#touch sensitivity/aversion

[xiaokuer-schmetterling]

my tags from july 2022 posting bc i'm on mobile app rn:

ONCE AGAIN FUCKING FUCK YOU TUMBLR APP. LET ME EDIT MY OWN GODDAMN POSTS

ETA--2025.04.03--here's the tags i had in the image above:

headcanon accepted, autism and sarcasm might be synonyms lol, i absolutely concur that lwj has autism, i mean especially in ep 8??? when he's vibing with the flower petals?!, (one of my favorite eps btw), and the scripting he does with the scholarly quotes?, and the minimally verbal way he has when experiencing strong emotions?!, yeah i said it, autism, neurodivergent, lwj gender is autism and lwj sexuality is wwx, op said it all

autistic Lan Wangji (aka my projecting autistic ass)

[eggcats]

This isn't connected to anything, but I thought of a random scene in the Everybody Loves Vox AU while I was relaxing this morning.

And I've decided that Alastor only criticizes and mocks things about Vox that he knows Vox will argue with him about, because he enjoys teasing and fighting.

But he's also super careful about not saying any preferences towards things about Vox that he could easily change, because he knows Vox's first instinct is to want to be liked and so he'd change whatever it is for Alastor’s (or anyone's, really) approval - but Alastor DOESN'T want Vox to do that, because that's boring. If he wanted someone to do whatever he says he'd ask one of his thralls - he likes that Vox does and likes and wears things he doesn't like or wouldn't do himself, because the differences are fun and entertaining and interesting.

And Vox only finds this out one day by complete accident because Alastor happens to find him relaxing after a shower (on a bed or a couch, just a surface they could lay down and cuddle on) and immediately decides to join him to cuddle. Like, laying entirely on him, shoving his head in his neck, the whole nine yards.

Vox is visibly confused because he KNOWS Alastor doesn't like to cuddle and is very particular about physical touch. (It's the one thing he's had to get used to since they've started "not dating." Part of the reason he stayed with Val for so long was because he enjoys physical contact with his partner, but he's adapted to Alastor’s lack of desire for it to the best of his ability.)

So Vox tries to tactfully ask what the hell is going on, because while he's really enjoying the cuddle he's Extremely Confused and would like an ounce of clarification.

And it turns out that Alastor hates his cologne and that THAT'S why he refuses to touch or cuddle him, to prevent the scent from getting on himself. (It's too strong, too much, it gives him a headache with his more sensitive sense of smell, etc etc).

Vox is like, "Were you ever going to TELL ME that?! What the hell, Alastor?! I don't have to fucking wear it if it bothers you that much!"

Alastor, grumbling, with his face still shoved in Vox’s chest, "No, I was not, because any time someone says anything, you immediately mold yourself into whatever that is, so I would appreciate you forgetting this conversation ever happened."

Vox, with one arm holding Alastor and his other hand pinching the spot between his eyes, "Absolutely the fuck not! Alastor. If I had to choose between over-priced colonge and you fucking TOUCHING ME, I'm fucking choosing you? What the hell, this is insane, I cannot believe we could've been cuddling this entire time. I'm fighting you when we're done because of this."

Vox absolutely ditches the colonge the first chance he gets, despite Alastor's protests.

I like to think that eventually Vox gets comfortable enough to NOT do his initial instinct of immediately changing himself towards Alastor's preferences, once he now knows that Alastor won't say anything - even if it's something he'd be happy to change - to keep him from doing exactly that.

(Also, I think Val tended to do the opposite, where he'd often criticize Vox until he does whatever he wants, so it's hard for him initially to not do the same for Alastor, and to realize that Alastor's mode of affection is softly bullying him but that Alastor dislikes it when he tries to change himself to appease).

It takes some trial and error until they find common ground between "changing anything your partner doesn't like" and "never saying anything you dislike to your partner." Neither of them are good at relationships, so it takes a bit.

(I just couldn't get the idea of Alastor refusing to get too close to Vox because his scent bothers him - and then the second he finds Vox without it he practically tries to bury under his skin to catch up on all the affection (and enjoying his natural scent) he can before Vox puts that scent back on. And never thinking, hey, maybe I should say something about that because he doesn't understand the difference between that and controlling Vox's personality.)

