#to seduce the literal grim reaper

[undermine-the-instinct]

YO, I GOT ENDING FIVE PEPLE, ;RINGS', AND THE SOUL BABIES ARE A GO!! LETS GOOOOOO!!!!

[chrofeisnightmaregf]

Here’s some late Halloween Tokyo Revengers head canons! There’s no specific timeline but I tried to focus on the final timeline but there are some mentions of others too! I lowkey wouldn’t mind doing a part 2

TW: mentions of drugs, violence, and swearing(lmk if I I missed any)

- Ran dresses up as ghost face and takes a bunch of thirst traps. He also walks around the house wearing black sweats and a ghost face mask and only puts a shirt on when it’s time to hand out candy or go somewhere(even then you have to force him too).

- Rindou makes BANK DJ-ing for Halloween parties this month. His clientele is usually rich frat boys spending their daddies money.

- Speaking of Rindou, you and him threw a small Halloween party with friends except you invited Ran, who in turn invited a bunch of people who invited more people so it just ended up being a huge party. Rindou complained to no end but secretly enjoyed getting to DJ the party and play whatever he wanted.

- Shinichiro is a literal GOD at hiding candy from Mikey when he wants to hand some out for trick or treaters because Mikey has and will eat all the candy that was bought for trick or treaters.

- Shinichiro later passed his tips on hiding it down to you when you told him how you spent so much money on candy for it to disappear repeatedly. You figured how it disappeared when Mikey was sitting on the couch with a half empty bag of the candy you kept buying.

- When the kids were younger Shinichiro used to dress them up in family costumes, you knew Shinichiro was serious about you when he asked if you wanted to join.

- Mikey steals everyone’s candy.

- Emma tried to dress up as a sexy nurse for Halloween one year and the boys refused to let her out of the house (queue you having to come over and give her an old costume so the boys would let her leave)

- Izana will never admit it but he secretly loves dressing up for Halloween. Him and Kakucho went as ninjas one year and it was the best Halloween of his life.

- Ran convinced Kakucho to dress up as ghost face and seduce you like Ran does(he showed him how he does it and everything) except Kakucho didn’t like how stuffy the mask was so he just walked around shirtless instead.

- Kakucho loves the domesticity of holidays. He feels so happy matching costumes or wearing Halloween sweaters with you while passing out candy. He loved admiring the kids costumes and watching Halloween movies with you.

- Kakucho prefers kid’s Halloween movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas or Halloween Town because he’s not a big fan of horror movies. They don’t scare him he just doesn’t find them interesting and the gorey ones gross him out.

- Hanma goes out dressed as the grim reaper and beats the shit out of people.

- Hanma also goes around wacking people with his scythe. He got a nasty glare from Kisaki and a slap in the face from you.

- Kisaki isn’t big on holidays, especially Halloween. There’s no particular reason he just doesn’t really care for them, he isn’t a kill joy however. And he does love to cuddle up on the couch and watch scary movies with you on the day of Halloween with a big bowl of candy planted between you too.

- He may not like holidays much but Kisaki does love the fall season. He especially loves the fall smelling candles like cinnamon, pumpkin, and apples and buys a bunch.

- You and Haruchiyo dress up as The Joker and Harley Quinn and win best costume to any party you guys go to(which isn’t a lot because I headcanon he doesn’t like parties much.)

- If it’s bonten time line and Sanzu is high, when people come and say trick or treat he will reply trick and either take candy out of their bags or cut the handle off there bag(and run off with it). You profusely apologize to parents and kids and give them handfuls of candy before socking him in the jaw and cutting his drugs off❤️❤️

- I wanted to say Hanma would do the same thing as Sanzu but I feel like he had a soft spot for kids and compliments all there costumes pointing out the most intricate details and saying how cool they look! The same can’t be said for the adult though, he goes out of his way to give the most backhanded comments possible.

- Draken and Inui(after convincing Shinichiro it would be fine) open the shop on Halloween wearing their uniforms and hand out candy. They even let kids in and show them the bikes they’re working on(with parental supervision obvi).

- Draken volunteers at a haunted house.

- He convicted the Toman founders to come because he could get them in for free and got the shit punched out of him by Baji when he jump scared him.

- Baji and his mom have a Halloween tradition to make home made sugar cookies and decorate them while watching Disney Halloween movies and later handing candy out to the trick or treaters.

- When they figure out what Kazutora is going through at home he gets a yearly invite(yes he cried when he first got invited).

- Takeomi feels really guilty about Sanzu’s childhood and how he treated him so every year he buys a bunch of Halloween costumes, candy and decorations and donates it to children in need. He likes to keep his porch light on as long as he can to make sure even the late trick or treaters get candy. He also volunteers at places too!

- Mitsuya makes all his own Halloween costumes. When his sisters were younger he made there costumes every year for them but when they got older they wanted store bought costumes instead. However if the girls can’t find one they like he makes there costumes for them(he was sad when they said they wanted store costumes and gets so excited when they can’t find one so he gets to make them).

- Mitsuya loves matching couples costumes but only if you let him make them. You guys went as Jack and Sally one year and he went all out. He hand stitched all the patterns into your dress and his suit and made all of it by hand.

- Mitsuya also used to make Taiju’s Halloween costumes but Taiju felt bad especially because Mitsuya wouldn’t let him pay him. After a while Taiju just started buying his costumes from the store but because of his build Mitsuya has to alter them anyway.

- Taiju and you dress up and volunteer to hand out candy at his church.

- No matter what costume he wears Hakkai always pulls it off.

- South never went trick or treating when he was a kid so you always make him go to every event possible like trunk or treat to try and recreate what he was missing.

- Much like Takeomi, South also donates a lot of candy and costumes to kids in need and loves to go around more poor neighborhoods giving out handfuls of full-sized candy bars to the kids.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4

Propaganda

Kravitz (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

Grim Reaper. So hot he managed to date Taako from TV

gotta be krav

Adelaide Tristé (Friends at the Table: Seasons of Hieron):

NO PROP FOR ADELAIDE??? Adelaide is literally the Queen of Death, she takes over being the GOD OF DEATH AND PSYCHOPOMP OF THE DEAD. She haunts the woman who killed her physical form and forced her into the aforementioned Queen of Death role. She FLIRTS WITH THE WOMAN WHO KILLED HER! Anyone who slept in her city for a night would take the city with them, spreading her influence over the world. She holds the power to allow people to truly die, or to force them back into life as undead. The woman who killed her took her to a magic city INSIDE OF HER SWORD and Adelaide's time there made her rethink how she ruled as Queen of Death and she decided to make an AFTERLIFE REALM TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO PREPARE FOR BEING RELEASED INTO NOTHING!!! She is That Bitch, she wears pearls and beautiful dresses and I'm pretty sure one time she tried to seduce Hella Veral by looping pearls around her. I will not stand for this, she is one of the BEST NPCs in Heiron

I'M SORRY DOES MY PROPAGANDA MEAN NOTHING TO YOU ALL THIS IS THE EMPRESS OF PEARLS! SHE IS IN A POLYAM RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MURDERER AND HER MURDERER'S THIEF ASSASSIN GIRLFRIEND WHO IS ALSO TATTED UP. ADELAIDE CAN FUCKING GET IT!!!

Adelaide Tristé, queen of death, empress of pearls, deserves the title of sexiest podcast character purely for the ephrim death scene in winter they had to cut, are you KIDDING me. Except then we also have another *three* seasons of her being magnificent and brilliant and scheming and also building a compassionate afterlife for the people of a very indifferent world.

Hella Varal (Friends at the Table: Seasons of Hieron):

brown lesbian with red hair and big sword. used to be evil but got better. one of her girlfriends is the queen of death who she killed. i'm bad at these she's hot though promise

Huge gal with a huge magic sword. Has TWO girlfriends.

big evil woman... she's in a polycule with Lesbian Saul Goodman and Death

Art of Adelaide and Hella made by @amaranthsynthesis.

[louvay]

Between Asafi, who will likely:

accidentally tear pants in public

slip over a banana peel

enter an abandoned building exactly because it says "keep out"

try to summon a demon

encounter a ghost

seduce the Grim Reaper in Sims

hack Lewyn's email

buy a drink for an entire pub just because they feel like it

collect 12345 knives

allergic to seafood

love spicy food

Honestly see them wearing more baggier/loose clothing so tears are less likely to happen but it’d be funny if the less athletic one was the one who tore his pants by accident so Arthur it is.

Fee because she doesn’t look carefully on the ground like her partner does for spare change.

Now while she is a proud, law abiding citizen, Fee wants to just take peek inside. Just a wee glance that somehow ends in her being stuck in the middle of the building all the while a demonic ritual is being performed by some loon.

Speaking of rituals, “fighting your inner demon” is an advice Arthur took literally and is thankful that Fee ignored the sign he put outside the building because some fights shouldn’t be fought alone.

The most common ghosts you’d encounter in Jugdral are of your relatives whom you dearly miss. It then makes sense that Fee would most likely see an apparition of her aunt and mother as well as of Queen Rahna but only near lakes. You can probably guess why Arthur won’t be seeing much ghosts anytime soon.

Why am I not surprised that you can do that in Sims Perhaps Fee would do that for the sake of bragging rights. She would also remove all ladders from the pool in hopes that her sims can finally learn how to get out of one without them (they drowned).

Arthur but only because Fee insisted on it and doesn’t know how to hack an email. Do not click on a link sent by sp00nybardd@gmail.com, it contains the worst of his albums.

“Let them drink ale!” spoke the compassionate princess as the rowdy attendants cheered. Though not yet officially a queen, she certainly was seen as one by the local drunkards who had begun referring to her as the “Pub Queen”.

Arthur. Gotta prepare well in times where magic is not everything and a bit of wetwork is needed in battle. Why 12345 knives? Well you ought to have one blade for each person you estimate to have to kill in war (It came to me in a dream with Sun Tzu in it).

Though allergic to seafood, Arthur still loves spicy food. Fee then thought that maybe he’d be able to eat spicy seafood during a family banquet. To her partner, the food was exquisite. What happened after… not so much.

[grace--fallen]

now that i have an actual blog for him now seems like a good time to post the song i wrote for samael :) this would have taken place during samael's realisation of heaven's hypocrisy and his decision to raise hell in a literal sense. lyrics under the cut.

Day in and day out, I follow my orders They come from above: to tempt His supporters A test of their love, how could they triumph? I send them to Hell for their defiance

They curse me and hate me, call me the Devil A burden I bear, it's something essential Or that's what He says when I start to doubt I'm beginning to think there's another way out

Why should I damn them if they've done no wrong? You sent me to entice them with my siren song You judge them for craving the touch of an angel Is that not the very definition of faithful?

I dared to question the direction He gave Now I am damned crawl amoungst the sinners that I've made!

King of the Wicked, Angel of Death Accuser, Seducer, Destroyer! These are the names that colour my past Well, I guess that it's time to embrace it! I can no longer resist it!

This is my nature: I am the Grim Reaper!

I'll take every soul who turns from Him Take them and train them to fight against Him For one day, just wait, I'll make it happen No longer will Hell be tormented by Heaven!

[selamat-linting]

okay, update on my sims legacy challenge

-shirley's childhood : the dad is dead, but things are pretty okay. simone still visit them as a ghost since i put his urn in a special graveyard at the house. she also, kinda has another dad later on. yeah, alondra's remarried, not the ghost of l. faba or even morgyn. but her new neighbor, tanaka

-it happened during a power conservation day. shirley was busy doing her homework while alondra made potions and dranked the good luck one. she had a visit by one of her neighbors called tanaka and he gave her a death flower. i was busy with shirley for ONE second, and when i get back they were already all over each other. gotta say it was pretty hardcore how he pulls over my admittedly hardcore witch founder by the grim reaper plant. i approve, sir.

-and then, since alondra was begging for one, i gave her a vacation with shirley in tow. unfortunately it was also new years', and shirley's birthday. ohh that was awful. and the worst thing is that, since things are going well, i havent felt the need to use the needs potion. my sim passed out on a bench several times just to make that holiday happen. alondra doesnt even know shirley's friends, she just put the party in a park and invited santa claus in hopes that shirley's too excited on meeting new kids and making a wish to santa to even notice that none of her friends are there. it worked.

-after the bday party, there was also the countdown. since shirley's a teen now, they both spent it at a bar. and alondra becomes a wreck. i got the notif that she was going to die soon. and she has been having sad moods in the background since her friends have been dying. but now she's mostly uncomfortable since as an elder she cant keep up with three events at once without potions. meanwhile she only needs to get more xp so she could have the virtuoso wizard rank to finish her magic aspiration. i literally dont know what else to do. she'd done dueling, experiment, everything! so, i realized, alondra never really unleashed a spell to strangers. its always items or other wizards and occasionally her daughter so she's not filled with grime and dirt. so in that entire night, while shirley talked with the locals, alondra let go all of her restraints and reputation as the good witch and cast infernio on everyone and everything. she almost hit her girl.

-after the holiday, her mood doesnt improve. Im now focused at shirley since she's the only heir so maybe thats why. she'd gotten everything she wanted but alondra is just, sad. she stopped cleaning the house, she's crying all the time and she's not even using potions. sometimes if the ghost of her lovers came she'd kiss them and feel a little better. but alondra is just a barely functioning sim now.

