#we broke up 2 years ago so it's nothing new. he even said he felt I was disrespecting him when I took less care of myself----which actually

[avenger-hawk]

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[readychilledwine]

Lost Bonds pt 2

Summary - After the second war, an unexpected bond with Y/n Archeron, and repairing all he's lost, Tamlin is shocked with news from the very female Rhys has been protecting from him.

Warnings- cliffhanger because I liked the suspense, angst in a way, unrequited love, one sided fated mates

A/N - I'm going to apologize and ask for forgiveness now. The rest of this is written, but it was uncomfortably long. I broke it into 3 parts, so you all weren't reading a short novella.

Read part one here Pt 3

Winnowing was the stupidest form of transportation, y/n thinks she has ever used. 

She sighed as she walked through the woods she found herself in, praying silently to the void that she was still in the Night Court. 

It definitely did not smell like home, though. The sweet scent of flowers and petrichor surrounded her like a warm embrace. Welcoming her, relaxing her. Her finally clue she was lost came from looking up once more. The trees were blooming. It was late winter in Velaris. Yet here, small pink and white buds covered every tree she could see. They swayed in a soft, rain scented breeze that almost seemed to tingle her skin.

She sighed heavily, playing with the wedding ring and band resting on her left ring finger. She didn't know if Azriel would be proud or upset. She had managed to winnow herself from the Illyrian Steppes to Spring. 

Even new to the world of the fae, she knew that was not an easy thing to do. It explained her exhaustion, the small trickle of blood running down her nose. She continued walking, hoping she would find someone, anyone who may help her. 

Tamlin felt someone enter his court uninvited and shifted to head their way. All the High Lords had just received a message from Rhysand regarding her.

Azriel had evidently been training her with her new powers blooming and suddenly appearing out of nowhere. She had been practicing winnowing, and now they could not find her.

It would have been ridiculous to assume an untrained female had made her way all the way down to the seasonal courts, but after Nesta had shown her hand just a few years ago, and Elain after that, it would not have surprised any of the High Lords at this point. He continued moving closer to the border between his court and the human realm, following where the magic was alerting and then pausing. 

You stood before him, illyrian leathers clinging to every beautiful curve. He shifted with a heavy sigh. “Come. Let's get you to The Manor so Rhysand can come get you.” The look of relief washing over your features tugged at his heart. The bond had not snapped for you, but he didn't need to feel your emotions to know you were afraid and very tired. 

You took his hand, bracing yourself as he tore through the fabric of the world and landed in a garden outside of his repaired estate. “You need food,” he said casually. “We can either go inside so you can eat while you wait for him, or there's a table out here.” 

He wanted to beg you to come inside, to see what he had done, to see what your home should look like. He had imagined for years now a life with you. A life where he heard your laughter every day, where you loved him and he you.

He had rebuilt his home with that life in mind. A grand piano sat centered in a sunroom you'd both use for entertaining. A dais where two thrones sat. Rooms for future children if you want them. He rebuilt the manor with love he had buried away for you. And now he hoped you noticed it, acknowledged it even. You belonged here. You would radiate here.

Aside from showing your body, the black leathers of the Night Court did nothing for you. You needed to be in jewel tones, in light colors. He remembered your skin glowing in the gown at the High Lords meeting. He ignored the pain in his chest as he saw the ring sitting on your finger, the one that matched that dress perfectly.

Blue was a lovely color for you. The silver band was plain as if Azriel had not put much thought into the ring. It was beautiful, but his heart rebroke, knowing it should have been rose gold and diamonds sitting on that finger. 

You motioned inside, wordlessly avoiding eye contact with him. He took you to the dining room where dinner had been waiting for him and grabbed another plate and cup. 

He served you in silence. The familiarity of the situation almost mocked him. “Thank you,” your voice was so soft it had him almost shivering. It had been 6 years since the war ended, 6 years without seeing or hearing it, and it had his soul burning. He yearned for you. His perfect match. 

He nodded. “You're welcome.” He summoned a paper, writing a note to Rhysand and the other High Lords that he had found you and where you had made it to. “Rhys will probably come running, so eat quickly.”

You shook your head. “He's so busy with Nyx lately that he hardly cares what I'm up to. He will send Azriel.” His throat tightened. He'd had to see his mate with her husband. 

Your husband, who was probably worried sick, who probably had been searching as far out as he could. “Then you should definitely eat quickly. Mother knows how desperately he probably wants his wife back home.” Tamlin clocked the way your eyes grew sad, the small frown that formed.

“Yeah. I suppose.” He didn't question that sadness, allowing you whatever space you needed to process it alone.

You were so comfortable next to the male who had ruined everything for you that it was almost laughable. Tamlin, to your shock, was warm. He was being kind. He seemed to know what you needed before you even asked. You had pictured Tamlin as this monster for so long. A cruel male with a heart of stone, but his mere presence had something glowing in your chest, sending warmth through your body.  “I thought the manor was destroyed.”

Tamlin's green eyes looked towards you, spoon held halfway to his mouth. “I had a reason to fix it, along with the whole court.”

You nodded. “It's really pretty.” The walls were lined with Vining floral, marble floors dancing with natural stone veining. Soft green curtains veiled the large floor to ceiling windows. "Elain would love all the flowers. She used to make me work in the gardens with her. I miss it sometimes."

He seemed to blush at the words. “Thank you. And if you truly miss working gardens, there are plenty here that would love attention." Your lips twitched up, but you two fell back into silence.

Tamlin was unsure of what to say to his mate. A piece of parchment appeared beside him, elegant script gracing the page. “Rhys will be here in a moment with Azriel.”

You nodded before caving and asking the question that had been on your mind since you first met the male in his beast form, breaking down the door to the rundown shack you all called home. “What was the significance of killing the wolf?”

He turned to you, brows raised. “Feyre didn't tell you?” You shook your head, staring at the tea you were holding. “I was cursed by one of Hyberns former generals. In short, I had to make a mortal who hated fae enough to kill one fall in love with me in order to break her spell and free the lands. That wolf was one of my closest friends.” The last sentence was barely audible. “Feyre killing him made her the only one who could break the curse.”

As your face fell into confusion, darkness appeared in the manor, gathering in the corner like a void until Azriel and Rhysand stepped out. “Tamlin,” Rhysand greeted smoothly. You couldn't help but to laugh at the High Lord, covered in paint, hair ruffled, eyes tired. “y/n, are you okay?”

You stood nodding, and Azriel moved quickly to you, arms around your waist as he picked you up and held you close. Once he set you down, you turned to Tamlin. “Thank you for sheltering and feeding me and for the invitation to play in your gardens."

“Of course,” he and Rhysand were locked into a stare down, one Rhysand clearly had every intention of winning. “She is unharmed, Rhysand. Just tired and needing rest. You're allowing him to push too hard.” 

Rhys narrowed his eyes, looking to you then back to Tamlin before nodding. “I will consider your opinion. Let's go, y/n. Nyx was distraught when he heard you were missing.”  Any chance Tamlin may have had of convincing you to stay faded instantly. You moved to Rhysand, letting him take your hand and examine your face for any injuries. “Azriel, let's go.”

The shadowsinger nodded and spoke coldly to Tamlin. “Thank you for caring for my wife.”

Tamlin hid a scoff behind his wine and nodded. “It wasn't for your benefit, spymaster.” The two glared hard towards each other before Azriel smirked and walked towards you. 

A feeling of guilt sat in your stomach, lingering there as Rhys began to summon his magic. “Wait,” you pulled your hand away from Rhys and took a step closer to Tamlin. “I'm sorry.”

The Lord of Spring arched a brow feeling the conflict in you from the bond. “For?”

You took a heavy breath, hands shaking as you subconsciously reached for Azriel's hand. You needed his familiarity, possibly his protection. You were about to tell Tamlin something that may have made everything he had gone through feel empty, like his love for your sister had been for nothing. You took a deep breath, looking up and sending a silent prayer to the Mother.

“Feyre didn't kill the wolf," the faces of all three males dropped, the secret finally coming out and being brought to light. “I did."

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr

Lost Bonds Taglist:

@impossibelle

[mbappe-pedri]

old friends

Plot: Yn and Jude have been lovers since they were young but broke up when Jude moved to play for Borussia Dortmund

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Reader

Genre: angst

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Past 2020

POV YN

Me and Jude have known each other since we were born. Our mothers were best friends so it was natural that we were close. When we got 7 years old I started to have a crush on him and apparently he too.  So when we became 8 years we got together. We have been together since then. Our relationship have been going on so well until couple of days ago. He decided to end our relationship because he is moving to Germany to play for Borussia Dortmund. I was so crushed. He didn't want to have a long distance relationship so he thought it was better to end everything. 

Flashback 

We were hanging out at his place and watching movies. Jude told me he needs to talk to me 

Jude: Yn I need to talk to you about something, he said

Me: yes sure what is it my love?, I asked him

Jude: I love you so much and it hurts me to do this, he said

Me: My Love you are scaring me did something happened, I interrupted and asked him 

Jude: We need to break up, he said very seriously

Me: Why did I do something bad?, I asked him with tears in my eyes

Jude: Please don't cry, Im not breaking up with you because of you I'm moving to Germany to play for Borussia Dortmund and I don't think long distance relationship will work for us, he said and tried to hug me but I pushed him away 

Me: You are so selfish, I hate you Jude Bellingham and i don't ever want to talk to you, I said running out of his house and went home and burst into tears. 

~2023

I have been working at Real Madrid for 6 months now as a physiotherapist and i really love it. The players are so nice to me and i have a good friendship with some of them like Vinicius Jr, Rodrygo, camavinga and tchoameni. We always hangs out together after the training and have a lot of fun. 

I have been dating a guy for 2 years now and he is really the best. His name is Adam and he works as an Lawyer. He is really caring and kind. My mother is really happy we are together. 

Now that it's summer we have some new players that had transfered here. We lost one of the best players here in Real, it's Karim Benzema since he decided to transfer to Al-Ittihad. So we got some new ones. And one of them is my ex Jude Bellingham. Our relationship ended in a bad way so I don't know how it will work out now.

Today I have some players that needs some help with their injuries. So today I had Camavinga and Rodrygo. So I started with Camavinga that had an injury on his ankle he got from training. Then I had Rodrygo. After I was done with them the coach called me to see the newest players 

Ancelotti: So Yn this is Arda Güler he is one of our newest midfielder and this is our other newest midfielder Jude Bellingham, he said 

When I saw Jude it felt like my heart sank. I haven't seen him since that day we broke up. He looks more handsome now than he did before. When he saw me it was like his body froze. I just turned around and walked away and went in to my office. I felt like I was about to cry. 

After collecting my thoughts I heard a knock on the door 

Me: Come in, I said

X: Yn?, the familiar voice said and I know who it was without even looking who it was

Me: Jude leave please, I said

Jude: Yn please let us talk, he said pleading with me to talk to him

Me: we have nothing to talk about, you lost your right to talk to me after you broke up with me, I said with tears in my eyes

Jude: It was the worst decision I ever made, I shouldn't have broken up with you, please can you give me another chance?, he asked

Me: Sorry, but no I can't give you any chances, I said

Jude: Okey I understand I know I hurted you so much, but can we at least be friends?, he asked

Me: It will take some time but yes we can, I said

Jude: Great can I take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate our friendship, he said

Me: No I'm sorry I'm busy today, I said

Jude: Oh okey, see you, he said smiling 

Me: Yes sure, bye Judith, I said laughing 

Jude: No not that nickname, he said complaining 

Me: Hahah what it's cute, I said laughing 

Jude: yes whatever bye, he said rolling his eyes while smiling.

[cheynovak]

Somewhere only we know - Part 2 

Dean Winchester x F/Reader (Y/N)  

Warnings: 18+, smut, fluff, angst, just a lot of love 

Side note: English isn’t my first language. 

This story does not follow the SPN timeline. 

-- 

After the hunt where Dean met Y/N in a dream caused by a Djinn the brothers move on. Although Dean and Y/N said goodbye she keeps lingering in his head. What if he had stayed, would she loved, him the same way as she did in their shared dream.  

Now many years later their paths cross again.  

-- 

The bunker echoed with the sound of new voices, an underground sanctuary where the Winchester brothers found solace amidst the chaos of their world. Sam, ever the strategist, had brought a new purpose to their home. He had opened its doors to those who strayed from the apocalypse world, seeking refuge and guidance in the ways of hunting. 

Dean paced the dimly lit corridors, the tension of unfamiliar faces settling heavily upon him. He had always been wary of outsiders, his loyalty fiercely guarded around those he deemed worthy. But this influx of strangers, each with their own tales and trials, left him feeling like a stranger in his own home. 

Mary had spoken to Sam a few hours ago, about how Dean lived in silence amongst them. Worried about her oldest son she had asked Sam to talk to him. Giving him more purpose. 

One evening, as the bunker hummed with the murmurs of its newfound inhabitants, Sam sought out his brother in the confines of his room. He found Dean sitting alone, listening to some music to shut out the chaos swirling outside his door. 

“Hey, Dean,” Sam’s voice broke through the stillness, a beacon of familiarity in the darkness. Dean glanced up, his expression guarded yet softened by the sight of his brother. “Hey, Sammy,” he greeted, the lines of tension easing from his features. 

“Why don’t you join us for dinner tonight, it might be nice to meet some people.” Dean sighed, the weight of responsibility pressing down upon him like a leaden shroud. “I don’t know, Sammy,” he confessed, his voice heavy with the weight of unspoken fears.  

“I’m pretty comfy out here.“ Sam looked around, “What are you doing all day, Dean?“ Well you know, “Watch tv, wash or work on Baby, listen to some music.” speaking of music. The second Foreigners waiting for a girl like you started playing Dean pushed the skip button.  

“Still can’t hear that song huh?” Dean pretended it was nothing, shrugging his shoulders. “Dean... it has been years. Why didn’t you search for her already?” “And tell her what Sam? I’m sorry for not being there for you. Sorry for driving off? Sorry for not being able to give you what you need.” 

“Dean...” Sam started. “No Sam! I made a choice, I’m ok with that.” An awkward silence fell between the brothers. He didn’t believe his older brother, he loved or cared either too much or too little and, in this case, it was way too much.  

“Well, you need to get out more, maybe you could fetch us the food I just ordered?” Sam suggested, Dean rose from his seat with a heavy sigh. “If you want me gone, just say so Sammy.” Sam looked hurt and shocked. ”D-Dean that’s not it...” But before he could say more the older brother was gone.  

As he drove, the cool breeze of the open road washing over him, Dean felt a sense of liberation he hadn’t realized he’d been craving.  

-- 

Y/N sat at a cozy booth in the burger joint, as she waited for her date to return from the restroom so they could leave. The soft chatter of other diners and the clinking of silverware filled the air, creating a soothing ambiance that enveloped her in a sense of calm. 

Alex wasn’t a bad guy, but their conversations were filled with awkward silences and when he talked all he could talk about was work. They met at the office, he was always the nice quiet guy.  

When he asked her out, she knew how much it would have taken from him. So, she said yes. As she zoomed out, looking in front of her, amidst the gentle hum of conversation, she heard it.  

A familiar rumble, a distinct purr that sent a shiver of recognition down her spine. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognised the sound. She glanced through the window, her breath catching in her throat as she spotted the unmistakable silhouette of a Chevy Impala parked outside. 

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips, memories flooding her mind like a tidal wave of nostalgia. The sound of that engine was etched into her soul, a reminder of a time long past yet never forgotten. 

Her date returned to the table, a quizzical look in his eyes as he noticed the smile playing on her lips. “What’s got you grinning like that?” he asked, curiosity lacing his words. 

Y/N hesitated for a moment, her gaze lingering on the Impala parked outside. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she replied, her voice tinged with a hint of wistfulness. “Just a fond memory, that’s all.” 

Her date nodded, accepting her vague answer with a shrug before diving back into conversation. But Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling of longing that settled in the pit of her stomach, the echo of that familiar sound reverberating through her thoughts like a haunting melody. 

Y/N had to be honest and tell Alex a few times she didn’t hear him. All she could do was glance outside.  

When they stepped out of the diner, the cool night air wrapping around them like a comforting embrace. Y/N’s eyes immediately sought out the familiar shape of the Impala parked nearby, her steps instinctively leading her towards it. 

Leaving her date standing alone a few feet away.  

As she approached the car, her hand reached out almost of its own accord, gliding over the smooth surface of the Impala’s body. Tracing her curves like she was a woman needed to be loved. She peeked inside her heart raced. It looked exactly like the car he used to drive.  

And then she noticed the carvings, the initials, the same once he had seen that night. After taking a breath she greeted the car like she had been a friend.

This must be a dream. She thought. I'm dreaming.

“Hello, baby,” she murmured softly out of nostalgia, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Her date watched in surprise, a curious expression flickering across his features. “Is this your car?” he asked, his tone tinged with a mix of confusion and admiration. 

Y/N didn’t turn to him, a sheepish smile playing on her lips as she was reliving her memories in her mind. “No, actually,” she admitted, a hint of embarrassment colouring her cheeks. “But I’ve always had a soft spot for classic cars... especially this one.” 

Her date’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, his gaze drifting back to the Impala with newfound appreciation. “I can see why,” he remarked, his voice tinged with admiration. “It’s a beautiful car.” 

-- 

Dean stepped out of the diner, the familiar sound of the closing door echoing in his ears. His eyes fell upon the Impala and the two people standing around her.  

He couldn’t help but smile as he approached, he overheard a man’s voice, commenting on the car’s beauty. “She sure is,” Dean replied without missing a beat, his voice filled with a mixture of pride and affection for his cherished vehicle. 

Turning to face the source of the comment, Dean’s gaze fell upon the woman standing nearby his car, looking inside, a flicker of recognition dancing in his eyes as he took in their presence... “Y/N?” 

-- 

Y/N’s eyes widened in astonishment as she recognised his voice, a rush of memories flooding back at the sight of the familiar face before her. “Dean?” she whispered, disbelief colouring her tone as she took in his rugged features and trademark leather jacket. 

Dean’s smile widened at the sound of his name on her lips, a sense of familiarity washing over him at the sight of her. He couldn't help but stare, his gaze lingering on Y/N longer than he intended. 

Memories flashed before his eyes, a whirlwind of emotions threatening to overwhelm him as he took in her appearance, the way her hair fell around her face, the sparkle of recognition in her eyes, her lips as she smiled at him.  

Dean's eyes trailed over Y/N's figure. He couldn't deny the rush of desire that surged through him at the sight of her, the memory of her beauty was nothing compared to the real deal. 

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as they stood there, locked in a silent exchange that spoke volumes without a single word spoken. Dean felt a rush of nostalgia wash over him. 

-- 

Y/N couldn't help but notice the change in Dean, the transformation from the young boy she had once known into the handsome man standing before her. His rugged features held a maturity that spoke of the trials and tribulations he had faced, yet his green eyes still held a spark of the boy she remembered. 

As Dean's green eyes met hers, Y/N felt a warmth spread through her. For a moment, they stood there, locked in a silent exchange that spoke volumes without a single word spoken. 

Y/N’s date looked between them, confusion evident in his expression as he realized the connection between Dean and Y/N. “Do you two know each other?” he asked, his tone laced with curiosity. 

Dean chuckled, a twinkle of amusement dancing in his eyes as he glanced at Y/N. “You could say that,” he replied cryptically, a knowing smirk playing on his lips as he shared a brief glance with Y/N. 

“Oh, eh right. Dean meet Alex, Alex this is Dean.” The men shook hands. Dean looked back at you. “Boyfriend?” he asked a little scared. Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the question. "Oh no, no, just a colleague," she replied quickly, almost instinctively. 

Relief washed over Dean's face, and Y/N couldn't help but notice the sadness that clouded Alex's expression. Alex's reaction was immediate. She could see the pain flicker across his face, a silent admission of the feelings he had begun to develop for her. 

"I... I think I should go," Alex said, his voice barely a whisper as he turned to leave. “Wait a second.” Y/N said walking over to his car.  

Y/N's heart sank as she watched him walk away, a pang of regret coursing through her veins. She knew she had hurt him, and for that, she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. 

"Thank you for the evening, Alex," her voice filled with gratitude and sorrow. “it’s just eh... Dean and I we eh...” “Have a history, I can tell.” He finished her sentence. “I see you on Monday, right?” She nodded and looked back at Dean when Alex drove off.  

A small silence grew between Dean and Y/N. Staring at each other. 

Suddenly, Dean broke the silence. "So, where do you live now?" Y/N hesitated for a moment before replying, "I moved to Kansas." While slowly walking back towards him. 

Dean looked at Y/N, his eyes softening with a hint of longing. Not wanting to let her go just yet. "Hey, eh why don't you join us tonight if you have nothing else to do?" he asked, his voice gentle yet insistent. 

Y/N hesitated, uncertainty clouding her thoughts. “Us?” she asked “Sam, me, a few other people who we, let’s say co house with.” She was still in doubt. But Dean's words broke through her hesitation. "We could catch up, it has been a while" he suggested, his tone filled with sincerity. 

Caught between the pull of the past and the promise of the present, Y/N found herself nodding in agreement. "Okay," she said softly, a sense of anticipation stirring within her. 

