#way better than original boys over flowers

[sp4ceboo]

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?: Feyd-Rautha x Reader

A/N: ty taylor swift i attempted to base this fic on your song but then i divulged as normal

tw: 18+, smut, p in v, inkpie, oral (both recieving), sub feyd by which i mean feyd is DOMMED, spit, degradation + praise, one spank kinda, swearing, lil bit of crying, mention of evil baron activities so sa + pedophilia, tiny mention of cheating but none actually happens, lmk if there's anything else bc lbr there probably is i just forgot it

wc: 3.9k

Feyd-Rautha has gravely underestimated you.

It is true that you are not strong in terms of Harkonnen definitions, but you expected a man destined to father the Kwisatz Haderach to be able to see past that. What was that the Bene Gesserit were saying about superior genetics? You don’t see even a glimpse of that in his frosty gaze when he regards you - he looks at you as if you’re a delicate vase that may shatter in the lightest of breezes. He thinks he needs to fear breaking you.

He misses how you miss nothing.

You are not Bene Gesserit; you are merely one of their pawns, a genetic machination produced from centuries of manipulations and deceptions, but you can read a man better than the majority of their number.

The seething jealousy in the clenching off Glossu Rabban’s fists is like a monster sinking its venom laced fangs into his heart: starkly evident to you - as evident as the barely repressed, parasitic fear of inadequacy that lurks like a second beast within the first. Just the same, the gazes the Baron sends your husband do not escape you. Nor does the caged, wild look that washes over him whenever you leave his uncle’s chambers: the look of a man who inside is still a boy, relief washing over him that he has left unscathed and untouched for another time.

Even more nuanced than that, you see the vulnerability within Feyd-Rautha. He craves to be loved, the way he should have been as a child, when instead he was desired; all this at an age where the most he should have been doing was playing with carved wooden toys at his parent’s feet.

He believes no one can see the last, soft sliver of his heart that he’s fought to preserve, that wants nothing but to have someone to be vulnerable with, just because he’s buried it so deep inside of him that sometimes even he doesn’t think it’s there any more.

But you see it.

You see beneath it too, to a place that he himself is not fully aware of. A place where he hates who he has become - a wild, savage creature, bleeding from wounds that do not seem to close up, slipping in its own blood when no one can see.

It’s from here, from this place, that the urge to preserve you somehow originates. He thinks you are a flower whose petals will easily be crushed in his heavy, calloused hands, and he is wrong; in a strange way it endears you to him, that he believes that he is too rough to hold you. You do not think it is quite love - not yet, at least, it is only the third month of your marriage - but when you see him fighting to not be the beast that he is before you in an effort to spare you, something that is not just pity stirs in your heart.

You can hear him now, pacing, cursing under his breath in the antechambers. Sometimes he sleeps there, on the narrow sofa, and you’ve come to realise it is those nights when he wants you most. Aside from your wedding night, he has made no other attempts to produce an heir, and you find his restraint valiant, but stupid.

He could try as hard as he liked; he would not get anywhere close to breaking you.

Rising from your seat on the small, ornate stool at the vanity, you push open the door to the antechamber and take a step into the room. Feyd pauses his pacing with his back to you, and you can see the tension in his shoulders and the rigid way he holds his body before he turns around to face you. His pupils are dilated, his eyes dark, and you watch him regard you with something too untethered to be restraint.

‘Am I keeping you awake, wife?’

You shake your head. ‘I had not retired yet.’

You know he expects you to explain why you’ve interrupted him, but you remain quiet - your silence is as much of a tool as your words. He doesn’t speak either, but his eyes tell you enough; they do not leave your frame, hungry, torrid, and his fingers twitch as if they ache to slip you out of the simple shift you wear to sleep and touch you everywhere, to explore the curves and dips of your body.

Tilting your head, you smirk. ‘If you wish to give me your heirs, husband, I would advise another method that differs from staring one into me.’

‘You don’t know what I want,’ he growls, but his face tells other tales.

Stepping forward, you reach out to him but he backs away. Still, the sheer thirst in his eyes sears away at you, even as his actions fight against it, his fingers closing on the doorknob. His hands are steady, his shoulders too, but the tightness in his muscles betrays him as always. Usually, you’d let him go now, but tonight you wish to see how far he will let you push him before he pushes back, so you snare his forearm in your fingers, tugging at him as he turns the knob.

He doesn’t look at you. ‘Don’t test me.’

You smile, cloyingly so. ‘Why not?’

Lightly, you trace your fingers down his chest, straightening the fabric of his black shirt while you gaze thoughtfully up at him through your lashes, lips curving upwards at the indecision in his eyes. He fights it, wrestles with the burning need, but in the end, he prevails, transforming it into a streak of anger that colours his voice as he tears himself from your grasp, recoiling as if your touch ignites pain within him - and maybe it is pain, that he wants you so but fears to indulge himself.

‘Get away from me.’

Feyd-Rautha does not give you a second to do so, because he is the one haring down the dimly lit corridor, his jaw tight, nails digging into his palms. Truthfully, you have never seen him move that fast, not even in the arena, and it almost makes you laugh - the great na-Baron fleeing from his wife and his own lecherous thoughts.

Maybe you did not win this round of tug of war, but he has asked something of you - to get away from him. Over the next few weeks, you follow this to the letter, avoiding him like the plague; you do not interrupt his pacing in the antechambers, nor do you haunt the bedroom like you normally do, asking him questions that he cannot answer. Feyd-Rautha is sensitive to change and you know he will seek the reason for it.

There is a barely cloaked intensity in his eyes when he finally corners you, and under it, you detect recognition: he sees that you are not who he thought you were, and he sees that you are not so different from him - always observing, always planning, and so, mind shatteringly hungry.

You were just dropping by the bed chambers to gather some of your clothes. The night before, you’d relocated yourself to one of the guest bedrooms - you could sense Feyd’s resolve cracking, and you knew that this would break it for certain: coming into his chambers to find them empty, wifeless, your side of the bed damningly cold. Jealousy is clear in his eyes as he backs you against the vanity, filling you with a rising sense of triumph.

‘What has caused this change in your behaviour, wife?’

You raise a brow, faking confusion. ‘What change? I would argue it is your behaviour that has changed, Feyd, you who can barely stand to be in a room alone with me.’

He snarls. ‘Who were you with last night?’

‘I thought you wanted me to get away from you,’ you reply, keeping up your pretence a little longer. ‘I slept in the guest quarters. You do not reciprocate any of my advances.’

‘Advances?’ He echoes, incredulous. ‘You taunt me, wife. It’s like you want me to break you.’

Cocking your head, you regard him coolly for a moment, letting some of the sharpness of your unmasked gaze leak through, letting him see the calculation in your eyes - you see the wariness it incites in him as he realises again that you are not who he thinks you are. Wordless, you lean in close to him, bringing your face to his, hovering there.

And then you let your arm drop and make a swipe for the knife at his belt.

Fast as a viper, he catches your wrist in your fingers, but you smile, challenge in your eyes as you bring his second blade to his neck. You’d slipped it out while he was distracted with your other hand, and he blinks at the cold press of it to his skin.

‘That’s the problem, isn’t it?’ You murmur. ‘You’re not scared of me, you’re scared of breaking me. Who’s afraid of little old me, huh? No one is, Feyd.’

‘They should be,’ he whispers, and when you meet his gaze, it sets you alight.

‘Indeed,’ you reply softly, letting your lower lip brush his.

As he kisses you, his hands seizing your face and locking you to him, you hook his knife’s blade in the collar of his shirt and drag it down, slicing the fabric until it flutters to the floor. Pulling away, you take him in - the moonlight planes of his sculpted chest, the broadness of his shoulders, his roiling, keen gaze. This man whets your appetite in the darkest kinds of ways: you cannot wait to ruin him.

Absently, you trace the outline of the tent in his pants with the tip of the knife blade. A breathy noise leaves him, and he freezes as if he can feel the cold kiss of the metal against his skin; you laugh, delighted that he is so mouldable in your hands.

‘Get on your knees,’ you command, seating yourself on the end of the bed.

It’s captivating, his lack of hesitation as he follows your orders. He sits back on his heels, looking up at you, and you can tell that he’s letting you see him like this, you can tell that if he didn’t want you to have him like this, you wouldn’t, but still, you reach out, gently skimming his shoulder with your fingertips.

‘All you have to do is say, and I will stop,’ you say.

He dips his chin. ‘I do not think I’ll have to.’

You smirk, something savage and powerful and thrillingly depraved rearing its head inside you, awakened by the sight of the na-Baron kneeling at your feet. That will be his last coherent sentence tonight.

Pausing, making him wait, you lean down a little, inspecting his features, the ardour in his eyes. He looks at you as if you hold the universe in your hands, as if you hung the stars in his sky, as if you are a  goddess, and he wants nothing but to worship you until he is expended.

You spit on him.

It lands on his cheek, and his eyes widen a fraction. A shudder wracks his body, and he simply stares up at you, breathing heavy, before slowly, his lips part, and he sticks out his tongue, his request evident. You grab his jaw, squeezing so that he opens up wider, and spit in his mouth - the low groan that leaves him as he swallows is fucking delectable.

His cock twitches in his pants when you pick up the knife. Tracing the blade over the shell of his ear, over his cheekbone and over his lips, you marvel at the way he holds still, awaiting what you’ll inflict on him next like a good little toy.

When the metal reaches his jaw, you nick the skin, drinking up his sharp intake of breath and the clench of his fists as the blood trickles down the column of his throat; you catch the droplet of crimson on your tongue, licking a careful stripe up his neck, grinning when you catch his lips in a kiss and he trembles at the taste of his own blood. Feyd is greedy, his tongue brushing against yours as he leans up into your touch, the way his mouth works against yours hot, fervent, pleading.

Planting a palm to his sternum, you push him back, chuckling when he strains to follow you, eyes glazed, lips swollen. You spot a streak of red and swipe your thumb over his lower lip, wiping it off before standing.

‘Get up, strip, and get on the bed,’ you bid him, pulling your own shift over your head.

Feyd scrambles to follow your orders, yanking his pants down, and you take your time to admire his muscle sheathed body; strength ripples beneath his skin, a sweet dichotomy to his weeping cock, rock hard and flushed rosy. He halts his movements, as if he’s pinned down by your appraising gaze.

‘For whom do you wait, husband?’

As he turns to get onto the bed, he’s a little too slow and you swat at his ass. A choked sound leaves him, and you laugh at the way his knees almost buckle. Feyd’s ears run red when he lies down on the mattress, and you straddle his thighs, sneering at the way he twists his fingers in the sheets, squirming beneath you.

‘Pathetic.’

You don’t give him time to respond, instead wrapping your fingers around his cock and pumping up and down fast, and he gasps at your rough touch, his back arching and his hands coming up to touch you - you wave them off you, meeting his eyes.

‘No touching,’ you intone, the hint of warning in your voice enough to render him obedient.

This time, you take his cock head in your mouth. He’s so fucking sensitive, reacting as if the sweep of your thumb down the underside of him and the slide of your tongue over him is mind shattering; it doesn’t take you long to get him teetering at the edge of his orgasm, just for you to pull away at the last moment.

His thigh jolts, weak pleas of your name leaving his lips, gripping the sheets so hard you wonder if they’ll rip. Again, you take him in your mouth, deeper, one hand dipping to play with his balls; you revel in the wretched sound that he makes when you hollow your cheeks around him, your teeth grazing up his length. You toy with him until you think he’s moments from breaking, until he’s writhing upon the sheets, face contorted in pleasure loaded with sweet, sweet agony.

‘Please let me come,’ he whimpers, voice cracking, the look in his eyes crazed, pitiful. ‘Please.’

You decide to give it to him, jerking him brutally fast until he comes; it hits him like a tidal wave - his eyes roll back in his skull, his body tensing, rigid and impossibly taut before he goes boneless, a broken cry of your name on his lips as he spills all over his stomach. A single, ecstatic tear slides down his cheek as his orgasm seizes him, snatching him up and shaking him like a ragdoll.

Lingering at his side, you wait until he’s come down from his high before getting up to retrieve a damp cloth from the bathroom, perching on the bed beside him and cleaning up his come, pressing kisses to the surprisingly soft skin of his hips. One wavering hand comes to rest in your hair, and you glance up at him, biting back a smug grin at the dazed look in his eyes.

‘Feeling okay?’

He nods.

‘Words,’ you chide.

‘Y - yes, na-Baroness. Better than okay.’

You raise a brow at that. You did not specify for him to call  you anything, so this is all his doing; he fidgets beneath your gaze, and you note that he’s growing hard again, his cock stiffening between his thighs.

‘Can I…’ He begins, but trails off, thinking better of it.

‘No, little na-Baron,’ you reply coyly. ‘Tell me what you desire.’

His eyes scorch you with their yearning. ‘I want to taste you, na-Baroness.’

You smile. ‘As you wish.’

You lean back against the pillows, letting your legs fall open for him. It’s somewhat comical, the way his eyes widen as he sees your slick cunt, and he swallows harshly - you can almost sense his mouth watering. Carefully, reverently, almost, he nudges your knees over his wide shoulders, bringing his face close to your pussy, admiring you. It’s as if he’s testing himself, waiting to see how long it takes for him to break and taste you.

Lurching forward, Feyd groans, low and deep and right against your clit when he laps at your heat, quickly becoming insatiable as his tongue moves masterfully at the apex of your legs, laving over your clit and curving in and out of you. Bolts of pleasure spear through your body, fierce like crackling lightning at the eye of a storm - he is everything to you in this moment. He shatters you, breaking you and mending you anew.

As he brings you closer, your body begins to shake and your legs close around his head; you suffocate him with your thighs, and you can tell he lives for it from the way he fervently grips your ass in his large hands, kneading the flesh and moaning into your pussy.

Something pulls tight within you, deliciously so, and you cry his name in warning, fingers curling around the base of his neck to hold him still as your hips buck, rutting into his face. Dimly, you can see him grinding into the mattress as you fuck yourself on his tongue - the chafe of his nose against your clit makes you shatter, and you fall apart for him with a ragged cry, nails digging into his shoulders.

You’re still coming down from it when Feyd begins to lap at you again, dutifully cleaning you up, and you twitch with the slight overstimulation, hooking a finger under his chin to see his eyes: his gaze is loaded with the heat of a thousand suns, and yet somehow it is also bleary, drunk. A laugh escapes you, and you tug at his hand, encouraging him to lie beside you.

‘Good boy,’ you hum as he nuzzles into your touch. You can feel him achingly hard against your thigh, and you let yourself catch your breath before reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock. ‘Want to fuck me now, hm?’

He nods avidly. ‘Yes, na-Baroness.’

All it takes is for you to half spread your legs before he’s climbing eagerly between them, hesitating before looking up at you for permission. You dip your chin, smirking, and then he’s sinking into you, burying himself inside you.

Voice cracking, Feyd chokes out your name, and he shudders, gasping at the velvet vice of your cunt as it clenches, bearing down on him. Sharply, you rock your hips up to meet his, and this time, a soft, keening whine leaves him, and he squeezes his eyes shut, biting down hard on his lower lip.

He can barely keep himself from spilling inside you.

‘You can barely hold it, can’t you, my little na-Baron?’

His words come out jumbled, his speech scrambled, mind ground to a standstill by the all consuming heat of your cunt; he babbles out protests, saying that he can, desperate to prove he can, stammering that he wants to make you feel good.

Cruelly, you buck your hips up against his again, and a pained sound looses from his chest, but he thrusts to meet you, hips lurching forward, his arms almost buckling either side of your head. Panting, he pulls out slowly before slamming back in, unable to stifle the whimper that tears from the back of his throat when you rake your nails down his shoulder blades, claiming him, littering his shoulders and neck with bites.

‘That’s it,’ you sigh as he finds his pace. ‘Just like that, good boy.’

A strangled noise tears itself from him at your praise, and he fucks into you, frantic, almost feral. Eventually, his thrusts begin to turn sloppy, and you kiss him in order to steal his breath and taste his fervid moans of your name on your tongue as he comes deep inside you.

Pressing a palm to his lower back, you pin him there, buried snugly within your pussy as you reach down with your other hand and rub your clit hard - it takes but a moment for you to come, and he writhes at the cataclysmic feel of your walls fluttering around him, overstimulating him, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as he comes again with your cunt milking his cock.

Completely spent, Feyd goes limp, and you rub your hand over his back, smoothing circles on his skin with your lips to his forehead. The post orgasm clarity begins to hit him, and you feel him go rigid - slowly, he pulls out, his seed leaking out now that he’s not filling you, and he attempts to get up, but his legs are too weak and he collapses beside you instead, his chest heaving, his eyes still a little hazy, still fucked out, even as he fights for lucidity.

There’s something on his face that cuts at your heart - a look of expectancy, as if he’s waiting for you to get up and leave now that you’ve had your fill of him. Concerned, you reach out, and he leans away from your touch.

‘Feyd,’ you murmur. ‘It was not too much, was it?’

‘N - no,’ he replies. ‘I just…’

Sitting up slowly, you look him right in the eyes. He stares back, bewildered, but you press a finger to his lips, foregoing your own fumbling words to instead recite the pledge of allegiance of a Harkonnen soldier to their general; his eyes widen - you know you have hit home. You’d exchanged wedding vows, of course, but these have a different meaning: you see it in the respectful way it is uttered, a soldier acknowledging his superior’s presence.

You pledge to him not only your heart, but your sword - your service - too.

‘Wife,’ Feyd bites out. ‘Surely you do not mean - ’

‘I mean it,’ you cut in. ‘Every word.’

Again, you reach for him, and this time he does not flinch away, letting you tuck him close to you, his breath coming out shaky. Gently, you tip up his chin, planting a chaste kiss on his parted lips, and he returns it slowly, wondrously, no teeth or tongue, just the gentle brush of his mouth against yours: the innocence of it is bittersweet - has anyone ever kissed him this tenderly?

Carefully, you withdraw, wanting to see him, but he does not let you meet his eyes, instead hiding his face in your neck, his lips at the hollow of your throat. You grant him the privacy of not being seen when you feel wetness on your skin, his hot tears tracking down and pooling in your collarbone - his hands ball at his sides, and you pry open his fingers and lace yours with his, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Tightly, you wrap your arms around him, holding him with a hand cupping the back of his head, cradling him to your chest.

Your voice is quiet in the still air, but it carries as if through an arena, a promise arcing through the air like a soaring arrow.

‘You no longer walk this world alone, Feyd-Rautha.’

best believe when i started writing this i did not anticipate the 2x 'good boy's 🧍

dune taglist: @callumsgirl @oh-you-mean-me @insufferablyunbearable

[heart4gyu]

wet dreamz pt.2 || jake x reader

[ part 1 here ]

note: it’s finally here !! i want to point out that jake is much softer (?) than i intended but i love him like this.. he’s my lover boy 🫂 anyway i rly hope you guys enjoy this because i had to scrap the original and start over omg it was a mess and work got in the way too TT but i definitely have some more jake coming soon that im so excited for !! leave ur thoughts & suggestions too plsss 🙏 [i haven’t proofread im so sleepyyyy bye]

after you sent jake that last text, inviting him over to your place, he didn’t respond. which was understandable considering jake never knew how to respond when you flirted with him, always blushing and stuttering out an awkward reply.

so as you got ready to meet up with some friends, putting on a small black dress and your favorite sparkly heels, you were surprised to hear a couple knocks at your door. even more surprised when you found jake standing there, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

“jake, what are you doing here?” you asked, feeling yourself blush, the flowers throwing you off your game a bit. no guy had ever turned up with flowers for you, especially without occasion. it was sweet.

“you- you invited me,” he says, his pretty eyes holding eye contact better than he usually does. you’d never felt this nervousness for a guy before. but you’d guess he was doing no better considering the way he was trying so hard not to look down at your low cut dress and exposed thighs.

“oh yeah… you just didn’t respond so i thought- um… do you wanna come in?” you cut yourself off, stepping aside to make room for him. he nodded as he stepped inside, looking around.

“sorry i didn’t respond… i was kinda nervous. i mean not that i’ve never- you know i just- well i don’t know why i didn’t respond actually. and you look just really pretty right now- well you always look pretty but-” he went on, stumbling cutely before you interrupted him with a laugh.

“it’s okay jakey. i was gonna go out but we could just stay here if you’d like,” you offered to which he nodded, eagerly. so you led him to your bedroom where you noticed that he didn’t look around as much. and it was cute how nervous he really did look.

“these are for you,” he said, finally handing you the bouquet. and you smiled as you thanked him, putting them on your bedside table.

“they’re beautiful... why don’t you sit on my bed so i can go change into something more comfortable,” you said, and he obeyed right away. you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you entered your bathroom because, yes, you’ve had plenty of guys in your room but something about jake was different.

you felt shy for him and he wasn’t as easy for you to get as all the others. you’d talked with him for months. you got to know him the entire semester. as with all the other guys, you didn’t really have to put in all that much work before having them in your bed.

the moment jake heard the lock of the bathroom door, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he’d been holding in. he wasn’t completely inexperienced and he was never this nervous but he had been trying so hard to forget about his dream that it was hard to focus on anything else.

he looked around now, noting that your room was different than he’d pictured but still fit you so well. and it wasn’t just your pillows but the whole room smelled like you, he was engulfed in it and he loved it.

when you stepped back out in a small pajama set, he felt his heart skip a beat and a tightness in his stomach. and you loved the way he stared at you as you walked up to him. you stood right between his legs and looked down at him innocently.

“what are you thinking, jakey,” you said, placing your hands on his shoulders. he swallowed, dryly, as he looked up into your eyes. he felt like he couldn’t breathe and even though he desperately wanted to, he didn’t think to touch you yet.

“y/n… i really like you. but before anything happens, i wanna say that i don’t want this to be a one time thing,” he admitted, quietly, not breaking eye contact. you nodded, running a hand through his hair, making him close his eyes at your touch.

“trust me, i don’t want it to be one time either,” you said, your hand wrapping around to cup his cheek. he leaned in to your touch but shook his head after a second, looking up into your eyes more seriously this time.

“i mean, i want to take you on dates and i don’t want to see other people. i just wanna be yours… i want you to be just mine,” he said, his eyes nervously watching for your response. you nodded at him with a smile and he felt relieved.

“are you asking to be my boyfriend, sim jaeyun?” you asked, smiling so brightly his shoulders relaxed in response.

“yes i am, what do you say?” he said, a hopeful look in his eyes. you watched his hands messing with the material of his jeans as his leg anxiously bounced.

“hmm…” you started, reaching down to grab both of his hands in yours. he didn’t break eye contact even when you placed his hands on your hips. “i think it took you long enough.”

“is that a yes?” he asked, a smile on his lips as you placed a knee on either side of his thighs. you cupped his face, unable to keep the smile off of your own face.

“yes! now please kiss me already,” you said, more of a demand than a request. and he just smiled as you both leaned in.

your lips finally connecting after having waited for so long. and he was gone right away, you could tell with the way he sighed loudly as you tilted your head for a better angle.

the kiss was messy, probably from his lack of experience, but still heated and passionate from the very start. a desperate moan slipping from his lips when your tongue made its way into his mouth.

you bit at his bottom lip, making eye contact as you pulled it back. with your eyes now open you could see how his chest quickly rose and fell, and how he was begging for you with his eyes.

his hands that were frozen at your hips now moving around to squeeze at your ass. he lifted a hand up to leave a firm smack there, a satisfied smirk on his lips when you let out a small gasp.

“sit back there,” you said, standing up from his lap and pointing to your headboard with your chin. he obeyed quickly as you rummaged through your bedside table for a condom.

he watched you search for a while before, “i- i brought some,” he said, lifting his hips off the bed to take the row of condoms out of his front pocket. a blush dusting his cheeks at his words.

“oh! well i’m glad you came prepared… i was just gonna let you hit it raw,” you said, playfully, crawling back over to him. and he didn’t know how but he just got even harder in his jeans.

you sat back on your knees as you took off your shirt and then bottoms revealing a pretty pink matching set. his mouth felt dry, he licked his lips as he stared down at you. you tilted your head, expectantly, when his eyes finally made their way back up to yours.

he let out a small ‘oh’ when he finally got the hint, taking his shirt off and reaching down to unbutton his pants. you let yourself take a moment and admire his build; his strong shoulders, defined abs, his sculpted thighs flexed as he lifted himself to get his jeans off.

you didn’t know how a shy, nerdy guy like him could be hiding such a build but all you knew was you hit the jackpot. even more so when he sat back against your pillows and his bulge became even more apparent through his underwear. your face heating up now as he watched you eating him up with your eyes.

you situated yourself back over his lap still not sitting down just yet. you leaned down taking his lips in yours and he took the chance to drag his hands along your waist and hips, playing with the lace of your panties.

you could kiss him forever, with his plush lips you really didn’t mind. he seemed to be growing a bit impatient though, pulling your hips down onto his abruptly, causing a moan to rip from your throat as you felt his bulge come into contact with your clothed heat.

he quickly took the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth, grinding up into you repeatedly. you through your head back, letting the soft moans fall from your lips wanting to encourage him more.

“please i’ll do anything you want me to, just tell me,” he said, pressing you flush down onto his cock and holding you there. you dropped your head down onto his shoulder, shaking your head.

“i just wanna ride you, right now,” you said, and he probably gulped but you couldn’t really focus on how cute that was with how huge he felt still pressed up against you.

so as you reached over to rip a condom from the strip he worked on taking both of your bottoms off. still being very gentle with you as he slid them down your legs, admiring every inch of your skin.

as for you, you were right: he was huge. you slid the condom onto his length and he hissed at the contact. once it was on and you lined yourself up, he stopped you one last time to press a kiss to your lips. a sweet kiss that you couldn’t help melt into.

he pressed a kiss on your cheek, down your neck, your shoulder, your chest, your bra, and one last one right above your belly button. he sat back and looked up to give you a satisfied smile, letting you know that you could continue.

you gave his cock a couple strokes and finally slipped his tip right past your lips, causing you both to moan out. he sat up almost immediately and you placed your hands on his shoulders for the extra support.

inch by inch, you took him in until finally you were sat on his lap again. you let out a deep breath and his eyes were squeezed shut as he tried his best to hold back. but all he could think about was how much better this felt than his dream.

“you’re so tight,” he moaned, resting his head onto your shoulder, still managing to place a gentle kiss there. he was holding back so much, he felt so desperate for you. “baby, could you please move a bit?”

the petname falling from his lips so effortlessly, you couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of your mouth as you started to rock yourself back and forth on him. his hands squeezed at the skin of your waist as you let out a breathy ‘yes’, putting his head back on the headboard.

when you finally started to bounce on his cock, he was a whining mess. you thought his moans were pretty, well the whines that left his throat were addictive. you wanted to do whatever you could to keep hearing them.

you lifted yourself all the way to the tip and dropped all the way back down as quick as your legs could take you, grinding onto him in all directions. and he was so perfectly responsive, just what you wanted to hear; the ‘don’t stop’s and ‘feels too good’s leaving him were too encouraging.

you couldn’t bring yourself to stop even as your thighs started to shake because you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you and you wanted to make him cum so badly. but it seemed he had the same idea.

suddenly he lifted your hips off of him, pulling out slowly, a groan falling from both of your lips. he gently laid you back down onto your pillows, not forgetting to place a gentle kiss right at the center of your chest. “… i didn’t get to make you cum,” you said, a bit disappointed.

“i know, pretty,” he said, kissing your pout away, “but i said i’d take care of you.” you felt yourself blush at his words, luckily he was preoccupied with lining himself up again.

“wait,” you said, pushing him back a bit by his chest. you reached down, slowly pulling the condom off of his length and tossing it to the side.

before he could speak again you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your legs also lifting up to engulf his waist, pulling him closer. his forehead resting on yours as he eyed you curiously, “i want you to come in me,” you said, quietly.

he squeezed his eyes shut, groaning. he kissed you, rougher than all the other kisses before. “you can’t say those kind of things to me, angel, i won’t be able to hold back.”

“please don’t hold back jakey, do whatever you dream of,” you said, your eyes begging. jake swears his heart stopped for a second. he just couldn’t believe it, this was so different from his dream but also so much better.

he took a deep breath, his hand shaking as he lined himself back up at your entrance. when he pushed all the way back in at once, he swore he was in heaven. nothing could compare to how he felt so deep in you right now, so warm and tight. was he having deja vu?

he shook his head, he didn’t have to be reminded of that dream anymore cause this? nothing could beat this.

he thrusted into you hard and fast, immediately setting a brutal pace. and you loved it, not being able to do anything other than scream and moan out his name. he wasn’t much better moaning and muttering praises at your ear.

you scratched at his back helplessly as his thrust somehow got harder, his release definitely building up again. you pulled at his hair, bringing his face in front of yours and smashing your lips together once again. the kiss more intimate in this position, despite both of you being moaning messes.

he reached a hand down to rub circles at your clit, your hand following after to help guide him. he quickly found the rhythm you wanted and matched his thrust to it. you couldn’t believe how good he was already, and couldn’t imagine how this could get any better.

he kissed and sucked at your neck, searching for the spot you liked best, already wanting to familiarize himself with every part of your body. you moaned out his name as you felt the coil in your stomach come undone. finally releasing around him as he continued chasing his own high.

he came soon after as he felt your walls clench around him so tightly, filling you up so perfectly. he held himself up, not wanting to put his full weight on you and gently pulled out when both of your breathing regulated.

he laid down beside you, still in disbelief, his dazed expression making you laugh. he looked over at you with a smile, pulling your chin towards him to place a gentle kiss on your lips. he didn’t think he’d ever get enough of kissing you.

he kissed you again and again, not wanting to pull his lips off of yours. “wait! i need to clean you up,” he said abruptly, sitting up.

“oh yeah, um… there’s a little towel in my bathroom,” you said, rising up onto your elbows. you watched as his eyebows scrunched together and he just shook his head.

“no, i don’t need a towel,” he said, and you couldn’t help but smile at his cute tone… well cute until he was getting comfortable between your legs again, laying down right in front of your leaking core. somehow a sweet, innocent look still on his face.

[caprisunnydays]

Stardew Valley x Reader Bachelor Headcanons

Alex

Before you and Alex got together, you probably became long time friends

He was def like "damn they hot" but then when it became more than just that he was like "DAMN THEY'RE HOT"

It's been a bit since he's felt those silly little butterflies, it genuinely makes him nervous

Que him leaning against a wall like "Hey bbg" but he's sweating bullets

After his confession, he feels much better, and the nervous air that only you could really pick up on has disappeared

Very PDA, arm is always around you, probably not in the back pocket but if he's tipsy enough then boom it appears

Insists on going in the mines with you but saw a slime and wanted to dip so bad but you protected him <3

"Heh...I totally wasn't scared. Don't worry babe I'll protect you" nah boy

He feels his heart melt every time he sees you and Evelyn baking together, or her just acting like your grandma

Even George has become a grandpa figure, giving advice with alex or general things

Alex is secretly insecure about himself, but with you, he finds room to grow as a person and find that those worries are unwarranted

Though he doesn't say it often, you make him feel seen, and he truly appreciates that

Elliot

(Personal fav right now so I'm about to go OFF)

If you picked romance for his book he's imagining you both as the main characters

Not a complete parallel because he's like "can't be creepy" but a teensy bit

Speaking of "can't be creepy" he has written multiple sonnets about you since realizing his feelings

Unlike some of the other bachelors, he embraces his feelings more, using his passion to inspire his writing and other endeavors

Heavy on the gifts and courting stuff

Gives you love poems at least once a week he has so many piled up but he doesn't wanna go overboard

Says the sappiest things all the time with this love struck look in his eyes

PRETTIEST MANNNNN

Words of affirmation kinda guy, he's poetic like that

Leah pokes at him for being a simp but mans could not care less he's proud

Picks out pretty sea shells that wash up on the shore and gives them to you, and they're always intact!

Big fan of the flower dance and looks forward to getting to dance with you in front of the entire town! maybe your worst nightmare but he's just happy to show you off (and his dancing skills lol)

Speaking of which, mans is gonna teach you how to waltz and a bunch of other old timey dances

At some point he WILL show up in the pouring rain to profess his love, or give you flowers, or both

You're like "Elliot we're literally dating was this necessary and he's like "OF COURSE MY DEAR"

He'd love heartstopper

Harvey

Insert too sweet by Hozier

Silly little doctor guy tries to avoid you but can't help but be drawn to you

He sees you running around doing your daily tasks, and just watches you from afar from the window of the doctor's office

Maru notices and tells you to come in sometime cuz her boss ain't gonna get nowhere by himself

When you start coming in more often he can feel himself die of embarrassment when he fails to make interesting conversation

Is very worried about your health though and fusses when you pass out in the mines/street

He gets even more adamant about you taking care of yourself once he's confessed

Way less nervous though!

