#ty anna for not killing me on the spot

[prentissluvr]

hii hiiiii marí ^_^ !!! i hope you have an awesome time at the concert that sounds so exciting gosh ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ have fun!! hugs nd kisses >3>

also !! what are some of your favorite spn episodes or scenes ?? ^.^ i feel like s2ep11 playthings was the first episode to really hit for me and make me feel insane lol ^_^

HI LAURENNNNN ty for this askkk !!! spoilers through season 7, im not sure where you are so i stopped there and it was getting long lolol @deadgirlsam

sooo i LOVE w*ndigo (1x2) because i think it’s one if sam’s best looks LOL

no exit (2x6) because JOOOO !!

2x10 where dean tells sam that john told him he might have to kill sam! lol! and then he goes off and finds ava!!

i also LOVED playthings SOOOO SO SO MUCH !!!! i definitely remember that one hitting especially hard!!

born under a bad sign because meg!sam GRRRR

heart 2x17 because it’s so awful that he had to kill madison LOL

and the finales for season two were so so good!

i liked the kids are alright from season 3 and i think about how traumatic mystery spot must have been for sam like literally ever day!

uhmmm literally all of season 4!!! too many good moments, ruby, demon blood sam i just love it sm <3 i know what you did last summer bc anna!!! all of anna!! the finale is crazy for that season too

5x6 i believe the children are our future bc i think about it a lot i think they should’ve brought jesse’s character back bc the idea of the antichrist is fascinating

abandon all hope (5x10) was the WORST bc they killed off two of my favs ellen and jo and i think about it ever day!!!

from season six i loved sassy soulless sam LOL

7x14 sam covered in sparkles from exploded clowns and he looks so cute and he laughs!

i really liked 7x17 i think it was where sam was in the mental hospital and he helps the girl marin <3

AND THEN THE GIRL WITH THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS TATTOO BC CHARLIEEEEEE i think its her best episode so far which is sad bc its her first one LOL

[thewinedarksea]

dnd characters: ori’s gods

a god of a sunken isle. a goddess of a lost realm. a god brought by a boy and forgotten by him, who still burns hot around the wick of his name. a vein without a body alone alone alone and a swarm of fireflies and a finger itching for a scale to tip and a spider waiting in her web of silver. they are all of them hungry. they are all of them yearning to go back out into that wide, wonderful, wicked world and find new followers. 

ori takes them. 

ori bears them. 

[starrlikesbooks]

Let’s talk about upcoming books!

It’s hard to believe the year is nearly over, but it’s equally hard to believe that it’s somehow still 2020  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Either way, the new year means at least one good thing- cool new books!

Click the read more for a little on each and why I’m excited! And have a great new year! 💓🎉

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey is Gailey’s third full-length novel, and their second Adult novel. It’s an SFF story about a woman whose husband is cheating on her… with a clone of herself… which he made by stealing her research. The layers of betrayal! Obviously her and the clone have to kill him, what other choice do they have? I’m super excited for another one of Gailey’s fun, complex characters and the concept alone sounds so, so cool.

The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney I’ve already had the pleasure over reading and I am PUMPED to get other people to read it! This is a magical realism story about grief and baggage mixed with a southern (western?) gothic vibe with the town in the desert full of otherwordly “neighbors”. This is a beautiful story of PTSD and healing and as well as a lushly magic one.

The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore is another one I’ve already been lucky enough to get an advanced copy of. This is a magical realism story about the trauma of two characters’ unfortunately closely connected sexual assault. This one is heavy, and if you’re sensitive to stories involving rape and/or blackmail you may want to avoid it, but it’s well written and honestly an excellent story of healing and reflection.

Lycanthropy & Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal I…. have also already read! Sorry- I am just a very lucky reader of books! This is a really modern online friendship based story of a girl and her community of people with chronic illnesses, like the one that forced her to come back home from college. But it turns out her best friend’s chronic illness is a little… weird. I love the humor in this book, I love the characters, I love the representation of these illnesses and the online communities they form, and I honestly think that anyone who 1) like werewolves and 2) is still on tumblr will love this book.

Blade of Secrets by Tricia Levenseller combines three of my favorite things- bladesmiths, magical quests, and the author of The Shadows Between Us. A magical bladesmith takes a commission from someone far more dangerous than she knows, and winds up with an uber powerful sword able to steal secrets, on the run, and with some surprising friends. I can’t think of anything I don’t like from that, and I know I already love Levenseller’s characters, so!

Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater has… that title, but is also the sequel to Call Down the Hawk, Stiefvater’s Ronan Lynch centric TRC spin off. CDTH was incredible and ended with a massive cliff hanger, so I’m chompin at the bit for this book. More magical dreams! More disembodied voices! More murder and art theft and Declan Lynch failing at pretending not to be weird af!

May the Best Man Win by ZR Ellor has the potential to make me cry right from the get go. This is a MLM trans lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story and my God I’m vibrating. Basically it’s a battle for prom king between exes who had a messy break up because one of them ended their relationship in order to come out & transition. The cover is so cute and I’m ready for this to be fluffy and fun.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is McQuistion’s sophomore novel after Red, White & Royal Blue, so… obviously? This one is sapphic and involves falling for someone who is literally in the past. I trust McQuiston so much I’d need this book immediately even if the concept didn’t sound amazing, but I’m feeling blessed that it does!

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas is about being best friends with (and crushing on) a ghost while also coming out to yourself as trans. As an enby who likes ghost books- may I just say trans rights? This book also involved parental abuse, so beware if you find that distressing or triggering!

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury not only has a stunning cover and a main character who looks like she means serious business, but it’s a dark urabn fantasy about witches. The main character fails her ritual to come into her magic, she’s forced to kill her true love or strip her whole blood line. Ah, I love difficult choices, gray morality, and magic, so I’m already in love with this.

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson I’m astounded and super excited to know is going to exist at all. I loved the Truly, Devious trilogy, and while this isn’t exactly a part of that it is the same main character and it is still a mystery about an unsolved murder! Plus, I love summer camps, so a summer camp murder mystery makes me happy.

Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta is a sappic enemies-to-lovers about two girls on opposite sides of a war fought by giant Windups. This is a cyberpunk book of spies and pilots and gay love, and it’s also the first in a series!

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell is the third and (most likely) final book of the Simon Snow series and it’s gonna be GOOD. My only wish is for it to be about 500 pages longer because I want a full out door stopper of tying up loose ends.

The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters is the second book by the Ghost Wood Song author- which was on my most anticipated list for 2020 last year! That one was creepy and folky and queer, and this one looks to be the same. This one has a sister disappear and some strong magic to find out what happened to her, and if their mother was the one who did it.

Mark of the Wicked by Georgia Bowers is a dark fantasy about a girl who comes into her powers but has some different ideas about how she should be using them. I love morally gray or just plain dark main characters, so I’m ready to jump right on this one. This one also involves memory loss/blacking out and being framed, which always adds a cool mysterious layer!

Among Thieves by M.J. Kuhn involves queer, selfish thieves forced to band together. I have a soft spot for characters who are really flawed and don’t want to work together (especially if it leads into found family!) and this also has a slow burn sapphic relationship and a lot of possible betrayal in it, so I’ll probably go crazy from reading it.

Beyond the Ruby Veil #2 by Mara Fitzgerald doesn’t have a title yet but it does have a great plot to work off of. I loved the first book- which was creepy, had a completely awful, villainous main character, and full (I mean full) of murder- and it ended in a way that point to the sequel being just as good if not better. The first one had the quality of just watching the world burn, and I have a feeling this one’s going to be the same thing with maybe more flames. If you plan on picking up either of them, consider checking out the CWs, though!

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen got added to this immediately because Owen definitely gained my love and trust via The Merciful Crow duology, and I’m certain it’s going to be incredible solely because she’s a wonderful writer and her characters are a lot of fun- and speaking of characters, she’s already shared some drawings and info on them and they’re GREAT I cannot wait to meet them. This is a retelling of The Goose Girl story, from the maid’s POV!

Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan was originally on my 2020 most anticipated but then 2020 happened so… yeah. But it is actually coming out in 2021, as long as the world doesn’t end again (fingers crossed). Inspired by East Asian mythology, this one is about a dangerous cult, a peasant cursed to steal souls, and an exiled prince!

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta is going to be one of those cute, fluffy, feel good reads, which I think we probably all need about now. I love Capetta’s work and their very queer characters, and I love the idea of a magical baker both breaking up and then getting couples back together. Also, the MC is agender- we love to see it.

The Second Coming by André-Naquian Wheeler follows a teen with a traumatic past falling for a boy who might be the second coming of Jesus Christ. Honestly, I’m a little nervous about this one- but also I almost wrote my own queer second coming story, so who am I to talk? I don’t know much more about this book, but I’m excited to see what it turns out like!

[imagineofallkindsxxx]

Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 7/?

A Hundred Dead Witches!?!

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

Tonight was the night of Illuminations, a town tradition that has been going on for centuries so a group of us had volunteered to help or in my case forced to. While hanging lanterns from the trees Carol Lockwood decided to make a speech to the volunteers deciding to thank the people actually doing the work instead of sitting around making speeches along with introducing Tobias Fell. 

"Remind me why we're here again?" I whispered to Mark but before he could answer Sam butted in. 

"It's my uncle Tobys night, my mom's forcing me to volunteer and I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own." Making me roll my eyes at the bassist. 

  "Yo, what'd I miss" James said coming behind us making me jump out of my skin giving him a push. 

  "Nothing the speech is about to begin." Sam informed him. 

  "The first illumination..." He started, going on about history of the town and the founders. 

"I'm gonna dip. Finish my lantern" I whispered to James making him look at me incredulously. I just looked at him and blew a kiss at the drummer before a quietly and as slyly as possible trying to escape the wrath of Sam Fell who although may look skinny and weak can destroy you. 

When it looked like I was in the clear for now I walked up to Caroline and Bonnie who were tying lanterns to a branch.

"-comment on that." 

"Comment on what?" 

"There. You Commented" 

"I'm confused, what are you commenting?" Asking the duo confused at what is going on and what is being commented. 

"What do you want me to say Caroline?" She asked clearly distressed before finally addressing me "I went against the balance of nature when I brought Jeremy back to life and now, I'm paying the consequences. Whenever he wants to see Anna and she wants to see him, she's still here". Jesus this is fucked up. 

"Bon..." I started looking at her sympathetically before Caroline butts in 

"I want you to tell me you're not okay with it." 

"I'm a thousand times not okay with it. I just don't know what to do about it" she said looking deflated at the entire situation making me throw my arm around her shoulders in comfort. 

"You, Bonnie Bennett are the most powerful, smartest and amazing witch. You'll figure out, trust me. You're Bonnie Bennett for Christ sake!" She smiled at me giving a small laugh before a blue Camaro comes out of nowhere pulling up with a raven haired vampire driving. 

"Greetings, blondie, witchy, brainy. I think you got your voodoo wires all crossed when you got rid of Vicki Donovan." She tells us with an annoyed expression on his face. 

"Vicki Donovan?" I questioned confused to how a dead vampire was being brought into this conversation, 

"What do you mean, why?" Bonnie questioned the annoyed/annoying vampire in front of her. 

"Because I'm pretty sure I just got spit-roasted by Mason Lockwood's ghost." He explained. What the hell did Damon do to that poor and attractive werewolf? 

"What?" Bonnie asked very confused. 

"And why exactly do you think that?" I asked wondering how Mason Lockwood was the first person he thought of.

"Maybe because he chained me to a chair and shoved a hot poker into my chest. let's say I'm having deja vu." With this being told me and Caroline both look at Bonnie who looks very confused and conflicted. 

"I thought you said ghosts couldn't interact with people." Caroline said talking straight to Bonnie thinking how it can't be possible that Bonnie may have been wrong. 

"They can't" 

"Yeah well, I don't have time for a vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead. Whatever you screwed up fix it." He ranted towards the witch after that he drove away extremely quickly and most likely above the speed limit. 

Across the road was Matt watching the interaction of the four of us. I was the first to cross the street to talk to the quarterback with Caroline and Bonnie following closely behind. I asked him quickly if he had seen Vicki.

"I haven't seen Vicki, I swear" He told us all before looking down upset about having to go through the loss of his sister a second time "I sent her back like you told me to do."

"Are you sure?" Bonnie asked making sure that Matt actually did get rid of Vicki "Because she has just as much reason to haunt Damon as Mason Lockwood does."

"90% of the people who have been killed in the past two years has as much reason to haunt Damon as much as Mason Lockwood." I added making Caroline nod in agreement.

"She's gone Bonnie. If she was here, I'd know it" I gave him a small sympathetic smile it clear that he was severely upset about this whole ordeal.

"Why do you think its Vicki and not Mason?" Caroline asked the witch.

"Because if any ghost other than Vicki Donovan has a physical foothold on our side, that means Damon's right." Words I never thought I'd hear "and something has gone really, really wrong." Bonnie states looking extremely worried about this situation and what would happen if all the ghosts from our past come to literally haunt us.

"I've had enough of this ghost stuff to last forever. So can you guys can leave me out of this one" Matt tells the three of us, I nodded understanding that if that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed forget going to work. He walks away from us, and you can hear Caroline talking.

"I feel so sad for him. It took a lot for him to send his sister away."

"Yeah" Bonnie replied shortly.

"I highly doubt I could do that, if I got to saw my mom or dad again... I don't know if I would be able to let them go." I stated feeling so much sympathy for the blue-eyed boy. "It took a lot of guts anyway." This made the other girls nod.

"So much strength in a man." Caroline continued looking at both of us.

"Caroline it's never going to happen, get over it." Rolling my eyes at her Insinuating that Matt would be a perfectly good boyfriend as she's done for the part two months.

"I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy lecture for later" She snapped while grabbing her bag all of her stuff falling out when the strap broke. I bent down and helped her pick up her things and just as she was going to put her grimoire up it opens itself to a page in the center of the book.

"Did that just..." I asked the witch and vampire not believing my eyes.

"I think so." Bonnie said cocking her head to the side while picking up the book reading the page that the book opened itself to.

"Okay please tell me that's a recipe for witch cookies" Caroline half joked half serious about the page Bonnie was currently reading.

"It's a manifestation spell. It's used to reveal veiled matter." Bonnie told us the meaning of the grimoires spell.

"What's veiled matter?" Caroline asked and before Bonnie answered I said in shock.

"Ghosts." looking at them all.

"What do we do? Do we do the spell? What is the spell exactly?" I questioned Bonnie repeatedly wanting the ghosts to be a thing in the past and look into the future.

"I think we need to go somewhere more private."

***

Caroline pulled her car up to an abandoned creepy looking house. the three of us enter the front room me and Caroline a little bit more apprehensively than Bonnie.

"So, this is where you brought Jeremy back to life?" I asked Bonnie looking around the room severely creeped out, the interior being as bad as the exterior.

"Yeah. Sorry, I know it's creepy, but we needed a private place to do the spell." Bonnie apologized getting ready to do the spell.

"Hmmm. There's no chance it's haunted by the hundred dead witches who were horrifically burned to death in this very spot, is there?" Caroline question clearly scared, and that question alone made me just as scared.

"A hundred dead witches?!"

"They're not here anymore. And they made it clear they were never coming back." she reassured us both trying to calm our nerves or well attempted to.

"Right. You pinkie swear?" Caroline asks trying to make a joke in the tense environment. Making me give her a look. I got the candles out and gave Caroline a lighter so she can help light the candles with me for Bonnie to start the spell.

"Ready do you need us to do..." I started turning around to see Bonnie already starting to start the spell "Right. Okay" I looked at Caroline while Bonnie was continuing to do the spell getting louder every chant a breeze beginning to surround us getting stronger and stronger by the second making everything in the room moves. Seeing all of this makes my eyes widen and start to worry about Bonnie and how safe this is for her.

"Bonnie, I don't like this. Bonnie..." Caroline voices my thoughts while also looking around that was until we saw something shocking.

