#very weird to make your own drama for two companies that have never interacted

[bottomseareef]

I find it weird that people are treating the Watcher situation like a scandal when it was just bad business decision

Don’t get me wrong an INSANELY bad business decision but why would you compare it to the Try Guys situation? Like some people were acting like Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara themselves evicted them and took their dog

[myherowritings]

PART 4. HOW THE RICH SUCK THEIR OWN DICKS

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.9k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. enji makes an appearance bleh, enji being classist, enji...ew, okay i swear most of the chapter is shouto and y/n being cute though 

A/N. ngl i have genshin brainrot real bad at the moment but i still have motivation for ceo!shouto and ceo!shouto only u.u there are only 7 parts to this series so we’re at the halfway mark already AHHH i hope u enjoy reading and lmk what u think!! :3 xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

Shouto’s day went from good to bad faster than it took to pull an espresso. 

It started off with a good morning text from you and having a brief, but pleasant, interaction at your work. Actually, the past few weeks have been going along a similar routine that he found himself settling into all too comfortably. You even upheld your promise of stealing him away one weekend to walk around the park, get food, and just have time to relax and be happy for once. 

Getting to be in your presence almost daily became so normalized in his life that even some of his employees heard about the cute barista with the best pastries. Yet, although he saw you often, he found himself wanting to talk to you more and more.

But for now, Shouto told himself to settle with starting the mornings off with you. They were the best mornings he’s had in a while and he didn’t want to sound ungrateful. 

Today, however, went sour fast after he heard his father was coming up to the top floor for a meeting with him. He didn’t find the idea of Enji visiting to be the most abhorrent thing, but the moment his father opened his mouth, Shouto quickly took that back. 

As expected, his father reminded him about the annual charity gala Todoroki Enterprises was expected to attend. Handfuls of galas ran through the year, but the once hosted by Naruhata Industries under the guise of raising money and awareness for the charities of choice.

In theory, a charity gala ball sounded humanitarian and a way for the upper class to give back, but in reality, most of the funds collected didn’t go to the actual charities, instead they went to paying for the venue, live bands, entertainment, the most expensive catering, decorations, and more. What presented itself as a charitable event in the eyes of the public was really a way rich people could flaunt their wealth and feel good about themselves for doing absolutely nothing to benefit society. A way for the rich to suck their own dicks, if you would. 

Shouto absolutely hated it. 

It was also a press opportunity and, in his father’s eyes, a way to gain public favor for the Todoroki business. Today, Enji attempted to tell him that bringing a date that fit the mold of high society was the best way for him to establish rapport through media coverage. Apparently, the image news outlets have placed on Shouto were either a heartbreaker and playboy with no care for other’s emotions, or a monotonous stoic who seemed like a robot with no care for other’s emotions.

In either cases, there seemed to be a theme of Shouto not caring for others. 

He sighed. 

“You can’t keep that image, Shouto,” said Enji with his arms folded across his chest. “If the media sees you with someone—a nice girl with a good upbringing—then your likeability will increase tenfold. If there’s no one you like, I’ll have to set up a date for you.”

For a while, he was torn between telling his dad to fuck off and trying to do as he said to keep peace within the family. But then, an image of you popped into his head.

“Actually, there is someone I like.” 

Enji narrowed his eyes. “Oh? An educated girl with wealthy parents?”

“There’s someone I like,” he simply repeated, the tone in his voice growing cold. 

He didn’t know anything about your upbringing or family nor did he exactly care. Shouto didn’t want to bring a date to the dumb gala, but if he had to, he would want it to be you. Only if you agreed, of course. But if you weren’t willing, then he had to face the facts that his father would most likely force a date of his own choosing upon Shouto. 

“That’s good you like someone, son,” Enji said through his teeth, “but we have to make sure it’s not some sort of...loose woman. That’d be even worse publicity—”

“I like someone and if you really cared about my happiness like you said you did, that’d be enough.”

There was a tense silence in the air. Shouto didn’t have enough fingers to count the number of times Enji had told him and his siblings that he would try to be a better dad. A caring dad who only wanted what was best for his children. A better husband for Rei. A better example for the public. The first few times, Shouto believed it. But Enji said the same things over and over again with no lasting change and Shouto was just fed up. 

After hearing the same lie told to him over and over again, it seemed to lose its weight. He seemed to lose his hope in his father ever changing.

Still, Shouto had to deal with him for as long as he lived. That much he knew as a son living in this society. 

But he hoped Enji at least had enough guilt to let him have this.

“Fine.”

Shouto blinked in surprise. 

Enji stated, “If you think your date can help your public image and not be a complete embarrassment to the business, you can bring them.”

That was the closest thing to approval Shouto would get today. He nodded and listened along to whatever else his father had to say, the only thing actually on his mind was thinking about how he would ask you out on a date to some stuffy gala. And hope that you’d say yes.

— ✩ —

“Wait, so, let me get this straight— You’re the CEO of Todoroki Enterprises and even after almost two months of knowing you, I had no clue?”

He inclined his head, looking solemn. “Yes, I’m sorry. Are you upset with me for not telling you sooner?” 

Initial shock aside, you couldn’t say that you were too surprised at the revelation. You knew Shouto was wealthy and probably in some high-up position in the business industry, but you never knew to what extent. A CEO? That had to be the highest rank in a company! And a company as well known as Todoroki Enterprises? 

The thought made you a little nervous. The guy you slowly befriended over the course of short cafe visits and silly texts was Mr. Todoroki? Or worse— The guy you stole away from doing work for a whole weekend was someone as busy as a CEO? You internally groaned. That had to be against laws of the universe or something. 

“I’m not upset, no,” you said with a shake of your head. “I just...can’t believe it I guess.” Eyes widening, you were quick to amend your words. “Well, I can believe it. You seem very intelligent and well-put together and, uh, rich! But I guess I just didn’t think a CEO would be so funny and kind.” You winced. “Oh no, is that mean to say?”

“I don’t think it’s mean.” He shrugged. “You’re right to say most people in this field aren’t known for their delightful temperaments.” 

You absentmindedly drummed your finger against your thigh, trying to process this new information. “So you’re Todoroki Shouto...and you want me to be your date to the Naruhata Charity Ball?” 

“Yeah. I know it’s a huge favor to ask, and I promise you can say no if you choose,” said Shouto in earnest. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to agree.” 

With a hum, you stretched your legs out under the table before crossing one over the other again. It was a Saturday afternoon where you had no work and Shouto managed to escape from his for a few hours of the day. You took him to your favorite ice cream place nearby and the two of you ate at a dining area outside the establishment. 

Just a mundane day as two friends hanging out with each other where you found out one of those friends was the chief executive officer of a billion dollar business headquartered in Japan. 

Totally normal, everyday occurrences, obviously. 

“And you need a date for this event?” you asked. In all honesty, you would be more than happy if Shouto asked you out on a date. He was fun and you enjoyed getting to know him. But these particular circumstances made you a tad bit more nervous.

“I normally wouldn’t need to bring one, but my father insists it’d help my public image and in turn the image of the company.” With a pinched look on his face, he took a bite of his ice cream. “In other words I bring a date or he picks one for me.” 

You weren’t the most caught up on super rich people drama, but it was almost infamous how estranged the Todoroki family was. Again, you didn’t know much but you did know enough to say that Todoroki Enji seemed like a Class A asshole. If you could help Shouto out with his weird dilemma, you saw no reason not to. 

“So this charita gala is like where they have those live auctions and silent auctions and get tipsy on fancy wine and champagne for hours right?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Yeah. Have you attended one?” 

“Not quite,” you said with a sheepish smile. “I’ve volunteered at one in school though. As one of those runners? It was fun. I got a bunch of those tiny complimentary candies!” Your mouth watered at the memory. “What kind of drug were in those candies? I’ve never had candy so good before!”

“The tiny, circular candies with the excessively big wrapper? The fruity ones?”

You shot up in your seat, excited he knew what you were talking about. “Yes! That’s the one!” 

The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. “I always see those at these types of events.”

“So… The candy will be there at the gala you want me to accompany you to?” 

“Most likely.”

“Can I take a bunch of those from candies there…?” you asked with an optimistic grin.

“I’ll be your accomplice in sneaking them out.”

“It’s a date!” you said before Shouto could get another word out. 

You’d be reunited with those yummy, fancy candies you’ve been separated from for far too long. What other reason did you need to agree? 

With a determined look on your face, you held your hand out for Shouto to shake to seal the deal. 

He blinked. “Wait. Did you want to discuss it some more? Maybe have a few days to think it through? I’m grateful, of course, but I don’t want you regretting anything.”

“No. I won’t regret it. I’d do anything to taste those candies again.”

Shouto looked unsure what to say. “Isn’t there some parable warning people not to be bribed by candy?”

“Not to take candy from a baby?”

“No. Not that one.”

“That’s the only one I know.”

“Never mind then.” 

The two of you exchanged confused looks before letting out fits of laughter. You weren’t sure if either of you knew exactly what the other was laughing at, but the moment was an enjoyable one nonetheless. 

“Yet another reason to bring me to that fancy event— I’ll make sure you’re entertained all the way through,” you playfully bragged, smoothing down the front of your shirt. 

“The event will definitely be more bearable with you there.” He licked a small bit of his ice cream from his pink spoon, making a sound of approval. “But you can change your mind about coming at any time, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” you said, holding a pinky out. “Pinky promise.”

With what seemed like a bashful expression on his face, Shouto extended his own pinky to interlock yours. You sealed it with a kiss and a heart, like you were a kid again. 

“Now, am I supposed to be in love with you at the gala?” you asked nonchalantly, finishing off your last bite of ice cream. He offered you a spoonful of his and you tried not to grow too flustered at Shouto feeding you his dessert. You murmured a quiet, “Thanks.”

He gave you a small smile. “You’re welcome. As for being in love… I don’t think that’s necessary. Just pretend you like being around me, I think.”

Under the table, you nudged his shoe with yours, pulling a face. “I don’t have to pretend about that, silly.” 

“Ah, well,” he paused, offering you another spoonful of ice cream, “I don’t either.”

“I’m glad.” Then, “Is this strawberry? I was never a big strawberry ice cream fan but for some reason this tastes so good.” 

You ignored the nagging voice in your head that said maybe it wasn’t so much the ice cream flavor but who you were enjoying it with. 

The two of you finished his dessert in peace and after cleaning up the area with a napkin, Shouto turned to you with an intent look on his face.

“Before the gala, would you mind if I talk you shopping so you could pick out what to wear?” he asked. “I would pay of course— It’s the least I could do to say thank you.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me! You’re my friend and I want to help.” You thought about it for a moment. “And get the candy.”

“Anything for the candy.”

“Exactly,” you said in complete seriousness. “But I wouldn’t mind going shopping with you. You could help me decide what to wear! I’m not exactly sure how to dress for an event as fancy as this.”

“You could wear anything to the event and still look amazing.” His words were ones of flattery but his tone sounded completely genuine. 

Heat rose to your cheeks at the compliment. “Look who’s talking— You’re practically runway ready no matter what time of day.”

“I’ve never walked a runway before.”

You stifled a laugh at his literal interpretation of your words. Cute. “Me neither.”

He looked confused at why you were grinning, but it still brought a smile to his own lips.

By now the sun had begun to set and Shouto was walking you to the train to see you off before you went home.

“Can I pick you up next weekend in the morning?” he said. “So we can get your outfit for the gala?”

“Sure! I’ll text you my address.” 

He nodded in contentment. “And again, you don’t have to worry about any costs.”

“Is this why my friends have called you a sugar daddy?” you teased, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked down the street, side-by-side. “But thank you. Shopping will be fun— We can even match colors!” 

“Mn.” He looked between the both of you, as if trying to picture what colors would complement each other. 

You crossed the sidewalk in a comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery by Shouto’s side. A few times, you even felt his knuckles brush against yours and you had the undeniable urge to hold his hand. Would that be weird? you asked yourself before deciding against it. 

Just because he asked you to be his date for the Naruhata Charity Ball didn’t mean he actually liked you, right? It was just a favor from a friend to a friend.

Something about that though made your stomach unsettled. Maybe part of you wanted it to be a real date— Wanted this to be a real date. 

“So I won’t be seeing you tomorrow,” you said after a moment’s silence, trying not to look too dejected. 

You knew he’d still text good morning and good night and ask you random things throughout the day (all of which you found really endearing, by the way), but it was still different from seeing him in person. Even though your time together in the morning was small, they still were enough to make your day. The thought of your waking hours being so entwined made you nervous, but for some reason it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. In fact, it was sort of...nice. 

“I’ll see you Monday morning, right?” you asked hopefully, though you were already fairly certain of the answer.

Shouto nodded. “Of course. It’s already marked on my calendar.”

“Ever the flatterer, hmm?” 

“Not flattery, just the truth.” He pulled his phone out and showed you his (rather packed) calendar app. To your surprise, a little reminder that said ‘See Y/N :)’ was marked on his Monday schedule. 

Unable to stop the beam from spreading across your lips, you hid your face in your hands. Gosh— Did he have to be so cute? He was making it harder and harder to only like him as a friend. And even now, you weren’t sure if you liked him only as a friend.

But you pushed those thoughts away.

That was something to deal with at a later time.

When you reached the train station you normally took home, you turned to Shouto, giving him a big hug. He was tall and warm. You could feel his lean muscles through his button-down shirt as you rested your head against his chest and arms around his waist. 

“Thanks for today,” you mumbled. “I’ll see you again soon.”

After a pause, he gave you a hug back, hands rubbing hesitant circles on your back in a way that made you smile. “Text me when you get home safe,” he said as you both reluctantly released each other from an embrace.

“I will,” you promised. “You do the same! Later, Shouto!” 

And with that, you waved goodbye and boarded the train, unable to shake the unwavering grin on your face all the way home.

a/n: when shouto started feeding y/n spoonfuls of his ice cream i cried (Ｔ▽Ｔ) that’s so cUTE OF HIM LIKE PLS SIR STOP BEFORE I FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH U !! >:O he’s such a sweetheart ahhhh,, i hope all the fluff made up for the brief appearance of endeavor ಠ╭╮ಠ  FHDJKF 

what to expect in the next part:

shopping for the gala time !! 

y/n struggles with their fEeLiNGs~ part 2

oh my, y/n has to try on dresses? oh my, it’d be a shame if they needed help putting it on :o *fake gasp* 

yeah things get just a lil steamy but shh

[jaemsun00]

Nct mark + 00 line when you give them an unexpected blowjob.

This is mature, do not interact if it make you uncomfortable. Exhibitionism acts.

- MARK

It was almost midnight and Mark was still stuck at the company room at the desk, writing whatever words came to his mind. You sat a fair bit away on your own chair, spinning around tiredly. He has told you, you should go home and go to sleep but you refused to leave him alone.

“This is so fucking annoying” you heard him swear, before ripping the paper out of the book, scrunching it up and failing to chuck it in the bin right beside his feet.

Just as you were about to say something a very interesting idea came to your mind. Mark has admitted that he has been feeling very uninspired to write any of his lyrics lately. Maybe he needed something to get the inspiration back.

Slowly walking towards him, you planned it out. It was going to be simple and Mark would not dare to say no to what your thinking.

Mark snapped his head when your hand touched his shoulder softly. “Let’s do something” you smile weirdly at him and he did eyes you. “I would love to but I have to finish this by tomorrow” he motioned to his book.

“I can help you” Mark tried not to let out a laugh when you said that. It’s no secret that your not talented in that area. “To get inspiration I mean” you scoff seeing how he was hiding his laughter. “Oh yeah? How you gonna do that?”

He was oblivious to your plan which made it seem even better. Mark was taken back when you spun his chair around and slowly dropped to your knees in between his legs. “Like this” you smile up at him, seeing how he gulped when you two made eye contact. he lifted his hips for you to slip his pants down and get right to work.

- RENJUN

“It’s very pretty” you smile at the painting Renjun has been working on the past two hours. You’ve barely been awake two minutes and he was forcing you to see all the drawings he has worked on lately. “You reckon?” He took the paper back and admired it himself.

“Mmm. Now can we go to beddd” you whine, hands resting on his desk as he shook his head. Ever since you’ve woken up with no boyfriend beside you, you’ve been whining to him about it. “Go by yourself” scoffing, you stood tall over his sitting figure.

“Renjun” he hummed as a response making you a bit more mad. But why not play with him a bit. “Renjun” you try again in a more sing song voice. Your boyfriend still ignored you. Thankfully the desk he was working on was easy to get underneath, yeah you hit your head once but who cares.

Renjun was a bit weirded out with you crawling under the table, but he wasn’t expecting your hand rubbing at him through his pants. “Baby?” He groaned out, pushing his chair back to see you smiling up at him. “Your just gonna-“ “okay I’m going to bed.” You say getting up, but Renjun was faster to grab onto your wrist. “You can’t leave. You’ve started something” “if you come to bed then I’ll finish it” your smile was so cunningly that Renjun couldn’t say no and followed you back to bed.

- JENO

It was funny, seeing how normal Jeno was trying to be while talking through the headset with Haechan. But you continued your task, bopping your head up and down on his length. “Go le- fuck left” your boyfriend tried to hide his moan. Haechan must of said something back because Jeno told him to shut up.

“I kicked my toe” he lied through his clenched teeth, just as you planned you took him in your mouth fully, gagging a bit. That just made Jeno want to cry out. You’ve never done this, never have you thought you would be doing this. But here you are, on your knees and giving your boyfriend a blow job under his desk.

“Okay I’m gonna- I’m gonna go” he stuttered before quickly taking his headset off and placing it on the keyboard. His head dropped down to see you doing your task. “Fuck you look so pretty” he smiled, hands running through your messy hair, making a make shift ponytail as his hips bucked into your face. Taking you by surprise.

- HAECHAN

The only reason why you were waiting under your boyfriend desk was because of the stuff you over heard him and some of his mates talking about. How he would love to get head under the desk while he played a game on his computer.

“I’ve got food” you heard his voice before the door opened, Hacehan saw the empty bed and sighed. Thinking maybe you went home already with how long he was taking. Just as he was about to take his phone out, he saw you shift in your spot under the table.

“What are you doing?” You crawl out of the small spot, facing Haechan who looked so confused right now. “Well I was- I was going to surprise you with... with-“ you felt so stupid having to explain it. Hacehan had no clue what was going on in your mind.

“With? Scaring me?” You shake your head, god how you wished someone would come in and save you from the embarrassment your about to face. “I was going to suck you off while you played the game” you mumble but Haechan heard it all. Quickly smiling at your words.

“Oh really?” You could hear the teasing smirk he wore but you couldn’t let him see how red your cheeks have turned since admitting that. “Well what’s stopping you? Get back under” he waved his hands towards the desk and started walking towards it. “Your? Uh” you let out a nervous laugh.

“Don’t say your getting shy now, come on you said you wanted to” he smiled so innocently at you as he sat on his gaming chair, leaving a space for you to crawl back under. “The food will go cold” “who cares. I don’t want blue balls”

- JAEMIN

“What are you doing?” Jaemin laughed as your wondering hands made their way to his thighs. He was just peacefully laying on the bed, laptop propped up beside him as he watched some sort of drama. “Nothing” you lie before your hand starts going further up to his cock, rubbing lightly before he grabbed at your wrist.

“You have work soon” he warned as if that was going to stop you. You nod, trying to move your hand again. “Your going to be late if you start it up” he looked down at his pants which were loose around his waist. “And? It will be fine”

Jaemin wanted it tell you no, you had a job to do and last time you went in late your boss threatened your job. But as soon as you started peeling his pants off, the words in his mouth disappeared. But your mouth, your mouth was now full with him. Eyes never left his own as you licked his tip.

“Your- fuck that feels good” he moaned out, hands running through your hair and playing with it as you worked on him. Jaemin felt himself grow hard and big in your mouth and gosh it felt too good not to lift his hips to get more friction.

- YANGYANG

He has spoken to you about this before, how it would be amazing if you gave him head as he played a game. Being bored all day you decided today was the best time to do it. What you didn’t expect was YangYang to have his mic on.

So he would just have to be quite. You usually sat on the floor studying as he played his games. So he thought nothing of it as you moved closer to his legs. The shorts he wore giving away how he wasn’t wearing any boxers right now. He had no plans so it didn’t surprise you.

“Nah nah I work fair and square your just a bad player” you have no idea who he was insulting, nor did you care. Yangyang stopped moving when he felt you prying his shorts off. It was hard as he didn’t lift his hips, giving up on trying you just pull his member out.

“One second” YangYang spoke, muting himself before staring down at you. “What are you doing baby?” He laughed as you started moving your hand up his shaft. “Nothing much” you shrug as if you weren’t making him harder in your hands. “Turn the mic back on”

Yangyang widened his eyes at you, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t think the boys want to hear that” “just do it” your eyes tell him he should listen. So he does, clicking the mute off and getting back to his arguing members.

