#tw: Eating Disorder mention

[fatandlikeitlikethat]

Some of you might have noticed this new term being thrown around on Tiktok (maybe other platforms too) but "almond mom" is just literally someone who has a severe eating disorder and was raised+brain washed by diet culture and they usually force it on their kids/others.

I would rather die than live the way this woman lives. This is only one video, but it's very telling. It infuriates me because you just know she probably gave shit to her kid for eating "so much" growing up. That type of person never shuts the fuck up about calories and shit.

(had to screen record because I could not dowload the video)

[raging-violets]

"Please never do that again." + dealers choice!

Big Time Rush: Life on the Line | Prompt | Logan Mitchell and Rhuben Jackson-McGuire (OC)

Authored by: Rhuben

A/N: SOOOO sorry it took so long to get this one done. The idea for it came very very recently. Really had no idea how to end this one, but here it is! Set during Big Time Cameo

otp prompt: protectiveness | Prompt List

“What’s everyone saying?” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea if I show you.”

“Logan, please.”

“You just got home!” 

Rhuben let out a huff-sigh of annoyance. Partly in response to the push back, and partially in annoyance at the lackadaisical way the chair Logan was settled in slowly rocked from side to side as he pushed himself. As if none of this was a big deal.

Logan let out a quiet sigh in response. He watched her pensively as she shifted from one seated position on her bed, to stretching out her legs, to pulling one knee up tapping the mattress with the sole of her sock-covered foot, to sitting cross-legged. Even in her own bedroom, in her own home, she couldn’t get comfortable.

“I have to know. You know I’ll find out eventually.” She had figured the second she got back home from inpatient, she’d be brought into her dad’s office for a meeting on the plan for damage control. But, no.

It was all hugs (an exuberant “Yayyy” from Sydney as he pushed through his brothers and sister) the usual sibling needling, and laughs. She needed that, and wanted it, more than she thought she would for someone who was barely away from home for a week. Truth be told, she hadn’t ever been away from her family for more than two days at most. Perks of being in a family band. And liking being around her family. (For the most part. Patrick did test that pretty often.)

But sooner rather than later, she’d have to face reality. Noah had slipped a quiet “They’re talking about you” into her ear the next morning, miming holding his cell phone as they sat at the breakfast table. She had only nodded in response.

“Paps are starting to line up at the gate,” her dad had announced shortly after as he sat down at the head of the table. “Security’s making sure not to let anyone in unless they’re an approved guest.” 

“Great.” Rhuben had given the only verbal in response as her brothers and sister nodded.

Paps. Did you hear him? Paps. At our front door. Because of what you did! 

Logan had thought he had given her and her family enough time and privacy before going to visit. There was some sort of energy that was off that he could feel as he stepped into the Jackson-McGuire home. It was as noisy and crazy as usual, but there was just something in the air that struck him as soon as he stepped over the threshold. The questions had started the second he had released her from his hug, his “Welcome home” barely out of his mouth.

“Gustavo and your dad have bene talking; they’re figuring it out,” Logan explained, still twisting in the chair. “It’s ok.”

“How’s Dara?” Logan’s lips shifted upwards into a slight, sad smile. Rhuben was always thinking about others, something he really liked about her. But it was always at the expense of herself. And she was thinking about herself, as recent events have shown, it wasn’t always in a nice way.

“She’s ok. She’s safe. The conditions of the Coco.0 set are being looked into.”

“And your cameo?”

“It’s ok.”

Rhuben grabbed her pillow and hugged it to her chest. “Logan!” she said, sharply, in contrast to the pout that was coming to her face. She blinked her blue eyes at him. It was the same look her older brother had taught her to give to their parents whenever they wanted to attempt to get what they wanted. A lot of the time, it worked, too.

Logan stopped twisting in her desk chair and stretched his arms above his head. His chest lifted with a deep inhale, and upon exhaling he crossed his arms over his chest. And crossed his legs at the ankles. “We’re getting some blowback about it.”

Bingo.

Her cheeks puffed up with a heavy sigh. She pressed her lips together and grabbed fistfuls of her pillow before flinging it at the wall in a hard strike. “God…damn it!”

“Hey, stop.” Logan pulled himself out of her chair and quickly crossed the room to sit beside her on her bed. He reached out his hand and took Rhuben’s, gently squeezing it. “Fans are still excited that we have a cameo on Coco.0. And they’re excited for the new song.”

He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from rattling off everything swirling around in his head that he could find out about eating disorders. He had made that mistake after initially finding out about the Jacksons’ abuse and thinking he was helping by quoting facts, statistics, and literature to her. He wanted to be a doctor; he just wanted to be knowledgeable and have good bedside manners. And as her friend, he wanted her to know he cared.

Rhuben fought the urge to pull her hand out of his grasp. She could feel her body tensing up, her upper lip curling slightly. She didn’t deserve any of his softness or support. She had put his career in jeopardy. And Dara’s, too.

“It’s okay,” Logan insisted in her silence.

“Stop saying ‘it’s ok’,” she all but snapped. “I hate that.”

It was just as annoying as “How are you?” She had a breakdown. How did everyone think she was? And it was all said in the same soft tone, with the same stupid soft look in their eyes and ugh! It was all just so…nice. As if everyone was worried she really was as fragile as glass. Hadn’t she proven, despite everything she had been through over the years, that she was strong? Adaptable? Capable?

“But it is.”

“No, it’s not!” Rhuben pulled her knees to her chest. She pulled her hand out of Logan’s to wrap her arms around her knees, she lifted a thumb to her mouth and started biting down on the nail. “This is...” Rhuben shook her head, her words dying on her lips.

Unacceptable. 

Unprofessional 

Your outburst was inexcusable. 

That voice could’ve been harsher. It had always used to be harsher in the past. Always lurking at the back of her mind, waiting to jump out and tell her exactly what she was doing wrong, or how she wasn’t good enough. Always at just the right time. She didn’t know when, but at some point that voice had changed. It was no longer the deep, sneering, low drawl of Robert. Now it was too much like her own voice. Or maybe it had always been that way, feeding off of Robert’s words, and now that he was gone, it was just making itself heard.

Logan frowned, watching the crease that formed between Rhuben’s eyebrows as she fell silent. Watched how her eyes squinted slightly. How, at the same time, her face went blank. He recognized that look now. It was one that came to her face when the intrusive thoughts were starting in. When she became calculating. When, if she wasn’t stopped fast enough, her thoughts could take her into a tailspin.

