jeneprendspasletrain

[askyoichiasakawa]

Observe - for your muse to catch mine observing other guests James walks over and shoulder checks Yoichi... "Hey... I'm glad to see you made it." he leans in.. "So you know the Trickster" He said as he had seen him stare at the hyena as he walked over.. @lab-camp-kill

Yoichi felt a bump to his shoulder and glanced over his shoulder to a fellow aquatic-themed man, James! He smiled surprised and turned to better face them. "Sunderland- San, it's nice to see you here as well!" "You look quite nice, i'm a bit biased though with your mask" he chuckles softly but perked up at the question given to him. "Trickster..?" oh did he mean- He looked back to where he last saw the hyena-clad Idol walk away too. "Mmm yes, we've come across each other enough times- in and sometimes out of trials to be friendly. Or well close to friendly I suppose"

@lab-camp-kill

[earthtoharlow]

Previous Chapter

SERIES MASTERLIST

THESHADEROOM

liked by 975,085 users

theshaderoom: Look who’s back! #Y/NY/L does her first interview since leaving social media for over a year! Y/N talks about becoming a mother and dating #Drake and ex #JackHarlow

“Sometimes, I look in the mirror in the mornings and just say to myself “Oh my God! Bitch you’re someone’s mother!” It’s hard work, but I love every part of it. “

Y/L continues “it doesn’t feel like work though, having Ariel has made me look at the world with a new set of eyes. This sounds spiritual, but I really do feel born again.”

The rapper/model couldn’t hide the smile on her face when asked about Drake!

“Aubrey, brings me so much peace. After everything that happened in my last relationship, the idea of a new relationship was out of the question. Starting a family with him has made me finally understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else. He was always meant to be the one for me.”

Additionally, Y/N reflects on her past relationship with Rapper Jack Harlow.

“I’ll be honest, the day his Vogue feature came out. I immediately called him. What people don’t understand is that I was with him for 2 years, we were planning our whole lives together. I won’t go into details about our conversation but after that I sat back, watched, and cried while letting them have their moment. Which hurt a lot but I’m grateful for it because now I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with.” Click the link in our bio to read more!

view all 14,689 comments

user: aw I’m really so happy for her

user: something seems fishy about them idk

user: see how y/n can do an interview and not talk shit about Jack Harlow?! Even though he deserves it!!

user: Drake can’t keep a women so they’ll be broken up soon

user: I know Jack and all his baby mamas shaking and crying

user: no wonder Stacey is jealous of Y/N

user: she’s so mature because if my ex was slamming my name in interviews I would raise hell!!!

user: she seems to be in such a great place mentally!

user: damn she’s really a mother

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by jackharlow, haileybieber, kimkardashian, justineskye, chrissyteigen, oliviaculpo, neelamthadhani and 783,529 others

thatgirlstacey: that look when bitches can’t keep your husband name out their mouth

view all 5674 comments

user: girl, you need to be worried about if Jack had another baby on you

haileybieber: 🤦🏼‍♀️ tell me about it

user: yeah y/n is weird

user: so y’all can talk about her but she can’t?

user: y/n didn’t say anything bad about you or your relationship

user: you lucky y/n didn’t drag tf outta you both

kimkardashian: sending you love 💕

user: ok enough about y/n girl you look good af

user: bitches stay jealous

jackharlow: love running their mouth 🙄

user: you ain’t broken up with him yet?!!

user: you won, you got the man! Leave y/n alone

JACKHARLOWSOURCE

liked by 5,790 users

jackharlowsource: Jack Harlow and Stacey James-Harlow at the “White Men Can’t Jump” movie premiere!

view all 635 comments

user: my parents

user: damn sorry to hear that

user: they’re so cuuuute!

user: Glad to see they’re still together! I was getting worried especially with reports saying they separated!

user: she’ll never leave that man, same tbh

user: he was never that happy with Y/n

user: goals

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

Liked by yourinsta, icespice, partynextdoor, chubbsview, Beyoncé,SZA, urbanwyatt, druski, and 1,425,116 others

champagnepapi: I would clear a whole town for you 🤞

view all 836 comments

celeb: that’s twin!

celeb: love y’all!

celeb: now when something happens in Kentucky we know who did it 🤣

yourinsta: don’t play bout mine 💕

celeb: wipe that white boy like a snotty!

celeb: yeah they need ass beat

YOURINSTA

liked by selenagomez, saweetie, dojacat, sza, summerwalker, urbanwyatt, flomillishit, 1dessdior and 678,367 others

yourinsta: For him it’s whatever with whoever 🤞

view all 8,457 comments

saweetie: I know that’s right bby!

user: goals

user: yeah fuck Jack and his wife!!

selenagomez: 💕💕💕

user: love seeing you so happy

user: between Drake’s post and this one, I think Jack about to get touched 😵‍💫

SZA: 🤭 kill bill

TMZ_TV

liked by 996,468 users

tmz_tv: Details are scarce, but according to a report on Hollywood Unlocked Jack Harlow was celebrating the release of the White Men Can’t Jump reboot when he was punched in the face.

According to a source, the celebrity-filled after party was going well until Jack Harlow reportedly acted rudely towards wife Stacey James for unknown reasons.

A few guest tried to intervene but the situation got worse. He was confronted about his behavior to his wife and mother of his child.

The source told Hollywood Unlocked that a physical altercation occurred between the guest with Harlow leaving with a “bloodied nose."

view all 13,678 comments

user: HOLY SHIT

user: ovo crew definitely jumped him

user: deserved

user: imagine getting jumped in front of your family I’d cry

user: drake said he’d spin bout y/n and he meant that

user: I think this is just karma

user: what a dick

user: omg can someone check and see if he’s okay

—————————————————————————-

AN: damn that’s crazy 🤪 I’ve missed toxic Jack so much so I wrote this up! Next part of this AU series probably won’t be up until Father’s Day because we still have to find out if Jack had another baby 😳 so much drama

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @laylasbunbunny @ilyangelsxo @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww

[littlx-songbxrd]

Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

[jeromesxreader16]

Such A Joker (43)

Part 42 Here!!!

~o0o~

Jerome POV:

I open my eyes seeing nothing but cemented walls entrapping me. I run my hands along the towering stockades laughing. "Oh, you are incorrigible, but then again, you always were. Oh, wait. Or was that me? Sometimes I get so confused, I... I can't remember."

I look up at the camera and smile widely. "You didn't have to run away like that. I would never hurt you... Xander. I love you. I just know you'd be a good uncle to my future giggling phycos. Can't wait to see ya! You'll get to meet my doll! She's a sweetie, but be careful... She's one hell of a wild card. Did you think about me? I know that you did." I giggle and crawl up close to the camera giggling. "Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!"

Jeremiah POV:

"Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!" I shiver as Jerome chuckles evilly on the screen. I pour another glass of scotch and sigh. "Your sweetie. Your doll, huh?" I hum watching him entertain himself.

"Let me tell you a little about her, brother." I huff plopping in my seat. "She's the most breathtaking angel I've ever seen. Psychotic and beautiful. If she knew I was here, boy, she'd get really mad. Haven't been home to please the lady, you know how that is." He giggles making me clench my fist.

Does he know? Does he have the slightest clue I've cured (y/n), she's sane, and in my protection?

"Jer?" Her small voice echo's from the cemented halls. I turn off the monitors just in time as she walks into the office. She wasn't supposed to wake for 4 more hours. She was supposed to stay asleep until the job was done.

I smile seeing her half-lidded eyes, baggy shirt, and messy hair. "Come here, love." (Y/n) smiles grabbing my hand and sitting upon my lap.

"You're drinking?" She asks cuddling into my frame. I sigh looking at my drink. "I am." "Why? Are you stressed?" I brush her hair back kissing her head. "Jerome went to visit my office today. Killed a lot of my employees." She gazes down at me with sad eyes. "It's not your fault, Jer." I nod understanding.

"How was your nap?"

(Y/n) lifts her head and kisses my cheek. "I had a dream about you." "Yeah? Was I nominated engineer of the year?" "No. We got married, had a beautiful boy with red hair. He was extremely smart." My heart skips as a smile grows on my face. "You dreamt of that? With me?" "Is that a shocker?"

