HELLO IM BACK FROM MY BREAK ITS ONE OF ALICE’S ANONS (in all honesty i forgot which emoji i was) ANYWAYS
i would like to request
cocolia (hsr) x reader (obviously fem) <3 angst to smut :) i give u free reign <3
NO ONE WRITES FOR HER AND IT MAKES ME SAD i just finished the trailblazer mission, I MISS HER
Hello, welcome back anon! Good to see you again <3
You have no idea how much I relate with you; truth be told that her death and unplayability is one of the main reasons I'm not playing the game (others are I don't like turn based plus I have way too many gacha games in my mantel).
I had found out what happens in beta itself and decided to save myself the pain and suffering, it feels like they repeated Signora's case. Mihoyo has something against blonde ice mommies I'm sure. Your request came at a perfect time since I was really craving to write something on her!
(18+) CONTENT MINDORS DNI
Game: Honkai Star Rail
Characters: HSR Cocolia x fem! reader (trailblazer)
Type: Smut and Angst (comfort sex, fingering, oral, scissoring, kissing, Cocolia doesn't die because we protect fine women like her <3
W.C: Uh....very long. This is pretty much a rewrite of the mission, please bear with me :(
The moment you laid your eyes on her, you were mesmerised. She appeared like a goddess, a queen— so regal, commanding, beautiful yet harbouring something....cold deep within. The moment your eyes met her violet ones, you felt a connection, an unknown feeling awakened inside you.
"Welcome, visitors from beyond the Eternal Freeze, or perhaps I should say from beyond the sky. I'm Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian of Belobog. I would be grateful if you could tell me why you have come."
The enchanting woman in front of you spoke, her eyes gazing at you and your allies. You felt her look at you particularly, the same violet eyes staring deeply into you and making you entranced.
"Ahem, Y/n— answer her." March whispered to you, making you come back to your senses and blink a few times.
"Apologies, thank you for accepting us. It's surprising that you don't seem to doubt our identity."
"Hehe~ Do you want me to doubt it? Or are you not confident in it yourself? Rest assured, I don't doubt it. I can see you are not from this world and....for 700 hundred years, the Architects received no communication from the stars but I knew of your existence. Tell me why you have come."
Dan Heng took over from here and began explaining to her about the Stellaron and the Fragmentum Corrosion that plagued the planet, Cocolia listened intently and seemed slightly surprised that he summed up the planet's situation down to the exact details.
"I see....You understand our situation well but, I fail to understand why you would want to help us. Even if this Stellaron you speak of did bring about disaster, I fail to see its connection to you. I don't believe that anyone would go to such lengths to help a world unrelated to them....unless they had something to gain."
You then further explained to her and she eventually agreed to take your help, the negotiation went quite smoothly unlike your expectations but you were glad to see she seemingly trusted you.
"Very well, I'm willing to assist you in any way possible to locate the Stellaron. You must be tired now, I'll have you escorted to our most comfortable hotel to rest. Get a good night's sleep and we can discuss this matter in more detail tomorrow."
"Thank you for believing us, ma'am. We'd be glad to help restore the planet and help you live in prosperity like old times."
You spoke determinedly while looking at Cocolia, making her slightly surprised at your conviction. She gave a small smile and nodded then you turned around to go out with March and Dan Heng but suddenly heard an eerie whisper in your mind, making you stop and look back at Cocolia who was now looking out of the window and pondering.
"What was that? Why does it feel like there's someone with her, speaking to her....?"
You squinted your eyes then shook off the thought and walked out to meet up with Dan Heng and March. You were shown around the city by Gepard before finally being dropped at Goethe Hotel, you bid farewell to March and Dan Heng as they went to their respective rooms to sleep while you went to yours and rested on the bed, pondering about the day's happenings.
"It's been a long day. The Supreme Guardian was really something....so strong, commanding and....beautiful. Her voice was....really attractive too."
Your face turned redder as Cocolia continuously appeared in your mind; there was something about her that had captured your attention— the way she spoke, acted, smiled— everything was captivating you. You shook your head and turned over in bed, trying to keep your thoughts aside and sleep. You had barely closed your eyes when suddenly the same strange whispers echoed in your mind followed by a faint dream.
"Cocolia...Cocolia..." the whisper spoke.
"Wh-Who are you? What are you....?" Cocolia replied back.
"We are allies....allies of the guardians through generations."
"....What do you want?
"To rebuild....this dying world...To help you....achieve your wish."
You struggled around in bed and held onto a pillow, the dream becoming unbearable but it didn't stop yet.
"They will suffer, sacrifice and die because of my order...." Cocolia spoke.
"It is not death which greets them....They will be swept into the infancy of a new world." the whisper replied.
"What about the Underworlders? They will lose the protection of the Architects. They will see me....as a tyrant."
"You have witnessed....the world we have promised. A temporary misunderstanding....for an eternity of prosperity. We will honor....your decision."
"....I understand."
You immediately opened your eyes and sat up on the bed, gasping for breath loudly. You held your head and looked around to see it was still the middle of the night then thought back to what just happened.
"Those voices....Cocolia? And who? Who was she speaking to....? And why can I hear this....? Don't tell me....it was the Stellaron? It can't be....she didn't know what the Stellaron was. Unless....she was lying. Could the whisper I heard there be the same thing....? I need more clues....It seemed like she started talking to it at a young age, or more like it manipulated her from a young age...."
You looked at the time again then firmed your decision and stood up to walk out of the room, discreetly, without waking up March and Dan Heng. You navigated through the city to escape the gaze of the Silvermane Guards and reached the place where the Astral Express was parked.
"Himeko, Welt. I want to talk to both of you."
The two of them came out into the lounge area at your announcement, surprised to see you here all alone.
"Y/n? What happened? Why are you here alone?" Himeko questioned.
"I....I think I figured out something about the Stellaron on this planet. And I need your help, I didn't tell March and Dan Heng yet...."
"Fine, go ahead." Welt replied.
"We met the Supreme Guardian some hours ago and got her approval to let us remove the Stellaron. When I was there, I heard some....eerie whispers for a short moment and it also felt like there was someone else in the room with Cocolia but we couldn't see anything. Then later, when I tried to sleep....I had dreams. I'm not sure but it sounded like the Supreme Guardian was talking to a Stellaron."
