#took me like six months but yay another chapter!

[ladedanixie]

title: flowers are the way to a girl’s heart

relationship: jester/beauregard/yasha

summary: hanahaki au/multichapter

Chapter 3 Summary: Beau fucks up. Coughs up some more flowers. Jester deals with some feelings. Everyone’s not having a good time.

Fic Summary: Her dad always told the same old stories at parties. But, drunk one night, he told a different story. About the flowers that he would spew every waking hour he couldn’t be with her mom. The love of his life. It only left him once he had confessed his love. It’s what people meant when they said you were lovesick, he said. Burns you up inside hot enough that everyone can see it, or just makes you start coughing up flowers.

She had thought her dad was talking shit like always, but turns out it’s true. She should have guessed after she found out the hag was real too. Beau was in love twice over, and now some weird dumb love magic was punishing her for it.

[unrequitedloveletter]

Cal, my love, how are you???

If heard your call for Kaz x Reader requests. If LOVE to see what you come up with for Kaz x Grisha!Reader (I'm feeling inferno, squaller, or Durant, but obviously it's up to you!) where the reader gets sicker and sicker from not using their small science! It's such a fascinating concept to me and hardly ever explored!

Back To Normal- K.B x gn! Squaller! Reader

Okay, hi! It's been nearly two weeks since you sent this in and I did write it! Editing it just took me longer than I expected and I woke up after a nap last night to discover that I have a bit of a cold developing so I couldn't edit the remainder of it and post it like I'd hoped, but I got it done today so yay, I hope you like this one!

This concept is one I've never seen a fic for but one I've debated writing a fic around in the past because the concept in and of itself is a really intriguing idea to me, and this gives me an excuse to write it and also an excuse to write a squaller! reader, which I've thought about doing but have never actually done, so I was really excited when I saw this in my inbox! Thank you so much for sending this in, and if it's not exactly what you had in mind, feel free to reach out and let me know, I'll totally rewrite if you'd like lol.

Fic type- hurt/comfort with moments of angst

Warnings- mentions of sickness, frailness, feelings of weakness, heart palpitations, loss of appetite, and there's reference to the second chapter of Six of Crows so slight spoiler warning too for people haven't read the books

As a Grisha, once your abilities to summon the small science were discovered, there were consequences for not summoning. You grew sick, your body grew weak, your bones fragile and you felt frail, even the smallest actions leaving you winded.

It was the universes way of punishing you for not using the gift you'd been given, another show of like calls to like. Refraining from summoning calls to sickness, and summoning calls to health.

You'd read Grisha theory, both in your time at the Little Palace before you left in the last few months before the war and in the time since, in the times wherein you needed something to read and happened upon a book containing Grisha theory and figured it would be good to pass the time.

You knew that you wouldn't last if you didn't summon, but you eventually stopped finding reason to. Nobody in the Dregs knew you were a squaller, and what good did wind do, anyway, unless it was summer and grossly humid as Ketterdam always got when the weather warmed up? You saw no point in using your small science, so eventually, you just stopped.

For a while, the differences weren't really noticeable. You didn't notice them, nobody in the Dregs noticed them, none of the crows did. You hadn't relied on your abilities as a Squaller since you'd lived in Ravka, and before you'd decided to stop, you mostly used them in summer or when Kaz needed a distraction in the middle of a negotiation in the rarer times they'd taken place outdoors, something to put the opposition a little on edge.

But then, they became noticeable. You stopped sleeping quite as comfortably as you used to, spending hours trying to get comfortable, trying to will your mind to quiet. You woke up and took to coffee to keep you awake, often running on between two and four hours to boot.

Because of your tiredness, dark circles developed under your eyes. Your appetite lessened and you grew to be tired all the time, even on a rarer night where your body rested for seven or eight hours. You still relied on the coffee even then, and Nina was beginning to take notice of the fact that you hardly ate.

Kaz had long taken notice of the exhaustion you exhibited even after jobs that you'd always considered pretty easy, ones that didn't require as much effort, as much physical strain, as the bigger heists always tended to.

Jesper had long taken notice of how much coffee you drank, the fact that you always seemed to have jurda on you even in the middle of the day, and Inej noticed it when your pace began to slow, afraid to walk at the pace you normally did because you didn't want to risk heart palpitations.

Wylan was beginning to notice when those heart palpitations kicked in, was the one to grab your hand and look at you, brown eyes silently trying to ask if something was wrong only to receive nothing in response.

One by one, each of the crows noticed something, and still, none of them said a word. They could've been wrong, they knew. All of them acknowledged that they could've been dramatizing things, making things out to be worse than they actually were.

The only one who was sure of the things they'd noticed was Kaz. You were someone who mattered to him. Of course he was going to notice if you were out of sorts. Observance was his pedigree.

So, one day, Kaz showed up at your door. "What's wrong?" He'd asked. "What is wrong with you, Y/N?"

You'd laughed, a lame, tired laugh. You'd barely slept three hours, and the long-term exhaustion was starting to finally have an impact. Kaz's tone was humorless, blunt like the edge of a knife gone too long without being run across a sharpening block.

It was normally gravel, normally coffee grounds being poured into a coffee press, but it was not that, not that day. It was the unsharpened edge of a knife, the voice that did not belong to the man you loved but rather to one they called Dirtyhands.

"What's wrong with me?" You asked. "Nothing, Kaz. Nothing is wrong with me."

"Exhaustion," Kaz said. "You drink coffee and chew jurda near constantly. You sleep hours after jobs that aren't even tiring. You are constantly tired because you can't sleep unless you are at the point wherein your body will die without resting. You get two hours most nights, four, six, on luckier ones. Nina has also noticed that you eat less lately. Wylan says you've been having heart palpitations and Matthias has noticed you zoning out. Why?"

"Why do I feel like that's a rhetorical question?"

"It's not. Stop trying to flirt."

"I'm not trying to flirt," you laughed again, a shallow, hollowed out version of the laugh Kaz recognized. "If I were trying to flirt, you'd know. I would know it was working because your cheeks would be tinged pink, which, of course, is something you'd deny."

Kaz laughed humorlessly once more. "What, are you sick?"

You paused. Some part of you had known he'd guess at that. With that realization came the one that he already knew why you were sick. Inej must've known, must've snooped for Kaz when the trust you shared was still developing. He was Kaz Brekker, and he had to know somehow, didn't he?

"You're a Squaller," he said, the words falling from his lips like they were something he'd forgotten, like the fact that you could summon the wind was something he'd merely heard and disregarded after having deemed it unimportant. "You're a Squaller, and you're one who hasn't summoned for at least six months. Why not?"

"I saw no point," you said. "Let me guess, though, you've known since I came in, since I joined up?"

"I've known since the night we confronted Bolliger about double dealing," Kaz said. "Geels, the negotiations. It was the day before--"

"The day before you came to me with the Ice Court proposition," you said with a nod. "I remember. What tipped you off?"

"The breeze," Kaz said. "It was late winter, and breezes like that are commonplace, sure, but after a bout of rain? Wind like that doesn't just happen. Especially not considering the fact that it nearly tipped Geels over, and Geels was nearly seven feet tall. It gave me something to use in the moment, and I just kind of noticed whenever you'd do it while I was falling short from then on. Nobody else knows."

"Well you'll need to grant me some leniency, Brekker. I stopped summoning because I didn't see a point."

"if the point of summoning is to keep you alive and healthy, I have to say, I see no sensible reason that one would stop," Kaz said. "You're deteriorating. I know you think it can't get any worse, but it can, and it will."

"I know," you said. "Relax. Let me find the proper time, when it doesn't feel like it'll be an inconvenience, and I'll give it a go."

Kaz looked at you solemnly for a minute before he nodded.

"Right, then," he said. "Work needs doing." He turned to go, and you watched him leave, not saying a word as he left, only closing your eyes and hoping for even another few moments of rest.

-

The next time you summoned, it was June and you hadn't summoned in a year. You were sitting in Kaz's office, the window open as you discussed heist plans with him, Jesper, Inej, and the rest of the crows.

The heat was growing unbearable, so you willed a strong breeze to flow gently through the room, making the area feel a bit colder, much to everyones delight. Kaz shot you a look because Ketterdam in the summer was not prone to breezes on humid days like that one, and you felt some of the energy that was long gone move back into your system, a spark of joy and pride at your small science lighting up in your chest.

You allowed yourself a small smile as you leaned back in the chair you'd occupied.

You were still sick, still frail and tired and coffee-reliant, but you were getting back to normal. You decided, in the moment, that that was what mattered.

[buckysimp101]

Everything the Light Touches (18+) - Chapter Seven

Mafia!Bucky x F!Reader

chapter warnings: language, threats of sexual violence, non-con touching, angst

a/n: surprise shawty! told y’all you wouldnt have to wait as long for this chapter! hope the follow up here makes up for it. just a heads up, it’ll probably be Sunday before I update again, but you get two updates this week! yay! thanks again for reading, please forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes, and let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! (p.s. this chapter is almost 4k words friends, buckle in. it gets...to be a lot)

Series Masterlist

A whole month going on dates with Liam Stinson was…a lot. Not that he was so bad, just there never seemed to be a chance to fully take a breath. He took you out at least twice a week to dinners, to the movies, to his parents’ house. Hell your own parents even invited the two of you to dinner at their place a couple of times. You knew why you were going on so many dates with Liam. A little piece of your brain was telling you that word would make it back to Bucky that you’d been going on dates with Liam and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

Was it a little petty? More than a little. But did you care? Not really. After the gala your dates with Liam felt only slightly forced, and Liam had calmed down a little. He wasn’t leering at you as much, in fact, he was rather doting. Part of you was unsure if it was because of his status as a Senator, and if dating you was part of his way to seem more ‘down to earth’ or if he genuinely believed there was something between you two. You’d managed to stave off any intimate displays of affection, preferring to over a hug or a kiss on the cheek.

After about a year of living in California, you sure didn’t live like a nun. After going to therapy and figuring out what you wanted to do with your life, Wanda made sure to get you out on the dating scene as soon as she could, and as soon as you were willing. You’d had a couple one night stands, a couple dates, and one or two guys who you’d dated for about six months, but nothing ever felt permanent, and Liam Stinson was no different. Your parents were thrilled that you’d gone on multiple dates with Liam, but Tony was a different story. When you had told Tony and Pepper that you’d be going on a few dates with Liam Tony had almost frozen in place. You attempted to find out what was upsetting him he just brushed it off saying that it was nothing and he was thinking about something else. Pepper’s exact words when you told her were, “so long as you’re happy, sweet girl.”

Wanda on the other hand had cackled like a witch and almost peed herself when you told her about how you’d agreed to go on another few dates with Liam, mostly to spite Bucky. Wanda had said “Barnes deserves worse than being jealous of your happiness, but it’s a good start.” You had plans to cut Liam off soon, but first you had to act as his date to a party hosted by his parents. Alexander and Marsha had rented out Gustavino’s for their party. If there was one thing that Alexander and Marsha were going to do…they were going to show off their money.

“Oh my dear you look so beautiful,” your mother cooed as she hurried to pull you into a hug as soon as you entered the venue on Liam’s arm. She’d sent a blush pink dress to your apartment prior to the event stating that it would be perfect for Alexander and Marsha’s party. You usually hated when your mother tried to dress you up like a doll, but you’d allowed her this one thing. Standing at the entrance of the venue you allowed yourself a moment to take in the extravagance of the party in front of you. Before you could even ask Liam or your mother what they were celebrating Marsha and Alexander were making their way to you, pulling you into their arms for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. They made sure to tell you and Liam to make yourselves comfortable and Liam took that to mean introducing you to every single person. The more people you met, the more overstimulated you became. Liam tried to ply you with glasses of champagne but what you really wanted was an Old Fashioned, but you played the role of the dainty date well, no matter how uncomfortable you were becoming around the sleazy smiles and the suffocating perfumes. Liam’s arm never left your waist, in some cases he’d squeeze your waist and look at you in a way that made you slightly more uncomfortable than you already were.

Liam’s friend Caden approached you, what appeared to be a slight bruise healing around his eye. His eyes raked up and down your figure, the feeling of his gaze making you wish you had some way to cover yourself up. “What a nice little trophy you’ve got tucked under your arm, Stinson,” Caden leered, licking his lips like a wolf eyeing its prey. You stiffened at what Caden said, hoping that Liam would dismiss his friend and allow you to leave, but he merely grinned a cocky grin and moved his hand from the small of your back to rest on your hip with a squeeze.

“She is, isn’t she.”

Your head whipped to Liam’s face, disgust filling your eyes as you took in the smirk growing on his lips. You attempted to wrench yourself out of his grip but he merely tightened it, pulling you closer to his side before leaning down to whisper, or rather hiss, in your ear, “behave, sweetheart. Don’t make me look bad.” 

Your fight or flight tendencies were at war with each other. Part of you wanted to slap Liam then and there for what he was saying, the other wanted to just flee the room and never return. You couldn’t help but wonder where this side of Liam was coming from, or how long he’d been hiding it, but you did not like it and you were not going to let him talk to you like that.

“You don’t need me to make you look bad, Stinson. You’re doing that your own fucking self,” you hissed as you finally managed to yank your body away from him, stalking away to find your parents and let them know that you were leaving. It felt like each man you passed was staring at you in a way that made you want to crawl into a hole to hide from their prying eyes. You swore at one point you thought you heard someone whistle at you but you merely ignore the building discomfort and continued on your path towards your parents. Your mother looked confused at your determination as you approached her and your father.

“Mom, dad. I’m leaving. Dating Liam was a mistake, and I’m going to go home, I love you.” You bent forward to offer your mother a kiss on the cheek but she dodged your lips at the last moment, raising an eyebrow and looking at you with disdain. 

“Oh honey, the party’s just getting started. We can’t let you leave yet.”

A chill ran down your spine at the words your mother spoke, unsure of their meaning but before you could even question what she meant, Marsha and Alexander were making their way to the middle of the floor with a microphone. 

“Welcome everyone, Marsha and I are so happy to have you all here for this wonderful celebration,” Alexander spoke, smiling at his guests. You didn’t want to be rude but you were ready to go so you attempted to side-step your mother, only to be stopped by your father taking hold of your wrist. Your head snapped to face him, the expression on his face was dangerously neutral but borderline threatening. 

“We’re so happy to announce, with the lovely blessing of Y/M/N and Y/F/N L/N, the engagement of our son Liam Stinson and their daughter Y/N L/N.”

The room exploded in cheers and claps, while your world seemed to turn upside down. The chill running down your spine earlier turned into full blown disgust and terror as you looked at your parents with wide eyes. They both just stared at you, obviously awaiting your response.

“That’s a good joke…I’m…leaving… way to get Alexander and Marsha in on it, haha,” you spoke as you pulled your wrist out of your father’s grip and slowly backed away hoping to wake up from whatever crazy ass dream you’d ended up in. Only to back right into the solid chest of Liam, grinning with that same cocky look he had earlier when Caden was speaking to the two of you.

“Come, fiancée, time to give the people what they want,” he added with a wink as he pulled a ring box from his pocket and practically shoved a large diamond ring onto your ring finger.

“Liam what the fuck are you talking about. We’re not engaged, hell we were hardly fucking dating,” you spat, trying to pull out of his grasp. His hand wrapped around you tight enough to leave bruises. But it wasn’t Liam that responded to you, it was your father.

“Oh honey, you’ve been Liam’s your whole life. Now it’s time for you to play your part and solidify our alliance with Pierce and his…family.”

Tears pricked hot and heavy, threatening to spill as you took in the words your father spoke. You noted how serious he was and the use of the word ‘family.’ It was the same way Bucky used to speak about his role amongst his father’s men. That’s when you realized, Alexander Pierce was mafia and your parents were marrying you right into it. Before you had the chance to fight and argue Liam was pulling you away to the center of the floor for a dance, yanking your arm to his shoulder as your diamond ring caught and reflected the light. Your head was spinning. You needed to get out of there. But you knew if you tried to leave now someone would either stop you or find you before you could get help. So you took a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing, and focused on not breaking down in the middle of the dance floor. Alexander and Marsha grinned evilly from the places next to your parents as Liam swung you around the floor. 

When he finally slowed down he leaned in to your ear and whispered, “If you don’t behave like the perfect fiancée and give me everything I will make you. I will tear you to pieces, just to put you back again. Then maybe I’ll give Caden a go, maybe some more of my father’s men. I’ll let whoever wants  to touch you, do whatever they want. Maybe that will make you the good, submissive wifey you were raised to be. Hmm? You want that?” 

Liam’s words had you holding back vomit and tears. They were disgusting and horrifying and just a glimpse into the life that you’d unwittingly ended up in. Liam’s hand came up to your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes, “I said. Do. You. Want. That?” He spat and you shook your head furiously at his question. A sharp smile took over his face, obviously happy with the submission before him. 

“Good. Now be a good little slut and give me a kiss, huh?” Liam’s question had you shaking your head furiously yet again but he didn’t take no for an answer, instead he crashed his lips into yours, making you whimper in fear. This time a single tear managed to slip down your cheek as you attempted to pull from his touch. “Don’t you fucking dare embarrass me, or my threat will become your reality,” he hissed against your lips before pulling away with a fake smile plastered on his lips as the song ended. Applause sounded throughout the room and the next thing you knew you were being descended upon by half of Manhattan congratulating you and Liam. You let Liam do all the talking, unsure if you could even muster up a thank you, especially when you definitely weren’t thankful. 

Marsha ran up to you and gave you a kiss on each cheek and a hug before whispering, “you’ll be such a beautiful bride. I can’t wait for my grandkids.” The thought of a forced future with Liam had you ready to run yet again but you managed to hold out. Your parents congratulated the two of you with the fakest looks you’d ever seen glued to their faces, but not a hint of pity or sadness resting in their eyes. In fact, they looked rather proud at the fact that they’d manipulated their only child. An hour passed, and you finally managed to sneak away. Sneaking being the kind word, you’d practically threatened Liam that you would be sick if you didn’t go home and he wanted to keep up the appearance of a happy, healthy relationship as he pressed a kiss to your cheek and sent you to your apartment. The second you stepped foot out of Liam’s car and watched it drive out of sight you were running to your own vehicle. Tears were pouring down your cheeks as you started hyperventilating, the reality of what you’d just been involved in bringing you to the edge of a panic attack. 

WhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckJUSTHAPPENED! Your brain kept repeating the mantra over and over as you drove to the home of the only person you could think of.

Parking in the parking garage and running up the stairs you approached Tony and Pepper’s door and banged as hard as you could, hoping they’d be awake at this hour. The door wrenched itself open and you practically fell into Tony’s arms. Your sobs wracked through your body as you began shutting down in the arms of the only parental figure that actually mattered. 

“Hey kiddo, shh, it’s okay. Let’s get inside and we can talk more. Come on, I need you to breathe. In and out, kid. In and out, don’t shut down on me,” Tony was worried, you’d never broken down like this in front of him. In fact, he couldn’t remember a time he’d ever seen you this emotional and he’d worked with you for years now. Pepper disappeared into their apartment to make you a cup of tea as Tony pulled you tight to his chest and attempted to calm you down by rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Kid, I need you to tell me what’s wrong. Who do I need to kill?” Tony attempted to joke, hoping it would calm you down, but it had the opposite affect and caused you to cry more as you realized how fucked you were. When you could finally speak without hyperventilating or breaking down further you told Tony everything. How everything with Liam had apparently been planned for years by both your parents, how everyone had lied to you, the things Liam had said to you and what he’d threatened. Tony took it all…better than you anticipated. He didn’t react with a crazy outburst, no the rage and anger simmered behind those warm brown eyes. Pepper gasped and even cried herself when she heard but it was Tony who sat in quiet contemplation for a few minutes after you relayed the events from earlier. 

“We need to go. There’s only one person I know who can help you,” Tony spoke, his words guarded and more stiff than you’d ever heard coming from his mouth. You didn’t have time to question him as he led you to his car and had Happy drive the two of you away from Stark tower. On the car ride to wherever Tony was taking you he was asking questions about who all you’d seen at the party, making a mental list of the names and trying to see if he could come up with any connections, the memories that came up when you answered causing you to break down into another fit of sobs at the remembrance of your parents’ betrayal and manipulation. You didn’t even pay attention when the car came to a stop and Tony pulled you into a tall building and led you up the elevator to the top floor. He approached a door, as if he’d been here a million times, banged on the door and flung it open. He pulled you to the center of the door frame, tucking you under his arm, as he exclaimed, “oh boys…we’ve got a fucking problem.”

Your eyes focused then as you took in the wary and worried faces of George, Bucky and Steve, and other members of the Barnes family that you hadn’t encountered in many years. Your breathing caught as you realized the one person Tony trusted more than anything was George Barnes. 

“What’s the meaning of this Tony?” George questioned quietly as if trying not to scare you anymore than you already were. You noticed Bucky and Steve’s eyes focused solely on you, a little more of a look around the room led you to see Natasha and Sam were in attendance as well. A part of you hadn’t realized that Sam and Natasha had become members of the family, but it made sense. Natasha’s father Ivan was loyal to George until death just before your graduation, and Sam was close with Bucky and Steve. Being in the company of the people who had abandoned all those years ago made you curious if you’d made the right decision going to Tony tonight. But where else could you have gone?