I cup her cheek in my hand and smile. "I just never predicted I would be as lucky to have you in my life." She leans up kissing me. "Well, Jeremiah Valeska, I'm here to stay." I chuckle basking at this moment.

"Sir, you have visitors pulling into the property range." (Y/n) huffs looking into my eyes. "You're always so busy." I brush her hair behind her ear smiling. "It looks like your father has come to visit," I say looking over to the screen from the outside camera. She gasps watching as the car pulls up and two men exit.

Jim POV:

I bang on the metal door sighing. "Have you heard from her anymore?" Harvey asks next to me. "She called telling me she was with her boyfriend." "And she's safe." I shrug fighting the thoughts of danger in my head. "She said she was." Harvey shrugs smiling. "Alright Partner. I just know she's like you. Reckless."

The door opens and a young blond stands to look at us. I flash my badge, "James Gordon here to see Xander Wilde."

~

She leads us down many long hallways full cemented. "So this whole joint's underground?" "Mr. Wilde values his privacy." "How long has he lived here?" "He finished construction six years ago."

She walks up to a door inserting a code. "Echo. 496."

"Welcome, Ms. Ecco." A robotic voice sounds out opening the door. "He'll see you now."

Harvey and I walk in seeing a man with his back turned. "Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Wilde." "I expected you might come, Captain." He turns around and my blood runs cold as the face of insanity looks into my eyes.

Harvey and I pull our guns out aiming it at Jerome.

"My God. There's two of them." Harvey gasps looking over the Valeska brother.

"Dad! Stop!" I look behind me and see my daughter. "(Y/n). What are you doing here? You told me you were with your-" My eyes avert from (y/n) and land on Xander. "Boyfriend."

Xander lets his lips slip into a tiny smile as he nervously looks at the gun. "May I put my hands down now, gentlemen?" I look over at (Y/n) confused. "Are you kidding me? Put your gun down!"

Harvey and I lower our guns as I stare at my daughter as she walks over and makes sure Xander is okay. "Apologies, Mr. Wilde.

You took us by surprise." He nods and smiles at my daughter. "That's understandable. It's happened before."

"You can call me Jeremiah. That's the name my mother gave me. You solved her murder, Captain Gordon. I owe you a debt of gratitude for that and for putting Jerome in Arkham, where he belongs." (Y/n) holds his hand in comfort as he explains. She's not fazed by him talking about what Jerome did. Has she finally let go and found security?

"He never mentioned you before."

"No, I suppose he wouldn't have. From the letters my mother sent me, he never spoke of me after I left."

"Left where?"

"The circus. They hid me away to protect me from him. See, we were always different, Jerome and I. From an early age, I showed a proficiency for maths and design, and Jerome, mainly the mutilation of alley cats. On my tenth birthday, he held a cake knife to my throat. A few weeks later, he lit my bed on fire. It was like living in a nightmare. I'm grateful he was never able to hurt (y/n). My mother knew eventually one day he would succeed, so one night, my uncle came to my room while Jerome slept, and told me that he was taking me away. I had no idea where, but I kissed my mother good-bye, told her I loved her, and I never saw her again."

"He took you to St. Ignatius."

"Got a new name, a new life. And I was finally able to live without fear. But in my heart, I knew one day Jerome would come for me."

"Well, that day is today, pops," Harvey said walking closer.

"What do you mean, Harv?" (Y/n) asks looping her arm with Jerimiah.

I stand closer, explaining. "We have reason to believe Jerome knows where you are. (Y/n), he's already been by your apartment, and now with you here you're in even more danger. We need to move you both to a safe location until we can apprehend him."

Jeremiah shakes his head holding my daughter close. "That won't be necessary, gentlemen. I've spent the bulk of my life preparing for this eventuality. I am the safest here in my home. I can keep (y/n) safer than any secretive location in Gotham." (Y/n) nods looking at us. "He's right, dad. I feel safer here with Jeremiah than the GCPD."

"Not anymore. Jerome knows the name of your proxy. He got it from your boss just before he executed him."

"I heard about Jerome visiting Allen Hayes. It's tragic, but the proxy's name I gave to Allen was a fake."

(Y/n) POV:

As Jeremiah speaks his arm tightens around me causing me to look up at him confused. Why is he so tense?

"You're lying." It hits me as my father says it. I remove myself from his side looking up at him. "I beg your pardon?" I narrow my eyes at him crossing my arms. A liar knows a liar when they see one.

"Jer? What are you hiding?" As his eyes meet mine I see the panic living in them. What has he done? "Jeremiah. Honey, is there something you want to tell me?" He reaches out for me with a shaky hand. "N-no, love. Your father is just intimidating." I hum patting his chest.

Jim and Harvey walk around the small office scanning over the many things scattered over the desk.

"(Y/n). Come here, please." I walk over to my dad sitting on the desk facing away from Jerimiah. "Yeah?" "Why the hell didn't you tell me before?" I roll my eyes sighing, "He's fine. Lord, he can't even hurt a fly." "Besides the point, overprotective father, we get it! Now, let's dig, anything weird about him? Something he could be hiding?" I look back over to Jeremiah as he paces his office fixing his glasses each time they fall to the bridge of his nose.

"He said he's intimidated by you."

"And you believe that?" I scoff lowering my voice. "Of course not."

"Yeah, there's something about this guy that's fishy."

"What about the security cameras outside." "What about them, dad?" "They were turned on, (y/n)." I look over my should looking at the bank screens of the monitors.

"Jeremiah, how come the monitors are off if the cameras are recording?" My dad asks walking closer to Jeremiah as Harvey walks near the monitors.

"I don't see why that's any of your concern, Mr. Gordon. Now, if you excuse me, I'm a very busy man." Jeremiah says stuffing his hands in his pockets. Harvey touches buttons on the monitors trying to find the right on.

"Please don't touch that."

I stand and walk over hitting the small red button causing the TVs to light up with life. "That's very sensitive equipment."

The screens clear and as the pixels match, I cover my mouth locking my eyes onto the screen. Jerome stands in a small room performing yoga. He looks up at the camera and waves causing me to shutter. I turn to Jerimiah with tears brimming my eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I'd say that's pretty damn sensitive." Harvey says watching Jerome.

I storm the short distance to Jeremiah glaring at him. "Why would you do this?" I sneer at him. He closes his eyes with his head leaning towards the floor. "(y/n). I wanted you safe." "And you think by bringing him closer to me was going to keep me safe?"

Jerome's giggle causes me to focus on him. "You know, brother, it has been a while since I've seen my sweets. Say, you wouldn't be keeping her from me, would ya?" My father glares at the screen shaking his head.

"You need to take us to your brother."

"I can't do that."

"What if he's nuttier than the other one?" "Harvey!" "I'm nothing like Jerome."

"You want me to put you in a cell next to his with zero visitation? Because that is where this is heading!" "Dad, stop! Calm down!" I say grabbing my hair in stress.

"And then what, Captain Gordon? You couldn't hold him. Arkham couldn't. I can. And I will make sure Jerome never escapes again. I am making sure he never hurts (y/n) again!"

"Jeremiah, I am thankful for that, but that's not going to work. Jerome comes with us, and if you want to make this easier on yourself, I suggest you stay the hell out of the way." I push myself between my father and Jerimiah. "I get this is a big deal, but this isn't the way to-"

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The loonies are outside."

Harvey points at the monitors showing Scarcrow, Jervis, and Ecco following blindly.

Jeremiah rushes to the screens panicking. "No. No. How'd they find me?"

"They must have followed Jerome."

The lights shut off leaving us in a blood-red hue from the emergency lights. Jeremiah grabs my hand pulling me close to his side.

"We need to move, now. Is there another way out of here?" "Yes, but we-" "You can't leave, Ecco!" I cry in a panic. "The loonies will use her against us, (y/n)!" I shake my head removing myself from Jerimiah's hold. "No. She's my friend and has done so much for me. I'm not letting her die." My father nods placing a hand on my shoulder.

"She's devoted her life to helping Jerimiah. She's too important, dad." He nods looking at Jeremiah and I. "We get you two out first,

then we can come back for her. Deal?" I nod pulling Jeremiah out into the halls.

"As a child, I was obsessed with labyrinths, so I designed my house like one." My dad and Harvey follow close behind. "You mean this place is a maze?" Jeremiah nods leading the way.

