#type of relationship that is so toxic but in a sexy way and also youre both women in your 30s

[morninkim]

Rise of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Non-Canon) - Madame Drakkon & The Ranger Slayer

In another timeline, the Rise of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was much, much less of a rise.

(Rise' World of the Coinless deets under the cut, i'm having fun)

In another timeline, Rita's attack on Grace Oliver left her severely injured and near death. This threw Tommy into a fit, which forced the shadow out of her body in an incredibly traumatic and painful manner. Desperate, she pleaded with Zordon to help her mother, but the White Light confirmed her fears. Grace was gone.

Unstable and still reeling from Rita being ripped from her body, Tommy would seek out where the shadow was hiding, tracking her down to an abandoned warehouse on the docks. She would witness the partial resurrection of Lord Zedd and barge in, demanding the Dark Spectre bring her mother back. The Spectre agreed, on the condition that the Green Ranger help him recover the other five Power Coins and reunite the Zeo Crystal.

Over the next few months, Tommy would slowly lose more and more of herself as she pursued more power and learned dark magic from a weakened Rita inhabiting the body of Dr. Finster. A final assault against the Rangers would see Jason attempt to combine the spectrum of the team's powers to become a White Ranger, only to be struck down by Tommy. She would claim the coins for herself, corrupting and forcing the coins into her own White Ranger form.

Zedd and Tommy, with their combined powers and now endless source of energy, would then conquer the Earth unopposed. But as more time went on without Zedd's promise fulfilled, the more Tommy began plotting to overthrow the Dark Spectre. She's be encouraged by Rita, now unable to leave Dr. Finster's deteriorating body and kept alive with salvaged parts from the destroyed Command Center.

As the last of Earth's defenders fell, Tommy struck down Zedd with the Black Dragon Saber, laying claim to his seventh Zeo Crystal shard and the planet and taking the name Madame Drakkon.

Years later, tired of her friends being captured or dying and at her wit's end, Kimberly Hart would decide today is the day Drakkon dies. But she would be captured, her mind taken over with a spell Drakkon had been perfecting for some time, and become her right hand with her old Power Coin as the Slayer Ranger.

Kimberly would later break the spell with the help of the Coinless Resistance, who'd been built by the combined efforts of Trini, Richie, Bulk and Skull. She'd then lead the Resistance against Madame Drakkon's regime, taking on the name Ranger Slayer as a symbol of her goal to slay the last Ranger on Earth.

[black-lake]

astro observations 11

your astro granny is back, I've been doing this for so long omg. some of it is venting, like always, so ignore that, but maybe don't you may find words of wisdom there. anyway, enjoy. also warning, it escalates to heavier subjects fast 🪐 🔭

 ——

🕰️ Virgo and gemini risings can pull off any type of glasses, sunglasses, bug-eye glasses, cat-eye, mirrored ray-bans, you name it. They even look cute with goggles no joke. They also make the smart and academia aesthetics look so cool and elegant in a chaotic way, not in a taurus capricorn way but in a- 'I spilled coffee on my boss's laptop this morning and I'm still talking about it way- because omfg- did you see the way they looked at me? it's like I've done it on purpose or smth but I didn't, not sure if they have a crush on me or they fucking hate me, what do you think? I'm pretty sure they don't hate me tho, but I can't tell, do you think I should quit?' 🎙️🎬

🕰️ I recently looked up George Clooney's chart and omggg, it all makes sense. The moon conj saturn in capricorn, giving him that nostalgic wise aura along his taurus sun, uranus and pluto opp ascendant kind of indicating finding his perfect partner later on in life, venus in aries and mars in leo, he's fiery but that fire so damn well contained with all the earth. His asc and jupiter in aquarius, yeah only an aquarius women with so much air and intelligence can maintain his attention and lock him in lmao. His synastry with Amal Clooney reminds of that of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Manifesting a relationship like this for everyone reading 🧘🏼‍♂️✨

🕰️ Personal planets in scorpio 10° or 22° is a sexy mf combo, esp moon, venus, mars and asc, it gives bedroom eyes and seductive domineer, also godmade bone structures. 🗿

🕰️ Pluto opposite or square ascendant, a very classic aspect for friends/coworkers/admirers/people in general turning enemies and talking shit behind your back. This aspect can easily make people speculate, overanalyze your actions, assume things, spread rumors and lies about you out of jealousy and intimidation. 

🕰️ Any planet conjunct the desc can bring the physical manifestation to that planet's shadow side, up to 10°. It can conceal traits of that planet in the sign it’s in, as it’s descending and escaping the sun’s light. Pluto on the desc brings a few shadow traits out of people and conceals their true intentions from the native. So the native has to face those traits, learn to see them from miles away, to discern what people’s intentions are and whether it's that or their own perception and fears. In other words, they start from naive to paranoid to bs detectors, and it takes a long painful journey to get there.

🕰️ Even tho personal planets on the desc are much easier to see and handle, venus on the descendant can bring shallow traits and empty promises out of people, mars on the descendant, not as easy, can bring out anger, toxic masculinity and aggression. Saturn on the desc can bring immaturity, irresponsibility, immoral and disloyal behaviors out of people, stagnation, delays in connection and loneliness, pushing the native to learn patience and endurance. The native will meet people with such traits over and over again until they learn to spot and discern them faster and take the right action. ☔️

🕰️ I’ll keep talking about it in this blog cuz it’s always been one of my biggest challenges. What I learned with pluto on the desc is that you will keep attracting the same kind of enemies to challenge you if you don’t own your power and stop diluting yourself for someone else's fragile power hungry ego, because people will have a problem with you anyway. Also don’t hold too tight to anyone, never be afraid to lose people, because trust me you will. Almost no one is meant to stay in your life, they’re meant to transform you and leave. The only thing you’re meant to rely on is your power and independence. The moment you see it the easier cutting ppl off becomes. 

🕰️ I have venus in aries and I find myself always having a girl crush on celebs with this placement, Rihanna, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, Jennifer Aniston. They all seem to share that fiery independence mixed with a childlike but fierce demeanor which I admire, plus they never age. 🐈‍⬛

🕰️ I have mercury in aries and mars in scorpio, but for some reason I’m fascinated by people with mercury in aquarius and mars in sagittarius, with mercury in aqua I always expect something fascinating about their minds but I can't guess it cuz it's always different, but females with mars in sag omggg the sass is hilarious, I can’t help but laugh when they get blunt, loud and shady out of nowhere lmfao.

🕰️ Speaking of placements I’m fascinated by, what’s the deal with moon in taurus? I keep thinking it must be… nice.. to have? people that have it are so grounded and serene it makes me think it’s the best moon sign. If you have it please share the emotional difficulties you experience, because I can speak of every moon sign emotional traumas in detail but for some reason I be romanticizing this one. ☕️

🕰️ Another placement I really admire is moon conjunct saturn, there’s just something unspeakable, that isn’t tangible (even tho they have timeless mesmerizing eyes) but on a soul level I can sense their wisdom and nostalgic aura. It’s like there’s a balance of feminine and masculine qualities which come out in their mannerisms. People that have it, Timothée Chalamet, George Clooney, River Phoenix, and every hot man ever. 

🕰️ Have you ever asked yourself why Morgan Freeman has such deep unique and easily recognizable voice? It's his mercury conj uranus in taurus. Who else has an easily recognizable voice, Kim Kardashian, mercury conj uranus in scorpio. 

🕰️ Having the axis of virgo-pisces over your sun-moon, like virgo sun opposite pisces moon, or mercury-moon can give someone a soft voice, their voice can even be therapeutic and healing. Think of Michael Jackson's speaking voice.

🕰️ The hardest aspect in any chart for me are oppositions or squares to pluto, saturn and chiron. These are easily the most challenging aspects you can find in a chart.

🕰️ Those that have lilith/pluto in the 1st, 6th, 7th, 10th, 11th tend to have haters in their workplace, in groups or wherever they go often. It’s saddening but I’ve seen it a lot. Can also make ppl copy your style or attitude then hate on it, and never admit they got inspired by you.

-- potential triggers in the following one, pls skip if necessary.

🕰️ Difficult planets on the angles, saturn, pluto and chiron mainly can truly mess with someone's mental health to the point of them wanting to- yeah that. The most drastic effect is when they sit on the descendant and MC, since it deals with connections, groups of people and the public, a lot of it is outside of the native's control, and at times more than what they can handle. Their usually painful past experiences and memories has shaped their perception of the world to a dark and despairing one where they don't see a better future for themselves. A few examples, Kurt Cobain (chiron and saturn conj desc and pluto conj asc all tightly opposing), Mac Miller (chiron conj desc, saturn conj asc and pluto conj MC). Marilyn Monroe (chiron conj MC and saturn close to the IC, pluto conj nn). 

🕰️ I see every major astrological transit as a collective test, lesson and preparation for the next transit. It made sense that corona happened when pluto was in capricorn, a pandemic that restricted our freedom and made us prisoners in our own homes. There was a stellium of mars, jupiter, saturn and pluto all in cap the moment quarantine started in march. It was all about teaching us to respect societal rules and structures that keep us safe, whether it had to do with the government or the medical system, whether it was real or fake or real fake. Yes you have to give up some freedom for safety, that’s how surveillance and security cameras everywhere you go work, for your safety. 

🕰️ It taught us to care for the health of humanity, to live responsibly and respectfully when in crisis, even if that means compromising our freedom and limiting our movement. Trusting that the structure built over the past decades is somewhat reliable and helpful. We saw how some people put their own freedom above anything and anyone out of superiority, that's the selfishness we collectively needed to face before pluto moves to aquarius and we are given freedom we didn't learn how to appreciate or use responsibly. We had to learn the value of personal freedom vs discipline and structure.

🕰️ There are two planets I’ve seen repeatedly in people that manifest like magic, saturn and neptune. To add a third it would be uranus. Conjunctions and oppositions to these planets are like superpowers in manifesting your desired reality. All work in different ways. 

🕰️ For example people that have personal planets conjunct saturn (esp sun and moon) are easily attuned with the physical world and have some sort of control over time, turning it backwards or forwards, making themselves look younger and older at the same time, knowing the actions to take to bring anything into the three-dimensional world.

🕰️ Now this leads me to an astrology book I recently came across, the Alien Constructs the work of Edwin Steinbrecher and Stephanie Jourdan, discovering aspects that constitute an alien chart. The alien construct occurs when one of the outer planets, that is saturn, uranus, neptune or pluto, is conjunct or opposite the sun, moon, ascendant or the chart ruler. An individual that has one or few of these is different from other humans, they possess supernatural abilities, and typically have rough childhoods and adolescence.

🕰️ Every aspect with each of the outer planets has a unique ability, for example when the sun conjoins an outer planet it's called Power Alien Construct, the moon conjoining an outer planet is a Vessel Alien Construct, an outer planet conjoining the ascendant is an Instrument Alien Construct, an outer planet conjoining the descendant is a Shadow Alien Construct. Saturnian aliens are able to manifest things in the physical realm, plutonian aliens are masters of metamorphosis and irreversible change, uranian aliens are able to see the future and raise energetic frequencies. 

🕰️ Sun conjunct pluto is Plutonian Power, aliens are able to destroy that which is not built upon truth, understand the true nature of birth, sex, death and power, generate energy and power,  integrate polarities, perform psychic surgery, see beneath solid surfaces, shape-shift into animals, minerals or plants, heal utilizing sex, magnets or lasers.. etc. Moon conjunct uranus is a Uranian Vessel, aliens are able to comprehend the cycles and trends of the futures, safely corral erratic energy or electricity, channel high-frequency beings, telepath to imprisoned or trapped individuals or animals, sense the formation of inventions and innovations. Look it up, it's fun and tell me what alien construct are you and how you relate to it. oh it reminds me of a post I did a while back of aspects as superpowers.

Happy pluto in aquarius 🛰️✨ (will come back in years and see how this aged)

[lightfeltmemories]

episode one: phantom troupe and romance; headcanons from least toxic, to most toxic

characters include: chrollo, machi, pakunoda, shizuku, uvogin, shalnark, feitan, phinks, bonolenov, kortopi, hisoka, illumi, nobunaga, franklin. (not in order)

tw's: nsfw but nothing explicit, mentions of non-con, spoilers for the deaths of pakunoda, shalnark, kortopi and uvogin, toxic relationships, lovebombing, mentions of torture (not on reader), mentions of cheating, mentions of reader's death,

notes: a completely self indulgent post, you can probably tell who im biased towards by how long certain sections are.

because this contains mentions of nsfw, do not interact if you are under 18, you will be blocked if you do !! also, do not leave negative comments please, they will be deleted :)

pakunoda

out of everyone, guaranteed, she'll be the best partner out of everyone else, you might even end up shocked that she's apart of the troupe if it ever comes to you finding out.

she's a darling, spoils and cares for you like anyone else, a great listener and partakes in your interests in hobbies, its (almost) like a fairytale by how the relationship is, the troupe knows you but you don't know them! and she wants to keep it that way, of course still she's a murderer, so it would break her if you were to have found out about everything, she vowed to never let you know or even have you close to knowing about what she does, but you just can't help but wonder what she's doing when she's away for long periods of time.

until it comes to her death.

now, you eventually find out that she died from a close friend of hers, but he knows paku doesn't want you to know about the troupe, so, he's a bit vague, and a bit creepy.

--

nobunaga

personally out of everyone else, i feel like nobunaga would be other most normal when it comes to relationships, but then again, he's an enigma, he doesn't strike me as the type to be the best boyfriend literally ever or very very toxic, i feel like out of everyone else, if you're looking for someone to be in a semi normal relationship with, nobunaga is your best shot, but of course, he's a part of the phantom troupe, and any member apart of it isn't exactly the best partner by default.

he's still a murder and thief, like all members i believe that he would definitely steal things that remind him of you, he'd most definitely kill for you.

unlike someone like feitan or machi, he doesn't exactly have a problem with being vulnerable when you get to know him, he'll tell you about himself, and of course, because he's a criminal he can't exactly tell you what he does for a living, but can't bring himself to lie about it either, he's just hoping that one day, if you know, you won't leave or judge him for it, his childhood isn't exactly all sunshines and lolipops, y'know?

he'll love you from the ends of the earth, but he definitely won't let you walk all over him, quick to put your in your place and won't allow you to manipulate him, he won't lie to you (about trivial things, at least) so why should you? (who knows, maybe you're apart of a criminal organization and is pretty much a wanted criminal yourself :P)

--

bonolenov

similar to nobunaga i think if you want something that's somewhat normal, bonolenov is also a nice choice! (100% not putting him up so high because we don't really know that much about him it's totally because he would be a decent partner! honest!)

for one, you would definitely be introduced to usual romantic gestures and advances that come from his tribe, he'll tell you all about how things work with him, he'll do dances he learned when they were still here for you to show how much he adores you, and dresses you in garments that resemble such from his tribe, it's pretty cute, honestly!

now, what concerns him a bit is.. how you'll react without his bandages, he's not exactly sexy like chrollo but (to me, TO MEEEEEE) he's not the ugliest thing in the world! he just hopes that eventually if you see him in his true form, you don't scream and run away at the sight of him, its okay if you do! ..... kind of.

and if you don't, oh you'll mean so much to him!

