#transmisogny//

[dragonstailbutch]

Hey sorry i am trying to like. find examples of what you mean when you talk about mra stuff and (trans)misogyny in forcemasc content and tumblr search has betrayed me once again, can you explain?

(sorry I normally wouldn't ask but I wanna make sure I'm not perpetuating anything!! Also fucking tumblr search!!! it is ridiculous!)

so ive been sitting on this ask for months since ive got it. i want to do it justice and try to take it at face value that its being honest in asking.

The thing is, theres this trend and a weird amount of effort to be like force femme, to be forceful and like its something to fearful of and give in to. But we cant do that, cause all that does is reinforce the idea that being a man is a toxic thing. I saw this post the other day where a transman talked about like, the whole "raised as a weapon" thing, the violence and horror of being a man and raised that way versus how they felt growng into it as a transman. How they wanted to reclaim that phrase or something? i could be misremembering.

But that was never the intent of forcemasc. It wasnt actually about being a dude, literally *forcing* someone who was unwilling into masculinity, none of the posts that i made that started the community (and yes i, a transfem butch woman, started and made this community and some of yall need to get over yourselves) were ever about that, it was intended to be a soft mimic or even a call to forcefemme.

i was all about making it soft and tender for a reason, cause if i didnt i was only reinforcing the toxic masculinity narrative, "men fighting in the mud" "men are dominant and cool" " to be a man is to be forced into masculinity and to be disgusted with the feminine" or whatever. When masculinity isnt about just men, and being butch isnt just being masculine. masculinity should also be sensitivity, not domination. i wanted it to be better, show a better side of what masculinity could be, what being butch is.

Ive spoken before a bit too, about the tags people used and added to forcemasc, and really maybe i was wrong in ever naming it forcemasc. people used and still use tags like autoandrophilia, autoandrophile, androphile, autogynephilia, androphilia, and autogynephile. Ive seen so many people with urls and tags and posts calling themselves transandrobros, literally calling themselves MRAs, as if that was something to be proud of, as if they dont understand that they arent fighting for their and our rights, they're fighting for cis-mens rights by using those names and terms, not transmascs/transmens rights. I can understand ignorance, but weve talked about how the words you use have history, especially those like the tags i mentioned and androphilia and androphobia and others, all of them have roots in deeeeeeeply misogynistic and transphobic people and history.

Literally all of these are awful and are phrases that arent and wont be reclaimed because theyre history is one of pain and hurting trans people, one of coercive 'help', literal forced detransitioning and reinforcement of MRA and terf narrative that men are both good and the worst creature alive and that to be a woman is to be disgusting and the purest thing all at once. That to be a transwoman is sick and we shouldnt be trusted.

Im trying to be very kind, not scream and rage, not because i dont desperately want to, but because if i do, as a butch transwoman, ESPECIALLY cause i claim being butch, people wont listen to me no matter how much of what i say is meaningful. one of the reasons why im doing this NO, instead of in anothr day or two, is that im coming to terms with the fact that the situation will just get qorse, not better without words.

Part of why im still sane is that ive gotten a couple asks here and there about how my posts and creation of the community has helped them and its so wonderful to see that, genuinely so amazing to see people recontextualize and love themselves. its wonderful and im so fucking happy about it.

i personally made this space so i could love myself, who i am as a trans person and my body, and i knew that other people needed and wanted that for themselves too and i wanted to help, share this love with more people. That to be hairy and chubby and masculine and butch was a nice thing. But to me it feels like it was coerced into being a thing for Men. A thing no longer for me or people like me who share the butch culture and name to no longer enjoy cause people unfamiliar with kink and tran history have decided that masculinity and butchness are the exact same thing. Id say people should go be a bear, but you wont learn their culture either and thats cruel and insulting to bears.

We deserve better You deserve better. Stop falling for the lies and hate. We beg you

[earlgraytay]

God, there really is nothing like 20s detective fiction to remind you that prejudice is a social construct.

You'll have a story with a crossdressing thief which is mildly transmisogynistic but completely devoid of modern vitriol; it literally comes off as "here is a fun oddity that lets me be Clever about French grammar"

And in the very next story you will learn fifteen different slurs for Italians

[wolfertinger666]

"controversial" take but I absolutely get angry and uncomfortable every time I see something HP related. it's not the series itself it's just the fact it's literally inseparable from jkr who herself is a massive fucking transphobe/transmisognist and made herself the head of that movement. I get wanting to "reclaim it" but is it worth hurting our trans sisters over a generic wizard series.

[communistkenobi]

can we like go back to basics for a second lol. every mainstream news outlet, public figure, elected official, social media influencer, religious leader, and civil society organisation pushing transphobic policy and rhetoric always focus on trans women. literally every single one of them. even when trans men are brought up it is primarily in relation to trans women “tricking girls” into transitioning.

& I am speaking specifically as a trans guy who has been harassed on the street + outted and intimidated by Nazis on campus + lost entire friend groups + kicked out by my parents because I’m trans. like this is literally not a competition about who is “oppressed more” it is a basic fact. I am reminded always that whenever transphobia is voiced in public (which is often and only becoming more frequent) I am either not the target of hatred or I am being used as a rhetorical tool to further advance transmisogyny. fundamentally if you don’t acknowledge this extremely basic point about institutional transphobia then you are actively attempting to obfuscate reality

[phosphorusab]

A grown ass man lured a 14 year old girl out to a park at night, abused her, killed her, dismembered her and scattered her remains in public parks and rivers. Now if that girl was a cisgender girl, the general public would rightfully put the blame on the perpetrator for taking advantage of and murdering a minor.

