#tryingtobereal

[jennhope12-blog]

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A post shared by Boldly Jenn (@boldly_jenn)

It’s so hard to explain a trigger or how to talk around me. It’s hard to explain the fear and pain I feel all the time.... and when the ones you love just don’t get it or try to get it it makes this journey 100% harder. I’m so alone in my mess.... #feelingalone #nobodygetsit #justwanttobehappy #bpd #bpdisorder #depressivedisorder #ptsd #mentalillnesswarrior #mentallyill #hardday #invisibleillness #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtobereal #mystory #sharingmystory #revovery #depressionsucks #exhausted #emotional #fallingapart

[jennhope12-blog]

#bpdthoughts #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderproblems #bpdmom #bpdblogger #bpdwarrior #boldlybpd #quotes #truth #tryingtobereal #myexpirience #feelthis #mentallyill #mentalhealth #mentalillness #invisibleillness #yournotalone

[jennhope12-blog]

This disorder hurts those we love,most times unintentionally but sometimes not! It’s hard knowing you’ve become someone your not or don’t feel like, it’s hard to know youve hurt people. This disorder is hard but mental illness is hard. I’m trying, learning and growing. It’s painful and my heart aches to be better but it’s a journey a long ass one..... acknowledgedment is a good step, and oh boy I’ve been doing lots of that!! #mentallyill #mentalbattle #mentalhealth #bpd #bpdmom #boldlybpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalityrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorderproblems #yournotalone #invisibleillness #learning #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtobereal #emotional #fighting #sharingmystory #blogger #vlogger #mother #writer #acknowledgeispower

[jennhope12-blog]

Job interview tomorrow, I feel like I've had a few of those this year and that's not normal for me. I'm having a hard time juggling being a responsible parent , adult and being stuck in a child like immaturity..... I know I need to work to take care of my family to keep a sense of being a human. But I can't say I don't wish I could just stay home do therapy and fix me. It's a hard balance I'm still trying to figure out.... but here's hoping this new opportunity will be just enough I can do it and not be overwhelmed. I hate letting myself and people down. #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtoadult #adulting #mentallyill #mentalillness #bpd #bpdproblems #fighting #fighter #invisibleillness #responsibility #blogger #vlogger #mother #wife #poet #findingmyself #mystory #myexpirience

[jennhope12-blog]

Medication upped in dosage, so I guess we shall see. But it's hard cause my doctor just isn't educated in this area and so it's like I'm learning with her and that's a bit aggravating, I know she means well and she's trying. I just know I need more then meds I need therapy and stuff. I'm not doing good and I just hate that I feel I have to be in the hospital to be heard. Why should it take me being that ill, that defeated. But on goes the battle..... I just want to feel better. #mentallyill #mentalbattle #mentalillness #boldlybpd #bpd #bpdthoughts #fighter #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #medication #learning #education #blogger #vlogger #mystory #myexpirience #sharingmystory #advocate #invisibleillness #yournotalone

[jennhope12-blog]

Love is hard, for everyone!!! But add mental illness and well it feels hopeless. I mean who would want to be with someone that falls apart all the time, someone that is a different person day to day?? It's hard. And we look for reasons for things to be wrong, for reasons to push away or not trust. We sabotage everything else in our life so of course we would in love too. But it is out there and it is possible. I've been with my hubby for 19 years and I promise bpd and mental illness were not on the agenda when he signed up. But it's part of me and he loves me so even though we fight, he doesn't understand sometimes doesn't want to. Even though it hurts him and he wants me to just be ok. Even though there's a million reasons to leave he chooses to stay. And Ive felt that feeling of ill never find someone, I'll never find love... I really did. But I was wrong and when I stopped looking it found me. It's not easy or pretty but it's possible!! Don't give up!!! Love is somewhere for you!❤️#mentallyill #mystory #mentalillness #bpd #bpdwarrior #bpdthoughts #boldlybpd #fighter #advocate #foundlove #canhappen #yournotalone #vlogger #blogger #invisibleillness #possibilities #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #learning #sharingmystory #myexpirience

[jennhope12-blog]

