#two of which are a4

[genderenaissance]

slowly making my tits bigger by filling my bra with notes and games

[system-architect]

im looking at the cat tree chair and thinking about the commander holding an allen wrench crying trying to assemble a cat tree out of a box

[knifebaby3000]

🔍

sesame syrup

[shokushii]

shoulder angel? no, shoulder blahaj 🦈💫

been tryin to get a better grip on this wet wash brush, and i love how this came out!! also why am i drawing this shark so much you may ask? uhhh idk tbh. just got possessed by the spirit of blahaj ig lmao

[starlit-writer]

in sickness and in health, ch. 1 - alpha!simon riley x omega!reader

ah, look at that. have some omegaverse angst inspired by this post here <3 if you want to understand more about my omegaverse au, you can look at my masterpost here, and it'll help explain all of the intricacies that may or may not be explained well enough in these short-form fics!

well, this turned out to be miles longer than i expected it to. there's not really a solid ending, so let me know if you want more! have so much fun getting your heart ripped out <3

word count: 4,764 chapter two masterlist ao3 link

Three years ago, you and Simon got married. It wasn’t anything flashy or big - fuck, how could it have been when you didn’t even love each other? But, military law forbade an unmated omega from joining the ranks, and Simon was seen as a wild-card alpha, too headstrong and violent, too hard to control. So, the brass laid out an ultimatum: mate, get married, or be discharged. Both you and Simon had worked too hard for too long to get where you were, so discharge was entirely off the table. There was no courting, no dates, and the wedding, if you could call it that, was little more than signing papers - three signatures on a thick piece of A4 government paper, one from you, one from Simon, and one from your witness, Captain John Price. You didn’t even exchange rings or vows. It took less than five minutes. 

After all was said and done, you and Simon went back to your lives. Of course, you were respectful to one another, and you spent one or two heats and ruts together, but you both maintained a distance away from each other. Neither of you were thrilled with the idea of being tied down, of being mated. The mating bond between you felt more like the neck of a too-tight sweater than it did a comfort, feeling each other’s emotions more of a chore than something you looked forward to. Sure, you worked well together, fluid and deadly like a well oiled M2 on the field. Always had. But there was a stark difference between working well together, and being mated.

So that’s how you ended up here. You had lost twenty pounds. Your skin was sallow and pale, your eyes sunken in. When you looked in the mirror, you could count your ribs, the knobs of your spine, even when they were hidden under the bruises that bloomed across your sickly skin.

You had thrown yourself into work, and when there was no work, you were challenging any living thing to go for a round with you on the sparring mat. But, you were weak; the bond sickness sapped all of your energy and strength faster than you could ever hope to replenish it. Your scent, which was once a warm and spicy caramelized vanilla, now smelled like sugar burnt to the bottom of a pot - acrid and rotted. You were dying, and you knew it. But your pride was far too great to ever go crawling back to Simon, the very man who caused the sickness to infiltrate every cell of your being. It had been months of this torture. Simon, your alpha, had all but abandoned you. You had been without his touch, his scent, anything and everything that the very base instincts of your omega craved from its mate for far too long. It didn't matter to your omega that this marriage, this mating bond was nothing more than a way to keep both you and Simon in the service. Instincts couldn't be fought with fact, and now you were reaping the consequences of the neglect of the bond. You had thought bond sickness was a myth, a fear-mongering tactic to keep alphas in line. However, you were now aware that there was far more truth than you could have ever imagined to that story that is told. 

You had seen the concerned looks of your team as they watched you haunt the halls of the base like a spectre. Soap had started to bring you chocolates and drinks, anything in hopes to get you to eat. Gaz took a different approach, always being the one to take you up on your sparring requests, the beta knowing that at the very least he could be gentle with you while still giving you an outlet. The Captain had made sure to keep you off any truly strenuous missions and tasks, mainly relegating you to the medbay or to training recruits. If you were any stronger, you would be pissed, but right now you took it as a blessing. At least he hadn’t kicked you off the team for your weakness. But Simon? Simon was nowhere to be found. He continuously was the first volunteer for the most dangerous missions, keeping him away from base for weeks to months at a time. When he came back bloody and bruised, he would avoid the medbay like the plague, only coming in to get fixed up by another combat medic when he knew Soap or Gaz had forcefully pulled you away. If you two happened to be walking in the same hallway, Simon would duck out of your sight without even so much as a word. You had long since given up on running after him. 

So color yourself surprised when you were standing in front of the mirror in your bathroom and the screen of your phone lit up, a text from Simon blaring on the too-bright screen. You had every intention of ignoring it, but your pride was no match for the dying ache of your omega. 

Come to my quarters.

The text was simple. Demanding, even. And all it did was make you angry. 

You quickly tugged on a pair of sweats and forced a tank top over your bruised and feverish skin. You thought briefly for a moment about tugging a sweatshirt on over your mottled skin, but, fuck it, let him see all that he has done to you. Maybe he would give you the one blessing you had hoped for over the last few months of neglect, and finally sever the bond between you. 

You trudged through the hallways of the base, every soldier you passed giving you a wide berth. You were certain you looked like death froze over, and the rage-filled expression set over your brows and your lips certainly did not help. When you reached his door, you didn’t even bother to knock. You just shoved your copy of the key in the door and slammed the door open. 

Simon barely even looked up from where he was lounging on the bed. His shirt was off, a rare sight, even for you, but even more shocking was the fact that he wasn’t wearing his mask.  He didn’t look much better than you - his once-bronzed skin paled, his own scars raised and reddened, and his musculature slightly less defined.

“You came.” He didn’t seem surprised, the rough timbre of his voice as unchanging as if he had remarked on the weather, which only increased the volatile rage that had flooded your system. His arms lazily opened in an invitation to lay with him. “No use just standin’ in the doorway.”

You, in all of your rage, just stood stockstill in the still-open doorway. Even as your omega side cried to jump into his arms and let his scent and his touch wash away all the pain, you refused with a defiant jut of your chin. You didn’t know why he had called you here, and the only thing your mind could conjure up is that Price, or Laswell, or fuck, even Soap, had sat him down and forced him to do this. And you wanted nothing to do with this or with him if he actually was not trying to change.

“I don’t want your pity. And I sure as hell don’t want your affection just because Price told you that you had to fix me,” you replied, your voice shaking with weakness and pain, even as you tried your damndest to keep it steady, strong. 

Simon growled lowly at the sound of your rage-filled pain, the sound of an alpha not used to having somebody fall immediately into line. His arms were still open, but you could see the way his muscles clenched, his own anger rising. “It ain’t about pity. It’s about basic biology,” he bit out, the words short and angry. 

That made you laugh, the sound short and sardonic before it morphs into a cough that shakes your entire, frail being. You brought a shaking hand up to wipe your lips before you fixed him with a glare hard enough to freeze an ocean. “Basic biology?" you mocked. “Yeah, for sure. But it’s also basic biology to not let bond sickness even be a worry for your omega, but looks like you fucked that one right up, didn’t you!?”

Your words made something in Simon snap. Your rage, the vitriol, clenched his hands into fists as he quickly swung his powerful legs over the edge of the bed, crossing the space between you in the space between one of your breaths and the next. He was in your face now, just enough space between you to not be pressing completely against you. You averted your gaze, knowing that if you didn’t, you might continue yelling at him, or worse. 

“Look at me,” he ordered, using the same tone he does on the battlefield. His hands are still clenched into fists, but they are shaking. Why?

That tone made your eyes harden, the instincts of a hard-bred soldier kicking in. Even through the fraying of your bond, your sickness, you knew that voice. You listened when given an order. You allowed your head to loll back to look up at him, but your expression was still set in that same hard glare. You weren’t on a battlefield. You were on base, far away from the acrid explosions and hot gunpowder. How dare he pretend otherwise? “Why?” you bit back in response. “This isn’t some tactical decision, Simon. Don’t treat me like one of your fuckin’ rookies.” 

He took a sharp breath through his teeth, obviously trying to control himself. He knew you were weak, the bond sickness taking so much more from you than it ever did him. But your defiance, your spirit despite the bond sickness was making his alpha go crazy. Even with you glaring up at him, he stared down at you with fierce eyes as his hands gripped your hips, shoving you out of the doorway and pressing you against the wall right beside it. Taking one hand off of your hip, he shut the door with a resounding click before his grip, and his attention came back entirely to you. “I ain’t treatin’ you like a goddamned rookie,” he growled out, his cold brown gaze entirely focused on your own broken one as one hand slams into the wall by your head. Even through your rage, he can see it. Feel it. He had broken you. And that knowledge caused his alpha to writhe in pain. “I’m treatin’ ya like my fuckin’ omega.” 

As he caged you in, growled those words at you, your own expression hardened. Your lips curled up to reveal your smaller omega fangs, a low growl of your own reverberating from your chest as your hands clenched into fists. It’s hard to ignore the sheer size difference between the two of you as he towers over you, his head dipped low to keep your attention. However, that did nothing to stop your rage, in fact, it increased it tenfold. 

“Oh, right. I forgot. Being your omega means less than being one of your rookies, silly me.”

