#upper abdominal pain

[cancer-specialist-in-pune]

[marccurelab]

Order now Marcozyme syrup (200) at best price in India | Marccure

Marcozyme syrup is used for treatment in several stomach related issues such as digestive disorder, hunger issues, upper abdominal pain, gastric disorder, heartburn and symptoms like that. Marcogyme syrup contains Diastase & Pepsin. 

Diastase and Pepsin is a digestive useful resource in particular used to deal with the digestive disease and applicable digestion of starch or carbohydrate in the die into an easier structure of

sugar/carbohydrate. It is additionally an urge for a food stimulant (increases hunger) that efficiently treats acid indigestion (heartburn), flatulence (gas), epigastric distress (upper belly pain), and eructation (burping). Diastase and Pepsin can additionally be used to relieve different digestive issues like pancreatic insufficiency (inability to produce pancreatic enzymes) and belly discomfort. Indigestion is the incapacity to digest the complicated structure of meals related to the bitter stomach, fuel formation with moderate pain/discomfort in the stomach.

[tasmanianstripes]

Why is it that whenever your stomach hurts healthcare providers always assume it's menstruation? Motherfucker, I know how my periods feel like and when they happen

[macgyvermedical]

PSA:

Acetaminophen/paracetamol has a hard stop upper dose limit, above which it becomes extremely toxic.

That limit is 4g (8 “extra strength” (500mg) tablets) in 24 hours (about 2 tablets every 6 hours).

A single dose of 22 extra strength tablets can kill you.

Taking 12 or more tablets per day for more than a week can also kill you (this is about 3 tablets every 6 hours).

Symptoms of overdose take up to 24 hours to manifest, and are fairly difficult to distinguish from other problems. They include abdominal pain (especially right upper quadrant), nausea, malaise, and confusion.

The antidote (n-acetylcystine) must be given within 8hours of ingestion in order to be useful.

After 10 hours the only thing that will work is a liver transplant.

You might think “why would I ever accidentally take so much?”

Well, acetaminophen is in almost everything in the cold/flu/pain aisle. Migraine combos like Excedrin, cold and flu combos like NyQuil, basically anything that says “non-aspirin pain relief”, and anything that’s branded as a fever reducer. It’s all probably acetaminophen/paracetamol.

So the goal of this post is to get you to read the labels on your medications. Because taking taking Tylenol and NyQuil together for a week (like you might if you had the flu) could kill you.

[smaidjor]

not counting the singular dentist xray, I've had a total of 3 xrays in my life and all of them were of my hands. radiologists love my sexy hand bone structure <33 just can't get enough of xraying them <333

[caballitoo]

someone put me down i’m in so much pain

[transmutationisms]

can u elaborate on posture being a lie

As Beth Linker explains in her book “Slouch: Posture Panic in Modern America” (Princeton), a long history of anxiety about the proximity between human and bestial nature has played out in this area of social science. Linker, a historian of medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, argues that at the onset of the twentieth century the United States became gripped by what she characterizes as a poor-posture epidemic: a widespread social contagion of slumping that could, it was feared, have deleterious effects not just upon individual health but also upon the body politic. Sitting up straight would help remedy all kinds of failings, physical and moral [...] she sees the “past and present worries concerning posture as part of an enduring concern about so-called ‘diseases of civilization’ ”—grounded in a mythology of human ancestry that posits the hunter-gatherer as an ideal from which we have fallen.

[...]

In America at the turn of the twentieth century, anxieties about posture inevitably collided with anxieties not just about class but also about race. Stooping was associated with poverty and with manual, industrialized labor—the conditions of working-class immigrants from European countries who, in their physical debasement, were positioned well below the white Anglo-Saxon Protestant establishment. Linker argues that, in this environment, “posture served as a marker of social status similar to skin color.” At the same time, populations that had been colonized and enslaved were held up as posture paradigms for the élite to emulate: the American Posture League rewarded successful students with congratulatory pins that featured an image of an extremely upright Lenape man. The head-carrying customs associated with African women were also adopted as training exercises for white girls of privilege, although Linker notes that Bancroft and her peers recommended that young ladies learn to balance not baskets and basins, which signified functionality, but piles of flat, slippery books, markers of their own access to leisure and education. For Black Americans, posture was even more fraught: despite the admiration granted to the posture of African women bearing loads atop their heads, community leaders like Dr. Algernon Jackson, who helped establish the National Negro Health Movement, criticized those Black youth who “too often slump along, stoop-shouldered and walk with a careless, lazy sort of dragging gait.” If slouching among privileged white Americans could indicate an enviable carelessness, it was seen as proof of indolence when adopted by the disadvantaged.

This being America, posture panic was swiftly commercialized, with a range of products marketed to appeal to the eighty per cent of the population whose carriage had been deemed inadequate by posture surveys. The footwear industry drafted orthopedic surgeons to consult on the design of shoes that would lessen foot and back pain without the stigma of corrective footwear: one brand, Trupedic, advertised itself as “a real anatomical shoe without the freak-show look.” The indefatigable Jessie Bancroft trained her sights on children’s clothing, endorsing a company that created a “Right-Posture” jacket, whose trim cut across the upper shoulders gave its schoolboy wearer little choice but to throw his shoulders back like Jordan Baker. Bancroft’s American Posture League endorsed girdles and corsets for women; similar garments were also adopted by men, who, by the early nineteen-fifties, were purchasing abdominal “bracers” by the millions.

It was in this era that what eventually proved to be the most contentious form of posture policing reached its height, when students entering college were required to submit to mandatory posture examinations, including the taking of nude or semi-nude photographs. For decades, incoming students had been evaluated for conditions such as scoliosis by means of a medical exam, which came to incorporate photography to create a visual record. Linker writes that for many male students, particularly those who had military training, undressing for the camera was no biggie. For female students, it was often a more disquieting undertaking. Sylvia Plath, who endured it in 1950, drew upon the experience in “The Bell Jar,” whose protagonist, Esther Greenwood, discovers that undressing for her boyfriend is as uncomfortably exposing as “knowing . . . that a picture of you stark naked, both full view and side view, is going into the college gym files.” The practice of taking posture photographs was gradually abandoned by colleges, thanks in part to the rise of the women’s movement, which gave coeds a new language with which to express their discomfort. It might have been largely forgotten were it not for a 1995 article in the Times Magazine, which raised the alarming possibility that there still existed stashes of nude photographs of famous former students of the Ivy League and the Seven Sisters, such as George H. W. Bush, Bob Woodward, Meryl Streep, and Hillary Clinton. Many of the photographs in question were taken and held not by the institutions themselves but by the mid-century psychologist William Herbert Sheldon. Sheldon was best known for his later discredited theories of somatotypes, whereby he attributed personality characteristics to individuals based on whether their build was ectomorphic, endomorphic, or mesomorphic.

[...]

Today, the descendants of Jessie Bancroft are figures like Esther Gokhale, a Bay Area acupuncturist and the creator of the Gokhale Method, who teaches “primal posture” courses to tech executives and whose recommendations are consonant with other fitness trends, such as barefoot running and “paleo” eating, that romanticize an ancestral past as a remedy for the ills of the present. The compulsory mass surveillance that ended when universities ceased the practice of posture photography has been replaced by voluntary individual surveillance, with the likes of Rafi the giraffe and the Nekoze cat monitoring a user’s vulnerability to “tech neck,” a newly named complaint brought on by excessive use of the kind of devices profitably developed by those paleo-eating, barefoot-running, yoga-practicing executives. Meanwhile, Linker reports, paleoanthropologists quietly working in places other than TikTok have begun to revise the popular idea that our ancient ancestors did not get aches and pains in their backs. Analysis of fossilized spines has revealed degenerative changes suggesting that “the first upright hominids to roam the earth likely experienced back pain, or would have been predisposed to such a condition if they had lived long enough.” Slouching, far from being a disease of civilization, then, seems to be something we’ve been prone to for as long as we have stood on our own two feet.

[misctf]

Someone Like Him

When Dan’s good friend moved out to take a job in another state, the young man was devastated. Not only because he missed his friend, but because the next rent check was coming due. And despite having a good job in sales, the extra cost this month would set him behind. So when Amir had answered his ad online, he was elated. But flashforward a few months and Dan was slowly losing his patience.

“Your room reeks dude, could you do your laundry?” “Your plates are piling up and you spilled your protein powder all over the kitchen, can you clean it up?” “Could you be a bit more quiet when you bring guys over?” And Amir would just nod and tell him to chill out.

And so Dan was finding himself doing the cleaning, keeping up as best he could while managing his stressful job, while Amir seemed to be living his best life- partying, working out, and thriving at a job as a personal trainer. And Dan was getting tired of it. As he lay in bed, kept awake by the moans of the man Amir was fucking in the other room, he grew more frustrated.