Looks at you with adoration eyes when you do anything

Tipsy Harvey is a cute Harvey because he starts spilling his guts on how often he thinks of you

Whenever you're not busy with work he appreciates you stopping by the office, just to talk about both of your days

He yaps to everyone about you btw

Doesn't mean to but when someone brings you up he's like "oh yes me and my partner love to-" or "my partner loves-" etc etc

I used to not be a fan but he's such a sweetiepie

Sam

"I just love a guy who plays guitar <3" - u @Sam

That's it

I JEST

Originally he's like "hey come and hang out with me, Sebastian, and Abigail"

Then you start coming over and it's just you both alone

He's not creepy about it, just wants to spend time with you one on one

Loves showing you the songs he works on and if you want he'll show you how to play guitar too!

He's also happy with how well you get along with Jodi, always trying to get you both to bond, it makes him feel nice that you feel like you're apart of the family

Once y'all are together he does sneak you in anytime he gets the chance

He'll text you like "come over" You : I've gotta be up at 6am Him : "PLZPLZPLZPLZ-"

OG golden retriever bf

You both go shopping at Joja at 3am for fun and goof off

Or go run around in the forest taking aesthetically pleasing pintrest photos

Sebastian

You can't tell me he's not an arctic monkeys kinda guy so insert R U Mine? By Arctic Monkeys

It took him time to warm up to you

When he did you became one of the few people he could hang out with after a long day of socializing and not feel drained around

I can see him doing things that aren't always super platonic and thinking he wants to do them because

"Platonically" holding your hand, cuddling, etc

At town events he stands all close to you, complaining about how much he hates it, but showing disappointment when you mention leaving

Everyone's like are y'all dating and he goes NO way too fast

When you both finally ARE together though he's actually much less affectionate and public, but it doubles when you're in the comfort of his basement room

Finds the most joy in keeping you trapped in his bed with him until noon when you say you should be working on your farm

Especially in the colder months, then you can also share his mom's pumpkin soup

He's almost catlike with his affection

Another guy you run around and take aesthetically pleasing pintrest photos with, but his are more grunge esk

"Accidentally" leaves his hoodies at your place but he likes seeing you in em

I imagine that the characters have those closets filled with the same outfit, so when you try and give him his stuff back he goes "nah" and whips out his 100th hoodie

Shane

PACK IT UP SAVIOUR COMPLEX I mean what who said that

After you rescue him from the depths of his depressive alcoholism, he feels guilty for having feelings for you

Part of it is because he's like "fuck do I actually like them or is it just cuz they basically saved my life" and partly because it feels painfully stereotypical

Not a lot changes, though he is a lot more open to you then he is with other people, even with Marnie

Helps out with your chickens when he has free time

Talks to them about his problems and once you almost walked in on him ranting about his feelings for you (bro was shook)

But once he's confessed, well, he's still insecure about some things, but accepts your help with stride

Jealous easily, but tries not to show it

Acts of service kinda guy, so if you need him to run an errand while you're swamped with farm work? He's on it

Pulls up to your farm with a bunch of snacks and a bag full of movies for you to pick from

He sets it up while you take a shower to wash all the grime and dirt off from a days work so you can just come and cozy up on the couch with him

You're also basically besties with Jas, such a sweet girl, always asks you to play jump rope with her

You both go "say no to drugs" to her l o l

Marnie is also now your bestie so even when she's not working you can get stuff from the shop #WIN

I loooooove stardew valley it's so cool so great

[fictionalreads]

This Was Never Meant to Be What It Feels Like

A/N: Hey y'all! I'm not really a writer so this is my first time posting any writing here on Tumblr, but I'm apparently incapable of not thinking about Armando (*Whatta Man by Salt-N-Pepa plays in my head) so this kind of...happened. I figured I'd share ☺️ Also, I know Armando thinks Aretas is his dad in the movies but I changed it a bit.

Title is from Satisfaction by SiR (if you haven't heard it do yourself a favor and go listen)

Pairing: Armando Aretas x Original Female Character

Fandom: Bad Boys Movies

Prompt: Shay (OC) wants to get to know Armando better and figures her best bet is to ask when he's...relaxed.

Warnings ⚠️: Uh...complicated parental relationships. Talk of smut, but no actual smut.

“Tell me something.”

“Hm?”

Shay kept her focus on drawing invisible shapes on Armando’s shoulder with her finger. Her blue stiletto shaped nails going down almost to his elbow before finding its way back up to his collar bone. It was something she did often after they had sex and she knew it calmed him much like it was now. His breathing had slowed into something calmer than the frantic breaths of ten minutes ago when he was trying to catch his breath. The open window blew in a decent ocean breeze, adding to the peaceful feeling in her bedroom. She tried to play it cool, like she wasn’t disturbing the moment, wasn’t asking him to do the one thing she knew he hated - opening up.

Shay had been seeing Armando for about three months now, and she knew next to nothing about the man. She knew it was a red flag, hell she knew he probably wasn’t a law abiding citizen, but she couldn’t help it. 

There was something so magnetizing, so sensual about his presence. He commanded attention even though she got the feeling he wanted nothing more than to blend in and be lowkey. She couldn’t help but notice the way he held himself, the way he spoke and moved with the confidence of a man who was sure of himself. Don’t get her started on the way he smelled - it was divine and pure man.

The point was basically this - he was a ten but he refused to tell her more about himself.

Shay was determined to get to know him better, because despite playing things close to his chest, she was in love with him. She didn’t know his last name, but she knew he would bring her flowers and food if she was having a bad day just to make her smile. She didn’t know what he did for a living - honestly, part of her was glad for this if it was illegal as she was imagining. Plausible deniability. - but she knew if she needed him to, he would fix anything she needed him to or at least find someone who could. She didn’t know what his crucible entailed that made him like this, but she knew he loved her like she was something precious.

So she was taking the risk that this would blow up in her face. “Tell me something about you that I don’t know.” She kissed his chest, like she was softening the blow of the question. Not that she needed to, it was an open ended question on purpose. The more freedom she gave about the topic, the more likely he was to answer.

He gently shifted her to the pillow as he lifted himself on his elbow, facing her with a suspicious look on his face. “Like what?” God, what she wouldn’t give to take whatever hurt that made him so distrustful of her just wanting to know him away. Who had betrayed him? Who took advantage of his trust and made him so wary of genuine love?

She thought over her answer, a million topics coming to mind but needing to pick one that wouldn’t have him shutting down immediately. Armando had let the conversation start but he could end it if she said the wrong thing.

“Your family.” She could feel him pulling away as if it was physically happening so she quickly explained her choice. “Did you grow up with siblings? Are your parents married?” Bare minimum. 

It seemed to have worked he looked at her as if debating what to say, if anything, before laying back down and staring at the ceiling. The relaxed man that was in her bed mere minutes ago, gone. Now he was tense, as if ready for a fight. She slowly and obviously resumed her previous position on his chest, giving him time to tell her no if he needed the space. Her nails went back to their drawings in the hopes of calming him enough to talk. He took a breath before, “I grew up an only child. My mom was my world, she taught me everything I knew.”

Her nails stopped moving. “Was?” It was the word that caught the most of her attention out of everything he just said.

“She passed away a few years ago.” His face was blank, as if he was just stating a fact of life rather than talking about the death of the person that raised him and whom he clearly loved.

Shay rubbed the shoulder she wasn’t laying on in an effort to comfort him.“I’m sorry to hear that.” Armando shrugged it off but she could tell it still hurt him. “What about your dad?”

“Our relationship is…complicated at best. He wasn’t around for most of my life. We were introduced a few months before my mom died. I didn’t even know who he was to me until my mom told me on her deathbed.” 

“You never asked your mom about him before?”

“If there was one thing I knew about my father growing up, it was that my mom hated him. She always told me that he left us behind and didn’t look back at all. As a kid I was curious but as I got older, I started to hate him too. I mean he was supposed to love my mom, and he turned on her and left me behind like I was trash. Fuck ‘im. Now I know it wasn’t so black and white.”

“How so?”

“The few times my mom spoke about him, she always heavily implied that he knew she was pregnant with me and left anyway. Looking back, she never said the words. When I confronted my father about it, he said they were a doomed couple that wasn’t ever going to last. They were both too selfish. Said he didn’t even know she had been pregnant until we met.”

“Sounds like he cares. I mean if he knew do you think he would have been around?”

“There’s no doubt in my mind he would have been there, raised me. I know he loves me, that he just wants what’s best for me, but I’m just having a hard time accepting it. I spent so much time hating him that reconciling this truth with this perception I’ve always had of him is hard.”

“Not to mention it means confronting that you didn’t know your mom as well as you thought you did. The woman she was to you isn’t the woman she was to others.”

“And she’s not here to explain it, which just makes me mad all over again. He’s usually the target of my anger.”

“Makes sense to me.” She shrugged in response to his questioning look. “He’s here. Add in the fact that he wasn’t there for so long its easy to blame him for a lot.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Like a flip had been switched, he once again moves her onto the bed and hovers over her.

“Enough about them. Talking is not exactly what I had in mind for us tonight,” he pleads. 

She could see the desperation and fear in his eyes. She had a feeling that being that honest with her scared him. He wasn’t exactly the vulnerable type and telling her all this put him on display in the most raw way, an unknown for him. It also meant he had to be honest with himself about he felt, something she didn’t think happened a lot. He wanted to escape the real hurt he was feeling about it all, he didn’t want to face what the truth might mean for his memory of his mother. If a reprieve is what he needed, she could do that for him. She would do that for him.

She bit her bottom lip, looking at him through her lashes, feeling herself get wet at his suggestive tone and slight touches. “What did you have in mind?”

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

The next morning she woke up alone, his side of the bed cold. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence as he often left before she woke. She was used to him leaving and coming back randomly, sometimes being gone for days. After their conversation and the way he seemed to just need her last night, she figured this was coming. Something told her him leaving was different this time, that she had pushed him too far. She had the sickening feeling that he wasn’t coming back.

Round two had been fast and rough, needy in a way. Round three had been teasing and playful, like he was apologizing for being so rough before. Round four was…slow and passionate, reverent almost.

It felt like a goodbye.

A/N: 🫣So how'd I do? Let me know in the comments. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated! OH AND HOW SHOULD I TAG THIS?! Anything I should add to get more people to see it?

Part 2 Part 3

[rosietaeyongswife]

mission: prom | jung jaehyun

genre: fluff, angst, teenage romance paring: jaehyun x reader synopsis: what happenes when prom is in a month, and you haven't been asked out yet? wc: 7k tw: curses

Your father was looking at TV, when he realized you didn't come down for dinner. It's been already 30 minutes, since he have asked you downstairs. A little bit concerned, he went upstairs to check on you and boy, he didn't expect to find you sitting on the bed crying with your earphones in.

"Y/N?" He asked, but you couldn't hear him. He came closer and tap you on your shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry, dad. I got caught up."

"Why you're crying?" Your eyes drifted away from his, to hide embarrassment. "C'mon, you know you can tell me."

For a moment, you held back, because your father might not care, but it's better to let go of negative energy.

"I haven't been asked out to prom, yet." Trying to hold tears in wasn't easy. "It might be silly, but I wish I could go with someone. All my friends are going with their partners, and here I am. Don't worry, I just needed to cry and I'll be fine."

"Y/N, don't be silly. It's still a lot of time, and I assure you, there is a gentleman who is going to ask you out. I promise." He hugged you. "You're pretty, smart and funny girl. Who wouldn't want to go with you? Crazy. Don't stress about it, love." He got up and smiled at you. "Mum made pasta, your favortie one."

There was an ache in your father's heart. Did he feel heartbroken? Yes, probably yes. His little daughter was crying alone in her bedroom, because no boy asked her to prom. He wants only the best for you and wishes you happiness, and there's no way, you're going alone.

He never said anything, but he was thinking about it all night. What to do? And after a while, realization hit him. Your dad is a football couch at Seoul's University, so he's facing a bunch of boys only year older than you, daily. One of them could be good for you. Here come a list in his mind.

Yuta Nakamoto? He's Japanese, and he's just a year older, studying business at University. He's really respectful, smart and funny but he found him annoying. A lot of rumours say, he's a playboy and he doesn't look for anything special yet. Out.

Kim Jungwoo? He's tall, handsome, funny guy of the team. Jungwoo never fails to make anyone smile, and he's engineerer student so it makes him perfect canditate. But. He's shy, and boys were talking about him and some girl. Out.

Kim Mingyu? He's also very tall, handsome and mysterious. A lot of girls have a crush on him, but he's not the smartest among the team, and he has a temper. Sometimes he's too stubborn and it's not cool. Out.

As your dad was thinking about it, his hopes went down. Is there anyone, who isn't douchebag or dumb? He isn't going to set up his precious girl with some jerk. And then an idea popped.

Jung Jaehyun. Tall, handsome, funny and respectful student. He's studying business with Yuta, and a lot of girls have a crush on him and teachers love him. He's most polite person, your dad has ever met. Professors always praise him, because he always gets high marks and he's the best football player in the team. On top of that, his father was an old friend of your father. He helped Jungs in the past, making Jaehyun's dad, a professor in United States some time ago. Bingo.

On your way to classes, all you could hear was your friends bragging about their prom dates. It was annoying you, because you still don't have any date. Jealousy was getting over you, but you hide it as much as you could.

"Doyoung came with a big sign and flowers in his hand." Sohyeon said with a proud smile, showing you picture of her boyfriend. "I was stunned. Imagine, Kim Doyoung showing up with these things to ask me out, crazy."

"Jungwoo wasn't original." Jimin said with a pout. "We were hanging out at his dorm, and he turned the TV off. I looked at him, and he asked if I wanted to go with him."

"I mean, it's Jungwoo, we're talking about." You pointed out. "At least, he did ask."

"What about you, Y/N?" Sohyeon smiled at you widely. "I bet there must be some hottie. Tell us."

"Actually, nope."

Girls tried to comfort you, but you were aware of reality. Majority of people had already dates, and this wouldn't change much.

"I bet someone will ask you out." Jimin hugged you. "Look, I had no idea few months ago, I'd be dating Doyoung. I used to stay at home 24/7. And look, I'm dating him."

"For real, you can't stress about it. I mean, going alone isn't the worst. Many people go alone. It's fine."

"Yes, I bet it is. It'd just be nice to have a date."

"Imagine if someone like, oh." Jimin pouted. "Jung Jaehyun asked you out. Do you remember him? A year ago, everyone and their moms had a crush on him. He's literally the most handsome man I've ever seen. Besides, Jungwoo right."

"Oh fuck." Sohyeon nodded with a laughter. "He once asked me about a teacher, and I could fall because of his beauty."

"I've heard, he asked Chaeyoung out by getting on his knees with her favorite flowers in hand and sang her a song. Isn't it romantic?" Jimin and Sohyeon both were daydreaming about Jaehyun. "He never sings for anyone, so she must've been special."

"Wow, that's awesome." You nodded. "Do you think they're still dating?"

"Maybe? I have no idea, but Park Chaeyoung is studying law, and he's doing business at different universities. I hope they broke up."

"Why? You can't say that."

"C'mon, Y/N. He deserves better."

Park Chaeyoung was known pretty and popular girl among your year, just a year ago. At first, everyone thought she's nice and polite, but then it turned out she's the most fake person, that school has ever seen. If she didn't like someone, she'd turn their life into hell. People got to know, few weeks after prom and since then she left school to write SATS in another school.

The weather outside was sunny and warm, which resulted on bunch of men being sweaty and greasy. They've been running nonstop for past half an hour, and it was just a beginning of practice.

Your father was thinking what is he supposed to say to Jaehyun to make him agree.

"Jaehyun." Younger man turned around to check what's going on. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course, couch. What's up?"

"Listen, I have an odd question." He nodded. "You know my daughter, Y/N, right? She used to come here with me some time ago."

"Oh, Y/N. Yes, I know her. Not really know, but I know who she is. Why?"

"What I'm about to say may be crazy for you, and I understand if you wouldn't like to agree, but I'm desperate." Jaehyun was confused. What do you have to do with him? "She hasn't been asked out to Prom, and she probably won't be. I love her, and I can't bear the pain to see her heartbroken. Would you ask my daughter out to Prom?"

Jaehyun was stunned and he had no words. What was he supposed to say? He doesn't even know you. At all.

"I like you couch, and I respect you, but I don't really know her. I don't think it's a great idea, maybe you should've asked Yuta-"

"No. You're most normal guy here. Jaehyun, please. Think about it. I'll let you play in the main squad in semi finals. I promise."

"I'll think about it, couch."

Jaehyun wasn't sure what to do. At first, he was certain to say no, but your dad promised him place in the main squad on semi finals. It's his big chance right there.

After the practice, he went straight home and wanted nothing else but sleep. As he was about to shower, his father called him.

"Jaehyun, did Mr. Y/L/N asked you?"

"Oh, God. You too?" He hissed. "It's crazy dad. I literally don't know her at all. Am I supposed to show up at her door tommorow with a flower in a hand and as if she wants to be my prom date? Please. It's ridiculous."

"I know how it sounds, but you need to agree." He sighed and Jaehyun once again, was confused. "Her father used to help me to get a place in professor staff. Thanks to him, I could work at Harvard. He helped me, and it's time to return a favor. I'm not asking you to date her, son. Just one night."

Only two weeks until prom, and here you are with your mother and Jimin in a shop with all the beautiful dresses. The longer you were in there, the more mad you were. All the dresses you tried on, were either ugly or not flattering.

"Baby, I think you need to make your mind. There's plenty of choice. Pick something."

"I'll just get something black." You said with a grin. "Nothing else looks good on me, black is classic. And heels. Whatever."

Jimin felt bad, because you were excited just a ten minutes ago, but now you're tired. After picking a dress, three of you came to your home. Your mother was busy with conversation with your father, while you and Jimin were looking for makeup inspirations on Pinterest.

"I think I'm doing glam." Jimin showed you a picture of glam makeup on some girl. "I need to go extra hard, you know."

"Well, you should. I bet you're going to look amazing, Jimin."

"You too. Find yourself a good inspo, and we'll be slaying the shit out of that place."

After few minutes, Jungwoo came to pick Jimin up. Both of them are supposed to have a dinner date tonight. You waved them goodbye, but you noticed how Jungwoo was looking at you and whispered something to Jimin. She seems to be excited, but she played it off and left. Weird.

As you were packing your stuff for school, a door bell rang in the whole house.

"Y/N, open the door." Your father ordered you to do it.

It annoyed you. Both of your parents were sitting downstairs in the living room, yet they called you to open the door.

"Hi, who-" You stopped mid sentence. "Jung Jaehyun? What are you doing here?"

You got outside and closed the door after you. Jaehyun was wearing a black suit and he was looking really fine in it. In his hands were small boquete of rosses, and you were real confused at the moment.

"I came, because I want to take you to Prom together." He smiled and showed you his dimples. He also gave you the rosses. "Y/N, will you be my prom date?"

He was smiling at you, looking adorable and all you could do was sigh.

"No."

Jaehyun was baffled. He didn't expect such an outcome. You were supposed to be extra excited, say yes and hug him, thanking for saving you, and he was supposed to play in semi finals. And you have audacity to say no?

"What do you mean no?"

"No, I won't let you be my date, Jaehyun." You were smilling, and it didn't help Jaehyun to realize what's going on. "I guess my father must've asked you to do it. Damn, he really pitties me."

"It's not like that, I mean, I mea-" He was at loss of words. "You were supposed to say yes. I thought you still don't have a date."

"That's true, I don't."

Jaehyun was laughing ironically.

"Then what's the issue? Agree and you will have a cute date, and best time of your life with me."

"You don't even know me, Jaehyun. We were friends when we were, like, 5?" You laughed at Jaehyun expression, handing him the flowers. "I appreciate your efforts, but I don't want to go with someone who pity me."

Before Jaehyun could speak, you left. He was baffled on the sport in front of your door. He was theoritically dumped. His pride got hurt a bit, since no one has ever told him "no" until today. Not only pride got hurt, but his hope also died. He can't let go. He needs sport in main squad, it's his chance to become someone big.

"Y/N you're going with me wheter you like it or not."

And with that he left. He promised to himself, he's going to make you change your mind and secure a spot in main team.

It's been five days since Jaehyun has showed up at your door with rosess in his hand. You didn't tell anything about it to your friends, becasue they would get worked out over nothing. Sohyeon and Jimin were busy with their love lives, while you kinda stuck with them to kill boredroom.

"Wait." Jimin stopped on her track. "Isn't it Jung Jaehyun's car?"

"What do you mean?"

Three of you turned your gaze towards black Mercedes, that was parked in front of your school. Plates said exact numbers, Jaehyun owns.

"That's weird." Sohyeon chuckled. "What does he need from here?"

Before anyone could answer, tall male got out the car and was making his way towards you and your friends. Your hearbeat got faster, and you were about to faint.

"Is he coming towards us?"

"I guess."

You had internal battle with yourself, wheter to run away or stay still and die of embarrassment.

"Y/N." The way his voice sounds, made you even more nervous than you already were. "I came by, and I'd like to give you ride home."

Witnesses of this scene were baffled. It was some fanfiction shit in real life, because how the hell, is Jaehyun picking you up from school?

"I don't think it's necessary."

"C'mon. Don't be so lame, let's go."

"I can handle myself." You hissed. "Thank you, but nope."

"I won't ask twice. You're either coming with me or I'm tell-"

"Fine." You didn't give him a chance to speak. "I'll go with you."

You waved your friends goodbye and left with a weird stranger, who doesn't seem to let go.

"Why you're so cold, huh?" He smiled at himself, while he was turning on engine. "I know we don't know each other, but what's stopping us from getting to know each other? Nothing."

"Listen, I don't want to get to know you, alright? You're so annoying, I told you no. What part of my decline you didn't understand?"

Jaehyun was smilling at himself, because of how adorable you were. Annoyed and angry because of him.

"Because I want to be your prom date, how simple is that?" He teased with his eyes focused on the road. "I see no cons of that situation."

Listening to him was getting on your nerves. The next thing you're about to do, was to have a talk with your father. It was all his fault. You being in that car was his fault. Jaehyun getting on your neveres, was, also, his fault.

"We don't know each other, I won't go with a stranger."

"Then we'll get to know each other, simple."

As you were about to protest, you saw how he turned in the wrong way. It wasn't the road towards your home.

"I think you turned in the wrong direction."

"C'mon, did you really think we're going home so soon?"

"I want to go home, Jaehyun." You rolled your eyes. "I appreciate your effort, but it's nonsense."

Jaehyun didn't answer, but kept his smile on his lips. This whole time feels like an illusion. You're in Jaehyun's car, going God knows where. What if he's a psycho, who's about to kill you?

"Easy, I'm not going to kidnap or kill you."

"What the fuck?" Now you were scared. "How did you-"

"I can see it in your facial expressions. Believe me or not, I'm not into killing pretty girls."

"So cliche."

"And funny."

After ten minutes, both of you get out the car. The sight in front of you was quite mesmerizing. It was a lake with woods around. The views was impressing, but you had no intentions to say it out loud.

"How do you like it?"

"It's cool." You shrugged. "It's the place where you take all your girls, right? I guess it's a nice location."

"Don't be so mean. I don't take anyone here." He replied, going towars small bridge. "I am here once every few weeks. I like it here. Peace and sound."

"So.. Why are we here?"

"To spend some time together?" He was sarcastic, which made you even more annoyed than you already were. "You said, you're not going to prom with a stranger, then I'll stop being a stranger."

"Jaehyun, I wasn't joking-"

"What's your favorite color then?"

"Really?" You couldn't believe your ears. "You're asking me about my favorite color, God."

"Just answer me."

"I don't know. Red probably?"

"Red. Sounds good. Mine's black, since you haven't bothered to ask."

"It's because I don't care?" You tried to keep your cool, but Jaehyun made you nervous. "Geez."

"Another question."

"I feel like I'm taking a pop quiz."

"Good, that's the point." He leaned by the bench. "Why you're always wearing your earphones in? Ever since I can remember, you were wearing them since the beginning of the high school."

"I like music, isn't it obvious? I just prefer to listen to music to talking with people."

"So you're an introvert."

"And you're an extrovert, I suppose."

"Opposites attract, you know."

"Stop with this cheesy lines, Jaehyun. God."

"I like how you say my name. Cute." He smiled at you, and you tried to hide your smile. He wasn't that bad. "Do you have any questions?"

"Why business? I thought you're into different things."

"Oh. Well, my father made me do it. My plan A is to become a football star." He chuckled with you at your reaction. "My plan B, made by my father, was to become CEO and open own company."

"Sounds secure. Cool."

"I don't know. Economics and business is so fucked ubp. I baerly can do basic math and it's driving me crazy. College is a real deal, Y/N." You smiled at his words. He must've meant it. "And you? Your plans for future?"

"I'm not sure yet." You sat down on a small bench. "I'm thinking about either psychology or criminology. Both are interesting, but it's dificult. I don't think I'm ready for an adult life."

Jaehyun could only nod at your words. It was true, it is scary, but it can be overcomed.

"You're going to figure it out. I bet you're going to be good at whatever you're going to pick."

"Oh, thank you. How cute." You said with a sarcasm. "I appreciate your piece of advice, but it was shitty one."

"C'mon, don't be so negative Miss."

"Don't call me miss, that sounds weird." You made disgusted face. "I think you should drive me back home, my father is probably wondering where am I."

"Oh shit, for sure."

Ride back home was rather fun. Jaehyun was talking about all the times he had embarrased himself or fun stories he and his friends had. It seems like Jaehyun is really cool guy.

"Thank you, uhm, for the ride."

"You're welcome, see you around Y/N."

A little smile crept on your lips, he isn't that bad. Your father was doing dinner for both of you, when he noticed you.

"Was it Jung Jaehyun's car or am I wrong?"

"Indeed. He insisted, dad."

"Do you like him?"

"I bearly know him, please. He's not that bad, but he's still a stranger."

"Cool." He hummed. "Dinner will be ready in a few."

After small talk with your dad, you came into your room and finally checked all the messages from your friends. As you were about to reply, an outcoming call came.

"Hi."

"Why the fuck did Jung Jaehyun came for you?"

"Exactly, mind explaining?"

"I don't know, he just came by, I guess."

"Came by? Y/N Y/L/N, be for real. Why didn't you tell us both of you are talking?"

"Because we aren't. He's just an old friend."

"Doesn't make sense at all. Girl, we should've known before. Now, tell us everything."

You cooked your brows, because you didn't feel like telling your friends about Jaehyun.

"There's nothing to talk about. We met few times, and that's all. I swear." You tried to keep it cool. "I'm sorry but I have to go, my father calls me."

Sometimes Jimin and Sohyeon get out of hand. They're really annoying with your business, and you don't really like it. Relationship with Jaehyun could only mess up your and your friends.

Past week was really exciting for you. All the time, you had spent with Jaehyun. He literally made you laugh so much, and you had really time of your life. Your friends didn't ask much, they just let you do your thing. For the first time in a long time, you felt happy. Jaehyun brought so much joy into your life, which was cool.

"So." Jaehyun looked up from his cup of tea. "I was wondering, if I can be your prom date?"

You almost choked on your tea. The first time Jaehyun has asked you out, it was weird and funny to you, but right now it made you nervous to speak.

"I guess you can."

Jaehyun chuckled a bit and hugged you. You felt redness spread across your cheeks because of that small gesture. There's no way you're falling for him, right?

"See you on friday then. Make yourself look pretty, Y/N."

"I'm always pretty, dork."

"I never said you weren't."

Humming in response, you laughed at Jaehyun. Both of you were about to head home, he's living just five minutes away from you. When you opened the door to your house, you could hear your mother voice.

"But you can't just ask somebody to do it, Jezus."

"Please, calm down it's not like-" He noticed you. "Y/N, hi. You're finally home."

"What were you arguing about?" You chuckled a bit, but you still were concerned. "Both of you look weird, is everything fine?"

Your father took a quick glance at your mother, and then sit down on the counter.

"Not really, we were arguing about my managment of my football team, nothing serious."

"Okay then."

"Honey, are you ready for prom?" Your mother stopped you from going away. "I mean, it's this friday and I want you to feel special."

"Not really."

The next day, your mother took you out on a shopping spree. This day was all about you. Your mother was really happy that both of you could spend a day together after a long time of not doing so. Walking through shops was making you a bit dizzy. Dresses were elegant and beuatiful, so the choice was hard.

"What about this one, Y/N?"

You turned around to see a green mini dress, and you were certain it's not it.

"I don't think green is my colour, mom."

This went on and on, and what supposed to be a nice afternoon turned into a nightmare real quick. Your mother was annoyed with your choices, and the fact you haven't found any of the dresses cute.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I can help." A woman with a precious smile on came by. "My name is Jennie, and I've been working here for three years, so I have some experience."

"Thank God, I can't do it anymore." Your mother rolled her eyes. "Y/N be quick."

She then left to sit on the couch and check her phone, while you were on your way with Jennie. She seems to be a nice girl and she was really cool with you.

"I'm sorry for my mother, she's like this sometimes."

"Don't worry, things like this happens here daily, believe me. I know how to deal with it."

"Must be harsh."

"I got used to it by now." She smiled at you. "Here, elegant dress. Black and maxi, what do you think?"

"They're amazing. Wow, I've never seen anything prettier."

"I know right? Well, here's all the dresses available in black. I think black is everyone's go to. So let's take a look."

After ten minutes of going through, what seems like a hundred, dresses, Jennie picked one.

"That-"

"Is beautiful, I know." She ended your sentance. "Try it on."

It was black, elegant and slevless dress with a square neck. The dress made you pop and look like a princess. Looking at your reflection, you felt beautiful for the first time since forever. You felt like you, but more confident and cooler.

"Excuse me, Mam." Jennie approached your mother. "Your daughter was wondering if you might want to take a look at the dress we choose."

"Finally, okay."

Facial expression your mother had, was spechless. It was a moment where both of you went silent and just looked at each other.

"So, what do you think?"

"You look perfect, Y/N. This is the one, honey." She turned her back and looked at Jennie. "Can we get shoes too?"

D-day, here's your prom night. Jaehyun felt comfortable around you, so were you. Both of you have been texting each other about most casual stuff, as if you had known each other for years. Also, he was annoying you, because he wanted to see the dress, but you told him no. It's supposed to be a surprise.

A bell rang. It must've been him.

"Y/N, someoen's for you." Your dad called you, and suddenly you felt anxious. What if he doesn't like what you wear? "Y/N, c'mon."

Making your way down the stairs, you prayed in your mind for him to like it a lot. On the other hand, Jaehyun was mesmerized by your beauty. He couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"Y/N, you look gorgeous." Jaehyun couldn't take his eyess off of you, which made you blush. "You're killing it."

"Thank you." You tried to hide your face. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Sorry, my bad."

Ride towars the place of the prom wasn't silent at all. Jaehyun was talking with you about everything like usually. He also couldn't stop looking at you. For the first time in a long time, you felt appreciated by someone else than your parents.

Dance. Everyone who had a pair had to dance. Jaehyun learnt the steps in a day thanks to you. You couldn't tell who was more excited: you or Jaehyun. Whole school had eyes on you and your partner for tonight, but you couldn't care less. Tonight feels like a dream. It was all thanks to God. If it wasn't for him, you would spend the worst night of your life alone, but here you are with Jung Jaehyun.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

"Video Games" instrumentall started playing. Your steps were graceful, smooth and pretty. Jaehyun was watching your every move almost hipnotised. At this very moment, he realized how much he does actually like you. Jaehyun got attached to you by last weeks. To be fair, he was mad at himself that he hadn't had a chance to get to know you before.

"I'm one lucky man to be here with you."

"Didn't you tell the same thing to Chaeyoung?" You laughed, while Jaehyun silenced for a minute and let out a small giggle. "I'm lucky one. I don't know how did it happen, but I'm happy nevertheless."

Jaehyun eyes widened. For a qucik second, he remembered conversation with your father. He felt awful for a second, but then he let go. It doesn't matter. What matters is the fact he likes you.

"No, I told her something different. I guees." Both of you giggled, as you were making your way towards the tables. "I'm glad that Doyoung and Jungwoo will be here. I feel like I'm grandma among teenagers."

"You're just a year older, idiot."

"Still. Year may be a lot."

"Dumb."

Sohyeon and Jimin were really excited for you. They had never seen you happier than tonight. Ever since you've been hanging out with Jaehyun something changed in you. Like a small sparkle in you woke up. None of them knew the real reason why did Jaehyun asked you out. Their boyfriends told them, he was intrested in her for a while since Chaeyoung left the school. It was really believable, because you were one of the prettiest girl in the High School.

"So, Jaehyun and Y/N, are you dating?"

Jungwoo asked all of sudden, and for a moment you forgot how to breathe.

