#ultimately i think none of this matters because the only redemption that's possible for the ratgrinders is when those sigils are removed

[unlikablefemaleprotagonist]

i don't really want to get too logical about it, but perhaps another "above the table" reason for this battle not being centered around getting redemption for the ratgrinders is because this is a show meant for public consumption and "persuade your enemies to desert their cause and join you" was literally the trick of the final combat for the last intrepid heroes season. maybe there was an implicit understanding among the cast that the same gimmick would be perceived by some as being repetitive

and honestly?? i think the neverafter team had a helluva lot better shot converting the princesses to their side than any of the bad kids had in this battle. key members of the squad (okay, not tim, rip his conversation with rapunzel) made inroads with the princesses through good faith interaction with many of them earlier in the season. elodie and mira were the easiest gets because of elodie's history with gerard and mira's lack of true devotion to the cause, but ylfa had a genuine SHOT with la bete and pinocchio got very close with cinderella (who i think may have come over anyway once her allies were down, if i remember right?)

but there isn't a single ratgrinder they have that kind of relationship with. they've been pretty out-and-out hostile, despite moments such as adaine saving ruben from disintegrate and kristen offering maryanne gifts. maaaaybe you could make an argument for ruben and wanda, but brennan pointed out that once wanda showed up with his enemies and ATTACKED ruben's friends, it was over. oisin seemed like a potential option earlier in the season, but then he pulled the rug out from under adaine and tried to murder the entire student body via nepotism. there was no friendly relationship left to capitalize on after that. and maryanne has been characterized as having such an impenetrable mental wall that it's hard to guess where's she's at, even for the other ratgrinders.

plus, there's the whole basic conceit that the ratgrinders' minds are not completely their own. their agency has been traded away to a nameless god of rage. who's to say any persuasion check could overcome that? honestly, i think if it was a realistic play, brennan would have encouraged the players to try it, like he explicitly did for neverafter, laying out a mechanic for it. maybe we'd know more if kristen hadn't gotten a nat 1 on her buddy insight check, but i think that was the moment that any diplomatic level to this combat went out the window, because the dice dictated that kristen couldn't see buddy in there, and to willfully push ahead with that line of thinking would have been close to meta-gaming. they are playing characters as faithfully as possible, and those characters are stressed-out kids! they don't have the same emotional maturity of a 32-year-old divorced frog prince who really wants to be amicable with his ex-wife

[thevideogameshutterbug]

Marvel's Spider-Man 2 (PS5) Thoughts - Beginning At The End

No photos this time (I might add a few later). But I've got a lot of thoughts (and photos) about this game now that I'm finishing it up, but I just got finished my last sidequest in the postgame and I wanted to gush about it.

Spoilers, by the by. Quite a few of them.

----

The Mysteriums were a lopsided a pain the ass but man am I glad I saved this quest for last.

I've been thinking a lot about how much this game seeks to embody why Peter's beliefs in having empathy for the people he fights and getting to know who these villains are as people matters, and this quest - as well as Quentin Beck's final words to cap off the story - are such a perfect capper to that.

Nothing is as it seems, especially when you look at heroes and villains. Anything can change for anybody faster than you could ever realize it. When you take the masks off, it's all people making decisions. A good person can go down a dark path, a bad person can decide they no longer want to be that person any more. Not everyone is going to, but it's important to know that such a thing is always possible.

Heck, this game has an almost ''unprecedented'' number of reformed villains for a superhero franchise: Sandman, Mysterio, Tombstone, Mr. Negative, Prowler technically Lizard, all people who understand they did wrong and whose only motivation now is trying to make their way in the world going forward.

Jonah has a podcast early in the game where he insists that people never really change (about either Sandman or Lizard, iirc), advocating for criminals to be just kept in prison in perpetuity (which, I like this version of Jonah, but goddamn is he hard to like sometimes). Wraith advocates just killing these guys because naturally they're never going to change and they might as well be removed from the equation. And naturally, Symbiote Peter eventually starts considering the idea that maybe the best way forward is just to kill everybody who could be a threat.

But this game doesn't just counterpoint that by having its ultimate evolution be monstrous like most superhero works: instead, this game makes a strong point of why that mentality doesn't work - this is a fantasy story, but it's also a good point for real life.

Coming from a law family where I had a lot of interaction with formerly incarcerated people, and living in an inner city relationship where - again - anything can happen to skew a person's life in ways nobody thought they would go, it's not just a more realistic point - it's an essential point: people always change, and any belief otherwise is just an excuse not to examine the world around oneself. They can change for the worse, they can change for the better, or just kind of laterally shift, but they always change. A failure to recognize it is a failure of the self, not the other.

There's a strong trend of former villains in this game being taken advantage of by other villains, with the new villains doing so with the expectation that nobody will come to the former villains' aid, trust them, or aid them in any way (Mysterio's partners try to frame him, Tombstone and Negative get abducted by people who were sure no one would come for them, Sandman gets driven mad and dumped onto the city to be tossed into prison). And it's absolutely amazing to be Spider-Man in this game and be the one who fights tirelessly for everybody, even the people who have spurned their chances before, because that's who Spider-Man is.

Even if their stories still don't always end positively. Because it's still the right thing to do it, and it's a worse crime to stop.

Man, I love Spider-Man.

As a final note, I especially like that none of the former villains really expect to be forgiven and several never are. This might be the philosopher in me talking, but it's not in forgiveness that one finds redemption, but in the capacity of change in and of itself.

[plumsaffron]

Bruh peeps convincing themselves that Wallflower Blush originally intended to erase all of Sunset Shimmer's friends memories or deserved to be punched in the face because she disrupted Sunset redemption completion or saying all her fault cause she used memory stone.

None of this was originally intended. The events are influenced based on each situation. Originally it was to teach her a lesson because she sees her as fake and the rest as fooled (and unfortunately thanks to Trixie for unintentionally giving a reminder which started this Forgotten Friendship story).

Yes please punch the girl. It would look beautiful after Sunset made Wallflower possibly think she might have actually changed because she actually thought the garden thing would be okay to include. Only for really Sunset did it to distract Wallflower to get close and grab her arm and go into Wallflower's memories. Yes please punch the girl who's mind has been invaded. Please seek that when she decided even after the memory skimming invasion that she would tell Sunset and Trixie Lulamoon what's been going on in her for so long. Already she's not okay, clearly in that giving up low feeling that there is hope for herself reminds consistent. What's said is consistent as the skimmed memories. Only for her to discover they ignored hearing her out with Sunset doing the worst in this case again as she discovers she's been going into her bag. Then Sunset's like what did I do to you. I don't even know you. Oh dear. Sunset forgetting her history really sucks even if she's a better person now or rather forgetting previous movies or specials (especially Rainbow Rocks). Then how Wallflower sees Sunset makes Sunset triggered but unfortunately her deciding to become aggressive only reinforces what Wallflower see's Sunset as truly unchanged, only feigned. Then later on Sunset understanding and trying to reach her was a bit too late and the environment with her friends in the background doesn't help either. Wallflower is irritated because it appears nothing she did mattered cause it appears Sunset always had a way of averting things. That's why Wallflower decided to go after previously erasing their good memories to all of her friends high school memories. So Sunset would experience what it's completely like to be Wallflower.

Blah blah blah she disrupted Sunset's work of being finally redeemed. Good she disrupted it cause it actually helped Sunset in the long run facing the ghosts of her past and overcoming the ultimate representation of the ghosts of her past, Wallflower.

It doesn't matter of her memory stone getting carried away confession. She's been invisible and treated as such way before the memory stone was found. Why is that so difficult to accept that the stone was mere a small snack finally consumed after years of a main course consumed reoccurrence (that's probably been since at most, possibly the 3rd grade)?

Splendid. Do get mad a Wallflower after deciding to open up about her past and retaliating after being ignored by who should be listening and Wallflower being reinforced again in her eyes of what she sees as true. Also shame cause she was trying to get Sunset's attention while Sunset was busy singing earlier in time.

[nissakii]

Significance of “Madness” in anime

We’ve already established in other posts about significant emotions and concepts in anime or specific media before. The Significance of losing or the one of visuals and metaphors in Haikyuu!! are some of those I would love to mention here, but today we shall delve into a broader topic that goes more along the lines of Makii’s thrilling post about Danganronpa and the Significance of Despair.

Today, our topic of interest is madness.

To ease your mind, in this post we will be talking about the representation of insanity and madness in some anime characters and how that reflects on the story and ourselves as an audience.To make one thing clear, a lot of the times we see overexaggerated versions of unstable characteristics in anime that aren’t realistic.

This is in no way a discussion about actual mental illnesses and not a professional approach to analysing them to our real life standards, but maybe a start to an interesting discussion about how we portray and handle what one may colloquially call “craziness”.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s start!

Artists, and no matter for example if they write or draw, use their platforms to deliver messages in cryptic ways. As humans, we have the innate ability to look at something and consume the facts through entertainment which makes us crave new media to follow and analyse.

We love to question things instead of just taking them as they are, and that is why most writers out there will play around with the perception of their audience.

You may be familiar with the common question that ghosts through your head as you enjoy the latest episode of your favorite anime.

Why did he do that? Is she a traitor? What makes them think that way?

Although one might always do it consciously, we most definitely analyse whatever media we consume and decide for ourselves if it is important enough to keep in mind for future reference.

What the writer or founder of the anime ultimately wants from the reader is a reaction.

No matter what they intend to do with it, if they enjoy the viewer getting excited or traumatised is not of importance, but a reaction is evidently one of the goals. 

And as strong emotions always evoke an even stronger reaction, anime characters are often very idealized and have ideologies that make them want to do one particular thing.

Be it save the world or destroy it, we focus and look at these characters and root for them if they give us a reason to do so. 

Both sides of good and bad can have deeply rooted admiration drawn out of us, and it sometimes doesn’t even matter because the more interesting part is the lovely grey area in between. 

We need a balance of good and bad to enjoy both.

Empathy makes us viewers want to relate to the characters, and if the author gives us the possibility to learn why someone does something, it gets harder and harder to dislike them. That’s why tragic backstories and flashbacks are such an overused tool in anime, because with the extreme behaviour some characters show they also need equal amounts of redemption.

We attach ourselves emotionally to characters depending on our personal tastes as well.

If someone likes and relates to a strong and independent protagonist who would drop anything for the sake of justice, you will find a lot of resembling characters in shounen for example.

On the other hand, if a darker or more obsessive character manages to take over a special place in a viewer’s heart, putting them on a pedestal gets more and more interesting, because you’re not supposed to.

Contrary to that, characters with insane or dark personality traits are often very popular, again tracing this back to human instinct of emphasising with wronged characters and curiously inspecting the fully deranged ones.

As this isn't something that should be put into vague concepts, we’re instead going to look at examples of characters and entities that are seen as ‘mad’ and how they’re interpreted.

It’s not just about villains being unreasonably immoral in this post, as we look into what madness entails and how it's shown, we also have some examples of corruption to look at.

So of course there are the typical evil-thinking evil-doing villains out there. 

Some of them have an actual backstory to make them more realistic and believable, some others are just pure evil. While they are often called mad for their actions to achieve their goal, the reason why they are put into that light is the stark contrast between the protagonist and the villain.

If the protagonist loves to save people and always has a smile on his face, of course he will differ from his counterpart when he finds out that his methods are a bit more vicious.

The protagonist perceives the villain as insane most of the time, but what does the viewer think?

We seek to look not only at characters that are enjoyable to watch, but also try to find similarities between us and them or draw lines in their behavior to understand them better. As mentioned before, empathy plays a huge role here as well, since whatever happens in anime doesn't have actual repercussions, we can forgive characters more easily. 

For example when they are taken by Insanity as a side effect rather than being insane due to trauma, we often get an 'ally turned traitor' trope through hypnosis or brainwashing, which is just as interesting to look at. 

If a person did something horrible under the influence of something they had no control over, are they still to blame? 

Does Insanity only involve a separate entity that comes from evil, or are we also looking at the gradual descent into darkness when life just isn't the same anymore? 

Insane and with no fear: Soul Eater

A great example of how insanity plays with characters be they good or bad is Soul Eater. 

With a premise that one needs a sound mind and body to inhibit a sound soul, we obviously know that people close to becoming Kishin-eggs will have a rotten soul drenched in bad deeds, but what about the good guys? 

In this instance we have a lot of different types of madness and insanity that touches multiple characters at different times, and by far the most drastic would be the black blood. 

The black blood being a synthesized weapon form of blood that can change form and harden into shape, is a weapon made by Medusa and introduced for the first time with Crona. He was melded together with Ragnarök as a weapon and used the black blood in his proficient fighting style. 

Soul Eater as well as Maka and other characters later come into contact with the black blood, and the consequence of the immense strength that comes with it is debilitating madness. 

As explained in the anime, the madness makes one deny the soul of oneself and others and takes away your fear. Now with no fear present, the person exhibits extremely erratic behavior and is not scared to hurt others or themselves.

This is an insanity that shows how essential a person's fear is, shown by Maka in one of the latest episodes when she fights Asura. The fact that she learned how to accept her own fear and realise that humans need it to survive is why insanity in Soul Eater is merely a concept to differentiate between what is human and what is Kishin. 

A Kishin kills and murders with no fear of anything. 

A human protects and masters one's own fear. 

The power hungry insanity: Hunter x Hunter

In Hunter x Hunter we have a lot of characters that don't exactly fit the norm of human action. 

With people like Chrollo, Illumi and even Chimera Ants there is enough crazy to go around. 

Still, the character we shall delve into to look at a different kind of instability is none other than Hisoka Morow.

Yes, in comparison to black blood madness Hisoka is an actual human being with no known influence outside of his own intellect. The contrary to another weapon or entity making someone insane is being shown in this anime.

Hisoka is just insane. 

We have no means to see if there is anything that might have caused Hisoka to be the way that he is, but what we do know is that his character is almost too nonchalant for his own good. 

His goal is to accumulate power and fight others that he seems worthy, as that is what attracts him. No person is spared if he believes he found a worthy opponent he will make that clear to them and pursue them passionately. 

