#was going to post all these separately but I think they deserved to be viewed as a whole experience

[feraltwinkseb]

August 26, 2023 - Zandvoort, Netherlands Source: Mario Renzi - Formula 1/Formula 1 via Getty Images

[astonmartinii]

it's got to be time travel | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem footballer!reader

face claim: jessie fleming (i'm a chelsea fan and i'm sad she left :()

they've got all the time in the world for each other, don't ask them where they got that time from though

note: we're also gonna pretend that the women's football and f1 seasons line up here lol

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 1,203,784 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: last sunday lunch before we both have to go back to work :(

view all comments

user1: ffs why do their ACTUAL jobs have to get in the way of my regularly scheduled charles x y/n content???

user2: i personally think that the fia should just give charles the championship and y/n the WSL title so they can just chill together :)

maxverstappen1: not on my watch

charles_leclerc: you don't even follow me? get out of my comments

maxverstappen1: you can't just get given the championship because you have attachment issues WE ALL HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES

charles_leclerc: me i get, but y/n doesn't deserve to win?

maxverstappen1: i never said that. y/n is girlboss slay queen

yourusername: too right i am

charles_leclerc: why are you peace and love with her and not me?

maxverstappen1: she's cool, you aren't

yourusername: can't disagree with that babe soz

user3: i have a feeling that these spats might get worse the longer charles is separated from y/n

user4: waa waa we're all sad their being separated but all i'm thinking is UP THE CHELS

user5: i need the treble right fucking now, a charles championship would be a bonus i guess

lewishamilton: will i get a formal introduction to y/n before we're teammates?

yourusername: YES, YES YOU WILL

charles_leclerc: i guess that answers that

lewishamilton: don't hate the player, hate the game

yourusername: i better see your ass at kingsmeadow at some point, it's fun, even if others think they're too good for it

lewishamilton: i'll be there 🫡

user7: can 2025 come quick.... PLEASE

user8: lol does this mean that charles has offered to take carlos to a game but he didn't go?

user9: ugh what a bore

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,402,667 others

tagged: chelseafcw

yourusername: excited for the new season back with the girlypops :))))))

view all comments

user10: treble or nothing I BEG

user11: it's their year for the champions league i've seen the script

alexalbon: no seatbelt ? way to set dangerous examples to your young audience

yourusername: if you're not careful i'm gonna teach my audience how to put their foot up the ass of those annoying her

alexalbon: ugh i hope you lose :P

yourusername: i don't have to hope, i know your ass ain't gonna be in q3

alexalbon: that's TOO far @charles_leclerc does our years of friendship mean nothing?

charles_leclerc: sorry buddy, i am y/n stan first, human being second

yourusername: as he should.

user12: so like... will we see charles in a y/n jersey again in the paddock?

user13: @ferrari stop being so annoying and let him wear what he wants

user14: i think i tasted paradise when they actually let him wear a y/n canada jersey in montreal

charles_leclerc: never seen someone make blue look so good

maxverstappen1: i'm right here?

sebastianvettel: did the homoeroticism of our challenge videos mean nothing?

danielricciardo: do not lie to yourself

yourusername: sorry sluts, you wish you looked this good

charles_leclerc: they'll never be you 🫶🏻

user15: i know the cfcw admin and pr department have a heart attack every time y/n posts

user16: the way she's out here calling three f1 drivers sluts with no repercussions

yourusername: can't be told off for telling the TRUTH

f1

liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,205,489 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

f1: couple goals! charles leclerc takes pole in bahrain while his girlfriend, y/n y/ln, scored the winner for chelsea women!

view all comments

user19: okay but i've never been in a relationship and am currently rotting on my couch... so who is the real winner here x

yourusername: my handsome boy is so talented :3

charles_leclerc: not as talented as you, pretty girl

yourusername: nuh uh at least my team is competent

charles_leclerc: errrrr

samkerr20: i think you broke him lol

yourusername: sometimes i think he's more loyal to ferrari than me

charles_leclerc: no!

scuderiaferrari: huh?

charles_leclerc: wait...

yourusername: i see :(

charles_leclerc: i'm LOGGING OUT

user20: charles is so lover boy stuck in his tortured poets department (ferrari formula one team)

user21: the way he's probably yelling down the phone to y/n about how much he loves her right now

samkerr20: he is and it's so loud the whole locker room can hear it

yourusername: but he's so sweet isn't he

niamhcharles17: i guess?

alexalbon: we heard it from his side... barf

yourusername: @lilymunhe are you being starved of romance?

lilymunhe: compared to you and charles YES

alexalbon: ummmm get out of my business y/ln

yourusername: you're ALWAYS in my business buster 🤨

alexalbon: NO! i am just passing down the ancient skill of communication?

yourusername: you're such a gossip girl alex

user21: i know they bicker like siblings, but i know deep down that there have been double dates

charles_leclerc: yes, but y/n and i are much better (no offence lily)

yourusername: did you log back in to restart the argument with alex

charles_leclerc: yes!

alexalbon: boo you whore

yourusername: don't talk to him like that 🤨

samkerr20

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 303,445 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

samkerr20: forced to hang out with the straights... they're actually kind of cute

view all comments

user22: you know the couple has to be real cute when even the gays think they're cute

user23: no one can resist the charms of y/n and charles

yourusername: these photos make me think that we are cuter

samkerr20: we are but i didn't want to hurt charles' feelings

charles_leclerc: consider them hurt

samkerr20: boo hoo

yourusername: noooooo i love you xxx

charles_leclerc: hehehehehehehe i love you too xxx

yourusername: i miss you, hurry up and win and come home to me

charles_leclerc: i'm doing my best :(

yourusername: you are the bestest boy

samkerr20: STOP THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A DOG

oscarpiastri: when will australians stop being victims of this relationship

danielricciardo: this is your first season dealing with them properly, buckle up

oscarpiastri: i'm in a relationship but they make me feel so lonely

maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while

yourusername: we're right here

landonorris: let us commiserate in peace

charles_leclerc: ??? do you or do you not get free football tickets out of it?

landonorris: yeha but when we go we just have to watch you cry when y/n inevitably wins another trophy

charles_leclerc: I'M PROUD OF HER AND YOU WON'T SHAME ME FOR THAT

user24: chelsea women players must be so confused when these grown men start arguments in the comments of THEIR posts

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,529,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: weekend off... you know what that means

view all comments

user25: i know there's over 1.5 million likes but how can i gatekeep y/n?

user26: for real

charles_leclerc: the best weekends are with you here

yourusername: i may have a love/hate relationship with this team, but the catering is banging (i may have to move to italy)

chelseafcw: NO MENTIONS OF LEAVING CHELSEA, NOT EVEN A JOKE - NOTHING!

yourusername: okay, sorry guys (the pasta was so good though)

charles_leclerc: not even for me?

chelseafcw: DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU, WATCH OUT OR WE'LL BLACKLIST YOU FROM KINGSMEADOW

yourusername: okay, let's pedal this back. i'm not leaving london and we all still love charles, right admin?

chelseafcw: .... yes

user27: when you're in a who has attachment issues with y/n y/ln and your competition is the chelseafcw admin and charles leclerc

user28: no point even showing up

maxverstappen1: i for one am glad when y/n is in the paddock because it means i can sneak in without the cameras seeing me

yourusername: i am a woman of the people

charles_leclerc: she's such a star, everyone wants to see her

maxverstappen1: yeah i'll give you that

yourusername: we're also hot

charles_leclerc: don't you dare respond to that one max

maxverstappen1: 🫡🫡🫡

user29: patiently waiting for the hq photos of them 😚

user30: gonna print them out and put them in my heart locket

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,398,452 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: babe is top of the league (and top scorer)

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user33: get yourself a guy who flexes your achievements as much as charles does

user34: setting the example tbf

yourusername: my lucky charm, that hat-trick was for you xx

charles_leclerc: would mean more if you didn't score them every week 😭

yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning

charles_leclerc: wanna share some wins with me?

yourusername: you're doing great this season babe, not your fault that nasa decided to rebrand to red bull racing

redbullracing: adrian says thanks 😊

charles_leclerc: DON'T SAY IT Y/N

yourusername: you don't even know what i was going to say

charles_leclerc: ....

yourusername: @redbullracing you got a seat???

charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

yourusername: whoops

user35: y/n really out here trying to get charles that damn seat

yourusername: i'll stop when the horse team makes a championship worthy car that they don't break halfway through the season...

user36: add ferrari to the group of people who shudder in fear when y/n posts

chelseafcw: fine... we hope you enjoyed (no more italy jokes)

charles_leclerc: i had a great time, i always do when i watch y/n do what she loves (slay)

yourusername: awwwwwwwwww i love you charlie

chelseafcw: okay no need to make admin feel that lonely, damn

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,782,309 others

yourusername: finishing my best ever season with a big trophy haul :) now time to support my trophy husband in his day job

view all comments

user41: she really be out here doing it all

user42: i need her to win the Ballon d'Or Féminin PLEASE IT IS TIME

user43: with charles in attendance, first couples red carpet appearance YES, YES RUN IT TO ME PLEASE

charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you, mon amour, constantly inspired by you

yourusername: i love you so much, thank you for being there to support me through it all

charles_leclerc: it's the biggest pleasure in the world

yourusername: i'm all out of winning this season, your turn next weekend?

