#was with me for literally most of my life. the last 20 year 🥺🥺🥺

[pallegina]

yes ivebeen day drinking yes I'm mimosa drunk I miss my cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 20 pt. 1- I Do

Summary: It's finally here, the day you've been waiting for since the day Javi came into your life and changed it for the better- It's your wedding day, and things couldn't be more perfect. Except for the fact that you and Javi can barley contain your excitement as you wait to see each other.

Word Count: 11.4K (If this wasn't 2 parts, this would be 30k long and wouldn't be finished until May)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink (?), kind of semi-public sex (they're gettin' busy in the bathroom), Kind of getting caught (Steve needs to mind his own business), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, Javi being an anxious, blubbering, hot mess, Javi being so in love and is so excited to spend the rest of his life with you that it physically hurts me (this chapter is lots of fluff and feelings and not as much smut, sorry!! Don't worry, there's PLENTY more to come next chapter 🤪)

A/N: Hi friends!!! Well, she's finally here, the moment we've all been waiting for- our two favorite idiots are finally getting married 😭💕 While I would have loved to make this one chapter, it literally would have been SO long, and Lord knows when I actually would have finished with it. So this chapter is the morning leading up to the ceremony, and part 2 will be the ceremony and reception!! I'm not even gonna lie, I bawled several times writing this chapter. These two mean so much to me, and I'm so honored that you care enough about them to be invested in my silly little story, too 🥺 HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!

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For the better part of his life, Javier Peña was convinced there was nothing more soul-crushingly painful and miserable than a wedding. On a day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and joy, Javi had spent more years than he’d like to admit doing anything to avoid the occasion all together. Because for him, weddings had meant none of those things. Weddings had only served as yet another reminder of the failure he had chalked himself up to be. 

Leaving Lorraine at the altar and running away to Colombia. 

Watching the successes of everyone else’s blissful domestic lives play out in front of him, while he’d never felt so alone. 

Convincing himself that he would never be worthy of love because of the terrible person that he’d become. 

Weddings had been something that Javier Peña hated more than most things in life. 

But that was until he met you. 

Because today, on the morning of his own wedding, Javi was quite literally bursting at the seams with excitement, goofy grin stretched from ear to ear knowing that in a few short hours, he got to marry the most amazing, beautiful, perfect woman he had ever met. And even though the reality had set in that today was finally the day the two of you started your forever together, he was positive that he’d never get over the reality that you would always be his. 

As he pulled his truck up the driveway to your new home where he should have been sleeping for the better half of last night, there was a part of him that couldn’t have been more thankful he had been able to sneak in just a few more hours with you before sunrise, knowing the anxious anticipation of waiting to see you all day, let alone see you in your wedding dress at the other end of the aisle, was enough to already have his heart beating a million miles a minute at the ripe hours of the morning. 

While he should have known better his Dad would already be well awake by the time he snuck back home, Chucho’s welcoming grin from the front porch was already laced with enough forgiveness for Javi to hope he’d be spared at least some shit from his father. 

“”Morning, mijo.” Chucho chuckled, watching Javi’s sheepish stride up the driveway towards the house, slowly sipping on his cup of coffee with a boyish grin on his face, knowing damn well where his son had been without having to say a word. 

“I already know what you’re gonna say, Pops.” Javi sighed, shaking his head in embarrassment as he approached his dad, letting out a soft grunt as he took a seat next to his father on the top step of the front porch. 

“I haven’t said anything, Javier. Do you have something you want to say?” Chucho couldn’t help but snicker, raising his eyebrows at his son, as he watched his cheeks turn a petrified pink. 

“Nope, I am- oh, fuck me- nope I am, uh, all good.” Javi stammered, burying his hands in his face before running them through the sleepy curls of his hair and over the nape of his neck, his eyes still peeled to the ground, avoiding Chucho’s smug grin. 

“Then all I have to say is,” Cucho paused, taking another swig of coffee, “I hope you never stop loving her the way that you do now.” Javi looked up at his dad in confusion, wondering how his sneaking out wasn’t shaping up to be some sort of teenage scolding from his father. “I already know that you know you are a very, very lucky man Javier, but I also hope that you know you are going to make a wonderful husband. Eres un buen hombre. Estoy muy feliz por ti, mijo. Tu madre también lo estaría. Muy feliz.” (You are a good man. I am so happy for you, son. Your mom would be, too. So happy.) 

Letting his eyes shift off his feet where they had been stuck, Javi looked back up at his father, tears welling in his eyes at Chucho’s reassuring smile, reaching out to wrap his arm around his son, pulling him close enough to let Javi’s head fall on his shoulder, the two sitting for a quiet moment in silence. 

Javi couldn’t help but feel a twinge in his heart, thinking about the fact his mom wouldn’t be with him for the biggest day of his life. His mother had left this world when Javi was at his lowest- alone and halfway across the globe, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in. It had always haunted him that his mom had died worried that her son had become a broken man, and would never be proud of the person he’d turned out to be. When he returned home, he felt even worse thinking that his one living parent probably felt that way, too. 

But what brought him solace in a time that he needed it most, was you. You had given him a reason to make his parents proud, to make himself proud. While his mom would never be able to tell him the words he so desperately longed to hear, he knew in his heart that the life he’d built because of you was all the comfort he needed to prove to himself Lucia was smiling down on him when he needed it most. And as he looked up at the sky, the pink and orange rays of the beautiful sunrise beginning to spill over the horizon, he had never been more sure that even though his mom couldn’t physically be by his side, that Lucia Peña would still be with him every step of the way.  

“Fuck, I miss her, Pops. I wish she was here.” 

“She is, Javier. She always will be.” 

After soaking in a few more quiet moments together staring out into the shimmering sunrise, Chucho let out a content sigh, giving Javi a gentle pat on the back and rustling the dark curls of his son’s thick hair. 

“But, if there is one thing I know about your Mother, it’s that  I can practically hear her screeching at us wasting our time being sad about her on the happiest day of your life. Chucho, por qué piedres el tiempo estar triste? Basta de quejarte! Nuestro hijo se está casando, pendejo!” (Why are you wasting your time being sad! Stop moping! Our son is getting married, stupid.) Chucho mocked, shaking his head at the sky at the scolding he knew he’d be getting from his wife, making him and Javi burst into laughter. “And, if there’s another thing I know about your mother,” Chucho paused again, letting out a loud grunt as he pushed himself up to stand, resting his arm on Javi’s shoulder, “it’s that her and I would both agree there better be a nieto (grandchild) in our lives 9 months from now. Dios mío (oh my God), Javier, even on the night before your wedding you two can’t keep your hands to yourselves! I am truly surprised I don’t have 14 grandchildren already.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Pops….” Javi whispered to himself over his dad’s schoolgirl snickers, watching his son’s face fall flush once again, standing up to follow behind his dad back inside as Chuhco began to waddle his way across the porch. 

Although Javi could have tried to plead his case to his dad to prove his innocence, truth be told, today, he really didn’t care. Today, the only thing he cared about was that in just a few short hours, he got to meet you, his wife, at the end of the aisle and spend his forever with the woman he loved more than life itself. For the first time in his life, Javier Peña couldn’t have been more excited for a wedding. 

You weren’t sure how many more times you had read the scratchy print scribbled across the bright yellow post-it Javi had left behind on his pillow before he had snuck out for the morning, but you did know that your heart beat faster and faster in anxious anticipation with every glance over his words, counting down the second until you got to see him again. 

You had kept yourself in your room, convinced that your excited impatience would have you awake well before everyone else still sleeping at the ranch, but as you heard clanging and bickering starting to echo from the kitchen, you should have known better that your mom and Connie would be up to something to kick start your wedding day. 

With a yawn and stretch of your arms above your head, you flopped yourself out of bed, exchanging Javi’s worn t-shirt and sleep shorts for the white pajama set your mom had insisted she buy for you to get ready in as a compromise for your adamant despise at the white silky robe that had “bride” stitched across it in big pink letters that she had begged to buy you. 

Shuffling down the hallway, the commotion in the kitchen only became increasingly louder, now realizing almost everyone must be awake for whatever antics were taking place for the early hours of the morning. As you turned the corner, you were greeted by an adorable “Happy Wedding Day!” banner that had been made by the girls hanging on the wall, decorated with adorable crayon drawings of flowers, you and Javi, and all of the horses of the Peña ranch dressed in wedding apparel. As your eyes scanned across the rest of the room, the kitchen table was already full of breakfast, balloons dangled from the ceiling, and your mom and Connie were actively working on filling up what was most likely one too many glasses of mimosas.  

“Happy wedding day, Auntie Bear!” A little voice cooed behind you, looking down to see a still very sleepy Olivia, hair still crazed and bed ridden as she wrapped herself around your hip, squeezing you in a tight hug. 

“Ahhhhh, there’s the bride!!” Your mom shrieked, her pitch enough to make everyone in the room wince as she barreled towards you, joining Olivia to engulf you in her grasp. After everyone had recovered from your mom’s shrill greeting, everyone else had soon joined in on squeezing you in a giant group hug, the gesture in itself making you smile, but the physical restraint in the middle of a human sandwich being a little too much for you this early in the morning. 

“Thanks guys. I uh, I would like to make it out alive for my wedding so maybe if we don’t squish me to death, that would be great.” You grunted, trying to wriggle out of the arms squishing your body, hoping that someone would get the hint. 

“Alright, I think she’s probably had enough.” Connie laughed, finally noticing the look on your face, prompting everyone to give you at least a little breathing room. 

“I’m just so excited for you! I can’t believe you’re getting married, sweetie!” Your mom, clearly not picking up on the hint, was now back to squeezing you in a bear hug again tight enough to make your eyes pop out of your head. “Okay, sorry, sorry, I’m done now, just had to get one last one out of my system… for now. Here, have a seat, honey,” Your mom gestured towards the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “we have about an hour before we have to start doing hair and makeup but we have plenty of breakfast for you to choose from before we get the day started. How’d you sleep?” 

“Oh, um- fine, I um, I slept fine.” You lied, now sheepishly staring down at the overflowing plate of breakfast food your mom had set in front of you, taking a hefty bite of pancake before looking back up, your eyes meeting Connie’s, a suspicious smirk gleaming on her face as she stared at you, crossing your arms over your chest as you swallowed your food with a more audible than intended gulp. 

“Oh good!” Your mom replied, obvious to yours and Connie’s silent interaction as she meandered around the kitchen. “Well, eat up, I’m off to go check on some things outside, but by the time I get back in here, that plate better be cleared! Girls, come help Grandma, let your Aunt finish her breakfast!” 

“Okay!” Your nieces giggled, following behind your mom into the backyard, leaving you and Connie alone in the kitchen, hearing her silently laugh to herself as she sat down next to you at the table. 

“Good sleep, huh? Good sleep that definitely had nothing to do with Javi’s truck that left here at 6:00 AM this morning?” Connie snickered, giving you a little wink as your cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, letting out a defeated sigh. 

“I promise it’s not what you think. I actually couldn’t sleep and I called Javi and he ended up coming over so I wouldn’t be up the whole night. I told him he didn’t have to, but I was up and stressed and having him here was the only thing that was going to help. It was just sleep, I promise.” 

“It’s okay, I believe you. I couldn’t sleep the night before my wedding either. I’m pretty sure if I did what you had done, Steve would have slept right through the phone call, or still would have been too drunk to drive over.” The two of you quietly giggled to yourselves as Connie reached out for your hand, holding it in hers, “I hope you know that he loves you so much. It always broke my heart to see Javi go through what he did, and how hard on himself he was because of it. You really are the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I’m so happy for the two of you, I couldn’t be more excited for today, honey.” 

Reaching across the table, Connie wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you in another hug, trying to hold back your sniffles as you felt happy tears beginning to well in your eyes. 

“Thank you, Connie.” 

“Of course. Now, you better pick what you want from that breakfast and throw away the rest before your mom gets back, I don’t think either one of us wants to be responsible for telling her that her food wasn’t sufficient enough for you.” 

You snorted, rolling your eyes at the thought of the dismay your mom would be in thinking that you didn’t get enough to eat before your big day as you put a reasonable amount of breakfast on a new plate to eat, discarding the other heaping pile that your mom had left you. 

“You are a smart woman, Connie Murphy.” 

“So I’ve been told.” 

The rest of the morning seemed to move by at an exponential pace- At the Pena ranch, hair and makeup was well underway for everyone, and running on time with incredible efficiency from the detailed schedule that your mom and Connie had put together. Even though your body was riddled with endless amounts of anxious anticipation and excitement as the clock ticked closer and closer to when Javi and the rest of the boys would finally get here, you were pleasantly surprised at how fun the morning had ended up being with all the girls, especially since your nieces and the Murphy girls had insisted on putting on a hilarious sing along spectacular for the majority of the time for entertainment while you got ready. 

Over at your new house, however, with the only getting ready that Javi needed to do being taking a shower and putting on his suit, the boys were convinced that he was going to put a hole in the floor from his anxious pacing as he counted down the minutes to leave. 

“Jav, have a beer, man, you just put this floor in, I think your wife’s gonna be pissed when she finds out she has to replace it before y’all even move in because you can’t sit still.” Steve chuckled, taking a sip out of his can before nudging your brothers sitting next to him on the couch as they watched their friend and future brother in law tread back and forth across the living room for what felt like the 117th time since they’d sat down. 

���I think I have to agree with Steve on this one, Javier, you are making me anxious and I’m not even the one getting married.” Chucho chimed in from the armchair seated next to the couch. 

“I’ll second what Steve said, man. Have a beer, Javi. You haven’t shut up all day about how fuckin’ excited you are, so what’s got you so worked up? You’ve seen her in a dress before dude, this one’s just white.” Your brother David snorted, his joke now soliciting some eye rolls from the rest of the boys, considering David was about single as they came, and was the only one of the group who wasn’t even remotely close to being married. 

“It’s a fucking wedding dress, you dingus, there’s obviously a difference.” Your dad groaned, walking up to your brother to give him a prompt smack in the back of the head, making your other brother Charlie snicker to himself, until he also decided to greet him with an equally harsh slap for good measure. 

