#used perchance for it

[tabl3]

elite force incorrect quotes compilation

chase, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

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chase: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. bree: All I drank was Redbull! chase: How many? bree: Eighteen.

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oliver: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. kaz, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

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kaz: You have any sunscreen? skylar: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— kaz: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

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kaz: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

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(the saga)

bree: chase? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry? chase: bree, I swear to god—

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oliver: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. chase: oliver: Vroom vroom, come out already.

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skylar: You didn’t cry when bambi’s mother died?! chase, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

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chase, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

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bree, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! skylar, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. kaz: What the fuck are you guys doing? bree: Playing systemic oppression.

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bree: Hey, oliver. These candies you gave me? They sucked. oliver: But you ate them all. bree: I had to make sure they all sucked.

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skylar: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? chase: I only like dark humor. skylar, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? chase: skylar: An IMPASTA!

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bree: I hate you sometimes. kaz: Well according to this picture chase drew of us holding hands that's not true. bree: kaz, you drew that. kaz: It doesn't matter.

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skylar: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. bree: Why’d you get banned? skylar: Touched the rat. bree: … What rat? skylar: Chunky Cheese.

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bree: Why is skylar crying on the floor? chase: She took one of those 'which elite force member are you?' quizzes. bree: And? chase: She got oliver.

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oliver: Why are you drinking? kaz: I drink when I'm depressed. oliver: But you're always drinking? kaz: smug grin

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skylar: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project? kaz: Do it or you're straight. skylar: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

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skylar: heading out to see bree oliver: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! skylar: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

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kaz: skylar has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. Everything is deez nuts. She simply can't stop. kaz: I asked skylar where she learned that joke. She made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if she told me. I agreed. kaz: So she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

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bree: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. chase: Aw… that's not true. chase: It'd be exactly the same. chase: You're not important.

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kaz, to bree: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! bree: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away chase, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call bree cute or small.

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chase, referring to oliver and kaz: Those guys are dorks. skylar: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

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kaz: I think chase is in trouble. oliver: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

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oliver: So anyways have y'all seen chase? bree: I think he went in kaz's room 'studying'. skylar: Doubt that. I heard groans there. Meanwhile in kaz's room chase & kaz, fighting:

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chase: What do we say when life disappoints us? kaz: Called it! chase: No.

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kaz: I may be stupid. bree: … kaz: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

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villain: You’re too late, Superdorks! You'll never stop me now! skylar: That’s where you’re wrong, evildoer! We WILL stop you, with the powers of: chase: Friendship! kaz: Harmony! bree: Incredible violence. oliver: And love!

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chase: out cold on the ground oliver: Oh my god, do you think he's okay?! kaz, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on chase’s face

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skylar: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting. kaz: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold. oliver: I think this message is extremely valid, but also kaz has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth? kaz: I want to set it off.

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oliver: We wouldn’t last two minutes without chase. oliver: oliver: Don’t tell him I said that.

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oliver: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! chase: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

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kaz: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. oliver: Why? kaz, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

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bree: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

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kaz: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. skylar: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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chase: I owe you one. kaz: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

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skylar: Two years ago, I married my best friend. skylar: kaz is still mad about it, but me and chase were drunk and thought it was funny.

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chase: Oh, so you two are getting along very… cordial now? kaz: Cordial? Nah, we're friends. chase: Friends? kaz: Yeah. After you stopped us fighting, we got to talking. Seems like we have some common interests. bree: We both love butterflies. chase: Aww– bree: And beating people up. chase: Oh, okay.

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chase: Everyone synchronise your watches. skylar: I don't know how to do that. oliver: I don't wear a watch. bree: Time is a construct.

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kaz: Are you reading fan fiction? oliver, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. kaz: Oh, is it on AO3? oliver: This is CNN.

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chase: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

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skylar: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t. chase: skylar, please! skylar: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

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chase: How do you do that? kaz: I'm fearless. bree: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. kaz: I'm mostly fearless.

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chase: Come on, skylar. Nobody actually believes that kaz is in love with me. skylar, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that kaz is helplessly in love with chase. Everyone raises their hand chase: kaz, put your hand down.