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong Georgie. Y/M/N and Y/F/N are a couple of nasty ass cunts, pardon my language, who are trying and have seemingly succeeded in marrying Y/N like a fucking brood mare to Liam fucking Stinson!” Tony spat, George’s eyes widening as he took in the words. “Apparently, they’ve been planning it for a while. Y/N here told me their exact words were they wanted to ‘solidify their ties to the Pierce Family.’ The fuckers are working with Pierce. Probably have been for decades.”

“How is this possible…how could we have missed that?” Natasha spoke up, asking the question that seemed to linger in the atmosphere. Your attention had been pulled to your shoes, not wanting to show your face and the vulnerability and brokenness that had made its home in your eyes and your heart to this group of people.

“That’s a great question, Little Red Riding Hood. But not the time. We have to help her, Barnes. Liam threatened her himself, threatened her with his men,” Tony’s tone emphasizing the last word so he didn’t have to relay the exact words  Liam had said to you. The memory of his words causing you to shiver in disgust and terror yet again, a new set of tears making their home in in your eyes and down your face. 

“Y/N, child, I need you to look at me,” George spoke softly, pulling your attention from your shoes to his face slowly. Your eyes flitted to Bucky’s, the anger and pain resting their enough to make you inhale deeply and turn your focus back to George. “I need to know, and I need the truth. It’s the only way I can help you. I need to know if you knew about your parents’ affiliation with Pierce’s family?” 

You shook your head, denying any knowledge, and took a deep breath before giving him a verbal answer, “I didn’t even know Pierce had a…family like you until tonight. I just thought my parents were really close with him and Marsha…I’d never have gotten involved if I knew the truth, Mr. Barnes,” you spoke clearly, your voice wobbling at the last bit. You snuck a look in Bucky and Steve’s direction and you could practically hear Bucky grinding his teeth and you swore that the latter was about to punch a hole in something, or someone. 

“I knew.” Bucky’s acknowledgment of you and the situation had your head swimming as you took in the meaning of his words. More disgust ripped through you and apparently George as well because you both glared at him.

“What do you mean ‘you knew’ son?” George growled, the tone he used making you shift uncomfortably in the doorway.

Bucky took a deep breath and told the whole room the story of that night at your parents’ house ten years ago. Ice flowed through your veins, but was eventually melted by white hot rage as you learned the reason why James Barnes left you all those years ago. The fact that he’d believed you to be involved with your parents’ scheme had you crying yet again, except this time they were tears of rage. The room was silent for a moment before shouts were coming from four different people, you, Tony, Sam and Natasha. Apparently this was the first time he’d told anybody besides Steve the truth.

“How fucking DARE you! Why the fuck didn’t you talk to me, Bucky!?” (You)

“I am two seconds from murdering you myself little Barnes. If daddy wasn’t here your brains would be splattered on that wall,” (Tony).

“This fucking misunderstanding is what made you force me to abandon one of my friends!? You’re lucky Steve is holding me back,” (Sam).

“Barnes, when we get out of here, I’m kicking you in the balls so hard you’ll never have children. My best friend, James. My best fucking friend you made me LEAVE!” (Natasha). Steve was actively having to hold her back, she was the one he feared would actually act on her threat.

Bucky sat quietly, taking the anger and threats of all his friends and his former love. You stewed in the anger, ready to give him another verbal lashing when George spoke up.

 “Enough. James, we’ll talk about this later. Y/N, I believe you. I’m sorry this has happened to you and I am truly disgusted in both the ways your parents have acted, and the way my son treated you. But there’s only one way that I know we’ll be able to truly protect you. And it may be the very provocation that Pierce needs to start a war. But without this, I can’t promise that the family can protect you, I need you to know that,” George spoke calmly and clearly, making sure you were paying attention to him fully. He’d done a good job because everyone in the room seemed to be paying full attention to him. 

“Mr. Barnes, I’ve run from the arms of those who are supposed to protect. The ones who are ready to marry me off to a vile man as a pawn in their elaborate game of chess,” you sneered, essentially writing off your family with that one sentence, “but I’m not stupid enough to think that they’ll leave me alone if I just leave. I’m willing to accept the family’s help, even if it may lead to war.”

George nodded solemnly and took a deep breath before speaking again, “I hear you. I’m afraid the protection we can offer, is one of family.” You tilted your head, questioning his phrase, your eyes catching Bucky’s as his widened and his knuckles turned white where they gripped the table, he obviously knew something you didn’t.

“I’m afraid I’m not following, Mr. Barnes,” you questioned slowly, hoping for a clearer response. Another deep inhale and George Barnes spoke again.

“We can offer protection. But only if you become a member of the family. And to do that…you’d have to marry James.”

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[denizaksoy]

was that DENIZ AKSOY i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the TWENTY-SIX year old who has been in nightrest for HER WHOLE LIFE and works as a PODCAST HOST has a reputation of being CURIOUS, but also FINICKY. they reside in LOW POINT & people in town usually associate them with THREE AM WRITING AND RESEARCH, NOTES APP OVERFLOWN FROM IDEAS, SHARING STORIES UNDER THE EVENING SKY. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next.

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏  

deniz's love for mysteries and story-telling sparked when she was just a kid and her parents would read and act out chapters from books. growing up there wasn't much she had to worry about. she was loved, cared for and she was lucky enough to receive most things she wanted.

a few months after the start of her senior year she got a phone call that changed everything. her parents were out in boston signing their latest release. on their way to the car they stumbled on people trying to hotwire their car and her father stubborn as ever approached them. months, then a year later their case went cold. she tried to move on, but it didn't come easy when she knew they didn't receive the justice they deserve. that's when she took it to social media and by luck their story went viral and their investigation was relaunched, months later she finally saw them face trial and prison.

𝒏𝒐𝒘

what she went through piqued her interest in cold cases with victims and families that never felt closure. she dropped out, moved back in her family home and her first podcast was born - untold murders, focusing on old and recent unsolved cases. nowadays she has two more podcasts - sinister society, focusing on crimes and serial killers. hidden in plain sight, focusing on conspiracy theories.

𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

she spent around two years in new heaven for college.

has two cats - cheddar, an orange cat & daffy, a black cat.

enjoys watching horror movies, especially slashers.

turned one of the rooms in her house to a studio.

she's pretty much an 'influencer' but you'll never hear her say that

will talk your ear off

𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

they used to date a while back, either in new heaven or nightrest and they wanted to leave, if new heaven, she wanted to go back to nightrest, but they didn't. or if they wanted to leave nightrest she didn't want to, because she feels closest to her family this way and loves the little town despite all the troubles here. and now she's like, you said you didn't want to stay in a small town wtf. one or both could still have feelings, we can make this as messy as you'd like yay

another failed romance omg. around the time she started her second podcast her head was nowhere but work. eventually romance was gone, and it was barely even a friendship, let alone a relationship. one day they just looked at each other and realized all of it was just gone. possible chance of currently reconnecting as friends.

as casual as it gets. they hooked-up one night and it sort of progressed to frequent hook ups, they lowkey act like a couple, but they aren't. they're both jealous when they see them with somebody else, but labeling it might ruin everything. better this than nothing right?

someone who doesn't like her? enemies in general? will this be another one of my muses to tussle with someone?

give me anything messy i love it. hurt me.

childhood friends! and friends in general

co-host for one of her podcasts, or a brand new one. throw anything at me and i'll take it.

someone she invited to talk about what's happening in town for one of her specials covering the murders that happened here.

someone who pushes her to focus more on people than work

neighbors

drinking buddies

any wc you have you think deniz will fit

love her

give me everything

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, so here we go.

As per usual, this also means an open question night--my askbox is always open, but I'll be actively keeping an eye on it tonight. I do take prompts, but am not necessarily fast in filling them. Any fandom I've posted about here or on AO3 is fair game, as is any of my original stuff.

Short one this month, because I didn't get much done last month, whoops...a big work project took up more brainmeats than I expected it would, ah well.

Mostly moved, mostly everything is sorted; a few things I still need to finish organizing/putting away/etc. But that should also free up some brainspace hopefully!

Anyway. Actual updates.

Star Wars:

Pretty much the same as last week--need to catch up on OTP meme fills; poking back at my original plan for last year's SWBB so I can use it for this year. Not a lot of progress, but hopefully this month will be better!

BSG:

Big Bang matches have gone out! I'm excited to see how everything turns out. And hopefully get actually back into writing the many plotlines that are floating around in my head, lol...particularly The Other Battlestar which still needs an Official title and has been waiting to come out of my head and get Shared for like. over a year. even discounting the like 8-10 year gap when I wandered away from the fandom...

I should be picking up my rewatch soon, too! I have the back half of season 3, plus season 4, and maybe the webisodes (I have access to Face of the Enemy but not Resistance, so we'll see if I actually watch those). Which does mean we're coming up on my absolute least favorite episode in the entire series, haha. I haven't even gotten to it yet and I'm already mad about it (and have found an Additional Reason to be mad about it that I hadn't had before! Yay!) But also after that I get Lampkin, who I love, and while season 4 is a mess in terms of cohesion/continuity it has some of my very favorite episodes in the entire series, So.

Castlevania:

I haven't actually sat down and watched Nocturne yet (mostly because of the aforementioned work stuff), so I haven't quite fallen back into this fandom yet. I do want to get back to Incinctus, and I had one other plot thread idea for another fic based on the first series (essentially, shifting Alucard's S3 timeline by six weeks so the night Sumi and Taka plan to attack him is the same night Greta's messenger gets there, and then see where things go from there).

It's kind of interesting--I have approximately zero knowledge of the games, apart from a few bits and pieces I've picked up from reading fics and/or hanging out on a discord server. Which, of course, has been talking a lot about Nocturne...but almost entirely in the context of how it relates to the game characters/plotlines it's drawing from. Which means I'm both...more and less hyped for it? I don't know, I'm not sure how to word how it's impacted my interest/excitement/etc. for the followup series, because a lot of the comments about certain characters/choices completely fly over my head but they Dominate the server and I'm like "...okay?"

Anyway, we'll see how I feel about it when I watch the series. And if I do end up building a VC crossover in my head (because like. armand and the theatre are right there and while I was able to confine myself to a quick Easter Egg reference in Incinctus...lol.)

Les Mis:

The next chapter of P&J is coming, I swear. Also planning to debut Acheron this month because...I mean I know it's technically a Groundhog Day AU set in June, but it feels appropriate to start posting it around Halloween? IDK XD

Original Fic:

Again I do need to catch up on OTP memes. I do like the one piece I put out this month, which was about the Horsemen in Lux. They're a Delight and I love them.

...yeah, that's about it. Like I said, short post this month because I didn't get much actual writing done last month. Hopefully October will be better for me (if nothing else, hopefully I actually will catch up on all the backlogged OTP Meme fills, lol...)

[grazhir]

Drive Corruption

LOL

[I'm not laughing, actually.]

The folder containing all Samsara projects is corrupt and cannot be opened. This is after doing a drive repair (and Windows is telling me some other drive is corrupted, yay—are some of my hard drives failing? maybe I should get a second external and start moving shit, or clear out the one I have, which I filled with stuff I thought I wouldn't need maybe, and if I hadn't touched it six months later I should just wipe? it's probably been several years, so clearly, whatever is on there isn't vital).

Good thing I have back-ups, right, and copies on the cloud? I made a new folder and un-zipped back-ups into those, fixed the shortcuts.

Another story had one chapter with a missing { which caused all sorts of hassle, so once I got that open (fifteen minutes it took to open) I copy/pasted the contents of it and both note panes to UltraEdit, deleted the chapter, emptied the trash, and created a blank to paste back into. Backed it up again.

It's a damn good thing I stopped using formatting aside from text justification, because the way I do it now preserves my marks when something like this happens.

Like, compiling and exporting to .epub makes an italicized word change to strange shit like: <span class="scrivener3">word</span> rather than doing the SANE THING like <em>word</em>.

.epub files use XHTML, so why the fuck...? Seriously.

I turned off automatic back-ups for Scrivener and am doing them manually, unzipped. I just can't trust it right now.

I use [word], so I can do a Find/Replace on those. Same for anything meant for small caps (like Samsara's Mist writing) or other symbols that aren't generally found in the coding of a page.

I copied all .mp3 files from the media drive to space on another. Funny how not one track skips or pauses now. A repair on that corrupted some of the tracks, so I'll probably just have to wipe those folders and replace them.

ETA: yeah, fuck that noise. Just ordered a new external + travel case, 5TB. I will wait to repair anything else until everything important is pushed over, so that if corruption happens again like my Samsara folder going bye-bye, well...

Because right now drives G, I, and J are showing "need to repair" status. I can't offhand remember the physical drives and how the non-SSD are partitioned, but if those three are the same physical drive and it ends up needing to be replaced? Well. Better to be safe.

I probably won't get rid of the old external (it was originally my Windows drive from the old machine, I think, formatted clean), but even if I did, I will have plenty of space on the new one to push that shit over.

ETA2: yeah, those three are the same physical drive, along with H and X. Definitely time to prepare in case of the worst and I have to pull that drive and replace it.

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part two] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A failed friend date turns into a day of fun and laughs with a rather odd coworker. [Dazai x 1stPOV!F!Reader]

3,274 words

Warning: suicide ideation (like, it's Dazai, c'mon now.)

note: I'm glad some of ya'll seemed to enjoy chuuya's chapter! I decided to just upload Dazai's and then we can move on to the story. Please enjoy! Tags in the replies.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Keiko-- Keiko, it's two PM!" I said into the phone, sending an apologetic look to my coworkers. "And I'm at work. You can't be calling me, especially when you're drunk so early in the day."

"Uggghhhh, you're so mean!" I sighed softly at Keiko's response, the office phone on my desk beginning to ring.

"Keiko, I have to go now, I'm sorry! Call Taichi and tell him to bring you home."

"Wait-"

I ended the call, rubbing my eyebrows as I picked up the other phone. "Armed Detective Agency, how may I help you?"

It's been around three months since I've started working at the Agency, and I have to say, it was a pretty great job. It paid well, kept me on my toes with the many different cases we took on, and my coworkers were great... despite how weird they were.

"That's like the seventh time your friend called you this week," Ranpo spoke up from his desk, the man literally surrounded by snack wrappers.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyebrows. "I know, I'm sorry everyone. She's not usually like this... I know she likes to drink, but... never to this extent."

"Maybe there is something going on?" the cute Atsushi suggested and I frowned. "Maybe you can try to find out?"

"It wouldn’t be wise to just push yourself into someone's private life like that," Kunikida added and I nodded in agreement.

Of course I couldn't. Not with who her boyfriend was. I was her best friend, but even I knew not to step in. "Besides, she always says she's okay when I ask..." I said thoughtfully, too distracted to continue my work. I could believe her, right? Besides, she had Taichi. He loved her, and always made sure that she was protected and taken care of. He always made sure to be around her when he wasn't away, keeping her to his side at all times. I thought maybe he was being a bit too protective, but I also understood because of his... profession.

"Alright, alright, we have a schedule, people. Let's not get too distracted here," Kunikida exclaimed and I laughed softly. The only one with a schedule was the super punctual man himself, but I still went on to do my work.

"Speaking of work..." I started, unimpressed as I Iooked to the empty desk across the office. "Where the hell is Dazai?"

Atsushi just hung his head and sighed, Kunikida gritting his teeth at his desk. "I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up," Atsushi sighed again and I huffed, standing up from my desk. "I'll take my 30 now. I'll be in the cafe and I'll try to get Dazai to bring his scrawny ass to work."

The Agency was on the fourth floor of the building while the cafe was down on the first, very convenient for me. I was lazy and the coffee and food was good. I dialed up Dazai's number as I descended the four flights of stairs, pressing my phone to my ear.

At the top of one flight, I stopped when I heard a familiar ring tone blare out, and when I looked down to the bottom of the stairs, I saw the man of the hour. His brown hair was wavy as ever, his signature tanned jacket looking immaculate. I watched as he just looked at his phone, watching it ring before he put his phone in his pocket.

I hated him. "So you were just gonna ignore me?!" I shouted down the stairs. Dazai whipped his head up, eyes going comically wide.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, practically running up the stairs right towards me. I gasped and back away quickly, back hitting the wall as Dazai caged me between his bandaged arms. His forehead pressed against mine and I will my face not to burn as he looked at me with those pretty brown eyes of his. "I missed you."

My heart skipped a beat, my mouth going dry. Still, I glared up at the man. "We just saw each other yesterday," I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the feeling of his soft breath against my face. I was thankful my voice didn't crack. "And you have plenty of paperwork to do still on your desk."

"Ehhh, I'm tired and I'm busy," Dazai nonchalantly waved that off, now standing away from me and waving his hand dismissively. "Got better things to do."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah? Like what?"

With that, Dazai took my hands in his, a hopeful look on his face. Here we go again. "Double suicide."

"No." I immediately declined him. "My answer is still the same as it was last week."

Dazai visibly deflated, covering his eyes dramatically. "Sweet death... she evades me yet again..."

"Yeah," I deadpanned, brushing past Dazai and heading down the stairs. "Anyway. I'm heading to the cafe to get something to eat."

"Oh!" Dazai exclaimed, hooking my arm with his as he quickly came up to my side. "I'll go with you!"

"You have work to do!" I yelled at him, trying to push him back up the stairs. "Go before Kunikida has an aneurysm."

"But I don't wanna!" Dazai whined, quickly turning the tables on me. Now he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me and pinning my arms to my chest. I felt his breath against my left ear and I shivered deeply. "I wanna spend time with you..." he whispered softly, his voice dropping. I bit my bottom lip, looking over at him over my shoulder. I shivered again, the usual brightness in his eyes gone. I've only seen that look on his face a handful of times, and it never failed to make me feel completely on edge. Like I was in danger.

I liked it.

"Ugh," I sneered, rolling my eyes and shaking myself out of his arms. "Fine, fine. I'll treat today, okay?"

"Yay!" Dazai's jovial nature returned as he followed me to the cafe. I shake my head at the strange duality of the man. We sat across from each other, the redheaded waitress named Lucy that obviously had a crush on Atsushi giving us some menus.

As I looked over the menu, I looked over at Dazai, the man humming as he mulled over his choices. I bit the inside of my cheek, just feeling that maybe there was more to Dazai than he let on.

The weekend soon arrived and I was in a bit of a sour mood. I was at the boardwalk, sitting on an empty bench after getting off the phone with Keiko. We were supposed to spend the day together, but she had called me thirty-minutes late, all of a sudden saying that she couldn't make it.

Her tone of voice worried me, she sounded rushed and breathless, totally unlike her. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for flaking out so suddenly," she said before she ended the call. I blinked at the screen, a bit put off by the entire thing. Just what was up with her?

Though I couldn't dwell on it, for there was a presence behind me. "Well, well, look what we have here," a teasing voice whispered into my ear before blowing into it. I shrieked, jumping off the bench before spinning around.

"Dazai!" I hissed at the laughing man standing on the other side of the bench. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Bet it got your heart pumping, huh," Dazai hummed happily, skipping around the bench and right over to me. "Bella, I missed you~" he hugged me tightly in his arms. I sighed deeply, half-heartedly wrapping my arms around him in return and giving him a pat on the back.

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Eighteen hours is too long, bella."

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from the huge and giving Dazai a look. "You're so dramatic, dude," I say with a laugh, shaking my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Hmm, well I thought this would be a great place to think about how to commit suicide," Dazai began and I gave him another look. "But, I saw my bella looking so sad and lonely! I just had to rush to comfort her!"

Dazai hugged me again, squeezing me tight. I let out a struggling breath, writhing a bit in his hold. "You're killing me!"

"Oh! Let's commit do-"

"No, oh my God!"

I turned and stormed away from the suicidal man, shaking my head when I heard him call out for me. "Bella, wait!" He latched onto my arm, pressing his cheek against mine. "Tell me what's wrong. I am your trusted friend and coworker~"

"More like trusted pain in my ass," I mumbled before sighing, walking over to the boardwalk railing and staring out into the ocean. "It's Keiko. She was supposed to be with me today, but she just called and canceled..." I frowned deeply, eyebrows pinched in worry.

"What else did she say?" Dazai asked quietly, having gone serious once he saw the look in my face. "How did she seem?"

"Off..." I answered immediately before I looked over at my companion. "Or am I just imagining things? Yeah, I'm disappointed she flaked out but...." I hung my head. "I don't know..."

"Well, it could be nothing," Dazai suggested. "Or it could be something. There's no way for you to know."

I made a face at his vague ass answer before sighing again. "I can only trust her. She was the first friend I made when I moved to Japan, and I was excited to see her today. I've been having a rough time lately."

"Is something bothering you?" Dazai asked, and I shivered feeling his gaze on me.

"Eh... just depressed," I answered offhandedly. "Lonely. Normal sad girl shit, ya know."

That made Dazai snicker under his breath. "Yeah, I know. But luckily for you," Dazai started, arm draping around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "I'm here to save the day!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed before I wrapped my arm around his middle, letting him hold me against him. "You'll hang out with me today?"

Dazai grinned. "It would be my pleasure."

Time flew by so quickly, that I was surprised to look at my phone and see that it was damn near seven in the evening. Gaping, I looked up, seeing that the sky was slowly turning dark. "Holy crap, Dazai. Did we really spend the whole day out here?" I asked in shock, looking over at him. "What the hell did we do?!"