“How is he this fucking inconsiderate?” Dan mumbled, “I wish he’d fucking know what it’s like to live with someone like him.”

As those words left his lips, he felt a sudden searing pain well up from within his abdomen. Dan flipped over, falling off his bed and gripping his abdomen tightly, the pain slowly subsiding. Tears in his eyes, Dan pushed himself up against his bed, panting heavily, a cold sweat soaking through his clothes as a heat welled up inside of him. Slowly, he pulled his shirt and pants off, basking in the cool air of his room. He looked down at his stomach- hairless, pale, and skinny in the dim light that creeped in through his window. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

“What was that?” he whispered, as he rubbed his sore abdomen with his hand. His large, tan hand. Dan’s eyes widened and he lifted his hand, staring at it closely. It looked unnatural at the end of his skinny pale arm, and as he flexed his meaty fingers, he felt an aching sensation course down his arm, “No, no, no! What the fuck?!” He shouted.

He watched as the darker tan traveled down his arm and the muscles in forearm begin to contract. His arm swelled and the muscles in his forearm became more pronounced, only to be blanketed in swirling dark itchy hairs. The young man groaned as the same feeling started in his other hand, which quickly began to expand. Dan cursed as his biceps and triceps contracted before violently expanding, the muscle toned and refined. He looked down at them in shock, unable to process what he was seeing. He was always called a beanpole growing up and throughout college. Now he had arms that could rival any of the guys on the football team. Arms that must’ve seen the gym frequently. Arms that he realized must look ridiculous on his pale and skinny body. But his worry was unwarranted as he felt his shoulders begin to expand and fill with muscle, causing his frame to widen. The muscles in his upper back followed suit, contracting and expanding, causing his body to widen.

“It hurts...” He moaned, a few tears falling down his face. He let out a yelp as he felt his torso seemingly expand, taking him from a modest 5’8” to 6’0.

He tried to push himself up- he needed to get help. But another round of muscle contractions knocked him onto his larger back. This time his pectorals and abs contracted violently. First his pecs began to swell, at first with only a little muscle, but then more quickly- expanding and growing. They became more toned as the skin turned tan and matched that of his arms and back. His abs were next, each one popping forward one at a time- becoming larger and more defined. His obliques followed suit, becoming toned and defined- giving him a set of abdominal muscles any man would dream of. But Dan couldn’t help but feel this was a nightmare. The cold sweat that covered him and the soreness that radiated throughout his upper body was too much. And before he could even catch his breath, the intensity of that itching returned. It started in his chest- hair emerging from each follicle before lengthening, darkening, and curling around his once bare chest. His lifted his arms as his pits filled with dark and curly hair. He watched, amazed at how long and dark his new pit hair was becoming. And when he caught a whiff of the musk that now emanated from them, he quickly lowered his arms, feeling tears run down his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” He breathed out- it was like he just ran a marathon and hadn’t showered for several days or worn deodorant.

Before he could fully process the new smell wafting from his pits, the itching returned- this time to his abdomen. A dark treasure trail emerged, running down to his light, well shaven pubes at the base of his cock. And once it reached there, all thoughts about his new size and smell were replaced with pleasure.

“Oh fuck yeahhhh...” Dan moaned, his large hand wrapping around his small dick.

He gave it a few tugs, and felt his dick harden to his usual 5 inches. With each tug, he felt his member lengthen. And to his pleasure, he felt his cock widen with each pump, filling his large hand more and more. Overcome by the pleasure he let go, breathing heavily while his new 13inch dick remained painfully erect. He looked down at the new python between his legs, his eyes widening as his previously cut cock became wrapped in foreskin, the pleasure nearly causing him to black out. But when he looked again, he was shocked- it was massive- putting his old dick to shame. Not to mention much darker as the skin around his upper legs similarly darkened. He let out another moan as his ass inflated with muscle, lifting him slightly off the ground. But his pleasure came to an end as he felt an intense cramping in his feet and legs. He looked down at his feet, he could see that they were also expanding, quickly increasing from size 10 to 11 and then to 13. He winced as more hairs pushed themselves out along his feet and as his legs similarly began to contract. The muscle in his calves and thighs expanded rapidly, before toning and becoming covered in a thick layer of dark leg hair. Dan watch through tears as his skin darkened there as well, until each pale patch on his body had been replaced by a rich caramel. And finally, his body and its muscles relaxed, although his new python remained painfully and pleasurably erect.

“Okay, it’s over, it over.” Dan reassured himself, pushing his new muscular body up.

He felt unbalanced on his new larger legs and he stumbled a bit towards the mirror in his room. And in the mirror staring back at him was a body of an absolute beast. Hairy, muscular, taller- his new dick twitched slightly and continued to leak. He gently rubbed his pecs, feeling the hairy between his new large fingers, taking in his new size. But his head remained unchanged, the pale skin of his thin neck and clean shaven face was completely off from what the rest of him had become. He rubbed a hand through his matted and sweaty hair, taking a deep breath. But when he looked down at his hand, his eyes widened. He was holding a clump of his hair. And when he looked up, more of his locks fell from his head.

“Am I going bald?” He questioned, rubbing his hair more and watching it fall out.

But before he could even fully register that, the pain returned, this time in his neck. He fell to his knees and watched as his neck expanded with muscle, becoming wider and wider. He could barely keep his eyes open as his face began to change. He watched as his jaw expanded, taking on a typical lantern jaw appearance, while his head expanded and matched the size of his new body appropriately. His soft features hardened and became rough, while his eyes shifted from a light brown to a dark brown. Finally, as his skin began to darken even more, he watched as hair sprouted from the top of his head, mostly shaved at the side, while a thick beard sprouted from his once clean shaven face. At this moment, a realization hit him hard. The face staring back at him in the mirror was none other than Amir. And any trace of his old physique was finally gone.

“No.... no way.” He whispered, his voice deepening and taking on a slight middle eastern accent, “Why? Why am I Amir?”

He looked over his body, a feeling of dread passing over him. This couldn’t be happening. As he racked his brain for reasons, he felt his stomach drop. Was it that stupid wish? This isn’t what he meant! But as he tried to think of anything he could do, he felt another throb of pleasure coming from his dick. And another, and then another. He fell to his bed, moaning in his deep baritone, matching the sounds the real Amir was making in the other room. He gripped his new monster and with new vigor began to stroke. Without thinking too much, he lifted his arm, again getting hit by the smell of his own musk. But this time it was different- he didn’t dislike how it smelled. In fact, it smelled kinda good. Like actually really good. He smiled and took in a deep whiff, his mind in complete bliss from his own musk. It was all starting to make sense now- Amir wasn’t inconsiderate. How could Dan have expected Amir to deprive himself of such an intense musk? And if he wanted to maintain that musk, he’d need to workout. How could he have time to clean up after himself? He had to prioritize. Dan nodded in agreement at his own thoughts, all while moving his large hand faster up and down along his dick. And that was another thing too! A dick this large needed to be shared with the world. This body needed to be shared with the world. All other things were trivial- his job, his education, his friends, his interests. All he needed was the gym and sex. He listened to the men in the other room moaning and let out a moan of his own. The sound of Amir dominating another man- it made so much sense. And slowly, Dan felt his interest in women shift. Instead, skinny guys with big asses danced through his mind. Having them suck him off or him plowing their asses caused Dan to moan even louder. And finally, after a night filled with pleasure and pain, his breathing hitched and Dan released his load. His dick throbbing- load after load landing across his chest. After a few minutes of lying in bed, nearly having blacked out from the pleasure, Dan forced himself out of bed, rubbing his cum across his large hairy chest and abdomen. He grabbed his cellphone and quickly texted his boss that he was quitting his job at the sales firm, before blocking him. What did he care anyway? As he walked towards the door, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and smirked.

“Good looking guy.” He chuckled.

His attention shifted when he heard their front door close. He smirked- Amir wasn’t interested in any of that cuddling BS after a good fuck. Dan entered the living room where he came face to face with a shirtless Amir. The other man looked confused, taking in what essentially was a mirror image of himself, except this one was covered in dried cum and completely naked. Amir raised his eyebrow.

“Well hey there, aren’t you handsome.” Amir smirked taking in the sight, “But who are you exactly?” He continued to look over the man and started trying to put two and two together, “Wait, Dan? Is that you?”

Dan chuckled and he seemed to ponder it a bit. Who was he exactly? Who did he want to be? The name Dan- the very idea of being Dan- didn’t really seem to fit him anymore. He shrugged and looked at his twin.

“I guess I was Dan once, but I feel more like Amir.”

