#trying to fix the vid but still end up with something like this ><

[naeviskz]

genre. idol!hyunjin x model!f!reader | established relationship

words. 1.5k+ tags/warnings. angst, fluff (towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hj is lowkey toxic (but we love it hehe), cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread

this has been in my drafts for years and i finally finished it bc i was tired of seeing it LMAO. btw the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rlly good imo.

“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to hyunjin was like conversing with the wall, never truly grasping any of your concerns.

you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with chan or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.

hyunjin felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere ___, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.

“i just think it’s for the better right now hyune, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”

“are you serious ___? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can’t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” hyunjin couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.

he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.

“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.

“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you hyunjin. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.

how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.

the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.

so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.

“fuck that,” hyunjin angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.

no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.

hyunjin’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed slit “you’ll forget everything.”

* :.･ﾟﾟ･ ✿

“oh my- fuckk, hyunjin!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.

the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.

you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your dewy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.

“hyunjin-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.

a low grunt can be heard underneath, hyunjin loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.

just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. hyunjin knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.

“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”

your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a slew of curses leave your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. hyunjin slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and tummy.

once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing hyunjin’s ever witnessed.

“can’t believe you’re all mine.” hyunjin whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much baby.”

“love you too hyune.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.

maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?

- 完 ♡︎

[memoriesndew]

the events of 28/02/2024 || wednesday

today was almost completely like the days I always dreamed of started my day with Bible reading (I actually listened to it - still understood it though) after that I went to do the dishes and then did a quick sweep of my room.

I got tired because I didn't sleep at all yesterday (I'm finding it really hard to fix my sleeping schedule) so I slept and when I woke up I immediately got dressed and started walking to hit my step goal. all in all in my opinion today was better than most days

☆ today's small wins

● I hit 11k steps today - the streak is streaking

● completed this month's Duolingo quest - quite last minute since the month ends really soon

● I worked out - not the 6 vids I planned but I did 3 vids and as always something is better than nothing at all

● I read (listened) the 20 chapters I planned to so yh

● did my skincare (only at night time though :( - still trying to be consistent

☆ today's self-care

● watched the office - only while I ate (I'm a proud iPad kid thanks)

● listened to music - as always hamiltion

● continued the Adrinette fic - I'm obsessed with it I also found a feligami one and I'm reading that after this one

● read some manhwa's that had been updated

🎧the Schuyler sisters ~ Hamilton (Original Cast 2016 )

🎬 the office s5 ep15 ~ Pam and Micheal's bonding is kinda cute

This was a long post lol 👍

[parachutingkitten]

I'm only on the s2 segment of your vid, but I think it'd help you to know the Hagemans also wrote Trollhunters, which has one girl lead whos introduced as a love interest, and only gets to be a main character with weapons and powers way later on (compared to the main characters friend, who also gets to know about all the cool magic stuff in like the 1st episode).

Also most of her dialogue is her screaming the main character's name, I kid you not. I haven't watched in a long time but that's the most repeated thing she's said.

Another rlly fucked up thing they did was in the finale Netflix movie, they kill off a character who started off as a villain but she went through this redemption stuff... and then NEVER acknowledge that she's dead (and ofc the movie ended like Skybound, but instead it's the entire franchise reset, but a lil bit different.)

I could also ramble about how the main character's mom was kinda just there and I don't remember anything she did either aside from... fall in love with one of the enemies (who was disguised as a teacher and later on became principal) of the main character.

Due to all this, I think it IS safe to say at LEAST the Hagemans had SOMETHING sexist going on...

So I have heard. I still wouldn't feel 100% comfortable labeling the Hagemans as sexist. I think they're probably extremely ignorant about female rep. Especially for a show that pushes the feminism angle as hard as ninjago, I feel like they would probably like to be better.

I've got some conclusive thoughts on my video I'll probably put here at some point, but I think that's maybe something I should have hit on more. Ninjago is a great example of why behind the scenes rep matters. Even when you try and incorporate feminist ideals into your work, it's still really easy to make something that's sexist, especially if you yourself are not a woman. Because it is at the core of a lot of our storytelling as a culture. It's normalized everyday in things as innocuous as kids shows. Wanting to be better isn't enough. You've gotta take drastic action if you want to make something actively positive.

It can't be that specific people or shows are problematic and if we label them as such it will somehow fix things. It's everywhere. Assigning blame gets us nowhere. We just need to do better moving forward.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hello, I was hoping that you lovely people can help me find an ao3 fic that I’ve been searching for. WWX is brought back the same way as canon but it wasn’t MXY who summoned him but an original character. WWX ends up in Cloud Recesses because he interacts with LXC AND LWJ a lot in the story. The twist is that the person who brought WWX back hated him so much that he wanted WWX to suffer really badly. WWX figures it out/knows. It does end up with a happy ending. Thank you!~

Hello, beautiful people. Im the anon who submitted #1 from the latest fic finder post. Unfortunately the fic I’m looking for is not Beauty and the Boot. The original character who summoned WWX was male and hated the Yiling Patriarch. The fic had a lot of angst as well if that helps🥲

NOT FOUND! ❤️Beauty and the Boot by PTchan (T, 44k, wangxian, summoned by f!oc, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Genderbending, Denial, Fem!WWX, WangXian kids, Crack-ish, WIP)

FOUND! A Storm of Laughter in the Stillness of the Jingshi by OnlyMeAndMyBones (T, 73k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Recovery, Pain, Mental Illness, Depression, PTSD, Rehabilitation, slow burn but significantly less so than canon, miscommunication is still a thing tho, Empathy, Guilt, Forgiveness, it's not THAT dark actually)

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2. Hey. I've been looking for a fic that I read I while ago for so long. WWX accidentally sets off a talisman and gets deaged.? I remember that he is stuck in that form for a while and takes zidian from JC. Later when he finds out about LWJs scars on his back he threatens the lan elders with it and says something like this isn't even hia weapon and imagine if he dad one of his own.. thanks bye 

FOUND? Silver & Gold by beeswaxing  (E, 162k, wangxian, Mojo’s post)

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3. Hi! I'm trying to find a wangxian fanfic I read long ago. It's where LWJ is engaged to JYL and WWX is engaged to JZX. I remember a specific part where JZX got jealous when he saw WWX and LWJ hanging out a lot and told WWX that he is his and not LWJs. WWX took offense to this and punched JZX telling him he cant control him. Endgame is ofc wangxian but yeah. I cant find it 😭 @journalsofagoddess

FOUND? Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-It, of sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

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4. Hello! Thank you for your hard work! I'm trying to find a fic there LWJ is a youtuber, and he does these 'day in the life of a college student' where he's just perfect at everything- meticulous, on top of his life and studies, and ultra competent. WWX, at the same college, then posts a response video where he shows what's it really like as a student and its just a troll/spoof of LWJ's vids where he cries like three times a day and eats junk food, etc. This goes on for months, with many videos and WWX accidentally becomes popular. Then wangxian meet and fall in love about it. NHS and JC help WWX with the vids, and i think the summary said something like 'three idiots make a youtube channel'. Anyway, hope someone can put together better search parameters than me. Thank you! @somevariationofgay

FOUND! like, comment, share & subscribe by detectorist (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, YouTube, Social Media, Flirting, Humour, Banter, Getting Together, First Kiss, Texting, so much texting, Youtubers For Social Justice, The Gang Gets Political, Competitive Flirting Via The Medium Of Youtube, it's about the yearning, YouTube Rivals To Lovers)

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5. Hi! I recently found this page and it looks amazing. I’ve been looking for the AO3 au fic. The premise is that in this world, people are able to essentially enter their minds kind of like a vr situation and create worlds. This has become a very lucrative business. Wei ying entered a simulation that was MDZS and as a result he entered a 13 month coma. Everyone thought he was dead. But he retired from the business. But then the juniors call him in for “one last mission” which is basically the yi city arc. and he and lan zhan work through some unspoken tension and then they get together. @awkwardly-cry-ing-in-the-corner

FOUND! some lovely, perilous thing by varnes (E, 24k, WangXian, Inception Fusion, Criminal Associates To Lovers, Heist Case Fic)

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6. Hey, it's me again haha so I read this ff long time ago and it was soo good unfortunately i cant remember the title

So like, the cultivation world needs yiling laozu's help and they tried to summon him using mo xuanyu but they failed since yl lz appeared in his own original body and not in mxy. Anyway so history repeats itself, wwx knows everybody especially lan zhan cuz he his "friend" that time. They became curious about wwx, they found his journal and he kept talking about this certain friend eventually they found out the friend's name is lan zhan lan wangji. Time skip they found out that lwj reincarnated, he looks exactly the same as wwx's friend. Lxc said it was impossible cuz all their ancestors died because of an explosion that was caused by wwx bavk in the day.

There is this spefic scene, wwx kept blaming himself because he was the reasom why lz died, ok so lz married a woman (arranged marriage) and had child with her, wy was heartbroken and told lz that he has feelings for him, lz also has feelings for him, so when lz heard that the sects will have a siege in burial mounds he went there and protected wy then something happened and the surroundings explode.