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

user44: PLEASE I NEED HIM TO WIN GOOD PLEASE

alexalbon: congrats i guess, you're pretty good

yourusername: thanks, since my boyf is so supportive, it's only natural that you have to try and humble me at every turn

alexalbon: you're more famous than us now, we need to keep you grounded

lilymunhe: don't worry y/n he cried nearly just as much as charles when you won the WSL

yourusername: I KNEW IT

charles_leclerc: i still cried more

alexalbon: it's not a competition bro, we all know you're both helplessly in love

yourusername: that we are

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,309,855 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: happiest when i'm with you (and whoever has decided to tag along), oh and winning a race helps as well i guess

view all comments

user45: CHARLES WIN I REPEAT A CHARLES WIN WE WON?

user46: the way y/n went just as mental as us, her and zecira jumping around the garage (and starting the champagne shower after the podium)

user47: really proving that y/n and charles really are each other's biggest fans

user48: thank the lord the WSL season finished when it did so y/n could be there for this win

user49: y/n would've ran to austria to be there i'm sure

yourusername: you know it 🫡

maxverstappen1: had to let you win so you could look cool in front of your infinitely cooler girlfriend

charles_leclerc: not even gonna bite, i'm too happy to care

yourusername: i'll bite - HIS TALENTED BEHIND SCHOOLED YOUR ASS

maxverstappen1: but i called you cool?

yourusername: i'll accept the compliment now, i had to defend charles' honour first

charles_leclerc: heheheehe i'm blushing

maxverstappen1: gross

user50: i need y/n to permanently be in the ferrari garage, they were on it today (i think out of fear)

landonorris: damn i thought i thirdwheeling lestappen was bad, but y/n and charles is a different beast

yourusername: we're both athletes, need to savour the time we have together when we can

charles_leclerc: sorry not sorry you'll get it when you're in love

landonorris: .... i guess i'll die then

fin.

note: i hope you enjoyed !!!! one last WIP to go and good lord the writers block is kicking my ass. but f1 being back should help!!! + f1 academy, much enjoyed it so far.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA if

i had a falling out with this friend of mine, who is also a tumblr user. there have been a lot of reasons for that, and one of the many-many reasons were her political views, that are generally considered questionable by people around here. people usually wanna know if the person they're interacting with is that type of a person. disclaimer: she's not like. A Bigot. or something. it's just that a lot of people are uncomfortable interacting with someone who holds those views.

she's like, not exactly open about them but reblogs a ton from people who are and made a couple posts that make them obvious.

however, she likes interacting with all kinds of people despite their DNIs and stuff, because she thinks there's no harm as long as they don't know, even if it's all on her blog.

now, to the aita part. we don't follow each other anymore but tumblr recommends her posts to me a lot, perhaps because we used to be mutuals/i have some of her posts liked and i cba to go through all my likes to unlike them. no, i don't wanna block her because i don't block people. as a matter of principle. i tried filtering her username out but i end up always clicking on the post anyway. i'm one nosy bitch, what can i say?

sometimes, she posts about my hyperfixation. something that is very dear and important to me. i don't know the reason why she's doing it because she knows nothing about it and doesn't care about it, but sometimes she makes throwaway comments "based on what she heard" (so, based on what I told her while we were still friends).

and for every time she does so that i end up seeing (happened like 5ish times now), i send one of her mutuals who would be uncomfortable interacting with her had they known about her views an anonymous ask about it. i don't leak anything personal that she'd told me or anything of the sort, i just link the accounts of people she reblogs from and some of her posts on the topic like "hey, take a look at that". each time, it results in the person blocking her and thanking me for telling them in a separate post.

on one hand, i'm technically doing the right thing, since these people hate interacting with people like her, and they just didn't browse her blog enough to know that that's the kind of person she is, even though it's all open source. they're grateful i told them, too.

on the other, i'm doing it for incredibly childish and selfish reasons. had i not seen her bring my hyperfixation up, i wouldn't have done that because i'm not mother theresa like that. but for that reason, it brings me immense satisfaction to do so. especially when she posts stuff like "omg, (name) blocked me... why" and has no clue why. in my mind, it's punishment for touching something that i consider My Thing. i kind of want her to someday understand what's going on, even if it's stupid and territorial of me. like that's what's gonna continue happening if you continue touching My Thing, not giving it the respect it deserves at that too. as i've said, she only regurgitates the stuff i told her because she doesn't care about it. i have a suspicion she's only doing it to piss me off in case i still visit her blog. no idea but it does piss me off. and doing what i described really calms me down.

so, aita?

[jennifer-jeong]

Fluff + Suggestive | JJK x GN!Reader How Do They Love?

Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna

SUMMARY Headcanons on how they'd be as your loving boyfriend

CONTENT NSFW, 18+, suggestive, fluff, nothing explicit but lots of suggestive content, mentions their past traumas, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOR NOTES I originally started to work on this just as general headcanons or character sheets/notes but I figured I’d share them as my personal takes on their characters and how they’d be as your partner :) ALSO I will probably post the prompts in a separate post sometime!

WORD COUNT: 1498

GOJO SATORU

One sentence to sum them up Absolutely adores you.

Some adjectives/descriptors Clingy, teasing, bubbly, a little whiny, devoted, genius, cutie patootie

Typa guy/gal/person to… Typa guy to try to lean on a door frame, miss, fall, get back up, and play it off like nothing happened. Bro doesn’t even seem phased, he’s genuinely too silly to feel embarrassed in that situation. He probably gets really flustered about it later once you leave though and then worries that he’s scared you off so he has to hype himself up to talk to you again.

How do they react to your firsts? (kisses, dates, etc.) He’s a bit shy and unsure when it comes to firsts with you because he doesn’t really have a lot of experience, but his desperation for you always overpowers it. He has to fight himself to not come off as too clingy at first because he literally always wants to hang out with you.

NSFW dynamic? Definitely a switch, a power bottom but also a subby top. He worships you and your body so pardon if he comes off a bit strong. Honestly he’s just open to anything as long as it’s with you. He’s so down bad for you and you’re the same for him.

How do they take care of you? He’s overprotective because he’s lost too many of his loved ones, he’s the strongest so he’s always a target, he just doesn’t want to accidentally make you one too. If anything ever did try to harm you, the sweet Satoru you know would turn into a killing machine whose rage would know no bounds. He’s not amazing with his words but he’ll always be by your side no matter what, always putting in his best to treat you the way you deserve.

How do you take care of them? Satoru is always hiding emotions underneath and you take care of him by giving him such a safe space to express them. He confides in you and you never fail to make him feel better. He’s never really had someone like this before and so you adore being able to show him just how loved he is by both you and his loved ones. When he’s with you, he’s not the strongest, he’s just Satoru, just how he likes it. (You also always make him his favourite kikufuku especially when he’s feeling down)

How do they view you? You’re his one and only. You’re his best friend and a goddess in his eyes and he’d stop at nothing to protect you. Even if you’re strong yourself, he’s always going to be stronger than you so he's a bit scared he’ll lose you sometimes. Overall, he thinks of you as someone who stands strongly beside him, not behind.

