#trying to understand

[blondebrainpowered]

Coraline, 2009

[illyrianbitch]

You nailed what I imagine az's mind to work. Just anticipating letting people down and accepting when he does it without properly thinking that HES HURTING THEM. I love my dumb idiot you are so real for that part

hahaha im glad you think so!!! that’s literally all i was thinking abt bc i don’t think people realize that sometimes your inability to believe you’re lovable/worthy can hurt the people who do, in fact, love you

cuz az is just like yeah i know i suck, this was bound to happen, she hates me and ill just leave her alone forever womp womp. stupid lil sad boy

[oppsmuse]

11:11

‎It's 11; should I walk down the bridge and pray that you'll get me out of this mess?

This cyclone is killing me;

I'm dizzy being spun this much.

Just make it clear: am I a kid or anything adult?

Because if not, tell me, please;

This is killing me,

And if not,

Oh, you know what to do... hide things and expect me to get down from the spinning cyclone.

‎

[judesmoonbeauty]

The hell are you acting so surprised for, Bruh??? After what you just did?

[lightinlimbo]

I hate looking into autism and schizotaxia because psychologists both treat them as opposites with opposite treatments, even saying things like autistic traits "protecting" against schizophorenia. But then also saying that if you're autistic you're more prone to psychosis and that there is significant overlap between things like ASD and STPD. Making things confusing being like "ASD and schizotaxia are opposites and cannot coexist and their treatments must be opposite. Except autistic people are more prone to being schizotaxic but schizotaxic people are not more prone to being autistic". It's so confusing, especially when like. They mention enhanced sensory sensitivity being a "protection" against schizophrenic symptoms but our higher sensory sensitivity ties directly into us experiencing what seems to be STPD or at the least incredibly close to it. Like experiencing sensory overload and getting very delusional about it even if we logically know it's sensory overload (double bookkeeping) pretty regularly and not in an episodic way. What about us both being very literal and very metaphoric in our thinking both making communication more difficult co existing with each other even though things like hyper- and hypo-mentalism being supposedly opposite. Are we freaks? Are we misinterpreting one as the other? Is any of this research even still going to be accurate in 10 or so years considering ASD and schizophrenia were originally considered the fucking same not all that long ago and now they're treated as polar opposites despite others we've met who seem to experience both? WTF happens then?

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[theboxfort]

Peace and love

[exhaustedpigion]

An Arbor The world’s a world of trouble, your mother must                          have told you                   that. Poison leaks into the basements and tedium into the schools. The oak                          is going the way                of the elm in the upper Midwest—my cousin earns a living by taking the dead ones                          down.                And Jason’s alive yet, the fair- haired child, his metal crib next                          to my daughter’s.              Jason is one but last saw light five months ago and won’t see light again.                                                   · Leaf against leaf without malice                         or forethought,             the manifold species of murmuring harm. No harm intended, there never is.                         The new             inadequate software gets the reference librarian fired. The maintenance crew turns off power one                                  weekend             and Monday the lab is a morgue: fifty-four rabbits and seventeen months of research.                         Ignorance loves              as ignorance does and always holds high office.     · Jason had the misfortune to suffer misfortune                       the third           of July. July’s the month of hospital ro- tations; on holiday weekends the venerable                       stay home.           So when Jason lay blue and inert on the table and couldn’t be made to breathe for three-and-a-                   quarter hours,             the staff were too green to let him go. The household gods have abandoned us to the gods                      of juris-          prudence and suburban sprawl. The curve of new tarmac, the municipal pool,                      the sky at work          on the pock-marked river, fatuous sky, the park where idling cars, mere yards                      from the slide          and the swingset, deal beautiful oblivion in nickel bags: the admitting room and its stately drive,                      possessed             of the town’s best view.                                                  · And what’s to become of the three-year-old brother?                      When Jason was found             face down near the dogdish—it takes just a cupful of water to drown—                    his brother stood still          in the corner and said he was hungry and said that it wasn’t his fault.                      No fault.          The fault’s in nature, who will without system or explanation                    make permanent          havoc of little mistakes. A natural mistake, the transient ill-will we define                    as the normal          and trust to be inconsequent, by nature’s own abundance soon absorbed.                                                      · Oak wilt, it’s called, the new disease.                    Like any such          contagion—hypocrisy in the conference room, flattery in the halls—it works its mischief mostly                    unremarked.             The men on the links haven’t noticed yet. Their form is good. They’re par.                    The woman who’s          prospered from hating ideas loves causes instead. A little shade, a little firewood.                    I know          a stand of oak on which my father’s earthly joy depends. We’re slow                    to cut our losses.