You licked the underside did his length before shoving him whole in your mouth. Yangyang stuttered his words as he tried to focus on playing. But it was rather hard when you were blowing him right now. “Holy fuck” he let out loudly, his members thinking maybe he died in the game.

- SHOTARO

“Please” he begged but you ignored him again, laying on his lap as he tried to push you off. “Your my personal pillow so no. I’m not moving” you whine back at him, moving your head on his lap as he just sighed, letting you win this time.

The movie he watched continued playing as you turned your head, meeting his crotch and a smirk grew on your face. Shotaro clearly didn’t know your thoughts even when you moved to your side, so your face was met right where his dick rested.

“Are you hungry?” He asked innocently, pulling out his phone so he could order. “I’m very hungry” you say sensually but your boyfriend was oblivious to it.

“What do you want? Chicken? Or-“ “you” you spit out making him laugh awkwardly. “Yeah well I’m not edible so-“ you scoff at him, hands running down his stomach, feeling how he shivered every time your hand got closer.

“Right here? Sungchan will be back soon and I’m sure he-“ “it’s fine baby we just need to be fast” Shotaro didn’t know why his dick was growing at your words. Does he want to get caught? While he was in his thoughts you were pulling him out of his briefs. Already getting started with your hand.

“We can always go into your room?” The boy shook his head, lifting his hips so he could push his pants down to his ankles. “Just let’s be fast” you smiled at his words. You always get what you want either way or another. “I’m sure we will be very fast”

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[leamy-world]

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 9 & 10)

It’s been a while since i’ve last been on tumblr, but i got invested in this drama every week & the fandom’s analyses to not talk about it sometime! (Last time i was hooked, it was with Beyond Evil and i watched it by the time the finale already aired so i didn’t suffer from the weekly wait!)

So here i am, this is mainly self-indulgent with essay-long interpretations of some scenes in a totally random order, but i’d love to interact with whoever reads this if they want to react!

I’m sorry for the potential awkward phrasings, english is not my first language!

- The recap was nicely done and tied everything together, it made me realize so many things happened since the beginning! The repetition didn’t make me skip it, the narration was dynamic & fun.

- The ‘power display’ & threat Yohan showed to Soohyun (by lashing out at Juk Chang and strangling him, as proxy for Soohyun, in front of her while staring at her) were something …! She answered in the same fashion, passing by him saying she will ‘arrest Juk Chang’. I wonder how their next encounters will unfold.

- Many people already pointed this out, but Soohyun’s decision to leave Elijah, a minor, alone in her car (with its doors open, daring to tell her to stay there when she has no other choice anyway) + stop the gang alone and unannounced off duty was irresponsible. Anyways, i wonder if she will interact again with Elijah because they were adorable, i would miss it!

- The conversation between Soohyun & Gaon at his apartment (ep. 10) was interesting on both parts: 

It sounded casual, but Soohyun wanted to see where he stood in the Kang family and make sure he wasn’t in Yohan’s plans (i hope she didn’t seriously mean the ‘weird’ comment about Elijah, it’d be sad since Elijah enjoyed her company!).

Gaon was anxious professor Min told her about their last conversation (i think she’ll talk to him in the next eps). He also indirectly defended the Kangs by associating himself with them (« I’m pretty sure i’m just as weird ») and voiced his concern about Yohan, speaking more to himself than following the conversation at hand. 

When Soohyun changed the subject with the ‘i’m jealous’ bit, maybe it was to brighten the mood with a light-hearted comment, hoping Gaon would follow. And by the look of her pause right after, it seemed she was also expecting GO’s ‘positive’ reaction to her jealousy, giving in to the kind of teasing/flirt they have in their friendship. But deep down, it was also to voice her true unease about Gaon’s involvement with Yohan she had since the beginning and ep. 8. 

It’s obvious to us she meant she was jealous of Yohan. And GO could’ve understood it this way too, since she confessed to him multiple times and her feelings must be known to him (i think he takes it as a ‘joke’ given how many times she confessed and each time when he was crying, so maybe he thought, very reasonably, it was to cheer him up? I also guess he’s too absorbed by his current worries about the Kangs and her potential suspicion, to notice her attempts). 

But instead of that, he’s not in the same line of thoughts at all and picks up on the « rich », musing on what makes one’s existence rich, thinking Soohyun was envying Yohan’s position and life and proving her he’s indeed in a whole different world, empathizing with Yohan. 

She then looked like her face fell, until her eyes lit up again when he was about to admit she was precious to him along with his family.

By the way, this scene picks up right where we were left off in ep. 8, when Gaon tends to his plants:

« - Are you back for good? - Not really. They need some looking after. - You should come back, not drop by. This is where you live. - Someone there needs some taking care of too. - Take care of your own self, please. - What about me? I’m living a shamelessly comfortable life. Soohyun. - Yes? - What are you thinking about? - Nothing. By the way, Gaon … » (i wonder what she was going to say!)

Lost in thoughts, Gaon’s mixed emotions when he said Yohan was not rich (« he’s not rich. If you get to know him, Kang Yohan is really poor. ») were very well depicted by Jinyoung’s acting: the soft voice and the ghost of a smile that convey understanding and endearment, leaning on his counter in a relaxed stance, but also at the same time the stare lost in the space, maybe to all the memories tied to the Kangs and Yohan, and the tension in his left lip corner by the end of his sentence which betray his sadness and empathy with Yohan’s life. After this, when he became aware of Soohyun’s gaze, it’s like his bubble popped. He looked surprised with his eyes widening, and was fidgeting a little, then changed the subject to himself.

And « I have you, Soohyun » sounded truly grateful but also sad and conflicted, GO lets his worries show when she’s gone, maybe wondering if they would be bound to be against each other one day as he continues to side with Yohan, menacing to jeopardize their friendship to the point of no return. In these kinds of stories you expect these kinds of twists, but i grew fond of the cast send help

- I loved how Yohan’s confession to GO about his brother was filmed: the camera faced head-on his pain, slipping unbeknownst to him through the façade he always showed to protect himself. But this time, despite his (late) attempts to dismiss these feelings both for him and Gaon to regain composure (the hand gestures to hide his tears, pretending to be tough with the  « there’s no such things as innocent people », drinking away his sorrow with a bitter laugh that rings hollow), all this façade fades out in front of Gaon literally by being blurred out in the shot, as if he clearly sees his pain through (his silhouette appearing clear-cut between Yohan’s gestures). I know it’s a pretty classic shot but it fit well with this scene. He clenches his jaw in the next shot, moved by Yohan opening up. 

- The dinner scene was really moving …! Especially when you put the colder tones the kitchen had when we first saw Yohan have dinner by himself next to this scene, full of light in contrast! I wonder when the OST playing will be released, it was so beautiful and reminded me of My Mister’s OST (especially Rainbow!). I look forward to the lyrics, because most of the time the OST gives more layers & depth to the story and the characters! (please don’t let it be about Yohan’s budding feeling of a true ‘home’ ;;) I didn’t realize it upon my first watch, but Gaon really took the cutlery hostage, it cracked me up!

- The parallels in this show will be the end of me: Yohan went from the « i’m so sick of this place » (ep. 5) to asking K to drive him « home » with a delighted smile. 

- I liked the parallel of Yohan’s reaction to GO/Sun-Ah sitting in his office chair, impeding on his space (he reminds SA to stay out of it, the first time politely, the second time almost grimacing, his jaw clenched: « Just because you’re the head of the OSC doesn’t mean you can barge in like this (…) So please stop barging in like this. », while he says nothing to GO)

- At the beginning of ep. 10, we have Yohan saying he doesn’t like «  hanging out with people » & by the end of it, Soohyun saying « My childhood’s best friend is hanging out with a rich guy ».

- These two episodes gave more insight and nuance into Sun-Ah’s character, which was very nice ; and also Cha Kyung-Hee’s comeback (and her last confrontation with Sun-Ah!!!!)

- The people following Juk Chang also targeted sexual minorities according to the subs i had, i wonder if it will be addressed again sometime in the drama. 

- I loved Elijah’s « hacking » technique scene, i felt proud too! I always look forward to her scenes (and Kkomi’s too haha)! And her reaching out Gaon’s shoulder for the first time ;;

- The ‘humans lose their minds when they think they’ve lost what they have’ ……… repeated twice by YH ………… It will hit hard and all those lines will come right back at us viewers, but i’m not prepared haha! And also for the ‘if you want revenge, don’t hesitate’, i hope it doesn’t foreshadow a future revenge Gaon will execute without hesitation aaaaaa

Also, what lawyer Ko said about himself in ep. 8 may apply to Yohan’s case by the end, will he atone for what he did someday? (« I’m no longer a lawyer. I’m just a criminal. When all this comes to an end, I’ll pay for what i did. »)

- I really loved Yohan’s efforts to take into consideration both Elijah’s (he refrained himself from acting rashly like the last time she went out and listened to her) and Gaon’s feelings (stopping him from endangering himself recklessly, not forcing him onto the revenge path lest he’d regret it afterwards, and helping him to face the truth rationally). 

- « She’s hungry for affection. No matter how much you hate the world and the people in it, you can never live alone. You always need someone to rely on. As long as you’re a human being. » Many people commented on it, Gaon must speak from his own experience and empathizes with both Elijah and Yohan’s situation. These two episodes showed how Gaon cares for the Kangs more openly, and i live for it! 

- Give me that domestic scene where Gaon plays cards with YH, the nanny and Elijah! And also more K and lawyer Ko scenes!

- Jinjoo’s and Gaon’s intervention in the trial were gold! And Satie’s Gnossiennes rearrangement playing in the background during Juk Chang’s speech, it’s the cherry on the cake haha

- By the way, there was also an arrangement of Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2 during the first charity event Yohan went with Jinjoo in the earlier episodes, it was also beautiful!

- GO’s Awkward Smile. I have no words, it is now forever imprinted on my mind.

Have a nice week and take care!

[ayybtch]

Alcoholic Juice Box

Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Adulthood sucks. You know what doesn’t suck? Blanket forts and alcoholic juice boxes.

Word count: 1,773

Warnings: Liberal use of the word ‘fuck’ and variations of the word ‘fuck’, brief mention of financial troubles, brief mention of crappy friends and family who are too focused on their own nonsense to care about the well being of anyone else, alcohol mentions and some alcohol consumption at the very end.

A/N: This maybe got a tad personal and self indulgent (oops). Before anyone asks, yes this was my actual stress response. I’m not proud of it but it worked! 😂 also, a very special thank you goes to the lovely @kellyn1604​ for giving this a quick read for me 💕

A Mutual Weirdness Masterlist 

Bucky sighed in relief as he finally sat down in the back of the Quinjet. He, Sam, and Steve had been on a mission nonstop for the past twelve days tracking down Hydra agents. His whole body ached and he was desperate for some normal human interaction. Specifically, he was desperate for normal human interaction with you. All nonessential phone calls or text conversations had been prohibited, so it truly had been twelve days of uninterrupted Steve and Sam. Normally they made for great company and he enjoyed being around them. But now? Now Bucky was almost ready to never see their faces again. He thought on multiple occasions during the mission that all SHIELD trainees should have to endure Sam’s singing for hours on end as a part of their hostage training. If they can survive that with Steve’s occasional attempts at harmonizing, they can survive anything.

Once the Quinjet was in the air, he took out his phone and sent you a quick text saying they were on their way back. Not even a minute later, Bucky’s screen lit up with an incoming Facetime call from you. His heart surged at the thought of seeing you hours before he initially expected to and answered without a moment's hesitation. The smile written on his face fell as soon as he saw you.

You looked terrible. The exhaustion he felt after twelve days of work suddenly seemed like nothing compared to the exhaustion written on your face. You tried to smile at him, but the smile didn’t fully reach your eyes. Bucky’s gut twisted.

“Doll, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice dripping with worry.

You tried to nod yes but burst out in tears instead. The tears kept coming and after a few minutes, Bucky really started to worry.

“When you feel ready, take a couple deep breaths for me. Tell me what’s going on so I know how to help.”

It took a few minutes, but your tears started to slow and your breathing began to even out. Bucky smiled at you reassuringly as you took a few deep breaths before starting to talk.

“Bucky, I’m so sorry. You’ve been on a mission and here I am crying before you even had the chance to say hello,” you said, wiping away a stray tear rolling down your cheek.

“These past few days have just been really hard. Well, the past couple of months really, but everything’s starting to hit me all at once. School sucks, I can’t believe they’re allowed to charge me what they are. College is stressful enough as it is, why does paying for it have to be challenging too? I work thirty hours a week during the semester and over forty during breaks, yet I still can’t afford to go to school without taking out student loans. It’s bullshit. On top of all of that, I still have my regular bills to pay too!

“And as if financial stress isn’t enough, my family and friends have all decided that this week was the week to start up as much drama as possible…” you trailed off and a new round of tears began.

Bucky’s heart broke as he watched your body shake with each new sob. He desperately wished it was his hands wiping away your tears instead of your own.

The tears ended a little quicker this time, but the sadness didn’t quite leave your face as you started to speak, “My family is fighting over something stupid and using me as the go-between because I wasn’t there when the argument started. But at the same time, they’re bitching at me for ‘never being there’ when it’s their own fault for not inviting me!

“My friends are also upset that I don’t have the time to see them as often anymore and are bitching about that. One of them is freaking out in particular because she thinks she’s about to be dumped, while another is complaining about how much she doesn’t like being married because now her mother-in-law expects grandbabies. I’m fucking tired of everything and everyone.”

Bucky waited to see if you were going to continue before he spoke. “Doll, I am so sorry. That’s a lot to handle all at once. What can I do to help?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think there’s much you can do, Bucky. I just let things build up too much and they all exploded at once.” You paused for a moment and let out a bitter chuckle, “This whole adulting thing is a load of garbage. What a fucking scam. I can’t believe I ever wanted to grow up.”

Bucky couldn’t hold back his laughter. Before he could say anything though, you spoke up again

“You know what? Fuck it. I’m done being an adult. I’m going to go do something childish and ignore all my adult responsibilities.”

Bucky snorted. “Oh yeah? What childish thing are you going to do?”

You pondered for a moment, eyebrows furrowed together as you considered your options. Bucky could see the lightbulb go off in your head before a smug smile crept up onto your face. “I’m going to build a blanket fort. Nobody expects adult things from someone who’s hanging out in a blanket fort”

If you hadn’t looked and sounded so serious, Bucky would’ve laughed again. Instead, he just nodded and smiled.

You weren’t amused by his lack of enthusiasm. “Oh c’mon, are you really telling me that a blanket fort isn’t the obvious solution to my problems?”

Bucky went to reply, but you cut him off with a gasp as a look of pure joy swept across your face. The joy soon transitioned into a look that screamed pure chaos. Bucky suddenly felt nervous.

“I’m going to go to the store and get juice boxes before I start. The blanket fort was a brilliant first step in my ‘Fuck The Scam That Is Adulthood’ plan, but the juice boxes -” you mimed a chef kiss “- are the icing on the cake.”

“Juice boxes, huh? That one’s a little surprising,” he teased. “Do you want me to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to go along with that? Or maybe you’d like some fruit snacks?”

You smiled devilishly back at him, “Well, it needs to be an alcoholic juice box though. That’s the one part of adulting I do like, so it gets to be the exception.”

This time Bucky didn’t even bother trying to hold back his laughter. “I’m not sure anything describes you better than an alcoholic juice box.”

“Agreed. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go buy myself some juice boxes, make the blanket fort of my dreams, and then hide in it whilst pretending the world doesn’t exist. Come over as soon as you’re home and ready. Bring some food with you!”

The call ended abruptly and Bucky stared at the screen in disbelief for a moment before he chuckled. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, wondering how he ended up with someone as beautiful and crazy as you. He was still worried of course. Everything you had mentioned that was contributing to your stress was a lot. He fell asleep trying to plan out how to help you and what he could do to help keep things from being bottled up for this long again.

Three hours and a hot shower later, Bucky found himself walking up the steps to your apartment with food from your favorite Chinese restaurant in hand. He unlocked the door and made his way in, kicking off his shoes by the door.

“Doll, it’s me. Where are you?”

He heard you giggle slightly before calling out to him, “I’m in my room.”

He made his way back towards your room and his feet froze before he was fully in the door. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. You had built the most massive blanket fort he had ever seen. Fort was no longer the appropriate word to use; it was a blanket castle. He knew you were chaotic, but this...this was an entirely new level of chaotic, even for you.

Chairs from the living room and kitchen had been brought in as support beams, packing tape was being used to hold up one side of a sheet against the wall, and couch cushions were arranged to create a small tunnel as an entrance to the fort. The empty bed frame suggested you had even moved your mattress onto the floor for the sake of this damn fort. Once the initial shock wore off, he crouched down and carefully crawled inside.

Every pillow and cushion in your apartment was inside the fort with you, along with the few blankets that somehow hadn’t been used in the fort itself. You were curled up under your comforter with a bottle of wine in hand.

“I have to say when you said you were building a blanket fort I certainly did not expect something this big.” He leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss to the forehead as you giggled at his surprise.

““That’s what you get for underestimating my fort-making abilities,” You took a long sip of wine straight from the bottle before handing it to Bucky.

“I commend you on your taste in juice boxes, though I’d hardly call this a box.” he teased. He held up the bottle and looked at it closer before adding, “You also seem to have drunk most of it already. Guess I should have brought my own.” He estimated there was barely enough wine left to fill half of a glass. You sat there and shrugged.

“I’ll have you know I did consider getting a boxed wine to be more authentic. I decided against it though because that one’s harder to casually drink from. But bottle, schmottle - it’s a minor detail at this point. As to your astute observation about that one being almost empty, there are two more in the fridge. You can go open one up if you’re wanting some,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “The far more important concern right now is if you remembered to get extra egg rolls. You know how much drunk me loves egg rolls.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before dutifully reaching into the bag of takeout that had been haphazardly pushed to the side and pulling out three orders of egg rolls. A happy squeal and a quick peck on the cheek was all he needed to think that maybe your approach to adulthood wasn’t half bad.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[sanchoyoscribbles]

Yu-gi-oh! SR! (short for sidereal)

I’ve been talking about wanting to make a ygo fan series for a while on my main and I finally did 🤟 here’s the protagonist and her rival! I’m putting their profiles and the info about the series under the cut because it’s kinda long, even tho I tried to stick to just the basics 💀

⏳ Yunori Aokawa ⏳

⏳Age 22

⏳Deck theme: Wind attributes, lots of winged beasts. Her ace is ‘grand meridian quaver’, an angelic looking monster with a scythe and eight wings. (At some point I’ll come back and design these girls ace monsters for real…)

⏳ Our protagonist! She’s wanted to be a horologist forever and is deeply interested in history; in the future she’s from, a horologist isn’t just someone who studies time, but is someone who directly can observe set points on the timelines.

⏳They do this at a company called ChronoCorp (which is lowkey kinda shady…Yunori doesn’t work there long enough to notice…there’s 20 miles of contracts and NDAs, and you have to pass several hard tests to even be considered to be a new hire, so needless to say, Yunori studied Very Hard) it’s basically just people assigned historical events that were poorly documented to go and transcribe what actually happened, using tech that lets them watch it on hologram screens and pause it (basically a fancy TV…) they aren’t supposed to be able to interact with the events in any way and time travel is not a (publicly) known thing…

⏳On her first week on the job she finds a mysterious ring on her desk with a note with her name on it and assumes it’s a company gift, and while observing, she gets so into watching the duel she leans forward to the screen…and falls in! the ring seems to give her this ability and to have a lot of mystery around it, including it’s origin, and it has a recharge time, so once she’s in a certain time, she’s stuck for a while (not to mention, at the start she has no idea how it works or how to control it…) it’s called the sidereal ring! Yes this is a time travel plot. It’s very self indulgent of me.

⏳I’m not including stuff from arc v, vrains or sevens because I haven’t watched them, so they’re non canon here I guess for now? The series is a 200-300 yrs after zexal!

⏳ Yunori is a very cautious, nervous girl at the start of her adventure, determined she shouldn’t be interfering with history. She’s genre savvy and is convinced she’ll mess up the timeline if she does anything major, but over the course of the series becomes more confident and realizes she’s meant to be at the places she arrives at. She’s a huge history nerd and geeks out over famous duelists also despite having stage fright herself, she loves to see other people duel and loves to duel herself!

🎃Majo Kuromiya 🎃

🎃Age 24

🎃Deck theme: Halloween! Her ace card is a jack-o-lantern dragon called ‘boosilisk the hallowyvern’

🎃The rival character! She started entering duel tournaments in middle school to help her family because they were impoverished at the time, and by high school she was touring on professional duel circuits and had serious money. She very carefully developed and maintained her persona of being a spooky queen who puts on a show of being creepy while dueling, though she does earnestly love creepy cute things!