"Dude, I swear to God." Jaehyun rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Leave us alone. Are you alright, Y/N?"

"Yes, I am."

"So? What's the answer?"

Before Jaehyun could answer, you were faster to reply.

"No. We're friends."

Jaehyun couldn't explain why, but he felt an ache in his heart at your words. It was an honest true, why would he feel hurt? He brushed it off, and just nodded at your words.

Jimin punched Jungwoo playfully, and changed the topic.

"What about we dance? I hear Rihanna, and everyone is sitting down. C'mon! Let's dance!"

Circle of your friends got up on the dance floor staying there for almost hour. All the 2000s hits were blasting through the speakers, and you really were happy. Nothing could ruin your night. It's the best day of your life.

"I need to rest." You said, and sat down with Doyoung while the rest went for the drinks.

"Wow, I haven't seen Jaehyun so happy and chill for a while now. Did you do something to him, Y/N?" He chuckled.

"Nope, haha. What are you talking about?" You laughed at him, and took a sip of juice you had. "I thought he was always this happy."

"He had a rough time lately, and now he's dancing on the dance floor with us. Believe me, he would never do it unless he was drunk."

Doyoung's words warmed up your heart. The thought of Jaehyun being happier just because both of you hangs out made you smile. He isn't such an asshole as you thought for some time.

An hour passed, and everyone had a great time. Girls were dancing with you, boys would come to dance too. It's an unforgetable night for you.

"I need to smoke. Anyone?"

Jaehyun, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Jimin all got up and left. Jimin had to call her mother, while you stayed with Sohyeon. Your friend was really drunk, close to passing out.

"Are you alright, Sohyeonah?"

"Yes, yes hell I am." She was chuckling. "I feel great." She was stuttering, and you felt bad for her. "I want more."

As when she was going for another drink, you took it from her.

"Girl, do you want to throw up? Leave it alone." You were laughing at her failed attempts to get the drink from you. "Stop it."

It's been five minutes, and you wasn't laughing at all. Sohyeon wasn't chuckling or saying anything, she was almost passed out.

"I need to go to toilet."

Her voice was shaky, so you were fast to react and go with her. She was on her knees throwing up, as you were holding her hair.

"Who-" Jimin voice stopped. "Oh my God, is she so drunk?" She got on her knees, and took a look at her friend.

"Yes, she looks like a ghost. I don't think staying here more, would make it better."

"God." Jimin rolled her eyes. "Can you go for Doyoung? He should take her home or something. I'll stay with her. I know what to do, but she should rest."

"Of course."

You felt bad for Sohyeon, she has always been a lighthead. Jimin knew what to do with her, but you had no clue. You went by your table, but there was no one there so boys were still outside. Many people were going in and out, so it was hard for you to notice them in the crowd. Finally, you saw familiar sillhouete. As you got closer you've heard Jungwoo's voice.

"Are you still going to keep in touch with her? I mean, you already did what you've been asked to." Jungwoo was chuckling. "She's great girl, but do you want to?"

Been asked to? You felt as if your heart was breaking in two. What does it mean?

"I don't know. Depends."

"Ya, really?" Doyoung was laughing. "You got your spot in a team, and you says depends. Coach isn't going to be the happiest with such an answer."

"I mean, that's true. I like her but.." Jaehyun wasn't able to end. "I don't know how to explain this. I would -"

He couldn't end, because Jungwoo shook his head in your direction. Here you were standing with makeup running down your face. Crying so hard, you almost forgot how to breathe.

"D-Doyoung, Sohyeon is throwing up in the toilets. Take her home." IT was all you could say.

Three of them were shocked to see you. You've heard the conversation out of context. It seems like Jaeyun used you for his spot, but he didn't get to finish his true feelings about you.

"Fuck! Y/N stop!"

Jungwoo went together with Doyoung, leaving two of you alone.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Jaehyun!" You screamed on top of your lungs. "I knew my father must have asked you for it. I knew it. How could I be so stupid to think you did it by yourself! I'm such an idiot."

"It's not like that! I really like you, please. Hear me out!"

"No, I don't want to talk." You wiped away your tears. "I'm coming home. I don't want to see you anymore."

"Wait, Y/N."

Jaehyun was about to chase you, when he realized it's done. You overheard him and his friends in a wrong timing. He was about to say how much he does adore you, and how it depends on you and how you see him. Now it's fuckin done, because you know it was your dad favor.

Prom was supposed to be your dream come true, and it turned into a nightmare quickly. It's been almost a month, and you're still with your thoughts in that night. Your father apologized to you about thousand times.

"I told you to leave her alone! She could've gone by herself. Happens. It would be better than going with your boy. Gosh, what have you done?" Your mother was annoyed. "Now she doesn't talk to you and I support her."

"I only wants the best for her! That's it! I couldn't look at her being hurt. I wanted my little girl to have her moment, is it so bad?"

Jaehyun called you and texted you, but you didn't read nor respond to these messages.

On the other hand, Jaehyun was upset. Heartbroken. Depressed. He wasn't sure why did he take it so personal. He was sure he couldn't get you out of his head. Jung Jaehyun understood you and wasn't surprised by your behaviour, but he was selfish. He wanted you to text him back, to say you missed him. His friends were surprised by his acts, because he never was such a wreck because of a girl.

"Y/N." Your dad got into your room. "I may sound selfish, but I want you to talk with Jaehyun. Semi finals are this weekend, yet he's really not himself. We need to win and I know to you I'm an asshole but please."

"Do you really expect me to talk with him?"

"At least show up on our match. He would be better if he could see you. Please. It's important for boys and for me."

"I'll think about it."

Your dad nodded and left. Of course, it was obvious that semi finals are important for your father as a couch. But you were still hurt. It wasn't even because of your father and Jaehyun, but by you. How could you believe Jaehyun would liked you? It was eating you alive. Everyone knew you went to prom together, yet he wasn't feeling you. That's what you supposed.

The door bell rung. You were alone, so you had to open the door and you saw two men. Jungwoo and Doyoung.

"I don't want to talk to you." As when you almost closed the door, Jungwoo stopped you.

"Y/N, why can't you talk with him?" Doyoung asked desperatly. "He's a wreck. I've never seen him like this before. I swear to God, it was out of context. It was bad timing."

"Look, it must be hard, but the coach wanted the best for you, and Jaehyun? He caught feelings! Can't you see?" Jungwoo hissed. "All he could talk about is you and how much he regrets not going after you."

"We understand if you don't want to know him anymore. Okay. But please, Y/N, come on the weekend for semi finals. He has to give his best, but he's not able to do so."

Doyoung really was desperate for you. The look in their eyes could tell it was truth.

"I can come, but." Their eyes lighten up. "I don't want to talk to him. I'm doing that, so you can leave me alone."

Two guys hugged you and left. They were thankful for you.

Semi finals were about to start. Seouls University, coached by your father vs. Yonsei University. It's a big event among students. There were about thousand people at least. Whole area was occupied. Jimin and Sohyeon reserveted places for you three.

"Hello, finally."

"Here I am. Where's the guys?"

"They're going up."

You looked over at the field and there they were. Your eyes couldn't help but lend on Jaehyun. He wasn't able to see you. Deep down, you prayed for his best performance.

After first half it was 2:0 for Yonsei. Boys were throwing curses and were mad. Jaehyun couldn't score a goal at all. He was furious, and got yellow card for bad behaviour.

It was a break in between.

"You should go there, Y/N." Jimin said. "Jaehyun isn't going to score these goals, because he is still focused on you and he had no idea you came for him."

"I came because they all asked me-"

"Don't lie. We know deep down, you couldn't not come."

"Go, you have less than five minutes."

In your mind there was no other choice. You were running for your life to get down there for them. Jaehyun had to see you. You had to tell him to get it together. Tell him you forgive him, even though you don't want to.

"Guys, please! Focus! Jaehyun you are so close to score a goal, yet you miss every single time!"

"I'm sorry coach, I really try to."

At this moment you walked in. Boys turned their heads at you and decided to leave you alone with Jaehyun for a minute.

"Minute and I see you back."

"You really came." Jaehyun came and hugged you. "I'm sorry for everything, I miss you so fuckin much!"

"Jaehyun, get it together. You are supposed to be MVP. Please, it's important."

"I try to do my best but I can't focus."

"I forgive you. I forgave you long ago. I'm not mad about it anymore, so please. We're fine. Do your best."

"Thank you." Jaehyun wanted to kiss you. He needed that but your time was out. He had to go play.

The other half was different. Seoul University had ball longer than Yonsei. There was 15 minutes left and the score was 2:1. Yuta managed to score a goal few minutes ago. The longer you were watching, the more stressed you were.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Jung Jaehyun and Kim Jungwoo are running towards Yonsei. Wait, Jungwoo passed the ball to Jaehyun. He's close to scoring. Wait! Jung Jaehyun scored another goal! It's 2:2. One of the team needs to score another goal to win and to go to half finals."

Jaehyun did it. Just one more goal. Boys were faster, while Yonsei boys were already tired. They thought that your father's team would let go.

"I'm stressed. I hope they win."

Last 5 minutes. Jaehyun needs to score another goal. You were watching him closely. Mingyu was trying to pass ball to him, but he was blocked by the opponents. Yuta was trying his best to block other team, but it was hard.

Finally, Jaehyun was running as if he wasn't human. His speed was so fast, people didn't get what was going on. All of a sudden, Mingyu managed to pass to Jungwoo and he passed to Jaehyun.

Goal. Jaehyun did it. Time is over and Seoul University won 3:2. They're going towards finals!

"OMG THEY DID IT!"

Everyone was screaming and jumping. Boys were hugging each other and were about to give speeches through the microphones.

"I'm proud of my boys." Your dad appeared on the big screen. "I taught them well and now they won again. I love them as if they're mine kids. Congratulations boys, we got it!"

"Yuta Nakamoto, how do you feel after this win? You scored first goal for your team, you must be proud!"

"Fuck yeah! We did it! Again!" He was screaming. "We're not stopping anytime soon! We're not afraid of anyone, I'm sure we're going to win South Korea Football Competition. I know it!"

Few boys gave intervies until it was turn for Jaehyun. Your hearbeat was as fast as Jaehyun during the match.

"Jaehyun you won MVP today! You scored two goals giving your team to chance to move forward. What's your thoughts?"

"It's not thanks to me but thanks to the whole team. Our teamwork is amazing and we did it. We really are the best! I love my boys! I'm grateful I can do it with them and celebrate!" He took a microphone from a journalist hands. "Excuse me, but I have to say something to someone I hurt really badly. Y/N." Your heart stopped for a second. "I meant to say it long time ago. I think I'm in love with you. I know I was an asshole and now you're propably embarrassed as fuck, but please. I love you. I miss you everyday. I miss those little dates. When Jungwoo had asked us if we were dating, I'd like to answer yes. I wished to. I wasn't sure of your feelings. I know I fucked up big time, but please. Can you forgive me for real and talk to me?"

"Yes, Y/N, wherever you are, please come down to us and get your man!" Journalist shouts to the mic.

Your friends pushed you to make you move. You ran towards Jaehyun. It was crazy. Jaehyun loved you. He really did. You ran towards his arms and hugged him.

"I forgave you. I think I love you too."

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?"

Instead of answering you kissed him. Everyone was cheering for you, but both of you were too busy with each other.

"Yes. Of course, yes!"

[jujutsukgojo]

My gifts to you

feitan portor x reader

Summary: You knew him for years for only moments at a time. Yet, you take it upon yourself to love and mourn him anyway, even when the world won't. tw: light smut, slight yandere feitan, spoilers, mentions of murder, light angst, fluff(?), injuries, cheating, time skips an: didn't mean for it to be this long. Feitan is a bit tricky for me but oh well :) kind of inspired by criminal minds 'no way out'. 10.8k

“If you tie it like this, it should stay, okay?” You tap the boy’s foot. Although he is smaller than you in height, his feet are bigger. It’s quite comical but you don’t dare laugh. In this blasted city, you’d be bound to die for such a thing. Especially if you laugh at someone with crazy hair and carries a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.  

  He says something in a foreign language that you can’t understand. If you are correct, it may be inverted Japanese. In the books that one kid collects, there is a country, Japan, where the common language originates. Since the common language isn’t his mother tongue, it makes you wonder where he’s from and why he’s here. 

  The boy stands up to his full, but short, height. You sit on random rubble and look up at him, waiting for what he’ll do next. Will he call over Phinks or even bring Uvogin? He hangs out with Phinks mainly but who knows these days. 

   Instead of swinging the bat at you or calling over his friends, he pats your head awkwardly. You don’t make any sudden movements or noises. The boy leaves right after. A sigh escapes your lips after he leaves you behind.  

   What's his name again? Feitain? 

__________

  In your hut, you slightly stir the food that sizzles in the pan you found. It’s rare to come across tomatoes and eggs but you managed this time. The smell is mouth watering. You hope no one else can smell it. 

As much as you want to live elsewhere, this is what you settle for at the moment. In another world, you’d be out of this city and somewhere clean and safe. Like the church or something. No, even better than the church. You’ve heard of the outside where there are bright flashing lights and diamonds and pearls on people’s necks. There are flowers of all colors out there. Different shapes, smells, and meanings, they’re all beautiful. You hear that food isn’t scavenged but bought or given to people without a price.  

   People said they’ve seen the safety of children your age that play without a care. There are parents for the lost kids and doctors for the injured. Clean clothes and showers on the regular. You can even see the sun clearly and the big, round moon that doesn't bring out the wolves in men. 

There are pastors and priests that don’t turn people away, either. Hell, you have even wondered if there were schools there that allow everyone to get in. You're sure that you are reading and doing math wrong. How embarrassing.  

Finally done, you place the food on a plastic plate you found. You made sure to wipe the grime off the plate and rinsed it with clean water before using it. Even though you can just eat out of the pan, you want to seem sophisticated like the outside. They don't eat out of pans or use dirty plates. 

  The food steams and is welcoming. Without a lot of utensils, you pick at it with your hands. It burns at first but you’re too hungry. The flavor bursts in your mouth. Even without the proper seasonings, it’s still heaven. You haven’t eaten in a while so you’ll take what you can get.  

   Suddenly, the boy, Feitan, enters your hut. You gasp and protectively cover your food. He brings his foot out. His shoe, which he stole, is untied again. You swallow the substance and point out, “I taught you how to tie them.” 

“Tie.” 

“I taught you.” You set your plate down.  

“Tie.” You roll your eyes and pat your thighs. He walks over to you and places his dirt caked shoe on your lap. Slowly, you tie them.  

“There, see? Come on now, you need to learn. A little boy can’t grow without tying his shoes.” 

“I’m not little boy.” You give a breathy chuckle. “Of course you are, honey.” 

  He leans in close to your face. “I’m older than you.”  

...He does hang out with Phinks, who is a couple years older than you. In fact, it is rare to see them apart. Is it possible that it’s true? Is Phinks the type to be friends with someone who is younger?

 Curious, you ask, “Then why are you so short?” His eyes widened in shock. Then, strangely, he laughs while patting your head harshly. Studying his face revealed what looks like the beginning of a sinister smile.

  He looks at your plate and sits down in front of you. You’re both on the dirt floor. 

 “Give me.” You scoff and snap at him. “No! Find your own!” 

The little beast decided that the two of you should ‘share’. He smacks on his food, making you want to punch him repeatedly. He’s gaunt and bony, but not really bad like last time. His face has a tiny bit of roundness to it. 

  “Stop staring.” He inhales a tomato. “You look better than last time.”

“Better?” He cocks his head to the side. The remnants of the tomato smeared a little on his cheek.

“Yeah, healthier.” He stares at you for a second. “Thanks.” His accent is thick, and you still can’t place it. Nevertheless, you understand. Afterwards, much to your surprise, he sleeps in your hut now that his belly is full. Satisfied and strangely not afraid, you follow suit. It’s nice to have a friend, however strange.

You are barely awake, sleep still heavy in your eyes, when you see him pop up. Drool is crusted on his cheek, and he rubs his eyes. He yawns and then spots you next to him. Feitan eyes the entry of the hut then back at you. He puts the only cover you have on you then pets your head. 

  Before he leaves, he places his bat in your hand. Feitan secures the entry as he exits the hut. 

_____________

  It’s been years since you and Feitan have talked. You've gotten familiar with him but when Sarasa had died in such a disrespectful and gruesome way, he withdrew. In the meantime, you waited for him and studied a power you discovered. No matter the eyes that were always on you, you didn’t care about the mysterious and hidden audience. 

  You don’t know what it’s called but it started when you witnessed some kid about to get her ass handed to her by some thugs. The man had moved a pair of scissors without using his hands. They aimed right towards her and in a moment of instinct, you rushed to push her out of the way. Unfortunately, the scissors stabbed you in the shoulder.  

  It was then did you feel the rush of a force so strong, that it knocked everyone away from you. A faint white light that glowed from your skin that only your eyes could see. As you looked around in shock, you saw that same glow coming from that man and his friends. 

  You were gasping when you fell to your knees. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t be here!” The girl your age ran for her life and left you behind. In a moment of fear, you call out to her to help you. You were so afraid; you couldn't tell if the screams were hers or yours. Given the situation, you were too rattled, terrified and hurt, to focus.

The men shook for a second then got up to face you. The blood from your shoulder wasn’t stopping its flow. Crimson red stained your clothes and the ground. It was all so strange, such an unusual feeling of adrenaline that you couldn’t help but memorize. Almost as if the world had finally made sense. Every single thing became so much clearer to your dismay.  

  The men came towards you with malicious intent. While putting pressure on your injury, you managed to kick one of their legs, causing them to buckle and hurt his knee. He screamed in agony. 

  “G-get away!” You try to stand. The press of your hand on the wound isn’t helping. Is it supposed to bleed this much? It hit your shoulder, but did it nick something?  

  You need to stop it, to heal and get away from them. In this city, people like you are in danger from men like them. If you don’t get away, you’ll end up like Sarasa. She was never really close to you. She was a nice girl who always looked for video tapes, so you'd help her from time to time. Yet, her death scarred everyone since it was so close to home. And now, you no doubt are facing the exact same situation. Wrong place, wrong time.  

   Same fate.  

You fell back on the ground and looked at the sky. It has always been so dirty, just like the city due to pollution. Still so young, you know you won’t see what it really looks like. In the corner of your eye, you spot something green. A small clover with four leaves. 

  One time, an old man told a story of how four-leaf clovers are a sign of good luck. By the intense feeling and pressure of your eyes, you know it’s not true. Pain in all ways makes tears fall from your eyes. Lips wobbling at how unfair everything is and that you will never see the sun. The outside must really be heaven, and for someone so young who hasn’t committed a sin, you are wondering if you can go.

  Suddenly, flowers that you never knew blossomed around you. The soft petals touched your filthy skin and got rid of the aches. The blood on your shoulder faded from view as well as the pain. A soft and beautiful hum whispered in your ear. You truly believed it to be in your head, an imagination of paradise as you leave. Heaven, they call it. You must be close to the outside world then. 

  This must be it, you thought. There was no pain from a strike or fear. Just closed eyes and peace. Something you know you couldn’t get in the atrocious city.  

It ends. You were shocked as the beautiful flowers disappeared. Heaven, would you reject someone? 

  The men didn’t hurt you. The one whose knee was broken was able to move his leg. His red hair kind of glowed in the sun, and brown eyes were wide. He muttered a soft ‘thank you’ and walked away without a limp. His friends followed.  

   After that, you had realized that your ability wasn’t anything like scissors or something scary. It was to heal and be healed.

Although after immediately learning this, you didn't go out of your way to find the source of the screams in the direction the people went. First was the girl, then the group of men. After what you went through, it didn't seem like a good idea. 

 Feitan, somehow, got wind of it. Now in his later teen years you both estimate, he sits still and points to his arm. There’s a gnarly gash oozing blood. You wonder how he’s not feeling this and if he is, how he isn’t even fazed.  

  You gently pick up his arm and inspect it. He's thin but has clear definition in his arms. You haven’t seen him in so long that you are surprised by his growth. Hell, he’s taller now. Still short, but at least he grew.  

  In a jar, you take a premade petal. This is a way for you to save energy and reach people when you physically can’t tend to. Acting as a pill, you make sure that people can get infections out. For some reason, illnesses and infections are particularly tricky and tiring for you.  

  “Eat this, Feitan.” He frowns. “No.” You sigh. “It’s infected. You need to eat this so I can heal it right.” 

  “It’s not.”   

Rolling your eyes you bring his wound to his face. “This, this is infected. It's literally oozing pus.” How long did this go on? Was he really that hesitant to just come and see you?

  He growls and takes the delicate petal and places it in his mouth. “Stop pouting.”  

“Not pouting. It’s nasty.” He’s not wrong. It has a bitter taste and when chewed, a slimy texture. The color of the disintegrating petal leaves a stain in the mouth as well. If not for the benefits, no one would even bother. They'd be just as offended as Feitan.  

  The pus stops and clears up. “Alright, this’ll leave a scar.”  

You blow on your hand so that flowing blossoms surround him. Beautiful shades of pink and white go through his hair. With a gentle caress, you see the flurries touch his wound. It starts to encourage his own healing.  

  As much as you want to do the full thing, you’re tired. All day you’ve been working and collecting payments. Not to mention facing the disappointment of them being useless. You want to kick yourself for not getting paid first. But the sight of those grateful people and healed kids softens your heart.  

  Soon, it stops once the injury becomes manageable. You’re about to wrap it when a hand stops you. “What’s this?”  

  “Feitan, I'm tired. You caught me at a bad time.” You try to move your hand but he stops you. He's a lot stronger than you remember. “Heal.” 

His fluency isn’t the greatest still.  

“I’m tired! Just let it heal the rest of the way.” No matter how much you try to yank your hand away, his grip is too strong. “Please, Feitan...”  

  Surprisingly, he lets go and from what you can see, the subtle white glow appears and heals him the rest of the way, leaving small flames. “Feitan...what was that?” 

  He rolls his eyes and plops down on a chair. He says nothing and just relaxes, or at least that’s what he’s trying to make it seem like. It has been a while since you’ve seen him, but that doesn’t make you blind to his behaviors…sometimes. 

   “As a transmuter, I can heal a little by using enhancer,” He looks at you suspiciously. “You know nothing about nen?”

“Nen?” You put the gauze and other items in a black bag. It was found in the safe zone by the church. Apparently, it belonged to a doctor from the outside. The bag had all kinds of necessities. Gauze, medicine, some syringes, disinfectant, a thermometer, all kinds of stuff that you’ve had to use sparingly. What you save in the bag, you make up for with your ability. 

  He smacks his lips and calls you a ‘dumb brat’. “You use nen but don’t know it?”

Sighing, you ask, “What is nen, Feitan?” 

“What you do. Use your aura and stuff.” His arms are crossed, and he looks at you expectantly. You gather that he likes knowing things you don’t. It’s like a weak power trip. 

  But it is nice to finally have a name and explanation for it. And that’s what he did this time. Visiting you for a moment just to pick with you while teaching you something you should have known. 

“Wait, if you could do that, why’d you come here?” He just shrugs.

------

When you see him again, he brings his friends along. You immediately recognize some of them. Phinks, who ran with Feitan, the boy who always collected books, and Uvogin, the giant who was always claiming territory and beating people up. 

  Feitan should be twenty now. It’s hard to tell since he looks youthful. He points to his friend, the boy with the books, and orders, “Heal.”

“You can do it, Feitan, remember?” You were in the middle of cleaning when he and the rest of his posse pop up. They look flustered and a little worse for wear. 

  “Heal.” He always does crap like this. You roll your eyes at first. The body they carry tugs on your strings a bit. 

“Fine. Put him on the table.” Thankfully, it’s cleaned, and a new wrapping has been placed on it. Gently, the man is put on it. You spot the cross tattoo on his forehead. Ah, that’s where Feitan has been. Lately, there’s been whispers of the Phantom Troupe. Merciless killers and thieves from Meteor City that have been gaining respect over the years. Your opinion of them isn’t the greatest but it also isn’t the worst. You appreciate them for standing up for Meteor City, but their methods are questionable.

   You sigh and begin to undress the boy with the cross. “Is that necessary?” 

You continue to pull off his clothes, not bothering to answer the question the girl asked. If she can’t understand why you need to remove his clothes, then that’s on her. She scoffs after another female voice answers her question. 

  You finally see his wound. Feitan can heal himself to a degree, but you don’t think this guy can. The gash is deep and sewed with makeshift stitches. There’s no nen involved, surprisingly. Given that Feitan is an avid user, you thought his friends would be keen on it too. 

“He’s a specialist. Enhancer techniques are harder for him.” Phinks spoke. He must've understood your confusion. 

“And the stitches?” You gently investigate the area. It’s an angry red around it and, like you suspected, infected. It wasn’t properly taken care of. You begin to remove the stitches. You wonder what the thread is made of and how long this has been going on. 

“He,” Phinks points to Uvogin. “And him,” He then points to another large man with long ears. “Thought they could do it. Normally, Machi heals us but they were away from her. Her stitches would have helped him but not any infections.”

  “Ah, well this requires more than I thought.” You touch the ground and out comes a beautiful swirl of flowers. Underneath the moving petals is a blooming sunflower. It picks the guy up so he rests on it. The bed of the flower glows softly and becomes warm. His once wincing face is now peaceful. His injury is slowly closing and the red is beginning to turn pink. 

“The downside of this is that it takes a while. It’ll be all healed up in about an hour or so.”

“ An hour?” Uvogin, who has abandoned his afro and traded it for long standing hair. “Feitan, I thought you said she was good? We could’ve gone to that one guy and got it done right then and there.”

“She’s the best. Wait.” His hands are in his pockets and he moves. Feitan looks around and touches whatever he pleases. You try not to focus on his compliment. You wonder if the reason he moved from your line of sight is because he got embarrassed. If so, you won’t tease him. The Troupe are killers, afterall. 

   You start to feel the weight of your nen. This technique requires more effort than the others. Feitan explained it to you but you never did get the hang of it. You just know what to do instinctively. You were proud that you could do any of this without a teacher.

 What you’re sure of is that this man, whatever his name is, is giving you a crap ton of money after this or there’ll be hell to pay. 

   You feel something tickling the side of your face. The wrapper is red and unopened. You take the energy bard gratefully. “Thank you, Feitan.”

A couple of the Troupe members complain about the time. Machi or Mochi or whatever, the pink haired one, especially complains and criticizes for some reason. You have never seen this person before in your life yet here she is pouting. 

  “You okay?” You see the blond boy with big blue eyes study you closely. He moves closer to your face. A smile never leaves his face. Before you can answer, Feitan, who hasn’t left your side since you ate the bar, answers for you. 

“She’s fine. I’m watching her.”

You hear a couple of snickers. Feitan glares daggers at the offenders. You take a deep breath and ignore the friends who decided to crowd inside your hut. The boy with the forehead tattoo lies peacefully. Although you are running out of steam, his wound is healing nicely. One of the women, you believe it’s Pakunoda, comes to you and bends down. 

“Can I get you anything?” You discover that your throat is absolutely parched. “Some water, please.”

  If you remember correctly, the last you saw of her was when her head was shaved and some outsider kid did it. She had always kept it short. And now, it’s on her shoulders and very sleek. Over the years she’s drastically changed.

  You drink the water, which to your surprise, is clean. “Hey, how did this happen anyway?”

  “Don’t ask questions.” Feitan quickly shuts you down. Before you can ask anything more, you notice the entire group of friends are quiet. 

  “It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?” You nod at the blonde boy with blue eyes and a permanent smile. Completing the hour, the tattoo guy is up. He’s immediately impressed. “My name’s Chrollo Lucilfer. Yours?” He puts out his hand for you to shake. 

  “Yeah, the book collector-theater nerd-kid, right? My name’s-” Before you can even answer, Feitan does it for you. 

  He gives your name and how your Nen works. He’s quick with it, too. You side eye Feitan for a second. “Thanks, Feitan. I, uh, really needed a spokesperson.”

“Ah, I guess it can’t be helped then, Feitan?” There’s tension in the air. It’s thick and heavy. By the looks of it, neither one is backing down. “Um, it’s not a big deal that he answered for me, you do know that, right?”

  Seconds pass through this. You look around for anyone to intervene with this. Whatever the hell is going on, it’s deep. “Since Fei explained it, why not have her join?”

“Positions are filled.” Chrollo still stares directly into Feitan’s eyes. Phinks nervously chuckles, once again trying to defuse the situation. “Fei, come on. No fighting. Right boss?”

  Suddenly, it’s lifted. Chrollo has what looks like a practiced smile on his face. “That’s true. That’s a rule.”

  Chrollo takes a glance at you. “She obviously means a lot to you. Clearly, she’s an asset, too.”

  “I’m right here, jackass.” Feitan smacks you on the head. “I’ll handle her.” 

  The others sigh in relief. Momentarily, you’re a little offended. “It was nice meeting you.”

They exit your hut right after, leaving Feitan behind. “So. those were your friends, huh?”

“Watch tongue.” You smack your lips and roll your eyes. There is blood on the floor and on the table. The furniture is in disarray due to all of his friends having no home training.  “I haven’t seen you in forever and this is how you greet me?”

 He frowns. “I say hello all the time.” You turn to him. “When? I didn’t see you.”

Feitan huffs and kicks the ground lightly. You get up to move the furniture back to place. Your movements are slow and everything seems so much heavier. Everything is swirling right before your eyes. Your head hurts and yet feels so light. Before you meet the ground, Feitan takes you to the couch and lays you down. 

  “I haven’t seen you in so long, little boy…” Those were the last words you say before you drift to sleep. 

Hours later, you wake up at the sound of birds. There is a beautiful blue blanket on you with golden yellow designs. It’s thick and so warm you could stay forever. You’ve never owned anything like this. 

  Slowly you get up and search for Feitan. He’s nowhere to be found much to your dismay. Last night’s conversation still stays with you. He insisted that he says hello all the time. That he sees you regularly, yet, you haven’t seen him at all. 

  The blanket, the wind chime, the medical supplies, the various decorations with stones, paint and if you weren’t smart, you’d say gold. Could Feitan have been the one to give you gifts? Silently watching over you and in his own way, saying hello? You have felt like you were being watched for years. 

____________

  “Do you understand why I didn’t welcome you?”

“No, and I never will. Now please, leave me alone.” You feel convicted by turning a man of God away, but can he truly be one when he left a child to suffer? You were in the cold, wind, and rain, alone in one of the worst parts of the city. All you had was Feitan, and he was there once in a blue moon. After the rejection from the church, you took it upon yourself to care for others as no one had ever cared for you. Although hurt and afraid, you chose not to spread that toxicity. You decided that no matter the size of change, it still works. 

 However, you will not fall prey to the same people. For instance, that girl you saved and this priest. How can he expect your services with no repentance or atonement? You forgive, but like hell will you forget. 

Damn…you were so sure you were over the pain of your past. That the change you made within yourself and how you treat people so no one else suffers like you, would stick. Alas, all it takes is one person to bring it down. You want to kick yourself because of the regression. Then again, the hostility isn’t your fault.

You walk into the hallway with small statues, stone walls, and large windows. The sun shines brightly through them, making the church seem prettier than it is.

“Please-”

“She said no.” Feitan stands with his hands in his pockets, the sun shining on his pale skin. It has been a few months since the incident with Chrollo. You haven’t seen any of them but have felt eyes on you, which you have deduced was Feitan. However, you learned the truth of the blanket. The name stitched on it belonged to an old clan, the Kurta, that was mutilated, tortured, and murdered by the Phantom Troupe. It disgusts you. The blanket is comfortable but still. 

Feitan, the boy who you taught to tie his shoes, gave you a trophy of his crime. You wanted to burn it, or bury it in the memory of the Kurta, yet you couldn’t. It’s a gift from the one consistent person in your life. Your protector and giver. So, you folded it and put it in a box. 

   Now, here he is like he’s done nothing wrong. Defending you and putting the man that’s been with the city for ages in his place. You’re shocked at his behavior. 

  “Feitan, surely you must understand!” 

“Shut up.” Father Rizole took a step back in surprise. Feitan was one of his regulars, if you remember correctly. This must be a surprise for the aging priest. 

You hum at the scene. Even though the rumors of what the Troupe has done bothers you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t opposed to the benefits. The priest backs up and sighs. 

“If you ever reconsider, please, let me know. We could use your help.”

“I could’ve used it too.” You end the conversation there and leave. Feitan soon follows you. He’s silent on his feet and very fast. Feitan was behind you but his quick feet caught up in less than a second. Now, he walks right at your side. 

“So, you just decide when you want to see me?” 

Feitan shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

Sighing, you turn to him and ask, “What do you need this time?” The lower half of his face is hiding under a plain cowl now. His eyes show all of the emotion needed. “I just hang out.”