"Easy enough to get in; (y/n) and I are the only ones who know the way out. Stay close to me."

We pass another Conor as the maze twists. "The maze is built on a hundred acres. There are 73 dead ends. I once invited the top

maze designers in the country to try to solve it... one did. It took him three days." "Then how did I do it in an hour?" I giggle jogging ahead.

As I round a wall I see Ecco walking towards me. "Ecco! You're alright!" She grabs my neck and slams me against the wall. "Ec- Stop!" I gasp as she clenches my airway shut.

I kneed her in the stomach pushing her away. "Alright. I can play." She lunges at me causing me to doge and swipe her legs knocking her to the ground. She stands up taking me down to the ground.

"Ecco. What are you doing?" Jeremiah rushes as he sees me on the ground.

"Hey, hey, hey, she's hypnotized."

Ecco charges towards him and knocks Jerimiah down. "E-Ecco, it's me. It's me. Ow!" I stand up punching her in the face and knocking her down once more. Jeremiah looks at me surprised. "I didn't know you could do that, love." I laugh breathlessly turning to him quickly as Ecco fights off my dad and Harvey.

I help Jeremiah up but am pushed into the wall as Ecco grabs him and walks in down the hall away from us. "Gordon! Help!"

"Dad!" I yell looking after them. "Come on."

Jeremiah POV:

"Ecco, please. Where are you taking me? (Y/n) will be alone!"

"I'm taking you to Jerome." He speaks in a monotone voice gripping my arms. "No. He'll do horrible things to me. Ecco..."

"Stop!" Detective Bullock yells charging Ecco. Harvey falls and out of nowhere (Y/n) comes from behind the wall pushing Ecco and knocking her out.

I have to say... It was hot!

"Come on!" I grab (y/n) hand and run towards the exit fearful of the end. "Jeremiah, what are you going to do?" He shakes his head breathing heavily. "I don't care. I just want to get you to-"

"Hello, brother." Jerome pops out in front of Jeremiah halting our tracks. Jeremiah blocks my frame holding my wrist tightly. I peer at Jerome with wide eyes. His eyes meet mine and he smirks growing a giggle. "There you are, dollface. I've been searching for you too. Looks like I killed two birds with one stone, huh?" "Jerome I-"

Jerome yanks my arm bringing me close to him. He holds my waist and smiles down at me. "I've missed you." He leans down planting a passionate kiss upon my lips before throwing me behind him. "Whoa! More of that later!" He chuckles before turning back to his brother who is watching my every move with growing worry and rage.

"So, how ya been? Oh, you look great! To think I used to be the handsome one, right? I see you've been taking care of my doll here... Not cool bro." Jerome glares at Jeremiah.

Jeremiah shutters looking down. "How'd you find your way through the maze?"

"Oh, bro, we might not look the same anymore, but we still think the same. Exhibit A!" Jerome gestures to me cackling. "Plus, you used to draw those stupid things all the time as a kid. I paid attention to."

Jerome throws his head back sighing. "I've been waiting for this moment for 15 years. Ever since you ran away in the middle of the night, like a coward."

"You're insane." Jeremiah states.

"And I tried telling Mom, but she didn't want to listen to me. You blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life. But the truth is, Jerome, you were born bad."

Jerome turns to me smirking. "Why the long face, love? Don't worry our little ones won't be as he so rudely says born bad." He pinches my cheek gazing at me with love. My stomach churns as I fight all the past urges to let go of my responsibilities and be with him again, but I couldn't do that the Jer.

Could I?

"So that's why you made her think that I tried to kill you?"

I look over Jerome's shoulder watching as Jeremiah grew more nervous.

He wouldn't have lied about that, right? His own brother?

"What was it again? What was it? I put a blade to your throat. No, no, no, no, no. I tried to... light you on fire!"

"We both know you wanted to!" "Yeah, that was a funny story, wasn't it?" Jerome sneers at his brother. I step out glaring at Jeremiah. "So you did lie to me. You lied about everything." "N-no, (y/n). Jerome did! He's keeping you locked under his belt! He made you think you were crazy for seeing me! Can't you see he doesn't love you as much as I do? I'm trying to protect you!" He cries out reaching for me, but I pull away shaking my head.

"Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but... but I didn't have a choice, and I was right. You killed our mother."

"She did deserve it though. Didn't she, (y/n)? You saw how horrible she was. After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me. Poisoned by your stories. You turned everyone I ever loved it against me. Living proof right here!" Jerom points to me.

I glare at Jeremiah and stand in front of him. "(Y/n)-" I slap him across the face making Jerome laugh and hold me back. "You used me! You only wanted me so you could get back at Jerome! How could you play with my feelings like this? Make me feel like I was crazy? Like I was alone?"

"Alright, firecracker, cool it down! We can talk about punishments later." He pushed me behind him facing Jeremiah again. "Yeah, I guess it's like what they say. We all could go insane with just one bad day. I guess with you, it's more like one bad spray. You'll see."

"What are you gonna do to me, Jerome?"

"Come on. I'm gonna kill you. Of course. But, first, I'm gonna drive you mad. But don't worry, you won't be alone. All of Gotham will be joining you, too. I'll be keeping (y/n) safe, don't worry."

"No, Jerome, Please, let her go and-"

"Must go! Must go! They're after me and the Scarecrow. Sprint with us Ms. Gordon!" Jervis rushes past us grabbing me and pulling me down the hall with them.

"(Y/n)! No!"

As we all jump into a car I can't help but release my pent up laughter. I look over, seeing the other two watch me confused. "Sorry gentlemen. I've had a sane few months. Have to get back into the swing of this!" I push all my emotions of pain and anger away as Jerome sprints towards us.

"Ah, what a night, huh?" He giggles holding me. "What do you say, doll? How about we make this night unforgettable?" I smile at his crazed eyes feeling the light shine within me.

How can I love two men who cause me to act like two separate people?

"I've missed you, Jerome." He cups my cheeks as we drive like madmen down the road. "I sure hope so, (y/n), because you're not leaving me until my end." I lean in sealing the deal with a kiss. "Until the end, Jerome."

[anemonenemerosa]

Omg if you’re taking requests for coops, maybe sirius showing up with a huge bouquet of roses and remus and the team not being able to handle it, or the team trying to stealthily follow them on their first date by like hiding behind pillars and having code names lol. oR sirius asking for the teams help to do something for remus. hope one of these peaks your interest!

Dear Anon,

you have not been forgotten! I just needed a moment to come up with something.

Abort Mission!

He would rather eat a skate than admitting that he's a total sap and yet, here we are.

Remus was lying on a blanket in the middle of a wildflower meadow at the edge of lolligo-lake in the park, surrounded by candles, his head on his boyfrieds lap while being fed strawberries by said boyfried.

He absolutely loved it! And even more, he loved that Sirius obviously loved it. His dopey smile hadn’t left his face since he removed Remus' blindfold on the blanket.  

Little did Remus know that in the nearby shrubbery, a certain Russian tried to not freak-out as a little spider slowly roped down in front of his face.

"Kuny be quiet! They will hear us!" Nado was on edge.

"NADO is spider, might bite us, might be ve- veno... Might be bad!" Kuny whisper-yelled while leaning as far away as possible without leaving the greenery.

"You are 6'4'' Russian terror on legs! Stop getting spooked by a tiny spider."

"But spider..."

"There are no venomous spiders in Gryffindor. Keep calm, love." Nado patted the head of his, secretly very soft and sensitive, flatmate in a calming way.

Nados phone lit up with a message.

 WHAT THEY HELL ARE THE DISASTER TWINS DOING?! THEY WILL BE SEEN! – The coolest Team

Who? – Voice of reason?

Kuny and Nado. – The coolest Team

This night will be over before I have learned that. – Voice of Reason

 On the other side of the completely undisturbed and definitely not spied on couple, Kasey and James were laying flat on the ground between the high grass, binoculars rised.

"See anyone snooping on our precious lovebirds, Kase?"

"You mean except us?"

"Oi! We're not snooping, we protect them. With love. No one dare interrupting my lovesick puppies. I will take them all down before they even come close!!"

"Endearing, Pots. I think I already have like nine ticks at my- Hell no!" Kasey dropped his binoculars and started frantically tapping on his phone.