We could rule that the clown is just eccentric, but with the given information from the anime he definitely had some sort of mental difference next to his peers. Harming himself holds no problem to him, and his behavior is deeply rooted only to suit himself. He has no self-preservation except for when he needs to accomplish something, and he even enters the spiders just to get close to Chrollo. 

Now we see a single person carry themselves throughout a story only to achieve one thing: a good fight. 

After having looked at these two examples of insanity in anime, let's look at how that insanity can be portrayed visually. 

A famous way to show someone's psychosis is the “Kubrick stare”. A directorial technique that got named after the director Stanley Kubrick who used a forward tilt of the head with eyes locked onto the camera to show the actors of his movies at their peak of madness. It became a very popular stylistic device and is used still very often in modern movies.

The character is supposed to look menacing, evil-plotting and absolutely unhinged.

Such devices, if used often enough, automatically invoke the message to the viewer.

If you’ve seen the Kubrick stare once in a psychotic character, you will definitely associate it with the same derangement again.

In anime we have a similar thing, and you might be aware of this already.

Familiar with the ‘eye angle just before a character goes insane’ meme?

It’s a running gag that shows multiple characters such as Asura from Soul Eater, Pain from Naruto, Light from Deathnote and Jason from Tokyo Ghoul in a frame where you can only see their eyes and it somehow looks extremely grotesque as if they were looking into different directions with their eyes.

As much as it is a joke, it is a perfect example of something extremely similar to the Kubrick stare used in anime culture. It goes so far that if any anime watcher would see a new character look like in a frame, one would assume they were about to go crazy.

Even Oikawa Tooru from Haikyuu!! was shown with a Kubrick stare in the last moments of the second Seijoh vs. Karasuno game, when his desire to win overtook him with incredible force.

Without loss there naturally can’t be any wins, and without sadness there will be no joy in laughter.

We need the different depictions of what one might call madness, to fill our stories with nuance that relies on our reality.

Be it an unknown entity, hunger for power, lack of fear or the good old fashioned thrive for world domination.

Madness is just another part of what we call life, and to be honest in healthy doses and for effect why not enjoy it in anime?

Now, do you guys know any other characters or concepts in anime that would be worth mentioning? I would love to see them in the comments! 

Until then, stay sane!

-Nissa

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 139 Review Part I: On Eren Jeager and Genocide

Why?

Why is this happening?

Folks, I’m going to be honest here: there are no words for this. The main thrust of this chapter is completely inexplicable. It’s stupid. It’s ill conceived. FML.

Just…just the term itself is laughable.

Eren redemption arc.

Sksksksksksksksksksksk

After everything he’s done, everyone he’s killed, you’re going to try redeeming Eren in the final chapter?

Eren didn’t need to be redeemed. He was a bullheaded kid who didn’t let anyone stop him from doing what he thought needed to be done. He sees the titans outside the walls as enemies to be exterminated. When he learns that his real enemies are other humans, who have a right to freedom as much as he does, he can’t accept it and decides to just exterminate them too. That mindset led him down a tragic path of genocide.

That’s not a bad character arc!

In fact, I’d say it’s very compelling. Nonconformity and obstinance are often presented as virtues; flipping that paradigm on its head and showing the vices of those virtues was legitimately smart and provocative.

Making people rethink what traits are virtues and vices is a great moral to the story, and it paired well with the other moral of cooperation and loving your fellow people.

Then this chapter came out, and they threw all that away.

Eren’s arc once made me think of Aristotle, who argued that true virtue lied between extremes: neither too submissive nor too rebellious.

Now Eren’s arc makes me think of pseudointellectual 4chan philosophy, and dumb teenagers: “He’s not a bad guy, he’s just human!!!”

Eren’s motivations are a mess now. He had no free will, but he also had a plan, but deep down he wanted to do the rumbling no matter what, but actually he really wanted to be with Mikasa.

Oh, and B T dubs, he killed his mom too.

You can tell Isayama is desperate to make Eren as sympathetic as possible to justify making him the anti-hero because he’s throwing everything he can pull out of his ass at Eren.

Really, though, all he ended up doing was smearing shit on the character.

Eren’s plan was to kill a significant part of the human population so the world wouldn’t be as overwhelming a threat as before. Simultaneously, he planned (“planned”) for the alliance to become vaunted heroes to the world when they killed him, thus paving the way to peace.

This…makes no sense?

There is no reason Eren should have believed this would work. During the battle of Trost, Pixis asked him if humanity could unite if threatened by a common enemy. Eren said no.

Eren is a pessimist about people. He sees how much the walldians fought with each other and concluded that people would always be at odds.

And the Tybur family helped defeat the Eldian Empire, but only the Tyburs were seen as heroes by the Marleyans. That good will was not imputed from the Tyburs to the other Eldians on the continent. There’s no reason to think that would happen here when it didn’t back then.

I’m assuming, anyway, that the alliance becoming heroes is supposed to lead to a world where Paradis is safe since that’s supposed to be Eren’s goal.

I’m willing to grant that maybe this part of Eren’s plan was more of a hope on his part. Peace would come only after his death, so he can’t truly “plan” for anything afterwards.

I think it’s safe to say that killing the world’s population was the main part of his plan, since that’s the part he had the most control over.

To the extent he had any control over his actions, which brings me to the next point.

So, turns out Eren had no free will.

Can you not feel Isayama’s desperation?

After all the awful things Eren’s done, Isayama’s brilliant idea to make him sympathetic is to strip him of all agency.

This is done by two routes throughout the chapter.

The first is by building him up as a victim. Eren’s mind is fucked; he can’t really control himself. Any decent person would feel pity for him, which is reinforced by the sorrow Armin visibly feels for him.

Then, like a shotgun blast to the face, we are told that Eren killed his mother in a moment that is clearly supposed to endear us to him.

This is such a transparent appeal for our sympathy. Isayama’s desperation leaps off the page and mugs us of it.

The only thing that this revelation adds to the story is that it gives Armin a reason to take up Eren’s hand, and show him support. You can see Armin’s heart breaking for Eren in that moment.

That’s mostly why this is here: to give the mass murderer a hard luck story so our hearts melt for him.

The second route is that depriving Eren of agency absolves him of blame for what he did.

Eren beat Armin bloody, but you can’t really blame him for it. He was drugged out on the Founding Titan and didn’t want to do it. He was acting on impulse, just going with the flow, so he deserves, at the very least, some leniency.

Eren both having a plan and not having much in the way of free will is contradictory. Everyone still talks about Eren as if he’s someone who is doing stuff even though we’re told he’s not really capable of rational decision making.

I’m going to be nice and assume Isayama’s intent is that when you parse this all out, you end up in a place where Eren is not truly responsible for what he did, and in any event this all ended with the titan curse broken and the world at peace, sooooo break out the champagne everyone, we achieved world peace!

…

Yeah, bub, I’m not partying right now.

Isayama’s ploy to absolve Eren of blame didn’t work. Eren is still responsible for the people he killed and his Founding Titan lobotomy counts for shit. Turns out it helps to know how free will works when you’re writing about free will.

Free will is the quality of being in control of your actions, at least to the extent necessary to be held responsible for them.

Eren was just going with the flow (wonder what Annie thought of that…), acting on impulse, and getting dragged along by fate, but that’s not actually important.

It’s been known for centuries that current events are caused by previous events and that the current events will bring about future events in a never ending chain of cause and effect. One domino causes another to fall causes another to fall and on and on. This is called determinism.

And that’s ok because we free will exists. It exists even if we can’t do anything other than what we are going to do. It exists in spite of, or even arises out of, determinism.

This premise, that free will and determinism are not mutually exclusive, is the foundation for a family of theories about free will called compatibilism.

Compatibilist free will is the most popular theory of free will. There are a couple of variations on the basic idea, but the gist is that free will exists when your actions can be linked to an aspect of yourself that you identify with.

For example, if you had no choice but to do something, but you’re ok with that because it’s what you wanted anyway, then you have free will.

Even if I didn’t know you’d stop me in the end, I think I still would have flattened this world. 

-Eren Jeager

That’s all I needed to hear.

EREN, FUCK YOU!!!!

Eren had free will, at least as much as necessary to blame him for his genocide.

Isayama threw this curveball at us and all it did was ruin Eren as a character while leaving him just as repugnant as before. Incredible. It’s the worst of both worlds.

Before this chapter Eren was a guy who believed in something and followed that belief no matter who got in his way. That was great! It was tragic and sad, but great storytelling.

Where does this chapter leave us?

What we learn in this chapter is that Eren didn’t really believe in anything. He may have free will enough to be a shithead for what he did, but that doesn’t mean he has free will enough to be an interesting character.

Eren coming to grips with him not being free, in an absolute sense, would have been so much more interesting than what we got. Eren started the series comparing humanity to cattle in a pen. He ends the series being literally sheparded by fate to his death like cattle to a slaughterhouse.

And yet we get no exploration of that at all.

It’s lame. Everything about this is lame. From a storytelling perspective, Eren was just along for the ride. Who would want to reread this series now? A story about a boy who’s quest for freedom neither ends tragically nor happily, but is just forgotten about by the end. What’s the point?

There is none.

Eren’s journey ends up lost in the author’s own ignorance of the very thing this is supposed to be about.

Unfortunately, SNK isn’t interested in 80% of the world being dead. If it were, Eren wouldn’t have gotten such a warm send off.

I was honestly shocked when I read this chapter.

I thought it had been made clear. SNK had come firmly down against genocide. I never imagined Isayama would try a 180 in the final chapter.

And, well, he did, and here we are.

SNK is pro-genocide.

To wit:

Once Eren’s abominable plan is explained to everyone, he is lavished with love and comfort by his friends.

Armin did punch Eren for being callous about Mikasa, but overall all Armin had nothing but sympathy and understanding for Eren. They held hands and hugged and gave Eren a tender farewell.

All they talk about is how great a sacrifice Eren is making.

Not the sacrifice of 80% of all people, but the sacrifice that Eren personally is making of himself.

I don’t know what deranged mindset Isayama has that made him think this was sensible, but no, Eren is not sacrificing anything. He was always going to die. We’ve known this for several dozen chapters. It’s not a sacrifice to befall the fate you were always going to suffer.

He lost nothing. If anything, he gained from this ending.

Eren died knowing he was loved and appreciated by his friends. What more could a dying man ask for?

Eren is rewarded by the story for killing 80% of humanity.

His ultimate fate was no worse than was expected even before he committed the genocide, and he went out in the knowledge that his friends loved him for it.

It doesn’t even make logical sense that his friends would be so receptive to what he did.

There is no difference between Eren’s plan and what we thought Eren’s plan was before this chapter came out.

Armin thought Eren’s plan was to murder humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin was appalled. Armin was willing to sacrifice his life to ensure Eren failed. He was truly acting for the greater good of humanity.

In this chapter, Armin learns that Eren’s plan is actually to murder most of humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin loves him.

Again, hand holding, hugging, “thank you.” No mention of the unfathomable harm caused. The 80% killed are not even a footnote in this chapter.

Even after the fact, Eren’s friends showed no qualms with Eren essentially winning and procuring their safety through genocide.

When previously the mere thought of that was what motivated them to lay down their lives to stop him.

I don’t think Isayama believes this genocide is supposed to bear on how we think of Eren. I say, having just read the chapter that’s all about Eren, in which his genocide doesn’t bear on how his friends think of him. At all.

Was that too great a leap in logic? I apologize if my rationality offends you.

Eren may have died, but he won in the end.

His friends are safe and the world looks set to conclude a peace treaty with Paradis.

I don’t buy for a second that the world is a threat to Paradis anymore, and I don’t buy for a second that there won’t be a peace shortly after the end of the story.

It’s very telling, to me, that it’s the world that’s come to grovel at Paradis’ feet, begging for peace, when previously it was the other way around.

The contours of this “peace,” if you can call it that, were made pretty clear in the epilogue. The world is in ruins while Paradis is stronger than ever, so the world sues for peace for fear of Paradis attacking further. 

This is the moral of the story. Frankly, it’s been staring at us in the face the whole time.

How do you end the cycle of violence?

The answer is to win. To be stronger. More determined.

The only peace is enforced peace through domination.

Peace through the barrel of a gun.

To be continued in part II (and possibly part III)

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Why do you think Tomarry would work? I see a lot of people hating on it and the only response I ever see is that they come from similar backgrounds or people just like enemies to lovers. Also which horcrux do you think Harry would go best with (including Voldemort)

So, this is probably a more complicated question than you intended, but that’s because I live in bizarre head canon lands that few ever dare venture towards.

With that, let’s get started.

But What Do You Really Ship, Muffin?

First, it probably bears saying that I’m not really a Tomarry shipper. I know, I’ve written more than one Tomarry story, so if that’s not Tomarry what is? Well, remember that those Tomarry pairing tags are a filthy lie. October I committed the grievous sin of breaking up the Tomarry and throwing Tom at Harry’s mother. Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus is barely a Harry Potter fic in any capacity, and while the ship is the driving force of the fic, it’s also this nebulous, distant, thing that really shows up only in strange side stories where I try to make people laugh. When Harry Met Tom is probably the closest that I take seriously, but I also intentionally subvert all your typical Tomarry tropes for my own enjoyment. 

The only Tomarry story I’d say I’ve ever actually written is “The Burning Taste of Fire Whisky”. It’s a very popular story, sadly perhaps my most popular on Ao3, but I actually loathe it entirely. 

A lot of the time I feel like I just happen to have a Tomarry shirt on and then I suddenly became a subject matter expert. If you want the Tomarry opinions from real Tomarry people, I’m probably not the best person to ask. In fact, if you want really any standard answer about Harry Potter anything, I’m not the best person to ask.

Now, I’m not just saying this to be a hipster but to sort of give some background for why I’m going to give the answer I’m going to give and why it’s going to be 100% different from everyone else’s and yes, sometimes, I do think I came from Mars.

Will the Real Tomarry Please Stand Up?