  The sun is too hot for this nonsense. Sweat trickles down your face and back, becoming sticky. “So that’s why you’re here, right? I’m shocked.”

Before he can say your name, you continue. “Oh! And let's not forget the little massacre that took place, huh? Yeah, being used to heal your friend from that was really fun.”

“I didn’t.”

 You roll your eyes. “No, just that one guy. That’s who to you, again?”

“Boss.” You scoff at his short answer. Then, you think about the possibility. “Your boss? Then…doing that to the Kurta, wasn’t your idea, was it?”

“No, not mine.” His hands remain in his pockets. His hair blows in the wind slightly. You realize he hasn’t gotten a haircut in a while. 

“If you could, you know, go back in time…would you still do it?”

“Yes.” No hesitation, no thought put into the answer. Just a plain as day answer and a tone that leaves no room for an explanation. 

“So whatever he wants he just gets? As long as it aligns with your twisted mind, right?”

  His eyes grow darker. “I save you.”

You point to the church. “No, no you didn’t. That guy wasn’t going to do anything to me. I had it handled.”

Shaking your head, you go to leave until a hand wraps around your wrist. “Boss takes nen. I didn’t let him.”

  Was that what that was? That tension that day that was suffocating? Remembering that day, you start to form pieces. “Would he hurt you if you didn’t go along with his schemes?”

“No.” 

Well there goes that idea. “Nevermind.”

You try to yank your wrist from his grip, but it’s iron tight. “Let me go!”

“I protect you, always. Bad people here, everywhere. I get dirty for you.” His face is indifferent but his words give it away. The plea for you to understand and realize, dare you say, his devotion to his friends. Does this include you?

Is that what it is? What friendship, this connection is? You are aware of the deeds the Troupe do. You understand why they thought it would be a good idea (somewhat anyway). 

“Thank you, then.” He lets go of your wrist which was grabbed painfully tight. He trades that in for holding your hand instead. You are shocked at first, but if you make it a big deal, he’ll stop. You don’t want him to right now. 

  Not when you feel safe. You still want to kick yourself… and maybe throw in a punch.

_____

Apparently, the Troupe have gone their separate ways for now. They don’t cling onto each other for a long period of time after a job. It’s better that way since it has a lesser chance of them getting caught. They still hang out from time to time, though. 

For you, you managed to get out of Meteor City after the argument with the priest. Feitan had gone to do another heist with Phinks, if you remember right. You took that moment to skip town. You never wanted to stay in the trash, anyway. 

  And you were right to! Everything you thought of as a child about the world outside was true! Sure, people can be rude and things can be corrupt, but you’re fed and resting. There are bright lights and kind people. It can be clean and the soap smells so good. Just the other day you got to experience a nail salon. Rather than stealing from you, the lady next to you, Jade, talked about her family. Her daughter is Ruby and her wife is Scarlet. Jade and Scarlet want another child. You offered the name Emerald. 

  In Meteor City, you would’ve had to fight. Now, you are making friends and offering beautiful names. It’s a stark contrast that is fully welcomed. 

  The sun is bright and the moon is sometimes round. It doesn’t always attract evil and can sometimes sing such a beautiful melody. There are pearls and diamonds. There are seasonings that make the food taste unbelievably good. It’s all expensive, but infinitely better than Meteor. 

And Nen is a secret here. In the city, many knew about it and used it without discretion. Here it’s different. Like a secret identity for a hero. Your nen in particular isn’t used as much as it was before. Your ability was so tiring. Pretty and incredibly useful, but exhausting nonetheless. 

  It has been a few years since you saw him, but he’s seen you. He found you quickly, too. When you came home from your office job (which you are still ecstatic about, by the way) you noticed a new painting in your house. It was dull and in black and white. The painting is of a few plants that take the center stage. Actually, they’re your nen plants. In the background is what looks like your old city. Piles of rubbish and polluted air in black swirls. There are clouds above and a dark sun barely poking out. 

  It’s sad. Beautiful, but sad. You have wondered what he meant by it. You open the door to your apartment. It’s not much and one day you want to get a house. 

  The keys make a jingle when you set them on the countertop. The apartment is still dark, so you scramble to flip the switch. “Why you leave?”

You scream at the top of your lungs. Standing there nonchalantly is Feitan, who you haven’t had contact with in a hot minute. His hair is even longer than before. He wears a new cowl that has a skull on it over his face. His trench coat looks a little too big for him but he wears it well anyway. 

  “Uh, because I live here? What are you doing here?” You set your bag down and take off your short heels. Although he’s a murderer, you still feel safe with him. 

 He takes slow strides towards you. “ Why? I looked for you and you weren’t there.”

“You knew where I was. I got your presents,” You point to the painting. He hides his face a little in the fabric. “I like it by the way. Did you do it?”

“Shut up.” You sigh and walk into your kitchen. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

 You begin to wash the rice. Your eyes switch from looking down to taking obvious glances at him. Right about now, he should be in his mid twenties. It’s amazing how long you’ve known each other. You remember him as that kid who didn’t know how to tie his shoes and him teaching you about Nen. Time flies so fast when you least expect it. 

  You crack the eggs and whisk them. The sound of the utensil against the bowl and the sizzle of the tomatoes in the pan is all that is heard. Feitan doesn’t make one sound. He opts to stare at you working and even has a glint in his eye which you think could be satisfaction. 

  “Do you still like this, by the way? I remember you snatching it.” You try not to smile at the memory. 

 “I do.” He hovers in your kitchen, just waiting, watching you do all of the work. Stingy bastard. After adding the seasonings, you could have never gotten in Meteor City, you fix him a plate. He happily accepts it and sits down on the floor. 

“I have a tab-” Oh, the memory. Allowing yourself to smile, you sit with him and eat off of his plate. “We’re sharing. ”

 He gives a slight growl but doesn’t do anything. “So, what brings you by?”

“I say hello.” You hum with a mouth full of food. “Well, hello to you too, little boy.”

He gives you a light kick. The two of you finish the plate. Both full, you just lay back and talk. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“Not long.” You’ll miss him. “Running from the cops again?”

“Need to hide out for a bit.” You nod, accepting his answer and that your connection will probably always be sweet moments. “It’s nice to have you here, even only for a moment.”

  Feitan taps you again with his foot. “I’m always here. I say hello all the time.” You know and are fully aware of what he means. His odd little gifts decorate your house. To bones, to rugs, even a china set he stole. It’s routine for him to give you something, even when you don’t see him. 

“Even though you run.” He kicks you again. The more you watch him, the more your chest tightens. He’s the only consistent thing in your life. Everything is fleeting. Your job is new as well as your relationship with your coworkers. But there is a line with them. Feitan is different.

  “How long are we going to do this dance?”

“I don’t dance.” You roll your eyes and laugh. “I mean you coming by once in a blue moon.” 

  He shrugs. “I don’t know.” You nod. “Figures.”

He frowns. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, that this whole thing is tiring. You come and go like some kind of feral cat.”

  “So?”

You sputter, “ So I don’t appreciate it.” He takes off his long coat and reveals his chest, next goes his shoes. “I sleep here.”

“You can’t use me!” He gets up and goes in the direction of your room. “Feitan!” You pick up his clothes and set them aside. “Do you hear me? I wasn’t done talking!”

  On your bed is a sprawled out Feitan. He looks at you with squinted eyes. “Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

  Like always, he makes himself at home. You sigh, giving up on trying to talk to him. “Move over.” 

  He scoffs and reluctantly moves out of your way. You feel him tense up as you lay down. “This is my bed. I can sleep here.”

  You face each other as you lay down. Neither of you say anything about how close you are. This is probably the closest you’ve ever been since you helped him tie his shoes the second time. You feel his eyes on you, making you nervous. “Stop staring at me.”

  “Never sleep with someone in a while.” You know. The last time was with you, no doubt. At the time, you didn't think about it, if you remember correctly. It's hard to tell since it's been so long. 

“The couch is that way.” He smacks his lips. “No, you go.” You open your eyes. 

“Like I said, this is my bed.” Feitan doesn’t say anything about your ownership. Instead, he’s honest with you. “I’m tired.”

  Instantly, you start to feel a little bad. In the city, no child was ever able to fully sleep. It was too dangerous, especially in the more dangerous districts. Him being honest about his state, you take it as a step. 

  “If you want to, I’ll be on the lookout.” His hands are next to yours. You grab them, just like he did those few years ago. “You can sleep now, Feitan.” 

  You don’t know when, don’t know how either, but you two do end up sleeping. His eyes are closed and his breath even. Your eyes flutter open and see that he’s got slight dark under eyes and his mouth leaking drool. Feitan looks peaceful, sleepy, like he hasn’t done this in a while. 

  The next morning, he’s gone with no evidence he was even there.

_________________

  You watch on the tv screen above the bank about the attack on York New, a city not too far from you. The attack happened a few days ago but it’s still in the headlines. You don’t blame them, to be honest. It was an insane event that over two thousand people died! 

  You cling onto your boyfriend’s arm. He touches your hand reassuringly. His watch gleams in the moonlight and his suit is perfectly pressed. He's the entire package, he’s perfect. A good job, good manners, an honest man, and treats you well, too. He always holds the chair out for you and gets up when you leave the room. Just like a true gentleman. 

  When you first met, it was a classic coffee shop romance. Then it blossomed into a romantic and expensive dinner, the movies, a nighttime walk in the park, all of the classic dates. In every single one of them he was the perfect gentleman, the perfect man. You like him and how he treats you. How consistent he is. He's the type of man you can rely on. 

  Nevertheless, there is a bothersome voice in the back of your head that reminds you of someone he just isn’t. He’s not Feitan Portor. You don’t feel the contentment Feitan gives when the two of you sleep. You don’t study your boyfriend’s features like you did Feitan.

Dammit, why are you thinking of him? He’s not around and you haven’t seen him in what? Two or three years? So why think of him now. Plus, you haven’t received a gift or a ‘hello’ from him. For all you know, he could be dead.

  “Are you alright?” You wake from your thoughts and look at your boyfriend. His hair is dark, blending in with the night. Eyes kind and green, a Grecian nose, and average sized lips revealing a dazzling smile. Not only is the very essence of him suave, but his looks are also perfect. Tall and handsome, well dressed and a smooth voice. 

It's just that one five foot one pest that won’t get out of your head. 

  “Y-yeah just…it’s all so shocking. York New is literally over there.” You point past the river where more tall buildings reside in the distance.

“I know, I know.” He brings you in close to him. He places a kiss on your head. “Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you.” 

Suddenly, the newscaster stops mid sentence and gasps. Before you know it, the Phantom Troupe have been named the offenders that caused all of this. Two thousand people. Feitan, did you really kill that many people?

“I would like to go home. I don’t feel the greatest.” He rubs your arm, you still being tucked into his side. Your excuse was a lie to cover the gnawing feeling towards Feitan and his deeds. Although the Phantom Troupe’s original intentions were from a decent stand point, it seems they’ve lost their way. Feitan has lost his way. 

  The gifts have stopped coming, him no longer saying hello. After the last time, when you made him familiar food and sat in a comfortable silence, he disappeared. This time, there was something about it that hurt. Like he didn’t want to come around. He didn’t want to say hello anymore. Or perhaps, he died which if confirmed, you would ache beyond help. 

  “The Phantom Troupe is dead.” The newscaster said. The crowd gasped, shocked that the most feared criminals in the world are gone. Did you jinx it? Curse the little boy who needed you to tie his shoes. The boy who liked your cooking and made sure you rested. Had strong faith in you, never doubting. Protected you from the shadows and held your hand. 

  Is he really gone? 

You hide your face in your boyfriend’s jacket. Tears stream from your eyes at the thought of his grave. With the Troupe, his friends dead, you’d be the only one to truly mourn him. To remember his name beyond his violence. 

You clutch your chest. “Are you okay? Does your chest hurt?” He grabs you by your shoulders, making you face him. He’s such a kind, decent man. But he’s not Feitan Portor. 

  “I just need to rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.” You give him a chaste kiss goodbye. Once he leaves, your chest hurts even more. You slide down as you look around at all the menace’s little gifts. The painting, the skull, the windchimes, everything he’s given you. Why, oh why, couldn’t you stay here long enough for your gift, Feitan?

Wait, what could you have given him anyway? He’s a thief that takes what he pleases and has nothing to wish for. 

You lay on your couch and put your arm over your face. The tears refuse to stop for even just a second. You don’t know what you’re crying harder for. Feitan or the confusing feelings for him. Now that he’s gone, you can’t properly tell him. How can you explain it? 

  It’s heavy on your chest and tightens it. You want to feel his body heat no matter how hot the day is. There are no small flutters in your stomach at the thought of him. No, it's something in your heart. You want to stare at him, to memorize every feature he has. To hear his soft voice that is just a centimeter away from a whisper. Just melt in his touch, his presence. Wait, why is this happening? You barely knew him! Does that fact even matter though?

 You slip your hand in your underwear, still staring at the ceiling, sniffling at the news of his death. You imagine the future. Seeing him walk into your house and setting his belongings on the table. Wrapping his arms around you and kissing your back. No matter how long you’ve known him, his stature never fails to amuse you. He’d paw at your body, tearing off your clothes. Feitan wouldn’t hesitate to use his hands for your pleasure. 

  You trace your fingers in the direction you think he’d go. Curling your fingers inside, thrusting them in harshly, knowing that he can only be gentle in his own way. Your back arches from the couch. You swear you can smell him and the faint metallic scent that he holds. The feeling of his ragged breath on your cheek you could swear is real. 

  You moan as you take that jump you’ve searched for. Thinking of how good Feitan would make you feel. You're relentless on yourself, still going as strong as he’d be. Adding another finger, going faster and faster on your clit. Your moaning gets louder as the indiscernible amount of time goes on. 

‘ The Phantom Troupe is dead.’

You crash on the couch with one last gasp. The dream of the two of you ends in flames. The house, the passion, the years that go by in that home. Maybe even a child or two. Seeing him in the morning with a groggy voice is gone. Rubbing his eyes and saying he wants more eggs and tomatoes is no longer there.

  What would your gift be to Feitan? Memories? Sex? Food? Nothing fits. He can have those with anyone. 

  You slip yourself out from your underwear. It didn’t distract you. Perhaps if you thought of your boyfriend, it would have. But the feelings you have towards Feitan went beyond physical. What is this? What do you call this?

  Love? Time stops at the realization. It has to be that. That would have been your gift to him. Love. You cover your mouth as you admit it to yourself. 

'I love you Feitan Portor. I won’t forget you. I love your messed up hair and soft voice. For how you didn’t reject me when the world did. I will do the same for you. I’ll look past your torturous ways and miss you anyway. Maybe the world will curse you, but I’ll mourn you. Bury you so no one can spit on you anymore. I love you Feitan. 

   I’m in love with you Feitan Portor. This is my gift to you. For you to know that you will not be forgotten even though I never got to tell you, to thank you for everything. For leaving the baseball bat with me to protect myself. For painting that picture for me. All of the little gifts you thought I’d like, too. Thank you for protecting me from the priest and the wolves that hunted me every day when we were young.'

You stare at the ceiling till the earliest of mornings. It’s still dark, still heavy with the night sky. There’s some rumbling in the distance, a flash of light in the sky. You don’t bother to confirm anything. 

Just as you close your eyes, the window opens with a creak. You move your eyes to see the figure before you. The darkness covers it, only leaving the silhouette. “Why cry?”

You squint, trying to make out the features.  “Are you real?”

“Very.” It must be a lie. A cruel humor the world has. “Stop crying.” 

“I can’t. Not when you sound like him.” The figure cocks his head, that much you can see with the flash of lightning behind him. “Him?”

“Someone who can’t tie his shoes.” Your lip wobbles again. “I can tie them now.” The moon glows enough to show his face now as he steps up to you. Feitan’s delicate features peek out from his cowl. 

 You shake your head in denial. “It’s not real. It can’t be. You’re dead, Fei.” Your voice is hoarse from your sobs. 

  He looks shocked at your words. The man who looks like Feitan smacks your feet off the end of the couch so he can sit. 

“I’ll miss you Feitan Portor.” The longer you stare at the imaginary man, the more you hurt. “Well, stop.”

  He roughly wipes away the tears. “Ugly when you cry.” His face is close to yours. Since he’ll be gone by the time you come to your senses, you grab his face and kiss him. He sharply inhales, not expecting your sudden decision. 

  He growls against your lips, “Stupid brat.” 

  He feels real. He smells real, familiar too. You tell him such and with furrowed brows and a strong grip of his hand, he grabs your jaw and makes you look at him. “I’m real, you idiot.”

“They said you died…” You comb his hair through your fingers. It’s real, he's real . So, what’s going on? Before you can ask him, he cradles you. “Stop crying or I’ll go.”

  Your lips wobble at his threat. Rather than listening to it, you hug him. He nestles on top of you, hips placed between yours. He’s light, lighter than you thought so it isn’t a bother.

  “You’re so ugly when you cry. Don’t cry.” He holds you closer and kisses your head. Against your ear, you feel his lips move. You can’t tell what he’s mouthing. When the two of you comfortably slept those years ago, that was the closest you’ve been. Now, this beats that record. Face to face, body to body, and sharing breaths. 

  After a few moments of thunder and lightning, he kisses you gently. Not at all like the desperate one like before. Realistically, you know these feelings you have for him seem fake. You’ve only had a few moments with him. So, why are they so significant? Are they with him too? Is it possible that love can blossom quickly?

  Gentle kisses turn passionate, never wanting to separate. Little nibbles on the right places and sucks on all of the best ones. Clothes leave, not wanting to get between the two friends, those who dance around each other. For the first time, they meet. 

His hands reach your throat as he kisses you, making sure to give it a light squeeze. His weight is still on you, not hurting in the slightest. Feitan makes sure his hand reaches below and swirls his thumb on your bud. You gasp, surprised you were right about how he’d do it. Every ministration he does is exactly how it was pictured. Your hands don’t compare to it. Not by a long shot. 

  Despite his size, his hands are still bigger than yours. They reach deeper than you and are thicker too. In no time, you come, the bliss lasting a good minute before he sheathes himself inside. His thickness is more than you thought. It’s a bit of a stretch, but in a good way. 

  His gasps quicken with every thrust. You can tell that you're being loud, way louder than when you touched yourself. Feeling the rush and strength of his movements has you claw his back in ecstasy. He groans at the sensation. Finally, after this time of passion and intimacy, you both hold each other as you fall off of that cliff.

  Feitan looks into your eyes. With a softness that no one in the world could’ve predicted the torturer of the Phantom Troupe to have, kisses you. “Don’t cry anymore. Don’t cry.”

 “It’s hard not to when I know you’ll leave.” Silently, Feitan removes himself from inside you. It’s become routine, so you expect him to walk out. He lays back down, his head on your stomach. You run your fingers through his hair. He needs a haircut. 

--

 You wake up, not realizing that you went asleep in the first place. Before you can get up, you feel pressure on your stomach. Feitan rests on you still, eyes completely closed and his face peaceful. The two of you are naked and the only source of heat is each other. As much as you want to wrap your arms around him, you know he’ll react negatively or at least flinch. 

  Soon after, he stretches and rubs his face against your stomach. Like before, he drooled in his sleep. “Good morning.” 

He grunts in response and sits up on his heels. It takes him a moment to remember the night before. His eyes widen as he looks you up and down, making you highly aware of your current state. You cover yourself with a blanket draped over the couch. 

  “I have to go.” Ah, right. He’s a cat. 

He gets dressed. Once he has his boots on, you see him tie them the way you taught him. “Proud of you. You finally learned huh?”

 “Brat.” You laugh a little at him. Once he’s done you ask, “Will I ever see you again?"

He cradles your face. “I come back.” You nod, holding back tears. He studies your face and settles on your eyes. He must have realized that you were trying not to cry. His hands still remain on your face as he kisses you. He lingers there for a minute. A parting kiss, a meaningful one. 

  Something tells you that this feral cat isn’t going away anytime soon. That he’ll always be constant and you won’t be totally alone. A companion you won’t see everyday and only for a night. 

 This is the gift you’ll give him. You’ll be home for him. 

___________________

Months later, news about the Chimera Ants came out. You had already broken up with your boyfriend and heard he had left town to avoid them. Of course, you followed suit and got the hell out of there. 

  Without any plan, you moved back to Meteor City, where you thought that they wouldn’t be. Alas, that was stupid. You made a home base in the residential area. Not knowing that Meteor City was plagued by the wretched beasts. 

  By God’s grace, you managed to avoid them due to you being in the residential district. News that the Phantom Troupe were home to fight them ran rampant. The thought of Feitan made you nervous and you don’t know why. 

  Suddenly, right as you put away your dishes, the door opened. You grabbed a knife and faced the intruder. Standing there was the Phantom Troupe, who once again, barged into your home like they owned the place. 

  “What the hell?” You shout. The first one is Phinks with a wide smile. “There she is! Fei, I found her!”

  You put your hand on your hip. “Seriously, what are you doing her-you’re dragging in mud, take off your shoes!”

 “It’s only a little.” Phinks pouts. “I don’t care! You don’t live here.” 

Phinks and his friends grumble as they do as they’re told. The last one to enter the house is Feitan, who is notably holding his left arm. Without being told, he removes his shoes. 

  “Feitan…” He hasn’t faced you yet. “What happened to your arm?” 

“I’m injured too, (Y/n)!” The smiling boy with round eyes whines. You have no idea what his name is. Only that he and the rest are in Feitan’s gang. 

  “Alright, let me see.” He lays down on your clean table and says, “It’s all over. I need the full treatment!” 

  “Ugh, fine.” You grumble under your breath about the disrespect and your poor table. Finally, Feitan sits on one of the pushed aside chairs. He says, “I need it too.”

  “Big babies.” 

You heal the biggest cry baby completely. The blond, whose name you now know as Shalnark, stretches. “If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been hurting all day!”

  Rolling your eyes, you turn to Feitan who has been silent. He holds out his arm for you. You take the limb and inspect it. 

 “Completely shattered.” He grunts in agreement. He stares into your eyes and gives you a familiar slight smile. You notice that his friends are quiet, not a sound or word among them. 

“You guys alright?” You ask. The girl shakes her head yes and ‘whispers’ to the rest. “Should we leave them alone?”

  “Probably.” A mummy with boxing gloves answers. You’ve never seen him before in your life. 

“Uh, we’ll check the place out. Y’know, make sure it’s safe.” Shalnark shoos the little kid out and into a separate room, your bedroom. “We’ll clear this out in case you guys need it!”

  You huff and roll your eyes. Feitan’s cheeks are red and he’s glaring daggers at his friends. The girl goes outside with the remaining three to check the area. You and your feral cat are alone. 

“What are they checking for? I’m in a residential area.” 

“Ants.” 

  “They’re here? In the safe zone?” You begin to panic until he grabs your hand. “You’re safe now. They’re not in the city anymore.”

“Wha-how? What’s going on?”

  He pinches you lightly, encouraging you to heal his wounds. “Oh, right, right.” Flowers of all colors circle around. They begin to smooth over Feitan’s wounds. You take a second to wipe the blood off of his lip, letting there be some room for the petals to go. 

“How’s the other guy look?”

“She's toasted.” You smile. “Atta boy.”

  He’s healed, the petals and flowers disappear. You lick your lips at the sight of his bare chest. You didn’t notice before due to the audacity of these heathens barging in. 

  His heart rate quickens. “You leave again.”

You nod. “Yeah, yeah I did. I had to, Fei. the Chimera Ants invaded. I had to run.”

“With your boyfriend?”

You let out a small gasp. “ No. How do you know that?” He crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. “You lie.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just never said anything.”

  “Words of a liar.” You scoff at him. “I did not lie to you. I lied to him. You don’t have any business with our relationship.”

At first, he was looking at his lap. Those grey eyes of his immediately found a new target to glare at. “You’re not with him anymore. ”

“No. Why does that matter?” He begins to tap his foot lightly. “Why did you break up?” 

  “You hungry?” You start to get up until you’re tugged down. “Why?”

When you don’t answer, he whispers in your ear. “Because I fucked you?” Your face is so warm. 

“If we run, we can still make it out.”

“Why are we running?” A small voice asks.

“Because I think they need the room.” 

“Will you two shut up?!” You are two seconds away from running out of your own damn house. You stand and his hands hold you by your hips. “Tell me why you leave him?”

  “Because of you.” It’s embarrassing to tell him your feelings. Hopefully, he can read your mind or something and shut up. He sighs and stands, walking over to you without a hitch. He kisses you. 

  “That’s what you get for lying.” He’s not remorseful or even boastful. Feitan takes your answer in stride. “No more leaving. Stay so I can find you.”

“You’ll always find me, remember?”

______________

Time after that, you were stuck in charge of Chrollo’s lover or something. She’s not too bad but clearly traumatized. Anytime you’d tell her to go with you, she’d look shocked. Like she was surprised she could leave. You were suspicious of her relationship with Chrollo. Something didn’t sit right with you whenever he or Feitan came up. She’d tense up. She never talked about it either. From what you understand with the little information you have, is that she was a former member that raised an orphan and that Chrollo loved her immensely. Perhaps too much.

  From what you know, there was a big showdown on the Dark Continent and the boat that was taking a voyage to the fake one. The Phantom Troupe were on that one at first, fighting Hisoka Marrow. He was a sore loser that got humbled and decided to attack again. 

  Amazingly, only a few died. You didn’t want to know the details or anything. You can’t go through that again. So, after that news, you and Chrollo’s lover parted ways. She went on to find a kid she raised. You, on the other hand, decided to settle out of Meteor City. This was almost a year ago.

  You have an apartment now in the town where you and your boyfriend lived, right next to York New. It’s basic, not fitting any aesthetic or anything. The good thing about it is that it’s bigger than your first one. It’s two bedroom and has a good price. 

   Feitan hasn’t reappeared. It tore you to shreds. You’ve managed to piece yourself together bit by bit, but you are a hollow version of yourself. Surviving and not enjoying the little things you used to. You even saw Jade, Scarlet, Ruby, and the new child, Emerald. Even that heartwarming moment didn’t fulfill you. However, it was the first time you smiled in a while. 

  You stir the food in the pot. Since it’s a little chilly, you made soup. You put the lid over the pot, letting it cook. There’s a knock on the door. You open it and see the man you’ve waited for. 

  Feitan is in dark clothing and has a large scar on his face. There’s no cowl over him, or a large trench coat. His hands are in his pockets, and he looks at you expectantly. You realize that you’ve just been standing there, you move to let him in. Once again, he makes himself at home. 

  “How’ve you been?” 

“You leave again.” He states bluntly. His eyebrows are furrowed and has a frown on his face. 

“Bold of you, very bold.” You move around him. “Why did you go?”

“Because I’d never stay in that city forever. The Ants were gone, the world settled. So why couldn’t I? That place is gross anyway.”

  He sits on the barstool and cracks his neck. You ask a question right after he sits. “How long you here for?”

You don’t know why you asked that. He’ll only be here for a moment. A while ago, you had made the decision to accept it as your gift to him. To love and mourn him when the world won’t. When news about the Phantom Troupe hit, you couldn’t bear to hear it. Their trip to the fake Dark Continent, then their corrected course to the right one, ended in a battle with them facing Hisoka and Illumi and everything else over there. 

  It was too hard for you to think about. That doesn’t mean you didn’t mourn and that you’ve snapped out of it.

   “For good.” 

You look up into his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he’s smiling with soft eyes. You see that he has a dimple on his left cheek. “W-what about-”

“Done for a while. Maybe forever. I know I’m staying.”

   “But your friends, where are they?” He shrugs even though you see the tension. “Separate. We split for a bit.” 

  He rubs his shoulders nervously. “Can I stay with you?” 

“Wow, you’re asking? Shocked.” You tap on the counter. The weight you’ve been carrying is lightened. “Feitan?”

“Yes?” He gets off of the stool and makes his way around the counter. “You know how you give me all those gifts?”

  He nods his head. “Well, this is my gift to you, Feitan Portor. You can stay as long as you like.” 

  He wraps his arms around you. He’s hugging you. This time, you aren’t afraid to hold him back and squeeze. Maybe, just maybe, this is what home is? 

  If the Phantom Troupe resurrects, at least you know he’ll always come home. That you two will be a constant force for each other. No matter if it does or doesn't, you two aren't dancing but admitting things you couldn't. This is home, a gift for each other.  

[childotkw]

What would it look like if an actually Muggle-born Tom Riddle had worked his way up the Wizarding World hierarchy and become a Dark Lord and even more hypocritically implemented pureblood supremacy all while hiding his own Muggle-born origins? e.g. if he was the child of Tom Riddle Sr. and Cecilia the Muggle woman he was in love with before, not Merope.

I think muggleborn!Tom would simultaneously be worse and better as a Dark Lord.

For the better because he would have grown up wanted and loved, and far enough away from war-torn London that he likely wouldn’t be as controlled by his fear of death. His mental stability would be stronger, his emotional stability would be well-fed by his doting parents and grandparents, and his magic would likely have manifested in more gentle ways - floating toys, blooming flowers, making sparkles, rather than pain and violence.

But on the other hand, Tom wouldn’t have that innate ‘specialness’ that offered him some protection when he gets to Hogwarts and into Slytherin. He’s not a descendant of Salazar here, so he really is just a ‘dirty mudblood’ in the eyes of his Housemates. He would be bullied, targeted and abused until he learned enough magic to start fighting back.

And even then, it would likely take years before he tasted something even close to respect from his Housemates. His ambition, his need to prove himself, would be pushed into hyperdrive.

This kid would claw and bite and scratch his way to prominence, and he’d step over as many bodies as he needed to, to get what he wanted.

Tom’s rise if he was a muggleborn would be far more bloody and his hatred of purebloods would likely prompt him to be more open to recruiting halfbloods and other muggleborns.

In this world, I see Tom as bringing a tidal wave of change in favour of muggleborns - purely for revenge for how his pureblooded Housemate treated him.

He’s a petty boy down to his core, after all, regardless of the blood that flows through his veins. He’d find a way to make the purebloods kneel, even if his boot had to grind their faces into the floor for it to happen.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

What's Your Type? - Jabberwock Edition

This was originally requested by Anon who asked: "What kind of personality would each of the characters be drawn into?"

I had to split it up into a few sections, separating the boys by their houses so here's the next part. The links to all the others are below. I hope you like the headcanons!

Fandom: Tokyo Debunker

Characters: Haru Sagara, Towa Otonashi, Ren Shiranami x gn! Reader

Frostheim | Vagastrom | Jabberwock | Sinostra | Hotarubi | Obscuary | Mortkranken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What sort of personality are the characters drawn to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haru will definitely be initially attracted to anyone who has a kind and caring disposition. It’s not a requirement once he gets to know someone better but it’s something he notices straight away in strangers.

Since he’s a mom friend as well, I can see him being drawn to that in others. A small part of him hopes they treat him the way he’s so used to treating others.

If someone’s good in a crisis, it’s going to get them on Haru’s radar. So much is always happening over at Jabberwock and he needs someone as his partner who can handle that.

I think he would also be drawn to someone who’s more on the observant side. Always noticing the little things and helping keep everything and everyone running smoothly.

Towa’s a romantic at heart so he’s going to be immediately drawn to people who are romantics or who are very loving.

He’s also going to be drawn to people who are patient, especially in complex situations. He knows his lack of speech can be confusing or difficult so being with someone who’s willing to be patient with him is a must.

In the same vein, it’s really important for Towa that the person he’s interested in is open minded enough to accept him. That also extends to being open minded about other things and people but as long as you accept him, he’s fine with just that.

I feel like he would also be very drawn to anyone who’s a bit whimsical. He’s going to be offering you flowers to eat so if you accept the offer, he’ll be delighted that he’s found a kindred spirit.

First of all, you’ve got the be patient with Ren but in a very different way to Towa. Ren’s not used to being in any kind of relationship with others and he’ll take a while to get used to thinking about someone other than himself.

You’ve also got to be firm in what you want. Ren might not have much experience, but he’s got to learn somehow. Anyone who’s patient but firm will draw his attention.

I feel like Ren would also be attracted to anyone who’s particularly persuasive or is good at getting him to do things. It shows that you’ve got backbone and that’s a good thing in his mind.

And special interests are an absolute must in his eyes. He’s got his B grade movies and video games, the person he’s interested in has to have something they’re passionate about as well.

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Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.

ko-fi.com/justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms

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[behidethetrees]

LOVE IS ONLY A FEELING.

IN WHICH… You have a bittersweet reunion.

Pairing: Coriolanus snow x Fem! reader

Content: Ooc! Coryo (he's not evil), Covey! reader, They're definitely a situationship, Possessive! Coriolanus, 1.3k words. Requests

You were greeted with Loud clapping and cheering once you finished your original song at the nightclub. It wasn't often that people would stop dancing to take in someone's beautiful words, But everyone did for you. You thanked everyone and stepped down from the stage to get some water when suddenly a brunette boy walked over to you and asked for a dance. Of course, you agreed.