 I think they have spotted the Voice of Reason! Abort approach! – The coolest Team

Who? – Voice of Reason

YOU! Stir the boat away from the shore before they can make out your faces! – Disaster Twins

Whose idea was it with the stupid code names anyway? – Voice of Reason

Oh, Shut up Dumo, they're brilliant! – The coolest Team

No. No, they're not. – Lovebirds

It's Talker here and they are brilliant! – Voice of Reason

NO! Do not betray me! – Voice of Reason

Nicknames is fun. Not have much fun here! Spider try kill us! – Disaster Twins

Oh, hell xD – Lovebirds

 "Oh my god, this is gold!" Leo sniggered and leaned out of the giant hammock they've installed the day prior in the crown of a large weeping willow, directly above Remus and Sirius.

He and his two boys were scheduled to keep an overview of proceedings and who would say no to a night out in a hammock with the hottest guys of the NHL, which just so happened to be his boyfriends? Even if the occasion was absolutely ludicrous, he was in.

"But the codenames are bad." Logan put his binoculars down to rub at his eyes.

"Well, Pots came up with them, what did you expect?"

"True." Logan yawned and carefully rolled over to bury his face in Finns chest.

"It's funny in Potty's flat and stupid sense of humour. I Mean Lovebirds. Us. In the tree. In a Hammock that resembles a nest. Not subtle but entertaining."

"Shut up Fish." The other two groaned in unison.

"What is that?" Leo sat up, making grabby hands for Logan's spy glasses.

"What?" Finn peaked up, too.

"Over there, near Kuny and Nado"

"You mean the disaster twins?"

"Finn you're sleeping in your own bed tonight." Leo was getting a little irritated with these stupid, overcomplicating names. Potter!

"Ok."

"Alone."

"NOOOOOOO!" Finn was a man! He would never whine! But he did.

"Then shut up, there are people coming! Logan, send an alert."

 Hey, Nado there is a group of teenage girls approaching! – Lovebirds

Oh no. And it’s Disaster Twins. – The coolest team

 And sure, when Nado turned around there was a gaggle of gushing girls ducking a few feet away in the same bushes, peaking out to get a glimpse at the unsuspecting couple in the meadow. Nado tried to stand very still while also looking intimidating wnough to scare the girly away. If I don't move, they won't see me. Just like in Jurassic Park.

"Nado."

"Nado."

"Nado."

"WHat?" This time, it was the addressee's turn to whisper-yell.

"I'm think is too much same." Kuny quietly fidgeted with his hands.

"What?"

"They and we. Should feel bad for snooping on cap. We just like girls."

"Kuny, we do not snoop. We protect!"

"Sure?"

"...no." Nado, veeery slowly, turned to his phone.

 Hey guys, you think we've taken this too far? -Disaster Twins

Why, what would ever make you think that? - Lovebirds

WE. NEED. TO. PROTECT. – The coolest Team

And who is gonna protect them from you? Or... us? – The voice of Reason

OH SHIT! One of the girls in the shrubbery is Adele!!!! – Disaster Twins

Has she seen you? – Voice of Reason

ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSON! – The coolest Team

My end is near. Farewell, friends. It was tolerable knowing you. – Voice of Reason

RIP Dumo. - Lovebirds

 After watching the others flee the scene, more or less stealthily, Leo turned to Finn and Logan.

"Think we're we done now?"

"Seems like it." Finn just shrugged.

"Then let's go home."

"We can't." Logan stopped mid getting up and looked at Leo.

"Why?"

"Caps and Loops cannot not notice us climbing down the tree directly besides them. And so far, I think we might be the safest of them all."

"Right." Logan plopped down again.

"Well... We have blankets, it's a mild night with a clear sky..." Finn just noticed airily. And continued with a little smile while his boys were following along with interest.

"We're together..."

"Rather romantic up here isn't it, with the branches like curtains..." Leo continued with bright eyes.

"Might make the best out of it?" Logan patted suggestively at his side.

"YES!!!" Leo exclaimed in a very quiet whoop and flung himself between the others.

  Little did Remus know... Or, did he?

  Three days earlier...

  Remus created HELP!

 Re added Lils to the group-chat.

Re added Nat to the group-chat.

 Sweetie, what's the matter? - Nat

Sirius and I will have our first official date in three days. - Re

Yes, baby! - Nat

Whoooo! - Lils

What do you need? - Lils

They are up to something. - Re

Who? - Nat

Potts and Kase. - Re

What do you mean? - Nat

Yes, they are. - Lils

What do you know lils? - Re

James is too excited. Somethings Fishy. - Lils

You think Finn is in there, too? - Re

xD - Nat

Not what I meant, but most likely. Yeah. - Lils

But why? - Nat

I don't know. - Lils

Hey, let's add Celeste. She can read Dumo like a book and if Finn is involved, Logan is, too. - Nat

...And then Dumo knows... and then Celeste knows. - Lils

Correct! - Nat

 Remus added Celeste to the group-chat

 Bonsoir messieurs dames! What is the occasion? - Celeste

Remus and Sirius are going to have a date and some of the other idiots are up to something, you know something? - Lils

HEY! - Re

You are not an idiot, love but you boyfried.... -Lils

... Fair. - Re

Ohhhh, that is happening. Pascal is very excited! Je suis content pour toi, Remus. - Celeste

Thank you, Celeste <3 But do you know whether they are planning some nerve-racking stuff to destroy my moment? - Re

I will not let that happen! - Celeste

Leave it to us, sweetie, we're gonna stop them. - Nat

Oh, I don't want them to stop. - Re

Really? - Lils

I want them to regret. - Re

LOVE IT! - Nat

YES! I'm in. - Lils

Absulemont. - Celeste

I love you all. - Re

  Two hours before the date...

  Everything is ready. – Nat

Thank you!!! – Re

You get an update after your date. - Lils

Adele is ready and wants you to know that she got it. Now go and don't worry ma chérie. - Celeste

Alright :D Love you! - Re

  The morning after the date...

 When Kuny and Noda arrived at the locker room, about five minutes late, they were in for a shock. Every stall of the 'Mission protect- squad' was plastered with photographs of them spying. The guys that politely declined any involvement were chirping them badly for being that bad in secrecy.

They would probably never hear the end of it.

 Although, no pictures of O'Knutzy were taken during the mission, there were indeed pictures of them setting up the hammock.

Sirius and Remus were nowhere to be seen... the quiet was freaking them more out than any yelling ever could.

And then, it came down on them. Cap and Loops were already waiting on the ice with snacks for the team and death-drills for the assholes.

 "We'll never do that again!"

"Snooping on our Cap and PT? No, they are too much of a powerful combination."

"But how did they get all the photos?"

"Adele." Dumos face was crestfallen.

"But that means-" Nado piqued up while rubbing his sore ass.

"Celeste." Dumo nodded. 

"Oh, hell." Leo muttered while he and Finn dragged an almost passed-out Logan along. If his exclamation concerned that or the evil genius of Dumo's wife, no one knew.

"Probably Lily and Natalie, too." James and Kasey were leaning against each other.

"No chance. Too smart." Kuny shook his head while he softly kneaded Nados shoulders.

"Caps and Loops are gonna pay for that mean trickery." The desperation on Dumo's face was replaced with utter determination.

"I've pranked people before they were even out of their diapers! With my own wife, nontheless! Je n'accepterai pas la défaite!"

 "What have we done...."

 I really hope you like it!

Writing it was a lot of fun. I would never laugh at my own jokes.

As always stay safe and channel your inner Hufflepuff <3

[whengreenmeetsbrown]

Here you go! Chapter two for y’all!

Era: Marauders

Ships: Jily and Wolfstar and a bit of Dorlene.

Year: 6th year

Chapters: 2/?

———————————————————————————————————————

Chap#02

“Now as I’ve bored you young lot with my long speech, let the feast begin!” Dumbledore announced as he sat down, smiling and waving at the first years as they chattered wildly.

“Marl, pass me the tart please.”

“Zoe! What are you doing with the salt and pepper?”

“Nothing flower! Just-“

“Put. It. Down.”

The Marauders looked at the girls and chuckled. But their attention was diverted as the plans for the party started.