“What the fuck was that for? I didn’t say anything!” Charlie winced, holding his hands up in defense. 

“Tell your brother to stop being an ass! She’s your sister too, for Christ’s Sake, you’re not gonna stand up for her either?! Jesus you two are the biggest idiots I’ve ever met. Even Patrick would have had enough common sense to keep that one in his head. Well, maybe not, but that’s besides the point.” That one at least cracked a little smile from your brothers, wishing that Patrick would have been here to see their sister’s big day, and to distribute the slapping pain more equally between the pair. 

“I just… Fuck, I just wanna see her. I can’t wait to see her. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. The suspense is fucking killing me.” Javi signed, resting one hand on his hip before running his hand through his hair, anxiously drumming his fingers on his side, foot tapping on the well worn path he had been treading on the hardwood floor of the living room. 

Chucho chuckled, resting his hands on his knees and pushing himself up to stand with a low grunt, making his way over to his son, resting his hand on his shoulder as he looked up at him. “Eres como tu madre.. Impaciente. (You are just like your mother… Impatient). Mijo, I remember when I married your mother, she was so excited that she actually asked if we could start the wedding an hour early, just so we could see each other sooner. I can almost hear her laughing at the fact that her son is no better than her. How I wish she were here to see this. Soon, Javier. I promise.” 

“Do you think she’s gonna like the gift? You made sure she has it for today, right? And everything from her brothers too?” Javi asked, nervously biting at the tip of his thumb as he glanced down at his father before looking over at David and Charlie sitting on the couch, smiling back at him. 

“Yes, Javier. I triple checked last night. I’m sure that she will love it. I know she will love it. All of it. Now, why don’t you go put on your suit and we can leave a little ahead of schedule, I will just make sure to drive extra slow. Even slower than normal. I think if we wait any longer you may actually combust.” He teased, pulling Javi into a tight hug before releasing him, giving him a gentle pat on the back. 

“Alright boys, you heard the man, get your sorry asses moving and let’s get these monkey suits on, it’s time to get this boy married!” David cheered, holding up his beer to toast Javi before promptly chugging the rest of it down his throat and slamming it down on the table, soliciting another round of eye rolls and muffled laughter from the crowd. 

Silently nodding and smiling to himself, letting out one last reassuring breath before looking at the boys standing in front of him. 

“Fuck. I’m gonna get married.” 

Back at the ranch, the last of getting ready was beginning to wrap up, all the girls' hair and makeup finally finished, and the youngest of the crew giddily dancing in their flower girl dresses, twirling and swirling in excitement at their pristine outfits as they gathered around you, patiently awaiting for you to get into your own wedding dress.  

For as long as you’d wanted to get married, you’d always known that you wanted your wedding dress to be simple- No excessive frills, poof, glitter, or anything that made you feel like you were playing dress up for the world’s goofiest fashion show, simply because it was your wedding, and your dress needed to reflect the extravagance of the event. Your style choice came as a surprise to no one, given the fact you had practically lived in your brother’s hand-me-down’s until the 8th grade, and even when your mom had flown down a few months ago to go dress shopping with you and Connie, she had even laid down the hammer with one of the wedding dress consultants that you wouldn’t even step anywhere near a dress that was an ounce too over the top. 

That’s why you were absolutely shocked that despite your firm parameters around what you wanted to wear for your big day, that you fell in love with the very first dress you tried on, and never looked back. 

It was everything you wanted and never you needed in a dress- a simple a-line skirt with thin straps that ran across your shoulders and scooped down your back, along with a delicate, lacy floral pattern stitched across your top that flowed down the wispy length of your gown. There were few times that you had ever admitted it to yourself, but you had truly never felt more beautiful than when you were wearing that dress, and when you had tried it on for the first time, only to turn around to see the tears welling in your mom and Connie’s eyes as you revealed it to them, it was every confirmation that you needed that this dress was made for you. 

And while you had been counting down the days in excitement, waiting to put your dress on for your big day, Javi had been counting down along with you, to the point where Connie had made the executive decision to keep the dress at her house to prevent any preemptive peeking, considering that Javi had spent every day since you had bought your dress telling you how he couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you were going to look in it, without even knowing a single clue about what you had boughten, besides your lovingly sarcastic and vague “It’s a dress, and it’s white, Jav.” 

But after all the time you had spent imagining what it would be like to finally put your dress on for your actual wedding day, you almost couldn’t believe that you were finally here, carefully taking the straps off the hanger where it had been resting, holding the beautiful, white fabric out in front of you with a goofy grin spread across your face, eyeing down the outfit that meant you got to spend forever with your best friend. 

“You ready to put it on?” Connie asked softly, her hand resting on your shoulder as she stepped behind you, excitedly gazing at your dress right alongside you. 

“Yeah.” You smiled, gently nodding your head as you looked back at Connie, taking one last deep breath before passing off the dress to her before shimmying out of your clothes, letting them fall to a pile on the floor before turning to Connie, stepping into the opening of the dress and carefully pulling each strap over your shoulders while she pulled the zipper along your back, letting out a little sigh of relief as it clasped at the top. With one more long inhale, you slowly turned around to face everyone, eagerly awaiting your reveal, picking up your gown with a little floof as it gently draped around you, meeting the tears and smiles painted across everyone’s faces while they gazed at you. 

“Auntie Bear, you look like a princess! Uncle Javi is gonna think that you look like the most beautifulest person he’s ever seen.” Olivia squealed, jumping up and down in excitement before running over to you, wrapping her little arms around your waist in a tight hug. 

“Oh sweetheart…. You look absolutely stunning.” Your mom sniffled through her tears, holding her hands crossed over her chest, soaking in your full wedding ensemble. 

“You look gorgeous. Like, seriously. I hope you know that Javi’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you in this.” Connie giggled, giving you a wink and a playful nudge, looking you up and down in astonishment. 

Stepping over to see yourself in the mirror, your heart skipped a beat to see yourself, your stomach churning with anxious, excited butterflies knowing that you were only getting closer and closer to finally seeing Javi and his reaction, trying your best to not your smirk grow too wide between your warm cheeks, thinking about his reaction. 

“You really think he’s gonna like it?” You asked, your eyes still fixed at your reflection in the mirror, gently swaying your lacy, floral skirt back and forth, running your hand against the delicate fabric. 

“Honey, I’ve watched that man ogle over you in a hockey jersey. I told the boys they’re in charge of making sure he doesn’t faint when you walk down the aisle.” Your mom teased, Connie nodding her head in agreement. 

“I’m gonna second your mom on this one, girl. Steve has a running bet with the guys on how long it takes Javi to cry after he sees you. I think the over/under is 2 seconds, but after seeing you right now, I’m convinced he’s all waterworks from the moment he lays eyes on you.” 

Connie’s comment made you laugh to yourself, shaking your head at the idea of Javi instantly bursting into tears from just the sight of you, but when you thought about seeing Javi in his tux (that you had already seen before, multiple times) and what a mess you were going to be, maybe the boy’s betting line didn’t seem so unfair after all. 

“Speaking of tears…” Connie smirked at your mom, nodding at her to signify some little secret they seemed to be in on, “There’s one last thing you need to see before… Well, we’ll let you open it up and find out.” 

With that, your mom reached over to one of the tables where a white box with a neatly wrapped bow had been hidden, your mom passing it to Connie before then passing it over to you, making you tilt your head in confusion as you took the box in your hands, looking back and forth between your mom, Connie and the box waiting for some sort of explanation. 

“What is this?” you questioned, still puzzled as you noticed the gift tag hidden under the bow, gently peeling it open, their suspicious smirks beginning to spread as you read the all too familiar scratchy handwriting inside. 

To: Osita

Love: Javi

Now even more confused, you carefully began unwrapping the bow from around the packaging, letting the ribbon fall to the floor, followed by the lid of the box, revealing another longer note from Javi, resting on top of a bed of neatly folded tissue paper. You sat down in one of the chairs close by, letting the box rest on your lap as you held the note in your hands, already beginning to tremble as you felt the tears start to well in your eyes as you began to read. 

Osita, 

I knew from the moment I met you, that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t believe that day is finally here. I hope that this day is everything that you could ever dream it to be. 

I hope you know that if I could I would give you everything. The moon, the sun, the stars- if you wanted it, I would give it to you. 

But I know that no matter how hard I try, there is one thing I know can’t give to you, and that’s the presence of the people who aren’t with us anymore. 

And while I can’t bring back your brother or my mom to be here today, I hope that what’s in this box will remind you that they’ll always be here for you, no matter what. 

I know my mom would have wanted you to have this. There’s not a day that goes by that I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you so much. I hope she knows that you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me. 

Your family was able to find something of your brother’s for you to have on here too- I wish I could have met him. I hope he knows how much I love you, and the beautiful and resilient woman you’ve become. I hope he knows how proud I am of you. 

I can’t wait to see you, amor. I can’t even imagine how beautiful you look right now. I’m the luckiest man in the world. 

I love you more than words, and I promise I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you know it. 

Happy Wedding Day, Osita. Soy tuyo para siempre (I’m yours forever). 

-J 

You could feel your heart practically exploding after reading what Javi had wrote for you, wiping away the wetness from your cheeks, you took a deep breath as you carefully set down his note next to you before ever so slowly peeling back the layers of tissue paper folded on top of one another, hiding the gift hidden beneath them. As the last layer of the delicate paper was shed, you let out a gasp, you hand covering your mouth in shock as you put together the pieces of Javi’s note and the present now sitting in your lap, looking up at everyone else in the room, nodding back at you with sympathetic smiles and tears in their eyes at your realization. 

Not only had Javi had given you his mother’s wedding veil to wear, but stitched in the bottom corner was a patch of Patrick’s old hockey jerseys, a small number 2 from his arm sleeve, the number he had worn for every jersey he had ever played in. 

“Oh my… Oh my god? I can’t, I- how did you- oh my god.” You whispered to yourself, your voice trembling in disbelief, tears now streaming down your face as you held the veil in your hands, your thumb gently tracing over the worn patch of Patrick’s jersey, truly too stunned to speak at what Javi had done for you, to make sure a piece of two people who were no longer with you could still be a part of the biggest day of your life.

“Can I put it on?” Your mom asked, smiling at you with tears in her eyes, walking towards you as you nodded, handing her over the veil as she gently nestled it into your hair, straightening it out behind you, even more tears streaming down her face while she watched your reaction in the mirror. 

Not only was Lucia’s veil absolutely beautiful, if you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought Javi had asked someone to see what your dress looked like to pick out a veil that matched it perfectly. Like it truly was meant to be.

Still too shocked to form any sort of coherent thought, you stared at yourself in the mirror, silently smiling and crying at your reflection until a soft knock came from outside the bedroom door, making everyone in the room whip their heads around to see all of the boys who had just arrived peeking through the door frame, waiting in anticipation. 

“Can we come in? We’re dyin’ to see you, Cubby. Well, the one who’s dyin to see you the most we banished to the outside so he wasn’t even tempted to come in, but the rest of us fools still wanna see you too.” Your dad’s voice chuckled from behind the door, making you break from your crying just enough to let a soft laugh escape from your chest, nodding your head as you turned around to greet the gang gathered at the door. 

Growing up the youngest of 3 brothers, sentimental wasn’t a term thrown around in your household very often. Of course you loved your family, and they loved you, but you and your brothers had often joked that it’d probably be easier to projectile vomit than to actually say the words “I love you” eachother. So that’s why when your dad and brothers walked through the door with awestruck looks on their faces, you couldn’t help but start crying even more. 

Well, until they actually got a chance to speak. 

“Don’t cry you dingus, you’re gonna mess up all your makeup. And god knows how long it took to try and make you look like you didn’t just crawl out of a garbage can.” David quietly snickered, pulling you in for a much gentler than usual headlock before wrapping his arms around you for a legitimate hug. 

“Fuck off, David. How many people had to help you put that suit on, huh? You use every last brain cell trying to do up those buttons?” You teased back, trying to wipe the tears that had been rolling down your cheeks before giving him a loving slap to the stomach, making the two of you laugh even more. 

“You know his dumbass needed all the help he could get.” Charlie joked, pulling you in for another hug before stepping back to look you up and down, “Not too shabby. You clean up good, Cubby.” 

“Thanks Charlie.” 

The last one to step towards you was your dad, who you could tell was trying with everything in him not to absolutely burst into tears, putting one hand on your shoulder as he smiled at you. “I’ll say it once and I won’t say it again because you know as well as I do I’m not good with the sappy shit. You look beautiful, Cubby. I’m so proud of you. I know Patrick would have been too. Although that motherfucker is probably pissed at us that we cut the number off of his favorite jersey, but I think he’ll forgive us.” Wrapping you in a tight squeeze, your dad engulfed you in a bear hug, quickly followed by your brothers and your mom, trapping you in the center of their bodies, knowing you all were wishing there was one more person there in your group to fill in your hug. 

“I love you guys. Thank you.” You whispered, just loud enough to make sure they could hear, but quiet enough that even though your brothers had heard it, just this once, they wouldn’t give you shit for it. And just this once, everyone seemed to silently agree that they really, truly, did love you too. 

After a few more seconds of your group hug, there was another soft knock on the door, followed by another familiar voice, Chucho and Steve now peeking through the doorway to say hello. 

“Is it okay if we come in, Mija?” Chuco asked, already halfway through the door in excitement. 

“Yes, of course.” You sniffed, breaking free from the middle of your group hug to greet Chucho, less than shocked that his hug was almost tighter than the 4 other members of your family combined. 

“Mija… Mija, you look so beautiful. Oh, goodness. I had always saved this veil one day, just in case. And even though it sat in the attic for years, I pulled it out the week that Javier first met you. I don’t think that there was ever a doubt in anyone’s mind that you weren’t the one for him. My sweet Lucia would have been so happy to know that you have given Javier everything he never thought that he deserved. Oh, how I wish with everything she could have been here today to see how happy you make him. But I hope that you know, she would have been so excited that you get to be a part of our family.” He grinned through his tears, stepping back to look at you with a soft smile on his face, gently reaching up to wipe away the wetness on your cheek before pulling you back in for another hug. “I hope you know that Javier is going to be a wreck when he sees you. Poor boy has been in shambles all day waiting to see you.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man this anxious. And that’s sayin’ somethin’.” Steve chimed in, laughing to himself. “You look great, sweetheart. Chucho’s right, Javi’s ‘bout to be a goddamn mess.” 