It had been months since you’d seen Coriolanus snow. He had gotten in a fight with your ex, As he was swinging, he accidentally hit one of the covey members with his backhand. You yelled at Coriolanus so much you were surprised your vocal cords were still intact. He never apologized. He never came back after you kicked him out. He had left you for months with bitterness and anger, But you couldn't hold onto that forever. You were done with Coriolanus snow.

The brunette boy was slightly taller than you and he danced well enough. Though His hands were sweaty and he messed up his foot placement every now and then. As you danced with him, Your long white skirt swaying, A drop of temperature in the room occurred, You knew right away that only one man could make a room feel cold. Coriolanus snow. The man that you were so hopelessly in love with but hated every inch of, Stood in the back of the room with a clenched jaw and eyes that could pierce anyone. All you could do was roll your own pair and abandon the boy you didn't even know the name of. 

The covey band was singing one of your songs And Coriolanus immediately recognized it. It was the one you sang to him the first time you showed him the big wildflower field one summer night. He had thought back to when you held each other under that green and yellow leaf tree. When he finally found you on the side of the stairs leading to the stage, Coriolanus swept you off your feet, Like he always did.

His strong arm gripped your waist tightly but he held your hand gently. You were close enough to smell him, he smelt just like roses. You had started to notice actually how nice he looked. He wore a black suit with a red shirt under and his curly outgrown hair was combed back. Was he dressed up for someone else, Or you?

You looked up at him Through your curled lashes, Your eyes were pure, as snow he thought. His upper lip slightly lifted into a small smirk. As the covey band continued, Coriolanus began to move your body with his slowly. Coriolanus liked you better like this. When you were hidden away in his hold, When you struggled to hate his touch, When he knows he's got you.

“Did you miss me sweetheart?” Coriolanus says with that sickly sweet smile. His tone was arrogant like he had no doubts.

“Not one bit.” You gripe back at him. You had missed him. Sitting by the lake only you two knew as you sang and he’d listen, Late night walks while his muscular arms kept you safe from any harm, The feeling of his hands. How rough and slim they were, You’d wonder who else's blood had fallen on them.

“Well, that's a shame because I missed you.” Coriolanus wasn't lying. He missed a certain girl waltzing around with long dresses and feathers in her hair, Those love songs she’d sing to him as she traced flowers in Coriolanus’s palm with her little finger, the security and comfort her aura provided him. 

“Then why didn't you come back?” You ask him. You can tell that hit a nerve by the way he swung you to the right harshly, then returned to slowly swaying side by side. Coriolanus didn't have a reason nor an excuse. He, who was so defensive, never apologized for anything. He just sighed.

“I waited for you Coriolanus.” You couldn't help the tears starting to form in your eyes. Every night you left your window open and a key under the mat. Waiting, listening, Hoping he would come back. Something about you calling him ‘Coriolanus’ disappointed him to his core. He felt his girl slipping from his grasp. He felt the only thing that had ever belonged to him was disappearing. 

It wasn't just your kindness and easily persuaded mind that Coriolanus liked. It was the way your big, curious eyes looked at his unforgiving blue ones like he was more than a poor capitol boy trying to carry on his family name. Like he had the chance to be someone to somebody.

He slowly stopped the movement of your bodies. “Look at me.”  Coriolanus was now gently cupping the sides of your jaw with both hands, Forcing you to look at him. You searched for something in him. The guilt in his eyebrows, the reassurance in his eyes, and the slight resentment he had towards you in his lips.

“I'm here now. And I'm so, so sorry I hurt you. I will make this right, you just have to let me, please.” Coriolanus Begged. You had Coriolanus Snow, One of the most intimidating boys in the capitol, Begging for a way back into your life. His forehead touched yours while he delicately wiped away your tears with his thumb.

His big arms eventually hugged your waist. He buried his head into your shoulder, taking in the scent of you that he was addicted to. You felt so close to Coriolanus, so vulnerable. You placed your arms around his neck. The warmth of your bodies rose, That feeling you both had been chasing since that night.

A few minutes went by as the covey continued to play. You felt the rise and fall of Coriolanus’s chest, His steady heartbeat thumping against his insides. Coriolanus picked his head up to say something. Coriolanus thought for a minute, His lips drawing together. No, he couldn't say that. he couldn’t tell her why he didn’t want to love her. That she’d be the only thing above him, the only weakness people could dangle over his head. That she would have the power Coriolanus so desperately wanted. But if he told her, He’d have to live with that for the rest of his life. The guilt would hurt him no matter how hard he would try not to feel. The regret would build up in his stomach but Worst of all, his jealousy would seethe through his veins and kill him.

The cold sensation of his hands on your jaw and neck swirled into your skin and down to your heart. He took a moment to look across all your features before he put his lip onto yours. It was passionate and long. He never pulled away because he wanted this so bad. he wanted you so bad. to have all of you to himself. his hands gripped tighter on you. His lips pressed harder onto yours. He hated that others were around while you shared this intimate moment. He hated that others were around you.

Coriolanus’s thoughts started wandering into the darkest parts of his brain. He kept his composure. He didn't want to scare you away with his mind because he didn't think he'd survive if he lost you again.

After you pulled away, he gave you a quick smile and guided your head back to his chest as he wrapped himself around you again. His chin rested on top of your soft hair. The lights glistened as you closed your eyes, Listening to a mix of the covey and his heartbeat. Sweet moments of Coriolanus kissing your hair and whispering sweet words blurred together. Coriolanus’s presence sent you in a state of euphoria.

Coriolanus knew it wasn’t over. He knew you, better than you knew yourself. You’d always come back to him and he’d do the same. You were his. This was a never ending story of you two. Coriolanus smiled. He got his girl back.

A/N: srry ive been gone writers block sucks. Anyways hope u enjoyed :3

Requests

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Imagine being Ruggie sister who somehow got in to night raven as a student and everything progress on and them as a Ramshackle perfect due to them being a kind person like Tanjiro and strong yet but of a nerd liked Deku with a unique magic of growing plants

What's more she a home maker due to them living in the slums ( like meding clothes, cooking, fixing things as she can, using home remedies when sick and help their bother with the kids at home ) with Ruggie and too working hard to get out of there as they wanted to be a doctor

Let's say due to their genuine kindness Leona, Malleus, Idia, Jamal, Carter and Riddle have a unhealthy obsession crush with Ruggie sister who doesn't share the same romantic feeling and only sees them as a friend

Ruggie's Little Sister Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Perfectly built for Ramshackle, you happily take to it despite your brother’s insistence you stay next to him in Savvannaclaw. But you’ve never been one to listen to your big brother and you can definitely handle it. You probably fare better than the original in terms of dealing with Night Raven. Because you know how to sweet up boys with mean attitudes, maybe a little too well:

Leona Kingscholar

“Look herbivore, don’t try to boss me-”

“Who’re you calling herbivore!? I’m talking to you, about this lazy cat behavior!”

“Lazy cat-”

“(Y/n) please–”

“No Ruggie, you baby him far too much! I’m stepping in!”

He at first really hates you

Like really 

You do all the things Ruggie does just not for him

In fact you make him do things that make him tired

It’s a pain 

But for whatever reason he’s getting especially happy when you praise him

Only for you 

He’s violent with anyone who comments on the work you have him doing

Its the only reason he keeps in your good graces and thats enough for him

“I’m proud of you, Leona! Now come I’ve cooked up some fillet mignon and it has your name on it!”

“It better. I’m never doing my own laundry again.”

“Hahaha yes you will.”

Ruggie is nervous about this but appreciates you picking up the slack

It sometimes bothers him how much time his employer starts spending with you

But he’s not too worried Leona understands his desire to protect you

“Huh?! You got him to do that?! What should I expect, you are my little sister.”

“Don’t act like I’m not the cooler one of us two.”

Malleus Draconia 

“Ah horn-dude, I was just looking for you.”

“Horn-dude? And you were looking for me?”

“Yeah I was thinking of adding some gardenias, and maybe some vines for decoration. I wanted your opinion since you like coming by here so often.”

“The vines would pertain to a more beautifully abandoned image…but that might just be my preference.”

“Oh thanks so much, Horns!”

His crush is so obvious 

Talking about you often to his guards and mentor

And whenever anyone goes to talk to him he finds some odd way to incorporate you into the conversation 

Trust me its weird for everyone when he starts talking about you during potions when their dissecting magical creatures

he can’t stop trying to talk to you

But he usually ends up just staring at you from the distance

Waiting until your instincts pick up on his presence

And your forced to invite him to join whatever your doing

“Ah! Horns didn’t see you over there! Do you want in? We’re making paper flowers for the festival want to join?”

“I would love to!” 

“What?! Horns?! (Y/n) why are you lettinghimjoin giving him more paper!? I know what I’m doing!” 

“Sure you do.”

Ruggie’s scared out of his mind 

How did you get mixed up with this overpowered monster

He can’t do too much now without knowing he’s going to die

But if it means saving you from certain doom aka Malleus Draconia it might be worth it

Idia Shroud

“Alright that’s enough!”

“W-what?!”  

“No more games before you finish cleaning your room! Ortho and I can help but–”

“Actually (Y/n)-san, I recently pulled up a study that states letting children clean their own rules helps instill better habits when their adults!”

“Ortho!?”

“Oh great idea! Well we’ll be just outside! Come on Ortho let’s plan out our cosplay!”

“Yes!”

“G-guys?!”

He hates that you mother him

But he absolutely loves it when you mother him

He cries about being in the dreaded friendzone kidzone

But boy does he love the way you pat his head or let him cuddle into your chest

He loves the food you make during marathons

Or how you’ll let yourself be distracted by the games you really like

He gets drastic if you spend too long out of his reach

So he sets up cameras+ 

So he takes any opportunity to speak with you

So he puts others in horrifying accidents

“Heeheh by the time I’m done you’ll be the best girl-gamer in the space. And then it’ll be a given for you to never leave the ultimate guy-gamer!” 

“Ewww keep my sister out of your nerd schemes!” 

“Eeep! An enemy has appeared!”

Ruggie thinks he’s a nerd with no game

But nonetheless he knows Idia’s smart but not street smart

“Hishishsishi can’t set the trap if you don’t have the button! Hardly even noticed me swiping his gadget.” 

Jamil Viper 

“I appreciate the help, (Y/n).”

“Of course, you’re always running yourself ragged…I wanted to do something for you.”

“...I really appreciate the lunches you’ve made for me…it’s been a while since I’ve eaten a meal by someone else.” “Well just give me a call I don’t mind cooking for you or lending a hand.”

He’s smitten nbyond comprehension

Now going out of his way to hypnotize anyone else into a corner when it comes to talking to you

Its the least he does out of retaliation

He knows all his flirting and hints go right over your head

But your still cute 

Until you do get it he’s pulling the rug out from any and all competitors

“Hey (Y/n), why don’t you join me in the kitchen? Maybe, show me how you made those potato crisps?”

“Sure, Jamil I’d love to!”

“Ah ah! Not without me you’re not!”

Ruggie knows Jamil’s like him but smarter

Sly and sneaky

Powers aside Ruggie’s sure Jamil’s problematic for your safety

“Don’t think for a second, I’ll let you have them! I'm not that fond of snakes!”

Carter Diamond 

“Wah~(Y/n) you’re so photogenic! Will you pose for me one more time?”

“Well alright. If it’ll make you happy.”

“It’ll make me more than happy!” He loves how oblivious you are 

He absolutely hates it+

But your just so cute 

He guesses he can forgive it 

And hey while your learning the ropes he’s more than happy to keep you close

“Hey hey don’t forget to keep up our streak!”

“Streak?”

“Yeah we’ve been sharing our photos throughout the day of what we’re doing.”

“Yup! It’s a great way to keep track of her!”

“Ick-!”

Ruggie knows he’s slippery

When it comes to tailing him Cater’s good at giving the slip

“Not on my watch. I’m not giving you the chance, to trick my baby sister.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“That’s entirely unreasonable, I’m not doing that!”

“Grrr (Y/n) these are the rules I thought you would respect that.”

“And I thought you would know to relax!”

He thinks your sweet but totally unreasonable

So he guesses you both have something to learn from each other

You more than him obviously

While he doesn’t think highly of your brother he knows your different

And you belong to him

He’s not going to take ‘no’ for an answer

If this is a battle of wills he’d win it

Even if that means subjecting your bad influences to being beheaded

“Riddle! You can't just put that collar on my brother like that!”

“Yeah I’m not even apart of your dorm!”

“Don’t be mad at me for enforcing rules. I know you know the very least of the rules. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that your brother just doesn’t measure up. Which means you should leave him before he drags you down.”

Ruggie is peeved that such a prick is after his sister

But he’s not worried 

He’s definitely not cool enough to keep your attention

Not to mention he’s so easy to anger 

It’ll be fun to rile him up

“Hishishishi so mad oh so fast! You’ll barely survive dating them if your this easy.”

[kiwi-but-the-bird-not-the-fruit]

Male! Apple white x fem! Pond siren Reader

Part 2 soon

Prompt- apple and the reader have a project together.

She/her pronouns

Using [Name] as substitute for (y/n)

Eyes will be gold to give contrast to her or whatever swampy ish look I'm describing.

Slow burn?/He fell first she feel harder

Nickname for reader- (eventually)

[A few of the characters stay female and some are genderbent]

(Could be ooc for Apple White but eh)

Art not mine found on pinterest

__________________________________________

________________________________________

Ever after high is seen in plain view, birds are chirping,the sun is set high and bright by the beautiful blue sky.

There is chatter amongst students and plain old fun as they get into the school for another day of learning.

One of these students that were going into the school was none other than [Name] Song,Daughter of the pond siren, known for her entrancing song and tragic story.

[Name] walks up the stairs, her deep navy blue heels clicking the tile floor, she sways with her dark green short off the shoulder dress, brown leg warmers dress her ankles and drape her heels. Her long (h/c) (h/t) hair is decorated with vines with small lotus flowers that go around her head as a crown.

Her face is stone cold, her golden eyes gave a glint of mischief to the royals parting the way for her, her face immediately soften when she enters and is greeted by her friends Madeline Hatter (or Maddy) and Raven king

"Hey Sugarcube!" Maddie yells waving her arms frantically up and down, Raven smiles waving at [Name] " Morning puddles"

She laughs as she reaches the two "always with the puddles never anything better huh?" She fold her arms over her chest and sigh dramatically

"Hey at least it's original" Raven defends himself elbowing Maddy at her arm; he then looks over to the clock "Let's get a move on guys" he walks down the hallway the girls following suit giggling

The trio walk to class, Raven and Maddy sit together because of a lucky arrangement and [Name] Sat with Kitty which was fine. Kitty is fun to talk to.

"Alright students, today we are going to be starting on a 3 day assignment of groups of two" the class erupted, some in excitement and others in disagreement.

"Settled down,all of you" then proceeds to call the groups of two, and after 15 minutes she called

"[Name] Song & Aspen white, alright now get with your partner"

[Name] looks around her seat and sees Aspen already going up to the seat next to her, an excited glint in his blue eyes as he gets closer, [Name] was surprised how fast he got there with eagerness.

Aspen takes a seat with a big bright smile, "Hello [Name] happy to properly meet you!" He offer his hand [Name] placed her's in his and without warning he bends down to her hand and kisses it softly, his lips were soft a dusty shade pink, they lingered for a second more than he should have he then seemed to snap back to reality his blue eyes looking up at her and gave her a charming smile.

[Name] felt a shiver go up her spine and a flutter on her stomach but pressed it down immediately.

"Meet me properly?" She tilts her head up and smirks locking back to character, Aspen's face turned a bright red and he quickly hides it with his hand "yeah I've heard of you from Raven, but I've never had the chance meet you since you're always on the move it seems haha" he looked to side, avoiding her eyes

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you as well" she said then turned to the teacher who handed out a paper with the project requirements

"Make sure to get everything correctly everyone" the students nodded their heads.

[Name] looked at Aspen who was already looking at her "so who's dorm are we using?"

____________________________________

~At the end of the school~

After class the two decided that it would be Aspen & Raven's dorm they would work their project in.

[Name] actually felt very out of bounds, pretending to not be interested in whatever the blond prince was saying as they walk through the boys dormitory.

" I think this will be great getting to know you!" He exclaimed making the girl look at him puzzled 'why does he want to get to know me? I'm not that interesting am i?', [Name] grinned mischievously hiding her true doubt "Ooh do you know?" She nudged his arm making him flustered "yeah haha..." he went quiet "I think I'd like to know you personally" he admitted looking at [Name] his blue eyes showed ernesty in his words

It confused her in how much he was willing to show to others just by his eyes unlike her, she'd seen it a few times towards situations revolving Raven with anger and guilt or his royal friends happy and honest but how could he show her that it's not like they've ever interacted until now.

I mean sure [Name] saw him around and talking to Raven a lot which of course made sense, [Name] did sometimes get intrigued so naturally she'd ask Raven about the blond and then he'd tease her about it afterwards..

It's not like she'd want to talk to him or anything she's just curious

"Sure but I won't make it easy, i'm not going to spill my whole story in one go" [Name] stops in her tracks and smirks at the blond "I wouldn't have imagined it" He smiles,[Name] rolls her eyes.

Aspen grabs his key as they get closer to his shared room, places the key to the door unlocking it, he hold the door and motions [Name] to go in first "what a gentleman" she pokes fun at him "of course" he states 'especially for you' he thinks to himself

The two ended up sitting on the ground next to Aspens bed, they used their computers in silence both looking into the information about the subject they were given.

The project they were given (all different for each group) was about wishing on shooting stars and the history of them

"Okay so," Aspen started looking at [Name] "i got the first person in story book records to ever wish upon a star it's categorized in wishing star records volume I" he turns back to his computer, [Name] shuffles to his side getting close shoulder to shoulder and leans towards the screen, the blonds face is turned hot red 'she so close and her perfume is DIVINE' he took a hesitant breath in, he had entirely forgotten to breath while the girl was sitting next to him how stupid of him he internally shaped himself

"Oh I see that's actually really interesting blondie" [Name] looked at him teasing him with the new nickname she gave him "are we gonna split this information between us two or do you want to do this one and I'll do the other one" Aspen thought for a moment "we can split it,it's a lot of work just for me and we'll do the same for what you've found" he tried his best not to sound shaky

"Alright sent me the file, one sec let me get my laptop it'll be easier if I see what your writing so I'm not repeating it" you then come back with your laptop and sit right down, criss-cross thighs in full view your skirt rolling up a bit, your (h/t) (h/) behind you styled to be out of your face for the time being 'she's so gorgeous' the prince thought looking at [Name] with a almost admiring eyes ``do you need something blondie" the girl looked at him back "No no! Sorry that was rude of me" he quickly started typing aggressively trying his best not to look back into her golden eyes

"Pfft- hahaha" [Name] started to laugh "oh my gosh blondie- hahaha" she held onto her stomach "i-i am really sorry I didn't mean to I promise" he started to move his hands defensively "no no *inhale* Phew no it's fine but wow the look on your face right then-""stupid?" She shook her head "Adorable blondie,not stupid" "what" Aspen sat there dumbfounded

"Don't get your ego up but you are adorable" she re adjusted her hair so she could see him better "oh..well if we're complimenting each other, I think you're gorgeous" he regained some confidence and admitted what he thought but in a more tame manner.

[Name] stared into his blue eyes and for a moment she felt a sense of warmth within her heart a spark ignited "thank you..Aspen" she smiled sincerely for the first time since talking to him and Aspen noticed "you're smile is the most beautiful feature of you yet" he confessed tilting his head to the side showing his own smile to her "that's a first,i just don't know why but I have a feeling I need to tell you everything about me,to open up"

The two fell into comfortable silence "I'd love to hear every detail" Aspen took her hand in his and she smiled

___________. ___________

Soon these two souls will fall for the other one who's already there and one who will learn this feeling for the first time in her life

____________________________________

You better let me cook!

I'm not giving ya'll the full meal yet though, this is just the start

This feels like it'll be like the nefero x reader series but more fluffy!

[plasticflwrs]

⠀⠀   ⠀┈─ THE ALBATROSS ⠀⠀／ ⠀⠀ an introduction to oh deurim ( 2022 ).

"The notion of my future suddenly snapped into focus: it didn't exist yet. I was making it, standing there, breathing, fixing the air around my body with stillness, trying to capture something—a thought, I guess—as though such a thing were possible, as though I believed in the delusion described in those paintings—that time could be contained, held captive." — My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh.

WORD COUNT. 2.7k WARNINGS / NOTES. Mentions of Oliver's suicide attempt and references to Jiyeon's eating disorder. Let me know if I'm missing anything else and please enjoy! Originally posted in 2023 but almost completely rewritten.

At the age of fifteen, you are told your debut is postponed for ‘the greater good’ and that motivates you to become the best.

The real money wasn’t with Celatum anyway. They would always be the group left behind by your company and casual listeners. They were never popular enough and with the growth of better acts, it seems that they will be forgotten to the past, waiting for their contracts to end so they could go their separate ways or get kicked out trying. You aren’t missing much by the company passing over you, but it hurts like a bitch, to be passed up by some new trainee that could barely hold a tune.

It hurts and that motivates you further.

At the age of nineteen, you reach the top of every evaluation with ease. You are the perfect trainee—docile, open to criticism, and supportive of any plan that they have for you. You have perfected the art of singing, dancing, and even rapping to maintain that spot at the top of everything. The company figures that should be enough to secure your debut in their newest project and attempt to hold their own survival show. However, the stress of the competition gets to you, and you are left in the dust because of a bad call as team leader. You are branded a villain and kicked from the show with no mercy, back to the practice room with nothing.

You realize that being the best can only get you so far. You will need the help of someone else to get you there and suddenly, you are twenty-years-old and there’s an opening in Plastic Flowers. You are picked from a lineup of seven trainees to fill the spot left by Minghui following his dramatic exit and Shin Yeonghui choses you personally. Another boy, one you have never met, is put on the back burner in case the lead singer, Oliver Song, doesn’t return from his vacation in the States.

Yeonghui is excited to work more closely with you and she hopes that extends to her career as well, promising her big things if she turns this into something bigger. You don’t understand the double meaning behind her words but smile and nod instead, promising that she would not be let down.

This was your chance to prove yourself as something more than the ‘bitch’ from Timefighter and get back on stage—where you belong. Your piano skills are rusty, something you never thought to brush up on, but there’s always time.

You are going to debut.

Cheon Garam, your new manager, picks you up from the trainee dorm at four in the afternoon. Garam looks young, maybe thirty-one at the earliest, and has an interesting look with a short pixie cut and dark eyeliner. She seems nice enough and fills you in on the recent drama in the dorm. Apparently, they were beginning to worry about the future given the recent events with Oliver Song. The second trainee makes more sense.

“Are you excited to debut?” Garam asks, glancing at you for a second before going back to the road. “It’s been a long time coming, huh?”

You nod, “I always knew I was going to debut, the question was just when.”

“I do need to warn you though,” Garam starts before swearing at another driver in front of her. The other car had cut them off, but from the amount of curses that leave her mouth, you would think it was something worse. “Sorry—but things are gonna be a bit slow for a while. Oliver just got back a weeks ago and he might say he’s fine, but I call bullshit. That kid has never been fine. You’ve been filled in on what happened?”

You nod again, but don’t reply. It had been a big deal in the trainee dorms because all the girls had a crush on him. (You liked him as well and often tried to catch his eye despite the very public relationship he had. You would never admit it to the other girls, of course). He was the only idol that gave them the time of day and was often in their monthly evaluations, giving constructive criticism rather than barking orders at them. He was nice and actually understood what being a trainee meant. It was easy to like him. Seeing him back in the training areas caused everyone to jump in excitement, attempting to impress him and win some unknown prize.

“Good,” Garam sighs, “I didn’t want to have to tell that story again.”

Oliver Song was a train wreck waiting for it’s inevitable crash and that happened just a few months ago, kick starting this sequences of events. You suppose you have to thank him when he finally returns. Child stars are always the most vulnerable to these things and he was no different. The stress of the job and the death of his father had gotten too much. You heard in the lobby that he tried to kill himself in the old dorm’s bathroom, swallowed a bunch of pills and it was Serin that found him. After that, the affair went public and he was shipped back to his hometown of Boston with very little contact.

No one has seen him since the airport photos had dropped on Twitter and you figure that was for the best of everyone involved. There’s a piece of you that wished he would be there, just to see what he looked like on the inside and brag to the other girls when your cellphone was returned. You would know Oliver Song and the members of Plastic Flowers on a deeper level than they could ever imagine.

“I’m sure it was hard,” you comment, feigning sympathy to get some information out of her.

Garam nods, pausing to switch lanes for the fifth time in a few minutes. “I guess, but I’m not as close to him as they are. Just remember that when you meet the others, yeah? They’re going through a hard time.”

“I get it,” you shrug. “The trainee dorms were probably worse.”

She doesn’t say much else as you pull into the parking lot of a luxury apartment building. With their careers finally taking off, the members of Plastic Flowers were given a new dorm to celebrate the success of their latest albums, though it seemed to be redundant as they faded back into obscurity. With no new music to chase the momentum, they would be forgotten like the other one-hit-wonders and you hope that Yeonghui has a plan to combat this.

“Welcome to the new building. Everyone else is still living at the old place as we sort things out. We own a few floors of the building already and hope to move everyone over when they reach the same popularity. Eden Jeong and Kim Yuchan have their own apartments, though. We only manage their music careers.”

You nod along as she explains everything about the building. There’s constant security to keep all the fans out and away from loitering outside. None of them have realized that the band had moved, but that would not last very long. They were still public figures and the company needed to be vigilant. The apartment has five bedrooms, thankfully, and you will be free to decorate however you please. The elevator finally arrives and you make a note to find the stairs because going up three floors makes no sense. Your foot taps against the metal floor and the butterflies hit as you go to meet your group mates for the first time. It makes a dinging sound with each floor they move up and when the light flashes on the third floor, she fixes her posture and puts a smile on your face.

You have already seen the different rooms thanks to the few live streams they had before the hiatus. The living room was decorated by both Serin and Salem because they didn’t trust the boys to make any aesthetic decisions, which Oliver protested from the other side of the phone. It's cute with a color palette focused mainly on neutral colors and sage green as the accent. Pictures of the members and gifts line the walls from the few in-person fan interactions they’ve been able to hold last year. You plan to take down the big picture from their first photo shoot as five down tomorrow.

Your picture needs to be up there to remind both members and fans that you’re not going anywhere. Whether they liked it or not.

“Everyone!” Garam called and her voice resembled your old teachers—carrying with just the right amount of authority that it wouldn’t scare them. “Come meet Deurim in the living room!”

Following the manager, you take in all the different decorations that filled in the room. More pictures of them throughout their childhood and career lined the walls, there were plastic vines hanging across the ceiling with a warm glowing light attached to it, and an entertainment system. The place was obviously lived in and you fight the frown that threatens to appear. You needed to make your mark on the apartment soon.

Each of the members looks worse than the other.

Junyeong was the only one that seemed awake and aware of his surroundings as he took a glance at Deurim before looking back at his phone. He tapped on it, sighing at something that seemed annoying, while not even looking up at her again. Whatever on the screen was more important than meeting his new band mate, of course.

Serin was pale and despite her fragile build, looked more like a skeleton than human being. You can see the dark blue veins standing out against her skin and the way she pulls the navy blue sweater closer to her body as if trying to find more warmth in the item.

Oliver stands in a similar manner to Jiyeon, though he rocks back and forth on his heels as he obverses you, as if trying to remember something. You hope it doesn’t take long for him to remember your talents and what you have shown over the past few years. Better was a strong word to describe it, but he healthier than the last year. He was no longer blond and he didn’t look so dead behind the eyes anymore.

Salem hasn’t been sleeping. That was the first thing you notice about her alongside the redness of her eyes, though she looks determined to make it through this meeting without breaking down. She could have fooled anyone else, but you have gotten better at looking for these little details over the years.

“Hey,” Salem greets, stretching her right hand to shake yours. “It’s nice to finally meet you—uh, congratulations on making it into the band.” Her voice is strained as she says the congratulations, as if unsure this was a good thing.

“Thank you,” you smile widely at all of them and take Salem’s hand, making sure that you appear friendly and likeable. You’ve pefected the act over the years. “It’s really an honor to meet you guys and actually join. I’ve admired you guys for years.”

Jiyeon smiles back and acts as the buffer between all of you. Now as the middle member, she was going to be the mediator. “We’re really excited to have you,” she beams. “Though Yeonghui made the final decision, it was pretty unanimous that we wanted you in the lineup. You seemed like a good replacement for Minghui.”

Minghui.

The name causes any trace of the friendly smile to disappear. He had willingly left the band and they still thought well of him. You don’t like that and threw a wrench in your biggest goal: being accepted into the group. You know it was going to be hard because they’ve already been together for five years, but you selfishly hoped that the anger towards Minghui would hasten the process. That assumption was wrong, apparently.

You laugh the statement off and try to calm the simmering temper. “Those are gonna be some tough shoes to fill.”

Garam nods and clasps her hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Well, you guys welcome Deurim and show her around. I’ll see you all at eleven tomorrow, okay?”

Everyone nods or responds to her question just before Garam slips out of the door. Without that middle person, you feel off balance as the other four look at you, each one with different expressions between boredom and curiosity.

“Deurim, you’ll be sleeping in the room between Oliver and Jiyeon. It should be empty, but let me know if you find anything,” Salem explains. She moves easily across the room and puts on her leather jacket, stuffing her keys and cellphone into the right pocket. “I have some leftovers from lunch if you want them or you can always order up to the apartment. I have a meeting with Yeonghui, so I’ll be back later. Don’t do anything stupid.”

The last statement is directed at Oliver and Salem glares at him before he nods, the best response that she was probably going to get that night.

“Well!” Jiyeon says, looking between all four of them. “Why don’t we get to know each other?”

“I’m in.”

“Sure.”

Junyeong gives you an annoyed look before taking a seat on the loveseat. He grimaces as Oliver sits next to him, Jiyeon takes the armchair by the window and that leaves you with the other chair across from them. The set up of the room makes it feel like an integration instead of a conversation as you glance between each other, waiting for something to start the conversation.

“Deurim, why don’t you start since we know each other already? You play the piano, right?”

“I started learning when I was younger but stopped to try dance. It wasn’t until recently that I starting picking it up again and transitioning to a keyboard.”

“What kind of dance did you learn?”

“Ballet.”

“Junyeong might finally have some competition,” Jiyeon joked, tapping him on the shoulder.

“No, I don’t,” Junyeong said, his nose turned up and glancing fully at Deurim this time. “I’ve judged her evaluations and there was nothing special.”

In that moment, you realize you might hate Kang Junyeong more than Minghui.

“I find that hard to believe,” Oliver argues. It’s the first thing he’s said since you got here and he was defending you. It almost makes you smile. “I sat in on them too and I thought she was pretty good.”

Junyeong shakes his head. “You know nothing about dance. You think that Chaeha is also talented.”

Kwon Chaeha had somehow debuted before you as Yuel as Velvetine and was one of the least talented people you had ever met. She was one of those filler idols, just placed in the group because they were pretty and would bring in money from commercials and acting. She wasn’t there to sing or dance, she was a glorified model. The comparison is not fair.

“Well, she’s certainly trying and I think that you can relate to that, Junyeong.”

Junyeong only shows emotions through his eyes, seemingly having mastered the ability to keep his face blank in any situation. They squint just a fraction and that’s the only tell that he has any reaction to Oliver’s comment. It’s no secret that Junyeong was a poor drummer, but he’s gotten better over the years. He turns towards the other and says, voice just as blank as his face, “you also tried something new and failed recently, but I haven’t said anything.” With that Junyeong gets off the couch and stalks into his bedroom, making sure to slam the door with all of his power for dramatic effect.

You play dumb for Oliver and Jiyeon. You wanted to hear everything from their perspective to see how drama tricked down and across the company. You needed to know the real story. “What’s he talking about?”

Jiyeon’s smile becomes strained as her attention turns back to you. “It’s nothing. Just something stupid that happened last year,” she shakes her head and stands up. “C’mon—I’ll show you to your room.”

You follow quietly behind her, glancing back at Oliver at the couch just before turning the corner. He hasn’t moved from the spot and glares a hole into the wall above him, as if trapped in his own thoughts. A sigh leaves your lips as you finally look away, pretending to listen to whatever Jiyeon was talking about. You nod along and hum in agreement at the perfect times, instead focusing on what you’ve learned about the members of Plastic Flowers—your new band mates.

