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#to be fair to him his tyres were a mess at that point
utvarpcity · 2 years
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couldn’t watch it live bc i was away so i just finished watching the race and i have to say esteban’s defending against lewis was delicious 😌
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bad268 · 7 months
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Out-of-Pocket (Pepe Marti X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3
Requested: Yeah on Wattpad (ily zep also happy race week!)
Warnings: none.
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 869
Summary: Out-of-pocket grid walks and podcasts
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
The first race of the season was one for the books. The energy was high, the excitement was through the roof, and all of the drivers were ready to get back to racing. As someone with a moto racing podcast, you were having a blast in the paddock. The plan was you were going to do a Martin Brundle-style grid walk, asking random questions to whatever drivers you could find.
“Jak!” You shouted, running up to your American friend who was walking with Ollie and Kimi. “Can I ask you guys questions for the pod?”
“Don’t say tyre deg,” Jak joked as the other two nodded.
“That's a tequila shot, Jak,” You laughed. “Anyway, I don’t have any on me so, Jak, hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you found a dead body in your hotel room?”
“That’s so random, but I would call my team, I guess?” Jak responded, confused about where the question came from.
“Good to hear you trust your team, sounds like you guys will have a good year,” You stated. “Does this mean you are getting along well with your new team?”
“Yeah, I love the team, and I think we’re gonna do well this year,” Jak beamed. 
“Thank you, Jak. Now, Ollie,” You moved the microphone over to Ollie, “You hit me as the type of guy who needs beauty sleep.”
“Where is this going?” He laughed.
“Why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ if you wake up looking like a hot mess? I’ve seen the LAP videos, and you don’t look very beautiful when you wake up,” You teased him.
“Oh you’re one to talk,” He gasped in disbelief, “As if anyone in your opinion looks good waking up unless they’re Pepe!”
“Hey, no need to call me out in my own podcast here!” You jokingly scolded. “I ask the questions. Now, why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ if you wake up looking like a hot mess? I need to know.”
“Maybe it’s not about physical beauty and more about mental beauty,” Ollie quipped. “Ever think of that?”
“No, I did not Aristotle,” You replied sarcastically. “Thank you for bestowing your great mind upon us, oh great one.”
“With pleasure,” Ollie jokingly bowed as he left to follow Jak.
“Kimi! The new man on the block! Tell me, how many pennies do you think would fit in your car?”
“At least five,” Kimi answered immediately and seriously.
“Fair point, thank you,” You replied just as seriously as you moved on to your next target, running after him. “Dennis, do fish drown?”
“NO!” He shouted, started by your sudden appearance. “No, I looked this up and drowning is inhaling water. Fish breathe water, so unless they stop moving and water blocks their gills, they can't drown, but they can suffocate on water.”
“Damn, thanks Bill Nye the science guy,” You said sarcastically as you moved on, beelining for one of your favorite F3 drivers to ask questions to. “Sebastian Montoya, I have a question for you.”
“I love these,” he said to himself before leaning into the microphone and shouting, “Hi Pod!”
“Don’t! I’m the star here,” You joked. “Anyway, if you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you weak or strong?”
“Neither, you’re gullible,” He answered.
“Oh, that's a dollar word, look at you go!” You chuckled as you moved on once again. This time you ran into a world champion. “Fernando! My favorite Spanish driver!” You shouted as you ran over to him but not before whispering into the mike, “Lies, Pepe is my favorite.”
“We all know Pepe is you’re favorite, no need to flatter me,” He laughed.
“Well, at least we’re all on the same page,” You dismissed. “In your opinion, what is the worst mode of transportation?”
“Roller skates,” He said after a moment. “The ones with the wheels in a line.”
“What do you have against roller blades, Nando?” You chuckled, genuinely curious.
“I just never learned how to ride them,” He laughed.
“Fair enough, thank you!” You said as you heard back to the Campos garage, knowing Pepe was probably finished with his interview by now. You saw him sitting on the couch in the driver’s room that he shares with Isack, scrolling through his phone. “And here we find the friend of the show, Pepe, in his natural habitat; hiding from everyone.”
“You do know I can hear you,” He chuckled, not even looking up from his phone.
“Oh shit, I thought he was deaf,” You whispered into the microphone, but still loud enough for him to hear. You moved into the room and sat beside him, leaning into his side. “I have a real question for you.”
“Something tells me it’s not a real question, but go on.”
“How does it feel to be in a relationship with the most out-of-pocket moto racing podcaster on the planet?”
“Wouldn’t change it for the world,” He replied as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head. “You should talk to Clement to get on Screaming Meals. I bet that would be the most chaotic episode ever.”
“Don’t give me any more ideas,” You groaned. “Also, I’m trying. James said no.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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Funniest thing is Oscar would have had a big enough gap for the team to pit Lando first to "cover Hamilton" and still come out ahead had he not gone into the gravel before pitting .... and then immediately ruined his fresh tyres going into the gravel after pitting.
That race was 71 laps. Not 48. If he didn't have the pace in the last stint, he didn't earn the win. A race isn't won in the first corner, it's won when you cross the line.
Regardless, between the strategy and McLaren already having OP1 merch on hand (which they didn't have for the driver who's been with them in a reserve or active driver role since 2018 ... nobody else finds that suspicious?), they knew who they were gifting that win to before that race even started. And if that happens again and Lando is serious about competing for a championship someday, he's going to have to start looking for a new team where the favoritism isn't so blatant.
I agree. That is exactly the point. You don’t win a race in the first corner. It is ridiculous for a team to expect their faster driver to stay behind their teammate the entire race, and using strategy to do it is just crooked.
They never pitted Lando to undercut, they made that very clear on his radio, they planned to keep him behind to cover Lewis(so absolutely ridiculous), so Piastri could stay ahead. It was McLaren and Piastri that messed that up. McLaren by even having the audacity to try to keep Lando behind for most of the race and Piastri for making mistakes. Lando made a choice to stick it to them because of what they were doing to his race. He is giving them everything and they continue to blunder his efforts with shitty strategy and yesterday they just straight up stole a race from him.
They put him on the back burner with absolutely no logical reason to do so. He needs the points they just made him give to his teammate. It really does stink. They sent him a message yesterday by prioritizing Piastri even though he was better all weekend, including during the race, and he answered back during the race.
They need to actually get their shit together and support Lando. He is their better driver. The one who is bringing the fight to Max, despite his team screwing up his strategy every race. They need to prioritize Lando, especially when he out qualifies Piastri and gets pole position to boot. I’m not saying they need to sacrifice Piastri season, that would be unfair and unethical, but they can not win a championship if they put him before Lando during races where Lando is faster and can beat Piastri by battling. I think racing should be fair. What they did on Sunday to Lando was unethical and so far from fair. It was the opposite. They have no reason to put Piastri’s race in front of Lando’s, especially when he is faster and deserves to fight for his position and not be held back.
Speculation here, but I feel this was one of those turning points for Lando. I feel he will never see them the same. I hope he stands up for himself against what they did. They have a lot to talk about in regards to how they are gonna go forward the rest of the season.
So yeah I agree, thanks for the message☺️.
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dizzyduck44 · 1 year
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How 24 hours can change a lot in F1
Right let’s get into this mess, though talk about an ever developing story.
Red Bull managed to send warning shots off to a quarter of the grid in the space of about 6 hours, yet to understand the full effect you can’t even go chronologically.
Nyck
Following Daniel Ricciardo’s tyre test at Silverstone on Tuesday it is now reported that having seen the timings (we’ll come back to that) Christian rang Helmut Marko halfway through who in turn immediately fired Nyck De Vries (via his manager) and gave his spot to Daniel.
Nyck has had a nightmare time this season. The car is awful, the support has been non-existent and 10 races is nothing. We can’t say it’s unexpected, the Red Bull family have shown multiple people the door mid season, lest us not forget Max Verstappen was a mid season replacement at Red Bull. It became that common that it manifested itself in Lando’s head in his first year at McLaren that if he didn’t perform he could be gone mid season.
Nyck’s lack of results, pace and collection of penalties (Kevin isn’t going to miss you) has been confounded by the fact his two fellow rookies are swimming. Logan has shown genuine improvement and James Vowles was very vocal this weekend about how Logan is doing exactly what is expected of him. Meanwhile over at McLaren, well even if you take out this last weekend’s impressive results, Oscar had points, made Q3 a few times and had a CEO, a team principal and teammate who wouldn’t shut up about how well he was doing. The contrast couldn’t be bigger.
Nyck hasn’t really been given a fair shot in any aspect. Time on the grid, getting to know the team, support from his team. Then again remember we were told he turned up and told the engineers everything wrong with the car? Maybe his card has been marked for a while.
What I will say is that Nyck may be the first driver Red Bull has offed and told everyone that they didn’t really want him in the first place! I mean I’m sure Alex Albon might have felt it in 2019 when they had aggressively gone after Lando, to then hire Alex at the last minute. However I’m sure his promotion to the big team to replace Pierre killed off his fears. Nyck didn’t get that redemption arc.
Nyck has now said that his understanding was that he would be in the Red Bull alongside Max next year. Which leads us onto
Daniel
I have been critical of Daniel for the last 18 months, with good reason as a McLaren fan. The passion in the car was gone, he had worked himself up to a point where even if he could get the best out of the McLaren, he had told himself he couldn’t. He was a man very much in need of a break.
I’d say it took maybe 4 races before he wanted back. The hunger was back, he realised these were his people. He had positioned himself In such a way that there was a clear road back for him, but at the same time if being away from it was right then he could move away slowly.
I’ve no issue with him having a second shot. I think anyone who had seen him through his career felt that McLaren would have been a sad way for him to sign off. That being said, he has just tested the best car on the grid. However he will be racing for Alpha Tauri. Again see comment above about the issues Nyck had with that car.
This car will be significantly worse than the McLaren he has struggled with for the last two years. And he is betting his future career in F1 on this!😬😬😬 (Why Daniel? Why?)
He simply has to beat his teammate. He has to. I know the excuses Daniel fans come up with, I’ve heard them on repeat for the last two years, his teammate is more familiar with the car. The team screwed him over. It was the tyres. Literally none of that will wash with Marko.
This might be the most high risk move of Daniel’s career because it’s either excel or there is the door. Which leads us to
Yuki
As those who have followed me for a while may have noticed, I have a soft spot for Yuki. Heaps of talent with an express rise through the ranks (seriously he makes Lando and Oscar look like they took their time), the downside being he hadn’t fully matured and didn’t have a complete grasp of English when he hit F1, but was suddenly expected to cope.
There has been improvement, no one can deny this, but now he is being measured against Daniel. No offence Pierre, the bar just got raised.
This is do or die for Yuki. He wants to be alongside Max. I’ve no doubt he would do great things in that Red Bull, but now he has to stand out against Danny Ric. So not only has the bar been raised but the goal has been moved as well.
Yuki was a seat push from Honda. He must feel the pressure on his shoulders now, especially as every year he expects to be shown the door. He must see that Daniel has been placed alongside him for one reason and one reason only, the same reason he has been fighting his guts out. The second Red Bull seat.
Sergio
This was meant to be it for Sergio. After years of being no one’s first choice, ousted from McLaren, forced to put Force India into administration to save them, for Racing Point/Aston Martin to show him the door. Sergio has had a tough career. Once considered the greatest balance to Max they had found, it’s clear that the two of them are not the best of buddies and his results are less than inspiring, despite his comeback in races being epic (even if I did chuckle that a few races ago when he couldn’t get past Lando I could imagine Daniel cheering the Brit on).
So how do you get the old Checo back who will bring you the results? Announce Lando is the perfect fit for Red Bull and then put Daniel in the sister car just down the pitlane from him all within the same morning. Yeah, that’ll work a treat, have an early lunch!
Everyone knows that Daniel is in that seat as a warning to Checo. Get your finger out otherwise your replacement is literally a few feet away. I’m not sure if they are looking for compliance or results anymore but the whole pitlane heard this warning. We will swap you out in a heartbeat, because
Lando
As a Lando girl I’m gonna say something controversial here. I have no doubt in my mind that after his “Max spoils everything” dig on Saturday, Max did not give much of a fight off the line on Sunday to let Lando lead his home Grand Prix, safe in the knowledge he would pass him, which he did and then Lando came back into his DRS range and everyone at Red Bull had kittens! The Ferrari they expect a fight, they know Mercedes will hunt them as best as they can, they have the legs on the Astons. Who but 50p in the McLarens?
Lando has been the bone of contention for Red Bull for about 6 years. Dismissed by Marko as a youngster as not as good as Max, yet at least once a year Christian starts the “but I want that one” charm offensive on Lando. I’m not saying that Marko’s current assessment is wrong but to me there is only one reason to bring Lando to Red Bull, to light a fire under Max. Because let’s not assume they aren’t trying to pressure Max.
Tyre testing
Now a bit of confused reporting here causes anxiety for Sergio, Lando and Max. It was first reported that Daniel’s testing time were quick enough to put him on the front row at Silverstone. In other words, he really is that good Sergio and Max and well you’re not that impressive after all Lando. However Chris Medland is now reporting Daniel was .7 off Max’s pole time, which would have put him behind both McLarens, both Ferraris and both Mercedes. Read from that what you want, who’s agenda that serves.
Liam Lawson, Alex Albon, Zane Maloney
Three drivers that you would think had designs on that second Red Bull seat or Alpha Tauri seat.
My understanding is that it was felt Lawson wasn’t quite ready for the AT seat at the start of the year and was packed off to Japan to see how he got on in Super Formula. He already has the super licence so this would be about experience. Currently second in the championship he doesn’t want to give up a chance of winning. However if he does win and there is still no F1 seat as they swapped Daniel and Sergio, kept Yuki and are trying to chat up Lando (again), he will begin to feel it doesn’t matter what he does.
