#warning viral hack

[thesmolgoblingf]

There’s been a viral “cleaning hack” going around of keeping your toilet clean by putting fabric softener in your toilet tank.

Please do not do this unless you’d like to pay for a brand new truck for your local plumber. Fabric softener is bad for your plumbing (and your clothes).

Do not put anything in your toilet tanks.

[thebearchives]

paper-thin walls | m.s.

PAIR. neighbour!mick schumacher x single mother!reader

SUMM. noisy neighbours was the last thing mick was expecting after the long f1 season. he's tired, he's stressed, and believe it or not, he's ready to give his neighbour a piece of his damn mind.

WC. 5.6k

NOTES. first fic of 2023, everyone cheer!! i'm trying out new styles of writing, so please lmk how you found this fic.

WARNINGS include excessive use of the word 'fuck' (i'm sorry), and...shirtless mick? as always, don't be a ghost reader!

rest and relaxation, mick. that’s what toto had told him before he waved him off at the airport. we need you in prime shape for the next season.

mick tossed in his bed, migraine prickling the back of his head as another screech came from the wall beside him. 

look like you haven’t slept in months, mate. george had thrown an arm over his shoulder, cheeky smile playing on his lips as he brought a finger up to poke the obvious bags under mick’s eye. look alive, mick. it’s only gonna get worse from here.

it wasn’t official yet, but soon, news would drop about lewis’ retirement and mick’s subsequent promotion to the empty mercedes seat. he supposed that george was right. the season had only just ended and yet already, his shared calendar was filling up faster and faster with events, testing sessions, and appearances for the new season.

i’ll tell you this now. get all the sleep you can get this break. lewis rolled his shoulders back, stretching his neck side-to-side. the now eighth-time champion yawned loudly, muttering about how he was glad to be escaping the early mornings of simulator practice that happened closer to the start and end of the off season. 

mick couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips. it was strange, really, how quickly the idea of sleep had turned from attainable to something as out-of-reach as his seat on the grid had been the year prior. except, only his fight for his seat came with much less crying and screaming from his next door neighbour.

now listen, mick didn’t hate kids, alright. in fact, his older sister had brought a wonderful little boy into the world some years ago, and mick didn’t like to brag, but he was certain he was his nephew’s favourite uncle;

( “you’re also his only uncle, mick.” gina rolled her eyes as she watched mick toss her son up in the air. 

mick waved her off, laughing along with his nephew. “i’m still his favourite, aren’t i, jonah?” 

he had directed the second half of his sentence to the boy in his arms who, when addressed, nodded rapidly and smiled at his mom with his crooked teeth. 

“yeah, mama! uncle mickie is the best uncle in the whoooooole world!” )

so, yeah, it was fair to say mick liked kids. but when that kid is crying her little lungs out at 2:53 in the morning for the third night in a row? yeah, that’s when he draws a line. 

a beat passed before another set of pitiful whines reverberated from the wall. mick pulled the pillow out from under him, and stuffed it over his head instead, hoping to drown out the sounds. 

his first order of business as a mercedes amg driver? move the fuck out. 

your eyes were red, beady with unshed tears as the figurative hammers slammed against your head. 

amelia was sick— had been for the past three days now. you had been trying to soothe her cries for the past hour, but to no avail. your heart broke to see your little angel’s face contort in pain as her whole body ached. 

it’s a simple cold. your pediatrician had told you such with a small smile. she was holding on to a red lollipop that she reached over and handed to amelia. the two-year-old had reluctantly reached out and grabbed it before rushing back against your side. her forehead was burning up as you pushed her bangs away from her face, face visibly worried. it’s viral, hon. the seasons are changing. nothing to worry about.

you had a sneaking suspicion that the lady from the fourth floor with the hacking cough had been the one to infect your little girl. if only the elevator doors had closed on her that day.

( you pressed the ‘door close’ button repeatedly, willing it to close before anne from the fourth floor would reach the elevator. 

amelia giggled with each press of the button. “i wanna try! i wanna try! mommy, please can i try?” she had stood on her tippy-toes, teetering over and grabbing onto your dress as support. 

you smiled, hand leaving the button to instead ruffle her hair. “it’s all yours, little lady. have at it.”

amelia reached over and pushed her finger against the ‘door open’ button. you held in a groan as the door jerked in the opposite direction. you tutted lightly, pushing amelia’s finger to the next button over. “wrong button, baby.”

amelia ‘ohh’ed,  finger pushing against the button one again, but it was too late.

you watched as anne rushed to the elevator door with a rejuvenated fervor, wanting so badly for the doors to close right before she got on. you prayed to schindler elevators that the doors would close on her.

schindler elevators inc. was unfortunately not a god, and thus, anne got on.

“good afternoon, dear.” anne sniffled out, turning to look at the little girl in front of you. “thank you for waiting, dearie.”

amelia smiled, “you’re welcome! what floor?” 

anne coughed loudly. you tried to hide your grimace. “fourth, please.”

the doors finally closed and amelia tugged on your dress once again. you smiled at her hopeless face, reaching up to press the fourth floor button. 

anne had coughed and sneezed a few more times before she nasally said goodbye and got off on her floor. )

anne was a sweet lady, you wouldn’t deny it. but at this moment in time, you couldn’t help but curse her with all the malicious intent you could muster. you were tired. amelia was tired. and yet, nothing you were doing seemed to lull the girl into a state of slumber.

faintly, you could feel the guilt creeping up on you. the walls of your apartment complex were thin— you’d learned that the hard way. you were aware of how amelia’s cries were probably making their way into your neighbour’ houses and into the hallway, but quite frankly, you couldn’t even pretend to give a shit while you pulled amelia into your arms and took her on a little walk around your apartment. 

her loud cries slowly turned into sniffles and low whines as you rocked her around your house, showing her all the framed pictures hung around your house. one of her hands found its way to your hair, twirling some strands while the other stayed nestled between your bodies. your shirts had come off long ago— skin-to-skin was always a great comfort for amelia, and you could tell that the material of her sleeves and your t-shirt was overstimulating her greatly. 

even dressed in just a diaper, amelia’s arm, and subsequently, the rest of her body, was burning up from the fever she was running. you had a feeling that the medicine you had given her before her scheduled bedtime was wearing off, but amelia had refused to drink her milk and you were reluctant to give her another dose on an empty stomach. 

you hated to rouse her once she had finally quieted down but after being a mother for two years, you quickly learned that too much empathy could lead to your downfall. amelia needed to take her medicine now so that she wouldn’t have another meltdown in an hour’s time, and if that came at the expense of her crying just a bit more, it’d have to do.

you hesitantly pulled amelia away from your skin, hushing her lightly as she started to resist and whine. “i know, i know. i’m sorry, baby. i know it hurts.” 

you made your way to the kitchen. you talked amelia through every step, hoping to keep her distracted long enough to pull out an applesauce cup from the pantry. “we’re gonna eat some food and then give you your medicine so your body stops hurting. okay, baby?” 

amelia shivered lightly as your hand grazed over her stomach. she watched with wet eyes as you grabbed a spoon and attempted to open the cup— it was quite hard, doing everything with one hand.

“can mommy put you down?” you stopped and looked down at amelia, who frowned before slowly shaking her head and leaning into your chest again. “you wanna sit in my lap?” amelia nodded, a shuddered breath escaping her as she let herself calm down.

you worked quickly, sitting down with a tired baby in your lap and peeling open the cup. you fed amelia with slow bites, hoping she kept her food down this time. after she finished about half the cup, she started to fuss, pushing her face into your arm to avoid eating anymore. you were too tired to care about the fact that she had rubbed applesauce all over your bare arm. 

you decided against giving her the next dose of medicine until she stopped being fussy— if there was anything amelia had seemed to hate more than being sick, it was taking her medicine. the one she had been prescribed was grape flavoured, and it was by far the worst flavour of medicine you had the disgrace of stumbling across. you pitied your daughter. truly, you did, but you wanted her to get better, and if this grape-flavoured syrup was the only way to nurse her back to health, you’d do whatever it takes to get her to drink it. 

amelia was now sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket as her clammy skin made her feel cold. she watched you with narrowed eyes as you manoeuvred around the kitchen to find her medicine and her sippy cup filled with water. although you had tried your hardest to hide the bottle from her, amelia recognized the purple bottle instantly, shaking her head furiously and whining out a no, mommy.

you sighed, not wanting to experience the third meltdown of the night. half heartedly, you wished for her to just stop crying and go to sleep, entirely too exhausted by caring for a sick child while running on a combined two hours of sleep. 

you couldn’t help but mentally scold yourself; god, you were such a bad mother. here your daughter was— sick and in need of your comfort— and instead of comforting her, you’re frustrated with her tears and couldn’t stand to hear another cry. you were just so tired. yet, you had no right to complain— you knew being a single mother would have been hard, but you still went through with it. 

you took a deep breath in, trying to stop yourself from spiralling. 

you carried amelia in your womb for nine months alone. you had gave birth alone. you had spent the last three years raising amelia on your own, and god damn it, a sickness would not make you question your worth as a mother. not over your dead body.

“alright, mimi.” you crouched in front of where amelia had been sitting, a weak smile on your face to try and coax her into drinking her medicine. “you’ve gotta drink your medicine if you want to feel better, okay?— no, don’t give me that look. mommy doesn’t want to give you this either, but you have to drink it or else you’ll continue hurting all night.”

the young girl sniffled, eyes already watering again. “but it’s yucky!”

you placed the sippy cup on the ground beside you, reaching up to caress her cheek lightly. “it is, but it helps you feel less icky and achy, okay?”

amelia stared at the bottle in your hand, a frown clear on her face. you wished she hadn’t taken up your stubbornness. 

“we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, amelia.” you gave her a slightly stern look.

amelia shook her head before pushing it back and into the cushion of the couch. 

hard way, it is.

you leave me no choice, amelia. you placed the plastic feeding syringe filled with 5 mL of the purple medicine, and reached out to hold onto amelia. you sat down in her spot, holding the girl down by her arms as she started to yell and flail her limbs. after she realized her arms were being held, she began to kick her feet, trying to roll out of your arms. 

your grip didn’t loosen, leaning forward to grab the syringe once again. you held the syringe near her mouth, and amelia immediately started to scream louder, yells turning into sobs. again, very faintly, you worried about the noise and your neighbours, but you pushed forward. 

you placed the syringe against the inside of her cheek, releasing some of the medicine. amelia stopped crying for a slight second to swallow before going back to her loud cries. the migraine from earlier returned as you repeated your actions twice more before tossing the empty syringe to the table and pulling the girl up in your lap.

amelia gagged loudly, and you couldn’t stop the loud no, no, no! no throwing up from escaping your lips. you grabbed her sippy cup before helping her wash down the medicine. god, children were so dramatic.

amelia, whose hands were now free, pushed the sippy cup away after a few sips. her lips were downturned into a big pout, and her eyes were glassy. her breath shuddered, still recovering from her outburst from seconds ago. you cooed gently, pushing her hair away from her forehead and eyes. 

