over what I could find of your thoughts on asexuality, and I THINK I understand your core argument—it’s hard to say because a lot of the posts I found kind of talked around the ideas, and I can’t exactly search “ace” on an ace attorney fanblog and see success haha

But if I pieced things together correctly, it centers around kind of … using the same narrative as other queer identities to [I couldn’t find a conclusion from your posts, just the premises saying this did the ace identity a disservice as well as grossly undercut the gay/trans narratives they pull from].

I’m not sure there’s room for asexuality in the queer narrative, if that’s the problem. If, because everyone experiences sexual violence and shaming unless they’re a part of a small minority, the oppression/pain narrative doesn’t fit.

Every June, people celebrate pride and the exclusion of ace identities immediately follows, usually because those who are ace haven’t suffered in the ways other queers have. The gate is kept for those who think queerness is defined by oppression first and foremost. The gate will continue to be kept regardless of any argument of suffering, no matter if it’s original or ripped—primarily, I assume, because the argument isn’t that aces haven’t suffered enough, but because people genuinely think they aren’t queer, and they’ve picked the one point ace individuals might have a hard time navigating around (because as you said, all sexual expression or non-expression is punished if it is not part of a small celebrated minority), and if they DO argue that they’ve experienced sexual violence, it’s easy to reject.

I’d like to hear your thoughts, if you can spare them, on whether aces are queer—and what queerness is, in the case that it excludes them.

Because once we get into suffering politics, I feel like we inevitably find ourselves in radfem territory. One queer experience is often going to be drastically different from another. A white lesbian knows not the struggles of a trans black woman, but both of them are queer.

So yes, let’s say the ace community is erroneously using language that is disingenuous to everyone’s experiences. The queer community is demanding pain from them in order to be valid. The pain is not exclusive but nearly universal, but oddly never enough. What changes? Are the aces not queer? Or is queerness as an exclusive pain narrative the core of its identity?

Perhaps I missed something in what I read and you aren’t using pain narratives—the concept of transforming queer narratives for acceptance and therefore discrediting all identities involved read as protective, which raised some flags. What I can see of your argument I don’t even necessarily disagree with.

But if the argument is that everyone suffers sexual violence if they’re not part of the celebrated sexual minority, doesn’t that neuter the whole sexual spectrum? That’s bunching everyone into a massive subgroup of not cishet white male. The aces are saying they experience a different sexual violence from straight cis Carla and gay Jerry. Or, not using a pain lens, the aces are saying they experience a different sexual identity from others. Is that not queerness?

Maybe that’s what you’re asking for. But if we’re excluding sexual violence from the narrative because it’s too general a premise, then that HAS to be excluded from your definition of queer.

i have been so, so, so, so clear, over and over again, that i do not care who wants to use the word queer for themselves. i'm not sure how much clearer i can be on the subject and i don't see a point in trying to explain anything beyond that when no one will even listen to that much. i am not going to have these discussions with tumblr anons anymore, it is a waste of my time. if anyone is really pressed to know my opinions they are free to talk to me by literally any method other than anonymous tumblr asks.

[ajramblesagain]

I feel like I’m finally starting to feel somewhat confident in who I am as a guy. I’m not on T yet but I have an appointment lined up on Thursday to talk about getting on it. But anyway, now that I’m finally confident in who I am, I’ve been running over all the blatantly obvious childhood signs I showed that I just glossed over because I refused to believe that I could be trans. For context, I was raised fairly religious and attended a private christian school through eighth grade. So, religious trauma. Yay. Anyway, without further tangents, let’s dive in because honestly it’s hilarious how transparent my closet was in hindsight.

This is going to be in no particular order because order doesn’t matter and I have adhd and keeping my thoughts in a cohesive order is hard at the best of times and I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately. Let’s begin.