Dean's face lit up with a genuine smile as he reached for the car door. "Milady," he said, his voice warm with affection and a touch of playfulness. 

Y/N couldn't help but return his smile, feeling a sense of familiarity and comfort wash over her at his gesture. With a graceful nod, she stepped into the car, the soft leather seats enveloping her in a sense of nostalgia.  

Even the smell was still the same as she remembered. 

The ride was quiet part from the soft rock music coming from the radio. 

Dean glanced at Y/N seated beside him, a rush of memories flooded his mind, triggered by the faint scent that lingered in the air. It was her scent, a familiar fragrance that brought back a cascade of emotions from their shared past. 

The scent carried him back to moments they had spent together and in this car.  

He remembered the way her body felt pressed against his, the warmth of her skin igniting a fire within him that he thought had long been extinguished. Their fingers intertwined, their hearts beating in sync as they surrendered to the passion that had consumed them that night. 

He recalled the soft sighs that escaped her lips, the gentle curve of her neck as he leaned in to kiss her, and the way her breath caught in her throat as their lips met in a fervent embrace. 

-- 

Y/N's voice gently pulled Dean out of his memory. "What's on your mind?" she asked. Dean hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words. But then, with a sigh, he decided to be partly honest with her. "It's just... it's no longer just me and my brother," he admitted, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. 

He watched as Y/N's expression softened. "What do you mean?" “The bunker is filled with people, new people, hunters, allies, friends... it's complicated,"  

Dean explained a little what happened while parking the car in the garage. Before walking back into the chaos.  

Dean walked Y/N out of the garage, his steps slow and deliberate as he led her towards the entrance of the bunker. As they approached the entrance, Dean took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. 

He pushed open the heavy door, revealing the bustling activity of the bunker beyond. Hunters and friends, their voices echoing off the walls. Spotting Sam across the room, Dean raised his voice to be heard over the din. "Hey, you remember Y/N, right?" he said, drawing the attention of those around him. 

As the chatter died down, all eyes turned to Dean and Y/N, curiosity evident in their expressions. Dean took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. 

"I want to introduce you all to someone," he began, gesturing towards Y/N beside him. "This is Y/N. She is... eh, a friend." 

A murmur of surprise rippled through the crowd, and Dean couldn't help but notice the look of shock on Mary’s face as their eyes met across the room. 

As Sam approached Y/N, a warm smile spread across his face, genuine pleasure evident in his eyes. "Y/N, it's so good to see you again," he greeted her, his voice filled with sincerity. 

Y/N returned his smile, feeling a sense of warmth wash over her at his genuine welcome. "It's good to see you too, Sam," she replied, her voice tinged with gratitude. 

As they caught up, Y/N couldn't help but marvel at how effortlessly she fell back into conversation with Sam and the other people here. 

Meanwhile, Dean watched from the sidelines, a pang of loneliness tugging at his heart as he observed how well Y/N seemed to fit in with everyone else. He couldn't deny the twinge of jealousy that crept into his mind as he watched her laughing and chatting with the others.  

-- 

Y/N couldn't ignore the sight of Dean sitting alone in the corner, nursing a beer as he watched the people around him. Sensing his solitude, she made her way over to him, determined to offer him some company. 

"Hey," she said softly as she approached, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "Mind if I join you?" Dean looked up, surprised to see her standing there. A faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You, never, go ahead." 

Y/N settled herself beside him, the warmth of her presence a comforting contrast to the coolness of the room.  

-- 

Mary nodded to Sam while she spotted them, “Who is she?” Sam smiled softly “Y/N, we met her during a hunt. It was so long ago I don’t remember when, must have been at least 10 years.”  

“Dean seems to like her enough to bring her home.” Mary noticed. “I know he was torn when he had to leave her. It took me while to realise it wasn’t the Djinn that affected him, he never talked about her but later I realised it was leaving her that upset him.”  

Mary looked at her youngest boy, Sam could read the question in her eyes. “I said he had to contact her, start a life with her if he wanted, but he claimed it was nothing like that.” Sam nodded towards his brother.  

“Seeing him like this, makes me realise he wasn’t honest to himself.”  

-- 

"It's a bit hectic out there, huh?" she remarked, gesturing to the bustling crowd. 

Dean nodded, taking a sip of his beer. "Yeah, it's a bit much for me sometimes," Y/N studied him for a moment, noting the weariness etched into his features. 

She took his beer out of his hands putting it on the table behind them. "Why don't we go sit somewhere quieter?" she suggested, her tone gentle yet earnest. "Just the two of us." 

"Yeah, I'd like that," 

As Dean led Y/N to his room, his quiet sanctuary away from the bustling activity of the bunker, he couldn't help but feel a sense of nervousness creeping over him. 

Y/N settled onto his bed, leaning against the bedframe with a relaxed ease that contrasted sharply with Dean's own awkwardness. He stood by the doorway, unsure of what to do with himself now that they were alone together. 

Y/N looked up at him, a gentle smile playing on her lips, tapping the bed. "You can sit down, you know, I won’t bite." she offered, patting the space beside her on the bed. 

As Dean settled onto the bed beside Y/N, the floodgates of conversation opened, and he found himself pouring out everything that had happened to him over the past ten years.  

He spoke of the battles fought, the losses endured, and the moments of triumph that had shaped him into the person he was today. How he met Cas and Jack. How his mom was back.  

Y/N listened intently, her eyes locked on his as he recounted his journey, her expression a mixture of empathy and understanding. To his surprise she took everything in very quiet.  

“Dean?” he looked up at her. “Be honest with me please. Why don’t you like being around these people? What holds you back to make friends?” she asked him. 

So typical he though, she hasn’t seen me in years and sees right through me.  

Dean got up, his movements around the room became restless, his hands fidgeting with objects as he avoided Y/N's gaze. Her question hung heavy in the air, stirring up emotions he had long tried to bury. 

"It's not that I don't like being around them," Dean began, his voice low and hesitant. "It's just... complicated." 

He paused, struggling to find the right words to express the turmoil swirling inside him. How could he explain the weight of responsibility that rested on his shoulders, the constant fear of failure, the overwhelming sense of duty that consumed him? 

"They depend on Sam and me," he continued, his voice tinged with frustration. "And sometimes, I feel like I'm drowning under the weight of it all. Like I'm not allowed to just... be." 

"I get it," she said softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his arm. "But you can't have Sammy carry that weight alone.” She got up and held his hand. “And you can always come to me if you need.”  

"Thank you," he said softly, in the quiet intimacy of the room, Dean's gratitude lingered in the air between them like a tangible presence.  

“You know,” she started “I always hoped you would knock on my door again.” As their eyes locked, a mix of emotions danced in the depths of their gaze, unspoken words swirling in the space between them. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I-I was protecting you. You don’t deserve a life like this.” 

In Y/N's eyes, Dean saw understanding, compassion, and a flicker of something deeper, a connection that transcended mere words. He felt a sense of warmth spreading through him, a feeling of acceptance and belonging that he had longed for more than he cared to admit. 

Y/N saw vulnerability, strength, and a glimmer of hope shining through the layers of his guarded exterior. She felt a surge of affection welling up inside her, a desire to offer him comfort and solace in the midst of his inner turmoil. 

“But what if I want to?” She looked at his lips while his hand moved to the back of her neck.  

As they closed the space between them ever so slowly, the air crackled with anticipation, a silent invitation passing between them. Their lips met in a tender embrace, a shared moment of vulnerability.  

The sensation was electric, sending shivers down his spine as he pulled Y/N closer, his hands finding her hips and drawing her in with a gentle urgency. 

Y/N's touch on his chest ignited a fire within him, her fingers tracing the contours of his body with a delicate touch that sent waves of pleasure coursing through him.  

He could feel his heart racing beneath her touch, his pulse quickening with each passing moment as they lost themselves in the sweetness of the kiss. 

In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of them, their bodies pressed together, a soft moan escaped Y/N's lips, sending a jolt of desire coursing through Dean's veins. It was as if the sound was a silent invitation, a cue that activated a primal instinct within him. 

Feeling her response, Dean's hands moved with purpose, one sliding up to cradle the back of her neck again, while the other traced the curves of her body.  

With a gentle yet firm touch, he guided her back, pressing her against the wall with a sense of urgency that matched the pounding of his heart. 

Y/N responded eagerly, her hands moving to grasp his shoulders, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as she pulled him closer. her skin tingling with anticipation as she surrendered to the heat coming from Dean’s body.  

Their breaths mingled in the air between them, hot and heavy. Dean looks at her, making sure he wasn’t crossing any lines.  

And as their lips met once more in a heated embrace, Dean couldn't help but feel a sense of exhilaration wash over him. A primal need to possess and be possessed, to lose himself in the intoxicating bliss of their shared passion.  

"I missed you," he murmured, his voice husky with emotion. "More than I ever thought possible. I've thought about you every day, wondered where you were, what you were doing..." 

His words trailed off as he pressed his forehead against hers, the intensity of his gaze locking with hers as if searching for reassurance in the depths of her eyes. 

"I never stopped thinking about you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "You've always been on my mind, even when I tried to push you away. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that you were missing." 

Y/N's touch was gentle as she cupped Dean's face, her fingertips tracing the contours of his jawline with a tenderness that spoke volumes of her emotions. 

"I felt the same way," she confessed, her voice soft yet filled with conviction. "I regretted letting you walk out that day. It felt like I had lost a part of myself, like I was making the biggest mistake of my life." 

Dean's heart ached at her confession, "And you know," Y/N continued, her voice trembling slightly with emotion, "the only time I felt truly happy was in our dream. It was like a glimpse of what could have been, like a....”   

“A reminder of the life we could have had together." Dean continued her sentence. She nodded. Feeling the weight of his emotions pressing in on him, Dean closed the space between them, his heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and vulnerability.  

His hand gently brushed against Y/N's cheek, his touch tender yet filled with urgency. 

"Maybe I'm being too forward," he began, his voice raw with emotion, "but I want you to stay with me tonight. I need to feel your body close to me, to know that you're here with me." 

He knew he was laying his heart bare, exposing himself in a way he hadn't done in a long time. But in that moment, all he could think about was the overwhelming need to hold Y/N in his arms, to feel her warmth against him and know that she was real. 

Y/N's eyes searched his, her gaze filled with tenderness and understanding. She reached out to take his hand in hers, her touch sending a jolt of electricity coursing through him. 

"I want that too," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "I want to be with you, Dean. To feel your arms around me and know that I'm home." 

A mischievous glint sparkled in Dean's eyes as he flirted with Y/N, his heart racing with the thrill of anticipation. He settled down on the bed behind him. "Home, huh?" he teased, his voice laced with need.  

"Why don't you come over here and I'll give you the warmest welcome you've ever had." 

Dean's heart skipped a beat when he noticed her confidence as she climbed onto his lap, her body inches away from his as she leaned in close. "Is that a promise?" she whispered, her voice husky with desire. 

Dean's grin widened, his hands reaching out to pull her closer until their bodies were pressed together.  His hands guiding her to grind against his hips. "You bet it is," he replied, his voice low and smouldering with passion. 

Their lips melted together in another breath-taking kiss, the world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the electric current of desire pulsating between them.  

Dean's hands roamed Y/N's body, tracing the curves of her form with a hunger he hadn’t felt in forever. 

Y/N responded eagerly, her fingers tangling in Dean's hair as she deepened the kiss, her breath mingling with his in a symphony of passion. With a soft moan, Dean rolled over, laying her beneath him, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them.  

His hand moved under her shirt, Y/N gasped at the sensation, her heart racing with the intensity of their connection. His hands roamer her breasts, kneading while his lips nip at her neck. 

Clothes became obstacles, hastily discarded in their eagerness to feel each other's skin against their own. 

Y/N's soft moans filled the air, Dean felt a surge of primal desire wash over him, his own breath hitching in response. Loving how she said his name.  

The sound was like music to his ears, igniting a fire within him that burned hotter with each passing moment. 

"God, you sound so beautiful," he murmured against her skin, his voice husky with desire. "I could listen to you all night." Y/N's moans grew louder, more urgent, as Dean's hands explored every inch of her body with a reverence that bordered on worship. Each touch sent sparks flying.  

“I need to feel you.” he murmured against her neck.  

Their breath mingled in the quiet of the night, the heat of their passion igniting a fire that burned hot between them. 

Dean's fingers traced lazy patterns along Y/N's skin, sending shivers of anticipation coursing through her body. With each touch, she felt herself melting into him, her desire building with every caress. 

Feeling the undeniable heat radiating from Y/N's core, Dean couldn't resist the urge to explore further. His hand trailed down her body, his fingers dancing lightly over her hips before slipping between her thighs. 

Y/N gasped as Dean's touch sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her, her body arching instinctively towards him. With a soft groan, Dean pressed his hard length against her folds, teasing her with the promise of ecstasy. 

"God, you feel so good," Dean whispered, his voice husky with desire as he rubbed himself against her, his movements sending waves of pleasure crashing over her. 

Y/N moaned in response, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she surrendered herself to the delicious friction. "You want this, don't you?" Dean murmured, his voice dripping with desire as he teased her mercilessly, his words stoking the flames of her arousal. 

Y/N could only nod in response, her body trembling with anticipation as she surrendered herself completely to the ecstasy of their shared desire. ”Y-yes, please Dean. Please.”  

With a low growl of satisfaction, Dean plunged himself deep inside her, the sensation of their bodies joining sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through them both. 

Y/N couldn't help but curse under her breath as she felt the fullness of Dean inside her, his size stretching her in the most delicious way. She clenched around him, her body instinctively responding to him.  

Dean groaned at the sensation, his muscles on his back tensing, while he placed his face in her neck. He leaned into her touch, flexing beneath her hand as she caressed the tense muscles.  

"Fuck, Y/N," Dean breathed, his voice rough with desire as he buried himself deeper inside her.  

Dean's movements slowed, each thrust deliberate and purposeful, the sensation of being one with Y/N was better than he had ever hoped for. With each deep, deliberate movement, he ensured she felt every inch of him, his body moving in perfect harmony with hers. 

Earning every moan or sigh.  

Y/N's breath hitched as she felt Dean's slow and steady pace, her body responding eagerly to his every touch. "God, Dean," Y/N gasped, her voice husky with desire as she met his gaze with a hunger that matched his own. "You feel so good inside me." 

Dean groaned in response "Fuck, Y/N," Dean whispered, his voice rough with desire "Oh, sweetheart," he breathed, his voice rough with need. "Tell me what you want." 

Y/N grinned, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, "I want you to fuck me senseless, Dean. I want to feel every inch of you inside me, driving me wild with pleasure." 

"God, Y/N," he groaned, his voice thick with desire. "That’s so fucking hot." 

Y/N chuckled softly, the sound sending a thrill of anticipation coursing through Dean's veins. "You haven't seen anything yet, baby," she teased, her voice dripping with promise as she trailed kisses along his jawline. 

Dean's heart pounded in his chest as he felt himself growing harder with each passing moment. "Then show me, sweetheart," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "Show me everything you've got." 

With a playful smile, Y/N shifted her position, straddling Dean's hips as she positioned herself above him. 

Dean's breath caught in his throat as he watched her with hungry eyes, his hands reaching out to grasp her hips as she lowered herself onto him. With a slow, deliberate movement, she sank down onto his cock. 

Y/N moaned softly as she began to move, her hips rocking back and forth in a steady rhythm as she rode him with a skill that left him breathless. With each thrust, each movement, she felt herself spiralling closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy, her mind consumed with the overwhelming need for release. 

Dean groaned beneath her, his hands gripping her hips. Feeling Y/N tightening around him, Dean knew she was on the brink of orgasm, and he wanted nothing more than to join her in the ecstasy of release.  

With a primal growl, he guided her movements, urging her to ride him harder, faster, as he whispered words of encouragement in her ear. "That's it, sweetheart," Dean groaned, his voice thick with desire. "Ride me harder sweetheart. I want to feel you come apart around me." 

Y/N's moans filled the room as she surrendered herself completely to the pleasure coursing through her body, her movements becoming more urgent as she chased the elusive peak of ecstasy.  

Dean's hands roamed over her body, his touch igniting a fire that burned hotter with each passing moment. "You're so fucking sexy," he murmured, his voice rough with desire. "I want to come with you, sweetheart. I want to feel you come apart in my arms." 

Y/N's breath hitched as she felt herself teetering on the edge, her body trembling with anticipation as she rode him harder, faster, her movements driving him to the brink of madness. 

As Dean felt Y/N's body tighten around him in the throes of her orgasm, he couldn't hold back any longer. With a primal growl, he thrust up into her. He buried himself deep inside her, becoming more urgent as he surrendered himself completely to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through his veins. 

He sits up wrapping his arms around her as he feels his own release. Y/N cried out as she felt him release inside her, her body trembling with the intensity of their shared climax. She collapsed against him, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she rode out the waves of pleasure crashing over her. 

His arms still wrapped around her as they clung to each other in the aftermath of their passion. Their bodies pressed close, they shared heavy breaths, their hearts pounding in sync. 

Dean's voice was husky with desire as he whispered in Y/N's ear, his breath warm against her skin. "God, that, you, were better than I remembered," he admitted. Y/N's heart swelled with warmth at his words, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she leaned into him.  

"You're not so bad yourself, Winchester," she teased, her voice filled with affection and adoration. 

Dean chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest as he held her close. "I guess we make a pretty good team," he mused, his fingers tracing lazy circles on her back. 

Dean's touch was gentle as he caressed Y/N's thighs and hips, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin as they lay together in the quiet of the room. But as Y/N voiced her worries about someone hearing them, Dean's expression turned possessive, a fierce glint in his eyes. 

"Let them hear," Dean growled softly, his voice low and filled with determination. "Let them know that you're mine." 

Y/N's breath caught in her throat at his words, a thrill of excitement coursing through her veins as she met his gaze. "Yours?"  

She had never seen this side of Dean before, and the intensity of his possessiveness sent a shiver of desire down her spine.  

Dean's voice was tinged with uncertainty as he spoke. "At least if you want to be my girl," he murmured, his words filled with vulnerability as he laid bare his fears. 

Her fingers reaching out to gently brush against his cheek. "Dean," she whispered softly, her gaze filled with tenderness and affection. "I don't want just one night with you. I want every night. I want forever." 

"You do?" he asked, Y/N nodded, her eyes shining with sincerity. "I do," she affirmed, her voice filled with conviction. "I want to be yours, Dean. Completely, utterly your" 

A relieved smile spread across Dean's face as he pulled her closer into his arms, holding her so close as if he never wanted to let her go. "Then you're mine," he whispered, his voice filled with certainty. "Forever and always." 

They lay together, wrapped in each other's arms, almost falling asleep. Y/N’s phone rings: Foreigner I've been waiting for girl like you, started to play. 

Dean looks at Y/N, they stare at each other for a second before they started laughing. 

Knowing this was a sign.  

-----------

Song lyrics : Foreigner - Waiting for a girl like you

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@suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @yvonneeeee

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[kai-anderson-whore]

From the moment I took you in the station (part 2 Colin zable x fem reader smut)

Summary: you and Colin go on a date after it you invite Colin for a few drinks 😏

Warnings: smut, mentions of parents separating, oral (reader receiving), alcohol

Word count:2,4k

Part 1

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.

Before you knew it Saturday rolled along, with that time you and Colin texted whenever you could knowing he was busy with work. At night you both would talk on the phone about anything and everything. You felt like a teenager again with the feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach and the constant blushing.

Amy helped you pick the perfect outfit not even a day after Colin asked you on a date, a black dress that fell just above your knees, showing a little cleavage it was casual yet elegantly formal. It was perfect one of your favourites but you never got around to wearing it yet. You paired the dress with black heels and your favourite pieces of jewellery. Your makeup was simple 'the French girl look' your sister said it was.

You finally got a text from Colin saying he was outside in his car waiting on you. Your sister was already at her friends house so you locked the door and made your way to Colin's car. "Hi" you smiled you were nervous but excited it had been a good while since you were on a date it felt new again. "Wow you look beautiful" Colin said in awe admiring you beauty.

"I feel overdressed my sister insisted I wear it" you giggled nervously. Colin shook his head dismissively "no you look perfect" he smiled beginning to drive to the restaurant. The drive was quite not in a awkward way it was nice.

Soon enough you both made it to the restaurant, Colin gave the name of the reservation the waiter guided you both to a table. "Can I get you both any drinks?" The waiter asked as you both scanned through the drinks menu. "I'll just have a coke with ice" you said with a polite smile. "Yeah I'll have the same" Colin nodded to the waiter handing them the menu. "This place is really nice" you said admirably sure you had been to fancy restaurants years ago but nothing like this.

"I'm glad you like it" Colin smiled he couldn't help but think how beautiful you looked under the bright lights, your eyes shining in admiration taking the decor in. Within a few minutes the waiter came back with your drinks and more menu's, you both thanked the waiter before they left you to your own devices. You opened the menu everything sounded delicious you couldn't make your mind up.

"So hard to choose something" Colin broke the silence between you both. "It really is to be fair though the maple glazed chicken is really screaming at me" you giggled lightly which Colin returned.

Eventually you both sat with your food talking about anything and everything really getting to know each other. "So how come your single?" Colin asked you shrugged your shoulders before replying. "I guess I never really bothered with relationships ever since taking my sister in wasn't really a priority to get out there, how come your still single?" You then asked.