"Oh my God, is that your...?" I started but couldn't finish due to the pure shock of what I as seeing. All three of us shocked Bonnie can't say anything, it even leaves Caroline speechless. The silence was broke with Bonnie saying quietly.

"Grams."

*************************************************

A/N:

Small chapter but next is quite long an different than others as a special character will be appearing. Hope you enjoyed, Part two will include more of the boys (a slight twist).

Please correct any grammar, spelling or British slang.

Any positive or negative feedback is appreciated.

Thanks for reading lovelies xxx 

[kyloxmoegi1993]

His world changed the day she showed him the ultrasound picture. That picture showing him his entire life was about to change, and all for the sake of his unborn little peanut growing inside of the woman he loved.

Although he would continue to kill for the Entity, he made a deal with the unknown apparition that he could move himself and Lilyth somewhere better suited for a family. He made the choice to move them back to Woodsboro. While he had lived here back in the day he managed to keep low enough of a profile that no one even looked at him being the mastermind behind all of the killings. He had put Stu, Billy, even that Prescott girl's brother all to the tasks while he sat on the sidelines. It didn't take long for him and his Lily to get settled in and he absolutely adored watching her belly grow as their child got bigger.

Danny had just gotten home and wasn't even halfway through the door when she met him in the doorway smiling softly at him.

"Welcome home."

Dropping to his knees he gently cupped her belly and closed his eyes under the mask as he pressed his ear to her belly and not only heard but felt the baby move.

"Daddy's home princess..."

Lilyth watched him press gentle kisses to get swollen belly and love blossomed in her chest. She met his gaze when he stood up and looked into her eyes.

"And how's mommy doing? Still feeling sick?"

She shrugged and looked at him sympathetically. He hated how sickly she had gotten since getting pregnant. She used to love listening to him talk about how he'd gut survivors and other victims but once her morning sickness hit, all that talk had to stop or she'd be off to the bathroom. She also couldn't stomach the smell of pepperoni or chicken cooking anymore.

"Wraith actually felt really bad...he's actually punishing himself....I tried telling him it was okay but I don't think he's hearing me..."

Confused, Danny looked around then saw a silhouette and shook his head and walked over to the cloaked wraith. All of the killers all came and took turns with their days off to stay with her so she wasn't alone. Today had been wraith's turn.

"Hey buddy. So uh, I see you tried to cook some chicken for Lily. You didn't do anything wrong. She's just more sensitive to smells right now. You can uh uncloak. I'm not mad."

The dinging of his bell could be heard and suddenly the wraith appeared and he looked sad and bowed to both him and then he walked over to Lilyth and bowed in apology. He watched his Lily reach out and gently take the wraith's hands before patting them gently.

"You didn't know. It's okay. I promise. Why don't you go on home and I'll see you tomorrow with Anna okay?"

Wraith nodded and bowed again and saw himself out. Danny locked the door and then watched as she slowly got up off the couch cupping her belly.

"You good?"

She nodded and went upstairs slowly and he cleaned up while she was gone and when he was finished he waited then realized she wasn't coming back down.

"Lily?"

When he received no answer panic surged through him and he raced upstairs and found her laying on the bed in a sexy pose and wearing some black lingerie that cupped her full breasts and excentuated the color of her skin. He then took notice of the rope, his mask, a blindfold, and his knife and raised an eyebrow.

"You want to play?"

She nodded shyly looking up at him submissively and he felt his chest swell with a mix of love and pride. This woman was absolutely made for him in every way and he was proud to have her carrying his child.

"Please daddy...." She mewled quietly holding out her wrists together.

Easily slipping into his other persona he looked at her with heated eyes as he slowly began tying her wrists and tied her arms above her head on the headboard.

She looked at him with lust in her eyes and he slowly took his shirt off showing off his 6 pack and the many scars he had acquired over the years. Her tounge flicked out over her lips as she drank in the sight of him and watched him don the mask.

"I think you've seen enough princess."

With that, he tied the blindfold around her eyes and leaned down biting at her bottom lip that she had protruding. "No pouting."

He grabbed the knife and looked at her spread out on their bed, at his complete mercy and had flashbacks to when he had first met her and how she looked like this before, but back then he had intended on gutting her and putting her on display. He was glad he didn't. Glad he saw something in those eyes of hers that made him spare her from his ruthlessness.

Ridding himself of his trousers and boxers he took the knife and slowly ran the blade up her leg and into her inner thigh causing her to shiver and moans in pain and pleasure as she felt the tip of the blade bite into the meat of her thigh.

He watched, his eyes fixed on the droplet of blood that appeared and he leaned down and ran his tounge along the wound and slowly kisses up her thigh and found himself at her warmth. Seeing she was bare to him made him grow harder and he kissed her clit causing her to jump in surprise and cry out.

"Ahh! Daddy!~"

"Shhhh shhhh. Easy princess. It'll be over soon."

Rubbing her thighs to comfort her he ran his tounge along her heated core and began eating her out groaning at the taste of her essence. She had always tastes likes oranges and cloves to him and it drove him mad everytime. Without realizing he was doing it he became aware that he was dry humping the edge of the bed seeking friction and relief from his rock hard prick and he growled and adjusted her a bit before positioning himself at her entrance and slowly sinking into her. Groaning with relief at her tight heated fit, he threw his head back. Fuck it had been so long since he'd fucked her. Judging from the way she panted his name and began rolling her hips, Lily agreed. Wasting no time he gently but roughly thrusted into her and found a punishing rhythm, being sure not to hurt her and scared he'd hurt their child.

"Oh fuck daddy....yes...I love it..punish me with your cock. Oh my God. Mmmm fuck."

His gaze lifted to her face and he leaned down and kisses her, their tounges fighting for dominance as they both grunted and moaned. Feeling her tighten and the familiar swelling and coiled pressure building up in his balls he knew he was about to explode. Finding the will to pull himself out as she orgasmed he quickly cut the ropes binding her and strokes his cock.

"Open your mouth for daddy princess."

Without hesitation she opened her mouth after kneeling on the floor in front of him and waited. Grunting he felt pain and relief flood through him as he came and watched his cum land in her mouth and on her cheek.

"Fuck...."

Leaning his head back he panted under the mask and jumped a bit surprised when she leaned forward and started licking him clean causing another hard spurt of cum to enter her mouth. Swallowing it she finished and looked up in his direction. Removing his mask and her blindfold, he looked at her flush cheeks and tiredly panted.

"Fuck the things you do to me woman...."

Slowly helping her up he set about to cleaning himself and her up as well as they prepared for bed. Dressed in a loose pair of sleeping boxers he was laying in bed when he heard from their bathroom a loud splashing sound.

"Danny...!"

Hearing panic in her voice he shot out of bed immediately and ripped open the door seeing his wife standing in a puddle of water like substance.

He looked at her and she looked at him and he knew what this meant. For once in his life, his mind went blank. Her water broke. He knew that meant the baby was coming, but his mind froze on what to do.

"Danny. Danny. Danny!"

Coming back to her he saw panic in her eyes as she tried to keep calm herself. This is the moment she had been terrified of.

"Hospital. Now."

Nodding he swept her up into his arms glad she was now wearing one of his older shirts that she wore as a nightgown and quickly carried her downstairs and grabbed the backpack he had setup next to the door for this moment. Kicking it out the door he gently set her down and helped her into the car before running back for the bag and to lock the door.

The last thing he remembered was telling her to breathe before he went into autopilot mode.

*Several hours later*

Danny bounced his leg as he waited for somebody, anybody to tell him his wife and child are okay. They'd arrived 9 hours ago....he had refused to move from the spot he was in, but now he was growing worried. What if something happened to her or the baby and they're just trying to figure out how to tell him? What if something went wrong? Should he have done something sooner? He had noticed after they had sex she kept wincing in pain and holding her belly, but he didn't think anything of it. What if he hurt her? He was never having sex with her while she was pregnant again. If there is an again.

His thoughts going a mile a minute he jumped up ready to swing when he felt a gentle touch to his shoulder and saw the nurse looking at him slightly scared.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to startle you sir, your wife asked me to bring you back."

Why hasn't she said anything about the baby? He opened his mouth to ask when she led him to a room and opened the door revealing the woman he loved hiding a small bundle with her left breast exposed.

She looked up at him and he could tell the birth had been rough on her but she still smiled warmly at his approach.

"Come meet our daughter Danny..."

His heart stopped and skipped a beat when he came over to the side of her bed and saw a dark haired little angel nursing from lily's breast. He gently kissed the side of Lily's head never moving his eyes off the bundle. "She's....perfect...Gillian...please...? Name her Gillian....with a g...."

Lilyth smiled and ran her free fingers through his hair, "Gillian it is...Gillian Ann Johnson..."

Danny looked at her lovingly and quickly wiped a year from his eye as he regarded his new family.

*End.....?*

Just a oneshot I was writing for fun and one of my best friends begged me to finish it. This one's for you @hellkitten813 😁😁😁 Enjoy love.

I do not own Ghost Face or Dead by Daylight, or anything relating to the Scream Franchise. The only OC is my character Lilyth and their daughter Gillian(Jillian-how to pronounce) who Miss Kitten also named. Surprise kitty cat it's a girl!!! Lol I hope this is well received and enjoyed as fun as it was to write. Enjoy! ❤️

[usual-day-dreamer]

Ice Breakers (Hockey Player!Timothée C. x Figure Skating!Reader) Chapter Three

A/N: Sorry it took me so long! I had some rough weeks but here’s the nes chapter, I’ll keep updating as much as I can. Stay home and take care guys! Love you all. Don’t forget requests are open!

This is unedited, I am sorry but I am eager to post it! I’ll get to it later today, sorry in advance for mistakes

MASTERLIST

You’ve been mentally preparing for Amber’s arrival; weeks have been rough and tiring, but you’ve managed to keep up with your hard schedule (though you know that schedule was not that healthy). 

And to make matters worse, the hockey player that made your life miserable for months, has been texting you, you tried to block him but he still found ways to torment you, you´d receive text from him twice a day, some seemed calm but others were threatening. You were scared to get help, not ready to talk about that with anyone else. 

Damien, 

The name left a sour taste in your mouth every time, fear consuming your body when you thought about it.

The lack of sleep, the anxiety and stress were killing at this point, crying even in practice, but you still could not find strength to say something, afraid of finishing your Olympic career without even starting it.

“I don’t know why I can’t land my triple toe” you huffed in annoyance trying to get your breathing back to normal as you looked down at your skates.

“You seemed, stressed, maybe we should leave the session here today” You looked up with a frown, ready to protest, but the look in her eyes told you not to “I’m worried about you Y/N, let’s finish here today and maybe you can come later for some alone practice” 

You decided not to push it, so you agreed, skating away from her and out of the rink. Once your skates were off you sighed, your feet looked really fucked up, but you still smiled at the feeling, it brought you peace and reassurance that you were working just fine.

Your thoughts couldn’t stay empty for long, Tim was clouding your mind again as you thought about all the times you turned his proposals down, even though your therapist and Anna told you to just give it a shot. Fear still consumed you, though you wanted to try too.

Already dreading work, you walked inside the bus, sitting down in your usual spot by the window, taking the beauty of the snow outside and smiling a little. You’ve always loved the cold and everything that came with it, though your mom always disagreed with you.

The ride towards the lounge was over sooner than you wanted, and you walked out. Before entering you sighed and closed your eyes, the cold air filling your lungs. Stepping inside you opened your eyes in surprise, Justin was already there working. He smirked at your surprised expression. 

“What are you doing?” you asked, with a small smile he answered, “Working, you should be doing the same though”

You smiled in surprise and got to work. 

Surprisingly, it has been going smoothly, Justin’s attitude was better, and you had fun working with him, though sometimes the way he looked at you threw you off a little.

Justin and you were behind the bar, serving drinks as the rest worked with the tables, laughing at a joke he made, you playfully punched his shoulder.

“I’m glad to finally see you smile” he said

“What do you mean? I’m always smiling when I´m in the ice”

“You do, I just noticed that this week you didn’t” he answered “You seem weird”

You looked down, “I´m fine Justin, just tired” it wasn´t completely a lie, but he did not buy that, he looked at you with softened eyes, reaching out to grab your hand.

Someone cleared their throat and you looked away from Justin, your eyes met Timothée’s and you smiled at him ignoring Justin rolling his eyes.

“Hey Y/N” his eyes changed as he looked at Justin “Justin” the greeting was icy, and Justin just offered a fake smile at him.

“What can I do for you Timmy?” you asked

“I was just wondering if you had anything to do after work?” 

You were glad he didn`t gave up and smiled brightly at him. 

“I don’t” he smiled widely at the answer “I have a surprise for you, let’s meet when your shift is over”

“I’m actually done, I was just helping Justin” you looked behind you at Justin, he seemed grumpy, but you ignored it “Do you think you can manage”

“Sure” you smiled and turned back towards Timothèe.

“You have your skates and comfy clothes?” 

“Yep! I’ll go change” you turned around and dashed towards the staff room to change, unaware of the tension between the two boys.

As soon as you were out of sight, Justin looked at Timothèe, eyes full of anger, Timothèe smiled at him, the tension growing stronger. Justin walked closer to him, both arms pressed against the counter separating them, ready to say something but the sound of your voice interrupted him.

“Ready” Timothèe offered his arm and you took it, waving goodbye to Justin as you walked out and into the cold.

*

“What was the surprise?” you asked, the warmth from his hand on yours brought a feeling of happiness through you as your blush grew, thanking the cold for covering up your red cheeks as you smiled widely, excitement filling you completely.

“We are almost there” he suddenly stopped, and you did the same. He let go of your hand and you were missing its warmth already when he covered your eyes. Your smile grew wider and you let him guide you.

His hands left your eyes and you looked around in awe, a frozen pond was in front of you, lights adorning the trees around making it glow beautifully in the night. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sight.

“It’s beautiful” you breathed “How did you find it?”

He shrugged his shoulders “I have my ways, no go and tie up your skates”

You grabbed his hand again and found a wooden bench to sit down, grabbing your skates from you bag and tying them as fast as you could. Timothèe finished before you and he stood up, offering his hand again you took happily, walking towards the frozen pond.

Everything was amazing as you skated with him, you felt like flying as he grabbed your hand, spinning you. 

“I had no idea you knew some pair skating tricks” it was his turn to blush, and he stammered a little.

“I learnt them so I could try them with you” you blushed and smiled at him, letting him guide you around the ice.

You were breathless when you were finished, face to face with him underneath the moon. The cold made his cheeks redder, but his skin looked paler, his breath was hitting your face and you looked at his eyes which they briefly looked down at your lips. You gulped, but closed your eyes when he leaned in.

his lips were dry and cold but yours were too, his hands went to your waist and yours up his shoulders, one hand grabbing his cheek and the other playing with his hair. He sighed and pulled away. Your eyes were still closed, and your breathing was heavy, a small smile on your lips.

After months, everything felt right, you felt right. 

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 10 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

“I was a Boy Scout,” he mumbled, “I learned shit about tying knots, not…this.”

“You FaceTimed me just fine when I was in Romania.”

He glanced down at her as she kept giggling helplessly, then looked back at the phone, a faint flush rising on his cheeks. “…Sven helped me.”

chapter 10: twits

October dragged on, the only bright spot the easy afternoons and sweet mornings she spent with Kristoff on the few days a week he didn’t go to school by day and work at night. The studio that had been so excited to cast her in the Anastasia remake was dragging its heels, even when the trailer to the Netflix movie had dropped and immediately been a hit.

“This is normal,” her agent had reassured her. “They want you, kiddo, they just are waiting to make sure.”

“Sure of what, Sam?”

“Not gonna mince words with you, Anna. That you can carry a movie on your own. You’ve got the acting chops, but they need to know people will stay and look at you for two hours straight.”

“No pressure.”

“Honestly, there shouldn’t be. You already filmed it. Nothing to do now but wait.”

