#to the point where it is notable if someone cooks.

[swagging-back-to]

if youre over 17yo and you cant cook youre useless

[novlr]

how to describe? Houses, rooms, interiors, palaces, etc?

Creating immersive descriptions of indoor spaces is more than just scene setting—it’s an invitation to the reader to step into your world. Describing the interior of buildings with vivid detail can draw readers into your narrative. So let’s explore how to describe interiors using multiple sensory experiences and contexts.

Sights

Lighting: soft glow of lamps, harsh fluorescent lights, or natural light.

Colour and textures; peeling paint, plush velvet, or sleek marble.

Size and scale: is it claustrophobically small or impressively grand?

Architectural features: high ceilings, crown mouldings, or exposed beams.

Furnishings: are they modern, sparse, antique, or cluttered?

Style and decor: what style is represented, and how does it affect the atmosphere?

State of repair: is the space well-kept, neglected, or under renovation?

Perspective and layout: how do spaces flow into each other?

Unique design features: describe sculptural elements, or things that stand out.

Spatial relationships: describe how objects are arranged—what’s next to, across from, or underneath something else?

Sounds

Describe echoes in large spaces or the muffled quality of sound in carpeted or furnished rooms.

Note background noises; is there a persistent hum of an air conditioner, or the tick of a clock?

Describe the sound of footsteps; do they click, scuff, or are they inaudible?

Include voices; are they loud and echoing or soft and absorbed?

Is there music? Is it piped in, coming from a live source, or perhaps drifting in from outside?

Capture the sounds of activity; typing, machinery, kitchen noises, etc.

Describe natural sounds; birds outside the window, or the rustle of trees.

Consider sound dynamics; is the space acoustically lively or deadened?

Include unexpected noises that might be unique to the building.

Consider silence as a sound quality. What does the absence of noise convey?

Smells

Identify cleaning products or air fresheners. Do they create a sterile or inviting smell?

Describe cooking smells if near a kitchen; can you identify specific foods?

Mention natural scents; does the room smell of wood, plants, or stone?

Are there musty or stale smells in less ventilated spaces?

Note the smell of new materials; fresh paint, new carpet, or upholstery.

Point out if there’s an absence of smell, which can be as notable as a powerful scent.

Consider personal scents; perfume, sweat, or the hint of someone’s presence.

Include scents from outside that find their way in; ocean air, city smells, etc.

Use metaphors and similes to relate unfamiliar smells to common experiences.

Describe intensity and layering of scents; is there a primary scent supported by subtler ones?

Activities

Describe people’s actions; are they relaxing, working, hurried, or leisurely?

Does the space have a traditional use? What do people come there to do?

Note mechanical activity; elevators moving, printers printing, etc.

Include interactions; are people talking, arguing, or collaborating?

Mention solitary activities; someone reading, writing, or involved in a hobby.

Capture movements; are there servers bustling about, or a janitor sweeping?

Observe routines and rituals; opening blinds in the morning, locking doors at night.

Include energetic activities; perhaps children playing or a bustling trade floor.

Note restful moments; spaces where people come to unwind or reflect.

Describe cultural or community activities that might be unique to the space.

Decorative style

Describe the overall style; is it minimalist, baroque, industrial, or something else?

Note period influences; does the decor reflect a specific era or design movement?

Include colour schemes and how they play with or against each other.

Mention patterns; on wallpaper, upholstery, or tiles.

Describe textural contrasts; rough against smooth, shiny against matte.

Observe symmetry or asymmetry in design.

Note the presence of signature pieces; a chandelier, an antique desk, or a modern art installation.

Mention thematic elements; nautical, floral, astronomical, etc.

Describe homemade or bespoke items that add character.

Include repetitive elements; motifs that appear throughout the space.

History

Mention historical usage; was the building repurposed, and does it keep its original function?

Describe architectural time periods; identify features that pinpoint the era of construction.

Note changes over time; upgrades, downgrades, or restorations.

Include historical events that took place within or affected the building.

Mention local or regional history that influenced the building’s design or function.

Describe preservation efforts; are there plaques, restored areas, or visible signs of aging?

[skidtheperson]

Relationship Chart

So people have made SC relationship charts, so I decided why not make one myself

Template

[ Relations ]

Explanation below : [It is long]

Bobby Bearhug :

Picky is nice. She likes to go over and eat at her house every once and a while, even helping her make food sometimes! She's kind, but can be a bit rough at times... Catnap is strange, that's the best way she can put it. He's not bad! She knows he's not very talkative, so she doesn't force him to talk. She also makes sure he's ok with her daily hugs, though she can be forgetful. And when she can't sleep... He's. ALWAYS THERE. Crafty! Her best friend ever! First person she met actually! She LOVES giving her hugs and complimenting her on her art when she can. She's such a talented artist! Bubba can be a bit much sometimes, but she doesn't mind at all. She listens to him talk on, and then she can share info she knows! But... She's a bit worried though, knowing the elephant, he stays up very often. Why he stays up, she doesn't know... She just hopes he's ok. Hoppy... Oh Hoppy. Where does she start? She's always at her games to cheer her on, even if she loses, she's there to congratulate her on being so cool! She loves watching her run around, kick the ball, everytime she cheers when she scores... It makes her heart soar!! ❤ She knows it's love, but she doesn't know how to tell her. Kickin is cool too! Not as cool as Hoppy, but still epic nonetheless. She likes being friends with him and he's actually really good at the sports he does. Though that chicken can be a little dumb sometimes, oh well. Dogday! The leader! He's always so sunny and cheerful! She loves talking with him, giving him hugs galore! He's the one that likes the hugs the most. His fur is so soft, and he even helps her out with valentine's day presents for everyone. Who could ask for a better leader?

Picky Piggy :

Bobby is a nice gal. Always there to cheer someone up. Hell, she's helped with gardening, keeping the barn good, and baking/cooking goods. Though, she can be TOO touchy sometimes, she's trying her best to learn boundaries, so she isn't pushing too much. Catnap, she doesn't care too much about. She stays out of his way, he stays out of hers. He's weird, yes, but as long as she's not bothering him, he doesn't interact. The only time they Eben kinda talk is during group activities or when they need to sleep... Creepy. Crafty is kinda silly sometimes. She makes great art, yet never seems to understand that! She always thinks she can be better, but she's already good enough. Picky herself has tried to paint, but isn't the best. Bubba is nice to talk to. He rambles on sometimes, but never really is too annoying. She doesn't mind being around him. Although he has insisted she eat less, and she's tried, but it ain't easy when you're a pig known for eating. She just ain't the best at that. Kickin and Hoppy are very similar in many ways, the most notable being they're both sporty and energetic. She likes them, they're not bad, but they have tried getting her to do a bunch of sports she doesn't care about. She's told them, and they backed off, but they keep doing it, and it's a bit annoying. Though she finds the sibling rivalry they have funny. Dogday is very nice! He's always happy and go lucky, with a big grin, an idea, and an adventure. He's energetic, yes, but not to the point she is annoyed by him. He's always trying to make sure everyone is happy and having fun, and she likes that about him.

Catnap :

He hates them all. They're so.. FUCKING ANNOYING. They talk and talk, running around.. They even pull him along on their shitty adventures! And they're always asking him to help when they can't sleep. Oh how he wishes.. HOW HE WISHES HE COULD MAKE THEM SLEEP FOREVER TO DIE AND FADE AWAY INTO OBSCURITY! He can... He knows he can, the red gas was made to put people to sleep so that [REDACTED]. But something is stopping. Not something. SOMEONE. That damn, annoying, cheerful dog. What was his problem? He was always smiles, tail wags, and happy arua and.. He... Didn't know why, but it made him feel something other than rage and anger... Something that made his own tail sway and made him heat up. What was wrong with him, why was he like this? He hated it, but also liked it..? That canine is the only reason he's even staying, why he even joined... He hates it. He hates this feeling, he hates everything but that dog! Stupid dog. .... He knows this will all come to an end. They'll figure it out eventually, that elephant already is trying to, he knows he is. He can see the elephant staring at him, analyzing him. He's seen nights where he stays up, looking up and reading through books. If he wasn't stealthy, he would have been caught by now. He wants to put him to sleep, but the chicken always comes and does that for him. That's the only time he's thankful that elephant is gay. He doesn't have to worry too much. But, still... He has to stop this. He can't let them find out. And he knows how.

CraftyCorn :

Bobby is also so kind and nice. She comes over everyday, and everyday, Crafty shows her her art! Whether that be a new piece, a WIP, an updated version of the art before, Bobby didn't care. Bobby just always loved to see how she improved, and Crafty always loved getting compliments from her. All of these love and affection she was getting showered with resulted in her gaining a bit of a crush on the lovey bear. Picky is an interesting person to be around. She's always making goods, and always sharing them with the others. Though Picky leaves most of it for herself, Crafty still finds their friendship good. So yeah. Picky isn't the best painter, but she can always teach her! Catnap is nice. She was the first person Dogday introduced him to, since they're close friends, and she found him nice. Crafty would often show him her art, knowing the cat didn't care or mind. She didn't need words, just needed a head nod and a thumbs up. They don't talk, and Crafty doesn't mind. She likes to sit in silence while Catnap just stared at her art. Or at her. She didn't know, but he was always quiet, and she never minded. Bubba and her talk. He's always supportive of her, and she can proudly show her art to him. Like a dad! She comes up to him, he asks what she needs, and she shows him her art, which he compliments. He also gives feedback and comments about her art to help her improve, which she enjoys. He explains and teaches her things too, like math and science. He's gotten her art tools to help with her art. Hoppy is nice to be around. She's energetic, fun, and loves getting dirty and messy with her. But she can be a bit too energetic and fast, which she can't keep up with at times. But they're good friends! Kickin is a prankster, but also one of the coolest people she knows! He's always doing some cool and awesome stunt fearlessly, and she appreciates that about him! She's the polar opposite of him, shy, reserved, nervous... He's so cool, she just wishes she could be even the factor of awesome he is! She gained a crush on him a while back and confessed, but he politely turned her down since he did not feel the same way. But they're still good friends, nothing changed there. The crush eventually went away. Dogday, one of her best friends! He's always running around playing, and she loves to join in. He's always showing her affection and helps plan out her art contests. She and Dogday like to go on walks through the park, and Dogday talks while Crafty sketches what she sees. She likes being around him. Though Catnap always stares at her when she hugs Dogday when he's around. Whatever..

