#use what empowers you! don’t use what doesn’t!

[toastybugguy]

not reading that entire long ass post of people conflating not liking the q slur with being a terf but just a friendly reminder that people are STILL called queer in a derogatory way in the modern day, I say that as someone who has a negative history with the world from growing up in the US South. use it, reclaim it, tattoo it on your forehead, don't tag it if you don't want to, but please don't spread misinformation and conflate those who disagree with you for unrelated reasons of being something as awful as a terf. people love to say "learn your queer history" without actually...knowing that the queer people in our history have always had differing views on the word. terfs also believe in destroying the patriarchy, but we don't conflate being a feminist to being a terf. nuance is the answer here: our enemies and our allies can sometimes share opinions, though they come from entirely different places. those places that they come from are the difference in whether we should consider those opinions or not. when non-terfs hate the word queer, in my experience, they were usually called that at some point.

People are absolutely allowed to not like the word queer. People are absolutely allowed to not want to use the word queer. People who don’t identify with it should be respected and validated, I believe that fully and I always will. If a word has been used against you and you don’t feel like you feel comfortable enough to reclaim it, that’s totally okay. I also am well aware of the word queer being used in a derogatory way even now.

I think the root point was simply that the argument “queer is not an inclusive word and therefore we should use alternatives” and “don’t say queer say LGBT”, plays into a larger narrative that serves to silence us altogether. And I think that in some way, we will always have differing opinions on every word used in and/or by our community, because we are not a monolith, and that’s okay. You can like or dislike the word queer, that’s okay.

The argument as I saw it was not “stop disliking the word queer or you’re a terf”, it was “you don’t have to like or use this word, but saying it shouldn’t be used perpetuates a hateful narrative”. There are points in that post that I have my own thoughts on, and I’d like it to be known that you can’t judge a person’s full opinion on something simply through a reblog. It’s a very, very complex conversation!

Also, it’s difficult for me to fully respond to something like this when it is preceded with a statement clarifying that you didn’t actually read the whole post, because I think if you had, you’d find that both your standpoint and that of the post are not actually in opposition. I empathize with your thoughts on this, sincerely. And I also believe that “people who don’t want to use the word queer should be respected” and “the word queer is part of our history and shouldn’t be erased” are things that can, and very much should, coexist.

[daloy-politsey]

“They’re trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?” She asked.

As soon as I heard the term ‘Constructive Discharge,’ I knew I’d never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.

“No. What does it mean?” I asked.

She explained.

“Constructive discharge is a fancy way of saying “being forced out.” It’s not good. And if you’re not a lawyer or in human resources, you’ll probably learn what it means when it’s happening to you.”

“Oh my God. I’ve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.” I thought.

You’ve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. We’ve all made choices to avoid it.

Constructive discharge defined

“We can’t fire you, but we’ll make you so miserable you’ll quit, and then we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”

Then there’s the textbook definition:

“A constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.”

Or as one person put it.

“I didn’t get handed a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.”

HR isn’t always the secret police.

Employees aren’t always victims of evil-doers.

However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, “We didn’t do anything wrong, YOU did,” power structure.

Constructive Discharge looks like this:

— Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and you’re excluded from emails and generally looped out of what’s going on.

— People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.

— Your emails don’t get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.

— Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.

— Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.

— Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.

— Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your “poor performance”

— Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.

— The words “Set up to fail” were practically invented to describe this scenario.

Constructive Discharge is illegal

It isn’t easy to prove you’re a target, and it’s even more challenging if you don’t even know constructive discharge is a real thing.

If you’ve ever experienced this and don’t fully understand what’s happening to you beyond knowing you’re in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. It’s not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.

Talk to anyone who’s ever been through it. They’ll tell you.

Knowing constructive discharge exists and how it’s used gives you power to predict what’s coming and to protect yourself.

Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.

You know what to expect. Having a sense of what’s coming next is enormously empowering. You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.

Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employer’s endgame.

Remember, they’re almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesn’t persuade you to quit.

If you’re getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.

You’re not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and it’s carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.

If they force you out, in addition to feeling horrible, you lose your paycheck, benefits health insurance, and possibly owe them money.

[dearest-tobio]

“out of us three, i never thought atsumu would get married first.”

miya osamu turns to face you, approaching him with two glasses in hand. he steals a second to admire you in the wisps of moonlight—you looked ethereal, always have been, but tonight most particularly. osamu rolls his eyes as he takes the glass from you, part disdain, part cheeky happiness for his brother.

“yep. never would’ve thought someone would want ta be with that idiot.”

you laugh, taking a sip of your drink. “give him some credit, ‘samu.”

it is but a nickname, one that you’ve called osamu since you were kids, but it still yields the power to soar his heart into the clouds. 

“‘tsumu’s always been a charmer,” you continue, “getting confessions left and right.”

“i remember that one time, that girl from another class? she mistook you for ‘tsumu and ran away after she gave you a bunch of snacks along with a sappy love letter.”

osamu snorts, recalling all the instances that he was mistaken for his twin. growing up, they had similar hairstyles and interests. it was no surprise that people had a hard time differentiating between them. 

maybe that was part of the reason why atsumu chose to dye his hair piss blonde as a first-year. of course osamu was roped into it, but he chose an unassuming grey finish instead. ma didn’t receive the change very well—she was angry for weeks—but osamu always thought it was worth it because of you. 

he still remembers the first time you saw him with grey hair, bubbling worry in anticipation to what you’ll say. you noticed atsumu’s new style first, mocking his ridiculous shade in front of the whole team. even kita-san cracked a smile as you hurled insult after insult, immune to atsumu’s whines about how it was fashionably empowering.

“so did ‘samu get his hair done t—oh.”

your eyes met osamu’s, and you float over to him across the hard vinyl floor. your hand reached out across the air to brush the strands on the side of his head. in that moment, osamu realises he’s never felt so raw, so exposed. logic snaps at him to get himself together, but your touch was intoxicating. what was he thinking?

“you look good, ‘samu.” your soft smile is ingrained instantly in his head, as well as the words that follow after: “grey suits you.”

osamu brings himself back to the present, with only you and the cool night air for company. the wedding party inside is still going strong, but out here is a world of its own. out here, it’s quiet, and out here it’s only the two of you.

“you know, ‘samu. i’ve always wondered why you didn’t date back in high school up ’til now. i betted on you tying the knot first.” 

all words seem to die in osamu’s throat—how can he explain that it’s you? it’s always been you? you, who stuck through all the late night cramming sessions. you, who came to each and every volleyball game. you, who stood by him at every hurdle that came at onigiri miya, until his onigiris were renowned all over hyogo.

he doesn’t want to imagine the day you text excitedly in the groupchat about someone you’ve met, the first date, and the second, and the third. he can’t place himself in that position, not now, not ever. but he keeps his secret to himself, for one more night. for the foreseeable future.

“i don’t know,” he replies. “guess i haven’t found that someone yet.”

masterlist

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi !!!! I’m sorry if this is bothering you and if so you can totally ignore this but…

I’ve been thinking about how Ghost would react to reader gradually pulling away from him because she gained some weight and is self conscious and ashamed and doesn’t want to be seen by him, so sculpted and beautiful… but of course he’s feeling low because he wants to be close to reader and so he asks and she finally explains it to him (ready to be broken up with…)…. And I’d love to read your take on it !

You can make it female or gender neauteal I don’t really care !!!! Thank you anyway ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Wildflowers Grow in Ruins

(Ghost x F!Reader, word count: 5 k)

Summary: Reader tries to break up with Ghost because she thinks she's not good enough for him.

Tags/warnings: FLUFF, soft sensual smut 🔞, hurt/comfort, light angst, Jealous!Ghost, Soft!Ghost, self-loathing & self-body shaming. Good girl talk/praise kink. Reader is female and wears a skirt for smut plot purposes.

A/N: I hope you like this take & I hope you don't mind that I tweaked this request just a little bit!) Also: JFC I'm wordy. The "I need to explain why they're fucking!" meme comes to mind every time I write anything.

Wars are exhausting. 

You know fighting for something can empower people. Fighting against something usually just depletes your strength.

But waging a war against yourself… 

Now that is pure hell. 

It started somewhere in your youth. You thought adulthood would take it away; that reason and tolerance would take it away. You were supposed to feel more confident in yourself, more positive about life. And for a moment, you thought you might just succeed.

But standing beside a god of war is no easy feat.

He came into your life like a walking myth, swept you away, and you only laughed as you went. It was fun at first. He was supposed to be your savior, the solution to all your problems. If a man like him found you attractive, perhaps it was the world that was crooked and not you.

But then you got soft: you started to gain pounds. Meanwhile, he became even more magnificent. It reminded you that it had all been just a dream.

Perhaps it was his eyes that seemed to worship you, that seemed to look past your every flaw. Perhaps it was the hands which never seemed to get enough of your skin. Whatever it was, it was too much. And at the same time, never enough.

The day has finally come to let him go.

You think yourself heroic. It's like it should be: it's only right that you finally release him to someone better than you.

But inside, the noble feelings twist and turn and curl around your throat and stuff your stomach full of ice - the kind they fill glasses of mojito with. The drink you'll always remember him by because he teased you about it: that you wanted an ice-cold summer drink even in the middle of winter.

Now you feel cold all over, and wish he could warm you like he used to. 

You would forsake all the mojitos of the world to keep him. You would renounce the whole drink if it came to that; if you could make him yours.

But he's not yours. He never was: he was just on loan to give you a taste of what it would be like to have a man like him. That taste should be more than enough for a lifetime. You should feel grateful.

So why is it so hard to let go?

The key on the front door turns, and your heart shoots up your throat: you're supposed to settle this thing once and for all. You're supposed to let go of him today. 

And still, when he arrives, you can't find the courage to say what you need to say. The words are stuck in your throat, but tears are not. He should already be a memory, but you find yourself suffocating on memories as you cry. You've learned to do even that in silence, like the rest of your suffering.

You take a few deep breaths, wipe the tears away, shove the rest of them down your throat – you save them for later, later, when he's far away and you can finally curl up and cry your heart out without no one there to look. Fucking later.

Good. 

Good.

Great.

You put your heaviest armor on. It protects weak and soft flesh because you can't meet him all bare. Then you step forward with the knowledge that you’re a thoroughly wounded guerrilla while he is a seasoned, well-rested veteran. The fight is nowhere near even, but it's ok. You are not meant to be in the presence of immortals anyway.

The man looks at you warily as you finally enter the room. That haunted look has followed you for some time now as the distance between you has grown. 

It should be easy, what is about to come, because he hasn't touched you in weeks. You haven't wanted him to.

Or you have… But it's not easy to have his hands on you when your body is only a vessel you hate. How can you even think about pleasure when all you think about is how it must feel for him to caress something as awful as this?

The man is a vision, and he settles for a peasant. It should be against the law, but it's not… so you figured a some time ago that you should simply find the strength and grace to do ii: do what's right.

"I need to talk to you." 

Your voice comes out neutral, and it makes you more confident, if only for a second or two.

He lifts his chin: already knows what's coming, because he's not stupid. You've been shutting down for weeks, and he hasn't done much about it. But when the thunder rolls in, he doesn't flee. Probably because he fears nothing.

"Go ahead then," he says, equally as neutral, equally as icy. Got his armor on, too. 

This should be easy…

It's really not, so you decide to rip the band-aid off in one yank.

"I think we should go separate ways."

The following inhale from across the room pierces the air like a bullet. You can hear his breaths gain depth and speed all the way to where you're standing.

"Ok."

It doesn't look or sound like he's ok. If anything, he looks like he's trying to process the sudden storm. 

"Ok…" His eyes are on the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. Then he starts to pace around the little kitchenette you've shared for almost six months, just before you started gaining weight.

He stops to look out the window, then turns to you, and the hurt in his stare comes through like a thousand needles pushing through skin.

"Is it because of my work?" 

"No."

"What is it then?"

Your breaths are getting out of hand, too. He looks like a lost, tired creature in an abandoned animal shelter for a moment, and it breaks your heart. It squeezes the organ inside a flaming fist until it shatters like it has never been nothing more than ice.

Your lip starts to tremble, and he notices, as per usual. Nothing escapes this man, except perhaps the true reason for your anguish.

"Hey. Hey."

He comes to you and hugs you like it's the only thing that matters: to comfort you when he sees you're about to cry, no matter how crushed he's feeling himself. The sudden warmth, the intimacy after weeks and weeks of pain is knee-buckling. 

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

His voice is soft, so soft… The tears rush forth now; there's no way of stopping them. What the hell can you even say to a question like that? That you wish he could grab a magic wand and turn you into someone gorgeous, the woman he deserves?

His embrace feels good, kind of. It also feels smothering because your self-hate makes you want to disappear from existence entirely. His eyes are equal to physical touch, a probing scan that sees every little flaw, not to talk about massive faults, the ones which make you feel like you're simply disgusting. His touch only reminds you how you must feel like to him: soft, too soft, weak.

And he must hate weakness.

"What do you need me to do? I'll do anything," he tries with a parched throat, then swallows. 

It's fucking horrible. This isn't going at all like you had imagined.

"It's not about you," you struggle out of his hold, and he lets you go with reluctance. You have to basically fight your way out of a bone and steel prison. Why would he even want to hold a pathetic woman who's on the brink of ugly crying on top of everything?

"What do you mean?"

He's slightly breathless – and restless as fuck. He's usually so calm; nothing can get to him, nothing can rattle the tower of raw strength. Now you've not only pierced some invisible armor; you can hear pieces of it falling on the floor.

"Have you found someone else?"

What the…

"No." You put as much weight on that word as you possibly can. To imagine that he thinks you are cheating… Fucking cheating on someone like him. "Jesus Christ…"

He takes a deep breath and sighs deeply, sighs out relief, perhaps. Then his razor-sharp stare fixes on you again, and you can see the fear turning into something akin to concern. You suspect you have to tell him the truth, otherwise he will dig it out of you. 

"I'm just…" 

Jesus, this is just humiliating. 

"I'm just not your type."

"What the hell are you talking about," he mutters, the impending fury giving way to momentary surprise. 

He gets intense sometimes. This time, the ferocity is born of barely concealed distress. He's broad and magnificent, even in despair. He’s just so fucking fine… The perfect man, someone you had never even imagined yourself with. Pulled down to the world of puny mortals, evidently stressing about losing one. 

Losing you.

"If you have someone new, you can just bloody well tell me."

"It's not that. You don't understand–" 

"Try me."

"I just…" A tear escapes down your face as you finally break for him. "I'm fat. Okay? And ugly. And–"

"Stop right there."

The look on his face is just… It's priceless, you suppose.

"Bloody fucking hell…" 

He looks at the floor, then runs his fingers through the short cut hair on top of his head. You've yanked those blonde strands more times than you can count, nearly every time he's been between your legs, and you miss it – you long for it, like fallen angels long for heaven. 

And if there was a time this man was rendered speechless, you would say you were witnessing that moment right now. His brows knit together, then he looks up at you again with blaring disbelief.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"This is the reason you wanna break up?"

Ugh.

"Yes?"

His voice grows rougher with every question until it resembles thunder, and you suspect this is the commanding tone his soldiers are used to hearing. 

But you're not: it's gravelly, harsh, and betrays the feeling of having been insulted. You feel even more devastated with yourself – it appears you can do nothing right.

"Where has this… idea even come to your head?"

"I don't know." 

"And you never thought to ask my opinion?"

"Would you please stop yelling," you whisper and blink back some putrid tears. His mouth is snapped shut, his head pulls back just a little as he realizes what he's done. 

"Sorry," he says with a half-whisper, and you catch the strain in his throat. You've never seen him cry, but now his voice is suddenly thin and frail. "I'm sorry."

He takes a step, then another, places fingertips on the counter as if to take the faintest support.

"Can I touch you?"

You don't really want him to do that, but you feel pity for the man. He's trying to find a way through this mess, and you want to help him.

"Yes," you whisper, and he immediately comes and takes you in his arms again. Hot tears disappear into his shirt, and you sniff a few times. He feels so good, so safe, even when you're about to lose him. His hold tightens around you, and the kitchen is silent; the whole world is silent. You don't know if you're being put to a grave or if you're in a deaf womb, waiting to be reborn.

"Now I don't know who's said this shite to you but ugly is the last fucking thing I'd call you," he declares above you. As if it was some bully whose fault it is that you were this way, a bully he could deal with with his fists or a gun. If only things were that easy…

"Have I said or done something? To make you feel this way?"

Then the blade is turned against himself. The man desperately searches for a culprit so he can deal with them.

"No," is the only thing you can say because it's true: he has never done a thing to make you feel like you weren't good enough; quite the contrary. But then again, he doesn't have to. It's enough that he exists and resembles a god.

"Then why do you think you're not my type?"

"Because you're so perfect," you hear yourself wail, no, cry into that shirt that smells of sweet safety and familiar musk – his scent, another thing you have missed like it's the only way to heaven.

"That for sure ain't true."

"But it is."

He seems to have the utmost difficulty in grasping what the issue here is. You can almost hear the wheels turning in his head with a rusty, laborious creak.

"Can't believe you wanna break up because of this," he finally says. You've chipped his pride, the ego that lives off of pleasing the ones he loves: the few chosen ones who he wants to give his whole life to. 

"To me, you're perfect," he then says, and you simply… You stop breathing. "You're like… my dream woman. Ever thought about that?"

It can't be true, even if you vehemently, desperately want it to be. You reach out to his words like they're precious food after years of famine. Like they're sun and spring rain after being buried in the cold, dark soil whole winter.

"No…?"

"Never occurred to you that I might find you fucking beautiful?"

"Stop," you whisper, because it's too much to take in. He sounds so serious, so sincere.

"No, I don't think I will."

He pulls back a little and cups your face. Brushes away a tear, looks at you with so much love that it physically hurts; you feel like it's a lance that slowly drives through your heart.

"How about I kiss every part I love about you?"

You let out a soft little whimper. Fuck, that you want him to… 

It would also be uncomfortable as hell. To try and let him love you and your body, which you have grown to loathe.

"It's gonna take all night, though. Wanna be as thorough as possible."

"Simon–"

"Love. I want you. Thought I'd made it pretty clear, but apparently I haven't. If you only knew how much–"

He sighs deeply. The man is frustrated with his shortcomings, thinks that this is all his fault. You cry a tear or two just for the sake of how absurd it all is. 

"I don't want you to go. I fucking love you. Everything about you."

For the second time this afternoon, your lower lip starts to tremble as if this was some stupid, romantic movie. He can be so soft when he wants to, more romantic than the soft-spoken gentlemen in Jane Austen's novels. It doesn't even require any effort: underneath the cynical surface, there's fiery emotion, so powerful and raw that it almost bleeds out of him. Fuck… Does he even know what he's doing to you?

"I love you too," you whisper back, and the warmth that starts to bloom in his eyes is an entire sun on its own. It's hope, and you believe him, almost believe him.

"Then I'd say it's a bloody bad idea to break up."

You chuckle while few more tears push through to the surface.

"Simon…" You sigh and look back up at him, your armor falling to the floor too. "I feel like a wreck."

You allow him to see the pain, all of it. His breath is sharp as it hits him, but he still doesn't waver.

"Then let me help you."

The arms around you gain more strength, and you're crushed against a chest made of power. He tries to turn shit to gold, and threatens to succeed. You allow yourself to soften in his hold. How good it feels to be supported – no, loved.

"You don't even let me touch you anymore."

It's a filed complaint, but also heart-rending, soul-wrenching longing. You have evaded him for weeks now – hell, this shit began months ago and has escalated gradually, stealthily, until the moments together were a rarity, the space between you was full of frost; and not the crispy, happy summer drink kind.

"I thought you'd found someone else. Could've found out if that was the case in minutes, but honestly, I didn't wanna know."

Oh my God…

Has he lived with a growing suspicion and dread all these months? 

That would explain why he has avoided you too…

He has allowed you to go to your supposed lover, has given you space to be alone and without too much attention. The man has shielded himself from pain. 

Jesus fucking Christ.

"I'm so sorry," you say with a strained little breath. "I swear it's nothing like that. I just… I feel like a mess."

"Never seen such a gorgeous mess." 

He speaks on your skin, the kiss on your forehead feels like an absolution. 

Then you notice it's not only his words which try to assure you. He's growing harder by the minute against your stomach, just from a simple hug. Just from being pressed against you like this, after weeks of dry, bitter longing.

"Miss your taste," he murmurs to your skin, his voice like sand wrapped in burning velvet. "The sounds you make when you want it hard."

Oh God–

"Miss your smile when we go to shower after."

"Hmh…"

"Don't wanna live without that smile."

You don't have to. 

God, you don't have to…

"How about we make a deal," he draws fingers down your chin, coaxing you to look up at him. His eyes are stripped from the cold distance that greeted you just moments ago: now they are filled with warmth that spreads to your chest and belly and bones. You drink him in like summertide.

"You come to me every time you feel bad and I'll make you feel good. Alright?"

"...Ok." 

He tilts his head a little to the side, not entirely satisfied with your shy little answer.

"Come on. Make me believe it."