And wait she had for the last four weeks, trying not to think about it all too much during the still-agonizing days of sitting around waiting for Elsa to get off work or Kristoff to finish class or Sven to text her sure, come over, I’ll have the Wii ready and waiting.

Her one lucky break had come in the form of a night off for Kristoff the night before the movie was released. He still had classes in the morning, but at least if she had to spend the night lying awake with worry she wouldn’t do it alone.

“You need to sleep at least,” she told him as she brushed her nose against his as they huddled together under the blankets, both of them too torn between exhaustion and nervousness to do anything else. “You still have that lab in the morning.”

“I just don’t want you to be up all night stressing out alone.”

“It’s a good thing you live in LA, Kris. You’re so goddamn sweet the rain would melt you anywhere else.”

He snorted at that. “Can’t believe you call me the corny one.”

Anna giggled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you, though. But I’m serious, just, y’know, snuggling and shit will help enough.”

“I’m serious, too.”

As it turned out, neither of them needed to be; when she had turned over in his arms so he could spoon her, the slow rise and fall of his chest against her back and the gentle kisses he kept placing on the crown of her head were enough to lull her to sleep in minutes. 

She woke up to the beeping of his alarm; somehow in the night she had ended up with her head tucked back under the blankets and her legs tangled around Kristoff’s. She groaned and buried her face in his chest. “Godfuckingdammit it’s today.”

“Morning to you, too, my love,” he laughed, lifting the blanket to get a peek at her scowl.

“Nooo, put the blanket back. Leave me here to perish in my cave of darkness and solitude.”

“I would, I really would, except Sven would kill me for letting his favorite Mario Kart buddy waste away.”

She huffed against his bare skin, wrapping her arms around his waist. “He only likes me more because you don’t lose to make me feel better anymore.”

“So? It’s still true. And anyway, I’m sure people loved the movie. It came out at midnight New York time, right? So maybe there’s already some reviews.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Giving up on trying to coax her out from under the blanket, he dropped it again and instead reached under to begin teasing the tangles out of her hair with his fingers. “Want me to check them for you?”

“Honestly, I just need to know what Twitter says. That’s the important thing these days.”

“Want me to hand you your phone?”

“No! Oh, god, no, I don’t think I could stand to read all the shit people are probably saying. This is Tampongate 2.0, I’m telling you already.”

“Okay, so I’ll make my own Twitter and check for you.”

“But you don’t do social media.”

“Will it make you feel better if I read things for you and tell you what people say?”

“…yes,” she admitted, pressing a kiss to his ribcage and smiling when he squirmed; he was ticklish there, something she liked to take full advantage of.

“Okay, then I’ll do it.”

He rolled over then so he could fumble with the lamp and grab his phone. She moved to lay her cheek against his chest, trying not to wince when she felt him raise his arm to look at the little screen. With his other hand he was still stroking her hair, and between that and the fact that he was always so warm, she had nearly fallen asleep again when she heard him huff out a frustrated sigh.

“Damn it,” he swore under his breath, and at last she crawled out of her blanket cocoon just enough to peek up at him.

He’d put his glasses on but had brought the screen up nearly to the tip of his nose as he tried to puzzle it out. “Why do I have to give it my contact list? I just want to see your stuff.”

Anna couldn’t help but laugh as she sat up. “Okay, Grandpa, just hand it to me, and I’ll do it.”

“No, I need to fight this battle myself,” he muttered, deadly serious as he tapped to the next screen. “Goddammit! Why do I have to put a picture?”

Now she was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes. “You don’t have to. Just hit skip again. Kristoff, how have you survived this long?”

“I was a Boy Scout,” he mumbled, “I learned shit about tying knots, not…this.”

“You FaceTimed me just fine when I was in Romania.”

He glanced down at her as she kept giggling helplessly, then looked back at the phone, a faint flush rising on his cheeks. “…Sven helped me.”

“Oh my god. Oh, Kristoff, baby…” 

Another fit of laughter overtook her and only grew louder when he gave a grumpy little huff upon finally reaching his still-empty feed. “Goddammit, why is it blank? Anna, quit laughing and help me find you on here.”

“Just search for me. Surely you’ve seen search bars before, you have to have done something online in your life–”

“Ha ha. Okay, yes, I see it now.”

He started scrolling through the long list of Annas, his brows furrowed in concentration, and she burrowed back under the blankets, resting her face against his stomach and pressing absentminded kisses to it whenever she heard him make little noises of confusion. He was so focused on the phone that he didn’t even notice when her lips drifted lower, her kisses starting to linger longer as she reached his hipbone.

“Aha!” he shouted suddenly, just as her phone buzzed on the nightstand, and Anna jumped in surprise as he flung the blankets off of her head.

“Jesus, Kris, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” she teased, pressing one more kiss just below his navel, but his only response was a grin of satisfaction as he passed her her phone. 

“I did it,” he said proudly. “I twitted.”

“Tweeted.”

“I like twitted better.”

“You’re lucky I’m already madly in love with you,” she muttered, ignoring her phone in favor of returning her attention and her mouth to the little spot right above the waistband of his boxers that always made him squirm beneath her touch.

Next to her head, his fist clenched around the sheets. “Read what I said first,” he said, his voice strained but determined. “I didn’t go through all that for nothing.”

“Fine,” she said with a heavy sigh as she took her phone in hand and sat up, swinging one leg over him so she could straddle his lap as she read.

His hand was on her thigh now, stroking slowly up and down and making it hard to stay focused as she flicked the notification open and waited for the app to load. At last it did, and she clicked the notification with a smile.

One new mention:

@anna_a_actress I love you, baby! :) - @kristoff123456789

Suddenly her vision was a little blurry. “How are you so fucking adorable?” she asked, dropping her phone so she could lean down and kiss him. “Oh my god.”

He chuckled a little as he kissed her back. “Wow, first you call me grandpa, now you call me adorable…you really know how to get a guy going.”

“Well, I was trying to–”

His hips rolled up against her as he nipped at her bottom lip. “Do that?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

“I thought you wanted me to check Twitter and see what people–”

Anna groaned against the already-flushed skin of his neck before pulling away. “Oh, fuck, I forgot about that.”

“Sorry– that was a mood-killer, wasn’t it?”

“Tragically, yes.”

He patted her hip. “I’ll make it up to you later. Here, show me how to look up what people are saying.”

She did so quickly and bit her lip. “You gotta promise to tell me the truth. Even if everyone hates it. Just don’t tell me, like, specific things, I don’t need to know if I’m a meme again or—“

He was already looking. “Do you want me to tell you now, or—“

“No! God, no, there’s no way I can face this before breakfast. Let me at least get some coffee down.”

She kissed his cheek before clambering out of bed. “Do you want anything?”

“‘m good,” he said, already back to scrolling. 

Anna smiled to herself as she pulled on the pair of old sweatpants she’d brought back from his parents’ house and kept here ever since for the nights she stayed over— more for Sven’s sake than anyone else’s. Even tightened, they hung low on her hips under her stolen t-shirt as she went into the kitchen, trying to think about anything but the inevitable failure of this movie. 

She had only planned on making coffee, but then waiting for the pot to brew was leaving her too much time to think, and so by the time she returned to Kristoff’s bedroom she was having to draw on every reflex from her waitressing days as she carried in a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast, two mugs of steaming coffee, and a bottle of whiskey she’d pulled out of the cabinet just in case. 

“Do you think this is the real Ellen Degeneres?” he asked, holding his phone up to her; his eyes widened in surprise as he took in the feast she was setting on the bed. “Wow. You really did appreciate me getting a Twitter, huh? Breakfast in bed and everything.”

“There’s tabasco on your half,” she said, taking his phone. “Oh my god, it is the real Ellen.”

“Oh, cool,” he said, already taking a bite of toast. “Will you get me her autograph when you go on her show? That’s her second twit about it, by the way, the first one said she loved it. So did all the other ones.”

She set the phone back down; her fingers were trembling so badly she was worried she might drop it in her coffee. “All of them?”

He had been trying to contain his excitement, probably for the sake of her nerves, but it spilled over now as he grinned and nodded at her, his hair flopping in his eyes. “I told you. You’re a star, Anna.”

They couldn’t linger long over breakfast, as much as she wanted to; Kristoff had a nine A.M. class, and Anna had errands to run before having Honey over for dinner that night. “I think it’s a date,” she explained to Kristoff as she got dressed. He had been on his way to the shower and stopped to watch her appreciatively, as if it were the very first time. She took her time rolling up her tights, his eyes tracking every inch of progress. “They set it up through me, but like, they both texted me at the same time asking ‘hey, what about dinner tomorrow with the three of us’ so, uh, kind of obvious, if you ask me.”

He came over to help her tuck her sweater into her skirt and let his hands linger on her hips as he leaned down to kiss her, slow and scorching. When he pulled away, she couldn’t help but pout a little. “Later, baby. I promise.”

“You’re lucky I’m already dressed, Bjorgman.”

“Really? Feeling kind of unlucky, myself. Could’ve used some company in the shower.”

He left her with a quick kiss on the cheek before heading down the hall to the bathroom. She smoothed her skirt back out, smiling to herself as she padded into the kitchen. Sven had already left for the day, but he’d left a post-it note on the counter that said, “Thanks for leaving me a cup, Anna :)”

“You’re welcome,” she said aloud, then winced at the mess she’d made of the counter. Well, it was their apartment, but she’d been the one who’d somehow used three pans to make scrambled eggs, and so she rolled up her sleeves and got to work scrubbing the dishes. 

She was nearly finished when she felt Kristoff come up behind her and press his lips to the back of her neck, his hands settling around her waist. She turned, bubbles still on her hands, and slid her fingers into his damp hair as their lips met. 

“I love you,” he murmured against her mouth.

“Love you back,” she said, her hands sliding down to his shoulders so she could pull him into a hug, inhaling the clean, woodsy scent of his soap and letting herself be warmed from the inside out as he embraced her.

It occurred to her then how much easier it would be if instead of his-and-Sven’s and hers-and-Elsa’s it was just theirs, but they’d only been dating for not quite six months and– well. Was it too soon? She didn’t know; she’d never made it too far.

She pulled back just a little and, to her surprise, found the same vulnerability, the same longing, in Kristoff’s eyes that she felt in her heart. Neither of them gave voice to it, but a smile crept over their faces all the same. “Love you,” she said again, because she could and because it made him smile and because she meant it so damn much she would say nothing else for the rest of her life and still be content. She had never felt like this before, not about anyone or anything, had never treasured something like this– and never felt so treasured in return. Kristoff saw her, knew her, inside and out; had looked over each part of her, even the raw, aching pieces she had tried to hide, and cherished each of them, and god, she could only hope she’d loved him just as well in return.

He kissed her forehead, as if to say you have. “Love you back.”

—

She was halfway to the grocery store when her agent called. “Sam!” she greeted him cheerfully. “How are–”

“Seven hundred fifty thousand.”

“Um…what?”

“Dollars. That’s how much the studio just called me to offer.”

She jerked the wheel, pulling into a gas station parking lot before she passed out. “I– for–”

“Anastasia. They upped their offer because they know how many others you’re about to get.”

When had she started shaking? “Because–”

“Remember that movie with Sandra Bullock and the blindfolds?”

“Um…Bird Box?”

“Yes. This is bigger, Anna. This is the first time my phone’s been freed up to call you all morning. People love the movie.”

“And– so–”

“Shit, someone’s calling me again. Listen– can you come in this afternoon to sign the paperwork? Assuming you still want to take this job, because if not, like I said, there’s about to be plenty of other ones on the table.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, I’ll be right in, Sam, I–”

“Ah, shit, someone else is calling the landline– see you at two, okay?”

He hung up before she could say goodbye. For a long moment, she just leaned her forehead against the steering wheel, trying to comprehend the scope of seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars– for her, just for wearing a fancy dress and saying a few lines. The rest of her student loans, her credit card debt, Elsa’s student loans; she could go into any store on Rodeo and come out with too many bags to carry, could go back to the car salesman and this time pay cash for something new and embarrassingly shiny, she could buy a house–

A house. She could move out on her own if she wanted, maybe not pay for it all up front because this was still Los Angeles, but a mortgage would be nothing now if she wanted to stop renting, and she could furnish it and feed herself and buy a bed big enough to stretch from one wall to the other if she wanted– and maybe, if she was lucky, someone would even agree to share it with her.

She shot off a quick text to Kristoff telling him about the news; he was in a lab at the moment, so he wouldn’t respond for hours, but still she had to let him know. And there was something else to contemplate, in a day that had already been full of very big questions: when, exactly, had he become the first person she told about something, before even her own sister?

She didn’t know. She didn’t care. She pinched herself just to make sure she was really awake before starting the car up again and heading on her way. 

The first person to recognize her was a girl in a Stranger Things t-shirt in front of the bananas. She wanted a selfie, which Anna gladly posed for, secretly grateful that for once she had foregone wearing one of Kristoff’s sweatshirts out in public again. Next there was a guy by the bread who wanted her autograph, then another guy who saw her signing and said, “I’m not sure who you are, but this is LA, so why not?” and asked for it, too. And then the cashier started freaking out and said she loved the trailer and called her friend over even though she was in the middle of checking someone out, and then all the people in the checkout lines started craning their necks, and suddenly a huge group selfie was happening and someone was stepping on her toes, and she had been really really nice to all of them but finally she squeaked, “Uh, listen, guys, I have a meeting to get to–”

“Are you gonna be in another movie?” the girl in the Stranger Things shirt asked. Why was she still here? All she had in her cart were those bananas. “Is this a meeting with Netflix?”

“Uh, no comment?”

“Ohmygod, you are!”

“Um, well, I hope so, since I’m an actress. Anyway– bye!”

She took off at a clip, not realizing until she was already in her car and halfway up the road that she had left the bag with the avocados in it at the checkout lane. And she had promised to make guacamole– well. There was no way in hell she was turning back around for it. She liked people, really, but not when they were all crowding around her at once and asking her things she didn’t know the answer to and frantically tweeting about where she was. Elsa would just have to make do with plain tortilla chips.

A flashbulb went off when she pulled in to the agency parking lot, then two more as she walked in. A security guard met her halfway across the lot. “No fuckin’ photos here, assholes!” he yelled as he held one arm around her, blocking her face from view. “Sorry, miss. Sam sent me down here just in case. Normally we don’t have to bother, but damn, they’re persistent today.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, relieved. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“All in a day’s work,” he said, holding the door open for her. “Congratulations, by the way. Haven’t seen the movie yet, but my wife’s already texted me twice about it.”

She laughed. “Hope you enjoy it.”

Sam’s office was on the twelfth floor; she took the elevator ride to check her phone and found the screen full of notifications, so many she couldn’t seem to find the bottom. Scowling, she swiped it open and went to her messages– there were sixteen little notifications already, most of them from people she hadn’t spoken to since college. She had to scroll down to find Kristoff’s, something she hadn’t had to do since– well, since getting his number.

That’s amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud. 

People are talking about your movie between classes. :) Someone asked me if you were really my girlfriend and asked for your autograph. What do you want me to say?

.

love you sm 💕💕

honestly can u just tell them no?

kind of already been a crazy day

.

No you’re not my girlfriend, or the autograph, or both?

The elevator dinged open to reveal Sam with his arms open, saving her from having to answer. She didn’t know how to answer.

“There’s my star!” Sam cheered, pulling her into a tight hug. She went gladly; he had been her agent since even before she had graduated, when she’d been looking for work as a background character and he’d been willing to take her on. He’d been a father figure to her ever since, guiding her through all the ups and downs and helping her in every way he could.

“You have no idea how relieved I am to see you,” Anna sighed, squeezing him a little tighter than normal.

“That bad, huh?” he asked, gently patting her back. 

“Worse.”

“I’ll take care of it, kiddo,” he promised. “But first, let’s sign some papers.”