Bubba Bubbaphant :

Bobby is a very kind and caring person. Every time he's down in the dust, she comes along to try and make him feel better. Sure she can be a bit TOO clingy and touchy sometimes, so he has to tap her shoulder with his trunk, but she's still very sweet and motherly to everyone. Though he doesn't like it when she tries to play match maker since that isn't how the mind works you can't just put people together and make it work. Picky and him don't really have a relationship in his eyes. He's tried helping with her eating a bunch of food, but she eventually gives up, so he's instead advised her to eat healthy foods. He's still trying, but it's not that easy. Catnap. He doesn't know what that.. Thing is. It's a cat, yes, but he's not like them. That weird smoke he produces, the fact they are obsessed with it when he breathes it out... Begging for more, begging to sleep... And the weird thing is, the others are just... FINE WITH THIS? This isn't normal, HE'S NOT NORMAL. He's tried researching everything, day and night, best he's found so far is that California Poppy flowers have been known to help with sleep disorders, they're no where near California! Dogday should have never taken this cat in, it's driving him insane trying to figure out what the hell Catnap is. He doesn't want to admit it but. Catnap scares him. He hates him, and yet, he's scared to anger him. Something is wrong with that cat.. He... Maybe he just needs more s l e e p... Crafty is basically his daughter. She's always looking towards him for help or guidance on her art, and he agrees, teaching her about color theory and how to draw certain things. He even gets her art supplies and other tools on her birthday and other holidays. He loves seeing her improve and get better over time. It makes him happy. Hoppy and him don't really have a relationship, much like Picky. He is impressed with her skill and endurance while sporting, but they don't really talk to much. Kickin, the dare devil, and his amazing boyfriend. He's always there for his games, to watch him surf (and also make sure he doesn't wipe out), and all in all being a supportive boyfriend. Kickin is so crazy sometimes, and Bubba can't help but find that so cute and adorable. Especially when he first met the guy. Bubba wishes he could be as strong and brave as him, but he knows Kickin loves him being the nerdy and smart guy he is, so he wouldn't change that for the world. When Bubba is stressed out and on the brink of a breakdown, he will ring up Kickin, who will rush down and comfort the elephant. This is the same for the amount of nights he's spent staying up researching. Kickin will just go into his house, and if Bubba's still up, he's dragging him to bed to sleep. He fights back, but it falls on deaf ears as he snuggles with him. He loves him as much as can. Dogday was always someone he found interesting. His huge bursts of energy, excitement, and the want to make sure everyone is included intrigued him. He never knew how the dog had so much in him, but he never cared too much. It is nice to see he was happy as always at least. He's tried asking and telling him about Catnap and how maybe getting them addicted to the red smoke he produced is not good for them, but he always has to look on the bright side of everyone. It's a nice trait, but it's also detrimental when Catnap is most likely hurting them. He just wishes the dog wasn't so naive...

Hoppy Hopscotch :

She and Bobby always had a great relationship, finding comfort in one another. Bobby cheers her on at her matches with Kickin, and she helps Bobby work out. Though what shocked her the most about the nice, respectable, motherly bear is the sheer strength that women possesses. She thought she was strong, yet that women had muscle. She always found it hot though, so she can't complaining. Especially when she can get carried after a tough match. So she happily takes it. She can't wait to ask her out. Picky is nice. She makes amazing food, and she likes rough housing sometimes. Though while she tries to get Picky to work out and pay sports, the gal always turns down the favor, not liking to or wanting to, which she respects (for the most part). But she's still nice! She doesn't mind Catnap. They don't get to interact much, since she's always running around and he much rather sleep the whole day. The only times they interact is when she accidentally bumps into him while he's sleeping or when he's helping them with sleep. Catnap seems like a nice guy though! Crafty was fun to tease sometimes. The girl is always shy and jumpy, so it can be funny to prank her sometimes. Though she knows she can be very easily scared, so she always puts it on the low for her pranks. She also knows that she shouldn't make her mad... That didn't go well when she ACCIDENTALLY ruined one of the paintings she was working on.. Hoppy couldn't play soccer with a broken leg. But they're good friends, even after that! Bubba can be annoying at times, always talking about his science mumbo jumbo, whatever (no clue what the hell Kickin sees in him). It can get very boring very fast for her, she doesn't really care at all about it. But he's not a bad person, he's the one they go to for medical help when they get hurt after all. He's trained and knows much more than she ever could, so she respects him for that. She just wishes he wouldn't ramble on sometimes. Ah, Kickin! Her enemy and rival... Or well, brother. She and Kickin have been siblings for a long time now, ever since her parents found the small egg in a bush while walking, thus took him in. She grown attached, and ever since, they've been the sporty duo who fight to win. Even though he has WAY too much of an ego sometimes, he's a good brother and she wouldn't ever ask for anyone else. She loves to pull his leg and mess with the ego filled chicken, though sometimes it backfires on her. Like the time she started the "prank wars" with him. It resulted in both her and him getting scolded and being put in "time out" essentially. She and Dogday get along very well! He's the most energetic out of everyone, even Kickin, so getting to run around with him and play all sorts of fun hyperactive games really helps with all the energy she saves up. He also is really good at fetch, so they will often play it. Fun guy all around! No wonder he's the leader.

KickinChicken :

Bobby and him get along, she loves to just show him affection to the max, and he doesn't mind it. Except for sometimes when she just runs up to him and hugs him out of the blue. He doesn't like that. He also hates it when she just states hugging him without asking. Though she had tried to improve and stop doing that, which he likes. So she's not that bad! He doesn't mind Picky that much. He wished she would play sports with them more, but he can't force her. She makes food for their events, which he enjoys, so she's not that bad. But they just don't interact a lot. Catnap is ok. He helps them sleep when they can't, like a thundering night or after a nightmare, so the guy's cook. But Bubba had gone on rants about the guy and how something wasn't right about him, making him a little afraid or scared of the guy. Though Bubba could just be anxious and paranoid, so he's still giving Catnap the benefit of the doubt. Crafty is a sweet girl! Kind, shy, nervous, and a great artist! Though he overlooks the girl due to her quietness, he also sees her as a friend. He tries to teach her how to speak louder and be more assertive, but the poor woman can't bring herself to do so, thinking she'll come off mean and rude, no matter how much he reassures her. Her art is amazing, but she's so shy she couldn't even show him at first since she thought he was gonna find it childish and dumb. He wishes she could express herself more. Bubba! What a sweet gentleman. Always telling him new facts and things he found out, and when he sees a cool plant, that man will list off what plant it is, how to grow it, and what not. He also helps him when he gets hurt, which is often, so he's thankful for that. He's there to comfort him when he gets scared (which is easily) and make sure he's ok. He loves playing with Bubba's big floppy ears when he's stressed. It calms him down, and helps him relax. Anyways, both he and Bubba make mistakes, yes, like the time he and him had a small argument because he accidentally broke one of Bubba's favorite mugs, but he wouldn't love anyone else. He just loves snuggling into that guy. He couldn't get enough! He also always helps the other with his sleeping issues, since that poor guy has been staying up more often. So he goes over, drags him to bed, then cuddles with him under a weighted blanket. It helps Bubba fall asleep. He wishes he could stop staying up multiple nights, but he insists that it's for a reason and that he has to continue his research. But he'll continue to help him, no matter what. Hoppy, his sister, is a pain in the ass. But also his friend. She always teases him and messes with him just to spite him. She's been like that for years. He and her fight about random small things, and always try to beat and top the other in what they're doing, causing a competition between them. A constant battle basically. They're always at each other trying to be better than the other, whether that be in sport, baking, running, anything. Like siblings always do. She's a great big sister though, has helped him through tough times, and he can't be more grateful. Dogday is like that guy you always see around the block. Always running, always doing things, always happy and excited, and just a great guy overall. He goes to him when he needs to plan things with the group or ask him when an we went is happening. He also goes to him just to pay video games and fetch with him, since the dog loves that game. He's so sweet sometimes.

Dogday :

He finds everyone as his best friend! They're all nice to him and, as their leader, he must make sure everyone is happy and included! However, Bubba has been telling him that Catnap could be a danger to the group, and how the red smoke is causing problems for them, and how maybe Catnap isn't a good person... He doesn't understand though! Catnap is such a sweet, adorable, quiet kitty that sleeps a lot. There's nothing wrong with him, he thinks that at least. Speaking of which, Catnap. He's been having these strange happy feelings lately around him. His purring is calming, the way he yawns and curls back up is so cute, and when he's all sleepy and tired.. He's just a ball of adorableness! Is that a word? He doesn't know. But it's how Catnap is! He just wants to give him all the kisses in the world! He's talked with Bobby about the feelings, and she says it's love. He's not sure yet though if it is love or not. Maybe he just... Really likes his best friend! That's it. Maybe...

[cloudcountry]

meet him halfway

Genre/Tropes: Unestablished relationship. No notable ones!!

Summary: Kalim catches onto Jamil's little crush on you (it's more than that) and Jamil denies it because there's no way the two of you could ever end together (even though you want to.)