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skylar: We need to distract these guys. kaz: Leave it to me. kaz: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. chase & bree: immediately begin arguing

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kaz: running towards chase with open arms chase: moves out of the way kaz: Hey, why'd you move?! chase: I thought you were going to attack me. kaz: I was going to hug you! chase: Why would you hug me? kaz: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

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chase: skylar, I think we have a problem. skylar: What, the fire? chase: No, the- wait, what fire? skylar: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

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chase: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? oliver: remembers dancing to the ringtone oliver: I didn’t hear it.

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bree: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? oliver: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. kaz: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. chase: Rock also defeats baby.

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oliver: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. oliver: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

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bree, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? skylar: grabs and chugs the entire bottle skylar: skylar: It's perfume.

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kaz: I want to kiss you. chase, not paying attention: What? kaz: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

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oliver: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. bree: bree: I'm gonna tell him. skylar: Don't you dare.

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oliver: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. kaz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? oliver: NO-

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oliver: Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

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chase: What do people in relationships even do? skylar: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. chase: Okay. Didn't ask. kaz: Asks question kaz: "Didn't ask" chase: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

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oliver: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. chase: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. kaz: Wasps? bree: Terriers? oliver: bree.

[gaygirldoodles]

Leo: My therapist was talking to me and she said that I really need to break down my walls and let people in..

Leo: So I've decided to break the fourth wall.

Leo: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

[plegdoctor]

Girl help I’ve become obsessed with a robber baroness ghost and a y2k finance bro ghost

[silverbridge-harbor]

crunchy

[turds0]

Chat im trying to learn landscapes. And buildings.

[izzytheloser12]

~~~Since yall like the other incorrect quotes i've made more~~~

Kaito: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

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Akako: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

~~~~~~~~

*Yusaku goes shopping with child Shinichi*

Shinichi: Can I get a silenced pistol? Yusaku: If there’s one on sale.

~~~~~~~~~

*kaito and Aoko are having a sleepover*

Kaito: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. Aoko: Kaito, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck. Kaito: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. Aoko: Well, I mean yeah. Kaito: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. Aoko: Wait, you just made them? Kaito: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. Aoko: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kaito.

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Ran: Truth or dare? Shinichi: Truth. Ran: How many hours have you slept this week? Shinichi: Shinichi: Dare. Ran: Go to sleep. Shinichi: I don't like this game.

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Shinichi: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Kaito: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

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Kaito, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Shinichi, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

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Shinichi: Did Kaito just tell me he loved me for the first time? Heiji: Yeah, he did. Shinichi: And did I just do finger guns back? Heiji: Yeah, you did.

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Hakuba: I asked Heiji out. Kaito: Oh, I’m sorry. Hakuba: Why? Kaito: Well, I assume they said no. Hakuba: No, they said yes. Kaito: Really? Then I’m sorry for them.

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Shinichi: Fight me! Kaito: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Kaito: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

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Hakuba: Regular soda is too sweet! Kaito: Diet soda has a weird after taste! Hakuba: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Kaito: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Hakuba: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Kaito: I'm going to physically attack you. Hakuba: Which is better, Shinichi? Shinichi: Oh, I usually drink water! Kaito: Wha- NO! Hakuba: DISGUSTING!

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Sonoko: Seriously, I have no idea what to do. Sonoko: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

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Sonoko, texting: Answer your phone Ran, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone Sonoko: Understood Sonoko, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Ran.

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Kazuha: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Ran: I wrote you a poem. Kazuha, already crying: You did?

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Kazuha: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Sonoko: Did Ran say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Kazuha: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

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*Shinichi is babysitting Ayumi*

Shinichi: Come on, you need to go to bed. Ayumi: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Shinichi: … Shinichi: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

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Shinichi: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Haibara made me get tested.

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Haibara: Why are we friends? Conan: Poor decisions on your part.

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Akako: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Aoko: Ok. Akako: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

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*after Yukiko and Shinichi got into a fight*

Yukiko: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Shinichi: Climbing THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

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Akako: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into- Aoko: You sleep with a teddybear. Akako: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

~~~~~

Kaito: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Shinichi: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

[sedgwickpdf]

“i didn’t understand harrow the ninth it’s too confusing what’s the deal with the alternate timeline memory stuff blah blah blah” it is engaged with the common fanfiction trope of the AU, or Alternate Universe. AU Where Ortus Is The Cavalier. very easy. next question

[azuree1733]