"It's a deal," you say with more grit to it, even if you're nearly crying again, this time from relief.

"That's my girl."

Oh fuck…

He knows exactly what strings to pull, the good girl talk being one of the things that instantly makes your legs feel like jelly. 

And why does he always have to use that voice when he calls you a good girl or his girl, that sultry smoke that makes you want to swoon until he catches you and carries you to bed?

The man seems to be a mind reader as well, because he sweeps you off your feet and does exactly that: carries you to your bed which has mainly seen silent tears and painful sleep last months.

"Poor thing doesn't even know how lovely she is."

He sounds amused in the face of your darkness: sees it in full and still doesn't fear at all. He's ready to battle your demons for you, and you feel like shaking: from his touch and that voice, from the stress and loneliness that starts to release as he lays you down on the bed.

He looks so different from the man that has haunted this place for the past months, the complete opposite of the reserved soldier retreating into the shadows.

He moves to kiss you, and it's been – what? Weeks since your last kiss? And even that was only a quick peck, nothing like this… Wet, and desperate; a devouring. It makes you clench around nothingness, and you finally surrender. 

No one can fake such fervor.

You try to accept it: accept the fact that even if you hate yourself, he does not. For some reason, he adores you. His breaths hit your face hot and urgent, and he can't keep his hands to himself anymore. They wander over your waist and hips, they even risk to steal a feel of your breasts, and then he groans in your mouth.

"I've missed you. Fuck, I've missed you..."

You taste notes of burning leaves; tobacco, his only weakness. You fantasize on the thought that you might be another weakness, too.

"Remember when I fucked you in my office?"

"I've missed you too," you utter softly in between the kisses that threaten to turn into a sloppy mess. "So much..."

He smiles at that, and it makes you weak, even when lying down like this.

"Yeah…?"

"You were so loud I had to put a hand over your mouth."

His voice is thick as he laughs a short chuckle. Your inner walls clench again at the sound, you throb among the warm syrup surrounding you.

"Never seen you so wet. Almost dripped all over my gear."

"It's that stupid mask you wear," you hear yourself breathe like you've just been underwater. Feel yourself throb some more, feel a burning sensation in the nether areas from the scorched desert turning wet again. You want him so much that it actually hurts down there.

"Knew you'd like it. That's why I kept it on."

If this man keeps talking, your underwear is going to be utterly ruined. And of course he does; of course he continues to pour more love in your ear.

"Everyone looked at you like you were a queen," he grunts in your ear, sounding almost… pissed.

"Don't be ridiculous," you try to form sensible words. It's only a faint breath, really, but he huffs at your modesty. 

"You don't have eyes in the back of your head, love."

Wow… He is a bit pissed.

Had they checked your ass out when you visited him? 

It was the first and, what you thought, the last time you got to visit him at his workplace… but you never would have guessed the reason for him not asking you to visit again would be jealousy. 

"Don't worry. I put those fuckers in their place after you left." 

Whoa. 

Ok…

First, he had fucked you senseless in his office – a highly inappropriate move for a man in his position – then got jealous because some soldiers had checked you out as you left with his cum practically dripping from your cunt.

You put yourself in his shoes for a moment: he's had to live with thoughts of you running to some other man's arms when he's not home, and then watch you waltz around his workplace after making what was supposed to be the last effort to make him love you… When he has loved and adored you this whole time, has watched the sway of your ass with the rest of those home-deprived, horny soldiers, thinking you had fallen out of love and were on your way to go see some other guy.

Had he invited you there to try and win you back, too? By showing himself to you in all his puffed up, masculine glory? A desperate man in a skull mask, hoping to get love from you…

There's so many misunderstandings; they rip your throat. A sob escapes, and he stops his caress.

"Love… Tell me to stop if you–"

"No. No, I don't want you to stop." 

Your request comes out with such demand that he hesitates only a second or two. Then he moves on top of you and tugs your skirt up. You don't even have time to realize what is happening before he has worked himself out of his pants.

He's hard and heavy between your legs, and your eyes go wide as you realize he's not going to bother to take your briefs off. He just slides a hand under the skirt and draws the fabric aside, and the fat tip of him is pushed in the middle almost clumsily. It's hot, and slips down to your opening with ease.

Oh f–

"Been jerking off to you nearly every night at the base," he says just before he pushes himself in. 

"Uh–...."

Your thighs spread wide as he fills you slowly, inch after inch. The sound that leaves him is starved: a dry, painful sigh. He's been waiting for this for god knows how long, and you're just as hungry to take him in. He seems endless, the way he finally works himself fully inside, spreading you even wider as the thickening base of his cock reaches its end. 

"Thought you were getting railed by someone else while I only get to fuck my hand."

"Oh god…"

There's really nothing else to say as his balls press against you, heavy and taut. He's not going to last long.

"Yeah. Imagine that," he admits, breathless like you. 

You look at him with what must be the most helpless stare of longing in your eyes. Then he moves, and you want to grip him to keep him inside. The first thrusts are divine, they're pure heaven, and your head sinks deep into the pillow as you try to get enough air, try to not scream from pleasure already. Somehow, all you are able to utter is a desperate little whisper.

"Simon–"

His cock is good enough to bring tears to your eyes. You're starving too, you're pulling him in with fierce hunger, and he groans, then nearly falls forward, his weight pressing against you, swallowing you, until you feel like you're an idiot for thinking that you're too big. The thickness of his chest rubs against you as he makes love to you with passion that echoes the first times you did this.

"Just wanna adore you, love." He's panting desperate somewhere above you. A god and a man, both furious and gentle. "I wanna adore you. Just like this."

You answer him with what must be those sounds he told you about, the sounds you make when you want it hard. 

You want him to fuck you, to wreck you after weeks of loneliness and hate. To love you until you break into a million pieces.

"Simon," you whisper. "...Love me."

He halts, huffs in your neck. It's almost a sob. There's so much emotion and desperation in the air that it could be scooped up and sold in the streets.

"Always," he rasps in your ear, then moves to kiss you again. "Always."

The promise echoes around you, it coats your lips as he loves you with all he has. It's been so long, and he feels so good that you nails dig into his shirt, his shoulder, you try to hold onto him even though he's the wave that rocks you.

"You feel that?" He goes deep; he's out of breath and desperate, even more desperate than you. "That's love. You feel it, yeah?"

"Yes," you sob in his shoulder, tears trying to escape your waterline as you're going dumb from the pure sensation, the sensuality of it all. 

"That's it, love. That's a good girl," he turns to your neck and gruffs in your ear as you whimper and moan. "Always such a good girl."

Shit…

"I, I'm gonna…"

Your legs wrap around his middle, your muscles twitch and your hands reach and grab – they claw and yank and tug everything they can: his back, shoulders, shirt, something sturdy to keep you from drowning in a glorious orgasm.

He laughs in your neck and continues to grind you through your climax even when you're shattering, sighing, moaning, writhing under him. He just laughs, the man who never laughs: from witnessing you respond to him calling you a good girl.

Fucking bastard…

Lovable, infuriating bastard who knows you to your core. 

You're an overstimulated heap by the time he comes as well, not long after you, but long enough to make you feel like you're only a tender bunch of nerves. Your legs have fallen to the side, he has open access to take what he needs: you, your love, all of it.

His whole middle goes tense as he cums, he groans and swears somewhere deep into your neck, rolls his hips over and over again like it's a must that his balls press against you with every thrust that shoot his load. 

Then he falls slack, nearly collapses on top of you, reminding you of what it feels like to be small under a giant like him. You're throbbing together, you're full and fulfilled, and he is still lodged deep inside you, panting and broken in a sweat.

"Jesus Christ…" 

He sounds dazed. 

Relieved. 

"Should've done this weeks ago."

You laugh at seeing him so done – a man in love, torn by jealous yearning, finally taking what's his. You stroke his neck, his back – it's so good to have him finally there… So close, with no barriers in between.

"I should've talked to you weeks ago..." 

"Yeah. You should have."

"Are you going to punish me?" You giggle a little – the flirt is light and frees your heart further from its recent jail. He moves to look at you with all the tenderness there is. It's too much... His love is too much. But you won't run from it anymore.

"Nah. Think I'm gonna spoil you some more."

He spoils you right away with a kiss. You surrender to his treatment with happiness: happy tears, even. 

The medicine to your anguish has been the exact opposite to what you had first tried, what you had originally thought. The true remedy for your sickness is mercy. Perhaps some spoiling…

And love.

[mashkaroom]

Translation thoughts on the greatest poem of our time, “His wife has filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor”

It’s actually quite tricky to translate. Because it’s so short, each word and grammatical construction is carrying a lot of weight. It also, as people have noted, plays with registers. “Chintz” is a word with its own set of associations. Chintz is a type of fabric with its origins in India. The disparaging connotation is from chintz’s eventual commonality. Chintz was actually banned from England and France because the local textile mills couldn’t compete.

Keep it real” is tremendously difficult to translate -- it’s a bit difficult to even define. It means to be authentic and genuine, but it also has connotations of staying true to one’s roots. Like many English slang words, it comes first from AAVE. From this article on the phrase:

“[K]eeping it real meant performing an individual’s experience of being Black in the United States. As such, it became a form of resistance. Insisting on a different reality, one that wasn’t recognized by the dominant culture, empowered Black people to ‘forge a parallel system of meaning,’ according to cultural critic Mich Nyawalo...The phrase’s roots in racialized resistance, however, were erased when it was adopted by the mostly-White film world of the 1970s and ’80s....Keeping it real in this context indicated a performance done so well that audiences could forget it was a performance.This version of keeping it real wasn’t about testifying to personal experience; it was about inventing it.”

One has to imagine that jjbang8 did not have the origins of these phrases in mind when composing the poem, but even if by coincidence, the etymological and cultural journeys of these two central lexemes perfectly reflect the themes of the poem. The two words have themselves traveled away from the authenticity they once represented, and, in a new context, have taken on new meanings -- the hero of our poem, the unnamed “him”, is, presumably, in quite a similar situation.

Setting aside the question of register, of the phonology, prosody, and meter of the original, of the information that is transmitted through bits of grammar that don’t necessarily exist in other languages -- a gifted translator might be able to account for all of these -- how do you translate the journey of the words themselves?

In my translations, I decided to go for the most evocative words, even if they don’t evoke the exact same things as in the original. The strength of these two lines is that they imply that there’s more than just what you see, whether that’s the details of the story -- what’s happening in the marriage? how do the narrator and the husband know each other? -- or the cultural background of the very words themselves. I wanted to try and replicate this effect.

Yiddish first:

זייַן ווייַב האָט אָנגעפֿילט זייַן הויז מיט הבלים

צו בלייַבן וויטיש, איך שטוף אים אופֿן דיל. zayn vayb hot ongefilt zayn hoyz mit havolim.

tsu blaybn vitish, ikh shtup im afn dil

This translation is pretty direct. There is a word for chintz in Yiddish -- tsits -- but, as far as I can tell, it refers only to the fabric; it doesn’t have the same derogatory connotation as in English. I chose, instead, havolim, a loshn-koydesh word that means “vanity, nothingness, nonsense, trifles”. In Hebrew, it can also mean breath or vapor. I chose this over the other competitors because it, too, is a word with a journey and with a secondary meaning. Rather than imagining the bright prints of chintz, we might imagine a more olfactory implication -- his wife has filled his house with perfumes or cleaning fluids. It can carry the implication that something is being masked as well as the associations with vanity and gaudiness.

Vitish -- Okay, this is a good one. Keep in mind, of course, that I’ve never heard or seen it used before today, so my understanding of its nuances is very limited, but I’ll explain to you exactly how I am sourcing its meaning. The Comprehensive Yiddish-English Dictionary (CYED) gives this as “gone astray (esp. woman); slang correct, honest”. I used the Yiddish Book Center’s optical character recognition software, which allows you to search for strings in their corpus, to confirm that both usages are, in fact, attested. It’s a pretty rare word in text, though, as the CYED implies, it might have been more common in spoken speech. It appears in a glossary in “Bay unds yuden” (Among Us Jews) as a thieves cant word, where it’s definted as נאַריש, שרעקעוודיק, אונבעהאלפ. אויך נישט גנביש. אין דער דייַטשער גאַונער-שפראַך --  witsch -- נאַריש, or “foolish, terrible, clumsy/pathetic. not of the thieves world. in the German thieves cant witsch means foolish”. A vitishe nekeyve (vitishe woman) is either a slacker or a prostitute. I can’t prove this for sure, but my sense is that it might come from the same root as vitz, joke (it’s used a couple of times in the corpus to mention laughing at a vitish remark -- which makes it seem kind of similar to witty). I assume the German thieve’s cant that’s being referred to is Rotwelsch, which has its own fascinating history and, in fact, incorporates a lot of Yiddish. In fact, for this reason, some of the first Yiddish linguists were actually criminologists! What an excellent set of associations, no? It has the slangy sense of straightforward of honest; it has a sense of sexual non-normativity (we might use it to read into the relationship between the narrator and the husband) -- and a feminized one at that; it was used by an underground subculture, and, again, the meaning there was quite different -- like the “real” in “keeping it real” it was used to indicate whether or not someone was “in” on the life (tho “real” is used to mean that the person is in, while “vitish” is used to mean they’re not). It’s variety of meanings are more ambiguous than “keep it real”, which can pretty much only be read positively, and it also brings in a tinge of criminality. Though it doesn’t have the same exact connotations as “keep it real”, I think it’s about as ideal of a fit as we’ll get because it’s equally evocative of more below the surface. I also chose “tsu blaybn vitish”, which is “to stay vitish”, as opposed to something like “to make it vitish” to keep the slight ambiguity of time that “keep it real” has -- keeping it real does< I think, imply that there is a pre-existing “real” to which one can adhere, so I wanted to imply the same.

The rest is straight-forward. “Shtup” is one of a few words the Comprehensive English-Yiddish Dictionary (CEYD) gives for “fuck”, and I think it has a nice sound.

Ok, now Russian

женой твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками

чтоб не блудить с пути, ебемся на полу

zhenoy tvoy dom napolnin fintiflyushkami.

shtob ne bludit’ s puti’, yebyomsya na polu

In order to preserve, more or less, the iambic meter, I made a few more changes here -- since Russian, unlike Yiddish, is not a Germanic language, it’s harder to keep the same structure + word order while also maintaining the rhythm. I would translate this back to English as:

“Your house is filled with trifles by your wife. To not stray off the path, we’re fucking on the floor”

So a few notes before we get into the choice of words for “chintz” and “keep it real”. To preserve the iamb, I changed “his” to “your”. This changes the lines from a narration of events to some outside party to a conversation between the two men at the center. Russian also has both formal and informal you (formal you is also the plural form, as is the case in a number of other languages). I went with informal you because I wanted to preserve the fact that his wife has filled his house not their house, as someone pointed out in the original chain (though I don’t think that differentiation is nearly as striking in the 2nd person) and because it’s unlikely you’d be on formal you with someone you’re fucking (unless it’s, like, a kink thing). I honestly didn’t even consider making it formal, but that would actually raise a lot of interesting implications about the relationship between the speaker and the husband, as well as with what that means about the “realness” of the situation. Is, in fact, the narrator only creating a mirage of a more real, more meaningful encounter, while the actual truth -- that there is a woman the husband has made promises to that he’s betraying -- is obscured? that this intimacy is just a facade? Is there perhaps some sort of power differential that the narrator wishes to point out? Or perhaps is the way that the narrator is keeping it real by pointing out the distance between the two of them? there is no pretense of intimacy, the narrator is calling this what it is -- an encounter without deeper significance?

Much to think about, but I actually think the two men do have history --  i think the narrator remembers the house back when it was actually only “his house” and was as yet unfilled with chintz. We also don’t know what they were calling each other prior to this moment. This could be the first time they switched to the informal you. 

Ok moving on, I originally translated it as “твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками жены”. Honestly, this sounds more elegant than what I have now, but I ultimately though removing the wife from either a subject or agent position (grammatically, I mean) was too big a betrayal of the original. The original judges the wife. She took an active role in filling the house. If she were made passive, that read is certainly a possible one -- perhaps even the dominant one -- but it could also read more like “we are doing this in a space filled with reminders of his wife and the life they share” -- the action of filling is no longer what’s being focused on. Why do I say the current translation is inelegant? I feel you stumble over it a little, because it’s almost a garden path sentence. This is also an assset though. “Zhenoy tvoy dom napolnen” is a fully grammatical sentence on its own, and it means “Your house is filled by your wife” -- as in English, the primary read is that the wife is what the house is full of. If the sentence makes you stumble, perhaps that’s even good -- we focus, for good reason, on the relationship between the two men, but in a translation, the wife is able to draw more attention to herself.

Ok, chintz: I chose the word “финтифлюшки” (fintiflyushki), meaning trifle/bobble/tchotchke, because it, allegedly, comes from the german phrase finten und flausen, meaning illusions and vanity/nonsense. Once again, I like that the word has a journey, specifically a cross-linguistic one.

Keep it real: this one, frankly, fails to capture the impact of the original, in my opinion, but allow me to explain the reasoning. “Stray off the path” implies, again, that there is some sort of path that both the narrator and the husband were on before the wife and the chintz -- and one they intend to continue taking, one that this act is a maintenance of. It brings in a little irony, since the husband very much is straying from the path of his marriage. “Bludit’“ can also mean to be unfaithful in a marriage (as, in fact, can “stray”). The proto-slavic word it comes from can mean to delude or debauch -- they want to do the latter but not the former.

As for register -- “shtob” is a bit informal. I would write the full version (shto by) in an email, for example. The word for fuck, yebyomsa, is from one of the “mat” words, the extra special top tier of russian swears, definitely not to be said in polite company (and, if you are a man of a certain generation or background, not in front of women; it’s not that the use of mat automatically invokes a male-only environment, but if we’re already thinking that deeply about it. But while we’re on the topic, i will say that in my circles in the US, women use mat much more actively than men (at least in front of me, who was, up until recently, a woman and also a child).)

Ok i think that’s all the comments i have!

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Haikyuu Boys calling you ma’am ──☆*:・ﾟ

Team ! Karasuno

Btw I’m working on the rest of the cuddling headcanons😋

Characters: Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Nishinoya, Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka

Hinata✿

Respectful boy! Most of the time- he has so much courage and respect for you so he calls you ma’am normally when your ‘leading’ such as giving him a pep talk or showing him how to do something

“I’m telling you! Stop running with your arms down it makes you slower. Understand?” “Yes ma’am! I’ll try!” “You literally did the opposite of what I said, raise your arms up it’ll make your body more aerodynamic…do you even know what that means?” “No ma’am I don’t…BUT I’ll run with my arms higher!” He literally runs with his arms straight in the air, that’s not what you meant either-

Kageyama✿

Sassy but not intentionally, most of the time hes not trying to be sassy but sometimes he just says things that can be viewed as such. He does call you ma’am as a nickname but the way he says it sounds like hes trying to back talk you-

“Do you mind getting me some water baby?” “Whatever you say ma’am” “excuse me?” “What?” He asks, handing you the water “why so sassy?” “I wasn’t…huh?” “The ‘ma’am’ wasn’t you being sassy?” “Uhm no I genuinely wanted to call you that?” “Oh….thanks baby-”

Tsukishima✿

Sassy.on.purpose. He thinks he’s so funny teasing you with names that aren’t really fitting at the time, calling you ma’am or miss is him trying to penalized you, but most of the time he fails since you don’t mind being called it. He ends up flustered instead but he doesn’t tell you

“HEY! DID U TAKE MY BOOK?” “What? Oh no ma’am I would never~” “well… I guess I can’t be mad when my baby calls me silly names~” “heh…what..?” “Your so cute when you call me names like that how can I be maddd?” You kiss his cheek causing him to turn red “w-whatever” “but seriously give me my book back or else your ‘ma’am’ isn’t gunna be happy.”

Yamaguchi✿

Only calls you ‘ma’am’ and stuff when he’s either scared of you or in trouble. Normally he tries to calm you down with empowering names and normally it works!

“How can you make such a mess and not clean up. Seriously I don’t care if you make your own food but why do you leave the ingredients EVERYWHERE!” “I-I’m sorry! I’ll clean it up right away ma’am!” “Hmm…well I guess I can’t be mad at that cute face and respectful talk huh~ I’ll help” “no ma’am it’s my mess! Let me!”

Nishinoya✿

Hes a Flirt to He calls You things like ‘ma’am’ ‘miss’ ‘mama’ n such all the time. But normally follows it up with a compliment, or sometimes he uses it as a compliment itself

“Wow is that a goddess I see infront of me?!” “Uh are you expecting something in return?” “No ma’am just wanted to let you know you are lookin foxy today~” “…ok weirdo, can you tie my shoes for me though?” “YES MA’AM!” He feels like he’s slipping on Cinderellas shoe anytime he helps you with yours LOL

Daichi✿

Respectful! Yk how his team is scared of his authority? Well he’s more scared of yours. And since he is the respectful man he is he doesn’t try to test you. He agrees in fear of ticking you off

“Daichi.” “Uhm…yes…” “the trash.” He forgot to take out the trash “OH MY GOD. I am so sorry! Itll Never happen again maam I promise!” “Wow ok, take your time no need to get scared-” “oh thank god your not mad-”

Sugawara✿

He’s scared to ask for the simplest things, he tries his best to be as nice as possible when asking. Not to butter you up so your more likely to say yes but so you think he is still respecting you and all you do

“Y/n..uh I mean- ma’am, could you possibly help me with something. If you are to busy that’s ok-” “no babe it’s ok, what do you need help with?” “Thank you ma’am-” “that’s not necessarily suga~ just let me help” “oh…ok uhm could you help me find my favorite sweater i don’t remember where it is” “cuz I stole it” “what?”

