#usually I’m canon compliant or die

[criticalrolo]

self care is coming up with THE Most Self Indulgent AUs and drawing little pictures to go along with the dumb stories you write for yourself

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)

Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.

While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.

CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut

To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess

Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂

*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me

*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!

You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.

You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.

You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.

It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.

A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.

A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.

For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.

Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.

Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.

“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”

You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.

Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.

You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.

You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.

You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.

You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.

Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.

He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.

He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.

The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.

Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.

Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.

When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”

Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.

The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.

Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”

Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.

“Sick? For how long?”

Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”

“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”

“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.

Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.

Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?

Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.

“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.

Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.

Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.

Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.

If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.

Shadowheart be damned.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!

You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.

You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.

You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-

“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”

“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”

“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”

Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.

“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.

You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.

Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?

Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.

Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.

It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.

You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.

“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”

“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”

Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.

“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”

“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”

Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!

Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”

“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”

“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.

Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”

“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”

“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”

Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.

You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”

Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.

You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.

“A girl?”

His question breaks the air.

“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”

“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.

A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.

“You don’t want to be involved?”

Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.

“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”

You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”

His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.

“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”

You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.

“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”

Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.

“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”

Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.

You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.

Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”

“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”

“What wish?”

It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.

“Right… that.”

The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.

“Astarion-“

“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”

You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.

“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”

You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.

“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”

You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.

Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”

Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”

“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 1 - Where Winning Looks Like Losing

Series Masterlist

Author's Note: This is story non-canon compliant, with the two main differences being; 1) Butcher doesn't have brain cancer, because I said so. 2) All of Gen V didn't take place, because I don't want to deal with the whole supe-plauge thing. Also that's too many characters to keep track of squad. Because of this, the story will start in a similar setting as s4e5, but with different events leading up to it, and will deal with similar themes and have similar events to the rest of s4, but at an inconsistent rate. If you have any questions about other, smaller changes I have made, feel free to ask! Enjoy!

Word Count: 4k

Chapter Summary/Warnings: See Author's Note for Summary. Contains usual tags. Chapter title is from Growing Up by Fall Out Boy.

Read on A03!

Chapter 2

Want to be tagged? Just ask!

You were not, and never had been, in the business of fighting your wars bloody. You fought them smart, and you fought them dirty. You wouldn’t call yourself callous; if anything, you could use a little more misanthropy in your life, but your moral compass was… subjective. You would steal bread to feed your family, you would cheat if you knew you wouldn’t get caught, and, as you had spent the last six months learning, you would quickly cover your hands in all the blood and grime in the world so that nobody else would have to.

Which was, unfortunately, not a figure of speech.

You let yourself lie in the mud, the cool texture soothing your always-warm skin, and fought the urge to sleep. You could hear someone shouting your name, strung together with an impressive array of obscenities and barely audible over whatever phase of the argument your companions were on, but god, you just could not bring yourself to give a fuck. Sure, the blood on your face was already dry, and the hay mixed into the mud itched and needled at your skin, but you’d live. You’d survived much worse, and at this point it was scientifically impossible for you to get sick, so everyone could just come back for you in a week or two. Maybe three. However long it took for the nightmare sheep to die and Vought’s stock prices to be lower in the mud than where you lay. Maybe a bit longer. Maybe until Homelander wasn’t a you problem anymore. Maybe they’d feed his corpse to the nightmare sheep when they came to get you.

You felt yourself smile a little at that thought. Dead Homelander, weak and pathetic; golden hair grimy; awful blue eyes milky and hollow. Dead Homelander, hands unable to hurt you, mouth unable to twist into that horrific smile. Dead Homelander, pretty face mauled and stupid outfit smelling like shit from being dragged in it to the barn. Dead Homelander, being torn to tiny pieces and eaten by sheep. Dead Homelander, the worst thing that ever happened to you, finishing his reign of terror shat out next to a creek somewhere.

Your smile covered your whole face at this point. It probably looked weird and creepy—the dire, life-or-death situation you were smack dab in the middle of not doing it any favors—but god, it was too perfect a daydream. You could live here forever, in the mud, with your fucked-up little fantasy on loop.

Tragically, you barely had twenty seconds in this ideal world when something hit you in the face.

“What the fuck?!" You sat up, ignoring the hand offering aid from Frenchie, glaring around the barn for your assailant.

“Bout time you join the land of the living, Love. We’ve got a fucking problem, and you don’t get to nap until it’s fixed.” Across the barn, Billy Butcher shot you a cocky grin that didn’t meet his eyes. To be fair, you weren’t sure it ever did.

“You didn’t have to hit me in the face, you ass.”

“That was me,” Frenchie cut in. “And you should thank me; Monsieur Butcher was going to shoot you.”

“You were going to shoot me?!”

“Would’ve felt the same either way, wouldn’t it?” Butcher shrugged.

“No! I’m not bulletproof, you dick!”

“You’d live.”

“So would MM if you shot him! I don’t see you gearing up for that!”

“Well, MM wasn’t sleeping in the middle of a crisis!”

You rolled your eyes, meeting Butcher’s glare from across the room. "Oh, please, you just wanted an excuse to try and kill me!”

“If I wanted to kill you, Sweetheart, it’d look more like this.” Butcher’s arms started to move behind him, where you knew he kept his gun, and you braced yourself, hands fisted at your side.

“Hey!” MM stepped forward, arms raised. “You, if you shoot anyone, I will throw you out to the sheep, I swear to God. And you,” he turned his gaze from Butcher, “turn it down; it’s the middle of winter in Maine, and I feel like I’m standing in the goddamn sun.”

You blinked, realizing that the room had rapidly become impossibly hot, and everyone had moved far as possible from where you stood. The new, alien feeling that sat under your skin was alight and sharp, almost buzzing through you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, stepping back. MM lowered his arms, a look of what might have been concern flashing across his face, but turned away as the conversation returned to the murder-sheep issue.

You took a few steps back; nobody stopping you or asking for your contribution, fully allowing you to shrink into the wall. You felt your hand move up to your throat, trying to slow the tense, short breaths passing in and out of your body.

“Try thinking of something that calmed you down before.”

You jumped, not having noticed Victoria Neuman move to your side, and gave her a small frown as you responded. “What?”

“Something familiar. Anything that takes the edge off. Trust me,” she gave you a tight-lipped smile. “I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. It won’t get easier on its own. And that,“ she gestured to your hand. “Won’t help it long-term.”

You nodded slowly, forcing yourself to drag your hand from your throat. Something happy. Something happy from before. What had been happy before?

Briefly, city lights flashed in your head, a song on a stereo accompanied by your own hum ringing silently in your ears. It vanished just as fast, but something in your chest loosened, and the feeling waned. Glancing over at Neuman, you saw a small nod of approval before she left your side, allowing you a second to steel yourself before following.

You found yourself standing next to Annie, who gave you a quick and, as far as you could tell, genuine smile before returning her attention to the tense conversation between Butcher and Stan Edgar. The former's voice had grown to a shout, somewhat ranting about a goose-chase for the bioweapon supposedly on this farm, the latter just watching with a cold, indifferent gaze.

“Are you done, Mr. Butcher?” Edgar’s voice betrayed no anger or fear; the only signs of emotion on his face his tightened lips and raised brows. “Because if you are, I would finally be able to share my plan to get us out of this hellhole you dug us.”

Butcher scoffed, but before he could call Edgar either a cunt or a twat—both seemed equally plausible at the moment—the stone-faced man continued.

“While I will be the first to admit that an error was made in regards to a possible weapon against Homelander, I could not call today a complete waste. After all, you introduced me to this… charming young woman. The Anomaly,” he turned to you, and a shiver ran up your spine as he used your supe name. “Is going to help us.”

“Uh,” you paled under the pressing eyes of your team. “No. I don’t, uh, I… no.”

“Yes. You will,” Edgar said. “The V variant you carry is Homelander’s attempt to duplicate the original, the one used on Soldier Boy. Most likely a good attempt. And though the original V was unstable and less than suitable in any practical means, it was potent. I do not think I would be wrong in guessing you are just as strong as Soldier Boy, and likely immortal as well.”

“No.” Annie cut it in. “If you’re going to suggest we use her as fucking bait, the answer is no.”

“I was not going to suggest that, Ms. January, why would I waste such a good product on sheep bait? I am proposing that she simply eliminate our issue. I hear sheep catch fire quite easily.”

Everyone was looking at you now. Waiting for you to step forward and say something, anything. But you were frozen, mouth slightly agape, a million scenarios playing out in your head. You saying yes, and failing to do anything but start a forest fire, the barn burning around you as everyone remained trapped inside. You saying no, and the sheep breaking in and eating everyone alive. You saying yes, but losing control and hitting someone, watching them burn to ash as they screamed. You saying no, and everyone just rotting away in the barn; you yourself unable to do the same. The silence hung in the room, taunt with the way breathing had become labored in your chest, and you thanked a god you didn’t believe in as Annie stepped forward.

“She can’t control it,” she told Edgar. “We’ve been working on it for months, and she’s gotten better, but she can’t. It’s more complicated than it usually is, and it’s new.”

“Well, then I guess we should start to pray she gets lucky. I simply will not die in a barn in Maine, and unless anyone else has a plan, I must insist we start moving. Before the structural integrity fails us, and we all become dinner.”

The room was quiet for another moment, Annie looking as if she wanted to argue, but MM spoke first, his voice laced with reluctance.

“He’s right. We don’t have time to come up with something better.” He sighed, turning to you. “You’re the best bet we’ve got.”

“Still a shit bet,” Butcher muttered.

You agreed.

But Edgar was right.

“Everyone will need to stay inside,” you said softly. “Even if it works, this could get… messy.”

Murmurs of agreement were made, and you turned to Kimiko. “You’re the strongest,” you told her. “You can open and close the door the fastest. Crack it open, I’ll run through, and slam it as fast as you fucking can.”

She nodded, moving to the barn's entrance. As she passed you, she paused, giving your arm a small squeeze and you a small smile before she continued. You smiled back, trying to ignore the flash of her anxiety running through you at the touch. Everyone else began to move to the opposite side, hiding pointlessly behind hay and barrels. Neuman paused, though, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“Something calm,” was all she said before turning to follow Edgar.

Something calm.

City lights. Music. Cheap burgers and cheaper beer. Carefree smiles. Music.

You stood before the doors, giving Kimiko a small thumbs up. She raised her hand, fingers falling from five to four, from four to three.

Two.

One.

You sprinted forward, waited for the sound of a slam behind you, and let go.

The world lit up.

It felt like a hurricane was spilling out of you, like a part of you was being ripped out and launched away. You could see the fire, but not quite feel it. If anything a chill had set itself through your veins, your skin becoming flushed not from heat, but exhaustion. Already darkness was creeping into your eyes, the effort to control the flames splitting the sky taking a toll. It was like a volcano trying to control its eruption, if any of its magma was under the control of the mountain.

But you had to. You could pass out after; you could sleep for a hundred years, but right now you had to control it.

The blood and muck on your skin had been long seared off, the clothes on your back turning into foul-smelling smoke. Your job was long finished now, nothing but bone and sinew remaining of the sheep, but a new problem emerged.

You couldn’t stop. You were burning and burning and burning, and the feeling in your skin wasn’t dulling, but growing. The exhaustion was gone, replaced by pure adrenaline, yanking you up and up, away from relief.

Something calm, Neuman’s voice echoed in your head, and you closed your eyes, trying to hear that long-gone music and see those phantom lights.

It wasn’t working. And you were only getting closer to an edge, a drop into something you’d been so careful to avoid. It was eating you, pushing you further and further. You'd jump into the freezing water of the river but it would just evaporate. You’d bury yourself in the mud but it would just boil, feeding into itself.

Sing, a small part of you begged the rest. Just sing. No use hiding yourself if you’re dead.

You gave in, and began to hum. An empty tune, your voice on key but strained. Slowly, you felt yourself come to, your body returning to your control. You followed the song to the end, and as it ended, just before you collapsed on the ground, relief rushed through you. The fire had lingered, a saving grace from your song. You hadn’t felt any effects, with no hallucinations plaguing your vision before it went dark.

————

The first thing you realized when you woke up was that someone had moved you from the dirt to rest against a tree. The second was that you were no longer naked. Someone had apparently managed to find you clothes, and though they were itchy and a few sizes too big, you were still grateful. The third was that you smelled like shit. You had thought you were covered in blood before, but that now seemed as if it had been bubbles and floral perfume. One might have thought thoroughly barbecued sheep would’ve smelled at least tolerable. They would’ve been wrong. Because you were covered in what of it hadn’t dissipated into smoke, and you smelled like a dumpster full of rubber and fish.

The only person who would come near you was Frenchie, who had forsaken his sense of smell years ago, and had evidently dressed you and pulled you to where you currently sat. Everyone else stood closer to the fence, waiting for their ride back to New York to pull up on the dirt road. You sat alone, eyes still drooping, startled out of your own head as Edgar’s voice cut through the air.

“I must say, I am glad to see my faith in you was not misplaced.”

"Yeah, well,” you shrugged, looking up at where he stood, only a few feet away. “I wouldn’t ask for an encore.”

“I am afraid I may have to. In our prior introduction, it seems you deeply undersold your capabilities.”

“Forgive me, I didn’t have time for self-evaluation when I was being kept in a fucking dungeon.”

Edgar sighed. “I must apologize for that. Though I was not made aware of Homelander’s little escapade, I recognize that you might feel as though I hold some blame.”

“Not an apology,” you muttered. “And I find that hard to believe.”

“Unfortunate, but I cannot force you to accept the truth.” He looked you up and down once before continuing. “And regardless, it is not what I am here to say.”

“I was wrong only once today, and it was when I said you were just as strong as Soldier Boy. You are not. You are much, much stronger. Not physically, of course, but overall. Overall, your power surpasses Soldier Boy’s, surpasses Homelander’s. I know you wish him dead, I would imagine you prefer it to be painful, and very few deaths inflict the suffering felt when one is burned alive. I suggest you learn how to control your gift, and learn fast. You were looking for a weapon, and I am telling you that you are it. Do not waste yourself.”

And he walked away, leaving your mouth open and your eyes wide. You stood to follow him, painfully pulling yourself to your feet, but made only a few steps before you felt a rock hit your back, and you whipped around to find Frenchie behind you, holding a hose.

“Starlight suggests you take a shower before our drive back,” he said, gesturing to the hose.

You blinked, looking back at Edgar, only to watch him be loaded into an armed van. Your brow wrinkled, a part of you wanting to chase the car down and demand Edgar elaborate, but you just turned back to Frenchie with a sigh.

“Sure, just count down before you–“

You cut yourself off as the freezing water hit you in the face.

Thankfully, Frenchie had thought to bring a towel—a gross, possibly moldy towel—but a towel nonetheless, and he handed it to you the moment the hose-down was finished. As his arm stretched out, you noticed a deep gash poking out from his sleeve.

“I can fix that,” you gestured to him. “I mean, I’ll have to touch you, but I won’t tell anyone what I feel, and you won’t have to let MM give you stitches.”

Frenchies frowned, looking at his arm as if only he now noticing his injury. “Are you sure? You must be tired, and–“

“I’ll be fine. Won’t hurt me for more than a few seconds.”

He hesitated, but gave you a nod, rolling up his sleeve before offering his injury to you. You took a deep breath and placed your hand over the wound. It hit you fast, it always did, the onslaught of emotions. You were suddenly twice as tired, a powerful and painful guilt sitting on your shoulders and a self-loathing that was familiar, but not yours, carved itself into your chest. After a second to adjust, you started to work. Your own arm, mirror to Frenchies, began to sting as the skin turned raw and red. You bit your tongue, ignoring it and focusing on keeping yourself going until the cut was gone, the skin was healthy, and there were no signs of any issues in the first place.

“Huh,” Frenchie stated at his unmarked arm, glancing at your own, which was already fully healed itself. “Merci.”

“No problem,” you offered him a grin. “Just don’t tell Butcher you accepted my evil supe healing.”

“You do not,” he frowned slightly. “You do not feel everything, yes? Just, simple, children’s emotions?”

It was your turn to frown. “Children’s emotions?”

“Oui. Joy, fear, sadness. No more.”

Oh. You hesitated to answer, debating if it was worth the lie. It would make him feel better, you reasoned with yourself.

But he wouldn’t trust you, a little voice whispered. And he’ll hate you.

You settled on the truth. You didn’t think you could stand another person hating you.

“No, I feel… everything,” you admitted. “But I wasn’t lying before. I won’t tell anyone.” You paused, watching his face carefully as you continued. “I won’t tell Kimiko.”

A look of shock passed over his face, but Frenchie nodded. “Good. Good. Tres bien,” he gave you a grateful look. “Merci.”

“Anytime,” you gave him a close-lipped smile, and the two of you returned to your group just as your ride pulled up. As you loaded into the car and began the long, tense drive, Edgar’s words replayed on loop in your head.

Your power surpasses Soldier Boy’s, surpasses Homelander’s. Learn how to control your gift, and learn fast. Do not waste yourself.

Do not waste yourself.

You thought back to the last time you saw Homelander. Though it had been from a distance, and he had not even known you were there, your body had frozen. Fear, white-hot and all consuming, had coursed through you. You had almost passed out from it. If you had been face-to-face with him, it might have killed you all on its own.

Do not waste yourself.

You couldn’t fight Homelander. You just couldn’t. You could be capable of overpowering him tenfold, and you still wouldn’t be able to fight him. You knew, in your heart, that his eyes would meet yours and you would be sent right back into that tiny white room, feel his hands holding you down, feel that hollow, empty hopelessness leak from you into the air.

But he needs to die, a small voice whispered in your head. And you’re the Anomaly. You could kill him. You’re the only one who could stop him forever, make sure he never hurts anyone, ever again.

No. No, you couldn’t be the only one. Yes, the biochem weapon had been a bust, and no one else could possibly rival Homelander and come out of it alive. But there had to be other options.

Your power surpasses Soldier Boy’s.

Do not waste yourself.

An idea started to form in your head. A terrible idea. A reckless and dangerous idea. But an idea all the same. And as it became fully formed, you managed to convince yourself more and more that it might somehow work.

Now all you had to do was convince everyone else.

——-

“No. No fucking way.”

The air in the meeting room was tense, mouths hanging open in shock. MM was glaring at you with a disdain you had previously only seen directed at Butcher, Butcher watched at you with a reverence you hope to never see on his face again, Grace Mallory looked all at once disgusted, intrigued, and impressed, and President-Elect Singer frowned as he listened, but gave you a nod to continue regardless.

“I know it’s crazy, but the problem last time was that you couldn’t control him, right? And I could. You can have us isolated, making sure we're out of the public eye and away from any possible collateral until you need us. I’d keep an eye on him, keep him in line, and he wouldn’t be able to hurt me.”

“I, for one, think this is an amazing idea. Best one I ever heard,” Butcher grinned at you. “Worst case scenario, it goes sideways, he kills her, we knock him out, and everyone still wins.”

“What part of ‘he wouldn’t be able to hurt me’ don’t you understand?” You snapped back.

“What if he blasts you with his fucking reactor?” MM pushed. “Makes you just another human? What’s your plan then?”

“That wouldn’t work on me,” you responded dryly.

Butcher snorted, but Mallory raised an eyebrow.

“Really? What makes you so sure?”

“One of the tests that was run on me was putting me in a room and blasting it with nuclear energy. They dropped Hiroshima on me, and it did jack shit. Soldier Boy throwing a temper tantrum won’t be any different.”

“And how do you think you could control him?” Singer asked.

“I can burn up to 5500 degrees Celsius. That’s hotter than a bomb. Won’t kill him, will knock him the fuck out. And it’ll hurt.”

“I just can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner,” Butcher mused. “It’s fuckin' perfect.”

You glowered at him. “Stop helping me.”

MM looked at Mallory. “The fact that America’s number one unstable asshole,” he gestured to Butcher. “Is on board should be enough to tell you how stupid this is.”

“Number two unstable asshole,” you said under your breath.

“Thanks, Love,” Butcher winked at you.

“Yeah well, don’t be so pleased. You’re only just losing to Homelander.”

Butcher shrugged, and you returned your attention to Singer. “Sir, please trust me. I, more than almost anyone, know how dangerous this could be. But Homelander is more dangerous. We needed a weapon,” you echoed Edgar’s words. “This is it.”

Singer nodded slowly, and MM scoffed.

“You can’t be seriously considering this. He’s a fucking unstable asshole murderer and a goddamn liability. What if we wake him up, she can’t control him, and he gets free?”

“We said whatever it takes,” you snapped. “I wouldn’t be pitching this if I thought it wouldn’t work. I can control him, I promise.”

“You’d bet your life on it?” Mallory asked.

“My life?” You snorted. “In a heartbeat.”

Mallory sighed. “Then fine,” she shot a look to Singer. “I’ll sign off if you do.”

“Sir,” MM said, sounding almost desperate. “I am begging you, do not do this.”

Singer just shook his head slightly. “Desperate times, they make you do desperate things. If I saw another way, I’d take it, but for now we’ll have to make do. I approve the request.”

“Thank you, sir.” You gave Singer a grateful nod, ignoring the searing feeling of MM’s anger.

“Don’t thank me, girl. If this goes south, it’s your head. Grace, set up a safe house for them ASAP, if I’m signing off on this I want it moving fast.”

Mallory nodded. “It’ll take a few days. We’ll have to transport him there before we wake him up.”

“Do whatever you have to,” Singer said as he stood to leave. “If this is our only shot, we can’t afford to miss.”

[lifeafterartsch00l]

The answer is yes, yes they have plz see below~

✨MY FAVE KAKAIRU FICS✨

A change of pace this week from the usual sasunaru programming to celebrate Naruto’s gay dads, feat. my terrible memes

As per usual, I’ll try and find the authors to tag them, if you know who they are on tumblr, plz tag them in the comments! 💖

He ships it

Worship by decaf_kitty

Careful it’s hot 🥵

Beloved decaf kitty, may your coffee never be bitter, may your pillow be the perfect temperature, and you never get writer’s block ❤️ amen! Please read this one shot it’s AMAZING

“Additional Tags: Slow Build, Romance, Resolved Sexual Tension, Explicit Sexual Content, Begging, Inappropriate Use of the Sharingan

Summary: Late at night, Kakashi and Iruka randomly meet at a ramen stand... One little conversation later, they're in Kakashi's bedroom, with Iruka on his knees, and a blushing Kakashi staring down at the sensei between his bare thighs”

Kintsugi by The_Rivers_Dark

She ships it

I excitedly followed each new chapter release of this fic 💕 most incredible descriptions of intimacy, a fantastic writer 💕 also Tsunade tries to meddle and it’s just terrific (read it to find out if it works tehe) 💕 so wonderful, a comforting fic like a warm hug (but also really sexy idk man I’m not a writer clearly haha).

“Additional Tags: Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, less hurt more comfort, Comfort, hurt comfort that turns to comfort, hurt comfort that turns to comfort erotica, comfort erotica, Erotica, mutual pining to mutual love, Love, Romance, Smut, Shameless Smut, Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, come for the erotica stay for the comfort, come for the comfort stay for the erotica, if it’s broken fix it and never let it out of your sight again, painting with muted colours never suited my literary palette, Tsunade as a cockblock device and a meddler, plot arc what plot arc, pacing what pacing, Whirlwind Romance, we’re all about the comfort here, Roommates, And then they were roommates, Eventual marriage, Marriage, they get married at the end, Getting Together, Sweet/Hot, Happy Ending, for all you Kakashi-level perverts out there sexy tags include but are not limited to, Frotting, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Hair-pulling, Nipple Play, 69 (Sex Position), Spanking, Fingerfucking, Blindfolds, it doesn’t count as a threesome if one of them is a shadow clone, Sweet, Spicy, sweet and spicy, Rimming, Snippet beta we die like Akatsuki villains only to be resurrected again, Domestic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Idiots in Love, Light Bondage, versatile lovers, Top Hatake Kakashi, Top Umino Iruka, Belonging

Summary:

Kintsugi: The Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of an object's history, rather than something to disguise.

(Iruka gets heavily injured in a mission gone wrong. Problem is, Tsunade knows he won't stay in the hospital long enough to recuperate. Kakashi finds himself volunteering to be his carer. As they get closer, the tension between them reaches a boiling point. Complete.)”

Unspoken by RenGoneMad

Incredible canon-compliant rewrite where Kakashi and Iruka meet much earlier (kind of, you’ll see). And Kakashi has a long time cruuuuuuush 😜 the banter/flirting is really cute. The pacing and development of the relationship is so so good! The way the author gets into their heads is just great. Both 🔥 & heartwarming! ❤️

“Additional Tags: Romance, Slow Burn, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Fluff and Angst, Hatake Kakashi-centric, POV Hatake Kakashi, Secret Identity, Canon Compliant, Canon - Manga, Complete, Kissing, Sexual Tension, Obsession, But not unhealthy or creepy, Pining, Stalking, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicide, (as complies with canon)

Summary: The memorial stone should be a place to mourn the dead, a place to remember the many sins and failures that haunt Hatake Kakashi.

To Iruka, it's a place to speak to his parents, and the mysterious ANBU who listens.

Follows Kakashi from ages 14 to 29, and the many ways Iruka changes his life”

The Outcasted by yeou_bi

Sensual, erotic, all without anything explicit (yet?). They way they’re falling in love is so cute 😭 Just lovely ❤️ I hope the author writes more chapters! 😊🤞🏽

“Chapters: 3/?

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Additional Tags: Hospitalization, Illnesses, References to Illness, Loneliness, POV Alternating, Present Tense, Skin diseases, Slow Burn, Denial of Feelings, Nausea, Touch-Starved, Touching, Hurt/Comfort, Pandemics, Dysfunctional Relationships, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Bullying, Discrimination

Summary: During the outbreak of a mysterious disease, Kakashi finds himself sharing a clinic room with Iruka.

What begins as simple moments of sharing the same burden slowly turns confusing. When physical touch could mean an infection, it also becomes a commodity that's hard to come by for those who are recovering”

Thank you to all the talented authors! 💕

[cherryslyce]

Sharp Knives, Sharp Gazes | Clove Kentwell

Synopsis: A dangerous attraction to one of the deadly careers leads to more than you could have bargained for, including unlikely friendships and romance.

Masterlist

Pairing: Clove Kentwell x District 4!Reader

Notes: Not canon compliant (Glimmer lives, careers are OOC because they are not mindless killers). Someone save Finnick before Y/N gives him a heart attack. Marvel is fun to write, even though I'm a Cato fan.

A prickle of anxiety jolted down your spine as you lifted your eyes and met a pair of amused ones. Your eyes flickered down and paused on the grin stretching across her freckled face.

She was undeniably pretty, but the deadly glint in her eyes convinced your fellow tributes to stay away from her. Somehow, you had caught her attention and you would have been endlessly flustered had it not been for the dire circumstances you found yourself in.

“Hey, 4. You look scrappy enough. Good. The last few years your district has produced nothing but disappointments.”

You snap out of your trance and tear your gaze away from the menacing girl from District 2, coming face to face with the smug male tribute from 1–Marvel.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, 1.”

“Feisty. Look, for some reason Clove thinks it would be interesting to bring you into our fold. Don’t look at me like that, she said it, not me. So what do you say? Care to live up to District 4’s legacy as a part of the Career Pack, or are you going to scamper around and die off like a fish out of water?”

The boy finished his (very convincing) speech with a sigh as if you were the terrible inconvenience in this situation. Although, despite how annoyed you grew with him, you respected his skills with a spear and it was apparent he held some begrudging respect for you as well.

“Clove? I thought Cato was your leader? I don’t think he’s open for recruitment, shouldn’t you run this idea past him first?”

“He’s not a dictator, you’ll be fine. Besides, we can all see how valuable you are. You fling around that trident of yours like it’s an extension of your arm.”

Oh. Marvel just praised you. Had you knocked your head too many times on the train ride to the Capitol?

“And then what, you’ll slit my throat in my sleep when I’m no longer of use?”

He smiles a little at your retort before growing serious, an expression so foreign on his face that you couldn't help but wait patiently to hear what he had to say next.

“Maybe. But you have a better chance with us. Who knows, maybe you’ll even win this and get to go home. Bring pride to your district and whatnot.”

You were definitely dreaming. This was the same Marvel who you thought was a bloodthirsty, hormonal time bomb. Turns out he may hate this situation nearly as much as you.

“I’ll think about it. See you at the interviews tonight, Marvel.”

He nods as if expecting your answer, though you catch his eyebrows raising up as you address him properly for the first time.

“See you around, Y/N.”

As he stalks off towards his favorite station--the spear throw station, you look around to see Clove watching you with an unreadable expression. Luckily, it appeared to be less murderous than usual.

Well that’s nice. Better than having her plotting ways to skin me.

It is not until you’re waiting in line for the interviews with Caesar to start that Clove finally approaches you.

“Y/N. Marvel said you would consider joining us in the arena. I look forward to it.”

You gape as you look at the girl, face heating up uncomfortably as you could barely register her words. She looked so…pretty.

The girl looks at you in concealed wonder, eyes twinkling with mischief. You’re confused for a few moments before you make eye contact with an amused Marvel behind her.

“You don’t look bad yourself, Y/N.”

The girl spins around and stalks off towards Cato who’s begun watching the three of you like you’ve all grown another head.

“Smooth. Didn’t know you had the hots for her. I guess you were quite happy that she was the one to ask for you.”

Marvel grins at you, and for once it’s not a condescending ‘I’m better than you’ type of grin. You groan quietly to yourself, too tired to even flinch when he swings an arm around your shoulder and drags you towards the line of tributes.

Well if the other tributes had no idea of your allegiance, they sure did now.

“So you’re with us then?”

“I don’t have any other choice, you’re already clinging to me like a barnacle.”

Cato smiles, oh so minutely, at your remark to Marvel, nodding at you with a reinvigorated respect that he didn’t seem to extend to many.

Glimmer’s pleased grin greets you briefly before she’s being ushered onto the stage, her face morphing into a blinding, albeit fake, smile.

And so it begins. Hopefully Finnick would be able to nab some sponsors for you.

Yeah. Some sponsors would be good right about now.

You were on the verge of just throwing yourself face-first into Cato’s sword.

Glimmer had a close call with a swarm of tracker jackers, and somehow in the mess Katniss managed to escape. To say your allies were pissed would be the understatement of the year.

Seriously, you were sure one of the trees began to wilt after being faced with the withering look Cato sent it.

”Y/N. Go with Clove to gather some wood.”

“Yes, dad.”

Cato looks around before shooting a quick middle finger at you, an exasperated twitch of the lip taking over his face for the briefest moment before defaulting to his usual grimace of contained rage.

You were sure he was somewhat fond of you considering he hadn’t tried to bite your head off yet.

You round on your heel, habitually twirling your trident over your wrist. Clove is not far behind you as you dart your eyes around the trees.

“Once I get my hands on fire girl, I’m going to tear her limb from limb.”

“I have no doubt you will. Can’t say I’m her biggest fan at the moment. She was aiming to snatch Glimmer’s bow, who knows what kind of devastation she would reign upon us if she succeeded. Good thing one of us managed to wake up.”

“Hm, pretty smug for someone who was cuddled up on me all night like a toasted log.”

A laugh manages to slip through your lips and you’re positive everyone watching back at home is convinced you’ve lost your mind. Seriously, laughing from actual joy during the Hunger Games while stranded in a pack of groomed killers is not the sanest of activities.

Honestly, you would give anything to see how Finnick was coping.

You look back quick enough to catch a pleased look wash over Clove’s features.

Before you could even stop yourself, a river of words flew out of your mouth and you were stuck between not caring and being mortified.

“I meant what I said by the way. You’re really pretty.”

Your remark must have caught her off guard as she suddenly stops midstep, an unnerving silence blanketing around the both of you.

“It’s a shame then, that we met here of all places.” Clove’s words held no bite, though the bitterness in her tone was evident to anyone with a good set of ears.

Taking a hesitant step towards her, you slowly and shakily reach down for her hand. Clove looks down at your fingers, swiftly meeting you in the middle and clasping your fingers together.

“It’s not so bad. After all, we wouldn’t have met if not for the games. I’m glad I get to spend what’s left of my life here with you guys.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

Clove’s sudden fury was not aimed at you, but at something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“You’re right, who could have foreseen me getting along with Cato of all people.”

“No. I mean don’t talk like you’re already dead.”

Clove’s stern words take you by surprise, and a sudden tightness constricts your throat as you swallow down a wave of fondness.

She was looking at you like you could actually win this whole thing. Like it didn’t matter to her if that meant she would have to die.

She steps towards you, a vulnerable glint flecking at the usual indifference of her gaze. Her mind was trained to be a killer, but District 2’s Academy did little to train her heart.

You bring your free hand to cup her cheek, breaking into a watery smile. Leaning over, you press your lips firmly on hers.

Suddenly it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that your moment of vulnerability was being televised to the rest of the nation. It didn’t matter that Finnick was probably dragging his hands down his face in exasperation in the District 4 apartment. It didn’t matter that someone could break through the tree line and jam a knife into your neck.

Clove kissed back with the same amount of fervor, hands slowly rising up to hug your waist.

Fuck. You were ready to throw your life away to make sure she made it out of here. And all it took was her pretty little freckled face and her fiery eyes.

After what seemed to be an eternity, you both pull away for air. You gently brush her cheek with your thumb as she gripped your waist tighter.

“I’m going to make sure you go home, Clove.”

Before she could retort, you both snap out of your little moment as voices approach from behind you.

“Fuck. See, I told you! Wood, my ass! They’re sucking face!”

Marvel’s voice rings through the air and suddenly your three allies are approaching you both, donning similar amused looks.

“I guess this note makes a lot more sense now.”

Cato’s words only serve to confuse you until he holds up a sponsor package along with a note.

‘Tell Y/N that she’s killing me -F’

“He has a flair for dramatics.” Glimmer’s words were just so incredibly ironic that you and the others had to make effort to bury the thought.

“Oh, you have no idea.”

[dharmasharks]

I read so many neat fics this summer thanks to the @ficreadingchallenge and managed to black out my bingo card! Not only did I finally get to stories that had been languishing in my TBR for literal years, but I discovered tons of delightful fics in genres I wouldn't have sought out otherwise.

Thank you mods for organizing this, I’m already itching to do it again. Bingo card below the cut, plus my unhinged ramblings about the 24 fics I got to read. (Mostly Stucky, but also a smattering of Sambucky, MattFoggy, a Winterhawk, a Captive Prince, and a Catwin.) 

WIP: on the shore of the wild world by verger_de_pommiers

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 19k | Civil War AU

In which a fierce little Steve shelters wounded union soldier Bucky in his remote cabin. Gorgeous prose, immersive historical detail, and tender protectiveness. I lucked into finding this as it was posting (it’s now complete!) and felt like the author had been reading my dream fic journal because it ticked so many of my very specific boxes!

No powers AU: Broken But Mending by Lissadiane

MCU | Bucky x Clint | M | 15k | Modern AU

Bucky is a recovering war vet who starts rebuilding his life one instagram post, coffee, and plant at a time with some motivation from Clint Barton’s weekly sex advice column. Spoiler: the advice isn’t so much about sex as it is about trying again, and accepting that we’re all scared and scarred and worthy of love anyway. Read this on a day where your heart needs a big hug of happiness. 

Secret relationship: Don't Ask by AnnaFugazzi

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 21k | WW2 

I’ve seen this fic recced a lot for wartime stucky but was admittedly apprehensive because it’s canon-compliant and we all know where that train gets off, ya know? This is not a lighthearted premise either: Steve and Bucky get outed and because they’re a propaganda machine, the Howlies are ordered to keep their relationship a secret, despite their intense discomfort—all told in a devastatingly effective outsider perspective from Gabe. I appreciate that the author didn’t shy away from depicting unflattering (and hard to read!) period-typical attitudes, including those Gabe and Morita would have faced in the service.

Newest fic in the tag of your choice: Cabin Fever by missbeizy

MCU | Steve x Bucky | E | 5k | Cabin PWP

Missbeizy never fails to deliver on beautifully written stucky smut that caters to my tastes, so when I got that notification you better believe I jumped on it stat. Even in their shorter fics, they always build up a lovely setting and tension, which makes the eventual hot, hot sexy times feel even sexier. (All their stucky fics are *chefs kiss* — Foothold and Number of Years are my favorites.)

Mission fic: (With eyes shut) it's you I'm thinking of by Yavannie

MCU | Sam x Bucky | E | 3k | Partners with Benefits

Gosh only knows I enjoy a dynamic where it’s easier for two closed-off people to communicate physically than to actually talk! About their feelings! Good stuff!

Found family: Only the Good Die Young by ZenaidaMacroura / @zenaidamacrouras1

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 23K | Shrunkyclunks

There’s banter both awkward and charming, sweet sweet crushing, and a whole cast of wonderful characters who care so much (even when it’s hard). I love the dynamics between everyone in paramedic!Bucky’s crew and the way they look out for each other.

Pets: no years of silence in the shadow of regret by Ginny_Potter / @hipsterdiva

MCU | Steve x Bucky | G | 9k | De-serumed Steve

I don’t usually have the strength for post-EG fic, but look at me now, I read three this summer! Here, Steve is irrevocably changed by everything he’s endured, and he suffers for it in the most perfectly Steve-ish way: very, very quietly. Such a satisfying balance of grief and hope as Bucky tries to bridge the distance Steve’s put between them (and his acquired pet, The Dog) in order to protect himself from the possibility of loss. 

Mythical creature AU: all this and heaven too by spinawren

Captive Prince | Laurent x Damen | M | 15k | Selkie AU

I may never get over how perfect a Lighthouse keeper / selkie AU is for these characters. There’s Laurent, whose sense of self-preservation is so integral to his sense of self that giving love feels like giving a part of himself away—because it means giving up your armor. And Damon: unwaveringly devoted, who knows that love isn’t taken, it’s a choice you both keep making. I want to live in the lush world of this fic forever. 

Oldest fic in the fandom: Genie In A Bottle bykupcake_goddess

Dead Boy Detectives | Cat King x Edwin | E | 2K | Missing Scene

Edwin was hot for that hot cat guy and they should have kissed about it. Fanfic is great.

Fake dating: The Constellation of Touch by what_alchemy

Daredevil | Matt x Foggy | E | 19k | Pretend Relationship

What’s juicier than fake dating your best friend? Fake dating your best friend while actually going through a messy (law partnership) divorce! Featuring: wonderful Nelson family dynamics, a singular bed, and the intimacy of getting to know the person you thought you knew best all over again. I’ve read a lot of gorgeous depictions of the way Matt experiences the world, but these might be some of my favorites. 

Author’s oldest fic: the wrote and the writ by stewyonmolly

MCU | Steve x Bucky | G | 10k | everybody lives, nobody gets serumed

You know when you read the first paragraph of a fic and go, “yes ha ha ha YES,” like a sicko, but what you’re really sick over is the author’s style? That’s how I feel about this fic. I would eat the dialogue if I could! While it includes one of my favorite soft premises (everyone home safe in post-war Brooklyn, the end), Bucky doesn’t come back unscathed. But Steve–and this is a wonderful, wonderful Steve–never dances around Bucky’s amputation and Bucky never coddles him back.

Parallel universe: Except it Abide in the Vine by spitandvinegar

MCU | Steve x Bucky x Sam | M | 27k | Multiverse Shenanigans 

If you’re afraid of the summary just know that there is a place for every Steve and every Steve in its place, which is with a Bucky (and/or a Sam)!!! And by golly are there a lot of Buckys to love in this one, including a scrappy 616!bucky with the most pockets and everyone’s favorite cannibal, Sweetpea. There are plenty of melty exchanges (and breathtaking art!) but my favorite multiverse moments are always when a WS!bucky gets to see a small Steve again. I could read it a million times and it would never be enough. 

Free space: When I Put Away Childish Things by hansbekhart

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 14k | Prewar

One of the most vivid and immersive prewar settings I’ve had the pleasure of reading, which is saying something, because I have read a [redacted] quantity of prewar stucky. The narrative structure is so powerful and effective, even if you already know what we’re building toward. The author also has my new favorite take on Bucky’s enlistment status, which felt nicely refreshing (and this is a 10 year old fic!) given the otherwise ubiquitous fanon.

Space AU: We'll meet again in Brooklyn by Gfawkes / @gfawkesphoenixchokingonashes

MCU | Steve x Bucky | E | 33k | Scifi AU

Amazing dystopian premise and world building featuring the bravest small nurse Steve and a devoted and self-sacrificing soldier Bucky. They’re both so loyal to each other but also to their separate friends and teammates.

Werewolf AU: you touch me within and so i (know i could be human once again) by notcaycepollard

MCU | Sam x Bucky | E | 12k | werewolf!bucky

In this canon-adjacent-verse, Bucky is freed from Hydra’s clutches, but they turned him into a (very soft and sweet) werewolf who just needs to be cuddled and petted and maybe bossed around a little bit. Sam is understandably beside himself…and also up to the task. 

Vampire AU: the blood is the life by obsessivereader

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 3K | vampire!bucky

When Bucky keeps sneaking off to bite a lot of strange young men, Steve’s biggest concern is, “Why not me????” I love the trope that the super soldier healing factor makes them great vampire companions.

Short fic: give up on trying to save us by returnsandreturns

Daredevil | Matt x Foggy | E | <1000 | Hate Sex

They’re rival lawyers, they banter, they are not going to have sex with each other again except that oh no, yes they are! What’s not to love!?

Slow burn: Steve Rogers, PA by sparkagrace / @sparkagrace

MCU | Steve x Bucky | T | WIP | Hunkyclinks

Hopefully you all are reading this one already because it’s a freakin delight all around. The premise is incredible and very funny, but there is also action and wound tending and my favorite thing ever, which is Steve and Bucky always managing to know each other better than anyone.

Holiday fic: Teshuva by JHSC

MCU | Steve x Bucky | T | 6K | Recovering Bucky

I could not find it in me to read a holiday (lbr: Christmas) fic over the summer, but ‘tis the season for atonement, y’all! That’s right, Yom Kippur is upon us, and this was a really lovely read on Bucky coming to terms with his memories, his relationship to his mother, and what it means to seek forgiveness. 

Medieval AU: The Tale of the Silver-Armed Knight by BeaArthurPendragon

MCU | Steve x Bucky | E | 5K | medieval AU

I had never come across a medieval fic in my journeys before, so this was a fun scavenger hunt. I managed to stumble my way into some sexy, sexy treasure by way of smithy!Steve measuring knight!Bucky for a special suit of armor. Amazing historical detail including—and I am very serious—D/S dynamics that felt so period appropriate. 

Video edit: Evidence by @bromcommie / vivelarevolution

MCU | Bucky Barnes

Why are you reading this rec list (or whatever this is) when you could be watching and reblogging this fucking edit! Are you watching it yet? Are you??? OP’s perfectly matched dialogue, parallels, and transitions will destroy you and you WILL thank them for it. (Thank you, Max.) The build up from the quiet of Bucky’s therapy session to the blurred violence between Bucky, the Soldier, and everyone he’s been in between is beautifully gutting.

Inspired by another fanwork: [Podfic] If They Haven't Learned Your Name by quietnight

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | Post-CATWS

I’m far from the first to praise quietnight’s incredible voicework and podfic production, but holy heck, I’ll do it anyway. I have a hard time getting into audiobooks, and have never had a problem feeling fully immersed in their works. Silentwalrus’s story deserves all the praise it gets, too. A lovely balance of humor and heart, action and character work. 

Fluff: Invisible Ink by ctimene

Daredevil | Matt x Foggy | E | 16K | Tattoo Parlor AU

Hard to write a rec that isn’t just keysmashing and squealing sounds but OKAY FINE I’ll try. This ‘verse manages to parallel canon in ways that are both delightful and heart twisting, with all of Foggy’s heart, kindness, and snark translated to tattooing instead of lawyering. And they were still avocados! And also: sexy. Really, extremely sexy.

Time travel: Some legends are told by chaosmanor, rufferto

MCU | Steve x Bucky | E | 26K | Neolithic Wanderings 

In which Steve will go to any length to find Bucky, including 4 thousand years into the past (while wearing a very short tunic). I absolutely devoured this and was beside myself with delight over its uniqueness and all around nerdery—so many amazing and specific historical details.

Domestic: t'aimer sur les bords du lac by burning_brighter / @burnin-brighter

MCU | Steve x Bucky | M | 17k | Post-EG

Lovely and soft wish fulfillment: put those boys in a cabin until they can get the rest they deserve…and also talk about their feelings! I loved how careful they were with each other until they slowly found their footing again.

[naamelless]

existential crisis

; been mulling this idea over since no way home showed. context is basically that the other you finds out that their existence solely relies on whether or not they find their spider-man. and unfortunately, it is a consistent trend between you and your other versions. and i mean it when it only relies on meeting spider-man, because you die for it if you don’t.

; non-canon compliant (sorry, miguel) since i want miles to be around here. a bit of miguel o’hara/you. self-love? self-comfort? lol. kinda bittersweet.

Being Miguel O’Hara’s assistant was not an easy feat — would have been the sole thought constantly running through your mind as your eyes reviewed every report sent in on the holograms around you. It was cute, your dear friend was generous enough to give you your own space to work on… just a little far below than his very dramatic supervillain platform.

“Lyla, dear, mind saving these under the save file ‘80085’,” you muttered, your fingertips touching the holo projections and casting them for the tiny AI assistant to catch. She makes a show of struggling to catch it before doing as she’s told.

“Sweetheart, I love you as a fellow assistant, but I think it’s time to change the file name to something more… appropriate? When Miguel looked through the folders, he wasn’t too happy.” Lyla sighs, “And while I like pissing him off, I’d rather you not get your own butt handed to you, eh?”

You only huffed out a quiet laugh. “That was the intention. And I was so sure you’d have been used to his constant disapproval already.” You then waved a hand, dismissing the AI’s concern. “Anyway, it’s alright. I’ll change it.”

“…I would like to replay the same promise of yours ten months ago.” Lyla huffs this time, crossing her arms as she turned up her nose. “You’re bad at keeping promises. Last month I asked you to make some refinements for the tune-up you also promised.”

A tiny guilty frown worms its way through your lips as you looked at Lyla, “Sorry, dear, work has been demanding. You know how it is with the man who constantly gets in between our us time…” You gently coaxed her out before she finally sighed and gave in to your little apology.

Of course she had every expectations that you would only dedicate your next time off to her and only her. You were tied down at that point when she threatened to reset the access codes in your own files.

This was the normality you suddenly faced after being convinced (coerced, in fact) by Miguel to help him keep the multiverse safe. You had been a faithful friend to him through and through, following him with boundless loyalty that could make any other Spider-Man without a friend jealous. You tailed him around and outside of his missions, rarely do the other arachnids see you or Miguel without each other.

Though that was the least of your concerns, not when you looked through the current missions. There were several anomalies appearing all at the same time, and suddenly it was hands on deck. Really, it was impressive just how screwed up the vast multiverse was. If you weren’t the lapdog of quantum physics, you were sure your head would have imploded already. Your eyes narrowed while your ears strained as Miguel did his mission briefing to the other spiders.

As expected, you’re asked to hold down the fort in case of any emergency. You make no promises that you can do so, as usual, and Miguel brushes it off with an eye roll. He already knows you — he knows you’d protect your creations with your life. And unfortunately for you, a good chunk of the tech and research in the headquarters were indeed, your creations.

“That’s all for your assignments. Try not to screw this up, please.” Miguel’s tiny plea was laced with pure exasperation as he pinched the bridge of his nose, likely directed at the four spiders in question. “And no silly antics like switching partners at the last minute. There’s a reason why I’m keeping you both separate.” He glares at Hobie and Miles, to which the other scoffs and only smiles sheepishly at, respectively.

And just as everyone was getting ready to take off, a golden sparking ring appears and in an instant, the spiders were quick on their feet.

“Wha—”

“YOU BASTARD—!!”

A blur whizzes past every arachnid and quickly darts to its target — you.

Everyone yells your name in alarm and soon they found you tackled and getting strangled by this figure. Miles and Gwen quickly act and pull the perpetrator off of you and you sat up, coughing roughly as you tried to massage the sides of your neck. It was a surprisingly accurate place when this figure strangled you.

“Are you okay?!” Peter B. immediately drops to his knees and fusses over you. He looks back up, “Hey buddy, you can’t just portal your way in here and—! Oh my god…”

You coughed, laughing out a strained laughter, wincing as you looked at yourself. Only that it’s you… but younger, and an absolute mess. And not the kind of mess of a scientist who looks terrible after a rigorous experimental research… but the kind of mess who has lost someone dear to them.

Miles and Gwen both glance down and immediately get goosebumps. It’s you… except a lot more hostile… a lot more… feral as it bore its teeth at you, snarling like a caught wild animal. He could feel them struggle as they tried to make another attempt in lunging at you. Of course, as a Spider-Man and a Spider-Woman, both of them made little effort in holding this… terrifying version of you back.

“…The resemblance is uncanny…” Pavitr whispers to Hobie and Jess.

“A true free spirit,” Hobie commends with an approving nod.

Even Miguel was stunted. It was you, alright. He had known you the longest. He proudly owns the throne as your first ever friend in your universe. And he has seen you at this age. But you weren’t a hothead, you were far from this snarling teenager.

“You sick, evil bastard—! How long have you known?! How long?!” The younger you screams, and in an instant you understood. Call it a self-intuition, but the anguish in their eyes was something you’ve known. You stared at yourself in the mirror before, and have seen the same glimmer of agony and suffering in those eyes of yours.

“You know this guy?” Jess asks the one question around everyone’s head.

You only laughed, dry, which further infuriates the younger you, “No, not personally. But… I guess I know myself well enough to realize what caused such an action from… me.” You sighed a little, standing up with the help of Peter and walked a little closer, still massaging your neck. “That portal was strangely familiar. Where are you from?”

“Earth-199999,” younger you spits out, still with a glare.

Miguel perks up in recognition. That one was an ass of a mission to him. It gave him many headaches and you, a lot of adjustments in your equipment. He only clicks his tongue at the thought of that little nerd with Dr. Strange. That was one multiverse mishap he’d rather not experience any longer.

“And I guess you’re here to ask some questions.” You nod over to the young spiders. “Let them go, I’m smart enough to know I don’t stand a chance against one Spider-Man, much less a room full of them.”

They reluctantly abide you and the younger you stands up, stance almost at the ready to pounce on you and Miguel notices, with himself ready to shield you in any case that this much more feral, younger you decides that there’s nothing left to lose and take your life from you.

“…How long have you known?” Younger you repeats their question, fists balled up as it itched to punch you. “Out of all of us, apart from you, I’m the only one who figured it out because I have access to an all-powerful wizard that can screw with the multiverse.”

“How long have they known about what?” Miles asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at the other you in concern. Never has he seen so much hate in your eyes. Well… technically not you, but still the same. He was so used to your open and almost lackadaisical attitude that it was suddenly unnerving to see you so frigid and full of anger.

The younger you takes a deep breath before looking at everyone in the room with unbridled hatred, “How long have you known that our life only depends on these freaks?”

“Freaks? How mean! Is everyone in your universe this rude?”

“It’s okay, Pavitr,” You smiled, waving him off and your other self takes offense to that, taking a step forward to lunge at you when Miguel quickly steps in between you and your other self. “They have the right to be angry. Believe me, even I was when I found out myself. Though by then, I was sure it’s already too late for the other me’s.”

“No. You can’t say that. Not when I see you’re clearly operating with the multiverse. You let the other versions of us live in the painful reality that all we needed to live was to befriend some guy who got bit by a damn spider!”

“It’s not that… it’s the precedent of letting things happen naturally.”

Your other self reels in shock, “Watching other versions of us die because we were insignificant to some insect guy was natural?! That was natural?!” They shriek and immediately push past the towering hunk that was your best friend.

Every other spider looks at your other version, “Well… we’re spiders are technically not an insect, so…” they all mumble.

“Shut it.” Your other self snaps at the rest.

“…Your anger is coming from a place of loss. Seeing that you’re from that Earth… I’m guessing you had to be reintroduced at the prospect of multiverse, huh?”

“I had to force that wizard to talk to me. You have no idea what it felt like to forget the one person that meant to me more than anything!”

Gwen sighs at the conversation, she could barely understand — you were cryptic with your words as always (really, your ominous and know-it-all attitude is like Miguel with his dramatic platform). “Can you please tell us what happened? At least let us catch up to speed. Seems like the only understanding this convo is the two of you.”

“Do they know?” Your other you asks with a dead laugh. “Do they also know that there’s us? Do they also know how utterly detrimental our relationship to them is to our life?”

You pursed your lips before sighing, “I— no… but…”

“Why did I even ask?” Your other self turns to the other arachnids. “Well, take a good look at us. Drink it all up, because you’ll never know if the version of us in your own world is probably already six feet under.”

“…What—”

“Stop it. Yeesh. We’re not this bitter. That Earth really did numbers on you.” You sighed before crossing your arms, looking at your confused friends. “But they’re right. There’s a good chance the other [Name]’s in your universe is as good as dead. It was after getting into this whole multiverse business that I found out that there is another [Name] in every other universe. It’s a consistent existence — sorry Hobie — that I have. I exist in a world where there is Spider-Man.”

Your other self looks away and faces the myriad of holo monitors instead on Miguel’s lowered platform. Their eyes watching every anomaly.

“But… unfortunately, our existence relies on the path of whether or not we meet… our Spider-Man. It all ends the same. I throw myself off the building and depending on how it goes, Spider-Man will either save me… or I will plummet to my death with a good splat.” You dismissively wave a hand. “It’s all complicated though. Sometimes, there are factors that change how I live. Maybe no one will save me because my Spider-Man in that universe has yet to be bitten… or maybe he is on duty but he’s busier dealing with a bigger problem than saving some sad person. But out of it, the fact remains the same… Spider-Man has to do it.”

You frown as you recount every moment the other you would die because of it. And you hated it. You hated that you had to watch yourself die over and over again, just because the thought of befriending that one nerd never crossed your mind.

“Anyway, point is… I’ve been through it… Miguel has caught me from that moment, and this younger me probably had their Peter do it to them too.” You smiled a little, patting your other self’s shoulder, who only scoffed and shoved your hand off. “Most likely, there is a chance that the other me’s in your own universes have done it or will eventually do it. You could say… it’s my own canon event.”

Silence engulfed the entire room after your explanation. It was a less than admirable backstory, you’ll admit, but you had no choice but to bear through it. You were the same as the other you’s — a background character, an empty shell who relied on the chance of fate in meeting the would be Spider-Man in your universe. In a sense, you were like the MJ to most Peters. Except you were the less important character, the one who only survives if you’re lucky enough; and the one whose death will just be a reminder for Spider-Man to keep doing good.

You were just a plot point for them and you’ve grown to accept that. Not so much with this other version of you, however.

You sighed and nudged your much taller friend, “Go, Miguel. You still have anomalies to catch. I’ll take care of this mess.” You said, briefly glancing at Earth-199999 you.

Miguel catches on and nods, turning to the other spiders and quickly ushers them to their own mission. He looks back at you with a tinge of worry before going on his own. Peter B. and Jess only pass by you with a good natured pat on your shoulder and a ruffle to your messy hair before they also headed on their own.

Heaving another sigh, you look at the other you, finally basking in the free atmosphere despite the fact that this other you is still grieving and drowning in their own existential crisis.

“…It’s not easy being [Name] once you found your Spider-Man. You’re thrown into a lot more wacky adventures. You’re always facing their ridiculous jokes while fighting villains. You’re the butt of every nerdy ramble. You’re forced to be the friend that has to bear through the pain of seeing your hero friend get hurt. You’re always the secret medic — patching them up at the age of sixteen or older without any intricate knowledge on sutures. You’re forced to face the fact that this limber person that you call your friend is also the one always on the brink of death trying to do good and save everyone.”

You sat down on the platform, legs dangling from the little elevated height. “Miguel and I used to argue every night because I can’t imagine seeing my friend put himself through so much. He’s an idiot… but at least he’s a good idiot. I watched him build a family, cared for him when he lost them and waited for him when he left me to replace his other self. What did you do to yours?”

Your other self finally caves and sits beside you, kicking their legs as well and laid back down, eyes staring mindlessly at the ceiling of the headquarters. “…You pretty much nailed my role about being the secret medic. He has missions that get so frighteningly deadly… I always comb through the crowd when the news is done.” They turned to you with a laugh. “I tell myself that it’s cool because… hey, I am affiliated with the Avengers, it’s easier, right? But… it gets harder when it’s him. When it’s my Peter.”

“You care a lot about him, huh?”

“…You care a lot for yours too. I think any version of us who has met him owe our lives to him… or her.” Their smile was a tad bitter, but it was clear they were slowly starting to accept the bitter fact of their existence. “…Can’t we really just warn our other selves?”

“I would want to… except… y’know… it’s really up to us.” You smile a little as you reactivated your holo screens, watching as dozens of monitors that showed the living versions of you live their best, yet stressful lives. You glided your hand a little to the side and let the footages rewind. “Most of the time, it’s us who takes the leap of faith, y’know? The one who talks to them first.”

Your younger you watches in awe as they pointed to another you, you noticed quick and enhanced that one projection, “Oh this guy… they’re my favorite version of us. They take psychology classes and made it their mission to help out this Spider-Woman. Cindy Moon was her name, I think?” You slowly drag your finger to the right and the projection fast forwards.

“Oh. They got together?” Your other self asks in wonder and you only nod.

“Believe me it took them awhile to get there.” You laugh before switching to another monitor. “I think you’ve met the Peters that have another you. Fortunately, they’re also safe and alive in their universe.”

You and your other self watched as this particular you welcomed Peter Parker from Earth-120703 back into their home, fussing a little as they patched him up quick from what seems to be another rough patrol.

“They live together?”

“It’s a strong possibility.” You laughed. You turned to your younger self and smiled, “The point is… it’s not all death around us. We still live. We live because the versions of us that take the leap of faith are the versions that live to see them flourish as Spider-Man… we watch them fall in love with their MJ or Gwen Stacy or… heck, even be the love interest all along. Didn’t you do the same? Didn’t you take the leap of faith to talk to your Peter?”

Your younger self smiles, clearly enjoying the reminiscing, “Yep… I had to. He was getting screwed over by that jerk, Flash. I had to protect him. From then on, I made sure he was always guarded on school and… well… yeah, you know what happens next. And you?”

“Oh, Miguel was a longtime friend. It’s… a lot of sob story. But we’ve just been together since then, and before I knew it, we were working together… I was convinced to study the multiverse with him and eventually… I have every conceivable universe at the tips of my fingers. And I’m not proud when I found out the basis for our existence. I was so depressed for several weeks… that if I hadn’t talked to Miguel on that one particular night, I wouldn’t have been here.”

You sighed a little, eyes returning back to the projection of the other you still patching up Peter from Earth-120703. Guessing from your glare and his wincing, the other you kept scolding at him and he was very much aware of his screwup. “But I found comfort… that there was a good chunk of us that’s living their best life now… friends with a Spider-Man or a Spider-Woman — more intimately involved with some of them even.”

“They’re the version of us that made destiny for themselves. They’re not just a plot point, they made themselves very important to their own arachnid. Because that’s who we are.” You smiled down at your younger self, who only continued to look at the projection with a fond smile. “They’re loyal to us as much as we are loyal to them once we hit that point. You just gotta trust.”

Your other self looks up at you with a comforted smile, “…Thanks. For… talking to me even though I strangled you from out of nowhere.”

“Hey, it was a first for me. But it’s good to know that you felt the same as I did. The only thing left for you is to process it naturally until you just… accept it.”

“Still doesn’t feel right to let our other selves die,” They muttered with a frown.

“It’s not our choice to make. It’s theirs. If Spider-Man’s arc is to keep trying to save everyone, our arc is to learn how to take that leap and talk to them.” You smile softly, patting their head. “We’re only given the illusion that the cause of our deaths is Spider-Man… but in the end, it’s always us.”

Your younger self sighs, “Yeah… yeah. I got that.” The both of you were silent until they finally stood up and moved their arm and the same portal emerges. You look over to see Dr. Strange waiting at the end, and… the same ‘little nerd’ that Miguel kept grousing at.

“They’ve been waiting for you.”

“Sure have.” They headed for the portal only to stop, running back to you to give you a tight hug.

You could feel the air knock out of your lungs a little before you smiled and returned the gesture, squeezing them tight in your arms. “I’m here if you need to talk, alright? Just… portal in if you really need someone who can relate to your… little multiverse situation.”

“I will,” they whispered softly. “Thanks.”

You watched as they headed into the portal, catching a glimpse of Peter from Earth-199999 catch them into a tight hug as well while Dr. Strange ruffled their hair fondly. It eventually closed and you were left in your own silence.

You settled on working on organizing files, but ever so slightly, you’d be glancing at the other monitors around you, watching the projections of the other you’s. You smiled a little, watching as your other younger self and that little nerd talk up high on a random rooftop.

The silence breaks around you when suddenly, the office is filled with chatter as soon as every single spider entered. You could feel the tiny warmth in your chest. You were only glad that you have this much friends. And that after all this time, your Spider-Man was just with you.

“Oh! The other you is gone?” You jolted to find Peni smiling up at you. You only nodded.

“Yep. It was fun to talk to another me. It gets lonely here, y’know?” You laughed, patting her head gently. You turned around to see everyone looking at you with smiles on their faces, seemingly content with their accomplished missions. “Welcome home, everyone. Good to see you all safe and sound.”

“Yeah well… if we didn’t you’d pretty much nag at us,” Gwen snorts as she heads over to give you a little hug. “So… other you finally went home?”

“Mhm… they just need a little time to process things.” Your smile was minuscule but incredibly genuine.

Miles finally comes up with the golden question, “So… about earlier… you said, your existence is consistent… as long as there is a Spider-Man, right?” He asks, hand on his hip as he looked at you with immense curiosity. You only nod at him. “Does that mean I have my own [Name] too?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah… though I’m not entirely sure how they would be in your world. You’re a special circumstance since you had a Peter before… so… it’s possible that maybe they befriended him? Or maybe… they’re just as young as you and… is probably at that crucial point in their life.”

“Do you know where the address to my [Name] is then?” Miles pulls out a random paper and pen urging you to write. “I mean, if they’re as cool as you are, then I surely wouldn’t mind meeting them.”

You blinked. “…Wait what?”

“…Right. So I just need to find you in my universe, huh?” Hobie stretches his limbs. It seems like his mind is pretty made up by then. “Cool. Time for me to break your consistent streak, yeah?”

“What—”

“Give me an address to where you live in my universe too. I’ll make sure the both of us meet,” Gwen laughs from beside you.

“Ooh! Do you think your version in my universe also likes chai?”

Suddenly, you were overwhelmed with questions from almost every other spider person in the office. There was excitement in their voices, and while you were a little overwhelmed and a little spooked by their eagerness, you found yourself warming at the thought of them wanting to take the first step for you instead. Well… for the other versions of you.

Miguel cuts in quick, “Alright that’s enough. Let’s not hassle my [Name].” He scolds, but it was clear he was smug about having his own version of you. The spider kids knew and all scoffed on their own. “It’s not like they know everything about their other selves. And don’t ask them for the address, if you wanna meet your [Name] look for them yourselves instead.”

You smiled a little, grateful for your friend’s help. They looked at you and you only shrugged, glancing at your much, much bigger best friend.

They all groaned and decided that it was for the best if they found you themselves instead. They all opted out and swung into their own universes, with a bet to see who gets to see their own version of you first.

Peter B. laughs at the youth while he played with Mayday. He looked at you with a small smile and ruffled your hair, “My [Name] is alive and well in my universe by the way. They helped me while I was in a pretty rough patch. And now, they’re the proud godparent of my little Mayday.”

Jess sighed, “…You just can’t help it can you.” She smiled at you a little, “Mine is pretty much alright too. And, I didn’t copy this from Peter but they’re also this little one’s godparent.” She chuckles as she gently pats her plump belly.

“Liar. You totally stole that from me.”

“Did not! What the heck kind of a monster wouldn’t make their best friend a godparent of their kid anyway? And I was already gonna do that before you had Mayday. My [Name] and I talked about it. Bet yours was a last minute decision.”

Peter B. only freezes up, clearly caught red-handed, he brushes it off with an awkward cough, “A-As if! We totally planned it!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

A soft laugh emits from you as you watched the two of them argue their way out and probably into the cafeteria. You looked up at Miguel with a small smile, “I already knew their [Name] is alive in their dimension.”

“Of course you do. You’re a bit of a narcissist,” he bites back with a snarky laugh, making you pout. “So did you talk to that little nerd when your other self went back to their dimension? Did you let him have it?”

“You’re not gonna let go of that at all, are you?”

“Hey, that was singlehandedly the most stressful mission of my life.” He sighed begrudgingly, turning back to head to his dramatic platform with you following behind. “At least you were in the backseat, only tweaking the tech.”

You gasp in an overdramatic fashion, “How rude! I cannot believe you would underestimate my efforts. You’re a horrible business partner, Miguel.” You huffed out a quiet laugh. “And I deserve it, y’know? I had to put up with your awful one-liners. I think all versions of me had to. We all suffer the fate of hearing your nerdy jokes.”

He pushes at your forehead, scoffing, “Like you don’t make any.”

“Hey—!”

The entire office quiets down as the two of you finally go back to work, monitoring any anomalies that could pop out soon. It was always like this, there will always be a lingering tenderness between you and your dearest friend. You loved him above all, after all. Even with his annoyingly sarcastic personality, you still held him dear in your heart.

Your smile comes back up on your face. You could still remember that one rainy night. Way before the two of you officially committed to the name of being each other’s best friends. That one rainy night that you looked up in complete shock and awe as the masked hero of Nueva York was there, holding on tightly to your hand.

You could still hear his words;

“Are you insane?!”

And you could still here the way your trained ears immediately heard the man you’d befriended weeks ago. You looked up and there he was, the masked hero… unmasked, looking at you with anger and the kindest concern that he could muster.

Suddenly, that night you were aware that you were dangling a good hundred feet off the floor with only his hand keeping you from plummeting to death. And suddenly, you were pulled up and engulfed in his embrace.

“Thank you, Miguel… for saving me.” Your soft voice fills the silence all of a sudden and Miguel looks away from his work. You smiled up at him with love in your eyes. “You’re the best ever friend that I’ve landed in my whole existence.”

Miguel looks at you stunned, but before he can even speak, Lyla cuts in.

“Yeah, kinda hard for him to hold back when he had a massive crush on you back then.”

“Why are you like this.” Miguel doesn’t even mean it as a question at that point, but a demand and a bit of griping.

You only laughed loudly, “Did you now? How cute!” You snickered.

Lyla floats beside you, “I think he still does today. Some old feelings might’ve been ignited~” she coos, mocking and incredibly mischievous, only serving a hundred more years worth of emotional pain to poor Miguel.

“Lyla.”

“Oops, bye~”

Your smile never wavers even as Lyla disappears from sight. Though no doubt, still probably eavesdropping. You only inched nearer beside him, leaning on his side with a small smile while you looked at one monitor with another Spider-Man and another you, probably on their own mission to take down one of their sinister six.

“For what it’s worth, I think I like you too.”

Miguel briefly looks down at you before scoffing.

You miss the way his lips curl up into a fond smile.

[hungergameshyperfixation]

Let this post be a safe place to post any and all Hunger Games headcanons, whether canon compliant, canon divergent, AU headcanons, etc. I just wanna see everyone’s headcanons (and feel free to share an explanation for why you hc it if you want to!). They can be as bland or canon divergent as you want them to be, idc. Here are some of my miscellaneous ones that are a mixture of both cannon compliant, divergent, and ones for different AUs (guess which is which lmao 💀):

•After the war, the idea of ‘districts’ was all but abolished. It didn’t happen overnight, but essentially there weren’t any more borders between districts and people had the freedom to live and start a life wherever they want. The district names have been so ingrained that socially most people still use them for communications sake, but legally there are no more borders or ‘districts’

•District Three people are very straightforward and direct, and don’t often understand outside district social cues. They’re pretty technical with their language, and often take things literally.

•Every district has their own sayings and ‘cultures’ in a sense. And I like to think that there’s definitely a period of adjusting and a learning curve after the war, when people are able to live a freer life, and with that interact with people from other districts.

•Annie sings—it’s been a lifelong habit, but it helps soothe her (and Finnick, and then eventually their child), and it’s kind of like a reminder of home and tradition. District Four being fishing, I like to think that some of the lighthouse/siren/ocean/pirate vibes still carry on, even just a little bit.

•Chaff likes to play practical jokes and tease people at their expense—not in a harsh way, but he definitely gives off ‘older uncle who’ll switch your alcohol for juice/water’ type vibe to me. He views the other victors (save for a few) as his friends and allies, and he is usually warm around them.

•(Movie specific) Haymitch is still from the Seam, but one parent/relative was a townie (kind of like Katniss, although I personally like to think it was a grandparent that was from the town, rather than a direct parent). But other than his blonde hair, Haymitch is still clearly from the Seam. Unlike Prim and Katniss’s mother, Haymitch has Seam eyes, the worn-out and sunken eyes, etc.

•Mags (at least in the movie) is wearing a ring on her left hand, so I’m assuming she was married. I don’t know which I prefer, that her partner died or that they were alive and watched Mags die in the Quarter Quell :(

•The Capitol does not allow for ANY wild animals—the only non-human creatures are domestic pets. Especially after Snow. There’s no untamed birds flying around autonomously, or many lizards running amok. Even pest control is highly maintained. Don’t get me wrong, there’s tons of animals—circuses, shows, domestic pets, etc. Just nothing “untamed.” They’re not even treated badly per se, but it’s all for entertainment—it’s like a perfectly controlled bubble (I think this is perfectly fitting for Snow’s character specifically especially in TBOSBAS but also just the Luxury and curated image of the Capitol in general).

More to come bc I’m crazy about this world

[good-beanswrites]

Hello again, I'm here to request once more. Feel free to take all the time you need btw! I would always be patient for your wonderful works ^^

This time I'd like to request from the Drabble List#2 - 47 with the 020607 Trio (mainly Mahiru though). And yes, this is hugely inspired by that one minigram with Mahiru. And as usual, feel free to change the scenario and/or the characters.

Thank you again, good luck with your future studies and take all the time you need!!

Woo thank you so much!! :'D This one was a ton of fun (and once again led me to get smacked in the face with unlikely character parallels I wasn't aware of before). It's from Kazui's pov but it's still mainly about Mahiru. I ended up going canon-compliant, but I did consider sticking super close to the minigram and do a little normal-au where Mahiru drags them across Japan to make a perfectly homemade cake 😅

Everyone knew Mahiru had a tough time distinguishing genuine from joke, but Kazui hadn’t expected it to come back to bite him. Mahiru wasn’t stupid by any means; sometimes she just forgot that others weren’t as unabashedly honest as herself. When she said something, she meant it. Kazui… not so much.

Which is why, following a conversation about her skills in the kitchen, in response to being pressed about his own household, he thought it would be inconsequential to utter the following words to her.

“Bake me a cake, and we’ll talk.” 

Kazui had laughed his booming laugh, Mahiru had giggled in her sweet little way. Neither realized what had just transpired.

That is, until Yuno dragged Kazui across the prison the following day to make him aware of the monster he had released upon the kitchens. The two hurried over to find a massive operation underway: Mahiru had several layers in the works, she was stirring multiple fruit fillings, decoration choices scattered across the countertop, and anyone who dared venture too close was shooed away with a slap from her wooden spoon. 

It took a few minutes to get the situation all worked out.

“So… you didn’t really want a cake…?” She asked, pausing mid-stir. Her eyes were so big and round.

Yuno came to the rescue. “Of course he does!” She interrupted. “Everyone here would die for a taste of your baking~” 

Kazui nodded. “I just didn’t mean for you to work so hard for my sake. I’m really not worth all this effort…”

Mahiru’s jaw fell, offended on his behalf. “Yes you are!” Her attention was momentarily caught by a timer chiming. Kazui took the bowl from her so she could take a pan from the oven. He picked up where she left off stirring. 

“Either way, why don’t I help you out?” Yuno had grabbed some ingredients from the counter as well. “While we bake, I’ll tell you a little bit about myself. A little,” he repeated. 

And he did. Her questions were easier than he’d expected. While the others knew how to poke and prod about each other’s murders, Mahiru really did just want to know about his home life. While she buzzed around the kitchen switching pans and creating intricate icing patterns, she asked him about his childhood, his hobbies, his job. As soon as she saw his wife was a touchy subject, she let it drop (though with a bit of disappointment, to be sure). He scrambled a bit as Yuno the human lie detector would shoot him a look now and then. Overall, though, his measured answers managed to satisfy both women without giving much of himself away.

When they carried the spectacular cake into the common room to everyone’s amazement, Mahiru prodded him with her elbow.

“We should talk more! I mean, come on. How difficult was that?”

If only she knew the half of it.

———

“Hey, Mahiru.” Kazui traded weak smiles with Yuno as he joined her by the bed.

“Oh. Hi Kazui,” came her weak voice. She tried her best to smile under the tangle of bandages that surrounded her. Then, silence. 

Aside from a few coughs and small requests, that silence stretched on for hours. He and Yuno usually had a lot to talk about, but neither could muster anything up today.

He thought Mahiru had dozed off, but she surprised him by taking his hand. “Kazui?”

“Yes?”

“Do you really think I’m unforgivable?” 

He blinked. “I can’t really say.” 

The moment the words left his lips, he knew they were the wrong ones. Well, the glare that Yuno was trying to murder him with also helped. “Er, I forgive you, of course. But… I don’t know anything about you, Mahiru. Not really. I can’t say why others would think you’re unforgivable or not.” 

“...I see.”

Yuno looked like she wanted to add something, but couldn’t find the words. Traces of emotions flickered over her face before she could cover them up. Kazui guessed she wanted to defend Mahiru. But maybe she also agreed with him. And that was when the realization struck him.

“I guess, I always thought you were so much better than me and Yuno when it came to talking about yourself. You do it all the time, and very easily. But now that I think about it, I probably know just as much about your situation as you know about mine. For such an honest person, you hide everything just like we do. Or maybe, you hide from everything, like we do.”

More silence.

A teary smile appeared on her face. “You know… you could bake me a cake… and maybe we’ll talk.”

Kazui didn’t laugh, and she didn’t giggle. He nodded, solemnly. “I think that’s a good idea.”

[herofics]

Hii! I hope you're having a nice day. If it's okay, I'd like to request headcanons for Tomura, Dabi, and Hawks with a submissive s/o. But, like, not sexually or anything. Just a s/o who was raised to be submissive-- the s/o was told to not talk back to anyone, keep their voice small and soft, following what other people tell them to, and... yeah. Even though sometimes they want to voice their disaagrement about something, they don't do it because they think they're not supposed to do it. Mm, I'm sorry if it is too long. It's okay if you don't want to write this. Thank you so much 💖

I think in canon, Dabi and Shiggy would definitely prefer someone submissive like this, since they don’t really like people talking back to them and they like when they can control people. So the Dabi and Shiggy ones are pretty toxic, because I think that’s how they would be in my opinion. My usual stuff with them is somewhat canon compliant but I think this is closer to canon. This is probably not quite what you wanted, but this is what I came up with

~Hawks/Takami Keigo~

•Hawks doesn’t really notice it at first, he just pretty much thinks you’re on the same wavelength and you agree with him on everything

•But when he does notice eventually though and he starts paying more attention to how you behave to get to know more

•He’s pretty nosey, and likes to know everything possible

•He kind of tries to make you express your own opinions more, but he’s really subtle about it

•When that doesn’t really work, he just straight up tells you “You know I love you, but you don’t always have to agree with me on everything. You having your own opinions doesn’t change how I feel about you and I would love to know what you think”

•With Hawks you don’t need to keep your opinions to yourself or speak softly or anything like that, but old habits die hard and they’re not easy to change

•But Hawks encourages you to tell him what you think, he always wants to know your opinion

•He knows what it’s like when you don’t really have a right to choose on your own, because you know, the crap with the Hero Safety Commission

~Shigaraki Tomura~

•Shigaraki is pretty happy about it to be honest

•He loves that you do what he wants and that you don’t talk back

•He basically treats you more like a servant, rather than someone he sees as en equal

•Because why wouldn’t he, if you do it willingly, he’s got no problem with it

•He doesn’t want to change you or make you more opinionated or give you more confidence in yourself so you would be able to express yourself more freely

•He likes you just the way you are, but I’m not saying that as a good thing

•A good partner should see you as an equal, and Shigaraki definitely does not

•He would use you as a human shield if he needed to, because why wouldn’t he

~Dabi~

•Dabi makes use of your submissive nature

•He makes you run all the errands he doesn’t want to do himself, something simple like getting him a drink is pretty damn usual

•He basically treats you like his personal assistant, more than a partner

•Dabi also doesn’t really give a damn about what you say to him, and since you extremely rarely disagree with him anyway he doesn’t really think you can offer a perspective he would care about

•He can shut you up with just a glare, but he can do that with pretty much anyone who finds him the least bit intimidating

•Dabi takes as much advantage of the situation as he can

•He’s also very manipulative with people he knows he can easily influence, so he can tell you he loves you one day, just to keep you close and then berate you about the smallest mistakes the next moment

[akisangell]

Out Of Time

Contents- Mentioned smut, angst, character death, canon compliant (kinda) 

Fandom/Character- Chainsaw Man, Aki Hayakawa

WC- 1,327

Timing was never going to work out well in Aki’s favor. He knew that much once he started working for Public Safety. He was never going to live the long and fulfilling life that he had once dreamed of in his youth. He was going to die soon.

Aki would never allow himself to open up to anybody due to this, he didn’t want to form a connection just to be pulled away from it at the drop of a pin. There was still yearning in his chest anytime he saw happy couples walking down busy roads, giggling amongst themselves as they held hands, navigating their way through the city with one another.

He simply just chose to believe that he would live out the rest of his days in the same pattern that he had grown accustomed to. Wake up, sit on his balcony with a nice warm cup of coffee and a cigarette placed neatly between his fingers before going inside to wrangle Denji and Power to the best of his abilities.

He still remembers when you had just recently joined Public Safety, being left in his hands in order to show you how things were done. He had brought a complaint forward to Makima, questioning on why he always got stuck with the new members, but she quickly shut him down by simply saying that he was the only one who could do the job right.

He knew better than to argue with Makima, so there he was, walking down a busy street with you trailing behind him after finishing up for the day. He’d be lying if he tried to say that he wasn’t drawn to you as soon as his eyes fell upon you. Everything from the way your eyes met his, full of confidence, all the way down to your stance, not slouched or showing any sort of apprehension as he addressed you for the first time.

You were pestering him with questions the entire journey, ranging from basic questions to try and get to know the quiet man, all the way to how he started working for Public Safety. Aki gave nothing more than quick, small answers to your questions, much to your dismay.

He did feel bad at his lack of answers, turning around and noticing that your energy had died down, your incessant questions coming to an end as you fell into silence, not wanting to bother him anymore. Aki paused, turning to face you as you nearly smashed into him, too lost in your head to notice that he had stopped. “You alright” he asked you, his tone flat as always as he looked you up and down.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled, stepping back from him and looking down at your feet, embarrassed with the fact that you were letting something as trivial as this get you down.

Aki let out a sigh, causing you to raise your head and look at him. “C’mon. I know you wanna talk, we can go back to my apartment in order to do so. Denji and Power will be out for the night so they won’t bother us.”

You simply nodded your head, following behind him as he led you to his apartment.

That was nearly three months ago, now. As hard as he tried to keep himself as closed off as possible towards you, he would always falter. The way you would look at him wide eyed and attentive anytime he spoke, giving you few details of his life made him feel as if he could spill his whole life story to you.

He didn’t know how simple conversations taking place late into the night over coffee growing cold and cigarettes burning led to you  straddling his lap, your lips locked with his as small whimpers left your mouth.

Aki always swore that he wouldn’t open up to anybody, oh but how you molded perfectly against him while you were under him, body writhing as he slowly fucked into you, soft whispers of praise being muttered into your ear as he coaxed you towards another orgasm.

The usually stoic man was absolutely smitten with you, waking up to the smell of breakfast wafting into his room from the kitchen in the mornings after you’d spent the night. The way you were always able to get Denji and Power to calm down enough to act like regular people for once.

You were the light that was shining in the shadow of his short life. Going through the motions of domestic bliss with you before heading off to work, you helping him out with chores around his apartment. You rarely left his side, causing everybody that you both knew to shoot small glances, most surprised that he had actually let someone through his cold demeanor.

The day he told you that he wasn’t going to live much longer was a solemn day for you both. Aki fully expected you to take in the news and decide that you didn’t want to be with him anymore, not wanting to be with someone who couldn’t give you the life you deserved.

Oh was he surprised when you pulled him into his arms after you told him, whispering sweet words to him as he allowed himself to cry for the first time in years. He remembers you running your hands through his hair as you promised him that you would be with him till the end, the knowledge of his early death not changing how you felt about him.

He helped you as much as you helped him. Whenever you had a rough day at work, he was always there to massage away the pain and run you a hot bath, joining you and scrubbing off all of the dirt and blood, gentle traces of his fingers against your spine when he was done, trying to get you to relax further.

When he would carry you to bed after those baths, wrapping you up in his blankets before laying next to you, wordlessly pulling you into his arms, hugging you as close to his body as he possibly could. He never wanted to let you go.

Aki remembers the first time you told him that you loved him. The two of you were laying in bed after having another long talk on his balcony, your head on his chest as he ran his fingers through your hair, something he did often after you let it slip that you loved the feeling.

You had raised your head, the movement causing him to look down at you. He could see it in your eyes before you even told him, he felt his heart burst as soon as you murmured the words I love you. He pulled you in closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before telling you that he loved you too.

The time you had spent with Aki was short, but it was so sweet. You found yourself at his gravestone every year on the anniversary of his death, a pack of his favorite cigarettes and a bouquet of his favorite flowers in your hand.

You’d sit there for hours, talking to his grave, a lit cigarette in hand as you told him everything new that was going on in your life.

You never did take on another lover, despite Aki telling you to go find yourself a new happiness once he was gone. He wanted nothing more than you to move on, to find someone who could shower you with the love you deserved until your last day on Earth.

The time you spent with Aki was short, but you knew in your heart that nobody could compare to him. The two of you were simply out of time, but you would never regret your time with him, nor would you ever try and seek out someone new.

You were the love of Aki’s life, and he was the love of yours.

[author-chan06]

Vox & Me

Vox:

General Personal Info:

Name: Vox

Age: 120

Pronouns: He/Him

Gender: Trans Man

Orientation: Panromantic, Pansexual

From: Hazbin Hotel

Canon Compliant Personality? Mostly

Relationship With Me: Sex Partner/Owner-ish

Backstory Of Us:

(This is an S/I) I’m a sinner, though I’m not really sure why exactly I got sent to Hell. Not because I did nothing, but because I did a lot of the sins that the Bible talked about. I ate shellfish, wore mixed fabrics, lied, stole— and I blasphemed; I was an atheist after all, I found no issue saying god didn’t exist. Though none of those things really, to me, seem like something that would curse someone to eternal damnation, but I don’t make the rules, so to Hell I went. And honestly, it isn’t that bad. I’d always joked that I would end up in Hell if it existed, and I’d always called the devil my King because of that, so to wake up and find it true, while my religious beliefs caused a bit of a crisis, the idea of being in Hell itself actually was kind of… good. It felt, still does, natural.

It was a difficult place to live though, and it only continued to get harder as the months started to role by. I was able to survive my first Extermination— but just barely. And I was horrified when I got stabbed in the stomach. I fell to the ground and pretended to be dead, trying to blend into the massive piles of dead bodies that already littered the streets while also trying to make sure I didn’t actually fall asleep and really die because of the blood loss.

It felt like years as I laid there, hoping that none of the Exorcists would double back to make sure everyone really was dead and pressing my shaking hands against my stomach wound, but finally the Exorcists start to fly back up to the portal to Heaven and it shimmers and dissapears. I quickly scramble up, slipping on the blood and stumbling on the strewn limbs and bones covering the area, but I start making my way away, trying to find a place to recover.

I didn’t move fast enough though, I guess, because I didn’t get out of the street fast enough to miss the crowds of Cannibal Town running towards the bloody banquet. Now usually I loved the cannibals— they were some of the nicest people in Hell, probably because their damning sin of cannibalism wasn’t exactly a choice for them— but I didn’t want to be eaten, and so this was a living nightmare.

I tried to wave my hands in the air to show them I was alive, but they were already eating some of the people and dragging others away, and just when it seemed like they would just let me die and then drag me off too, a woman, who seemed to be watching over the cannibals, caught my eyes and her eyes went wide. She said something to someone near her, and before I could even blink, someone was in front of me, staring down at me with a wide smile.

When I woke up I met Rosie, formally, and Alastor introduced himself again. I was offered a deal, and though I knew it was a bad idea— just because I was a newer sinner didn’t mean I didn’t know how terrifying Alastor could be and how soul contracts worked— but with the almost permanent death still fresh in my mind, I hesitantly accepted, and there I sealed my fate. I got protection, but I lost my soul.

I was one of the souls that Alastor reached out to when the Hotel gained his support, and I immediately took a liking to the idea, even if I thought Heaven must be a boring place with how little I’d actually done to be damned I knew that with how awful Hell was some would do anything for the boringness Heaven must be.

The longer I spent at the hotel the more I wanted to learn about the different people that ended up there. Angel gained my attention quite quickly, and with my own hiding of myself it was easy for me to pick up on something being… off with Angel. I made sure to be extra understanding of him, letting his jokes and the like fall off me as I talked to him, trying to be subtle as I tried to find out what exactly was going on with him, though I doubt I really succeeded. It didn’t take long to figure out the biggest issues in his life all boiled down to his job and his employer. And it made me furious to hear how his boss was and it made me horrified to learn that he’d sold his soul too. I may have sold my soul to Alastor, but he didn’t ever abuse me like that. He’s not good sure, but as long as I did what he said, he wouldn’t just… hurt me. It didn’t seem like Angel’s owner was the same. No matter what Angel did Val took offense and he would punish him— even if Angel wasn’t the one that did the offending and angering. Val was essentially using Angel as a punching bag.

And I felt helpless about it. Which I hated. I had never liked that before, but for some reason that I couldn’t quite parse it felt worse this time around. Maybe it was because I knew that Angel didn’t deserve that treatment, because I knew Angel on a better level than I’d understood anyone else. Maybe it was because in life when I wanted to help I always tried something. And maybe that’s why I did it.

It wasn’t hard to find the Vee’s; their tower was large and it’s look and location was plastered on everything. As I made my way there, my mind was racing, I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea— No. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. And I knew that it would hurt to go through with. But I couldn’t just try nothing. And this was really all I had to offer. I couldn’t even give my soul, so… myself would just have to do. My emotions. My time. My body. It would have to be enough.

And it turns out that it was enough. The deal had conditions of course— ones that Val added as we talked it out. I would give Val myself— not my soul though, I made sure to tell him, my soul was already Alastor’s, but everything else about me— as long as he laid off Angel. He didn’t have to take Angel out of his contract or even stop getting him to work a lot, I only asked that he stop beating Angel up if he’s angry— that he would instead wait for me to make it over and beat up me. And I wanted for his answer for a couple of minutes, nervously fidgeting, and eyes flickering away from him. Val added the idea that I needed to come over at least every other day, and that I needed to be there a total of forty hours a week. Like a job. And that no matter what I said during my time there, he would be able to ignore it and do whatever without breaking our deal: violence, sexual stuff, or whatever, and I would continue coming if I wanted Angel to be better off. I agreed quickly and we shook on it. It might not have been a soul deal, but it was still binding.

I felt it settle in my bones, and his smile made my heartbeat too fast. He told me to run and leave now, or I wouldn’t be leaving for twenty four hours, that he would break me it.

I ran as fast as I could, ignoring his quiet laughter and the now watching eyes following me. I knew Val would be… a lot, but I hadn’t expected that Vox would be so interested too. He’d been the one who told Val of my arrival— as Val had told me— and that would have been normal, security and all that, but after my talk with Val it was like he was always watching. Anytime I left the Hotel I could feel eyes on me, cameras flashing and security zooming. The longer my deal continued the more unsure I became of Vox’s watching. I didn’t know what he wanted with me, but it was obvious there was something he was looking for.

If it had lasted for much longer, I would have probably broke and asked one of the camera myself. Just to finally get it over with. But about a month after my deal Vox finally approached me. He looked confident and like he knew that no matter what he would be getting what he wanted. Whatever it was that he wanted.

It turns out that he was much more like Val than I’d though, as he told me that since I had a deal with Val then I basically had a deal with the Vees, which counted him as well. He told me that I could ask Val if I really wanted, when I asked what Val would say, but that the Vees always shared the souls they had deals with in between them. He asked me if I still wanted to ask, and I hesitantly said no, and asked what he wanted me to do. He grinned, and grabbed my arm. And that’s when I started working for him as well. It was a lot less sexual than Val, though it sometimes still was, but it was still work.

I helped out with VoxTech, helped him with upgrades (after he started to trust me a bit more), helped promote products, and we did do sexual things when he was feeling more… pent up. Usually when Val and him were broken up. He told me after a while that he had been interested at my boldness of going up to Val as I had, and— this was surprising— he liked the idea of using me when I was one of Alastor’s.

That was when he started being more… romantic about it? We weren’t dating exactly and we still aren’t, but he acts like it sometimes.

With Val and Vox, we’re all a bit complicated, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, but despite the still there force, ownership, and violence, I would say Vox is a nicer part of my deal.

Relationship Info:

Anniversary: May 13th

Ship Name: #staticsinner

[st-hc-s]

As much as I love reading fix it steddie fics (and I cannot stress this enough, I LOVE reading them) I am a pretty rigid thinker so I find myself being overly critical of the ways some people choose to rewrite the ending of season 4. It’s all baseless nitpicky stuff but I’m usually saying things along the lines of “the duffers wouldn’t write it like that” or “that’s pretty unrealistic.” So instead of being the Scrooge of steddie fics and grumbling without offering solutions, here is my fix it that I think would be canon compliant and still play along with the bullshit that the duffers are capable of pulling.

- -

It’s 1988. Hawkins, Indiana is experiencing extreme heavy rainfall and flash flooding, and has been for the last 2 weeks. To many outsiders, the town of Hawkins would be deemed a disaster zone, a now uninhabitable town of despair and ruin. To the few residents that remain, it’s all standard fodder. The thunder and the heavy rainfall is now background noise to some. There are a select few, however, who fear what the thunder could bring and are not totally fond of what follows. Those few are The Party, or rather what’s left of it. To them the thunder brings back memories of rancid, ashy air and the smell of decay. It brings back memories of death and dying, loss and heartbreak. To Dustin Henderson, the thunder brings back memories of the older brother figure he never got to spend enough time with. It reminds him of Eddie Munson.

Dustin sits on his bed, rocking back and forth to stop the anxiety from overtaking his body. It’s bad tonight. It’s always bad on nights like this. He knows what to do when it gets like this he just wishes he never has to.

Dustin tiptoes to the kitchen, praying he doesn’t wake up his cat, Tews or worse, his mother. If she sees him in this kind of state, with tear tracks littered down his cheeks, she will not let up until he confesses what’s ailing him. She’s a good mother, Claudia Henderson. She always has been. Dustin thinks of how lucky he is to have her. Any other night he’d give in and let her comfort him but on the bad nights, like tonight, even if he wanted to share his history of the Upside Down with her, he couldn’t. It’s a horrifyingly evil secret that he’s sworn to protect her from.

He grabs the phone off the wall and tiptoes backwards into his room, thanking his lucky stars that his mother bought the phone with the extra long cord. Once Dustin’s certain that she’s too absorbed in her cheesy romance novel to look up and see him, he closes his bedroom door as quietly as he can. Without hesitating he begins dialling the number he knows so well and calls the Harrington house. Steve answers within 2 rings.

The concern in Steve’s “Hello?” is enough to bring Dustin back to the brink of tears, tears that he thought he had long finished shedding.

“Steve,” followed by a sniffle.

“Dustin? Are you okay?” Steve already knows the answer, on a night like tonight, why else would Dustin call?

“Steve… I miss him.”

Steve sighs. “I know Dustin, I know you do. I do too.”

“He’s got to be out there somewhere right? He can’t be dead?”

“Dustin you can’t do this to yours-“

“Because if he is, then we killed him. We left him to die.”

The tears are coming hard and fast now, searingly hot as they fall down Dustin’s cheeks.

“No, hey, listen - we brought him back Dustin, we didn’t leave him anywhere. We brought him back through so he wouldn’t stay in - in - that place. He was gone… Dustin, there was nothing we could do.”

They both think back to that fateful night. Both sets of memories shrouded in misery and grief. That night Dustin watched as the light died in his best friends eyes, and felt as blood that wasn’t his soak through his clothes. Steve watched as the younger brother he always wanted, cradle a deceased Eddie in his arms, wailing as he refused to let him go.

“NO! NO! NOOOO! I’M NOT LEAVING HIM! I’M NOT LEAVING HIM TO DIE!”

Robin, fear and despair thickening her voice says, “Dustin please, we have to go! Vecna isn’t dead, we don’t know where he is!”

“NO WE CAN’T LEAVE HIM HERE! HE’S NOT DEAD - HE’S NOT -“

Now nancy tries to reason, ever the calm one, “Dustin, I know -“

“NO YOU DON’T! I’M NOT LEAVING HIM HERE! JUST GO - YOU GUYS GO AND I’LL STAY!”

Steve has stayed back this whole time. It always takes him longer to take it all in but in moments like this, where the heaviness can’t be denied, he’s even slower. As Nancy and Robin both plead with Dustin, their voices heavy with desperation, he pushes through them. He kneels opposite Dustin, on Eddie’s other side, getting a close up look, for the first time, at the severity of the wounds. Steve chokes back a gag as he meets Dustin’s eyes.

“We’ll bury him. We’ll say a proper goodbye, okay? We’re not gonna leave him here, we wouldn’t do that.”

Nancy starts, “Steve we don’t have time - “

“We’ll bury him.” Firm and strong.

Dustin softens, “Really?”

“Will you let me carry him through? If you grab his stuff and mine - will you let me carry him through?”

“We’ll give him a proper burial?”

Steve nods.

Dustin lets out a meek “Okay” as he leans back.

They spend the next 20 minutes finding a way through the gate at the Munson trailer. Eventually they find a step ladder just tall enough for Steve to push both Eddie’s body and Dustin through as he can’t move much, his ankle seeming pretty far gone.

Once back in Hawkins, they each, Nancy, Robin & Dustin, grab something to dig with and make their way alongside Steve, still carrying Eddie’s body, to the forest tree line near the park. They dig as much as their tired bodies allow before placing his body in the trench. They tie Eddie’s bandana to his spear where Robin sticks it firmly in the ground at the head of Eddie’s makeshift grave.

They all say a few words, as clearly as they can through their sobs. The words they share that night stay between them, too personal and harrowing to share beyond that space.

“He can’t really be dead Steve. He can’t.”

“Dustin-“

“No listen! El came back, Hop came back, even El’s creepy dad came back and we all thought they were dead. Would it be so crazy after the shit we’ve seen?”

“I know Dustin, I know - I hear you, but what about Barb… what about Bob and - and - Billy? They’re not coming back. They’re dead, Dustin. I know you want him back but it’s been 2 years. You can’t do this to yourself. He’s gone. Eddie’s gone.”

The silence they share is painful.

“Yeah. You’re right. I was stupid to think it anyway.”

“Dustin, hey, come on now - “

“I’m okay, I just… needed to be talked down. Thank you for listening Steve.”

“Dustin!” But the line is already dead.

Dustin spends that night crying himself to sleep, with all the lights and lamps on, as he does every night, just in case Eddie tries to make contact.

Steve never tells anyone this (except Robin, he tells her everything) but it kills him whenever Dustin calls to talk through his theories on how Eddie could still be alive. The hope it gives Dustin never acts as a comfort to Steve, but rather a catalyst for an intense bout of panic and guilt. He especially never shares these feelings with Lucas and Dustin, and even Mike who was surprisingly close to Eddie. He’s scared to tell anyone this but Eddie’s death hit him hard. Harder than he would have thought possible for the short amount of time he knew him, like really knew him.

The grief haunts him, constantly. The few moments of reprieve he has from thoughts of Eddie feel like heaven. Then when he remembers it all, his world crashes down around him, like he’s seeing Eddie, dead, in Dustin’s arms for the first time again. The pain has never subsided or gotten easier.

He feels that nauseating guilt make its way through his veins now as his hands start to shake. Luckily his parents have long since fled Hawkins and he has the house to himself as he lets out a wracking sob. At least he can grieve in private. Steve falls to his knees and he knows he won’t make it upstairs to his room this time. The panic attack overwhelms him and he falls flat to the floor. Eventually he falls asleep here after hours of tears and pain and apologies to the beautiful, dead boy he’ll never see again. The next morning he wakes to puffy eyes and that familiar hopeless feeling, as he has done almost everyday for the past 2 years.

MEANWHILE

The rain lets off steam on the road’s surface as it lands. These aren’t normal raindrops, ones you would typically find during the rainy seasons of Indiana. No, these are violent, landing with an audible thud. They seem to carry so much more that just water from the sky, they carry things like pollution and ash. Since the Upside Down has taken over Hawkins, any type of abnormal weather (outside of the now standard drab, dreary grey skies) is intense and ruinous. Rainfall turns to floods and cyclones. Lightning turns to electrical storms that lead to forest fires. Wind causes dust walls taller than the old mall that swarm and decimate what’s left of the town. The few brave residents that have stayed spend most of their time indoors due to the unpredictable and furious weather. Tonight is no exception.

The thunder is particularly loud tonight, it’s cracking is so violent and sudden that the ground vibrates with each boom. The grass of the Forest Hills Trailer Park is absolutely flooded now. You couldn’t walk more than 2 steps before having to turn back and change your shoes due to the amount of mud. As thunder cracks and a bright shot of lightning hits a tree on the forests’ edge, the ground begins to shake. There is a small clearing past the tree line, about 8 feet or so in, where a mound appears to move. You’d never notice it if you weren’t looking for it, but the spot is wriggling, as if something is pushing up from underneath it.

The mound gets taller as the movement gets faster, more desperate, like an animal trying to dig its way out. Suddenly something breaks through the surface, the dirt it is caked in immediately cleaned off by the heavy rainfall. It’s a hand. Followed by an arm, a shoulder, a head. A head covered in matted, unruly dark hair, lots of it too. The figure pants as it pulls the rest of its body out of the hole it came from. The filth covering it washing off quickly. The figure takes a moment to breathe once its face is clear. It looks up to the sky and… laughs. It laughs. Not manically, not hysterically. It’s a joyous laugh, as if what it is viewing is amongst the greatest things it’s ever seen.

“It’s good to be back,” Eddie Munson says to himself, deep and gravelly, determined yet elated.

Eddie steps away from the shallow grave from which he came and makes his way through the heavy downpour to find his friends. This is gonna be good, he thinks.

[sukirainbow]

[+18 Fic] Wrong Recipient

Fandom: NARUTO Rating: Explicit - 18+ Content Pairing: Nagato x Kisame Characters: Nagato, Kisame Content: Canon compliant but they have cellphone for plot convenience, sexting the wrong person, masturbation, lingerie (stolen from girlfriend), background established Nagato/Konan relationship Word count: 1,143 - ongoing Summary: Kisame and Konan are right by each others in Nagato's cellphone contact - usually this did not cause any trouble, but mistakes happen when you're horny and tired.

My fic for day 2 of @narutorarepairweek for the Meet Cute Wheel (texted the wrong person). This isn't actually meet cute but this is what inspired me so this is what you get.

Full fic under the cut or you can click the link on top to read it on AO3.

Tired from his work day, Nagato let himself fall on the bed after closing the room’s door behind him. 

Immediately, he noticed the absence of his blue haired partner. “Oh, right. She’s out for the night” he thought, remembering she was to go meet with another team and be back in the morning.

Feeling a little disgruntled, despite it being the result of his own decision, he crossed his arms and laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling with a frown. He had imagined finishing his day on a softer, tender note. Not on another alone night staying up reading because the nightmares wouldn’t let him have his sleep. Konan would always manage to ease his mind, being by her side was enough to appease him.

Also, he wanted to bone. Feeling horny and frustrated, he considered just getting it out solo. He removed his coat, threw the rest of his clothes on a chair nearby and got himself in the mood by thinking about his girlfriend. 

As he reached to get a little bit of lube to help himself start from Konan’s side, he noticed she had left a bag from a lingerie store next to the bed. 

Intrigued, he reached for it, naturally. She wasn’t here to scold him and he would not have been able to manage not looking into it. 

It was a very tasteful set, black lace, her favorite kind. His favorite kind too. He didn’t know when she bought it but he had a feeling she probably bought it and left it here to tease him, knowing she’d be away. She was kind and loving but not above bullying him here and now. He gently got the garment out and spread it on the bed, imagining her body in it.

“She’s so mean…” He felt even more riled up now. Jerking off would only make it worse, he wanted her. 

While caressing the delicate texture of the set, an idea popped in his head. “It’s not fair if I’m the only one frustrated tonight” he thought, picking up the bottom part of the set and putting it on. He followed with the top - an easy fit despite the chest difference between him and Konan, as it was a cutout bra- and got up from the bed carefully.

Slowly he approached the corner of their room where the mirror stood on his weak legs, phone in hand unlocked on the camera app. He took the most suggestive pose his legs allowed him to take and sent it to Konan immediately before going back in the bed to resume his solo plans.

Touching himself under the lace while stroking his cock, the vibration of an incoming message took him out of his fantasy and he quickly wiped his hands off the lube to see her answer, impatient to see her as frustrated as he was.

But instead, he realized with horror that he sent the image to the wrong person. Konan wasn’t the only person sorted in the “K” in his contacts, and somehow, he selected Kisame instead of her.

Trembling, his sexual drive suddenly back to zero, he read Kisame’s answer to his nude: 

“Good evening leader, I believe you might have hit send on the wrong person.”

What was he even supposed to do now? What could he answer? He wanted to die honestly, feeling his cheek red of embarrassment. 

Thankfully, Kisame was a decent and polite man, never would he spread such an image among his other colleagues, and he would never speak of it if Nagato asked him to. But still. He saw it.

Grinding his teeth, Nagato attempted to type an answer, anything. He could not just say nothing and pretend it didn’t happen. He settled with: “I’m sorry. This was indeed not meant for you… My bad… Do not talk about this to anyone else, please.”

Nagato wished for nothing but death right now. He didn’t even consider sending the picture to the right person now. 

The phone vibrated once more: “No worries leader, I’ll keep that to myself.”

He sighed. At least he didn’t send it to Hidan, he wouldn’t have had peace and would have had to live with the consequence and embarrassment for years.

Another vibration put him on edge again. 

“Nice outfit by the way, it looks great on you.”

Nagato was frozen in front of his screen, re-reading again and again, feeling his cheek flush again and his heart accelerate for some reason. He surely didn’t expect that, and not the message that followed before he could answer anything else: “Do you want me to send one as well so we’re even?”

Surprised, he just stared at the screen for a while. The respectable, leader position that he had commanded that he answered “No.” But his still erect dick made him think about things he wouldn’t have let his mind wander to in other situations. 

“Sure” he typed, waiting to see where this would lead. If it was a joke he could just brush it off and the uncomfortable experience would be over.

The phone vibrates again and Nagato’s rinnegans adjust to focus on the image he just received. His eyes traced along the sharkman’s large hairy chest, following the trail of hair down to his even hairier, exposed open legs. “Holy shit, two of them…” he whispered to himself, gazing at Kisame’s double, shark-like penis. 

Arousal shot up in his lower parts as he bit his lower lip out of desire. Deep down he had hoped for something like this but thought it was unlikely to happen, but he was glad he was wrong. 

After thinking for a while about something - anything - to answer, he settled with an attempt at sounding flirty: “Kisame this is wildly inappropriate - you should come see me to my office to make up for this offense.” To be sure to drive the point home, he added a few flirtatious emotes - something his serious unhorny self would not have let him do, but desperate time calls for desperate measures.

He slid one of hand back on his dick, staring at Kisame’s picture while continuing to touch himself. It was the first time since Yahiko wasn’t around that he had another man in his close proximity being sexually interested in him. He was extremely railed up now and desperate that there were probably a large distance between him and any chance of him getting fucked by the object of his desire right now.

And there was no way his legs would take him where his boner wanted him to be at this hour of the night.

“Of course, leader. Tomorrow 9 pm?” 

He exhaled and smiled with anticipation, maybe it was worth it being frustrated tonight if it meant tomorrow he’d a little treat. Or two big treat, in that case.

[derpinathebrave]

ICE -In Case of Emergency ~ IceMav

READ ON AO3

So I got the brainworms again. This time from @pilotsandgays and now I've started a chaptered fic of Ice and Mav being exes (slightly nasty exes) but Ice is still listed as Mav's emergency contact.

I'm posting the first chapter here but the rest will be only on AO3 unless ya'll really want it on both

SUMMARY: "I'm your emergency contact. You know, you're supposed to take that out when you leave someone." Commander Tom "Iceman" Kazansky has spent five years trying to forget Pete Mitchell ever existed let alone walked out on him. Everything is brought to a boil when he is called after Pete is in a serious accident and Tom is the emergency contact. Now Ice has to face up to some tough questions; why did Maverick walk out on him without a goodbye? And why is he helping the man that destroyed his heart?

TAGS: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Sarah Kazansky, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Exes to Lovers, Hospitals and Medical, Whump, not much beta we die like goose, Canon Compliant, mostly canon compliant anyway, Period-Typical Homophobia, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Mention of Aids crisis, characters being added later

WORDS: 3059

Chapter 1: A Ringing Phone

The phone was ringing. Commander Tom “Iceman” Kazansky could hear it through the front door as he struggled to juggle his paperwork and get the key working in the lock. 

It was still a little strange to have his own phoneline after living so many years from carrier to carrier and sharing with literally everyone else. Every time it rang he jumped at the noise and then rushed to pick it up. Usually it was Slider, his mum or Sarah. They were the only people that really knew he was in a permanent residence again, and the only people he really cared enough to give his number to. 

The sticky lock finally gave and Iceman shouldered his way through the door. He would need to fix that soon, the way the door jammed in its frame and the lock took a specific wiggle to get the key to turn. 

He tossed the paperwork down onto his coffee table as he strode to the kitchen. The phone fell silent as he reached out to grab it from the wall. He pulled it to his ear anyway, haring the dial-tone. Rolling his eyes, Tom set the phone back in the cradle. 

The house was small, single story and sparsely furnished. He walked back to the front door and pulled his boots off, setting them in place on the shoe rack. The door opened into the living room, a couch long enough to fit him on it lying down, a coffee table and a TV on a chest of drawers. He had bought two low bookshelves to line the wall beneath the window that looked out to his neighbours fence, but they were currently rather empty. His Top Gun trophy was propped up on top of the one to the right. Sarah kept threatening to come and decorate for him, but her work hadn’t allowed for that yet. 

Ice moved through the living room and down the short hall to his bedroom. This was marginally more comfortable. He had a queen bed with a crocheted blanket his mother had pressed upon him when he had let her come and see his new place. It was a mixture of blues and greys and made him think of the ocean. Beyond the bed, he had matching nightstands with lamps, a laundry hamper and a winged arm-chair (another addition from his mother). He mostly just tossed clothes onto the armchair until it annoyed him enough to put them away in the cupboard.

As he was unbuttoning his shirt, the phone began to ring once more. He went to answer it.

“Hello?” He said, resisting the automatic urge to add “Commander Kazansky” as he had to at the office. 

“Hello, is that Tomas Kazansky?” A feminine voice said. 

“Speaking.” Ice frowned. He didn’t know this voice. A simmer of anxiety settled in his chest. 

“Mr Kazansky, my name is Maria, I’m a nurse at Holy Spirit Hospital. You were listed as the emergency contact for Peter Mitchell?” Maria said. 

Tom’s anxiety shot straight to a boil. His hand gripped the phone tight, his heart pounding loud enough to drown out the crackle on the phoneline. He realised she was waiting for an answer.

“Yes. Uh,” he blinked and shook his head a little. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Kazansky, he’s been in a serious accident and is currently in emergency,” Maria carried on in a solemn voice.

“What type of accident?” Ice forced out. 

“He had a pretty serious collision on a motorcycle.” Maria said. “He’s stable for now, conscious but in pain, and he’ll be going in for surgery this evening. If you wanted to come down and see him, you’re welcome to. He’ll need a change of clothes and some toiletries.”

Ice turned and pressed his forehead against the kitchen wall beside the phone. He took a long, slow breath in, held it a moment and then let it slide back out just as slowly. 

“Thank you,” he said, hating himself, “I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“OK. Just let our Emergency receptionist know you’re here to see Peter and they’ll let you through. I will let you know he can only have one visitor at a time, so if you plan to bring other people, they won’t be able to come in with you,” Maria said.

“Thank you,” he said again. 

“No problem. Thank you.” The phone disconnected. 

Iceman placed the phone back with extra care. As much as he wanted to smash it to pieces, that wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He did allow himself thirty more seconds of pressing his face against the wall in despair.

Heaving a sigh, Ice straightened once more and headed back to his bedroom. He filled a backpack with sweatpants, a soft t-shirt, boxers and socks. He moved to the bathroom, taking a disposable razor and spare toothbrush from beneath the sink. 

As he straightened, Ice caught his own face in the mirror. His blue eyes were slightly wild.  He could not go into that hospital room and let Maverick see him like that. He paused, staring himself down until the startled expression had settled back into his trademark detachment. He toyed with the idea of a shower but decided it would only amp him up more if he had to wait longer. May as well just get this whole thing over with. He buttoned his uniform back up, tucking it in once more. 

Ice let himself have one more second of hesitation before he grabbed the backpack, pulled his boots on and relocked his janky front door. 

 ===

His jaw ached, knuckles white on the steering wheel and shoulders tense. Ice negotiated traffic with extra care. He was desperately trying to stay calm. His ice-cold facade was slipping and melting every time he remembered where he was going and why. 

The sun was closing in on the horizon by the time he pulled into the hospital parking lot. Tom followed the signs for Emergency, completely unable to calm the thundering of his heart or the urge to bite at the inside of his cheek. He took up a soft mantra that everything would be fine, he would be A-OK and this would be fine. 

The lady at reception gave him directions down to the bay that Maverick was in. Hefting the backpack, and giving one last attempt at masking his anxiety, Ice headed for the bed. 

When he peeked through the curtain the bay was empty. No bed at all. After a moment he noticed the motorcycle helmet and boots thrust out of the way under a bench and he knew he was where Maverick had been at the very least. He slipped into the bay, leaving the curtain open. 

Ice took a deep breath. He gripped both fists together and then shook them out. It made him feel a little better. He did it again. 

With his body slightly calmed, he bent to look at the helmet. It was a mess. Deep gouges ran across the left side, the visor had been torn away completely. Ice swallowed. 

“Excuse me, sir?” a man said from behind him. 

Ice straightened quickly and spun. A tall, orderly in orange scrubs stood at the gap in the curtain. 

“Can I help you?” The orderly said. His eyes scanned Ice, taking in the shiny wings on his uniform. 

“Uh, yeah, the man that was in this bay, Pete Mitchell, where is he?” Ice said

“Are you the next of kin?” The orderly said, eyes narrowing a little. 

Ice hesitated for a split second. “Yes,” he said. 

“He’s been taken up to surgery. They’re prepping him now,” the orderly gave him a sympathetic smile. “You’re in the wrong place. If you want to grab those things I’ll give you directions to surgery.”

Ice nodded in reply, pulling the corners of his lips up but not really smiling. 

He grabbed the helmet and boots, following the orderly back to the crossroads of the hallways. After extensive and confusing instructions, Ice ventured back to the elevators and headed up to the surgery wards. 

Stuffed into the back corner of the elevator, a small kid with a very broken arm in a bed taking up the majority of the room, Iceman chewed on his cheek once more. Of course it hadn’t been as easy as bringing Maverick clothes and organising him a ride home. Of course the idiot needed surgery.

He squeezed out of the elevator on the floor he needed and followed the signs through the labyrinthine corridors. Finally he came upon another nurse’s station. 

“I’m here to see Peter Mitchell,” Iceman said, resettling the boots in his grip. 

“Let me see,” the nurse focused on her computer for a moment, tapping keys slowly. “Sure, he’s just gone in with Doctor Yanch. The surgery is set to be a minimum of two hours. You’re welcome to wait in our relations room, or head down to the cafeteria and come back closer to his end time.”

“Thank you,” Ice said, despite wanting to slam his head into her counter. “I’ll head to the cafeteria.”

The nurse gave him a nod and turned back to her work. Ice made his way back to the elevators slowly.

As he was sitting in the cafeteria, ignoring the stares of civilians because he was still in his khakis, Ice questioned his sanity. Only Pete Mitchell brought this side of him out. The side that questioned what the hell he was doing. 

He ate a truly awful sandwich and drank worse coffee. The helmet was set on the table in front of him and Tom found his eyes straying to it every few seconds. The paint had once resembled Maverick’s flight helmet, the white and red lines leading over the back and “Maverick” stamped across there rather than the front. The eagle on the side was almost completely destroyed, gouged and scratched into an amorphous red and white blob. 

If he had not seen the state of the helmet, he probably would have already gone. It was only the deeply unsettling scars on the helmet that kept him in the cafeteria, drinking awful coffee and waiting two hours. 

When the time was up, he stood, stretched and headed back to surgery. His heart took up a new tattoo of anxiety in his chest as he drew closer to the ward. The nurse directed him down to recovery and warned him that Pete was recovering and the anaesthetic was going to linger for a while. 

Pete “Maverick” Mitchell was pale, lips a little purple on the edges. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be asleep. He was shirtless but mostly covered with a paper gown. His left arm was in a sling, securing his wrist up by his right collarbone. As Ice followed the arm to the shoulder there was large bandages covering from his bicep to the rise of his neck. Mav’s lower body was covered with a hospital blanket. He was still hooked into a drip of fluids and a second of blood. 

Tom’s chest squeezed, all air escaping at the sigh of Maverick. It was much worse than he had expected. A weird mixture of relief and irritation washed through him. He set the backpack down in the corner, out of the way, and turned back to find a doctor pushing into the room. 

“Hello, I’m Doctor Yanch, you are?” The doctor said, eyes flickering over Ice’s uniform. 

“I’m Tom Kazansky, his—“ Ice almost said wingman, aborting at the last second and amending it to “— next-of-kin.” 

“Ah,” Doctor Yanch nodded. “I was just coming to do my post-surgery assessment. I was Peter’s surgeon.”

A nurse in teal scrubs bustled in, ignoring them both and heading straight for Pete.

Ice glanced at Pete but he hadn’t moved and his eyes were still closed. “OK.” He said to the doctor, “can you explain his injuries to me? I haven’t had a chance to hear the damage.”

“Oh,” surprise flickered across the surgeons face before he spoke once more. “Pete sustained a proximal humeral fracture dislocation. Meaning that his upper arm fractured and dislocated at the same time. I’ve set the bone with screws and relocated the joint through surgery. He was also brought in with rib fractures and a haemothorax, blood in his chest cavity that had collapsed his left lung.”

Tom realised he wasn’t breathing and inhaled through his nose, waiting for the doctor to continue. 

“His lung has reinflated and we’re confident the internal bleed has stopped. He will be receiving blood for another few hours and fluids.” The Doctor gave a tight smile to show he was finished. 

“Thank you,” Ice said, voice a little hoarse. 

“Not a problem.” The doctor turned away and began scribbling in Pete’s chart, mumbling to the nurse. When he was done, he hung the chart back at the end of the bed and walked out. 

Ice watched as the nurse leaned over and took Maverick’s right hand from under the blanket. She began squeezing it and calling his name. His heart began a horrid tap dance on his nerves once more.

“Peter?” The nurse called again, a little louder. 

“Try Mav,” Ice said, stepping a little closer and immediately regretting it. 

The nurse looked at him in surprise. 

“His nickname, its Mav or Maverick, try that,” Ice explained at her expression. “He hates Peter.”

“Mav?” She called, “it’s time to wake up now.”

Slowly, Mav’s eyes flickered and opened. He frowned at the nurse and began to move. She pinned him down with a firm hand, clearly practised at this. 

“No, no, no moving, Mav,” she said to him. “You’ve been in surgery. We fixed that shoulder up for you. Are you in pain?”

“No,” Mav mumbled. “Yes.” 

The sound of his voice sent fresh spikes through Ice but he remained still and silent in the background. 

“My chest hurts,” Mav said, his voice slurred. 

“Yes, you’ve got some fractured ribs. Can you squeeze my hand?” She placed her fingers in his left hand and nodded when Mav obeyed. “Good. Alright, I’m going to let you wake up a little more and then I’ll be back to run some more tests. You can chat to your friend but don’t move too much, OK?” She said.

“Mm-hmm.” Mav gave a tight nod already closing his eyes again. 

The nurse shot Ice a tight smile and bustled back out into the hall. He merely watched her go before turning back to where Maverick was laying. The other man had his eyes closed again but there was tension through his forehead, showing Ice that he was still awake. 

Ice gripped his fists, ignored the nausea that was rising and falling in his abdomen, and sat on the uncomfortable armchair by the window. When he glanced at Maverick his eyes were open and staring at the ceiling. They shifted, catching Ice’s and holding for a protracted moment. Pete blinked, shook his head a little and closed his eyes once more. 

He didn’t open his eyes again for another fifteen minutes. Ice was watching, cataloguing the way Maverick’s tension would sink out of his body as he slipped into sleep and then rise again as he woke once more. 

The second time Maverick opened his eyes, he whipped his head over to stare at Tom with wide eyes. He blinked. 

Tom gave him the most mild expression he could muster.

“Fuck, you’re actually here,” Maverick said, voice less slurred now. 

“I’m your emergency contact,” Ice said blandly, determined to not let Maverick see the agitation going on in his body. “You know, you take that out of your wallet when you leave someone.”

There was a beat of tension and Maverick turned away to stare at the ceiling. 

“Flattered you came,” Maverick said, wincing a little. 

“Mm-hmm,” Ice drawled at him. 

Internally Tom was beginning to suspect he needed to visit the cardio ward and have his heart checked. It had been hammering a harsh rhythm in his chest for the last twenty minutes and showed no signs of stopping now. 

“Why did you come?” Mav asked, voice strained. 

“I knew no one else would,” Iceman shrugged. He almost regretted the words as pain flared and died on Maverick’s face. “Should I call the nurse? You look rough.”

“I was hit by a car, Kazansky, of course I look rough.” Pete was clearly trying to sound snappish but there was too much pain in his voice for it to carry. 

Ice sighed and stood. He moved to the side of Mav’s bed and found the call button. 

“Don’t you touch—“ Maverick didn’t make it to the end of the sentence before Ice pushed the button for him. “Go away, why are you here?” Maverick groaned, face growing steadily paler. 

Ice didn’t bother to reply but simply returned to the uncomfortable armchair. He willed his heart back to a regular pace and when it refused to comply, he settled for fishing his gum out of his pocket and beginning to chew on a fresh piece. 

The same nurse returned, took one look at Maverick’s face and launched into action. She set up his pain medication, teaching him about the button to let it release. She then began conducting the promised tests from earlier. Ice sat in the chair and watched, eyes roaming Maverick as he did. When the nurse pulled the gown down to attach patches to Mav’s chest, Ice couldn’t drag his eyes away. He knew he should, but the horrific red and maroon patches that spread from beneath Mav’s arm to the middle of his chest held him transfixed. 

The doctor had said words like “collapsed lung”, “fractured ribs” and “bleeding into the chest cavity” but hearing about it and seeing it were vastly different things. Ice found his breath was caught in his chest once more. He tried to breathe, working hard to stay perfectly still. 

As much as he wanted to deny it, Ice made a snap decision in that moment. He knew he would regret it later. He knew that it would cause him such intense pain that it would rival Maverick’s. But Tom also knew he couldn’t leave Maverick alone to deal with this. 

He was still his wingman. Whether Maverick wanted him to be or not.

[brotherskywalker]

Star Wars Rare Pairs 2023 Dear Creator letter!

Dear Creator!

Thank you so much for being my match this year! I hope you like Luke/Leia, cause, uh, that's what I like! I tried to be very broad this year with my requests. I am excited to see what you come up with. My #1 desire is that you write something you're passionate about writing. If it's Luke/Leia(/Whoever) and you were excited to write it, I am excited to get it!

I know some people like specifics, so I will go over some here, but feel free to pick and choose, mix and match, whatever from the list. Most importantly, feel free to go Alternate Universe to whatever extent you want if that helps. Also feel free to be canon compliant. You can do a coffee shop AU or "What if Vader didn't die?" type scenario. The only exception is please do not write/draw "Luke raised on Alderaan, Leia raised on Tatooine" or variations of that.

My likes are just my likes, not requirements (obviously!). Please don't feel you have to include them if any of them are squicks, not interesting or too much for you. They are just here to help guide you if you want guidance.

Likes: Romantic sex that’s in-character, kinky sex, incest pregnancy/kids, big incest family/lots of kids, the incest taboo ("it's wrong but we’re so compatible we can’t stop"), Luke and/Leia getting off on the incest factor (initially or eventually), the idea that “the Force ships it” or created Luke/Leia as twins specifically so they could recombine together by having kids thus making more Jedi/Force users (it got things "wrong" with Anakin but This Time it's ttly gonna Do It Right...), plot-with-porn, porn that somehow feels like Star Wars (as opposed to just ‘a bedroom’), Force connection enhancing sex/orgasms and twins enhancing it even more, pregnancy sex/Leia being pregnant with Luke's kid(s) enhancing the Force/sex-connection even more, graphic/kinky/explicit sex, lactation/breastmilk consumption, top!Luke, Luke cumming inside Leia's vagina/against her cervix, cock soaking/warming (usually post-sex, not in lieu of), cervix play/penetration/dilation, age gaps, big cocks, two cocks in one pussy, pushing sexual limits, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, using the Force to enhance sex/inappropriate use of the Force, Star Wars humans as not-quite-human anatomically (i.e. maybe they release sex pheromones; maybe they have slightly different sex organs; maybe women from Naboo have X type of vagina or men from Tatooine have Y types of cocks; maybe Leia could never have sex with men from Alderaan because she needed a compatible dick like Luke has, etc.), romance/romantic gestures, domestic fluff, trans man!Han, cuckold!Han, asexual!Han, soul mates/Destiny/Fated to be together, cheesy tropes written realistically/seriously, creative AUs, slice of life, kidfic (where the parents are still sexually active/having more kids), between the scenes/fill-in-the-blanks, fixit fics, "What if?" scenarios, time travel/multidimension.

With MMF pairings I generally like DP on the girl (anal/vaginal or two cocks in one vagina), or Luke in Leia's vagina and the other male in Luke's ass (or just watching). I generally view Luke as a top, but I think he can switch depending on the situation/partner. I could also 100% see Luke swapping back and forth between two partners penetrating them both in turn. (Han or Din or Mon or whoever bent over next to Leia as he goes back and forth between them, or magical use of the Force, magical double-Tatooine!dick, whatever.)

DNW:

Han. I’m sorry to say, but I'm just not a very big fan of Han. I personally feel like Han/Leia is a toxic relationship that was doomed to fail, though I am open to seeing you sell me on it. I have read and written Luke/Leia/Han, but I generally prefer him not involved. However, if he’s not part of the pairing requested, I prefer him not to be dead. Also, please do not make Leia cheat on him. An AU where they never got together is fine, or just a “we broke up” throw-away line would suffice. If he is part of the  requested pairing then you can do as you see fit--Leia/Luke allowing him into their bedroom, Han/Leia having a threesome with Luke, all three in love from the start, Han shipping the twins and getting them to admit their feelings for each other, etc. Generally I prefer Luke/Leia+Han (vs. Han/Leia+Luke), but I’m 100% okay with a happy domestic fluff thing where they all three live together. I'm also fine with Han/Luke in that regard. (I vastly prefer a true threesome vs. a V where both love Leia but not each other. Han/Luke when Leia is off on a diplomatic mission is fine, though preferrably kept to a minimum in the story.)

Probably unsurprisingly, I am also not a fan of Mara Jade in "Legends" and would prefer her to AU not exist, for her and Luke to "broken up," or for it to be set before she and Luke hook up. I would also be fine with something like Mara likes to watch but not be involved, Mara is Luke's "beard" so he can Leia and be together (and in that case Luke can be Mara's "beard" for any pairing you want Mara to be part of if you want), etc.

I’m not into female anal sex (double penetration--a cock in each hole--or male-on-male anal is okay; pegging is fine but not a fav), Luke ejaculating anywhere but inside Leia's vagina (with exceptions if you write several scenes that progeessively advance their intimacy, a story that goes from masturbating to sex later, or something like that), death fic of any of the main pair, cheating, watersports/scat, bloodplay, vore, birth control (either explicitly note they aren't using it for breeding!kink, or, if you hate incest pregnancy, just don’t mention it/prengancy possibility), racism, homophobic/transphobic anything, feminization of Luke (he is not an effeminate gay twink in my universe even if he fucks other men/is bisexual), trans!Luke (trans!Leia amab with she/her pronouns or trans!Han afab with he/him pronouns are fine; nothing against trans!Luke it is just not what I want for this ficathon this year), toxic masculinity, Reylo in any form, The Last Jedi in general, religion, EU/Legends/book or cartoon canon (I'm just not familiar with them though obviously does not apply if you matched with me on a Legends pairing. I don't mind you using the canon from those shows/books, just not so deeply that someone who hasn't seen them would be confused), "Luke raised on Alderaan, Leia raised on Tatooine" (nothing wrong with it, just way too over done).

Common DNW that I am not opposed to:

incest, under age sex (as young as 13/14 pubescent is fine), rape/non-con sometimes (like a Jabba/Leia/Luke scenario, I don't want Luke raping Leia unless maybe Sith!Luke), coercion (like Dark Side!Luke coercing Leia would be okay), bestiality/monster sex, rimming/sounding (especially cervical), impregnation/pregnancy, labor/contraction/cervical dilation sex, lactation/breastmilk drinking, marriage, kidfic/curtain fic, very explicit/graphic sex (the more graphic the better!), happily ever after, super plotty AND super porny (my absolute fave). A/B/O stuff (I am not super familiar with it, but I am totally open to reading a Luke/Leia take on it).

Star Wars Original Trilogy:

(in no particular order!)

Jabba the Hutt/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker

I think the obvious one here is the rescue of Han fails and both are captured. I would be really excited to see this done well as a slow-burn where Luke and Leia fall in love while also being forced to service Jabba, eventually resulting in them escaping after having discovered/admitted their true feelings for each other. However, if you want to do a total AU ("What if... Luke was sold to Jabba as Tatooine slave when he was a child?") or a non-stop Luke/Leia rapefest or something, I am open to it. I'd prefer a glimmer of a happy ending, but that happy ending could be them getting mindbroken fucked and stockholm'd happy with their situation. I am 100% fine with monster sex with big Hutt cocks and weird sex drugs and shit if you want to go there. Or, "What if... Jabba was actually a really great lover?" lol

Lando Calrissian/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker

I would love to see a domestic fic where Lando is somehow the "third" in a Luke/Leia love triangle. I think he could be less complicated than Han in a lot of ways. This could be a one-time trio, or a committed triad. I am open to either. Or even an AU! Have fun with it! Give us some Lando love. "What if... the Empire never took Bespin, Luke rejoined them and they hid out there for a few months?" Lando helps Luke build a wardrobe (but without super gay Chanel boots fanon Luke, please)? Lando is Force-sensitive? Luke is hiding from the pain of Han/Leia at Lando's and ends up telling him the truth about his feelings and Lando helps play matchmaker? Han continues being an abusive asshole to Leia and Lando and Luke put a stop to it and treat her right? Leia seduces both of them? Space sex pollen?

Lando Calrissian/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Han Solo

Foursome? Aliens made them do it? Partner swapping? A bet that goes too far? Han/Lando and Luke/Leia that gets combined? You decide! "What if... sex pollen?" lol How many dicks can Leia take at once? Let's fine out! Feel free to add Chewie/others if you're going for a total orgy, but I'd still like some plot/consequences/what happens next if you do.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker

The classic. I think most of all what I'd like to see with a pairing about them is just something different. I don't need to see them hooking up after Endor, that's been written plenty. I'd like either a What If? AU ("What if Han died in the carbonite?" "What if they were both captured by the Empire?" "What if Obi-Wan told Luke she was his sister sooner?" "What if Luke never learned they were siblings?" "What if Leia went to Dagobah with him?" "What if they hooked up before Luke discovered they were siblings?" "What if Luke got Leia pregnant after he blew up the first Death Star?" "What if Luke never met Yoda?") WHATEVER. Or something like a "coffee shop AU" if you think you can pull it off. (Not specifically a coffee shop AU, just something out of universe. It could be set in the 1970s and Luke is a midwest farm boy and Leia is a high society girl from New York; they could be mermaids; it could be fantasy; it could be a high school AU, whatever.) I love them together. I would like them to be in love with each other by the end of the story. If you have an idea for a Post-RotJ scenario, I am all for it. If you want to write a "between the scenes" thing like them hooking up between ANH and ESB or whatever, that is fine, too. I just want to push the limits when it comes to stories for them because I feel a lot of them are treading the same water. Go crazy and weird! Time travel! Dimension hopping! Crossover with something else! I just want more people to love them.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Biggs Darklighter

"What if... Biggs didn't die?" lol I'd love a Biggs who survived the battle at Yavin and got a proper reunion with Luke. Maybe he and Leia already know each other? Maybe Luke can be the Big Man now and introduce Biggs to the Princess. Maybe Luke/Biggs was already a thing and Leia wants in on it. Maybe Leia is into Biggs to Luke's sadness and then it turns out they wanted him as a third all along. I am open to what you come up with!

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/C3PO

Okay, this is probably a bit of a crackship, but I am up for it. C3PO can be a participant with some useful sex attachment, or just watching/assisting, whatever floats your boat. Perhaps he plays Matchmaker! "I do believe there is no need for concern, Master Luke. The odds of an incestuous child being born with genetic issues in this day and age are 5,678,345 to one!" "All right, Threepio, thank you. Now sit down and set vibration levels to six, please." "Not again, sir!"

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader

"What if Vader lived?" or "What if Luke and Leia were captured?" "What if Vader raised one of the twins?" I generally prefer not to have Dark Side Luke/Leia because I think it's overdone, but if you've got a unique spin on it, I am open to it. I have often thought a path for this scenario could go Luke/Leia admit their feelings which is Obviously Wrong and Dark Side, so they give in and turn and have great incest sex, they soon discover being in love and incestuous is actually Wonderful and Right and Good, and through their love they turn to the Light side again! Vader can help facilitate all of this. I am also 200% down for Vader/Leia/Luke DP. If twincest is fine, then adding Dad shouldn't be a problem, right? Bonus points if this somehow prevents Alderaan from being destroyed.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Han Solo

I'd be open to anything here, same as with Lando. I can see almost any Luke/Leia alone scenario just tweaked to add Han. I do think Han can act as a balance for Luke and Leia to keep them from spiraling too far into each other. I personally think that the Force/twin connection between Luke/Leia would make Han feel left out/third wheel, but that could also be a fun angle. How do they make him feel loved and included? ("What if... Han was secretly also Force sensitive?")

I also have a slight headcanon that Han is a trans man/super bottom, so if it tickles your fancy to write, for example, Leia with a strap on and Luke with a big dick DPing Han's ass and boypussy, I'd be all for that. I'd also enjoy Leia in his boypussy with a strap on while Luke fucks Leia's pussy with his cock, etc. or maybe just Han masturbating while watching Luke and Leia fuck because he's so impotent/whatever. Basically, anything to beta/cuck Han. (But happily!)

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Mon Mothma

If you requested it because you had an idea, please go for it, but here are some ideas. Maybe Leia/Mon already have a thing and they add Luke, or Luke/Leia where they add Mon. It could be something like a classic "All three crash land on a planet during a diplomatic mission and have to fuck to convince the aliens they're legit" or "Magical space pollen made them do it." I am totally open. I would LOVE to see Mon get some loving. ("What if... Mon was secretly a swinger and invited the twins into her secret sex cabal?")

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi

"What if... Obi-Wan lived?" is probably the obvious choice here. I am open to your interpretation. "We have to repopulate the Jedi and you're the only girl left!" could be one... Or you could say he raised them both somewhere together. Or perhaps being with them again is like being with Anakin and Padme again after so long and he is unable to control himself...

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/R2D2

Probably the same vein as with C3PO... R2 can just watch, or maybe he's got some fun gadgets he can use to help stimulate and enhance Luke and Leia's pleasure. Perhaps one twin walks in on the other in an intimate scenario and is invited to join... "What if... R2 is secretly recording Leia masturbating for Luke...?" ("What if Leia is recording herself for Luke?") Poor Artoo. He also Knows The Truth about their siblingness, so that could be an interesting angle.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Wilhuff Tarkin

"What if the rescue goes wrong and Luke is also captured?" could be a good start. Perhaps something more AU where one of the twins was raised by Vader and the other is captured and they are either broken-in by Tarkin or else seduce him themselves... Maybe Tarkin just likes to watch... "What if... they manage to turn Tarkin to the 'good side' via the power of their sex?" I am all for redemption of Tarkin or utter corruption of the twins. They can fly away and live happily-ever-after with him, or they can escape the Death Star moments before it explodes with him on it. Or anything in between. (Maybe Tarkin, knowing the Force is real because of Vader, wants to breed Luke/Leia in an effort to capture more Jedi magic... and gets a little carried away... or wants to do some impregnation himself...)

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Yoda

Oh god, idk why I requested this, haha. I think the best situation here is another "Yoda wants them to breed to create more Force-sensitive children" or something. Perhaps he needs to help out in some magical-Force way. Luke brings her to Dagobah? You decide. My god, does Yoda even have a penis...? "What if... I didn't request this prompt?"

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Canon Crossovers 

Finn (ST)/Leia Organa (OT)/Luke Skywalker (ST)

How about some time travel for this? You'll probably need an AU where Luke lives as well. Maybe Luke and Finn are training in the Force and somehow open a portal that either brings young Leia to them, or else travels them to her. No real plot there, other than I think it'd be fun and hot. You can pick the time period Leia is from. I'm down with post-RotJ Leia, but you could do pre-ANH, as well. Leia at the imperial academy and she's seduced by two strange hot guys? Go for it.

Finn (ST)/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker (OT)

Similar to the idea above, except in this case it's just Finn time traveling to young Luke and Leia, or Luke and Leia time traveling to Finn. Heck, it could even be some sort of meditation/dream thing where they never actually interact, but it "feels so real" in his head. Like sex with a Force ghost or something. I am 100% here for Force sensitive Finn, and I think young Luke/Leia/Finn would be super hot. I would be stoked if you could manage some Happily Ever After for all three, maybe this has to be an alternate timeline/parallel universe, but I'm into it. Also feel free to make it a one-time-only thing though.

Leia Organa (OT)/Din Djarin (Mando)/Luke Skywalker (Mando) 

By "OT" for Leia I basically mean "wherever Leia is during the events of The Mandalorian" though if you wanna do some time travel hijinx here, go for it. I am fine with this being Din/Luke where they add Leia, but my preference would be Luke/Leia that adds Din. Perhaps Grogu sets it up (cute little matchmaker). Perhaps incest is considered holy or normal among Mandalores. I like the level of trust and intimacy it would require. Perhaps Din catches them and promises them secrecy. Perhaps no one knows Luke and Leia are siblings. Perhaps it's a total AU where they're all Mandalorians! Have fun with it! (I've never read any Luke/Din stories, so if you're coming from that angle, please don't over trope it with Luke/Din fanon.)

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker (OT)/Finn/Rey (ST) 

Okay, this is basically the same as the Finn ones, except now we add Rey. I am very fond of Finn/Rey as well, so I think these two couples seeing reflections of each other in the opposite couple would be lovely. I am down for a big foursome, but if you'd rather write Finn/Rey and Luke/Leia that's fine. (Also fine with swapping partners, so long as there's some Luke/Leia and Finn/Rey in there.) Happy to have a parallel timeline or alternate universe where they can all happily ever after together, but also content to have Jedi magic have them briefly meet and have sexy times, before returning them to their timelines. It can totally be a post-RotJ Luke/Leia.

Luke Skywalker (BoBF)/Leia Organa (OT) 

This is basically just another version of Luke/Leia. I wanted to cover all my bases. But perhaps Leia sees or hears about Luke's performance from BoBF and it makes her reach out to him again after a long time of not communicating. (Is she concerned? Turned on? Both?)

Luke Skywalker (Mando)/Leia Organa (OT) 

Basically same as above.

Luke Skywalker (Mando)/Leia Organa (OWK) 

Okay, this is probably one of my most controversial pairings. I don't really want to see OWK-era Leia having sex, but I would be fine with kissing/hugging if done not too creepily. Sex is fine if she is aged to 13-16 or so. This could be another time-travel thing, it could be a Force-mind-connection thing. It could be a really weird dream. It could be two alternate timelines crashing (due to plot) that brings them together. I would definitely like some attraction between them. I am fine with sex if she's at least pubescent, but Luke should probably have a lot of (delicious) guilt about it. If you wanna go super kinky, go for it. Luke finding a way to time travel back to when Leia is like 14-16 and at the imperial academy is definitely a kink of mine. She doesn't know who he is, but he knows who she is. They have natural attraction and maybe hook up (to Luke's surprise), and both really enjoy it. He'll probably have to do a mind-wipe or create an alternate timeline/parallel universe, but I am totally here for it. Give me some crazy age-gapped twincest.

Obi-Wan Kenobi | Ben (PT)/Luke Skywalker (OT)/Leia Organa (OT) 

Young Obi-Wan with Luke/Leia? Hot damn, yes please. However you want to make it happen, I am here for it. Bringing him to the future temporarily could be cool... a real Jedi Master to teach Luke and Leia... but I could also enjoy Luke/Leia going to the past to meet him. Are they shades of Anakin/Padme? Does Obi-Wan know who they are? It could be set post-Revenge of the Sith if you want. It could be a really convincing hologram that Obi-Wan recorded long ago. It could be an alternate timeline/parallel universe Obi-Wan crossing over into a different dimension. It could be a total AU where somehow Obi-Wan never aged, or was always young, or hell, maybe they're all college classmates in an AU. Whatever works for me.

Rey (ST)/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker

Same idea as Finn/Luke/Leia, just with Rey instead. I admit, of the three scenarios (Finn alone, Rey alone, Finn and Rey together) this is the one I am least excited about... but if you have a great idea, let's go!

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Any Star Wars Crossovers 

Anakin Skywalker (PT)/Leia Organa (Any-Canon)/Luke Skywalker (Any-Canon)

The main idea here is "hot young Anakin with hot young Luke and young Leia." It can be an AU where he raised them. It can be a time travel thing, or a Force-thing. Hell, it could be a situation where they don't even know who he is. Basically the same sort of scenarios as I wrote above for young Obi-Wan/Luke/Leia.

Din Djarin/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker (Any) 

Just covering my bases, see the same pairing in "Canon Crossovers."

Luke Skywalker (BoBF)/Leia Organa (Any) 

Just covering my bases, see the same pairing in "Canon Crossovers."

Luke Skywalker (Mando)/Leia Organa (Any) 

Just covering my bases, see the same pairing in "Canon Crossovers."

Padmé Amidala (PT)/Anakin Skywalker (PT)/Luke Skywalker (Any-Canon)/Leia Organa (Any-Canon)

Same as the one with Anakin, just now add Padmé. I love how similar Anakin/Padme are to Luke/Leia, so I definitely would appreciate a situation where they're all reflections and mirrors of each other. I would also be happy with something like... Luke/Leia watching a sexy holovid of Anakin/Padme having intimacies and getting swept up and turned on by it, etc. So not actual interaction between all four. That would still fulfill the prompt for me.

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Star Wars Sequel Trilogy 

Finn/Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker (ST) 

Rey/Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa (ST)

Finn/Leia Organa/Rey/Luke Skywalker (ST) 

Everyone lives! And has sex! Okay, so these three pairings are all variations of each other. I mentioned my preferences for Finn/Rey in the Canon Crossover section, so you can apply that here. It's just with older Luke/Leia, instead. I think these would have to either be AU or "Force ghost" scenarios, but I am open to either of those. Or whatever else you might come up with. They can all be coworkers at an office and Luke is the manager and Leia his hot wife/sister and Finn and Rey two grunts. Or they can all be in the military, or they can all ride unicorns and be faery people... I am open to anything.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Han Solo (ST) 

This can be set before TFA if you want them to all be alive. Otherwise give me an AU or Force ghosts, whatever you'd like.

Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Lando Calrissian (ST) 

Han dies but everyone else lives and they hook up! Or perhaps an AU where they were all always together. I am totally down with whatever you want. Give me that hot geriatric sex! Don't for a second think because everyone is old and wrinkly that I don't want to see them fucking if you've got it in you.

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa (ST)

I would honestly love to read some Luke/Leia set in this time frame. It could be before The Force Awakens if you want. Perhaps before Luke totally runs off. Perhaps after he runs off Leia finds him and that makes him run off even more. Perhaps they're having sex/a relationship the whole time anyway. Perhaps Ben saw them together as a teen and freaked out. Perhaps it's an AU where they've always been together and raised Ben happily in the Force and nothing bad ever happened. I am here for it.

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Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi Series

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa (OWK) 

How can we make them meet? Perhaps it's in Force-laden dreams? Or give me an AU where they're brought together as kids. Feel free to age them up to 13-16 so it's less creepy. I am okay with kissing and some innocent innuendo if you want to keep them 10ish. I think my preference would be 13-16 year old versions where both are brought to a third planet to be raised. (So no Leia-on-Tatooine, or Luke-on-Alderaan.) I would also be happy with a total AU. ("What if the Empire took over everything and both kids met at the Imperial academy?" "What if Vader raised them both?" "What if Padmé lived and raised them?" whatever.)

Obi-Wan Kenobi/Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa (OWK)

For anything sexual, please age the twins to at least 13. Do you want creepy pedophile Obi-Wan? Go for it. Maybe he wants to breed Leia himself to create more Jedi. Perhaps it's a Jedi/Padawan ritual to keep them closer. Maybe he's lost his god-damn mind. Maybe he walks in on the twins innocently fooling around and jerks off. Maybe they're all captured by the Empire and Forced to do sexy things to each other. I have no idea. I think it'd prefer it to be less creepy and more consensual, so perhaps the twins coming on to/seducing him? "What if... just being around Force-sensitive people again is overwhelming for Obi-Wan in ways he didn't expect..." and they remind him so much of Anakin/Padmé...

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Star Wars: Legends EU 

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa (Legends) 

I really dislike Mara/Luke, so my preference is that she doesn't exist, they are mutually broken up, or she is fine with Luke/Leia but is not involved in the story. I would say the same for Han. I prefer Luke/Leia not be cheating on their partners, but it can be a throw away line about being broken up or whatever. You can also do an AU, or set it before those relationships were introduced. I have no specific scenarios, I just wanted the option of Legends era Luke/Leia.

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa/Han Solo (Legends) 

Same as my OT Luke/Leia/Han scenarios, but now with Legends canon added!

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa/Jacen Solo/Jaina Solo (Legends) 

Twin on twin action sounds fun. Is it something the Force encourages, perhaps? Does one set of twins catch the other set of twins in a compromising situation and it ignites desire for them? This can be a foursome if you want, or both pairs having sex at the same time but separately (secretly or not). I am fine with either. Bonus points if Jacen and Jaina are secretly Luke and Leia's kids.

Luke Skywalker/Leia Organa/Lando Calrissian (Legends)

Same as my Luke/Leia/Lando OT scenarios, now just with bonus Legends canon! As with anything, please have Han either okay with the trio, AU where he's never been involved, or else a throw away "we broke up." Prefer no cheating, no dead!Han. (Unless it's a really good plot point, I guess.)

FOR TREATS: Obviously anything is fine! I love treats! Give me 100 words of a simple Luke/Leia kiss and I'll be stoked.

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FOR FANART:

I am open to everything. I really love explicit/graphic fanart, so that would be my preference if you're up to the task. If not, something romantic or at least clearly-shippy would be my next favorite. Feel free to use one of my fic prompts to set your scene, or just give me something that inspired you. I like romantic and beautiful, I like dreamy. I enjoy some level of humor, but probably not anything too dark. I would rather more realistic than chibi-style, but obviously you've got what you've got. It doesn't have to be realistic, just more realistic proportions. Cartoon or anime style is fine if that's your vibe. Single pictures, multiple pictures or a comic are all fine! I'd especially like:

-Pregnant Leia with Luke worshipping her

-Leia giving Luke a BJ staring up at him with adoring eyes

-Luke coming inside Leia with one of those inset images showing him fertilizing her egg

-Luke/Leia getting married/in wedding clothes, your choice but I love white with gold trim

-Luke suckling Leia's breasts (she could also be pregnant, etc)

-Something totally shippy but fantasy--as centaurs, mermaids, angels, riding dragons, unicorns, whatever.

-If you really want to blow my mind, read some of my fics (on AO3) and illustrate a scene from one of them? *_*

Obviously feel free to add another person to any of the scenarios to fulfill your match!

For treats, obviously any of this can go out the window. Chibi sketch treats would be fine!

Quicklink back to my sign up!

Thanks for reading! Like I said, feel free to mix and match any of those ideas. Feel free to ignore them. Come up with your own. I mostly want loving Luke/Leia and however you give that to me I will be happy. I think I'd be happier with some of the most weird or bizarre scenarios than the more straight forward "they had sex after the medal ceremony", but if that's what you've got in you, go for it.

Can't wait to see what you do! Also feel free to ask me anonymous questions/clarifications if you need/want! Also, I have written a lot of Luke/Leia stories on Ao3 so feel free to browse through those to get an idea of what I like.

Thank you so much!