“A blip. That’s all. Just a blip,” Logan reassured her, messing with a thread on he bedspread. “You know how quickly these things blow over. Look at all that stuff with Gustavo and Belgium. No one really remembers any of that happened.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “We’re all more worried about you than our cameo. Ok?”

Rhuben shook her head. “No,” she said flatly. “Not ok.” It was impossible to ignore how small she felt. Embarrassed. She embarrassed herself, her family, everyone that worked at Phoenix Records, Big Time Rush, Roque Records, and the producers at CoCo.0 to boot.

Logan sighed through his nose, feeling his shoulders drop. Both with the weight of sympathy for his friend and frustration of not knowing what to say. Or how to say it. Or what was even the right thing to say right now. In a way, he could understand it; the embarrassment of Gustavo’s slip up with Belgium, not to mention their gaffe with the pitched reality show, and the bad press with the proposed idea that Lucy’s angry-rock songs were about Kendall; Carlos allegedly taking his anger out his anger on older women; and Logan’s affinity for robbing older women. Only James managed a scandal that put eyes on the band in a good way.

“Just…please, never do that again,” Logan said quietly.

Rhuben scoffed through her nose. “Which part?” she asked, flickering her blue eyes towards him. “The not eating part? The not telling anyone part? Or the disappearing part?”

“All of it.” He had gone over the past years so many times. How hadn’t he noticed? He could spot a developing cold or flu from a mile away for crying out loud. Or had he become more caught up in the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle that he lost sight of his dream? Or was it just so normal in Los Angeles, New York, and this industry, to keep in top shape, and eat the right thing and follow the right diet, that he didn’t notice? Or maybe he didn’t want to see it. Or was he still annoyed that James knew before him? And he was supposed to be her best friend.

Or as was the case as he came to find out in his readings, is that it all came down to the fact that she didn’t want anyone to notice.

He bobbed his head back and forth. “The blowup part wasn’t that great, either.”

It had really come out of nowhere, and just at quickly had finished. In the silence following, the Jacksons quickly left the set, and went low contact with everyone just as fast. No call backs, texts weren’t responded to, and for a family that usually had everyone around to their home, they weren’t wanting any visitors, either.

The incident. Six million views. Across all platforms. Because she forgot that everyone had cell phones glued to their hands.

Her lips pressed into a tight line.

Often, she’d been told she was too clinical, her humor too dry, smiles too rare. That’s just how she was at work. No nonsense. Get work done now and play hard later. Her mind was usually just on her work. Others thought she was an ice queen. Or a bitch if they were more blunt. And, boy, was she blunt when telling Dara’s stepmother everything that was wrong about her and how controlling she was.

Los Angeles was where dreams came true. And Rhuben did whatever she could to help her and her siblings reach that dream. To be the best. To go as far as they could with their music the way they wanted. No one would take that away from them. And she wouldn’t let anyone take it away from her friends. It was born out of protectiveness; she couldn’t sit by watching another rising star get their dreams crushed and ground into dirt before it even had the opportunity to be thought up. Especially not by an overbearing, evil, witch of a step-mother like Dara’s. She had spent enough years witnessing that kind of treatment first-hand and she wasn’t going to stand by and watch an up-and-coming star like Dara Washington’s exuberance get ground into the dust before she even had a chance in the industry.

Rhuben hum-laughed. That was just how she was. She made sure everyone else was ok. She got her work done. She did everything to the best of her ability. She did everything as close to perfect as she could make it. She met every deadline and expectation thrown at her. All the while keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself until it came out in one blow up of carefully crafted words and anger. She didn’t want anyone outside of family to know she was in treatment, not even her closest friends.

“Sorry, Logie, I can’t promise you that.”

Logan grabbed the abandoned pillow and hugged it to his own chest. “Which part?” he asked, starting to play with the tag on the side.

“Any of it.”

Logan let out a low chuckle. “Yeah, didn’t think you could. Not now, anyway. I mean that what therapy is for, right? To get you to that point?”

“And outpatient treatment,” Rhuben agreed with a nod. She unfolded herself and settled back into the rest of her pillows, crossing her arms over her chest. She swallowed, staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, got it in one. Something like that, anyway. It’ll be all about how not meeting expectations isn’t failing, and that no one will think less of me if things aren’t perfect. How to not get sucked in by all the pressure.”

Logan silently nodded. That he could understand. That overwhelming pressure that had been on and off ever since he, Kendall, James, and Carlos got to Los Angeles. The right songs had to be put on the album in the right order with the right person singing the right part to make a great album. Then their marketing strategy had to be top notch; interviews, television appearances, social media posts, collaborations, cameos. On and on and on. Doing more and more and more for the chance at fame.

Sometimes Logan wondered if it all was worth it; doing whatever you could for an industry that didn’t love you as much as you loved it. As he looked over at Rhuben’s solemn expression, he knew when it came to people in his life, it always was.

-

Tag List: @partiallypearl

[muffinrecord]

I’m really surprised that so many people dislike Ria’s doppel? I thought Aimi’s was really boring but I actually love Ria’s. It really gives off this uncomfortable vibe of... idk, dysmorphia of some sort. Yachiyo’s spears at the end REALLY make me wish we had a doppel unlock story. I want Ria to doppel in front of Yachiyo and Yachiyo to be like... “why are my spears here? Did I traumatize you?”

Like... Ria made a wish to look different and was inspired by her favorite model. It’s hard not to draw Eating Disorder parallels there, and when her doppel is changing form and made up of mostly empty space... to the point that Ria isn’t even in it... It feels kind of sad and depressing. idk.

I do wish that we could see the prototype doppel cause I remember seeing the ribbon forming and thinking “huh, wonder what that is about,” but I like the doppel a lot as it is.

Aimi’s on the other hand is forgettable and sucks. Sorry Aimi.