—-

At dinner, she thanked her lucky stars that Elsa and Honey were too wrapped up in staring at each other over the tortilla chips– thank god Honey at least had brought spinach dip– to wonder why she was being so uncharacteristically quiet. They raised a toast to her movie being a success, and then another to her signing the new contract, and then another to “sevenhundredfiftyfuckinthousand dollars, Anna, knew you were a star the moment I first did your eyeshadow!” and by then their cheeks were flushed enough from the wine that she knew she didn’t have to make much more conversation.

She’d been looking forward to this, really; she loved her sister, and Honey was rapidly becoming a close friend, and ever since the trip to Disneyland she’d been pestering them both for details of their budding romance. But today, all she could do was wonder if Honeymaren had had to ever deal with getting recognized in the streets, how Elsa would respond if paparazzi started camping outside the door, what either of them might say if she suddenly admitted she’d been thinking of moving out on her own. They’d probably be grateful, honestly, judging by the way Elsa had not-so-secretly slid her hand under the table to sit on Honey’s knee.

“I’m gonna call it a night,” Anna said suddenly, and they both turned to look at her, blinking their way out of the lovestruck haze they’d been caught in.

“But you didn’t even eat your cake,” Elsa said, frowning. “And it’s your favorite kind.”

“I know, I just– um. Kristoff, promised to call, long day, you know how it is,” she said, already pushing her chair back in and heading for the door. 

She’d eventually texted him back, up to you babe you decide, and he’d said It’s okay, class is already over for the day. Call you after work?

Her phone rang at 9:01, just like it always did. “Sorry,” she said, not bothering with a hello, “that I waited so long to text you back about that thing.”

“Hello to you, too,” he said, amused; she could hear the jingle of car keys in his hand.

“I just, um. Felt really bad about that. But I really didn’t know what to say.”

“‘S okay. Figured it was something like that, or a meeting or something.”

“There was a meeting, too, actually. Got the contract all signed and notarized, talked to my new publicist, started coming up with a PR plan, all the fun legal stuff.”

“What else happened?”

“What do you mean? That’s the exciting stuff.”

“You sound…I don’t know. Like something’s wrong.”

She bit her lip. “I just, uh…god, this is going to sound so stupid and self-pitying, but like, at Trader Joe’s some people recognized me, and it was cool when it was just one person coming up at a time, but then I was trying to check out and a bunch of people swarmed me, and then like, a security guard had to help me get into the agency—“

“A security guard? Anna, are you okay?”

If she said no, the next thing she would hear would be his turn signal as he made a u-turn and headed across town to her apartment. It was tempting, but he had a full load of classes tomorrow, from eight to five. “I’m good, really. There were just some photographers.”

He was quiet for a long moment. “Did you ever want to be this famous?”

“No. Well, of course I did, but like…it was never about, you know, this stuff. I want people to like who I am on the screen, not, y’know, sneak a picture of me squeezing avocados.”

“I was wondering what that twit was about.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” she said, suddenly close to tears, but the only response was silence. 

Finally he sighed. “Sorry. Are you really sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. But I just…can we just pretend this is like a normal night now? Just…tell me about your day, let me say some cheesy shit to you, tell me about what we’ll do tomorrow night.”

“Aye aye, captain,” he said, and she couldn’t help but smile. 

—-

The next morning, her plan to hide out all day was interrupted by her phone ringing at eight. She had finished talking to Kristoff just before ten and had spent the next several hours trying fruitlessly to sleep. Around six, she had finally succeeded, and so she was swearing when she tapped the red icon to make the stupid buzzing stop. 

It started again almost immediately, and she groaned as she reached across the bed to grab it. “Sam? We literally just spent all afternoon—“

“I know. But your publicist is here. We’ve already gotten three interview requests for you and a Hallmark producer breathing down our necks. Oh, and Twitter called to see if you have time to do the verification process today, and there’s a few designs here for potential awards show gowns, and— well. None of that is why I called you. I need you and the boyfriend here ASAP.”

“…Kristoff? Why?”

“We have to figure out our game plan before it’s too late.”

“Our game plan? Sam, what—“

“Shit, sorry, Hallmark guy again— I’ll explain later, gottagokiddobye!”

Eight-oh-five, and already today sucked. 

morning kris💕

sam wants us both for a meeting asap

i’ll pick u up from class?

.

Why me? Did I do something?

.

don’t know, honestly, don’t think so

something about a game plan

aren’t u in class?

.

Starting late. Professor dropped a liver again. 

.

ew

ew ew ew

idk how you do this shit

love you 

Try as she might, she couldn’t fall back asleep, not even after going for a long run, coming home and eating a turkey sandwich, and putting on Bob Ross. That usually worked even before the first happy little tree got finished. And Sam never did call back, so by the time she pulled onto campus, she was in a full-on Terrible Mood. 

And then Kristoff slid into the passenger seat and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. “We finished a couple minutes early. Thought you might need this.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before taking a sip. “What’s it like being the most thoughtful person in the world?”

His cheeks turned pink. “It’s nothing, Anna, really. Just wanted to help if I could.”

She couldn’t resist kissing his cheek again before starting the car back up. “You never did make it up to me, by the way.”

“Make up what?”

“Yesterday morning, when you interrupted me trying to go down on you to ask about Twitter.”

Now his whole face was red. “Anna, you can’t remind me of that right before I’m supposed to be in some big important meeting.”

“We have time to pull over. I’ll tell Sam there was traffic.”

He looked tempted, but then he glanced over and saw she wasn’t smiling. “No, baby, let’s get this over with so we can stop worrying about it.”

He held her hand as they walked in to the building, eyes darting around to make sure there were no hidden photographers lurking. Thankfully, they made it in without incident and were quickly ushered into Sam’s office, where he greeted them with an unusually tense smile. 

The publicist— at least, she assumed that was her— was sitting behind his desk, too. Anna sat in the same chair she always had, and Kristoff sat beside her, looking as if they were in a doctor’s office bracing for bad news. 

Was it going to be bad news? Judging by the look on the woman’s face—

She squeezed Kristoff’s hand, and he squeezed back. 

Sam sat down and cleared his throat. “So. The two of you are, presumably, in this for the long haul.”

“Yes,” Kristoff said immediately, and a new softness appeared in Sam’s eyes. 

“Then we need to figure out our plan to handle your public relationship,” the publicist said, steepling her fingers. “Lena, by the way. Lovely to meet you both, sorry it’s not under less intense circumstances.”

Anna swallowed hard. “Has something, like, happened? Has someone—“

“No, no,” Sam said quickly. “But at the rate your star is rising, we have to start figuring out how to handle the…fallout. Sorry, dramatic word,” he said, seeing their stunned expressions. “But, well…we need to decide if your relationship is going to be public. Because sooner or later, if we don’t start being proactive, that decision will be made for you.”

Kristoff tensed beside her, his fingers tightening around hers. Sweet, endlessly selfless Kristoff who still blushed when she kissed his cheek unexpectedly and stammered over the small talk customers tried to make while he was at work— 

“It can be, if— if that’s what Anna—“

“No,” she cut in quickly. “No. Kristoff is— he’s— no. And I just…no.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. “So keeping the whole thing under wraps?”

“Yes. Some parts of my life need to stay just for me. Just for us.”

She heard him let out a long breath beside her; he never would have dreamed of saying it himself, would do anything he could to support her in any way possible, but she never would have forgiven herself if she hadn’t spoken up on his behalf. 

“Probably for the best,” Sam said, looking sympathetic. “Things are only going to get crazier, kiddo.”

Lena nodded. “They are. If you two are out together, you’ll need to hide your faces. Both of you. If they find out where you live, where you spend your free time, you’ll have to stop going there together. Date nights only outside of the city. Sleepovers only if you leave separately. And Anna…you have to take down that tweet.”

“What tweet?”

“The one that says ‘love you too’ to an account with no other followers. You’ll need to unfollow him, too, unless you want someone to notice him in the list and look him up and find where you both live and start camping out there.”

Kristoff paled beside her. “They can do that?”

“Yes. They could already be trying. I know this is a lot, but it’s just what we have to do.”

Lena leaned over the desk, her eyes serious as they met Anna’s. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you guys. But you have to be careful.”

Anna barely heard the rest of the meeting, which was thankfully short; all of her focus was on Kristoff beside her, the way his shoulders had sagged a little more with every word, the way his thumb had started circling over hers, the sadness in his eyes as they faced each other in the elevator on the way back down. 

He started to say something, but Anna interrupted him. “Can you drive? Sorry, I just— I don’t know.”

He kissed her forehead and took the keys from her hand. As soon as she was seated, she pulled out her phone, opened Twitter, and with a few taps deleted the only online evidence of their relationship. It shouldn’t have bothered her as much as it did, just deleting a stupid tweet and unfollowing an account he’d never use again anyway, but god— it was just supposed to have been a stupid, cute gesture, something for them to laugh about, and now—

Kristoff reaches over and squeezed her knee. “It’s gonna be okay, Anna. Really.”

Neither of them spoke again until they were back at his apartment, afraid to meet each other’s gaze. 

“Pizza?” Kristoff asked finally, but Anna shook her head. 

“Not hungry. You eat something, though, I’m just— just gonna shower, okay?”

She didn’t wait for a response before heading to the bathroom. She shut the door firmly behind her, stripped out of her clothes, turned the water on as hot as it would go, and immediately burst into tears. 

She bit down on the back of her hand, hard, as a sob threatened to escape her. Of course you would be selfish like this, the voice in the back of her mind hissed, of course you would get the job everyone dreams of and fucking cry about it because it means people give a fuck about you. Pathetic. 

God, she was pathetic, standing here in a shower so hot her skin was already turning pink feeling sorry for herself while her boyfriend who actually did something worthwhile was waiting for her to get her shit together, a million times more patient than she had ever deserved. All because of a stupid meeting, a few new rules, unfollowing him on Twitter— fuck, she thought, remembering again his proud smile as he’d figured out how the stupid fucking thing worked for her. 

Eventually the hot water ran out, and she wrapped herself in the towel and went to his room, pulling on the biggest shirt and smallest pair of basketball shorts she could find before coming back out, not caring that her hair was wet and would dry all wonky.

He was asleep on the sofa when she came in at last; he had changed into his sweatpants and switched into his glasses, which now hung precariously on the tip of his nose. A book was still open on his chest, held in place by one limp hand and already beginning to slide. She crept over and carefully eased it out of his grasp, setting it face down on the coffee table so he wouldn’t lose his place. He still didn’t move even when she removed his glasses and set them aside; it made her want to weep all over again, seeing the purple shadows under his eyes. She heard a faint creak from behind her and turned to see that Sven had come back in to the kitchen to get a cup of water. He nodded in greeting and beckoned her over. She tiptoed to him and offered him a weak smile. “Hey,” she whispered, and he offered her a fistbump.

“Hey, superstar,” he said. “Your movie is all anyone talked about at lunch today. You okay?”

Her lip wobbled, and before she could say more he pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be good, Anna,” he said, patting her back. “Kris told me about the meeting. That’s shitty, man.”

“Yeah. But it’s…for the best.”

“It’s gonna be good,” he repeated, and then hesitated for a moment. “I’m, uh, I’m not good at the, like, nice, emotional support shit, but, uh, he like, stayed up late to watch the movie with me last night because he was proud of you and shit.”

“But he has that eight A.M. class–”

“I know, I told him that shit could wait. But he didn’t want to. I guess, uh, I don’t know if that helps. But like…shit, man. I haven’t seen him be this happy before. So I hope you guys can make it work.”

“Me, too.”

He let go of her with an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Anyway, uh, I got work tomorrow, so I’ll just…go back to my room. But I’m here if you need me, you know that, right?”

“Thanks, Sven.”

“Anytime.”

When she heard his door click shut again, she turned and looked back at Kristoff; he hadn’t budged. She went to his room and brought back a pillow and blanket. She lifted his head just enough to slide the pillow under; he blinked blearily and mumbled, “Anna?”

“Shh, baby,” she whispered, kissing his forehead, “go back to sleep.”

His eyes were shut again even before she had laid his head back down on the pillow. She draped the blanket over him and had just started to pull away when she felt his fingers brush against her wrist. His eyes were open again, sleepy but clear. “Come here,” he said softly, and she did; he raised one arm, and she nestled against him, their legs tangling as she laid her head on his chest. He pulled the blanket back up over them both and curled his arm tightly around her, determined to shelter her even in his sleep.

“Love you, Kris,” she murmured, but the only response was a soft snore. 

[ridiasfangirlings]

Homra wakes up to see Mikoto turned into a lion by a strain and go to S4 for help but the same thing happened to the blue king as he was turned as well (canine or feline, sorry idk his animal self). Lion Mikoto keeps bothering Reisi and the blue king is not having it

I’m mostly just imagining Homra having to take Mikoto to Scepter 4, which turns into something like Totsuka leading a lion around on a leash while Anna sits calmly on Mikoto’s back and Kusanagi just hopes no one spots them. Also imagine Kusanagi’s face when he walks into the bar one day and there’s a lion sitting on his couch, like he was out getting groceries or something and isn’t aware that Mikoto ran into a Strain while out on a smoke break. Kusanagi walks in and looks around, wondering if Mikoto went out, and that’s when he spots the big ol’ lion just sitting there on his couch. Kusanagi pauses for a long moment and is just like I need to tell Fujishima to keep his pets outta the bar, which is when Anna comes downstairs and walks right over to the lion all ‘Mikoto.’ Kusanagi’s starting to tell her to be careful around the lion when he realizes what she just said, Anna’s just petting the lion as she looks back at Kusanagi and says that this is Mikoto. Kusanagi can’t quite believe it but he knows that Anna wouldn’t lie about something this big. Totsuka shows up around this point too and he’d probably be all amused by lion Mikoto, like he’s urging Anna to start braiding Mikoto’s mane just as Mikoto gives this big yawn showing all his teeth and Kusanagi’s like please try not to get killed while I call Seri-chan. Strangely he doesn’t get any reply from Scepter 4 and decides they’ll just have to take Mikoto there, figuring that Scepter 4 would be the most likely to have knowledge of who might have done this and how to change Mikoto back.

So they all head over to Scepter 4 with Totsuka trying to coax Mikoto down the road because he keeps tying to stop and nap. Anna gets to ride on Mikoto’s back and it makes Kusanagi a little nervous but Mikoto’s also very calm and docile around her and she doesn’t show any fear whatsoever so Kusanagi knows that means that she’s confident that even in this form there’s no way Mikoto could hurt her. They show up at Scepter 4’s gates and Kusanagi’s trying to think of what kind of explanation he’s going to give Scepter 4 about why Homra’s second and third in command are showing up at a rival clan’s doorstep with a lion in tow. There’s no one at the gate though and it’s open so Kusanagi decides they may as well go inside, Totsuka’s all here King this way and Mikoto just walks calmly into the building. They’ve just walked inside when there’s a small commotion from nearby and suddenly this majestic wolf comes walking out of one of the offices. It stops and poses, sparkling elegantly, and Kusanagi’s just like 'don’t tell me…’ which is when Awashima comes running out all Captain please don’t wander off on your own. Kusanagi’s like 'Hello, Seri-chan,’ waving politely as she glances up and looks between him and the lion standing there in the middle of the hallway.

They figure out pretty quickly that it must have been the same Strain and everyone like gets together to discuss what to do about their Kings (I’m imagining like Awashima and Akiyama sitting across the table from Totsuka and Kusanagi while Anna and Fushimi get to watch over the Kings, Anna is sitting next to Mikoto petting his mane while Fushimi is being aggressively groomed by doting papa wolf Munakata). They’re going over shared information when they hear the sound of something breaking, everyone looks up to see Mikoto’s actually gotten up and like knocked over a vase while moving to sniff Munakata. Munakata jumps to his feet, tail waving slightly as he just reaches up and cuffs Mikoto’s face. Kusanagi and Awashima both try to scold their respective Kings but they aren’t listening at all, Mikoto’s making this low growl and huffing at Munakata who’s darting around him all light on his feet and standing between him and Fushimi (all while Fushimi stares at the scene like '….’). Awashima coldly tells Kusanagi to make sure his King doesn’t cause any trouble and Kusanagi replies that doesn’t it seem like the Blue King is the one starting things here and Totsuka wonders if they should call a zookeeper.