You knew the second the words left your mouth that you just opened a Pandora’s box. You saw it in the way his eyes instantaneously darkened, in the way his hand left the wall before you could even blink, his fingers crushing your jaw between them in a bruising grip, forcing your head back against the wall as he brought his face ever closer to yours. However, as his face got closer, you could see the glint of something else in his eyes. Triumph. His alpha was revelling in watching you snap and get fiery again. It was a victory, in his mind, to see you able to be so angry after the bond sickness had taken so much from you. “Watch it, sweetheart,” he muttered, his voice low and gruff. “I know that attitude of yours will always be there, but careful.”

His words sent another wave of anger through you, and as he forced your head back, you jerked your neck, snapping your teeth at him, your small omega fangs glinting in the low light of his quarters. It was a clear message. Fuck the bond sickness, he had no right to touch you right now. You did not forgive him, and he has to work to even begin to earn that, and if he won’t? You would dissolve the bond without him, whether or not it risked your life. 

“Don’t sweetheart me,” you growled out, glaring up at him even as the bruising grip of his fingers squished your cheeks together, slurring your words. “Not after everything.”

His alpha instincts flared again, the desire to force you into accepting his help clear as his eyes flashed in irritation at your anger. He pressed you further into the wall, his body now flush against yours as he snarled right back. “Then do something about it,” he challenged. “Get mad. Fight me. Let it all out. But, you’re not leaving this room until you let me fix this.”

As much as you hated it, hearing Simon’s permission gave you the ability to let it all out. No matter how much you wanted to pretend that you were unaffected by him, the knowledge that he wanted you to fight, wanted to fix this broken bond between you, allowed you to finally and truly get all of the anger out, and maybe, just maybe, give the bond a chance to heal. 

And so you did. Your body jerked against his, your sallow cheeks flushing red as you bared your omega fangs and growled at him again. Your eyes held the faintest spark of life, a far cry from what they used to have, but there was something there now. 

When Simon saw that spark, the faintest hint of his omega coming back, he chuckled gruffly, his eyes glinting with a possessive heat. 

“Yes, spitfire. I want you t’ fight me. Hit me, scream, yell at me, tell me how shit of an alpha I’ve been. I don’t care. Just don’t. Hold. Back.” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, the dam inside of you broke. Months worth of anger, agony, grief, pain, and aching sadness flooded your veins like a hot, volatile drug. It felt like a living, breathing thing as the emotions curled around your lungs, your muscles, your heart. Tears pushed at your lash line, the aching pain making itself known through the rage. 

You held his cold brown gaze for a moment, your eyes searching his. When all you saw in return was steely determination, you did the only thing you could think of. Before he could even move out of the way, you shut your eyes and cranked your head back as far as it would go, and drove your forehead straight into his nose. It wasn’t nearly hard enough to break it, but definitely hard enough to hurt and make the blood start flowing. 

He staggered back from you, his hands coming up to cup his nose, but the alpha was far from angry. In fact, he was grinning, the blood pouring from his nose coating his lips and teeth. A low growl of approval rumbled from his chest as he stared at you, approval glinting in his eyes. “Good girl,” he muttered lowly, the praise slipping through so naturally. 

As his praise washed over you, you felt your stomach flip. It shouldn’t feel that good. Not after the months and months of neglect so bad that you were literally dying. But, you couldn’t help the small ember of warmth that bloomed through your chest as that muttered praise of good girl flowed through your veins like a warm blanket settling over you. 

But, you were still angry. And hurt. And countless other emotions that you couldn’t even begin to name, all just culminating into a neverending ache. And as you saw the blood marring the plush flesh of his lower lip, something inside of you snapped. 

He had made his worst mistake. He had let go of you, and now you could truly fight. 

You crouched down, using your smaller stature and power legs to kick your leg out, and you swept it across the ground, knocking the much-bigger alpha off of his feet. You watched as his massive frame hit the ground, shaking the walls, a bloom of satisfaction erupting in your chest. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins now, the only thing allowing you to move, and before he had the chance to become reoriented, you were on top of him, straddling his hips as you punched at his chest. Your tears of anguish were falling freely now, sobs breaking free with your yells. 

“You have broken me! Broken! I used to be so strong, so happy, and you destroyed that! Ripped it away from me! All because you were too fucking caught up in your own shit, your own fucking fear, that you couldn’t even be half of the alpha you needed to be!”

Simon grunted in pain as his back collided with the cold, hard tile of his quarters, his hands automatically coming up to grab at your hips. Not to shove you off, no, but to keep you on top of him. He knew he deserved this. Every punch, every pointed word, every tear. It was his penance for all of the pain and agony he had put you through, even if it was ripping his heart to absolute shreds. 

“I know, I know,” he growled softly, his voice thick with regret. “I know I did.”

You shook your head, tears and snot flying from the force. You were so angry, so hurt, but the adrenaline was quickly running its course, leaving behind only bone-deep exhaustion and pain. Your punches slowly weakened, until you were barely able to lift your hands. Instead, they came to rest on his bare chest, your omega claws digging sharply into the thick muscle that covered his chest, one of your hands directly over his heart, needing him to feel a fraction of the agony that coursed through your own. 

“Don’t you agree with me! Don’t you dare! Gods, you do this to me for months, and you… you have nothing to say for yourself!? I tried! Tried to be a good spouse, a good omega! I tried to give you your space, to be unobtrusive, even though that killed my omega! And all I fuckin’ got in return is this fucking bond sickness that is killing me! Tearing me apart from the inside out!” 

His body shuddered as your claws dug into his chest, his skin breaking under the tiny points. It hurt in every way that it could, but the tiny pinpricks of blood that welled around your claws were nothing compared to how he had hurt you. He knew that he deserved this, every inch of your wrath, of your anger, and the pain it brought for him. It was the least he could do - to bear this for you. But, Gods, it didn’t stop your words from tearing into his heart in a way your claws couldn’t even begin to touch. 

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” he repeated, his words thick with the guilt that was threatening to choke him. “And I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”

His apology broke what little strength you had left. The bond between you was fraying, seconds away from snapping completely, and you had never felt more lost. A sob broke free from your lips, the force of the sound causing your body to lurch forward. But, Simon was there. For once, he was there. His chest caught your head, your tears wetting his skin almost instantaneously as your claws scratched down his torso, leaving thin, raised red lines down his scarred skin. 

He hissed softly in response to the pain, but he made no attempt to move, to shy away from it. You had completely given up on your ego, your omega so desperate for your alpha, no matter what he had done. But, you were still so hurt, your omega so wounded that you had no idea how you were going to come back from this. 

“Just… just tell me why. Why did you do this? Why did you treat me like this?” you sobbed out into his chest, your sour, distressed omega pheromones wafting around him like a shroud of despair. 

His alpha writhed in pain at your scent. It was wrong, so, so wrong, but he had done this. His neglect, his apathy, had taken his once strong, ferocious omega and reduced her down to this. He had never seen you like this. And he never wanted to again. He could feel the bond between you slipping between his fingers, and fear rose to take its place. He wrapped his arms around you, cradling your tiny, trembling form against him, his nose burying into your hair as he pressed a featherlight, shaking kiss into it. He swallowed harshly against the lump in his throat, his heart clenching in fear. In pain. In anger at himself. “I was a coward, love.” 

You sobbed harder against his chest at his admission, shaking your head jerkily. Your body felt like it was freezing and burning up at the same time, as the frayed edges of the bond dug into you like poisonous thorns. You could feel your mind shattering, your heart stuttering as the bond sickness continued to take hold. You were dying, and you knew it. But at this point, you would almost take death over the amount of pain you were in. “That’s not a good excuse,” came your shaking reply, the words thick with tears and agony, but they were strong with conviction. “Tell me why, Simon. Tell me why, or break the godsdamned bond.” 

The words that left your lips felt like they were suffocating the alpha. Break the bond. His arms tightened around you until you were completely pressed against him, and he could feel every shudder, every quiver in your weakening body. A low growl rumbles from his chest, the sound full of pain but also a desperate desire to comfort. He had to try - to even attempt to explain, even if he wasn’t sure it would do anything. But the thought of losing you without even trying made his heart shatter, his alpha howl in protest. 

“Because I was afraid,” he murmured, his voice thick with regret and honesty as his knuckles ran across the knobs of your spine. That caused him more pain than you would ever know, feeling how you had atrophied from his neglect. How his dismissal, his abandonment had caused his once strong, beautiful omega, to waste away before his very eyes. “Afraid of getting caught up in you, in this. Of loving you, of giving you part of my heart. I didn’t know how to keep you safe. I didn’t think I was worthy of having something like that, like you. I still don’t.” 

“Then break the bond,” you whimpered out, the pain of the bond sickness, of your own emotions, and what little of Simon’s you could still feel through the barest threads of the bond ricocheting through your body, reduced you to little more than a husk lying on top of Simon. Your heart was shattering along with the bond, the broken edges of each splintering in a way that made it hard for you to breathe. Your breath pushed and pulled achingly achingly against your chapped lips like broken glass, just another thing ripping your very being apart. 

“If you can’t do this… I’ll… I’ll figure it out. The brass’ll let me stay, at least for a little bit. But, I can’t… I can’t keep doin’ this. ‘M not asking for love. ‘M not asking to be a real marriage, but I can’t be apart of a bond where ‘m not… where ‘m not bein’ taken care of. I can’t.” 