Linda Gregerson - "An Arbor" From - The Woman Who Died in Her Sleep

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[agloe99]

Credo oggi si intendano poco le persone come soggetti in divenire ma più come meri oggetti vittime di concetti più o meno articolati

[buniveree]

“Just leave them alone and move on please.” -something I nag in my brain a lot.

When thinking of people from my past who left me extremely puzzled and confused. Only to realize I was their scapegoat for tense situations or people that they don’t want to be attached to anymore. And it sucks because you just want to know why they just hated you? I’m sure I’ve been oblivious to my own actions and reactions…but to like have been such a good friend to me, and then to just use me as a bad guy in your story line is a little disheartening? I wish I could just let them know without being bothersome to them, but you can’t force someone to like you back. You can’t, take back the way you make have reacted or felt about things.

But you can come to understand one another and where their position is from. Though they use their tragedy’s as excuses for their behavior instead of growing past it. The amount of friends they’re surrounded by, some of which used to be mine separately from them. Is it that they want to hear they’ve won? That I am the bad guy? Obviously to be left alone. But I can’t even talk to people I was actually friends with because of rumors and hate that they’ve spread about me.

And to be blamed for the actions of someone they used to date by their entire friend group. Who was told by said person “I don’t know them.” This person reached out to them and their family begging to be “loved again by them” and we never had a romantic relationship like that. But somehow I know this stranger who and I’m sending willy nilly love notes.

I’m writing this here to get it off my chest, even though it will never be out of my mind. I can only practice trying to forget or ignore it.

I appreciated who they were but at some point they just…started using me, lying about me and making me out to be a bad guy in their narrative. I never once threatened them, I wasn’t mean to them. And yet whenever we hung out, it was usually about them, it was they were always going through something (which is okay). They were controlling to a disgusting amount. Not letting people suggest places to go or eat. Or even where their friend/roommate could and couldn’t work or drive to.

What I took from this friendship was;

1.Trusting people for me is easy, but knowing them is a little harder.

2.I was in an erratic time in my life. And so were they. My partner ended up in a coma just days after the falling out, but they had their own personal things going on and I should have not confided in them so much and given them the space and support they truly deserved.

3. No matter what someone will have a wrong outlook on you, whether it’s from hatred or because they don’t understand. Of course there are those who will have a good outlook on you. But for those negative ones…Therese no way to change their perspective.

4.You can’t force someone to like you.

5.You can’t force the others in that friend group to understand. Or even remotely ask for your side.

6.Sometimes they will only hear one side and that’s enough for them.

7. And that’s okay, because you can find new and more respectable and positive people.

8.I don’t want to message them anymore asking what I did wrong or try to understand their anger. I want to leave them alone and I want to forget about the people I felt left me? It’s kinda hard when your partner attempts offing, ends up in a coma, and then you look for anyone, not even them, but your other friends to confide in and you have no one.

9. But we push through and we try to make it better. Here’s to a new year! 2025 should be full of me sharing my characters and writings and webcomic plans or animatics!

I want to overcome this aching headache of memories and simply start fresh with sharing some art work to help with this case.

First is going to be ScapeGoat (a horror illustration probably)

And the second is going to be Acceptance(a self portrait or something else I can come up with)

[donnieisaprettyboy]

can we stop pretending like it’s so super easy for trans men to pass. “oh just put on a baggy shirt and cut your hair-“ it literally doesn’t work like that and I refuse to believe you actually think it’s that easy

[xenonreality]

My first thoughts & reactions on Vangelinaskov's video about Bonnie Blue.

[noodles-and-tea]

Last part whoo!!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

[7loveneverfails]

Trying to discuss politics with some on the mommy boards.

It's actually not going as poorly as I thought.

It's utterly lacking logic and reason, but it's civil.

It's interesting to see how they explain that Trump says violent things (they quoted some jokes he made that just sound like jokes guys make) and therefore someone got violent and tried to kill him.

Because it isn't a justification of violence to say he is racist, just like Hitler and an existential threat to democracy.

Which, I guess I understand. It's hard to take part in speech like that and then turn around and condemn it. It makes sense to them and they think, well, I would never try to kill him therefore no one would.

Except also any white person is just waiting to hurt and oppress anyone not like them.

So since the shooter was white, the logic holds. 🤔