Alex has kept his ties with Red Bull, probably due to the drinks company being 50%Thai owned, but with the stellar job he’s doing at Williams, he must have thought that there was a chance Red Bull might want him back at some point.
Finally poor Zane Maloney. Imagine being in F2, named as a Red Bull reserve driver and realising that there will need to be a blood bath if you have any hope of getting into an F1 seat at this rate. Interestingly Zane shares a management team with Lando and they were seen with Helmut this weekend.
So in conclusion, 6 F1 drivers and both of your reserves in the space of 24 hours. Take a bow, that headfuck is impressive by anyone’s standards.
I’m amazed he didn’t take a swipe at Lewis and try and kick Roscoe on the way out.
As you might have guessed by now, this is not a Helmut Marko fan account!
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gossipgirloff1 · 2 months
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okay why are you all hating on lando when he and oscar were put into that situation from mclaren?? like it could've all been avoided if the team did their job, so they're the ones to blame, not the drivers. they tainted oscar's rightfully deserved first win, and it was a difficult situation for both drivers that didn't have to happen.
mclaren said they boxed lando to "prevent the lewis + others threat" but if you looked at the times, everyone else was nowhere near during both lando's and oscar's pits. however, mclaren, knowing that lando would come in front. they knew that they'd have to swap positions again when they did that. but they still pitted lando. so when he and oscar came out, lando was leading. this is horrid strategy. mclaren time and time again prove they don't have the mentality to win world championships and that they can't make rational strategy decisions under pressure. they are a reactive team, not proactive, and they'll never win like this.
lando then starts to pull away, but it's not the total villain move everyone is making it seem like. yes, he was trying to prove a point, but when they did switch, they'd be far away from the others in case something else happened. it doesn't seem like lando is going to give up the spot, but why would he? the team carried out the strategy knowing he would come out in front.
so then mclaren resorts to the emotional blackmail and threats to get lando to fix their own mistake. they tell him lies about his tyres to try and gaslight him into slowing down. when lando points out that they should've just pitted oscar, they tell him that it doesn't matter. straight up. and then lando responds with, "i mean, it does. for me maybe." like the fucking audacity mclaren have to pretend like they didn't mess up is laughable. then will pulls out the one that triggers me. he says, "i'm trying to protect you." over and over to lando. that's manipulative. and mclaren basically threaten lando that if he doesn't do this, he won't have the support of the team when they say. "you're going to need to the team."
but the real kicker is that apparently andrea stella was the one telling will to say all this. andrea stella, the man in charge of the team, resorted to emotional blackmail and manipulation. you don't do that, not to your drivers, who have to blindly trust the pit wall, who can't see the data.
lando here is now faced with a tough decision. he's a driver, and he knows that he's being lied to about his tyres, he knows what mclaren are insinuating, and he knows that mclaren fucked up the strategy. but he has a chance to win, a chance to close the gap to max in wdc. every driver is bound to want to win. hell, in multi-21, seb went against team orders and won. "i don't apologize for winning," is what he said, and lando could've done that. but he didn't. of course, mclaren's intimidation played a role, but lando didn't drive off into the sunset and win. he gave the position back. and while he did do some shitty things like throwing the cap, being salty to lewis, and not spraying oscar first, you gotta look at it from the whole. he was forced to give up a win when the mental drama could've been avoided. hell, lando could've maybe even caught to oscar and overtaken him fair and square. but no, he was put in a shitty spot. while his actions weren't right, you have to understand that it's literally right after the race where tension is still high.
all in all, this was wholly mclaren's fault. there was absolutely no need to pit lando first, and even if they argue they wanted to be safe, is a slight risk worth this intra-team clash? is it worth what was said to lando? is it worth tainting oscar's first win? no, it wasn't mclaren need to learn how to make a strategy and think into the future. (sorry this was long) - 🧋
Yeah I agree with you🧋anon
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chussyracing · 4 months
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why no team did well in canada (an opinion/personal rant about canadian GP)
Red Bull Racing: Max had a problematic Friday and partly also FP3 with the ERS system and more set up issue related to the high kerbs. He put it in p2 and won the race anyway. Checo was out in q1, he qualified p16 or wherever. He had a problematic race, contact with Pierre right at the start, damage on the car, getting stuck at the bottom of the field, going through a wet patch, spinning out and ending his race with a crash.
Mercedes. I'm not sure what exactly happened in the house of Mercedes but seeing the interviews makes me feel a bit uneasy. Everyone knows that Lewis would be set aside for important meetings about the future of the team. Of course George is and should be the priority in the team rn, because he will be their main driver from next season. George had a chance to win and messed up slightly. Then he lost another chance that the safety car gave him with an overcut. On the other hand, I'm glad they pitted when they had the opportunity with the pit window open thanks to Fernando, it was a good call to go for fresh tyres - although it was slightly confusing to put Lewis on hards with 10 laps remaining (maybe they didn't have new mediums for him at that point and didn't want to add those which are already a few laps used). Lewis' post race interview was frustrating to hear knowing he struggled so much when it looked like he could go on to win the GP at certain point. (Also George saying Lewis cost him the P2 with that overtake and losing a bit of time with that fight....)
McLaren. Lando started higher so to a certain point it makes sense he should get priority in the race. On the other hand as a team, currently p3 in the constructor standings, you should work together and try to get as many points as possible. When Mercedes got close behind, Oscar was defending and Lando drove just a bit faster to be about 2 tenths over the DRS range for Oscar which made him an easier target for a full team of coworking drivers behind him. And then after, during the last restart when Mercedes had freshest tyres after a double pit stop they did, Oscar was an easy target again. Max had a great start, he got about 3 seconds away from Lando in a short time. Oscar's radio said that the target is protecting Lando's position and defending from behind. He managed fairly well until the contact with George (where honestly, it was a bit opportunistic from George considering Oscar was ahead and closing the gap). And certainly you cannot be fully satisfied with Lando's race either knowing his team had the pitstop ready and knew about the safety car, but made him miss the pit entry while everyone behind pitted. That allowed them to warm up their tyres well before Lando came out slipping on the fresh slicks a lap later - something which cost him a position at least.
Ferrari. This one is obviously a disaster start to finish. Both cars out in q2 after a set up that favoured wet conditions for dry quali. Last time i felt happiness was when Charles got two positions at the start. Ever since he got the engine issue which just kept getting worse and worse each lap and he was losing over 1,5s on straights alone, he was slower than Williams and at one point even Sauber. It was like he had negative drs and his braking references were all of and changing to worse as he went by. It kind of made sense to do a call for hards (if only they did it a little bit later on when it wasn't supposed to rain anymore). It also made sense to reset the system as he stopped and hopefully resolve the issue (and again to be fair, it got slightly better). Sadly, the timing was very unfortunate with the weather conditions, he was losing too much and had to pit once again for inters. My personal opinion is that they changed his engine between friday and saturday (because he already has quite a lot in his pool of components and it makes sense to use an older engine with more mileage during a free practice to preserve the newer ones for the important sessions). One point to Carlos for not immediately calling for the positions to get swapped with Charles when e fell behind him. Carlos was over-performed by his teammate this weekend and that's ok, but he fell to p15 at the start and then later on gained one position over Logan. There was still a chance for points at least if only he didn't slip, spin into the grass and crash into Alex. The damage was too substantial to continue, and even if they could fix it, the chance for points was pretty much lost.
VCARB. Daniel started sooo high up in p5 or something?? And they fumbled it so bad. He had a false start and got himself a 5s penalisation for it which hurt his race a lot. As much that Yuki got in front of him at a certain point of the race. What the team did was encourage Daniel to fight for that position with Yuki directly. Ultimately, he was the one to miss the turn and spin out of points on his own, but it was heavily encouraged by the team's decision.
Alpine. Pierre had a bad start with the collision with Checo. That hurt his race significantly as he fell all the way behind Esteban who started much lower with his 5 places grid penalty from Monaco. As the drivers slotted behind each other, Esteban was ordered to let Pierre by in hopes he would catch up with a car in front (was it a VCARB? i cannot remember), which he didn't. At the end Esteban asked to change the positions back which is common practice - he didn't get a positive answer for that though.
Haas. They did such a good job with the initial call for full wets while others started on inters. Kevin climbed up all the way to p4 and Nico climbed out to p6 (or was it p8) after being out in q1 the day before. Then they stopped Kevin to change to inters (once again a good call) and it went down from here. They didn't have tyres ready for the pit stop and he lost out a lot of time in pits. Nico was left out to die on the wets basically and when he pitted, he already lost a big part of what he gained by then.
Sauber. What a bad weekend at the start with two crashes by Guanyu and a spin from Valtteri. As if that wasn't enough, they had to change the spec of their wins to a different one which is contradictory with the parc fermé rules - that gained them a pit lane start for both drivers. They were fighting at the back of the field and went through another horrendous pit stop which killed any idea for points for the team.
Aston Martin: probably the only team that didn't mess up too bad. Lance has been doing relatively well, only touched the wall of champions once in quali and was doing very well during the race. Fernando has been coming out of two terrible weekends, he seemed to be doing like a fish in the sea with the wet and colder conditions in Montreal. If his team did a bit better job in the pit stops, he wouldn't have lost a position on track in favour of Lewis (because Mercedes had a great pit stop).
Williams: oh dear, if the missing chassis and spare parts from 2023 cars weren't enough, then this race sure was. The quali was quite good to them, both got out of Q1, Alex even got into Q3. There was a slight chance of getting into points with both cars seeing they had the pace at the start of the race. Sadly, Logan didn't have too good of a start. Logan crashed slightly and caused a YF. He could continue though. Later on he crashed again and it ended his race and neutered the pace for the rest of the field. Alex was unable to do anything to avoid the collision with Carlos who spun out in front of him and the contact ended his race as well and brought out another safety car.
TLDR: no team can be seen as a winner, although McLaren, Mercedes and Aston Martin all did pretty very well.
As a fan of course I like a bit of unpredictability and getting proved wrong when I was to guess a result of a race. I love LOVE multiple winners, as many as possible in a season. The rest though? The visibility on the first lap, the multiple cars crashing out... that's not it.
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f0point5 · 7 months
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I think Charles is pretty appropriately overall. I think there’s definitely valid criticisms of him when he overdrives the car to the point of crashing and/or having a ridiculously high tolerance for Ferrari’s mess. But at the same time he absolutely DOMINATED f2 and has overall has a fair bit of success in an era where first merc and now Red Bull have left very little opportunity to win. In my opinion he’s very close to Max in terms of talent.
the pole to win ratio criticism is such bullshit honestly imo. Yes, some of those were his mistakes. But many of them (ex: all of the 2023 ones) were him putting the Ferrari in a place where it had absolutely no business being. So of course the Ferrari which chews up tires would get overtaken in the race by max.
In summary: the il predestinato hype is a bit much but overall charles is up there with the best on the grid.
Yeah I think I mostly agree with this. For me, his talent is not overhyped, but I think the rest of the things that you need to be competitive haven’t caught up with the talent level.
The pole to win thing is irrelevant. I also tend to think his incredible one lap pace is pretty irrelevant because that’s not the game, but oh well. For sure the fact that the car doesn’t lend itself to race pace is not his fault. I wouldn’t say the car had no business being there though, because speed wasn’t a problem for that car, it was the tyre wear. It absolutely should have been there, the problem was that it couldn’t stay there. And they optimised the set up for qualifying a lot of times knowing that the race would be difficult. I don’t think Charles dragged that car up there. I think he did a fantastic job, but he did have the tools.
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vro0m · 2 years
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vro0m’s rewatch - 133/310
2014 Chinese GP
Hi! It's round 4! Everybody has high expectations following the Bahrain GP. I worry that we'll all be disappointed.
Apparently there's a lot of graining here, and it was a wet quali, so the track was washed clean and they can choose their tyres. It's going to be strategic then. 
We see Lewis in the drivers' parade. He says they get more and more fans here every year. He says it's gonna be a tough day and degradation is going to play a big part. He's not focused at all, he's waving to the fans. He says the graining is less of a concern as it gets hotter so he hopes it's going to be less of an issue during the race. 
The journalists think Lewis is starting to get in Nico's head. They think Lewis is playing games, for example when he said after the race that he was slower than Nico. Nico is still leading the WDC but he has to win today to turn this situation around, because Lewis is coming for him. 
Quali report. It was indeed very wet. So that's 3 wet quali out of 4 so far this season. Maldonado didn't go out at all because the car was broken, with an oil leak. Q1 went down without surprises. In Q2, it was Lewis who set the pace on inters. Massa and Raikkonen basically raced each other down the straight trying to get some clear track. But Raikkonen messed up and starts in 11th. The McLarens were also out in Q2. Jenson seems dispirited. Grosjean and Seb struggled to stay on track in Q3. Seb got the hang of it and he starts 3rd on the grid, but Daniel managed to outqualify him and starts P2. And guess who's on pole? It's Lewis again! 3 poles out of 4! Rosberg spun trying to catch him, and so he starts 4th.
That's Lewis 34th pole already! Damn these numbers are starting to add up. This rewatch is really going along isn't it? 