[cyber-therian]

they should invent cuddles/hugs that don’t involve any forms of physical touch including implications of touch

[rosetyler42]

Another from my Dark Revival rewatch. Thought this might be a fun interaction with both Ford and Audrey having trauma related to their hands (and both being introverts.)

Audrey has something of a conga line of trauma which is why she can be a bit...jumpy sometimes. But a big one is Audrey is somewhat touch averse. Both from being a bit introverted and mainly because the last times someone grabbed her hands, it was to kill her and a couple other times she accidentally zapped someone with her banish ability. She has to trust someone before letting them touch her, although she's better with initiating touch. She also has a tendency to grab her left hand with the other as a self-soothing gesture.

Ford having had to hide is polydactyly behind his back to avoid teasing (and having been through what Bill had put him through) I think he'd get that.

@lovelylivelyv @black-ak9 @thesecreatoroftrans @serial-serializednovelreader @deathfangirl9 @dolls-self-ships @dreamlanddoll @thedopedemon @thedobermutt @thedemonsurfer @nerdalmighty @ebevkisk @sammy-lawrence-my-beloved @howling-nightmare @heartsong1994 @royaledevil @dorykinny @starfruit-sardonyx

[capricioussun]

Good morning. I really like to think about UF Toriel and Papyrus having a close bond post-surfacing. I just really feel like Papyrus needs someone who is willing to show care in a more...idk, affectionate way, I guess? So much about how the others show it is through respect and protectiveness, but rarely ever in gentle, more straightforward ways.

I don't think Toriel would exactly be motherly towards him per se, especially not at first. But I think, once she started finding her own footing and settling herself, she would really see just how stressed and high strung Papyrus is. She's more just...a pillar, in his life. Someone he can rely on, and who kind of tries to teach him how to unwind, every now and then.

I think Sans and Undyne kind of forget how young Papyrus really is sometimes, but Toriel would probably be able to see it straight away. I think living for so long gives you that sort of awareness. So maybe not a mother figure, but a good friend and someone to feel safe around.

Post-surface uf family dynamics mean a lot to me

[graciegrumps]

Dazai who wasn't given skin-to-skin contact at birth

Dazai who's been covering all of his skin since childhood

Dazai who's overly sensitive to touch

Dazai who's almost absurdly ticklish

Dazai who has to wriggle away from all sorts of touch because its tickles and it makes him shiver 'nd it's all just too much

Dazai who can't fully hold someone's hand because it makes him feel naked

Dazai who can only hold two of someone's fingers before he feels ill

Dazai who feels like he's engaging in public indecency whenever a bandage unravels itself from his limbs, fabric from his trousers brushes against the bare skin of his ankle and oh gods he's practically whoring himself out!

Dazai who finds showering uncomfortable

Dazai who despises how the water beats on his back, hurting the sensitive skin each time the never ending flow of water hits him like razors, how the steam makes him sweat, how the soap makes him slippery, how the cold tiles contrast from the far too hot water, and how when he steps out his wet hair doesn't stop dripping down his back but if he wraps a towel around his head the weight of it gives him a headache.

Dazai who's always had a protective layer covering his skin from any of the uncomfortable textures in the world that he feels far too defenseless whenever he takes the bandages off.

Note: I just realised that the header I used to edit the characters on needed credits, I found it in my camera roll and my dumbass forgot to check the account that made it to @ them.. oops. Anywho, I made a new one so all is good

I've been looking all throught tumblr for their @ but I can't find itt (╥﹏╥)

Edit: @v6que made the previous header

[neptune-scythe]

quick thing about the nuances of desire that is often over looked, specifically in regards to touch aversion

the argument I get the most when discussing Kanej having a relationship without any physical intimacy or touch is that they both want that

but here's the thing

yes they both express desires for touch or physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as that.

there's three points I wanna make here

the first is there's a difference between wanting something and fantasizing about it. and by that I mean you can like the idea of something, you can have a desire for that idea, but it isn't the actual thing. so for the topic of touch, you can like the idea of a hug or a kiss, you can desire to experience the same feeling from it that other people do or that you think you should, but in reality it isn't actually enjoyable to you, it doesn't give you the feeling you want it to. you want it, maybe even enough to try it again and again, but it may never give you what you want out of it.