Something random they do Will fart into a little sphere of infinity, and then send the bubble towards you, popping it nearby you while you yell. He’ll also send over other random things like snacks, bugs, leaves, and flowers <3

NANAMI KENTO

One sentence to sum them up The epitome of “written by a woman”

Some adjectives/descriptors Respectful, caring, empathetic, giving, honorable, does what’s right

Typa guy/gal/person to… Typa guy to never let you open a door, pull out a chair, or lift something by yourself. He will sprint, face completely serious (trying not to laugh), just to make sure he can do it for you. You always reward him with lots of kisses of course.

How do they react to your firsts? (kisses, dates, etc.) He’s definitely quite shy about things like this but knows what he wants. He’s a gentleman through and through so he’ll always be very respectful and calm even while his heart is beating out of his chest and his face is flushed red.

NSFW dynamic? Service dom. That’s all I have to say. He’s also open to trying things with you, especially when it comes to dom and sub dynamics and especially switching. Your pleasure and comfort always come first for him

How do they take care of you? Kento is such a sweet and observant person that he always just knows what you need, sometimes before you even know it. He’s always calm to help you stay calm and adores providing you with acts of service when his words fail him. Despite his own doubts in his communication skills, he is still very good and mature with his words when he does use them.

How do you take care of them? You take care of him by making sure he knows he’s loved and by making sure he doesn’t work too hard. The man is a workaholic and functions off of doing what’s right, even to his own detriment. So you make it your job to make sure he learns when to rest and to accept that he is loved and that he’s doing good for the world. He also tends to blame himself a lot for the past and you ensure he knows it’s not his fault.

How do they view you? Nanami views you as the embodiment of beauty. He thinks you’re gorgeous inside and out, and that you just exude such a warm energy that never fails to comfort him. You fill his heart in ways that he didn’t know was possible and he’s so happy to have you.

Something random they do Hits the standing person emoji pose unintentionally. Don't get me wrong he's very elegant still, but when he spaces out a bit, he just puts his hands at his side. When you start laughing at him for it, telling him he looks like the emoji, he stands even more aggressively straight, making you copy him and laugh harder while he tries not to laugh as well.

RYOMEN SUKUNA

One sentence to sum them up Edgelord with a good heart (NOT CANON)

Some adjectives/descriptors Stoic, possessive, grumpy, loving, soft only for loved ones

Typa guy/gal/person to… Typa guy to get mildly annoyed with you when you try to tie up his hair into pigtails, put stickers on him, do his nails, or do his skincare. BUT, will always let you do it and will always keep it the way you’ve done it, he actually quite likes when you clean up his nails and paint them black. He also keeps all the stickers you give him on his laptop and enjoys doing face masks with you.

How do they react to your firsts? (kisses, dates, etc.) Interestingly, Sukuna probably seems like he’s not even interested in you when you first start dating, but he keeps asking to meet you. You’ll definitely see him blush and freeze up when you hold hands or kiss because he wants you so badly but doesn’t know what to do.

NSFW dynamic? Soft dom but has hard kinks. He would never hurt you so he makes sure to check what you like before you do anything. If you’re also into doing it rough though… He’ll show you a glorious time.

How do they take care of you? Sukuna knows he doesn’t come off as the most doting and outwardly kind person and he doesn’t think it’s something that will change. But, he does know that if he’s not putting energy into doing all that, he’s putting 100% of his energy into showing you how much he loves you. He’s always trying to help you how he knows best. He’ll always run errands for you, pay for things, gives you lots of cuddles and massages, and he’ll never ever be late.

How do you take care of them? You take care of him by really targeting that soft spot he has for you, hoping that you can continue to soften up the tough man. He definitely represses his emotions a lot since he feels the expectation to always be strong, and in classic man-fashion, decides to bottle things up. You ensure he has a space to be himself around you and to learn and test how to communicate and accept that he’s loved.

How do they view you? Sukuna tends to look down on humans most of the time and you can’t deny that a lot of humans are quite stupid. But, with you and only a handful of others, he feels a different energy. You feel so whole to him, you’re well rounded and just so perfect. You’re smart, funny, and so loving to everyone around you.

Something random they do Most definitely punches and beefs your plushies on your shared bed. Most of the time he doesn’t even say anything as he does it. Just gives them a solid punch, maybe even grabs it and slams it into the bed a few times, leaving the filling inside the plush a little deformed. You always just ask him “why” and most of the time he responds with a last little punch to it, but sometimes he’ll say “cause they get to sleep with you when I’m not home.”

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi, Raven! I just wanted to ask if it's very pressuring to be seen as like this type of fandom authority/big figure in the twst fandom? Which you're not, and I'm aware of it but I can't help but think and notice that a lot of people generally view you and your blog in that manner. I hope that hasn't soured your enjoyment in the fandom btw if it is the case, it can be daunting to be kind of upheld to a standard and responsibility you didn't ask for. But I hope you're still having fun and enjoying yourself because that's what fandom really is about at its core. Hope you have a good day!! 💖

Well 💦 it’s stressful, yes. but only when I’m made cognizant of that. Typically I don’t think of myself as being in that position, but I’m reminded of it when I receive the occasional ask that opens or closes their question/comment with really intense praise.

Thankfully, I have the luxury of being selective about which asks I reply to, but sometimes it can be as simple as skimming an ask that brings about a churning dread or cognitive dissonance in my stomach. I take a lot of time to formulate what I hope are thoughtful responses in part because I feel like I have some degree of responsibility for those who seem to place so much stock in what I say… It makes me anxious about all the potential ways it could go wrong. Unclear wording/tone misconstruing the intended message, people weaponizing my posts to justify their own takes, arguments breaking out, etc. Then that leads into worries about not deserving this position (ayy, love imposter syndrome/j) and it becomes a cycle that’s hard to break.

If people want to view me as some higher authority or big figure, then there’s only so much I can do to stop them. I can tell others all I want that I don’t like being put on such a high pedestal all I like, but it would do very little to change their mindsets. The best I can hope for is reminding them of where my boundaries lie when people start to act too attached to me. Like, you definitely should not be soliciting free favors, seeking validation, asking for life advice, and/or traumadumping to me, a complete internet stranger. (These have all happened before.) Remember, me being friendly ≠ being friends with me.

I’ve never been someone who reacts well to parasocialism or celebrity culture (something which I highlight in this post). I like to compartmentalize, separate reality from fandom, keep to myself and my own lane, be a private person… so it’s unnerving for me to suddenly be the recipient of parasocial behaviors. Again, I must stress that parasocialism is, in of itself, NOT a bad thing. It can, however, quickly snowball into emotional dependency or a falsified sense of intimacy. That’s why I keep stressing—especially recently—that I have to draw the line and make my boundaries clear.

Now, that isn’t to say that all of my parasocial experiences have been negative ones. Far from it! I’ve had the honor of meeting and getting to know many cool individuals through my activity in this fandom. (If you’re reading this, you know who you are 🫵) I’ve been able to participate in numerous group projects and activities alongside those people. I’ve gotten fan art and interesting asks from so many Twsties that are just as excited about my OC or new story content as I am. I’ve received kind words when I really needed them or when I least expected it. I will forever be grateful for that ^^ and I’d still say that the majority of my time in the TWST fandom has been chill and fun.

In my experience, I’ve seen both the highs and lows of fandom as the result of parasocialism. I of course evaluate them on a case-by-case basis, but what I want to point out is that I do not want overfamiliarity or people overstepping, especially if I have never spoken with you one-on-one off-Anon before 💦 I think that’s reasonable for me to request.

[i-heart-hxh]

So, I was reading that ask about why Killua pushed Gon away in chapter 231, and the part where you said, 'It’s actually part of a larger pattern we see with Killua’s behavior towards Gon, where he decides to “protect” him by leaving him out of things and not giving him the full context of what’s happening,' really made so much sense to me for other moments between them! Do you think there's a connection to why Killua leaves in the end and doesn't tell Gon the full extent of what had hurt him?

+ in addition to my ask about that chapter (you can paste them together! character limit), I wonder if this behavior plays a role in how short and abrupt the separation was. Maybe it was time to let each other go for a while because Killua still don't know how to deliver the full context of his broken heart to Gon, and Gon knows better than push him to say it as he's still processing what he did and doesn't feel worthy of Killua's presence (Gon has never had a huge self-esteem to begin with)

Hello anon! Thank you for the thought-provoking messages--I love having conversations with people about the specifics of what happened between Gon and Killua because there's just so much to unpack there. Even after all the years I've spent in this fandom I still feel like there's always more to untangle.

Also, anon is referencing this post.

