#truly best youd ever seen what a waste

[pcktknife]

i would've made for such a good fucking cat life's so unfair

[diavolosthots]

Mammon for the SFW alphabet! ☺️

Yes 😌 sorry it took a hot minute

MAMMON SFW ALPHABET

Argument: Do they argue? How bad does it get?

Listen its not that he WANTS to argue with his s/o, its just that hes SO determined to prove to them that hes not wrong. With that being said, though, he doesnt actually argue and it rarely escalates into anything bad, he just has a ~friendly~ discussion. 

Babies: fur baby, scaly baby, or no baby?

I dont know why but I can totally see him wanting to have a dog (a hell hound???) Because they're like best friends ya know? And he does tend to get lonely a lot. 

Cocktails: are they extroverted? Introverted? Both? With their s/o? 

More extroverted with an introverted streak. He likes to be out there and have his presence known, make friends and such, but he also just likes to hide in the house and be by himself. Same with a s/o.

Dance: would they encourage their s/o to become "sinful" so they could stay in hell/the devildom? How would they take it if they did?

LOLOLOL yes he would. That sneaky lil snake would ~accidentally~ make you sin. Using the Lord's name in vain? Killing demons with him? Committing adultery? Its okay though, Mammon will catch you as soon as you fall, so you'll be right back in the Devildom with him 

Exit: Do they like to travel? Where would they want to go? 

Eh he's surprisingly more of a homebody, but that doesnt mean you cant get him out. If YOU want to travel, hes cool with it, but dont expect him to make all the plans. 

Food: what's their favorite date with their s/o?

Ever since you introduced him to picnic dates, those have become his favorite. Just making a little basket ready and having you to himself a while, though embarrassing, is also really relaxing to him 

Grease: what's something special they made for their s/o? 

Listen hes not cheesy or sappy like that and don't EVER mention it around his brothers, but he, uh, made you a cute little photo album for your birthday of you and him together. You know, just memories. The back had your name and his name in a heart. BUT DONT MENTION THAT.

Honesty: would they ever hide something from their s/o? 

The fact that he used to steal from them LOLOLOL he still denies it ever happened okay your things just ~disappeared~ and he stands by that. Those facts will never see the light of day. 

Independence: what type of lover are they? Clingy or carefree? 

A good mix of both. He doesnt like to CLING to you, but he also doesnt like it when you're away from him and he gets super anxious when he hasn't seen you in a while. Will brush it off as a "oh I was just worried some low life demon got you, you know? Don't want Lord Diavolo's precious students hurt…"

Jealous: are they a jealous person?

He's actually pretty mellow. Like yeah he doesnt like it when someone hits on you or stares after you too long, but he's not as irrational as some other people *cough* Levi *cough* satan *cough*. 

Kindness: how far would they go for their s/o? Ride or die kind of thing?

Hes definitely a ride or die demon but he hates to admit that these ~feelings~ exist. But still, he watches over you and protects you a lot more than you'll ever know. 

Love: what's their love type? 

Acts of service and gifts are his way to go. The minute he realized he had feelings for you was the minute he found himself spending money on things he thinks youd like. Imagine that shock! But he also just likes to help you a lot, no matter if hes good or not lol. 

Mouth: where's their favorite place to kiss?

He likes to kiss the top of your head because youre his previous little human and, in a sense, hes super glad he met you and reluctant to let go. 

No: anything they wouldnt do with or for their s/o? 

Save money lol. No seriously though you'll never get his gambling, greedy tendencies out of him. He'll still spend it, still go into debt, no matter how many times you beg him to stop. 

Odor: what's their favorite scent? On a s/o?

He likes lemon and lime. There's just something about those fruits that set him wild but also makes him comfortable. If you use lemon shampoo or even just touch a lemon, hes all over you. 

PDA: how open are they to PDA 

Hella open. Will hold you, drag you, carry you, kiss you, cuddle you. He just likes to touch you any chance he gets, even if it embarrasses him a lot at times. 

Questions: will they be an open book or not? 

Eh… like hes not as bad as lucifer and tells his s/o a lot but he also hates and doesnt know how to talk about his feelings so it depends on the topic his s/o wants to know about. 

Reserved: what's something that only his s/o would know about? 

How much he hurts inside. Hes more sensitive than people realize and every time his brothers, or anyone, come after him, it does take a piece of his heart out. Its not his fault hes so greedy, he was made that way when he fell. He just wishes people would sympathize with that a bit. 

Serious: how long until they start to get really serious with their s/o? 

It takes him a hot minute since he doesnt quite know how true YOUR feelings are. Maybe you're just with him for money or because hes a nice waste of time. But he learns to trust the longer it goes on. 

Type: what's their type in a s/o ? 

Someone kind and adventurous. Someone who sticks around through thick and thin and is not easily scared off. Just someone who turns out to be a best friend he can confide in, but also kiss and hold at night. Just someone who truly wants him. 

Untouched: have they been in a relationship before? How many? 

Hes had a few actually, but people cant keep up with him and his greedy tendencies and leave sooner or later. He hates to admit it, but he loves the feeling of being in love and being needed.

Very: what's something they're really good at outside of hobbies? 

Hes actually a pretty decent race car driver and has been in some human races! He loves the thrill and the fast cars and drives to win. 

Weird: what's something odd or weird about them?

Not super weird but why in the world does he wear sunglasses both inside and outside, in the DEVILDOM you know the place thats known to be dark and gloomy??

Xylophone: their favorite part about you?Physically? Mentally? 

Physically, it's your face. Its something that grounds him and he searches for it in a crowd. No matter if you have high cheeks or a round face, he just likes it. Mentally, it's your patience with him; he knows hes a lot and a lot of people dont like that or are willing to put up with that. 

Yearning: would they like a family? How many kids? 

He would like a kid some day. Preferably a son, but that's a long ways off and he knows he needs to mature a little more before he takes those steps. 

Zebra: Do they change throughout their relationship? Are they truly themselves? 

He becomes more honest, both with himself and his s/o, which is to the shock of everyone. But what can he say? He wants to be the best demon he can, for you. 

[bloojayoolie]

Back to the Future, Be Like, and Beer: lyrangalia Folow prokopetz experience bizarre malfunctions wih such overwhelming frequency isnt just an artefact of the television serial format. Rarer, ศ3 because the Federaoon as a cuture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed ful of beyond-cutting-edge bech they don't realy understand Endlessly trustraing t you have to fight them, because they can puil an efectively unlimited number of bulsht space-magic countermeasures out of their arses but they're as lkely as not to give themseves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie n the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core maunctions and ncidents? That doesn't actualy happen t anyone else, rs lteraly just Federaion vessels mat go off the rais ike that And they do so on a fairty regular basis So to everyone else in the galaxy all humans are basically Doc Brown prokopetz Alens who have seen the Back to the Future movies ineraly dont realise that Doc Brown is meant so be funny Theyre just ike yes, mat is exactly what at human sclentists are lke in my experlence" THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPEC ES WİTH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE E ROOM AND RAN AWAY vulcan science academy why do you need another warp core humans we're going to plug two of them together and see t we go twice as ast vsa last time we gave you a warp core you threw k into a sun to see if the surn humans hahaha yeah s IT EXPLODED humans it exploded twice as fast I love this. Especially because of how wel plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much bemer against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with mitary tactics is nigh-impossble, but beating them with wacky supersclence shenanigans works as long as they're unique wacky Yeah, I love this. Reminds me of the thing I wrote a whle back about Humans in high fantasy realms- they're basically Team Fuck it Hold My Beer I Got This Impulsive, passionate to faut the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironicalty creates even greater levels of sheer buill-headedness. Even their "cooler heads take action in monng or weeks Al their great heroes of the past were impossbly rash by galacoc standards Humans Just Go With It, which is ther great flaw but also their greatest strength roachpatiol Ingons: okay we dont get vulcan science academy get what ingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stutfy prisses but you're also tougher stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way ingons: why do you let them run your federation vulcan science academy look ukan sdience academy: this s a species where you give them two warp cores they don't do experiments on one and save the other for if the frst one up ucan science academy: this is a species where you give them two warp cores, mey wil ask for a third one, immediabely plug all three into each other punch a hole into an artemate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in R because theyre offended by that, steal meir warp cores, plug those together, punch ther way back here, then try to burn a nearby sun into a torus because that was wha neir initial scientric experment was for and they dien't want to waste a trip ucan science academy: they did that last week we have the weite-up right here. it's getting published in about six hundred scientific jounals across two hundred aiterent discipines because of how many established theories their dculous Ittle expednon has just caled into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actuaily knows how vulcan science academy s i why we ler mem do whatever the hee mey ingons..can we be a part of your federation the-real-seebs Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the Trst human warp drive thing in the movie. That was. Not how Vuicans would have done t you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 amost never broke and back, sure almost none of the truly welird shit hat befel Voyager and all the starships hat imtated O'Bnen to Enterprise what was the weirdest malfunction 09 ever had? the senior stat geting brapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashr, and that was because a human decded to just dump the transporter buter Into the station's core memory and hope everything would work out somehow which is a bt like swapping your compuner's hard drive out for a memory card from a Play Station 2 and expecing to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your you know what I'm not done wth this post let's talk about the Pegasus the USS Fuckng Pegasus, testoed for tme first Stameet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in olation of a treaty wh the Romulans they're playing catchup trying bo develop a technology other species have had for a century and what do the do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if hey can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey whle were at it, while we're building our very first one of these mings just to find out r this s possibie, lers see we can make mis thing phase us out ofnormal space so we can fy through planets wnile we're invisible but wihy said the one Vulcan in the room because that would fucking rule said the humans, high-hving each other Red Bul mere must be like twenty dfferent counseling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone waks in and starts up with a story ke 'our assignment was o repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate buit a chronometric- tux toaster that toasts bread aner yourve eaten it MacGuyver" is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror belevision during orientation at a human coliege, vulcans are presented with a ist of what is the word tuck for," the innocent young ulcans want to know. "surely mere are more logical intensty moaitiers yeah, yourd think so. say the weary jaded vulcan professors. "youd real)y here is a phrase in vulcan for the particular moment you understand what he This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance The Borg can adapt to the brilant miltary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire. the koingons and even the cold logical imellectual prowess of tme The Borg weren't prepared for a starship captain to hare them, into his 50% nor detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made of hard light