Your words were slurring, little more than a broken and pain-filled whimper against his broad chest, and Simon could practically hear the way his heart shatters beneath you. He did this. He did this. And yet, the selfish part of him couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, no matter how much pain he had put you through. The alpha snarled as he wrapped his arms around your ever-weakening frame impossibly tighter, as if he was afraid that if he didn’t hold you tight enough, you’d slip away from him forever. 

“No, baby, no,” he replied softly, but the words were filled with a growl of conviction, of promise. “I was stupid. I was so stupid, and I hurt you. Let me… let me fix this, okay? Please, baby. Lemme fix you. Just for right now.” 

Simon was begging. You didn’t know if you had ever heard him beg before, but here he was, begging you to allow him the chance to fix you. Your exhausted, wounded omega perked up a bit at his conviction, but you couldn’t help but feel like this was far too little, far too late. “I… I don’t know, Simon. How can you… how can you fix this?” 

The pained gasps between your words drove a stake of fear through Simon’s heart, his alpha whimpering painfully. He swallowed harshly against the ever-growing lump in his throat, as he knew that he had to be the pillar of strength. If he broke right now, there was no hope for you. His lips brushed against the top of your head as he inhaled your sour, rotted scent in despair, his hands running up and down your back in a vain attempt to soothe you. 

“Let me… let me have a chance,” the alpha, your alpha, pleaded. “Please baby, let me fix this. I’ll do better, I promise. Gods, I’ll do anything. Just… just let me get you better,  baby, please. And then, if you still want to break the bond, we can, okay? Just… I can’t lose you. I can’t let you die. Not like this. Never like this.”

You felt, more than heard, his words wash over you. You could feel your body failing, the bond sickness taking what little was left of you. Even with Simon’s touch, with his promises, you had a brief moment of clarity where you just knew that this still might be it, that the bond had been strained too far, the cavernous distance between the two of you still too great, that this bond sickness might still kill you, despite his promises to fix you. 

You were so tired. So, so tired. The pain is too much, your eyelids too heavy, and it felt like what was left of your shattered heart wasn’t pumping nearly enough oxygen through your veins. You were teetering on the edge, and all you wanted to do was sleep. 

“Just… just let me sleep. In here. With you. Please?” you mumbled, the words soft and slurred. Any fight, any pride you had just a few minutes ago was long gone, and if you were going to die, your omega wanted it to be right here, in your alpha’s arms, taken peacefully in your sleep. “I need… just, please, Si.” 

Simon’s resolve shattered at the nickname that fell past your lips. He instantly sat up, gathering your frail, fragile body in his arms as he nodded, his own tears finally breaking free. 

His fault. All his fault. Always his fault. 

He quickly stood up, your body light (too light, too light) in his arms as he carried you to his bed. He was terrified. He could feel how slow your heartbeat was, how weak your body was, how slurred your words were. He shushed you softly, gently, but the sound warbled against his own tears. 

“Shhh, shhh, baby. I got you. I got you. Just… just sleep, okay? I’ll be right here. Right here. Never leavin’ your side again. I promise. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Just sleep.” 

He gingerly laid you on the bed, surrounding you with blankets and pillows, anything he could find that was drenched in his alpha scent, before his body came to blanket you. He couldn’t lose you. And he will keep his promise, even as his own silent tears fell down around your now-unconscious face. What’s that old saying? Oh, right. You never know what you have until it’s gone.

[box-number-two]

poland currently wins the political absurdity level so let me give you a run down of our recent presidential debate(s) from 11th april 2025

there are two main presidential election candidates who have realistic chances of winning: right wing Nawrocki (evil) and centrist Trzaskowski (lesser evil)

Nawrocki challenges Trzaskowski to a debate

Trzaskowski agrees and organises a debate in cooperation with multiple tv stations including public tv (yikes… is this even legal?) in a tiny town Końskie in bumfuck nowhere

Nawrocki says that if his party is not included in the debate organisation then he is not going

Nawrocki organises his own debate (alone? can there be a debate if you are alone?) in the same tiny town, 900m away from Trzaskowski's debate's studio, one hour before Trzaskowski's debate

one of the other many president candidates, Hołownia (the current parlament marshal), writes on social media that he's gonna show up uninvited to the debate. what are the gonna do? not let him in? the marshal?

other micro candidates say they gonna show up too

and they do show up to Nawrocki's debate

organisers scramble to squeeze multiple candidates on the podium. cards for drawing lots look like regular a4 paper sheets

left wing candidate Senyszyn shows up late and greets the extremely right wing crowd (remember, this is Nawrocki's debate, so the crowd is his too. people who live in Końskie later said they've never seen these people before)

Senyszyn acts mildly insane, like she knew beforehand what an absolute circus this is gonna be and she steals internet's heart with her meme behaviour

one of the lesser candidates who showed up says he's gonna build 6 nuclear power plants in 6 months

at some point Hołownia says they should all go to Trzaskowski's debate. what are they gonna do? not let them in?

there's dangerously little police force

the crowd of onlookers has a Moment and tries to storm the studio building, unsuccessfully, but it looked bad

more candidates join: Trzaskowski (obviously. it's his debate and he's been waiting for Nawrocki to finally show up), left-wing Biejat, and…. some dude?

one of the micro candidates asks this dude who he is and his answer is "just a little guy :)"

it later turns out that he indeed is one of the micro micro candidates but like, it could've been just a random person, for all we knew in the moment

there's pretty much no introduction to the candidates. who are these people?

Senyszyn continues to live in the moment. she draws (?) something in her notebook most of the time. she asks Nawrocki what he's gonna do about priests convicted of pedophilia when he goes to the Vatican after he wins the election (what did she mean by this?)

debate commentators eat popcorn from one bowl

one of the candidates who didn't show up tweets about jewish gollum

at some point Nawrocki places polish flag in front of him and lgbt flag in front of Trzaskowski, as some kind of dumb bait

Trzaskowski has a huge eyeroll moment and just puts the rainbow flag somewhere out of sight

in a stroke of absolute pure genius, Biejat says she can take the rainbow flag from him because she's not afraid to show support. let me remind you that Trzaskowski is the lesser evil, he's the guy queer people were supposed to vote for in 2nd round and now Biejat made him look like an absolute fool

and he already looked like a fool anyway, organising a possibly illegal debate

if he organised this debate with private tv only it would be no problem. i mean, why invite only Nawrocki (can you imagine all the toxic yaoi memes) but at least it would be legal. but he mixed public tv in there. for all we know he could be the one writing debate questions. on public tv which is supposed to be impartial

candidates who decided to not show up are furious. they made the seemingly correct choice but now it turns out they've missed out on The Defining Situation of the whole pre-election

at some point one of the lesser candidates just flat out asked Trzaskowski why the hell he decided to do this debate and Trzaskowski began his answer with "this is a very good question"

[mynonjo]

Heavenly Body

Minthara in armor. Period.

Thanks @bloodpraxis for bullying me into drawing a proper armor and XPPen for giving me a chance to try their XPPen Deco Pro Gen2 ♡✧( ु•⌄• ) You can can use 'mynonjo5' to get an extra 5% off on the products in XPPen official store.

Below is my personal review of my new tablet (and a pic of my humble workspace)✌(‘ω’✌)

XPPen Deco Pro Gen2

A sponsoring moment first ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

You can use 'mynonjo5' to get an extra 5% off on the products in XPPen official store. US store CA store

The size: I went for the XLW — the largest size and let me tell you, it's sure is one big boy. It's like working on an A3 sized paper and the tablet takes up a big chunk of your workplace. But hey, that extra space means you can really let loose with your arm swings for some dynamic lines. If that's too much to handle, don't sweat it, opt for the smaller sizes like the MW (A5) and LW (A4).

X-Remote Control: The X-Remote Control might be my favourite feature. With programmable buttons, it's a lifesaver for us shortcut maniacs. No need to reach for the keyboard any longer. The remote also works even without turning on the tablet, which is quite handy.

The Pen Case: This thing is metal, sleek, and just plain cool. Keeps your pen safe when traveling about.

The Pen: Eight extra nibs in two different types? I don't think I'd have to worry about replacements anytime soon. And with the eraser end, one less keyboard shortcut is needed.

Bluetooth: Okay, so I'm usually all about cables for a stable connection. But with my table looking like a cable jungle, Bluetooth has been a lifesaver.

Overall, loving my Deco Pro Gen2 experience so far!

[doggyspeakart]

✩ Make your own Kyrii Plushie ✩

Thank you @free-sewing-patterns and @jestersneopia for asking so kindly for me to release my pattern dupe! :3 These guys are very intricate little plushies so I did my best to make something comprehensive. I also made detailed instructions which I will include after the readmore, so long post ahead!

McD's Plush Kyrii

What you will need:

•The two included images printed on 8.5"x11" (A4/Letter) paper.

•Enough of your desired Fabrics (reference the pattern size on your paper, you don't really need much at all)

✩ I recommend a short pile faux fur or other nonstretch fabric for the two body colors, and a long pile (1-4cm) faux fur for the mane and tail.

✩ You can also make the mane and tail using yarn or doll hair wefts by attaching them (sewn or glued) to a backing fabric like cotton or felt.

•Scissors or precision knife to cut fabric.

•Sewing implements (needle, pins, thimble, thread scissors, etc.)

•Thread matching one or both of your body color fabrics.

•black thread or embroidery floss for the mouth embroidery.

