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cultpastorkevin · 3 months

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Kevin Day & Grief:

how can you grieve the loss of an abuser?

aight let’s just get right into yet another psycho-analysis of Kevin Day and his messed up life; I’ll be using quotes from the EC

“Kevin does not react well to Riko's death at all, and this is a problem for a while considering what Riko's done to the Foxes. But Kevin & Riko have a long and complicated history.”

It is a very heavy and sharp type of grief to carry, when the person you mourn is someone who did terrible things to you and others. It’s not easy. It makes you feel guilty for missing them, makes you full of regret and “what ifs”. Grief is not rational, it’s something that tries to drown and take everything it can with it. Kevin is aware of what Riko was like, was well versed in the things he did and said. But he knew Riko before it all, he knew Riko when they could barely put their own shoes on. He saw Riko’s changes firsthand. He’s grieving everything that Tetsuji stole from the both of them. He remembers Riko in ways no one else ever will. The burden of seeing someone you love turn into the very thing you’re afraid of, is a heavy one to bear. It is even more heavy to know that everything that was good about them, dies with you.

Anger is always quick to rear its ugly head after the initial shock and the tears wear off, and it’s an emotionally bloody affair. Anger caused by sadness is one of the most gut wrenching kinds of anger, because there’s really nothing you can do about it but let it pass. You’re stuck feeling it, you have no choice. So yeah, Kevin was definitely angry. Angry at what Riko did to him, angry at the fact he’s outliving him, angry that he’s gone and angry because fuck, he shouldn’t be feeling this way, it’s not fair to everyone he’s harmed. For the first time in his life, he might’ve even hated Exy. All it has done is take from him the people that he loves, and playing is an eternal and constant reminder that he has succeeded Kayleigh and Riko. Picking up that racquet reminds him of his hand, and in turn, of Riko, who even at his worst was still loved by Kevin. And at the lowest points of his grief, seated in a bathtub and drunk off his ass, sorrow sometimes made Kevin wish it had been him instead.

“Wymack has to send the rest of the team back to South Carolina with Abby. Kevin is too numb to be moved yet.”

Kevin was so devastated he could not be moved; whether this is meant literally or in a “he didn’t have the energy to leave the house” kinda way, it’s still sad. Being so crippled by an emotion as heavy as grief that you cannot leave the home is hard. It’s painful. You’re dissociated and everything is a blur. You don’t register time passing. Eating, drinking, doing basic things all go out the window. And we all know what Kevin is like. He’s a routine oriented, night practice, calorie counting health nut who lives and breathes exy. He was so distressed that this man did not move and that means most likely, he did not fucking practice either. Kevin’s life ground to a halt for a second time because of Riko.

“It's a problem for a while because the Foxes' knee-jerk reaction to his devastated reaction is ugly. It'll take time for them to try and understand where he's coming from. Even Aaron has an awful opinion on the matter since he knows Riko was behind Drake. Renee attempts to play peacekeeper, but Wymack is the one who has to break his rule to stay out of their personal lives so he can try and fix things. He, Abby, and Betsy bring the Foxes to Abby's place two & three at a time to let them react and tirade in private. It's not enough, but it's a start.”

Kevin is not allowed to grieve without being guilted or punished for it in some way. He has never known a grief experience where he was completely supported during it. When his mother died, he was stuck with Tetsuji and Riko. He never learned how to grieve properly or healthily, and being attacked by the foxes for even feeling something didn’t fucking help. Wymack is the only (and probably first) person in his life who stayed by his side for this. Wymack went to the funeral, he stayed until Kevin could handle going back home. Wymack saw Kevin shatter and knew that he needed time to try to glue himself back together before the team inevitably caused him to crack again.

Wymack, Abby and Bee having to step in is all kinds of upsetting. Imagine having to basically set up impromptu vent sessions for your entire team because they cannot keep their personal feelings to themselves and can’t let a teammate grieve in peace. Granted the foxes aren’t exactly pinnacles of emotional regulation or maturity, but the least they could’ve done was leave Kevin alone (and let Neil and Andrew handle him)

“By the time they meet up again in the fall, the Foxes have attempted to forgive him his issues, because they understand from a logical standpoint that it's conditioned devotion.”

The foxes have every right to not grieve Riko, they have every right to hate him. They didn’t have the right to take it out on Kevin and isolate him even further from the group. It is a jarring feeling to be looked down on for mourning a loss. He did not need to be forgiven for his mourning. He did not need to apologize for missing Riko. His grief wasn’t something to be loathed. At the end of the day, Riko and Kevin were everything and nothing to each other. They operated on a delicate line of balance that shouldn’t have been able to be created. Their push and pull dictated every breath both of them took. Yeah, it was conditioned devotion in the end. But it didn’t start that way.

“Kevin Day goes on to be hailed the best player in the sport, the striker all future generations are compared to. The Jackie Robinson, the Wayne Gretsky, the bend it like Beckham. When the ERC constructs a Hall of Fame, Kevin Day is the first player to be honored.”

When Kevin received this honor, for a split second, he wished Riko was alive to share it. They started this dream together, after all. Only one of them being alive at the end is perhaps the biggest anguish of all.

#aftg #all for the game #kevin day #edgar allan ravens #riko moriyama #palmetto state foxes #kevin day character study #psycho analysis of aftg #cultpastorkevin

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crooked-wasteland · 10 months

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How many times does a writer have to poorly write a female character before you have to just consider the idea the writer hates women.

Every single female to female interaction in Helluva Boss exists on a sliding scale of hostility, ramping up from Harvest Moon onward. In Harvest Moon, Millie has the most meaningful interactions for her character between her mother and Sister Sally May.

Millie and her Mother do not have a great relationship. Millie's mom is constantly scrutinizing and criticizing everything Millie does. Millie is given a blatant double standard compared to her other siblings. Anything Millie does has consequences while MtF transgender sister Sally May is spoiled by both the family and the writers.

Sally May condescends her older sister constantly. Being given a position of superiority by just her attitude while the way she is allowed to get away with the same things Millie does but can't be excused for shows a clear golden child and scapegoat child. However, none of this ever gets addressed. We are meant to believe that this is what healthy and good female to female familial relationships are supposed to look like when it hinges on unfair family dynamics.

This could have been the plot to the episode. Millie is seeking a constantly critical mother's approval while watching a younger sister get preferred treatment. It would allow a ton of character for Millie. Constant scrutiny and unequal treatment have a psychological effect on children.

Madrano insists there is a sibling rivalry between Sally May and Millie, but doesn't seem to realize where rivalries come from in family dynamics. If it was a competitive outlet like a sport, that would be one thing. However, the only comparison we see throughout the episode is that mom lets Sally May do whatever she wants while Millie is left out. That kind of sibling rivalry is not healthy on a fundamental level. Kids in healthy families get treated fairly. That means that kids should be held to the same expectations in broad strokes while making room for their individuality. Punishing one kid for doing the exact thing the other one is doing without consequence is not a loving, healthy family dynamic, and it says a lot that the criticism is leveled solely on Millie. The only cis female child.

Then there is Truth Seekers. The pilot was the only point where any suggestion of tension between Millie and Loona was expressed before the two had basically no interaction with each other in the series proper. However, it is written like we should just assume they have a not-great relationship as they make little jabs at one another. Like, there is this presumption that women just naturally don't get along that colors their entire interaction. We are supposed to get this idea that they are growing closer throughout the mission but have no foundation of where they are growing from, and every "bond" made is generously coated with backhanded compliments.

Even when being kind, the characters can't help but hiss at each other with insults towards female sensitive issues like aging. It's up there with making fun of someone's weight. It's an issue unfairly targeted towards women that is a genuine source of distress in Western society. Madrano, being a woman, especially one who has openly struggled with aesthetic concerns of her own body, finding nothing wrong with characters attacking female characters for their looks says a lot.

There are additional quips of just blatant misogyny throughout season 2. The character assassination of Stella from being a potentially abusive, cold, and selfish partner to being hyper emotional and screeching all the time with no ability to have a complex throught beyond the level of a toddler. The repeated insults of "bag of holes", "pussy face" and "tit haver" by Blitz as female side characters are boiled down to nothing but the sexual qualities which are then used to demean and belittle them.

The true zeitgeist of Madrano's attitude towards female relationships is seen best in Episode 8. The early interaction of Loona and the poodle hound is vapid, which makes the hostility feel less personal between the characters and more a continuation of this female misogyny. The reasoning for Loona to become so upset is weak throughout the episode but is simultaneously felt to be justified while being a character flaw.