“see, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” you imagined that if she knew how, amelia would respond to you with a death glare. 

you pulled the girl closer to you, hand on her hair, smoothing it down as she placed her wet cheek against your sternum. you whispered quiet compliments to your baby as she started to calm down, hand coming back up to grab your hair and tangle her fingers into it.

it was quiet— no sounds aside from your whispers of i love you’s and amelia’s heavy breathing (her nose had stuffed up not too long ago). it had stayed quiet for maybe twenty seconds, until the silence was broken by a rather aggressive knock on your door.

amelia startled, and your heart dropped.  fuck.

mick wasn’t sure when he finally dozed off. the little girl from the other side of his wall had finally quieted down, and he could faintly hear another woman’s voice coaxing her to calm down. 

when he came to again, it had of course been due to another meltdown from the girl. he’d startled awake, pillow falling from his face and onto the floor beside him. his heart rate was erratic, and it took him a few seconds to get a bearing of his surroundings. when the next cry resonated through his room, he couldn’t help the loud groan from escaping past his lips.

mick sat up in his bed, suddenly feeling a strong wave of rage crash over him. it was late, and he was tired. it was past 3 am now, and mick schumacher had had enough.

the last few days had been stressful, to say the least. mick was going to be an official driver on the grid next season, for mercedes, and as excited as he was, he was also nervous— extremely nervous. yes, it was off season, but everyone knew that off season meant preparing for the next season. there really weren’t any “days off” in formula one, not really— if it wasn’t driving, it was sim work, and if it wasn’t the sim, it was working out to keep those muscles in shape.

frankly, mick had mentally exhausted himself by worrying for his next season in formula one, and with the lack of sleep, the man was nearing insanity.

he could feel the frustration, the exhaustion, and all his anxieties start to build up; start to consume him. he let them consume him. 

as if on autopilot, mick got out of his bed, walking out of his bedroom and directly towards his front door. another loud cry came from across the wall, this one louder from all the rest. 

if mick had been in his right mind, he wouldn’t have opened the door and rapped his knuckles against his neighbour’s door rather aggressively. but alas, mick had finally exploded, and who better to release his frustrations on than his next-door neighbours who couldn’t shut the fuck up at 3 am on a wednesday night. 

the second he registered his hand on the painted black door, he paled. fuck. mick felt like he was slapped in the face— what the fuck was he thinking? what the fuck could he possibly do? yell at whoever opened the door? tell them to shut their baby up? fuck. fuck.

mick held his breath, pulling his hand back. should i run for it? his eyes flitted from the door in front of him to his own. a beat passed, the door didn’t open, but he could still hear whining and muffled murmurs. it was louder now that he was out in the hallway— his walls had been thin, but perhaps the ones that lined the sides of the hallway were thinner. maybe they didn’t hear me.

before he could decide between standing his (now, remorseful) ground, or turn tail and hurry back home and sleep with his shitty “noise-cancelling” headphones on, the door opened. his head jerked up at the sound, eyes raking over your figure as he worked up the nerve to look you in the eyes.

you were a sight to behold, dressed in a plain black sports bra and loose, plaid pajama pants that coincidentally mirrored the colours of mercedes. the quick ponytail you had thrown your hair into some hours prior was now a ghost of what it should have been— most of your hair slipping out and splaying over your shoulders. the tangled ends could only have been caused by the young girl held in your arms. she was covered up more than you were, but from where the blanket fell off her shoulder and exposed her arm, mick could tell she was just as bare, if not more. (skin-to-skin, he’d realize some hours later as he laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling, this time wide awake on his own accord.)

your eyes, mick quickly learned, told stories clearer than even the most renowned storytellers. they were droopy and bloodshot with the lack of sleep. mick could read the exhaustion through them from miles away. aside from that, they were also bleary— as if you were seconds away from bursting into tears yourself. the girl in your arms sniffled, dragging his attention away once more as he scanned his eyes over her rosy red cheeks and irritated nose. oh.

a rogue wave of guilt crashed over mick, almost drowning him in the process. in his blind rage, mick hadn’t even considered what could have possibly led the girl in your arms to cry. it seems that the lack of sleep had killed his brain cells— rid him of all common sense and critical thinking. she was sick. 

the air was rather quiet around you three— aside from the little girl’s sniffling and heavy breaths, silence filled the air. mick mulled over what he should say. 

the girl in your arms shivered and you shifted her closer. another second of silence passed and you decided to take the reins of the conversation. “hi, are you here about the noise?”

mick could do nothing but nod, still feeling regretful for having knocked in the first place. his lips turned upwards into a sheepish smile, hand ruffling his already messy hair.

“listen, i’m really sorry. my daughter hasn’t been feeling the best for the past few nights, and i went around to let the rest of the hall know…” you trailed off, cocking your eyebrow as you asked him a question. “i don’t think i saw you around?”

mick stuttered. “uh, yup. yeah. sorry, i was out of town for the past few weeks and only just got back,” he gestured to the door to the right of your own. “ i live next door.”

you winced. “ah, that means you’re on the opposite side of my bedroom. i’m sorry, really. amelia rarely gets sick but when she does, she’s quite the force to be reckoned with…the noise should go down now, hopefully. her medicine wore off, and she’s just gotten a new dose. let’s both hope she sleeps like a baby, yeah?”

the light chuckle that escaped your lips made mick’s heart warm. the sheepish smile turned into a shy one. “yeah, of course. i’ll let you guys go to bed, then,” he gestured his head to amelia, who had somewhat fallen asleep against your shoulder, a line of drool dripping from her open mouth. “sorry for bothering you guys this late at night.”

you lightly shook your head. “i should be saying that to you. i’ll try my very hardest to make sure you’re able to catch up on sleep now!”

mick smiled and wished you a good night, turning back towards his door. you slowly let the door shut, the whirring and clicking noise signifying that it had automatically locked.

mick yawned as he reached his door. his hand fumbled to find the doorknob, eyes bleary with sleep. he pushed the doorknob down. it didn’t move. huh?

he tried again, and again, and one more time. each time the doorknob didn’t budge. mick became frantic, and for the second time in the past five minutes, he found himself thinking— fuck.

mick had boasted about the new upgrades for his apartment building for months to anyone who listened. how could he have possibly forgotten that his front door automatically locked? that he could only get in if he had his keys or if someone was inside? (“well, what if you get locked out? what then?” “don’t be stupid, gina. i’m not an idiot, i’d never do such a thing.”)

who’s the idiot now? mick groaned, hands pulling at his hair as he crouched down. he felt like crying. he was so fucking tired. now that it was finally quiet, now that amelia had finally stopped crying, mick was locked out of his house with no way back in. what a fucking night. 

mick stared at the tiled floor under him, gnawing on his lip as he thought of his options. it was 4 in the morning, not a single person would be awake and working at the front desk. he couldn’t call anybody— his phone was inside, plugged into the wall to charge after two days of use. even if he had it on him, the only people who had copies of the key were his mom, his sister, and hank, the man who worked the front desk— no one that would be awake, nor close enough to come up and unlock his door for him. 

his eyes flickered back to your front door, shaking his head before the thought could even fully form. he was not going to bother you again, especially not now. mick leaned his head back against his locked door, accepting his fate and slouching onto the tile. the metal of the door was cool against his bare skin causing a shiver to run down his spine. 

time was going by extremely slow, or at least it felt like it was for mick. his knees were now up to his chest, trying to find some reprieve from the cold air that breezed through the hallway’s air conditioning. he wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting like that, or when his eyes had finally shut until he was roused by the sound of your door opening. he raised his head, making eye contact with you for the second time that night. you looked mostly the same as before— tired eyes and unruly hair— the only difference now was that you had traded your sports bra in for a white shirt and a cardigan.

you cocked your head lightly. “oh? what are you doing out here?”

your voice was quiet, soft. mick felt his cheeks heat up, the embarrassment returning. 

his smile was sheepish. “i forgot my keys.”

your expression shifted, a round ‘oh’ shape forming on your lips as you nodded. before you could respond however,  your eyes widened and you immediately stepped back into your apartment, leaving mick all alone in the hallway. again. mick blinked, unable to comprehend what just happened.

you returned back outside with a soundtrack of quiet jingling. you brandished the keys in your hand to the boy sitting in front of his door. “almost just made the same mistake.”

mick nodded, an airy laugh escaping his lips. “i don’t suppose amelia knows how to open doors yet?”

you shook your head, “with those new child-safe knob covers? god, i hope not.”

the air became quiet, neither of you speaking many words. mick found himself wishing the silence would swallow him whole. he caved.

“so what—”

“would yo—”

mick flinched, instantly backtracking. “sorry, you go first.”

“no, no. it’s okay, you can go first.”

“no, really. it’s okay, it wasn’t very important, anyway.” mick pushed himself off of the ground, now coming up to stand against his door instead. “please, say whatever you wanted to.”

you pursed your lips, staring at his figure before sighing. “alright,” you nodded, “i was just going to offer if you’d like to crash on my sofa? it’s awfully cold out here, and you’re…”

mick glanced down at his bare chest at your gesture, cheeks flaming hot enough to drown out the cold breeze of the air conditioner. he crossed his arms, trying to cover up his chest, though you had already seen everything he had on show. 

he shook his head, adamant on not inconveniencing you further. “no, that’s alright. i’m here because of my forgetfulness, i can deal with it.”

you couldn’t help but copy his movement. “your forgetfulness came from the fact that amelia, and by extension, myself, kept you up most of the night because of how loud we were. if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”

mick went to argue but you cut him off. “really, it all comes back to me, so let me help you.”

the german boy was silent, mulling over his options in his head. 

“it’s a pull-out.” 

his eyes met yours again. “you’re sure?”

“yes, of course.” you nodded excessively. “i was just about to go down to the laundry room–” mick’s brows furrowed, and it was your turn to smile sheepishly now. “— i forgot to grab the last load of laundry earlier because of how cranky ‘melia was being. if you don’t mind waiting for another 5 minutes, i can quickly go grab the load and let you settle in for the night?”

mick nodded, hand coming up to scratch at the base of his neck. “no, of course. take your time. i’ll be here…s’not like i’d be able to go anywhere, anyway.”

you smiled at his words, eyes brighter than they had been the first time you two spoke. “great!”

you pulled the cardigan closer to your chest, walking down the hallway as fast as you could without bursting into a full sprint. had you really just done that? had you really just invited a stranger you had briefly acquainted with not mere minutes ago to spend the night in your apartment? yes. 

you pushed the down button on the elevator. and then again, willing it to get to your floor faster. fuck, your mind was going crazy with the what ifs. 

what if he was a creep? you haven’t seen him around since before tonight. ‘out of town’ he says. for what? what if he was a serial killer? that would make sense. he’d fled the town to not look suspicious, and now he’s back for his next victims. yes, that was it. (in the future, mick would listen to your retellings of this story with a look of disbelief. “you thought i was going to kill you!?” “of course, i did! i didn’t know you!” “you offered that i stay the night!” “well, i don’t always make good decisions now, do i?”)

the elevator ride was rather short, and uneventful— no anne from the fourth floor to pull you from your thoughts with a hacking cough. you chewed on your lips as you mulled over the man you had left upstairs. 

the laundry room was quiet and dark. of course, it was expected for four in the morning— not everyone was as disorganized as you were. you rushed your way around the familiar room, grabbing the basket you had left behind and unloading your dryer. you had to work quickly to get back before amelia realized the warmth next to her was simply your heated blanket and not you. you also had to get back to him.

by the final fitted sheet pulled from the dryer, you had made up your mind. there was just no way that your next-door neighbour. he seemed nice— too nice, a voice rang in your head. you shook your head, ridding yourself of the negative thoughts. everything will be just fine. 

he was right where you left him— albeit, now returned to his slumped over position against his door. your footsteps were quiet, yet still managed to rouse him back to reality. 

you sent him a sheepish smile. “i didn’t take too long, did i?”