[nburkhardt]

Somebody Loves You, You Got A Friend (part 2)

(Part one)

It’s been nearly a week since everything was flipped and he’s no longer “King Steve”, no longer friends with Tommy and Carol, them jumping ship when Billy rolled into town.

Without a girlfriend or friends, he’s a little lonely right now.

Calling the number on the matchbox is easy, especially when it’s only his mom and him in the house today, so he grabs hold of the phone and dials it.

“Munson Residence, if this is Hagen again, I’m gonna hang up” a smooth voice floods his ear and he’s so glad his mom is working outside, because the sharp intake of breath would’ve had her eavesdropping immediately.

“Uh, hi, it’s- it’s Steve, Steve Harrington” he stumbles over his words, “you- left your-“

He’s interrupted by a chuckle, “I’m surprised you even called, Harrington.”

“Why would you give me your number if you didn’t think I’d call?”

“Considering you were sobbing like crazy, dude. I’m surprised you even got home, I realized after I should’ve driven you home. But, I didn’t think you’d like being seen with the resident freak”

Frowning, he looks out the window to spy on his mom, she’s too busy with her flowers. “Truthfully? I don’t give a shit who I’m seen with. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m on the bottom of the totem pole”

A snort, then continued laughter is filling his ear and he’s smiling like an idiot. Clearly, he’s been in the wrong crowd since school started. Because that laugh? He would absolutely kill to hear it every day of his life.

“Aren’t you a surprise, your highness. How about this, you come over and we’ll do a trail run. Sound good?”

He nodded, like an idiot. A smile growing on his face and he only knows this because his mom is inside and laughing at him. Scowling at her, he forces himself to talk, “sounds great, I’ll be there”

Eddie responds with a ‘see you soon’ as he hangs up and Steve just scowls at his mom as she walks up to him, “aren’t you adorable when you’re flustered”

Groaning, “I’m not flustered! I’m- anyway! I’m going to a friends place”

She laughs again, kissed his forehead and went on her way to shower. “Have a good time and remember to be safe!”

Throwing his head back with a groan, he went on his way to his own room to get properly dressed yelling out an ‘I love you and be home later’ to her as he walks out the door and into the unknown.

The test run, as it turns out was an amazing time. Despite running in different circles, having nearly nothing in common, they get along so well, it’s almost scary. Eddie’s all metal and nerdy, while he’s all pop and sports.

Truly the odd couple.

———

Rumors at school immediately spread wild and fast.

Not that he cared, actually, he and Eddie make it a game. Who can hear the wildest one, so far, Eddie’s heard that Steve is buying his friendship. Which, rude.

Steve will freely admit, he’s never had this much fun in years. His mom even admitted this is the happiest she’s seen him in a while and she’s happy to see it. (His dad is, of course, disappointed to hear about the lack of Hagen friendship. But doesn’t say anything else, thankfully.)

After only a week, he decided to introduce his mom to Eddie and eventually it’ll be a mistake with the two teaming up against him. But after the dinner, he’s unfortunately embarrassed by his mom talking and showing baby Steve to his new friend.

If he’s being honest, which he tends to be, he hopes Eddie is more than a friend someday.

And once Eddie is heading home, his mom corners him and he can see the twinkle in her eye. “That boy, is an absolute delight! A way better fit than Nancy, sweetie.”

Has Steve mentioned how much he loves his mother? Because truly, if anyone understood him, it’s her.

They don’t say anything more, because really, they don’t need too. They’re comfortable right now and life is so much better when they’re happy.

—

Ending it there for now :) again, this story is mostly slice of life with honestly no real plot to it. It was originally just a fun story I was writing for myself because at the time it was alllll I wanted and there wasn’t many fics with the exact thing I wanted. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!

Any questions or if you see any mistakes let me know!! If you wanna be added to the tag list, I can do that ☺️

Taglist: @spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @zerokrox-blog @callme-keys @maya-custodios-dionach @rajumat @yellowdevilkitten @munsonfamilyband @steddierthings

[lostuntothisworld]

A List of ML Crack Theories I Am Considering

The moon represents Adrichat, and not the Love Square or LadyNoir like the fandom theorizes

Anne-Jeanne Theoxanne du Bocquale is a time traveling adopted daughter of Lukadrien Adrienette

Bob Roth is gonna make good on his promise that Luka is going to sing for him no matter what.

Adrien's bedroom in the Agreste Mansion was originally the Master Suite

Adrien is going to intern at the Dupain-Cheng bakery. It will not end well.

Luka is going to work for the new flower shop next door, by doing flower deliveries. This will end better because of... reasons.

Felix was created out of jealousy over Gabe and Emilie's conception of Adrien, which means it's possible he doesn't love Kagami for herself or the fact they "are the same," but because Kagami was meant for Adrien.

The ring Felix gave Kagami isn't actually her amok, but an identical copy.

Felix's character arc of villain-to-antihero-to-hero will take another twist. He might even team up with Lilamoth. Either way, his character arc is that he is still being controlled by his father, even though he has his amok, and his father is dead. This will be a direct parallel to Adrien's character arc.

Luka's nightmare (which we never find out in the season 5 finale, oddly enough) is that his actions reveal Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities, Monarque finds out, takes advantage of this and secures the Miraculous and makes his wish... Somehow Luka finds out about Ephemeral, and is horrified that his actions caused the end of the world. He goes to Marinette and she tells him that "the timeline doesn't exist anymore," so he shouldn't feel bad that his actions caused the wish to occur. "Everyone makes mistakes." We as the audience know she is trying to make herself feel better about her choices in the season 5 finale. She begins a word salad about how even Chat Noir flooded the entire planet and nearly destroyed the universe in Chat Blanc, but the timeline no longer exists and it's all okay now! So now both boys know they ended the world in deleted timelines.

The main conflict of season 6 will be the reveal of Ephemeral and Chat Blanc. Season 7 will end in revealing The Truth to Adrien. Season 8 will be about figuring out how to sever Adrien's connection to his amoks, and the Peacock Miraculous.

Luka will be the one to reveal The Truth to Adrichat

Luka will help Adrien sever his connection to his amoks and the Peacock Miraculous. The Miraculous Ladybugs can't bring back a sentimonster after the amok has been destroyed, but Second Chance can give them infinite tries to figure out how to sever the connections.

Human sentimonsters can do and be anything a normally created person can do EXCEPT reproduce. Sentimonsters cannot create life.

The Peacock Miraculous broke because Emilie tried to create two sentimonsters at the same time: Adrien's and his twin sister's embryos. Adrien was created second, and thus the reason the miraculous broke.

Adrien is his own dead twin sister, which is why he has two amoks

Adrien was not his original planned name. He was actually named after his dead twin sister Adrienne, once his parents learned he was connected to both amoks. I'm partial to his original planned name being Celeste, which is a unisex name in France.

Emilie and Amelie (identical twins) are both sentimonsters who share one amok (The moonstone star brooch that Emelie wears)

The actual moon is a sentimonster, and Adrien will time-travel 4 billion years into the past to recreate the Theia Impact in a future season after a long character arc of personal growth, healing, and accepting The Truth. (I'll admit this one is more wishful hoping than anything else lmao)

The light that Lila/Iris saw at the end of the finale is her time traveling future self (I messed up the exact details of how she gets ahold of the Rabbit Miraculous in my original post, but I still think it's plausible)

Ladynoir is dead. Marichat is dead. Ladrien is dead. I think they're going to kill Adrienette sooner rather than later.

Adrien falls in love (or thinks he falls in love) with Marinette due to an amok order by a time traveling Lilamoth. (Adrienette getting together pretty much opened the way for Gabe to get his wish, and thus Lilamoth's acquisition of the Butterfly Miraculous.)

After a rewatch, and studying the transcript, I think there's a possibility Maribug would have kept The Truth from Adrien even if Gabe never asked her to.

Gabe failed his redemption character arc of moving on and letting go of Emilie. Emilie's dying wish was for Gabe to move on, properly parent Adrien, and allow him to choose his own happiness. Instead, Gabe made his own wish in order to be with her in death, abandoning Adrien. But before he did that, he gave Marinette his blessing to be with his son, with stipulations that she never tell him The Truth. I think Gabe ALSO passed on his failed character arc to Marinette. She is going to have to learn to let Adrien go.

AND THE FINAL MOST CRACK OF ALL THEORIES:

25. Lukadrien is Endgame

[janners]

Green Eyes

Neteyam (17) x Human!reader (18)

warnings : childhood friends to lovers, fluff..?, slowburn ish, angsty angst, death, mental health, illness

word count : 18.7k

a/n: Another angst one after posting my fluff fic HAHA I live to write angsty shit. Originally it was going to be around like 10k but obviously that didn’t happen so it took longer than expected. The beginning is mostly about you but then it does reach Neteyam content after a bit since it's slowburnish.

_

Throughout Neteyams life, he was like his mother. Not wanting to interact with anything Skypeople related. Despite his dislike for Skypeople, there were distant memories of a certain young girl that always seemed to be stuck in the back of his mind. Most nights filled with frustration and confusion as to who you were. Sometimes dreams would show him his younger self with a faceless girl running around the village playing and picking flowers in the forest. He kept this to himself, not sure if anyone would be able to help him with this mystery.

During the passing days, Neteyam always sees his brother and sister going in the direction of the lab to see their tawtute friends. He never understood why they were so fond of the certain people they met with. Always talking highly of them when coming back from their mini adventure. Especially when Kiri talks about a girl who she is fond of most. The talk of the girl had gotten his attention from time to time wondering if it was possible that she could be the girl he has memories about. But the thought disappears in doubt, not knowing if the girl really exists.

_

When the war was over, two small children remained on Pandora with a couple scientists while the rest of the humans went back to Earth. One boy named Spider and an older girl named Y/n. Spider was the child who was quite chaotic, while you were quite the same but just a little toned down. You had a very adventurous spirit when you were younger, always curious about everything and wandering off on your own. You had also met a few Na’vi kids that you came close with before you became sick.

10 years ago

“PLEASE NORM. I want to explore the forest pleeeasse”

Being eight years old, you wanted nothing more than to explore the large forest. Everyday you would ask Norm or Max at least once hoping they would say yes. Though you’ve gotten no each and every attempt. You tried staying on your best behaviour the past couple weeks anticipating that they would say yes at some point. When you asked today, Norm didn’t have his usual straight face when he was about to reject your wants. Instead there was a small smile that made its way on his lips.

“I was just about to talk to you about that. I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to the Omatikaya clan?”

Your eyes glimmered in excitement, going into the forest was one thing but the clan? That was even better than you could’ve imagined. Jumping up and down eager to get going, you kept pushing and pulling Norm in different directions as he was collecting things to bring with him. As he finished packing his essential things, he held your hand walking to the door. He grabbed a smaller mask and crouched down to secure it one you face. He told you to wait here while he went to link with his Avatar. After a couple minutes the door opens revealing a very tall Norm. You shield your face with your arm from the bright light as you step outside for the first time. Lowering your arm slowly, your mouth gaped open seeing the forest in person.

The green looked more vibrant compared to the window view and the flora was gorgeous. Your small hand is still in the grasp of Norms large blue hand while walking down a certain path towards the village. Lifting your head up, you see syaksyuk swinging from tree to tree as some peer down at your figures in curiosity. Continuing along the path you also spot a few yerik grazing on the grass and small plants around them. Getting closer and closer you hear sounds of chatter. Norm greeted a warrior who was at the village borders before entering the village. You lean closer into Norm, not used to the stares from the clan members. You reach a large tent, much larger than the others. Walking in you spot a family, you quickly noticed Jake who waved to the both of you. Jake comes to visit the lab every once in a while to check on everyone. Everytime he came, you would be ready to give him a new trinket you made.

You waved back with a shy smile as you still hid behind Norm. Norm stepped to the side and pushed his hand gently against your back to introduce yourself to the rest. Jake quickly told the kids to greet you as well. You look to Norm to make sure it was okay to go ahead, he gave you a curt nod telling that it was okay. As he walked away to talk with Jake and Neytiri, the tall kids walked to you with caution. They walk circles around you, studying your strange features and the device on your face. Two of them approached and grabbed your hands observing them before comparing them to their own hands. Their eyes held amazement as they were the same. The third child only watched from a distance, still wary of your presence. They started talking in Na’vi, you couldn’t understand all of it but picked up a few words from it. Norm started teaching not too long ago, but you were a quick learner.

The two were asking their mother a question, something along the lines of “forest…take her?”

Neytiri looked at you with sceptical eyes as she still wasn’t very fond of Norm either, but seeing as you were much smaller compared to them she thought it would be okay just once. She gave them a brief nod, they squealed in excitement as they held your hands dragging you out of the tent.

Not really sure what to do, you just went along. It seemed as though they were taking you to the forest but a different area. Trailing behind you was the other child, he kept a close eye on you not sure if you were harmless to them. As he watched your movements, he also caught the glimpse of wonder in your eyes. Coming to a stop, you look around observing your surroundings. It was a small clear area that was surrounded by large trees and plants. Right in the middle was a pond with small fish swimming around. Your smile at them showing all your teeth while your eyes were wide with curiosity. The smaller boy talked in broken English, mixed with some simple Na’vi words.

“My tstxo is Lo’ak and this Kiri.”

He then pointed towards his older brother. “Tsmukan, Neteyam”

You smile in delight knowing all their names, you then try your newly learned N’avi to introduce yourself. You point to yourself.

“Oe y/n”

Neteyam tilted his head by the odd Na’vi attempt. He turned to Lo’ak speaking fluently.

“fo nìNa'vi plltxe nìfya'o a hek” (They speak Na’vi strangely)

Confused by what he said, you turn to Lo’ak to see if he might translate. But he was looking at his brother as if he was dumb.

“po poltxe nìlaw letam natawtute” (She spoke clearly enough as Skyperson)

Neteyam stuck his tongue out at him while Lo’ak mocked him back. A small giggle left your mouth watching the funny scene. Kiri had come closer to you, saying in broken english that you spoke decent Na’vi for a tawtute. You took it as a compliment as you were working hard to become fluent someday. After introducing yourselves, Lo’ak suggested that they all play tag, something he learned from his father. You agree in joy, never having the chance to play tag with this many before. Normally you only really play with Spider, he’s probably bored at the lab right now. Lo’ak was it, he started counting down from 10 to give everyone a head start. You followed Neteyam as you weren’t familiar with the forest. You all heard Lo’ak yell his heart out ready to capture you all. Hours passed as you all continued playing, Lo’ak captured you multiple times since you were much slower compared to them all.

Eventually the day had to come to an end. Norm and Jake called for all of you to come back to the village to say goodbye. You all had bonded quite well for the first time meeting. Jake and Norm watched as they all looked a little sad to be parting ways. They give each other a look before they sigh in unison. Jake bent down to meet their eye levels,

“How do you feel if Y/n visits 3 days a week?”

All four of them yelled yes multiple times. Jake gave Norm a look of confirmation, Norm looked at you for a second seeing you give him puppy dog eyes. He exhaled through his nose while pursing his lips while giving both you and Jake a nod. You threw your hands up in exhilaration. You give each of the sully kids a hug before heading back to the lab. Reaching the edge of the village line, you look back once more, giving the biggest wave with both hands to the Sullys. Reaching the lab, you went to Spider’s room to tell him everything about the outside world. He wasn’t quite old enough yet to go out so telling him would cheer him up about you going. As days pass, you continue visiting the Sullys to play and hangout. The one day you went out, you felt a bit tired before heading outside. You waved it off thinking it would go away. As you walked towards the spot you guys claimed, the journey had you heaving. You weren’t sure why you were having such trouble breathing. You ignored it once more thinking it wasn’t a huge deal. Stepping into the area, you see Lo’ak, Kiri, and Neteyam talking as they wait for you.

Greeting them with a scare, they tackled you into a hug. Laughing in joy, you completely forgot about the pain residing in your body. All of you decided to play tag once again, never getting sick of the game. Neteyam was it this time. Giving you all a head start, you guys sprint away not wanting to get caught. As you were running the pain returned but doubled, you fell to your knees coughing violently. Hands digging into the Earth, gasping for air as you kept coughing. One last hard cough came from your trembling body. Tears of pain were running down your flushed cheeks. You look down slightly to the glass of your mask. Red liquid drips from right in front of your mouth. Blood? Panic set into your system from the sight of your blood. Your vision begins to blur as you struggle to breathe. From a distance you hear yelling, you weren’t sure who. Just before you could think of who it may be, you went unconscious.

_

You’re 18 now. That day you first passed out was the last time you ever went outside. You were bedridden for a while before being able to walk around again. The tests that Norm ran never helped. It seemed that your immune system was too weak for the Pandora atmosphere causing you to develop a deadly disease. It wasn’t contagious much to everyone's relief but you being the only one having it had them numb. A mere 8 year old getting an unknown disease.

Since that day, the only rule that was set against you was, “No going outside” which made you upset. Everyday you look out your window, gazing at the forest with sorrow in your eyes. Though instead of moping around all day, at age 12 you started watching a woman's logs. Her name was Grace, the way she talked about Pandora and everything about it made you want to continue her studies. Norm continued to help you with Na’vi speaking, while you started studying more about the life of Pandora and the science behind it. It wasn’t until about you were 14 that Lo’ak and Kiri started coming to the lab. When you saw them for the first time in years, you ran into their arms with zero hesitation. They even started bringing their younger sister along, and she was a very energetic child. Spider was also old enough to go out himself and join the Sully kids. You were envious of him, but you didn’t let it ruin your sibling relationship with him. Everyday when he returned, he would tell you everything he saw and did. Even told you about new plants and flora he discovered to add into your studies.

The one thing you always wondered was why Neteyam never came by. Lo’ak told you that he began training a lot due to being the eldest. Although you understood, you missed him. When you first met him you knew he was wary of you, but a close bond formed after he knew you were good. You were the closest with him before you had your problem appear. But after 10 years of not seeing him, he eventually became a distant memory to sometimes look back on. Lo’ak and Kiri continued to grow, as well as you. Unfortunately your condition grew with you, being more sick than you usually were.

_

Waking up was difficult these days, all you wanted to do was stay in bed and gaze out the window. The only thing keeping you going is the work you dedicated yourself to. Getting up, you slip on your slippers heading to your work space. Your hair was like a nest, bags under your eyes, back hunched over. You grab your lab coat and throw it over your shoulder while grabbing coffee. You walk to Norm and give him a quick good morning before settling into your chair. Just as you relaxed, the sound of large footsteps echoed. You spun your chair to face the sound. Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak came in waving towards you. As you wave back, you spin back around to start your studies. Kiri appeared beside your desk peering down onto your work.

“You should take a break, you know. I don’t want you getting more sick from overworking yourself”

You lift your head to meet Kiris face. Giving her a gentle smile, you lift up one of your pages showing it to her. Your voice was raspy from it being constantly sore due to coughing and heaving throughout the days.

“I wish I could but this work isn’t going to help itself. Plus working keeps me at ease, you should know that Kiri”

Chuckling softly as you watch her expression go from concern to a really? look. Just as you were about to ask something, Tuk tugged on your arm. You bring your other arm up to pat her head.

“Hey Tuk how’ve you been?”

Tuk had a wide smile displayed on her face.

“I’ve been good! How about you lefpom?”

Lefpom, a nickname she gave you because you always seemed happy around her. Your hand touched hers as you answered that you’ve been good as well. You tell her to go find Spider and scare him with Lo’ak. She nods while having a cheeky grin plastered on her face. As she went out of earshot you turned back to Kiri with a tired look. A minute of silence before you started to talk again quietly.

“It’s been getting worse Kiri…”

Kiri was the only one who knew about your worsening condition, not even Norm. You could tell by her face that she was upset. Throughout the tough years, Kiri really was the only one you could trust with these details. If Lo’ak found out or Norm, you would not hear the end of it.

“What happened in your study for this condition? I thought you were getting close?”

There was a small strain in her voice as she spoke. You could only sigh while you hang your head low.

“I gave up on that months ago. Nothing worked Kiri, it’s all a waste.”

You hand rubbing your forehead in exhaustion, you push the papers towards Kiri. All of them had big red X’s across them indicating each failed attempt. Kiri knelt down to reach your level, she gently put her head against your arm. You rest your head on top of hers to comfort her. You whisper softly.

“It’ll be fine. I’m still here and alive, that’s all that matters as of right now.”

You tried hard to suppress your tears, not wanting Lo’ak and Tuk see you in such a vulnerable state. You hear footsteps nearing once more, you quickly wipe the loose tears and give Kiri one last hug before they all head out leaving you behind once more. You wave them all off telling them to be careful, while Lo’ak remarks “yes mother” in the most sarcastic tone. Rolling your eyes, you say bye nice and loud as you shut the door. You slowly bring your hand back in your lap looking through the window as you watch them disappear in the forest. You wish you could join them, but going outside would be too risky in your current condition. Huffing in frustration, you wander around the lab a bit to get your mind going and distracted. Going into a specific room, you slowly approach the floating Avatar, which was Graces. Right behind hers was yours. You drag your feet to reach your Avatar. It was only last year that Norm surprised you with it, but not once have you used it. Afraid that you’d get used to it too much to the point you’d forget that you have this life sucking disease. Afraid that you would get too attached, and then ending up dead within only a few short years.

Hand gently touches the glass as you study the face of your Avatar. You were too focused not noticing Norm enter the room. He watched as a dull look washes over your face when studying your Avatar. Norm gifted the Avatar to you so that you would be able to go out again. But you were too worried about your condition and decided against it even though you were grateful for the Avatar.  He could only feel horrible for not being able to figure out this disease, he knew how much you wanted to experience the forest once more. He knocked on the side of the wall to grab your attention. Snapping out of your daydreaming, you turn your head seeing Norm leaning against the doorframe.

“I made some food, come eat”

You nod, glancing back once more to your floating Avatar before following after Norm.

_

Kiri, Lo’ak, Tuk and Spider all walk towards the village. Kiri thought long and hard about how she could possibly help you. She knows you said not to tell anyone, but the idea of telling her grandmother could really assist you. Lo’ak noticed Kiri’s furrowed expression, and slightly bumped her with his hip to snap her out of her deep thinking. Kiri blinked, turning her head to Lo’ak with a questionable look.

“You’ve looked like that since we left the lab. Did something happen?”

“No nothing, just some things running through my mind.”

Lo’ak looked unsure with her reply but carried on. They reached the village, Tuk ran around straight away joining her friends. Spider stayed by Lo’aks side as they head to the training grounds to fuck around with the weapons. As for Kiri, she went to the healing tent to talk with her grandmother. She opened the flap seeing Mo’at sitting grinding herbs. She takes a seat infront of her waiting till Mo’at speaks first.

“Kiri, is there something you need?”

Kiri shifts a little closer, leaning forward talking in a lowered voice.

“Is there a possible way you could join me at the lab at some point tomorrow?”

Mo’ats movements stop, lifting her head with a strange expression taking over her face.

“Why should I step foot there?”

She hesitated with her next words, trying to word it properly. Still unsure if she wanted to reveal your current situation to someone. Kiri pondered for a minute before blurting out what she needed to say.

“I have a friend who has an unknown disease and her condition is worsening by the day. I’m not sure if you remember her, her name is y/n?”

Mo’at eyes widened at the name. It has been a while since she last saw you, a mere child. She knew you were a good child, and hearing an unknown disease being uncovered made her worried.

“Is she not able to come to the village, she did when she was a child?”

“The disease is the reason why she cannot come out here. Her system is too weak for the environment here” Kiri sighed

Mo’at was deciding if going would benefit both. She did not want a disease to grab a clan member and not know how to treat it. Nor did she want you to suffer. After thinking for a little while, she decided to join Kiri on her next trip to the lab, which happens to be tomorrow. Kiri thanked her, grateful that you might finally get the help you need. One thing neither of them noticed was the presence of a certain older brother lurking outside of the tent.

Neteyam had gotten hurt at the shooting range due to Lo’aks antics with Spider. The arrow had grazed his arm causing a bit of blood to drip down his arm. He wasn’t sure why he put up with Lo’aks skxawng ass. Trudging to the tent to get paste for the cut, he paused hearing chatter going on inside. Normally he doesn’t eavesdrop but Kiri’s voice caught his attention. Ears picking up the words, disease, friend, y/n…? That name felt familiar to him, he just couldn’t remember from where. He leans in closer hearing his grandmother saying that she will accompany Kiri to the lab. He never expected her to step on tawtute grounds, it must be serious if she was leaving the village to see a mere human.  Waiting another minute to see if the conversation was over before entering the tent. Giving a small greeting to Mo’at, he goes to sit in front of Kiri showing his cut. Kiri mumbled Lo’ak? and he could only nod with a huff.

He contemplates on bringing up their topic from earlier, wanting to come along on the trip out of curiosity. Fiddling with his fingers he decided to just say what he wanted to say.

“Can I accompany you both to the lab?”

Both Kiri and Mo’at paused looking up at Neteyam in unison. They make eye contact before looking at Neteyam once more. Kiri spoke up first.

“Why”

“I was curious about who you were talking about, this y/n girl. It sounds familiar.”

Her brows furrowed and eyes squinted at Neteyams words. He didn’t remember you? She thought it was odd seeing as you two were the closest when you were younger. Though it made sense a little bit knowing you haven’t seen each other in years. She looked to Mo’at to see if she cared. She only tilted her head making the decision for Kiri to decide. Pursing her lips, she said okay as she patched the rest of his cut up. Kiri wasn’t fully sure if his presence would be a good idea considering how long it’s been since you last saw him, but it could be good too. Neteyam gave her a quick thanks, standing up to exit the tent.

Neteyam was in deep thought as he headed back to the family tent. He didn’t know why the name y/n sounded so familiar. Lately due to his intense training, it’s like he can’t remember much from his childhood and it was frustrating. One thing that frustrated him most was the constant appearance of a girl in his mind.

_

You didn’t get a wink of sleep, the pain in your body kept you up all night. You roll to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling with a tired expression. Ever since this disease surfaced you always had pessimistic thoughts. Not having much hope in curing whatever you had, accepting the chance of possible death. There were still times you coughed up blood, mostly on days you hurt most. Those days were like hell, it felt as if your skin was on fire, lungs constricted, barely being able to move your own body. It would last for hours until it finally settled. Sighing, you sit up, groaning in ache as you stretch your limbs slightly. Walking over to your cabinet, you open it to reveal a variety of painkillers and cold patches. Grabbing the strongest one, you pop two in your mouth and washing it down with your day old water. Then grabbing a few cold patches and placing it on the back of your neck, multiple areas on your back, and your shoulders.

You drag your body to Grace's old working area, you turn on her logs to watch through again for the thousandth time. You could never get bored of her logs, you could watch them forever if you could. Minutes pass before a knock catches your attention, you turn to see Kiri with a nervous smile. You give her a confused look, normally she’d come right up and greet you. Kiri claps her hands together, she avoids eye contact with you as she speaks in a quiet tone.

“I know you told me not to tell anyone but I had an idea about asking my grandmother to see if she could figure out what your condition was-”

You interrupted her with a sharp whisper.

“What?!”

“I know! I know! But I just had to, she is Tsahik and she is better than these machines.”

Burying your face in your hands as you groan softly. You pinch the bridge of your nose not knowing how to react to this situation right now. You asked if anyone else knew, but telling from her face you couldn’t help but sigh.

“I swear I only told her but apparently Neteyam overheard our talking”

“Neteyam…? He’s here?” Eyes blown wide. You haven’t heard that name in forever. Kiri slowly nods her head a little worried about how you’d react. But instead she got a worried expression.

“I’m not sure about this Kiri. What if it turns out to be worse than I thought it was. What if-” Your voice cracked. “What if we can’t get rid of it? What do we do then? Plus I’m not sure I really want Neteyam seeing me like this for the first time in years”

Kiri finally walks over to you, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, my grandmother will help you I promise. As for Neteyam, I don’t think you should be worrying too much about him right now” Giving you a small smile.

Taking in a deep breath before exhaling, you give her a small nod. Her smile widens, she helps you up from the chair, making sure you stand properly. You appreciate her efforts in helping you, you felt lucky to have someone like her in your life. You stop her for a second to turn off the computer, she glanced at what you were doing before you shut it off. You started walking out of the room, heading towards where the other two Na’vi were waiting.

“You were watching my moms logs again?”

“Never get tired of em, you should know that” You give her a small bump with your hip teasingly.

Finally entering the room, you were nervous. You saw the backs of two familiar Na’vi. The first to turn was Mo’at, who gave you a concerned look as she took in your appearance. Then there was Neteyam, his face looked stunned yet confused. Did he not remember you? Turning back to Mo’at, you give her a small greeting.

“It’s been a while Tsahik”

She gave you a curt nod while waving her hand to signal you to come over. Mo’at glances at Kiri and Neteyam, telling them to wait in the other room as she studies your current state. Kiri gave you one last look of encouragement before dragging Neteyam with her as he tried hard to study your features. Something about you felt familiar to him, it was on the tip of his tongue.

You watch as they leave, turning back to Mo’at to start her observations. She sat you down on one of the near chairs, looking around your body to spot any abnormalities. After that she started doing some Tsahik practices on you to determine your health and damage that had been done. Mo’at had a concentrated face that did not falter throughout the practices. After a long hour or so, Mo’at stood up straight, huffing air out her nose. Another concerned look falls over her face, that makes you feel nauseous. Mo’at looks straight into your eyes, talking to you with a gentle voice.

“This sickness has done much permanent damage. I cannot do much about the current damage. I can give you herbs and medicine to help slow the process down of the disease but it’s possible that, that is all I can do for you. Your life span may be much shorter than expected.”

The world froze as those words left her lips. You had gone completely numb not knowing how to react to that news. You knew that this would’ve been a possibility but never did you think you would hear it. Body still in shock, Mo’at sighed and gave you a soft touch to your shoulder before leaving to the other room to give you some time. Knees slowly bending, your hand on the chair for support as your legs make contact with the cold floor. Your back hunches over as you try to process the words you received from Mo’at. A small drop of liquid crashes into the floor. Your hand comes up to your face feeling something wet on your cheeks. Tears. You were numb yet tears were running down your face. The painkillers had slightly worn off, the pain in your body slowly returning. I’m really going to die aren’t I? You chuckle bitterly at the thought before you finally start breaking down. Hand over your mouth to suppress your cries and heavy breathing. The other hand gripping your shirt tightly while hitting it against your chest. What about Norm? The Sullys? Spider? Graces studies? Your thoughts scrambling through your mind as you sob on the hard floor.

As you were crying, in the other room Kiri was worried deeply about how you were doing. She wasn’t sure if she should ask her grandmother about what happened as she walked in. Mo’at did not mention a single thing from the situation. Neteyam was still in deep thought wondering who you were and why you were so important to his siblings. Mo’at happened to notice an unfamiliar Avatar near Graces.

“Kiri, whose Avatar is that?”

Kiri stopped her pacing, ears perking at the mention of an Avatar. That had also caught Neteyams attention.

“It’s y/n’s”

A long silence filled the room. Mo’at felt perplexed about your Avatar, not knowing why she hasn’t seen you use it. Kiri saw her expression, but thought it was best to not say anything. Turning to Neteyam, Kiri saw him still in deep thought about you. She walked up to him and gave him a small tap on the shoulder pulling him from his thoughts. She tilts her head to the corner of the room wanting to talk with him. Kiri sat in the corner as Neteyam took the spot next to her. She twists her head to face him.

“Do you really not remember who y/n is?”

He could only sigh as he shook his head.

“Hm, remember when we were younger, there was a little girl who came to the village with Norm? That girl was y/n, one of our closest friends when we were children. Though, I understand your frustration, we didn’t see her until about 4 years ago. While you haven’t seen her in like 10 years. When we first saw her it was shocking to see her again.”

The moment Kiri mentioned a young girl who came to the village years back, gears started turning in his head. You must’ve been the girl he’s been seeing in his dreams and in his memories. He started thinking a little harder, more memories started flooding in, your face isn’t blurred anymore. Although you were just kids, you still looked like you.

“It really was her”

Kiri gave him a small smile while humming. She looks at the door hoping you would come out soon.

“The first time I see her in forever, and she’s sick.”

She rubs his back as her lips tightened. “It isn’t your fault, you’ve been busy with training. Especially since dad won’t give you a break”

The corner of her lips slightly raised. They sat in silence for a little longer until a creaking sound emerged. They all looked up at you, you had a smile on your face.

“Sorry for taking so long. I just had to gather my thoughts together.”

Your voice is quiet and raspy. Eyes with light red hues from the raw tears that were shed. Kiri had stood up swiftly, striding towards and giving you a crushing hug. You slowly wrap your hands around her, giving her a tight squeeze as if it was the last time you were going to hug her. Exhaling a long breath of air as your head rested on Kiri’s chest.

