#we are like parallel lines (no way we'll meet)

[jesncin]

Chimera Constantine breakdown, refs & nods mega-post

Welcome to the master post of behind the scenes for the Chimera Constantine comics. In the style of the Sons of Mars ones I made, this post archives our research and process. So here we go! This will be a mix of showing references and personal anecdotes for how we cobbled this project together.

I'll be repeating some things I've mentioned across blog posts because I like having all this info in one place.

So! There's a lot of ways to go about re-interpretation and re-imagining a story, and one of my techniques is to not get overly attached to research. While it's good to be informed about a character, sometimes knowing every little thing about them can make one hesitant to innovate and try something different with them. So I'm purposely mindful about how much material I research.

But how does something like that work when the character in question has only 2-3 total appearances, one arc, and a quick revisit several years later? We play twin telephone.

For this project, Cin read the Hellblazer Golden Boy arc and vaguely retold it to Jes, who would then write a story based on assumptions and half-remembered memories of the story. Letting personal experience, influences and bias fill the blanks. We're inspired by how Naoki Urusawa wrote Pluto based on his mis-remembered memories of reading Astro Boy. Also when I was a kid I used to look at book covers and summaries and make up a story based on the limited information I was given. It's fun for me. Part of why I love obscure characters so much is that the lack of content about them lets the reader fill in the blanks about their lives and try telling new stories about them that aren't constrained by a saturated canon.

The original Golden Boy arc written by Jamie Delano (#39-40) is about John Constantine coming to the realization that he strangled his twin in the womb. After taking some 'shrooms, John...manifests into another reality, it's very surreal. There, John meets his twin from a universe where John had died, and his brother gets to live. The twin (taking on the name John Constantine, we'll call him Golden Mage to keep it simple) is John's opposite in every better way. They decide to merge their souls to restore...the universe. You kind of had to be there.

John's twin returns many issues later (#249) to wrap up a different arc, there he and the story are written by Andy Diggle.

The first panel of our full comic references the tarot cards John gets from his reading with Zed.

This panel is a direct reference to this scene where John sees his own shadow on a curtain after his reading with Zed. I like the imagery of this arc, even when the dialogue describing twins is really cringe. We changed it to a mirror to reinforce the mirror imagery throughout the comic. Speaking of which...!

Through Jes' reworking of the story, mirrors were streamlined to be the main way alternate universes were portrayed in the story. They'd be the main motif that paralleled the twins too. In issue #249 of Hellblazer, John uses the mirror to confront his twin who resides within himself after their soul-merge years ago.

The line "He's so beautiful, he frightens me." is spoken by a doctor witnessing the Golden Boy's birth in his universe. We repurposed it to be John's dialogue for when he's describing the man he sees in the mirror.

John's twin uses a sacrifice involving these candles to summon his sickly twin. Jes repurposed the use of candles to a magic salt circle that contains spirits like the Golden Boy (he's nicknamed "Goldie" in our take).

The Golden Boy! Even though he died in the womb, he's portrayed as a boy. Probably because a floating fetus wasn't what they were going for. We wanted to give him a distinct look that foreshadows how much he would grow his hair out. I like that his mouth isn't visible! We use the shape of his eyes and posing to get across how he's feeling. It gives him a vacant-toddler-stare I find really endearing.

We made some minor adjustments to the Golden Mage's design. Initially, we followed his canonical pulled back long hair. But since he was a challenging character to emote when we had one less arm to work with, we decided to part his hair so that it could carry how he's feeling. I like when I can get it to cover a part of his face for intense moments! If it was animated, it would 100% be expressive Ghibli hair.

Our main goal for Golden Mage's characterization is to make him feel like his own person. In the original arc, he's less of a sibling and more of an au of John Constantine himself. He doesn't get his own name. Despite gloating about having a better and more fulfilling love life than John, he also shared the exact same love interests John does. Being a twin is less about a family story and more a vehicle to talk about self hatred and potential here. Which isn't fair to the individuality of the characters!

(note, this is not how the panels look in the og comic, I've rearranged them so that they display on this post better)

So we characterized the Golden Mage to still have his canon charisma (albeit with the dialogue toned way down from his original appearance), but to have a thinly veiled temper under all that bravado to foil his con-man trickster brother. The Golden Mage was vaguely described as not being particularly attached to the love he receives. Golden Mage is also dismissive of his womb twin's death, saying it's something he shouldn't grieve since he never really knew him. We reinterpreted these lines as him being in denial over his brother's death, thinking himself as above his own feelings of grief.

Also as a tiny note, we kept the Golden Mage's name ambiguous to keep with the vibe of the original comic, but in my mind I headcanon his full name to be Marigold "Goldie" Constantine. The yellow flower is culturally associated with prosperity, but also grief and jealousy. It's perfect for him! So we made references to the flower in the cover and first panels of the comic. I also headcanon that as a kid he called John Constantine's ghost "Johnny".

My influences for how this whole beginning meeting scene is staged and played out is E.M Carroll's When I Arrived At The Castle. The "animated" panels of Golden Mage looking back at John and breaking through the mirror is a direct call back to the keyhole sequence in that comic! The premise of daydreaming about how your life could have been and not realizing that you're staring at an alternate universe is loosely inspired by Junji Ito's Hellstar Remina. I really like the concept of staring into the unknown and then something sentient staring back from that. "What if our day dreams are just other realities we're dreaming of" kind of deal. I don't see that sort of thing in the saturation of multiverse stories these days.

Next reference is the Dead Boy's Heart! While I like that this story's its own thing, I was surprised it wasn't linked to John's dead brother in any way. It felt thematically relevant, so we brought it over as a device to trap Goldie while the brothers merge souls.

Twins can be positioned in a bunch of ways in the womb. I think canonically, John and Golden Mage were positioned like they are in the cover for Hellblazer #39, ideal for strangling I guess! We changed it to echo the motion of yin and yang. I do think the inclusion of yin and yang is a little cringey in the original comic even though I get what it's going for (balance and all that, it's just kind of simplistic to the philosophy). But I do like it as a way to echo card imagery we established in this comic. We combined the imagery of the tarot cards featured in the Golden Boy arc and King/Queen/Joker playing cards. So it felt right to bring back that whole upside down twins in the womb thing. Special fact, this is how my twin and I were vibing in the womb.

The scene where the twins hit Ctrl + E to merge layers! It's a pretty iconic pose! I like how their heads peaked out of the panels so I brought it back for our comic too. In our version, the twins fail to merge their souls entirely. In the revisit to the Golden Boy character in the comics in issue #249, it's revealed that the merging "failed" in some way, trapping the Golden Mage within John's soul.

For John's ghost counterpart from Golden Mage's universe we took Dave McKean's portrayal of him very literally haha. I know he doesn't literally have one eye, but we thought it gave him a really distinct look for us to stylize. We decided to keep the ghost kids consistent with no mouth and vacant pupil-less stares. We gave ghost kid!John a sort of bedsheet ghost form to contrast against Goldie.

Speaking of one eye! That's another motif we decided to emphasize throughout the comic. It's not in the source material at all, but we liked it as a way to both hint at chimerism and visualize how the two brothers serve as incomplete halves of each other. Special fact! Heterochromia can show up in chimera twins. Of course in the case of identical twins like the Constantines, their chimerism isn't as detectable since they have identical sets of DNA. But! It's still fun to stylize in a supernatural way. For our take we show the glowing golden eye as the soul of the Golden Boy manifesting in his brother. I like to think that John takes advantage of how undetectable his chimerism is to have an upper hand in any soul-related deals he makes.

This stylized heterochromia is inspired by @ratblazer 's Constantine design! I made a subtle nod to it with young punk John's make up echoing the scar in her design too.

For John's dynamic with Goldie the Golden Boy, we built the conflict of the story around making him doubt his attachment to his dead brother. There's a line of dialogue in the revisited Golden Boy arc about John needing to "let go", so we repurposed it into the Golden Mage assuring him that his attachments make him weak.

Even though the Golden Boy doesn't show up nearly as much as I think he should in canon, John has been shown to be really sentimental about him. John wants to be the Golden Boy's friend because he's so beautiful John mistook him for Jesus as a kid. Canonically, the Golden Boy ghost rejects John's friendship, likely still not over the whole strangulation in the womb thing. It still breaks John's heart though, he's a sobbing mess about being owned by a dead kid.

We changed this whole dynamic! The twin murder in the womb felt very X-men Xavier vs Cassandra Nova, and it's hard to get behind babies having that much motivation before they're even born. In our version, Goldie is a vanishing twin absorbed by John, the sickly twin. Infants being accidentally strangled by umbilical cords does occur in reality. However, we changed their origin to being that of Vanishing Twin syndrome because it was more specific for the ideas we were going for.

I feel this crucial change is more in tune with the overall themes of Hellblazer. John always cheats death at a cost. People are constantly sacrificed for John's continued survival. But the Golden Boy's case would be special, because he sacrificed himself out of love before he even knew what it means to love. Unlike the other ghosts that haunt John Constantine, Goldie isn't resentful of John. I think it makes more sense for the Golden Boy to be attached to John because he's all the Golden Boy's ever known. As a chimera twin, John is like a horcrux holding his brother's soul in his body. This reaffirms survivor's guilt to be something John experiences since his birth.

Canonically, although the Golden Mage initially feels sorry for the ghost of John that haunts him, he rejects John as well. John's ghost in canon is like a nuisance that keeps bothering Golden Mage. There's an instance mentioned of Golden Mage trying to recreate his murder in the womb? It's cryptically written. But Golden Mage does keep using the phrase "banished" to describe his brother.

We took this and made it so that he performed an exorcism on himself to remove his supernatural chimera-bond to John's ghost. The Golden Boy arc is pretty unique when compared with how saturated multiverse stories are nowadays since it doesn't share the science fiction sensibilities. Grief comes up a lot in multiverse stuff, in these stories characters use parallel universes to save a loved one as they're bargaining with their loss. For our take, we wanted a character to use the alternate universes to hurt and lash out at the loved one they're grieving. I pulled influence from Everything Everywhere All At Once's concept of a self destructive character on a search for the one familial connection who could understand what they're feeling.

References! The first panel is a nod to issue #36 where John is sleeping with Marj. We changed her to Kit. The second panel is a direct callback to issue #67, an iconic visual for his break up angst era.

Trivia; this page was added at the last minute! I needed something to bridge the birthday cupcake page and the final panel of Golden Mage's breakdown, so I linked them through candles! In this weird case, I reference my own work! This is a callback to Birthdays, a short comic we made for John Constantine's canonical birthday. It sets the premise for his relationship with Goldie based on the habits and experiences of survivor twins. The pages referencing this comic are meant to re-establish that John shares meals with his twin.

I wanted this page to feel like John's lighting an incense for his dead brother, and to contrast it with the snuffed out candles from Golden Mage's flashback. The candle has a yellow and blue intertwined spiral pattern that calls back to the color of John and Golden mage's dialogue boxes and speech bubbles, along with how twisted they look when they merged. Implying that in this universe, they're together in some way. I really wish I did this intentionally but it was by complete coincidence of making the cupcake pink and balancing it out with pastel primaries. But I sure can acknowledge how cool it looks symbolically okay???

The dialogue here is a nod to John's monologue in issue #19 where John is comforting Simon Hughes. It's re-contextualized a bit to be about sharing grief together in our comic.

This is a really goofy one but- since Golden Mage is supposed to be the fully realized potential of John, we thought that he would have a successful career as a musician and singer where John didn't. I don't think Golden Mage would be a punk singer though, he probably does something he'd consider more elevated.

BUT-! In the 30th Anniversary edition of Hellblazer, Sting (the guy John's appearance is based on) wrote an introduction for the edition while roleplaying as the Golden Boy. Which is nuts. The Anniversary edition basically canonized Sting as being a Constantine variant in our universe with the soul of Golden Boy. Sting, as Golden Boy, describes himself as a musician and singer too. Absolutely bonkers for Sting to throw me a bone this late in the game since no one's touched this character in ages.

Another E.M Carroll influenced panel sequence. This is from the digital comic Out of Skin.

So that brings us to the end of the comic! We've had the ideas for this comic cooking for some time, and it's people's continued interest in our takes on these characters that gave us the chance to finally bring the story together.

I'm very fascinated by the Golden Boy story, not because it's particularly strong compared to other stories in Hellblazer's run, but because its intriguing premise is bogged down by its surreal take on typical Evil Twin tropes. og Hellblazer's strength was always in its raw humanity. John Constantine's character countered the sensational spectacle of his superhero contemporaries. He may be able to outwit a vampire but he's can't fight back against being brutalized by the police. In one of his most iconic arcs, he finds out he has cancer- not because of any supernatural shenanigans, but because he literally smokes too much. In another arc, John's long time girlfriend breaks up with him, and he lashes out by saying the cruelest things to her. When he hears that his abusive dad is murdered, John still cries about it.