Both Welt and Himeko were caught by surprise then pondered for a while before Himeko spoke, "Are you sure, Y/n? Did you also see something?"
"Yes, not very clearly but....it looked like her younger self, she seemed to be in pain and agony, trying to resist the voice but it kept showing her something that she couldn't refuse. It said something like....fulfilling her wish to save the planet by giving her a new world...."
"....I see. It's manipulating her by showing the world it'll make by destroying this current one, and little does she know that the Stellaron won't do anything it showed her....It's simply going to destroy everything and take over the world...." Welt spoke.
You nodded along and looked down in distress, trying to think what to do.
"I....I don't want anything bad to happen to her....Of course, I don't want the planet to suffer either but Cocolia herself too, she just wants to protect everyone and be a good Supreme Guardian and a mother...."
Himeko looked at you sympathetically then smiled softly and patted your head, "It seems we underestimated our newest member, Welt. She exceeded both Dan Heng and March already and is even showing considerable conviction~"
You blushed slightly at her compliment then Welt spoke, "So, do you have any suggestion, Y/n?"
"Uh....maybe we can try talking to her and persuading her before anything else happens. I think she started believing in the Stellaron because their own God didn't do anything for so long, the planet is still facing the Eternal Freeze and the Fragmentum Corrosion has even reached the city."
"Mhm, seems reasonable. Then Y/n, I assign you this mission— meet with the Supreme Guardian and persuade her will, with as little struggle as possible."
"W-Wait, me?! Just me?!" you exclaimed in shock.
"Yes, you. You have to do this, Y/n. You are the only the one who has seen and heard the dreams, you know it clearly unlike any of us. Not to mention, if she is already so persuaded by it then she'll likely show an aggressive nature when you reveal everything to her. If there are too many people then she might see it as an ambush."
"....Alright, I'll do my best."
You exited the train and made your way over the residence of the Supreme Guardian; naturally expecting to meet guards outside, you told them you wished to see Cocolia and they took her permission then escorted you to her chambers. Yes, it was her personal chamber and not the office you had been in earlier. You gently knocked on the door and heard a stern 'come in' then opened to go in and found Cocolia standing near the edge of the bed, wearing a sleeping gown and robe.
"My apologies for disturbing you at this hour, ma'am. I...wished to talk to you about something."
"Was it so important that you couldn't wait until our meeting tomorrow? And I see that your companions aren't here either...."
"Y-Yes, they don't know I'm here. I wanted to talk to you personally."
"Hm, interesting. And here I thought you all were faithful to each other but I suppose everyone has their secrets...."
"....Even you?"
You questioned in between making her slightly surprised then sigh and sit on the edge of the bed.
"If you wish to know, then yes, I do. I do have secrets of my own, some that even my daughter doesn't know."
"I have been wondering for some time, is Bronya your real daughter?"
"No, I adopted her some years ago. But I treat her no less than my own, she will eventually follow in my steps and take up this mantel."
"I see, that's a really kind gesture. To give a home to an orphan and groom her into such a capable adult."
Cocolia looked at you in surprise then smiled and stood up, "Forgive my manners, have a seat if you'd like. Shall I serve you something?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you."
"Hm. Well, was this what you wanted to talk about? My personal life?"
You struggled to answer her as you hadn't really thought out the conversation in advance, but you realized you had to be careful as you couldn't just spring up the question of her alliance with the Stellaron so casually.
"If you don't find it offensive then yes, I did wish to know more about you personally. I was just curious how your life has been, serving as the Supreme Guardian and before it."
"What an intriguing outlander. If I didn't treat you as the highest guest of honor then I would have thrown you into the prison by now."
"Ah....I understand that....I know it's late and we just met, I would offer to tell you about myself too but I unfortunately don't remember anything...."
"You don't remember anything? How very strange...."
You awkwardly looked away, finding it difficult to hold the conversation and move to the important topic.
"....You know, I did wonder about something when I saw you. Why are you with the Astral Express? Why become this....trailblazer?"
"Uh, well....for one, they were the ones who found me when I had just awoken with no memories. They took me in and I have been travelling with them since, Jarilo-VI is the first planet I have visited with them."
"Hm. So....they are like family to you."
"....In a way, I guess. At least they are willing to keep me and treat me well, doing these missions for them is a way of repayment. I somewhat relate with Bronya's situation here...."
"Ah, I suppose you could be seen as an orphan indeed, adopted by the crew."
"Yes and....I won't let any harm come to them, just like how Bronya would always protect you."
Cocolia's eyes widened at that and she looked away with a distressed expression, "I can't say for how long....If she disagrees with me some day then we'll be on opposite sides."
You sensed a weakness, an opening. You cautiously walked towards her and sat beside her on the bed, looking at her with sympathy.
"Is this part of your secret from her?"
Cocolia moved her gaze towards you to be met by a worried expression, catching her off guard. Suddenly, she turned away and you heard the same eerie whisper in your head. You looked at Cocolia and moved slightly closer and heard her mumble, "I know. Just....give me time."
She then turned towards you again and you quickly moved back, resuming your old posture.
"....It is part of it indeed, a secret so grave that she might not see me as her mother anymore."
"I see.....I hope that doesn't happen, the two of you are very affectionate with each other."
"Thank you for your kind words, I hope you can stay with the crew for as long as well."
You smiled then looked around the room slightly before continuing, "So, uhm, what did you do before becoming the Supreme Guardian? I feel like you took up the post at a young age."
"I did, I took up the post as soon as I graduated from my studies. I adopted Bronya just some time after it."
"Oh, so there is a school here."
"What? Did you expect we are so down in the drain that we can't even offer proper education to our citizens?"
"N-No! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!"
"Hmph, we have all facilities any normal functioning city would. We just have too much ice all around."
"....And the Fragmentum Corrosion."
"Yes, looks like you saw that it has made its way into the city."
"I did, that's why we need to remove the Stellaron as quickly as possible...."
You again heard whisper and saw her turn away from you; this time, you tried to focus what it was saying to her.
"You are....wasting time....Put her....away...."
"I know....I'm just looking for the right moment...."
"She will....create problems...."