"What didn't we do," Dazai whined, slumping against me. "I'm tired... and you still wanna ride the stupid ferris wheel!"

"It's not stupid," I said with a pout. "Besides... we're already in line."

"Meh," Dazai grumbled, still keeping his body pressed against me as we waited in line. He was behind me, his chin pressed on my shoulder. I tried not to shiver as I felt his breath along my neck.

Soon enough, we were in our carriage and slowly riding up to the top. I took a few pictures as we did so, Dazai looking over in amazement.

"You think the drop from up here would kill me?"

"Yeah, and would scar everyone here."

"Oh yeah... can't have that."

I rolled my eyes, glancing over at him and pausing for a bit. Dazai was still looking out over Yokohama, an expression I've never seen before on his face. He almost looked... sad. Very handsome, his side profile absolutely perfect. But he still looked sad. I took a quick picture, smiling as I looked over it on my phone.

The carriage stopped and I couldn't help but grin as we just swayed softly up in the air. "Thanks for spending the day with me, Dazai. It would have sucked if I had spent it alone."

"Ahh, don't sweat it, bella. I couldn't possibly leave you out here alone," Dazai answered dramatically and I laughed and rolled my eyes. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and I grabbed my phone, smiling at the cute selfie that Keiko sent to me.

'I'm so sorry for bailing! I'll make it up to you, I promise! ❤ mwuah'

"Is that Keiko?" Dazai asked and I nodded, sending her a quick reply.

"Yeah. She seems to be doing okay," I said, feeling a bit relieved.

"That's great!" Dazai exclaimed, getting up from his spot and carefully making his way to sit beside me, much to my horror.

"Dazai! We're not supposed to move around!"

"We're fine!" he waved me off dismissively. "Now you can stop worrying about Keiko and focus on what's important. Me."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You?"

Dazai hummed. "Yes, me. And how I'm taking you home tonight."

My jaw drops, face heating up at his words. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Dazai answered, his voice dropping a bit as his gaze and entire mood changed. His gaze was darker now, his lips curled up in an almost dangerous smirk. "I think it's time we stop tiptoeing around each other and just take what we really want."

My mouth went dry and I quickly became flustered, turning my head away. Immediately, a hand is grabbing my face, Dazai digging his fingers into my cheeks as he forces me to look back at him.

"Nuh uh, you look at me when I'm speaking."

His authoritative tone makes me freeze, heart pounding in my chest as I stared at Dazai, completely bewildered. I knew there was something more about him than he had let on, and whatever it was, had me in fight or flight mode.

"Now, when we're done here, we're gonna leave and head back to my place, okay?" he asked me, but his tone made it seem like it wasn't a request, and it sure as hell didn't match the seemingly innocent smile on his face; not when it didn't reach his eyes.

I nodded, Dazai removing his hand from my face. His smile sent shivers down my spine.

"Good."

"Mmn... fuck, Dazai..." I moaned and gasped softly, the man on top of me littering my neck with angry red and purple marks, two of his fingers working inside my pussy. I was completely naked on his bed, Dazai only in his underwear-- and his bandages still wrapped around his arms and chest.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" Dazai whispered against my neck, curling his fingers and smirking when I cried out. "Call me Osamu. Don't make me tell you again."

I frantically nodded my head, crying out again as he sped up the pace of his fingers, his mouth moving down to my chest. "F-fuck, Osamu!"

"That's it," he whispered, taking one of my hardened nipples into his mouth. My fingers curled into his soft brown hair, head tilting back and eyes screwing shut as Dazai continued to pleasure my body.

It wasn't long until he pushed his hard cock into my wet pussy, the both of us groaning at the feeling of us finally connecting. I was on my knees and elbows, pillow placed under my hips. Dazai started out slowly, biting his lip as he watched his dick disappear inside of me.

"Fuck... I'm gonna burn this sight into my memory," Dazai groaned, making me whine as I shook my head.

"D-don't stare like that..."

Dazai chuckled softly, his hands grabbing my hips as he started to move faster, thrusting harder. I moaned and whined, it seemed to be the only thing I could do while Dazai fucked the shit outta me. "Osamu... please..."

My whining made the man above me grin widely, his thrusts becoming rougher, almost wild as he suddenly reached out and grabbed a handful off my hair. I yelped when he yanked me up, my back now pressed against his chest and his other hand wrapped around my throat.

"What is it, bella?" he hissed into my ear, pounding away at my pussy and making me cry out again. God, it was too much all at once. "What does my pretty little subordinate want?"

I whined. "I want to cum... please Osamu..."

He cackled, pushing me back on the bed, grabbing my hips so hard, I knew I was gonna bruise. "Cum then," he hissed down at me, pushing my face into the mattress. He fucked me relentlessly, fingers finding my clit and rubbing harsh circles. That made my vision go white, my scream muffled as I came hard, body going rigid as pleasure overtook my body.

"Shit, you're squeezing me so tight," Dazai grunted. He pulled out, ignoring my whines as he stepped off the bed. "Get on your back."

I barely rolled over halfway until there was a strong grip on my ankle, my body being pulled down the length of the bed. Dazai stood at the end, wasting no time in pushing my legs back by the back of my knees, and plunging his cock back into me.

I looked up at him through teary eyes, and I knew I should have been afraid of the mad look that was in his eyes, the way his lips were curled up in a snarl. But it just made my pussy clench around him in arousal, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

I came a second time as he did his first, and much to my ultimate pleasure, we weren't finished there. We pleasured each other through the night, until we wore each other out and fell asleep entangled in the sheets.

I woke up the next morning, groaning in pain as I felt my body ache. I forced myself to sit up, looking around blearily and humming softly when I found Dazai sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare back to me.

"Good morning," he sang to me and I giggled softly, carefully moving to kneel behind him. The blankets fell from around me and I pressed my bare chest against his back. "Hm, that's nice."

"Morning," I said softly, peeking over his shoulder. "What are you do-"

I stop, staring as Dazai wrapped seemingly clean bandages on his heavily scarred left arm. I swallowed thickly, my mind running at what could have possibly been the cause of those scars.

But deep down, I knew that the cause was Dazai himself.

"Do... Do you have enough?" I asked softly, not knowing what else to even say. I didn't want to pry or seem insensitive, just having to get over this metaphorical punch in the gut myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Dazai answered, turning to face me with a cheery smile on his face. In a matter of seconds, I was flat on my back, Dazai on top of me with his lips pressed against mine. It was easy for him to make me forget about what I saw, his kisses stealing my breath away.

"I have to go," he said softly, pushing himself off me after a moment.

I nodded solemnly, watching him continue to get dressed. "Alright. See you at work tomorrow?"

He smirked at me. "You know the answer to that."

I rolled my eyes again, just as my phone started to ring. I grabbed it, sending Dazai a quick smile before answering the call.

"Hey Keiko, guess who got fucking laid." That made Dazai snort while I grinned, though my grin fell as I didn't hear Keiko go off like I thought she would. "Keiko?" I shared a look with Dazai.

"Hey... I need you. Can I come over?"

[galvanizedfriend]

Hi! :) How are y'all doing? Here are some life updates nobody asked for! Confession time: I have not been reading a lot of fics lately. I feel so guilty about this because I have added so many fics to my TBR, and there are so many that I started and didn't finish, and yet I have had no time to get to them. Instead, I have been reading a lot of books! With the amount of work I've had over the last couple of months, I feel like it has to be one or the other, and after spending the unholy year of 2020 basically reading nothing but fanfiction, I kinda missed getting lost in books. I have read four books in the last month-ish, am half-way through my fifth, which is the most I've managed to read book-wise in a very long time. Still not nearly as good as my best, tho. I used to read five or six books a month easily. But I'm proud of myself for the break-through on my book shelf. I have soooo many unread books it's kind of embarrassing. My kindle wants to sue me for negligence. I have also been watching more TV! Again, not something I had been doing a lot. I spent a really long time prioritizing writing over catching up on TV shows, and now I am cruising through so much stuff. Have just started The Nevers - nothing to write home about - and got all caught up with Mare of Easttown, which is GREAT. I finished the fifth season of Lucifer, which sucked, and also watched the Son of Sam docuseries on Netflix. I just love true crime shows. This one reminded me a lot of I'll Be Gone In The Dark, because the real subject of the series is not the serial killer, but rather a person (in this case, a journalist) who got obsessed with investigating the crimes to the point it took over his whole life. Really sad, but fascinating stuff. With all that, you'd think I haven't had time to write at all. But I have been writing! :D I have finished two drabbles, one long story, wrapped up a headcanons chapter I had been stuck on since DECEMBER, wrote down the rest of the headcanons structure and started another fic, which I'm three chapters in. I have no idea how any of this happened, but it did. Mystery! I guess it helps that my country is in shambles and I haven't been vaccinated so I can't go anywhere and have to stay at home 24/7. Yay! :D #ContainsIrony

So anyway, this is me! Hope y'all are healthy and happy and that life has been treating you well! :)

Here, have a pretty reader Elijah gif!

[let-the-dream-begin]

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 29: Butterly

Chapter 28

Read on AO3

The rest of August flew by. The power was restored a little over a week after the storm had initially hit, and getting Faith back into her normal routine (sleeping in her own bed, brushing teeth in the bathroom) was a bit of a struggle. Dismantling the fort had been a feat as well; Faith was not at all happy about it. Claire would absolutely not sleep on the floor, but she couldn’t bring herself to force Faith to sleep alone with no nightlight or option to turn the lights on, so she’d been allowed to sleep with Mummy until the power was restored.

September was upon them, and with it, the terror of a day that Claire had been anticipating with dread and excitement for months.

On September ninth, Faith was going to school.

In the middle of August, Claire had rearranged her work schedule to be able to take her to the orientation, tethered to Angus. They’d been picked up by the bus together so that Faith could practice with a school bus. The orientation leader had been extremely kind and helpful, showing them the whole school before they got to the special education room. It was a different district than the one they lived in, but Mrs. Lickett (and Claire’s research) had told her that this was the best program for Faith’s specific needs. The classroom was smaller than the others, but her class was only eight children altogether. Claire had heard horror stories of special needs children in a classroom that was essentially a glorified closet, no windows, no color in the room. So when the room they entered was nothing short of the most adorable, sunshine-y kindergarten classroom she’d ever seen, Claire could have cried with relief.

Each child’s individual aid was waiting in the classroom, including Carole, Faith’s aid. She’d been told about Angus and what he was specifically meant to help with in terms of Faith’s behavior and education. He’d responded well to a few experimental commands from Carole, and Faith seemed to like her well enough. Miss O’Reilly was the teacher’s name, and she gave a small sample lesson to demonstrate for the parents, and for the children to practice. Claire hung in the back of the room with the other parents, who all looked equally as terrified as she was.

Watching Faith at her little desk, her aid pointing to her pencil and paper, whispering in her ear to encourage her participation, was overwhelming. She was squirming a bit, turning around occasionally to reach for Claire. Angus was dutiful, however, nudging her, applying pressure in her lap with his head to bring her back, to calm her down.

She can do it. They can do it. Together.

Claire took the day off for Faith’s first day; she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on a damn thing at work, and she didn’t feel like being responsible for people’s lives while her mind was otherwise occupied. Jamie insisted on taking the day off as well, on being there to see her off on the bus, and then staying with Claire like her own emotional support animal. She’d insisted he didn’t need to, though it was a rather weak insistence, because she knew deep down she needed him.

He had arrived promptly at seven o’clock, being that Faith’s bus was to arrive at eight-fifteen. He seemed surprised to find her fully dressed already, full-well knowing by now that his girlfriend was not a morning person. He’d apparently expected her to be in her pajamas.

“I hardly slept last night,” she admitted, standing aside to let him in. “I finally gave up around five, got dressed around six.”

He smiled with sympathy and gently pulled her in for a brief kiss. “I didna sleep much at all either.” He pulled her in for a comforting embrace, and his heartbeat in her ear did wonders for her nerves, if only temporarily. She felt his breath on the top of her head, and he pressed another kiss there.

“She nervous at all?” he asked.

“I don’t know, it’s hard to tell. I’m not sure she realizes that I won’t be going with her this time.” The thought sent her stomach turning again, filled with dread over Faith’s heart-crushing realization that Mummy was sending her away.

“Aye, suppose we’ll find out.” He pulled away to offer her another smile, and she craned her neck to kiss him again. “Here.” He produced a paper bag from behind his back, and Claire started, not even having realized he’d been holding something the whole time. “Picked ye up a wee treat fer breakfast. Ye deserve something better today than those crumbly chunks of oat ye call a meal.”

Her eyes smoldering with affection, she took the bag and peeked inside. “Granola bars are quite good for you. Fiber and protein are important.”

“Perhaps. But so are taste buds.”

She rolled her eyes as she shuffled away, depositing the bag on the kitchen counter. “I’ll eat it later. Could you get her cereal ready while I wake her up?”

“Aye, certainly.”

They brushed past each other in the doorway of the kitchen, and Claire entered Faith’s bedroom, her heart hammering in her chest.

“Angus, come,” she said lightly, and the previously sleeping dog sprang up from his spot beside Faith, trotting next to Claire. She sat down on the edge of Faith’s bed and began stroking her head. “Faith, darling. Time to wake up.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and Claire was greeted with a sweet, absent smile.

“There she is! Good morning, lovie.” Faith sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Do you know what today is? It’s the first day of school! Yay!” She signed applause, and Faith copied lazily, her hands apparently not totally awake yet. “It’s time to get up and get dressed. Do you want to look pretty for school, Faithie?”

Faith nodded excitedly, giving a little hum.

“That’s right. Up we get now, come on.” Claire stood up and went to the dresser, picking up the  blue dress she already had lain out. “Look at your pretty dress, baby. You’re going to look so pretty. Yes?”

She gave an excited little hop, and she raised her arms up, indicating she was ready for Claire to pull her pajama shirt off. Claire chuckled and obliged her, talking to her gently as she got her dressed. Claire insisted she give her a twirl when the dress was on, and Faith was more than happy to do so. Dressed and twirled, Claire loosely pulled half of her wild curls up, then clipped the tartan hair bow at the base of the ponytail.

“There. Pretty dress, and Merida bow. You’re all ready.”

Faith hummed loudly, jiggling her hands, and she followed Claire into the living room, trailed closely by Angus.

“Look who’s here, Faith! Special for you on your first day of school!” They entered the kitchen, and Faith practically launched herself at Jamie, throwing her arms around his legs right where he stood at the counter.

“Ah, there she is! Good morning, my braw wee lass!” He cupped the top of her head, and looked up at Claire as his fingers brushed the hair bow. “Ye’re a proper wee Scot today, aye? Wearing the hair bow I gave ye?” He pointed at the bow, and Faith giggled.

“It’s her favorite. Of course she had to wear it for such a big day.”

Brimming with affection, Jamie crossed the room, swinging Faith as she clung to his leg, and pressed a sweet kiss on Claire’s lips. Claire giggled into the kiss, the silly image of him wearing her daughter on his leg impossible to ignore.

“Alright, little monkey. Let Jamie go, please. Time for breakfast. Angus first.”

Faith obeyed, marching over to Angus’s bag of food and dumping the scoopful into his bowl, and Jamie handed her the pre-measured cup of water for her to pour into his water bowl.

“Good girl,” Claire said warmly as Angus already began digging in. “Your turn.”

A bowl of Cheerios was already waiting on the table, and Jamie hurried to pour the milk in. “Didna want it to get soggy while it waited fer her.”

Claire’s heart felt fit to burst for the fifth time that morning. Before Faith had interrupted, Jamie had been cutting up an apple at the counter, and he finished up before putting the plate next to Faith’s cheerios.

Having finished his breakfast in a matter of seconds, as usual, Angus was free for Jamie to pet and coddle while Claire carefully arranged Faith’s lunch and snack in her Frozen lunchbox.

“See, Faith?” Claire said. “Lunch is all ready to go.”

Faith looked up from her cereal to give a thumbs up.

On the way home from orientation, as a reward for being a good girl, Claire had stopped at Target and let Faith choose any lunchbox and backpack she wanted, along with a few folders and fun pencils. They were all Disney, of course, mostly Frozen dominated.

“These are for school, lovie. All of your favorites are going to help you be a big girl in school, yes?” Claire had said while Faith filled the shopping cart. Faith had simply hummed contentedly, smiling dreamily.

Claire checked said backpack about eight times before Faith finished her breakfast, and she heard Jamie coaxing her to drink the milk leftover in her cereal bowl.

“To make yer wee bones grow big and strong, a leannan.”

She re-entered the kitchen to see him popping an apple slice in his mouth, making an absurd face, and Faith squealed, shaking her head.

“If ye dinna want me to steal every slice, ye’d better hurry.” He picked up another slice, and Faith tried to grab it, but he stealthily dodged her and popped it in his mouth. She squealed with laughter again, and then countered by popping a slice in her own mouth.

“Och, I wanted that one.” Jamie leaned back with contrived exasperation, crossing his arms. Faith giggled incessantly, and Claire had to bite her lip.

“Ridiculous human being,” she said, shaking her head.

“Can Mummy have any apples d’ye think?”

Faith squealed and adamantly shook her head, curls flying wildly.

“Oh, I can’t?” Claire challenged, crossing the room to join them at the table. She swiped a slice off the plate and popped it in her mouth, and Faith shrieked. “You heard him. You’d better hurry before we finish them.”

Faith ate another slice, looking back and forth between the adults like a little conspirator. They carried on like this, Jamie and Claire bringing slices to their open mouths, but then depositing them into Faith’s instead.

Eight o’clock came much too soon, and Claire cleaned up in the kitchen while Jamie led Faith into the living room. When Claire joined them, Jamie was giving her a quiet pep-talk while tying her shoes, her pink princess sneakers that didn’t at all match what she was wearing, but that she insisted on wearing no matter what.

Claire picked up her backpack when Jamie finished, not wanting to interrupt. “Alright, lovie. Ready?”

Faith nodded, extending her arms and allowing Claire to put the straps over her shoulders.

“There you go. All ready for school.”

“No’ quite,” Jamie said, reaching behind him into his back pocket. “I’ve got something special, Faith. Since ye’re such a big girl now, going to school and all.” He produced a tiny plush brown horse, attached to a little hook. “It’s a keychain, fer yer princess backpack.” Faith smiled, reaching out to hold it. “It’s a wee Pippi. See? She’s even got the white spot.” Struck by the familiarity, Faith stroked the white snout gently.

“Aye, very good, lass.” Jamie smiled widely. “Since ye canna take yer noble steed to school, or Horsie, I figure this’ll have to do.” He gently pried it from her hands to clip it to a loop on the backpack strap where she could reach it. “I’m very, very proud of you, Faith. When ye miss yer mam, I want ye to give wee Pippi a squeeze. Alright?”

They exchanged a thumbs up, and Claire almost burst into tears.

“I’m very proud of you too, baby.” Claire joined them, kneeling beside Jamie in front of her. “You’re such a big girl now.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “Are you a big girl? Big girl, Faith?” Claire signed big girl, and Faith bounced with excitement, signing big.

“Yes, good girl.”

They spent the last few minutes before the bus arrived trying to coax her to uncover her face long enough to get a picture of her first day of school outfit. Claire and Jamie took turns being in the pictures, and Jamie even insisted on getting a selfie so they could all (Angus included) get into one picture.

There was suddenly a honk from outside, and Claire’s stomach lurched. She looked up at Jamie with terror, and he gave her hand a squeeze.

“Angus, come,” Jamie called, and he made quick work of getting him vested, leashed, and tethered to Faith.

Claire stood up and opened the front door, waving to the bus driver. She turned back to see dog and child ready to go, Jamie holding her hand.

He looked just as terrified as she felt.

Together, the four of them made their way down the steps to meet the bus, and they stopped a few feet away from the curb.

“Okay, baby. There’s the bus.” Claire said, kneeling in front of her on the concrete. “Are you ready?”

Are you ready, Beauchamp?

“It’s only for a few hours,” Claire said, perhaps more for herself than for Faith. “And then you’ll be home again with Mummy. Yes?”

“Ye’re gonnae have lots of fun, Faith. Show Angus to all yer new friends, learn sae much,” Jamie chimed in.

She was not humming, but her hand was jiggling at her side, and Jamie grasped it.

“It’s alright, mo chridhe.” He pressed a kiss to her little knuckles. “It’s alright.”

Claire bit down fiercely on her lip. No tears until she’s gone.

“I love you, baby.” Claire held up the sign, forcing a tiny smile. “I love you.”

Faith returned the sign, touching her thumb, finger, and pinky to Claire’s as their foreheads rested together. They held the sign and their embrace for several lingering seconds, until the constant chugging of the bus’s engine reminded Claire that time was still passing.

“Alright. Hugs.” Claire pulled her in for a quick hug, fervently kissing the top of her head.

“A hug fer me too, lass?” Jamie said tentatively, and Faith did not hesitate. He pulled her in and kissed her head as Claire had, offering her a wide grin when they pulled apart. 

“Alright. It’s time now, baby.” Claire and Jamie stood up, each taking one of her hands and leading her to the bus. Carole was waiting at the top of the steps, smiling kindly.

“Hi, Faith,” she greeted warmly.

