#trying not to have a panic attack
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Update Sept. 09 2024
There's a pretty solid chance my electricity is going to be shut off Monday.
I really don't know what to do.
There was supposed to be good news by now but stupid little complications keep coming up, between employee number not working and preventing pay from working, and DSS once again not releasing the welfare funds we were supposed to get this week.
If I disappear after Monday, that's why. I'm almost two hundred dollars short because the cost of electricity is so much higher this time of year (our bill literally went from 80 one month to almost 250 the next month).
If anyone is able to/wants to help, my ko-fi account is here, and once the employee number bullshit gets sorted out I'd be able to send the money straight back.
I don't expect anyone to be able to. Just reaching out since I'm out of options.
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You know your health is in a bad spot when you have to take Xanax because you let yourself think about it.
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I fucking hate customers
#trying not to have a panic attack#i was ringing up a lady and she grabbed a bottle of body mist by the lid#and it fell and spilled a bit#i asked if she still wanted to buy it and she’s like ‘no you idiot wtf’#like shit bitch i was just checking#sometimes people do still want it#don’t get mad at me for your fuckup and just trying to be nice
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i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"
#and they try to drag other people down with them#BUDDY I AM NOT USEFUL IF I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK#vicarious trauma is not like. a useful form of solidarity. in my opinion#personal
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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Hands down the best superbat dynamic is when Bruce is going through an internal hell trying to justify his relationship with Clark despite the potential consequences it could have on his Mission, while in the meantime Clark’s out there living his best life wondering what Bruce is so pressed about
#Clark’s like babe lighten up we’re having a romantic dinner!#and Bruce is sweating and trying not to have a panic attack because holy shit what if Gotham needs him while he’s eating on his entree#bruce you’re allowed to have nice things#HA in his dreams#not really that man has chronic nightmares#his last dream was in 1997#and he was high as a kite so it doesn’t really count#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfamily headcannons#Clark Kent#Superman#clark kent loves bruce wayne#clark kent x bruce wayne#clark x bruce#superbat#batman x superman#superbat supremacy
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Just found out my older cousin who I was always jealous of had oppertunities years ago that I always wanted to do.
It just makes me more jealous of her.
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Practicing the queen🫶 lowkey love the red death. Continue traumatising our favourite characters one exploding corpse at a time 🫶🫶🫶🫶
#httyd#how to train your dragon#red death#red death httyd#red death dragon#dragon sketches#teheeheteheteh#look at her#I love her so much#art study#imagine training a red death#imagine HICCUP trying to train a red death#and having a panic attack flash back mid way through#ahahahaha#what a loser with life long trauma associated with this dragon#that’s why I’m gonna keep drawing it#and making it do silly peace signs#seriously one of my favourite sketches ever#red death doing a peace sign#art#my artwork#artist#original art#digital art#artwork#artists on tumblr#my art#hiccup httyd#httyd hiccup#hiccup
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Saying Sorry Will Never Be Enough
Feeling a bit angsty so I had this idea.
Danny is dating one of the Bats/Birds, and everything is going great, amazing even! They know each other secrets (from powers to everything etc), they have a wonderful place to live (even if its in Gotham), Danny is in college on the way to becoming a space engineer (and he does side jobs for unrestful ghosts), he's actually getting sleep again since leaving Amity Park, gets along with their friends and family (those who Danny or his partner still talk to, up to the writer), there is even talk about marriage and perhaps adoption/kids in the future between Danny and the Bat/Bird he's dating!
Everything is setting up for a good life in his future, something Danny didn't think could have after his accident. He was happy finally, and currently packing up his old apartment because he's moving in with his partner in a few days.
So he felt like his core was being pulled out of him when he opens his apartment door one day receiving a knock to find his parents, who had hadn't seen since they kicked him out of the house after coming clean about being Phantom (their words of anger and denial that their son was 'dead' and now a monster, still hurt)
Sure they didn't attack him or proclaim he's dead but still their last words and anger HURT.
Danny didn't give them a chance to open their mouths, both looking nervous and guilty, before he slams the door close and turns invisible, grabs his phone, and fly's out of his apartment to his partner's place in a panic attack.