[obfuscatedcarisi]

All the times Sonny Could have kissed you but didn’t (and the one time he did)

Part 5 is here. I am so sorry this took so long. I’m week 3 at my new job and it’s been a real ride. My boss got into an accident on my first day and has been off work ever since and so I have had to hit the groud sprinting with no training I am barely alive rn.

Anyway. I hope you like this one - let me know what you think! Also shoutout to Kindergarten Cop!

Part 5 / ?

You walked into what felt like the 37th library of the day in search of someone who might recognize your perp. He'd been tearing out carefully selected pages from a library copy of The Divine Comedy and leaving them with his victims once he'd finished with them.

“The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain.”

It was truly heinous.

So here you were, doing your absolute best to politely interrogate the sweet librarian with Carisi by your side. You were fed up, your patience wearing thin. You knew the fatigue was showing all over your face.

You huffed and turned away, pretending to inspect the surroundings and trying to squash the panic rising in your chest. You needed to catch a break. This felt like you were wasting valuable time but it was the only lead you had. Looking around, you saw nothing out of the ordinary; dark wooden tables marred by years of stains and scratches, metal chairs upholstered in burgundy burlap. Did it match the green carpet tiles? Of course not, but you didn’t suppose that was a consideration. There was a group of children, kindergartners you supposed, sat on the carpet in the kid’s corner and….seemingly unsupervised….

As one of them came running over, Carisi touched your elbow and turned you to face him.

“What was that?” You asked, straining a smile at the woman behind the desk.

“I said I can ask my supervisor, she remembers everyone and everything that passes through here.”

“I’ll come with you, Y/L/N you can wait here. Besides,  Carisi nodded behind you, a glint in his eye. “I think you’ve made a friend.”

You looked around and the small child was grinning at you with a big gap toothed smile.

“Hi” you said, crouching down to meet them on their level.

“Hi” the child beamed “ Are you going to read us a story?” It was more of a plea than a question.

“Uhh, isn’t there someone else here who does that?” you looked around for someone who could looked like they might be already employed to do that kind of thing.

“They said they had to step out for a second. That was ages ago!”

So, probably just a few seconds, you thought. You pulled your most dramatic shocked face “Ages! Well. In that case, what are we reading?”

Despite your mood, you were not an asshole, and would not take your frustrations out on anyone, especially not children. You followed the child over to the group and was promptly handed a large, square, hardback, picture book.

The Birds and The Bees

Oh boy. This was surely inappropriate. And way, way above your pay grade.

“Ummmm. I’m not sure this is -”

You looked around and saw Carisi coming towards you. Disappointed. That was way too quick to be positive.

“Hey -” His voice was urgent. He was cut off.

“Where do babies come from?” A little voice piped up from the back. You’d never seen Carisi look so stunned. His mouth hung open.

“Uhhhhh”

He’d been reduced to only blinking. You bit down on your lip to keep from laughing.

“My dad’s a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.” another voice added.

Wow. Things were getting real over here. “Well. That’s. Um.” Carisi began, gesturing haphazardly with his hands.

“Our mom says our Dad’s a real sex machine.” A pair of identical twins decided to add to the discussion.

You choked on your own spit and doubled over. Tears springing to the corners of your eyes.

“Hey you OK” Sonny’s voice broke through the choking. This was Sonny checking on you, not just Carisi. One hand came to the small of you back, the other cupping your cheek, concern written over his face.

“I’m good” you laughed, not holding back anymore.

“Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” Another child teased.

Sonny didn’t look away. He was still checking you over. His eyes met yours, finally, he let himself go and gave you the biggest, brightest smile you’d ever seen on him.

“Well...We’re...uhhhh” He searched your face, looking for the right answer.

“Are you two going to kiss?!” a disgusted voice rang out “Yuck!” they screeched.

“KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!”

He let out a nervous laugh but actually dipped his head down.

“Detective! That's him over there!” The librarian shouted out, pointing towards the doorway.

“Fuck!” You yelled as you both tore away from each other and sprinted in the direction of the man who was making a beeline for anywhere-but-here-and-now.

You couldn't tell if the gasps were because you were YELLING in a library, because you CURSED in front of kindergartners or because of the thrill of a live police chase. Sadly, you couldn't stick around to find out.

[chokeonmydickgrayson]

Headcanon #12

Taking the Batfam home to meet your Family.

Dick:

You’d probably have to tell him about twenty times on the ride there to keep his hands to himself, not even a little hand holding in front of your parents. (Lord knows how eager he is to have his hands on you at all times, though honestly you never mind it. You’re father however would slaughter him at the sight of any physical contact between the two of you and you were not going to be splitting up any fights tonight.)

Though Dick, being the playful idiot he was, would probably ignore your warnings. He’d slickly let his hands linger on yours as he’d pass you things around the house, subtitly winking to you as he did so. It makes your heart beat skip and draws a smirk to your lips, you loved his playfulness.

Other then his occasional defiance of the whole hands to yourself rule, he’d be a down right proper gentleman.

Before dinner he’d help your mother in the kitchen with the food, prepping the vegetables, setting and removing the pot roast from the oven, even grabbing her the various bottles of spices she collects and keeps stores up on the top shelves (which she can’t reach for the life of her and is to stubborn to move no matter how many times you and your father beg her to). Once he leaves the room your mother would most likely grab your arm and smack you lightly questioning instantly about plans of a wedding. “Your not getting any younger Y/N and neither am I! I want my damn grandbabies! He’s gentle, he can cook and he’s got the looks” she’d wink with a shake of the hips before giving a chuckle when youd flush red and burry your face in your palms “im just sayin’...the way he looks at you is the same way your father looked at me when we used to date...It’s clear he really loves you sweetheart.”

During dinner he’d probably be seated next to you. He’d probably let his leg rest against yours as he ate, he remembering to use those billionaire manors Alfred and Bruce instilled in him. It warmed your heart at how hard he truly was trying to impress your parents, you’d probably have to repay him the favor after dinner. He’d do his best to impress the table with some quirky banter and after the meal he’d be the first to excuse himself to help clear the table and help with the dishes. (Geh you almost wished he did the dishes at home. You’d give a chuckle and roll your eyes at just how much of a kiss ass he was being, but you thought it was cute.)

After dinner he’d probably try an attempt to spend time with your father. He was positive he had your mother’s approval but, he needed to know your father approved of him as well. It would come in hand one day when he asked for your hand in marriage. He’d probably sit back on the couch diagonal from your fathers recliner and watch the football game with him, he making small talk about the games plays. (As much as Dick enjoyed sports he never got to watch them, with your ever busy life styles sitting home and lounging in front of the tv watching Sunday night football was never an option). Your father knowing what Dick was doing would be the least bit interested in what he had to say. He’d give a sigh and mute the game, not making eye contact as he spoke “if you wanna brown nose my ass kid, your fucking shitty at it. Let me just save you the trouble, i will never approve of anyone that my little girl brings into this house, I know what a young guy like yourself wants with a beautiful girl like my daughter, I was your age once too.” He’d probably sip at a bottle of beer, before placing it on the coffee table in front of him leaning in closer for Dick to meet his eyes. “That being said, you make my little girl happier than I’ve ever seen her. You’ve made it further than anyone else she’s ever dated, no one else has made it into this house” he’d hum fingers rubbing at the short kept black beard on his chin. “You must be special to her...you two got pet names?” He’d ask Dick through squinted eyes, to which Dick unsure how to answer would blurt no. A bluff, your father could smell it a mile away. “What do bees make?” To which a very confused dick would blink and answer back “wait? What? Um, Honey?” You’d hear the word honey and poke your head through the kitchens serving window and respond with “Yeah baby?” Dick would turn bright red in the face and your father would hum with satisfaction, leaning himself back into his chair with his beer, returning the tv volume back to normal “your a shitty liar, you’ll do I guess”

Jason:

Jay wasn’t the most polished of all guys, sure he knew manners but more times than not he’d never use them. You’d beg him to at least try and act like he was raised in a damn house and not like a hood rat raised in the gutters of Gotham. He’d probably take notice of how important this was to you and do his best to comply. You debated telling him to be careful with how much physical contact he’d put out, but you knew it’d be a waste of your breath to even try.