the second point ties into the first one nicely of being that you can want the feeling that touch is supposed to give, so you think you want the touch as well. but in reality you just haven't separated the two. you want the comfort, the safety, the closeness, the protection, or whatever else that you're supposed to feel when you touch someone, you might not actually want or enjoy the touch itself or get those feelings from it. but once you separate the two you can find those feelings you're searching for in other ways that are actually comfortable and beneficial.

and the third point is that sometimes you just want to want something. you want to have the desire to touch someone, to be able to feel comfortable with it, but you don't. you might try and convince yourself that you do want it because you think you're supposed to, but the actual desire just isn't there. you want to have the desire rather than actually having the desire.

so for Kaz and Inej, yes they both expressed desires for physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as "they said they want it so that's what they need to be happy"

desire is much deeper than that, and humans are much more nuanced and layered and unpredictable.

and yes there are also times when people just have desires without any of the extra stuff, but given their history I personally don't think Kaz or Inej are that type. There are too many conflicting feelings and experiences for it to be that simple in my opinion.

and if there's one thing Leigh Bardugo is good at it's making deep, multifaceted, and complex characters, and that's what I enjoy so much about them. they have the capacity to portray all those nuances of desire that other characters just can't, and that's a very beautiful and important thing ... especially for y/a books. to capture the human experience, to explain the aspects of humanity that are hard to discover in one's self or notice in other people. it's a bridge to deeper understanding, it's putting that ability to understand in a language that is more accessible and universal than an intellectual self help book or an essay.

so to circle back to my overarching point, desire isn't a simple thing. thinking "I want __" doesn't necessarily translate perfectly the way it presents, and there are many complexities to the human mind that are unpredictable and surprising.

[le-trash-prince]

Fellow touch averse folks—how do you handle communication when you have a “double standard” of who you’re okay with being touched by or seemingly “inconsistent rules” on when you’re okay with being touched?

To clarify:

I generally don’t do well with unexpected touch unless I’m approached from the front where I can see the person coming.

I’m usually okay with touch when it comes to greetings, such as handshakes or hugs.

I don’t do hugs from strangers.

There have been select few people who I’m okay with being touched by beyond greetings—such as handholding, cuddles, kisses etc. These are usually long-term friends or certain family members.

I’m also generally okay with unexpected touch from those people, as long as it’s not frequent.

There are also people (specifically, extended family members) who I don’t like exchanging even greeting hugs with.

I think the safer I feel around someone, the less painful their touch feels. Sometimes that sense of safety develops over time, but sometimes it comes more quickly.

My current dilemma is that my sister-in-law will occasionally touch me without warning, which is really upsetting. Thankfully it’s been several months since the last time it happened—she sat down next to me at a table and placed a hand on my back when I was looking the other direction.

Honestly, I would rather not even hug her, but she’s very rejection sensitive, so for my brother’s sake, I can at least deal with brief hugs. But I don’t know how to tell her that I don’t want her to touch me beyond greeting hugs, especially since I’m okay with touch from everyone else in my immediate family (except my brother in law, but he’s never tried to force touch on me, which is another reason he’s my favorite in-law).

I feel like she might be hurt if I were to make that stipulation for her and not for anyone else. And she would probably get after my niece for wanting to cuddle with me—even though I am fine with my niece leaning against me, as long as I’m not currently overwhelmed. Which has happened before, but I was able to communicate with my niece about it and she respected it.

I don’t know how to navigate that awkwardness of “it’s okay for her to lean against me, but not you.” “It’s okay for other people to take my hand when I’m upset, but not you.” I do experience touch starvation, and I don’t want to lose touch from the few people I’m okay with. And I don’t want to trigger my sister-in-law’s rejection sensitivity, even though that may be unavoidable because I pretty much am rejecting her. But her touch is painful to me and I don’t want to keep pretending otherwise.

I was taught as a kid to put up with being (platonically) touched by relatives so setting boundaries about this is something I struggle with.

If any if y’all have experience with setting specific boundaries with specific people, I would like to hear about it.