✩embroidery floss or thread in your desired eye colors (recommended a white for sclera, an iris color, and a black for outlines)✩OR✩buttons or safety eyes in your desired size and color.

•Stuffing (two or three handfuls of polyfill will do the job)

✩ribbon or cord to use as arm tension band and/or a loop to clip hardware like keychains and backpack hangers.

((✩ optional ))

General note: default suggested stitch length is 3mm apart unless stated otherwise.

Step 1

Print out the pattern, making sure to format your printer to use the full page with no margins. Check print preview to be sure nothing is cut off. (I made the piece inventory sheet to sort of offset any default margin weirdness but I'm new to this so let me know if it messes up.)

Step 2

Conceptualize your design and gather your materials. Are you cloning one of the plushies already out there, or making your own design? It is always good to keep reference on hand during any art project!

What special design elements are you translating to plush form? Keep in mind this pattern is small and intricate and it might be easier to omit or simplify certain design elements if you are working from something more detailed.

The cutting guide assumes 1 base color, 1 accent color, and 1 fur color with no significant shape, size, or design difference to the original McD's plushie. (Only a few fixes for symmetry and fur direction.)

Step 3

Prepare your base material for cutting. If you are doing embroidery or applique designs this may be easier while the fabric is flat and whole. Same with fur wefting, do anything like that while you have one big piece of fabric to work with. Trace the pattern pieces using chalk, heat erase pen, or some other washable marking tool using the cut guide provided. (I recommend cutting out any shape you need to add details to from the pieces inventory page, then trace those pieces on your fabric in roughly the same positions as the cut guide page.) Then do any embroidery or details you need to do while the pattern is flat.

Embroidery tips:

• Use a stiff backing piece like interfacing or felt behind your fabric to make the embroidery more durable and stiff.

•Use a back stitch or chain for lines, line in color for crisp color-changes.

•Parallel vertical lines close together catch the light and read as blocks of color best.

•Don't use stitches that are too long or loose, build stitches up diagonally like a brick pattern instead, the key is to attempt to stay parallel.

•If you are using sewing thread instead of embroidery thread, use two or three strands at once to save time.

•When you are done, cut away your backing fabric/interfacing a little outside where your embroidery stops so as not to interfere with future seams.

Step 4

Cut out your materials. If you didn't need to trace from the pieces inventory for pre-cut details, then you can just pin the cut guide paper to your fabric and cut it directly. Otherwise simply follow your trace and cut out your pieces. Be sure to keep track of which pieces go on the left and right of your plushie.

Step 5

Begin assembly by sewing all your darts first, those will be on each side of your face, inner leg, arm bottom, belly, and back pieces. Follow the blue lines that appear anywhere that says "dart" and any sew lines that create a V-like dip in the perimeter of the piece (like the arm bottom and belly pieces). Fold the seam allowance inside your seam so that the right sides of the fabric end up with a clean, unnoticeable seam. I recommend a tight, short straight-stitch about 2mm apart on darts.

Step 6

Make the loose body parts.

Sew together ears, arms, and tail by placing right sides together and sewing around based on the solid black lines in the pattern.

•Each ear will have a base color piece and an accent color piece. Make sure their shape lines up so that right sides of the fabric are together. The ear pieces are fairly flat and their sew lines should line up perfectly. Use any stitch you are comfortable with, straight stitch about 3mm apart works just fine.

•Sew one top arm piece and one bottom arm piece together for each arm. The discrepancy in their shapes creates a slight twist that gives the arm part a tube-like shape. I recommend pinning the pieces at the ends and wrist first to get the tension/gathering correct on the arm part. Any stitch works but a straight stitch will probably be easier to keep track of tension with or to rip if you make a mistake and need to retry. Keep it tight, about 2mm apart.

•For the tail, sandwich your pieces right sides together so that all the fur is tucked inside and you can sew the edges with a secure stitch like a whip or back stitch.(about 3-4mm apart) You might need to pick or brush out the fibers if they get caught in the seam.

Once you finish each piece, flip it inside out, wrong sides should remain inside while the right sides of the fabric show and all seam allowance remains inside. If any edges are having trouble flipping inside out, use a thin tool like a crochet hook or chopstick to prod them from the inside.

Stuff the 2 arms until they hold a 3D shape, firm fill recommended. Leave the other pieces in this step unstuffed.

You should have two ears, two arms, and one fluffy tail.

Step 7

Shape the face.

With the dart now sewn into the cheek, the two seams with the || registration marks should be much closer in length. Line the seam up according to the marks and fudge the rest of the length using tension. I recommend  using a ladder stitch on the right sides while keeping in mind the general size of the seam allowance.

Repeat on the other side.

When you are done, your face piece should have curvy cheeks.

Step 8

Build up the head.

Connect the forehead piece to the face piece, the curve's center goes right above the nose.

Sew in the chin piece along lower jaw.

There is a bit of leeway into how long the ears will be and which angle they stick out. For best results, give it a test right side out and pin where you like the ears to stay.

The ears go into the notches on the top of the face piece, about half of the ear should fit into that notch. Sew it into that notch, any remaining ear folds around that top seam towards the forehead and is stitched down to give the ear a slight curve that helps it remain upright.

When you're finished you should have the (bald) head.

Step 9

Construct the body.

Sew the two inner leg pieces onto the sides of the belly piece.

Sew the back pieces onto the belly and inner leg piece, leaving the arm notches alone to make the arm holes. Sew all the way around the inner leg and to the center line on the belly where the dart seam sits. There may be some overlap/extra on the back piece.

Sandwich the tail between the two back pieces and sew them together. You can adjust the angle of the tail before you sew it in, the original plushie has its tail sticking up behind the back. (Tip: if you fully close the tail seam you can use a loose couple of stitches to attach it to the body to make a hanging tail that wags when you pick up and shake the plushie.)

Your current parts should be a head, a body, two arms, and the hair piece.

Step 10

Attaching the hair piece to the head.

(OPTIONAL): First, if you want to add a keychain loop like the original plushies, snip two tiny holes into the backing of your hair piece about 6mm apart and feed a small length of cord or ribbon inside to create a loop on the outside.

Leave plenty of slack on the ends of the loop for a more sturdy hold.

Secure the loop and holes with a lot of sewing and/or glue to keep the fur fabric from fraying. Stitch down the ends of the cord/ribbon to the backing of your hair piece.

Start sewing the hair piece to the head beginning with the hairline along the forehead to get it nice and clean. Next sew across the ears and down the face piece on both sides.

Your head should now have hair, with the rest of the mane hanging down behind.

Step 11

Sew head to body.

Make sure the chin piece lines up to the belly piece, the bottom of the head should line up with the rest of the back piece on either side.

Next, sew down one side of the hair piece to the back piece, connecting the bottom edge to the seam near the tail and stopping.

Leave the other side seam of the hair piece open for arm adjustment and stuffing.

Step 12

Attach the arms.

Tension Band Explanation:

The original plushies have an arm tension band inside to keep the plushie's shape and seams intact when pulling on the arms. Generally I think this can be skipped without much issue, but could be a good idea if you plan to use this as a bag hanger or keychain plush, as the arms are the extremities most susceptible to getting caught on things, and when they are secured more comprehensibly they are less likely to rip the plush apart when yanked. Not a big deal if you just plan to keep them around the house.

(OPTIONAL): If you want to install your own arm tension band, start with the plushie right-sides-out. Sew the band to one arm and pull it taught through the chest to the other arm, securing the tension band before sewing the arms into the body piece.

To sew the arms, be sure to pose them and pin them in place right-side out first. (originals usually have one arm down and the other up on their chins/waving, though they vary a lot and there are plenty of ways to position them for different expressions.)

Then, either turn insideout again or ladder stitch the arms into place.

Almost there! You should have all your pattern pieces together at this point.

Step 13

Stuffing the plushie.

Make sure your plushie is right side out, with no incorrect seams or holes other than one of the seams between the hair piece and back piece. If you need to, gently prod a crochet hook or chopstick along the backs of seams to turn them out.

OPTIONAL: To make a weighted plush, add a small mesh bag of plastic pellets or weight of your choice to the bottom of the plushie before stuffing.

Add in your polyfill, pillow fluff, yarn fibers, scraps, or whatever you decide to stuff the plushie with, paying attention to the density of the stuffing.

I recommend keeping the head and feet more densely stuffed to keep their shape while leaving the body a bit more loose for a squishable belly.

Step 14

Close up the last seam.

Using a ladder stitch, close up your last seam, pulling tight and tying off your thread at the end for a clean, invisible seam.

Now that all the seams are in, you can now brush or pick any long fibers from the hair and tail out of the seams.

The plushie is whole! You can keep it like it is, or do some thread sculpting for a more finished look!

Step 15

Thread Sculpting.

(OPTIONAL):

Using thread in the color of your body fabrics, you can pull tension at various points to create a more sculpted shape. The original had two through the face (vertically through the chin up behind the forehead, and horizontally between the corners of the eyes), and two over top of each hand and foot to look like the separation of the toes. See the original pattern pieces for precise placement.

And that's it! You should have a finished plush kyrii!

If you have any questions or concerns please contact doggyspeak. Feel free to use this pattern, share it, or edit it with or without credit.

PLEASE DO NOT SELL THIS PATTERN OR INSTRUCTIONS! IT IS BOTH NOT ORIGINALLY DESIGNED BY ME AND ALSO SOMETHING I'VE WORKED VERY HARD ON!