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 22

Chapter 22 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, Chrissy comes to an understanding about herself and Steve is there for her, while the others find a way out of the Upside Down for them. Though Nancy is attacked by Vecna on their way out.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: general season 4 shenanigans, injury, internalized homophobia/biphobia mention, eating disorder mention

~~~~

Chapter 22: The Trailer Gate

They enter the Wheeler house, the now familiar living space covered in vines as the dust particles float around, adding to the ominous atmosphere. Steve is so grateful for Robin breaking the tension with: “Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler.”

Both Chrissy and Steve snort softly and make eye contact. A bit of understanding passes between them, the affection for Robin that they share, odd comments and all.

“Come on, I don’t want to stay longer than we have to,” Nancy says, ignoring Robin all together as she walks up the stairs.

Robin and Eddie automatically go to follow her, since that’s all they have done this entire time, but Steve doesn’t really feel up to climbing those stairs, so he drops on a vine-less kitchen chair and lets out a deep breath, only to look up and meet Chrissy’s eyes.

“You okay?” he asks her, not really having had the time to do that with everything that has been going on. He can see that something is bothering her.

Chrissy looks around to see if anyone is there, piano music coming softly from the headphones around her neck, which had luckily survived the dive by being stuffed into another plastic bag, which had been littering the boat. She softly asks: “How did you know you- uhm, that you liked boys?”

A rush of excitement goes through Steve at the question. Watching Chrissy interact with Robin these past few days has already made him suspect something, but he’s thrilled Chrissy trusts him enough to bring it up.

However, he doesn’t want to scare her away, so as casual as he can, he answers: “I mean, it wasn’t easy, but when I stopped wanting to be King Steve, I realized how much I had to force myself to do the things I was expected to do for girls, you know. They didn’t really do it for me. And then I started noticing how boys did give me the feelings the others would talk about when talking to girls, which kind of sucked, not gonna lie.”

“It sucked?” Chrissy asks, small frown coming on her usually bright and happy face.

“Not that it was bad,” Steve quickly assures her. “Just, you know, I really struggled with it. You know that. You and Robin have been worrying about me for months now. I got over it, I promise, all better now.”

That is partially a lie, but Chrissy doesn’t have to know that, especially when it gets a smile out of her. Besides, ever since his talk with Eddie, Steve has been feeling better about it again. Just getting his fears validated and being forgiven by the one he hurt really helped. That and having it confirmed how he is never going to fit in with Nancy coming onto him.

Beyond the smile, however, Chrissy stays quiet. It’s contemplative, as if she doesn’t dare speak the words she is trying to find. Gently Steve prompts: “Is there a reason you’re asking, Chris?”

Chrissy tenses slightly and Steve wants to reach out to her, but is unsure if it’s welcome. Then she reaches out to him first, gently sitting down on his lap, careful with his wounds as she sighs: “I’m a so confused, Stevie.”

“Want to tell me about it?” he asks her, trying to be as careful and kind as he can as he loops his hands around her waist and holds her close.

“I just- I have always liked boys, you know. I got all the fluttery happy feelings about them. Still do,” she tells him. “I- I just also get these feelings about this girl. And I’m almost sure that I like this girl, but I don’t want to be wrong, because I could just be mistaken, because I do still like boys and I’m afraid I’ll hurt her.”

Steve desperately wants to ask her if it’s Robin. He is so sure that it is Robin, but Chrissy isn’t mentioning a name and he isn’t going to push, especially not when she’s being so vulnerable with him. He can’t imagine if anyone had pushed him when he was still in his embarrassing crush on Jonathan phase.

So, instead he holds her closer, uncaring how it hurts and whispers: “It’s okay to figure yourself out and be confused about it. It’s scary and it’s hard. I know. You just gotta trust that you know your own feelings and try to figure out what you like. If you like boys and girls that’s fine.”

“Boys and girls?” Chrissy asks, looking up from where she’d hidden her face in the crook of his neck. “You can do that?”

“I mean, I don’t know,” Steve answers honestly, then cracks a small grin. “But we’re in an alternate dimension, so I’m pretty sure we can make up our own rules, don’t you think?”

“Thanks, Stevie,” she says, a warm smile coming on her face. After witnessing her ghostly self these past few weeks, he is just so glad to see her happy again. Both her and Max have visibly bettered ever since they put their music on and it’s such a relief.

“No problem,” he promises her. “I’m always here for you.”

Before Chrissy can say something, the echo of a voice wisps through the room and Steve perks up immediately, scanning for danger. Chrissy is also looking around.

“Did you hear that?” she asks, probably just in case she is hallucinating again.

“Yeah, I did,” Steve replies, still looking around as he gently guides her off his lap, getting out of the chair as well.

He lift his bat, preparing himself to swing at whatever is there as the two of them look around. Their backs are against each other, so nothing can sneak up on them. Steve wants to call out to the others to ensure they’re safe, but he doesn’t want to alert whatever is lurking in the shadows of the Wheeler house.

The voice speaks again, this time Steve recognizes it. He lets the bat drop and it thunks on the floor as he asks: “Dustin?”

“What?” Chrissy asks, looking at him like he is crazy.

Steve shushes her and gestures to her to listen as Dustin’s voice can be heard again. It’s hard to pinpoint where it’s coming from, but it is very clearly him. Chrissy’s eyes grow wide and she starts looking around too.

“Dustin. Dustin! Dustin!” Steve yells, trying to get his attention.

“Dustin!” Chrissy joins him in calling Dustin’s name, squatting to check under the table.

Behind him, he can hear the others coming down the stairs, but he ignores them in favor of calling out: “Dustin, can you head me? Dustin? Dus- Hello? Hel- Hello?”

“Maybe he really does have rabies,” he hears Robin and turns back to face her, shaking his head excitedly, worlds unable to come out.

“Steve, what are you doing?” Nancy hisses in her authoritative tone.

“We can hear him,” Chrissy tells the group with big excited eyes, backing Steve in his perceived delirium.

“He’s here,” Steve tries to explain, sounding a little breathless from the elation of hearing Dustin and the yelling he’s been doing. “He’s in the walls or something. Just listen. Dustin! Dustin. Can you here me?”

The others are still giving him odd looks, but since both Chrissy and Steve insist, they all go look for Dustin and keep an ear out for him until- There! Dustin talks again and Steve can see how all their eyes grow wide.

With that their yelling increases, trying to make contact with the others on the other side. At this point, Steve is getting a little sick of it and he mutters: “Alright, either this kid can’t hear us or he’s being a total douchebag.”

