#unless im there as a consultant

[realsafari]

i think ive run out of catboy references for this week and its only tuesday

damn.

[dinopant]

whoever decided that planned parenthood is closed on wensday, the one day i have off this week, blow up

[elytrafemme]

okay so my plans tomorrow are to hang out with my girlfriend and other friend at a cafe at an unspecified time in the afternoon. i also have therapy and all my week’s homework to do tomorrow also. everyone manifest that i am normal tomorrow okay thanks love you

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x reader

[ Chapter 2 ] || [ Chapter 4 ]

Pairing: Ghost x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1K~ cw: some sexual jokes/innuendos Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?

Chapter 3: Simon

After doing the dishes, you moved yourself over to the living room and turned on the TV. Some rerun of an older season of Law and Order was playing.

You started watching but you found your eyes drifting back to your phone… 

Against your better judgement, you clicked on the Tinder app icon again. Maybe, maybe you should swipe just a little more.

And so you did. 

Today you said ‘Fuck you, Beyoncé’ and always went to the Right, to the Right. 

Just as you were pondering another profile, the screen darkened with a ‘It’s a Match!’ notification, making you jump a bit, as usual.

You clicked the profile and your brow scrunched. 

You didn’t remember liking this one… Though you obviously did, after all, you were liking everyone.

The only picture wasn’t even anything. It was dark and grainy and the man was wearing a black disposable face mask. If that even was him. Could just be a random picture off-Google, picked by someone who wanted to be anonymous. Not quite a catfish but close enough…

“Simon.” You said softly and dragged your finger through the screen to read his bio. For a moment you couldn’t help but smirk a little. He was sarcastic, a bit strange, but charismatic in his own way.

“Bad jokes, Bourbon, Discreet…” You mused while scanning his profile. “Tall enough.” You read aloud and couldn’t help but laugh at it. That made you feel like he was short.

Against your better judgement for the second time, you decided to send him a DM instead of waiting for him to. Something told you he wouldn’t.

you: tall enough - does that mean you’re below 6ft?

Simon: No.

Simon: Means that I have inches to spare.

you: was that a dick joke?

Simon: No.

Simon: Unless you wanted it to be.

You snorted softly under your breath. Of course he was a smart ass too…

you: ambiguous, i like it.

you: so how tall are you then?

Simon: Does it matter?

you: no. just curious.

Simon: 6ft4.

you: that feels like a lie.

Simon: I avoided putting it for a reason.

you: worried people would call you a liar?

Simon: No use. Going to be called it regardless.

you: that’s fair ig.

you: what’s a traveling consultant?

Simon: Similar to a contractor. Get brought in to help businesses all over the world.

you: what kind of businesses?

Simon: That’s need-to-know.

you: you type so formally and professionally jeez.

you: will i ever get to know?

Simon: Force of habit. Don’t text a lot.

Simon: Not if I can help it.

you: somehow i can tell.

you: what are you doing here then?

Simon: Curiosity mostly.

you: trying to see if you attract any fish? 👀

Simon: Something like that. A friend is on here. Wanted to see what all the fuss is about.

you: i see.

you: got anything yet?

Simon: No. But only created this 12 minutes ago.

you: am i your first then?

Simon: Not my first in anything, love.

Your eyes widened a bit and for some reason you found yourself getting a bit flustered, your face warming up just a bit.

you: does that mean you’ve hooked up with people through a dating app before?

Simon: Something of the sorts.

you: aw, im really not going to be your first.

Simon: That’s alright. You can come see me either way.

Simon: I’m sure you’ll find some other thing to be the first at.

Your breath got caught in your throat and you started sputtering. That came out of left field! He had gone from professional and mild-mannered to… flirty so quickly! Gulping, you tried to answer him with something coherent and funny.

you: idk what if you murder me?

Simon: I promise I won’t.

you: is that meant to be enough to convince me? 🤨

Simon: I’ll leave all my guns at home.

you: the fact you have more than one is not reassuring the way you think it is.

Simon: If it makes it any better, I wouldn’t need a gun to kill you.

Even though you don’t know this man, you can imagine that he’s laughing to himself behind his phone screen, all smug, thinking he’s funny. And, the worst part, is that he is.

you: reassuring. thanks.

Simon: Glad to be of service.

you: i think what makes it worse is that uve not got a pic of ur face.

Simon: Wouldn’t hook up with a bloke with his face covered?

you: no? are u trying to get me axe murdered? bc thats how u get axe murdered simon

Simon: LOL.

Simon: No.

you: u sure? a masked face with a mysterious job and a suspicious amount of guns… sounds like the upgraded version of ghostface… except online rather than over the phone.

Simon: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Simon: You’re funny. 

Simon: I like that.

you: thanks. 

Simon: Wondering if you’re that funny in real life or if you’d get all shy on me.

you: probably a mix of both.

Simon: How about we confirm that then? 

Simon: Meet up with me for drinks. No pressure on time or place. You can even postpone if it comes down to it. My job is unpredictable enough so I might have to postpone too.

Your eyes widened. The first attempt at flirting from him, of inviting you for a shag, had been clearly sarcastic… But this one is genuine.

you: ill get back to u on that, is that okay?

Simon: No sweat.

Simon: And if you’re just being polite and not actually going to text me again then: This was fun. Enjoyed myself. Take care.

You bit your lip to suppress a smile when you saw his polite goodbye. He was… sweet, weirdly enough.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthoney , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe

[i23kazu]

GENSHIN MEN AND THEIR REACTIONS TO YOU BARKING AT THEM .

characters. xiao zhongli kaeya diluc childe alhaitham kaveh x reader genre. romantic fluff, suggestiveness on kaeya's part an. please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

he's so confused. wonders if you got cursed and became a dog. please assure him that you are not a dog and instead thought it was funny, because he will think that you got cursed and will consult those with medical powers. xiao just kind of goes ....okay. then presses a kiss to your head and walks away

zhongli

goes ??? and thinks that its a prank. will hesitantly bark back and tbh zhongli doesn't know what to do. he just kind of awkwardly laughs and asks what reaction you wanted when you pout at the lack of it. please explain to him why the joke is funny even if it makes it un-funny

kaeya

barks back without hesitation, and.. mimics pulling on a collar. dirty, dirty boyfriend. of course you start blushing right away, who wouldn't? now it's kaeya's turn to enjoy your reactions, heh. challenge him? pepper his face with kisses, wrap your arms around him.

diluc

actually starts blushing. his face turns redder with his hair and he tells you to shut up because it's a joke that wasn't funny. in reality, he just doesn't know what to feel about it. do it to him enough times and he might actually bark back... keep waiting, my friend.

childe

barks back immediately then leans in for headpats. there's a slight blush on his face as you smooth his hair back and kiss his forehead, but understandably so. he is sooooo smitten right now… it’s undeniable. headpats become a regular thing in your household.

alhaitham

confused, doesn’t bark back unless you whine at him to. he’s quite confused by this turn of events… what did you even want him to do? “al-haitham! just bark back!” you whine, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. “…woof?” you facepalm. how is the scribe of sumeru akademiya so smart yet so dumb?

kaveh

kaveh just turns it into a barking competition. who can bark louder, bark faster, bark more like a dog — you name it. it’s literally the scene from annie get your gun. eventually the both of you collapse in a fit of giggles. pepper his face with kisses until he's giggling all over, please!

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @his-kikufuku @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiy @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @lemonswriting @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @yzeniko @starz222 (send ask to be added to taglist)

special tags: @intothegenshinworld @ineshapanda @futuristic-tsuki

[dckweed]

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

okay don't ask how i got this out so fast, im literally so fuckin obsesessed with this series right now.

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART THREE: the weekend

thursday.

“What in the hell did you put me up to?” Gator’s voice rings out across the barn a couple of hours later. You wince, hearing the anger swirling under the tense tone as his footsteps thunk closer to you across the wooden floor. You’re still facing Bubbles, trying to get her untacked but it’s not easy when you don’t have a step ladder, you didn’t check if there was one in the trailer when you left and you didn’t feel right going snooping around the Tillman barn, afraid it might get you in trouble. 

“It’s just a few days,” You roll your eyes, grateful that he can’t see you because something tells you that the Tillman didn’t take kindly to bratty behavior like eye rolling. Not married yet or not, you were pretty much belonged to Gator now in the eyes of society in Stark County, nobody would bat an eye if he reprimanded you for it. “And i put us up to it, genius.” 

“Well gee, Pearl, you could have fuckin’ consulted me first, dontcha think?” He’s right next you in the stall now, his much larger hands moving yours out of the way as he could actually see over the top of your horse to undo all of her stuff. “Why the hell would i want to spend my weekend babysitting my sisters?” 

You scoff, turning to face him with your hands on your hips. You roll your eyes again and you know he sees you as his eyes narrow. “Ya know what asshole, you’re fuckin’ right!” You say, not going to put up with any of his damn attitude. “I shoulda slid right off my horse, left your daddy right out there in the field and come find you just to ask if it was okay.” He opens his mouth to retaliate, or maybe to tell you off for cursing at him or getting cross with him. “I may be younger than you but i’m still an adult, Gator, i’m gonna be your wife not your fuckin’ kid, don’t ever expect me to wait and ask your fuckin’ permission to do shit unless it’s necessary. That isn’t how this is goin’ to work.” 

He doesn’t say anything but pulls the saddle off of the horse with a huff and you turn on your heel, leading her out of the stall and out to the trailer. Gator stands in the stall for a moment after you’ve gone, listening to the clip clop of the horses hooves as you guys go. He closes his eyes for a second, readjusting the weight of your heavy ass saddle before guiltily following you along. You weren’t wrong, he was being an asshole. He hated being wrong, and he hated apologizing even more but he couldn’t let you go around stomping your feet and being mad at him all damn weekend, something told him that probably wasn’t in his best interest. And besides, he did actually feel bad for snapping at you like that, you didn’t deserve it. He did like seeing you get all riled up like that though, the storm that started brewing in your eyes..it was a nice change from your normally friendly and people pleasing personality. He liked that you obviously knew how to stand up for yourself too.  

The door of the trailer was open by the time he had finally meandered his way out of the barn, and he can hear you getting the horse settled into it. He makes quick work of putting the saddle into the back of your Jeep, closing the door and making his way to the trailer. He watches you, one arm braced against the metal door as his eyes follow your movements. You pat your horse on her long nose and then turn around, hands on your hips as you step down onto the ground of the driveway. 