Tanaka✿

Like noya, he just calls you it to flirt OR to butter you up, probably because he’s going to ask you the craziest thing after and he hopes the name would make you say yes

“So my beautiful, sexy and charming y/n what chu uh…doing?” “….you want something huh?” “Yes ma’am~ I was wondering if I could-” “no.” “OH CMON!” “Nope.” “PLEASEEEE” “dude im not rocking you to sleep again, your not a baby.” “YOU DID IT BEFORE!” “It was a ONE TIME THING!”

Yes I stole this prompt from my previous naruto post😋

Again not proof read 😌

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Okay AN IDEA !

If you like it you can use it, if it's not something you wanna write that's perfectly fine too !!

So the request is for wandanat x daughter reader

R is secretly spider girl, only Tony stark knows because he's the one who got her the spider suit. R knows her moms would absolutely be against it, always telling her to stay away from that "spider girl" (not knowing it's actually their daughter. Yes like aunt May does in Spiderman : home coming :3)

So let's say R gets into trouble after trying to fight a villain way too strong compared to her and ends up being saved by wanda herself. Wanda finds out at this moment that the spider girl is her daughter and you can choose how the story goes from there

💕

(your favorite mf who sent 8678 request)

Spider-Girl

Summary: Is it a plane? Is it the Friendly neighborhood Spider-Girl? Sort of, it’s a girl who doesn’t listen to her moms!

Pairing: WandaNat x daughter!reader

Warnings: violence

Word count: 2111

a/n: there surely are words written down here

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @emsmultiverse @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

A video of the Spider-Girl stopping bank robbers is shown on the evening news. Y/N stares at the television screen as she eats with her moms, at times glancing at them to see if they’re paying attention to the news.

Natasha shuts off the television with a sigh, throwing the remote to the couch afterwards. Y/N turns to look at her scrunched brows and pursed lips. “If you ever see that Spider-Girl, stay away from her, okay? We don’t want you getting dragged into anything she does.” Her mother mumbles while eating.

Y/N rolls her eyes, though she hides it from her mom. “Mhm.”

“We’re serious about this, Y/N.” Wanda sets her cutlery down, looking at her daughter. “It’s dangerous and we don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I know,” she pushes her plate away, still half full, “you think I can’t handle myself.” Her voice is full of defiance as she mumbles.

The two women sigh as they glance at each other and their daughter, who is keeping her eyes away from them. This isn’t the first time conversations like this have come up.

“It’s not that we think you’re incapable,” Natasha raises her brows as Wanda starts speaking, which makes her wife give her a subtle slap to the arm, “we’re afraid that the bad guys will hit you twice as hard when they realize whose daughter you are.”

“Mhm.” Is all the answer her mothers get before she excuses herself from the dining table and makes her way to her bedroom.

As Y/N slams the door shut, she locks it and moves the curtains in front of her single window. Sitting down to her bed, she closes her eyes and takes some deep breath, calming down her mind. She is aware her mother would never read her mine without permission, unless absolutely necessary, but Y/N likes to make sure there are no loose ends.

Her mind clears from any unwanted thoughts—thanks to Natasha making her meditate with her since she was a kid—and a smile appears on her face. Y/N walks over to her wardrobe, her steps light as she opens it and starts digging through the mess of things inside. She finds the back wall of the wardrobe and moves it out of her way, taking her suit out of its hiding place.

She slips on her Spider-Girl suit, grinning from ear to ear at the empowering feeling the suit gives her. This is what she wants to do. This is her life.

Pressing her ear against the chilly wooden door, listening to the quiet sound of a laugh track coming from the television. Her mom won’t come bother her when they think she is upset. She has plenty of time to fight crime.

Y/N opens her window and climbs out of it, the palms of her suit sticking to the walls of her home as she makes her way to the roof. She shivers as the wind picks up, but she doesn’t let it bother her.

The homemade web shoots out of the web shooter and she flies towards the city centre, where the evening bustle is starting to wake up. She props herself on top of a building, it’s high enough to be hidden from the people, but still low enough to keep an eye on the streets.

After a few minutes of surveilling the area, a bright light flashes just outside the city, leaving a trail of smoke behind. Y/N grins and makes her way to the smoke, practically flying over the buildings as she glides in the air with the web wings of her suit.

It only takes her around 15 minutes to get near the site. She lands on top of an industrial building, staying low as her eyes adjust to the lack of bright city lights.

Y/N can quickly figure out where the light came from. There is a machine on an otherwise unoccupied patch of land between all the abandoned looking buildings. The machine is big, but it looks crude, handmade. She frowns, not feeling good about any of this. It’s still slightly smoking when two men wearing safety gear finally step onto her line of sight.

She tries to hear what they’re talking about, but they’re too quiet even with her heightened sense of hearing. Her eyes scan over the near area, trying to calculate how safe she’d be if she made herself known to them. Not seeing anything on top of the two men and the machine, she starts quietly crawling closer, keeping a close eye to the men’s hands.

Suddenly, a buzzing sensation fills her mind. She snaps her head to the direction her spidey senses guide her, and even though she is fast, it’s not enough. A third man has climbed onto the roof. He is holding a weapon Y/N doesn’t recognize and shoots it before she is able to react.

A bolt of electricity flies out of the gun-like weapon. It hits Y/N right on her side, making her lose her grip and fall down from the building, all the way to the ground. A small cloud of dust puffs out from the impact.

With a groan, Y/N opens her eyes, seeing the two men standing over her with grins on their faces. “Well, well, well,” one of them chuckles, “what do we have here?” His voice is low and raspy, the smoked a pack a day for years kind of voice.

She lets out a quiet growl-like noise, which clearly doesn’t intimidate the men. “What’s she supposed to be?” The other man mumbles, his head tilting from side to side as he studies Y/N’s suit. “Some kind of bug, eh?”

Using the moment to her advantage, she pushes herself on her feet with a move Natasha taught her, webbing one of the men to the face and kicking the other’s knee. The men let out surprised noises, stumbling away from Y/N, which gives her a slight advantage as she starts fighting them.

She does well for a while, at least when there’s only two of them fighting her, but slowly she starts hearing noises growing louder, like running.

Just as she knocks one of the men unconscious and stick the other to a wall with her web, a group of people with the man who shot her in front arrive. “Shit.” Y/N pants, already having used a lot of energy. The man raises his weapon, shooting an electric bolt again.

Y/N lets out a shout as the bolt of energy hits her square in the chest. She flies a few meters back, landing on her back with a grunt. Her hand flies up to her mask, quickly whispering, “SOS,” before she stands back up.

“The Avengers have been notified.” A robotic female voice speaks up.

Mumbling out a quiet thanks to her artificial intelligence helper, Y/N lunges towards the men again. She feels as if part of her strength is back, now that she knows Tony is coming, but reality hits her like a brick wall once an electric beam hits her.

“I’m getting tired of this.” Y/N grumbles, shooting webs to one of the weapons hitting her.

She webs herself into the air, using the altitude as an advantage against the men. While one of the men is still busy with getting the web out of his gun, Y/N swings down, feet first, on one man’s head.

The impact makes a nasty cracking sound, one that makes Y/N cringe. “Sorry!” She lands on the ground, on her feet, while the man falls on his back, unconscious, hopefully. Her spider senses active, and this time she has enough time to web away another weapon pointed at her. What she doesn’t notice is a new group of men on top of a building pushing down a cell tower.

“Take that!” Y/N mumbles to herself, making up sound effects as she shoots her webs, trapping a man to the ground.

A crashing sound gets her attention. She looks up into the sky, where the cell tower is falling down right towards her. She goes to shoot out a web, but nothing comes out of her suit. She lets out an ear shattering scream when the metallic tower drops right on top of her.

Tears are brimming her eyes as she heaves, trapped under the structure. Her vision is blurred and she can taste blood. The men around her look pleased, ready to end it, until one of them flies away.

The others start looking around, shooting at the smallest movements and noises, but one by one they get either flown away or shocked unconscious.

Y/N recognizes the familiar red wisps of magic in the air, and the small widow bites flying. She lets out quiet curses as she starts pushing herself up, using all of her strength to push the structure off of her.

“Let me help you with that.” Wanda lands in front of her, easily lifting the cell tower with her magic while Natasha punches the last man standing unconscious. “Are you alright?” She helps Y/N up, letting her lean on her for support.

Y/N nods, not daring to speak. She knows her mother would recognize her voice. “You got hurt pretty bad. We could help patch you up.” Natasha states as she walks over to them after letting Tony know someone could come collect the men now.

Y/N shakes her head, her eyes wide, though the two women can’t see it. She steps away from Wanda’s hold, giving them finger guns before going to web herself away from the situation. “Shit!” She grumbles as nothing happens.

Wanda frowns. She flicks her wrist, causing the mask on Y/N’s face to fly away. “Y/N!”

Gasping, Y/N looks at her moms with wide eyes. “I can explain! It’s not what it looks like.” She holds out her hands.

“It looks like you sneaked out to fight bad guys on your own,” Natasha’s hands are crossed over her chest, “and you didn’t tell us you’re Spider-Girl.”

“Well-“ Y/N opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, “that’s.. that’s it.” She mumbles, avoiding looking at her moms. They’re angry, so very angry.

“What in the world were you thinking?” Wanda scolds, though concern clearly slips through her angry tone. She walks over to Y/N and starts looking at the wounds she has. “This could’ve ended up so much worse. Do you understand that?”

“Yes..”

“How long have you been doing this?” Natasha walks over as well, wrapping her arm around Y/N’s waist so she could lean on her.

Y/N has a sheepish smile on her face, “as long as you’ve seen Spider-Girl on the television.” They start walking towards Natasha’s car.

Letting out a quiet huff, Wanda shakes her head. “You’re so lucky I’m more worried about your health right now.” She gives Y/N a pointed look, a look that says you’re in so much trouble. “But you better believe we are going to take that suit away and ground you until you’re 30, do you hear me? You will never leave the house again.”

Natasha opens the back door for Y/N, helping her in before getting in herself, while Wanda gets into the driver’s seat. “Who gave you the suit?”

“Tony.” Y/N says quickly. She’ll happily put some of the blame on someone else than herself.

“Oh, I’m going to kill him.” Wanda states from the front of the car.

“I’ll help you.” Natasha mumbles, pulling Y/N closer as she starts to look over her wounds. “You know Wanda is right, yeah? Once you’ve healed up properly we will talk about consequences. And you can never do this again, never ever.” Her hands are on her daughter’s cheeks to hold eye contact, she wants to make sure Y/N is really hearing her.

She nods. She understands this was a close call, she has never gotten this hurt before, but Y/N doesn’t see it as a reason to completely stop. She can get better.

Natasha pulls her close, kissing the side of her head gently. “At least not before you train with us.” She whispers, giving her a small wink before going back to acting as if she never said anything.

Y/N can’t help but let a grin grow on her face. She looks down at her lap to hide it from Wanda, who keeps glancing at her from the rear view mirror.

She’ll never stop being Spider-Girl.

[queenimmadolla]

𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥

Summary: Tired of seeing Eddie with other women, you reflect on how much longer you can take it.

Warnings: no mentions of y/n, fem!reader, heavy on the angst, hurt with attempts to comfort, both reader and Eddie are bad at feelings, self-deprecation, Eddie is toxic and doesn’t know why, infidelity (but not technically), no happy ending.

The house is quiet as the front door creaks open, you’re quick to slip inside—chill of the October air nipping at your back. The lights are all off and your arms curl around your exposed midsection. It was colder outside but still chilly in your home, your parents out of town on a romantic anniversary road trip. 

  You sigh, tossing your keys on the table to run around searching for in the morning, and make your way to your room with a quick detour at the thermostat to turn on the heat. It’s a blind fumble to reach the antique lamp, once you enter your bedroom, but you refuse to use the overhead light. It would cast your room in non-aesthetic lighting, and you’re already annoyed, pissed off and depressed enough.

  An irritated breath is huffed from your lips, top lip curling as you recall the very reason for your negative attitude, hands yanking your top right over your head. It’s only when you’re in your pajamas, faced with your own reflection as you prepare to remove the makeup that had been so empowering to put on but you can now feel on your face like an unpleasant mask, that you allow the hot tears of anger and hurt to fall. You almost want to laugh at yourself, mouth curling into a bitter smile as you swipe the ponds cream all over your face. As you massage it in, making sure to focus on your eyes, the smile wavers, corners tugging down as moisture still leaks from your clenched eyelids.

  You don’t have to be mean to yourself, you shouldn't. Not when the guy you’re in love with already does such a good job of it.

  You purse your lips, trying to hold back sobs as you recall the images of him all over a girl you didn’t know at a party he’d convinced you to go to. You couldn’t even describe her, couldn’t remember what she looked like—all you saw was your Eddie, the guy who drove you to and picked you up from work, took you on cute dates involving picnic baskets, fields, lakes, empty lots to stargaze in, nearly empty movie auditoriums so the two of you could canoodle, your tongues tasting each other as the two lovers on screen professed their undying love. 

  He even bought you stuffed animals, would pretend to give them life and personalities to go with it, all to amuse you. Did arts and fucking crafts with you. 

  But anytime you so much as brought up the status of your relationship, he’d wave it off, claiming labels were for Petri dishes, not people. 

  You were his girl and that’s all that mattered.

  It’s what you’d repeated in your head the first time you’d seen him playing with Bianca Anderson’s fingers while the two of them were tucked away in the corner of the hideout, after one of Corroded Coffin’s sets. And again when you’d stumbled out of Rick’s house party to see him laid out on the grass, his head in the lap of a former cheerleader from high school he used to admire, her head bowed to connect their lips and his hands in her hair.

  By the time he was tugging at Tina’s hair, playfully shouldering her while they stood in front of the bonfire at another gathering, you’d stopped repeating it in your head. Not even when you watched her lead him to her car.

  You lost count of how many times Eddie had made other girls his, too. 

  And like some pathetic worm with no backbone, you let him. Okay—it’s not like you could physically stop them, though tonight your drink had ended up all over him, maybe that put a little stutter in his plans. But there wouldn’t be a too if you just fucking stopped. 

  Just . . .stopped. 

  Stopped taking his calls, stopped answering your door for him, your window, let your co-worker take over the counter the moment he stepped in, stopped looking for his car, stopped thinking about him and that stupid fucking dimple, stopped thinking about how special you felt when he had your naked body pressed against his under the warmth of blankets, his rough fingertips tracing over your sweaty shoulder. How he’d always get so tender, pull you even closer and whisper how much you meant to him while pressing slow kisses to your face. How he never wanted to lose you, wouldn’t know what to do, couldn’t live. It was the sweetest agony. 

  Most of all, you wish he would stop being there in the morning, all soft breaths and fluttering lashes as he tried to be as close to you as he could, even in a deep slumber. It’s how you know he means it. He means everything he tells you. There is truth to those sweet nothings, declarations, proclamations. You know it. 

  And that’s why it all hurt so bad, because you know he cares about you as much as he says he does and he still always fucking hurts you, always breaks your heart, but because you know he cares, you’d just let him back in like some fucking clown.

  He gets to break you over and over again and you let him because he always puts the pieces back together.

  You know what people say about you—everyone knows the two of you are involved and they’d see him out and about with others. Your fumbling answers about what the two of you aren’t just make it clear to them that you’re a doormat and you can’t even deny it. Just avoid their pitiful looks thrown your way.

  After washing your face, you take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror; eyes rimmed red, lashes clustering together, face etched in misery. When you can’t stand the person on the other side of the mirror any longer, you flip the light switch and leave the bathroom, pick your favorite tape to listen to, set the volume low and slip into bed. 

  You’d teetered with the idea of smoking a little, but that would just stave off the heartbreak. Might as well feel it in the moment while you still have the sense of mind before—

  Knock, knock, knock.

  A humorless chuckle escapes you, muffled into your pillow as your eyes slip shut. Sometimes by the front door, just about always by the window. You think it’s another one of his little relationship doorstops; can’t be serious with you if he uses your window to sneak into your house, it’s much too intimate to walk through your front door. 

  Of course, he can’t let you have a moment of peace, not even when you’re down. No, he has to fix you now. That’s how the toxic cycle goes. So, dutifully, you play your part, though this time, things have changed.

  You toss the blankets off and pad over to your window but you don’t open it right away. Instead, you stare at him. Take him in.

  Eddie is in different attire, shirt and jeans swapped out for one of his old club shirts and some sweats. His hair isn’t as voluminous, it’s wet. He’d had to shower to rid himself of your wine cooler. There’s no trace of the Eddie you saw at the party, this one has eyes filled with sorrow and depth, almost like he’s known nothing else. You know better. 

  Please, he mouths through the glass. You stare a beat longer before the latch is unlocked and he’s hastily pulling it open, clambering in ungracefully. 

  As you watch him gain his footing, part of you wants to taunt yourself about how you’ve let this man, so below your league and wonderful, ruin your life. He’s hot, sure, but you're hotter. That’s just the truth. You denied it a lot at the beginning of your shitty cherished relationship, felt so insecure to have a man like him paying you attention when he can have everyone. But he was no man. And he still had everyone along with you. Those pitting glances weren’t just because of what you let him put you through, it was because they knew you could do better.

  For some reason, the idiot who got his shoe caught on the window sill is the one your heart wants. 

  God, you hate him.

  Rolling your eyes, you go back to your bed, climbing back into your warm blankets. Your back is to him, yet you can still feel his hesitance, see the look on his face, how his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. His stare is intense but it doesn’t unnerve you. Not this time. You feel the bed dip as he climbs in behind you. 

  There’s still some distance between the two of you, you can tell he’s uncertain. Then, he scuttles forward until he’s pressed to your back, arm slipping around your middle to drag you impossibly closer. 

  He’s surrounding you, the scent of Eddie’s all-in-one shampoo and body wash filling your nostrils, underlying smell of the joint he’d smoked to calm his nerves before coming over, and the cheap body spray he’d soaked himself in to try and hide it.

  “I didn’t fuck her,” he whispers, lips at your ear. “Swear I didn’t. Couldn’t.”

  You don’t say anything, just stare at the poster of Roxette pinned to your wall. His arm tightens around you and you can feel his heart hammering against your back.

  “I-I couldn’t do that to you,” he continues and you huff, that bitter smile from earlier returning. Eddie goes stiff behind you, but he has nothing to worry about. You won’t kick him out, won't toss him to the curb like you should. You both know you won’t. He knows you should, knows he hurts you and he honest to god doesn’t know why. Couldn’t tell anyone to save his own life. 

  He just—he just fucks shit up. It’s not self-sabotage because Eddie knows he risks losing you and he doesn’t want to, doesn’t ever want to exist in a world where you don’t want him, don’t want to be with him.

  But he still does it anyway. Still goes and kisses girls knowing you’re watching, does worse when you’re not. 

  The worst part—other than hurting you—is that he doesn’t even want them. Not really. Other than in that moment, Eddie couldn’t give a single shit about them beyond being a Good Samaritan. It’s you he wants all the time.

  You’re the only constant thing he needs in his life, wants around him all the time, craves, lusts after, loves, cherishes. For the rest of his life. But Eddie hurts you, and he doesn’t know why. 

  That’s why he can’t be your boyfriend. Evidently, he’d be a shit one. Not that he’s doing a spectacular job being your…whatever it is he was, whatever the two of you were. 

  Yes, he always fucks up, but he keeps part of you safe from him by not being your boyfriend. One day, you’ll leave him. 

  He knows it. It scares the shit out of him and he prays to deities he doesn’t really believe in that it won’t happen, that he’ll get this shit together and make right by you, but he knows you’ll leave him. You genuinely deserve better. 

  “I wish I didn’t know you,” Eddie tenses once more at your voice, at your statement. It’s said with nonchalance, like you were commenting on the weather. He relaxes, heart clenching in pain as he somehow holds you even tighter.

  “I know.”

  “I hate that I love you. Wish I would just stop.” You shimmy around until you’re facing him, Eddie’s hold on you loosens to allow it, and when you’re settled, he pulls you close again, your nose nudging along the neckline of his shirt.

  “I know.” He whispers out again, vision blurring with unshed tears. He loves you, too. Neither of you ever say it directly, just make references to it. 