Author's Comments: This is loosely based on the song "I Won't Say I'm in Love" from Hercules. I stared with the intention of Kalim being more insistent (and taking the role of the muses) but then it turned into this.

~~~~~

“Are you packing extra food for the Prefect again?”

Jamil winced at the loud voice as Kalim popped up over his shoulder, watching as he chopped up the meat he was using for Kalim’s lunch.

“No. And don’t say again, I never have. They can feed themselves.” he hissed, brow furrowing as he continued chopping.

“Aww, okay. You just always end up giving them the second box so I thought-”

“I make one for myself, too. Don’t think too much of it.” he said, “I’m only required to make your meals. I do not do such things for the Prefect.”

“Really? Because I thought you liked them!” Kalim responded.

WHAT?

Jamil jumped, whirling around to face him. He couldn’t wipe the annoyed glare off his face as Kalim blinked at him innocently.

How did he figure it out?!

“It’s nothing like that.” he sighed, shaking his head, “I have to make lunch for myself, you know. It has nothing to do with them.”

“Are you sure?” Kalim asked, looking very puzzled, “Because you smile a lot when you talk to them and they’re always in the kitchen with you during our parties instead of hanging out with everyone else. They’ve even told me about how you taught them to cook stuff from our home- Mmph!”

Jamil placed a hand over Kalim’s mouth, effectively cutting off his train of thought. This was bad. If Kalim knew about his feelings for you, there was no telling who else knew. If that annoying octopus from Octavinelle figured it out Jamil would be in a world of trouble.

How irritating.

“Don’t say such senseless things.” he hissed, releasing Kalim, “I have no feelings for the Prefect whatsoever. Has anyone else been talking about this baseless rumor?”

“No…I just thought you might like someone.” Kalim pouted, “I got excited because I like the Prefect and I wanted an excuse to throw parties for them-”

“Well, I don’t. Now go away. I won’t get your lunch prepared at this point.” Jamil shooed him away, knowing full well he would have had his lunch ready regardless.

“Okay! But I invited them over, so if you want to say hi you can!” Kalim beamed, scurrying out of the kitchen before Jamil could yell at him.

Was he serious?! Ugh, now he had to deal with you too.

Jamil rolled his eyes before getting back to work, hoping he could finish his duties before you arrived. If he could get Kalim his lunch and make sure he had all his things and walk Kalim to his class and then get to his without running into you, it would be the ideal morning.

With the way he talked about you, one would think he hated you.

That conclusion would be better than thinking he liked you.

He sped up his pace, not missing a beat as he finished up the two lunchboxes (one of which was totally for him. Giving it to you didn’t even cross his mind, because why in the world would he do that?)

“Jamil?” you called his name, opening the door to the kitchen, “Are you in here?”

“Yes.” he responded, mentally kicking himself for letting you know where he was even though it’d be suspicious to hide from you.

“Hey!” you caught his gaze, beaming as you shut the door behind you, “Is Kalim giving you trouble again? I can get his stuff together for you.”

“It’s fine. I can handle it.” he shot you a smile, hoping that would be enough to end the conversation.

It was you, though. Of course you kept talking.

“Of course you can. I just don’t want to get too stressed out.” you sighed, sounding upset that he hadn’t let you help.

“...If you could help walk Kalim to his next class, that would be a big help.” he mumbled, turning his head towards you for the first time since you came in.

Your face was so happy, the smile on your lips brighter than the overhead lights of the kitchen. Jamil swallowed thickly, face warming at the sight of you.

Pretty.

“Of course I can! I’ll make sure he gets there safe and sound, so you can count on me!” you cheered.

Jamil sighed again, stacking the two boxes. At least this way, both you and Kalim would be out of his hair shortly. He’d be able to fulfill his duties of watching Kalim and get to his class without a headache today because of you.

Besides, it’s not like he wanted to walk around with Kalim.

“Here, take these. They’re for Kalim’s lunch.” Jamil shoved the boxes into your hands, turning away quickly.

“Thank you! I’ll tell him that you’re almost ready to go!” you tucked the boxes into your chest like they were precious gems before exiting the kitchen.

He breathed a sigh of relief, resting against the counter. He didn’t have time for you or your smiles or laughs. He had a duty to Kalim, and he just partially gave that up to get away from you. He wasn’t in his right mind right now at all. Shaking his head, he wrinkled his nose at the feelings swarming around in his chest.

Whatever these feelings were, he couldn’t act on them. He was in no position to devote himself to another when his entire life was to be spent in service of Kalim.

It would be unfair to you to expect you to take his hand if he could only extend it halfway.

(Unbeknownst to him, you’d always been trying to meet him halfway.)

[kdbleu]

Costuming and The Bear...

So, costuming on TV, in a movie always means something even if it’s only a representation of the character. The Bear seems to use that on the next level, too, on the more thematic/symbolic level.

Richie wearing only Beef merchandise is the most obvious use of both these ideas, because it’s not subtle, like Richie is not subtle. His adherence to the Beef dress code shows that his character is tied more to the past than the present/future, and that he’s outside the rest of the group as the kitchen staff dons the new blue aprons. The only exception Richie makes in the present is when he’s on a date. Which says something too. That Richie knows how to fit social expectations. Even how to impress if he keeps his mouth shut.

Clear, color separation is used with Sugar. She wears civvies because she doesn’t work in the kitchen, but she’s in orange, the opposite of blue on the color wheel in the pilot, and pink, a social opposite of blue later when she comes to clean up the shot-out glass and search the office for the tax paperwork. This makes it obvious that she doesn’t work in the restaurant, and she doesn’t like it. In the season 2 trailer, talking to Cicero, she coordinates with Carmy and Sydney, showing that she’s coming around.

There’s a distinct present quality in the blue apron uniform as Mikey’s kitchen staff only adds Carmy’s apron to their usual personalized work wear while Carmy and Sydney wear more personally standardized white tops and black/dark pants that not only are consistent but coordinate with each other, already making them a unit within the unit.

This apron/group dynamic is heightened by it not only being pointed out by Tina, but by Tina going from not wearing the blue apron to Carmy remarking that she looks like Sydney when Tina finally does and Tina in return saying to him she’s “profesh” now. It's interesting that Tina wears a white blouse, like Sydney, before the blue apron. It’s the apron and Carmy she resists not the kitchen uniform, but it hints at the future before she joins the present. And before she sheds her individualism.

This desire for individualism leads to Sydney’s scarves, her show of individualism and how she works the fact that she has to hold her braids back into something distinct and bold within her personal uniform that she likely spent a lot of time working towards as she figured out how stand out as herself in a professional kitchen in a way that could not be argued with. Although she also probably played closer to the rules in an attempt to almost hide, wearing something very discreet until she found a place and acceptance at the Beef with Carmy. She wears a more subtle version of her scarf in episode 1 with it rolled then she does in later episodes with the triangle point showing off more color. I envision her wearing the rolled version while catering and interviews because it’s a little sleeker while still hinting and her boldness.

Carmy keeping to his own version of a very classic chef look shows his insecurity even as he comes into his own. He wants to wear something he’s comfortable in that hints at the denim collection and keeps him close to Mikey, but white tee and black work pants with a blue apron is still very professional kitchen. Carmy shows off on the plate, not in his uniform, which he keeps no matter how he’s working in the restaurant or where he’s cooking. Except at home, which is notable. This is echoed in his off-duty clothes, muted colors, and denim, as opposed Sydney’s prints, stripes and screen tees.

All of this is a very winding way to say that all the costume choices mean something. It’s something that the new girl will have a uniform that matches Sugar’s life outside the Beef/Bear. That Richie has Berf merch hidden in someone’s basement, a further tie to the messed up past. That Tina seems to be doing better in culinary school than Ebra. That Marcus and Fak have their own flair.

(There’s not enough of Marcus in the trailers to really guess at his path forward, just rumors, so I’m going to hold off on him in season 2, but in season 1 he falls between present and past but definitely in action looks to his future. I mean, he’s obsessed with possibility and donuts.)

But it also signifies a lot that Carmy and Sydney match in one chaos menu scene but not in the other. Just like it’s important they’re in his home. So, yeah, Carmy and Sydney standing outside their evolving restaurant with Carmy in his personal uniform and Sydney in a personalized inverse of that uniform is a moment that ties them as equals who fit together and complement each other. The fact that they’re together day and, if BTS shot are to be believed, night looking up to the future means they’re a pair. No matter what that future might hold. (the picture is from @devisrina's blog. Thank for posting it.)

[devizakura]

Betty Lou - Hazbin Hotel OC

Basic info:

Species: Winner Angel

Physical age: 28

Death year: 1956

Height: more or less equal to Lucifer's

Likes:

tinkering and making wind-up toys

sweets

trying out new hobbies

helping others

cooking (especially for others)

swing dancing

Dislikes:

being horrible at baking

when someone acts like a know-it-all despite being blatantly incorrect

needless violence

unequal relationships

confrontation

Overview:

Betty is friendly, curious, and quite straightforward. She was born in the south of the US and as such, has a bit of a Southern accent, though leaning more towards a theatrically fancy version of it (think Scarlett O'Hara from "Gone with the Wind").

She never married out of disdain for feeling dominated in a relationship, and so lived alone by making a humble living as a music tutor. She died of cardiac arrest, with no one around to help her in time.

Despite dedicating a large part of her life to charity work, she would often contemplate if she's truly a good person or just doing all that work to convince herself that she is. Now in Heaven, she still watches her every step to make sure she's not doing anything bad, and if she makes even the smallest misstep, she feels immense guilt for it.

Her favorite thing about Heaven? Infinite time to learn all sorts of new skills, mostly on the creative side - it was there that she learned to assemble simple machinery and wind-up toys. However, if she doesn't do at least semi-decently at first, she's very quick to give up, and as such has sworn off learning how to paint and bake for the most part - as much as she excels at cooking, all her pastries and cakes come out either slack-baked or burnt, something she laments as she loves sweets.