"I was engaged a few years ago but last minute she backed out" Colin summed up, you could see the hint of hurt in his eyes you felt sad that someone would do that to such a nice person. "Oh Colin I'm sorry that's really terrible" you sympathised with him but he shrugged it off.

"So how come your sister lives with you if you don't mind me asking?" He then asked. You contemplated whether to tell him, but you were both getting to know each other. "We'll my mum and dad were going through a rough patch in their marriage and I didn't want amy to see it all so I took her in till they got their act together, but now their going through a really messy divorce" you explained.

"Wow I'm so sorry it must be really hard for you both". You nodded in agreement "but apart from all that it's been great Amy, my sister she's just amazing I don't really want to see her go anytime soon" you lightly chuckled.

The date went really well in your opinion, you and Colin talked about your family's and memories you had growing up. It was the most fun you had in a while before you knew it the night came to an end Colin's car parked outside your door. A slight awkward silence formed between you both neither of you wanted the night to end just yet.

"Do you maybe want to come in for a drink?" You asked hoping he would take you up on the offer. "Yeah sure" Colin accepted both of you getting out his car and into your home. Shrugging out your jacket placing it on the coat hanger by the door Colin followed you like a lost puppy. "Take a seat make yourself at home" you smiled hoping it would calm him down a bit which kind of worked he sat on your sofa While you went into the kitchen.

"Beer?" You offered holding two glass bottles. Colin nodded thanking you taking a swig of the bitter alcoholic beverage. "Nice place you got" Colin nodded his eyes scanning your home. "Thanks" you smiled at him. A few drink into the night you and Colin were laughing at a joke he said. Colin couldn't help but look into your eyes, they were mesmerising to him. Colin's eyes darted between your eyes and lips till he gave in and crashes his lips on your own.

You were taken aback trying to process what was happening. Your lips almost automatically responded to the movement of Colin's lips. You felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach, a warm feeling in the depth of your soul. Your hand cupped his cheek smiling into the kiss. Colin pulled away his cheeks flustered, the grin never left your lips.

"I'm sorry i was out of line I shouldn't have done that without asking first" Colin apologised. You shook your head dismissively "no it's okay Colin I liked it" you bit your lip Colin smiled in relief his shoulders relaxed hearing you say those words. "Another beer?" You asked getting on your feet. "Sure I'll have one more then I got to go" Colin agreed.

"You can't drive under the influence Colin" you giggled "no I'll get a cab if it's alright for me to leave my car here I can pick it up in the morning" Colin asked you nodded "sure I'll get you that beer".

It was same to say that single beer turned into something more stronger. A few glasses of whiskey between you both. Before you knew it you were stumbling into your bedroom - hungrily kissing Colin's lips he was showing just the same amount of lust and desire as you with his lips.

You didn't know what had happened one minute you were conversing in a conversation, next you were stumbling into your bedroom practically ripping each others clothes off- but neither of you cared how it happened you were just glad it did.

Colin kicked the door shut with his heel before turning your body so it was pressed against the door. Sending shivers down your spine. His lips moved from your lips to your neck peppering hungry kisses along the skin. Every kiss he decorated on your flushed skin made you grow hotter, weaker, your head went fuzzy for the detective.

His hands on your waist holding you close to him, your hips subconsciously grinding against Colin's feeling his growing erection. "Oh fuck" you sighed as Colin continued to pay more attention to that one stop that made you react the most too. You skin felt hot with each touch of Colin's lips. They were addicting to you, leaving you craving more.

Colin's hands moved to the back of your thighs, you took this as a sign to jump. Wrapping your legs around his waist Colin carried you to your bed laying you on the mattress. Your dress hiked up exposing your matching black lace underwear making Colin gulp in arousal.

You grinned provocatively propping yourself up on your elbows. Looking up at Colin through your eyelashes as he removed his shirt before crawling onto you. Your lips reconnecting eagerly he was like a drug and you were the addict. You sat back up removing your dress discarding the fabric somewhere in the room.

Colin watched you with lustful eyes, he couldn't believe you were in front of him only in your black pace underwear set. You bit your lip seductively your leg grazing over his growing erection, giving Colin the perfect amount of friction.

Colin's slim fingers hooked under the waistband of your underwear, dragging the lace painfully slow off your body. His hands roamed your thighs, his face inching closer to wear you needed him most. Your chest heaved at the sight of Colin between your legs looking up at you for consent, which you granted with a nod. Darting his tongue out Colin licked a strip between your slick folds. You let out a groan of pleasure propping yourself on your elbows to look at him.

His tongue made its way to your clit, giving you the perfect amount of pleasure. His tongue continues to do its work on your heat, your body reacts to each time his tongue would circulate around your clit then dart your entrance. It felt so good looking down at Colin who's eyes were already on you, looking up at you through his eyelashes 'what a fucking sight'. You thought.

Colin brought his attention back to your clit, one of his hands that was holding your thigh still now entering your entrance. Your walls greedily accepted his fingers clenching around them earning a smirk from Colin. "That feel good" he asked admirably. "Mhmm" you moaned out your hand reaching down tugging his hair. With each time you tugged on Colin's locks his hips would subconsciously grind into the mattress for friction.

You soon felt the urge of release forming in the depth of your stomach, your hips beginning to grind against Colin's face and fucking yourself on his fingers. He didn't mind continuing to get you closer to the edge. "I'm so close" you warned.

Colin didn't say anything but he fasted his movements of his tongue and fingers till you finally let go over his face and hand. Your orgasm hit you hard, your toes curling, your thighs threatening to close around Colin's head as he lapped up your slick wetness.

Your legs trembling with the overstimulation, Colin pulled away from your heat, his hands soothed your trembling legs till you calmed down. Colin crawled back up on the bed till he was face to face with you. Nothing was said you just stared at each other with lustrous eyes.

Colin smacked his lips back on yours allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. You moaned into the kiss your hands roamed his bare chest snaking down to the belt buckle holding his trousers up. You managed to remove the belt without taking your lips off Colin's. Your hand cupped his clothed erection earning a low groan from Colin.

With a blink of an eye you flipped both of you over so you were on top of Colin. Straddling his thighs you removed the rest of the articles of clothing he had left letting his cock sprung free. You gasped at the sight, he was larger than you had anticipated. You took the base off his cock in your hand giving him a few tugs before a lining the tip with your sopping entrance sinking down on him slowly.

Your face scrunching up as he stretches you out. A mixture of pain and pleasure, you both moan in unison you took a few moments to adjust to his size. Your hips moves up and down bouncing along his length at a slow and steady pace. Colin let out a series of sighs and grunts, the moans leaving your lips turning him on more.

Colin watched the way your tits would bounce within your lace bra, his hands on your back pulling you down so he could unclasp the lacy fabric allowing your breasts to fall freely. Colin took your left nipple in his mouth swirling around the hardened bud, you moaned at the sensation. Your hips bouncing along his length feeling every inch of him stretching you out.

Your hands resting on Colin's chest for leverage and to keep you steady. Colin's lips gave attention to your other nipple giving caressing it with his warm mouth. You pulled away from Colin's lips, starting to bounce more faster on Colin's lap, moving your hips in slight circular motions earning a moan from Colin, it was probably the most hottest thing you could have ever heard in your life.

Colin's tight grip on your hips helping you bounce on him, "you look so beautiful" Colin slurred bucking his hips meeting yours. You let out a smile biting your lip, your legs feeling tired, Colin flipped you both over so you were now underneath him. His hand lifted your leg to his shoulder hitting a deeper angle. You cried out in pure pleasure at the new position.

"Fuck right there" you moaned your body jolting with each of his thrusts. You felt close to the edge once again, your walls clenching around Colin greedily taking all of him.

“I’m gonna-“ “let go baby” Colin cut you off you didn’t need to be told twice. Your orgasm ripped through you harder than the last one, your back arched practically screaming Colin’s name. Your orgasm triggered Colin’s own high releasing inside of you.

Colin rode out your blissful orgasms, both you breathless, bodies slick with sweat. Colin pulled out of you making you sigh at the loss of contact. He collapsed beside you on the bed his hand running down his face collecting himself.

“That was”- you paused for a moment trying to catch you breath, “bad?” Colin cringed thinking you absolutely hated what happened between you both. “The opposite it was amazing” you smiled placing a chaste kiss on his lips. you both still had a slight buzz from the alcohol you both consumed earlier.

A hum came from Colin as you kissed his lips, his eyes growing heavy. “You tired?” You asked setting yourself back down on your pillow. “You wore me out” Colin chuckled laying on his stomach, his head facing you. A yawn escaped your lips your eyes suddenly feeling heavy too. “I’m tired too” you giggled sleepily. Colin turned to lay on his side his arm around your bare waist, you nuzzled closer to him drifting off to sleep.

[xlunacloudiax]

Heart of two friends.

Description: Juan invites Y/n to his apartment to help her overcome artistblock. A special bond forming between the two friends finally blossoms into something more as they realise their feelings for each other.