The poodle shows an embarrassing picture of Loona with the same vapid reasoning as Stella: I hurt you because it's my enjoyment. Seeing how this is the second appearance of this characterization, this is where I begin to believe that Vivienne had a hard time making friends with other girls in school. Instead of any level of self-awareness towards maybe herself being an unagreeable person, she assumes this was just how women are. The way she frames Loona in a lot of these scenes feels too personal. It almost feels she assumed we all had this kind of experience growing up as young women, and that is why it never gets fleshed out more.

The scene could have been used so much better with being specifically targeted towards Loona and her character. Have the poodle say something like, "Loona? Lunatic Loona? Is that really you? We thought you, like, died or something!"

Have Loona feel awkward and out of place, unsure if it's an insult or a legitimate concern, and have her toe that line of neutrality as she tries to assess the atmosphere. It shows a desire to be accepted, a very raw inner self that is quick to be triggered, as well as her lacking in interpersonal skills. She can simply pull in with a defensive, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Then, have the poodle respond with something like, "I dunno. You got adopted one day and then totally disappeared. When they didn't return you, we all just assumed you died or some shit."

It is a cruel joke that says way more about Loona than anything we have been given. It can get a laugh as well as open the door to so much unspoken lore that fans could actively explore. It actually establishes Loona's fear of abandonment that never gets set up at all throughout the series. Even Seeing Stars doesn't establish that fear, yet still tries to act like it is present in the story.

This sort of cold disinterest in Loona better fuels the level of insecurity needed to have Loona lash out the way she does. Instead of being so thin-skinned that embarrassment alone triggers her to blow up, have it be the utter loneliness that people she knows don't care whether she is alive or dead and that she lacks fundamental worth to others.

But this isn't the only massive train wreck of escalation seen in the episode. Beelzebub is a genuinely sweet character throughout the episode who does nothing to even hint at selfishness or malice. She graciously accepts an embarrassing defeat in front of everyone while Loona can't so much as laugh at herself. Loona uses Blitz's win to then elevate herself socially in the party, not actually spending any time with her adopted father.

I am genuinely confused by people claiming that Loona was defending Blitz as Beelzebub is simply telling her that her dad is not doing well and that she should check on him. Telling someone their friend or family member is self-destructing is not something anyone needs defending from. That goes into the fanbase more than the writing however.

Back to the actual episode, the line that causes Beelzebub to snap at Loona isn't when Loona accuses her of being jealous or petty, but when Loona merely states that everyone loves Bee. For some reason, that comment is what triggers a fight. It shows a fundamental lack of understanding basic human interaction. That women are too emotional that they blow up for no reason. It almost feels more at home in a JustPearlyThings fever dream than an actual serious exploration of human emotion. Add to it the deescalation doesn't come from communication or finding common ground, but by elevating the comfort of a man.

I'm not sure how many times it needs to appear in action and be so forced to the point that it doesn't even bother to justify itself, by acting like this is just everyone's experience with women, before we can call a spade a spade.

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #misogeny #misogony #misoginy #misogyny #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #these characters deserve better #this is why you need a writers room #hire writers #essay writing

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purgemarchlockdown · 7 months

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On Narratives, Victim Dichotomies and Amane’s Voting

(Also Known as: I'm sick of not being opinionated on my blog about opinions, lets talk about narratives)

(CW: Child Abuse, Cults, Child Death)

(Disclaimer: As I can imagine there’s probably going to be a lot of people reacting defensively to this so what I'm stating Right Now is that I Do Not Believe that most people voting Amane Guilty is doing it because they believe her abuse was justified. This is not, at all, designed to be an accusatory post.)

So a few days ago I read the “MILGRAM” x “Clock over ORQUESTA” interview which you can read right here.

It’s a really interesting interview and I recommend reading the whole thing but the one that caught my attention was this part.

Yamanaka: That's a difficult question... I'm always conscious of emotional control in my work, but in “MILGRAM”, the content has more live feeling to it. So the story progresses realistically based on the presence of the audience. I think I used a different brain than I have been using to create works up until now, I see it as necessary to think very three-dimensionally. I'm currently trying to turn the audience into characters in my work.

This was really interesting to read and made me immediately think of Amane’s voting.

So Amane’s voting situation is currently trending downwards, even with the initial boost from Double she's been going down slowly recently. This is in stark contrast to the large amount of innocent votes she originally got when Purge March released the first time.

Now the reason I connected the two is that I've noted a narrative being formed between the audience and Amane, specifically, an abuse narrative.

The Text

Let's take a step back to the T1 voting landscape, one that I was admittedly was not apart but I do however know what happened. Amane was voted guilty to make her better and to help her realize that the cult was bad and hurting her. Jackalope acknowledges this intent in the T2 and is dismissive about that idea.

Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what? Jackalope: ...Why are you making that face? Jackalope: Are you thinking “I want her to realize her sins" Jackalope: No no, no way…

This verdict comes right after Es Restraining her in the T1 VD. Something Physically Violent that causes her an intense amount of Distress. You can hear her struggle during it, with her breathing heavily and her tone of voice becoming panicked and scared.

In this part she's even surprised that Es would be violent like this.

(Translation)

Amane: What is it? Are you resorting to violence?

Now most people in general would become panicked and scared when restrained. But considering Amane most likely has Experience in being restrained to be harmed, something that we have evidence for in Magic due to the punishment sequences. There is a good chance that Amane was Triggered during this moment.

Amane is in a noticeably worse mood after this, wanting to start a fight with Mikoto.

21/04/16

Amane: ………… Mikoto: Oh, welcome back Amane! ……what’s with the grim face? Ah, right, the guard summoned you! How was it? Did you cry? I bet you were so scared you cried, right!? Amane: ……alright then. If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get. Mikoto: Huh? Oooi! Hey, are you listening?? Ooooi!

Now this is a T1 Amane, and no matter how blunt or even "bratty" T1 Amane could get, she is never outright aggressive except for this moment. Even when she feels threatened and patronized by Shidou she doesn't react with aggression but frustration, first trying to explain to him why it feels bad when he does that and when he ignores that, saying she'll find someone else to teach her.

Plus, due to information from T2 we can assume aggression is not approved of in her cult. This is the only moment in T1 we see her be outright aggressive towards someone. Right after being physically restrained by Es, and Mikoto antagonizing her by invalidating her feelings.

When Amane got that guilty verdict she was confirmed something, that Es was Willing and Able to Physically Hurt Her. When the restraints from the T2 Guilty Verdict came it also meant that Es and the other prisoners who were innocent are in a position to harm her with her being unable to fight back.

Not only that but the ideal we were denying when that verdict came down was not her cult...it's her "sin" that sin being her Will To Live.

It's easy to believe that what we deny in T1 and T2 is her cult, that's the most obvious thing after all and that's what Amane brings up in her T1 VD.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

And to some extent we are denying her cult by giving her this verdict! However, that isn't the main thing Amane is asking us.

In the T1 VD the main thing Amane is concerned about is the concept of "free will" and how "seriously" her feelings are being taken.

A: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will? Does Muu-san, at age 16, have more of a free will than I do? Does Yuno-san, at age 18, have more of a free will? Does Fuuta-san, at age 20, have an entirely free will?

If we're breaking this down to the basic concept, this is the question Amane is asking us.

"Do my wants and feelings matter even if I'm a child?"

Magic gives us one response to this. No.

Magic treats Amane's pain as "comedic." With Amane being portrayed as childish for reacting so negatively to it. Her wants and feelings Don't Matter. It isn't a big deal. Why are you being so sensitive about it? We're just trying to help you.

This is important to consider when it comes to the questions Amane asks her god, and the Audience.

Dear wise one, Is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah! I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me?I take an oath! I can only become a better girl!

Is it alright to be weak? Can you forgive me for being weak? Is it alright that I Did This?

Amane never stops singing this, and she never declares herself a "good girl" In Magic and not only that, she rejects the Idea She Could Be One in the Fist Place.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile Forever, forever together would be a dream

"Only if" a condition, the requirement being Amane be good. And yet she's treating it like a dream, something unachievable and unreachable.

Now where did I get "will to live" from? It's not something super noticeable in Magic but if we go to the interrogations...

T1 Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

There it is!

As we know, Amane was been waterboarded

beaten

sleep deprived

electrocuted.

And also has No Medicine or Vaccinations, and is possibly malnourished since her vegetarian diet might not be Planned Properly and thus can't provide her with the nutrients she needs (though that's speculation on my part.)

She most likely has a weak immune system due to the amount of Stress she's been under for most of her life, and lack of sleep can also weaken your immune system. Not to mention she isn't immunized against diseases...like the flu. Which Can Kill You, especially if you have a comprised immune system and No Vaccines.

Not only that, waterboarding, physical beatings and electrocution aren't exactly things your body is designed to survive, especially with no Medical Care. Waterboarding can kill since it's Simulating Drowning and if there's no oxygen in the lungs you Suffocate, Beating...beats you, electrocution sends electricity Through Your Body, and even if the voltage is Low it can and has Killed People.