Notable relationships:

Sir Pentious - friend, then crush

Betty met Sir Pentious shortly after he had started using the building she lived in as a personal workshop. They became "tinkering buddies" and bonded over their shared love for building machines.

She is the one to fall for him first, making peace with her feelings after a brief period of inner conflict. It takes Sir Pentious quite some time to get over his old love back in Hell (even though she moved on rather quickly - not to fault her, of course, as for all she knows he's gone for good and they weren't even officially a thing) but he does eventually end up reciprocating.

Because their ship is more of a slowburn, you will see them refer to each other as friends in my work a lot of the time, but that doesn't change that their endgame is romantic!

Molly - best friend

They regularly have their "girls' nights in" where they gossip and have fun. Never too old for a sleepover!

Emily - idol

They barely know each other personally if at all, but Betty really looks up to her, to the point where she'll get really nervous and awkward trying to impress her if she gets the chance.

[sid-the-sandwich]

Ok, so feeling a little underwhelmed by the new lesson teaser, and besides the Simeon FNAF jumpscare at the end, it was basically what we already knew, I thought it may have been like the first mini-lesson or something (not the whole chapter, just one book part)

I wanted to write what I think might happen in the next set of lessons, based on what we saw in the teaser but like... there's nothing much to expand upon. (Go girl give us nothing)

So what I am going to do, is I am going to write a plot for season 3 that I think would be the most outlandish thing ever and that would never happen, based on the little summary we got from the description of the video! so here it is (I'll put a TLDR at the end):

Season 3: False Hope

Returning to the Devildom is hard for MC after the events they just went through, all they want to do now is put their feet up, rest and hang out with their favs

Everything is the best its ever been, despite MC only disappearing for mere minutes in their time, it felt like an eternity and more had passed by them.

The characters' are all constantly happy, everything is bright, warm, exciting, and everyone is in high spirits; even Raphael and Mephistopheles, who once seemed to hate each other, getting along like long-lost best friends.

The characters dote on MC, anything they could have ever wanted is given to them:

MC wants to go out? Mammon and Asmo would happily spend all their money just for them.

MC wants food? Beel happily hands his food to MC.

everything is just... odd

But at first, its nothing notable, sure, the brothers are acting weird, but that's because they are practically family and MC did technically disappear for a while so it fits.

But then... things kept being too convenient, random good luck, people where being nice, very nice; everyone, even Solomon was smiling like nothing happened,

MC is seriously doubting the few months they spent in the past since no one has brought it up since that initial return

its something MC cant shake, everything feels too surface-level, too sweet... too fake,

but the most damning piece of evidence... Simeon was an Angel again. and when asked about it, Simeon avoids the question, suddenly being whisked away by Luke or Raphael very conveniently.

Solomon can now cook good...

MC deduces something is definitely wrong, this isn't the present they left,

MC starts noticing weird oddities, but not with our characters, but rather the landscape around them, whenever MC tries to venture too far out the Devidom, they are brought back to the main city as if the world is wrapping around this city.

MC tries telling the characters that something is wrong, but none listen to them, dismissing MC for having an 'overactive imagination'

it goes so far that the brothers lock us in our room once we are more adamant and threaten to find out the truth by ourself, the brothers saying we just 'need some alone time'.

The brothers periodically check in on MC, seeing if they have 'calmed down' and each time MC badgers on about the same point.

Eventually, MC manages to steal the keys of the bedroom from one of the boys and escapes the House of Lamentation in the middle of the night

MC tries to run, somewhere, anywhere they can think; The demons lord castle? Purgatory Hall? Damn, even Thirteen's cave!

But while running through the woods someone grabs MC rather strongly, covering MC's mouth, its... Solomon?

Solomon shushes MC, signaling MC to the sounds of rustling and voices of other characters looking for MC.

Despite how weird Solomon's been acting since they got back, this time Solomon felt warm, comforting and familiar.

MC crawls, following Solomon's instructions, only to be met by... ANOTHER SOLOMON?

The two Solomon's Brawl using Magic and honestly MC is just confused, because what is even happening?

MC recites a magic spell they know and threatens to shoot one of the Solomon's

Both Solomon's freeze and each say something to plead their case, one Solomon expresses Love for MC while the other says the same thing He said when he first met MC in Nightbringer. MC shoots the first,

Solomon explains how this world is an illusion created by Nightbringer to keep MC away from the present,

With the illusion broken, The world becomes grey and devoid of colour

Hastily, Solomon drags MC back to where the portal in the sky that brought them their, With all the 'fake characters' chasing them, Solomon repeats a very strong spell alongside MC so get transported back

Now they are actually back to the right timeline... or are they?

(Side Note: Originally, the character helping Mc was different, but Solomon made the most sense)

TLDR: MC goes back to the present but it is actually an illusion created by Nightbringer to prevent MC from returning

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

[hey-august]

If Buggy can have a hot dadbod femm Buggy can have a hot mombod

Little too much squish for her liking, little too much sag in her boobs, hips that have a notable dip to them and an ass she sometimes grabs and pushes up while she looks in the mirror, only to be disappointed when it doesn’t stay perky and obeys gravity.

She thinks if her body as a “ I would have a great x if it didn’t *something completly normal *” and she’ll try to act like a pornstar when she’s with someone to overplay those insecurities, happily putting on a show and wearing flashy lingerie that flatters her just right

Which is why it would surprise her when her partner catches her undressing for bed, in a decidedly unsexy nighty and wool socks on, no makeup, stubble growing on her pits and legs…. And they still jump into the bed faster than one can say “Last one has to clean the lavatory for a month!” .

Not a chance in hell you’d pass on fucking your sexy little clown wife with those cute dimples on her soft ass and that adorable little tummy that jiggles when you fuck her and those absolutely gorgeous tits with nice, big nipples that just BEG to be sucked.

BIG YES. A BIG BEAUTIFUL YES.

Fem Buggy is absolutely beautiful, a goddess, but her insecurities have been a lifelong friend. One that’s loud and abrasive.

Buggy acts like she doesn’t care about how her body looks and sometimes she doesn’t. Yet there are moments where she’s filled with jealousy and pain for not having a body that shipwrights and fine dining cooks would drool over.

But she’s incorrect. Buggy has a gorgeous body and her partner will worship it every chance they get.

Where Buggy sees lopsided boobs that don’t sit pretty, her partner sees beautiful, lush tits. Absolutely delicious. They can hardly keep their hands or mouth off of ‘em. Uneven? Not at all noticeable. They’re perfect.

Where Buggy sees a stomach that takes more space that she wants, that pokes out too much, that creates rolls that she judges, her partner has hearts in their eyes. They see their favorite cuddle bug. (Get it?) They see happiness. They absolutely melt when Buggy straddles them and they can admire her lovely body - all the mountains and valleys, rolls, sweet jiggles - everything.

Where Buggy sees skin that isn’t flawless and smooth - dimpling on her thighs and ass, stretchmarks, blemishes, deep pores - she cringes. But her partner loves to smother all of those beautiful landmarks in kisses. 

Greasy skin? Chewed up cuticles? Calluses on her hands and feet? Her partner pays no mind - they don’t notice those things. Even if Buggy points out the “problem areas,” they don’t stand out to her partner.

Buggy could hardly be self-conscious about how she looked down there when her partner all but dived face first between her legs. Everyone looks different, everyone tastes different, but Buggy is the best. And her partner makes sure she knows how damn delicious she is.

The body hair? Buggy kept up with shaving at first, but got lazy after a while. She didn’t realize how much stubble built up in her pits until after a steamy session, but her partner hadn’t anything. 

Buggy sheepishly confessed that she forgot to shave her legs when her partner asked to cuddle, but they didn’t care. They liked how her legs felt against theirs, whether there was hair or not.

And the hair on Buggy’s mound? Her partner simply adores it. Caressing and petting the curly blue hair. Whispering how pretty it looks, talking more to themself than to Buggy.

Buggy is beautiful, even if she doesn’t believe it. Although she’s starting to.

(tagging @rorywritesjunk bc it's time for fem!buggy worship)

[milamilamilax]

Sydney's mental health

I’ve read plenty of theories about Sydney’s potential health issues, particularly whether she might have lupus, but I think the show could take a different approach. There are various clues throughout the two seasons pointing at mental health issues for Sydney, which I think these point towards things potentially getting worse for Sydney as she puts too much pressure on herself - or perhaps hints of a backstory for Sydney, but the clues are definitely there. 

We’ve seen general hints about Sydney having anxiety, e.g. struggling to sleep, haunted by memories of catering, and the stomach problems she has, likely due to stress. We also know that she is closed off emotionally, to the extent that she arguably even hides the truth about her mother’s death. Although we haven’t seen it officially yet, her “c’est pas grave” tattoo feels like something someone with anxiety would say to themselves as a kind of motto.

Specific things I’ve noticed while rewatching that support this include:

Sydney talking to Carmy (1x05) about the collapse of her business “My whole shit got rocked. And there’s not a night I don’t stay up just thinking about what I could’ve done different.” Sydney refers to her shit getting rocked separately to her credit getting fucked. Notably, when talking with Marcus about the same thing (the collapse of her business) in 1x08 is how this affected her finances - her negative credit score and moving back in with her dad, so she must be thinking of something else here. (I also think this is a sign of Sydney/Carmy > Sydney/Marcus; she’s more open with Carmy when they barely know each other than she is with Marcus when they’re hanging out outside of work as friends.)