First of all, I came out as trans but putting my new pronouns in my Twitter bio (my whopping total of 8 followers, I know). I honestly didn’t think anyone paid that much attention to my bio so I was actually pleasantly surprised that people seemed to pick up on it relatively quickly. One of those twitter followers, I’m gonna call them T on here, needed help running this night market thing that they organized through our college (former college I guess since neither of us are students there anymore) for our organization as a fundraiser. Anyway, T was one of the people who paid attention to the pronoun bio change and actually corrected themself and referred to me me he while I was helping during the night market thing. That alone was enough to make my entire night though obviously I wasn’t going to say anything because I’m not sure if they knew I was even within earshot or not, and I don’t talk to even my closest friends about my emotions, and me and T aren’t that close to begin with.

One of the people helping us table for the night market but for a different table just across from us, ( idk why i’m talking about the location of the tables, like it matters lol) Anywat, I’m gonna call her RM.Actually I don’t remember if it was T or RM who brought up this quiz, but anyway one of them brought up this online quiz that tells you what your dick size would be if you were born a dude. It was actually based on scientific shit so I think it’s supposed to be fairly accurate. Which sucks because I took it and I got 5 inches and I would’ve gotten 6 if I had just eaten more white fish growing up. You can’t blame me though. That shit is fucking nasty. Anyway, me and my friend, A, who was also tabling with me were like, we gotta take this test right now. And again, my memory is absolutely dogshit so I don’t remember who said this, but someone kinda jokingly said that A and I were way too excited to take the quiz, which honestly felt really validating for some reason.

Anyway, I wasn’t happy with my measely 5 inch result, especially since A got more than me and I wasn’t gonna accept that as an answer. So I was like, fine then, I’m gonna take a quiz that bases it off of the vibes I give off but I kept getting lower and lower results until I gave up because that shit was pathetic and it was lowkey getting embarrassing. Anyway, A told me that I was acting like an insecure straight man, which was a super gender affirming insult by the way, so of course I didn’t stop thinking about that for a few hours. Not even exaggerating, that’s literally how my brain works. But I exaggerated my offense at being called straight. I was like, I may be insecure but I most certainly am not straight.

That wasn’t even the highlight of the gender euphoria I felt that night. For context, I was keeping a spreadsheet of all the sales we made during the night market thing, so T messaged me later that night and asked me for the spreadsheet and so I sent it and their response was just two simple words that I’m sure they didn’t even really think about but it just lives in my mind rent free now as a constant source of gender euphoria: thanks king. I kid you not, I was fucking smiling like an idiot at my phone and would not stop thinking about being called ‘king’ for the next couple of days. King is never used as a gender neutral phrase like ‘dude’ or ‘man’ is often used as, so it just felt like T really read me as a guy, which was just a really good feeling.

Honestly this is getting kinda long and I’m getting tired so I think I’m actually gonna dive into my actual childhood signs tomorrow. If you decide to follow, just be prepared that my context is always gonna be this tangent-ridden, impulsive, unscripted stream of consciousness type shit, so be warned. I know this style of content bugs some people lol so no hard feelings. I’m just mostly doing this for me because I like to sound off into the void.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update

hey gamers, happy Pride Month Eve. I don't have any more time to make small talk, I've read so many fucking books since the last time we did this and I need to get started immediately.

what the fuck have I been reading?

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, 2022) - I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I am... obsessed with Janelle Monáe. Dirty Computer, the album, changed me as a person. I have a bisexual pride flag hanging in my room that I can never wash because she touched it one time. my living room contains more than one decorative cushion with their face on it. a couple of years ago I almost willingly went broke to bid on a pair of the vulva pants from the Pynk music video when Mx. Monáe raffled them off. I love Janelle Monáe in a way that I rarely let myself love artists, and going into this book I really only had one fear: what if Janelle Monáe's book is bad? well, fear not: the book is pretty good, probably because Janelle Monáe was smart enough to hire actual experienced science fiction writers to collaborate and help her build out her world from song and screen to literature. the result is stories that are still sitting heavy in my mind even though it's been approximately a very busy calendar month since I read them, with new meanings crystalizing and arriving all the time. I will freely admit that the collection feel a little uneven in places, but then I'll immediately follow that up by talking about how hard it rips that there's a story about [spoilers] an idyllic little queer refuge from the evil authoritarian government being betrayed by a cis woman because she doesn't trust the AFAB nonbinary member of the crew, and decided that selling out the whole commune to a violent attack would somehow make all the "real" women safer than just letting someone use they/them pronouns in peace. Janelle had some things to say, y'all.