Killua sometimes hides things from Gon to protect him from other people or situations (or, in many cases, how he thinks Gon will react to those people/situations)--but he also hides things from Gon about his own internal thoughts and feelings for a few reasons that all blend into each other.

Most simply, Killua's upbringing actively tried to get him to suppress his feelings. While of course this failed to a certain degree, being raised in an environment where sharing feelings and even having feelings was actively discouraged is not an easy thing to unravel. This makes it exceptionally difficult for him to share his deep feelings and vulnerabilities and directly express his love--aside from in acts of service, which seems to be the only acceptable Zoldyck love language, essentially. He was always appreciated at home for what he did and not who he is, which is why he gets so flustered when Gon compliments him simply for being himself.

As the series goes on, Killua is increasingly fearful (as a result of the situations with Kite and Palm and not winning against Shoot due to the needle) that he'll lose his place at Gon's side or that Gon will confirm that Killua isn't as important to him as Gon is to him, so that makes it difficult for Killua to take any risks as far as how vulnerable he is with Gon. Because so much of his self-esteem hinges on how useful he is to Gon, the thought of being pushed away is terrifying to him. This makes his courage in standing up to Gon when Gon confronted Pitou exceptionally meaningful, and especially when his worst fears play out as a result--Gon does actually push him away, and then tries to throw his own life away as penance for what happened to Kite.

Killua views himself to a certain degree as essentially the shadow to Gon's light. Killua isn't even sure he deserves to be with Gon. He sees himself as someone who has been tainted by his upbringing, by his history of running from difficult opponents, etc. So, he thinks he needs to protect Gon in not just a literal sense but also a metaphorical sense--to make sure Gon doesn't end up like him. He knows Gon isn't "normal" either, but he sees Gon as someone who can lead him out of the darkness into living a more normal life, like he wants. But in order for this dynamic to continue, Killua puts himself in a role where he has to keep Gon from being tainted by the world, and also to a certain degree, from being tainted by himself and what he's been through. Of course, Gon's mental state ends up falling apart regardless with what happens and Killua is forced to confront that Gon isn't a pure being of light, but another traumatized boy who ended up in situations he couldn't handle. Killua feels partly responsible for what happened to Gon as well, because he fled from Kite with Gon, and because he couldn't change Gon's self-destructive course.

I absolutely think these tendencies play into why they have to separate, and why the separation is so brief. I don't think Killua is ready to open up and tell Gon the full extent of how he feels and how much both seeing Gon self-destruct and being pushed away hurt him. Even though Gon survived because of Nanika, Killua essentially watched him commit suicide. Of course he needs time to process that. Plus there are external factors that make the separation necessary (Alluka/Nanika, Illumi pursuing them). This post is important reading on the separation, as it affected my view of what happened between them.

Gon knows he hurt Killua deeply, and like you said I don't think he wants to push Killua into talking more about it after what happened. I'm sure they had some sort of conversation between Gon waking up and their parting that we didn't see, but I doubt it was a conversation where they delved deeply into the issues between them. I think Gon likely apologized, forcefully and wholeheartedly, but not in a way that had a complete enough understanding of what happened/what hurt Killua for it to be what they need.

It always boils down to the two of them loving each other but essentially feeling they don't deserve the other due to their own self-esteem issues.

I also think it was brief out of necessity--they didn't want to leave each other, clearly, so to drag it out risks them not being able to let each other go.

As I've said before, as much as the issues between them are deep, I have a lot of faith that they will end up reuniting and reconciling and having a better relationship in the future. The separation gives them both some space to think about what went wrong and why, and to figure out who they are individually and what kind of relationship they want to have in the future. They both need some time to mature and understand themselves better in order to reach that point.

Thank you for the asks!

[poughkeepsies]

We as a society have failed by not giving the dinner scene with Taylor the acknowledgment it deserves in the buddie moments hall of fame and I will now explain why. With 9-1-1, the golden rule is always to view the episodes' themes through the lens of the episode titles - almost every scene, call, and interaction can be traced to some interpretation of the episode title. With 511, it's clear that as the A plot of the episode, Eddie is the outsider looking in and this is also shown in the latter half of the dinner scene with him telling Buck to move on (now that I think about it, they're both outsiders in that scene. Eddie is alienating himself from the 118. Buck is being alienated from Eddie.) But in the first half of the dinner scene, with Taylor, Buck, Eddie, and Christopher around the table, Eddie is clearly not the outsider, Taylor is. What's more, being the outsider is her only role in that scene.

Food has always been a primary love language in 9-1-1, and, this scene being the first time we see Eddie cook a meal, it's clear that the choice to have Buck and Christopher eating it is just another way to highlight the family dynamics that exist between them, a family that is separate from the found family of the 118. Including Taylor in the scene could have been a way to symbolize her integration into the most intimate parts of Buck's life - Buck, Eddie, and Christopher are a package deal and Taylor being a part of that dynamic would narratively show her as on the same level as them (something to point out here - if this was any other show/ship, some would read this the other way around. Taylor is his girlfriend so it would be more significant to Eddie and Christopher's place in Buck's life to show them on the same level as Taylor. But this is 9-1-1 - the scene takes place in Eddie's house and leaves no room for doubt that Taylor is the one being allowed access.) But instead, the deliberate narrative choice was made to make Buck be the one to exclude her from the symbolism of the food. He tells her to eat before coming, presumably as a favor to her so she wouldn't go hungry, and because of this she's left awkwardly swirling her fork on her plate while everyone else digs in.

Which brings me to the main point of why I made this post and the most important most insane most brain-rotting part of this scene: Buck himself didn't eat before coming. He fully expected Eddie's food to taste like garbage and he still went in there and filled up his plate to the brim. He probably heard Eddie's excitement about finally learning how to cook and making an edible meal and steeled himself to shove every last spoonful down his gullet no matter the cost because Eddie wanted to make a meal for him. Because, and I cannot stress this enough, it's not about the food. It's about the act of making the food, making all that effort so your loved ones will eat well. It's about receiving the food and showing your appreciation for the labor of love that went into it. It's about taking care of someone and being taken care of, both of which require a vulnerability that hides nothing. And when that time came, Eddie sat there with a satisfied smile watching his boys eat and tease him, and Buck and Christopher were giddy with their enjoyment of the food and the chance to tease Eddie together. And Taylor sat there awkwardly making dessert jokes.

(the most important thing about the above post is that I came up with none of it and it all came from the beautiful brain of @colonoscopys, who peer-pressured me into making this post instead of her via my innate and all-encompassing desire to give her everything she wants)

[thatgirl4815]

Ray's Feelings

Ray's process of falling in love with Sand has such nuance to it that I think gets horribly overshadowed by his actions alone, not their context. Yes, Ray mistreats Sand. Yes, Ray has a lot to apologize for. But I think Ray is a broken person who has a lot to apologize for because he's in a situation that he is grossly under-equipped, both mentally and emotionally, to handle.

@victorialovesstiles' post here includes a great discussion of the moment Ray becomes fully aware of Sand's feelings for him in Ep8. Up to this point, I don't think Ray tried to pin down exactly how he felt for Sand because the situation didn't necessitate it. He and Sand were "friends," and that label was always fine with Ray, until it wasn't enough anymore, until Sand couldn't put up with it. Looking back on all of this progression, I'd argue Ray has had feelings for Sand for as long as Sand has had feelings for him, but he hasn't been in a place to confront them the same way Sand has. It makes sense given that Sand is the one in the bad spot, watching Ray chase after Mew. If their situations had been reversed, I think Ray would've had to contend with his feelings much more directly much earlier.

Ray makes comments like this that point to the depth of his feelings, but he never truly vocalizes them outright until later in Ep9. Ray realizing how happy he is with Sand and admitting to that is the first step in the recognition of his true feelings, that he sees Sand as more than a good friend who takes care of him and just so happens to sleep with him.

Ray's feelings are strong, but they are also delicate, as demonstrated by the fight at Sand's apartment in Ep10. This dialogue in particular:

Ray thinks he deserves to be upset for having his emotions played with, which says more than anything how much Ep9 meant to him. It's also important in the context of money, because Ray's self-worth is so heavily influenced by what he can offer other people: if nothing else, he has always had his wealth to fall back on. And here is Sand claiming to love him, but all Ray can see is someone who accepted payment. Every conversation they’ve about the separation of feelings and money is being put into question.