Neteyam could tell something was wrong as you and Kiri shared a long embrace. He noticed the slight falter in your expression when Kiri hugged you and the redness around your eyes and nose. Staying put in his spot, waiting until the quiet moment to end. Mo’at could only look at you with curious eyes when you entered with a smile moulding your face. A long minute passed before you pulled away from the hug. You look at Kiri, eyes forming into crescents as you give her a reassuring look. You didn’t want to lie to her, but it was best if you kept your permanent condition to yourself. You grab her hand gently.

“I am okay… Tsahik said that’d it’d all be okay. There are herbs that she can give me to help me through this horrible disease.”

Mo’at turned to you, eyes widening slightly to your words. Kiri looked at you with relief washing over her face then to exuberance. She grabbed your shoulders asking if you were absolutely serious, you could only nod your head with a half smile. Neteyam watched as Kiri looked overjoyed at the news. He too felt relieved but felt as if something was off with you. He would’ve thought that you would be just as joyous as Kiri but you only seem to give half the energy. But he didn’t look too into it especially since he hasn’t talked to you in 10 years and both of you changed a lot. Kiri waved him over to join in the happyfest of your healing. He felt a little awkward about joining in, he wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with him coming near you. Neteyam walks stiffly to your figures giving you both delicate pats on the shoulders. His eyes land on you, staring a bit longer than he should have. Studying your features, your cheekbones more visible, dark bags under your eyes, a paler complexion overall. Your head turned to meet his gaze. His focused face faltered into an awkward smile, not really knowing how to face you properly. Giving an awkward smile back, you gave him a small wave with your free hand.

_

The three of them eventually left you by yourself once again. Walking over to your room, you reach your bed and fall back onto the mattress. A long sigh left your lips, you moved to lay on your side to face the window. Gazing out, watching the wind blow through the plants, a small thought popped into your head. You said to yourself that you’d avoid using your Avatar but after hearing the news, maybe it was time to test it out. Kind of like a fuck it thought. Watching the outside world, eyes slowly closing shut, drowsiness finally catching up with you despite your pain. Your eyes opened once more, instead of your room being in your line of vision it was the forest. Looking around you were confused. It wasn’t until you finally breathed in, noticing that you didn’t have a mask. No pain was present either, just you and the forest completely healthy.

Taking small steps into the forest, admiring the plants all around you and the smaller animals. Minutes pass as you continue to appreciate the environment, before stumbling upon a small open area surrounded by the trees. A smaller tree that looked similar to a willow tree that used to be seen on Earth in the books you’ve read on Earth plants. It had beautiful green and brown colourations all over.  Slowly approaching the tree, you duck under the hanging leaves to reach the trunk of the tree. There was a soft patch of grass surrounding the base, you crouched down to sit comfortably against the wood. Relaxing your back as it made contact with the rough bark, hands wisping through the grass feeling the softness. You took a long breath in through your nose, closing your eyes as you exhaled. So this is what it felt like when I was younger.

Though you didn’t understand why you were here, you took the chance to soak up everything you can. Time passes as you stay in a peaceful state under the leaves. There was a sudden twinge in your chest, throat feeling dry. Next thing you knew you couldn’t breathe, gripping the grass in panic. Your eyes opened to find yourself in your room once more accompanied with a strong coughing fit. Hands grasping your sheets as you keep coughing. The last cough finally came out, liquid dripping down your chin. Sheets stained in splatters of bright red. Eyes moistening, hands releasing the sheets as your cheeks became wet. Crying for the second time today, it felt much worse this time. Frustration building up in your system as you wept, the urge to scream as if it would get rid of all your problems. And you did. The screaming led to you throwing your pillows across the room. Hitting objects, making things fall and clatter against the hard ground. You got up striding towards your small desk filled with info about plants. Grabbing them all with a tight fist, crumbling them in your grasp. You throw them all over the place, ripping a few as hot tears flushed your face. It felt long, in reality your breakdown lasted only a few short minutes. Sitting on the floor on your knees, chest rising up and down at a fast pace as you try to calm yourself. Dried up tears staining your cheeks, nose stuffy, dried blood on your lips and chin.

_

Early in the morning Norm went into the linking pod to start his day. He did his things in his Avatar form throughout the day. Went to the village to discuss some matters to Jake, came back to the lab area to finish any other chores. One thing he did notice though was three figures leaving the lab. He noticed Mo’at the most, not knowing why she came all the way here. It took him some time to realise what it may be about. He didn’t worry too much, especially seeing Kiri’s face which seemed to radiate happiness. Going on with his day, he couldn’t help but feel a hint of worry. Possible parent instincts? Who knew, but Norm just felt something was off. Another hour passed while the feeling was biting at him, he gave in and went to the Avatars tent to unlink. Unlinking, he lifted the pod lid, stretching his stiff limbs. Just as he steps out, he hears objects crashing in the direction of your room.

Norm ran towards your room, worried that something bad may have happened to you. Just as he reached your door, the clattering sounds went silent. Opening the door in a hurry, his eyes shifted all over. There were blood splatters on your bed and some on the floor. Papers and your belongings scattered everywhere. Some glass that had been shattered from a few of your things hitting each other. Eyes finally landing on the small figure on the cold floor. Face apathetic, dried blood staining your lower face, red eyes. Rushing to your body, not caring if your things were the way. Crouching down, grabbing your shoulders gently as he examines your face and body. A small sense of relief came as he noticed you weren’t hurt on the outside but extremely worried about the blood that came from inside. Without saying a word, he brought your body into his, embracing you into a warm hug. At times like these, you felt as if you were a child again. The hug made you breakdown once more, burying your face deeper into his chest. Norm had always felt like a parental figure to you. Him hugging you in times like these was something you really needed.

He continued keeping you in his hold, gently caressing the back of your head. Your crying never settled, tears constantly flowing down your face. All the years of pent up emotions, all coming out today. Norm couldn’t help but shed tears himself, seeing you in such a state made his heart hurt. An hour passed, both still stuck in the embrace. Sobs turned into sniffles and heavy breathing. Norm spoke in the softest tone he could.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

In return he got a head shake against his chest. His lips pursed while releasing a sigh. He rubs your back as he rests his head on top of yours.

“How about I get some food ready for you. Does that sound good? Get you cleaned up too?”

Feeling a light nod, he pulls away looking at your face. His expression is full of sombre as he looks at your fallen look. Helping you stand up, he assists you to the bathroom before leaving to cook some food.  You look into the mirror, a reflection of a person you don’t recognise. Tired eyes, sunken cheeks, pale skin, looking down to your hands, small cuts decorating them from the papers and glass. A quiet sigh left your body, slowly taking off your clothes and turning the shower on. Waiting for steam to be visible in the bathroom before touching the water. As the water cascaded down your body, the blood and tears were slowly disappearing. You sat down on the shower floor, letting the water hit against your skin, basking in the heat of the water. The steam made it a little hard to breathe but the steam was calming as well. The steam was like a safety blanket covering your frame. You lift your head to face the water, letting it gently hit your face. All you did was stay in the water, feeling too weak to use the products to fully clean yourself.

Minutes passed before you turned the shower off. Stepping out, the room filled with foggy steam. You grab the towel to wrap yourself in. Peeking out the door you see a pile of neatly folded clothes on the floor in front of the door. Norm must’ve finished the food and cleaned your room a bit. Grabbing the clothes, you take your time getting changed. You looked around your room, there were still bits and pieces on the ground but the majority had been put away. Dragging your feet to where Norm was, you see him patiently waiting for you to arrive. Your steps alerted him and he looked up to see you all cleaned up. He waves you over to sit and eat the bland looking eggs and toast on the plate. Feet pattering as you walk to the chair, pulling it out and taking a seat. You peer down at the plate, gently grasping the fork sitting beside it. Slowly eating the food in front of you, Norm had thoughts running through his head. He knew that your breakdown had something to do with your condition. The only thing that confused him was the look on Kiri’s face. If she was so happy after leaving then why were you acting the complete opposite. As you finished eating, Norm quickly gathered the plate and fork, putting them away in the sink before sitting back in front of you. His hand was gently placed on top of yours to show his support.

“I know earlier you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but I’m here to talk to, okay? Don’t hesitate to tell me anything.”

“I know…”

Finally talking, your voice hoarse and quiet from today's events. You both stand, Norm pulling you into another hug as he pats your head. The rest of the day you spent in bed, looking out the window. Taking pills ahead of time, the pain was at ease for now. It had started raining, the soothing taps against the glass slowly pulled you to sleep.

_

You had woken up to pain once more, but this time it didn’t bother you as much since you had a mission. Waking up earlier than Norm, you quietly wait for his presence so you could ask him a very important question. The nerves in your system couldn’t settle, overpowering the pain in your chest. Minutes passed before you heard footsteps nearing, turning your head you see a tired Norm. His eyes widened a bit as he saw you up and early.

“y/n? Whatcha doing up early? You’re usually not up at this time”

Unconsciously picking at your skin, you avert your eyes not ready for how he’ll react.

“I was uh, I was thinking it was time to take my… Avatar out…”

His brows furrowed but quickly changed into an excited expression. He strides towards your small figure, grabbing your shoulders gently and dragging you to the linking pods. Your first initial reaction was pure confusion, your face was all scrunched up. But then your eyes were wide open like saucers seeing the linking pods come into your view of vision. Norm turns you around to face you once more.

“Are you absolutely sure about this?”

Giving him a firm nod, he guides you to one of the pods. You watch as other people start getting things prepared, a few a little surprised at your sudden appearance in this room. Norm quickly set up one of the pods for you to lay in. As he was setting up he gave you some tips for when you end up linking to your Avatar. Seconds passed before Norm was dragging you again. He patted the open pod, you hopped on, swinging your legs up with you.

“Just remember to relax, and keep a clear mind.”

You give him a crooked smile as you nod your head briefly. Slowly lying down, Norm brought down the top, before closing it completely he gave you one last smile and thumbs up. As it closes, you close your eyes trying to make your mind go blank. In a second, your eyes opened once more, bright lights blinding you. Muffled sounds coming from around you. The first thing you really noticed was the lack of pain present. Adjusting to the light, you see scientists surrounding you. They were checking your hearing and your eyes. They asked if you were feeling okay, replying with a curt nod. Minutes passed as they continued to test your motor functions. All you could focus on was how light your entire body felt. For once your body feels relaxed and not tense 24/7. They gave you a change of clothes, a simple tank top and some shorts. Getting changed, you were beyond excited but also nauseous. It would be the first time going outside in forever. These thoughts completely made you forget about your other body.

You walked to the door that led to the outside world. Your hand reached for the latch but you hesitated. Worried that something bad would happen just like when you were younger. You took a deep breath in before exhaling from your nose. Gripping the handle, you open the door wide open. Bright lights blinded your eyes once more, but quickly adjusted just to see the vibrant outdoors. A wide smile graced your face, not believing that this moment finally came. Your eyes moved everywhere trying to take in the entire view. Then your eyes landed on an Avatar Norm who was walking towards you with some weird looking fruit in his hand. As he got closer he tossed you the fruit, catching off guard as you barely caught it.

You bite into the juicy fruit, a wave of new flavours hit you making you eat more of the fruit. Norm was chuckled at your reaction to the fruit. He pats your shoulder, tilting his head as he wants to show you more of the place. As you walk around, Norm shows you the different areas for the Avatars. The terrain was rough, especially when you opted out of shoes. You wanted the full experience of this body, something you weren’t able to do inside. Norm came to a full stop, making you bump into his back. You step back rubbing your nose, just as you were about to tell Norm off your voice got stuck in your throat. The forest was right in front of you. The vibrant green from the trees and plants once again in front of you after all these years. You couldn’t take your eyes off of the forest. Norm waved his hand by your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“Huh? What did you say?”

Norm only chuckled. “I was asking if you wanted to take a walk in the forest for old time sake?”

Your eyes glimmered in eagerness, quickly grabbing Norms arms dragging him in the dense forest. Not once did your eyes falter, a constant smile on your face to the point your cheeks were sore but that didn’t stop you. It felt like the exact moment you first went out 10 years ago. The flora looked even more beautiful than it did years ago, not to mention the softness from the grass and dirt connecting with your feet every step. Norm struggled to keep up with you. Jogging, trying to keep up with your quick steps.

“Wait up! You’re going way too fast, there was something I needed to show you.”

Your ears perk at Norms statement. He could only chuckle at your childish demeanour. He walks ahead of you, waving his hand to tell you to follow him. As you followed it felt like deja vu. Looking around in curiosity, spotting animals wandering the forest. Except this time you were much taller… and blue. Minutes passed, every minute of asking what it was Norm wanted to show you. He kept saying it was a surprise, which made you groan impatiently. As more time passed as you walked, another blue figure came into view, except they were wearing pieces of clothing extremely different from yours. Immediately you recognized them as an Omatikaya warrior. Your head quickly whipped around to face Norm. He could only give you a small smirk as he shrugged his shoulders. Your new tail whips back and forth in anticipation as you finally enter the village. The smile on your face widened even more, if that was even possible. Clan members looked at you with curiosity, normally they only see Norm come into the village but you were completely new. Everything felt so familiar to you, but there were many new additions in the village that had you interested. Walking a certain path, you knew where you were walking to… Jake’s family tent. The large tent looked exactly how it did all those years ago. You weren’t able to see Jake since the day you fell ill, this made you nervous to see him again. He was like an uncle to you. Reaching the front of the tent, Norm told you to wait as he entered. As you wait, you hear a small voice come from behind you.

“Excuse me? Who are you?”

You recognise that voice anywhere. You turn to face a certain someone.

“Tuk?”

Tuk looked a little puzzled for a moment, studying your features and hearing your voice. It clicked in her head. A gasped left your mouth and eyes big, she dropped her toy running towards you frame. She jumped in your arms as she shouted in glee.

“Y/N! Is that really you? You look like me!”

A hearty laugh came out, hugging her back as you spun her around.

“It is Tuk, it’s me!”

Just as you were spinning Tuk, Jake, Norm, and Neytiri came out. Jake thought Norm was lying about you being here, but that changed after seeing you interacting with his youngest daughter. Neytiri was just as shocked. She didn’t mind you as much as Spider. You heard them from behind you, you gently put Tuk down giving a greeting to both of them.

“Kaltxì, Jake, Neytiri”

Jake grinned walking over to you with open arms. Neytiri only watched with a small simile shaping her lips. Jake engulfed you in a big hug before pulling you back by your shoulders. He let out a small chuckle since you were now like him in a sense.

“Who knew, I actually get to see you in blue.”

You scoff jokingly as you punch his shoulder.

“That’s all you say after not seeing me in years? Well at least I can say that you look older grandpa”

He rolled his eyes before putting you in a headlock and giving you a noogie. Norm laughed at you being teased by Jake, Neytiri was chuckling softly watching the scene unfold. From a distance away, four bodies were walking closer. The three being the other sully kids and the last being Spider. They were conversing with each other, not noticing the figure in their father’s embrace. Neteyam looked away from them for a second before noticing an unfamiliar member near his father. It wasn’t until Jake saw them, waving at them to come over. The moment you turned around, Neteyam felt as if the world stopped for a second. He didn’t notice who you were until Kiri whispered your name in question. His head spun to face Kiri hearing your name spill from her lips, his face filled with shock but a good shock. Lo’ak swore under his breath, he finally got to see his friend outside except this time you're like him. Spider was the same, seeing you outside with a smile on your face made him happy. The three ran towards your figure, tackling you to the ground, hugging you tight and shouting with happiness.

Neteyam was still frozen in place. He was trying to process how you looked. You had beautiful markings covering your arm, legs, and face. Eyes, a vibrant yellow mixed with lines of green. Your small fangs peaking out as you shared smiles with his siblings. His ears and tail twitching unconsciously as he studied your new features. Jake had shouted at him to come over, quickly making him blink out of his daze. Light purple hues reached his cheeks when his father called him, not sure if he had caught him staring. Slowly approaching your figure that had been tackled to the ground. Watching as Tuk jumped into the pile as well, a small amused huff left his mouth. Kiri and Lo’ak finally got off you, pulling you up with them off the ground. The adults all watched with bright smiles on their faces before they started conversing with each other back in the tent. Neteyam finally joined you all, but he still felt a little awkward since you haven’t had the chance to talk to each other much. But he started staring at you again, drifting off into dreamland as you talked with Kiri. Lo’ak noticed the lack of speech coming from his brother, noticing that he was looking at you. He had a knowing smirk, elbowing Neteyam in the ribs which caused Neteyam to smack his arm.

Jake and Norm had come back out with soft smiles wanting to tell you something. You tilt your head in question as Norm lays a hand on your back. He looks at you for a second before returning his attention back to Jake. Jake spoke in a strong tone, but was also gentle.

“Would you like to learn our ways? I know you enjoy learning about everything and maybe you would like to experience it as well.”

Eyes blinking slowly a few times as you turn to Norm with a stricken expression. Both Norm and Jake let out lively laughs seeing your reaction. You let out a meek really? to Norm and he nodded briefly. Hands bursting in the air in celebration as you laugh in joy. Before you could run to hug Kiri and Lo’ak who were also excited about the news, Jake's voice stopped you.

“Neteyam will be the one to teach you everything you need to know”

Neteyam immediately whipped his head in the direction of his father. He quickly mentioned his training but Jake said that it would be okay. Neteyam was nervous to say the least, especially since it was you. As for your reaction, you didn’t know how to react so you just sent Neteyam a small smile. He quickly avoided your gaze, not sure how to feel about this situation. Your smile fell seeing how he looked away, concerned that you may have made him feel uncomfortable.

After everything had been set in place, Kiri and Lo’ak had taken you on a mini tour around the village. Showing you some new additions, the whole time your eyes were eager to see everything. As for Neteyam, he was trailing behind just like he did years ago when he was wary of you for the first time. For some reason, he couldn’t stop looking at you. Now that you looked like them, his interest in you peaked once more. It was interesting to him, how much your Avatar looked like you. Only difference between you and them is the lack of skills and knowledge of the people. He was kind of excited to be able to teach you but unsure at the same time. He still wasn’t sure how to talk with you, and it made it more difficult when he couldn’t speak English as well as his siblings.

They started walking into the forest after showing you around the village while Spider had gone back to the lab to do some chores that he promised Max. Both Lo’ak and Kiri were leading you to a specific spot that they said was special. You were breathing a bit heavily due to your Avatar not being used to all the fast movements. Your stamina definitely needed some improvement. Neteyam was still lagging behind, making sure everyone was in his view.  Tuk was jumping around, playing with some plants along the way. Lo’ak came to a stop causing you to crash into his back. You thought, why does this keep happening? You rub your nose once again, punching Lo’aks back for stopping.

“Why’d you stop”

He could roll his eyes as you punched your shoulder in return. That led to you slapping each other's arms and hands repeatedly. Which then led to Kiri slapping the back of your heads. Despite being older than the both of them, you finally got the chance to really feel childish. You and Lo’ak always had a sibling relationship, the one where you're always bickering and fighting each other but in a good way. Lo’ak blew a raspberry at you, you mocked him back before Kiri once again slapped the back of your heads. Neteyam could only laugh at his actions while Tuk tried joining in. Kiri finally spoke up.

“If you skxawngs are done fighting, y/n would’ve noticed where we are right now”

Your ears lifted, finally studying the area around you. It all looked familiar until something clicked. The small area, surrounded by the plants and trees, the small pond. This was where you guys officially met each other. It honestly all felt like a dream. You quickly remember a singular tree where you guys carved into it. Running over to the tree, you spot the carvings, your initials. The other four walked over, watching as you delicately traced over the initials. You turn to them with a downturn grin, reminiscing the old times. What caught your eye even more was the small plus between yours and Neteyams initials. Cheeks heating up for a second, remembering that younger you harboured feelings for the older sully brother. Although those feelings were from years ago, it was still buried deep within you. Neteyam noticed as well, ears turning purple. Lo’ak noticed once more, snickering at them both with how oblivious they were. Tuk then yelled that she was bored. As if your minds were the same, you, Kiri, and Lo’ak shared a look. Neteyam and Tuk were clueless to what you guys were thinking. Lo’ak ran to Neteyam, tapping his shoulder running off while yelling you’re it. He was completely caught off guard, watching as all of you scattered from his proximity. Even Tuk ran away screaming in excitement. It took him a minute to process what just happened before dashing off to grab you guys. He first went after Tuk, knowing she was going to be the easiest to catch. Only a minute later he grabbed her. Tuk pouted as he led her back to the pond before running off again to catch you guys. Since the three of you were hiding it took Neteyam a little while to find one of you. Finding Lo’ak first, they both went out on a full on sprint. Lo’ak desperately running for his life, not sure if he was laughing or screaming or both.

You could hear his screams in the distance, trying to muffle your chuckles from escaping your lips. The screaming stopped, but then screaming was heard again but this time from Kiri. You could hear her yell cuss words as Neteyam was closing in on her. It fell silent once more. You kept your breathing short and quiet, as you heard soft footsteps coming towards you. Hiding in a bush, you see legs appearing right in front of you which makes you hold your breath. Neteyam had a feeling you were somewhere near, standing still to hear any sudden movements. Right at that moment he heard a subtle crunch of leaves in front of him. He squats down swiftly, eyes meeting yours. You stood up fast and started running like a bunny being chased. Neteyam followed after you, a look of amusement and determination on his face. You were much faster than he expected you to be. You might’ve been faster than Lo’ak somehow and he was fast. Only disadvantage you had was your stamina. Running for a minute straight with Neteyam hot on your tail, you started slowing down due to being tired. Neteyam sped up jumping, tackling you to the ground. A small yelp sound coming from your mouth as you made contact with the ground.

You were huffing for air, not used to running so much. Breathing heavily as you meet the gaze of Neteyams eyes that look green in this lighting. Neteyam talked quietly.

“I caught you”

Exuberant laughter slipped out as Neteyam talked. You haven’t felt this alive in forever. Neteyam joining in your laughter finally loosening up around you. The laughter died down, both looking at each other, then realising that Neteyam was on top of you from tackling you. Both of you had purple hues surfacing on your cheeks as the both of you separated in a hurry. He let out a quick apology as both of you pat the dirt off yourselves. You wave him off saying that it was alright trying to cool your cheeks. The walk back was a little awkward, especially since you ran quite the distance from the pond. Walking side by side both of you spoke at the same time, quickly apologising to each other in flustered states. You talk first seeing that he we​nt silent once more.

“How um, how is training? I bet you’re busy a lot.”

Neteyam fiddled with his fingers behind his back as he gave you a small glance then returned his gaze to the ground.

“Yes, very busy. Training good but very tiring”

You smile softly hearing his broken english. Over the years you were kept inside, the Na’vi language was one of the main things you studied. You appreciated the effort Neteyam had when communicating with you. You jog forward just a bit, walking backwards in front of him.

“Plltxe na’vi” (speak na’vi)

He looked at you with a stunned expression. Feeling the awkwardness fading away as he started feeling more open to talk to you normally like old times. He gave you a toothy smile as his voice gave off a teasing tone.

“Ngeyä lì'upam hek nì'it mi” (Your pronunciation is a bit strange still)

A deadpan face took over your features as you rolled your eyes before it was replaced with an amused look.  Reaching the pond, you started skipping towards the three who were waiting for you guys. Neteyam watched as you skipped away, a content grin on his face. Lo’ak groaned as he spotted you and Neteyam coming out of the forest.

“Finally! You took forever, we were bored waiting on you.”

You stick your tongue out while pulling your lower eyelid down.

“Calm down, it was only a couple minutes. Plus I was getting chased.”

Looking back pointing to his brother who was trailing behind you. Kiri chuckled under her breath seeing you and Lo’ak banter with each other. Neteyam joined Kiri in laughing, happy that he finally rekindled his friendship with you although there were still ways to go. All of you talked for a while and played a few more rounds of tag before the eclipse. Travelling back to the village meeting up with Norm and Jake once more. They told you your Avatar body can stay within the village because of the training you’ll be starting early in the morning. With that, Jake guides you to a small tent for you to stay in. Hugging Norm one last time before you left for the lab knowing it's dangerous to be wandering around at night. Saying your goodnights to everyone, you settle in your tent, laying down comfortably on your mat. You didn’t want to close your eyes. If you did, you’d return to your dying body which you absolutely hated. But you knew it was for the best. Closing your eyes takes in deep breaths before your consciousness is returned to your original body. Immediately pain took over your body. You felt another coughing fit rising in your chest. Pushing open the pod as fast as you could, you fell out but ignoring those around you. Running to a bathroom nearby letting out your coughs over the sink. All the coughing made it difficult to get air in your system, struggling to breathe.

Blood. The crimson colour of the liquid staining the white sink and your white lab coat. Your body finally decided to stop your coughing leaving you heaving for air. You take steps back before your back hits the wall, sliding down as you make contact with the tiled floor. You were so happy and lively a minute ago, now you were in pain and coughing blood on the floor. Just as your body settled, knocking came from the door.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Max told me he saw you running in a rush after unlinking.”

You stayed quiet for a minute not really sure if you had the strength to talk. You heard him repeat your name one more time. Whispering, voice terribly hoarse and strained.

“I’m okay Norm… just another small coughing fit”

Hearing him sigh, you knew he knew that this wasn’t just a “small” fit.

“Do you want me to wait here for you?”

His voice was delicate, as if he was talking to a small fragile child. You could only let out a small no, not wanting Norm to see the state you were in right now. Norm could only rest his forehead on the door, worried for you. He let out a quiet okay, hesitating to walk away from the door. Hearing the steps fading your head falls back against the wall wishing that this could all just end.

_

It had been a couple days since your first linking to your Avatar. The first couple days of training was mostly building up your stamina which was also accompanied by Lo’ak much to Neteyams debate. But also every day after unlinking, the coughing became more frequent. Mo’at had given you some remedies to help slow down the process of your condition but it still didn’t help with the aching and discomfort. Today, you were slightly excited, you moved on from building stamina to using a weapon. Not only that, Lo’ak couldn’t join because Jake knew Lo’ak would distract the both of you. That made Lo’ak annoyed because he wanted to teach you too.

You and Neteyam were walking together to the practice range for the bow and arrows. The first time being alone since the first day of being in your Avatar. The walk was silent but this time it was rather a comfortable silence than an awkward one. Even though the time spent with him was also with Lo’ak, the both of you had gotten closer, only speaking Na’vi when you were with him. There were stolen glances from time to time and teasing nudges. Neteyam felt like he was more free when he was around you. Reaching the range, Neteyam grabbed a practice bow for you to use. He gently passed it into your hands as he grabbed his own bow. Your tail is swishing around in anticipation.

“Now, this is one of our main weapons we use for both hunting and fighting. I will teach you the proper stance and draw back. Also how to aim for your target. Maybe later this week if you improve, we can go hunting.”

You were nervous to say the least. Neteyam demonstrated first, having a strong stance. Arms pulled back as he drawed the arrow, focusing on the target in front of him. As he let go, the arrow swiftly flew through the air perfectly hitting the middle of the target. Your face said it all, completely captivated. He slowly brought his bow back down, turning to face you with a proud look on his face. He waves you over, finally your turn to attempt to shoot an arrow. He let you try by yourself first, and it went terribly. He studied your horrible posture and stance, the way your arms were weirdly positioned in the air. Lastly, how weak your core looked. When you released the arrow, it didn’t reach all the way to the target. You hiss in embarrassment as you look at the arrow on the ground. Neteyam tried to suppress his laugh as you failed miserably. You gave him a glare, shutting him up immediately.

He made his way over to you grinning from ear to ear. He stands beside you, showing you how to stand. You copied him, but you still had some flaws in your stance. So he took on the more physical approach but looked for you permission first. Giving him a firm nod, he started with your arms. His hands caressed them gently as he positioned them in the proper angle as you drew the arrow back. His light touches had your cheeks heating up and your stomach churning. He then went to fix your legs, tapping them to give you a wider stance and making sure your feet are facing the proper directions. You still weren’t able to control your tail very well, so it was wagging in nervousness. When he got your stomach, your breath had hitched ever so slightly. He was too distracted with giving you the perfect stance to notice your nervous frame. His fingers brushed over your stomach as he said to tighten your core and to stand tall. He stepped back to see his work and gave a content nod to himself. He gave you the thumbs up to shoot, but you were still trying to cool down from his light touches. Your arms faltered a bit before shooting so he stopped you quickly. You turn your head to look at him, he is standing right in front of you. He adjusted your arms once more but stayed in close proximity to you to make sure you stayed standing in the stance. You couldn’t help but stare at him, he looked ethereal in the warm light of the sun. Neteyam distracted again trying to help with your aiming but then also met your eyes. Both of you had heat rising to your cheeks as both of you were entranced in each other's glimmering eyes. Neteyam was first to break the contact, quickly speaking with a soft tone to tell you to release the arrow.

From a distance, Jake wanted to check in just to see how you were doing. He stopped his steps seeing his oldest son guiding you. He felt deja vu wash over him seeing the scene. Remembering when Neytiri was the one guiding him for the first time. He saw the way both of you looked at each other. A smile reached his lips, chuckling softly seeing his son so relaxed in your presence. He watched as you shouted with joy after hitting the target and his son joining in with the cheering. Jake thought it was best not to interrupt the special moment the both of you were sharing.

_

Weeks passed. Each day that passes the weaker you feel. You were definitely improving a lot with your Avatar but your other body was the only thing that was dragging it down. There were times the pain got so great that there was physical pressure you felt through your Avatar. Those times you had to unlink to calm your real body down. Not only that, the blood and coughing situation had gotten extremely worse. You coughed up blood at least 2-3 times a day, the pain increasing each time. It hurt to talk and to eat, this led to you being malnourished. Norm had fought with you to eat and take better care of your body. Everytime the argument starts, it ends with you breaking down and Norm losing the fight. Your real body didn’t feel real anymore. Guilt also filled your system, every passing day that was spent with Neteyam only made your feelings for him grow. The past days you and Neteyam shared deep conversations and shared gentle touches. Lo’ak and Kiri can see how you guys looked at each other and constantly teased Neteyam about it. Even Neytiri saw how her son looked at you, vise versa. Although you were an Avatar, Neytiri had accepted you as a clan member which was huge.

When you woke up today, you felt worse than normal. Instead of looking into it, you ignored it, taking it as your normal pain. You quickly take the herbal medicine Mo’at had given you and trudged to the linking room. Halfway there you felt faint, using the wall as a support but you still proceeded to the linking pods. Norm had noticed your figure slowly approaching the room. He was extremely worried for your well being. He even tried to force you to eat but you kept refusing. There wasn’t much he could do at this point but to just let you do what you wanted.

You reached the pod, struggling to open it with your weak arms. Your arms shook as you lifted yourself up to lay down in the pod. Closing the lid, you took in a shaky breath as you transferred your consciousness to your Avatar. Waking up in your tent, you saw Neteyam patiently waiting outside for you. A smile made its way to your lips as you quietly walked up behind him. Just before you could scare him, he turned rapidly while shouting. That scared the shit out of you. Your mouth agape with a stunned expression. Neteyam burst out laughing, tears collecting on his waterline. You jokingly pushed him.

“NETEYAM! How’d you know I was coming up behind you?”

He tried calming down from his laughing fit, taking in deep breaths.

“You aren’t exactly the best at sneaking up on something quite yet. I could probably hear you footsteps from a mile away”

You could only laugh with him as both of you continued nudging each other. Neteyam looked at you, admiring your laugh and your smile. You noticed his silence, meeting his gaze. You looked to the ground with purple hues appearing on your cheeks. His smile widened seeing your reaction. An idea popped in his head.

“Shall we take a walk instead of training today?”

Your head perked up in interest, giving him a shy nod. You both made your ways to the village border. Taking steps into the forest, the sunlight making lines through the pants. Conversations flowed smoothly between you two, hands brushing against each other as you walked. The direction Neteyam took you was relatively new to you. But then again the forest was huge and anywhere would be new to you. Sharing laughs and teasing punches, you felt like you were on cloud nine. Just as you passed another clearing, something caught your attention in the corner of your eye. It was a tree that resembled the one in your dream. Your sudden stop made Neteyam tilt his head at you. He followed your gaze landing on the small tree in the middle of the clearing. He watched as you walked towards the tree, your face seemingly confused. You were confused about how this tree was the exact one from your dream. But seeing it in person, it was even more magnificent. A scoff of joy as you delicately touch the leaves.

Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. In his eyes you looked so spiritual when you looked at the tree with such care. He stepped into the clearing, approaching you with a soft smile. You tilt your head toward the ground as you sit under the tree. Patting the spot next to you, Neteyam crouched down taking the spot. Calming silence took over, enjoying each other's company. You were busy studying the environment around you, eventually resting your head on Neteyams shoulder. This made Neteyams body tense up, not used to this type of contact. He glanced down seeing you fiddle with the fallen leaves and the grass. Relaxing his shoulders, he hesitated for a second before resting his head on top of yours. Even taking another step forward by wrapping his tail around your waist. Both of you found solace with each other.