As if your heart couldn’t feel any fuller from all of the love and warmth overflowing into the room, you had almost forgotten about the one person that had brought you all together in the first place- Javi. 

You could feel the pace of your heart begin to race, your stomach swirling in anticipation as the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in. 

Your future husband was here, and there was nothing more in the world that you wanted than to see him. Not soon, not at the end of the aisle, not waiting for you at the altar, right this very second. 

“He’s here, right? Javi?” You asked, biting down on your lip to contain the stupid grin growing between your cheeks, swaying back and forth on your heels in childlike impatience. Before you could barely ask your question, all eyes in the room were on your, giving you a collective look that seemed to scream “Seriously? You can’t wait either?” without having to say a word. 

As you could hear the beginning rumblings of protest, David stepped in as the most unexpected voice of reason, holding his hands up to the crowd in your defense, trying to silence everyone’s potential disagreement for what you were about to suggest. 

“Listen… Y’all know as well as I do that we could hold back these two with iron restraints, and they’d still probably find a way to see each other before the ceremony. And to be quite honest, I am pretty convinced if we don’t let them, one of them is gonna fucking combust, and I am not willing to be held personally responsible for any damages done before you two idiots can even get married.” 

Giving you a silent nod of approval, David stepped back to pat your back with the loving force that only a brother could, as everyone else in the room seemed to very quickly agree with his sentiment, joining with head bobs of quiet agreement. 

“I’ll go let the big man know you’re comin’. Gotta find some way to redeem myself before I bust his balls in my speech later.” Steve snickered, giving you a quick wink before quickly disappearing out the door to find the man behind it, waiting half as patiently as you. 

To say that Javi was disappointed when the boys booted him to the outdoors while everyone else got to go in and see you was the understatement of the year. Even though he couldn’t have been sitting on the front porch of his childhood home for more than 10 minutes, it felt like he had been waiting for hours, counting down each second until the moment he finally got to lay his eyes on you. After about 2 minutes of sitting in his dad’s rocking chair, nervously swaying as his hands shifted between his fingers drumming on his legs and balling up in anxious fists, he pushed himself up to stand, walking off the steps of the porch to pace in the front yard under the warmth of the late June sun. 

He had been so preoccupied as he meandered the front of the home, picturing just how breathtaking you would look as you walked down the aisle to greet him- how gorgeous you would be in your dress, your hair, your stunning smile, everything about you that made him look at you and know that he was the luckiest man in the world. That you were his. That you were everything that made him feel like home. It wasn’t until after a few careless steps too far around the corner of the house, that Javi was catching himself from tumbling to the ground as he tripped over a larger than suspected rock underneath him, quietly cursing under his breath while he tried to steady himself, peering down at the ground to see what had almost caused his fall. And when he finally read the words etched into the round stone beneath him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact the thing resting below him was none other than the heading that read “Lucia’s Garden”. 

“Jesus Christ, Ma, you’re not even here and you’re gonna take me out before the wedding even happens.” Javi chuckled to himself, gently tapping his foot against the rock, staring at the worn and weathered letters of her name. “You know, the very first time Pops met her, he let her work on the garden. I couldn’t believe it, because he barely lets me within 10 feet of here without worrying I’m gonna ruin something. But uh, I think that he knew. I think before he even met her, he already knew that she was the one.” 

Letting out a soft sigh, Javi crouched down, squatting next to the stone, gently brushing his thumb across the grittiness, carefully tracing each letter back and forth, praying with every ounce of him that one way or another, she could hear what he had to say. 

“I really wish you could be here, Mom. I really miss you. I really wish she could have gotten to meet you. I know that you’d love her.” Javi paused, his eyes beginning to well with tears, letting out a long, shaky exhale to try and compose himself. “She’s so good to me. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve her. She’s made me a better man. A man that I’m proud of. A man I hope you’d be proud of, too.” He paused again, pinching the bridge of his nose before wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. “I know that uh- I know before, um you were gone, that you really worried about me. I know you’d never say it, but um, I could tell. And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mom.” His voice was now barely above a whisper, years of guilt and anger bubbling in his chest for the person he’d been, the life his mother had lived to see him play out while halfway across the world, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in anymore. 

“But, I um- I just- fuck, I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m more than okay, now. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, all because of her. We’re gonna build a house, we’re gonna have kids, we’re gonna be so happy, Mom. So fucking happy. Te amo mucho, Mama. Siempre lo hare (I love you so much, Mama. I always will).” 

So focused on the quiet conversation with the simple stone sitting beneath him, Javi hadn’t even heard Steve’s hurried footsteps creeping up behind him, making Javi practically jump out of his skin as Steve’s hand met his shoulder. 

“Hey, buddy. You ready to-” 

“Jesus, fuck Murph. You scared the fucking shit out of me.” Javi gasped, thoroughly startled as he shot to his feet, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his face as he faced his friend. 

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to, promise!” Steve laughed, holding his hands up in defense before letting his expression shift to concern at Javi’s face. “Hey, you okay, Jav?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m- No, I’m good, sorry. Just um- Just wish my mom could have been here for this, ya know? She would have really fucking loved her.” 

“Hey, it’s okay, man. My dad was gone before my wedding, too. Fuckin’ sucks.” Steve smiled sympathetically, “Truth be told Jav, that girl you’re gonna marry, I think it’s hard for anyone not to love her. Your mom would be really happy for ya.” 

“Thanks, Murph.” Javi huffed, a small smile spreading across his face at Steve’s genuine sympathy, a trait he didn’t see very often. 

“C’mere, buddy.” Without giving him a choice, Steve wrapped his arms around Javi, pulling him in for a hug with a few stiff pats on the back before pulling away with a nod, hands on his hips as he stared down his friend with a shit eating grin, knowing the news he was about to tell Javi would instantly turn his mood around. “Speakin’ of your future wife… You wanna see her?” 

“Wait, like, now? Like, actually?” Javi’s mood instantly shifted, his entire body lighting up at the prospect, looking at Steve with relief glistening in his dark brown eyes. 

“Yeah, actually. Thank God your wife is just as obsessed with you as you are with her. Jesus Christ, I think the both of ya would have fuckin’ exploded if we made you wait ‘till the ceremony.” Steve chuckled, grabbing Javi’s shoulder and giving it a playful shake. “Alright, you turn around so it’s a surprise when she gets out here, lemme go get her. And Jav?” Steve asked, turning his head back over his shoulder to look at his friend as he began to walk away back towards the house. 

“Yeah, Murph?” 

“You’re losin’ that bet. No way in fuckin’ hell you ain’t sobbin’ like a baby the second you lay eyes on her.” 

As Steve disappeared back into the house, Javi couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, because as much as he wanted to dish shit back to Steve, he knew his friend was right- He was about to be a fucking mess. 

“So? Are we good? Does he wanna see me?” You asked, anxiously waiting at the door, feet tapping on the floor hidden underneath your dress as you waited for Steve’s return. 

“No offense, Sweetheart, but that's just about the dumbest question I've ever heard. What do you think? Of course the bastard wants to see you. I’m just gonna warn ya though, that man is a hot mess, and I really think ya just may kill him the second he sees you.” The two of you laughed to yourselves, feeling your heart beat faster and faster in your chest with every passing second, using all of your self restraint to keep from bolting out the door past Steve to see Javi. “Alright, I won’t keep ya any longer, go get ‘em, killer.” 

Before you could get yourself out the door, you embraced Steve in a hug, catching him off guard for a moment before he hugged you back, smiles spread across both your faces. 

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t got nothin’ to thank me for. If anything, hell, I should be thankin’ you. You two lovebirds are a match made in fuckin’ heaven. I was real worried about that old bastard for a long time. Glad to know I don’t have to worry about him anymore. Well, at least too much more. Now, enough about my sorry ass, go see your husband.” 

With a silent nod, you gave Steve one more quick hug before you were turning the knob to the front door, quietly stepping out to the front porch to see Javi’s back to you at the bottom of the stairs, already trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes without even seeing his face. As you closed the door behind you, Javi instantly perked up, turning his head back over his shoulder just enough to speak, but not enough to see that it was you who was walking to greet him. 

“She good to come out, Murph? I’m fucking dying out here.” Javi laughed, making you giggle at the fact that he had no idea it was you who was standing behind him. 

“Hate to break it to you, but unfortunately, I am not Steve. So sorry.” You snickered, practically feeling Javi’s eyes roll at your sarcastic comment, even though the both of you were thankful for a little humor to break the anxious anticipation that had been festering in your stomachs since this morning. 

“God, you’re such a dork.” He laughed, his back still turned to you as you took your final steps down the stairs with your dress in hand, trying to fluff it back out as you settled yourself behind him. 

“Hey, you’ve got me for the rest of your life, babe. Lucky you. I’m not gonna lie, don’t think I cleaned up half bad, ya know, if you wanna see.” You teased, giving Javi a playful poke on the back as you bit down on your bottom lip, so excited to see Javi’s reaction you truly thought your heart was going to explode out of your chest. 

“Baby, you have no fucking idea. C-can I, can I see you?” Javi stammered, his voice already beginning to tremble. 

“Well, I think I’m gonna implode if you don’t, so yeah.” You took one last long inhale in, holding your breath as Javi slowly began to turn to face you, feeling like everything was suddenly moving in slow motion when Javi’s eyes finally locked with yours. 

Javi couldn’t even get a word out before his hands were covering his mouth, his jaw dropping open in absolute awe to see you standing behind him. The tears he swore to himself he’d try to fight back were already streaming down his face, his eyes looking you up and down over and over again, trying to soak in every ounce of you, only crying harder as he noticed each and every new detail of you standing before him. 

“Osita… Oh my god. Oh my god.” Javi’s hand stayed glued over his mouth to try and keep his jaw from dropping any further than it already was, absolutely mesmerized by your beauty, barely able to get out any sort of coherent thought out of his brain. “Baby, you, oh my god, you look so beautiful. You look so fucking beautiful.”  

While you figured that Javi would cry and be excited to see you, nothing could have prepared you for the reaction that you were witnessing in real time, watching your future husband become a complete, blubbering mess at the sight of you, making it damn near impossible for you to hold it together yourself, considering the fact that you were also busy trying to take in the ridiculously handsome sight of Javi in his tuxedo- his broad body filling out every inch of the black fabric perfectly, hair and mustache impeccably groomed, and sweet, teary brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight, making you melt, tears rolling down your face as your heart bursted at the seams over and over again, wondering how in the world this wasn’t all some sort of a perfect dream. 

“You like it?” You managed to choke out through your happy sobs, your cheeks straining from the stupid grin that had spread across your face, the both of you radiating in the blissful glow of your excitement. 

“Like it? Osita, are you fucking kidding me? Do I like it? Holy shit, baby, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You look... Osita, you look incredible.” Javi laughed through his tears, taking another step back to grab your hand, looking you up and down again before holding your arms up to twirl you in a circle, your dress flowing around you, making you giggle as you finally finished rotating to lock eyes with Javi again. “Hermosa, I knew you were gonna look amazing, but I- I never, I never could have imagined that you were gonna look like this.” 

“Coming from you? Jesus, Jav, I’m convinced you’re trying to kill me in that tux before we can even get married. You look so good. Javi?” You paused, grabbing his other hand so your fingers were intertwined, his thumb automatically tracing soft circles on your skin. 

“Yeah, baby?” Javi replied, biting down on his bottom lip as he gulped, trying to hold back the lump resting in his throat from his happy tears as he stared down at you. 

“Javi… We’re getting married. We’re getting fucking married.” 

“Fuck. We’re getting married. Holy shit.” As if the smile on Javi’s face couldn’t get any wider, his boyish grin gleamed between his cheeks, wrapping his arms around you to engulf you in a tight hug against his chest, the two of you laughing to yourself in disbelief that you had finally made it here- that only a few short moments, the two of you got to begin the rest of your forevers together. “Can I- Can I kiss you?” He asked in a soft whisper, pulling back to tilt his head towards yours, sliding one of his hands up to gently cup your cheek, shifting your gaze up towards him. 

“What kind of question is that, you dork?” You teased, bringing your mouth close enough to his to let your lips barely ghost over one anothers, butterflies swarming in a sea of excitement. 

“Because I’m afraid if I start kissing you, I’m not gonna be able to stop.” 

“Do your worst, Peña.” 

As if time began to move in slow motion, your mouths met with an electric and tender intensity, slowly becoming a mix of tangled tongues and teeth, your hand sneaking under the opening of Javi’s suit jacket to wrap around his waist as the grip around your face began to tighten, your bodies melting together as one in a nearly magical moment- Well, as magical as it could get before being interrupted by all your friends and family that had gathered on the front porch to share in the moment with you. 

“Hey! Lovebirds! Jesus Christ, save it for the ceremony!” Steve shouted, a chorus of laughter erupting behind him, startling you and Javi. 

“Good Lord, Steve, give it a rest. They missed each other!” Connie sighed, shaking her head at her husband’s loud interruption. 

“Yeah, that’s our sister, you pervert!” David chimed in, the familiarity of his taunting voice making you roll your eyes, putting your hands on your hips as you stared back at the crowd. 

“Will you can it, you dingus? It’s their wedding day for Christ’s sake!” Your dad groaned, slapping David in the back of the head. 

“Daddy, what’s a pervert?” Olivia asked, looking over at Charlie as Chucho held her against his hip, grimacing as he tried not to laugh at the exchange. 

“Seriously David, really? Grow up! They’re so adorable, let your sister have this.” Your mom scolded, promptly giving him another whack to the stomach, you and Javi now laughing to each other at the scene that was unfolding in front of you on the porch. 

“Well,” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge, “It seems like everyone else has been able to solve the ‘you not being able to stop kissing me’ problem.” 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi sighed to himself, running his hand over his face as he stared back into the crowd watching you and him, “Can we get a few more minutes to ourselves before the ceremony? Please? I haven’t seen her all day.” 