I'm finding myself, she's a helper, a healer a ear to listen a voice for the voiceless a fighter. She wants you to know your not alone, she wants to end stigma and start conversations. I'm finding who I am, and she's very diffrent from who I was or pretended to be or was turned into by circumstance. She owns her illness, her imperfections and she's working on herself...... I'm sure I like her already.... yup I think I'm finding myself! #bpd #bpdthoughts #boldlybpd #mentallyill #mentalbattle #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #advocate #yournotalone #beingreal #learning #talking #sharingmystory #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #findingmyself #findingmyway #fighter #survivor #blogger #vlogger #poet #yegvlogger#invisibleillness #sicknotweak

[jennhope12-blog]

Mentally ill, female and having weight issues = endless battle. Your depressed already , struggle with self esteem and energy already and than you hate to look at yourself. Your not what you feel you should look like, what the world says you should look like and that's hard already but then we will focus on it more, fixate on it. Causing more issues. Ugh, so along with healing and educating myself on my bpd I shall fight this battle of weight. And not to be perfect whatever that is but to be healthy. #mentallyill #mentalbattle #mentalillness #mybattle #bpd #boldlybpd #females #weightissues #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #yournotalone #invisibleillness #selfesteem #fighting #advocate #vlogger #blogger

[jennhope12-blog]

BoldlyBPD... just me a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter and mental illness warrior. Some days I smile, most days I don’t. Being the best me I can be while navigating my recovery. I write my truth I blog my journey. Sharing is how we start the change that’s needed in this world as far as mental health and mental illness. Thank you for sharing my journey with me!! #mentalillnesswarrior #mentalillness #mentallyill #mother #woman #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthawareness #deppresivedisorder #depressionwarrior #stigmafighter #sharingmystory #boldlybpd #bpdwarrior #borderlinepersonality #borderlinelife #yegblogger #vlogger #yegvlogger #writer #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtobereal #honesty #survivor #recovery

[jennhope12-blog]

Not selfish, angers me when I’m told I am. In any way. I’m the one that comes last, my kids first,my husband first, my loved ones first..... everyone before me. It’s just always been that way.... yet I’ve been told how selfish I am how self absorbed. I don’t get it, maybe I’ll understand one day but for now just pisses me off... hurts my feelings. #mythoughts #mybpdthoughts #boldlybpd #bpd #borderlinepersonality #othersfirst #helper #giving #dontgetit #mentalillnesswarrior #blogger #mentalillnessblogger #borderlineblogger #learning #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtobereal #myfeelings

[jennhope12-blog]

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A post shared by Boldly Jenn (@boldly_jenn)

I’m emotionally exhausted, went to my first support meeting and even not talking I spent the hour bawling. I was triggered way more then anyone should be and I was in awe of the bravery these people had, so honest. I’m not there yet, I’m not ready yet but I can see the long term benefits so I will return and give more of a shot than I usually would..... I’ll be able to talk about the hard stuff eventually.... just not today! #firstmeeting #supportgroup #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalbattle #learning #recovery #mystory #myexpirience #emotional #exhausted #tryingtobereal #tryingtogetbetter #tryingtoadult #fightingstigma #yegblogger #vlogger #writer #borderlinepersonalityrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorderproblems #borderlinepersonality #bpd #boldlybpd #stepsforward

[jennhope12-blog]

Really feel this WAY to often! I know you probably do too. I’m trying so hard to do the whole if they left then screw them, their loss!! But fresh it’s hard, my mind says the opposite! Like they should leave and run I’m crazy toxic and bad for you! Brain games.... ugly dark voice winning most days! #mentalillnessawareness #mentallyill #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorderproblems #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #wordsthatresonate #tryingtobereal #yournotalone #feeling #selfloathing #workinghard #wayofthinking #toxic #mentalbattle #mentalillness #emotional #howithink

[jennhope12-blog]

It’s lonely being toxic to people. I’m desperately needing connection. Yet I’m far to fearful to put effort into people. #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #bpdwarrior #bpd #boldlybpd #yournotalone #invisibleillness #friendship #toxic #longingforconnection #mentallyill #mentalillness #tryingtobereal #trustissues #abandonmentissues #howdoyoumakefriendsasanadult #fighting #myexpirience #mystory #sharingmystory #blogger #vlogger #writer #wordsspeak

[jennhope12-blog]

She try’s to sleep. A wanting and a need to let go and just be at rest. It never lasts long...but it always starts so peacefully!! Sleep well my friends!! #mentallyill #mentalbattle #mentalillness #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #boldlybpd #sleeping #tryingtobereal #learning #yournotalone #invisibleillness #sweetdreams #tryingtorest #slumber #blogger #vlogger #poet #writer #mom #wife #fighter