#venting makes me feel guilty

[lovelyrockstar]

i love to draw ocs during school while having a shit ass day. makes me feel good. but???? im still having a shit ass day and i still feel bad????? jot like. "oh i did something now i feel bad" like "oh i feel terrible physically and mentally and im scared whats gonna happen next"

venting in tags a little bit kind of ihhuuh

[sunlit-mess]

noticing in your vents—

is your sister okay too?

We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.

[angelpuns]

Pretty sure my parents think I'm a heartless freak but like idk what I'm really supposed to do about that-

[stuckinapril]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

[rileys-battlecats]

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

[dreamgirlnightmare]

Moral ocd: no we can’t kill this bug. All life is precious and it’s wrong for me to kill them just because it’s inconvenient for me

Contamination ocd: they are infesting everything. You have to kill them and throw everything out. Disinfect every inch. Don’t eat any food. You don’t know what’ve touched

[years-n-feather]

My weird relationship with the She-Ra franchise

[bonefall]

Did you man beam Drizzle? If so, why not just pair up Rustle with Cranberry instead? I get for the amazing ship name but I'm curious about the choice /gen

I totally forgot Drizzle's original gender, but also, I really don't want to overthink it. I'm so tired of overthinking it. I wanted CranberryDrizzle funny ship name and it was getting exhausting to plan out where every pairing in several hundred cats would be getting their kits from

Rustle is going to die at some point after having two QR kittens, and Cranberrydrizzle is going to have 2 important litters (Sunstrike and Emberfoot in the first, Fernstripe in the second). I have done an exhausting amount of work (weeks of planning and hours of work at a time, scouring the wiki and facebook screenshots, redrawing tangles, reading through suggestions, writing out full posts of changes and creating new groups with their own histories) untangling broken fragments of family trees and like... I'm tired. No more shuffling. I deserve Funny Ship Name. is this too much to ask

Boy Drizzle is just the easiest answer. I'd like for Drizzle to just be transfem but I was also told to avoid cats being trans just to have kits, which is ALSO frustrating me at this point, I don't like this weight of "perfect representation" that's being put on me when I'M not even perfect representation as a living human queer.

Do I let Drizzle be transfem and "break a rule," or change them to a boy and "lose" a lesbian pairing? It feels gross to me to have fallen into a mindset where I'm treating queer relationships like quotas or rigid rulesets

I feel like if I 'get something wrong' (like forget the gender of a Missing Kit or a side character, or handwave 'where did these kits come from' with 'trans/queen's rights' without considering a real secret surrogate) I'm going to get smacked upside the head and be forced to hyperfocus on one small part of a massive project when I already have a million other things to work on.

So unfortunately the most honest answer I can probably give is that im tired. I'm really tired. Overthinking minor details before making every single tumblr post is draining me. I forgot the missing kit's original author-assigned gender and didn't scroll to the bottom of Onestar's wiki page to check it before posting. I like the ship name. Cranberrysplash somehow gets pregnant twice, but I was told to avoid trans bioparents, yet doing that is making things even harder after I had to do weeks of work to make a good tree in the first place

I'll figure out Drizzlefall's gender when they become relevant in some context

[vshusband]

It makes me feel like trash sometimes

[psi-spectacular]

he has. some complexes

[wren-writes-things]

So like two days ago my mother was giving me a lengthy speech. And I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be one of those moments where I come to a meaningful realization about the importance of family, recognize that I’ve been valuing the wrong things in life and then somehow simultaneously move back to my tiny rural hometown and become a wealthy doctor/judge because anything else is beneath me.

Except one of her earliest points was word for word “friendship doesn’t last,” and then something about how family is eternal. And my brain immediately jumped to Amphibia and I spent the rest of the call trying not to laugh because all I could think was about how terribly ineffective a hivemind of my ancestors would be.

[angelpuns]

Nothing like writing a vent post after realizing how horrible this life decision I've just made is only to delete it because its making me feel worse :D

I delete it and try really hard to forget :D

[cutiecorner]

Bwaagh im feeling not good tonight. Want some dadfred n babybat :( maybe jus alfies... if any1 got headcsnons for alfie as a caregiver plssss send em. My special guy..

[prick-love-for-arting]

... Mhm

[protosstar]

.

[eclaire-went-bam]

morals are so confusing sometimes. it's not like i'm trying to do anything malicious, it just doesn't occur to me that most people see these things as bad — to me, some things are just kind of a means to an end and if nobody gets genuinely hurt idrc ??

if i let someone borrow something and they're not giving it back, i don't really see anything wrong with telling a lie about the importance of that item to guilt trip someone into giving it back (eg, so & so gave this to me before they died & it's rlly important to me so i really would appreciate it if i got this back soon ...). not because i want to go outta my way to make someone feel bad, but that's just how i view the world. they are probably maliciously keeping my stuff, so just talking to them wouldn't be enough. so why shouldn't i?

i don't see an issue in hacking into my parents email so i can get the verification code for a family streaming service, it takes me a really long time for it to click that actually People Don't Like Someone Going Thru Their Private Stuff even though i'm not trying to find anything but the verification email

type of things that i don't really realise could genuinely upset someone until i think about it a lot and ask someone for their opinion. i could realistically just ask and communicate better, but i often fall into the pit on never relying on anybody to do something when i put a task in their hands. that will only end up hurting or disappointing me.

oftentimes in trying to watch my own back and keep myself safe from nonexistent problems, i somehow create them