“not at all.” he shook his head. “you’re fine.”

a hum escaped your mouth followed by the nod of your head. you reached into your cardigan’s pocket to pull out the keys, unlocking the door quietly and pushing it in with your hip. you held the door open and gestured for him to come in.

his hesitance was obvious and in your head, you cheered. definitely not a serial killer. 

“an open door usually means you can enter, you know?” you gave him a soft smile. he returned it, though it looked slightly more like a grimace.

“are…” he started, arms crossing over once again, feeling bare under your gaze. “are you sure? really, it’s no problem for me to stay the night out here. hank will probably be in the office in another hour or two. ‘s not a problem, i’ll just wait for him to get here and i’ll get into my apartment. plus, amelia’s only just fallen asleep, and i’d hate to m—”

“oh, will you just get in here already?” you couldn’t help but reach out, lightly grabbing his arm before tugging him in. you guided the door shut with your foot, making sure it wasn’t too loud before turning around to look at the man in front of you.

his eyes were wide, flickering from your face to your hand, which was still wrapped around his arm. you followed his gaze, your own eyes widening as you quickly dropped your hand. your hand felt like it was on fire— his arm was cold, icy from the air conditioning, and a stark contrast from your warm ones. it felt like you’d given yourself an ice burn.

you cleared your throat, yet stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

the man across from you was in a similar boat, cheeks dusting a light pink as he focused on the heat emanating from where your hand once was.

“i’ll show you to the couch, if you’d like?” your voice tilted up at the end of the sentence. “i have a feeling our layout is the same, so the bathroom should be in the same spot, if you need it.”

he followed behind you with a quiet murmur agreeing about how similar your floor plans were. 

your eyes widened as you entered the living room,.empty syringes and dirty tiny baby dishes were strewn across the coffee table. you placed your laundry basket to the side, hastily picking up your earlier mess with an apology.

the shake of your neighbour’s head went unnoticed by you as you rushed into the kitchen and back out. it wasn’t until you had presented him with the pull out that he spoke again.

“you know,” his voice was rather quiet, conscious of the baby sleeping just a little ways away. “you really should not let strangers into your home.”

for a second, you nearly felt your heart stop— this was it. he really is a serial killer— until you caught his expression, once again riddled with guilt as if he was overstepping. as if you hadn’t invited him in.

“you’re not really a stranger though, are you?” at the cock of his head, you continued. “you’re my neighbour who i’ve inconvenienced all night.”

“you don’t even know my name.”

you nodded. “alright, i’ll bite. you bring up a good point. so what is it then? your name?”

“...mick.” he had a slight smile playing on his lips.

“well, mick.” you gave him a small smile, initiating a handshake. “my name’s y/n. now, we’re neither strangers, nor neighbours with no names.”

mick couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over his lips, hand warm in your hold. “i suppose you’re right, then.”

you quickly left to grab the man— mick— a few pillows and a comforter from your closet. “i’m the door at the end of the hallway. if you need anything, you can knock on that door and let me know.”

mick nodded. “of course. thank you again, really.”

“not a problem.” you smiled, already making your way out of the living room.“i’ll see you in the morning, then.” 

as you walked out the room, you couldn’t help but turn once more, eyeing the blond-haired man who somehow didn't look so out of place as he messed with the teddy bear that you’d forgotten to pick up from the couch. you smiled.

“goodnight, mick.”

“sweet dreams, y/n.”

[lucvly]

can you do chris x influencer gf hcs pls 🤍

— chris with an influencer girlfriend hcs. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: fluff, not proofread.

a/n: this is so short My bad. ☹️

— both your fanbases suspected something was going on between you two because you started following each other a while back, and honestly you were soft launching him.

— the soft launch included pictures of your date nights, faceless couple pictures, etc.

— one time you posted a picture to your instagram story without realizing you were wearing fresh love sweatpants and your fans went crazy.

— despite that incident, you both waited until you were ready, and you made one of those couple videos on your channels. “introducing my gf/bf!” it was soo cute & most people in the comments were gushing about how cute you both are.

— when your relationship first started, you both had to sit down and talk about how public you wanted to be just to clear the air about what you were willing to and weren’t willing to post.

— you two have a joint youtube channel where you do vlogs about your life, dates and travels together.

— his personal channel is much more active because he posts with you a lot. he’ll post challenges, random vlogs– at some point you started a prank war on your channel which people loved.

— he’s your personal photographer. he sucked at taking pictures at first but you taught him how and now he takes all your pictures.

— sometimes you don’t even have to ask him for pictures because he’s so willing to take them. he loves doing it + (gets hella cocky because he gets to comment “I TOOK THESE”).

— when you have to go to a public event, he’ll call you to color coordinate outfits LMFAOO he loves matching with you, especially if it means showing you off in public.

— you two do the cutest trends together. you posted a tiktok with him doing a voiceover of your makeup which went absolutely viral because he was clueless.

— the amount of fanpages people have made for you are actually insane omg ??

— chris watches the edits people make of you, it’s his favorite pastime. he acts like he never sees edits but this man stalks fanpages, watches edits, and even showed you fanfiction of you two once.

— you were invited onto the cut the camera podcast one day and people went absolutely feral over it. it was insane. you and chris were lowkey flirting the whole time and just sharing stories about your relationship.

— literally your number one supporter. he loves you immensely so every project you’re a part of, he’s definitely a fan of. you could be selling grass and this man will advertise it on his stories like he’s getting paid.

— your comments are filled with him just hyping you up. he’s your #1 hype man. (“MINE” “i took these btw”).

— he shows you off everywhere. you’re all over his instagram. he has a highlight for you specifically & it’s the cutest thing ever :(.

— he spoils you so badly. anything you want, he’s getting it for you. necklaces, rings, perfumes, etc. all yours.

— you two steal each other’s clothes and people always end up noticing because of videos, tiktoks and pictures & they think it's adorable.

— this man will deadass steal your phone and post pictures on your social media. he’ll post stories on instagram, snapchat, literally anywhere 😭. full on hacks your accounts.

— you’re that internet couple. literally everywhere. the all time favorite internet couple.

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x physicist!reader

summary: The aftermath of the leak is hard on everybody in dr YN YSN's circle, but especially for her. The gossip, magazines, paparazzi and haters do not help the case.

warnings: hate speech, swearing

a/n: hi! so yes, this is a re-upload of the 3rd part of the physicist!reader. earlier this week tumblr wasn't working with me, not showing this on tags or even my own home page. and with that, i decided to post it again so maybe some more of you could know what's been happening in the world of physicist!reader. i hope you'll enjoy!

part 1 part 2 taglist

@celesteblack08

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The Sun

Oxford Is Firing The Famous 'Higgs Professor' and Harry Styles' Girlfriend Dr YN YSN

Written by John Addams

The infamous and TikTok sensation dr YN YSN, lecturer at Oxford University, is being fired after intimate photos of her and boyfriend, Harry Styles, saw the light of the day.

Starting at the beginning, the relationship between two became a fact over a year ago, when dr YSN went viral for her explanation of the Higgs mechanism based on Harry Styles' music. As we got to know from their joined street interview for meetcutesnyc on Instagram, the relationship florished after meeting at their mutual friend's (Christopher Nolan) party. Dr YN YSN was the science consultant for the director's latest movie, Oppenheimer, and Harry starred in one of his films, Dunkirk - making it happen.

Everything was going smoothly till the morning of three days ago. YN's iCloud was hacked, revealing personal and intimate information about not only the owner but her boyfriend as well.

'Dean is furious,' says our source. 'He cannot believe that the best lecturer could be this reckless'.' After the posed question on whether the decision of firing could be announced any time soon, they said, 'it's just the matter of time. But it's going to be sooner rather than later. Oxford is going to lose a fair and talented professor, but it is not its fault. Someone was the author of those, let's say information that was exposed. And it's going to be their fault entirely.'

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harrysmoustache

liked by hArrysbtch, harryupdates and 23 482 others

harrysmoustache Harry and YN couldn't leave the restaurant safely because a bunch of paps and 'fans' showed up at the location. Not only was it physically dangerous, but the things that were spoken towards (mostly) YN were disgusting. Calling her names and ready to fire her on the spot because of the PRIVATE PHOTOS she took with her boyfriend, which then someone ILLIGALY POSTED ONLINE after HACKING HER ICLOUD. Did y'all forget about TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS?????

view all 5 402 comments

harrysmoustache and don't make me start on that bullshit that the sun did... RIDICULOUS

harryupdates After all those years, and all those situations that he went through, I'm still surprised that people can be this cruel to him and people that he loves

hArrysbtch they hatin' my girl cause of some sexy photos... bastards

hArrysbtch why would they care what she does after Uni hours??? it's none of your business

scienceandharstyles it's heartbreaking to see a person that gives others the world and shares her knowledge and wears her heart on her sleeve being treated like garbage

harrymylove those were not harry fans

stylesbabie monstrosity

user56 why do y'all care for her this much??? jezz..

⤷ hArrysbtch maybe because she's a good human being treated like the worst person alive just because she snapped a few photos of her and her boyfriend

⤷ user56 wouldn't that be the consequences of her own actions?

⤷ hArrysbtch nope. her phone was hacked. how many times you take photos of yourself and think 'oh god, what if my gonna be hacked and this will be posted?'

⤷ harrysmoustache hArrysbtch ohhh, babes!!! you closed that haters mouth!!!!

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drynysn

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 738 492 others

drynysn During one of my latest lectures one of the students asked about accuracy in Sci-Fi movies, so I decided to start a little series of: Is this SCIENCE or just FICTION? Firstly, we'd look into the scene from Spider-Man 2 (2004). The scene where Peter Parker (Spider-Man) is stopping the train from its eventual crash. he shot multiple web lines, then they stretched and didn't break. One would say it is not possible. But! From the way the scene is shown to us, we are able to estimate how strong the web needed to be for it to happen. After looking up the train's mass, you can estimate its initial velocity (how far it can go per hour, so km/h) by seeing exactly how long it takes to pass the city blocks. (1)

view all 19 934 comments

drynysn (2) You can look up, measure, the distance over the webbing stretches, and then estimate its diameter . You can also count the number of web lines. NOW, we end up with a tensile (fancy way of saying elastic) strength for the webbing that has to be about 1 000 megapascals (mega meaning milion) which is equivalent to about 102 036 704 kilograms per square metre (which is 145 000 lbs/square inch - for you, my American friends on here).

drynysn (3) What is absolutely mind-blowing is the fact that actual spider silk has a tensile strength of 1 200 megapascals. So, if Spider-Man's webbing would be anyway that strong, that scene was very, very realistic. Rating it 9/10. What scene would you like to see next?

scienceandharstyles that is so informative and making this movie even more iconic!! Did you do all the equations by yourself, dr YSN?