  “I will, though. Maybe not tonight, but I won’t always love you.” It’s said with certainty. You’ll take this treatment for now, but you know you won’t forever. Despite the pathetic place you’d found yourself in tonight, again, you’re making strides. Gone was the loser who would just watch him betray you after spending the entire day making you feel like the two of you were the only ones on earth who mattered. Tonight, you’d stepped in. You were growing more self aware. Soon, you would stop answering the door. Stop answering his calls. Stop loving him. 

  And you’d look back and cringe, maybe laugh with your friends about how stupid and naive you’d been. You’d move on, too. Meet someone who treats you as good as Eddie does when he isn’t sucking another girl’s face. They won’t kiss or fuck anyone else, they’ll only ever know you from the moment that spark ignites. You might worry from time to time, effects from Eddie, but they’ll gently coax it out of you, build your trust up and one day you won’t worry. All you’ll know is their love.

  Yeah, you’d stop loving him.

  Eddie makes an indistinguishable sound, you know he’s fighting sniffles. Can hear the emotion in his voice, “I know.”

  You nuzzle your face into his chest before your cheek settles there, listening to the fast paced beating coming from within it and you wonder if it’ll happen tomorrow. If you’ll wake up, see Eddie sleeping in your bed, and have your first thought be how much you want him out of it and away from you without a trace of fondness for him. You’ll just wake up and not love him anymore.

  You slip a leg between his to tangle your limbs, breathing in his scent as deeply as you can when your eyelids flutter shut.

  And while you spend your last moments of consciousness hoping tonight’s the last night you’ll let him hold you, Eddie spends the rest of it wide awake, and hoping. Hoping if he doesn’t fall asleep, he won’t wake up to you telling him you don’t love him. Hoping he’ll miraculously become a better person for you overnight. Hoping he won’t lose you.

  Hoping you’ll always be his girl.

divider ℗ cafekitsune ♡

[lolaandthens0me]

What does it mean to be a diaper slut?

Hello there Anon and thank you for this question. Reclaiming the word and label of slut is a passion of mine, so I’m excited to talk more about this!

For me, the term slut means an empowered person who uses their sexuality and eagerness to play in promiscuity with ethical boundaries and impassioned joy to share love and create more joy around them. I choose to share my body with those who care for it and who view it with respect and lust for exactly who I am…a slut. I ask you to look at my body, to see my diaper, and invite you to get aroused. I think sharing my body in this way helps others to find joy and self love within, which in turn does the same for me.

I believe that my vocation on this Earth is to share my love and to share my body. In doing so I help others to heal, I help others to feel loved, I help others to accept themselves and their kinks, I help others to cum and feel good in their bodies, I help others to love themselves. This is a beautiful gift. When I say that I am a slut, this is the term I use and identify with in order to live and share myself in this way.

I freely give people permission to call me a slut. That does not mean I give permission to disrespect me or otherwise interact with me in a manner beyond our current relationship. And this also does not give people permission to call anyone else a slut, unless they communicate that desire and give permission to do so.

I prefer the term diaper slut when talking within an abdl context. I don’t really identify as adult baby nor as a diaper lover. Rather, I’m a diaper slut. I like to wear and use my diapers as an act of submission and for the enjoyment of peeing myself and feeling wet. I feel sexy and turned on in diapers, and so they mostly hold a sexual space for me. Although I wear 24/7, that doesn’t mean I’m aroused all of the time, but there is a low-level current of sexual energy underlying my days. Because I’m 24/7 as part of my 24/7 submission, I have a button to press which excites me and may arouse me at anytime. I’m always reminded of my place while wearing diapers, which allows me to connect to my body and to my Daddy/Dom all day long.

I am a slut. I am a diaper slut. And I am proud and happy to be so. Slut: this empowering term has helped to guide my path to living a most authentic life.✨

[neptunes-sol-angel]

"I'm finna get this sh*t off my chest and lay it to rest". Pick the gif(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll for its corresponding message of me dissing your haters! 🐍🤭

Paid Readings | Botanica | Tip Jar

Pile One

Your haters are definitely people that are from your past which could consist of those who you’ve shared a close connection with and a group of individuals that were prominent in your childhood. These people made you discover both the positives and negatives that come with the feeling of being passionate, meaning at some point they made you feel really high about yourself and could have been the reason for one of your moments where you felt really low. You could have had an explosive argument with them or have experienced mounds of anger because they’ve betrayed you in a way that involves using your sensitivities as a way to manipulate you and degrade you. Just a lot of bullying energy here, maybe their goal was to make you feel less significant or capable and alone because of your interests that are considered taboo. They could be dark empaths or people pleasers who aren’t equipped enough to handle conflict without throwing someone, regardless of how close you are with them or how long you’ve known them for, under the bus and could also struggle with finding their own independence and confidence to stand up for those that they were supposed to love or what makes them authentic. I feel like your haters are just sore losers, they don’t know how to accept when they’ve lost. What’s pathetic is that they’ve spent so much time trying to get rid of you because they assumed it would make them superior or elevate them in a social circle. Your haters could show a lot of cowardice in a way that blocks them from being creative or gaining in their career, social network, or reputation.You and your haters could have similar backgrounds but cope very differently. They’re very impatient and could make impulsive and destructive choices for fast rewards that may feel beneficial when they gain them but turn ineffective as fast as when they received it. They’re great at conducting illusions though. At one point you could have seen them as crafty, but they’re a one trick pony. Their method in tearing someone down includes repetitively bringing up the same insults to cover up the fact that they can’t roast or really say anything truly jarring about you so they cling to that one thing to see if it will stick. I don’t even think your words are something that hurts you, it’s the fact that they intend to  stoop low is what hurts you. I see several themes of them trying to utilize shame. Shaming you for your quirks is the most obvious but I see a lot of sexual themes too. Your haters could have tried to make you feel as if you were less of the gender that you identify with or they’ve used slut shaming tactics with you which could have been severely traumatizing if you were really young and in school. They’re the type to not have anything else on you so they start making up stuff to again, see it sticks. I feel like you clapback at this by being who they’re not, which is someone that doesn’t care about what others have to say about them. You don’t answer to gossip or let someone convince you that your likes are what will keep you behind, you acknowledge that your likes are what makes you the shit and it shows in how people are positively drawn to you and want to see and hear more from you without you having to wear a mask for people to “like” you. Your haters can’t relate and that’s why they’re upset. You make them even more mad when you’re empowering and accepting yourself while they’re trying to expose you, even if they do it through lies, you’re like “Ok. This is who I am. Now what?” and this is how the tables turn.

What they did to you was a displacement of their own anger towards people they feel lower than which is a lot of people, including you. They got buck with you because they saw your kindness as a weakness and that was their mistake. What makes this pathetic is that they spent so much energy trying to get rid of you just to come back to see if they can have a seat at your table because they see you’re doing big things, that you’re happier without them, and that it’s no fun throwing away genuine people to impress people who don’t care at all about them. As much as they tried to make it seem like you’re invisible, you’re now in their minds rent free. What your haters don’t see coming, is how they’re about to recognize how extremely wrong in not just their actions towards you, but their judgment in how you weren’t going to be supported. It’s going to be very apparent for people in this pile on how much you guys are actually loved. You’re going to realize that the things that you felt like you missed out on in the past, actually never really mattered. Like for an example, you could have desired to “be like the cool kids” or just “normal,” because of the people that made you feel bad, but you’ll learn that your haters are the type to peak in high school or something that doesn’t really amount to anything in life compared to what you’ve been patiently building for yourself. Maybe you don’t see yourself as patient because you get frustrated, however, I see that it’s because you’ve actually always seen the value in yourself but you’ve dealt with people misunderstanding you which is something you’ve learned is out of your control but your anger is geared towards people who react so negatively to what they can’t be patient on or understand. I’m seeing changes with this that can look like reconciliation with family members who correct their behavior towards you instead of trying to control what you want to do with your life or enabling abusive behavior towards you or you could successfully build a community or a name for yourself where people look up to you or find inspiration from you to instill more confidence and self-love towards yourself but also some form of justice that they’re looking for.

The problem with your haters is they’re lost when it comes to finding their own personality and instead of working on that, they’d rather cling onto other people by shadowing them in some way but they still expect to outshine the source which isn’t at all how it works. They could be grifters or have the tendency to copy others or go after your “hand me downs” so that they can feel like they’re on your level. They’re the type to talk down on what you have but in private try to figure out how they can emulate you. Your name is still on their tongue and embedded in their brains long after you parted ways with them because it’s the only way that they can have relevancy. They’re like salt hating on all the other spices. If they spent more time working on their own flavor instead of trying to tear you down for what makes you stand out, then they would finally find themselves instead of making their bland nature everyone else’s problem. They lack seasoning and it shows in how they treat people. Unfortunately you can’t save them from that, so always remember that you don’t have to get even with them, their misery is already turning them every which way but loose. 

Pile Two

A wise woman named Beauteuss once said “How do you expect me to chase you? Baby, I’m so coquette cunt”. I feel like this is your energy and why you have your haters UPSET with you. You have a superpower that most people are afraid to step into or fail to acquire and control which is to stand on business. This comes so naturally to you that the bare minimum doesn’t even cross your mind when you interact with people. You could have a strong balance of venusian and martian energy, you’re charming and know how to have your way with others without seeming manipulative because you’re an open book. What you see is what you get, you mean what you say, you’re very honest with how you feel about others, and you’re bravely upfront about what you want. People could envy your love life or the attention that you get. They want to know your secret with how you have people wrapped around your finger. They want to know how you’re able to be in situations where you’re taken care of by people while still having authoritative people in a chokehold. In your haters’ mind, they see their connection with you as a wrestling match that they cannot win. Your haters tend to be people who are in your career field or environments both physical or virtual where there’s a competitive atmosphere. They have big personalities that are threatened by your resistance or nonchalant attitude to submit to anyone. It just seems like what you have when it comes to magnetism or magisterial prestige is the real deal that people around you can’t help but respect it even if they initially tried to overpower you. Their dominance is more of a defense mechanism, or like the equivalent of how animals exaggerate their features to scare away bigger predators. They have to create a facade in order to control the situation or others. They aren’t really secure with their accomplishments or faith in themselves because they can’t handle coexisting with people who have strong personalities.

Regardless of your gender, men see you as a threat because they feel like you’re better than them or that you should know your place. You do know your place and that’s the problem. You don’t allow romance to trick you out of your independence or stay in situations that don’t give you what you deserve or what you seek. You are a vibrant seducer, people tend to be engulfed by how you stimulate their self esteem and sexual desires but they mess up by thinking that you’re something to be possessed. Your lovers can turn into your enemies when they realize that they can’t control you or take you away from you wanting your own things. You could have been in multiple jobs where your boss had this mysterious hostility towards you even if you’re doing what you’re supposed to do and don’t really talk as much. It’s because they see that it’s destined for you to be your own boss and outgrow them in terms of professionalism. For people who think that they can’t relate to this energy because it seems exaggerated, it’s because the main thing that your haters fear about you is your potential which is why you attract people in one-sided competitions with you. You destroy your haters by seeing what they see in you. Some things for people are written in the stars, your haters see you as the kind of person who’s able to manifest luck, success, and specific luxuries based on how confident and appealing you are to others and how well life responds to your beliefs. They could be jealous of how what could be delusional or unrealistic for them comes into fruition in your life. They could actually try to believe that you have a big head until they see for themselves that you have physical evidence that back up your confidence and influence on others. Your haters just see you as a reflection of how feeble they are with wanting more for themselves. Your haters could be older people of the same sex as you because you remind them of what they don’t have anymore or regrets over things that they should have pursued in their youth. They could also be jealous of how sensually desirable you are to people both your age and older. They feel like other people see you as someone who can do no wrong. They want your grit, your ability to get things from others, your beauty, your canniness to destroy anyone who does you wrongly, your assertiveness to stand up for yourself, and your reluctance to settle for anything less. What riles your haters is how you don’t have to beg.

You don’t require anyone else’s permission on when and how you can take time for self care. Your colleagues wish they could be like you when it comes to prioritizing yourself or how you think and act like the job needs you more than you need it. You could have a talent for having multiple streams of income. I’m picking up a lot about platforms on social media or you being in an industry where people who may have more than you secretly admire what you bring to the table, but instead of seeing your gifts as something beneficial, they try to hide you or ignore you as a way to stagnate your growth. But I see that it never works because if you’re in a space where people don’t want to give you any credit, you don’t cry over it or invest more of your labor thinking that things will change, you move onto somewhere else and end up still living up to the purpose that people tried to keep you from reaching. This mindset translates itself to many different areas in your life, especially in love. You don’t chase after people withholding their respect for you and it shows your haters that they have a lot of growing to do and evaluation for toying with power dynamics is not serving them in the way that they think it is. You make your haters question if they truly have any finesse or not by making them overthink their position and credibility in life. You make them consider how they’ve been denying themselves from their inner prowess and how they’ve allowed their past failures to consume their competence for optimism and compassion. 

Pile Three

Your haters are obsessed with the fact that you don’t want anything to do with them. These are people who are used to playing back and forth games with other people. They’re so used to always being in drama and chaos or someone chasing after them to continue these same old messy cycles that it completely baffles them when you don’t engage with their toxicity. I’m seeing that you could be really patient with people who keep poking to get a reaction out of you until they go too far. You might cuss them out, but that’s about it. You say what you need to say and feel about this person and then you cut them off and move on with your life. The closure that you give to others is very brief or sharp, people may even consider it as foul, but you don’t do it for anyone’s liking or entertainment, you do it for yourself to release the stress that you’ve been carrying so that it can bring you to a start in your healing journey away from that conflict. Your haters are very lost when it comes to reality and their ego. I see this vision of two people playing a game, one person is constantly cheating throughout it, and when the other person finally decides to walk away, the cheater thinks that they’ve won. They’re proud of themselves until it settles in that they didn’t really win anything, you don’t care anymore, and you’re not coming back to play that game with them any longer and they’re dumbfounded yelling out to you “that’s it? You’re not playing anymore? Wait come back!” and you’re like no thanks, I’m good. I’m actually going to hold your hater’s hand and tell them in the nicest way possible that they need to find a life and that no one is concerned with them since they’ve driven out every single person that’s close to them from their life by being delusional and childish. They want to be the it person so bad by actually thinking that they have haters and that people are obsessed with them when no one cares enough to be. They rely on playing mind games with people to make it seem like they have influence on others and to boost their ego but they have no idea that it’s not the kind that they think. It’s getting to the point where if they’re into spirituality and feel like they’re being evil eyed, then it’s probably 100% true but not because they’re an icon or anything like that. People are wishing for their downfall because this hater does not know when to stop provoking others and will eventually get clocked if they don’t stop.

The universe is special with its timing but humans are faster when they want consequences to be dished out. But this person has a particular obsession with you because you got away unscathed the most from them. Things don’t have to be taken away from them or done to them for them to suffer. The punishment for them that’s going to hurt the most, is them seeing you live your best life, genuinely finding peace and healing away from the hurt that they were going to heavily imprint on your life. They’re going to have to witness you step by step, moving on and finding your groove back with yourself and newer connections with people who will treat you better. This is a teaching moment for them to understand that being toxic is not cute. They will meet their match and it won’t come from a person willing to stoop that low with them. They were mistaken to try their luck with you and now they’ll have no choice but to be haunted with this lingering feeling of you looking down on them forever even when you’re actually looking away (out of sight and out of mind). 

[nayatarot777]

how does your family view you? • pick-a-card

*please remember that this is your family’s perception of you. it might not be how you perceive yourself.

• pile one •

overall, i see a very positive and empowering perception that your family has of you.

first of all, they know that you’re intuitive af. clairvoyant specifically. you can see through situations and people clearly. aspects of things that they themselves perhaps miss. they feel like you can’t be lied to or tricked, so for a lot of you, your family doesn’t worry about you being naive within your friendships, relationships, and life in general. you’re not easily fooled.

there’s something about your anger too. they might see you rebuild yourself after experiencing destruction in your life - especially if someone has betrayed you or fucked you over. it seems as though you use that anger to rebirth yourself into a more “upgraded” version of yourself. you learn lessons quickly and seem to not make the same mistakes again. and thanks to your increase in awareness after these tower moments, these newfound experiences are added to your internal library of knowledge for your intuition to pick up on if similar people or situations are presented to you yet again.

you know your own power, so your family sees you as the person who dares to possess dreams and aspirations for yourself that not many others in your family would have the courage to put trust into achieving. and they know that your rebirths are motivated by what you see for yourself and your life in the future. they feel like you have a very good self esteem - or at least a high level of trust in yourself and your abilities. they feel as though you have a figurative crown on your head. if your parents are very successful people (whether that’s due to their career, building their lives from little to nothing - especially if they’re immigrants and worked hard to build the life that they have) then they believe that you’re someone who will continue on their legacy of success in your own way. i’m hearing that they don’t worry about where you’re gonna end up in life because the trust in yourself puts trust in them that you’ll build a legacy of your own.

they also see you as very head-strong. someone who controls and leads your life in whatever way you want to. you don’t seem to take no for an answer, nor pause your journey in the face of obstacles. there’s a lot of drive that you have when it comes to determining what your world looks like according to your vision. there’s something untameable about you. almost like you don’t listen to anyone. you trust that you know what’s best for you so you’re the ruler of your own kingdom with your clear vision.

despite all of your seemingly extravagant or unconventional dreams, your family believes that you’re extremely grounded in reality. you have a great balance of living within your internal world as well as the physical world. in stressful moments of life, you can balance out your emotions and view things practically. you have a good head on your shoulders and you listen to what comes from your heart space. what you actually feel in all of its authenticity and honesty.

your family also believes that you’re extremely body confident. whether this is because you take care of your body through exercise and eating well, or because you dress however the fuck you want to. the way that you dress could be a style that shows off your body for a lot of you. your family sees your self love and your self worth through this.

significant numbers: 12, 13, 28, 24, 15, 21

astrological placements/aspects: pisces/neptune, scorpio/pluto, aries/mars, taurus/venus

for more readings, check out my patreon!

• pile two •

your family views you as someone who has already undergone or who is undergoing some type of powerful personal growth within yourself. this could be related to listening to yourself and your own intuition. your family may feel like you feel as though you can’t trust them, despite trying to for so long. but for some of you, they can tell that you’ve finally decided to listen to yourself and see them for who they truly are. they can see sadness in your eyes or in your face whenever they look at you. there’s a feeling of betrayal here - from them towards you - that they recognise.

they view you as someone who feels detached from them. they could try to show you love but they can tell that you feel uncomfortable whenever they do. they’d describe the familial “love” between you and them as strange or unfamiliar to you. this “love” could’ve come after they realised that you were growing more distant from them as a last attempt at keeping you close to them. but again, they know that you know the truth about them and so the feeling of awkwardness during these attempts at trying to show affection towards you is mutually felt. they feel like you don’t want their love. like you’d rather just be left alone by them. these family members may be very energetically draining and this is how you protect your energy from them. and there’s also a feeling of this love being forced. not genuine. it’s fake or forced out of them for a lot of you and you can see that.

they might also be aware of some body image issues that you have. or this might just be their perception of you - especially if you have any body modifications like tattoos and piercings that they don’t approve of. they view this as “mutilation” of your body. i’m also seeing them view you as someone who’s very protective over your body with the clothing that you wear. based on the way that you completely cover up or your oversized clothing. so if you do have any body image issues, they might’ve picked up on them based on that observation. at least you dress like this around them. you might be uncomfortable wearing certain things around your family because they always have some comments to make about your body. but i am sensing some shame about your body for some of you. i’m seeing that for a lot of you, your family feels like you don’t treat your body like a temple. if these are the same people who’d make negative, nitpicking comments about your body then idk wtf they expect. that might’ve been their goal tbh (for those of you with malignant ass, jealous ass family members who want you to feel like shit about the way that you look).

for others of you, it’s the opposite and your family feels like you dress “too revealingly” in public or maybe online in your social media posts. for a minority of you, your family knows about your online sex work (or this is an assumption that they’ve made about you). but for some of you, there’s something about your family feeling like you’re too naked in the public eye. this could also be metaphorical, meaning that your family may feel like you’re well-known by people but i don’t get a good energy from this (from their perspective anyway). they may feel like you’re known for something that’s not a positive thing to be known for. or like you’re just vulnerable in the public eye.

they view you as someone who takes the time to take steps forward in your life. and they may feel like you’re waiting on divine timing to make moves in your life. but some of your family members view this as you just being lost and “behind” in life in some way. like your head is just up in the clouds and like you don’t really know where you’re headed in life. they don’t understand moving forward when you feel like you should be moving.

they know that you have a lot of childhood trauma to unpack. and they feel like your heart is blocked or locked because of it. for some of you, your family would like to figure out how to unlock it but i feel like they feel as though there’s not much that they can do. you may have been a very angry child, and i feel like you’re not necessarily an angry person now but your family can tell that you’re suppressing a lot. and that in order to unlock your heart (your feelings), you’re going to have to let out a lot of anger and resentment first.

significant numbers: 41, 27, 2, 18, 24, 35

astrological placements/aspects: chiron, venus in scorpio/8th house, venus conjunct chiron (particularly in the 4th house/conjunct the ic), taurus, lilith in taurus/2nd house, aquarius/uranus, lilith in 11th house/aquarius, pisces/neptune, mercury in pisces, chiron in 4th house, chiron in 5th house, aries/mars in 5th house, sun in aries, pluto in 1st house, scorpio rising, chiron in aries, chiron aspect mars (mainly conjunct)

for more readings, check out my patreon!