-anyway, about the love interest situation. its more amicable than i thought. somehow all of them still wanted to woohoo and accept flirting dialogues even if alondra had personally dumped and toyed with all three. tanaka, faba, and simeon practicallty take turns seducing alondra

-different than the mom, shirley's fate in romance is... difficult. she had a crush with a girl who likes to use the gym as well, and she has a friend who is oh so sad all the time. her crush is fucking mean. of all people, whyd she has a crush to the only person in school with a red relationship bar with her? my goodness! that girl was a huge asshole. she literally fight someone in the halls. babygirl you have the worst taste in women. your friend danielle is there!

-but danielle is like, sad all the time. every single day i use the "console about death" or "try to cheer up" on her and it doesnt seem to do anything. the fact that their teacher died on second day (IN FRONT OF THE CLASS) doesnt make it any easier. you cant have whirlwind teenage romcom if everyone is highly aware of their loved ones' mortality! (hello covid era graduates)

-so, her options for prom is limited. everyone rejects her advances, and while danielle agreed theyre both gonna go out with the other kids as friends, danielle still create her promposal signs. fearing that shirley's gonna be ditched, she made her own and do the lame and desperate option.

-but in the end. no one gets any bitches so they all attend prom as a good party between friends. shirley sweetheart danced with danielle at first but end up sweetheart dancing with this guy who is the cheer team captain. she doesnt hang out with her crush. she has her mom's tendency of intense partying. before this prom, she went to a college party, and with a miniscule amount of sleep she go through with pre-party, party, and afterparty. and then later in the day she had to do her birthday as well. she didnt even use plentiful needs potion

-so after thats done, lets go back to alondra. her heir is ready now. and even if she's gone, she can visit her in ghost form and her new fiancee is kinda like shirley's second dad. im planning her to do a hiking trail with him btw. and she's so miserably sad all the time. maybe its time to let go. so, thats what she did. at first, she prepped the house, cleaning it and fixing some ignored objects, doing the laundry and everything. and she went to the magic realm to buy wands and look for appropriate tomes for shirley to read later. then she cooks. food for shirley and potions for her AND shirley.

-this is where it gets fun. alondra, being the player that she is, wants to die in the bliss off woohoo, to finally die happy after months of sadness. so she dranked all of her good potions, get married, then invite her new husband in. no, i didnt bring her spouse into the household. It was meant to be a casual wedding where alondra just say her vows and spend the time joyfully eating and drinking, but the most miserable wedding ever. the only one who came other than her family is l faba's ghost. they dont even have cake. they end up cutting the event early after the essentials are done. and then when theyre home, tanaka doesnt even want to woohoo with her. simeon is too sad to woohoo even though he still has high romance bar with alondra. you are the most patient man ever.

-luckily, there's faba! and l. faba is the only one of her love interests who is willing to assist on her suicide by woohoo mission. they fucked. on the showers, on the bed, everywhere possible. and then right in the middle of woohooing, shirley got caught on fire. i really thought she was going to die right there on her mother's suicidal bender. she survived, luckily. and then alondra and l. faba get back on woohooing while shirley took a shower and replaced the burned furnitures. after a few consecutive successful woohoo (god this girl is fit!) alondra finally dies. god bless, my dearest founder. you were loved.

-on a side note, alondra's relationship with l. faba is wildly interesting. the first wizard she knows and the last she'll ever meet. alondra's married twice to other men but it was this woman who attend her wedding twice that spend the most time with her and finally carried alondra to her final resting place. but of course, she will be buried on the grave besides her first husband. not faba's.

[sgrumby]

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill: Avi, the Director, and, uh,” Taako says, “the red robe!”

He’s lying on Lup’s bed, his head hanging off the side and his feet up against the wall. She’s sat on the floor next to the bed, clutching the bottle of wine they’ve been working their way through.

Lup thinks for a moment and says, “kill... Avi.”

Taako chokes on thin air, and pulls his legs down from the wall so he can sit upright. “Kill Avi? Lup, what the fuck?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, this is a hard one!”

“How is it hard? The red robe is an evil spectre!” He says, indignant. “Plus, Avi’s pretty hot. I can’t believe you’d kill Avi. I’m telling him you said that.”

“Wha - the red robe is fucking sexy, Taako,” Lup tries to defend herself. “Did you see that guy? Wowzer.”

“Wha - Lup!” Taako snatches the bottle from her hand and takes a huge swig, trying to make the world make sense again. He gasps as he surfaces. “He’s - he’s just a cloak! He’s literally just fabric and bone!”

“Yeah, but, like,” Lup says, trying to find words to justify it. “Sexy bone.”

Taako shakes his head in disbelief. “Okay, so what you’re telling me is, you’d kill Avi, fuck the red robe and marry the Director?”

Lup thinks for a moment and shakes her head. “Kill Avi,” she says. “Fuck the Director. She’s hot, in a MILF kinda way. I’d marry the red robe.”

Taako stares at her. “Wha - but – he -”

Lup laughs as she realises she’s broken her brother. “I mean, his voice is kinda sexy, right? It’s all gravelly.”

Taako keeps staring. “Lup, I – I thought your crush on Barry Bluejeans in Phandalin was bad, but this – this is a whole new level.”

“What! The red robe is – he – I mean – he's a sexy motherfucker,” Lup says. “You’re telling me you didn’t think he was even a little attractive? I know you, Ko, you love goth shit.”

“Goth?! He’s bright red!”

“He’s dead! It doesn’t get more goth than that!”

The twins glare at each other. Taako blinks first. “Okay, I guess. He’s probably not got a dick though.”

“He’s definitely got a bone dick,” Lup says.

“There - there’s no bones in the dick, Lup,” Taako says.

“Oh, and you’re the dick expert now, huh? Anyway, my boy is made of magic, you think he can’t conjure up a dick?”

“Your boy?! Lup, this is an intervention.”

“Listen,” she says. “Listen. I could. I could seduce him. And learn all his secrets.”

“I can’t believe you think he’s sexy,” he says. “Evidently I got all the taste in the family.”

“You flirted with the grim reaper!”

“Who has a very handsome, not-bone face.”

“You didn’t know that! He was made of rock at the time!”

Their conversation descends into petty squabbling, and the red robe is forgotten. Eventually, they both fall asleep, wrapped around each other like when they were kids, but when Lup dreams she dreams of a man who turns to static when she wakes.

-

“Hey, madam D,” Lup says. “Me ‘n Ko got super drunk last night and had a great idea.”

“This is her idea,” Taako says. “I’ve got nothing to do with it.”

“Okay, Taako, bring it in,” Lup says, ignoring Taako’s interjection entirely.

Taako folds his arms and scowls. Lup scowls back at him, and they glare at each other until the Director clears her throat pointedly. Lup storms out of the room and carries in a projector and a laptop. She plugs the projector in, and aims it at one wall of the office. The projector’s light comes on, displaying the Fantasy Powerpoint logo. Lup clicks the mouse a few times, and her presentation starts.

“Why I should seduce the red robe: by Lup Taaco,” the title screen says. She clicks the mouse again, and an obnoxious star wipe transition changes the slide to say, “Pros: I can learn all his secrets and get dick from a sexy ghost. Cons: ???” Lup clicks once more, and the “End of slideshow” screen appears.

The Director blinks and opens her mouth to say something, but promptly shuts it again. She tries again, with the same result.

“You’ve been saying this whole time they’re like, a mysterious organisation, no one knows anything about them – this could be an opportunity!”

“I told her it was stupid,” Taako chimes in.

“No you didn’t! You just said you thought Avi was sexy.”

“No, right after that!” He protests. “I said, how are you gonna seduce a dickless ghost?”

“He was into me!” Lup says. “I could tell. Madam D, you weren’t there, and Taako won’t admit it because he wishes the sexy ghost was into him and not me -”

“I don’t wish that,” Taako deadpans.

“ - but he was totally into me. I could see it, uh, in his -”

“Yeah, Lup, go on,” Taako says. “Finish that sentence. Which defining feature of his screamed “I’m into you”? You could see it in his empty eye sockets, right? Or on his skeletal face?”

“Yeah,” Lup says. “That.”

The Director takes a minute. It looks like she’s trying to compose herself, taking some deep breaths, trying not to go absolutely apeshit at them.

“I can’t believe I’m having to explicitly spell this out for you,” she says. “Do not try to seduce the red robe.”

Lup nods. “Yes, ma’am. Received and understood.” She salutes, and spins on her heel to march to march out of her office.

The Director audibly sighs as they leave, placing her head in her hands. Taako follows Lup out, and as soon as the door closes, he leans on the wall, folds his arms, raises an eyebrow and says, “I’ve never heard you give in so easily.”

“I promised I wouldn’t try,” Lup says. “But in the immortal words of Fantasy Yoda: ‘Seduce or do not. There is no try.’”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“I’m paraphrasing. Anyway, what’s important is that the Director was totally on board.” She turns and walks away, grinning as she hears Taako sigh.

-

“I can’t believe I’m having to explicitly spell this out for you,” she says, although it’s not entirely true. This is wholly in-character. “Do not try to seduce the red robe.”

Lucretia had called herself long-suffering before she’d recruited her family. Now?

She sighs as the office door closes and spins in her chair, dispelling the magic over the portrait of herself. In its place, the painting of them all on the beach year appears, and she sighs, staring at her family. They’d been so happy.

Somehow, running from the annual apocalypse in a boat powered by love magic was a simpler time.

-

Avi stands, stock still, staring at them.

Merle steps forward and immediately slaps him, but Avi still doesn’t move. Taako slaps him too, but Avi stays stationary. Lup’s about to take a turn, when those now-familiar tones echo from behind her.

“Did you retrieve the cup?”

Lup’s eyes widen, and she turns to Taako.

“Cover for me for, like, one minute,” she hisses, and turns away.

“Yeah, m’dude, we totally got it,” Taako says, and the red robe turns to face him.

“And what did you change?”

“I changed... into something more comfortable,” Lup says, spinning back around. In those few seconds, she’s cast prestidigitation to clean up her makeup, undone the top couple of buttons on her sweater, and hiked her skirt up so it’s a lot shorter. She leans on the umbra staff and winks. “What’s up?”

The red robe does a double take. “Uh - excuse me?” He asks, in a voice suddenly not so raspy.

“Well, I just couldn’t help but notice – uh, your bone structure,” she says. “Very handsome, very dashing. And this fabric?” She grabs a hold of the robe. It crackles with magical energy and she yelps and snatches her hand back, sucking on her fingers quickly before continuing. “Is that Fantasy Prada?”

Taako looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust, but Merle and Magnus are going red in their desperation to contain their laughter.

“Uh, it’s - it’s a part of my body, I guess, technically,” he says. “In that, like, I’m a magical construct.”

Lup hums and nods. “Well, it really accentuates – uh, your bones. Which, again, I know I said this, but they’re very attractive bones. And I don’t just say that to any old skeleton.”

“Uh,” Somehow the red robe manages to look confused and intimidated, even with no face. “Lup, are you – are you hitting on me?”

She shrugs, flipping the umbrella over her shoulder. “Maybe. And if I was?”

“Well, I – uh, I’m flattered, but -” He backs away slowly as Lup advances on him. “Look, if I was in my flesh body, you know -”

“Oh, a flesh body, huh?” She says, turning to her brother. “Told you he’d have a dick, Taako. It’s just not attached to him right now.”

Magnus emits a high-pitched whine, even with his mouth clamped shut. Merle has already collapsed, slapping a hand over his face to keep from laughing.

“What?” The red robe says. “You - why were you talking about my dick?”

“I’m leaving! I’m calling a cannonball right now! I don’t want to listen to another fucking word of this!” Taako mashes the button on bracer, but there’s no response. Evidently, the red robe’s spell affects their tech, too. He groans and clamps his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes tight shut.

“Look, mister red robe, I just thought you might wanna,” Lup leans in conspiratorially, resting her weight on the umbra staff, which (very intentionally) has the added advantage of giving him a great view of her cleavage, “get some drinks? Tonight?”

The red robe looks away, and Lup digs it. She likes a man who’ll respect her modesty, even when she kinda doesn’t want him to. “Uh, I don’t - I can’t actually drink. It just, uh, goes straight through me. And I don’t mean that like, in the normal way, I mean it just drips out the bottom of my skull and makes a puddle on the ground.”

“Well, we could always just hang. You know. See the sights. Have a chat.”

“Uh, Lup, I don’t think -”

“Listen, honestly? I thought you were hot before my brother and my boss told me I wasn’t allowed to fuck you. And now? You’re absolutely scorching, okay? Plus, Taako’s gonna be so mad if I permanently out-goth him with an undead boyfriend.” She gives him her best puppy-dog eyes. She’s never met anyone who can resist those eyes, and she’s determined that this ghost isn’t gonna be the first. “Please?”

“Uh, okay,” he squeaks, in a very high-pitched voice for a scary ghost. “Where?”

Lup grins at Taako, mouthing, that’s how it’s done. “I’ll meet you outside Neverwinter? At eight?”