"Ma'am? Are you okay?" you called out to her in the middle of the conversation and she turned towards you with a distressed look on her face, almost as if she was in constant pain.
"I'm fine. Is there more you want to talk about? Unlike you, I do need sleep to maintain my body."
"....What are these whispers that you hear?"
Cocolia was extremely shocked at your question and squinted her eyes into a glare, "What whispers are you talking about?"
"...The voice in your head, it's the Stellaron, isn't it?"
She glared even more and stood up, making you stand up as well and take a few steps away towards the door.
"Seems I underestimated you. You are much more perceptive than your companions."
"It has been talking to you since a young age, hasn't it?!"
"Silence! Do not question this further. Guards!"
She shouted and 2 Silvermane Guards immediately came inside the room with weapons.
"Put her in the prison, she is a traitor now!"
"Wait, listen to me! I know what it is and what you hear! It's controlling you! You are being brainwashed! Don't listen to it!"
You shouted as you fought with the guards, knocking them out one by one.
"The Stellaron won't save the planet! It only wants to destroy everything, it won't rebuild it the way it has shown you!"
"How dare you speak of the true God this way?! Our God has long abandoned us and this our only hope!"
"It isn't, it's going to destroy everything! Your home, your people, your daughter!"
Cocolia was suddenly taken aback and became silent before raising her arm and shouting, "I was going to wait until morning but....In the name of the Supreme Guardian, I hereby strip you of your freedom and beseech the highest degree of treason on you and your companions!"
You gritted your teeth and heard sound of fast approaching footsteps hence prepared to escape as quickly as possible.
"Please think about what I said. I promise to save you."
You ran out of the fort with hordes of guards behind you, you were soon surrounded by even more guards then heard Dan Heng and March coming towards you. They cleared a way for you and the three of you ran away together into the alley you had seen before.
"How did you both know where I was?!"
"We have been following you since you left the hotel." Dan Heng replied.
"That's right! Don't you dare abandon us and run away on your own like that ever again, Y/n!" March 7th followed in.
You eventually met up with Sampo again and followed him as he took you three away from the guards. Bronya had also caught up in the pursuit as you all reached the Underground and formed a temporary truce while looking for the Wildfire group. After you had left, Cocolia was in deep thought. The words you spoke resonated deeply with her and she pondered over her actions but the voice of the Stellaron soon plagued her again, sending her into the same torment she had been tolerating for years.
"Look what happened....she knew....It's your fault..."
"Shut up! She...she....she is right..."
"We showed you what we'll give you....you accepted it....You know the truth"
"When I finally had someone who understood me....you took them away...."
"Useless sentiments....it's your duty as the guardian to do this...."
Cocolia clenched her head then stood up, her resolution firm once again, "I know...it will all be over soon."
Upon making allies with the Wildfire group, you had been escorted to the Goethe Hotel in the Underground to rest. In the past few days, you had gathered a lot of information about the planet and Cocolia as a person. You talked to Bronya as she was the closest to her and found out more about her and how she had been ruling in recent times. All the things connected too well— she lost faith in the Preservation and started following the Stellaron as it promised a new world to her free from the disaster.
You were currently laying down on your bed at the hotel, thinking about your mission and about Cocolia. You did not want her to go down this path of ruin any longer, the times you heard her thoughts, you also sensed her pain and suffering. You could sense how much she had tried to resist it but she was only human, the continuous torment weighed on her too much. Just then, the whisper returned again and another dream flashed before you.
"I lost her....My wish, your so-called plan....What is the point of it all?" Cocolia barely spoke, her voice shaking from the constant despair she was facing.
"Your grief....sorrow....useless sentiments....abandon them all..."
"Silence! She is my daughter, my only....You soulless thing— how could you begin to fathom!? You will never understand....Never!"
"You did not lose her....She waits to be reunited with you on the other side."
"A new world...."
"Rise....guardian. Fulfill your destiny...Fulfill a mother's wish."
The voices finally stopped and you were on shaking by now, it felt too much to you. Her pain, sorrow, grief— everything was shared with you and made you scared, uncertain. How did she survive for so long with all that constant torment? How is she still carrying on her Guardian's Will? She was no frail woman but no ordinary human could tolerate such mental torture for so long.
"I need to do something quick. She's....dying, she's practically dying like this....Would she listen to Bronya? Maybe, I can try. They have ignored the Underworld for so long, now Bronya has seen it and she understands.....But, there needs to be something more concrete, she needs to be shown that the Amber Lord is still watching over them."
You had talked to Bronya soon after and explained her everything you had been experiencing, trying to make her understand how her mother had been suffering for such a long time all because she wanted to save the planet. Yet, your attempts had been in vain so far and here you were, at the battlefield of ice and snow, facing Cocolia in all her power.
You fought and struggled, trying to find a way to turn her over but her will was unshaken. The Stellaron gave her immense power, she awakened the Engine of Creation which created even more obstacles for you but you were determined. You were going to defeat the Stellaron and bring her back, there was no way you were going to leave her.
"If that thing is the Stellaron then....we need to weaken it to power her down." you thought while looking at the structure beside you that was radiating an eerie and powerful glow. You turned to face your comrades and called them near to explain your plan.
"Bronya, you said you heard the Stellaron there, right?" Bronya nodded. "Okay then, help me reach her up there and when I signal, all of you attack that structure with all your powers. You can't destroy it but we just need an opening for me."
Everyone was surprised at your proposition but agreed as they trusted your judgement, they readied themselves and assisted you as you navigated your way atop the Engine of Creation and be face to face with Cocolia again.
"You again....What a persistent little one you are."
"I promised to save you and make things right, I'm going to keep it!"
"Hmph, big words from a gullible Nameless! Only I understand that Stellaron is the true hope for this world, your name will be engraved on the foundation of the new world that the Stellaron has promised!"
She drew more of the Stellaron's power and transformed into a new form, complete with accessories made of ice and her body reflecting the galaxy. She summoned a lance and jumped at you, piercing you in the left side of your chest, very near to the heart. You gasped and were pushed back from the force but held yourself in place by holding onto the lance, she struggled and applied more force to thrust it deeper when you suddenly heard the whispers in your mind that were also in Cocolia's mind.