I think the Golden Boy arc and the retcon that followed his brief return actively undermines what makes Hellblazer special. Suddenly John's having X-Men-level evil twin escapades in the womb. Suddenly, merging with his twin will help save the universe. Suddenly, it's not smoking that caused John to have cancer! It was actually because he merged with his twin and his twin became the cancer from inside him! Suddenly it wasn't a moment of lashing out that caused John to say all those cruel things to his ex upon their break up, that was actually the Golden Boy controlling him from within, so you see it's not really his fault! Also what followed the break up was extra devastating because of the Golden Boy, somehow.

Often I hear in fandom that when you change a character too much from their canon counterpart it's basically "just an oc" at that point, but in the case of characters who get to be re-imagined and passed through many creative teams, I think that kind of mindset is deeply limiting for transformative work. The line I draw between "just an oc" and an interpretation is if the changes involved engage with their source material in any way or if they're just superficial. Big changes and 180 flips can work because they still respond to the history of said character. It's why we see that kind of thing in canon a lot. These characters are inherently built to be passed through many hands in meaningful ways to varying degrees of success. So I hope that by showing all this process that goes behind big changes to a canon character, people better understand what can go into transformative creativity.

Our thesis for this re-imagining is to take what makes Hellblazer special and re-examine the arc that we felt undermined that. Despite the grief John has for many characters in his cast, mourning isn't brought up at all in the Golden Boy arc. It's dismissed by the characters in narration, and the Golden Mage himself isn't even recognized as a sibling by the narrative, no matter how many times John calls him "bro".

Survivor twin grief over dead womb twins especially is a real thing that's often dismissed because in the words of canon Golden Mage himself "I couldn't mourn for those I'd never known". This is not true to the experience of twins. They play with and remember each other from spending 9 months growing in a tight space together. So when one of them doesn't make it out with the other, that survivor feels a grief they can't comprehend. It can manifest in unresolved trauma, commitment issues, and survivor's guilt. All things that feel so relevant to the themes of John Constantine's character. I think that by integrating the real lived experiences of survivor twins, the Golden Boy arc could've been one the most human and personal parts of the original Hellblazer run. It's could've been a story that helped a community of people so rarely validated in their grief feel seen.

[erros429]

there’s something so crazy about the way they’ve been building up ruby and blake parallels from the very start of their friendship. one of their first interactions arises because they’re both fans of books and fairytales, but they have wildly different perspectives of them. blake, who thinks that happily ever afters are naive, meets ruby, who thinks happily ever afters are the goal to strive for.

after this, though, we don’t get a lot of moments between them. however, the little moments we do get are packed with loads of meaning. whenever they’re in a difficult situation, blake looks to ruby to have a plan. she both supports ruby and looks to her for support (something that she didn’t have a lot of experience with with the last leader [cough, adam, cough] she followed).

“we’ll follow your lead, ruby.”

the biggest interactions that we see between them by far, however, is in volume 8. blake reflects about who she was before adam, and how she’d also been positive and hopeful like ruby (who now looks back on her own optimism with disgust). she even goes so far as to say that she’s admired that someone can hold onto that trait as long and as hard as ruby has.

“i know you don’t always know what to do, but that’s never stopped you from doing something. i was like that as a girl, but time — and a lot of other things — took their toll on me. then i wasn’t sure if that kind of girl could survive in the world. until i met you… i’ve always looked up to you ruby, and i still do.”

and now we've reached volume 9, where ruby's influence on blake has helped her find her old true self once again. at this point, it's established that blake and ruby are following the same sort of character arc, both determined to make the world a better place but both continuously beaten down and defeated until they no longer believes in themself. and now that blake managed to pull herself from the trenches of self-loathing, we'll be following ruby's own journey of doing so as well.

but that's why ruby's "shut up, don't do that." line to blake hits so fucking hard. because she hates facing the same thing that she'd said once upon a time. she hates facing her own naivety and her own attempts to salvage a situation.

she hates facing herself.

[mysterialistic]

Over-analyzing the Yingdu Chapter [PART 2]

I'll leve the link to PART 1 here.

Now, going back to the analysis... Who sent this postcard and "clue" to Cheng Xiaoshi? My best guess is that it was Liu Xiao. He got information about Cheng Weimin and sent a clue to lure CXS and LG to Yingdu.

You can't convince me this isn't the face of someone who knows what they're doing lol. Liu Xiao was expecting CXS and LG and he achieved his objective. Besides, why else would he react to their presence if he didn't knew them?

But now this raises another question: Lu Guang knows or doesn't know Liu Xiao and Vein?

I think that Lu Guang knows neither of them. He doesn't react to Liu Xiao's presence when he walks past them at the airport. And Vein... I think he's working with Liu Xiao. My crazy theory is that Vein has the power to invade other people's dreams or minds, so he invaded Lu Guang's and sent him a message through the photographs with the same image of the building and, of course, the clock with "Bridon" written on it.

This would explain why the synopsis mentions that Lu Guang, "with a nervous heart", heads to Yingdu with CXS. LG knows that something awaits him there, a "punishment" that could be potentially dangerous for him and, most importantly, CXS.

And... what's the deal with the "hot-headed" trio?

My main theory is that they're all working together because they want a taste of Cheng Xiaoshi's power, or at least Vein and Xia Fei do, the ability to fix a mistake from the past, to change the course of things. Liu Xiao is the one that confuses me the most, he's... A bit more complicated.

I actually have a couple of speculations about each of them. Let's start with the one we have the most information of:

Liu Xiao: this guy, according to what he said at the end of season 2, wants to "bring more parallel lines together and turn all uncertainties into certainties".

One of my theories is that his power is some sort of omnipotence, he can see everything, including different outcomes, aka, "parallel lines". Something that caught my attention a while back was this official illustration where he's holding a staff with an eye. It's kinda farfetched, but I think it might be a clue to his "see it all, know it all, control it all" power.

We don't know what his ultimate goal is, but we do know he's willing to go to big extremes in order to get what he wants (he has killed indirectly and probably directly too). He's manipulative; for example, I'm pretty sure he's been using LTC ever since they met when they were kids, knowing that he would get powers and lose everything. And how does that benefit Liu Xiao? Well, now he has another powerful ally.

But what stands in the way of his plans?

Cheng Xiaoshi's power. A power that allows him to alter the past and create more parallel lines, something that must NEVER be tempered with. I've always thought that his ability is the most dangerous/powerful of the bunch, so it makes sense that they're hunting him down.

Vein: this character is described as "the eccentric head of Chinatown". Ok, hear me out, this is gonna be a big cliché, but I bet he has something to do with this "mafia" thing on the newspaper.

Now, what about him tormenting Lu Guang? Like I've mentioned before, I think he might have a power as well (manipulating people's dreams/mind?) An extra reason for Liu Xiao to work with him.

Xia Fei: this is the character we know the least about. We only know that he's a model and "seemingly friendly". Aka, he's probably a highly deceiving/manipulative guy.

My guess is that he's going to befriend Cheng Xiaoshi, specifically him cause I think he's more "naive" (maybe we'll see jealous LG lol) and because CXS was the one who noticed him at the airport; he'll probably recognize him when they meet. Xia Fei is going to become close to him just to use him at the end, typical bad guy stuff.

Now, this is a crazy theory of mine: In the newspaper there's this photo of a girl, and like someone once pointed out, she kinda looks like Xia Fei, so I was thinking maybe they're related)?

I don't think they would put a random chick in there just for decoration. Also, there's probably clues of each member of the trio in here.

Ok, so we have the general analysis and the antagonists, what now? Well, now is time to speculate about the plot itself!

PART 3

[trailedstar]

HYPOTHERMIC KISSES

﹙ DOTTORE x MALE READER﹚ themes of betrayal, biblically accurate dottore, angst without comfort. 866 wc

꒰ Parallel lines never intersect, going on forever without meeting once. Perpendicular lines meet once and then drift apart.

Snezhnaya weather was notorious for its harsh winters, and today was no exception. The snowflakes danced in the air, twirling and spinning as they fell gracefully from the heavens above. The temperature had already dipped well below freezing, turning everything into a crystal-clear sculpture of white. Despite the beauty that surrounded you, you felt an icy chill run down your spine.

The bench you sat on was uncomfortably cold, even through your thick winter coat. You hugged yourself for warmth, watching as your breath formed little puffs of white smoke in the air. The snowflakes that landed on your eyelashes felt like tiny icicles piercing your skin.

"Zandik…" you murmured under your breath, your voice barely audible against the howling wind. It had been years since you had last seen him, promising to meet here, on this very bench, after you both graduated from the Akademiya. You had sworn to each other that no matter what, you would find your way back to this spot and continue your journey together. But life had other plans. Desires were humanity’s great Achilles heel, and it seemed Zandik's had led him astray. He found himself on the side of darkness, drawn in by promises of power and knowledge of the Gods.

You could still faintly remember the day you two had made that vow, years ago. You were sheltered in the library, surrounded by books of knowledge, the faint scent of leather and ink filling your nostrils.

"Zandik, you should stop venturing off and trying to research those Withering zones…" You say, a note of worry in your voice. "They're dangerous, even for someone as powerful as you. I'm not sure why you're so obsessed with those places, but you need to be careful."

Your words hang in the air solemnly as you watch Zandik intently, wondering how much he's changed. He used to be your closest friend, someone you could trust with your life. But then he became obsessed with knowledge, and it seemed like he became someone else entirely. It's as if the power that came with his studies warped his mind, and made him see things in a different light.

"I overheard the scholars, Zandik, they grow annoyed with your behavior.."

His eyes narrowed. "What do they matter? They've always been jealous of my progress. They can't handle the truth, the power that comes with it."

The sheer amount of arrogance in his tone was enough to catch you off guard momentarily.

"Okay, look, after we both graduate, we'll have all the time in the world to explore whatever you want," you say, trying to sound reassuring. "But right now, you need to focus on finishing your studies and becoming the scholar everyone knows you are. The Withering zones can wait." Leaning down, your heavenly lips brushed against his cheeks over the now bandaged wound. "Please, for me."

You feel his hands snake around your waist, pulling you closer. His grip is strong, but not unyielding, and for a moment, you feel as if nothing has changed between you. It's like you're back in the days when you were both closer, exploring the world together, laughing and joking about the stuffy scholars and their outdated beliefs. You close your eyes, basking in the warmth of his touch, the familiar scent of his skin.

"Promise me, Zandik," you whisper, your lips brushing against his ear. "Promise me you'll be careful and we can explore after we graduate."

His hands tighten around you, but there's a softness to his touch now, a reluctant surrender. "I promise," he whispers back, his voice hoarse with emotion. "For you, I'll wait. But know this, my dear friend... When we finally do explore those Withering zones together, it will be you and I against the world. No one else."

However, that day never came, and Zandik was banished from the Academiya shortly after. But you were firmly set on keeping the promise you two swore.

Those memories were but a lingering moment, a reminder of the people you once were. No one could stay the same. Change was inevitable.

Your eyelids were heavy, drooping down to hide your irises. Your lips were peeling from the cold, quivering with your chattering teeth.

Ah… A moment of realization struck you. You were dying, weren’t you?

Lost within the desolate wintery world, your body was freezing itself to death. The tips of your fingers were changing colors, completely unable to feel your limbs.

Footsteps crunched in the snow, your gaze too hazed to process the appearance of the figure. You faintly picked up on the ornate design of the shoes, a weary chuckle leaving you. How you truly wished to go back, to not waste your time with Zandik. Only now did everything settle in. He truly changed. The sweet Zandik was no more.

“A speck of dust on one's coat, truly. How stupidly naive.” And with that, the person turned away, not even another glance at your cold body on the bench. Perhaps you’d serve a good purpose to a desperate, wandering soul.

[bettyfrommars]

Stop the World and Melt with You

Part 6: Meet Me in Hawkinsgate

Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Summary: A lot will be explained in this part, but there will also be more questions left to ponder. We get a glimpse of reader from the past, another Traveler shows up in Hawkinsgate, and secrets are revealed through a comic we borrow from Dustin. wc: 4.3k

Masterlist

A/N: I've been staring at this for way too long and I just need to post it🙃 This part is bitesize because I feel like there is a lot to take in. If it goes the way I've planned it, we'll have two more chapters after this, and you won't have to wait as long as you did for this one 🧡

18+ONLY, MDNI, this is a mindbender, fear of the unknown, mention of zombies, interdimensional travel, circus freak show, no smut in this chapter but I have a spicy blurb on its way to do with the version of Eddie and Reader introduced in this part.

“Cold-hearted orb that rules the night

removes the colors from our sight

Red is gray, and yellow---white

but we decide which is right

and which is an illusion.”

- Twilight Lament, The Moody Blues

---Somewhere Else---

The Crossroads is a place for various interdimensional Travelers to wait while on the way to their next location or assignment. A place to get their “passport stamps” and figure out which portal they’d need to take to get to where they needed to be. The atmosphere made it feel as if you were conducting business on one of Saturn’s rings; nothing but stars and infinite universe around you. There's a row of doors arranged in an arc, all of which seem to be floating in the air, all with numbers above them. You're waiting to take number 4.