If you would like to see more pattern reconstructions from me, show me your finished plushies and provide feedback and suggestions to me. I would love to see what you have made and hear what you'd like to see next! ^o^

[enwoso]

Leah x alessia x child!reader

Alessia is away for a late night meeting so leah has to get reader to bed alone for the first time. Reader is scared to go to bed without mummy so leah lets her sleep in the big bed

easy influenced | alessia russo x leah williamson x child!reader

grumpy masterlist

alessia always felt she had a good work, to family life balance however what she never liked was when meetings ran over and it meant she wasn't able to put her own daughter to bed.

luckily she didn't need to scramble around calling people to look after you as leah was already on hand, most likely sat on the sofa watching a children's cartoon with you as you twirled your hair around your finger - a motion you only ever did when you were tired.

"tiny, i think its time for bed" leah cooed as she for the past ten minutes had watched your eyes flutter shut before you would jump them open again just for your eyes to flutter shut again. you mumbled a response as you sleepily pulled yourself from the couch making you way towards the stairs, leah following closely behind.

leah helped you brush your teeth, as well as showing you the best way to gurgle the water in your mouth. a trick alessia wished leah had never shown you, partly cause you had now started to do it with every drink you had. before leah got your bed ready how you liked it.

you pillow in a certain way along with your comforter as you climbed into bed, "which book?" leah asked, now knowing that no matter how tired you were you wouldn't go to sleep if there wasn't a bedtime story whether it took one word or two books.

the blonde having stood in the doorway and watched as alessia would sit on the edge of your bed and read to you many of times before, watching how your little mind would switch off. mostly likely about to have little dreams about the book which had just been read to you.

"is it bedtime!" you smiled as you pointed to the small a4 book in the collection of all your other books. a small chuckle came from leah as how quick you made your decision. leah picking up the book about an elephant and its tatics about trying to delay its bedtime. a few of the delaying tatics which you sometimes would use just to stay up those extra five minutes.

"is it bedtime yet, mr elephant?" leah began in her best story telling voice as she sat on the edge of you bed holding the book up so you could see the colourful pictures that were in the book, though the dim light of your night light.

"no silly! i'm still in the bath!" leah continued as a small giggle came from you as leah read the book, leah quickly moving onto the next page as you listened closely, your eyes quickly beginning to feel heavy.

leah only managed three pages before your breathing shallowed and you were tightly gripping onto your esme the elephant. a small smile appearing on leah's lips as she tucked you in. brushing your loose blonde hairs from your face, her fingers lingering for a moment before she reached down to place a loving kiss to your forehead.

"a goodnight kiss from your mummy" leah whispers, before leaning back down to place another soft kiss to your forehead, "sweet dreams tiny"

leah lets out a content sigh as she walks out of your room as quietly as she can as if one wrong step on the ground and you'd be awake again.

-

leah managed to get herself cosy on the couch managing to catch the second half of the champions league match for arsenal. but just as they were through on goal, the blonde sat on the edge of her seat a small tap was felt on her arm.

her gaze turning to look, seeing your sleepy form stood with your esme tucked under your arm as a small pout had formed on your lips. "what's wrong tiny?" leah asking softly as her eyes flickered back towards to the tv, arsenal had missed the open goal, before she turned to grab your small hands and wrap you into a hug.

"can't sleep, want mummy." you admitted quietly, your voice a little shaky as leah nodded a pout forming across her lips. this was the first time you'd had to go to bed without your mummy in a long time. you weren't a fan of change - you liked the way your mummy did things.

“how about we finish your story?” leah suggested as you slowly nodded, leah scooped you up into her arms and made her way up the stairs. about to push your bedroom door open with her foot but your started to whine.

“no in there, it scary-“ you whined digging your head into leah’s neck as a small sigh came from leah as she assessed her options quickly over in her head.

surely alessia would be happy that you were asleep when she got home — even if that meant you weren’t asleep in your own bed..

leah spun in her heel, walking towards alessia’s room knowing exactly which door was her — having spent many of nights wrapped tangled in those sheets.

placing you down in the bed as leah quickly rushed to go and get the book she’d read you the first time as you let out small whines for her to come back.

“i’m here, tiny. now where were we” leah smiled, lying against the top of the bed, you tucked up close with your stuffed animal close to your chest as leah began to read to you for the second time tonight.

but what leah hadn’t expected to happen was for herself to drift off to sleep too, reading in a dimly lit room on a comfy bed was a recipe for a comfy nap.

only waking up when she heard alessia call out for her from down stairs along with the sound of rustling bags.

“i’m up here less” leah sleepily called out as she walked out from alessia’s room, a soft smile coming into alessia face as she saw leah as she made her way up the stairs.

“did lovie go down for bed okay?” alessia asked as leah stopped from alessia from making it to stepping onto the landing as leah winced at the question.

“yeah but-“ leah stuttered out as fidgeting with her hands, as alessia awaited for her to finish her sentence.

"-okay but first you have to promise me you won't get mad-" leah cracked as she looked to alessia who was stood just on the stair below her. alessia's eyebrows rising as a look of fear flashed over her as well as a small groan escaping from her lips.

"love, what have you-" alessia started but before she even got the chance to get her sentence out, leah was interrupted her.

"ah, ah say promise." leah butted in before alessia had a chance to finish her sentence, a roll of the eyes but never the less alessia knew she was going to have to agree.

a sigh coming from alessia as she nodded, "ok, ok i won't get mad. i promise" a content smile came from leah as she pulled alessia towards her bedroom door, confusing the blondes head as to what was going to be behind the door.

"oh leah-" alessia whisper yelled, seeing your sleeping form sprawled across her bed. your hair all messed up as your chest heaved slowly up and down before she turned to her girlfriend, a stern look on her face which definetly told leah that she had broke her promise.

"ey! you said you wouldn't get mad." leah pouted as she crossed her arms across her chest, a sulk coming over her as she sat herself down on the end of the bed.

"but leah, love you know i've been trying to work on her sleeping in her own bed-" alessia began, it had been a struggle to say the least especially since there would be nights when you’d be in a hotel room so naturally you’d just gravitate towards sleeping in your mummy’s bed for comfort. but seeing the look on leah’s face meant she couldn’t stay mad at her love for long.

“i know, i know. i did try. i promise. but she woke up and said she was scared and i-“ leah rambled out quietly as alessia smiled softly making her way across the room and sitting on leah’s lap.

“shh, le it’s fine. i’m not angry” alessia cooed, placing a soft kiss to her lips her arm outstretching to go around leah’s neck as she sunk into alessia’s touch.

“but she has got you wrapped around her little finger” alessia teased, a small giggle leaving her lips as she kissed leah’s cheek before moving from her lap to go and get ready for bed.

[mpchev]

Update on fanbinding dissertation: binding the dissertation itself!

After many days and nights of writing and wrangling footnotes and proofreading (where I couldn't convince my laptop that yes, I meant textualisation, not sexualisation), 'twas time to bind the beasts! In three copies, no less! Which I approached with way too much confidence from my one fanbind experience, and came with many fun little surprises due to the format guidelines I had to follow 🤡

This is going to be a long one, so here's my happy unfocused mug to confirm that it all ends well:

First pickle: The typesetting. I absolutely loved typesetting fanfic, but the dissertation had to be A4 (way less fun, boo-hoo), one-sided, with every page numbered. Did you know that LibreOffice won't let you add blank pages and only number the non-blank ones, without skipping numbers? In order to print signatures I could fold into one-sided pages, only numbered on the right-hand pages, I ended up switching to landscape orientation and including the equivalent of a blank page in the left margin.

Second pickle: The imposing, which I couldn't figure out using the amazing bookbinder with my weird landscape 2-page layout. I finally gave in and rearranged all the pages manually, which looked like p. 1 on the recto / p. 10 on the verso, then p2/p9, p3/p8, p4/p7, p5/p8, p6/p7. And because there was no way I was paying print-in-colour prices for all of this, I further split the manually imposed pages into two files, one for the greyscale printer (cheaper) and one for the colour printer (highway robbery). Still came up to ~£70, just for printing.

Very glad I went in chunks of 10 for the signatures, it made both the math and the folding using sheets from two different piles much easier, highly recommend (if for some absurd reason you also want to bind one-sided numbered pages in folded signatures).

Third pickle: Linear time. Had planned on having so much time to print and bind this thing, but kept writing and rewriting and proofing and oops! It was due in less than 24 hours and it was still not out of the laptop. So.

22/09/24, 6pm: Got to the library, started printing.

6.45pm: Found another printer where all the paper was the same shade of white, started printing again 🤦‍♂️ (kept the the misprints to use as scrap paper when glueing)

7.30pm: Started folding the 150 sheets of paper (3 x 100-page dissertation, 2 pages per sheet). Went from the last episode of The Magnus Protocol, to an episode of Welcome to Night Vale, to deciding restart The Magnus Archive, which felt almost poetic.

9pm: Headed back home, trimmed the edges (with a borrowed guillotine), folded the endpapers, stabbed everything. Lack of pictures to be blamed on my inability to mess with linear time, and the eventual sleep deprivation.

10.30pm, I think? Started sewing the signatures together, again with Supernatural (which I started rewatching when I submitted my first dissertation assignment in mid-May, and finished 2 days after submitting the dissertation itself, again, such poetry).