• pile three •

your family view you as someone who prefers to be alone. even if you know that there are people around you who love and care for you, you still prefer to be by yourself. and some of them can tell that it’s because you only feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with yourself.

they also might view you as quite messy too, whether this is your bedroom or your home in general. but there’s a lack of energy that they witness you having that’s the root cause of this.

despite all of this, they view you as someone who’s very accepting of your solitude that you use for the sake of finding peace. you could be very meditative or very peaceful by yourself within your own energy. and they feel as though, whenever they bother you in your alone time, you become very defensive and repel them. some of you may struggle with depression, but it’s not depression that you want help with. not from them at least.

this energy is vastly different to how they viewed you before. maybe compared to when you were a child. because there was some type of sudden shift in your energy towards them that resulted in you being very isolated and repellent towards them.

they either feel like they don’t know you after this shift or they feel like you don’t really know yourself. someone in your family in particular feels like you’re forgetting who you are who where you came from. maybe even who you came from. they feel like you wear a mask around them. as if there’s always a detachment between you and them. kind of similar to pile two.

i’m getting a lot of “black sheep” energy from you guys. like your family just doesn’t understand you but they know that you’re not really interested in being involved with family gatherings or interactions. if you believe that they do know that you know who you are very well, they view you as someone who hides who you truly are from them. and if you’ve always been singled out or you’ve just always felt different to everyone around you then it makes sense.

they view you as someone who’s at peace with yourself though. just not at peace when being around them. this could make them deeply sad and upset as there’s an energy of them not being able to quite pinpoint why this is the way it is. unlike in pile two. pile two’s family we’re outwardly toxic. but for you guys, i feel like your family just don’t understand you. maybe they never really tried to make an effort to. but whatever the culprit of the reasons behind your familial connections, there are a lot of unknown things that your family feels like they don’t know or understand about you.

significant numbers: 17, 9, 17, 6, 22, 10 - look up the angel number 1717 for an extra message

astrological placements/aspects: pisces, leo, pluto in 5th house, (heavy) scorpio, lilith in 4th house, pluto in 4th house, strong sun-pluto aspects, connection between cancer + scorpio/pluto placements

for more readings, check out my patreon!

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

What do you need to know about lgbt+ history as a lgbt+ person? 

Well, if you ask like that: nothing, actually. You do not disqualify from being lgbt+ if you know nothing about history whatsoever. There’s no exam to pass. 

It also doesn’t make you a bad person or a disgrace to the community or an embarrassment if you haven’t heard about a specific chapter of lgbt+ history yet - saying so would be really unfair! Maybe you live in a situation in which you don’t feel safe to do a lot of research on lgbt+ related stuff. Maybe you are a young person growing up in hard times and you’re busy just surviving. Maybe your brain works in a way that makes it harder for you to learn or retain new information than for others. Or hey, maybe you already know lots - but your learning simply focused on a different chapter than the one that hypothetical exam would be on!

Of course there are many benefits to learning about lgbt+ history. You get the general benefits of learning new things (such as training your critical thinking skills, which will help you in your everyday life, and even supporting your brain health!) but there’s also specific benefits to learning about this specific subject.

History isn’t all “learning boring stuff about dead people” - learning about past events and their consequences also helps you understand present events and gauge their potential consequences for your future. This will for example empower you in your voting decisions (or help you understand how politics influence everyday life at all, if that’s your starting point!). 

Knowledge about lgbt+ history also helps you to notice misinformation more easily and enables you to counteract homophobic myths with facts. 

It may even help you on a more personal level: reading up on all the people who came before you can foster a sense of identity and belonging. It might make you feel more confident to know that people like you have been around forever and have achieved so many things! 

So, rather than “what do I need to know”, I think the much better question is “where do I want to start?”. 

Nobody knows everything about lgbt+ history (or about any given topic, really!) and unrealistic expectations will only set you up for disappointment. It’s best to let your curiosity lead you! You’re much more likely to actually read up on something you are genuinely excited to learn about than something you’ve only been told to read. 

With that in mind: it can feel overwhelming to pick a topic to start with! Especially if you’re pretty new to lgbt+ history, you may not even know where to start. So I do want to make some suggestions here. Not as a “you need to research all these today or else I’m revoking your license to gay”, just to spark your curiosity! I will not add explanations right here in the post, I just want to give you some terms you can easily put in the search bar. (Important: these are in random order, not ranked by importance or anything like that!) 

US-Centric lgbt+ History

1. Stonewall Riots

2. Harvey Milk

3. Marsha P. Johnson

4. Sylvia Rivera

5. The Lavender Scare

6. Obergefell v. Hodges

7. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

8. The Mattachine Society

9. The Daughters of Bilitis

11. The AIDS crisis

12. Bayard Rustin

13. Lawrence v. Texas

14. The Gay Liberation Front

15. The Human Rights Campaign

European lgbt+ History

1. Section 28 (UK)

2. Oscar Wilde

3. Alan Turing

4. Magnus Hirschfeld

5. Paragraph 175 (Germany)

6. The Homomonument (Netherlands)

7. EuroPride

8. James Barry

9. The decriminalization of homosexuality in the UK (1967)

10. ILGA-Europe

11. Homosexual Law Reform Act 1986 (New Zealand, part of the Commonwealth)

12. The Equality Act 2010 (UK)

13. Transgender Europe (TGEU)

14. The first same-sex marriage in the Netherlands (2001)

15. Dora Richter

Have fun learning! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

P.S: You may wonder “But what about places other than the USA or Europe?” (or those of you who already know a lot about lgbt+ history, “but what about (topic I haven’t mentioned here)”) - and that’s actually a really great point! It highlights what we talked about above: nobody knows everything + lgbt+ history is way too rich of a topic to put it all into one short list! This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list of everything important, just some potential starting points that hopefully lead you to topics beyond ones mentioned on this list.

[vaguely-concerned]

another really interesting thing in our man bashir to me is that I think this is the point where garak finally mostly relinquishes his self-appointed role as bashir's teacher. he seems to have taken it upon himself early on, for inscrutable but probably partially horny, partially cultivating a promising (and lovely) contact reasons of his own, to imbue julian bashir with some spysmarts and basic bastard thinking literacy skills, in the hopes that he won't go get his bright beautiful excitable ass killed at the first opportunity. there's a lot of mentor/protege undertone there in the early years. (if you want to get into asit stuff, very much in the same vein as palandine and garak's relationship in the beginning.)

but in omb garak really only has one of his little lectures, and it's basically about The thing about being a spy (and a person) that has most shaped his life: That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor. A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. There is no joy, no magic, no real delight to this, no winning, no recognition, and most importantly no connection; the reward for work well done is only ever the work itself. You don’t kiss the girl, get the key — you simply get on with turning yourself into nothing as best you can. and julian, who had just been trying to momentarily imagine a world where secrets can be cool and glamorous and for good, meaningful reasons that empower him to help the world rather than shameful and isolating and alienating and like a damocles sword hanging over him and everything he cares about, shoots back with 'well, but what if not that, though? that's the whole point of this game! this is my story not yours, trust me to know it better than you do. (I have more things to teach you too, if you’d just listen. And once he gets shot a little bit, garak does listen.)'

(somewhere beneath all this is almost exactly the same debate they will have explicitly later on -- "Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all"/"If that's true, that's one lesson I never want to learn". Something something the freedom to imagine and play around with different worlds in your head, no matter how cringefail james bond LARP nonsense that world is as long as it brings you hope and joy and new perspectives, kill the part of you that cringes etc. Garak you're allowed to get out of the closet in your head now, Tain is gone, you can imagine different things than what has been and no one will turn it against you. Im… sad)

through most of this episode garak is observing, and when he's not simply bitching about everything from the sidelines (<3), he's tentatively trying to throw in comments to play along, to figure out how the flow goes like he's learning a different language, and he's BAD at it hahaha. he barged in there to put himself in a position to learn something about julian bashir's ~*hidden inner psyche*~, but UH-OH spiritual uno reverse card time he's having to face some shit about his own psyche and the immense barrenness it's been forced to operate under for so long.

The learning between them has of course always been two-way (that’s partially what the whole relationship is built on), but in giving up the more ‘formal’ role — mask — of teacher, garak is also opening up space for realer emotional intimacy, letting one layer of artificiality fall and allowing more realness to shine through. even so he doesn’t let go of control completely until he’s faced with irrefutable (horny) proof that julian’s sentiments and ideals are backed by real conviction — julian knows (possibly better than garak does) what is a game, and what is real, and where he draws the line between frivolous and deeply necessary is different from where garak would and by the end of the ep I think garak trusts julian more, enough to leave the story in julian’s hands without trying to steer or form him even indirectly/sneakily. And to top it all off, the way julian uses his last dramatic speech to signal that he did also listen to what garak told him… augh.  

the teacher role, along with the lies (ever his swiss army knife god bless), has helped garak keep a sort of fine-tuned control of the level of emotional intimacy possible between them, stay in control of what narratives are even on the table. and I think finally letting that fade more into the background transforms their relationship in ways that can pay off big time down the line, for all that it leaves things a bit strange and tentative in the meantime. by garak standards he’s being positively transparent in this episode. for the first time he talks about his time in the order without any coy prevarication, he states his hunger for knowing julian better right down to his ~*hidden inner psyche*~ almost pathetically openly (<3<3<3<3). And this is just my headcanon and definitely not what was meant at the time of airing, the unplanned nature of the augment reveal being what it is, but in context of the whole show as it became it feels a lot like garak offering some of his own authenticity to signal that julian could trust him with his. It feels like garak has figured out at least the rough outlines of what julian has uh got going on and tried to make this gambit, having… perhaps underestimated the extent of the defenses julian has internally/psychologically against Being Known, quite aside from the practical real world consequences of his secret getting out. Anyway. Lots in this episode. Many thoughts.

[wearepaladin]

Just for fun I’m going to write an outline for an Elden Ring story I’ll never have the time or discipline to write in full, but would be fun to think about. Basically, if Elden Ring were a novel and less bound by the classic Soulsborne mechanic of everyone out to kill you all the time and you could theoretically talk to a bit more folk before they’re running at you with fire and cleavers.

So, more under the cut for those of you inclined for a bit of speculative reading.

So I think the most important thing to get out of the way is the nature of the protagonist, who we have playing the Tarnished of No Renown in this story, because while video games are a fun means of crafting your personalized to fight your way to victory in The Lands Between, for a novel a character who has a presence in the pre established narrative would be ideal. To that end, I have speculated the ToNR’s background based on what can be universally deduced about them based on where they were buried and rose from the Dead when Grace brought them back to life.

So, to that end, I critically went over the game starting zone, The Chapel of Anticipation. It was here where we are interred, along with the ashes of two stormhawks, a recently dead finger maiden, and a Grafted Scion waiting to kill us, with the chapel built on a sea stack with a bridge presumably leading to Stormveil Castle. Stormveil, as a reminder, was originally the fortress of a Storm King, a mysterious figure whose defeat by Godfrey/Hoarah Loux in single combat is considered among the First Elden Lord’s greatest achievements. So, for the sake of the story, based on this little bit of information, I am deciding that the contender for Elden Lord will be played by a Storm King resurrected by the Guidance of Grace, awakened in their tomb to find the Finger Maiden who knew that a lost king was interred here, and where a distant Scion of Godfrey, the Grafted Scion, knew where an old enemy may one day rise.

Thus, a newly risen Storm King would have been active before the existence of the Tarnished as they are now, and indeed, ignorant of much of the current history of the Lands Between and the Shattering of the Elden Ring and ensuing wars. Indeed, depending on the timeline, they would even see Marika as the empress of an invading theocracy and not the long established god queen of the setting. It allows for a protagonist who can fulfill the role of audience surrogate by needing to get caught up on everything, but gives them a more personal motivation than simple power: they are empowered by the force that had slain them and live to see the long wrought consequences of their defeat.

Drawing inspiration from the others titled Storm King in Fromsoftware games, and the nature of Stormveil as the largest and most heavily fortified castle in the game, (arguably anyway) I’m imagining the Storm culture as martial but somewhat isolationist since we don’t see much of their influence beyond what scant remains of their legacy can be found in the castle. The Storm King thus did not combat the Golden Order until Godfrey bested them personally.

The protagonist would then have very personal reasons for removing Godrick from Stormveil castle, not to take his great rune but their ancient home. But in the process of doing so, they meet Melina and the Roundtable Hold, opening doors to a greater understanding of what’s been going on and granting motivation to not just retake Stormveil, but to adress the broken state of the world.

The story the largely goes on as it does in the game: most of the major powers that still remain would be even less inclined to parley with the Storm King than they would some Tarnished with no Renown, but there are some key differences. Limgrave’s population would have a monarch of ancient stock to gather those Sane enough to reside in the safely of Stormveil. The world doesn’t remain static and we see the side of lordship as more than being a godkilling machine, but someone who can lead and have people follow.

Godrick, Radahn, and Rykard are still slain as the three would never be able to be talked down, as they are either determined pretender, ill beyond care, or intending to devour the world respectively. Renalla is never fought as her situation never required a violent resolution. Morgott’s situation becomes much more complex, as while still quite hostile, the growing political influence the Storm King would amass in Limgrave, Liurnia and even remnants of the Redmane army swearing allegiance after the death and liberation of General Radahn, would force a more politically intriguing conflict.

I think that the Storm King would learn that the Erdtree is sealed by thorns by either “diplomacy”’(shouting matches) with Morgott or an intrigue plot involving Black Knives at war with eachother, and lead to the events of the DLC as the SK decides they are unwilling to risk freeing Frenzied Flame or having Melina sacrificed, whatever her willingness. He instead follows a third option, and goes the Lands of Shadow, seeking not Miquella, but Messmer. This would be the beginning of the second book in a theoretical trilogy, as the events in SotE would require the space Rand still culminate with the failed apotheosis of Miquella.

However, as the SK would not arrive in the Lands of Shadow alone, but with political authority tying him to Liurnia and other Golden Order factions, Messmer’s army, having awaited eons for word from home, is receptive enough to allow the SK to engage diplomatically with Rellana and eventually Messmer. Messmer learns of the current status of the Lands Between, meets his sister Melina for the first time, and decides to call off the Crusade after the failed Apotheosis of Miquella. Using his abyssal flame, he then takes his sister’s place at the Mountaintop of Giants, bringing Flame of Mesmer to the tree his mother built her empire from.

While this is happening, the Stormking goes through their own personal journey of discovery as with both the actions committed by the Golden Order and the Hornsent in turn, they find that themself asking the hard question of whether their kingdom’s isolationist policies contributed to the pogroms and cycles of violence by inactivity: could so much harm have been avoided if they or their ancestors been less hostile to the greater lands of the world?

The story then concludes as the ancient powers that have long manipulated behind the scenes interject from various angles as Metyr, the Ancient Dragons, The Frenzied Flame and the Rot all instigate their own attempts regain control of the lands between, with various part of the assembled cast facing their respective foes, Ranni and her Allies facing Metyr and the Fingers, Millicent and remnants Miquella’s followers taking control of their destiny at the Haligtree by facing the Goddess of Rot, Melina and Morgott combining their power against the corrosive influence of Shabriri and the Chaos Flame.

All the while Storm King faces first the Dragons at Farum Azula, revealing ancient ties between the dragons and the Stormking that culminate in a duel between them and Placidusax, and then a rematch between Godfrey and The Storm King, culminating in the final battle against the powers hidden in The Erdtree itself

Then, I think, a variant on the Age of Stars ending would occur. Altered to include influence from the Duskborn and Order endings.

[dominimoonbeam]

Anything

Another mugging fic!

David&Babe

tw: mugging, light angst, friendship developing, pack feels, pack dynamics

Anything

They hadn’t called him.

He’d gotten a call from the Department about an incident with one of his pack. He’d rolled his eyes at first and nodded, waiting for another report about some conflict Darlin or Chrissy had gotten into. It wasn’t that the others weren’t possibilities, it was just that Milo would have told him before the Department and Asher was out of town.

But then they dropped a name he’d never heard the Department mention to him before, not since he confirmed them being in his pack. His heart squeezed in his chest. Mugged? What the fuck did they mean mugged?

“Where are they?” He was already out the door, keys in hand.

“What?”

“Where?”

“Oh, um. It looks like they checked themself out of the hospital after making a statement to the unempowered authorities… It doesn’t look like they broke covert although the report does suggest the assailant was empowered…”

David felt sick, teeth too long and hand shaking around his keys. It was too much information at once, all tossed out carelessly by this desk clerk on the phone like none of it even mattered. Hospital. They had been taken to the hospital? What the fuck had happened? And who had mugged them? And why, in the hell, did this asshole think David gave any fucks about covert?

“How injured were they?” he interrupted. They’d been taken to a hospital, but they seem to have left on their own. David wanted to find comfort in that detail but he couldn’t, because he knew for a fact that Babe could and would push through pain and illness. They would sooner walk home with a broken leg than ask someone for help and risk being a burden.

Fuck! Now he was worried they were walking around on a broken leg.

“Um… It looks like they were treated for some cuts and scrapes. There’s a note about a possible concussion but the doctor didn’t seem overly worried.” And the empowered clerk on the phone didn’t sound worried either.

“Cuts?”

“And scrapes.”

David ground his teeth. “What makes you say the assailant was probably empowered?”

“Oh. There’s a note about them being bitten. They kept their story pretty vague though,” he sounded pleased and then huffed a smile. “The unempowered doctors gave them antibiotics in case of an infection.”

David hung up. He had to. If he didn’t, he would somehow kill this person through the phone. He immediately dialed another number, sliding into the driver’s seat of his truck. He put the phone on the dash and started the engine. It didn’t take Milo long to answer. “Boss?”

David hesitated just when he was about to speak. Babe was pack but they were human and they were so private.

“David?” Milo was louder, closer to his phone and focused with concern.

“I’m going to need your help, but I need you and Stealth to keep it quite.” It never even occurred to him to ask Milo to keep anything from his partner.

“There was an incident with Babe. I’m headed to their apartment now. I need you to find out everything you can from the department.” He took a turn and pulled into an alley beside their building, not caring if he was in a loading zone.

“Yeah. On it. Are they okay?”

“I don’t know,” he said without thinking and froze just as he was getting out of his truck.

He didn’t know.

His instincts raged, his wolf rolling under his skin. He didn’t know. A member of his pack—the most important person in the world to his best friend—and he had no idea.

“I’ll get back to you.” He hung up and used Asher’s spare key to get into the building. He couldn’t wait for the lift, taking the stairs two at a time. It wasn’t until he was in the hall that he knew something was wrong, something other than everything else wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it until he was at their apartment door.

He knocked, but already his stomach was twisting because his senses told him they weren’t there. Not only was their apartment empty, but their scent was so faint in the hallway that he knew they hadn’t been there in hours, probably not since they left for work that morning, definitely not with any cuts.

Cuts.

Bites.

His skin crawled and he wanted to growl and whine at the same time. He needed to see them. He needed to know how bad this was and do everything he could to fix it.

He scrolled his phone numbers and tried to call them. It went immediately to voicemail.

“Fuck,” he pushed the heel of his palm against his temple. Did they even have their phone? Where would they be?

He could have the pack find them. If they fanned out, they’d have them in no time. But then he would be making this moment, this day—their day—pack public. And he didn’t know yet if that was okay with them.

Asher hadn’t called him yet. Which meant, either they were on the phone with him right now, or he didn’t know yet.

David needed eyes on Babe. He needed to be able to tell Asher he was looking at them and that they were okay, or he would lose his mind.

He tried to think up places Babe would go on his way down the stairs.

Where would he go if he was unempowered and recently attacked by a vampire? They’d called it a mugging. Had the biter really robbed them? He flipped his keys against his palm but stopped one step toward his car. The hospital wasn’t far from here. Even on foot, even slowed by injury, they would have been there by now. So, if they didn’t go home, where did they go?

He called Angel to ask if Babe had come to their place. No. Angel had questions, but David promised to explain soon and they promised to call if they heard from Babe until then.

His phone rang almost as soon as he hung up.

Milo.

David answered.

“Are they okay?”

“I don’t know,” he ground out again. “They aren’t at their apartment.”

“What?”

David looked up and down the street. It was getting dark. “Was their phone stolen?”

“No. It was broken. They were on their way home from work, just got off the subway—”

David pivoted, looking in the direction of their stop.

“In their statement to the cops, they called their attacker a biter at first—said he cornered them before they could get out of the underground station and took their jacket and their bag. They didn’t have any money or cards on them so they must have left the hospital on foot. They can’t have gotten far.”

“Did they have their keys?” David started walking toward the subway station.

Milo was moving on his side too. “It didn’t sound like it.”