His partner, isn't happy.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Who Danny is dating is up to the writer/reader#Danny is happy only to feel dread when he sees his parents at his front door#Jack and Maddie have come to try to make amends#does it work? idk again leaving it open for people to play with#they didn't attack him after finding out he's Phantom or proclaim him dead but they said some nasty stuff#Danny booked it out of Amity after that though not wanting to risk it#Danny's partner isnt happy to find their boyfriend in a panic attack after getting a sos text#its been a few years since he and his parents have seen each other#Danny and his partner relationship with their own families/friends are once again left open for the writer/reader to play with#Is Danny still friends with Sam and Tucker? Or have they grown apart after Danny left? Was Sam upset he 'abandoned' Amity Park/her?#Was Tucker upset too? Idk again leaving it up to anything#Is he still in contact with Jazz? Or has she been pushing him to try to talk with their parents only it keeps rubbing Danny wrong#IDK I felt angsty today and wanna make some people join me in my sad corner. Join me. Join me. Join meeeeeeeeeee -pats seat next to me-
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ok but just imagine a post canon fic where glinda is so fucking traumatized by the events of part two that just the sight of elphie is actually a huge fucking trigger for her so when elphie finally shows back up and reveals everything was a lie, that she didn't actually die, despite desperately wanting nothing more than to hug her glinda literally can't - she falls apart the moment she even tries
#elphie keeps trying to reach out and reconcile but glinda literally cant be in the same room as her without having a panic attack#actually cant fathom a happy reunion so this is what my brain comes up with instead🫠#wicked#gelphie#thoughts
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Never really fit back in
Part 2 Daniel or Danyal or Danny?
previous
Danyal took a deep breath. There was only one person who could bring him to his brother. One person who could get him into the Wayne household. Vlad Masters, his godfather, though things were getting better with Vlad it was still awkward. He doubted he'd ever fully trust him but he was the only adult around who knew what he was and at least for right now wasn't trying to kill him for it. Plus he had access to the Wayne Galas and as his heir Danny did too.
"Daniel" Vlad smiled at him and offered him a seat at his table. "I was quite surprised when you asked to have a meeting with me" Danyal took a seat as dinner was served to them. He hesitated before speaking. Danny had been trying to prepare what to say to Vlad all day but now he was here, his mind went blank.
"I-" He paused as he pursed his lips before stealing his nerves once again. "I'd like to take up your offer of being your heir." Vlad stopped moving for a second as his smile faltered. he stared at Daniel. The silence was deafening. Danyal continued or well rambled after an uncomfortably long few minutes of silence. "The Fenton household hasn't felt safe in.. Well it's never been safe but ever since my accident it's just gotten worse. The house is always attacking me, even though my parents- Even though Maddie and Jack know I'm Phantom now that hasn't stopped them- actually I think they've just been ignoring me. And-"
"Daniel,"
"Since Jazz left for college, I've only really had Sam and Tucker but-"
"Daniel"
"They're now busy preparing for their own futures and all that-"
"Daniel!" Vlad spoke a little louder silencing Danny again then sighed. "I will gladly take you in, Daniel. It's the least I can do for you" Danyal relaxed a bit, though not too much. Vlad might be better now but he's still a power hungry fruitloop. Danny still had to be careful but at least Vlad's manor wasn't actively trying to destroy him. At least Vlad acknowledged his existence. And so Danny's new life began.
A few new changes happened after he started to live with Vlad. One he changed his legal name to Danyal (it just felt more real), he and Vlad still argue over changing his last name over to Masters but Danny's not ready for that. Danny had to start taking etiquette classes from both Dorothy and Vlad, Vlad had gotten him plenty of suits and other more comfortable clothes, and Danny had full access to his lab. Though Danny didn't go down there often, it gave him the creeps in a bad way. Most labs did at this point. Instead he had taken over a large room and had a work desk where he tinkered on what ever her felt like tinkering on, or schoolwork, or the loads of paper work he had to do for the Infinite Realms. It was kind of nice having Vlad help with that though at least someone could explain what half of it meant and wasn't as secretive as Clockwork.