“Hold onto the railing, now,” Jamie said quickly, releasing the hand he was holding so Faith could grasp the metal railing.

Claire had to force herself to let go of Faith’s other hand, her heart stinging as Carole took it instead. She hesitated at the top of the stairs, stopping Carole from pulling her into a seat. Faith turned around, and Claire thought she was going to faint. Jamie seemed to read her mind, and he desperately grasped her hand, squeezing like his life depended on it.

Faith looked like she may cry, and her hand was jiggling in a way that both of them knew was not happy.

Angus pressed the top of his head into Faith’s side, and she laced her fingers in his fur, ceasing her jiggling.

“It’s okay, baby,” Claire choked out. “It’s okay.”

Angus stayed rooted in place, waiting patiently for the panic to pass, and Carole looked back and forth between girl and dog, and the anxious couple.

“Ready, Faith?” Carole gave her a thumbs up, and Faith turned away from Jamie and Claire to look up at her. “Ready?”

Faith returned the thumbs up, removing her hand from Angus.

“Okay. Let’s go sit.”

The doors to the bus closed, and Jamie and Claire staggered back, clinging desperately to one another. The bus lingered for several more seconds, and Faith soon appeared in one of the windows, or rather, her eyes and forehead did. Carole was talking to her, waving through the window, and Faith started waving, too. Claire and Jamie waved wildly with their free hands, and then the bus was pulling away, and Claire felt a piece of her heart leaving with it.

As soon as the bus was out of sight, Jamie crushed her to him, and she finally released the sob she’d been holding back.

“It’s alright, mo nighean donn,” he crooned into the top of her head, rocking her gently. “That was the worst part. Dinna fash, now. She did it.”

Claire wept quietly into his shirt, not caring if any one of her neighbors decided to peek out their window and see them on the curb. She felt his tears in her hair despite his calming words, and she held him tighter.

He was right; the worst part was over. She’d imagined so many different scenarios that ended either with Faith bolting off the bus, or with Claire dragging her down herself. She’d imagined Faith screaming her head off, red in the face with tears, inconsolable even by Angus.

But that hadn’t been the case.

“What if…what if she’s crying now? Just after we couldn’t see her anymore…?”

“She has Angus. He’s quite good at his job, ye ken.”

“I know, but she…” Claire couldn’t put words to her exact fear. “What if she’s not ready? What if I’ve just thrown her to the wolves…?”

“Ye’ve done all ye can to prepare her. Ye got her excited wi’ her supplies, ye trained her dog fer this moment fer months. If she canna handle it after all that, it’s no’ yer fault.” He kissed her head, and she felt its warmth reach her outermost extremities. “If it doesna work out this year, she’ll be all the more prepared next year. Mrs. Lickett said it’s alright if she’s no’ ready ’til next year.”

Claire nodded against his chest, sniffling loudly.

“Carole said she’d call if there was a problem on the bus. So there’s no need to worry, aye?” He pushed her away just enough to look into her eyes, and she nodded. He kissed her gently, brushing away her tears as he did. “Let’s go inside. Ye’ve got quite a tasty muffin waiting fer ye in the kitchen, if ye recall.”

She forced a tiny smile, hiccuping a bit. “I hope I don’t vomit it up.”

“If ye do, I’ll hold yer hair and rub yer back.” He put his arm around her shoulders and led her up the stairs. “Then I’ll get ye some saltines and ginger ale and take care of ye.”

She sighed and leaned into him. “I don’t deserve you.”

He scoffed. “Ye deserve to be taken care of, ye stubborn fool.”

She couldn’t help but smile as they entered the apartment, Jamie shutting the door behind them. “Thank you. For being here today. I think it helped ease her mind. And I…” She swallowed, catching her breath. “I really needed you.”

“Aye. I ken ye did.” He kissed her soundly again. “Come on, now. No more weeping. Breakfast time.”

——

Jamie did his best to distract Claire; it really was a valiant effort. They tried sex, but when he could see that her mind was elsewhere, he stopped, not wanting to force it when she wasn’t fully with him. Admittedly, even Jamie was struggling with that particular activity today. And he’d never had that problem before.

They settled on watching mindless television, but it didn’t do much for either of their nerves. He could feel Claire’s pulse going far too fast against his body, and Jamie’s fingers continued tapping anxiously on his thigh, his leg jiggling.

They were on perhaps their tenth episode of The Office, the sandwiches Jamie had made and tried to force Claire — and himself — to eat sitting untouched when Claire’s phone rang.

He swore Claire might have been having a stroke given the way she completely stiffened in her seat. She scrambled for the phone, resting idly on the coffee table.

“It’s the school,” she stammered, simultaneous with accepting the call. “Hello?”

Jamie’s stomach lurched, and he was grateful Claire put the phone on speaker.

“Hi, is this Miss Beauchamp?”

“Yes.”

“Hi, this is Miss O’Reilly, Faith’s teacher.”

“Yes, hello,” Claire said impatiently. “Is she alright? What’s happened?”

“Everything is okay, don’t worry. I’ve got Faith here with me. She keeps signing ‘mom,’ and she got more and more distressed every time, so we thought we should call you so she could hear your voice.”

Claire flashed a heartbreaking, guilt-ridden look up at Jamie. “Yes, give her the phone. Thank you.”

In a few seconds, the sound of sniffling came through the receiver, and Jamie instinctively grabbed Claire’s hand, squeezing for dear life.

“Faith? Hi, baby, it’s Mummy.”

Claire’s voice was wavering.

“It’s okay, lovie. I’m here. Jamie is here, too.”

“Hello, Faith,” Jamie chimed in. “It’s great to talk to ye.”

“I know you miss us, we miss you too,” Claire said carefully. “Don’t cry anymore, baby. It’s okay. You’re going to be home so, so soon. And then you get Oreos, remember? And a sticker.”

Mrs. Lickett and Claire had worked to put together a system where every day she went to and from school without a problem, she got a sticker on the sticker chart. She would earn little prizes for every filled row, and then, once the whole chart was full, she earned a big prize.

“I know you can do it,” Claire continued. “You’re such a big girl.”

“Aye, Faith, we’re verra proud of you.”

“That’s right,” Claire said. “I love you so much, baby. I’m doing the sign. Can you do it?” She paused for a bit. “I love you. Can you please give the phone to Miss O’Reilly?”

“Okay, thank you Faith.”

“How is she? Did that help?”

“I think it did. Now, just so you know, she did wet herself at her desk. And I know you said that she hasn’t really had bathroom issues in a while, so I assume it was just the stress.”

Claire’s grip tightened painfully on Jamie’s hand.

“Yes, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think she’d…”

“It’s okay. It happens to someone on the first day every year. It usually doesn’t happen more than one more time. She’s wearing the clean clothes you packed with her.”

“Ehm, okay,” Claire stammered. “Thank you so much.”

“Okay, I’ll call you again later to let you know how she did with the rest of the day.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“Bye-bye now.”

“Bye.”

The line went dead, and the phone collapsed in Claire’s lap as she buried her face in her hands. Jamie hung up the call to stop the ringing, and he pressed her against his chest.

“It’s alright, mo ghraidh.”

“No, it’s not…” she muttered tearfully against his chest. “I can’t do this, Jamie, I can’t. I’m going to go pick her up.”

“Hey.” Jamie tightened his grip on her, physically restraining her from getting up. “Ye’re no’ gonnae do that.”

“She hasn’t wet herself in nearly a year! Something is wrong! You could hear her crying. I have to go.”

She was nearing hysterics. Jamie pushed her away just enough to look in her eyes.

“Claire.” His voice was firm, tightly holding her shoulders. “Miss O’Reilly said she calmed down. What reason would she have to lie to ye?”

“She could’ve started right back in again once we hung up.”

“If you go get her now, she’ll never learn. She’ll think that if she pitches a fit that Mummy will come get her, and she can get out of school, or anything else. She needs to learn.”

He could tell how badly Claire wanted to look away, but she held his gaze. She welled up with fresh tears, and Jamie watched them trickle down her cheeks. Her chin trembled, and he, like the hypocrite he was, very nearly gave into her just to stop her from crying.

“You’re right,” Claire rasped, swallowing thickly. “I hate it…but you’re right.”

Jamie loosened his grip and moved his hands up to cup her cheeks. “It might be a long learning curve, but she will learn. She’s ready for school, I ken she is. She just doesna ken it herself yet. And ye canna give in before she has the chance to figure that out. She needs ye to give her this chance, Sassenach.”

Claire nodded, inhaling with a shuddering gasp. “I know.”

He tenderly kissed her forehead, letting it linger. “She’s a strong wee thing. And she gets it from her mother,” he said with pointed emphasis. “If she can do it, so can you.”

Claire nodded, swallowing again. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sassenach.”

——

A bit after 3:30, the bus pulled up in front of the driveway, and both Jamie and Claire raced down the stairs. The doors to the bus opened, and Faith and Angus descended the stairs, Faith letting go of Carole’s hand to launch herself into Claire’s arms.

“Oh! Hello, darling!”

Jamie untethered her from Angus and commanded him to go upstairs and inside. Faith properly wrapped her legs around Claire’s waist, and she hoisted the girl up higher. Carole smiled sweetly down from the top of the stairs.

“How was she on the bus?” Claire called up.

“Fine, much more excited on the way back.”

The three adults shared a laugh.

“Oh, I bet,” Claire said, more to Faith then Carole. She fervently kissed her temple. “Thank you so much. I’ll be here tomorrow in the morning with her caretaker, and she’ll be getting her off without me.”

“Gotcha,” Carole said. The bus driver nodded as well.

“Okay, thank you, have a good day,” Claire said, waving. “Say bye-bye,” she crooned to Faith.

“Bye, thanks,” Jamie said, waving as well. Claire held Faith’s hand and waved with her, and the bus rolled away.

“Okay, time for Oreos!” Claire said.

“Aye, Oreos fer our big girl.” Jamie took Faith, knowing that Claire would have a hard time walking up the stairs with her. She was getting bigger every day.

They all sat at the kitchen table, Faith with her Oreos on her napkin, scraping the icing off with her teeth, Jamie and Claire watching her like she hung the stars, hands laced together. 

Jamie gave her hand a squeeze, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “She did it.”

Claire nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “We did it,” she corrected.

Jamie’s answer was a fervent kiss to the crown of her head.

[itsmeevie01]

A Moment in Time- Ch 13

MASTERPOST

has it been...a week? wow.

BUT I have planned a bit of the next few chapters. YAY!

I'm also failing bio but whatever. it's fine. everything is fine. (it's really not but I won't acknowledge it.)

anyways, no warnings for this ch, just Mari and Tim time!

Tim’s hotel room was nice. He really couldn’t complain, but there was something that made the back of his neck prickle. It hadn’t been only at the hotel either, but it was where he had felt it most acutely. There was someone at the hotel watching him.

When he had arrived in Paris the night before, Tim had been shocked at the tense atmosphere. The last time he had visited six months earlier, there hadn’t been this feeling of everyone holding their breath. Now, Tim was tense simply because everyone around him was. He wasn’t sure if it was the feeling of being watched or if it was the way everyone was holding their breath, but Tim’s nerves were frying very quickly.

He was supposed to meet Marinette for coffee in the next hour, and Tim was more than ready to see a face that he wasn’t paying to like him. As he slumped into a chair, the teen debated texting Marinette to ask for somewhere slightly more private to stave off his paranoia. As the clock ticked down, Tim gritted his teeth, caught up in his head. A ding from his phone brought him back to the present. With a glance down Tim jolted.

Tim+Marinette

Marinette- Hey! Just a reminder that we are meeting at that café I gave you the address to. I’ll be there in about 15 minutes, so I’ll see you soon!

Tim- Thanks, Marinette! I’m looking forward to seeing you!

Marinette- Me too 😊

Tim studied his phone before he yelped. It was a five-minute walk to the café, and he still hadn’t changed from his suit from earlier. The teen groaned and shook his head at his forgetfulness.

Marinette was surprisingly nervous when she sat down at the café she had told Tim about. Her hand was shaking, and she had no idea why. In front of her was a plate with a muffin and a coffee cup that had been made the way the staff knew she liked. The truth was this is where she camped out when her room was closing in on her. That meant that the people who worked there knew Marinette well enough to respect her privacy, while also holding a conversation when she had the time.

With a shaking hand, Marinette set her sketchbook on the tables and opened it to the last sketch she had been working on. As she cleaned up the lines and made notes about what specifications she wanted Marinette started to fall into the mental spiral that could trap her for days.

Had she picked the right clothes?

Why was she worried about what she wore?

Would Plagg behave? He was known for causing trouble for her.

Would Tim be nice in person, or would he be like most of the corporate douches that she worked with at Agreste?

Would Hawkmoth attack while they were together?

What if the media caught sight of them? Oh, she should have picked a more private place to meet!

A sharp prick on her thigh had Marinette yipping quietly, but the look Plagg gave her told the teen that he knew what was going through her head.

The Kwamii snuck up to her shoulder and his in her hair. “careful, Red. There are people here but not too many, this kid seems like he has a good head on his shoulders. We can trust him on that. You won’t get a better read on him until you spend time with him in person, so don’t start the spiral just yet. Plus, you know that some of the stress from this week is getting to you. Training three Miracle holders is stressful in the best of times. You are doing it in combat times without the full team the guardians used to use.” the duo could feel the tension leave Marinette’s shoulders at the small god’s words.

The teen whispered “thanks Plagg” as she focused back on the design in front of her.

Tim walked into the café and glanced around as he ordered.

There were only a few patrons there. in one corner was a red-headed boy who was obviously absorbed in his schoolwork. Near the middle was a girl who was typing on her computer with the manic speed of someone who had a paper due in the next day. In the far corner was a dark-haired girl who was working in some kind of notebook. And a few tables away from the register was a duo. A blonde girl whose hair was held in the kind of ponytail that made Tim cringe in sympathy, and a boy with dark hair that looked completely uncomfortable. Hopefully, Tim wasn’t witnessing a date gone wrong.

as he accepted his food, the teen headed for the girl in the back corner. He knew that Marinette had dark hair and that if she was anything like Jason, she would choose the place that would give her the best view of the space. Tim cleared his throat as he approached, breaking her out of focus on what Tim now realized was a sketchbook. “Marinette?”

“Tim! Hi! Come sit with me.” The girl’s enthusiasm made Tim smile, and he easily settled into the chair across from her.

The first few moments were awkward, but soon, Tim and Marinette were laughing and talking together happily. At one point, Tim got Marinette to really laugh. As she was pulling herself together, Tim tilted his head back. A smile danced over his features while he stretched his neck. as he leaned back, Tim noticed the blond girl narrowing her eyes at him, before glaring when she realized that she had been caught. She flipped her hair and whirled back around to face the boy that was laughing at her. Marinette snorted at the flush on the girl's face and rolled her eyes.

“that’s my friend, Chloé, she doesn’t think that I know that she is here with our friend. She’s just a big snoop.” Tim huffed a laugh and shrugged.

“Well, as long as it's just your friend spying on us, we should be fine. Are you interested in perhaps taking a walk?” Marinette giggled before standing. Tim joined her and offered her his hand. She sent him a smile and wiggled her fingers at him, before collecting her stuff and skipping off.

As she turned to smile at him, Tim called out a “hey! Wait up!” before hurrying after her.

After he had caught up with her, Marinette shot Tim a smile and led him off down the streets. He laughed and followed. The ease the girl used to navigate the streets had Tim marveling. The sound of her giggles had him smiling as he followed. Soon, they arrived at a small townhouse on the outskirts of the city. She glanced over her shoulder and inclined her head. Once they were both in the foyer, she guided him through to the sitting room.

“sorry about the…adventure. I know that you had more questions, and there were a few people in the café that I don’t trust.” Tim blinked, before nodding.

“I…ok? How did you know that I had questions? And as much as I liked exploring the city, where are we?” Marinette blushed slightly.

“we-ah. Well, we are at my Nona’s house. She lets me use it when she isn’t here to get some space. And…well…I know that your emails were full of questions, and I realized that anyone who wasn’t Parisian would have questions. And. Well. I saw a girl I don’t get along with in there and I wanted an excuse to get away from her?” Tim studied her for a moment, before bursting out laughing.

“Marinette, that would have been a perfectly fine reason, even without any reasonable justification. But” here, Tim worked to reign in his laughter, “the trip through the labyrinth of Paris, and the who thing…thank you.” A look of confusion crossed the girl’s face. “ever since I’ve landed, I’ve had the feeling that there was something watching me. Not only that, but everyone I’ve met has been holding their breath. I know that there is something going on, but I haven’t asked because I’m afraid of setting someone off. Do you know what’s going on in Paris? And why…why do I feel better here in your Nona’s home than in my hotel or the café?”

Marinette tensed as Tim talked. When he finished, she hesitated before voicing her concern. “Tim…did you say that you don’t feel like you’re being watched anymore?”

“yes?”

“oh my god. Tim! That’s…oh no. No. no. no! Tim…that means that Hawkmoth had decided that you would make a good Akuma. This house is out of the city proper, so he can’t get us here. Oh, this is so bad!”

“Marinette, hey. Stop. Look at me.” The girl, who had started to pace, paused. She glanced over at the older teen, her blue eyes wide in panic. Tim reached out and took her hands in his and gripped them tightly. Once her eyes were focused on him, and not the wall behind him, Tim spoke quietly. “Marinette are you with me?” she nodded. “is the reason that you reacted like that because of panic?” another nod. “talk me through why.” Her eyes went wide, and she looked at him in shock before taking a shaking breath and turning away.

“you could have been akumatized. You could have been akumatized and would have been with me and I would be to blame. Then you would-or still can- turn Jason and Nona against me. Then I could be exiled from Paris, or-“ Tim had squeezed her hands that he still somehow held during her spiral. Marinette spun around to face the older boy in shock.

“Marinette, how would me being akumatized become your fault? If we are going to lay blame on anyone, it would be Hawkmoth. He is the one who is going around possessing people with evil purple butterflies.” She studied him, shocked, before breathing out a sigh of relief.

“I am so sorry, Tim. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. That was so rude.” Tim shook his head in response as she collapsed onto one of the couches.

“you have nothing to apologize for. I have a feeling that after the time you spent in Gotham, living under a supervillain for four years has been stressful. Maybe during your time in Gotham, if you don’t have the sight of my face by then,” here the younger girl giggled, relief evident in her face at the proposal for other plans, “maybe I can take you around Gotham and give you the time to explore without a psychopath with mind-reading abilities hanging over your head.”

A small smile danced over Marinette’s lips. “I would love that Tim, thank you.”

Later that evening, Marinette sighed in frustration.

Her homework was just one more thing she had to worry about. Beyond that, she really wanted to spend time with Tim. With Hawkmoth watching him, she wasn’t sure how long her friend would last in the city of love.

Another sigh broke its way free from Marinette’s throat, and the girl pushed aside the pile of schoolwork in favor of looking over her sketchbook. There, on the open page, was Tim’s face staring back up at her. She wasn’t sure what prompted her to draw him, but in this case, she was chalking up to her hand having a mind of its own. Looking down at the picture, she felt anger overtake her. Marinette had already given up so much, and yet here she was.

If this ridiculousness from Hawkmoth didn’t stop, the teen knew she would have to sacrifice her friendship with Tim as well, If only to protect him. the seed of anger seemed to burn brighter, and the girl clenched her jaw, trying to remind herself that no, this was not worth an Akumatization.

She looked up, trying to drain her eyes of the tears that had gathered without her permission, and caught sight of a purple butterfly. With trembling hands, the teen pulled out a glass jar that she had been experimenting with. One muttered spell later, the Akuma was sitting inside of the jar, and the glass had clouded over. With an angry shake of the Jar, the girl pulled out her phone and sent one text. They were ending this, tonight.

As Marinette prepared to meet her team, an assuredness settled over her. She knew that they had the ability to take down Adrien’s father. Apate just had to give the signal. And Marinette Dupain Cheng would be damned if she let an emotional terrorist ruin one more day of her life.

It was time to take Gabriel Agreste down.

sooooooo........... who liked Alya, Chloé, and Adrien date crashing. one was unintentional, but the other two totally knew something was happening bc Mari did tell ANYBODY about Tim or meeting him.

side note, yes, I consider this the first date. they don't...yet.

ahhhhhhhhh Hawkmoth is going down. Angry Mari because her friend is being threatened? you bet! no, Chloé is NOT going to be happy.

if anyone has a good suggestion for a Gotham villain who is not the Joker or Riddler PLEASE let me know. I am PLOTTING. yes, my next stop is Google. no, no one is going to be happy.

TAGLIST

@moonlitceleste @redscarlet95 @ultimatetornshipper @mochegato @liquid-luck-00 @maskedpainter @trippingovermyfeet @nathleigh @m0chick0furan @susiej1118 @t1dwarrior-of-earth @sassakitty @remy-289 @solangelo252 @corporeal-terrestrial @woe-is-me0 @toodaloo-kangaroo @sizzling-fairy-oil

[dancingthesambaa]

The Smell of Plum Blossom Tea Ch 8

Summary: Just like a butterfly wing, a single act of kindness can change the course of the future, it certainly did for MK as a black-furred monkey put out a hand towards him

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter 8: One By One

It’s been over a few weeks since the whole Bull King invasion and things have been pretty peaceful. The city has slowly begun to rebuild itself and people have steadily begun to go back to their day to day lives.