The whispers soon faded away and your mind went numb from the pain, you then found yourself in a place surrounded by nebulous stars, seemingly enveloped by an amber-colored destiny. A small child was in front of you who called itself the Guardian's Will, it spoke about the Supreme Guardian's duties and how it felt it had failed them since even the strongest minds could succumb to dark desires like this.
"We could not deny the will of the Stellaron after all...The Fragmentum had been expanding for the past 700 years. There is no faith nor wealth left for our successors...only despair. To see the home we vowed to preserved wither away....That in itself is torture. Not to mention the haunting whisper of temptation...." the child spoke.
"....Cocolia only did what she did to save the planet, your home. The Stellaron tormented her for awful long years, she has experienced so much pain and suffering all for the Will that she succeeded into. She felt she found a way, even if that way leads to destruction first but she saw paradise beyond it. That is why she succumbed, for her people, for humanity."
"....What are you implying, outsider? The day will come when even the strongest of wills cannot help but give in to such influence. It is only a matter of time before the Amber Lord forsakes us."
"I'm saying she needs to be guided again! She has a good heart and a strong will; she is a good mother and did her duties exceptionally all this time. You can't abandon her like this!"
"You wish to save her? You, a stranger, seek to bind your destiny to hers?"
"....I don't want to be a hero. I just want everyone to be well and happy, that includes her too."
"Hm, very well. Touch the light of the Amber, trailblazer. See if your will can attract their gaze."
You walked up to the shining fiery lance and proceeded to touch it, only to feel slightly burned by the intense heat. You remembered Cocolia's face and firmed yourself to be stronger, you were going to do this for her. You grasped the handle and pulled out the lance when you saw a faint imagery of a higher existence, the Amber Lord. At the same time, your consciousness was restored in your body and you found yourself at the same place like before.
You were tightly holding Cocolia's lance as it pierced you and she was unable to shake you off. You gasped and opened your eyes to look around then clenched her lance tighter, channeling fire through it which made Cocolia shocked and she tried to retract back but you reacted faster.
"Now! Everyone do it now!" you shouted as loudly as possible and at your command, everyone down below attacked the Stellaron with all their strength. Cocolia felt her power weaken for a few moments and held her head, that's when you established a connection with her and showed her what you had previously seen.
"Look, Cocolia! The Amber Lord! He's still there, the Will of the Preservation lives on! Don't listen to the Stellaron anymore!!"
Cocolia heard your words loud and clear, she found herself in the place you were at earlier and gazed at the Amber Lord for a brief moment. Her body trembled at its presence and she kneeled down in horror, trying to grasp the situation. However, this is as long as you had. The Stellaron repelled your allies and established its connection with Cocolia again, causing you to be pushed back with the lance still pierced in your body.
You both fell down to the platform below where everyone else was and pulled out the lance with all force you had and it soon turned into a weapon of fire; at the same time, Cocolia turned back to her normal form and was struggling very hard against the Stellaron's impending influence. Dan Heng and Bronya helped you stand up and watched as Cocolia struggled around, kneeling down and holding her head.
"Out of my way!" you shouted and ran up to Cocolia to hold her, the Stellaron was not letting her go and continued feeding its powers to her.
"The Fragmentum Corrosion will overwhelm her if this goes on!"
You thought hard and fast, time was running out. Cocolia now clenched her chest as a light started glowing around it and for the first time, she uttered her plea, her cry for help with a trembling and pained voice.
"H-H....Help....Please....I don't w-w....want to...."
You were caught by surprise then firmly held her shoulders and made your decision, this was the only way you could think of. You leaned forward and connected your lips to her, her body immediately stopping at the sudden contact. You heard gasps of surprise from behind you, not surprising but you had no time to care for them. You connected with the Stellaron that was powering her and channeled your own energy to overpower it.
"Get out! Leave her alone!"
The moment lasted for a short while, the Stellaron had left its control over her and you released the kiss. You opened your eyes and gazed into her teary yet gentle ones, clearly surprised by what you just did but she soon fainted in your arms before she could say anything. She clearly exhausted all her strength earlier but she was fine and breathing, that's all you cared about.
Your companions walked around you as you picked up Cocolia in your arms bridal style and stood up. March was blushing and covering her face in excitement, she was ready to burst out any moment. Dan Heng had his usual stern expression; Seele was grinning in a weird way while Bronya seemed embarrassment but was the first to clear her throat and speak.
"Ahem, thank you for your help, all of you....especially you, Y/n."
"N-No, it's okay....Happy to help...."
Bronya smiled, "We can keep mother at the residence then discuss what to do from now on."
You nodded then looked at Dan Heng, "We have to inform Welt and Himeko to deal with the Stellaron now."
"I know, I already did that. They'll be here soon. Now that the Stellaron is sealed, the Eternal Freeze will slowly recede. The Fragmentum won't aggressively expand anymore, but nor will it disappear. Jarilo-VI has a chance to return to life, but it will take time..."
You smiled then looked at Bronya and Seele, "I'm sure they'll handle it."
Exchanging nods of agreement, you proceeded to go to Qlipoth Fort to place Cocolia in her room and let her rest. The guards were ready to attack you but seeing you carry Cocolia that way made them retract back and wait for further orders. An eventful day finally came to an end, you went to the Underworld and explained the situation to them as discussed with Bronya until Cocolia awakens so you can further decide what to do.
It seems your expedition had come to an end, now it was in the hands of the people of Belobog to take it from here. You spent the day bidding farewell to all your companions before you finally returned to the Astral Express to continue your journey. You had wished to meet Cocolia one last time before leaving but it seems that was not quite possible, nobody knew when she would wake up and you were to leave as soon as possible.
It was the morning of next day, you woke up to find messages from Bronya telling you that Cocolia had woken up and was asking to see you. Surprised yet relieved, you informed Himeko and excused yourself to go to Qlipoth Fort since you had time, the train was scheduled to depart in the afternoon. You were escorted to Cocolia's chamber, the same one from earlier. You saw her sitting on the edge of the bed and stand up as soon you entered, the two of you looking at each other shyly.
"Uh...do sit down, Y/n. Would you like something to eat and drink?"
"Um, just a coffee is fine...."