“C’mon, let’s give the two some privacy. Lindas (cuties), why don’t we go look to make sure all the flowers are ready. Maybe we can practice walking down the aisle again?” Cucho smiled at the two of you, giving Javi a subtle wink as the girls began to giggle with delight, racing off to the backyard in a fit of squeals of excitement. 

“We’ll do another check of everything, too, I wanna make sure everything’s in place before the ceremony. Do you mind helping, Connie? Boys, will you go check to make sure all the food and drinks are ready for cocktail hour” Your mom asked, picking up on Chucho’s hint to give the two of you some space, now trying to rope your dad, brothers and Steve into that equation as well. 

“Can I have a beer if I help?” 

“Jesus Christ, David.” 

Everyone's conversations began to trail as they headed their separate ways, leaving you and Javi standing in the front yard alone, once again,  looking at each other with mischievous grins- Yours from knowing damn well that Javi had something up his sleeve, and Javi’s from the something stored up there. 

“What’s that look for, Jav?” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi as you waited for him to let you in on whatever plan he had brewing in his brain. 

“I think… I think that I really have to go to the bathroom.” Javi replied, boyish grin glowing between his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. 

“And you’re really making it seem like going to the bathroom is a two person job.” You snickered, rolling your eyes at Javi, knowing exactly what he was implying. “Baby, the ceremony is gonna start in an hour, everyone’s here and I don’t think there’s gonna be enough-” 

Before you could finish your thought, Javi was swallowing the rest of your sentence in a long, deep kiss, only pulling away to quietly rasp in your ear. 

“Is that a challenge, Osita? I promise I’ll be fast, baby, you just look so fucking beautiful, and I don’t think I’m gonna make it if I can’t have my wife all to myself, even if it’s just for a few minutes. ” 

“God, you’re such a drama queen.” You sighed with a snicker, heat creeping in your core knowing that you had just as little self control as Javi did, peeking your head to make sure that everyone had dispersed before they watched you and Javi sneak inside together. “We have to be quick, okay? I just don’t want-AH! Javi!” You squealed as Javi was scooping you off your feet mid sentence, very fittingly carrying you bridal style across the front yard and up the steps of the porch, nudging the door open with his hip, the two of you all giggles and smiles as he whisked you through the house, stopping at his childhood bedroom, promptly setting you on the ground to shut the door behind him. 

With a click of the lock and a rattle of the door handle to make sure they were safe from intruders, Javi’s hands were all over you in an instant, his mouth crashing into yours as he walked you back towards the ensuite attached to his bedroom, hoisting you up onto the kitchen sink as he shut the bathroom door behind him for an extra layer of protection. 

You could tell how hard Javi was trying to keep himself in check, considering the amount of time and effort that had gone into your hair and makeup, and the delicacy of your dress, but it was taking every ounce of self control he had to not rip it right off you. Softly letting his kisses trail down your body, Javi began to sink to his knees, smirking up at you with his awestruck gaze as he carefully began to lift up the layers of your dress, running his hands up and down your bare thighs. 

“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are, Osita? Fuck, I can’t believe you’re gonna be my wife. My beautiful, amazing, perfect wife.” The hot breath of his words danced against your skin as Javi peppered soft kisses up the inside of your thighs, his head almost disappearing underneath your dress as he creeped closer and closer to your core, already soaked with your arousal waiting for Javi’s touch. “You’re mine forever, Hermosa. Fuck, I’m so lucky. I love you so much.” 

“I-I love you too, Javi.” You whined, your breath already shaky as Javi’s fingers hooked around the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs and letting them drop to the floor below you before letting his fingers glide through your folds, already glistening with your arousal. 

“Fuck, you’re already so wet, baby. Can’t believe this perfect pussy is all mine forever too. God, you’re so fucking perfect. Everything about you. Mmmm, I know we don’t have a lot of time, but I have to taste you, Hermosa. Can I, baby?” Javi mewled, making you gasp as he gently slid two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down. 

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, Fu-ahhhhh.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked a long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine. 

While Javi would have loved to take every second of his sweet time to savor in watching you fall apart on his tongue, he knew just as well as you that he was working on a limited schedule, and wanted, no, needed to make sure he could get you off at least once before his luck ran out. 

Javi began to work his tongue against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your heat, his free hand hooking around your thigh and draping it over his shoulder, digging his fingertips into the meat of your flesh, like he was trying to ground himself more than you. 

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as, his lips now latching around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around Javi’s fingers with every movement of his mouth against you. 

“That’s it, mi amor.” Javi cooed, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Forever. I’ve always got you. Promento (I promise).” 

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen 

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close, I’m so close, I’m so cl-ooohhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder, shuttering at the loss of Javi’s fingers inside you. He carefully pulled them out, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face. 

“Tastes so fucking sweet. My wife tastes so fucking sweet. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.” Javi chuckled with a boyish grin, gently cupping his hand under your chin as the other wrapped around your waist. 

“Get over what? Calling me your wife or eating me out?” You giggled, still trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high, biting down on your lip as your arms draped over Javi’s shoulders, your fingers tracing soft circles at the nape of his neck. 

“Both. Fuck, I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much too, you menace.” You smiled, tilting your head back to kiss Javi again, so blissfully lost in the moment, that the two of you both about jumped out of your skin when you heard a loud knock coming from the bedroom door. 

“Jav? You in here, buddy?” 

“Goddamnit, Murph…” 

The familiar twang of Steve’s voice made you freeze in fear, Javi quickly helping you down off the counter as he cursed to himself before the two of you were trying your best to fix yourselves up in the mirror to try and hide any signs of the horny whirlwind that had blown through the bathroom. 

“Javi?” Steve called out again, continuing to knock on the door. 

“Yeah, I’m here, just uh- Just give me a second, Murph.” Javi sighed, the two of you trying to keep from laughing at your current predicament, wondering how the hell Javi was going to talk you both out of this one. 

“What’s the plan, Peña?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge as he carefully turned the knob to the bathroom door. 

“To tell Murph to fuck off if he tries to give me shit.” The two of you quietly snorted, feeling a little less guilty than you would have if it wasn’t your wedding day. “You stay here, okay? I’ll take care of him.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek as he opened the door. 

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Osita.” 

Closing the bathroom door behind him, Javi took a few deep breaths as he ran his hands through his hair, turning the knob to open up his bedroom door to be greeted by an unamused Steve leaning in the door frame. 

“What’s up, Murph? We were just, uh-” Javi asked, trying his best to stay casual. 

“I fuckin’ knew it. Don’t ‘what’s up’ me, you horny bastard.” Steve groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend. “Y’all haven’t even made it to the ceremony yet! Jesus Fuckin’ Christ. Everyone’s been lookin’ for y’all. I had a fuckin’ feeling this is what you two were up two, and as your Best Man, I’ll cover for your ass now, but I sure as shit ain’t doin’ this all night for you two rabbits. Now c’mon, Casanova, go get your wife from in there and come outside. Remember that thing y’all gotta do where you actually go get married?” Steve teased, slapping Javi in the chest before shaking his head at his friend, his cheeks pink in embarrassment as his eyes darted to the floor. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be out in a second.” Javi grumbled sheepishly, quietly accepting defeat. 

“An actual second, ya hear? Not a horny Javier Peña second, or I swear to God.” Steve groaned, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“Promise.” 

“Alright then. Chop, chop, Mr. Peña. Let’s go get your ass married.” Steve laughed, grabbing Javi by the shoulder before giving him a little shake and disappearing back down the hallway. 

Hearing Steve’s voice and footsteps fade, you slowly peeked your head out of the bathroom door to see Javi standing by himself, head buried in his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to see your face, equally embarrassed as his. 

“... He knew, didn’t he?” You grimaced, now fully opening the door and walking through to meet Javi on the other side. 

“Yup.” Javi sighed, adding an extra emphasis to the “p” with a pop. 

“Well… Either Steve has the world’s most unlucky timing, or he just needs to do a better job of minding his business.” The two of you snickered, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared up at Javi. “Or maybe someone needs to stop being such a bad influence.” You teased, poking Javi in the chest. 

“Me? I’m the bad influence? Okay.” Javi chuckled, teasing you right back. “Sorry I’m getting married to the hottest woman alive and I can’t help myself. My gorgeous wife is one not making it any easier on me.” 

“Still not technically your wife yet, you dork.” 

“Close enough.” 

Grabbing you by your waist, Javi pulled you flush against chest, tilting his head in for a long, tender kiss- the kind that made heat creep through your cheeks and butterflies churn in your stomach, the kind that made your heart beat a million miles a minute, the kind that seemed to make everything else in the world stand still, even if just for a moment. The kind of kiss that made you know without a single doubt that you had never been more in love than you were at this very moment. 

“I love you, Javi.” 

“I love you too, Osita.” 

“You wanna go get married?” 

“Mrs. Peña,” Javi grinned, grabbing your hand to interlock it with his, “There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more in my fucking life.”

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @pedr0swh0r3 @chaotic-iguana

[babydollmarauders]

COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others

y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;

to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)

i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.

but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.

when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.

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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!

jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway

y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3

jackhughes i’m taking it down

y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!

jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!

user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹

user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?

y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly

jackhughes i can’t say i blame him

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?

jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?

trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you

y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?

trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME

y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧

trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”

y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about

john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH

user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭

jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours

y/ndevils00 NO!

jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave

y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING

jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…

y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺

jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over

user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹

ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?

y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!

ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.

y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹

ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.

y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!

user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?

y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?

jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!

dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3

dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!

user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD

e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always

y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!

e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino

y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!

e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney

y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind

user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER

lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass

y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!

_quinnhughes how?

y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3

edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!

y/ndevils00 yes??

edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!

y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM

adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!

y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE

jackhughes so do you? constantly.

john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️

y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

john.marino97 now give me your phone

y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox

user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!

john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖒𝖊 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖓𝖊𝖜

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

"𝘛𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯"

彡 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 彡

✦ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 ✦

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 : locked away from freedom yet again, you've come too far, you wouldn't let your guard down, won't lose hope because of one good reason

𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 : light and straight to the point, I promise

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 : 18+ Knight!Eddie Munson x Princess!FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (21), Henry is (30+), Jason (my apologies), use of y/n, age gap, manipulation, arrange marriage, Jason is so eager to make reader give up- so, beware of how I made him so toxic in this, harassment, rumors, town gossip, denial, reader having trust issues

𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙 : the awaiting fluff will come over soon, the first chapters will be a lot of ANGST! , the story is set in 17th century, upside down exists in this series, dark fantasy, romance, drama, action, slight Wayne reoccurring, if you squint 🤫

𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊 𝕿𝖔 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 : the frequent likes and the reblogs, keep em' coming because I'm literally so stoked to see y'all loving it! even though I'm still shy and couldn't believe that this little series of mine will be seen! 🥺🫶🏻

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊 : I'm honestly itching to literally jump to the big revelation of Eddie's character in this, just wait til' see you guys- good things comes to those who wait ;))

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

You woke up in your bedroom

Haunted

Haunted, by the fact that you came back here again, the place you once you called home

Now, the place, upside down, the one that many people say it's a horrific world

It is given that it's indeed scary to live there, you wanted to go back because you felt much more safer there

The duality of being in here, in your palace, where it's normal, you know it in yourself that you will always choose, the unusual place

The upside down

You're are now dreading to go outside with Henry and Jason

"You only lived there for a month, Y/N"

Jason's voice echoes into your mind, he told that to you while removing the bind from your wrist

You don't care

You really don't give a shit that he's talking about

You never felt more secured since your father disappearance when you're with Eddie

In all of your 20 years of life, funny, you've almost forgotten your birthday today

It's just not the same anymore

You loved your home, you really do

But ever since that night, it changed everything

Every corner, every room, every inch of your place is now tarnished and tainted by the creeps that is now roaming all over your home

"Miss?"

A knock from your door, taken you back into the reality

You begrudgingly sighed as you sit up

"You may enter"

"Morning, your grace" your maid arrives with a tray of breakfast

You eat up as you already planning to escape again

You've noticed that your maid hasn't left your chambers yet

You knit your brows together as you watch her hesitant to speak out loud

"Can I say something?"

"Go on"

She looks over at your door before she spoke up, she leans closer as she whispers

"I know- the king, your father has already warned you about people like them but he is right, your excellency"

You chew slowly as you listen

"I don't know, if you'll believe me but I saw Henry, he has the ability to lift things with his hands"

You blinked "I'm sorry? What?"

she struggles to explain as she stutters "I-I think, Henry has powers"

The last words that she told you, it's like only for you to hear as she speaks it so low

You stare at her as you try to rethink all of the interactions that you had with him before

"Don't worry, I believe you, thank you for telling me"

"Your most welcome-"

"Y/N, morning"

as if on cue, speak of the devil, Henry came inside your room unannounced, you covered yourself with blanket, conscious about his actions

"Is she troubling you?"

You and the maid looked at each other as you think for a better valid reason that'll work

"The eggs are a bit runny, I'm just explaining her how to cook it the way that I like"

You gave her the tray as she took it and leaves the room

"Don't you have any manners, Henry?" You cleared your throat

The way he looks at you, you can't really tell if he's being genuine or not

You don't see that when you look at Eddie

"Oh, pardon, my intrusion, princess- I just wanted to see you how you're doing"

You wrap your arms around yourself hoping that he'll take the hint that you're shielding yourself

Your white nightgown is so thin and see-through, you glanced at your vanity, there's your robe draping in the rim of your chair, god- you wished you've worn it, the only decent that's covering you it's your blanket but you can't help but feel naked in front of him

"I'm fine, thank you for asking" you briefly look at him straight in the eyes

"Accept my apologies on the behalf of Jason, I know he's taken you too far from any inconveniences, he can be so arse about his duties but he's a strong soldier and I trust him"

You tried your best not to roll your eyes at his utterance

He's a fucking asshole, alright- that's all he is

You lick your lips as you try to muster up "You have my forgiveness, but Henry, next time, you'll knock before you enter my room" your face expression has that strict look

He nods as he humbled down towards your tone

Your maid came back with your breakfast tray, Henry has still have something more to say but decides against it

"I'll leave you to it" Henry tug up a small smile to you as you nod at him

Why don't you bring the smile back at him?