You’re staring up at him expectantly, chewing your plump bottom lip with your hands on your hips. It took all the will power he never knew he had not to put his thumb on your fucking mouth, stopping you from what you surely couldn’t have realized was a surprisingly sinful act. He licks his chapped lips, looking off to the side before sighing. “I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole.” He says quietly, brown eyes searching your face for any sort of reaction. “I shouldn’t have snapped at ya like that..” 

Your face softens and something close to a smile graces the corners of your mouth as you push his chest lightly, your hands no longer defensively on your hips. “Apology accepted.” You say, meaning it. You had forgiven him the moment you had snapped at him too, you knew he was just as new to this whole situation as you were, you guys were still learning one another, that wasn’t any excuse to be yelling at each other but it was a reason to never let it happen again without at least trying to talk first. “But i’m not sorry for snappin’ back at you. You deserved it.” 

He laughs, a genuine, hearty sound coming from his throat and brings a hand up to muss your hair as he helps you close up and lock the trailer. “Alright..suppose we better go get that lunch you were talkin’ about earlier and then go pack up your stuff for the weekend.” The sun was fully up now, and even though it was only nine thirty in the morning, and he had all of an hour and a half of sleep under his belt, he was ready for lunch with you, and he was ready to get his dad and his wife out of the fuckin’ house so he could maybe relax just a little bit, maybe get a few more hours of sleep..

After a small squabble about who’s going to drive the Jeep you’re pulling up to the curb of Gator’s favorite diner in town, and he’s letting out a breath of relieved air as he steps foot on the ground. 

“Oh stop bein’ so dramatic!” You laugh walking side by side with him up to the door of the busy diner. He had spent the whole ten minute drive with one hand braced on the back of your seat and the other braced on the dash, telling you to slow down or to not hit your brakes so damn hard or to stop taking corners so fast and sharp with a damn horse trailer attached to you. You rolled your eyes after every comment, but found them more and more endearing as you heard the actual fear in his voice. That wasn’t the first time a boy had been scared to be in your passenger seat before. 

“Stop bein’ such a bad fuckin’ driver!” He retaliates, brown eyes wide as he holds open the door of the diner for you, you cackle and duck under his arm, breathing in his cologne and the smell of that damn fruity ass vape that he keeps puffing on. “You’re a menace to the road, Pearl, i swear!” 

He hears you mocking him and pushes the back of your head gently as the two of you find an empty space in the busy restaurant, a booth in the back corner next to windows where the light shines in. He insists on taking the side of the booth that faces the rest of the diner, wanting to have a good view of any potential danger (though he doesn't tell you that). 

A friendly waitress sidles up to the table as the two of you settle, you giggling after he mutters something more about your driving. “Mornin’ Gator, miss.” She says, nodding at the two of you. She’s plump and motherly, her hair brown and curly. You can tell from the smile on her face that she clearly knows the boy across the table from you. “Coffee for you, hon?” 

“Yes Ma’am,” Gator nods, one of the friendliest looks you’d seen in your whole short time of knowing him on his face as he looked up at her, his brown eyes filled with warmth you hadn’t seen towards anyone before. “And..i’m feeling lunchy today, how about a patty melt and fries, please?” You realized he must come here pretty often if the waitress knew his coffee order, and he didn’t need a menu to order. 

“You got it Gator,” She says warmly, turning to you next. “And for your..friend?” 

“Fiance, actually.” He says before you have the chance to speak, you’re stunned for a moment and so is the woman. This is the first time anyone outside of your families and the people directly involved with the wedding planning had been told that you guys were technically engaged, your face flushes as the realization and the weight of the title actually being out in the open for the first time. 

You can tell that she wants to ask more questions by the furrow in her brow and the hesitation before she clears her throat, but she thankfully doesn’t pry any farther. “And for your fiance?” 

You give a sheepish smile, that quickly turns to a deep rooted frown when the friendly woman tells you that they don’t stock flavored coffee creamers, or serve iced coffee. “Dr. Pepper then,” You say, the smile returning back to your face as Gator makes a mental note to stop by the local coffee shop for you on the way back to the Augastine ranch. “And I’ll do chicken tenders, with fries please!” 

She gives a smile and says she’ll be back soon, as soon as she gone Gator cracks up laughing at you. “What?” You pout, and he only shakes his head at you, causing your pout to deepen. “It’s not nice to laugh at people, is there dirt on my face? Gator!” The way you whined his name struck a different kind of chord in him and he quickly stopped laughing, shaking his head as he situated himself in his seat. 

He knew most men would have found the whining annoying but it was clear you didn’t do it on purpose, and it sent a tingle down his spine when you said his name like that. “Flavored coffee creamer?” You roll your eyes and kick him under the table, which only makes him laugh more. 

You had to admit, you liked how young and happy it made his face look when he laughed, and you wished he would do more of it. 

A couple of hours tick by as the two of you sit in your cozy little booth in the diner, eating and bickering and laughing at each other as customers come and go around you. He was sweet in his own rugged, rough way, your own personal diamond in the rough. You didn’t mind, it just meant you could have fun chipping away at him and softening him up around the edges. The more you got to know him over the past week, the more you started to think that maybe this marriage thing wouldn’t be so horrible. You could both learn to love each other over the years, and who knows, maybe you would fall in love in the way that all those people in the movies did. You had always wanted a silver screen romance..

Gator pays for the both of you before you can even dig your credit card out of your stupid little purse, which causes you to pout. “Hey, I was the one that asked you to come eat!” You argued and boy just sighs, giving you a pointed look that clearly said to shut the fuck up. You pout but don’t push on the matter, letting him steal the Jeep keys off of the table top as you slide off of your fluffy, overstuffed bench. 

“Alright, lets go pick up your stuff for the weekend and drop your trailer off,” He had work tonight again and he was hoping to get a couple extra hours of sleep in before his father left. The nights were always longer when he was tired, but he wasn’t going to complain. Gator loved his job. 

You follow him through the crowded diner, staying right underfoot. You hadn’t realized before but people were staring at the two of you, it made your cheeks flush when eyes bored into you as you walked and nervously, you grab onto the back of his shirt. He stiffens beneath your touch, and cranes his neck to look at you, eyebrows furrowed under the brim of his hat. “People are staring.” You whisper, he purses his lips and looks around before shrugging as you get closer to the door. “Why are they staring?” You weren’t used to attention like that, and you were afraid that somehow it would get back to Boyd that you were here with Gator and you would somehow get in trouble for it, fiance or not. 

“Because i’m the Sheriff’s son, and this is the first time i’ve been out in public with my fiance.” He says, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Sherry probably went and spread the word while we were eating, it’s no big deal Pearlie, the whole town was gonna find out one way or another.” He pushes the door of the diner open with one hand, and with the other he grabs your hand off the back of his shirt, using his grip to push you in front of him out the door. 

“I figured they would have done an announcement in the paper or somethin’ by now.” You mutter, hands in your pockets as you walk side by side to the jeep with him. You don’t argue when he opens the passenger side door for you, but you do give him a shit eating grin as you step up onto the running boards to climb in. 

“Yeah, well, they’re probably leaving that up to us too.” He mutters as he closes your door and quickly walks around the front end. You thought it was rather sweet of him, opening the doors for you, but you wouldn’t say anything, you didn’t want to freak him out. He wastes no time in pulling away from the diner, casually driving your car with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift on the center console. 

You studied his hand, how much bigger than the gear shift knob it was, you could barely fit your own around it but his smothered it, leaving no trace of it under his palm. His thick fingers tensing and untensing around it, as if he were squeezing it like a stress ball. You bite your lip, looking up as the car comes to a stop and he throws it in park. “What are we doing?” You ask, noticing him lifting his ass out of the seat out of the corner of his eye, shoving his hand in his pocket. 

“You ask a lot of questions, you know?” He quips, grabbing a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet holding it out towards you. You simply stare at it, and then lift your big ass, curious eyes to stare at him. He sighs, sagging against the seat. “Go in and get your damned flavored coffee, felt bad they didn’t have it at the diner..” 

You feel your cheeks start to flush, and though you were tempted to argue and tell him he didn’t need to stop, you felt yourself unbuckling your seatbelt because that was just too damn sweet. You start to get out of the car, grabbing your purse when he clicks his tongue at you, shoving his hand at you again. You decide it’s best not to argue, you don’t want to annoy him anymore than you clearly already do without meaning to, you take it, using the grip on his hand to pull him across the console. You kiss his cheek sweetly, pulling away with a smile. “Thank you..” You say, turning and jumping from the Jeep as quickly as you could without hurting yourself. 

Gator is stunned by the show of affection, his neck flushed red from the interaction. He shakes his head, fighting back the smile on his face by putting his vape to his mouth as he watches you happily skip into the fucking coffee shop. “She’s gonna be the death of me..” He grumbles to himself, running a hand down his face after breathing out the fruity flavored vape that he filled his lungs with. 

You’re grateful that he’s with you when you go home because you can sense Boyd’s mood before you can see him, the house is still and quiet, the girls off at school for the day, the nanny is not needed until this afternoon. You walk through the front door with Gator laughing about the way he had narrowly avoided a hoof to his head when he was walking with Bubbles, you giggle at him as he exaggerates the scene that you had had your back turned to, shaking your head as you start for the stairs. 

“Where have you been?” His voice is cold and sends a shiver down your spine. You stop in your tracks, one hand on the bannister and turn to face him. You don’t dare look at him, but you put a complacent smile on your face nonetheless. You can feel Gator behind you, his hands sliding into his pockets much like they were on the first time he had been to your so-called home. 

“I was on that ride with Roy,” You say, calling Gator’s father by his name, he tenses behind you at the mention of the man, and you’re tempted to glance up at him and offer him a comforting smile. “And we got to talking about the wedding and what not and how i would like his girls to be in it, and he thought it would be a great idea,” You’re starting to babble, and you begin to worry that your words aren’t making any sense because of the way that his face changes. “So now Gator and I are here to pack up a bag for me because we’re going to be watching his sisters while their parents are gone for the weekend..” 

“We stopped and got an early lunch first,” Gator steps in, you feel his hand on your lower back and it brings a sense of calmness to you for some strange reason. “She was hungry..sorry, i shoulda had her call you or somethin’ didn’t mean to make you worry, Sir..” 