“Will found a way,” Nancy suddenly says, her voice giving away that she has connected a few dots and that it going to get them out of here.

“What?” Chrissy asks.

“He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights,” Nancy explains.

“Lights?” Steve asks, before remembering the flashing. All the Christmas lights that had been strung up in the Byers house back then suddenly making a lot more sense.

She starts walking around the room, trying all the light switches of the lamps and the lights, but nothing seems to be happening much to her frustration. She huffs: “It’s not working.”

Suddenly Steve notices how the particles surrounding the lamp have changed. Instead of the dark dust that seems to be everywhere, it’s like a small fairy is sprinkling dust in the air. It’s a bit like Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. He points at it as he calls out: “Guys? You seeing this?”

They all turn to look and Nancy lights up: “Of course. The lights itself. Not the switch.” She walks over and reaches out to it, brushing her hands through the particles.

A part of Steve expects her hand to disappear, like it’s a small gate or some shit, but instead the particles just brighten.

With the confirmation that it’s safe, both Eddie and Robin immediately reach out for it as well. It reminds Steve a bit of a raccoon and a magpie and he has to work to not laugh at them, instead he reaches out too, surprised at the tingling sensation. Confused, he frowns: “It- it tickles?”

“It kind of feels good,” Robin adds.

And it is so Robin to say that, that Steve can’t help the grin, going to look at Chrissy to again share the fondness, only to find her staring at Robin. She blushes and looks away, meeting Steve’s eyes and her own widen. To reassure her, he just winks and makes a shhh gesture. He will keep her secrets.

Chrissy smiles back at him, before also touching the sparkles, gasping: “That feels weird.”

“Does anyone know Morse code?” Nancy asks, pulling her hand back. She has already moved on from the weirdness and is diving into problem solving. It’s one of the qualities that make her so nice to have on the team whenever something like this goes down.

“No,” Chrissy, Robin and Steve all mumble, having to disappoint Nancy with their lack of collective knowledge. Eddie, however, asks: “Wait, does SOS count?”

They all look at him and he shrinks back under their attention. Hesitance is in his voice as he goes on: “Is that- Is that good?” Steve kind of wants to kiss his stupidly handsome and helpful face right now.

“That’s perfect,” Nancy half laughs in that relieved manner of her, gesturing for Eddie to go ahead and signal.

The rest of them step back to give Eddie space and not mess it up as he rhythmically starts poking the lights. Steve wants to describe it as a thrusting manner, but he is really trying not to think about thrusting and Eddie in the same sentence while watching those mesmerizing hands move.

“It’s working,” Robin says giddily, catching Steve’s eye and making a judgmental face as if she knows what he is thinking. He flips her off and she sticks her tongue out.

It takes a few moments before the others are responding, but then they hear Dustin loud and clear say: “I got a plan. Go to Nancy’s room. Can you hear me?”

“They can hear you, stupid,” they hear Erica reply and Steve’s heart breaks a bit. Not Erica too! He had hoped to keep her out of this.

“How do you know that?” Dustin exclaims indignantly.

“Because I’m Erica,” Erica replies, before turning to them. “Flicker twice if you hear us.” Eddie flickers twice. “See,” she says smugly.

“Okay, okay,” Dustin gives in, then asks them: “Nancy’s room, did you get that?” Eddie flickers twice again.

The voices of the kids start moving away, so they go upstairs. Sitting has done a lot for Steve and he is feeling invigorated by hope and the knowledge that the kids are okay, so he now follows after them, curious to see what Dustin has come up with.

Now that there might be a plan, Steve is anxious to get out of here. The air is thick and he remembers how they suited up to go in the tunnels. Being here feels wrong. So, he urges: “Come on, come on,” under his breath.

Nancy takes the lead in setting up contact with Dustin. All of them hold their breath as the kids set up the toy they stole from Holly. They want this to work, they need this to work. The Upside Down is harrowing to be in and none of them want to stay for longer than they have to. Steve doesn't know how Will did this for a week.

The kids suggest the gate they came through, which they have called Watergate, because of course they did. That is such a Dustin thing to do, Steve thinks with a fond eyeroll. They manage to communicate that it’s guarded and Steve says: “Perfect, yes, yes,” because his kids are on this and if anyone can get them out, it’s them.

“We think we have a theory that can help with that,” Dustin calls back, not disappointing much to everyone’s relief. He continues: “We think Watergate isn’t the only gate. That there’s a gate at every murder site.”

“Does anyone understand what he’s talking about?” Nancy asks at that and Steve is glad she said it so they can all agree and he doesn’t have to feel stupid in private.

She draws a question mark to convey their collective confusion.

“Okay, seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money, before you guys just trust me!” Dustin exclaims in that judgy way of his. He loves that kid, but god does he hate how he expects everyone to keep up with him when he is a genius.

Unable to help himself and comfortable in the knowledge Dustin can’t hear him, Steve says: “Jesus Christ, this kid’s got to get his ego in check.”

“It’s his tone, right?” Eddie says immediately, leaning forward so he can look at Steve. He looks like Steve right now, happy he can share it with Steve. It’s been a while since they talked shit about the kids together and it kind of feels like coming home.

“I know,” Steve grins back at him.

Nancy, however, is listening to Dustin and moving on. She asks Eddie: “Okay. So- so, how far is your trailer?”

“Seven miles,” Eddie answers, his face a little bit of a grimace as his eyes flick over to Steve. He probably can’t walk that far with the state he’s in.

“Nancy,” Robin starts, she has also given Steve a glance, but given the fact she isn’t going into a medical spiral, she has likely figured something out. “I know you house here is like weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit, but haven’t you always had bikes?”

That could work. They all look at Nancy and Steve is mentally crossing his fingers, because biking seven miles sounds a lot less daunting than walking.

“I do,” she says. “Mike’s must be here and my old bike too. I think my parents also have a bike, so we should have four.”

“Four works,” Robin decides. “Steve can share with Eddie.”

“Hey!” Steve immediately protests. “Why do I have to share? One of you girls is easier to take on the back. Eddie’s heavy.”

“Rude,” Eddie pouts, but it’s luckily playful.

“Because you’re going to be on the back, dingus,” Robin answers.

“Why?” Steve frowns. The thought of sharing a bike with Eddie makes him a little hot under the collar and he doesn’t think he can be able to hide that with how exhausted and in pain he is. He doesn’t want Eddie to find out.

However, Robin has already made up her mind and logic is on her side, because she says: “You’re injured. It’ll be better for you to not exert yourself too much.”