--

kortopi

now, here's another one we don't know much about! but i'll try my best either way (i just want to contribute to the lack of attention him and bono get in these spaces.) he's another somewhat normal one, he also doesn't strike me as the type to be the absolute worst, but still is apart of a troupe of murderers and thieves.

similar to everyone else, he'll steal and kill for you (idk if this guy even has a body count but lets pretend he does.) and is a lot more open to being vulnerable than some other members.

now, nine times out of ten you'll be taller than him because this guy is even shorter than feitan, so, he'll definitely be wearing your t-shirts and hoodies, and he ain't complaining about it!

and eventually, he dies, now, honestly, something told you that kortopi seemed... like the odd one out when it came to the troupe, he doesn't seem like the type to be apart of... that! you better hope that hisoka doesn't care about you, or things are gonna turn ugly faster than you can blink.

--

uvogin

he's big (as hell), but he's sweeter (you know why they're in bold italics) than the others twice his size.

physically the strongest, you're rather lucky to have him has your partner, if someone won't stop messing with you, they're dead within a millisecond, or at least scared off since you know.. he isn't exactly built like the average guy and having someone that's eight foot fucking two walking up on you not really excited to see you is quite terrifying, depending on his mood they'll sometimes get away.... sometimes.

enough of that, how is it like when it's just the two of you? sitting on the couch or laying in bed watching movies together, his arm around you, it's basically a pillow! a hard ass pillow at that.

not the most vulnerable, he's not some weird incel who see's women as sex toys or anything, he's decently capable of being in a normal relationship, you won't see each other often sadly, but when you do, he'll pay 95% of his attention towards you, he'll even let you know straight up that he won't know when he'll get back, but he will! ... until he doesn't..

ah yes, his death at the hands of kurapika, how will you react? hell, how would kurapika react to your existence? something tells me that kurapika might kill you too, send you right off with him, or, in a rather strange twist of events, he might try to fuck you and take you to the other side, not in the way of barging into your house and straight up non con, nah, more like a get to know you then get in your pants type of way, uvo won't be there to protect you now would he? of course the latter is highly unlikely, but to be honest it's kind of fun to think about.

and now that you think of it... you don't even know what uvo was doing or where he was going, you choose how you want to react to how you found out about his troupe business.

--

shizuku

another woman! she's similar to another person right below her! she looks cute, but she's anything but!...... sort of.

she's not the best or worst partner, she's pretty normal, a bit distant but it's not something you can't manage, maybe she just needs some space and you're overwhelming her, but something that really gets to you is her forgetfulness.

at first, she'll forget things such as your birthday or your anniversary, but going further into the relationship, she becomes less and less forgetful (she might even remember things that you don't even remember.)

what exactly do you guys do together? well, she does try to partake in your interests, and does try to get things you like!

--

franklin

he's similar to uvo, he's big, he's actually nicer than he appears.

what makes him so low is.. well to be honest i don't know, i don't feel like he could be high up but not so low, so, this is the perfect spot for him.

for one he does have a bit of an anger problem, not as bad as phinks, but he doesn't mind a slight argument, good thing he wont assault you, and is quick to make up for the argument.

i don't know how to write him, so, please forgive me for how small this passage is. :(

--

shalnark

we're starting to get into uh... strange territory, he looks kind, and seems normal, but he's anything but that, he's not the most toxic but he also isn't the most caring and understanding either, similar to nobunaga he's kind of an enigma.

he's a love bomber and very good at manipulating, definitely takes advantage of his rather cute looks, he'll figure out what you're insecure about and compliment those things specifically, i do think he is capable of loving someone genuinely, but he sometimes does things without realizing that they aren't really normal, maybe he's getting his troupe personality mixed up with the one he has with you.

he does come off as sweet at first, brings you flowers and takes you on some rather expensive dates (an uncanny feeling creeps up on you about how the waiters act, but you don't pay much attention to it.) and sometimes he's more distant and a little bit aloof, you take this as him needing his space.

he's not abusive, but he isn't the absolute best partner, there's definitely better out there.

his death doesn't hit you as hard as the others but it was still devastating, you best hope hisoka doesn't come for you, and if he does, you hope he swiftly kills you, because you really don't want this murder clown to take an interest to you.

--

phinks

phinks is another one 'that's kind of odd to me, i don't want to judge a book by its cover and say "yeah he's a piece of shit!!" but again, he's a lot better in comparison to anyone below.

he's similar to shalnark in quite a few ways, one, he does things that kind of makes you think he's a bit of an odd ball, he's intimidating to look at and is the second strongest physically in the troupe, so you're lucky to have someone like him if you're looking for protection.

i don't see him as the type to take you out to fancy restaurants and bring you flowers, stuff like that is a bit too sappy for him, he shows other ways like giving you thinks you like or taking you to like carnivals or other fun events.

his main problem is his anger issues, he won't physically harm you especially if you don't use nen, but he's not above arguing with or yelling at you, he doesn't do it often, but he might call you an idiot or a bitch if you take him to that point.

the relationship is somewhat normal besides that.

--

chrollo

chrollo is weird, some say he's loving, caring, blah blah blah while some might say he's the exact opposite.

for one he is charming, he's a relatively good looking man, he's intelligent, and is looking for someone who's also intelligent.

i feel like chrollo definitely has a type, he likes people who are elegant, he wants someone that'll make him look good while he's in public, he doesn't care much for how people view the relationship outside of that, he also looks for someone with a personality he doesn't want someone who looks good yes, but is boring to be around, someone he can have a deep conversation with and talk about his interests with.

for one, you will not know about the troupe's existence, until he is 100% ready to tell you, which will definitely take a while, but he's confident that the troupe and himself will protect you from anyone who tries to avenge.

now, what makes him so low on this list? well, he's quite manipulative, a gaslighter, too, what do you mean you saw me with another woman? it's all for business, i'm just trying to steal her nen ability.

he does want to be a good partner, but this relationship is kind of a "too good to be true" type, something is happening behind closed doors and the thought is too persistent to ignore.

--

illumi

this guy is... strange, for one, his beady ass eyes make him look like a bug (affectionately), and section.. his very warped perception of what love even is.

i agree with the fandom that he has a breeding kink no doubt, his intention on dating is marriage, and you will bear his children, no ifs, ands or buts.

you'll meet his family but you'll never meet the troupe, he doesn't want you getting involved in fighting (he might have someone teach you some basic self protection) because he doesn't want you to die, that'll fuck with him... kind of, you're basically trapped in the mansion.

his overprotection is toxic on its own, you don't have that much freedom, you can't go shopping unless he's with you (or if he can't be there, one of his servants will accompany you), you're never truly alone unless he's away, and when he's here, things are no better, he's distant and cold, there's not much to talk about with him, sure, he loves you, but doesn't know how to express it much.

--

machi

one out of three toxic ass individuals, one of them consists of machi.

lets start off with the fact that she's cold hearted, as hell, if you cry in front of her she'll look at you like you're crazy, if she's really in that mood she'll tell you that you look stupid and you need to suck it up.

not good with physical touch or romance, who knows how the two of you managed to continue the relationship, she does leave flowers for you but won't tell you that they're from her, won't admit that she's the one who got them for you.

i feel like similar to a certain clown, she won't care much for you if you aren't either powerful or capable of protecting yourself in some way.

but all she's really doing is putting up barriers, she's actually caring in her own weird way, she'll still be there for you, patch up your wounds if you managed to get cut or stabbed and would probably mourn your death.

--

hisoka

were getting lower, and a certain sadist who loves torture is worse, but somehow, hisoka is slightly better than him in some way or another.

for one, hisoka probably won't be that interested in you if you aren't powerful, it would be worse if you were a regular civilian, he'll take that as an opportunity to take advantage of you sexually, physically, psychologically and mentally, and the relationship will be literal hell..

but, lets say you are pretty powerful, dare i say a troupe member yourself, he won't be as interested in fighting you as much as he would chrollo, but he would be interested in... other ways.

how you managed to get into a relationship with this freak is unclear, but you two one day just.. hooked up, and it all goes downhill from here.

he has no problem killing you if he gets tired of you, he already killed two and plans on killing the rest of the spiders, why not kill another? especially you? or, in an alternate scenario where he does manage to kill off all the spider, you're the only one who's left, this can go two ways, one, he can fuck you one last time then kill you, or, he takes you with him! if you managed to have a lasting impression on him, that is.

outside of sex, he just isn't a good partner, he's probably the only one on this list that's probably willing to cheat on you (don't you dare get back at him, both you and your lover will die) he's manipulative as hell, he doesn't necessarily care about how you feel and he'll provoke you just to get a reaction out of you.

--

feitan

and last but not least, feitan, oh boy, good luck to you for managing to have this man attracted to you. (im a feitan girlie, so this one might be a big longer than the rest)

for one, he'll hate your rotten guts for making him feel this way, for making him feel so weak, so emotional... he might even contemplate on killing you, but when that time comes he can't bring himself to do it.

i don't want to say yandere is his default since he doesn't really know how to properly love, because i do think he has some potential, but it does make sense for him, because there has to be something about you that makes you interested in him, maybe you're his polar opposite? maybe you're also a sadist?

he's not the most romantic partner, he doesn't want to come off as vulnerable, or sappy, so, what considers as a date to him? he's the type to probably take you to a cemetery at night as a form of a date.

he will not allow the troupe to know you or you to know them, for one he's going to be teased from hell and back for finally managing to pull someone and second while it appears that he doesn't care for you much, him protecting you from them is his way of showing you that he cares.

he can't find himself being vulnerable, he might teach you his language if you're up for it, and he might bring you some things he knows you like, but thats kind of it, also he won't force you to see him torture people.. unless you betray him in a way.

[churipu]

Hi! ☺️ First and foremost, I hope you're doing well. Also, I just recently found your page and I love your writing!

I really liked your post on the super sensitive reader with the jjk men. Can I get headcanons of the jjk men with reader who is very stoic and a little emotionally constipated? Like they have never seen reader cry ever while in their relationship together, but then reader ends up having a hard week and ends up crying from frustration.

jjk men & their emotionally constipated partner

featuring. shiu kong, itadori yuuji, todo aoi, geto suguru x reader

warnings. cursing and jjk men being sweet and soft to their partner <;33

note. hi anon! i'm doing great, hbu love? thank you for liking my works, you don't know how much that means to me, i hope you have a great day! and thank you for requesting, i find this request very interesting <33 also, thank you guys for the big amount of support i've been receiving for the last two days, can you imagine i gained like 140+ followers in that matter of time? i'm going to start violently sobbing istg. anw, i hope u sexies enjoy this <33

SHIU KONG. shiu loves you a lot, even if you struggle in showing the love back to him, he knows you love him a lot. shiu would receive random messages (mostly a picture of something and then you tell him that it reminded you of him, probably deemed as your love language now). i feel like shiu is partly happy that you don't take things into the heart - but at times he'd be very worried about you. you never cry, you almost never get angry at him even if he did something wrong (you'd just tell him it's nothing and you weren't mad, but he sometimes think it's because you didn't want to engage yourself in arguments), and hell, he barely sees you smile at all.

shiu has heard you tell stories about your new work place, which you quote unquote as toxic. and you've been in the company for no longer than three months, but the stories about your very annoying co-worker and your boss never stops. he swore that the topic of your work place was the only thing that could get you riled up.

i feel like shiu would be the type of boyfriend who would tell you to stop working because he's financially stable enough to provide for you, but you decline telling him that you didn't want to live off of him.

shiu didn't force you to stop or quit your job though, he'd be glad to listen to you talk about your days at work.

"y/n? you're ho— darling, what happened?" he saw the solemn look on your face and realized that something must have happened (yet again) at your work place, he dropped the cigar that was lodged in between his lips and immediately approached you.

you shook your head, inhaling sharply before kicking off your shoes, "work, of course."

"is it your boss? or that same co-worker again?" shiu knew that it was either your boss or this one co-worker who doesn't seem to enjoy your presence in the office.

"both." you sat down on the couch, throwing your head back in exhaustion (you were about to cry and the only way to stop your tears from coming out was to just force it back in with your head back), "i'm getting my paycheck reduced this month."

shiu took a seat next to you, "why?"

"i was blamed for something my co-worker did, this is so unfair," your voice cracked a little and shiu pulled you into a hug, you choked out a sob, "this is so unfair," you muttered out, your pent out anger and disappointment finally seeping out in a form of tears.

"hey, shh..." he soothes you, pulling back to see your tearful eyes. he grazed over your cheek to wipe the droplets away, "let me take care of them, yeah?"

you shook your head, "don't have to, i don't want to make this into a bigger mess."

shiu planted a kiss on your forehead, "don't worry about it darling, you trust me, don't you?"

"yes."

shiu had a "talk" with your boss and your co-worker the very next day and your co-worker ended up resigning right after, and your boss, well they never bothered you anymore (and you're getting an extra paycheck for the next half a year).

ITADORI YUUJI. people always wonder how you and itadori ended up with each other. him being this ray of sunshine, and you were like the moon. but he didn't care about what everyone says, he loves you — and that's what matter, right?

wrong. don't think that you didn't notice the enormous shit talking about you behind your back, about how you probably bribed itadori into dating you and what not. usually, you'd shove all those down the drain and forget about it.

but for some reason, you couldn't help but to rethink about what they said. how itadori isn't too fit for you, or how you don't deserve him at all. the only thing that managed to trigger you was how somebody said that itadori deserves someone more "emotionally available" for him, and that person isn't you.

you never liked being emotionally constipated, people always talk about you behind your back, saying how you're so distant and that being the reason you don't have any friends. you keep telling yourself that you're used to it when it comes to you, but when it comes to itadori and your relationship — you feel helpless.