🎃She used her winnings to start her own company, Hallowed-Evolution. It’s the largest duel monsters costume and cosplay retailer! She’s pretty calculating because she’s been managing the company since she turned 18 to further support her family and handles a lot of PR herself. Although she threw herself into it so wholeheartedly that she never had time to make friends, which her family worries about. She’s so used to putting her persona up that it’s hard for her to make friends because she’s always got her mask up.

🎃Her and Yunori meet because Yunori lands in her time (sometime between 5Ds and zexal?) first, and because she owns her costume company and works with fabrics, she’s like What Is Your Outfit Made of. That’s not a fabric ive seen!!! (It’s Future Fabric™️) and Yunori is miserable at lying. Majo then let’s her stay at her estate trying to pry out details about the future (honestly, her first motives are to get details about the future to try and use that to grow her company…)

🎃 Yunori is a kind of awkward girl thought of as a history otaku back home so she didn’t have friends, and Majo doesn’t have any friends either, so they make a fun duo of Weird Girls and eventually grow together as people and have a full group of friends by the end. But at the start they’re both the same kind of too-focused on work types and learn to relax together 😌

🎃They butt heads a lot because Majo believes if Yunori is here, it means she was meant to be and shouldn’t be so afraid to mess up the timelines. (Majo is right, and smug about it later) Majo is also fascinated by superstitions and the occult and will casually say super morbid things which freaks Yunori out. Also, Majo is desperate to duel Yunori and beat her, because if she can beat someone who has the advantage of future cards and has studied duels as much as Yunori has, she’s convinced that’s the best victory that could be had. She also wants it to be a big showy match, but Yunori is like NO I HAVE TO STAY A SECRET IM NOT EVEN BORN IN THIS TIME YET!!! (They duel several times and yes, eventually on a big stage! Majo helps Yunori get over her stage-fright!)

🎃Majo also supplies Yunori with time-accurate outfits to help her blend in even though she doesn’t think Yunori actually needs to, and comes with her for pretty much all the adventures (Yunori accidentally brings her at first and while Majo is kind of excited to be involved, she’s more worried about her family and who will run her company, but when she gets back she realizes she doesn’t have to do everything alone because her family was reliably running it in her absence!) Her family includes her mother, her grandfather and two younger brothers (one 14 and one 10) and her mother was the one helping run the company for the most part.

If u read all of that thank you 🥺💗 I’m going to try and come back to these girls and develop more of a Plot and some VILLAINS and stuff, along with their ace monster designs…:3c I just thought it’d be fun to have a series that could go from filling in gaps of plot between the already established series, and being historical dramas the next ‘episode’ pfft. Also since vampires were established As Canon in GX I want to include them somehow. Scream Queen Majo VS A Real Vampire. I just wanted to add that 😌

[radiorenjun]

I just rewatched crazy rich asians and a sudden scenario popped up in my head lol. Can you do a nct dream reaction to you coming from an insanely rich fam but you did not tell them after years of being together (like they thought you were poor) I really like your fics uwuu💗luv youuu🥺

God now this is making me want to watch Crazy Rich Asians. Anyways.

Mark Lee

You both have been dating since your first year in college. The day you told him you were the daughter of one of the most successful people in the country, his jaw dropped. I mean, considering how you live in a small apartment back when you two were in your early years of dating.

He remembers the day your mother decided to visit the two of you to meet Mark for the first time. Your mother was a very famous and inspiring talk show host and your father was the owner of a very well known hospital. You could barely hold back your laughter when you saw him practically try to scoop his jaw back up when he watched your mother walk out of a Tesla X car.

"You're (Y/M/N)'s daughter? One of the richest people in the industry?!" Mark exclaimed exasperatedly a few minutes after your mother left. Your mother had brought over fancy seafood with some rare caviar and 24k gold pieces sprinkled on top for dinner. 'I wanted to make a good first impression' she said with a casual shrug as you all sat at your dining table.

"Uh... I wouldn't consider myself rich, persay" you laughed. "Oh my god, you're the daughter of one of the most famous talk shows in the industry." Mark dramatically collapsed on the couch, his hand came up to cup his mouth dramatically as if he just found out you were secretly an alien disguised as Michael Jackson.

"Oh come on, it's not that of a big deal, Mark." you whined, sitting beside him and shaking his arm. "Chenle is probably richer than me," you added as you placed a peck on his cheek as he sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Can I ask you something, though?" he muttered, leaning his head against yours as you leaned against his shoulder. You hummed in response, moving your hand to play with his fingers. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked in a small voice, a pout evident on his lips.

You pondered for a moment before shrugging, "I don't know, I wanted to tell you at first when we started dating but then I forgot bout it. I rarely call my parents since they're so busy," you smiled sheepishly at him.

"That explains the Rolex watch you gave me for Christmas," he uttered. "Okay, for the record, those were from my own savings!" you shot back defensively with a laugh, smacking his arm gently. "Oh so now you're bragging bout being rich," he teased.

Huang Renjun

You were both planned on going to a an art gallery date Renjun found on the internet for your two year anniversary. What you didn't know was that the gallery he was talking bout was actually one of your grandfather's art gallery. It was safe to say that the poor boy was practically trying to scoop his jaw back up when he saw the owner of the gallery he saw online giving you a big hug.

You were surprised his jaw was still intact with his face when you told him that the owner was your grandfather. He then remembered the time when you told him your grandfather really like to paint alot, hence your magnificent talent that landed you in a scholarship with one of the biggest art colleges in the country.

“So, your grandfather owns like, what, ten galleries all over the country?” Renjun gaped as you walked side by side down the halls filled with paintings after you introduced him to your grandfather. You shrugged sheepishly, staring up at one of the paintings, swinging your intertwined hands as you walked.”Does this mean you’re like rich? Crazy rich?” Renjun added.

“You’re blowing this out of proportion.” You chuckled, watching Renjun give you a blank stare. “I’m not! I’m just in shock that my girlfriend’s family are aristocrats and could end my life in a heartbeat!” he exclaimed, causing you to let out a soft laugh.

“I’m not necessarily rich like that. But I will inherit all this when my grandfather retires.” You shrugged. “Damn, I never thought I’d be dating a billionaire. This seems like an unexpected climax of a really weird movie” he muttered, running his thumb over your knuckles as you giggled.

“We’re not billionaires, you drama queen. Why does it matter to you anyways if my family’s kinda wealthy?” you raised your brow with a teasing grin, making your boyfriend let out a scoff. “It makes me seem like a peasant standing next to you, your highness,” he rolled his eyes in a sardonic tone. You laughed, smacking him lightly on his arm as you gave him a soft peck on his cheek.

“At least you’ll be my peasant.”

“That sounds like you bought me off of an auction for slavery. I didn’t know you were this kinky, Y/N.”

“Don’t make me dump you on our second anniversary in front of my grandfather, Huang.”

Lee Jeno

He really didn’t see this coming. One year and seven months ago, you seem like the average college student joining sororities to not spend as much money, like he did. You seemed like the average broke college student, spending your days eating cheap ramen from the supermarket, making chocolate truffles with a coffee maker and trying out those Buzzfeed videos where they make three full course meals using house hold items.

Hell, even your friends didn’t know bout this. Well, maybe they did. But nothing would prepare Lee Jeno the absolute shock he was bout to feel when he found out that you and your older sibling owned a really fancy five star hotel that seems only celebrities went to. Hell, you even had your own personal presidential suite and an infinity pool!

“How did you even get money to pay for all this?” Jeno gaped as he entered the room, putting his bag on the chair beside the door that looks as if it costed more than his own life. It probably did, though.”Uh...” you bit your lip as you heard a loud booming voice yell out your name.

“Baby sis!”

Jeno’s eyes were wide and filled with surprise as he saw someone who could’ve been mistaken as the president’s child come up and give you a big hug and a pinch on the cheeks. “Is this the Jeno you’ve been talking bout to mom and dad? Quite the charmer, I’d say,” your sibling grinned, as Jeno stretched his hand out and introduced himself, masking his confusion with a light smile.

Jeno politely asked who this person who had their arm slung over your shoulder and pinching your cheeks red, causing your sibling to laugh. “You really went all out with the broke college act to the point you just don’t mention your own family anymore, huh?” they laughed. Jeno was beyond astonished to find out that your parents were extremely loaded that they bought a really expensive hotel for vacation purposes just for you and your relatives to use.

Turns out you had a whole broke college student act to discover a new lifestyle out of the rich and easy one. Plus, you really liked interacting with people, hence why you joined a sorority. Jeno would eventually get over it after you explained everything, still baffled that his girlfriend had the money to pay child support for his great great grandchildren.

“Am I in heaven?” Jeno jokes as he ran his hand over his wet hair, watching you get into the tub with him, holding a fancy cup filled with wine. “Don’t get used to it, Lee. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Tomorrow it’ll be back to making poached salmon in a coffee maker.” You laughed, taking a sip of your wine as you snuggled closer to his chest.

“Good to know, nothing has changed. Despite having a girlfriend that could cover my future descendants expenses.”

“You’re really not letting this go, are you?”

“You can’t blame a man for overthinking. Oh god, the day I’ll be meeting your parents would probably be equivalent to meeting the King and Queen of England.”

Lee Donghyuck

Precious boy would be shocked but not that shocked. You get me?

He’s gonna act all dramatic at first, putting a hand on his chest how you just told him this big thing bout yourself after a year of dating. He found out through a really unexpected meetup with your parents, jaw gaping once he found out that both of your parents are rich ceo’s of really big insurance companies. 

Apparently, your parents decided to pick you up for a small vacation to Paris. Being the extras that they are, they made an extravagant dramatic entrance in your multimillion limo, offering Hyuck a ride home in the process. Lowkey the whole car ride was him just being so speechless that you, yourself was surprised to see your usually goofy and loud boyfriend so silent and speechless.

Low key he felt kinda insecure now that he’s met your parents. What if they don’t like him because they thought he wasn’t good enough to be a part of their family? Or rich enough to even be your boyfriend. Though the light conversation your mother had sparked up eased him, feeling relieved that at least your mom liked him, despite your dad being to busy with work to even spare him a glance instead of looking up from his laptop.

The next time you meet up was on a cafe date three days afterward. “I can’t believe I just met your richass parents.” was the first thing he said to you that day. You cackled at his horrified expression as he stares at you as if he had committed arson, chewing his muffin softly as he spoke.

“Relax you big baby, they like you already. They thought you were nice and polite, and quiet.” that last part sounds so wrong you instantly gulped down your milkshake. “If only they knew how much sorcery you have to make me still date you despite how you act like a worm on a heatstroke.” you shuddered.

He let out a sarcastic laugh in response, shoving what’s left in his pistachio muffin into your mouth to shut you up. You giggled, humming at the taste as your boyfriend chuckled.There was a brief moment of silence as you chewed the rest of his muffin before Donghyuck spoke up.

“I never thought my life would come to the day where I have a girlfriend who has a possible chance of being my Sugar Mommy.”

“LEE DONGHYUCK!”

Na Jaemin

He wouldn't be that surprised, really. Finding out that you’re the daughter of a famous k-drama director was quite unexpected considering he was the casted as the main character of this k-drama meaning he had to work harder to make your dad like him. He was beyond astonished to find you visiting the studio with your mother to celebrate your parent’s anniversary in a really expensive Korean Barbeque restaurant that seems even Lee Sooman couldn’t afford to get in.

After finding out Jaemin was THE Na Jaemin you were dating, your parents invited him to join you and your family for dinner. He was a nervous wreck in front of your parents. Not only they were successful and could get him kicked out of the role in a heartbeat if he didn’t make a good first impression, they were rich too. If he plans to marry you, he’s gonna have to be praying to God that this dinner goes smoothly.

Lowkey the thought of you being rich didn’t faze him that much but he was worried your parents might not approve of him considering he wasn’t as successful as they were. Of course, with the constant habit of bringing him up during family dinners that you had developed, they were quite happy to see such a sweet caring boy had the possibility of being their son-in-law.

Believe me, it was their words, not mine.

“MOM! You can’t say things like that!” you whined, burying your head in your hands as he giggled, his hold on your other hand tightening under the table. “What? You two are already in a committed relationship for fourteen months already, and you’re still in that honeymoon phase, unlike your father here who acts as if I was the bane of his existence.” your mother jokes.

“That’s because you are.” you father teased. “Jaemin is a nice boy, having him as a son in law would be great addition to the family.” he added as your face flushed red even more when you felt Jaemin squeeze your hand. Jaemin had a wide smile displayed on his face, his own cheeks flushed red at your parent’s words.

“Maybe one day,” he smiled to himself as he stared at your whole embarrassed being sitting in front of your millionaire parents.

Zhong Chenle

I need more Chenle gifs. Anyways

Most definitely will plan to buy the whole SM Entertainment with you to prevent mistreatment for his foreign hyungs and dongsaengs. Honestly it’s just gonna be so funny for him to find out that you were from a wealthy family as well. No wonder you could afford the latest Dior bag the moment it got released, and bought him the limited edition of the latest Kingdom Hearts game.

At some point of his life, he thought you were secretly stealing money from the bank or something. He found out when he visited your hometown for the first time for a Summer Tour. He didn’t think he’d be staying at a private mansion-like villa. Of course, you invited the other Dream members to stay over so their manager wouldn’t have to struggle with finding a super expensive hotel with high level security.

From then on, every special event is like a gift-giving competition to see either who bought the most items or the most expensive one to make the other feel guilty.

“No. You didn’t.” you gasped, glaring at your boyfriend who just grinned mischievously, despite the fact that he had bought so much stuff that he doesn’t even remember which gift that was. “I did,” he grinned proudly as he watched you pull out those aesthetic acrylic photos with a spotify link on the top from tiktok. “Dammit, you beat me to it.” you pouted, pulling a shopping bag from your side of gifts to pull out an acrylic stand of the two of you on your first date with your shared playlist link on spotify on it.

“That’s so sweet, y/n. I love it, even thought you practically lost this one.” he grinned cheekily. “Lost?” you raised your brows, questioningly. "Honestly, this feels more of a competition than an endearing moment to remember," you mused.

"Not my fault you spoiled me, it's only fair if I spoil you back." Chenle laughed. "What kind of girlfriend I would be if I didn't spoil my hard working boyfriend?" you grinned, letting out a small giggle afterwards as you pulled out another shopping bag from your side to give to your loving boyfriend.

"A rich one," Haechan muttered as he entered the room.

Park Jisung

The day he found out you were loaded was the day he finally got to sleepover at your house when he got a clear schedule. In your 8 months of dating, you two never got to hang out in your house as you both were too busy with your own things to even have a decent date without instant ramen and 6 other males involved.

He expected you to live in a normal minimalistic house. You've sent him hilarious pictures of yourself posing dramatically in your living room with the caption, 'paint me like one of your French girls' at the bottom. He knew you had some kind of minimalistic house with the beige couch and potted plants in the background.

But the picture on his phone was nothing compared to the reality of what your house actually looked like. He swore the entrance to your house was almost four times larger than his own size, and that's saying something. Poor boy was practically trying to scoop his jaw back up when he saw the gigantic chandelier hovering over the two of you in the living room.

"How are you not scared of being crushed by glorious diamonds every day?" was what he said when you dragged him to your room with his eyes lingering on the gigantic chandelier and your fingers wrapped around his wrist. You laughed, shrugging as you pulled him through the long hallway filled with gigantic frames of you and your family.

When he entered you bedroom, he practically dropped his dufflebag to the floor. "I brought my pillow for nothing then," Jisung gaped as he saw your king-sized bed that could fit three or possibly four people. "Are you sure you're not some aristocrat? You're basically living off of the We Boom era," Jisung chuckled incredulously as he watch you collapse on your bed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Idol At Thirteen. You're way more richer than I am," you giggled as Jisung walked over and slumped on the bed beside you, humming at the fluffiness of your freshly washed sheets. "That's clearly inaccurate, y/n. I feel offended you never told me that you're basically a billionaire," Jisung pouted jokingly.

You rolled your eyes, "shut up, Park. I live off of instant noodles and homemade omelettes, I'm no different from you." you booped Jisung's nose, causing him to scrunch up his face in an adorable manner. He looked up to see the paintings of baby angels on your ceiling, it was like some kind of museum.

"I bet you secretly have 60 credit cards in your wallet." he mumbled to himself, eyes still staring at you in disbelief as you gave him an incredulous expression. "Jisung. I'm not that rich, really." you deadpanned, "you saved me from going broke by refusing my offer to pay on dates." you joked.

Jisung laughed, "watch what you're saying, y/n. I don't think I'm ever paying for our dates ever again after this sleepover," he pointed a finger at you. You rolled your eyes, pushing his finger away from your face as you continued to bask in each others presence.

"Does this mean you're finally gonna let me pay though? I'm ordering pizza."

"Not happening, L/N."

A/n: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I PROCRASTINATE ALOT IM SORRY THIS WAS SO BAD I-

[drlauralwalsh]

You and Your Grieving Parts

Do you ever think about your...parts?  No, not those parts, you mischievous little spark plug!  I mean inside your mind - the parts that get weird ideas, warn against danger, are mean to you, and tell you to engage in late-night food rituals.  That last part might just be me.  Seriously though, I’ve been doing some research into the parts of my mind. The idea that our minds have “parts” is not a new idea. Like right now, a part of me wants to keep writing to you and another part just wants to nap. Oh the drama inside! There is one theory that explains this and it has intrigued me since grad school: Internal Family Systems.

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS (IFS) THEORY

The IFS theory believes that the mind is made up of a number of sub-personalities or parts, each with their own set of beliefs, opinions, and responses, and that interact with each other.  At the core is the Self, which has the ability to lead the parts but isn’t always up to the task.  No single part is bad but like an orchestra, the parts can be in harmony or honk cacophonously like a flock of agitated geese.

Along with the core Self, IFS sorts the other parts into categories by function: Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles.  Managers and Firefighters protect you from feeling the pain of the Exile parts.  They have the same goals but use different strategies.  Managers constrict and hold you back while Firefighters automatically react and let it rip.

MANAGERS

Manager parts proactively run the day to day operations of the system and are considered the most “acceptable” parts because they say very adult things and sound most like the core Self.  They maintain balance within you through control.  Managers parts are perfectionist, judgmental, self critical or people pleasing.  They want to prevent humiliation and abandonment by keeping you busy, criticizing what you do, worrying, sabotaging connections, and generally being a control freak.  They strongly believe in self sufficiency and are generally relentless, exacting, chastising and sometimes, anxious and depressed.  They’re really good at giving you a false sense of security by telling you it’s doing it so you’ll look good to others.  A typical Manager thought is, “You really should stop bothering people with your sob story.”

FIREFIGHTERS

Firefighters are your first responders.  They automatically fly out the door to rescue you when something hits too close to home.  They extinguish the fire of pain by smothering or creating a diversion.  They attack “enemies” and get defensive in an effort to control or suffocate emotions.  These are the parts that have anger issues, spending too much money, drink too much or use drugs, get obsessive or suicidal, self harm, or dissociate.  They like to eat too much. binge watch TV and endlessly play video games for hours.  They don’t give a crap about the goody-goody manager parts.  Those weenies don’t know what it’s like to charge heroically into danger.  Firefighters are really good at distracting you from upsetting, painful or overwhelming feelings.  A typical Firefighter part thinks it’s better to rage than to show vulnerability - even in the privacy of your own head.

EXILES

As a psychologist, I get to see other people’s Exile parts more than the average person.  I’ve developed such a knack for it that the Managers and Firefighters appear almost transparent.  When I’m interacting with someone who’s leading with one of those parts, I can see through to the Exile it’s protecting.  Just wish I could more reliably turn that super power on myself!  Exiles are the younger parts that hold pain from the past.  You compartmentalize and isolate them from the rest of the system for their safety and stability in the system.  Because of their vulnerability, they also seem kind of dangerous.  They’re the parts of you that are scared of being abandoned, get intimidated, experienced trauma, and feel a lot of shame.  This is where the Big Four live - not good enough, too much, if you really knew me, and everyone leaves.

Exiles are desperate to tell their story but Managers pessimistically believe your pain is a burden to others. Firefighters flat out refuse to put you in danger of being hurt again.  If a sad, little kid part of you revealed a disgusting longing for an authority figure’s approval during a job interview, a Firefighter part might change the subject while a Manager sabotages the rest of the meeting.  Neo-exiles are the parts we hide within close relationships.  Imagine a romantic partner or friend that gives you attention when you’re doing something nice but ignores your bids for reassurance.  You’ll shut down the needy part of you to maintain the relationship. The message from that person you tell yourself is that only your good parts are acceptable.  