Cocolia nodded with a smile and ordered her butler who soon served 2 cups of coffee to both of you. You sat upon the bed beside each other, finding it difficult to speak. All of a sudden, you felt nervous around her, you couldn't look her in the eye. You would feel your face heat up at her gaze and you'd stutter your words, almost appearing like a fool.
"....I heard everything from Bronya. And I do remember many things myself now that I have recovered sufficiently."
"I-I see...."
"It was all my fault....my weakness made everyone suffer so much...The people of the Underworld I neglected, my guards that I sacrificed with no remorse, the friendships I broke and....threatened my own daughter's life. I don't think I can ever forgive myself...."
You looked at her wide eyed then gently held her hand, causing her to face you. "Don't blame yourself this way, you only did what you felt was right for the planet, to save it. The Stellaron manipulated you, it's not your fault."
"....I couldn't resist it's influence. If I was strong enough and held on to the Preservation then none of this would have happened."
"Yet you tolerated the Stellaron's torment for so long, that's no ordinary feat. That shows how strong you are, for not breaking for so long. You have what it takes to bear the Guardian's Will, don't think you are undeserving."
"You...." Cocolia fumbled on her words, tears filling her eyes as she gazed at you and recalled all that you did.
"You had no reason to do all this yet you....went so far for me...."
"I...I didn't do much...."
"You did...You saved me and all of us....How can I ever repay you....?"
She came closer and cupped your face, gazing at you with love and causing you to blush.
"D-Don't worry about those things....I just wanted everyone to be well and happy, that's all. I don't want anything in return."
Tears rolled down her cheeks which she wiped away then moved her hands towards your chest, "I'm sorry for hurting you. Does it still pain? Did I leave a scar?"
You smiled then moved your shirt down slightly, exposing some of your chest to show her.
"See? Everything is fine. I don't know how but the lance didn't pierce my skin at all, or maybe it did but I healed and I didn't even realize it...."
You chuckled and she smiled in return looking at you, you had unintentionally come very close to her face. Your eyes trailed over her exquisite features, her captivating violet eyes, long lashes and rosy red lips. She too was gazing at you the same way, your lips enrapturing her as she remembered what you had done the day before.
"I-I'm sorry for....k-kissing you that way yesterday. I stepped into your personal space without permission, it's the only way I could think of to get the Stellaron away from you....."
You blurted out an apology as sincere as you could, you were still overwhelmed by her presence. She squinted her eyes then suddenly held your face firmly, looking at you with determination.
"Then, you have permission now. Do anything....even more than just a kiss."
"W-What—?!"
Your words were blocked as she crashed her lips against yours, engaging in a gentle yet passionate kiss. A softness enveloped your lips instantly, her lips moving with yours in perfect harmony, as if they were made for each other. You felt blissful, a strange yet addicting feeling engulfed you. She was slow and gentle, savoring the feeling and taste of your lips and you of hers.
Your hands settled on her waist and subconsciously pulled her closer, her body pressed against yours as she pushed you back by your shoulders, making you lean on your elbows. She was practically all over you, capturing you within herself in every way. She was already occupying your mind for days and at this moment, she had your body wrapped around herself as well.
"Aaah~ Mhmm....Y-Y/n~"
She muffled out moans of your name, her tongue swiped your lower lip and you naturally let her in, almost too eagerly in some way. The kiss became rougher as you continued, her tongue swirled with yours in exquisite rhythm. Your hands crawled around her back, sliding into the hip windows of her dress before she finally stopped and abruptly pulled away. Flushed, she straddled your waist and you quickly removed your hands from her body.
"I-I'm so-"
"Ssh~ Don't be, don't you dare be." she placed her finger on your lip, effectively stopping you from uttering the wrong phrase.
She took a moment to compose herself, breathing in and out a few times before shyly looking away.
"Are you sure you want to do this with someone like me....? Y-You know I'm not exactly considered young now, you might want someone your age. Not to mention, all the heinous things I did....I'm not really desirable."
"....I didn't think of those but....I could say the same things. You would be better with someone your age; I have no experience in this so I may not be able to satisfy you. I don't consider myself attractive either, nobody really compliments me for my looks—"
"That's not true! You are really adorable!"
Cocolia exclaimed and held your face, leaning down near you.
"I had found you cute the first time we met; I didn't express it but I really did think that."
Your eyes widened in surprise then you extended you hand towards her face, "What a coincidence. I had found you very beautiful at that time too, I didn't even think about your age. I was just...instantly captivated."
Her face flushed even more; you could look at this adorable expression all day.
"Does that mean you....liked me since then?"
"....I did. I didn't realize it back then but now I do. I really like you."
You spoke honestly, not wanting to hide your feelings any longer. You expected her to be surprised— which she was— but not for long. She instead smiled and gently pecked your lips, "....I like you too. And I want to show my gratitude for all that you did, will you let me?"
There was no need for that but you didn't deny her, you felt this was the only time you could be together like this. Nobody knew how long it would be when you'd return to this planet, and nobody knew how she would change in that time. You had yearned to hold her, feel her and if she was willing as well then there was no greater joy for you.
You both sat up and she proceeded to untie her hair, letting them freely flow before taking off your jacket and t-shirt. She caressed the same spot on your chest as before, possibly still feeling guilty about what she did. She then leaned in and placed soft kisses on the spot, feather like kisses that felt comforting and sent shivers in your body. She moved to your neck and planted more kisses, along with licking and biting at some spots.
"I'll give you a good time. Do tell me if there's something you don't like, I don't want to do something wrong that would....make you hate me." she whispered in your ear while kissing the lobe, her warm breath tickling you and making you squirm in place.
"D-Don't worry, I trust you....I won't hate you, ever."
She smiled in contentment then pushed you down before sliding off her down clothes, her ample breasts displayed in front of your eyes. She sensed your gaze was fixated on her chest, she then leaned down and laced your palms together, fingers interlocking while she initiated a passionate kiss. She seemed to be cautious, considerate that it was your first time. And possibly, she didn't want to hurt you in any form, you were the only one who still loved her this way.
Tears formed in her eyes as you kissed, she became uncontrollable now. She knew things would never be the same with her people, her daughter. She'd most likely be punished once she steps outside this room, and once everyone knew the truth then nobody would ever look up to her the same way again. She released your palms and instead held your face, her lips trembling but she didn't want to part from the kiss.