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Shadowhunters Short Stories Master List!

So I got a message from my lovely friend @kit-herondale-blackthorn asking me if I have a master post of all my Shadowhunter fics so it will be easier to find them all and read them, I didn’t so I’m going to make one because it’s a really good idea! I’ve also been asked to tag @cordeliashunts, if anyone of you want me to tag you in this just ask!

Here I’m going to link every single Shadowhunter fic I have written and give a tiny summary of the fic! 

Shadowhunters Short Story #1.

The birth of James Herondale. You can find this story here

Shadowhunters Short Story #2. 

Magnus and Alec adopt a baby girl with Down’s Syndrome. You can find this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #3.

While in his final year at Shadowhunter Academy, Simon Lewis finds out he and his girlfriend Isabelle are going to parents. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #4.

After killing Malcolm Fade, 17 year old Emma Carstairs finds out that she is pregnant with her parabtia’s child. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #4 part 2.

Two years after welcoming their daughter, and just months after The Clave went into exile, 19 year old Emma Carstairs finds out she and Julian are about to be parents again. You can read this story here 

Shadowhunters Short Story #5.

During The Dark War with Sebastian, 16 year old Clary Fairchild finds out she’s pregnant, with the threat of Sebastian looming over them all, she and Jace have to make the painful decision to place their baby for adoption. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #6.

23 year old Clary Herondale is expecting her and Jace’s first child and their nephews Max and Rafael Ligthwood-Bane could not be more excited to be cousins. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #7.

The birth of Lucie Herondale. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #8.

The birth of Anna Lightwood. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #9.

Maryse Lightwood’s journey through marriage, motherhood and exile. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #10.

Little Matthew and Charles Fairchild impatiently await the arrival of their twin sisters. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #11.

(Written before GOTSM and QOOAD) Tessa and Jem visit the LA Institute with their baby son William. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #12.

The births of Jonathon Morgenstern and Clary Fray. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #13.

Helen and Aline adopt a baby girl. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #14.

Cristina, Mark and Kieran welcome their first child. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #14 part 2.

2 years after giving birth to her first child, Cristina Blackthorn-Kingson finds out she is pregnant again. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #14 part 3.

Cristina finds out she is pregnant with her third child just before her mother comes to visit. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #15.

Magnus and Alec and all their friends and family celebrate Max’s 3rd birthday.  You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #16.

The birth of Christopher Lightwood. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #17.

Max and Rafael Lightwood-Bane learn about their Uncle Max. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #18.

Jamie, Will and Matthew arrive back in London after Jamie is expelled from Shadowhunter Academy. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #19.

(Written before EET) Anna Lightwood  comes out to her family. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #20.

What if Céline Herondale had managed to get away from Idris before her son was born and lived to raise him? You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #21.

What if Tessa and Jem took over The LA Institute after the dark war? You can read this story here

Shadowhunters Short Story #22.

Two years after suffering from a miscarriage, Charlotte Branwell finds out she is pregnant with a baby girl. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #22 Part 2.

Charlotte and Henry Fairchild welcome their second daughter. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #23.

The birth of Alexander Lightwood. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #24.

Lucie Herondale’s first words. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #25.

The birth of Thomas Lightwood. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #26.

What if Matthew Fairchild likes Lucie Herondale as more than a friend? You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #26 part 2.

Lucie and Matthew welcome their third child together. You can read this story here

Shadowhunters Short Story #27.

(Written before GOTSM or QOAAD) Tessa and Jem’s eldest daughter Rose finds herself in a difficult situation. Tessa recounts her days of helping young women in Ireland in The Magdalene Laundries. You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs Part 1.

Tessa and Jem welcome their first daughter and Kit finally gets the little sibling he has always wanted. You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs Part 2.

Kit and Ty finally confess their feelings for each other. You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs Part 3.

Tessa and Jem find out they are expecting their 2nd child, but when Tessa’s pregnancy and birth become very complicated, they are told there are chances that both Tessa and the baby will die. You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs Part 4.

Tessa gives birth to her second child after a very complicated pregnancy and birth, but is all well? You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs Part 5.

Tessa and Jem welcome their 3rd child and Kit mentors his sisters in being a big sibling. You can read this story here.

Kit Carstairs part 6. 

Tessa, Jem and Kit celebrate the 6th birthday of Tessa and Jem’s eldest daughter. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #28.

 The birth of Owen Herondale. You can read this story here. 

Shadowhunters Short Story #28 part 2.

James, Cordelia and their family and friends celebrate Owen’s second birthday.  You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #29.

 This story is about Helen giving birth to her and Aline’s first daughter. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #29 part 2.

Helen and Aline welcome their second child and first son. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #30.

The birth of Matthew Fairchild. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #30 part 2.

The Adventures of 1 year old Matthew Fairchild. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #31.

Magnus and Alec decide to have another child through surrogacy. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #32.

Tessa and Jem welcome their first daughter, who has a very special name. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #33.

Two months after the events of QOAAD, Isabelle and Simon find out they are expecting their first child. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #34.

The Warlock Squad meet Baby Carstairs for the first time. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #35.

 18 year old Cordelia Carstairs (II) has found herself in a spot of trouble just after her 18th birthday, how will everyone react? You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #35 Part 2.

Kit has always been amazing at being a big brother, how will he fare as an Uncle, when his sister gives birth to her first daughter? You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #35 part 3.

Just after Cordelia finishes her training, Rafael asks her a very important question. You can read this story here

Shadowhunters Short Story #36.

Ty spends the day with The Carstairs family. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #37.

The story of the births of Julian, Livvy, Ty, Dru and Tavvy Blackthorn and the story of their mother’s death. You can read this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #38.

Two months after beginning a relationship with Thomas Lightwood, Matthew Fairchild receives some news that will forever change his life. You can ready this story here.

Shadowhunters Short Story #39.

When Ariadne Fairchild finds herself in need of a friend and someone to confide in, she goes to the one person who has always held a special place in her heart, Anna Lightwood. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #40.

When Tessa and Jem find out they’re expecting their second child, Kit suggests they upload a pregnancy reveal to YouTube and is utterly mortified when they take his suggestion. You can read this story here!

Shadowhunters Short Story #41.

Kitty Mundane AU. How would Kit and Ty come together in the mundane world? You can read this story here!

[shoheiakagi]

For the "talk about Homra": what's Akagi's daily routine? What does he do in Homra, does he have a job or is he studying? Does he have a girlfriend? What does he think of his King? Share your headcanons! :D

Ty so much for sending me this ask! I really enjoyed answering this question, and it actually made me think a lot more about this character. I’m sorry it took so long to reply, I had a really busy day + my phone was dying when I got your message (although I don’t like responding from my phone cause it causes a lot of grammar issues to the point of questioning my own English lol).

Also, this is mostly based on my opinions/interpretation, which I am aware that may not align with anyone else’s interpretation.

Keeping this under the cut cause it came out wayyyyyy too long. Also, there might be some grammar mistakes that I’m too lazy to search for cause typing this thing tired me out lmaoo, so sorry in advance. But don’t be shy to ask me more questions or to send your own headcanons! I love this shit.

Talk to me about HOMRA

Daily Routine:

Okay so this one is a little hard for me cause I barely go on a daily routine when I’m not going to class or work but even then I barely function well so I barely think about how others go on about their days.

He’s one of the few early risers in HOMRA, even on his days off, due to insomnia. 

Which causes him to be super grumpy during the morning and even at work (but it’s a good thing he knows how to pull himself together, otherwise he’d be giving Bandou a run for his money when it comes to getting fired).

He drinks a lot of coffee (there’s a Starpucks right near his job, after all) which is great cause it gives him energy, but it’s also bad cause it gives him too much energy

Like seriously, he’s probably one of those super annoying cheery guys you lowkey wanna smack sometimes but don’t cause self control and cause he’s cute af

He actually doesn’t go to HOMRA every single day like the other members. Some days he’s too tired from work, other days he just wants to chill with his other friends.

But he’s always the first one there whenever something urgent comes up.

He tries to go to the gym at least three times a week, to make sure he stays fit.

In general though, he enjoys working out and staying active.

He honestly hates staying in his apartment for a long time though. Not only does he feel lonely, but lately he’s been thinking too much (”We’re all doomed”- Bandou). Memories of Totsuka & Mikoto, how HOMRA disbanded once, the possibilities of HOMRA not being in his future, etc.

He’s not exactly sure if he wants to enroll in university, cause fuck school, but he also can’t rely on working part time at a local diner for the rest of his life

Which leads him to enroll in an online class for coding since he’s one of the few people who prefers numbers over literature

Whenever he has the time, he loves adventuring out in Shizume city, checking out new places (but lets be real, this boys been everywhere) and making new friends. 

Loves to sit on roof tops; it makes him feel like he’s at top of the world. It’s the little things that makes life worth living.

HOMRA:

He’s one of the moodmakers of HOMRA (mostly amongst the abc boys + yata/kamamoto. He’s way too intimidated by Mikoto). 

I headcanon him as being the strongest amongst the abc boys. Akagi may be behind Dewa in terms of perception, but he is physically stronger. So that combined with his own strong perception skills, makes him a really good fighter, much to the envy of Bandou & Chitose.

Despite being a laidback and cheerful guy, he loves fighting. Whenever there is some illegal gang to bust, he’s one of the first ones out the bar, itching to smash some guy’s head with his bat or burning them all.

He’s obviously closer to the other alphabet boys than he is with the core members of homra (trio + anna/yata/kamamoto), which leads them to forming their own group within the clan. Whereas the main members are in the bar most of the time, the alphabet boys are usually out partying or dicking around somewhere. 

Job/Studies:

Based on the movie and some official content, it’s safe to say that he works part time at a local diner, which he later gets Bandou to join.

Despite him being grumpy in the morning, he’s always friendly to the customers he’s serving, which makes him super popular, especially amongst the female customers.

At first, he was oblivious to it, but that didn’t last to long cause he is pretty perceptive. Eventually he uses his charms to his advantage, cause the more customers, the more tips.

He’s always caught in the middle of arguments between Bandou and his boss (and sometimes other coworkers) which he often has to beg his boss not to fire Bandou cause yeah the guy’s petty, but he’s really good at frying those potatoes (no lie, San Chan is really passionate about how he cooks his fries). 

But sometimes it leads to his own job being on the line since he’s the one who convinced his boss to hire Bandou (goddammit san chan). It’s a good thing he’s popular amongst the ladies.

As i mentioned before, he enrolls in an online coding class, since he’s still on the fence about going to an actual university, but he doesn’t wanna spend his life flipping burgers.

I actually got the coding idea from another blog, but it really makes sense since he was good with hacking in s1.

Back in school, he was an average student. He did the bare requirements, always studied last minute, and would zone out in class. But he’s always found himself doing better in math. To him, math was simple. You just gotta work through the problem to find the correct answer, which is kinda how life works. He likes that there is only answer to a question, not multiple interpretations. This pretty much reflects on Shouhei himself. Despite being an optimistic guy, he tends to the see the world in shades of black & white.

Relationship (*slightly nsfw):

Honestly, I can see him in a relationship, but it’s usually set during the MOR timeline (before Totsuka’s death), months after the events of ROK, or in a completely alternative universe where no one dies. I can only imagine how his s/o would feel when they find out about him & the rest of HOMRA terrorizing a high school in order to seek vengeance.

He’s not a womanizer like Chitose, nor is he desperate for a woman to look at him like Bandou, but he’s had his share of relationships & hookups.

I genuinely think that he’s one of the more experienced members in HOMRA after Kusanagi & Chitose, but he’s more discreet about it. Also, he’s just not the type to flirt with every single woman he sees.

Actually super romantic and takes relationships seriously, but occasionally indulges in random hookups and one night stands.

Has been in a friends with benefits relationship, but it did not end well since he ended up catching unrequited feelings.

Has actually flirted with a couple of his customers who interested him, and gave them his number.

Very into PDA (handholding, kisses, arm around the waist, hugs, etc). 

*As mentioned by other blogs, he’s adventurous when it comes to sex, but he has a soft spot for vanilla cause it seems romantic. Loves foreplay, and he usually prefers giving oral than receiving cause he loves to please his s/o (and cause he has an oral fixation).

*Lowkey fantasizes about public sex, but knows how control himself.

He wants a relationship in where they’re best friends, and have a lot of fun together, even if they’re doing boring shit like watching Netflix & eating takeout on a Saturday night (it’s the company that matters).

He’s a super friendly guy, which can sometimes annoy his s/o cause some people misinterpret his kindness as romantic interest.

I could see him being weak for sweet & petite girls with long brown hair (this may seem like self inserting but I can only wish I was petite).

As for guys, I’m not exactly sure on what his exact type would be since I ship him with a few characters who are completely different from each other, physically and mentally (Eric, Chitose, Bandou, etc). 

But in general though, he’s weak for anyone who looks good in red, his favorite color.

When he likes someone, he makes sure that he can do whatever it takes to win them over. Can be a bit persistent at times since he’s stubborn af, but stays within his boundaries and backs off if he notices that the other party is uncomfortable or genuinely not interested.

He can be a bit oblivious when it comes to others crushing on him, but it doesn’t take that long for him to figure it out.

He likes to think that he’s not a jealous person, but when he sees a sweet smile growing on his SO/crush’s face cause of someone else, his jaw noticeably clenches.

Super happy if his s/o gets along with his clansmen, but he gets a little tense when they’re near Chitose cause sometimes he can be a bit too flirty, but he trusts his S/O and Chitose.

Loves to tease his S/O, which can sometimes lead him to be a little fuck boyish.

His relationship with his Kings:

1. Mikoto:

Like the others, he respects Mikoto a lot. But unlike the others, he can’t help but feel a bit uneasy whenever Mikoto’s sharp, amber eyes rest on him.

Which can sometimes make him feel upset, like how can I be a HOMRA member if I can’t even look at my King without feeling nervous?

Sometimes though, he thinks back to the night when HOMRA had to save him & Bandou from getting killed due to his reckless ass. 

He can’t help but remember how Kusanagi briefly compared Mikoto to him, which didn’t mean anything back then cause he was ready to pass out from all that blood loss.

But it kinda makes him feel better to know that at least there’s one thing he has in common with his king: that they both can easily get corrupted by their power in the name of good. He likes to think of it as a special bond that connects them but he’s pretty sure there are other members who relate to the sentiment.

Somedays, he can’t help but notice how Mikoto is just there. Like yeah, he is a very powerful presence, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s there with them. He just doesn’t seem to care about what goes on, which doesn’t really fit the image of a king at all, at least from what he knows. Shit, if he was a King, God knows the havoc he would create.

Sometimes he wants to talk to his King and get to know him better, maybe even cheer him up. But he immediately rejects the idea and goes back to his own little group with the other alphabet boys.

He is just a clansmen, after all.

2. Anna:

Despite initially thinking that she was a weird brat, he genuinely came to love and care for her as the little sister he never had.

He takes her out for shopping w/e Kusanagi & Totsuka are unavailable.

Loves to bring her toys & candies whenever he can.

They both share a mutual appreciation for the color red, a bit more than the other members.

When Anna first became King, he wasn’t really sure on how to feel.

Like great, HOMRA is back together, but can she really be our King?

He, along with a few others, genuinely believes that they should be protecting Anna, not the other way around.

Especially with her tragic past, she needs to protected. Being a King will only cause more danger.

Also, despite all his denials, his ego is a little hurt that the leader of a street gang is a 12 year old girl.

But him & the rest of HOMRA eventually come to understand that Anna is capable of taking care of herself, she is their King for a reason.

[averagemarvelbitch]

Pride and Joy

Summary: AU where Tony Stark has a daughter, but then shit happens.

Read on AO3

CHAPTER ONE 

December 19, 1991.