There's a whole segment about Domenicalli resigning from his job. They're talking about the lack of results, Alonso listing the championships they could've won and didn't. He's being replaced by a man who has zero F1 experience (why tf would you do that jesus christ), enters Marco Mattiacci, until then president and CEO of Ferrari North America. He said even he was surprised by the job offer. Then Alonso and an Italian journalist say you don't need racing experience and point out the example of Briatore who sold t-shirts before he got involved in F1. I mean sure, but that didn't end well did it? Mattiacci says he loves racing and does so in his spare time. For some reason the background music is the Game of Thrones title theme????? (note : actually the timing of posting this review in 2022 when Binotto just left Ferrari is very funny)
Brundle and Bruno Senna analyze the fight between Lewis and Nico in Bahrain. First Rosberg's overtake on Lewis that didn't work out, and how very close to a catastrophe they got as the contact could've resulted in a broken front wing for Rosberg and a puncture for Lewis (spoiler : foreshadowing.......). We are shown their respective lines on the track, just like I told you about in the last review, Lewis realizing he will be overtaken and going slightly wider to turn in sooner and keep the inside line. And then the second try, when it didn't work and Nico was ahead. They demonstrate how Lewis was strategizing his lines as they went, giving up on the current corner to position his car in a way that would allow him to overtake him in the next one, thinking ahead like a chess player. It's very impressive. They switch to show us Seb and Daniel also doing it well in Bahrain, and then Seb and Webber crashing in the 2010 Turkish GP compared to Jenson and Lewis fighting fairly in the same race. (And that really shows you how fair and clean a driver he usually is, contrary to some ridiculous claims that have been made in 2021 lol) 
Now we get Lewis telling us about his pole lap as usual. He said it was very slippery. You try to figure out where to brake as you fight the understeer, all the while taking the wind into account. He shows the spot where he lost a lot of time locking up one of his front tyres which also affected the next corner. Then he thought he needed to gain more time in the rest of the lap. He shows the areas of standing water. He thought he'd miss a turn because he went in too deep but fortunately his car turned at the right time. Brundle says the title is clearly either coming to him or Nico. He makes a gesture with his microphone and a face that says "man come on…"
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But Brundle presses further. Lewis says "well at the moment" but the Redbulls have a very good car and good down force. "If they can get their engine sorted I think they'll be fighting us hard."
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He thinks it's "naturally" going to happen at some point in the season and he hopes Mercedes keeps moving forward as well. Brundle asks if he can take a psychological advantage from Rosberg making loads of mistakes while he himself is putting on the pressure. He says yes, when you're in practice and you put in a lap you think is good and realize your teammate is a few tenths faster than you… he says he knows how it feels, and it makes you think you have to push more. Brundle says in F1 you're either giving pressure or taking it and Lewis chuckles as he answers he likes it better when he's giving it than taking it.
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He reiterates the race is going to be difficult, the track is really hard on the tyres. 
Formation lap 
Lewis backs them up to the point it looks like he's stopped on the track completely lol. Brundle says it makes a lot of sense to do that and he's surprised they don't see it more often. It kind of became standard since then didn't it? 
And they're racing! 
Massa overtakes Rosberg who has a bad start. Alonso is also ahead of him, BUT HE MAKES CONTACT WITH MASSA! Alonso still gets ahead and overtakes Daniel to go fight Seb who also got ahead of his teammate into turn 1. Lewis is getting away already! Hulkenberg and Rosberg are fighting for P6. At the end of the first lap, Lewis is 1.5 seconds ahead of Seb, then come Alonso, Daniel, Massa, Rosberg, Hulkenberg, Grosjean, Raikkonen and Bottas. And Valtteri overtakes Raikkonen for P9. Hulkenberg complains he has front wing damage. Valtteri overtakes Grosjean as well! And Rosberg overtakes Massa for P5. Sutil retires for the third time in a row. Alonso complains of graining. Lewis says he also has graining on the left front but the tyres are doing quite good and it's not causing any problem. Seb also reports "serious graining on the front left" but he's told there's no good gap behind. There's telemetry problems for Rosberg, but Lewis is fine. 
We're 10 laps in. Lewis is almost 10 seconds ahead. The order hasn't changed : Seb, Alonso, Daniel, Rosberg, Massa, Hulkenberg, Bottas, Raikkonen as Grosjean pits and Kvyat now in P10. We're told Massa also has telemetry problems. Massa and Raikkonen pit in response to Grosjean but there's an issue for Massa! It's long… he shakes his head. They seem to not have had the correct rear tyres ready or something… and even now that they have them they struggle to put them on. He throws his hands in the air, shakes his head again and lift his visor. It's so long my god. The mechanic finally lifts his hands, the brakes are smoking from being stopped for so long, and even then they take a long time to set the car back down for him to leave. Terrible. Alonso comes in. Hulkenberg comes in. Rosberg asks his team to check his front wing when he comes in, and they say there might be rubber stuck in it. Seb pits. He comes back out behind Alonso though! Rosberg is called in. Seb is closing on Alonso, they're fighting for P3 but virtually for P2. Bono : "okay Lewis, so Ricciardo the only car that's in our pit window at the moment, you're 4 tenths faster than him last lap." Seb says they're too slow in the straights to overtake Alonso, he asks if it's worth backing off. He's told yes. Daniel pits from P2, he's out in P5. That should clear Lewis’ window? But he comes on the radio to say "surprisingly the front tyres still feel really good, as well as the rears." But Crofty points out his lap tyres aren't as good as they were so he'll have to come in anyway to keep Alonso and Seb at bay. Oh and we see he did lock up a bit, and went wide. He's actually struggling with grip. Yep. He pits. It's a good 2.9 stop and he's back out in the lead still, but of course Alonso is significantly closer now. Mercedes has to ask Rosberg to read certain numbers on his steering wheel so they can calculate the amount of fuel he has left as they can't get his telemetry data. He's told he's good on fuel. 
It's lap 20. Lewis is 5 seconds ahead of Alonso. Then we have Seb, Rosberg, Daniel, Hulkenberg, Bottas, Raikkonen, Grosjean and Perez. It's not a fascinating race so far ngl. Daniel is told his pace is good and only the Mercedes are quicker than him. Indeed Rosberg is closing on Seb. And they're wheel to wheel in the straight! He goes a bit deep in the corner, but he manages to stay ahead while Seb has to carefully avoid contact. Now they're in the pit straight, one behind the other, very very close still. Seb takes the outside line, they're wheel to wheel again! But as the track turns to the left, the advantage goes to Rosberg, who stays ahead. Seb has to fall back a bit and Daniel is right there, watching, waiting. And there he goes, attacking Seb in the next lap. DRS for Ricciardo while Seb lost the DRS over Rosberg. But it's too far still. Oh and Seb is told once again to let him through. Daniel is told to get close and overtake him. Seb asks what tyres he's on. "Primes, but he stopped later than you," says Rocky. "Tough luck," Seb answers. So he's not obeying is he? Brat (affectionate). And yep. Seb defends against Daniel. But Ricciardo is close, and he has the DRS advantage. He takes the inside line, and Seb gives up. Crofty and Brundle debate whether he yielded or made a mistake. We hear another team radio message. "Sebastian, Daniel is on a two-stop." Seb tells them to think about boxing. Grosjean is told to use 4th gear as little as possible as they are having problems with it. He exclaims that he can't! But he's told they have to or it's DNF. Rocky : "Sebastian, stay out, it helps us, please stay out. We are aware." And Grosjean goes off track and joins back. He comes in and retires. 
It's lap 30. Lewis complains about his tyres. He’s still in the lead of course, 13.3 seconds ahead of Alonso. Then the order goes Rosberg, Ricciardo, Seb, Hulkenberg, Bottas, Raikkonen, Perez and Kvyat. And here we go for the second wave of pit stops with Hulkenberg and Bottas. Rosberg is told to push to overtake Alonso, but he's still 1.5 behind so. Idk about that. Alonso pits. Then Seb pits. There's 20 laps to go. Rosberg and Ricciardo pit. Lewis is called in, they say they will clean his front wing for some reason. He was a bit slow to leave the box, 3.9. He's still in the lead though. Like. BY FAR. Earlier we saw the fuel use of the top 10 and for some reason there wasn't any data for Bottas. Ted says it's because his telemetry isn't working either. But we had Rosberg's, which prompts Crofty to ask whether they fixed his issue but Brundle says it might affect some components of telemetry and not others. However he did have to tell them what his fuel consumption was earlier so. Idk. 
Lap 40, and indeed they ask him for it again. He says : "33.5. It really annoys me to do that so I need to stop doing that now." He's closing on Alonso. And here you go. He overtakes him easily. Ricciardo is faster than Alonso as well, but he's 6 seconds down. Can he make it? 10 laps to go. Now Daniel is told Alonso is matching his pace. "Keep pushing!" 5 laps to go. Ricciardo gets the DRS from a back marker but actually loses a bit of time overtaking him. Final lap. Lewis says he got the checkered flag, for some reason. 
And it's the end of the race! 
It's the first time Lewis wins three races in a row. Rosberg P2, Alonso P3. It wasn't a very interesting race.
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Rosberg is still leading the WDC but only by 4 points now.
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Nico doesn't look too happy in the cool down room. The Mercedes representative tries to make small talk with him and he barely answers and kind of shrugs it off. Lewis and Alonso are talking off camera I believe. These men don't have too much to say to each other. Rosberg sarcastically asks Lewis if it was a tough race. Lewis laughs a bit.
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For some reason Lewis hands his trophy over to Nico to let him feel its weight I think? They do look unusually light.
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Just like Seb once, Lewis sprays the podium girls and the cameraman. I don't like it when they do that, I find it a bit obnoxious tbh.
Brundle says it looked easy from where they stood. Lewis says he couldn't have done it without the hard work from the team. He can't believe how good that car is. He says surprisingly the tyres did very well even though the quali was wet. He says he was racing himself really. He's happy Nico is up there with him, he really deserves it. Later Brundle jokes they can't improve this car any more than that! Lewis says the team is on a roll and they have to keep working hard because the others are pushing to catch them.
In the garage, some guys are dancing as they drink.
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Lewis is getting ready for the team photo and already trying to get the champagne bottle out of his team member’s hands.
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He does so forcefully and then sprays the guy who had it with it lol.
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Nico's there and Toto and they take the photo as one of them sprays the champagne in the air.
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(idk what Nico was saying but he looks so annoyed AND annoying in this gif lmao, absolute diva)
And that's how they interview him, as he wipes his eyes from the champagne.
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They talk about his hair? Simon says "the power of the mohawk!" Lewis smiles wide. He says he didn't plan to have his hair look like this, it just grows that way.
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Simon asks if they can have a look, he says no and Johnny tries to take away his cap, which. Consent, man? Ever heard of it?
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Lewis laughs it off and gets the conversation back on track : he's so proud of his team, the energy is great and he hopes it is as good in the factory as it is there. He's grateful he can put in performances like today. Simon says they often travel with these guys and they seem very very happy. He says though Lewis still has to do the work on the track and it seems to be going so well at the moment, with three 1-2. Lewis says of course it's great when you're winning but they're not getting complacent, they're working hard, the guys are pushing hard. They're still trying to improve the car even though it's very good. He says he feels like he's growing with the team and the car. He's more comfortable with the car this year, he understands it better and that's what you see in the results. Johnny says his messages on the radio sound so positive, is it what he's feeling : positivity? Lewis nods "it is, it is… are you gonna give me your mic?"
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Johnny forgot he didn't have one. They laugh at him. Lewis says he's had amazing support here from the fans, he sees them at the airport and in the hotel, they're amazing. Simon says that's 25 wins now, equal with Niki and Jim Clarke. He says he's pushed Fangio out of the top 10.
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Simon says he always says he doesn't know but he must know! Lewis says he doesn't, he doesn't know the stats until they tell him. He gets reflective, he says it's remarkable for him to come from Stevenage and he never believed he'd end up there. All the work his dad and family put in to get him there, he is so grateful. "And to be up there with the greats, I hope my dad's proud, I hope my family's proud because, I mean, I'm working to continue on the journey that they helped me get on." He's way more serious as he says that. I wonder how they get along at that time, we haven't seen Anthony in a while.
It's awful btw because talking about consent you see these men forcing their way to take photos with him. First while he's blinded by the champagne some guy comes, puts his hand on his shoulder without asking and takes a photo. And when they start the interview he's still behind him taking selfies, leaning in very close to him where he can't see him. And then during the interview you see this other guy behind him trying to get his photo taken next to him while he talks. It must be so annoying. It's like he's not a person but just a monument or something. I don't like seeing it. 
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severingt · 13 days
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The story of ‘Nite’ (2nd November 2001)
Late 1974 To the best of my recollection, my brother Peter (although I called him ‘Pott’) was in a band. He played rhythm guitar and a guy called Ian Foster was lead guitarist. I don’t know who else was in that band. The rub was between my brother and Ian anyway.
In a rare moment of us talking civilly to each other he told me that he was unhappy in the band as Ian would mess around too much and do the superstar thing. It’s fair to say at this point that Ian was a quite gifted lead guitarist. So, I said something like what do you want to do? And Pete said, ‘kick him out!’ But he also expressed concern as to what else would happen. I said that if he were unhappy why continue.
I asked did he know of others that could play so that another band could be formed? He knew Prof (Andrew MacLachlan) was a drummer and Mitch (Patrick Mitchum) could play rhythm, which pre-empted his move to lead. He also knew a guy called Stephen Bischhof (Bisch) (?) who could play. The idea was to put him on bass where he couldn’t do too much harm. So, a singer was needed and I volunteered. I’d always fancied it and my guitar playing had been ridiculed for some time. So, there it was, the line up was in place.
But where do we practice? Luckily, my brother and I lived in a house with a double garage that my father was too lazy to put his car in. The scene was set. In the following few days Pete busied himself getting people motivated and handing in his notice with Ian. A date was set, a Sunday afternoon as I recall which was soon upon us.