Anyway, they have come to a conclusion that wy is an immortal, he took care of lz's child, lz reincarnated he fought really hard to keep his body and appearance the same

Thank you thank youuuuuuuu for all your hard work @hellothere9597

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YL WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline)

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7. Hi hi, I hope y'all are doing well ^^ Ive recently been thinking about a fic i read in late 2019/early 2020 and I was hoping to get some help finding it? What I remember about it is that after Mo Manor, wwx doesnt go to Dafan mountain and instead travels until he finds a village and starts working there as a farmer. wn is also there after a while and he helps wwx. lwj visits the village but doesnt recognize wwx at first. If anyone knows what fic this is id be vv grateful! @storming-raumo

FOUND? focal, filler, and line by bosbie (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, flower shop au, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining, falling in love, WWX is not recognized in Dafan mountain, slice of life, WIP) wwx is not a farmer but the rest checks out

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8. Fic finder! I binged All Of The Yiling Wei Sect AUs recently and they all kind of blurred together in my brain, so I THINK all of this happens in the same fic but I could be wrong and if I am I'm so, so sorry. In the fic Wei Wuxian very briefly worked with the talisman scammer to sell actual Yiling Laozu talismans for a decent penny, then one of the Wen uncles convinced him they should set up their own stall. They made talisman paper out of the burial mounds bamboo and it was red. There was a scene when the Wen went on trial and Wen Ning was able to speak to the people in the room, proving that he's cognizant and not a mindless puppet. The Jiang ended up taking the Wei as a subordinate sect I believe? And WWX started to make friends with Jin Guangyao. @lewiscarrolatemybrain

FOUND! Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au)

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9. I am looking for a fic, maybe it is part of the Amnesia rec list, or if not it should be! Wwx has lost about 2 months of memory. Turns out that in that time he and LZ got engaged. He tries to work out if this is a real engagement or not. There is also a discussion conference at CR and Jiang Cheng is there. I particularly remember the scene where Wwx finds out the engagement wasn't real, goes to JC and cries about it. Then JC storms to the Jingshi to shout at LZ for making WY cry. I love that scene, but who wrote it again? Thanks for helping me out! @kesterling

FOUND! put your heart where your mouth is by protos_metazu_ison (T, 20k, wangxian, JC & WWX, post-canon, misunderstanding, memory loss, pining & insecure WWX, happy ending, twin prides of yunmeng feels, fluff & angst, protective JC)

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10. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where the sword goes through both JYL and JC at Nightless City. WWX takes them both back to Lotus Pier and essentially locks the place behind a barrier, but the sect itself doesn't really mind. I think it was one chapter in a collection but I can't be sure.

FOUND? Chapter 2 of Cosmic by apathyinreverie (T, 10k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, everyone lives au, yunmeng sibling dynamics, protective yunmeng Jiang sect, romance, smitten LWJ, oblivious WWX, powerful WWX, possessive LWJ, soft WWX, streetkid WWX, time travel fix-it, modern setting)

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11. Hi! Love the work you all do. Keep the good work. So for a fic finder... I've been looking for this fic I started reading a while ago but then had to stop. I'm pretty sure I bookmarked it but alas I haven't had any luck finding it. That's why I'm putting my faith in you guys and the readers. So this is what I remember: it was a WIP, it was post canon, wangxian, JC and JL are in CR, JC want a fight, WWX said a few truth and JL goes to WWX, it is said that JYL went to the battle to die on purpose. @multitudeofmes

FOUND! What Happens When The Self-Sacrifing Idiot Snaps by WiFi_Stalker (Not rated, 1k, wangxian, post-canon, not Jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, not JC friendly, not JYL friendly, WWX snaps, WIP)

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12. I'm looking for a fic from 1-2 years ago, in English, was a WIP, where LWJ is Chief Cultivator and WWX is wandering on his own. WWX meets a nobleman who invites WWX to stay with him and encourages him to use his cultivation, to the benefit of the common people. The fic was from LWJ's perspective (I think?) and mostly took place in letters exchanged, with some exposition before or after a letter. Wangxian implied, not confirmed; fic author debating confirmation. Does the fic still exist? @acasualgeek

FOUND? To Start A Bridge From A Single Log by ChilianXianzi (T, 4k, wangxian, WWX & OMC, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, inventor WWX, politics, epistolary, pining, jealous LWJ, sugar baby WWX, WIP)

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13. Hi! I need help finding this fic. It's a special agent (James bond style) Lan Wangji and Q Wei Wuxian. I tried looking everywhere and with every tag I could think of on AO3 but I could only find the one where Wei Wuxian is a 007. I remember it starts out with Lan Wangji in the car watching a house or something and then Wei Wuxian talks to him over an ear com. He had to take MianMian's place as she was busy/ on pregnancy leave? I can't remember. Also, Wei Wuxian gets shocked when he realizes Lan Wangji always brings back his kit in perfect condition. Thank you!!

FOUND? 💖 some life yet unspent by Fahye (E, 28k, wangxian, spies & secret agents au)

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14. Is the one fic, where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji dual cultivate a Yin core in Wei Wuxian still up on AO3? Wei Wuxian, before he knows he’s going to dual cultivate with Lan Wangji, has nightmares that he’s going to have to dial cultivate with Wen Qing. Lan Wangji has to rail him five times in a night.

FOUND! i had to abandon myself (you took all of me) by justdoityoufucker (E, 27k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Novel Characterizations, Philosophy, Illnesses, Chronic Pain, Cultivation Sect Politics, Dual Cultivation, LWJ fucks a core into WWX, On Hiatus) might be this? Unfortunately it's on hiatus right now :[

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15. Hello! I don’t know if this fic is still up. I couldn’t find it so… I can remember some details of this fic, but it’s basically a shameless Lan Wangji time-travel fanfic where he changes the whole story by saving Wei Wuxian from the beginning in Cloud Recesses. I forgot the name… I remember that part of the summary was the line; “If you give me a kiss, I’ll let you go.” Or something like that…

FOUND! could be the deleted "OOC!" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It was reuploaded on Wattpad

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16. i read a fic a while ago where WWX survived the seige but lost most of his memory and ended up finding a shrine and moving in there. He stayed there with a-yuan for years taking care of the shrine. Eventually LWJ found him. thats really all i remember but if you could help me find it that would be amazing!! thank you!!! :)

FOUND? #16 was This House is Loved by Ribena but has been deleted

SIMILAR! And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending) is a deleted fic, however this fic is similar to it (no ayuan tho)

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17. Hi first of all thank you for your womderful work i always find good fics to read because of this blog next please help me find this fic ive been serching all over. This fic is a role reversal instead of wwx its lwj who died. I remember that he died before the 33rd whip and a lan member got guilty and brought him back. His ribbon was also missing in the beginning of the story. wwx is a sec leader now yiling wei sect at wei sizhui brought lwj to get help because lwj is looking for something and he hides is face. Thank you for the help and good job @ladyxyraine

FOUND? Restart from the End by EmBlu (IcyDeath) (G, 71k, wangxian, resurrection, canon divergence, temporary major character death (LWJ), JYL & JZX & NMJ live, yilingwei sect au, sect leader WWX, angst, hurt/comfort, angry WWX, grief, slow burn, wei sizhui, WIP)

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18. i'm sure i'll find it before this is answered, but just in case, i remembered a line from a fic but i don't remember what it's called. it's something like "wwx imagined sizhui's face on a series of progressively younger children. this is what he may have looked like at 13; at 9; at 6. this is how your child grew without you." thank you!!!!! @kisskissgotohell

FOUND! your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian (G, 10k, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, WangXian, Father-Son Relationship, Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, More aligned with CQL than novel canon, Miscommunication, Eventual Positive Communication, Trying to be a family, how to tell your dad you want him to be your dad in 6 easy steps!)

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19. Hello! Thank you so much to all of the mods for what you do! I’m hoping to find this post-canon mpreg fic that I read from a while back. WWX didn’t immediately tell LWJ about the pregnancy out of fear that it won’t push through or something. Some people were alive (like Wen Qing who secretly did WWX’s checkup and told him about the pregnancy) but not JYL. WWX also stopped drinking wine and started eating healthier to ensure the baby’s growth? Which kinda made LWJ suspicious? There was also a part where WWX visited JC in Lotus Pier, and JC was able to guess at WWX’s pregnancy and they had a really nice conversation and reconciliation. I’m sorry if some of these details might have been from other mpreg fics that I unknowingly confused with the one I’m looking for, but I hope the others are accurate enough to help! Thank you so much again! Y’all are a blessing!

FOUND? Unexpected Lullaby by SilverStark (T, 30k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Minor Original Character(s), Unplanned Pregnancy, Post-Canon, Mpreg, Non-ABO, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reconciliation, Family, Dual Cultivation Baby)

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20. I'm looking for a fanfic that the modern Wei Wuxian ends up traveling to the past because of a book he found. I also remember that it turns out that all the characters that are dead come back to life

FOUND? Could be the deleted series by yareyarejojosan. Someone uploaded the author's works to Google Drive

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[buckevantommy]

re: BuckTommy Coffee Date Song Choice

Okay, so I really can’t stand the song choice for the coffee date scene. I made a supercut of their scenes so far, but every time I get to the cafe I feel the urge to mute it. So, I wanna fix it. 