⤷ drynysn Yes, I did! Took me some time to analyse the scene but it was worth it!

harryupdates oh, i need to rewatch this movie immediately!!!

harryismylife could the next scene be the one from The Avengers where Mjolnir after contacting Cap's shield makes that blue light? is that even possible?

⤷ drynysn that's a great scene! i'll look over it!

hArrysbtch i love the little explanations in brackets! i didn't need to look up the tensile thingy!

harrysmoustache you're telling me the scene i was 100% sure was as fake as my eyelashes is true???

user45 maybe you should try explaining showing of that body of yours

user75 is this the new way to make money after being fired?

user281 unemployment doesn't suit you but the consequences of your actions finally caught up with you

user374 i think you should start posting one of those photos the sun included in their article - you'll get more attention

comments to this post have been disabled

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrymoustache nad 54 292 others

harryupdates HARRY nad DR YN spotted in a small restaurant in Oxford (i'm disabling the comments cause i don't want to deal with the haters)

view all 74 comments

hArrysbtch MY PARENTS!!!!!!!! ARE BACK AFTER THE WEEKS OF DRAUGHT!!!!!

hArrysbtch and they look goooood

harrysmoustache i missed them so much..

stylesbabie yn looks so tired and sad

⤷ hArrysbtch it's just one phot of one moment

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harrystyles via close friends IG story

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londonboyharry

liked by harryupdates nad 14 302 others

londoboyharry went to oxford to bump into harry. it's better! i met dr yn ysn, drank coffee with her, talked and laughed my ass off! she is the funniest, kindest and most down to earth person i've ever met. also, after i asked her about all the things that were happening around her, she just said 'what things?' WITH A SMIRK ON HER FACE, SIPPING HER LITTLE AMERICANO AND BEING UNBOTHERED

view all 3 203 comments

harryupdates im so happy that she gives no damn to those people online

hArrysbtch I LOVE HER

harrymoustache the moment the legend the IT girl

stylesbabie happy for you!!!

harrysmylife who would want to meet harry when you can meet dr yn ysn?

scienceandharstyles best woman alive

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scienceandharstyles

liked by drynysn, harrystyles and 56 482 others

scienceandharstyles WE GRADUATED OXFORD!!! to anybody who said there was no way to incorporating pop culture with a biology degree? eat shit! i wrote the whole masters based on musicians' impact on fans' hormonal production. hehe. ALSO, it would not be possible withouth the best teacher, academic inspiration, and person I've ever met - dr YN YSN. thank you!

view all 18 327 comments

drynysn MADELINE, I am so proud of you. It would be not possible without your persisatnce and will to find solutions and answers. This is all yours!

harrystyles Congratulations, Madeline! H, xx.

harryupdates congrats maddie!!

stylesbabie very very proud

harrysmoustache did you perhaps use harry as an example in your work?

⤷ scienceandharstyles YES, I did. Only positive affect of his voice, music and visuals...

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oxford_uni

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 748 392 others

oxford_uni Acknowledging the upheaval around one of our lecturers - dr YN YSN, the Chancellor of Oxford University and the Dean of The Department of Physics decided to release the joined statement:

Refuting the words ans statements made by publishers not connected to our University, we would like to inform anybody in concern that one of our grates lecturers dr YN YSN is not decruited. The matter of private life is not concern of the University authority, even more when the said privacy was bridged. At this place, we would like to wish luck during dr YN YSN' s new path - becoming a professor.

view all 64 855 comments

harrystyles <3

harryupdates I KNEW IT

hArrysbtch EAT SHIT THE SUN, EAT SHIT JOHN ADDAMS

harrysmoustache HAHHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT !!!!!! BABY THERE WAS NO WAY THEY WOULD FIRE HER

stylesbabie thank god! there is still hope for this world

scienceandharstyles Chancellor and Dean with the best decision ever made

harrysmylife now haters what??? ha??

harrysfan87 i believed in you guys i did

londonboyharry becoming a professor???? good luck yn!!!

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 275 others

yourinstagram There was no better thing that happened to me than meeting you. You support means the world. I love you forever.

view all 36 comments

harrystyles Loving you is the greatest honour of all time, my heart <3

annetwist My favourite girl in the world! (besides my daughter)

⤷ gemmastyles Thanks for clarifying, mum

gemmastyles My sister from another mister!

yourbestfriend We need to finally meet up!

⤷ yourinstagram yessss!

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates, annetwist and 10 746 646 others

harrystyles You're just finishing one of your latest publications on the way to becoming a professor. I couldn't have been more proud and honoured to accompany you during this time.

view all 98 757 comments

yourinstagram I love you I love you I love you

annetwist Our smart professor. <3

harryupdates ohhhhhh *melting*

hArrysbtch I'll never get over him posting her on here

harrysmoustache we are back to normal, baby!!!

scienceandharstyles professor YN YSN sounds amazing

harrysmylife BEST. COUPLE. EVER.

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a/n: did you like the way it turned out?

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

Hi! Are u okay? I would like to request some hcs for Cater, Idia, Leona, Epel and Vil (separated) with a tomboy girlfriend who is friendly and kind to everyone – big sister vibes –, is especially sweet and affectionate to her boyfriend but can change from water to wine if you push her so far; Similar to the bully hcs, someone says something to her that really pisses her off and she throws her hands at the bully and what would be the boys reactions to this change in behavior.

I'm sorry if that's too specific! Sorry for any grammar mistakes, shout-out from Brazil <3

— 𝑴𝑒𝑙☾︎

Hello! I've been doing just fine, I hope you're doing okay as well! And thank you for the request I hope you'll be back for more!

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Warnings: Female reader, mentions of blood, pinching, slapping, slight insults/Threats (Leona and Idia's), mentions of yelling.

Request: Yes.

Words: 1,381

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Cater Diamond

One of the many things Cater enjoyed was posting pictures of you on magicam. Eating, laughing, swimming, playing Video-games- it didn't matter. His Gallery was full of you and so was his profile on Magicam.

He didn’t know you could be so rough in a fight. You were always sweet and kind, even to the youngsters at the school. A lot of people looked up to you at NRC because of that. THough it was like skinning an onion when he found out the punches you could pull.

“Girls shouldn't eat as much as you do.” Someone had said, walking up to the table one day. “No one wants a fatty. You should get her under control.”

He was ten seconds away from jumping in and telling this guy off, until a loud Thwap!! Rang out across the lunchroom as you slapped the guy as hard as you could. You turned from milk to fireball in an instant.

And he was impressed.

The fight started in a matter of seconds after that, hair being grabbed, punches thrown, screaming, yelling. A crowd gathered as he attempted to pull you off the student that had a firm grip of your hair.

Blood dripped from your knuckles, and his nose was bent out of place when the fight was over. You had broken the kid's nose.

Cater gushed over you later while bandaging your raw knuckles. “That totally would’ve gone viral on Magicam! Where did you learn moves like that?”

Of course, you did get into trouble, as did the kid that picked on you, but everyone learned a valuable lesson that day.

Milk can sour very quickly.

Idia Shroud

What he doesn't have in guts you have in fists.

That was something he learned quickly in the relationship. You may be sweet and kind but you also had a side burning deeper than hell's fire in your heart. You were very quick to tell off people that picked at your boyfriend.

Likewise he also enjoyed how much you cared for Ortho as if he was already a little sibling. It was like being a natural born leader and guide was in your blood.

He didn’t know the extent of how far you would go in standing up for him until someone made a rude comment about him.

“Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that.” Quickly went to, “I’ll pop your fucking ballsack.” Very quickly.

He didn’t try to separate you from the fight as your fist collided with the guy's jaw, he only held Ortho back slightly in a state of shock as he watched the brawl. Idia gave a witty comment towards the student when they fled the scene with an already bruising jaw.

You had almost ran after the guy, but held yourself back and instead asked the two siblings if they were okay.

Ortho said he was going to scan your body for injuries, Idia was lowkey blushing. Congratulations you fried his brain.

His pride grew higher that day. He also asked you for pointers and was more so clingy with you for the next few weeks following the event of the fight.

He may have also hacked the school system and corrupted the video of you kicking the dude's ass so you wouldn’t get in trouble. Idia makes sure to go out of his way to give a sly look every time you stand up for him towards the person insulting him. He likes causing drama.

Leona Kingscholar

*Smirk*

Yeah that's pretty much it. Leona is more than aware that sweet isn't all there is to your personality before he even was in a relationship with you. He just got that vibe and knew he was correct.

When you threw the punch the other guy had it coming. He wasn't being lazy, though he did lay back with his arms crossed watching you beat the shit out of this guy for his bullshit comment.

Cue happy Lion man. Leona was rather amused at the fight but if it got out of hand- if you were getting hurt- he would break up the fight. And maybe throw a few punches of his own for good measure.

You both end up getting in trouble together, and he's the one that just drags you away without a care in the world to the teachers yelling at him to get back here.

On the bright side, it's nice having someone else to care dump Cheka off with, especially since you seem very good with children.

He does enjoy watching your motherly nature. He'd like to have cubs with you one day. He just won't admit it over his life. Ever.

So yeah, he's not really worried about you. In fact, he likes seeing you get feisty. Just not towards him. That's just annoying.

He has threatened to shove a fork up your pussy. When you two fight the dorm literally grabs popcorn. Who knows who'll win, after all. It's the best show to watch.

Epel Felmier

He's a bit too innocent to realize you have this side of you at first. While he knows he does have a fighting spirit, he'd never seen you remotely angry before, so he just assumed you were a peaceful gal.

Oh how wrong he was.

Expel is small and appears frail, and a lot of people exploit that weakness, not on your watch. One wrong comment happened and you'd shocked the guy in the face, who had immediately gone at you and all hell broke loose.

Rook couldn't help but be amused at the situation he was watching, but at the same time knew poor Epel would have the time of his life if Vil found out.

Epel's lips curled into a large smirk that showed off his pearly whites as he watched you tussle with someone until they had run off like a scared bitch.

"You're gon' havta teach me that!" He said, happily as ever. He was quick to wrap you up in an embrace, squeezing you against him.

You immediately hugged back, happy to be back in his arms. And you'd agreed. Rook's job of keeping Epel out of trouble just got a lot harder.

Epel was excited in a way to learn about this new side of yourself you'd shown off to him, it made him love you even more.

God did he love his girlfriend.

Vil Schoenheit

You were picture perfect and he loved it. You were sweet, reliable, soft, good with children. Honestly he absolutely loved you. He just didn't know about how quickly your temper could be set off until it did.

Someone had called your man ugly.

That's right. Ugly. And you weren't standing for it. Vil stood in shock whilst Rook covered his mouth with a coy laugh as your fist connected with the guys jaw. Vil swore he'd heard a crack. While he would argue greatly that he was prettiest of them all, he also knew people had opinions that sometimes couldn't be changed.

Watching you punch this guy with a fire more fierce than diablo's anus after a bad day was certainly something. Albeit it wasn't what he was expecting at all.

He was almost impressed.

Had he not been ashamed of your behavior first and foremost. Vil was quick to break up the fight and have Rook escort the kid to the nurse while he had a stern talking to you.

He spoke to you that day like you were a child getting scolded, and when you refused to relent that what you did was wrong, Vil ended up giving up, admiring your stubbornness of the subject. It was rather adorable hearing you say you'd smack the shot out of anyone that calls him names in front of his face.