An hour passed like it was nothing. Neteyam felt like he was dreaming. Normally he didn’t focus much on other females in the clan but you were special to him. Your head was now resting on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heart beats. His chest hummed as he spoke with a gentle tone.

“I am glad that I got to train you instead of someone else”

He felt your cheeks rising, which made him smile too. But what he said next had you pause.

“How are my grandmother's remedies? I never got the chance to ask you about your healing.”

You stilled, ears folding down as guilt washed over you. You separate yourself from Neteyam as you look down ashamed. Neteyam tilts his head wondering why you looked so down. He grabbed your hands pulling them into his lap.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

You gripped his hands gently, finally looking up with a pained smile on your face.

“No no, you didn’t say anything bad…”

He brought one of his hands up to your cheek, delicately caressing it.

“What is wrong then?”

Your eyes moistened, breathing becoming uneven. Your voice was quiet and vulnerable.

“I… I lied to you Neteyam”

His face furrowed, confusion overtaking his emotions. He moved to sit right in front of you, hand still on your cheek.  

“What do you mean?”

You grab his wrist, bringing it down from your cheek. The tears heavily gather in your eyes, voice shaky, nervous about how he would react. You weren’t sure if you should lie again. Opting to tell the truth you avoid his gaze as you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m not healing Neteyam…”

Neteyam froze in place. There was a ringing in his ears that wouldn’t go away. His eyes studied your face to see if you were joking or not but you weren’t. He removed his hand from your grip. The way he looked at you shattered your heart. Neteyam wasn’t sure if he should yell or not talk at all. Instead he whispered under his breath.

“Why”

You tried grabbing his hands again but he avoided your touch. You were stumbling over your words as you tried saying that it was for the best but this made Neteyam even more angry.

“WHY!”

His yelling made you flinch. You were speechless, never have you seen Neteyam act like this. Tears were now freely falling down your cheeks as you tried explaining but it was hard to to get words out from your hard breathing. He felt betrayed, betrayed that you would do this to yourself and him. Betrayed that you would even lie to everyone in his family, especially Kiri. You desperately tried to explain, but the words coming out weren’t good enough for him. He stood up, a dark expression overshadowing his face.

“Neteyam please, lying to you was the only choice I had”

His nose flared. “What about the choice of just telling me at the very start? THAT WAS A CHOICE! We could’ve worked through this together! Instead you chose to hide like a coward and hide the pain. You are selfish, just like all the other Skypeople.”

Neteyam’s voice was strained, not wanting to talk more as tears were now threatening his eyes. But his anger was too much, more words just spilled out.

“You bring shame to the clan and to me. To think that I was falling for you. You will always be an evil skyperson at heart.”

His words cut you and it stung terribly. You tried reaching out, but in return he stepped back. Your chest burned in dejection. You knew you were in the wrong but it was too late. Your body entered a panic mode, your breathing turned to wheezing. Every breath felt like fire in your lungs. Neteyam still stood in front of you, upset and depressed from your lie.

“Neteyam please, please don’t leave it like this”

You stood up taking small steps towards him. But every step you took forward, he stepped back. The next step you took, your body went limp. Eyes closing as your body hits the ground. Neteyams eyes widened in shock. All his anger dispersed, replaced with shock and worry. He got onto his knees immediately, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you.

“Y/n? Y/n? Hey wake up, you can’t just pass out like that.”

He lightly tapped your face, trying to wake you up.

“Stop joking around y/n”

He started to panic. Salty liquid running down his face as you weren’t waking up. Neteyam picked up, carrying you in bridal style. He ran through the forest in a hurry, yelling as he saw the village in his line of blurry vision. The yelling caught Jake's attention, his eyes found Neteyam running with your body in his grasp. Jake ran in Neteyams direction seeing that you were unconscious. Reaching Neteyam, he saw that he had tears running down his face.

“What happened?” Jake's voice stern but filled with concern.

“We-we were arguing but then she uh she suddenly collapsed. I’m so sorry it was my fault sir.”

Neteyam was sobbing uncontrollably as he got out his choked up words. This made something click in Jake's head. You must’ve been unlinked for some reason. He ushers Neteyam to the healing tent. Telling him to place your body down on one of the mats. Mo’at saw this and once she saw your body she knew. She got to work right away making sure your Avatar body didn’t sustain any injuries. Jake told Neteyam to follow him as Mo’at worked on your Avatar body.

Entering the family tent, Kiri was the only one there. She was caught off guard seeing both Neteyam and Jake in distress. Jake had gathered some things to bring with him before setting off to the lab. Kiri tried asking what was going on but both of them left in a hurry. Running through the dense forest, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He remembered what he had said to you and regrets it deeply.

_

When you collapsed, it turned out that Norm was the one to unlink you. The panic attack you had with your Avatar had a large effect on your actual body. Your vitals were spiking as you started to cough up a dangerous amount of blood. The coughing did not slow down until you fell unconscious. Opening the pod, Norm was met with a scene that made his blood run cold. Your unconscious body, blood covering your lower jaw and the top of your shirt. He picked you up, yelling to everyone to get a bed set up with ivs and medicine prepared.

As machines were being attached to your body, a door slammed open to reveal Jake and Neteyam. Norm raced to Jake, pulling him to talk about what the hell happened. Norm was in such a distressed state that Jake had to calm him down. Neteyam stood only still, seeing your body in the white bed. His eyes trailed the machines that were hooked up onto your body. What had him shakened up the most was how sick you look. The last time he saw your human body you were pale and thin but seeing it again, it was like it doubled. Your top was stained in your blood, you were so pale that he could see your veins so clearly. Not only that, your face was so sunken, and your arms so small that it could snap in half if you weren’t careful. He fell to his knees, tears gathering in his eyes again. His knees shifted closer to your body, carefully touching your hand that was hanging off the edge. A hand covering his mouth suppressing his cries as he watches your chest rise up and down slowly.

Norm and Jake were discussing the possibilities. They were interrupted by Neteyams appearance. Jake saw how red his son's eyes were, he pulled him into a tight hug knowing his relationship with you. The hug stopped short when Neteyam mumbled something about you. He pulled away asking Neteyam what he said. He replied in a quavering voice that you were dying. Norms' eyes widened, followed by asking Neteyam what he meant by that.

“She told me that she lied. Lied about grandmother having a cure for her…disease”

The last word coming out strained. Norm fell back into a chair behind him as Jake was trying to process the new information.

_

Days passed, you were still unconscious. Neteyam never left your side, he slept and watched over you every second of the passing days. His family grew worried as he started neglecting his own health. Neytiri understood Neteyam the most. She knew how much he cherished you just as much as she cherished Jake. Tuk was held back at home, Jake didn’t want his youngest daughter seeing your current state. But he couldn’t hold back Kiri and Lo’ak. When they saw your unconscious figure, Lo’ak went numb as Kiri cried. Spider was absolutely devastated when he heard you collapsed. Although you both didn’t hang out as much since the start of your training, he loved you so much as an older sister. Three times a day, one of them dropped food off for Neteyam as he never left the lab. Most of the time he didn’t touch the food and just left it to go cold. Every night he whispers his regrets and sheds warm tears hoping that you would just wake up.

On a certain day, he finally went outside but went directly to the tree of voices. Making tsaheylu, he asked for Eywas help. Wishing to help you recover and for you to wake up. He stayed at the tree for hours, repeating his wishes to Eywa. When he thought that it was enough, he sighed as he stood up and walked away from the tree of voices. As he walked back to the lab, he saw Kiri, Lo’ak and Spider waiting outside. He gave them a look of question. Lo’ak spoke up saying that you had woken up. He made a beeline to the door until Kiri stopped him. She told him that grandmother told them to wait as she examined you. He huffed in frustration, wanting to see you now but knew better than to go against his grandmother's wishes. Minutes passed as Neteyam grew more impatient. But once he heard the door creak open he whipped his head to see what it was. Mo’at stepped out with Jake, giving the children a nod to go on in. Neteyam strides past them both, needing to see you.

His breath hitched seeing you awake and smiling at his appearance.

“Hey”

Your voice was raspy and low. Giving all your strength to give him a bright smile. Neteyam broke down as he ran to you, basically jumping in your arms. A yelp left your mouth as he embraced you tight. His tears soaked your shirt, you rubbed his back trying to comfort him.

“I dont think it’s a good idea to be crushing a sick person”

His eyes shot open, quickly getting off you. He wipes his tears as he apologises. You could only give him a teasing smile. But that smile fell as you needed to discuss something serious with Neteyam. You weakly grab his hands, making him look at you.

“Neteyam, there’s something we have to talk about.”

Telling by your tone, he knew it was going to be serious. You continued talking, as you were talking it was as if Neteyam had gone deaf. The words leaving your mouth had him shocked.

“... I asked Mo’at for a consciousness transfer.”

“No”

His voice is serious and deep. Your grip tightened on his hand.

“Neteyam, this is the only way for me to live longer.”

“no , it’s too risky. I can’t let you go through with this.”

You sat up, fully facing him.

“I understand the risks but I'm dying Neteyam and it's not going to change. This is the best I can do.”

“If it doesn’t work then you will die”

“I’m dying either way Neteyam and it’s a risk I'm willing to take” Tears are now building up in your eyes. “Mo’at already approved of the idea, I’m not going to back out now”

He felt the anger come back into his system. Instead of saying a word to you, he stormed out of the lab radiating with displeasure. You tried yelling for him, but your voice was too weak and strained. Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak watched as he slammed the door open witnessing his heated demeanour. They gave each other looks trying to figure out what had happened. Lo’ak got up to go after Neteyam while Kiri and Spider went inside to see you. Kiri saw you curled up in a ball, crying. She rushed over to you, bringing you into an embrace. Spider only felt upset, seeing you cry made him rush after Neteyam. Kiri tried calming you down, her heart hurt for you seeing you in so much pain. She waited till your breathing slowed so she could ask what had happened. You had told her in short breaths about your consciousness transfer and how it led Neteyam to disagree with you. Kiri knew the risks of this but she knew you would rather risk it than continue living in pain until you eventually passed. She rubbed your back, hoping Lo’ak could change Neteyams mind about the whole thing.

Lo’ak had finally caught up to his brother, grabbing his arm to turn him around. Neteyam ripped his grip off his arm. Lo’ak stared at him in puzzlement.

“What the hell are you so mad about?”

Those words made Neteyam feel worse, pushing Lo’ak back not wanting to talk to anyone. Lo’ak tried grabbing him again since he kept turning away from him. Which led to him being shoved even harder. Neteyams tone was low and hoarse.

“Back off.”

Lo’ak decided to push back, annoyed at his brother. This set Neteyam off. Pushing Lo’ak to the ground yelling in his face.

“I said BACK OFF.”

“THEN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” He got off the ground, shoving his face in his, irritation moulding his features. Neteyam stayed silent for a moment, whispering under his breath.

“Y/n is going to do a consciousness transfer…”

Lo’ak wasn’t surprised. His lack of reaction made Neteyam confused. Why isn’t he mad? Why does he look like he already knew? In fact Lo’ak knew a day like this would come. You and him had a conversation about the transfer, and he reacted a bit like Neteyam when you first brought it up. The only difference was that he didn’t know about the lie until now. But he came to terms with the idea because he wanted you to have a better life. He saw how happy you were when you were in the forest, with the people. After hearing about you lying about being healed, that only made him want you to do the transfer more. He didn’t want you to be in pain for the rest of the time you have left. He knew Neteyam felt that way too but he was in a stage of denial and Lo’ak could see that. You were right, if you were dying either way, Lo’ak rather it be through the eye of Eywa. Passing without having to deal with pain or continue living in pain. And if the transfer worked, you could finally live the life you deserved.

“I know”

Those words leaving Lo’aks lips had Neteyam baffled. His face scrunched up coming closer to Lo’ak, asking what he meant by “he knew '' in a threatening tone. Lo’ak told him that he had a hunch ever since you first talked to him about the possibility of a transfer. You had even told him to not mention it to anyone else. Neteyam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He ignored Lo’aks yelling as he ran away, wanting to be alone. Spider finally caught up to Lo’ak but he didn’t see Neteyam.

_

Two days passed since you revealed your wish to do the transfer. Neteyam never came by once since then and you were disheartened by that. Kiri and Lo’ak would be the only ones that came by and even Jake. They kept saying that Neteyam refused to leave the tent when you asked if he was coming. You were also growing weaker as more time passed after you woke up. Your coughing was still harsh but not as bad as the one that made you go unconscious. That was what you thought at least but Kiri thought it was all the same and it severely concerned her. The only thing you were concerned about was Neteyam. Today no one was here and it was just you. The transfer was to be done tomorrow but you had an itch. The urge to step outside in your current body.

You slip off the bed, holding on to the rails for support as your legs are weak. Walking weakly to your room to grab fresh clothes. You sat on your bed and took a minute to yourself to just study around you. Hand gently touch your blanket and drag it across. Eyes moving to your desk, spotting a picture with your and the others when you were younger. You remember how Norm had trouble taking the picture due you guys running around constantly. A faint smile made its way to your lips, but faded away because this may be your last time ever seeing it. The pain in your chest grew too great and you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer. You thought that you came into terms with death but in reality, you hoped that the transfer would work. You were just a scared kid who went through too much at a young age. Your eyes moistened at the possibility of not seeing anyone anymore. Norm, Kiri, Lo’ak, Spider, Tuk, Jake, even Neytiri. Neytiri had grown quite fond of you over the time you were training with Neteyam. The one person you would miss most of all is Neteyam but now he wasn’t even speaking with you or wanting to see you. Tears streaming down your eyes as you bring the picture close to your chest. Holding it tight not wanting it to disappear from your sight.

You eventually stood back up with the picture still in your hands. Wobbly walking over to the door, grabbing a mask. You look down at the mask, bringing it up to your face and securing it around your head. Your body was tired but you had to go outside. Pushing the door open, warm air floods through the door. You admire the scenery before you, never getting used to the forest's beauty. Your breaths were short, mind hazy and skin feeling tingling. Walking with a calm demeanour towards the forest. The other Avatars looked at you with odd looks as you passed them. It seemed like you alerted them, one of them running to get in contact with Norm. Your steps grew faster as you got closer to the lush trees. The others yelled and ran to get you back but they immediately lost you as your body disappeared in their view once you entered the forest. Your bare feet dig into the dirt with every step you take forward. The sun glimmered through the leaves and plants. Eyes fluttering closed every now and then wanting to memorise the flora and animals you see.

Your body wandered the forest for minutes before you stumbled upon the same tree. Standing in place as you just stare at the tree. Recalling what happened the last time you were here. A frown made its place on your face, the place where you and Neteyam fought. But also the place where you found peace within each other. Taking a hesitant step into the clearing, feet connecting with the soft grass. Hands reaching for the leaves that hang down from the willow like tree. Its leaves were turning orange and yellow. In ways it was similar to you, wilting away as time closed in. Taking a seat under the dying tree, legs laid out flat, picture laying in your lap. A deep breath entering your lungs, it started to ache but you were used to it. All you did was sit and stare at the nature around you. Neither did you realise the liquid dripping down your cheeks. Your breathing shallowed, the hazy feeling taking over your senses. Eyes drifting off into darkness as the grip on the picture loosened.

_

Everyone was in a panic. When Norm got the alert of you leaving the lab and just disappearing he jumped yelling for Jake who was nearby. Norm ran to the tent, Jake stood up quickly seeing the distress on his friend's face.

“She’s gone, she disappeared into the forest”

Those words caught Neteyams attention as he was hiding away in the corner of the tent. Disappeared? In your human body? Jake called a search party, shouting to search the forest for a small female human. Neteyam remembered the last time you were out in your human body, the reason you had caught this horrid disease. He got up swiftly, grabbing his knife in case anything went wrong. His body was in both panic and hunting mode. Lo’ak, Spider and Kiri quickly join in the search, scared for their friend.

Running through the forest, they searched relentlessly for you but time passed and they grew more anxious. Neteyam had this gnawing feeling, regretting not seeing you for two whole days. He knew your body wasn’t adaptive to the pandora atmosphere and every passing minute felt like a needle was stabbing his chest. He was upset with you, yes but he held you dearly to his heart. If he thought the last time he saw you was during the fight you guys had, he would never forgive himself. Even thinking about that made tears well in his eyes as he was searching for you desperately. But as he was running, a specific place popped into his head. The tree. The one place that you and him shared, the place you both shared the most intimate moment but also a bad moment. He dug his feet in the ground, forcing him to stop and turn directions. Racing towards the area where you might be, hoping you would be there. His heart was beating like crazy as he got closer. Bursting through the plants, his eyes landed on your small figure laying against the tree. A feeling of relief washed over him but quickly disappeared seeing your eyes closed. He ran to your body, kneeling down and putting his ear against your chest. He released the breath he was holding after hearing your heart beating. The only thing he was concerned about was how little your chest was rising.

Quickly picking you up in his arms, dropping the picture in your lap in the process. The glass from the frame shattered on the grass as Neteyam ran back to the village. The leaves from the tree, wilting faster and falling onto the ground. Reaching the village, he started yelling to grab his father's attention. Jake spotted him with your small frame in his arms. He took you out of his arms, running to Mo’at. Mo’at rushed them to put you on one of the mats. Neteyam was breathing heavily, tears were now flowing down his face seeing you not wake up. He kept asking if you would be okay but Mo’at ignored him, focusing on your body. Jake went out to call back the search party, making Kiri and Lo’ak rush in seeing your frail body not awake. Spider made it back too and fell to his knees seeing your unconscious state. Jake and Norm pacing outside while Neytiri was comforting the crying Tuk. Mo’at stood up abruptly facing everyone.

“We must get her to the Spirit tree at once”

Neteyam's eyes widened, would the fight be the last thing you guys shared? Jake told Neteyam to grab your body as he went to grab your Avatar. Neytiri went to gather the clan to the Spirit tree instantly. Kiri and Lo’ak helped Mo’at and their mother as both Jake, Neteyam, and Norm raced to the tree. Neteyam's tears never stopped, he was torn and hurt that this could be the last time he would ever see you. The glowing tree was seen from a distance, legs carrying him faster. Clans members catching up to them, gathering around the tree. Neteyam gently placed your body under the tree, supporting your head before gently removing his hand. He looked at your face, you looked so calm. His eyes widened as he saw your eyes twitch. His eyes were the first thing you saw as you opened your eyes. His eyes were beautiful, a green shade in this lighting. It was like looking at an angel. His tears dropped on to your mask as you brought your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his hand going over yours.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

His sobs made you tear up as he kept apologising over and over again. You kept forgiving him over and over, trying to reassure him that it was okay but it didn’t stop him. The family gave them a bit of time as they still waited for the rest of the clan to gather at the tree. Neytiri and Jake saw so many similarities with them and you guys. The way you caressed his son's face brought memories back to when the war was finally over.

You kept trying to reassure him but he didn’t listen. Your gentle smile graced your lips as both your hands weakly grabbed his hands for him to stop. One hand went up to wipe his tears away as he gently gripped your hands tighter.

“There’s no need to cry”

He shook his head, “no, everything is my fault. I never should have ran away. It was immature of me to not talk about it. You only wanted what was best for all of us. Instead I got mad and left you alone.”

Your lips pursed as you brought your hand down to lay on top of his.

“It wasn’t your fault. You had every right to be mad. Although when you left it hurt me, I don’t want our last conversation to be fighting. I-”

A stinging sensation entered your lungs. Coughing erupted from your mouth but this time there was no blood. The lack of blood shocked Neteyam, not sure if that was a bad sign. Before he could get up to grab Mo’at your hand stopped him. You shook your head at him, telling him not yet. He kneeled back down with concern washing over his tight features. You caress his face as you let out shaky words.

“Neteyam, there is something important I have to tell you before the transfer starts. Ever since we were children I was always the closest to you. You somehow took my heart away from a young age. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you but after the long years apart it was buried. But more recently those feelings resurfaced and grew stronger the longer I spent my time with you. The way you talk, laugh, and just exist makes my body feel so light. Your eyes are one of the most beautiful features I love about you. The way it can look different in different lights. The green shades are especially my favourite. They remind me of the forest of Pandora, and all the flora around it. Seeing you everyday was the highlight of my days, and training with our teasing banter was one of the best highlights. I seriously love you Neteyam, for the longest time I've loved you. Nga yawne lu oer ma tìyawn. Oel ngati kameie.”

Tears streamed down his face even more from those last few words. He brought your hands into his chest as he let out quiet words of his own.

“Nga yawne lu oer ma yawntutsyìp fìtxan nìtxan. Oel ngati kameie.”

Both of you shed tears together. His forehead leaning on to your mask. Once he pulled back, the expression on your face was sad once more.

“When this ceremony starts, please be prepared for the worst. There is a chance I will not make it back through the eye of Eywa. But I love you so much, please remember that. I will always be with you no matter where I am.”

This only made him cry harder but he nodded faintly as he understands the risks of this transfer. You told him to prepare for the worse but he knew he would never be fully prepared. But he stayed strong for you. Mo’at taps his shoulder indicating that everyone is here and the ceremony will have to start. He didn’t let go of your hand until he fully stood up, giving you one last look before sitting beside his siblings. Mo’at started the chant as the rest of the clan slowly joined. You close your eyes letting yourself fall still. The ground pulsing with its bioluminescent light in rhythmic beats with the clan. The roots make their way to the back of your neck along with your Avatar. A white tunnel taking over your vision. Minutes passed as the chant was still going strong. The family hopes only good results will come after the transfers end. Neteyam begging Eywa to give you a second life. Mo’at then went silent causing everyone else to go silent as well. Neteyam got up in a hurry to your body. His heart stopped seeing only your human body twitching. It didn’t work. He carefully took the mask off your face, a smile present on your lips as you talked softly.

“I saw her Neteyam. Beautiful.”

Your mouth opened once more but the lights in your eyes faded before you could talk once more. The last you saw was his deep green eyes. The pain fled your body, becoming relaxed as you took your last breath. Jake could only watch as it felt like Grace's death all over again. Neteyam sat there, numbness overtook his emotions. The sounds of Kiri and Tuks' cries sounded muffled. There was a ringing sound travelling through his ears. His hands were holding on to your cold ones as he stared into your blank eyes. Wet tears slipped out from his eyes, collecting on the tip of his chin. The droplets falling on to your cheeks. Neytiri bent down, bringing his head into her shoulder. Louds sobs broke out, burying his face deeper into his mothers embrace.

_

Your body was washed and decorated with traditional Na’vi clothing. Your Avatar has the same done to it. Neteyam had been numb ever since his breakdown in his mothers arms. He took off his armband, wrapping it around your upper arm. He brought everyone to the willow tree. Making a hole at the base, dropping flowers to make a bed. Kiri had braided a single braid with her beads, Lo’ak tied your hair with one of his bands. Tuk laid a wooden sun that you carved for her a while back. They placed your fragile body onto the bed of flowers. Placing your Avatar right beside you. An atokirina' laying in Neteyam’s hand as you let it flow down onto your body. The clan surrounds the tree, singing and chanting for the fallen member. Neteyam could only look down to your peaceful face as the singing in the background drowned his sorrows.

_

As days passed, he would come back to the tree and sit under it. He retrieved the fallen picture that he found before digging the hole. The picture broke his heart all over again. When weeks passed, the tree found life once more. It felt as if you were there with him whenever he visited the tree with the picture in hand. He would always shed tears but today he smiled as he looked at the flourishing tree. He set his forehead against the bark as he whispered.

“Oe nga lomtu ma yawntutsyìp” (I miss you darling)

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights Pt. 4: Round 3 -Marc

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: nothin- you're safe

Genre: fluff- still just fluff lol

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

As much as you'd like to sit and stew on your date with Jake the way you did with Steven, you're starting to think it's best for everyone not to draw this out any longer than absolutely necessary, so the following Friday you text the trio again, this time addressing Marc, with a message identical to the one you sent Steven and Jake.

Marc. Your week starts Sunday. You have until next Sunday to plan and execute a date on a day of your choosing or you forfeit your turn.

Marc almost immediately shoots back an affirmative like Jake did.

Okay.

But it wasn't until the next day that he reached out to give you any information on your date.

Hey y/n, right now my plan is to pick you up at 7 pm on Friday. Is that okay?

You chuckle to yourself as you read the message. He's the only one who asked if his choice was convenient for you. Even if that time didn't originally work you would make it work, if that's what time his plans are for you have no intentions to make it any harder.

Of course! See you then.

You shoot him back your reply quickly. Friday. You just need to make it through Friday. That is doable. On Thursday you remember to ask for a dress code since none of them seem particularly fond of revealing their plans in advance and when you're again told to keep it casual, you pick out a pair of shorts and a crop top for your third mystery date. Marc knocks on your door just after 7 looking a bit frantic when you open the door.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. I brought you flowers." Marc says holding out a bouquet of pretty purple and white blooms.

"Oh, it hasn't even been five minutes, don't worry about it. Give me just a second to set these up in a vase and then we can go. Okay?" You tell him, turning back into your apartment to put the flowers somewhere.

"Sure!" He calls after you without crossing the threshold. You don't actually have any vases lying around so you stick them in one of your reusable water bottles until you can get them a better home. No one's ever gotten you flowers before so keeping a vase in your apartment has literally never occurred to you before this moment. Marc waits patiently at your door until you return. It's strange to realize this but before now you hadn't really thought about it much until now. Usually, the boys move about your apartment as if they live here but through this whole process, none of them have stepped inside. Whether that was something they agreed on in advance or just a subconscious side effect of the temporary dynamic change you're not sure but you're not about to tip the scales for any of them by inviting Marc in. He can wait at the door if that's what he's chosen to do.

"Okay! Let's go." You smile at him once you're done, stepping out and locking your apartment door.

"Do you have your underground card by the way? We'll have to hop on the train from here." Marc tells you before you leave the building.

"Yeah, I've got it. Where are we going?" You ask.

"Oxford Circus." He says.

"Oxford Circus? What are we doing over there?" You ask frowning in confusion. The name of the station does not give you any clues as to what you'll be doing.

"That's all I'm gonna give you til we get there babes." Marc says.

"Fine." You say with exaggerated annoyance that makes Marc laugh as the two of you walk to the nearest underground station. You catch the next train headed for Oxford Circus while Marc asks you about how your week has been at work. Once you're off the train Marc takes your hand as he walks the streets to an unknown destination. After a few minutes, he pulls open the door to a building that you just barely catch the name of.

"Minigolf?!" You gasp.

"I thought it'd be fun, something laid back and low stakes. You know, except for the fact that you're definitely gonna lose."

"I'm gonna lose?! Oh, you are so going down Spector." You laugh.

"Yeah sure totally." He scoffs as you walk up to the desk at the front. The two of you pick your course, get your clubs and choose from the basket of colorful golf balls, yours blue and his yellow, and then the competition begins. You keep score because Marc is notorious for not doing that properly whenever you play games. By the time you get to the last of the nine holes of the course, it's not hard to guess how things will end. You line up what should be your final shot and knock the bright blue ball against an edge of the course that pushes it into the hole.

"HA! That's game baby! You lose." You jump up when it rolls in.

"Hey now, I could totally make this shot you know. It's not over til it's over." Marc defends.

"Even if you do make this shot Marc you're still five up. You can't beat me at this point." You shrug and Marc lines up for his next putt. It takes Marc two more shots to get his ball in.

"Damn." He shakes his head.

"Yeah- I totally wiped the floor with you." You laugh.

"No no, you wanna have the higher number obviously, so I win." Marc says looking at the scorecard.

"I know I've called you an idiot a number of times but I don't think you're that dumb. Or maybe you are if you think that's gonna work." You scoff. Marc slaps a hand against his chest dramatically.

"Ouch! Must you kick a man while he's down?" He sighs.

"Aw poor baby." You pout at him. "I'd feel worse if you hadn't declared that you'd beat me before we even started." You smirk at him.

"How evil." Marc smiles.

"That's what you get for saying I would and I quote 'definitely lose'. Looks like the stakes weren't what you thought they were."

"When did you get so good at mini golf anyway?" He asks.

"Oh I don't know. I don't play that often."

"What?" He blinks at you.

"I'm just good at most things." You shrug.

"I'd do well to remember that then." He hums.

"Yes. You would." You smile and turn to walk back to the desk to return your club and golf ball with Marc quickly catching up to walk beside you.

"So- I was thinking we could get burgers, or if you want something that's more upscale there's an Italian place not far from here that's pretty good." Marc suggests once the two of you have exited the building.

"In the theme of laid back and low stakes- burgers sound great." You say with a slight nudge.

"Awesome, there's a burger joint a couple blocks down that's so good even Steven likes going there." Marc throws an arm over your shoulders as you walk.

"Really? They have vegan options I'm guessing?" You ask.

"They do indeed. Although- since Steven isn't rambling in my head tonight I think I'll pass on the vegan options this time around. Don't tell him." Marc winks at you.

"Your secret is safe with me." You giggle. You've always found it sweet that Marc, despite not actually being vegan, tries to accommodate Steven's lifestyle as often as he does. Jake really can't be bothered- not that you blame him honestly- he's not vegan either, there's no reason for him to go out of his way to choose vegan options but Marc's attempt at consideration is nice. It only takes you about five minutes to make it to the restaurant Marc was talking about and since the place isn't busy when you get there it doesn't take long to get your food once you've ordered.

"I can see why even Steven likes this place." You hum popping a fry into your mouth.

"Good right?" Marc smiles.

"Yeah, I'll definitely be coming back here." You nod.

"Well- sounds like I'm doing pretty damn good tonight then."

"You're certainly better at planning dates than you are at playing mini golf, I'll give you that much." You shrug.

"I think I can accept that as your official assessment." He says.

"Yeah?" You chuckle.

"Yeah! Imagine if I sucked as bad at date planning. Now that would be something I can't recover from."

"I mean- it's not like I'd go home and block you if you planned a bad date." You wink.

"Sure but not getting blocked is such a low bar. I'm aiming for way higher." Marc says.

"You're doing great so far." You chuckle. The two of you joke and chat while finishing your food and even once all that's left is the rubbish you keep talking until eventually the place is getting ready to close and you have to leave. Your train ride back to your apartment is similarly filled with chatter. It's always interesting to you how no matter how long you spend with Marc you never actually run out of things to talk about with him. When you think about it, that actually applies to Jake and Steven too, it's like you can never spend enough time with them. It's nice, having someone, or in this case, a trio of someones, that you don't get tired of being around. Once you're back at your apartment there's an awkward transition from whatever you're talking about to goodbyes- neither of you particularly rushing for the night to end.

"Well- we made it back." Marc says.

"We did. I had a good time tonight." You tell him with a smile.

"That's all I was hoping for." He says. You chuckle and turn your back for long enough to unlock your apartment and then you face him again, leaning forward a bit to give Marc a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight Marc." You say quietly before stepping into your apartment.

"Wait-" Marc says before you can shut the door.

"Yes?" You tilt your head at him. You can practically see the gears turning in his head before he speaks again.

"When will we see you again?" He asks. You pause for a moment and consider what would be the best answer.

"Soon." You offer. Giving a specific date wouldn't do any good. If it's too soon you'll be pressured to rush the decision, and if it's too far anxiety may eat the boys up before you even get around to giving an answer.

"Just- soon?" His brows draw together in confusion.

"I'm sorry that I don't have a better answer it's just- well I've got a lot to think about here, I need some time to sort through my thoughts." You tell him.

"Sorry- we shouldn't pressure you. It's all so- strange, we know. It's just- well you know how we can be I guess." Marc says. You look at him for a moment, it's not often that Marc's nerves show, but right now he's fiddling with his fingers and you know for a fact that he's more anxious than he wants to let on.

"Before the month is over. I'll text you all." You say in an attempt to ease his uncertainty.

"That's three weeks." He says.

"Yeah, I know. That- should give me enough time to work out my feelings about this whole thing. And- you can pass that message along to Steven and Jake, yeah? Before the end of the month. I'll message you all and we'll meet up to talk." You nod as Marc's shoulders visibly drop slightly. As if having a timeline just drastically decreased how tense he was.

"Okay. We'll be waiting, whenever you're ready." He tells you.

"Goodnight Marc." You say.

"Goodnight y/n." Marc says. With that, you fully enter your apartment and shut the door behind you. Tonight was fun. So was your date with Jake the other week and Steven's before that. You simply enjoy spending time with all of them- which, you already knew. The more you think it over the more you are sure that you're in way over your head, but it's a little late to worry about that now. You have a decision to make. But you also have three weeks before an answer is expected. Tonight you'll just let yourself enjoy the post-date bliss and you'll worry about the decision tomorrow. Or the next day. You'll get to it. Just not tonight.

***

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