While watching this scene I couldn’t help but think a Nick Drake song would’ve been a better choice. I don’t know how it works with music rights etc. but I do think the music editor dropped the ball hard on this scene because the song they chose is drab, too slow, and a poor lyrical match (imho). I’ve chosen 4 different Nick Drake songs which I think are a far better match, and I’ve done my best to overlay them. 

[I tried filtering out that background song best i can, but some of the vocals underlying the dialogue were sneaky and stayed behind, so apologies for their presence in the audio. I’m not a pro, just a fan with some spare time and a mac.]

1. Pink Moon - obviously my first choice. the vibe is mellow but not too slow as to drag down the scene. There’s a perfectly timed piano intro as Tommy explains Evan has nothing to apologise for, the change in instrument lining up with the insight. Another shift in melody as Buck says he wants something with Tommy, the lyrics (imho) giving this feeling of acknowledging this new and beautiful thing and how it’s almost here he almost has it but not quite (he’s still learning and wants to experience it). We get a bit of instrumental over them discussing the wedding. The lyrics suit Buck’s bi awakening, and bonus points for the mention of ‘pink’ because i just think that’s cute. The song is actually about 20 seconds too short so i had to double it up, but the lyrics still match well and it ends on the mention of ‘pink moon gonna get you all’ with ‘pink moon’ fading out into the wedding scene, which is so cute. 

2. Northern Sky - is a great fit musically and lyrically imho, the discovery of this magical new thing in life and how it brightens Buck’s world. It’s smoother than the other choices and has more instrument layers; I don’t like when the piano gets boppy in the middle because it feels out of place with the rest of the song and the scene, but the instrumental part that coincides with Buck being vulnerable and honest with Tommy fits and the ending is nice. 

[this third video has song numbers 3 + 4 because vimeo has a 3 free vid max]

3. Place To Be - has the mellowest vibe, a strummed guitar melody, and the lyrics suit Buck's bi awakening not being in his younger years, instead just now finally finding clarity. It mentions being new, and has sunshine lyrics, and perfectly places a dejected lyric over Buck reiterating how Tommy said he doesn’t think Buck is ready, followed by the line ‘give me a place to be’ as Buck says he wants to try something with Tommy. Instrumental interlude as Buck asks Tommy to the wedding, with lyrics about being ‘strong in the sun’ as he assures tommy he’s serious while being bathed in sunlight. It ends on a lyric about being ‘weaker than the palest blue’ and both their eyes are blue, and Tommy just agreed to be Buck’s wedding date, so. I mean, pretty perfect, right? 

4. Which Will - has a slightly more energised plucked melody but still pretty mellow, it still suits the convo pace. The lyrics suit buck questioning what Tommy will do, whether Tommy will choose him. there’s a brief instrumental where buck gets his vulnerable moment, and Tommy espresses his interest over the ‘which do you dance for’ lyric. The lyrics just go very nicely with Buck talking about the wedding, Buck asking along with the lyrics. It ends on ‘which will you take now if you won't take me’ which ties into the hope of it all. 

💖 I’m curious to know what you guys think: Did you like their song choice? Do you have another song in mind for this scene? I’d also love to know which Nick Drake song you think works best so I’ll probably add a poll to a reblog. 💖

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

been watching lots of bojack analysis vids because i like the funny depressed horse show a little too much and a couple touched on the philbert balloon and the scene at the end of showstopper where he walks up the stairs and is greeted by the balloon and said it resembles the sky because bojack feels like he’s above everything which is a fair conclusion to draw based on his behavior and repeated insistence on his celebrity status to get what he wants in many situations throughout the show, but i also thought it was a pretty clear reference to the truman show and i was surprised they didn’t bring this up. the part of the truman show where truman gets to the door out of his World, all the way out on the horizon, discovering and accepting that the world that revolves around him is a falsehood and making the conscious choice to leave that world for the Real world and all the risks and pleasures that come with it… i think some of the themes are pretty applicable to bojack’s storyline and the statements bojack horseman as a show makes about the nature of fame and the film industry. i think the scene in bojack references that part of the truman show to show us that bojack is starting to finally realise that the world DOESN’T revolve around him, and he ISN’T above everything else. whether he chooses to accept that reality in the same episode is left up to the viewer’s interpretation, but clearly after diane brings him to rehab and he chooses to go in, he eventually does accept that the world he knows that revolves around him is phony. however, unlike truman, we never see him truly make the decision to leave that self-absorbed world without being pushed, and certainly we don’t see that decision made against the advice of, for the purposes of this analysis, his perception of god, as in the truman show. in fact, bojack WANTS to stay in his self-absorbed world more badly than anything, even into season 6. when he goes to rehab, he does grow and change, but by the time he’s supposed to be ready to leave, hes grown used to living in this world that’s all about him, but in a different, healthier way than the world of philbert or horsin around was all about him, and he doesn’t want to leave rehab, even though he’s told, and rightfully so, that he’s ultimately holding space that could be used to help someone who is in a deep hole like he was at the end of season 5 when he finally went to rehab. when he goes to prison, he ends up kind of happy there, it has an enforced routine, like rehab did, and it’s a smaller world, closed off from the real world where everything is not about him, and he says that he’s worried about what’ll happen when he gets out, worried he’ll relapse and become terrible again or something of that nature, and sure, he may not necessarily be desperately trying to stay in prison, but he IS clearly hesitant and reluctant to leave even if he ultimately will anyways when his sentence is up. i think that the series finale hints that bojack might fully accept that he is not the center of the universe nor should he be, and choose to venture out into the wide world beyond himself and his bullshit, but we never actually see this decision really happen. i’m still in the middle of s5 on a rewatch so i might come back and edit this post later to fix any errors my bad memory put in here, but this is just me dumping my thoughts out somewhere, yknow how it is.

[iheartgarrus]

Be Your Shelter

Can't express how good it feels to finally finish something. 

Title: Be Your Shelter Rating: G Content: Adoption, fostering, tough conversations Pairing: Viola Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Genre: Family Word Count: 2951 AO3 Link

"Obviously, you're not obligated to do this if you don't want to, Garrus," Castis assured. "If you and Shepard don't want to. If you decline, there are other relatives they can try, now that they have access to the Hierarchy database." He paused, mandibles flickering on the video feed. "But the option is there, if it's something the two of you want."

Garrus was quiet for a long time. This bomb that had just been dropped on him - this wasn't something he and Shepard had even begun to discuss. Until very recently, bringing it up with her would've been unfathomable. Not while she was struggling so much just to get through every day. But, while he wouldn't say their little Normandy reunion party a few months prior had fixed everything, in hindsight, it had been a turning point. She was leaving the apartment more now, for leisure and not just for doctor's appointments and therapy. She'd begun showing more physical affection and calling her mother more often than she ever had. He'd even been entertaining the thought that she might want to get married soon. But still... kids? He wasn't sure if she wanted them at all, let alone right now.

It took him a few minutes to notice that his father was still watching him, waiting patiently for his response. "How-" He cleared his throat. "How soon do they need an answer?"

"The sooner the better, obviously. They want to get these children in homes as fast as they can." Castis sighed sympathetically. "I know it's a lot to take in so quickly, but I don't think it can wait longer than a week, at the most."

Garrus nodded numbly. "A week. Right."

"Son, I want you to know I won't think less of you if you say no. Taking in a child you don't want-"

"I know, Dad. Trust me, I wouldn't do that. And Shepard sure as hell wouldn't."

"Of course," Castis replied. By now, he had learned enough about Shepard's childhood to know what Garrus meant. "I... I'll be here if you need to talk about it."

Garrus couldn't help smiling a little, hearing the awkward note in his father's subvocals. Even years later, neither of them was quite used to the way the strain in their relationship had all but melted away after the war. "Thanks, Dad. I've-" He turned at the sound of the apartment door opening. "Shepard's home. I'll call you later."

They ended the call, and Garrus, filled with the adrenaline that comes with nerves, left the spare bedroom-turned-office and made a beeline for the back stairs. Turning on the first landing, he came to a halt at the sight of Shepard standing at the bottom, realizing he didn't have a clue how he was going to tell her about this. 'Hey, sweetie, how was lunch with Ash? Wanna adopt a kid?' didn't quite seem like the way to go. Maybe he could-

"Garrus?"

He shook himself out of his panicked brainstorming to find Shepard staring at him with a bemused look on her face. "Shepard. Hey," he greeted her, deliberately relaxing his rigid stance.

She raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Let's... yeah. Uh. Do you wanna watch a vid or something?" He started heading down the stairs again, trying to project nonchalance with every muscle in his body. He just needed to stall until he figured out how to do this. "There's a new-"

"Garrus." She placed a hand on his chest when he reached the bottom. She didn't apply enough pressure to physically stop him, but the touch was enough. "You're going to have to tell me what's going on." Her tone was firm, but he picked up on the anxiety lurking beneath the surface.

He sighed. The last thing he wanted was to make her fear the worst. "It's nothing bad, I promise. But we should sit down."

He settled his hand on her back and walked them over to the couch by the fireplace. Once they were seated, he took her hand and faced her, his mandibles twitching erratically as he tried to find the words to begin. Shepard just watched him, much like his father had after giving him this possibly life-altering news. But, despite his assurances, she was worried - she didn't like uncertainty. 'Get it together, Vakarian,' he chastised himself. "So..." He took a deep breath. "My dad just called. He... had some news."