He absolutely had fussed over your bloodied knuckles too. Vil was very quick to use everything he had to heal them to perfection so they wouldn't scar. Not a bruise should be left on your skin.

[yunisverse]

Oi! You! What is a rant about a cartoon/animation/passion that you’ve wanted to spill for a while but haven’t gotten the opportunity to? Lay it on me!

you want it? you got it.

let's talk about Cloverfield's viral marketing campaign.

July 2007, the first Transformers movie hits theaters preceded by a strange trailer. There's no name for the film, just the date of release: 1-18-08.

1-18-08.com is found (don't go there now, some jerk snatched the domain and runs malware ads now), a site which has some scattered photos of the party from the trailer. You can move around the photos, and flip some over to get notes.

Slusho!, a Japanese drink company, is found thanks to its logo on a shirt in the trailer. The company's site loaded with Engrish about how Slusho makes you Zoom! You can't drink just six! It boasts of its secret ingredient, known only as Seabed Nectar.

Then comes the discovery of Tagruato, Slusho's parent organization. Tagruato is vague as hell about what their company is actually about, but what's most clearly documented are their deep sea drilling sites, and news of them sending a satellite into orbit.

The Myspace pages for various characters in the upcoming movie are found, mostly just the characters chatting like normal pals. One character's page, Jamie, hides a link to the secret site shared with her long-distance boyfriend Teddy where she records video messages to him. She knows he's off saving the world or whatever, but she's lonely!

Tagruato's website uploads an assurance to investors that the claims in the article from Ravaille Research Center are baseless, and its author is known for suspicious work. Googling RRC results in worried posts from families asking about the article, which says that cursory experiments with samples of Seabed Nectar show rapid cell growth, muscle growth, sharper eyesight, increased strength, and a sensation of full-body tingling described as a "wave of happiness."

People can buy merch of shirts from the Slusho! website. At first the packages are lined with Japanese newspapers, but over time some people find crumpled Tagruato documents with a hastily scrawled message to the recipient, from "The Whistleblower," trying to warn that employees have gone missing.

Tagruato's site is hacked, images of its CEO defaced. Hints in the images eventually lead to the site of the ecoterrorist organization TIDO-Wave, who are determined to bring to light the shady underbelly of Tagruato and Slusho. Most notable is this Seabed Nectar stuff is a closely-guarded secret, and definitely not FDA-approved.

Jamie's videos to Teddie are getting less sweet and more irritable. He used to be so good about calling, now he's gone radio silent. After weeks of nothing, Jamie opens a package from Teddie containing "evidence" and some kind of warning about Tagrutto or whatever, and frankly she's insulted he had to make up a whole song and dance instead of breaking up with her like a normal person.

At one point, calling Tagruato's contact line mentions a memorial service. TIDO-Wave's site uploads an article with more information: a famed marine biologist who'd been working for Tagruato's medical branch tragically died while camping with his family shortly after his retirement. It's rumored he made an incredible discovery right before retiring, but his computer, papers, and all research files are mysteriously missing.

1-18-08.com is slowly being uploaded with more and more photos, of soldiers and debris-filled streets and an explosion on some sort of ocean tanker. The photos show timestamps all throughout the night the movie takes place, and a timeline is starting to form. If you stay on the site for six minutes, a monster's roar can be heard.

The Whistleblower leaks a report of the various deep sea oil drills owned by Tagruato, noting that their most recently constructed drill not far offshore from New York has no report of oil whatsoever. So what are they doing there?

Tagruato's space division happily reports the success of their satellite in orbit. It even got a really good picture of a piece of a satellite falling. Some other satellite, not theirs. It's probably fine.

TIDO-Wave has been making plans to infiltrate the suspicious drill site off the coast of New York called Chuai Station, but when they arrive at the coordinates there's nothing there.

Soon after, reports flood in about a horrible altercation at the site; there are news reports in at least six different languages about the event showing footage of Chuai collapsing and sinking under the waves in a matter of minutes. Footage from workers trying to escape from inside the station shows armed Tagruato personnel on the site, and a recording from an escaping lifeboat shows massive chunks of metal debris launched out of the ocean after them as they escape. With knowledge that TIDO was in the area at that time, it's believed to be a terrorist attack. One news report mentions concern about dark shapes under the water shortly before Chuai sunk: if it's an oil leak, that could spell huge consequences for the surrounding area.

Jamie's still uploading videos to let Teddy know how Over Him she is. Him and his stupid games and his fake evidence. "Do Not Eat," huh, well, here's what she thinks about your stupid spy games, what are you gonna do, asshole? oh wow it tastes really good though. Damn she is FULL of energy. Fuck you Teddy she's gonna go PARTY and NOT think about YOU.

On MySpace, friends are congratulating their buddy Rob on getting an incredible job opportunity what will require him to relocate to Japan--he's supposed to help figure out how to market this super popular drink over there to Western buyers. His friends are planning a goodbye party on the night of the 18th.

So like. Know that 99% of this never appears in the movie. One character wears a Slusho! shirt, Jamie can be seen for a split second passed out on a couch. At the end of the movie, you can catch a distant splash as a piece of a satellite falls into the Atlantic. Most audiences don't notice or care and lose nothing having missed all of it. In fact, I didn't find most of this until AFTER seeing the movie.

but GOD did I think it was rad. For most people Cloverfield was just a generic monster movie that gave them motion sickness, but the marketing campaign gave me brainrot for YEARS after it faded from the public consciousness.

I have not and don't intend to ever care about anything else JJ Abrams has ever done but god DAMN if he didn't get me with this one.

so yeah there's your ramble thank u come again

[evan4ever]

heyy dear i hope you're well. i wanted to request some frankenkyle fluff with fem reader taking care of a sick kyle. he's just sneezing and coughing all day but doesn't really understand why, he just knows that he's not feeling well and needs more hugs than usual. at first she seems to be a bit hesistant to the touches out of fear of contagion but kyle didn't understand. she eventually caves in when she sees how miserable he is and how badly he needs to be held. no plot just loaaads of fluff. pls? >.<

Sick Boy

Franken!Kyle

Warnings: none, just fluff 🫶🏻

a/n: ugh this is freaking cute and I love it ty for requesting

—

You heard every sniffle and every hack that came from Kyle who was laid in your bed, multiple blankets on him and tissues you had placed beside him. He was obviously sick with some viral infection going around and you had no means of catching it. You were so busy right now, you felt your training and education couldn’t take the hit. But you did make sure Kyle had everything a sick person would need — even brought him some chicken noodle soup to ease his throat and get something in his stomach. You brought him cold medicine and cough drops and even some herbal tea. But he just couldn’t understand what was going on and just wanted you to stay. Though you wanted to love on him, you didn’t want to risk getting sick so you’d keep the check ins quick, only confusing him more.

You heard a long groan from your room as you were leaving the bathroom, planning to go back down to your studies but feeling it was best to just check in on him quick again.

You lightly knocked on the door and opened it, leaning your head in. You saw Kyle pretty much curled up in a ball, Kleenex’s shoved up each of his nostrils. His eyes opened and he met yours with a look of complete fear. Though the sight of the tissues made you giggle, your chest tinged with sympathy. No one likes being sick, you couldn’t imagine how Kyle must feel not knowing what was happening to him. It can be so painful and just overall annoying.

“Help” he croaked out, his voice nearly gone. You sighed and entered the room fully and closed the door behind you. Screw it, you thought. Studies can wait. Kyle needed you, and you wanted to be there for him. No, you didn’t want to be sick, but you also wouldn’t mind getting to be down a few days and just cuddle him.

“Why is this happening?” He grumbled and you chuckled, sitting yourself on the side of the bed and rubbing his arm comfortingly.

“It happens to us all. You caught an infection.” You sigh and he just groans more.

“Hold me? Please?” He says into his pillow, extending his hand to you which you now happily take after accepting that you’d catch it. You squeeze his hand but he holds it tightly and catches you by surprise when he pulls you to forward to him, almost on top of him. He wraps his hands around your waist and snuggles his face into your chest. You giggle lightly, attempting to get yourself under the covers and pulling them up so they were over both of your guys’ shoulders. You finally wrap your arms around him, your hands finding their way to his hair to play with it and massage his head gently.

You feel him relax almost instantaneously in your hold and you can’t help but smile at your sick boy clinging to you desperately. This was all he needed, all he wanted, and he was happy that you were accepting and returning it finally.

“Stay?” He pulled back and looked up at you longingly. Your gentle eyes remained on his, nodding at his request and letting your hands continue working on his scalp.

“I’m here. I’ll stay.” He quickly nodded at your reassurance and gave your body another tight squeeze, nestling his face into your neck and allowing himself to relax more knowing you’re finally there.

You two stayed put, cuddling as if it’d make the sickness go away. Kyle slowly fell asleep, and once you were sure he was, you allowed yourself to snuggle down into him and let yourself doze off too.

[beardedmrbean]

TikTok has given oxygen to some truly outlandish dietary suggestions. Last year, the recommendation to cook one's chicken in NyQuil trended enough that it caused the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to issue a formal statement warning against the practice. "Healthy Coke" went viral as well after a TikTok influencer claimed that mixing sparkling water with salad dressing could create a healthy alternative to drinking Coca-Cola. Claims or recommendations like these often masquerade as "hacks," but they fly in the face of scientific research - or in most cases, even sound logic.

The latest such trend that's gone viral, thanks to TikTok influencers like Pauly Long and the Liver King, is the suggestion to consume raw meat, purportedly to increase energy and improve digestion.

Can you eat raw beef?

Such benefits aren't backed by science, however, and the recommendation to eat raw beef isn't supported by any health agency either. In fact, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) specifically recommends against the practice or even sampling small amounts of raw or undercooked meat.

Not only should you not eat raw beef, it's also important to be careful when handling it. "Make sure to wash hands, separate raw meat from other foods, and promptly store leftovers to ensure safe handling of all cooked foods," advises Audra Wilson, MS, bariatric dietitian at Northwestern Medicine Delnor Hospital.

What is dangerous about eating raw beef?

Failing to do so or choosing to eat raw meat despite warnings against the practice can lead to some potential consequences. Raw beef often contains harmful bacteria such as salmonella, campylobacter, listeria and E. coli - each of which can disrupt the body's digestive tract and cause foodborne illness. Such illnesses can lead to "food poisoning symptoms like vomiting and diarrhea," cautions Wilson. In the elderly, children, and pregnant women, she adds, such bacteria "can cause more severe illness or even death."

The only way to eliminate such risks and kill harmful bacteria associated with raw meat is by cooking it thoroughly, says Julia Zumpano, RD, a registered dietitian at Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Human Nutrition.

At what temperature is beef considered safe to eat?

That means cooking one's meat to temperatures that surpass even what some people order their steaks at in restaurants. "Rare or medium rare steaks still have potential for these bacteria," cautions Zumpano, "it's just much less when compared to raw beef."

To stay on the safe side, the USDA recommends cooking beef, bison, veal, goat, and lamb until it has an internal temperature of 145 degrees, then letting it rest for 3 minutes before cutting into it or eating. Leslie Bonci, MPH, RDN, a sports dietitian for the Kansas City Chiefs and founder of Active Eating Advice, says that ground beef and sausage needs to be cooked even longer, until it reaches an internal temperature of at least 160 degrees. "That's the only way to destroy harmful bacteria that causes food poisoning," she says.