These are all very dangerous things to go through, especially without any sort of medical care. So when Amane says that, she says that with the knowledge that she could have died, many, many ways, and many, many times.

These we're all done to "save her" to" purify her sinful soul" and Amane has gone on record to describe this as "Love"

T2 Q2: Do you believe you were loved? A: Very much deeply.

And has also gone on to define love as "mercy"

T2 Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

To spread mercy with no limits...like being a child perhaps? Even if your a child, you can be granted "mercy" and "salvation?"

(Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what?)

These actions were done to "help her" and would have Killed her.

Now, we didn't know about Amane's mother in T1 and admittedly there was not much evidence of her being the victim before T2. However we Do have evidence it was life or death...because Amane was horrifically punished before committing the crime in ways that could have actually killed.

The implication here is clear. If Amane doesn't Do Something she is going to die. It's not a question of If, it's a question of When.

When she asks god if its okay to be weak, when she asks the Audience if its okay to be weak. She is asking if it was alright to Choose Herself over "What is Right." And we said No.

The Audience

Now, you might be feeling some dread now. I am at least and I'm writing this damn thing. The intention of the T1 Guilty Verdict was to "help her" and yet through that it has repeated a pattern of abuse. In our actions we have punished her so she can "learn" and pushed her closer towards a possible death (the death penalty.)

So when T2 Amane rolls around she's aggressive, unwilling to listen, has doubled down on methods of self-punishment and her cult's world view, is physically restrained and presumably punished in other ways, hears voices telling her she's wrong, and is Self Isolating.

This is Really Bad. We've put her in a state that resembles how she acted in her abusive environment, and it is Our Fault. Let's not weasel our way out of this, this entire series is built on that idea that the actions of the audience have consequences.

As Barfsunny even pointed out, The T2 Amane Cover art resembles the scene in Magic where she "punishes her Mother."

And since she's facing the Audience, we are being put in the Role of Her Mother.

The same person who did this to her:

We are, to her, reminiscent of her abusers.

If we go back to how Amane reacts to Threats, she is notably only aggressive when she's being Threatened and Cornered.

We can see this with Es and how they restrain and have authority over her. We can see this when Mikoto antagonizes her and her feelings, we can see this in Shidou when he patronizes and invalidates her feelings.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

And we can see this in the Audience in how we voted her guilty and decided that she should Be Hurt.

Now that we've established our connection to her abusers...let's talk about that Dichotomy I mentioned in the title and how Purge March (and Milgram as a whole) purposefully plays into it.

Victim Dichotomies.

So what do I mean by this? Well it's very common in fiction and audience reactions to categorizes victims as either "good" or "bad." With good victims often being appealing, pitiful and a naturally "good person", while bad victims are aggressive, unappealing and tend to do "Bad Things."

Now these are subjective terms, since...morality is subjective. But it is a trend in both fiction and fan spaces to categorize victims using a sense of what's morally justifiable or not. I was in the Steven Universe Fandom, that was/is a Thing There.

Now, let be clear here, there are absolutely destructive, harmful, maladaptive, ways of coping with trauma. However Moral Catagorization of it is neither productive nor constructive, it just makes it easier to demonize people for not "handling" their trauma properly.

This is relevant to Amane because she is repeatedly portrayed as "scary" in her MV.

Look at the use of lighting and framing, the camera being positioned slightly lower to make the audience feel smaller, a constant shadow on the band members faces that makes them feel...well...cast in shadow. The bright light of the eyes feeling inhuman and unnatural, the dark lighting of the room feeling ominous. With a white figure standing in front of a dead body.

This is what you do when your trying to portray something as "scary" or even "evil."

Amane: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. Amane: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Running away from pain, Amane? Stealing away people's trails for them, Amane? Like choosing to save yourself from being punished again? Like choosing to help a cat?

Not only that but the lyrics of Purge March is this:

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

This is undeniably a revenge song. This is Amane Momose's Revenge Song. Her fantasies about being able to be the one punishing this time and not having to be in pain again are at full front here. She Wants to hurt her mother.

You are supposed to be Scared of Amane Momose. This is the Expected Audience Reaction.

Shidou is brought up in her VD, both for foreshadowing purposes and to make you Anxious. Amane wants to hurt Shidou, Amane wants to hurt Shidou. A constant reminder of the possible consequences of Letting Her Go Unpunished. If you don't punish her Now she could hurt someone Later.

Once again, we are being put in the position of her abuser. Only this time there really is a few things at stake.

Though I will like to mention, most likely the only reason why Amane was able to kill her mother in the first place is because she had two weapons, the umbrella and the taser.

Something that was brought to my attention by deerlydreaming is that you can actually hear the Buzzing and crackling of the taser throughout Purge March. Most notably it becomes A Constant Part of the Instrumental at the end. That Taser is most likely what Amane used to prevent her mother from escaping her before continuing to murder her. This makes sense because Amane is probably physically weak and twelve years old.

And while Amane Can catch Shidou off-guard. Shidou not only wants to live because he needs to Help People, the rest of the prisoners are aware of her hostile intentions towards him. He is not Safe by any means, and Mahiru is still being threatened, but he is Not In As Much Danger as you might think at first.

And, Notably, characters like Yuno and Fuuta, who are involved in the medicine, are treated patiently by Amane. Even if she's a bit rude or unwilling to talk, Amane is willing to answer their questions and give them advice. This is not Just About the medicine.

I mentioned that Shidou makes Amane feel threatened already, but the anxiety from Mahiru is probably because she and Shidou parallel her parents. I talk about it a bit more over here but the jist is not only does Mahiru have notable lyrical parallels with Amane and similarities in world view (Love = Pain.) Mahiru has also asked Amane about her parents.

20/07/06

Amane: You want to know about my family……? My father is a truly wonderful person. He’s honest, values fairness and justice above all else, and will work himself to the bone for other people’s sake……. Why do you want to know? Mahiru: Oh, I was just wondering what sort of parents you must have for them to have raised such a good child like you. Fufu, I’ll keep it in mind for the future when I raise my own family. Amane: I see. If it will be of use to you, I’ll tell you more. It’s still a long way off for me, but for someone your age the prospect of finding a partner and having a family must be feeling a lot more real. Now that I think about it, I recall my mother was around your age when she gave birth to me……

Mahiru is both around the age her mother gave birth to Amane And thinks of her as a good child and wants to use them as examples for how to raise "good children."

This is why Amane wants her dead but also wants her to be apart of her family, she's less condescending and hurtful so Amane has some positive feelings towards her but she still reminds her of someone that Hurt Her, badly. Muddying it a bit.

My overall point though is, Amane plays into the good victim/bad victim dichotomy. She's a bad victim, a bad kid, not good enough. She's scary and bad and childish. She's not an "ideal" victim.

This connects back into her cat imagery. Where Amane is portrayed as the Cat.

(Purge March Cat having Different Injuries gets to me)

Let's all note that the bow and medal are two consistent parts of her costuming and they are her collar, and that she also has a collar in her prison uniform.

The cat is repeatedly conflated with sin and impurity, both here and in other instances of the cat. There's another cat in Magic and that cat is Collared, implying that cats Need to be collared or else they'll do something "bad" unlike all the other animals who can walk without them.

Cats need to be Restrained and Domesticated.

Or else they will do "sinful actions."

(Don't we all love the dehumanization of the vulnerable? Im personally fond of it, please let her become an actual monster in T3 Milgram Im begging you-)

This isn't the first time Milgram has done this! They did this with both Haruka and Muu!

Haruka is portrayed notably creepier in AKAA than Weakness. While Muu is portrayed so pitiful in After Pain and then In It's Not My Fault...well...

I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same God gave me everything, everything is as I wish

(Using MV translation for the sake of clarity)

And again, not to say these behaviors aren't destructive, harmful and maladapative. I'd for one say Muu is Very self-destructive in her behavior and shoots good things for herself in the foot. But the point is that these characters Also play with the concept of being a "good victim" and a "bad victim."

And of course, if your not good enough, you will be punished.

Conclusion

I'd say something about voting here but I think its really obvious what I want people to vote Amane as. But more importantly I think its important to consider what narrative the story is trying to tell. What is trying to make you Feel and Why. There is a meta-commentary here about the way society treats vulnerable people. Especially ones who are considered "unappealing." It's...remarkably easier, to punish someone that's been hurt once it's been decided they aren't "good" enough. And I think that's important to consider when voting.

#milgram #amane momose #008 #milgram amane #milgram analysis #milgram meta #cw child abuse #cw cults #holy fucking shit is this long #everyone enjoy the post!

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mysadcorner · 2 years

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Adult!Damian Wayne x SA Survivor!Reader

- Credit to the gifs owner - Requests open -

Tag list: @simligul

This post contains connotations of sexual assault and abuse throughout, please don’t read if you are sensitive or uncomfortable to such matter - everyone is responsible for their own media consumption.