“Wait but dude, I’m Amir.” The two stared at each other, both trying to think through their dilemma. Their brains were mostly geared for sex and working-out, this was almost too much for them. And why should it matter? Wasn’t this the best thing for both of them? The real Amir finally cracked, fully accepting their new predicament, “You know what dude! That’s fucking awesome!” The two fist bumped, “I think I’ll call you AJ since ya know we share the same last name too.”

And AJ smiled, the two of them fist bumping as he fully embraced his new identity.

A week had passed since Dan became Amir, and the two of them were living their best life. Amir had let AJ borrow some of his clothes in the meantime given that all of Dan’s old stuff was too small on him. AJ didn’t mind that none of it was washed or anything, fully enjoying the musky smell. They had spent the last week removing any old memories, photos, and possessions that Dan had, making room for AJ’s new interests. Maybe at times AJ felt a pang of resistance somewhere from within his psyche, but he never had a hard time suppressing it. Especially as the apartment became messier and messier, the smell always provided some comfort to AJ. Amir also helped AJ find a new job as a personal trainer, which wasn’t too difficult. In fact, the two had just finished up an intense workout. AJ couldn’t help but snap a photo of the two of them. And if you asked, both he and Amir had to admit, it was in fact great to live with one another.

[no-higher-thought]

said you wanted to talk about 2bhank on your last post... well i'm all ears.

oo Wait fr ??

Oh my goodness gracious youve no idea what you just released anon FUCK you for making me write all this down /lh

Very unorganised thoughts cause i had like 12 pages worth of ramblings in my notes and had to cut it down. It was borderline just nonsense, man. Im losing it. Sorry if words don't make sense.

First off, they can and have hurt eachother. Hard not to, in a world as fucked up as theirs. Hank is someone who only knows violence, and doc is far too used to manipulating people and circumstances to gain the upper hand. In combat, in business deals, sieges, all that jazz.

But honestly, considering everything ? Their relationship is definitely among the healthiest, most stable in all of Nevada. Mostly cause the bar is all the way in The Nowhere but. y'know.

Both see it as VERY transactional, which, i mean. It is, first and foremost, a business deal so like. Fair i suppose. Hank is very good at their job of killing, and doc is very good at pointing them at nice targets. A sort of  "ah shit they didn't slam the door this time guess i gotta be extra careful pulling all the shrapnel out of their abdominal cavity."

There was never any moment one could consider "feelings realization" or whatever. They're simply incredibly close as a result of just how LONG they've worked together. Neither is particularly keen on asking somethn like "what are we to eachother?" Because it just. Doesn't. Matter to them.

That and like. I am very aroace. Hank is canon aroace. Saw doc fanart with ace ring once and have been rotating it in my brain since. Big fan of non-traditional relationships, man.

It's mostly convenience, methinks. Hank may not need doc to bring them back to life, but it sure does make the process a lot shorter and less painful. Doc doesn't need hank, he has plenty of money and access to many of Nevada's most feared mercenaries. He could find someone else to do his dirty work, if need be.

And yet.

Every moment they spend together is a moment of putting their life in the other's hands. Hank trusts him not to staple their legs on backwards, and doc trusts them to not dome him the moment he turns around. Don't get me wrong, it's not trust in the other, no. It's trusting that the other isn't dumb enough to get rid of a valuable asset.

But frankly, to someone used to nothing but pain and violence, a simple lack of it might as well be a loving embrace.

Theirs is a relationship built off of many years of contracts, of shared goals, of depending on eachother, expecting the other to catch them when they fall. When they crawl back battered and bloodied. When they pass out from overworking in front of their computer for the upteenth time this week.

They'd share a bed simply because both have horrific waking nightmares and huddling together on a shitty moldy mattress helps. A net positive, mutualism. They might seek some affection from the other, but its always self-serving.

Still. Neither of them are sentimental. If the machine took them on different paths, or hell, if they had to kill the other (for one reason or another), i don't think either of them would mourn.

Simply fill their time with the next mission at hand.

Doc could kill hank. They've been under his knife often enough. It wouldn't stick, sure, but he's very much capable of sending them back to the Other place, at least once.

Hank could absolutely kill doc. There's very little stopping them. All it would take is a single hand around his neck and one good squeeze.

But they don't.

They don't, and neither does he. Because at the end of the day, both of them benefit more when the other is alive.

Mutualism.

... Anyways uh hank is a cuddler. With how fucked up their nerves must be, i bet most of their sense of touch is straight up just pain. Which would be be a bigger deal, except. Doc has access to heavy-duty painkillers. How can you not, in some odd way, love the guy that makes the pain go away, even for a bit ?

[your-queer-dad]

hi dad.

im a trans man who has unsupportive parents. i came out 7 years ago. they haven't cut me off but would hold the threat of kicking me out if i transition over my head, so i moved out and started testosterone HRT with my own money. ive been on it for about a year.

recently ive been having some upper abdominal pain issues (most likely ulcers since i drink/smoke regularly and have a lot of spicy food and energy drinks) my moms a nurse and i asked what i should do for the pain and when i should go to the ER, and she said "it's probably liver failure from you shooting up steroids, you chose this, you're on your own" and won't say anything else

im worried because i still use their health insurance. can they cut me off if i need to get emergency care? im also asthmatic so im really scared for my health. i can't afford my medicine without insurance and i will die without inhalers :(

Hey kiddo!! I'm really sorry they've been so unsupportive, that sounds like a really hard situation to be dealing with. I'm from the UK myself so I'm not sure how it works where you are, but as far as I'm aware they shouldn't be able to kick you off without giving a valid reason?I'm always here if you need to talk kiddo 🫂🫂

- dad x

[dollyyun]

𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 16

SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.

PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au. this fic is written in first pov.

WARNINGS: expletives, suggestive themes.

WORD COUNT: 8k+

TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun

🍒 MASTERLIST 🍒

A pleasant aroma penetrates my nostrils, rousing me from my deep slumber, but it also awakens me with a throbbing headache and an overwhelming sensation of fatigue. My eyes feel heavy and refuse to open, but I know I have to get up. I try to move, and a sluggish groan follows as I lift a limb. Every muscle in my body aches, wholly sore from last night's activity.

Not only does my throat feel dry as sand, but it is also sore as a result of the obvious implications of screaming excessively. I flutter my eyes open, despite the remnants of slumber still eminent, and force my upper body to rise.

A series of winces leaves my lips as I carefully move my legs over the edge of the bed and plant my feet on the cold floor. As I stand, his shirt that I'm donning falls, reaching my thighs, and I begin to move forward, but my eyes shift to the bathroom door that is opening.

Heat weaves across my cheeks as soon as he steps out of the bathroom, with his towel wrapped and hanging loosely around his hips, displaying his abdominal muscles and his attractive v-line, while moisture from the prior shower sheens on his skin. My eyes slowly trail upward, and I'm startled to see a bruise on his shoulder blade before I recall how hard I had bitten him.

Finally, my eyes meet his, and I feel even more flustered by the fact that he has been watching me check him out, given the apparent smirk on his handsome face.

"Had a good sleep, princess?" Sunghoon asks rather cockily, his fang-like teeth peeking as his smirk deepens. His eyes appear to be scanning my countenance before a low whistle is elicited from him as he ambles towards me. "The other guys are going to be fucking pissed at me."

A frown tugs at the corners of my lips. "What do you mean─" My word is cut short at the moment I turn my head to where the vanity mirror is, and I instantly understand what he meant. Fresh, purple bruises, or rather, hickeys, are visibly on both sides of my neck, as though I'm a canvas painted by an artist.

"I can't go out looking like this." I say, turning my body to face him, but a soft gasp escapes from me when he stands close to me with our bodies touching. The intensity of his dark gaze pins me, evoking the familiar heat swirling in my tummy before I subconsciously back away from him, but he moves as well.

I had almost forgotten how painful it is to walk, resulting in me staggering my steps back. My lower back hits the vanity table behind me, preventing me from making any attempt to escape, especially when he leisurely places both of his hands on the table, trapping me. "Sunghoon." I finally manage to find my voice, but even so, it comes out meekly.

"Yes, princess?" He breaks into a grin while mischievous intent glints in his eyes. He has levelled himself to my height, allowing me to stare straight into his eyes without having to tilt my head up.

"We can't." I find myself telling him, swallowing harshly while my hand grips the edge of the table behind me.

He tilts his head to one side, seeming to be feigning innocence. "Can't what?"

Despite the heat still persisting on my cheeks, I shoot him a scowl. "You know what, Park."

He cocks one eyebrow at me. "Back to first name basis, I see." My heart lurches in my chest at the moment he hoists me to sit on the table. He leans in before stopping beside my ear. "I recall a certain someone screaming my name deliriously last night, no?"

The touch of his callous palms on my bare thighs as they move upward tantalisingly slowly reminds me of when he held me while he delivered pelting, unforgiving thrusts and how his long, slender fingers curled around my neck, blocking the airways.