Boyd is quiet for a long beat, his jaw ticking like it does when he’s angry and trying not to show it. You swallow back your fear knowing that you’re safe with Gator here. 

“When will you be back?” He narrows his cold eyes at you, they hold no emotion other than the contempt that you know he feels for you, and that makes you nervous for what you’ll endure when you come home Monday afternoon, but grateful for the time you’ll have away. 

“I’ll be back Monday afternoon, after his parents come home.” You say, tired of the conversation and no longer wanting to be involved. You turn and start heading up the stairs, knocking Gator’s hand from your back as you leave without being dismissed, something you’re sure you’ll hear about next week. “See you then.” 

Gator is quick to follow behind, giving your step father a friendly smile as he clambers up the stairs behind you. “What was that all about?” He asks in a hushed voice as he follows onto the second floor landing. 

You shake your head and walk past your sisters’ room and farther on to yours, locking the door behind you. You don’t notice the way Gator’s eyebrows pinch when he notices you’ve barricaded yourselves in the room by locking it. 

“He’s an asshole.” Is all you say, shrugging off the encounter before heading to your closet to find your suitcase. 

When you come out you see Gator with his hands in his pockets again, looking around your bedroom, the one area of the house that was completely and utterly you. Pink and red accents, white frilly lace..teddy bears and fluffy pillows and blankets..the room was so..you. He had gotten his attention caught to a smattering of photo frames on your big white dresser, all of them held you in them, smiling that big beautiful smile of yours (sometimes it would be reaching your eyes, lighting them up happily, but most times it wasn’t), all of them held different people, your sisters mostly, and whom he assumed was a friend from school, a tall brunette with killer legs in a bikini with her arms around you. There was another guy in the photo too that he tried not to be jealous of, but he had his arm around your waist and was grinning down at the two of you as you guys stood on a dock in front of a boat. He loved how happy you looked there in that moment, like your mind wasn’t laden with such heavy burdens like planning a wedding you were legally bound to, or dealing with a clearly tense situation with your step father. His favorite picture though, was one of you and an older woman, your mama, he assumed. You were laughing in the photo a mess of birthday cake frosting smeared across your cheek and some pink tinsel in your hair. The silver balloons behind you said ‘15’. 

“That’s my mama..” You said, sliding up behind him. He jumps, slightly scared. “That’s the only picture i have left of her..Boyd has all the rest, wont let me see ‘em. I think they’re up in the attic somewhere.” You sniff a little, trying not to cry as you turn away, hands on your hips. “Right, lets get this stuff together.” 

After about an hour or so you’ve stuffed the whole suitcase with more clothes than you really need for an entire weekend, Gator had lightened the mood by teasing you when you tried to hide your panties and bras as you packed them, telling you it’s not like he hadn’t seen any before, and he would be seeing yours for the foreseeable future, and then making you laugh at his genuine confusion at your array of shampoos and body washes in the your shower. 

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those 3 in 1 off the shelf at the grocery store kinda guys..” You laugh, looking at him looking at the four different bottles of soaps in his hands. “Please tell me you use something that costs more than ten dollars on your hair! It’s too pretty not to use cheap crap!” You hadn’t really meant to call his hair pretty out loud, but it really was pretty, you couldn’t deny it.

He doesn’t mention it though and instead looks up at you bewildered. “Are you tellin’ me you spent more than twenty dollars on all this crap combined?” He asks, completely in awe. “Oh my god Pearlie, please tell me you’re not gonna be breakin’ my bank on fuckin’ shampoo- it’s shampoo!” 

The two of you burst out in laughter after a moment and you deemed it best not to tell him how much you spent on hair care quite yet, afraid that he would have an aneurysm if you did. He’s gentlemanly enough to help you carry the suitcase back out to the Jeep. 

He even carries it into his daddy’s house for you, and up the stairs where he shows you his bedroom. He tosses the case unceremoniously onto his bed, where it bounces. You look around for a moment, eyebrows raised as you take in the scenery. It was messier than you had imagined, but it smelled so much like him and his damn vape that you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath of air. The room wasn’t too big, and his queen sized bed took up most of the space, the rest of it littered with his clothes on the floor and posters on the wall..you noticed some trophies on a shelf that you would have to ask about later. 

“It’s not much, and it’s usually not so messy..” He says, you think he might be a little embarrassed by the red flush of his cheeks. “I’m sorry you have to sleep in here with me, but it’s better than the couch or crashing on the floor in the girls’ room..” 

“I don’t mind, Gator..” You say, giving him a little smile as you turn to face him. “It’s a fuckin’ pig stye though.” You laugh and he follows suit, nodding along with you. You had a pretty good idea of what you would be doing to keep yourself busy while Jessica and Maude were at school tomorrow, or until they would come home this afternoon. 

The rest of the early afternoon was spent with Karen giving you a run down of the girls’ schedules and how to feed them and dress them. Something about the woman irritated you to your core, maybe it was the way she clearly held nothing but disdain for her step son, or maybe it as the way that she spoke to you like you were stupid and couldn’t possibly be capable of taking care of her children, either way, it made your eye start to twitch the more you thought about it. 

You were grateful when Roy seemed to have finally had enough of hanging around after he had dutifully packed their bags into his old chevy and got a little snappy with his wife, who quickly scurried out of the door. He gave you a friendly squeezed of your shoulder, his giant hand engulfing your shoulder, before mentioning something to Gator in hushed tones that seemed to only upset the boy as his voice turned tense and cold and his back stiffened like it did earlier in the day. 

The house was quiet once the door shut, creepily quiet once the old Chevy had meandered it’s way out of the gates of the house and down the road of the ranch. You stood in the doorway of the kitchen, not quite sure what to do with yourself as you kept your eyes on your fiance. He’s watching out the windows next to the door, his back muscles still tense. You wondered if he would be upset with you if you asked what his father had said, if you asked if he was okay. You decide against it though. “Gator?” You ask, your voice soft, small and quiet. He hums in response, hands on his hips as he glances back at you. “Shouldn’t we go pick up the girls?” You noticed it was nearing time for school for your own sisters  to be out, and while Gator’s went to a private christian school you figured they probably had the same start and out times as your sisters’ school. “It’s almost three..” 

“Yeah..” He runs a hand down his face, clearing his throat. “Yeah, let’s get going.” 

taglist:

@ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki @xmalfoyweasleyx @girlwiththerubyslippers

[pastadoughie]

MY NAME IS SPELLED WITF AN E AND NOT AN A get it RIGHT!!

hai! im rowen (he/him) and i draw thingse soemtimze!! im a queer (trans, intersex, gay) old furry artist :3 u probably know my blog for drawing many many silly kitties and miscilanious creechers, but i do other things!

i do requests (no ocs or fandom shit, ONLY silly) and i take commisions (i am working on a website to organize all the prices and stuff, but for now, just dm me if youre intrested)

i do all my art on mspaint (win10 ver.) unless explicitly stated otherwise, i just use the default pencil tool on 4px (the largest default size setting) witch is a round brush with no antialiasing

i use a drawing tablet, the XP-Pen Deco 1 V2 (Celeste, He/Him), and an ASUS Harman/Kardon i7 14.5 In. laptop (Chelsea, She/Her)

my blog mostly runs on a queue, witch is very long and only goes onse a day, so sometimes extremeley old artwork gets posted. for this reason posts that are recently posted are not nessasarily recently drawn. furthermore, asks sometimes take an extremely long time to post after ive actually answered them, so please dont resubmit things. (+ i have far too many askse to actually be able to answer them all. so asks that are very similar to things ive already answered, are extremely time consuming, or are just not that funny, are unlikely to ever be answered)

rebeast : is for reblogs of other peoples content

rowencatfanart : is for fanart people have made for me (if you make any please tag it as such, as well as mention me in the post)

the beast speaks : is for all my original text posts

retchid opinions : are for my own text posts where i actually say things of value and have an opinion on topics

screaming and scampering : is for when i say bullshit that doesnt matter

consulting thea council : is for polls of mine

rowens serious art : is for serious rendered art of mine

rowens liddol guys : is for sillies of all kinds that ive made

biblically accurate rowen : is for art of non-kitty me, for blacklisting purposes (i like to not be reminded i am a person when im scrolling thru my own blog) mspaint animations : for when i animate things on mspaint (onion skin is for cowards i let my heart guide me) rowens animatics : are for when i make, animatics, its really self explainatory. rowens advertising : is for when i advertise my products or twitch or commisions or whatever. for blacklisting purposes the mewsifixtion : is for when i give out easter eggs 2 ppl who send me asks. asks for this are currently CLOSED rowensumptions : are for when ppl send me headcannons they have abt me thru asks S teir wimpering : for the text postre ive made that r actualey funny rows gross old ort : for when i reblog old art of mine nyanportant : for reblawging / posting any asks or fundraisorsz, i try 2 vett things b4hand as well as not post 2 many @ the same time i tag all asks with the username of the person who asked them, so if u want to find a previous ask of yours i answered you can just search your own username i also try to tag asks i answer with the date of when they were sent to me, and the date i actually drew them, because the queue can make this confusing,,, i cant really retroactively see the send date of posts i made before this tagging change, so some we will simpley nevr know,,, dates are written in american date format. so month-day-year i always tag the software i use for each artwork, but its pretty much always MSPaint (Win10), though i occasionally do image editing in Asesprite

the gray and white kitty i draw most frequently is my catsona! he is not an oc and is specifically meant to represent me

i ask that you please do not use drawings of him as personal branding (such as pfps, banners, avatars, ect.)

the samething applies to my fursona, valentine, though his design changes too much to give an accurate ref for, i generally will specify in the tags

u can find me on tumblr (duh) : @pastadoughie : my main @leftoverdough : is my reblog sideblog @scungledfiles : is the web graphics blog i run w/ my friend (@soggiedsocks) (though we havent been as active as of late cuz mentol ealness + i have been fopcusing moar on this blog) youtube : pastadoughie (i havent posted in 6 months ouhm, oops,) twitch : pastadoughie etsy : scungledthings (i also share this with @soggiedsocks, when contacting my shop you will most likely be talking to him and not me.) if you would like to contact me FOR COMMISIONS directly you can also do so discord : pastadough email : pastadough01@gmail.com PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONLY BUISNESS INQUIRIES!! stupid shit should be sent via ask or tumblr dm. DO NOT FLOOD MY EMAIL!! i WILL block you!! --- Last Updated : 5-1-2024

[i4juni]

[ 6:35 PM | YUMI'S ROOM | YUHOON ]

tw: body shaming, unhealthy diet, yumi is told to loose weight ( in an unhealthy way ) when she was a kid, crying, cursing, yumi's mom is a horrible mom, pls lmk if i missed anything !!!

yumi was exhausted.

the reason for yumi's exhaustion wasn't the usual factors: practice, interviews, studio sessions, etc. it was her mother.

she had called to congratulate yumi on her magazine shoot with vouge korea, a dream of hers since she was a little girl. her call was surprising, considering the fact she never called for anything unless she needed money. but regardless, yumi answered the call in hopes of it not turning out like all their other phone calls: in a dispute.