And don't forget to use a meat thermometer when checking meat temperatures. "Accurately use a meat thermometer by inserting it into the thickest part of the beef," advises Wilson. "Using your eyes or nose alone are not effective ways to determine the doneness of meat," echoes Bonci. ___________________________________

Can we maybe just let the herd cull itself here on this one?

Just this once maybe we could try it

[lexosaurus]

The Truth to Light

This was supposed to be a drabble. Day one of Side Hoes Week 2023 featuring Tucker and the prompt "power up!"

Characters: Tucker, the news Words: 1458 Warnings: descriptions of dissecc

[ao3]

****

Tucker powered up his desktop. Anticipation permeated the air, buzzing around the light and bouncing off the walls. Underneath it stank of stress, and below that, rotting deep in the recess of Tucker’s mind was a hint of dread.

Today was the day.

Today would bring the truth to light.

He could have run the program yesterday, or even the day before. But something stopped him. Insecurity prickled his brain, worming its way up his spine and whispering flavors of, “It will never work…you’ll get caught…you’re not good enough at hacking…you’re not that smart…” in his ear.

But no, he was done. He couldn’t let this go on any longer—not if he had the power to stop it. 

And so, today was the day.

He entered his password, then watched as his profile loaded in. Each increase of the bar brought a rise in tension, and he could have sworn his fingers were trembling as he booted up the virtual machine.

There was no more running. Not from this.

Danny needed him.

Amity Park needed him.

Hell, the world needed him.

Even if no one would ever find out who did it.

He clicked on Tor, went to his normal site, opened the chat log, and typed two words in:

>geeksquad: I’m ready.

>cr0mb: You sure?

>Petabyte: Hell yeah, dude.

>geeksquad: Yeah. It’s time. 

****

The video was fuzzy, the frames were clunky. But even so, no amount of low-resolution could mask the horrors on the screen.

Ectoplasm on the floor, the walls. The metal table. The tubes, needles (ugh), metal instruments. The screams, shaky breathing, choked sobs. The deep voice, sadistic chuckles, flat, bored tones. 

The image of his best friend on the screen, grasping onto his chest, ectoplasm seeping through his fingers.

Traumatizing, Tucker realized, wrapping his hands around his perched knees. Watching this, knowing that this was real, was traumatizing. 

And yet, this wasn’t a memory he would be able to unpack in therapy later. Because all this evidence of Tucker’s involvement lived on a hard drive that no one would ever find. No one could ever know.

Not even Sam.

He cut this portion from its tape, dragging the new selection down onto the end of the dozens of other clips just like it. Tucker was going to release the videos in their entirety, of course, but there were weeks worth of content. The likelihood that the average person would even have the disk space to download that amount of content was laughable.

And so, a highlights reel was necessary, and Tucker had to be the one to do it. Which meant he had to sit here alone watching hours of his best friend being tortured. He had to sit here alone and choose the “best” moments to showcase. He had to sit here alone and edit the next viral video together.

And he would do it because Danny would die without it.

How’s that for a ride-or-die friendship, huh?

Danny, you owe me, dude, he tried to joke in his head, but even that tasted sour to him.

He shook the creeping fog from his mind and sat back up straight, put his hand back on his mouse, and got back to work.

****

“We would like to warn you that our next segment contains imagery that is extremely graphic and may be upsetting to some viewers.

“Earlier today, a data breach on the US federal government revealed leaked video footage showcasing details within the Ghost Investigation Ward. The video footage, initially uploaded to Tor under the username Geeksquad, showed graphic treatment and experiments involving Amity Park’s local ghostly hero, Danny Phantom, who disappeared two months ago. Since then, it has been reuploaded all over the internet, sending the world into a frenzy. The video footage revealed insight into the hero who was shown to morph between his popular ghostly appearance, and that of a human, teenage boy as shown here. The teenage boy has been identified as sixteen-year-old Daniel Fenton, child of the famous ghost hunter family, who has been reported missing for the last two months. His family claims they did not know that their child was a ghost, and also expressed doubt that Phantom and their son were connected, suggesting that it may be an attempt for Phantom to gain sympathy from the agents. 

“We will keep you updated as more information arrives regarding this story.”

****

“Breaking news on the details of the leaked Phantom files from the Ghost Investigation Ward. Close friends to Daniel Fenton, the human child that Phantom morphs into numerous times throughout the videos, came out stating that Daniel Fenton and Danny Phantom are, in fact, one and the same. The teenagers told reporters from APC News that Daniel had been in a lab accident in his parents' laboratory two years ago, and that they witnessed the event. They claim that ever since the accident, Daniel had been able to morph appearances between his ghostly and human persona. The teenagers also claim that the accident both killed him and brought him back to life, and as such Daniel still has a heartbeat and a pulse. 

“If this information is true, that could mean severe issues for the Ghost Investigation Ward. Already, protests have broken out in Washington DC as well as Amity Park, Illinois. APC News here with more details to come.” 

****

“As more unfolds about the leaked files from the federal Ghost Investigation Ward, more questions regarding experimentation ethics and the blurred laws between humans and ecto-entities are coming to light.

“APC News was able to interview an anonymous source from within the Ghost Investigation Ward earlier today, who claims that the agents within the GIW did know that Daniel Fenton Phantom had a heartbeat and a pulse.

“‘A heartbeat and a pulse…you know what the implication of this means, correct?’

“‘We all did. And not only that, but we also knew that if his heartbeat stops, then he would die.’

“‘Die. That’s an interesting choice of words.’

“‘It is, isn’t it?’

“The director for the FBI put out a statement saying that while the GIW has been sanctioned to perform experiments to further the knowledge and understanding of ecto-entities, also known as ghosts, they are not authorized to operate outside of the law and perform experiments on US Citizens.

“The director of the GIW, under the code name Agent Alpha, also put out a statement citing that Danny Phantom registers as a level seven ecto-entity and does not qualify as a human, despite the appearance of human organs that seem like life-support. He stated that like other ghosts, Phantom relies on an ecto-core to exist and that his human organs are merely imprints of when he was alive. He reiterates that the Ghost Investigation Ward did not operate outside of the law while Phantom was under their custody.

“Phantom has been relocated to a holding cell while internal investigation and legal proceedings occur.”

****

“Tucker…” Sam’s tilted her head. Dark circles tattooed the skin under her eyes, and her chapped lips pressed into a thin line. She’d lost weight, and her cheeks were hollow, sharp. And yet, that hint of a spark in her eye, that silent flame of determination, had yet to go out.

Although, for as run-down as Sam was, Tucker was sure he looked about the same. 

“What is it?” he asked.

“Do you know who the hacker was?”

Tucker was lucky he was such a practiced liar. But even still, he was sure that not even he could mask how thrown off he was at that question. “How would I know who he was?”

“I know you hang around those circles.”

“Yeah, but it’s all anonymous. I don’t know who anyone is. And besides.” He leaned back in some faux attempt of acting nonchalant. “There are so many hacking groups out there, Sam. It’s not that small or tight-knit of a community.”

“Yeah, I figured,” she said, though her eyes didn’t relax. “I just found it odd, you know?”

He could feel his heart skip a beat. “What’s odd?”

“Well, I found it odd that the GIW was targeted when they had Phantom. And no one else knew that Phantom was there except for us.”

“Or, maybe other people figured it out.”

“Maybe…”

“Come on, it’s not that implausible. Danny disappeared for two months. That’s not really his MO. I’m sure some gray-hat group online did the process of elimination on where he could be and figured out he was with the Guys in White.”

“Yeah.” Sam’s gaze went to her knees, where her hands were clasped. Tucker followed her sight and realized that her fingers were shaking.

He let his tone turn more serious. “Sorry, I don’t know who leaked the files. I promise.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice small. “I believe you.”

****

chapter 2

[mcheang]

Chloe has got to go

Nino calls the resistance together for their next mission. Chloe has to leave Paris. It’s one thing to be unwillingly akumatized, but Chloe smiled and happily stood to abuse the akuma’s power to make them miserable.

Nino looked to Adrien and Lila. “I’m sorry. I know you two are friends with her but Chloe is a liability.”

Adrien: no, you’re right. At this point, Chloe is unremorseful and makes everyone else miserable enough to invite an akuma again. She needs to leave

Lila knows when to pick her fights, and with everyone but her intent on sending Chloe away, it would be a waste of breath. “I agree. I did think Chloe could change slowly over time but that isn’t what Ladybug needs.”

Marinette eyes Lila suspiciously.

Mylene: and how are we supposed to get rid of Chloe? Her dad’s the mayor. And even if we could convince Chloe to move to New York, he would get akumatized because he actually wants the bully around

Marinette: we have to convince the mayor it’s for Chloe’s own good to leave Paris.

Zoe: we have another obstacle, my mother. She doesn’t care that Chloe’s a bully. In fact, she’s proud of her.

Marinette: but knowing her, I am very certain she would care if Chloe makes her look ridiculous.

Nathaniel: as in all her total defeats?

Marinette: precisely.

Lila does warn Chloe that the class will try to talk to her parents about sending her away

Chloe: what a ridiculous idea, utterly ridiculous! Nobody can just walk up to my parents, not even Adrikins. And I always make sure that loser Zoe never even breathes in the same air as us

What Chloe refuses to acknowledge is that her father does like Zoe and does in fact visit his stepdaughter so she isn’t totally alone in the hotel

Andre wasn’t happy with Zoe’s suggestion that Chloe leave Paris even if he admits he empathises with her on how they can both relax when Chloe isn’t around. As a result of their conversation, he tries to invite Zoe to join them for dinner but Chloe shuts him down. Audrey doesn’t bother to raise her head.

Andre feels more sympathetic to Zoe’s suggestion.

Also, Chloe has underestimated her classmates’ again.

While Nino audibly plans to stalk Audrey and make her listen to their idea, Marinette tells Alya in secret that they can just make all the videos of Chloe’s scandals and defeat viral with Max and Markov’s help. She didn’t want to mention this in front of Lila because of how close she is to Chloe.

Skeptical, Alya has to admit Marinette has a point there. Markov and Max easily hack the internet.

Said videos interest Style Queen’s PR team and suddenly she is furious at her daughter for being such a loser. This is hurting both of her parents’ careers.

Chloe: you can’t believe the Internet mother! Those losers just want to kick me out of Paris! Don’t let them win!

Audrey: and let you stay and continue to humiliate the Bourgeois name? Don’t be ridiculous Claudette!

Chloe is angry to invite an akuma. Except Ladybug happened to be around as if she expected one.

Audrey drags Chloe to New York to teach her how to be a winner!

Andre was sad at their departure but Zoe comforts him.

Lila still keeps in touch with Chloe. Her influence over the mayor is still be useful.

[memversemenace]

!WARNING! !WARNING! Security Breach Detected! Engaging anti viral countermeasures.

(Engage Manual Override program. Access Code: **********)

Access Code: Accepted.

Anti-Viral Cournermeasures disabled.

(Uppload audio file Number: 1375)

Upploading... Audio File Upploaded.