Four months passed and things were going great actually. Things were finally starting to feel alright again, maybe this was the best decision. Eventually Danny did tell Vlad about being Damian's brother only because he would have to confront Damian at the Wayne Christmas gala.
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Damian just like his other siblings dreaded the galas but they were important. It was important to keep building relationships with the public and the rich. It was important to keep a mask on and play the very rich found family of Brucie Wayne. It was important to keep their night life out of the picture.
Damian got ready with his siblings as usual. He listened and complained with them about the Gala as Jason laughed and praised being "dead". At least being the youngest meant he wasn't as bothered by the guests as the rest of his siblings were. All he had to do was introduce himself to the guests, have his picture taken a thousand times and lurk around the party. A boring night that would be much better spent on patrol. Though he was just has confident that the others could Patrol Gotham without them as his father.
The gala was about normal, he greeted guests with his father as Tim went out to do some networking. Dick playing as his usual self, Cass lurking around, Steph tormenting people by being her eccentric self, and Duke wandering around and making small talk. The night was normal till Masters arrived.
By that point Damian had broken off from his father and went to see and spend time with his siblings. Though something felt off after about a half hour. Damian went to report this to his father only to find him still speaking with Masters who had a boy with him. He paid no mind to him. "Father there's-" Damian paused then looked at the boy standing next to Masters who was smiling at him.
Danyal. That was Danyal. That was Danyal. That was Danyal.
Damian just stared at Danny with a look of horror that his father caught quickly. Before Bruce could pull Damian away he heard his brother speak.
"Hello, Damian. It's nice to see you again"
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Bruce had never seen his son like that before. He had never seen that look on his son's face before. Something had to be wrong he just didn't know what yet. Bruce excused both himself and Damian from the Masters and brought Damian over to the others. He looked at his son who looked both terrified and shell shocked. Bruce spoke softly.
"Damian, are you alright chum?"
Damian started to hyperventilate and mumble in Arabic. Damian normally spoke in Arabic when upset but this was very clearly different. Bruce brought Damian to his room, not because he was in trouble but because he was freaking out and needed some quiet. That night for the first time Damian openly cried in front of Bruce. That night for the first time Damian held onto Bruce like his life depended on it and sobbed. That night for the first time Damian sobbed into his father.
Bruce didn't know what the Masters did to his son but they won't get away with it. That he swore. He'll have Tim and Barbara look into them later for now his son needs him.
Next
#dc x dp#danny phantom#dcu#bruce wayne#damian wayne#demon twins au#vlad plasmius#redeemed-ish Vlad#he is still doing this to have a little more power in the realms but rn he's more helpful than not so whatever#good dad bruce wayne#protective dad Bruce Wayne#trying to portray Danny struggling with who he is by constantly switching up his name. hopefully that made sense or could be picked up on?#danny gave Damian a panic attack:)#danny probably also will have a panic attack after realizing he gae his brother a panic attack :)))#Never Really Fit Back In
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I've recently seen again a post talking about the Sableye and Dusknoir's relationship so i'd like to put my two cents in the discussion, for I love screaming into the void about PMD. (this isnt meant to discourage any other interpretations btw this is just my take on theirs and Dusknoir's relationship, bc I think they're very fun characters and I am very glad the game actually gives these minions a bit of relevance in se5).
Tbh I don't buy that Dusknoir treats the Sableye nicely, at least not out of kindness. I don't think he's a tyrant or inexplicably mean, of course, and I think his minions ADORE him, but i also believe that doesn't mean he's nice to them, sth that i consider meaningful for their character arcs.
Throughout the entire game he's exclusively giving them orders, in se5 he concocts a plan that involves thrashing them MULTIPLE times (he's lucky Grovyle isn't one to try and kill enemies in battle ig), and the cherry on top is that the first time we see him being fully genuine he does this:
(yes, he is in turmoil in here, but there's not a single thing implying that 1. this is an unusual response towards the sablye, 2. dusknoir feels bad for it at some point or is surprised at himself, 3. this has any impact in the sableye at all. You can argue these reactions happen off screen and we don't see them, they don't happen bc they have pressing matters to attend to or they happen after they return to life, and that's perfectly valid, but i'm sticking with what the game shows us, here.)