If there's one thing he can appreciate about society is that they always will keep going even when everything around them has been destroyed.

Macaque's own workload has finally eased up, the hospital didn’t anticipate that many wounded in that short span and wasn’t able to gather the materials. So, he has gotten calls from both Yanyu and some of the higher ups in the field for his assistance.

“This has been a pain in the ass,” he grumbled as he sat down on the couch with his cup of tea. “I really shouldn’t have let them off so easily for the fuckton of work they put on me.” His was then twitched as he heard a familiar/strange set of feet dashing their way towards him.

“Dad!” He sees his son, who had his jacket tied around his waist and staff nowhere in sight, smiles widely as he leaps to him and gives him a big hug, “it’s been so long!”

“Hey kiddo,” he was taken momentarily off guard by the hug, but smiled down at him as he petted his hair. “How was work?”

“Oh I didn’t go, someone is taking care of that,” he happily stated as he still held on tight.

Macaque blinked for a moment before he gave a small chuckle, “oh, is that so, well I was about to read and relax, you want to join?”

“Can you read out loud?” He cheerfully asked as he got himself comfortable on the couch as he laid down.

“Of course.”

“Yay!”

So Macaque began to tell the story of a blind girl and how she stood strong in the face of adversity and ridicule. He was in the middle of the part where the girl denies the deity gift of giving her sight when he heard the door slam open wide.

“Stay away from my Dad!/Don't worry old man, we're here!” MK and Mei respectively shouted out as they both held staff and sword out to fight the battle ahead, only to falter as they took in the scene of Mac sitting quite comfortably on the couch, while another MK laid on his lap with a content smile. “Uhhhh.”

“Took you long enough,” he said with amusement, “I was almost about to send a clone out to you myself.”

“Huh?”

“What? You don’t think I can’t tell a clone apart from my son?” He smirked as he patted the clone ahead, the only response was cuddling closer to him.

“You know?!” MK yelled out as he walked forward, still a bit cautious after his encounters with the rest of his clones.

He only raised an eyebrow as he showed off his shadow clone.

“Oooh, yeah that makes sense.”

“How come he didn’t attack you!” Mei threw her hands up in frustration. “I mean, come on! I had to deal with Portay MK and you have Mr. Cuddle Bug?!”

“Attack, Pfft yeah that's what usually happens during the first duplicate trials,” he said as he laid his book down.

“I’m sorry what?” MK has put away the staff at this point as he tried to sit next to his Dad, only to forget that the space was currently occupied by another him. He stared down at the clone laying in his spot then the clone looked up at him and just turned around and faced away from him.

“No,” was all he said as the next moment the clone disappeared and there sat the real MK with a wide grin, “so what was that about the trials?”

The six eared monkey raised an eyebrow at his son's actions as Mei wheezed in the background, “well usually when someone is learning the clone technique most of the time the clones would try to attack the user to prove their authority or their sense of identity.”

“That is actually terrifying,” he deadpanned.

“I thought you already knew this?” He questioned his son, who suddenly blushed.

“Well I may have accidentally learned I can do this,” he scratched the back of his neck as he laid on his Dad's lap.

“And you decided to test it out despite not knowing the consequences,” he sighed as he examined his son hair which was now sporting some very uneven ends and patches, “you even messed up your hair cause of this, I thought I taught you to not mess with magic unless you have me or someone competent in the arts.”

“I know, I know, but I just wanted some sleep and quiet!” He moaned out as he let the furry hands caress the knots and tangles in his hair, “I didn’t think it would lead up to this.”

“That’s how they all start,” he snorted as he felt Mei sit on his other side and lay on his shoulder, “so why don’t you tell me how this all began and tell me a bit more about your training with Wukong. I haven’t heard back on how that’s been going.”

“Training with the Monkey King is amazing!” He lit up as he talked all about his sessions.

Macaque silently listened to his son ramble on about his training sessions with Wukong and boy did that still send him reeling.

He still can’t believe that this is happening, that in all of these strange currents of events, Wukong actually made his son his successor. He still doesn't know how to feel about that cause, on one hand, damn straight his child can lift the staff no one has ever been able to before, he is so proud that he accomplished the impossible that mere words still can’t explain it. But on the other hand, Wukong recklessly decided to choose his son to be his successor despite his many enemies, does that idiot not comprehend the target he just placed on his back.

‘I swear I have half the mind to go up there and knock him silly for his complete ignorance…though how everything goes after that is the only thing that’s stopping me,’ Mac internally thought. ‘Who knows how he would react if I show up unannounced…probably would be just the sequel of our last fight,’ he bitterly thought. He has long accepted that his former friend probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore if they ever saw each other again.

“And then he goes on about how one must never- are you even paying attention?!” MK's voice broke out of his thoughts.

“Yeah I am, you were just talking about how your swings are easily blockable.”

“They are not that bad,” he huffed.

“You swing too wide comet/You hit like it’s a baseball bat,” both demon and teenager said.

“Okay, I may have a small issue.”

“And that’s why you're training,” he said as he took his hands out of his hair when he began to yawn.

“Yeah I know,” he sleepily said as he closed his eyes.

‘At least he is enjoying himself,’ he then focused his attention on Mei, who was also dozing off and began to groom her hair as well.

“Is that the best you got flame brain,” Daiyu cackled out as she flew higher in the air and dodged the fireball, “I met imps who were stronger than that-shit!” She felt a sharp pain explode from her back.

“Don’t you dare think you can outmatch me, little bird!” Red Son cockily stated as he twisted one of her wings and the two began to a downward spiral. “I have fought monsters thrice the size of you and remained victorious!”

“Not today's string bean!” She squawked out as she flips on her back as the two were falling so that the fire demon could break her fall.

It was a tense stand off as neither side gave in even when they were free falling, it was only when they were ten feet away from the ground did he jump off her. He hoped that this would have worked and broken a few of her bones, but alas it didn’t as she caught herself just before and stopped herself.

“Tch,” he clicked his tongue in agitation as he went in for another strike for her wings, only to get batted off.

“Ha, ain’t fooling me again Flicker! Or maybe that candle on your head is finally reaching its end!” She went for his neck only to get buffed by his hand grabbing her beak.

“I’ll show you who's reaching their end once I burn you into a fiery crisp that not even your brethren would want to feast upon!” He tried to keep her in his hold as he lit up, but she managed to kick free of his grasp.

“Ha! I like to see you try! My shithead brothers and sisters would eat everything and I’m not even counting the chicks that just hatched!” She flew up high and prepared for a dive bomb.

“Let’s find out!” His entire body began to lit up in flames as his eyes bore into her.

“They seem to be having fun,” Bohai said as he lazily watched them.

“Two people who like the thrill of the battle going at it, of course, they like this shit,” Minsheng scoffed as they laid down, “at least they're not doing battles to the death anymore, that usually gets bloody way too fast.”

“And leaves me having to deal with their injured asses,” Macaque grumbled as he petted the infant monkey's head.

“Your friends,” the jellyfish pointed out.

“I was forced into this,” he stated.

“And we’re still here,” the rabbit demon grinned.

“Unfortunately.”

MK and Mei, on the other hand, still couldn’t believe their eyes as they continued to see the arrogant demon that was trying to kill them happily fighting. Well the fight part not really, but the happy thing was a bit out of left field. They had walked into the sounds of fighting and, while still being very cautious as they remembered Mac and Ahmed's last fight, quietly tried to investigate what was happening. So to see this scene was a little jarring once they realized that the two were simply sparring with each other.

“Huh, I have to say this is the quickest redemption arc I have ever seen,” Mei mused, “not even a month ago he was trying to kill us and now he is all buddy buddy with Dad and his friends.”

“To be fair, I think they mentioned him before,” MK said.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” the said monkey popped in, “I have. I actually have known him longer than the both of you. His family sometimes would stop by for some items from time to time.”

“Huh, well that’s honestly not that big of a shock,” Mei pouted as they watched Red Son finally pin the vulture demon down.

“I told you, you can’t beat me! For I am Red Son, prince to the esteemed Demon Bull King and the mighty Princess Iron Fan!” He maniacally laughed.

“You're a prince!” He was startled out of it when two voices reached over to him.

“Indeed I am! Who dares step forward and-,” he stops himself mid sentence when he sees noodle boy and biker girl familiar faces. His face drops, “oh it’s you two.”

“Like I knew DBK was your dad and all, but it never occurred to me that you would be a prince with, well you know,” Mei hummed out.

“With what?” He growled the last bit out.

“With you being a reckless, two-bit side character that likes to leap before they walk,” she bluntly said.

“I am no mere Side Character!” He bowled out as his hair flame intensified.

“Aren’t you though?”

“I’m not”

“But you can be, like how I can totally be one as well.”

“I am no mere side character,” he spat out, “I am the antagonist that stands against the hero path! I am the flame of destruction that threatens to consume all! I am the prince of the feared and mighty who takes pride in oneself and all that they do!”

“…okay but aren’t some villains side characters?” She couldn’t help it, she was having way too much fun at this point.

“I AM NOT A SIDE CHARACTER!”

“I feel like we have gotten meta somewhere,” MK muttered out and then walked forward before Mei could say anything that would trigger the raging flame demon anymore. “Hi! I know we didn’t really introduce ourselves after…that, but I’m MK and she's Mei.”

“…Red Son,” he eyed the smiling boy in front of him, “and I already knew who you are, your father talks much about the two of you.”

“Awwww, fluffy head does,” Mei cooed as she turned to face Macaque, who was resolutely not looking in their direction.

“Wait, if you knew who we were, why did you attack?” The Monkie Kid couldn’t help but ask.

Surprising the both of them, the prince blushed a bit out of embarrassment as he muttered out, “I didn’t know it was the two of you in the first place.”

“How?!” Mei sputtered out. “Like we were probably screaming each other's names so many times?!”

“No! You peasants were just screaming! Nothing short of a name has ever come up in the middle of it all!”

“Wait-so that’s why you called me Noodle boy?”

“Noodle boy?” She snorted.

“Your biker girl,” he hissed out.

“Biker girl…hmm not that bad actually,” she put her hand under her chin, “though did you seriously just come up with that because of what we were doing?”

“Yes,” the demon unashamedly said.

Both humans looked at one another before they both laughed wildly.

“Hahaha! Holy shit, you are such a dork,” the dragon girl clutched her stomach.

“By the Gods, that is kinda adorable,” the monkey's successor was pounding his fist on the ground.

“I am neither a dork nor adorable!” The Bull prince roared out as he marched over to them in fury. “Take that back!”

“NEVER!”

“And thus the start of a beautiful friendship,” Macaque couldn’t help but say as the demon began to chase the two around.

“Yeah, I worked my back off for it,” Daiyu grumbled as she finally got off the ground from where Red Son was pinning her down. “That whole time I just wanted to throttle him at them just so I could feel my wings again.”

“Don’t worry, your wings have some use finally,” Minsheng couldn’t help but say.

Daiyu promptly smacked her wings against their head.

“What do you mean disappeared?” Mei asked MK when he rushed inside their super secret base.

“All I know is that they were shopping and now I can’t contact nor find either one of them!” MK freaked out as he gripped his staff. “What if they're in trouble?”

“Take a deep breath MK,” Sandy rubbed the human back, “we don’t know that, their phones could simply be out of batteries or they got lost talking to each other.”

“Even though they’ll never admit it,” he said.

“Exactly, but the shop isn’t open!”

That drew out sharp gasps as now they began to panic.

“He has never not opened his store before!” Sandy shouted as he gripped his hair.

“I think he’s been kidnapped!” MK screamed in agreement.

“I immediately fear the worst!”

Mei rushed over to one of the screens and began to type in a few things and up on the screen appeared both people talking to a lady.

“They haven’t been carted away to treacherous territories,” the giant sighed in relief.

“Oh thank god they're still shopping,” MK sagged in relief as he saw this, “wait Mei what is this?”

“I had cameras placed on all of you and you said this was creepy,” she has already lost her brother once, that was not about to happen again.

“That still is.”

“Oh look now they're following that nice lady, see they're just fine,” Sandy inputted as they watched the two slowly follow the woman shrouded in black when suddenly there was a trap that opened underneath them, “AH! I was wrong! I was wrong! This is bad! This is very bad!”

“Nightmare hole!” The twenty year old screamed out as Mei's eyes widened in shock, “what happened?”

“It looks like?” She began to enhance and zoom into the blurred picture and when it became clear it showed an eight legged spider lady standing above them all.

“A spider demon! Come on! No! Ew! Yuck! I do not want to mess with spiders of any kind! I hate spiders! Hate, hate, hate spiders! With their beady eyes and their creepy wiggly legs and their gross butt!”

“MK, right now that spider demon has our friends so you know what that means,” Sandy pumped them up. “It’s Operation save Pigsy and Tang from the Nightmare Hole!”

“Yeah!” Both teens pumped their fists in the air along with the cat.

“Should we call Macaque for backup,” Sandy asked as he started up the engine.

“Nope!” MK quickly said before Mei could, “we can do this on our own!”

MK slowly began to back away as the Spider demon loomed over him menacingly. She had managed to capture Sandy and Mei as well and only he was the last one standing. “I regret everything I said.”

“Aww, don’t tell me you're scared of spiders!” She said as she stepped into the light then that faint tickling in the back of his head finally eased up at the full reveal.

“Wait? I know you!” His jaw dropped as he saw just exactly who was standing in front of him.

“What?” They all shouted even Spider Queen who was stunned out of sheer confusion.

“No wonder you look familiar! Daiyu talks about you all the time,” MK stated as he lost some of his fear at the relief of finally knowing why she seemed so familiar.

Though as his fear was momentarily suppressed the Spider Queen was not as she blanched at the name, “you know Daiyu!”

“Oh yeah, she has a bone to pick with you after you ripped her off, she said something about wanting to pluck the meat off of your corpse after she gets done beating you to a pulp or something like that.”

“I am now concerned by that statement,” Pigsy said.

“Oh don’t worry, she’s a vulture demon,” Mei happily responded.

“That does not make it better.”

“Does for me sweetheart,” Tang smiled, “it makes sense for a vulture to go for a corpse because they are cartoons. It’s actually quite fascinating-,”

“Tang I love you, but please don’t say that as we’re currently being tied up like a lamb ready for the slaughter,” Pigsy begged.

“…what?”

The pig and human eyes widened at what both said, but luckily they didn’t have to say anything as the Spider Queen roared in rage.

“I may be a slicker, but I ain’t no sham when it comes to my silk! Tell that chicken legged, deep fried coward that I will personally send her down under if she even instigates that I would do that!” She roared in rage as she stood tall in MK, who promptly got scared once more as he realized what he just said.

“MK run!” Pigsy yelled out.

“Don’t need to tell me twice!” MK slid between the Spider Queen legs and he began to book it.

“Get back here little monkey boy!”

“I feel like I should tell Daiyu where Spider Queen has been hiding,” MK mused as they floated along the ocean.

“As long as I’m there, I really want to see her explode in fury before the bloodbath happens,” Mei snorted as she laid across the top.

“You know, I sometimes worry about you,” Pigsy looked at the young lady at that statement.

“Fuzz butt says that too.”

“Shouldn’t you listen to your doctor?”

“Shouldn’t you listen to what you said back at the cave, don’t you think just because we were tied up doesn’t mean I don’t have ears,” she teased as Sandy nodded.

“Wait, what happened?” MK looked at both of them in confusion.

Sandy leaned over and whispered what happened and the boy's eyes widened and sparkled with glee. “Ohohoho!”

“It was the slip of a tongue,” Tang said as he pushed up his glasses in nervousness. “Nothing more.”

“Yeah, what he said, just a slip of the tongue,” Pigsy twisted his hands.

“Some slip, some would say that it almost sounded like,” the twenty year old girl leaned in with a mischievous glint in her eyes, “an old married couple would say to one another.”

“WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!” They both shouted and they shared glances at each other only to catch a view of their red faces and promptly turn to face away from them.

“If you say so,” she backed off with her hands up.

“And we say so,” the pig crossed his arms.

“Very much so,” Tang copied.

Both Sandy and MK were in the background holding back their laughs as they could barely keep it together.

MK woke up to the shake of an earthquake and his whole world feeling off balance.

At first, he wrote this off as the aftermath of the earthquake as he quickly got ready for work as he prayed Pigsy doesn’t fire him. But as he walked down the street with his drink in hand he still couldn't help, but felt his whole world was just off balance, like everything was just missing a beat or so, it was the weirdest feeling.

“Maybe I just banged my head too hard, should probably ask Dad to check in case,” he muttered in his straw as he was about to yell out when he saw Mei standing in the middle of the road. “Mei, I’m glad you’re here!”

“Yes I am right here,” she grinned widely, “and what’s this about calling your Dad?”

“I don’t know if I have a concussion or something else, but something seems really off and I can’t put my finger on what,” he groaned.

“It’s nothing, just relax. Today is all about you.”

“Aren’t you usually the one who usually tells me to call him if things are getting too sticky to handle?” MK questioned as that off balance feeling was coming in full force.

“I am?” He could almost see her face contort for a brief moment before going back to her previous creepy grin, “I mean I am! But he’s probably busy doing stuff sweetie.”

“Sweetie,” he looked at her in pure disgust.

“I mean dear friend,” he never thought someone could grin that wide.

“Even when he’s in the middle of making medicine he always answers,” at this point he has begun to back up from Mei. He did not like just how off this whole thing was and it wasn’t helping that the crowd was just watching them.

“Don’t worry,” she ominously said, “I’m sure…”

“Macaque,” he supplied as he quickly got into position to bolt out of there as soon as he had the chance. This was definitely not Mei!

“Right Macaque will be just-!” Not just Mei, but the entire crowd of people's heads snapped towards MK.

“Did you just say Macaque!” They all yelled out.

“Yeah?!?” He was now more than freaking out as he looked for possible exits, he was not about to stay here a moment longer if he could. But then his whole world began to fade away as he saw the people just shake their heads and arms as they seem to glitch out.

“Nope, nuh uh, F this! Plan is officially done! Do not collect after Go! Finish!” He blinked his eyes as he saw that he was now in a shack and standing in front of him was a blue and orange demon. The blue one was just holding a jar of some kind, while the orange one was speaking.

“Done! Capital D.O.N.E! Done!”

“I think he gets it Jin,” the blue demon said.

“Well excuse me for being freaked out about this! Why aren’t you freaking out about this?!”

“Oh I am, one moment,” he said as he carefully put down the jar, “there we go….We freaking messed up so bad!” The demon began to panic, “like this is going to the top thirty bad.”

“Fucckkk!” Jin said as he gripped his hair.

“What is going on?!” MK yelled out his frustration as he collected the staff and kept a tight grip on it. “Who are you?!”

The two demons paused their freak out as they both dramatically posed.

“I am Jin!” The orange demon jumped up.

“And I am Yin!” The blue demon bowed low.

“And together,” they both said in sync as Jin landed on top of Yin back, “we are the Gold/Silver and Silver/Gold demons!”

There was a silence as both parties looked at each other before both brothers then began to fight over the name.

“It’s Gold and Silver nitwit!”

“No, it's Silver and Gold half bake!”

“Seriously, what is going on and why am I here?” He reiterated his point as that got the two to stop fighting.

“We heard about the great Monkie kid and knew he would be a worthy adversary,” Yin stated as he crossed his arms.

“Yes, so after our cunning plan we called out to you and you foolishly,” they both pointed to him, “answered.”

“…I was delivering noodles of course I was gonna answer,” his eyes twitched at the sheer ridiculousness of this.

“But you still answered and fell right into our plan to use you for our nefarious purposes!” Gin dramatically laughed.

“Until we knew that you were the Six Eared Macaque kid,” Yin added.

“Yeah before that,” he stopped his laughter, “we know we’re certifiably insane, but we ain’t stupid.”

“Yeah, we know better than to try to mess with what’s Macaque, I heard the last demon who tried that was tormented by him for a hundred days,” the blue demon shivered.

“I heard he once pulled the inside out of another demon just because he was having a bad day.”

“Well I heard he took on and defeated an entire army so that he could pass by.”

“I heard that he can suck some demon body and soul into a cursed item and make them fight for him.”

“Oh that one’s true,” MK butted in as at this point he sat down as he realized that they were not even a threat, just very amusing.

Both of them shivered as they looked at him in horror, “wait really!?”

“Yep!”

“Check that rumor off as being real,” Jin groaned as Yin held out a rather large book.

“Already on it.”

“What’s that?” MK asked.

“Oh it’s just a book with basically any rumors we happen to come across,” Yin proudly showed off, “most of them are probably not true, but it is amusing to hear. Like this one, it’s rumored that the Demon Bull King lost his horn after he insulted a deity and it broke off from sheer embarrassment after she had slapped him silly for a couple of hours.”

“Snrk!” He let out a sputter at the sheer ridiculousness.

“The Celestial Heavens is actually a conspiracy used to hide the good alcohol, cause if that shit was freely given the whole world would be gone.”

“Pffffft!”

“That we are actually all standing on a hand right now, but we just can’t see it.”

“Hahahaha!” MK let it out as he clutched his stomach. “These sound so stupid!”