"Is everyone alright?"

"Yeah, everyone's fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I just need to... It's complicated."

She just continued watching him, but she squeezed his hand a little tighter - in encouragement or out of nerves, he wasn't sure. Maybe both.

"Okay," he said, steeling himself. "Let me just start at the beginning. Since the last relays are starting to come back online, the Hierarchy is reestablishing contact with the rest of the colonies. Since some of these places haven't had a reliable connection to the rest of the galaxy since the war ended, there are..." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "This whole time, the procedure for orphaned children has been to search Hierarchy records to find their closest living relatives and try to place the children with them. If they decline, they go on down the list. If they run out of options, there's a..." He paused, wishing there were a different term for what he was about to say. "Foster system. There's more oversight than what you went through," he quickly added when she tensed, "but it's still been stretched pretty thin. Sometimes a relative will resurface when contact is made with another colony, but that's... not happening very much anymore."

Shepard sat silently, looking at their entwined hands, expression unreadable. Even after four years together, her mask could be completely impenetrable to him when she wanted it to be. A minute or two passed before she looked up at him again. "Go on, Garrus."

He glanced off to the side, rubbing his neck with his free hand. "You can probably guess where this is going. They've been updating records for survivors on Invictus since the Minos Wasteland's relay was repaired a couple months ago - it's a mess, since half the population was fugitives from the Terminus. But yesterday, my dad got a call from the Family Reunification Service. They looked a girl up in the database and..." He shook his head, still in disbelief. "We - the Vakarians - are her closest living relatives."

Shepard tilted her head back and took a deep breath through her nose, keenly aware of Garrus' eyes on her. "They want you to take her," she stated, rather than asked.

Garrus coughed. "Yeah. Dad's a little old to go chasing a six-year-old around the house, especially by himself. And Solana-"

"Would have to leave active duty to raise a kid. Yeah." Abruptly, Shepard rocked up onto her feet and headed for the bar. "Do you want anything?" she called over her shoulder.

"Uh." Garrus blinked, then regained his wits. "Actually, yeah. That's not a bad idea." He followed her lead and took a seat on one of the stools while she rummaged around behind the bar.

"Beer or horosk? Tali finished off your brandy when she was here a couple weeks ago."

"Damn. Next time I'm telling her to bring her own," he said, just as he did after every visit from their quarian friend. "Give me a beer. I do still need to be able to form a sentence once I'm done."

She slid the bottle across the bar before pouring herself a whiskey, hesitating a moment, then making it a double. Shepard usually preferred mixed drinks to anything else, but it seemed like she just wanted to start drinking as soon as possible, in this case. He couldn't blame her.

After she came around and settled on the barstool next to him, she took a long sip of her whiskey and set her glass back down in front of her, keeping her eyes trained on it as she spoke. "So... they want you to adopt this kid."

Garrus took a few generous gulps of beer. "Yeah."

She rolled the glass between her hands. "What do you know about her?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Not much. Her name is Calain. Like I said, she's six, which means she was three when the war ended and she doesn't remember much. She's my fourth cousin once removed, so..." A lot of people have to be dead for me to be at the top of the list.

Shepard heard what he didn't say out loud and took another sip of her drink. "Where is she right now?"

"She's..." He faltered. He was afraid what he was about to say might end up guilting Shepard into agreeing to this, and he was trying very hard to avoid that. "She's in a kind of group home with other war orphans from her city. But it's not- believe me, she's safe and healthy, as much as any kid can be after surviving what they have."

She nodded, but he saw the wrinkle in her brow - she was worried anyway. "And, if you say no to this, they go down the list to the next closest relative, right?"

"Until they find someone to say yes, yeah. It's a six-month placement to make sure the fit is good for everyone before permanent adoption is considered."

Shepard went quiet again, taking periodic sips from her drink until the glass was empty. The bottle still sat on the bar, but she didn't reach for it. "How long do you have to decide?" she finally asked.

Garrus couldn't help feel unsettled by the fact that she hadn't once used the word 'we' during this conversation. "Dad said they can't wait longer than a week. But the sooner the better."

She hummed and finally looked up at him out of the corner of her eye. "Tell me what you're thinking?"

"What I... huh." He drained the last of his beer and turned in his stool to fully face her. "Well, I just found out about this minutes before you came home. And to be honest, all I've been doing is wondering what you've been thinking. For example, why do you keep talking about it like it's only my decision?"

She shrugged. "It's you they're asking, isn't it?"

"What are you- Yes, because I'm her cousin, but that doesn't mean you don't get a say. Can-" He slid a hand closer to her on the bar, but she didn't take it. "Can you please tell me what I'm missing here? Why are you hiding from me?"

At that, the stoic shield over her face melted away and Garrus saw the fear there, plain as day. "I didn't..." she started. "I didn't want to presume. We've never actually talked about this, and it's your family so I didn't want to, I don't know... influence your decision, I guess."

"Vi," he said pleadingly, waiting until she fully met his gaze. "I wish you'd give me a little more credit than that." He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice or his subvocals. "I'd never force a child on you and I'd never leave you."

She shook her head. "I know. It's not... Ugh," she groaned. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't- I didn't explain that right." She rubbed her forehead and breathed deeply for a few moments. "Garrus." She swallowed hard. "I want to do it."

His mouth fell open. "You... you do?"

She finally placed her hand over his on the bar. "Yeah. I mean, I'm freaked out because it's not like I had an example for a stable parental figure growing up, but that's also why I want to do it. If I can keep one kid from going through that..." She half shrugged, trying for a weak smile. "I can't be worse than the alternative, right?"

Garrus hesitated. On one hand, hearing her say that she wanted to adopt a child with him was quickly making him realize how much he had actually wanted this outcome, even if he didn't know it when he woke up that morning, or even when they began this conversation. On the other... "Like I said, there are a lot of safeguards in the Hierarchy's fostering and adoption system - it wouldn't be like it was on Earth. I don't want you to agree just because of that. And another relative might take her before it even comes to that."

She nodded. "I know. But she's waited long enough for a real home. This... feels right to me. The timing - if this had come up six months ago I wouldn't have been ready." She paused and bit her lip. "But like I said, we never talked about it. So I was being cagey because I didn't want to make you feel like you had to say yes just because I wanted it."

Garrus quickly took her other hand. "To be honest, I had no idea which way I was leaning before I told you. I was just in shock. But it feels right to me, too. If you're sure."

She took a breath. "I want to say yes, I'm sure. But I also don't think half an hour is long enough to decide to have a kid. So... let's sleep on it?"