About 6k words. Took me SO LONG to edit, and even longer to find courage to post. Please enjoy a slow but deep romance with Juan Ruiz. 🫶🏻

~~~

" So I was thinking... Maybe we could- " The door to Juan's apartment swings open and Y/n wanders in. Her thoughts are immediately replaced with surprise admiration. " Woah, nice place. I've already enough inspiration just by walking in here. "

Juan enters shortly after her and closes the door, silently locking it behind his back. He watches her soft hair lightly bounce across her back as she smiles contently at the room before her. Finally, he's got her alone with him. He's relieved he can spend some time with her after a busy week with Dr. Burke and the others, but he feels a pang of nervousness.

It's just them two. All alone. In his apartment.

" Yeah, it's okay I guess... Sorry I forgot to clean up the uh- " Juan apologizes. Perhaps he's just shy? He doesn't want to dissappointment Y/n in anyway.

" No it's fine, really. It's neater than my place in the mornings. " Y/n flashes a genuine smile that comforts Juan from his embarrassment. The bubbly nervous feeling in his stomach, which he only recently noticed, eases a bit. " Did you know that a person's emotions are first felt in gut before the brain registers it? " Y/n adds as if she could read his mind, it lightens the awkward mood a little.

Juan shakes his head and chuckles. He drops the keys into their usual spot and follows Y/n at a safe distance. " That's so random, but I didn't know that. "

For some odd reason he always feels calmer around her, so much that he worries little about the chupacabra's sudden appearances. The urge to transform seems almost completely surpressed and instead replaced by the frequent urge to be closer to Y/n.

The only present worry lurking in the back of his mind is Darcey. How will she react after hearing about Y/n's arrival at his apartment? Even if they're no longer dating for months now, she can sometimes be... obsessive with his personal life and friendships. He has to be careful around her. He doesn't want to make her feel any more insecure, but he still wishes she were less suspicious about him nowadays. Even after what happened between them, Juan still sees her as a friend.

" Hey, where's Darcey by the way? Isn't she here today? " Y/n's sudden questions break through his contemplation and he shakes his head. He was dreading those words.

" She's probably out with her friends. I don't know. " Juan chooses his words wisely. He doesn't want to think about Darcey right now. His mind flashes back to his last meeting with her, and the argument they had. He really wishes to forget about it. They've both decided to move on and it seems better that way. " We're not living together anymore. "

An awkward silence descends upon the room and Juan bites his lip, wondering whether he said too much or not enough. It's been half a year since he broke up with Darcey, but he never really talks about it. Y/n lightly pats his shoulder and the sudden touch sends electricity throughout his body. " Sorry. I didn't know she moved out. "

" No, no it's alright. That was more than a few months ago anyway. Things are better this way. "

" So it's just us then? " The words slip off Y/n's tongue and it makes Juan's heart skip a beat. His previous concerns are immediately erased. Odd, he shouldn't be feeling this way ... He hasn't known her for very long, yet it feels like it was meant to last a lifetime. His attraction towards Y/n is nothing new, but still seems ethereal. He's felt it resonate in his bones since the moment he approached her. An eager yearning to get to know her. Their fondness has grown throughout the past 2 months, and the feelings have become more familiar to handle with time. Yet they remain unbeknownst to Y/n.

Is it wrong to feel strongly towards a friend? It's not like this is a movie or anything.

" Yeah. Just us. " Juan releases a shaky breathe and shows her to his study. Y/n follows closely behind and he stops to allow her entry first.

Y/n walks around and observes the room. The surface of his desk was neatly scattered with sketches and portraits seated placidly on stands. A mirror and a large collection of expensive pencils and pens arranged in a holder next to a pile of drawings. A few shelves with books stood bythe side of the room. It had a comfortable lofty style showcasing all of Juan's sketch ideas, some finished and others work in progress. " Oh, this is lovely. It's like your inspiration domain. " Juan stands behind her in the doorway with a shy smile. " So is where you get all your great big ideas onto paper. Really nice. "

" Yes. " Juan agrees with a small hint of pride. " I'll be right back. " Dissapears into the main room for a brief moment. Y/n gazes thoughtfully and meticulously at each artwork, admiring the unique details that depict the artist's hard work, all the while thinking of how talented Juan is. He's worked hard to reach his success, and not many people recognise it enough. All the hours he's spent writing, planning, drawing, and all the hundreds of hours of practice. This room is a special place for him. A big black sketch book on the desk catches Y/n's attention. It lays closed, concealing whatever is inside it like a secret, taunting her. Something whispers in Y/n's mind to open it. _Surely this not invading his space, right?_ Her hand reaches out on its own, her curiousity too strong to resist.

She flips through a few pages, briefly examining the immaculate drawings of hands and eyes and different face shapes. Until she comes across a particular page that peaks her interest. A familiar face jumps out at her, the curves and tones so perfected it stands apart from the paper. Y/n stares at the drawing as it feels like it is staring back. Her heart squeezes in her chest and fills with an unfamiliar warmth once she recognises who it is.

It was a drawing of her.

Y/n feels tears prick the corners of her eyes as she considers ever line and little detail added to the small portrait. Nobody has ever cared to notice such detail about her before, let alone take the time to make an artwork of her. For the first time, as she gazes at the beautiful artwork made by Juan's hands, she realises just how deeply the emotions behind such an act could mean. And her heart is touched with an underlying hope.

Juan returns carrying a dining chair with ease, and places it down next to the desk chair. " Sorry, no autographs." He jokes and Y/n quickly turns the book cover with a small chuckle to swallow her sudden tears. She watches him intently, dark brunette curly strands of his hair fall infront of his eyes and spring up as he stands again with a sigh. " This is now your workstation. " He gently guides her to sit on the desk chair, curling his hands on her upper arms. The warm feeling of his touch lingers longer than it probably should, but it's quick to lift as soon as she sits down. The brief contat leaves a tingling spot on the skin underneath her sleeve.

Juan seats himself beside her on the dining chair.

" Oh- isn't this your chair? "

Juan smirks and leans forward closer to her face, his gaze meets hers, his shyness melting away. " The best way to learn from a teacher is to view the lesson through their eyes. " He shifts closer and extends his arm to grasp another large leather book on the desk, this time a navy blue cover. He opens it to reveal an album of portrait sketches in various perspectives, similar to the one Y/n had peaked into a few moments ago.

Juan carefully watches her face and smiles at her reaction to his work as they page through the book. Each unexpected compliment and question makes his heart flutter. " So, what's your technique? " Y/n finally asks and tears her eyes away from the portrait to gaze at him curiously. Juan feels warmth radiate inside him at her soft expression towards him, he almost doesn't hear her question clearly. " Can you show me? " It's like he has an apprentice. A very pretty apprentice.

" Alright. " He leans back to grab a specific pencil from his stationary shelf and sits closer to Y/n to demonstrate. She watches his movements attentively throughout the lesson, but barely asorbs the explanation. The sturdiness of his wrist as the pencil presses a line to a blank section of the page makes her knees feel weak for some reason. The veins lightly tracing his hands as he holds the slim object in a skilful manner. The strength shifting in his grip when he flicks his wrist in different directions. A few moments later, Juan pauses and swings the pencil towards Y/n's hand, resting it between her fingers the way he previously held it. " Is this comfortable for you? "

She focuses on the intense warmth of his hand gently placed on hers. Her mind almost short-circuits for a second. She nods. " Okay. " He whispers and slides closer, carefully stretching his arm around her shoulders and holding onto her hand with the other. She can feel his warm breath on the side of her face as he further explains the lesson, and the tickle of his curls against her forehead. Her heartrate beats like a drum as his firm hand steadily guides her smaller one across the page. His instructions are clear and concise. A faint musky scent enthralls her senses and her mind feels fuzzy. They are so close to each other now, faces merely inches apart. Y/n is barely able to keep focus, but she manages to capture the just of everything.

After completion, the intensifying warmth retreats along with Juan's hand. Y/n stares at her work feeling pleased.

" That went by like a breeze. "

Juan smirks playfully at her. " You're a faster learner that I thought. "

Y/n gasps decides to play along. " What's that supposed to mean? Your technique is easier than I thought. "

This time Juan gasps and places a hand over his heart. " I am offended. " He jokes and it earns a chuckle from Y/n. What a beautiful sound, he thinks to himself with a smile.

Juan abruptly stands up and heads for the main room. " You hungry? " He asks halfway to the kitchen. Y/n spins in the chair and watches him through the doorway.

" I guess so. What've you got? "

Juan, rummaging through the kitchen cupboard, pauses and looks up to face her. " Have you ever triednachos? "

Y/n in return snickers." Tried? I grew up with nachos. Though not the kind you're probably thinking of. "

" Oh? What kind then? " Juan frowns slightly in confusion but keeps his smile plastered on his lips. He wonders why he can't stop smiling around her? Juan picks up his desired ingredients alongside the chips on a tray. He places them on the kitchen island and quickly prepares the sauce. A moment later Y/n approaches and seats herself on a barstool in front of him. " Different chips? "

" Yes, a little unusual but very tasty. My mother's recipe. " She snatches a single chip from the preparation tray and crunches it. Juan props himself on his elbows and observes her thoughtfully as she explains the process of how her family used to make it.

" Interesting. I never thought you could use that. " Juan takes a chip, his gaze remaining attentive on her movements. She nods, bashfully, feeling his intense gaze. " But you know, the best part of the flavour is in the beans. " Suddenly an idea hits him, and he turns to fetch another topping. He returns with a little bowl of what appears to be sour cream, and places on the tray. The conversation continues. It is nice to finally have someone to talk to. Juan's normally used to being alone or being interrupted, but not with Y/n. " Did she add any spices? "

" Hm. Yes, and sometimes even nutritional yeast. But that tasted more like cheese. " Y/n replies with a glint of nostalgia in her eyes. " Actually, I remember the first time she she added sweet chilies. It was so good, it became one of our favourites. " She bites a chip covered in sour cream and is pleasantly surprised by the familiar spicy toppings. Juan, who's eyes have been carefully observing her facial expressions, gives a pleased smile upon noticing her delight.

" I thought you'd like this. You briefly mentioned it a few weeks ago. "

Y/n smiles appreciatively at the thought of his attentiveness. " You remembered that? "

" Of course. I pay attention to everything you say. " Juan takes a final chip before stepping around the counter. " That's how a spy works, isn't it? " Juan jokingly adds and takes the seat next to her.

" Oh, so you're a spy now? Ironic. I thought I was the only one. " Y/n decides to play along, speaking in a proud accent.

" Mmh, now that's a problem. Two spies spying on each other with a plate of nachos? "

Y/n chuckles at his statement. " And what's all the information you've collected so far? " Juan squints his eyes at her with a smirk, he leans forward until she can feel his warm breathe hit her face.

" Do you really want to know? "

She blinks innocently and smiles, daring to lean forward as well and resting her chin on her palm. The tension gradually building in the air between them. " I don't know. Is it confidential? " A deep hum resonates from Juan's chest and stands up again.

" Well, If I told you then ... there would be some consequences. " He opens the fridge and takes out two cans of some soft drink to show her. " Have you ever tried this? "

" No. You're giving me a lot of new things lately. " Including these feelings.

Juan passes the drink over the counter and their hands touch for a moment. It's like electricity flowing through the simple contact, a subtle but evident connection completing a circuit. There's a tug inside Juan's heart, like he wants to hold on to her. What is wrong with him, he wonders.

That's when he notices the thin, fresh, red lines draping across the tips of her delicate skin.

" Hey, what happened to your hand? " Juan asks concern in his voice. Y/n pauses and looks confused in response before realisation clicked in her mind.

" Oh. This? It's just cat scratches. " She giggles sweetly at the memory.

The internal tug in Juan's heart becomes nearly unbearable. His heartrate speeds up as temptation settles in for the simple desire. Maybe this will be okay? Unsure of the strange feelings developing inside of him, Juan takes ahold of Y/n's hand. His warm muscular fingers gently press along the peculiar lines. Y/n nearly flinches in surprise, her breath hitched in her throat as her heart skipped a beat. Her mind is overwhelms itself like a highway of thoughts as he continues to gently rub and trace the scars.

" I didn't know you had a cat? " He says in a soft tone, slightly deeper than before.

" Oh, well it's not exactly my cat... " Y/n begins to scramble her thoughts together. Juan listens attentively. " It's a stray. Her original owner was one of my neighbours, but the lady recently had an accident and has to live in a wheelchair for a while. I offered to take care of the cat until she recovers. She was very grateful for that... "

" Aw, that's sweet of you. "

Her eyes follow the movement of his fingers. Y/n notices the great difference in temperature between the both of them.

Of course, her mouth speaks before her mind. " You're so hot... "

" W- What? "

Heat instantly rises to Y/n's cheeks in realisation of her own words and she's overwhelmed by embarrassment. " Oh no- I mean, temperature-wise. " What is wrong with me? Y/n cringes at herself for the misunderstanding.

" Oh.. " Juan chuckles, understanding it was meant differently. His eyes flicker to hers and the obvious blush dusting her cheeks. What a pretty colour on her, I wonder what else will make her blush... Juan wonders why he is thinking this all of a sudden? But instead he continues to rub her hands, focusing on the fading cat scratches as a distraction. He can't deny it, he just wants to feel her skin for as long as possible.

Unfortunately their time spent together is cut short. " I have to go. It's getting late. Thank you for inviting me over. " Y/n's soft voice interrupts and Juan slowly feels a pang of panic arise as she retracts her hands and stands up.

" Wait! Before you go... " Juan calls after her fleeting form and he calms a bit when she stops and turns to him. She needs to stay longer. I can't let her go. Please not yet. I don't want that feeling to return... He clenches his fists and gathers whatever excuse be can think of to keep her there. His mouth gapes like a fish but words don't cooperate. So instead he settles for the next best idea.

Juan dissapears into the study for a moment, and returns with another magazine-sized book. He holds it out to Y/n. She takes it from his hands with slight interest. Juan switches on the hanging lights above the counter to assist her eyesight, ones that Y/n notes are quite stylish.

" What's this? " She asks curiously.

Y/n opens the book and reads the first page, only to notice it contains inked pictures. Her eyes widen in realisation and Juan smiles as he watches her excitement grow. " Oh my goodness... " Y/n flips to the next page. " This is one of your comics! But it's brand new? " Her fingers glide over the intricate black lines. She looks up at him with uncertainty.

" It's all yours. "

" Are you serious?! " Y/n's eyes light up and she hugs him. Juan feels an odd warmth grow inside him at her reaction and he encircles his arms around her. Her body fit right into his arms, almost perfectly like a puzzle. Like it was meant to be. Suddenly the air feels thicker again.

" I thought it'd be better if you had more examples to learn from, you know? "

" No ways... Thank you so much. " As she thanks him , he takes the time to relish in her scent.

That flips a switch.

A deep urge inside him silently begs not to let her go. Make her somehow stay in his arms. But he has no choice. He forces himself to detach from her dainty frame as she steps away. His chest aches inside as he attempts to ignore the desperate cries for her touch. It was almost so torturing that his hands began to shake under his balled fists.

" You're so talented, you know? I wish my stories could be visualised. But I don't have the time. "

There it is. Another compliment gracefully falls from her lips. Juan's chest overflows with the familiar warmth, one that often infiltrates his heart whenever Y/n is close by, he realises. It's a newly uncovered feeling that he hasn't even felt towards anyone before.

Perhaps she is a really special friend? He used to think, but now, he's not so sure anymore. Now, all he knows is that he needs to bring Y/n closer.

" Don't worry. I know you will some day. You just have to keep motivating yourself. Your story is good. It's you. That's what makes it so special... " Juan's eyes travel down from her glossy eyes, to her pouting pink lips, her revealing neck, and then to her arms. He has a strong urge to comfort her physically to, but he's afraid of making her uncomfortable, so instead he reassures her with his words. His opportunity to hug her has already passed. It's like a lump of stone sitting in the back of his throat, he struggles to gulp it down as his mind threatens to lose her if he doesn't do something more.

Y/n stares at him, feeling encouraged by his honest words. She smiles sweetly. " Thanks Juan. "

His eyes couldn't help but stare at her graceful figure, and the unique features of her face. Her beautiful hair that shines soft like silk in the lighting above. Her avoiding eyes hooded with naturally long lashes. They are the windows to her emotions, but can't express just how beautiful she is on the inside. He thought to himself. If only he could tell her... He could write an entire book about her and call it 'Y/n's heart of gold, Juan's heart of her'. He doesn't care how cheesy that might sound, that's how he feels around her.

Again he feels an inner tug, pulling him forward as a need to be closer to her. His increase in heartrate, beating like a drum against his ribcage. Is it the Chupacabra wanting to come out? He worries, but can't suppress the temptation to caress her cheek. It's like a different side of him is threatening to overtake. A build up of emotion about to spill like a cup filling with water till it reaches the brim.

That's it. He gave in.

As Y/n turns towards the door, Juan's arms reach out and prevent her from exiting. Her hand that lands on the doorknob is captured by a firm grip, and her fingers are laced with the man's strong ones. Juan's other hand raises itself to gently cup her cheek. She looks confusedly at him as a blush creeps onto her skin under the touch of his warmth. His face inches closer to her own, his dazed eyes boring into her with an intense gaze of longing. Y/n is left utterly speechless, except for the few words that managed to escape her lips.

" Juan? What are you doing? "

Juan remians silent, in thought. He stares endearingly at her. His eyes are almost glossy as he slides a strand of hair out of her face. Now he can see her beautiful eyes more clearly He doesn't understand why he is so enthralled by her, but maybe it was just her? Maybe it doesn't matter either. Words of apology linger on the tip of his tongue and after a while he doesn't hold some of them back. " I'm sorry, I can't... resist you... "

The eager longing inside of him overrides his senses and he pulls her towards him. His lips attack her soft ones and he unintentionally roughly shoves her against the dark wooden door. It was so sweet, so comforting, so right. His body moulds into hers as the satisfaction of his craving is met. His craving for her touch. Her comfort. Her understanding despite not yet knowing the truth about his alter ego.

How he stalked her that one night in his Chupacabra form just to be sure she arrived home safe. How he stopped that guy at the restaurant that tried to hurt her. How he was the one who defended her that night Dr. Burke's house was attacked. How he cared so much for her and admired her kindness and empathy for the people around her, despite not being able to express herself well. How he yearns for her to feel the same towards him. She was so pure in his eyes. Like an angel he thought he never deserved to meet. Oh, how he wishes he could tell her all this. How he truly feels about her.

The kiss doesn't stop. All the deepest unspoken emotions between the two flood into the each other like a dam wall bursting into a tumbling waterfall. It is passionate, other people would say, but in the hearts of the two it means much more than anyone can fathom.

In Y/n's mind, she knows this is dangerous. Being alone with a guy so dear and allowing him to kiss her? Logically, it was just a recipe of risks. She felt so uncertain, yet her heart felt so at home. But Juan wasn't just any guy, and this wasn't just a kiss. This is the one her heart has long yearned for to find, at last encased by his loving arms. Two fates destined to be entangled. The person she has prayed to meet since she was first able to grasp the meaning of love. The warmth of his lips traverse her her jawline, a sensation her body has long been seeking in her subconscious. She doesn't know why she isn't feeling threatened. Normally a slight touch attempted by a man would make her skin crawl in disgust or uncomfortability. Perhaps this is just the right man touching her, and her body knows it. Feel down, she knows this feels right somehow.

But her morals kick in and hesitation rises in the middle of the sweet sensation. She still needs to be careful not to let it go too far, no matter how good it feels.

She places her free hand that isn't holding the comic book firmly on Juan's chest, lightly pushing him away. Unfortunately he is just too strong for her and keeps in place. The longer she stands cornered by him the more temptation eases its way to give in.

No. She recollects her stance. I can't stay... It's too risky. What if he doesn't feel the same way?

Juan, sensing her hesitation stops and whispers words of reassurance as he leans into her neck. " Hey, are you okay...? I won't do anything you don't want me to. " For a moment she is comforted but her worry remains and battles with the intense feeling of bliss and the relaxation of her muscles in his hold. Her silence makes Juan retreat a little and scan her face for any sign of discomfort. Fearing that he's crossed a line. " I'm sorry... Please, just stay a little longer. We don't have to- " Y/n's voice is choked by uncertainty, but she shakes her head.

She can feel his warm breath lingering over her neck as he waits patiently for her answer, his lean muscular arms holding her dainty ones and she notices one of his thumbs rubbing along the top of her hand in a comforting manner. Their position against the door in such close proximity, the heat radiating off his body envelopes her like a blanket. Realising the strength he has over her in this moment is frightening, yet he remains gentle with her. Even asking consent to continue kissing her. " Will it be okay if I stay? " It's almost impossible to resist. Temptation is right at her doorstep and perhaps that isn't such a bad thing. Such a stupid thought to have in a situation where her body has but a single threatened cell aching to leave.

That is all it takes for Juan to hoist her up into his arms, her legs crossing over behind his back for support. She yelps at the sudden action until she realises where he's taking her. Her voice returns to her, almost shaky and out of breath from the continuous kisses. " Woah, I don't know if I'm ready for this- "

He tosses her onto his bed. Then he proceeds in removing his jacket. Y/n's heart skips a beat and she wonders where this would lead to.

Discarding the piece of clothing on the floor he climbs on top of her. Y/n stares wide eyed, unsure of what to expect. Slightly fearful but also excited. This experience is all too new for her. She just lays still and awaits whatever he plans to do. Her heart feels like it is dancing in her chest. Is he going to...?

Juan stares at her with dazed eyes, trapped in his arms beneath him. She looks as innocent as a deer in his eyes. Unfortunately, he's hunted such an animal before... but he'd never dream of doing such a thing to her. She is too precious. And he hopes the beast inside him agrees. He could see that Y/n trusts him. The last thing he wants to do is break that trust.

" You look so frightened. Have you never been kissed before? " Juan asks while caressing her fallen strands of hair out of her face to

" Not by you. "

He smiles again. He presses his lips onto hers again, this time softer and slower. He travels down to her neck and lightly sucks it between kisses. Her shoulders gradually relax, enjoying the tingly sensation.

Y/n reaches up to his curly hair and runs her fingers through the tousled strands. That seems to encourage Juan as he shifts his towering position over her into a tight but gentle embrace. Once again she is encircled by the comfort and safety of his strong arms respectfully in their place around her waist and back. Thumbs massaging at her sides and sending butterflies fluttering throughout her tummy. Juan quietly and breathlessly chants her name between kisses from her lips slowly traveling her neck, from the back of her ear down to her soft and sensitive shoulders. During this moment, this loving gesture, Y/n longs to know for certain how he truly feels.

After a while Juan lays himself next to her and keeps his arms draped over her smaller frame. Panting and breathless, the tension between them slowly dissapates but the thickness in the air tugging in his chest remains. His head nuzzles her neck affectionately, and he sighs at peace. Y/n gazes at him lovingly, with a mix of bewilderment and pensive. She never expected to experience love this way... And especially not from her dear friend Juan. That seemed no further than a dream to her.

She needs to clarify with him soon. She needs to know for sure.

" Juan "

Y/n whispers breathlessly.

" Is that all you're going to do? "

Juan chuckles at the unexpected question. The sound vibrates throughout her body. It feels so calming and yet contains so much strength. Her knees feel weak despite currently laying down. " What do you mean? Do you want me to do more? " He gives her a teasing glare.

Y/n's face flushes. She avoids the look on Juan's face as it just made her blush even more. Turning over to the other side, she gazes out the window to recollect her thoughts as her heart rate gradually relaxes. Juan watches her intently and holds her hand, lacing their fingers.

" I told you, I won't do anything you don't want me to, remember? " Juan searches her eyes and senses that same hesitation from earlier.

Y/n shifts under his embrace to face him, her gaze now serious from contemplation. " Juan. Tell me. Was this just a 'makeout'? "

Juan smiles at her straightforwardness. " I guess you can call it that, yeah? " He lightly caresses her forehead and presses a chaste kiss on the side.

" I mean, did it... mean anything more to you? " Y/n musters up the courage to ask, her stomach twists in anxiousness of his rejection.

Juan meets her gaze affectionately, searching her eyes again. Something is blooming between them it goes much deeper than the physical.

Juan's voice breaks the silence. " I'm still trying to figure things out between us but... it did, to me atleast. " Juan props himself up on one arm. The rest of the words hang in Juan's thoat and he all he can do is gape like a fish. He looks towards Y/n expectantly, scanning her soft features for the response they're both searching for. Her beautiful eyes bore into his and entrance him with their eager filled emotions. Needless anything to say, he understands what she means, and his hope that she feels it too has been fulfilled. The connection between them, is mutual.

Y/n forms a smile of pure bliss upon realisation and snuggles into his side. " If this is a dream please don't wake me up. "

Juan chuckles and she can feel it resonate throughout his chest like a deep rumble. She feels elated, as if they're lying together in the middle of a grassy field on a warm summer afternoon. The rise and fall of Juan's chest comforts her thoughts and she feels like an invisible weight has been lifted off her shoulders. He feels the same as he gently cradles her in his arms. The silence providing a peaceful atmosphere between them.

Y/n's thoughts remind her of the drawing she found earlier and her heart rate picks up pace again. Should I tell him? I might as well. She wonders where it will lead to but she doesn't waste time and gathers her words with much effort.

" I found your drawing. "

Juan leans back to gaze down at her in mild confusion. " Which one do you mean, love? "

Y/n's heart flutters at the nickname he gives her and looks up to meet his eyes boldly. " The one you made... of me. "

In an instant of realisation, Juan's cheeks heat up to a pinkish shade. He is at a loss for words. " H-How did you..? " His breathe hitches in his throat and causes him to stutter. Now he looks embarrassed and tears his gaze away from her with much shyness. Y/n reassures him by gently placing her hand on his face.

" It's beautiful. " She replies with such genuine sweetness in her voice, Juan's heart could melt right on the spot. Y/n can feel the heat radiating off him by now and he attempts to hide himself in her palm. But he quickly turns the tables by pressing sloppy kisses into her hand. A hearty laugh erupts from Y/n's lips.

" What happened to your shyness all of a sudden? " She asks in between giggles. Juan laughs along with her, thinking what a beautiful sound it is to hear her laugh. He promises himself to make her smile that way every chance he gets.

" Shyness? I'm not shy! " He attempts to defend himself but his uncontainable smile gives it away. " It's just- really hard to talk to a pretty girl like you. "

Y/n pauses and looks up at him teasingly in response to his flirtatious compliment. " Oh, so you're like this with every pretty girl then? " Juan's smile fades a little and his heart clenches at the thought. He gazes at her earnestly with undoubtedly loving eyes.

" No. Only you. " He cups her face in his hand and presses their foreheads together.

Y/n's laughing eases and her heart fills with warmth. Her usually avoiding eyes now wonder up to his own without hesitation, capturing hers with his intensity.

It is the first time they've made such eye contact in a while. Where sparks seem to fly, now the glimmer they share is like a dancing flame.

Both their hearts skip a beat. To Y/n if feels like her entire body is frozen in place under his endearing gaze. To Juan it feels like someone has gifted him the most precious jewel in the world. Her beautiful eyes who's always actively ignoring every attempt of eye contact, has trusted him enough to rest upon his own with such adoration. It's like a romance in a comic book, except this time it's real. They can reach out and they can feel each other. They can know each other. And they can be with each other despite all odds. Never would Juan have thought he'd be so genuinely excited over making eye contact with someone before. He couldn't tear his gaze away even if the world were to end that very second. This is too special of a moment to break. To meet your lover's eyes and know exactly what they're thinking, as if peering through a glass window into a person's soul, and seeing that they reciprocate.

" Your pupils are dilating. "

" What? " Juan chuckles at Y/n's random statement. She tends to do that often. Lighten the mood. " Where did that come from? "

" Oh, I read something about it. A person's pupils dilate whenever they look at someone the love or hate. "

" Well in that case... " Juan leans down to her ear and lightly kisses the earlobe. " That probably answers both our questions again. No? " The last words he whispers in Spanish and Y/n can feel the tension between them slowly rebuilding. She steadily holds his gaze and her heart leaps upon hearing his next words that reflect her own.

" Te amo..."

I'm crying inside. If you made it through this... 🥹 Thank you.

(Btw, the picture above is from a sunset in my neighborhood after it rained a while ago.)

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself-Story (18+)

CW: addiction

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Start

Transcript ⬇️

Pic 1:

Since my failed surprise to him, Daniel hasn’t been well. Maybe I overreacted a bit that night when he came home late? Idk?… After all, he apologized to me and regretted it. I shouldn’t have rejected him and compared him to Mr B. What I didn’t do, but I think D. got me wrong.

Pic 2:

Even Lucky was sad. I cried in the bedroom and worried about Daniel, who had been lying on the couch for almost two days. He just didn’t want to talk to me? I wasn’t sure? I felt like he didn’t want me around him, so I just played Sims all day yesterday. And you know, I’ve been writing with Nico, but I still didn’t know it was him!!! I thought Nico was a woman who was chatting with me about Sims. His Origin ID was “EllaSheSims…” But since yesterday I knew that Nico is a 22 year old guy and not a woman/girl, who’s playing sims. That username he used, belonged to his current girlfriend/fiancé.

I asked him why he plays Sims? I thought it was…. weird? He told me that his ex gf loved Sims. They broke up, he said. But he still missed her sm. He bought her the base game and some packs ,so she could play Sims on his pc and bla bla bla… He told me OUR story, you know? But I didn’t get it!!! Instead, I felt sorry for him because he missed his ex. (me)

Pic 3:

I told Nico what’s going on with Daniel and that I was really sad & worried about him. I know I told a stranger my probs. But…. he also told me about his ex, so I felt like I could talk to him about Daniel. Nico advised me to talk to Daniel, he said Daniel needed me now. Actually, that was totally sweet of Nico in retrospect. He wanted to help me make it work between Daniel and me, even though….. he missed me.