"I-I'm sorry....really sorry. And thank you....thank you very much...." she mumbled while ghosting over your lips, you felt disheartened and wrapped your arms around her to hold her close. She then started kissing you passionately again, roughly moving her lips with yours. The uncertainty and despair in her mind were reflected in her love, she was desperate and needy but also careful and gentle.
Before long, her hand slid down to your pants and slipped underneath, making you groan in surprise. She released the kiss to let you breathe, both of you panting while gazing at each other. She crawled down unbuttoned your pants and removed them, leaving you in just your underwear. Your face flushed as she stared at your naked self, but she gave an assuring smile before planting kisses on your stomach.
"You are really cute, Y/n. Your reactions are adorable and I want to see them more~"
You blushed even more and averted your gaze, too embarrassed by her words. She chuckled then gently moved your face up front again and pecking your lips.
"Don't be shy, let me look at you. I want to engrave all your expressions in my mind~"
You slowly nodded then she slid her hand under your panties, gently caressing your folds. Her face buried in your shoulder, lips right near the ear as she whispered sweet praises and encouragement while rubbing your clit. You shuddered; her fingers were slightly cold yet felt so good. Her sweet voice didn't stop mumbling at all, at some point you couldn't make out anymore what she was saying because your mind was hazy from the way her fingers moved.
She gathered your juices and thrusted in, delicately at first to let you get used to and find your sensitive spots. She kept note of your reactions profoundly, she wanted this to be perfect. The jerk of your legs and moans spilling from your lips whenever she touched that one spot gave her all the assurance, your breathing became ragged as she fastened her pace now. She inserted another finger seeing how wet you were and it gave her confidence, confidence that she was doing good.
You bit your lip as you tried to stifle your moans but she instead held it in her teeth to make you release, an indication that she wanted you to let it out as much as you wanted. The action sent you over the edge and she didn't miss that, your walls contracted on her fingers and she started thrusting faster now. Incoherent moans and gasps left your mouth and she relished those.
Cocolia was also strangely quite....motherly during the whole act. She was continuously praising you, encouraging you, telling you how adorable you were. You felt like being pampered, not that you were against it. Perhaps it was in her nature, intentionally or not. She kissed your cheeks before burying herself in your shoulder again, you clenched the bedsheet as you felt your high approaching soon.
"Cumming? Let it out, sweetheart~"
Adding that nickname was the last thing you needed, you had no restraint now. You arched back and released all over her fingers, your eyes shut tight and a loud moan echoing in the room. She smiled and gazed at your panting self before taking out her fingers, coated with your juices. What followed was something even more arousing to you— she licked all your juices from her fingers, not missing a single drop and cleaning it completely. You swear you almost came again watching that sight.
"How sweet....just like you~"
She slurred on her words; oh, how irresistible the sight was.
"Was it good? Something you didn't like or would prefer?" she questioned with sincerity. Even though it was clear how much you liked it, she wanted to be sure.
You smiled and nodded then sat up, she smiled back and was about to lean closer but you suddenly turned over and placed her on the bed instead, straddling her now. She was extremely surprised yet aroused, your eyes glinted with an insatiable desire while gazing at her. She felt like burning at your intense gaze, rubbing her legs together and face turning redder. She was likely not expecting this from you but she couldn't be more ready.
"You said you wanted to show your gratitude through this. Then....I want to show my love, and the fact that I will always support you and be there for you. I know you are feeling very distressed over what happened, you are blaming yourself too much for it all. I-I know it may seem like empty words considering I won't be here but—"
Cocolia quickly pulled you down and crashed your lips onto hers, preventing you from speaking further.
"Don't say more, don't...." you smiled then she pulled you down and hugged you, your head enveloped between her boobs while she caressed your hair.
You blushed and moved your hands to cup her breasts and knead them, soft gasps leaving her mouth. You attached your mouth to her nipple and flicked your tongue, her chest instantly heaving and back arching as she gasped out. You swirled your tongue around the hardened bud while pinching the other one, she was holding you close the whole time, almost hugging you like a baby.
You sucked on her nipple then released it with a pop, continuing to plant kisses down her stomach until you reached her core. You spread her legs making her shiver in anticipation, she was already so wet, clearly inviting you. Her scent engulfed your senses, you pecked her clit and she instantly cried out then attempted to close her legs but you held them open. You then smirked and wrapped your lips around the sensitive clit, licking long strips over it before sucking.
Her head flew back and fingers intertwined in your hair, her hips jerked up and she moaned out loudly. "Aaah~ Y-Y/n.....More....Hahn!~"
You complied and sucked on her clit harder before licking her walls and inserting your tongue inside, your thumb was playing with her bud while you scissored your tongue inside her spongy hot walls. Juices flowed down as her grip in your hair tightened, you could feel her move her hips on her own as your tongue thrusted in and out.
Cocolia cried out and moaned feverishly, messy whines accompanied by incoherent words filled the room. Her thighs enclosed around your face giving you the chance to raise her body up and go deeper with your tongue, that had her undone soon enough. She pulled you closer in and you religiously ate her out, taking a moment to look at her face which was drowned in pleasure and laced with sweat.
"Y/n! Cumming!~ I'm cumming! Aaaaaahn!~"
She released her sweet and addicting juices over your tongue and you delightedly drank them, savoring the taste. You put her legs down and gazed at her panting self, she smiled and extended her arms for you to come in and hug her, wrapping her whole body around you and holding you contently.
"You said it's your first time but that was really good, didn't seem like you were inexperienced at all." she mused, kissing your forehead.
"Really? I'm glad then."
You raised yourself up and gently kissed her lips, gazing at each other for a while before you crawled back again and settled yourself between her legs. She was confused for a moment but soon understood what you were doing as you intertwined your legs with hers, making a scissor formatting. She flushed with excitement and embarrassment, she didn't expect this from you but she would be lying if she said she didn't want this.
You came closer and slowly rubbed your clits together, an electrical feeling going through both of you. She watched you from beneath as you groaned and whined, picking up the pace and finding the right rhythm. You too watched her from above, her boobs jiggling with your thrusts and her eyes glimmering dark with hunger.