The version of you from another dimension took a turn around, hoping to spot a place to drink at one of the vendors inside the floating establishment. This version of you has a few more visible tattoos scattered from head to foot: each a passport from a parallel universe or pocket of time you have traveled to. It was your job, like all of the other Muses, to bring back inspiration for the Storytellers. There's music playing over the speaker system as you waited; it was an instrumental version of Melt with You by Modern English. The song is interrupted by the tin of an electronic female voice announcing the departure at gate 9.

You’d been staring up at the monitors, checking the time for your portal, but you stepped back in haste, and there he was: the boy you would soon know as Eddie Munson.

You didn’t recognize him but also, you did---in a way you couldn’t explain. The sight of his face knocked over a tiny domino in your soul and the rest went tumbling.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he gave a crooked smile, putting his hands up, palms out. This version of him has strange tattoos as well; a few designs at his temples, lines above one brow, a series of numbers and letters on his throat. He wears a black leather jacket over a shirt that reads: Hellfire Club. “I should watch where I’m going.”

“No, no, it’s my fault,” you stammered. “I’m running late so I was worried---”

“Worried that you’d miss me?” He interjected.

The forwardness of it caught you off guard and you stifle a laugh, tucking your chin. “Something like that.”

You turn back to face the monitors, thinking he’d head off the way he was going—but he didn’t. He stayed close and waited as a group of human and non-human beings passed between the two of you.

“So,” he stepped up closer as the crowd passed, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Of all the Crossroads in all the universes, you walk into mine.”

You turned and gave him a curious look, not understanding what he just said or why he was saying it to you. Your eyes flicked from his tender chocolate orbs, down to his soft lips and back again.

He leaned back, noting your confusion, and tilted his head. “Humphrey Bogart? Casablanca? Of all the gin joints in all the---” he could tell it wasn’t ringing a bell. “Wait, you’ve never watched Casablanca?”

You gave a few tight shakes of your head, a scowl creasing the skin between your eyebrows.

“Oh, sweetheart, we need to fix that,” he patted around in all of his pockets. “Do you have a pen?”

You weren’t sure where this was going, but you were fascinated by him. Muses weren’t allowed to take any form of physical identification with them through the portals—-hence the inked passport stamps that were usually invisible to most non-travelers---and the only things you had on you were gum and lip gloss.

He checked the inside pocket of his jacket and made a sound of triumph. He procured a black, felt tip marker and popped the cap off. “Mind giving me your number? For educational purposes. We can watch Casablanca, and maybe get some decent food back on the mainland. What do you think? Could you stare at this mug while you eat?”

You were reaching for the pen as he talked, and he offered his palm to you. In a line from his pinky to his thumb, you wrote your name and phone number without another word, and then capped the pen and handed it back to him. Eddie watched you; the curves of your face, the way your eyelashes fluttered, the way the tip of your tongue rested on your top lip as you concentrated. He wanted to commit you to memory.

He turned his hand to look at what you wrote, and then met your eyes over his fingers. “Have we met before? You seem so familiar to me.”

He had chunky, silver rings on his fingers, and the air surrounding you felt electric, you could almost taste the tang of the static on your tongue.

“Oh, I think I’d remember you,” you smirked, trying to mask the depth of your attraction to him.

But then a loud chime sounded and the electronic female voice sounded over the platform, letting everyone know that the portal for Gate 4 was opening.

“That’s me,” you swallowed, flushed. “Maybe I’ll see you around,” you quipped, a sudden pain shooting through your chest at the thought of never seeing him again.

Eddie felt flustered, he didn’t want you to go. “Hey, I’ll call you,” he promised, showing his palm. You gave him one last look over your shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. When you stepped over the thresh hold to your portal, you realized you didn’t even know his name.

And you really hoped he could call.

----------

You became aware of your surroundings before you were fully awake enough to open your eyes, trying to hold on to the image of the boy in your dreams as hard as you could---but then he was gone. As intense and real as the “dream” had been, it was now a pin prick of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, and you tried to squint but then it was gone as soon as your consciousness came to the surface.

It felt so real, though. So real that you tossed in bed with tears wet in your eyes, trying to get it back, screaming into your pillow. The pillowcase that smelled strongly of bleach and a hint of age old body odor embedded deep in the pillow itself.

The dark of night lasted for the next 24 hours in Hawkinsgate, as if it were a movie set and someone forgot to turn the lights on. It was noon, and you were sitting behind the motel reception desk, staring out into the street lights of the dark town. Claudia bustled in with one of her cats in a pink carrier after taking it to the vet. There was a young boy with her who offered you a gappy grin with missing front teeth. He had a trucker hat that sat squished on his head of curls.

You’d been doodling on the inside of the phone book, about to go and put a load of sheets in the dryer, when the boy with Claudia marched right up to you. He was a teenager, but you weren’t sure of the age.

His eyes blew wide. “Is it true you’re one of the Travelers?”

“Dustin,” Claudia called to him as she came around the desk, marching toward the back room.

Nailing you with an enigmatic grin, he pulled a rolled up comic out from under his arm and slapped it on the table. His hands working to smooth out the pages before he pointed to a face on the cover.

“Isn't that you?”

Your eyes hesitated on him before following to where his finger pointed.

The likeness caught you by surprised and made you step back, but you never took your eyes off of it. You held it up, attention flicking over the details in the artwork. It wasn’t you, exactly, but, indeed a version of you: legs wide, arms crossed, exposed skin dotted in tattoos, way more than the few you had now, standing in what appeared to be a desert wasteland with two moons in the sky.

“Where did you get this?” You asked, wondering if someone was playing a trick on you. “Did Eddie put you up to this?”

“Eddie?” Dustin’s generous smile widened, cocking his head. “How do you know Eddie?”

You only handed the comic back when Dustin reached for it. “I’d let you keep it,” he shrugged. “But it’s the newest issue and I haven’t read it yet.”

“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head. “I understand. Could you maybe, tell me what happens in it?”

You could tell that the kid was emotionally mature for his age and he quickly caught on to the source of your distress and took his tone down to more of a calm reassurance. “I’ll just leave it on the desk for you when I’m done, okay?”

A part of you wondered if reading such a thing was a good idea with the fragile state of your blank brain. Dustin came around the back, following after Claudia before she shouted his name again.

“Hey,” you turned to face him now that he was behind the front counter. “Who writes that comic? Do you know?”

“Oh, no one knows,” his face was serious, and then he turned to keep walking.

“Of course no one knows,” you said under your breath. “But, where do you buy them? There must be a way to trace it back to the creator?”

He adjusted the strap of his backpack. “I’m sure there’s a way,” he looked down, thoughtfully. “These issues just show up like everything else around here, but I can ask a few people.”

You told him how much you would appreciate that, and he repeated his disbelief that you also knew his friend Eddie.

---------

That day, another Traveler wandered into the motel; the first one since your arrival. You caught sight of the bright pink hair immediately, followed by the black ink markings from her nose to her throat, and on her hands as well. You scrambled to your feet, eager to make her acquaintance. She was hesitant, her eyes shifting to take everything in, just as you had that first day when you arrived.

The second she saw you, her eyes blew wide, and her mouth dropped open.

She knew your name. “What are you doing here?” She asked, spinning in a circle. “Where are we? Where is Lorelei?”

Your heart started racing and your mouth dried up. “Where do you know me from? How do you have your memories?” You were coming around the desk, racing towards her now. “Who is Lorelei?”

She had on a ripped, threadbare, white tee with no bra and worn jeans. She pulled a knife from the hilt at her hip and held it up. “You’re not safe here anymore,” she warned, eyes darting around as if she expected a monster to come flying out of the walls.

“Not safe from what?” You begged.

The confused look on your face turned to a horrified one when an invisible door slid open behind the pink-haired girl, exposing an infinite blackness, and she turned, jumping threw it as if she knew exactly where it led to.

“No, wait---” you screamed, stretching your arm out as if you could catch her, but then the invisible door slid shut again and there was nothing but air there. You waved your hands frantically around over the space.

--------

Eddie came to meet you on the roof of the motel that night, because you asked him to, because you needed a friend. The roof was angled, but not drastically, with a perfect sitting ledge. You each had pillows behind your heads, laying side by side, knees bent, staring up at the sky.

You were feeling more and more at home in Eddie’s presence; eager when you knew you would get to see him, and fearful when you had to part ways. Even so, you didn’t want to care for him, and tried to push away the feelings at all costs. You could sense him holding back as well; reaching out to take your hand, only to pull away, and swallowing words that hovered on parted lips, left unspoken.

You told Eddie about the pink-haired traveler and he chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully.

“She knew my name,” you mumbled, replaying the short interaction over in your head for the hundredth time that day.

“I’ve seen Travelers come and go that fast,” he said. “One second they’re in front of you, and then they’re gone the next---poof.” Eddie decided not to say out loud what scared him the most, and that was the fact that, once you remembered who you were, you would disappear in the same way. He wondered how quick he’d have to be to dive into the void to go with you. “Maybe she came to give you a message?”

You hadn’t shared with him her message yet, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to. But then you felt the side of Eddie’s hand slide up against yours and you realized you didn’t want to have any secrets from him.

You swallowed back a tickle of emotion in your throat. “She said I’m not safe here anymore.”

In a heartbeat, Eddie took your hand, intertwined his fingers, and pulled it to his side, tucking your arm close. “Hey, that’s not true. You’re safe here with me.”

It was the first time you’d ever held hands, and you could tell he’d been working up the nerve for days. You were grateful for the touch and it made the sides of your mouth dance up, even under the weight of such disturbing circumstances.

Elbows planted, you looked over at your two hands locked together and the dark blue sky full of scattered stars beyond. “I do feel safe with you,” you told him. Even though whatever was happening to you felt much bigger than either one of you could fathom in that moment, and it wasn’t fair to put such a big job on Eddie, you were comforted by the thought.

You scooted closer to him, and placed your head on his shoulder. Eddie brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Why do the stars and the sky look so real?” You asked in a whisper, watching the way the stars flickered, and clouds hovered around the moon.

Eddie turned his head to find your profile. “You still think this is a dream?”

It didn’t feel like a dream, but maybe we all traveled in our dreams to very real places and then forgot it all once we opened our eyes. You hesitated, not sure how to answer him, working your jaw. The air was wet and cool, bright with the smell of rain on concrete and forest pine.

“Sometimes I worry that I’m going to wake up any second and forget this place,” you failed to catch the tremor in your voice. “That I’ll forget you.”

An unexpected tear ran down your cheek, and Eddie felt the wet drop hit the side of his neck.

“Hey,” he said, squeezing your hand, pulling it across his stomach. “Can I tell you what I think?”

“Please?” You urged.

He wanted to tell you about the dream he had about a group of circus people that came through a place called Hawkins, Indiana to set up a show on the outskirts of town. In the dream, Hawkins was his hometown, the place where he had grown up, and it was similar to Hawkinsgate, but also nothing like it. The dream felt so real, he could still smell the popcorn and hear the cackle of the Bearded Lady on stage, beckoning to any passerby. The circus rolled into town on old caravans and rusted cars compiled of junkyard metal. There was a Ferris wheel and various freak shows and a fire-breather and a strong man and a fortune teller. Eddie went with his buddies Gareth, and Jeff, because they wanted to see the clowns on stilts, and maybe get a glimpse of the peep show.

They peeked inside a hole in the red and white tent when they heard the sultry music, just in time to catch sight of a voluptuous blonde woman spinning tassels on her huge breasts before they were shooed away by one of the barkers. He had a fully tattooed face and a metal bar pierced through his tongue.

“Yo, sorry man,” Eddie and the boys held their hands up in a form of surrender, unable to contain their laughter, and the barker spat on the ground at their feet, sneering to show his silver teeth.

Eddie went in to see the psychic in the purple caravan on a dare. The boys teased him and said he wouldn’t, and so Eddie said, “hold my jacket” and made his way inside, through the beaded curtain in the doorway, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the older woman sitting at a round table in front of a crystal ball.

“It’s you,” the older woman said, looking up at him only briefly. She had long gray hair, and her eyes were mismatched: one was bright blue and the other was milky white with no iris or pupil. “I was starting to think you’d never show up.”

“Do I know you?” Eddie looked around the space cautiously, making sure the two were alone. The air was smoky and smelled like the floral dank of incense.

“Please, Eddie, sit,” the woman said in a young voice that did not match her elderly exterior.

Eddie stepped back. “Wait, how do you know my---”

“There’s no time for that,” she interrupted him, shuffling a deck of tarot cards in her hands. Her eyes repeated the gesture of motioning for him to sit. “There’s a lot you need to know and we only have a few minutes.”

Stiffly, Eddie took a seat in the squeaky wooden chair across from her, hoping that the boys were right outside and not back at the peep show without him. She made a clean stack with the deck of cards and set it to one side.

“So,” Eddie’s eyes flicked around after a full minute of silence. “How do we do this?”

The next thing he knew, Eddie was headed outside again, squinting, his head blurry and his eyes dry.

Gareth and Jeff had been giggling over a joke when Eddie stepped out of the caravan and stumbled, his eyes glossy. They got serious immediately and went to help him stand as his knees buckled.