“Should we bring Firewhiskey along with Butterbear?” Peter asked.

“Of course! What’s a party without some alcohol?” Sirius smirked.

“But if we get caught I-“ Remus started but was cut off by James; and when Sirius slowly touched his thigh.

“Moony! You were the one who stopped Evans from ruining our party!”

“Ye-yeah. Okay.” The werewolf stuttered, words not coming out now and staring fiercely at his secret boyfriend. He just smiled mischievously and continued eating.

“James!” A voice called out as he turned around. It was Bella Jones, as she smiled and walked from the Ravenclaw table to the Marauders.

“Bella! How are you doing?” James said as they hugged.

“I’m fine, completely alright.” She said, waving at the friends.

Sirius looked at her and said, “Who’s this pretty young lady then?” Then turned to James and winked. He rolled his eyes as the girl giggled and linked his arms with hers.

“James never told you about me? Shame on you!” She said laughing, her straight hair falling on her brown eyes. “We’re childhood friends! Our parents were friends and lived in the same neighbourhood. So as the boy here was really friendly, I decided to become one!”

“That’s really nice.” Remus nodded his head.

On the other side of the table, Lily narrowed her eyes as she looked at Bella coming from the table. She was a very good and intelligent friend of Lily’s and she liked her. But did she know Potter? They were laughing and smiling and hugging and linking arms and it won’t be a surprise if they start-

“Earth to Lily?”

“Hm?” She looked at Dorcas as her eyes snapped back to focus.

“Am I wrong or were you just staring at James?”

Lily scoffed, “I’m staring at Potter? James Potter?” She laughed sarcastically. “Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not remember what he did to me last year?”

“Well he technically did it no Snape not you.” Marlene pointed out.

“That’s not the point! He ruined our friendship!”

“Your friendship was doomed from the start.” Zoey said munching on her chicken.

“Zoe! Again that’s-“

“If I’m not wrong he still has a big fat crush on you, so you should get to work.”

“I’m sorry what?” Lily exclaimed. “He isn’t crushing on me, he just wants a little bird who he’ll throw after a month, just like he does to all the heartbroken Gryffindor girls out there.”

Suddenly Dorcas banged on the table lightly fortunately not getting attention from the Marauders who were laughing with Bella.

“You listen to me Lily Evans.” She growled surprising her friends. “I know a genuine smile when I see one. I have seen the way the poor boy stares at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, his eyes full of adoration and sincerity. You won’t get to see these later on when there’s a bloody war and we’ll all be dying one by one.”

Lily stared at her friend in shock. Dorcas was the positive one out of them, soft smiles, sweet and kind. She could be a Hufflepuff except bravery outshone it all. Now she was giving her a lecture about snagging some boy before all of them die. Amazing.

“Calm down Dora.” Marlene said in a soothing voice. You could always count on the blonde to add water to the fire. Marlene McKinnon was the girl who could be a total badass. The strong and independent one who already knew her career at the age of sixteen. The best chaser there was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Potter liked her best(not including his crush on Lily of course) because she was witty in her own way. But when it came to Dorcas, she became a cat, purring and cute and nice. Dora was her nickname for Dorcas as they were childhood friends and knew each other longer. Oh and of course they were in love with each other.

Lily slouched down on her seat. “Yeah you’re right. I should give him a chance. When he stops being such a pain in the ass.”

Zoey laughed, snorting and all. Her laugh was contagious as her friends laughed alongside. This particular person was Lily’s best friend, the one she could pour out all her secrets to. Zoey was a carefree person who only cared about eating and partying and all about boys. She was the only one Lily could actually go for some ‘boy advice’ sometimes as Dorcas and Marlene were clearly interested in each other which meant they were interested in girls.

“Okay see you then guys. Bye!”

Lily turned and saw the Ravenclaw leaving the table. The boys looked at her then at James. “Moving over Lily then?” She heard Remus asked.

James just sat down shrugging. “I am already over Lily.”

The three boys rolled their eyes. “Of course you are.”

At her own table Lily blushed a bit but she didn’t know why. He was a prat so why was she suddenly flattered by it? God help me.

“Moony I need to talk to you for a bit, mind coming with me?” Sirius said.

“Yeah sure.” Remus said absentmindedly, putting a last bit of bread in his mouth.

“See you in the dormitories then?” James raised his eyebrows at this, he could definitely smell something fishy but what?

The boys walked outside the Great Hall and they barely exited when they were pulled in an empty classroom. This wasn’t Sirius oh no, this was the werewolf who was suddenly overcome by the urge to suddenly kiss his boyfriend. He pushed him against the door and closed it, before kissing him feverishly.

Sirius responded such as enthusiastically and enjoyed it too. It was long before they had precious time together being in secret and all. They had decided to tell their best friends but it... it was difficult coming out at the same time so they waited for the right moment. Remus was just getting warmer and warmer until-

“I’m sure it was here somewhere.”

“Shouldn’t we check in the classroom it might be there?”

“Yeah that’s not a bad idea!”

The boys broke apart and looked at each other nervously. Quickly fixing their clothes and hair, the two sat down and pretended to talk to each other seriously.

“Oh Remus! And Sirius too! What are you doing here?” It was Marlene along with Zoey. The boys laughed.

“We were talking about Moony’s health of course.”

“Oh is he alright?” Zoey inquired.

“Yep. I just had a fever in the last few days. Nothing serious.”

With this Sirius smirked and was about to retreat when the girls interrupted.

“Yeah I can’t find the thing here. Let’s go Zoey. See you later boys!” Marlene said quickly glancing at the pair.

With that they were gone. “Let’s be careful next time hm?”

“Life is all about risks love.”

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO

Ep 1:

• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys

• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"

• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual

• One of the main guys in this is HOT

• In a basic white dude way

• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT

• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho

• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE

• ADINA PORTER

• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR

• His face is too small for his head

• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since

• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch

Ep. 2

• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes

• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job

• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"

• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying

• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE

• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING

• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc

• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name

• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT

• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN

• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck

• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS

• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom

• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???

• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS

• Why is this so dramatic

• Like for whaaaaat

• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me

• John B. is growing on me

• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore

• Oh no Ward is HOT

• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em

• John B runs weird????

• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES

• Cue Poppy's Voicemail

• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"

• FUCK THE POLICE

• don't give it to her John B

• ACAB

• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!

• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering

• A snake!

• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB

• And now Kie is going into the grave

Ep. 3

• There would be spiders everywhere realistically

• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO

• Ah it's just grave diggers

• JJ. Is so. Dumb.

• Fuck bro I'm cryin

• Pope is an angel

• Sarah needs to shut up

• Her sister also needs to shut up

• TO THE BIG KAHUNA

• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace

• ONLY 900 FEET

• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly

• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless

• Sarah's brother???

• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT

• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is

• ANOTHER CLICHE

• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.

• Always gotta help the young pretty girl

• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart

• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ

• That is a human hand

• They're gonna get hurt lmao

• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?

• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb

• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK

• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!

• "Tastes like bananas"

• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this

• POPE LIKES KIE

• Dead bodies oh yeah

• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS

• Ofc Rafe is causing problems

• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment

• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE

• Those surfing shots are cool

• Little fishies

• Pope is so cute and adorable

• THAT'S A BIG STORM

• Uh uh, no thank you

• They're gonna lose the camera

• Do you ever have anxiety

• Oh shiiiit there she is

Ep. 4

• John B has pretty freckles

• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)

• Wait how old is he, even?

• HE DO BE RUNNIN

• Poor Jorge

• That was a very fake jump

• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob

• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof

• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY

• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?

• He slapped her hand I'm crying

• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business

• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM

• This is so messy

• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy

• Rafe def likes Kie

• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit

• Ward was poor once too, wah wah

• John B is going crazy

• Well the sharks didn't do shit

• Ofc they're going shopping

• "I'll sugar mama you"

• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension

• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch

• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub

• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges

• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT

• JJ I LOVE YOU

• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU

Ep. 5

• So there was a kiss. Nice.

• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad

• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

• I wanna hug JJ so bad

• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

• DIRTY COPS

• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE

• I hope Rafe d*es

• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor

• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM

• Denmark Tanny was a G

• John B do B lyin

• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows

• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING

• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS

• ahhhh drinking and driving love it

• Topper is about to do some moronic shit

• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick

• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER

• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure

• He's spilling his heart out rn

• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE

• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again

• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone

• BRO HE JUST FELL????

• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?

• He's gonna be a KOOK

• UH UH, WARD IS SUS

[writings-of-the-unkown]

Questions Are Best Dealt With Love

request status: yes

pairing: Hope Solo x Reader

Y/N- your name

Y/M- your middle name

Y/L- your last name

Y/P- your position at company

Y/C- your company/employer

This told from Hope’s pov

Warning: GAY (sorry not sorry :|),tooth-rotting fluff

 Words: 1725

A/N: THIS IS FICTION ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

THUD

I rolled out of bed as soon as my brain registered the noise. I was at the top of the stairs when I heard my girlfriend call out to her four year old.

“Maria Margaret Y/L! Don’t make me count!” My girlfriend yelled at her daughter. 

I treadded down the stairs so I hopefully wouldn’t contribute to Y/N’s anger this morning. Maria is Y/N’s four year old daughter from a previous relationship. I started dating Y/N about two years ago and I just moved in with her and Maria under a year ago. Y/N wanted to wait for me to move in with them until Maria was old enough to somewhat understand what was going on. 

I made my way into our kitchen and spotted Maria running circles around the island and Y/N chasing after her. Maria didn’t see me and in turn slammed into my legs. I picked her up and and put her in her chair. Y/N looked like she was gonna cry. I wrapped her in a bear hug, she laid her head on my chest. 

“Why does she have to do this now? I don’t have time for this today” my girlfriend mutter into my chest.

I lifted her head so she was looking me in the eyes.

“Baby, I’ll take care of her. You just focus on giving the best possible presentation” I whispered.

“Have I told you that I love you recently?” She asked as a smile spread across her face.

“Yeah but you can say it again” I laughed.

“Well then, I love you” She leaned up and gave me a kiss. She is a few inches shorter than me.

“Ew!” I felt something hit my head.

We broke apart and both looked to Maria. She was no longer wearing both shoes. 

“I’m done” Y/N grabbed her travel coffee mug and headed towards the door. I followed her that way I could close the door after her.

“Bye, I love you both! Try not to kill each other while I’m gone” she blew kisses at both of us as I closed the door behind her.

Maria ran to the window so she could see Y/N pull away from our house. We waved to her as she headed to change lives. 

“Okay Squirt, now that your momma is gone, what do you wanna do?” I asked her after her attention left the window.

“Fishys! Fishys!” She chanted. 

“Okay, let me go get dressed and we can go see the fish” I said as I carried her upstairs. She giggled.

I threw her onto our bed and I noticed Y/N’s German Shepherd, Ace, hopped up on the bed. He climbed into Maria’s lap and curled up. I headed to the closet to grab a t-shirt and shorts. The shirt I grabbed was one of Y/N’s workplace. She is a Y/P at Y/C. 

I finished getting dressed and came out of the closet. Maria was propped up against pillows, had Ace and Astro, Y/N’s other dog, a Doberman, sleeping on her. I smiled at them while I took a mental picture.

I got Maria up and we got ready to go. We made our way out to the car and I got her buckled in her seat. I opened my door, threw my purse on the passenger seat and started the car. Slowly I backed out of the garage. 

“Hopey? Can we listen to our song?” I heard Maria ask from behind me.

“Of course, Mimi” I said as I turned on Maria’s favorite song. Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride.

I glanced back at her through the rear view mirror and she was swaying to the beat. I couldn’t help but smile. In what felt like no time at all, we pulled into the members parking lot of the Seattle Aquarium. Y/N has a membership to the aquarium for Maria, so after I got her out of her car seat we headed to the gate.

She was bouncing on the balls of her feat with excitement. When it was our turn to get in, I gave them the membership card as well as my drivers license. We got the nod of approval and Maria started pulling on my hand. 

“Mimi! Wait up, Sweetheart!” I called to her. 

I finally caught up to her in front of the entrance to the dolphins.

“Can we go there Hopey?” She asked me very hopefully.

“Of course, Mimi. The day is yours” she pulled me towards the dolphins.

She ran right up to the glass viewing window and laid a hand on the glass. A dolphin swam over, obviously intrigued by Maria standing at the window. She giggled as the dolphin did flips in front of her. I stood near the back of the room and took a picture of her and the dolphin.

A young boy came up next to Maria and his mom was standing next to me.

“You’re so cute with your daughter. She’s lucky to have a mom that takes off work to go to the aquarium with her” she said.

“Well, actually. Maria is my girlfriend’s daughter and she had to work today so I offered to spend the day with her” I replied.

“Oh, then she is lucky to have you” she reworded. 

“Is that your son?” I asked her.

“Yeah, Lucas James. I’m Sara”.

“Hope,” I stuck out my hand for a handshake.

Sara returned the gesture. We talked for a bit, until Lucas got restless watching one species of animal for as long as he had been. I said goodbye to Sara and continued to watch Mimi play with the dolphins.

An aquarium employee came over to Maria and asked if she wanted to go topside if the exhibit. She ran over to me and the employee told me the same things she told Maria. Maria looked at me with pleading eyes. I couldn’t help but say yes to her. 

“Bye the way, my name is Lauren and I’ve been here at the aquarium for just about five years now. I am one of our dolphin trainers here and I couldn’t help but notice your daughter’s enthusiasm for our dolphins” she said as she lead us to a door that was labeled “No Unauthorized Entry Beyond This Point, Staff Only”. 

Lauren lead us to an elevator that took us above the exhibit. She had us follow her, step into a disinfectant to help prevent the dolphins from getting sick, and then we’d be able to meet the dolphins.

“We have four dolphins here, they are all bottlenose dolphins. All of them were deemed non-releasable, so we gave them a forever home. We have two males and two females. Our two boys are Haku, he’s our oldest dolphin here, and our youngest is Kaiko. Our two girls are Ailani, our oldest female and she and Haku are mates. Kaiko is their son. Where as Akeela, our newest dolphin here, was rescued about a year ago and we placed Akeela with Ailani and Haku”. 

Maria was so excited to meet the dolphins that she just ignored Lauren.

The doors opened to reveal a beautiful topside of the exhibit. I was in awe of the trainers and everyone working with these creatures. 

“If you want to follow me this way, you can meet Akeela” Lauren gestured. 

We were at the edge of the pool and Lauren leaned over to another trainer.

“Hi! I’m Erin, I work very closely with Akeela. If you want to step down onto this platform, I will call Akeela over” Erin said. 

Maria walked over to the edge of the main floor. Erin was already on the platform. She looked to me for permission to touch Mimi and bring her down to the ledge. I nodded to her. She grabbed Mimi and set down her down next on the ledge. I used the ladder that was next to me. 

Erin whistled for Akeela. The dolphin swam over with enthusiasm. Mimi was bouncing with excitement. 

“Here, put your hand out. Just like this” Erin showed Maria how to hold her hand out for Akeela.

Akeela propelled herself out of the water and tapped Mimi’s hand. Mimi let out a giggle.

What felt like hours upon hours passed until Mimi finally got bored of the dolphins and we headed back down to the main floor of the aquarium. Mimi dragged me again but this time towards the jellyfish. She was pressed up against the glass, where as I found a ledge on the back wall and sat down. I pulled out my phone and went to post on Instagram.

I finally was able to drag Mimi away from the different exhibits, she was fighting to keep her eyes open. I pushed open the door that leads from the garage to the house. My bag dropped from my hands and my feet shuffled to the couch. As soon as my but hit the couch, my eyes started to fight the losing battle against sleep deprivation. A weight dropped onto my chest and I saw my favorite little girl. She leaned her head against my chest, I felt her breathing even out. I soon followed suit. 

When I woke, Maria wasn’t on my chest. I started to panic, until I saw Y/N’s work bag near the door and the love of my life making dinner with her daughter. I checked my phone and saw that Y/N posted a picture of me and Maria.

I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face. I knew what to do.

I wrapped my hands around her waist and I lied my head on her shoulder. 

“Marry me?”

“What?” she spun around so that she was now facing me.