2am, probably? Tipped the endpapers and glued cheesecloth over the spines. Somehow figured out where to set the three textblocks to dry (I don't have a press). Sadly gave up on sewing on (or glueing) headbands, because time.

3am-ish: Cut the missing cover pieces out of millboard (had already cut 4 of 6 covers, since I knew it had to be A4), measured the spines of the three textblocks and cut those as well.

???am: Did some math, because sure, that's the right time for that. Cut the bookcloth to size, glued the cover pieces on the bookcloth. Remarkably only messed up the measurements on one of them! That means one of the copies has a millimetre of millboard showing in the inside corners of the back cover, but not enough time/bookcloth/millboard to redo it, onward we go!

Way past dawn: Took a break for food while the covers somewhat dried. Cased the three textblocks in the three covers, with the endpapers bubbling, which took me by surprise since it was the same paper and same glue I had used for the fanbind without any problem. I'm now thinking that bigger book = more time needed to apply the glue = endpapers getting warped, but I was so exhausted by this point that who knows. Again, no time to redo it!

9.30am: Stacked the dissertations under the heavy reference books I used to write the dissertation. Toute est dans toute hein. Went to bed while they (mostly) dried.

2.30pm: Woken up by my neighbour's dj set. Eventually put all that hard work in a tote and walked to school to hand it in at 4.30pm.

Fourth and last pickle: The titling. Couldn't find paper long enough to do a half-dust jacket like I did last time. Had big cutout plans, ran out of time and couldn't finish testing those. Also had some thicker textured paper I thought of cutting and glueing to the cover as a title card, but it turned out too thin and was warping. Finally resigned myself to submitting it with a blank cover, but one of my teachers asked if I would mind adding the title on with metallic markers to make it easier to identify (one copy will eventually be on the shelf at the Institute), and I'm SO HAPPY with how it turned out. Metallic markers. Why didn't I think of that. (I did, however, think about dressing appropriately for the occasion.)

So, is it possible to print and bind 3 books in less than 24 hours? Yes! Am I glad I did it? Also yes, very satisfying, love being extra! Would I do it again? God no, I've been sleeping for two weeks and I still haven't recovered. Can't wait to start binding something else though, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

That's it! That's over! Aaaaaah! Now waiting for the grade and comments, and hopefully soon I'll be able to share the content as well.

I'll also try to post some more about the research/writing process itself, somewhere between the late nights reading international treaties on income tax and the early mornings spent figuring out how to apply for a phd next.

Thank you so much to everyone who followed along, this was way more fun than I ever could have hoped!

[hansoeii]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

[kloofspeaks]

The Creation of a Physical Copy of Coming Home (But Not to You) - The complete summary

Since, I promised I would update this as soon as I started working on it and boy, has it been several hours of me trying to learn how to use Microsoft word, hundreds of songs in my Jayvik playlist and perhaps, a small minor emotional breakdown. I have gotten Coming Home (But Not to You) formatted for bookbinding.

I hope @lesbianherald knows that they have not only written about 678 pages of a glorious and beautiful story but when in book format, that comes out to be 340 pages which is bigger than Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare (which.. you out wrote him twice). I swear, I promised to update you and that’s literally all I have besides a minor practice signature before I venture out to find a book suitable to hold the piece and paper that looks a tad more vintage.

The first draft pages in word looked like this, this was also MY final concept before I went out of my way to make a little page design in procreate. (Featured later)

The Artist featured also gave me permission to use this for this personal project. Please, check them out with this link here: X (their art is gorgeous)

[Written January 3rd, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Okay, we’ve settled on some covers. Might be wondering why I didn’t want to make one from scratch? I didn’t want to weather it, personally. It’s a lot more work and the threading and binding itself is going to take most of my time. I’m working on A4 (Actually, it ended up being smaller than A4 at about 11 by 8.25 but when folded it’s 5.5 by 8.25) paper format, having to adjust my measurements as we go because they were drastically different in the word document. I edited some of the features of the pages and actually sketched out a design for my Cricut to use for the cover and chapter page emblems for just a little personal flare!

I actually went to the thrift store and broke apart books that werent in use to provide me a proper book board because the ones I had were too thick! Reuse and recycle, baby! (All for the power of Jayvik)

A little thing about this project is that I actually bought weathered paper for this! Yeah, that.. it didn’t end up coming LMAO. I did buy some book corners for some metal flare. The hexcore design I drew out, myself, in procreate and also cut out in Cricut (thank you, TikTok tutorials).

A little fact as well; I haven’t bookbinded in 3 years! My books when I started were actually GOD awful— which is also part of why I chose a base book frame because that was my biggest weakness when it came to this. The binding itself was actually the easiest part to me when I started! I kid you not, I did very much come out of retirement because of Jayvik. I wanted a physical book I could mark and leave notes on, so why not make it myself? I’m extremely thankful, I got permission to do this and plan on doing this with another one of my favorite Jayvik fanfictions once it is completed, so perhaps… maybe. I don’t know, after I had gotten all the signatures out I had realized that the book covers used WERE TOO SMALL! This is the book before pressing for over 48 hours and in a middle of a snowstorm!

[Written on January 6th, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

And the book is binded! I had used wax thread which is already thicker and way more durable and actually made for bookbinding. It has already had about two layers of glue on the binding but I tend to do about four just for extra strength and protection. It should be going in the book in about a day or two, which will lead to the final update of this!

It took me about three well-spread out days, six hours of actual sewing and teaching myself how to use a curved needle without violently stabbing my skin but I was able to get the box-stitch in.. I tried to even out the layers as I had binded too fast in one part and two signatures ended up being uneven, whoops. I fixed that with a tap of a literal hammer (No pun intended) but this was truly an experience. The parts with the open black page on front is when the stitching was glued and the book pages were placed on. This also meant I had the actual book for it to sit in ready. Which was crazy to think about.

Would you believe me if I told you I measured this all by eye and had to cut the pages four different ways to make this book actually become a book. The next paragraphs will be glamor shots. Thank you for sticking with me— encouraging me on this because of my LACK of experience in this entire field and prayers for my poor fingers.

[Written on January 13th, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

And we’re here, it’s finished and settled. Here are the glamor shots. I do plan on doing more bookbinding in the future as I DID enjoy the process but folding and making signatures will forever be my enemy. Here’s the glamor shots and underneath the cut is all my reactions and build up to finishing this monster of a book.

A couple things, I never want to do this again. If I ever do a fanfiction THIS big again. I’m spilting it into two books, perhaps even three depending on how big it is. The symbol on the front is the Piltover symbol, I tried to find Jayce’s Talis house symbol and THERES NOTHING, I literally tried drawing and everything. My Cricut didn’t want to cut it and trust me, I tried for over three hours with the symbol.

What only matters is that I think it’s cute. I think the simplicity and mix of tears added to the final design a lot more than I thought it would.

If I ever do this again. (Knowing me, I will.) I plan on revisiting this, probably make another version when I have more bookbinding knowledge under my belt LMAO, but enjoy this lengthy post. I’m now going to go to bed.

Also huge shout out to my Zelda art book for being my primary book press for this entire thing. I really need a book press.

[Finished, January 14th at 12:08 AM, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

[thefangirlfever]

MIGUEL O'HARA x reader (18+, smut) MDNI

firefighter AU🧑‍🚒🔥🚒

Art credit: @kit-and-wolfe on Tumblr

Summary: You and Miguel are dating and he had hidden from you that he took part to a fireman’s calendar.

Notes: Just a silly idea I got from seeing multiple great firefighter Aus and a conversation with I had with @lazyjellyfish300 about Miguel! firefighter getting flustered. This story is a direct continuation of this post.

Tags: smut, F/M, AU, Firefighter AU, cunnilingus, PIV penetration, established relationship, fingering, no plot just smut, horny FMC, dirty talk (may be cringe), mention of masturbation (F/M), aftercare, breast and nipple play, hint at size kink, discussion around contraception

Word count: 3858 words

April was now your favorite month of the year. Most people would think that it was because you were excited about the upcoming Spring, the Sun in the sky and all those things, or maybe it was your birthday’s month. But you were unfortunately more pragmatic.

No, it was simply that the picture on your calendar for this month was to die for. Lying on glazed paper, in A4 format, a hand on his hip and his helmet on the other a tall, stupidly handsome man was looking at the camera with a bedroom look in his eyes. Firefighters have never been your thing, and you even considered it weird that a whole profession could be fetishized in a way or another but...that was different. You had to admit that you kind of see the appeal of it now. Honestly, this man could be anything else than a firefighter and you would probably still get the hots while looking at his picture.

Abs for days, rock hard chest with the right amount of thick, curly black hair that lazily trailed down toward a mouth-watering happy trail (that could only let you presume of a thick, happy bush), the infamous V-line that made his hips dip sensually under oily skin… Well, they really went all out with this picture. It was probably a bit edited but still...They even left his five o’clock shadow and the scar on his left arm. Good. Very good. That’s some professional job, you could tell.

You could have spend hours looking at this picture and still find new details about it. In fact the idea was very tempting, hence why your calendar was still stuck on the month of April despite being already mid-August. The calendar was pinned on your fridge and you could look at it every time you would cook or eat, which was exactly what you were doing right now. Well, at least you were trying because as soon as you would try to bring your fork to your mouth, your eyes would land again on the perfect picture.