I squeeze my aching thighs together, reprimanding myself for being aroused just from recalling last night. It appears my mere movement catches his eyes as he glances down briefly before looking back at me with a smirk. "I thought you said we couldn't." He asks mockingly, and his hands rest on my waist underneath my shirt, abruptly pulling me closer to his body, resulting in my thighs being forced apart with him standing between them.

"Sunghoon." A pathetic whimper leaves my lips as he purposely presses his bulge against my heat. "I'm still sore."

"I know." I feel him kissing the side of my head before burying his nose into my hair, as though to smell my scent. "And I'm glad, because it'll serve you as a reminder the next time you try to escape from me." He says, lethally softly, sending shivers down my spine. He presses his lips on my cheek, kissing me deeply before slowly trailing his kisses down my neck. "You look beautiful with my marks."

"It's going to be hard to conceal them." I manage to utter, despite my shaky breaths. My hand latches onto his forearm, rolling my eyes to the back upon his suction on my soft spot. I must not cave in. "Sunghoon, please."

"Alright, I'm sorry." His breathy chuckles against my skin send flutters to my heart. Thankfully, he pulls his lips away from my neck. "My princess is still exhausted and sore." He feigns a sympathetic smile, causing me to roll my eyes in slight annoyance. "Tell me, what can I do to alleviate your pain?"

"You can start by giving me some space." I say with a slight attitude that has him raising an eyebrow.

"What did I say about giving me an attitude, princess?" Sunghoon tuts, remaining unmoving. "You're lucky that I'm feeling nice enough to help bring you into the shower." He doesn't give me time to react as he abruptly has my legs locked around his waist with his hands underneath my butt cheeks, bringing me to the shower.

"Sunghoon!" I shriek, reflexively wrapping my arms around his neck to stabilise myself. "I can walk by myself!"

The annoying smirk that sends a flutter to my heart rises on his lips once more. "But princess can't even walk without going all wobbly." He catches me by surprise with a peck on my nose. "How adorable." He coos.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Feels better, princess?" Sunghoon asks softly, lifting his head to meet my eyes. My legs are over his thighs, and his hands are massaging my sore legs. Presently, we are in his living room after having finished our lunch, which he ordered for us.

I lean sideways against the couch, smiling lazily at him with a hum. "Better." I tell him while he continues to massage my legs. My eyes glance at the clock hanging on the wall. "I really should head back to my apartment."

"What? So soon?" Sunghoon halts his movement, and when my eyes return to his face, I can't help but chuckle at how he is resembling a sad puppy. "But I just got you back." He mumbles, his lips forming into a small pout. I can't believe that this is the same man who had me completely ruined to the point where I passed out.

"Guess who's the adorable one now?" I coo, imitating the way he teased me earlier. I find great amusement in seeing how annoyed he looks, with his nose slightly scrunched.

"Call me adorable once more, and I'll─"

"Sunghoon." I cut him off, my tone is nowhere stern, yet the softness in it is enough to silence him. With a faint smile, I open my arms wide for him. "Hug me?"

Without a word, Sunghoon complies, leaning forward before enveloping me in a hug. A chuckle leaves my lips as he squeezes me tight, and his weight on top of mine causes me to fall back, but he supports me with his hand on my back, gently bringing me down until my back hits the soft.

He presses soft yet lingering kisses on my neck, still holding me, as though he's afraid I might disappear again. Butterflies awaken in my tummy as he continues to shower me with kisses, eliciting giggles from my lips as he trails his kisses to my face until his lips slot over mine.

Contradictory to the kisses we had last night, this feels a whole lot different. He's taking his time in kissing me, as though memorising the shape of my lips. He's kissing me like I'm made out of glass. He's kissing me like he never wants to be apart from me again.

"I've missed you so much." He mumbles against my lips before slowly pulling away. As he gazes down at me, my eyes soften upon seeing how vulnerable he looks right now. My hands reach up to run my fingers through his locks, which feel soft.

"I'm sorry." I deliver my apology once more in a whisper. A sad smile arises on my lips. "I promise I won't leave again."

Sunghoon grabs one of my hands before lowering it and bringing my palm towards his lips, kissing it softly before he adjusts my hand to cradle the side of his face. "I'm sorry too." He murmurs, sadness gleams in his eyes. "The last time we spoke before you disappeared was when I came over to your place, and we─" He swallows harshly, his Adam's apple is visibly bobbing up and down. "We were screaming, and you were crying because I chose the guys over you."

"It's okay." My eyes soften. "Back then, I didn't think rationally, but now I understand why. You couldn't possibly choose your ex-nemesis over them when you've been friends with them for so long."

"But this time, I'm going to choose you." He leans down to place a kiss on my forehead. "You, you, and just you."

My heart clenches. "But─"

"The other guys would too." He cuts me off with a deep kiss on my cheek. "This time, we'll choose you."

"But why?" I ask, my voice comes out shaky. "I'm not that important─"

"You are, princess." His firm voice is enough to shut me up, as does the look in his eyes. "When you left, I wasn't in the right state of mind. I felt like I had lost my other half." Pain reflects in his beautiful eyes. "I felt like my life had lost all its meaning. I reeled in regret—regret for not choosing you, regret for how we last spoke."

Unable to see him looking heartbroken, I raise my body just a little and loop my arms around his neck, bringing him back down with his head now resting on my chest. "I'm sorry, Hoon." I whisper, my fingers treading the back of his hair lightly.

I feel his arms tightening around my figure as a response. I plant a kiss on his crown before hugging him fervently. "I don't know what awaits us in the future, but with you guys by my side, I know that we can go through anything."

"That's right, princess. You have us now. We'll protect you." Sunghoon presses one last kiss on my jawline. "I'll be damned if we lose you again."

And so, a comfortable silence envelopes us as we continue to bask in each other's warmth, with him listening to my steady heartbeat.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It turns out I didn't head back to my apartment as quickly as I thought I would. Instead, I overstayed my welcome at Sunghoon's crib and spent almost the whole day with him. Four long years had us catching up on what we had missed in each other's lives.

Even when we catch up and chat like long-lost best friends, Sunghoon still has his arms wrapped around my body or just needs to touch me, keeping me close to him. It is as if he has long since been touch-deprived, which I find endearing because I never thought there would be a clingy side to him.

"How am I supposed to go home if you're clinging to me like a koala bear?" I muse, standing still in the middle of the kitchen with an empty mug in my grasp while he has his arms latch around my body.

Sunghoon lets out a sigh and leans his head on my shoulder. "But it's too early." He murmurs.

"Hoon, it's nearly ten." I retort, placing the mug in the sink. "I swear, are you the same guy who made me come nearly five times last night?"

"Seven." He corrects me and plants a kiss on my shoulder while I blink my eyes at him. "I bet the other guys can't break my record." A smirk touches his lips, to which I shoot him a scowl, despite my cheeks probably bearing blushes.

"It's not a competition."

"Oh, yeah, it is." Mischievousness glimmers in his eyes. "Yes, we agreed to share you, but it'll always be a competition when it comes to you, princess." Just then, his face turns serious. "Did you seriously mean what you said when you haven't slept with anyone else ever since you left us?"

I open my mouth to respond, but a certain someone appears in my mind. My eyes widen in realisation. Shit. I had totally forgotten about Jen. Alas, guilt gnaws in my stomach as I avoid his attentive gaze.

"What's wrong, princess?" He asks.

I bite my bottom lip hard, still not looking at him. "I did." My voice barely above a whisper.

"You did what?"

Mustering courage, I look at him with rueful eyes. "I slept with someone,"

"Oh." His arms loosen around my figure.

"With a girl." I continue, searching for his eyes, and he looks genuinely surprised, but there are no traces of bitterness. "She's my best friend who attended the same private school as I did here." I begin to ramble. "It just happened when we were talking about our first kisses and boyfriends at her apartment. I guess we were drunk and intoxicated, and I couldn't lie about how lonely and vulnerable I felt just for a minute."

"Princess─"

"One thing led to another, we slept together." It feels like my chest is constricted, making it hard for me to breathe. "But I swear, we're only best friends and nothing more─"

Sunghoon's lips silence me, kissing me hard enough for me to melt in his arms and forget about whatever was on my mind. He pulls away slowly as I flutter my eyes open. Amusement flickers in his gaze. 

"I'm not mad."

My eyebrows furrow. "You're not? Are you sure?"

"I mean, I had no right to be mad because we weren't together at that point in time." He says before smiling lightly. "So, does this mean that you're not straight?"

"I don't think so, but I do find women attractive." I scratch my head, uncertain. "I don't know."

"It's okay if you don't know, princess." He caresses my cheek, and a boyish grin appears on his lips, shooting arrows into my heart. "But I can't say for sure that I'd be willing to share you with another woman who wanted you. Sharing with the other guys is already overwhelming enough."