“im only saying that you should loose a little weight, yumi.” her mother argumented from the other side of the phone, “you won't be hired for another magazine shoot if you keep putting on more weight.”

the younger sighed, running her hands through her hair, “i put on that weight intentionally, mom,” yumi explained, exasperated, “i was getting alarmingly skinny, it wasn't healthy.”

her mother grumbled, her words barely audible, “didn't you learn anything from the years you spent modeling? skinny is what sells best.”

in that moment, yumi felt like she was back at her old modeling agency. tears were streaming down her face as her agent screamed about how she hadn't lost the weight they had told her to loose.

“but i just can't loose it!” the 10 year old girl choked out between cries, “i've tried but nothing works, unnie.”

the woman scoffed, rolling her eyes, “well, try harder. i will be calling your mother to inform her about your inability to follow orders.”

“are you even paying attention to me, yumi?” her mother hissed, “i swear, you never pay attention to me when i speak.”

yumi snapped back to reality, realizing she had been suppressing her tears all while her mother went on her rant. her head was pounding from the force of keeping her tears from falling. the pain made her dizzy, she felt like she was going to faint at any moment.

“mom, i have to go. call you some other time.”

with that yumi hung up the call, quickly throwing her phone on her bed. she stared at it for a second, taking it all in. her eyes started to well up with tears, the sour memories of her agent screaming at her about her weight rushing into her mind.

yumi had suppressed those memories, so much so, they took her by surprise. the memories seemed so fresh in her brain, it was draining. she tried so hard to not let the tears fall, but the lump in he throat and her sped up heart beat made it increasingly difficult to do so.

“fuck-” yumi whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek, “no, no, no-” she felt the tears start running down her face, she was breaking down.

her soft cries slowly started turned into sobs, increasingly getting louder. yumi slowly walked over to her bed, where she threw herself on. grabbing her teddy bear, she hugged it as a form of consultation but the tears wouldn't stop. her cries only got louder.

“yuyu?” a soft voice called out for from her bedroom door. the younger sat up in her bed, looking over to her door to see sunghoon. his eyes met her puffy ones and his face scrunched in confusion.

“what happened? why are you crying?” he questioned, quickly making his way over to her bed and taking a seat in front of her.

yumi knew couldn't say anything without a sob escaping her lips, but tried nonetheless, “my mom called.” she whispered, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

sunghoon's face went from confused to sad, a frown forming on his lips as he scoot closer to the girl, “oh, yuyu.” he whipped the tears from her cheeks and tucked that annoying strand of hair behind her ear.

he didn't have to hear what her mother said to know she had, yet again, body shammed yumi. it wasn't the first time she had called just to bombard her daughter with unnecessary comments about her body. sunghoon had been present the first time it happened, it was awful to see how degrading the comments were. when the call ended, yumi was close to tears and him, together with the other members, had to do damage control. but even though this wasn't the first time it had happened, she had never left her daughter sobbing.

yumi stared at the older boy for a second before collapsing on him, sobbing into his chest. he let out a small gasp, the action took him by surprise. he wrapped his arms around the girl, soothingly rubbing her back, “its okay, I'm here.”

he knew she would be crying for a while, he was mentally prepared to be there for a good while but he didn't mind. he just wanted for her to feel better, it broke his heart into a thousand pieces seeing her like this. he couldn't phantom the thought of her own mother telling her those comments, knowing it tore the girl down. he only hoped that his presence would help soothing, even if it wasn't much.

author's note ! feeling pretty proud of this !! thank you to @flowerjun for beta reading this 🩷

taglist ( open ) ! @seolboba, @flowerjun, @lost-leopard-beanie

[robinofinashiro]

prompt: “you want me to show them who you belong to, don't you? put you in your place?"

characters/fandom: johnny joestar x reader

request status/note: sorry im having a SUPER hyperfixation over my cowboy husband

pronouns used: she/her and afab!

you were standing by your horse, ready to come out with your horse to the music that was playing. you were sporting your most iconic outfit, one that many knew about.

you were a pretty well known jockey, especially around the Kentucky area. you had your start right alongside with Johnny Joestar. Kentucky's best jockey really up until his accident. you took a lot of your inspiration from the blond haired boy and although he never knew about it, it wasn't really a secret to those around you.

being a jockey, that also meant that you had to participate in showcases. those were generally saved for when a big race was coming up and the one on the table was the Kentucky Derby. the big one as everyone called it.

you were in the running to the winner for the women's race and you felt on top of the world as everyone chattering around you was just as excited as you were about it.

"from her home state of ( insert here)," you didn't wait for your name to be called as you instantly kicked your horse off and ran around the track, smiling to the crowd as you waved your baby blue hat to them.

with being a horse prodigy and a current jockey, you knew it wasn't very hard to be able to do tricks with your horse. making sure that you consulted all of your friends and trainers to make sure that the horse wasn't getting hurt in the process, you managed to slightly stand up on her, blowing kisses to the crowd again.

not too far away from where you standing now with your horse was Gyro and Johnny. Gyro couldn't help but chuckle at how confident you were with the crowd. he knew how you really were. you weren't as confident or outgoing in person as you were in front of the crowd.

you were a shy one. someone who tended to keep to herself unless your were spoken too. Gyro being a 3x time Kentucky Derby winner and in the jockey game a lot longer than you were, he heard the real whispers around your name. you were smitten with his best friend.

Johnny Joestar. the star of the Joestar family was itching to get back on the race track.

it didn't help that Johnny was also just as attracted to you but the two of you hardly ever chatted with each other. it was like a game of cat and mouse but neither of you wanted to take the bait.

as you put your horse back to her stable to eat and get well rested after the showcase, you went to the bathroom to reapply makeup and freshen up. you knew that as soon as you stepped back out, you'd have to do a plethora of interviews.

you fixed the baby blue next scarf and dusted off your newly put on skirt. you were also sporting a vest with nothing underneath it. you generally liked to keep your image clean for any younger fans but you figured with the world practically praising you, you could get away with a little bit of skimpiness.

as soon as you stepped out onto the scene, a few reporters went towards you asking for an interview. you agreed to a few, wanting to just get over with it and make your way to the saloon not too far from the race track.

every now and again you noticed Gyro staring at you. you wanted to know what he wanted but with Johnny standing right next to him, you felt a bit intimidated.

once you finished your interviews, you were grabbing your chapstick from the inside of your boot and applying it when Gyro walked over. you gave him a knowing look, wondering what bullshit he was about to tell you. that was the only perk of being friends with Gyro was that the two of you treated each other like siblings.

"yes, what do you need Zeppeli," you asked, standing against a wooden pole. he chuckled, "the baby blue and subtle stars on your boots? you're not fooling anyone darling. it has Johnny written all over it." you laughed, rolling your eyes, "I didn't know Johnny owned baby blue and stars."

Gyro shook his head in annoyance.

"its just funny that the two things that the Joestar boy is famous for is exactly what you're wearing," you wanted to fight back but you knew there was no chance when Gyro had caught you, "I just thought that the outfit was cute and my designer agreed."

Gyro agreed, "oh believe me, you are a cute little thing and if it wasn't for Johnny, I'd totally go after you but there's a reason why he's glaring down at me right now," you slightly turned yourself around to see Johnny tapping his crutches with annoyance.

the skirt that reached up to your mid thigh was blowing against the wind as you started to feel the chills that the Kentucky night was bringing.

"i'm going to be at Shooters tonight with the rest of these fuckers. you and Johnny should come along," you said as you walked off

Gyro hummed in amusement as he watched you kick the dirt and go towards the hundred year old saloon that became infamous for horse jockeys. he knew Johnny was going to be there regardless but maybe a little bit of alcohol would help the two of you loosen up.

as soon as they arrive, they spotted you with your close friends, sitting as a booth with mugs of beer. you were still wearing your outfit from earlier but now it looked like you rode up the skirt a bit more and opened a few buttons from your vest.

Johnny and Gyro stayed towards the bar, talking amongst the friends that they had there when they noticed you were already on the dance floor, dancing with a friend of yours.

"Johnny, look," he whispered as he gave his friend a nudge. Johnny looked up and as soon as his eyes landed on yours. you were using your hat as a fan as you tried to make yourself look as sober as possible.

the three of you were now several mugs of beer into the night and you were more open to talking to whoever was around you. Gyro made his way to a girl that was dancing with you as he flashed her his grills and grabbed her hand. she instantly acknowledged what he was insinuating and started dancing against him.

you were moving to the music, minding your own, when you felt someone behind you. not giving a care in the world, you started dancing against them, smiling to the music.

Gyro shot Johnny a look of acknowledgement as he knew that if neither of you were sober, this would not be the situation that would be playing out.

as you turned around to drink some more of your beer, you noticed those bright eyes that belonged to none other than Johnny himself. your eyes widened as you instantly tried to remember when he appeared behind you but you had been dancing long enough that you just figured you were dancing with different people.

just as the song changed, the small bit of confidence you had left, you managed to sit Johnny down on a chair and started dancing on top of him. your closest friend, Abby, and Gyro, stared at each other as they realized what was going on.

Johnny was lax against the chair, sipping on his beer as your legs were wrapped around his waist lazily, "don't think you'll mind if i steal this from you?" you asked lazily as you grabbed his beanie from his head, tossing your own hat in the sea of people. he chuckled as he watched you fix his hat on your head.