His mandibles flared and he leaned over to press his forehead to hers. "Sounds like a plan."

~~~

Shepard squeezed Garrus' hand for at least the eighth time since they'd arrived at Docking Bay B15. PDA usually made her uncomfortable, but her nerves were really getting the better of her here. This wasn't how most people became parents - she idly wondered if it would have been easier not to worry so much if she was distracted by the Herculean effort of childbirth.

"It's going to be fine," he murmured in her ear. It struck her as odd that he seemed as calm as he did, considering how frantic he'd been about childproofing their apartment for the last few weeks since the paperwork was finalized. Maybe he'd just gotten all his nervous energy out then while she saved hers up for this moment. Or maybe he was just putting on a brave face for her sake. Either way, she tried to soak it in. Calain was probably scared enough, and a panicking human... caregiver would only make it worse.

Shepard inhaled sharply when the arrival of the Hatysa was announced over the loudspeaker and the Hierarchy frigate glided gracefully into position at the docking clamps. The next ten minutes as the ship completed docking procedures were agonizing, her characteristic sniper's patience nowhere to be found. Finally, the doors slid open and about a dozen turian children ranging from toddlers to teenagers filed out, herded by their temporary caretakers. Shepard had expected there to be more, but this ship was only the first of likely many to transport war orphans off of Invictus to be placed with family on the Citadel - the first connections contacted usually didn't work out, Castis had explained to them.

She craned her neck, trying to get eyes on the little girl they were waiting for, but Garrus' height gave him an advantage. "Got her!" His triumphant tone hearkened back to his days spotting cloaked enemies on the battlefield in a way that Shepard might have found morbidly funny if she weren't so unbearably on edge. He tugged her by the hand, leading her through the small crowd closer to the ship's berth. Once in the open, Calain was easy to spot - while her deep brown plates weren't out of the ordinary, she was the only child with a brace on her leg. Broken bones were always especially dangerous for turians, and without so much as medigel available to her until it was much too late, hers had never had the chance to heal properly. Still, according to their conversations with the group home's staff, it hardly seemed to slow her down.

Calain was sticking close to one of the social workers from Invictus, gripping her hand like a lifeline as her eyes roamed the vast expanse of the docking bay. Garrus waved to catch the worker's attention while Shepard felt frozen in place, staring at the little girl who was about to become part of their family. She'd been so sure up until now - she was still sure - but why had no one told her how terrifying this would be?

As far as Shepard could tell, she blinked and suddenly the social worker was standing in front of them with Calain staring up at her, tiny mandibles slack and blue eyes (startlingly similar to Garrus' despite the distant relation) wide as could be. They had been warned that she had never seen a human in person before, so her reaction wasn't such a surprise. All at once, Shepard snapped back into focus, some latent instincts from looking out for the younger kids on the streets of Chicago resurfacing. Get on her level. Make her feel safe.

She was distantly aware of Garrus exchanging some pleasantries with the social worker, but she quietly let go of his hand and - slowly, so as not to startle her - crouched down to Calain's height. "Hi." Shepard smiled softly. "My name is Viola. It's nice to meet you, Calain."

Garrus and the other turian had stopped speaking to watch them, and a few long, tense moments passed, during which Shepard wondered whether the girl might actually be in shock. Then, finally, just as the social worker was about to break the silence, Calain blinked slowly and lifted her hand in a tiny, three-fingered wave.

Shepard was in love.

[absentmoon]

hi bug i have come to tell you about date plan a to z and why it is the best enstars event because i am Very Excited for it on the eng server!!

firstly there is the fact that i have played it 111 times which is so many and also i now have the movements for the beatmap ingrained into my very being. but also the song SLAPS and i love!! the outfits!! and also the choreography :) if you're curious, here's the official mv, but don't feel like you need to watch it!! unfortunately the only a to z card i have is mitsuru's but i'm planning on getting at least niki's on the eng server!!! and im trying to save up to exchange for kaoru but its rlly hard lol

the second reason why a to z is the best is because its a shuffle event!!! i looove shuffles so bad i love seeing characters who usually have no business being in the same room being forced to interact with eachother and be besties :) ALSO all the characters are characters i really love!! i know you probably aren't that familiar with the characters and i'd be totally happy to go into more detail but i feel like this will already be hellishly long so i'll skip over introductions. but the shuffle is made up of kaoru from undead, chiaki from ryuseitai, niki from crazy:b, mitsuru from ra*bits, and natsume from switch!!!! i really love chiaki & kaoru's friendship, and i also love how niki & mitsuru become pretty good friends over the course of the event story?? they r bread buddies i love them so bad

also the event story is lots of fun and just!! very nice & lighthearted while still showcasing kaoru's character growth really well :) enstars can be real dark sometimes so i always feel the need to treasure the stories where nothing really happens?? the premise is that the five of them are supposed to do an article on their ideal dates for a magazine and also do a little promotional video for a new shopping center!! because kaoru had a playboy image that he's trying to fix, everyone voted for him to be the leader despite his self-doubt. he wants to put chiaki in charge instead bc chia has more experience in leadership positions, but both chiaki and anzu are insistent he take the lead. theres a lot of little shenanigans while everyone figures out what they want as an ideal date, and chiaki puts a bow in his hair and pretends to be a girl to take kaoru on a date and help him chillax a little. the rest of the shuffle follows them and they all end up doing karaoke together its real cute.

lastly please look at chiaki and kaoru i love this cg so bad :)

sorry this is so long i talk so much when given the opportunity!! i love date plan so bad im soso excited for it!!!! i REALLY hope im in town during the event if im not i will be so devastated but its okay

IMGOING NUTS I LOVE FHIS...so much infooo i love how much u know about this omg??? uve played it so msny timesss thats DEDICATION..

i don't know much of anything about choreography but the music vid is so stylish!! i think its really cool how naturally the models move i wonder if that's difficult to do..especially while still being so smooth and cool and!!!! idk its just so PRETTY youknow!!

the characters i don't recognize but u are free to talk about them always 😎😎 character dynamics are so interesting something like shuffle sounds like it can make really unique setups! i hope u can be in town when dateplan drops you deserve it...you know soso much about enstars omg im sending u lucky vibes!!!! really hope youll be there at the right time :DDD

thankyou for sharing i LOVE infodumping always <33 this is beautiful i learned a little today!!!! thank you!!!!

[bystreetlight]

I posted 211 times in 2022

6 posts created (3%)

205 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@inconjuncts

@rubdown

@heardchef

@sashayed

@teenagemutantninjaskrtels

I tagged 170 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#rafael nadal - 15 posts

#art - 15 posts

#jeremy allen white - 13 posts

#the bear - 11 posts

#roger federer - 11 posts

#very good - 9 posts

#fedal - 9 posts

#photography - 7 posts

#the newsreader - 6 posts

#iconic - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 68 characters

#this would be me if i was ever on the big screen at a sporting event

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Finally feeling like I’m coming up for air after a, frankly, traumatic couple of months. Bought a house at the end of October (YIKES!!!) and then had to spend the settlement period stressing that we would regret it and that the house would be horrible and that none of our stuff would fit in it. Struggled to source a bunch of tradies to do some essential pre-moving in work (painting, floors, electrical) and then when we did book some in, worried that they would all get c*vid right before they had to start work and it would throw out our insanely packed schedule. Spent all of January worrying that *we* might get c*vid and had to basically do a risk assessment before making any sort of social plans. Had to deal with the World’s Worst Property Manager™ when moving out of our rental and trying to work around open for inspections and the prospect of not getting our bond back for whatever stupid fucking reasons property managers make up and also some real reasons (didn’t get the carpets steam cleaned!! left a broken key in a lock in the back door!!!). Decided to get a removalist to do the big stuff and do the small stuff ourselves in the middle of the shittiest humid heatwave Melbourne had had in decades. The bank took the money out of my account twice at settlement leaving me with -$50k and didn’t even really think it was a big deal?!? The cleaner that we booked through Airtasker to clean the house before we moved in did the worst job I’ve ever seen and we had to re-clean the entire house and we only paid her because we needed her to leave the house and never see her again. Spent SO MUCH MONEY in general I don’t know if my inner anti-capitalist will ever recover. Also had to change jobs in the middle of all of this against my will - my old role was a 12 month contract but I loved it and my team so much and didn’t want to leave and start something new.

On the plus side, the internet got connected without a single hassle (WHAT). We bought a dishwasher and it somehow fit the random space in the kitchen cabinetry perfectly. Actually, *all* of our stuff fit perfectly, even the messy awful things like CDs and DVDs are now neatly tucked away. The backyard has an original Hills Hoist and I never thought I could derive so much pleasure from watching the clothes spin gently around in the sun. Got all of our bond back in the end! Sarah and I barely had a cross word with each other despite feeling hot, dirty and stressed 24/7 for about 4 weeks and also having to assemble a number of pieces of flatpack furniture. Discovered after 8 years of owning my washing machine that it doesn’t need a special hose to connect to the hot tap and the machine heats the water itself so we can wash on a hot cycle! Rafa won the AO (still not over that)!!!! Found out that the reason the bathroom smelled so damp was because of a blocked sewer pipe that the greywater couldn’t go down so it was just running under the house (not good) but it only cost $300 for a plumber to fix and now the bathroom doesn’t smell!! Even the scary bits of the house that I thought I’d never be brave enough to go into (the roof storage space, the filthy outdoor garage) are now clean and accessible and useable. I’m feeling calm more often than not at the moment, for the first time in a loooooong time.

Long story short, hi! 

0 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#4

See the full post

1 note - Posted January 9, 2022

#3

Angus O’Callaghan - Young & Jackson Neon 1968-71