• Damian knows what it’s like to go through something that leave a terrible lasting impact on a person including himself (and regularly interacts with people who have also been through a lot and suffered in their life) so he is actually very understanding when you seem to have aversions to certain things or avoid people and circumstances because of trauma. Because of this, he tends to subtly use techniques that seem to help other people with their distress or overcoming the troubles of their past in order to make things easier and more comfortable for you.

• Damian wouldn’t mind keeping his distance from you for a while if he felt that it would make it easier for you to interact with him in the long term. He only wants you to be comfortable, so if that means waiting for you to come to him first when you’re eventually ready then so be it.

• Damian is wonderful at sending and figuring out the things around him, so he always immediately knows when you begin to feel uncomfortable or anxious because of a certain person that may be around. He almost doesn’t realise that he’s doing it, but Damian enters his protective mode straight away (even if there is no great danger) and will make sure that you know that you will never be defenceless while he is with you.

• He will personally hunt down anyone who took advantage of you in the past, and will make sure they are on public display when he gives them their punishment. Damian certainly wont hold back, and can be brutal in his dealing with them no matter what they did to you - in his eyes everything is disgusting regardless of how small.

• Whatever you tell him about your past he’ll keep to himself, and will only bring it up to someone else if he thinks it will be the cause of some harm to you that he isn’t able to deal with himself. Which would be very unlikely. Damian wants you to trust him completely and he knows how much loyalty and truth means more than meaningless actions.

• During the times you’ve been looking back over your past or reflecting on the things you’ve overcome, Damian would always be there for you. He may be slightly uncomfortable at first as he isn’t sure of how to ease a person while they are upset or sad, but eventually he warms up to it and gets used to showing you both physical and emotional comfort. And with this, you both help each other to open up about what you both have experienced.

#dc damian wayne #dc universe #dc comics #dc comics headcanons #dc #dcu #dc robin #dc x reader #damian wayne headcanon #damian wayne x you #damian wayne x reader #adult damian wayne #damian wayne #Damian Wayne Headcanons #batman and robin

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kattahj · 10 months

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"Why are you pointing your gun at my son? Put it down!"

This line has been bouncing around my brain for weeks, because of what it says about Kit's and Chopper's relationship, and how that in turn informs Chopper's character arc.

Kit's just been shot by Chopper. He probably doesn't think his son would go so far as to kill him, but he didn't believe he would be shot by him either, and that just happened. But in that moment, his immediate reaction is to yell at his henchmen to stand down.

Because out of the two possible risks here – he dies, or he has to see his son die – he vastly prefers the former.

Compare and contrast the similar scene between Shin and Thana in 3 Will Be Free. Thana cares for his son, may even love him, but when Shin betrays his father, Thana doesn't hesitate to throw him in with Neo and Miw to be killed.

Kit, on the other hand, only points a gun at Chopper for a second before turning it towards Nueng (who is unarmed, cradling Palm, not a threat at this moment). He is certainly angry with Chopper. He wants to punish Chopper, for stepping out of line, for being disobedient enough to choose those two over him. But he doesn't ever want Chopper to die.

And Chopper doesn't want Kit to die. (In this, he is of course entirely similar to Shin, who also cries over his asshole father, except Chopper gets his wish. Kit survives.)

In a show full of daddy issues, Chopper is closer to his father than any of the other characters. Nueng's dad was distant, Palm's harsh, Ben's homophobic. Chopper is used to being by his dad's side, the apple of his eye. Used to being told that everything Kit does, he does for him. And no, Kit doesn't listen when Chopper protests that he doesn't want it, but what BL father ever properly listened to his son?

I don't know if Kit was the kind of dad to give piggyback rides and come to school concerts, but it wouldn't surprise me.

And that's half of the reason it takes Chopper so long to stand up against his father. Resisting abuse is hard, but resisting love is hard in a different way. To look at someone who has cared for you, who you have cared for, and sever that bond in a way that hurts both emotionally and physically. To have to make that sacrifice to save not only yourself, but others, because the person who was so kind to you was a monster to others, and in order to keep their love you have to become someone else entirely.

It is, in its heightened, soap opera way, a quintessentially queer experience.

The other reason it's so hard for Chopper to take a stand is that he is by far the most empathetic person on the show. He feels for everyone. His father, yes, and his beloved cousin, but he also feels for Ben even as Ben is pursuing Nueng. He feels for Palm when he senses Palm's awkwardness in his new employment. He feels for the guy who gets his finger cut off as punishment by Kit.

And what does he do in the finger-cutting scene?

He turns away.

Empathy isn't always positive. Empathic distress is a term used when someone is so overwhelmed by other people's emotions that it starts to hurt them, and that's a common cause of burnout and can be a hindrance to actual help and compassion. You don't want a surgeon who starts crying in the operating room.

Chopper wants everyone to get along. He wants everyone to be like him, and not hurt anyone. But not everyone is like him, and someone is going to get hurt. The longer he waits to act, the worse the situation gets. Chopper has been trained to shoot, but it's not until the end that he can steel his heart enough to do it – and even then, just until his father is arrested. Then he's swept up by his emotions again, taking on all the guilt that Kit ought to be feeling.*

"You are nothing like me," Kit admits at the end. He spits it out in anger and disgust, a curse – but in a way also a blessing. At last, he truly sees his son, and through that, Chopper is finally set free.

*A couple of thoughts from Scandinavian children's fantasy: I've been thinking about the Shamer Chronicles, Drakan who does so much evil and feels no shame vs. Rosa who does no evil and feels so much shame. Also, the argument from The Brothers Lionheart about how Jonatan can't kill anyone and Orvar says, "If everybody was like you, evil would get to rule forever!" and Skorpan counters by saying that if everybody was like Jonatan there would be no evil. But I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with either of those thoughts, so that's why they're stuck in the footnote. :-)

#never let me go #never let me go the series #chopper nlmg #kit nlmg #suphakit nlmg

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sir-klauz · 1 year

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Okay so this form of ableism reallyyyy gets my goat. People with ADHD get this treatment a lot. It really unsettles me how often as well. Like, why do people so often expect someone with a mental health disorder which specifically surrounds focus irregularities, to focus at the exact same level as someone who’s not got ADHD?

Getting angry at people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder for not being able to write/read giant blocks of text on demand is ableism.

We can do it when we can do it, forcing us is much more much distressing than a neurotypical person/someone who doesn’t have focus irregularity would feel, and even those people get distressed at having to do things like this.

I don’t care if you’re annoyed, I really don’t, and even less if you begin ambushing and bxtching about it, then guilt tripping or indirect posting acting like it’s being done to you because “this horrible person doesn’t care”. This is abuse and emotional manipulation to mentally disabled people.

There’s a big reason why many of us suffer in education and that’s because of teachers not being trained to accommodate our needs.

I know you’re not a teacher, and it is not your responsibility to “teach” us anything, but it is your responsibility to not lash out and punish us if we can’t give you big blocks of text, writing, chapters fast enough, big reviews, essays, and completed books/creations on demand. It is also useful if you accommodate us as well, and promotes mental health awareness and accessibility.

Our symptoms literally include the inability to control our focus, meaning it can express by the inability to focus and get distracted (especially under pressure, even with things we really want to do) with big and small tasks which need focus. Unfortunately you’ll have to make peace with the fact it may never happen, or don’t ask someone with this mental health disorder to do this stuff and preform ableist exclusion since you despise our symptoms so irately.

It’s either this, we will hyperfocus and overwork ourselves, completing tasks in an hour or at the very last minute, or doing hundreds of hours of things in massive blocks but still out of our control when this happens. Not to mention adding perhaps excessive information that may not be necessary and be occasionally hard to follow.

Many times we cannot stick with one project, and not one topic for a very long time.

If you have a massive problem with that, and begin to ostracise people for doing this as well, it’s ableism.

Stop targeting people with ADHD with your stigmatic opinions, and stop asking us to do things knowing we have it if you expect guaranteed results.

It’s okay to be privately frustrated, or a little upset it didn’t get done, but you can’t do much about that except learn, educate yourself, and attempt to understand and be compassionate afterwards and take time to realise it’s often not done to spite you or because we hate you. Not forceful and not punishing.

A person with a broken leg isn’t turning down going jogging with you “just to spite you”, or “because they hate jogging/hate how you jog”. It’s because they cannot even walk, obviously involuntarily and they’re not “choosing to not walk” or “just being lazy”. Don’t apply the same theories to people with mental health disorders.

This also stands with anybody, even for people that are neurotypical. If this person does not work for you and isn’t being paid to bring work to your table or finished projects, essays, writings, and more, then you have no right to become vicious/critical when they can’t or don’t want to commit 100% to the request they are asked to do/offer to do for free, or can’t finish it for whatever reason they communicate.