I chuckle softly. "Don't worry. My heart desires only the seven of you."

"Yeah? Truly?" His voice drops, rasping as he abruptly leans his face closer to mine, his breath hitting my cheek while his lips graze ghostly across my skin. "You can't take back your words, princess."

"Sunghoon." I feel him nipping at my earlobe playfully. "No funny business."

"I don't care." I don't even realise he has me pinned against the counter, his hands are firmly on my hips. "We've been apart for too long, princess." His sultry voice in my ear sends my heart racing. "Besides, you're at my place. So my place, my rules."

Just as he is about to kiss me, the doorbell chimes, startling me as I jolt, while Sunghoon appears pissed as he clenches his jaw. I can't help but laugh, earning myself a glare from him.

"Go get it, Hoon." I wipe away an imaginary tear, still laughing while he shoots me a scowl before trudging away to the main door. I glance to the side, spotting some candies in a small bowl before I reach out to grab one. Just before I can open it, a familiar voice startles me.

"Stel!" Riki greets me as he enters the kitchen, not giving me time to react when he abruptly latches his arms around my frame.

I reciprocate the hug and close my eyes briefly to inhale his nice cologne as I bury my head into his chest. My action must've amused him, as his chest is vibrating with deep chuckles leaving his lips, awakening butterflies in my tummy. As I lift my head up, my eyes immediately meet his.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, his lips forming a grin.

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Do you not want me to be here?"

"Of course I do. In fact, I'm glad you're here." He presses a kiss on my forehead before hugging me tight with my head in his chest. "By the way, it's my turn to spend time with you tomorrow."

"Oh?" Intrigued, I settle my gaze on his face once more. "Are you guys taking turns to spend time with me now?" I ask with a chuckle.

Riki heaves a sigh. "The cons of sharing a girlfriend." The instant the word 'girlfriend' flies out of his mouth, he smacks his lips shut while his eyes go wide, as though he wasn't meant to say it.

I hum lazily as I drape my arms around his neck, ignoring the fact that my craning neck is beginning to hurt. "So I'm your girlfriend now?"

Riki visibly gulps before giving a nervous smile. "Uh─Oh look! I have to help Jay and Sunoo set up the table!" I feel his arms around my waist loosen before he completely removes them and immediately runs away from me.

Concurrently, Sunghoon enters the kitchen, staring at Riki with a quizzical look before he settles his gaze on me. "What's gotten into him?

"I don't know." I frown. "Are they all here?"

"Nah. Only Jay, Sunoo, and Riks. I forgot that they wanted to have supper at my place tonight," Sunghoon tells me, leaning sideways against the entry wall with his hands tucked in his pockets. "Which also means that you should stay a little longer." He adds with a grin.

"Fine." I cave in before starting to make my way out of the kitchen, but just as I walk past him, he stops me with his hand, grabbing mine.

"Stella, wait."

I look at him expectantly with an eyebrow arched, and to my surprise, his face has a tinge of nervousness despite his unwavering eye contact with me.

"I know that it's way too late to ask," He releases a shaky breath. "And I should've done this sooner, but I couldn't find the right timing, and even now, I don't even know if the timing is right."

"Sunghoon." I grab his other hand, squeezing it tenderly. "Slow down. Why are you─"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

My breath catches in my throat while my heart stops beating momentarily. It feels like our surroundings are in a blur, and the world stops spinning. The old Hwang Stella would never have thought that her rival-slash-enemy since elementary school would be saying those words to her.

Sunghoon, however, looks crestfallen at my silence, but he doesn't know that I'm greatly stunned. Disappointment resides in his gaze. "It's fine if you─"

"Shut up." I say whatever is on my mind. The astonishment on my face is soon replaced by a wide, genuinely elated smile. "Shut up!"

Sunghoon blinks his eyes, clearly taken aback by my odd passive-aggressive enthusiasm. "But I'm not saying anything."

"Park Sunghoon, you─" It is as if I don't have the ability to express my felicity and act upon whatever my body and mind are telling me. I look at him once more before breaking into a fit of laughter and surprising him as I lunge towards him for a hug.

"Woah!" He catches me, chuckling down at me. "So what's your answer, princess?"

"Yes." My voice is muffled against his chest, overwhelmed by this happiness.

"Yes?"

"Yes, you idiot!" I exclaim, pulling away from his chest and looking at him in his glistening eyes. "I'm yours, Park Sunghoon."

"Damn right, you're mine." He leans down to kiss me squarely on the lips while I smile into the kiss. He pulls away to resume hugging me with fervour.

"This is romantic and all, but are we going to devour these pizzas already or what?" Sunoo's snarky yet playful remark draws our attention as we look at them, who are standing just a few feet away from us.

"Congratulations for being the first one to propose to her." Jay tells Sunghoon with a smirk.

Sunoo playfully narrows his eyes at Sunghoon. "You may be the first, but I'll let you know that my proposal will be more romantic than yours."

Sunghoon scoffs, still holding me close with his arms, almost encasing me and obstructing my view of the three of them. "Doesn't matter. At least I'm the first."

"Ah, I should've proposed first earlier." Riki mumbles to himself, but I can hear him, which brings a small smile to my face.

"Let's just eat." I announce with a chuckle before we make our way to the dining area. Throughout the night, I don't think I have ever smiled or laughed that much, while my heart warms at the fact that I'm back with them, albeit incomplete without the rest.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

When Riki told me that today would be the day that we spend time together, I never expected for him to bring me out to a boutique that sells the finest premium tuxedos, and it's not just the two of us.

"How do I look?" Jungwon immediately obstructs my view of Sunoo and Riki as he stands in front of me, making me blink my unfocused eyes before looking at him. Once I do, my mouth agape.

I mean, I've seen him in tuxedos before, but right now, he looks beyond charming. Maybe it's to do with the fact that he looks way more mature now. The dark tuxedo fits him just right, and with each movement he makes, I can discern the muscles beneath the material flexing.

Heat weaves across my cheeks as soon as his eyes meet mine. He cocks an eyebrow at me, probably noticing my loud silence. "Do I look good or nah?"

I clear my throat in an awkward manner before mustering a weak smile. "You do look good, Jungwon."

Jungwon narrows his eyes at me. "Really? I'm not convinced."

A sigh leaves my lips before I rise from my seat and step forward, instinctively tying and adjusting the black tie drape around his neck. It appears my bold action seems to surprise him, but I ignore the way he's looking at me while my gaze is fixed intently on his tie.

"There." With the final touch, I give him a smile and pat him on the chest. "Trust me. You'll have heads turn."

"I don't want just anyone else to look at me." Jungwon murmurs, boring his eyes into mine. "As long as you think that I look good, then that's all that matters."

My cheeks feel warm, while my lips are threatening to break into a smile. "You look really good." I compliment him rather bashfully, and instantly, his once serious face breaks into a radiant smile, his dimple making its appearance on his cheek.

"Hey, look at this guy." Sunoo appears next to Jungwon, slinging his arm around the latter. "You sneaky brat. I asked you for help, but you sneaked away to go to Stella instead."

"Thankfully, I was there." Riki says, standing on the other side next to Jungwon while he rolls his eyes and continues to speak to both of them while I am left speechless by the handsome sight of the three of them dressed impeccably in tuxedos.

It looks like my silence is loud for Sunoo as he finally turns his head to face me with a charming grin that shoots arrows into my heart. "What do you think, darling?"

Alas, I have all their attention. I bite the inner flesh of my cheek, butterflies swarming wildly around in my tummy upon their handsome gazes on me. "I think you guys look really handsome." I smile weakly.

"I love it when you compliment us." Sunoo steps forward to grab my cold hand in his, and instantly, his smile drops. "Your hand is so cold. Are you alright?" Sunoo's question alarms Jungwon and Riki, as their faces drop.

"I'm fine, Sunoo. I guess the air conditioner here is too cold for me." I assure him with a small smile before opting to change the subject. "Anyway, you guys haven't told me about the reason why you're buying tuxedos." I raise my eyebrow at them. "I'm one of your managers, so I know what your schedules are, so are you guys going to any external special events?"

"We've been invited to a wedding. Sunghoon's brother, to be exact." Riki informs me, prompting my mouth to form the shape of 'o'. "Do you want to come with us? The wedding's this Saturday."

"Ah, I don't want to be an intruder by coming to a stranger's wedding uninvited." I say sheepishly. "Besides, I'm attending a wedding on this coming Saturday too."

"Whose wedding?" Jungwon asks, curious.

"Yeji's." The thought of my older sister brings a smile to my face. "I wish all of you could come with me, and you might meet my older brother and biological father."

"Wait, they're here?" Riki's eyes go wide as a socket. "Damn. We surely did miss out on a lot."