"y/n? are you okay?"

you looked up at him, a glint of worry flashing in his eyes. and you can't help but to feel the frustration building in you as you remember the words people say to you, "yes..no? i don't kno—" you choked out, smacking your hand on top of your mouth at the sound you let out.

it just got worse when you feel the tears you've been penting up for the past few weeks come out. itadori blinked feverishly, a little surprised to see you crying like this. he has never seen you cry before, "y/n..?" he breathes out, his hand reaching out to you, but you moved back, trying to avoid his touch.

the embarrassment you felt was horrid, you hated crying in front of people, even your own boyfriend, "baby," itadori mutters out seriously, grabbing your arms and then pulling them away from your face, "tell me what's wrong. talk to me."

i feel like he knew where this was going, he had a hunch. for the past few weeks, you asked him about why he was with you, why he loves you when there were better people out there (you think). and he knew it was because of what people said.

"i...i just don't think i'm the right one for you, yuuji. they're right, you need a more emotionally available partner."

itadori's face fell when you said that, and he shook his head, pulling you into his embrace. rocking back and forth like a baby, "why would you say that? why would you listen to them y/n?" he asks quietly.

"i...don't know."

he pulled away, brows furrowed and he held your shoulders, "you're perfect for me, i don't give a fuck what they said about you and i. the next time someone says something, i'm going to beat them up," the thing is, he looked so serious you couldn't help but to chuckle.

"you just chuckled.." he breathes out, "my life is complete."

TODO AOI. he's very boisterous, and i feel like he'd be the type of person who would defend his partner everywhere they go. when you accepted his feelings, he was surprised since he never expected you to like someone like him. but he was pretty damn proud of you, and as a boyfriend, he shows you off like a trophy.

telling people about how amazing you are, how you make him happy, or how you treat him nicely. but people are fucking judgmental, some of them don't like the idea of others living happily — and you never thought that "these" particular people would target you next for it.

saying how fucking weird todo is for liking someone like you, and you had to be honest, it did get into you. and so began your avoidance to your own boyfriend, todo.

he hates it. he hated how you changed out of the blue, no matter how hard he tries to reach out for you, you weren't the same anymore and he never got why you decided to change.

believe me when i say that he tried asking his friends about it, or about tips to get you to talk to him. but really, they weren't much of a help, saying how you probably got bored and is avoiding him so he would be the one to break up first with you.

todo didn't want to let the idea of that get into him, but after a few weeks of you avoiding him non-stop, he began thinking the same thing. were you bored of him? did he do something that you didn't like? or is it because he ate the last chocolate chip cookie you were saving up and blamed it on someone else?

so when he got the chance to bump into you, he immediately took it as a chance to ask you about it.

"why are you avoiding me?" you tried ending the conversation right away by going the other way, but man is fast fast so he didn't let you — still wanting to know about the sudden change in your behavior.

todo knows how you didn't like being cornered, or how you don't like talking about the relationship, sappy shit. but if he didn't talk to you about this, todo knew he was going to regret it.

"y/n," he grabbed the back of your collar, pulling you back lightly, "did i do something wrong?"

you were silent for a few seconds before todo's ears perked up at the sound of soft, choked out sobs. you were crying. you were crying. and the panic sinks in, "i..i'm sorry, did i pull on your collar too hard?!" he panics, flailing his arms.

you shook your head, "...no, i'm sorry for avoiding you."

todo stopped his panicking and stood up straight, "i couldn't stop thinking about what people have to say about us, and now that i think about it, i feel like you deserve more than me," todo widened his eyes and looked around.

"who the fuck said that? i'm going to beat them up so bad people won't recognize them," todo mutters out and the corner of your lips tugged upward, "is that why you're avoiding me?"

you nod, "it was wrong. i know i should've said something about it. i'm sorry for avoiding you."

todo laid his hand on top of your head, brushing your h/c softly with a gentle smile, "you're perfect for me, fuck those people," he cusses out, "next time you hear em', don't forget to find out their names— i'm going to give them a lesson for it."

SUGURU GETO. suguru and you are like two peas in a pod. people never see him without you and vice versa, and often people would say that you both are the perfect couple. despite your personalities almost being the same type of calm, suguru is a calm man, and he's soft spoken. while you were just plain cold and stoic, rarely speak of something or even show your emotions.

someone bothering you? okay. someone making fun of you? okay. you were practically a walking definition of "i give zero fucks". but that doesn't mean you can't feel hurt, you are still human after all.

so when suguru told you about how he has a new co-worker, and how she has been clinging onto him, how she tries to get in his pants. you find it cute how he tells you about it, even telling you that you should come to his workplace so he could show you off.

you didn't feel anything because you trusted him. until you see the so called "co-worker" of his. she's pretty, you can't deny that. and you could see how she gets along with almost everyone, having no problem in instigating a conversation or complimenting people. people definitely like her.

that's where the insecurity began sinking in.

would suguru fall for her like everyone in his workplace does? would he leave you for her? so many questions you wanted to find the answer to.

"baby?"

you look at him, completely out of your daydream. he cocks his head to the side, "are you okay? you've been zoning out a lot lately..." he said, voice gentle and worried.

you nodded, "yeah. sorry. got a lot in my mind."

"do you want to talk about it?" he brushes a few h/c strands from covering your face, "you've been a little distant. is it something that i did, baby?"

god, just the thought of suguru thinking it was him made you a little sensitive. the past few weeks was already hard enough for you to contain yourself from breaking down, and him asking that made the tears you held in for so long drop out all at once.

suguru was a little taken aback and he sat straight up, alarmed, "y/n? baby? what's wrong?" he asks you gently, wiping the tears that never ceased from your face.

"i feel..i feel like i'm not enough. you deserve better than me, suguru." suguru swallowed the lump in his throat, he should've known, ever since you came to his workplace, you had started getting distant. and he should've known that was the reason.

suguru shook his head, cupping your face before giving you soft little kisses all over your face, "don't" a kiss on your forehead. "you" a kiss on your left cheek. "dare" a kiss on your right cheek. "say" a kiss on your nose. "that" a kiss on your chin.

the male gazes into your eyes deeply, "i love you," he softly said before planting a kiss on your lips, "you're the one i want, you're perfect for me. i can't see my future without you y/n, so please don't think about that..."

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[luciddownloading]

Astrology Observations: Leo Edition 🦁

👑Leo Suns, Leo Moons and Leo Risings are all like different types of celebrities.

Leo Sun people have classic It Girl/It Boy energy. They have the powerful ability to light up their surroundings and be the cream of the crop in whatever their domain is, exhibiting that "special something" others can't duplicate. Most of them know they have it, whether they openly admit it or not.

Leo Moons are sort of like child/teen stars with the staying power to still shine as adults. A lot of them stand out as iconic in their youth, through their talents or life experiences, and retain that quality as they mature. They may even have a "stage mom" of sorts or just a mom who fiercely supported their abilities.

Leo Risings are the accidental celebrities. Many of them are actually quite shy or modest but just radiate this magnetic, commanding quality that draws recognition their way. Attention and praise always find them, without them having to seek it.

👑 Leo people have THE most infectious laughs, especially the Suns (Sagittarius people would come second, imo). We can make people laugh just by laughing. Also, very distinct and memorable laughs.

👑 Those with Leo placements, especially in their big 3 (Sun, Moon, Rising), either adore cats or can't stand them. The Leo temperament is very similar to a cat's. Lions are cats, after all! (Leos often even have feline features, like "cat eyes") So, some Leo people will deeply bond with cats and identify with them while others will be repelled because they're too similar lol.

👑 Leo Risings have far more drama in their personal lives than most people know. Often times, some long-held secret about their family or serious relationship surfaces that really shocks people.

👑 Venus in Leo people are often absolutely in love with fashion/clothes/aesthetics. It's like their true first love, not that boy or girl from their teens (though I am sure they're great!) Total fashionistas with the confidence to make garbage bags look like couture.

Some Leo Venus people go the other way and could not care less about fashion. But, their careless style choices are still cute, mostly because they're so at ease in them.

👑 No shade but those with Mercury in Leo sometimes talk just to talk; to be entertaining or fill up the silence. They don't care as much about factual info or depth. They just don't want to be boring! But, their gift is they can convince anyone they know what they're talking about, even when they have no clue.

👑 A Leo Sun's birthday has deep significance to them. They are the type to either always throw a party/go on vacation for their birthday or just treat the day as a time for renewal or rebirth. Also, if this is your Sun sign, please keep track of your yearly Solar Return chart. It affects you a little more than it does others.

👑 Let the Leo Moon in your life have their little dramatic moments (barring anything toxic, of course). They need that emotional release and get over them pretty quickly.

👑 Mars in Leo people might be extra turned on by make-up sex or arguments that lead to sex. Which may sound problematic but it can work if their partner is also into it, is equally passionate and neither takes it too far. They find a certain amount of drama sexy.

👑 Though the stereotypes might make you expect otherwise, Leos usually love each other and get along exceptionally well. The bond can be incredibly loyal, lots of fun and very special, particularly if they are romantic partners or best friends. Instead of competing for attention, they know how to support the other's light and allow each other to be great.

[venuslut]

♥︎. — nanami kento x reader

♥︎. — you were always weak to his love, so when you both broke up, you thought the weakness would leave with him. but now he’s back and apparently the weakness never left.

♥︎. includes. — nsfw, hurt/somewhat comfort, poc!reader, toxic relationship, manipulation, babytrapping, oral sex(f. receiving), praise, penetration, unprotected sex.

You were weak and you knew that. By weak, you meant in the emotional and mental department, by no means were you weak in terms of strength. But that didn’t matter much when your ex-boyfriend held your front door open with his hand, stopping you from shutting it in his face. “Y/n, please, I’m here to fix things,” he said, while also holding up a bag of takeout food. You didn’t know what made you fold, the free food in front of you or the handsome blonde man who held the food. It’s best not to think too much about it lest you fall deeper into the rabbit hole of your feelings for Nanami Kento.

It was awkward when he walked into your house, the decor is a perfect reflection of you through the hints of pink, black and white with modern furniture. Even the thin and short white robe, made out of satin, that had fur on the hem of the sleeves and along the bottom, including the edge of the belt that loosely held it together had fur. A perfect contrast to your dark skin and makes you feel sexy whenever you wear it. Nanami went over to the kitchen, setting the bag down on the counter. You stood a little further away, your arms were crossed against your chest and you sported an impatient expression.

He stared at you through the green lens of his glasses while he pulled out the different containers of food. Your robe barely clung onto your body, the thin fabric allowing him to admire the light outline of your curves. It hugged your body in a way that made him miss you even more. Nanami was never the lewd type, he liked sex just as much as the next guy. But there was something about you that made him lose control. Maybe if he put as much love as he did when holding your waist in his hands and listening to your delicious moans in his actual relationship with you, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this predicament right now.

“Are you gonna just stare at me?” You questioned, breaking him out of his daze. “Or are you going to tell me how food is gonna fix things?” you raised an eyebrow in tune with your question. “I’m sorry…” Nanami muttered before painfully removing his gaze from you. Although, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way he stared at you, but you wouldn’t tell him that. Not now. You refuse to give that man any more power over you, you’d be a fool to give him a way to convince you to get back together with him. Not after all the crying you did, not after you yelled at him to leave when he came home drunk for the fifth time that week. You worked too hard to build up the courage to end things, you can’t go back now, no matter what empty promises he was able to say to you.

Nanami sighed, tired of the tense silence and turned to you. “Babe, look—“

“No, you don’t get to call me ‘babe’ anymore, Nanami.” You corrected, cutting him off. “We broke up.” Nanami took a step towards you, and you put your hand up in a stop motion. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, it was in its usual slicked back hairstyle. You always admired how put together he looked despite killing cursed spirits for a living. But his neutral face was plagued with dark circles under his eyes, and his body slouched as if the pain of the breakup was an invisible weight that pushed down on him. A sick feeling of satisfaction that he was suffering buzzed in the back of your mind but you silenced it.

He stepped towards you again and you let him, “I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he said, you raised an eyebrow as if saying ‘really’. “But I can’t live without you, I need you Y/n,” he continued, his voice sounding desperate. It was the first time you heard him plead or beg. “—Okay? And I think we need each other.”

“Now hold on, I don’t need you.” You stepped toward him, the distance between you both slowly shrinking. “In fact, I can’t stand you,” he was silent and you think you finally got the point across that you were tired of his shit. Done with all the arguing, the ignoring, the late nights, everything. He was your weakness but you learned to get stronger, at least you think you did. The way he was looking at you now, it was a look you were all too familiar with.

There was a pause, “Is that why you’re standing in front of me right now?”

You sucked in a breath, suddenly, the tiredness in both of your bones feels as though it’s evaporating or replacing itself with pure adrenaline. The look in his eyes made all your resolve crumble, he could always make you fold without putting in much effort. “Tell me you don’t feel anything and I swear I’ll be out of your life,” he said while taking a step towards you. He was closer now and his full height towers over you and stares you down. You try to talk yourself out of it, of what you’re about to let yourself do but the need looms over your head just as it does over his and Nanami’s eager to make you his again. You know you’re gonna regret this later, but how could you say no to him? You are no liar, not in the face of your handsome and sexy ex who still had you wrapped around his finger. Weak to his existence.

Reluctantly, you turn your rational thoughts off, undoing the belt around your waist and letting the robe fall off your shoulders and to the ground. Weakly glaring up at him, “happy?” You asked. He studied your body, drinking in the provocative underwear you wore, it was convenient you decided to put on your more sexy and matching lingerie. As if you planned for his arrival, and planned that he would talk you out of your robe. But that didn’t matter now, you wouldn’t be wearing them much longer anyways. Nanami grabbed you by your waist, pulling you closer to him, your chest pressed against his. “Not yet,” he murmured before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

Nanami kisses you with the passion and fervor that has your legs becoming wobbly. Eventually, he wraps his other arm around your back, trapping you in his embrace. Your body trembled while being pressed against his body and moaned as you felt Nanami's lips against yours. For the first time in a while, you felt true passion and desire, along with the intense feeling of being wanted and loved. The feelings you felt were filled with love, sensuality and passion. You had never felt like this in a long time. Not since the beginning of the relationship, when you both were still in the honeymoon phase before it slowly fizzled out.