Steve frowns, trying to come up with something. His eyes fall on Eddie, who is smartly been keeping to the background. Feeling a little catty, Steve narrows his eyes and asks: “Can you bike well?”

“I didn’t have a car for years,” Eddie points out with a crooked grin, then jokingly promises: “I won’t let you fall, princess,” and Steve hates how he that will play in his mind as he rolls his eyes and gives in.

Chrissy is the smallest out of them, so she gets Mike’s bike, while Nancy takes her own and Robin that of Karen. That means Eddie and Steve get to share Ted Wheeler’s bike. If the man knew, he’d probably have a fit, Steve thinks.

Robin takes the nail bat and puts it in the little basket on the front of Karen’s bike. Steve snorts at the comical sight while Eddie grabs Ted’s bike.

The bike has a baggage rack on the back that Steve can sit on. Eddie swings one leg over the bike and steadies it between his thighs as he turns back to Steve and asks: “Think you can get on okay, big boy?”

“Yeah, I’ll manage,” Steve replies, ignoring how his voice is kind of a squeak.

He carefully gets on the back and Eddie takes off, which nearly sends Steve flying off the back of the bike. Without thinking he grabs Eddie’s waist and yells: “What the hell, man. You said you were good at this.”

“I am, I am,” Eddie laughs as they zigzag before steadying.

Steve lets out the breath he had been holding, then realizes he’s been clinging to Eddie and burying his face in his back as he cuddles up. Embarrassed he clears his throat and starts to let go. However, he is stopped by a hand on his arm.

Cautiously, he makes a questioning noise and melts a little when Eddie explains: “So I’m sure you’re still there and okay. Can’t have you be yanked of this bike on my watch, alright, Stevie?”

“Yeah, alright,” Steve agrees and holds on tight again, ignoring Robin’s face as she bikes past them to ride next to Chrissy.

The ride to the trailer park is thankfully uneventful. Steve doesn’t think he could have taken it, if it was anything but, honestly. He needed the rest. His sides are still aching and his back burns. He knows they’ll need to take a look at his injuries when they get out of here, before they get infected or something.

But, Eddie is warm under his arms, his chest expanding with every breath and his heartbeat strong under Steve’s ear, which is rested against his back. It’s nice. Steve can close his eyes and pretend they aren’t in the Upside Down for a moment, that it’s all okay.

He’s drawn out of his make believe by Eddie calling out: “Right here,” as he points to his trailer where Patrick died only a few days ago.

They all get of their bikes, Eddie slowing gently so Steve can get off, while in front of them Robin practically throws the bike to the floor as she grins: “That’s gotta be a Guiness World Record. Most miles traveled interdimensionally.”

Chrissy giggles as Steve snorts, with it inhaling those dust particles. He coughs a little as they walk to the house and complains: “Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.” He coughs again. “It’s stuck in my throat.”

Fuck, he just wants to get out of this place. Right now, preferably, he thinks, as he grabs the nail bat from the ground where it fell out of the basket when Robin dropped her bike.

He is so preoccupied with the thought that he doesn’t realize that this will be the first time he’s ever inside Eddie’s trailer until he’s looking at a wall of mugs and can’t help but think that he never heard Eddie about those.

Then he’s again distracted by the red glow on the ceiling and Chrissy who exclaims: “Goddamn,” before looking shocked at her own vulgarity.

“This is where Patrick died, like right where he died,” Eddie says with a tight voice and Steve can’t imagine how he must be feeling right now, being back here. Both finally the comfort of his home yet also at the place where he witnessed the most horrible thing to date.

Steve almost can’t to stand to look at Eddie, to know what his face looks right now. But he looks anyway and he has to fight himself not to pull him into a hug to keep him away from all the horrors in the world.

He’s prevented from doing something stupid by Robin. She pulls him away with her comment, which is: “I think there’s something in there.”

Indeed the membrane on the portal is moving as if something is pushing at it. It looks small, almost tendril like and all of them watch with apprehension. Eddie sums it up best: “What the hell is that?”

It suddenly breaks open, red liquid splattering on the ground in front of them as they collectively startle back with loud yells.

Steve raises his nail bat and is already pushing to the front of the group when the attack on the portal stops. It’s quiet. Too quiet. So, he slowly creeps forwards, hoping the others are smart enough to stay back, so they’re not all getting yanked through again like Steve had been at the gate in Lover’s Lake.

But when he looks up, there is no monster waiting for them. No bats keeping guard. Instead there is the trailer living room in the universe he knows so well and in it are his favorite kids. Dustin in the middle holding an oar as he grins widely at Steve.

“No way,” Steve breathes, giddy relief filling his bones. They’re on the home stretch now. They’re almost out of here.

They’re all waving like dorks and the two groups greet each other with Hi’s.

“Holy shit, this is trippy,” Robin comments, sounding exhausted and like she means it with her whole heart and Steve can’t agree more.

“Bada-bada-boom!” Dustin yells in triumph, because he will always be a nerd and a looser and Steve loves him so so much. Then he says: “I got an idea to get you out of there, but I’m not totally sure it’ll work, so ideas are welcome as a back up. But it’s probably fine.”

Looking up, Steve does have an idea, but not for everyone. Still, each person less in the Upside Down is a win in his book, so he calls back: “I might have an idea to get Chris out, but I’m not sure either.”

Everyone except Chrissy looks at him in confusion. Chrissy, however, looks a little surprised and asks: “Are you sure that’s smart? You’re injured.”

“Not that injured,” Steve semi-lies. “And we got to keep moving, who knows what felt that portal break open. If Dustin’s plan falls through, we can at least get you out.”

“Okay what are you two talking about?” Eddie asks, voicing what the others are thinking as Robin and Nancy both nod.

“I can boost Chrissy through,” Steve tells them.

“Are you insane?” Nancy asks. “If you do that, she’s going to break her neck and that’s if you get her high enough to even get through.”

“Not a normal boost,” Steve rolls his eyes, admittedly a little bitchy. He’s kind of done with Nancy always assuming he hasn’t thought things through.

“We’ve been doing this cheer stunt,” Chrissy explains. “I’ll go feet first. It’ll be totally safe. And we know how to land on this side again if we realize it isn’t going to work.”

Nancy obviously isn’t convinced yet, but she gestures for them to go ahead. Robin also isn’t sure and she frowns: “Don’t you need a back spotter? I mean, you told me about practice and you always mentioned a back spotter. Are you sure it’s safe?”

“You know about cheer?” Chrissy asks, sounding delightfully surprised.

Robin blushes and mumbles: “I mean, with dingus here, it’s kind of hard not to,” like she doesn’t always actively listen to both of them when they’re talking and asked Steve to explain.