So with that, the bottom line is: taking canon as JKR intended, completely at face value, Tomarry doesn’t work at all. This is because JKR fully intends a very flat, one-dimensional, and frankly quite boring Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle’s evil, Tom Riddle was born evil, Tom Riddle was evil in the womb because of rape. He is completely and utterly irredeemable and understands nothing of love.

Well, that sort of sinks the ship right out of the harbor, doesn’t it? A Tom Riddle incapable of love is one incapable of growth, especially in a romantic focused story. If you try to write it you just get weird sociopathic whump porn where Tom probably whips Harry in a closet somewhere.

Added onto this we get that, despite what she put down on paper, Harry is supposed to be a straight man. That aside, he’s also a righteous man whose understanding of things like love and friendship mean he’d never sully himself with gross Tom Riddle. Ew, what are you people thinking?

Well, what if we take canon just mostly as JKR intended? What if we just look at the characters the way she actually wrote them versus what she was trying to do? Still no dice.

Tom might now be capable of love, be a far more engaging character who can go somewhere, and be pulled out of a pit of rage and despair by someone but that someone ain’t Harry.

First, while I firmly believe Harry is gay (gay, not bisexual, compare his descriptions of Cho/Ginny to Tom Riddle/Sirius Balck/Cedric Diggory/Charlie Weasley, that boy pants after Tom Riddle and Cho’s kiss is “wet”) he’s also a much worse person and much dumber character than JKR intended. It’s really the first that damns the pairing.

I have a whole giant post on how Harry’s a little yikes but the long and short of it is that while Harry thinks he understands friendship and love he’s also someone who will cut out his friends at a moment’s notice if he feels remotely slighted, uses and sacrifices them for his own ends, gleefully uses unforgiveable curses when given the opportunity, and is the kind of guy who would cut someone up in the bathroom, leave them to bleed to death, and only really feel bad about it when it seems he might get in trouble for it.

This Harry ending up even with a Tom who could potentially be redeemed would more likely lead to, well, weird psychopathic whump porn where Harry tortures Tom in his basement to make him pay for all the horrible things he’s done while Harry claims he’s the most moral person ever because his mother loved him.

So, yeah, no Tomarry for you.

But Wait, Didn’t You Say You Believed in Tomarry?

What I believe in are archetypes.

Remove what Harry’s supposed to be, remove what I think he actually is (one maladjusted, violent, dude with a whole lot of anger issues), let’s make Harry what perhaps JKR didn’t even know she wanted: one of those rare fundamentally good heroes who warps an entire story with the strength of their inner nobility.

Harry Potter is meant to be a story about love and friendship. Now, it’s not actually, and we sort of end with Harry being Jesus and none of us are sure why. Except that he apparently forgives Dumbledore and Snape for brainwashing him to be a kamikaze agent. They’re the bravest men he knows. But let’s pretend it actually is a story about love and friendship.

To me, the strongest story of love we could possibly have had in this world is the redemption of Tom Riddle. Here is a man who was supposed to have been irredeemable since birth, he has done many horrific and unforgiveable things, grew up in extreme hardship in a society that spits on everything he ever was, and is mired in bitterness, despair, and rage. Beneath all that, Tom Riddle has given up hope in the world and is now content to burn it down himself.

Harry, through the nobility of his spirit and integrity of his character, somehow managing to redeem Tom Riddle is not only a fascinating story but a very good one at its core. The fact that they are tied together by destiny as well as tragedy, that Harry houses a shard of Tom’s soul (and I do so love horcruxes), only makes it more so.

This is the kind of story that carries epics, and that is why I gravitate towards it.

Now, do I change Harry up to do so? Good god, yes. I wouldn’t say any Harry Potter I have written is anything close to the Harry we know from canon. Some are closer than others, but they always in some way deviate. That said, from what I’ve seen almost nobody writes the actual Harry we remember from canon, so this is a very standard practice I can get away with, without too many people calling foul.

Ultimately ending in tragedy or in the full redemption of Tom: either works with these base characterizations and the world is your oyster.

What About All Those Other Arguments?

I’m not going to get into this too much except that I wouldn’t argue Tomarry works for the reasons you list. At all.

On the similar backgrounds, the fact is Harry and Tom don’t have similar backgrounds, JKR just says they do because she likes that trope (and so do many of the readers).

Harry and Tom have dark hair, they both came from abusive homes, but that’s where the similarities start and end. Upon entering the wizarding world Harry is treated very very very differently from Tom Riddle.

Harry, grows up in this weird sort of pseudo poverty where he dresses in rags because the Dursley’s hate him but he never actually has to worry about money. When he gets to the wizarding world he can afford everything he wants. He can buy a new wand, he can buy new supplies, he can buy all the candy off the trolly cart. Money’s not an object to Harry, is barely even a concept.

Tom Riddle is presumably on scholarship and money is everything to him. He buys a new wand but likely all his clothes and books are second hand. He can’t buy whatever candy he wants, probably can’t afford gifts for his peers, Tom is very aware of the haves and have nots.

Harry similarly never has to worry about a career. He never gets that far, fearing for his life so much, but the fact is that Harry has enough money that he doesn’t actually need to work. More, who would turn down the great Harry Potter? He wants to be an auror, is afraid he might not qualify, but it’s not really desperate.

Tom Riddle is to the world an impoverished muggle born. He tries for the Defense position and is turned down mostly because Dumbledore threw shade. Dumbledore tries to make it seem like Tom desperately wanted to work in this weird shop in London’s magical back alley, but probably that was the only position Tom could get (everything Dumbledore ever says, especially in those pensieve lessons, must be taken with a large grain of salt). Everything else goes to friends, family, and purebloods.

Adding to this, Harry has this glowing reputation. Now, Harry might not like it, he might want to be just Harry but the fact is that everyone has heard of him and most people worship the ground he walks on. Doors are open to him everywhere. His first introduction to the wizarding world is from a man who loves him and gushes about Harry as a baby.

Tom Riddle is someone with a muggle last name, who comes from a muggle orphanage, in other words he is nobody from nowhere. (For reasons I won’t get into here I find it very doubtful Tom ever revealed he was the heir of Slytherin until he became Voldemort and let Tom Riddle fade into obscurity). His first introduction to the wizarding world is some asshole lighting all his stuff on fire because the matron talked shit about him.

Harry wants to stay at Hogwarts because the Dursleys are abusive. Yes, this is terrible, but Tom wants to stay because Nazis are bombing London and Dippet says, “So sorry, Tom, no exceptions. Enjoy those luffas!” Harry’s concerns are never treated with the same disdain.

To make a long story short, they do not have similar backgrounds, at all. To say they do is utterly laughable and not much better than saying “they both have dark hair, they have so much in common!”

They both came from abusive homes, yes, but even the nature of those homes were very different and when they went to Hogwarts they were worlds apart.

... So much for not getting into it, eh?

As for Enemies to Lovers, well, it’s a trope and people enjoy it but it’s not my jam. I could go into why, but I think I’ve said enough.

Which Horcrux Do You Think Harry Would Go Best With?

We see so little of the individual horcruxes I’m not sure I can really take a stab at this. I sort of just make up their personalities as it suits me every time I write them.

With that I suppose I’m partial to the one in Harry’s head? Given that he has a front row seat to Harry, has seen Voldemort’s tragic demise, I think he’s in the best position to end up with Harry in a meaningful manner.

Especially as, if you think about it, he could represent the very last of Tom Riddle’s humanity. The single shard of humanity that remained in him until the bitter end.

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 5

I thought this would be a shorter recap. Ha!

Every now and then throughout this show we are getting CGI wide shots of the Dragon City, mostly establishing the time of day. They have three settings: nighttime, daytime, and sunset/sunrise. While quality-wise those wide shots would not feel out of place in a video game from ten years ago, with buildings looking all rubbery, I actually really like this sunset sky. I also appreciate that they firmly establish that this is city is not, in fact, a real place. I almost wish the architecture was a little bit less familiar, but making the city look truly otherworldly here would make location scouting much harder. As it happens, the buildings on the forefront have a very 60’s art deco revival inspired feeling, and there are some distinctively neoclassical buildings peppered around as well. We can also see that the roads are very wide, and generally there is a hint of Stalinist grandioseness about the downtown. Unfortunately, it looks nothing like the locations and sets the characters are running in; we also get a feeling that the Dragon City is very large, which is not entirely consistent with the very few locations that were available when shooting the series. This shot does, however, remind me the city I grew up in (Moscow).

The actual plot of the episode centres around Huang Linqi and his fiancé, Li Jiaqi, going missing - it will be important, because their disastrous wedding will produce the most Clark Kent moment that Shen Wei will ever have. We also meet the parents of the couple, who are stinking rich and extremely unpleasant. It also introduces us to Butler Wu (Wu Tian’en) and his son, who will become important in later episodes. Butler Wu is not actually the villain of the piece, despite this shot clearly telling us otherwise. 

Back at the university, Shen Wei is having a morning tea with his dean. He holding his teacup with almost god-like elegance, very close to actually covering his mouth when he drinks, which is extremely old-fashioned. This is in stark contrast with him brazenly and un-gentlemanly showing his ankles. 

Shen Wei is asked to move off campus, because, apparently, having a chief of the special task force showing up at your office is bad for the reputation. Since the professor does not look surprised, and states that he has already found a flat, I’m guessing that he was clever enough to have predicted this turn of events, and used it to secure the place a breath away from Zhao Yunlan. It is up to speculation as to when he started scouting for an apartment: it could not have been more than a few weeks since he met Zhao Yunlan, and finding a flat can take a while. 

At the SID office, we are treated to a lovely moment between the team members, crowding around Lin Jin’s new invention: a popcorn-specific microwave.

It’s very sweet to see the team indulge in some nonsense outside of their case work, made even better by Wang Zheng being there. The fact that Zhao Yunlan is on board with his department’s time and resources being spent on a popcorn maker only makes this scene better. He is crouching on the table, because chairs are for the weak.

After inspecting the crime scene, Zhao Yunlan is spending some time outside chatting to Buttler Wu, and comments on Li Jiaqi’s good looks, since Zhao Yunlan is a man who can appreciate beauty.

As Xiao Guo is awe-struck at his boss’ ability to note someone’s prettiness from a distance, Chu Shuzhi literally rolls his eyes calling those “instincts of a beast”, and Zhao Yunlan fails to reprimand him for the remark, because… fair enough. Very fair enough. It’s hard not to relate to Zhao Yunlan, a self-admitted bi disaster. 

Shen Wei is being shown his new apartment. He does not even look around it, staring instead at Zhao Yunlan’s front door across the hall from him.

Moving here is a completely senseless thing to do. How on earth is he planning to hide his Hei Pao Shi persona while being a next door neighbour to the chief of SID? My conclusion is that from a character stand-point, it’s nothing but an act of desperate devotion; from a narrative stand-point, this codifies that their relationship is about to get very intimate indeed. 

The SID members are interrogating Buttler Wu: as is often the case, instead of bringing him in, like they did with Shen Wei, they hijack a cafe nearby to have a more relaxed conversation. As they talk, Shen Wei is making his way past the cafe, which both Wu Tian'en and Shen Wei notice. 

Shen Wei proceed to follow Butler Wu, who calls him out on it. This leads to a removal of his glasses so epic it warrants a jump-cut to close-up, on top of the dutch angle used mere seconds prior to it.

Instantly recognizing Shen Wei as Hei Pao Shi, Wu Tian’en sinks to his knees in reverence. Again, fair enough. After having a brief conversation about their shared history, Shen Wei states that Butler Wu is not allowed to lay a hand on Zhao Yunlan. 

“Chief Zhao? You’re stalking him?” 

“You don’t need to know more.”

That is not a no. Mostly because that is a yes. 

Shen Wei promises to not take Wu Tian’en away before the man resolves his current problems, adding that he hopes his old acquaintance won’t have any regrets when that happens. As Shen Wei walks away, he muses “Then how much time is there left for me?” 

(And I have to fight an uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach, which is occurring a lot as I rewatch those series.) 

The same evening at the SID offices the team is struggling with the case so much Da Qing suggests asking Hei Pao Shi’s help. Zhao Yunlan bristles at the idea, and… calls Shen Wei instead. Of course he does.

To be fair, he does so to check whether the other man is stalking him, but he also calls him by his given name rather Professor Shen, reinforcing that he makes this enquiry as a friend, not at as the chief of the Special Investigations Department. 

During the phone call Shen Wei is absentmindedly playing with the corner of the publication he is reading. 

While Yunlan does not deny that he still thinks Shen Wei is potentially up to something dodgy, he still proceeds to ask his advice on the case. This continues the dynamic from the previous episode: it’s not that Yunlan is completely blind, it’s just that he trusts Shen Wei regardless of the secrets he might be hiding. 

Moving on, here’s what I have to say on he topic of bad CGI. There are several reasons in the world for a piece of visual media to have a poor quality computer animation. It could be laziness, or it could be absence of imagination, both of which are inexcusable. It also could be absence of funds, as is the case with the Guardian. And, honestly, I am alright with that. It’s not their fault, and I would much rather see this drama as it is - bad CGI and all - than none at all. 

And, the quality of CGI here has energy similar to Live Action Sailor Moon (PGSM), which I honestly find both nostalgic and endearing. 

That show also has a talking cat, but it’s performed by a literal plush toy on strings, so Guardian certainly wins here.

While Huang Linqi and Li Jiaqi are being kept together (possibly in an alternate dimension, seeing as how they have emerged from the lake completely dry), they talk through their relationship issues, and the audience finds itself with a sugar-sweet take on the arranged marriage/strangers to lovers trope. I feel a little bit bad about their disaster wedding now. 

At the same time, Xiao Jun and Wu Tian’en’s story is a tiny echo of Shen Wei end Je Zun: the son thinks his dad left him to fend for himself when he was young and vulnerable, and distrusts the very concept of love because of that perceived abandonment. Unlike Je Zun however, he stops to have an actual conversation, which ultimately forces him to quit his senseless act of revenge, and make the first step on the path of reconciliation and redemption. This is Guardian telling us that communication skills do, in fact, matter. 

He also drops this bombshell of a line, which hurts my heart a lot.