“Sure!” He says, sounding like he’d agree to pretty much anything to get out of this situation. “I’ll see you there bye!”

And he disappears in a column of flame.

Magnus and Merle immediately dissolve in laughter. Avi unfreezes, and blinks at them. “What? What?”

“I hope you boys were taking notes,” Lup says, a shit-eating grin on her face. “Cos I’m out here teaching a fucking masterclass.”

-

[Maybe follow me on tumblr or AO3 for more? ;)]

[y0d00p]

Demon AU post... Uh 3 I think

There's a less development on the heaven side of things because we like nasty little demon guys and corruption and shit too much lol. The main heavenly characters are Galacta (Gabriel) and Morpho (Abaddon).

Galacta is huge and dangerous and a hotshot celebrity angel and has a horrible temper. When he got in trouble with God for spending too much time with his demon bf he threw a tantrum that set off a volcanic explosion or something.

He does act as a messenger of sorts, frequently conveying messages to the other characters from God (they're tight), and while I thought it was funny if he wasnt actually a Battle Angel and was the patron saint of stamp collectors despite being super fuckin buff and aggro my partner (who plays him) retconned that and Galacta says that portrayal is a mistake/misunderstanding of some sort. Not sure what he does besides sending messages, probably does lazy patrols and beats up demons that venture onto the surface.

DMK (the incubus) decided he wanted to seduce a real ass angel one day and bet his buddies he could get Gabriel. He did this under the assumption that Gabriel was a mild mannered stamp angel and all his friends knew the truth but no one told him because they're demons and thought it'd be funny if he got beat up or whatever. Joke's on them because it totally worked and they ended up dating for a couple hundred years (they're immortal okay).

Galacta grew horns thanks to DMK's demonic influence so demon au Galacta is just a normal ass Galacta gijinka. His own inherent extreme holiness kept his transformation from ever going past that point. DMK in turn got a fucked up eye from Galacta's heavenly influence. It's fine he doesn't mind.

Side note: I adore dametagala, especially this version of them, for whatever reason they're just really fun and funny and good.

Morpho used to be a more standard high ranking angel by the name of Muriel but came into the job and title of Abaddon. My research on Abaddon was vague and sparse so in the au they're just a grim reaper esque figure that leads dead souls up or down wherever they need to go and makes sure that the people who go down stay down. They live alone in The Pit and they're pretty lonely and have seen a lot of sadness and death and almost everyone is scared of them but they're actually very nice.

Dedede is Daniel and acts as a sort of guardian angel to MK. He actually spends a lot of his time disguised as a human and is a friend of MK's. MK (for now) is completely ignorant to the fact that Dedede is an angel and truly believes that Dedede is just his Normal Friend he can go to to get away from his whacky life dating a demon and another angel. MK believes he needs to hide the weird supernatural shit in his life from Dedede and Dedede can't say anything because he's weirdly adamant about not revealing his true identity (antiquated rules or something?).

Dedede and Galacta are of course acquainted, basically coworkers, technically Morpho as well but Dedede and Galacta know each other better because Dedede is "assigned" to MK and Galacta is one of his bfs. Dedede does not like how careless and open Galacta is about being an angel and the fact that he's just fucking dating a human dude. He doesn't exactly scold him (especially since God was literally like it's fine whatever lol) but he frequently expresses his frustration with it.

Galacta and DMK keep encouraging him to just fess up like its fine dude it doesn't matter just tell him but Dedede refuses. Partially because rules or whatever mostly because he'd hate to shatter MK's illusion of having a normal human friend. Maybe he thinks he does a better job as a guardian from a more "hidden" role.

Other characters that are probably angels but we haven't given much thought to: Taranza, Shadow Marx, Ribbon, Fairy Queen, Bandana Dee

Also Marx may have been the son of God but he just decided like "im evil now" and that's why he's in hell with Magolor.

[miannedomusings]

Quick look at the folklore in A.C.E’s Favorite Boys

Because I can’t seem to help myself, I’ve done a little digging into all the lore that’s packed into A.C.E’s Favorite Boys, and the hints of the story I’ve uncovered are super cool! Maybe one day I’ll fully flesh this out, but for now I’m just gonna do a quick ramble on the imagery in the bridge.

So first we’ve got Donghun, who is either playing the role of a Jeoseung Saja or Yeomna in these shots. The Jeoseung Saja are the Korean equivalent of grim reapers, depicted wearing black robes and black gat (the hat), who deliver souls to Yeomna, the ruler of the afterworld and judger of souls . Bonus points for the death association coming from the butterflies around him which are probably a reference to Zhuangzi’s Butterfly Dream (i.e. where the album name comes from) which is often used to talk about the transition between life and death.  

Next we’ve got the princely Jun and Chan who show up right after the Jeoseung Saja in the same smokey abyss, with long hair and white (ish) robes. Seems pretty likely to me that these two are dead, and are representing chonggak gwishin (bachelor ghosts). They never married during life and so they remain as ghosts due to this unfinished business (I think their hairstyles also suggest that they are unmarried... but the research for this post is admittedly incomplete). 

One way to bring these ghosts to peace is to perform a ritual to marry them to another unmarried ghost. And doesn’t that just look exactly like raising two spirits from the ground (writhing with other souls) and bringing them together in some sort of union!  

As for how this links up with Korea’s mischievous goblins (dokkaebi), I’m not totally sure. I’ve seen a couple places that talk about one type of goblin (chonggak dokkaebi) attracting others together (like a matchmaker and fitting awesome with the bridge imagery), while other places define this type of goblin as simply being attractive to humans (fitting great with the rest of the song)...

Honestly, the imagery in the bridge almost feels like a threat -- fall for my goblin charms or you’ll cross over as an unfulfilled ghost. I see your parched yearning, it’s now or never, don’t hesitate. So then the reason they’re our favorite boys is because of some goblin trick they’re playing to seduce us. This also fits in with the unnerving vibes of the Opening Video with its talk of being captivated and bewitched (you know nothing), as well as the album name. Though Zhuangzi’s Butterfly Dream is often talked about in terms of life and death it is literally a story about not being able to tell dreams from reality. 

So maybe don’t trust your favorite boys...

[365days365movies]

March 11, 2021: The Seventh Seal (1957) (Part One)

Well, I did Cocteau this month already, so...time for another big boi director, I guess.

I’m sorry for me, too, because this one scares me a little more than Cocteau.

Ingmar Bergman. One of the greatest directors of all time, and the only prominent Swedish director that I’ve ever heard of. Also someone whom I’m DEFINITELY not qualified to judge, but here we are anyway.

Best known for Persona, Fanny and Alexander, and...one more movie, Bergman was an EXTREMELY prolific director, and far more influential on global film than you or I know. Seriously, dude influenced everyone from Martin Scorcese to Terry Jones to Peter Hewitt in one way or another. He’s passed away, as of 2007, at the age of 89. And speaking of Death...

There have been a LOT of incarnations of Death in media. Hell, we literally looked at one two movies ago, in Orpheus. You could argue that Ugetsu also revolved around death, but I’m talking about Death, the physical embodiment of the concept.

Now, the most common incarnation seen is the Grim Reaper (pictured above), but there are MANY other well-known versions. Here, have a few different versions, just for taste.

Yeah, that’s a lot. Kudos if you knew all of them! But that last one...I mentioned Peter Hewitt earlier. He directed Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, and in it, the two meet that films version of Death, a Swedish-accented ghoul. And if you’ve ever wondered about that, or about this joke from the opening song of Muppets: Most Wanted:

...Well, keep reading. Like I said, Bergman was influential, and perhaps NONE of his films was quite as influential as The Seventh Seal or Det sjunde ingelet. Welcome to a show about Death.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

ONCE AGAIN, The Criterion Collection logo brings us in, followed by the opening credits and music from that should accompany a Dark Souls boss, followed by a quote from Revelation 8:1-6, about the opening of the Seventh Seal. Roll credits?

Well, no. Instead, on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, we meet a knight, resting there and praying to God, as his horses drink from the salt water. This is Antonius Block (Max von Sydow), a knight who is resting here with his squire, Jöns (Gunnar Björnstrand). As Block takes out his chess set, he is joined by...

ALREADY?

Holy shit, I didn’t expect this scene to happen FOUR MINUTES IN??? Dear Lord, if this is happening now, what the hell is the rest of this movie? I am afraid of that answer now.

Anyway, yes, this is Death (Bengt Ekerot). And yeah, dude is indeed a CREEPY motherfucker. He’s been at Block’s side for a long time, but has now finally come for him, at last.

However, Block, ever clever knight that he is, capitalizes on rumors that he’s heard about the character, and challenges him to a game of chess. They start, with Block playing white and Death playing black.

But as they’re about to begin, we cut to Block and Jöns leaving the beach. Huh. OK then, I guess we’ll get back to that, huh? Jöns speaks of ill omens, and they see a pair of corpses, rotted after a long time dead. As their journey continues, we shift focus from them to a small group of actors in a caravan.

One of these actors - Jof (Nils Poppe) - sees a vision of a woman walking with her infant child, as angelic music plays in the background. He runs back to the caravan, where he wakes the sleeping Mia (Bibi Andersson), his wife. He tells her that this was the Virgin Mary and her baby boy, Jesus. Um...wow. Holy shit, my man.

Mia takes her husband’s vision as his active imagination, while he takes it as pure fact. Apparently, he’s very prone to having these kinds of visions. Mia warns him to tamp those visions down, or people will think him a fool. All of this rouses both fellow actor Jonas Skat (Erik Strandmark), and Jöns and Mia’s infant son Mikael (a cute chubby baby).

The troupe is on their way to Einsmore, performing for a group of priests. They will perform in a play about Death, once again making me think about Beetlejuice the Musical, which is really need to watch.

Block and Jöns arrive at a church, where real-world painter Albertus Pictor (Gunnar Olsson) is painting a Danse Macabre. Jöns asks why paint something so...well, macabre, and Pictor notes that it’s not a bad thing to remind people that they will die. This is especially as the Black Plague sweeps across Europe. YUP. IT’S THAT TIME PERIOD.

The two speak more on the absolute HORROR of the Bubonic Plague, a topic that clearly bothers Jöns. Meanwhile, Block goes to pray in a confessional, where he reveals that he doesn’t truly understand the point of prayer in this world. He’s clearly struggling with his faith, which must be HELL for a knight. And he delivers these confessions to his ever-present companion: Death.

Block wants God to speak to him directly, and questions whether or not God truly exists. He wants to do one last, meaningful thing before he meets his inevitable end. Block hasn’t yet realized that he’s speaking with Death, and openly talks about the chess game they began that morning. Death replies that they will continue their game in a nearby inn. This is how Block intends to prolong his own life.

He goes back out to meet Jöns, who’s still speaking with the painter, and the two leave the church. Directly outside, a woman is in the stocks, and is preparing to be burnt at the stake for learning carnal knowledge of Satan. She’s also being blamed for being the cause of the Black Plague itself. Just gotta say, big if true, goddamn. Black wants to know if she’s met the Devil himself, but she’s not quite all there.

Block and Jöns continue their journey, making their way from farmlands. Jöns goes into one of the barns in a village, where a dead body lies. He then hides as another man enters, and steals jewelry from the woman’s corpse. This is Raval (Bertil Anderberg), and he’s quickly caught in the act by a mute woman (Gunnel Lindblom).

However, before he can do anything to this poor girl, he’s stopped by Jöns, who recognizes him from the seminary, ten years prior. He tells him to shove off, and offers the mute woman a place as his housekeeper. And, uh...yeah, Jöns is kind of a dick, but more of a cad, y’know? He’s not likeable, but he also isn’t hateable.

In town, the actors’ troupe is performing, and the leader of the troupe - Skat - is seduced by a woman during the performance, and they have sex in the bushes behind the stage. As all of this is happening, the performance is interrupted by a group of flagellants, extremist priests that whip themselves and parade through the town, showing their extreme devotion to their faith. Fuckin’ yikes, this is a thing that ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

And as these people, devoted in their faith and pain, march through the town, the townspeople are moved to tears by this act. And this act has real blood, sweat, and tears poured into it. The head priest of the parade then gives a fatalist sermon to the townsfolk, noting that death will come for them all with the plague, and berating them for their seeming ignorance of their fate.

And dude is MEAN. He mocks people’s appearance, and screams to all of them that they’re doomed, and will die painful deaths. Watching on is not only the actors’ troupe, but also Block, Jöns, and the mute girl (yeah, she never gets a name, goddamn it). The pain parade moves on, singing their solemn hymns all the way. And I’m not gonna lie...it’s intense. Especially knowing that this shit actually HAPPENED? Damn.

Once they pass, Jöns notes his disbelief at this display, never believing how far people will go, or the stories that they’ll tell. He’s interrupted by blacksmith Plog (Åke Fridell), who’s looking for his wife. Meanwhile, inside, a group of townspeople talk about the spreading plague, and wonder if this is the end times indeed. Plog comes in and asks Jof where his wife is. He also doesn’t know, but it’s revealed that this is the woman that Skat ran off with in the bushes. The conversation is joined by thief Raval, who outs Jof as an actor, and a friend of Skat.