Once he shuts the door behind him

You fall back onto your bed as you say while you look at the ceiling

"I am conflicted whether he is being honest or not, his aura is so questionable to me"

"Your highness, your food might get cold-"

"To you what can you say about him?" You raise yourself back up to your position before as you ask your maid

"Uh- he's plucky"

You snorted "Right on, I can agree with that"

"How can we passed the guards?" Gareth says as he carries his things

"People can recognize us!" Jeff puts on a scarf over his neck

"So, let's disguise then" Eddie covers himself a cloak with a hood and he gave the others the same thing

"Oh, isn't that just so easy to hide! I know you care for the girl but are you sure this is going to work?" Gareth sarcastically smiles as he reasons with Eddie

"Not that only he cares for her but also he loves her" Jeff shoots a wink at Eddie as he puts on the cloak

"I am going to skin you both alive" Eddie who is annoyed while the two starts snickering and an amused Enzo approaching them

"What's this that I hear? Now, I get it why she pulled that act for you"

"That was nothing- it's just these two are getting on my nerves" Eddie scoffs as he clutches his sword and went out first in the portal

"Oh my fucking great" Gareth frustratedly throw his hand up

"What is it?" Jeff questions him as he watches his friend stressed out

Gareth points to your castle that is literally miles away ahead from them

"Do you think we can still get there alive?" He looks over at Eddie who is squeezing his eyes, restraining every part inside of him not to annihilate- he is still annoyed at the thought that he might have feelings for you

"You gotta have a lot of faith, Gareth" Eddie told him as his friend rolls his eyes at him

"Good thing, there aren't people around to see us" Enzo looks around the woods that leads to town

"Let's get going" Eddie nods as all of them start walking

It's weird to wear your gowns

It's weird to walk around the halls of your home with your heels clicking

It's weird to have someone help you to get ready, you don't want this and you don't need this

You want to get out of here

You want to be with someone who can fix this whole madness

You're headed towards at the library that way you could avoid talking to them

But, the moment you turn on the other side, Henry is there

Shit

Before you could turn your heel around, he spoke your name as you shut your eyes as you sighed, you look back at him

He straightens himself up as he looks at you

From your face and your whole get up

"You look ravishing, Y/N"

You really don't wanna talk to him

"Uh- thank you, I should be going-"

"Please- don't" he took your hand in his as you look down at it and back at him

He saw your untrusting expression that is targeted at him, he quickly rips his hands from you

"I know we get off in the wrong foot, but, can we please- let's just start over?"

You want to believe him

You really do

But, something else is holding you back to get close to him

You cannot read to what he meant behind those eyes

Why do you get the feeling that he is hiding something?

Is he really being truthful to you?

"I-I don't know, Henry"

"But we could start slow- that's fine by me"

You shift in your stance as you finally look at him

His eyes are longing for you?

"How could I know that you're not tricking me?"

"I am not, Y/N, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you"

"Can you give me some time to think about it?"

"Of course" his smile is hopeful and somehow you're still taking precautions to his actions

But, your words are promising to him

That's progress

"Oh- what a fucking picturesque that you're both going on, hmm?" A slurring Jason appeared before you

You rolled your eyes at his drunken state

"Let's not, Jason" Henry narrows his eyes at him as he shielded you away from him

"Did you asked her about the marriage?"

Your soft eyes went aflame as you glare at Henry

"No- it's not what you think, Y/N!" Henry grumbles as he looks at Jason

"Don't you see it? Y/N? He likes you!" Jason chuckles as he tries to balance himself

"Go to fucking hell, Jason" You spat as you leave them both together but before you could do that he blocks your path

"Now- don't you dare walk out of me!" He grabs your wrists as he hold you tightly

"Let me go! Jason!" You grimaced at his alcoholic breath as you tried to take off the grip that he has on you

"Jason- get your hands off with her!" Henry had enough of him as he hold him back off with you

Jason wouldn't let go as Henry fumed at him

He had no choice but to....

A sudden force that made he him move away from you as your eyes widened, knocking off Jason at the wall as he drops to the floor

Your maid earlier told you about this

But, seeing this in action made you feel shocked even you already knew

You're petrified as you blink rapidly as you watch Henry wiped off the blood from his nose with the back of his hand

You take a step backwards but Henry felt you moving away from him

"No- no- no" He moves closer to hold both of your forearms

As you start shaking in fear, you flinched at his cold touch

"Please, don't be afraid"

You tried to speak but you couldn't as you start to sob quietly

"I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, Y/N- I would never hurt you" he starts to cradle your cheek as you watch his movements

"This is what I fear of you, you being scared of me"

You let the ghostly tears fall as he uses his thumb to remove it, you try to gain back your composure

"Henry, please, I need a moment to breathe"

He blinks as he nods at you as he gives you some space

You look at Henry and then back at Jason who is unconscious

This is a lot to take in as you breathe out

"Can I be excused?"

"Yes, you can, Y/N"

You muttered a quiet thank you as you directed yourself towards your chambers

You cupped your mouth as you try to replay of what just happened, Henry watches you go with a look of worry on his eyes

As much as you wanted to handle this on your own

You can't help but to need someone beside you

You want him and you need him

You need Eddie

The four men, rest and build a camp as Eddie always

Always looking at your castle from afar

The journey that they're taking, they're in the middle of it, he's almost there

"You know she won't appear if you look at it more often, right?" Gareth swirls the ladle on the pot that he's cooking soup for dinner

He scoffs as he sits on the rock with arms crossed

"I'm just worried for her, man" Eddie deeply sighs

"Jason is such a dick, I swear" Gareth brings up the interaction that happened before

"But we haven't met Henry yet, we have no idea who he is, maybe he is not awful like him" Jeff suggests

"That young man has taken over her financial services" Enzo recalls as he cleans his weapons

"I take back what I said, they're both assholes" Jeff shakes his head to Enzo's remark

"Here, you have to eat- I know she'll be fine" he hands him a bowl of soup

"I know that she can but I just wished that I was there with her through all of it"

Gareth smiles at him

Eddie is confused at it as he starts to slurp the broth at the edges of the rim of his bowl

He swallows "What?"

"Nothing, I just- you always seem so serious and now it looks like because of her you had the another reason to live"

He tug up a smile as he says "As much you're a pain in the ass, but, yeah she is"

"You both know we could hear to what you're both talking about, right?" Jeff speaks as he pours himself another bowl

Enzo chuckles as he drinks from his cup

"Stop ruining the moment, man!" Gareth yells out to him as all of them shared a laugh

The firepit smoked off as the sunrise shines through out the area

"She's getting married!"

"To whom?"

"Henry!"

"Isn't he like too old for the poor girl?"

Eddie registered the sounds of the townspeople that is too close for him to hear

Good thing, there's a bunch of bushes around their camp

He sits up as he listens at them

"When did you hear it?"

"Just today, I think they're preparing the wedding soon enough"

Eddie buried his face with the palm of his hands as he runs his fingers through his hair

He looked at his companions, who are still asleep as he breathes deeply

Why would he feel disappointed?

He mustn't feel this way since

You're not even his

Maybe, your kindness and sweet demeanor towards him, he misinterpreted it

That's where it dawned on him, it hit him like a ton of bricks, his heart dropped when he finally comes to the realization

He loves you

He feels that he is running out of time, it's like he is trying to reach you but now he can't help but to feel that you're slowly slipping out of his touch

He remembers what you told to Jeff that you're about to married to him, but you didn't want to, you clearly told all of them that you don't want to be a part of it

But, you still don't want it until now? right?

No, he will not let the other people get into him, it mustn't be true

He let them get into his head and his thoughts

He will come and get you

He stood up and wakes Gareth

Gareth groaned as he uses his arms to propped himself up "Wha- What is it?"

"We're losing her, let's go"

Henry is startled by your presence, his face falls when he saw you so upset, watching you very closely with concern as he follows you behind your back

Enraged by the news, you entered the main room as you pushed the doors wide open with anger rushing through your veins

"Jason, I have the bone to pick with you, what was that about?!?"

If doesn't that make you feel mad even more, he is sitting in your father's chair

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, princess" he acts like he didn't do anything

God- you want to scratch his smug face off

"Oh, I know you're the main reason why everybody talks about it"

"About what?"

"You're the one who fucking spread it!"

Henry who is unaware of it all, he looks at you and to Jason who just shrugs at him

When Jason didn't gave you answers and that adds more to the fuel that you're having right now

You feel so freaking on fire that you could explode, you turn to Henry still having that frown on your face

"Are you on this? Did you have something to do with it?"

"Wha- What?! No- I don't even know what you're implying to"

"Your most trusted fucking dipshit soldier, he told everyone that we agreed on the arrangement which we're clearly not!"

The last lines you shout it out to Jason who is so smugly couldn't careless to what you're dealing with

Henry facepalmed as he says "Jason, what the hell?!?"

You lift your gown as you exit the room, you want to scream

"Is the only way to get her controlled!"

"Controlled?!? Do you have any idea to what you just started?!?

He scoffs "This isn't supposed to be big deal anymore, they already knew all about it and I just confirmed it"

"She is not ready! Let's give her some time"

"There is no time!"

Henry put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, he looked back seeing you aren't being there anymore

That's what he thought

You're hiding behind closed doors, listening to their argument

He exasperatingly sighs as he begins "I cared for her and because of you she can't even trust me completely because I'm with you!" He points at himself

"You thought me being drunk last night- I wouldn't know to what you just did to me? Okay, fine let's see she'll grow on you like you told me before" Jason pushes his chair back and stood up as he walks towards to Henry

"How did she handle it when she finds out that you had powers?"

You tensed as the memory flashes back at you

Henry sighs in defeat as he couldn't fire back at him

He chuckles "See? That's what I thought"

"It- It wouldn't change anything" Henry still believes that you can

He knows that someday you'll believe him

You couldn't bear to hear more of it so you walk away

"It wouldn't be the same once the truth is out"

Henry leaves him as he shuts the doors angrily

"We have to get inside here" Enzo opens the door that leads the way towards the dungeon

"Seriously, man? The dungeon?" Gareth roams his eyes over the prisoner's cells

"It's the only easy way to get inside" Enzo whispers as he ducks his down at the passing royal guards

"He knows what he was doing, let's just get on with it" Eddie told them as they went all in

It's nail-biting to get caught, but they managed to get further more

When the four of them passed the other prisoners

There's someone in particular that caught his attention

He looks more closely as he looked at the elder man who is asleep

Why do he felt that his heart is telling that he knew this man

He heard the clicks of heels that says someone is coming

He hides himself quickly, he looks over that his friends already far left ahead of him

He's about to leave until....

He heard your voice

You mentioned a name

The voice that he missed so much

He wants to hear it all the time

The tendency is very strong to make him self appear right then and there, if you could only see his eyes twinkle

He took a step but someone else is with you

"Y/N, what are you doing here?"

You came for him because you had no one else to lean on

"I was- just checking if anyone is doing their job"

He hummed "That's my job, princess, leave that to me"

Wayne stirred from his sleep as his eyes adjusts at the figure before him

His eyes sparked that he saw you in there, but you can't do anything to talk to him

Because of him, Henry

You glanced at Wayne who is directly looking at you

"Sire, there's a witness that someone came out of the portal"

You placed your hand over your mouth trying to be subtle not to react at the report that the guard just told Henry

Eddie went out? To look for you?

"What?"

Henry take a one last look at you "Duty calls, you sure you'll be fine by yourself here?"

"I will be so glad if you're not snooping around me so much" you think to yourself

"Yes, I'll be good"

Henry nods as he leaves by the door

You sigh as you kneeled down in front of the bars that Wayne's caged in

"Wayne, I'm sorry, I didn't knew that you're here- I wasn't aware that you've been here all along"

You can tell from his eyes, he is like candle that's melting- he's tired

"it's alright, Y/N, you don't have to feel sorry for me"

You turn your back and you saw the key that laying on the table "I have you to get out of here"

You inserted the key but he stopped you to unlock it

"Y/N, I'll survive but you have to leave"

"I can't just leave you here again, no- please there's so many things that I have to tell you!"

"What is it that you're trying to tell me?"

"It's Ed-"

Wayne placed a finger in the middle of his lips as he shushes you

You overheard Jason and one of his guards coming closer

"Where is she?"

"I think she's in the dungeon, sire"

"You let her in there?!? She must've been talking to-" Jason grunts as he quickly picks up his feet to get on to the other room

You hide yourself on the other side, you almost shrieked at the hooded figure next to you, so, you ran away from it- too freaked out at the person that you bumped

You almost saw him

You almost reunited

You almost met the eyes of the person that you're trying to get back to

Eddie could've stopped you but before he can do it, you already scurrying away from him

He followed you to where you went but he couldn't find you

"Eddie! Where have you been?" Gareth pulled him back in the corner to where no one can see them

"it's Y/N- she scurried away because it was dark inside she didn't even realized it was me"

"You saw her?" Jeff gasps as he looked over at the halls for you

Enzo sighs as he rests his back at the wall

"I-I heard him"

"Who?"

"Henry"

"Did you saw his face?"

"Not clearly, but you we're right he wasn't like Jason but Y/N is so wary of him"

"What else?"

"She was talking to someone, someone she called Wayne-"

"Wayne? Wayne is still alive?" Enzo held him by the shoulders, the three young men are astounded to his sudden action

"Yes, he is locked up in there" Eddie uses his thumb directing at the dungeon

"You'll look for Y/N, I'll handle Wayne" Enzo implies as he headed at the dungeon

"Let's go, boys" Eddie nods

You closed the door behind locked it as you catching up with your breath as you pant from running

You eyes land on the documents that are scattered all over your father's desk

You walked forward picked up the papers, you feel sick to your stomach

Jason, he forged a marriage document of you and Henry

Much to your dismay and out of anger, you crumpled the paper that you're holding, you throw the rest of the papers and push everything out of the desk, you screamed harder as you fell down on to knees

You breakdown and cry for the first time, you really don't want to be like this

But, you can't help but to release everything that is killing inside of you

You're too enervated by all of this

You went out of the room, you have to confront him once and for all

"Look!" Jeff points at you as they hide

"It's Y/N!" Gareth whisper-shouts

"She looks-" Jeff frowns at the look of your face

"Distraught" Eddie is disturbed by your state

Wrath and Despair are nestled in your enchanting face as you stomping around as you look for someone

If things aren't like this, he would've worshipped you of how beautiful you look

"Let's follow her" Eddie says as they tailed behind you

"Jason!"