In the shots of Sydney's bedroom (also in 1x05) the choices of posters could mean something more. There are 2 film posters that we see clearly in Sydney's room: (1) Jumping' Jack Flash, a film named after a Rolling Stones song, which recounts stories of intense suffering only to come out stronger, and (2) Speed, a film about a bus that has been rigged to explode if its speed drops below 50mph. This also made me of all the references to Sydney driving and how this is a metaphor for her ambition and work ethic (see here) - could it be a reference to this drive also being a weakness?

Sydney talking to Marcus (1x08), after he compliments her for not taking a day off and getting right back to cooking: “I’m just the type, like, as soon as I stop I just *mimics falling apart*". Clearly, she’s experienced this falling apart before, but this is something we haven't seen on screen. We don’t know the timelines of Sydney’s business and exactly when it fell apart, but could it be that the collapse of Sheridan Road drove her to also collapse? (This is also the conversation where she explicitly says to Marcus "It would be weird to work in a restaurant and not completely lose your mind," but I think this is something different to her references to losing her mind when she's not working.)

Sydney talking with her dad (2x02), she differentiates The Bear from her previous business, saying: “I’m in a much better place than last time.” I found this choice of words interesting - separately, she mentions that she’s learned lots of lessons, and has a partner now, but the reference to a “better place” is distinct. What kind of “place” she was in when she started and closed Sheridan Road? It sounds like whatever her emotional and mental state was, it was at least a factor in her failure there. It’s also interesting that she didn’t mention this as one of the reasons for leaving catering when she discussed it with Carmy in 1x05: she didn’t refer to any personal factors, focusing instead on the logistical challenges (on her business getting too big too fast, and the difficulties of running it out of her garage). 

Emmanuel to Sydney (2x09): “I know you can put a lot of pressure on yourself”; Sydney responds: “why can’t we put everything that we have into everything that we can?” And then, “I don’t know if I could do another one.” This exchange isn't subtle at all, because Emmanuel is a great dad and cares about his daughter, but I find it interesting how much he is focused on the pressure Sydney puts herself under; he's no longer focusing on the risky nature of the industry or her change in plan as he was in 2x02, he’s only concerned about her wellbeing here. We know how much pressure she is in fact putting on herself (to get a star, and to generally be the best) so could she end up pushing herself too far again?

Sydney talking to Carmy (2x09) in the infamous table scene: “What if I just, like, completely melt? Like I just, fuck up and fail?” Now, at this point, we haven’t actually seen Sydney completely melt. In 1x05 and 1x06 she handles crises at the restaurant like a boss and saves the day with her quick thinking, and even with the to-go crisis in 1x08, her initial response is to try to help - what makes her throw in the towel is Carmy’s attitude towards her. She could also be referring to the final pasta dish she did for Sheridan Road, but this also didn't sound like "completely melting" to me. I think she’s remembering another time here, a different memory that we haven't seen yet - or perhaps foreshadowing melting in the future.

I’m also interested in how the writers have made Sydney so similar to both Carmy and Mikey, two characters who we know have struggled with extremely poor mental health.

Now, Sydney and Carmy's clothes (think matching jumpers, uniforms, the Thom Browne connection - see post here), language (see this post), and even their names (see here) show how similar they are. This post, however, made me realise how much the writers have also made Sydney mirror Mikey. Maybe the writers are hinting at a similar spiral (although I couldn't imagine this involving drugs specifically, which is something we've never seen referred to in the context of Sydney). 

When Mikey was spiralling, Carmy was away - he didn’t even know Mikey was using drugs, and he didn't go home in the immediate aftermath. Likewise, in 2x10, Carmy is (for all intents and purposes) away and unable to help Sydney when she begins to lose control of the situation. Just as with Mikey, Richie is the one who is available - and, this time, he’s able to save the day.

Generally, Sydney appears relatively stable on the surface, particularly when we compare her to some of the Berzatto family - but I think this is at least partly a case of her being a character who doesn't let her emotions show as much. My own theory for S3 is that the above is either hinting at a larger spiral for Sydney, or is some heavy hinting for Sydney's backstory, which I hope to God we get to see more of.

[drconstellation]

Thoughts on Drinks in S2

Updated 10 Nov 2023

I thought I might put together some of my rambling thoughts on all the drinks that appear in S2 in general, since there are far more of them than food. I believe the hot chocolate is just as important as the coffee choices and some just make interesting comments.

Tea

Tea only makes a brief appearance, notably when Muriel visits the bookshop and meets Azriaphale. It is an introduction to the ways of humans. The only other tea we see are the offered herbal teas of peppermint (stimulating) or chamomile (a relaxant) to Maggie by Nina, and we don't know which one Maggie chooses.

Sherry

The request for sherry in the pub is, quite simply, hilarious, even without the Lady Bracknell ad lib. In Australia, where I am from, and I believe the UK as well, sherry has a long tradition as a ladies drink. And one wouldn't be adverse to have a nip or two (or more) while doing the cooking with it. If you haven't seen The Importance of Being Ernest performed, not just read it, you really must make the effort. (Coincidentally, I was taken as a teenager to see a version where Lady Bracknell was played for comedic effect by a man in drag. I loved it, and have never forgotten it, or the cucumber sandwiches.)

Wine

In S2E1 we have Nina reaching for the comfort wine while trapped in the coffee shop. She offers Maggie some, but she declines, and offers "No judgement."

Then we have some romantic wine in 1941, and some potentially romantic wine back in the present. Or is it?

Why don't you just talk to Gabriel, suggests Aziraphale. Alright, I will! declares Crowley, pausing only to take the wine bottle with him. The next thing we see is him ready to pass his Judgement on the amnesiac archangel.

Edit: I missed quite a bit of wine my first time around! There was two lots of wine in the Job minisode, and that was quite judgemental as well.

What, you didn't bring the wine, angel?

Then later in the cellar, while the storm rages, Crowley does find some wine and proceeds to enjoy the fruits of his demonic work while having a moral argument with Aziraphale.

Hot Chocolate

Ah! Ohohoh! The hot chocolate! Jim-short-for-James hot chocolate! I think it is very telling he is offered it by both Aziraphale and Crowley. The first gif sees him drinking while overlooking the Outside and a reflection of "give me coffee" in the window (this is the start of S2E3.) He is walking a different road to the others, one protected and facilitated by A & C. The coffee isn't for him, its for Other People. He gets his own special stash of the Good Stuff, labeled and everything. Privilege for the Frog Prince, sheesh.

Edit: Several times I've tried to explain the Choice of the Hot Chocolate, and I've actually replied to someone here about it in the mean time in a way that I'm happy with - here is most it, below:

Most of us get the two options, coffee, or death. But Jim has been given a third option, and he has grabbed it enthusiastically with both hands. Aziraphale has handed it to him in spades, even! That much will take a long time to get through, wouldn't it. It's a big generous gift, that Aziraphale understands well. Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he instinctively knew Aziraphale understood what he needed. Mr 'six-shots-of-espresso' loves his freedom, or liberty, and his life here on Earth. The humans who line up for their dose of Heaven every day do, too. Death is the option-that-is-not-an-option. It's duty. It's the tax we all have to pay for living. So the Metatron turns up and offers Aziraphale a coffee to one who doesn't drink coffee. Essentially the Metatrash offers a choice that isn't a choice. Aziraphale's only choice is to do his duty at this point, or else...well, we aren't shown it, but it seems the 'else' was too terrible to contemplate. (Or, as some people alternatively see it, the Metatron kept pushing until he was offered a carrot he couldn't refuse.) But Jim, he's been give the option that Aziraphale and Crowley really want, but can't quite have at this point. Freedom to love as they want, and openly in front of all Heaven, Hell and Humanity. They understand. They don't judge Jimbriel for this, they actually encourage it - they both make it happen right under the Ineffable Bureaucracy's noses in the end! The irony of it! They give their arch-enemy the gift that they dream of. I'm very tempted to digress off into a discussion about the two glimpses of authority we get from Crowley and Aziraphale in S2E6 at this point (Crowley yelling at the demons prior to the attack on the shop, and Aziraphale shouting at the Ineffable Bureaucracy representatives arguing what to do about Gabe and Beez in the shop to shut up,) and what it might it might tell us about their pasts. Because, as others have noted, Gabriel and Beelzebub have that freedom to be together in front of everyone because they have power - they are essentially the top ranking beings in this AU. They can do what they want with little fear of consequences. And I guess the Metatron didn't step in to intercede at this point because he essentially wanted Gabriel gone from the picture, and this was a convenient way to do it. So yeah, the sweet hot chocolate is Gabriel's special option, facilitated by Aziraphale and Crowley. He doesn't have to drink what the plebs drink, the bitter devotional duty to Heaven.

Whiskey

The demon drink. Fire water. (Maybe...enough said? Not sure...I've got dots to spare here...fire...and water...hmm...where have we seen that before...)

Coffee

Give Me liberty Coffee, or Give Me Death!

Six shots of espresso in a big cup for Crowley - lots of freedom for the demon.

The humans line up every day to get their ration of free will.

Regarding the Metatron's coffee offer to Aziraphale, the best explanation I've seen of it is here. The almond syrup signals that Aziraphale is being watched, and to me he is being offered a choice he can't refuse. He has no option but to accept it. In regards to the oat milk, I've seen a suggestion that it was a reference to Aziraphale being too free while on Earth and having a chance to "sow his oats." Also the purpose of offering it was to see if he was compliant enough to follow orders when asked.

Coffee shops have historically been a hotbed of foment, where new ideas were discussed, business conducted and rebellions started.

Finally there's a special mention for Gabriel and Beelzebub with their "intoxicating liquor."

Which they didn't. They got to make their own choice, in the end, thanks to Aziraphale.

Extra edit:

The Laudanum

I originally didn't include this one, but since posting this I realised how it fits in. I've written it up in this meta here - The Altar of Eccles Cakes, - because its a Sin Offering.