“In the face of death every love in the world is mere foam”

On an entirely separate note, I am very glad that the actor who plays Butler Wu is wearing nice thick knee pads. 

They are very visible, and they make a little “boing” when he hits the ground, but the actor has to fall to his knees twice in this episode, both times on hard surfaces, one of which is literal gravel, and I’m happy that the production is being considerate of their actors’ physical well-being. 

While this episode does not mark the first time Zhao Yunlan is being understanding to the Undergrounders in pain, this is the first time anti-Unvergrounder bigotry is explicitly framed in a negative light. The two evil businessmen, who cast a child aside just because he has special powers, are shown as unquestionably in the wrong. Xiao Jun is lightly scolded for his rash actions, but he is not brought back to SID in cuffs, and he is not immediately given away to Hei Pao Shi. Far from that: he is brought in softly, to spend some time at his dying father’s side. 

As Butler Wu slipping away, we once more see Guo Changcheng being recklessly heroic, as he is prepared to use the Longevity Dial to share his life force. Instead of letting him do it, Zhao Yunlan snatches the Hallow away and decides to perform this particular miracle himself. This is the same man who will later sacrifice his eyesight to bring people’s lives back. Bai Yu’s acting in that moment is utterly phenomenal, showing a whole range of emotion from horror to determination to dismay in mere seconds. 

Hei Pao Shi teleports in, and, without a preamble, scolds Zhao Yunlan (the first episode in the series-long “don’t touch the Hallows” saga), and then asks him whether it’s worth shortening his life for an Undergrounder. This is in equal parts a provocation and a test, because I’m fairly certain that Shen Wei was going to save Wu Tian’en anyway. 

As SID members beg Hei Pao Shi to save Butler Wu in perfect unison, Zhao Yunlan states that a person is a person, regardless of their origin. Shen Wei notes inwardly that SID had changed, and, as expected, heals Butler Wu, while Yunlan stares at his power with relief and awe.

Since I have talked about the wide shot of the Dragon City, let’s talk about its counterpart in the Underworld. 

I have failed to notice before that there appears to be a vast city next to the volcano river, some way away from the royal Palace, looming over it. Geographically, this makes little sense: we will see characters leave the Palace and instantly end up in a city square throughout the series, but I still really enjoy this wide shot. It is also interesting to see the architecture of the place. It is somewhere between (western) medieval abodes and futuristic shipment container blocks, with living spaces built on top of each other, crammed-in, and unpleasant. I also love the lighting here, contrasting blue and red.

Hallows random power #n: projecting their brethren. Imagine how useful it would be if they also did that for the Brush and the Lantern.

The next day, Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are on a leisurely morning jog, while Yunlan is wearing bottoms that my partner refers to as “sheggings” (as in, shorts + leggings)

They are talking about Shen Wei, naturally. In my head-canon, Zhao Yunlan is driving his colleagues nuts because can’t help himself but bring the good professor up every goddamn minute of every goddamn day.

As they turn the corner to go home, they bump into the subject of discussion, who informs them that he moved into the building, and leaves abruptly looking more than slightly pleased with himself. 

Finally, we are treated to Guo Changcheng’s surveillance exam. I don’t know why he thought this outfit would make him look less conspicuous. 

Eventually, the SID will learn that some of their staff members don’t have to be fighters or detectives. In Xiao Guo, they have found the heart of their team, and that is enough. 

Next up, Episode 6: The Coat Zhao Yunlan Will Buy

—

PS: I have mentioned earlier, that I have a sinking feeling as I watch Guardian, and I would like to elaborate on that. You see, I am very scared of flying. It’s an irrational fear, but it is the one I nonetheless have. There is a very specific feeling I get just as the plane starts gaining speed on the runway: there is joy, because at the end of this journey they is something to look forward to (my parents’ hugs, a drink with a friend, a favourite place, a new city to explore), but there is also a painful anticipation, as I brace for the moment the aircraft will tilt upwards, knowing that I will be pushed back into my chair by gravity, battling against an onslaught of a panic attack, shaking, learning to breathe, fighting with everything I have to keep my heart rate down. Watching Guardian from the beginning, knowing where the story is going, mirrors that feeling perfectly.

PPS: The following conversation happened with my partner as I way typing this recap.

My partner: Do you think Shen Wei ever wears sheggings?

Me: Sweetie, I think he would rather die. 

[moon-light-jukebox]

Hey!

You can totally ignore this, but I hope you’re doing well. I remember a few years ago, when I was in my freshman year of university, I was reading your story “see?”? Anyways, I was just thinking about it tonight because it’s funny to think that’s what I was doing and now I’m graduating (a year early) and that’s insane. So, I got around to rereading it and it’s a ride (I still want to know what happens next, but this is by no means a prompt if you don’t want to—I respect that). But anyways, yeah, I hope you’re doing well!

Hi dove!

I hope university has gone well. It feels insane like I couldn’t possibly have been absent from the fandom for that long, but I guess things get out of hand quickly.

See? Got away from me because I got stuck in writers block of how to get where I wanted to go. I think I got bogged down with details that none of you would have ended up caring about because you just wanted a redemption arc for Spencer. I spent so much time researching the killer and his methods and means and his “why” and ultimately I guess all that stuff didn’t matter. Then I started graduate school and had plastic surgery on my arms and blew up on tiktok for 5 minutes and my life just drifted away from me. My goal for the summer is to get back into writing because if made me so happy. I need more hobbies, I feel.

I can tell you the ending, if you like? 

Reader was taken by a man who wanted to save babies from single mothers because he was raised by a horribly abusive single mother. He works that office that processes the medical charts for the entire state of Oregon so he access to pull all the information to see who is who.  Reader wakes up and is already in the early stages of labor. She uses her training to keep him talking.  The unsub tries over and over again to get her to exchange her life for the life of her baby. He keeps saying “see? you’re all the same. you’re all the same!”  Derek and Spencer bust in and the unsub flees, reader never saw his face. They get her to the hospital and Isaac is born. A note is delivered to the hospital that’s written in blood that says, “you’re all the same. don’t you see?”  Because the unsub is still out there, they agree it’s best for reader to come back to DC. It’s Christmas time now and Spencer and Reader are trying to repair their relationship. It’s slow going because of how hurt reader was, but she doesn’t stop Reid from being a father to Isaac.  When Isaac has his first cold we see reader finally let her walls down and let Spencer in. He spends the night but only to comfort reader, no funny business.

He slowly wins over Reader, and is the amazing father we all know he would be. 

In early January, Reader is attacked in her apartment again by the unsub who manages to get a hold of Isaac. Spencer comes in the apartment right as the unsub, once again, asks if she’ll trade the babies life for her own - basically, I’ll kill you or the baby, who will you pick. The unsub thinks ALL mothers will pick the baby to die, then he’ll end up killing the other, but he kills the mother regardless.  Reader says she’ll pick the baby, she wants to live. Which stuns Spencer at first. And the unsub is like, “do you see now? do you see?! they’re all like this!” and he orders reader on to her knees, but she has a gun under the couch and shoots him in leg. Reid catches Isaac, who is 4 months old now. Everyone is safe. Unsub goes to jail. 

Everything is moving along, slowly, until Reid shows up at readers apartment in the middle of the night crying a few weeks later. Gideon has just died. And they finally, finally reconcile over that. Tender love making, declarations of love, all that. The end.

- In my mind, one day I’ll finish it. 

[ouatsnark]

Regina is to blame for Emma’s childhood

Welcome to this week’s Once Upon a Time PSA! Lets take a look at a popular Regina stan claim that Regina isn’t to blame for the way Emma grew up but actually it’s Regina’s victims that are at fault. Newsflash: That’s victim blaming!

1) Regina chose to cast the curse

Claim: Rumple manipulated her. He taught her magic. He got her to use it. It was his dark curse after all.

Claim: Cora was an abusive mother, it was her fault Regina was this way

Some people need to learn a lesson about personal responsibility. Everyone has choices.

Regina could have been honest with the King. She chose not to.

Regina could have gone to meet Robin. She chose revenge instead.

Regina could’ve stayed away from Rumple. She chose to murder a woman and take magic lessons from Rumple instead.

Regina could have chosen not to cast the curse. But instead she chose revenge & destroyed innocent lives all because a 10 year old child was fooled by an adult.

Rumple is to blame for his role in it. But Regina is to blame for the decisions she made of her own free will. And it was Regina’s choice to listen to Rumple. She was not forced. She knew what she was doing. She was an adult who knew right from wrong and chose evil over good.

It’s amusing really.

In one breath Regina stans claim that Regina had an “inspirational redemption story that teaches us that it’s never too late to change & become a better person”.

In the next breath they’re proclaiming Regina isn’t to blame for any of her choices or that it was some “evil” inside of her that did it or outright denying her crimes.

If Regina isn’t guilty then she had nothing to redeem which means she couldn’t have had a redemption arc.

So which is it? If it’s the latter then at least we agree on one thing: Regina did not have a redemption...

P.S. It takes a strength of character to admit you're wrong and own your mistakes. Blaming someone else for your choices shows a lack of good character.

Regina tried to murder baby Emma

Claim: Good parents never would have put their child into the wardrobe in the first place. No matter what.

It’s like they completely forget this part:

David was literally fighting to save Emma’s life when he put her into the wardrobe.

So it’s better to let a child be slaughtered than give the child their best chance?

There was no “I’d never put my baby into that wardrobe no matter what” decision here. Putting Emma into the wardrobe was the only choice! If Snow & David hadn’t put Emma into the wardrobe Regina would have killed Emma.

Emma being separated from her parents was a direct result of Regina casting her curse.

I mean, Regina even spent two seasons trying to murder adult Emma in Storybrooke. You think she’d have let her live as a baby? The answer is no.

If Regina hadn’t killed baby Emma, she wouldn't have given her a happy ending

Claim: If they hadn’t put Emma in the wardrobe then she’d have been with a loving family in Storybrooke. Emma would’ve found SOMEONE who cared about her.

Like Hansel & Gretel did after they rejected Regina? Spoiler alert: They were fending for themselves. Grace only had a good family so that Jefferson, who remembered, would be all that more miserable seeing her happy with a new family when she didn’t remember him. Hell, Ashley was pregnant for 28 years with the very real possibility of never getting the chance to meet her child!

Emma is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Two people Regina hated. Regina cast the curse to get revenge on them. If you think Regina would’ve chosen a nice fate for Emma.... think again. Emma would have most likely ended up in an orphanage in Storybrooke.

Never mind that Emma would’ve spent eternity as an infant. She wouldn’t have been “finding anyone”.

So really, if you think about it, putting Emma into the wardrobe was giving Emma her best chance at a good life. She wouldn't have had it in Storybrooke dead or alive.

But the Charmings had a chance to raise Emma & didn’t take it! Aka the S6 Retcon.

Yes, the Charmings made a choice and they chose the greater good over their family. Which was the correct choice by the way. It was Emma’s fate to be the one that saves. Leaving everyone else to suffer under Regina’s curse might have made Snowing better parents but it would not have made them better people. You’re well within your rights to wonder, as parents, how they could’ve made that decision... it quite clearly wasn’t an easy one...  but it’s wrong to deny Regina’s role in all of it when she’s the reason the Charmings were forced to make the decision in the first place!

I’ve already written a piece on why this isn’t entirely fair and still doesn’t absolve Regina of her own choices. So for my opinion on that read: The Charmings had no choice.

In conclusion

Regina chose to cast the curse and any decisions or chain of events that happened because of that curse is ultimately her fault... because without her curse none of it would’ve happened.

But you’re going to vilify heroes who sacrificed their happiness and not the Evil Queen who set everything into motion and forced this decision upon them?

You do you but I’m going with Team Hero.

[ellanainthetardis]

1, 4, 9, and 25 for the salty asks pls 💖 (for 25 if you could answer for hunger games and/or the 1OO that would be fun, along with any other fandom you want pls)

1 and 4 I just answered in a previous ask ;)

9 Most disliked character(s)? Why?

I hate Coin. XD I think MJ is self-explanatory about why but yeah that's the one character in thg I reaaaaally do not see a redemption side for. I'm sure she has one and hasn't shared with me yet but yeah... She's just so... black and white... She's just the bad guy masquerading as a good guy. It's obvious from the start and I have nothing against bad guys, I think Snow is an interesting (if horrible) character. Coin, I just... Nope.

Also I am not very fond of Gale but while I disliked him in the books I think my real dislike of him comes from the fandom's view of him (it played on my own opinions) and also because he gave me suuuuch a writer block for KTVS I might never forgive him for it XD

I used to not like Plutarch either. I still don't like him as a character but I found him really interesting so I wouldn't say he's my most disliked. I just think he's the ultimate slytherin and a real piece of work who has no morals XD I kind of enjoy writing him though.

In HP, one of the characters I can easily dislike is Dumbledore. It took me a long time to get there but with age and with every re-read it seems so obvious the whole thing is a huge set up for harry and... Yeah. It doesn't change anything that he loves harry, in teh end he's still raising him up for slaughter and I'm not a Gryffindor so I can't appreciate he does it for the right reason or the "greater good". I mean, at one point, I was known to enjoy some Dumbledore bashing fics XD

25 How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

For thg: I think the ending is solid. I wish she had remembered about Effie and obviously if it were me, the epilogue would have included hayffie but... XD I think the only change I would have liked was the mention of children. Or at least the way the children are mentioned. I would have either just made clear Kat and Peeta get together and leave to the reader's imagination if they had kids or not or maybe change the wording so it doesn't sound so... forced. Because ultimately, I don't think Peeta would force her into having them but the wording does make it look that way a little hence the whole decade old debate and yeah... But other than that I think the ending is coherent with the rest of the books you know...

It's not the perfect ending, none of the main characters have an immediate happy ever after but eventually they get to find peace and happiness and that's a good reflection of life. It's full of hope.

For HP: *singsong* I would have gotten rid of that epiiiilogue.

I hate the epilogue. I hate that everyone ends up with their childhood sweetheart as their forever partner. It's unrealistic.