"Hmm?"

"You better explain yourself!" you held up the now crumpled contract in front of him

"What- what the hell did you do to it?" He snatched the paper away from your hands as you scoffed

"What did I do? You should be punished for your crimes, Jason!"

"Why are you so stubborn? I am saving you from your debt!"

"You clearly missing the point here- don't change the fucking subject, I don't want any marriage!"

"You don't have anybody anymore, princess, you have no choice just face it"

"Whatever it is that you're trying to do, I will deny it!"

"Is it because of that boy isn't it?"

Jeff and Gareth looked at Eddie who is fiery watching you ranting with Jason

Don't crack

Don't let him see through you

"He has nothing to do with this-"

"You're so foolish, Y/N"

"No, I am not-" you're seething and you start seeing red as you move closer to him

He wanted to say something to make you even more furious as you didn't let him cut you off this time

"He held my life within his hands, Jason, you don't know anything what you just done to me- he created everything I am"

Eddie's eyes softens at your words, he tilted his head at you

You care for him as much as he cares for you?

You tear the fake marriage contract in front him into pieces as he watches in horror

You leave him at that as he throw words at you and you didn't even care to what he was saying

As you continue to walk, the same hooded man earlier hold you by the arms and pinned your back on the wall as you protest

"Quiet down, it's me"

You calmed as you heard the familiar voice

The man before you, he takes off his hood as his eyes yearns for you

The words caught up in your throat, you feel lighter as a feather as you take him in

Your eyes are rimmed with flooding tears

"Eddie?"

[creativesplat]

for the character ask, how about Alcryst and Alfred?

right so this has been in my drafts for MONTHS so I decided I'd post it (I may not have done Alcryst, really sorry 😅)

sorry for taking so long to get back to you doodles!

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

oooh... I think Alfred would be amazing in an 1800s gothic horror book, maybe as the romantic interest. He and his wife Alear go to the Inn of the Blaiddyd family. He's on his deathbed with (insert romantic poet style wasting disease here (eg. consumption)), and as a last desperate attempt to heal him, Alear's sister Veyle has recommended to see a doctor who is treating the heir to the Inn, Dimitri. The doctor has no heart - literally - it was taken out by the one of the fell ones (eldtirch horrors) Bylee and Byleth, both identical twins, have lost their hearts, taken by the Immaculate One (eldritch Rhea, but she doesn't go by that name).

Anyway main points:

Dimitri's haunted (being treated for hallucinations and sickness of the mind, but he is actually for real haunted as well as mentally unwell)

This is because of the Blaiddyd curse, but let's not get into that.

Byleth and his sister, Bylee, came to treat Dimitri. Both came under the curse as a result, and attracted the Immaculate One.

So this would be book three of the series. (book one is Veyle and Alear escape the Fell Serpent (eldritch horror sombron)), book two is Dimitri and Bylee, they fall in love(?) they aren't sure and its never confirmed in book two, and she tells her brother Byleth about the haunted vibes she gets from the inn. Its about the two discovering the origin of the Blaiddyd curse and the Fell Star (eldritch horror that dwells in Bylee, it gets into a creepy what makes us human style thing) After a two year time skip in which we discover the handsome love interest that introduced Alear to the outside world in book one is deadly ill, and Veyle gets information on the Blaiddyd inn. A place which can heal loved ones, at a price...

duh duh duhhhh!!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

life's been boring by RYMAN LEON

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

ADHD coded!

also we're both people of faith (he's one of the most religious characters in the game, and I'm a Christian.)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have a lot... lets see...

Makes flower crowns for any and all reasons, one of them is to keep hands busy when hyperactive (eg fidget toy but flower crown version)

picky eater

insecure about his body (he talks to Marth about it in the bonds)

thick as mince. Like man is not a smart boi

hyperfixates on certain diets and exercise fads on loop. One month it was keto, the next it was about bodily flexibility (like the stay flexi guy), then he went vegan for health reasons, after that it was about meat (as raw as it could get, he got rather sick) all while going to the gym religiously.

he is an AWFUL cook

ADHD brain means he is NOT a very tidy guy

probably autistic, I mean look at his B support with Alear and tell me that man isn't

weighs less than Celiné. He isn't happy about it and tells her its because of his 'sleeper build' but he's actually just slim

Suffers with Chrones, chronic pain, as well as a slew of other genetic ailments. He did not win the genetic lottery

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

💪🥰🥺🤣🏋️🌸🌻👟 Idk he probably uses those

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

F!Alear, because it's very sweet, and the character models are really fun to pair together because they look so different!

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter? ALCRYST ALL THE WAY like Alfred would be the best big brother to Alcryst it's not even funny how good that would be I just love it! MAKE THEM INTERACT! ITs so good!

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Sokka, in some ways, because he's funny and silly and a little insecure, but honestly Sokka is WAY smarter than Alfred.

[noys-boise]

favourite book

book i most recently read

favourite song/album

song/album im listening to rn

favourite tv show/movie

tv show/movie i most recently watched

favourite video game

video game i most recently played

video game i wish i could experience for the first time again

tv show/movie i wish i could experience for the first time again

song/album i wish i could experience for the first time again

book i wish i could experience for the first time again

musical artist i wish had more of a fandom

game i wish had more of a fandom

tv show/movie i wish had more of a fandom

book i wish had more of a fandom

go-to comfort album

go-to comfort book

go-to comfort tv show/movie

go-to chill game

tell me literally everything actually

bro that's literally everything

1. favorite book: ngl I've only really read fanfiction lately and i doubt that counts so I might just skip some of these questions sorry

2. book you most recently read: Uncle of the year by Andrew Rannells but I keep procrastinating on finishing it even though it's really good

3. favorite song/album: for song Our time from Merrily we roll along for album The journey home by Malcolm Gets

4. song/album im listening to rn: well right now I'm not listening to music but generally I listen to literally any merrily we roll along from 1994 and 2023 cast recordings all the time

5. favorite tv show/movie: for tv show without a doubt Caroline in the city and for movie it's a tie between Tick tick boom and Howard the duck which is a sentence no one other than me would say

6. tv show/movie you most recently watched: well technically if you count a merrily we roll along bootleg it's that but if you don't count it for tv show last i watched was Community and for movie i think last one I actively watched was West side story

7. favorite video game: I'm not much of a gamer but uhh i guess The sims 4? that's a game I actually have on my laptop that i haven't touched in months

8. video game most recently played: idk if mobile games count, if they do then. brick shooter game i have on my phone. if not then yeah ts4 several months ago i really don't touch my laptop too often lately

9. video game i wish i could experience for the first time again: Monkey island 🥺 it was such a big part of my childhood I miss it so much

10. tv show/movie i wish i could experience for the first time again: for tv show Caroline in the city but specifically I want to experience it watching it one episode at a time instead of getting addicted to it, and in movie uhh literally any musical pro shot/bootleg i literally need to experience musicals for the first time again. especially Falsettos and Into the woods

11. song/album i wish i could experience for the first time again: Unlikely lovers from Falsettos and Our time from Merrily. Songs that changed my life honestly

12. book i wish i could experience for the first time again: Felix does not read much, shocking information. i have no memory of any book i ever read and it's a problem

13. musical artist i wish had more of a fandom: does Malcolm Gets count? yes he does

14. game i wish had more of a fandom: once again, monkey island, my beloved

15. tv show/movie i wish had more of a fandom: CAROLINE IN THE CITY. PLEASE.

17. go-to comfort album: merrily we roll along cast recordings, what does this say about my mental health that i consider that comfort

19. go-to comfort tv show/movie: Caroline in the city and Howard the duck still. though with Caroline in the city I have to choose my episodes wisely because some of them do the opposite of comfort for me

20. go-to chill game: still not much of a gamer, still gonna say ts4 for the third time, it's all i have

[ecofinisher]

Funny Sims meme I made - Part 2

This can happen in other cases too. I think this was actually a mod.... (Ah yes, River is dreaming of something)

Talking about River, during the years I don't remember seeing River in many gameplays of other Simmers. I know Holly and Lisa were common. Bebe sometimes too.

I found the eyes funny 🤩

I'm probably capable of remembering half of my classmates' names. With pictures it's probably easier for me to identify them from professional school back to 3/4th grade maybe? All Sunset Valians of the base game I can list them down without needing pictures.

The images look hideous the ore I look at it. (Gotta love seeing Lisa with those firecracker things inside the house. It's totally canon 😆)

Most of the drama I do contains random "vanishing" Sims or ruining Sims' love lives.

Why is there even a cheerleader outfit?

If she wasn't eating, I could sell this as Mermaidman's invisible car.

Who needs to carry a stool anyway? (Eco, you idiot they have a backpack capable of fitting 30 cars, 20 drumsets, 10 books and a Italy. It's the equivalent of a boy's pocket)

This is literally the truth, most of the jeans for women/girls have decor pockets, because.....they're useless I guess.

Nah I wasn't over yet. I just realized, I should have left this in the previous post, but it's alright. (Bonus question: Can you recognize the SIms behind the costume? 😎It's probably too obvious 😐)

Well, I heard this from comments on Youtube under the Simlished Song "Na Na Na" I would do the same, if I were able to sing.

So beautiful 😍 But my heart belongs to Xander Clavell with Ayesha Ansari 🤠🥺

OH, I read this theory on the Sims WIkia and actually......it would make sense, eventually? Or not eventually? My head also hurts and I think I wrote nonsense here, but there is a theory of TS2 Kaylynn being the daughter of Parker Langerak.

VIDEO CAPTION: Me picking a teenage girl to play with.

Alternate titles:

Me looking for a love interest

Me looking for a main superheroine protag

Me looking for someone to piss off

Me looking for someone to give the life she deserves

Me looking for a cameo to use in fanfics

Ok actually that was meant to be the last meme, but as this clip of Greg's diary is going around Instagram, etc. I have my outtake 😂 This was me after returning to Sims 3 after the pandemic started.

EDIT: I forgot these two pictures 🤣

That moment reminded me of specific scenes from iconic movies.

[ibelieveinghost]

5/20/24

for whatever reason i've been avoiding posting on tumblr these days i don't know, but i made myself coming back to post something.

needless to say a LOT had happened. i magically got my interview back, so another chance to try my luck this Friday. what's more unexpected is that i hit my head really, really hard: 1.5cm laceration, a ton of blood, and 5 stitches. god damn. been trying to explain to people how this whole injury thing happened and it's so funny... because i was just sitting around working on my laptop, and casually fell over the chair+landed my head on the sharpest corner in my room which is that one end of my bed frame... like who just did that?? sober??? the nurse straight up asked me if i was drinking and i was like... no madam i was submitting my resumes in a really serious manner...

anyway. as a result i can't get my hair washed for 3 days now, and won't be able to do so for another few days. so things have been literal hell lately. u just can't get much done w/ dirty hair!!!!

beside the interview(more like the very idea of having in soon constantly on my mind) that has been consuming me and the stupid ass head injury, i am doing...decent! not super motivated and forever sleepy, but able to get most things done and stayed positive through some really shitty days.

dunno if i mentioned it here yet, but i finally watched twin peaks. i made it to the first few episodes of season 2, but it was too creepy for me just the way i thought. i love it so much tho... in another life i wish i'm not this easily startled. had to slept with my night lamp on the night i watched S2E1... the scene at the very end............................................🥺

...guess i'll get back to the prep now. still a lot more to do, but this time there's enough time. okay! not another word! moving on! get something done before bed tonight!

spirits, gods, dear ancestors--help a good gal with her earthly duties this time please? getting this full time/all ENG position means the world to me right now... and i been working my ass off for this since last November.

（ok i went back to the last entry and reread my rant. fine, yes. ultimately, this is not what i want. but it is what i NEED. i need that job to stay, to set my foot on a path that lead me where i ultimately want to be! so yes, yes i dislike shinagawa-area and corporate culture with a passion, but i am 100% whole-heartedly wanting/begging to work for a year or 2 so i can get the whole visa concern out of the way.)

ok peace out! really need to work now

[mlmxreader]

Eeee! Hello, hello! Hope you'redoing well, my friend! OMG THE COLLECTION OF BABIES!!!! 😫🥹😭 They're so adorable, I absolutely cannot for my heart can only take so much of the cuteness!

Alright, these are for the "Want to know me better, send a number" asks, if you're still taking them:

5: Book/series I reread?

138: Do I believe in second chances?

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

107: Guilty pleasure?

212: Was I named after anyone?

216: Favourite fictional character?

215: What is the weirdest talent I have?

193: What motivates me?

191: What makes me the happiest?

192: What is “home” to me?

78: Early bird or night owl?

98: 3 things I love?

99: 3 things I hate?

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?

60: Pet peeve?

59: Afraid of heights?

41: Do I have any strange phobias?

39: Am I superstitious?

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in?

20: Favourite video games?

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song?

17: Pirates or ninjas?

6: Aliens or ghosts?

Take care and until next time, keep safe! (Will get to the Delaney fic, eventually, hoping I'll be able to get to it this coming weekend or the weekend after but I am so freaking excited to read about our babe James!!)

🖤🖤🖤

🐍anon

hi!!!!!!!!!! I am doing well, thank you - I've got work every day this week in the AM, with the exception of Thursday and Friday bc I'm doing double shifts but I've got Saturday and Sunday off, so that's good!

SIX babies!!! Hanzo is the only literal baby, he's only a couple of weeks old and he's 1.2cm so he's a TEENY baby 😭 teeny tiny baby scorpling 🥺

alright!!! let's go!!!

5: American Psycho, All Quiet on the Western Front and The Great Gatsby I tend to read more than once a year, so I'll go w them lmfao

138: it depends. if someone didn't mean any actual harm and they're willing to change and they're doing so ACTIVELY, then yes. but if it's bc of some form of bigotry (racism, transphobia, misogyny, homophobia, classism, ableism, sanism, islamophobia, antisemitism, etc)? no. get fucked.