[edwardallenpoe]

There isn't enough fic of Sherlock dealing with the trauma/PTSD of his time away reblog if you agree

[cyber-therian]

important !!!!

okay ive been thinking and i prefer if those who interact dont make comments / jokes about touching me !

this comes from my touch aversion sensory processing issues, and even though it isnt real it still makes me feel strange / the pain that real touch feels but psychologically …

this is intended for platonic / playful touch comments specifically (because you shouldnt be interacting w me romantically or sexually anyways xP) because ive been getting a lot of them lately and while i do appreciate the affection, i dont like physical touch no matter how much i try to convince myself otherwise

i suppose i will make a boundaries list soon, if i remember, but this is just a disclaimer! i will politely remind you (hopefully, i always try to be polite) if you slip up :3

[rainswept]

alright FINE i guess i'll elaborate. (you better be asleep by the time i send this.)

dazai and kaz are so similar and yet so different in a fascinating way. aside from the obvious parallels—ambiguous morality, unsettling auras, and terrifying intelligence—there are a few notable differences. kaz is fuelled by a deep desire to avenge his brother and tear down his enemies 'brick by brick', while dazai strives to live a good life and fulfill oda's last wish. they both live for the memory of someone dear to them, but one memory pushes them to vengeance, while the other pushes them to solace.

this is only slightly related, but i said before that akutagawa is a person who inherently lacks purpose, and honestly i would argue dazai is the same. (i wonder if that is why dazai treats him the way he does... if he sees a kindred spirit in him... if he resents the way akutagawa clings to him so desperately, because he knows that will never achieve him true wholeness, so he refuses to give it to him.) before, he cared very little about whether he lived or died; he had no morality nor values of his own. he was just a blank slate, covered in shadows and bloodstains that did nothing to hide its barrenness.

HOWEVER prior to oda's death, before he became mafia traitor dazai osamu, he was the youngest mafia executive in history. that is the dazai that i associate that quote with. of course, his bloodied reputation isn't wiped clean so easily, and of course it lingers like a noose around his neck even when he is a part of the agency. but back then, it is so much more powerful when he is actively cultivating an image of a ruthless monster.

when everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.

isn't that true? who knows if every atrocity tied to his name was even done by him, or some other creature that lurks in the dark. the only thing that truly matters is that people think of him as merciless, dangerous. his hands have brought so much destruction that he doesn't even have to kill someone to stop their heart, the suggestion is enough. for a creature that spills blood on a whim (he is very careful with who he kills; death is useful move, but he would be a fool to waste a pawn), whose empathy couldn't extend to another if he tried (his emotions are buried, but they are still there), what else would they expect?

what would a monster be, if not monstrous?

so. that's my elaboration. i feel like it is underwhelming, sorry. obligatory THIS IS ALL MY INTERPRETATION dazai is a very complex character but a lot of him is still a mystery in the story, and i am foaming at the mouth waiting for more of his past to be revealed.

ambiguous morality, unsettling auras, and terrifying intelligence

guys i think i have a type!!1111

this is only slightly related, but i said before that akutagawa is a person who inherently lacks purpose, and honestly i would argue dazai is the same.

aren’t we all? 🤨 what purpose does life have but what we give it? (and what purpose can be given by someone who has no desire to obtain one?)

if he resents the way akutagawa clings to him so desperately, because he knows that will never achieve him true wholeness, so he refuses to give it to him.)

GOD DAMN.

before, he cared very little about whether he lived or died; he had no morality nor values of his own. he was just a blank slate, covered in shadows and bloodstains that did nothing to hide its barrenness.

HELLO??/?/ poetr.y. killme neow

and of course it lingers like a noose around his neck even when he is a part of the agency.

noose. Dazai. oh my hod avery ur gonna be the dEATH OF MEEEEE

ok actually i need to stop quoting things because every single line in this was like a punch to the gut and i’d just end up screaming over every single one holy SHIT. pls tag me if u ever write a dazai fic (throws up)

(he is very careful with who he kills; death is useful move, but he would be a fool to waste a pawn), whose empathy couldn't extend to another if he tried (his emotions are buried, but they are still there)

ok i lied about stopping because GOOD GOD. AVERY??/?// IM GOIJGNTO DIE/ WHATTHHE HELL. THIS IS SOMGODO

UNDERWHELMING???? UNDERWHELMING????/?/ NUH UH. NUH UH. MASTERPIECE

[satoblue]

“JUST ONE KISS” — gojo satoru

your best friend wants a kiss, but not just anywhere… | wc: 1k

MDNI, f!reader, childhood best friend satoru, smut-ish but no p in v, he just wants a kiss (you make out… with something), the first kiss that isn’t on his cheek :’) reader can’t say no (you’re weak when it comes to him), extremely premature ejaculation, satoru is desperate and sensitive, maybe he likes being looked at like he’s a weirdo... | dividers are the color of his semen and made by me <3

you don’t know how exactly you found yourself in this situation.