Also, I'm not saying I'm an angst person, but i'm an angst person. And I think maybe if we wanted a more "adult" slash "realistic" ending one of the golden trio should have died. There are pleeeenty of heartbreaking death in HP but I can't help but feel like some of them were there as window-dressing. Idk. I hated how they did the final showdown in the movies too, it has to be said. and a part of me wished they had kept the scene with Draco handing Harry his wand but that's the shipper in me haha

I also hate one thing a lot in the HP ending. When Dumbledore alters his quote saying help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it to those who deserve it... This felt... Meh. Because I think it's doing a 180 to the original quote. Also there was a lot of slytherin bashing that goes against the general message of cooperation and unity but... Ok. XD

I mean... HP had its problems XD I would go so far as to say that while it's iconic, it's the fandom that made it that way. There are plenty of fictions that are better than hp out there. That's the thing JK never got. The fandom made HP what it is from what she gave us. She's not the ultimate queen anymore. I know lots of fics that are better than canon.

And now for the 100. Oh boy where should I start. Do I like the ending... I never saw the last of S6 and I never saw the last season although I am thouroughly spoiled. Let that be clear. My last episode has been the Marcus Kane demise. XD

How i would have end it...

Well, you know what? If I had to be realistic, I would say at the end of S5. S4 was meh even though it gave us Abby/Kane but S5 had a good ending with the Harper and Monty' s very emotional send off... That was a good end. Send the heroes toward a possible future... Leave it here.

Alternatively, what I was hoping for/would have loved to see is for a complete whipe out of S5. Get back to the end of S4, forget the bunker, send everyone back into space (with a viable solution maybe like the end of S5) and have Abby/Kane stay behind to launch the ship and die together. Reverse of S1 of a sort. *

What I would not have done is have Abby become what she's become, let Raven get soooo judgmental it wasn't even funny, force Abby to watch Marcus die the same way Jake did, have Clarke kill Bellamy, or, for that matter, destroy octavia's whole character development...

Last but not least: stargate. What was even Unending? XD That show deserved a better ending and I cannot lie. So yeah... Anything else but THAT episode. A good thing we got the movies...

[reachexceedinggrasp]

So the majority of the shows I’ve seen lately can be charitably described as ‘light entertainment’, including the ones with dark elements or more weighty, ponderous plots. They might be entertaining or interesting, they just... don’t stand up to scrutiny. Turn your brain off because this isn’t that carefully or skilfully made and you’ll only be annoyed if you start thinking about it as a whole. Including the last couple 'tragic’ historical dramas I’ve watched, which were not effective tragedy for that very reason. If you’re going to kill off the main cast, you have to earn it, and overwhelmingly writers don’t. Anyway, I’ve been getting despondent about whether stories which actually hang together and form a coherent narrative unit with consistent themes are the exception rather than the rule.

(And I feel like that should be a pretty low standard to meet, it’s sort of Step 1 of ‘being a story’: be about something! Communicate something, no matter how basic it is. Dead simple stories with rock basic messages can be revelatory! Just do it well!)

I’ve seen very little genuinely focussed or meaningful storytelling in my ventures for what feels like a long time. Basically, I can kind of count on one hand the number of films or dramas or whathaveyou I’ve seen from the last few years where it felt like the filmmakers were in complete control of their story and everything in it was purposeful and intentional. Most things have felt slapdash or shallow or fleeting. Story elements and character choices come out of nowhere just to derail already concluded arcs and fill screen time with empty repetitious drama, not to serve a meaningful narrative purpose. I would be watching with zero confidence anything in particular was going anywhere or that the writers knew where that should be. It’s just throwing shit at the wall, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type writing all the time and it fucking shows.

But then I watched Money Flower.

Money Flower is different. Money Flower is towering head and shoulders above every modern drama I’ve ever seen. Titanically good writing which rises above its genre and makes conventions seem radically new and fresh not by reinventing them or deconstructing them, but by playing them straight, taking them seriously, and committing 1000%. This is all your familiar rich family tropes but with masterpiece execution, infused with consequence and meaning because they’re all driven by the psychology of complex three-dimensional characters. So many moving pieces and none of them are random or unmotivated. Just... GOOD WRITING. And I want to make the point that it is this wherein art lives. The difference between a rank Lifetime movie and Romeo and Juliet is not novelty or tropes or plot twists- it’s execution.

This show is such a perfect example that it is not ‘mere events’ (aka plot) or novelty or shock value or cool ideas which separates something brilliant and timeless from forgettable schlock; it is solely and entirely execution. It’s writing itself, if you know what I mean. You can describe many of Shakespeare’s tragedies and history plays as soap opera plots. What makes Macbeth a deathless masterwork and Death Wish Hollywood wank isn’t a fundamental difference in subject or genre. It’s Shakespeare’s characterisation and purposeful storytelling. It’s the poetry of the dialogue. It’s the craft of writing. Most of Shakespeare’s plots are based on existing stories or on historical events and that has never mattered because novelty is not an inherent good or of any inherent artistic value.

Like, this is the problem with storytelling right now blah blah GOT, shitty endings everywhere etc. because power over the audience (can’t let anyone guess the plot, looking ‘clever’ with meaningless callbacks) and novelty are valued over narrative structure or things making sense or emotional verisimilitude. We have so many writers thinking being ‘shocking’ is all it takes to be a genius. It’s easy to be shocking if your story makes no goddamn sense because things that don’t make sense are literally unpredictable. Not in a good way, though. A great twist or sudden swerve needs to be unexpected but inevitable in hindsight or it does not work. I should be able to rewatch your thing and think ‘oh, of course! you can see it was [x] all along!’

We have so many popular writers now who are so shallow they don’t think anything needs to make sense on a character or emotional level. They don’t think their story has to be about anything. Substance is irrelevant as long as the surface is flashy enough. That has no staying power, you can only watch it once and you will forget about it quickly.

However, if you have ever wanted to experience the constant heightened stakes and High Drama of a soap opera without being annoyed at how ridiculous it all is and while actually giving a shit about the characters because they feel like real human beings, if you’ve wanted to feel repercussions when characters make choices, and get the emotional payoff that is the entire point of drama- now you can. Watch Money Flower. And let me tell you, it is fucking riveting. This show is mostly made up of people sitting in rooms talking and yet it is heart-pounding excitement nearly every episode. It is profoundly traditional and by the book while being totally fresh. It’s the most engrossing and satisfying artistic experience I’ve had in a long time.

Like, THE TENSION, THE DRAMA, THE REVEALS!!! You can, in fact, spend most of 24+ hours on the edge of your seat about family problems and business mergers. It seems unlikely, but that is the power of this series, it creates insanely high stakes and mesmerising suspense out of the most commonplace ingredients. Familiar plot elements become brand new and surprising under the deftness and tightness of this narrative. The plot itself is certainly 100% melodrama but it never feels like a soap opera and is never ever soapy in in a pejorative sense because it handles its classic tropes with such maturity and nuance that it's like you've never seen them before. The writing is incredible.

It is on an entirely different level than the vast majority of dramas, with a total self-assurance that keeps the pacing relentless yet unhurried- taking its time to let the impact of events be felt, the narrative always knowing exactly where it’s going and how to get there. The characters are all multi-faceted and unpredictable without ever being incoherent, their motives and goals always being gradually uncovered in more detail that only makes the storytelling and characterisation even tighter, even richer. The twists and cliffhangers are always mind-blowing but always earned, never cheap or nonsensical, and I can't remember ever thinking that about another show. (There’s literally one exception towards the very end where something a bit random happens for reasons of pure symbolism- it’s a misstep imo but it’s minor in the scheme of things)

Every time I started to doubt the writing, started to think ‘oh no, they’re going off the rails’, they showed me I was wrong and they were in total control. The only 'problem' with the show is that the drama is also profoundly painful to watch unfold, particularly in the beginning, because it's a story where everyone makes terrible life choices and moral corruption is everywhere. It's hypnotic though, like a car crash. If you can handle something dark, insidious, cerebral, and character-driven there is nothing I've seen in the same vein that can approach its brilliance. It’s like The Magnificent Ambersons as a slick modern revenge drama. There is also (PRECIOUSLY!!) a core of stunning romanticism around which all the horrors revolve and that saves it from becoming hideous or cynical. There is a chance for redemption and a new beginning after all, in spite of all appearances.

The ending has apparently been controversial, and it is definitely not quite as climatic as you would have expected given how powerfully climatic almost every regular episode is, but it's a good ending. There isn't full closure, they don't provide final resolution in a bow, but to me it's an ending about hope. It suggests optimism for our characters and I was satisfied with that. It's extremely rare for a 'revenge story’ to allow this kind of room for healing and it can do that because, imo, we discover in the end that it wasn't ultimately vengeance in Pil Joo’s heart. He has not become a tragic hero who will be consumed by the cannibalistic darkness of revenge, his quest was for justice. He teeters on the edge of the abyss but he avoided falling in; he didn't sell his soul, at least not irrevocably.

He is nonetheless a very tragic figure and an anti-hero, but despite having dedicated his life to bringing down the Jang cabal, it’s not that he’ll stop at nothing. He will make any personal sacrifice no matter how desolate, he lives as a mere husk of a man, and he facilitates enormous emotional harm to others in service of his goals, but he has ethical hard lines he never considers crossing. His sense of decency and compassion is never extinguished; he does care about the collateral damage he is causing even when making justifications for it. It’s important to him to give people as much agency as possible in their choices, to mitigate the damage done by his schemes as much as he can. To try to prevent harm coming to undeserving bystanders. Not that this makes it okay that he uses people, which he does, but the point is he never completely surrenders his moral compass to avarice. He’s never okay with burning down the world or ruining innocent lives just to get to his target.

Pil Joo is less a vigilante and more an avenging angel, he wants justice more than retribution. He wants fairness and a better, safer world where what has happened to his family won’t happen again. The reason this story never becomes Sweeney Todd (aka: a full on tragedy where we see the inevitable outcome of lust for revenge) and the reason he can survive twenty years spent pursuing someone’s downfall is exactly that principle. Searching for retribution would have destroyed him, he would have become the very thing he hated, but instead he goes as far as necessary to publicly expose the Jangs for what they are and then willingly submits to penance for his complicity in their crimes and tries to atone with the people he hurt along the way. Purged, he’s symbolically reborn and takes back his real name to maybe finally have a chance at the life he should have had. He moves on, content, a positive force. He’s capable of healing from the ordeal because he realises he doesn’t need retaliation, just seeing them stopped and facing consequences for their actions is enough.

The love story is a superbly poignant part of this. Their love is the ‘victim’ of his revenge and it will forever be impacted by it, but it’s not something that can be killed, so there’s still hope. Mo Hyeon’s bookending rescues of Pil Joo from death mean first that he has a purpose he must fulfil and then the second time that he has freedom to finally live as himself, for himself. There’s a future. And maybe they can be together there. I’m emo about it.

Anyway, if there was the slightest doubt about me becoming a long-term Jang Hyuk fangirl, it’s been put to rest. This performance is easily one of the best I’ve ever seen, period. No contest it’s the best I’ve seen in a tv drama. It’s also the most subtle and masterful turn he's delivered in his whole career. He's so restrained, but he is giving absolutely everything; he has total control over every microexpression, every gesture, every molecule in his body. There is so much simmering under his surface, so much going on in his eyes; the layers and depths are endless. The intensity and sharp intellectual focus he brings to the character is breathtaking. Everyone else is doing amazing work too, but he is almost constantly on screen and has this spectacular command of such a sprawling story, such a complex character, and he makes it look effortless. All artifice has melted away. The fact that being so tightly contained is in stark contrast to the bombastic element in many of his other roles renders its delicate precision even more startlingly impressive. I thought he was a great actor before, but I didn’t fully appreciate what he was capable of until Pil Joo.

[phantasieandmirare]

RWBY8 Midseason Trailer: Sarah's Breakdown & Analysis

Alright, I have finally been able to sit down and compile all my thoughts and now I want to break down the sequence of events and new frames and what I think it all means, so here we go.

Two things are notable right out of the gate: 1) Eddy Rivas said that the first half of the season was the tame half. Fantastic. I am afraid. 2) Neath Oum says that we have no idea what’s coming. Neath scares the ever-loving hell out of me and I love him but also. Fantastic. I am afraid.

Salem's monologue to Cinder is the first thing we hear in the trailer. I have never believed that Cinder will get a redemption. Based on Midnight and what we saw during her torture sequence, I do now believe that it’s a possibility that she will break and defect, but again, I don't think that that means she'll get a full redemption.

We see rockets being used against Goliaths and both of them being disintegrated. Probably just a filler shot to keep up the full-scale invasion tone.

Ironwood hits his new prosthetic against his desk. As per usual this volume, he's frustrated and angry, but what's the new setback causing this frustration? Perhaps a defection from his elite agents, his second-in-command, or the news that Penny has broken free, or been taken?

The Ace-Ops and Winter have the bomb and are preparing to run at the Monstra. I still don't think that they'll be the ones taking it in. I have a couple theories about who'll do that but I don't think they're taking it. They may get it up there but I doubt that they'll be taking it inside.

Winter comforts Marrow. This looks like it might be right before they take the bomb, or Winter and Marrow having a 'yeah-our-job-sucks-right-now-do-what-you-think-is-best' moment. This may or may not be the moment where Marrow defects and runs.

Ironwood turns in surprise and sees someone or something, right before he's about to hit a button on his console. I personally think that this is the moment where Team Regicide aka Qrow and Robyn arrive in his office. I also think that he might have been about to activate the bomb here, but it could be anything, including controlling Penny if Watts gave him control.

Cinder is clearing rubble. Someone said this looks like Grimm landscape but there are wires and beams and girders, so I think she's inside. This might be her Watts jailbreak or something else, but I'm not sure yet. She's not moving with any sort of urgency, not using both hands to clear rubble like she would be if she needed to be moving quickly or was trying to dig someone out, so either she's in shock and doing it one at a time, or she's got time to kill here. I'm not sure.