“Damn, what did she do to you?” Gareth frowned, watching Eddie take long blinks and shake his head as if trying to wake up. Jeff looked around nervously, wondering if he should find help. Gareth tried to see in through the beaded curtain, but it seemed like the old woman was gone and the caravan appeared empty.

When Eddie stepped out, he felt like everything was the same, but also very different. He was still in Hawkins, but there was something...off about it. The boys asked him over and over what the old woman told him, but he couldn’t remember, he just knew he felt woozy. His stomach growled and he figured it was because he was hungry.

The next morning, after the dream---the visions of you started. The dreams, the whispers, the way he knew every inch of your body, every mole, every tattoo, even though he’d never seen you naked before; not in this reality, anyway. He stepped over a torn front page of the Hawkinsgate Gazette in the grass in his dream, and he stopped to pick it up, wondering why the name Hawkingate looked so familiar, but also so wrong.

There on the roof of the motel, Eddie wanted to tell you that he’d been thinking and dreaming about you ever since.

After that, the other Travelers started showing up in Hawkinsgate. Just like you, they were plopped there without much of a memory of where they came from, and seeing them around became normal as well. The entire town seemed to be designed around them in fact, as if Hawkinsgate was an airport from which people took off to their various destinations.

Every time he heard about a new Traveler in town, he went looking, hoping to find you. He was about a week away from losing hope when you showed up at the gas station that day in tears.

The one he had been waiting for and pining over this whole time.

Eddie wanted to tell you all of that on the roof of the motel when you started to cry.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Eddie asked and you begged him to tell you something, anything that was remotely comforting.

He slid his fingers up and down between yours before intertwining them again. “I’m not sure why or how I know this, but no matter where you go, you’ll always have me. If this is a dream and you wake up, I’ll be waking up with you.”

---------

You finally got your hands on the comic book with your likeness on the cover and hurried back to your motel room on your lunch break so you could lock the door and dissect it in peace.

The woman who looked like you in the drawings was apparently a Muse who worked for a group of people called The Storytellers. You had a gift for collecting inspiration and experiences in other dimensions and worlds and passing them on. The amount of knowledge your character had acquired through her journey was vast. She knew how to speak several languages, she knew karate, knife throwing, chess. She knew how to cook French dishes you didn’t even know how to pronounce. There was another Muse in the comic named E who looked remarkably like your Eddie. Long hair pulled back, a loose strand hanging down his cheekbone.

In the comic, your character and E had traveled through many dimensions together, and you were on the run from a group of lizard people called The Kreel. They were reptilian in nature with a human appearance, but for their lizard eyes that flicked out of their human lenses every so often. They did not emote and they did not experience compassion, and they were waging a war with the Storytellers, so that the Kreel could control all creative consumption. The Kreels wanted all of the powers of the creators for their purposes alone; to create worlds that would benefit them only.

Your character and E had jumped from dimension to dimension, from world to world, gathering inspiration for the Storytellers, while simultaneously evading The Kreel.

The final page of the comic book left you with a cliffhanger: in modern day, in a quiet dessert town off the grid in New Mexico, The Kreel found the location where you were your character resided, and were closing in. You were supposed to meet E that night, when he was back from his recent trip, but there was no time to get a note to him. The next best thing you could do was go through the portal to Hawkinsgate and wait for him there.

Hawkinsgate was the safe haven; a place undetectable to Kreels. It was created by a group of Storytellers when the war began.

You typed the location of the portal into the gps on your phone.

With a tight blink of concentration, you imagined a hoard of zombies into existence to block the The Kreel from you in their masses, while you made your escape.

You watched the home you loved disappear in a cloud of dust in your rear view mirror, as a van full of lizard Kreel soldiers went to battle with the flesh eating zombies in their haste to get to you.

The character that looked like you in the comic book wailed and sobbed, driving away as fast as they could, fearing they’d never see E again.

You frowned at the page as you finished reading, your lungs starving for air after holding your breath for so long.

At the very end, your character reminded herself in thought bubbles that she’d lose her memory once she breached the Hawkinsgate portal. The Kreel could pinpoint brainwaves when a creative’s thoughts were particularly active, so everything had to be wiped clean for their safety. The girl in the story cried again, thinking about how she wouldn’t remember E, and how she hoped he’d show up there too, just like they had planned.

But, they wouldn’t know each other.

“Meet me in Hawkinsgate,” alone in your motel room you felt the warm breath against your ear, heard the words as clear as day. It was Eddie’s voice, and it sounded like he was right there next to you. “Meet me in Hawkinsgate….”

You jumped up off the bed and threw the magazine, making it land against the wall with a smack before it fluttered to the floor, landing face down. You were panting, trying to find your breath, a whimper escaping the back of your throat. You could feel the emotions building hot behind your eyes.

And then, you screamed.

[eriexplosion]

Bad Batch Season 3 Episode Title Predictions

Okay, so I've poked at the trailer enough that I think I can do a series of predictions that is likely to topple like a house of cards immediately but hey what else is this month of waiting for? Here is my very rough outline of what I'd love to see in season 3 based on nothing but the trailer and Vibes.

Episodes 1-3, "Confined" "Paths Unknown" & "Shadows of Tantiss"

These three seem pretty obvious, we'll likely catch up with Omega and Crosshair first in Confined, which is likely where we'll see these clips from the trailer:

As well as probably the (SAD AS HELL) discussion between Omega and Crosshair shown in the Celebrations trailer. Mix their scenes in with catching up on Hunter, Wrecker, & Echo - I'm actually really attached to the idea that Echo is searching for Tech, having not given up on him. This also parallels to Omega talking to Crosshair, about not giving up - I think that's going to be a theme this season. Can't run away, can't give up. But if Echo is searching for Tech then it might just be Hunter and Wrecker right now, likely giving us a few of their action shots together.

I do think that Omega and Crosshair's escape attempt is going to be relatively early in the season - either at the end of Paths Unknown or the very beginning of Shadows of Tantiss. I went into it more in this post and paired up a few shots of Tantiss' defense systems as well as the crashed ship with Omega and Crosshair. From the look of it, they likely don't make it off planet due to the damage and crash land and have to try to escape and, in the process, are split up and lose each other. Possibly they are able to contact the batch, who are on the way to try and get them when things go wrong.

My guess is that by the end of this three parter we'll have Crosshair reunited with the batch, or about to be, Omega on her own trying to evade Hemlock and his men, and somewhere along the line our reveal that Tech is alive because at this point I can't see them not aiming at a comeback with how hard they're trying to keep his 'death' on all our minds.

Episode 4 - "A Different Approach"

If Crosshair didn't meet up with the batch by the end of the previous three, then probably he does it here, I just get the sense that he's been gone for so long that we need to get him zipped up with the others early in the season, especially since we'll have several reunions to get to by the end of the series.

With Omega still separated but hopefully out of Tantiss at this point, they have to adjust how they plan to find her. She's now a moving target, because she's on the run still and likely unable to contact them. Echo will meet back up with them here, I think, maybe with info on wherever Tech is (my prediction: still on Eriadu in some fashion, either held with the good old pirates & smugglers or possibly by Tarkin himself, but I'm hoping the pirates & smugglers) and Rex will likely come too. I do think that they have their exchange about losing brothers here but rather than being about Tech, as the trailer implied, it's about Nemec or Fireball (or both) who possibly died getting the information. I just feel like those two are not long for this world, unfortunately.

We'll also follow Omega here, now completely alone for the first time. Previously she always had the batch, then she at the very least had Crosshair. Now she has neither and she has to try and figure out what to do. The title does dual work here, both the batch and Omega have to find a different approach in order to try and reunite.

Episode 5 - "The Return"

I feel like this is going to be a mostly Omega centered episode. Where is she returning to is the question, I still think that this refers to a place rather than a person returning. Pet theory - Cid put out several bounties on her to try and get her tracked down and rescued and she gets a blast from the past when she's grabbed by Bane a second time and taken to Ord Mantell. She of course is Not trusting Grandma Crimes anymore, but Cid is trying to redeem herself and fix what she broke.

While this is going on, the parallel return is the batch getting to Eriadu in order to set up the two parter.

Episode 6 & 7 - "Infiltration" & "Extraction

With the batch set up, they're ready to go get Tech from wherever he's been stuck! These two are likely more action oriented, with a little bit of Difficulty between Crosshair and the others after so long apart, but they find their footing well enough and begin to work together in order to get Tech out. They're 5/6ths of the way to a full family, they just have one more to get a hold of!

Episode 8 - "Bad Territory"

Getting fully into Pet Theories here but I think that this shot from the trailer

is Batuu - going mostly from the distinctive looking spires here. Another possible Omega focused episode, Cid is taking her to Batuu to cash in a favor. Not one owed to her - one owed to Omega, by Roland Durand. (LISTEN HERE'S HOW INFESTED BEING RELEVANT CAN STILL WIN-)

Anyway the focus here is on Roland trying to link her up with the batch. This might be a good place for Fennec to make her reappearance too, working from the Batch's end.

Episode 9 - "The Harbinger"

I'll be real I have no idea, my ideas started getting thin right about here, but I will say the title sounds like a great place for Ventress and the Teth monastery to make their appearance (I'm assuming they'll be together) but how they would actually play into the plot if they appeared here is unclear. I do think that we'll finally get everyone together though or at least be on our way to it, in order to bring us to our next two parter.

Episode 10 & 11 - "Identity Crisis" & "Point of No Return

The team is back together and all is not well, because everyone is still suffering a severe case of the Issues. No one can agree on what to do, where to go, with the identity crisis being the batch unsure of how to move forward together. Omega of course gets immediately stressed out by it all because it seems like she finally got her family back together only for it to immediately start falling apart. Wrecker is probably right there with her. Tech & Phee have their moment together, Echo still thinks they need to fight and I think that Crosshair is going to tend towards that too. Hunter at least absolutely wants to retire to Pabu right now immediately, but as the show has been trying to demonstrate, avoiding things won't be an option because-

Point of No Return is the dreaded invasion of Pabu. The Empire followed them here in order to retrieve Omega, and they barely escape, evacuating as many of Pabu's residents as possible. Shep doesn't make it out and is imprisoned.

Episode 12 - "Juggernaut"

This is where like a full quarter of the trailer comes from because they can show us several exterior tank shots without showing who's in the damn tank. I think the point of this one will be to get Shep back, since it does look like him that Wrecker is carrying. We know that Crosshair, Hunter, and Wrecker at a minimum will go in, but I think likely Omega and Echo are there (likely together thus being why we don't see much of Echo in the trailer) and Tech might be with Phee.

Episodes 13-15 - "Into the Breach" "Flash Strike" "The Calvary Has Arrived"

Grouping these three together because I have no idea what happens here except that we're likely going to be mounting an attack to take down Hemlock and, hopefully, free all of the clones that he's been experimenting on. The time for hiding is over, they have to take a stand against the Empire. Not because they're soldiers, but because they're a family, and the other clones are still their brothers.

For the first time, we don't leave our own behind can get followed and they're going in.

The Calvary Has Arrived is not a title I can see going dark to be quite honest, it's more of a full circle moment, it's the Batch becoming who they're meant to be, a family that fights for each other and for the other clones, I will cling to the idea of a happy ending (hopefully one that sets up a continuation that might focus more on Rex and his clone rebellion) until it's ripped from my cold dead hands thank you very much. I think that after the family has spent two seasons absolutely torn apart, becoming increasingly fractured, the best ending is one that has them finally united, all six of them, for the first time.

Like Omega said. They're more than soldiers. They're a family.

[lavellenchanted]

okay I have a bit of a theory that was inspired by your Yuna Aerith parallel gifset, while I immediately thought of Yuna during that scene as well, I didn't really think about it beyond it being a reference until seeing your gifset again just now. A lot of people think there are parallels between ff7/ffx already and that maybe the games are connected in some loose way. And thinking about Yuna's story... how the game revolves around her intending to make this big sacrifice in order to save everyone until we find another way and are able to put an end to things for good without her needing to die (a better ending than her sacrificing herself and restarting the cycle). Not to mention other parallels between her and Aerith in general. And a lot of people are unsure if the ending of og FF7 is actually a "good" ending. And I am now wondering if Aerith's lifestream dance scene was more than just a fun reference and it was actually more of an intentional nod to her and Yuna's similar stories and maybe a hint to the fact that she doesn't need to die for us to win in the end (ofc Aerith already meeting her fate in rebirth has happened, but with the other worlds etc we know things can potentially be altered somehow in game 3 and that we may have saved a version of Aerith already). Perhaps this time we can get an even better outcome. Defying fate/destiny is very relevant to Yuna's story and is a heavy theme in this re-trilogy which I would like to see have a purpose beyond faking us out. I feel the direct comparison between her and Aerith does potentially feel more intentional along that line of thinking

apologies that got quite lengthy and disjointed but hopefully made some sense hah

That's a really good catch! I think as well it's interesting to note that as well as Yuna not having to sacrifice herself, they also brought back Tidus at the end FFX-2 - albeit only in the hidden ending that you have to 100% complete the game to get. So clearly SE aren't against bringing back characters that appear to be gone for good.