“c’mooooon, just one kiss?”

satoru holds up his forefinger to emphasize his words, a childish, innocent pout playing on his pink lips — too innocent for what he was requesting of you.

you roll your eyes, feeling a slight heat creep up your cheeks as you avoid his gaze — avoid all of him, trying to maintain your resolve.

“ugh, no, satoru. don’t be weird.” you mumble, voice strained.

his eyes widen in response to your rejection. but sensing your wavering stance, they narrow, and he proceeds to push further.

“why not? you kiss me all the time!” your best friend whines, pout growing more pronounced as he juts out his lower lip further, making him look even more adorable. those eyes of his sparkle with mischief as you shift awkwardly on your knees, exasperated at his persistence.

you try to maintain a strong front, you really do. but the boy, no — the man in front of you has a certain power over you even after so many years. and you were helplessly weak when it came to him — when it came to satoru, your annoying and endearing best friend since childhood.

“this is different, ‘toru. it’s silly, you know it is.” you try reasoning, voice laced with a hint of warning.

your tone does nothing to put him off, however, as he simply shuffles closer, transfixed on your lips before heaving out a dramatic sigh. those beautiful eyes well up with crocodile tears as he gazes down at you, voice taking on a pleading tone.

“please, pretty? just one liddol kiss?” he whimpers before leaning in close, face inches from yours, warm breath whispering against your skin.

you can’t help but glance down for a moment to school yourself, then looking back up to his face, your own flustered in embarrassment. you hope it’s quick enough that he doesn’t see, but satoru notices the aversion, he always does. he knows you so well — better than anyone.

“you’re not scared, are you?", he teases suddenly, a big warm hand now padding along the soft skin of your cheek.

a shiver runs down your spine as his breath caresses your ear, his words sending a spark of something it shouldn’t down your body.

there’s a subtle twitch in the muscles on your face once you process his question, evidently irked by his words. at this, your best friend flashes you his infamous goofy grin. his demeanor had changed rather quickly from his performance a mere sentence ago in a way that was hopelessly satoru.

despite your better judgment, you can feel yourself melting at his touch, crumbling in the face of his charms.

a deep, stuttering sigh leaves your lips, voice firm with an air of finality.

“fine. only one, and that’s it.”

satoru’s gaze shoots back up and locks onto yours the moment those words leave your mouth. big blue eyes fill with a heart fluttering affection and a certain heat, a look you were all too used to — a way best friends should never look at each other, and a familiar feeling of warmth spreads through your chest.

a triumphant smile spreads across satoru’s face and he lets out a whoop of excitement, lighting up. you can’t stop the small smile curling onto your lips as he quickly adjusts his position, spreading his legs slightly as he leans back, giving you more room to shimmy yourself into which you do without question.

“go on — give me a kiss.” he sighs out, breathless in anticipation.

you decide to end his suffering and give satoru what he wants. with reluctance, you lean forward, inching close until your lips hover over a way too adorable shade of pink before you’re planting a quick, wet kiss onto the tip of his cock.

it’s just a peck, but you can feel the shudder wrack through his body at the small contact and he lets out a soft gasp, eyes rolling back to his skull.

“mmmph . . .”

pulling back, his hips make a desperate attempt at following you with a jerky movement, but it fails miserably. his cock is erratic in its movements, with a mind of its own — it is big enough to have one anyway. twitching, bobbing, and most of all, sensitive — like all of satoru.

“why did you move away?”

your best friend whines like a petulant child, brows pinching together and eyes once again glimmering with tears, though this time, they were quite real.