Ruby gets tossed through a wall. To me, it looks like she's being tossed from the inside to the outside. I would not be surprised if Team RNBW + May split up with one half going to fix the generator and the others staying in the house, and I don't think Ruby will want to leave Penny. And Penny is the only threat inside the house. This is probably during the hacked!Penny fight if there is one, though it could be anything else. Sidenote, I like using 'Team RNBW' for that group because it can be pronounced 'Rainbow'.

Penny's eyes are red and hacked. I still believe that she has mental autonomy but her body is against her. I've also seen some people say that either Watts is controlling her, which I doubt because if this was the case then Watts could order her to fly to Salem now and that's like five birds with one stone, or Ironwood is controlling her, which would line up with him pressing buttons in his office and being frustrated when something goes wrong. There's a high chance that we're going to have a hacked!Penny fight and I don't think they'd pass up that opportunity. 

The now infamous acid-spitting Grimm arrives. It looks like it's chest has been carved out and the acid tube has been surgically added. I've seen two theories for this: that it's an Atlas experiment, or it's a Dr. Merlot (Grimm Eclipse) experiment. Since we’ve yet to see Dr. Merlot in series and the ending of Grimm Eclipse indicates he’s still active, this could be a fun way to throw him into the mix; I personally think they’ll hold onto him until Vacuo if anything, but it could be now too. This is also taking place at the Schnee estate. The green goop also kind of looks like Penny's 'blood' which makes me wonder if this thing attacked her, or if this gives credence to the theory that it's an Atlas experiment, just like Penny was.

Something busts through the cell wall and fire engulfs Qrow and Watts. Again, I have seen several theories on this: a) This is Cinder busting in to get Watts, or b) This is Raven busting in to get Qrow, which I kind of doubt because she should just be able to teleport into the same cell with him but I still want her to come get him. There’s also a chance that it’s none of the above and someone else is blowing their way in or some kind of accident happens to cause a breach (such as a crash). 

The electricity at Schnee mansion gets turned back on. This is expected. Not too big a deal.

Hazel enters a room. I’m betting that he’s walking in to the room where the Lamp is being kept. 

The Hound turns it’s head. It’s on the Schnee estate. This is also expected, and a slightly bigger deal.

Salem grabs Oscar’s face with her nails positioned right over his eyes. She’s getting frustrated. Either she’s talking to Oz and he’s giving her sass, or Oscar is spitting truth and she doesn’t like it, or something else. The only thing I want to point out about this shot is that Oscar does not seem to react when she grabs him. This may be because he’s being held in place by the imp arm on the back of his head, or she’s holding him too tight that he can’t react in a physical way, or we just can’t see it because this shot is a second long and Oscar is turned away from us, or Oscar is channeling his inner badass and not showing Salem that he’s scared, but for now, the fact that Oscar doesn’t seem to react...worries me a little. 

Ruby looks confused, and horrified. She’s looking at something extremely shocking, something she wasn’t expecting to see. She might be in shock. From this angle, it looks like she’s still inside the house, so for right now I think that this is her reaction to Penny waking up with red eyes and turning on them. But, I’ve also seen a theory that this is Ruby’s reaction to seeing someone she thought was long dead appearing in the form of the Hound. 

Last but not least, I want to talk about what Ironwood says in this trailer. He says: “I have always promised to defend this kingdom from those who would see it destroyed, no matter the cost.” For some context: I believe that Ironwood is going to face Salem alone. In the intro, he’s alone on a chessboard while all of his pieces fall around him. I also think that one of two people will be taking the bomb into the Monstra: Hazel, as I outlined in a previous prediction here, or Ironwood himself. And this speech could be him being his usual “I’ll do anything to stop Salem” self, but this...well. Let’s go back to Ironwood’s theme song, “Hero”: “I would die / Without regret, I’d offer up my life / With zero reservations / I would fly / Into the sun / If that would keep our dream alive...There’s no sacrifice / That I won’t make / I’ll risk it all / To keep you safe / Trust me to be strong / I’ll be your hero / Just hold on”. Ironwood has a massive hero complex. And he is yet to offer up the ultimate sacrifice, himself. And this...this sounds like a goodbye. This sounds like he’s about to walk away. This sounds like he’s about to sacrifice himself. And while I believe that the Hazel sacrifice theory is a huge possibility, especially since Hazel is the only candidate currently onsite, this makes me really start to wonder if Ironwood is making it out of this volume alive.

Alright, back to your regularly-scheduled scrolling, I’ll just be here beating my head against the wall for two more weeks.

[angelruel]

free time

a ruel fic that was never meant to be taken seriously

summary: in which the girl that Ruel leaves a voicemail for in “Free Time” calls him back which ultimately ends in them agreeing to meet up for closure. this is trash I wrote it so long ago lmao sorry. quality work coming soon.

masterlist

Word Count: 3.8k (too long)

      There is nothing Y/N wants more than to see Ruel right now. She’s sure that he’s going to hug her when he sees her, even if it’s just a pity hug. And she can’t wait for it. Of course, she’s going. The problem isn’t the fact that they’re about to see each other for the first time in two months. The problem is what he told her last night. And what she told him when she called back.

      Y/N can’t even explain how this all happened. The pitiful voicemail from him and the lengthy phone call they had afterwards all seemed years away now. The mental assurance she had with herself that she refused to be hurt again all somehow seemed to be irrelevant. How could she be so foolish to admit that she missed him? He clearly did not care about her after what he did. Even though her stubborn persona can be an impenetrable force to almost everyone who encounters it, Ruel has been granted full access. And he knows it, too. That’s why she’s in the process of getting ready to see him for dinner despite having promised herself that she’d never see him again only two months prior. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, she’s pretty sure that the only reason Ruel reached out was because he was bored and needed something to give inspiration while writing the new album. Or maybe he was just drunk.

       Y/N is the queen of communicating without saying actual words, and that’s just what she plans on doing tonight. He already knows that she’s broken from this split due to her big mouth and slipping fingers. She refuses to let anything else get out tonight. For example, she’s not going to tell Ruel that ever since he left the apartment to her, she hasn’t been able to sleep without a constant noise being played in the background to make her feel safe. Or how she cuddles his pillow to actually close her eyes. And she definitely won’t be mentioning her constant phone calls to her best friends in the wee hours of the night sobbing about how she’s ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Or the fact that it is quite impossible to miss Ruel because she sees him every night in her dreams. None of that will be discussed tonight. He’s going to be the one doing all of the talking. Hell, he’s the one who begged her to meet him in the first place.

       Even though she was never going to say no.

       The two outfit options say all that Y/N can’t manage to put into words. On the right side of her bed, she laid down some very soft light wash jeans along with her favorite maroon sweater—the same sweater that Ruel used to throw in the dryer to heat up for her on the nights she was especially needy. It’s also what she had on the day he left, and what she wore for the three days after. Yeah, she probably shouldn’t do that to either of them. But the sweater will let him know the truth. As soon as Ruel sees the signature color, he’ll know that she hasn’t been fine. He will automatically be able to picture her pressing a hand to her chest and sobbing only moments after he left the apartment, something that didn’t even occur to him when it originally happened. And the pity hug that Y/N is anticipating will turn into a genuine, “I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I’m here now” hug. And a very big part of her wants that to happen. She wants nothing more than to feel Ruel’s embrace once again. Just to place her head on his broad chest and feel his hands rub her back softly, a motion that was not only loving but the most comforting thing he could do for her. Maybe she should wear it. Ruel has always been a sucker for Y/N in her most vulnerable state. The slightest quiver of her lip or the formation of a tear in her eye has always set him off, immediately sending him into a nurturing state, ready to hold her and do or buy whatever to make her feel better. However, there is a small part of her that refuses to be vulnerable. This is the side of her that laid across some shorts and a tank top that she’d only worn but once on the left of her bed. Part of Y/N doesn’t want to show her true colors to Ruel even though he’ll probably see them anyway. She wants to show up in this outfit and barely make eye contact with Ruel, returning the pity hug with an embrace of sympathy for him as well. As if he hasn’t taken this well.

       Y/N puts in a request for an uber before ignoring the two outfits all together and just throwing on a simple t-shirt and jeans combo. There’s no way that clothes can say that much. And even if they did, Y/N has plenty to say on her own already.

       He’s already waiting for her at the table.

       She’s not late, but Ruel is definitely early. He wants to see her walk in. No, he doesn’t. He wants to make sure that she knows where to go. And he also wants to see the look on her face when she walks in. There are so many thoughts going through Ruel’s mind now, which are often interrupted by the waiter stopping by every few minutes to ask if he’s ready. After he replies with a, “Not yet, thanks. She’s on her way,” he continues to think about her. He remembers the look she had on her face when he gave his house key to her and he remembers how he ignored it. He remembers so many details of the breakup but for some reason he can’t remember why the hell he did it in the first place.

       All he knows is that it was for the best. And that he has been lost without her for the past two months. He’s not even going to question it, because if they were to get back together then he’s sure that he’d remember why they broke up in the first place. And he can’t break her heart again. He loves Y/N too much to even chance putting her through another heart break again.

       But isn’t that what this whole meeting intended to do? None of that matters as soon as Y/N walks in. Ruel immediately stands, unsure if she can see him or if he should walk towards her.

       She knows exactly where he is. It is pathetic to think that she suggested they meet at the Italian spot where they had their first date. Y/N almost laughs at Ruel’s predictability of what table he’s at. She sees the hopeful look in his eyes. Is it crazy to think that he might want to try again? He is the one who ended this, after all.

       Ruel sits down to wait for what seems to be forever as Y/N walks across the place to meet him. There has to be a reason why he can’t remember what prompted him to leave her in the first place. It definitely did not have anything to do with her looks. God, she looks amazing. He can tell that she spent a while contemplating her appearance for this evening because of the one piece of her hair that pokes out of the headwrap she wears seems to be burned due to her over curling it with her wand. Why is he thinking about this? He’s here to check on her since she avoided him ever since they broke up. Like his voicemail said, he just wants to “catch up.” Ruel didn’t try to force it because he wanted to give her time. But in reality? He missed her so much more than she missed him. Although he can’t remember the important details about the split, he does recall how hard it was to go through with. When he went to hand Y/N his key back, he saw the look on her face. With that alone, he was ready to scoop her up in his arms and ask her to forgive him for what he had just suggested. He knows that it was a hard decision. He knows that it was for the best.

       It’s crazy to think that this was happening to the person he thought he was going to marry. When they first started their relationship, it was one thing after another. They were only enjoying each other, each moment better than the last. He never thought that it would come to an end. Furthermore, Ruel didn’t think that it would be his idea. To think that he put a stop to the very thing that was keeping him going at one point is heartbreaking. Not only to her, but to him as well.

       Maybe they just needed time? Because looking at Y/N right here right now, Ruel is ready to pick up right where they left off. He can’t deny how much he misses her. Is two months even enough to change a person? He thought that all he needed was time away from her but after about a week he knew he’d made a mistake.

       As she gets closer, Ruel immediately remembers how he felt last night when he swallowed his pride and called her out of the blue. He felt way more vulnerable than he would ever like to admit. There is no possible way that he could ever fix what he set out and broke two months ago. In the moment, it seemed so right. Like there was nothing else to do but walk away. Is it crazy to think that she might actually take him back? He is the one who ended this, after all. But isn’t that what a relationship is, though: two people who make mistakes, love each other, and work through their problems? He can fix this. In this moment, he knows he can.

       And just like that, the meeting goes from a sincere arrangement to check on the woman that he broke to a mission of redemption.

       She reaches Ruel’s table and automatically looks down, pretending to see something on her shoe. There is plenty to be said but still a sense of mystery lingers between them, considering their last time seeing each other ended poorly. He places his hand on her shoulder. This makes her look up.

       Oh no, here it goes. The pity hug.

       As much as Y/N dreads being pitied by Ruel, if it means getting a hug from him then she doesn’t mind. She’s not sure what kind of look to give him to indicate that she’s okay with the hug, because she knows that he won’t do it if she’s not okay with it. She looks up at him. Why does he look significantly taller now? She indicates in her brain to give off friendly eye contact, unsure what she actually looks like in person.

       She looks at him like she’s over him. The kind smile he sees on her face screams, “I’m okay. Yes, you did hurt me, but I’m good now. In fact, I’m actually better for it.” Wow, maybe he can’t redeem himself. Although she seemed distraught over the phone, she seems to be doing pretty good for herself now. Nevertheless, he reaches to wrap his arms around her figure, and she leans into it. They both take in the embrace of each other for what seems to be an eternity.

       Why did they break up in the first place? Ruel has to fix this.

       When she lets go first, he looks down at her to see if the expression has changed. It has, she looks sad. She raises her hands to adjust the scarf on her head just in case the hug had damaged it in any way. Ruel tugs his hands into his pockets.

       “Hey,” he finally breathes out.

       “Hey, Ruel.” They both go to sit down, and he fights the urge to push in her seat for her when he sees her struggle to scoot in. The condensation that had pooled up around what used to be her ice water left a small stain on the tablecloth. The ice had melted, and she wonders how long she actually took to get ready.

       “How long have you been here? I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” She really didn’t. And now she wonders how much extra time she could’ve had with Ruel tonight if she hadn’t contemplated her damn outfit for so long. Who knows the next time she’ll see him? If ever again.

       “Oh, don’t worry about it. I came a little early just because. Wanted to make sure I got here first in case you were lost.”

       The silence between them returns and seems to take every ounce of Y/N’s hope with it.

       Ruel really does want to know how she is, but he doesn’t want to make any wrong moves. If he’s going to get this relationship back then he can’t make it seem like he’s okay with being without her. His heart signals him to ask her if she forgives him. If there’s any way that they could not even start over but try to make amends and continue to build what he tried to destroy. Somehow, what comes out of his mouth is “How are you?”

       She hesitantly replies, “I’m okay, how’ve you been?”

       “It’s been alright. The sessions have been great.” She looks at him to tell her more because she’s genuinely interested. And the longer that they talk off topic, the longer it’ll take before they have to discuss what actually brought them both here.

       He doesn’t really want to talk too much. After all, this is about her. To see how she’s been. Well, to get her back actually. But he continues anyways. Because he does not want the night to end.