THE CORE SELF

So far, we’ve been describing the orchestra - or if you’d prefer, the various departments of your business or the governmental branches of your personal nation.  Let’s switch to the head of it all - the conductor, the CEO, the President, YOU.  In the center of all of this is your core Self.  It’s a beautiful place to be.  It doesn’t need work because it’s already perfect.  It spontaneously emerges when the air is clear and all is safe.  It is the natural essence of who you are and is sheltered from damage or destruction by function of your parts.  

You know you’re in your grounded center when you feel authentically chill.  Some theories describe the Self by the 8 C’s:

Confident

Courageous

Creative

Clarity

Compassion

Calm

Curious

Connected

I know I’m in that place when nothing said or done can move me off my square.  For instance, I am confident about my intelligence.  If some bozo tried to lecture me about how I’m really a dummy, I might get a little irritated but he’s not going to shake my confidence.  Now if the same bozo flicked some booger comment about something more vulnerable, that might temporarily knock me off-center.  Note: my own managers and firefighters have censored me from revealing said vulnerability for my own protection.

WORST CASE SCENARIO

Your personal configuration and manifestation of parts was constructed to deal with your worst case scenario to date.  Since we have different histories and experiences, each set of parts is like a fingerprint of the individual.  While I’m currently working hard to lead with my core Self, recent events (i.e. the death of my wife) have thrown the system into a reorg process.  All previous worst case scenarios were blown out of the water and my mind’s company is frantically looking for new hires in two main departments.  I thought I’d give you a peek into the frenetic remodeling of my inner Self as the parts run around with their pants on fire.

Exile: [Can’t speak and just cries endlessly into the void.]

Firefighter: “Oh shit!  Their wedding song started playing overhead at the grocery store!”

Manager: “It’s fine.  Everything is fine. Close your ears, stop being a baby and don’t think about it.”

Exile: “But I can’t stop thinking!” [Stops responding as snot clogs up nose.]

Firefighter: “Leave the store!  Leave your groceries where you are!”

Exile: [Blows nose, hides in deserted health food aisle.]

Manager: “Someone could have seen you out there.  Now go check out and remember to smile at the clerk.”

Firefighter: “I think it’s a great time to call it a day and watch more episodes of Designing Women.”

These parts are obviously clueless as to what to do with this newly emerged and devastatingly sad grief Exile.  She’s a little girl part of me that either pitifully weeps or gets hulk-smash rageful.  She isn’t a new part; she’s come out of semi-retirement to hold my overwhelming grief.  She believes that everyone will leave her and she’s left on her own to figure everything out.   She thinks things like, “Why don’t people notice how sad I am???” She doesn’t know a Firefighter distracts her from feeling with a stupid magic trick while a Manager runs around pulling the curtains around her so no one sees.  All the parts are trying to help but the animals are loose at the circus.  Though the Exile doesn’t know it, she’s waiting for my core Self to step in and corral the monkeys.  My Self knows what to do if I can only find and access it.  Stepping from the shadows, my centered Self brings a soothing presence that stops the commotion and quiets the protectors.  Here’s an example:

Manager: “You should shower and do a little cleaning.  This place is a mess!”

Firefighter: “Honestly, I think eating a little cookie butter will make things better.”

Exile: “[Sobbing] Things are never going to get better!  I don’t want them to get better!”

Firefighter: “I know!  Let’s listen to Rage Against the Machine really loud in the kitchen!”

Manager: “Fine, don’t shower even though you stink.  Don’t change clothes either.  It’s not like anyone sees you anyway.”

Firefighter: “Uhhh, isn’t that friend coming over tonight?”

Manager: “Oh yeah!  He’ll certainly notice those dishes that have been in the sink for 3 days.  Just sayin’...”

Exile: “Oh no!  [Hangs head in shame] People will find out how horribly disgusting I am because I haven’t run the dishwasher or broken down and recycled the Amazon boxes.”

Firefighter: “Just throw everything in the backyard!!!”

Manager: “Stack up all the piles neatly so it looks like you wanted them there on purpose.”

SELF: “Alright, let’s think about this.  What if you broke down the boxes right now, put them outside, rinse the dishes, and filled the dishwasher all while listening to Rage Against the Machine?”

Manager: “That’s not enough but okay, fine.”

Firefighter: “Great ideas as always.  I’m going to rest up for the next emergency.”

Exile: “Thank you for listening to me.  I feel a little better and I think we can do this.”

SELF: “Great. Afterwards, everyone can take a break and zone out in front of the TV.  Now put on that music and let’s get to work.”

WHO’S IN CHARGE?

As long as there’s no one in charge, your mind is a confusing and chaotic miasma of competing needs.  Ideally, the Self steps up and takes over negotiation between the parts and directs the next steps.  However, sometimes a part fills in the leadership role.  You know you’re leading with a Manager when you feel buttoned up, intellectually sharp and emotionally numbed out.  Leading with a Firefighter part feels like a continual state of irritability and agitation and keeps you ‘at the ready’ to react to danger.  Exiles are rarely in charge because they’re really bad at it.  They collapse the system and insist on activities like staying in bed all day.

WORKING WITH YOUR SYSTEM

As with most life problems, the first step is awareness. You’ve got to get to know your parts - their personalities, beliefs, and functions - before trying to intervene in their conflicts. Like I said before, there are no bad parts - just competing beliefs and strategies. A given part feels strongly that it’s right, sees it how it really is and knows the truth. Every thought or feeling originating from a part is trying to help you out, even if it doesn’t seem that way. The part of me that says no one wants to be around me is actually trying to protect me from rejection and abandonment. Unchallenged, that part will keep me from connecting to supportive people.

OBSERVING AND IDENTIFYING PARTS

It may be difficult to put your finger on and capture a particular part.  When you’re ready, there’s a few ways to access them.  Start by being curious and non-judgmental.  Think of your centered self as just a researcher interested in data collection.  Reassure yourself that nothing has to change as you’re presently in observation mode.  

Take your emotional temperature by asking yourself how you feel right now.  Ask to see what emotions are already present and how or where your body feels with that emotion.  Observe those messages that are on repeat in your mind.  Alternatively, you can access an upsetting memory from the past and examine it.  Ask yourself, what exactly was upsetting about what happened?  Did you feel afraid, sad, anxious, angry or something else?  How did you react and what did you do?  Did you rage, freeze, numb, avoid, or try to smooth it over?  These questions will reveal clues to what was exiled and what managers and/or firefighters protected you.  If at any time your brain says, “I don’t know,” consider that another protector part and explore accordingly.

STAYING CENTERED

Once you’ve got a handful of observations, pick out one voice and interview it.  More than likely, you’ll be talking to a protector - probably a manager.  Getting it talking by asking what it believes and it’s job in the system.  Ask how old it is and what it looks like.  A voice that says. “This isn’t fair,” may believe you get dumped on more than most and thinks the job is to  protest on your behalf.  It may show up as a finger wagging old man who suggests that something must be wrong with you because this keeps happening.  What’s protective about this voice?  What kind of Exile is it defending?  Be gentle with digging down to the Exiled little kid part underneath.  Kids are delicate and need protecting.  If you find yourself continuing to have strong emotions or becoming reactive, you’ve likely run into another manager or firefighter.  Interview and explore this part before moving deeper.  We can’t access, validate and utilize the burdened exiles without honoring how the system set itself up to protect us.

Once you’re working with a particular part, another angle is to check back in with your calm and centered Self.  What do you understand about the part?  What do you think is going on?  Can you find empathy and appreciation for the part?  Even our nastiest parts work really hard on our behalf.  A critical voice is mean but its heart is in the right place.  An obsessive or addictive part is trying to soothe the system in the best and only ways it knows so far.

TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS

Getting to know your parts is the process of creating trusting relationships between them and the Self.  This is the next step in the process of converting your protectors and split-off exiles into your allies.  Think about how trust is built with other people: consistent interactions, listening to and honoring what’s said, believing their words are important - even when you don’t understand.  That’s exactly how we build rapport with the different parts of ourselves.  It may be scary or unpleasant to get close to your inner critic or the tightly-wound explosive rage but it’s a vital step.  Like a good CEO or President, once your core Self begins to get everyone on board, it’s easier to know what to do when life throws you the next curveball.

I’ve got a story for you from back when my wife was still alive.  I left to go grocery shopping but stopped in at the craft store to shop for just myself.   This nagging little voice kept popping up but I successfully shoved it back down at the craft store.   Entering the grocery store a short time later, I could no longer ignore a little girl voice on repeat: “She’s going to be mad at you!” Sighing, I got centered and engaged it.  Here’s how the conversation went:

Little Girl: “She’s going to be mad at you!”

SELF: “Okay, well, we can handle that.  Why will she be mad at me?”

Little Girl: “Because you took too much time at the craft store.”

SELF: “Why is that a big deal to you?  What are you feeling?”

Little Girl: “I’m worried she’ll be mad and call you selfish because you took time for yourself.”

SELF: “Okay, well if that happens, I’ll take care of it.  You don’t have to explain it to her.  I don’t think she’ll actually be mad but if she is, I’ll be in charge.  How does that sound?”

Little Girl: “I’m still worried but I’ll try it your way.”

SELF: “Great. Thank you for trusting me. No matter what, it will be okay.”

This is the actual transcription of me engaging with a worried part.  For the record, it’s not grounded in current reality.  Naturally, Patty would be concerned if I hadn’t returned from shopping if it had been a few hours but she wouldn’t be mad.  I already had a relationship with this part - the Little Girl.  She’s about 5 or 6 and feels too small and powerless to change things in the world.  She’s used to being  dismissed and pulls at my sleeve to warn me about all the monsters lurking in the shadows.  She’s protected by another part - my rebellious teenager.  If I’m not gentle with the Little Girl, the Rebel leaps to her defense and commandeer the entire system.  The Rebel says things like, “Oh no, you fucking didn’t just do that!  I’ll show you!” and promptly turns off all inhibition and motivation and steers us back to the craft store to buy $100 worth of crap.  I’ve learned my lesson - listen to and trust the Little Girl, or else it’ll cost me.

YOUR PARTS IN GRIEF

I’m still getting to know and lead the parts of me as they grieve.  As with outside life, my internal life was thrown into disarray after Patty died.  I had all the parts nicely organized, productive, and had good working relationships with all.  Death took my puny little shoebox diorama on the inside of my mind and… shook it up really hard.   I was so proud of my hand painted little figurines, all precisely glued in their rightful places.  A manager most assuredly came up with that idea.  Now, there’s a part of me that just wants to toss the whole thing and another part that’s picking up each piece, crying over its brokenness.  

All I can do is be patient with myself for now as I sort through the pieces in the shoebox.  I tried throwing it out but it just reappeared.  I’m working on getting the lay of the land.  I’m doing my best to accept and soothe the broken parts - even as they overreact, judge me for not keeping things cleaner, numb out with cookie butter, and cry at the grocery store.  We are trudging down the road right now but when I get to know everyone again, I’ll call a meeting and figure out what’s next.

[countessmorgasson]

High Tensions

Playfully angsty scene! Asra decides to stir up some drama in the palace... Lucio x MC

Gender Neutral MC

(Disclaimer: Based on both Lucio and Asra’s routes)

Little did you know at the time, your lunch date with Lucio was the last peaceful hour you were going to have for a while.

The Chamberlain scrambles into the dining room, bowing and apologizing profusely for the interruption. Lucio’s halfway through a glass of wine, so you take the initiative to ask if everything’s alright.

“Absolutely, er- uh- magician-” they stammer, but Lucio holds a hand up.

“That’s your excellency,” Lucio raises an eyebrow. “After all, m/c practically lives here now. Treat them as you would me or Noddy.”

Lucio flashes a wink at you, causing your cheeks to burn.  You’d never get used to that.

“Right- absolutely. Your... excellency, ah... the great magician Asra has come to visit you.”

Lucio makes a point of groaning and rolling his eyes, but you stand immediately, eager to see your friend. There was an old spell book he promised to find for you earlier- something tells you he found what you were looking for. 

“Don’t tell me you’re actually going now,” Lucio mutters. “We’ve barely finished eating.”

You look down to see empty bowls and plates everywhere. You raise an eyebrow at Lucio’s sudden flush.

“I’ll be back before you even finish your wine.”  You press a kiss to his cheek before walking off, hearing his grumbles fade away as you’re escorted out of the dining room.

-

Being separated from Asra always felt weird, even though by now most of your time was spent away from the shop. You remember the days when you begged Asra not to leave on his journeys without you, to which he’d just sigh before promising you it’d be okay...

You wave off the odd feeling in your gut, smiling widely when you see him.

You wouldn’t admit it to Lucio, but spending all your time at the palace was still something you were struggling to accept. You enjoyed it of course- what could be better than living in luxury with the person you love?  It was just... a big change that you hadn’t completely settled into yet. Your whole life once belonged at the shop. 

It felt good to be in a friend’s company.

Asra stands, smoothing down the fabric of his tunic before looking up at you with a shy smile. Your eyes immediately drift to the large grimoire set on the table. 

“Asra!” You greet him with a short hug before you take your seats on the grand couches. “Is that what I think it is?”

He holds up the book with a proud smile. 

“You were right to ask for this- I’ve been going through it for days!”

“No fair! You had it that long already?”

Asra starts off with a smile, but it fades into an awkward grimace. 

“Oh don’t mind me,” Lucio’s voice fills the room as he makes his presence known in the salon. The words tumble out of his mouth, suggesting that he had more than his fair share of wine. “I just wanted to see my dear friend Asra.”

“Lucio-” You shoot him a glance, but he makes a point not to look at you. 

“What? You’d think he and I would be great friends now, considering how often he stops by the palace to see... us.”

You could just die! You feel so awful, watching Asra’s blush paint his face red. He looks to the floor, but Lucio only grins, taking a seat next to you.

“Asra, I’m so sorry-” 

He puts a hand up to dismiss your embarrassed apology. You can almost see his thought process as he looks between the two of you. Lucio drapes his arm around you, but you awkwardly push it away, burning in anger and humiliation. 

“It’s alright, m/c.” Asra’s voice doesn’t match up with his expression. You recognize it though; it sounds... mischievous, playful.  Oddly enough, similar to Lucio’s.

“Lucio’s right.” 

“What?” You and Lucio speak in unison, but Asra isn’t phased. You’re not sure how to feel about the flirtatious gleam in his eyes. 

You know Asra loves messing with Lucio, but this is... a dangerous game. Lucio can’t handle a taste of his own medicine.

“We all know I’m only here for you, m/c. If he wants me to admit it I will, but he can’t blame me. Who says he gets you all to himself? Look at your beautiful face- how could I not want to see it all the time?”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

Is Asra really flirting with you to get a rise out of Lucio?

The magician leans back in his seat with a nonchalant shrug. He’s completely fixed on Lucio, who by now is tightly clutching the armrest- his face contorted into a scowl. Meanwhile, you’re not exactly sure what happened, but you know you feel embarrassed about it. 

“No...” Lucio manages to speak calmly, but you recognize that rage in his eyes. “It’s fine. Talk all you want, but m/c is mine. You can’t change that.”

“Can’t I?” Asra raises an eyebrow.

Did they both forget that you’re sitting right there?! 

You open your mouth to put a stop to this nonsense, but Lucio springs to his feet, pointing hastily at the exit.

“Out!” He screeches. “I don’t want to see your stupid face around m/c or the palace for a week!”

“Lucio-!” You stand as well, frantically trying to get his attention. You place a hand on his gauntlet, as if you could actually hold him back.

They might actually start to fight.

Luckily, Asra seems to have had his fun. He pushes the grimoire towards you, sliding it across the table with a wink, but you’re too tense to return the gesture. He went too far this time. 

“It’s okay, m/c. I just wanted you to have the spellbook. I guess I’ll see you in a week.”

He bows mockingly before making a beeline for the exit, chuckling to himself.

“Lucio-”

“I need a drink.” Lucio shrugs your hand off him and nearly stomps his way down the corridor.

...

What just happened?

-

It took you ages to find Lucio. He practically vanished after what happened in the salon. 

You’re trying to push it out of your mind. There were a million ways that whole interaction could have gone, and somehow the worst one happened. 

Lucio was out of line with Asra today.

But what was Asra thinking, talking to you like that?

Your thoughts finally melt away when you reach the fountain. 

Lucio sits at the edge, swirling a very full glass of red wine around. You see no rage in his expression, but it almost feels worse seeing him slump like this. You take a seat next to him, but he only looks down.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

You nod. Neither do you. Despite that, he sighs irritably. The smell of red wine reminds you of your lunch date- it suddenly felt like ages ago.

“That was so uncool of Asra to act like that. It’s not... fair.” Lucio sets the wine down, but he won’t look at you. 

“He was messing with you, dear. You know that. Why are you taking it so hard?”

“He was not just ‘messing with me.’ Didn’t you hear what he said? He practically admitted that he’d steal you away from me.”

The anger’s left his voice now, and in a crushing realization, you see that he’s actually hurt. 

“He didn’t say that outright.” The words nearly catch in your throat as you say them. Maybe Asra didn’t say it word for word, but... the implication was clear. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t stick up for you,” you admit. “I was trying to keep the peace, and I was just so... thrown off. I should have defended you. I’m definitely going to have a talk with Asra the next time I see him. He can’t talk to you like that.” 

Lucio just takes your hand and brings it to his lips. You’re not used to seeing him so glum- you thought he’d be more... angry. Pouty.

“You don’t think that it’s true, do you? What Asra was saying?”

“I... don’t know.” Lucio buries his face in his hands now, letting go of yours. “He obviously has feelings for you. How am I supposed to deal with that? You’ve known each other longer than we have... and... how could he say that?!” 

He groans in frustration. Part of you is glad he’s not looking at you- you can feel how pained your expression is. 

How could he think I’d love anyone else?

You shut your eyes and crash into him with a tight hug. 

“None of that matters! Look at me. Darling, look at me. You were right earlier. I’m yours. All yours, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. There’s nobody in the world who can stop me from loving you.”

For a long moment, there’s silence. You keep your eyes shut, trying to avoid the sniffle you hear. 

“...Promise?”

You open your eyes and sheepishly stick out your pinky.

Finally, you see him smile from the corner of your eye, and you feel a golden pinky claw wrap around yours. 

“You’re all mine,” Lucio repeats it again and again. “You said it yourself.”

“I’m all yours.”

He finally turns to face you and you seize the moment, taking him in for a deep kiss. With a smirk, he holds your chin in place. You let your lips linger on his for a moment, just in case your words weren’t enough. 

You pull away to take a breath, but you’re still only inches away.

“Fair warning m/c...” 

Lucio’s mischievous smile finally makes its way back to his lips again. 

“I’m all yours too.”

[quidfree]

In LMV what’s the dynamic between James, Sirius, and Remus? I can see that Remus is into Sirius but doesn’t seem to be into James...I think Sirius is maybe into Remus and is definitely into James, I know he and Remus kissed but he seems to be preoccupied with James... are Sirius and Remus officially a thing?And James is married but is awfully attached to Sirius, but doesn’t seem to be into Remus. What do you see the relationships between the three of them as? Is this something that’s going to be explored? Thanks!

my main thing w the marauders (at least in LMV) is that it’s not like, per se, any of them are clear-cut ‘a thing’ or dating or whatever, notwithstanding the very in love married couple in the group. the dominant relationship at work (and the one that matters most to me) is the one between all of them, ie a bunch of people who are very close friends and all at least a little in love w/ each other. beyond that the degree and intensity of feelings varies. but LMV itself kind of traces the arc of everyone realising this, and just kind of gradually not caring about clean-cut social boundaries between them, instead favouring just letting whatever messy feelings they may have be known within the group. i think sirius and lily are the two people who have wised up the most to it by this point, as the story hopefully suggests.

to answer your question more specifically, like i mentioned above, there’s no 1:1 equivalence between any of the relationships in LMV- all of the individual relationships are kind of on their own page. so the core boys are all v tight friends, but beyond that their pairings are all very different from e/o. (sidenote it feels very weird to exclude lily from this discussion but fair is fair).

james-sirius is kind of the predominant one in LMV itself, which i swear is just me applying canon- yes, we barely see them interact in the books themselves, but the way literally every other character talks about it it’s obvious they were inseparable to the point of codependence when james was alive, so this translates into the fic. so yes, jamesandsirius™ does take precedence over most of their other relationships- which everyone else is fully aware of. the main disbalance in their relationship is just that sirius has a lot of familial hangups so he puts james on a bit of a pedestal (to summarise shocking amounts of meta i could write), and then james has lily whereas sirius primarily has james- though regulus is sirius’ Other Person in a sense. i think really james and sirius have been factually dating since they were like twelve but just don’t know it because they were so instantly on the same page they never went through the awkward motions. both lily and remus are at least subconsciously aware of this. so, increasingly (and to his horror) is regulus.

remus-sirius are also a very important relationship (to both charas) but on a different level than james and sirius are. from remus’ pov i think remus and sirius are to an extent closer than remus and james, even though james means more to remus, if that makes sense- they may not vibe as much but they understand each other. this last bit also applies to sirius. remus has a similarly pine-y feeling for all three other marauders (lily included as third, not peter, lol) but in a way sirius is the only one he feels like he can communicate this to (see: old married couple) bc he’s not so above remus’ cynicism. the same in reverse goes for sirius. the two of them didn’t kiss because they’re Now Dating, it’s more that after all the stress and drama surrounding the locket + their prolonged roommateship sirius kind of walks back into his flat, takes in remus’ presence, and is like. im now going to kiss you as revenge/thanks for caring about my survival. it’s definitely acknowledging a tension that’s been around for ages, but it doesn’t change anything about their relationship otherwise, yk? which i think they were both kind of worried about before but in the moment even as remus feels murderous he’s also relieved like oh, ok, this is normal actually.

remus-james is a relationship that’s unfortunately been placed on the back-burner by plot seeing as they haven’t hung out alone for prolonged amounts of time since the chapter where they hunted down the squib house. which is a shame bc they are also v close friends w a v interesting relationship! and remus is not immune to the james effect- he’s subtler about it, but he certainly hero worships him a fair deal, though unlike sirius he doesn’t have a giant blind spot about it. and james in return almost especially enjoys remus’ company because he’s the most closed off of his friends, even all these years later, so he’s still forever trying to worm his way into his head (heart having been long foregone) and their verdicts on things matter a lot to each other. i would say of the whole group they’re probably the least, hm, ‘romantic’ per se, but they are incredibly important to e/o, and probably best-suited to give each other advice that approximates the objective, despite their own biases. in a specific way they are the most self-aware of the dynamics of the group.

i hope that about answers your question- tldr this is obviously sort of a secondary theme to LMV that is gradually explored throughout the narrative, but my main point would be not to try and sort out clear-cut pairings because that is not what the story’s really about. they are just people who love e/o! 