“I know right!” Jin grinned, “that’s why we record them, cause they sound just so dumb!”

“They really do,” the Monkie kid said as he got his laughter back in control and sat back up, “so you're not gonna try to capture me again?”

“Like we said before, Monkey King is one thing, but we ain’t messing with Macaque. If you think Monkey King has a grudge, you should see that trickster when he really has time to think and plan on revenge,” the orange demon said.

“Ain’t nobody gonna get in his way,” the blue demon finished.

“Good!” He should probably ask about all his Dad’s revenge stories sometimes, he knows they would be good ones then a thought occurred to him as he scrunched up his nose. “So, why did you have Mei call me sweetie?”

“Ask Jin,” he pointed to his brother.

“Well, I thought since you guys are childhood friends and all you have feelings for one another, you know, like in the books and all that,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“Crush?! On Mei?! Grosss!” He yelled out as he can almost feel himself puke at the thought, “Yuck! No! God no! She is basically my sister!”

“I told ya.”

“You didn’t tell me shit.”

“Don’t fucking cuss around kids,” Yin hissed out.

“Well you should shut your damn trap!” Jin snarled back.

“Least threatening villains ever,” MK muttered to himself, “Wait? Did you seriously try to invoke the childhood friends trope? Like in romance novels?”

“Yeah!” Jin proudly stated.

“You read romance books?”

“You don’t? They are the best kinds of books with all the drama that surrounds them, the clashing of emotions, the tightly packed metaphors that can be placed in one paragraph to describe someone’s eyes. It's simply awesome! Have you read them?”

“Not really,” he admitted.

“I can give you some recommendations! Then we can-”

“Nope,” Yin drew his brother back, “we are not about to have a repeat of last time. Remember how you burned down the bookstore?”

“They deserve it for saying Ballad of the Desert was overrated,” he growled out.

“True, but we were supposed to be on the down low after nicking off with some bastard goods, I did not like having to run around with the gang on our asses, so we are leaving,” he deadpanned.

“Fineee!” He groaned out as the two suddenly stood upright and raised their hands. “We will meet again one day, Monkie Kid!” Then they threw down what was in their hands and a plume of smoke appeared in their spots.

“Bleh,” he waved the air around him as he heard a laugh and turned around to see them in the street.

“Hahaha! We’re the greatest tricksters!” Gin said with his arms crossed once more.

“Ever! Also please don’t tell Macaque about us trying to capture you! Thank you, bye!” Yin finished as the two disappeared in a flash of smoke for the final time.

MK could only stare at the empty space in pure shock as he tried to process just what happened.

“…I’m just gonna go back to the shop,” he gave up as he begrudgingly walked back to his car.

[cordeliaflyte]

Would love to know your thoughts on the rutger bregman book when you finish it!!!

dearest merle! it took me months to answer this ask - something i'm ashamed of - but i finally got around to finishing the book today.

the below is a condensed version of the ten pages of notes i took while reading it, which are rather chaotic and repetitive at points - but in my defence, bregman repeated his own arguments too.

one of the main arguments that bregman makes is that "evil" or "immorality" - which we'll define as causing unnecessary harm - are rarely caused by the individual, but rather the society they live in. i agree - nothing exists in a vacuum. however, society, as a nebulous concept, isn't imposed on us by some imperceptible power - it is crafted by people. people in society have different levels of power, and the harm they can cause to others is directly proportional to said power - but be it on a micro or macro scale, our actions have an impact on others and while they are influenced by the society we live in, we must nonetheless strive to minimise the harm we cause - and few of us do.

bregman illustrates many of his arguments with heartwarming stories about people coming together in times of crisis - take, for example, natural disasters - and overcoming adversity, selflessly looking out for their neighbours. but crisis very often leads to the creation of divisions, an us vs them mentality, and a complete disregard for the safety of others. the current pandemic is a prime example - see the widening of class differences, the rise in racist hate crimes, and people refusing to take safety precautions because they are inconvenient to them.

another argument repeated quite often throughout the book is the fact that media cherry-picks the most sensationalistic and senseless acts of death and despair, because human suffering is simply more interesting that the mundane - people talking to friends, creating art, laughing and learning. again, i agree with him - many of the more tabloid-adjacent news outlets would have you believe that the everyday norm is dismembered heiresses being found on riverbeds and charming, precocious children being held for ransom in tiny basements. the news doesn't often focus on the mundane - but the mundane isn't just love and work and friendship and boredom and chores, it is also, for billions of people around the world, sexual violence, familial abuse, workplace and housing discrimination, etc. these things aren't sensationalistic either - they're frightfully common, frightfully boring, and thus, they're rarely reported on.

throughout his book, bregman mentions that when he told people what he was working on, they approached the idea that humans are good with a large dose of cynicism, simply because we are raised to believe humans are selfish (which isn't the case worldwide, not all cultures are individualistic). they pick the easier choice - accepting the image of the world and their fellow humans that they are presented with at face value. i'd argue that it is the tendency of humans to pick the easier choice, to obey, to avoid challenging their worldview that leads to - for a lack of better term - immorality (see definition in point 1).

often, when bregman presents his feel good stories about people cooperating in adversity, he also mentions troubling details that, again, show undue harm being done. one of the examples he used were six boys from tonga, aged 13 to 16, who were shipwrecked on an island, and instead of descending into a "lord of the flies" style madness, they built their small community on the basis of communication and cooperation, never resorting to violence, and acting mature beyond their years. after a year spent on the island, they were rescued - and promptly arrested, an event which was probably racially motivated. and the reason they were shipwrecked in the first place was attempting to flee their school, where, according to their reports, they were neglected.

bregman contrasted the example of the boys forming a peaceful society on a small island with the chaos that always ensues when adults in reality shows are put in similar situations. the contestants are pitted against each other by the show runners, who seek to frustrate them and make them lose control for the amusement of the audience. whenever contestants try to cooperate, form a mutually beneficial society for a short while - a radical idea - they are punished. "goodness" - i.e. harm reduction - and radical thought being punished just don't seem like particularly helpful examples for the "humans are inherently good" thesis

bregman seems to be a big fan of primitivism, constantly citing civilisation as a source of harm - a position i'm always sceptical about, because personally i love vaccines and dental care, but i know this is a knee-jerk reaction and bregman isn't plotting a return to a land without dentists. but what i do take ire at is the idea that humans are somehow "corrupt" versions of their natural selves and that our lives have grown too complicated, and only a return to "primitive" society can return us to the aforementioned natural selves.

tied to the previous point - his arguments remind me of the "noble savage"'... archetype? he seems to paint a picture of "primitive" indigenous people as role models for those "corrupted" by civilisation, who in turn must be saved by a return to their "purer" selves, instead of individuals with flaws and agency.

speaking on indigenous populations - bregman also invokes the inhabitants of the easter islands. for a long time, the world at large believed that a hundred years or so before colonization, the islanders effectively perpetrated a genocide, killing off a large proportion of their population - a claim which was later disproven. yay! humans can live in peaceful societies without committing genocide, and thus, are not inherently evil! disregarding the fact that european colonists later massacred a large part of the islands population, and sold most of the survivors into slavery?

i was very excited for one of the chapters, entitled "after auchschwitz". i was interested how bregman would reconcile his argument with the tragedies of the twentieth century - the holocaust, but also genocide, and to a lesser extent war in general.

(this chapter, i might add, was preceded by a quote by anne frank - you know the one, about the inherent goodness of people. i was hoping that bregman would comment on the fact that anne wrote the quote before she and her family were sent to a concentration camp)

so you can imagine my surprise when the chapter was not, in fact, about concentration camps or genocide. but rather about. unethical 70s sociological experiments.

no really! a chapter titled "after auchschwitz" was, in fact, primarily about the stanford prison experiment. an experiment that was, granted, inspired by concentration camps, but still. it's misleading to invoke "real", large scale violence, and focus instead on "simulated", small scale violence.

we all know that the stanford prison experiment was, as far as experiments go, rubbish to legendary degrees. it doesn't prove anything - but it does, perhaps, show that people under large psychological duress are capable of evil, even when they themselves are not "evil".

it is, i'd argue, the human tendency to obey authority and especially to conform to societies standards that poses the largest danger. disobedience is man's original virtue and whatnot.

and when he does briefly refer to concentration camps, bregman treats them like a very 1940s phenomenon, disregarding the fact that they have been around for much longer and still exist today.

in cases like that one experiment with electric shocks. you know the one. do not, perhaps, show an innate tendency to violence, but rather people succumbing to pressure. but history is full of unprovoked instances of violence, of pogroms and lynchings. there is usually an instigator, yes, but judging from reports, people in the right mindset don't need much persuading to butcher other people.

also re: electric shock experiment - those who thought they gave the assistant lethal shocks showed extreme guilt and some even cried but like... so what? what use is a conscience if it doesn't stop you from, to your knowledge, killing someone? are your feelings really more important than your actions?

he doesn't say this, but a lot of the arguments he presents do seem to boil down to "people aren't evil, they're just stupid!" which doesn't sound more encouraging, i'm afraid.

an alternative takeaway would be "people are good, unless they have power" - which isn't exactly a radical, revolutionary idea. most people have heard the maxim "power corrupts". but the thing is that almost everyone holds some amount power over others - the oppressed factory worker in a poor nation who works 12 hours a day for pittance might still execute power over his wife, who relies on him for money, and she in turn might hold power over her children, and so forth. and that power is often used to cause undue harm and exercise control.

he criticises machiavellianism, saying it doesn't reflect how society works, and one of his proofs is that his philosophies were espoused by bismarck, churchill, and stalin - hardly admirable figures in terms of (you guessed it!) causing harm. but i don't see how that discredits machiavelli? like all of the above were very succesful

and he keeps repeating the primitivism argument throughout the book which gets tiring. like i'm truly sorry you were born in the last 5% of human existence thus far when, in your opinion, humanity started going to the shits, but it's getting a bit tiring

he cites money and nations as concepts as harbingers of the current (negative) state of humanity, saying they're very recent concepts and have no basis in reality. they're artificial concepts, sure, but their effect is very much real, and while achieving a nation-less, money-less society is possible on a small scale, i think that at this point they are such large aspects of life that reigning them in seems impossible.

and invokes the noble savage again and again, showing himself in favour of tribal societies, depicting them as egalitarian - i'm sure many of them are, but many also have a strict hierarchy or like. practice fgm. once more he seems to treat tribal people as a monolith of goodness as opposed to... people.

he also cites prehistoric people, their egalitarianism and low rates of violence but. forgive me for my ignorance because i did not research this. how do people know. doesn't the definition of prehistory include a lack of records??

he also mentions that in small, tribal societies, conformism can be a good thing, as it makes people act for the communal good. this is another knee-jerk reaction of mine but i think of conformism as society's most significant vice, so this strikes very much against my beliefs

later on, he also says reproduction is another proof of humanities goodness. perhaps it's a controversial opinion, but i disagree. i find it hard to find reasons for reproduction that aren't egoistic. it's survival instinct, sure, but it's not an "inherently noble pursuit".

later yet, he brings up schools which grant large degrees of freedom to students and shows how they're good for developing their minds. this might be a me thing but i know from experience that when i'm granted freedom without structure, i do nothing - though perhaps that speaks ill of me, and not humanity.

there have, in fact, been many studies on schools like this being helpful to student development and i certainly won't argue with them - but let me nit-pick. bregman says that fewer students have adhd in these schools, as it is a condition caused by being locked inside a room all day which is not only offensive, but also just plain wrong

and also while showing how granting children freedom lets them develop (which i naturally agree with) he brings up that "dangerous playground" study. you know the one. this isn't a coherent argument, this is just my bias speaking , but as a child, i promise i had no desire to play with rusty nails in abandoned warehouses. i liked my boring playgrounds with wooden swings.

then there is a chapter on communism and how it could be a remedy to societies ailments. but bregman and i seem to operate on very different definitions of communism. he naturally starts with saying maoist china and stalinist russia and cambodia under pol pot weren't really communist which... sure, if you want to argue semantics, i'm all for it, but it's an old and essentially useless argument. if "real communism" has never been tried (as the author claims) - why?

and then we pass to perhaps the most bizarre fragment of the book. paraphrasing only slightly: "but why are we now so opposed to the word communism? when we pass each other salt at the dinner table, is that not communism? when we selflessly hold a door open for someone, is that not communism?" i.... no?? no it's not. that's not what communism is girl stop

he then also says facebook is actually communist in many ways since a lot of its value comes from photos people willingly share for free. i could not make this up if i tried.

i think that in most terms i agree with bregman on policy - direct democracy, school and prison systems, changes to the criminal justice system - and our reasoning is partially similar, but i don't think the information we both have access to proves that humans are inherently good.

and then come perhaps my least favourite arguments because i for one am a spiteful bitch but yes. it is time for christian ethics 101 and turning the other cheek.

he cites ghandi and mlk as examples of turning the other cheek working. i think ghandi went too far with his policy, what with saying "jews ought to have marched silently to their deaths or committed mass suicide to make nazis feel ashamed" and like. we do remember they killed mlk, right?

as an example of turning the other cheek, he cites humane prisons in norway, where prisoners are granted much larger freedoms than usual and are on equal footing with the guards, who aren't armed and act more as councillors. i don't really see how this is an example of turning the other cheek, though - the guards are not the victims of the inmates (it was a prison for violent offenders - many of them murderers). i agree with him that prisons, if they must exist, should treat inmates humanely and with respect, but i don't see how this relates to the turning of the cheek. statistically, many of these men probably murdered their mates in a drunken dispute, or killed their wives - and i don't think turning the other cheek would have helped their victims.

he also cites south africa in the sixties as an example of turning the other cheek, when anti-apartheid activists would meet up with pro-apartheid activists and talk - this included nelson mandela who had frequent talks with the leader of a white supremacist paramilitary organisation of afrikaners staunchly opposed to black south africans getting the vote. and it worked - the man, whose aim was starting a civil war, relented. but racism isn't a simple matter that can simply be solved by talking. and it is often a pragmatic policy which i don't disparage, but turning the other cheek and having to treat someone who refuses to acknowledge your humanity with an exorbitantly disproportionate amount of respect is inherently degrading.

skipping ahead, in the epilogue bregman lists ten rules he tries to live by, and one of them is, i shit you not, "don't punch nazis". and punching nazis doesn't stop them from being nazis, but turning the other cheek gets people killed

the rise of fascism is perhaps one the largest threats we are dealing with and fascists are not just isolated and misinformed (and in this day and age, ignorance is a choice). they are dangerous.

this is by no means an essay or an exhaustive list, just a slightly chaotic and much overdue collection of opinions which i don't know how to put under a read more. take care <3

[aliendes]

Natural Borns - Chapter Five

Banner made by @thebannershop​

​Series info/genre: Angst, fluff, future smut - NSFW due to darker themes

Pairings: ot7 x fem reader (eventual)

Warnings: mentions of sex in exchange for favors but it doesn’t actually happen, mentions of suicide, anxiety, and depression. Mentions of alcohol, tobacco, and drug use. Mentions of prescription drugs and medical stuff like blood. Insinuations of poly relationships, if this make you uncomfortable, this will be a reoccurring theme for the rest of the series. The boys love each other, that’s the point of this story. Mentions of skipping meals? If that’s a warning.  Warnings will be different for each chapter from here on out. 

Description: In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are what scientists consider ‘designer babies’. YN is a small town girl who is a true natural born, someone born naturally without he help of a lab or gene splicing. Her DNA is greatly sought after, but what is she willing to do to protect it?

Word count: 4.2k ~ 

A/N: I’m really excited for this chapter! This is Yoongi’s backstory! Yay!! There is also some juicy info in this chapter that will be explored in the next one. Also, you guys voted for smut with romantic relationships, so please note that for the rest of the series, there will be smut, poly relationships, etc. If this makes you uncomfortable, I totally understand. If you want to be added/removed from the taglist please send me an ask! Enjoy!!

xx Des

Updated: 8/15/2020

As the day went on, and the sun started to set beyond the hills, your mind was plagued with the thoughts that this was all a horrible, horrible idea.  

After you stormed out of the warehouse, the remaining four men in Yoongi’s room continued to argue about whether or not it would be a good idea to let you help with their plan. Seokjin and Jungkook were firmly against it. They felt enchanted by your personality and something about you was captivating to them. Hoseok and Yoongi were both incredibly unsure of your place in this family, not yet trusting of you. Yoongi obviously felt an attraction to you, but he wasn’t entirely sure it was anything beyond physical at this point. Though, he knew if he let it, it would fester into something much, much stronger. Whenever you were present he could feel himself start to slip. The cold exterior he always made a show of keeping up, crumbling to ash in his hands. He can’t deny the way his heart clenched in his chest when you ran out of the room. He wanted to run after you, tell you that he wouldn’t make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with. But he held himself back. He’s had plenty of practice holding himself back and not allowing his emotions to crack his icy walls. 

Namjoon was Yoongi’s first friend in the facility. They were both ‘bought’ from their mothers when they were teenagers, and since they were similar in age, they roomed together at Big Hit. Namjoon had already been at the lab for a few months before Yoongi showed up, disheveled and scared. Unlike Namjoon, Yoongi had a very hard time coping with the fact that he now had to live in a cramped room with another boy, be poked and prodded and experimented on. 

Namjoon had lived a pretty sheltered life, and didn’t have too many friends growing up. Yoongi was the complete opposite. He was seen as the ‘bad boy’ in his high school, always getting the girls because of his unusual good looks, smoking cigarettes behind the school, and causing trouble in his classes. He liked to think he had a lot of friends, but most of them were deadbeats who only hung around him because he stole cigarettes and alcohol from his mom’s boyfriends. Regardless, he enjoyed being out of the house and living his life the way he wanted to. When he was brought to Big Hit, all of that changed. His freedoms were stripped from him, even basic human needs were stripped from him. They would often go days without eating, only being given water, told that they had to ‘fast’ in order for certain experiments to work, or for certain blood work to be done. All of the torture they endured was ‘in the name of science’. Or so they were told. 

Yoongi went through the stages of grief pretty quickly in the lab. When he first arrived, he was extremely upset, in denial that any of that was actually happening to him. He would tell Namjoon that his mom would come get him any minute now, and all of this would be some horrible joke she played on him to get him back on the straight and narrow, get him to stop skipping school and drinking. After a few days went by, he realized she wasn’t coming, and anger quickly took over him. Yoongi attempted to break down the door in his and Namjoon’s tiny room, to no avail. Eventually the guards sedated him and Namjoon had to look after him for two days while he sweated out the medication, shaking and dehydrated from lack of fluids. After that happened, he started to bargain with the guards or the doctors that would come take him into exam rooms, telling them he would do anything for them to release him, even resorting to offering favors in exchange for freedom. He never followed through with any of his offers, but he would later hate himself for stooping that low. 

After a few weeks of this, Yoongi eventually developed severe depression, even being put on suicide watch at one point. After spending so much time together in their tiny dorm, Namjoon started to really care for the older boy and was extremely distraught over his behavior. He would tell Yoongi that everything would be ok, and one day they would get out of there. Some nights it got so bad Namjoon would slip into Yoongi’s bed and hold him close while he sobbed or when he woke up from nightmares. 

Yoongi would sleep away days at a time, not eating or drinking water. Namjoon would have to force water down his throat when he was getting delirious and having horrible migraines that prevented him from moving around too much. Namjoon would lay with him while he shook from dehydration mixed with the meds they gave him. Yoongi lost his will to live, lost his will to do anything but accept what the lab was doing to him. There was nothing he could do about it, and while Namjoon had remained optimistic about their future, Yoongi accepted their fate and allowed the doctors and technicians to do whatever they wanted with him. He became a shell of his former self, not getting out of bed unless carried by Namjoon or the technicians, staring at the wall for hours on end, and only speaking when he was forced by the doctors. Namjoon cried for his friend, only wanting to help, wanting to get him out of there. 

That was why Namjoon came up with the escape plan. One night, after Yoongi had been at the facility for nearly a year, Namjoon woke him up in the early hours of the morning. Apparently, the younger had been learning the rotations of the technicians and the guards when he was being moved from room to room. He would also listen in on their conversations while he was being given meds or having his blood drawn in the exam room, which was right next to the guard room. He didn’t tell Yoongi what he was doing because he didn’t want anyone to overhear them and ruin his plan, so Yoongi was completely shocked to learn he had all of this planned out.

Namjoon said that the guards would be on break in the guard room around 3:30 AM, and at 3:40 AM the technician on duty would rotate with the morning shift, who comes in at 3:45 AM and the guards would end their break around the same time, giving them a five minute window to get out of their rooms and down a hallway that led to the elevators. They both knew that this hallway led away from the exam rooms, and therefore, away from the guards. Yoongi was even more shocked when Namjoon pulled a keycard out of his back pocket that he took off one of the guards earlier when he was being given medication. That keycard would allow them to get onto the elevator and, hopefully, escape this place. 

Given all the things that could’ve gone wrong, Namjoon and Yoongi’s escape went relatively seamlessly, and once they were out of that God forsaken place, they moved from place to place together, sleeping on the streets, abandoned houses, and homeless shelters, until they met Seokjin and Jungkook. Two men who were at one point, also housed at Big Hit, but released for different reasons. They would later meet the others and form the family they know and love today. Yoongi was thankful for the six men, living with them, and growing with them. They had a shared traumatic experience that they helped each other through, leaned on each other, and eventually developed a bond that they never expected.