I definitely think that Aerith is going to live at the end of Part 3 - the lifestream dance is obviously a nod to Yuna, but in terms of FF7's narrative I think it was also deliberately meant to show is that Aerith can and is learning to control the lifestream while she's alive, so she doesn't need to die to be able to manipulate the lifestream to help defeat Meteor.

I'm absolutely convinced we'll get a payoff to the idea of defying fate, just because otherwise it would be really bad writing. They very carefully set it up in Remake with Aerith and Nanaki having full knowledge of the future, and Cloud having fractured visions of it and have then built on it further in Remake; both through Marlene having gained that knowledge from Aerith, and using the interludes with Zack to establish a) that characters we expected to die could survive and b) the rainbow motif to show when fate's been changed, a motif that then appears when Cloud blocks Sephiroth's sword and in both scenes when he's holding Aerith and she wakes up. To suddenly undo that in Part 3 and return to the status quo of the OG would be a complete narrative letdown and anti-climax after everything they've teased, and I think the devs are better than that.

The OG ending is a complicated one and was always intended to be bittersweet, but it's telling that in an interview in the Rebirth Ultimania, Kitase said that he hopes all the characters find happiness at the end of Retrilogy, implying that he doesn't consider that they did at the end of the OG. And if you want everyone to have a happy ending . . . well, the characters that had the most obviously unhappy ending of all of them were Aerith, who died, and Cloud, who was broken by her death.

Not to mention that Nomura said in the same interview that Kitase asked for "a very major something" that wasn't in the OG for Part 3, and I really don't see what else that would be except a ending in which Aerith, and possibly Zack, both get to live and Cloud and Aerith are reunited.

[whywoulditho]

hq movie review!!!

(not spoiler-free)

went to see the haikyuu movie: dumpster battle today and i wanted to share my thoughts!!

first of all the movie had better animation than season 4 of the series! even though it stuck with the same animation style and character designs this was a much more neatly done project for sure. it felt like they had finally adapted into the style and managed to bring out the best version of it. in that sense i feel like season four was their experimental phase, if that makes sense? the movie's animation was so much smoother than i expected. i still prefer the first three seasons' style, but this wasn't bad at all in my book.

they used the same OSTs from the series as far as i've noticed, and they did make the match dramatic enough in most parts, (-we'll get to those other parts) and the voice cast did a good job as always.

they cut the arc a little shorter, trying to fit it into a 1h 30m runtime. it's a three set match so it was bound to be shorter than the five set matches like the shiratorizawa and the inarizaki matches, but it still deserved a good two hours in my opinion. you might think, well obviously they weren't going to animate every single point but honestly? furudate drew almost every single point and people READ that, on paper. we would have eaten up a two hour long movie. but well, since it's all done let's talk about what we had, and what we didn't.

the movie opened with a redrawn version of the season one scene where hinata meets kenma for the first time. it was a nice, nostalgic touch. they kept focusing on the random crow and cat they added to the background of the scene for peak symbolism and frankly i kinda loved that. i don't care that it's overdone it's still good okay? 😤

oh and even though they reanimated that first scene, there were still many instances in the movie where they cut to flashbacks from earlier seasons taken straight from the original version with the older animation style.

the first half of the movie was weaker than the second. they skipped a bunch of points and tried to only show the important lines but without the leading rallies the lines just looked kinda goofy and out of place. this one for example,

when they threw in this line i was kinda thrown off?? because like, the build up just wasn't there? does that make sense? this whole bit about yamaguchi finally catching up to tsukishima and then actually surpassing him was very well done in the manga. and it was a huge thing too, the two of them were the first page art of that volume, but the movie tried to get it over with in like, thirty seconds, i'm not even joking.

this part:

was made into a weird little slideshow type of thing that transitioned into their high five and it looked so goofy to me... i'm sorry. i just wanted them to have this moment so badly. and they did, kind of, but it wasn't all that satisfying.

also, they didn’t give us tsukkiyama having a telepathical conversation, HOW DARE YOU.

tendou and tsutomu watching the match on tsutomu's ipad was also in the movie! i was really happy to see that because that's one of my favorite things from this arc lol. though they didn’t give much of tsutomu's frustration with tendou.

the first half was pretty bland, accurate to the manga but with most inner monologue cut and some parts skipped.

through the middle they gave us the kuroken childhood flashbacks, it was cut shorter than it was in the manga. and get this, i feel like the way they delivered their childhood memories were like they wanted to make them more about kuroo's love for volleyball than exploring kuroken's bond with each other. i feel like the movie tried too hard at focusing on one thing at a time, they cut the tsukkiyama scene short because during that bit they were focusing on kenma. they cut the kuroken memories short because they were trying to focus only on kuroo.

this kept going, honestly. even though this match was ALL about parallels and the bonds these characters have with each other, friendships and rivalries. in the manga, furudate made this match about exploring ALL the dynamics he'd been building up since the beginning. it was more random, yes, but that's what made it natural. kenma and hinata's rivalry/friendship, kenma and kageyama's rivalry, yaku and nishinoya's rivalry, kuroo and daichi's rivalry, tsukishima and kuroo's mentor-student relationship, nishinoya and asahi's trust bond, whatever the fuck yamaguchi and tsukishima had going on. the man took the time to give us crumbs of all these dynamics in the middle while a volleyball game was kind of just playing in the background. i know that sounds like i'm saying playing volleyball wasn't the main point, that's because that is what i'm saying. inarizaki v karasuno was about volleyball. shiratorizawa v karasuno was about volleyball. nekoma v karasuno wasn't. it was about two teams. because furudate made sure that we know every single player in each team, through and through.

this match wasn't just a simple match, it's something that they never shut up about since season one. this match was the end goal of all the relationships and parallels and dynamics they have been building for these characters, and the movie did a half-assed job delivering their fated battle.

it's like they looked at the arc and thought, "this is about hinata defeating kenma. let's focus on that and mention everything else briefly." so it was a whole mess of characters throwing these one liners back and forth and you just sitting there trying to catch up. look, maybe i'm blinded by nostalgia. but i don't remember feeling this way while reading the manga.

(edit: totally forgot to mention this but THEY CUT OFF THE COACHES' BACKSTORY !!! no young nekomata :((( )

okay, moving on, they did give us the birdcage scene:

and better than the manga, if i'm being honest. like i know it's a bad picture but LOOK at that composition. i love it so much.

they also included the one where kenma and shoyo shoved knives up each other's throats (they're such good friends fr 🤧)

they did this scene:

so well i was about to cry. shoyo literally screamed it was kinda overdone but i'll take it. kuroo's laugh was beautiful.

there was also this other scene where kenma is exhausted from running and is just desperately trying to keep playing and they did this amazing 360 degree perspective shot from his pov and IT WAS SO GOODDD. the heavy breathing kept getting louder and intenser and you could literally FEEL his breath and the voice acting in that scene was top notch i had fucking goosebumps. there was this bit where he faced the ground and his sweat was dripping down on the floor and YOU COULD SEE HIS REFLECTION ON THE WATER DROPS?? LIKE???? i'm still shocked this studio pulled that off you guys it was awesome.

and at the end of the match, they took this scene,

and made it 10 TIMES BETTER?? AS IF THAT'S POSSIBLE???

in the movie my boy kenma was fucking FLOORED. he was lying on the ground all sweaty and limbless and he had this beautiful smile on his face as he looked up at kuroo and said this line. I LOVED THAT SO, SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WARM IT MADE MY HEART. THANK YOU WHOEVER LOOKED AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PANEL AND THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN MAKE THIS EVEN GAYER"

oh, and they also included this for some reason lol:

okay, so, the movie wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.

i was really surprised by the quality of animation. they definitely solved the problem they had in season four where even the smallest movement always looked stiff. i don't think they paid enough mind to what the arc was actually about, to be honest. they tried to make this into just another one of their matches. well, maybe it was and i'm just reading too much into the character dynamics, who knows..

oh, and the bitter sweet news is that in after credits they teased the kamomedai match. since we're getting only one last movie for the finale it was a given that either the kamomedai match or the time skip were going to be cut short or cut off entirely. well, it doesn’t seem to be the kamomedai match... so. yeah. i guess we're kissing our beloved brazil and V league and olympic arcs goodbye. there was no way they did all of them justice anyway.

while the time skip is a high sacrifice i have to say i'll still be pretty happy if they make the kamomedai game full-length. that's my favorite match in the whole series and it definitely deserves more love. i doubt it will receive any if it comes in the expense of the time skip though...

so have you seen the movie? let's chat on the comments!!!

[this-is-krikkit]

i might be a little feverish but little talks by of monsters and men sure hits different when you listen to it while thinking of season 4 to post canon levihan and i'm going to write an essay about it.

cool? cool.

so, hear me out. first verse:

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way

that's levihan adjusting to life right after the battle of shiganshina, right?

i mean, the old and empty house and the noises it makes while they sleep represent the now near empty headquarters that they've lived in for a decade that's become haunted with all of their dead comrades' ghosts ; and that line some days i can't even dress myself that is, imo a pretty good match for hange's state of mind (who is no doubt struggling to adjust to their role as Commander) while levi has to watch them shoulder all the responsibility of facing this new world none of them imagined as it is, and knowing it's technically his fault they're in this position

There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear

now the analogies in this verse might be a little less obvious but bear with me. hange's old persona's is still in there, beneath that much more professional exterior they have to project in their new leading role, and so the other voice saying i miss our little talks to me could symbolize levi missing his crazy close friend (who does make a reappearance once in a while, thankfully, but is mostly concealed) because things aren't quite the same as they used to be between the two of them

and of course, hange is exhausted from that burden they inherited 4 years ago and doubting themself and their decisions (especially when things start to go south with eren and later his minions), and although levi can no doubt understand that, he's still loyal to them as his leader

and then. well then comes that bridge. and i'm gonna let the lyrics speak for themselves, aight?

You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

okay i lied, i'm still going to point out that please hang around is a very obvious parallel to levi telling hange to keep watching, or possibly a reference to his last gesture towards them when they told him to let them go and look cool and he couldn't help himself and had to break everyone's fucking heart over that intimate version of their military salute.

the I'll see you when i fall asleep i feel could refer either to levi's hallucination of all the scouts veterans, or to the fact that he's hoping he gets reunited with them when it's his turn to die, many many years in the future after he gets the rest and peace they all deserved.

anyways THIS IS THEIR ANTHEM BYE!!

[squareallworthy]

It's Triangle Tuesday! A triangle, its centroid, a theorem, and two bonus triangles.

Greetings, seekers of triangle knowledge. Today I'm going to talk about the centroid.

Among triangle centers, the centroid is, at first glance, maybe a bit underwhelming. Take a triangle ABC. Let the midpoints of the sides be M_a, M_b, and M_c. Draw a line from each vertex to the opposite midpoint. The three lines cross at a point G. And that's the centroid.

Very simple. Simple almost to the point of banality. Don't get me wrong - the centroid is a great point. It's just not very flashy in its construction, and the fact that it exists doesn't seem at all deep. Later on, we can show how the centroid relates to other things, such as the symmedian point, the Euler line, and the nine-point circle. But for now, it's kind of hard to appreciate the centroid on it own. Let's do what we can do now, before getting into that other stuff, to see why the centroid is interesting.

It's not at all difficult to prove that the lines meet at one point, but the proofs I've looked at aren't all that enlightening. You draw a line and look at some parallel lines, and you say, "mmm, okay, that checks out, that's a proof all right," but it doesn't feel like you've learned much.

Even before proving that the lines are all coincident, it seems obvious that they should be. Each line cuts the triangle into two equal parts, and so when you draw two of them, the point where they cross is the middle of the triangle, measured two ways. So it just makes sense that the third line has to go through the same point, right?

Let's see if we can follow our intuition on this to get at something more fundamental. The lines that connect the vertices to the midpoints of the side are called medians. In general, lines like this that extend from a vertex to the opposite side of the triangle are called cevians (pronounced ˈtʃeviən, CHAY-vee-un). Are the medians really all that special among other cevians? What if instead of marking the midpoint of each side, dividing it into two segments in a 1:1 ratio, we mark a point that divides the side in a 1:3 ratio, going counterclockwise around the triangle? If we then draw the cevians, what do they look like?

Not surprisingly, the they aren't coincident. They outline a triangle (in red) that looks like the original triangle, but smaller and tilted counterclockwise. If we divided in a 1:3 ratio going clockwise, we would get a clockwise-twisted triangle. And if we move the marked points back and forth, sure enough, only when the points are halfway along the sides do the three cevians cross at one point.

And if we take the crossing point of two cevians, and then draw the third line through that point? Where does that hit the opposite side? Here I'll go back and draw that with a dashed line on the 1:3 ratio counterclockwise drawing:

It lands pretty close to the vertex. Somehow that point has to balance the 1:3 ratio we used to measure the other points, but it's not clear exactly how.