[gaiyofanfiction]

Silent Yearning

Mute!Donghyuck x New Student!Reader

Drama/Fluff

Words: 8.1k

Summery: Ever since a traumatic experience happened to Donghyuck, his depression and anxiety caused him to turn mute as a way to cope. Now, having gone from one of the most popular boys in school to the school’s freak, he cuts everyone out from his life, trying to fly under the radar. That was, until you showed up and turned his whole life around. But was it for the better?

A/N: I’m so sorry I’ve been away for so long. I’ve been going through some shit. I’ve had this idea for this fic for a very long time and finally got around to writing it. It was originally for Hyuck’s birthday but clearly that didn’t happen. So, happy belated birthday to my sun and love of my life! <3 Please enjoy!

Warnings: Bullying, horrible YangYang, mentions of mental illness and death

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. Any personality traits/illnesses of Donghyuck, YangYang, Xiaojun and Hendery are made up by me. They in no way reflect the real personalities of these amazing boys.

(Also, Stan NCT ot21 for good grades and clear skin)

~~~

The darkness surrounds him, consuming his entire being. He can't see, can't hear, can't speak.

‘What's going on?! Why can't I see anything?! Why can't I breathe?!’

He clutches his chest, nothing but pain engulfing his lungs. Suddenly there was a burst of light behind him. He spins around to see crushed metal that had burst into flames. Tears form in his eyes, inhaling nothing but smoke as he cries out.

“Mom! Dad!”

“Mr. Lee!”

Donghyuck jolts awake, breathing heavily and sweat beading down his flustered face. He looks around the room, realizing he had fallen asleep in class. He looks up at the teacher, who was hovering over him, shaking her head in disappointment.

“Please at least try to pay attention, Mr. Lee.”

The teacher sighs and walks back to the front of the classroom. Donghyuck hears laughter and looks to his right to see YangYang and his goons with smirks on their faces. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the front, his chin resting on his arms. She resumes her lessons but after a few minutes, there's a knock on the door.

The classroom door opens to reveal the school's principal. He bows his head and smiles. “Class, I'd like to introduce a new student that will be joining us for the remainder of the year.”

You stepped into the classroom, your face flushed from being the center of attention. As soon as Donghyuck sees you, his eyes widen and his breath hitches. He's never seen someone so beautiful in his life. ‘She's never going to notice someone like me. Let alone, me.’ However, when the teacher tells you to introduce yourself, Donghyuck pays close attention.

You bow your head to the class. “H-Hello. My name is Y/N. I moved to Seoul from [hometown], so my Korean is a little rusty.” You giggle shyly. “Um, I don't do a lot. I mainly like to read and write. Please take care of me.” You bow your head once more.

The teacher claps and smiles. “How wonderful. Let's see, you can take a seat next to Donghyuck in the back.” She points to the seat on the left side of him, making him slightly panic on the inside.

You smile at the teacher and make your way to the back of the classroom. You take your seat and turn your head to look at the boy next to you.

“Hi, I'm Y/N. You're Donghyuck? It's nice to meet you.” He swallows the lump in his throat but doesn't glance your direction. Your smiles fades into a frown at his rejection. “I-I'm sorry.” You mutter under your breath, turning your attention back to the front. Donghyuck's stomach drops, feeling awful for ignoring your friendliness. ‘It's better this way. She can't be seen with me on her first day.’

The teacher continues her lesson but once again gets cut off by the phone ringing. She answers before nodding and hanging up. “Class, I will be right back, I have a matter I need to attend to. Behave yourselves until I return.” She gives a pointed look at YangYang and Donghyuck before leaving the room and shutting the door.

As soon as the door closes, the class erupts into conversation. You stay quiet, just doodling in your notebook until you feel a presence around your desk. You look up to see three boys, all with grins on their faces.

“Hi there.” You raise a brow at the one talking, who seems to be the ringleader. You already get a bad feeling from these three. “I'm YangYang, this is Xiaojun and Hendery. Welcome to SM high.”

You give the boys a cautious smile. “H-Hi. I'm Y/N.”

“I see you've met little Hyuck here.” Xiaojun gestures to the quiet, observing boy. “You won't get much out of him. He's a mute.”

You turn your attention to the boy next to you. “You're mute, Donghyuck?” A smile grows on your face and you clap excitedly, which confused the boy. “I'm sorry, I don't mean to seem rude. I just thought you didn't like me. But you just can't say anything.” You giggle quietly, the pleasant sound making Donghyuck's heart flutter.

YangYang clears his throat. “We would like to extend the offer of helping you integrate into this school. There is a hierarchy, if I must say. You're cute and have a lot of potential. I would be happy to help you figure out who you should,” he points to himself, “and shouldn't be seen with.” He finishes, sending Donghyuck a look of disgust.

You see the interaction between the two boys, YangYang's little smirk and Donghyuck's sad, but frustrated look, not meeting your eyes. You turn your attention on YangYang and his goons.

“I think I can decide whom I'd like to associate myself with on my own, thanks.” You deadpan, an annoyed expression flashing through your face.

YangYang's smirk turns into a scowl. “Fine, have it your way. You just signed your way to the bottom of the food chain with this freak.” He points his thumb at Donghyuck and turns away, sauntering back to his desk. You roll your eyes and turn to the mute boy next to you. His eyes shift between you and the notebook on his desk. You open your mouth to say something but were cut off by the bell.

The teacher walks back in at the same time the bell rings. “Alright class, tomorrow we will be discussing the next chapter. Make sure to read the homework!” She yells over the hustling of the students trying to leave.

You see Donghyuck pack up his things and book it out of the classroom. “Donghyuck, wait!” You put your notebook away as fast as you can before running after him.

You catch up and start walking beside him. He side eyes you with a confused look. You tilt your head. “What?”

He takes out his phone and starts typing something. He turns to show you.

Why are you walking with me?

You read the words before giving the boy a smile. “Because I want to be friends, silly.”

He looks taken aback before he scowls. He types something else and turns to show you.

You shouldn't. You'll learn that I'm not someone you'll want to be seen with.

With that, the boy pulls his backpack tighter against himself and hurries away, leaving you sad and confused.

~~~

You walk through the cafeteria, looking for a place to sit. Being the new kid, you didn't exactly have a friend group to hang around with. The only person you've talked to so far was Donghyuck and YangYang, and you'll be damned if you ever decide to sit next to YangYang.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Donghyuck sitting alone. A smile plays at the corner of your lips. You make your way over to the boy and sit down across from him. Donghyuck looks up from his lunch and freezes when he sees you. He raises an eyebrow in wonderment. You look at him, tilting your head.

“What?”

He takes out his phone to type something, showing you when he's done.

Why are you sitting here?

You shrug. “I told you before, I want to be friends.”

He rolls his eyes.

But why me?

“Because I like you and want to get to know you.”

Donghyuck's cheeks turn pink, turning his face down at his tray so you don't see. You let out a little giggle before turning back to your food. The two of you sat in comfortable silence, just enjoying your lunch and his company.

“Why is she sitting with him?”

“Doesn't she know he's a mute?”

“She just signed her death warrant, sitting with that freak.”

Donghyuck hears the whispers around him from his classmates. He glances at you, knowing you must have heard them and you must have changed your mind about wanting to be friends. However, when he sees you happily munching away at your lunch and not paying any mind, he's come to the conclusion that you either don't hear them or don't care.

“Hey, Hyuck.” He snaps out of his daze to look at you. You hold out your hand. “Gimmie your phone.”

He raises an eyebrow curiously, tilting his head. You roll your eyes. “Please?”

Donghyuck cautiously hands you his phone, which you happily take. You open it and go to his contacts. You type in your number and then take a cute selfie to put as your contact picture. After sending a text to your phone, so you can have his number, you hand back his phone. His mouth drops open in slight shock at your forwardness. He never expected you to want his number.

You hold up your own phone and point the camera at him. “Say cheese,” you snap a photo. You look at it fondly, a cute surprised expression on his face. Giggling at the cute picture, you put your phone away. “Now you have my number and I have yours!”

Donghyuck stares at you in awe. He's never had someone go to these lengths to genuinely get to know him. Not since…

A bell rings, snapping Donghyuck out of his thoughts, signaling the end of lunch. You swallow the last bit of food before cleaning up. “What's your next class?”

Donghyuck pulls out his class schedule, handing it to you. You scan the sheet of paper and notice you have three classes together after the lunch bell. You smile happily, handing back the paper.

“Oh! I have the same class as you. We can walk together!” Donghyuck raises a brow, looking at you with a weird look at your enthusiasm. You tilt your head, “what?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes and picks up his pace, walking in front of you, a smile playing at his lips.

~~~

The rest of the day went fairly smooth. You had two more classes with Donghyuck, but he usually did his best to ignore you or push you away. Although, he seems to try less and less, making you hopeful he will accept your friendship.

By the time you got home, you were exhausted from your first day. You said hi to your parents and collapsed onto your bed. After a few seconds, you pull out your phone and pull up Donghyuck's contact. You click on his picture, blushing and giggling at his cute surprised expression. He really was a beautiful human being. You built up the courage to text him, hoping he will respond.

Y/N: Hey Hyuckie! I hope you got home okay ^^

Donghyuck laid in his bed, thinking about everything that happened today. He never expected to have met a girl, especially one so forward as you. Just then his phone buzzes, signaling an incoming message. He picks up his phone to see the cute picture of you had popped up, the message being from you. A smile graces his lips at your picture. It takes a moment for him to build up the courage to reply but he does shortly after.

Hyuck: I did. Thanks for asking.

Y/N: That’s good! Hey, I’m sorry for being so straightforward at school today. You just seem really cool and I wanted to get to know you…

Donghyuck bites his lip, a feeling of guilt washing over him. He didn’t mean to make you feel bad for trying to befriend him. In all honesty, a little crush had developed inside of him for you. But he knew he couldn’t act on it, he couldn’t let you go through the teasing and bullying just for being associated with him. He had to protect you.

Hyuck: It’s okay. Just not used to it. I should really be getting to sleep. Have a good night, Y/N. <3

‘Crap!’ He didn’t mean to accidentally press the heart emoji. He tried to stop the sending of the text but it was already too late, it had gone through. He internally panics for a good 5 seconds before his phone dings again, your cute picture popping up.

Y/N: Oh, that’s okay! I probably should be too. Please sleep well. See you tomorrow, Hyuckie! <3

His heart flutters as soon as he reads your message. Not only did you call him Hyuckie, you also but a heart emoji at the end of the message. Turning his phone face down next to him, he sighs. At this rate, his crush on you will turn into something bigger, especially if you continue to talk to him like that. Donghyuck turns onto his side, facing the wall. He closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, thoughts of the new, cute and straightforward girl in his class invading his dreams.

~~~

The next day, you arrive at school, excited to see Donghyuck. You make your way to the classroom and see Donghyuck sitting in his seat. You wave excitedly, causing a small smile to play at his lips. You take your seat next to him.

“Hey Hyuckie, how are you this morning?” He shrugs, indicating he was doing alright. You smile and giggle.

“Oh! I have something for you!”

Donghyuck watches as your dig through your backpack and pull out a small whiteboard. You hand it to him, a big smile on your face. He tilts his head in confusion at the gift.

“It's a dry erase board. I thought it would help you communicate easier than to constantly pull out your phone.” You send him a proud smile.

He looks down at the whiteboard, a new feeling engulfing him. He looks up to see your sparkling smile, making him smile back. He writes something on the board and turns it around.

Thank you, Y/N.

You giggle and give him a big smile. “Of course, Hyuckie. I'm glad you like it.”

You suddenly feel a presence in front of you. You glance over to see YangYang, Xiaojun and Hendery facing you. The smile on your face turns to one of annoyance.

“Can I help you?”

YangYang grins, “no, I'm okay, thanks for asking.” You roll your eyes at his mocking response. “We were just wondering, have you gotten sick of this little mute here yet?”

You raise a brow, “no, but I've gotten sick of you.”

YangYang scowls, suddenly gripping your arm harshly. “What did you say to me?”

You whimper at his tight hold and try to pull away. Donghyuck's eyes grow wide, concern eating at him. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He slowly closes his mouth and stares at YangYang's hand gripping your arm with a pained look on his face.

“Hey, let her go.”

You look up at the new voice. You see an attractive boy your age with pink hair. Xiaojun snickers. “Says who?”

“Says us.” Another boy with light brown hair steps next to him. “Or have you three stooped to a new low harassing innocent girls?”

The three bullies scowl but listen. YangYang releases your arm and gives you a look. “You're on my radar now, new kid. Watch your back.” They retreat back to their desks.

You breathe a sigh of relief. “Um. Thank you…”

“I'm Jaemin and this is Jeno.” The boy with light brown hair gestures to himself and then the boy next to him.

You look at Donghyuck with a brow raised in question. He writes something on his board and shows it to you.

They're harmless.

Jeno glances at the board and chuckles. “Well, thanks Hyuck. Nice to know you think we're harmless.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. The two boys take the seats near the two of you, Jeno in front of you and Jaemin in front of Donghyuck.

“I'm Y/N,” you smile at them. “You two are in this class? I don't remember seeing you yesterday.”

“Oh yeah, that's because we ditched.” Jaemin waves a dismissive hand. “Us and a few of our other friends.”

“Right,” you nod slowly.

Jaemin turns to Donghyuck. “Hey, Hyuck. How are you doing?”

You watch Jaemin carefully. After how YangYang was with him, you worry for another person to be sarcastic. But the way Jaemin looks at him, you can tell he was genuinely worried.

Donghyuck writes quickly on his board and turns it around.

Fine.

Jaemin glances at Jeno who also had a worried look on his face. Jeno gestures at Donghyuck's whiteboard. “I love the board. Is it new?”

Y/N got it for me.

“Awe! That's so sweet.” Jaemin coos, a sparkle in his eye. You giggle and smile at Donghyuck, making his heart flutter.

“So, Y/N. What are your classes for the rest of the day?”

You pull out your class schedule to show the two boys. Jeno snatches it out of your hands and scans it over. “Oh cool, we have a few classes together and lunch period. You'll get to meet the rest of the crew!”

Donghyuck watches the interactions between you, Jaemin and Jeno. A jealous feeling overwhelms him. His hand tightens into a fist. ‘Of course she'd like them. Why would anyone choose me over two of the most popular guys in the school?’