Zag😛

[justaz]

s1ep13 merlin, believing he will be dead by morning, goes to say goodbye to arthur and he leans against the door of arthur’s chambers and watches the glow of the fire light his skin golden, full of color and life that it had been sorely lacking while the prince was injured. he stares at the softness of arthur’s features and pressed the line of his profile into memory for while he passes he will wish for nothing more than to see arthur one last time, his smile and blue eyes one last comfort before he passes on to the otherworld. arthur turns to stare at him and frowns at whatever expression merlin is making. the prince kicks a weak foot out at the chair next to him and motions for merlin to join him. merlin slowly shuffles over but ignores the chair completely. he stops in front of arthur who watches him with wary confusion. the tug of his lips and the furrow of his brow sickeningly endearing and merlin allows himself to be selfish and leans down to press his lips to arthur’s.

the prince is sat frozen under merlin’s touch but he can’t find himself to care much about that, not when he finally knows what it feels like to kiss arthur. he hopes that will be his last sensation before the ever consuming nothing, he hopes he will close his eyes one last time only to find arthur grinning at him and calling him an idiot before leading him into paradise where he can watch arthur smile, hear him laugh, and feel his touch for all eternity. he pulls away and leaves before arthur can gather himself to form a response, dropping the letter explaining everything on the table as he passes. so he allows himself to be selfish twice - to take from arthur and to give, to let himself know what is feels to kiss the man, to embrace his feelings for him, and to have the man know him for who he truly is. he wishes to pass peacefully with no regrets. somehow that revolves entirely around arthur.

only…he survives the whole ordeal and yeah has a gnarly scar on his chest but is otherwise fit to return to his duties. which include taking care of the prince. of arthur. who he kissed. and who most definitely know about his magic by now. yeesh.

[arthur-lesters-right-arm]

Im a straight man but if i was in a situation where i could kiss arthur lester i'd take it. is that gay

[extremely suspicious laughter] Haha why would you ask me specifically? it's not like I post about wanting to kiss that man on the mouth on the daily that would be weird... Anyways that's not gay as long as you say No Homo while you think about it! It's completely straight. I'm an expert I'm very reliable don't look it up just trust me nobody suspects a thing I've never said anything remotely gay about hi

[sieglinde-freud]

had these two fire emblem engaged for 90% of my first run and this is how i think their dynamic was

[spectralbugs]

what ive been thinking abt recently

[ganymedesclock]

I know I'm a contrarian who likes to play with villainous tropes and traits reimagined through a protagonist lens, but honestly, one that seems obvious that I don't think I've seen as a major active protagonist is "character whose singleminded desperation/obsession to accomplish Something twisted their body into a Strange Monstrous Shape".

Granted, this is because the specific variation of such I'm thinking of tends to be one where the monsterized character meets that fate to make them a credible and visually interesting threat for the heroes to combat, but it isn't as if it has never been milked for pathos even in that context, especially if any aspect of their newfound turbocharged disability is hard to control.

I think watching a protagonist having to navigate the limitations and drawbacks of being a weird meat horror, day in and day out, especially if their motivation was well-intended and they failed at it, could be a juicy foundation to build a character on, but also imagine a setting where the core protagonists are spending a given amount of time hanging out with someone who looks like a Resident Evil boss fight engaging in increasingly elaborate feats of tailoring to be able to comfortably dress their mutated body.

Now, I know there's beauty and the beast type riffs out there, but my interest with this is less approaching it as a curse the character must overcome and a kind of new normal they are adapting to and learning to care for, and if it's a karmic punishment for anything it's a karmic punishment for not thinking your health mattered when you were able to take it for granted.

Also admittedly I'm just really salty at how physical deformity is so carelessly conflated with moral failing or weakness, especially when a previously upstanding person is mutated and immediately begins to "act evil" with a framing of oh, so sad, the ruins of a man who isn't a person anymore, as if there aren't plenty of people with disabled, sick, and deformed minds and bodies who aren't becoming serial killers about it.

[incorrect-star-allies]

*The Star Allies’ first meeting*

Magolor: Tell me a little about yourself.

Taranza: I'd rather not, I really like this group.

[fisheito]

yakuya in MY swamp? in MY ecosystem? no . i am still in disbelief. i hope you all know that my particles are bouncing off the everything. i am using periods as punctuation but the state of my mind is naught neareth final.

[imprisoned-marrionetta]

*taps mic* hey, it’s been a while, your certified sahonny / ringillusion shipper is back.