Also this applies between people with ADHD doing it to each other. You can be ableist/have internalised ableism if you’re disabled/have a mental health disorder as well. If anything though, if you do have ADHD, it’s a little questionable if you don’t consider any of this. Though no two persons experience is necessarily the same plus you may have a different type of ADHD/not have combined ADHD, plus, many people are misdiagnosed which would also be another reason you might not get these things.

ADHD is a kettle of fish which is both amazing and difficult to live with, in a world that rarely accommodates us, or especially won’t for free like neurotypical people would receive.

Making it harder and refusing to accommodate us isn’t okay, and condemning us for not being on par with your demands which are often unrealistic, isn’t acceptable. Don’t be surprised if we start to avoid you after this behaviour. It’s offensive and tiring to receive.

We probably have 70 other things we are trying to be doing rn, not to mention juggling a hectic life full of responsibilities whilst trying to commit to fun things, or over committing to too much at once.

It isn’t usually because we don’t want to either, this inability to do things on demand so easily is applicable to things we really want to do as well. Hell, if I can’t open and play a game I’m in love with, idk what to say! But it certainly isn’t on purpose haha.

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mischiefmanifold · 1 year

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if ur comfortable how is child tor ture defined differently to ab use

Since the work I had done for this post before ended up being deleted due to personal mistake, this will probably be shorter than I’d like.

Basically: child torture is an extreme type of child abuse with a set of specified criteria

Sources (both are accessible, however the first one does include graphic descriptions of torture and images of physical marks on children):

Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse by Knox et al. [LINK]

Common Elements of Child Torture by the Delaware Court System [LINK]

Disclaimer: trigger warnings for abuse (all four subtypes), torture, neglect, and death

The dictionary defines “torture” as:

(noun) the action or practice of inflicting severe pain or suffering on someone as a punishment or in order to force them to do or say something

(verb) inflict severe pain or suffering on

Torture is different from abuse in several ways, including duration and intent. Typically, “commonly recognized physically abusive acts result from a caregiver’s episodic unchecked anger or loss of self-control” (Knox et al., 3). Torture, on the other hand, is “usually prolonged or repeated and includes acts designed to establish the perpetrator’s domination and control over the child’s psyche, actions and access to the necessities of life” (Knox et al., 3)

The Specified Definition of Torture According to Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse

At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death

AND

At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation

Neglect is usually present

My Personal Experience

(or, what I can remember and am willing to share) Trigger warning: physical abuse, neglect, child endangerment, emotional abuse

when I was in 4th or 5th grade, my stepmom decided that she didn’t like that we were using the bathroom at night, so she would sit in the hallway and make us go back to bed even if we really had to go

my parents would lock us outside for the whole day in the middle of Texas summers (typically 105-115 degrees in the sun, maybe high 90s in the shade if you’re lucky, and dry as hell)

when I was 10 or 11 years old, my stepmom forced me to run a mile; when she finally let me stop I was sobbing and couldn’t breathe, I felt like my side was splitting open

when I was 14 (I think?) my stepmom physically assaulted me (actually climbed on top of me and gripped my arms until they bruised) because I was having a panic attack and refused to give her my phone (which was my only lifeline at that point)

my parents medically neglected me so badly that I’m permanently disabled

despite being the eldest, my younger siblings have physically attacked me multiple times (I’ve been bit, punched, hit, scratched, pinched, sat on, had my hair pulled, etc.)

when I got the courage to tell my parents that I wanted to die, they reacted by taking away literally everything I loved (including my friends), making me more miserable

I was regularly denied food and my relationship with food was ruined because I was “too fat” and needed to lose weight

#asks answered #anon asks #child torture #child torture survivor #childhood torture #tw abuse #physical abuse #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #neglect #child endangerment #tw death #tw sui mention #suicide mention #fatphobia #ask to tag

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lethologick · 8 months

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re: that last post and ugly crying. This isn’t meant to get heavy or anything, just to demonstrate what I meant by what I said in the tags. That said this post will allude to childhood abuse so take care.

One of the prevailing theories is that crying triggers social bonds. People who are comforted when they’re distressed are more likely to feel better, and people who cry are more likely to be comforted. It attracts attention. But if you’re in a situation where attracting attention means dismissal, punishment, loss of autonomy, or then being responsible for your someone’s emotional outbursts, you teach yourself to cry silently. There were times as a kid that if I cried I would be physically punished, or I knew I would have my belongings taken. As you can imagine this also can make someone SUPER reticent to ask for help. You can unlearn these kinds of survival mechanisms, but you have to really feel and be safe to do so. A character crying aloud can mean they feel safe. Or it could also mean they’re so distraught they simply can’t hold it in like they usually would. Consider it an indicator- what does it say about their situation? About the character? Why won’t they reach out for someone when they’re in so much pain their body’s giving visible distress signals?

If a character won’t cry aloud, there’s a reason. Where there’s a smoke, there’s fire, and you can probably extrapolate more signs from that. Do they never ask for help? Do they brush off serious issues? Do they keep close to the corners of rooms, glancing for the exits? Do they lash out at people who try to help or get confused?

I do love *love* a good ugly cry and think it should be used more, but I also think if you can understand and distinguish what an ugly cry or silent cry mean for a character in the story, it can add a *lot*. A character who cries often and loud versus a character who cries rarely and silently- you already have ideas about the both of them, don’t you? It was only a sentence, but it indicates a lot.

#characters #character analysis #writing

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rolling-restart · 1 year

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desecration - part. 9

*** This is a NSFW fic with unhealthy relationship elements and graphic description of sex. If it’s something you want to avoid or you are minor, please scroll past. ***

Status: incomplete

Tags and content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, angst, references to domestic violence, mention of death, graphic description of injury and abuse, self-blaming victim, throwing up, eating disorders, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, medicine misuse/unsafe use of medicine, drug seeking behaviour, obsessive behaviour, distressing content in general.

Summary: George is finally all alone.

A/N: Okay so,

This is a filler chapter but I feel like the story needed this after we were deprived of George's POV for two chapters. Upcoming chapters are set to have much more triggering content, therefore beware and, consider this as a buildup.

I hope you people will like this one. Enjoy!

DEVOTION

It hadn’t been easy to convince Daniel to leave. George had to compromise by letting him stay a night to keep an eye on him but once he figured out George wouldn’t crumble into dust like a clay figure with a touch, he had to give in to George’s insistence. It was all too much for both of them.

George still couldn’t believe that he couldn’t make Daniel leave his apartment without figuring out what happened. His anxiety was like static electricity, running through his body now and then, making him wince. Daniel knew George and Toto were together, and that Toto somehow hurt George. He knew Daniel wouldn’t understand why their relationship couldn’t be judged with the common judgement tools. He wouldn’t understand why George desperately needed Toto and would let him do anything. Daniel probably believed that he was a knight in shining armour, getting ready to save George from his predicament. He couldn’t understand why his help scared him more than Toto’s treatment.

Toto hurt George, multiple times, yes. He usually did it physically to prove a point. He knew George needed to understand the errors of his judgement and proceeded accordingly. Yes, it wasn’t fun to endure those stuff but George knew it was all for the best. George wouldn’t even be that phased if he managed to phase out from the pain but it was okay, too. Toto forgave him and everything was going to be fine.

Nevertheless, George couldn’t stop blaming himself. He gave into Daniel’s care. He opened up to him, let him undress and take care of him. It was a mistake, a graver mistake than he did by trying to reject Toto because now they were no longer a complete secret. Who could know whether Daniel was going to be a fool and try to “save” George from Toto? He wanted to trust that his begging would convince Daniel to keep his mouth shut. However, he was petrified by the possibility of Daniel’s conscience would get in the way. If Toto figured out that he let Daniel take care of him and know of their relationship, he would kill George. And George was a hundred per cent sure that he would deserve it.

It wasn’t even the worst thing about Daniel’s visit, though. Beyond the practicalities of their secret, George was feeling unbelievably guilty about enjoying care from someone other than Toto. The way Daniel helped him, showered him and dressed him up made George feel all fuzzy inside like he was on the clouds. None of these should have happened because objectively, Daniel was only a stranger he slept once and at most, a friend. It felt wrong to enjoy his touch, his hushed voice and the genuine concern in his eyes. The attention whore inside George enjoyed it so much that he wished he was violated in that way all the time so that Daniel would look at him with that tender, sweet eyes.

No, it was all wrong. Even when he couldn’t stop Daniel from prying and helping him physically, George should’ve controlled his emotions. He betrayed Toto, betrayed his love and everything he gave him. His punishment might have looked too harsh to anyone else but George knew his generosity outweighed it. Not only George was a defiant prick, but he was also a cheater and he honestly couldn’t know how to live with it.

