#uncompassionateness

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I think ought to be more readily-available and encouraged is simply... taking parental classes. I wish it were more common for people to realize just how hard - and important - parenting is, and indeed, that we all could use help with taking care of young folk. It's really alarming that popular opinion is still that parental classes are only for the "fuck-up" parents, or the parents who utterly failed. It should be seen as a good thing to take parental classes - especially on your own volition. It should be seen as imperative for one to take them, it should be a free, accurate, and scheduled occurrence so that people of any background are able to attend.

[fuxling]

I'm already seeing a bunch of posts on my dash about the server, the btd community ect.

I don't think the community quite gets it yet:

Everyone is a fallible person. Adults learn from their mistakes, even with their own personal consequences. At times, the consequences aren't visible, but they're there.

Call out posts hurt people.

There's still a lot of young folks in the community who haven't found the way to be educated on a lot of shit, and while that's unfortunate and can cause issues, it's even more dangerous to just call everyone awful and start slinging insults and starting hunts.

Let an exhausted creator rest and heal.

Let young adults who make stupid mistakes learn from their stupid mistakes. Stop making call out posts, starting drama, making side servers to speculate. Humans learn from their fuck ups, it's apart of being alive, but you don't give them room to change if you're just pushing out posts and posts and posts about how people fuck up.

They don't put your failures in the newspaper. Have some respect and allow others dignity, especially when they are willing to learn from where they tripped. That's how you grow as a person.

You're not responsible for everything on the internet. Folks are gonna grow and learn, it doesn't matter if you post a callout post. That just breeds more misinformation and abuse, and often times damages those who are trying to learn from where they fucked up.

Focus on you. Lay down your urge to clean up other people's messes. Be respectful, patient, and compassionate. Say your part and leave. t's a practice, it doesn't come naturally. Hold others accountable, but allow them room to change and grow.

[lesbianb]

“some people are triggered by reclaimed slurs and they shouldn’t be mocked for that” and “some people find reclaiming slurs empowering, both historically and in present day” are sentiments that can coexist

[noisytenant]

not that i never have the urge to (publicly) make fun of people, but i truly find it kind of indefensible.

generally the underlying sentiment of mockery is that someone has done something shameful, so obviously unacceptable that it should never have been shared. and more than that, it's so repulsive and trifling that it isn't even worth acknowledging as a serious concept. you're simply "above" such things.

but what gives you the right to assert that? how are you so certain that your norms are the "correct" ones? why would you disqualify another person from your regard?

i think mockery often comes from a desire to disengage from something that doesn't seem "worth one's time". i think it's important to value our energy and to not try to engage with things that yield little to no reward. but i reject the idea that anyone can actually be "above" anyone or anything else.

shame is a corroding force. it doesn't generate meaningful change, only superficial compliance. and if you treat others with such contempt, then how are you treating yourself? i just don't think it's worth it.

[fancyfade]

me looking at Tim's potential long list of flaws DC didn't intend him to have but that make him read as less compassionate or more prone to judgment: but DC I like him better this way.

[northwest-by-a-train]

I think one of the reasons modern conspiracy theorists always include some sort of lotus-eater Überdrug that makes you unredeemably evil, whether that's adrenochrome or captagon or extended use of cocaine and various acids, it's because there are behaviours that seem so alien to what is normal human experience that drugs feel like the only plausible justification. The horrors of neoliberalism, war, casual human cruelties seem, I think, very alien to a majority of the population, who are unable to recognize that these "cruel" people just do believe in what they are doing. That this is something every human being has potential for. That they themselves have the potential for it. They look within themselves for the potential for these heinous crimes, whether real or imagined, and I genuinely believe most do not find it, or do not recognize it as such.

And if it's not within themselves, it can't be just within other people, it must come from the evil drug. This of course is one of the underlying assumptions of the war on drugs, that the drugs are the cause of whichever social ills, homelessness, mass shootings, petty crime, drug robberies gone awry, awful parenting, etc... And nowadays you see it has expanded to include mental illness. That the political enemy as well as the mass shooter and the homeless person down the street are all some flavor of insane. It can't be something whose potential resides in each and every one of us. It must be the fugue state of evil cast over their minds.

I say this because seeing videos of people in Israel filming themselves saying their Air Force is pummeling Gaza, that soon there will be nothing but bones and ruins, that they'll build a theme park there, that the land is being cleansed of evil, that the prophecy is being accomplished, that this is the land god gave them, that there are no civilians, that children there really do deserve to die... Who say this not with the somberness of realpolitik or ideology but in a kind of gleeful dreamy trance....