You responded to his kisses with the same level of ardor. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed yourself harder against him, your body craving to feel more and more of him. It felt so right. And you weren’t the only one feeling this way, Nanami couldn't stop kissing you. It was as though he was starving for you, desperate to make up for lost time. Every time you moaned or begged for him to kiss you harder, he would do his best to make you feel every ounce of his passion for you. He couldn't keep his hands off of you either. He started to run his fingers along your back, eventually leading up to your neck.

Your breath hitched with every movement Nanami made and every touch of his lips. You were completely taken by the moment, losing yourself in the warmth created between him. He had made you forget about the pain you felt from the past draining relationship. Every kiss, every touch from Nanami was an experience you were not going to forget. When these kisses ended, you would be a different person, one that wouldn't settle for anything less than love and passion. Even if it didn’t come from Nanami himself. Nanami eventually pulls away from the heated make out session and whispers to you. His voice was laced by lust and desire.

"I want you, Y/n. I'm sorry things got this way." You can feel his warm breath as he starts to kiss your neck and trail his lips to other sensitive spots on your neck and collar bone. When his lips sucked your neck, you began to experience a wave of emotions go through your body. This was too thrilling, too erotic, too magical. It made your body tremble with excitement. Rubbing your thighs together to create some much needed friction to appease the growing ache in your core. Despite the nagging in the back of your head, you didn't want him to stop. You let it happen, in all sincerity. You wanted more. More contact, more passion. You needed more. You felt alive in Nanami's strong grasp, your breaths becoming ragged, his kisses burning your lips. The feeling was simply indescribable.

Nanami moves your bodies to the nearby couch, forcing your body to buckle and sit on it. He doesn’t break away from you though, following close behind. He leans on the back cushion, pushing you against it with the amount of force he’s using, your form drowning under his as he deepens the kiss, devouring everything that you give to him. His knee digging into the seat beneath you, brushing against your clothed cunt, your juices already soaking through the fabric. The contact making your hips buck on his pant’s leg, you felt dizzy with desire as the roll of your hips. His free hand wanders down to trace his fingers along the sides of your body, purposely brushing against your sensitive nipples. You didn’t even notice he had unclipped your bra until it forced you to release your hold around his neck to allow him to take it off.

He placed soft kisses on your breasts, rolling the hard and sensitive nub while licking the other, to ensure neither one was neglected. When he reaches your thigh, he begins to slowly slide his hand back up, his fingers feeling the smooth texture of your inner thigh, and your legs widen to give him more access. Your face becomes flush at how close he was to your sex, internally urging him to finally touch you there. “Fuck…” you cursed between quiet moans. Nanami smiles and kisses your neck, enjoying how your body responds to him. He leans close to your ear, whispering, “I’m gonna need a little more than this to be happy.”

“Asshole,” was all you could muster up, keeping your hostile attitude despite the situation. But he only chuckled at your name calling, continuing to pepper kissing on your neck and collarbone. You looked at Nanami, your eyes wandering up and down as you took in every characteristic and detail of his physique that you could. Your heart was beating so fast that you could feel it everywhere in your body. You could barely resist Nanami's charming and seductive moves, it just felt too good and so... so right. You really are too weak to his charms.

Nanami dropped down to his knees in front of you and tugged at the waistband of your panties. “So pretty, but I’d like them better if they were off you.” And without wasting time, he snatched the expensive pair of underwear off you, stuffing it in his pocket for later use. He relentlessly holds onto your thighs to prevent you from moving, and he buries his face in the fold of your hip. You whine at Nanami's hot mouth being so close to where you want him and struggle against the grasp holding you down, your hips automatically arching up. He kisses at your lower stomach, all of the creases and stretch marks that adorn the skin.

“So pretty and perfect, I was dumb to lose you,” he murmured into your skin. Appreciating every part of your body, a body so divine that he nearly wants to shoot himself for almost losing you. “Don’t worry, darling, it won’t happen again,” he promised and maybe, just maybe, you will forgive him, welcome him back with open arms like before. Sure he missed your lustful stare, but he was in love with your happy smile that greeted him every time he came home from a hard day at work. You were silent, not responding to his promises of change, you didn’t want to hear that right now. If you thought too much about it, then you would overthink yourself into a crying fit. So instead, you chose to focus on the pleasure that coursed through your body when Nanami wraps his mouth around your clit and sucks on it teasingly, letting out a low, gratifying hum. A vibration that made you jolt and grip at his neat hair, messing it up with your hands.

You threw your head back, finally getting some kind of relief to the pain from your cunt. His warm mouth licks farther down between your folds after kissing your clit. Your eyes shut tightly and your legs wriggle in his grip as he expertly curls his tongue inside of you while licking and sucking you sloppily. Nanami releases one of your legs and you feel his fingers prod at your hole. You whine, spreading your legs further and relax into the familiar sensation. A moan escapes your lips at the feeling of his thick fingers inside of you, curling and hitting spots that your own hands couldn’t reach. Coupled with his never ending tongue-fucking, he has your back arching and a string of curses fly from your mouth.

Ever since the first time y’all got intimate, Nanami became obsessed with eating you out. Oftentimes when he came home from a stressful day, he would sit you down on any surface and just spend most of his evening in between your legs. He didn’t care for the way that after a few hours, you would be crying from overstimulation, pushing at his head to get him away, begging to be set free and that you couldn’t take it anymore. All those pleas fell on deaf ears, instead he would promise you that this was the last time, he just needed one more, can’t you be a good girl and cum for him one more time? And being weak to his sweet words of encouragement, all you could do was nod your head and sniffle as he pulled another painful orgasm from you.

He missed this, missed his rightful position between your legs, the familiar warmth your cunt emitted, your delicious moans, the burn from your harsh grip on his hair. He missed it all, and he’d be damned if it’s taken away from him again. His eyes stare up at you, admiring how undone you looked from his tongue and fingers. As he laps at your cunt like he was starving, your entire body is burning as Nanami adds a third finger in tandem with his wet tongue. You have to remind yourself to breathe because the pleasure was too much.

It isn’t long before you’re cumming inside his mouth and around his fingers, your body twitching from the intensity of the orgasm. Nanami kept your leg in place, using his elbow to keep the other one down. He fucked you through your high, thrusting his fingers lazily pumping in and out of you. The feeling of his fingers still hooked deep inside you causes you groan and to finally look down at him, saying, “Kento,” capturing his attention as his dark eyes turn to face you. God, wasn’t he a pretty sight? Kneeling between your legs, his mouth shiny with your slick (he never wasted a single drop). You also missed this. “Fuck me, please.”

If Nanami wasn’t hard before then he’s certainly hard now. The erection is almost too painful to ignore any longer. “Of course,” and you sense a hint of his own desperation. He pulls away after placing a final kiss to the inner corner of your thigh and pulls his fingers out. You whine at the emptiness and you’re filled with the need to be full of him again. He stands up from his kneeling position, “lay down,” he ordered, his voice low and firm, and it had you scurrying to lay your body flat while he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and fully took off his pants, freeing his hard cock. You gulped at the sight, his cock wasn’t long, sporting a good 5in, but he was thick and veiny with a dumbifying curve at the base. The tip was red and throbbing with pent up desire, leaking precum that trickled down his length as it stood high from erection. You wanted—no… needed it inside you. Obviously, Nanami agreed as he looks down at you with a look of pure hunger and you can only imagine the erotic picture you make for him. Completely naked and your chest rising from your heavy breaths while looking up at him with half-lid eyes and a lustful state, legs spread wide to show off your pink and swollen pussy, plus the mess of liquid that’s starting to drip out of you.

He positioned himself kneeling in between your legs, placing your legs on his shoulders. You look down and watch his cock slap against your wet cunt, sending an excited tingle through your body. He coated his cock in your juices, making sure it was nice and wet to enter you. Nanami knew you struggled to take his cock most times, and it was hard to feel bad when you looked so pretty while crying and whimpering, but he had to be kind this time. Placing his hands on your lower back, he pulls you closer and leads the tip of his cock to your entrance, pressing into it.

Once Nanami was fully inside of you, you felt like you were on the verge of passing out, the stretch and feeling of his cock so much further inside of you than any of your dildos, making your legs tremble. The air was knocked out of your lungs at the stretch. Your hand alternated between gripping the couch and holding the back of his thigh for support. Struggling to breathe, gasping slightly while you try and adjust. It didn’t help that the position he had you in forced your legs together and made your cunt more narrow, each thrust, no matter how slow you could feel every vein, every curve, every twitch of Nanami’s cock inside of you. Plus, it’s been months since you last had his cock inside you, since you last experienced the fiery sensation of being filled.

“Breathe,” you heard him. You didn’t even notice that you had stopped breathing, to hung up on how full you are. He caressed the side of your face, brushing strands of hair out of the way and his thumb traced against your bottom lip. “Breathe for me, darling, it’s okay.”

You hate it. You hated how caring he was, his sweet words as he coaxed you to regulate your breathing, how you fully wanted to take him back. But you didn’t want to hurt again, how could you be so sure that you would survive another heartbreak like last time? It was driving you crazy. Maybe… if you force him to stay somehow… force him to become better…

The blonde gave you time to adjust to his length, kneading your breasts and rolling your nipples through his fingers. This, coupled with him kissing the back of your hand, being so patient, and the way he looked at you so lovingly, solidified your final decision. He knew you were ready when you rutted your hips, mewling in need. He gave a slow experimental thrust, before starting at a slow and steady pace, not wanting to hurt you by starting off rough and fast. “Missed this,” he grunted, gripping at your waist, clearly struggling to move slowly. “Missed you…” he added, kissing your ankle.

Fed up with the slow pace, when he pulled out, you tugged his thighs and forcing him to slam hard. This action caused you both to moan loudly and the sound of your sloppy cunt has you clenching around him. He hissed in response. Not being one to ignore your obvious hints, he throws the slow pace out the window and thrusts his hips to bury himself deeper inside you, and begins a fast rhythm. The force of it winds itselfs into your stomach right alongside the coil of sick guilt and perverted pleasure. His dumbifying thrusts and the sound of sex blending it all together into a tight knot. You’re starting to wonder why you ever decided to try and give this up, and you’re grateful for Nanami holding your hips in a tight grip to brace you for his powerful ministrations. You are flushed all the way down your chest, a breathless, gasping moan punched out of you with every solid thrust.

You reach down between your bodies to rub your clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves as you try to rock your hips on his cock. Trying to match his relentless pace but ultimately being overpowered. As the intensity built, Nanami's hand glided up your body, finding your neck. He used his grip as leverage, squeezing his hand around your throat. "Pretty fuckin' thing, aren't you?" Nanami grit out. "You gonna come for me?"

You released a shattered cry as he adjusted your oxygen intake, continuing to massaged your bud with two fingers. His cock was completely entrapped by your pussy walls, which squeezed and confined him while enticing him farther into your body. You were unable to verbally respond, to overcome with pleasure to form words. Not that Nanami needed to hear you, he’s fucked you good so many times that he knows the signs of your approaching orgasm. Determined to watch you come undone, Nanami’s thrust intensified, each powerful thrust bringing new waves of pleasure coursing through his body, making him lose himself entirely in this primal act of release. The sound of heavy breathing and grunts echoed throughout the room, creating an erotic symphony that echoed off the walls.

A few hazardous thrusts later, your body was spasming and contracting around Nanami's cock, your orgasm washing over you and you let out a low moan. Nanami groaned in satisfaction as he felt your tightness contract around him, milking every drop of his essence. He fucked you through your orgasm, now solely focusing on reaching his release which wasn’t far off. His hand moving down from your neck to knead your breast, gripping it in an effort to ground himself.

When he feels himself beginning to reach his limit, he tries to pull out, but is surprised when you move your legs from his shoulders and wrap them tightly around his hips. Pushing him in further and making him unable to fully pull out. "Darling, I'm, mgh… close, let me go." He groaned, halfheartedly fighting against your embrace. He wasn’t wearing a condom and couldn’t risk knocking you up, not after all the stuff he put you through and his dangerous line of work.

“You said you won’t leave me,” you breathe out, still keeping your legs locked around his hips. “So you should fuck a baby into me to prove it.” Nanami could have sworn he saw hearts in your eyes, and he didn’t know whether to be scared or turned on. “That’s—“ you cut his protests off with a heated and desperate kiss. Nanami wanted to know when you had gotten so strong, he couldn’t get out of your hold to pull out, but it’s not like he actually tried. He was so enamored with the way your walls clenched around him that maybe having a kid wasn’t so bad. He barely has the time to fully think this through before he’s cumming inside you, filling your womb with his seed. Your incoherent mumbles intensified with every pulse of his member that dragged deliciously against your insides. Panting heavily, he finally pulled out of you, leaving a trail of sweat and fluids on both your bodies.

He leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head, his breathing slowly calming down. He carefully moved your tired body, flipping both of you to where his back was on the couch and you laid on his chest. The room was now quiet, save for your heavy breathes and quiet whimpers.

Nanami Kento never stood a chance at escaping the special brand of manipulation that you possessed. Especially now, eight months later, as Nanami watched the currently pregnant you rub your swollen belly while the shining diamond engagement ring sat pretty on your finger, the jujutsu sorcerer began to suspect that your selfishness was most certainly contagious. Not that either of you complained, because in the end, you were both weak for each other.

[pinejayy]

╰┈➤ Money, Money, Money || Mammon x Reader Headcanons

-just some headcanons of mammon,, nsfw and sfw headcanons of this clown because clowns make my knees weak.

warnings: afab reader!! toxic relationship!! nsfw of course, mammon is a jerk okay he ain’t no sweetheart. him being selfish as well. size difference, teasing, fingering, riding.

💵 Mammon is definitely not the type of person to be all lovey dovey with you. In reality you’re more like a prize in his eyes. It’s a huge ego boost when he has a pretty little demon wrapped around his arms.

💵 I don’t think he would spoil you rotten he’s too greedy for that shit. But he will buy nice clothes because you have to look good and dolled up when you’re around him.

💵 Sometimes when you’re being too clingy he’ll just throw you fist of bills. “Here, get out of my sight and entertain yourself.”