Back to Daniel… I think that’s when D. thought about leaving. He felt he had lost control of his addiction and wanted to prevent me from relapsing. But it was all my fault! I wanted us to do it again a few days ago because of this shit with Mr B. and now Daniel may have relapsed. I HAD TO do something!! I somehow misjudged the whole situation with D. He has been constantly helping me and he seemed so determined to do everything right. I had the feeling he was fine. But… Daniel is kind of sensitive, like me. Being constantly rejected by me, because of my panic attacks made him totally insecure, especially our last dispute. Anyway, it was time for me to get out of hiding and help him!!

Pic 4:

Me: I’m so sorry D. for what I said yesterday to you. But I didn’t mean it bad. I was disappointed, you know? Ily sm and wanted to make up for what we missed. However, tell me, what’s up with you? I’m here for you and you don’t have to feel bad about anything or blame yourself. You helped me sm, D.! Now I’m gonna help you. Daniel: You can’t help me, you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you try. Me: I don’t care!I will always love you and stay with you whether you stay clean or not. I’ll be strong for you and I’ll help you! Honestly. I’m not like I was in the summer, you changed me and you showed me that I can live without that fucking drug. I just need you. And…… you me. Daniel: Everything goes wrong, I failed….. You have to learn to cope without me & I, without you. Otherwise, we’ll never really make it.

Pic 5:

Me: It doesn’t matter, we’re married! Why would you or I….. leave? I’ll stay with you forever. I can’t live without you! Is that what you want Daniel: No…….. Still, I’m not good for you. I screwed up and without me, you would never have been in danger three months ago. All this shit would have been spared you….

Pic 6:

Me: I was so happy when you asked me to marry you. It doesn’t matter what happened to us. Without you, I wouldn’t have survived last summer or last year in general. I was totally out of control!! I was busy destroying myself completely! Nothing and nobody could stop me, except you. And when you moved with me here, to start a new chapter together, I was really happy, like never before. Finding this place for the two of us was…. the best surprise ever!! I love it here with you and I don’t give a shit about anything else. But now you have to get up D.! I’m gonna help you. Or tell me what to do for you?

Pic 7:

I went to buy Daniel something to eat, but getting groceries wasn’t the only thing on my to do list. I had to get a pregnancy test. I still haven’t told D. I was overdue. On our honeymoon I only had my period for 2 days, but I didn’t think anything of it. And this month…. maybe my period was just late? After all, my cycle in recent months has been constantly irregular because of what happened in the summer. We didn’t really use contraception. I gave up on this topic tbh and since summer I kept feeling that I could not have kids.

Though I was terrified to have a baby, I wished it deep in my heart.

Pic 8:

I thought sex was the one thing he wanted or demanded most from me because we couldn’t do it for weeks. But I guess, I was wrong again. He just needed me.

Pic 9:

Um… how am I supposed to sleep now? I don’t know what’s so great about falling asleep on another person? A pillow is much more comfortable. But well , maybe that’s just me. However, as long as he got better, that’s all I wanted.

I just looked at him and wished he never had to be sad about me or anything….. And yet in 3 weeks this chapter of my life ends here for me. Not really and not forever, but still. Whether that was good or not, I can answer today, 9 years later. I would say, NO! But then I would never have had my son and met him, so it must have happened!!!

Previous / Next

[sakurasfallingstar]

ShiSaku Week: Day 2

"Sakura, for once in your dawn life, be honest with yourself," Shisui pleaded, as his hands held his grasp around her shoulders.

"Shisui please-"

She didn't even get to finish what se was going to say.

She beautiful green eyes teared as she looked into his onyx ones. There was so much love. So much longing that his eyes held, and Sakura, despite wanting to return his affection, couldn't.

"You should be honest with yourself, admit it. Admit that you love me, that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. Please, just say it, and I promise, can can take you away from here. I would take us to where the on one can keep us away from eachother. Sakura, please... I love you," he confessed, as he brought her into his embrace; hiding his face within three crook of her neck.

Sakura at this point was in tears. She wanted nothing more than to be with Shisui. She really did, but she was already betrothed.

As it would turn out, her parents had already promised her to a close friend's son somewhere in the sand village when she was born. Apparently, they had some well established connections throughout elemental nations, and helped the Haruno's business take off.

She and her suitor haven't spoken, and for 18 yeats she knew nothing of it. The news hit her like a truck. At that time, she had already been dating Shisui for 3 years. With her parents fully aware of it.

Apparently, they had hoped that with time, her suitor would want to break off they engagement. However, after getting a letter a month before her 18th birthday stating the opposite. It even stated that if the marriage did not go through, then their business would be in danger.

Thus, they were forced to deliver bad news.

The couple's breakup was one that left untreated wounds within their hearts.

It was worse, since Sakura never told Shisui why she wanted to breakup. They had met up, and the bomb was dropped. She gave no explanation. She simply said, "Let's break up," in the most quietest voice he's ever heard from her.

There was a silent pause. Shisui, felt like the world was caving in on him. He went through his memories trying to find any reason as to why she'd want to split.

It was when she started to leave did he break out of his spell.

Catching her wrist, he said, "Sakura please talk to me. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me. If it was something I did, I promise I won't  do it again. However, I'd need to know what it was so I don't do it."

Sakura, was silent. Her pink hid her face, as she stared at the concrete floor. She didn't want him to see the tears beginning form. The moment he'd see she was about to cry would only make this whole situation worse.

Shisui would bring her close. He'd holder hold her and tell her to let it out. Then he'd get her to talk, and possibly commit murder.

She didn't want that last bit for him.

Rather than letting any of that happen, Sakura broke free from his grasp.

That was two weeks ago.

Had it not been for her two best loudmouth, drunk, blonde friends and his cousin, sasuke; Shisui would have not have any clue into her predicament. In fact he'd still be bar hopping and taking on dangerous missions as to cope with the heartache.

Now this is where they are.

Sakura standing on top of the Hokage monument, in the arms of the man she loves wholeheartedly. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, but she also didn't want her parents' business to be destroyed because of her selfishness.

It was because of that business that she was able to go to the academy, that she was able to have weapons,  clothes, food, and a home.

Sure, there were times when either or both parents were gon for days on end while she stayed behind, but she knew the reasons as to why they had to do it.

Pulling away, Sakura brought her hand up to carrass his face. She wanted to burn his face into her memory. From the faint beauty mark that hid on his right eyelid, just below the brow, to the way his eyes softened when they met her's.

"Shisui, they'd still manage to find us. Besides, it is my duty to marry that man," she said, with a heartbroken smile.

"Sakura-"

"I love you Shisui. If I could marry you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My only hope is to find you in our next life, and pray that we have far better chance of being together."

"In every lifetime,  universe, dimension, or world, I will find you; and I will always find a way to be with you. This I promise you, Sakura Haruno,' he promised before pressing his lips against the purple diamond on her forehead.

@shisakuweek

[angelofdarknessss]

Beautiful Sinner

Chapter 1: Why? Previous Parts: Prologue 1/2 , Prologue 2/2

Next Part: not here yet! Word Count: 3,426 Main Pairing: Toko Fukawa x gen!neutral reader Summary: Things seem to get more and more strange Author note: I meant to post this a day after I posted this chapter on ao3 but I forgot...hahaha SORRY. also happy late new year againn

The words echoed in your head like an empty room.

“You must kill someone if you want to leave” …..You couldn’t talk. There was nothing that needed to be said. In fact, there was nothing said for a few minutes, the only thing that spoke were everyone’s eyes. Just looking into them, you could almost hear “…Are they going to try to kill me?”

The air felt so heavy, so thick you could cut it with a knife. But as thick as the air felt… a sharp voice was able to pierce right through it. It belonged to that lavender haired girl…Kyoko.

“So? What are you going to do now? Just stand around glaring at each other?”

Her pointed comment was directed at everyone in the room. It seemingly helped everyone pull them back into reality.

Taka perked up at this. “R-Right... She's right!... Sometimes, even if you're nervous or afraid, you just have to step forward!” He said confidently, though It looked like he was about to cry. “To forget such a simple fact... I can't forgive myself. I'm so ashamed! Please, someone hit me! I can't forgive myself! Somebody hit me! Punish me!”

Mondo grunts in response. “Jesus. If you have time to yell about it, you have time to DO something about it.”

“Perhaps, but...what is the mission, exactly?” Hifumi whimpers. “Idiot! To look for a way out, duh!” Leon responded.

“And we totally need to find out whoever was controlling that stupid bear and beat the hell out of 'em.” Junko angrily stated.

“...B-But before we do all that, maybe we should look at the handbook... It's probably best to check out the school regulations Monokuma mentioned before doing anything else.” Chihiro said. She was right about that…Mondo was almost killed a few minutes ago because he unknowingly broke one of the rules.

“Ah…that’s right… we should probably take a look at that now…I don’t want to get blown up.” You said as you glanced over at Mondo.

Junko sighed in response. “Fine. Then let's hurry up and check out the stupid rules already.”

You turned on your e-Handbook, the first thing that appeared was your name. From the main menu that popped up, you selected the School Regulations icon. An itemized list appears on-screen, it was the rules being imposed on us.

Students may reside only within the school. Leaving campus is an unacceptable use of time.

"Nighttime" is from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Some areas are off-limits at night, so please exercise caution.

Sleeping anywhere other than the dormitory will be seen as sleeping in class and punished accordingly.

With minimal restrictions, you are free to explore Hope's Peak Academy at your discretion.

Violence against Headmaster Monokuma is strictly prohibited, as is destruction of surveillance cameras.

Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.

Additional school regulations may be added as necessary.

You were starting to feel nervous again, you lifted your head from the screen and saw the same stormy expression on the other’s faces…including Makoto.

“This… this is…I don’t…what….” You started to stutter. You just couldn’t seem to gather your words right now. Your words were interrupted by a piercing yell coming from Mondo. “This is bullshit! What the hell kinda rules are these!? I'm not gonna let them control ME!”

Celeste giggled into her hand. “Well then, why don't you wander around the school without a care in the world and see what happens? Personally, I would love to see what happens when someone breaks one of the rules.”

“But if he got punished like what we saw before, I don't think there'd be a respawn waiting for him...” Hifumi nervously said. Mondo was silent for a few seconds.

“…..”

“I... Ever since I was a kid, I grew up with my older brother pounding this into my head... When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it, even if it kills him.”

“…So what?” Junko crosses her arms. “I've made a ton of promises that I still have to keep, that's "so what"! Mondo clenches his fist in anger. “So I can't afford to die in here!”

Celeste toys with hair as she looks away from him, looking uninterested. “None of that made much sense to me, but you are saying you will follow the regulations, is that it?” Mondo looks stunned for a second before scratching the back of his head slightly embarrassed. “Huh? Oh, well...yeah, I guess you're right.”

“Hey, um...I have a question. For regulation number six...what do you think it means exactly?” Sayaka softly spoke up. That rule she was referring to was… “Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.”

“You're talking about the second half, right? Where it says, "unless they are discovered"? I was wondering about that myself.” Makoto said. “I was wondering about that one too…what do you think it means?” You followed up.

Byakuya answered for us. “It's saying that if you want to graduate, you have to kill someone without anyone finding out it was you.” Toko shivered. “B-But why...? Why do we h-have to do that?”

“I don't see any reason to worry about it. Just worry about following the rules as they've been explained to us.” He crosses his arms. “Frankly, I don't want to hear anything from someone who waits for others to decide what to do for them.”

“D-Don't jab at me...” She responds while blushing lightly. You couldn’t tell if she was happy or upset over that comment.

Aoi confidently clenches her fists. “Now that we know the rules, let's start exploring the school!”

Ex…exploring?..... right now?..to be honest you were too shaken up STILL about everything that just happened. You don’t understand how this can fuel anyone to do anything. That and… you were worried about exploring this massive school possibly alone knowing that there could be someone lurking… just waiting to kill you. You weren’t gonna go down without a fight for sure but…its still horrifying to think about.

Both Leo and Taka agreed. “True. We need to find out where exactly we are. Is there any way out? What about food and supplies? There are tons of questions we need to answer!”

“Damn straight! Okay, then let's all start looking around!” Leon replied

“...I'll be going alone.” Byakuya states flatly. “What!? Why? That's a pretty stupid idea, don't you think?” Junko criticizes him.

“Someone here might already have started thinking about murdering one of us. Are you saying we should stand around with them in our midst and make it that much easier for them?”

“W-Wait, hold on a second. That would never—!”

Byakuya cuts off Sayaka almost immediately, following with a stern, serious expression painted on his face. “Don't bother saying it couldn't happen. You can't deny the possibility. That's why you all seized up with fear when that graduation rule was made clear to you.” He cockily smiles. “Am I wrong?”

“B-But......”

“So, I'm simply acting in accordance with what I think is best for me.” You scoffed in annoyance. What’s this guy’s problem.

Before you could comment on his responses to Sayaka, Mondo steps in very heated. “Hold on! Like hell I'm gonna let you run off and do whatever you want!”

“Out of my way, plankton.”

“Wh--!? The fuck's that supposed to mean!?”

“One tiny bit of plankton, drifting across the sea. So minuscule, so insignificant, they couldn't possibly have any kind of influence on the boundless ocean.” This severely angered Mondo. Somebody was definitely about to get beaten up.. “I'm gonna kick your ass!”

“S-Stop it! We shouldn't fight!” Makoto spoke up. However, this was a bad move on his end.

Mondo turned to look at him, his anger still boiling inside him. “The fuck you just say? You some kinda goody-goody little bitch?” You stepped in front of Makoto. “H-Hold on Mondo! Relax!” You attempted to de-escalate the situation. Instead Mondo shoved you on the ground away from Makoto, you landed on your arm. “Get outta my way!”

“Ugh!—" A groan escaped your mouth. Before Makoto could acknowledge you, Mondo was already getting closer to him. His face was red hot and his hand was clenched so hard you could see his fist turning white. “Who do you think you are, talkin' to me like that? You think you're my fuckin' dad or something!?”

“N-No, I wasn't--!”

“Fuck you!”

*WHAM*

Makoto’s body fell straight onto the ground. It was like something straight out of a comic book, Mondo punched Makoto so fast you bet he didn’t even see it coming. One second he was standing there perfectly conscious the next second you saw him unconscious on the ground.

“MAKOTO!” Both you and Sayaka screamed.

Everyone else was in shock for a moment before ultimately rushing coming to check on him…by everyone else you mean everyone besides Byakuya, Kyoko, Celeste, Toko and.. Mondo. You rushed by his side and started to shake Makoto somewhat gently. “Makoto?! Are you okay?”

“Ah! Y/N d-don’t shake him!” Sayaka stuttered out as she kneeled next to you. “Oh my! This is becoming quite interesting.” Celeste giggled into her hand in amusement.

“O-Oh no! Makoto! can you hear me?!” Taka frantically yelled.

“Wh-wh-what just happened?!” Yasuhiro yelled.

Junko annoyingly scoffed. “Weren’t you paying any attention? Mondo just punched him! We haven’t even left the gym yet we’re like already messing up!”

“Get off my ass I didn’t punch him THAT hard.” Mondo was still visibly angry but was slowly calming himself down. He glanced over at Makoto a few times, showing no other visible reaction to him.

Now it was your turn to get angry. “What do you mean not that hard? He’s not moving!”

“It’s not my fault he’s a weak little punk!” He responds defensively.

“D-do you think h-he’s dead...?” Toko stuttered. Before you could respond Kyoko came near Makoto and placed her index and long finger gently on his carotid artery, checking for a pulse. Luckily, he was in fact not dead.

“No. He’s alive, just unconscious.” She stated plainly. You let out a sigh of relief. “Ohh.. thank god..” Sayaka was put at ease as well. “Thank goodness….”

Hifumi anxiously glances at Makoto. “So.. uh… what do we do about him now that we know he’s—” right before he could finish his sentence, Monokuma popped up without any warning.

“Phuhuhu!~”

“Kyaaaaah!” Toko screamed.

 “That was so fun to watch! You guys haven’t even made it to your dorms, yet you’ve already started to slaughter each other!” He laughed into his paws maniacally.

“Slaughter?! He’s not dead!... why are you even here?!” You yell at him. “That’s how it always starts! Sooner or later, you’ll be towering over his dead, soulless body. As the innocent or.. who knows! Maybe the murderer! Those tools you have are pretttyyy sharp and pointy! Can those scissors cut skin?” He teases.

“For the last time these tools are for HAIR—!”

“Anywho… I’d love to keep tormenting my lovely students but!...” He waddles over to Makoto. “I’ll have to steal your little friend here!” You and Sayaka protectively grab Makoto’s shoulders, pulling him towards you both. “No! You’re not taking him anywhere!”

“Y-yeah!...” She agrees. “Now now kids! Not too aggressive! Remember, you can’t touch me otherwiseeee…. You’ll be DEAD!” He shouted towards the end of his sentence. “Besides, I’m not going to kill him. That’s your guy’s job. I’m just going to safely put him in his own dorm, so when he wakes up, he can join you. Can’t have you guys be focused on him when there’s much more interesting things for you guys to explore!”

“But…how can we?!—” Kyoko cut you off. “Step away from him, Y/N. You too Sayaka.” Her stern voice made you both flinch. Sayaka nervously looked at Kyoko. “B-but…”

“Now, both of you move.” Sakura sternly said.

“………….”

“…………”

You both hesitantly moved away from Makoto’s unconscious body, allowing Monokuma to come back and carry him. He crawled under his back and lifted him up slowly, it looked like he was struggling as his arms were trembling, but he still somehow kept his composure with that same creepy smile. “Ah.. you worried I’m going to hurt your little boyfriend? *huff*.. don’t worry, I would never hurt my students!...for no reason that is.” And with that Monokuma ‘carried’ him out of the gym and to his assigned dorm.

You continued to sit there kneeling on the floor as you stared at double doors, slowly closing. Leaving everyone in a state of silence for a few moments. That is until that one individual spoke up again.

“Anywho… I’ll be leaving. Try not to get yourselves killed.” Byakuya stated flatly before beginning to walk towards the double doors. “W-Wait you’re still leaving?... even after what you just caused?!” Aoi called out. “I haven’t done anything. That idiot has only himself to blame.”

“You—!” You angrily get up from the floor, Sayaka watches you hesitantly as she got up alongside you, putting a hand on your shoulder to lightly reassure you. “This is your fault! What do you get out of provoking people huh?!” He spares you no glance, not even an acknowledgement of your existence. It’s like you don’t exist to him.

“Goodbye.” He says before finally leaving. Another person leaving your group. “...ugh..”

Sayaka rubs your shoulder gently. “hey... are you okay?”

“…..Uh.. yeah I’m fine… I think.” You responded while you stared at the doors. She took notice of this. “Don’t worry about Makoto, I’m sure he’s gonna be okay..!” Aoi some-what confidently states.

“But—! What about Monokuma?” You stammered. “If Monokuma’s intention was to hurt him, he would’ve done so already. Not only that, but we’d already be dead.” Kyoko said.

She was right but… this didn’t stop you from worrying about him. Especially considering the situation you were in now. “Yeah… yeah she’s right!” Taka perked up. “We’re still alive and well so that should mean something!”

“Yeah m-maybe for now…t-there’s no telling what that bear is doing to that idiot… probably ripping out his t-teeth or stitching h-his mouth shut s-so he won’t talk a-again…” Toko said. This caused most of the group to be repulsed of the thought. This didn’t help your worries, in fact that made it worse.

Sayaka’s face turned white. “D-don’t say that! That’s horrible!” Junko nodded in agreement. “Right, what the hell Toko? Are you trying to freak them out again?” Junko herself seemed a little disgusted as well.

“ u-um so… are we still going to look around the school…?” Chihiro asked while nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

Oh right… we were supposed to be exploring by now. Instead, everyone including you got sidetracked with the whole Makoto situation...

“Oh yeah that’s right! We were supposed to be looking around.” Yasuhiro stated, rubbing his head. “So…is the looking around the school together off the table or…?”

“I believe it would be wise to investigate separately, we can find our own clues I suppose. Perhaps Byakuya’s idea wasn’t too bad, yes?” Celeste questioned. Unfortunately…. she was right. Exploring in one big group would’ve most likely declined your chances of finding clues to escape. Though, you felt nervous even thinking out doing it alone.

“Okay! Then it’s settled! We will investigate alone!” Aoi confidently said.

Before anyone else could respond, Toko quickly spoke. “W-wait what?! B-but that’s practically s-suicide! Are you t-trying to get me k-killed?!” Toko whined.

“Alright alright! Then… go explore with Y/N! I’m sure they don’t mind.” Aoi replied.

You and Toko exchanged looks. Her eyes then followed from yours to your waist apron, her face immediately contorted into a look of disgust. “….N-No…!”

You just continued to stand there in silence, unsure how to respond. “……” What was her problem with you?

Junko groaned. “Then what do you want?! You’re making this much more difficult than it needs to be, girl!”

“….um…maybe we should rethink investigating alone then…?” You stated. “How about we look around in groups instead? Probably groups of four.” Sayaka nodded in agreement, clasping her hands together. “Oh! I like that idea! How does that sound, everyone?”

Most of the group looked at each other momentarily before silently nodding in agreement.

 “I can roll with that.” Yasuhiro crossed his arms smiling.

 “Eh…alright.” Leon shrugs.

“W-were changing the plan that fast?! Just like that?!” Hifumi stuttered.

“Actually...I want to investigate alone.” Taka said. Aoi tilted her head in confusion. “Huh? Are you sure?” He proudly put his hands on his hips.

“Yes! We shall meet again to talk about what we found elsewhere.” He states confidently as he puts his hands on his hips. Another one who wants to search alone huh?

Aoi shrugs. “Okay, suit yourself.”

“So, about those groups uh…. Who is—”

“I’ll pick them!” Taka cut Hifumi off, leaving him a little defeated. “Hmm let’s see… how about Yasuhiro, Leon, Junko and Chihiro?”

“O..okay!” Chihiro happily stated.

“Cool! I can deal with that!” Yasuhiro states.

“Fine with me.” Junko shrugs.

“Fantastic!” He places his hand on his chin. “Hm...let’s see… how about Kyoko—”

“I’m investigating alone.” Kyoko spoke up sternly. Taka looked a little surprised. “O-oh? You too?” She silently nods. “If you say so then…” He looks around at the other group of students. “Okay, since Kyoko is investigating alone... let’s do Sakura, Aoi and Mondo!”

You? In a group with Mondo?

Mondo scoffs. “Whatever, sure. Let’s just get this shit over with.

Aoi confidently pops her jacket collar. “Got it! I’ll do my best!”

Sakura only silently hums in agreement.

“So that leaves me, Y/n, Celeste, Hifumi and Toko...!” Sayaka wrapped her arm around yours. “Hey y/n, would you like to investigate with me?” She gives you that same warm smile she gave Makoto. “Just until Makoto comes back…?”

“Ah…well…”

“I-If you want to of course!...I don’t want to pressure you.” You chuckle dryly, giving her a smile back. “It’s okay, Sayaka. I’ll go with you.” She lets out a sigh of relief. “whew..okay, good!”

Taka happily extends his arms up. “Perfect! All who is left is Celeste, Hifumi, and Toko! How convenient, you guys can be a group!” Toko gives Taka an irritated stare. “W-what am I?!..Left overs?” Celeste glances over at Hifumi, then to Toko. Her expressions weren’t the most readable like the others, but you could tell she wasn’t thrilled about this group choice. “Ah… actually, I—”

“So… are we ready to go investigate?”  Yasuhiro cuts her off unintentionally. “Actually, I’d rather—"

She gets cut off again. “It seems so! Okay everyone, we will meet up later to talk about what we have found! Let’s go!” Taka proudly states. “But please, watch your step!” Hifumi looks over at Celeste, who held an unreadable expression. “Uh…are you okay miss Ludenburg?” She turns her head to face him, her face held a blank stare while she held her pale hands together. “Yes, perfect.”

He nervously chuckled. “O-okay, if you say so.”

She was not perfect, not even close.

“Are you ready to go, y/n? What should we explore first..?” Sayaka asks you. “How about the dorms? I want to see what they look like since it seems like were going to be here for awhile..”

“Aww.. you really miss Makoto, hmm?” She teases. You put your hands up defensively. “Wha-? No. I mean, yes I am worried about him but I wanted to check out the dorms from the-“ You could hear her giggling into her hand at your reaction. “I’m just joking. Let’s go!” She drags your arm towards the exit and you both made your way through the hallways towards the dorms, the others soon followed behind to begin their own investigation. You don’t know what the future will hold, hell you don’t know if you’ll even survive the first night. Will this investigation even be worth it? If there was a way to escape…surely it would’ve been patched by Monokuma? It makes you nervous. But right now, you’re willing to do what it takes to figure out a way to leave Hope’s Peak Academy that doesn’t involve taking a person’s life.

Thank for reading! See you in the next chapter <3

[tswaney17]

IDBTWY Prequel - The Vow

Happy 2 Year Anniversary IDBTWY! 2 Years? What! I've been writing and posting this for 2 years? This is insane! For all of you who have stuck with me, I am so incredibly thankful for you. And if you're new, welcome! I know it's been a hell of a long time and I've put them through the wringer. No, I'm not totally finished... 👀 But I promise things are happening. I've got things written and I'm working hard into building up parts to get us onto a weekly posting schedule so we can avoid these multi-month-long droughts. As I've mentioned, my ask box is open for snippets and questions. Feel free to send me a word and I'll post a line if I've used it in a part I currently have written. I'll get to them throughout the day and this week. Thank you again to every single one of you. I adore every comment you leave me. They truly make my day. 💙💜💚

In the meantime, here's the final prequel for IDBTWY. I had no intentions of writing another prequel, but this idea hit me, and the words kind of spilled out. Please don't come for me. Remember how far we've come from here.😬

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💙💚💜

Credit to @featherymalignancy​​​ for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: language

Word Count: 2,045

Azriel heaved his last bag into the back of the car, hissing slightly as the movement tugged on his tattoos. Bootcamp was going to be a fucking bitch while they healed, but he needed the sting of the needle, the burn of the ink as it pierced his skin to help him focus on something other than the love he had to let go of.

He and his brothers had a late morning appointment at a traditional tattoo shop in Illyria the day after his and Rhys’s graduation. Cash waited on getting his Illyrian tattoos until they were all of age and could go together. A brotherly bonding moment.

Indeed, the following morning after their fight, his brother was sporting a black eye and Az had a split lip, but they put aside their feelings from the night before and stuck to their plans.

Now, a week later, any lingering anger had vanished as they helped him load up his few bags to take him to the airport.

“Is that the last of it?” Rhys asked from behind him.

He turned, catching his brother’s drawn face. The morning had been quiet, just the three of them. Rhys’s dad had said goodbye to him the night before in his unusual way, handing him his first glass of expensive whiskey that he barely choked down. He clapped him on the shoulder, which Az had to bite down on his shout of pain as he slapped his new tattoos, and that was the end of that.

And then Kier showed up. He’d been a hot, sweaty mess when he saw his uncle. But, like normal, Kier barely said a few words to him other than “good luck,” and “see you when you get back.” To the others, it was a simple send-off, but Azriel heard the underlying threat in them. Knew what would await him when he returned home.

“Yes, that’s it,” he answered, shutting the hatch of Cash’s old jeep. He glanced down at his watch, the gift Elain had given him for graduation and his recruitment. She gave it to him at the party, before they broke up. He had felt like a fucking asshole and told her he couldn’t accept it, especially after she said she sold baked goods for the last six months to buy it for him. But she refused to take no for an answer, putting it on his wrist herself.

“We should probably get going, so I don’t miss my flight.”

Rhys nodded. “Cash!” he called. “Come on, let’s go!”

“I’m coming!” Cassian shouted, coming out the front door and locking it behind him. He stopped when he reached the two of them. “You ready, brother?”

No, yes.

If he had asked him three weeks ago, his answer would’ve been yes. A definite yes. He would’ve had a plan, a future, maybe even a fiancé. Now, Azriel had nothing. His future was uncertain; a mob waiting for his return. The love of his life hated him. She was supposed to send him off today. “As much as I can be,” he said, putting on a fake smile that he knew neither of his brothers bought for a second, but they didn’t question him.

As they climbed into the car and pulled away from the curb, his chest began to tighten. This couldn’t be it—how he left things. His panic, his pain, bubbled into his throat and he felt the sudden urge to swallow the painful lump there.

Cash flipped his signal on to turn right at the stop sign down at the end of their block. It would take them to the highway and then to the airport.

“Wait!” he blurted.

His brothers looked at him—Cash from the driver’s seat and Rhys from the back.

Azriel was breathing heavily; like he had just run a marathon. “I have one stop to make before the airport.”

They shared a look in the rearview mirror. “Okay.” Cassian changed his signal and turned left, the direction that would take them to the Archeron house. He didn’t even need to ask his brother where he wanted to go—Cash just knew it.

They all did.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of Elain’s home and parked.

His heart thundered in his chest as he looked up at her place, one hand on the door handle of the car. He had no idea what to do or say. Would she even speak to him? Fuck, he had been such a dick to her. She probably would slam the door in his face. He’d deserve it if she did. His blood roared in his ears; breaths came out unevenly.

“Just go up there and tell her you’re sorry, that you love her, and that you’ll call her when you land,” Cash said, encouragingly. “I know whatever you guys went through was bad, but I also know that what you two had was so much stronger than that. Your love is stronger than that. I know it is, Az. Just tell her you’re sorry.”

Gods he wanted to. He wanted to so fucking badly as he stared up at the walkway to the house he’d spent so much time in. But as he continued to think about her, about the life he could offer her, Kier’s words entered his mind.

Unless you want Elain’s blood on your hands, you’ll break it off with her before it’s too late.

A cold body on the garage floor.

His brother’s lifeless eyes stared up at him.

Killer. Cold-blooded murdered.

That’s what he was. What kind of life could he offer her, love or not? He murdered his brother and covered it up. She didn’t deserve to be dragged down with his pathetic excuse of a life, with his darkness when she was destined to shine.

Elain was this beautiful, bright light and Azriel would do everything in his power to make sure that light never went out.

His hand came off the door handle. “This was a mistake,” he breathed, even as the words tore his heart in two. “I shouldn’t have come. Let’s go.”

Silence settled over the three of them.

“Az,” Rhys tried softly.

“Go!” he ordered Cash. He couldn’t be here, couldn’t let her see him. If Elain came out of that house, he would’ve lost it. “Please, just go,” he choked on his words, emotion clogging his throat.

Cassian and Rhys shared another look but didn’t argue as Cash put the car into drive and drove away.

Azriel twisted in his seat to look at the house through the back window, watching as it got smaller and smaller. As he drove away and left her in the rearview mirror, still holding his heart. He made a vow to himself then. That no matter what life threw at him, what Kier made him face, he would never let anything happen to her. That Elain Archeron would always have his protection, whether she knew it or not.