He believed that if something came up, he could emotionally manipulate Daniel to keep silent, making him believe that he could get much more out of George if he didn’t give in to moral superiority. George knew it would throw him into the rabbit hole of double play but anything would be better than Toto figuring out what happened.

After Daniel left, all days became a blur. He didn’t go out, not even once and he got everything delivered, contact-free. Not that he needed much food, though. He spent the first couple of days trying to eat to get rid of the burning feeling in his stomach but he ended up throwing them all up. It became a routine nearly and George didn’t understand why he was insisting on eating. He limited his meals down to sparkling water and white grapes because he figured out that they were the only items that didn’t refuse to stay in his body. Every three days, he managed to eat a piece of toast and maybe a slice of salami but it ended up in the toilet more often than it stayed in George’s stomach.

He wasn’t having any difficulty in keeping wine and spirits down, though. When he overdrank, they joined the other foods he ate with the hopes of having the time to digest them before vomiting. But often, they managed to keep him in a state of sedation. On the bright side, his new diet helped his insides heal after Toto’s treatment because he wasn’t having any movements down there recently due to how little he ate. It was disgusting to think like that but George was enjoying being able to sit and lay on his back without much pain.

Toto messaged him now and then, nothing George couldn’t respond without focusing too much. He knew it showed that Toto cared and would be with him if he could but he failed to feel his presence with the messages through his burner phone. Messages felt cold, short and dismissive. As long as he couldn’t feel his touch and breath on his skin, Toto wasn’t there and George was all alone.

His bruises became green, then yellow before disappearing completely. Some of them were still in their green state after a week, making George smile warmly. Those were the only things he could hold onto until he saw Toto and felt claimed again. They were the result of violent acts, that much was true but they also showed that Toto cared. He cared enough to punish him to be able to forgive him instead of leaving. Apart from short text messages, those were the only thing connecting George to Toto physically, stopping him from plunging into the madness of feeling abandoned.

George found himself missing the earlier years of their relationship. Toto was much more possessive back then. It wasn’t that Toto wasn’t possessive in the present but it just felt different to George in the earlier days. Toto used to be erratic and excessive in his ways and nothing could make George more cared for than being aggressively handled into obedience. He used to watch George sleep all night after George told him that he used to speak in his sleep when he was a child. George wasn’t sure what he was hoping to hear but it made him feel impossibly exposed and vulnerable. No one but Toto could hurt him and George was happier than he had ever been.

It somehow felt like the times Toto used to lock him into the house or the room they were staying in during their escapades when he had to leave for a while to get something done. George used to wait for him to come back for hours, happily, because he knew Toto would only make effort to protect what is valuable to him and locking him in could only be to keep George safe from silly decisions. George wished he locked him before leaving this time as well. After all, it would actually protect George from acting like a fool and letting Daniel in. He shouldn’t have trusted George’s devotion and he should have made decisions for him. He should’ve known how stupid his little baby could be.

After a couple of days Daniel left, he called his doctor and told him about a made-up insomnia problem. He couldn’t believe how convincing he was when he talked about some made-up nightmares of his “barely achieved a couple of hours sleep”. Before long, he was looking at a rich cocktail of sleeping medicine on his doorstep for his enjoyment. In reality, George didn’t have any problem sleeping. On the contrary, with the constant supply of sparkling wine and gin on an empty stomach, he found himself dozed off for the better part of the day. He took some of the medicine to amplify the effect and stockpiled the rest for later. This kind of medicine was a rare luxury during the season so he had to be careful about his supply. Being able to numb in the face of possible disasters in his personal and professional life was something he used to be able to achieve without medical help but Daniel’s disruption made it very hard for George to achieve that dissociated state often. His pills were fine, harmless in moderation and they helped him doze off with much little alcohol than normal. Therefore, George was grateful.

He lost the track of the days but he knew it couldn’t be more than two weeks after the incident when his doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone or any delivery. He was feeling incredibly reluctant to answer stray doorbells after what happened with Daniel but his curiosity got the best of him. He didn’t have to throw some clothes because he hasn’t been wearing anything but underwear and a navy dressing gown all the time. He still hadn’t touched the laundry pile with the off-white dressing gown soiled with his vomit and he wasn’t planning to anytime soon.

He opened the door with shaky hands. His hands didn’t stop shaking since Daniel left. He was suspecting that it was due to his malnutrition and constant drinking, so he wasn’t too worried. When the time comes, he knew he could resurface like nothing happened to pick up his responsibilities. He wore his flesh like armour to the outside world and he could very well hide what was happening inside. Just… Not yet.

There was a small box at his doorstep. George took his time to admire the sparkly ribbons tying it together and picked it up. He was already feeling tired of walking to the door and was wobbly on his feet. He threw himself on the couch, careful not to tip over any cups on the coffee table. After he used all the cups in his apartment, he started to drink from empty jars and even from small cereal bowls because he didn’t feel steady enough to put dishes in the washing machine.

He carefully untied the ribbons of the box. There was a beautiful chain and a note on a smooth black velvet cushion. He ignored the chain for a second and took a look at the note. He felt his heart melt in his chest and smiled maybe for the first time in days. It was Toto’s handwriting.

My dearest Angebeteter,

I am very sorry for leaving you so abruptly that night. You know I would do anything in my power to stay with you and take care of you if I could. I had to go, to get some matters done for us, for you. There wasn’t one moment I didn’t think of your beautiful eyes, angelic face and heavenly scent. I will be with you soon. Until then, I want you to have this as a symbol of my love for you.

Mein Herz, I know you didn’t mean to defy me. We will always belong to each other and when you feel like you are forgetting this, this little gift can remind you that you belong to me and me only, with your body, mind and soul.

I love you more than you can imagine,

-T

George felt his chest swell with tenderness. He heard himself sobbing while bringing the piece of paper to his lips. Toto always knew how to bring him about when he lost his way. He should have never suspected him. He knew this gesture of love only made his betrayal worse but he was too enamoured, too relieved to care.

It was a beautiful silver chain with a small locket charm. George struggled to open it with his shaky hands but when he did, he couldn’t stop himself from giggling like a teenager. There was an engravement in the locket on where a photo would go normally. It was Toto’s initials, TCW, letters on top of each other with a nice artistic touch of calligraphy. He immediately put it on. He couldn’t stop himself from touching and twirling it between his fingers, as if it was a piece of Toto’s presence with him. He decided to keep it on for the upcoming promotional photos and videos because even though he couldn’t scream his devotion openly to the world, he would have a way of covertly expressing himself. It was like branding, like a collar, safely connecting George to Toto, even when he felt like was drifting away due to his own stupidity.

He felt in peace, an intoxicating peace of redemption. Everything was going to be alright when Toto was back. He could try and forget how he felt under Daniel, his perverted teachings of autonomy, and even forget his own name in Toto’s arms. If he couldn’t think, he wouldn't be able to sin and George was tired of his sins, one following the other.

He laid back on the couch, hand on the locket. He fell asleep to the rhythm of his beating heart.

End notes:

Angebeteter (Ger.): Beloved Mein Herz (Ger.): My heart

#desecration: gr/tw fic #gr #dr #tw #nsfw.#in general #tw: ed #tw: eating disorders #tw: mentions of abuse #🚩

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amischievouscat · 2 years

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This post is literally me bitching about the school system for an obscenely long amount of time. If you don't have the time/energy for that don't press the keep reading button.

I'm going to structure this so that I have a point I hate about the school system, and then an explanation and any related sources. To justify the hatred, of course :). I'm from Canada so keep that in mind. I'm also working with my doctor to get a depression and ADHD diagnosis. Some terms I'll use:

Neurodivergent - Someone with ANY mental health issue, whether it be depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, ADHD, etc.

Neurotypical - Someone with NO mental health problems.

Quotes from studies will be italicized, "like this"

References are underlined and are clickable links.

Time for the mindless screaming. Off we go, shall we?

The school system is built for neurotypical/mentally "healthy" people.

The system isn't built with kids/teens who have mental health problems in mind; it's built around the idea that kids don't have mental health issues. According to this study conducted in 2009, "15.2% of school-going adolescents were found to be having evidence of distress; 18.4% were depressed; 5.6% of students were detected to have positive scores on both the instruments." The "instruments" being referred to are the GHQ-12 (General Health Questionnaire, used to gauge general mental health and stability) and the BDI (Beck Depression Inventory, a widely used questionnaire for measuring the presence and severity of depression).