You planted your hands beside her and leaned down more before vigorously rubbing against her. You moaned in unison, your clits rolling with ease due to your juices coating one another. Her own hips began rolling upwards while her hands wrapped around your back and clenched your skin, nails digging in and leaving marks.
"Mhmmm~ Faster Y/n! M-More!~"
She shamelessly whined, her clit is hard and throbbing, wet with arousal. You could see her body tremble and how she wriggled with the tension building in her stomach. She looked like an absolute goddess, a queen, so needy for you. Her head flew back and she wailed in pleasure before biting on your shoulder to stifle her moans, you hissed as you felt her teeth sink in and suck on your skin. You were sure a bright mark would be left, not that you minded it. If anything, you wanted her to leave more such marks.
You rutted your hips faster and so did she, your cunts were wet and messy with each other's juices, she squealed and jerked up as she came all over your cunt. You wanted to continue more and take in more of her heavenly expressions but you soon approached your own release as well and came over her. Both of you crying out in pleasure together then you fell atop her and she lovingly held you close, planting soft and sweet kisses on your shoulder and face.
Sometime later, you were lying down beside each other under the sheets. Your face was nestled comfortably on her chest while she ran her fingers through your hair and hummed softly. Both of you felt at peace and were comfortable, your arm wrapped over her waist and she occasionally planted kisses on your head.
"Y/n, I wanted to tell you something."
"Yes?"
"I....I have decided to give up the position of Supreme Guardian."
You were taken by surprise and looked up at her, "Why? Are you still—"
"No, that's not it. I feel it's the right time. It's true what I did is also weighing on me and the judgement panel will likely strip it off me anyways but....I do feel I should give it now. Bronya is more than capable, she has even seen how the Underworld is and I trust in her to make Belobog prosperous again. I don't want to hide the truth of what happened, it's okay if the people end up hating me. It's their right and I deserve it. I will accept whatever punishment is bestowed upon me and wish Belobog a happy future with their new leader."
"Cocolia....are you sure?"
"I am, and you gave me the courage for it. I'm okay with this...."
You slowly nodded as you knew she has made this decision with all her heart and there likely is no other way. You thought for a moment then an idea came to you which you weren't sure of saying but firmed yourself.
"Then, I have a suggestion."
"Hm? What is it?"
"Come with me, aboard the Astral Express. Become one of us, we'll travel together and stay with each other. I'm sure the crew will listen if I insist and I know they don't hate you, they will accept you."
Her eyes widened in shock and she wasn't sure of what to say, "Y/n....I appreciate your offer but....I can't leave Bronya alone. I can't make her bear the responsibility and just leave without offering any aid...."
"You can. You just said she's more than capable. And she has many people by her side, there's Seele, Serval, Gepard, all the people of the Underworld— I know she will be able to handle."
Cocolia thought for some time then nodded, "Alright, I'll see what I can do after the judgement. Will you wait for me until then?"
You smiled, "Of course, I will. I have anyways delayed our time of departure so might as well stay a bit more~"
"Did you not inform them?"
"I did— but I didn't foresee doing this before coming here, you know?~"
You teased making her giggle and peck your lips before holding you closely again. Time came to pass and you were back at the Express and explained the situation to everyone. Welt scolded you for leaving like that without any information while Himeko calmed the situation and accepted your request. More time passed and you heard the door of the train open, a visitor coming in.
You went to check in the lobby and found none other than Cocolia standing there with a bag in her hand, she smiled looking at you then spoke.
"May I come aboard the Astral Express and travel with everyone?"
She said intently and you smiled widely then lunged into her arms, tightly hugging her with happiness.
"I wish to stay with you from now on, Y/n...." she whispered while hugging you and you happily nodded. No matter where the journey was going to go from here, you were glad to have the woman you love beside you during it.
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AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL EVER SEE YOU AGAIN !!
— saying goodbye to those certain people at school/college that you’ll probably never see again </3 (yes i wrote this because i finished college and this is how i felt about leaving some people and i’m sensitive)
content : gender neutral reader, i dont think this is angst so i have no idea what it is, its : :((, thats the genre y'all, me using a couple personal experiences to add in some accuracy
characters : mikey, kazutora, senju
notes : hey guys !! i finally finished my exams and college meaning i’m now on summer break and i finally have time to write ! thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this academic year esp since i was struggling a lot </3 i luv all of y’all so so so much and i hope y’all enjoy this EVEN THOUGH IM LOWKEY RUSTY ASF RN JUST TRUST THE PROCESS Y’ALL MY WRITING MAGIC WILL COME BACK SOON </3
˗ˏˋ MIKEY
- mikey is thee iconic class crush that everyone has (unless you’re not into mikey then that’s too bad you gotta change the character i’m sorry 😔)
- the type of person you’re friends with and is in all your classes, but you get a little rush of excitement when you see them
- the type of person you talk to like you’ve known them for years face to face, but wouldn’t dare ask to meet up with you and you can’t message them for shit because you think too much about your responses
- the type of person who somehow makes your ears burn but you can’t put your finger on why or how they do that
- you and mikey were always class friends - even teachers knew you guys as class friends and would hate when you sat with each other, knowing very well no work would get done
- he would always find a way to talk to you when you walked past him, to make a joke to you, possibly bully you a little (all with a kind heart and no malice of course) - and you always found a way to do it back which he loved <3
- you cherished him as a friend for some reason - out of all your class friends (not including closer friends that is) he felt special to you, and you could never and will never know why
- and so when the end of your time at school/college was getting closer you started to cherish your little interactions with him and got more and more excited to see him everyday :( - the way you guys interacted never changed, you just held it closer to you and appreciated it more
- on your last day you didn’t see him until the end of the day - he probably didn’t bother coming in early since it was the last day and he’s lazy 😒
- he approached you quickly with a little spring in his step, smiling widely at you like he always did (he was always happy to see you, you just never really realised) — you were very much prepared for a usual interaction; a little small talk, a clever joke of his, a laugh, and departure
- oh. a hug 🎉 — you literally could’ve cried. and don’t say no. yes you could’ve okay.
- “don’t get soppy on me now, y/n, hm? it’s not the end of the world, is it?” — TO YOU ☹️
- even though you wished he did, he didn’t spend any extra time with you, simply walking away with a goodbye and back to his friends — however he did message you when he got home <3
hey i just wanted to say i enjoyed being friends this year :)
in case i never see you again remember me by this <3
i’ll miss you, make sure you look after yourself !