Eighty six hours. Tony hadn’t slept in eighty six hours. He lay there on the king-size bed, looking at the ceiling intently, covered in sweat. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see the car slamming into the tree. He would see his father’s eyes, open and unseeing, blood dripping from his head, skull smashed from colliding into the steering wheel. He would see his mother, always so pristine and proper, with her clothes covered in blood, her head bent over, eyes closed, as if she was silently praying. Obie had warned him that seeing the pictures from the scene wasn’t a good idea, but he needed to see them to actually believe it. Howard had been, as far as Tony could remember, a horrible father and an arrogant piece of shit, but he couldn’t deny he had also been a force of nature. Sometimes, it felt like Howard was this invincible, immortal god who played by no rules except for his own. He survived a war, he built the biggest weapon’s company in the world, he succeeded even when all odds were against him (or, at least, that’s what he told Tony every time they had a fight). It was hard to imagine a simple car crash could ever kill the great Howard Stark. But it did. His father and his beautiful, loving mother were gone. And Tony was alone.

Sometimes, lying there on the bed, alone, he swore he could hear his mother’s voice, sweet and calm, singing one of those old Italian lullabies from when he was just a boy. Other times, he could smell her perfume in the air. He sat abruptly on the bed, violently wiping the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He was a Stark. And Stark men were made of iron. If Howard was here, he would say men don’t cry, they take action instead. His mother, though, would reassure him that tears are more than acceptable when the pain is too much to bear. But nobody was here to tell him anything. And so Tony got up and left his bedroom.

The mansion had always felt too big, too empty. It had never truly felt like home. But now, it felt like a coffin, its walls confining him, engulfing him, making it harder to breathe. He went down to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking a bottle of water. Looking around, he thought about Jarvis, whom he had lost two years ago. Everyone leaves, he thought, closing his eyes, everyone always leaves. He looked at the clock and sighed. It was 3 am and still sleep wouldn’t come. He had never felt so tired before in his life. He ditched the water and walked straight to Howard’s office. He needed sleep and maybe a bottle of whiskey would help. It wasn’t like Howard was ever going to drink it anyway.

December 25, 1991.

Christmas had once been a very big affair in his house. Howard and Maria would throw a big, fancy party every year. They’d invite every one of their friends, Jarvis and Anna would cook a formidable meal and there’d be music, and alcohol and talks about the companies, and the vacations spent at Switzerland skiing, and the renovating of the already perfectly good mansions. Tony would stand there, in his best suit, a forced smile on his lips, while his father talked and talked about his latest accomplishments. Did you know Tony got into MIT? At fifteen, if you’d believe it. Oh, yes, yes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, huh? Howard always did that. Complimenting Tony in front of others, but, behind closed doors, making sure he knew he was nothing special, that he could do better. It was annoying, but Tony played the part. He knew the importance of keeping appearances in this world, had been taught that at a very young age. And so he had gone to every party, every single year until he finally left for college and never looked back, spending Christmas at Rhodey’s house instead, eating homemade cookies and drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows.

This is my first Christmas alone, he thought and then snorted loudly, once more filling his glass with whiskey. It was ridiculous to think this was his first time spending Christmas alone. He had always been alone. Even when the house was full and the music played through the night, he still felt utterly alone. This was no different, really. He looked at the piano in the middle of the room and thought about his mother, her long, skilled fingers gently pressing the keys, her eyes closed, completely focused on the music, a small smile on her lips. If I had known that was the last time I’d hear you play, I’d have paid more attention.

He walked to the piano, sitting at the bench. He caressed the keys and took a deep breath, then closed his eyes and started playing. She’d always ask him to play on Christmas. You play so beautifully, Anthony. She’d say every time, with a smile that could warm the room. And Tony could never deny her. He felt the tears coming down his cheeks as he played her favorite piece, and then suddenly it was too much and he slammed his hands on the keys, the loud sound echoing through the big empty house. The tears came freely now as Tony sobbed, head on his hands, unable to calm himself down.

The next morning, Obie came to visit. He found Tony in the music room, bottles and more bottles all around him, and the piano smashed to pieces.

May 29, 1992.

Everything was loud. The music, the guests, everything. His head felt like it was going to explode, but it didn’t matter. He took another generous sip from the bottle in his hand and laughed at something his friend, Tiberius, said. He was lucky to have met Ty, especially now with Rhodey on the other side of the world, fighting wars that couldn’t be won. Tony wished he was here, and even offered Rhodey to call some higher ups and get him a free pass to come and celebrate his birthday, but Rhodey denied, saying he didn’t want to piss off anyone just yet.

And so Tony danced, and drank, and ended up having sex with a girl whose name he didn’t know in the men’s bathroom. And the next morning he woke up as he usually did, with a horrible hangover, in a bed that wasn’t his own, with a man and a woman he didn’t remember going home with.

September 15, 1992.

After a few too many scandals and a lot of meetings and deadlines forgotten, Obie insisted that Tony needed a personal assistance, personally interviewing and selecting five candidates for the future CEO of Stark Industries to choose. One of them was Pepper Potts. The minute Tony entered the room for his interview with her, she severely reprimanded him on his lateness and told him, without hesitation, that she was the best of the best and she would not, under any circumstances, sleep with him. I’m here to do a job, Mr. Stark, she said, shoulders back, head high and back straight, and that job is to make sure you at least resemble a functioning human being so if we’re going to work together, this will be the last time you arrive late at a previously scheduled meeting, do we understand one another? Tony, of course, hired her on the spot.

It was Pepper’s second month working for Tony and she had only threatened to murder him four times (I make your schedule, Mr. Stark, I can make it look like an accident, don’t think I can’t) which, all in all, was as good as it could be. Thanks to her efficiency, Tony missed less meetings and deadlines (because not even the great Pepper Potts could turn Tony Stark into a complete functioning human) and became more productive and less erratic. He was getting better, feeling more like himself with each passing day, and starting to believe that life could, in fact, be normal again. And that was, of course, when everything came crushing down.

It was a clouded morning and Tony was, as usual, tinkering away in his workshop. He’d spent the night trying to solve a particularly difficult problem with a missile he’d recently designed for SI. The lack of sleep and food (he didn’t even remember the last time he’d eaten something) were making him tired and irritated, which did not bode well for poor DUM-E, who was in time out, standing in a corner with a cone of shame on his head, having been sent there after he tried to feed Tony a smoothie full of motor oil and bananas.

Tony was so focused on the task at hand that he didn’t even hear the door to the workshop opening, or the clicking sound of Pepper’s heels on the cold floor. She called him three times, without any answer, before she reached him and snapped her fingers in front of his face. He slowly blinked twice, looking very annoyed with the interruption.

“I thought we were at lockdown over here. JARVIS?” he asked, turning on his chair.

“I’m afraid Miss Potts has the code that overrides the lockdown protocol, sir”, His AI responded with a hint of humor in his voice.

“I have someone here who wants to talk to you…”

“Busy, Pepper, I’m busy…”

“She says you two slept together and now she’s pregnant.” Pepper continued, completely ignoring Tony. “She’s been calling me for weeks, but this time she threatened to call the press and tell them you’re refusing to…”

“…they always say that, you know that, I don’t understand why…”

“…acknowledge your child and this could become a PR nightmare…”

“…you keep insisting on bothering me when I’m clearly busing changing the world over here…”

“…so please, just take five minutes, go upstairs and fix this because I’m not your babysitter, Mr. Stark…”

“…and it’s like you don’t even listen to me, really, Miss Potts…”

“TONY!” Pepper said firmly, giving Tony a look that means business. “Upstairs. Right now.”

Without much of a choice, but with a very exaggerated roll of his eyes, Tony got up, throwing his red screwdriver on the table and walking towards the stairs, Pepper right behind him.

The woman was sitting on the couch, throwing nervous looks at Happy, who kept glaring at her from a distance. Tony could not for the life in him remember her, which was a good sign. Another crazy woman after money, he thought, walking into the room. The woman got up as soon as she saw him, and Tony asked Pepper and Happy for some privacy.

“I’ll be right in the next room, boss”, said Happy, giving the woman one last glare before Pepper, rolling her eyes, grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room.

Tony sat down beside the woman. “You don’t remember me, do you?” she asked, an incredulous look on her face.

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning”.

“You didn’t have any breakfast, sir”, JARVIS intervened, “The last time you ate something other than blueberries was 16 hours ago”.

Tony rolled his eyes fondly at his AI’s tone of disapproval. “So, who are you again?”

The woman looked incredibly offended when she answered. “I’m Diana. We met last month at the Firefighter’s benefit Stark Industries threw. You were drunk and we had sex in the balcony”, she explained.

THAT he remembered. Suddenly, Tony’s mind was filled with moans and the very distinctive image of licking a bird tattoo near a perky tanned ass. “Right. Diana. And you’re pregnant now, right? And what, I’m just supposed to believe that?”

Diana, now looking thoroughly pissed, opened her purse and took a piece of paper, almost shoving it in Tony’s face. “Here’s the blood test. I’ll be happy to do another one with a doctor you choose. AND a paternity test, of course”.

Tony took the piece of paper, reading the words, but not fully comprehending them. This is new, he thought while Diana sat there, looking awfully smug. The women who claimed they’re pregnant with his child usually didn’t bring a blood test. And, when told they would have to go through a paternity test, would normally cry and accuse Tony of being a terrible, horrible man for not believing them. So, naturally, the fact that Diana was apparently ready to take any test Tony saw fit slightly worried him.

“What are you doing right now? My assistant can get you an appointment with a doctor so you can take the necessary tests”.

“Right now? Perfect. The sooner we confirm this, the better”, Diana answered, getting up. Tony got up as well and Pepper appeared at the door, looking professional as always.

“JARVIS said you needed me”.

“Yes”, he answered, running his hand through his hair, “see if you can make an appointment for Diana here, so we can check the facts”.

“Already done it, Mr. Stark. Happy is waiting outside to take her to the clinic. I’ll be accompanying her”.

Tony had never been more grateful for Pepper’s efficiency. “Thank you, miss Potts”.

Diana nodded her head towards Tony, saying a quiet goodbye and leaving the room with Pepper. As soon as they were off sight, Tony let himself fall on the couch, head on his hands, and a worried expression on his face. All he could do now was wait.

[chinuppoppins]

A fic where tandy meets ty's parents?

Oh of course!

The tap at his window and loud and quick. Tyrone stands quickly from his desk to see Tandy on the other side of the window, soaking wet and full of dirt, but still beautiful as ever. Tyrone takes a deep breath and opens up the window. The blonde gives him a grateful smile as he helps her through. “What happened to you?” He pokes, wondering if he really wants the answer to that question.

“Well,” She begins as she starts toward his draws. “I was on my way back to see my mom-”

Tyrone listens as she begins to look through his clothes. “How is she by the way?”

Tandy turns to him, her eyes full of venom- yet somehow soft. “Shitty, she’s in a shit mood, can you blame her?” Tyrone shakes his head no, following her toward the bathroom. “So I’m walking toward the trailer park when suddenly the heavens open and unleash a fucking tidal wave onto me- sorry for the language, and then some asshole in a fucking G-Wagon covers me with mud so-” A sweet smile graced her lips. “Can I use your shower?”

At this point, he wonders why she even asks. He extends his arm as a ‘go for it’ gesture before going back to his studies.

Tyrone is about twenty minutes into his homework when he hears a knock at the his bedroom door. He looks over at the closed bathroom door for a moment before going to answer. It’s his mom of course and her face just reads annoyance. “Ty, can I please use your bathroom to finish getting ready. I stepped out of mine for one second and your father took it over.”

Tyrone’s heart drops into his stomach and he tries to hide his panic as he shakes his head. “No, um no you can’t right now, it’s a hot mess in there and I am just so embarrassed of the state that it is in, so no, you can’t use it.”

His mom wasn’t playing. Her lips went thin and her brows narrowed. “Son, Anna was just here yesterday to clean the house, how would your bathroom get that messy that quick?”

“Mud.” He answers, nodding his head quickly.

“Mud?” Adina repeats.

Tyrone isn’t very good a lying, he in fact sucks at it. Almost everyone sees through it, Tandy and his mom happened to be the masters of seeing through it. “Yeah, it’s really muddy in there right now.”

Adina rubs her temples and shakes her head. “I swear Tyrone- Anna said last time she cleaned your tub, it was filthy with some kind of leaves in it. If you went and did that again, I-”

“Do you have a spare toothbrush? Mine seems to have seen the street filth armageddon.” It doesn’t take his mom a beat as she pushes to door open to see a blonde girl standing in her son’s room in a towel. She didn’t see this girl walk through the front door, or had she ever met her before. “Ty?”

She finally looks up to see what made him go silent. Tandy clutches the towel a bit tighter around her chest. “Oh shit.” She squeaks. “Oh, uh- Hi Mrs. Johnson.”

Tyrone had to give it to her, for at least attempting to put the charm on. Adina looks as if she is about to explode though and for once, he senses a different kind of fear in Tandy. “You two, downstairs- I am getting your father, Tyrone.”

“Can I get dressed first?” Tandy asks, unsure if she should even move.

“Yes.” It is harsh and Tandy dashes back to the bathroom, quickly putting on a shirt of his and some sweatpants. “She’s scary.” She comments as they jog down the stairs, running her hands through her wet hair.

“She thinks we were having, well, she thinks we are-” Tyrone’s voice is still shaking, above a whisper.

“Having sex, yeah, I know Ty.”

The back of his neck feels hot as they sit across from his parents, even more so when his dad holds back a laugh. “So you must be Evita?”

Tyrone’s words are caught in his throat, he never really got to telling his parents the end result of Evita, being back to trying to be friends because of the girl sitting next to him. “No,” She speaks. “Ah, no I’m Tandy.” She nods slowly, tapping her fingers together. “My dad named me after his first computer so, that’s where the name comes from.”

Adina shakes her head and glares at her husband. “So, Tyrone, either you owe Evita a explanation or you moved on pretty quickly. What is it?”

“Uh,” Tyrone begins. “Evita and I have been done for a few weeks, it just didn’t work out.” His eyes move to Tandy who was attempting her best at eye contact. “But Tandy and I are just friends, alright? She was in a tight spot so I let her use my shower. Nothing happened.”

“Don’t you have a home, Tandy?” His mom sat forward, eyeing the teenage girl in front of her it was a showdown at its source, Adina’s tone was questioning and full of suspicion. “I’m sure your house has a fully functioning shower that you can use.”

Tandy shifts next to him, keeping composuring and Tyrone prays to whatever highpower that she doesn’t lose her cool. “Mrs. Johnson.” He is shocked when she speaks, there is respect in her voice and she’s being careful. “My situation isn’t the best. My mom has issues, even now more than ever before since her…” There is a waiver in her voice. “Boyfriend was killed. So she has been having a different guy every night over the house and I don’t feel comfortable showering there. I don’t know what these men are capable of.” Tandy doesn’t break eye contact with the older woman. “There is nothing going on between Ty and I, he is just helping me out.”

Adina’s face changes, as well as Otis’. Tandy was being honest and sincere to his parents and it was making Tyrone respect her more than he already did. “Do you have a dad, Tandy?” Otis now asks, concern on his face.

She shakes her head. “No, he died the night of the storm- when the rig blew up. So, no.”

“Oh.” His mom blinks. “Thats-” She looks over at Tyrone, a sort of understanding forming of why her son was hanging around this girl. “I am sorry to hear that.” and Tandy nods as she looks down at her hands. “However, if you ever need anything, Tandy, just ask.” Both teenagers look up in shock, not expecting this from Adina, even Otis looked taken back. “You don’t actually need to keep sneaking her around, Tyrone.”

“Actually, mom, dad, I was going to ask you if she could crash here some nights.” Tyrone suddenly interjects and suddenly, all eyes are on him. “I mean we have that guest room and we never have guests over so-”

Otis rubs the back of his neck and glances toward his wife. “How about your mom and I talk about this and we will get back to the two of you.” He nods toward his son. “Why don’t the two of you hang out here for now.”