[A Sin Offering was for] atonement or unintentional sin. It would have the elements of a Burnt offering, as well as a Peace offering, but not be shared.

It pretty clear to most observers that Crowley did a good and "kind deed" for Elspeth here, which angered Hell in the process and then he was dragged forcibly downstairs to be duly punished for it. There is a post here from atlas-hope that suggests this is a parallel of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, drinking the cup of God's wrath to absolve Christians of their sins. They point out the laudanum is even poured into a goblet. Crumbs, that's a hefty bit of spiritual lifting, dear demon. What were you thinking, Anthony J. Crowley? It might cast that conversation you had with the carpenter back on the mountain in a new light, or least make us look back twice at it. (Plenty of time for contemplation before S3 arrives...) Remember, a Sin offering has elements of both a Burnt offering and a Peace offering: a giant Crowley gets Elspeth to promise to devote the rest of her life to being "properly good, not just pretendy good" and the money Aziraphale is forced to donate to her ensures her future prosperity. Sounds like a win-win situation there, Elspeth!

[chimerahyperfix]

RECIPE OF THE DAY

[OR: This was the most upsetting alternate looper option]

Long post because i have been cooking this in my brain for like, two months, and it's all-consuming. Also I'm not in the Discord yet because Anxiety so my ramblings had to go somewhere, and what better than one big fucking post yknow. I cast spell of fuck you mind blast on the tag/lh /j

TLDR for below: Siffrin words his wish differently, Bonnie gets trapped in a time-loop, and despite saying they're in a timeloop repeatedly nothing works and no one can help them. The normal ISAT absolute horrors ensue.

CONTENT WARNINGS: the normal ISAT tags [death, violence and trauma, suicide, self harm and unreality], Notable Pin on child endangerment and death, poisoning.

most of these get discussed ^ even if shortly

SO. THIS AU.

This is it this is my big one. Ignore me pushing the literal 12 other isat aus I have into a pile pls this is THE big one. I’m looking at the note I’ve stored all this lore in on my notes app,and it’s like. 35 fucking pages?

I've looked at a ton of alternate looper aus [that's part of the hyperfixation babeyyyy I need to consume ALL content forever and ever and ever] and I was like “oohhhh I wanna do that!!” So I literally just listened to music until I caught an idea and yikes. Looking at the AUs playlist now [it’s about 100 songs! Oops!] and I’m like [cartoony image of me laying face first on the floor]

This is a bit scattered because I wrote it over 3 days instead of working on the fic I’m supposed to be writing ooopsieeeee. Ramblings belowvvvvvvvvvv

It begins as simply as the game does. No one knows how to wish properly; so Siffrin wishes, because they know how to. The same folded leaf, repeated three times wish. Close to what is said in canon; different enough for the Universe to read it differently. No longer does Siffrin loop, because the wish isn’t about him, it’s about Bonnie and their sister. Siffrin’s wish is construed as “I wish Bonnie’s wish would come true,” and even if the Universe can’t hold onto Bonnie’s wish as they did it wrong, it CAN hold onto Siffrin’s.

And that’s the base point: EVERY LOOP, Siffrin wishes, because he wishes after he talks to them and that's where they loop back to, and its wish craft goes to Bonnie. A recipe for disaster with how much time they have!

They loop back when Siffrin gets crushed by the rock, because they can’t win while being down a party member. When they touch a tear, or when the sadnesses get the jump on the party and they all go down, or when they use the dagger equivalent [a poisoned snack], or when they get to the King. They Never Beat The King. Think SASASAaP but ISAT.

Bonnie doesn’t fight with craft, but rather craft-infused weapons. The wok and their pan for rock, a pair of kitchen shears for scissors and a cookbook for paper. Snacks for healing and buffs. And they have a cool friend that lives in the favor tree! [they get in fistfights like every five loops. Maybe it would be funny, someone just as willing to spar with them instead of trying to find the right words they can’t find because they’re a kid, if their friend wasn’t ALSO another version of themself, which bonnie clocks pretty late.] They pick up little quirks from their friends, like biting their nails like Belle, and puffing up to look bigger like Isa and stealing Dile's curses and closing an eye to match Frin's in focus. And maybe they start forgetting a little bit, just a little! The same thing over and over will get to you.

So everything essentially boils down to this. Bonnie specifically needs to be strong enough to beat the King, as the rest of the party doesn’t keep experience through loops. For a good chunk of the loops, they take advantage of Siffrin asking them if they need help and drag him into a training lesson that slowly goes from a whole emotional conversation to them quietly listening to Siffrin’s every word. [Siffrin fills this silence with random star facts that pop into their mind. This Is Important It WILL Be On The Test] Eventually the training becomes too tedious, so they start sneaking off to go fight sadnesses— and eventually just punch trees, which busts their knuckles— to get stronger faster! Everything goes downhill from there, with them forgetting to make food to them sneaking out at night to fight more to them getting reckless and uncaring; it snowballs down into “oh this could be considered suicidal confidence”.

Every loop, you say "hey, I'm trapped in a time loop", and EVERY time it is a big emotional thing that exhausts you to the point of going to bed immediately after, and everyone gets antsy and worried, and in the end the anxiety and trouble NEVER ends up mattering because the King still flattens the party every time. [And (shuffling through the sea of my notes for the au), imagine this from their situation for a second; Today, you tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that makes you cry, and you go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they will protect you, and you will protect them. You make sure he doesn't get squashed by a boulder, you make sure they find the key, you make sure they don't die. Tomorrow, you will tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They will drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that will make you cry, and you will go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they've failed to protect you, but they're trying this loop, and you'll still protect them anyway.]

And then the King fight. He grabs them and he kills them and it fucks them up. [it fucks them up, until it too happens again and again, and eventually it simply is just another obstacle you must pass, because the second his stupid hand wraps around you like a ragdoll it’s over, so you just spit in his face to make him press the trigger immediately and not drag it out for forever- imagine the most traumatic event in your entire life, repeated over and over, until it looses all meaning. It’s still traumatic, it’s sewn into your brain forever you will never forget this.]

They tell the party ‘hey, I just got murdered’, and if this au was ISAT, it would go from having a memory that gave everyone a defense buff to a memory that literally stops you from winning, randomly attaching to a party member. You couldn’t get rid of it. They’d take every hit for you, and you’d have to loop back, because you couldn’t win with an unremovable memory like that. and that’s why they stop saying things, because if the people you loved would die to protect you, something you don’t want and have the ability to stop, would you stop them?

And so everything collapses, and from that point [the start of act 4] it collapses fast.

WHICH LEADS US TO ENDLESS MY FAVORITE LITTLE THANG

if this is transparent or not I don’t fucking know and honestly. After 2 hours of fighting ibisPaint X to make it transparent I stopped caring. o7

Slight design notes tangent: the fucking. Wispy things around their limbs just kinda move around them- yknow because black holes pull things in and they are one. Their like,,,, face spike design??? Question mark on what 2 call it? It’s designed to look like their hair lol. The little star-dot things on their knuckles are important smile. Eventually I’ll post a full thing 4 them (I have like 2 pages of random doodles of them it’s craaazy)

Endless (or Ness, later on) is Bonnie’s loop-alike. They’re a little angry hater and I based them on the song Black Hole Sun [therefore they double-dip in the space theming, the little scoundrel! Imagine being both a black hole and a partial eclipse!! Damn why you taking all the space theming for!!] which was the song the whole AU was based on! Woah! Damn you carrying ALL the out of AU lore in you! They’re anger over fear while Bonnie is fear over anger.

They make me SO fucking upset. Like. I’m not being funny anymore. This is THE most upsetting character I’ve ever written. They make me cry. My entire schtik is making horror and this little creature is the most upset I've ever been at a creation of mine.

Endless is a Bonnie who, without exaggerating, literally imploded from having too much wish craft in them— hence the black hole theme. They went through an unreasonable amount of loops [i think I noted down 400??? Probably not that many, but hey, leveling is slow when half the time you rely on a scripted event that has like 3 enemies. Never really pinned anything down, but it’s a CRAZY upsetting amount.] and just couldn’t win,, and they eventually broke, and begged for it to stop— and, well, with so much wish craft in them, even without the proper rituals the Universe just couldn’t ignore ALL this wish craft, overflowing, in one spot. They asked for help and it killed them.

And then they were at the tree! And they’re helping a DIFFERENT Bonnie, who they’re upset at because what. What why is this happening? They asked for it to stop, not for a whole NEW Bonnie to exist and to do it all over again, what is this what, stop stop it. And they have to keep watching Siffrin wish, and doom them to their endless loop, and they have to tell Bonnie no, the party can’t help them like they want the party to do because the party never could help them, and it’s just going to bring them distress and heartache. Bonnie does it anyways, until the very beginning of act 4: it goes downhill from there, until they’re worried This Bonnie will end up like THEM.

They’re not the most self-confident type. They give themself the most un-nicknameable name [Bonnie still finds one that fits— Ness. They reluctantly accept it.] [Endless vc: Ness? Like? From Earthbound???] they can think of because nicknames are a love language and they speak it, and they don't think they deserve it anymore because they've Changed, and trade out the nicknames they have for the party for things they learned from Siffrin in their own many many training loops: The Sun, The Moon, The Star, The Sky, and Bonnie is Supernova, because its cool as hell and Siffrin told them that’s what happens when a star dies, and they died. Open foreshadowing. They take to closing the same eye they made Siffrin the Star loose, because if he doesn’t get to see anymore neither should they— even if that eventually becomes a natural thing, something they do now to focus. They talk about a sister they have— had, because their world is gone and she never got unfrozen, they never learned if she was alive under all that icy craft or not, and they’re not Bonnie anymore. Ness is Bonnie, but Bonnie is not Ness.

