#transmisogny tw

[boygirlz]

This is really awful misinformation.

Theyfab was coined by trans women to describe pseudo terfs. Yes. Terfs use they/them too. Often to obfuscate from their transmisogny, afterall how can a nonbinary person be transphobic?? They're just a True Female telling it like it is.

a person who is bioessentialist, still identifies with their AGAB, and weaponizes it against other trans people.

Yes you use they/them & are AFAB but if you are speaking like you have the True Experience of Female, if you still identify strongly with being female, you are parroting terf talking points that hurt trans men and women every day.

Just because you feel attacked personally when you read THEYFAB does not mean it's about you.

TME people shut up & listen for once.

I think we all need a reminder that the word “theyfab” was originally created to hurt nonbinary people, specifically nonbinary people who use they/them and were (assumed to be) AFAB.

The word “theyfab” is exorsexist, first and foremost. It can also be transandrophobic, because some nonbinary people are transmasculine and it does occasionally get used against trans men. However, if you claim theyfab was invented as a slur for trans men first and foremost, you are erasing the experiences of another invisible community.

Trans men are treated terribly on here. But please don't contribute to the erasure of nonbinary people when you're fighting against transandrophobia. We’re in this together, and we need to have each other's backs.

[earlgraytay]

God, there really is nothing like 20s detective fiction to remind you that prejudice is a social construct.

You'll have a story with a crossdressing thief which is mildly transmisogynistic but completely devoid of modern vitriol; it literally comes off as "here is a fun oddity that lets me be Clever about French grammar"

And in the very next story you will learn fifteen different slurs for Italians

[wolfertinger666]

"controversial" take but I absolutely get angry and uncomfortable every time I see something HP related. it's not the series itself it's just the fact it's literally inseparable from jkr who herself is a massive fucking transphobe/transmisognist and made herself the head of that movement. I get wanting to "reclaim it" but is it worth hurting our trans sisters over a generic wizard series.

[communistkenobi]

can we like go back to basics for a second lol. every mainstream news outlet, public figure, elected official, social media influencer, religious leader, and civil society organisation pushing transphobic policy and rhetoric always focus on trans women. literally every single one of them. even when trans men are brought up it is primarily in relation to trans women “tricking girls” into transitioning.

& I am speaking specifically as a trans guy who has been harassed on the street + outted and intimidated by Nazis on campus + lost entire friend groups + kicked out by my parents because I’m trans. like this is literally not a competition about who is “oppressed more” it is a basic fact. I am reminded always that whenever transphobia is voiced in public (which is often and only becoming more frequent) I am either not the target of hatred or I am being used as a rhetorical tool to further advance transmisogyny. fundamentally if you don’t acknowledge this extremely basic point about institutional transphobia then you are actively attempting to obfuscate reality

[phosphorusab]

A grown ass man lured a 14 year old girl out to a park at night, abused her, killed her, dismembered her and scattered her remains in public parks and rivers. Now if that girl was a cisgender girl, the general public would rightfully put the blame on the perpetrator for taking advantage of and murdering a minor.

But because Pauly Likens Jr was a transgender girl, the general public is going full trans panic defense, even though the perpetrator said they met on Grindr, if that was even true. Grindr doesn’t verify the age of its users and legally doesn’t have to due to Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which means half of sexually active queer adolescents will use this app and fall into the hands of predators.

https://www.wgbh.org/news/national/2021-07-12/unseen-part-3-popular-gay-dating-app-grindr-poses-exploitation-risk-to-minors

Grindr has been known to have a sexual exploitation of minors issue, and I just know that people are going to see that Pauly Likens Jr and her killer may have used this app to blame Pauly for her own demise.

It’s just like they did with Gwen Araujo in 2002 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by 4 grown ass men), Mercedes Williamson in 2015 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man) and Nikki Kuhnhausen in 2019 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man). You stop being an innocent kid who is capable of being victimized when you’re trans. You’re a threat to other kids your age or younger, and you’re a precocious sexual provocateur towards adults. This applies especially to transgender girls - complete dehumanization and transmisogyny.

This pattern of transgender teenage girls being taken advantage of by adults and killed is completely unacceptable, and society should start acting like it.

[kalamity-jayne]

I think it's fairly safe to say at this point that the overwhelming majority of transfems on this website are feeling pretty fatalistic about their general lack of safety here and the high probability their blog will eventually get termed. This bleak sentiment doesn't occur in a vacuum and staff needs to recognize that their moderation systems, both on the automated side and their user generated reporting system, unfairly targets transfems. It's not enough to say, "we've got trans folks on staff!" Your entire method of moderating the terms of services needs an overhaul.

[maria-lukas]

I never feel more alienated from the trans community in general and other transfems in particular than when I see people going after "TMEs" and "transandrophobia truthers" and so on, ostensibly in the name of defending people like me. Or derailing their own perfectly decent points about transmisogyny by including some irrelevant, gratuitous dig at transmascs (or intersex people or "theyFABs" or whoever the target of the day is).

What the fuck are you doing? Do you get some kind of rush from deflecting TERFisms onto targets you've decided are more deserving or privileged than yourselves? What are you trying to achieve? If you want to do some weird 70s separatism tribute act then please just go your own way already and leave everyone else alone.

As a transfem who is not a woman and doesn't pass as one I don't trust "TMA/TME" proponents to have my back in any case. And I'm much more wary of engaging with trans spaces than I used to be because of this bullshit.

I'm so sorry to everyone who has been fucked over by this tendency. I hope we can get over it. Can we please collectively at least try to get a grip and maybe rethink how we're doing things a little bit? Because unless the goal really is self-cannibalization it's not working is it?