“We were actually going to go out, get some food,” Tyrone tells him. “Maybe go play some ball.”

Adina chuckles. “Maybe Tandy would actually like to get some of her own clothes first.” She takes in the silence between the two teens. “She has clothes here, doesn’t she?” She shakes her head when she nods. “Alright, well have fun and be safe.”

The older woman watches the two go off as her husband stares at her blankly. “What?” Otis shakes his head. “I like that girl, there is something about her that just draws you in. They are good for each other. Now come on, let’s get that banquet over with.”

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

.

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

.

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

.

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

.

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

.

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

.

Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

.

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

.

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

[anotherimaginescollection]

Nik spending time with the younger Nephilim.

A/N: So, I was having some trouble with this character so the wonderful @fiercefray suggested this little drabble for me to write. So, here we are, for our Constantine fanfiction: Rising Light. Nik’s faceclaim is Daniel Gillies. 

'I got you!' Lillian cried, tugging at the back of Nik's jacket as he tried to make sure that Mikel actually ate his vegetables. The four year old was more stubborn than Kate was, at least in Nik's mind that was the case. 'You're meant to fall to the floor.'

Nik waved another bean in Mikel's face, but the boy was having none of it, before turning to Lillian. She was pouting at him, hands firmly placed on her hips. He thought that she seemed to be on the very verge of tears.

'Woah,' he said quickly, crouching to her level, 'I'm sorry.' He shot her a small smile before throwing his hand against his heart. He spluttered, too dramatically to be real, before allowing himself to fall to the floor. 'Why?' he breathed, fully collapsing to the floor.

'I did it!' Lillian cheered, earning a flurry of noise from the others.

Nik heard rather than saw the charging of the other youngsters, all of them heading towards him. A part of him was thrilled that they were taking the time to enjoy spending time with each other, knowing that they hadn't had this chance before; it warred with his irritation that they had been shunned, that it was because of fear that they had never had this chance. Another part of him, however, was momentarily worried. Did he really want to be crushed under a bunch of children?

The first of the kids fell on him, chuckling as they tried to push his hand to the floor.

'We've got you!' another voice said, Henry?, and someone tickled the back of his neck.

'Please,' panted Nik, trying to shift beneath them. He knew that it would be easy enough to get them off him, but there was something about the joy behind their voices, the way they seemed to have finally forgotten their fears, that made him not want to. 'Have mercy.'

'Shall we, fellow pirate?' asked Josie.

So they were pirates, that was something that he hadn't realised.

'Make him walk the... Anna!'

The simple name meant that suddenly Nik could breathe properly again. Everyone clambered off him, instead turning their attention to the other adult Nephilim. Some of them rushed to greet her, others stood meekly by the side, not sure how to deal with her. Nik understood that, she scared him a little occasionally with her almost stoic expression. But he knew it was just an act, a way for it not to hurt too much when the kids moved on, when they found them somewhere safer.

'You're not killing my friend are you?' she asked, surveying  a few of the older kids.

'Of course not,' said one of the older girls, Nik couldn't remember her name, assumed that she must have been new. 'We were just trying to get the treasure off him.'

'The treasure?' asked Anna, casting Nik a questioning look as he sat up, rubbing a mild ache in his shoulder.

'They mean the beans,' he said, earning a collective 'Ew!' from the children. He chuckled, waving the thing at them before offering it out to Mikel again. Once more, the toddler pushed his hand away, refusing to eat the vegetable.

Anna's heels clicked across the floor, alerting him to the fact that she was actually there to talk to him, rather than to mingle with the kids.

'You know,' she said musingly as he ruffled Mikel's hair, a gesture that meant he could go and play, 'I don't think I've seen you this happy for years.'

'Slightly dramatic,' he commented, turning to face her. She only seemed a little bit older than he was, but there were already some wrinkles appearing by her eyes, the stresses of looking after the little ones, knowing what they were going to face, obviously took it out of her more than she wanted to admit to.

'I mean it, Nicholas,' she said, a little more firmly. 'You always look so happy when you're here on days off.'

'I only come here when I have days off,' he reminded her, even though it was implied in her comment.

She heaved a sigh. 'You know, there's always -'

'I can't, Anna,' he said softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. 'I'd love to, but you know -'

'Everyone's got their role to play,' she said, somewhat bitterly. 'Well, are you here for dinner tonight?' She pulled away from him, catching Lillian by the shoulder gently and hastily tying her hair back up so that it didn't end up going in the pain again.

Nik glanced around at the children, his mind only briefly flicking to the other things that he had to do. They could wait.

'Yeah, I will,' he said, smiling as he heard a cheer from some of the children, and he spotted the small smile on Anna's face. These were the times that he longed for, the times that he hoped they'd get more of soon, rather than having to snatch them from between fear and running like they have been recently.

[amwritingmeta]

So I saw your monster meta on Monster Movie (thanks btw, it was great). One thing about that episode that bothers me is that when Dean and Sam interview Anna-Marie she’s drinking this giant soda and Sam and Dean keep giving her these weird looks (like even before she says it’s a werewolf) and I just don’t get the point of the soda. If it meant nothing it would be a part of the setting instead of a prop and if it didn’t symbolize something it wouldn’t be so freaking huge, right? Any thoughts?

Hello my lovely!! 

Aw thanks so much, that means a lot! That meta was such a labour of love and it makes me incredibly happy to read that you enjoyed it!! Yayyyy for enjoyment! :)

So this was driving me crazy too, honestly, as I watched the episode and since there was sooooo much to write anyway and I couldn’t find the fucking thread for the giant ass soda and the giant ass beer (oh yeah, I’ll show you in a minute) I just left it well alone. Buttshake, guess what - you asking me this made the visual click in my noggin’. THANK YOU!

Because Monster Movie is all about Dean, right? (well yeah according to me it is anyway and… I mean it is, even if you disagree with my reading) 

And LOOK –>

*excited face like wide grin and raised eyebrows and HAHAHA sounds*

LOOK AT THAT BIG PRETZEL MY LOVELY!

So Dean starts the trend of the Big Things Occupying Your Mouth Visual. And I’m so not sorry for calling this a “penis pretzel” anymore, because it fucking IS a visual aid to underline Dean’s dual personality: mainly that what he’s really trying to overcompensate for throughout this entire goddamn narrative is the fact that he is suddenly so fucking preoccupied with thoughts of dick, of one dick in particular. And that dick is linked to new feelings and that is SCARY AF. 

But COME ON Bob Singer, are you FOR REAL even? (I love this man)

So we get our first proper plant of Jamie saying “Gutten tag” and Dean responding with a slack-jawed “Gutten tag yourself” before exchanging a look with Sam like “Daaamnnnnn” and understandable, because Jamie is gorgeous. Sam spots the sheriff (one of our toxic masculinity representatives in this episode) and he says “Guess that’s our man” (and yes I could so go deep-diving into the feminine/masculine part of the planted visuals of this scene)…

…but let’s focus on Dean, who does this –>

I will never apologise for loving it when penis shaped food in the hands of Dean Winchester are being made to look like he’s giving it a blow job. 

What is all that fast food really about, Dean. Hmmmm? 

Anyway. Here’s the beautiful part. It is not just the penis pretzel that is a phallic symbol in this episode’s visual narrative.

Ed drinks beer from this –>

Yeah. This beer drove me crazy when I watched the episode again and again to write my meta, staring at this fucking scene without being able to actually visually tie it to Dean. It’s his narrative so I just felt there HAD to be a fucking reason for this being here - it is so OVERTLY phallic, and it did not click that the penis pretzel started out huge.

(subtle plant there for Cas’ package?) (or Dean’s desire for said package) 

Ok, it’s actually not sexual, sorry, must not joke (am so tired) - the phallic symbols are actually to do with Dean’s building fear at losing control of himself. The symbolism is here to push the theme of the narrative and is interestingly tying Dean to the man being judged by the sheriff as a nuisance, but empathised with by Jamie (who represents everything Dean needs to embrace to feel whole) 

But there is more! The root of your question, my dear! 

Because I bid you LOOK –>

That, my friends, is a blow job.

So here Dean is also linked (through starting the trend of Big Things Occupying Your Mouth Visual) with the girl giving this soda the time of its life. The girl who is a victim of her lying scumbag boyfriend. 

Or to be more specific, her toxic-masculinity-lies-to-get-in-bed-using-a-dated-ridiculous-line-of-how-men-need-sex-not-to-get-clogged-up-this-show-is-all-about-desconstructing-that-bullshit-sexist-idiocy-and-this-toxic-masculinity-representative-gets-fucking-killed-by-a-werefolf boyfriend. 

To summarise, Dean is linked to the guy who’s considered “weird”, a guy who is judged for it, and Dean is linked to the girl who is a victim of toxic masculinity. 

Yeah. That’s right. Like betcha by golly wow.

With the phallic plants, it’s like the narrative is taunting Dean for trying to overcompensate away from what’s stirring inside him, the way he can’t get Cas out of his head, by throwing the phallic symbols at him after he ate his penis pretzel completely unawares of this being what he was doing, subconsciously engaging with what he really wants while ogling Jamie and making a show of really, really wanting a girl. 

To me this is actually not about him being uncomfortable with his bisexuality. It has everything to do with him being absolutely averse to (because of his upbringing) and terrified by (because of his life history) the thought of feeling things too deeply. And whatever shit Cas is stirring up has the potential of being life changing. And Dean Winchester does not want to change an inch. So dude-bro performing side is kicking up a right fuss going PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY. (Dean’s subconscious whispering dick dick dick)

Oh my God my brain is fried, I wish I could be more articulate for you, but do you get what I’m saying here?

Dean’s the one with dick on the brain - in the most romantic sense of the word - and, at least how I see it, these visuals serve as a very subtle way of informing us of that.

Bob Singer is such a fucking master.

And thanks again and again for focusing me with this question! You just helped me deepen my 4x05 meta! *heart eyes your way*

Oh, let me add this as well: how can we know the beer and the humungous soda aren’t just, idk, for funsies? To me the answer is - the way Ed and Girl drink them. Ed drinks from that huuuuuge cumbersome thing twice and very deliberately, while Girl slurps and slurps and slurps. I mean… It’s only funny if you’re in on the joke and those visual plants don’t make me laugh, they make me frown and wonder why the hell they’re even there. So that’s my reason for thinking they are planted as more than just a visual woah-big-things-should-seem-ridiculous-for-no-reason-and-make-you-giggle. :)

xx

[ericjuneau]

Reprise (Chapter 39) [Frozen/Tangled/The Little Mermaid]

CHAPTER 39: Paying Off Debts

Boats stretched across the mighty fjord, facing outward. Each flew the dual flags of the Southern Isles and Weselton. Hans's flagship held behind the blockade, barely visible.

"Do you think this is going to work?" Ariel asked Rapunzel who steered.

"If Elsa believes it will work, I think so. She's confident enough of our powers."

At the bow, Elsa held a telescope to her eye. She stood like the maidenhead of the ship they were on.

"I just hope she's confident about hers."

Above the bowsprit was a gigantic copper cone, manned by an ensign. The wide end pointed at them, making them think it was some kind of cannon. But it was a megaphone, as they discovered when the captain spoke into it.

"Approaching vessel, lower your emblem and raise the white flag to signal your intent to surrender." The voice warbled across the water, echoing and distorting the words.

Ariel stepped up beside Elsa. "Isn't that cute? They think I'm going to surrender," Elsa said to her.

The opposing captain waited for them to make an intention toward the flagpole. When enough time had passed, he declared "Approaching vessel, signal your surrender."

Ariel raised her trident. "I can make your voice louder."

Elsa grinned and nodded.

"No." Her voice carried with the same volume and weight as Hans's.

"Queen Elsa, this doesn't have to be a bloodbath. Anchor your boat and we'll board you. We'll make this nice and quick."

"Remove your vessels from Arendelle waters," Elsa said. "Or we'll remove them for you."

The captain talked to someone at his side, then returned. "You can't seriously think you're going to overcome two combined navies. You have no armada."

"I have no armada?" Elsa said. She raised her hands. "I AM the armada."

Dark clouds crawled in from the edges of the horizon, surrounding their little section of ocean. A pelting ice rain fell, churning the waters and soaking all sailors to the bone with ice coldness. They could hear the distress from here.

"Cease this immediately or we will open fire. You've given us no choice."

Elsa nodded to Ariel. Her trident stopped glowing as the magic surrounding her voice ceased. "No choice? I'll show you what it's like to have no choice," Elsa muttered. "Full sail."

Ariel and Rapunzel scattered across the ship, readying sails and ropes. Ariel shot a beam into the water, creating a firm wave that pushed them forward. Rapunzel hooked her hair across riggings and swung to each mast, letting out the sails to their maximum spread.

Cannons boomed through the hazy mist of the cold rain. They fell short of the bow.

"Ariel, need you at the front. Rapunzel-"

"I got it," she shouted from the crow's nest, where she already was. "Three-quarters north by northwest."

As Rapunzel called out the location of the next ships to open their cannonade, Elsa focused her attention. Giant icicles dropped out of the clouds, falling in slow motion onto the ships. The icicles exploded into shards as sailors ejected off deck. One ship careened onto its side, already halfway sunk, as the two next to it rocked back and forth.

More cannons. Their whistling call narrowed the gap, prickling their hairs on their necks. Ariel shot the closest. The iron globe disintegrated in a ball of gold light. Another exploded out. Ariel shot that too.

Elsa dropped three more icicles on ships near Hans's. Like divine angels of retribution descending the heavens. They fell as slow as molasses, giving the enemy time to ponder their fate.

"Northwest," Rapunzel shouted. She lassoed the crow's nest crossbar and swung down to the deck, rejoining her two friends. "They're pulling away."

"But Hans's ship is still there- whoop!" Ariel caught sight of a cannon ball mere yards away before destroying it. "It's harder to spot them in time." A boom to the left. Ariel had to fire three times before hitting it.

"No one hurts my friends." Elsa spread out her arms, controlling the storm, the icicles, and now, the snowballs knocking the cannonballs off course. Lead shot crashed into them with an awful tinkling sound.

The temperature around Elsa dropped suddenly enough to make Rapunzel shiver. She looked at Elsa. Her eyes were white. Frost was dripping down her outstretched arms.

"Elsa, be careful," Rapunzel said. "You're using too much power."

This was what she was afraid of. Elsa's power was their best chance at surviving. But that meant putting herself at risk to become a heartless monster again. Rapunzel tugged at Elsa's arm.

"Power? I'll show them power," Elsa said.

A line of icicles stabbed out of the frothing water, trailing towards the ship left of Hans. They speared the boat through its belly.

"Elsa. Stop, you're going to lose control," Rapunzel said.

"She can't stop," Ariel said. "We're too close. They'll kill us."

"One time," Elsa said, cradling a deep breath. "I cut off a horse's tail when I was little. Just out of curiosity."

Ariel and Rapunzel looked at each other.

"I wrote a love letter to the stable boy," Elsa said. "I didn't tell him who I was. I told him I'd meet him behind the fountains at midnight. But I was too scared and never showed up."

Her white eyes faded back down to her normal blue ones.

"When I was nine, I got sick the day they were painting our yearly portrait and I threw up all over Anna and mom. I can't read books where there's a dog, because I'm too afraid the dog will die."

It was working. Whether by whim of the storm or not, Hans's escort vessels angled away, leaving his ship alone.  

"One time I was really mad at Anna and I called her stupid and fat and sloppy when she was being really obnoxious and wouldn't leave me alone. I never apologized to her. Sometimes I faked being sick just so I could get attention from mom and dad. I was always in my room, so it was the only way to get them to stay with me."

Between the pelting rain, the cannons, the ice chunks and trident blasts, chaos swirled around them. Rapunzel ran to the wheel. Ariel used her trident to summon a wall of cascading water on both sides of the ship. The force of the flow would curtail any close shots. But it had the side-effect of closing their view to only the destination ahead.