And so, when act 5 hits, they’re desperate. They can’t see it happen again, because it erased them as a person and it was terrifying enough why would you want to see it happen again? they prepare to storm the house, bevause theyre strong enough to tear it apart themself, get stopped by the party, and essentially they’ve replaced Bonnie for a loop; which would be okay, if failing didn’t mean there would probably be Two Endlesses and No Bonnie’s. By the end of the au, Bonnie, lvl 99, is like bringing a brick to a stare down. Endless, in comparison, is like bringing a bazooka to a fistfight. They can’t face the King, they can’t, it would probably mess something up [the party has them pinned as being a kid by this point— wether they realise Ness acts a lot like Bonnie or not, who knows] so they panic and wave the party off into the King’s room and fights off the remaining sadnesses to calm down.

And the Party brings Bonnie down, and they fight a fake version of their sister [who they win against, even if barely, because Nille is their sister and damnit, Nille would never hurt them, not after giving up her life for them] and they have a breakdown, and then there's two of them. There's Bonnie and there's Ness. Bonnie confronts them and they get in ANOTHER fistfight, bveause how else would two angry ultra-powerful preteens settle things, and Bonnie convinces them to come along, because their identity has been found out and damnit Nille really won't care, Ness is her sibling too.

[Nille approaches the situation carefully, but Bonnie is right: Nille sees the two of them and immediately decides she has two siblings and she wants to protect them. Both of them went through so, so much, and they saved the country and damnit it would be monstrous to throw Ness out to the wolves because they Changed. Aka I was physically incapable of letting Ness dissapear or have a bad ending they deserve the world too.]

I just I jsutt. Auguhghghghhh. au too big in my brain spill it out on the floor it goes everywhere. When you hyperfix on your own au

[3vocatio]

solomon really is the devs' favorite, huh. not once have they disappointed with a solomon-centered event, dialogue, or scene (save for the change in his last birthday event). they just... carve him out so meticulously compared to everyone else because his thoughts and actions have flowed so smoothly compared to when we first met him?

when we met him, you could view him as arrogant or a bit odd and eccentric, because the basis of him greeting you seems to be out of curiousity. during his hdd card, he even admits that he didn't pay much mind to mc other than being curious of what they were going to do, but his affections slowly grew the more his eyes were opened to new experiences and perspectives.

now, we get a solomon who doesn't solely focus on his experiments or ancient texts, but also confronts people when they step out of line or cross a boundary because he maintains his ability to be kind. he never insults others, he makes sure that everyone's needs or wishes are met, but not to the point where he sacrifices his own wishes. his recent birthday in which he gifted everyone their modified trinkets & gadgets on his own birthday is proof of that.

if someone treats him with contempt, he normally doesnt hold it against them because he's perceptive enough to note where that bitterness is coming from.

there aren't many people caught up with the hard mode lessons, but (s4 spoilers) he's highly aware of how lonely thirteen is, and comes by to visit her on the rare occassion as though she were a neighbor, much to her disdain. he caught onto simeon's doomed fate far before it happened when he noted how 'different' simeon's philosophies were from the collective behavior that is associated with the celestial realm. once simeon dealt with the consequences, solomon was the first to confront him. again. and again. and again. no matter how much simeon denied it or rejected everyone around him, solomon was the one to understand how lonely it can be to deal with something all on your own.

and it's why we see him agreeing to play cards with mammon although everyone else believes it to be a waste of time, allowing leviathan to be himself when no one else can keep up with his passionate rants, always responding to satan's endless inquiries and gathering cats for his birthday every year, indulging in asmodeus' invitations to go shopping or do spa days when everyone else believes it to be draining, checking on beelzebub when others fail to note his subtle sadness or struggle, inviting belphegor to overview his experiments he needs help with when no one bothers to invite him anywhere because they're under the impression that belphegor will turn them down.

for the less notable people, solomon also cleverly checks on lucifer's state by asking for a pact every time he sees him as a greeting, he constantly works with diavolo to ensure that they both meet compromises for the program, he is the person that barbatos entrusts his own life to (grimoire), he is someone that luke can trust without fail, and as i've mentioned earlier, someone who makes sure that simeon doesn't harm himself or the people around him and visits thirteen's lonely cave even when he isn't wanted there.

i haven't seen much interaction with raphael and mephistopheles when it comes to solomon, but solomon is always happy to finally share his cooking with someone who adores it and makes sure that he helps raphael with chores around (albeit horribly..). if i remember correctly, too, he regularly speaks with mephistopheles behind the scenes.

and as for mc? not once has he stepped over their boundaries. he is confident in himself, but he never assumed anything of mc--in fact, he was the first one to ever show faith in them being able to reach their fullest potential by sharing his own power with them for a few hours, just to see what they could do. he is confident when sharing his affections, but he always humbly backs down when he's unsure of how mc will react. prime example is during the planetarium event where everyone spent time with mc and solomon chose to give mc some space instead of selfishly hoarding them to himself because he noticed how tired they looked, and wanted them to focus on relaxing.

bottom line, though, i think that if you pay close attention to solomon throughout the story, whether it be in devilgrams, events, daily chats, or the main story itself, you'll notice how consistent and well-written he is compared to nearly every character. i enjoy him very much and thought of sharing this with all of you to see what you think :] i'm aware that i'm biased, though, haha--very much so.

[gaykarstaagforever]

The 1999 Mystery Men movie is now free on YouTube, I guess because Universal finally realized that if no one paid to see it when it came out and so no one remembers it, no one is going to pay $3 to rent it.

Which is a shame (for the people who made the movie, who gives a shit about Universal), because it's good. Based loosely on the Flaming Carrot / Mysterymen indie comics of the 1980s (I'm only familiar Cerberus the Aardvark, which the same company published around the same time), it is meta superhero parody in the style of Gunn's Suicide Squad / Peacemaker, just 20 years before any mainstream American audience would give a crap.

This is a universe where there is one real superhero, who is so effective that crime is basically non-existent, so that the sole superhero himself is getting bored. When he comes up with a scheme to give himself something to do, it goes badly, unleashing a notorious supervillain on Champion City. When the Mystery Men, obnoxious wannabe heroes with virtually no powers, try to help, they typically fail, but so badly this time that now they are the city's only hope. Will they put petty grievances aside and learn to work together before Cassanova Frankenstein destroys the entire city?

Well, of course they will. It's a superhero movie. The point is watching fun wacky characters bounce off each-other for 2 hours, and this certainly delivers on that. The cast is a who's-who of 1999 charisma, with notable turns by Geoffrey Rush as the scene-chewing, disco-themed Frankenstein, Wes Studi doing Batman if Batman was doing Yoda, and Tom Waits as a benevolent mad scientist with a grandma fetish. Paul Reubens doing a lisp and Kel Mitchell in blonde Sisqo hair are especially fun as a team within a team, farting and getting naked on their path to victory.

Ben Stiller is the lead, playing a typical Ben Stiller-is-the-lead character, the kind of well-intentioned but self-absorbed incompetent that is charming when Ben Stiller plays him in movies, but everyone would despise in real life. And if you are a person who also isn't a fan of him doing this in movies, you'll also not like it, here. I like Ben Stiller doing this, but Roy here really is a useless pain in the ass until the very end.

There are lots of Gunn-type sitcom jokes about superhero tropes and general goofiness, and similar tonal shifts between slapstick comedy and people being slowly melted. Fans of The Boys will enjoy Greg Kinnear as a G-rated Homelander, complete with product placement on his costume.

It is about 20 minutes too long at 2 hours, and has way too many annoying closeup 90s fight scenes with mediocre choreography. More scenes of just the cast improving should have replaced a lot of this, because this is what the movie is really about. And there is some amazing 1998 CG that is used well, but man. It looks like what it is, certainly.

Props on someone greenlighting a superhero parody movie in a world where the only things to make fun of were the Schumacher Batman movies (Blade, the first "real" Marvel movie, came out the same year as Mystery Men). But it is obvious that only hardcore comic book nerds were going to connect with this, and there were not enough of them, outside of the big mainline "event" comic speculator market of the 90s, to make up for a $68 million budget.

This was made specifically for a movie-going public that has fallen in love with good superhero movies, then gotten sick of them, and appreciates someone making fun of them in a smart way. That is a thing we barely have now, in 2024. Mystery Men the big budget movie really is a thing that was just 20+ years ahead of its time. Watching it feels like watching an episode of Peacemaker that is intentionally aping the style and production design of Batman Forever. I suppose it is worth seeing, just for that.

Also the 90s Hollywood cameos. Dane Cook shows up, unfortunately. No, he isn't funny. He is a "superhero" who burns people with a waffle iron. I realize that may sound funny, but believe me, it isn't when Dane Cook does it.

See for yourself. That scene is in the original Smashmouth video for "All Star". Because that song being from the Mystery Men soundtrack before Shrek is literally all most people know about this movie.

And that's not fair to it. Go watch it.

[five-rivers]

A Star is Born!

AO3

@astatia-ghast

After revealing himself as a ghost (as a hero) (as an inhuman monster), Danny had gotten used to people staring at him.  Even people who had known him for a long time.  Especially people who had known him for a long time.  Something something, couldn’t reconcile the person they knew with the person they admired, according to Jazz.  

Danny had, honestly, enjoyed the attention at first.  It was kind of like with the Yetis!  But the thrill of being invited to every party wore thin fast.  Now he just ignored it the best he could.  