“You can catch her if she falls,” Steve smirks at her earning a slap, before he assures her: “We trained this stunt without back spotter. It’s fine.”

“That doesn’t make me more confident, Steve,” Robin counters.

“Just trust us,” Steve says, before getting in position and nodding to Chrissy that he is ready.

At this point, all his attention is on Chrissy. He is not going to let her fall. So everything fades to the background, Nancy, Robin, Eddie, the kids, his pain. None of it exists. He just breathes in, breathes out and catches Chrissy.

She’s on his hands in a handstand and he has bend his arms, so her feet don’t hit the ceiling. Behind him he can hear Eddie cheer and Robin let out a surprised laugh. Chrissy looks down at him and he smiles right back up at her.

Chrissy feels very light and his heart breaks a little for her, vowing to make sure she eats something once they’re finally on the other side again. But first they have to focus on getting her out of this place.

Carefully he walks until he is properly under the portal, before stretching his arms. Chrissy’s feet go through okay from his end, but to be sure, he asks: “That feel good?” She nods. “Ready for a boost?” She nods again. “You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Alrighty,” he replies, before bending his knees and arms slightly and counting it out, before throwing her in the air.

The view is very odd. He is used to her disappearing to the side, but instead it looks like she’s falling off a cliff as he watches her go up and then down. He keeps being ready to catch her again, but she lands on her feet at the other side and soon is grinning back up at them.

“Holy shit,” Eddie exclaims, clapping Steve on the back.

“That was insane,” Robin yells jumping up and down in her excitement.

Right at that point Lucas and Max return with the mattress and the group still in the Upside Down can see the two pause, before Lucas asks: “How the hell did you get here?”

“Steve threw me,” Chrissy answers, which probably doesn’t answer much by the way the two look up at Steve then back at Chrissy.

“Okay, uhm, sure,” Max says, before shooing her out of the way, so they can put the mattress down on the floor.

It’s stained and Steve can feel Eddie shrinking in on himself as he says: “Those stains are, uhm- I don’t know what those stains are.”

The stains are not so bad. It looks a little like the mattress his parents threw away when he was a kid. And he still remembers how fucking expensive mattresses are when he moved out. His own current mattress is also kind of stained like that, but he couldn't afford a new one. Eddie probably can’t either.

In the hope to make Eddie feel a little better, he bumps him and sends him a small smile. He’s glad when Eddie gives a smile back even if he pulls his hair in front of his face.

Their moment is broken by Dustin and Erica coming back carrying something. Steve is trying to figure it out as they question Chrissy about how it felt to go through. He isn’t listening to what they’re staying, but figures out they’re holding covers tied together to form a rope. Rope seems smart.

Dustin seems satisfied and pretty confident as he hands Lucas on end of the rope and says: “Toss it through.”

“Are you sure?” Lucas asks, looking at the ceiling then back at Dustin.

Instead of giving a normal reply, Dustin sighs as he makes a judgy expression that sends a stab of fondness through Steve’s heart.

Lucas smartly holds his hands up in a placating manner, before throwing his end up towards them, so they have to step aside.

The group watches it unfurl until it’s hanging in midair. Dustin tugs on it and it seems to hold just fine as he give them a thumbs up and says: “There we go. Abracadabra.”

Steve is amazed at how Dustin even thought of that and he can feel himself being able to finally breathe with the way out of there now ready to go. Robin however seems less sure of it all as she tugs on it and says: “Guess I’ll be the guinea pig.”

She starts climbing and Steve has to look away for a second to not burst out laughing. He loves Robin to bits, but she is one of the least athletic people he knows. Still, he looks back when he gets himself under control wanting to be sure she makes it through safely.

He watches her fall through the portal with all her usual grace and exclaim with relief when she’s on the other side. She gratefully takes Chrissy’s hand and lets herself be pulled off the mattress, stumbling into Chrissy’s arms and giving her a big hug. Steve has to respect her game.

But with Robin safely through that means the next person can go. It’s obvious to Steve that he is staying until everyone is out and he’d prefer it if they could move quickly. He still remembers how fast those bats were on him on the way in. He doesn’t fancy getting attacked on the way out.

First Steve looks at Nancy, because he’s been taught to let the girls go first, but she looks right back and he is reminded that she is the warrior where he is the protector. She’s also not just leaving anyone behind.

So he turns to Eddie, urging him to go with his eyes. Eddie has already seen enough of this Upside Down nonsense. He’s a newbie here. He shouldn’t be the last on out.

“Alright, guess I’ll go,” he shrugs, though not before glancing between Steve and Nancy and quirking a brow at Steve that he doesn’t quite get.

Before he can think about it too much, Eddie is climbing and Steve can feel his face flush as he watches veined hands grip the sheets, before strong legs slide past his vision. And when he looks to check if Eddie also goes through okay, he can’t help but watch his ass.

He watches Eddie crash to the ground and he winces in sympathy, but Eddie is practically made out of rubber and he bounces back with a grin and the exclamation: “That was fun. Shit.”

Steve chuckles fondly for a second, watching Dustin help Eddie up, before turning to Nancy again. She might have been right last round, but Steve isn’t going to leave her behind. He has the weapon, he’s staying. First one in, last one out.

“See you on the other side,” he tells her as he gestures to the rope. Nancy narrows her eyes slightly, so he lets the bat swing down from his shoulder and smiles at her with oblivion on her face, as if he doesn’t notice.

At that Nancy softens slightly and she agrees: “See you on the other side,” swaying close in that weird, creating moments way she’s been doing, before pulling back and grabbing the rope.

However, instead of starting to climb, she freezes. Steve sighs and says: “I swear I’m fine, just go, Nance.”

Still no reaction.

“Nance?” Steve asks again, dropping the bat next to him and shaking her slightly and getting nothing back from her.

Worry now truly starts to set in and he turns her around. As he fears instead of her normal big, expressive eyes, she now has that same blank look that Max has at the cemetery and Chrissy at the Creel house.

Despite knowing it won’t work, Steve shakes her again, shouting her name. Above them he can hear the other start to scramble around to get her music and all Steve can do is yell at her and keep her feet on the ground for as long as he can.

Fuck, why didn’t she tell them she was cursed? They have a fucking cure. They could’ve prevented this! Why is she so stubborn?

There is all sorts of chaos going around, but Steve kind of feels detached from it all. He’s not in his body, just looking from above.