At the end of Ep10, Ray echoes his dialogue in Ep8. I personally like that Ray makes a point of saying how happy he is with Sand; what stands out to me here is that Ray is confessing this to imaginary Sand, so he's technically only really admitting it to himself. He makes me happy and I keep screwing it up. He does care, and he's always cared, but I can't do anything but ruin it. I was made to ruin things. Those are all thoughts that seem to lay at the core of his dialogue at the end of Ep10.

I guess my main point here is that we witness Ray returning to this idea time and time again that when he's with Sand, he's truly happy. Sand sees beyond his problems, beyond the brokenness. Even with how complex their situation is, there's something so beautiful about that simplicity. Sand makes Ray happy. That’s what it’s always boiled down to.

"I know now that you want nothing from me" -> I have a feeling this entire speech from Ray is going to form a deeper trust between Ray and Sand. Ray knows now that Sand is true. He knows that he has overthought everything. The reason why Ray skews the situation with Sand is because Ray is so used to viewing himself in a negative light, but he was clinging to the hope that Sand didn't see him that way. Even when other characters insult Ray for his behavior (which isn't entirely undeserved), Sand was always there to explain why he was wrong, to encourage him to be better. When it's Sand, it's about growth, not just recognition.

The ending scene in Ep10 is such a catharsis because Ray is finally coming to terms with the fact that virtually all of the doubts and complexities surrounding his relationship with Sand were created by him. But Sand has always been true. Sand has always loved him. And now that he sees that, he knows just how important it is that he clings to that love and never lets it go.

[the-furthest-city-light]

My unhinged thoughts on Luffy and Garp's relationship post-Marineford

Y'all have a very lovely comment on one of my fics to blame for this rant on Luffy and Garp's relationship and where they stand after Marineford:

Luffy and Garp as they relate to each other is so interesting because I think despite his absences, Luffy acquired a lot of his ideas about what family is and isn't from Garp. And, maybe, learned to separate what a person is to him from who that person is, too. In a way I think that's why he imprinted so hard on Shanks--he's the first person Luffy met whose role in his life matches who he is as a person and it's why he builds himself a family by acquiring people whose goals match his own so that there IS no conflict. Fast forward to Luffy as a teenager, we see that when Luffy is confronted by a person who has a conflict with his own ideals and goals, it doesn't present an inherent issue for him--that's the primary way he relates to people anyway (for ex: Coby).

Garp is also the one who modeled for Luffy that presence/time spent doesn't correllate to the strength of a relationship, that just because Garp wasn't there all the time doesn't mean they don't have a bond. And yes this gave Luffy all the abandonment issues but it's clear that Luffy has accepted it by the time canon comes around. At some point he clearly decided to view it as "Gramps gave me what he needed and made sure I had a family to grow up with and that's plenty, of course he loves us," and not "Gramps abandoned me and never loved me."

On top of all of that, whatever else Garp did or did not think about him, Ace, and Sabo, and their dreams, Luffy grew up knowing that Garp valued them and their lives above the letter of the law and his job. Luffy never cared who Ace's dad was, but he grew up knowing that Garp also knew and always thought he deserved to have a chance to live, and always loved Ace even if he never approved of the kids' desire to be a pirate. He knows that Garp values family over the law.

And then there's Garp. Garp who Sengoku describes as "a family man more than a marine." Garp who refused (multiple!) promotions to the Admirality because he didn't want to serve the Celestial Dragons, Garp who Roger trusted with his very own kid. His parenting techniques might be...questionable (read: If this was a real man he would have CPS called on him so fast but we're going with the intended reading of him from the manga) but it's clear he loves the kids. We also know the man has a flexible view of the law, he's a Marine because he believes it's where he can do the most good/help the most people. He views the rules as things he can bend if not break (a quality that clearly gets stronger as the generations pass lmao). He doesn't seem to respect authority, but he DOES seem to respect the need for the perception of it, or at least the role the Marines need to play in the eyes of the public. He believes people need heroes to believe in, and he believes the Marines should fill that role, and that's what he spent his life trying to embody.

And then Marineford.

Garp is caught between these two things: his family, and the institution he devoted his life to. And it sucks, obviously. He goes to visit Ace in Impel Down and he tells him a few things, but Garp says 1) No one can stop the war (not even him), 2) he's proud of Luffy for everything he did at Enies Lobby and Sabaody, (which also tells Ace that he's not condemned in his eyes for being a pirate--the condemnation of his life is coming from the institution Garp works for, not from Garp as a judgement of the man he became).

Ace responds by saying Whitebeard is the only father he has (ouch--Garp is the only father figure Ace grew up with), which is the last exchange we have until this:

Garp believes in the need for the execution and the war in general--the problem for him is that this is his family. This is the baby he took responsibility for, a kid he's loved for years. So Garp doesn't do anything in the war, doesn't object or condem. All he does is take a seat next to Ace, keeps him company. And to be fair to Garp? It doesn't seem like Ace expects anything more. And it seems like he appreciates it.

So he's got one kid on the execution stand, and he's resolved to let him die for the sake of what he thinks is the greater good. And his other kid, the one chasing the same fate that's getting Ace killed now, is trying to save his life. And he just...watches it unfold, because he's trapped by his own convictions--another thing he passed down to both of the boys, so how can he betray what he told them and not hold steady to his own beliefs?

I think for Luffy, he probably didn't have much time to process Garp's presence at Marineford or his role in Ace's execution at the time. In fact the only time they really interract directly is this moment from a chapter literally titled "The Execution Platform":

The title obviously refers to the literal execution platform Ace is on that Luffy has been trying to reach the entire arc but metaphorically? It's also about this. Luffy, being confronted with a grandfather who is for some reason putting his job over his brother's life, and Garp, making a last ditch effort to stand by his own conviction.

There's no way Luffy can understand this decision in the moment--he already made the same one on Amazon Lily, where he was faced with the option to either go and meet his crew on Sabaody (keep following his dream) or go after Ace. He chose Ace, because Luffy always chooses people over his own goals. I think he would understand Garp more if he had been present for Garp and Ace's conversations on the scaffold, but he wasn't.

There's an argument to be made here that Garp is giving Luffy the opportunity to save his brother by stepping in himself and letting Luffy punch him. It would be more plausible except for the fact that Garp calls Luffy "Straw Hat" here instead of "Luffy." He drops the familiarity, and he sets himself in Luffy's way, even when Luffy begs him. I don't think Garp knew he was going to let Luffy knock him away until the very last second. Not until Luffy committed to punching him.

He gives Luffy this one last piece of advice, this one last chance to be his grandfather, where he says "this is the path you have chosen, and it will be difficult, but you're on it now and you have to commit.":

And he remembers Ace saying he wants to live, and lets Luffy hit him to get to his brother.

This is the last we see of their relationship. Luffy doesn't mention him again except to tell Chin Jao off in Dressrosa. Presumably he processed how his relationship with his grandfather has changed in the aftermath, but what he thinks about it? Mostly a mystery. All the things he got from Garp are still true, and I think he still probably manages to compartmentalize most of it as a person vs. dreams/conviction thing. Luffy wouldn't judge Garp for his decisions, and he wouldn't hold resentments either. Whatever he feels or doesn't feel toward Garp, it's definitely overshadowed by Ace's loss.

For Garp's part, the man retired immediately after the war. Luffy literally says "If I don't do everything I can to save Ace, I wouldn't be able to live with myself" a few chapters before the execution stand, and Garp didn't live with himself, at least not without changing his circumstances. He gave up his commission to run escorts for royalty and train people. We do know he's still proud of Luffy, like he told Ace in Impel Down, and he laughs when Luffy's New World exploits are brought up. Garp's the one with regrets, not Luffy, and I think if they ever speak again (who knows, with Garp being...y'know), it'll be about those regrets.

What else do you talk about with estranged family?

[returnofthelightt]

Hasta & The Final Girl Trope In Horror Films: A (Mini) Analysis

Here on this post, I wanted to make a short analysis on how I think Hasta connects to the The Final Girl Trope.

☆ Please note that the Final Girl Trope actually has evolved. The trope characters are not what it used to be, I will be going back to the original origins of this trope.

☆ In addition to the Hasta Nakshatra, I found that many of the women playing have Mula, Revati and Mrigashira as well. My research today only focuses on Hasta but please note it is not limited to this Nakshatra only.