Our equipment was the envy of none. For that first practice, I used a cassette tape recorder microphone, which went through a Leak amplifier along with the three guitars. Prof had the best gear as he had a full set of Olympic by Premier drums. They were a sparkling gold colour, which was really passé at the time, but, hey, they were real drums dammit!! My brother used my Columbus Gibson SG copy; Mitch used Pete’s Top Twenty Fender Stratocaster copy and I think Bisch had a Fender copy too, we told him that he only need concern himself with the bottom string for bass.
The sound we made was, er, quite unique and Copnor had not heard the like before. By the end of that first practice, we had neighbours from about half a mile away complaining and knocking on the garage ‘up and over’ door.
If enthusiasm was all it took then we were already stars. It is true to say that we were very enthusiastic and happy with the results of the first practice. I can remember Pascal Egan dancing around in the garage, to our amusement. Mostly, the practices were in our garage but some were elsewhere. We had quite a few at Profs house in Bedhampton. This wasn’t just a case of turning up, setting up and playing. This involved pushing a vintage Vauxhall, which was about as heavy as the Golden Gate Bridge, out of the garage before we could start. I can remember pushing the thing over to the petrol station one day just to put air in the tyres! However, I’m straying from the point. Strange isn’t it, I can’t remember people’s names but can remember stupid things like that?
So, our repertoire grew and some practices were better than others. The songs I remember us playing were: Paper Plane (Status Quo) Johnny B Goode (with no lead guitar) Be Bop a Lu La Trouble (with an extra verse) Summertime Blues C’mon Everybody School Days c/w No Particular Place to Go (I think) (Chuck Berry) Wig Wam Bam The Cat Crept In Remember Youre a Womble (once only and I was appalled – think I walked out!) Down Down (Status Quo) Of course we had a go at a lot of songs – I even remember Heroin at one time (the song not taking it!)
We also practiced once at Bisch’s weekend residence in Cowplain. This was a surreal experience and quite near our one and only gig. A little background then, Bisch’s father owned a Swiss Patisserie in Southsea. So, when we went to practice on Sunday afternoon, we were offered all Saturdays left over cakes. Well, that was nice in itself, but Bisch’s father also supplied JPS cigarettes in packs of 50 (in those little round black plastic containers). I can remember Pascal stuffing them in the pockets of his ex-RAF overcoat as if looting!
I had invested in a mic and stand by this point. Not the best in the world but better than the cassette mic I had been using. I think Prof had bought a new cymbal, too. The practice was marked by Bisch’s unveiling of his new equipment, a proper bass guitar and a Traynor amp.
Now, our suspicions were raised when Bisch told us that bass guitars didn’t need tuning. Then the ‘Traynor’ name on the amp was in those stick on angled gold background and black text things. However, it was better than any of our equipment. This highlighted another issue.
As mentioned previously, Bisch was put on bass out of harms way. He used, up to this point, the lowest string of a normal six-string electric guitar going through the same amp as everyone else. Therefore, we couldn’t hear him. Now he had a real bass guitar and a separate amp that was really loud. It hadn’t happened before. We didn’t realise until this point that Bisch had no natural rhythm.
At this time, we were practicing furiously for the gig at the Cumberland on 8th February 1975. So, how was it exactly? Well, I was glad I had the mic stand as this freed up both my hands so I could stick a finger in each ear, as deep as possible. We couldn’t play anything, as when we tried the, er, unsyncopated rhythm threw us into chaos. Pete even took over bass duties at one point to show Bisch how it could be done. Of course Bischs response was ‘I didn’t hear any difference’.
What to do? Hey this is all sounding a bit negative. It must be remembered that we were having fun here and discovering how to push ourselves, how to work within a group, compromise, lots of good skills that (I guess) we all developed further later in life. Also, looking back on it, it was a great time. You don’t realise at the time how close members of a group become. You have to learn to trust each other, at least to keep their part of the group going, be it drums, vocals, bass or guitar.
So we sacked him. His dad was livid after just buying all that equipment. What could we do? So, in one of those ironic twists that you wouldn’t believe if you saw it on TV or read it in a novel; we invited Ian Foster to play bass. He accepted, and then asked Bisch if he could borrow his equipment! Only a teenage could be that sensitive.
Just to complete the Bisch part of the story, some time later he had a motorbike accident with a lorry in Cowplain (thanks Prof), I thought it was in Fratton by St Mary’s church but hey the result was the same, the young man died.
I think we can only have had one practice with Ian. If memory serves, that was the night before the gig and at Prof’s house. I can still remember it being a really great practice. We all left positive, motivated and scared.
The day of the gig arrived. We arrived, set up, found that there was only one electric socket on the wall and then had to plug multi adaptor into multi adaptor.
The equipment:
Prof: Olympic by Premier drums, sparkling gold.
Pete: My Columbus Gibson SG copy guitar into a borrowed (from Bill Swadling?) Sound City amp which was purple
Mitch: Pete’s Top Twenty Fender copy guitar into the Sound City
Ian: Bass guitar from I dunno where into a practice amp mic’d up into the Sound City
Me: my mic into a Hi Fi amp and into some big 12” Goodman’s as a PA.
Pete recorded the whole thing on a reel to reel Teleton (I bet he still has it the recorder not the recording). Bubbling with excitement and nerves, we started. Within 20 minutes, we had done all the songs we had. So, we did them again. Then we did them again, and again. I think we only had about 7 songs, not sure. Some people were actually dancing at one point. Then, we took a break.
During the break, the Young Socialists took over the mic and the guy did a bit of a speech which Ian punctuated with noises from his bass guitar. It was funny but I guess you had to be there. After the break, we came back and did them again. I think we did Down Down just for a change and Mitch came in too early and spoilt Pete’s solo part. Then I think Ian did vocals on yet another version of Paper Plane. Then it was over.
Post-gig blues can be quite bad and I seem to remember that we didn’t see each other for some time after and when we did, it wasn’t the same. Our ‘Let It Be’ period, if you like.
No use raking through that particular mess as it would just detract from the fun, excitement and exhilaration of four (although five really) teenagers having fun in each others company and playing music together- or almost together! (is that too schmaltzy as an ending?)
(c) 2009 GT
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The Florist next-door... Andy Barber x reader series Part 5
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<Part 4<
Warnings: 18+ readers only, oral f-receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, arguing, cheating
"Where'd you learn to cook?" Andy asked as he washed the dishes after the two of you had eaten the food you'd cooked.
"Hmm... my dad, taught me." You smiled to yourself. "Well, my dad and my grandma."
Andy smiled at you, "You know, I don't think you've ever spoken about your family." Andy said to you.
You hummed. "Yeah, well, we kinda lost touch." You frowned. "I haven't spoken to them in... Four, years."
Andy's brow furrowed as turned to face you, drying his hands on a towel. "How come it's been so long?" He asked.
You shook your head, "You don't want to know."
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." He offered you a warm smile. "How about we open a bottle of wine and you can tell me all about it."
You shook your head with a short chuckle, "I warn you, after hearing all about my messed up life, you won't want anything to do with me."
Andy scoffed, "Right and my life is perfect."
"Fair point." You nodded. "Okay, how much do you want to know?" You asked him as he walked over to a cupboard and pulled out two wine glasses.
"Everything." He grabbed a bottle of wine then lead you over to the sofa.
"We might need more wine." You joked and flopped down onto the sofa.
Andy chuckled as he sat beside you, "There's plenty, so don't hold back." He poured you each a glass and handed you one.
"Thanks..." You stayed silent for a second or two before you began, "My mom walked out on me and my dad when I was about three or something... The house wife on a low income life was never for her, always meant for diamonds and champagne." You took a large sip, "Dad didn't need loads of money. He had a family and a roof over his head, he was happy. But mom wanted more and she was happy leaving us behind to get it."
"M'sorry to hear that." Andy placed his hand on your knee.
You shook your head. "It's fine. I mean, we had to move in with my grandparents because dad was struggling to look after me, work at the same time and keep the house tidy, but we didn't mind." You smiled. "I loved my grandparents. Grandad taught me to put up a shelf and my grandma taught me to cook." You chuckled, "Family was everything."
"So how come you haven't spoken to them in four years?" Andy asked.
You let out a heavy sigh, "My ex-husband didn't like how close I was to them, but I think it was because they had worked out what sort of person he was." You frowned. "When we moved in together, I wasn't allow to see them as much. Then when we moved out here, my interaction with them became less and less until... My wedding day and that was the last time I saw them." You sniffled and quickly wiped your tears away.
"Have you tried to reach out to them?" Andy asked.
You shook your head, "I'm too ashamed of myself. I'm no better than my mother... I abandoned my family."
"No," Andy slipped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure your family understand. They love you and they'll know you love them." He frowned to himself. "You have nothing to be ashamed of." He whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know who slashed your tyres."
You sat back from him with a frown. "You do?"
He nodded as he gave you somber look, "It was, Laurie." He admitted.
"Oh," You whispered and quickly push yourself up as Andy's phone began to vibrate on the coffee table.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N." Andy followed, ignoring his phone. "I didn't know she was going to do this."
You shook your head, "It's okay." You turned to face him. "You don't need to worry."
His brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"I won't be pressing charges." You nodded. "That's what you want, right?"
Andy's eyebrows shot up. "What? No. Why would you not? She deserves--"
"She's your wife." You answered. "Besides, if I did, it would look super bad for, Jacob, right?"
Andy stared at you in disbelief. How were you still being so nice to Laurie? "Laurie, should have thought of that when thinking slashing your tyres was a good thing."
You looked away from him. "Just forget about it." You sighed.
Andy shook his head. "I can't just forget it, Y/N." He moved closer to you.
"Why not? She's your wife, Andy. It's fine."
"Stop saying that!" Andy snapped.
"What?" You asked.
"I don't care that she's my wife." Andy growled.
"Why not?"
"Because she's not the woman I love!" Andy shouted as he reached out and grabbed your upper arms.
The two of you stared at each other quietly as Andy's words hung in the air. He went to open his mouth but his phone began to vibrate on the coffee table once again.
You quickly stepped back from him, wiping the tears that had started to fall. "It might be, Jacob." You sniffled as you rushed off and ran upstairs.
Andy began to panic as he grabbed his phone, letting out a pleased sigh when he saw it was in fact Jacob. "Hey, buddy." He smiled to himself.
"Hey, dad."
"Everything okay?" Andy looked over to the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah. I just wanted to say night before I turned in for the night."
Andy chuckled, "Bored without your xbox?" He asked knowing his son.
Jacob groaned, "You have no idea." Andy chuckled. "You and Y/N, have a good night?"
Andy gulped. "Uh, yeah, cooked dinner, washed up, chatted about adult stuff."
"Did, Y/N, cook?" Jacob asked excitedly.
"Yeah, she cooked and don't worry, she made extra for you to eat tomorrow." Andy smiled as he heard Jacob cheer.
"I should get going dad. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, buddy, you'll see me tomorrow. Love you."
"Love you, dad."
Andy hung up and closed his eyes as he let his head fall back. Before he could move from his spot his phone went off again, it was the police officer handling your case. "Andy Barber." He answer.
"Hey, sorry to bother you so late, Andy."
"Don't worry about it. What can I do for you?" Andy let out a heavy tired sigh.
"Nothing really, I just wanted to let you know that, Y/N, gave me a call confirming she didn't want to press charges."
Andy frowned as he looked back over at the bottom of the stairs. "When?"
"Just now. I guess your wife explained, huh."
Andy ground his teeth. "Something like that. Thanks for letting me know." He said goodbye before hanging up.
You let out a heavy sigh as you put your phone onto charge before pushing yourself up from the edge of the bed. You then walked over to where your over night bag was and pulled your pj's out to change into, ready to curl up and fall asleep. Before you could pull your top off the bedroom door flew open making you jump.
"Why did you do it?" Andy glared at you.
"I already told you, I wasn't going to press charges." You sighed.
"I don't care if, Laurie, is my wife, Y/N. You shouldn't have done--"
"I didn't do it because of her!" You cut him off. "I did it for, Jacob..." You whispered before closing your eyes and turning your back to him. "I did it for you."
Andy's brow furrowed, "Me?"
You nodded, "You've got enough going on. You don't the drama from this, too."
"But why? After everything, Laurie, has said and done, why would you--"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, ANDY!" You shouted as you spun back around to face him. "I love you, and I shouldn't but I can't stop myself. I wish I could, then this wouldn't be so hard, but I can't." You admitted, tears slowly falling as you looked at him.
Andy silently closed the gap between you and held your face in his hands before he crashed his lips against yours in a hard kiss. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip before entering your mouth, deeping your kiss as you wrapped your arms around him.
He eventually pulled back from you and rested his forehead against yours, "You're the woman I love, Y/N."
You sniffled, gripping his t-shirt tighter in your hands. "We're screwed, aren't we?"
Andy chuckled, "I guess so." He leaned down and kissed you again but much softer this time.
His hands moved down your sides to the hem of your t-shirt and slid underneath so he was touching your warm skin. He slowly moved them up until his thumbs were just below your breasts that he knew were uncovered as your nipples were pebbled through your t-shirt.
"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop." He said softly as he lightly stroked your skin, almost touching your breast but not quite.
You shook your head, "I can't, because I don't want you to stop." You whispered.
Andy smiled softly and easily pulled your t-shirt off before reconnecting his lips with yours. You opened your mouth to let his tongue inside as you grabbed the hem of his t-shirt. You pulled back and lifted it up, over his shoulders before pressing your lips back to his as you ran your hands up his sides round to his back.
Andy pulled back taking a deep breath. His eyes were lust blown as he smirked at you. "You're so beautiful,"
He got to one knee in front of you to pull down your sweats, throwing them to the side before he ran his hands up your thighs and round to your bare ass cheeks, giving them a squeeze. He let out a low groan.