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992) - this is going to seem so short after all the rambling I just did for Janelle Monáe but it feels right. literally all I have to say is that I wish all poetry read like this. devoured in one sitting, delighted in every single page of it. Anne Carson, you deserve the hype.

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - I was lucky enough to get to watch Ahmed give a virtual lecture about this book before reading it, and as always her principled feminist rage was a delight to behold. Complaint! details research conducted by Ahmed after leaving her university position due to mishandling of student complaints, talking to other people about their experiences making institutional complaints - about professors, about bosses, about students, about policies that furthered deeply entrenched biases and hierarchies. her results were often disheartening, but Ahmed never gives in to despair. her work affirms injustice's existence but also the validity of raging against it; as someone working in a university setting and frequently unhappy with it, I felt more reinvigorated reading Complaint! than I have in a long time.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. by Geoffrey Trousselot, 2020) - I was really looking forward to this book, which sounded like exactly the sort of cozy, low-stakes fantasy slice of life shit I love. there's a café in Japan where people can have conversations with people from their pasts, but they only have as long is takes for their coffee to cool down - isn't that fun? I was prepared to really love it, and also cry a lot. in the end, I didn't love Before the Coffee Gets Cold as much as I hoped I would - maybe because it was adapted into a novel from a play, and the transition doesn't feel especially smooth? as I've already said on this blog, I would really like an opportunity to see this performed as a stage show if anyone ever does it in English - especially the ghost woman who lives in the café, I want to see that.

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022) - oh man you guys, this one was a DOOZY. a friend alerted me to this book's existence months before it was published, and the premise sounded intriguing enough: Emba posits that the simple model of "yes means yes, no means no" isn't a sufficient sexual ethic, and fails to provide a reliable framework for treating sexual partners respectfully beyond obtaining basic consent - and she's right about that! I do agree with Emba on that particular statement; I think current understandings of consent are a very rudimentary baseline and frequently fail to account for the many nuances of human interactions. that is pretty much where Emba and I stop agreeing on almost anything. this book takes some stunningly regressive stances on sexuality in the name of equity, gang. Emba insists that some sexual desires are inherently worse than others, although she conspicuously fails to elucidate on what these might be while suggesting that porn is to blame for normalizing such "risky" kinks as anal sex and polyamory, which hilariously (and sadly) seems to suggest that she isn't clear on the difference between polaymory and group sex. she states in her intro that the book is absolutely meant to be inclusive of gay and trans readers, then goes on to spend a chapter talking about how silly it is to pretend men and women are the same when their innate biological frailty and predisposition to pregnancy makes women inherently more imperiled by sex. she insists that it's unlikely anyone actually enjoys "casual sex," providing choice quotes from interviews that support this stance, and upon encountering a woman who maintains that she did enjoy a shallow sexual relationship pivots to question why a person would even want such a thing in the first place. this book is a hot ass mess, y'all, and while I did take a certain perverse pleasure in sending the yikes-iest segments to a friend to scream in mutual horror, I cannot say I'd actually recommend it.

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021) - hey, one of the Welcome to Night Vale guys wrote a middle readers book and it's really cute. The Halloween Moon has the same unhinged energy as Disney Channel Halloween movies from the nineties and early 2000s - you know, the ones where everything going on was really silly but also holy shit someone might kill that 11 year old for realsies? think Hocus Pocus, that's the right vibe. yeah that was my SHIT as a kid, and remains my shit as a weird adult. if you know a weird kid, I'd strongly recommend passing this along to them.