The fact that you knew the model didn’t help at all your trouble.

You had met Miguel a few months ago through joined acquaintances and you didn’t even know he was a firefighter at the time. He would rarely speak about his job, not even to complain about it. And certainly not to brag. You quickly realized that he was quite secretive and shy when it came to his private life. It was very rare, almost impossible to hear him brag and he didn’t really take compliments very well. No idea where this insecurity could come from. He was quite a catch honestly, not even speaking physically. Miguel was overall someone nice and caring, as if his job didn’t already convey this trait of his personality enough. Maybe that’s why the two of you got along very well. When he was devoted to the well-being of most people and selfless, you were selfish, pragmatic and even a bit bitter. He was the type of person who would wake up at 4 in the morning to help the others and you were the type of person who after waking up at 10 am would shamelessly ogle the picture of a half-naked man, wondering about the size of his…

Your phone softly buzzed, taking you out your daydream. As soon as Miguel’s name appeared on the screen, you came back to your senses and picked up the phone.

“Hi…”

“Were you still sleeping?”, he asked with an amused voice. While most people would find you lazy, Miguel had simply accepted that your lifestyle was not his and that you were more of a night owl. This doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t tease you from time to time about it.

You rubbed your hand over your tired eyes and groaned into the phone:

“No...I was...eating...is there a problem?”

“You left your sweater in my car yesterday. I thought I could come give it back to you after training.”

Your brain took a few seconds to understand his words but when it did, your eyes opened wide and you jumped to your feet, scurrying toward the front door.

“You’re already here?”

“Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I could stop by. I also brought breakfast since I thought you would have just waken up…”

He sounded almost apologetic as if he had dragged you of bed. Your heart stammered into your chest and a stupid grin curled up your lips. Sweet, selfless Miguel. How did he manage to always make your cold demeanor crumble? That was a mystery to you.

You opened the door and there, stood Miguel, a large bag of edibles in his arm, your sweater perfectly folded in a small bag while he was still holding his phone. And as if the sight of him wasn’t sweet enough already, he was still wearing his athleisure clothes, ie a tank top and loose grey shorts. His skin was covered in a thin sheet of sweat and his brown locks were stuck to his temples and the back of his neck. A treat for the eyes.

The moment he saw you in your sleepwear, he turned off his phone and a small blush crept up his face. You were only wearing a short and a tank top but he didn’t mind. That was...quite a nice view.

“Well, you are definitely awake.”, he joked quietly as you made sign for him to enter the apartment. “I was afraid that I would wake you up.”

You could definitely wake me up anytime you want.

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine.” You grabbed the bag he was handing you with your sweater inside. It was neatly folded, even better than what you would usually do to your clothes. You might as well invite him over to share breakfast with you. Miguel gladly accepted and followed you to the kitchen and as much as he tried to be a gentleman his eyes would always end up following the sway of your hips and the very appealing bounce of your butt. He started to feel a bit tight in his shorts and this feeling only increased when he noticed that you weren’t wearing a bra under your top. He cleared his throat, trying to chase those thoughts away; it was too early in the morning for this.

“I found this small french bakery down the block and I thought you would like to try these…”, he said while putting down the bag on the central island of the kitchen. The buzzing sound of the coffee machine filled the air just when you replied to him:

“Oh yeah, I actually wanted to try this one. Thanks.”

And now your nipples were pointing under the shirt.

Great.

This definitely didn’t help the situation down his pants and he wisely chose to advert his gaze...only to fall on the dreaded picture he hoped you would never hear about. A rush of color filled up his cheeks and he was practically sure he wasn’t half-hard or hard at all anymore. What was this thing doing here?

You turned around to put his mug of coffee down the counter and that’s when you noticed where his eyes were. Not on you, unfortunately, but on the calendar.

Shit!

You didn’t even bother to put it on the right month. Hopefully Miguel would take it as it is, a compliment. But the moment you saw his brows furrow and his jaw tighten, you had a serious doubt.

“Hum...Miguel?”

He didn’t respond at first and when he looked back in your direction, he still seemed very ashamed, almost mortified. A pink hue was covering his cheeks and the back of his ears. Seems like you were going to have a lot of fun...

“Yes?”

You let the silence last a bit more before replying: “Is there a problem?”

“No. No...why would there be any problem?”

“Because you’re all red in the face suddenly. I was wondering if something was making you feel uncomfortable…”, you asked innocently. At this point of your relationship, he should know better. He should know what this coy tone meant but he still fell in the trap: “It’s just… Where did you even get this calendar?”

“Does it bother you?”

“No...it’s just...a bit tacky. I didn’t think you would like something like this…”, he replied in a sheepish voice. If you knew any better than this, that man was flustered.

“It’s practical.”, you simply reply with a shrug of your shoulders, dismissing the embarrassment in his voice. Miguel awkwardly chuckled: “Then why is it stuck on April?”

“Touché.”, you replied with a sly grin. You then took a sip of your coffee and his eyes wouldn’t leave the shape of your lips molding against the edge of the cup or the way your eyes still looked at him under your lashes, as if you were a cat playing with a mouse. All this little game was making him feel hot under the collar and he nervously ran his hand through his hair.

“Maybe...I just like the picture.”, his eyes were trying to avoid your gaze but they would eventually flutter back to the alluring shape of your silhouette. “Maybe...this is just making me feel curious.”

He didn’t need to ask about what it made you feel curious. Your tone was already giving him enough hints and he could only sheepishly chuckle, almost giggling while the red in his cheeks intensified. “You can’t be serious…”

“What if I am?”

Your blunt answer took him by surprise and you took this short moment to move a bit closer to him but still keeping your hands to yourself, even if the urge to rest them against his body was becoming stronger by the minute.

You had just been thinking about this these last weeks. Ever since you brought that calendar back home, all you could think about was the moment you would get to lay on top of him, run your hands down his abdomen, unto some more exciting territory, crossing every single line. The image of his body would haunt you during your alone time, making you wish it was his hands bending you, making you scream and turning you into some drained but satisfied mush.

His breath faltered when your fingers hovered above the soft cotton of his sweater. The fabric clung to his body, drawing out the shape and relief of his build silhouette, all in sharp angles and dips like some statue.

“Maybe I want to see a bit more..."

Your fingers trailed down his torso, from his chest to his abdomen and you could feel the way his heartbeat quickened as well as the way his body tensed and arched into your touch, yielding against your fingers. The hard contour of his silhouette was being traced, made more noticeable for your eyes and your eyes only. Your hungry gaze made him feel wanted in a way he didn’t know was possible; a special talent of yours. Standing there, still covered in sweat and fresh out of his training, he couldn’t believe you still wanted him. And yet…

“You want to see more?”, he asked under his breath and with a quick nod from you, he took your hands guided them over his body.

Your fingers soon slipped under the fabric of his tank top and you rose on your tip toes in an attempt to kiss him. Given the height difference between you, he quickly opted for the easiest solution. His arms scooped you up and placed your body on top of the counter, shortening the distance between you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you didn’t waste a single second to pull him closer to you but you still managed to surprise him. He was not expecting for your lips to aim for his shoulder rather than his mouth and with a low groan, he welcomed the caress of your lips onto his skin as you traced your way up his neck.

The pressure of his fingers grew tighter on your sides as this make-out session turned steamier. Your nipping on his neck made him react almost immediately. His fingers slid down lower on your body and soon gave your ass a firm squeeze. He needed to get you out of these shorts and quickly. Your soft whimper onto his neck told him he was doing everything right and his hands kept kneading your soft rear while your own diligent hands removed his top, leaving your eyes free to feast on the sight of his after-work body. Every word you uttered seemed to get straight to his cock as he felt it practically twitch every time you would breathe a bit harder on his skin or tell him how nice he felt, how gorgeous he was.

“Lay down...just...get on your back…”, his breath was a bit more labored as he helped you lying down the counter. You were pinned under him when his hands finally lifted up your top, exposing your perky breasts. He had spent so much time fantasizing about them, this morning only they had been on his mind almost all-workout. Last night during your date, he couldn’t get his eyes out of them as soon as you would look away and they had been tempting too much since he entered your apartment. The perky mounds stuck out, resting on your chest like a crown, the tanned lines from your bikini making them stand out even more proudly. After a few seconds spent admiring them, he dipped his head onto the soft cleavage presented to him, not doing anything else than resting his face there at first.

Your hands stroked his hair, pulling him closer into your embrace and you began grinding your hips onto his aching cock. The shape of his erection was visible under the grey fabric as it strained against it, begging for release. He would wait. He always waited. There was no need to rush with someone like you. Even when he was alone, he would always take his time fantasizing about the endless possibilities of your body rather than bringing himself to climax quickly. There was no such thing as a quickie with him and today was no exception. He will focus on every single part of your body, take his time to taste it, to enjoy it to the fullest...no matter if it made his dick throb and swell with more and more arousal. No matter if he would end up practically whimpering while getting his face stuck in your pussy later.

Miguel nuzzled his face further onto your breasts. His face was smothered between your breasts, his lips occasionally licking and sucking on their plump flesh. Low growls would escape his lips every time his lips circled around one of your perky nipples, sucking in deeply, swirling his tongue around the rigid nub and the puffy areola. His hands were holding your waist where the hem of your pants slopped down, exposing your waist.