Even after all these years, Yoongi still admired Namjoon and was beyond thankful for him for being there through his darkest times. Quite literally keeping him alive in the facility when he had given up trying. He owed Namjoon his life and respected him more than anyone on this planet. He never wanted to disappoint him and has been helping him find other natural borns to further his vision of equality, even if he didn’t always want to. Yoongi would much rather it just be the seven of them for the rest of their lives, but he understood why Namjoon pushed for this, why he stood up for others that couldn’t stand up for themselves. It was one of the many reasons he admired the man. 

That is exactly why Yoongi is currently standing outside the warehouse, back against the large metal door you had run out of earlier today. The sun had set over an hour ago, meaning you had been gone most of the day. The others would have panicked by now, had it not been for Hoseok alerting them of your whereabouts. They were all shocked when Hobi had come into Yoongi’s room a few hours ago, letting them all know he had been watching you from the second floor, sitting on a rock down by the quarry. Jungkook and Seokjin had both wanted to go to you, but Namjoon talked them down, telling them you needed time to process everything that had happened to you. You were dealing with a lot, even now, and you didn’t even have the full story. They knew Namjoon’s words were true, having gone through something similar themselves. Though, they couldn’t imagine how you were feeling, having to suddenly leave your family with little explanation. 

It was only after Namjoon pulled Yoongi aside in the hallway, telling him again he needed to fix this, apologize to you, even if he didn’t want to. He needed to make sure you stayed with them because if you didn’t, you’d be in more danger than you realized. Yoongi would never let Namjoon down, and so, he made his way down to the water to make good on his promise to fix this. 

You were vaguely aware that the sun had set a while ago, sat on a rock, knees pulled to your chest, and face resting upon your crossed arms. You weren’t sobbing anymore, just a few stray tears falling every now and then. You were sure your face was red and swollen with how much crying you’ve done today. 

The sound of the ripples on the water, the wind slowly blowing the trees around you, and the sound of chirping crickets was helping you relax, but with nightfall, brought cooler temperatures. Even though it was summer, it was still a bit chilly at night with how much humidity was in the air. Being right next to water wasn’t helping either. Just as a chill ran down your spine, causing you to shiver violently, you felt something warm being draped over your shoulder.

You startled, head snapping up at the new presence beside you, causing you to let out a curse as you nearly fell backwards. As you righted yourself, you were met with a pair of nearly black eyes that you least expected to see right now. “You’re shivering,” Yoongi coldly stated, face emotionless as he looked down at your pathetic state.

Way to state the obvious, you thought. But truthfully, you were thankful for the warmth of the leather jacket he had wrapped you in. You audibly gulped, looking up at him with eyes as wide as they could go, considering how puffy they were. “T- th- thanks…” you trailed off quietly, grabbing the sides of the jacket to pull it closer to you. You hadn’t realized just how cold you were. 

“You coming back up?”

You mulled over his question for a moment. You were cold. And hungry. And completely and utterly exhausted and probably dehydrated with the river of tears you’ve cried today. Yet, you didn’t feel all that welcome in their ‘home’ and you were unsure if you really wanted to go back. Yoongi seemed to notice your hesitancy, taking the opportunity to say what he had practiced all the way down here. Talking wasn’t his strong suit. “They’re really worried about you, you know,” he uttered, softer than before, but still monotone.

Is that what he came all the way down here to tell you? You furrowed your brows at him, “They can come down here if they want,” you were pretty sure your brazen attitude was stemming from your emotional state and the chilly breeze, “they didn’t have to send you.”

Yoongi pursed his lips into a thin line, biting his tongue from saying what he really wanted to say, you think I want to be here? Instead, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose and let out a long sigh. When he opened his eyes, he saw you still staring at him, daring him to say something. He liked it, the fire in you. You seemed like a shy girl, timid even. He hoped you still had that fire after you learned what a horrible, unjust world you all live in. 

Yoongi sat down on the rock next to you, not asking first, just making room for himself. You quickly scooted over, not feeling incredibly comfortable with him yet. “I’m sorry,” he began, staring down at his lap, “I was being unfair.” It almost sounded like the words were forced, like he didn’t really mean them, or want to say them, but you still took some comfort in the fact he was at least apologizing to you. Not that you thought he owed you an apology, but it still felt nice.

“No, you aren’t being unfair,” you murmured, looking out at the now cerulean blue water, “I’m sorry. Sorry I’m here.”

You sounded so small, so defeated. You reminded Yoongi of how he felt when he was first taken from his family. Scared, alone. Something in him wanted to reach out to you, comfort you, and he almost did, stopping his hand midair before it could reach your arm. You noticed his movement out of the corner of your eye and before he could retract his hand, you flinched. Actually flinched away from him. It was slight, but it still took Yoongi by surprise, jaw hanging slack, eyes widening at your apparent fear. Of him. Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever felt shittier in his life. Was he so cold someone was actually afraid he’d hurt them? He’s never hurt anyone in his life. Sure, he was a ‘bad boy’, broke his fair share of laws, but he has never, ever, hurt another person. 

“YN -”, he retracted his hand immediately, bringing it behind his back, wanting to hide the offending appendage, “I - wh -” he wasn’t even sure how to finish his sentence. He watched you pull your knees closer to your chest and lay your forehead on them, letting out a breath you had been holding. You didn’t look scared, you looked exasperated, and he wasn’t sure if that made him feel any better at all. 

You didn’t actually think Yoongi would hurt you, you’ve just been so used to people treating you however they want, especially in high school. Boys would push you around in the hallways, girls would pull your hair in class and steal your backpack from under the lunch table. After high school, men would pull on your skirts or dresses at the market while you tried to sell flowers with a smile plastered on your face, which inevitably caused you to throw away any clothes that weren’t pants and baggy shirts. You were relatively afraid of people, and even though you trusted the men who took you in and have been helping you, you still didn’t know Yoongi, or the type of person he was. Now you felt remorse at the look on his face when you flinched away. He looks honestly heartbroken, regret written all over his features. You shook your head back and forth, forehead rubbing against your linen covered knees. 

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed quietly, not daring to look back at the blonde next to you.

Yoongi’s heart broke further at the sound, “Can I touch you?” 

Though you were shocked at Yoongi’s sudden query, you didn’t lift your head. Slowly, you nodded up and down, hoping he could see it. Now that you were expecting the movement, you didn’t startle as Yoongi scooted closer to you on the rock and gently, softly, ran a large, warm hand up and down your spine. Yoongi inwardly noted that your bones were perhaps sticking out a little too far, that maybe you’ve skipped one too many meals lately. Or maybe, you didn’t have access to them. He wasn’t sure. He had no idea what kind of home you lived in. He had limited information, and most of it was about your father. That thought made him remember something, “Pearl?” Yoongi whispered cautiously, not sure how you would react to him having this knowledge. Hoping that you would find some sort of comfort in it, since your friends and mother called you that. 

You immediately stopped sniffling, body going stiff as a board. You sat up abruptly and looked Yoongi dead in the eyes, “What did you call me?” He could see the red rims of your swollen eyes, dried tear tracks being covered by new ones and another piece of his heart cracked off, swallowed by the ocean of his chest.

“Pearl,” he uttered again, a little more confidently, “isn’t that your nickname?”

“H-how?” You stuttered, staring into his vast ocean eyes. They held more emotion than you were accustomed to, coming from him. You gently shook your head back and forth to dislodge the tears that were gathering at the corners. 

Yoongi visibly blushed at your question, quickly avoiding your gaze and turning his head to the side and removing his hand from your back. You momentarily missed the warmth. He looked like he was gazing out at the water, but you could tell he was embarrassed. You narrowed your eyes at him. What was he hiding? “Yoongi?” You sniffled again, which caught his attention. He bit his cheek and looked at you through his lashes.

“I- I’m sorry.”

You were even more confused now. “For?”

“Everything,” he let out an exasperated sigh, “for yelling at you last night, for acting like sending you to Big Hit was a good idea, and…” he trailed off. You waited a moment, tears forgotten as you listened to the man be sincere for the first time since you met him, “for going through your phone.” His words were quiet, so quiet you almost asked him to repeat himself, but after a moment realization hit you.

“Y- you went through my phone?” Long gone was the remorse you felt for leaving your friends, the sorrow you felt at possibly losing your family. In its place, was anger. An ugly, red monster that was brewing in your chest. A part of you knew it was irrational, but the other part knew that he wouldn’t be ashamed if he didn’t feel like he did something wrong. This man, who yelled at you, made you feel small, made you think you didn’t matter… had invaded your privacy. Namjoon promised he would shut off service to your phone, making it untraceable. He promised it would be safe in their hands. You wouldn’t let your mind trace this back to Namjoon, no. He did nothing wrong. You were angry at the blonde sitting in front of you, wide-eyed with a mouth shaped like an “o”. 

He shook himself out of the momentary shock at your reaction, “Y- yes,” he dragged out before quickly adding, “and I’m so sorry YN, really I am. It was wrong of me, and I know that. I know that! I just…”

You cut him off before he could finish that thought, “If you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?”

There was a deep ‘v’ forming on your forehead. The face you wore didn’t resemble someone who was angry, more concerned. Or disappointed. Yeah, that was the right word, Yoongi thought. He felt small in this moment, like he was a child being scolded for stealing cookies. He sighed and looked down at his hands folded in his lap.

“I was scared,” was all he could come up with at the moment, feeling so incredibly guilty and having no other way to express it to you.

“Scared?” You scoffed, he hasn’t been acting very scared. In fact, it seemed more like he was putting on a tough guy persona to try and scare you. “Of what, exactly?” You were feeling brazened now, these boys were really bringing out the sides of you, weren’t they?

A beat passed before Yoongi uttered, “Of losing my soulmates.”

The anger you were feeling just moments ago, dissipated in tiny fractures until all that was left in its wake was empathy for the man sitting across from you. For the first time since you met him, you felt like you saw Yoongi’s rock solid wall, crack slightly. His expression was still blank, like usual, but there was something in his eyes that was calling out to you, for help. He was just like the others. Scared, alone, worried. He found a home in these men, his best friends, maybe even his lovers. Something you were just starting to realize you might be finding in them, too. You were all alike, in some way or another. All felt like you didn’t belong, and here, with each other, you did belong. If you could feel that, you can’t imagine what Yoongi must feel for the others, having spent so much time with them. 

You look away from Yoongi’s eyes, staring out at the water like he had been moments ago, cracking under the pressure of his intense gaze. Biting your lip to keep the dam from breaking again you whisper, “I shouldn’t be here.”

Yoongi wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly, but after a moment realized what you had meant by that. “That’s not what I meant, YN,” he sighed and ran a hand down his face, “really, it’s not.”

“No, I know, Yoongi,” you started, not turning to look at him just yet, “I’ve been thinking about it all day. I don’t want to walk in here and ruin what you guys have, get in the way of your friendships, or relationships,” you blushed at the insinuation, “I should go home. We don’t even know if my parents know anything, or if they even planned on giving me to Big Hit. I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions, they know that.”

Yoongi started to panic, not just because he knew Seokjin and Jungkook would be crushed if you chose to leave, but because he knew you didn’t know the whole truth. Should he tell you? Namjoon would kill him. He didn’t want to disappoint his best friend, his savior, his love. But, he also didn’t want to possibly endanger you by allowing you to return home. He was already starting to care deeply for you and was terrified of the possibility of you getting hurt. “YN -” he started before sucking his lips between his teeth, contemplating his next words. At his silence, you removed your gaze from the quarry and turned towards the nervous looking man. He was wringing his wrist between the fingers of his other hand, a nervous tick. 

You looked at him expectantly through long lashes, eyes still red rimmed from crying away most of the day. Yoongi still thought you looked ethereal, especially with the way the moon was reflecting in your eyes. It was like he could see the entire galaxy staring back at him, and it made him feel things he didn’t want to feel right now. Not when he was about to break your heart.

“YN I, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go back. I know you don’t trust me,” he rushed out, making sure you weren’t going to cut him off again, “just let me explain why I’m saying this. I haven’t made the greatest impression on you, and for that I really am sorry. Like I said, I was scared. That’s not an excuse to treat someone poorly, but I hope you can understand that I love the others more than I love myself.”

Your eyes softened at his confession. You could see the love they shared for each other, but hearing him say it really solidified your observations. “Namjoon isn’t telling you the whole truth,” he noticed your eyes go wide, at mentally slapped himself for the poor choice of words before quickly saying, “it’s not what you think! You are like us. You are different. And you are in danger. But Namjoon knew if he told you just how much danger you were in, you probably wouldn’t trust him. He’s not a bad guy, in fact, he’s the exact opposite. He’s saved my life once before and I’m positive he’d do the same for you.”

If you weren’t confused before, you sure as hell are now. They were lying to you? “YN, your parents,” he let out another sigh hating the words he was about to say, “they are the ones lying to you. Hyunwoo and your father weren’t classmates. They worked together,” he felt like a traitor, like he was letting Namjoon down, “he’s a beneficiary of Big Hit. They’re already paying for you.”

To be continued... 

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copyright 2020 aliendes

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 19

Good evening, afternoon, morning to everyone and welcome to chapter 19.

I have a few notes before letting you to the chapter. Rowan and Aelin finally attend Heb Celt. Heb Celt is this wonderful festival held in Stornoway each year (non covid years) and it's all about Scottish and Celtic music. It's big and it's amazing. That's where they are. I mentioned some groups. Peat and Diesel have been mentioned before in the fic. The new ones are Skerryvore and Skipinnish. they do some amazing music and I highly recommend it if you want to try some Scottish bands. They also sing in Gaelic. The song from Skerryvore that Aelin sing is called You and I. Awesome stuff.

Half way through you will notice Elide and Lorcan appearing in the fic. I tried to keep Lorcan IC as much as i could. not an easy task. I had to give them modern world jobs so Lorcan in my head is perfect for a rugby player. He is the Captain of the Glasgow warriors. They are a real team in Glasgow. The boys also mention the Six Nations. This is a wonderful competition that if you are in Europe you might have heard of. It happens every year and it has 6 teams competing: Scotland (YAY), Italy (YAY - I am Italian... imagine my pain on a Sco vs Ita game), Wales, Ireland and France. I love this competition and it's going to start this weekend. Rowan and Lorcan joke about England and Scotland. Although England wins most of the times (grrrrr) a few years back Scotland actually won and it almost became a new national day after St Andrews. I am not joking. Rugby is a big thing in Scotland.

Two Gaelic phrases: -Tha Gàidhlig agam cuideachd: I speak Gaelic too -Tha beagan Gàidhlig agam. I speak little Gaelic.

Quick update as well about the fic. Most of the chapters have some big chunks written. But there are two important chapters: 22 - something big happens. I wrote the main important part 5 times already and probably re write another five before i publish it. It involves something I don't usually write and I am really nervous. So finger crossed.

26: this will be the last chapter (there's an epilogue as well) and again I have written the main event. There is so much fluff that it's probably not healthy :)

So, after this massive introduction I can let you go and enjoy (hopefully) the chapter.

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Aelin had woken up before Rowan that morning. It was finally mid July and it was Heb Celt day and she was super excited. The festival would run for three days but they had chosen the one with the most of their favourite artists. Plus Rowan had tickets for Peat and Diesel and they could not miss them. She rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen. That morning it was her turn for once to prepare breakfast. Rowan had taught her enough for her to make breakfast safely without burning the house down. It was a special day and she was going to make eggs and bacon, the only concession Rowan would make in his perfect diet. Once a week they could treat themselves to a non healthy breakfast. She prepared the coffee, sliced some bread for the toaster and started frying the bacon in one pan and getting the eggs ready as well. She felt good, she could make breakfast for Rowan for once. She was almost done when she felt his arms around her waist and a soft kiss behind her ear. “It smells lovely.”