Batman: The Long Halloween (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996) - I didn't mean to read two back-to-back Halloween-ish books in May, it just happened. life is weird that way. anyway yes I DID read this because it was specifically cited as a heavy inspiration for The Batman (2022), no I regret nothing. I've been avoiding Big Two comics for years, but like... fuck. I missed this. this is so fun and dumb. every other page is Batman emotionally taking a deep drag on a cigarette and monologuing about how rancid Gotham City is followed by someone getting murdered on Saint Patrick's Day and having a leprechaun statuette left on their corpse. it's ridiculous it's noir out the ass I loved every second of it. it's perfectly self-contained and I cannot recommend it enough if you don't mind grisly murder. consider yourselves warned that I'm getting back into comics in a big way.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - you guys might recall Hench as the winner of my second-ever reading poll, beating out three other books on my TBR. and you know what? you guys were fucking right. Hench is the story of Anna, a temp who does data entry for supervillains - it's a living, you know? until she gets horrifically injured in a fight between her latest boss and a guy who's, uuuh, he's definitely not Superman. don't worry about it. Anna develops a metric to calculate how much property damage and loss of human life superheroes are actually causing - and a huge, HUGE grudge. she finds a new, cooler evil boss and gets to work ruining superheroes' lives, and oh MAN is she good at her job. I don't often pine for sequels, but if one happened to come along for this book I would NOT be disappointed. frankly Anna's boss Leviathan is the monster boyfriend that dreams are made of and I think she deserves a second book purely to try to kiss him on the mandibles. let a bitch live vicariously.

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022) - one thing about Ocean Vuong is that he's going to reliably fuck me right the fuck up, emotionally, and there was approximately a 0% chance that a poetry collection meditating on the death of his mother wasn't going to be ruinous. what can I say, I was raised by a single mother who currently lives very far away and has complicated health problems that seem to get worse with each passing year! some things are going to set me off! I returned this book to the library before writing down the names of specific poems that got to me, like an idiot, but there's one that's very simple in its devastation: a collection of things Vuong's mother ordered from Amazon, detailed month by month, showing a woman's attempts to continue living a normal life even as her health worsens to the point of preparing for her own funeral. I love a poem that's just a list of shit given meaning, and it took me right out.

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946) - "oh like the Guillermo Del Toro movie" yeah exactly like the Guillermo Del Toro movie, this is the book it was based on. this probably won't shock you if you've seen the movie, but oh my god this is fucked. like, significantly more than the movie, Mr. Del Toro was really sparing our delicate feelings with his adaptation. if you watched Nightmare Alley and said "I just don't think Stan was enough of a fucking freak bastard," oh boy do I have good news for you. also if you watched Nightmare Alley and thought "this is interesting but I wish we devoted a lot more time to Stan developing his career as a phony spiritualist and we got to see him spend several years running a full fucking church while claiming to commune with the dead" hey, we've got that too! Stan spends most of this book running around doing terrible things while Yakkety Sax plays behind him, all the while running an internal monologue about power and manipulation that's truly vile. if you like a book about a wretched guy having just a terrible time (one of my favorite genres, btw) you're gonna love this.

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021) - I'll freely admit that I was very hesitant going into this one. Jessamyn Stanley is a very cool yoga instructor who I first learned about in a way that was pretty much "check out this fat Black queer yoga icon!," and I've sort of passively admired her ever since. I was worried that reading her personal essays would be a bit of a case of "don't meet your heroes" - what if she has some stupid ass phony influencer opinions that leaves a sour taste in my mouth about her whole deal? SHOULD NOT HAVE WORRIED. first off, this bitch is a good personal essay writer and funny as hell. secondly, she devotes a good chunk of time to dissecting the burden of being The fat Black yoga icon, the difficulty in unlearning to urge to seek approval from white audiences, and how the necessity of viewership inherently taints and complicated her relationship too her craft. she also has some very real and gorgeous thoughts about the American yoga industry's problem with cultural appropriation, and where she fits into that as a Black instructor teaching a Indian practice. she's inspired me to take another crack at meditation (not easy!!) and has some thoughts on posture and breathing that have really shaken up my whole relationship with yoga for the better.