☆ Many of these references that are used are personal opinions and theories. If you do not agree or have a different opinion I would love to hear it! But please be respectful in doing so.

The Final Girl Trope

The Trope Itself

Before diving deeper into the hasta Nakshatra, let’s look at the ‘Final Girl’ trope description.

The final girl in movies is usually the last person standing or is the only woman that can make exit in the movie. They are usually described as being the virgin or sexually unavailable, refraining from sexual activities, as well as alcohol and drugs. Additionally, many of the Final girls portrayed had Brunette her instead of Blonde (blonde characters - specifically women, were perceived as highly promiscuous). If not all the time, most of the final girls are known to be more intelligent or at least carry smarter decision-making. They are the first ones to sense that something is ‘off.’ As mentioned before, Hasta’s sign of Virgo, is ruled by Mercury (Mercury exalts in Virgo). Mercury rules human intellect, as it is a combination of the sun (the soul) and the moon (mind). 

If we look at even the basics, the sign of Virgo is ‘The Virgin.’ Virgin women are often stereotypically described along the lines of being pure, innocent, chaste, and so forth.

Additionally, the women have an androgynous appearance - with their names and clothing sometimes being unisex. Claire Nakti in her Hasta Nakshatra video discussed how they manifest their traits through purity and by detaching from male influence. Claire also talks about how “Hasta women like to prove their worth without needing men, as well as female power separated from female appearance/sexuality” (this can be depicted in numerous ways such as their work, appearance and so forth). Hasta picks up all external influences, analyzes them, and discriminates based on their observations. Hasta picks out men and realizes only the divinity is deserving of her.

It’s hard to exactly state if The Final Girl trope exudes the real meaning of feminism, or at least women standing up for themselves against evil. However, I wonder if Hasta’s appearance in these films unconsciously aims to reject the typical views that some males hold of women (i.e. unintelligence), and how his perception of the Final Girl often ends up with the evil male lead having to disappear to avoid being killed or eventually is killed. Claire Nakti also mentioned how many Hasta women are involved in using books or poems to criticize male behaviour, male sexuality the struggles of women opening up, and the promotion of female independence regarding intellect. The Final Girl in the film must use her wit to decipher the situation and defeat the Killer through the use of her hands.

If we decipher Carol J Clover’s book on the Final Girl trope, she does mention how the victims in Slasher films are mostly viewed as women, whereas the evil characters are males. Often these Final Girls are initially stereotyped for the male gaze at the beginning of the film, but eventually, the viewer roots for the final girl to defeat the monster. The woman becomes ‘masculinized’ when she is forced to defeat the monster by utilizing a weapon.

Carol further emphasizes this action while discussing how the killing of the monster/killer can be related to ‘castrating’ the male, which in return eliminates the ‘threat’ to the uterine. The body part that represents Hasta’s is the palm of their hand. The Hasta Nakshatra is known for manifesting outcomes with their hands. In Komilla’s Sutton book, she describes how Hasta can be related to elephants, as they use their trunk as an extra hand to complete their task. I thought this was interesting considering the quote ‘to hold something/someone in the palm of your hand,’ pretty much means you the influence or control of something/someone. The symbolism of the hand of course can be also correlated to their Deity, Savitar - The Sun God. Savitar was known to be skillful with his hands.

In all, I do think Hasta has some correlation with the Final Girl Trope, whether it would be in films or tv shows. I do think there are many of factors (my own personal ones) and others that are discussed in Clover's book. It wasnt that long, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Feedback would be greatly appreciated xx.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

I saw the Barbie movie.

One thing I did not expect was to have Feelings about what it is like to be a neurodivergent woman.

This wasn't even really addressed in the movie directly at all (aside I guess from having "weird Barbie" who lives separately from everyone else and takes in the "broken Barbies", and all of the super-positive and "uplifting" Barbies who were supportive of each other were OPENLY rejecting her because of things that were beyond her control and didn't even make her harmful to their society, just not entirely Like Them...)(okay I guess I lied, I guess they did address it and it didn't really click for me until now). (I'm still leaving that sentence in because I'm so shocked at how the point of this post is how minimized I have felt as a woman, TO THE POINT I APPEAR TO HAVE MINIMIZED THE WOMAN I CAN ENTIRELY EMPATHIZE WITH.)

Anyway. It was made EXTREMELY clear by my peers from literally day one that I was Different. I mean, I'd had one-off interactions with kids before kindergarten, but going to school was the first time I was seeing the same group of children every day.

I remember being utterly baffled. Many kids seemed to understand what to do already. Most kids were friends with someone by the end of the first day. One of my most vivid memories was from the first day almost 30 years ago, when I turned to one of the girls -- her name was Sofia, she had waist-length black hair, and her name card was a laminated piece of letter practice paper. I asked her, "How does everyone know this already?"

Her answer was that she went to preschool, and for the longest time I thought that was it. I thought that was the only reason why I didn't Get It, and never Got It from then until I graduated and from then until after I got and quit my first job and moved onto my second job (where there happens to be A LOT of neurodivergent people and I seem to get it a lot better now). It didn't occur to me that there were other kids who admittedly didn't go to preschool, who didn't have the same problem as me, and other kids who did go to preschool (because believe me, I was asking) who DID have the same problem as me (and looking back I remember at least one point where the teacher had to address the class about bullying people who were "different").

Moving from childhood into adolescence, it was made EXCEEDINGLY clear to me that I wasn't simply a Different Person, but moreso a Different Woman. It was made apparent that I was NOT an object of desire, and I did NOT deserve to think of myself as such in any way, shape, or form.

I didn't simply ignore makeup because it was expensive, and a little confusing, and somewhat of a sensory difficulty. I ignored it because I didn't think it was for me. I wasn't allowed to be one of those girls. I didn't only ignore fashion because clothes shopping was overwhelming and I couldn't spend that kind of energy in the morning putting together an outfit (not that I had a cohesive closet anyway). I ignored it because of the giggles I heard behind my back when I DID try to camouflage as A Normal Girl, because of the comments like, "Look at her wearing that belt like she thinks she's cute."

It affected me so much that I frankly didn't see myself as a "real woman" until I was in my (LATE) twenties. It's not that I didn't want to be a woman, it's that I didn't think I was allowed to feel like one. I was absolutely convinced that my husband would someday discover this "secret" about me -- that I wasn't a "real woman" -- and leave me. I literally thought he was lying to me about being attracted to me.

This did eventually change with work on my self-esteem, but one of the results is something that still persists to this day -- I feel simultaneously constrained by the societal views of women, while being almost entirely unable to relate. I went into that movie and left, today, realizing that I STILL feel like I'm Not Allowed to feel like I have some of these problems.

I've never been cat-called (though I have been screamed at by people on the street for not being desirable enough of a woman in public). But I HAVE been dismissed as an overdramatic woman by medical professionals, when my husband wouldn't get the same treatment. I've never been harassed for my number, but I HAVE had men harass and belittle me at the mechanic for saying "no" to them, who then promptly stopped the moment my husband walked into the shop and came up beside me. I've never been told I'm too pretty to be smart, but I HAVE had men refuse to talk to me and seek out my less-experienced male coworkers for answers instead.

So I drove away realizing that this dichotomy still exists for me. I couldn't relate to Barbie crying because she didn't feel pretty enough, because I've never felt like that pressure actually applied to me -- it was just always made apparent by my childhood peers that I wasn't, and didn't deserve to even worry about whether I was attractive enough. And I realized that these other pressures were the same way -- I didn't feel the pressure to be the perfect leader, because of course I couldn't be that. I didn't feel the pressure to fit in perfectly, because of course I just already couldn't.

I want to do extraordinary things, not because people expect that of me as a woman, but because people think I CAN'T as someone who is Different and Not Like Them. People are SHOCKED when I eventually adapt to a social situation (like a new job), and show that I can contribute at the same level as other people once I learn what I'm doing.

Kind of like how the Kens didn't even bother with Weird Barbie, she was just forgotten in her weird house, and she ended up being the one to help them all. And then at the end, when the Barbies realize what they've done to her, they apologize and she just sort of goes, "Eh, that's how it is."