~~~~~

Elain was lying on her bed, an untouched cup of tea discarded on her bedside table. It had been a week since she and Azriel had broken up—a week of pain, of misery, of going back through their time together to try and figure out where they went wrong. He hadn’t called, hadn’t reached out to her. And she didn’t dare initiate contact first. Her sisters tried to help, but they only wanted her to talk about her feelings and Elain had never been one for opening up.

Not to anyone other than him.

He had always known what she needed. When she wanted to talk or when she’d rather sit in silence. The absence of sound—of life really—was her only companion for the last week. She hadn’t wanted anybody else but him, and it fucking hurt to know he wasn’t coming to soothe her pain.

So, her sisters left her alone to her thoughts. When those became too loud, Elain tried to sleep. But her dreams were nightmares. Nightmares filled with memories of hazel eyes, tanned skin, and beautiful, soft smiles reserved just for her.

Gods, if she only knew what she did wrong, then maybe she could’ve fixed it.  

Elain wiped under her nose with the back of her hand.

Today, however, was worse. Because today was the day he was leaving for boot camp and was set to be gone for years. The thought made her heart ache in her chest more so than it already did. She was supposed to be taking him to the airport today. Had the morning all planned out. She was going to spend the night at his place. Planned on never leaving his side until the early morning when she’d sneak out of his arms to make breakfast in bed for him. And then she was going to give him his going-away present, some scandalous photos she took on her phone in her underwear—and one she finally braved with nothing on—that she had printed before graduation.

Elain burnt those the day after he broke her heart.

As she was lying in bed, looking out the window facing her front yard, she saw Cash’s jeep pull up out front. Jumping from her bed, she went to the pane, heart hammering in her chest. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears.

He was here.

She knew what time his flight was, knew he was in the car that pulled up. Tears sprung into her eyes as she placed a palm on the glass. Az had come back to apologize. To tell her he still loved her, to explain why he did what he did.

So, she waited for him to get out of the car.

And she waited.

And she waited.

And the longer she waited, Elain felt the hope that had blossomed in her chest begin to crack. Tears ran down her cheeks as she murmured to herself, “Get out of the car, Az. Get out of the car. Please, just get out of the car. Please, Az. Come on, get out of the car.”

She pressed her forehead to the window, resting her brow against the cool glass. The blinding sun did nothing to brighten her breaking heart. “Please, Azriel. Please.” How he managed to destroy her twice would be her biggest regret; how she let him do that to her because she knew, deep down she knew. “Azriel, please get out of the car,” she mourned pathetically. “I love you, please.”

And just as easily as she built up that hope, it shattered as she saw the brake lights flash and the jeep drove away. A silent sob wracked her body while she watched the car disappear around the corner. Elain clutched the front of her shirt—his shirt, the one he gave her after he pegged her with a soccer ball. Despite it being his, she always found comfort in it and had worn it every night since he broke her heart.

Since he ripped apart her very being and left it discarded on the ground in shambles for her to pick up.

Turning away from the window, Elain slid to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees. Letting herself cry again for the man that continuously played with her heart. Showing up here felt like some sick joke. Azriel was never a cruel person, but the tears on her face and physical pain in her chest made her start to believe otherwise.

She couldn’t let herself go through it again, be hurt by him again. Her heart could only handle so much pain and misery. Even now, she didn’t think she could ever accept anyone else into her life as she had him. He had left some mark on her soul in a way no other person could and just snatched it away. Like she didn’t even matter. She fruitlessly tried to wipe away the tears running down her face.

Never again. She couldn’t do this again. Not with him. So, there on the ground of her childhood bedroom floor, Elain made a vow to herself to never let Azriel Knight into her heart again.

