#twilight unhinged

[unbetad-untested-unhinged]

I feel like this is important and I don’t see this enough

[dragonroilz]

IM GONNA LOAD ALL OVER THE PLACE

[legendofzoodles]

Four: Try explaining your fight with Ganon or whatever evil was wrecking your kingdom, but without context.

Wind: Old-ass wizard kicks around some minors while the only other adult is a shapeshifting boat-man who prioritised claiming some triangles. Beat that. 

Four: I’m sorry, what?

Wind: That’s how Grandma saw it. But I get it, he did take a few pot shots at me and especially Tetra.

Time: [remembering when Ganondorf, chasing after Zelda on horseback, stopped his pursuit solely to blast a 9 year old in the face and monologue]

Time: Sounds like him.

---

Wild: Appointed knight finally fulfills his mission after waiting 100 years to reload his save.

The Chain: What?

Time: That sucks, I only waited seven. 

The Chain: What?!

---

Twilight: Local ranch-hand stops a nightmare induced apocalypse alongside an imp who’s a princess and a hermit, who’s also a princess.  

Time: [clears his throat]

Twilight: After screaming at the moon vocal coaching from a ghost stalking the entire journey, who wasn’t a princess. 

---

Sky: Local daydreamer wakes up, fights god, and wins. 

Wild: I mean...did you though?

Legend: Yeah, jury’s still out on that one.

---

Hyrule: Mute kid brutalises pigman after assembling wish granting triangles, and saves the princess. He does it again years later.

Wild: You were silent back then?

Hyrule: Well, I couldn’t speak because I didn’t know the language. After saving the first Zelda she asked members of the nobility teach me- and how to read and write.

Twilight: Did you bite them when they tried to scold you for getting an answer wrong?

Hyrule: You did that too?!

---

Warriors: Pairs of powerful fighters from across the ages band together to defeat creepy time sorceress, then conquer red-maned wizard. 

Legend: Ugh, the power of friendship. Really?

Warriors: Comradery, actually. 

Legend: [mimicking his tone] Cringe, actually. 

---

Legend: Which one?

Four: Choose your favourite.

Legend: [thinks for a moment] A scarf wearing hooded hobo breaks into my house on several occasions and stages a coup to save two worlds. 

Four: What...were you doing?