The same study goes on to say "Certain factors like parental fights, beating at home and inability to cope up with studies were found to be significantly associated with higher GHQ-12 scores, indicating evidence of distress. Economic difficulty, physical punishment at school, teasing at school and parental fights were significantly associated with higher BDI scores, indicating depression." and that "Studies have shown that usual care by primary care physicians fails to recognize 30-50% of depressed patients"

Not only is the presence of depression in youth highly documented, it's often underdiagnosed. As a result, when these students are placed in classrooms that are very "industrial looking" (bright, white lighting and muted tones of grey and blue) it puts them in a difficult position. They may find socializing with their peers difficult or may be unable to focus, and because of the lack of engaging content in most school curriculums or assistance with helpful methods, their grades suffer.

The system is built on an inherently flawed method of evaluation.

The way that value is given to a letter/number grade doesn't sit well with me for a number of reasons.

First, they pit students against one another. Getting an A in an assignment opens a child up to being ostracized for being a teachers pet (to which I can personally confirm) or you are held to higher, often stressful standards, while a child who gets low grades is pinned as stupid. It's a never ending battle of trying to get grades just good enough that you're safe from both sides, which can also be stressful and exhausting.

Second, they can cause familial problems. If a child gets a low grade on a test or exam, it opens them up to potential emotional and sometimes even physical abuse at home. Parents may think of a child as lesser, or compare their children, "why don't you get grades as good as x?", which loops back to my first point.

Last, students often sacrifice their mental and emotional wellbeing for the sake of a letter/number grade. This can probably be illustrated best by the Simpsons episode "Bart Gets An 'F'". In this episode, Bart is threatened with failing the fourth grade and heavily sacrifices his emotional and mental health to study for a test, and even though he tried his hardest, he fails the test. This video shows a few clips from the episode., and elaborates on my point.

That's it for me ranting about this dumpster fire of a school system :)

#school #school system #rant #vent #study #tw #tw abuse #abuse #depression #tw depression #the school system is stupid beyond all reason lol #please rb with your take!#or reply #I don't really care

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leadindia011 · 6 months

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Legal Case For Mental Harassment In India

Mental harassment is a pervasive issue that affects individuals across various spheres of life in India. In recent years, there has been a growing recognition of the need to address mental health concerns, including those arising from harassment.

Mental Harassment: About

The phrase Mental Harassment refers to a variety of actions that inflict psychological injury and emotional suffering on a person. Although the legal definition of harassment is not clearly defined in India, harassment is often recognized to include acts of bullying, intimidation, disgrace, discrimination, and any other behaviour that causes mental pain.

These are actions that seem to be menacing, unpleasant, or unsettling in a legal sense. They originate from reasons for discrimination and have the consequence of preventing someone from exercising their rights or making them less effective. It may be distinguished from a simple insult or reprimand by the consistency of repetition as well as the disturbing, unsettling, or menacing quality.

Laws Relating to Mental Harassment in India

Indian Penal Code

Section 509 of the Indian Penal Code covers actions either verbally or nonverbally with the intention of demeaning a woman's modesty. It encompasses all forms of inappropriate sexual comments, gestures, or behaviours that may lead to psychological anguish.

The Indian Penal Code's Section 294 mainly dealt with obscenity; if acts or songs are utilized to mentally annoy someone, this section may be employed. The term has been interpreted extensively by courts to encompass activities that result in psychological injury.

Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act

This historic legislation seeks to shield women in home situations from a range of abuses, including mental harassment. The Act establishes mental cruelty as a type of domestic abuse and offers protection orders that have the power to stop the offender from inflicting the victim’s mental distress.

Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Act

The Act acknowledges that unwanted behaviour with overtly sexual undertones, whether expressed or implied, can constitute sexual harassment in addition to physical acts. Behaviours that result in mental distress are included in this broad definition.

Establishing an ICC is a requirement for organizations that want to handle sexual harassment accusations. The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICC) is empowered to look into and resolve situations involving mental as well as physical workplace harassment.

Online Harassment and Cyberbullying

As the digital age has grown, these two problems have become more common. The IPC's sections on criminal intimidation, defamation, and Section 67A (which punishes publishing or distributing sexually explicit content) can be used to handle situations of mental harassment that occur online, even if they are not specifically addressed by any statutes.

Difficulties in Setting Mental Harassment Claims

In spite of legal protections, mental harassment claims can be difficult to establish. It is challenging to demonstrate mental suffering in court due to its subjective nature and lack of precise criteria. Furthermore, the stigma attached to mental health problems frequently prevents victims from stepping forward.

Role of the Judiciary: Mental Harassment Case Laws

In the case of Indra Sarma v V.K.V. Sarma, mental cruelty is a type of matrimonial abuse that can seriously impair a spouse's mental health and general well-being. Additionally, the court stressed that each case's unique facts and circumstances will determine what qualifies as mental cruelty, given its broad definition.

This case has been important since it established that mental cruelty can be grounds for divorce and offers some clarification on what exactly qualifies as mental cruelty. It has also had a significant impact on how India's judicial system handles cases of mental harassment.

Steps to Take Legal Action Against Mental Harassment

Find out which Indian laws and provisions, such as the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, and the Indian Penal Code, Code, etc address mental harassment.

Gather pertinent proof to back up your allegation of mental harassment, such as messages, emails, videos, or pictures.

Speak with an attorney: Consult a knowledgeable criminal attorney who can advise you on the applicable laws, your rights, and the next course of action.

During any investigation, offer the data, proof, and testimony required to bolster your case. Legal action may be taken if the authorities discover enough proof. If necessary, your attorney is going to represent you in court.

One can talk to a lawyer from Lead India for any kind of legal support. In India, free legal advice online can be obtained at Lead India. Along with receiving free legal advice online, one can ask a legal question to the experts online free through Lead India.

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Mental Harassment,Indian Penal Code.

#Mental Harassment #Indian Penal Code.

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isildheir · 6 months

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I will never forget how my abuser got kicked out of their house, and I tried to console them and asked if they wanted to call, and they just mocked me and ridiculed me and yelled at me and made fun of me for it.

Said I just wanted a badge and a good job sticker for helping them. Because I'm so 'good' and want a pat on the ass.

How they said they're getting kicked out and no one cares despite me being there talking to them and asking if they want to talk it out in call. How they made fun of me for it and then said it's so fucked up that they're getting kicked out and no one cares, but all I have to do is 'act all sad' and everyone is all 'oh, poor baby boy Dean.'

How dare you. Where did that fucking come from. I asked to help and you attacked me. You attacked me and made fun of me, saying I was 'acting all sad' when my distress being with you was so extreme that I drove blind, uncaring if I got in an accident, and threw myself repeatedly into the wall to feel something. Anything. Put holes in them, started therapy, went to bed at night with chest pains and would wake up crying with nightmares. But sure. I was 'acting all sad.'

You offered that out of nowhere to someone who tried to be there for you.

You are garbage.

You hurt me so much, so easily, and proved you never cared that I was upset. In fact, you think I 'act' it out and literally said I manipulated my friends, implying I pretended my distress to garner sympathy.

Fuck you.

I was so fucking alone.

None of my friends knew what was happening. None.

I was so fucking alone and I kept being alone, hurting alone, crying alone, telling everyone I was just tired and having a rough time with some friends offline and family to hide the fact I was hurting because of you. I did it so well that your backstabbing friend, someone I thought shared a mutual care and trust in me, also thought I was making things up. I am so gutted. That backstabbing friend saying I apparently wasn't consistent in things I say despite me... never saying anything about the emotional and verbal abuse you gave me? My distress? My depression? My therapy? Panic attacks, chest tightness, frequent tears, distancing, confusion, emptiness? You truly have convinced them, everyone, that I played up my pain, and they proved they had so little respect for me that they joined in to trashtalk me without one of them even bothering to spare one iota of doubt my way. You truly made it out like I was never sad, just manipulating. You think you had never hurt me, are always the victim, and that's why you think my distress was fake. You denied all my pain to save your ego. You literally propped yourself up as a victim and faultless, painted me out as 'disproportionate anger' and a liar with no reason to be upset, simply lashing out each time.

I was so fucking alone and so distraught, so broken, and even then, I fucking thought about you so no one came to you. To keep your name out of it. Meanwhile, you talked about me behind my back, vagued very slanderously to everyone, even used my name outright and had calls about me, made fun of my anguish in front of my face when I was just trying to help you, and then cried victim when I finally insulted you, angry, fed up, broken mentally and emotionally.

You are a demon.

A devil.

And you deserve hell.

I wanted to leave you for so long but kept letting myself get talked into staying. I never should have. I should have been stronger. Just thinking about you and all you've done makes me so angry and overwhelmed. I stlll fucking cry and get struck with a steep wave of sickness whenever I see something that makes me think of you.