[gor3sigil]

Cis Queer Bitches be like "Yeah I'm an intersectional feminist, I want everyone to feel safe and want to create a space for radical love and acceptance !!" then basically put a bouncer at the entry of the LGBTQ+ center to make sure the people coming to the "women and enbies ONLY" event are, indeed, women and enbies.

Edit: disabling reblogs since terfs decided to tear me down lmao

[itsarryadoll1122]

If a trans girl (like me) said hi to you, would you say hi back?

[starfuckerz-incorporated]

THE UK HELD 3 TRANS KIDS IN CUSTODY FOR PEACEFUL PROTESTING. THE UK HELD 3 TRANS KIDS IN CUSTODY FOR PEACEFUL PROTESTING

[growing-past-me]

I’ve said worse things to my parents as a sign of love. Get the fuck over yourself.

[arlens-entries]

I need other non-binary ppl, especially folks who aren't interested in medical transition, to understand we don't all have the same experience as 'they thems' who only get misgendered according to our agab in public.

I'm a short genderqueer ftm with long hair and a deep voice, I get gendered every way possible. Any pronouns work for me, so misgendering isn't typically on my radar. However, I often experience transmisogyny when I'm read as mtf or transfemme by strangers, and explicit homophobia when I am read as an effeminate cis man. I think some fellow trans people find this 'misplaced' transphobia funny, I have had friends literally laugh in public situations where I’ve become unsafe. And I think allyship of other trans ppl isn’t just acknowledging each other as trans, but considering the safety of certain settings and knowing when not to acknowledge weird comments.

It's not some hilarious moment when someone calls me a woman and 'corrects' themselves when they hear me speak, or a giggly bit when I'm asked to leave for answering a question out loud in a women's bathroom. It's not funny when I get backhanded compliments about being a man and braiding my hair or suprised comments about my choice of formalwear.

These moments aren't affirmations of my masculinizing transition, and strangers being 'wrong' about my presentation and gendering me as a trans woman is not the funniest fucking thing, especially in the presence of my transfemme friends who experience the same backhanded shit I do.

My experience can't be chalked up to binary transphobia because I very much present as a multi-gendered person. I suffer transphobia not because I am androgynous, but because I'm not sometimes.

[wolfertinger666]

it's kinda disgusting how rumors/morality panics against (mainly) queer people are super prevalent and how easy it is for others to believe them without doing a quick check or literally using their brain. it's disgusting how queer/trans people (mainly transfem folk) are the prime victims of this, situations that were blown out of proportion to ostracize them and remove them from their support systems. kinks and personal info exposed for the public to gawk at, it's all so gross.

just stop we are going backwards.

[dajo42]

Makes me sick seeing worthless TRAs get attention on their donations posts. I hope you get nothing which is what men like you deserve

lmao are you like..... a cartoon villain

do you have like a billowing purple cape or some shit like... chill. life isnt an anime. but if it was you would probably be from a filler arc with how little anything you just said remotely matters

i mean thank you though because im gonna use this as an opportunity to reiterate that im a disabled trans woman for whom life has been very difficult and expensive of late and i could really use the help of people who have the ability and willingness!! i only have paypal which i will link at the bottom of this response but like

if i (a woman no matter what you say) get nothing thats fine. after all it doesnt cost me anything to live in your head rent free

xoxoxoxo

paypal.me/dajojago or just dajo42art@gmail.com

if you can help that would be super appreciated <3 reblogs also help <3 or just clown on this anon for a bit thats also fun

[coolestfinch]

i am not in the headspace to write anything poetic or profound about this. but another trans woman was murdered, in my state. a woman of my city. an artist, musician, & crisis counselor. her name is Liara Kaylee Tsai.

i won’t be sharing the details of her death here but i encourage you to read about what happened to her. & understand that according to her own social media, this is not the first act of violence that she has endured but it is the one that took her life. she was young, vibrant, & loved by her community. she did not deserve this.

i’m so sorry, liara. we will not forget you. we will not stop fighting. give us our roses while we’re still fucking here.

[lilyhoshikawa]

i think it's weird that trans women specifically are told so much to "temper our expectations" regarding transition, talked down to and told "you won't look like an anime girl" (a thing nobody expects) and "you'll just look like your mom" (a refrain i hear weirdly often in a community where ppl's relationships with their parents aren't the best). like, why do trans women need to be condescended to like this? i never see trans men being told they won't look like buff action heroes and they need to get comfortable looking like their dads

what i imagine is this is largely a response to the fact that many trans women are dysphoric, many of us are hyper-aware of how we look and present, bc 1. we're women in a society that views womanhood as an elaborate, expensive and time-consuming performance first and foremost and 2. not passing is actively dangerous for us in the current political climate. a lot of trans women are intensely dysphoric, struggling to learn the performance of womanhood for the first time later in life, frustrated by things like voice training and other aspects HRT can't affect, and constantly terrified of the implications of that. trans women aren't begging to look like supermodels 3 months into our transition, we just want to pass as women and feel comfortable with our own appearance

and apparently that desperation, fear and uncertainty is really annoying to the people who share a community with us, and so rather than listening they decide the best course of action is to make 500 posts lecturing us about womanhood from the perspective of somebody who fundamentally does not grasp our struggles

i even see some trans women perpetuating this and i feel like in many cases it's the affluent, white or otherwise privileged transfems who don't have to worry about it to such a degree. i'm not saying there's not a subsection of the culture that's toxic or fueled by reactionary beliefs, but those people were never going to be moved by this type of language anyway. the people these posts are trying to reach are people who need less being talked down to and more just being understood and helped and heard