But because Pauly Likens Jr was a transgender girl, the general public is going full trans panic defense, even though the perpetrator said they met on Grindr, if that was even true. Grindr doesn’t verify the age of its users and legally doesn’t have to due to Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which means half of sexually active queer adolescents will use this app and fall into the hands of predators.

https://www.wgbh.org/news/national/2021-07-12/unseen-part-3-popular-gay-dating-app-grindr-poses-exploitation-risk-to-minors

Grindr has been known to have a sexual exploitation of minors issue, and I just know that people are going to see that Pauly Likens Jr and her killer may have used this app to blame Pauly for her own demise.

It’s just like they did with Gwen Araujo in 2002 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by 4 grown ass men), Mercedes Williamson in 2015 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man) and Nikki Kuhnhausen in 2019 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man). You stop being an innocent kid who is capable of being victimized when you’re trans. You’re a threat to other kids your age or younger, and you’re a precocious sexual provocateur towards adults. This applies especially to transgender girls - complete dehumanization and transmisogyny.

This pattern of transgender teenage girls being taken advantage of by adults and killed is completely unacceptable, and society should start acting like it.

[mlmshark]

Idk why people are constantly trying to put transmascs and transfems at odds because sometimes I just scroll through both of our tags and genuinely tear up at how beautiful it is to be part of this community and the hope we have. Seriously fuck people who keep trying to take that away from us

[kalamity-jayne]

I think it's fairly safe to say at this point that the overwhelming majority of transfems on this website are feeling pretty fatalistic about their general lack of safety here and the high probability their blog will eventually get termed. This bleak sentiment doesn't occur in a vacuum and staff needs to recognize that their moderation systems, both on the automated side and their user generated reporting system, unfairly targets transfems. It's not enough to say, "we've got trans folks on staff!" Your entire method of moderating the terms of services needs an overhaul.

[ventbloglite]

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

[verygoodestboy]

the way white queers ascribe sainthood to Black trans women and completely ignore Black trans men and Black nonbinary people has convinced me more than anything else that they really truly don’t care about any Black trans people beyond wearing us as a little badge they can show off to prove they’re The Good Ones

[crescentalice]

If you're afab and find yourself thinking stuff like "I wish I had a body like a trans woman," I'm gonna need you to stop and ask yourself what you mean by that. Like reeeeally deeply, introspectively ask yourself. Because your answer probably reveals a lot about your hidden biases towards trans women. Do you want a penis? Great, but not all trans women have those, and it's really weird to try and define a whole group of people by their genitals. Do you want to look more masculine? Because, and I really hope I don't need to say this, viewing/defining trans women as "more masculine women" is super transphobic and fucked up and you need to stop viewing us like that immediately. There are no meaningful universal differences between cis and trans bodies you can define that do not in some way reduce us to our anatomy and/or stereotypes about us. So, instead of comparing yourself to whatever imaginary idea of trans women you have in your head, just be yourself. Explore your body and gender on your own terms, but please, leave us out of it.

[sirbun]

one day misogyny will die out and, in turn, radfeminism and terfism will die out too and men and women will be best friends forever and never have to fight again

[growing-past-me]

Op turned off reblogs but I think everyone should see it

[dreadfulman]

Love that there's a contingency of people reacting to the UK ruling as if it's crazy and laughable that it could effect anyone other than trans woman. And by love I mean "grimly amused by people's aversion to think beyond a surface level even when it's against their best interests." Because I've been seeing other trans people talk about how it only affects trans women and I want to put my head through a wall because no dipshit this has your ass in the line of fire too.

It does not take a huge amount of brain power to ask "would it possibly be terrible for some trans people to be forcibly legally trapped in womanhood? The same way it is terrible for others to be forcibly legally denied it?" And the answer is yes it is violently stripping people's self determination from them in order to force them into humiliating, unsafe, and outright dangerous situations. This is very bad. This goes double for intersex people who are already constantly under threat from a rigid sex binary being violently enforced on them, and drawing sharp lines in the sand around a specific gender does not bode anything well for folks with atypical or varied chromosomes/sex characteristics.

It is darkly funny that some people are incapable of seeing this as anything other than a dangerous blow against trans women specifically, because while I'm sure a lot of people just refuse to think about it for longer than ten seconds, I can't help but wonder how many of them see it this way because they've internalised the fight for trans rights as being inextricably linked with the right to be a woman. I do not think some people can entirely process that many people don't want to be women.

[wolfertinger666]

it's kinda disgusting how rumors/morality panics against (mainly) queer people are super prevalent and how easy it is for others to believe them without doing a quick check or literally using their brain. it's disgusting how queer/trans people (mainly transfem folk) are the prime victims of this, situations that were blown out of proportion to ostracize them and remove them from their support systems. kinks and personal info exposed for the public to gawk at, it's all so gross.

just stop we are going backwards.

[poison-doll]

okay yes we are all affected by transmisogyny under patriarchy but do u think that maybe there is a particular gender demographic that is distinctly affected in ways that other demographics are not. do u think that it would be useful to have language to discuss that difference

[anarcho-catboyism]

A lot of discourse could stop if y'all stopped approaching every situation with this idea that your experience is the default one