You nearly destroyed me. And you made fun of me for it. And you punished me for getting upset. Kept me on call to literally try and convince me to stay when I said no more. Made me feel a prisoner, a hostage. Said that I do like you when I said I do not. For hours. Hours. That's why I called you stupid and annoying—because beyond that call, you made me feel like I couldn't leave you, was trapped with you for so long. Every time I said I wanted to Ieave you, I meant it, but you twisted it as a way for me to control you into behaving, because again, you can't fathom someone wanting to leave you because you truly don't believe you do anything wrong. You're always reasonable in your mind. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt that way for so long. You spoke over me. You always determined how I felt. You convinced me I didn't know how to love and that my falling out of feeling anything for you was a dissociation. No. It wasn't dissociation. I was starting to hate you, lose any connection to you. My distress was real. My wanting to leave you was real.

Why did you ask me to keep things we talked about between us and say nothing to anyone, don't tell xyz, but then go and tell xyz your own retelling?

You are despicable.

You don't even care how badly you hurt me, all the trauma you left me with. So long as I never share your name and you continue walking around without your friends and everyone else knowing what you have said and done to me, you're happy.

You mock me and my pain but want me to cater to yours and feel sorry for yours at every turn.

No.

You can rot.

#abuse vent/#You are an abuser. That is all you will ever be.

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lawyerlist · 10 months

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Guide For California Domestic Violence Laws In 2023 – FAQs

Domestic violence is a universal and terrible matter in California and around the globe as well. It is characterized by an assortment of violent acts used by one partner to exert power over the other person. It involves financial exploitation, emotional abuse, physiological distress, and sexual harassment. Sadly, irrespective of all of this, the matter continues, with dozens of domestic abuse charges filed in California each year. As a result, victims must be aware of possibilities if they want to get adequate support on occasions like this. This Frequently Asked Questions section will educate you on every detail you’re entitled to know concerning those amenities.

What is California domestic violence laws?

Domestic violence is often referred to as the “DVPA” (The California Domestic Abuse Prevention Act) in California. This act is one of the most important in the state for governing domestic abuse situations. Domestic violence is regarded as mistreatment commanded at someone with whom the abuser has a current or former close relationship. Current and former roommates, domestic partners, and spouses are all eligible. Domestic abuse victims’ legal rights and remedies are also defined by the domestic violence protection order in California. One of them is the ability to get an extended banning action.

What is the California domestic violence statute of limitations?

Before the introduction of SB 273, suspected victims of domestic violence required three years to file an offense of felony domestic violence lawsuit and one year to pursue non-felony domestic violence charges. This statute of limitations has been raised to five years by new legislation.

How are cases of domestic violence handled in California?

Typically, California’s criminal court system handles domestic abuse matters. Domestic violence incidents undergo inquiries by law enforcers as soon as they get reported to authorities. They will decide if it’s appropriate to arrest based on whatever proof is available. Any arrests will be forwarded to the state attorney’s desk, which is going to determine whether to bring criminal charges. If penalties are brought, the claims will be addressed in a criminal court of domestic violence laws California. A jury or court of justice will next determine if or not the offender is guilty.

What indicates domestic violence in its early stages?

Since abusers frequently utilize covert methods of preserving control and influence over their victims, recognizing the initial indications of domestic violence can be challenging. Fortunately, there are five common red signals to be aware of:

Possession and Jealousy

Verbal Neglect

Financial Management

Physical Abuse

Violent Threats

How long can someone spend in prison under domestic violence laws in California?

Domestic violence victims in California may face prison time based on the crime and whether the victim suffers serious injuries. For instance, if the abuser only resulted in minor injuries, they may just be punished with a few days in jail. Nevertheless, if the individual being assaulted was gravely hurt or if their abuser has previous convictions of acts of domestic violence, they might get a long prison term.

How can the attorneys from your law firm help me with my domestic violence case?

Attorneys at our law firm are here to assist you. Our attorneys for domestic violence harassment will guide and assist you at every stage of confronting the consequences of a domestic violence incident as we understand how difficult it can be. We would love to help you in dealing with the legal system and gathering the justice you want. Scheduled a meeting with us to discuss your case with our experts.

Contact Criminal Defense Attorney Riverside the Law Offices of Kareem A. Ramadan at (888)-506-6519 for a free review of your case.

#DomesticViolenceLaws #CriminalDefenseAttorney #lawyer #laws #attorney #lawsuit

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musicasweapon · 1 year

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Music as Weapon

Curated by Léonie Rauch and Nadia Salamino

Torture through music « happens in an awful lot of places, and not just in far-away places. » It has been used as part of punishment and humiliation tactics « as early as you can think of » said Morag Josephine Grant, a musicologist at the University of Edinburgh. ¹ Music was already used during the nazi regime in camps, like in Dachau where German marches music were played to politically re-educate detainees. One can define this kind of torture with the term « no-torture », meaning a torture that leaves no visible trace. Even though, the use of loud or frightening sound has been used and combined with other tortures techniques such as being beaten in a stress position (also known as a submission position, a stress position places the human body in such a way that a great amount of weight is placed on just one or two muscles), leading to major mental damages and post-traumatic stress disorders. This combination of tortures has been adjusted in order to drown out the inner thoughts of a detainee. Music is merely used in interrogation rooms because it pushes people to talk and assert whatever the guard wants to hear. Through emotional and psychological distress, music imposes a loss of orientation, hallucinations and because it strengthens effects of other torture methods, the aim of such camps is to “break” the detainee. Former inmates say they used their hearing to analyse what was happening to them (the speed of the guards' steps, someone coughing differently meaning something specific…). But hearing has also been the overstimulated sense that has been used as a weapon to « break » the detainees. Personal accounts of detainees described how psychological torture through music, using techniques like “sensory overload”, was harder to overcome than any physical torture, as prisoners knew what to expect in physical situations.

We based our researches on the memoirs and interviews of former detainees of different detention camps, developing how music and noise have been used as weapons against them. According to the detainees, hearing is the most vivid sense they experienced. Most of the time, they were drowning in the dark of their cells and were forbidden to speak; because of the lack of stimulation of other senses, hearing has been sharpened. The few photographs that we had of camps where torture is used are most of the time too violent to be exhibited. Sometimes there is no picture at all. Hence our desire to exhibit through another technique and to arouse interest in this "weaponization of sound" (term used by the music historian Suzane G. Cusick), committed by humans on others.

The aim of this installation is to make the visitor discover that torture is a compilation of abuses in which music does not comes to mind at first, but is in reality one of the major techniques to psychologically affect someone on a long-time scale. Some precise procedures to amplify the effect of music torture have been created like mixing together two songs that do not have the same rhythm, delaying a song with milliseconds, playing of the decibels and alternating from sensory overload to sensory deprivation strategies. Our choice to exhibit inside of boxes allows us to go from a box to another, metaphorically from one camp to another, from one cell to another. We took into consideration three testimonies from three different former detainees who talk about three songs (a music for children entertainment, a metal song by Marylin Manson and a mix of Nine Inch Nails and Queen songs) that have been played in the camp they were tortured in. Those three detention facilities are/were all led by US military authorities in order to follow the “War on terror” campaign initiated after the attacks of 9/11 by the George W. Bush Administration. The ones we worked on were the Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba (2002–today), the Cropper Camp in Baghdad, Iraq (2003-2011) and the Bagram detention camp in Afghanistan (2002-2009). Under international law, torture and other forms of ill-treatment are always illegal. They have been outlawed internationally for decades. To take just a couple of examples, 172 countries have adhered to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which prohibits torture and other forms of ill-treatment, and 173 countries are now parties to the UN Convention against Torture, signed in 1985. But one understands that many states have failed to criminalize torture as a specific offense under their national laws, and governments around the world continue to defy international law by torturing people. One major example is the "Enhanced interrogation techniques" or "enhanced interrogation" program of systematic torture of detainees by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) and various components of the US at remote sites around the world— including Bagram, Guantanamo Bay, Abu Ghraib, and Bucharest — authorized by officials of the George W. Bush administration. Those “enhanced interrogation techniques” are not that different from the definition we have of the term “torture”.

Concerning music torture, a declassified CIA document was published in 2016 and contains a few sentences that specify the volume levels to which a prisoner can be exposed and for how long, underlining a sharp knowledge and precise research on this "no-touch" torture ("As a practical guide, there is no permanent hearing risk for continuous 24-hours-a-day exposures to sound at 82 dB or lower; at 84 dB for up to 18 hours a day; 90 dB for up to 8 hours, 95 dB for 4 hours, and 100 dB for 2 hours." ²).

Various musicians gradually discovered that their work have been used to abuse prisoners all around the world like Christina Aguilera, Eminem, AC/DC, The Bee Gees, Dalida, Rage Against the Machine or Red Hot Chili Peppers to quote some of them.

Some artists gathered to create the initiative Zero dB which aims is to stop torture music by encouraging widespread condemnation of the practice and by calling on governments and the United Nations to uphold and enforce the Convention Against Torture and other relevant treaties.

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