“Eres tan deliciosa...can’t wait to get more of you...”

His nose trails down the line of your abdomen, running over smooth skin while his thumbs rub in circle the skin over your sides. He tugged at the hem of your shorts with his teeth, silently pleading to get more of you.

“May I?” You groaned a small “yes” and he finally pulled down your shorts. When he nuzzled his nose onto your panties, pressing it right where your slit would be, your hips bucked. He giggled at your eager response.

“Sorry about that.”, you quickly apologized but he dismissed the said apology with a caress of his hand on your thigh, soothing your worry.

“There’s no need to worry.” He then pressed a soft kiss under your belly button and hummed, his breath warm on your skin: “You’re such a needy little thing sometimes.”

“I’m not needy.”, you replied with a growing blush.

“Mhh...who’s been keeping a calendar of half-naked men in her kitchen again?” His brow cocked in a teasing manner as he trailed a line of warm kisses all the day down to your entrance. Your breath hitched and you arched your back in response to his teasing:

“Are you going to remind me of this for a long time?”

“Yes.”

His hooked finger pushed your panties aside and he basked in the musky scent of your arousal, watching how your pubes glistened with arousal.

“Someone feeling jealous over there?”, you teased him which only earned you a chuckle.

“I have no reason to be jealous…”, his hands slipped under your butt and he lifted up a bit your body until your legs were wrapped around his neck, “...and I’m going to show you why.”

His lips dived into your parted legs, his mouth molding to the shape of your vulva as he suckled in deeply. Your essence spurted into his mouth, making you writhe slightly. His nose rubbed onto your clit while he swirled his tongue deeper between your slick folds. His cock was aching down his sweatpants, burning to be free and soon replacing his tongue.

As he kept lapping and sucking on your cunt, he slowly edged you until you couldn’t hold it anymore. The sound of you moaning and cooing his name was the sweetest reward he could get for his hard work; until you came undone. He could feel how close he was too to just climax, here and there on the spot. The sight of you, spread on the counter with your clothes ruffled and your puffy clit, throbbing and begging for more.

“Feeling good, mama?”, he softly asked while placing a soft peck on your thigh.

“Bedroom now.” Your enthusiasm made him giggle again and he kept placing soft pecks all over your face and shoulders while carrying you to the bedroom. Your eager hands slipped under the hem of his sweatpants and tried to grab a hold of his butt. As much as you liked this calendar, it was a shame it didn’t pay proper homage to the glorious work of art this man’s buttocks were.

Miguel finally let you go down the bed and slipped out of his sweatpants. He was rummaging through the nightstand, looking for the pack of condoms you always kept there.

You watched in awe as he tore open a condom and swiftly lowered his boxers. His cock sprung free, the tip almost slapping his lower belly as some precum already dripped from the swollen tip. His fingers quickly put on the condom and when he caught your gaze on him, he stopped, a sheepish smile on his lips: “Everything alright?”

���That was just the sexiest thing I’ve ever see you doing.” A sympathetic look took over his features as he crawled on top of you, peppering your face with soft kisses. It was probably the first time you’ve had a boyfriend who didn’t reluctantly put on a condom and who accepted that you just couldn’t put an IUD or take the pill. This was as refreshing as it was sexy and the delicate attention always made you feel grateful, no matter how much Miguel would tell you that it was nothing.

“How do you want to do this?”, he asked with his lips still pressed on your temple.

“I want to see you.” Your response seemed to please him a lot because he quickly obliged and soon you found yourself attached to one another, with his arms pinning you onto the bed while he kept moving back and forth between your warm walls. Every move he made was followed by a deep, throaty grunt on his side.

“Feeling good, sweetheart?”

You could only moan back at his question, wrapping yourself tightly around him as he was thrusting deeper into you. The heat between your two bodies was becoming unbearable as time went on and it only became stronger when he slipped his hand down your stomach and began toying with your clit.

“Gonna cum for me, okay sweetie? I want to make you feel so good…” The slight desperation in his tone didn’t go unnoticed on your side. He wanted nothing more but for you to remember this moment every time you would look at his picture. He wanted you to be as whipped for him as he was for you, completely and utterly transfixed.

“Miguel…” He knew what it meant when you cried out his name like that. It meant you were close and he made his mission to guide you through it with his fingers rubbing circles faster on your already sensitive and swollen clit.

“That’s it baby...just like that…”

Your body tensed and your grip on him tightened as he felt you reaching your climax. His praise didn’t stop soon and he kept placing soft pecks all over your face, especially around your furrowed brows, one thing he found adorable in these moments.

It took the two of your some time to calm down after this moment. Miguel had brought you back a towel from the bathroom to clean yourself and two glasses of water. It was a bit hot since it was the middle of the summer and he knew too well the risks of dehydration. However this didn’t stop him from cuddling with you, his arms tightly wrapped around your body, one hand tracing the curve of your hips, following the slope of it like a traveler climbing up a mountain. His eyes marveled at your body in silence, looking at the way the sweat had coated your skin. When he kissed the sensitive spot of skin behind your ear and playfully nuzzled his face into it, you squirmed a bit. But it was not enough to escape his grip and you just managed to rub yourself even more against him:

“Miguel...it’s already too hot. And I’m gross like that.”

Your words could have as well be heard by a deaf because he didn’t stop his kissing. In fact he even nuzzles his face lower on your body, his nose following the curve of your clavicle while he mumbled:

“You’re not gross. You’re perfect like that…”

You were glad he didn’t catch the blush that was blooming on your cheeks: “It’s still too hot for that…” But your protest wasn’t very convincing and none of you moved a single inch. It would soon be too hot to go out or even do anything at this point and your body succumbed to the promise of a lazy, indolent afternoon, resting in the arms of your lover.

================================================

Notes: Thanks for reading this story! I hope you liked it. it's been a while since I've written smutty one-shot so I needed some time to get back on track. Hope it doesn't feel too awkward.

🌻🌻🌻

My masterlist

[ashmouthbooks]

Empty Graves by @unpretty and Empty Spaces (waves and particles) by kathkin

I participated in @renegadepublishing’s tiny book bang last year, and as participant I got access to all the typesets from the event. I saved the ones I thought I’d want to do, and yesterday I looked through that folder, spotted two fics with the word ‘empty’ in the title and thought “oh neat, i know and like these fics, and I can make matching-but-not-same binds for them”. I was delighted to re-discover that they were typeset by the same person, @little-cat-press, so I went ahead with the matchy idea.

Empty Graves is a Superman fic from the POV of Martha Kent, and just so happens to be one of my faves in unpretty’s sprawling series. I chose the marbled cover paper because it evokes stars and galaxies and space for me. The fic is very contained, localised - the Kent farm - but high stakes; Martha will protect her son from the universe if she has to (and she does), because her family is her universe. I liked the idea of wrapping this small-but-big fic in something that resembles the vastness of space. The spine is green to match the hints of green colour on the otherwise dark marble.

Empty Spaces is a Back to the Future fic from Doc Brown’s POV, and featuring transmasc Marty McFly. The Back to the Future movies are foundational to me, and this fic is simply wonderful, highlighting the unique friendship between Marty and Doc. For this I knew I wanted something that evokes time travel, and wound up with this section of a larger marbled pattern that resembles the sci-fi woosh of time (and space) travel. This spine is blue to match the hint of blue visible alongside the green.

Both marbled papers are from Jemma Lewis Marbling & Design. The insides are printed on 90gsm Munken Pure Smooth Cream. These are self-ended, so no endpapers. The bookcloth is sourced from Ratchford but I don’t know which brand it is.

These are A8 sized (printed on A4) - I believe the typesets are intended for letter sized paper, but as I’m not in the US A-series it is. This prints fine on A4. The margins to the sides are slightly wider than originally intended, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue here.

[ineffable-suffering]

Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does. 

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao). 

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past,  and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden. 

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’. 

And he already gave him the coffee. 

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

[szynkaaa]

So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy

Bind made for a Fall Out Boy trade with beardeddogbindery

Christy and I chatted about FOB and doing an album exchange while I was attending a FOB concert - I know there are a lot of Swifties out there, so it's nice to also bump into another FOB and be able to do a small trade together ((if there are more Fall Out Boy fans out there, don't be shy let us know))

Christy told me that she hasn't really listened to much of the newer Fall Out Boy stuff - I knew that lot of the older fans didn't like any of FOB's post-hiatus works. SMFS was described by FOB as "[the album] sounds closer to a continuation of their 2008 record Folie à Deux", which I thought might be a good "re-introduction" into FOB's newer music. I also really really really really like this album myself lmfao.

✦ illustrations are done on Procreate, everything was typesetted on Clip Studio Paint 0/10 I do not recommend typesetting on CSP lmfao ✦ Printed on A4 folio and then cut down to 148x148 mm because I wanted the lyrics book to be square and resemble an album ✦ original album cover features a painted dog. Christy has two VERY ADORABLE puppers. The only logical approach here is to draw one of her dogs and slap it onto the cover ✦ Dog illustration + endpapers + title page + some other pages are foiled using black foil! It was my first time working with black foil. It's very subtle ✦ Backside text is done on holographic reflective HTV, to add a bit of surprise effect and make it glow like a star

Please go check out @beardedogbindery's page for her two adorable quarto binds (I got two binds. two!!!)

So Much (For) Stardust typeset will be available at request for personal binding too! .