(Play Audio File) Playing Audio File:

"Smollusk. A Trojan Horse Virus is hard to locate and remove because it's disguised as a Legitimate program. I Litterally just used it to gain access to your network. Simply trace this message to the program itself and delete it. The Virus will try to stop this so I reccomend you Reboot the system into Safe Mode before attempting the removal. That is all. Agent Dark Out."

End of audio file.

jeez.. is it that easy to hack in here? Uh, thank you for the infowmation, I will talk to Pawallel Canon about rwebooting into Safe Mode.

[mariacallous]

The meeting between top US election officials and their cybersecurity partners from the federal government almost went off without a hitch. Then Mac Warner spoke up.

Warner, West Virginia’s Republican secretary of state, didn’t have a mundane logistical question for the government representatives, who were speaking at the winter meeting of the National Association of Secretaries of State in Washington, DC, on February 8. Instead, Warner lambasted the officials for what he said was their agencies’ scheme to suppress the truth about US president Joe Biden’s son Hunter during the 2020 election and then cover their tracks.

“When we have our own federal agencies lying to the American people, that’s the most insidious thing that we can do in elections,” Warner told the officials from the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security’s Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA), who watched him impassively from the stage. “You all need to clean up your own houses.”

Neither of the officials responded to Warner, and the NASS meeting—a semiannual confab for the nation’s election administrators that deals with everything from mail-in voting to cyber threats—quickly moved on to other business. But Warner, who attended an election-denier rally after Biden’s 2020 victory and is now running for governor on a far-right platform, isn’t a fringe voice in the GOP. His impassioned speech reflected a growing right-wing backlash to the election security work of agencies like CISA and the FBI—one that now threatens the partnership that the federal government has been painstakingly building with state leaders over the eight years since Russia interfered in the 2016 election.

CISA plays a critical role in helping states run secure elections, but its work alerting social media companies to misinformation has earned it special contempt from conservatives. While most GOP secretaries of state are holding their fire about CISA’s efforts to combat online lies, Democrats and nonpartisan experts worry that that could change in the coming years. With national Republicans increasingly turning against CISA—investigating its activities and voting to slash its budget—the agency’s partnerships with GOP leaders in the states are more vulnerable than ever before.

“The hard and necessary work of securing our elections should not be a partisan issue,” says US representative Chris Deluzio, a Pennsylvania Democrat and former cyber policy scholar. “So I am very concerned that some Republican secretaries of state might undermine that work just to serve their selfish partisan interests.”

Stumbling Into Controversy

The federal program that earned Warner’s wrath began as a response to the rampant mis- and disinformation that has spread online since the 2016 election.

Determined to avoid another contest marred by viral false claims about voting processes, CISA in 2018 began coordinating conversations with social media companies and other federal agencies about the best ways to counter dangerous and destabilizing lies. During the 2020 election, through a process known as “switchboarding,” CISA alerted social media firms to complaints from state and local election officials about online misinformation, such as posts advertising incorrect voting times and locations.

It was in this spirit that FBI officials met with Twitter and Facebook executives in the lead-up to Election Day 2020 and advised them to be wary of Russian disinformation operations involving fake documents. That warning later led both companies to suppress posts about a controversial New York Post story about the contents of a laptop belonging to Hunter Biden.

Silicon Valley’s response to the Hunter Biden laptop story outraged conservatives, who began accusing tech companies and their federal partners of conspiring to censor speech in an effort to rig the election. In subsequent investigations, CISA found itself squarely in the crosshairs. The agency had already earned the ire of former president Donald Trump and his allies for reassuring the public about the integrity of the 2020 election, but the new controversy practically made it a pariah on the right.

In June 2023, a House Judiciary Committee report blasted CISA as “the nerve center of the federal government’s domestic surveillance and censorship operations on social media.” A few months later, a federal appeals court partially affirmed a district judge’s ruling that placed limits on CISA’s ability to communicate with tech companies, finding that the agency’s work to fight disinformation “likely violated the First Amendment.”

Stunned by the intense backlash, CISA stopped working with social media platforms to combat mis- and disinformation. The FBI, too, scaled back its interactions with those companies, halting briefings about foreign interference activities. “The symbiotic relationship between the government and the social media companies has definitely been fractured,” a US official told NBC News.

CISA has staunchly avoided acknowledging the reality that its reputation has been damaged.

“CISA’s election security mission is stronger than ever,” says Cait Conley, a senior adviser to director Jen Easterly who oversees the agency’s election work. “We remain engaged with election officials in all 50 states and will continue to conduct all of our work in an apolitical and nonpartisan manner.”

A GOP Split

As the controversies have eroded CISA’s bipartisan brand, Republicans who run elections have split into two camps over whether to keep working with the agency to fight hackers, online falsehoods, and polling-place threats.

West Virginia’s Warner is the indisputable flag-bearer of the anti-CISA camp. “I’ve pulled away from them,” he tells WIRED at the NASS conference, a few hours after venting his frustrations to the federal officials. “I’m not attending their briefings, because I haven’t found anything useful out of them.”

Warner says he’s proud of the “tremendous advances” that federal and state officials have made together on election security since 2016, but he warns that CISA and the FBI will continue losing conservatives’ trust until they investigate their roles in the controversies of 2020. “I’ve brought this to the attention of CISA officials,” he says, “and there’s no effort there to do this.”

Warner argues that CISA’s warnings about foreign disinformation, AI-powered deep fakes, and death threats to election officials are “distractions from the real threat to American democracy” posed by censorship.

It remains unclear how many of Warner’s colleagues agree with him. But when WIRED surveyed the other 23 Republican secretaries who oversee elections in their states, several of them said they would continue working with CISA.

“The agency has been beneficial to our office by providing information and resources as it pertains to cybersecurity,” says JoDonn Chaney, a spokesperson for Missouri’s Jay Ashcroft.

South Dakota’s Monae Johnson says her office “has a good relationship with its CISA partners and plans to maintain the partnership.”

But others who praised CISA’s support also sounded notes of caution.

Idaho’s Phil McGrane says CISA is doing “critical work … to protect us from foreign cyber threats.” But he also tells WIRED that the Elections Infrastructure Information Sharing and Analysis Center (EI-ISAC), a public-private collaboration group that he helps oversee, “is actively reviewing past efforts regarding mis/disinformation” to determine “what aligns best” with CISA’s mission.

Mississippi’s Michael Watson says that “statements following the 2020 election and some internal confidence issues we’ve since had to navigate have caused concern.” As federal and state officials gear up for this year’s elections, he adds, “my hope is CISA will act as a nonpartisan organization and stick to the facts.”

CISA’s relationships with Republican secretaries are “not as strong as they’ve been before,” says John Merrill, who served as Alabama’s secretary of state from 2015 to 2023. In part, Merrill says, that’s because of pressure from the GOP base. “Too many conservative Republican secretaries are not just concerned about how the interaction with those federal agencies is going, but also about how it’s perceived … by their constituents.”

Free Help at Risk

CISA’s defenders say the agency does critical work to help underfunded state and local officials confront cyber and physical threats to election systems.

The agency’s career civil servants and political leaders “have been outstanding” during both the Trump and Biden administrations, says Minnesota secretary of state Steve Simon, a Democrat.

Others specifically praised CISA’s coordination with tech companies to fight misinformation, arguing that officials only highlighted false claims and never ordered companies to delete posts.

“They’re just making folks aware of threats,” says Arizona’s Democratic secretary of state, Adrian Fontes. The real “bad actors,” he says, are the people who “want the election denialists and the rumor-mongers to run amok and just spread out whatever lies they want.”

If Republican officials begin disengaging from CISA, their states will lose critical security protections and resources. CISA sponsors the EI-ISAC, which shares information about threats and best practices for thwarting them; provides free services like scanning election offices’ networks for vulnerabilities, monitoring those networks for intrusions and reviewing local governments’ contingency plans; and convenes exercises to test election officials’ responses to crises.

“For GOP election officials to back away from [CISA] would be like a medical patient refusing to accept free wellness assessments, check-ups, and optional prescriptions from one of the world’s greatest medical centers,” says Eddie Perez, a former director for civic integrity at Twitter and a board member at the OSET Institute, a nonprofit group advocating for improved election technology.

Worse, some CISA projects will become less effective as they lose participants. The EI-ISAC’s information-sharing initiative is only as valuable as the information that state and federal agencies submit to it.

Even if most states stick with CISA, it would only take a few holdouts to create systemic risk. “America's election security posture is only as strong as its weakest jurisdiction,” says David Levine, the senior elections integrity fellow at the German Marshall Fund’s Alliance for Securing Democracy.

Cautious Optimism Despite ‘Strain’

Election security experts and Democratic officials express cautious optimism that there won’t be a GOP exodus from CISA this year.

“I have faith Republican secretaries of state will continue to prioritize their voters and collaborate with CISA to ensure a secure 2024 election,” says Mississippi representative Bennie Thompson, the top Democrat on the House Homeland Security Committee.

Lawrence Norden, the senior director of the Brennan Center for Justice’s Elections and Government Program, notes that some of CISA’s new regional election security advisers “have worked in recent years as or for Republican officeholders,” giving them credibility with GOP leaders.

According to Minnesota’s Simon, “the vast majority of secretaries find these partnerships valuable.”

Still, Warner says some secretaries quietly support his pushback against CISA and other aspects of the Biden administration’s election security strategy. “There [is a] meeting of the minds by some of the secretaries, especially on the right, with some of these similar concerns,” he says, even if “they’re not as outspoken as I am.”

That shared skepticism of CISA means that, even after Warner leaves office next year, the agency will remain on precarious footing with some of its Republican partners. For now, CISA’s allies are left hoping that the agency’s time-tested bonds will prove stronger than pressures from conservative activists.

“You can have strain in some areas of a relationship and still have a strong relationship,” says Arizona’s Fontes. “That’s what being a grown-up is about. And I think most of us are doing that pretty well.”

[ericvanderburg]

Airport passengers warned viral packing hack could see police called and no-fly ban

http://i.securitythinkingcap.com/T86tvc

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x physicist!reader

summary: The aftermath of the leak is hard on everybody from dr YN YSN's circle, but especially for her. The gossip, magazines, paparazzi, and haters do not help the case.

warnings: hate speech, swearing

part 1 part 2

masterlist

@celesteblack08

——————————————————————————————

www.thesun.co.uk/the-higgs-professor-drama

Oxford Is Firing The Famous 'Higgs Professor' and Harry Styles' girlfriend Dr YN YSN

Written by John Addams

The infamous and TikTok sensation dr YN YSN, lecturer at Oxford University, is being fired after intimate photos of her and her boyfriend - Harry Styles, saw the light of the day.

Starting at the beginning, the relationship between two became a fact over a year ago, when dr YSN went viral for her explanation of the Higgs mechanism based on Harry Styles' music. As we got to know from their joined street interview by meetcutesnyc on Instagram, the relationship florished after meeting at their mutual friend's (Christopher Nolan) party. Dr YN YSN was the science consultant for the director's latest movie, Oppenheimer, and Harry started in one of the gratest war films, Dunkirk - making it happen.

Everything was going smoothly till the morning of three days ago. YN's iCloud was hacked, revealing personal and intimate information about not only the owner but her boyfriend as well.