“it was kissing you back too! don’t you love me? you’ll give me more, right? i’m your best friend, you should — ”

he babbles on, brainless and struck dumb, as if a single kiss from you triggered an onslaught of neverending desperation. you watch him, startled, before your brows knit together in mild irritation, looking him right in the eye before backtracking to the achy, leaking, baseball bat he calls his cock.

“o—oh god, please, don’t look at me like that—”, he barely manages to strangle out in a moan, clutching the couch cushions on either side of him in a tight grip to ground himself, knuckles white.

his hips lurch forward suddenly, a spurt of hefty pearlescent droplets shooting out from the top before running along the side of his length, shirt stained and ruined — some of the warm liquid hitting your cheek, though he doesn’t seem to notice in his state of ecstasy.

“h—hah . . . hnghhh — ”

your breath hitches at the overwhelmingly erotic sight, throat going dry — the cum running down the side of your face gaining dangerously near your mouth, as if attempting to remedy the situation for you.

continuing to look on in poorly concealed amazement, unable to look away (did you even want to?), pupils dilating as you take in the copious amounts of thick, white cum dribbling out of his shaking form — satoru’s body jolts with each rope of his load, eyes fluttering closed in what seemed to be pleasure, but almost bordering pain.

and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that your best friend came because you kissed his cock.

[vlacas12]

Fuck being touch-starved, but also being autistic and touch-averse/touch-sensitive!

I need touch, but also hate getting touched by anyone around me, so the only outlet I have is my Blåhaj, which just isn't enough!

[neptune-scythe]

it's okay to not want touch

it's okay to like the idea of it but not enjoy it in reality

it's okay to want it sometimes and hate it others

it doesn't make you broken or wrong

it is not a requirement for being a full complete and happy person

it is not a requirement for a healthy relationship

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

All Finished!

I have no idea what's going on with Virgil and Remus's styles... they're something... I know to little clothing genres and what they look like to say.

I adore all of them so much. Adorable babies~

Poses by Albanenechi on insta/patreon. Janus & Logan: [Link], Virgil: [Link], Roman: [Link], Patton: [Link], Remus: [Link]

Random info about them under the cut:

- Virgil's skin is "poisonous" in the way any skin contact will make the one not Virgil grow more and more anxious (kinda like how canon Virgil's room amplified their anxieties in AA) Due to this he's pretty touch averse. Giving the random elbow nudge or shoulder tap, never really touching anyone with his fingers unless he's wearing fingered gloves.

- Janus is smart, but he will give his "braincel" to Logan is he craves some chaos. (the beanie, he doesn't want it to get dirty). He doesn't disguise himself as much as Canon Janus, instead he sneaks into the conversation, making it seem as if he'd always been there. He's quicker to bring up the idea of using an "excuse" as he likes to call it, be it to not go to a thing, avoid doing something or just because. (Virgil tends to accept the first type, if it means avoiding a social situation.)

- Remus isn't as intrusive as canon Remus.... but he will still be intrusive by being loud and be the bringer of the brain worms/funny sentences/audio from videos that he will play/say on repeat to Thomas at random times throughout the day. He will start gnawing on things if he's bored/understimulated.

- Roman loves Disney, but not for the princes... instead the animal helpers are his siblings. It took him the longest to accept Virgil due to the Disney logic of green = evil. He loves to sing, and can be found humming under his breath almost constantly if he's not. He feels a bit self conscious about what his animal trait is. Since corvids tend to get a bad reputation at times. So he kinda clings a bit too hard on the nickname "Songbird" that Thomas gave him.

- Logan is the royal in this lineup. He's not as strict and "emotionless" than canon Logan, but he will get frustrated if he's ignored. He's also strong-headed about important things. But, he knows exactly what to use to get the others attention for varying degrees of time. He might even get passive aggressive if pushed beyond annoyed. He tries his best to be helpful be it to Thomas in person or to Thomas as a whole (the others)

- Patton is full of energy, encompassing much more of Thomas's heart than morality, even if that's still a part of who he is. If you need a hug, he's 100% ready to open his arms and give it. He loves to nap. he can either be found asleep on the banister of the stairs or curled up on the couch using his tail as a pillow. He loves so strongly. He's got some pretty bad rejection sensitivity, he's working on it... but he can be a bit clingy at times. (Not that any of them will complain, Virgil might get stressed out tho.) He will cry if they watch Turning Red during a movie night. He def fear he's becoming Thomas's panda, he is Thomas's Panda. (I need to actually watch the movie it looks so GOOOOOD! anyway-)

- On the subject of tails/wings/animal traits... they're only fully visible in the mind space, if they're with Thomas they look much more human.