He grabbed your hips and pushed you onto the bed and pushed your legs wide. "Fuck," He growled and leaned forwards, running his tongue up the length of your pussy making you moan.
Andy worked his tongue up and down, moaning at your taste.
"Oh, God," You moaned rolling your eyes back as Andy sucked on your clit. You slipped your fingers into his brown locks and lightly tugged as he began to move his head side to side, his beard rubbing your thighs.
He pulled back with a smirk, "I could eat you all day, sweetheart."
You let out a breathy giggle, "Don't stop now."
Andy chuckled, "I won't, but I can't wait to be inside you." He lifted his right hand and ran his knuckles through your wet lips making you jump and bite your lip.
He slowly coated his fingers in your wetness before he pushed two of his fingers inside of you. Andy began flicking his tongue against your swollen clit making soft moans fall from your lips as your eyes closed and your back arch as he moved his fingers in and out of you.
You groaned, "Fuck, Andy,"
Andy moaned against you. He twisted his hand and curled his fingers as he sucked on your clit. You threw your head back, rolling your hips against his hand moaning.
Andy smirked as he pulled back from you, "You gonna cum?"
You nodded, "Yes."
"Good girl," Andy reached up with his left hand and grabbed your breast, running his thumb over your hard nipple as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. "Cum all over my fingers, baby."
You let out a deep moan as Andy his tongue over your clit, pushing you over the edge.
Andy smirked proudly as he with drew his fingers from you and sucked his fingers clean. "Perfect." He hummed before he stood up and began to push his sweats down, letting his hard cock spring free.
You let out a low moan as you stared at his beautiful cock. "Fuck,"
"Lay back," Andy helped you move up the bed before he crawled between your legs. "I need to be inside you," He kissed you, taking a hold of his cock and running it through your folds.
You mouth fell open as Andy pushed his length inside of you. Your nails dig into his broad shoulders as your leg that was hooked over his hip pulled him closer. "Oh, Andy,"
"So, good," He whispered and kissed you. "Perfect. Fuck," He began to roll his hips as he hurried his face in the crook of your neck, his beard tickling your skin.
"God!" You cried out, "Oh, God,"
He pulled back and crashed his mouth against yours, forcing his tongue inside as he cupped your face with his right hand. "Fuck, I love you," He panted, resting his forehead against yours. "Need to hear it." He almost pleaded with you.
You nodded, "I love you, Andy," You whispered against his lips before kissing him softly.
You rolled your hips in time with his, moaning and kissing each other, as Andy worked your body until he was pulling another orgasm from you. A few short moments later he was stilling his movements and filling you with his cum. The two of you held each other close as you came down from your high.
"Shh, baby, I've got you." Andy whispered soothingly as he brushed your tears away, kissing your cheek, "I've got you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @eviesaurusrex @gh0stgurl @galaxy-dusk
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race-week · 3 years
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Race-Week's Mid Season Review
I mean what a start to the season we have had. I have to admit at the start of the year I was expecting Mercedes and Lewis to walk away with both titles easily and I've been pleasantly surprised to get to see the wheel to wheel battles that we have had this year.
I have to admit I have terrible memory, so I've gone back and watched all the race highlights to help me out.
Its a long post and as such it'll be under the cut, feel free to share your opinions - I'd love to hear what you think.
Top 3 Best Moments
Esteban Ocon's win in Hungary, what can I say, I'm a sucker for a first time winner and I have been following Esteban's career since GP3 and he's always massively impressed me. How he was able to stay calm with Sebastian hunting him down I'll never know, but I definitely think this will stay in my highlights of the season. He never made a mistake and that was insane.
Fernando's defensive driving in Hungary - this literally was incredible to watch, my dad and I were literally screaming at the screen and it was definitely a moment that showed that Fernando has still got it.
Sebastian Vettel's P5 at Monaco; this is way more spectacular than either of his podium drives, because he and the team absolutely nailed the strategy. This was the first race I would say since possibly even Hockenheim 2018 where we saw the old Seb back and he looked comfortable in the car and it looked like things were turning around.
Top 3 Worst Moments
The Silverstone crash, well not the crash itself but the reaction from fans and the teams afterwards. Especially the drama over the radios and the comments and blatant racism on social media. I've said it before that did not make the sport look good at all and also as fans we were robbed from what would have been an incredible battle, that likely would have lasted race long. But my main comment on this and the reason why it is top of my worst moments is the fact that the outcry afterwards was despicable and not a good look for the sport
The tyres at Baku, that just made the sport look really bad. If the tyre manufacturer can't produce a tyre or chose the right set of tyres for Baku, how could you expect them to produce suitable tyres for the rest of the season. Then with the aftermath of Pirelli refusing to take blame and instead implying that the teams weren't complying with the rules but still bringing more robust tyres later down the line. It was all a mess and we are very lucky that neither Max or Lance were seriously hurt, with such high speed failures in such dangerous places.
Daniel Ricciardo lapped by Lando Norris at Monaco, out of all the drivers that changed teams Daniel seems to be the one that has struggled the most and especially with all the media and the fans before this season saying that Daniel was going to annihilate Lando and then that happened at Monaco no less, it was definitely a rough moment.
So who has improved on points 11 races in compared to last year and who has lost out?
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3 Biggest Surprises
Fernando Alonso - I think everyone was kind of expecting Fernando to not quite be his old self, I was kind of expecting to see a repeat of Michael Schumacher at Ferrari, still a really good driver but not his prime, but Nando has come in and knocked it out of the park. Bahrain (until the wrapper killed him) was so impressive, the last 2 laps at Baku was insane, the Silverstone sprint race, Hungary in general. I don't think that Fernando has a prime, the man could probably keep racing into his 50s, hes finished 8/11 races in the points and 6 of them are in a row.
Lando Norris - he has been massively over delivering this year, the McLaren package is strong but Lando has almost taken on the role that Checo used to have, where he was the midfield driver that was there if anything was to happen usually lucking out with a P4/5 or even a podium. He has massively impressed me this year, especially in Imola, Austria and Silverstone where he just got on with his race and for him to still hold 3rd in the drivers midway through the season is ridiculously impressive.
Carlos Sainz - I would say that Carlos has always been a driver that consistently delivers but in an under the radar way. I was expecting him to do well at Ferrari but he has massively exceeded my expectations, hes currently 3 points ahead of Charles and was probably the quickest to adapt to a new team (the extra testing paid off).
Top 3 Let Downs
Daniel Ricciardo - this one hurts me to write but unfortunately it's true, whenever the McLaren video on Sky Sports comes on with Daniel saying he expects podiums and wins from himself this year it hurts me. He's only been in Q3 5 times out of 11 races and in Portugal he was out in Q1. The McLaren should be easily in Q3 every week. I think Daniel may just be a slightly less adaptable driver than some of the others, he had similar issues with his first year in Renault, but I have to admit that I expected more from him this year and hopefully its just an adjustment thing and he'll be stronger in the latter half of the year.
Yuki Tsunoda; there was a lot of energy around Yuki preseason and at the start of the year, especially with him scoring points on debut, but since then there hasn't been an awful lot to back this up. He's often getting kicked out in Q1 which when the Alpha Tauri is often the 5th best car, that shouldn't happen. Tyres seem to be a big issue with him and that's a major component of F1 and as a driver who in F2 was proclaimed to have great tyre management there's a discrepancy. I don't know if Red Bull are going to be patient enough to help him develop.
Valtteri Bottas; it does pain me to say it but Valtteri has had a rough start to the season, he's currently on his greatest points deficit to Lewis, 11 races in than he has been their whole time as teammates. 5 P3 finishes and 1 P2 so far. Realistically he should be easily 3rd in the drivers and yes he's had his fair share of bad luck this season, but there's been cases where he just doesn't trust the car.
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jwillowwolf · 3 years
Text
The Dreamscape Daycare
Warning/s: food mention
Tag list: @theimprobabledreamersworld
Thomas loved his job.
He really did, but sometimes he wondered if it would have been better for him to have chosen a different profession. You see, Thomas ran his own little daycare, the Dreamscape, and each day he got to witness children playing together, making happy childhood memories, creating their own stories through games, and allowing themselves to be anything they could imagine. But he also ended up having to sit and work with children through any arguments that arose. Like today...
Read on AO3
“You can’t be the dragon and a witch. That’s too many things.”
“They’re not a dragon and witch, they’re a dragonwitch.”
“Same thing.”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“Mr Thomas!”
Thomas sighed and turned his attention to the Royél twins.
Roman and Remus Royél were the most chaotically creative children that he’d met yet. Unfortunately, they bickered nearly twice as much as any other siblings he’d ever met. Roman was a dreamer, a star born for the spotlight, he loved making things that he could show off for praise from his peers. Remus was a visionary, an artist like no other, he loved to use everything and anything to make things that were unique rather than applauded.
Both twins were creative, but they had different forms of creativity. This meant that their parallel personas often clashed. At least this time they hadn’t physically clashed. Not yet anyway…
“Yes, Roman?”
“Remus says that our antagonist can’t be a dragonwitch.”
“Why?”
“Because- wait, yeah, why?” Roman asked Remus.
“Because you can’t be a dragon and a witch. Those are two separate things,” Remus explained with a duh tone.
“But the whole point is we’re combining them. Like pizza and ice cream,” Roman paused and frowned. “Wait, that sounds weird.”
Remus grinned. “I like the sound of it.”
“It does sound interesting. But what toppings? And what flavours?”
“Anchovies.”
“Yuck! I hate anchovies. Hold on, you hate them too.”
“Yeah, but you make a funny yuck face.”
Roman rolled his eyes. “Anyway, we went off-topic. A dragon has fire, and a witch has magic. Imagine how skilful a knight would need to be to defeat a dragonwitch.”
“Oh… Ooh, yes! Let’s defeat the dragonwitch!”
“Yeah!”
Thomas smiled as a watched the pair runoff on their imaginary quest. Perhaps being a peacemaker could be tyring, but it was still entertaining at times. Really, where else could he watch kids figure out how to understand each other and communicate their ideas.
He was pondering this when a light tug on his pants interrupted his thoughts. He looked down to find that the tugger was Logan Beri, one of his quieter charges. He had such a serious expression on his face that Thomas felt almost like he was looking at a small adult.
“Yes, Logan?”
“Janus is stealing my chess pieces.”
Thomas looked over to the other little boy who was sitting in his little black dress by the blue kiddie table. Janus Garter was not exactly a troublemaker per se, but if he got bored enough then he loved messing around with Logan. Thomas walked over to confront him, mentally praying that it wouldn’t take forever to get him to give up the chess pieces like last time.
“Janus, did you take Logan’s chess pieces?”
“No sir,” the boy replied with an innocent smile.
“Then what happened to them?”
“I don’t know. Maybe someone cast a spell on them, and they came to life.”
Logan scoffed. “Seeing as magic isn’t real, I highly doubt that.”
“If magic isn’t real, then where are your chess pieces?”
“Wherever you hid them.”
“Why I would never! How could you think such a thing of me, Logan?”
Logan glared daggers at him, and Thomas sighed. “Janus, I know you’re lying. If you admit to it, then I won’t tell your grandfather.”
Janus pouted. “No fair.”
“On the contrary, I think Mr Sanders is being more than fair.”
“Suck up.”
“Thief.”
“Boys.”
Janus took out the two knights and four pawns he’d been hiding under his leg and begrudgingly handed them over to Logan. The other young boy took them and returned to playing against himself. Thomas nodded in satisfaction and then went off to prepare the midday snack. In the kitchen, he found Patton Picani, another one of his charges, staring at the top of the fridge and talking to it?
“You know, I think we’d be great friends.”
“Pat? Who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know their name yet.”
“Oh,” Thomas looked over to the fridge and did a double-take when he realised there was a child lying on top of it.
It was Virgil Flores, the new kid/his neighbour. Virgil and his brother had moved in next door a week ago, and honestly, he hadn’t heard the boy talk since they’d met. He was a rather shy child, according to Nico, so it wasn’t surprising that he wasn’t talking back to Patton just yet. But when Nico had said he was a lot like a cat, then Thomas had never imagined this.
“How on earth did you even get up there?”
Virgil just blinked owlishly at him.
“Can I help you down?”
Virgil thought a moment, then nodded and moved into a better position to be picked up. Thomas carefully got him down from the fridge onto solid ground.
“Alright. I don’t think it’s safe for you to do that, so please don’t climb up there anymore?”
Virgil nodded.
“Can we play now?” Patton asked Virgil.
He looked hesitant and glanced over to Thomas as if asking if it was safe. Nico had said that he didn’t like playing with others he didn’t know. Thomas needed to think of something they could do to get to know one another. Something that wouldn’t involve much talking, if possible. Nico had mentioned Virgil liked helping with tasks…
“Or you two could help me with the afternoon snack?”
Virgil perked up at the offer and Patton clapped his hands excitedly. “Yay! We get to be chefs!”
After cooking with Virgil and Patton, Thomas went out to call all the kids over for snack time, and the twins requested that they could put on a show for everyone. Thomas let them and watched along with the children as Roman and Remus did a dramatic play about how they defeated the dragonwitch, who was played by Janus. Thomas was glad to see that he had found a pastime outside of tormenting poor Logan. He was also pleasantly surprised when Logan appeared in the play as the king whose kingdom the dragonwitch had been tormenting. It was kind of poetic, in a way.
By the end of the show, all the kids had gotten in on the fun as knights and warriors and dragonwitches. Even silent Virgil got a part as one of the best assassins in the kingdom with Patton as his best friend. Patton did seem to want to fight so he just said he would be Virgil’s best friend and Virgil protected him from the kids who had chosen to be antagonists. He was a brilliant little protector.