However, in the end, it would seem neither vow was held.

~~~~~

Remember, sharing is caring! Please reblog if you liked the fic. It helps spread my work and I truly appreciate it. 💕

I’m not doing a tag list anymore because they’re really more trouble than their worth. For notifications, you can follow and subscribe to my fanfic account where I will be reblogging updates and snippets only. You can also find me on ao3.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​

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[keksalot404]

OMORI Guardian Angel Dreams - The Dark of Many Names

An OMORI Crossover Fic

Chapter 5 - If You’re Looking For Fun...

---

"...and that was the last time I saw him before moving away."

It was weird for Sunny to be talking about Omori as if he was a separate being, especially when he now took the appearance of him ever since being in this strange, dark world.

"Wow Sunny, I..." Aubrey stopped her speech to fully settle her thoughts, "God, that's what you were doing for 4 years?"

"..." Sunny stayed silent. It was good, wasn't it? He finally talked to somebody about his Headspace. He never thought it be important to even mention it, up until his view of it changed so jarringly.

Was all his dreams... really dreams? This world, this Dark World, it felt so different, yet felt so subtly familiar. Was what he experienced those 4 years... was it not just a place for him to escape to? A little fake world to be the hero of... could it be...?

"...H-hey! Look at that! Random stage thing!" Aubrey broke the tension in the air. "Finally, am I right? It felt like we've been walking forever now."

Sunny looked to the path ahead. The glowing lights were finally distinguished as stage lights, placed orderly round a square platform. Pass that, a large, shining city of flashing colors and music awaits them.

The pair stepped up a tiny stairway and onto the wide stage, wooden creaks echoed with each step of the floor.

"Huh," Aubrey observed the area around her, "what's this doing here so far from the city?"

Sunny looked around the empty stage, nothing but the yellow lights were present in this place.

Aubrey shrugged, "Well I guess we can just pass through here then-"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOU MEATBAGS!"

A loud, boisterous voice shrieks across the stage, Sunny and Aubrey nearly stumbling back at the shock of a new entity.

"Wha-! Who are - gha!" Aubrey eyes were forced shut when the stage lights flared even brighter, circling around before pointing to 2 shadowed figures the opposite sides of her.

"Don't think you can just skip the next part of this act!" one of the figures said, his voice more nasally then his companion.

Aubrey and Sunny slowly focused their eyes at the opposing duo as the lights settled down around them. They identified their brown shoes, which covered short gray legs. Further up were pairs of round trousers, one red and the other blue. Upper more were inky black bodies that connected to white gloves. They seemed almost like exact clones of each other, the only difference them were their heads, almost resembling...

...a pair of ceramic cups?

"This might as well be the last act too!" the red cup announced. "Because now it's time for..."

"The Cuphead Show!"

The pair of childhood friends stare confounded at the brothers before them, the stage now filled with the color of yellow, and the lights shining upwards to the dark sky above.

"Um, actually it's the Cuphead AND Mugman show, hehe..." The blue trousered man timidly corrected.

"Sunny, aren't those guys cartoon characters?" Aubrey whispered near Sunny's ear. They did in fact watch something like "The Cuphead Show" airing on Frisk's TV one day. Sunny recalled the plot usually follows the 2 brothers, Mugman and the shows namesake, Cuphead, get into trouble and somehow getting by in the end, usually started by one or both of them being dumb. Aubrey only recalled the Devil guy being kind of funny.

"Well howzabout that! You guys actually know some old street smarts!" Cuphead called out. "Looks like kids these days still dig the classics!"

"Uh, Cuphead," Mugman leaned towards his brother, "They must've just seen our reboot show. We just finished the 2nd season a week ago!"

"What do you guys even want..." Aubrey was honestly getting tired of annoying duos at this point, and she's only been here for 10 minutes.

"Word has it you're the new hot shots 'round here," Cuphead leaned his head towards the two humans, "We was thinkin' we'd do a little crossover between us. A show packed with explosives, falling anvils, maybe even an encounter with the Ol' Devil!"

"Those all sound completely lethal," Sunny managed to speak out with slight fear in his tone, Aubrey inclined to agree.

"Whaddya mean? None of you's got toon insurance? Can't walk off a little bruisen'?" Cuphead tilts in confusion.

"Cuphead, I don't think they want to work with us..."

"Nonsense Mugsy!" Cuphead interrupted his brother, "Remember what Elder Kettle taught us? If you don't succeed the first time..."

Cuphead pointed his one of his finger at the sky, a flash of orange light enveloping it, before a blast of firey energy shot out of his pointer. Sunny and Aubrey step back in shock, then flinch as the bright projectile collides with the dark sky, giant stacks of casino tokens crashing down from up above, riddling the stage with red and blue.

"...you DOUBLE DOWN!"

"Pretty sure he never said that."

[ *A brawl is surely brewin'! Now go!]

---

After a year of being in basically hiatus, Dark of Many Names is up and running!

To be perfectly honest, this chapter WAS going to be the longest one yet (like 20+ pages worth) but I've figured that maybe setting high standards for a beginning fic writer is maybe a bad idea, so consider this chapter part one of two!

Also, yeah! Cuphead! The AU has been expanded, both in the Dark World and the Real World, and the cups are just the start! Don't get the wrong idea, they AREN'T going to be part of the CORE4 (OMORI, UTDT, Yume Nikki's main characters and associated ghost friends), none of them will be. They will act as guest stars in a way, maybe serving as background cameos, and perhaps star in a comic or two. As long as they’re considered Indie Games (don't want to get TOO crazy here), they get a shot at appearing! Either way I already have to balance out 8 Main Characters right now and I plan to keep it that way!

That's all from me. See you soon! (Hopefully <w<)

[haleyrude]

Our Game

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x fem!reader

Disclaimer: Takes place in RE4. Nothing crazy, I’m just a sucker for Leon and Krauser’s knife scene in the OG RE4. Some fluff.

Words: 1.2k

It wasn’t because you were afraid, it could’ve been the dried sweat underneath new sweat that was all over your skin, your clothes needing to be changed and washed a dozen times, or the fact that you were utterly exhausted. Your long time partner had told you about a mission that he had to go on and by no means were you not going to go with him. You can’t even remember the last time either of you have been on a solo mission. Were you regretting your life choices? No but that didn’t mean you wanted to be stuck in a castle with endless doors.

“I think I’m gonna go crazy if we don’t make it out of this god forsaken castle” your breathing was a bit rapid as you were trying to keep up with your partner. “We’ll get out” his responses to you started becoming quick and to the point, his dry humor had run out awhile ago. You focused on your breathing and kept behind him. “LEON!” you shot at one of the ganados that had popped out of a corner, his blood splattered on the wall as he dropped. Leon turned and smirked at you nodding his head in approval. It was almost like a game of saves. We kept count of who saved who, even though it wasn’t important it kept us sane. “That’s 4” you said reloading your magazine. “2 behind” Leon responded as he slowed to look around a corner. 

Ashley was gone once again and you couldn’t believe how big this cult was. The village to the castle, with all these mutated freaks, not to mention the bugs. You shivered at the thought of how disgusting they were. Now that the little creep Salazar was gone it seemed you two were going to take a boat to the next stupid place. You were just happy to finally sit down. Leon took the wheel and you leaned back trying to get a breather. “You okay?” you looked over to Leon, his hair still immaculate, his skin had a light layer of grime with his clothes wrinkled and filthy. He looked at you, “I’m holding up, you?” You gave him a small smile, “I’ve been better but good, knowing I’m with you” he smiled at that response. Every mission seemed to have a low point where you both could ask how each other was doing and as long as you two were together no matter the circumstances it was good. 

It was a nice 15 minute break until all hell broke loose at an island. These people were nuts. That was until your mouth was covered, your handgun dropped and Leon wasn’t looking your way. This was something other than a ganado, and then you were in the air as this thing was jumping. “Let me go!” you felt nauseous as you finally came to a stop and the thing let go of you. “No can do princess' ' you gasped and turned around when he finally let go. “Miss me?” Your eyes widened in shock, “Krauser” he let out a chuckle. Your chest tightened, you thought he didn’t make it. “How are you..?” he flipped a knife up and down, catching it perfectly every time. “Let’s save the chit chat for when Leon joins us, but for now” he raised his knife and everything went black.

The next time you awoke you were tied in a chair. The area had all metal flooring, very plain. Your mouth was taped shut and besides the air that escaped some of the piping it was eerily quiet. “Awake I see” you tried to look behind you but Krauser stepped in front of you. “I always hated Leon, that no good son of a bitch. Seeing you with him, princess you could do so much better” you raised a brow. “All those hints I was dropping toward you, it wasn’t until I got hit that you showed an ounce of caring about me, I held onto that sliver of hope but you kept going back to him” He had frowned if remembering our mission all those years ago. All three of you had been partners back then, you had no idea he was a bad guy all along. 

He walked over holding the knife close to the lower right side of your chin. He slowly pressed the blade to your skin causing you to whimper as he drew blood but halted and stood up. “Hold on princess, I have to go take care of your lover boy.” you tried screaming as you finally saw Leon just as Krauser lunged for him. Both of them lashing out at each other with their knives. You kept scooting further on your chair making it to the small ledge enough to fall over and the impact breaking the chair. You groaned before getting on your feet and ripping the tape off. You ran over to where they were fighting, you kept distance and then they both paused. You were just close enough to hear what was being said. “I’ve done many things but she isn’t one of them, why don’t we lose that weight, what do you say?” Krauser chuckled and Leon gritted his teeth, “Over my dead body” Krauser took a step back, “Why not hers” before you knew it Krauser's knife flew into your left shoulder causing you to fall and scream. “Y/N!” Your vision was blurry as the pain was too much but you saw Krauser jump onto a higher platform “You may be able to prolong your life, but it's not like you can escape your inevitable death, is it?” With that he was gone.

Leon was at your side in an instant. “I’m going to pull the knife out, I have bandages to stop the bleeding.” You nodded, tears spilling from your eyes as you braced for more pain. He pulled it out quickly but you still screamed. His face was filled with worry as he quickly bandaged your arm. He pulled you into his lap, wiping away your tears. “He hurt you here too?” he slid a finger close to where Krauser cut you before and you nodded. “I’ll kill him” He looked up as if ready to find Krauser right then and there but you grabbed his hand from your face and held it. “Don’t leave me” you never did show weakness on your missions not caring about being alone but besides raccoon city this was a mission where you felt if you got lost then it would be impossible to be found. “I’m here. When I finished taking care of those ganados and you were nowhere to be found my heart dropped, I couldn’t think clearly, all I wanted to do was get to you.”

Leon was never the one to express his feelings before but thinking about that knife hitting a more fatal part made you shiver. You were lucky. “I don’t ever want to leave your side” he leaned down and connected your lips. The kiss was everything you didn’t know you needed but wanted. He leaned back and both of you smiled at each other. “That’s 7” Leon let out a chuckle and nodded, “now you’re 3 behind”

[georgiapeaches-world]

Time Makes a Difference

First Eddie fic I’ve posted. I haven’t written anything in a long ass time so bare with me here. It’s a bit shit if I’m honest but I had an idea and ran with it. I also suck at using Tumblr so this is going to fun to figure out lmao It will have multiple parts btw. It’s not done yet.

I also wrote this in one go and haven’t edited but I think it’ll be fine. 

Summary: Jo is visiting from college after being gone for almost 2 years. She wants to confront her ex, Eddie, but she brought her current boyfriend with her.

"Hey babe," my boyfriend, Erik, yelled from the front door of our apartment while holding our bags, "It's time to go or we'll miss our flight."

Its been almost 2 years since I visited Hawkins. I missed everyone so dearly and I tried to visit sooner but school and my new job took up so much of my time. I was three states away from everyone I loved. I was so nervous to see everyone. Robin, Dustin, Steve, hell even Nancy who I never got along with much. I think that was mostly due the fact she thought me and Steve were together. That was the farthest thing from the truth. The person I was most nervous to see though was Eddie. He was the person I thought was my soulmate, until he broke my heart.

The flight was excruciatingly long and it didn't help that Erik fell asleep and left me to my obsessive thoughts. It was only 2 and half hours but it felt like 10. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing everyone still. I was terrified of running into Eddie somewhere around town while I was with Erik. I wasn't sure how I would act and I never once told Erik about him. I couldn't bring myself to talk about him to anyone. Even to my best friend, Dove, that I met at college. She was supposed to come with me instead of Erik but her parents weren't having that.

"Seatbelts on, we are about to land" announced the flight attendant. It woke Erik up and we both got our things together to get off. Once we landed and got our luggage, we went to where my parents were supposed to pick us up, but instead I was greeted by old friends.

"Robin!? Steve!?" I immediately dropped my bags and rushed towards them, taking them both in a big hug, "I wasn't supposed to see you guys until tomorrow! Did my parents make you come get me?" I pulled back and it was nothing but smiles and joy between the three of us. Just then, Erik came next to me and cleared his throat, "Oh guys uh this is Erik, my boyfriend."

"Hey man, it's nice to meet you," Steve held out his hand for Erik to shake, but he just stared at him. Erik wasn't the most friendly person, especially when it came to other guys in my life. Steve dropped his hand and grabbed my bags from him instead, "Well lets get these in the car and get you home." Erik and I sat in the back of Steve's BMW while Robin and Steve caught me up on life in Hawkins. Nancy became one of the editors of the paper, the boys were surviving high school, Lucas and Max were back together for the millionth time, Will and El ended up moving back and that meant Nancy and Johnathan were stronger than ever.

They never mentioned Eddie, but I already knew what he was doing. He was a mechanic at Johns shop on main during the day, and a bartender at the Hideout on the weekends- except the nights for when him and the band played, of course, which was now 2 nights a week instead of just one. I had called Dustin, my favorite of the kids, two months ago and he gave me the scoop about him. Dustin was the only one I could talk to about Eddie without judgement or pity. He was the only one who knew the truth about how we ended and how awful it was.

"Here we are," Steve pulled up in front of my parents house and turned around to look at me. He gave a look I knew all to well that said 'give the details of this douchebag later', referring to Erik of course. I nodded to him and we said our goodbyes before grabbing our luggage and walking into the house. We greeted my parents but quickly went to my old room to unpack. I was never close with my parents so hello's were fairly quick, especially since my mom made me call weekly.

"What's up with that Steve guy?" Erik's voice was basically dripping with venom at the name, "He seemed interested in you and way to friendly to just be friends. I don't like him."

"Erik c'mon I've told you about Steve and how we have ONLY  been friends and never anything more," I sighed, not excited to have another conversation like this about a male friend, "I see him the same way I see Robin, as family. There's nothing there, I promise you." He grumbled something under his breathe before declaring he was going to sleep. I was glad he fell asleep fast. I wanted to go see Eddie.

I walked into The Hideout with Steve by my side. I had called him after my parents refused to let me take their car and he agreed to tag along for moral support. Steve knew the gist of what happened, Eddie wasn't happy I was leaving to college but refused to come with me when I begged him so he dumped me and left me on the side of the street. Steve only knew the last part because he was the one to come pick me up once I found a pay phone up the road. I haven't seen Eddie since that night either. The look on his face, the anger and disgust, when he left me was still engraved into my mind.

"Fuck it's crowded in here," Steve yelled over the music, pushing his way to the bar with me in tow. It really was crowded in here. People were shoved in almost every corner. It was a Friday so maybe that's why almost the whole town was there.

I looked around, hoping I'd be able to spot Eddie before he see's me. I wasn't sure if he'd hide if he saw me and that wasn't going to happen on my watch. He was going to listen to what I had to say today and that was that. Just as Steve and I got to the bar, a band jumped on stage and announced themselves. Corroded Coffin. Dustin said they played on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It wasn't either of those days and there they were. Maybe they started getting a crowd and the bar decided to let them play more.

I couldn't help but feel my heart swell with pride watching all the people in the bar clap for him to be on stage. He went from a handful of drunks cheering them on, to a full bar crowded around the stage. His dream was slowly coming true and I couldn't be prouder of him.

"Here's your drink," Steve handed me a beer as he took a swig of his own. I thanked him before we both turned our attention to the boy jumping around on stage. His hair was a little longer, but not much. His face was more defined and you could tell he had gained more muscle even through his leather jacket. His biceps bulged through the tight fabric and his black t-shirt was tight against his chest showing off his toned pecs. His eyes were bright with excitement and his smile was beaming with joy. You could tell he loved what he was doing.

He played song after song. I stood there, almost mesmerized, when he announced the next, and last, song he was going to play, "So uh this is a song I have been working on for years and just haven't gotten the words right, until now that is. It's a song about someone I loved before I fucked it all up and she left me. Its called 'What I Would Do Now' its a bit slower than our norm, but I hope you guys enjoy."

"Summer nights and peaceful drives,

Kisses in the rain when everything was alright,

Fucked it all up when you were mine

Now I'm cruising alone, kicking my mind

One more chance and everything would be backwards

You were the dream and I was the nightmare

What I would now

Hold your hand and take flight

Chase your dreams, right by your side

Pose for every painting

You could never get my hair right

I would love you and give up the fight

I would've followed you into the sea

Chased you to that college town

I saw you happy and had to leave you be

He better be better than me

I was scared but know now that you had to be free

Free from me that kept dragging you down"

Tears brimmed my eyes. I could feel Steve's eyes on me as he put his arm around my shoulders, but I couldn't take my eyes off the boy I once loved. He wrote a song about me. I finally couldn't stop the tears from spilling over as I saw his eyes filled with tears too.

"Uh maybe it's time to go. I know you wanted to talk to him, but after that you might want to wait a day or so," Steve whispered in my ear, trying to pull my hand with him to leave, but then Eddie noticed me. My heart stopped as his eyes found mine. Shock washed over his face, and then confusion, before it ultimately stopped at a look of regret. I could only assume that the regret was me hearing the song, so I turned and let Steve pull me after him.

I heard something being yelled from the stage but was so lost in thought, I couldn't pay attention to the words. Did he miss me? Was he still hurt by it all too? Had he not moved on? I knew now I needed to talk to him more than ever, but I knew Steve was right. I wasn't ready just yet, especially after that. I was so confused.

We were almost to Steve's car when I heard my name being yelled. I turned and saw Eddie at the door of the bar. He looked absolutely beautiful. His hair was perfectly messy and he was breathing hard after the performance. I wanted nothing more than to run to him, but Steve still had a hold on my hand and I knew it would be a bad idea anyways. I mean, I was with Erik. I loved Erik right?

"Jo," Eddie ran up to us, out of a breathe and the look of confusion back on his face but with a hint of pain in his eyes now, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting for the summer break," I said quietly. I didn't even feel like I was in my own body at this point and everything was happening without me. There he was, the one and only person I have ever loved was standing in front of me and I couldn't do anything but stand there.

"Oh," he said simply, "Maybe we can grab lunch tomorrow and catch up, it's been a minute." He wanted to grab lunch tomorrow? I started to replay the last moment I saw him and my stomach went into knots.

"Want to go to Luis's pizza tomorrow for lunch?" He asked driving down the long road.

"Eddie, I need to tell you something," I paused and saw his hands tighten on the steering wheel, "I'm leaving tomorrow night. I know it's earlier than expected and I was going to tell you Monday but-" He slammed on the breaks and looked at me bewildered.

"You're leaving tomorrow and you've known for almost a week now but you're just telling me?" He yelled turning to look at me.

"I-I wanted to tell you."

"You wanted to tell me? When? We have seen each other every fucking day Jo. Every fucking day you have had multiple chances to tell me but you decide to wait the day before you leave? What the fuck is that about!?" His voice kept getting louder and louder

"Eddie I-"

"Don't Jo. I knew it was coming but the fact you waited so long to tell me really shows how you feel. I poured my heart out to you the other day and you already knew you were leaving. Get the fuck out of my car. I'm done. Enjoy college, babe."

"Eddie pleas-"

"I said fucking don't. Get out." He growled lowly, his hands gripping the steering wheel again. I grabbed my bag and stepped out of his van before having to watch him screech away. My heart shattered that night.  

"I can't Eddie." I breathed, looking at his face. The pain in his eyes heightened and my heart fell into my stomach, "I uh I have plans tomorrow already."

"Oh," Was all he could say. I looked at Steve, silently pleading for him to go to his car and wait for me. He mumbled that he'd be in the car so we could talk alone and walked away. Eddie still was looking down at his feet now.

"Eddie I-" I paused, unsure what to say next. My heart was pounding in my ears and my hands were shaking. Its been over a year and I was still terrified to be standing in front of him.

"You know I'm not mad anymore," He was barely audible, "I understand why you waited to tell me and I know you had to leave. I wish I didn't react the way I did because maybe things would be different but-" I stepped up to him and grabbed his face before connecting our lips. I had no clue what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself. He was the main person I have thought about for over a year even after everything that happened.

Everything disappeared as his hands wrapped around my waist and he started kissing back. Our lips meshed together perfectly and it felt like not a day has passed since we touched. Nothing mattered except me and him right now. He was all I ever wanted and now I could feel I could have him back.

I pulled away and rested my head against his chest so we could catch our breath. His chin rested on the top of my head and we just sat listening to sounds around us. I could hear his heart beat quickly and his breath slowing. Sounds of cars passing around by us and the music blaring from inside the hideout was quiet but still noticeable.

"I never stopped loving you, Jo," He whispered before kissing the top of my head. My heart skipped beat. Then I thought about Erik, alone and asleep in my bed. I couldn't do this.

"I have a boyfriend," I blurted out before my mind could catch up to my mouth. He let go of me and stepped back, his face filled with pain and confusion again, "I'm so sorry, Eddie. I-I don't even know what to say now." I looked down at my hands and started fiddling with the ring I had on my hand.

"You still have my ring." His voice was monotone, no emotion even hinted in his voice. He had given me this ring on graduation day. It was my favorite of his that he wore and he knew it, "I gave it with a promise to never stop loving you. You said you would never stop loving me either. Was that a lie?"

"Eddie no," I never once had a day where I didn't love him or stopped thinking about him. He was my person, "my lobster" as I called him because they mated for life, "I have always loved you. There hasn't gone a day that I haven't wanted you Eds." My voice was quiet and I still didn't dare look at him.

"Why are you here Josephine?" Hearing him use my full name hurt. He never called me that. It was always Jo, Jo-Jo, or some cute pet name he used.

"I missed you, Eds," I finally looked up at him and the look on his face shattered my heart just like it did the day he left me on the side of the road, "I just wanted to see you. I wanted to talk but now everything I wanted to say doesn't matter. I wanted to yell at you for breaking my heart and tell you how awful it's been the last year just to make you feel guilty. I wanted to be selfish but now I'm being a different kind of selfish and I'm sorry. I should go." I turned and started to walk towards Steve's car, but Eddie grabbed my wrist to stop me and pulled me to him again.

"I'm okay with selfish," he whispered, our bodies pressed together as he pushed a strand of my hair out of my face, "I missed you too." He leaned in and kissed me again, more passionately, hungry compared to the slow and surprised kiss I gave a moment ago. He pulled away and rested his forehead on my, breathing heavy, "I'll see you at Steve's tomorrow." And with that, he left back into the bar, leaving me there with my thoughts reeling.

The drive home with Steve was silent besides the soft sound of the radio. He wasn't sure what to say and neither did I. When He dropped me off, he reminded me about the party he was throwing tomorrow and to wear something nice. I smiled and nodded before heading into my dark house.

Thankfully Erik was still sleeping, his soft snores filling the room. I grabbed a change of clothes before heading into my bathroom. I couldn't stop thinking about Eddie, which was unusual, but the feel of his kiss still lingered on my lips.

I stood in front of the mirror, my fingertips lightly on my mouth. My mind reeling from everything that happened in the last two hours. Finding out he made a song about me, hearing his voice, feeling his touch, tasting his lips. I felt like a teenager again.

[jamesoctober]

Exes

About a year ago me and my girlfriend of four years broke up (we'll call her Lucy). This was a mutual decision, and that was confusing in it's own right. It's painful to stop something that's not bad yet. We were never bad, we just weren't "right" by the end of it. It was one of those classic situations where we thought a platonic friendship was possible after some space. We got our space. I fell into the habit of going out every weekend to see if I made the right call. The world was dark but I still felt her warmth.

I went out every weekend with my best friend at the time (we'll call him Jack). We had lived together as roommates for about four years and I considered him my best friend.

For context, I am a music producer in LA and I lived in a house with Lucy, Jack, and two of my other close friends from college. For the past couple years, Lucy and Jack were working on an album together that reflected on their past relationships. I had no question in my mind that anything would happen between them. These weren't those kinds of people. I felt as if that situation was family. A home built on trust and compassion.

About a month after the breakup, I went to an acoustic show in a friends backyard, and Lucy was performing with Jack playing guitar. I was so nervous to see her, but it felt easier because I had friends like Jack. They performed and I kept a happy face on, regardless of the lyrics being sung that reflected a newly ended relationship. Talking with her was awkward, only because it was the first time we had been apart in four years.

A month alone really shows you a lot. It shows you how much a person took or gave, and how much that actually affects you. I felt her absence so deeply. The only thing that took me out of it was writing sessions. In that situation,

Soon after, Lucy and I met up for coffee. We walked around her neighborhood and caught up on how each other were coping. At the assumed end of the back and forth, she became quiet. She said, "I have something difficult to tell you." I was quiet. My mind was quiet. "Jack and I have feelings for each other." My mind was hot. "I told a friend who told a friend who works with you," she said. I couldn't let you hear it from her." I melted. I left.

Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought those words were a possibility. Jack was the brother in my world. The person who had all of my trust and love. They knew how much trust I had in both of them. They made music, I complemented it as much as I could. They played shows. I showed up, helped out, and came through in any way possible. I even flew myself out to New York to play bass for their show, stayed at his parents house, and supported them through it all.

I know drive home with the knowledge that my best friend is waiting for me with a half-assed explanation to a situation no one wants to be in. I sit in my room, waiting for a knock.

He knocks. "Come in" I say with broken pitch. He opens the door with one hand, holding 2 glasses of whisky in the other. I wanted nothing more than for him to walk out of my room and to have never existed. I sat there, he relearns the english language, and I forgive him so that he can leave sooner. I then find myself confiding with Lucy on the phone about how I feel. The second Jack leaves, I picture the route to her apartment. Her mattress on the floor and the tears on his shoulder. I tell her about it. I'm distressed.

I tell my other roommates about it, and they react like they just saw a ghost. " That sounds like a TV show." Too much shock for sensitivity. I think of Ross and Rachael in friends, and how you can actually make this stuff up. A lot of the conversation was foggy, partly due to Jacks reiterating of points that were in no way helpful. What can you say that can change what you've done. He asks if we're still friends, and I say yes because I wasn't ready to believe any of it. I wasn't processing it.

The next day, I woke up at 4 AM and drove up to Big Bear. It was the ski mountains opening day, and I had planned on leaving early. Now I was so thankful for the distraction. I show up to a packed mountain, with hundreds of Los Angeles residents crammed into the one ski run that was open. The whole day I was racing down the mountain and racing through thoughts. I break at the bottom. Lucy texts me, asking how I'm doing.