2 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

#2

Forgot to post this before the end of the year and obviously the world will end if I don’t do it 😂

2 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Went into hospital yesterday for a laparoscopy to treat my endometriosis, which has been getting progressively worse with each passing year, and not to brag or anything, but the surgeon said the endo was “EVERYWHERE” when he came to talk to me afterwards 💁🏼‍♀️

3 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Star Wars: Frozen AU

I was watching some Frozen tribute vids on Youtube, and I was like "I can see Anakin in Elsa's role!". So here is a rough outline of my AU.

Main characters

Anakin = Elsa

Luke = Anna

Hans = members of Jedi council (I'll explain)

Parents = Padme, Jedi council (I'll explain)

Kristoff = Don't care who, maybe Han since Chewie can function as Sven

Olaf = Artoo or Threepio

Background

Let's say the clone wars never happened or the republic was actually victorious. Anakin is still the chosen one but he has control of dark side powers as well which are linked to his emotions so the council is wary of him. Anakin and Padme are married but the council finds out. They give him a pass as the chosen one and for his good work as a Jedi but he's on probation. Luke is born as an only child and is trained by his father as a young child in the Jedi temple.

Intro

Picture the intro scene of Frozen with a 5yr old Luke and Anakin but Anakin accidentally hits Luke with his dark side powers which starts an infection of Luke's force powers. Luke is cured by the council but Anakin is no longer allowed to teach Luke and is banned from interacting with his son. Picture the council being like Elsa's father but colder and more suspicious. They deem Anakin a threat and other Jedi treat him with disdain. Obi-Wan is a bit better but he's also distant. Luke tries to reach out to his father as he grows older but Anakin does not reciprocate causing the boy to feel rejected and lonely. Anakin's marriage also suffers as the council tries to cut him off from all his attachments. Unfortunately, Padme dies while on a senate trip or something so Luke loses his emotionally available parent at 13yrs old. Anakin also becomes more withdrawn and depressed which causes his dark powers to worsen.

Part 1

Instead of a coronation, the Jedi are celebrating some kind of anniversary, eg. defeating the Sith or the Jedi's creation. Anakin, being the chosen one, is the man of honor who carries out the ceremony ritual or some other important thing. Luke is now 16yrs old and is glad for the opportunity to see his father again. There's no love story but Luke still ends up confronting Anakin about why he's been avoiding him. Like Elsa, Anakin becomes desperate and angry, and lashes out with his dark side powers which frightens all the Jedi. His powers get out of control and brings darkness to the planet. Anakin runs away. Pretend he has a "Let It Go" moment somewhere in the Coruscant hills or whatever.

Part 2

The Jedi's force sensitivity is impacted by the darkness shrouding Coruscant. Luke convinces Obi-Wan to be the one to go after his father. Along the way he meets Han (or whoever) and Artoo (or 3P0). At Anakin's castle pretend there is a "First Time in Forever reprise" moment and Anakin attacks Luke with his dark powers which again corrupts Luke's soul which begins to cause his being to turn to stone. Han races Luke back to the temple to get help. Let's say they find an old jedi temple with ghostly beings who are agents of the force which tell them that only an act of selfless love can cure Luke. In the meantime, the Jedi and the senate guards go to capture Anakin. Obi-Wan is successful in blind siding Anakin and he is detained.

Part 3

Luke is brought before the council. The council afraid of Luke's corrupted powers, lock him away in his room. On Anakin's side, the council have trapped him in force restraining cuffs and collar. Yoda/Mace tells him to reverse what he has done but Anakin doesn't know how. They threaten extreme measures to fix Anakin's damage. His overwhelming power eventually lets him escape before they return. Artoo frees Luke from his locked room. Han, having become close friends with Luke, is compelled to go back to try and save him. We have the climax where Anakin's darkness is at an all time high. It's hard to even see what's around you. He confronts Mace Windu who tells him that his actions have destroyed Luke. Anakin is devasted and kneels in shock. Han sees Luke and runs towards him. Luke thinks that Han coming back after being selfish could be the selfless love that saves him. But he sees Windu about to kill his father. So we have the scene where Luke saves Anakin and turns to stone.

Ending

Luke's curse is broken. Anakin is able to let go his fears after experiencing his son's unconditional love and the darkness in the force lifts from Coruscant. He also unlocks his full power as the chosen one of the force. Instead of the Hans punching scene, we have Anakin telling the council that he quits being a Jedi. The Jedi are unable to stop him. Anakin and Luke go to live on Naboo with Padme's family or something like that. Anakin relearns how to be a father and have healthy attachments again. The end.

Alternative Scenario

If Leia exists, she could maybe be the one to who nearly kills Anakin. She is influenced by the Jedi to hate her father and him hurting Luke is the last straw for her. It would be an interesting dynamic between the twins. But Mace Windu is easier than incorporating Leia.

What do you think? This is a rough idea so not all the details are there but I really like it. I would so write it if I were not afraid of butchering it :(.

[izzyizumi]

Digimon Adventures ~ Taichi Yagami & Koushiro[u] Izumi {A.M.V. Out-lining/Timeline} for KouTai {Taishiro} ship Koushiro x Taichi A.M.V.: Part of THIS World [#Tri Spoilers] up until mid-Soushitsu, nothing past there; [#Digimon Adventure: Spoilers] (2020 reboot) - for a tiny part of Adventure 2020 Ep. 14 (a Koushiro-focus ep) only; clips at end. Meant to be mostly canon-compliant with a Koushiro-centric; + Koushiro & Taichi-positive focus.

A.M.V. outline timeline for a 34 clips edit made in 2 hours, I would have added in maybe 10-20~ more to fill it out, if it hadn't been for the editor instantly crashing by Ep 21 clips, thus I put focus on timing the emotion properly in the final chorus.

Even though I finished this one "quick", it was still difficult to work with and previewing the post, formattings, etc. all took another 2~ hours. That's also not counting some loading time of files in-between.

A couple clips timed just short of what I would have liked (you'll probably notice which ones if you watch), I'll see if I can re-time them in a "fixed" version, sometime in the (very far) future.

Any time someone tries to tell / convince ??? me or others (for some 'strange' "reason", that seems to happen a lot here...) "but vid editing / editing in general is SOOOO easy, ANY random fan can probably do it and make a half-decent edit {or even A.M.Vs} in not even half a day!!!1!" I start sharing my A.M.V. outlines again because I think if they actually saw what one looked like, they'd probably take those words back. It's not that it's not easy to try and learn / get started; (I taught myself when I was still a child)

But I really wish people would stop ... acting like that towards even A.M.V. / vid editors in this fan-base. It just makes it really kind of depressing to want to keep up with making these kinds of things, and I even jump around to variate between characters / series at my liking, but then I'll just see things like that said constantly.

So here's another A.M.V. outline. (If you enjoy the dynamics of the duo, even as friendship, I'd be glad if you took time to watch that one, it was made to be canon-compliant and something even casual fans of them can watch. Though I very much intend it as ship, and hope that can be respected too if you did watch.)

(Note: Tags/replies that are Positive/respectful are OK!)

[minimoefoe]

thoughts while/after reading a court of mist and fury for the first time

split into four sections - things I noted down before I started reading, thoughts I wrote down in the midst of reading, thoughts from after i'd finished read and then thoughts after watching a recap vid

before reading

was on tiktok and a pic came up on my fyp of some girl looking all faerie-like and the text said something like 'we want complex characters' 'you can't even handle her' and I was like whatever but then as I was scrolling away I saw the name nesta in the caption so now I'm like oh this coupled with another thing I saw makes me think her and elain are defo gonna become faeries at some point

while reading

I initially did this by chapter but I couldn't be bothered to keep pausing to write stuff so I split it into parts instead. maybe for the next book I should also write the page I'm on when I'm thinking something so it's easier to look back at idk

italics is stuff I've added after finishing the book

part one

so has she not heard from rhysand bc he's been captured or something

tamlin not acknowledging when feyre is up being sick is kinda nasty like bro she died for you, you could at least hold her hair back fuckin hell (the fact that rhys ends up holding her hair back.. dhmu)

feyre doesn't seem happy at all 😭😭

I actually love that feyre is fucked up by everything that happened I feel like sometimes characters just breeze through things and move on but she is just all round having an awful time

no high ladies? okay sexism

lucien's a what? am I supposed to know bc I literally don't 😭 (I still have no idea so.. idk)

rhysand appearing bc feyre is stressed as hell and doesn't wanna get married I'm crying, he obvs did that on purpose to save her

oh I already know the chapters where feyre is with rhysand are gonna be my faves over the stuff back with tamlin and co (the way it ended being basically the whole book omg I won so hard)

feyre is so real getting pissed off with the payment stuff like just reading that shit wound me up. giving away ur jewellery was maybe not a good idea tho idk. best to really have it out with tamlin later and try to fix it idrk (nvm, doing that saved her ass so)

love how often lucien is just third wheeling and makes 'here we go' type comments when mild drama starts happening he's so funny

the 'this how it's done' argument is dumb as fuck don't piss me off tamlin

locking feyre up oh tamlin you smell so bad I kinda hate you

tamlin actually is doing my nut in like you're 400 years old grow up and have a conversation. having feyre hidden away and never telling her anything is an insane way to try and go about things I hope she leaves ur ass. I get that he’s struggling as well but fuckin hell how embarrassing

part two

rhysand soooo cares for feyre like being worried about not feeling anything through the connection, waiting there while she sleeps, desperate for her to banter with him. he's so interesting I love him. leave tamlin for rhys feyre I know you want to

feyre literally being like yeah I wanna stay with you fuck the spring court is craazy like I'm winning so hard

aw sad back stories

odds on nesta and cassian dating

so like.. feyre is fr done with tamlin huh like for a while I was thinking maybe they'd reuinute at some point or she would spend some time being like idk what to do but nah she's done. love that

the flirting with rhys is getting so much more direct like okayyy

azriel ur vibes intrigue me, I am growing very fond of you

amren kinda freaks me out. I like her but also I'm worried she will turn evil or something

cassien is giving emmett cullen but more serious I can't explain it

the only thing I miss about the spring court is lucien

I like the summer high lord

when are they gonna kiss this is KILLING ME