The three of you chatted with Donghyuck occasionally writing on his board, until the teacher walks in to start class. All during the lesson, Donghyuck kept stealing glances in your direction. Every time you caught him staring at you, you would make a silly face, causing him to chuckle silently. Seeing him smile more often made your heart swell in happiness. You were starting to fall for the silent boy and you weren't sure what to do.

~~~

Finally it was lunch time, your stomach growling, telling you to eat something. You walk into the lunch room and search for Donghyuck, but he is nowhere to be found. Your shoulders slump in disappointment in not finding your boy of interest. You stand there awkwardly, not knowing where to sit. You didn't really have any friends besides Donghyuck. You see an empty table and start to make your way towards it, but not before you hear someone calling your name.

“Y/N, over here!”

You look around to see Jeno and Jaemin waving at you. You smile and make your way to the table occupied by Jeno, Jaemin and four other unfamiliar boys. You take a seat between Jeno and a boy with green hair.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. She's the new girl in the school. Y/N, meet the crew.” Jeno starts pointing at each boy, introducing them to you. “You already know Jaemin. The one with green hair is Chenle, he's a year younger than us. The one with blonde hair is Renjun, he's in our grade. The orange haired giant is Jisung, he's two years younger than us. And that one is Mark, who's a year older.” Jeno finishes up with pointing to a black haired individual.

You furrow your brows. “You're a year older? How are you still in high school?”

“Well, last year he had gotten into a huge fight with Xiaojun and Hendery, resulting in all three being suspended. So they missed quite a lot of class and had to take the year over,” Renjun explains. “Have you met those two yet?”

You roll your eyes. “You mean YangYang's pathetic lackey's? Yeah, I've met them.”

Chenle pats your back with a smirk. “I like her already.” Everyone at the table laughs.

“So, Y/N. How are you liking SM high so far?” Jisung takes a bite of his food, chewing slowly.

“It's okay. The classes are fine. I haven't really gotten a chance to make friends, though. Everyone seems to be avoiding me.” You shrug.

“Y/N here has befriended our little Donghyuck.” Jeno nudges you with his shoulder.

Mark raises a brow. “Really? Well, that explains why. No one really talks to him or anything, so if you associate yourself with him, then you're going to be ostracized.”

“That shit doesn't bother me. People can think what they want about me, that's their problem.” You wave a dismissive hand. “But, if I may ask, why is he a mute? Was be born like that or did something happen?”

The six boys glance at each other with odd looks. You raise a brow in question. Then, Mark speaks up. “No, he wasn't always like that. It's because of something that happened to him about a year ago.”

“Hyuck and his parents were on their way home from a music competition. He was a pianist and vocalist, actually, and he was really good at it. Well, they were almost home, still happy about him winning first place…” Renjun trails off.

Jisung speaks up, his voice soft. “An SUV ran a red light as they were driving and T-boned them. Hyuck survived but his parents… They didn't.”

Your hand flies to your mouth in shock. Jaemin takes over with a sad smile. “He has never been the same since. It was devastating. He stopped singing, stop talking in general. He used to be part of our group but after it happened, he stopped hanging out with us. Eventually everyone started avoiding him and eventually making fun of him. Even though most people know about what happened, they still treat him like he's a hindrance to society. They don't care. They only see someone who's different and automatically becomes a target.”

You stay quiet for a moment, absorbing everything the boys explained to you. You shake your head, trying to hold back your tears. “Humans are so cruel to each other. Fuck, no wonder he's tried to push me away. He probably thinks I'll become like the rest of them.” The boys remain silent. Your voice becomes a whisper. “But I like him. A lot. I am maybe thinking about asking him out?”

All six boys’ eyes dart to you in shock. They weren't expecting you to say that. You fiddle with your fingers awkwardly. “D-Do you think he'd say yes?”

“Yes!” They all blurt out at once, surprising you.

“You should. You should do it. Please.” Mark practically begs. “He needs someone who he can open up to and maybe he'll start talking again and eventually become his old self.”

“I-I can try,” you stutter blushing. You'd love for Donghyuck to open up to you, to trust you with everything. You just weren't sure how long it would take to happen, if ever.

You hear the door to the cafeteria open, breaking you out of your thoughts. You see Donghyuck walk in, a pile of papers in his hands. Smiling, you stand up and wave to him. A smile tugs at his lips when he sees you, but it fades noticing with whom you were sitting. He cautiously walks over your direction.

Suddenly, a foot pops in his way, causing him to trip. He falls face flat, his papers scattering everywhere. You gasp and hurry over to him.

“Donghyuck, are you okay?!”

He ignores your words and hurries to pick up his papers with you helping him. You notice the papers he dropped were in fact sheet music. Before you can ask about them, you hear laughter from the tables around you and then a low voice.

“Doesn't seem like little Hyuck here knows how to walk properly. Guess that comes with the title of being a freak.”

You grind your teeth in irritation. Standing up, you face the person with the irritating voice. It was Hendery, who had a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You speak through your teeth.

Hendery raises a brow. “Excuse me?”

“You fucking heard me. I said, what the fuck is your problem?” You growl.

“I don't have a fucking problem, little girl. But you seem to.” Hendery takes a step forward, smirking at you.

“Back the fuck off, prick. He hasn't done anything to you.” You raise your hands and shove him back. He stumbles backwards, not expecting you to become physical.

The six boys that were watching drop their jaws in shock. They never would expect you to be this straight forward. “Oh, I like her,” Renjun nods in approval.

Hendery's smirk turns into a scowl. He straightens himself up and takes two steps, suddenly right in your face. You raise a hand to push him again but he snatches it before you can. “Oh, little girl. You're going to regret that.”

Once the boy put his hands on you, Mark and Jisung were next to you faster than you thought possible. Mark pries Hendery's hand off of you and pushes you behind him.

“Don't fucking touch her.” Mark crosses his arms, Jisung following suit.

“Oh look, it's Mark and little Jisungie. How sweet, saving the new girl.” Hendery weighs his options and realizes he wouldn't win in a fight two against one. He turns his scowl back onto you. “Next time you start something, you better finish it yourself.” He sends one more glare to Jisung and Mark before exiting the cafeteria in a huff.

Your eyes burn into his back as you watch him leave. You then turn your attention back onto the mute boy. “Are you okay, Hyuck? He didn't hurt you, did he?” You help him up by his arm.

Donghyuck looks around the cafeteria. Everyone was watching closely, their judgmental eyes boring into him. His anxiety spikes, making him react immediately. He rips his arm away from you, causing you to look at him with concerned eyes. He writes on his board.

Why the hell did you do that?

You furrow your brows. “I was just concerned and wanted to help.”

Just stop. I don't need your help. I don't need your pity.

“I-I'm not pitying you.” You speak in a quiet voice.

I was fine before you showed up. You're making everything worse. Just leave me alone!

You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to hold back your tears. “I'm sorry,” you squeak out in a quiet voice before booking it out of the cafeteria.

Jisung gives Donghyuck a disappointed look before running after you to make sure you're okay. Mark turns to Donghyuck with an incredulous look.

“What the hell was that for?”

Donghyuck ignores Mark and walks out of the cafeteria. Mark growls and follows him. He grabs Donghyuck by the shoulder and turns him around, but there were already words on his board.

Leave me alone, Mark.

“Like hell I will. Why the fuck did you say that to her? She didn't do anything wrong.”

I don't need her pity friendship. I'm not a charity case.

“But that's not what she was doing! She actually cares about you and wanted to help!”

How the hell would you know that?

Mark throws up his hands in frustration. “Because she told me. She told all of us.”

Donghyuck glares.

I don't believe you. You're just trying to humiliate me.

“Donghyuck, Stop! I'm not trying to do anything! Whether you believe it or not, I'm still your friend! We are ALL still your friends, no matter how hard you push us away!” Mark stops Donghyuck from writing, now fully angry. “I understand what you went through was awful. It was fucking god awful and I couldn't even imagine how you feel. But that is never an excuse to block every person who tries to get close to you! Not everyone is out to hurt you!”

Donghyuck grinds his teeth together in irritation but remains still. Mark puts his hands on both of Donghyuck's shoulders and shakes him. “Wake the fuck up, Hyuck. You have a girl who is cute, sweet, confident, and willing to get her ass beat just to be close to you! She really fucking likes you, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck's eyes widen at Marks words. He quickly writes something on his board.

She likes me?

Mark chuckles dryly. “Yeah, she does. She asked us if she should ask you out, if you'd say yes if she did. We told her she should.”

She was going to ask me out? Why me?

“Because you're an amazing person, Hyuck. Anyone would be lucky to have you and clearly she knows that.”

Donghyuck takes it all in, imagining a world where you were his girlfriend. A smile slips onto his lips at the thought but slowly slips away once he remembers what he said to you. The image of your smile fading and the confidence in your voice gone after what he said ate at him. He had to fix this. Knowing he had his next class with you caused him to make a beeline for the classroom, leaving Mark standing there confused.

He bursts into the classroom, hoping to god you were already there. To his disappointment, he beat you to it. Sitting at his desk, he prepared a little note to show you as soon as you had reached the class. However, as time went on, there was no sign of you. Worry started to eat at Donghyuck. This was writing, your favorite course. There was no way you'd miss it.

There was only 20 minutes left of the class and still no sign of you. Donghyuck's anxiety rose the longer he sat knowing he'd had hurt you. Not being able to sit still any longer, he grabbed his stuff and booked it out of the room to search for you, ignoring the protests of the teacher.

Donghyuck walked through the halls, searching high and low for you. He had no idea where he should be looking but that didn't stop him from checking every possible room in the school. His heart grew heavy as he was about to give up after about 10 minutes of searching. That's when he heard something.

It was a voice. Not just any voice, but a very familiar one, that was accompanied by a piano playing. Donghyuck followed the faint voice to a practice room in the music wing of the school. In stealth mode, the boy peaked through the window to see you at the piano. Your fingers danced upon the keys, your beautiful voice flowing from your lips. He was in awe at your talent, never once thinking you'd be into singing. At that moment, Donghyuck had fully and completely fallen head over heels for you, making him all that much more determined to fix what he had broken.

Gathering up the courage, Donghyuck knocks softly on the door, causing you to stop abruptly. You turn to see the boy waving sheepishly through the window, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Opening the door, you raise a brow.

"Oh, Donghyuck. Hi."

He waves gently, his shyness taking over. He takes a step inside and closes the door behind him.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

Donghyuck writes on his board and turns to show you.

I came to apologize. I heard your voice.

Your face pales. "Y-You heard me? I thought these rooms were soundproof." Your voice comes out quiet. "That's really embarrassing, oh my god."

Donghyuck's eyes widen. He shakes his head and waves his hands, indicating you misunderstood. He erases the writing before and replaces it.

No! I didn't mean anything bad. You sound amazing. Your voice is incredible!

A blush settles across your cheeks. "O-Oh, thank you."

I'm so sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it.

You read the words on his board and shake your head. "N-no, don't apologize. You have every right to feel that way." Your voice is quiet. "Just know I don't bug you because I pity you. I like you."

Donghyuck's face turns bright red at your words. He erases the words on his board quickly before writing again with a shaky hand.

I like you too. A lot.

Now it was your turn to blush. To Donghyuck's surprise, you grab his white board and wrote on it. He watches you curiously. You turn the board around to reveal the words you wrote.

Will you go out with me?🖤

Donghyuck's eyes widen once he reads the words, a smile brightening up his face. He suddenly grabs your hands and pulls you close to him. He laces his fingers with yours and nods, forming the word 'Yes' with his lips. You squeal and give him a quick peck on the cheek, causing his face to burn bright red.

The bell rings, signaling the end of the period. You smile at Donghyuck and grab your book bag, pulling him out of the practice room by the hand. The two of you walk through the halls to your next class, hand in hand. It doesn't take long for the students in the halls to notice this act of affection, causing everyone to stop and whisper. Donghyuck blushes, his anxiety rising, not liking the new attention on him. He looks at you out of the corner of his eyes, trying to gauge your reaction but you had nothing except a smile upon your beautiful face. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tightened his grip on your hand. If you weren't scared of the newfound attention, then neither would he be.

Unbeknownst to you, Yangyang watches closely from his locker, a scowl dripping from his features. He didn't like seeing Donghyuck gaining this sudden confidence, worried he'll once again raise up. He had to do something about it if he wanted to stay on top. And quick.

~~~

It's been two weeks since you and Donghyuck had made your relationship official. During those weeks, you could see a big difference between when you first met Donghyuck to now. While he remains mute and intimidated easily, his smile is a lot more common than not and he no longer hesitates to sit with his old group of friends. The rest of the boys were incredibly happy to see him be more sociable, especially Mark, thanking you regularly because of it. You still had issues with the rest of the student body, particularly YangYang, Xiaojun and Hendery. But having Donghyuck, Mark and the rest of the boys, you can't complain.

Today was Sunday and you had been invited over for dinner at Donghuck's house. He told you after the accident, his aunt had taken him in as her own son. Now you were laying on Donghyuck's bed next to him, feeling full after the nice dinner his aunt made you. You turn on your side to face Donghyuck, who was staring at the ceiling.

"Your aunt is really nice, Hyuck. I hope she likes me." You twiddle your fingers in nervousness.

Donghyuck smiles and grabs his white board.

Of course she does. Who wouldn't like you?

You chuckle. "Apparently everyone at school."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

Those idiots wouldn't know anything good if it smacked them in the face.

You laugh, smacking him in the shoulder. He grins at you, the sound of your laughter filling his ears like a melody. The two if you stare at each other in comfortable silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company. Getting bold, you shift your body so you were hovering over him. Donghyuck's face turns bright red at your current positioning. You lift your hand up, gently caressing his face.

"Hyuck? Can I kiss you?" You tilt your head.

The boy swallows the lump in his throat and nods quickly. You lean down and close your eyes, your lips connecting with his. Donghyuck freezes for a moment, nerves still taking over his body. But after a few seconds, his eyes flutter closed and he finally starts kissing back.

As your lips move against his, your feelings for him grow. His soft, plush lips feel amazing against yours, a perfect fit. As you continue to kiss him, he grows bolder. His arms snake around your waist and pull you down directly on top of him. He pushes into the kiss, causing it to deepen and turn passionate.

Donghyuck uses his strength and gently flips you over, with a squeak from you. He is now on top of you without breaking the kiss. His hand snakes its way up to your cheek and cups it. After about another minute of making out, he pulls away, lips slightly swollen and breathing heavy.

Your face mirror's his and you smile. "Wow. That was bold of you."

The boy smiles cheekily and gives you another peck on the lips before flopping next to you. You sit up and stretch your arms and legs.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom really fast."

Donghyuck nods and you make your way out of his room and towards the bathroom.

"Oh, Y/N!"

You turn around to see Donghyuck's aunt smiling from her bedroom door. You smile and bow your head in respect.

"Mrs. Lee. Once again, thank you for inviting me over. The dinner was lovely."

Mrs. Lee nods her head with a smile. "Absolutely. When Donghyuck told me he had a girlfriend, I was surprised. It's been awhile since he had anyone over…" she trails off. Suddenly, she pulls you into a tight hug, surprising you. "Thank you, Y/N. Because of you, Donghyuck is smiling again. I've been so worried about him since the accident. He's becoming himself once again, even if he's still not speaking. I'll take a smile any day."

You pat the woman on the back, a sad smile on your face. "He's an amazing boy. He deserves nothing but happiness. And I'm hoping to help him achieve it."

She pulls away and cups your cheek in her hand with a smile. "So, when's the wedding?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

You cough dramatically, choking on air. She laughs and pats you on the shoulder. "I'm only joking. Not that I would mind." She waves to you and retreats back into her room.