And so, I run down the details, trying my best to shorten them since we've been in the boutique for way too long and we don't want to get chased out of the establishment.

"Well, I'm glad that you've finally reunited with your real family." Jungwon smiles warmly at me, to which I reciprocate. "I would like to meet Hyunjin Hyung again."

"What is he like?" Sunoo asks, but is interrupted by Riki.

"As much as I, too, would like to know, we should quickly purchase our tuxedos." Riki shoots them a lazy grin. "Plus, today's supposed to be my date with Stella."

Instead of being upset, I am surprised to see how understanding Sunoo and Jungwon are as they nod their heads before they disperse, probably changing back into their clothes and leaving Riki with me.

Riki looks at me and wears a soft grin before stepping forward to embrace me in a hug. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I ask, chuckling as I reciprocate the hug. There's something about Riki and his hugs. It makes you never want to let go.

"Because I promised that I'd bring you out on a date, but I had forgotten about my plans with them to buy our tuxedo for the wedding." He heaves a sigh before pressing a long kiss on my crown. He cups my cheeks, tilting my head up. "I promise that right after this, it'll just be you and me, Stel."

In return, I beam with a smile while my eyes form the shape of a crescent. "I don't doubt it."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Riki's hand is intertwined with mine, fitting each other like a perfect puzzle and causing me to feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside due to how secure I feel. We are presently at the Central Park, which we took on his temporary motorbike to get here, and we had just finished dining for lunch.

Earlier, an hour or so ago, Sunoo offered to help bring back Riki's purchased tuxedos since there was no storage box on his motorcycle. Despite how Jungwon and Sunoo seem to respect that today was Riki's turn to have me all to himself, they still displayed their blatant affection for me and even earned themselves glares from Riki. It is rather amusing to see how apparent Riki's jealousy is.

"Why are you laughing?" Riki stops in his tracks, prompting me to stop as well. I look at him with the smile still persisting on my lips before breaking into fits of chuckles, which brings him a frown on his striking features. "Stel."

"Alright, fine." I recover myself. "It's just that I've never seen you being so jealous the way you were earlier when Jungwon and Sunoo were hogging me."

Riki doesn't lift a smile, his face remaining serious while his grip tightens on my hand. "I'm actually a very jealous person." He tells me, and it takes me some time to realise how deep his voice is compared to four years ago. I catch the way his eyes flicker at my neck, making me self-conscious and aware that no amount of concealer could hide these hickeys by Sunghoon. He returns his gaze to mine. "I'm just good at hiding it."

"Until earlier, I saw you glaring at them." I state, grinning. "It looks like you're not as good as you thought you were."

"How could I not be jealous when you're supposed to be mine for today?" Riki startles me when his arm slithers its way around my waist, pulling me closer while my palms rest on his solid chest.

My breath catches in my throat as his handsome gaze pins me in. I am suddenly reminded of Riki being shorter and more adorable when he was young, when he used to ignore me as though he were intimidated by me. Now, he's way taller, and he emits an aura of maturity. Being in his arms right now makes me feel safe and warm.

The wind by the park is in my hair as it flows, and the longer our eye contact persists, the more the butterflies in my stomach intensify. I've never felt this way around Riki before. I mean, sure, I've acknowledged that I loved him more than just a friend before, but right now, it feels different. There's something raw and intimate in this moment with him.

"Just for today?" I ask teasingly with a grin, despite the butterflies in my tummy that make me want to throw up.

Eventually, a soft smirk unfurls on his lips, and he grabs my hand tenderly before raising it to place a gentle kiss on my knuckles. His gesture of affection alone is enough to make my heart beat harder. He doesn't stop there, still kissing my hand until his lips touch my palm.

"Stella." My name sounds perfect from his mouth. He gazes at me deeply, his arm around my waist tightening. "There is no denying that I've always been whipped and head over heels for you." He starts off. "Even back then, when you were uncertain about your feelings for me, I didn't give up the love I've always harboured for you."

My heart swells with love. "Riki." I utter his name with my lips quivering, a tad emotional over this.

A soft smile on his lips is enough to make me crumble, but I hold myself together. "I'm so, so sorry for what happened four years ago. I made a mistake by choosing racing over you." His eyes turn crestfallen. "If I hadn't chosen racing, then maybe things might turn out differently, but I know that there is no point in lamenting what's done."

"It's okay, Riki." I cup his cheeks. "I've already forgiven you."

He places his hand on top of mine, leaning into my touch while his eyes hold so much love for me. "Your kind disposition was what made me fall for you, and even now, so," He pauses, his eyes glistening. "Hwang Stella, will you be mine─"

"Yes." I cut him off, but he shakes his head while chuckles leave his lips at my eagerness.

"─forever?" He continues.

"Until my last breath." I say softly, and that is all it takes for him to seal me into a kiss that is filled with thousands of emotions. When a tear falls to my cheek from his eye, I smile against his lips and pull him closer, allowing him to savour this moment for as long as he wants.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

With his arm around my shoulder as he side-hugs me closer and my head resting on his chest, our gazes are fixed on the city across the vast river while the skies are painted in dusk. Presently, we are situated in a park near the Brooklyn Bridge. After his confession, he decided to drive me around, and dare I say that I've missed the feeling of riding a bike.

We've been sitting here on the ground with a small picnic mat that fits us just right, and we've been catching up on each other's lives. We were in our own little world until we finally realised that we had been here for an hour or so. Least to say that I'm happy for him and his life goals.

"Come to think of it. Why didn't you continue racing?" Riki's question makes my content smile falter. "I even heard that there's legal drag racing here in NYC, so why didn't you? You were an amazing racer."

I sigh, glancing down with my finger fiddling the hems of his top. "I guess after the incident at the Seoul Grand Prix, I was traumatised, especially when Jaeyun got into a coma after he tried to help me." As I recall, my eyes glisten. "Racing used to be something that was more than just a hobby to me, and my life revolved around it. But even though I've missed racing, I don't think I can go back to it."

"I get it." Riki says softly. "You've decided to close that chapter of your life and start anew. I'm proud of you, Stel."

I tilt my head up to look at him without moving my head away from his chest. "Thank you, Riki. It means a lot to me." I smile, but something comes to mind. "I realised that you've never had any endearments for me, unlike the rest."

"I prefer calling you just by your name." He gives me a boyish grin and ruffles my hair. "Besides, your name is already beautiful. Stella. A beautiful, shining star who lights up my dark world."

I scrunch my nose, feigning disgust. "Since when did you decide to become so cheesy?"

"Since I've fallen deeply in love with you." He startles me when he pulls me down with him, resulting in me landing acutely on top of him while chuckles are elicited from me.

With the back of my head resting on his arm and my leg draped over his, I look at him, appreciating his beauty. Despite how he is dressed akin to a stereotypical bad boy, in all black, including a leather jacket, his disposition is nothing like one. My heart flutters as he turns his head to look at me, prompting me to stop twiddling his necklace.

"Why are you blushing?" He asks, raising his eyebrow at me in an oddly attractive way.

"I'm not." I release his necklace and pat my cheek, hating how it feels warm. "I'm probably just cold."

"Come here." He engulfs me in a hug, forcing me to bury my face in his chest, and I gladly do so while inhaling his heavenly cologne. It feels like I'm being swallowed just by his arms and legs alone. "Feel better?"

"No." I look up at him with a cheeky grin, to which his eyes soften. "I think I would feel better if you kissed me instead."

"Just say that you want to kiss me, Stel." He smirks.

My lips form into a small pout, to which his eyes glance down. "Kiss me?"

"As you wish, my lady."

With his hand cradling the cusp of my jaw, he leans down and presses his lips gently on mine. One thing about him is that he kisses me as though I might break, not that I'm complaining. He kisses me longer than I thought before he pulls away, leaving me to gasp for air. He doesn't stop there, and instead, pepper kisses all over my face, bringing giggles out of me due to how ticklish they feel.

"We should really head back." I say in between the giggles. A squeal emits from me the moment he dips his head down to press a kiss on my neck while his hand grips firmly on my waist. "Riki!"

"I say we head back whenever I want." He rasps against my neck, nipping playfully at my skin. "Besides, I've been apart from you for too long, my lady."

"My lady?" I snort.

"Yes." He presses a deep kiss on my cheek before staring deeply into my eyes. "You're my only lady, my queen."

"I guess the charming knight has risen to become the prince consort, then." I jest, acting as though I'm a royal from the mediaeval era.

He smirks. "Of course. How else will I achieve winning your majesty's heart?"

I peck him on the nose. "You didn't have to, because I would've appointed you as my prince consort even before you decided to court me."

Riki rolls his eyes. "And you said I'm the cheesy one."