Legend: [sighing] All the hard work. 

~~~

Thanks for reading! 

Masterlist

9th place in the LU character design ranking

Character analysis posts:

Hero of the Sky, Hero of Time, Hero of Twilight, Hero of the Wild, Hero of Warriors

Parkour team - LU drabble

How each member of the chain laughs - LU headcanon

I didn't know what to do for Time since I've already made the speedrunning puberty joke and I don't know much about Four's adventures.

[homisexual11]

Oh my gosh I love twilight

*unhinges jaw and swallows the saga whole*

[grapejuicegay]

The deciding factor for mhok kissing day was that he couldn't stand to have day thinking that the only reason someone would want him around, would want him to be happy, would want to spend time with him, would want to kiss him is out of pity and I'm supposed to be sane and normal?

[earthfluuke]

"My eyes don't work well, but my legs do just fine." LAST TWILIGHT (2023)

[youryurigoddess]

Judgmental Aziraphale is real and can hurt you if necessary.

[snivyartjpeg]

did you know that vampire bats french kiss and share blood to deepen their bonds

[battlescas]

Jacob: Bella there’s a vampire that wants to brutally murder you plus my werewolf brother almost killed your boyfriend’s vampire brother

Bella: but why didn’t you call me back

[occasionallyprosie]

Have a lil ficlet

----

"Round Five"

He was eight the first time, ten the second, twelve the third, and then sixteen the fourth. He's seventeen now and he is ready for round five.

Aka, Legend runs into Ganon... again.

This is crack, this is pure, badly written crack.

Inspired by this

----

To be honest, the last thing Legend expected to see when they finally tracked down the being that was being the Shadow... he shouldn't have been surprised, but he really was when he saw a mage and they'd arrived just in time to see the mage use The Shadow to revive Ganon.

Ganon, in all his blue, pig faced not-glory, stood before them. Legend heard Four hold his breath, he saw Hyrule freeze, he noticed the other heroes tense, but he just laughed.

Ganon, freshly revived, fully revived, landed his gaze on Legend who pushed the other heroes back with the flat of his blade.

"You want to go for round five?" He called across the room, grinning.

Ganon groaned. He actually groaned and glared at the mage. "Really? That one? You had to bring that one here? I kill one hero and now I'm just cursed to be killed over and over by this brat."

"Vet?" Four hissed.

"I got this," Legend promised. "Handle that wizard guy and make sure the Shadow's dead. I call pig face."

Ganon just sighed and hefted up his huge blade. "How old this time?"

"Seventeen. Next time we'll have our ten year anniversary date," Legend replied wryly, he heard someone make a slightly scandalized noise, probably Warriors frankly, and someone else snorted and laughed, that sounded like Wind. "When will your lackey's learn that it's just not worth it to bring you back as long as I'm alive?"

"I don’t know," Ganon glared at the mage, who withered under the glare. "Sooner rather than later." He looked at the other heroes. "Wait you’re here too?!"

Four cleared his throat and waved awkwardly. "Umm, hi."

"There's only one of you this time... but--I don’t care. Let's just get the fight over with. It's not like Din ever lets me win."

"If you weren't going to destroy Hyrule in the aftermath I'd let you live," Legend said casually.

Ganon paused. "Deal."

They all stopped.

"Huh... Okay."

"Vet!"

"What?!"

"You can't agree to that!"

"I just did, deal with it. Hey can you pick apples from trees without squashing them or am I dumping you on the Gerudo?"

"They'd kill me for last time."

"Fair enough. Guess Ravio's got a new employee."

[zellkabellk]

Re-listening to LoZ : Twilight's Princess OST and damn it really makes me want to replay the game ;;;;;; ToTK Zelda may have sneaked her way into 'my top 3 fav Zeldas' but TP Zelda is still definitely in there too... (the third one is Tetra fdmksjhgkj)

[emmett-mchearty]

Hey do y'all think that if Bella tried giving Edward head on isle esme when she was still human her tongue would've gotten stuck on his dick like this:

Because I do.

[lu-twilights-pup]

Do you intend to return with your Yandere Twilight and Time?

👉👈

They're so cool

May haps one day.

And by one day I mean right now-

@yandere-linked-universe I have an offering

[grapejuicegay]

Saw this and felt unhinged. remembered you and thought why not share and add to the unhinge-ness BYE

I'm also just going to put the blurb Mhok (twt can pry this spelling from my cold dead hands) read out here because I'm having a Time:

"Hello. My name in Mee. I'm about to fade away. According to the myth, only sunshine can break the curse. Or perhaps I'm just having a nightmare. Who knows? Tonight, when I close my eyes all of this will just vanish." Sweet dreams

I keep thinking about @casualavocados's post about how much importance is given to tiny details and even here there is so much attention on Mhok flipping open the book. You can see the moment he decides he's going to say sweet dreams. And he brushes it off as just being written in the book but he's spent the whole episode brushing things off while giving off the heartiest of eyes (styling day's hair, the changing room, the metro, everywhere) (and seriously, there's a very specific brand of P'Aof heart eyes that he gets out of people and I didn't even think Jimmy was capable of heart eyes of this calibre and YET HERE WE ARE)