His palms would be damp most likely out of nerves (but hell if he’d admit that to anyone.) You’d slide your hand into his regardless of the sweat, and knot your fingers together giving him a gentle reassuring squeeze “you’ll be fine, no matter what happens tonight i will still love you” you’d whisper to him leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He’d appreciate that more than he’d be able to express.

While you and your mother begin to cook dinner, Jason would be sat on a chair in the kitchen most likely findling with his phone doing some type of “work”. Generally unless spoken to, he wouldn’t speak which could problematically be seen as rude. Your mother would most likely eye you over with disapproval and annoyance motioning to the phone in his hand. Moms are gonna mom. You’d sigh and call his name, evoking an immediate response of “what?” You cringing at the tone. Throughly to be clear you’re not cringing due to the toughness of his tone, but from the fact that you knew his response was going to catch a bit of lash back. You’d just take a breath and hand him a carrot and a peeler. He’d look at you with a brow raised before looking down at the carrot “am I suppose to freaking chop it or something?” He’d ask honestly unknowing that some people did in fact peel the top layer of a carrot off. You’d just snort a bit to his response you not thinking anything out of ordinary it. With a gentle shove of the shoulder you’d take the carrot back and demonstrate proper peeling procedures before handing it back “think you can handle that Mr tough guy? If not I got some heavy dishes in need setting up that have your name engraved right on ‘em” you’d tease. Your mothers eyes would watch the two of you more eased by the way he reacted to you, however her impression so far wasn’t the best. Once he’d finished peeling the carrots and had left the kitchen your mother would pull you aside and voice her concerns. “I know you love him Y/N but are you sure he’s good for you? I mean I can see what you see in him” she’d pause watching him as he set the table. There was no denying Jason was one gorgeous man, the honest to god total bad boy packag. Stunning body build, beautiful piercing blue eyes, and that irritatingly gorgeous dark hair with that one white pinstrip. God you couldn’t help but watch him as well. You could have spent the rest of the night just fantising about what you’d do for him later if your mother had not stopped you. “I’m just saying baby, think about it before you make any choices. You say he treats you well, and I can’t be one to disagree, I just don’t appreciate the foul mouth and the attitude. He clearly means a lot to you and you clearly mean a lot to him...maybe just try and smooth his edges out”

During dinner Jason would most likely take a seat next to you, however across from your father. At some point in your meal you’d ask “daddy could you pass me the salt?” Hey, you were still young and your father was one of the most important figures of your life. Your father would reach forward his hand overlapping onto Jason’s, confusion and anger splaying over his face. Jason had unintentionally without paying attention as well reached to hand you the salt, seeing as how sometimes you could be guilty of calling him by the same name during bedroom play. Your face would be bright red as you sink in your seat, Jay casually chewing the piece of meat in his mouth “oh wow, this is kinda awkward....Id love to give you an excuse for why I reached for the salt, but i got nada.....your daughter calls me daddy too.” He’d smirk.

There was no after dinner, your fathers top blew, you and Jason being kicked out of the house. Don’t worry, your father would leave Jason with fairwell parting gift, a good clip to the jaw....It’s safe to say your father does NOT approve of Jason and your mothers view point may be more skewed now. He’d look defeated and upset that he messed up tonight so badly but how could you stay mad at him. Your family could be difficult there was a reason you didn’t come around much yourself. You’d just press yourself into his torso planting soft kisses there “I’m proud that you at least gave it your best shot Jay, but i hope ya don’t have hopes of ever being called Daddy again after tonight.”

Tim:

You would have zero concerns about taking Tim home to meet your family. He was respectful, smart, and handsome, he was everything you look for in the boy you bring home to mom and dad. You were excited for your family to finally meet him, you’d only chewed your mothers ear off endlessly about the amazing boy you’ve been blessed with, you couldn’t wait to flaunt him off.

Tim however, would be a nervous wreck. He’d probably ask Bruce about a thousand times how he should act and what he should say. He didn’t want to blow this, you mean the world to him, he’d hate for you to leave him over a small screw up. He’d be so nervous he’d practice the phrase “Hi Mr and Mrs Y/L/N I’m Tim, it’s nice to meet you” about a thousand times. You’d notice his jitters and would let your palm slip innocently against his lap, softly petting his upper thigh. “Relax Tim, you’re over thinking it. We’re just grabbing dinner with my folks, just be the Tim Drake I fell in love with, he’s the best guy I know” you’d tell him. I’d do wonders for his nerves.

Before dinner Tim would be attentive and helpful in the kitchen, he’d start cooking right along side your mother as if he were part of the family. (Which you were glad he felt that way) Your mother would love how eager Tim was to learn her cooking methods, even if he was a terrible cook. It was an A for effort from her. Youd crack a grin and watch as he used the might of those finely toned muscles of his to mash the potatoes. He’d look so adorable in your mothers apron, his tongue greased our past his lips in the corner as he really focused on the task at hand. You’d give a smile while your mother wasn’t looking and dab a bit of potato on his nose kissing his cheek softly. Nobody but you and Tim has to know about that. She’d smile when he walked out of the room, she watching him take his time to set out the table out in the dining room. “You were right Y/N, when your right your right. I didn’t believe you when you said you’d found the perfect guy but I can’t argue with you! He’s a little cutie pie, you two are adorable together hunny. He must really love you to go through all this trouble tonight, you’re very lucky.” She was right, you watched him with practically heart shaped eyes. You were incredibly lucky.

Dinner would go fairly smooth. He’d do his best to help clean up after dinner, though he’d end up making bigger mess in the kitchen so your mother would banish him from her realm.

After dinner he’d sit with your father, though Tim being the shy guy he was didn’t really have much to say. He didn’t give a damn about sports, the only thing Tim could talk about that he and your dad had in common would be you. He’d clear his throat and rub his palms nervously on his pant legs he clearing his throat “S-sir....i know I’m not the hippest guy on the block and I get it if you’d rather your daughter date someone cooler than me...but I can promise you I’m never gonna do anything wrong by her. She means a lot to me and I’m sorry I don’t have much else to say, I don’t think other than Y/N we really have anything in common” he’d nervously laugh “but I can tell you that I love her and I promise every day I fight to be a better me so she can have best me possible.” He’d say eyes locking with your fathers.

Your father would take in a deep breath and look Tim over once or twice not saying a word, turning his attention back to the tv. He’d pass a beer over to Tim cracking it open. “You’re an okay kid” he’d say pounding back a good swing of that alcohol before slamming the can down on the table “but if you’re lying to me and you break my baby girls heart I’m gonna break your damn knee caps” Hey, if ya don’t make the threat are you really her father? All jokes aside your father would absolutely approve. He’d pull you aside after he’d shaken poor Tim’s ass and whisper into your ear “don’t tell him i want him to fear me a bit, but I approve sweetie, you picked a good guy.”

[untoldtruths]

Lifting me up , tearing me down , I take responsibility for everything I have done.

I was so infatuated , every move, every word I was so consumed in wanting to be everything and anything you wanted. I wanted to be where you were . Time & Time again I fell short. I was never good enough then ( and it is clear I am not good enough now ). 

The world really has its fucked ways of working . I spent years trying to convince you I was worthy of your time you dated Cain& Clau....only for you to then spend years doing the same watching on the side lines of my life ... which is what you would portray as a tragedy and train wreck ( also known as MY LIFE ) . It is no surprise if today you feel you wasted years of your life , I would say those thoughts are justified but wouldn't be fully accurate. At least not for me . 

Fear : It consumed us , jealously it ruined us, Anger it killed us. 