So how are coincident points connected to the place where we cut the sides? Let's get a bit more formal. Let's have a triangle ABC, and a point P that is not located on any of the sides of the triangle. We'll draw cevians from the vertices through P, and they will cross the sides of the triangle at D, E, and F.

So we would like to know where F, for instance, cuts line AB, and how it relates to the other points. Or, to put it another way, if we knew the ratio of the length of AF to FB, and the same for BD to DC, could we say what the ratio of CE to EA is? Conversely, if we have a triangle with three cevians cutting the sides at D, E, and F, and we knew all the ratios AF/FB, BD/DC, and CE/EA, could we say whether the cevians are coincident or not?

It's easy to get lost here with statements made up of long strings of segments. If you are like me, your eyes start to glaze over when you see that and you don't learn anything. So let's lay out a plan for figuring this out. We are looking for some information about ratios of line segments. To do that, it would be helpful to have some similar triangles, because similar triangles have all the same angles, and differ only in size and orientation. So if you know something about the ratio of two sides of a triangle, you know the same thing about the corresponding sides of a similar triangle.

And a good way to get some similar triangles is to arrange to have them meet vertex-to-vertex between parallel lines, like this:

With this arrangement and a little bit of Euclid (which I won't get into here), we can show that the pairs of angles marked with the same letters are equal. The two triangles with angles α, β, and γ are therefore similar, and we can say that the corresponding sides are in the same proportions -- that is, if we compare the red dashed segment to the blue dashed segment, it is the same ratio as the red solid segment to the blue solid segment. The four colored segments together make a Z-shaped figure, and it is this kind of arrangement of segments that we want to consider as we figure out what's going on with our cevians.

So with that in mind, let's go back to triangle ABC and add a line through A that is parallel to side BC. The new line meets two of our cevians at G and H.

And that creates sets of similar triangles:

AHF is similar to BCF (in red, below)

AEG is similar to BCE (green)

AGP is similar to BDP (blue)

AHP is similar to CDP (yellow)

From that, we can get these relationships:

AF/FB = AH/BC (from the red triangles)

CE/EA = BC/AG (green)

AG/BD = AP/DP (blue)

AH/DC = AP/DP (yellow)

We are interested in the ratios that the sides of ABC are divided into, that is, AF/FB and so on. We have two of them above, which I have bolded. We still need to get BD/DC and then shuffle things around to get all of those into one equation.

The two equations above from the blue and yellow triangles have the same right hand side, so we can say

AG/BD = AH/DC

and by reshuffling,

BD/DC = AG/AH.

There's the ratio for the third side. Now let's multiply that together with the equations we got from the red and green triangles:

AF/FB * CE/EA * BD/DC = AH/BC * BC/AG * AG/AH.

Everything on the right cancels out, so if we reorder the things on the left side to be alphabetically nice, we have

AF/FB * BD/DC * CE/EA = 1

which is the first half of what we wanted to know. If three cevians pass through the same point, then they cut the sides into ratios that multiply to 1. What a nice simple relationship to remember!

What about the converse? Can we prove that if three cevians cut the sides in ratios that multiply to 1, they all pass through the same point?

Let's suppose that we have divided the three sides of ABC with points C, D, and E in a way that AF/FB * CE/EA * BD/DC = 1. Then let's draw the cevians BE and CF and say that their crossing-point is called P.

Now, if we draw a cevian from A through P, does it land at D, as our equation says it should? Well, it has to land somewhere, and we'll call that point D'.

Can we prove that D' = D?

We were given that

AF/FB * BD/DC * CE/EA = 1.

And since we just drew three coincident cevians, we can conclude from what we just proved that

AF/FB * BD'/D'C * CE/EA = 1.

Combining those, we do a little algebraic manipulation:

BD/DC = BD'/D'C

BD/DC + 1 = BD'/D'C + 1

BD/DC + DC/DC = BD'/D'C + D'C/D'C

(BD+DC) / DC = (BD'+D'C) / D'C

But BD+DC is the whole side BC of the triangle, and the same with BD'+D'C. So

BC / DC = BC / D'C

and therefore D = D'. And that's our theorem:

In a triangle ABC, lines connecting the vertices to points on the opposite sides D, E, and F are concurrent if and only if AF/FB * BD/DC * CE/EA = 1

This is called Ceva's theorem, after the Italian mathematician Giovanni Ceva (ˈtʃeva, CHAY-va), who proved it in 1678. But as usual in mathematics the theorem is not named for the original discoverer. That was Abu Amir Yusuf ibn Ahmad ibn Hud, who proved it in the 11th century. (I got the above proof from this website, though I have cut some corners by ignoring signed distances and neglecting the case with an obtuse triangle.)

Given Ceva's theorem, we can trivially prove that the medians of a triangle are concurrent. The midpoints divide each side in the ratio 1/1, so

1/1 * 1/1 * 1/1 = 1

proves the existence of the centroid. There are much more direct ways to prove this, of course, but Ceva's theorem will come up over and over again in the study of triangles so it's worthwhile to get it down now.

Now since we've proved that the medians are coincident, here are some of the properties of the medians and centroid.

The medians divide the triangle into six triangles of equal area.

Each median divides the triangle into two triangles of equal area, because they have equal bases and heights. Therefore

T+U+V = X+Y+Z

but also

Z+T+U = V+X+Y

and subtracting the second from first gives

V-Z = Z-V

V = Z

and similarly for every pair of opposite triangles. But also, X and V have equal bases and heights, so X = V, similarly T = U, Y = Z. Putting that all together shows that all six areas are equal.

The centroid G divides the triangle ABC into three triangles ABG, BCG, and ACG of equal area.

This follows immediately from the previous result, and we can immediately follow that with

The centroid lies on each median at 2/3 of the distance from a vertex to a midpoint.

ABG has the same base as ABC, and 1/3 the area, so it must have 1/3 the height. Those two very straightforward facts give us this less obvious property:

A point X divides a triangle ABC into equal triangles ABX, BCX, and ACX only if X is the centroid.

For a triangle ABX to have 1/3 the area of ABC, it must have a height 1/3 that of ABC, so X must lie on the dotted line in the picture, which runs through G. Analogous lines for triangles BCX and ACX must also concur at G.

And, of course, the most famous properties of the centroid, and the reason G is traditionally used to name it, are that the centroid is the center of gravity of the vertices, and also of the area of the triangle. (If you are coming from a physics background, you might object that the centroid of an object is by definition its center of gravity, or center of mass -- that's simply what "centroid" means. To avoid any confusion, I am using a gemometric definition of centroid as the place where the medians cross, and proving that this point is also the center of gravity.)

The centroid is the center of gravity of the vertices.

If A and B represent equal masses M, they can be replaced by a single mass of 2M located at Z. The center of gravity of C and Z, then, is a point 1/3 of the way from Z to C, which is G.

The centroid is the center of gravity of the area of the triangle.

Every line parallel to AB can be replaced with a mass Z_1, Z_2, ... at the midpoint of the line. Each of these masses will be located on the median, and so the center of gravity of all these points must also lie on the median. By a similar argument, the center of mass must also line on the other medians, so it must lie at their crossing point. (Yes I admit this is rather handwavy, but a better proof requires integration and I am doing elementary geometry here, not calculus. I have an idea for a proof using purely geometrical methods but I haven't finished it.)

To be complete, I will note that the centroid is not the center of gravity of the perimeter of the triangle. That's a different triangle center, which we will perhaps consider on a different day.

Finally let me introduce two triangles related to the centroid and the medians. The medial triangle, shown in red, is the triangle formed by the midpoints of the sides. The antimedial triangle, shown in blue, formed by lines passing through the vertices A, B, and C and parallel to the opposite side, which meet at A', B', and C'. The anti- part comes from the fact that ABC is the medial triangle of A'B'C.

Both of these new triangles are similar to the reference triangle ABC and can be formed by reflecting ABC through a point and scaling up or down by a factor of 2. That point of reflection is, of course, the centroid.

If you found this interesting, please try drawing some of this stuff for yourself! You can use a compass and straightedge, or software such as Geogebra, which I used to make all my drawings. You can try it on the web here or download apps to run on your own computer here.

An index of all posts in this series is available here.

[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

#ttpd analysis day nine - Guilty As Sin?

there are not enough words to convey how in love i am with the repeated motif of love being a religion. ex, sacred prayer i was there, stained glass windows in my mind, we bless the rains on Cornelia street, lord save me, etc etc etc. it’s difficult to neatly identify all of the lyrics this track parallels but the two primary songs are False God and ivy. this is one of my fave tracks she’s ever done and my only hot take is that this should’ve been a track 13. without further ado -

drowning in the Blue Nile - this line is genius for all of the implications, yes it’s a band, it’s also that (continued) metaphor for depression (ocean wave blues, I’m with you even if it makes me blue, etc), and in discussing with @aslowmotionlovepotion she also said denial is not just a river in egypt

falling back into the hedge maze is one of my favorite lyrics, there’s something so deeply romantic to me about falling (or as she says, crashing) fully into someone and getting tangled up/lost in the feelings. if you follow the imagery and previous tracks she basically describes being lost at sea, clinging (even white knuckling) the raft, and it’s almost like she comes to shore and enters this Alice in Wonderland type labyrinth as partially a reprieve but there’s also this residual guilt (am I allowed to cry?). I just love the imagery; she describes something lush and green when she could’ve described it more clinically like a chess game as she did in Dear John. idk it just speaks volumes to me. continuing with the lush imagery, the song parallels a lot of ivy

one slip and falling back into the hedge maze /your ivy grows and now I'm covered

oh, what a way to die, I keep recalling things we never did/I'd live and die for moments that we stole

my boredom’s bone-deep/I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones

these fatal fantasies/I wish to know the fatal flaw

If it’s make believe/I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland

what if I roll the stone away/my house of stone

it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it/my sheets are ablaze

also the religious imagery and the False God (my other beloved) parallels are just

throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks/we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

oh, what a way to die/remember how I said I'd die for you?

why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?/we might just get away with it

religion's in your lips/messy top lip kiss

the altar is my hips/what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh?

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?/I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me

I choose you and me religiously/even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love

I keep these longings locked in lowercase, inside a vault could be directly referring to folkmore. it could also be journal entries, poetry, or woodvale! (jk about the last part, lol). but i think the most obvious connection would be to loml on the same album, there are also religious lyrics within that track, but in going through the album I’m trying not to fully discuss later tracks until it’s their turn in the tracklist.

i also want to include this little bit

"La petite mort", from French: Small death, is an expression meaning "short loss or weakening of consciousness / consciousness".

it’s interesting considering the sex/orgasm euphemism and how closely it follows the repeated glimmers of death in Guilty As Sin? these fatal fantasies/building up like waves crashing over my grave/oh, what a way to die/they're gonna crucify me anyway

ending it with the dreamy am I allowed to cry? also reminds me of gold rush which “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it”

[dearmahiru-archive]

TW: discussions of suicide and hanging

Just had a terrible realization.

There's this wonderful theory that prisoners only have half of their memories involving their crime and you need to use their other pairing to understand the full story. I'd link it but unfortunately the creator deactivated. Everyday I mourn not archiving it because it was amazing.

They only explained how it related to Fuuta and Mu but I was thinking about what it meant for Shidou and Mahiru. After thinking about it, a horrible question hit me: Did Mahiru intend to commit a lover's suicide with her boyfriend?

IT SOUNDS CRAZY and I don't think I necessarily believe it because it'd make her crime way too sympathetic, right? Like, unless she was a terrible person no one would guilty her! But like... it's there and it's not leaving my mind.

Ofcourse, what I'm proposing is that Shidou and Mahiru intended to die to be with their loved ones but Mahiru was stripped of her memory. Both pairings would have to share the same memory, afterall. This means I'd have to convince you Shidou wants to die—

—Which is distressingly easy to prove. First thing out of his mouth upon meeting Es. Massive focal point about his character, harder to miss it honestly.

As for Mahiru, you know how her crime took place in Aokigahara, the suicide forest?

I explained it in this post but it's likely Mahiru's crime was indirect to parallel Shidou who directly killed his victims. Along with the imagery of Mahiru wrapping his hands around her victim's neck and their shoe falling off, I think it's likely he died by hanging. Initially, I thought he died while Mahiru was at home cooking dinner, hence her horrified expression towards the end.

Few things we'll need to establish. When Mahiru's boyfriend dies it's on Day 16. I'm assuming this because why else would she wear the birdcage outfit and look horrified at the end? Then, there's also this shot in Undercover where Mahiru's hands are laying ontop of her victim. I think this must be in Aokigahara because no other entry before this takes place in a forest. The closest is the outdoor cinema in Day 13 but, and I checked, the cuffs are different. Instead, Mahiru's birdcage outfit matches up the best.

Obviously, the cuffs between the two jackets are different so they belong to different people. Mahiru must have went with her boyfriend to Aokigahara.

However, like I did, you might be thinking, "Oh but Mahiru doesn't have the motive to go. She isn't suicidal." To which I say:

The fact she laughs after saying the first few lines as if that's a teehee :3c thing to say. This isn't funny Mahiru. I'm distressed over your mental health.