the fact feyre is thinking about painting again oh she's getting better fr

I take back my worries about amren, l love her vibes

we love a feminist king (I think I was talking about him wanting the girls to be able to train lmao)

we've gone so long without seeing or hearing from tamlin/the spring court that I'm like okay surely they need to see each other again and give us some drama, feyre just being able to leave and that's that feels too simple. tho I guess they got the letter and were like okay not much that can be done?? I was kiinda wondering if they wouldn't believe it was from her bc I wasn't sure if they knew she could write but maybe I'm being dumb (no tamlin is the dumb one, not that I was right but like..)

lucien appearing literally at the end of next chapter lmao I willed it into happening

I was so disappointed when they had to share a room earlier in the book and rhys made a bed appear so they didnt have to share.. they made up for it fr

why didn't feyre feel the mating bond or whatever? bc she isn't familiar with it? bc she's been distracted?

can't decide if she's being too pissed about him not telling her idk like tbh I get why he didn't tell her and for a while it defo wasn't the time. but also I get that being lied to and shut out was a problem she had at the spring court so that kinda thing pisses her off

okay nvm she moved on quick and understood him a bit, I'm glad

I actually hadn't even thought about rhysand and feyre being mates or having mates liike the only time I really thought about mates was the fact tamlin and feyre weren't mates but they were gonna get married so I was like huh what does that mean. but this makes a lot of sense. kinda obsessed

interesting that rhys had vibes she was his mate when she human. is that normal? did he only get those hints bc it was like, fated that she would become a faerie, like have faeries and humans ever been mates????

part three

tamlin you sad evil embarrassing little man !!!!!!

knew her sisters would become faeries

elain being lucien's mate wait that's kinda cute omg they so fit together. I wonder if nesta is cassian's

also like, if elain had never become a faerie would lucien have never found his mate? would he have mated with someone else? would he have still been elain's even tho she was human? can you have more than one mate in your lifetime? I need answers

need lucien to see sense and turn on tamlin idk he seems to know this is insane. liike book 3 give me more lucien I'm BEGGING this is how I win omg

after reading

literally loved it so much

it's kinda wild how I thought the spring court seemed like such a nice place in the first book but now that we've seen all these other places with rhys I'm like omfg how BORING is the spring court fuck that, I'd wanna get out of there too

I love literally everyone that we're supposed to love. feyre, rhys and his whole gang. they're all so interesting

I was missing lucien a little bit and he's the main reason I'm cool with us being back at the spring court

I'm hoping lucien is gonna confront feyre fairly early in book three and she's gonna convince him to stop doing as tamlin says and see sense for like, the greater good but also I'm sure elain being his mate will sway him too

I kiiiinda would love if tamlin lost his mind and went full villain. not that he hasn't lost his mind already but yknow. rn he just feels kinda pathetic and stupid, I want evil vibes idk

I looooooved feyre and rhys' relationship and I loved all the revelations about the bond and stuff. I was simultaneously dying for them to finally get together but also was so obsessed with their vibe and the build to it that I almost didn't want them to finally be together. it was all so good tho like UGH I love them. I think knowing some of that stuff is gonna make book one even more interesting on a reread as well

I'm kinda glad they're apart again ngl bc we all know ships gets boring once they get together and the build up is the best bit so some time apart and a lot of drama will be fun I think

need cassian and nesta to get together. need azriel and mor to get together

there's no gay ppl in these books and I'm wondering how the mating bond situation would work with gay ppl. don’t tell me gay faeries don’t exist omg or what if gay faeries never have mates 😭

I feel like there's no way everyone is gonna survive whatever happens in the next book and like honestly as long as its not feyre rhys or lucien, I'll be sad but it'll be fine. if I had to bet on a death I’d probably say azriel, cassian or mor

azriel > cassian > amren > mor. maybe? idk I love them all

after watching cari can read’s catch up video

I’ve been watching a vid after each book literally bc I wanna sure I had the plot at least mostly understood and also bc I’m very limited to what I can search up to do with these books atm since I don’t wanna spoiled so recap vids are a nice little treat lmao. they do sometimes hint at spoilers tho (like the vid of the first book where she said she couldn’t find fanart of the sisters that wasn’t spoilers so i was like oh they’re probs gonna become faeries) but it’s a risk I’m willing to take

there was a lot of moments where feyre had to say to rhys like hey stop keeping things from me, I didn’t realise it happened so much. and part of me is like hm is that a bit strange like surely after the spring court, him constantly doing that would really get to her but as far as I can remember she gets over it all idfk

the music thing in the first book was so strange to me I was like omg feyre has lost it, so it being explained in this book was cool. I feel like you can tell these books were actually planned out before being published

I’m still not 100% clear on the jurian, miryam etc story like I kinda get it but there’s a lot of names idfk. hopefully I get it enough to understand the next book, or it’s explained recapped in the next book

[andthebubbles]

Well it’s nearly the end of the year and as usual I like to blab something about it before it becomes wtf!2023???

it was a preeeeeeeeetty good year... i had a very chill start, then i got my old (casual) job back, then i got the part-time version of it and my contract goes to the end of next year, which is nice. but already there’s talk that it might be extended, which would be really nice, but i won’t be too cut up about it if it doesn’t happen. though, idk what i’ll do next... but that bridge can be crossed when it comes to it

on june 2 i got my fuckin dream car skjfngkdfjngkfjgnfg i was honestly aiming for the older version with the 1hz engine but my parents were like ‘it’s too old!!’ (wtf lol) and so between us we got the 2015 version... wildddd. it’s really no one else’s dream car, unless you know what it’s about. it rattles and it’s LOUD and it’s bumpy and it has hardly any in-car tech (yay!) and no infotainment system (yay!) and wind up windows (yay!!!) and it’s HUGE and it fits only into 2.4m+ carparks (at least i haven’t dared to try one with 2.3m clearance yet) and it has a turning circle of a.... very small bus.... actually it IS classified as a bus, lol. anyway, i still have a lot to do to it, but that’s what i love about it, and i’m very excited to make it comfy and quiet and my home on wheels, and i should really get started on some of that soon lol.

we alsoooo got aoife the cat :3 she was watching the 9pm fireworks actually, it was sooooo cute. (i think she just likes the lights, and she likes the lights/shadows of the passing car headlights when everyone tries to leave our suburb after each fireworks is over.) she’s also lately a TV addict (she loves those cat tv youtube vids), and she loves the garden and being outdoors and stalking birds. and she’s a really good insect hunter. and she eats cockroaches. gross. she also doesn’t like food much (...) but she looooooves pats. and she loves being called to come, unless she’s busy or asleep. and she goes on car trips with us. actually i can’t believe we’ve only had her since jan 28, it feels a lot longer than that ever since she reached adulthood/the past couple of months. also she has the cutest sweetest meow. and starts crying when we turn the TV off. and cries sometimes if we leave her downstairs LMAO. and she loves other cats and is scared of human strangers, esp ones that enter the house skjfngkg. and she follows us everywhere unless she’s too sleepy. i’ve never had a cat like her, but i hear that maine coons are dog-like, so i guess that’s why.

in other news, my parents are getting old. it’s kinda... well ‘weird’ isn’t the right word, but the balance is changing. we should’ve gotten that car 10 years ago lol. rn i’m the only one who can drive it--although i think my dad can drive it again in a couple of months or so (that’s what he says anyway). but i really need to fix the bumpiness.

oh yeah, job-wise, the best part about it is the driving and picking up stuff, and getting paid for it!! yas

okay, that was like, really all over the place and not even vaguely structured or organised, but what the hell, i’m not writing a fucking essay

also i would like to say that alongside the sound of a lawnmower, the sound of a house party is Right Up There on my list of Most Hated Sounds, ffssssssss

[sixteenthshen]

what i would give to have a-xu sajiaoing with a shoulder nudge and lao wen looking & smiling at the cute 

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel Indycon 2022

The boys are dealing with a bit of a hangover courtesy of their night out; Jensen recommends not riding a scooter, and not trying to take a selfie video while riding them, that if you have to ride one to keep both hands on them. He is btw looking adorable with his hair all tousled. When Jensen was saying that you shouldn’t try to take selfie videos while riding a scooter Jared says he has to post it so here’s hoping he’ll be able to convince Jensen to post the vid 😆

First question is how much of an entourage did Baby get when she was out on location? She had Frank. All productions have a picture car wrangler that's the person that’s in charge of moving the cars around and putting them into position as well as driving them to and from location in their transportation truck, and for spn that person was Frank.

The boys share a story about how one time Frank was driving to put Baby in the trailer but the accelerator got stuck; he jumped a curve and drove into a field trying to stop the car but something was happening with the carburetor and he ended up in a ditch with a broken collarbone. Someone called the boys and told them what had happened and they rushed over, paramedics were already there, and after getting the all clear making sure that it wasn’t a serious injury and the poor man would make a full recovery, Jared told the paramedic that was tending to Frank "don’t try to fix his face it was already fucked up" which cracked Frank and the paramedic up 😂

How were they able to keep a straight face during funny scenes, and what’s the hardest they’ve laughed in an episode? Jared says they weren’t always able to keep a straight face, that there were many scenes that were ruined; an episode that comes to mind is Yellow Fever and that he was also laughing off camera during Eye of the Tiger. Jensen says that sometimes if you look closely you can see a little bit of a break and he mentions the scene of Bela driving off in the ep Bad Day at Black Rock when Dean turns to Sam and says “Son of a bitch!” you can see Jared break and turning away from the camera so it wouldn’t catch him laughing. He says everytime he sees that clip he’s like ‘ha! that’s jared i got him’. x

Asked if they think that if Dean had eaten a bunch of salty food or gargled salt water would it have slowed down his symptoms during Yellow Fever since ghosts don’t like salt, they don’t really have an answer to this they say that it’s a good idea and Jensen says you could do like a hunter brine coating yourself in salt which makes Jared say it would be wonderful cause he’s already so sweet it balances the flavor. Forget hungover they might still be a little bit tipsy because what was this answer 😂