Raval and Plog both threaten him for information on Skat and Lisa’s whereabouts, and humiliate him in front of the entire tavern. It’s actually quite hard to watch as well. This poor, poor guy, who seems like a nice enough dude, is essentally tortured for the transgressions of his asshole friend. But it’s interrupted by Jöns, who stops Raval in his tracks, and slashes his face, which he said he’d do if he ever saw him again.

Excellent spot for Part 2, I think! See you there!

[avarice-inclined]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER .

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: emmett

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: i have an overall weird talent for mimicking character voices, but the most notable one is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON:   -✧ eyes, definitely, even though it’s a bit of an oxymoron because of how much i HATE making direct eye-contact in conversation, but i like eyes when i can look and the person isn’t looking directly at me -✧ how a person smiles is a big one, because happiness is really heckin beautiful and it’s even better if i know i’m the cause of a smile -✧ freckles. i absolutely love freckles, like, the more the merrier. it’s like having constellations on their skin, like the universe doused them in glitter idk, they’re just super pretty 

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: mac n cheese, esp if it’s nice and gooey with lots of melted cheese. i go absolutely ham for good mac n cheese lol

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: i don’t really care for beans of any sort. baked beans are an exception but, like, they gotta be the sweet kind. i hate sausage, in general, esp breakfast sausage because the smell just makes my stomach feel bleugh 

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: collecting stupid quarter machine figurines and writing complex, self-insert fanfiction in my head that never make it into written form because i am not brave enough to actually write any of that shit down lmao

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: leggings and a t-shirt, sometimes just a shirt and nothin else cuz i live in florida in a house with no central air and it’s HOT don’t judge

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: serious, but only because i’m not emotionally capable of flings and i have to get p close to someone for anything bedroom-related to come up, and if it’s gotten to that point i’m definitely already HELLA ATTACHED and probably already telling the person ‘love you’ in casual conversation

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: i honestly don’t know about this because, like, ideally i would have left my parents house way earlier than i did, or at least tried to assert my demand to be treated like a human being way earlier, but, then again, everything that’s happened in my life has led me to the point i’m at today and if things had gone just slightly different, i might not have met my husband, or i might not be as sure of my gender identity as i am now. so, like, even though a lot of things in my past REALLY SUCKED, there’s only a specific few things i might change but even then i’d be hesitant about it because i like how my life is now, even with all the shit i had to struggle through to get here.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: probably, yeah, i am def that touch-starved bitch who craves physical affection, be it platonic, romantic, or otherwise. i’m not down to hug or cuddle with a stranger but, like, if i’m friends with someone and know they’re cool with it, they’re gettin loved on

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: all of the LoTR/Hobbit movies, any Studio Ghibli film, the last unicorn, WOLF CHILDREN EVEN THO IT MAKES ME LITTLE-GIRL SOB EVERY TIME, Venom, Detective Pikachu, THE PRINCESS BRIDE

12. FAVORITE BOOK: island of the blue dolphins, the entire animorphs series, DRAGONRIDERS OF PERN SERIES, actually just about any book with dragons in it where the dragons are complex and not evil is absolutely my jam, the Abhorsen series, also the Hunger Games... i don’t really have one specific favorite book that’s literally impossible to decide lol

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: anything that isn’t a spider or a bug that can inflict bodily harm unto my person. i just really love all animals okay just gimme a farm house or a ranch so i can have ALL of my favorite animals in one place that’d be ideal. but if i had to pick just one i’d want my cat because she’s the best little girl and i’ve only had her for 4 days but i would die for this chaotic little ball of fluff you have no idea. i am incomplete without a cat at my side

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: (FMA) ed/winry or ed/ling, just let the kids be happy, (WITCHER) geralt/jaskier/yen, because geralt has two hands and both of them deserve to be held, (FMA) greed/not dying au’s, I JUST WANT MY BOY TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?, (ATLA) katara/zuko/aang, lemme have my loving polyam pairings, (ADVENTURE ZONE) taako/kravitz, because the bar doesn’t get much higher than seducing the grim reaper with threat of tentacles

15. PIE OR CAKE: i literally cannot choose between the two, i have favorites from both categories and i BAKE so that makes it even harder

16. FAVORITE SCENT: vanilla, peaches, and books

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: brendan urie or kiera knightley... also david tennant

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: new zealand, because i’m a nerd and that’s where LoTR was filmed, but i’d also like to go to japan

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: definitely an introvert

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: very much so, but i do still enjoy horror themes in movies and games, even if i can’t play most games myself and have to watch lets plays of them

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: i’ve only ever had android phones. the only apple device i ever had was an iPad but since i was only using it for art i don’t have much of an opinion on it beyond that lol

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: i’m currently playing the witcher 3, whichever final fantasy has Noctis in it- i don’t know what the number is because i have a hard time reading roman numerals, kingdom hearts 3, and animal crossing new leaf (if any of you also play i am welcome to giving out my friend code if you’re interested!)

23. DREAM JOB: making a living off my art, or even getting into video game design

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: pay off debt/overdue bills, finally get hormone therapy and top surgery, and get myself and my friends and chosen family into a better house and away from abusive situations

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: i don’t think there are any characters that i hate tbh, i might hate things that certain characters DO, but that’s not the same as hating the character itself. from a design perspective, though, Tingle from LOZ can fuck right off, actually. WAIT SCRATCH THAT. SHOU TUCKER CAN SWALLOW A CACTUS WHOLE. that is all. ahem.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: twi//light, until i realized just how gross smeyer was and how her writing is, objectively, not as great as everyone made it out to be

tagged by: stole this from @dolcetters tagging: if you wanna do it, go for it!

[emperorren]

Do you listen to What The Force podcast? They have this crazy weird but interesting theory that Palpy wants to marry Rey to control her and obtain power...And I don’t know what to feel about it because it’s such a weird thing to consider that Palpy is gonna be romantic rival lol But it could happen mainly because a lot of stories have this kind of trope...but Palpy?! I have mix feelings bcuz I dont even want Rey to entertain this idea at all. She can be tricked who knows. What are your thoughts?

Yes, I’ve listened to it! I joked on twitter that all I can picture now is this:

But seriously, I can say I’m definitely intrigued, and I don’t think it’s that crazy, though I’m not sold on the /romantic rival/ part. I don’t think it will be literal.

So this theory hinges on the trope of the “dark suitor”: usually some kind of demonic figure or evil magician archetype that tries to lure/force the maiden-heroine into a dark marriage to harness her power—or, in more prosaic stories, her resources. This is quite common in Disney and dark fairytales, particularly those that center on a female protagonist: Beetlejuice (as above), A series of unfortunate events, Legend, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beauty and the Beast to some extent (Gaston might not be an evil magician, but he’s a dark suitor nonetheless, someone who lusts after the heroine out of a desire to control her)—The Little Mermaid has a gender reversed version of this trope, with Ursula trying to marry Eric (a male proxy, in this case) to permanently steal Ariel’s magical voice and keep her as a slave. As the podcast put it, it’s not about a love triangle per se, but about controlling feminine power, often in a sexualized way. I think it’s important to note that the dark suitor trope differs from the more general “villainous crush” because the villain in question doesn’t have a genuine crush or feelings for the heroine, but tries to seduce her for his own personal gain, or because he’s simply evil personified, an inherently dark force that only exists to corrupt and enslave. In contrast, the real love interest is the one who lets the heroine go, learning to respect her freedom and giving up any attempt to control her (see: the Beast leaving Belle free).

Now, this is pure speculation based on an analysis of tropes and archetypes, but this time not based on canon material, merely on predictions of how those tropes could evolve, so I recommend taking it with a grain of salt. Our theories about the force bond or Reylo being reminiscent of Hades/Persephone, Beauty and the Beast, Bastila and Revan etc. were so strong because they had a lot of canon evidence or foreshadowing to rely on. (think of how many hints of the force bond were in the tfa novelization, or how much the cinematography screams “Hades” and “Grim Reaper” when Kylo comes on screen). Otoh, we have nothing in canon to predict what Palpatine’s role will be in relation to Rey, other than a brief glimpse of Dark!Rey from the sizzle reel and, well, Palpatine’s own track record with seducing people. We haven’t even seen a glimpse of Palpatine himself in this trilogy so far.

We have, of course, our understanding of the trilogy’s main themes and what they’re trying to accomplish as the final word on an entire saga. Namely, redemption, healing the wounded masculine through the feminine, and incorporating the former into the latter and vice versa, in a “divine” reconciliation of opposites (a wound opened by Anakin’s choking Padme and falling to the dark side via Palpatine’s orchestrations).

One thing that imo the Reylo fandom got completely right is that the Feminine—Rey’s femininity—is really crucial to this trilogy. Rey being a heroine defines and changes everything, from the nature of her heroic journey to her dynamic with the villain(s). So I think it’s definitely plausible—almost certain—that Palpatine will identify in her the ultimate bride apprentice to seduce, exploit & maybe subdue, PRECISELY bc she’s a woman (“Padmé reborn with the Force”) and NOT a Skywalker (a bloodline Palpatine has now a BAAAAD track record with). Whilst Snoke, who tried so hard and failed to be Palpatine like Kylo tries and fails to be Vader, targeted Kylo and ignored Rey, Palpatine will do the exact opposite, and try to get rid of Kylo (or maybe use him as a bait / cannon fodder / sacrificial lamb) to get to Rey. Because he knows where the real power resides. In essence, he’ll throw Ben/Padmé under the bus to secure Rey/Anakin’s powers.

(but exactly like Snoke before him, he will underestimate both Ben Solo and Rey, and his hubris will be his downfall)

My main issue with this is that I don’t think Rey’s weakness is her need for romantic love, so I find it unlikely that she’ll be tempted by a second romantic suitor. She longs for a belonging, for connection, yes. But Kylo offered her exactly that in the form of a romantic proposal, and she was able to turn him down. So why should she fall for Palpatine’s seduction, instead? Even if he manifests himself in the form of sexy Matt Smith? What does he have to offer, that Kylo does not? How can he seduce Rey when even Kylo, the man Rey falls in love with in TLJ, could not?

well,

unlike Kylo, Palps is incredibly good at manipulation. Kylo’s proposal was naked, blunt. Join me and together we will rule the galaxy. He said she was nothing but not to him, but that’s kindergarten manipulation compared to Palpatine’s skills (it’s not manipulation at all, actually, but that’s another issue). He didn’t try to blackmail her, bargain her surrender in exchange for her friends’ lives, offer to reunite her with her parents, offer her to resuscitate her parents, NOTHING. Hell, he actually tried to heal Rey’s conflict over her parents, forcing her to confront her suppression of her abandonment, accept it and MOVE ON. We been saying that a real Sith, on the other hand, would let the wound fester, and fester, and fester, and then strike, because an apprentice with a huge achilles’ heel is much easier to manipulate into the dark side. 

this “dark marriage proposal” might not be literal, but symbolical. The sexual symbolism of such a union might be hidden, disguised as something else—something Rey needs desperately, or thinks so. A father figure. Something Kylo repeatedly called her out on. 

Related to point 2: what if Kylo’s proposal failed because he explicitly presented himself as her equal (and potential mate, scaring the shit out of her, because she’s in the adolescence phase in TLJ and she’s confused by her sexuality, and still clinging to the childhood version of herself, see her *regression* in the last act of the movie), rather than as her… daddy? If not as her literal father, as an older, wiser, trustworthy, authoritative male figure that plays into Rey’s need for guidance and belonging. We thought she was over it by the end of TLJ, but what if she hasn’t fully processed it yet? 

Now enter Palpatine, the ultimate demonic figure in this entire story, with unparalleled skills in disguise and manipulation and vast experience in mentoring young, troubled apprentices with abandonment issues, either presenting himself as a seductive young(ish) man claiming to be able to bring Rey’s parents back / tell her the REAL truth about them, or literally pretending to be her father. Enter an Elektra complex, that would be a great counterpoint to the vastly documented oedipal subtext in Anakin and Ben’s narratives. Make it REALLY ambiguous as fuck. And here’s your “weird” story.

The nice thing about this theory is that it’s a subversion of the villain x heroine narrative we’ve been watching so far (and reviled for liking by the rest of the fandom). We thought Kylo was the Murderous Snake, the evil seductor, the dark suitor. And he was, but only because he’s Rey’s Shadow. In truth, he’s an angel in demon clothes. Underneath the monster, there’s the real Heroic Love Interest. He’s the darkness that Rey needs to incorporate and reconcile with; Palpatine is the darkness she needs to reject.

Another thing—whether or not this theory comes to fruition, I’m fairly certain there will be a moment where Palpatine, seemingly in control of Rey, urges her to kill Ben (remember that “kill him!” in the TFA novelization?). Because that’s what Palpatine does—he’s the Devil whispering in the Lovers’ ears, turning them against one another. But because this is reverse anidala, Rey will succeed where Anakin succumbed, and categorically reject to hurt her lover. The Lovers will be stronger than the Evil Magician this time.

[tailung]

oh i fired up sims 4 again to look at my dinobots house and its so funny.