Bringing up the shoes again, there is a scene where Mahiru takes her shoes off. Specifically, when she's calling her boyfriend and then when she dives headfirst into the feathers.

Initially, I had brushed off this off but it's a weird detail to include, right? Noticably, the shoes only come off when she's unhappy in her relationship: slamming the phone down after arguing with her boyfriend and then staring wistfully outside of the birdcage. They're on again after she wakes up from her nap, and her boyfriend has already died. Even if it doesn't necessarily mean she's suicidal, it's still linked to her unhappiness.

Adding onto this, there's these lyrics from This Is How To Be Inlove With You:

"We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad."

"This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can't come true It's all because of love."

These lines are sung over Days 9-12 after Mahiru confesses and starts dating her boyfriend. Along with the lines about matching pain, it's when she takes off her shoes, so she's really not happy in this relationship. Over the course of this relationship I think they're both having a negative impact on eachother's mental health. Mahiru is consistently taking up her boyfriend's time (waking up him up in the morning to call, begging him to take her out on dates, etc) and then potentially manipulating/guilt-tripping him. For Mahiru, she's putting a large amount of effort into being a good girlfriend and not receiving anything in return. Not once does Mahiru ever mention something her boyfriend has does for her, and she's very easy to please.

Despite how cute it's portrayed in her MV, atleast one of their fights got nasty. In the 2nd trial teaser, Mahiru screams "Don't say you love me so easily!" Which is likely directly at her boyfriend. Concerning implications since this is only voiceline where she says anything like this. Her first MV, first voice trailer, and second voice trailer are all saying she loves this guy but she's screaming at him to not tell her the same? Despite being in the chorus of This Is How To Be Inlove With Love You's lyrics? A fuck-up has occurred here.

I should also note, Mahiru has only expressed anger towards her boyfriend. Kotoko threw her on death's door and Es, accidentally, put her in that situation and she still loves them both. At most Mahiru's upset with Es but it's only empty sadness. Seriously, what could her boyfriend have done that's worse than literally attempting to kill her?

Now, I tried to write to all of off by saying Mahiru would've remembered if she tried to commit a lover's suicide and there'd be more hints. However, if you remember the beginning of this post, if Mahiru had her memory erased then she doesn't know how her boyfriend died.

I think this is most apparent in her interrogation answers and voice drama. Mahiru always refers to her lover in present tense, saying things like "I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes." There's also the way she speaks about her crime, she "supposes" she killed her boyfriend. There's several reasons why she'd act this way but I'd say this aligns with her having a fuzzy memory.

(Also pretty suspicious for Milgram to ask her "Are there people you’d be leaving behind after you die?" Why would we, the audience, need to know that.)

Ofcourse, this theory isn't perfect! You could come up with all sorts of reasons why x evidence actual something else entirely different. I'm not convinced of it entirely myself but I think it does make sense? I Love You can't come soon enough to confirm everything.

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

The Tenmas: Simon and Athena Lite

The Monstrous Turnabout is... an episode. It's... certainly one of the Ace Attorney cases of all time... and it has a murder...

Alright alright. I'll pack it in. There's a lot I like about Monstrous; Athena and Apollo's blossoming dynamic, Simon and Bobby's introductions... though those aren't specific to the case at hand - those things could have happened in any case.

There is ONE thing I enjoy about it that I don't see getting much attention in the Dual Destinies fanspace; the Tenmas. As implied in the title, there's a LOT of parallels with these two. But let's introduce them with a quick character analysis first! Spoilers incoming (but hopefully you already knew that!)

Jinxie Tenma

Jinxie Tenma, the first of them we meet, is a woefully troubled lass. A combination of schizophrenia and the yokai-obsessed culture she was born into leaves her shaking with fear most of the time, constantly wary that a monster is lurking nearby to do harm. She carries charms with her wherever she goes, even wearing one on her head, and reflexively slaps one on people who manage to scare her (not a hard thing to do honestly). She's constantly vigilant and her psychosis doesn't lend itself to being easily understood by others. When she's gripped by intense fear, her schizophrenia worsens to the point where she sees yokai inhabiting an entire room, obscuring the moment she found the Alderman dead and her "father" close to unconsciousness.

It's said she lost her mother at a very young age, finding courage in the golden flowers that symbolise her. We'll come back to this, don't worry.

She also has a habit of sleep-walking far from the mansion, rationalising that she had been possessed by a yokai - namely Tenma Taro. Both she and her father have seals on their heads to prevent such a thing from happening - Damian getting the entire top of his head covered in warding seals to prevent Tenma Taro from escaping. We'll come back to this too.

Damian Tenma

A stone-faced man with an intimidating build to match, but a heart of gold to contrast it. He's annoyed by how the former belies the latter but apologises profusely for causing distress. He's also extremely protective of his daughter - especially after his wife passed away. How kind and protective? Well... threatening to break out of the Detention Centre to offer Apollo tea and later to go check up on Jinxie should give you a good idea!

He's adamantly against the merger with Nine-Tails Vale and is quite unpopular in the region. Despite this, his wife was born and raised in the Vale and Jinxie had decided to move there to be more independant and get closer to her mother's origins. Damian doesn't seem to have any objections to this, preferring that her daughter pursues what makes her happy than be overbearing. The pressure-point that pushed him toward the merger was a threat against his daughter's well-being - an anonymous threat from L'belle in his efforts to obtain "Tenma Taro" (a giant gold nugget) from the Vale to pay off his debts. Still wanting to fight the merger without drawing attention, he did so under the guise of the Amazing Nine-Tails who fought against Tenma Taro (ie Nine-Tails Vale would fight against Tenma Town, never to join forces). Notice also that the first time we see him in this guise, he's protecting his daughter from the curse of Tenma Taro. Knowingly or not, he's protecting his daughter from becoming a casualty of the greed Tenma Taro inspires in people such as L'belle.

Up to now, he's shown himself to be a kind man and a loving father. A smart one as well, finding a way to fight against the merger and rally Nine-Tails Vale behind his cause without giving his identity away and resulting in the blackmailer making good on their promises. When his daughter's on the line, he's willing to play both sides to make sure she isn't in harm's way. And when his trial threatens to put her in the line of fire...

Tenma Taro

Alright, this is less of a character and more a persona. "Tenma Taro" himself isn't interesting - an entertaining sequence but not that deep. It's the act of Tenma - no, not this one - NO, not the rock, pay attention - DAMIAN! Damian Tenma! Him taking on this comically villainous persona that re-enforces what we already know about him. For one, it's to protect his daughter. She's far and away the most important part of his life - more-so than his political standing - yet despite not being guilty, he plays the villain to help her testimony hold water, even if it implicates him all the more. For two, he's very good at playing up a character to make his ends meet. The Amazing Nine-Tails is a chilvalrous hero valliantly protecting Nine-Tails Vale from Tenma Taro, swaying the public towards his wishes of going against the merger. It's hammy, sure, but the people seem to buy into it!

Hmm... I wonder if that's a dig at how easily people took to Fulbright's ridiculously heroic visage... hmm.

For three, it's him turning a part of himself he disdains to his advantage. He knows he's an off-putting guy and it bothers him quite a bit, but he's willing to lean into that in order to protect what's important to him. It's resourceful and a showing of how much he loves Jinxie that he's willing to do this. He's even willing to play on his daughter's belief that they are at risk of being possessed by Tenma Taro - an evil that threatens to harm both of them through L'belle's schemes and the one she believes to have killed the Alderman. Nevertheless, he takes the burden of being the villain to protect her.

Now I was going to talk about how Taro could be an alternate personality here... when being asked questions about what Damian saw, Taro draws upon what Damian knows as if he were another person. When he comes-to in the detention centre, he questions why Apollo and Athena are talking to him like he's some evil overlord. I figured "oh, maybe this Tenma Taro is just a yokai-fied explaination for his system of personalities". Buuuuuuut... the ending of DD makes it clear that it is, in fact, a persona, him lamenting that he can't fight himself when people requested "Tenma Taro" face of against the Amazing Nine-Tails.

Referring to both Nine-Tails and Tenma Taro as "himself" is decent enough evidence that this isn't a system of multiple people like Uendo, though feel free to pitch in if I made a mistake here. Chances are I have!

Overall, the Tenmas are a fun pair of characters and their story highlights a lot about them. The tragic daughter of a long-lost mother - trying her best to live a normal life in spite of her condition - threatened by the plans of a supposed aide to steal the rock that would solve all of his problems. Despite his misgivings, a stoic and intimidating guardian takes advantage of his most belothed traits in order to protect this girl he holds so near and dear, respecting her independance despite it going against his stance on where she intends to go.

Hey wait a minute-

The Parallels

Athena and Simon's plight is the beating heart of Dual Destinies. There is no debate. EVERY case in the game has some significant (and even minor) element that ties back to their conflicts. In the Tenma's case, it's almost play-for-play a spin on the very incident that started this mess.

Simon and Damian - responsible to varying degrees for the saftey of a young girl - are forced to take the fall for a crime committed by an unknown force most only know as a supernatural entity. For their respective reasons, this mysterious assailant wanted to steal away a priceless rock from the person they had killed (both very important people in their own right, clad in white and yellow). Said unknown party posed as someone important to this girl in order to get away with their crimes; L'belle disguising as Damian under the Amazing Nine-Tails mask & the phantom disguising as Metis using a Noh mask. These items also have supernatural connotations, with the Nine-Tailed Fox being a key figure in the myth of Tenma Taro and the Noh mask being said to be able to turn the wearer into. Wait for it. A phantom! When push came to shove and the girl was at risk of being indicted for the crime, Simon/Damian leaned into the false acussations, using their naturally intimidating qualities to their advantage in order to either buy enough time for the mystery to be solved or simply to take the fall in her stead.

Finally, the ones responsible for these crimes were thought to be valuable aides to both men; L'belle being the literal aide to Damian and "Bobby Fulbright" being the detective responsible for handling Simon during his conviction.

The Tenmas in this case serve to highlight the undying love and loyalty underpinning Simon Blackquill's actions. Damian is a scary guy but is aggressively polite and puts a great deal of effort in ensuring the safety of his daughter Jinxie. Simon has built quite a frightening reputation himself, but everything he does - from taking the fall for UR-1, to gunning after Starbuck so hard in 5-4, to stepping in and recounting his false confession in 5-5 - is all done to protect the most valuable and beloved treasure of his mentor, and someone he undeniably cares for himself. While prison has changed him quite a bit, he's retained a keen awareness of other's needs and breaks character on occassion to reveal his softer side. In this case, accepting Jinxie's warding charm shortly after threatening to behead her father, likely realising this is a genuinely mixed-up but still kind girl that he's needlessly frightened.

It's also worth noting that despite Damian's seeming dislike of Nine-Tails Vale based on the merger, and Simon's disdain for defense attorneys, both respect Jinxie and Athena's pursuits in a place they're not too fond of respectively. Speaking of, Athena's first reaction upon hearing about her client Damian? Tears. Literal tears. Probably not just for how much he cares for Jinxie - she probably caught the similarities to Simon and was reminded of his dorky kindness. Granted it doesn't take much to make Athena cry but I'd say that's a good enough reason to.

I'm quite fond of the Tenmas myself, though part of me does have to admit it's because they're shadowing a much more important and stirring dynamic. I liken their story to Sasha and Orla's in 5-DLC, oddly enough - one focusing on Simon's side and the other on Athena's. How both of them risk being run to ruins but being completely geniune in their desire to see the other free. Man, now I have to talk about Reclaimed at some point!

Did I mention that Jinxie and Athena are at least some flavour of neurodivergent? At least, that's what's implied on Athena's end. Jinxie's unambiguously schizophrenic. Maaaaaan, I gotta talk about Athena's divergent little brain too... been holding off on that re-write for too long, maaaaaaaaan!

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY! Just the same as Jinxie found courage in her mother's golden flowers, Athena found a posthumous connection to her mother through studying analytical psychology. It's through that she's able to find the ability to actually help the situation with Simon. Both found themselves enabled to help resolve the situation through their connections to their mothers. And like how people would think Jinxie was possessed by Tenma Taro - both during the trial and during her sleepwalks - Athena would similarly be accused of being the monster that caused UR-1 in the first place. Damian and Simon would protect both from this by shouldering the burden of being the monsters for them - Damian the evil crow man, Simon the phantasmagorical killer.

So yeah, the Tenmas are alright. Now if you'll excuse me! I need to figure out who the Phineas Filch is in UR-1...

[gioiaalbanoart]

Hello my talented friend! Ashley is stealing my heart. When can I read about her adventures? Also: can you tell me more about her? Where did she come from (in your brain) and why is she so cool?

Hello @fortunatetragedy !!!

Tons of kudos are flying to you, catch them 💗💗💗

(catch something to drink too is gonna be long 🍻 🍻🍻...)

****

Right now Ashley is arching a brow at me , arms crossed and foot tapping (even more than usual) to hurry up and get to work at her story. She's actually being patient (yes, she can be!) .