I must say, though, the fact that the Sableye, despite having been almost mindless pokémon up to now, STAND UP TO AND ATTACK Primal Dialga for their boss and even try to look after him despite him ordering them to check on Grovyle and Celebi first is SO important to me. they are goons to the bone and they love that scheming ghost so much.
My own view is that Dusknoir is generally polite to them (you wouldn't randomly break your own revolver or weapon without any reason, would you?), but is quicker to get mean with them than with people he doesn't know or he is seeking to manipulate. He doesn't care about their behaviour as long as they get the job done, which is why I think the anime thing of the Sableye climbing onto his shoulder isn't that remarkable, rather it's a very cute moment, one that is showing how they've been working together for long and how their size difference affects their interactions, but it is not necessarily conveying an affectionate bond (this is a bit random, but it reminds me of Disney's Jafar with Iago lmao. throw your pet sableye at your enemies so they mock them and then return to your shoulder). Additionally, Dusknoir letting the Sableye onto his shoulder is probably as close as we are gonna get to a villain turning around in his chair while petting a cat in PMD lol.
[this isn't meant to be a one-to-one comparison, it's just a detail i find cute and shows that this gesture can have multiple interpretations, with none being the only right one]
Leaving that aside, I hesitate to claim Dusknoir trusts his Sableye as allies, as Grovyle makes a point in the main story of how the Sableye (your Sableye, he says, as if objectifying them; not friends, but tools, weapons at Dusknoir's disposal) are lacking compared to the way hero/partner/grovyle support one another (power of friendship and hidden information babyyyy). The Sableye are used to Dusknoir's way of doing things, though, I'm sure. They know what happens when he's displeased, after all.
I think, most of all, the Sableye are meant to look disposable: they are 6 identical pokémon that almost act like a hivemind, and we are not supposed to think at all about how we may hurt them in battle any more than we do with the angry Manectric pack or random dungeon pokémon. This, I believe, is why the game has them stand up against Dialga and gives them unique dialogue at the end of se5. They're meant to show their inner shine, just as Dusknoir managed to do. They suddenly gain an individuality they had never shown while they were working to maintain the dark future.
Where they abandoned Dusknoir in the Old Ruins, now Grovyle has motivated them to look for their dignity and fight for a better world, and that starts with protecting their leader from Primal Dialga's rampage, and supporting his new objective and allies in their quest to save the future. In their own small way, they've also grown as characters throughout SE5.
I believe that, overall, Dusknoir saw the Sableye as tools, but thanks to their growth and clear care for him, there's a possibility he might start to see them (and by extension other pokémon) in a more genuine, less pragmatic / objectifying way in the future. Now that Dusknoir has the chance to live a fulfilling life, he may learn to care for others without surrounding himself by so many walls. If anything, I think their future is quite bright. Not that the Sableye would mind if he still thrashed them around, though lol, they're clearly not bothered much by it (special episode 0 had a great depiction of the sableye imo, you can check that romhack if you haven't yet).
In conclusion, look at these little guys who adore their can-get-mean-but-is-mostly-polite boss and probably have a body count but now are good, they're so cute:
#tldr: i think dusknoir not being nice and them being cowards is what makes their se5 actions more significant. they both have an arc#this is all surface level analysis i know but thats how i read them#i didnt bother to talk about grov saying the sableye do 'all the dirty work' around the future bc i didnt know where to put it but. uh.#add that to the prepared execution room and i think these guys have killed people lmao#i must reiterate this isnt throwing shade to any headcanons this is just what i got from the game. people are free to have fun.#also. dusknoir in the middle of his se5 panic attack and existential crisis: get the fuck out of my way this is my moment#HE GETS OUT OF HIS CRISIS ANIMATION SO FAST TOO. HE REALLY SAYS 'not now sweaty. daddy's having some him time' and slaps them#so he can go back to his drama queen pose#hes so awesome. gay toxic uncle behavior#his nemesis is in agony the entire time while this happens. se5 is truly peak fiction#the height difference is so funny too#like no wonder dusknoir didnt have any issue trying to kill the mcs. the sableye are tinier than some starter options ewionfwojfewo#highly throwable imps they are#him beign a bit jerk and him letting the sableye climb him up to give him rocks like in the anime special are not mutually exclusive. to me#this is pokemon. these magic creatures constantly beat up each other#the sableye get climbing privileges if they are good boys and it is useful to give him what he's looking for. and also it's very cute#this was gonna be just a textpost but then it got long and i strted looking for game moments that seemed relevant to the sableye oops#i like to babble about this game and dusknoir especially#sableye#dusknoir#pmd2#'scribz isnt it cringe to write 500 words retelling the events of a children's game' look if 90% of eos video essays can do it then so can#this is the closest thing my lacking understanding can manage to a meta/analysis post ig
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Brianna Ghey was 16.