As Thomas sat there, watching the children play together in this fantasy setting they’d all built, he smiled to himself. There was nothing like seeing the spark of imagination in a child. It was so wonderful how fearlessly they faced the world with their games of make-believe. He felt proud to observe this moment in their lives. The playtime that they would look back on with fondness as they grew up into smart, talented young adults. They were all so different but that couldn’t matter any less here in their little world. The world of pretend that was still untainted by reality. It was beautiful.
So, yeah, sometimes Thomas’s job was difficult. But he loved it.
A/N; Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I also hope you know you're a lovely person and that you have a wonderful day further 💜
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meaningofmotorsport · 3 years
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Saudi Arabian Grand Prix Preview
We are now entering the final push for the season, and are at a brand new track, that was only completed a few hours before racing began today. It looks crazy fast, and could be dangerous too, I just hope we get through the weekend safely. In terms of whether we should race in Saudi Arabia at all, if we can make positive change here then yes, but if the country doesn’t change, then it isn’t a good look for F1!
On paper, due to the power requirements of this track, it looked to be a Mercedes track, also because you need a strong front end here, which they have. Hamilton should have the Brazil engine back in his car for Saturday, and although I doubt it will be as potent as it was then, there could still be a big gain from it! In practice they were quick, despite Max dominating the first half of FP1, it just seems the Mercedes took it easy to begin with, and were there when it mattered. I do think that Lewis has the best chance of winning this weekend, although Verstappen will not be far away from him. Bottas could be a dark horse too, not for the win, but to mess up Max’s rhythm possibly.
Red Bull desperately need to halt the momentum of their rivals, if they want to win the title, they can’t let Lewis keep winning. I know it is easier said than done, but they may even have to go bold on strategy to do so, especially with a high risk of the Safety Car on Sunday. It is funny, Verstappen is the one with the title lead, but he is not really in control of the championship in some ways. Their pace today wasn’t too bad, they were super-fast on the hard’s, and pretty good on the mediums, but like a lot of teams, couldn’t switch of the softs. That compound may be too soft for here, or it may just need optimising by the teams. Unless the team finds something overnight, they will likely be behind Mercedes, and may have to be clever in the race to get the win. Perez didn’t show much in practice, I just hope he is slowly building up to it, on a track which punishes the slightest error.
It was an OK day for Ferrari, with pace in the car, and we know how well they go on street circuits, so there is a great potential for them to get a lot of points this weekend. The downside though was that the day ended badly for the team, as Leclerc had a big crash at the corner, we all feared would claim some cars over the weekend, luckily it wasn’t horrible, but will mean a lot of work for the team overnight. McLaren was pretty anonymous all day to be honest, as we often find for them on a Friday, the constructors is pretty much done for them, but they will still want to end the year on a high.
AlphaTauri may have had the best day of any team out there, with both cars showing pace during the day, and being one of the teams to be able to switch on the softs to great effect. Gasly right now looks odds on to be best of the rest, which they need if they want to fight back at Alpine, and if Tsunoda can be there too, it will only help their effort. The unfortunate thing for AlphaTauri is that Alpine were up there too, as they continue with the pace they brought out of nowhere to the past few races. The gap may well close between those two teams by the end of the weekend, but maybe not by enough to have a true fight on our hands at Abu Dhabi.
Aston Martin were well down the order in FP2, maybe because they also couldn’t switch on the soft’s tyres, especially as tight street circuits have been good for them this year too. They could do better tomorrow then! Alfa Romeo aren’t quite as high up as we usually see them on a Friday, which suggests they are struggling too, as are Williams, which is sad to see on a tough weekend for the team.
I hope I am proved wrong, but I am fearing some issues in qualifying and race, due to the layout of the track. To be fair, it is a great track to watch cars go around, and could produce a great race, and has the potential to add more spice to the championship fight!
-M
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pebblysand · 4 years
Text
of tyres that blow (extended author’s note of chapter v. of castles)
- - TO READ THE CHAPTER ITSELF, CLICK HERE. - -
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Oh, what a month it has been. Well, a month and two days - I’m a bit late updating. I’ve had two good things happen, writing wise. 1) I got my first original short story published (!!!!) (you can read it here) and 2) I put out a little one-shot about Fleur Delacour that I’m super happy about and gave me an idea about a new series (more on that later this week, I hope. I might need help with prompts!). Regardless, this latest Irish lockdown is fucking endless and I sometimes wonder if this fic isn’t just an outlet for my feelings of lockdown-induced loneliness, apathy, but also a constant argument that I have with myself thinking: for the love of god, just pull yourself up, will you? You’re a Gryffindor, goddamn it. I certainly wish my fucked up sleeping patterns on no one, although I may or may have Mary-Sued that onto Harry, lol. (Spoiler alert: he’s scheduled to get some real sleep in next chapter. All bets are off regarding whether I will.)
This chapter was surprisingly easy to write (I basically vomited out chapters iv, v, and vi over the span of a week in December) but incredibly difficult to edit. For days, I just couldn’t concentrate, wrote and re-wrote and felt like everything was shite. Then, I realised it’d become this 19,000-words long monster so I had to cut a lot of shit out. We ended up with 15,898 words which I suppose is better? 
I do wonder: do people mind long chapters? Like, I know as fanfic reader, I personally prefer longer formats and rarely gravitate towards works that are less than 3,000 words. I love just getting buried into a story, into plots rather than single scenes. This being said, every time I write something that I deem too long (i.e. above 10k) I have these excruciating struggles where I wonder: should I cut it in half? should I leave it as is? I decided to split the last one. Then, I decided not to split this one because (you may notice this or not, I’m not sure) it’s kind of built a certain way, geared towards basically getting to the last two paragraphs. Like, when you get there, it’s a bit of an ah-ha moment, but I couldn’t get to that ah-ha moment without all the build up before it. It’s the accumulation of all of these little details that feel like they don’t matter. And as Harry says in the end, they don’t, in the grand scheme of things, but also they do. Like, everyday life doesn’t matter until you lose it. Then, it does, if that makes sense.
In terms of next update... I’ve decided to get my law licence transferred to France and the EU (it’s a long story), which means that I need to bloody, fucking study. The exams are at the end of March so my current plan is: hardcore study until the end of february. Mix study/writing in early march and hopefully get chapter vi out mid-March, then hardcore study until the end of March. Please, if you see me posting then, tell me off in the comments cause god, I really need to pass. Now, I will go have my traditional i-ve-put-a-chapter-out shot of limoncello and let you read the below :).
...spoilers for castles, chap v. under the cut -
I’ve done a lot of thinking about what this chapter is meant to be about. Obviously (I hope), every chapter has a point, in this story. Chapter 1 is about time (the way it passes and blurs when your mind’s a complete mess), chapter 2 is about hope, chapter 3 is about inevitability and the consequences of trauma, chapter 4 is about becoming an adult and growing into your own skin, etc. I think this one is about fear. How you feel it, and how you overcome it. Like, Harry takes a decision to stand up, fight, do the interview, regardless of the fact that he is scared (for his life, for that of the people he loves), and finds buried inside him a lot of the courage that he (felt) he lost, after the war. He learns to control his fear of the world by figuring out how apprehend it, through the training Giulia gives him, through learning how to kill, too. 
But, it’s also about fear in society. How the attack on Robards sets everyone on edge and how they keep going regardless. I initially wrote this chapter with the idea that it was going to be about speaking out and being brave, but obviously, fear and fighting against it is a huge part of that, too. 
Then, there’s Mia. Obviously, this fic is Harry/Ginny endgame but I do like the idea of Harry (and possibly Ginny as well) dating at least one other person, before officially tying the knot. Like, yes, Ginny is obviously coming back next chapter. She’ll probably own the second half of next chapter, if I’m honest, considering they’re obviously going to the burrow for christmas. I love Ginny, I’ve missed her and honestly, I can’t wait to bring her back. This being said, to be fair, I’ve kind of realised that this fic may actually be the first I ever write that isn’t strictly “shippy.” Like, yes, their relationship is a huge part of it (it’s a huge part of his life) and it will and was always going to be a huge part of this story but I think this fic is larger than that. It’s a result of my years-long obsession over: but what happens next? Over what “all was well” really means, in a general sense. How do they get to “nineteen years later” and beyond. But yeah, I’ve missed Ginny and I’m glad she’s on her way back to us now. 
Now, obviously. Giulia. I’m sorry. This was always going to happen. Well, almost always. I remember when I first wrote her in, she was a bit of a filler character. At the time, the thing with Mia was supposed to happen in last chapter and I actually had (have) much more backstory around her, than around Giulia. She and Harry were going to have proper conversations (will they ever, who knows?), really get to know each other. But then, Giulia came first narratively and shone through the page. I started writing her and she had this personality and life of her own and I couldn’t bring myself to curtail her. 
Now, we all know how it is: fanfics can only tolerate so many OCs. So, I had to choose between putting Mia at the forefront, or Giulia. I chose Jules. 
Then, in chapter 4, I wrote this: 
Her first lesson is to teach him how to drive the patrol car. ‘I don’t know why we use them,’ she explains, honest, and Harry vaguely wonders if he should be taking notes. ‘Reckon the Ministry saw them being used by Muggles, had to prove they could do better. They like making noise, the Ministry, don’t they? Lots of sirens and shite.’
Politely, Harry hides a chuckle behind a cough. He clearly doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t need to, that Giulia’s sarcastic sense of humour is one of the things that he’ll come to appreciate the most in this world, over the next few months. That the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget. That in the speech that he’ll give when he makes Head Auror, over a decade later, he’ll think of her and say: ‘Okay, let’s try to not just be sirens and shite, all right?’
This kind of tumbled out without me really thinking about it until I really looked at it and thought: fuck, why is he talking about her past tense, like that. Like “the sound of her voice is one he’ll try to never, ever forget.” Why would he forget it, though? And so, just like that, came her death sentence. For that, I apologise. It killed me too, and I cried when I wrote it in (especially when I wrote next chapter, actually, first time I ever made myself cry writing, if I’m honest) but it just needed to happen. It’s how Ginny and he get back together (I mean, obviously - is that even a spoil) because he’s grieving but she’s grown stronger and steady and she’s able to be there in a way that she wasn’t last summer. It did occur to me that god, all his mentors/father figures come to die, don’t they? But honestly, I kind of thing that his real mentor will be Robards, at the end of the day. She was just the one who allowed him to get back on his feet. 
One last note: I’ve been meaning to put this into the fic for ages but have never found the right moment to write it in. In the meantime, I’ll just say it here, because I don’t know if this has frustrated some of yous - I know it might have driven me mad. There is a logic to the Muggle/Wizard swearing/exclamations in the fic. Obviously, this is an adult fic so they swear normally, like eighteen-year-olds would in this (I decided that very early on), but also there’s “God”-s and “Merlin”-s and things like that. 
Now, I think that throughout this fic, although Harry hasn’t mentioned it yet (cause it never fucking fits anywhere) Hermione’s been having a sort of Muggle reckoning. She - in conscience - decides to start swearing/exclaiming “like a Muggle” after the war. If you notice, she only ever says “god”, never “Merlin.” Harry uses both interchangeably although he tends to use Merlin more when he thinks about wizard stuff, but God when he thinks about Muggle stuff (like when he’s with Mia). Ron only swears in “wizard” but I think he might start using Muggle expletives as well in the later chapters because of Hermione rubbing off on him. 
The fact that I even think about all that stuff is pathetic and I need to get a life. But that’s for another post, altogether. 
Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it :). 
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Stark Spangled Banner One Shot: You Can’t Kid a Kiddo
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Intro: It’s April Fools’ Day…and Tony is out to play. Avengers, beware!
Warnings: Bad language, very mild smut...no one gets naked.
Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark 
A/N:This is written for @wkemeup​ ‘s  4K Writing Challenge. My prompt was dialogue- “I take zero responsibility for this…”
This takes place in the Stark Spangled Banner timeline in April 2015 just before the events of AOU. Steve and my OFC (Katie Stark- Tony’s sister) have been together for 2 years ish and are engaged at this point as well. There’s also another Easter Egg in here for me to set up another One Shot I’m working on...
You don’t have to have read SSB to understand or enjoy this but feel free to check them out if you so wish. Stark Spangled Banner, and the prequel Stark Spangled Man can both be found here on my Masterlist.
Please re-blog and send me comments/thoughts. That’s my jam!
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Steve’s hands were hot on Katie’s hips, gently gripping her bare skin just above her underwear, the top she was wearing riding up slightly. Her bare thighs were straddling his as he gripped her neck, pulling her down for a searing kiss, grinding up against her, the TV programme was long forgotten.
“You know…” he said, pulling back slightly to look at her, one of his hands tangling in the hem of the plaid button down she’d stolen from him to sleep in, as usual “Captain America doesn’t approve of theft.” “Captain America is an ass hole.” she grinned back “Stevie is my favourite.”
He gave a chuckle and leaned back against the sofa cushions, looking at her for a second “How did I get so lucky?” he asked, reaching up to tuck her long hair behind her ears. She smiled at him, her cheeks slightly flushed.
“What’s brought this on?” she asked, her hands sliding up his chest, resting on his shoulders, fingers gently playing with the collar of his polo shirt.
“Nothing.” he said, “Just seeing you before, today, with that reporter, just reminded me about how fierce...” he pressed a kiss to her lips “and loyal…” another kiss “and downright sexy you are when you’re angry…”
“He was a dick.” she mumbled, against his lips, her eyes narrowing slightly as she pulled back to look at him, his fingers gently tracing the outside of her thighs “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t already launched the publicity campaign already…”
“Well it’s big news.” he smiled up at her.