       “I feel like there’s a difference in what I’m doing now from the way I used to record. It all feels very different. In a really good way, though.” A look of realization flashes over Y/N’s face, and he gives her a confused one right back.

       “Happy belated Birthday. I’m sorry. It crossed my mind.”

       He smiles. “Thank you. And you don’t have to be sorry.”

       The silence is back. There’s no more hope left for it to take from Y/N. So instead, a little bit of Ruel’s confidence is stripped away.

       He was just about to say it, but now he’s not so sure. And Y/N seems to have gotten quite comfortable with the awkwardness as he watches her pick through her salad. If he doesn’t say it, what’s gonna happen? There’s no way that she’ll be able to go back home and feel relieved if she’s still in love with him. He shouldn’t put her through any more pain though. If she’s truly healed and grown from the break up, he should leave her be. Let her stay on the shelf where he left her before continuing to live his own life. She seems to be put back together now, and if he really loves her then he’ll give her a chance at real happiness without him.

       Fuck that.

       “Do you think there’s any way that we could ever,” he struggles to finish his sentence. Partially because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s trying to say. But he knows what he wants, and he knows that there’s no way he’ll be able to get that by keeping his mouth closed.

       Her heart thumps. What exactly is happening right now? Is he about to ask for a friendship? Because even though it’s going to truly hurt her, she’ll do it for him. She’ll do anything. When he looks up, she can see that he’s cursed away whatever it is that was holding him back the first time.

       “I’m trying to see where you are with this. I know, I know you said that you missed me and that you didn’t want this in the first place.”

       She cuts him off. “Okay, you do understand that this wasn’t a mutual thing for me, right? I didn’t want any of this. I just wanted whatever you wanted.” She looks down.

       Y/N refuses to cry in front of Ruel. Even though it wouldn’t be the first time and he’ll know exactly what to do, she can’t bring herself to that state of vulnerability ever again. Not after confessing that she still loved him over texts. It’s over, and she refuses to let that take her back into a depressed state. It’s no one’s job to take care of her except for herself now.

       What was he to do? He just nods, puts his head down and takes in a deep breath before deciding that enough is enough. Ruel thought that “making things right” meant checking on Y/N and being supportive during the entire closure situation. But as long as they’re not together, Ruel’s not sure it will ever be enough to make either of them happy again. It seems as if breaking up didn’t fix any problems but rather put them all on hold until they saw each other again. Nothing was actually wrong with them.  He still loved her. He was still very attracted to her. And he still feared that his distant lifestyle was ultimately hurting her. At some point, his concern for them to have a stable relationship outweighed his desire to be with her. It just wasn’t possible. Was it? Is it now?

       It really doesn’t make any sense to put Y/N through any more pain, but he’s not sure what will hurt her more: leaving the situation alone or trying to repair the damage.

       “I thought I was doing the right thing,” he continues, “..by leaving you.” A look of disgust takes over her face and she just shakes her head. Tears cloud her vision and it burns, but Y/N refuses to let a single drop fall.

       Doubt and anger with himself begin to block Ruel’s focus. However, change can be painful. If both were in pain, then maybe they did have a chance.

       “Wait-stop,” she begins. Confusion floods her gaze and she continues to shake her head. “Why am I here? Why are we here, Ruel?” She looks pissed.

       Maybe they don’t actually have a chance. She seems upset. One of Y/N’s least favorite things about Ruel was his ability to hide what he was really feeling in stressful situations. This made arguing with him extremely difficult. Although she had a hard time reading him, she always had a couple of certainties in the back of her mind: She was sure that he loved her, and she was always sure that he wanted to work things out no matter how difficult they seemed. But now, she had no idea what he was feeling or if he even wanted to work this out. Despite whatever dark exterior he tried to mask his emotions with, Ruel was a sweetheart when it came to her and always tried to keep her from any emotional damage.

       Ruel sighs. “Look, this has all been so hard for me. Juggling my career with our relationship. There was always hardships and I felt like I was hurting you. I just couldn’t do that to you anymore.”

       He can feel his heart break into pieces as streams of tears stain both sides of her face. She can’t keep a strong front anymore.

       “Nothing-“ she stops for a second to sniffle and grab the napkin on her side to wipe her face.

       “Nothing ever hurt more than when you left me.”

       Ruel feels shame and regret. Knowing that he was the sole person who caused her this pain yielded a weight on his shoulders like no other.

       “I know, and I am so sorry for that. It all just happened so fast-“

       “What, your career or our relationship?” She is definitely pissed off now.

        “Both, I guess,” he lets out in a light chuckle. His attempts at lightening the mood were all but successful and Ruel couldn’t tell if he had just made things worst by telling the truth.

       “I didn’t realize that being with me caused you so much hardship, Ruel”

       “No, no, it didn’t. There was just so much I wanted to do. So much I wanted to give you. And the realities of my job took away from all of that. I just didn’t want to deprive you of a normal, stable relationship. So I pulled away.” The looks Y/N gave him as he delivered his half-assed excuses ran chills down his spine. She looks up at him like he is the only person on Earth who has ever caused any kind of pain to her. And that could very well be true.

       At least they were getting somewhere now. Even though it might not be where Ruel wanted to go.

       “That’s the thing, though. I was fine with it, I was fine with it all. As long as I was with you, I was happy. I didn’t care about the late nights or the sneaking around. I didn’t care about the invasion of privacy or the constant criticism from fans. I was perfectly happy because I had you, so none of that extra stuff even mattered.”

       “You deserve better than that, Y/N. You deserve mor-“ She cut him off again.

       “You don’t get to determine what I deserve. Only I do. And I thought I deserved to be happy with you. Or to be treated as an equal in this relationship.” Her voice chokes up at the end of her statement. It sounded like it took all but the last once of her energy to say all of that to him without crying in hysterics.

       Her right hand was resting on top of the white tablecloth next to her glass. Ruel reached his own hand over and placed it on top of hers. She didn’t pull away. He takes this opportunity to make full eye contact and give another try at reversing the damage that seems to be irreversible. His hazel orbs meet hers and they have a tender moment for the first time tonight. Ruel lightly runs his fingers on top of her hand in the same circular motion he used to rub her back.

       He takes this time to attempt to tell her what he needs to tell her without saying any words because the first few approaches didn’t go so well. The light chatter of others eating and conversating in the restaurant serves as a soothing soundtrack playing in the background of their exchange of looks. He doesn’t want to ruin this moment but he also wants to savor it. Ruel wants to make sure that he can share moments like this with her over and over again. So he takes a leap of faith. He closes his eyes to brace himself for the possible rejection and goes for it.

       “I still love you.”

[capricornus-rex]

Someone Left to Save (14)

Photo from @calkestisisbaby

Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by Anon

Summary: The Mantis crew arrives to the capital of Ulfin, in the planet of Pevera, under siege. They meet the local rebel cell spearheaded by the former Republic admiral, Jax Beneb, who seeks to destroy the Empire’s occupation that was aggressively imposed upon while exploiting the planet of its natural resources. A plan is devised to destroy the Imperial’s main base of operations—as well as their influence—in the planet; however, it was a do-or-die mission that you and Cal had gotten yourselves caught in.

Tags: Force-Sensitive! Reader, Inquisitor! Reader, Jedi! Reader, Fake Death, Jedi turned Inquisitor, Seduction to the Dark Side, Turn to the Dark Side, The Dark Side of the Force, Aftermath of Torture, Torture, Psychological Torture, Redemption Arc! Reader, Possible Redemption, Premonitions

Also in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 | Previous: Part 13 | Next: Part 15 | Masterlist

14 of ?

The throttle of the speeder bike parts the sand across the reddish-brown, arid expanse. Nothing but the noise of the motors roared across the wilderness and the whistling howl of the wind that burned your cheeks as you sped through. Feeling Cal's Force Echo on you felt nauseating yet intoxicating, you wanted more—not because of the essence of his ability, but of his touch—even in that stone-cold exterior you have carved out for yourself, you cannot deny that you yearned for the human touch that is inherently absent in the Inquisitorius.

Whether you like it or not: the real you still exists, bottling it all up just became five times harder after you encountered Cal—since the incident at the old Jedi Temple in the outskirts of Jeddah. You bite your lip to fight the tears, unconsciously spiking the speed of your bike forward, and all at once the sensation of his hand rubbed itself around yours—the faltering and abrupt jerk of the vehicle brought you out of your zoned-out state.

In the stillness of the surroundings, you afforded a moment to remove your helmet and catch your breath. You allow one tear to fall, only to wipe it right away with one gloved hand.

"Good thing I'm in the middle of nowhere or this would be really embarrassing!" You exhaled.

The engine growls back into life, you pick up the speed and head straight for the garrison.

By the time you've arrived to the base, the same Purge Troopers showed up sans the child. When asked, their answer was they've already went ahead and secured the baby in the medical bay—given that it's the only appropriate place in the entire garrison to keep it. They tell you the floor of the particular med-bay. 

"Thank you, return to your post."

They bowed and turned their back on you. One of the Purge Troopers was foolish enough to lean in and whisper a comment to the other.

"Too polite for an Inquisitor, for my taste, at least,"

"You always notice the little, petty things,"

You ignored the words and proceeded to the said medical bay. The entire room is manned by medical droids of different variants—surgical, general medicine, and drone types. The closest qualifier to looking after the child is the GH-7 medical droid—basically, the all-around in terms of medical specializations.

A deadpan remark forms in your lips, "At least, you won't have that kid crying in your face every time you check on it."

Unable to detect the sarcasm, the droid plainly asks why. You didn't humor it for an answer.

"Nevermind." You sigh and roll your eyes with resignation.

You shifted your attention to the child who was settled in a makeshift bassinet, you couldn't figure out what the crib was before it was turned into a hovering, spherical pod that fits an infant, though it's of no importance. You ordered the child to be fed, cleaned, checked for vitals, and be given medicine and supplements if necessary. The droid obediently took note of all your orders before you retired to your own room.

Out of courtesy, some officers and cadets tipped the brims of their caps at you, accompanied by the utterance of your title—to which you responded with a curt, slow bow.

Finally, you've encased yourself in the solace of your quarters. The sensation of your body sinking into the mattress gave you a sense of comfort and relief, removing your gloves felt liberating; you shake your fingers to wring off the chafing and feel the skin against your fingertips again. A sigh escapes your lungs, you find yourself rubbing the hand that Cal had touched and inflicted his Psychometry—his grip was tight, but gentle so it doesn't hurt you, even in that intense interlock of your lightsabers.

You stand up from your bed so you seat yourself in the center of the room, you cross your legs together and straighten your back. Eyelids dropped and shrouded your vision in darkness, you recall the teachings the Inquisitors have beaten into your head, but something else is clawing for your attention—Cal. No matter how many times you decline it in your head, it just becomes more persistent by the minute, the influence of the Force Echo still ran fresh in your system.

Then his words came flooding into your mind, echoing and trailing off like a hollow gong.

“What have they done to you?”

“This isn’t you…”

“Enough…” you sobbed.

You curl into a ball, raking your scalp as you bury your face into your knees, resisting from succumbing into this haunting episode. You reply to the voices with great refusal and denial.

“It’s because you’re afraid…”

“STOP!” you cry out, alone in your room. After your outburst, you realize that you might have alerted some patrolling guards; you sit still, expecting a polite knock followed by a “Are you alright?”, none of them came—much to your relief. Although, Cal’s voice and words persists; you didn’t really notice until now that his voice and the collective voice of the Inquisitors constantly thrashed at each other like predators against one another.

“I didn’t abandon you. I looked for you…”

This is perhaps what prevailed the whole time. Cal’s tiny spark of hope in those words shone its way through the cold of your armor. You couldn’t help but feel betrayed by your brothers and sisters, they who groomed you into a killing machine with a red blade like them, and constantly gaslighted you into thinking that you were abandoned—by your friends and ultimately, by Cal—and that you owe your life to them , the Inquisitors.

“He… looked for me? He wanted to find me?” you mumble under your breath, clutching your chest as your heart calmed down. 

You’re reminded of your bracelet that he wore around his wrist. You could only wonder how many time he looked at it, touched it with and without Psychometry, and just simply remembered you.

“He kept it, too…”

Your heart ached, and eventually so, you melted to the floor and reduced into a sobbing mess—all these feelings fighting in your mind, unsure which one to feel.

Anger? Yes, but for whom this time?

Sadness? For Cal and the life you’ve lost, most certainly.

Hope? Bleak but possible.

“You still have a choice…”

“Twelfth Sister?” the voice in your head trailed off the moment your gauntlet comms bleeped.

You jumped, startled by the sound. You recomposed yourself and cleared your throat prior to answering.

“We require your assistance in the war room.”

“Of course, Captain, I’ll be on my way.”

—- 

Cal is exactly in the same predicament as you in the confines of his cramped room.

A while ago, he had picked up your outburst in the middle of his own meditation. He wondered what had slipped into your mind to put you in such an overwhelming mental state. All he could feel was sadness, his free hand trailed to the cord around his wrist and ran his thumb against the tarnished metal pendant.

Earlier, when he returned to the Mantis, he announced that you took a Force-sensitive child from the city, everybody was up in arms to concoct a plan—especially Cere, knowing full well what they’ll do to captive Force-sensitive children.

During that planning, the former Jedi held her finger, her expression in full, deep thought and then she marches to the communications station—her personal workspace—in the cockpit without a word to anyone. With her dexterous fingers, she fiddled with the dashboard, her arms and hands moving from one spot to another—acting on pure muscle memory and instinct.

“I found a signal,” spoke Cere softly, and she obligated to repeat herself when she assumed no one had heard her. “There’s a signal, coming from the reception tower of an Imperial garrison in the east. I’ve been keeping up with them through their comms; transport ships are frequently deployed there for various purposes—ration supply runs, troop deployment, pickup, you name it. No doubt, [Y/N] will have the child delivered to their fortress on one of those ships.”

She fine-tuned the frequency by slightly turning the knob back and forth until the audio went clear—the entire comms of the Imperial garrison plays through the Mantis’s speakers for everyone to hear.

“I just received word from the Twelfth Sister. They’re orders to request a transport ship to Mons Golotha.”