If David was in Babe’s shoes, he would just want to go home. He would want to be in his own space with the door locked. But if they didn’t have their keys, they couldn’t get home. They could, of course, call him. He had the spare. But he wasn’t sure they would even if they had their phone.

He descended the steps into the subway.

“I can start at the hospital and track them.”

“Are you at the hospital now?”

“I’m on my way.”

“Good.” David hung up just as the call would have cut out anyway. The air was colder underground, the lights yellow and the hallways echoing with the hum of a passing train. The afterwork crowd had thinned out and it wasn’t quite late enough for the party crowds.

He hopped the entrance and shivered when he inhaled their scent.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to explain how relieved he felt when he saw them standing there on the platform. They looked awful. Their pants were dirty and their shirt bloodstained and torn. He’d never seen them even mussed let alone a complete mess before. One hand clutched at the bandage around their wrist, squeezing as they frowned and stared, seeming to scrutinize the tracks.

For one horrific second he thought they were going to jump. They kept cutting glances up and down the tracks and shifting their weight where they stood at the edge.

“Babe.”

They jumped and spun around too fast.

He closed the distance and caught their hands in both of his to tug them that one step forward, away from the edge.

They stared up at him, one eye blood-red where it should be white and their cheekbone bruised in dark purple clouds. Their jaw was scraped up like they’d landed on the ground, matching their scabbed palms in his hands. “What are you doing?” David asked, trying so hard to keep his voice low and soft—trying not to growl or yell because of the fear that had built in his chest from the moment he heard their name on that call.

“Oh,” they exhaled and their shoulders dropped. They looked down at themself and flushed. “Sorry. It’s been a bad night. I was mugged but it’s fine.”

They didn’t know he knew about that. “It doesn’t look fine.”

They turned toward the tracks again. “I kicked my keys when he went for them and they went down there… If he got my keys he could be at my place and if he didn’t, well, I need them.” Their voice was tinny, carefully logical but fragile in that desperation.

David nodded, still holding onto their hands and very gently drawing them another step away from the tracks. “I’ll look.”

Babe exhaled hard and shook their head, wincing at a pain in their body and stopping short in the gesture. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll find them. You’ve probably got someplace to be.”

David stared at them. Was it shock or did they really think he was just passing by? He folded their hands inside of his. This was the first time he’d ever touched Babe. Pack was very physical but David had never been good at building those relationships. With other wolves, it was easier. It was simpler. With the non-shifters in the pack, it had always been so much harder. He knew now that he’d made a mistake when he thought that was okay—that he didn’t need to build on those bonds as well. Babe was looking at him like a work associate being nice to them on a rough day. It was polite but unexpected and certainly unnecessary. They expected nothing from him.

“I don’t have anywhere to be. I came here looking for you,” he said, their hand spasming in his.

They looked down at their joined hands for the first time, as if just now registering the contact. And then their eyes widened and their face shot up to seek his gaze again. Their words rushed out of them. “I didn’t break covert.”

It was a gut punch.

They pulled their hands out of his and took a step back, chin pressing high as they tried to stand taller. “I would have let you know after… After I got home. I just…” They looked over their shoulder at the tracks and their lost keys again, frowning.

David nodded. First problem first. He could do that.

He stepped around them and up to the edge of the platform, eyeing the shadows until he spotted the bundle of keys on a ring. He jumped down.

“Be careful!” Babe rushed to the edge.

David could hear the trains and knew exactly how long he had. He snagged the keys, pocketed them, and jumped back up onto the platform. He was just turning them toward the exit when Milo came down the steps, slowing and stopping at the sight of them.

“Hey,” he said to Babe, gaze flicking over the state of them.

David heard the way the other wolf’s pulse quickened, the edges of rage tucked behind his teeth.

Babe sighed, shoulders drooping as they started up the stairs. “I guess this is a thing now.”

Milo frowned and turned to follow them. “How was this not going to be?”

David shot him a warning look but Babe didn’t wither under the badgering tone. They sighed again, a little groan of annoyance now. They were slow on the steps but neither shifter was going to rush them.

“I mean, I figured I could go home and clean up before it had to be public knowledge that I got mugged. Asher is going to be—” They stopped and swung around.

Both shifters stopped, arms out to stabilize them if they were falling over.

“Does he know? He’s going to panic and think I died.”

David blinked at the rush of words. He shook his head. “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first.” He really just wanted to see them—to be able to tell his best friend that they were in one piece and breathing.

Babe sagged in relief, nodding, almost slumping into the railing with the weight of it. “Good. Good. Just, let me clean up and I’ll video call him. That’ll be better.”

David wasn’t sure it would be, but he nodded.

Babe started the upward march again. David had never realized how many fucking steps their were until he watched this human drag themself up each one. He could swear he could hear Milo’s teeth grinding on the effort not to pick them up—the same as his.

“Do you know who it was?” David asked, trying to distract all of them while getting a little information.

“What?”

“The biter,” Milo helped.

Babe jerked a little, free hand flying to the bandage on their wrist. “I’m not going to turn am I?”

Milo laughed.

David groaned. “No. Asher really needs to take you to those classes…”

They exhaled tired relief. “Never saw him before. He cornered me and tossed me around. Bit my wrist and then laughed. He wanted my stuff, my phone, my keys, and my wallet.” They swallowed, looking up at the last stretch of steps.

David squeezed his fists until his fingers popped to resist scooping them up.

They continued to walk. “But my phone was busted from his initial attack and the keys I’d kicked. The next train was coming in. He took all my cards though and said…” Babe stopped then they reached the sidewalk atop the steps. They took a deep breath.

“Said what?” David asked.

They opened their eyes and looked at him, not seeming to know what he was talking about at first.

“What did the vampire say?”

A shudder rocked them when they remembered and it was like watching a person remember to be afraid. “Oh.”

“Babe?”

They looked up the street toward their building. “He said he’d see me later.”

Milo growled low in his chest and David felt relieved at the sound if only because it was the echo of the one he was holding back.

Babe looked at them both. “He didn’t mean it though, right? I mean, that’s just something someone would say to scare. There’s no reason for him to bother with me again.”

David frowned. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

Babe nodded like he was agreeing with them, relieved and started down the sidewalk.

David tipped his head toward Milo, who hadn’t moved a muscle. “Find him,” David growled. “Get Darlin to help you and hunt him down. I want him in pieces in a box by morning.”

Milo nodded once and was gone.

David joined Babe, close at their side but not quite touching, always ready to catch them or buffer anyone else out of their way. It was one of the longest walks of his life but they both sagged in relief when they reached their apartment door. For a second Babe thought they’d lost their keys again, until David pulled them from his pocket and unlocked the door.

“You don’t have to stay,” they said when they were inside.

He shut and locked the door. The lock was just for them. Nothing was getting past him.

Babe let out a little laugh. “I’m going to clean up, okay? I’ll call Ash after that. Just… Just wait, okay?”

David nodded and stayed in the living room when they headed down the hall to their bathroom.

He kept his senses focused on their breathing, hearing it even through the shut door and the spray of the shower. It took everything he had not to move when they started crying. They needed that moment alone and he wasn’t going to take it from them. He was going to pretend he hadn’t listened, even if he was, even if he had to just in case they passed out.

He texted Angel to let them know that he had found Babe, everything was okay, but he’d be over at Asher and Babe’s for a while.

-

Babe tried not to cry. Really they did. It was stupid. It wouldn’t help anything. Oh god but it had been such a bad night. They’d been so scared and then so embarrassed and now they were a mess and they’d have to call Asher and he’d feel terrible and the whole pack knew and it was going to be a big deal and how could they even convince anyone it wasn’t when their face looked like that!

They stripped down and bunched all their clothes into a tight ball, cramming them down into the trash and then tying off the plastic bag and throwing it into the corner. They felt like a mess. They felt out of control and like everyone was looking. It made their skin hurt.

They showered, trying not to wallow and take too long because they knew David would still be out there. Poor guy was stuck having to sit in their living room, thinking they were falling apart. If they could show him they were fine he’d probably feel okay to leave.

They cried some more in the shower, hoping to get the last of it out. They cleaned up, dressed in some soft sweats and a hoodie with long sleeves. Their palms throbbed, the scrapes deep and matching the ones on their jaw. It was going to look even worse tomorrow. And their eye… they could barely look at it, the white gone red.

When it was as good as it was going to get, they marched back down the hall to their living room. David wasn’t there. Their heart lurched but just as soon as they’d started to panic that they were all alone, they found him in the kitchen. He had the fridge open but had stopped to stare back at them. “I forgot that living with Ash, there’s never any leftovers.”

They exhaled, letting some of the strain in their chest go with that breath. “Yeah. I can make you—”

He shot them a look that was between outrage and shock. “I’ll make us something. What do you want?”

“Oh. You don’t have to.”

“French toast, right?”

Babe stared at him, the sleeves of Asher’s hoodie bunched up in their palms, pressing into those scrapes. “What?”

“When we do pack get togethers overnight and make waffles or pancakes in the morning… Ash always asks for French toast,” he said as he pulled the eggs and milk out and then found a loaf of bread. “He never used to ask for French toast. He has a whole thing about pancakes being superior to all other breakfast options. He started asking for French toast when you joined.”

Babe felt heat rush their face and something ease in their heart. They sank into one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter, nodding. “Yeah.” They loved French toast.

David nodded and then took out of phone and waved it over his shoulder. “Do you want to call or do you want me to?”

Tears stung their eyes. It was stupid. Everything was fine and they just needed to let Ash know that.

They held out their hand and David passed them the phone.

It wasn’t hard to find his number and it only rang a couple times before that voice they’d been missing so much picked up.

“Hey buddy. What’s up?” Asher sing-songed, thinking it was David calling.

He was on some trip to meet and get to know other packs on the continent, a gathering out in the wilderness to build relationships. Baby sighed.

The levity was gone from his voice. “Babe? What are you doing on David’s phone?”

How the hell were they supposed to say this? “Everything is okay. Everyone is okay. I just… My phone is broken.” True but not all of it. They closed their eyes. “I got mugged in the subway and my phone got broken. David had to walk me home.” Nope, not quite. “There was a police report and I had to go to the hospital, but I’m okay and I didn’t break covert or anything.”

The pause seemed long even if it was only seconds. “Oh Baabe,” he said so gently that their heart melted. “I’m so sorry. You’re sure you’re okay? That must have been so scary.”

They exhaled so much relief, dropping their head forward onto their folded arm on the counter. Thank god he hadn’t freaked out. They weren’t sure they could handle that right now. They just wanted normal. “It was but I’m okay.”

“You’re home now?”

They nodded and then remembered they had to actually say it. “Yeah.”

“You’re so fucking tough, Baabe. I’ll be there in the morning.”

They sat up, dragging a breath. “You don’t have to—”

“You know I’m coming home. Really, you’re giving me an excuse to do exactly what I want, which is to come back to you. So just hang tight, okay? Order delivery or something, sleep in, and I’ll be there when you wake up, okay?”

Babe hummed something close to a yes.

“David’s there?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I talk to him? I’ll be home soon, okay? I love you so much, Baabe.”

“I love you too,” they said and then held out the phone.

David took it and held it to his ear.

-

David turned back toward the eggs.

“Who?” There was no smile or light-heartedness to Asher’s voice now.

“Milo’s on it.”

“How bad is it?”

“Not bad.” He couldn’t give him details without Babe overhearing. “I’ll text you.”

“Broken bones?”

“No,” he was fast to answer that.

“Unempowered?”

“No.”

Asher growled.

“Milo’s on it,” David reminded. “I’ll have it for you when you get here.”

“David…” Asher started, human voice shuddering with the effort to stay in that form when probably his whole wolf was trying to shift out and run.

“Anything,” he said.

“Just… stay with them until I get there? They’re tough but…”

David nodded. He’d never intended to go anywhere. “We’re making French toast. We’ll be here when you get back to town.”

Asher grunted and hung up. It wasn’t like him to be short on words but David understood.

Babe had their head in their arms again. “You don’t have to stay,” they said as soon as he started cracking eggs. “I’m probably just going to sleep.”

“Great. Then I can pick what we’re watching.”

Babe lifted their head and looked at him before relenting with a nod. “Sure. You’re a good friend. Asher’s lucky to have you,” they said, voice quiet with the soft compliment.

It made his chest swell but his brow pinch. “You’re pack, Babe. Yes, you’re Asher’s mate, but you’re also pack.” He sighed. “You should have called me from the hospital, not because this was some sort of trouble you needed to report but because you needed help.”

“I didn’t.”

“You could have used help,” he reworded for them and felt the echo of his words in words spoken to him by Asher in the past. “You could have called any of us. You don’t have to call me if you don’t want to, but Milo or—”

“My phone was broken.”

“There are phones in the hospital. You know you could have called… and I know why you didn’t. But you don’t need to need us to call us. It’s okay to just want us to show up.”

They pressed their lips, thinking about it.

He cracked another egg. “And stop worrying about covert.”

They looked up. “But you worry about covert—”

“Yeah. It’s my job to worry about it on behalf of the pack. You don’t need to give a shit about it. When someone hurts you, all bets are off, and I will handle everything else.”

Babe blinked at him and then finally asked. “The vampire isn’t going to come back for me, is he?”

David huffed, looking for the cinnamon on the shelf. “No. You don’t ever need to worry about that.”

Babe sighed and nodded. “Thanks.”

“Any time.”

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: Your Manifesting Analysis | Tarot Edition

Disclaimer: readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what confirms and not what confuses. I’m reading a 9-card tarot spread about your manifesting style, and an extra general message. Both conscious & subconscious manifestation, both things physically worked for and spiritually manifested. You create your own fate. This is called “tarot edition” as I would like to make a Lenormand edition eventually :]

Links to help Palestinian families, even $1 helps!!! Family #5 is very close to the goal!! 1 2 3 4 5

pile 1 𓇼 pile 2 𓇼 pile 3 pile 4 𓇼 pile 5 𓇼 pile 6

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 1

[Wheel of Fortune rx, the Moon rx, four of wands, two of wands, the Emperor rx (clarified by Jera), Justice, the Lovers, the Master, We Are the World rx]

Helloo pile 1! I loved you guys’ energy, it was so unique!  There’s a lot of scenarios that don’t necessarily overlap; don’t force anything to fit. This pile has a complicated relationship with conscious manifestation, especially seen in the first card being the Wheel of Fortune rx. But, you have a very strong manifesting power if you wanted to tap into it. You’re aware of manifesting techniques and could be very observant when it comes to patterns between your mind and real life. But, there may be something off-putting about using this personally. A lot of you feel like you’re messing with the natural order if you consciously manifest. You could feel hesitant to change your environment or affect others’ lives. Some of you feel it’s pointless to manifest things for yourself, you’re not sure if you want to try, or you can’t choose something to go for. This could be because you’re very upset with the state of the world, or you’re more focused on your loved ones, so you’re like “we don’t have time for this!” with personal desire. There’s a constant focus on others. You may make collective justice and balance your responsibility. Or, feel like it’s a job/mission to take care of loved ones. I don’t get people-pleaser vibes; your brains inherently function this way. Many of you take the state of the collective personally, like a personal failing. You could have blamed yourself for things that happened in your environment, like family financial issues or relationship issues even when there were other factors. There’s just a gigantic pool of latent potential and a purposeful way you currently don’t use it to the fullest. This doesn’t mean you don’t manifest, but that your energy is on the passive side currently. You may prefer observing what naturally happens, or you’re always waiting for the “right time.”

You manifest naturally for others, particularly loved ones. You automatically think of the collective before yourself. Not necessarily because you want to be a helper or be liked, your mind just functions in a wide perspective. Someone could mention something specific they want, and then within the week they (or both of you) suddenly have the opportunity to do that. Most of you are aware of this pattern and it mostly happens without trying, but you’re not opposed either. 

This pile is very open & accepting. You’re understanding of walking one's own path and of light & shadow coexisting. You accept people as they are and not just their potential, and this may be part of why you’re not as drawn to conscious manifestation. You have gigantic compassion for humanity, and it empowers manifesting for others. You show what's possible, not just materially but also as a great learning environment. I don’t think you necessarily like people themselves so you could be like :| but you give others space to be as they are even when you do have higher hopes. That’s compassion—an expression of  love, even if it doesn’t feel like what you’d consider love. You may have associated with people from many different areas of life, including those looked down upon (or you yourself have come up from rougher places). People who don’t understand you may view you as silly or naive, but most of you know what you’re doing. It’s ironic, your compassion fuels your abilities but also fuels a lack of interest in using them.

Your easy-going tendencies act like a magnet. People may easily get comfortable after knowing you for a short time (I see a random person gravitating towards you in a quiet lobby and suddenly chatting you up). Or, you’re very adept at reading others, so people don’t necessarily need to tell you a lot for you to know. But, you guys need to be careful of who’s allowed in your energy. Hold on before you lose interest because ik most of you don’t gaf LOL. But people get very deeply interlinked with your energy to the point where your realities can mirror. The example I got is a friend could lose a job but get another one very quickly, and then the exact chain of events happens to you. You should care about yourselves too. I’m not picking up on esteem issues, so you may not apply advice about protecting yourself because you chose this path and you’re not doing it based on something you lack in yourself. You know what people are like and choose others anyway. But it’s still important, you need the same self care to produce your best lifetime just like others. I heard “emotional & spiritual hygiene;” be aware of how people in your energy influence your life and those tied to you (and effects can linger). Grounding & cleansing practices after interacting with others a lot will be beneficial (it can be spiritual, or it can be practical like showers and time by yourself). Be mindful of the consequences of who you associate with. If you hang out with someone who does unsafe activities, you potentially allow danger to carry over. Sometimes it doesn’t help the collective to be completely accessible, it can make it harder for others to learn (especially on a soul level, if you believe in reincarnation), and you sacrifice your learning too. What is imbalanced eventually returns to balance. 

You may notice something very specific passes through your thoughts or dreams and then you see a close manifestation of it in real life shortly after. I read this as intuition, but this pile is not as into spirituality as others so you may take this as pattern recognition. Maybe this is why some of you may blame yourself for bad things happening? Being able to pick up on patterns does not make you a harbinger of doom. Life is a group project, many things have to transpire for one event to potentially occur, don’t make everything your personal burden. Take care of your mental health even when you feel ok.

Message [All Must Have Prizes rx, Bluff (Jupiter in Gemini, 3rd house), Woman, Scythe]: 

You may be moving out this energy already, but there’s emphasis on releasing people-pleasing tendencies, even if you’re not doing anything with that intent. There may be an impending situation where it’s impossible to please everyone. You may only have enough resources/ time to give one person/group/yourself, or you might have to say something that doesn’t make everyone happy. This pile is used to diplomacy or bluffing through since you’re intuitive & good at reading others. But, this situation may show that diplomacy is not always the highest outcome, or the extent of what you don’t know can surprise you. A possible example is you could be surprised by the extent someone goes to get something, or someone could have an unexpected reaction to you. It’s not that you can’t work through this, but your immediate instincts or usual perspective may be shaken. You might need a logical perspective instead of trying to consider everyone’s emotions. This situation may seem sudden or feel like you’re on a timer, so be aware of default approaches and your blind spots. 

For conscious manifesting, pick something! For you. It doesn’t have to be big or related to someone else. Something doesn’t have to be important, amazing, or a passion to manifest it. Manifesting little things that cross your mind is great practice. If you keep looking for something “important enough,” you’ll stay in a loop forever. You’re not taking away from someone else by getting a treat. Focusing on your own thoughts and desires will help you find what’s left to be discovered in you. Treat it as an experiment, game, or side quest if that makes you more likely to do it.

Most of you had a vacuum of support you had to fill. Maybe most around you are not quite where you are in your journey. They may be more unstable, not as responsible in decision-making, less independent, or in more shaky times. Not to say you don’t have your own problems, but when you look at the lessons you go through by yourself these days compared to those around you, others seem to have more “imminent” needs, a crisis, or are asking for more support (this can just be how it appears). It’s like you’ve reached this place in your journey where there’s not many others who you can reflect off of constructively, have new experiences with, or an even exchange. If you read collective readings, or you hear advice, you may already understand it on an intrinsic level, so you don’t take it in very much. You’re used to everything and just looking towards others and helping. This is what has created a blind spot. If a situation like I described above happens, it may throw you for a loop because you’re not used to your wisdom or observation skills not working as usual. You’re not used to hearing new things that feel applicable to your life. And you’ve been looking back towards the collective so long to lend a helping hand that your own path forward is also in your blind spot. But, it’s still there. You have your own page in the collective story. Maybe this can be something to manifest, new experiences or people that advance your journey and show what’s left to learn?