💵 Also there’s a huge height difference between you guys, and he absolutely loves how tiny and weak you are compared to him. And he loves talking down at you. “Look at how cute and pathetic you are. You’re lucky to even be in my presence.”

💵 Honestly your relationship with him is one sided and very toxic. You always do your part in this relationship but he never does his…well depending on his mood.

💵 Mammon is a huge slob. I can honestly see him as that guy who would be on the couch with his belly out and asking you for an other beer.

💵 Whenever you do want some kind of attention he would either give to you in a bad manner or just throw you a robot fizzy. “Here take this and entertain yourself.”

💵 When dating Mammon you have to boost his ego! A MUST!! So basically you always have to compliment him. Even though he’s a piece of shit. So basically stuff like “I love you Mammon, you’re the greatest.”

💵 He loves teasing you, and he can be a dick and grab your things and put them somewhere high. And when you can’t reach them you would ask him for help and he would just laugh at you. “Aww my poor little mate can’t reach this?”

💵 Not gonna lie you love his voice, his accent makes your knees weak. And you love hearing him talk about himself. And considering you love his voice he can talk you in into doing some shady stuff.

💵 Obviously he’s very manipulating. He’ll guilt trip you into doing stuff and when you don’t want to he’ll throw a tantrum. “Are you fucking kidding me Y/N!! I give you everything and support you! This is how you repay me!” He’ll yell at you until you do what he wants. He doesn’t care if you’re a crying and shaking mess. What he wants he always gets!!

💵 He is very selfish and especially when it comes to the bedroom. He only likes to think about his pleasures and his pleasure alone.

💵 Sometimes he gets too lazy to even please you so he’ll just give you a RoboFizz and he’s like. “Yup! That should please ya!!”

💵 And like I said!! Size difference…it might even be his kink. He loves how tiny you are. And whenever you guys are going to have sexy time he does make sure to prepare you for his cock. “Don’t worry darling ~ I’ll treat you good tonight.”

💵 He’ll finger you real good, he may be a selfish prick but he does enjoy watching you squirm and moan underneath him. “Mmm Mammon~ My lord…so good.”

💵 Please call him lord..it drives him crazy!!

💵 Mammon favorite way to finger you is when he’s in his spider webs and you’re sitting on his lap. And one of his lower hands is stretching you up for his cock later on. He absolutely loves teasing you with his fingers. And my lord!! Since he has four arms he can do wonders.

💵 One hand is focused on fingering you, while an other hand is focused on rubbing circles around your clit and the two other hands are playing with your breast and pinching your sensitive nipples.

💵 And if you’re about to finish when he’s fingering you he’ll pull away. And chuckle at your reaction. “Aw don’t give me that look mate. I just wanna feel you finish around my pretty cock.”

💵 Just imagine the way he holds onto your body, when he’s balls deep inside of you. Imagine his arms roaming around your naked body. Hands going over your butt, your chest and neck. “You feel so good darling.”

💵 Not gonna lie hearing Mammon moan with his accent is hot. Like 💦💦💦

💵 He’s not good with aftercare, and if you need some aftercare he’ll just throw you a robofizz. But yes Mammon wouldn’t be the ideal lover but hey!! You do you!

[ystrike1]

A Yandere Boyfriend's Sexy Punishment - By Natsuyoshi (6/10)

I've got beef with this one. Personal beef. It should be good, but if this isn't your first time you'll notice the quality issues. The yandere is a wishy-washy loser, which is a popular type of yandere, but the author isn't trying to write him that way. This author doesn't have the writing chops to pull off an intimidating yandere, and our protagonist is a blank space. Boo self inserts!

I said blank space...but Miu is kind of worse than that. She’s a Mary Sue in a smut story...which means she's a mild mannered, virginal, young girl.

...red flag?

Yup, your bad feeling does get confirmed near the end.

The beginning is so promising. Rei, Miu's hot boyfriend, corners her in the shrine he made for her. The dirty talk here is generic, but it's not that bad. Miu is...........

....she uh...just kinda lets Rei abuse her.

There's no real consequences for this.

She cries and runs away and stuff...but she doesn't really try to break up with him. She never calls the cops, even when he starts stalking her. He calls her 40 times a day but she never uh...asks for help??

Rei's backstory is one big excuse. He does awful things to Miu, but then he admits he was depressed. He was in a bad relationship before, and he knows about his own obsessive tendencies.

It's all very boring and...not a good reason for Miu to keep dating him.

He also tried to jump in front of a train. Miu saved him when she was in high school. She's been his ideal girl ever since. His dream girl. How sweet...wait not really the author ruins this later.

Miu tries to have a backbone. She says it doesn't matter if she saved him. He's still too forceful and aggressive. His shrine for her did not make her happy. She wanted her sweet first love...and instead she got...baggage...

Rei freaks out if she talks to any man. He hates her friends. He hates her family. He wants to chain her up. He wants her to have no life outside of him.

He makes her do embarrassing things when he's angry. He has an awful temper, and his personality flip flops alot. He's a very erratic loser yandere, but he constantly talks about how he's got Miu under his control...and she does do what he says...so as the reader I am left with a toxic dynamic that isn't very fun.

It's like a wet sandwich.

It's got all the toppings I ordered on it, but the texture is wrong.

Listen.

I don't think this author is a fan of male yanderes. That's my crazy theory of the day. Male yandere fiction is EXTREMELY popular now. I never thought it would get so popular when I started reviewing this stuff...

It really feels like this exists to fill a quota...

Part of the plot twist is Rei's abusive relationship with an older woman. She used him for money. She beat him, and she cucked him. This is unusual. I think we all know that most male yandere stories are a fantasy for women. It's weird to see a negative portrayal of a stereotypically evil "s***" character who is a w***** that wants cash.

My point is it feels like the author squeezed their ACTUAL fetishes into this yandere story.

The ending makes me even more sure.

Rei becomes a "redeemed yandere", which is a VERY UNPOPULAR type of yandere. He says he'll turn over a new leaf for Miu, because she saved him. He does not get punished in any way for tormenting Miu.

[necronatural]

for the send me a character ask game: madara (&if you’re willing to do another one izuna)

I always love hearing what you think about them!

Of course no pressure :-)

Madara

First impression: The incredible ice-cold neutrality I had to Naruto villains by that point cannot be underestimated

Impression now: YEEES BROTHER PROBLEMS YEEEEES YOUR FUNDEMENTAL PERSONALITY AT ODDS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES. It's so awesome his brother wanted peace but because he didn't trust Hashirama or the Senju Madara just threw it all away once he fulfilled his brother's dreams. Go king fuck up everything. The Uchiha don't even like you anymore

Favorite moment: That world war fight where he used his sharingan to fight a whole army. I'm sorry that shit was hot as hell

Idea for a story: I know I already wrote Madara getting doublecucked fic but what if it was from Madara's point of view. Wouldn't that be so funny

Unpopular opinion: A lot of fanfics posit it's Uchiha culture to be covetous of your family and so on but I think Madara as an individual has severe control issues and codependency from family trauma. I think he's tender enough to want to do better but definitely the type of guy to Yellow Wallpaper somebody. He did do that. To Obito. Also I think if you genderbend the characters you should leave Madara as male because almost all his behaviour is informed by his male chauvinism and I think he would not do the things he did if he were a woman. Madara is without a doubt a misogynist (You Will Never Understand A Warrior's Bond flavour) so don't forget that either

Favorite relationship: I have special yaoi favourites where I smile and laugh and clap at stupid fujoshit yaoi interpretations. Madatobi isn't one of them though. If they aren't being toxic and insane at each other it's not them and it repulses me. I don't care about topping or bottoming only mind games. Fluff reserved for Hashimada. I like Hikaku having a one-sided psychosexual obsession with him since adolescence but no one understands me

Favorite headcanon:

Izuna

First impression: O...lore [thinks about what this means for Itachi's motivations because that is his narrative purpose]

Impression now:

BLORBO SUPREME

Favorite moment: It was really funny how the anime added a line about how smug he was about the power of the sharingan and then Tobirama immediately utilized all the Sharingan's weaknesses to kill him. Way to kick a nothingdude while he's down

Idea for a story: In 2021 this is the only thing I was capable of doing

Unpopular opinion: Aro/Ace Izuna... And not only aro/ace but insane about it because he lives in feudal japan as a political entity who is sexy. Technically this is headcanon but the difference here is that I don't like it when anyone disagrees with me on this one. Tobizu is my NOTP

Favorite relationship: Platonic Tobizu wins for fucking ever!!!!!!!!!! Also I'm so obsessed with the idea of him as Kagami's post-grad sensei who sucks ass. He makes chuunin and studies under Tobirama and is like They Give You Guys A Curriculum?

Favorite headcanon: They're a romantic tobizu shipper but I believe everything Hinomori posts forever. Go into their gallery and know joy. Oh my god. Just remembering their posts makes me so sentimental. ⬇️frowing up

Sorry Izuna's is small but you have to understand 1. he doesn't real 2. anything that is real to me I wrote 300k words about

[some-anonymity-preferred]

Way behind, doing it anyway!

1. When did you discover OFMD? A little later than everyone else. I think I started watching it after all the episodes had dropped, and people were talking about the Gay Pirates.

2. What was your first impression? I didn't quite hate it, and I wasn't sure I'd watch past the first three episodes. That was a surprise to me because I like Kiwi humor. I think the problem was I'd been hearing all about how the show was Amazingly Gay and the End of Queerbaiting and a Big Gay Romcom--and that's just not evident the first time you watch the first three episodes. Amazingly Gay gets a reasonable start, to be fair, and all of it is impossible to miss on rewatch. But the first time through, the End of Queerbaiting and a Big Gay Romcom feel like ridiculous oversells. And even with all the casually depicted queerness in the first three episodes, its amount of Amazingly Gay felt like not enough somehow? It might be partly that Stede presents as such a Camp Gay, and Thor Ragnarok made me a bit suspicious of Taika's handling of that type (in retrospect, that was almost certainly the fault of the MCU). That said, I was totally here for Taika, and he doesn't fully appear in the first three eps.

3. First OFMD pic in gallery

Nah, I'm not going all the way back for that. Here's the most recent still OFMD pic I've reblogged:

4. Reasons you like OFMD I love OFMD for all the reasons I thought I wouldn't make it past episode 3. 😂

I love the pervasive, matter-of-fact presentation of queerness in all its rich variety. I love the Big Gay Romance, and all the other supporting queer romances. I love the Revenge family. I love their deep, multifarious, matter-of-fact diversity. I love that these characters exist within and sometimes rub up against a world that, like the one we know, is deeply antagonistic to them. I love that OFMD handles racism with the same gently brutal realism as it does anti-queerness. Those two elements of the show break me so hard, in such a good way. I also love the hard switch Rhys gives Stede between Bumbling Bumbler and Daddy in Charge, and I love how he adapts it as the situation calls for. (It's literally the biggest thing that convinced me to keep watching despite my misgivings. It takes 20 minutes into S1E1 to first see it, and then, damn.) I love Ed's wet cat energy. I love Stede's hair. I love Ed's hair. I love the Revenge. I love the shifting flashbacks and dream/story sequences. I love Izzy as an antagonist, and the painfully realistic toxic relationship between him and Ed that fuels the antagonism. And I love how Izzy constantly shoots himself in the foot. I love all the supporting male characters of color: Frenchie and Olu and Fang and Roach and Ivan, and how most of them are big guys and are so sexy and I just....yeah.

5. Favorite main character

Ed. I am Ed coded to the absolute max. And he's sexy AF, in all his guises.

6. Favorite supporting character(s)

I am both glad and not to see that "(s)." Could I choose just one? No. Since I am allowed to choose multiple, is it going to look like I'm naming the whole cast? Yep!

Top of the top: Frenchie.

Followed closely by Olu, Mary, Lucius, and Fang.

Honorable mentions: Roach, Nana, the Swede, Buttons, Evelyn, and Alma.

I also love the native community on shipwreck island, Hornberry, and Mister "We Could Have Made Magic." (Jim is too past-me coded for me to love, and Jackie doesn't rate for me yet; I suspect both will change with season 2.)

7. Songs that remind you of your fav characters

Halsey's The Lighthouse is my Stede abandons Ed at the dock theme. Elza Soares' Coracao do mar and Phoebe Bridgers' Motion Sickness also remind me of Ed. White Flag by Joseph for Stede. Here's my OFMD playlist:

8. Underrated character

Frenchie. Frenchie does not get his due in this fandom, and it's a damn shame.

9. Character you resonate most with

Ed, hands down.

10. Character you hated at first but grew to love

Buttons

11. Favorite duo

Frenchie and Olu

12. Scene that made you laugh

Frenchie naming the Pyramid Scheme

13. Scene that made you cry

The bathtub confession

14. Favorite episode

S1E5, The Best Revenge is Dressing Well

15. Favorite quote

"Have you ever been sketched?" --Lucius

16: Favorite line delivery

"Your face." --Roach

[noa-ciharu]

BESTIE I NEED YOUR OPINION!

• What is your absolute favorite ship?

• What song(s) reminds you of seisub?

• What kind of dates do you think watanuki and grandpa would go on?

Hi bestie 💕 idk how tumblr failed this bad I didn't see this ask until I opened inbox to answer other ask (that I somehow saw??) but then again it's tumblr so that's expected behavior

Absolute fave ship?

At the moment seisub and fuukam ♥️ I used to put subkam here too but tbh I lost the hype over last couple of months 😔 I'd say there are multiple possible reasons but lack of fandom and my preference for angst over fluff and hurt/comfort are one of them. Still I have one angsty shorter fic about them I'd like to complete these days

What kind of date do you think gramps would take Watanuki on?

Let's say for sake of argument they can leave the shop. Gramps would absolutely play the rich old 😏 man role and take Watanuki to expensive restaurants to impress. Watanuki is acting all coy blushy since Haruka's demeanor throws him off guard (flirty) so he wont notice that gramps isn't so smooth and is actually fighting for his life cuz he accidentally ate a chilly paper from the salad. To remedy the burning ache in throat he picked up a bottle of transparent liquid thinking it's water but it was vodka. What was meant to be sexy ride home turned into not so sexy ride to the hospital. RIP for second time gramps, this time your boner for your grandson's bf ended you

What songs remind you of seisub?