The crew collectively pulled their eyebrows together at the mention of an Inquisitor’s title and the name of a new planet, but they put aside the questions for later.

“Date of departure?”

“No word yet, she says she’ll personally see to it. I think it must be a heads up.”

“Yeah, well, they’ll process her request real quick. Inquisitors always get the priority here.”

“It’s almost like Lord Vader but less terrifying.”

Cere lowered the volume, and turned to Cal.

“Twelfth Sister?” Greez grumbled in a hybrid of disbelief and confusion.

“That’s [Y/N], she’s the Twelfth Sister among the Inquisitors,” Cal coldly answered.

An awkward silence befell between the Lateron and the young boy.

“Are you gonna burst in there like you did last time?” inquired Merrin.

“Well, it worked thus far,”

“And look where it got you.”

Merrin wins the banter of wits. Cal yields willingly, though he retained to the topic of how to rescue the child and you, without any sarcastic comebacks brimming with sound points. Cere presumed it ought to be a trap, reading between the lines of the last few sentences the Stormtroopers said; she made it clear that you are not to be underestimated, for an alliance with the Dark Side and the Inquisitorius, no less, has made you doubly unpredictable.

The adult woman hacks into the garrison’s systems again and produces a rough, three-dimensional blueprint of the complex to amp out their entry and escape. Using the computer’s projector, the holomap floats in the center of the cockpit, surrounded by everyone.

“Once we’re in the garrison yard, I can find a computer and hack it so we can get a map of the inside,” commented Cere.

Cal rotated the map so the back side of the garrison complex faces him.

“I can scale its southern wall and sneak past the guards there, which I think would be minimal, considering they’re in the middle of nowhere. I’ll create an opening for us—Cere, you’ll be the one finding the kid.”

“And I take it that you’re coming after [Y/N] then?”

Cal clicked his tongue at the same time he pointed his finger at Cere in the shape of a gun, while keeping a poker face. In response, Cere sighed and rolled her eyes, equivalent to the saying, “Of course, you will.”

He had a feeling that the transport was a front, he reminds himself of the lone TIE Fighter he spotted earlier; and so, he couldn’t afford to let another hour pass to let your plan succeed. He asks Cere to keep the comms on while their own signature is masked, it’ll be their only way of knowing if you’re on the move; it’s also his guilty pleasure of hearing your voice again, for he always thinks the moments you have together aren’t enough, it isn’t exactly docile either—given the current predicament.

While they were debating on the best approach for stealth, the speakers crackled again and drew everyone’s attention.

“Captain?”

Cal jumped on his feet as soon as he heard your voice at the first word.

“She on!”

“How long until my ship is ready for travel?”

“Not for long now, Inquisitor.”

Over the comms, the baby could be heard fussing in between your exchange with Captain Foros; another thing is the impending storm that’s gradually disrupting the signals, making it hard to piece together the conversation.

“Make sure… I leave… hour and a half…”

“Yes-s-s-s… Inquisitor…”

With everything they’ve gathered so far, Cal assumed that they only have an hour and half left to reach you before you get off-world.

“We have to go!”

Cal and Cere dashed to the door, the boy slams the same button that opens the contained door with the speeder. Cere drove the speeder, when they closed enough distance between themselves and the garrison, she scrambled the signal of the speeder as they approached the complex. According to plan, Cere dropped Cal at the backside of the garrison.

“Hey, Cal?”

The boy turned around before even taking his first step.

“Save her.”

There is a heaviness in those two simple words, Cal felt it in his heart, nonetheless the determination is there. He clenched his fist and looked at Cere straight in the eye.

“I plan to.”

[aegonbeingfakeisracist]

A compilation of quotes that demonstrate why Aegon should be real:

“My father had a saying too. Never wound a foe when you can kill him. Dead men don’t claim vengeance.”

“Their sons do,” said Hoster, apologetically.

“Not if you kill the sons as well. Ask the Casterlys about that if you doubt me. Ask Lord and Lady Tarbeck, or the Reynes of Castamere. Ask the Prince of Dragonstone.” For an instant, the deep red clouds that crowned the western hills reminded him of Rhaegar’s children, all wrapped up in crimson cloaks.

Dramatic irony!  Jaime thinks Aegon can’t claim vengeance because he was murdered right alongside Elia. PSYCH, he lived, and he’s coming home.

And now my sweet sister sends me to finish the work that Amory Lorch and Gregor Clegane began. 

I wrote a whole post about this, but...Tywin ordered Amory Lorch and Gregor Clegane to do more than just ravage the Riverlands, he ordered them to kill Aegon and Rhaenys. If Aegon is real, then they did not finish that task!

Prince Rhaegar burned with a cold light, now white, now red, now dark. "I left my wife and children in your hands."

"I never thought he'd hurt them." Jaime's sword was burning less brightly now. "I was with the king..."

Jaime’s whole story is about loyalty and conflicting vows and to whom he owes his allegiance. His story is less redemption arc, more journey to self awareness and making peace with the person he is. And this, this could be the grand culmination of that. He contemplates breaking his vow to Catelyn Stark about never again taking up arms against Stark or Tully because his oath to his king came first. This raises the question of which king. Jaime swore himself to Aerys and cut his throat. This would be the ultimate test of what he believes about himself. Is he right? Did he truly not believe that Tywin would harm Rhaegar’s wife and children? If that’s true, doesn’t he owe something to the boy whose family his own family butchered? It would mean far, far more than Jaime doing anything to help Sansa or Arya. It would even mean more than him doing something to help Bran. Jaime killed Aegon’s grandfather. It was over the corpses of “Aegon” and Rhaenys that the Lannisters climbed to power. So what does it mean when the real Aegon comes home?

"I was seven when Elia died. They say I held her daughter Rhaenys once, when I was too young to remember. Aegon will be a stranger to me, whether true or false."

Arianne makes a very good point here - she never knew Aegon. Rhaenys, she could have. Even though Arianne doesn’t remembering holding her young cousin as she’s been told she did, Rhaenys resembled Elia. Had it been Rhaenys that returned, it’s possible that Arianne could have more easily believed she’s who she claims to be, because she can recognize the Martell look in her cousin. But with Aegon, it almost doesn’t matter. Arianne doesn’t know him. She’s never known him. And she can’t tell from appearance whether he’s who he claims to be. That makes the idea of him being real all the more compelling and tragic - he’s Rhaegar and Elia’s son, and while his father’s family has been wiped out, his mother’s still exists and sees him as a stranger. He was born to two legacies and has no real connection to either side of his family’s heritage.

“So they tell us,” said the old fellow. “Might be they’re lying, though. He died half a world away, if he died at all. Who’s to say? If a king wanted me dead, might be I’d oblige him and pretend to be a corpse. None of us has ever seen his body.”

“I never saw Joffrey’s corpse, nor Robert’s,” growled the Eel’s proprietor. 

“Maybe they’re all alive as well. Maybe Baelor the Blessed’s just been having him a little nap all these years.” The old fellow made a face. “Prince Viserys weren’t the only dragon, were he? Are we sure they killed Prince Rhaegar’s son? A babe, he was.”

This becomes comically overcomplicated if you take this as evidence that Aegon’s really dead. So Viserys, Joffrey, and Robert are all dead, even though the people never saw their bodies, so that means that Aegon is also dead? Or...Viserys, Joffrey, and Robert are all dead, but Aegon is alive. Aegon was raised in hiding to keep him safe. But now, there’s no reason to hide anymore, and he’s coming home.

[a-student-out-of-time]

Twisted Sister Arc Review Part 2

Mindwipe

Welcome back everyone! Last time we looked how Kanade killed everyone, got the shit beaten out of her by a lot of people, mainly Nikei and Hibiki though, stuff the Mod doesn’t want to talk about and now that timeline is DED. Now it’s time to deal with Kanade proper as we already wasted a life on her (actually she ate two lives now, as she was responsible for Hajime dying the first time, he lost a life) and we don’t need any more lives being lost.

With a reset and briefing of the QC of how Kanade got strok, it’s time for Hajime and Nikei to beeline to Hope’s Peak and this time they are not fucking around as Kanade racked up a decent body count last time, and that’s not an experience they want to repeat. But first thing’s first time for Hajime to keep his promise to Massacre!Nikei and make sure that Iroha doesn’t become the first victim to Kanade and start the chain reaction off. I think we Anons do kinda feel guilty for getting Iroha killed the first time around as she was supposed to be on a date with Makoto that day, and of course Makoto’s wonderful luck meant the Prison Break had to happen on that day, and rather than stay with Makoto, she rushed in to stop Kanade. Then again, we all assumed that Kanade was still the same pathetic serial killer that Hajime and Sonia dealt with in the Concert Arc and didn’t get more generous buffs then Samus did from Smash 64 to Melee, so hindsight 20/20, I guess? Anyway, they get Iroha to go back to her ahoge boyfriend and now at Hope’s Peak it’s time for Hajime’s grand master plan to bring…EVERYONE FROM CLASS 77-B! *Insert Smash Ultimate meme here* Oh and Juzo, he’s useful too, I guess. Kanade arrives to begin the plot of Carrie, but instead gets tear gas in her face, a swift pound down from Class 77-B, and Juzo, and then is quickly disabled by Mikan. Again, like with the whole Kanade Vs. Hibiki fight beforehand, I would love to see an animation of Class 77-B just beating the living snot out of Kanade and this is much better imo then when Sonia kicked the living shit out of Kanade. There our reasons for hating Kanade were basically all the shit she pulled in SDAR2, but here we just had a bad timeline where Kanade killed a bunch of people, and likeable people as well, and thus as they say…the fallen have been avenged.

Of course, getting Kanade’s arse handed to her was half the battle, as now the focus is on; what the heck is going on here? A quick check from the biology people revealed some very worrying facts. The first one is that Kanade’s syringe contained an addictive which not only can keep a person awake for days, but the chemical compound is unique, only came out for a few months in 2003 and all the people involved in it are in jail. Then there is the fact that she has dermal armour which looks like skin on her, which while flexible like skin, is strong enough to block bullets and blades. The experimental nature of it makes it highly expensive as well, meaning whoever is behind this, they are loaded and have resources. And then there is the confirmation that yes, she has a BCI. One that is full of combat data and information on Class 77-B. This is the most worrying part in my opinion. Anyone in the Despairs with enough money and resources could do all the above but VERY few people knew that Hibiki came over to Hope’s Peak and bonded with Class 77-B. The data required for that narrows suspect list down a lot and the implications are…worrying. Whoever backed Kanade, they are not to be underestimated.

And then comes when Yasuke is relevant to the plot for once and the whole Mindwipe proposal. So first let’s talk Yasuke. A lot of people hated the idea he was on the side of good here, as they prefereed it when he was just Junko’s boyfriend. Thing is though, I feel like Yasuke could work here. Remember he never bought Junko’s despair ideology and while he is an arsehole, he could be the ‘Byakuya’ of the group in which he is a cold jerk who says harsh things, but said harsh things are required as there are uncomfortable truths out there which the rest of the QC are either too afraid or too polite to say. I just hope Mod doesn’t bow down to peer pressure and make Yasuke a bone fila villain just because people hate him, but maybe tone down his jackarsey a bit. I know its canonically accurate but not everyone has read Zero and as such I don’t think people are used to that kind of harsh words coming from a non-antagonistic character.

And then there is the Mindwipe…naturally this a decision which has caused many readers to be split on it, and even for the QC to have a scrum debate over it. Don’t lie, you all heard the music. And unlike with a scrum debate where one side is clearly one, here both sides have a point. Mindwiping Kanade is ethically wrong on so many levels, and easily the darkest thing the QC have done, but they also don’t have a lot of options because there is a Prison Break to deal with, and Kanade was gonna be killed anyway so this is keeping her body alive but just killing her mind. They may be the good guys here, but given how morally deprived their opponents are, sometimes you do have to swoop to their level because you have little choice in the matter. It’s also interesting to see everyone’s viewpoints on it, some stating that from leadership like characters such as Sonia and Nikei arguing that at times you do have to make difficult choices and they don’t have the luxury of being morally right all the time, pragmatic characters like Sora stating that a mindwiped and redeemed Kanade could be beneficial to them if they do go down this route, to those who have spiritual issues like with Gundham, moral problems like with Chiaki and ethical problems like with Kyoji. Nobody is split in the middle, you either think mindwiping is the best possible solution, or if it’s so wrong it cannot be done. Arguing got so bad that Yoruko had to step in and get Hibiki, the most important person as far this matter goes, to decide. And Hibiki vents her feelings on the matter, and decides that since both sides have good points, to just vote on the matter.

This is one of the best parts here because it isn’t done by the characters but rather the audience. After all, given this is such a morally questionable decision it makes sense for the audience to decide what path they are going down. And thus, votes are casted…a lot more people read this then I suspected, and a significant majority go towards mindwiping. I dunno how they explain the votes though as there clearly isn’t that many people voting so how does one in-universe count the Anons’ votes? But again, I’m not surprised the mindwipe came through as Kanade is a popular character in the fandom (She ranked #2 in the official SDAR2 popularity poll, just behind Sora) so any chances of Kanade getting a redemption arc especially as we would have a Ryoko-espe character with her, would be something the fanbase would gobble up. I just hope none of the QC resent this decision, they may regret it but they have to remember it’s a hard choice for all of them and they didn’t have a lot of options. Even those against the Mindwipe would have to do their part, after all they are a team. At least Yasuke is considerate enough for all blame regarding the consequences of the mindwipe to be directed at him as he kinda forced the decision onto us. Hopefully Kyoji and Kokoro made sure he didn’t turn Kanade into a Despair Sleeper Agent or something. However, I did genuinely enjoy the audience participation here and I hope more chances like this come up in the future as it gives the audience a greater degree of control on how the story pans out.

That’s Kanade dealt with, but The QC cannot rest yet, because her escaping wasn’t the only bad thing to occur, there’s a Prison Break and tons of criminals running around that need wrangling! And with that the second part of the review concludes. Next time for the final time we talk about dealing with them damn prisoners and my final overall thoughts on the Arc! See ya then- Review Anon