I mentioned intentionality with that moment by the door but the intentionality of that scene began here. When he decided that he is going to risk it, he is going to wish Day sweet dreams. Because he wants Day, who is reading this book because Aon said it might suit him, to not relate to this. To not have nightmares or just fade away when he goes to sleep. He wants Day to have sweet dreams. Before dropping the pretense of the book for pure sincerity because he really does want that.

SO YEAH. I'M FEELING INCREDIBLY UNHINGED. THANKS

[pussysidon]

Terrible idea: every five years a popular book or book series gets re-written by a randomly selected author. The chosen author can do whatever they want with the series as long as it's cannon compliant

[thevampirearchive]

There’s something I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the words till now. There is something that deeply upsets me about witnessing stories where villains, who are literal killers, fall in love and somehow become good or act outside of what is expected from them. I love love, love is beautfiul, it is powerful and it can truly change a lot. But to sit, and write a killer suddenly go "actually, this one can stay because I am in love for the first time" is such a weird concept to me. Is this happening because as a sociaty we're trying to convince ourselves that deeply disturbed people can be cured by the power of love? That if they just find the right person, they would stop the masacer? or at least no longer feel the need to kill how they were or at least let their person live? And I am not mad at the love, I do belive anyone can fall deeply in love, but my issue is with how it ends. I want to witness the unthinkable — I want to see is exactly what we expect but hoped won't happen, happening. A gut wrenching truth that stays true to who we have been witnessing, despite the "I can change them" dance. And perhaps people hate this idea because they want to belive that anyone can change if only they meet the right one, or that we can change the monsters in our lives with affection, but trust most likly is that they cannot be changed. And I can understand that to some this is then seen as an illusion. "oh then this was never true love", why can the two not exist? Do we not hurt those we love? Maybe not kill them, but someone elses hurt could feel like a small death to me, and vice versa.

Examples, so that you are not confused as to what I am reffering too;

Killing Eve; I stopped watching when Villanelle was shown shooting Eve. It felt true to her character, even if it hurt. She is a killer, we knew that and so did Eve. Regardless of her love, that was what was always going to happen so why were we given additional seaons of this fanatsy of a declawed Villanelle?

Hannibal; It should have ended with the death of Will, and possibly Hannibal consuming him. Didn't Hannibal say that the consumption of Will would somehow join them in a deeper way?Something so disturbing that only could make sense to a serial killing-cannibal. And I would have watched with wide eyes, and gone to sleep staring at the ceiling.

Interveiw With The Vampire; Louis' death in the hand of a Lestat would have made sense, and despite his dramatics, Lestat would have not committed suicide but instead burried himself in deep regret untill he was too numb to his own feelings that he could return to the world of the living. He would have never forgotten Louis, nor what he did, but he would have moved on beause Lestat is not a good person. He's deeply disturbed and Louis knew this. I don't even aknoclege that beatdown episode because Lestat may be a killer, but he's a drama queen first and formost. Louis' death would have been poetic, beautiful and grusom like a greek tragedy without an audiance.

Bonus - Twilight; I could not end without adding my own favorite, and despite this path never being teased to the audiance the same way the other's were, I would have loved the book simply ending because Edward did as he said he would - drained Bella like a Caprisun on a hot summer day. Because what is love agaisnt animalistic urgase (I understand why it is much hotter that he is simply so retsrained and devoted that he resists her, but I'd pay good money for an AU)

At the end of it all, I think want I want is for sociaty to get over the idea that a good woman, love or any form of kindness can change who some people are. Love can do many things - look at crimes of passion! And to some extend I belive that these villain's love were true, possibly not the way we imagine them - which is less so "I love you too" and more so, "wow, finally someone I can manipulate and obsess over. Someone who I can mold, someone who is alone in the world like me" only to realize that is not true.

So why do we make love into what it isnt? Even when the scene is set for us to be shown the truth, writers and the audiance always make the plot lean towards whatever fits so that we can have that "happy ending".

Honorable mentions;

God should have killed Lucifer, I know the bible and christianity is not technically fiction for all, but the idea that he is forgivin but lets the biggest meanness HE CREATED terrorize everybody is evil. Take him out or let somebody else do it homie.