"not at all," he chuckled against your neck, "it's like you want me to show them who you belong to, don't you? put you in your place?" Johnny hadn't had this kind of confidence in what felt like years. before his accident, during his days as that cocky jockey from the famous Joestar family, he would've said it like it was nothing but now? it was even surprising to him.

"maybe I do. maybe that's the whole reason why I'm here dressed in a very Johnny Joestar outfit," you murmured back, your lips now against his, "ever think that's why I showed up like this today?" Johnny's hands found your thighs as he rubbed them slowly.

"maybe I'll give everyone a show, just to showcase that you really are mine," he replied as stood up and balanced himself against his crutches and pointing out that now very large hickey on your neck. you rolled your eyes as you realized that the hickey he left you was nothing compared to how you left his lips. battered and bruised for the lack of a better word.

"i think you're on the right track, ( your name ), i think it's time we do show everyone that you were always mine."

and that Johnny did. the following morning, you had woken up to being tangled in Johnny's arms as Gyro and Abby were sending you the newlines that you were "befriending" Johnny Joestar at the famous jockey salooon.

you knew that befriending was far from the truth as the marks on both of your bodies told a completely different story and it didn't take an idiot to see that as the next race you were competing in, you were wearing Johnny's most famous beanie and the lipstick he always adorned.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hey! so i hope this isn’t too creepy/nosey, but im a medical student and i was reading your possible fibromyalgia post and have a couple ideas lol. full important disclaimer that im only partly into my studies and im currently in the hypochondriac phase and also your summary was amazing but a real doc would ask way more questions, so please consult with an actual doc and take everything i say with a grain of salt! but like your symptoms aren’t nothing so i would def encourage finding a doc that you trust to do a proper exam and run some tests. also im operating under the assumption that you’re under 50 lol, bc if you’re over 50ish that’s a whole diff list of possible diagnoses.

so the thirst thing you’re talking about is often called polydipsia and is commonly associated with diabetes insipidus. that’s not the normal diabetes you think about, but happens when your body can’t regulate fluids in your body properly. id think of this if you’re also peeing a lot lol. your doc would have to do some kidney tests for that, which wouldn’t be part of the blood panel you mentioned. i’m a little skeptical that it’s hypokalemia bc that would’ve showed up on your blood test results. it could be transient electrolyte imbalances when you exercise so have one of those electrolyte packets when you exercise lol, bc it never hurts to try the easy solutions first, but chronic low potassium should’ve shown up? tho eating sweet potatoes has never hurt.

other things it could be is a lower motor neuron problem bc you mentioned twitches and muscle weakness which is typical for those. i def can’t say more without tests, but look into/get your doc to look into myasthenia gravis or LEMS and see if either of those fit. i think it’s possible bc these often also start with face/upper body symptoms, but would need way more questions/tests to know. it’s unlikely but could also be a glycogen storage disease called McArdle disease bc you describe a second wind thing when you exercise along with exercise intolerance. that’s super rare tho so it’s unlikely unless someone in your family has it/has similar symptoms.

also look into autoimmune stuff like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and sjögrens disease. i have way less useful info on that bc we haven’t gotten to it in class yet lol, but sjögrens looks promising bc you often get dry mouth with it, and it often goes along with rheumatoid arthritis which could explain the joint stuff possibly.

it’s also totally possible this is fibromyalgia, but i would be cautious diagnosing it bc it often comes with fatigue and cognitive stuff which you didn’t mention. it’s also more of a pain thing, and doesn’t include your twitches/dry mouth. it’s def possible, and it was def something i thought of when i saw your symptoms, but personally i would want to rule out other stuff first bc fibromyalgia is pretty vague and often a diagnosis of exclusion when other things don’t fit.

sorry for overwhelming you!! i just saw your post and was like hmmm those symptoms sound like Something. again take my advice with a big grain of salt, but i do really think it’s worth asking your doc about it and getting tests done, bc even if there aren’t cures there are def treatments to help with a bunch of this stuff. it doesn’t sound urgent, but at least from your post your symptoms don’t sound like run of the mill aches and pains. hope you figure stuff out!!

The problem with 'muscles don't work right ouchy and I am also tired' is that it's a symptom for Absolutely Everything That Can Be Wrong With The Body. Is it cancer? Is it a terrible diet and sleep schedule? Who knows!

The doctor ran a diabetes test with the blood panel and it came up negative, but I don't know if that checks for weird kinds of diabetes. (Diabetes does not run in my family until we get very old.) That test was memorable because I have stupid fragile veins that freak out and collapse at the mere sight of a needle so I had to get stabbed nine times, they didn't manage to get the middle reading at all, and in the end they resorted to just stabbing my thumb with one of those diabetes home blood test thingies and manually squeezing my blood out into a tube drop by drop.

I looked up polydipsia and I don't think I have that. I think I just prefer my mouth to be wetter than my salival glands want it to be. 🤷‍♀️I think most of my problems are probably not related to any rare chronic disease, but just run-of-the-mill autism making it hard to look after myself or properly notice and process my physical condition and adapt accordingly. I don't eat enough fresh foods because it's hard to plan with the very short timeframe to prepare and eat them in. I'm uncoordinated and damage my body a lot through overwork or using muscles incorrectly because autism makes it hard to keep track of those things. My mouth feels dry and my skin feels itchy and my muscles feel sore because that's what being autistic feels like. My sleep schedule is garbage because my executive function is garbage and even once I do manage to get myself into the bed I can't just "go to sleep", I pass out when I'm ready to pass out.

I'm not saying it's impossible for anything else to be going on, but I think the known factor is the simplest explanation here. It's 2:30pm and I've been putting off breakfast for five hours. Every time I go into the kitchen I get distracted by housework instead. I am very hungry. This is not behaviour that is conducive to a well-functioning body.

[mueritos]

Hello! Semi emergency trans question:

Is it true hrt makes u infertile? I have known it is a possible as with everything. I am a 24 yr old pre everything (testosterone and top) trans guy and saw the tiktoker rosemary and how she got all her stuff out for future children before she started hrt because she says hrt makes u infertile but idk if she was talking about estrogen or testosterone or both can. I wanna start t but I wnat to have children in the future do I need to start saving to harvest my eggs now or do I start t and then I can go off it ? I know everyone’s different but I just need advice.I’m semi broke so I’m like stressing

From what I know, estrogen can make you infertile if youre transfemme but this depends on a number of factors, like how long youve been on feminizing HRT and that persons specific relationship to fertility. Unsure if it’s reversible if youre off E, but I imagine its only reversible to a point.

Testosterone does not make you infertile and you CAN get pregnant on T or if you stop T to get pregnant. Some transmasc folks do freeze their eggs, but I follow a couple seahorse dads (mainly Kayden Coleman!) who have gotten pregnant and had children. This is why people say testosterone is NOT a birth control and just because it can stop your periods, it doesnt meant you cant get pregnant (chances are just low, but never zero).

Unless your family has fertility issues or you have other medical issues that can impact your fertility, you should be fine to start t, plan when you want kids, and then get off t to start trying. Its best you consult with your doctors and with whoever is going to be prescribing you T, and I would reach out to seahorse dads or find what information you can on trans fertility. There are a lot of informational subreddits online, but there are many seahorse dads online who Im sure would be happy to talk. Queer doulas may also be helpful if you want information on gender-affirming birth care.

hope that helped!

[megalony]

Babysitting Duties

This is a James Wilson (House MD) imagine based on a request by a lovely anon. I hope you like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

Masterlist

Summary: So that James and (Y/n) can go out on a date, House offers to babysit their daughter. As always, things don't go exactly to plan.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You needed a consult?" James glanced between House and the patient before he gingerly walked inside and closed the door behind him.

When his pager went off and the very brief message from House said he wanted a consult in the clinic, alarm bells started to ring. James knew the only reason House would send for him like this was because he was either bored or wanted to chat about something, he would never actually want to confer about a patient. Not unless he suspected cancer was a cause or the team were stumped with a diagnosis, and that didn't happen in the clinic.

"Are you free tonight?"

"I'm gonna say no, why?" His tone was skeptical and his eyes kept flitting across to the patient sitting on the bed in the middle of the compact room. James didn't know where this conversation was going and he didn't want to have it in front of a stranger, patient or not.

"Fancy seeing a play?" Without turning his head, House produced two tickets from his pocket and handed them over before he scribbled down on his prescription pad and waved it in front of the patient. "Go take this to the chemist for your 'friend' and the problems will go away. Leave." As cynical as ever, he motioned for the man to get down and he skimped off with a sympathetic look from James on his way out.

"You want to see a stage play?"

Confusion set in James's face and he glanced back down at the two tickets he was now holding before looking over at House again. He knew House's tastes, he liked melodramas on tv and monster truck rallies and car races. Going to the theatre wasn't something House particularly enjoyed, he was knowledgeable about plays but he didn't like them.

"Me, God no. I said do you want to see a play."

"You're just giving me free tickets, why?" There had to be some kind of catch. He knew House long enough to know this wasn't some kind of friendly gesture, there had to be a reasoning behind it.

"I saved a patient's life and he gave me two tickets to a sappy play. I don't wanna go, you like that sort of thing so you take them."

House didn't treat patients on the basis that he would get rewards, favours or treats afterwards. This was his job, it wasn't something he did in his spare time for rewards, but the patient had been so grateful he thought it was normal to go out and buy tickets for House to see a play. If it had been tickets for monster trucks, things would be entirely different. House would be excited, pumped up and he would drag James along with him without asking, he would be telling him they were going out.

But it was a waste of money and perfectly good tickets if House didn't give them away and didn't go. He may as well let his friend enjoy a night out, they were free tickets too.

"Oh," There wasn't exactly a catch, House didn't want anything in return, but this wasn't him just being polite. He was being reasonable, there was a difference. "Well, thanks, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"The tickets are for tonight and I can't get a babysitter at short notice like this. Sorry."

With a shrug, James held the tickets back out towards House who had a deep frown setting into his brow and a stern look forming on his lips.

If he had a days notice or more, then it wouldn't be a problem and he would gratefully take the tickets. He and (Y/n) hadn't had a night out alone together in ages and they both enjoyed the theatre. But James knew there was no way he could find anyone to look after Josie this soon with little notice. His daughter wasn't a menace or a trouble maker, by all means Josie was a delight to look after, but she was nervous.