I can easily but angels by within temptation here cuz goddamn does the lyrics and pain of betrayal fit. But some songs which might be less known:

Oke I said less known but I think this one was somewhat popular back in the day. Anyways, pure pain of being stuck in unhealthy relationship and being unable to leave that person cuz you still love them ;-; perfectly describes X!Subaru. I prefer this version over one with Brent Smith cuz I think Doug Robb's voice is a bit softer and more emotional hence fits the theme of the song better

Also that one part:

There's nothing I can do

My heart is chained to you

And I can't break free

Look what love has done to me

😭😭😭

Also long time ago I wrote a pwp fic to this one song so to this day I sort of associate it with seisub (especially from Seishirou's pov). The dark sexual angsty vibes and lyrics about experiencing sexuality in more primal toxic way 🔥🔥🔥

honestly seisub aside I love how we have female singer with song like this since 95% of girls singing sexual songs is mostly meant to be as attractive to men as possible and is taking 'sexual object', submissive or power slutty chick type of role. So it's refreshing in that aspect

[yugureview]

Kitanai Kimi Ga Ichiban Kawaii

I just finished reading Kitanai Kimi Ga Ichiban Kawaii, and holy shit, I need to talk about it.

(Did I create this blog specifically to talk about this manga? Yes. But I know I'll have a lot more to say about a lot of other manga and anime in the future, so I know I'll make use of this.)

When I read a brief summary of Kitanai Kimi Ga Ichiban Kawaii (also known as "I Love Your Cruddy" in English) while researching yuri manga to read, it seemed right up my alley. Psychological horror? Check. Toxic yuri? Super check. Gay BDSM? Say no more, I'm in.

Ironically, this manga, which is pretty fucking devastating, was meant to be a little break from a devastating and extremely mentally draining anime I've been watching.

(I'm not going to say which anime that is; you'll have to wait for the review 😘)

But for now, let's continue this review. Spoilers ahead!

At the beginning of the manga, we're introduced to the two main characters, Airi and Hinako. They have a secret BDSM relationship, with their kinky, sadomasochistic acts taking place in a classroom after school. Hot, right? As a kinky dyke myself, this was definitely my favorite part of the manga. Being Hinako in these sitauations is a need.

But then, just as you think you're enjoying this manga, it gets... less hot. The drama starts to unfold. Airi and Hinako's relationship is exposed at school and rumors start spreading. Because of this, Airi stops talking to Hinako. As someone with a severe fear of abandonment (thanks BPD), this really struck a nerve with me. I felt so bad for poor Hinako.

When Airi stops showing up to school, Hinako starts visiting her. At first, Airi is adamant about not wanting to see Hinako (again, triggering my crippling fear of abandonment), but she eventually gives in. And we get some more sexy stuff (yay!), this time with Hinako on top 😏

In the end, due to the drama surrounding their lives, the girls end up running away. This final stretch of the manga was sad as fuck. Airi is suicidal, and Hinako is trying so hard to make things work. But Airi ends up convincing her partner to join her in suicide. Hinako strangles Airi to death, and then lies with her in the snow until she freezes to death herself.

So, yeah. This manga was a rollercoaster of emotions -- the type of rollercoaster that starts out smooth, then has a 100-foot drop and an abrupt stop that makes you fly straight out of the safety constraints. Did I enjoy it? I have no fucking idea. I just got a concussion from flying off a rollercoaster; there's no way in hell I'm gonna be processing any of this shit for a while.

I wish Airi and Hinako got to live out the BDSM life of their dreams. I wish there was less drama and less abandonment and less suicide. But the sad, psychological shit is part of why I came here, right? So I can't complain too much.

Anyways, this review ended up not being much of a review and more of a rant. I just had to talk about this manga. How can you read something like that and just keep it bottled up inside?

Would I recommend this manga? If you're in it for the yuri or the kink, no. If you're in it to cry sad tears (with some yuri on the side), absolutely.

[demonichikikomori]

Got stuck imagining cockwarming Idia while he's gaming and purposely trying to make him lose. Or falling asleep on his bed and he roughly fucks you into the mattress as he waits for a timed event to start. Or he slows his fucking to a torturous pace as he plays on his phone. Just. Idia propaganda

Doggy with Idia and he uses your ass as a phone stand for a Minecraft castle building tutorial. Do you know how disrespectful sex would be with the CEO of Shroudsville? It’s not that he intends to treat you this way all the time, but it is extremely sexy to think about… I’m writing down these three I’m jumping on an Idia kick after someone told me about Idia calling MC ‘Mommy’ during sex.

Goodness when I tell you my jaw was on the floor. Some of you guys have ideas that make my face hot enough to fry eggs!

But, back to the topic!!! Idia is a shut-in. A Hikikomori. And usually, shut-ins are known to be porn addicts and also have issues with real-life situations such as intimacy and what is, and is not appropriate. For personal reasons, I think Idia is the type to take out a bad mood on his partner in sexual ways.

He keeps losing in a game. His computer is lagging. He can’t find something in his room. Ortho is getting on his nerves. The zipper on his jacket broke. Shut-Ins tend to be very tolerant and even passive people due to the difficulty with being social. However, this will change in Hiki’s when playing a dominant role in a relationship. Because sex is something they usually only know about from online forums or pornography.

He’s so rough with you when he’s mad.

The docile, soft spoken Otaku, shut away in his room and whimpers when he cums…

Now his teeth are digging into your shoulder as he pounds into you. His much taller frame would flatten you against his floor, right next to a pile of dirty laundry with some sticky Hentai manga hidden underneath. You pissed him off, you don’t deserve the luxury or comfort of getting fucked in his bed.

He’d tie up your wrists and lazily edge you with one of the many toys he keeps hidden under his bed. He could care less if you cry and thrash around from overstimulation. YOU are the reason he lost his raid. YOU are the cause of the computer cord being torn from the wall. Clumsiness can be broken with training. Starting with a stamina check.

He’s in the middle of a shooting match, it’s super competitive with a bunch of toxic players. You cockwarming him while he plays would be amazing if he wasn’t taking a Massive L. Once the screen clears, announcing that he and his team lost, he closes out of it, and fucks you against his desk. Ignoring the equipment behind you as he drives you into the edge, pressing the sharp edge into your body. It’s going to bruise later, you can feel it, just as Idia bites down on your tongue.

In each of these instances, his hair is a fiery orange color… Maybe you should teach him that there are healthy ways to cope with anger. But first… You need to recover. His teeth are so sharp… And he’s so much stronger than you thought…

[chapterbookluvr]

“I’ve taken a life, but never shared a life.” - A Comprehensive Review of Sophie Lark’s Serial Killer Romance Novel, There Are No Saints

Content Warning: Abuse, sexual assault, murder, domestic violence, self-harm Spoiler Alert for There Are No Saints by Sophie Lark

“Well. Looks like I’m into serial killer romances now. So that’s brand new information. In my defense, sociopaths should not be this attractive.” writes Larissa, giving Sophie Lark’s romance novel There Are No Saints a five-star review on Goodreads. When typing in “serial killer romance” into Google, you’re greeted with listicles titled “Serial Killer Love Stories” and “5 Horrific Serial Killer Romance Books (Psychopath Love Story)”. Lark’s story is one of hundreds being mass-produced for Amazon’s Netflix-esque book subscription service, Kindle Unlimited.

Something that should be said about this novel before the full review: this book is not intended to be ‘good.’ L. Brown, who gave No Saints 4/5 stars on Amazon, says “Just please read the synopsis and content warnings before jumping in. And don’t take it too seriously while you’re reading it. It’s for the best”. This is the nature of these ‘trashy’ romance novels. They are known to be mediocre but incredibly attractive because they are filled to the brim with sexy characters and fantastical smut. This quality designation does not absolve them of criticism, though. But any ‘negative’ aspects books like these can have tend to fall into the rug-sweeping ‘taboo’ category. Toxic relationship? Taboo. Poorly written characters? Also, apparently, taboo. Any piece of criticism these novels receive fade into the background, as loving readers clamor to say, “If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t read it!”

Smut, as a category, is sexually explicit content. Content that could border on assault (or just plain be assault), consensual sex, passionate moments. The more absurd, the better. Quality falls wayside, predictably, as written porn comes to life. What this does to the culture surrounding these romance novels is conjure an immense aura of shame. Women are sly about reading their ‘smutty’ books. Those who do not want to purchase a Kindle (thus discretion), can get books from smut authors who market their novels as having “innocent covers” compared to the traditionally more lewd ones, ex. half-naked men, buff werewolves, women in the throes of passion, etc. While all being romantic in nature, these books boast strong female characters and caring male love interests. Never mind that she is pregnant, homeless, kidnapped, sick. He is a Mafia boss, a professor, a dragon, her step-brother. The core of all of these stories is love and heart, marketed in a very sharp package. Sometimes, though, the package is opened, and the only thing left inside is blood.

There Are No Saints fits perfectly into this ‘smutty’ romance genre. The book details a serial killer obsessing over an up-and-coming artist. The killer, Cole Blackwell (no relation to Edward Cullen or Jacob Black from the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, though Cole is regularly described as very pale and is compared, multiple times, to Dracula), is a famous artist from an old, rich, San Franciscan family. He has no loved ones, emotions, or redeeming qualities. Mara Eldritch (Lark loves a symbolic last name) is a young starving artist, desperate for studio space and traumatized (in a sexy way) by her abusive past. Any other characters in the books are useless, serving only as placeholders for cheap plot points (abusive parents to explain trauma away, best friends being murdered for sexy thrill, etc.).

Romance author Sophie Lark opens No Saints, confessing, in her dedication, “Writing this book was intense therapy for me, dredging up some deep hurts from a long time ago”. Therapy can look like a lot of things for different people - for Lark it looks like a heartfelt statement followed by a book drenched in dubious consent, assault, murder, and abuse. There is no additional satirical or critical layer. If Lark was trying to make commentary about women having to endure in the face of abusive men, she missed that mark entirely and ended up playing directly into it. It’s an unfortunate result to an interesting concept. Instead of Mara  being independent and daring, she has meaningless calls-to-actions that ultimately get snuffed out by the man she apparently is trying to rebel against. It’s a lesson in futility marketed as feminism.

There are No Saints begins in Cole’s point of view (the novel alternates between his and Mara’s), while he is gloomily presiding over an art show, wherein his serial killer rival is also showcasing a piece. His enemy is named Alastor Shaw (possible reference to the chief torturer demon in the hit CW show Supernatural, knowing Lark), an older, uglier man who has been in not only an art battle, but a killing battle, with Cole, for an indeterminate amount of time. The difference between the Good serial killer (Cole) and the Bad serial killer (Shaw) is that Shaw kills women. That’s it. There Are No Saints does not contain a “killer-of-killers” redeemable love interest. Cole kills 14 innocent men, but no women, “I don’t kill women, typically, This is not out of any petty moral constraint. It’s just too fucking easy”.

Enter Mara into the gallery. Described by Cole as “a nobody” wearing “a loose white shift dress” with “battered Docs [that] look older than she is”, she is immediately identified by Cole as an anonymous girl that is dirty and small.  Someone bumps into Mara, spilling wine all over her dress. She runs to the bathroom, Cole thinking she’s trying to wash the stains out of her dress, but this “nobody” returns, doing “quite the opposite: she’s tie-dyed the entire thing”. This quick Project-Runaway-style turnaround is what Lark attempted to do with Mara’s character for the entire novel: be quirky in the face of destruction.

Throughout No Saints, Mara is repeatedly described to be unique. She wears overalls with nothing underneath, she reads Dracula (highlighting only topical quotes for Cole to read when he breaks into her house later), she listens to EDM. She has an abusive mother, no money, and shit luck. These novels, with their unfortunate protagonists, all possess negative traits that are never accompanied by negative  qualities. They want a romance with all of the edge but none of the grit. Mara has “never known what it would be like to swipe a card without wondering if the balance would clear” but has “never starved yet”. She’s down on her luck, but God, not starving-down, that would be unbecoming.

Female protagonists in dark romance novels tend to be either 1) demure, quiet, and inexperienced, or 2) snarky, haughty, and whorish. Either way, their character arc always peaks at becoming as ‘dark’ or ‘twisted’ as their male love interest. Their subsidiary personality traits, like being kind or witty, act as seasoning to their congealment into their boyfriend.

As far as how Mara is interpreted by readers as a character, some, like Ayman’s five-star review of No Saints on Goodreads, regard Mara as: “…so admirable, strong, and will put this psycho in his place when needed. she isn’t the “i can change him” type or the super submissive type that would make me say “stand up girl”. cole does that all on his own. she literally makes him feel regret for the first time for some shit he pulled. and if there’s one thing i’m gonna eat up, is a woman bringing wreaking chaos on a very organized man UNAPOLOGETICALLY!!! the shear revenge she pulls…she’s the puppeteer and he’s the puppet!”

While other people, like Lori, with their one-star rating, disagree, “A sexually aggressive heroine does not a strong heroine make”.

The collision of these characters, Cole, Shaw, and Mara, happens after the gallery showing. After smoking some weed in the alley with one of her friends, Mara is struck on the back of the head and wakes in the trunk of a moving vehicle. Lark then spends a lengthy paragraph detailing the duct tape, bag, zip-ties, and rope used to gag and bind Mara. She gives the readers all the gory details of the kidnapping, details you’d hear on Forensic Files, TikTok compilations, all the warnings women are given about strange men. How to break out of zip-ties, how to find the emergency pull-tab in the trunk (“WHERE’S THE FUCKING LATCH!” wonders Mara), what cuts duct tape. Mara inventories her trauma exactly how someone who likes true crime would want to hear about it.

After drafting this Criminal Minds script in her head, the trunk Mara is in, flings open, “It’s only when the cold air hits my flesh that I realize I’m naked – or at least, partly naked”. How, in this detailed description of her current state, did she not realize she’s naked? The answer is obvious: it wouldn’t be sexy. Mara is dumped in an alley way by a mysterious man. He dressed her in a skimpy BDSM outfit and ‘stripper heels’. Every trauma Mara goes through in No Saints either makes her even more resilient or, just hotter. Before leaving her to die, the man pierces her nipples and slits her wrists. The chapter ends.

Back to Cole, walking home from the gallery and wondering if he’s going to be caught for his most recent kill (he isn’t, the whole situation is forgotten immediately because there has to be room for sexy moments). He stumbles upon Mara, gagged, and bound, and immediately understands her presence in ‘his territory’ as a message from Shaw, “I don’t kill on impulse. I prepare my location. And I never lose control. He hopes I’ll break all three rules”. Ignoring the fact that those three rules are all fundamentally the same, character-wise, Mara becomes a question mark for Cole, “I’ve never killed a woman. I assumed I would at some point, but not some skinny girl, and not in some frenzy of fucking and stabbing like that ghoul Shaw”.