He and Nancy have a weird relationship. He thought he loved her, she broke his heart and ruined his self esteem, he hates her a bit and he will never not be there for her. She’s been acting weird and making him a little uncomfortable, but the thought of her not being by his side through this all is too much to bear.

She’s such a brilliant person and while emotions are not her forte, he knows she is going to make it so far. If she’d just live through this right now.

No solutions are coming from above and Steve tries to remember if he knows what kind of song she might like and if he knows the lyrics. But the two haven’t really spoken in over a year at this point and all he does is pull blanks.

After what feels like an eternity, but can’t be more than a few minutes, Nancy suddenly heaves a deep breath and collapses forwards.

Steve frantically checks her over, only mildly relieved by the lack of cracking noise to indicate her bones aren’t broken. A part of him, however, can’t help but fear she’s silently killed and he has her corpse in his arms.

However, she’s breathing just fine – maybe a bit too fast to be fine, but still – and clawing at his arms as if she needs something to hold her up.

“Oh thank fuck,” Steve hears himself exclaim as he pulls her close, her small frame fitting easily in his arms like it used to.

Right now the relief is overshadowing all else and he giddily calls up: “She’s alive. She’s okay.”

There are cheers and other noises of relief from above him, but Steve ignores it in favor of calming Nancy back down again. After all his nightmares, he’s gotten comfortable with breathing exercises to bring his heart rate down and Steve feels like Nancy can use that.

It takes them a little too long for Steve to be comfortable in the Upside Down to calm Nancy down. However, the lack of monsters that has come knocking down the door soothes him slightly and he knows rushing her won’t help them.

When she finally feels up to it, he helps her for as long as he can, supporting her as she climbs up the rope with shaking hands.

Once back on the ground she is swarmed by the others, who all check on her and hug her to make sure she truly is okay. Steve watches with a relieved smile. She needs the support right now, that can’t have been pleasant.

He is also glad that he has gotten everyone out. It’s just him now, like he planned. He never expected them to even follow him down here, he wasn’t going to let them die for it. And right now he has succeeded.

But he still has to get out himself. The others lead Nancy away from the mattress and Steve is kind of glad they’re all distracted, so they’re not watching him too closely.

His injuries don’t hurt as much now as they did when he just got them, but they’re not pleasant either and he can feel how his skin pulls at them as he stretches his hands up to climb the rope at a snail’s pace.

At this point, he’d rather be safe than sorry, so he doesn’t strain and moves small distances. The flip itself feels a little scary, but Steve has always been an active kid. Gravity shifting around him is one of the oddest feelings he’s ever felt, but he’s careful and thus luckily doesn’t go slamming into the ground below.

Instead he gracefully lets himself drop, only to immediately fall over with a low groan when the shock wave the landing sends through his body makes his sides pulse.

He looks up to check if any of the kids saw, which is fortunately also a no. The kids is still fussing over Nancy, but not Chrissy, Eddie and Robin. Eddie is standing on the left, Robin on the right, Chrissy next to her.

“Come here, dingus,” Robin says, holding out her hand.

“We’ve got you, sweetheart,” Eddie grins also holding out a hand.

Steve grins up at them and takes their hands as he lets them pull him to his feet again. God, it feels good to breathe fresh air.

Above him, his nail bat watches over the scene, abandoned in the hell dimension.

~~

A/N:

Y’all I have been playing that cheer stunt through the portal scene in my heart for weeks and I’m so excited to have finally written it down omg!!! It was literally the reasons I even started writing this AU

[ddeadly-succubus]

Not pro eating disorder but

Friendly reminder that EDs are mental disorders, not weight disorders. Weight really has little to do with it, the only reason people who started at lower bmis get diagnosed with them more often is because of the media’s perception of what an eating disorder should be. People who started with higher bmis are usually not diagnosed until they’re on death’s door, or if they do get a diagnosis it’s usually OSFED or atypical anorexia.

Anorexia and bulimia are not even the most common eating disorders either, it’s actually binge eating disorder but most people with it can’t recognise that they have it cos binge eating behaviour has been so normalised in our society that is based on overconsumption and that overconsumption does also extend to food and eating behaviours.

[kitxkatrp]

This is kinda a weird headcanon post, but I've done a lot of thinking. I use Kaeya a lot in game, he's in my main party, and I've noticed by comparing him to a lot of the other male characters that he is MUCH skinnier than they are. While this could just be their physique, with his personality and how much he drinks, it wouldn't surprise me if he had some food issues. In the case of my Kaeya, he simply ignores his hunger a majority of the time. Not because he wants to be skinny, or anything like that, but it's more of a mental obstacle for him. He has trouble feeling truly hungry, so a lot of the time he doesn't notice until he feels sick, and tends to forget often.

I'm not sure if this counts as an eating disorder, but for trigger warning purposes I'll tag it as one anyway.

[choices-binglebonkus]

As someone who suffered with an ED for 5 years, that anon said the dumbest thing I have ever read in my entire existence.

Tbh not sure what they were thinking. My guess is it was a troll because that was a different level of idiocy.

[sunlit-music]

You really do need to eat when you're hungry. Under eating (even if you're trying to lose weight) helps no one and can lead to hair loss, damaged teeth, weak bones, osteoporosis, and aged skin with premature wrinkles.

if you're trying to lose weight, you're much better off eating healthy food with plenty of fruits, vegetables, bread, rice or oats, dairy (if it's safe for you), meat or fish. That will help you maintain or lose weight safely compared to skipping meals or eating dangerously small portions.

If you're going to exercise, then you should eat more to maintain energy levels.

I'm putting this information out there, to protect people from bad advice that encourages eating disorders.

[themuffinman-taylorsversion]

debut tracks 6-10 review

(tw: eating disorder mention under tied together with a smile)

THE OUTSIDE

this song is so sad :(

"nothing seems to work the first few times, am I right?" SO RIGHT TAYLOR

also I saw somewhere she wrote this when she was like 12? that's crazy

"how can I ever try to be better? nobody ever lets me in"

I've always loved this song so much. I'm going to cry hearing it re-recorded in her grown woman voice. like it's going to destroy me

score: 4/10

points for style, personal bias, instrumentals, pretty priviledge

favorite line: nothing seems to work the first few times, am I right?

TIED TOGETHER WITH A SMILE

i think 1989 Taylor would start sobbing if someone else wrote this for her. on a kind of similar note, I believe I heard that taylor wrote a song about a friend with an eating disorder. if that's true, this is definitely that song.