Cultish: The Language of Fanatacism (Amanda Montell, 2021) - definitely one of my favorite nonfic books I've read this year that isn't an essay collection/memoir. Montell (the daughter of a man raised in the Synanon cult, it bears mentioning) takes an engaging look at the way cults use appealing, exclusive language to bind people and ensnare them, making it difficult to leave. the approach to cults is sharply critical, but Montell looks at cult members with an empathetic eye, reminding readers many times that there's nothing to back up the idea that those who fall into cults are less intelligent or more ignorant than the general population. instead, she examines the ways in which charismatic leaders cleverly use words to present an image of something desirable - and then make it difficult to back out. to me the most interesting part of the book is way Montell draws comparisons between real, well-known cults to groups such as CrossFit, multilevel marketing schemes, and the followers of "wellness" influencers on Instagram. Montell makes clear that she's not accusing, say, Tupperware salespeople of being exactly as harmful as Jim Jones, but that she thinks there are similarities worth examining - and she's right! a smart, easy read; strongly recommend for anyone seeking something curious and fun.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a book about a relationship, which Sonsiridej herself calls a coming of age story and one of my favorite writers Carmen Maria Machado calls a "horny love letter to bottoming." it is indeed both of those things, and it's very good at both of them! the novel follows a 30 year old writer in her pursuit of a 51 year old choreographer, and the struggle to make sense of their power dynamics once she gets him. what does it mean that he's so much older? that he's divorced from a rich wife and has resources she can't imagine? should she be flattered or affronted that he wants to help her advance her career? does dating an older cishet man mean she's turning her back on her queerness, as her roommate keeps insinuating? what does it mean that he feels uneducated compared to her and her literary friends? and what is our protagonist supposed to do about the fact that she's just discovered she's one hell of a sub? isn't it problematic to want an older man to hurt her? maybe so, but she's enjoying the hell out of it. this is a coming of age story like I've never seen before, but I hope to find a lot more like it because it was simply exquisite.

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022) - the premise is simple: five Chinese-American college students get hired to heist stolen art out of five Western museums and return it to China. the reward? 10 million dollars each. the stakes? oh my god, astronomical. all of their lives could be absolutely ruined - and it's not a spoiler to say that absolutely nothing goes how they expect it to. a fun and fast-paced book, one that I would definitely recommend for, say, a day of reading on the beach or on an airplane.

[ftmcutiepie]

i dont think i have the guts to make a blog for this, I've been lurking for days though, your blog a frequent popup

In kink answer (assuming you're a fakeboy like me):

"Lurking" sounds so innocent. As if every single post you read didn't make you dripping wet. Did you touch yourself to my posts? Listen to your girly pussy, she knows what's good for you. Make that blog. We can be slutty girls together! And you're gonna get so much male attention. Quit lying to yourself. That's what you really want, isn't it? <3

Out of kink answer:

I understand that this kink (space) can me scary/intimidating, but there's literally nothing wrong with making a blog and then still just lurking. Making a blog isn't a commitment, you don't even need to use it, and you can always delete it again.

You can make a blog and just reblog posts.

You can make a blog and just make your own posts without tagging them, so it's unlikely anyone will ever see them.

You can put "cis people DNI" into your bio if that's what's holding you back. You can close your DMs for anyone who you don't follow (which is what I do). In any case, you're not obligated to interact with anyone.

Your blog is your space for your kinks and for your pleasure. I (along with many Subs into this kink and Subs on Tumblr in general) talk a big game about being obedient sex slaves for (real) men but it's all just pretend. I only do what I am comfortable with. My obedience doesn't go beyond my limits or comfort zone.

There's nothing wrong with trying this kink out and deciding it's not for you.