“Of course it will, it’s Harlan Thrombey…” she shrugged “His books are huge!”
“Did you ever get to the bottom of why he’s reached out to SIP to run the next one when he has his own publishing company?” “Oh something to do with his Son annoying him and needing to be taught not to take things for granted.” Katie shrugged “I can ask him that in October when we meet him to go over the final edit and discuss the covers and stuff… but that’s by the by. That ass-hat reporter should have been at the press launch like everyone else, not trying to accost us when we went out for lunch. And what the fuck has whether we’ve set a wedding date got to do with it anyway? Nosey bastard.”
Steve chuckled at her rant and looked at her, his eyes shining. “We haven’t set one though.”
“Yeah well, we’ve kinda had a bit going on.” she said, “Maybe once all this business with the sceptre is sorted we can think about it.” Steve sighed “I know, it’s taking a little longer than we hoped.”
“Well it’s only the end of March.” she shrugged “I’ve always wanted a summer wedding so it’s not…”
She trailed off and Steve saw her eyes widen and her mouth dropped open as she looked at him. “Oh shit…”
“Kitten, what is it?” he frowned.
“It’s the 31st March…” she looked at him, swallowing. Steve felt the colour draining from his face "Crap." The reason for their horror was simple. Because, forget Christmas or Thanksgiving, April Fools’ Day was Tony Stark's favourite time of year, as his long suffering sister could testify. When she was a kid, Tony had done the usual stuff. Flour in her talc, washing up liquid in her shampoo, paper shapes of bugs (never spiders though, he wasn't that cruel) in lampshades so when she turned the lights on she'd think she had a huge cockroach in there, that type of stuff. But, as she matured so did the pranks. At one time whilst she had been at the tower for a meeting JARVIS sent her an alert that someone had slashed her tyres in the carpark. She had sprinted outside to see photos of Slash from Guns and Roses struck to the side of her tyres. Another year Tony had hacked her StarkPhone and Laptop and changed the language to Chinese. Of course she couldn't read fucking Chinese to change it back. When she found an agent in SHIELD who did and he reversed it for her, within 30 seconds it had flicked over to Russian. And when she fixed that it became Swedish and so on and so on... Steve had also been the butt of a few pranks since he had known Tony. In 2013 he had fallen for the old toothpaste Oreo trick when a box had arrived for him allegedly from the cookie company themselves after Steve had been papped eating a packet. That had nearly made him sick. And then last year there had been the none stop phone calls asking for Franklin. Every time it was someone different and Steve was getting more and more frustrated as to who exactly Franklin was and why people thought he was on his number. Then, as he and Katie had been on the sofa making out, he'd gotten one last call…
"Leave it..." she said, her hands in his face turning her back to look at him. He kissed her again, hands sliding up the side of her torso, grinding his crotch down onto hers making her purr with delight as her hands strayed to the buckle of his belt, soft fingers gently skimming his abs as she made to undo it, his tongue tangling ferociously with hers as he gave a soft moan of pleasure... But his phone was going again. Katie sighed as he dropped his head to her chest, mumbling a curse. "Unless that’s a Code Red, you can tell whoever it is to fuck off." she said with a frustrated growl, her head flopping back against the cushion as he reached over and answered it, still led over her. "Rogers..." he said sharply. It was another unknown number, but not an unknown voice. "Hi this is Frankin!" Tony greeted him Steve let out a growl of frustration as he realised he had been had. "Have there been..." pause as the inventor laughed "I'm sorry, have there been any calls for me?" "Tony I swear to god!" he spat through gritted teeth as the inventor cackled and hung up. "Your brother is a dick." he looked down at Katie, shaking his head. "Well yeah, I know that…" Katie looked up at her boyfriend "What did he just do?" "Those calls I’ve been getting all day. Asking for Franklin?" He looked at her and she nodded "it was him."
She paused and then let out a laugh “Ok, to be fair, that’s a pretty good one…” “I hate him.” he mumbled, dropping his head back to her chest.
She chuckled again, and ran her fingers through his hair. “Hey, Stevie…wanna get him back?" “How?” Steve queried, propping himself up on his elbows, looking at her.. “Call him...” she grinned, leaning up and nipping at his jaw line softly as he closed his eyes “Leave the phone on the table...” she bucked up under him, wriggling her hips, his trousers feeling uncomfortably tight  again “and let him listen to us make out”
Steve hadn’t done that, because, well frankly the thought of anyone listening to them wasn’t a great turn on in his books so Tony had gone another year of getting away with it.
Simply put, Tony was king of the pranks, and this year he had the entire team at the tower to torment. 
“We should warn the others…” Steve looked at her, and with a sigh she nodded. She untangled herself from him and straightened the legs on her denim shorts.
“JARVIS?” she asked.
“Yes Miss Stark…” “Where are the rest of the team?”
“Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are in the Common Room.” he spoke “Thor is in his quarters as is Mr Stark and Dr Banner is in the Lab…”
“I’ll text Nat, Clint and Banner.” she said, nodding “Can you go see Thor…he doesn’t have a phone and I’m not asking JARVIS to do it in case Tony catches on…” Steve nodded “Yeah, I’ll pop down and see him now.” Giving her a quick kiss he straightened his pants slightly and headed towards the hidden elevator, selecting the right floor. Thor and Clint shared one of the highest floors in the tower, both preferring to be higher up, closer to the roof but it was still below their’s. Exiting the elevator, he turned left and knocked on the door.
“Captain?” Thor answered and stepped back. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” “It’s not strictly pleasure I’m afraid Thor…” Steve sighed “I’m hear with a warning.” “A warning?” he frowned.
“Yeah, you got five minutes? It’s gonna take some explanation.”
***** Tony was giggling to himself as he put the final touches to the last of his pranks, before closing the door to the Lab and heading back to his floor. None of the team were up yet, it was ridiculously early, but the early bird catches the worm and all that. Fuck Killian and his second mouse bullshit. He had been toying with setting it all up the previous evening but he didn’t trust Kiddo and Spangles not to do some kind of recon mission before they went to bed. 
“What have you been doing?” Pepper mumbled to him as he walked back into their dark bedroom.
“Nothing…” he said, with a grin, leaning down to give her a peck.
“Bullshit.” Pepper mumbled against his lips. “It’s April Fools Day…” “Is it?” he said, innocently and she rolled her eyes “JARVIS?”
“Yes Sir?”
“Hey buddy, I need you to set up an alert for me for today. If anyone goes into my office, or the garage, or anywhere in the tower messing with my equipment I wanna know about it.”
“Of course Sir.”
Tony grinned as he headed into the bathroom for a shower. “Game on, Avengers...” 
Prank 1.
Steve was the first victim. He and Katie were making their way, cautiously, down to the large meeting room where they were all due to congregate to look over the plans of an abandoned British prison they suspected of being a Hydra base. They made sure to check round each corner before they walked round it, checking up high, low, everywhere.
But there was no avoiding this prank.
Steve pressed his palm to the Biometric Pad on the meeting room door and the pair of them gave a loud yell and a jump as their ears were assaulted by a sudden chorus.
“Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way? Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?”
“Oh for fucks sake…” Steve groaned as he pulled open the door, the song echoing through the PA system.
“Who will campaign door to door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane? The Star Spangled Man with a plan!”
Clint and Natasha were stood, poised at the table, both wearing identical looks of astonishment on their faces. They turned to Katie and Steve as they walked into the room, the song still playing.
“We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win! Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?”
“I’m assuming this means Cap is the first of us to fall victim to Stark?” Clint asked, his lips quirking into a smile.
“Who will indeed lead the call for America? Who'll rise or fall, give his all, for America?”
“Please tell me it isn’t going to go through a full rendition…” Steve sighed, dropping into a chair.
“Who's here to prove that we can? The Star Spangled Man with a plan!”
Silence. The 4 of them waited with bated breath, but thankfully it had stopped.
“Just the first two verses…” Katie said, sitting next to him. “Suppose we should be grateful.” “Kiddo, you’re as much of a sneak as Tony…” Clint looked at her, as Thor walked into the room. “How come you’ve never managed to get him back?”
“He’s too smart.” she sighed, “I’ve tried and tried before. It doesn’t help that he has JARVIS either, watch this…JARVIS?”
“Yes Miss Stark?”
“Has my brother got an alert going for you to warn him if we try and prank him?” “I couldn’t possibly comment Miss Stark, on whether or not your brother has an alert set up to warn him if you attempt to tamper with any of his equipment…”
Normally she would chuckle at the AIs tone but she was too frustrated with her brother and the seeming lack of loopholes in any of his instructions she could exploit. She leaned back in her chair and gave a huff “See?”
“I could just shock him with some lightning?” Thor suggested
“Think that’s a little harsh.” Steve sighed. 
“See if you still think that by the end of the day when every time you open a door that song starts.” Natasha looked at him.
“What, you think…” Steve looked at her and then gave a groan. “It’s not just gonna be the one door is it?”
_____
Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Of course it isn’t just one door…” _______
Prank 2.
Bruce was sincerely hoping that whatever inevitable prank Tony was going to pull on him that the Billionaire had been sensible enough not to shock him so far that the Hulk erupted. Bruce had a pretty good hold on him, so he wasn’t too worried but still, you never know.
He made it to his lab in one piece, opened the door and stopped dead.
In front of him on the floor, for about 2 metres square were cups of water. And they were positioned hat close together that there was no space for him to step over in any direction without them spilling all over the floor. Which meant he couldn’t get into the room. Had it been anyone else, they would probably have simply kicked them over, but not Bruce. He was always paranoid about the liquid seeping through the floors and down onto the machinery which looked after the Iron Legion. 
So if he was going to get into the lab, he was going to have to move them one cup at a time. 
“Damned you Tony!” he said with a loud, exasperated sigh “JARVIS? I need a bucket…”
_______
Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Good luck finding one Brucey…”
_______
Prank 3.
“I don’t think there’s much else to go on…” Steve sighed as the rest of the team finished looking over the plans “We need to get out there and do a recon really.“
“We prepping for another mission then, Cap?” Clint looked at him. Steve took a deep breath and nodded.
“I don’t think we have an alternative.” 
“Ok, well, if we get everything ready we can go at first light tomorrow.” Natasha suggested “I’ll get onto the British Authorities, let them know we’re planning on coming.” “Get Hill onto it” Katie suggested “She’ll go through the UN.”
With that an alert sounded on her phone and she looked down at it. “I gotta go take a conference call but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Steve nodded to her as she stood up and left the room. She made it to her office, safely and swung the door open, pausing just to make sure nothing fell from the door frame. She darted through, took a look round and everything seemed to be in order.
Suspecting Tony of most likely sabotaging her computer or screen, she sat down on her chair and a loud horn sounded causing her to scream and involuntarily he entire body jumped, and her chair toppled backwards. She went with it, arms and legs flailing and she hit the floor with a crash.
After taking a moment to sort herself out she stood up, and looked at the bottom of her chair. There was an Airhorn strapped to the main leg which mean as soon as she had sat down, it would push the handle causing it to sound.
“I know you’re watching this you fucker!” she yelled, spinning round to the CCTV camera and flicking it off “I hate you!”
_____ Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Nice fall Kiddo…”
_______
Prank 4.
Given that there was nothing else to do, Natasha decided to head to the gym, as she did every Tuesday morning, to practice Pilates. It was a routine she tried not to break as it helped her keep supple and relax. Katie sometimes joined her, and surprisingly so did Steve. He said it helped keep his mind clear. 
She knew that the routine made her an easy target for one of Stark’s pranks, but she was damned if he was going to catch her out. She was one of the world’s best spies, no way was he going to get her with some stupid, childish trick.
She entered the room and glanced up and around, checking the corners, you name it. Satisfied that no one was going to jump out at her, and even if they did, she’d floor them- more fool you, Stark, she leaned up against the bench and stretched her legs out.
“Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way? Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?”
She spun to see Steve shaking his head as he made his way into the room in his gym gear
“You joining me or hitting the bag?” she asked as they both tried to ignore the song as it continued ringing from the speakers.
“Joining you if that’s ok?” he said, “I went for a run this morning so…” “Sure.” she nodded, and as the song finally stopped they made their way to the store cupboards, picking out their mats. Natasha picked her favoured one, and lay it down on the floor.
As soon as she stepped on it there was a loud popping noise, like a gun going off, and she jumped backwards, dropping to the floor by instinct. 
“Nat…” Steve said, a smile tugging at his lips “It’s ok, it’s not a gun.” Angrily she stood up, stalked over to the mat and pulled it up off the floor. She examined it a little before she gave a snort.
“Bastard!” she exclaimed, slipping her hand into a small, almost invisible hole on the underside. She pulled out a tiny little firecracker, the type that kids used to throw on the floor in front of someone to make a loud bag. “He’s filled my mat with these!” 
______
Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Even Super Spies get fooled, Romanoff…”
_______
Prank 5 and 6.
Later that day the team met in the common room for lunch. Steve already had a headache from that damned song following him every time he opened a door, Katie was sporting quite a sore elbow after falling harshly on the floor, Bruce was pissed as it had taken him a good hour to get rid of the cups of water, and Natasha was seething at the fact she’d been caught out too.
“I don’t know how you’ve put up with it for your entire life.” Clint said to Katie as he opened the fridge, pulling out a can of his favoured Dr Pepper. He grabbed a glass and a few ice cubes, the way he always like his soda and walked over to where they were all sat on the sofas with various lunch items on the coffee table. He poured the soda into the glass and set it on the table.