Where I went wrong is literally the moment in your life when you try what you believe is last HOPE the last straw ,you stoop to levels to get a reaction because you fear he has lost all interest .... yes I am talking about seeing if something you would do if your actions would get a reaction (THE worst idea don’t ever do this people ) if something you’d do would make him mad or jealous ( i had this notion that if it does anger him he still cares ) I wanted anything any reaction , of jealousy of anger.... but when I walked into your friends house (you were still seeing one of the girls or maybe just ending things with them ) and you stood there to only find out it’s all good he gave me permission to “ sleep with you “ .... PERMISSION.... WHAATTTT . I didn’t like being weak I didn’t like being controlled or to show anyone I cared about anything I didn’t want anyone to have power over me .... do even know thé feeling the rage NO You dont because NONE of my friends are or ever will be able to fuck you because I would kill them never would i never have i allowed anyone to know how amazing you are in bed I don’t speak on these things for a reason ... but to be told YOU gave someone .. PERMISSION . do you know what type of anger that ignites in a person when you hear “ I was given permission to bang you “ that isnt bro code fellas .....thats a straight loan from the bank like a rent to buy ...It didn’t matter that I knew and loved every inch of you it didnt matter that i could pick you out blindfolded from a line of people just by the smell of your clothes ... it didn’t matter NONE of it matters because I was SO hurt SO angry (your probably saying but isn’t this what you wanted .a reaction to see if he cared well he clearly didn’t care )because the way I seen it is you could care fucking less about me standing there giving permission like you owned me . Fuck At least take me to dinner and pretend to be interested before RENTING me out to your friends. Which in hindsite was a very bad fucking idea because it fucked everything Up when I went through with it

Anger , sadness PAIN, all the things I felt a long with very broken this combo of things is atomic , disastrous ... the thing is you could trash me and you did and in the same breath tell the world you loved me while simultaneously giving permission to your friend to rail me. But somehow I was horrible for following through with it NOT  HIM HE ASKED PERMISSION .... so when years later it happened again I guess my letter to ask you if I could fuck you friend to piss you off to see if you cared HOPING YOU DID AND WOULD SAY FUCK NO OFF LIMITS CLEARLY got lost in that snail mail .... , it wouldn’t be totally false to say I did it to fucking piss you off. I mean we aren’t here to speak on those humans . But if you asked your friend they would say my work could use a little work because of how uninterested I was in truly banging them . I was bitch about anything or anyone trying to control me I just knew the reason I was there was because you said I should be you gave the man your blessing ..  Sounds ironic doesn’t it ... I didnt want you telling me what I should do who i should do but here I was , But as the days months went on it didnt phase you me sleeping with him was like a transaction so it seemed , I would cry for you like a bitch baby call you up you would continue to allow me to reach out like a sick dog when i was in need youd come get me .. youd care for me ... you’d try to comment on what I wore in pictures the negative attention I craved but NEVER once explained yourself. YOU fucking OWNED me every single inch of me. Don’t worry people this isn’t all his fault I hold myself accountable I mean I didnt have to fuck his friend... or his other friend but I was the only one who told him he was my best fucking friend of course I was going to tell him like fuck life was wild ) 

Realizing what I did it fucking hurt man , so bad I cry to this day even thinking about how much you controlled my every breath without EVEN fully realizing it ....the firs 4 years you'd text me I would drive to you... I would drop my life It didn’t matter I was there.

 I can still  smell you. I can still feel the warmth of your body on mine. The way you would run your hand through my hair as you kissed me the way you stared at me. The way you’d trace my tattoo knowing I only got it because you had it too . 

The fucking stubborness of us both .

and here I am with the AUDACITY to write about it all .

Well folks judge me all you want . People have been doing it all my life even when I was good so why not express yourself.

I am leaving out so many details like the ones that make me look like the shittiest human but in my version of How ROS met Me it started with me who was obssed with him to the point of trying to convince myself i wasn’t .... so in that moment of my life loving him wasn’t allowed .. you know when you try to do everything or truly ANYONE really to try and get over someone and prove to yourself that the love of your life isn’t a douche bag who just told his friend he could bang your psycho ass ......that is what got me.. I wanted so bad to be KARMA to be like OH YOU WANT TO GIVE SOMEONE PERMISSION TO SLEEP WITH ME PFFT this wont be the best sex your friends had because only YOU GET THAT duh, but I wasnt letting this go quietly .. I was now angry and on a mission to prove to myself you meant nothing , I tried so hard. 

Funny thing is every year without a shadow of a doubt we seen each other with until something happened I ended up at the hospital alone dealing with something.... i had to make a decision that I knew would kill you and so I did it alone I got scared to face the reality of my horrible choices (did you know that they keep medical records of when these things happen ... yup so becareful who comes with you to your check ups because I never wanted anyone to know what I did ) but after that I needed to get away and I got a job with an jazz airline to go move to AB I was running away to leave the town and I had a goodbye party and everything and right before it happened I latched on to a broken man from my work a man whos life was so far from being connected with anyone here I literally abandoned everyone moved literally just to a city over and never seen anyone, it was a growing experience. ( It didn’t do much because here the fuck I am writting about you 13 years later ) 

I don’t know at what point you’ll be at in your life when you ever get the chance to read this but I’m sorry for what I did. I know it’ll add to your hate towards me but I think we’re past that . Not sure you could dislike me More than you already do .

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 6: A Message At Long Last

It had been days since you saw the cute guy, and you have basically given up any sort of hope that he would actually message you.

To be fair, it had only been one or two days, but still. Anyway, you still had stuff to work on, so there really wasn’t any use in moping about a cute guy you talked to for a grand total of four minutes and thirteen seconds.

Someone was pestering you, so you decided to answer, only to find that it was a handle you didn’t recognize.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: I CANNOT FUCKING *BELIEVE* THAT YOU ARE THE SAME FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT TEREZI GAVE ME THE CHUMHANDLE TO.

CG: I WASN’T GOING TO TROLL A DUMBASS LIKE THAT, SO I DIDN’T FOR WEEKS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A STUPID WASTE OF THE PRECIOUS AMOUNT OF TIME I HAVE LEFT. CG: AND YET, HERE I AM. CG: MESSAGING YOU. CG: BECAUSE I DECIDED THAT THERE WAS A POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WEREN’T A COMPLETELY AWFUL PERSON. CG: ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT YET, I’M THE GUY WHO WORKS AT ROSEMARY. CG: YOU KNOW, THE STORE YOU WENT TO GET A SUIT AT.

TG: holy shit you actually messaged me TG: this is the best goddamned day of my entire life TG: ive been blessed with your presence

CG: DAMN RIGHT YOU HAVE.

TG: you seem a lot more angry over text though

CG: IN CASE YOU FAILED TO NOTICE, I WAS AT WORK WHEN I MET YOU. CG: I WAS ACTING “PROFESSIONAL.” CG: PEOPLE DON’T USUALLY TAKE KINDLY TO OTHERS YELLING INSULTS AND CURSE WORDS INTO THEIR AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS

TG: so are you always this angry when youre not at work

CG: YES.

TG: goddamn TG: also, you know tz???

CG: YEAH, SHE’S A CHILDHOOD FRIEND, AND SHE ALSO DEMANDED TO GIVE ME YOUR CHUMHANDLE DESPITE ME SAYING THAT I ABSOLUTELY DID *NOT* WANT IT. CG: BUT YOU GAVE ME YOUR CHUMHANDLE ANYWAY, SO IT’S NOT LIKE IT MATTERED.

TG: wait but why did she give you my chumhandle in the first place TG: did she just up and decide that we needed to be friends because she and me are friends and so are you and her

CG: NO. SHE GAVE IT TO ME BECAUSE I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NEW FUCKING MEMES GOING AROUND THAT ARE BASED ON A VIDEO YOU MADE. CG: I COULD MAYBE HANDLE THE VIDEO. CG: IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY, AND KANAYA SAID I SHOULD TRY LAUGHING AT MY PAST MISTAKES INSTEAD OF GETTING ANGRY AT THEM. CG: BUT THE MEMES. OH GOD THE MEMES. CG: THEY WERE THE MOST HORRIFIC THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, AND THAT’S PRETTY FUCKING DIFFICULT THING TO ACCOMPLISH, SO I GUESS I AM FORCED TO GIVE PROPS TO THAT. CG: BUT THAT DOES NOT NEGATE THE ESTABLISHED *FACT* THAT THEY ARE THE WORST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY EXISTENCE. CG: THEY MAKE ME WANT TO STAB MY EYES OUT AND BE BLIND FOR THE REST OF MY WAKING LIFE. CG: I WON’T EVEN GET TEREZI TO TEACH ME HOW TO SEE BECAUSE THAT WOULD ENABLE ME TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A WHIFF OF THE SHIT PEOPLE PUT ON THE INTERNET. CG: I’LL JUST GO THROUGHOUT MY LIFE BEING PERFECTLY FUCKING CONTENT WITH BEING ABLE TO SEE JACK SHIT.

TG: are you the guy who sent me that ten page rant then TG: because that was fucking amazing TG: best goddamn thing i ever seen TG: highlight of the year

CG: IF THOSE GOD-FORSAKEN MEMES BECOME THE MEME OF THE YEAR, I WILL FIND SOME WAY TO MURDER YOU IN THE MOST SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE.

TG: ouch TG: guess im going to have to resign myself to my death TG: because that meme is the best TG: it will live on for generations TG: it will never get old TG: we will be on the edge of death all wrinkled and dying of whatever old people die of TG: like a heart attack or something TG: and then i will turn to the nearest person and speak with my dying breath TG: “maybe one day my death will come so i never have to look at your god-forsaken channel ever again, you complete and utter douche muffin” TG: and then theyll start laughing because they love that fucking meme TG: memorized the entire goddamned thing TG: it will be taught in schools TG: kids will have to recite an excerpt of it to the class TG: analyze the shit out of it TG: where does all this guys anger come from TG: nobody knows TG: theyll just have to guess until theyre blue in the face

CG: THE WORDS. THEY DON’T STOP. CG: I’VE JUST BEEN OVER HERE POLITELY WAITING TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BURN YOURSELF OUT. CG: BUT APPARENTLY YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GO ON FOR UNTIL AFTER THE UNIVERSE END UNLESS SOMEONE SHUTS YOU UP. CG: AND CLEARLY THE UNIVERSE HAS GRANTED ME THIS VERY IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE SURE YOU DON’T RUN YOUR MOUTH FOR ALL ETERNITY.