They tended to have family members babysit and look after her or her daycare when James and (Y/n) were both at work. She couldn't have anybody new looking after her, Josie had to get used to them or she would panic and cry and scream until either parent came and took her back home. And James knew neither his nor (Y/n)'s family could have her at short notice.

"I'll do you a trade. Take the tickets and I'll take Josie."

"You'll watch her?" Something akin to a smile formed on Wilson's lips but there was apprehension behind his eyes.

He had never left Josie under House's watch before, not since she was born and even then that hadn't been for very long. But it wasn't an awful idea, Josie loved House, she saw him often enough and she thought his antics were funny. She would be perfectly fine being left with House and as brilliant as he was, a small part of him was mentally her age. It might just work.

"Why not? She's not in nappies anymore and you can feed her, it'll be easy." House had watched over her when she was a baby and he wasn't a fan of changing her or the constant bottle feeds she needed. Now she was four, almost five, it would be a lot easier to babysit her. He wouldn't need the stress of changing her nappies or getting her bathed and ready for bed, he would leave that for James and (Y/n) to do. And they could feed her before she left so all he had to do was sit with her and stay entertained until she fell asleep.

"Okay, thanks." James pocketed the tickets before he turned towards the door, he had a patient to see to. "I'm not paying you though."

"What? Hey now if I'm-"

"Be at mine no later than six." A smirk pulled at James's lips as he exited the room and left House mulling over what he had let himself in for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are we sure about this?"

"It's too late to back out now, besides it's second row tickets." Leaning forward, (Y/n) looped her arms around James's neck and pressed her chest up against his back. She had to lean up on her tiptoes to tuck her face into his neck and press a butterfly kiss to his jaw that caused him to shiver against her.

They couldn't very well say no now, not when House would be here at any moment and Josie was already settled and awaiting him to come and spend the evening with her. Not to mention that they were already dressed and prepared to finally have an evening to themselves.

"Hm, I suppose so." James brought his hands up to hold (Y/n)'s arms and tilted his head so he could kiss her cheek.

(Y/n) grinned when he turned around in her arms and bound his arms tightly around her waist, keeping her flush against his chest and he almost lifted her up off her feet when he reeled her closer. Her arms stayed looped around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair when he tilted his head down to kiss her.

As if on cue, the simultaneous doorbell and the sound of House's cane rapping on the door flooded the air. James groaned against her lips and his fingers dug into her hips for a second or two before he slowly reeled back.

"Best not keep him waiting," (Y/n) mumbled against his lips, kissing him again quickly before she backed up and headed over to the door. "Perfect timing, as always Greg." (Y/n) rolled her lips together but something sparkled in her eyes when she watched him rake his eyes up and down her dress before he whistled.

It wasn't anything too fancy, just a black knee-length dress than fanned out around her thighs and had spaghetti straps on her shoulders. But (Y/n) knew it was the low V-shape that framed her chest which got House's attention and caused his wide smirk in her direction as he walked in.

"I think I should be the one to take you out tonight, you'd look better on my arm… or in my bed-"

"House! Don't hit on my wife." James rose a brow before he shrugged on his jacket while House rolled his eyes and headed into the living room.

"Fine, I suppose you can take her."

(Y/n) gave him a sideways glance and half a smile before she walked round him and bent down in front of the sofa where Josie was waiting patiently. She had her hair neatly done into two plats after her bath, she was wearing her new pumpkin pyjamas and on the coffee table was an array of games she had gotten ready so House could choose what they could do. The four year old was more than excited to spend the evening with him.

"Alright baby, we won't be home late. Be good for uncle House, okay?"

"I will." She scuttled forward into her mother's arms, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek and a tight hug around her neck before (Y/n) stood up, kissing her temple as she moved.

"She's had tea, if she wants to stay up with you that's fine. Oh, and please don't give her milk, she's allergic. I think that's everything."

"See you soon, sweetheart." James leaned over the back of the sofa and rested his hand on her cheek when she tilted her head back to look up at him. He kissed her temple, smiling against her skin when she patted his hand and he leaned back upright and turned to House. "Ring me if you have any problems-"

"We won't."

"Alright, just… be careful, please?" James ran his fingers through his hair, tousling the strands a little until (Y/n) reached out to hold his arm.

He loved House, he was like family to them, but James knew how Josie could be and he knew how House was when he interacted with people, even if he was a little softer with kids. James couldn't help but worry, they didn't often leave Josie other than for work and they had no idea what kind of antics House was going to get up to tonight.

"We'll be fine, no shoo." House waved his cane towards them before he shrugged off his back pack and flopped down onto the sofa next to Josie who giggled.

A soft look passed over House's face when she scuttled over and perched herself on his good leg, knowing not to sit on his lap like she did with her dad because it would hurt him. Her hands patted his chest excitedly before she leaned over and leaned her chin up on his chest.

"Uncle House, I have games we can play."

Brilliant, I love winning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Uncle House, isn't that one mine?" Josie's innocent eyes stared up at House from where she was sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table to him. She smiled sweetly like she was hussling him and pointed to the place on the Monopoly board where he had just landed, praying she wasn't paying as much attention to the game as he was.

It wasn't the version of Monopoly House liked to play, this was the junior version for little kids and it was still a bit too old for Josie to be playing, but she was trying her best.

"Yes," He responded with a roll of his eyes but he supressed a smirk when she held her small palm out across the table.

"Money please,"

With a sigh and a shake of his head, House handed over a few paper notes that Josie quickly added to her large pile. He was glad she was too young to be able to count properly or read the numbers on the notes. Since they were colour coordinated, House had told her the white ones were the biggest amounts of money so she thought she had lots when really she had a big pile of ones.

"You're just like your mother." He muttered to himself before handing her the dice.

He watched her move her colourful piece around the board until he tapped on the right space where she needed to stop. At this point he was winning both by intelligence and a little cheating and as fun as it was to win, he liked more intelligent opponents.

"What?" He mumbled with a shake of his head when she stared up at him with those big eyes that were full of uncertainty and questions.

"Why do you have all the houses?"

"Because I'm in charge. Come on, let's watch tv." House messily shoved all the pieces and cards back into the box and folded the board up to put it away. He knew she was starting to get tired now and he was bored of playing, they had gone through four games and stopped hallway through when both of them got bored and their attention spans ran out.

For a second or two, House froze when Josie climbed up onto the sofa and easily scuttled under his arm. She tucked her knees up to her stomach and leaned into House's chest, grinning when he slowly draped his arm over her side.

He grabbed the tv remote and started flicking through the channels, something told him Josie wouldn't care what he put on, she seemed like she would go with anything and he liked that. He didn't want to sit watching kiddy cartoons or listening to childish songs that he despised but for some reason got stuck in his head anyway.

"What's this, who watches this?" House scanned through the shows and movies that had recently been recorded but paused over one that was clearly a Spanish tv show on series record.

"Oh, that's daddy's show. He's learning Spanish," Josie shimmied more into House's side causing him to pause for a moment and glance down at her.

"Not anymore,"

He waited until she was comfy next to him before he pressed delete.

"Pet Cemetery, classic. What's the password?" House tried to play the movie on record but Josie only giggled into his side and shook her head.

"Daddy said you can't have password," This afternoon before they left, James had told her that uncle House would mostly likely try and watch some weird or scary stuff and if he tried she should tell him off because he would listen to her. He also told her not to show House where the tv password was written down in the drawer beneath the tv so he couldn't watch anything other than PG rated movies or shows.

James wasn't going to leave House in charge and let him give Josie nightmares, whether he meant to or realised it or not.

"Your daddy's silly." House settled on Ghostbusters, it was something he could easily sit through and something Josie would probably find funny rather than scary.

Leaning down, House rummaged through his backpack and pulled out a bottle of Pepsi and a plastic bag full of a variety of sweets. He needed to keep himself entertained somehow and he was feeling peckish. but one thing he was sure of was that he was glad he had gone through with this and come round to look after Josie. He liked spending time with his Goddaughter, she was a welcomed break from the idiots that surrounded him in the hospital and the team he worked with.

"Can I have a sweetie, please?" Despite how tired she was starting to feel, Josie peeked over at the bag on House's other side. She was always partial to a sweet, just like her mum.

"Go on." He moved the bag so it was between their knees so they could each take some. House was starting to see that he was becoming like Wilson, a push over when it came to the four year old. She could wrap both of them around her finger without even trying. House never shared his food, sweets or alcohol, even Wilson had to try hard to get some.

A comfortable silence enveloped them as they munched away on the random sweets House had brought along. And every now and then he felt Josie jump against his side or giggle to herself, he could tell she hadn't seen this movie before. And he could also tell that she was slowly starting to fall asleep.

He wasn't going to bother with her bedtime routine because frankly, he couldn't be bothered to get her through that and into bed and deal with her waking up. House knew what she was like, she would only keep waking up asking if her parents were back yet or when they would be home.

She was a nervous kid and she would feel better staying up with House until her parents came home so they could tuck her into bed.

House was drifting off into his own world until Josie jolted him back to reality.

The little girl jumped forward until her head was almost on her knees but it was the way she was trembling and waving her hands that told him something was wrong.

"What, what's up?"

Reaching out, House held her by her sides and turned her round so she was facing him. He paled when he saw the fright in her eyes and when she waved her hands near her throat and no screams, gasps or noises left her throat, he realised she was choking on a sweet.

"Stay still girlie, you're fine." An unusual tenderness flooded through House's voice when he firmly cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up. He tapped a finger against her lips so she would open her mouth wider and he could assess whether he could see the sweet or not.

Josie snapped her eyes closed that were already starting to water and she went floppy letting House yet again move her around. His hands held her sides and he sat her down on his lap facing away from him, ignoring the burning it caused in his thigh.

"Lean forward," House tilted her forward and lined the base of his palm up between her shoulder blades before he sent three sharp smacks to her back to try and jolt the sweet free. He could feel the way she shook against him and he quickly moved his left arm round her side and planted his palm against her chest to keep her steady so she didn't topple to the floor.

Josie's hands continued to wave at her sides and scratch at her throat out of panic and when House leaned round to look at her, he noticed her lips had started to pale from lack of oxygen.

"Alright, let's try another round."

House hated to do the hymnic on children, he had to be much more careful than when doing this on an adult and this was Josie. This was his little Goddaughter, he didn't want to hurt her even if it was to save her.