- grimlock chooses to either hug or admire every time he interacts with someone without fail

- slug literally wont put on anything more than a speedo until he maxes out his violin skill

- sludge pays everyones bills and all he really does is come home and does his work before going to bed

- snarl is a bestselling kids author despite trying numerous times to kick off his fantasy series for adults to lukewarm (i.e bad) results

- slash is a straight-a student that always does extra credit? also shes best friends with misfire, who's probs her uncle now

- swoop successfully seduced the grim reaper in order to revive a dead person

this is neat.

[imriya]

K Drama List Part 2

Bc I have no life I have watched a lot of drama’s so here’s part 2. Part 1 will be linked HERE . So here’s part 2 reviews and all 

1. Doctor Stranger

Rating: N/A 

I was recommended this really highly but honestly I couldn’t sit through past 2 episodes. I was so disappointed especially because I love Lee Jong Suk. I definitely won’t even try to watch this again. I really could not get into it at all. 

2. Kill Me Heal Me 

Rating: 9/10

I WAS HOOKED FROM THE FIRST EPISODE! I highkey fell in love with every single personality and I just can’t! I still talk about this drama all the time! It was so different from any other drama I’ve watched and the acting was absolutely brilliant! The way each personality is portrayed and how everything comes together in the end...If I had emotions I would have cried throughout but because I’m dead inside I only teared which is still a big deal considering how only 3 drama’s have made me cry so far 

3. Because This is My First Life 

Rating: 9/10

I literally just finished watching this like two seconds ago! IT WAS AMAZING! The side characters and their romance was just as well developed as the main! Soo Ji is a frickin badass and I love her so much! The female relationships as well as the male ones were just brilliant! There was no ‘villain’ in this one like there is in typical dramas which made me happy. This drama will have you crying, laughing and squealing! 

4. 49 Days 

Rating: N/A 

I’m really disappointed. I heard really good things about this drama but I could barely sit through 2 episodes. I was cringing the whole way through. I would really only continue this because of the traveller but right now I can’t. I watched one episode and stopped for two days, having to hype myself up for the second. 

5. The K2

Rating: 3/10

Maybe I’m just having really bad luck with drama’s but I couldn’t get through this either.  Dont get me wrong, Ji Chang Wook was brilliant and the storyline is interesting too but god damn that female lead is so frickin annoying. I was so bored and done with her by the third episode. I just had to stop halfway through

6. Page Turner 

Rating: 8.8/10 

So, I binged this in one sitting. I’m not usually one for mini drama’s but after reading some recommendations I saw this one pop up in like 80% of it. BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE! It’s such a relatable and mature drama whiile also making you laugh and tugging on your heartstrings. If i had emotions I would be bawling! I honestly need like 2 days to just savour this before starting on any other drama. It’s amazing and so is the acting and the storyline I AM IN LOVE

7. Marriage Not Dating 

Rating: 6/10 

This started out really well and had some good development including all of the K Drama Tropes plus a shit load of slaps but kinda lost momentum half way through. It could have ended 3 episodes earlier but they kept dragging it on. I had my fair share of squealing and what not but then I got bored. 

8. Fated To Love You 

Rating: N/A 

Sigh... I really tried to stick it out with this one but I just couldn’t. The first two episodes were so cringy and everytime the dude laughed i seriously wanted to burst my eardrums. The female lead was really good but the storyline and the acting from the first male lead was just so bad I stopped halfway through episode 5. I heard the Taiwanese Drama was better than this one so watch the TDrama instead of this. 

9. Hwarang 

Rating: 7/10 

I’ll be honest, the only reason I started watching this was because of Kim Taehyung aka. V from BTS I know im a terrible human being BUT i stayed for the amazing bromance! I found myself looking forward to the bromance more than anything and anytime something bad happened to the guys I winced and almost teared up. The female lead for this started out really good but then got cliched and slightly annoying but no where near as annoying as the lead for K2 sooo yeah the bromance in this will never be beaten i swear

10. Oh My Ghost 

Rating: 6.5/10

It started off well and was incredibly interesting. I did put this off for a bit because i thought it would be scary and I’m honestly a wimp but save for one or two scenes the rest was alright and not scary at all. There is romance and mystery and comedy and one or two cringy scenes but other than that it was wow! The romance kinda overshadowed the mystery which for me was a little annoying but it was cute enough to let pass but it kinda goes at hyper-speed the last 3 episodes. 

11. I’m Not A Robot 

Rating: 8.9/10 

IF I HAD EMOTIONS I WOULD BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK RIGHT ABOUT NOW! OH LORD THIS DRAMA! okay so the reason it didn’t get a 9 and above is because I was expecting a lot more from the Aji 3 closing story but everything else was absolutely brilliant! The acting, the cute, the sad, the angry, the oh lord i wanna punch something, the squealing was just amazing! I had such high expectations for this drama and IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! This definitely goes in my top 10 list i just wished they did a little more for the tying up of the Robot’s storyline

12. Just Between Lovers 

Rating: 9/10 

OH MY HEART! This drama just proves that I seriously don’t have a tear duct because if I did I would be a sobbing wreck on the floor by now oh my lord where do I start?! So this drama is basically about an accident and how a shopping mall collapsed and it builds up from there with some flashbacks but wow I am so ASGSFKSGKF it made me laugh and almost cry especially the last two episodes oh lord This is deffo in my top 10 

13. Cinderella and the Four Knights 

Rating: 3/10 

God, I really tried to stick this one out because I heard such good things about it but after the 5th episode i just couldn’t. It was so repetitive and boring and just plain. Everytime that OST played I wanted to bang my head in. It’s so mindless. 

14. Emergency Couple 

Rating: 5.5/10 

It started out reallllly bad and i mean like properly bad even Thumping Spike 2 had a better start but I stuck with it and it was a cute drama, funny as well but I think the angst was played out too much. 

15. Ask Us Anything/ Knowing Brothers

Rating: 9/10 

Okay I know im cheating since this isnt like a drama but ITS SO FUNNY! Honestly the best time pass thing to watch ever! Its basically these 7 guys in a classroom setting just taking the piss out of famous people who come on their show omg i love it! It’s a weekly thing and i think they’re on season 3 or 4 but seriously hilarious 

16. The Moon Embracing The Sun 

Rating: 8.8/10

First of all MY HEART! Second of all THE CASTING OH MY LORD THE CASTING IS SO ON POINT! If you read my KDrama Rec List 1 you would know that Moon Lovers basically ruined all of the period dramas for me and Hwarang was the first period drama I watched after that but THIS ONE OH MY LORD THIS ONE! THE KIDS WERE AMAZING AND BRILLIANT AND BASICALLY GOT ME ADDICTED TO THIS DRAMA and dare I say it, even more amazing than the adults! Also like Hyung Sun is the real MVP. My heart is both full and broken at the same time. There was tearing but no tears. 

17. Eulachacha Waikiki / Laughter in Waikiki 

Rating: 9.5/10 

THIS SKYROCKETS ALL THE WAY TO MY TOP 5! I was waiting for this to finish so I could watch it and I had high expectations - IT MET EVERY SINGLE ONE! It was hilarious and had me on the floor the whole time! It also had romance and sadness and kinda reminded me of Fight For My Way in the group of friends growing together part. I absolutely loved it and if I didn’t have responsibilities I would have literally finished this in two days! All I’m going to say is - #ProtectDuShik2k18 

18. Chicago Typewriter 

Rating: 5/10 

I was recommended this by literally every single K Drama Rec that I saw but I just couldn’t get into it. After 5 episodes I was still kinda meh about it and was just watching it for the sake of watching it. The storyline of past lives and lovers and the switching of timelines was interesting no doubt but perhaps it just wasn’t for me.

19. Problematic Men 

Rating: 8/10 

Again, I know Im cheating ‘cause it’s not exactly a drama but more so a variety show but omg it’s so good! I started it because of Namjoon but I stayed for the rest of them! It’s basically these men who are really smart and they try to solve problems and puzzles and test their IQ, which i know sounds really boring but trust me it’s anything but! It’s hilarious and really challenging and like i was so determined to solve it myself as well. The first episode is really meh but i promise it gets so much better! 

20. Great Seducer 

Rating: 6/10 

I’m not going to lie, this started out so well! I absolutely loved the concepts and the characters and the character building but after episode 22 it just got SO REPETITVE and i was so bored. I just watched for the sake of watching and had to hype myself up for the next episodes. Soo Ji and Se Joo are an amazing side cast, way better than the leads if you ask me but it was an alright drama overall. It just wouldn’t be off the top of my head reccomendation if someone asked me what to watch 

21. The Liar and His Lover 

Rating: 3/10 

I think my bad luck streak with KDrama’s has started again. I got 4 episodes in and was already so damn annoyed. The female lead was crying for a good 90% of the whole drama. The male lead was whining and I wanted to punch the both of them. The OST and Chan Young was the only saving grace of this drama, well them and Crude Play. Those people are cuuuute. There kind of is a second lead syndrome but it’s not that bad.

22. The Universe’s Star 

Rating: 6/10 

I was recommended this by a friend who said it gave off Goblin vibes. It was cute but really cringy. Basically its about this fangirl who died and is now a grim reaper who is ‘protecting’ her favourite idol. The acting was amazing but... the lines were just cringy. 

[downwithwritersblock]

Monsters and Mythological Creatures

So, someone asked about monsters, and since I’ve been hoarding this long list of mythical beings for one of my own stories for the last like, three years, I decided to finally share it! This list is divided into categories for specific types of creatures. Each creature is accompanied by a definition or description, where it’s from, and other useful information.

Here we go:

SPIRITS AND GHOSTS: 

Arae(Greek Mythology): Female spirits of curses, particularly curses that are placed by the dead, on the person responsible for their death.

Banshee(Gaelic Lore): A female spirit who brings death to her victim by screeching or wailing. Often depicted wearing green or red robes, with hair being described as either orange, red or yellow to mimic the flicker of flames. Can appear as a young beautiful women, or an old and frightening ‘hag’

Black Dog/Hell Hounds: Usually depicted as large, ghostly looking black dogs that come from hell. Typically, they roam the streets at night looking for pray to drag back to hell or devour. 

Bogle(Gaelic Lore): A ghost like being whose sole purpose is to frighten and confuse humans and other creatures.

(El) Coco/  Cucuí (Typically Hispanic or Latin american Folklore) : A ghost like monster, much like the american boogeyman, used to strike fear into children. The description changes among different cultures. Sometimes described as ghosts with pumpkin heads, as large rattling skeletons, a female humanoid alligator like creature, or even a dragon like creature. (as a child, I imagined them more like skeleton ghosts) 

 Demons : Malevolent spirits from Hell 

Fox Spirits (Popular among Asian Folklore) : The Fox Spirit or the Nine Tailed Fox is a common spirit among east Asian cultures, usually depicted as a familiar with great magic power. They are often devious or mischievous, with a bad habit of tricking people. Usually, they are also capable of shape shifting into beautiful women. They can be a good, or a bad omen. Known as the  húli jīng (fox spirit) in China, the kitsune (fox) in Japan, and the kumiho (nine-tailed fox) in Korea.

Gashadokuro(Japanese Mythology): Spirits of people who died of starvation or in battle, and did not receive a proper burial. They take the form of massive skeletons, apparently 15 times taller then the average human. They roam the world after midnight, capturing lone travelers, and biting off their heads to drink their blood. They are said to be invisible and invincible. Though they can be warded off with  Shinto charms, and it’s said you can sense their presence if you hear a loud ringing in your ear. 

Ghosts: Spirits of the undead that are trapped in the world of the living. Often resemble what they looked like alive, can be good, bad or neutral. 

Grim Reaper: The Physical embodiment of death, arrives to take your soul to the after life. 

Hulder or Huldra (Scandanvian Folklore) : Beautiful, seductive, female forest spirits that are primarily human with the exception of having a cows tail. Apparently come from beneath the earth, sometimes claimed to be a forgotten child of adam and eve. They are known as coal kindles, they would watch the fires of travelers while they slept, and ensure they would not go out. Males of this species are said to be hideous, with grotesquely long noses. 

Ifrit (Middle Eastern): A death spirit believed to be drawn in by the life force or blood of the murdered. They tend to be fiery in nature(literally), and are said to either take the form of the deceased they were attracted to, or the form of Satan himself. Can be good or evil or neutral, but mainly considered to be malevolent, vengeful, evil, ruthless, or wicked. 

Ittan-momen (Japanese Mythology): Now, this one sounds pretty harmless, but do not be fooled. Ittan-Momen is a sentient roll of cotton that flies through the air at night, and attacks and kills people by smothering them. 

Incubus: No, I do not mean the Rock Band. An Incubus is a male demon that lies upon it’s victim, and supposedly steals their life force by having repeated sex with them. Their female counterpart is called a succubus. 

Jinn (Arabian and Islamic mythology and theology) : Jinn, or more popularly known in western culture; the Genie, is a powerful spirit with free will, and thus can be good, evil, or neutral. Usually depicted with no spiritual form, or as humans with different animal parts, or as shadowy ghosts. Jinn play many different roles in different cultures. They are often seen as living in a parallel world to the human world. 

Keres (Greek Mythology) : Daughters of the goddess Nyx, spirits of violent or unpeaceful death. 