This is where our love birds get introduced. Cole, standing stoically above bleeding Mara, while she whimpers for help, and he thinks of killing her. This is where character development happens, right? This is the moment where we see Cole start his redemption towards Mara? –“I take one last glance at the girl’s beautifully tortured body. Then I step over her and carry on my way”. No. Cole leaves Mara to die. Thus is their meet-cute.

Mara, through sheer power of will (“I’m not dying here. I’m not fucking doing it.”), gets up and survives this murder attempt by Shaw. The rest of No Saints is Cole and Mara orbiting each other, him growing more possessive over someone he thought he watched die, and Mara just needing money and a place to make art. They are, not subtlety, given the Hades and Persephone motif, though Cole expresses his distaste for such obvious reference in the first chapter, insulting a sculpture that has “all the symbolism hitting you over the head”.

As the plot continues, Cole inevitably does something murder-y, like threaten to kill someone Mara has sex with. She does this as revenge, Cole knows, because he puts a camera in her art studio and Mara purposefully has sex with someone else on a giant canvas (that she later hangs in Cole’s office) while making direct eye contact with the security camera the whole time. Cole threatens to kill someone who slapped Mara’s ass (bar is on the ground, as he is already a serial killer), and Mara, throughout, all but gasps and stares.

Lark attempts, again and again, to define Mara’s character. Unfortunately, those definitions tended to be mutually exclusive. For instance, at an art show that Cole demanded Mara wear something specific at (which she rebelled from, saying “Well fuck him, I pick out my own clothes.”), they have an intimate moment after Cole manages to get Mara’s painting sold. She finds herself suddenly attracted to the man that left her for dead, saying “I wanted death. I wanted HIM” (Lark loves using capital letters in place of description). Mara offers a sexual favor to Cole, internally thinking “This is the deal with the devil. He owns me. He controls me”. Then, a mere four sentences later, tells him “I wanted to fuck you. But you don’t own me, Cole. And you never will”. Lark makes it hard to ignore inconsistency in character, especially when it happens on the same page.

Mara and Cole’s relationship can be crudely defined by a phrase Mara tells herself while in one of her many painful contemplations of Cole: “Rage isn’t the same thing as ‘caring’”. Cole is violent, disrespectful, and cruel. He compares having sex with her as being “strapp[ed] into an electric chair”. His redemption comes from the misery he spares Mara from, though it was him putting her in it in the first place. Cole dares to admire the strength Mara has to overcome her trauma, like a predator playing with his meal. Even outside of their interactions with each other, Cole is disrespectful - Mara tells him about when her dad died, saying “I loved my father, the day I lost him was the worst day of my life”. Cole, ever the loving partner, responds with a smile, “The worst day so far”.

Cole, like Mara, is a very contradictory character. Not in a anti-hero, grey-morality-type way. Cole doesn’t make sense in a poorly-written way. His violent profession is emphasized in the beginning of No Saints and used only as a spunky character trait for the rest of the novel. His serial killing distills down into him just being a violent and broken man. Something attractive and fixable. He later starts developing feelings for Mara, “Mara warps who I am. But in the moment, when I’m with her…I like it. I see things I never saw before. I see things, Hell, I even taste things differently”. Mara, just being her, poor, inconsistent self, is curing this man’s murderous instincts. Cole, as someone who didn’t ever kill women, doesn’t make sense to have this redemption arc. Mara is not hard for him, she’s just new. If Shaw fell in love with her and resisted killing her, that would be character development. Cole has not grown, nor has his serial killing done anything for the plot but be shock value. In fact, the mention of the 14 people he killed is rare, and he doesn’t kill again after he meets Mara. He’s never caught, either: “Getting away with murder is pretty fucking easy. Only 63 percent of homicides are solved under the best of circumstances—and that includes the cases where the idiot criminal is literally holding the smoking gun. There are precious few genius detectives, despite what network television would have you believe. I’ve killed fourteen people and I’ve yet to receive a single knock on my door.”

If Cole’s violent crimes are the equivalent to a day job in how they impact his life and intimidate Mara (both meaning, not at all). It brings up the very important question of: why is Cole a serial killer in the first place?

Back in the beginning of No Saints, we see Alastor Shaw make a pass at some young girls at the gallery showing. Cole, watching, thinks to himself, “Alastor’s need disgusts me. He’s such a cliché of himself. College co-eds, for fucks sake.” Cole goes out of his way to snidely mock Shaw, whispering under his breath, “You and Bundy”. This reference to a real-life killer makes the true-crime loving audience that will inevitably devour No Saints feel included – as seen in RenegadeWoman’s five-star review of No Saints on Amazon, “I have never read a book so psychologically dark – except about Ted Bundy”. But what true, narcissistic, sociopath cares about other killers? Especially long dead ones? Lark makes her characters just culturally literate enough for the readers to sit up and go “OMG! I know that reference!”

There Are No Saints is a part of the growing “violent criminal romance” subgenre, something consequential to the recent hyper-popularization of true crime content. Especially on the social media platform TikTok, where it is hard to parse out the difference between fake crime and true crime, and the fans of both tend to be one in the same. So, lines between crime and romance, fact, and fiction, are destined to blur.

Mikayla Raquel, reviewing There Are No Saints on Amazon, says: “what is it about serial unaliver smut that is just sending me into a tizzy lately!! Cole is yummy yummy yummm…now i want a psycho artist unaliver control freak to rent the house across from me and watch my every move and become obsessed with me…and be really rich and sexy LMAO.”

The phrase “unalive” comes from users trying to circumvent TikTok’s rigorous yet unpredictable explicit content tagging system, so “murder/killing/suicide” has transformed into “unalive”. The presence of the word here, in an Amazon review that does not scan for such verbiage, indicates the origin of this person’s exposure to There Are No Saints: BookTok.

“Dark romance”, as a genre, is very popular on ‘BookTok’ (the term coined for the reading community on TikTok), hijacking recommendation lists and Goodreads charts. Most dark romance stories bank on the fact that these readers will be so caught up in the subversion of classic romance tropes that they will not notice the decreasing quality of the writing. It’s a lot of “look at how bad this man is treating this woman, BUT he is also nice to her a few times”. The disparity between these two concepts: abuse, and subsequent love, is what drives the popularity of these novels. They bank on the idea of “he’s an asshole to everyone but me” , while the audience don’t realize the relationship they’re reading about is going far deeper than domestic violence.

Redemption arcs in dark romance novels seem to have no limits. When talking of heterosexual romance, the man can keep the woman locked in a cage (Birdie’s Biker, Misty Walker) or even stalk and sexually assault her (Haunting Adeline, H.D. Carlton). It does not matter, as the man is redeemable, even when he says he’s not. His irredeemability is a character flaw, not an actual plot point. These men are regularly painted as satanic creatures with one soft spot: their woman they abuse. This broadcasts a dangerous message: if a man protects you, he is allowed to hurt you.

Cole does just this, regularly hurting and seducing Mara. The climax of the novel is a sexually explicit scene where Mara, during intercourse, reveals to Cole that she was sexually abused as a child. Cole uses this experience to re-train Mara, even as she says “No, wait!” Her abuse becomes sexual fodder for Cole to manipulate. Though, it works, as afterwards, she “sob[s] again, this time from pleasure and relief”. Thus, Mara and Cole come to a close.

There Are No Saints is, at its core, an unconventional love story. It’s certainly not the best thing ever written, but it sure is entertaining. Mara summarizes the reading experience best, “I’d rather be dead than bored. And heaven sounds pretty fucking boring”. ■

★★☆☆☆

[triforceofawesome]

First review: aw shit you know it's gonna be a webtoon--- my review for the first 3 seasons of Let's Play

spoilers beware

Okay what drew me in to read this was the alleged controversy around it. I don't remember EXACTLY what was said about it but I remember hearing people be like "eugh" about it. So naturally when I had the time, I wanted to see for myself.

While I did enjoy reading the webtoon, I can definitely see where people get the ire from. The fmc is so stupidly sheltered, it's almost frustrating at times. Seriously, in the age of the internet and online gaming how can you, a 22 year old, not know what flavored condoms are used for?

Sam (the fmc) has been sheltered by her family and friends (mainly her father) due to her childhood illnesses and general issues with anxiety/confrontation. While they mean well, it's stunted her growth as an adult woman. Her biggest thing imo is her wrestling with her own self confidence, she says a few times when people ask about her wardrobe, that she feels like "a kid playing dress up" which again, is due to her being sheltered and not given enough space to spread her wings.

The plot is interesting to me! It's new enough to capture my attention but with familiar tropes that I'm like "oho, right up my alley indeed"

Speaking of characters, I STAN MONICA. I love how Monica is written to be sexy and confident, but she doesn't tear down other women to build herself up. It can be SO easy for writers to make characters like Monica into being the one dimensional mean girl antagonist. But Monica only ever uplifts Sam, giving her fashion and relationship advice and is never jealous of Marshall's friendship with her. She's only upset with Marshall when he basically pushes himself overboard trying to play Sam's game that he ended up in the hospital, which again she never blames Sam for it. We love women characters supporting each other.

On the opposite end, is Marshall's older sister Eva. When Marshall is in the hospital, she meets Monica for the first time and is immediately judgemental and catty towards her. Your brother's heart stopped beating and you're gonna be an ass to his girlfriend, um okay then. Also Eva has major daddy issues, which became GLARINGLY obvious when her dad first made an appearance in the webtoon. The man looks like Charles, same eye color and hair style (but the dad's is slightly longer and gray) which makes me think that's why she went after Charles (this has yet to be verified in the webtoon but come on, I have eyes and reading comprehension skills). As of right now I don't like Eva. Nope. Everyone was like "waa waa Charles is a manipulator waa waa" bitch she's literally manipulating Marshall into doing something for their abusive dad.

SPEAKING OF CHARLES.....

I don't care what the haters say, I love this character. I know that Sam will more than likely end up with Marshall but shhhh lemme enjoy Sam/Charles while they're canon. I can't help it y'all, I love a slightly toxic fictional man. (who am I kidding I love all levels of toxic fictional men). They way that chains have been used as a visual for him, makes me think that he will be possessive of Sam at some point and ough I can't wait for the d r a m a. Also Charles checking Sam's phone in the middle of the night and Sam catching him? 👀 I do like how Charles never coddles Sam and actually treats her like an adult. He pushes her outside of her comfort zone (dressing more professional, meeting with clients face to face, the self love exercise he makes her do every morning at work) but also recognizes when she's extremely uncomfortable doing something and doesn't force her to do it (making her propose the project to the game developer company herself, Charles could see that she wasn't there yet so he wasn't going to make her).

Tbh I don't have much to say about Sam/Marshall. They've made each other blush a few times but it wasn't really a romantic type of way?? Just them being awkward nerds to each other + Sam being sheltered. They're still very much in friend territory right now but with the way things left off at the end of season 3 (Marshall is single now, and Sam caught Charles looking at her phone) its only a matter of time before Sam/Marshall becomes the current ship. I DO like him as a character though, don't get me wrong but we'll see how the author goes about a Sam and Marshall romantic relationship.

ALSO...

I read a few reviews where people criticize the Sam/Charles paring because of his age (what is his age???? they never specified in the comic. just that he's old enough to have been married and divorced lmao) and the dynamic that comes with it? While Sam is still very inexperienced with navigating romantic relationships (both physical and emotional aspects), Charles has told her to be the one to initiate being physical so that she can go at her own pace with him. He doesn't want a boyfriend/girlfriend thing (pffff we've seen how that's been working out for him, Sam is literally melting his heart) and has communicated that clear to her from the beginning. I am curious though.....would not a Sam and Marshall romance also have a somewhat unequal power dynamic going on? Marshall might be much closer to her age, but he's a celebrity, she's not. That's a power dynamic imbalance if ever I've seen one lmao.

One thing that really annoys me, and I'm greatly annoyed anytime I see it in any other media...

When we learn that Sam's friend Angela was assaulted, the writer has Angela say how "broken" she feels. This is a pet peeve of mine, and I'm aware that not everyone feels this way and that everyone is entitled to describing their feelings however they want, but for me....I absolutely hate that. Maybe it's my evangelical upbringing but when I'm reading a fic/book/webtoon/whatever, and the writer uses the word broken to describe how a character feels (*especially* when the character has been assaulted) it just gives me MAJOR ick. I'm used to hearing broken in terms of people in a church setting, ex. "you're broken and god fixes broken people." Friends, I don't know how to explain it other than I just do not like it at all. anytime I read/listen to the word broken in reference to a human person, my mind deducts points from the media.