There's nothing wrong with trying this kink out and realizing it is for you. You're still a real and valid trans person. We just like to have fun with gender (roles) here.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with trying this kink out and realizing new things about your gender identity either.

Just a tip: Ask yourself what your limits are before you jump into this kink, and don't let yourself be pressured into things you don't actually want just because people seem to "expect" them of you. Take care and stay safe!

My ask box is always open if you (or anyone else considering making a blog for this) want to talk more about it. We could also DM, but you'd need to send me an off-anon ask first so I can follow/DM you.

[localmonstersmoocher]

A Short Little Review of "Straight" by Chuck Tingle

[this was cross posted from my Goodreads account]

In certain realms of online culture, Chuck Tingle is a bit of an icon, and this book certainly shows that. For an author who is known for outrageous and funky queer erotica, this novella is a tonal whiplash compared to the rest of Tingle's works that I read and I adored every word.

Taking place in a world where, once a year, the cis straight population goes berserk, wanting nothing more than to tear apart everyone and anyone who falls in the queer spectrum, during an event called Saturation day. The book follows a group of friends from all across the LGBT spectrum, who flee to Joshua Tree to wait out the Saturation Day. But, in true horror novel fashion, things go very wrong very quickly and now this group has to fight for their lives against shitass berserk zombielike cis straight people.

As a member of the queer community, reading this horror novella out of all things was incredibly cathartic. I could feel the frustrations and even the rage of the main character and narrator, Issac, a bisexual man just trying to survive in a world that wants to literally tear him apart. As someone who is bisexual myself and often questions my place in the queer community, I saw myself in Issac, as someone who just wants to stop hiding, to feel validated and accepted by a community he loves, and to be unapologetically himself, bisexuality and all. Hell, I even teared up a bit at the end when Tingle wrote, "I now know our survival is not predicted on the conditional help of fair-weathered allies, or even the rock-solid kindness of outsiders who put in the work. We've made it this far because of each other". Who knew that it would be a little horror novella that would make me emotional.

Also not to mention I adored all the characters and fell in love with all of them within the span of a few pages. That is when you know that there is some pretty good writing afoot. I loved Jason, Issac, Hazel, and Nora were a treat to follow and I rooted for them the entire ride. It was fun to see these four people, all with different backgrounds, sexualities, and experiences coming together as one to help each other, lift each other up, and make sure everyone gets out alive. I didn't care much for Brandon though, he was, as Nora put it, a "Typical straight ally".

Maybe I'm taking this book too seriously due to my personal experiences and background, but I still believe that this novella is worth the read. It doesn't matter if you're straight and cis or tans and gay, it's a good story, a fun story, and it's only 122 pages so its a fairly quick read. No skin off your back. And yes, while there are some grammatical errors in this book, it's not so distracting as to take you out of the experience. Honestly, with the amount of indie-published books I've read in the past, a few grammar mistakes here or there is kind of unavoidable in certain cases. Hell, I'm no grammar expert myself, so I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few more I didn't pick up on while being sucked into the story.

Remember, stay unapologetically yourself buckaroos! <3

(next on my list is Trans Wizard Harriet Porber bc fuck J.K. Rowling's terf ass)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Trans followers, if you’re up for it, I’d like your input (you can message me privately or even anonymously if you wish).

So obviously I’m very cool and sexy and big brained and that’s why I write werewolf erotica, anyway I realised this morning that I haven’t tried writing a trans werewolf character. Or, more accurately and importantly: each book contains one new romance (plus an ongoing established one in the background that began in the first book). The new one each time is designed to explore a different dynamic - sometimes to challenge the existing relationship standards in this fucking genre (because my god these people think really-quite-horrific abuse is sexy), but sometimes to explore just, you know, another type of love, like a poly or ace relationship or what have you. And I realised that I have not yet done this with a trans werewolf.

This opens up two very big questions though, which I have just spent a really fun half hour talking over with a trans friend of mine, but I don’t want her to have to speak for all trans people on the subject. So I’m asking for input here.