I grin gleefully. "That's what happens when people are in love, right?"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The air in the car feels cold, and the silence is oddly comfortable with his hand holding mine on top of his thigh while his other hand grips on the steering clutch, driving us to the destination he intends to bring me on a date.

I take a glance at Jungwon, admiring how charming he looks in a black button-down blouse that looks compressed on his body with the sleeves pulled back to his elbows, allowing my eyes to appreciate the sight of his veins that look attractive on his forearms and hands. His raven hair falls over his forehead, almost obscuring his eyebrows.

I can't believe that this man is my childhood best friend, and I'm going on a date with him.

Jungwon must've noticed my stare on his countenance, given the fact that he is smirking, but he doesn't look away from the road. "You should take a picture if you plan on staring longer."

I open my mouth to retort, but pauses as I contemplate his suggestion. After I make up my mind, I shrug my shoulders and pull out my phone from my purse before snapping a quick picture of him. He looks taken aback as he stares at me briefly.

"I didn't mean literally." He says, chuckling, while I busily use the picture to change my lock screen wallpaper. He must've peeked at my phone. "The others are going to be so jealous when they see your lock screen."

"Maybe." I grin. "But today is all about you."

"That's right." With my hand held firmly yet tenderly in his hand, he raises it to plant a kiss on my knuckles without tearing his gaze off the road. "I have you all to myself today and many more days to come."

The butterflies in my stomach intensify while my cheeks feel warmer at his charming gesture and how he does it so effortlessly without any consideration for my racing heart.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jungwon brought me to a cinema for our first destination. He had been wanting to watch this action movie, which I ended up enjoying, but most of all, I enjoyed how he didn't let go of my hand throughout the entire time. Then we went for lunch at a famous restaurant that had tonnes of excellent reviews. We ate, talked, and even laughed as we reminisced about our adolescent years.

Now, we are presently at a mini-fair with a fairly large crowd of people, with our fingers intertwined, while I look around in awe at how pretty the ambience of the festival's lights is under the night. The squealing and cheering sounds from the crowd are discernible, as are the mini-rides the organisation has set up.

"What do you want to do first?" Jungwon asks, drawing my attention back to him.

"Um.." I look around with my lips pursed before my gaze finally lands on the photo booth machines under the tents, and thankfully, there are no queues. I look back at Jungwon with a grin. "Let's go there!"

I don't give him time to respond as I drag him along with me. I've always wanted to take pictures at the carnival photo booths and even had a wish list to go to if I ever had a lover. As soon as we enter, Jungwon inserts a five-dollar note into the machine.

"Hurry, Won!" I say as the screen is counting down from ten. Finally, the camera takes our first shot with just us smiling with my arm around his. For the next shot, I poke his cheek, which he entertains as he purses his lips, feigning annoyance. We continue to take silly shots with each other, our chuckles emitting in the limited space of the photo booth machine.

"Okay, last shot." I turn to look at him with a smile, but my heart lurches in my chest at the moment he cups my cheeks and leans down to press his lips on mine, prompting me to flutter my eyes closed. In an instant, the camera snaps one last shot, but he doesn't pull away.

"Jungwon." I murmur against his lips, attempting to pull back, but he swallows my gasp at the moment he abruptly pulls me close to his body with his arm around my waist. I can't help but melt in his arms and kisses, not caring about anything else.

He backs me up until he has me trapped in between him and the wall behind me. His lips move against mine slowly yet passionately, making me feel like there's a whole damn zoo in my tummy. I gasp once more when he tucks my bottom lip between his teeth, nipping it playfully before resuming kissing me, this time in a sense of urgency, as though he had been dying to do that.

After what feels like eternity, he pulls away, panting lightly as he leans his forehead against mine. "Is it cherry?" He asks in between pants.

"Huh?" I look at him confusedly.

"Your lips, Bubs." His thumb brushes gently on my bottom lip. "Your lips taste like cherry."

"Yeah, it's cherry." I manage to utter, smacking my swollen lips together before mustering a smile. "Do you like cherry?"

"Nah." He chuckles breathily, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "But I guess I'll have to get used to liking it from now on."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

We make out like two hormonal teenagers in his car, with my thighs spread and settled at the sides of his as I sit on top of his lap. The sound of our lips smacking resonates in his car, while the background music sounds faint since he had the volume lowered. One of his hands is holding me at the side of my waist while the other rests leisurely on my bare thigh as my dress has been pulled up just slightly.

How did we even escalate from spending time at the mini-carnival fair, where we had genuine fun, to this? I mean, not that I'm complaining.

A shiver runs down my spine upon his touch on my skin, as does the way he is drawing circles on my thigh. Needing air, I pull away from him, and he attempts to chase me with his lips, but I place my finger against his moist lips, the aftermath of our session.

"You've got to slow down." I tell him with breathy chuckles. "It's not like I'm going anywhere."

"I can't help it." He slowly wraps both of his arms around my waist while his eyes are looking at me like a cat waiting for its treats. "You taste so good, and you feel addictive."

"Oh, do I, now?" I hum lazily as I lean forward to play with the collar of his blouse.

"Yeah. So, so good." He rasps, his dark gaze pinning me in. "Can I kiss you again, please?"

"But my lips need a break." A pout forms on my lips. "See how swollen they are?"

His eyes soften before he heaves a sigh. "Fine. This will do." With his hand holding my back firmly in place, he leans forward and dips his head into my neck. Testing waters, he places a gentle kiss on a specific spot that has me shivering before doing it again.

"You smell good too." He murmurs against my skin. "Everything about you is addictive, Bubs."

I merely hum in response as I tread my fingers lightly through his soft, silky hair, allowing him to do whatever he wants. The intimacy with him holding me and kissing my neck sends a wave of blush to my cheeks as they heat up.

"Wait, shit." Jungwon halts, cussing lowly, before pulling away. A tinge of frustration is written across his face, which brings a frown to my lips. "I got too carried away to the point where I forgot about something important."

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Which is?"

He tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, momentarily looking away from my curious gaze. I allow him to take his time while my fingers are still treading lightly at the back of his hair in an attempt to soothe him.

A sigh leaves his lips before finally returning his gaze to mine. "You're my first love, Stella, and even back then, I knew that I didn't want anyone else to be in my future except you." He says softly, his hand reaching up to caress my cheek tenderly.

"You've seen the worst and the best of me. Even though you're my best friend, I found a lover in you. I didn't want to marry anyone who wasn't you. It's the reason why I fought hard against my father, who dictated my life choices, including whom I married." He continues with a soft smile. I remain silent, all the while my heart is pounding hard against my chest.

"We've been apart for too long, but my heart still wants you even after all this time. The only woman I ever want is you." He leans forward to bump his nose against mine, chucking lightly. "So, Hwang Stella, can I be your boyfriend?"

My heart nearly combusts while the zoo in my tummy goes wild. His eyes search for mine, but they are glistening with unbridled joy. "Yes." I answer with a gleeful smile before I lean in to kiss him hard. "A million times yes, Yang Jungwon."

"Thank God." He sighs into the kiss, slowly pulling away. "I can't imagine how hard I needed to work to win your heart if you said no. But then again, you'd eventually be mine, one way or another."

I shoot him a playful scowl. "Feeling confident, are we now?"

"What can I say?" He shrugs his shoulders, appearing smug. "Confidence is the key."

I roll my eyes, but nonetheless, a smile touches my lips. "So, boyfriend." Playfully, my finger grazes on his chest, moving upward slowly. "Are we still continuing where we left off, or is it time that you take me home?"

A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he grabs my finger, stopping my movement before he raises it to his lips and kisses the tip. "How about we continue at your place instead, girlfriend?"

PREV CHAP | NEXT CHAP

[hallmarkchrismasmovie]

so ive been having a flare up for 3 whole weeks now, symptoms include:

intense upper abdominal pain after eating

vomiting most solids*

intense back pain at the same height as the stomach pain but at different times

headaches

fevers

dizziness

fatigue

weight loss

*this has lessened since i went to the hospital a week ago and they gave me a new round of pantaparazole (which ive been on before because i have a gerd diagnosis)

ive had flare ups before with similar symptoms but this level of vomiting is new and its never gone on this long. the hospital confirmed its nothing viral and nothing super visible like a stomach bleed or something with my kidneys. does this seem familiar to anyone?

i should note that my doctor is adament its not crohns or colitis because of the stool tests shes done. ive had a colonoscopy, a gastroscopy, and a ct and the only thing they found was enlarged lymph nodes in my large intestine and acid reflux burns in my esophagus.

[brostateexam]

Let's talk about stage 3 colon cancer.

That's what my BiL has. He's been feeling kinda bleugh for the last few months -- diarrhea, cramping, bloating. He had an abdominal CT that showed a kind of mass in his upper GI tract, so they did a colonoscopy to see what was going on in there.

The results were not awful but not great.