You giggle to yourself, your cheeks flushed red. You shake the images of you and Donghyuck getting married out of your head, proceeding to use the bathroom like you originally intended.

~~~

"Okay, why don't we add this here…" You stick your tongue out the side of your mouth in concentration.

You and Donghyuck were sitting in the empty music room, trying to compose your song together. Turns out, the music he was carrying in the cafeteria was a new piece he was writing. He wanted to ask you to help him before he was rudly interrupted by Hendery. But now here you were, writing together as he had finally asked you.

Donghyuck nods and plays the new melody on the piano, smiling when the music hits his ears. He gives you a happy thumbs up, happy with the addition. You start to talk but Donghyuck holds up a finger to stop you. You tilt your head as he writes on his board. He holds it up and you laugh.

Hold on, I need to go to the bathroom.

He leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips before happily walking out of the room. Your cheeks blush, a small giggle slipping from your lips. You go back to playing on the piano, waiting for your boyfriend to come back. A minute later, you hear the door open and close behind you.

"Boy, that was fast-" once you turn around, your words stop and your eyes narrow. "The hell do you want?"

YangYang smirks, his head tilted to the side. "What, I can't say hi to my favorite new girl?"

You roll your eyes. "Favorite, my ass. You always want something. Spit it out."

YangYang's smirk turns into a menacing look. He walks closer to you, causing you to slide further away on the piano bench. "I want to know why! Why did you choose that.. that FREAK over me?!"

You look taken aback at his question, a glare setting over your face. "What is it to you? Why the hell do you care who I date?"

Just then you hear the closing of a door. The 4 of you turn to see Donghyuck, who was frozen in place from seeing YangYang, Xiaojun and Hendery in the room. YangYang smirks slightly, turning back to you.

"What is it to me? The new girl turned me down for him!" YangYang points an accusing finger at a frozen Donghyuck. "Me! The most popular guy in the school for the school's freak!"

You stand, holding your hands up in front of you.  "You're fucking crazy! You don't even like me! Why would you even bother wanting me?"

YangYang pulls at his hair. "Because of him!" He points at Donghyuck once again. "He used to be the popular one! Everyone loved him, he got all the girls! And the one girl in this entire school that I liked, he took her! She wanted him, not me!" YangYang growls. "I wanted to be the popular one. I wanted everyone to like me more. I wanted her to like me! And when this freak just stopped talking a year ago, I was finally able to climb up to the top, where I belong!" He turns an accused finger to you. "And then you showed up. That's when everything started going downhill for me!"

Your eyes widen, anger set in them. You take a wide arch around YangYang to get to Donghyuck. "You're a jealous psycho!"

"I was going to take you from him. Like he took her from me!" Before you could make it to Donghyuck, YangYang grabs your wrist and pulls you to him. "You fucking embarrassed me!" You attempt to pull away from the boy but his grip tightens, causing you to whimper. "You owe me!"

"Get the fuck off of me!" You kick him in the shin and he groans but doesn't let go. You look over at Donghyuck who looks at YangYang's hand gripping your wrist. His eyes are wide, terrified of you getting hurt.

Xiaojun snickers, "Hyuck, you're just going to let YangYang do that to your girl? You're not going to say anything?" Donghyuck swallows, his jaw trembling but stays quiet. Xiaojun laughs louder. "Wow, how pathetic. Boyfriend of the year, right here."

You pull at YangYang again but he still doesn't let go. You glare at Xiaojun. "I don't need him to help me, I can handle myself. He's fine the way he is." You shift your eyes to Donghyuck and give him a small smile, reassuring him you're okay.

YangYang recovers from the shin kick, his icy glare turns menacing. He takes your other wrist and slams you up against the wall of the music room. You yelp in pain as your head hits the wall hard. "How dare you kick me!" He slams you again. "I told you you were on my radar, new girl. Now you're going to get it!" He slams you again and again, tears coming to your eyes.

"S-STOP!"

A new voice comes into the mix. Everyone stops what their doing and turns to the only other person in the room. Donghyuck.

YangYang turns to face him, a brow raised. "What? Did you say something?"

Donghyuck's fists clench, his eyes angry. He takes a step towards YangYang and opens his mouth. "I s-said stop."

Your eyes are wide, tears now flowing from hearing Donghyuck talk. YangYang raises a brow and busts out laughing. "So, the mute freak decided to finally open his mouth. What are you going to do if I don't?"

YangYang leans in close to you, his lips almost touching yours. But before he could, Donghyuck rips him away, a fist flying at his face. Donghyuck's fist makes contact with YangYang's face, sending him staggering backwards.

"Get the hell away from my girlfriend." Donghyuck breathes out, his fists clenched with a glare and standing in front of you.

YangYang shrieks, blood dripping down his cheek, his under eye already bruising. He straightens himself up, a psychotic, angry look on his face. "Oh, you are going to fucking pay for that, you little freak!"

You step around next to Donghyuck, your eyes icy. "If you so much as lay a fucking finger on him, I will tell the principal that you assaulted me first."

YangYang looks between the two of you, both mirroring each other's expressions towards him. Hendery places a hand on YangYang's shoulder. "Dude, let's just get out of here. We can't afford to get into any more trouble."

YangYang growls but nods. "This won't be the last time you hear from me. Trust me." A scowl spreads across his face. "We have the rest of the school year to settle this."

Donghyuck grinds his teeth. "It won't be as easy for you now."

YangYang huffs and wipes the blood from his cheek. He flips the two of you the finger before stomping off with Xiaojun and Hendery in tow. As soon as the door closes shut, Donghyuck sighs in relief. He turns to you.

"Y/N, are you ok- hey, why are you crying?"

He furrows his brows at the sight of tears in your eyes. Donghyuck reaches up to cup your face, gently brushing the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you bad?"

You shake your head, your lip quivering. "Y-You talked. You're talking to me. Right now." You smile, placing your hands on top of his.

Donghyuck's cheeks turn bright pink in embarrassment. He chuckles awkwardly. "Y-Yeah, I did." His face falls. "Y/N, I'm so sorry I haven't been standing up for you. All this time, I've let YangYang and his goons bully you, not saying anything. And all you've done is stand by my side and defend me with everything." He shakes his head, looking directly into your misty eyes. "But no more. From now on, I will defend you and stand by you no matter what. It's my turn to protect you."

Your lip quivers with every word, pulling him into a tight hug after his speech. Donghyuck wraps his arms tightly around you, burying his nose into your neck. "Hyuckie, that never bothered me. It didn't bother me when you were silent. I love you for how you are currently, not what you could become."

Donghyuck pulls away, a light smile on his lips, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Did you just say you love me?"

You squeak, your eyes widening as you realize your choice of words. Before you could respond, Donghyuck leans forward and captures your lips in his. You instantly melt into his body, kissing him back. The two of you stay like that for a while before you hear the door to the music room open and a flood of voices, making the two of you jump back.

"PDA isn't allowed in the school, you two hooligans!" Jaemin mocks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ya, get a room you two!" Chenle groans disgusted.

Donghyuck winks at you before speaking. "Well, we were in a room until you six barged in."

"Yeah, well, we-" Chenle stops abruptly after realizing who actually spoke to them.

The six boy's mouth hang open in shock, making you and Donghyuck giggle. Donghyuck smiles at the six boys. "You, what? Cat got your tongue?"

Suddenly, all the boys start shouting and running towards Donghyuck. You side step out of the way as 5 of the 6 boys tackle the once silent boy. Mark steps next to you, his voice low.

"Hey."

You turn to look at him with a smile, seeing tears in his eyes. He pulls you into a tight hug, his body shaking slightly. "Thank you. You don't know what it means to us that Hyuck is talking again." He pulls away with a small smile. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you."

You giggle and pat the boys shoulder. "I know how much he means to you boys. Thank you for sticking by him throughout this whole ordeal." You turn to watch your boyfriend, who's smiling and laughing with the group of rowdy boys. "He really means the world to me too."

Donghyuck smiles at his friends. "You guys should be thanking Y/N. She really helped me break down my walls."

Chenle turns to you, tears in his eyes and surprise attacks you with a hug. "Thank you so much, Y/N! You're an angel!"

The rest of the boys respond in a similar way, all bringing you into a giant group hug. You giggle and hug them back. Jaemin claps his hands after pulling away.

"Alright, let's celebrate! Ice Cream on Mark!"

"What?! No-" Everyone cheers over Mark's protests, immediately pulling each other to leave the room. Mark groans and follows them out.

You turn to Donghyuck and smile. "I would love to hear you sing, as a way to celebrate."

Donghyuck's smile falters, the old, anxious look he had when your first met returning. You chuckle softly and pecked him on the cheek. "Whenever you're ready, baby. Don't rush yourself."

Donghyuck sighs in relief and kisses your nose. He grabs your hand and pulls you along after the boys. "Come on, let's go get ice cream." You smile as he pulls you along, this moment giving you nothing but pure happiness.

[dearest-bucky]

Ask to be unbroken (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: What does it take to break down the walls of a scared, broken heart?

Words: 5.1K

Warnings: Sadness, emotionally traumatized reader, crying, fluffy ending of course!

A/n: I feel this fic on a personal level, considering this reader is loosely based on myself, so I really hope you guys will like it. Feedback is greatly appreciated! x

Originally posted: May 16, 2020

“Will you go on a date with me?”

Out of everything she could have imagined him ask, he went and asked her out on a date. Why would he do that anyway? Why would he want to go out with her? It’s not like she is the most beautiful girl in New York. Hell, she probably isn’t the most beautiful girl inside the small bookstore she owned, crowded with people as he asked the question that literally rendered her speechless.

Her mouth was suddenly dry and despite the fact that she knew it would have probably taken him a great deal to work up the courage and ask her on a date, she had to refuse.

Fumbling with the pages of the book that was currently in her hands, eyes not daring to meet his, she finally managed to speak up enough for him to hear. “I’m sorry, Bucky I don’t think that’s a good idea.” And that’s all it took for him to apologize too, before moving up from the chair he was sitting, right opposite of her  and left the bookstore without so much of another word.

It was just another work day at the bookstore, not too many people as there usually were, but enough to keep her on her feet all the time. The little bell that informed her of the door opening rang with it’s usual ring and her attention moved from the young student in front of her  to the direction of the door, where a tall, handsome man just entered. She greeted him with a smile as she did all of the people who came in the bookstore, before returning her gaze to the aforementioned girl, continuing to help her with the literature she needed.

Most of the people had bought whatever books they needed and left, leaving inside the bookstore only her with a couple of costumers, an old woman that was sitting in one of the armchairs near the window, reading a novel in peace, and as she looked in his direction again, the handsome stranger that she had seen for the first time in her life and in her shop. She was sure she would have remembered his face if he’d come before. He was moving along the shelves, looking for nothing in particular as it seemed, until Y/n cleared her throat before speaking to him. “Hi there, do you need help with finding anything?” Her voice was sweet and polite, just like every other time she spoke to anyone.

The stranger turned his body slightly in her direction, his eyes - the bluest she’d ever seen in her life, she concluded - meeting her figure. “ I-um.. I was actually just looking.” He spoke, unsure. That was a little weird, she thought, before he spoke up again, this time giving his tone a little more force, trying to sound more sure in himself. “My friend said I need to catch up on literature and I don’t know… Anything that is worth reading?” He finished, trailing as the question left his lips.

“Well, anything you are interested in? What do you usually enjoy reading?”

“I’m not sure…” His eyes drifted towards the shelf of books again as he tried to focus on reading the titles in front of him.

She looked at him curiously, then moved her eyes to the books too, not wanting to seem like a creep staring him down. “Don’t worry, I will help you find something.” She stretched her hand out to pat him on the forearm as a sign on friendliness - she always tried to make people feel welcome and touching was like her way of showing she cared - but as soon as she did so, she noticed him stiffen and take a step back from her, so she quickly retreated her halfway up hand, mumbling out an apology. As he retreated from her, she could notice a flicker of silver shine from the little ridden up sleeve of his hoodie and her mind clicked in recognition.

He could only muster up a half smile and shook his head to let her know it was okay, and they both walked to the front of the shop, where the old lady was still present with her nose buried in the book she was holding in her old, a little shaky hands.

She moved calmly and carefully around the desk that served also as the cash registering place for all the buying and sells and opened a drawer under the said desk, holding two books, that looked, from their appearance older than she was. She straightened her blouse before turning to him again, a small smile resting on her lips despite the awkward situation just a couple of minutes ago.

“Here.” She said and offered the books to him, careful to not touch his hands as he took them from her. He inspected the books, reading their titles in a mumbled voice before looking up to her again, a small smile making its way on his own lips.

“How much are these?” He asked and she only shook her head before responding again.

“These are actually not for sale. They’re first editions and very valuable to me, but I’m willing to lend them to you so you can read them. If you like them you can come back and then buy something else.” She finished, her smile widening more as she spoke, but he only squinted his eyes in disbelief at her action. She was too trusting for her own good, he thought and he couldn’t help the question from slipping past his lips.

“How are you so sure I’ll bring your books back?“Something flickered in her eyes, amusement, glee, he wasn’t sure what was it, only looking at her pointedly as he waited for her to respond.

"Well, I’m no genius or whatever, but I wouldn’t suspect of Bucky Barnes as a book thief.” His eyes widened in shock, for a short second, before he took in a quick breath he didn’t know he was short of. She had recognized him. But that wasn’t the real important thing. She had recognized him and she wasn’t scared of him. A ghost of a smile formed on his lips in wonder.

After that day he had come back to the bookstore again and again. At first, his visits were sporadic and short, long enough only to exchange books with her and then leave, but after the first two months of that he started to visit more often, until after three months, he would stop everyday at the bookstore. He’d spend most of his time there, the small bell informing of his arrival early in the morning, only a half hour after she opened, two cups of coffee in one hand and a paper bag of pastries in the other, their usual breakfast. He’d usually talk with Y/n and help her organize the books on shelves, or when there were too many costumers and she needed to be with them, he’d sit on the purple armchair opposite the old woman - he’d learned her name was Pearl - and read a book of his own.

Whenever he was on a mission, he’d make sure to let her know he couldn’t make it to the shop that day or however long it took and it was 8 months later and he was feeling himself fall a little more every day for her.

She had this calm presence that he almost craved, what with his crazy life as an Avenger, and she was always kind and sweet. And not only to him. She treated everyone she met with the same kindness, always careful when she spoke, making sure each person she interacted with was feeling comfortable in her presence. And he loved her for that. Up until now, their meetings were only limited in the small space of her bookstore and while it pleased Bucky to simply be in her company, he wanted to get to know her outside her shell of a shop too.

Usually, when she closed around 9 pm, he’d be with her to help her until the end, but they always separated their ways in front of the small pink door of the book store, him mounting his motorcycle and riding to the compound, and her walking the short distance of two blocks until her apartment.

That night though, Bucky didn’t want to be separated from her just yet, so he offered to walk her  and after a small moment of hesitance, she slowly nodded her head. “I can come back for my bike later.” He said as they made their way in the direction of her apartment.

They were walking slowly beside each other, the sounds of New York City never dying as they tried to hold a conversation. Despite having known him for almost a year now, she still didn’t dare be too intrusive, knowing how he struggled with almost everything after all that had happened to him. And she didn’t blame him at all for that, she could never. She respected him too much for that.

“We have a mission tomorrow.” He said as they walked, kind of out of the blue, considering they had been talking about the drinking habits of Hemingway just a moment ago before they’d fallen in a comfortable silence.

“Oh.” It was the only thing that left her lips. She knew his job as an Avenger was demanding, keeping him away on missions more often than not, but she couldn’t say anything about it. She could only worry in silence.

“Yeah, um, it will probably last a week or two. Depends on how helpful Sam is in this one.” He tried to joke, noticing how she had visibly stiffened a little when he turned his head on the side to look at her. But she didn’t laugh. She didn’t even smile. It was as if she hadn’t heard him at all.

Voices shouting, nearing them with each passing second could be heard and Bucky turned to the direction of the noises to assess the situation,  his body working on auto pilot, looking around for possible threats. All he was met though were the loud, screeching voice of a woman and the grunts and yells of a man following behind her. They seemed like just another couple fighting so he let them be, not one to meddle in other people’s business as long as they didn’t hurt anybody. People were looking at them intently, eager to follow the drama unfolding before them, but he simply shook his head at the sight and turned to look again at Y/n, only to not find her beside him where she was a moment ago. He was so confused for a second, until he saw her in front of him, walking alone, trying to get away from all the yelling and cursing.

With a few quick strides he was able to catch up with her, his right hand taking a light hold of her wrist, stopping her dead on her tracks. “Y/n?” He turned her to look at him, confused by her behavior. “What happened?”

She didn’t speak right away, only picked up her head to slowly meet his eyes, her own glazed with unshed tears and his confusion turned to worry, he was quick to place a hand on her cheek and caress the soft skin of her face. “Hey, are you okay?” His voice was small and cautious, as if he was scared she’d explode like a bomb if he weren’t extra delicate with her. She only nodded her head and took a step back, his hand falling down from her face while she did so.

“Y-yeah.” She stammered out. “I’m okay, I just need to go home.” As soon as she finished her sentence she turned to walk again, confusing Bucky even more but he didn’t let her go away, following behind her and walking beside her until they arrived in front of a tall building and she stopped. The remainder of the way they had walked in silence, so when she turned to him, looking a little more put together than 10 minutes ago, he let out a small sigh of relief.

“This is me.” She spoke up and he could only offer her a small smile in return, not really knowing what else to say. She didn’t let him too much time to think though, as she spoke again. “Thanks for walking me. Good night Bucky.” Her voice was smaller than usual, as if she was scared of him and he couldn’t understand what happened that caused her change in demeanor, but he wasn’t about to let her go like that. He carefully wrapped his hand around her wrist again, just like he did before.

“I’ll text you when I’m away, okay?” He said to her, a hopeful glint in his eyes despite the timid tone of his voice as he said those words.

“Okay.” She replied, just a simple word before turning to walk towards the entrance of the building.

“Good night Y/n.” He spoke behind her, loud enough for her to hear despite the distance between them as she walked. She only turned her head back to offer him a small smile, before disappearing inside the building. That was all he needed anyway.

True to his word, Bucky had texted her as much as he could during the entire time he was away on his mission. Despite the slightly awkward way they parted the other night, he texted her as if nothing had happened, complaining about something Sam did, as usual, asking about her day, her work, the shop, Pearl, chatting the days away until he’d come back.

It was more than two weeks later that he did come back. 18 days to be exact, but who was counting? Certainly not Y/n. Despite the constant texts they exchanged, she missed not having him there with her at the bookstore. She missed seeing him reading in silence opposite to Pearl, stealing glances her way that he’d thought she didn’t notice while she was talking with other costumers. She missed the way his eyes wrinkled when he laughed at something Pearl said to him, or the way his brows pinched together in concentration when he focused on the pages of the books, the way his tongue poked out slightly, wetting his lips as he changed the pages. He had become a constant in her life, slowly but surely warming his way inside her heart.

When he first entered her shop she didn’t recognize him, but then after the dead giveaway that was his metal appendage she’d scolded herself for not identifying him sooner. She’s have saved herself the embarrassment and the awkwardness of that day. She still had managed to recover the situation rather nicely though.

Now as she sat close to Pearl, talking about no other than one Bucky Barnes, she couldn’t help the feeling of anxiety in her chest. She was starting to feel more than she should for him and it would be recommendable to stop before that went too far.

“I’m not saying that.” She tried to reason with the older woman who was without a doubt the most stubborn person on the planet. “I’m just saying that I’ve had enough of messed up relationships in my life I don’t need another one.”

Pearl scoffed in annoyance at her words. If there was someone she knew almost as well as she knew herself, that was Y/n. For almost five years now, she’d been a regular at the bookstore and getting to know the young woman, she’d concluded she was an amazing person who deserved only the very best of everything life could offer her. But she also had a lot of traumas from her past, relating mainly to the family she was raised in.

Her parents would fight a lot, her house never being a quiet and loving home, never a good enough place and environment to raise a child. Living in a war zone, as she usually called it, for the lack of a better word from her part, Y/n had swore she’d never become the same person as her parents were. When she was 18 and had just graduated high school, she’d left her hometown and moved to New York, alone, not knowing anyone in the city, but she’d made it, almost. 10 years later and she was a whole different person from the emotionally wounded girl she’d been when she had left her house, but no matter how much time had passed, the scars had left their marks. All over her soul.

“Listen to me sweetie.” Pearl started, determined to make her listen, and not only with her ears but also with her heart. “I know what you’re scared of, but you’re nothing like your parents. You’re a gentle soul and you’d never turn out to become like your mother and he is so kind and careful and his eyes shine so bright whenever he looks at you, it’s adorable.” She stopped for a moment to draw in a short breath and then with dreamy eyes, fixed her sight to Y/n, before speaking again. “Reminds me of my darling Rob.”

Y/n smiled at her last words, knowing Pearl’s story with her late husband Robert. It was one of her favorite love stories, but despite everything Pearl had told her, sharing her life with the younger woman in hopes to make her open up her mind and her heart to the possibilities of love, Y/n was still held prisoner of her childhood trauma. A miserable family makes for miserable kids. And miserable kids makes even more miserable adults.

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in love, because she did, she just didn’t believe love was for her. A loving family wasn’t in the cards for her. It never was anyway. Not even when she was an innocent child, still unfamiliar with the heartbreak and pain. Her very soul had been broken by the two people who were supposed to never hurt her, but she guessed it was what it was.

She would reply to Pearl again, but she stopped when she heard the bell on the door alert her of people coming in the shop. She turned her head to look at the new company and was surprised to see Bucky, smiling sheepishly at her from where he was standing. She gave a look to Pearl, who was smirking from her seat and got up from her own chair and walked to him, him meeting her halfway.

She held her breath as she took him in, he looked just like the last time she’d seen him, if only more handsome. There was a faint bruise on his cheekbone and she winced as she moved her hand up to brush her fingers lightly on it. “Hi.” She finally managed to speak a little breathless, but he didn’t seem to notice, too lost in her eyes to pay attention to the tone of her voice.

A long minute passed before he broke off the trance he was in and finally managed to whisper back to her. “Hi, doll.”

She was about to say something else, anything really, wanting to ask him about the mission, despite the fact that he wouldn’t be able to tell her much, to ask him if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he had eaten anything, but she couldn’t bring herself to form the words as she stared in his ocean blue eyes. And just after another short moment, the bell of the shop rang again and more people entered, as if Bucky had brought them with him.

They had to move away from each other as people roamed around the place, and Bucky walked to Pearl to greet her with a light hug. She patted his cheek affectionately in return and Y/n swore she caught the hint of a blush creep up his cheeks at the older woman’s gesture, it was endearing. However she didn’t have time to stay and watch them as she was needed to help a kid no more than 12 years old find a book.

After some time, she was finally able to take a breath and sit down, seeing nobody needed her help for the moment, the people around roaming through the shelves and fending for themselves. She walked to the corner Bucky was sitting with Pearl, but the latter wasn’t there anymore. Y/n raised her eyebrow in question as she sat down to the chair she had been previously sitting.

“To the vendor outside.” He pointed outside the window, seeing a street vendor sell hot dogs and cotton candy. She could see Pearl talking to the men and she smiled at the sight, before turning her attention to Bucky.

“How are you? How was the mission?” She asked, sincerity and care evident in her voice.

“Too long.” Were his only words of reply and she only nodded at him. Too long to go without seeing your face everyday , he wanted to say but didn’t dare speak those words.

A long silence stretched between them, neither of them knowing what else to say. They had both missed each other so much but neither was about to admit that out loud. Too scared, too anxious to mess anything up.

After what felt like too long for his liking, Bucky finally managed to clear his throat, as if the very action would help him gain some courage to speak up. “I-um.. I was actually wondering…” He started to speak, so unsure in himself it made Y/n think of the first time they’d met and he’d spoken to her. “Well, I’ve been thinking while I was away, and I wanted to ask you something.” He finally managed to drawl out the words.

He knew there was no turning back after this, once the words left his mouth, things would change between them, but if he didn’t ask he’d drive himself crazy with the thoughts of what ifs. So he steeled his nerves before speaking up again.

I like you Y/n,“ He started again and saw her eyes widen at his confession. "I really do like you, and I was hoping we could go out sometimes, you know…” He trailed, unsure of how to finish, but she didn’t speak so he had to fill the quietness somehow, too nervous to bare the sound of silence. “So, will you go on a date with me?”

He was staring at her, hoping to hell that she said something before he lost his nerve and broke down in front of her. Hopeful eyes were staring up at her own confused, scared? ones and he couldn’t help the panic that rose in his chest, already knowing what her answer would be.

“I’m sorry, Bucky I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her voice felt distant as she spoke the words and he couldn’t stand to be in her presence anymore, too ashamed to even look in her eyes now. He nodded his head - not asking for another explanation, he got his answer - and walked out of the book store without another glance back.

He felt foolish. He had ruined everything because he’d caught feelings for her. He had wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was glad he went for ‘like’ instead, otherwise it would’ve been twice as embarrassing. It was enough that he had killed himself for more than two weeks trying to muster up the courage and let her know how he felt. Now of course she thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to date him. Who in their right mind would want to date him anyway? He knew all too well what was wrong with him, but it didn’t mean her rejection hurt any less because of that.

He almost crashed into Pearl as she was walking back to the bookstore and with a quick apologize to her, he practically ran to his bike, wanting nothing more than to get away from there.

Y/n was inside the shop, face hidden in her hands when Pearl  re-entered, confusion written on her features. “What happened?” She asked, sounding almost alarmed, and only then did Y/n pick up her head to look at the older woman, tears streaming down her cheeks rapidly.