Kobalos (Greek Mythology) : Depicted as small, mischievous creatures that took to messing with people. They often pranked, frightened, or stole from people. In myth, they stole from Heracles while he slept. In one version, he gives them away as a present to the Lydian Queen. In another version, he forgives them, and lets them off the hook simply because he finds them amusing.  Greek myths depict the kobaloi as "impudent, thieving, droll, idle, mischievous, gnome-dwarfs", and as "funny, little triksy elves" of a phallic nature. So they’re essentially annoying yet sort of funny gnome/elf/dwarves that resemble erect penises. Isnt mythology fun. 

La Llorona aka The Weeping Women (Popular in northern and southern american folklore) : Usually the Ghost of either a women who was scorned by a man, and now she hunts for other awful men. Or, the Ghost of a women who cries as she searches for her dead children. The most traditional or typical story tells of a women who drowns her children in the river out of spite when her husband leaves her for a younger women. After realizing her children are dead, and she can not find them, she drowns herself as well. In the after life, she is not permitted to move onto heaven. Her soul will not be able to find peace until she finds her children, and thus she is doomed to wander the earth in search of them. In some stories, she will take lone children that resemble her own, and drown them in the river so they can take her children's place. 

Lamia(Greek Mythology) : A beautiful queen of Lybia. It’s said that she was a mistress of Zues. In one version, Zues’ Jealous wife Hera steals all of Lamias children, and turns her into a demon that hunts and devours others children. Other versions say that Hera killed all of Lamias children, and driven by the grief and suffering of her loss, goes insane, and starts stealing and eating others children out of envy. The repeated horrid act turns her into a monster. There is also a myth that Hera forced her to eat her own children, then cursed her to never be able to close her eyes, so that the image of her children's death will forever haunt her. Zues later grants her the ability to remove her eyes to appease her grief. In some descriptions, she has serpent like features, or the lower half of a snake. In others, her face is distorted. No matter the story however, it’s Hera’s fault. 

Lares (Roman Mythology) : House hold or guardian spirits that each family traditionally has around their grounds. Statues of domestic Lares were typically placed at the table for family meals. Their presence and worship seemed to be very important. 

Mare(Germanic or slavic Folklore) : a Ghost/ Spirirt or Goblin that sits on the chest of sleeping victims, and forces nightmares upon them. Other legends depict them as beautiful women that go into the dreams of men and seduce them before killing them. I personally prefer the sitting goblins. 

Neck or Nokken (Germanic and Scandinavian Folklore) : Water Spirits usually depicted as a a shadowy monster lurking in the water, it’s eyes just above the surface. Other times, it’s described as a beautiful young man playing the fiddle or violin while resting in the water. Their enchanting songs drew women, men and children to them. Sometimes they are said to be peaceful, and will simply play for the humans, or possibly even move into the home of one who has fallen in love with them (though they often do not stay long), and sometimes they are said to lure people to their death with their beautiful song. Don’t know about you, but I would totally take a cute guy playing the violin underneath a water fall over a creepy water submerged shadow, any day. 

Nymph (Greek Mythology) : Minor Nature Gods or spirits that tend to animate nature, and are viewed as beautiful, and free young (typically) women. There are several different types of Nymphs; Celestial Nymphs, Land Nymphs, Wood or Forest Nymphs, Plant/Flower Nymphs, Water Nymphs, and Underworld Nymphs. The most common are Dryads, that are Nymphs of the trees. Naiads, which are fresh Water Nymphs(ponds, fountains, springs, etc), and Auras which are basically air nymphs, or breezes. 

Poltergeist: (German for Noisy Spirit or Noisy Ghost) A Ghost that is capable of physicaly capable of sitrubing the human world. They are known for hitting, biting, pinching, scratching and tripping humans. They are also known for moving or levitating objects, and making loud knocking sounds. 

Sprites: Elemental, fairy like beings that are invisible to humans. Can be good or evil or neutral. Sylphs are sprites dedicate solely to the element of Air. 

Tikoloshe (Zulu Mythology) : A goblin, or dwarf like water spirit that can become invisible by drinking water. It is regarded as mischievous and evil. They can be called upon to cause trouble or to harm others. Best case scenario, they scare kids. Worst case scenario, they can bring you serious illness or even death. It’s usually described as a gremlin like demon with gauged out eyes. 

HALF HUMAN/ HUMANOID CREATURES: 

Aeternae: Creatures who supposedly attacked Alexander the Great, and killed many of his men with their bony, saw like protuberances that came from their head. 

Asanbosam (West African Folklore) : Hairy, ogre like vampiric creatures with iron teeth and iron hooks for feet. They live in the trees, and attack their victims from above. 

Adze (Ewe Folklore) : Another vampire like being in the form of a firefly, but will transform into a human if captured. In human form, they will possess people. People who are possessed are thought to be witches, and the people around the possessed with be affected negatively. As a firefly, they can phase through doors, and will suck the blood of sleeping people. The victims will eventually fall ill and die. 

Bisimbi Bi Masa (African Folklore) : Water Nymphs that reside in the Congo. They’re described as beautiful and seductive spirits that live in natural watery areas. They are known to cause awful skin diseases, which only their own haunting cries can cure. Which is weirdly twisted and cool? 

Brownies(Scottish FolkLore): Small, humanoid like creatures that sneak into peoples houses at night to do chores in exchange for their favorite foods. They will stop tending to a house if the owner misues them, or if their gifts of food are instead called payment. 

Changeling: A fairy infant left in the place of a human infant that was kidnapped by fairies. 

Centaur (Greek Mythology) : Upper half of a man, lower half of a horse. Wild and free creatures, that tend to be good in nature. The most popular is Chiron, who was refered to as the wisest and most just of all centaurs. He trained the some of the most famous greek Heroes, such as; Achilles, Jason, Perseus, Theseus, Ajax, and some stories portray him training Heracles as well. There are several different types of Centaurs;  Ichthyocentaurs, which are centaurs who have the tails of fish, Winged Centaurs, Onocentaur which has the bottom half of a donkey, rather then a horse,  Cyprian Centaurs, which are bull-horned centaurs,  Lamian Centaurs, which had Ox horns. 

Cyclops(Greek Mythology) : Giant One eyed humanoid monsters that typically captured and ate people. Legend says no one was able to escape or hurt them. 

Dwarf: A Short, stocky, scraggly looking humanoids that typically live underground in mining communities. 

Elf: A race of humanoid creatures who typically have pointy ears, and excel in magic. 

Empusa (Greek Mythology) : A demigod or monster that drinks the blood and eating the flesh of sleeping men. They are depicted with flaming hair, and are said to have one bronze leg, and one leg of a donkey. 

Erinyes or Furies (Greek Mythology) : Female deities of vengeance, there are typically three of them;  Alecto or Alekto ("endless"), Megaera ("jealous rage"), and Tisiphone or Tilphousia ("vengeful destruction"). They are depicted in several different ways. Sometime they are said to have snakes for hair, or dogs heads in place of human heads. Sometimes their skin or eyes are said to be as black as coal, and sometimes they are portrayed with bat wings. Their victims die in torture, and they are more ancient then most of the Olympian gods themselves. 

Fairy: Humanoids with great magical abilities. Legends and myths about fairies vary greatly from culture to culture. They are not always good. They have free will, and are often mischievous. Never trust a fairy. 

Futakuchi-onna (Japanese Mythology) : A women with two mouths. One where it normally should be, and a second, fully functioning mouth on the back of her head, beneath her hair. It’s said that the hair parts, and the skull splits open into a mouth, and demands food. If it is not fed, it will shriek, and cause the women awful pain. This myth is apparently derived from ‘how little women eat’. 

Gegenees (Greek Mythology) : Six Armed Giants

Gnome :  A small, humanoid creature who lives and moves beneath the earth. I once had a whole book on gnomes, and this thing was written like they were observing some kind of animal?? Like they talked about Gnomes like they were real creatures and I was entirely shook. Did you know Gnomes only gave birth to twins? Cause I didnt. There was a whole section on the sex lives and birthing system of gnomes. I’ll never unsee that section. I gave the book to my friend, cause I’m 99% sure she’s a gnome. Never piss off a Gnome. 

Goblin : A  grotesque, troublesome little creature with a strong greed for gold and jewels. Very Mischievous. Goblin is probably still one of my favorite words. Say it ten times, really fast, do it. 

Golem(Jewish Folklore) : A humanoid(ish) like creature made from clay, mud, or stone that is magically animated. 

Gorgon (Greek Mythology) : The snake haired (and sometimes snake-bodied) women who could turn people to stone just by looking at them. The most Famous being Medusa. 

Graeae (Greek Mythology) : Three old women who shared one tooth and one eye among them. They took turn using it. In mythology, Perseus held their eye for ransom until they told him the whereabouts of the items he needed to kill Medusa. 

Harpies( Greek Mythology) : Half bird, half human, embodiment of storm winds. They typically swooped down and dragged away (bad) humans, and carried them to their punishment. 

Hecatoncheires (Greek Mythology); Because those guys with the six arms just arent enough, let me introduce you to Hecatoncheires, aka the hundred handed ones. That’s right. One Hundred Hands. They also have fifty heads, and have unimaginable strength. Thankfully, there are only three of these guys. 

Hobgoblin : A type of Brownie who is inherently less helpful and more mischievous, even to the point of causing harm if antagonized.

Imp : Small, mischievous creatures who liked to play pranks on people.

Jorōgumo (Japanese Mythology): A spirit that can shape-shift into a beautiful women. Often Depicted as being half pretty lady, half terrifying spider. She’s sometimes shown controlling small, fire breathing spiders. This is the thing of my nightmares; a hot lady who turns into a partial spider, that controls other, smaller spiders that breath fire. Because pretty girls arent intimidating enough, you gotta go and mix them with spiders, right?

Manticore ( Persian Folklore) : Head of a human, body of a lion, tail of a poisonous porcupine, or a scorpion. 

Mermaids  and Sirens : Sea creatures with the head and torso of a woman and the tail of a fish. Sometimes good, sometimes evil. The evil ones are known for (sometimes singing) and luring sailors to their deaths, and dragging them down to the bottom of the ocean to devour them. 

Minotaur  (Greek Mythology): The creature with the head and legs of a bull and the torso of a man, who guarded the exit to The Labyrinth.

Moirai (Greek Mythology): The Fates. There are three of them, typically seen in white robes, and are the incarnation of Destiny. They control the thread of life for everything. They ensured the birth, life, and death of everything. Every being was at their control. 

Ogre : An ugly, oversized humanoid creature with great physical strength and little intelligence. No shrek jokes, please, None. 

Orc : A large, ugly humanoid similar to Goblins. They tend to be evil, brutish, aggressive and repulsive monsters. Though they are based off many other mythical beings, Orcs stem more from J.R.R Tolkeins books, and rise in fantasy games like Dungeons and Dragons and World of Warcraft. 

Penanggalan (South East Asian FolkLore) : a detached female head that fly's about on its own. As it flies, the stomach and entrails dangle below it, which apparently are apparently hit by the night light in such a way that makes them appear like fireflies.. During the day, it appears as a normal, human women. It’s said to usually be caused by witchcraft of pacts with demons. 

Pixie :  A small humanoid creature with pointy ears who likes to cause mischief.

Sasquatch : Large, hairy, man-like beasts that live in the woods. Types of Sasquatch include Bigfoot, and the Yeti. 

Satyr :Half-men, half-goats who were wild, lustful, and all around fun. The god Pan was one of these. Pan was the god of the wild, and apparently liked to scare the crap out of people in the forest, and that’s where the word panic comes from. 

Scorpion Man : They have another name, but it’s way long, and I can’t find it right now. But they’re men who have the head and torso of a human, and the lower half of a scorpion. They are featured in the Babylonian version of The Epic of Gilgamesh. 

Shapeshifters :Humans who can willingly take the form of any animal. Honestly, the idea of shape-shifting has always weirded me out. Because honestly, it sounds painful. Like, if you shape shift into something much smaller and structurally different then you, say, a bird for example, where do your bones go? Like, i figure some of your bones shrink or stretch with you to fit the animal, but some animals don’t have the exact same amount of bones as humans, so like, where do the bones go?? I’ve been asking this since I was like then, I have received no answers. I am concerned. 

Sirens : Man-eating beautiful women whose song compels men to them. Not always mermaid like creatures. Sometimes depicted as fully human, or as partially bird like. 

Sphinx(Greek Mythology) : The half-human, half-lion that forces those it meets to answer its     riddles, or die. In the story of Oedipus, the riddle it gives is “What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three in the evening?” the answer to which is Humans. As we crawl on all fours as infants, on two legs for most of our lives, and with a cane in our old age. 

Valkyries (Norse Mythology) : female divinities who choose people who died a heroic death in battle, and then guide them to Valhalla. 

Vampire: Probably one of the most famous of monsters. The undead human like creature that drinks the blood of the living.

 Wendigo/ Windigo ( Algonquian folklore) : A monster or spirit that is associated with Cannibalism, murder, and greed.  They are often seen as either Humans turned into monsters by their sins, or humans that are possessed by evil spirits. Wendigos are associated with winter, wilderness, cold, cannibalism, greed, murder, famine, and starvation. They are often depicted with human, deer, or tree like features to imitate the wilderness. 