“You heard me, Y/N Y/M Y/L. You are the love of my life. Today proved that to me. I know that your life revolves around Maria, so here to help settle your nerves. Mimi, I would like to marry your momma. Is that okay with you?” I faced her, she nodded. I looked back to Y/N, I continued, “Now that Mimi is on board, you are the love of my life. Please, would you make me the happiest person alive and marry me?”

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

October 21, 2020

Heather Cox Richardson

As we enter the home stretch to this election, we are bombarded with so much news the only way to make sense of it is to divide it into categories.

The president is angry and self-pitying while campaign officials are trying to tip the election with the dubious laptop story. Administration officials are also working as quickly as they can to push through whatever they can while they are still in power, hoping what they are doing flies under the radar with so much going on. And this flurry of activity means there are bad slips.

At the same time, Democratic candidate Joe Biden is trying to get elected, but in such a storm of crazy that his actual policies, which are quite developed, are simply not getting much airtime. Instead, people have begun to look to him as a return to an America in which strength was measured not by dominance but by caring.

The president began the day by tweeting about Biden’s proposed tax plan, which he calls “the Radical Biden-Harris Agenda.” He claims that the plan will “slash the typical American’s income by $6,500 per year. They will raise TAXES by $4 TRILLION DOLLARS – triggering a mass exodus of jobs out of America and into foreign countries…. Your 401k’s will crash with Biden. Massive Biden Tax and Regulation increases will destroy all that you have built! Additionally, 180 Million People will lose their Private Healthcare Plans.”

In fact, though, it is the administration that is talking about slashing things, including millions of dollars from Democratic-led cities that Trump and Barr have labeled “anarchist jurisdictions”: New York City; Portland, Oregon; Washington, D.C.; and Seattle, Washington. That money would cut federal grants for coronavirus relief, HIV treatment, newborn screening, and so on. Officials from the affected cities, as well as the U.S. Conference of Mayors, say they will sue if the administration tries to follow this through.

In a move that threatens to destroy our nonpartisan civil service, Trump today signed an Executive Order creating a new category of public servant who is not covered by normal rules. These employees can be hired by agency heads without having to go through the merit-based system in place since 1883, and can be fired at will. This new “Schedule F” will once again allow presidents to appoint cronies to office, while firing those insufficiently loyal. It also appears to shield political appointees from an incoming administration by protecting them from firing because of political affiliation.

Yesterday, an inspector general for the United States Postal Service issued a report requested by Congress examining the effects of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy’s changes to the postal service. The report concluded that the changes resulted in “significant negative service impacts across the country.” DeJoy is a Trump loyalist. The USPS Board of Governors, made up of Trump appointees, rejects the report’s conclusions.

Meanwhile, a number of senior administration officials and lawmakers from both parties are worried that the White House is fast-tracking a business deal worth billions of dollars in what is essentially a no-bid contract to a company associated with Republican operatives, including Karl Rove. The company, Rivada, wants to lease the Department of Defense’s mid-band spectrum. This spectrum is wildly valuable for the 5G market, the next-generation mobile network. Pentagon leaders are opposed to the deal since the military uses that spectrum, and they say they have not been able to study the effect of commercial use of the spectrum on military readiness. Pentagon lawyers say the White House has no authority to sell or lease its spectrum. Lawmakers of both parties oppose the deal. One senior official told CNN, “Something is really fishy about this.”

Today, Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe blamed Iran for hacked emails purporting to come from the alt-right Proud Boys warning Democrats to vote for Trump. Ratcliffe said “we have identified that two foreign actors, Iran and Russia, have taken specific actions” relating to the election. He said the emails were designed to hurt Trump. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) told Rachel Maddow that intelligence officers in a classified briefing about the matter did not, in fact, say that there was any attempt to hurt Trump. “I’m surprised that Ratcliffe would say that to the public…. I had the strong impression it was much rather to undermine confidence in elections….”

Meanwhile, Trump continues to push the laptop story. He is reportedly considering firing FBI director Christopher Wray after the election because Wray has refused to announce an investigation into Biden, his son Hunter Biden, or other Biden associates. After Wray’s refusal to back up Trump’s insistence that this summer’s violence was from “Antifa,” the FBI director’s unwillingness to announce a Biden investigation is apparently infuriating the president. In 2016, then FBI director James Comey announced a new investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails just 11 days before the election, an announcement political scientists say helped to swing victory to Trump. While the president can, in fact, fire an FBI director, it is unusual, and certainly should not happen because the director refuses to attack the president’s political rival. The term of the FBI director is set at 10 years so the director serves at least two presidents, and is not bound to the political cycle.

Trump is railing not just at Wray, but also at Attorney General William Barr. Trump was counting on Barr’s probe of the Russia investigation to implicate high-ranking members of the Obama administration just before the election, but Barr has backed off on delivering the report. Trump is frustrated, recently retweeting a photo of Barr with the caption “for the love of GOD ARREST SOMEBODY.” Barr has been staying out of the news lately, although he was in Memphis, Tennessee, today, announcing arrests made there under his Operation Legend, the name for the police crackdown in a number of cities announced in July.

Pushing the story of Hunter Biden’s laptop got a lot more difficult today when Sacha Baron Cohen revealed that his new Borat film shows Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani—the source of the laptop-- in a compromising position with a young woman. Giuliani insists the scene is a “complete fabrication,” but the stills I saw (and I was trying really hard not to see any of this) indicate that this explanation will convince only those determined to be convinced. As many observers have pointed out, if Baron Cohen could prank Giuliani so easily, what does that say about how well Giuliani could identify foreign influence operations?

For his part, Biden is acting like a normal presidential candidate, which just doesn’t grab the headlines the way Trump’s actions do. After Trump attacked Biden’s tax policy, though, a number of stories noted the actual terms of the plan.

Biden proposes to raise taxes on the wealthy. He would get rid of some of the 2017 Trump tax cuts, including the cut in the income tax rate for people making more than $400,000 a year. Trump cut that rate from 39.6% to 37%. Biden would put it back where it was. This change would affect fewer than 10% of taxpayers. People would also pay into the Social Security payroll tax for incomes over $400,000. That tax is currently collected only on $137,700 of earnings. Under this plan, the nation’s top 1% of earners would bring home about 15.9% less money after taxes than they do now.

Biden also proposes to raise the corporate tax rate from 21% to 28%, and establish a 15% minimum tax on the so-called “book income” of a corporation, that is, the amount its directors report to shareholders, which often makes a corporation look quite profitable while it pays little or no tax. He would also increase taxes on international profits. These proposed taxes would make up more than half of the revenue the Treasury would see from the new measures.

The Biden proposals would raise between $2.4 and $4 trillion over a decade. The Penn Wharton Budget Model concludes that the top 1% of earners would pay about 80% of the tax increases. Its report continues: “All groups outside of the top 5%... see their after-tax incomes fall by less than 1 percent.” The Washington Post awarded four Pinocchios to Trump’s attacks on Biden’s tax plan. The Tax Foundation could not score Trump’s own plan because he has made no actual proposals.

Biden had powerful help today getting out his message. Former President Barack Obama, who has largely stayed out of the political fray, has reentered it powerfully. In a speech in Philadelphia, Obama directly attacked Trump, tearing apart his successor’s response to the coronavirus and his administration in general. No one gets under Trump’s skin like Obama does, and the former president seemed to be deliberately needling the president, perhaps to prod him to more self-destruction at tomorrow’s debate.

His appearances were not just attacks on Trump, though. They were reminders of what the presidency looked like just four years ago, and they were designed to make sure people get to the polls. “We’ve got to turn out like never before,” President Obama said. “We cannot leave any doubt in this election…. A whole bunch of people stayed at home and got lazy and complacent. Not this time,” he said. “Not in this election.”

Still, what made most news for Biden today was an old video of the former vice president at a memorial service for Chris Hixon, the athletic director at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, who died when he tried to disarm the killer. In the clip, which circulated widely on social media, Biden expresses his sympathy to Hixon’s parents and is walking away when Hixon’s son Corey, who has Kabuki Syndrome, runs up and, as Biden turns to see what’s happening, throws himself into Biden’s embrace. Biden spontaneously kisses the young man’s forehead and asks if he’s okay. When he shakes his head no, Biden hugs him, cradling his head, and reassures him, “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay, I promise.”