i think lyrically this is one of the best songs on debut, but maybe that's my personal bias shining through.

anyways, this song really reminds me of someone going through an eating disorder. and I think that this song is much more mature than the rest of the songs on this album.

it's also kind of ironic that a song about someone who doesn't "see your beauty" is right before a song called stay beautiful

score: 7/10

points for lyrics, style, personal bias, chorus, verses, instrumentals, pretty privilege

favorite line: you cry, but you don't tell anyone that you might not be the golden one

STAY BEAUTIFUL

i feel like this song is in the same vein as hey Stephen, but more bittersweet.

I feel like this song really encapsulates a high school crush that's timed really badly. you're both about to go off to different colleges, so it just won't work out and all you can do is wish them well.

i also don't get the haters of this song. i think it's really nice.

(side note: i wonder how Cory feels about this song. I would be so beyond flattered if this was written about me)

score: 4/10

points for style, chorus, bridge (I just really like it), instrumentals

favorite line: i've taken pictures in my mind so I can save em for a rainy day

SHOULD'VE SAID NO

oh Sam, Sam Sam. why would you cheat on Taylor? this song really reminds me how much I miss the secret messages in the lyric books.

moving on to the actual song though, this is another one that I think is very hard to hate. the guitar and drums in the background really do it for me. like that is a TOP TIER instrumental. I think we've already established that I really love country style instrumentals, but this one is the epitome of that.

this song is also very better than revenge coded to me, which is not really relevant but I thought I would share it.

I don't have very much to say about this song other than it's really good.

score: 5/10

points for style, personal bias, chorus, instrumental, vocals

favorite line: I shouldn't be asking myself "why"

MARY'S SONG (OH MY MY MY)

OMG THIS SONGGGGGG

i love it so much <3333333

and the tayvis 87/89 thing? perfection

but other than that, this one has been one of my all time favs since I heard the album for the first time. I would make a debut setlist just to have this song. imagine the proposals they could do! it would rival love story (this is a better song too, but that's just my opinion)

the secret message reads "sometimes love is forever" hello??????? I'm sobbing a little

score: 8/10

points for lyrics, style, personal bias, chorus, verses, instrumentals, pretty privilege, loopability

favorite line: our daddies used to joke about the two of us, they never believed we'd really fall in love

[qksilvcr]

It's never been mentioned nor is it canon in any sort of way - but Prompto most likely suffers from an e/ating d/isorder. B/ulimia is what I can imagine he has - binging on large quantities of food before purging. B/ody d/ysmorphia plays a huge role in his lack of ability to become comfortable in the skin he's in. Although he's a lot better than he used to be as a child, he still sees himself as that lonely child who didn't have any friends. He still sees himself as a glutton--he's afraid of gaining weight and while he's comfortable eating in front of others, he is still quite personal when it comes to his e/d. On road trips, he'll lock the bathroom door and turn on the water in the sink before he purges but if he’s home alone, he simply won’t eat because in his mind, he doesn’t need the unnecessary calories.

Prompto knows he's loved and he's in good shape, but he can't bring himself to stop an addiction and the fear.

[hellwoodfms]

do you have any traits and secrets you'd like to see around?

we haven’t gotten any secrets in yet but i can just say personally, i would love to see some really unique secrets like affairs with some older a lister actors / film producers, failed PR scandals exposed, maybe a nepo celebrity who is not really related to a relative as they claim, secret marriages ( vegas style perhaps ?? )classic failed rehab situations ( the muse in and out of rehab who tries to hide it ), poly relationship exposed, leaked threesome hook ups, maybe a secret pregnancy where a family member adopted them or your muse gave them up. also, would love to see some secrets surrounding any eating disorders / mental health rehabilitation. could definitely list some more if needed !!

[acabspocky]

TW: Disordered Eating

No because whether you agree with the existence of edtwt or not, going out of your way to make comments like this is disgusting

1) You don't just find edtwt and/or disordered content easily on accident, especially on Twitter (or Tumblr for that matter) The majority of edtwt goes out of our way to avoid making contact with "regular" twitter.

So finding a post to make these comments under is a conscious decision, you have to go out of your way to look for it.

2) 90% of edtwt is just mentally ill people seeking a space to vent or joke safely about mental illness with other mentally ill people without judgement. We're not some cult of Goddess Ana Acolytes spreading proana gospel; we're sharing memes/jokes (a lot like the above post) harm reduction, low cal recipes, vent threads, food polls, protein bar reviews, and people begging for tips n tricks to help them poop— yes, we swap poop tips like baseball cards, I shit you not (🥁 pun intended)

So comments like "a billion gigillion calories, big and greedy," are on par with sitting outside of an Narcotics Anonymous meeting and handing out nicklebags of Down; you're obviously not trying to help anyone, you're just getting a laugh at the expense of someone who is likely a victim of trauma/abuse.

I really try to keep my disordered shit separate from this blog, so I'm sorry but I am so fucking heated rn. Literally simmering.

[izzy-mc-fizzy]

Think it’s so sinister that flo marching is airing Ozempic commercials during their WGI livestream

Like EDs are soooo common and widespread through the marching arts in part due to the really toxic mindset that’s pushed of only being able to succeed if you overwork yourself to the point of illness and it’s crazy that a fucking weight loss injection is being pushed to that audience

[kitxkatrp]

🍔 - What kind of food does your muse usually eat? Do they have a favorite food, or favorite style of food? Do they have allergies? Are they vegan, vegetarian, etc.?

Honestly, I wish I could say Kaoru was good at eating healthy (or eating in general), but he's really not. When he does eat it's mostly whatever his Brother can swindle him into enjoying, so an occasional breakfast or sloppily put together lunch. He skips meals more often than not due to the sheer amount of anxiety he holds in his body at any given time and how it affects his moods and his stomach. He has no real allergies or preferences when it comes to food, and will eat pretty much anything that's set in front of him...provided he's in the mood to eat. That's the real challenge here. He'd starve himself to death if he was in a bad mood and he wouldn't bat an eyelash about it either.

[greenhairedfreakglobal]

if nicocado avocado can do it, so can i

[choices-binglebonkus]

jsyk you using a food journal as a new years resolution is very ableist against those with ED’s and it is not okay

Where on earth did this shitty take come from? I’m keeping a food journal because I have persistent and noticeable rosacea and am trying to figure out what triggers my flare-ups.