I don't know. It's just a very weird place to be. And it can all probably be summed up by the fact that I didn't even register her experience as something I could entirely relate to, until I went to write this post about the experience that I entirely relate to.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

A Night In Nice

Chapter Two

Based on this ask and made into a separate post due to being two parts

Rated Explicit (for later on)

Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

Dinner is quiet, nothing that bothers you given Norton is similar to a cat who can enjoy sharing a space with you. That is not to say he does not enjoy how you talk about the day or ask him if he likes the food. Given how you like to season the food you make, some of it can be overpowering for him, especially spicy food. The shepherd’s pie is both soft and gentle in the seasoning, something you hope he enjoys (the man though honestly likes anything you make even if one dish had his mouth on fire).

The chores are divided between the two of you depending on who cooks (you are the one who mostly cooks because the last time he cooked he burnt the food). He gathers the dishes and you put away the table mats and wipe down the table. Then you start going over the kitchen pantry seeing what needs to be picked up.

Norton does the dishes, humming something to himself, and you cannot help but stare at the way his arms are defined by his work shirt, a long sleeve he rolled up as he cleaned. When you first met him, he had muscle but it was not compared to how he is now when he is fed properly. The size difference between the two of you has more than once left you blushing like a little girl.

“(Name),” He speaks up once he is done drying the dishes, body turning to see you look at him and then smile, a closed smile to make him aware he has your attention. “I want to ask you something… Important.” Awkward wording that causes your head to tilt to the side.

“Oh?”

“Listen, um,” He takes a breath in and out, “We have been here for three years now and… I uh…”

You look worried.

“Here!” Pulling out the engagement ring and showing you it, “It ain’t much but…Marry me?”

You stare at him then the ring then him again; the emotions on your face shifting too many times then sadness. “Norton… I don't,”

“She doesn't want you, idiot. Why would she want a broken fool like you!?”

“Think I don’t deserve you.” A whisper he hears then the panic on your face as you wave your wave in front of you realizing how bad that sounds, “I mean–”

Huh? What? The former prospector is confused, “What do you mean?” Wait, how don’t you deserve him? Would it not be the other way around? Given all the things you offered him, the biggest one is moving to a whole other country to live with him.

You sigh and gesture for him to sit down and you take a seat before he does, “First: yes. I will marry you. I love you from the moon and back.” Stating to him quickly to ease him, “However, there are some things,” Tapping your fingers on the table, “You should know about me.”

Norton nods as he sits down while placing the ring on the table. “Alright.”

“Okay,” Taking a deep breath in, “Okay.” Fidgeting with your fingers, “I wasn't always a nurse. I had no legal medical license until a year into the job… After the doctor left.” Easy confession, concerning though you are sure.

Norton knew the owner of the mines cut corners as the bastard saw all of the miners as basically slaves. Cut corners wherever the scum could and pay off whoever inspected the worksite. The doctor leaving after not getting a raise, well, no one batted an eye when you were put in charge.

“Before that… Uh. I used to work in…” Growing quiet as you stare at the pattern of wood on the table.

“Did you kill someone?” His arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the seat causing it to creek in protest, his legs wide open under the table.

“No, no! Nothing like that!” Assuring him, “Listen, I won’t blame you if this changes your view about me. I should have brought it up sooner,” He raises an eyebrow, “I worked in a brothel.” Saying quickly and in one breath. The silence to follow is one side uneasy. His eyes locked on your face. You squirm a bit fearing what he will say.

“That’s it?” Breaking the silence.

“Yes?” Rubbing the back of your neck unsure if he was asking for more detail or something, “ Was one of the pleasure ladies.” Adding more detail, “Not exactly the woman you could bring home, uh.” It was a dark time in your life, you fault no one who had to take up the occupation in order to survive. You had to in order to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head. The nursing came later when your client, the doctor at the mines, was teaching you medicine at the cost of keeping his cock wet. A “fair trade” allowing you to switch occupations, much to his dislike soon after his replacement.

“Why not?”

“Because you should have a ‘nice’ girl.” Rolling your eyes hating that reason. The doctor was an asshole for telling you that all too often when he was making you choke on his— “No mother wants their son to marry a whore.” Sneering in at yourself.

“That’s stupid,” The response surprised you, “None of that is going to change my mind.”

You are shocked, you should not be given how you gave him a second chance at life-- A better one. The second you got him out of that rumble when you nursed him back to health. Technically, you are harboring a murderer, yet you don’t see it like that.

Your eyes fall to the ring. This small town in France is far from everything that happened back in Golden Cave. The voice remains but even with the rambling it currently is saying, it does become greedy towards you. The one thing they can agree on.

“You got experience between the two of us, so what.” Shrugging while he takes your left hand and rubs your ring finger. “When we started living out here, you told me the past is the past. For us to start from scratch and live how we want.” You did. The moment he was healed, you offered to take him with you. Far from everything that ever hurt either of you. “We can’t change what we did to live, we can however change how we live in this moment.” Trying to find the words to convey how much you mean to him, “Us, together, in that church you go to on Sundays and standing at that altar.”

You blink twice then glance away then back at Norton, “Wow.” He is serious. “Ha, wow, ha.” Laughing as leaned against your chair letting out a sigh of relief but the giggling starts up.

“You sound like a hyena.” Teasing you as the giggling gets worse, “Taking it you are happy?”

“Yes, God, yes!” Grabbing his hands with both of yours, “More than happy really! I want to kiss you until I can’t no longer.”

“Oh,” Amusement, “Just kiss?”

“Norton.” Standing up, “There are many things I want to do for you,” Leaning on the table with a look in your eyes he only caught once when you were patching him up. Your hand touching his arm, “Only if you allow me.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Standing up and grabbing the ring before moving around the table to be close to you. “Everything. All of you and all of me.”

[jewreallythinkthat]

ugh im sorry. you are more reasonable than i expected. seeing the horrific crimes committed by israel and some of its citizenry has made me far to cynical. i do not think that israel in its current form should exist but that is because i think *most* countries in their current forms shouldnt exist. i do not want any jewish person harmed for the crimes of a state that shouldnt have the right to claim they are the sole representatives of a religion. hamas is not a good force but its the only thing allowed to exist for palestinians. i just hope that palestinians have a safe home, and so do jewish people

Hi Nonnie,

Sorry for taking 24 hours to answer this, I wanted mull it over a bit for a couple of reasons. While I appreciate you recognising that you've become cynical (something I can very much empathise with), I do slightly resent the implication you assumed I would be unreasonable. I have done my very best to try and remain steadfast in my ideals that both Israelis and Palestinians deserve better and deserve dignity and I do ask you to think about why you were shocked that I would be reasonable in response to an ask which was in and of itself, asked in a civilised manner and that didn't attack me as a person.

I would be interested to hear what your issue with countries in their current form is and how you would see an alternative as being? My view on the matter is that seeing as the countries exist, and there is no way of dissolving a country without leaving power vacuums and a catastrophic number of innocents dead, then we should be fighting to make every country as good and just and fair as possible.

While I understand some people genuinely believe countries shouldn't exist, I find it concerning when they focus exclusively on Israel as the first they want to eradicate as the only thing that separates it from other countries really is that it is a majority Jewish state.

While Israel is not representative of Jews, in the same way Iran is not representative of Muslims and the USA is not representative of Christians, it is (sadly) the only country where I have never felt like I needed to be aware of whether my Magen David is on show or not because in Israel, it is safe to be a Jew. Much as it's shit to say this, being Jewish does make me a target in the UK - it's not fair, but it's true.

Hamas made themselve the only option in Gaza. Originally this was not the case. Hamas were elected as leaders of Gaza and proceeded to brutally murder all those who opposed them and there hasn't been an election since. Alternatives to Hamas could exist, but this would absolutely require a level of outside protection (from how I can see it) to prevent Hamas using violence to take over again. In the West Bank, the PA also exists (although is also incredibly problematic - but that's a different post). I don't know how one would go about it but a way to allow an alternative to Hamas which can effectively keep order, and work with surrounding countries to create a safe and less tense middle east has to be forged.

[hazelnut-u-out]

Hi! Me again! So, why exactly do you like Rick? Im not insulting you at all! He's my absolute favorite character, but it's kinda hard to believe you love him when looking at some of your posts, not that I blame you though because I'm the same way! I love him because of his character development, he's funny, interesting and fun to watch and he's super complex ! Sorry for the kinda long ask! Love your posts!