“It’s a special day today so we are having our special breakfast.” She told him while finishing ti prepare the eggs. She was very proud of her job. “I’ll set the table.” He added and moved away and she missed his arms. “So, the main event is tonight at seven.” She said passing him the plates with food “I had a look at some events and it seems there is enough for us to fill up the entire day.” “You have done a good job,” he commented taking a bite of the food she had prepared for him. She tasted it as well and found it edible. Well, at least she was not going to poison them and he seemed satisfied. “Look at you.” He pulled her to him, and Aelin sat on his lap. She grabbed her plate and finished her breakfast with one of his arms around her. She was really loving it living with him. It had taken her a little while to adjust to his way of life but she had realised that living with him was quite easy. They had their little fights but he seemed to hate to hold grudges for too long so every time they had fixed their issues quite quickly. The two of them ate in silence for a moment “This is good, Fireheart.” And he polished off his plate. “I had a good teacher.” She stood and Rowan noticed that she was only wearing a large t-shirt, his t-shirt, and under it he could very barely notice her underwear. He grabbed her and pulled her back on his lap and she straddled him. His hands landed on her butt and she kissed him. “You really love teasing me, don’t you?” “It’s fun.” He looked at her in a weird way “Sure, torturing a poor man like that.” She got up again and took all the plates to the sink and she walked swaying her hips on purpose. Rowan almost howled at the sight. She started washing the dishes and at the same time she began dancing and singing and that’s the way we do it, the way we do it in the Western Isles. Rowan laughed and helped her. She washed and he dried them. She kept singing and bumped her hips into his and the two started dancing together. Once they were done Aelin went to her old room to get changed. She wore a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Then she braided her hair and tied a colourful bandana to her head. She prepared her backpack and she was ready to go. Once out, Rowan was waiting for her. He had blue shorts a grey t-shirt and on top of it a blue shirt with short sleeves and his sunglasses on top of his head. Aelin took a photo of him “so sexy.” He raised an eyebrow at her comment “I am not—“ “Shh…” she said placing a finger on his lips “I am your girlfriend and I am the one to judge.” He bit her finger in reply. “Fine, fine.” He grabbed her hand “Come on, I have a surprise for you.” Her face lit up and he could spend an entire day staring at her smiling at him. It was such a beautiful sight. They left the house and began their walk all the way to the harbour and Aelin was getting curious about their destination. They reached a small house down at the pier and Rowan pulled her toward the small group of people gathered. Aelin noticed another couple and a woman on her own. She was quite intent in studying the couple. The woman was quite petite with black hair and black eyes as well and she had a very bright smile. The man was almost the opposite. He was tall, Aelin suspected even taller than Rowan, something she could not believe it was possible. He had a thick muscular build with long dark hair and same for his eyes. But where she exuded a friendly attitude, he seemed to scowl even at the stones. “Is this part of the festival?” Wondering about his plan. “In a manner.” He explained quite vaguely “It’s just a pre festival fun.” Sure, now it was clear, thought Aelin, none the wiser. Rowan left her side for a moment and she noticed him talking with a man who, from the way he was dressed seemed to be a crew member on a boat. Rowan looked relaxed and Aelin suspected the two were friends. And with sadness she realised she had never met any of Rowan’s friend and he did not seem to mention any of them. “Ready for an adventure?” He told her once he came back, carrying two lifejackets. Aelin stared at him and then he pointed at the small rib boat and he gave her a huge grin. “I know one of crew members, Callum,” and he pointed at the man he was talking to. We used to dive together. I asked him if he could save us two seats for this morning. It’s a gorgeous day and a boat trip seems like the best way to spend the morning.” “You are a very resourceful man, Rowan Whitethorn.” She tiptoed on her feet and kissed his nose. One of the crew member walked around distributing lifejackets and explained the basic health and safety measures. Aelin wore her vest and Rowan double checked it was up to his standards. Once he was happy that the jacket was safely on he helped her to get on the rib. The brunette girl who was part of the couple sat beside her giving her a wide smile full of excitement that probably mirrored Aelin’s. “I am Elide.” The woman introduced herself and Aelin took her hand. “I am Aelin.” She smiled back “Are you here for the festival too?” She had a feeling they were tourists. “Yes,” she replied excited “Lorcan and I come every year. We love it.” Then she turned to the man at her side “This is Lorcan by the way. Don’t worry he does not bite. That is just his regular face” and the man grunted in reply. Aelin laughed. The man seemed to be mad at the world. She turned to introduce Rowan to the couple, but she noticed he was still on the pier chatting away with one of the crew members. “The tall guy on the pier with the blue shirt? My boyfriend, Rowan.” Elide’s gaze took in Rowan and Aelin smiled wickedly at the woman’s stare of understanding. “Did you come here for the festival too?” “Oh, Rowan and I live here. He is the local, I moved her a few months ago.” “Nice,” said the woman. Aelin liked her already, she had a very bubbly personality. “Lorcan and I live in Glasgow.” “I never been there but Rowan did uni there..” “You should come and visit. It’s quite a fantastic city. So alive.” Rowan finally returned and sat down beside Aelin “nice chat?” “Yeah, I haven’t seen him in ages. I knew he had opened a boat tours business but I never had the chance to come and say hi. We were just discussing some ideas for possible diving adventures.” She caressed his head and realised that there was still so much she did not know about him. Some days he still felt like a huge mystery, but still, she was madly in love with him and she was looking to find out more about him day by day. “I made a friend by the way,” and she pointed at the woman at her side “This is Elide. She and her boyfriend Lorcan are here for the festival too.” Rowan extended his hand and then he and Lorcan exchanged a manly nod and both women rolled their eyes. Rowan fussed over her again and double checked one more time that her lifejacket was fitted and tied properly, when the rib boat started to move. His hand reached behind her back and he leaned comfortably against the side of the boat and closed his eyes, letting the sun kiss his face. Aelin and Elide on the other hand, were taking photos and chatting away happily pointing at all the points of interest. The boat glided on the water and Aelin leaned back against Rowan, taking in the scenery in front of her. She had explored all of that during her adventures, but seeing it from the water was a completely different experience. “Thank you for this.” She said to him. “Hopefully we will see some wildlife.” He added “Callum said that yesterday they spotted Orcas.” Aelin’s eyes went wide in surprise “I saw whales at the Butt of Lewis, or what I think it was whales.” “Highly likely.” Then she turned to Elide “So, you guys are staying here for the whole festival?” The woman nodded “Yes, Lorcan and I always rent a cottage for a week and spend the whole weekend at the festival. I am looking forward the main event tonight: Peat and Diesel.” Aelin almost squealed “us too. Rowan introduced me to them very recently and I am dying to see them live.” “We have been to one of their concerts in Glasgow at the Barrowlands.” Said Lorcan almost grumbling. “Oh, he speaks,” joked Elide, patting his leg and giving him a smile. He did not reply and just placed a hand on her back. “What about we spend the day together?” Aelin turned all excited to Rowan who gave her a nod “Yes,” she shouted looking at Elide again. They sailed for a bit longer and reached Tiumpan Head and Rowan told her to keep and eye on the sea. Not a moment later she spotted a couple of fins and she and Elide almost jumped. “Dolphins,” Rowan said in her ear. She made a 360 and sat on her knees facing now the water. She felt Rowan’s arm tight around her waist. “Please, don’t fall in the water.” Her hand was in the water and a dolphin passed very close to her and she almost touched it. Rowan used his free hand to take pictures of her. His phone gallery had nothing but pictures of Aelin. Elide turned as well and Rowan noticed the panic in the other man’s eyes and they exchanged a glance of understanding. Aelin leaned a bit further but Rowan’s arm pulled her back “Please don’t. Lifeguard service is not in my plans for today.” “There’s dolphins around the boat.” Aelin squealed. “I know, Fireheart,” he pulled her back “but you need to calm down.” She sat back down to a safer position and Rowan felt like he could breath again. “Is that Tolsta?” She then asked when they continued north and she recognised the place in front of her. The closer they got to the beach the clearer the water got and Aelin was in awe “This reminds me of when Lys and I swam at Luskentyre.” Oh yeah, Rowan remembered the day and very quickly chased the memories away. They were in public. The boat made a turn and they began to make their way back to the town. Aelin snuggled to Rowan’s chest, with her arms around his waist. “Are you cold?” He demanded “I have your favourite hoodie with me.” “I am fine.” An hour later they were back at the harbour and Aelin was high on excitement. The trip had been amazing. Once off the boat she flung her arms around Rowan’s neck and kissed him “Thank you. I loved my surprise.” “You are most welcome.” He pulled back from her “Let me say bye to Callum.” And she was left alone with Elide and Lorcan. “That was a nice trip.” Said the woman, grabbing her boyfriend’s hand. “Totally. I had never seen dolphins before. It was so awesome.” “Really?” Elide was curious. Aelin nodded “Until a few months ago I lived in London. Born and bred there. Not much chance to see dolphins in the water. I doubt they would enjoy the Thames.” Elide gazed at Lorcan “We were planning a quick weekend in the capital next month.” “Ask me anything. I can tell you the best places to go and how to survive London without breaking the bank.” “That would be lovely,” was Lorcan’s reply “I feel like I need a mortgage for this trip.” He kissed the woman’s head and she noticed the first sign of affection “But it’s a belated birthday present, so…” he shrugged. “Ach, I can help you with that. I survived London on a budget when I was student.” Rowan finally came back and embraced her from behind “Sorry, Callum and I were just planning an excursion for next Sunday.” He kissed her ear. “Can I come too?” “Of course.” Then he lifted his head and looked at their two companions for the day “Aelin and I are going to grab lunch, fancy joining us?” Lorcan almost protested but Elide poked his shoulder “Stop being grumpy.” Then she turned to Aelin and Rowan “Of course we are coming.” Rowan smiled and took Aelin’s hand and started walking to Maeve’s. He laughed when he noticed that Aelin was almost skipping. Gods, the woman had never ending energy. While walking to Maeve’s Rowan and Lorcan ended up side by side and Aelin just noticed that her assumption was right and Lorcan really was taller that Rowan. The man must have been closer to two metres. She felt tiny all of a sudden and Elide seemed even more petite beside the huge man. She could put Aedion with them as well and they could form a sexy, tall wall of muscles. She grinned and was glad that Rowan was busy talk to Elide so he did not notice her savage blush. They reached the cafe and noticed that it was packed and Rowan sighed. He loved the festival but it also meant a savage invasion disrupting his day to day life. He entered first and went to his aunt and Aelin smiled when she noticed that Maeve had managed to find some space for them. “Privileges of being related to the owner,” he smiled, going back to them. “This is a lovely place,” commented Elide “why we never stopped here?” “So, will you be enjoying the entire festival as well?” Asked Elide, passing a menu to Lorcan. “No, Rowan and I will be doing today only. Tomorrow we have to reopen the bookshop.” The woman’s eyes lit up in surprise “do you run the bookshop down the road?” Rowan nodded “It’s my shop.” He took Aelin’s hand in his “she helps.” “Yeah, I fix his displays and I charm customer. Rowan scares them away by being a grump” She grinned back at him and he, in exchange, flicked her nose. “I am a primary school teacher,” continued Elide who was definitely the chattier of the pair “And Lorcan is the coach of the Glasgow Warriors. They are a rugby team.” And Aelin was grateful to the woman for the clarification. “No way.” Said Rowan amazed “That’s why you looked familiar. You were their captain until a few years back. Lorcan Salvaterre.” Lorcan nodded. “I studied at Glasgow university and the Warriors were, and still are, my favourite team. I went to see plenty of their games. You guys are awesome.” “You like rugby?” “Aye,” added Rowan and Aelin studied him for a moment. He was alive all of a sudden, his usual calm disappeared and he was one beautiful sight “Stornoway has a small club and I go and watch some of the games. But I miss the big league guys. I usually get tickets for the Six Nations as well.” Lorcan smiled “I can get you some tickets for one of Scotland’s home games. Perhaps for the one against England. Wonder if it will be finally the year we trash them as they deserve.” “Hey,” Aelin exclaimed almost hurt “English woman here.” And as a joke she pushed her London accent. “No one is perfect, Fireheart.” Rowan kissed her temple. She pinched his side and he barely reacted “Fine, I will support England this year, just to annoy you” She threatened and the two guys glared at her. “Fine.” She raised her hands “but you need to teach me Flower of Scotland.” “It would be my pleasure.” And he pulled her to him and in that instant Maeve came with their order “Sorry for the wait guys, we are quite busy today.” Rowan said something in Gaelic to his aunt and she walked away with a smile. Elide turned to him “Tha Gàidhlig agam cuideachd.” Rowan’s face lit up. “I teach at the Glasgow Gaelic School. I am not a native. I picked it up at uni and I fell in love with it. I spent some time on the islands to learn it and then I got a job as a teacher.” “Yeah if she starts to shout at me in Gaelic I know she is really mad at me.” The man joked taking her hand. “I only know a few sentences. Tha beagan Gàidhlig agam.” Aelin said proudly “Rowan has been teaching me.” They finished their lunch chatting away nicely and getting to know each other. Lorcan did manage to utter a few more sentences but he became quite talkative once he and Rowan started talking about rugby. Aelin ordered a trip to the ice cream parlour. And the boys followed. Aelin took Elide’s arm and let Rowan and Lorcan follow. They were super immersed in their conversation. Aelin wished Lysandra was there too. She had a feeling the three of them would get along greatly. Aelin and Elide got a triple cone and the two men just went for something more sober with just one flavour. “Look at them all perfect and healthy.” Aelin mocked them and Elide giggled at her side. Rowan, in front of her just met her gaze and then licked his ice cream in a very taunting way and took great pleasure in noticing her reaction. Aelin almost chocked and his eyes flashed in amusement. A wall, she just wanted a wall and twenty minutes alone with him to remove that smirk form his face. He knew he had rattled her and hated the way he casually went back talking to Lorcan. She would have her revenge. Eventually her mind started functioning again and went back talking to Elide, hoping the woman had not noticed their exchange. That would have been embarrassing. Slowly they reached the festival grounds. They made it till four and they still had three hours to fill in before the main event. They all collected their tickets and ventured inside the main arena. Aelin squeezed Rowan’s hand and once she turned to him she noticed he had the most amazing smile. “We got a concert coming up.” Said Elide, then grabbed a notebook and scribbled something down “this is my number. Text me later. We can meet again for the main event.” Aelin took the piece of paper and then the notebook and wrote her number for the woman “Looking forward to.” The two said their goodbyes and Rowan finally pulled Aelin to him and kissed her deeply “I had to restrain myself all afternoon.” “You are a wicked man,” a whisper against his lips “You will pay for the ice cream trick.” But in response his kiss deepened and his tongue repeated some of the motions he did early. “Unless you want me to drag you in a hidden corner and have sex at a festival, you’d better stop it.” He laughed “Yes, Fireheart.” And mirth flashed in his pine green eyes. “Come on, let’s go and have a look at the merchandise. See if we can get you a P&D hoodie.” And he dragged her to the area with all the stalls. “Uh, food stalls.” She pulled on one side. “Later. We just had a massive lunch and ice cream.” “You are no fun.” She complained while following him. He walked with her in tow for a little longer and they finally found all the stall with the merchandise for the bands and the festival in general. “Look,” he said to her pointing at the big stall of the band “Good thing we are here early, we can do all these things now. Later on it will be mobbed.” Aelin got closer to the stall and started having a look at the hoodies. She noticed a green one and gave it a try. She had decided that for some reason green reminded her of Rowan, perhaps for his eyes, but the colour now was a reminder of him. She tried on the hoodie and Rowan turned and stared at her in appreciation. “You look lovely.” “I’ll take it.” As Rowan turned again, apparently interested by what was going on on the big screen and she used the moment to buy a t-shirt for him. His birthday was coming up and this was the second part of her present. She paid for her stuff and quickly placed the t-shirt in her backpack before he would turn again. She embraced him from behind and leaned her head against his back, he turned, “I really, really like it.” And kissed her forehead. They wandered a bit longer until they finally reached one of the smaller stages where the first band they were waiting for was going to play soon. They did manage to squeeze to the front and Aelin felt bad for whoever ended up behind Rowan. He pulled her in front of him and his arms went around her neck “Are you ready to sing?” She nodded. The band was called Skipinnish and one was one of Rowan’s favourite and she agreed that they did some wonderful music. The group started with a slow song and Aelin danced on the spot in Rowan’s arms and she felt like the happiest woman alive. In his arms she was finally happy. As if the last year ceased to exist all of a sudden. That had been his magic. He had slowly taken away all the grief she had felt until only a few months ago. He had given her again the desire to dream. She squeezed his hand and tried to convey somehow all those feeling in that simple gesture. The music suddenly picked up in pace and Rowan turned her to him, one of her hand landed on his chest and the other one in his hand that he held high. He started dancing and she swayed with him, then he lifted her and turned on the spot and put her back. A quick kiss and they kept dancing. His eyes alive with happiness. She giggled and he smiled at that sound. All through their dance, Aelin sang, impressing him by her knowledge. She only refrained from singing the songs in Gaelic, that was still too much of a challenge. They danced for another few hours then they moved to the next stage where Skerryvore, the next band they wanted to see was going to play. This time they ended up at the back, but Rowan had Aelin climb on his back, piggyback style, and that allowed her to see the stage a little better. She could not dance but loved her position. Her chin leaned on his head and her arms went around his neck. She took a sniff of his wonderful scent of pine and snow and kissed the back of his head. One of Aelin’s favourite songs began playing and she sang out loud you and I, we held each other tight. Time will take its toll, but I will never let you go. Your love is like a high, you and I. Our love can never die, together as we grow. I’ll always let you know, you’re my reason why Rowan joined in and she hugged him tighter and her head leaned against his head. “I love you,” she whispered while he was busy singing the chorus. It was past six when the concert finished. Aelin looked at her phone and noticed a text from Elide telling her that she and Lorcan were already at the main stage and they had a spot at the very front. “Let’s go.” Aelin grabbed Rowan’s hand “Elide and Lorcan have spot fro us as well at the front of the stage.” Luckily the main stage area was not busy yet, and they found the couple quite quickly. Rowan had a look and noticed they had found a good spot. “This is perfect.” Rowan commented. “Not our first festival.” Lorcan grinned back. Aelin and Elide were huddled together talking and being all excited for the grand event. Aelin paraded her hoodie and Elide showed her the t-shirt and the hoodie she had bought as well. Rowan really thought he had created a monster. With the passing of time the area started to fill and Aelin could feel the excitement around them. Half an hour later the show started with a roar. Aelin climbed on Rowan’s shoulders again and she noticed that Lorcan offered the same to Elide. Aelin roared as well and shouted as soon as she recognised the notes of the first song Stornoway of course. She sang with all of her voice and waved her hands in the air. She and Elide grabbed their hands and sang and waved together. Then they moved to Western Isles and the crowd went wild. Rowan laughed at Aelin’s wild excitement and was impressed by the fact that Aelin really had learned all the lyrics. “And that’s the way we do it, the way we do it in the Western Isles” she was singing with a passion and his mind went to that morning when she was cooking breakfast in nothing but a baggy t-shirt while singing and dancing to that song. Rowan moved a bit dancing as much as possible with Aelin on his shoulder but he sang as well and with his hand he beat the rhythm on Aelin’s legs. The band was playing some of their hits and he was having the time of his life. He had never been able to convince Lyria to go to Heb Celt with him. Her music taste was different and she was never interested in that type of music so he had gone alone for a very long time. But now he had Aelin and she was basically perfect. The guys started playing My islands and Aelin let out a savage cheer and then started to sing. She slowly slid off his back and started dancing and jumping in front of him shaking her head at the rhythm of the music Elide at her side being just as wild. She took his hands and danced on the spot as much as the crowd allowed it. Aelin took some photos of her and Rowan and went back dancing. It was quite late when the concert finished. Aelin and Elide were now walking silently hand in hand with their respective men. “I think they finally ran out of fuel.” Joked Rowan, seeing the two women quiet. “It took them a while, but eventually it happened.” Joked Lorcan who had slowly opened up a bit more. “You are both so mean.” Said Elide leaning against Lorcan. “Yes, and you are going to fall asleep soon.” Lorcan crouched down and offered to carry Elide piggyback “Come on, time to get you to bed.” “Are you coming to the ceilidh at An Lanntair tomorrow?” Aelin and Rowan looked at each other “we might,” she said. “Let us know.” Said Lorcan settling Elide properly on his back “Thanks for the day and evening.” And the two slowly walked away. Rowan turned to Aelin and noticed she had a massive grin on her face. Alas, she seemed to have some energy left. “That was awesome.” She took both of his hands “And we need to go to the ceilidh tomorrow. It’s your birthday. We need to celebrate.” “Fine. We can go. But now we are going home. You have to rest and recharge the batteries for the ceilidh.” She leaned forward and kissed him “Thank you so much for this. It was unbelievable.” He pulled her to him and lifted her and pirouetted while kissing her. Finally they started making their way home and when Rowan noticed that Aelin was on the verge of falling asleep on her feet he offered a piggyback ride and she accepted. By the time they got back home she was fully asleep. At home he deposited her on the bed and he started to ponder how to get her out of her current clothes and into a pyjama. He went to get her Cookie Monster pyjama, removed her hoodie and placed it on the chair at the bottom of the room. Next it was the t-shirt and her shorts and he tried to look away. He was about to put the new clothes away when she groaned and woke up briefly. “I am just changing you into your pj.” He told her gently. Still half asleep she let him guide her body into her night clothes. Then he realised she liked to sleep without a bra and he had no idea how to solve that one. “Bra…” she muttered. “I am… you…” he tried to hide his embarrassment “you do that.” She muttered something unintelligible and removed her bra and threw it in his face. Then collapsed on the bed and went back to sleep. Rowan slowly tucked her in then changed in own night clothes and joined her. His arms went around her waist tucked her head in the crook of his neck. Not longer after he was asleep as well.

[lokilickedme]

Submitted by @fudgemuffinanon

Ok I think I’m up to date….

1. HOLY SHIT WOMAN! You had Covid and just learned about it? How did you find out? Was it with a test? And you handled the asshat at the grocery store way better than I would have. I’m not patient, nor diplomatic, and I have major RBF syndrome… The temper goes with the face more ofter than I care to admit…

2. Your grandmother’s story was incredible. I know you don’t need another project but this could be a beautiful book. No fandom incorporated, just her story.

3. As @mollage said, the Universe is after you! But you may be one of the strongest woman I know, going through all your adventures with that attitude. Thank you Elizabeth for passing down your fiery spirit!

4. With everything that happened to you in the last few weeks, I can’t expect you to write anything. I’ll just wait and take what you give us. Fuck, I just have to deal with Baby Girl’s online school - Big Boy is responsible enough to deal with his class mostly alone - and I have to tell her to go back to the computer every 5 minutes and I’m going NUTS! And we have one more month to go…

Ontario has been in stay-at-home order since April 8th, and non-essential stores MAY reopen mid-June at 15% capacity and outdoor activities in small groups MAY resume IF we have 60% of population vaccinated with their first dose. We’re about 58% now according to Health Minister but they stopped giving Aztra as first dose, so all the pharmacies that could give it now can’t. There’s a lot less Pfizer and Moderna doses available so I don’t know how fast it will happen. But it means I will most likely get my second dose quicker than August. Yay me! Second phase won’t happen until we get 70% 1st dose vaccination. So we’re stuck for a while. We’re going out in the woods for walks once in a while so we don’t get too close to people but I want to go to a fabric store sooooo bad!! I’m done picking ticks off hubby everytime we get out.  And I’m running out of crafts to learn on youtube. 

Ok, enough ranting…  gotta go finish knitting Baby girl’s bday gift. A 6" turtle. With clothes. And a shawl. And boots. Yeah… Love ya!

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Fudgey!!

Yup. All four of us had covid back in November of 2019, before it broke wide and before anyone really knew it was in the US. Husband was able to track it back to a coworker who’d returned from a family visit to China (he works with a large community of Asian Americans who travel back and forth a lot). The coworker came home sick, and shortly after that our household got the worst “flu” any of us have ever had (that was what we thought it was, a weirdly violent flu that hit each of us differently). I’ve never been sicker in my life, my husband thought I was going to die and he claims I told him to just let me go if it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. I’m pretty sure I meant it…it was that bad. I may have actually requested an assist to the other side at one point.

So anyway, a little while later it broke wide and when the symptom lists started coming out we started wondering if that wasn’t what we’d had. Husband finally a few weeks ago went and talked to the guy that had come back sick from overseas and the guy said “Oh yeah, I had the covid, did you get it too?”

By that time there had been approximately 150 known cases at husband’s workplace and six confirmed deaths from it. Grrrr.

At this point it was too late for us to get confirmed, but husband contacted a friend in Colorado who is a covid specialty ER nurse and described our symptoms and the timeframe of our illness to her. She said we absolutely had it - she’d had it too during that same timeframe, before it broke wide and before anyone knew what it was.

So now all my lingering weird-ass symptoms make sense. Big and Little are fine, they don’t seem to have any long-term problems, though I’m keeping an eye on them (especially Big). Husband is fine as well. Me? I took it in the seat of the pants, but like I was telling someone the other day, as soon as one of the longhaul clinics sets up here I’m gonna be there.

The putz in the grocery store was nothing unusual for here. What really gets me is the way people glare at us for continuing to wear masks - it’s almost scary. WTF is wrong with people.

Glad you liked my grandma’s story. Honestly I don’t know enough to write a book about her without having to speculate on a lot of in-between stuff because she was a very secretive person (probably for a good reason tbh) but what a tale it would be. She was a mess :D My mother has always been mad at me for taking after her - she never liked my grandmother much, there was some bad blood between them from decades back, and yeah that’s kind of a good story too lol

Ah, speaking of writing, I’m going to toss out a short chap of that silly self indulgent side-thing for The Department tonight (probably as soon as I send this reply off) and then I’m shooting for a chapter of the actual fic tomorrow at some point. Taking advantage of the husbandary absence (yes I know that’s not a word but it works)

I feel ya on the homeschooling - the boys finished their semester two weeks ago and the stress of that final week for Big (9th grade) was insane.

I wish we were under a stay-at-home order, but where I live hardly anyone obeyed it when we WERE. I love living here but I swear sometimes the people make me want to move off-planet just to find a higher intelligence demographic.

Anyway, I gotta see this turtle when you’re finished with it. You mentioned it so now you gotta show it. I’m going to bug you every day until you provide pictures because even though I can crochet a blanket like nobody’s business I cannot crochet a doll to save my own ass. Gonna have to rely on you for that ;P

@fudgemuffinanon