“Yeah well, you better be careful.” Katie said “You too Thor, there’s no way he hasn’t set one up for you both.” “I am mighty Little Stark.” Thor grinned, nursing a plate of his favoured chocolate and sugar covered strawberries he had snaffled from a tray in the fridge “it will take more than…” “SHIT!” Clint exclaimed, and with a loud yell they all jumped back as the soda in his glass was exploding over the top with such veracity it was showering them all in the sticky drink. As Steve and Natasha headed to grab some paper towels, Katie marched over to the freezer and yanked out the ice dispenser tray.
“He’s put fucking Mentos in the ice cubes!” she said with a shake of her head. “Jesus Christ…” “You gotta hand it to him.” Bruce sighed, wiping his glasses off on his shirt 
“I’d like to hand it to him.” she mumbled, “with my fist closed.” Thor gave a chuckle and popped a strawberry in his mouth, before he gave a grimace, gagged and spat it back out onto the plate.
“That’s…” he stood up, nearly pushing Steve over in his attempt to get to the sink. 
Katie watched him as he grabbed a glass of water and filled it from the tap. 
“What...” Natasha looked at Bruce who was examining a piece of the fruit, holding it in front of his nose.
“Salt…” Thor mumbled as he rinsed his mouth out “It isn’t sugar, its salt. He put salt on my Chocolate Sugar Fruit!”
_____
Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Ice Ice baby... not so mighty after all Thunder God.”
_______
*******
“We have to get him back…” Natasha grumbled as they all sat in Katie and Steve’s apartment, having retreated to the relative safety as their living quarters were the one place there was no CCTV, and Katie had the authority to banish JARVIS from earwigging. (Tony had learnt that lesson one day after hearing something he really didn’t want to hear…)
“Believe me I’ve tried.” Katie sighed “And you heard J before, anyone tampers with his equipment and…” She stopped dead. That was it. That was the loophole. With a smirk she looked round the assembled faces. Steve arched an eyebrow at her, he knew that look very well.
“What you thinking?” he asked and she grinned at them all.
“Ok, listen up.” she said, leaning forward. “I have an idea...”
They listened attentively, Clint and Natasha sharing a grin as she outlined her plan whilst Thor slapped his thigh with glee. Steve leaned back in his chair and looked at Banner who was also smiling ear to ear.
“That might just work.” The Doctor said “It’s a pretty good loophole, and we have the stuff in the lab so…” “I’ll need a distraction.” Katie said, “something that’s gonna draw Tony out of his office for long enough for me to do it but…” “That’s easy.” Thor said, “I’m sure I can cause a good deal of noise in the Training Facility, break a few things with my hammer…”
“Fry something.” Steve said, looking round “If you do that then JARVIS won’t be able to fix it remotely, Tony’s gonna have to get his hands dirty.”
“You all know what you’re doing?” Katie grinned as everyone nodded. “Ok, Avengers, let’s do this…“
Operation Payback.
Tony heard the bang seconds before JARVIS spoke
“Mr Stark…”
“What the hell was that?”
“There’s been an incident in the Training Suite.”
“Course there has…” Tony rolled his eyes in exasperation at how stupid they thought he was. He wasn’t falling for a distraction like that. “Where is everyone?” “Miss Stark, Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are in the shooting range.” Jarvis informed them. Doctor Banner was in his lab, although it appears he is now making his way down to the Training Facility to find out what’s going on. Captain Rogers is already there as is Thor.”
“What’s the incident?”
“It appears Thor has struck the speakers and the access pad with a bolt of lightning.” JARVIS replied “I’m currently assessing the damage but as a result he is locked in. And he isn’t happy.” Tony gave an exasperated groan and pushed his chair from his desk. “Suppose I best go see if I can help…remember what I said, anyone comes in here and tampers with my equipment…” “Of course, Sir…”
When Tony arrived Thor was kicking the door to the training facility, waving his hammer irately.
“Thor!” Steve was stood by the glass, attempting to calm him down. “Don’t buddy, we’ll get you out of there…” “I can get myself out…” Thor blazed, raising his hand and Tony blanched at the fact Thor was threatening to send his hammer straight through the wall. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the walls and glass to get damaged but they’d only just had it replaced after Steve and Thor had been practicing using Steve’s shield and Mjolnir to cause an outwards blasting shockwave. 
“What’s going on?” Tony asked, and Steve spun to him shooting him a glare.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on…” Thor roared “That infernal song…”
His hammer crackled ominously again and Tony looked back to Steve.
“He was fed up of hearing Star Spangled Man With A Plan ringing out every goddamned time I opened a door.” Steve folded his arms “So he lost his temper. And I can’t say I blame him.” “We’ve talked about this.” Tony looked at Thor “You need to use your words buddy…” “Words, I’ll give you more than words, Stark!” Thor roared “Now get me out of here!”
“JARVIS?” Tony asked, looking at the pad on the door. “Damage report?”
“The Circuit is completely fried Sir.” JARVIS said “I cannot access or override, you will need to do it manually.”
“Great…” Tony mumbled “Let me just go get my tools from the lab.” Mumbling to himself he set off down the corridor and once he was gone, Thor grinned and tossed his hammer in the air as he gave Steve and Banner the thumbs up before he caught it expertly again in his right hand.
“Good job!” Steve nodded with a smile as he pulled his phone out and dialled Katie quickly. “You’re up.” 
****
It took Tony roughly 30 minutes to replace the wires and unlock the door. Thor stormed out, pushed him harshly in the chest before he left down the corridor.
“Guess they don’t have April Fools’ day on Asgard.” Tony mumbled, rubbing at the front of his shirt.
“To be honest Tony, it’s pretty annoying.” Bruce sighed “Can you at least turn it off now, I mean its almost 2 in the afternoon.” “Yeah I suppose…” Tony sighed, before he grinned “it was a pretty good one though, right.” “Hilarious.” Steve deadpanned, his hands falling to his belt buckle. Tony flashed him a grin and a shrug before he gathered up his tools and made his way back down the corridor.
“JAR?”
“Yes Sir.”
“Turn off Prank Spangles will you, before anyone else breaks more of my tower.”
“Right away Sir.” “And I’m assuming from the lack of contact no one’s been in my office tampering with my equipment?” “That’s correct sir.” “Today has been a good day.” Tony grinned to himself.
Once he was back in his office he sat down at his chair, and went through his emails quickly. He absentmindedly scratched at his beard, which felt a little dry to be honest. But he hadn’t oiled it since that morning. Reaching into his drawer he grabbed the small bottle, tipped a good amount onto his hand and spread it across the expertly groomed whiskers before he continued with his work. It took him a few hours but he cleared his inbox and then decided it was time to face the music. Heading down to the common room he found the rest of the team lounging in front of the TV. They were watching Kitchen Nightmares. 
“S’up Kids?” he asked and none of them looked at him. “Ok, alright, I know…sorry if I pranked you but if I buy takeout will that make you forgive me?”
No answer.
“Oh come on!” Tony said, crossing the room, sinking into a spare arm chair. “I’ll get Thai…"
The team exchanged glances before Bruce gave a sigh. He was always the one to cave first, the mild mannered Scientist found it hard to stay outwardly angry, which was ironic when anyone thought about it.
“To be fair, that trick with the water was pretty clever.” he shrugged.
“Yeah, and I suppose the salt strawberries were a little amusing.” Thor said, looking at Katie.
She shrugged, her feet resting in Steve’s lap as he was gently running his fingers up and down her calf.
“Oh come on Kiddo…”  Tony sighed, flopping onto an arm chair.  
“Payback’s a bitch…and so are you.”  she said simply, still not looking at him.
“You’ve never managed to get me back yet.” Tony snorted.
At that point he noticed that Natasha and Clint exchanging smirks. 
“What?”
“Nothing.” Clint said, shaking his head.
“I like your beard” Thor said, grinning “I have always admired how you keep it so neat and groomed. Maybe I should trim mine the same way.” Tony frowned. “Oh is this the part where you pin me down and shave it?” he rolled his eyes “You know I can call my suit to me in like 5 seconds flat.” “We know.” Steve said simply, looking at him. Tony’s frown deepened. The way the Captain’s blue eyes were shining with mirth made him uncomfortable.
He looked round as 6 pairs of eyes were all completely focussed on him now before Katie cracked up laughing.
“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t hold…” her laughter grew more and more as she threw her head back against the arm of the sofa “You look ridiculous…” Tony frowned and without a word stood up from the chair and made his way to the bar to glance in the mirrored surface between the shelves.
Oh. Holy. Jesus.
His goatee. His beautiful goatee...was blonde.
He spun round and the rest of the guys in the room cracked up laughing. Steve had his head thrown back, right hand clutching at his chest as Katie wiped tears from her face whilst Natasha doubled over on her seat. Besides her Clint slapped his thigh, his chuckles loud.
“What…how…” Tony spluttered, looking again at his reflection, before he glared back at the group.
“Slipped a little peroxide in your beard oil…” Katie managed to stutter between laughs, Thor’s loud rumbles continued, punctuated every now and then by a snort from Banner.
“JARVIS!” Tony roared “I told you to tell me if anyone went into my office, or the garage, or anywhere in the tower messing with my stuff…” "I take zero responsibility for this...sir” The AI responded “And I believe your instruction was to alert you if anyone entered your office or the garage or anywhere in the tower and messed with your equipment. Technically Miss Stark didn't touch your equipment, only your Male grooming product. I believe they exploited a loophole.” That made the group laugh even harder as Tony went bright red, spluttering obscenities at JARVIS. Eventually he calmed down and sighed, before he glanced at his sister.
“You know I’m almost proud…” he said, shaking his head. “Almost…”
Katie gave him a wink in response. “You know what they say…you can’t kid a kidder, or in this case Kiddo…”
Tony gave a groan which turned into a resigned chuckle. He could always dye it back...
Yes, April Fools’ day was still Tony Stark’s favourite time of year.
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kyogos · 5 years
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Ferrari era Vettel
Oo baby time to get JUICY - idk if you’re gonna believe me or not, but this is truly just looking at everything like I would for a driver I don’t care for. Please at least try to read it from an unbiased perspective before you @ me
Let’s start this with some straight FACTS. He is the number 1 and favoured driver, at least up until the start of this season, but we will get to that later. So really, the raw numbers are meaningless but on we go
2015 - Out scored Raikkonen by 128 points. Which obviously speak for themselves. He was favoured by the team which helped but achieved most of that gap on merit alone. (That and I genuinely remember nothing from this year)
2016 - Out scored Raikkonen by 26 points. A much closer gap than both he and the team would have wanted. Of course, Kimi is not the champion he once was but he is by no means a push over. He was and still is a strong fighter. I can’t think of a time where he was allowed to actually fight Vettel for position
2017 - Out scored Raikkonen by 112 points. A gap the team can be truly proud of. A much better season but still ultimately no title. Now lets talk that Baku race. Whether you’re a fan of his or not, we need to talk about this from an unbiased point of view. He drove into the side of another racer deliberately. And got away with it. This wasn’t a dangerous overtake or defensive move. It was a deliberate swerve under safety car conditions. He may have the points gap and the stats and records behind him. But I think that is pivotal moment in his career. (x)
2018 - Oh boy what a season. Out scored Raikkonen by 69 points. Close. Too close for comfort for the team. His season was all down hill after that crash in Germany. He was favoured by so many team calls from the very start of the season (ahem China anyone?). He made rookie errors, or at least, errors a 4 time world champion should not be making whilst racing for Ferrari. He wasn’t even a good team player. There’s a lot that went against him last year and it’s showing this year which moves us on
2019 - He’s currently 5th in the championship. FIFTH. 6 points behind young Leclerc and only just scores his first win in over a year. He is not a happy boy. He’s made mistakes and errors all over the shop, and has shown his disdain for not beating Leclerc. Canada talks. So does Spa. Italy. Singapore. - What does it say exactly? That his confidence is lacking. That he’t not as comfortable as he tries to seem in front of the media. 
Whether the penalty was fair or not isn’t the point, the point of Canada is he made the mistake that led to it. If you take away him getting the penalty, he still made that mistake. 
Spa? To the media he played the helpful team mate card but the reality is he just didn’t have the pace or tyres to win that race. Sure, he did hold off Hamilton but he was never in a position to win. 
Italy? He was so mad about not receiving a tow which under normal circumstances would be fair, but given the chaos I think he’s petty to lay the blame at Leclerc. If he had just gone for it and stuck close to Sainz when he went, he maybe just could have made the line and got a lap in. That session was a hot mess by the teams and drivers combined and I don’t think it’s fair for anyone one driver to get more blame than another. 
Singapore? Well qualifying he fucked his own lap with 3 mistakes. And he shouldn’t have made errors like that given his love and record on that track. And well, as for the race. Ferrari’s strategy helped him win that race instead of the Ferrari pole sitter. Sure, there were no direct “do not overtake Vettel” team orders, but anyone who’s been around long enough knows exactly what “bring the car home” means.
Sure, you all know I’m not Vettel’s biggest fan. But just look at the history objectively. He’s beaten team mates but always with the support and backing of the team. I can’t think of a time where the Ferrari drivers where allowed to truly battle it out for position. I mean, the whole reason he went to Ferrari was because he hated being beaten by his team mate at Red Bull. That was basically the clause in his contract. I know other drivers have had similar and having a favoured driver is normal (trust me, I know) but this feels like something else. This isn’t just normal team politics. I can’t even explain what this is because I honestly don’t think I can liken it to anything else I’ve ever seen. It’s like the team are afraid of being brutally honest with him and instead have to manufacture results and reasons as to why his team mate is beating him instead of just saying his team mate is quicker. 
~ Send me a team/driver for peak analysis on what I think of them + their history ~
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