I recognise that some people of course won’t agree on these - what’s invalidating for one is validating for another, and all that. But I do want to make sure that, whichever way I end up going with this, it’s based on the input and opinions of trans folks who approved and not solely what my well-intentioned but naive cis ass thought sounded nice. So! Questions under the cut, because I value your dashboards.

Okay, so question one: The Mate Bond.

These are a soulmate trope, and part of that is that a werewolf’s mate is always the most attractive person they’ve ever seen, right. So, how does that work if you are meeting your mate pre-transition?

Now, my current plan, after discussion this morning, is to say the attraction is there both before and after the transition. BUT, before it, it’s like... “You’re super hot but it feels like something is slightly missing in some way.” And then after transition it’s “Holy shit yeah there you are.” Attractive both sides, but post-transition, they’re actually themselves, you know? It feels right, not just to the trans person but also their mate. (Plus they’re happier, which is usually very attractive in its own right.)

However, my friend is grey-romantic, so she said of this question in particular I should probably check with others.

Moving on to question two: The Transition.

Okay, right, so, this is very literally a transformative species. They can turn into bloody wolves and back. 

That means reforming their entire bodies, growing and losing whole appendages (tails), rearranging organs, changing hormones. It means they physically lose and regrow their secondary sex characteristics all the time, since body hair is constantly in flux, fat deposits move, breasts are lost and regrown; it also means their entire genital structures are changed (as anyone who reads A/B/O can attest). Like, the basis for physical change is very much there.

On top of that, this is a species with a bit of a weak psychic field. They always look hot - I’ve already explained that as, given that they’re a supernatural race, they evolve over time to fit the beauty norms of the day to give them a predatory edge, that sort of thing. Plus... for example, if a woman with long hair shifts, she gets it back once she shifts human again, right? She doesn’t shift back to a pixie cut. Her morphic field knows, somehow, what she should look like in human shape, and I figure that’s based on her subconscious to a degree, at least. So physical adaptation to an ideal is also there, as a base. 

And finally, werewolves are born as wolf pups, shift into human toddlers after a couple of days, and then stay human until “First Shift” at eighteen. When they get this shift, they get their wolf and can now transform at will; they also get their Gift (one (1) small superpower, as a treat); and they can now form a mate bond, and so will recognise their mate. Full fledging into adulthood, basically.

So, if we are literally only looking at the existing lore that I have already established... I can’t see any narrative reason why a trans werewolf, on reaching eighteen and gaining their wolf, wouldn’t naturally and automatically transition over the course of their first-however-many shifts. From a sci-fi/fantasy perspective, that fits perfectly into the world building that’s there.

However, werewolves do not actually exist and this world is fictional and will be whatever I tell it to be, whereas actual trans humans who might read this are real. So: does this sound okay? 

My friend’s response to this one was “IDK that seems fine to me. Actually that sounds really nice.” But I’d like to run that by a few more people because I am cis and outside my wheelhouse.

(And if it sounds good, how many shifts should that take? Instant, just one and done, to reflect that this is who you were inside all along? Or gradual, over twenty or more, so they have an actual transition period that a reader gets to see? Or somewhere in between?)

Anyway thank you all! Feel no obligation to respond if you don’t want to. As I say, the likelihood is that I won’t get 100% agreement because YMMV (what I want out of a feminist novel is often different from what friends of mine want to see for example; it happens), but whichever path I end up going down is going to be feedback-based. 

I should probably also mention that, so far, there has been zero homophobia in any of these. So, my very strong instinct is to not include any intentional transphobia. It would be a love story that features a character who happens to be trans, not a love story about being trans. Apologies if that’s not your jam, but I would certainly want to defer to those with first hand experience writing those stories. These are just very silly books about werewolves.

[nothorses]

Damn you really can just say whatever the fuck you want on the internet, huh?

But sure, let's play!

1. "He has repeatedly invalidated my gender identity"

Nope! I have explicitly stated that I think her gender identity is completely valid.