TG: clearly the greatest honor to ever be granted to someone TG: the privilege to tell the dave strider to shut his pothole

CG: SHUT YOUR POTHOLE.

TG: hahahaha TG: on a completely different note what even made you write a ten page rant about my channel anyways

CG: MOSTLY THE FACT THAT IT WAS A STUPID CHANNEL. CG: BUT ALSO THE FACT THAT IT WAS THREE AM, AND I HADN’T SLEPT FOR A WHILE.

TG: so what youre telling me is TG: you *actually* sent me a ten page rant when you were that sleep deprived TG: no wonder it was so incoherent

CG: I COULD PROBABLY HAVE WRITTEN IT BETTER IF I WASN’T SO TIRED. CG: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST GODDAMNED PIECE OF WRITING IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE CG: NOTHING ELSE COULD EVER COMPETE TO THE MASTERPIECE I WOULD HAVE CREATED. CG: HOWEVER, INSTEAD, MY PAST SELF, AND BY THAT I MEAN *MYSELF*, WRITES A HEAPING PILE OF FESTERING SHIT.

TG: point taken TG: the question here is TG: will you ever write this masterpiece TG: will i ever get the pleasure of reading this glorious piece of hate mail directed towards yours truly

CG: NO.

TG: wow harsh TG: shut down immediately TG: didnt even get to go on a weirdly personal tangent TG: would have been fantastic TG: i have no conceivable idea of where it would have gone TG: but i can guarantee it would have been the second best thing in the universe TG: second only to the hypothetical rewrite of the glorious hate mail that you sent me

CG: AND IT WILL STAY HYPOTHETICAL FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. CG: I REFUSE TO EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN. CG: HOW DID I EVEN GET TO THE POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I AM MESSAGING YOU. CG: OH, WAIT. NOW I REMEMBER. CG: IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T A COMPLETE ASSHOLE IN PERSON. CG: CLEARLY THAT DOES NOT TRANSFER OVER TO TEXT.

TG: im hurt karkat

CG: SUCK IT UP, DINGUS.

TG: dave actually TG: i dont know if i actually introduced myself to you

CG: I DON’T THINK YOU DID EITHER. CG: ALTHOUGH, I THINK YOUR SISTER INTRODUCED YOU, BUT IT OCCURS TO ME THAT I DIDN’T ACTUALLY CATCH YOUR NAME WHEN SHE SAID IT. CG: IT’S A MIRACLE YOU ACTUALLY REMEMBERED MY NAME.

TG: what can i say im good with names TG: and also multiple people said it in my presence so i guess there is also that

CG: I GUESS

TG: …

CG: …

TG: …

CG: …

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE BOTH OF US ARE OUT OF THINGS TO SAY FOR ONCE.

TG: huh TG: i suppose so TG: …

CG: I GUESS YOU COULD PESTER ME IF YOU EVER FIND SOMETHING TO RUN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT. CG: OR I’LL TROLL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING OR OTHER. CG: LATER THOUGH. CG: BYE.

TG: see ya

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You sigh, a bit sad that the conversation ended, and then you immediately decide to inform others of this happening.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose youll never guess what happened

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is an idle chum! --

TG: i guess you will never guess what happened since you arent even hear to guess TG: what are you even doing TG: please dont tell me you went into your writing bunker TG: if you did i wont be able to talk to you for at least a week if not more TG: and no one else will be able to either TG: what if kanaya tries to message you TG: assuming you actually exchanged contact information TG: how long ago did you even do that TG: how could you not tell your own brother that you got a girls chumhandle TG: have you asked her out yet TG: it would be great if you were on a date instead of in the writing bunker TG: then people could actually contact you and you wouldnt be completely isolating yourself from the rest of the world other than brief trips outside to get food TG: anyway karkat messaged me and we had a conversation TG: i would tell you more about it but it seems you are an idle chum TG: pester me later if you want the details

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

TG: tz youll never guess what just happened

GC: 1M GO1NG TO T4K3 4 W1LD GU3SS 4ND S4Y TH4T K4RK4T F1N4LLY GOT 4ROUND TO M3SS4G1NG YOU

TG: youd be correct TG: how did you know TG: i mean i know that he got my chumhandle from you but also he refused to message me for weeks

GC: 1 H4V3 4 C3RT41N T4L3NT FOR KNOW1NG TH3S3 SORTS OF TH1NGS GC: 4ND 4LSO K4RK4T 1S Y3LL1NG 4T M3 1N 4NOTH3R CH4T GC: 1 H4V3 OPT3D TO 1GNOR3 H1M FOR NOW GC: 4NYW4Y, WH4T D1D YOU TWO T4LK 4BOUT

TG: we talked about memes

CG: M3M3S?

TG: yes memes TG: specifically the memes that erupted after the rant video

GC: OF COURS3 GC: H3 W4S V3RY 4NGRY 4BOUT THOS3 GC: WH1CH R3M1NDS M3, WHY D1D H3 M3SS4G3 YOU 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3 1F H3 W4S SO 4G41NST 1T B3FOR3?

TG: okay so remember the cute boy i was talking about like two days ago

GC: Y34H

TG: that was karkat

GC: … GC: … GC: …

TG: terezi?? TG: did i actually break you or do you just need a moment to process the information i just gave you TG: yo tz i need some confirmation that you did not just die from an overload of information TG: hit me up with your response TG: are you alive

GC: NO

TG: thank god youre not dead

GC: TH4TS WH4T TH3 GOV3RNM3NT W4NTS YOU TO TH1NK

TG: shit youre right TG: the government is doing all this nasty shit and now they are making it so we think we arent dead TG: how do we know the government isnt dead though

GC: SHHHHHH GC: TH3S3 4R3 TOP S3CR3T GOV3RNM3NT S3CR3TS YOUR3 SPR34D1NG 4BOUT GC: YOUV3 GOT TO B3 MOR3 D1SCR3T3

TG: discrete is my middle name

GC: NO, YOUR3 M1DDL3 N4M3 1S 3L1Z4B3TH

TG: shit you got me there

GC: 4ND YOU 4R3 4BOUT 4S D1SCR3T3 4S 4 TR41N CR4SH GC: YOU COULDNT BE D1SCR3T3 1F YOUR L1F3 D3P3ND3D ON 1T

TG: those are some harsh words

GC: 4R3 TH3Y WRONG?

TG: …

GC: 1 R3ST MY C4S3 GC: 4NYW4Y, W3 H4V3 GOTT3N 3NT1IR3LY OFF TR4CK FROM TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON 4T H4ND GC: R3G4RDL3SS OF HOW MUCH FUN W3 W3R3 H4V1NG W1TH TH1S S3CR3CY T4LK GC: WH4T 4BOUT K4RK4T M33T1NG YOU 1N R34L L1F3 CH4NG3D H1S M1ND 4BOUT M3SS4G1NG YOU?

TG: i honestly dont know for sure but he said something about me actually not seeming like a complete douchebag in real life

GC: M4K3S S3NS3 W1TH HOW FLUST3R3D 1 4M 4SSUM1NG YOU W3R3 GC: TH3 GUY W4S COMPL41N1NG HOW YOU W3R3 COMPL3T3LY MONOTON3 1N 4LL OF YOUR V1D3OS GC: 4ND TH3N H3 S33S YOU H4V3 4N 4CTU4L 3MOT1ON >:O GC: 3SP3C14LLY 4N 3MOT1ON WH3R3 YOU SHOW TH4T YOU L1K3 H1M GC: TH3 GUY 1S 4 SUCK3R FOR ROM3NC3 GC: NOV3LS 4ND MOV13S 4L1K3

TG: holy fuck TG: i cant believe i kind of flirted with a hopeless romantic

GC: 1 HOP3 YOU DONT TH1NK TH4T H3 W1LL D4T3 YOU JUST B3C4US3 OF TH4T

TG: of course not TG: im not some goddamned creeper TG: if he doesnt want to date me thats fine TG: it would be great to be friends with him at least TG: i had fun talking to him earlier

GC: D4V3

TG: what

GC: 1S TH4T 4N 3MOT1ON 1 SM3LL?