Another thing I must deduct points on is that literally every character (minus 2 people) have the exact same body type. We have 1 plus size male character that is a coworker, and 1 thin female coworker. there isn't much diversity in the recurring characters' bodies, I kid you not 99% of the female characters (except this one coworker) are hour glass bombshells, and 99% of the male characters (except the other coworker) are chiseled with well defined muscles. yes I know what fanservice is but come ON.

anyway overall I did enjoy the webtoon. it has its flaws that I take beef with, but I was entertained nonetheless

[apcthetics]

questions to get to know your oc: jackson michael rhodes edition.

what are their eating habits like ? how do they look after themselves ? do they exercise ? play any sports ?

     jackson must really have really good physical genetics to justify looking the way he does because he doesn’t take very good care of himself at all. depressed, he often times doesn’t have the energy to cook for himself after he’s finished with working so he’ll often not eat all. if he does eat, it’s something that’s fast and generally has no nutritional value, like pasta or cereal. he can cook, on a technicality, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t have reason or interest in doing so. he’s steadily killing his liver. if he didn’t walk everywhere and didn’t spend 5 days of the week lifting bathtubs and plywood frames and granite countertops then he would probably never move from his bed. simply put? he’s sexy for wish fulfilment purposes.

are they a big partier ? do they do drugs, drink alcohol ? what’s their stance on these things ? are they promiscuous ? do they prefer one-night stands, or do they like dating ? what about online dating ? why ?

     an introvert at heart, jackson has never been a partier because he enjoys it. growing up, it was one of the few ways he saw himself capable of self sabotage. he could be out and about and do stupid things and get himself into trouble, all while being in places that made him feel overwhelmed because he thought that was the best punishment for himself- he doesn’t like to give himself the ability to be happy. as he’s gotten older he’s found better, more subtle ways of self sabotage so the interest in going to parties and nightclubs has pretty much diminished to nothing. he’ll only go out in crowds or to events or bars if he’s dragged out by someone else and doesn’t think he have a choice, and although he doesn’t hate it and he usually has fun, it’s definitely not the place he wants to be and he finds excuses to leave early.

he doesn’t do drugs, though that’s not really a moral thing and more just because he never liked the way they made him feel. he drinks enough it could be considered pathetic, but it’s not enough to completely have ruined his life yet. it’s not obvious when he’s drunk, because he doesn’t change outwardly all that much, but his personality loosens slightly and he lowers his guard. he becomes less kinda emotionally distant, more willing to connect or converse with people; and also he’s just kinda clumsy, like definitely knocking shit over and walking into shit. usually he drinks when he’s out with people (as they all do also), but also when he’s dealing with a lot of shit mentally and emotionally and wants to not be conscious and go to sleep at 6pm without having to deal with all the thoughts that are swarming his brain.

the further i get away from the village and the more that i get to develop him in the ways that i want and not the ways that people expect from him, the less of an outright obvious slut this man gets (alistair & brady have instead claimed that title.) that being said, he’s still full of commitment issues and yet a desperate need to be wanted, and that pretty much makes a case for him still being a whore. he’s done one-night stands, he’s done friends with benefits, he’s ghosted women, he’s caused problems, all that shit. i wouldn’t necessarily consider him a flirt because i don’t think he actively seeks that kind of shit out anymore (he definitely did when he was younger) but rather he’s smart, good with words and pretty so right place, right time and he wouldn’t back off from an opportunity. he definitely does have a habit though of attracting either ‘ i can fix you ‘ types or just real toxic people, and those are generally the only two kind of women to stick around for long enough for him to cause any real damage to their relationship (until giselle.)

online dating is an absolute no. he doesn’t like to be perceived on the internet and then also doesn’t really want to date anybody, so why would he bother?

what hobbies do they have ? what do they spend most of their free time doing ? how did they get involved in those things ?

     i feel like i’ve talked so much about jackson’s hot boy hobbies i probably don’t need to talk about them anymore. just to cover this question, most his free time (when he’s awake and has nothing else to do) is spent reading- he reads on the subway, he reads during his lunch breaks, he reads when he’s just hanging out at home and even sometimes when he’s dragged out to see lu and bowie he brings his book because he doesn’t really want to talk to them, no. he’s always been a reader, like literally from the time he learned to read, mostly as a coping mechanism and because it passes the time. he’ll pick up just about anything, though he’ll really only buy used books. he also less frequently plays guitar, something he’s done on and off since he got his first one for christmas when he was sixteen. he tends to drop it when he has mental health episodes because he can’t be bothered to learn anything or practice, and then slowly get back into it the more that he starts to recover.

what is their favourite place to be ? where do they spend most of their time if not at home ? why ?

     for a depressed man who doesn’t like to leave his apartment, he spends a lot of time at the library that’s near his house. it’s probably the place he spends the most time besides his apartment, and mainly because it’s quiet and because a man can only buy so many books before he runs out of space. he’s there probably at least once a week, and the librarians definitely know him by name. there’s definitely also some used book stores where they just know who he is because he goes in there and browses for like, hours, only to dig out the most obscure novel they didn’t even quite realize they had and buy it.

i also do picture him as a museum person but specifically like, niche and history museums. he’s not an art museum person, because he does not understand art in the slightest and that definitely annoys him as someone who prides themselves on being able to learn anything, but other museums are fair game. he’d be the kind of person to notice in an ad on the subway that some museum had a new exhibit and go by himself on a day off to just be nosy about it, because he is just 80 years old.

he also spends a lot of time at bowie’s shop, i think, when he’s feeling relatively stable. whether it be just fixing things that need fixing or just kind of being a nuisance. this is definitely the place where he’s most annoying about amari… to amari… this is off topic and obviously can be veto’d but her record store feels like the kind of place where members of the scooby doo crew hang out so often that people mistake them for staff and they’re able to just answer questions for people, you know? anyway.

anyway mostly i think his favourite places to be are outside of the city. he doesn’t like crowds and his apartment is often a revolving door for the people who know him, so if he has a few days off in a row, he’ll absolutely take one of them to just go upstate and go hiking or go to the ocean or something by himself to just think or read or whatever else he does.

what kind of music do they listen to ? do they listen a lot, or just once and a while ? how do they listen ?

     i have a playlist of music that has the energy of what jackson listens too and yes, in typical millennial white man fashion it is all old rock songs, we don’t need to talk about how boring he is, i already know. he definitely listens to the radio a lot, because his car is old enough to not have any sort of usb hookup and when he’s working it just makes sense to have the radio playing instead of anything else.

he has a vinyl player but it’s a really old, second hand one that he got when it was broken and turned into a personal project in order to fix it. it’s not like, very clear and yes it does skip a lot but he fixed it, damn it, and he’s very proud and will inform anybody who asks because although there are very few things that he’s proud of, this is one of them. it’s basically one of the few ways that he listens to music; he’s more of a silence over background noise kind of person, so when he’s walking or anything like that he doesn’t listen to anything. it’s just when he’s doing something to keep his hands busy or in the car.

can they drive ? do they like driving ? what’s their car like ?

     of all my characters, it would be hilarious if jackson didn’t have his license just because of his backstory but no, he does have his license and he has the oldest, shittiest car in existence. his very first car he bought back in seattle with money he had saved up. he ran it into the ground running away from his problems, and personally the idea of him getting stranded in the middle of nowhere and having bought the car he currently has from the sketchiest gas station man entertains me. he’s running this one into the ground too but mainly because he insists on fixing everything himself and he really shouldn’t be.

he’s definitely a good driver because he’s had a lot of practice, and driving down highways or open roads he really enjoys it. but he hates driving within the city because it’s incredibly stressful and he does not trust that his car won’t just break down in the middle of a busy new york intersection and that just sounds like hell he doesn’t wanna deal with. most of his day-to-day travelling is either by walking or he takes public transportation- the only time he drives inside the city on a day-to-day basis is if someone else needs him too. there are a lot of headcanons of giselle either asking jackson to drive her somewhere or to pick her up, which he would do, and then i also imagine that if anyone called him needing a ride home from somewhere he’d drop what he was doing and go (even if he acted as though it was a huge inconvenience.)

i also imagine he’s one of the ones who gets stuck driving for any headcanons that involve the gang going anywhere.

are they an animal person ? did they have animals growing up ? do they have animals now ?

     jackson didn’t really care about animals all that much before duchess. he doesn’t like dogs (some might say he’s scared of them), but he’s also always been so prepared to run and so uncertain of where he’s going to be tomorrow that a pet just seemed like way too much commitment for him. his brothers and whatnot would always beg for a dog or something when he was a kid but it just sounded like a lot of work to someone who had never been very good at taking care of himself, and then once he was on the move a pet would have been just one more thing he had to feed and look after and when he was on the road or living in his car it would’ve been to difficult for him to manage.

he’s the kind of person definitely to give a few pets to any strays or like, bodega cats that he stumbles across but until duchess he never wanted a pet of his own. that being said, him and duchess are absolutely besties, don’t let him tell you otherwise. she has claimed a whole side of his bed and he lets her, and she’s constantly climbing in his lap, and he talks to her. like picture a fully grown man on the floor drinking by himself and telling his cat all about his problems. it’s pathetic but it’s the truth, that’s him and duchess when they’re alone.

duchess has also done a lot of good for him mentally, though it wouldn’t be entirely obvious nor would he admit it. actually talking things out loud, even if it is to a cat (therapussy but make it literal) instead of just ignoring it and letting it fester is very beneficial to someone’s mental health. she’s also a reason to get out of bed, and while he’d be likely to avoid going to the grocery store for long periods of time because he doesn’t really care if he eats, if duchess needs food he’s more likely to go out. just overall very good for him.

what’s their social media presence like ? what platforms do they use ? do they have a lot of followers ? what do they post ?

     jackson’s definitely not really a social media person whatsoever. he doesn’t like photos being taken of him, so most of the photos that exist of him are either blurry as he tries to dodge out of the way or he’s trying to block himself somehow. do not perceive him. if you ask him about it he probably has some rant about social media companies and the government and whatever other rebel without a cause nonsense he has to talk about.

he does have a facebook account from when facebook was like, first created but it literally has never been used. there is one photo from like 2007, no posts, and the only reason it’s not deactivated is because his foster mom back in seattle found him on it and now it’s the only way she sends him updates about what his family is doing, even if he doesn’t reply to the messages.

he also does have twitter, but he isn’t very active on it and the only people he knows that he follows are lu and bowie because they made him. he doesn’t have a profile picture, he doesn’t ever tweet or retweet anything, he literally only uses it because newspaper aren’t a valid way to get news anymore and he likes to keep up with what’s going on in the world.

what’s their job like ? how did they get it ? do they like it ? do they hate it ? why ?

     the kind of construction/manual labour he’s in (mostly in renovation though sometimes in building) is incredibly taxing work and it’s probably very hard on his body and his health, however jackson does really like what he does. he’s had the opportunity to do a bunch of different jobs in different sectors, especially as someone with not even a high school diploma, and this is one of the better ones. there’s a lot to hate about it, and he works really weird hours, but it is the kind of job where all that’s expected of him is to work with his hands and that’s something he’s absolutely capable of doing. he’s smart enough that dimensions and blueprints and things aren’t difficult, but all he has to do is put things together or move things where they’re supposed to go, and everybody is happy. it also is, in some ways, another form of punishment for himself, as he’s able to push his body to a lot of physical limits and it’s exhausting and it’s hard, and it kind of wipes his mind blank because he doesn’t have to think about anything else.

that being said, he doesn’t like any part of his job where he’s forced to interact with other people. small jobs where he’s mostly working on his own are fine, but a lot of renovation is working with people who will constantly change the plans on him and he just has to shut up and let them. he also has mostly no interest in interacting with his coworkers so he just comes off as an asshole like, all the time. to everyone. i don’t imagine he’s very well liked.

what’s their family like ? is it close ? is it big ? how often do they see each other ?

     oh, another excuse to talk about jackson’s family? because i need one. despite the fact he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see let alone speak to them again, he absolutely keeps tabs on all of his siblings from seattle, and he always has. his mom has made that easier of the years as she’s started to send him messages every once and a while about a get together, or a baby being born or someone getting married or going to college, but even before that he would check up on them just once and a while when he was feeling nostalgic. because he doesn’t really have an online presence they don’t have any way to keep tabs on him, but at the very least they know he’s alive because it shows him as reading the messages his mom sends.

since sophie is now kind of an npc i have a little bit morepower over their relationship and thus can adjust. mainly i just think there’s a lot more tension in their relationship, and although it’s almost nice to be around someone who already knows everything and therefore he doesn’t have to explain himself, it’s still obvious that he has a lot of work to do to get back in her good graces; that’s work he isn’t totally sure that he’s willing to put in, but for now, he’s doing his best in seeing her every once and a while, and doing his best to help her out when he can. i kind of want to have his brother, sophie’s twin, come to visit her in new york and have them run into each other and have a situation where he basically has to confront all of the hurt and pain he caused, and force him to reconcile with that and have that be the catalyst in him reaching out to them again. jackson has a habit of running from his problems so he doesn’t see the consequences, but when he does have to see the consequences and can’t just delude himself into believing people are better off without him, that’s kind of where actual change comes.

i also do eventually want to do a plot where his biological mother dies and he’s forced to go back to the apartment he lived in as a kid in seattle and face those demons, the abandonment and the childhood neglect and the realization that he doesn’t want to end up like her at the end because she was completely alone, but that’ll be for the future.

what’s their mental state like ? what are their insecurities ? what parts of themselves do they like the most ? how would they describe themselves ?

     this bad boy is so full of mental illness where do i even start. honestly, though, despite clearly having some brand of severe depression, both genetic and caused by trauma, i don’t think he’s necessarily miserable all the time or totally aware of how unhappy he is. he is just kind of mentally numb, like he’s sucuumbed to the idea of who he is and what his life is, and he has no energy to try and change it, so he just doesn’t acknowledge any of it. like he’s just kind of waiting for the day he’s dead like his parents and nobody will really miss him, so in the meantime he’s just gotta go through the same old routine, day in and day out. he goes through phases where he’s somewhat okay, probably improving a little bit, and making more of an effort to see the handful of people who matter to him, but then he’ll slip right back into the bad place and go back to self sabotage and isolation and generally wanting to be left alone.

his opinion of himself is absolutely piss poor and while i wouldn’t necessarily consider him insecure, he’s definitely convinced that he’s broken beyond repair and definitely not worthy of love or anything like that. he’s messed up in ways he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to fix, both because of his DNA and because at this point, he’s almost midway through his life with no improvement, and he’s just waiting to succumb to whatever gets him. almost like he’s given up on living and is just surviving by going through the motions he’s got to go through. a lot of this has to do with feeling just generally really alone (something he’s felt his whole life) and also everytime he messes up, or hurts someone, he holds that guilt against himself, which only furthers the self fulfilling prophecy.

that being said, i do think jackson thinks he’s hot shit. that sounds like it contradicts the last paragraph, but like, while he doesn’t think he’s worthy of love he doesn’t think himself totally despicable. he sees himself for what he thinks he is: a fun time, but purely surface level. the whole facade of being the cool guy who doesn’t give a shit about anything isn’t totally made up, and he can be pretty arrogant when it comes to the way he looks or how smart he thinks he is, but there’s no point in trying to love him because he’s not long-term material. when i wrote him with ara there was a lot of him knowing that she would call him for a good time and he could provide that, but she never saw him as stable or comfortable (the things that he does desperately want- someone who will just love him despite everything) and so he just doesn’t think that’s what people wants from him. it’s his concern with giselle, too: she thinks she has an idea of who he is, because he knows he can be fun and charming (he uses it to his advantage all the time) but he also thinks he’s all sorts of fucked up and just destined to hurt people. that quote that says something like “i’ve manipulated every person who’s ever loved me into loving me, so that must make me an incredible liar or very difficult to love.”