150: getting tattoos and exotic animals lmao I love my reptilian and arachnid children and I love my tattoos

107: classic Monster!! I personally love Assault the best, but I can never say no to classic!

212: Llywelyn comes from the name Llywelyn ab Iorwerth, aka Llywelyn Fawr (Llewelyn the Great), a Welsh king; it's a chance to show off my culture and my heritage and my history that - for the most part - has been erased by the English.

216: definitely Aragorn. cannot lie. it's Aragorn

215: I have an odd talent for being able to calm down snakes, including wild ones, and getting them to chill out - which I discovered during college whilst working w a 10ft python who was really defensive, but it also happened at work bc we had a load of grass snakes and a few adders in the cat pens

193: spite

191: heavy metal!! you stick on some Sabaton and I'm happy as a pig in shit

192: home is safety. it's the wag of a dog's tail. it's acceptance unconditionally and it's unconditional support. home can be a friend, it can be a family member, it can be an animal.

78: some weird mix like a chronically tired raven

98: heavy metal, tattoos, reptiles

99: Englishmen, the English crown, Tories

65: LORD OF THE RINGS

62: yes!! I'm vegetarian and have been for... a long while lmfao

60: people who walk their reactive dogs off lead.

59: nope

41: nope, no phobias

39: yes and no; there's some superstitious beliefs that I hold that come from my culture, but I wouldn't say I 100% think they're real

25: Damian Lewis, Tom Hardy, Angela Bassett, Laverne Cox

20: rdr2!!

19: my alarm has been The Last Stand by Sabaton for 2 years now, so I always start my day w that

17: ninjas

6: ALIENS, YOU CANNOT TELL ME THOSE FUCKERS AREN'T REAL, I SAW THE US HEARING AND I CAN TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW ROSWELL'S INCIDENT IS LINKED TO LOS ALAMOS AND WHY. IT'S ALIENS.

until next time!!! (there's no rush!! I'm working on the next chapter as it is, so there's plenty of time lmfao)

[llycaons]

ep21 (pt 1): jyl the mvp!

oh god oh fuck I forgot how emotional the last one ended. jyl pulling wwx inside to get a look at him and everyone's crying 🥺

😭😭😭

this is so funny. jc what are you so worried about? your brother hearing that you looked for him for 3 months? which you did? he's so silly and emotionally constipated. that is a totally normal thing to do for your family

I remember ppl being SO mad at jgy for saying the same thing to nhs in fatal journey before a Mandarin speaker had to step in and be like 'that's actually a normal thing to say to someone grieving, he wasn't being rude or inconsiderate' which. jgy is so gifted with social graces, of COURSE he'd say the appropriate thing at that time

this is so dramatic lmao. I know how you die old man and it's pretty embarrassing

ah the dramatic look over the shoulder bc he misses his boy best friend who HE pushed away wwx you mess

literally shut the fuck up sect leader yao you would be dead and powerless without the protection of the jiang clan you owe your life and your clan to this family be polite

wwx saying this is very 😮 but it immediately cutting to jc is ALSO 😮 and I don't think its intentional

oh my sect sect leader ouyang???!!

ofc the lans get put in rooms that have a name like that

wwx getting sick of everyone there and just getting up and leaving. politically not great but he lives his truth. I think along with missing lwj he just got sick of the old sect leaders congratulating him for torturing and murdering a man, and then hounding him about his sword

jc I am so fucking proud of you I could cry

the kicker is that jc is for once saying the RIGHT thing, compared to his usual sarcasm and aggression and sneers. but wwx is the one in these episodes who's not cooperating. he's being deliberately contrary, vague, and disobedient. he's not playing nice with jc or the other sect leaders. and I can tell why politics is the last thing on his mind given the fact that he just pulled himself out of three months of utter hell and he's still traumatized, but it doesn't help. his defense mechanism of joking and dismissal to cover his severe trauma and his massive secrets doesn't make him look very good either. it's so sad bc it's all he can do though!

also this is a grade A eyeroll from jc here. impressive

do not break my heart like that wei wuxian

*cues the observation that wwx is wearing his robes in the way that corpses being prepared for burial are dressed*

it is very annoying when fans create content where wwx is unwilling/unable to meditate when 1. how the fuck do you think he formed his core in the first place and 2. it's clearly an important part of his process as a demonic cultivator as well

jyl is being so supportive and compassionate about chenqing in a way that literally nobody else is. she compliments it! she compares it to her mother's most powerful tool!

I think the other translation is 'to give a full account'. I think chenqing's name is really neat, I love reading analysis for it

kill me. and wwx's face after she says this...

she's like the only person here who halfway knows how to approach someone with trauma. express your love and support and concern but don't push them. allow them to tell you on their terms, in their own time. don't make it the only thing you talk about. don't make them have to ask not to talk about it. lwj gets a little better at this but it takes like 20 years

and who else says this!!! who else thanks him!!!! im going to cry

jc and wwx both take a great deal of comfort and guidance from jyl in these scenes - she's level-headed, compassionate, affectionate, caring, and gives solid advice that her brothers can act on. and she stands up for wwx in ways that jc can't or won't. love her

literally shut the fuck up jzx I know how you die

see jc!!! this is what you SHOULD say to those assholes who won't leave you alone and who question your leadership! THAT'S what's called showing a united front!

on the other hand, given how things progress I don't doubt the jins would invent some pretext to attack the jiangs if jc didn't go along with them so it's not like simply saying this would have solved things. but man, this was a good deflection

[merakicharm]

Rohas and Lizvel

~Why the princess pretends to be crazy

Ok so lemme just shed an ocean of tears for this angel boi.

Like, i can't even-

He went through SO much for his sister. He had to act like his mother was a stranger to him, and call another woman by the term reserved for his birthgiver. He bore it so well, with absolutely no complaint. And then, contrary to how elder siblings find younger ones a pain, he loved that baby Lizvel so so so much (the fl)

Rohas must've been devasted when he saw his own mother getting killed in front of him, but even despite the fear n tears his love for his sister kept him moving forward. He brought her up so preciously. In that hellish palace he strived hard to keep the smile intact on his sister's face.

To the very end, that was all he cared about. Truly a gem of a man. Zikel finding it out and using it on him was basically cornering him. But even then, rather than back down, he chose to be the wall that would protect her and the cushion to ease her fall.

Literally.

I still remember reading the part where Zikel figures out the connection between the ointment in Lizvel's room and the stock of ointments in Rohas's room. 🥺😭

The flowers from the crown she gave him while acting crazy, withered, shrivelled up and stinking and mushed up, but still there in the vase. The way he rushed into the room where Zikel and Lizvel were alone as soon as he heard her cries. His decision to end the game for the throne by killing everyone and then himself so that Lizvel could live. Him climbing the walls of his sister's palace to make sure she was safe after killing some prince. Telling her to smile, because that was the only place where he found some amount of solace. His feeble attempts with his beaten, cut and bruised body to protect Lizvel from Zickel inside that cavernous room. How even in that frail helpless state his top priority was not himself, but again and again and again, Lizvel. His happiness when he saw that Lizvel had her own power, power that could protect her. Him finding peace at last in the thought that finally his sister would be safe, without him having to raise his sword and smear blood again.

Maybe that's why his expression when he's at the threshold of death is one of content.

The other one thing that broke me apart was the number of times Liz was this close to killing Rohas. Imagine the horror of her killing Rohas and then later finding out that he was her actual brother from her own mother and the tryant father? She would have been destroyed with guilt.

I wish she would take up the ML's offer and keep him alive. Cause in my mind, giving up her soul or whatever is nothing compared to what her brother has done for her for 20 long years of his life.

I hate Hellar and ML for placing a bet over her like she's some kind of auction piece, and I hate Zikel for turning Rohas's life into a living hell. The only things that softened me up a bit as of now, is the ML slowly beginning to fall in love with Lizvel and realise that she too had her dreams and goals and most of all, a mind of her own. And the fact that there's nothing Zikel can do to hurt Lizvel now try as he might.

I am literally just reading the manhwa to see Rohas open his eyes and get some quality brother sister bonding scenes. I do not care about the romance in this manhwa cuz it's just if you let me use you, I'll let myself be used. And sorry to say this, but that's not love. It's called trading.

Or to be more precise, bartering.

[morethanwords0475]

June TC Challenge

1. Do you and your TC have any hobbies or interests in common? If so, do you talk about them together often?

Not really, I guess we have a shared interest in poetry? And we sometimes talk about it when he's helping with my writing during his afterschool activity.

2. Does your TC ever talk about their childhood/teenage years? If yes, what were they like and what sort of childhood did they have?

Yeahh T likes to include his own experiences while teaching and it's super cute. He wasn't that good of a student (which was surprising), with strict but loving parents and a lot of siblings.

3. If you could choose one from the following from your TC, what would you choose? An hour alone with them to chat about what you want, a hug, a present, a handwritten note or then complimenting you in front of the class?

An hour to chat, ending in a hug 🥺

4. Do you think you’ll buy them a leaving gift? If so, what are you thinking of getting them?

Definitely, but I still have no idea what to get and I'm running out of time!!! Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

5. When and where did you first meet them?

It must have been somewhere in school when he first came a few years ago, but I really can't remember.

6. What was your first impression of them?

Can't remember :/

7. Do they give out much homework in their classes? What type of homework do they commonly give out?

He doesn't give a lot, usually it would be like reading a few pages and making notes, or written tasks like mini-essays or essay plans. Anything that involves writing (or speaking 💀) I would take literal decades to complete because I want to impress him so badly.

8. Do they talk a lot in their classes or do they do more activities?

Depending on what's being taught, T usually lectures during the lessons. We rarely have activities that take longer than half the lesson, which is great for me because I get to hear him teach more.

9. What’s their funniest moment this far?

Oh this is very hard, I think most of us would say it's when he performed last week, that was both amazing and hilarious at the same time, but he has so many more extremely funny moments.

10. What’s their cutest moment so far?

I'm not sure what counts as cute? It's adorable when he can't get technology to work or when he's bad at maths, and when he makes a mistake and quietly reprimands himself. His genuine laughs are super cute as well.

11. Have you gone on a field trip with them yet? If so, to where?

That was how our story started - I won't say where to but he took us on a trip to another country for an event, it was so long ago but I still treasure the memories.

12. Have you got any selfies with them? If yes, where were they taken?

Unfortunately not, and I will probably never get one.

13. Do you usually prefer older people or is your TC an exception?

I definitely don't prefer old older people (no offence to anyone here at all), but T is closer to the higher end of the age range of the TCs I've had. And yes, I've preferred people who are 10-20 years older than me for quite long now, T is not an exception.

14. Are you and your TC close? Do you talk to them often?

I mean I would say we are quite close, at least by the standards of how he usually interacts with students (definitely not as close as many people here are with their TCs teach me your ways). He recognises that I am a good student and I have involved myself with him so much - being in his afterschool activity, writing the essay he's mentoring me on, etc. I am always looking for reasons to talk to him.

15. Do they have any pets?

Yes, they have a dog, I've seen her in real life twice and she's adorable.

16. Is there anything about them you wish you could change?

I do wish he was a bit closer to students (i.e. me), we get to spend so much more time with some of our other teachers and talk to them, then maybe I could have had a bit more with T before he left.

17. Is there a particular song that reminds you of them?

Crazy in Love and Hypochondriac.

18. Do you have dreams about them? If so, what is the best dream you’ve had about them so far?

I dream about T all the time, the most intimate was of him and I sitting side by side on a table, his arm around my waist and me leaning into him. I have also dreamt of holding his hand and spending time with him at school events.

19. What sort of girlfriend/boyfriend/partner do you think they’ll be?

I often imagine his dynamic with S and he just seems like an ideal partner - the few details they have each separately disclosed support it. He must be so loving and gentle and romantic (but not in a grand way, in the smaller details).

20. What’s their sense of humour like? Can they make you laugh?

It's hard to describe but I really love his humour, it's not deliberate but funny on a personal level if that makes sense. T isn't like the typical 'funny teachers' we have and his jokes are more subtle, yet it always makes us laugh in lessons.

21. Are they usually your ‘type?’ If not, what attracted you to them?

It has been too long that I can't tell if he fits my type or if I fit my type to him, but academic intelligence, good looks, humour, care for others, and generally upright morals do generally appeal to me.

22. Are they more of an introvert or an extrovert?

For the most part, I would say extrovert. Especially this year, with his homeroom class and us being based closer to his classroom, I see him alone a lot less. He complained of online learning and told us how much he missed seeing his friends and colleagues and interacting with students. Whereas he also eats lunch behind the closed doors of his classroom every day, alone, and I never really know why.

23. What is their classroom like? Do they put a lot of pictures up?

T's classroom has - or, rather, had - a few posters on the walls with quotes, but mostly it's revision work his students have done for the books they were studying. Our class decorated almost an entire wall after our first year with him.

24. Has anyone in your life caught on to your crush for them?

I have only told a few of my closest friends and some of them were not that surprised to find out. One or two other people I knew had also occasionally hinted at the possibility, which scared me to death.

25. What caused you to realise that you have a crush on them?

He took us on a school trip abroad and was with us during one of the events, I suddenly realised that I was constantly looking his way and admiring his beautiful face, which was when I knew.

26. How long have you had a crush on them now?

That would have been nearly three years ago. Big sigh.

27. What is their body type?

T is very fit but not overtly muscular, his shoulders are wide and he has a sturdy back, forming an inverted triangle down to his slender waist.

28. Do they have any school events they especially enjoy? How about ones they don’t like?

Unsurprisingly, he was usually pretty invested in the sport events (mainly for S I assume), but whenever there were compulsory whole-school House events he would also contribute. I guess teachers are just not given as much liberty to show their dislike for any events.

29. How long have they been teaching for?

Around ten years, give or take. T cited this number with me when he told me that he had only ever taught one other student as good as I was in English in his ten years of teaching.

30. Are they younger (20s-30s) or older (40+)?

Younger, which I am grateful for.