It feels fucked up to process something with the person who did that something. It took me a couple months to finally say that to her. At the time I spilled my guts to her; saying my insecurities, voicing my disbelief, and listening to her mantra of, " There's no logic to feelings."

I drive home and call my friend Lily. She was one of my first friends at college and she's one of my greatest friends to this day. Without Lily's disbelief, I wouldn't of let myself get angry. Then I got angry. I drove home with fire in my chest and lead in my feet. I pulled into the driveway, and my body was preparing for war.

The following conversation was more of a monologue than anything. Featuring lines like, " Did it feel good to comfort me and then go to her house and be me?, I thought we were best friends! How could you live down the hall from me and act like you weren't hiding a monster at her house." He listened. He said sorry too many times. It didn't multiply in significance like people think it does. It's almost as if he had no idea that his actions were nightmarish. I said my piece, I left, and we co-existed in the same house for over a month until he had the astute observation that things were different.

Jack moved out. Lucy reached out. I stopped replying. We all existed in the same world but at opposite ends of the table. Avoiding each other at every event for shared friends, forced exclusion, and sob story songs that I hear with their intention behind it.

I get sad about it. I hope that it'll get better, and I hope I'll stop being so curious. For now I'll just write songs about it.

-J.O.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

There’s a 10 video per post limit found out now. Posting ths bcz I saw an ad with quest love ❤️ 142 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

{updating 15 November 2022 Tuesday 5:06 am pdt @ bottom }

I heard ths song many years ago & didn’t learn the lyrics until recently?

146 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

it’s hard 2 say no even when you want 2? Work on it, promise yourself for only yourself, 4 a stronger happiness, (-a more promising connection with some1, who you really like 2b with in the future, that today, we must reject bcz we don’t yet feel it -) to say NO! 147 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday.

158 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

203 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

If you dress up more it creates a stronger barrier probably 2 enable you 2 say “no”? Or keep things long distance, a long distance relationship, 2 make it stronger b4 saying yes? Have conditions/ standards. Unconditional love with a man can kill a woman. Unconditional love w/ a man means putting up w/ all sorts of abuse. Do your best. Make him check mark ✅ those boxes 📦. Or rather, find one who will do it willingly w/o being asked. 208 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday. I had 2 tried 2 find happiness w/ myself by myself for years when I started again 2 try 2 b celibate since July ≈4th, 2010. Still celibate 2 MY knowledge. Incubus says differently 😑only broke the news 📰 2 me this summer.😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 after each failed attempt, try & try again. Read self help books 📚, & I guess if you can not hold yourself accountable find someone who can or will?? 216 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday. 😖😭incubus 217 am pdt left calve leg 🦵 pain! 😖😖😖 218 am pdt word play: calve—> calf love=puppy love —>> other word play on Calvin Klein; besides Calvinism. 220 am pdt

255 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

sorry to Nancy Pelosi & husband, kinda heard what happened, awful 😣. This next song has nothing to do with them. I’ve hit my head on hard surfaces, ie stainless steel - I have experienced some a lot of pain besides getting punched. (325 am pdt edited)

259 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday.

304 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

Slam your body down & wind it all around I thought of break dancing = b-boys.

319 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

ps 330 am pdt a relative of mine closely related 2 my father, is a red head. Makes me wonder if black hair genes are made with one of each allele hiding potential for many hair colors. Need 2 dive deeper n2 biology. 332 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday.

341 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

incubus spiritual husband who claimed he is Adam Noah Levine, has made it clear he’s going 2 kill me & thinks I am too old & unattractive. Incubus husband also had a friend who speaks 2 me too & has his back.

344 am pdt

gets sprung. He intentionally destroyed my ass since 2017 he has been stabbing it, cutting it, & pulled apart the bones several times then clashed them 2gether last year while I was trying 2 sleep 🛌 346 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday.

pps I naturally have curly eyelashes. Distal joints of fingers slightly bend back. Big long finger nail beds. Pale white skin w/o sun exposure, & when I was in high school a classmate wrote me a love letter 💌 telling me I had beautiful brown skin. I used 2 have dimples & those disappeared 👻. Random guys have said I was “hot” in front of me up until ≈2020 (even though I was in a lot of pain(359 am pdt)). I used to have very muscular calves from working out for years that I didn’t have to flex 💪 & people could see it bulge. A guy felt my legs 🦵 & said I had “legs like a stallion.” So you know, you’re not the only one. I’m talking to someone in particular who might see this. 14 November 2022 355 am pdt. & I am petite, about/around same height as Sierra LaMar. 356 am pdt. (Add: 503 am pdt: when I was 18/19? Years old I was told I looked 12 years old by a random guy. & then prob 21/22 ? I was told I looked 16 years old.)

407 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

b4 2020 election 🗳? I remember seeing/listening 2 a video online of a guy who is supposedly psychic? & I think it was him who said to a woman she was going to marry Jesus? & she died not long after that guy said that, so it seems that getting married to Jesus is a deceptive way to say you’re going to die? By the devil? In 2017/2018 incubus husband was giving me signs that he’s Jesus & has been throwing around in front of me signs 🪧 he’s going to marry me since then, “what lovers do” song: do you love me or not? Like Jesus asked Peter. Reminds me of the mentally dating Adam Levine tshirts.

If you read the word marriage = marr i age. Then we can probably assume since he has demonic power that he wanted me to see that video, about the marrying Jesus & dying -demon lord does not want me typing this he literally deleted part of this - incubus is the devil 😈- & he decided this before I was born to treat me this way. I’ve had it rough for a looooooong time, even when I was a kid he hurt me. He’s showing me through auto correct that he “decided devil” probably trying to make me feel bad for typing this. So when he says marriage to me, he means he is killing me. 428 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday.

432 am pdt do incubus only get turned on by lust? Not love ❤️? Only want 2 make babies 👶 with who though & why? Looking for specific traits? Or is it only lust? 434 am pdt. 14 November 2022 Monday.

445 am pdt I wonder if Adam Noah Levine means anything he says. Like I thought I read he told Maryka/mvrykv_ (I’m guessing this is a self given alias, not her real name) that he had 2 children 👶 & he’s done, he’s tired of it? & he thinks he can get away? I guess he is looking for escape from being a dad/father. & wants to only mess around & “fuck”/have sex. When a man phrases it like that & says all those things together, & he has continually said publicly for years things that sounds the opposite of that, it probably means he doesn’t want ❤️ love? He wants raunchy horny wild sex probably? With the youngest women he can find; not 1,2, 3, or 4, but 5 or more??? 453 am pdt. & it looks like he wants women who will hide it! He says you know I should not be talking to you right? Bcz he’s aware & he is fishing around for a way to say keep this a secret 🤫 secret 🤐 . This is what I think 🤔 & it has taken me a while to realize that.457 am pdt. 14 November 2022 Monday.

6 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

thinking if incubus spiritual husbands are actually rapists & murderers, & they like their friends to talk down to me & torture me too, then that guy w/o condom is probably friends of incubus/incubi, too, birds of a feather flock 2gether- maybe even sometimes nicolatian, too? (but w/o offspring?only sample)(hypothesis) bcz his friend who gives me signs 🪧 & talks 2 me, too, reminds me of that guy. ♐️ another hypothesis: incubus look for specific traits, & they kill off the wives bcz they don’t want anyone else having offspring with the same traits? For years I had body shame (wore jackets & sweaters & pants & 3/4 to full sleeves & socks 🧦 to hide my arms, butt, legs, feet 🦶, & a lot of fears. Maybe it was a form of control to keep me from meeting other men? If he has power to transfer fertilized eggs 🥚, probably has power to make miscarriages happen or prevent pregnancy 🤰 , whenever I did meet some one. But each person I got involved with seemed to be a sign 🪧 / a clue, showing me my planned fate, or maybe a clue to what already transpired?? (definition inferred through previous readings). 617 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday. There are overlapping? themes. Before I watched serendipity & after. Cassiopeia. I see Casio, cassi- x2 to 4. ... 14 November 2022 625 am pdt. Hungry.

644 am pdt 14 November 2022 Monday

Bcz incubus/incubi? Are probably demons & can control people, they probably will do whatever they can to confuse you- including concussions 🤕/head trauma/ injuries & also headaches & other things in your head to make you retarded & forgetful. So if you are hardworking he would probably exploit it, & if you are smart it would probably take a long time for you to know it. My dad & his father are studious & like to work with their hands 🙌. My mom & her mother had a good work ethic. I wonder 💭 if these kinds of traits are genetically transferable ? 652 am pdt. 14 November 2022 Monday.

update 15 November 2022 Tuesday 5:06 am pdt : remembering now that a few people have complimented me on my smile & teeth 🦷 (probably bcz of its shapes- kinda bigger I guess) that & I endured @ least 3 years of painful orthodontia. 513 am pdt

[myentiretruth]

The Entire Story

6/19/2022 - 2:06pm

What happened? More than I could possibly say, but I’ll try to get it all out. 6 days ago I lost my entire world. I felt like a wildfire had ripped through my life, coming from nowhere, lit by no one, and it burned down every house and killed every person. In the last 6 days, I’ve discovered who it was lit by, who controlled it all along, and what I did that released it like a monster onto a bustling city in a pop culture film.

6 days ago I discovered my boyfriend cheated on me. One moment I thought things were fine. I was brainwashed into thinking things were fine. Every fight was decontextualized by love bombing, every lie buried with four more, every problem blamed on me. After a weekend bender of drinking, my 30-year-old boyfriend woke up in another woman’s apartment. I saw his location ping there at 5:45am while I was at work that morning, stocking the fridges. I screenshotted it, and confronted him with it later. He lied to me several times: “I slept at home last night,” “You’re caught me, I didn’t sleep, I partied all night,” “I went home with a friend and slept but nothing else happened.” Frustrated with his lies, seeing him in a new light, concerned there was more, I reached out to his friend on Instagram. We can call her Kate. I’d met Kate once a year prior while I was in Dallas, where my boyfriend lived. We met at a brunch of maybe 10 people, mid-pandemic (I know, I wasn’t happy about it either). My boyfriend never wanted me to talk to his friends, citing privacy and respect as the reason, and I’d soon learn that he kept his friends and family from reaching out to me either for the same reasons.

I messaged Kate on Instagram. I typed out a message, explaining the situation and asking, girl-to-girl, if she could give me piece of mind. Tell me he wasn’t cheating. But she couldn’t, in fact, she told me he told her months ago that we were not together anymore. Months ago. Weeks ago. Even Yesterday. He swore up and down to her that we were broken up. My world fell. I couldn’t understand. I was at my job, hysterically crying, trying to understand what happened. Why did he think that was okay? How could he justify such lies?

In the weeks before we had discussed me moving across the country to be with him, changing my entire life to join his. Marrying him. Even just a week before he professed how much he wanted to marry me, have babies with me, and grow old. I was his other half, his partner in crime. He loved me so much, right? I believed him. I loved him. I’d do anything for him. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore, just that I wanted what he wanted.

A week before we broke up I had come to him telling him I was insecure. We didn’t talk as much anymore, he was out drinking all of the time. I didn’t feel like he loved me anymore. With all the lies he told that I was unaware of, he sat there and told me that he was sorry he hadn’t been paying as much attention to me. He told me he’d try to do better, to call me more, that it was important to him. He told me that he loved me.

The weekend before this we fought. Our fights had been getting worse. He went out to a bar and texted me that there were prostitutes there hitting on him and his friends. I was angry. He’s a wealthy man in his 30s, why is he at this bar? Why did he even tell me this was going on? He said it was a joke, that the prostitutes were funny, but I told him that it wasn’t funny to me. Again, why was he even there? He’d told me previously he didn’t see prostitutes as women at all, not “real” women, anyway. He told me I was insecure for not being happy he was there, and we didn’t talk for two days. Usually after these fights he wins me right back. Never apologizes, but showers me with so many pretty words and love and blaming until I think it’s my fault or forget it ever happened . That didn’t happen this time, because he cheated.

At home after leaving my job early I confronted him over the phone. After a few calls, he admitted to cheating. Adamant it was only kissing before he passed out drunk, but cheating nonetheless. He cried over the phone. I never heard him cry before. He almost never cried. But he was caught. He tried to cover up how he’d lied about our relationship, lied to all his friends, but I had all the proof I needed. Each phone call was a blur, but he wanted to be friends, so he put up with me yelling at him, telling him how he was a dishonest man and a liar and a cheater. Sometimes he’d apologize and express his guilt, other times he’d tell me how I need to get over it and how I was a stick in the mud for continuing to be upset. The heartbreak continued. How could he move on so fast? Four years together. How could he be so fine with us being over? How could he not care about my pain, about his? He wanted me to stop talking about us, about the breakup. He wanted me to just move on.

I played along for the first four days. Fine, I’ll try to be friends. I cried a lot, told my closest friend every word he said. I told my now-ex boyfriend that I didn’t want to watch him move on, sleep with other people, and date. I didn’t want to watch him find others. I still didn’t understand why he didn’t want to be together. The long distance, he said. But how could it be that, when we’d been long distance for so long and there was only 9 months left? The age difference (I’m 20), but how could it be that, if that hasn’t been a problem for so long? If I am more mature than him? I tossed around commitment issues and his lying as other possible reasons. At a point, he tried to convince me it was my fault I didn’t realize we weren’t together anymore. After all, he had turned off his iPhone location (he hadn’t), spoken to me less, and stopped saying I love you as frequently. He tried to convince me that he didn’t really cheat, I just hadn’t realized we were broken up. Yeah, it’s okay if you laugh. It’s pretty ridiculous. At the time, I asked him “Do you consider how people, me, your friends, and your family, feel when you lie to them?” and he said “No, I’ve been so independent and on my own for so long that I don’t care or consider how my lies make them feel. I lie to benefit myself, and It doesn’t occur to me how they feel.”

How could he leave me? I was perfect for him. Not organically, of course, since he made me. He made me exactly what I am. He shaped every personality trait, every like and dislike, every sexual interest. He was my first and he had designed me via manipulation and abuse. More on that later.

Still, four days after we broke up, also the day before yesterday, he took someone home. Or went home with someone. He always told me that if he wanted to go home with someone and have me not find out, he’d just shut off his snapchat location, which he had turned on for everyone (creepy, I know). Sure enough, he left the bar and turned off his location. I lost my mind. I was an absolute mess. After so many years, only 4 days? 4 days to move on? I was devastated. The wildfire had tore through my life and burned everything to a crisp. When you touched things, they turned to ash. I couldn’t take it. I’ve shouldered so much abuse from him— emotional, verbal, sexual. This was where I had to draw the line. I wasn’t going to force myself to watch him do that. I know what he wanted. He wanted me to know, he wanted to rub it in my face, and in the morning when I was mad he wanted to verbally abuse me and remind me we were no longer together. Call me names, tell me I was an immature child.

I never gave him that opportunity, because I sent him a message that I couldn’t be friends, and blocked him on every platform I could. I was a little happy to be free of him, but it was excruciating knowing he was moving on. Seeing other people. He’d been mine for so long, and I’d been his, I didn’t know what else there was.

Now, two days later, my outlook has changed. I have a long road ahead of realizing what he has done to me. Looking back and seeing the truth, dusting away his web of lies. Underneath the rubble and scorched earth of the wildfire he lost control of are foundations that tell the true story of what happened, of who he is. I realize now that this fire was not new, it was carefully cultivated by him. It burned in the background with our every kiss, touch, and word. He kept it hidden behind doors, away from my careful eyes. He told me how I was so strong, so smart, I could find a fire if there was one, so I stopped looking. But it was there, and when I broke his careful boundary and reached out to Kate, I finally opened that door. Fire poured out. Lies and half-truths and damaging, devastating secrets poured out and In drowning in them.

My boyfriend, let’s call him Rob, met me when I was 13. We met online in a BDSM chatroom. I was young and in pain, not knowing what I was doing. I’d been abused by my family and didn’t understand what love was, but I wanted to find it. I was desperate for attention and affection. I would have taken it from anywhere. Unfortunately, I found a snake that disguised itself as safety when Rob first messaged me. He was worried for my safety, because I seemed young and the chatroom was full of creepy, bad men. He was young, newly 23, and didn’t seem like one of the creeps. We started talking, and when he asked me how old I was , I was honest, it was 2015 and I was newly 13.

We began talking every day, calling and texting. He lived in New York, I in Arizona. After two months he told me he was falling in love, that he couldn’t believe it but he couldn’t stay away from me. He messaged me every day while I was in school— 8th grade. He messaged me sexual things. He asked for photos of me, sent photos of him. He opened up to me about his kinks and sexual interests. Like an innocent sponge, I soaked it all up. I didn’t see myself as a child, and didn’t see himself for what he was: a sick, demented man. He was an adult, he knew better. I felt bad for him, falling in love with someone so young and far away. I wish you could see the messages. I wish you could see how he tricked me, how he made me fall in love and convinced me he had too. I still like to think that he did love me, that it was all real. But even if he did, he knew how wrong it was.

We had met in June that year, and in October he broke things off. He wanted me to be able to grow up free if him. I guess his conscience bit him in the ass, but it didn’t last long. We still talked over the next year. He moved on, partied, slept around, and rubbed it in my face. He told me this was the way it was, to grow up, move on, and date someone new. When I finally did in October 2016, he was angry and jealous. He was unhappy with me for dating someone near my age. Eventually, he left me alone, but he still came back every few months to check in. He found someone to date, I was happy with my new boyfriend.

Just over a year later, maybe December 2017, my boyfriend and I’d been having problems. He had been going around behind my back with other girls, and we fought a lot. I reached out to Rob, asking him how he was doing, how his girlfriend was, and wishing him a happy holidays. He responded not long later and sparked up conversation. His girlfriend and him had broken up. One night, when Rob was out drunk at a party, he poured his heart out to me. He told me he never stopped loving me, never stopped thinking about me. His ex and him supposedly broke up because he couldn’t stop comparing her to me. I was confused and didn’t know what to do, but my compassion won over. I felt loved and adored and wanted him to feel better. I affirmed him, said I never stopped thinking about him either. I didn’t plan on leaving my boyfriend, but after a month of talking Rob had won me over again. I loved him all over again, like I never stopped. He planted seeds of doubt in me and broke my boyfriend and I up. He began dating me again. I told Rob how hard it would be. 2 years before I was 18, and then I’d have to go to college, could he really wait for me? At the time I was 15, almost 16, and he was 25. Yes, he said, I was his soulmate. His other half. I was worth it all. He loved me, more than anyone he’s ever loved. I was everything he wanted. He’d made it work. He said it like a mantra almost every day. I believed him. We had movie dates over the phone and called almost every night. I studied hard to go to college. Our conversations about sexual things continued. When we’d fight, usually about him messing with other women or lying, he would tell me I was an immature child. He would target my insecurities and use them against me, then tell me how much he loved me. How he could forgive me, how he never got tired of me, how much he loved me and couldn’t stay mad. My life was an emotional roller coaster of apologizing for my emotions and feeling insecure and unsettled all of the time.

I was vulnerable. I needed help, and he would help me. When my parents would berate me or emotionally abuse me or hit me, he would be right there to comfort me. He would promise me that his family would take me in, treat me as their own, and love me in the ways my own family couldn’t and wouldn’t. He told me so many times about the future we would have together, how he’d always be there to make it better. I was depressed, suicidal, and hurting. He called me every day and shouldered my emotional burdens, and I never realized how he made new ones. e talked about me running away to him, began arranging secret meetups in movie theaters, but nothing happened for awhile. We still always talked about sex, had phone sex, and he had many explicit photos of me.

When it was time for me to pick colleges, Rob was unhappy when I considered schools far from him. During our relationship he had moved to Texas and wanted me to go to Rice or Baylor. I tried, but in the end another school gave me more scholarship money. I didn’t have complete control over where I went because my family wanted me to pick the cheapest option, too. I went to a school in Michigan, and Rob was mad for a long time. I loved him and regretted choosing somewhere so far, even if it was a better school. Before I selected the school, I flew to Rice to interview. When I was in Houston, so was he. We met briefly in a restaurant. I was still only 17. We were both who we said we were, but he made me feel like I’d forced him to go, when I hadn’t.

As I got older and neared 18, the calls lessened. We didn’t talk as much. He still showered me with love and compliments and affection, but every few months he’d threaten to leave me if I didn’t fix the long distance or whatever issue was pressing him at the time. A few months after I turned 18, he told me to stop talking about my family and abuse. I could just leave home now, after all. His affection would continue to lessen over the next two years. But It had been so long, and I felt like no one would ever love me but him, so I stayed. I didn’t know how to leave. I didn’t know who I was without Rob, what life was without Rob.

We met in September 2020 when he visited me at college. He was unsure of meeting me, but I pushed him to come. We had waited so long, why were we waiting still? I still didn’t see what he had done as wrong. I didn’t see myself as child he had manipulated. I thought he just loved me, that this what was love was. That pain was normal, and it meant the love was true. Around that time he was pressuring me to get on birth control because he was too old for condoms. I wasn’t able to get my IUD in time for his visit, and I had to beg him to use condoms. He insisted on not using them at first, and sometimes would listen and put them on. I was terrified after he left. I was freshly 18 and in college, what if he got me pregnant? I still think about that.

I had felt so elated that he was real, he was with me, his love was tangible. He held me when I cried about how terrible he had treated me. How terrible the distance had been. He told me he’d never leave. We were life partners, he was in for the long run.

I remember the first year as incredible. He visited me once or twice in Michigan, but I visited him many times in Dallas where he lived. He had a small, cute apartment, and we seemed so happy. He drank a lot and partied when I wasn’t in town, but was on his best behavior when I was. He seemed exactly as he said he was. He was always careful about me meeting people in his life, but I attributed it to the age gap and distance. I was so wrong. I hadn’t met his family, only a few friends one time, yet had spent multiple months in pieces living in Dallas with him. I was lying to my parents about where I was as I took online classes from his apartment. It was an extremely stressful time for me, but I wanted to do what he wanted.

We still fought, and when we would fight he would usually find a way to convince me it was my fault. I was the one who was insecure, I was childish and unaware. As his abuse worsened and I could occasionally spot his gaslighting, I made the mistake of calling him out. He feigned being upset over it, and convinced me that it was actually me who was abusive, who gaslighted him. He was the victim and I was the crazy girlfriend who needed to walk all over her partner to be happy, to control him. I started complaining about less and less, keeping my disagreement to myself. I didn’t have any control, any say.

The second year was worse. Every few months he’d tell me he wasn’t sure of the relationship, that he wanted to leave, then would pretend like nothing happened. He bought a home in Dallas he couldn’t afford, one that I hated, and it brought him additional stress. He took a lot of it out on me. He still refused to let me meet his family or more friends, and when I pushed to he would do little things to appease me, like call his parents and allow me to participate. It wasn’t enough, and the pressure increased.

My college classes turned in person, and I couldn’t visit as often. His job was permanently remote now, but he refused to come visit me like I had him. In my mind, it was his turn now. I had space in my apartment, but he didn’t want to. He visited here or there but we grew apart from not seeing one another. I pushed to meet his family more and more, but he even cancelled going to his family Thanksgiving celebration to spend Thanksgiving with me in Texas. Another appeasement, but all I wanted was to meet them. I wanted to be a real part of his life, not some little girl he was ashamed of and loved behind others’ backs. I understand somewhat now what he saw me as, how he couldn’t bear to introduce me to his family and risk what I could tell them.

His love for me waned still. He wasn’t compassionate and loving, hated talking to me and calling, and put a heavy emphasis on our kink-filled sex life. I didn’t have much of a choice and did whatever he wanted to keep the peace. He pushed me to drink and use marijuana with him, stuff I was previously very against. When I was visiting him for Thanksgiving last year, after he had cancelled attending his family one, he gave me a very strong edible and sexually assaulted me twice. He had to carry me up the stairs, I couldn’t do them by myself. I don’t understand why he did this to me, perhaps for power and control. I probably would have engaged willingly, but he often talked about his fantasies of rape and now finally got what he wanted. It broke me. I lost so much will to ever fight back, and I never called him out or held him accountable, or hell, ever talked about it again.

Earlier this year, he pushed me more to move to Dallas. He was adamant he was ready to get married and needed me to be on the same page. I want a husband, a life partner, and loved the idea. I wanted the life he promised me. I wanted the future we’d always talked about. I was convinced from an early age that he was the only future I had, the only love I deserved and would ever need. I originally wanted to move somewhere besides Dallas with him. A fresh start. But his family was starting to move to Dallas and he didn’t want to move anymore. He eventually convinced me to agree to move to Dallas after I graduated from college and move into his home. I never liked the house, but it would be mine now. I now know he had been telling everyone we broke up, but pushing me to make permanent plans, which I did. Our fights were becoming more aggressive and he became more and more cruel, but I didn’t know who I was without him. I didn’t know how to leave. I tried at one point in April, but he wouldn’t let me.

Now I feel empty and lost and full of anger. I am slowly looking back on our texts, all the way back into 2016, things he had told me to delete but I never had. I didn’t expect to ever want to turn him in, I was just attached to the love he showed me and didn’t want to lose his texts as a reminder. Now i see them as proof. I’ve never been so angry. I felt betrayed in the beginning of the breakup, then embarrassed at being lied to, for falling for it all. I felt terrified at him making me live without him, distraught at his ease of moving on, how he didn’t seem sad at all to have me out of his life. Depressed when I came to terms that it was over, really over. Disgusted and sad when he took someone else home four days after cheating on me, when I thought he wanted me to be his wife. This summer was supposed to be me meeting his family, then engaged in the next year. I wanted to finally be a huge part of his life.

But now I am angry. I am full of hatred and anger for him. He stole my innocence from me, my teenage years, my freedom. He kept me emotionally, mentally exhausted and when I got too confident or powerful, he knocked me down. I had the personality he wanted me to have, the interests he wanted me to have. I adored him and he was ashamed of me. Part of me wants to hold him accountable. Why does he get to have a full, happy life after all of his lies and cheating and abuse? He was sexually attracted to me as a child and messed me up beyond belief. I don’t know who I could have even been without his influence. Why does he get to move through life, move on unscathed? Why does he get to be free and happy?

Everything I said here isn’t all that happened, but it is a large chunk. There will be more posts as I reflect and handle the emotions i have from this. I hope to someday look back and see how I have grown, how I’ve let go of the anger and found happiness. Maybe someday I’ll hold him accountable and ruin his life for ruining mine. All i know is i am deeply sad for the little girl this happened to, and I’m grateful I found out now about his deception, cruelty, and abuse of me when I was an adult and child.