And I find that within me I can not believe a fellow human being could do that. I know intellectually that it's very possible that at a certain junction of ideology and personality, it's possible to say that and believe it. But watching some of these people my heart refuses to believe this isn't the result of some combination of cocaine, meth, undiagnosed personality disorders, periods or menopause, lead poisoning, gas leaks, black mold, toxoplasmosis, lack of sleep..... It feels impossible — and I do mean a profound feeling, something within that makes itself felt — that fellow human beings could have a heart this depraved. And here I'd rather feel a deep human connection with every wacko conspiracy person who has ever lived and grossly misapprehended the world, blaming it all on evil magic pills and unstable female hormones and whatever, than to feel for a second a shared human kinship with those profoundly hateful people. There is a limit to reason and thought and imagination within me and it has been reached. And I believe many, observing this conflict, have found this limit in themselves, on both sides of the conflict. And I cannot believe this will end well either.

[llycaons]

'jc is mean to wwx postcanon and it makes him happy' remains my most beloathed fanon. besides all of character and thematic reasons it sucks ass name one time wwx was happy to be treated like shit postcanon. one time. jc made him cry in one of those scenes

[lex-munro]

There's something really gross about people who use queer tags to proselitize with shame-disguised-as-hope. "I called myself [insert queer label here] for a long time, but now I realize that even after temptation, you can return to Christ! #lgbtqia+" They like to say they're not condemning queer folk, but they still imply (very insistently) that our queerness has led us astray of goodness and morality. Fuck those people. Guess what Christ said about queerness. Go ahead and guess. If you guessed anything but "Absolutely nothing/He never mentioned it," you are wrong. Read the entire Bible, any version, and look specifically for what Jesus Christ of Nazareth had to say about anything queer. You're not going to find anything. The closest you'll get is the time he healed a queer person with zero hesitation, zero judgment, and zero sermon.

[aromacaque]

i think the reason analysis on donnie's character riles me up so much is almost every bad take i ever see is just straight up ableism. it's someone who did not take into account that he's autistic while trying to pinpoint what's going on in his head and, as a result, grossly misinterprets his character.

[uncanny-tranny]

If this is too personal a question I fully understand (if so: sorry and I hope you have a great day!), but I was just curious:

Why were you using 1/3 of a bottle of detergent for your clothes? was it a ocd compulsion situation/anxiety thing or something else entirely?

thank you for reading, and please do know that you truly bring a lot of good to this world! <3

No clue if it was OCD, an otherwise compulsion, or just a quirk, but it definitely wasn't helpful that in that instance, I was shut down entirely.

Which is why it's so important to actually listen to patients, you know? Like, not only was I not listened to, but if this were a serious issue (it actually has become a larger issue now that I'm an adult with my own income, admittedly), it wouldn't have be addressed at all. There are so many small ways that therapists, psychiatrists, authority figures, whomever, really, just... ignore problems because they're convinced that they're just infallible and the person they're addressing is, like, inherently beneath them.

[skylordhorus]

i feel like too much energy is spent on tumblr dot com arguing abt whether transmis*ndry or trans*ndrophobia are viable terms, and not enough spent on actually listening to trans men talking abt issues they face

[bicurioustomhardy]

gonna start blocking everyone that reblogs that 'guilt trip' post

[annabelle--cane]

so sad that people got sick of "doomed by the narrative" and decided it was cringe, because fate and free will in fiction has been a major interest of mine for like eight years, but alas so it goes. anything that gets popular is destined to become reviled in short order. it's like some sort of unstoppable, uncompassionate, avaricious cycle of rising and falling and rising again. like whatever happens, no matter the intentions, it will always result in the same tragic ending. you could almost say it was d

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

So, we got new flooring put in part of the house. And in moving furniture, it looks like we scratched the floor. This is deeply upsetting my mom.

I understand that it's new and was expensive and she wants it to look new and expensive a while longer, and that scratches significantly affect her enjoyment of the new space.

What I don't understand is why, if scratches are something she cares about, we didn't get something harder to scratch? Why not tile, or soft linoleum that doesn't really mark, or solid-color hardwood that we can rub with oil to make scratches disappear? What is a floor for besides moving things across? If we're moving something fragile, I want to worry about the fragile thing? I don't want to have to be careful with the floor, you know?

[daydreamerdrew]

The Hulk! (1978) #25

[looklikeapencil]

I never learn when it comes to haircuts... Every time I get it cut short, immediately after I'm like "fuck, I look like my grandma" (who I deeply hate) and then a week or two later I warm up to it. It's probably that it needs to be messy and lived in for a while but either way, it makes me so nauseous to look like her for even a minute. It reminds me of what I could be if I'm not careful. If that makes sense? Sometimes I feel like I have to actively police my behavior so I don't slide down the slippery slope of negativity.