TG: oh my god tz we are not doing this for the hundredth time TG: we get it TG: i TG: the cool kid TG: has emotions like every other human being on the planet TG: its not such a surprise anymore

GC: YOU H4V3 4N 3N1R3 GRUBTUB3 CH4NN3L D3D1C4T3D TO R3V13W1NG TH1NGS 1N TH3 MOST 3MOT1ONL3SS W4Y POSS1BL3

TG: … TG: ok thats fair

GC: BUT 1M W4RN1NG YOU NOW 4BOUT K4RK4TS LOV3 OF ROMCOMS GC: H3 W1LL T4LK 4T L3NGTH 4BOUT TH3M 4ND TH3R3 1S ABSOLUT3LY NOTH1NG YOU C4N DO TO PR3V3NT TH4T FROM H4PP3N1NG GC: SO YOU M1GHT 4S W3LL G1V3 UP HOP3 NOW

TG: god damn TG: and here i was TG: woefully unprepared for the potential onslaught of romcoms TG: and then you come along TG: with all your future knowledge and shit like a some kind of seer or something TG: and allowed me to arm myself with the knowledge that karkat really fucking loves romcoms TG: thank you for you have done a great deed

GC: JUST W41T UNT1L H3 FORC3S YOU TO W4TCH TH3M

TG: is that a thing he does TG: aggressively shoves romcoms into his friends faces TG: how are yall still sane

GC: 4T SOM3 PO1NT YOU L34RN TO 4CC3PT YOUR F4T3 B3C4US3 1T 1S E4S13R 1N TH3 LONG RUN GC: 4ND T4K3S UP L3SS T1M3 GC: YOU C4N 4LSO JUST F4LL 4SL33P DUR1NG TH3 MOV13 GC: K4RK4T W1LL B3 TOO 1NTO TH3 MOV13 TO 4CTU4LLY C4R3

TG: good to know TG: i thank you for the sheer amount of wisdom you hold

GC: YOUR3 W3LCOM3 GC: OH 1 H4V3 TO GO NOW GC: 1 H4V3 4 D4T3 GC: >;]

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: wait hold on who are you going on a date with TG: shit TG: youre already gone TG: ill weasel the truth out of you sooner or later TG: or i guess youll just tell me TG: same difference really TG: or maybe not TG: whatever TG: case still stands that i will find out who you are going on a date with TG: i want details TG: except maybe not really TG: i would rather a brief overview of the date if that is possible TG: please dont go into weird tangents about how much you licked them TG: because that would be awkward and weird TG: anyway TG: later

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

You decide to take the remainder of the day to work on some more videos. After all, you know Terezi will probably tell you who she went on a date with sooner or later, and Karkat said he might message you in the future. You can't help but smile at that. He was fun to talk to, so it would be nice to hear from him again.

[vebging]

You think you love  but you dont no you cant Its not safe You think youre so in love all the affection you feel only comes from how you perceive it you love someone cause you see good in them something you can connect to, something that is relateable something that is shared something that is valueable something you wanna see in the world something you want to protect a quality or a behaviour You think you love no you dont no you cant its never gonna be safe You think you like your friends no you dont you dont like anyone You like how your boyfriend is soft You like how your best friend is intelligent You like how your female cousin is admireable You like how your other friend is creative You like how your other friend is.. list could go on but if you lie on it if you doubt hey dont you wanna focus on the bad instead? Your boyfriend is overly dependant and cant do anything by himself without guidance, gets insecure way to easily Your best friend catches on to late, sabotages himself with his own anxiety and then blames it on his diagnosis and you cant tell him cuz it only makes it worse, Your female cousin is half a monster and never actually wanted to take care of you anyway, only wanted to take care of something she could call her own, it was never personal, when you wouldnt be hers anymore she quickly turned on you & picked whatever suit her best at the time, which was your rapist, Do you wanna sleep over it? Wanna put it on re-set? Wanna replay it again? You might not mean it, but I do You might not think about them that way, but I do You cant let anyone to close You wanna be stable? Be stable in isolation

People are flawed dont bother trying to get them to get better dont bother trying to get them to see things from your point of view theyre not willing anyway You think you wanna be connected? Youre never gonna last that way, youre gonna let other people down, cause youre used to being disconnected you hide so quickly when people get to close, you think youve changed? Just try me You believe these people care about you? Dont make me laugh. Your boyfriend only is desperate to prove his own worth through gaining your love, he may be gentle to you time and time again, but take his core insecurity away and he’d see you as a burden just like anybody else did, Your best friend only loves you cause youve known each other for so long and he cant make new connections easily, he only chose you cuz you were the only one patient enough to stay by his side no matter how slow he was to open up, you think thats personal? He’ll drop you when he gets better. Its cause there werent many other people with that patience around. Your female cousin never wanted to protect you, she just wanted to feel shes not all alone, the only worth you had to her was not judging her for bad sides of her, she only tried not to hurt you with those sides cuz she feared youd leave her all alone otherwise, its not cuz she cared about you, its just cause and action, had she had full control over you, shed have never bothered trying for you The only safety in this world consists of figuring peoples core out and manipulating them into feeling what they think is “love” for you just figure out their script, read the lines, show your -empathy- and get them wanting you, “loving” you, but its never gonna be personal, nobody is gonna love you for you, only for how you make them feel about themselves Only for how well you ease their core anxiety how well you can control them without them knowing Youre not strong enough to make it on your own youre to spoiled to stop wanting the comfort relying on others, then throwing them away, Youre not strong enough to make it on your own cause making it on your own would mean having to stand in some sort of limelight, being in the middle, having to take in attention, having to be available, having to make yourself touchable, always take the least exposure, let only few people know youre there, hide behind someone until they are out of use dont depend on them for much more than that do everything yourself, dont let them control you, have the upper hand only use them for the shadow you can stand in they provide If you hate living that way so much If you hate seeing people in a negative life if you want to take the risk if you want to care youll get hurt again youll get hurt badly You think you like your friends you dont care what does care matter if you can cut it off? its not stable enough You think you love then you dont lets just leave it at dont, then You think you like people You like to focus on their flaws You like to turn from wanting to help to ceasing to care now theyre bothersome If this isnt the sort of life you bargained for why dont you just kill yourself? If you wanna bitch and moan about how living this way is terrible, why dont you just kill yourself? Im not imprisoning you Im protecting you The outside world isnt safe for you you cant ever win and you can never be in the limelight and enjoy it too youre scared, and for good reason theres bad things out there I just want to protect you I just want to protect you I just want to protect you I just want to protect you I just want to protect you I just want to protect you Im not the bad guy here Im not the bad guy here Im not the bad guy here You think im robbing you of your potential and your happiness? Im the only one that has ever cared about you in the entire world dont trust anybody but me Let them think you belong to them, tell them “I am yours” that always gets to them then when they no longer serve you stab them in the back you cant hold back, and you cant ever hesistate just pull the knife down theres no time to feel guilt you can cry about it later cry bout how they really meant the world to you cry all you want when youre all alone again on your own like it should be

why are you crying over people who dreamt of making you “all theirs” just how your dad tried to do it to you, too? Youre always so sentimental, I think its a waste of time Your “innocence” goes best unseen You wanna connect, to be around people? You say, its the safest when youre surrounded by people that mean well for you? Well, arent you just flipping the script on me? Suddenly trying to tell me that going where the sun shines is safer than depending on the darkness you can remain unseen in? That the bad things only ever truly happen where nobody can keep track of? That its the safest to be in the limelight? That were people gather its the safest? You wanna tell me everything ive known is wrong? You wanna try asking your dad for some attention then? You wanna ask your mom to be there for you properly then? You wanna ask your family to stop accusing you of being a liar then, without even having talked to you about any of these things, once? You wanna tell me, that you wanna ask your female cousin for help again after she took your rapists side? After the only person you ever thought you could in any capacity depend on, stabbed you in the back bcz she couldnt get you to be -hers- again? If people wanted for you not to aim for their weak spots they should have made it safe for you to reveal yours If people didnt want to get hurt by you they should have been trustworthy If people want to tell you you deserve it watch them change their opinion if you hurt them in any capacity suddenly thats all your fault but if it happens to you oh its your fault too! You wanna trip on peoples hypocritical reasoning so badly, mh You wanna trust people being kind to you but if youre kind back to much it might become a habit thats hard to break always stay one foot out always leave before youre left or push people into leaving first you cant be seen this heartfelt you wanna be independant? youre lying to yourself cause the only reason youre managing to bear intimacy is when youre in an dependency so you have a reason not to let me convince you to leave

cause you dont want to be alone you like hiding behind someone you like the excuse of it you like it you like being weak cause if you were strong youd have to be alone and you dont want that so you stay weak so you cant just give into me and stay all alone youre keeping yourself down cause you dont want to listen to me youre scared that if you let yourself succed in life youll no longer need others around you and then youll give into me and listen to me and repulse them and then youll be just as isolated  youll flee into work, youll only flee into work so you keep yourself small so you dont have to be alone do you need me?  do you need me to go? do you want to outgrow me? you cant outgrow me im the only one you truly have ill still be with you when nobody else is so what do you need them for?