With his hand curled into a fist and the knuckle of his thumb sticking out, he jabbed his fist into her lower sternum just above her small bellybutton. After three goes, he groaned and his lips pressed tighter together while his brows furrowed in anger and concentration. This was the first time he had looked after her in a long while, he couldn't be taking her to A&E from choking on a sweet on his watch. He couldn't be explaining this to James and (Y/n), they would never let him babysit again and despite what he tried to tell everyone, he actually enjoyed being with her.

"Come on!"

Another two rough smacks between her shoulder blades sent a lemon sherbet flying past her pale lips and they both watched it rattle across the coffee table and stick to one of the magazines.

A sigh of utter relief left House's lips and he threw his head back when Josie started to cry. It was like music to his ears after having her choke, crying meant she was conscious, had no blockage in her throat and was relatively alright. No lack of oxygen to her brain, she hadn't choked long enough for that to happen and he had helped her swiftly.

"U-uncle House…" Josie wailed quietly, sniffling and bubbling saliva between her lips. She couldn't see anymore due to the tremendous amount of tears flooding her face.

He gently turned her around to face him, a lot less tension in his arms and more care in his touch now.

In an instant, Josie's arms wrapped around his neck and she let her front fall onto his chest and her knees caved and bent into his stomach but he stiffled the groan of pain it caused. He let her snot and whimper into his neck while he rubbed his hand up and down her back, unknowingly humming a tune in her ear to calm her down.

"I got you, girlie, shh. No more sweets though."

A few coughs left her lips and vibrated into House's neck but he could feel her slowly starting to calm down against him and he rocked her in his arms. She was tired now, exhausted and shocked, he knew she was going to fall asleep soon and the sooner the better as it would help her feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's sweet," (Y/n) kept one arm looped around James's arm while she fumbled for her phone and quickly took a picture of the scene in front of them.

House was stretched out on the sofa, head back on a cushion and mouth open with quiet snores leaving his lips every now and then. He had his bad leg hanging off the side of the sofa, but laid out on his chest was Josie. Her head was tucked under his chin, her arms were hooked around his neck and she was dribbling onto his shirt. They had a blanket draped across them and the end of Ghostbusters was playing on the tv.

"Sweetheart, we're home." James whispered quietly while he bent down beside the sofa.

Once Josie's eyes started to flutter, James leaned across and carefully eased her off of House's chest and took her into his arms. She needed to go to bed, it was late and she was going to make House wake up with aches and pains if she continued to lay on him and crush his chest. And House was asleep which was a good thing, he could crash on the sofa for the night and stay for breakfast in the morning.

Josie curled up into James's arms, burying her face into his neck and smiling when she felt him kissing her head repeatedly while he walked towards the kitchen and (Y/n) busied herself trying to make House more comfortable. His hand rubbed up and down her back and he smiled into her hair until she murmured something and wriggled against him.

"My back hurts," She whispered quietly causing James to frown. When he got to the kitchen, he leaned back against the counter, briefly grabbing her a cup of juice before he brushed his cheek against hers so he could look down at her back.

Slowly, he hooked his finger under the hem of her shirt and pulled it up but he took a sharp breath when he saw the beginnings of light bruising between her shoulders.

What had she done while they were out?

"Oh, baby what happened?"

He could feel her nuzzling her cheek against his and she brought her closed fist up to rub her button nose as she tried to look at him but she was too tired to keep her eyes open.

"Uncle House saved me,"

"Oh yeah, what did he save you from baby?" Amusement and worry both flashed in his eyes as he waited impatiently for her answer.

Had she been running around while House wasn't watching and had a fall? Did she try to play hide and seek or play a game and it went wrong and House had to patch her up? Josie herself didn't seem to upset or worried which calmed Wilson down. She seemed like she had had a good night, there were sweet wrappers across the floor, board games out on the table and a movie on tv so House had kept her entertained.

"A sweetie got stuck," Tilting her head back on his shoulder, Josie tiredly pointed to her throat, "He got it out."

Something rattled down Wilson's spine and his arms tightened around his daughter when he looked back over at her back before he growled. She had choked on a sweet. House had given her the hymnic manoeuvre to stop her from choking. He knew she was four, he knew hard boiled sweets, gobstoppers and overall touch candies that House himself loved, would be too much for Josie but he had let her have them and she had choked.

"House!"

[skunkes]

Congrats!! if u dont mind, how was it setting up for the surgery ? (Like scheduling it and exams before it)

ok I was actually very very lucky considering where I live and the usual experiences. it's different in every area! some people cant schedule the surgery until they've had a mandatory month long Thinking it Over period, some cant get it done without specific exams having been done first, etc

first of all after years of looking through this list I finally saw a single doctor listed for my city ! Doctor sterilized someone younger than me and childless, so I broke the news to my dad and made an appointment. This guy is always busy helping deliver every single baby born here so I had to wait a month to see him. (called June 3rd, scheduled for July 11th)

I have never been to a gyn before this. Only once, in highschool, across the border for a one time issue. Some people say to schedule a routine exam then bring the surgery up but I scheduled specifically for "surgery consult" -> "permanent birth control." bc im avoiding the necessary exams like the plague.

On the day of the consult i was sick with worry about the hoops id have to jump or what if he only sterilized that other person bc they had a specific medical issue so No I Can't Get It, but I saw him for less than 10 minutes total, he asked me like 2 questions about being sure, and that was it. I told him I had events at the end of Aug and Sept so he said we could do some time in first 2 weeks of august if I was ready. No gyn exams, nothing 😭 and BECAUSE he's so busy I'd likely be his first surgery of the day bc it takes him so little time (I was and it did!)

I had to make a call to the hospital to see if my insurance would cover the hospital services, while the surgery scheduler called to see if it would cover the doctor's services. On July 22 I was called to schedule my surgery, soonest available was today, August 7th! Was told pre op appointment was the 6th (yesterday) and I was sure that's where he would Get Me. like ok cheye lets do all those humiliating exams now. U can't get the surgery unless you do. but it also lasted 5 mins, he just game me the paperwork needed to register at the hospital, and let me ask him all 20 of my questions. nothing else.

Even at the hospital all I had to do the day before was Pee in Cup and Get Bloodwork Done.

finally a win for cheye... insanely grateful for this to have gone so well and so easily in my city. and grateful to keep evading things necessary for my health LMAO

I HAD QUESTIONS LIKE YOU DID THOUGH! so even though my experience probably isnt helpful, you can find the experiences of many other ppls scheduling, consults, insurance calls, and exams in this subreddit! They have lots of informational flairs/categories and ppl even make posts on things you can ask the doctor to bill the surgery as so that insurance has a better chance of covering all of it! I was OVERprepared for my consult from the info I got from here!!! I read every single experience throughout this entire time for mental prep!!!

[writing-and-sillies]

House MD oc time bc I'm so excited

Her name is Valerie Carr, she's a legal consultant who is in the hospital literally every other day. Because of Dr. Malpractice House. She's French/Canadian, but went over the border with a work visa to work at PPTH. She's terrible, actually, she's friendly almost to the point of being patronising, proud almost to the point of being arrogant, and good at her job almost to the point of apathy. Everyone in the hospital calls her Val.

Valerie's about 5'9, but she wears heels to be taller. Her round face makes her look young, but she does her makeup to make her look her age. She wears matching dress pants and fitted vests over button-down shirts because she literally doesn't know any other combinations of clothes that look good on her and are professional. She keeps her hair tied back in a ponytail, and she's been dying it brown for ten years. She has brown eyes, and a mole over her left eyebrow.

Val is aromantic bisexual, she never goes out unless it's to the gym or to get herself a coffee, she's never been late to anything in her whole life. She definitely has autism, but she does the "You're overreacting, everyone thinks like that!" thing. She's kind of mean to adults who should know better, but a complete sweetheart with kids.

Val has two cats, her car is on its last life, but she still drives it everywhere, once a month she sits down and meticulously rebudgets everything. She's never missed an NFL game, her roommate/childhood best friend has offered to help buy her a new car, but she refuses every time. She also gives said roommate a ride to work every morning, but still manages to stay on time every day.

anyways im normal

[antlered-angel]

Friendly Reminder that Bi Lesbian is inherently biphobic, transphobic, lesbophobic, and acephobic

Reminder: i am speaking as a trans and biromantic person on the ace spectrum and i have asked lesbians on the matter. One of my best friends is an asexual lesbian who helped educate me on the matter. I have also done my research and i know what im talking about.

Bi lesbian was a term coined by a terf who didn’t consider trans women real lesbians because of the false idea that they were still men. The same terf also didn’t consider cis lesbians being attracted to trans women to be real lesbians for the same reason.

the label boils bi and lesbian down to just sexual attraction, excluding other types of attraction. Speaking as a demisexual biromantic person, that type of exclusion treats bi people and lesbians as just sexual beings.

Bi people and Lesbians were never and are never consulted on whether or not a label like that could exist or even make sense. Speaking as a bi person with lesbian friends, often times our opinions on the matter are disregarded and invalidated.

Bi Lesbian is inherently self contradictory and actively ignores the definitions of bi (attraction to two or more genders) and lesbian (nonmen being exclusively attraction to nonmen). Once again, bi and lesbian people are actively ignored when this is called out.

Bi Lesbians are often men who are trying to invade spaces not meant for or inviting to them. Lesbians are nonmen exclusively attracted to nonmen, not nonmen occasionally attracted to men. Labels are not always about comfort, they’re often more about safety. And you cannot be comfortable unless you have safety. And this label creates less safety for lesbians and trans people alike.

if you’re going to argue, do your research first and consult the people this negatively affects. Remember that it’s not about you, it’s about making sure groups like lesbians, trans people, bi people, and ace people feel safe enough that they can express who they are without their identities being threatened or completely disregarded for the sake of comfort.

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of women existing without men, imagine how lesbians feel when their safe spaces are invaded. Have some goddamn compassion with a little sprinkle of empathy, and educate yourself for once.