WereWolf: Yet another Classic. A human being who transforms into a wolf, or a wolf-human hybrid creature either by night, or by the full moon. 

Wraith(Scottish/ Gaelic folklore): Evil Spirits who can not pass on, and torment the living. Usually depicted as Shadow like figures.  

Zombies: The animated undead, rotting corpses who consume the flesh of the living. 

ANIMAL AND BEAST LIKE MONSTERS: 

Airavata (Hindu Mythology) : The Mythical white elephant that carries the Hindu God Indrua. It is said to be spotless white, have five trunks and ten tusks.

Basilisk : A legendary reptile who could kill a man with its stare, it’s said to be hatched by a chicken from a reptilian egg. 

Bake-kujira (Japanese mythology) : The ghostly skeleton of a dead whale that surfaces the water. It’s said that it’s presence brings a curse to either the area it’s seen, or to anyone who spots it. 

Catoblepas (Greek Mythology/Ethiopia) : A creature from Ethiopia, resembling that of a buffalo or a wilder beast. It’s always looking downward, because it’s head is too heavy. In some descriptions, it’s gaze could kill you, and in others, it only ate poison vegetation, that made it’s breath poisonous as well. 

Cerastes (Greek Mythology) : A serpant so flexible, it had no spine. It’s depicted as either having two large ram horns, or as having four small horns. It’s said to hide in the sand, with only it’s horns peeking through the surface, waiting for unsuspecting Prey to approach it. 

Chupacabra (Latin American Folk Lore) : A monster known for feeding off of livestock, especially goats. It’s name translates to ‘Goat Sucker’. The two most common descriptions of El Chupacabre are that of a strange wild dog that is mainly hairless, with a prominent spinal ridge, sunken in eyes, and large fangs and claws. The other descriptions shows it as a large reptilian creature with leathery or scaly green/gray skin, and sharp porcupine like needles going down it’s spine.  Unlike most predators, El Chupacabre drains it’s pray off their blood, and sometimes their organs, rather then eating the flesh. 

Cerberus(Greek Mythology) :The three-headed dog that guards the entrance to Hades. It’s name is supposedly derived from the greek word for ‘Spotted’ or ‘Spot’. The capturing of Cerberus is claimed to be the final, and most difficult task of Heracles 12 trials. 

Chimera (Greek Mythology): A monstrous hybrid that was Part-lion, part-goat, part-snake. In some descriptions, it has the head of all three, in others, it has the head of the lion and the goat, the lions body with the goat hooves, and a snake for a tail. In another description, it might be the head of one, the body of another, and the tail of the other. It’s really one big game of mix and match. Sometimes they also breath fire or have wings. 

Cockatrice :A flying creature that is part-rooster and part snake that could supposedly kill with it’s stare. It’s said to be hatched by a reptile from a chickens egg. Pretty much the opposite of the Basilisk. 

Dragon : Giant, flying, fire-breathing reptiles that are known for stealing and hording treasure. There are many, many different types of dragons that range from culture to culture. I could probably make a whole different post, just on the different types of dragons. 

Griffin  : A creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. Sometimes, it also has the tail of a snake. Griffins are popular among several different cultural mythologies. 

Hippalectryon (Greek Mythology) : An odd hybrid of a horse and a chicken. It’s front half is the horse, its back half is the chicken, including tail and wings. There is no solid idea of why such a myth exists. Some say it’s a creature of Poseidon, and meant to protect ships, others say it’s just a grotesque hybrid to amuse children. Some say it’s a pointless creature with no real purpose other then for decoration. Why else would someone make a rooster horse? 

Hippocampus (Greek Mythology) : A sea creature with the upper body of a horse, and the lower body of  a fish. So, it is yet another odd horse hybrid from greek mythology. 

Hippogriff (Greek Mythology): Because there’s no such thing as too many weird horse hybrids, meet the Hippogriff. Which has the front half and wings on an eagle, and the back half of a horse. 

Huallepen (South American Folklore): A weird creature that lurks in lakes and ponds. It has the body of a (usually hairless) sheep, the head of a calf, and the twisted feet of a seal. It only comes out at night, and it’s said that if a pregnant women sees one, her child will come out with a muzzle and twisted limbs. 

  Hydra (Greek Mythology) : The giant nine-headed serpent who grew two new heads for every one that was cut of. The task of killing this beast was given to Heracles during his twelve trials. The only way to kill it, without it’s head growing back, was to smash the heads, and then catch them on fire. 

Ladon (Greek Mythology)  : The large snake like dragon that wrapped itself around the tree of golden apples in the garden of the Hesperides. Apparently slain by Heracles. 

Isonade (Japanese Mythology) : An enormous, shark like sea monster that hides beneath the waves in the oceans of Japan. It’s massive hook like tail and it’s fins are covered in sharp barbs. 

Nemean Lion (Greek Mythology) : The giant lion with impenetrable hide. This creature is killed by Heracles during his twelve trials, he later wears the skin of the creature as an indestructible cloak. 

Kamaitachi (Japanese Mythology) : Also known as the sickle weasels. These mischievous creatures are thought of as either wind spirits, or spirits that ride in on dust devils. They slash as people with their long, sickle like nails. 

Kappa (Japanese Mythology) : Typically means ‘River Child’, these creatures are demons or imps that reside in the fresh water. They are often described as having a pool of water above their hand, that reflects their habitat and their own life force and their power. They are said to be about the size of a child, and somewhat human like in figure, with reptile like scales, a shell,  a beak, and webbed hands and feet. They are usually either green, yellow or blue. Kappa are used to warn children about the dangerous of wandering near the water alone, as legends say the creatures will lure people to water before dragging them in and drowning them. They’re also said to peak up women's skirts, play pranks on human, attack humans, and even eat human flesh. All around, probably safe to stay away from Kappas. 

Kraken (Norse Mythology) : A famous gigantic sea monster that’s known for attacking and sinking ships. It’s often depicted as a massive octopus or squid, sometimes with terribly sharp teeth. 

Orthros (Greek Mythology) : The lesser known, but probably just as adorable, monster sibling to Cerberus. Orthros is the dog with two heads, instead of three like it’s more famous sibling. It guards the giant Geryon ‘s cattle. 

Odontotyrannos: A beast that supposedly killed or incapacitated many of Alexander the Greats men.  it had a black, horse-like head, with three horns protruding from its forehead, and  it exceeded the size of an elephant. Locals apparently called this beat the ‘Tooth-Tyrant’

Ophiotaurus (Greek Mythology) : The Cow Serpent.  So the Greeks gave horses a rest, and made up this thing, which has the upper body of a black bull, and the tail of a serpent. It’s said that whoever could kill this beast and sacrificially burn it’s entrails would gain the power to destroy Olympus and it’s gods. 

Pegasus: The Winged Horse. 

Phoenix :The golden bird who, at the end of its life, burst into flames only to be reborn again from it’s own ashes.

Thunderbird : The giant bird that creates storms by flapping it’s wings. 

Tikbalang (Philippines Folklore) :  A tall, bony humanoid creature with the head and hooves of a horse and disproportionately long limbs, to the point that its knees reach above its head when it squats. It’s said to lurk in the forests and mountains of the Philippines. They like to scare or play tricks on travelers. They can apparently be avoided by wearing your shirt inside out, verbally asking for passage, or being as quite as possible so as not to disturb them. 

Unicorn: A magical Horse with a single horn protruding from it’s forehead. 

Uchchaihshravas (Hindu Mythology) : A snow white, flying horse with seven heads. It’s said to be the best, or the king of horses. 

Yacumama (South American Folklore) : A massive sea serpent believed to live in the mouth of the Amazon river, and near by lagoons. It would apparently suck up and devour anything with in a hundred passes of it. Local natives would blow a large conch shell before entering the water, believing the sound would force the monster to show itself if it was present.

That’s all I’ve got! I hope you liked it, and I hope people find it useful, because honestly, this thing took wayyyyy more time then I thought It would! 

If anyone would like to add on any creatures I missed, or if you’d like to add something to any of the creatures that are already on the list, feel free too! 

Note: I’ve gone ahead and edited, and added a couple new creatures from African Mythology that someone recommended! 

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: What Comes After (12/18)

Summary: Dead Like Me AU. After Belle French loses her life in an accident, she finds out that she has been recruited to join the ranks of the Grim Reapers, helping souls pass on. It’s a huge upheaval to deal with, but her fellow reapers are there to help her out, especially head reaper Gold.

Who says you can’t find love after life?

Rated: E for Explicit. 

Please note that the rating has gone up from previous chapters!

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [AO3]

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Twelve

Belle would admit to feeling a little bit giddy as well as a little bit nervous, and she wondered how much of her nervousness and giddiness was down to the weather. Summer had finally come to Storybrooke, and with the increased heat had come an increased sense of liberation and lowered inhibitions.

She had been astonished when she’d walked into the diner that morning in the middle of her rounds in order to collect her post-its for the day and had seen Gold not only not wearing his jacket, but also not wearing his tie or waistcoat. Even as the weather had been getting steadily warmer over the past couple of months, she had never seen him looking anything less than immaculate in his three-piece suit and tie in public. She’d seen him without his jacket when he was in the back room of the shop, or when he was in his own home, but she’d never seen him wearing this few layers.

For a while she had been working on the principle that perhaps, having been dead for as long as he had, the outside temperature of the world didn’t affect him, but since all of the other reapers, herself included, had been complaining about the heat for the past week, she’d come to the conclusion that he was just strange.

Now though, he had proved that he was just as human as the rest of them.

“Darling!” Ella exclaimed as she came in. “Whatever has come over you? You’re practically naked!”

This rather loud statement attracted the attention of everyone in the diner, and Gold sighed, rubbing his forehead and holding out Ella’s post-it for her.

“Thank you, Ella, for that wonderful start to the morning,” he said. “We’re not at all inconspicuous now.”

“Gold, we sit here every morning discussing death and receiving cryptic post-it notes; we couldn’t be more suspicious if we tried,” Ella said happily, squeezing into the booth next to David, who was trying very hard not to laugh at her antics, knowing that Gold wouldn’t appreciate it. Belle, on the other hand, focussed intently on her fruit salad and refused to meet the eyes of anyone else around the table. The idea of Gold being practically naked was one that she’d been revisiting an awful lot over the last couple of months of their being together, and now that the weather was warmer, and her blood was warmer with it, she found herself revisiting it even more frequently, usually in the dead of night in the company of her vibrator.

Tonight, though, Belle thought that perhaps heady daydreams might finally become reality. Gold had invited her over for dinner, which was not in and of itself an invitation for something more. They had both cooked for each other on several occasions over the last few weeks of their relationship, and whilst there was usually kissing involved at some point during the evening, there had never been any intimation of going any further than that.

Except today, Belle had decided that she was going to take matters into her own hands, literally if necessary. She’d been reading all the signals, and she thought that the time was right to make her move. Their kisses had been getting much more heated recently, and hands had been wandering from the more chaste positions that they had started in. If they were in Gold’s house, in his domain, then perhaps he would be more comfortable with taking the next step that she was sure they both wanted.

“Belle?”

Belle finally tuned back into the conversation in the diner to find that Gold and Ella had left, evidently having been unable to penetrate her daydream to say goodbye, and David was on the point of going as well. He was wearing a wry smile, and just gave her a wink as he left his money on the table for Granny and went out of the diner.

Belle just groaned, resting her head on the counter.

“What’s up, Belle?” Mulan asked. “You’ve been distracted the entire time you’ve been here, and you didn’t look at Gold once. Has something happened between you two?”

Belle shook her head quickly. “No, no, everything’s going smoothly. Nothing’s happened.” She paused. She could trust Mulan with her relationship worries. The only other person she’d ever had to talk about them was Ruby, who, although present at Dorothy’s apartment ever more frequently, was still off the menu.

“I sense a ‘but’.” Mulan gave her a knowing look. “Come on. Out with it. Unburden all your frustrations on me, whatever they might be.”

“Well, I think in a way, it might be the fact that nothing’s happened that’s the problem, if you get my drift.”

Mulan nodded. “I understand all right. There’s an itch that you really want to scratch with him, but you don’t think he’s interested in scratching it?”

“Oh no, I think he’s interested,” Belle said. “I just don’t think that he’s going to act on that interest without persuasion.”

“Well, he is nearly one hundred and fifty years old, so it’s probably not that surprising that he still has some Victorian values kicking about in there. There’s only so much that you can move with the times.” Mulan grinned. “But if you think that he needs persuasion, then I don’t see why you shouldn’t try and persuade him. It might be fun.”

Belle bit her lip, thinking about the forthcoming date that evening and wondering exactly how to go about it. She’d never really planned a seduction before; with her previous boyfriends, the bedroom stage had just happened by mutual agreement after a few dates.

“What if it goes wrong though? I’ll be at his house, and I don’t really want to have to do the walk of shame before anything’s even happened.”

“Well, if it does all go wrong, all you have to do is call me and I’ll come to your aid, and we can moan about the obtuseness of men together.”

“Mulan, you’re a lesbian.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t have experience when it comes to the obtuseness of men. The difference is that mine is usually because I don’t want them to sleep with me.”