- Virgil is the oldest of the dark sides and thus kinda became their keeper, he has a 6th sense in knowing where they are. He's pretty chill, but if he's stressed he will start doing his lil frog calling as a warning noise.

- Roman and Remus are much closer in this au, often found brainstorming together to help Thomas come up with creative ideas. If the idea calls for more fluffy happy themes Roman will handle most of that, but if it goes into more darker themes it's Remus's time to shine, after all in a writers terms: "you can't have the angst without the fluff" (you can but shhhhhh)

- Yellow the Lemon is all question marks.

[sthilarions]

I’ve seen a few fics wherein, due to various misunderstandings, Charles thinks (wrongly) that Edwin is being/continuing to be touch-averse after they’re together and doesn’t want hugs or kisses. And decides that that’s okay, and he’ll just happily take whatever Edwin wants to give him, and love him however he is. Then, of course, the misunderstanding is resolved, and there are many hugs and kisses.

But I’m kind of interested in the concept of it not being a misunderstanding. Because if 35 years of constant day and night companionship don’t make you completely comfortable with someone’s touch, adding romance to the mix isn’t going to magically change that, you know? Like, for me, I’m touch-averse to at least some extent with everyone on the planet except my brother, and that includes my partner whom I have known for about a decade, whom I love very very much, and whom, on some levels, I love touching.

Because the touch-aversion exceptions don’t really care what label is on your relationship, or even how much you love someone, or even-even how much some parts of your brain like touching them. That’s barely a factor, really, any of those. For me, anyway, if those decades of familiarity and safety and desensitization won’t do it, nothing further will.

So I’m really interested in the idea of an Edwin who’s been kissed, now, but would still answer “Do you miss kissing?” in the negative, just a more informed and confident negative now. Who loves hugging Charles but only sometimes, only when his brain is in the right place and skin and pressure don’t make him feel like electricity’s running painfully through his veins.

And him and Charles learning how to negotiate that. What touches give Charles (and Edwin, because touch-aversion does not necessarily rule out touch-starvation) what he needs without taking from Edwin something it hurts to give. Kisses on each other’s hands, perhaps, instead of the invasive face-to-face sensitive-skin business. Sitting facing opposite directions leaned up against each other, like they’re each other’s backrests.

Two of Edwin’s fingers carefully resting against Charles’s knee, on days when any more would ache, for hours at a time, just that tiny connecting contact but so long and so tender it holds them together as strongly as joined handcuffs. Charles’s head on Edwin’s lap but never the other way around; Edwin’s head on Charles’s shoulder but never the other way around.

Hugs that squeeze hard, never a light half-hug, but also never a trapping one. A hand signal for when Edwin’s brain is willing to do hugs, that tends to lead to Charles diving into his arms no matter the external situation and who’s present, and conversely a signal for when hugs would be too unpleasant to take.

Edwin would be willing to do whatever Charles wanted, of course. If Charles wanted him to spend half his day with Charles’s tongue down his throat and the other half with Charles wrapped around him like an octopus, he would, without hesitation or complaint. He’d probably take the constant ache and electricity under his skin and screaming static inside his head out on clients and Crystal and any bad guy on the wrong end of his casting hand, but he’d not only do it, he’d do his damndest to keep Charles from knowing what it cost.

But Charles knows him far too well, for that. He doesn’t know words like “touch-averse”, sure, but he can certainly notice that a light brush down Edwin’s arm when they’re in a loud room puts more visible pain on Edwin’s face than a high-powered torture hex does, and adjust accordingly.

So they find their little touches, and their big touches, where they can, where they don’t hurt either of them. And Edwin sits on the sofa, with Charles down on the floor leaning back against it, one of Edwin’s hands tangled in Charles’s curls, one-way safe touch, and, fuck. Both of them are pretty sure they’ve never felt anything better in their entire existence.