On the plus side, the cancer hasn't spread to other organs (ie not Stage 4) which is super important when you have any cancer in your abdomen because there's a lot of organs nearby. They removed the tumor on Tuesday and as of today he's already walking around and recovering at home, albeit in a greatly diminished sense compared to someone who didn't just have laparoscopic surgery on their abdomen. As someone who has had that: your core strength is just gone after that happens, and that's quite disconcerting. Also, they put the IV in his hand and it sounds like he's having a non-dangerous but painful complication where his hand hurts a lot and gripping stuff is agonizing.

As for the bad stuff, beyond the fact that it's cancer so it's inherently not rainbows and ice cream sundaes, it was a really, really big tumor, and the surgeon said he'll likely need chemo afterward, too, so the recovery process is gonna be months, and it's really going to suck.

My personal feelings on all of this are honestly complicated by the fact that I do not care for my BiL at all. He's a bad husband to my sister and a terrible father to my niece and nephew. He is constantly whining about what a terrible life he has -- and prior to this cancer diagnosis, he really didn't have much to whine about. He lives a middle-class suburban existence in a nice house with two cars and two kids. He has enough money to buy himself a new guitar to noodle around with every six months or some other toy like that, he works from home, his wife is the primary breadwinner at this point and also the primary caretaker of their kids, housecleaner, and cook.

And still, constant negativity, dissatisfaction, and whining.

I'm about 95% sure that they're heading for divorce. My sister has said that she's not going to try to leave him until after he's done chemo and the addition in the house is complete, whichever happens last, but I think in a few years time he won't be an aggrieved hovering presence during the holidays and frankly that would be lovely. Watching him yell at the kids makes me want to throttle him, and when I'm around I know he's behaving better than he would otherwise so I can only imagine what happens normally.

Anyway, I do hope he gets better. I don't want him dead. I just kind of want him gone.

[mandana-the-service-pup]

I had my GI appointment today.

He doesn’t think the throbbing aching chest/upper abdominal pain that flares up with activity is GI related. Neither do I but doctors love to make gastroparesis the scapegoat.

He also doesn’t think my nausea is GI related which really surprised me. He said you would expect GI related nausea to be more episodic and flare up with food related events. Not the constant state of nausea that I’m in that flares up with even the slightest movement or activity. He wasn’t willing to say what could be causing it if not GI but there are plenty of things like severe pain, cardiac problems, dysautonomia, medication side effects etc that could cause nausea. So idk but it’s new info to work with so that’s good.

He thinks my handfuls of ibuprofen three times a day is probably causing my stomach aches. Which…like…duh. I already know that but that’s why we’re going the methotrexate route instead. I’m scheduled for an endoscopy to check for ulcers the day after I’m scheduled for my chest CT + calcium score. If there’s damage he’s going to give me a Rx that’s supposed to help protect against the damage associated with NSAIDs

TMI warning. He thinks my lack of appetite is being exacerbated by my chronic pain and constipation but he agrees that most laxatives would make me more sick. He wants me to try a specific OTC medication called Docusate.

He was kind and understanding. He accepted that I have bad brain fog and gave me as much time as I needed to work through the conversation. He acknowledged that I probably knew a lot of this stuff already and that my medical issues are complicated. He understood how frustrating it was that everyone keeps pushing the GI route when it’s so obviously not the cause. He answered all my questions, sometimes multiple times and never labeled me as an anxious patient for being concerned about my health. I really appreciated having a good experience with a doctor. It’s been a while.

[kyluxtrashpit]

So. Stomach update. As I haven’t given one here in a while lmao

After the first month of the medication (plus an ultrasound that came back normal), the reflux problems came right back so I went to another doc. He said okay, here’s more pills, take them twice a day, and we’ll also do a barium swallow x-ray. Also apparently I was being way too careful with food, so the bright side is I can eat most things again (yay) but the downside is I had to cut caffeine completely 100%. And it’s awful

Anyway. I had the barium thing yesterday (it was also awful lmao) and doc called me today with results and. Everything is normal? No signs of inflammation, polyps, GERD, any reflux at all, or an ulcer. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary

Which like. That sounds great. But while I’m not having the reflux or pain right now I still feel like I’m burping more than usual? And that was one of my symptoms. So he said to finish the pills, taking the last week of them once a day instead of twice, and then see how it goes. And never take NSAIDs again

I hope this just means that I did have an ulcer and maybe it’s just in the final stages of healing and couldn’t be seen, so once I finish the pills it will definitely be gone and I will never have this issue again. But I’m also worried cause like. If my entire upper GI and all my abdominal organs are normal and I never did have an ulcer and there’s no signs of anything else being wrong. Then what the fuck is it? Will it go away? Or is this just my life now? Cause while I’m glad I can eat mostly freely again, ZERO caffeine is just not sustainable

Idk. Maybe I’m getting worked up over nothing and it will be completely gone in ~3 weeks when I finish the pills. I really really hope so. I’m just also really worried that it will come back again and then wtf do I do cause I can’t do this forever and if they can’t find anything wrong with me, then how they hell do I fix it?

[lokavisi]

This vent turned Loki Appreciation Post™️ got rather lengthy, so I'm gonna pop it under a line so it doesn't take up too much space on your feed. But I do appreciate it if you read it. I need some good vibes...

I don't really talk much about my personal life on this blog, but I've been having a Week™️. Well, maybe Two Weeks™️. Two weeks ago, my wife and I had the beginning stages of a cold and accidentally passed to 3/4 other people in our TTRPG group. We got over the cold, and last Monday night/Tuesday morning, we were in the ER because my wife was having such intense upper abdominal pain. She seems to experience acid reflux in an atypical way. The meds they gave her have been helping, so that seems to be what it was, but now she's getting a sore throat again. We went to the clinic today. She got a strep, flu, and COVID test, which all came back negative, so the person said she likely picked up a virus while at the ER. (Even though we were both masked the entire time, there is still always a possibility.) Now I can't tell if I'm getting sick, too, or if I'm just stressed out of my mind. I've been taking care of her for the majority of this past week and haven't really been able to take care of myself in the ways that I need to. On the few days she was feeling ok, I went to some overstimulating events that I don't feel like I fully recovered from, either. I've been holding back a full breakdown all day, but short periodic cries have helped relieve some tension.

And here's where I'll tie it in to Loki: last night, I decided to do some journeywork since I haven't in a good while. I thought it might also be some good self-care time to visit the little home space I've made with Loki and his family. The thing is, Atlas was the one to great me as soon as I entered trance. In chatting with him a little, it was obvious that Loki called on him to really drive home the "you don't have to carry/aren't carrying the whole world on your shoulders" message. After this realization, it took me a second to really lock onto Loki's energy so I could talk with them about it. When I finally did, they showed me all these key stepping stones of progress in my journeying practice, especially finding and traveling to different locations. So they asked, "Why do you want to come to this place you spend so much time in?" Referring to our little home space. I broke down, and when I heard myself speak, it was like I was hearing a child. I was saying I just "wanted to see daddy" (i.e. Loki) and I didn't like that every task I picked up felt like a whole world for me to carry. Then I started apologizing to nearly every major deity in the Norse pantheon for not doing any of the work we've spoken about doing together. Each time I named one, they appeared before us. I was bawling into Loki's chest as they held me, and I could feel the tears and snot dripping down my actual physical face, too. As I did, I shifted into a toddler. Loki wasn't just hugging me. He was holding me, my legs around his waist with his right arm under my butt to hold me up. He motioned to everyone around us, saying that they are all family and part of this home space. Like my inner circle. Then he referenced me going to other circles (i.e. learning about and working with deities or spirits from other pantheons and practices) as a way for me to learn. And that they will all still be here for me even when I venture out to "meet new people" and that some people I meet may even join us in our inner circle. Cue Apollo walking up to us, holding his arms out for me to go to him. Loki passed me over to him like a parent handing their kid off to a babysitter or family member. There were a few small things that happened after that, but I'm still so struck by that sense of family. I felt so much more relaxed crying into Dad's (Loki's) arms. I felt safe and loved, and I felt safe and supported even when I was handed off to Apollo.

I'm really holding on to the comfort of those moments right now as I still try to care for myself in this moment. I am slightly dreading the inevitable inner child work that this was also clearly alluding to, just because I know it will be a lot emotionally, but it clearly needs to be done, right? It feels like a lot to maintain my current practices and deity relationships AND explore new ones. That in and of itself feels like taking on the world, and that doesn't even include all of the mundane adulting shit I have to do every day. I've just been so overwhelmed and overstimulated this week. I need everything to just stop for a second. I need to not be needed for just a little while. I need to be held for just a little longer until every last ounce of tension gets released from my mind and body. I need to get 10-12 hours of sleep for the next few nights. Gods, give me strength and rest, please. 🙏