To be honest, I have a hard time finding sympathy for Rick. A lot of abusive people tend to cite their own trauma as excuses rather than reasons and, while I wouldn’t argue that Rick himself explicitly does so, I do think he sometimes views his own experiences through that lens. That can make it a lot more difficult for me to find him sympathetic. I have a lot of empathy for Rick— as in, I can feel his pain, anger, frustration, etc. At the same time, I have a hard time understanding how that makes his actions in the present (specifically in his relationship with Morty) acceptable. I cannot separate Rick from his actions because, to reference Bojack Horseman, people are what they do, intentions be damned.

I mentioned this somewhere a while back (I think in the tags of a post I reblogged), but I think you can have genuine personal criticisms of a character and still love that character. In fact, I would go as far as to say that my issues with Rick are what make me love him, because a character’s flaws are part of what their character represents in context.

I love Rick because he’s given me something to root for. Morty deserves a good grandpa. So does Summer. Beth, who also isn’t immune to my criticism, deserves a good dad. From Season 1, you can see the good in him just begging to peek out from behind the facade, trauma, and bullshit. Furthermore, in context, he shows us that taking accountability might not always mean you’re entitled to forgiveness, but that a lack of forgiveness doesn��t mean trying and moving forward is pointless, as well.

None of us are perfect, and Rick isn’t either. Like you said, he’s complex, funny, dynamic, etc. People are not without nuance. None of us are, whether we like it or not. No one is entirely good or entirely bad. We’re all mixed bags of trail mix. We’ve all got our raisins. (Unless you like raisins. Then my joke doesn’t land.) The point of working on yourself isn’t to be perfect, or even to be forgiven. It’s just to work on yourself— to try; to fail; to keep trying.

I don’t think I’d like Rick as a person if I met him in real life, to be honest with you, but I love him as a piece of art. That’s what I think characters are! Art can be grotesque, appalling, fucked up, and offensive, especially when there’s a message behind that.

Characters can’t exist in a vacuum. I mean, would we even be interested in a show where Rick realized he was an asshole in the pilot and was The Perfect Family Man for 10 seasons without anything challenging that? Probably not.

Also, he’s just a silly guy, and I like ‘em silly.

[tua-five]

Season 2 Episode 8

Starting off strong..

I know for a fact I've said this before, but I really dislike the handler. I hate how she said that she and five have a "colorful history." Makes it worse that she winked after. No, thank you.

Okay, next in line, we have Reginald. And I noticed this before, but it deserves some actual recognition. Pogo drew a picture when he was just a little guy (and technically, he still is a little guy here). It was a picture of him and Grace and Reggie in a line holding hands, the classic kid drawing. And we know Reginald hates kids, but he loves Pogo and Grace and his wife, so he's not without compassion. Anyhoo. Reggie framed that picture and put it up on his shelf just outside his office. If he was truly cruel, he would have thrown it away. But he loves Pogo. Or maybe he just loves Grace, and Grace loves Pogo, so he did that. Either way, my point still stands.

Also, can we talk about Aidan's wonderful, quick, and flexible abilities? He wasn't actually supposed to do the scene where he lists off the 7 symptoms of paradox psychosis. He had to learn all of that in less than a day. I mean, memorizing all of that that fast is really impressive.

Okay, also. Luther stops Five from going straight to his older self. He says he should break the ice because he will scare himself. Because yeah. Seeing your dead "younger" brother smiling at you is better than your younger self...

I love how in true Diego fashion, he says, "I'm Deigo, I have a knife."

I love how the writers did a flashback to Five saying "[Viktor] is the bomb" and then Diego repeating it. It's a full circle moment. And then Diego says, "[Viktor] will always be the bomb." (I'm going to make a separate post about this whole thing because I have things to say about this, s3, and what we know of season 4).

The brain scene is so terrible. It's sad and gross. I mean, I get it. Eating the brain to remember. But still...

Also, let's talk about the sibling's responses. Ben says it's not her fault. She hit her head and can't remember anything. This shows how she views Ben, always sticking up for her and the nice one. Allison says she got overheated and wiped her mind clean, and I'm not exactly sure what that means or what she's trying to say by that, so if anyone has insight or anything. Luther says she's lazy and didn't study. I think that this does show how Luther would've acted as a kid. Trying to be number 1 and whatnot. It just makes sense for him. Now, Klaus says maybe she's been faking it all along. And I don't know what to make of it. I can't imagine Klaus being like that. I mean... maybe. Like, he says it half-heartedly or just because he doesn't have enough braincells, and when [Viktor] was younger, [he'd] interpret things like that as he means it. Reginald says that they're all wrong. That [he] just refuses to remember. And I do think this is in part true. And it also just makes sense that Reginald says that.

Frick guys. I'm not ready for tomorrow's episode. Not with Ben...

Today's gifs!

[demigod-jack-hearth]

This is to address a situation where I had carelessly modified my Circe blog @the-goddess-circe to fit my alternate universe. This caused many people to get hurt and I am addressing it.

When I created the Circe Blog on August 8, it was with the intention for Jack to get possessed by Circe, a character I was interested in because as a character Circe is really complex and fascinating, I am not excusing her actions OR morals. She had not much canon lore to work with and I was excited at the opportunity to be able to experiment and work with Circe.

During one of Jack’s possession scenes ( https://www.tumblr.com/demigod-jack-hearth/758229800393523200/open-starter )

I thought it was a good idea to make a complete alternate universe for Circe, which is how I modified her intro to the alternate universe that Odysseus has raped Circe and sexually assaulted her. I did not think of the consequences of my actions and how I was not handling this situation OR topic with the care or respect it deserved.

This is the role play thread that started this alternate universe- https://www.tumblr.com/camp-sky-heaven-on-earth/758618332716056576/i-know-it-hasnt-been-long-since-i-asked-you-to?source=share

I did not consider how this was dehumanising and triggering the trauma other others and this was not my intention in the slightest.

For this overlook and negligence on my part,

I’m am wholeheartedly sorry to everyone, those affected by my actions and my audience who have seen it.

I realise now that I have people that watch me, people that reads the things I put out and they are very real. Their feelings are real. Their experiences are real and their stories and trauma are real. This is a grave mistake on my part, and I now understand that what I say and do have an effect on others.

I did not take the correct amount of time to think this through and do my proper research on the canon lore.

This section is to address my first anon message back on August 13 about my Circe au:

Link to the post-https://www.tumblr.com/demigod-jack-hearth/758706460356149249/its-kind-of-disheartening-to-see-you-re-writing?source=share and https://www.tumblr.com/demigod-jack-hearth/758707116707119104/if-you-realise-it-was-a-mistake-it-might-be-a?source=share

When I first received this anon message, I dismissed it as something I didn’t need to worry too much about and because of my WRONG mindset that I do not share as of now, I made a very throw away and poorly worded response.

I spoke to some people I am now not in contact with and they had encouraged me to not think too much about it and reinforced my belief that I had free reign to make alternate universes without discretion. I was also unhappy with a separate issue that caused me to have a lot of pent up anger and frustration, this does not excuse the way I replied the anon.

These conversations with people who enabled my wrong view on the situation sparked me to make my response hurtful, bitter and unnecessary.

I regret making that comment and I am sorry to the anonymous message who got hurt by my remarks.

I understand that Odysseus and Circe are very important characters whose stories should not be modified so carelessly.

Now onto the important part: What I will do to amend this situation.

I am not asking for anyone to forget or forgive this situation, but I hope to at least make some amends.

First off I will be deleting Circe’s Blog and will not be reworking it until I can get an acceptable version in the works.

Second of all this is a repetition but I apologise to everyone affected and reached by this situation. I am willing to make personal apologies at your request.

Finally, this will not happen again. I have grown and understood the situation to the best of my ability and will do everything in my power (running it past people before I post things and checking the facts) to make sure this does NOT happen again.

I'm going to tag everyone because I don't know who has been affected by my actions

@ja50nt0ddwa5h3r3 @unhinged-waterlilly @zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @beauty-queen-official @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @emdabitchass @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @love-lightning-forethought @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @kaiaalwayswins @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-daughter-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @pink-koi-lovejoy @smileyalater @the-bosses-of-you @the-goddess-aphrod1te @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia @theycallmejeezycreezy @queenofthedeep @giant-prophetic-snake @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @itsyourboyezra @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @creature-under-ur-bed @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia

Thanks to my friend who helped me so much with editing this and helping me make it sense