Today, however, was different, and it was really getting on his nerves.  Today, there was giggling.  

So, he normally didn’t mind giggling, but it was coinciding with an awful lot of pointing and whispering.  That, he was less fond of.  

Still.  What could he do about it?  Other than be annoyed.  He was going to do that anyway.  He got his breakfast (the lunch ladies were staring) and sat down at his usual table to wait for Tucker.  Sam was taking a zero period cooking class, and wouldn’t meet up with them until ten minutes before the bell rang.  

“Oh my gosh!”

Danny looked up.  Tucker was standing a few paces from the cafeteria doorway.  His eyes sparkled with emotions Danny had never before seen outside of an anime.  He looked delighted.  

“Danny, dude!” said Tucker, and now he flung his arms out and to the sides so violently the stylus attached to his PDA went flying and would have been lost to the mysterious and forbidden lands behind the breakfast-line counter if not for Danny’s swift use of telekinesis.  “Where did you get those nekomimi?  They look so realistic!”

“The what?” asked Danny.  

“The cat ears!”

“What cat ears?” asked Danny.  

There was a moment of silence as the whispers stopped.  

“He doesn’t know,” hissed someone, their voice carrying easily across the cafeteria.  

“I need to film this.”  There was a mad scramble for phones, PDAs, and in one notable case a full sized TV camera that absolutely should not be on campus.  

“Tucker,” said Danny, “are you telling me that there are cat ears on my head right now?”

“I mean, I guess they could be dog or wolf ears, but, yes.”

Danny raised his hands to the sides of his heads and found his earlobe.  It felt a bit… weaker, more fragile, than it had before.  He traced the sides of his ears up and up and up and…

“Tucker,” said Danny, holding onto the very tips of his ears, “why?”

“I don’t know, man.  Didn’t Frostbite say you might get shapeshifting powers?”  Tucker shuffled forward.  “Maybe you’re thinking too hard about cats.  Do you have a tail and is it fuzzy?”

Danny opened his mouth to say no, but then experienced the always-unsettling sensation of his spine reconstructing itself while he was still human.  Then, to Danny’s mortification, there was a terrible ripping sound and a fully formed and very fluffy tail unrolled itself.  

Across the room, Paulina stood up, a determined expression on her face.  “If you do requests, can you make your eyes green and pretty and sparkly and huge and slitted like a cat’s?  I’ve always wanted to see what that would be like on a human.”

Danny wasn’t intending to take requests.  He didn’t even know what was really going on.  But no one had given his power that memo, so it did it anyway.  

“Wasn’t there a cat guy ghost alr–?” started Ashley.  

“No, we don’t talk about them,” said Paulina.  "They don't count."

More importantly for Danny, who also wanted to forget that particular ghost, the cat (boy) was out of the bag.

"What about wings?  Can you do wings?"

"Make yourself look older and you can buy beer at–"

"Younger!  I want to see what Phantom would have looked like as a baby!"

"Can you do plants?  Oak trees?  Roses?"

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!"

"What about other ghosts?  What about blob ghosts?"

"Ooh!  Ooh!  Can you become a cockroach?"

"No!  Don't make him be a cockroach!"

"Metamorphosis, people!" shouted Mr. Lancer.  "What is– I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream!"

It was really impressive how Mr. Lancer said that all in a single breath.  Well.  Shrieked it in a single breath.

"HI, Mr. Lancer," said Danny, miserably, having become a shambling mound, "can I call home?"

"Can you- can you not… turn back?"

There was a sort of slurping sound as Danny's various body parts rearranged themselves.  

"I don't have a good handle on it yet," said Danny, trying to affect unconcern.

"Involuntarily transforming into whatever people say?" asked Tucker, voice slightly washed out.

"Something like that, I think."  

"Well," started Mr. Lancer.  

The cafeteria doors were thrown open and Mrs. Woods strode in.  "Where is my latest drama star?"  She didn't wait for an answer before shouldering through the crowd and picking Danny up off the floor.  "There you are."

"I'm not in drama," said Danny.  

"Nonsense!  You'll be a natural.  Just imagine all the parts you could play!  We'll immerse you in the world of drama.  Acting.  Staging.  Theater!  You'll have all the drama you can stomach!"

"But I don't want any drama," Danny tried protesting again, but she was already dragging him off.  "To the stage."

"Mrs. Woods!  I don't think I can stomach anything!"

"That's fine!  Many are the great actors who barred from stage fright!"

"It's not stage fright!"  It might have been a little stage fright, but becoming a loose heap of assorted body parts via shapeshifting not five minutes ago was playing a much larger part in his reticence.  "Mrs. Woods, I can’t–"

"There is no can't in drama, only yes and!"

"Isn't that improv?!" wailed Danny as she carried him through the door.  

“Yes, and?”

“My elective is astronomy!”

“And I’m electing to ignore it!”

“Holly!” called Mr. Lancer.  “You can’t just kidnap students!  The time to change classes is over!  We’re halfway through the term, for love of education!”

Like this would be any more okay if it was still the beginning of the term.  

“An exception can be made!”

Sometimes, Danny wondered if Mrs. Woods was a ghost.  She certainly acted like it, sometimes.  Either way, he’d had enough.  He phased out of Mrs. Woods’s grip.  

“No!” she hollered, even as Danny hid behind a horribly out-of-breath Mr. Lancer.  “My star!”

A door down the hallway opened up.  “Are you looking for me?” asked Star.  “Can it wait?  I’m making up a test.”

“It’s not about you,” said Danny.  

“Great,” said Star.  She eyed Mrs. Woods.  “Good luck, or whatever.”  She shut the door with a clunk.  

“So, uh.  Can I go home?” asked Danny.  

“Go to the office and ask if your parents can sign you out.”

“I can fly–”

“You’re sick, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You need your parents to sign you out.”

“William,” said Mrs. Woods.  “You can’t do this to me!  I supported your bid for a field trip to the Shakespeare festival!”

“You did that for your own reasons!”

Danny, wisely, slunk away.  He definitely wouldn’t be coming back until he could control his new shapeshifting powers.

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Some Colress Headcanons!

I saw some posted by @colress-commodore-enterprises and was inspired to write some of my own!

Colress squeaks when he's startled or flustered.

He is the second of three siblings: Lusamine is the eldest, Colress is the middle child, and Darach is the youngest.

Cynthia is his cousin; they get on very well.

Colress has long hair! It's mostly straight, but it does curl a bit at the ends. It falls to around his mid-back, but most people don't know about it because Colress usually ties it into a very low ponytail and stuffs it down the back of his shirt, along with brushing his fringe back.

Contrary to popular belief, his blue loopy is completely natural! Colour AND loop! It's a genetic quirk from his maternal side of the family.

Although absolutely terrible at looking after himself, Colress is absolutely amazing with children.

For whatever reason, Colress seems to trigger an instinctive feeling of safety in children. It's to the point where lost kids will approach him for help rather than the very-visible police officer.

On a particularly memorable occasion, Colress took a nap under the shade of a tree and woke up to being used as a pillow by a bunch of sleepy five-year olds.

Colress has quite the sweet tooth! Although fond of most sweets, his favourites are sherbet lemons.

He has been called a human Delcatty on several occasions. Colress didn’t understand why until Rosa showed him the 'Dex entries for said Pokémon.

He has quite a few scars, some larger than others. They're mostly from his experiments or machine mishaps, but he has a horizontal scar across his throat, courtesy of the Shadow Triad.

He is distressingly good at hiding his problems and/or when he needs help. The most notable instance of this was during his tenure as a scientist for Team Plasma. No one had picked up on the pit of apathy and loathing (directed both inwards and towards Plasma, especially Ghetsis) he had fallen into until Rosa all but kicked down his door and dragged the truth out of him.

He prefers to do the "Forehead Bonk of Love" to show Grimsley affection over kissing. He will, provided he's in the mood for it, but he greatly prefers the Forehead Bonk. Naturally, the Delcatty comparisons increased immensely.

Out of the entirety of Team Plasma, he only got on with (and liked) four of them: Aldith, Barret, Schwarz, and Weiss.

He struck up a delicate bond with Ghetsis' Hydreigon. Said Pokémon is now in his care and is basically a house pet. A very intimidating, very traumatised house pet, but a house pet nonetheless.

To Grimsley’s surprise, despite being abysmal at poker, Colress has a terrifying amount of luck when it comes to games that rely purely on luck. As in, win the roulette five times in a row lucky.

Grimsley jokingly calls him a lucky charm and has managed to coax Colress into joining him as an observer for his poker games in the hopes of his luck rubbing off on him. So far, the evidence is inconclusive.

Colress can't bake to save his life. The only baked good he can make is apple pie, and even then it has a 50-50 chance of going catastrophically wrong.

On the other hand, he is a brilliant cook!

Rosa sees him as a father figure, and he in turn sees her a daughter.

Colress LOVES plants. He's an avid gardener, and an anonymous someone keeps on entering him into gardening competitions. Not that he's complaining TOO much; the winnings provide some nice extra income.

It took a long time for him to stop flinching at the sound of someone walking with a cane.

Although very honest about what he did in Team Plasma, he is incredibly reluctant to reveal his personal experiences working for them. Looker can only assume they weren’t good; that scar along his throat is particularly telling.

Colress is actually a very anxious person; he's just very good at hiding it.

He gets on remarkably well with Looker. They inevitably butt heads over some things, but Colress can easily call the man a friend.

Despite being built like a noodle, Colress is stronger than he looks!

Colress used to babysit Lillie and Gladion for Lusamine, back when they were tiny.

He and Darach get along quite well. It's just that they're both so quiet and introverted that people think they're ignoring each other.

He and Lusamine bicker the most; it's usually friendly ribbing or silly spats, but sometimes things can turn nasty. They still love each other regardless.

Colress hums or quietly sings when he's happy during his work. The Frigate never had the luxury of hearing this.

When he squeaks, Colress can sound remarkably similar to squeaky Pokémon toys. On several occasions, Grimsley and Rosa have had to extract the man from underneath the fluffy excitement of their Houndoom and Arcanine.

He and Schwarz once made an unholy concoction they called "The Insomnia Shot". There's so much caffeine in it that only people with the highest tolerance can drink it, and only out of shot glasses. After being kept awake for four days, crashing, and sleeping for a week, the two vowed to never let its recipe see the light of day again.

I may add more as they occur to me.

They were fun to write, too!