Extra Details: swimming or hanging out in water (I saw really clear ocean water but could be a pool/etc), blocked/ “stuffy” heart energy,  Virgo rising/Libra 2nd house (twin), Libra rising/Sun/Moon/Mercury/Jupiter/ stellium, Mercury as a dominant planet, valley or west coast accent [US], living vicariously, apathetic or appears so, blaming yourself for negative events, Masochism by Ky Voss. I’m picking up some of you hang with a rougher crowd but if you feel unsafe around one person in particular pay attention to that! Sisyphus, songwriting (don’t give up hobbies just to focus on others!), not knowing where you stand with a higher power or the universe, feeling like you have a higher mission/calling for the collective, food service (servers/hostess), projector or reflector human design type, craving hamburgers, drawing/doodling (esp fanart?) or some kind of crafts (this may be something to try rather than something you already do), stationary, Quizilla, left-handed or ambidextrous, feeling like any change is too much/too fast, going along with what the other person in a relationship wants even if it's not preferred (especially pacing?), could be a lot more dominant or self-assured than you appear, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

Specific message: I keep getting some of you drawing connections between yourself (especially your body) and what happens around you but not in a positive way—maybe you use this as reason to deny yourself. You might have masochistic habits & thoughts. You need to apply a continuous, conscious effort to curate your life and change those thought patterns. Take care of yourself and don’t try to carry the whole collective. It’s not a disservice to tend to yourself and let others work through their lessons and wants, everyone needs their own learning experiences. Go to doctors if you have health concerns; don’t draw random conclusions!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 2

[8 of Hearts rx, Temperance rx, Four of Swords, Going with the Flow, Success (clarified by Uruz), New Vision, Wheel of Fortune, the Emperor rx, the Moon]

Hi pile two! You excel at emotional transmutation, taking upsetting or imbalanced circumstances and transforming them. This returns you to a more stable state and fuels manifestation. Though all imbalanced things must eventually return to another state, you speed up this process through will & determination. I don’t get that you’re very spiteful but the energy is similar—the brute force of doing something just because you can. You take what would be major roadblocks or letdowns and use them as a drive forward. You might appear naive, flighty, or like you have unrealistic dreams, but then shock people when you do what you said you would or get where you said you’d be. This is not to say you don’t experience disappointment or low moods, but they energetically move you. You may be motivated by your loved ones’ wishes or moods too. There’s a “fake it til’ you make it” vibe; in day to day as well as manifesting. However, Temperance rx indicates an imbalanced approach. I see you giving 95% of whatever effort or thought you need to put in, riding on the motivation of it being a new idea or wanting to see if you can do it. Afterwards, you may quickly lose interest or move to something else, letting it come to fruition with the initial effort. You may get re-interested and return little by little over a long period, but I feel you put in big bursts of energy rather than a steady amount over a long time. This can cause random timing, some things happening very quickly and others taking years and years—you may forget you were supposed to be working towards something until years later. Others see the surface level of this, getting randomly interested and dropping things, and don’t see how loose ends get tied up over time. This is why you may have that surprising effect. I also pick up lighthearted energy when approaching challenges, which helps you to tap into emotional alchemy. That doesn’t have to be being sad and writing a song about it or something. It’s more about how energy produced by emotional movement keeps you going—literally you have “going with the flow.” Instead of sitting in one thing too long and anchoring yourself to that, you have a deeper sense of self, not needing to attach to one state or idea. However, you may be used to things finding a way to work out, so things that ask for a more continuous effort may get to you. Remember to return to your fluid nature if you find yourself obsessing; you just need to shift your mindset and approach. Especially if you only tried spiritual manifestation methods, as you may default to those and feel like you can’t go do something for some reason? Ask yourself what’s the unfulfilled need that’s making you hound over one thing; how can you provide for that need? If you have physical restrictions then you need creative methods when you feel trapped, such as online resources, or I see you mailing something.

Success as your center card? More likely than you think! Many figures in your cards are look upwards. There’s also angels and a monk. A major factor in your approach & manifestations may be belief placed in a higher power (or yourself/life, if you don't believe in one). I’m not getting very traditionally religious but a personal inner knowing. You may pray a little bit, though I feel like this pile generally likes to do it themselves. These cards reiterate the message about things returning to equilibrium. This is also a present message. If you’ve been experiencing a lot of little challenges—but you’ve continued to work with your shadow & perspective, you may soon embody a celebratory energy. However, returning to 0 applies to high points also. Make the most of times you like because these too eventually shift. Knowing this makes the dance smoother. You may feel like you’re going along with this energy rather than it coming from you. The metaphor I think of is a parade (that’s what’s on this success card) or being at someone’s party. Like the vibes around you are temporary but you enjoy the ride. For some there may be a specific person or group who will be riding out this energy with you (or you with them). In terms of overall manifestation, your cards suggest success with whatever approaches you use to bring your interests to reality. It may not be perfect but it’s suited to you, because you acknowledge your changing mind, emotions, and self. It’s hard to completely trap you in an energy because you don’t hold yourself to who you were 2 minutes ago. You may switch between physically working on goals and letting your faith do some things. You’re like a cheetah using its tail to stay on target during a chase—even if you have to change your approach or yourself you do it almost without thinking. Some of you recognize this but struggle with manifestation; there may be a disconnect with the constant shifts you go through, whether that’s in identifying your moods, or a need to develop grounding habits to cope with changes. 

I know this is a controversial phrase, but this pile takes “delulu is the solulu” as a life approach. Law of assumption could be relevant, or other manifesting methods where you feel the wish fulfilled. You keep it pushing regardless of what’s physically in front of you. You find little point in focusing on what is/was for too long and would rather find joy in your wildest dreams. For example, even if you didn’t get into the school or job you wanted at first you may continue to imagine what it would be like and just reapply. You could romanticize your life a lot, so you find some way to feel like you’re already living your best life. You may do this as a manifesting method, but it seems like who you are as a person.

A few of your cards were also in pile one’s reading (different decks). You don’t seem as averse to manifesting for yourselves, but if you were already drawn to that pile, some of it may be significant. It could also be relevant to someone you know or a different part of yourself (you have dual characteristics so maybe you embody this pile half the time and that pile the other half).

You have detached energy without purposefully detaching. You may hold the same goals for a long time even when it seems impossible, but you accept this and let time do its thing. You may really enjoy the mystery of “craving” something, the excitement and anticipation. Specific people here may have felt content with one-sided love or something similar without trying to go after the person or thing you loved? Seeing them or loving it was enough. You can appreciate the depth of desire as much as the satisfaction of getting the desire, very cool! This appreciation helps keep your wheel of fortune turning, like gratitude.

With the Uruz rune, something about you embodies manifestation itself? It’s like you understand the willpower and determination associated with manifesting, even against odds. You exercise this energy through acknowledging the process of manifesting— reality as it plays out, and not just the end story. Living is a success for you (?). Maybe something about your life is against the odds, maybe some of you are survivors? You have a very dynamic & active energy. You may struggle to tap into this all the time with chronic mental/physical health struggles, but you have a huge well of determination running under you even when not accessed.

Message [Curioser and Curioser, Riches (Saturn in Capricorn, 10th house), heart, bouquet]:

I got a lot of different potentialities so don’t force anything. The broadest explanation of what may be manifesting is your curious nature and willingness to live outside the box will have a good payoff. You kept questioning, researching, or engaging with something to learn more and now you’re making a discovery. This could also refer to choosing to follow along with something even though it’s not traditionally accepted. This may have been a long process or a struggle where you didn’t have a lot of support from those close. But, following your heart and continuing your pursuit of knowledge or skill—especially something unconventional or “never before done”—has culminated in something satisfactory. You may also receive something of physical value, especially through a relationship (not necessarily romantic, this could also be something like recognition at work or in a hobby, platonic gifts, even something from an institution like the local government?). An event that happened or will be happening at night is significant to this situation (or maybe you accomplish a lot at night).

Some of you have a connection to gaming. You could stream, work in game development, or may be playing a game that’s important to you. You may receive some kind of breakthrough in this area, have an idea for your game that really helps development, or if you’re playing something then you may have a breakthrough in the game lol. Especially if it’s a horror game.

Some of you are songwriters or another kind of writer. Many of you didn’t have family support on this but you may soon have an idea with a song or plot point. Or experience positive recognition for your work.

Tbh what came out here is freaky/18+ and I don’t wanna go there 😅 I will say if you’re in a relationship, you may soon learn more about your partner through intimacy; you may both open up to each other in a new way. Especially if this relationship is unconventional or very unique somehow, or if you were with this person out of curiosity? Maybe they were hesitant to talk about something important and you kept wanting to know more. You may enjoy a new activity with your partner you both like, maybe playing horror games or doing something with an adrenaline rush. If you’re not in a relationship, you may be receiving something heartfelt, important, or passionate. Or otherwise having a similar moment.

[CW traumatic event, family trauma] If something awful was done to you (especially by family) and you have been researching something regarding this, then some of you may find something that helps you better understand this event. Could be something that happened at night.

Extra Details: the scene where Patrick’s like “BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO!,” “THIS IS SPARTA!,” misunderstood as spiteful, upbeat or jokester, the tortoise and the hare (could embody both), talks or types in long sentences, S Asia, Non-traditional faith practice, making spirituality/religion contemporary, spiritual tattoos & art (especially Buddhist), stick-n-poke, blue & red tattoos, 2000s pop/internet culture, dualistic, yin & yang, Taoism, Libra (especially ascendant), retrograde natal planet in Libra/ Taurus/ Sagittarius (esp Mercury, Venus), trees, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, manifesting generator or reflector human design type, “if you don’t succeed try and try again,” “mind over matter,” relying on others physically, maybe you talk to your boss more than average or work closely with a supervisor, disabled, treated as naive. Office job with a lot of meetings or projects, development/tech/promotional work (your team may bring creativity to what the company does). May work with executives. Many of you seem indifferent or have a disconnect with the work environment. “Malcontent." Sonic, Gameboy, Undertale, 33, Cinderella especially the Grimm version, investigation about something that happened to you, work bonus, forbidden fruit—maybe a taboo or heavy relationship, some of you are restricted by family and your relationship rebels against that, or it’s helping heal inner child trauma. Some of you, for medical or cultural reasons your family has access to everything you do—even like a conservatorship. Be mindful of watchful eyes if so! Don’t get so excited you do something physically risky (having someone over when it’s likely to be caught, not using protection, etc) or let secrets slip. A relationship to the Earth, whether this is your mindset or being vegan/vegetarian, fruit gardeners? Could describe a partner. Night, esp late night is very significant. Lover with many earth placements, air mail, using physical activity to shift mood

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 3

[Silence, Politics, Mind, Knight of swords rx, the Chariot rx, Page of Pentacles, King of Wands, 4 of cups, 5 of wands rx]

Hello pile three! Tapping into your inner self, your inner “silence” is very important for your manifesting, but this may have been a struggle. When I imagine your inner self I see a calm void. Like the vast emptiness of the universe. But, on the outside, there’s a persona you’ve defaulted to. This developed so you could maneuver your environment or handle trauma, but now it’s entangled in your sense of self. It makes me think of a computer program that doesn’t exist anymore. Like if you click on a shortcut to a program that was deleted or moved. There’s this disembodied or dissociative energy when it comes to external behavior, like you’re acting on muscle memory. You could suddenly realize you’ve been talking to someone for the past 12 minutes but have no idea what was being said, but almost every social interaction may feel like this. There may be some kind of mental block that stops you from looking deeper within, such as chaotic memories or thoughts. You may have convinced yourself you must be a certain way even though it doesn’t feel right. This may be a blockage with vulnerability. It’s like there’s your inner self, and this persona is one manifestation of your inner self, and the “inner silence” is another, but the former creates blockages to accessing the latter sometimes. You might feel like you need to protect the inner version of yourself or your pride with your persona, or like if you embody your inner self that it’ll be a disservice somehow. 

First, this is not an uncommon experience; it’s just the realization that you’ve changed. The pattern continues because it’s an intricate web of learned behavior; it takes time to unthread. A serious reflection of whether your thoughts and actions align with you—and how you’ll respond if they don’t—may be necessary. I’m hearing even if you need to go one by one through a list of your thoughts to review them. Journaling may be helpful but meditation especially will be. Of course, seek medical advice if dissociation affects your functioning. Regardless, finding some way to tap into this inner void you’ve got inside is one key to your manifesting power. Detaching from the bells and whistles of your external “setup” and connecting more personally to oneness. It’s like you need or had to decondition things you’ve been taught or “trained” to do, especially by family. What does it mean to be connected to everything for you? There’s magic in the specific relationship you form with the universe. There’s a big emphasis on silence and stillness, as one might feel in a meditative state but also to emphasize that only by detaching from facades can you “hear” or feel you. Even if you’re not spiritual and do not do manifesting techniques, this process might ground you and help you find physical opportunities; you’ll more clearly see what’s available for you. Literally for some, someone may have offered you an opportunity but you rejected it because of external influence. 

There’s energy that reminds me of ego death. That may be significant even if you’ve never experienced it. Your inner world embodies that vast feeling. Some of you feel strangely familiar with the concept, maybe you remember a feeling of oneness or no ego but don’t remember when or why? The detachment process I mentioned will help quiet your mind. I am not suggesting anyone try to experience ego death, btw.

Let go of managing others’ expectations. There’s this wealth of knowledge or “universal strength” you have just inside the door, but you can’t get fully inside because everyone is hovering on your porch and you’re too polite to tell them to leave lol. Activities that reconnect you with quiet solitude are important. You don’t have to become a loner, but whatever relationships you have require a lot of mental energy. There’s a recurring theme of juggling others’ emotions, desires, or strategizing to make it to the other side of a conversation. That is so draining. Sometimes this is the place you find yourself in and sometimes we have to do this to protect our wellbeing. However, there’s a lot of pouring into this external drain but not enough rejuvenation to return to yourself afterwards. I think your natural manifesting tendencies are simple and naturally reveal themselves as long as you have quiet space and time to decompress. That means lessening the space you give to these draining energies and creating more space for yourself. Especially if you feel like you’re going through a transformation, you may need more rest. I’m not sure if you feel others are blocking your path? This reconnection with yourself may help you feel better about that or be able to analyze the situation. I don’t think everyone in your world is a villain; I really didn’t pick up on malicious energy—though maybe what makes them draining is a lack of self awareness or a certain selfishness. But I do see there are external things that are good for you, maybe a genuine friend or someone similar, this could also be activities you truly like and not ones you do because others do them. You may need to really reflect on what these are as the person in this 4 of cups has their back turned to who’s trying to shield them. This could still represent your need to reconnect more to the true you and understand that inner you can protect itself without acts. Overall, there’s a need for things that bring out your underlying confidence. Focus on what brings you out of your head. Though meditation is a mental activity, again it’s very beneficial for this pile (or similar things where you let thoughts pass). You may be surprised by what all can manifest or be perceived in a new light without going out and changing everything around. You may feel like manifesting a better life is physically impossible or very challenging, but letting yourself just be while you explore this transformation can bring opportunities, or let you see ones already here. (Again, not sure but there’s an opportunity close or already presented to many of you). This may also discuss your relationship with yourself, maybe you feel like you have to fight a battle with yourself or have something to prove to yourself? Detach from “have to’s” and “what if’s.” 

If you’ve tried thought-based manifestation techniques, you may prefer other methods while your thoughts clear. Maybe during or after meditation you can “listen” to what desires you have and separate these from old or external ones. Or, exert physical effort into what you want. Though, I do feel this period is more about relearning yourself rather than manifesting everything.

Message [A Moment’s Regret, Ostentation (Saturn in Taurus, 2nd house), Coffin, Man]: 

This message is about the personality hurdles mentioned above, but another side. What I’m getting is most of you could compulsively act out old behaviors because there’s something you dislike about your present self. In your transformation, maybe you did something hurtful or regretful, and that has turned you off of exploring who your new self may be. Maybe there’s also an aspect of your lifestyle you want to bring forward but you’re unsure how to do it, or you don’t want to lose some of yourself. Either way, there’s some way you’re indulging in these behaviors, people, or places that no longer serve you, but it’s coming from a blurry perspective. While reading your cards I heard the word “integrate” a lot. If you did something you regret, you need to integrate those emotions into your conscious mind so you can purposefully choose how to interact with that part of yourself. Shying away from something internal will not make it go away. It’ll fester in your mind or subconsciously direct you. If you’re afraid you might do something you regret if you live as you are, you may need to integrate other lessons related to shame and lack of trust in oneself. Especially because whatever this is seems tied to your sense of security and self, whether that’s material resources or a more abstract fear regarding security. We all do things we regret. Being able to face and accept these parts of ourselves is crucial. This is a call for shadow work and reflection. It’s time to end the control these patterns have on you. Also no offense but as I read this I kept wanting to laugh for some reason. Whatever you’ve done that you'd rather not think about may feel very big because it’s steeped in emotion. But, from an outsider’s perspective, most of you have actually not done something so terrible that you need to hide away. I think in the future, you’ll look at it and be like no way this is what I was so caught up on. It’s like you’re despairing, slamming your fist on the floor and your guides/higher self are looking at you like “lol." I know it’s hard, but the laughter stood out to me, so maybe humor can help you integrate or when you finally do you’ll have a much different perspective on life. Either way, integration is important, and it can help you access your manifesting potential. Also, integrate hidden versions of yourself with your apparent personas.

Extra Details [alcohol/substance use, DUI mention]: peanut butter jelly, family w problematic beliefs, strict or conservative family, [name] Christina, tradition, really patriotic family/friends, regretting something you did to show off/out of spite/ because you could (for some, a friend got arrested because of a thing your group did?), family trauma or pressure, calculators, one close friend who understands you, lingering regret or shame, avoiding change to avoid the past, politics, period of regretful financial decisions, friendships built on falsities/ old versions of yourself, not trusting yourself with resources, fiery or “dynamic” personality in the past (to compensate?). Attack on Titan, pine trees, bullying, strained mother relationship, personality duality or two sides of you that seem irreconcilable, your friends may have helped you through times you felt less nurtured but now maybe your lifestyles are different, “wildcard” friends (never know what they’ll say or do), Jekyll and Hyde, partying, unsure when you should speak up, using friends’ transportation, blackouts, childhood friends (like infancy), zombies/zombie apocalypse (something about zombies at night idk what this is, I see Halloween costumes/makeup, or goofing around at night in creepy places. Or substances make you or someone else feel like a zombie), drunk walks, regretting old habits or things you did not sober (don’t DUI but if you did in the past, integrate it and move forward), morning-after debriefs, rich friends. Some of you had speech issues or didn’t talk a lot as a child—if so, inner child work is especially important; this part of yourself needs acknowledgment

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 4

[the Moon rx, King of Wands, princess of hearts rx, 6 of swords, 3 of cups, 8 of pentacles, Harmony, Celebration, Exhaustion]

Hi pile 4!  You’ve come out of a time where you were more in the dark, whether in direction or in regards to what you really wanted. This period was driven by emotion which was causing the confusion. You may not indulge your emotions as much now to retain a higher perspective. You’re not moving based on wanting something emotionally—it has to have another aspect to “justify” your attention. This is more from the cards than your energy so maybe this is a new way of living, maybe you don’t think about it too much, or maybe it’s shifting energy. This pile’s message seems relevant to this time of your life rather than in general. You’re focused on embodying this King of Wands energy—confidence & success, and your manifestation is focused on the self. If it’s not directly contributing to you, your growth, or a sense of accomplishment, you’re not really interested right now. It’s like focusing on leveling up rather than whims. That doesn’t mean you don’t want those things, but your energy is going elsewhere. This might also be because you're unsure what your emotional goals are, so you’re more focused on peace & smaller joys rather than large wants. You may not be focused on manifestation as a concept at all. I get the sense you’re going with the flow and adapting to life as it comes rather than doing a lot of specific manifestation practices. Maybe you’re not as focused on that as you used to be. If you’re still struggling in emotional confusion, focus on detachment and the self (more King of Wands energy) to connect with your manifesting abilities, and a joy of living.

You’re very connected to your subconscious right now, although you may not be consciously connected to some deeper emotions in your psyche (it’s like you're connected to yourself except this emotional ocean that’s on the backburner). This can show up as feeling guided towards certain things or pieces of information without knowing why. You may manifest information or insight easily, especially in regards to feelings or relationships. For example, you may manifest info to clarify strange feelings or “disordered thoughts” I hear (?) related to others (I’m mostly getting friends, so for example if you get a hunch that a friend is lying (by omission?), you might manifest clarity). This is also related to what I said about manifesting for the self. You may manifest a lot of self discovery at this time, or use your self knowledge to manifest other things. For example, you may realize some things you thought were “you” actually come from emotions or attachments. Or, doing emotional work could lead to a lot of discoveries, not only of yourself but also your perspective of the world. This actually might be a bit overwhelming right now, in which case meditation may help, or another practice that grounds your emotional body so feelings don’t crash through unexpectedly. I don’t get a lot of spiritual vibes, but the Moon [rx] always has a hint of that to me. Maybe most of you are not really spiritual or don’t work with intuition as a “gift,” but you have heightened awareness at this time. This may be why you’re manifesting clarity. Your feelings provide strings of thought to investigate, and the focus on this may manifest more ideas based on the original hunch. You could apply this to your professional life or whatever area you’re seeking success in. Random flashes of ideas may provide unconsidered paths to interesting outcomes. You do this more easily in your relationships, and maybe don’t notice your intuition in other places as much. But this isn't something you need to focus on if you don’t want to, especially as this pile is more in the energy of doing rather than being in the inner world where you've already spent a lot of time.