What I have taken issue with is the way she phrased it at one point:

"tme trans woman", while technically correct (she is trans and a woman) is a misleading phrasing for the identity of an AFAB woman who is genderqueer. She has agreed that this was not appropriate.

This one's a blatant lie, for whoever's keeping track.

2. "Claimed I was breaking his boundaries when I asked him to stop"

That's because she did break my very, very explicitly-stated boundaries!

I blocked her ~6 months ago when she joined the smear campaign, and she made an alt account to contact me on (already a breach of boundaries, as a block is a fairly explicit way to state that you would like someone not to contact you).

I told her repeatedly on that alt account not to contact me again (after entertaining a lengthy conversation beforehand), and she refused, in that conversation, to respect my boundaries. She was already planning on not respecting my boundaries.

I told her I would block her if she made another alt and attempted to contact me again, which she did:

Now she's complaining that I blocked her when she attempted to contact me again, even though I asked her not to contact me again, and told her that would be my response if she did. 🤷‍♂️

I also, again, was not making fun of her gender identity. I was criticizing the misleading phrasing she chose, which she also agrees was not appropriate.

She has repeatedly made this claim; I'd love to see some direct quotes and explanations of how she thinks they're examples of me making fun of her gender identity, because genuinely, I cannot fathom why she thinks that.

3. "Said I had 22 sideblogs when asked to show proof of 6 months of harassment"

This is the post she's referring to.

I did provide proof; she co-spearheaded a smear campaign against me about 6 months ago, and has been reblogging and otherwise boosting her original post about it very regularly since then. When I made a post pointing out the existence of the smear campaign and asking folks to look into anonymous claims themselves, she began outright harassing me.

I've got an image limit to worry about here, so I ask that you follow that link for the context and evidence (and please do; I really encourage folks to take their time investigating this stuff before spreading it around).

Anyway, here's me "saying she has 22 sideblogs":

Oh whoops, another lie! I didn't even suggest the idea, but when it was suggested, I said "I really did not know, but wouldn't be surprised". I don't know how this qualifies as a "claim" or an "accusation" in literally any stretch of the word, but here we are.

(and for reference, the original question was because of her alt naming scheme: "2woc" to "woc22" is very easily interpreted as just numbering them up 2 to 22. I don't know how anyone is supposed to know how many sideblogs/alts this person has but her to begin with.)

4. "Indirectly caused his followers to invalidate my identity"

All I have to say to this is:

No, but honestly, I cannot take responsibility for what my followers do and say. I can take responsibility for my own part in it, though: I tried to be as clear as possible that I was not advocating for any kind of questioning of anyone's identity, and was only criticizing the phrasing. But I apparently wasn't clear enough, and to that end, I did clarify and apologize for my part in that:

So I mean, either she wants accountability, in which case I have taken it to the extent that I am capable- or she just wants to accuse me of shit, in which case... well.

5. "... As well as call me cis"

Here we are again.

I called her cis once when I honestly though she identified as cis, because in searching for her identity in order to talk about it, I found recent posts in which she called herself "cis". I believed that was how she identified, especially because I could not find posts in which she said she identified as trans, or did not identify as cis.

When it was brought to my attention that she is not cis, I immediately corrected myself and the post, and publicly took accountability for the mistake. This is the only time I have called her cis.

TL;DR:

Every single claim here is either a blatant lie, or a stretch of the truth so far that it doesn't matter. Her actions do not align with someone seeking growth or change, and I urge you to question her motives and what, exactly, she wants from any of this.

What I want is for her to stop talking about me, period, because each time she does she brings a flood of harassment to my inbox and notes. I doubt she will, though; so I would like people to also just be critical of the things they hear about others, especially from anonymous sources.

Please seek hard evidence and investigate claims like this yourself. Please be critical and think for yourself. I am not asking you to take me at my word here, either; I actively encourage you to read up on this before throwing your weight behind any kind of claim about someone else.