Nex Benedict was 16.
Pauly Likens was 14.
River Goddard was 17.
Tayy Dior Thomas was 17.
And I'm sure you'd all be perfectly content to forget about murdered children.
#repitition#brianna ghey#nex benedict#pauly likens#tayy dior thomas#river goddard#its almost midnight and im up trying not to have a panic attack :)
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I know this is ostensibly a gag scene poking fun at Kakashi's humiliation at being asked to read his smut out loud for The Mission, but CONSIDER:
Catastrophically burdened by the notion that his affection is a lethal curse upon its subjects, this poor man has heretofore never once said "I love you" aloud in his 30 years of perpetually heartbroken life.
#carly's naruto shower thoughts#this is a wholeass panic attack#I'm watching naruto for the first time#kakashi#naruto#like if we were trying to embarrass him the important code words could have been egregiously smutty#but they went with I REALLY LOVE YOU
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thinking bout 14yr finnick winning the games and thinking about the victors+effie looking at this child and going "fuuuuck!!! guess we're co-parenting now"
#finnick wins and haymitch and the gang immediately look at each other and then open up the internet to learn how to change a diaper#finnick standing in effie's doorway @2am after a night out with a sponsor pupils blown wide and a brown stain on his shirt#finnick: effie i frew up#effie sliding off the bed miserably wondering why she wanted kids: okay nicky. let's get you cleaned up#him and mags falling asleep together. beetee making adjustments to his trident when he's in the capitol#chaff taking him out to where there's wilderness in the capitol so he can scream to his hearts content#haymitch teaching him the ins and outs of surviving capitol life. effie teaching him how to lie with a smile.#thinking about annie's games and finnick having panic attacks every other day#thinking about haymitch getting him blackout drunk in 12s suite so finnick's fucking heart doesnt give out from worrying#him whispering into effie's shoulder that annie cant die. he wont make it if she dies#effie holding her nicky close. mags coming to pick him up. chaff piggybacking him out the service exit.#thinking about them calling him nicky...... ohhh head in hands head in hands.....#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!!!!#the hunger games#thg#haymitch abernathy#effie trinket#chaff thg#mags flanagan#finnick odair#they try to do a sleepover every final night of the games and finnick has a nightmare#effie blearily: guys guys wake up. nicky's having a nightmare#chaff haymitch and mags who are practically dead to the world from getting drunk#haymitch slurring: before the sun rises nicky's yours princess#and chaff goes 'amen!' and mags sticks a thumbs up to show her appreciation from where she's got her head buried in pillows to block sound#idk guys. it couldnt have been tragedy all the time. unfortunately evil is smth you can get used to#i think there were a lot of mundane moments in between the heartbreak and tragedy
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Now that I think about it, the way they immediately went for Annabel once they got confirmed "the truce" wasn't happening was definitely premediated IM CRYING are you telling me that here



these two were fully discussing MURDER like "yeah yk what if there's no truce were fucking throwing her off the balcony" LMFAO9O
#LIKEDJRSJRAUJ#they went STRAIGHT TO MURDER no second thoughts even contemplated#To be fair Duke was trapped to die inside a brick wall and Pluto was having borderline panic attacks mid hallways#for 2 days#I think they deserve to try this one out#nevermore webtoon#lenore nevermore#nevermore webcomic#annabel lee x lenore#annabel lee nevermore#nevermore#duke nevermore#pluto nevermore
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