[writertitan]

This is super out of left field and doesn’t have anything to do with your writing, but tbh I’m kind of ashamed to talk about this with anyone I know in real life. In your return post you said that you were able to sort of get your life together, and I’m wondering how the heck you did that 😭. I’ve essentially been unemployed and back living with my parents for the past..god almost 2 years now, and I’m getting to the point where I feel like I’m losing any possible skills that could get me employed. I got a bullshit degree that really didn’t teach me much, and small freelance jobs here and there, but I just don’t feel passionate about anything anymore. I see all these managerial, tech, finance jobs that I know literally nothing about and can’t even get a rejection email from 90% of my applications! Idk if I’m venting or asking for advice, maybe both, but I feel really alone and I know I’m making my parents worried. -sad anon

Oh my sweet cherub 🥺 I am MORE than happy to give advice or lend an ear on here! You are welcome to come over and just vent or ask for some words of encouragement or seek out advice whenever you want. How about I give you a little bit of everything for now?

I 100% have gone through EVERYTHING you’re going through now. You are not alone in your experience, but I so feel for you and I’m sorry you feel as though you can’t open up to your friends or family in real life. I was the same way! Still kind of am!! But I love that you’re saying all this to someone, and I’m VERY proud that you’re still out there trying to start your life. It is extremely hard to talk about, especially when you feel like everyone else has it all together or is getting it together. I’m going to tell you that everyone has at least one part of their life that they haven’t figured out yet, and this is literally inevitable if you’re younger than 35 (which I’m assuming you are but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). And even after 35, I’m sure it’s a whole other ballpark. Some people are just so good at hiding their struggles.

It’s okay that you’re living with your parents! It’s okay you haven’t found a suitable job yet! Let me tell you, the same exact thing happened to me after I graduated college. Didn’t have a job lined up, got a degree in a field that is so incredibly broad that it’s hard to pin down where it would be most useful, and went back to live with my parents. It was about the same time frame you’re describing now before I found a “big girl” job and started my adult life. It will happen for you and you will probably have the same thought as me when things start moving forward: “I don’t know why I was so worried.” Just remember you are so YOUNG. You do NOT need to have it all figured out when you literally just got here. My heart just hurts for you because I know what it’s like to lose your passion at a young age. It sucks so much and there is so much fear about your future. We’re definitely ingrained to strive for instant success nowadays, but I am encouraging you to take your time and be patient with yourself.

This last round of me getting my shit together was a little different, as a gal moving into her late 20s instead of her early 20s, but the theme is still roughly the same. Just forget about the rest of the world and what it expects of you, even just for five minutes. Be completely selfish, even just for five minutes, and think about yourself and what you want and what you’re willing/able to do to get what you want. I have a habit (I think most of us do) of constantly thinking of other people when making decisions about my life. Don’t do that!! It’s easier said than done and it took me like 6 months instead of just 5 minutes to continue being selfish and actively not letting other people influence my decisions, but I am in a much better place because I prioritized myself. I want you to try that method and see if it works. It’s often the most overlooked or even counterintuitive things that end up working for people.

You aren’t alone and you’re doing very well for yourself even if you don’t see it that way yet. This will be funny and great life experience in about 5 years, trust me. But right now, it’s okay to be sad. Please don’t bury those feelings! You and I can brainstorm on how to get you out of your funk, or I can also cheer from the sidelines, literally whatever you want. Just remember you have people on your side. I, a total internet stranger, am 100% rooting for your happiness and won’t let you be alone in your feelings. You deserve to be so happy! And guess what? You WILL be happy, because you want to be.

[gunsatthaphan]

tagged by the bae @teh-ohaew thank you!!! 🥺🥺🥺 - I believe I already did this a few months ago but oh well. I’m bored so here we go ~

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? green.

2. Name a food you never eat. feta cheese. I puke just thinking about it djkfhsd 3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? literally always hot. I rarely get cold, no matter what the temperature is sjdkhf 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? handed some papers to my coworker.  5. What’s your favorite candy bar? snickers. always a bop.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes! i’ve been to a basketball game and a few soccer games! 7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “you’re welcome” to my coworker after handing her the papers lol.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? banana and melon. chocolate ain’t bad either. 9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water. 10. Do you like your wallet? I do! I’m currently using the one my dad got my mom for her birthday but she didn’t like it djkfhsd so now I’m using it lmao. 11. What is the last thing you ate? currently nomming some grapes. 12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope. 13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? oof.... I think a soccer game on tv? 14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? there’s.....different flavors? I only know sweet and salty lmao. But salty popcorn is the grossest thing ever so,,,, sweet it is. 15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my cousin.

16. Ever been camping? yes, but only when I was very young. I haven’t been in like 15 years lmao. 17. Do you take vitamins? I used to. but not anymore. 18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope. 19. Do you have a tan? I WISH. 20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? WOW....... I struggled with this the last time too lol. I’m gonna say Pizza. 21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? no. 22. What color socks do you usually wear? black or white. 23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? constantly. my bank account is suffering dsjkfhd 24. What terrifies you? deep waters 25. Look to your left, what do you see? my phone and a notebook.

26. What chore do you hate most? like household-wise? doing the dishes. just...nah sis. I’d rather clean windows or do laundry for the rest of my life lmao. 27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? troye sivan lmao. 28. What’s your favorite soda? i rarely drink soda but I guess I like a good coke lol. 29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive-thru ONLY baby. I would NEVER go inside I would die of embarrassment. 30. What’s your favorite number? don’t have one. 31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my coworker.

32. Favorite meat? chicken. 33. Last song you listened to? Born to the Night - Ava Max

34. Last book you read? I don’t read lol. 35. Favorite day of the week? FriGay!!! lmao 36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? no??? tf 37. How do you like your coffee? black with a little bit of milk. I also like Lattes though. It depends on my need for caffein I guess lmao. 38. Favorite pair of shoes? don’t have one. I just wear the ones that fit the weather lol. 39. Time you normally get up? 6am when I have to work, 11am-ish when I don’t. 40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? I love the aesthetics of sunrises but you won’t catch me admiring that shit at 6am lmao so - sunsets. 41. How many blankets on your bed? usually one, sometimes 2 but only when it’s like -20° 42. Describe your kitchen plates. white and boring lol. 43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. clean cuz I can’t stand a dirty kitchen. Also not very big.

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? red wine is the only kind of alcohol that doesn’t make me puke lol so there. 45. Do you play cards? no. 46. What color is your car? lilac/purple. 47. Can you change a tire? do I LOOK like---?? 48. Your favorite state or province? in my country? I guess the north w/ the beach and stuff <3 49. Favorite job you’ve had? editor 

Thanks for tagging me!! & even though I already did this it was fun to do it again 😍 lol I’m not tagging anyone bc I realize these can be annoying lmao so I’m hereby tagging everyone who’s in the mood!! ❤️

xxx

[swarthwhore]

soft asks ALL pwease 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 - dex

oh jeez oof thats a lot

but im nothing if not a slut for attention, so let’s go:

what song makes you feel better? Oh man there’s actually a lot of songs that make me feel good... Ninja Sex Party’s covers of Heat of the Moment, Photograph, Always Something There To Remind Me, Jump, their songs Danny Don’t You Know, Orgy for One, First Date, FYI I Wanna F Your A, Eating Food in the Shower, Road Trip, The Decision Part 2, and the songs Shine, Boop, Smile, Let’s Just Live, Like Morning Follows Night, Lusus Naturae, Not Fall In Love With You, and Bad Luck Charm from the RWBY soundtracks

what’s your feel-good movie? I don’t really....have one? like i don’t watch/rewatch a lot of movies so i don’t rlly have one i go back to to make me feel better

what’s your favorite candle scent? literally anything like fall related; pumpkin, apple, spices, sign me the FUCK up

what flower would you like to be given? idk.... i’ve always liked tuplis but im also partial to dianthus bc of a magic treehouse book but also no ones given me flowers before

who do you feel most you around? not my parents, that’s for sure... maybe @raneinspane02?

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical). “say three” “three physical and three non-physical” 3=3+3? 

what color brings you peace? pastel pink and blue (mostly pink)

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. @raneinspane02 @idkijustliketofangirl @makeliznotwar

what calms you down? riding in a car. i will fall asleep during a 20 minute car ride if i’m not driving

what’s something you’re excited for? RWBY VOLUME 7 SOUNDTRACK IN 4 DAYS AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

what’s your ideal date? aw shit i answered this like 2 years ago but i dont really think it’s changed: walking along a wintry forest path with lanterns hung along the sides while this softly plays in the background and eventually we reach a cabin in the woods and cuddle under a blanket by a fire while watching the snow fall outside, then in the morning the cabin is on a hill overlooking a large field covered in an unbroken blanket of snow that leads down to a valley between mountains covered in a pine forest that’s alll finely dusted with snow and god i miss winter

how are you? so tired. fucking stayed up later than i meant to last night, woke up at 6:30am to go pee (my alarm’s set for 8), went back to bed, and then woke up at 10:14am

what’s your comfort food? steak. love that bitch

favorite feel-good show? idk.... probably one of game grumps’ series like stick fight or kirby/grumps dream course

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word. 🥺 @raneinspane02 daddy 👉🏼 @idkijustliketofangirl hard-working (hyphens count as one, right?) 👈🏼 @jmojulia chill

compliment the person who sent you this number. always so funny and fucking good at art

fairy lights or LED lights? fairyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

do you still love stuffed animals? yeah but like not as much as i used to

most important thing in your life? probably my phone??

what do you want most in the world right now? motivation to do things i wanna do

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be? gender stuff! look it up!

what would you say to your future self? i mean what. like what could i say that i wont remember in the future?

favorite piece of clothing? i have this blue LoZ shirt my friend got me at the nintendo store in new york i really like, but also my friend and i switched our major shirts bc i wanted a women’s but got mens and she got womens but wanted mens and thats p good

what’s something you do to de-stress? viddy gaem (as for specifics? mayb like smash or monster hunter)

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.) i think playlist is best bc im constantly listening to music, but homemeade cards are a close second bc i have a lot from since like freshman year of high school that i keep bc theyre good

what movie would you want to live in? the only one i can think of is “your name.” but like....odds are it wouldn’t be really different lmao

which character would you want to be? idk, either taki or mitsuha

hugs or hand-holding? hand-holdingggggggggggggggg

morning, afternoon or night? late night, early morning. like just when there’s no one around and everything is quiet

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)? being comfortable enough to use the bathroom lmao

[kindahoping4forever]

Happy New Year!

I wasn’t planning on making a New Year’s post but I'm emo rn and scrolling past a few on my dash made me want to say a quick something. 2019 was a weird year for me. It started off bad and then kind of tapered off and peaked around a dull meh (and that got kind of bad again the past couple weeks). Maybe in the future I’ll see it as transitional but right now I can’t see what I could possibly be transitioning into so it just kind of feels like a throwaway year.

The honest truth is being on this website was my favorite part of 2019. Loving this band is my favorite thing to do, I would’ve been doing it regardless but it is so much more fun and rewarding doing it while being surrounded by other people who feel the same way. At the beginning of the year, I would come here for fun and distraction. But now at the end of the year, in addition to the fun and distraction I’m also lucky enough to get to engage with people, whether it be the friends I am so grateful to know or reading people’s tags or comments on my posts or the occasional ask. This is honestly all I wanted when I started this blog just over a year ago and I could not be more thankful for the experience I’ve had so far.

So first off, if you’ve sent in an ask, reblogged, followed or interacted with me in any way this year, thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea what it’s meant to me. (And if we haven’t interacted, let’s! If you’ve seen my posts, you know I’m always down to overreact to anything and everything lol)

Next up, my GC crew: Ashton’s Queens (@irwinvalentines​ @starwarsmccaffrey​  @babylon-corgis​ @ashtonangst​ @finesos​ @calumhood-imagines​ ) and formerly 5SOS Angels now 5SOS Sexy Bitches 😂 (@calumamongmen  @beefstickirwin  @dontdoitluke @myloverboyash @calsophat @bumblebet-20 @burncrashbromance ) I love talking with y’all and my year would not have been the same without you.

@ashtonsunshine​ @sexgodashton​ @cxddlyash​ @cashtonasfuck​ @h0tsos​ I love seeing you on my dash and I love talking to you even more, let's please do that more often in 2020.

Lastly I specifically need to thank the people who I talk to just about every damn day, whose messages I stay up way too late responding to and yet am still thrilled to wake up and see more from. (My insomnia + friends in different time zones = the real OTP of 2019)

@wastethen8 Ayla, I can’t even remember the last time we talked about the boys, now we just share our lives and I think that’s awesome! Thank you for messaging me and becoming my first fandom friend, almost one year ago now!  🥺

@glitter-cal Jen, it's been so much fun getting to know each other and legit one of my favorite memories of 2019 was getting your frantic messages after your Ashton moment at Jingle Ball. (I'm not over it yet, are you? 💪🏼) I'm looking forward to SO much more Scientific Research in this coming year!

@pxrxmoore BETH so much of my time is spent screaming at and with you that your name autocorrects to all caps. These past few months wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without our daily breakdowns over Bro Things and 🥳🥳. I love you (even if your choice to bring back Coachella!SOS still haunts us to this day) and I can't wait to meet you and Lucy this year! May 2020 be the year we finally answer the question: who needs sticks?

@feliznavidaddycal Rach, our bond was forged in thirst (#CalNipplePiercings2020) and has quickly evolved into one of the loveliest, most supportive and understanding friendships I've had the pleasure of knowing. I love messaging you and knowing you'll understand exactly how I feel whether it be about doctors being the worst, bodies being dumb or any of the COUNTLESS Cashton concepts we kill each other with on the daily. Literally as I’m typing this you’re ruining my life on two different social media platforms and I could not be happier (or more distressed) lmao.

@cal-puddies I've never been more happy that I overshare in my tags because that's how this wild ride started. And then I Kool-Aid Man'd my way into your messages and neither of our sleep patterns were ever the same. 😂 There's no one I'd rather stay up all night spinning elaborate headcanons with and you're honestly still my favorite writer. Here's to a new year of lane checks, murder blurbs and discovering even more random things we have in common. The picture says it all. 🤜🏼🤛🏼