- it was a video of a cat eating dorayaki and purring ?? makes sense 🫶 - although you were more surprised at the concept of a cat actually eating something like that
- though you appreciated and loved his messages, and responded with the same amount of appreciation, you kinda wish he hadn’t messaged you with his own little goodbye — although it wasn’t like losing a lifelong best friend it still left a little hole in the pit of your stomach, knowing you’d miss him, knowing you’d still talk about him with your friends sometimes
- probably wondering if he actually liked you as much as you liked him, wondering if you were simply just a person in his class or more of a friend ?
- you hope one day he’ll ask you to meet up and your friendship can be strengthened in the future but its unlikely to happen :/ - mainly because you’re probably not about to make the first move YEAH
˗ˏˋ KAZUTORA
- in your final year of school/college you ended up being together for a class - you could say he was kinda like your study buddy in the end 🤷♀️
-one day he saw you in the library and he asked if you could help him study for the upcoming test since he was struggling with the topic and he wanted to do well this time — lets be real, we all know kazutora would not take classes seriously 😭
- eventually it became a common thing for the both of you to do; meet in the library and go over the things he wanted to do (and it was convenient for you because it meant you could also simultaneously go over the difficult things too 🫶)
- you guys had a spot mikey called the ‘secret spot’ because it was hidden at the back behind a couple bookshelves — despite always being late to classes he was usually on time to your meet-ups
- he always greeted you by saying “hey, teach!” with only a pen and a scrap piece of paper
- as much as you liked seeing kazutora and becoming friends with him, studying with him was very hard sometimes — you could tell he was trying hard but he would kinda just stare and nod his head rather than listen because he would zone out
- once you guys finished studying, he’d simply ask you when you were able to meet next and would say his goodbye’s and thank you’s — sometimes you wanted to ask if he felt like meeting up outside of college or at least studying at your house since you guys got on so well, but you never did
- and he would make out of pocket jokes (they made you giggle but he doesn’t have to know that) — “is there anythin’ else i can do to get an A, professor? 🥺” boy 🤨
- you guys never ate lunch together or spoke to each other outside of lessons - it was almost like as soon as you guys left the classroom or library you didn’t know each other :(
- you had his socials and sometimes you’d receive messages at 12am about a theory he couldn’t understand 😭 — they always made you smile though and sometimes you guys even had little convos (mostly small talk though ugh)
- once you guys face timed 😟 — he thought you looked so pretty under the light of your desk lap and it made him kinda nervy so he was quieter than usual </3
- when exam season came around y’all were stressing over exams together like. the poor boy was SCARED — however, before each exam he would always come up to you when you were with your friends to ask how you were <3
- “i don’t know why you’re stressed, you’re the teacher here, sweets.”
- although you were excited for all the exams and college/school to end, you were also kinda dreading it — you knew the fact that you and kazutora wouldn’t have another study session again left a little ache in your chest
- when the final day arrived you thought he’d neglected to show up since you hadn’t seen him all day :((
- when the exam finished, however, he showed up out of nowhere asking how it went :0 - you guys had a long talk about the exam and how you guys hated whichever questions
- “well, i gotta get going now, my friend is giving me a ride home and i don’t wanna make him wait too much, i’m really sorry!” oh ☹️
- there it was. the feeling that came over you told you you’d probably never see him again, possibly never speak to him again except for some small talk at 11pm when he saw a funny post and decided to send it to you. the knowledge that you were losing a friend that you’d cherished your limited time with over the stressful year </3
- “yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry about it!” idiot.
- “i’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
- you just nodded, despite there no longer being a tomorrow :(
- BOOOOOOOO
˗ˏˋ SENJU
- she was your friend in all of your classes <3
- literally since the first day of school/college she decided that you guys were gonna be friends
- every time you come into a lesson she’s always sat in the seat next to yours, and if she’s late she always looks for you with a bright smile on her face — even if other people changed seats in the class, you guys always stayed in the exact same seats next to each other
- “do you wanna do it together?” — y’all always worked on projects or class work together, especially presentations since senju said it just turned out better if you guys did it together
- y’all would also always panic together over presenting posters or presentations to the class and then talk about how good you did afterwards
- you guys always laughed together in classes and giggled at dumb jokes </3
- she would always make you walk with her to exams too — it’s not like she was ever panicking or worried, she just wanted to walk with you into the exam and talk about it after
- and once she bought you candy for your birthday even though you don’t remember telling her your birthday 😭 - “i got you these, i don’t know if you like them but you can try them!” me personally i’d cry
- also !! you guys would also talk outside of classes yay !! — on messages that is
- often she would message you about work, whether that was asking when homework was due in etc etc — but you guys would also message each other if you found out any gossip about people in your classes 😭😭😭
senju : babe, y’know that girl we were talking about the other day?? i found her boyfriend on tinder 😟
you : there’s no way… they’ve literally been dating for almost a year, his account should be deleted by now ?!
senju : wait what ?! how did you find out it’s been that long ☠️
you : oh i looked on her instagram yesterday lmao
- but 😁
- you guys just… didn’t talk to each other outside of class in person ??
- as soon as the class was over y’all didn’t really talk to each other, you never ate lunch together, you never studied together etc — you guys also never made plans or spoke to each other over summer breaks ?
- like y’all basically didn’t speak to each other for three months but when you came back after it was like no time had passed
- when the day of your final exam came around you guys walked to the room as usual, talking about what you did or didn’t want to come up
- before she went into the room she hugged you. you guys never hug. — “you’ll be fine, babe, you got this.” sobbing.
- when you came out of the exam she was gone as usual — it was rare for you guys to wait for each other at the end of lessons or exams anyways
- but that time you felt a little wave of sadness wash over you, perhaps a little ache in your chest as you realised that was probably the last time you’d ever walk down a corridor with her, to stress over something together, hear her little pep talks before doing exams, to do anything with her
- you took her hug as a goodbye </3 (for a while it seemed to leave a little hollow feeling in your chest when you thought of her) though it didn’t feel complete without hearing her say it
- sobbing tbh
reblogs appreciated <3
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