[m1dn1ght-hag]

okok so i have a lil request for u :)

(you decide if u wanna make hcs or a oneshot)

so, fem reader coming out to thirteen as a lesbian? and shes internally like having fireworks firing off bc shes had a crush on reader but thought she wasnt interested, but with this new info shes just like without thinking "so like i love u" like IMMEDIATELY shooting her shot

and readers also there like 🤯🤯🤯 bc shes had the biggest crush on thirteen as well lolol

tysm !! ❤

☽ starring | Thirteen x female reader

☽ pronouns used | she/her

☽ genre | fluff <33

☽ summary | lesbian Mc comes out to thirteen

☽ CW | none

☽ note | dude i never got thr notification for this request and im so upset about it cause its so cute. i have not played any of the recent lessons (i think i stopped at lesson 7 oops) for nightbringer so this will be set during the last lessons in the original game <3

Mc took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves, however that was proving fruitless when her thoughts were running rampant from her anxieties She was planning on coming out to Thirteen today. In her mind, Mc was aware that she was being irrational, and that Thirteen would accept her no questions asked - but, she couldn't help but panic considering it was her literal crush she was planning on coming out to, only working to make her anxieties all the more overwhelming. She didn't know if Thirteen herself liked girls, and it only made her hands all the more clammy at the thought of rejection. But, she reminded herself that she had to do this, or else she’d never know how Thirteen felt. But, goodness, was it not terrifying?

She consulted the brothers the day before, asking if she should come out to Thirteen, and was met with an astounding yes from everyone (especially Asmo.) Beel, however, had thought they were already dating, receiving a babble from Mc as she tried to explain that she and Thirteen weren’t dating (“yet,” Asmo so helpfully quipped as Mc groaned in exasperation.)

Solomon proved to be an exceptionally terrible person to turn to for advice, especially when he suggested a hypnotic potion to "ease the nerves." The audacious offer was swiftly shot down and she left the sorcerer as quickly as she arrived. She didn't know why she considered him in the first place considering Solomon's and Thirteen's "friendship", but in her defense, she was nervous and wanted all the reassurance she could get before finally going through with it.

Simeon and Luke, while they didn't provide any advice, comforted her a bit despite her own thoughts betraying her. They reminded her that Thirteen would support her one hundred percent and that she wouldn't know how Thirteen felt unless she shot her shot; but, as much as Mc wanted to shoot her shot, she didn't think she was brave enough to do so quite yet. She had only barely worked up the courage to come out - asking her out was a complete other level she didn’t think she'd be ready for for a long time, if at all. Regardless, she thanked them for their reassurances, feeling a little more confident than she did before.

Consulting the demon lord and his butler didn't prove fruitful as she only got a beaming grin from the former and a knowing smile from the latter. The advice Barbatos offered was cryptic and completely flew over Mc's head. Whereas Diavolo's advice, although well-intentioned, only worked to make her anxious and unsure again, bringing her back to square one.

Having consulted everyone she could think of, she sighed in defeat, flopping back down against her bed as her arm instinctually moved to cover her eyes. Groaning in exasperation for what felt like the millionth time this day, she shifted her arm away from her eyes to study the vines grown above her bed, trying to ease her nerves before she backs out.

Mc was startled from her thoughts by the sudden knock on her door followed by Asmo’s sing-song voice, “You’ve got this, Mc!”

She offered a thanks in appreciation before heaving a deep sigh.

Pushing herself up from her bed, and smoothing out her clothed she began to fret over her appearance. She wanted to make sure she was presentable before leaving the house, and possibly, maybe by miracle, coming out to Thirteen.

Once she ensured she looked decent, she recounted all the advice she’s gotten and left her room. As she passed the living room she glanced in and got a thumbs up from Belphie, whom was lounging lazily on the couch. Beel also gave an encouraging smile before returning to his snacking, quickly adjusting Belphie’s neck so he didn’t strain it after it had dropped uncomfortably into the arm of the couch.

“Good luck, Mc,” Satan offered offhandedly, enamored with a new book he’d picked up from the library, nose buried in it as soon as he entered the front doors.

Mc hummed quickly, offering him a swift “thanks” before she was out the door and heading towards Thirteen’s lodgings, the directions etched into her memory from the numerous times she’d been over. ‘This is just another outing with Thirteen… Except for the fact you’re about the confess - Nope. Not confessing. Simply coming out.’

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t realized that she’d arrived until she was at the front door, fist subconsciously raised to push the doorbell.

“Mc!” Thirteen called as she opened the door, signature smirk on her face.

“Oh! Hi,” Mc returned the smile, feeling her face bloom as she stepped into Thirteen’s house.

Thirteen swayed off into the kitchen as Mc made her way to her room. It was routine now to plop herself down onto Thirteen’s bed while she waited for the other to join her and plot traps for Solomon together. Except, this time she’d be dropping a bomb on her, and she only hoped it didn’t sour their friendship.

“Mc,” she jumped at her name being called, eyes landing on Thirteen standing in the door with a bowl in her arms, “you’re distracted, how are we supposed to prank Solomon like this? What’s on your mind?”

The tone of her voice easily gave away she wasn’t actually upset by her empty-headedness, but Mc was too lost in her own worries to recognize the concern lacing her words.

“Oh, uh-“ she swallowed thickly, grimacing at the knot in her throat, “it’s nothing, don’t worry. We’ll plan the most diabolical prank for Solomon yet!”

“Well, duh!” Thirteen drawled out using her free hand to exaggerate her words, “But I can’t have my prank partner being out of it, so what’s on your mind?”

She approached the bed and placed the bowl on the nightstand, hand on hip as she urged Mc to continue.

‘Damn. Should have known I couldn’t get past her intuition.’

“Well-“ she wets her lips and wrings her hands, nervously picking at the skin around her nails, “-I, uhm. Have something, ahem, to tell you.”

“Well? Out with it,” she urged Mc to continue, staring expectantly.

“I, well, I’m a lesbian. I like girls.” Mc finished quickly, feeling relief for having gotten it out before it was quickly replaced by dread.

“Is that it?” Thirteen quickly reiterated her words, “Sorry, that wasn’t what I was trying to say. Thank you for telling me, I guess I should tell you I am too.”

“You too?!” Mc shouted, nerves instantaneously dissipated at the revelation.

“Well, duh,” Thirteen joined Mc on the bed, crawling over her legs to get situated in her designated spot, “damn, Mc, I’m hurt that you didn’t know.”

Mc sighed and elbowed Thirteen, smiling at the lighthearted quips the two were able to comfortably exchange.

“Since the cat’s out of the bag,” Thirteen quickly adds on, halting Mc’s laughter, “I guess now I can say that I like you.”

Huh?

Mc stared, dumbfounded at Thirteen’s confession.

“I didn’t want to say anything ‘cause I figured you already had something with one of the others, but, you obviously don’t so, sucks to be them.” Thirteen smirked, studying Mc’s face.

“Huh???” Mc gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish on land. “You- HUH??”

“Have I not been obvious? Really, Mc, I thought you knew me better,” Thirteen faked disappointment as she flopped backward onto her bed and dramatically held the back of her hand against her forehead. “Oh, woe! How can it be so?”

“I really wasn’t expecting you to like me, I guess?” Mc offered, unsure of what she was saying herself. Of course it made sense. Only, literally everyone else could see but her. “Okay, no... Oh, I don’t know.”

Thirteen pushed herself back into a sitting position to hold Mc’s gaze, her green eyes observing Mc’s expression. “That doesn’t matter now, what matters now is this: do you feel the same? Is this something we can pursue?”

“Yes!” Mc answered a little too quickly, slapping her hand over her mouth in embarrassment, “shit, sorry, I mean yes. I would like to pursue something with you.”

“That’s all I needed,” Thirteen’s eyes scanned Mc’s face before moving in as if to kiss her, the corner of her lips tugging upwards as she could hear Mc’s breath hitch.

Mc leaned in as well, eyes slipping closed nerves arising once more from anticipation of a kiss rather than unrequited feelings before it was all dashed as Thirteen swerved to place a kiss against her cheek instead of her lips.

“Aww were you expecting it on the lips?” Thirteen teased as she watched Mc fumble embarrassedly once more. ”How forward, at least take me yo dinner first.

Thirteen delicately weaved her hand together with Mc’s.

“Don’t be mean,” Mc leaned against Thirteen, resting on her shoulder as she squeezed her hand in acknowledgment, “I thought your pranks were reserved for Solomon, and I don’t remember changing my name.”

“You are his apprentice - willingly - so it’s only fair I get to tease you for it.” Mc scoffed at Thirteen’s answer, rolling her eyes even if it was unseen to her. “besides, you’re cute when you pout.”

“Ugh, no way you’re being corny?“ Mc teases back, dodging Thirteen’s flick to her forehead.

Im response to Mc’s quip, Thirteen swings her free arm over Mc’c chest and pulls her down with her so Mc was laying flat on her back with Thirteen propped up against her chest. Mc yelped at the sudden movement, not expecting Thirteen to drag her down. She made a motion to complain but was silenced when she heard Thirteen’s laughter fall from her lips, a sound Mc’s had the privilege to hear on numerous occasions on her outings with Thirteen, but now it sounded different, warmer. More content. As Mc continued to admire her, she took in the way her hair cascaded perfectly over her shaking shoulders, and the way her green eyes shone with mirth as her laughter began to die down and her head now lay propped against Mc’s chest.

“Cat got your tongue?” Thirteen purred, stray chuckles sneaking past her words.

An unconscious compliment fell from Mc’s lips, “you’re beautiful.”

Thirteen was stunned temporarily but she managed to regain her composure just as quickly. Using her free hand, she maneuvered it to pinch Mc’s cheek, ”who’s the corny one now?”

Mc hummed in response, having no words to humour to Thirteen’s quip as she allowed a comfortable silence to drown out their bantering.

Using the position they were currently in to her advantage, Thirteen adjusted their intertwined hands and got comfortable laying against Mc’s chest, taking revelry in the silence and newfound partnership. As Thirteen got settled, Mc could feel her heart skip a beat, and she could only hope that she didn’t hear. (She most definitely did and would be teasing her later for it, oh well.)

After Mc’s nerves settled, she adjusted herself to get comfortable as well, molding herself to Thirteen and relaxing breathing in her scent and feeling a drowsiness slip over her.

They both lay embracing one another in the comfort of Thirteen’s bed, original plans abandoned in favor of an impromptu nap.

☽ final note | I AM SO SORRY THIS TOO SO LONG I AM BOO BOO THE FOOL anyways ihope you liked it amd i hope its emough i tried but i am not caught up on the story and im rusty on writing for obey me weeps