Jensen was asked when Radio Company’s third album is coming out and what are each of his fav songs from either album? Jensen says he doesn’t know and don’t ask him that; Jared tells a story about how one time during s1 of spn his brother and now wife went to visit and Jared introduced him to Jensen and asked Jensen to play guitar and sing a song for his brother. Then Jensen says they’re in the process of getting Vol 3 out but he doesn’t know how soon that’s happening, and favorite song is hard to say that he knows his kids like Cannonball the best. I find it interesting that this question was sort of dodged, but also how jared recounts the story of introducing Jensen and his brother because I swear it seems as if he stops for a second while mentioning the introductions….i don’t know I’ve seen that part a couple times something seems off. All I’m gonna say is that it’s mighty sweet that Jared wanted his brother to see how talented Jensen is, it comes off as very wanting him to make a good first impression to his brother important to get that future brother in law approval. x

In another life if they weren’t actors what would they be? Jared says he would be a teacher. Jensen doesn’t know but whatever it would be it would be something that was continually evolving, he doesn’t think he would do well in a kind of static job like sitting in an office. x

After working together for so long was it easier for them to perform emotional or intense scenes because they knew how to play off each other or was it harder because they could mess each other up easily? Jared says for him it was 100% easier to be vulnerable with someone he trusts, and that oftentimes when there was an emotional scene they’d cut and the two of them would laugh and tease and reset; that for him it was definitely easier to act with someone he knows has his back. Jensen agrees, says that because they have worked together for so long that became an easier note to hit and adds that him and Jared know what each other needs and responds to to get to a place of emotion and even off camera work he knows where Jared is supposed to be so he can level it up a bit to give him something bigger to play off of; that they learned not only about each other but also about themselves and the show and characters gave them ample opportunity to hone that skill.

Says he’ll never forget how when filming Heart, when the day came to shoot Sam's emotional scenes Jared decided to do a tactic some actors do to make them emotional which is think about something from their own life and Jared thought about his dog Sadie dying, and he opted to stay in that headspace for duration of filming so when they yelled cut Jared would sit in the corner marinating in that emotion. And Jensen felt horrible because Jared was a wreck for 6 or 7 hours, and he would have to see Jared be drained of that emotion. That was the last time Jared did that.

Jared also says that spn gave them the opportunity to try different methods, and Jensen mentions that they got to know the characters so well and cared about them so deeply they would get emotional just knowing these characters were going through this, says Dean’s death scene was not acting he was legit emotional about Dean saying goodbye to Sam and he would have to choke back down that emotion and tell himself that he needs to calm down because Dean is not there yet that it was a slow burn x

The last question comes from a fan from Cincinnati which makes Jared say OH and that leads to....a cheer I guess- Jensen was confused and so am I but Jared was so excited x

The fans question was about memorable crew members. They mention a couple of people and that they still talk to a lot of them. Jared says that they are the tip of the iceberg and what people see but both of them are deeply aware that there’s so much that goes on that the crew does and how much they do to push them above the surface. x

J2 Gold Panel

[sour--disposition]

Behind His Back

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harry lewis x fem!reader

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please see my pinned post for masterlists/request info :)

requested: Hello, could you do something where reader is best mates with cal and he brings her to shoots and in vids and such and her and Harry are kinda together but no one knows then someone accidentally outs them thanks !! 🙌🏻

Yours and Cal’s laughter reached the spot that the other guys had picked for filming long before the two of you did, poking and chasing each other as you barrelled through the doors. Cal was joining in on some game that they were filming for moresidemen and he’d dragged you along so you could sit off camera and poke fun at all eight of them.

As soon as you’d fallen into the venue, a bright smile had stretched across Harry’s face. Seeing you as happy and full of life as you were made him impossibly happy, as soppy as it sounded. All he wanted was to wander over and pull you into his arms, maybe surprise you so you let out that funny squeal you did whenever she shocked you.

But he couldn’t.

Although he’d never said it, it was sort of an unwritten rule of Cal’s that you were off limits for any of his friends. Maybe that made it all the more exciting, sneaking around behind your best friend’s back. You knew that it wouldn’t end well, it would either end in heartbreak between you and Harry or anger from Cal. Neither was an outcome you wanted, but one of them was bound to be inevitable.

Ethan had noticed Harry staring at you and was prepared to embarrass his best friend, not knowing that he was one of the only people that knew the truth about yours and Harry’s relationship. “Gonna go give your girlfriend a smooch, Bog?”, Ethan asked, grin as bright as ever as he shoved Harry playfully in your direction.

You and Harry both froze, eyes wide in surprise and fear. The humour drained out of Ethan’s face as he watched yours and Harry’s reactions and a tense atmosphere immediately fell over the group. Even the camera crew looked awkward.

You could see Harry desperately trying to conjure up some sort of excuse for what Ethan had just said. Ethan looked like he would do just about anything to retract his words. But what was said was said and you just had to deal with the consequences.

“What the fuck is he on about?”, Cal asked, voice harsh and angry. His eyes were fixed on Harry, practically pinning him to the spot. “Harry. What the fuck is Ethan on about?”.

“Look, mate-”, Harry started, words getting caught in his throat.

“How could you?”, Freezy spat, voice like venom. He turned to you, looking at you like you’d just taken a knife to his back. “And you?”.

“Don’t be mad at her, Cal”, Harry pleaded, voice desperate.

“I’ll be mad at whoever the fuck I wanna be mad at!”, Cal shouted, making Harry jump and sending a wave of anger coursing through your veins.

“You know what, no”, you started, leaving Cal’s side of the room and walking to stand in between the two of them. “You have no right to be mad. We’re adults. We don’t answer to you. I don’t answer to you”, you stressed.

You could tell that the others in the room had no idea what to do. Guilt was written all over Ethan’s face and varying levels of worry and awkwardness seemed to be spread throughout the rest of the guys. Everyone was following the discussion like a ball in a tennis match.

“I live with him and you’re my best friend, I’m kind of involved in this!”, Cal exclaimed. You mumbled something under your breath that neither Cal or Harry heard, but it only seemed to antagonise Cal more. “What?”, he demanded.

“I’m just saying, last time I checked, it’s not you sneaking me into your apartment, but whatever”, you commented casually.

“Y/N”, Harry warned from behind you, taking a few steps closer to you.

“I’m not going to pick between my best friend and my boyfriend!”, you cemented. “If you’re going to make me pick, you’re making the decision for me”, you told Cal, a finger pointed towards him. “And it won’t go in your favour”, you cautioned.

“You’d pick Harry over me?”, Cal asked, looking genuinely offended. “I’ve known you since we were 12”, he reminded you.

“I love him”, you said, voice suddenly small and shy. “And if you don’t want any part of that, then I don’t know what to tell you”, you shrugged before turning your back and walking out of the venue.

Harry stood stock still. Everything in his body was telling him to chase after you, tell you that he felt the same way, but he couldn’t get his body to move. The shock of Cal finding out and then you telling everyone that you loved him, it left him paralysed.

“Is anyone gonna go after her?”, Vik asked, eyes tearing between Harry and Cal.

“I’ll go”, Harry and Freezy said at the same time.

“She won’t wanna see you right now, mate… In the nicest way possible”, Harry told his friend, leaving him no time to answer before following you out of the venue and finding you a few feet away, sat on a bench.

“Hey”, Harry said, catching your attention. He sat down next to you, forearms resting on his thighs as he leaned forwards. “That could’ve gone better”, he whispered, pulling a sardonic laugh from you.

“You think”, you snorted.

“I love you, too”, Harry blurted, barely giving you time to finish your sentence.

Before you had a chance to say or do anything in response, Cal was stalking away from the venue doors and towards the two of you. “Cal-”, you started.

“Look”, he sighed. “I reacted badly. I shouldn’t have gotten angry, alright”, he huffed. “I was just caught off guard, I had no idea”, he defended.

“That was sort of the point”, you chuckled. “Because we were worried about what you’d say”, you explained. “Or that you’d react like this”.

Harry sat still beside you, always unsure of what to do or say when it came to disagreements between you and Cal, and it was only made worse by the fact that he was in the middle of the situation. He let his hand leave his lap and join yours, squeezing around your fingers supportively.

“Nothing I say is gonna make this go away?”, Cal asked, face pulled with pain.

“No”, you said simply, a sense of finality settling in your voice. “If you love me enough to be worried about Harry hurting me, then you love me enough to let me love Harry”, you told him gently. “And, in the nicest way possible, it really has nothing to do with you”.

Cal sat down next to you, a heavy sigh leaving his chest as he sunk into the bench. “I feel like I should’ve seen this coming”, he complained.

“To be honest, mate, you really are clueless”, Harry chuckled from beside you.

“How long have you been together?”, Cal asked you, looking up at you from his dejected slump.

“Officially, almost three months”, you told Cal.

“Unofficially?”, he asked warily.

“Nearly six”, you admitted.

“How did I not realise?”, Cal groaned, dropping his head against the backrest of the bench. “I can’t believe I missed it”.

“We were really good at hiding it”, Harry shrugged. “It was like mission impossible to be honest, you made everything quite inconvenient”, he jibed, earning him a swat over the head from Cal.

“At least I never heard you shagging”, Cal sighed. His eyes went wide as a silence fell over you and Harry, a smirk threatening to peak through onto your lips. “Are you fucking kidding me!?”, he exclaimed, almost jumping up out of his seat.

“Yeah, none of those one night stands were one night stands”, Harry mumbled as he itched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, and all”. You could see Cal cringing, knowing that he’d heard his two best friends have sex with each other couldn’t have been a fun thought to have running through his mind.

“If you excuse me, I am off to pour acid into my ears”.