Because she knows I HAVE to close another writing fanfic first, which hopefully I'll do in the next couple of days  🤞 🤞 

This is just how it has to be because I have to close a circle. We made a pact about it and I have no intention to piss her off more than I already did 😅

****

Right now I have approximately four draft/chapters and a lot of scattered material such as scene/dialogues/bits-of-plot-outlined-sort-of..... (big LOL on the last one , I might start to use post-it on the door too).

All of it basically on my computer or in snippets here on tumblr Which is why I was wondering on a section/post to keep updated until I'm ready to start sharing more....

Because (drums rattling) : The scarred angel is, in my brain for now, the first one of a trilogy.

It gives you an idea of how much urgent is for me to start working on it seriously and, most of all, continuously.

I'd like publish (on AO3, I suppose) once I complete and edit the first draft/book.....(I'm already sweating)

This while I'll work on the second book and so on (kind of like you're doing for DMLS).

This is the idea.....

NOW : We both know how wide is that fucking gap between an idea and real life, don't we?

****

Ashley Knox pointed her face in my brain exactly one year ago, just like that : that name, curly blonde hair, arctic eyes, scars, bad temper and all.

With a possible quest/investigation somehow linked to drug cartels (Thank you Ashley!)

I was just back to writing then, I already had others ideas but she just wouldn't leave me alone until my best on line friend pointed out she was so persistent because I HAD to write her story and there was no way around it.

I'm sure you're familiar with the situation....

So I started to write bits here and there while a kind of world/plot was taking his weird shape (the shape is still quite weird btw).

It includes violence because the story evolves mainly on the mexican border and will be somehow linked to drug cartels and, here too, there is no way around it.

But I want it also to be about healing and magic despite the plot/investigation and the background of the two MC (Ashley Knox and Amy Salinas, journalist, friend and...we'll see).

The magic part might be "subtle vibes, kind of, but consistent" and I know it will be a huge pain in the ass (More sweating here)

****

Ashley has been scarred when she was sixteen (in the story she's about 23), can't say who did it because it's part of the plot 😉

She has a raw temper and is a lone (red) wolf.

She always rubbed shoulders with taking care of herself, growing alone, dealing with random stray like her , cartels, violence, guns and so on. She also will seek for revenge.

I'm thinking at her revenge as parallel with the main investigation.

Despite the world she evolved in she has her own strict moral code, a lot of sarcasm and lot of strenght.

She could use some love too ....but she's really selective about it.

The "love" part would be ,idealistically, part of her healing path.

Of course it never goes from point A straight to point B.....

Amy is around same age, suffers from ptsd after being raped and "casually" meets Ashley and decides to stick around against ALL ODDS....

Part of it because she's thunderstruck /love first sight kind of 😂 , BUT nothing will be obvious about it. ...

Part is because she will be claiming her life back (healing again). Amy is strong too, in a different way, and that's not her world.....

I see Ashley/Amy relationship as a kind of love story/slooooooooooooooooow burn....I'll try to make it weird as possible and probably fail but we'll see 😉

The line relationship/love line will totally evolve with the flow.

****

I'll stop here because I' could probably go on and brag about Ashley even longer (You have my endless gratitude for giving me the opportunity btw 💗💗 )

****

Weird bonus facts

There is a "Jaime" in Ashley's background story that has been important to her, in a weird kind of way.... The guy is already dead but he' ha's been there with that exact name since the beginning. And now I know you 😉

Ashley has three scars : a long one on her right cheek, another on her forehead and a smaller like a sick joke of a smile on her left cheekbone....One year after she's born in my brain I have now a 25 stitches scar too (the recent surgery) . Lucky me on my smaller back not face but I can't help to think about some kind of parallel. For me casual/random don't exist. I just hope that it stops there....😅😅😅

Her favorite line is : "I don't care what you think" and goes around in my brain multiple times a day. Again, nothing casual.

"The end" for now 🙏💗💗🙏

[steddie-fanfic-recs]

Hi! I love your blog and your recommendations are just amazing! Thank you so much for your work! I wanted to ask your recommendation list for Rockstar Eddie Munson fics.

Hey you! I’m sorry this took so long. Life kinda got in the way. You know how it is. Anyway, I absolutely adore rockstar Eddie, I don’t care how popular and common it is. I will devour it until my last breath. Which is why it was difficult to select which fics to include in this list. I had to stop myself because I couldn't stop adding more and more to it. In any case, I hope it’s to your satisfaction, dear Anon. I'm so happy that you enjoy the blog. <3 Thank you for the request.

Completed fics: Sweet Surrender by morningberries the night breeze carries something sweet by asbealthgn Tuesday's Gone With the Wind by thisapplepielife hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end by The_in_between_honey you've got a pretty kind of dirty face by Lihhelsing choose the rose garden (over madison square) by strawberryspence keep you like an oath by griesly Tis the Damn Season by HairMetal666 my way, your way (anything goes) by rogersharringtons the beginning of a bad joke by alligator_writes In This Shirt by Oonionchiver a bottle of rouge (just me and you) by anniebibananie, galmance what we should have known all along by bravelittlesoldier Every Little Thing He Does (Is Magic) by Kwills91 Meet-Cute in the Metal Pit by pez_the_platypus Somebody To You by tears_for_years Star Star by poorlittlegreenie Ruin me by rainbow_nerds j'adore venise by oakenorcrist for this gift, I do feel blessed by wheatisstillwheat Cum on Feel the Noize by monochromevelyn a brief inquiry into online relationships by common_tongue Your Biggest Fan by LexiRoseWrites in a crowded room, you're still all i see by steddieas_shegoes Somebody To Love by Penny00Dreadful Kids With Feelings Like You and Me, Understand Him, He'll Understand You (For You Are Him, And He Is You) by Oonionchiver Press Those Honeyed Lips To Mine (And Call It A Lullaby) by StarlightDreamer16 runnin' with the devil by alligator_writes

Ongoing fics:

Crossroads (Hellfire on my Trail) by Nevertheless_5

it's good to see you back in a bar band, baby by LiarsandThieves22

Lost For A Long Time (Two Parallel Lines) by steddieeddie

In My Heart of Hearts by RurouniHime

Smooth Talkin', So Rockin' by writer_in_theory

[kamiversee]

okay, i calmed down a bit. holy shit what a chapter. this chapter is possibly one of the most intense chapters you've posted yet, if not the most. the only other chapters that immediately come to mind in terms of emotional intensity are the ones including Gojo's tearful confession and the chapter with the "last kiss." this chapter devastated me on a completely different level. the drama had me reeling and i loved it so fucking much. well done, Kami. really well done.

i'm going to try to not sound like a broken record since you already know my immediate thoughts based off of my past few anons 😭 it's so interesting that Choso immediately goes to call Geto's brother shitty, yet later on in the chapter Geto refers to them at friends. Choso's denials are believable since he does seem like a major introvert and only really goes out of his way to socialize with the reader, but i wonder if we'll ever meet Kenjaku in this fic. or is this a sneak peak as to who we may meet in a certain sequel...? 👀👀👀 KAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! why do i feel like you're going to draw some parallels between Suguru and his brother's relationship to Choso's relationship with Sukuna. i'm not sure how it would go, but if you do choose to do that i feel like it would floor me.

i love that this chapter is unveiling so much of Choso's toxicity holy shit. i know it's all related to his possessive nature, but the anger issues had me taking breaks and walking laps in my room at 1:30 am on a work night. the way he's upset about things we aren't even aware of (how "flirtatious" we come off in a regular conversation) was expected but the way it built up to him exploding was just *chef's kiss*. the way still calls us little pet names, especially after that huge fight, stung me.

not only did this chapter reveal so much about Choso, but it really does solidify how toxic the reader is for him as well. there's no such thing as a perfect character (even though these jjk men get so close) but this was a perfect reminder that despite everything, the reader has her own red flags to work through as well. will she ever? probably not bc holy shit that passage was so perfect and needed. also, who wouldn't act that way in that kind of situation 😭 swatting OUR hand away when HE is the one causing the scene? omfg it got me so mad LMFAOOOO

also the reveal that Sukuna is a physically abusive asshole? omfg. it makes sense for his character but still, the contrast of that info to how we knew him is intense. it's a shame that he's so fucking hot 😭😭😭 with the things he's done, i understand why Choso has the feelings he does. but holy shit dude, the reader didn't know 😭 why tf is he taking it out on her 😭😭😭

Suguru that motherfucker. i hate now smart and intentional he is with every fuckin' action he does in this series. UGH. the way he had me cringing (in a good way) to the point of having to take breathing breaks after practically every line. especially when he said "Go after him, idiot."

KAMI. YOU 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 OH MY GODDDDD. IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THE READER IS TO CHOSO, GOJO IS TO THE READER, HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY POINTING A NEON-LIGHT ARROW TOWARDS THAT PARALLEL. such a genius way to reuse that line. once i read that, it fucking clicked. the same fucking line Geto says to Gojo in chapter 8 after their first big fight. oh my fucking God Kami. reading that made me have to put down my phone and stare at the ceiling for a bit. so fucking well done. it's lowkey so funny how Geto has been there for so many of the big fights. i'm so fucking excited to see how this develops. my brain is so fried once again.

- ☃️

Smirks. Chat, it’s time for another Kami yap session, LETS GOOOO

1. Gojo’s breakdown chapters & the chapter where Choso leaves (chapter 19 I think) were one of the only chapters that made me tear up while I wrote them😭 Well, aside from the next one I’m abt to drop- ANYWAYS THOUGH, glad you enjoyed it like always ^.^

2. See, here’s the thing about Kenjaku’s mentioning, he was only brought up to show two things; One, Choso has friends and a life outside of the reader, and Two, Choso and Geto have more of a connection/knowledge of each other than what might’ve been expected :)

It’s also another slight anime reference bc like I’ve said previously, I do tend to mirror things such as friend groups or actions to the way things are done in the anime & Choso’s appearance was always made with Kenjaku so, why not make that a factor here yk?🤷‍♀️

3. There actually are already some parallels ^.^

Notice how Choso calls Kenjaku shitty & Suguru snaps back by saying Choso’s brother (Sukuna obv) isn’t any better. Then, you also have Yuki who points out that both men haven’t told the reader anything about these terrible brother’s of theirs, despite both men having connections & intimate moments with her.

It’s kinda meant to show that there is a lot the reader simply doesn’t know. That was honestly somewhat the point of the past few drama chapters! There’s a list of things she learns all in the span of one day, from Gojo’s obsession to Sukuna being abusive— she learned all of that within a single day.

Anywho, the parallel is simply that the men who she claims as her type both have done similar things to her in regards to opening up🤷‍♀️

4. I wanna note that a lot of people are calling Choso’s actions here toxic. Now, I’m not going to disagree of course but, I will just say, his moment of blowing up isn’t unnatural. Choso’s not the best with his feelings, as we can see, and imagine you’re in his shoes for a moment.

How would you react to everything he was just told? Do you think you wouldn’t have blown up as he did? Especially when you consider how passionate he is about his brothers, more specifically, Yuji.

Just wanted to throw that out there! Yes, he shouldn’t have yelled the way he did but this is something that’d been building up & because he’s such an introvert (I am too ngl) it’s not unusual for him to have a sudden outburst as he did seeing as he typically keeps his thoughts and emotions inside rather than wearing them on his sleeve :)

5. Yep, I want people to understand that she herself is not perfect in anyway. The reader just gaslit the hell out of Choso & played on the fact that he believes she knew nothing about Sukuna.

NOW before y’all jump on our mc, while it is toxic & bad, she only does that for the benefit of everyone if you think about it. I said this earlier but she has learned a shitload of info in one day. With that, she’s just as stressed and tensed as Choso is atm so she uses her situation in order to manipulate Choso into telling her the truth about everything.

Think about it, she could never manipulate Gojo into telling her his truth and as said, the last thing she wanted was to go through that again, especially with someone like Choso who typically tells her everything.

Yes, yes it is bad that she did that but in a way, it was for something positive such as forcing Choso to open up to her. Not only that, it also gives her a path to reveal other things to him ^.^

6. Again, Choso didn’t exactly mean to blow up on her but he’s been tense the entire time so it was bound to happen. He’s not blaming her, he’s just upset and is unsure of how to properly express tht as we can see💀

And I think I said this to a few anons so far but, who knows the last time Choso & Sukuna interacted with one another? Given that & based on what the reader experienced, we don’t know how long ago Choso saw Sukuna be abusive to women, now Yuji on the other hand is different ofc because Choso clearly states Yuji’s current age and that kinda shows that tht abuse is ongoing.

7. When I tell you, I WAS SMILING SO HARD AS I WROTE TS. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE making parallels so I literally went back to the chapter with Gojo & Geto just to recall what Geto said to him and then I was like “Yup, time to reuse this shit😈”

AHH I LOVE DOING THT SM UGHHH

But yesyes;

Gojo —> Reader —> Choso

It’s so perfect too ^.^

Ty for reading, mwah, ily <33