you want me to trust you? you? yeah, thanks no

you dont need others you dont truly need to hide behind them you need to use them to get fully in control of your life you can do that now then youll abandon them then when youre secure and safe youll abandon them lets see how much you really “love” them once you no longer have a use for them, that would hurt your boyfriend so much mhh? maybe thats all he was good for anyway funny

so what, you gonna sabotage your own school progress so you can stay in an relationship with your boyfriend? Force yourself to need others, so you can stay in connection so you dont have to listen to mean mean me telling you its better just to depend on yourself? you were weak then when you were still a child, but youre not a child now, you can take charge of your life, you can be totally in control of it, just like you want, you could be a great success, youre just to scared to be youre scared to no longer need others cause you know ill win and youll be all alone cuz of it

you hide behind excuses because deep down you dont wanna get better you only wanna get better enough as to not burden others but you dont want to actually get good cuz if you did, youd be to strong to need them and if you dont need them, youd have no reasons to resist what im telling you about the people you love, right? you dont want that to be your life lonely on your own you dont wanna succeed in life and do good for yourself just to find you lost the feeling that made you want to share it with others you will never succeed in life unless you make up with me so stop trying to push me away stop trying to tell me im all wrong or all bad stop trying to ignore your own pain just so you can pretend youve completely healed

you just keep pretending youre scared of stuff like doing your drivers license making appointments you just keep pretending youre actually scared you always fought when you had to you can do it for others you only cant do it for yourself cuz the more you become independant in those ways the less you need others the less of a reason do you have not to listen to me the more you fear ending up all alone so if you dont want to make a decision between either living a dependant life, or living a highly successful independant but lonely life, you better start actually accepting me or making up to me or actually winning me for your side but suppressing me is NOT going to cut it if you want to make this a fight, we can fight either you or I will win but neither of us is going to be really happy with that so prove to me that these people are safe prove it to me prove to me that you do not have to choose between yourself and others

[ravings-running-rampant-blog]

Wtf m8....

So one thing i know i could talk for days about is people. I watch more then i ever chose to interact. I dont know if it was fear of not fitting in or knowing i dont fit in and hoping desperately to be able to relate anyways. Recently ive felt a strong desire to write something that will outlast and outlive my life on this planet. Ive been trying to figure out what would still be usefull in terms of knowledge i can pass on and ive only come to one conclusion, my experience. After im no longer a part of this physical world i can still share my mind with many others. Ive gone through some rough shit to get to where i am today and id like to preface this by saying im still a work in progress and hope it stays that way.... Throughout the entirety of my life one thing has remained true, i wake up and i try each day to be better then i was the previous day. No matter how big or small, i wasnt satisfied till i thought i was doing something to better myself. Hindsight 20/20 i can honestly say that even though the path was treacherous i wouldnt have done things differently, i like where my head is and i like whats ahead of me. That doesnt mean it didnt start out rocky. Before the age of 5 id known the loss of a father figure and id lost close relatives as well. Id seen my mom deal with life-changing events, i got to watch how she coped with it all and i got to understand growing up in the 90s without a positive male rolemodel. I had a abusive childhood, no real dad so i kept trying to find something i could learn from and someone to look up to. Everywhere i looked i saw deadbeat dads... my own father i cant even be sure is my father cuz he was on too many drugs to impregnate my mom, she was sleeping with a sperm donor at the time. Honestly the man i call dad is who i believe to be my dad....weve got too many things in common. Ive got too damn many of his bad habits i need to break and its wierd but ya know when you wear a hat on your head long enough it smells like you? My hat and my dads hats smell the same, he smells like me. He wasnt much of a dad to begin with but he was definitely my dad... he drank excessively, smoked way too much weed, did one too many lines of blow and smoked cigarettes like a chimney. He used to recycle his own shells, for target practice, so he had a smell of gun cleaner and lubricants attached to him no matter where ya found him but if he wasnt workin then youd find him at the billiards hall playin pool or back home sleepin. He owned an old airstream trailer that he had renovated and added onto, he had two lots to begin with, one was an enclosed workshop mainly for his carpentry and the other was the trailer and addons. I remember when i was still very young and we would take trips in the old chevy from Vancouver to squamish and back. I remember how i would curl up between my mom and dad and sleep the whole trip, i remember when that changed and my father became the one who looked at me as a waste of his time too.... It was progressive, it wasnt like anything happened quickly, but it was noticeable. One week hed be excited and mostly sober, hed have something for us to do and then one week id be forgotten...id have to get to the house on my own because he forgot where he was picking me up. The less i saw of him the easier it became. I could forget i even had a dad, i would forget too.... by the time i was two years old my mom had nearly gotten herself and me on our feet without dad. Got a place for the two of us and liked her job, blah blah blah. I was an independent individual even at that age. Ask my mom and she will tell you stories of my intelligence even at a young age. She will tell you how i knew 100 words at the age of 1, how i used to recite everything i heard as i fell asleep, How when she opened the fridge id start listing everything i could see and knew the name of. I dont believe it....it could be possible but likely? I leave my momma to her stories, all mommas got em. After we moved into our new second floor appt things calmed a little, until the car accident, it changed everything for everyone. My mom was in the back passenger side i was up front and my grandma was driving, it was supposed to be bday dinner for me to clelebrate with my family.. i was supposed to be turning 4 that year. We collided head on with an oncoming vehicle, they drove on the wrong side of the highway so there was no avoiding it. After the initial impact we were battered on all the remaining sides by 4 other vehicles and found out that we couldnt move. The firefighters had to use the jaws of life to peel the roof off just to get everyone out safely. My mom suffered 12 fractures on her left side which was damn near crushed and my grandma died in a coma six months after the accident. I remember my moms tears, i remember grammas passing was right after my mom came to see her in the icu. My mom had 6 months of PT and when she could move again she went to see her mom and tell her its ok and that she was safe. I was mute for 6 months while i stayed with my dad, said nothing. I still feel for that little kid, if i could remind him life isnt always comfortable i would. While my mother was staying at the hospital i was stuck at my dads and i hated it. I hated feeling like it was my fault, i hated how he didnt know how to talk to me or even check on me at all. I did more for him then he really did for me, i fed myself and cleaned up after myself. I wanted him to be my dad, i wanted to be taught how to be a better man. I didnt wanna have to run to my mom to get all those questions answered...moms and dads do shit differently, different timing and scheduling. A moms idea of whats best for a boy to learn while becoming a man is different then what dad thinks and i was lacking alot of the male side of things. When i needed a role model it was already too late, i needed alot of guiding. I needed someone who would have been able to call me on my shit and make it difficult for me to get away with whatever i wanted. By the time i was old enough to understand that sometimes we grow up too fast most of what still made me innocent was no longer important to me. I had just uprooted my life to move half way across a country to live with a family i barely know and to start over in a place we would be able to get the help my mom really wanted. I felt out of place and i truly havent felt belonging since we landed on july 16th 2001... turns out even tho they call themselves family they are just related acquaintances.... we were closer before moving and when we actually needed help from them well it was always conditional and instead of handling it like family everyone dealt with it like their opinion matters most. We dont talk anymore, i havent heard from them in at least ten years. Its always just been me and my mom on our own and instead of turning that into what it could have been we caught ourselves up in what the 'Right' thing to do or the best thing to was and we were wingin it. Its hard always knowing what the best or smartest choices are but its not hard to figure out which choices will benefit you short-term/long-term. In all honesty we came at a time when things were changing worldwide, we saw the worst things bringing out the best and worst of everyone. I remember walking into my private school on 9/11 and being utterly confused at the importance of those buildings and why this was even on tv let alone holding up everyone from daily curriculum. I remember the way everyone kinda huddled together, as if the proximity to more people would make em stronger. Like if we shared in this moment we could instantly bind our fears and strengthen our resolve, together. It actually worked for a little while too but the thing about fear is that its always there somewhere, lurking. We became bound as one nation, bound by an act committed against not who we are but also what we stand for. Bound by such as weve never seen, my heart goes out to all affected and those still suffering, god bless you. 9/11 was trying to undo everything this country stands for and everything that makes america great, 9/11 was fed to the dissolutioned masses as a way to unite the people under a single banner. We needed a cause and used it to fuel a fire that spread fast and far. We were in need of a leader whos decisions were for the betterment of our country, we got a daddys boy playing whitehouse instead. I dont have many nice things to say about the way this country was and is run nor do i have anything bad to say about it either but one things for damn sure.... i think everything is coming to a head.....an ugly ass greygreen mess of a whitehead ready to pop and spew its poison deeper into the world as we know it. I think things have been leading towards an upheaval of some sort, a revolt of some kind, for at least ten years now.... we live in a pocket of reality where its easier to buy and own a gun then it is to keep food in your family's bellies. We live in a country whos figurehead is a man made famous by broadcast television and whos admittedly a womanizer and racist..... immigrants are what made this country and now these people we made it so easy to accommodate for have run out of their own usefulness. I cant possibly be the only person whos eyes are open enough to see the truth, im not the only one who is experiencing things like this am i? Now i understand that because im not born here you may think my opinion means less and i understand that if i have a problem i can just go back to canada but what if i dont want to? What if im so far from what i know that everything has started to look to me like this shit is just the new normal? Anyone else seeing the problem there???? I guess our idea of what is and isnt normal is so skewed now everything just seems....caddywompus... its gotta be easier to ignore what they feed you when it looks like something your used to eating.... Every day is designed to break down our barriers and make us search outside ourselves, we are simultaneously pushed into finding someone to use and sacrificing them for our own personal benefit.... we meet new people each day and somehow we understand that these people are supposed to mean nothing, they are replaceable...somewhere along the line the message got skewed tho cuz not a single person alive right now is replaceable and everybody has meaning to someone. This country will chew ya up and spit you right on out if ya aint watchin.... at the worst of times life keeps growing like a tumor and at the best of times its flooding the halls with the scent of fresh cut flowers. Am i the only one who can see just how convoluted the future is going to be? Almost like the farther along we go in this pregnancy, the more likely the kids gunna pop out with a vestigial tail or some shit. This is america, im learning you either embrace the change or get thrown out with the rest of the trash. Till next time. =)