Elsa stood before the storm, tears like needles in her eyes from the stinging wind.

"I thought about suicide a lot. Like, a lot. Both before Mom and Dad died and after. It would have been easier on everyone if I just hadn't existed. All I did was cause trouble. I stole a kitchen knife, but my dad found it hidden in my dresser drawer and took it away. He never told anyone about it. But I didn't need it. I could have stabbed myself with an icicle. I thought about tying the bed sheets into a noose and jumping out the window. I didn't want to live if I was going to stay in my room for the rest of my life. But when I was going to become queen it got... worse and better. I had something to live for again, but I had to do it alone. I was always alone. I was always-"

"Elsa!" Ariel shouted.

Elsa stopped talking. She saw Ariel below her, holding her hand. Rapunzel was next to her.

"We're through," she said.

Elsa looked around. The sky was bright blue, with the expanse of water before them. No ships, no armada. No Hans.

"Are you okay?" Ariel asked gently.

"It was the only way to keep my heart from freezing," Elsa said. "I had to keep it open." She wiped her eyes.

Rapunzel embraced her cousin in a hug. Ariel joined in.

"I don't want to do that again," Elsa said, sobbing.

"No, no, you don't have to do that again," Rapunzel replied.

"I don't think I could do that again," she said with a half-laugh. "It's just... it's just too much."

"How do you feel?" Ariel asked.

"Like scum," Elsa said.

"Hey." Rapunzel took Elsa's face in her hands. "We still love you. We will never stop loving you. You don't need to be forgiven."

"We all have had terrible things in our lives. Terrible things we've thought about," Ariel said.

"When Mother said I could never leave the tower, I had some really dark thoughts that time," Rapunzel said.

"And I don't know what I'd do if I never got to see the human world," Ariel said. "But it's all past you now, right?"

"Yeah." Elsa stood up straight. "Unless we don't get to that bomb. Then it'll be nothing but the past."

She picked up her telescope. Though distant, she could distinguish Hans on deck talking to the Duke of Weselton. The smugness had been replaced with rage befitting a sociopath.

"They're heading towards us," Elsa said as she snapped the telescope closed. "Let's get ready."

Aboard Hans's flagship, they saw the blockade close in on the single galleon. They saw the storm rage in. They saw cannon fire and heavy artillery rendered useless by snowballs and light beams. They saw spouts of water churn and geyser into the air, sending all the ships distant corners away. Now they saw the galleon heading straight towards them.

Hans fingered the flintlock pistol at his shoulder. He stared at the incoming vessel, searching for a sign to give the command to fire.

But the boat continued on toward them, following the breeze. It curved and slid alongside there's. Still, not a soul had presented itself.

"What is going on?" The Duke of Weselton asked. "It's a ghost ship?"

"There are no ghosts," Hans said.

Once the ship had pulled alongside theirs--only a few yards distance between siderails--it suddenly halted. The wind vanished and the water below became as still as a pane of glass. Neither of their boats were going to move for a while.

"Sorcery," the duke said.

"Of course it's sorcery," Hans said. "That doesn't mean we can't defeat it. And it definitely means someone's in control." To the officers beside him, he said, "Send all but the most essential men over. Search everywhere. This boat didn't sail itself."

The officer nodded. He shouted orders and soon a large contingent gathered on deck. Men lowered three long planks as bridges between the two ships.

The leader of the search party crossed first and shouted, "We know you're here, girls. Come out and show yourselves."

Only the stillness.

Men scattered around the deck, expecting to see someone at the wheel, rudder control, a sailing master, a gunner. But not even a swabbie could be seen.

The lead officer blinked his eyes. To his second-in-command, he appeared frozen in thought. "Sir?"

"I... sorry, I thought I just saw them."

"Where?"

"... nowhere. I just... I feel like they're right in front of me. But I..."

Ahead of them lay nothing but air and the storage compartment on the quarterdeck.

"I feel it too," the second-in-command said. "It must be our instincts telling us we're on the right track. Let's keep searching."

The officer shouted. "Proceed below deck. Leave nothing unturned or unopened." The officer rested his hand on his cutlass's hilt and proceeded onward.

"I think it's working," Rapunzel whispered as the two officers moved further down the deck. She fastened her grips on Ariel and Elsa's hands.

"It's like they see us, but they don't see us," Ariel said. "We were standing right in front of him."

"Do we need to whisper?" Elsa asked. "If they couldn't see us, they couldn't hear us too."

The three of them switched from looking at the sailors invading their ship to the planks. Ariel held Rapunzel's hand with one of her own. The other gripped the crystal glowing contented blue to her chest. Elsa kept her fingers around Ariel's wrists.

"Let's go aboard," she said.

Rapunzel led the three of them across the plank to Hans's ship. No one noticed them. Hans and the duke stood on the quarterdeck, staring at the Barefoot Maiden, waiting for something to happen. The only other people aboard were three men surrounding something against the wall of the gun deck.

"That's Hans?" Ariel whispered to Rapunzel. "I see why Anna fell for him."

Elsa stood in front of the guards, trying to look between them to see what they were guarding.

"Captain!" said the one in front.

Hans turned to him. He did a double-take, but said nothing.

The guard looked sheepish. "There's... I... er, nothing. Sorry."

Ariel and Rapunzel looked at each other. "That was close."

Elsa unstilled herself and stood on tiptoe. Behind them stood a small, innocuous barrel. The word "DANGER" was stenciled in white on the lid. A temperature gauge, like one would find in a turkey, was stuck through the lid.

"That must be it," she said. "How can we get it? I know no one can see or hear us, but does touch could break the spell?"

"Could we use the trident?" Rapunzel asked Ariel.

"What if it blows up?" she responded.

Another of the guards lifted his hands. "There! I see... I mean... no... never mind."

"What? What is it?" Hans asked impatiently.

"It's just. I thought I saw the queen and her cohorts standing right there."

Hans swept his eyes back and forth. He was looking right at the three of them, but didn't know it.

"It's like they're ghosts. It's giving me prickles on the back of my neck," said a guard.

Ariel giggled. The crystal in her hand pulsed once.

"There is something strange going on here," Hans said. He wandered off to confer with the duke.

The left guard reached out his hand, feeling for something that wasn't there. His fingertips came inches from Elsa's nose. She leaned back as far as she could without losing the morimema's protection.

"They're getting wise. We need to do this fast," Elsa said behind her teeth.

"All three at once," Ariel said.

"I got the left, Elsa the right, Ariel--center," Rapunzel said. "One-two-three-GO."

Elsa raised her hand. A pillar of ice rose from the deck, elevating the rightmost guard above the deck. The guard shouted "whoa" and lost his balance. Elsa extended the top of the pillar into a long sheaf of ice. He slid down, somersaulting all the way, and fell into a square hole below deck.

At the same time, Rapunzel bashed her guard in the helmet with her frying pan. He toppled over, chin first. She lassoed his legs with her hair, then whipped him to the other end of the boat.

The guard in the middle started thrusting out his spear at random points in space. "Begone, demons!

Ariel parried it with the trident tucked under her arm. She caught its pointed end between the tines, spun it once, then threw it into the air. The guard was still watching it drift upwards when she blasted the ground below him. The shockwave cast him in the same direction as the spear.

Ariel watched him careen over the side of the ship, ending in a resounding splash. As she smiled, the spear landed, knocking into her hand. Surprise made her jump back, which made her lose grip on the morimema.

The crystal fell to the deck where it shattered into a million tiny glittering pieces. Its blue glow faded instantly, giving the debris the appearance of sand.

"Uh-oh," Ariel said. The three of them looked up.

Prince Hans was standing behind them. So was the Duke of Weselton, holding out a sword. Hans aimed a flintlock pistol.

"I knew it. I knew it was some trick," Hans said. "One of your little ice and water shows."

"I'll give you an ice show," Elsa said, preparing to raise his hands.

Hans brandished his pistol.  "Uh-uh. Keep your precious little gloves on. You too, princesses. I know all about your magic hair and your trident." Hans glowered.

"You know you're working with a dark sorcerer now," Ariel said.

"He must be getting desperate if now he's working with the likes of you," Rapunzel said.

"If that's what it takes, fine. He was the only one that came to me when I'd hit rock bottom. I was rotting in a swamp, watching over pitiful peasants."

"And what did he promise you?" Ariel asked. "A kingdom of your own? Treasure and jewels? Revenge on all your enemies?"

"And then some," Hans said.

"Just take me," Elsa said, stepping forward. "I'm the one you want. I'm the one that wronged you."

"What? Oh, you didn't think I cared about 'protecting' Arendelle, did you?"

"You plunged our countries into war!" Ariel shouted. "You killed how many dozens, maybe hundreds of people just to get your share? How could you do that?"

"I'm a chameleon," Hans said with pride. "I adapt to any situation to make people feel comfortable. Comfortable enough to give me what I want."

"Even if it costs your soul?" Rapunzel asked.

Hans grimaced. "You'd never know unless you were me, how it feels to receive the dregs of everything. I don't care who I have to deal with. I didn't choose to be the lastborn of the Westergaards. But I'm not going to let that determine my fate."

"Wait, what?" Ariel said. "Your last name is Westergaard?" She muttered to herself as she eyed the ground. "Westergaard, Westergaard, where have I heard that name."

"In the grotto!" Rapunzel said. "All those debt notices."

"What are you talking about?" Hans asked. "That debt was paid off. It took decades, but it was paid."

Rapunzel pointed at him. "Except the documents were all forgeries. At least that's what the letter said. It said the coat of arms didn't match the year the ledgers were written."

"Someone was going to a banquet to prove it, but the ship must have sunk," Ariel said.

"The spymaster..." Hans finished.

"That's right."

"Everyone in my family knows that story. Three generations ago, the kingdom was in debt up to its ears. It seemed to come out of nowhere. And you-"

Before Hans could turn, the duke grabbed the gun out of his hand and pointed it at him. "Now, now, let's not be hasty here. We have an alliance now. The debt's paid off."

"A debt we never owed you in the first place," Hans said, scowling.

"Well, come on. That was years ago," the duke said. "You don't seriously... expect... all right now, back off." He brandished his gun. "This may only have one bullet, but none of you want to be the one who gets it, eh?"

Rapunzel's eyebrows raised, but she said nothing. She stepped behind Ariel and Rapunzel, letting them hold the conversation.

"If you really forged those documents, there'll be proof of that. We keep much better records now."

"And won't your family be proud that you've solved the case, hm? Then where am I? You think Weselton can pay that all back? Do you think I was in Arendelle a year ago, trying to find their trade secrets for fun?"

"As soon as I get back to the Southern Isles, I'm finding those documents. I'm sure they're in the royal archive. And we'll find out the real truth."

"Then I'll have to make sure you never get back to the Southern Isles." He raised the gun. "Any last words?"

Hans stood stunned, unbelieving his partner would shoot him.

"I do, actually," Rapunzel said, stepping forward. "Just one question. Have you looked at your left shoulder lately?"

"My what?"

The duke turned his head to his left shoulder, as Rapunzel expected. This distracted him from his right shoulder, where Pascal actually was. The lizard darted out his tongue and stuck it in his ear.

The duke shrieked. The gun fired, emitting a puff of smoke, then he dropped it.

Ariel shot her trident at the duke's feet. The lightning bolt impacted and sent the Duke of Weselton rocketing off, arcing against the blue sky. He landed somewhere far away in the water with a distant plop.

Pascal turned cartwheels in the air. Rapunzel rushed up and caught the chameleon in her soft hands. "Are you okay?"

His eyes spun, but he gave a thumbs-up with his three flat toes.

"Find shelter," Rapunzel whispered. She set him on the deck and ran to the two others.

"Is everyone all right?" Elsa asked, patting her body for bullet holes. Rapunzel and Ariel did the same, as if searching for where they left their keys.

"Does anyone hear that hissing?" Ariel asked.

They followed their ears to the source. The barrel was emitting a geyser of smoke from a crack where the bullet had grazed it. The temperature gauge's needle was climbing towards the red zone.

"That can't be good," Rapunzel said.

All three knelt in front of the barrel. Three small locks latched the lid.

"Blast it!" Ariel said. She pointed her trident.

Rapunzel stuck her hand between her and the box. "No, that could set it off! Let's throw it overboard," Rapunzel suggested.

"It's strong enough to destroy a city. I don't think that's going to save us," Elsa said. "Hans, how does this thing work?"

They looked around the deck. "Hans?"

Something clunked against the side of the ship. The three ran to see Hans pulleying the longboat into the water.

"I'm not through with you yet, Duke," he said as the dinghy landed. He detached the ropes and started rowing away.

"Coward," Elsa muttered.

They returned to the barrel. The needle was seconds away from the red zone.

"We've got to do something," Elsa said. "We can't just sit here. Throwing it in the water won't help. Destroying it won't help. I can't freeze it, I don't know what's inside."

"This is just what he wanted," Rapunzel muttered. "For us to call him for help."

"Who?" Ariel asked.

"Arcius. He could turn back time, get us out of this mess, if we agree to help him."

"He started this mess in the first place," Elsa grunted. "I won't give him the satisfaction. I'd rather it explode. I'd rather be destroyed than..." she paused. "Your hair! It's indestructible."

"That's right!" Ariel said.

"Guys, I don't know if it's that indestructible," Rapunzel said.

"Do we have any other options?"

Rapunzel smoothed out a swath of her hair. Elsa and Ariel wrapped it around the barrel like a yarn ball. "Cover it. There can't be any square inch exposed."

They continued wrapping it was taut. A faint whistling began from under the pillows of yellow thread.

"If we can still hear it, does that mean it's tight enough?"

"It needs more," Elsa said. She shot her magic at the ball of crumpled hair. Blue ice formed a jagged meteorite around it. The ice chunk began to vibrate.

"Oh no you don't," Ariel said. She fired her trident. A translucent golden shield enveloped the lump, which began to rise in the air.

It trembled like a fluttering dandelion. Elsa and Rapunzel turned away. Ariel shut her eyes.

The ice ball stopped trembling. It fell to the ground.

Elsa touched the ball of ice she had made. Wispy snowflakes fluttered away like escaping fireflies. When they unraveled it all, the only thing left was smears of black soot, which wiped away easily.

"We did it," Rapunzel said. She shouted into the air. "You hear that Arcius? We did it! We did-"

There was a sound like tearing cloth.

"What was that?" Ariel asked.

"There," Elsa pointed. "Do you see it?" She leaned to the left and the right.

In the space before them, part of the air was sliced and torn. Like the world was made of canvas and been slit by a vandal. Jagged edges marked the fissure. Everything within the tear was the same as its opposite side, though slightly askew.

"What is that?" Rapunzel asked.

Ariel poked her trident through. It emerged to the left as if refracted in a glass of water. "It's like a rip in the world," Ariel said.

"Or a rip in time," Elsa said.

"Should we go through it?" Rapunzel asked.

As suddenly as it appeared, the rip closed. Another appeared, right next to Elsa. She jumped back, colliding with Ariel who caught her. Inside this one, the day was darker. The seas roiled pea green.

"I think we should get out of here," Elsa said as she backed away.

The rip closed. Another appeared on the opposite side of them. Then it closed. Another opened even closer.

The three of them ran back to the upper deck. They had little recourse as the fissures were pushing them away from their ship. As Elsa reached the upper deck, she heard a feminine "whoop"

"Rapunzel?" Elsa turned to her. "Rapunzel, are you all right?"

No answer. The world was shredding itself to pieces around them.

"She disappeared," Ariel said. "She ran right into it."

Elsa and Ariel reached for each other's hands. "Maybe we should stay still."

More appeared around them--thin lacerations winking in and out of existence, each in a different spot. How long would this last?

Ariel dropped. A hole in space appeared under her. Elsa lost her grip--she expected Ariel to be taken from the side, not under.

"Ariel!" Elsa got down on hands and knees and shouted into the hole. No sign of her. The warped space sealed.

Now she was on the ship. All alone.

Another rip appeared in front of her. She didn't wait. She jumped in.