It’s interesting you got the 3 of cups as your center card and again you got another deck’s 3 of cups under it. There’s a sense of your reality being very focused on external factors right now. I feel like this represents a sense of support to lean on, whether this is social support or something else. There’s also something you’ve really poured yourself into recently. I’m not sure if this is your relationships or something separate, as I was getting something that feels like work but isn’t a job. This feels like a passion, hobby, niche, training for a career, or maybe just the amount of time you’ve poured into self discovery. Maybe the support you’ve found recently is related to this, like friends from a hobby. Either way, this is where your attention is going, so this is where many of your manifestations will be. If there’s something within this area that you'd like to bring to fruition, now would be a good time to set that intention. Visualizing before you get really focused or channeling determination into your new idea are examples of how you could apply this. Especially if you do something with your hands, like artistic crafts? What’s powerful is how you pour yourself into something functions like an acknowledgment and celebration of reality. When you become that focused (like making something, or training for something genuinely), the outside noise falls away and you pour into your will. You are literally creating—manifesting in real time. Recreating that concentration is very useful for manifesting other things. Also, incorporating more celebration & appreciation into your day will help you tap into that in a similar way—by being present. I feel like you’re already engaging in this appreciative energy, though maybe not consciously for some.

I’m getting a big message about what I said in the beginning, a time period where your emotions were confusing. For some this happened because you got hurt by friends or a partner (maybe they lied by not telling you something?). I keep hearing “blinding.” Your emotions were overwhelming at this time or you felt like you had the rug pulled from under you. To get through this, your focus shifted away from stronger emotions or previous hopes and more towards yourself + present reality. However, this is a transitory period. Like I mentioned, compared to other piles your analysis is more time specific, and this can also be seen in most of your cards being minor arcana. Being in touch with your emotions and heart is a big avenue for your manifestations. Right now is a time to gain your footing. But, eventually I see exhaustion from the amount of energy you’re pouring into balancing all these external things, and also from this emotional pain needing to be processed. At that point, it’s time to do some healing and shadow work so that you can integrate your emotions with the growth you’re doing right now. This will be a time of learning more about your emotions in relation to yourself with the new perspectives gained. For example, if you’re practicing confidence, maybe in the near future you'll to be confident even when anxious. If you’re learning independence, maybe you'll learn what healthy emotional independence looks like for you. Integrating these different parts will help you have a multifaceted manifesting ability, and also help with emotional stability. Your reality & manifesting habits may feel more concrete as your inner world becomes more “patched,” I hear.

Message [Law is Not Justice rx, Authority (Mars in Capricorn, 10th house), cross, fish]:

Your message is about commanding authority. Taking an unfair or crappy experience and deciding what you will do with it. By becoming the authority of yourself, you can take the unfair and make it fair. Not because you controlled others or changed their actions, but because you controlled your own perspective and turned what was once bad into something useful or good. And not because you need to feel good about it, but because authority transcends feeling. Instead of being controlled by the experience, you make the experience. I heard “rewriting” or “reframing the narrative.” We perceive stories by the way the narrator frames that experience. Know you are the narrator, not just a character in the story. This also applies to the characters. An “evil” character can become inconsequential or neutral if we remove the magnitude the narrative places on them, or tell the story from a different angle. That concept may have significance, even about yourself. You guys also have impending emotional work; maybe not part of this season but the next. The type of person you’re becoming is preparing you for the next season so that you’re better equipped to do that emotional analysis. It’s not that you can’t do shadow or emotional work now, that’s just not the main focus energetically.

The second part of this message is to say you’re already doing what you can to make the most of this, or you’re encouraged to try. If you've been embodying that wands energy by taking action, “owning” up to your behavior, and doing what you can to improve yourself, this definitely applies (or is a message to keep aiming for that). Yes, you've been through a tribulation that even now may seem unfeasible to get through, however this activated parts of yourself that allow for growth and success. Transmuting this pain into other energy, such as by pouring yourself into a craft, is not easy but you've been doing this all along. I feel something reminiscent of pride, but it seems to be directed at you rather than coming from you. So, I don’t know if this is your guides’ (I thought I picked up on them before)/higher self’s feelings, someone around you, my own congrats to you, or some other recognition, but you certainly have accomplishments to be proud of. Even surviving can be hard when you’re in the trenches but here you are doing it and then some! And I keep getting that you’re just doing it, you’re not even thinking about it in this way. It’s a lovely bravery to face life this way, so not only congrats to you, but know the more you transmute the old energy, the more abundance can become available. The cross is about difficulties, and the fish is about bounty, especially (but not only) materially. This is that preparation for the next season I was talking about, it is creating a cushioning, as well as endurance and victories you can rest on when you're revisiting some harder transmutations. I channeled a lot of this part; just know there’s a strong heartwarming sense of appreciation and pride for you from somewhere, whether that’s your spiritual team or maybe this is energy you can embody when you're having harder days. Keep going pile 4 pls 😁!!

Extra Details: pompompurin, flan, plushies (making plushies?). Interpreting dreams, blockage in expressing emotions (feeling your thoughts are too crazy or fragile to explain. Maybe it’s not possible to communicate, especially if not on speaking terms). Learning where you stand with others. I see an image of a wave crashing against rocks, an active/frothy ocean. That may be significant to your emotions; ground yourself and stay present as emotions bubble up. More younger people here like teens-22 year olds (just a specific detail. You might be feeling like you’ve just grown up or like you’re old? You’re not too old to accomplish something. Get creative with your resources/researching if you feel limited by age). Whatever you’re pouring yourself into seems fruitful! Tired of putting on a happy face, might see a lot of results from effort right now, fateful experience (such as a low period starting you on a better path), I channeled energy from pile 3 so if you already felt a pull it may resonate. Jester/fool, feeling goofy. Felt someone made a fool of you, or April Fools is significant. Joker card. Feeling like time is running out, fire mercury, fire or fire-earth heavy natal chart. Most recent mercury retrograde is significant. May have had car privileges taken as punishment. Or maybe there’s a current conflict about transportation, especially at work. I saw a bus or prison bus. Maybe some feel limited by a commute or there’s a link between punishment and someone’s ability to go places. Carpool, house arrest or someone brought to justice? If this is you, use your resources/be creative in how you can explore even if transportation is limited, especially online or through books. VHS, security and regular camera footage. Death penalty may be significant, working in law or transitioning into/out of law. I see someone going through these flame blowers idk if that’s relevant, maybe you're studying macabre topics such as death penalty/ torture, maybe you feel like you went through a trial by fire metaphorically, or watched something graphic (could also be flame effects at an event like a concert?). Caught on tape? There’s a link between a punishment and recorded media for some but I’m not sure what exactly, maybe even watching something as a punishment like at work or school (if this has no relevance don’t make it fit since I don’t even know lol). Processing a death from your past. Boss energy [you]

For those that believe in spirit guides: yours are coming through with happiness at your accomplishments & support for you, it’s a very strong message. Some of you are already entering that next period I mentioned, so you’re in or exiting celebration mode like one celebrates the harvest as part of prep for the next season. Congrats, even if you just survived!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 5

[8 of wands, page of wands, 8 of swords rx, 4 of wands, 4 of pentacles rx, 4 of cups, two of pentacles, the Hierophant, the Empress rx]

Hi pile five! A limitation (real or perceived) has been lifted, there’s been a perspective shift, or you’ve recently let go of something that was keeping you trapped. I got images of something being lifted away to reveal something new, someone coming out of the dark, or a cage. Now you’re excited to see what can be done with all this new energy. Though the magician hasn’t come out it reminds me of that energy, or like a kid in a candy shop. There’s innocent enthusiasm and fiery energy behind everything, or at least behind steps you take towards things you like. Even if you’re just planning or dreaming, I’m getting a sense of rejuvenation, like maybe you were not enthusiastic before but now there’s some excitement in possibilities. You’re encouraged to ride the wave of any extra energy you’re feeling, and especially use this time to build some dreams that you can act more on later. There’s also a sense of investigation or curiosity. Maybe part of this period is being interested in things you felt restricted from before, or looking into something that's piqued your curiosity. In general, your curiosity and ability to switch interest in many things can be a bonus to you when organized. Maybe this felt like some kind of fault, and now you’re encouraged to see how you can benefit from this fast-paced life, or this tendency to always move on to something else. If you do embody this, you may want to set smaller benchmarks for yourself. Manifesting is easier when you work with how you are vs how others seem to manifest. Setting a large, distant goal can make someone with a shifting life (some of you move a lot) or ideas feel bad about never reaching those , even though they operate fine from a short-term perspective. It’s not that you can’t have larger goals, but some of you need to focus on the rungs of the ladder you’re metaphorically climbing rather than just on what waits at the top. This fast-paced energy may also refer to this specific time in your life. What was lifted may actually be you. Some of you have this “up up & away” energy like stepping into an exciting era all of a sudden, and these themes are in the imagery of the cards.

This momentum you carry swinging between different interests is as I said beneficial when organized. “Cleaning” things out your energy can be very potent in inviting new things in, and you seem to be doing this energetically as you explore new things + leave the old behind. Starting new things at this time and then deciding which of those things you'd like to invest more in during the long term may be fruitful. I see you manifesting quickly when you let go of expectations & over-contemplation (“do I really want this, but what if I like this better, what if it’s all bad or I never get it…”) and embrace a whimsy for life. 

Like pile 4, your message seems relevant to the current time rather than overall. For some of you this new energy is overwhelming a bit. Maybe there's so many possibilities you’re not sure what to focus on, or maybe there’s a choice that has a lot of different options. Especially if you’re weighing your family or home life into the decision, or making a choice for yourself compared to making one for the family (was this what was trapping some of you?). It might feel like you wanted this for a long time and now that it’s more reachable you’re like well now what. Right now, what brings you joy and keeps your interest alive is a good place to return to. If you're struggling in choosing things to go for or knowing how exactly you want to polish these, return to that which makes YOU feel excited or satisfied. Focusing on that is like a resting point from which you can plan other things.

You may have struggled with knowing when to act. Maybe you read a lot of teachings on manifestation about action being unnecessary, or you were in a mental place where it was difficult to balance different sides of yourself, such as the desire to act with a desire to be faithful to your wishes. But again, I think this is about finding the right way to manifest for you. When you let go of wanting to wait for something or wanting to act/not act, and simply do and be according to how your inner self guides you, you’ll experience more stability that’s not based in the external world but something deeper. To let go of expectations is a repeating theme, letting go of how you think you should be doing things or how things should be, and simply being true to what you're feeling. Especially if you live a fast-paced life, it’s important to go with the flow instead of creating artificial rigidity or a false sense of control. When you accept your changeability, you may be able to manifest with more ease/speed (but again, the enjoyment or appreciation is also the point and not just the end). This is especially true for those that have this struggle because of teachings or expectations from family or from a sense of “tradition” & “propriety.” 

With the entire center row being 4s, there's huge stability or rest available. But, I keep getting a sense of it not being immediately accessed by you. Like when you can trust yourself, you throw yourself back into a loop of thoughts and never let yourself feel calm or stillness, and this can bleed into your manifestations or goals. Some of you do this like self punishment, or because you don’t feel like you can let yourself be calm and collected? Or due to fear about your desires. You give and take away from yourself, you constantly shove something in your face to ruminate on or be in a loop about. Some of you left this energy but maybe it’s a continuous struggle, and for many this comes from how your parents interacted with you. If your parents always shoved something in your face to do or critique, or never let you feel assured, you may be repeating this in your internal monologue. It’s like you’re standing on the precipice of peace and your mind is like BUT WAIT! If you struggle with anxiety or obsessive thoughts then I encourage using mental health resources available to you, but for many this is about catching the pattern in the moment and deciding to be present to what’s in front of you.

Message [Such a Curious Dream, Quarrel, lily, garden, Uruz]:

 I originally wrote this in the details but it came out as your message. Something about an argument between this pile and another keeps popping up. Maybe some of you wanted this, like manifesting a needed disagreement. There's a strong message about staying calm or walking away if needed. It’s not about whether it’s right or wrong to argue, but staying level-headed is much more important. Something to do with your image, reputation, or maturity, values. There’s possibly someone in the vicinity or related to this that you would not want to see you “blow up” or stoop low. There’s some kind of public aspect, whether it happens in public or others hear of it (for some this is a place of worship or about beliefs). Or, that could be a reminder you don’t have to engage if you don’t want to—you can go elsewhere. This could show yourself you can take confrontation in a dignified way, if you’ve had trouble with that. Someone/ something may try to get a reaction or do something that makes you irate; breathe! Even if you’re right, unbridled emotion takes our ability to make good decisions and say what we need to; it’s about retaining control even when a nerve is hit. It reminds me of that meme where the guy is yelling with a tiny brain and the other one is like :), big brained lol. For some, this could be run of the mill with your job and you may need to stop yourself from going ham on a customer or manager if you’ve been snapping. Don’t do things that could get law enforcement called on you, like putting hands on someone first. Not saying you can’t argue or defend yourself, but don’t do things you’ll need to clean up later. Sometimes our emotional response comes from an automatic or unconscious place, but being present and grounded will make you aware as it happens. Focus on yourself, not on trying to keep up with the argument.

Extra Details [TW burn mention]: “euphemism”, cafes (I see someone throwing a hot drink, so sorry if that happened! Or maybe there are burn patients?), Crime and Punishment, yellow & black butterflies, felt you can’t build certain things in your life because you move/ travel a lot, 4/44/444 & 8, I’m not getting black sheep energy but you may be one to do things differently in your family or to shed old beliefs (example, maybe your family believes women don’t do certain things but you’re deciding this isn’t true for you), modest or religious attire (is this what some of you are deciding on?), a family that could've been more supportive (or maybe you struggle to identify toxicity in your family because they’re usually nice or helpful), suddenly leaving home/workplace or having a major perspective shift on these, sudden/quick heated convo especially over text (esp if you’re disagreeing, or separating from family/a job?). Being reprimanded over something you wrote (already happened)? Quitting/ being fired (already happened) or maybe a dispute that happened at a public place/work, Patrick Star lol? (that ep where Squidward hires him for the fancy Krusty Krab), healing oneself through confrontation or facing unpleasant events, bravery, mind over matter. I got a lot about religion and spirituality at the end so those may have more focus, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 6

[Ace of wands, King of Pentacles, Five of Pentacles rx, Innocence, Clinging to the Past (clarified by Eihwaz), Celebration, Queen of Pentacles, 6 of wands, The Sun]

Hi pile six! You have a knack for manifesting material and creative success. With the ace of wands mirroring the Sun, you have a well of good ideas or opportunities—especially for business with these pentacles. It’s like you’ve retained a level of creativity or ingenuity that many struggle with once they get older.This may also be the better part of naivety: you’re able to bring amazing things into reality because you’re able to dream and believe instead of being limited by others’ faith. If there’s one idea or “mission” in particular that drives you, this passion is especially great for your manifestations. I also see your inner need to feel secure or establish something real for yourself does the same, especially if you once experienced more destitute times. You may have already focused on manifesting inner stability or improvement, and now there’s more focus towards manifesting this in your material world. This Sun card in particular emphasizes how great things coincide with a little darkness, and with the five of pentacles rx mirroring the ace of wands I would say that’s an important theme for you. This pile has the ability to transmute harsher lessons back into great ideas or new paths. That’s not to say you don’t struggle, but this is natural fuel for your creativity and  brainstorming. A specific message for some is you may be struggling with shedding an ingrained or familial belief, especially but not only about money? You may have been taught limiting or negative beliefs regarding prosperity and you’re grappling with whether you should keep internalizing this because it seems realistic/someone you value taught you this, or if you should be true to what you believe. It’s important to return to who you are regardless of the circumstances. Everyone must come to their own understandings; trying to be true to someone else’s reality makes you disconnected from your own. Tradition for tradition’s sake does not create growth or new stories. Pessimism is also not inherently more realistic or mature than optimism. For many of you, optimism helps you manifest, so don’t feel like this is something childish or a hindrance even if others are more pessimistic.

What sticks out is you have an amazing spread of cards that indicate ideas/opportunities, internal and external security, all around happiness and success. The Sun even came out twice; “Innocence” is another version of the Sun. But your center card is not as positive, comparable to the 5 of cups, and this “celebration” also came out in reverse initially (but I don’t usually read this deck reversed). I’m not sure if you guys are going through a hard time with past hurts or a loss right now, but the person in this center card can’t “see” the other good cards in the spread; their vision is completely blocked by the past. Trauma or pain is making it harder for you to connect with the good within and around you. This could also be old perspectives or emotions. Some of this may be purposeful, you may be staying in the past intentionally or holding onto things in a detrimental way (especially with family/home, spite/bitterness/grief? For some there’s something you physically don’t want to let go of, or you’re romanticizing something, and somebody needs to hear you’re not betraying anyone by continuing to live your life after loss). There’s a deep want for your positive qualities to be recognized (by yourself or others) despite this potentially being blocked by current emotional struggles. I feel if you focus on building this appreciation of your natural worth and talents, you’ll be able to ground yourself again. The good things around and within you are so blaring that I think even a small perspective shift will help you tap back into your potential. Even though there’s something about the past holding you, returning to your roots in a different way may be beneficial. Finding positive or healthy things about the past to comfort you rather than things which keep you in painful memories. For example, you may need to incorporate more playfulness into your lifestyle like child-you would have, or you may need to reconnect to that child-like perspective of the world. If there’s something you really wanted when you were younger or would have made you feel secure, see how you can fulfill that feeling for adult you. Maybe there was an idea that seemed impractical as a kid, but now you have the knowledge to develop it differently. If you’ve been having a hard time with loss, you may need to revisit activities or memories of good times rather than the loss itself. Basically, your feeling, nostalgia, or desire for things to be a certain way are not necessarily an issue, you just need to focus these energies into something material or an idea you can work on. A passion or certain view of the world from earlier in your studies/career could also be helpful to your manifesting right now.

Having fun and letting loose with others can also help you tap back into your manifesting potential, especially if it was people who upset you in the first place. For some, if there’s a set of people from earlier in your life that you still have a positive connection to, spending time with them may be good. It’s important to make an honest distinction between those you have a decent relationship with and those who you wish to have a relationship with but are not a positive influence on your life right now. This doesn’t have to be with others, though. Even just doing something by yourself that grounds you or makes you focus on positive emotions for a small time will be helpful. Something that connects you to your body or the physical world may be good (such as hanging out somewhere outside the home, dancing, playing games (like at an arcade/shop?), being in the sunshine, I am getting night out vibes but during the day). Cleaning may also clear stagnant energy (especially going through and organizing items from the past).

Message [All Must Have Prizes, Resistance (Taurus in Mercury, 2nd H), book, ship]:

Your message is mostly reiterating what I mentioned above. There’s this sense of life or something pulling you forward, but it’s like you don’t want to leave something in the past or you feel duty-bound to something. I feel you’re aware of this, and some of you may be actively resisting moving forward or making a final decision about moving on, especially because it may involve family or long-standing relationships. But movement is inevitable, you can slow down but never stop in life, even if you stop looking at the progression. It’s time to make peace with these things so you can move forward as your own choice instead of being dragged forward. You don’t have to perfectly master your emotions/grief, nor do you have to find a perfect conclusion that suits everyone. You either already have the knowledge and skills you need to keep going or its within your grasp. This may manifest as a lightbulb moment or acceptance for you. Especially if you've been hesitating because you’re trying to please or consider everyone in your life plans, you may soon reach a point where you don’t wish to do this anymore. Basically, a mental connection will be made that returns you to the present or your path (but the quality of this experience depends on the effort you put into yourself/your life).

Specific messages: if you've been waiting on some info regarding travel/moving, or you're hesitating on this, then you may receive that info or realization that makes the final decisions for these plans possible. If you've been having a lot of disagreements or long conversations in regards to financial/career plans (such as family trying to persuade you to a specific route), then realizations you have may be tied to this and self-acceptance of what you want.

Extra Details: I’m seeing an empty house or property, a home or neighborhood built a very long time ago maybe 150+ years, old yellowed family photographs especially wedding or new home photos, cassettes, bright-colored eyes. Dancing (maybe dance classes or going somewhere you can let loose physically would be good? I am seeing disco or 70s/80s vibes, dressing up in a way that’s fun to you may also be helpful), or if not dancing connecting with a hobby or physical activity you can really get into may be good (like a wreck room?), feeling blocked/stagnant in grief, going through old conversations or writings (may be old letters or notes), realizing you have different views than someone you care about, tropical locations, orange/gold (also orange fruit/tree), people who meant well but planted limiting/fear-based/toxic beliefs in you, Cinderella or maybe there’s a moment where you’ll feel like you’re going to the ball metaphorically, luxury or bright-colored cars (especially red/orange? I hear Mustang), renting cars or other things for trips, delayed plans suddenly moving, going through a passed loved one’s things, networking, an event that’s not really fancy but means a lot to you, or alternatively you may switch between a casual to fancy vibe on an upcoming day out/event or dress casually to a fancy event, day at the beach, heavy Taurus placements

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °