#valuing friendships just as much as romantic relationships. just because it's DIFFERENT doesn't mean it is any LESSER in intensity

[d-lissa]

I am biting anyone that takes Tashi out of the throuple of doom and say that the guys only actually love each other and not her, or would've been better off without her or whatever.

Just say you can't conceive being in love with more than one person at the same time and move on, because that movie was not for you.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Why Ray's reaction speaks volumes about his feelings for Sand, rather than his feelings for Mew

It's natural to think Ray reacted so strongly in the fight with Boston because of his residual feelings and loyalty to Mew. But let's be clear, this revelation doesn't adversely affect Mew in any immediate way if you read this as Ray being upset on Mew's behalf.

Boston's bombshell is instead targeted to hurt Ray specifically. An attempt to make Ray look like a villain and Sand to feel like a victim of Ray's 'deception'. Sand being the unwarranted collateral of this fight.

Why is Ray angry?

So let's break down all the reasons Ray is angry in the first place.

This wasn't Boston's story to tell. He saw and recorded the kiss without their knowledge or consent. He frames it like a 'dirty secret' that Ray intentionally hid from Sand. But it's Ray's right to choose when and if he felt it necessary to share this with Sand, depending on the progression of their relationship.

What Boston is claiming is only partly true. Yes they did kiss. But no, Ray did not 'take Mew's virginity'. Nothing further happened and Boston is embellishing, which implies more gravitas to a 'history' which doesn't exist.

Sand is being fed this information without full context. He doesn't have the benefit of understanding Ray's past (namely his breakdown), the nature of his friendship with Mew. Without it, Ray is going to look categorically bad, especially through the lens of his affectionate behaviour with Sand that day.

The revelation could ruin what potential future there may have been between Ray and Sand, if Sand is driven away. Ray's newfound happiness dashed in an instant.

The initial part of his Ray's reaction is defensive - the shock, the betrayal regarding such an invasion of privacy. Ray's first punch is thrown after "keep track?" The audacity and complete lack of justification felt as to why Boston would even do such a thing. Ray's second attempt to enact violence is when Boston says, "are you going to be two-timing?" I saw the following through his response: 'It's one thing to hurt me. I'm your friend. I know what you're like. But why on earth are you dragging Sand into this? How dare you.'

Attacking Ray's Weak Spot

We can't change our pasts. Whether it was one kiss or years of unrequited feelings - ultimately, nothing became of it. Ray can't erase the fact he did once love Mew (and probably always will in some capacity because of what Mew did for him). But if Ray were to eventually fall in love with Sand, then his romantic feelings for Mew would become past tense. So whatever he felt then would have no bearing on his here and now. Ray shouldn't be made to feel ashamed.

The progress Ray made with Sand this episode has essentially been unravelled through this one act. It's been hugely difficult for Ray to even consider loving anyone other than Mew. He only just started to display inklings of welcoming the idea. We should all be afforded the opportunity to move on. For Boston to use Mew (someone who means so much to Ray symbolically) as ammunition to hurt Sand (someone new he's grown to care about), is pitting his past and future against each other. And it's not fair to do so. Your past doesn't negate what you may do in future. Similarly the future doesn't discredit the past. Both are important for different reasons.

Ray has every right to value both Mew and Sand, because his feelings for each of them will be entirely different in their own right. But what Boston has tried to spin here is a comparison game. 'Ray loves Mew. He's always loved Mew.' The further insinuation being: 'Ray will never find you as important Sand. You're lesser than. You'll never compare in Ray's eyes'. It's simply not Boston's place to say that. How would he know? It's possible that one day Sand could match Ray's love for Mew, surpass it even. But Ray isn't to know that yet.

There's also a palpable air of derision in how Boston delivers this. He makes Ray's feelings out to be a slightly pathetic, sad little obsession, by wording it as "Ray's whole ass is owned by Mew". Reducing Ray's incredibly complex feelings for someone who saved his life to a more superficial pining. The nuances of which Sand won't be aware of.

Hurting Ray by hurting Sand

Not only is Boston trying to tarnish Ray's character by accusing him of misleading and lying to Sand - but in doing so he's humiliating Sand for not being aware of this. If he can tell that Sand has feelings for Ray, he knew this information would hurt an innocent third party. All 'disguised' under a feat of righteousness.

I'm sure Ray is more than aware of how Sand treats him. Sand has been nothing but kind and accommodating where he's concerned. Willing to bend to his will and soften to his demands. Sand absolutely does not deserve to be dragged into any unnecessary drama, (drama which involves a notable part of Ray's history). So Ray is forced to feel somewhat responsible, based purely on the fact that this very 'drama' concerns him.

It's because Ray cares about Sand's feelings, cares about Sand's opinion of him, cares about what Sand feels towards him, and is also concerned by Sand being caught in this crossfire - that Ray is so clearly flustered. No matter what he's done, Sand shouldn't have to suffer along by association. That's not fair on Sand. It's his past in question. It's his best friend doing the damage. And it's because of him that Sand is now getting hurt too.

He can't outright deny it, because part of what Boston is saying is true. (Trying to vehemently defend yourself can sometimes come across even more as an admission of guilt). He can't apologise to Sand, because he hasn't figured out who Sand is to him yet. (If Ray doesn't deem him as a boyfriend at present, then he can't be sorry for liking someone else). The kiss with Mew also relates closely to an absolute rock bottom period of his life, which he probably wasn't ready to share with Sand just yet.

Ray has been made out to be a liar and a cheat and he's just praying that Sand can give him the benefit of the doubt. There's absolutely no way he can possibly explain all the intricacies to Sand in such an instant, but he's allowing Sand to ask him should he wish to. It's the least he can do. But Sand is going through his own internal battle now, and both need time to process what this has led them to realise about how they feel about each other.

[wordsinhaled]

so, i know this is a Take and i'm sure it may not make sense or be favorable to everyone but like, i genuinely feel that the beauty of crowley & aziraphale's relationship (including as it's depicted on screen) is in the diversity of interpretation that it is still open to even after season 2. i think (and this is my personal feeling, with which i'm sure all will not agree) there's so much nuance to What Is Romantic* that their having had an onscreen kiss can and could and should be interpreted in more than one way (which neil’s also confirmed, for what it’s worth, which with death of the author is up to each person anyway).

queerplatonic relationships can include kissing. so can explicitly romantic relationships. kisses can be sexual or nonsexual. and dedication, passion, commitment, loyalty, are not and should not belong only to romance but can and should also be found in friendship and other types of committed relationships.

and i do understand that society places a very specific definition and value on physical exchanges of affection that codes them as specifically romantic in nature, coming along with certain expectations, and it's hard to remove an onscreen kiss from that interpretation. but even so, i think the purpose and the entire point of crowley and aziraphale's entire relationship is their defying of norms, and the picking & choosing of which human social conventions they wish to act on as well as how to interpret them.

(as just some examples: crowley wears a lot of clothes from the women's section, while openly stating he isn't a "lad" and would presumably openly deny being a woman as well because he doesn't actually fit into any human conception of gender but chooses to present in very specific ways as suits him. same for aziraphale's performance of his gender. other conventions they pick and choose from as suits them: crowley introducing aziraphale to and aziraphale making an art out of enjoying food, them both enjoying different forms of human art and culture, aziraphale choosing not to use technology while crowley does use it, crowley changing his appearance tons of times while aziraphale wears the same clothes for generations and deeply values their preservation, aziraphale not actually engaging in the proper duties of a landlord while technically having maggie "rent" her shop space from him, speed limits and traffic laws are for everyone else as far as crowley is concerned, etc.)

so, like... i would hardly say that anything about their relationship and how they express their care for each other is entirely conventional, and even if it is perceived in certain ways by the humans around them, that never necessarily means that the humans have the full grasp of it or get it exactly right. crowley and aziraphale can kiss and have sex, or they can kiss and not have sex, or they can not kiss or have sex at all. crowley's kiss can mean a multitude of things. the depth and uniqueness of their relationship and their connection to each other (regardless of how that connection is interpreted) is the point. [one could argue gabe and beelzebub's relationship makes crowley and aziraphale's not unique in its angel/demon nature, but gabe and beelzebub aren't bound by the same degree of duty/responsibility/conscience/trauma/etc. which allows them to go off together while crowley and aziraphale are uniquely bound up in those things. but anyway.]

they do and have done a gazillion things for each other that could already be interpreted in multitudes of ways even before season 2, but the nonnegotiable interpretation of all of these acts is that through them, they show their undeniable importance to each other. in my opinion, their relationship IS ineffable in that it is characterized by a bond that transcends (and somehow also encompasses) all definition and classification and that is (to me! ymmv) so inherently liberating. it allows us the audience to identify with it in various ways and take whichever readings we like from it that feel most authentic to us. and it also means that even if there is a "conventional" reading to their actions it doesn't/shouldn't negate other meanings/readings/interpretations/etc.

(*what is Romance is so complicated to me and there is a lot to unpack there... may or may not try to do this in a separate post if i have the spoons at some point)

thanks for coming to my TED talk haha

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Aren't you tired of forced romances with no chemistry that only take away from the actually interesting plot? Don't you just want media where romance isn't portrayed as being superior and more important than (queer)platonic relationships?

Well, my exhausted aro ass is too, so here are a few tricks and wisdoms I've gathered over my years of being a-spec (which is all of them) on how to avoid romance (in media) in a very allonormative society 💚🤍🩶🖤

(this is a rec list btw. no I am not shitting on the shows that I tagged, quite the opposite)

1. Middle Grade

I get if you aren't really into that, because it is kind of annoying to be pointed to literal children's literature when all you want is a story that isn't constantly being interrupted by describing the main guy's heated eyes for the twentieth time.

However.

It is true that in middle grade, friendship is always more important than romance. Because, let's face it. Making two eleven year old characters kiss is kinda weird. So even if there is a romance, it isn't very prominent and treated more like friendship and/or a puppy crush. Plus some stories get surprisingly dark?!?!

Examples

- Howl's Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones), technically a romance in the end, but mostly focused on found family, shenanigans, and finding your own value

- House of Many Ways (DWJ). Yes, again. I really like her books okay? They always have something so fantastical and whimsical about them. This is my other favorite book by her and it has literally no romance at all. Plus a hmc cameo that is so fun !!

- Coraline (Neil Gaiman). Maybe this is cheating because I never actually read it. However. a) the movie traumatized me. b) Wybie was added to the movie, he doesn't exist in the book, so if "power of friendship" isn't your thing this will be great. Probably vibes over plot.

Flyte (Angie Sage). Technically this is the second book, but I never read the first one and still understood everything. Once again, no romance at all. A fun read, which can get surprisingly dark at times.

2. Short Story Collections

Once again, I get it if it isn't your thing. Short stories are - as the name reveals - short. Which means: no worldbuilding, very limited narrator, open ending, no time to really get attached to characters, etc.

But.

The cool thing about collections, is that they always have a certain theme. And as long as the theme is not romance, romance will not be the focus. Even if there is a romantic relationship, it will be used to explore this theme since there simply isn't time for anything else.

Examples:

Life Ceremony (Sayaka Murata) This is the book that actually made me figure out: hey! I do actually like short stories !! The main theme is basically about being different and it plays a lot with body horror and the perception of your own body in contrast with how society sees it. There is even a story about two women who platonically live together and raised multiple children!

Canterbury Classics: Classic Tales of Horror (introduction by Ernest Hilbert). As the name suggests, this is a collection of horror short stories, featuring well-known authors such as Bram Stoker, Edgar Allan Poe or Charlotte Perkins Gilman. As these are classic old tales, the language is a bit complicated at times and you can read them for free on Gutenberg. However, the book is very very pretty and the introduction is very interesting (Origins of the genre, specific tropes and monsters, etc.)

3. Podcasts

PODCASTS!!! If you follow me, you are probably already aware of those. However, in case you don't, let me introduce you to the wonderful world of Audiodramas.

The cool thing about Podcasts is that pretty much anyone can do it. All you need is an idea, a mic, a lot of motivation, and you're pretty much set to go. No producers or publishers you need to get approval from. So it is only natural that this medium is filled to the brim with queer creators. Basically every character is somewhat queer. It's awesome.

Examples:

- The Silt Verses. I adore TSV. I listened to the first season like, four times. (the second one is good too but OH MY GOD THE FIRST ONE). And one of the main characters is canonically and explicitly aro!! Sister Carpenter, I love you with my whole being. And the great thing is, it is very clear that the writers love her, too!! There is a lot (like a LOT) of body horror so it isn't for everybody. But if you think you can handle it I really recommend it. (Plus, not any romance plotlines at all !!)

- Wolf 359. This is one of the older ones and it is really good. It's a bunch of restless and very unwell people stuck in a spaceship under the unforgiving rule of capitalism. However bad you imagine it, I can assure you it is worse. But the really cool thing is that there literally isn't any romance at all. Like, there are great m/f friendships but they never even hint towards a romance. Some people are so unused to that that they literally ship the main dude with the fucking robot AI. (don't worry, not an actual romance plot).

- Girl in space. I am sure you will be absolutely shook to know that this one also takes place in space. It is about a girl. In space. Shocking, I know. Except that she has been on her own for well over a year when suddenly a fleet of strange ships arrive and kidnap her. There is also a very asshole-y robot. And questions about what makes us human. And found family!! And a goat. And cheese. Just go listen to it okay. This is also one of the shortest ones of the list, so maybe a good start.

- Malevolent. I have to confess that I personally am not a huge fan of this one? Like the premise is really cool - a detective who wakes up blind and with a demon in his head who can see through the detectives eyes. What the fuck?, you may ask yourself. So does Arthur Lester. Mysteries and other dimensions and a whole lot of pain ensues. Harlan is undeniably an awesome VA and a great writer, but his stories just seem a bit too repetitive to me? Nonetheless I know of lots of people who enjoy it a lot. Trying to define the relationship between Arthur and John (his demon) is perhaps the biggest mystery of them all. (Jk. there are multiple murders and stuff. they've really got other priorities)

- Middle:Below. This is another short one and probably the least famous of this list? It's about this funky lil dude with a ghost roommate and a cat who can talk (.....or can it?). There is a m/f friendship but it never turns into a romance (wow it is possible!!). They all go on adventures on the dimension between life and death. Despite the description, this is literally just a comedy. A bit spooky at best. Reminds me a bit of scarier kids cartoons like gravity falls.

4. "Gay" movies/series in countries with homophobic censorship

Now you may think, "hey that seems like a bit of an asshole move!". And you would be 100% correct in thinking that.

However.

It does also mean that the main relationship of the story can never be explicitly romantic. They can allude to it, they can try to show it. But they can never confirm. So it is very easy to interpret them as having a QPR. (because tbh I don't think I've ever seen one on television.)

Examples:

The Untamed. Look. I am aware that the first episode is so fucking atrocious, all right? And no, the CGI does in fact never get better. And sometimes the translated subtitles are a bit awkward. But I swear that it is so good. Trust me on this one, okay? Just make it through the first ep. It's a wild ride. Lan Zhan I love you. (However the book it is based on (written by a woman) depicts them being in an explicitly romantic relationship, with lots of very inaccurate and badly researched smut, so the fandom pretty much sees them as exclusively romantic.)

- Word of Honor. Very much in the same vein as The Untamed. Except that the first episode is less horrible. And the one dude has a very fruity fan. And they also raise a kid together. And the costumes of the villains are really fun!! I actually never finished this one tbh. I know that the book it is based on has one very extremely terrible ableist plot point, but I don't know if that made it into the show since I never got that far

The Devil Judge. The last two were fantasy, this one is a dystopia. Very tense and interesting. There is a romantic subplot (typical childhood friend vs bad boy love triangle), but he rejects the childhood friend and they can't exactly show him and the "bad boy" (who is actually a judge. and also kinda his sugar daddy) as explicitly romantic for the reason above. They also live in the same house and cook together and take care of a child together. Can totally recommend.

Assassination Classroom. A bunch of students have to kill their teacher who is an alien. that's literally the plot. I cried so hard at the finale. Nagisa and Karma have MASSIVE vibes and you can't convince me otherwise. (There is a romantic subplot that does end in a kiss, but they agree to continue as friends since those were..... extenuating circumstances. The dude very clearly is not into her). Nagisa also very aro-spec coded imo.

5. "Straightbaiting" Anime

Sometimes Anime does this thing (which I personally find very hilarious) where a boy and a girl will have no other romantic involvements or love interests while growing closer and closer, but never get together. A bit like reverse queerbaiting.

Examples:

- Fairy Tail. The ultimate power is friendship anime. That is all you need to know. (I should also perhaps warn you that the end of the last arc (and the sequel series, but we don't talk about that) are huge letdowns. Like the buildup? So good. But....welp. If that doesn't bother you too much and the idea to have a group of people be the main character instead of one person only, this may be the series for you. Just do yourself a favor and skip all the filler arcs

Soul Eater. I really love the vibes of this one. Once again, most of the fandom likes depicting them as explicitly romantic, but they never canonically are. It also reminds me a bit of creepy children cartoons. It is also where the superior fictional school exists, Devon. Frankenstein teaches there (the dude, not the monster). People transform into badass weapons. Nobody can convince me that Make Albarn is not a trans woman. However the ending deviates a bit from the manga, and I personally think the anime one is a bit worse

Noragami. This one will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the first anime I really watched. This one also has people who transform into weapons, but the vibes are very different. It goes a bit more into Japanese folklore in case that interests you.

Bonus: Canonically Aro/Heavily Aro-Coded Characters

They were not anywhere above because the stories they are in didn't really fit any of the categories. But they exist!

Wolf (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts). I adore Wolf. There is also barely any romance. Like, it will seem like it at first, but don't worry, it's only straightbaiting. There is a romance subplot but it's very brief and very much in the background. Overall very good aro show 👍

Isaac (Heartstopper) Very queer show, very high likelihood that you already know of it. The series per se is very romance focused, but as far as I've heard the a-spec rep in S2 is really good

Georgia (Loveless). Actually never read it. But, well. Title pretty self-explanatory dare I say. By the same author as Heartstopper (Alice Oseman)

Chance/Chris and Shadow/Ryan (woe.begone) Are explicitly in a QPR together !! they are also probably the healthiest couple in the podcast lol

Henry Clerval (Frankenstein). Henry is the "a couple of besties!!" to Victor's "we look like a couple <3"

Barbie (Barbie 2023) If you've seen it you know what I mean.

Jo Marsh (Little Women). I never read the book, but Jo in the 2019 movie??? very sus.

I would also recommend checking out Japanese books! I personally think they are much better at writing romance than the western people lol. It's more about knowing each other and sharing your views of the world, thus changing each other and leaving a mark forever, even if the relationship ends. (studio ghibli romance vibes). My favorite Japanese book doesn't have an English translation :(

aber an alle Deutsch-Sprecher*innen: Die Katzen von Shinjuku (Durian Sukegawa) -> og title: Shinjuku no Neko

Can't think of anything else right now, but please leave some of your own recommendations! Hope this helps ^^

[wing-ed-thing]

Kisame Hoshigaki Friendship to Lovers Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Fluff

𓆃 It's about the only way it's going to go. Kisame isn't exactly the type to seek out a romantic relationship off the bat. He just isn't very interested, but unlike some of his peers, he hasn't sworn off the potential of a partnership.

𓆃 And yes, to him it's a partnership which is why the friendship to lovers pipeline is so smooth. Because in any potential professional partnership, you'll grow closer and more personal until you've ended up in a place where you don't know what you are per se.

𓆃 Will Kisame ever answer you? Hell no. You shouldn't even ask because he'll laugh you off, mess up your hair, and move along.

𓆃 He's weird about labels, but that doesn't stop him from being territorial.

𓆃 Rather, he expects for your relationship to be just be understood. That any special relationship or importance or any other sappy title doesn't need to be said nor should it (because that's the line of work your in).

𓆃 While he doesn't really stick to the old-fashioned shinobi codes, they are very deeply ingrained in him. The Hidden Mist was a very rough village and used draconic methods for longer than a good number of other shinobi societies.

𓆃 So while Kisame doesn't swear off close friends or other valued individuals, he's prone to keeping other's at an arm's length. The underlying value also being that he wouldn't hesitate to cut down anyone for the sake of a mission.

𓆃 It's likely best if you understand that to a degree. Not to say that you would have to agree, but being in the shinobi world should allow you to understand his attitudes.

𓆃 Although, this doesn't differ too much from other shinobi values.

𓆃 An ideal partnership would be most possible with someone Kisame hits it off with. He likes the kind of person who is willing to go along with impulsive ideas and keeps things interesting.

𓆃 Not to mention who will make a great sparring partner. It's how he likes to have his fun, so if you have good stamina and take pride in your combat abilities, you're sure to build a close relationship.

𓆃 Kisame likes to roughhouse and that will make up a significant chunk of your banter.

𓆃 And you'll carry on just like that, not even noticing the exceptions you make for each other because you're together all the time.

𓆃 And one day, maybe he'll surprise you.

𓆃 "I've had my fill," Kisame might say, heaving a heavy sigh the last of his opponents falls to the ground.

𓆃 You might snort, jesting that you had never heard him say that before or a snide remark about how you fought more than he did.

𓆃 And when Kisame tells you, "I think I'm retired," he doesn't blame you when you laugh at him. He snickers along with you at the ridiculous thought.

𓆃 Because he never truly is retired. But if turning in a bounty to get the fighting itch out of his system before coming to your secluded spot by the shore to start dinner is his version of retired, you supposed you should give it to him.

𓆃 You'd throw your headbands and cloaks off a nearby cliff. You'd build your little cottage yourselves, your two weapons next to the door as if they were umbrellas.

𓆃 A little dock would be nearby where you'd continue to spar, and a thick, fortified kitchen table for when you're stitching each other up later that night.

𓆃 You supposed nothing really changes in Kisame's version of retirement other than no longer having any allegiance to a nation.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: I'm still recharging but since it's taking so long I wanted to throw y'all a bone.

[dichromaticdyke]

i can't stop thinking about how nathan was obsessing over magnus almost as much as he was obsessing over abigail. abigail he lost because he grossly misinterpreted their relationship and pushed way too far with her. but magnus he lost because magnus was an abusive piece of shit who valued revenge above all else.

but nathan almost sees them as equivalent. he sees them as people in his life who were greatly important to him, but who didn't feel the same way toward him. abigail didn't harbor romantic feelings towards nathan, and magnus was willing to throw their friendship/brotherhood away in the name of revenge.

i think again to what nathan said when murderface lamented being "no better than magnus." nathan said that the difference between magnus and murderface was that murderface gave them the chance to forgive him while magnus didn't. nathan is implying that he would've forgiven magnus (or at least would've been open to the idea) had magnus actually apologized and tried to do better.

and then when he's looking at the names of everyone who had "abandoned" him and he's telling them to come back and fight with him, magnus is included on that list. magnus is included on that list. god it makes me fucking sick. as pickles points out, everyone on that list isn't someone who abandoned nathan, but someone who nathan pushed away. but that's not true with magnus, is it? i mean, kind of, in the sense that nathan kicked him out of the band, but he only did that because magnus verbally abused the band and then stabbed him. but nathan still feels like he was abandoned by magnus, and then he feels like he was the reason magnus left. he said the same thing to magnus as he did to abigail, to his family, his band, his fans—"come back." as much as nathan tries to act like he doesn't care about his friends or anyone else, he does. he desperately does, even those that literally stab him in the back.

we see this first with him acting like his family is cringe and normie and they are, but he also fucking loves them. he pals around with his dad on the regular, and when he's feeling desperate and scared, the first thing he does is call them. and then he breaks his own rule about not caring about any of the band members by showing concern and care for toki about his drinking problem in "black fire upon us." and he continues to start to be more open to expressing his care towards his band members and friends and loved ones. there are a lot of examples we could go through here, but this is long enough as it is and i still have more to say.

i've been thinking about how he shuts other people out as a trauma response despite desperately needing others in his life. he watched his entire 2nd grade class die horrifically, and i think that was the catalyst there, the thing that made him start refusing to get close to anyone. something horrible can happen to those you care about at any moment, don't get too close. he starts dethklok, and his defenses lower a bit, he starts to grow close to his new band, and then magnus literally stabs him in the back. once again, as a trauma response, he shuts down. he puts in the rule that band members don't take an interest in each other. he's already close with pickles, skwisgaar, and murderface, so by the time toki joins, he just doesn't let himself get close—he forgets he exists sometimes, leaves him behind, etc. but again, that wall starts to chip away, by the time "dethcamp" comes around he starts treating him like his kid, getting him gifts, taking care of his room, driving to get him in the middle of the night when he fears he's in trouble.

and then toki gets kidnapped. and it happened again, he let himself get too close. he parties around the world with dethklok, tries to act like everything's normal and fine, oh no we don't miss people we hardly notice that they're gone. he refuses to try to help him because at this point he's all but completely shut down emotionally, and it takes external pressure to snap him (and the rest of the band) out of that mindset. and that pressure is the reminder that they can't shut each other out, that toki is important to the band, that toki is their brother. and bringing all that back to magnus, nathan is the one left with the guilt that he didn't get the chance to have with magnus what he now has with toki and the rest of dethklok. whether he blames himself or magnus or both is unclear to me but all this is still so tragic.

fuck magnus, obviously. but damn nathan really needed closure with him.

[findafight]

R/nance shippers are some of the first to scream homophobia/lesbophobia if you disagree with them or point out the Steve of it all, but they're the first in line to vilify Vickie, a canonically sapphic character, because she gets in the way of their ship.

It's so silly tbh. Like the ship someone likes (that doesn't erase a character's sexuality) has any say on whether or not some is/isn't homophobic.

Everybody loves pure of heart, dumb of ass and lesbian friendship until that lesbian loves her bff more than the possibility of a romantic relationship lol.

And yep. I think this is the first time I've seen a fandom vilify a female character that's a canon love interest who is getting in the way of a non canon gay ship when the gay ship is also two women. Claiming she has no personality when we see her have a similar sense of humour to Robin and Steve, like a movie Steve likes, get a bit nervous talking to a cute girl and rambling a bit, breaking up with her boyfriend because he refused to stay and help their hometown after a natural disaster. She's loyal and funny and brave. She's not the same as Robin, she does have a personality, (saying she doesn't have one and then also saying saying she's just a copy of Robin shifted to the left is also sus like.. what do they think of Robin, then?) And the fact that Vickie is canonically wlw!! Bi queen!!!

Something about it feels hinky to me. Especially when some people insisting Nancy is a lesbian do it. Now, that is a fine and reasonable HC, but acting like her relationships with men, regardless of her actual attraction to them, meant nothing to her is also not it. She chose those relationships, and while it may have been comphet, they still mattered to her? They were still people she trusted and was close to. (Honestly, exploring how those were still meaningful to her but the romantic/sexual aspects were not what she wanted from life/realizing she's gay could be interesting.)

It mostly boils down to folks valuing Romo ships above any other significant relationships, and that if it wasn't romantic and there wasn't sexual attraction, then obviously it didn't mean anything. And also possibly biphobia (especially concerning Vickie!)

I'm fine with people shipping different things, ship and let ship, I can avoid things I don't like, but acting like Steve is an irrelevant part of both Nancy and Robin's lives mischaracterizes all three of them, and saying that it would be a non issue makes it boring. At least be interesting with it! I'm not even saying Steve would have a problem with it, but that Robin would because while Steve can downplay how hurt he was by Nancy, and blame himself, Robin would at least see how bad the relationship ended and wouldn't want to rub salt in that wound. I think Steve would be more worried about Nancy hurting Robin and/or lying about how much the relationship means to her than he would be hurt, through he would have every right to be. After all, he most likely doesn't know he was cheated on, but he does know Nancy said she loved him when she didn't.

It's one of those ships that makes waaaay more sense if it's at least five years from canon (and even then it doesn't make sense to me unless it's reconnecting, because I don't see Nancy staying close to anyone in Hawkins once she gets out).

Everybody has their headcanon etc, but I think fandom is much more fun when there's a balance and Romo ships aren't prioritized over platonic ones, especially platonic ones that are canonically incredibly important to the characters

[1-up-chump]

Sorry if this request is too horrible. Is it possible for a reader who is completely broken morally, because no one has ever fallen in love with them or shown signs of attention? (Kuai, Fujin and Hanzo are in love with the reader)

Nah im fine with angst! But its gonna be a positive outcome bc in this house we value healing no matter how messy or long it takes!

Reader who feels broken from lack of love and affection in life.

Sub-zero/kuai:

He can emphasize with you to a degree. His upbringing in the lin kuei reinforced this idea that love is an obstacle, that the only thing that matters is the mission and loyalty. But kuai always knew even from a young age that love only strengthens the bond of loyalty, he loved his fellow brothers in arm and his blood brother bi-han no matter how much the lin kuei tried to whip it out of him.

But he understands that he had the luxury of having someone. You did not, in a different way your path had given you so many trials that would break weaker wills. But you were not strong, you were tired, hollow. Kuai saw your broken soul and was reminded of his brother, bi-han. But unlike bi-han who returned from the grave shrouded in darkness. You were well alive, physically.

Kuai tries his best to give you advice. He shows you that love doesn't mean a romantic attraction, you can find love in family and friendship. And you develop a strong friendship with kuei during your time together doing missions for the lin kuei and protecting earthrealm. Despite the aloof coldness of the cryomancer, he has given you a warmth you never even fathomed feeling. Even in the bitter cold of snow, the Aurora borealis reflects a light that brings heaven to earth.

Fujin:

While he has not seen many mortals as his brother raiden has trained, he has seen enough of what the trials and tribulations of mortal kombat can do to even the toughest of warriors. But this, this was something that made the winds stand too still.

Fujin could feel how lonely your soul was, the despair and hopelessness. Fujin not only wanted to give you hope out of the goodness of his being, but saw as a great test of his own wisdom. The wind god is persistent in showing you that life is so mysterious and expansive that it's impossible that there is not at least one being out there that loves you. That love is complex and is something that not only brings you joy, but peace and growth. Fujin knows that this will take time for you to understand, let alone get used to.

Along the way your relationship with fujin developed and grew, while you still felt broken, you also felt the itch that comes with healing. And while it was frustrating, it was also rewarding. Soon you realized you did love again, it came so naturally you didn't think twice. You fell in love with fujin, because fujin loved you in the same way. Working together, fighting alongside each other, it felt as if you and fujin had been together for centuries. The moment you two realize while holding hands in a tree relaxing, it was unceremonious. Because the moment you two realized, you shrugged it off because it just felt right. And sometimes love is just so mundane you could only ever realize it until it was gone.

Scorpion/hanzo hasashi:

The grandmaster knew how you felt, although for him it was more of what he lost, unlike you who had never known. Hanzo once thought he could never love the same way he loved harumi, satoshi. But then he met you, destiny had made your paths cross. Another shirai ryu trainee, who excelled quickly. But hanzo could sense that your passions burned steadily like eternal embers, never catching flame.

For what he had loved and lost, he found anew in growing his clan back from the ashes. But for you, you needed to tended to, your flames stoked and sparked into fire. For fleeting moments during times of meditation together after training hard, you felt a flame of admiration for grandmaster hanzo become more than one has admiration for a master. And for hanzo hasashi, this feeling was mutual.

Perhaps the heated kiss he started during one training session was inappropriate. But you returned the feeling, this warmth you had sparked something in you. When hanzo pulled away apologizing, you missed the warmth of his body, the meaning behind his lips against yours. You knew then and there that this fire kept you alive, for the first time you felt alive. And maybe it was the adrenaline of sparring, maybe the sudden shock of your master kissing you. But you didn't care to overthink, you threw yourself back into his arms and returned the kiss. To others this looked almost fairytale like, but to the two of you? You were just relieved to find a place of belonging. Regardless if these feelings developed further, the passionate love you shared during the moment was very much real.

(Hope you're doing ok anon! Remember to go easy on yourself and take things one at a time. And love isn't defined like in the movies, its a complicated thing to describe what love is since it can be many things at once)

[thepurplewombat]

Character headcanon ask: LXC + JGY!

Okay, so it's finally cooled down enough that my computer has stopped making distressed noises whenever I turned it on, PLUS! we even have power for a few hours today, so here goes:

Lan Xichen

Sexuality Headcanon:

I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't give a lot of thought to characters' sexuality, at least not in terms of having headcanons for them. In my head, LXC is probably some flavor of bi, except that in practical terms, he's A-Yaosexual.

Gender Headcanon:

I think I've read one fic where LXC was actually a woman - not in the sense that he any flavor of trans, at least that was not the impression I got, he was biologically and emotionally a woman, but he was presenting male because of Political Reasons, and I thought that was quite interesting. But in general, I think he's a cis male.

A ship I have with said character:

Oh I don't know, I just don't know, who could I possibly ship the incomparable First Jade of Lan with - it's Jin Guangyao. Like, I'm not going to say that xiyao is canon and everyone who disagrees is wrong (even though they are) because everyone is allowed to be wrong on Beyonce's internet, but any version of Lan Xichen that isn't in love with Jin Guangyao is a Lan Xichen who is so wildly out of character to me that I just don't know what to do with him.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think he'd get along really well with Jiang Cheng as friends - like, among the reasons that I don't think they work as romantic partners is that I think Lan Xichen would find being in a relationship with JC utterly exhausting. As a romantic partner, you feel somewhat responsible for managing your partner's moods, in a way that you don't necessarily feel the need to do in a friendship. I just think that the distance of a friendship would give him the opportunity to enjoy Jiang Cheng's cunty tendencies and temper, while not making him feel in any way responsible for managing Jiang Cheng's moods.

A NOTP I have with said character:

That being said, Jiang Cheng is not actually my NOTP for this character. I remain convinced that chengxiyao is a viable ship that just needs the right story to take off, and I'm sure that if I were to read a really good x!cheng fic, where Jin Guangyao is not demonised or erased, I would probably enjoy it.

No, my NOTP is Nie Mingjue. Mainly because I think he's an abusive jerkweed who reminds me of both my murderous ex and my late father (although to be fair to the Great Old One, he never tried to kill me) and I don't think that someone who is incapable of understanding that maybe other people have different priorities and points of view, is a good fit to be in a relationship with anyone who doesn't precisely share his values.

Oh and also Nie Huaisang. Just no. NOPE.

A random headcanon:

Not long after the end of canon, Lan Xichen disappears from his house of seclusion and is never seen again, because he's given the entire jianghu the middle finger and fucked off.

General Opinion over said character:

When I finished the book he was my favourite, and I was initially drawn into thinking more about Jin Guangyao because I was looking for stories where Lan Xichen has a happy ending, and a lot of the time, a happy ending for Lan Xicnen requires a happy ending for JGY as well. In the months since, he's been somewhat supplanted by JGY - it's not that I love him less, it's that I love JGY so much more (send help I am genuinely unwell about Jin Guangyao).

More general opinion - I think Lan Xichen should have the opportunity to go absolutely feral.

Jin Guangyao

My lovely boy, my sweet cheese, my rotten soldier, I love him so much.

Sexuality Headcanon:

I mean, canonically he loves both a man (LXC) and a woman (QS) so, bisexual?

I do think he has a complicated relationship with sex, because of his mother's profession and his father's...everything, but I think that like most of his traumas, he pushes it into a box and never ever thinks about it.

Gender Headcanon:

I think that when he was a small boy, his mother went on her knees every day and thanked all the gods and ancestors that he was a boy, because at that point she must have still hoped that JGS would come for them.

So I don't think that JGY has ever actually thought about his gender beyond 'thank the gods I wasn't born a girl'. Like, he could never allow himself to even consider anything other than being a man, because he was his mother's son, you know?

A ship I have with said character:

Xiyao. They're just so *clenches fist* I love them, your honor. Like, they just so obviously love each other - it's more obvious in CQL, but it's not exactly subtle in the novel either, and I just...my heart breaks for them and I love them so much.

I can also be convinced about Chengyao, because I think that Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao have got some things in common, and the ways in which they differ are very complementary.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think that he and Wei Wuxian could have been great friends, if the stars had aligned properly.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Obviously it's a free internet and everyone can do what they want, but personally I can't ship my blorbo with someone who tried to murder him three times and hated him so much that even without knowing that JGY had killed him, he became a fierce corpse and escaped the grave to come after him. Just nope.

A random headcanon:

I don't think that JGY would have left the temple that night. I think he was genuinely trying, because at base he's an engine of survival, but honestly I think when push came to shove and he had to leave Lan Xichen and never see him again, I'm not sure he would have done it.

General Opinion over said character:

I love him. he's my favourite character in MDZS, and he's near the top of my list of all time favourite characters.

[goodolreliablejake]

I can't believe we're doing this again, but...

Fusion isn't sex. Even if there are suggestive dance moves, fusion isn't sex. Even if there are discussions of consent, fusion isn't sex.

Fusion is a versatile symbol encompassing a variety of different types of relationships. Fusion does not thematically represent only one thing. It is a metaphor and understanding it requires understanding the circumstances behind each instance. Fusion relates to intimacy and consent, but it's a way of talking about those things without becoming explicit in a way that would be confusing or inappropriate for children.

The "fusion" characters represent the types of relationships that different characters have with one another. In its debut episode, Giant Woman, fusion straightforwardly represents teamwork. Pearl and Amethyst have trouble getting on the same page because of their clashing personalities, but when they do it's beautiful and powerful, and their love for Steven is something they can always agree on.

Sugilite and Sardonyx both represent how Garnet holds the team together, but how relying too much on her strength and maturity is a trap for the rest of the team, who need to avoid codependency and not put Garnet on a pedestal.

Garnet herself represents a stable, long term relationship. Are Ruby and Sapphire in a constant state of sex-having? That idea no longer resembles anything in our world, and it's a result of interpreting a symbol too literally.

I think the closest that fusion comes to being about sex is "Alone Together," the first appearance of Stevonnie, and even then it's subtle and the more immediate metaphor is of romantic relationships in general. The more experienced Crystal Gems have all had romantic relationships before, and adolescent Steven is just starting to understand that space, but it's still awkward and confusing for him. Connie and Steven discover that they have this powerful chemistry that allows them to fuse but by episode's end they come to the conclusion that they aren't ready for that type of relationship yet. They acknowledge their romantic feelings but decide that they are happy as they are, that their friendship and safety is more important, and that there will be plenty of time for that later. They check in with one another throughout the episode about what they are comfortable with, and the villain of the piece, Kevin, is someone who doesn't respect their boundaries. How is that not a good message for kids?

All of which is to say, I don't think Stegg is weird. What kind of relationship do Greg and Steven have? They bond over their shared love of music, they have goofy fun, and occasionally share heartwarming life lessons. That's all Stegg is.

At most, Garnet spreading her legs in the last moment of her dance with Amethyst is a "getting crap past the censor" joke for adults. And I just think the themes, the meaning behind it all, the value in the show is more than just that.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Can you explain in detail how Hinazumi are the perfect catalysts for each other's character developments?

//Ok, so I really just mean this in a context outside of DR2, because the actual potential is never really explored. The number of canonical interactions outside of the FTE's that Hajime and Mahiru have is actually fairly minimal, but here's how I see it.

//If you don't take this post at face value...that's fine, I don't expect you to. I'm just explaining how things look from my perspective on things.

//From Mahiru's perspective, her own problems originate from the fact that she grew up pretty lonely and has a very skewed idea about how people are supposed to act based on their gender. The reason why she's so harsh towards most guys is because she sets very high expectations for how they're supposed to act; usually to be tough and to protect girls, and she thinks that men and women need to have some sort of symbiotic relationship. But this is a VERY problematic mindset due to the things it makes Mahiru say and do. She snaps at boys for even the smallest slight and berates them, meanwhile she would probably let Hiyoko get away with murder, and never calls her out when she's horrible, even towards people like Mikan.

//This is different with Hajime. In Mahiru's Free Time Events it's pretty clear that whether you see it as romantic or not (Mahiru DOES confess to Hajime at the end of her island mode, but putting that aside) Hajime describes how he feels "not a single atom of awkwardness" at the suggestion that they would carry on their relationship after leaving the island, and Mahiru promises to give him her old camera, something that matters to her a lot based on the dialogue.

//In a post-DR2 setting, Hajime is the one guy who I think can calmly give Mahiru a reality check and berate her on her own unfortunate quirks the same way she does to most people, WITHOUT earning her wrath. Mahiru trusts Hajime, as shown in the FTE's, and it's not the same kind of forced trust in others that Danganronpa does normally where it's just through the power of friendship. They're hesitant to call each other "friends" at first because of Mahiru's high-strung look at the world, but the fact that in spite of that and how she initially sees Hajime as unreliable, she still puts her faith in him, trusting him with things like her camera and Nagito's food. And the reason is because she thinks he IS reliable, she just doesn't outright say it.

//So in that manner, Hajime is a good catalyst for Mahiru to sort of...simmer down and face herself, to figure out what's wrong with her and what she can improve. Especially when Hajime had to do that to literally save all their lives at the end of DR2. I think she would be inspired by that.

//Then there's how it is from Hajime's perspective, which actually takes a lot of this ^^^ into account.

//By all intents and purposes, besides Nagito (which even then is debatable) Mahiru is the closest thing to a "normal" person in Danganronpa 2. Her talent as a Photographer is brought up a lot, but aside from that and her own ideals, she's just a really normal girl who relates to Hajime in a lot of ways. So in that regard, I can see them being close initially.

//Hajime's big issue post DR2 is having to cope with the enormous weight that he bears on his shoulders. Not only is he now the de facto leader of a group of ex-terrorists, and holds himself responsible for their actions, but he has so much trauma to cope with. Including, but not limited to, Chiaki's death, his actions in causing the tragedy, having been the one to corrupt the program in the first place, and also being primarily responsible in the goal to redeeming his squad, as well as the fact that he now has infinite Ultimate talents, can do anything, and now needs to figure out what he's going to do about THAT.

//Hajime signed himself up for all of this and he's more than willing to live with his choices, but he feels he has to basically having to cope with the belief that he's one of the biggest piece of shit guys in the world, and is also a veritable god. Two things that Mahiru KNOWS he's not.

//As I said already, Mahiru TRUSTS Hajime for the kind of person he is naturally; a guy that she can depend on. So when Hajime thinks he's not worth it, or when he thinks he's a problem, it then becomes Mahiru's job to be there for him and remind him that this really isn't the case.

//I don't think I really point this out enough, but there's one very important thing about Hajime and Izuru that sets them apart. Both of them have infinite Ultimate Talents, and because of it, struggle to find excitement in anything they do in their lives, because everything just comes naturally to them. But Hajime has been able to overcome this problem, and it's for one key reason: He's doing it with his FRIENDS.

//We can kind of see this in the current arc with Izuru's own brand of character development now that he's in control of Hajime's body. Hope's Peak erased Hajime's personality from the ground up to remove any emotional weaknesses that his personality would have, leaving Izuru as a blank slate. But now that Hajime's gone, Izuru is spending time with the likes of Chiaki, Akane and Mahiru, and he's actually DEVELOPED as a result. He smiles when he's with Chiaki, he enjoys spending time with her, and he's very charitable towards the others even though he sticks with a stone face. He's becoming less of a force and more of a PERSON thanks to spending quality time with Hajime's friends.

//Hajime has lifelong friends by his side, and the Remnants are so close they're basically a family. Isolation is his WEAKNESS. Without his friends or some sort of companion by his side, Hajime is just left with that boring reality that he's good at everything and there's no excitement or joy in his life. The source of that excitement comes from doing things TOGETHER with the people he cares about.

//And Mahiru KNOWS this, since her ideals about men and women that Hajime would help her work out of comes from that same isolation. Growing up, her mother was mostly absent due to being a war photographer and out of the country all the time, her father didn't really take care of the house, her, or himself, and her only good friend growing up prior to Hope's Peak was Sato. She's also, supposedly, been cut off from a lot of people because of her talents as a photographer, even though she herself is a fairly normal person.

//Mahiru knows what it's like be lonely, and she knows what it's like to be seen for your talent and nothing else. She's probably the ONLY one who understands Hajime's specific circumstances of having so much pressure on him and not feeling like he can share it, and that's not a fate that she would wish on him. Which is why she's the perfect person to help him through it.

//Honestly, it feels stupid that I ever thought anyone other than Mahiru could be Hajime's girlfriend for this specific series.

-Mod

[neeterloveschenford]

More Thoughts on Tim Bradford

Woo boy! Are we going through it right now fam! I know that there has been a lot of discourse and negativity about Tim breaking up with Lucy last night. And while I truly believe that everyone's thoughts and feelings are valid, I'd like to put mine out there into the void on why I'm going to stand by both my boos even if I feel like the rug got pulled out from under me last night. So here we go......

The thing is, I get where Tim is coming from. Real talk here, my late teens and early twenties I was a mess. While I never went through what Tim went through when he was in the military, I understand that self-loathing he has struggled with for so long. I came from an abusive and neglectful family and still bear those emotional scars. I acted out and rebelled and did things I am not proud of. My family ended up intervening and my aunt and uncle took me to Arkansas to live with them. And then spent over a decade reminding me at every turn how big of a screw up I was. I remember thinking that I would never become a better person and that I was tainted for the rest of my life. Several years after I moved there I decided I wanted to get involved with the girl's ministry at my church and went to my pastor. I told him that despite all of the missteps I had made in the past, I wanted to become more involved with the program and hoped that he could look past the things I had done. My pastor was floored that I thought those things about me. He had actually been thinking about asking me if I was willing to become the director of the program. I had never had anyone make me feel like I was a good person before. It was life-changing. I began to believe that maybe I wasn't an epic failure. I ran that program for two years and during that time I re-connected with my family in Oklahoma. My mother and I had never had a real relationship and after we re-connected she told me she was proud of me. I eventually moved back home and now am quite happy with my life. But it took a really long time and a lot of self-reflection before I got to this point. And honestly I still have my days where I just feel like I'm still that messed up girl. But I have a support system with my mom, my step-dad, and my sisters that reminds me that I am worth it and that I am loved.

So I totally get where Tim is coming from. I don't know how many romantic relationships and friendships I tanked because I thought the other person was too good for me. Tim hates himself for putting his pride in his career first. He believes that his men died because of him. Because he wanted to protect his career and his reputation as a leader. He feels like Lucy is this good and honest person who would never put anyone else at risk to further something as small as a career. I mean she put her own career at risk just to help his. He thinks that her love for him will be her undoing because Tim doesn't believe he is worth the effort. God, it's breaking my heart just thinking about it. Of course, he's wrong. Lucy loves him so much that I think this will almost break her. But he has to realize his own value and worth. He will never get there unless he pushes forward and realizes how much the people in his life love and respect him.

And Lucy's not wrong to be angry at him. He is supposed to be her partner and he is, once again, making all the big decisions in the relationship. He decided that he's not what she needs in her life. While we have seen time after time that he is all that she needs. Tim needs to realize that Lucy's love is different from every other person that has ever loved him. It's unconditional. She doesn't care about his past mistakes. She loves him no matter what and believes he is the best man she knows. I know that one day he's going to have that ah ha moment like I did and see that his past doesn't define his future and he doesn't have to pay for his mistakes for the rest of his life.

Tim also reminds me of two of my all-time favorite characters from the last two fandoms I participated in on Tumblr. Oliver Queen from Arrow and Michael Guerin from Roswell New Mexico. They were both extremely flawed men that finally realized that they deserved their happily ever afters with the loves of their lives. But the people they loved helped them realize just how precious their lives really were. And guess what? Both Oliver and Felicity and Michael and Alex broke up. But they found their way back to each other and got their happily ever afters. So don't give up the faith my friends. Chenford is going to find their way back to each other. I refuse to believe they are any thing other than endgame.

[arabriddler]

On the subject of Ed and Kristen:

I feel like with Ed's relationship with Kristen, it was like he was studying for a test and she was the elusive "A+" he was aiming for. Through trial and error, he looked for ways to get her and once he did he was happy... but also quite anxious since an A+ can soon turn to an A- or B very easily. I think this anxiety was most apparent in the episode he killed her in, with him eavesdropping on the conversation Kristen was having with Lee, then taking that information and adapting to it, trying to be more dominant and forceful, all to keep his "A+". This was, at least from my point of view, a very materialistic love, based on what Kristen could do for him. Even when Ed talks about what he can do for her, it's less "I can make her happy" and more "I can make her grateful (to me) by making her happy". Then the moment he told her about Daughty and he felt like he'd lost his "A+" he killed her.

I feel like all of this stems from Ed's low self-worth. He focuses more on what his partner can do for him rather than the reverse because he doesn't believe he has much to offer in a romantic/friendship sense. This is validated by his environment, other characters calling him weird, trying to avoid him, constantly enforcing the idea that there's something different/unpleasant about him.

When he meets Oswald, something starts to change. Oswald helps him realise his self-worth over time and highlights the qualities he is able to bring to a relationship. By the time s4 comes along, he has a firmer grasp on these things and uses it to try and engage with Lee (which doesn't work because of her only being interested in Ed as a tool, not a boyfriend, which I mean fair enough, good for her, we love s4 Lee). And then, in s5, when he and Oswald become partners in the submarine build, it's clear that Ed recognises his own worth as well as Oswald's when it comes to the relationship (romantic or otherwise). They may bicker a lot, but when under stress, it's clear what Ed really thinks (killing Penn during the Scarface incident because he does value Oswald, staying to protect Gotham because it's important to Oswald).

Anyway.... I just think it's so interesting to watch and I love where Ed ended off on this arc. Do you have any thoughts?

oh hey I like this. You’re so right. I’m remembering the whole Isabella arc and when Ed insisted that “ love is about sacrifice. It’s about putting someone else’s needs before your own.” He has this understanding of love that Oswald doesn’t really follow. Kind of like, Ed learns it by the book and Oswald learns it by passion, his own feelings. kind of makes me think that most of his love is performative and he does fall somewhere in the aromantic spectrum

[rav-rabies]

Hi Fi Rush Headcanons/ideas: pt 1 Heroes

got a few ideas bouncing around mostly just backstory stuff I wanted to write down to clean up my head and thought I'd share.

Pt 2

Possible trigger warnings: discussions of family fights, age gap relationships

Chai

Sun sign: Cancer, Moon: Sagittarius, Ascending: Sagittarius

Is smarter than he lets on

Grew up in a small town and got himself into trouble because there wasn't much else to do.

Never knew his father. He left home to pursue his dream of being a Rockstar and disappeared.

Chai created an idealized version of his father. Wants

Majored in Business as his mother wished but negotiated to study Music Theory as a minor. Got mostly A's and a few B's.

Quit school after being discouraged by an asshole professor and because he wanted to live his own life on his terms.

Couldn't find work after dropping out because ableism and struggled on disability payments.

Peppermint

Sun: Sagittarius, Moon: Capricorn,  Ascending: Virgo

Was an invitro baby and was conceived around the same time as Kale.

Roxanne and her husband had been separated for three years when there was an accident at the treatment center Peppermint's zygote was stored in. Roxanne was relived one of her zygotes survived and she and her estranged husband agreed to bring the child to term.

Her father died when she was barely a year old so she never got to know him.

Has a small tattoo of two intertwined violets on her back to represent Sapphic love.

More interested in environmental science and politics then robotics but was supported by Roxanne as both fields a line with her worldview.

Is planning on returning to school soon after her mother gets everything back on track at Vandelay.

Macaron

Sun: Libra, Moon: Taurus, Ascending: Pisces

Spent his vacation reconnecting with his old friends outside of Vandelay.

He was that kid who took things apart. His parents were great though and supported his interest. Just they made sure to redirect his curiosity towards lest destructive

First learned about Roxanne when he was finishing collage and wanted to become a part of something bigger. He was drawn to her ideas and drive.

Korsica

Sun: Virgo, Moon: Scorpio, Ascending: Aries

Had not been working at Vandelay long before Chai came along.

Had a tentative "friendship" with Zanzo due to both being bottom of the social hierarchy.

Has zero interest in Chai and Peppermint as romantic partners. Though that can change for peppermint. Her age is the only hurtle really. (NOTE: I do love this ship and have no problems with age gaps in shipping or sometimes irl. But, as someone in their thirties, I feel comfortable saying that we're not as inclined to date younger unless we're kind of immature like Zanzo or said 20 something is really chill.)

CNMN

CNMN doesn't need headcanons from me he's perfect as is.

Roxanne Vandelay (Heads up she gets Rose Quartzed a little)

Sun: Capricorn, Moon: Sagittarius, Ascending: Aquarius

She values altruism above all. She believes the purpose of creation in both science and the arts is to better the world.

Also values hard work and sacrifice, not to insane levels but again to the point she lacks some sympathy for those

Has a hard time accepting others as driven as her. She isn't actively mean but she's not very understanding of those with different values.

She and her husband both wanted to create a better world and fell in love while working for it. After Kale was born Her husband became devoted to his son. She believed both still/would support her vision and spent as much time with her family as she could and hoped love would be enough.

It wasn't. Overtime her son grew to resent his distant but caring mother and her husband grew sad and frustrated.

Arguments started and the rift got too big for anyone to ignore. She left.

After her husbands death Roxanne found herself a CEO of a rapidly growing company and a single mother to an unruly teen who just made a strange new friend.

[starlightandetherealshadows]

I just want to lead by saying ultimately I'm not the one writing so I don't truly care, you can and should do what you want. I just wanted to share some input because I have experience with poly relationships and also ask a question.

Why doesn't the V/Zero/MC triad poly work? If its jealousy the V-poly won't work either and if it's just V won't value or care about the MC very much a V-poly also isn't going to work long term unless the two of them never interact. V-polys in my experience only really work when everyone does love (platonic sense) and care about each other but maybe they just aren't all attracted romantically to each other or the ends of the V either just don't interact all that much or both have a large amount of emotionally maturity. Hence I don't see how a V-poly would work?

On the other hand a triad did make sense when it was framed as the MC being the one to help them open up and communicate with each other and is the one who makes that relationship work. Yes maybe V and Zero do love each other but that isn't enough to make a relationship work, they both seem to struggle with their emotions and communicating and equally they are both incredibly inexperienced with relationships. So, the MC who is presumably not emotionally stunted bringing them together and helping them communicate and handle their emotions both when getting out their feelings out initially, but also just in the relationship because none of the above is going to just change once their feelings for each are out there makes sense. Without the MC they would and should struggle a lot with a relationship because neither of them currently has the EQ or experience to handle the problems or tensions that might occur especially in what is no doubt going to be a stressful situation. Hence why having the MC be the one who helps ensure everyone's feelings, needs, and desires are heard, respected, and valued makes their role in that relationship clear and the value they bring to it clear and means that while yes V and Zero's relationship is different from the MC and Zero's or the MC and V's the relationship as a whole works in a way it fundamentally couldn't without the MC. And yes maybe eventually when they are older and more mature V and Zero would've gotten together on their own but as they are it doesn't make sense for them without someone there to help them through it because again neither of them has the experience or EQ to handle that if they did they probably would've been in a relationship by now.

Just a side note sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes I did spell check but I'm bad a catching those things.

Honesty boils down to Veronica/Vincent not being able to romantically love MC.

I’ve played around with different dynamics that keep V in character and it wasn’t working.

Zero doesn’t know that V has romantic feelings for them. They’ve been friends for 8 years; both of them think the other only sees them as a friend. Neither wants to “ruin” what they have by shaking that table.

What drives them getting together isn’t MC’s arrival, it’s the overarching plot that happens in those 15ish chapters (MC can help speed it along though).

V can have platonic affection for MC. It takes longer to get there than the others, but it is possible.

Is it the healthiest? No, I wouldn’t use it as an example of a healthily formed relationship. But it’s what we’ve got.

I didn’t like writing MC as the only reason V and Z are able to function as a couple/romantically. Some people like to be the mediator, but that sounds exhausting for a MC who has a main goal of staying alive rn.

Zero in particular is much more emotionally mature than I think you’re giving them credit for; they’re quite open and communicative. But again, they value their friendship too much with V to risk it (before the events of the plot)

In a triad, MC would always come second and it wouldn’t be genuine to call it a triad knowing that V doesn’t have the emotional capacity to romantically love MC.

In the v-poly, regardless of MC and V’s friendship of rivalry, both will compromise and find some level of common ground.

They don’t have to like each other, but they will come to respect the other’s relationship with Zero. It’s not a perfect V-type relationship, but unless there’s another terminology close to it, that’s the best way I can describe it.

Z and V will figure out their relationship problems, or they won’t. It’s their romantic journey, they don’t need anyone, MC included, to really fix things between them. Part of growing up is fucking up, you know?

They’re adults that, V in particular, have to either suck it up and address their issues or let it destroy something they care about.

So in a debate as to whether to keep the v type poly or eliminate both Z and V as ROs, I chose the v poly.

It’s 12:30am and I’m like incoherent and exhausted but I hope this made sense

[t4transsexual]

t4t masterpost

im gonna make a whole post with definitions, misconceptions, ect. of being t4t for anybody who this may aid later.

what is t4t?

being t4t or transamorous as a trans person (i wanna see the term transamorous used more often by t4t people tbh) can mean a number of different things, and it doesnt have to be limited to sexual/romantic encounters either.

the general definition is being a trans person who either prefers to or exclusively forms any kind of relationship with other trans people, especially romantic and sexual relationships. for some people, being t4t applies only to romantic and/or sexual relationships, for others, it can extend to friendships and even professional relationships (ie. preferring a trans therapist). though, youre more likely to see t4t people who being t4t only extends to romantic or sexual relationships, and maybe platonic as well.

being t4t romantically/sexually can mean a number of different things. it can mean that one may prefer to date trans people but wouldnt be opposed to a cisgender partner. it can also mean that that trans person only seeks out relationships with other trans people, but if one with a cis person manifested itself, they may not be opposed. for others, myself, the t4t is non-negotiable, and we ONLY form relationships like that with other trans people; some of us dont even feel attracted to cis people anymore for trauma reasons or the like.

what reasons would a trans person have to be exclusively t4t?

theres plenty of different reasons, but they mostly boil down to the fact that its just safer to date/form relationships as a trans person if theyre with other trans people. yes, theres plenty of trans people who are horrible partners, but in my experience from dating trans people vs cis people, the trans people ive dated had each had unique issues that contributed to the end of the relationship, and none of these issues had to do with either of our genders. however, with the cis people ive dated, it was like a pattern. they were always weird about me being trans, they were always transphobic in some sort of way, and they always believed that they WERENT transphobic because they were willing to date a trans person. and im not the kind of person to do the same things over and over and expect a different outcome.

DISCLAIMER: i mention several times throughout this post that dating trans people as a trans person is generally safer/easier than dating cis people. i do believe this, but you can still be abused and hurt by trans people. my trans ex girlfriend tried to kill me. being t4t doesn't guarantee safety; its still your responsibility to notice red flags and react accordingly. stay safe out there!

you can still be hurt by a trans person, but youre much less likely to run into hangups about gender, transition, and personal values regarding being trans if you date trans people. youre generally not going to run into someone with a savior complex because they date trans people, or someone who will emotionally manipulate you when you call them out on their transphobia if you just date trans people in the first place.

what does being t4t look like?

any trans person can be t4t. there are many gay trans people who are t4t, and many lesbian trans people who are t4t. theres trans bisexuals/pansexuals who are t4t. people on the aromantic/asexual spectrums can also be t4t. there are straight t4t people, like me. these relationships can be monogamous or polyamorous; theres are polycules of exclusively trans people.

for many, being t4t is a conscious choice. being transamorous isnt a sexuality, its a preference. many transamorous trans people can feel attracted to cis people, but may not want to form a relationship with them on the basis that theyre t4t. attraction isnt consent.

isnt t4t just like being a chaser?

i wont deny the existence of trans chasers who happen to be trans, but trans bodies arent a fetish. yes, there are people who fetishize trans bodies, but this isnt every person who is attracted to trans people (and yes, this includes cis people) because we arent abnormal. trans people are perfectly natural, and attraction to trans bodies (even those that are that are pre/non op!) isnt a deviancy, its normal.

the idea that attraction to trans people is a deviancy and not the norm is inherently transphobic, and many trans people internalize this rhetoric, and develop trust issues around dating or having sex. the "wrong body" narrative can be true to some, but it isnt true to everyone. i personally wouldnt want to be cis, and many other trans people feel this way too. attraction to trans bodies is normal, because trans bodies are beautiful.

then what IS a chaser?

a chaser is a person whos attraction (and therefore acceptance) of trans people is dependent on them fulfilling a certain role. many chasers dont view trans people outside of pornography, and so they have a warped idea of what a trans person is. a chaser isnt defined solely by their attraction to trans bodies, because EVERYONE is attracted to trans bodies. they are instead defined by their behavior towards trans people. more often than not, because chasers don't interact with trans people outside of a pornographic lense, they dont see trans people as human, or really as anything beyond an idea to get them off. a relationship with a chaser is often degrading, one sided, and controlling. many chasers dont want their trans interests to get certain gender affirming care, such as hormones, or surgeries.

if youre a trans person who cant tell the difference between someone who isnt opposed to dating a trans person (cis or trans), and a chaser, there are definitely things to look for. the main sign that youre interacting with a chaser is that you may feel degraded just by interacting with them in an intimate way. chasers are known to do that.

transfemme tops and transmasc bottoms

many people have called me a chaser when i (st4t) have expressed that i prefer to date transfemme tops. ill go ahead and explain: im straight and a bottom. i just happen to date mostly trans women. im not seeking out transfemme tops because theyre trans tops, im seeking them out because they align with my sexuality and transamorous preference. i also dont have a genital preference, and transfeminine people can have vaginas.

now that thats out of the way, remember that there are many different ways to have sex, even as a trans person. some transmasc bottoms dont use their natal genitalia to bottom, some transfemme tops dont use their natal genitalia to top. there are many different ways to top or bottom for somebody, no matter what genitals are involved. many trans women use strap ons to top, for example. hrt can also alter how our genitals work.

final note

t4t trans people arent chasers, and t4t is, imo, the safest way for a trans person to date!