'Dean is furious,' says our source. 'He cannot believe that the best lecturer could be this reckless.' After the posed question on whether the decision of firing could be announced any time soon, they said 'its just the matter of time. But it's going to be sooner rather than later. Oxford is going to lose a fair and talented professor, but it is not its fault. Someone was the author of those, let's say, information that was exposed. And it is going to be the payment for that foolishness.'

When will the statement from Oxford dean's office be released? And what stir will it cause? Be always on time with fresh news with us, The Sun.

——————————————————————————————

harrysmoustache

liked by hArrysbtch, harryupdates and 23 201 others

harrysmoustache Harry and YN couldn't leave a restaurant safely because a bunch of paps and 'fans' showed up at the location. Not only was it physically dangerous, but the things that were spoken towards (mostly) YN were disgusting. Calling her names and ready to fire her from the job on the stop because of the PRIVATE PHOTOS she took with her boyfriend, who someone then ILLIGALY POSTED ONLINE after HACKING HER iCloud. Did y'all forget about TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS????

view all 5 402 comments

harrysmoustache and don't let me start on that bullshit article that The Sun did... RIDICULOUS

harryupdates After all those years, and all those situation that he went through, I'm still surprised that people can be this cruel to gim and people that he loves

hArrysbtch they hatin' my girl because of being sexy on photos... bastards

hArrysbtch why would they care what she does after Uni hours??? it's none of their business

scienceandharstyles it's heartbreaking to see a person that gives others the world and shares her knowledge and wears her heart on the sleeve being treated like garbage

harrymylove those were no harry fans

stylesbabie monstrosity

user65 why do y'all care for her this much?? jezz...

⤷ hArrysbtch maybe because she's a good human being treated like the worst person alive just because she snatched a few photos of her and her boyfriend

⤷ user65 wouldn't that be the consequences of her own actions?

⤷ hArrysbtch nope. her phone was hacked.how many times are you taking a photo on your phone and think 'what if I'm gonna be hacked and this will be posted?'

⤷ harrysmoustache hArrysbtch ohh, babes! you closed that haters mouth!!!

——————————————————————————————

drynysn

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 738 392 others

drynysn During one of my latest lectures, one of the students asked about accuracy in Sci-Fi films, so I decided to start a little series of: Is this SCIENCE or just FICTION? Firstly, we'd look into the scene from Spider-Man 2 (2004). The scene where Peter Parker (Spider-Man) is stopping the train from its eventual crash. He shot multiple web lines, then they stretched and didn't break. One would say it is not possible. But! From the way the scene is shown to the audience, we are able to estimate how strong the web needed to be. After looking up the train's mass, you can estimate its initial velocity (how far it can go per hour, so km/h) by seeing exactly how long it takes to pass the city blocks. (1)

view all 19 291 comments

drynysn (2) You can look up, measure, the distance over the webbing stretches, and then estimate its diameter. You can also count the number of web lines. NOW, we end up with a tensile (fancy way of saying elastic) strength for the webbing that has to be about 1 000 megapascals (mega meaning milion) which is equivalent to about 102 036 704 kilograms per square metre (which is 145 000 lbs/square inch for you, my American friends on here).

drynysn (3) What is absolutely mind-blowing is the fact that the real spider silk has a tensile strength of 1 200 megapascals. So, if Spider-Man's webbing would be anyway that strong, that scene was very, very realistic. Rating it 9/10. What scene would you like to see next?

scienceandharstyles that is so informative and making this movie even more iconic!!! Did you do all the equations yourself, dr YSN?

⤷ drynysn Yes, I did. Took me some time to analyse the scene but it was worth it!

harryupdates oh, i need to rewatch this movie immediately!!!!

harrysmylife could the next scene be the one from The Avengers where Mjolnir after contacting Cap's shield makes that blue light? is that even possible?

⤷ drynysn that's a great scene!

hArrysbtch i love the little explanations in brackets! i didn't need to look up the tensile thingy!!!

harrysmoustache you're telling me the scene i was 100% sure was fake as my eyelashes is true???

user45 maybe you should try explaining showing of that body of yours

user98 is this the way to make money after being fired?

user197 unemployment doesn't suit you but the consequences of your actions finally caught up with you

user348 i think you should start posting one of those photos the sun included in their article - you'll get more attention

comments to this post have been disabled

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 54 281 others

harryupdates HARRY and DR YN spotted in a small restaurant in Oxford (I'm disabling the comments cause I don't want to deal with the haters)

view all 98 comments

hArrysbtch MY PARENTS ARE BACK AFTER WEEKS OF DRAUGHT !!!!

hArrysbtch and they look good

harrysmoustache I missed them so much...

stylesbabie yn looks so tired and sad

⤷ hArrysbtch it's just on eohoto of one moment

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harrystyles via close friends IG story

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londonboyharry

liked by harryupdates and 14 201 others

londonboyharry went to Oxford to bump into Harry. it's better! i met Dr yn ysn, drank coffee with her, talked, and laughed my ass off!!! she is the funniest, kindest, and most down to earth person i've ever met. also, after i asked her about all the things that were happening around her, she just said 'what things?' WITH A SMIRK ON HER FACE, SIPPING COFFEE AND BEING UNBOTHERED

view all 3 201 comments

harryupdates im so happy that she gives no damn to those people online

hArrysbtch I LOVE HER

harrysmoustache the moment the legend the IT girl

stylesbabie happy for you!!!

harrysmylife who would want to meet harry when you can meet Dr ysn??

scienceandharstyles best woman alive

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scienceandharstyles

liked by drynysn, harrystyles and 55 301 others

scienceandharstyles WE GRADUATED OXFORD !!! to anybody who said there is no way of incorporating pop culture with a biology degree? eat shit! i wrote the whole masters based on musicians' impact on fans' hormonal production. hehe. ALSO, it would not have been possible without the best teacher, academic inspiration, and person I've ever met - dr YN YSN. thank you!

view all 18 392 comments

drynysn MADELINE, I am so so proud of you. It would not be possible without your persistence and will to find solutions and answers. This is all yours!

harrystyles Congratulations, Madeline! H, xx.

harryupdates congrats maddie!!!!

stylesbabie very very proud

harrysmoustache did you perhaps use Harry as an example in your work?

⤷ scienceandharstyles YES, I did! Only positive affects of his voice, music and visual...

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oxford_uni

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 748 392 others

oxford_uni Acknowledging the upheaval around one of our lectures - dr YN YSN, the Chancellor of Oxford Univeristy and the Dean of The Department of Physics decided to release the joined statement:

Refuting the words and statements made by publishers not connected to our University, we would like to inform anybody in concern that one of our gratest lecturers dr YN YSN is not decruited. The matter of private life is not concern of the Univeristy authority, even more when the said privacy was bridged. At this place, we would like to congratulate and wish luck during dr YSN's new path - becoming a professor.

view all 64 392 comments

harrystyles ❤️

harryupdates I KNEW IT

hArrysbtch EAT SHIT THE SUN, EAT SHIT JOHN ADDAMS

harrysmoustache HAHAHHAHAHA I KNEW IT !!!! BABY THERE WAS NO WAY THEY WOULD FIRE HER

stylesbabie thank god! there is still hope for this world

scienceandharstyles Chancellor and Dean with the best decision ever made

harrysmylife now haters what??? ha??

harrysfan87 I believed in you guys I did

londonboyharry becoming a professor???? Good luck yn!!

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 284 others

yourinstagram There was no better thing that happened to me than meeting you. Your support means the world. I love you forever.

view all 34 comments

harrystyles Loving you is the greatest honour of all time, my heart ❤️

annetwist My favourite girl in the world (that is not my daughter)!

⤷ gemmastyles thank for clarifying, mum

gemmastyles My sister from another mister!!!

yourbestfriend We need to finally meet up!

⤷ yourinstagram Yessss!

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram,harryupdates, annetwist and 10 302 302 others

harrystyles You're just finishing one of your latest publications on the way to becoming a professor. I couldn't have been more proud and honoured to accompany you during this time.

view all 98 392 comments

yourinstagram I love you. I love you. I love you.

annetwist Our smart professor. ❤️

harryupdates ohhhhhhh 🫠

hArrysbtch I'll never get over him posting her on here

harrysmoustache we are back to normal, baby!!!!!

scienceandharstyles Professor YN YSN sounds amazing!

harrysmylife BEST. COUPLE. EVER.

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a/n: did you like the way it turned out?

[speedyposts]

Ivanti patches two zero-days under attack, but finds another

Ivanti warned on Wednesday that hackers are exploiting another previously undisclosed zero-day vulnerability affecting its widely used corporate VPN appliance.

Since early December, ​​Chinese state-backed hackers have been exploiting Ivanti Connect Secure’s flaws — tracked as CVE-2023-46805 and CVE-2024-21887 — to break into customer networks and steal information.

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Ivanti is now warning that it has discovered two additional flaws — tracked CVE-2024-21888 and CVE-2024-21893 — affecting its Connect Secure VPN product. The former is described as a privilege escalation vulnerability, while the latter — known as a zero-day because Ivanti had no time to fix the bug before hackers began exploiting it — is a server-side bug that allows an attacker access to certain restricted resources without authentication.

In its updated disclosure, Ivanti said it has observed “targeted” exploitation of the server-side bug. Germany’s Federal Office for Information Security, known as the BSI, said in a translated advisory on Wednesday that it has knowledge of “multiple compromised systems.”

The BSI added that the newly discovered vulnerabilities, particularly the server-side bug, “put all previously mitigated systems at risk again.” Ivanti confirmed it expects “a sharp increase in exploitation” once specifics of the vulnerability are made public.

Ivanti has not attributed these intrusions to a particular threat group. Cybersecurity companies Volexity and Mandiant previously attributed the exploitation of the initial round of Connect Secure bugs to a China government-backed hacking group motivated by espionage. Volexity also said it had observed additional hacking groups actively exploiting the bugs.

Ivanti updated its count of affected customers to “less than 20.” When reached by TechCrunch on Wednesday, Kareena Garg, an agency spokesperson representing Ivanti, would not say how many customers are affected by the new vulnerabilities.

However, Volexity said earlier this month that at least 1,700 Ivanti Connect Secure appliances worldwide had been exploited by the first round of flaws, affecting organizations in the aerospace, banking, defense, government, and telecommunications industries, though the number was likely to be far higher.

This is particularly true in light of a CISA advisory released on Tuesday, which warned that attackers had bypassed workarounds for current mitigations and detection methods.

Ivanti’s disclosure of the new zero-day comes on the same day that the company released a patch to protect against the previously disclosed — and subsequently widely exploited — Connect Secure vulnerabilities, albeit a week later than the company had originally planned. Ivanti spokesperson Garg told TechCrunch that the patches also protect against the two new vulnerabilities disclosed on Wednesday.

It’s unclear whether the patch is available to all Ivanti Connect Secure users, as the company previously said that it planned to release the patch on a “staggered” basis starting January 22. Ivanti is now advising that customers “factory reset their appliance before applying the patch to prevent the threat actor from gaining upgrade persistence in your environment.”

State-backed hackers are exploiting new Ivanti VPN zero-days — but no patches yet

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[erius-vidi]

Drivers warned about viral windshield defrosting ‘hack’ that can cause costly damage – ‘please don’t do it’

Drivers warned about viral windshield defrosting ‘hack’ that can cause costly damage – ‘please don’t do it’ Read Full Text