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Back to the Future, and Be Like: brangalia Folow prokopetz experience bizarre malfunctions wih such overwhelming frequency isnt just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, its because the Federaion as a cuture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed ful of beyond-cutting-edge bech they don't realy understand Endlessly trustraing t you have to fight them, because they can puil an efectively unlimited number of bulshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses but they're as lkely as not to give themseves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie n the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core maunctions and ncidents? That doesn't actualy happen to anyone etse, "S·leray just Federaoon vesses nat go 0" the rats lke that And they do so on a fairty regular basis So to everyone else in the galaxy all humans are basically Doc Brown prokopetz Alens who have seen the Back to the Future movies ineraly dont realise that Doc Brown is meant so be funny They're just ike yes, mat is exactly what a human sclentists are like in my experience" THE ONLY REASON SOOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE 1S BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE E ROOM AND RAN AWAY vulcan science academy why do you need another warp core humans we're going to plug two of them together and see we go twice as sa last time we gave you a warp core you threw mto a sun to see the sun humans hahaha yeah s IT EXPLODED humans it exploded twice as fast I love this. Especially because of how wel plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much bemer against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with mitary tactics is nigh-impossble, but beating them with wacky supersclence shenanigans works as long as they're unique wacky Yeah, 1 love this Reminds me of the thing I wrote a whle back about Humans in high fantasy realms- they're basically Team Fuck it Hold My Beer I Got This mpulsve, passionate to a faut, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironicalty creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their "cooler heads take action in monns or weeks All their great heroes af the past were impossbly rash by galactic standards Humans Just Go With It, which is ther great flaw but also their greatest strength roachpatiol Ingons: okay we dont get vulcan science academy get what ingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stutfy prisses but you're also tougher stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way ingons: hy do you let them run your federation vulcan science academy look vulcan soence academy this a species where you give them two warp cores they don't do experiments on one and save the other for if the frst one up vulcan sdence academy this a species where if you give them two warp cores, mey wil ask for a third one, immediabely plug all three into each other Dinch a hole into an alternate unverse where humans subscribe to even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in R because theyre offended by that, steal meir warp cores, plug those together, punch ther way back here, then try to burn a nearby sun into a torus because that was wha neir initial scientric experment was for and they dien't want to waste a trip ucan science academy: they cid that last week we have the weite-up right here. it's getting published in about six hundred scientific jounals across two hundred aiterent discipines because of how many estabished theories their dculous Ittle expednon has just caled into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actuaily knows how vulcan science academy s i why we ler mem do whatever the hee mey ingons:.can we be a part of your federation Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the Trst human warp drive thing in the you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 amost never broke that imtated O'Bren to and back, sure almost none of the truly weird shit that befel Voyager and all the starships Enterprise what was the dest malfunction D89 ever had? re senior staf geting rapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Basr, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buiter into the stations core memory and hope everything would work out somehow which is a bt like swapping your compuner's hard drive out for a memory card from a Play Station 2 and expecing to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your you know what I'm not done with this post let's talk about the Pegasus the USS Fuckng Pegasus, testoed for tme first Stameet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in olation of a treaty wh the Romulans they're playing cabchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century and what do the do? do they decide to duplicane a Romulan cloaking device precisely just see if hey can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, whle were at it, while we're building our very first one af these mings just to find out r this s possibie, ers see we can make mis thing phase us out ofnormal space so we can fy through planets wnile we're invisible but wihy said the one Vulcan in the room because that would fucking rule said the humans, high-tving each other Red Bul mere must be like twenty dfferent counseling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone waks in and starts up with a story ke "our assignment was o repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate buit a chronometric- tux toaster that toasts bread aer yourve eaten it MacGuyver" is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horor belevision during orientation at a human coliege, vulcans are presented with a ist of what is the word tuck for," the innocent young vulcans want to know. "surely mere are more logical intensty moditiers yeah, yourd think so. say the weary jaded vulcan professors. "youd real)y here is a phrase in vulcan for the particular moment you understand what he This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance The Borg can adapt to the brilant miltary strategies of the Romulan Star Empre·me Kingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess ofthe The Borg werent prepared for a starship captain to kare them into his 50% nor detectve holo-novel 뉘 d then machine gun them to death with a weapon made of hard light

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Back to the Future, and Be Like: brangalia Folow prokopetz experience bizarre malfunctions wih such overwhelming frequency isnt just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, its because the Federaion as a cuture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed ful of beyond-cutting-edge bech they don't realy understand Endlessly trustraing t you have to fight them, because they can puil an efectively unlimited number of bulshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses but they're as lkely as not to give themseves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie n the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core maunctions and ncidents? That doesn't actualy happen to anyone etse, "S·leray just Federaoon vesses nat go 0" the rats lke that And they do so on a fairty regular basis So to everyone else in the galaxy all humans are basically Doc Brown prokopetz Alens who have seen the Back to the Future movies ineraly dont realise that Doc Brown is meant so be funny They're just ike yes, mat is exactly what a human sclentists are like in my experience" THE ONLY REASON SOOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE 1S BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE E ROOM AND RAN AWAY vulcan science academy why do you need another warp core humans we're going to plug two of them together and see we go twice as sa last time we gave you a warp core you threw mto a sun to see the sun humans hahaha yeah s IT EXPLODED humans it exploded twice as fast I love this. Especially because of how wel plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much bemer against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with mitary tactics is nigh-impossble, but beating them with wacky supersclence shenanigans works as long as they're unique wacky Yeah, 1 love this Reminds me of the thing I wrote a whle back about Humans in high fantasy realms- they're basically Team Fuck it Hold My Beer I Got This mpulsve, passionate to a faut, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironicalty creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their "cooler heads take action in monns or weeks All their great heroes af the past were impossbly rash by galactic standards Humans Just Go With It, which is ther great flaw but also their greatest strength roachpatiol Ingons: okay we dont get vulcan science academy get what ingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stutfy prisses but you're also tougher stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way ingons: hy do you let them run your federation vulcan science academy look vulcan soence academy this a species where you give them two warp cores they don't do experiments on one and save the other for if the frst one up vulcan sdence academy this a species where if you give them two warp cores, mey wil ask for a third one, immediabely plug all three into each other Dinch a hole into an alternate unverse where humans subscribe to even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in R because theyre offended by that, steal meir warp cores, plug those together, punch ther way back here, then try to burn a nearby sun into a torus because that was wha neir initial scientric experment was for and they dien't want to waste a trip ucan science academy: they cid that last week we have the weite-up right here. it's getting published in about six hundred scientific jounals across two hundred aiterent discipines because of how many estabished theories their dculous Ittle expednon has just caled into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actuaily knows how vulcan science academy s i why we ler mem do whatever the hee mey ingons:.can we be a part of your federation Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the Trst human warp drive thing in the you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 amost never broke that imtated O'Bren to and back, sure almost none of the truly weird shit that befel Voyager and all the starships Enterprise what was the dest malfunction D89 ever had? re senior staf geting rapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Basr, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buiter into the stations core memory and hope everything would work out somehow which is a bt like swapping your compuner's hard drive out for a memory card from a Play Station 2 and expecing to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your you know what I'm not done with this post let's talk about the Pegasus the USS Fuckng Pegasus, testoed for tme first Stameet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in olation of a treaty wh the Romulans they're playing cabchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century and what do the do? do they decide to duplicane a Romulan cloaking device precisely just see if hey can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, whle were at it, while we're building our very first one af these mings just to find out r this s possibie, ers see we can make mis thing phase us out ofnormal space so we can fy through planets wnile we're invisible but wihy said the one Vulcan in the room because that would fucking rule said the humans, high-tving each other Red Bul mere must be like twenty dfferent counseling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone waks in and starts up with a story ke "our assignment was o repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate buit a chronometric- tux toaster that toasts bread aer yourve eaten it MacGuyver" is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horor belevision during orientation at a human coliege, vulcans are presented with a ist of what is the word tuck for," the innocent young vulcans want to know. "surely mere are more logical intensty moditiers yeah, yourd think so. say the weary jaded vulcan professors. "youd real)y here is a phrase in vulcan for the particular moment you understand what he This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance The Borg can adapt to the brilant miltary strategies of the Romulan Star Empre·me Kingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess ofthe The Borg werent prepared for a starship captain to kare them into his 50% nor detectve holo-novel 뉘 d then machine gun them to death with a weapon made of hard light