Pearl walked to her and placed the food she’d bought on the small table before placing both her hands on Y/n’s shoulder and that was all it took for the girl to hug her tightly, sobbing in her chest like a small child, afraid and hurt.

“Shh.. It’s okay dove.” She reassured, voice calm and sweet as she patted her back softly. If the other people inside the shop saw the entire scene unfold in front of them, they didn’t dare stare for too long, each minding their own business,  focused on different books on their hands.

“I think I messed up.” She said in between sobs, loud enough for Pearl to hear.

“What happened?”

“He asked me on a date and I rejected him.” She explained shortly, the older woman urging her to calm her breathing pattern, to stop the heavy sobs and crying. Eventually she did and wiped her face with the back of her hands, releasing her grip on Pearl and moving to sit on the chair next to hers.

“It’s okay.. Everything will be okay.” The woman kept repeating until it became some sort of a mantra to both of them.

It had been nearly a week since the day he’d asked her out and she said no, and ever since that day, he never came back to the bookstore again, never texted her or called her. Y/n could understand his reasoning. He had every right to cut her off, after the way she’d let him down without so much as an explanation. Not that she owed anyone any explanation for simply saying no, but this was Bucky she was talking about. He deserved anything she could give him and then some more. But she’d been scared, and honestly she still was. The emotional trauma she’d experienced from her parents relationship was still scarring her, but she wanted to put an end to it. She wanted to break free from that. She wanted to be able to love Bucky and have him love her in return and be happy with him. It could happen, couldn’t it?

She had tried to pull herself together and text him or call him and ask to see him again, but every time she picked up her phone to do so, she’d lose the nerve and throw it carelessly away.

After the long day she had, leaving her exhausted not only physically but also emotionally, she finally managed to wrap things up for the day, ready to close the shop and call it a day. Outside the rain was pouring down like crazy, it wasn’t even normal considering it was almost the end of spring and she was wondering how’d she get home in this weather without an umbrella. It wasn’t raining in the morning when she had left her apartment anyway.

She was placing the large notebook where she kept her records of the shop in the drawer under her desk, ready to take off when the too familiar ring of the bell was heard and without looking up, she answered in auto pilot, voice polite as always, but a hint of tiredness was evident in it. “Sorry, I’m closing up now. You could come back tomorrow.”

She picked her head up to look at the new presence in the shop and when her eyes met his figure her breath hitched behind her throat. Bucky. There he was, sopping wet, droplets of rain dripping from his hair and his clothes to the floor, making a puddle around him. He carefully pulled out a book from inside his jacket and walked towards Y/n, placing the book on her desk.

“I just came to return this. I’m gonna leave now.” His voice was thick with emotion, as if he was trying to hold back tears or something and Y/n couldn’t help but feel guilty for that. It’d been her fault that he seemed so sad, so… miserable.

Yeah, miserable she thought. Miserable people only make other miserable people. But as she saw him turn around to leave, just like he had the last time she’d seen him, she decided right then and there that she was done being a miserable person. She was done being scared, she was done closing her heart off, done running away from her feelings.

“Bucky…” it escaped her lips almost in a hurry, afraid if she lost another second he’d leave again, but he heard her and he turned around instantly, as if he had waited for her to call him. She walked around her desk and towards him, her steps slow but sure as she closed the distance between them both. He could only stare at her in disbelief as she neared him, too scared to move as if she’d disappear if he did anything uncalculated.

Without so much as another word, she placed both of her hands on his wet cheeks and hesitantly placed her lips on his. She kissed him sweetly, but she broke the contact way too soon, seeing he hadn’t returned the kiss at all.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I just…” She let go of his face, trying to take a step back but he didn’t let her, his hands finding her waist and keeping her still there. He kept looking at her, waiting for her to say something else, his hands squeezing her waist in a silent encouragement for her to speak again, so she did. “Ask me again, please?” Her voice was small as she said those words but Bucky didn’t miss it, a ghost of a smile creeping up his lips.

He waited a bit before parting his lips to form the words. “Will you go on a date with me?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and she couldn’t suppress the smile that bloomed on her own lips upon hearing his voice. “Yes Bucky, I would love to.” She replied sweetly with the words she should have said the first time he asked her.  His smile widened at her response and this time he was the one to lock their lips in a kiss, hesitant at first, then confident but always sweet and gentle.

As Bucky kissed her lips, she could feel her walls crumbling down with loud thuds and echoes inside her soul, but she could tell she was safe with him. She had a long way to go before she could be 100% free of every insecurity and past pain, but being in his arms, there was no doubt she’d ever be broken again.

[wallofweird]

hi fae, how do you feel about people saying that kevin only tolerates madison bc of kate and therefore they won't work? :/

Hi! Well, I think these people are definitely not watching This Is Us (or any type of television, for that matter) or living on Earth. Or seeing and unseeing things according to their pre-established opinions. Either way, that’s absolutely not true. On most of their interactions Kevin is polite, as you can see it here:

I love this part because there are at least three other guests closer to him but she is the first person he offers a glass of champagne... If you pay attention to the scene, he is holding THREE glasses. He gives one to Madison and he puts another on a shelf, I don’t know about the third, but there were definitely more women in the room that could’ve had that(those) glass(es), he just didn’t care, lol. Also, Rebecca is looking and smiling at him, but he doesn’t even notice it because he is too busy looking at Madi... I mean, another direction.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Kevin doesn’t look very happy with the idea of dancing and still he doesn’t protest.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

This gif doesn’t show it, but he turns his head and watches Madison as she walks away just like on gif number 4.

Siding with her during a conversation with Kate.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Comforting Madison.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/618991372262916096/kevin-looking-at-madison-nothing-but-blue-skies

He isn’t smiling here, but does this seem to be a person that is annoyed with the other? He has soft, delicate, gentle eyes while looking at her.

And this whole thing about Kevin despising Madison and only tolerating her because of Kate is even more ridiculous because on this scene he is basically begging her to invite him to come inside.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

If he thought her company was so unpleasant, why would he accept it in the first place? He could’ve left and gone to Rebecca’s house instead, or come back after Toby got back from work, he could’ve called Randall, or Nicky, or simply gone somewhere else to make new friends because it’s not like struggles when he socializes with strangers.

And here is what Madison had to say about her night with him:

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/617836054621339648/do-you-want-to-know-why-i-think-i-slept-with

He made her feel comfortable enough to be her true self and he ended up spending at least a few hours with Madison. He spent the night at her place and only left the next morning... If her presence were so repellent, why didn’t he leave after the sex? Madison didn’t point a gun at him and forced him to stay. Even after he woke up, he kept lying next to her on the bed without a shirt on... Plus, there was the option of leaving without saying anything while she was asleep, but he didn’t do that.

Actually, the only time I believe Kevin was rude to her was at the hospital, but you have to analyze the context: his sister went into early labor, there was an endless list of possible complications to the baby and herself, it took hours until Kevin got some information, Kevin had been drinking, he was dealing with his failed attempt to connect with his uncle, the frustration of having relapsed after an entire year of being sober, feeling guilty for lying to everyone about it and the fear of losing Zoe because of those lies. He was going through A LOT. Those were probably some of the hardest hours of his life. Yet, at first he treated her just fine, it was the fact she wouldn’t stop talking (because that’s the way she was coping with the situation and usually what he does too when he’s sober, btw) that he said those things to her. Now, I don’t drink, but as far as I know people on hangover usually have headaches so it’s not weird that they will avoid noises and I remember Kevin saying a few minutes before that he was on hangover.

I also remember that he immediately regretted it and apologized to Madison, but she didn’t listen and left (I don’t blame her). And when she walked away he was hit by a dose of consciousness and realized his was being “an ass” and apologized to his family. She wasn’t the only one, he was snapping at everybody, because it wasn’t Madison, Randall or anyone else that was annoying him. It wasn’t personal. It was the stress of the entire situation that was making Kevin take it out on everybody. Plus, even though he didn’t specifically snap at Zoe, when he went outside to get some air and clear his head, she offered him company and Kevin shut her out.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/618572824853069824/im-sorry-what-exactly-are-you-doing-here

By the way, Kevin bumped into Madison when he was getting out of the elevator and attempted to apologize for a second time.

Another scene people use as an ‘example’ of rudeness is this moment on the season finale, but I sincerely disagree. Here’s why:

Kevin was in the middle of a heated fight with his brother and that was almost getting physical when Madison arrived for the party.

And when she showed up at the door he just told her the truth: it wasn’t a good time.

Now, does that look like an angry, utterly annoyed and disdainful face for you? Because the way I see it, it’s just a guy who’s weary and not in his best state of mind, which is comprehensible since he was in a middle of an argument, his mother’s health is deteriorating, Randall had talked her into doing a clinical trial in the other side of the country despite her previous refusal and that’s just SOME of the heavy stuff he was dealing with at that specific moment.

However, Madison doesn’t bother and enters the place anyway.

And Kevin doesn’t yell at her, protest or leaves, he just lets her in and closes the door.

Again: does this look like he hates Madison so much like some people make it seem?

THIS is being annoyed and/or angry:

CREDIT: https://rostovarps.tumblr.com/post/165520445651/kevin-pearson-in-this-is-us-01x07-the-best

CREDIT: https://adyadintheforce.tumblr.com/post/177326964546/shame-on-all-of-us

And this is just being upset, tired, feeling like all your energy has been drained out of your body:

If you watch the scene, his face on the picture above and on this gif has identical expressions:

CREDIT: https://ltbelanna.tumblr.com/post/189147462109/this-is-us-4x08-sorry-im-sorry-me-too-see

And really, how did these people expect him to react? Did they expect him to smile, kiss her and propose a second round of hookup? His reaction made perfect sense to everything that was happening at the time.

Do they believe things would’ve been different if it had been someone else at the door, like Kate’s neighbor Gregory or somebody from her support group? Do they think that if it had been another person he would’ve hugged them, offer coffee and crack jokes? That the problem was Madison and not the situation he was in with Randall and Rebecca? 

Anywaaaay, by the end of their conversation he had already softened up and was even slightly smiling at her. 

CREDIT: https://millennial-mess.tumblr.com/post/613565105725194240/im-so-sick-of-chasing-ghosts-im-tired-of

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/620438418688704513/you-da-best

Sure, it wan’t a wide smile because it wasn’t like his problems had disappeared all of a sudden, but he had found a silver lining in the midst of everything.

And being exhausted, upset, annoyed, stressed or angry is part of the human experience and part of being in a relationship of ANY KIND: romantic, platonic, familial. Taking it out on someone can happen sometimes as well. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. People are not perfect. People are not robots. They navigate through negative feelings and emotions too. It’s how things are in real life and also how things are on television, specially on This Is Us, which is a show that focuses on relationships and emotions.

Jack and Rebecca, Beth and Randall, Kate and Toby, Randall and Kevin, Kevin and Kate, Nicky and Kevin, Kevin and Sophie, William and Randall, Kevin and Cassidy all had moments like this... The list goes on. Would the same people define these relationships/friendships as unsuccessful and fake because of a few unfriendly moments? I doubt it, because what really defines a relationship as healthy and successful is the people’s ability to recognize their own mistakes, forgive each other, work on themselves as individuals and as friends/a couple/a family and getting even closer and stronger after facing the hardships. It’s not smiling, talking, hugging and kissing 24/7 because nobody does that. Maybe for a few days and weeks, but you won’t last even a month behaving like this, let alone YEARS.

And the complications are also what keep the story interesting and engaging. I don’t mean something like toxicity and abuse, but if couples, relatives and friends don’t disagree, argue and face problems out and within their relationship, the show doesn’t go anywhere. There must be conflict. There must be drama. And there must be happiness. It’s about balancing these aspects out.

If they want to watch something that’s always sunshine and rainbows and where the characters are always happy, they should watch a TV show targeted to three-year-old children, because honestly This Is Us has never been and will never be this kind of show. 

And we know Kevin has a pregnant fiancee on season 5 and since This Is Us is not a soap opera, I seriously doubt Kevin will go out there impregnating multiple women with multiple children and multiple sets of twins. I reckon it’s safe to say it’s Madison. That means they will go through one of the most amazing and yet vulnerable and challenging experiences two people can ever face and instead of pulling them apart, it will only bring them closer to the point they will get engaged. For me, this sounds like a relationship that is DEFINITELY WORKING.

[thepatricktreestump]

Crush pt2 - peter parker imagine

crush masterlist

part 2 – an apartment in queens

               The following weeks you found yourself sitting at Peter Parker’s lunch table nearly every day. You slowly got to know him better, understanding his passion for photography, his love for Star Wars, and of course, his obsession with science puns. Alongside him, you also got to know his friends, MJ and Ned. MJ was more laid back and careless than Peter, messy hair and doodling in class, dark humor and straight-to-the-point conversation. She wasn’t like the other girls you knew who liked to gossip about drama or swoon over boys. Instead she talked about true crime and conspiracy theories. Ned was a lot like Peter, minus the anxiety. He was a goofball who enjoyed LEGOs and read comic books and was always excited to announce whatever latest movie just came out or NASA’s newest discovery. His friends were interesting and cool, and you enjoyed hanging out with them a lot too. Of course, they weren’t nearly as charming and polite as Peter was, but you liked the company all the same. MJ was reliable in recommending you good music and Ned in showing you memes he thought you’d appreciate.

               As far as Peter goes, when you weren’t sending silly selfies to each other or texting paragraphs back and forth over the phone, you both made an effort to spend time together at school. Study hall slowly became a regular thing between the two of you. After the dismissal bell rang, you would meet at the cafeteria vending machines to grab snacks, and then spread your textbooks out on a library table and breeze through your homework, sharing jokes and stories about the school day or whatever else was going on in your lives at the time. However, approaching the library that evening, both of you instantly pouted at the notice posted on the door.

               “Closed for SAT prep,” Peter read aloud. “Uh oh.”

               “You’ve got to be kidding me,” you stared at the piece of paper taped to the entrance, letting out a small huff. “We have a test tomorrow and to be completely honest, I haven’t even read the last two chapters yet.”

               “I have,” Peter piped up. “I can fill you in if you want, you can borrow notes.” He turned to face you and narrowed his eyes. “Although it’s not like you to be slacking on an assignment. What’s up?”

               “I’ve just been helping my dad with this uh, this project lately,” you replied. “I’m trying to figure out how to improve computation time through admissible heuristic-”

               “A* yeah,” Peter blurted, recognizing your words, and you paused, thoroughly impressed.

               “Wait! Parker, you’re telling me you know algorithms?” you stood there, jaw still hanging in surprise.

               “Sure, I am a computer geek after all,” he chuckled softly, flexing a humble brag. “I have a bit of experience in computer science, if you ever want a helping hand.”

               “Holy shit,” you blinked, thinking to yourself, as if he couldn’t get any hotter?

               “Anyways, you should really get on those chapters. You know this exam makes up ten percent of our grade for the quarter.” He pauses to think for a moment and then his eyes light up with an idea. “Let’s hang at my place and I can catch you up,” he offers, and you look at him incredulously, practically delirious at this point.

               “Y-you want me to come over?” you raise an eyebrow and he stiffens, hesitant.

               “Uh, I mean, if you’re okay with that,” he explains. “I just thought since the library was closed, you know, we could find a different place to study. It doesn’t have to be my place we can go to a coffee shop or the park or something-”

               “No, no your place sounds perfect,” you insisted, head reeling at the fact that your crush just invited you to their house.

               “Awesome, cause I know a really good pizza place on the way,” he grins and you think you could melt on the spot right there.

               Peter doesn’t live very far from Midtown at all, just a couple transfers. And as far as pizza recommendations go, he knows the very best spot in town. It’s obvious he’s a Queens kid, the way he walks about the city and interacts with the people, it’s like there’s nowhere else he could ever possibly belong. It’s heartwarming, to see the way he talks about his favorite shops and people, pointing out little things like good climbing trees and perfect awnings for being caught in the rain. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he created the city himself, the way he was familiarized with everything. It was impressive.

               Your dad didn’t really let you out of the tower to roam much. Happy usually escorted you around a in a car or he insisted you take a taxi rather than the subway. When you did go out, it was usually in his company, to a fancy party or a conference hall, a five-star restaurant or a prestigious academy. Being raised surrounded with such success and wealth was a blessing, and you were ever grateful for it, but it was times like these when you wondered what it would’ve been like to just be a normal kid. To be able to explore and meet others and know the city as well as Peter does, every little hideout and bodega, the best spot to watch the sunrise or grab a sandwich.

               “Well uh, this is it,” Peter clutched onto the straps of his backpack, giving a nervous smile. “It might not be much, but it’s my home. It’s just me and my Aunt May, she’s the one who pretty much raised me so…” He shrugged and then opened up the door, you being sure to take everything in.

               “Oh my gosh Peter! Hi! How was school today? Oh! And you brought a friend!” a bubbly brunette with glasses greeted both of you, scooping up Peter in a hug, and you instantly knew she must be Aunt May. “Hi dear, I’m Aunt May and you are?”

               “This is y/n, remember?” Peter introduced you and you raised an eyebrow at that last part, noting the way that he must’ve mentioned you to her before. You tried to hide the blush rising to your cheeks.

               “Y/n? Oh yes, how could I forget your-” May paused immediately upon Peter’s terrified eyes and nodded slowly. “Your uh, your?”

               “My friend,” he smiled. “She’s my friend, May.”

               “Right. Awesome,” she looked at you and you could sense her suspicion, that they were hiding something, but you dismissed it and smiled back. “I’m so glad you could come visit today, Miss Y/n! Peter’s told me so much about you.” You looked at Peter and he gave you terrified eyes, making you laugh. “Oh, was I not supposed to say that?” May turned to you and you laughed harder, reassuring her it was just fine, but inside, your head was reeling. Peter had talked to her about you before? You just hoped it was all good things.

               “Anyways… We’re gonna study for our test, so we’ll be in my room. Just knock if you need me,” Peter explained, and to your surprise, grabbed you by the hand and led you down the hall, heart fluttering in your chest every step of the way. He dumped his bookbag on the ground and shut the door, flopping onto his bed, sighing. “Sorry that’s my Aunt May, she can be a little overbearing at times.”

               “No, no, you’re all fine,” you reassured, taking a seat next to him at the edge of his bed. “I get it. My dad can be a lot like that too. Lots of questions and pestering- it’s just cause they care about us, you know.”

               “Yeah, I appreciate that,” Peter smiled softly, leaning up and looking at you, noticing the way you pressed your lips together, waiting to ask something. “What?”

               “You told her about me?” you wondered, and he swallowed nervously, clearly embarrassed.

               “I mean, uh… Yeah. I did…” He paused, staring at the floor. “Is that okay?” he asked, scared. “I mean, I tell Aunt May about everything, she’s sort of my best friend- but not in a weird way, she’s my aunt you know, but-”

               “You’re fine, Peter,” you laughed. “I’m just giving you a hard time.”

               “Oh,” he grew quiet, letting out a soft sigh of relief as you laughed a bit harder, smiling at him. He looked back at you, face reddening, hazel eyes softened. “You have a nice laugh, you know.”

               “Really?” you cocked your head to the side, growing self-conscious. “I always thought it was a bit too obnoxious.”

               “No, it’s genuine,” he shook his head, insisting. “I like it a lot.” He looked down towards his feet and started to pull out some textbooks from his backpack, and you could’ve sworn you heard him mumble. “I could probably listen to it all day.”

               Reading classic English literature was never the most exciting way to pass time, but with Peter, it instantly became your favorite hobby. Both of you impersonated characters and made fun of the old dialect, as well as sprinkled in vine references at every appropriate moment. While writing notes, you doodled cartoons in the margins and decorated them with stickers. It was like hanging out with Peter outside of school made doing school related things much less nerve wracking. It gave you the freedom to be laid back, boisterous, and most of all, handsy. Throughout studying you found yourselves guilty of seeming to find any excuse to touch the other, whether it was poking, tickling, pulling hair, slugging a shoulder, or tugging on a sleeve. At one point, Peter even leaned against your side, resting his head on your shoulder and watching as you scrawled down notes, making your head dizzy.

               A notification went off on Peter’s phone and he sighed, walking over to where it was charged on his desk before staring intently. “Woah,” he held his phone screen up to you with the displayed time. “I didn’t even know it was this late! I’m sorry.”

              “Oh no,” you glanced at your own phone, spotting the several missed calls and texts from your father, sighing. You didn’t want to leave, but you knew you had to. You didn’t want to dig yourself a deeper hole. Shooting your dad a couple texts and asking Happy to come pick you up, you groaned, realizing there was no avoiding explanations on this one. The school library wouldn’t have even been open for study hall at this time if you said you were there. “Shit, I’ve got to go. I’m sorry, Peter.”

              “It’s okay,” he insisted, although you could sense his disappointment too. “Maybe another time?”

              “Definitely,” you grinned. “I think I like hanging here much better than the library. You even have a periodic table up on your wall for reference.”

              “Exactly!” he pointed out, overexcited, and you giggled at his enthusiasm. “The library’s got nothing on us.”

              “It’s a lot quieter in here too,” you added. “Which is ironic, because you’d think a library is the quietest place there is.”

              “Not in a high school it’s not,” Peter shook his head and you laughed alongside him.

              “You got that right,” you agreed.

              Gathering up your things into your bookbag, you joked back and forth with him, until you were about to head out the door and he stopped you, making you freeze. “C-can I ask you something?” he wondered and you stared up at him, wide eyed, nervous. “I’ve sort of been meaning to ask you but I get nervous sometimes and I didn’t know how you’d react but uh-”

              “What’s up, Parker?” you smirked, having a feeling that whatever was about to happen could only lead to something good.

              “Well you see, there’s this dance coming up, next week actually, and me and Ned were talking about it. Um, it’s the homecoming dance. I was wondering, if it’s okay with you, and it can be as friends or maybe more than friends but well, maybe, I was thinking…” he stopped rambling and sighed, looking at you, frustrated and terrified of himself all at the same time. “Would you like to be my date to the homecoming dance next Friday?”

              “Peter-” you stared at him, fireworks exploding in your chest. “Yes! Of course!”

              “Wait, really?” his eyes lit up and you nodded eagerly, dropping your bookbag and rushing up to hug him.

              “Really,” you insisted, wrapping your arms around him. You had never hugged Peter before, but he was warm and comfy and he smelled like fabric softener. You buried your face into his shoulder, squeezing tight, muffling your giggles. Both of you pulled back and he was smiling ear to ear, you as well. “I wish I could stay longer, but um, I’ll be sure to shoot you a text when I get home.”

              “For sure,” he kept smiling at you like a fool, and you couldn’t say anything because you bet you probably looked the exact same.

              Waving goodbye to Aunt May and closing the door behind you, you took a step before instantly hearing Peter excitedly ramble on to his aunt. “I asked the question May- the one to the dance. And she said yes! She said yes, holy shit- I’m gonna need a suit. And a corsage. Where do you even get a corsage?”

              “Woah, slow down there, kiddo,” Aunt May chuckled. Trying not to eavesdrop any longer, your entire face flushed, heart fluttering, fuzzy feeling enveloping you as you walked down the hall. You were falling for Peter Parker. And you were falling hard.

              The car ride home with Happy was pretty quiet, and you knew you were going to get another talking to, you could just feel it. It wasn’t that you were purposely trying to be rebellious or anything, sometimes you just genuinely lost track of time. It was easy to be distracted when you were with someone like Peter. Your attention seemed to effortlessly gravitate towards him, you couldn’t even help it yourself. Making your way up to the elevator, half of you was still buzzing with excitement from your night at Peter’s, but the other half was dreading the rest of the night to come dealing with the repercussions from your dad.

              “It’s nine o’clock, y/n. Where in the hell were you? And don’t even start with study hall,” your dad folded his arms, already exhausted.

              “I went over to a friend’s house to study,” you explained. “I’m sorry, I lost track of the time and I just-”

              “Was it a boy?” he looked at you, narrowing his eyes from behind his glasses and you sighed. “The boy?”

              “What does it matter?” you whined.

              “It matters because you’re the type of girl to get into trouble,” he argued and you did a doubletake, offended.

              “Excuse me?” you stared at him. “I get perfect grades, dad! I’m on the honor roll! And you think that I’m going to get myself into trouble?”

              “You’re my daughter, y/n. There’s no way in hell that you aren’t,” he shook his head. Tony sighed, looking you up and down, and then pursed his lips. “Does he treat you right at least? This boy?”

              “Y-yeah,” you blushed, nodding, slowly feeling your agitation fade away. “He’s really sweet.”

              “Is he smart?”

              “Super smart. He competes in the decathlon, dad. Plus he literally studies computer programming for fun.”

              “So he’s a giant nerd.”

              “No! Okay, maybe. But he’s a cute nerd.”

              “Alright, alright,” Tony nodded slowly. “So are you two dating or is this a crush type situation?”

              “He asked me to the homecoming dance,” you told him, blushing furiously just at the thought of Peter Parker in a suit and tie, hair gelled back, swaying with you on the dance floor.

              “I better get around to meeting this kid then,” he insisted. “If he’s inviting you over and going to the dance with you and all.”

              “I’m sure you will, dad,” you smiled sweetly. “The dance is coming up soon and he’s obviously going to pick me up so, you can have a couple words with him then. He’ll be dressed up and everything, it’ll make a good impression.”

              “Right, right,” he laughed. “Well just be careful, alright? I can’t have my daughter’s heart getting broken out here. He should know he’s messing with Iron Man’s daughter, I’ll kick his ass if he ever wrongs you.”

              “I know, dad,” you rolled your eyes, giving him a big hug. “But I think we’re safe with this one. He’s a really good guy. I can feel it.”