#Internal Family Systems

[uniquely-plural]

As a part of the new tumblr beta feature Communities, we've been approved for one of our very own - And I would love your help building this Fully Inclusive Plural Community with me! 💜

The infrastructure is still being developed, so there's some bugs and built in restrictions - We can only invite about 20 more people in right now, only main blogs, no sideblogs, sorry. This also means I'll be posting there from my main @afaintcloudyhaze :)

If you're interested in joining, please let me know in a reply to this post from your main blog. The only requirement is that you feel a connection to plurality and you want to contribute to the conversation about it.

[ari-leah-arts]

Innocence and Playfulness

“Vader said it’s safe to come out and play now.”

“It is. We have missed you.”

(IFS art. Little Theo is an exile who’s been recently reunited with his caretaker.)

Edit: forgot Norman’s scar.

[aleatoryw]

I've been reading No Bad Parts, which is about internal family systems therapy, and immediately off the bat it is giving me better mental health advice than any other book, article, or healthcare worker ever has. highly recommend, especially if you currently or in the past dealt with self harm or overwhelming emotions

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

[selkra-souza]

One day I was sitting at my 6th grade class bored out of my mind, then I had the idea to play music in my head to pass the time. I haven't been able to turn it off since.

[huecollective]

The never-ending cycle of finally accepting that you’re a system only to question and think you are faking all within a few hours.

[probablyhuntersmom]

My remaining long metas - Retraumatization vs. Self-Soothing (Part 2), another called Holding the Space, and the one where I interpret stuff more loosely than usual to explore Belos's impact on Luz and Hunter's experiences with mental illness - they're taking a while to do up.

But here's a treat in the meantime: one of the two main modalities I use with my clients (called Internal Family Systems, or IFS), used as a framework to understand Hunter's inner world. Modalities help therapists to make sense of clients' issues.

The first pic shows the parts of Hunter that are wounded or pushed to extremes: organized into three categories called Managers, Firefighters and Exiles. Exiles are suppressed and pushed aside because they are viewed as threats to the whole system. Any emotion in the Manager category prepares for difficulties in life (often over-preparing), Firefighter emotions are quick and reactive, showing up to try and soothe Exiles to try and rebalance the whole system, but are at risk of causing harm.

The second pic shows his Self, which can be said to be any person's true self and is restorative and positive. In therapy, using this framework is to 1. get Manager and Firefighter parts to stop suppressing the Exiles, 2. encourage Exile parts of a person to feel safe and express themselves, and 3. draw out the person's naturally restorative Self to lead the wounded/extreme parts of them towards feeling peace.

A therapist doesn't necessarily have to help every wounded part unless the client wants them to. Sometimes it's a bit tricky to tell the various parts apart, e.g. the line between Hunter's caretaker side (a Manager) and his natural compassion (Self) is a fine one. What to look out for is if he is taking care of others to avoid feeling worthless (an Exile). Usually once the Self is engaged, positive transformation can happen fairly quickly.

Anyway, don't mind my

-ing. Something for your minds to chew on while I work on the other metas.

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Update, 31/12/2023:

Whoopsie, I'll only finish and upload "Holding the Space" for perhaps the Watching and Dreaming anniversary in 2024. I was working on it very slowly but it simply wasn't flowing.

[aura-dragonfly]

I call my parts/facets, 'personas'. My therapist said that's actually normal. She is even okay with me saying 'we' sometimes, too. She is okay with me naming them, too. If it is normal, why don't people talk about it more? Why don't people explore different parts of themselves more? It's perfectly fine to be Median, folks. Encourage it. Embrace it. I know it's hard sometimes to let certain parts have a voice, but we all should. They're all us. She also mentioned Internal Family Systems.

[sysmedsaresexist]

What is Internal Family Systems

And how is it different from DID?

[noisytenant]

IFS is crazy bc you will have a guy in your head screaming at you and sending you gore images. and so youll be like Okay man so what's going on can you tell me what you want. and they'll be like Well I really want to hold hands with someone on the beach. And upon realizing this you will cry harder than you have ever cried in your life

[selkie-ifs]

Parts work is challenging when your loudest part is avoidance

[ari-leah-arts]

IFS!Piett. Logic and Reason. Probably the oldest member of the system. Loves saying “It is what it is”.

“It is easy to be logical. It is almost impossible to be logical to the bitter end.” - Albert Camus.

[melodymorningdew]

I am honoring my true self by allowing myself space to be enraged.

I love you, me. Your anger is valid. I ignored you for too long and I'm sorry.

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

I find it hard when I see old pics/videos of me not because I think I was "cringe" but because I can see how vulnerable/trusting I was and see clearly now how the people around me were taking advantage of me and it infuriates my inner protector

[arcane-sync]

I need someone who understands both Internal Family Systems therapy and DID.

I met another counselor who uses IFS to treat DID, and she has... strong opinions on the "true self." She describes it as a state of being at peace, a part that is totally self-loving and accepting. So her treatment is working with different alters until the true self emerges. This part became a thing at the time of the first trauma experienced, and the job at that point is aging that part up and healing it. And... that fixes the DID? Supposedly?

Is this an accurate picture of how IFS is used to treat DID?

Cause if so, my interest in both this counselor and modality has dropped off a cliff. The way she said it was like every alter is a fake, and if they would just... get out of the way, we'd be healed. But since they wont, the only option is to make them get along.

I'm sure all my self doubt and emotional hurt will come up and consume me at some inconvenient point later.

[healingchildhoodtrauma]