Belle laughed. “All right. If it all goes pear-shaped, you can be my knight in shining armour.”

“You’ll be fine. If you both want it then it’ll happen, even if it does take a little while. You’ve got to take these opportunities when you can get them.”

Belle gave Mulan a sage look; her friend was looking rather excited and she didn’t think that it was down to the hopefully imminent rekindling of Belle’s sex life.

“Is there some news I was not aware of?” she asked.

Mulan nodded.

“Merida’s got some time off and she’s coming over. Gold’s agreed to let me have a couple of days without reaps so we can spend some uninterrupted time together. It’s going to be a weekend of sex and whisky and jokes about bears and I can’t wait.”

“That’s great news, Mulan, I’m really happy for you.” Belle didn’t question the jokes about bears.

“I know. Now all we have to do is get you and Gold on the right track as well, and everyone will be well satisfied.”

Belle smiled, but Mulan made it sound so easy.

X

It was almost time to go, and Belle had been pacing up and down her bedroom for over an hour, wondering what to wear. She’d changed her outfit about three times and she was still second-guessing her underwear. In the end she’d decided on a light blue dress as a concession to the heat, and pale cream underwear that she felt comfortable in. There was no use in her wearing red satin and lace if she was going to be turning bright crimson herself as soon as he saw it. If she was going to be taking the lead in this next stage of their relationship, then she needed to be able to do that and not wonder about what he thought of her underwear.

She was going to be thinking about that anyway, no matter what she wore, but at least in this familiar set she’d be happier and more confident in herself.

It was time to go. She grabbed her purse, checked that there were condoms in there, although, could she get pregnant or carry venereal diseases if she was technically dead? Well, better safe than sorry; that wasn’t a conversation that she wanted to be having with Gold in the heat of the moment. They could discuss that after the fact once the deed had been done and she wasn’t quite as nervous about instigating the whole thing.

God, she wanted him so much, that wasn’t the problem. She’d been thinking about sleeping with him for weeks now. It wasn’t the act itself that was making her nervous. It was how to get to the act in the first place. If she could just flip a switch and have both of them naked and falling into bed together then life would be much easier.

Belle left the apartment and walked the few blocks out of the town centre towards the suburbs and Gold’s house. It was one of those buildings that she’d passed often in her post rounds and never knew who lived there, a house with obvious history and character, standing alone and quite distinct from the other houses around it. When she’d found out that Gold lived in this very house, she’d immediately showered him with questions about it and they’d spent the entirety of the evening just talking about the sprawling salmon pink place he called home.

She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Would he know that she was planning to seduce him? Would he be receptive to her efforts if he did?

Gold was still looking casual when he opened the door; even more casual than he had been in the diner. His usual dress shirt had been switched for a more casual linen one and he was wearing jeans. Belle had never thought about Gold wearing jeans before. She’d become so used to seeing him wearing suits that she didn’t think he even owned a pair of jeans, and it took her several seconds of staring at him to realise that they were still standing in the doorway and she hadn’t actually said hello yet.

“Hi,” she managed eventually.

Gold chuckled. “I know, it’s the jeans, they throw everyone the first time.”

“I just… You’re always so attached to your suits,” Belle said as she stepped inside and he closed the door after her. “Don’t get me wrong, you look good in your suits. You look good not in your suits too. I mean, you look good now,” she added hastily, not wanting him to get the wrong impression even if that was exactly what she was trying to lead up to later. No sense in running before she could walk, and right now walking was proving a challenge when she was transfixed by Gold’s arse in his denim. Good grief, how was she ever going to get through dinner like this?

She took a deep breath to compose herself and followed him through to the kitchen. Chicken was sizzling on the stove and there was a large salad bowl on the side that he was chopping spring onions into.

“I didn’t think we’d want anything too heavy,” he said. “It’s so warm out; turning the oven on would just make us roast in here as well.”

Belle accepted the glass of wine that he offered her and sat down at the table, watching as he finished up the meal. She supposed that his cooking prowess came from so many more years of experience having to fend for himself than she had. And having to fend for Ella, if the tales of her kitchen disasters were to be believed.

“You should wear jeans more often,” she commented. “We never see you out and about looking casual. I think it would help with the PR, you know. You’re the only grim reaper who always actually looks the part in your dark suits.”

Gold shrugged. “It’s a throwback to pawnbroking,” he said. “I don’t get as much custom in that area as I used to, I mainly just deal antiques now, but it used to be very lucrative. As a pawnbroker I always used to dress in the best I could afford. It gives people confidence that you have the money that they need so desperately. Besides. I like wearing suits. Just like you like wearing your high heels.”

Belle looked down at her feet, encased in strappy silver sandals with a four-inch heel.

“I guess so. I don’t get to wear them for work, though.”

Although delivering the mail was always intended to be a temporary job until she could get on her feet and find something else, Belle had found it so useful when going about her reaps that she didn’t want to quit now. It was hard work a lot of the time and she was out in all weathers, but she found that she really didn’t mind it, and being out in the early mornings before the rest of the world was awake, seeing the town wake up around her, had given her a brand-new appreciation for this second chance at life.

“Yes. I think that people might have to double-take at a post lady going around on her bike wearing stilettos.”

The chicken was done, and Gold brought the food over to the table. The kitchen was a cosy place, perhaps a little too warm to be eating in there in the summer, but Belle liked the intimate atmosphere. Hopefully it would lead to even more intimate things a little down the line.

Once he’d finished eating, Gold sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair and letting out a long breath.

“Shall we move to the living room for dessert?” he asked. “I think it might be cooler in there, it doesn’t get as much sun in it during the day.”

Belle was happy to oblige. The living room was far more suited to what she had in mind anyway.

Dessert was a strawberry cheesecake with ice-cream. For all he was generally good in the kitchen, Gold was terrible with desserts and always went for store-bought, which was fine in Belle’s book. As long as it had sugar in it and tasted good, then she was happy with it, and a small part of her did enjoy having something that she was better at than him despite him having been around for so much longer than her. He had always been incredibly appreciative of her baking skills whenever he had been round for a meal at her place, and the memory of his compliments made her smile.

She kept stealing little glances at him as they ate, wondering if his mind was going in the same direction as hers was. This was different for them, it was something new. They were eating in the living room as the sun went down, and Gold was the most casual and relaxed that she had ever seen him. She felt like she had been let into some kind of inner sanctum, and she hoped that meant what she thought it did. She hoped that it was an invitation to get a little bit further into that sanctum. Maybe to the upstairs.

He’d given her a full tour of the house when she’d asked for it that first time she had come over, but this was a different matter.

It was time to test the water. Belle put down her empty bowl and slid a little closer to him on the sofa.

“That was delicious, thank you,” she said. “It’s been a wonderful evening altogether.”

There was something that could make it even more wonderful, but Belle didn’t say that just yet. She waited for Gold to put down his wine glass before going in for a kiss. He accepted her readily, hands splaying over her back to pull her in closer. They’d come this far before, and now it was time to see if they could go any further.

“It has been wonderful,” Gold agreed once they finally broke away. He licked his lips where they had touched Belle’s, and she could see that his eyes were bright with some kind of unspoken desire. The next thing would be to see if she could actually get him to speak it.

“It doesn’t have to end yet, though,” Belle said. She kissed him again and he surrendered into it, almost melting into her embrace. If he kissed her like this all over, then she would die and go to heaven. “I mean, I don’t have to go home just yet,” she added. “In fact, I don’t have to go home tonight at all. It’s not like I have to be up early to do my post round in the morning.”

For a long moment, Gold didn’t react, and Belle wondered if she had been picking up the wrong vibes from him and this wasn’t going in the direction she thought it had been. Had she been too obvious? Not obvious enough?

“I don’t want tonight to end either,” he said eventually. “Would you like to stay the night? Here? With me? I mean, actually with me.” There was hope in his voice, but he looked so sweetly unsure, as if he couldn’t quite dare to hope that this evening was going in the direction he had hoped for.

Belle nodded eagerly. “I would love to stay,” she said. “I, erm, I may have brought my toothbrush with me.”

Gold laughed, and he pulled her in close for another kiss. There was nothing reserved in this kiss. It was clear that he wasn’t holding back at all. He wanted this just as much as she did, he just hadn’t had any real idea how to go about initiating it. Belle pressed in closer, scrabbling into his lap so that she could snuggle closer into his chest. Now that she was here, in this position, and she could feel the heat flooding through her veins and pooling between her thighs, she realised just how long it had been since she had last been this intimate with another person. She wondered how long it would have been for Gold. If she had been the first woman he’d dated throughout his afterlife, then she doubted that he would have gone any further with anyone, especially not if his unsureness around this encounter was anything to go by.

She let him up for air and smiled at his dumbstruck expression for a moment before diving back in. She wanted to show him just how much she wanted this. She didn’t want him to have any doubts or second guess himself at all. It had taken them long enough to start dating in the first place, and now that she was so close to what she wanted and what she needed, she wasn’t going to let awkwardness or old-fashioned formalities get in the way.

Shifting in his lap, she could feel his erection beginning to stir, and he broke away.

“Should we go upstairs?” he suggested.

Belle nodded, sliding off his lap and holding out a hand to pull him up off the sofa. The dirty dishes could wait, but she grabbed the wine bottle and Gold brought the glasses, following her up the stairs then showing her into his bedroom.

It was a beautiful room, all expensive drapes and dark wood, and she certainly could not say that the décor did not suit his usual mode of dress and sardonic personality, but all the same, he didn’t look all that at home in it right now, hovering in the doorway as she looked around.

“Are you all right?” she asked, going over and slipping her arms around his middle. Gold nodded.

“I’m just… I suppose I’m just a little nervous, that’s all.” He sighed, resting his forehead against hers in a little nudge of intimacy and trust that made Belle’s heart melt for him afresh. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this, Belle, and I really don’t want to let you down.”

“I’m sure that you won’t. I just want to be with you. That’s all I want. I don’t want the moon and the stars. I just want you, Alistair.”

“Then you shall have me, Belle.”

He kissed her again, walking her backwards slowly until she hit the foot of the bed and she kicked her shoes off, getting onto the bed and shuffling up until she could lay back against the pillows, beckoning him in closer to her. He followed with a smile, capturing her lips again as she pulled him down against the bedcovers with her, sinking into the plush cushions.

“I’m glad you’re not wearing your usual suit today,” Belle said, her fingers coming to the buttons of his shirt and beginning to slip each one through its hole. “It would have taken years to get you out of all your layers.”

Gold chuckled and sat up to let her push the shirt from his shoulders, her hands mapping his slim chest. There was a self-consciousness in his expression that Belle just wanted to kiss away, and she twisted to show the zipper of her dress.

“Would you do the honours?”

“Most certainly.”

He needed help with her bra fastening, but once Belle was topless as well, grabbing his hands and pushing her breasts up into his palms, he seemed to gain in confidence, and the rest of their clothes were discarded into the heap on the floor in short order afterwards.

“I brought condoms,” Belle said, punctuating her words with kisses. “I didn’t know whether we’d need them. Do things like that affect us?”

Gold shook his head. “No, we don’t need them. Unless you want to use one, of course. I don’t mind.”

“No, I’m all right. I just wanted to check. I’m glad we don’t need one.” She eyed his cock, standing to eager attention, and Belle could feel the heat rising between her legs as she welcomed him between her thighs.

“Oh Belle…” Gold’s voice was practically reverent as he smoothed her tousled curls out of her face, resting his forehead against hers. “Belle, sweetheart…”

“Yes,” Belle breathed. “Come on inside, Alistair. I want you inside me.” She was so hot, so desperate to be touched and to release the tension that was thrumming through her veins, and she groaned with anticipation as Gold nodded, reaching down to line up with her entrance and pressing into her slowly. His movements were unsure, and Belle nudged his thigh with her foot to get him to go a little deeper.

“You won’t hurt me, you know,” she said. “You can go a little harder.”

Gold nodded. “I know. I just want to savour the moment.”

Belle kissed him then, her tongue exploring his mouth and tasting every inch, and finally he began to thrust and give her the wonderful friction that she needed. He felt so good inside, just what she wanted, and she brought her legs around his back to bring him in closer, as close as she could get him.

“Belle, I can’t last, I can’t hold it…”

“Then don’t.”

She felt the rush of heat inside her as he came, his face buried in her shoulder and her name a whisper on his lips, and Belle closed her eyes with a smile. She hadn’t come, but she wouldn’t have traded this moment of togetherness for the world.

“Are you all right?” Gold asked, pulling out and rolling onto his side as he began to soften. He brought one hand to her breast, rubbing a thumb over her nipple.

“I’m perfect.”

“Even though you didn’t…”

“You made me feel good, Alistair, that’s all that matters.” She didn’t ever want him to stop touching her, or to move from his arms. He trailed his hands down from her breasts to cup her bottom, kneading her ass cheeks a little, and Belle pressed in close against him.

“Just hold me, Alistair.”

“Oh Belle, sweetheart, I’ll never let you go.”

They stayed cuddled close in the moonlight, exchanging soft kisses and caresses until Belle felt sleep overtake her, still smiling at the moment they had shared; the first of hopefully many more to come.