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

Heather Cox  Richardson

[thanksjro]

The Prequel

Eugenesis has a prequel, in the form of a 13-page comic called Liars, A-to-D, laying out the groundwork for what’s to come. If the title sounds familiar, it’s probably because it was reused in the first MTMTE storyline, covering issues #1-3. Roberts likes a little recycling, he does. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The art is more or less on-par for what one might have seen in the original cartoon, only it’s black and white. There’s a few points where the posing gets a little funky, but I can still tell who’s supposed to be who for the most part, and that’s pretty impressive for a colorless Transformers comic. Quality isn’t the crispest, but that’s most likely due to the scan I have.

This comic starts with a cold open, stating that 56 million years ago, the first Cybertronians sprung from the metal of the planet- the narration calls it “spontaneous evolution” and that it “just happened.” The narration seems to have trouble grappling with the vast number of chance events that go on, covering the “spontaneous" eruption of Mt. Hilary that lead to the Autobots being repaired and restored after four million years on Earth.

Oh, hey, Prowl.

Then we contrast these things that “just happened”, with something that, in the narrator’s opinion, didn’t “just happen”; at the signing of a treaty in the far-flung year of 2302, Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Springer, and Soundwave are all at the pulpit, with millions of spectators looking on. Suddenly, a whole city street just shows up out of nowhere, and full of ‘bots who are scared out of their wits. The event is brushed off as “spontaneous materialization”, but our narrator- who’s been revealed at this point to be Ultra Magnus, if the art is anything to go by- doesn’t agree. He certainly hopes that this isn’t what this is.

BOOM. 12/21/12, just like I said it would happen. And hey! It’s James Roberts! That guy this blog is following through these writings. Good to know he’s actually here now.

I tried looking up Matt Dallas and Graham Thomson, but didn’t get much on either of them. I’m guessing they didn’t do a whole lot in this vein after this publication.

Star Saber is in this, apparently. Can’t wait to see him, and what he’s bringing to the table. I, truthfully, don’t know a whole lot about Star Saber, outside of the IDW comics, so I’m genuinely interested to see what he’s like.

Our first shot within the prequel proper is of space debris floating over the planet Cybertron, with a weather report. That tells me something’s going to fall out of the sky at some point. Call it a hunch.

I’d call it “understanding foreshadowing as a concept”, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.

We cut to a television broadcast of Galvatron, who’s encouraging ‘bots to join the Decepticons. It’s a hell of a recruitment video, being broadcasted everywhere, even underground, where the Autobots are hiding. There’s even a call number. Chromedome asks Prowl if he should give it a ring, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that’s such a great idea.

For some reason, Prowl has this little ring floating above his head in these panels, and I keep reading it as a halo. As far as I know, he’s not dead, so I don’t know why this is happening. Unfortunate framing against the background, perhaps, but the backgrounds in this scene are all pretty blocky, so that doesn’t make a ton of sense either.

Oh, hey, Chromedome. How’s the hubby? You’re looking very Headmaster-y today.

Meanwhile, at the recording studio, it’s revealed that Galvatron wasn’t making that call to action at all- it was a puppet, all part of a rig set up by Soundwave, in the light of Galvatron not having spoken to anyone in ages, presumably in some sort of comatose state.

Now, surely I mean an actor when I say puppet, right?

No. No, I don’t.

I love how awkward everyone looks here. You have the guy with the clap board, who’s obviously never used one in his life, just standing off to the side waiting for some direction, the guy working the puppet who looks like he’s about to drop their great leader’s torso on national television, and Gun Guy. Soundwave really knows how to pick ‘em. I know it isn’t an ideal situation, but a little more upper body strength on the puppeteer would make things go a lot smoother.

Also, hot tip: if you have to use the word “subjugate” when talking about your cause, that means you’re on the wrong side of history, my dude. No non-evil group would ever use that terminology. I know the Decepticons are still cartoonishly evil at this point, but geezum crow, that’s a bit on the nose.

We get another weather report, then check in on our dear Prime, Rodimus, who’s in the middle of an exorcism- his own, to be precise. It doesn’t go anywhere, and Kup interrupts him having what looks like a seizure as he tries fruitlessly to get Unicron out of his body.

Meanwhile, in Helex, what was supposed to be a routine surveillance mission isn’t turning out so hot. The Autobots and Decepticons are at a standoff on a bridge. It ends poorly for just about everyone- some guy gets his head blown clean off! Sixshot is about to make a killing blow, when he’s crushed under a massive chunk of space metal.

Up in the skies, an Autobot ship is being chased by everyone’s favorite time-traveling pals, Cyclonus and Scourge. Scourge is looking extra boaty today.

…Cyclonus, you’re also a fly-boy. You’re arguably more of a fly-boy than Scourge is right now, because you actually look like something that can fly. This is after Headmasters, so I suppose we can forgive him being a little stupid.

While they’re being attacked, the Autobot ship picks up the signatures of thousands of unidentified objects, and then is immediately pelted with tons of metal falling out of the sky.

Foreshadowing! It’s never let me down. And hey, it’s that space metal that squashed Sixshot.

The Autobot ship abandoned, Cyclonus and Scourge head of the surface of the planet to regroup. Scourge asks who was aboard the ship, and when he’s told it was Nightbeat, Fastlane, and Cloudraker, he gets spooked.

And then he explodes.

I’m right there with you, Cyclonus. I don’t know why that happened, either.

The following day, Rodimus is in the lab with Perceptor, taking a gander at one of the larger pieces of space metal- they’ve sussed out that it’s the core of Moonbase 2, which was lost eons ago. The odd thing is, it’s covered in writing that isn’t Cybertronian. Something fishy’s going on. Rodimus tells Perceptor to store the moon core at Eocra for now, and not to tell the high council anything just yet.

All pieces in place, I suppose, we head back to the odd scene we left at the treaty signing, where the city street popped into existence without warning. The pedestrians on said street are taken into custody, where they’re questioned by way of police brutality. They claim to be from 2013, and then the sci-fi jargon hits hard and I couldn’t really tell you what it means.

What I can glean from this, however, is that maybe storing the moon base core in Eocra wasn’t such a hot idea.

The 2013-era ‘bots are thrilled to not be in their current year, seeing as they were witnessing the end of the world when they were transported. Now, remember, this comic takes place in 2302, so something’s clearly going on here. Are they lying? Suffering from time-sickness? From a parallel universe? We’ll have to read the novel to figure that one out. Still, our narrator has a bad feeling about all this, and Ultra Magnus goes down to visit Primus, where they store the memory banks of all the survivors of the war, lamenting that there are so few “true” ones left. True survivors include, but aren’t limited to: Rodimus, Perceptor, Soundwave, Sludge- a dinobot- Galvatron, Ultra Magnus himself, and Wheelie, whose canister seems to have some sort of caveat.

Well, that can surely only mean good things.

In the postscript- yes, not an epilogue, but a postscript- we summarize what’s just happened: the accounts of multiple spontaneous events, and the promise that the past will come back to haunt us. Fun stuff. We’re left with a final look at the symbol that was left on the moon core, which will surely play into the story to come.

I also have, at my disposal, the script that Roberts wrote for Liars, A-to-D, which, as far as I know, is the first comic script he’d ever written.

Because I have access to the script, some of the more interesting details are made known. Hey, guys I found Star Saber- he was the guy I thought was Ultra Magnus, and is actually the narrator. Whoops. I suppose that would explain why he was presented in this comic on the title page. In my defense, there’s only one good shot of his face in the whole comic, and they have very similar heights and shoulders.

Star Saber, I am so sorry. That one’s completely on me.

The script allows us to figure out who some of the lesser known characters are- for example, the ‘bot holding the Galvatron puppet up is named Pounce. Get some more bicep curls into your workout routine, Pounce.

We can also get a little insight into scenes that we otherwise wouldn’t.

He’s reciting the Primal Pentechurch here, for his exorcism. This can probably be decoded. Neat!

I can also put some names to the Autobots that are featured in the Helex standoff, including Quark. No, not that one. Different guy- this one turns into a hover-car.

His character description is actually in the script, addressing the artist, Matt Dallas. It’s pretty in-depth, like the sort of direction one would give for an art commission of their OC, which I suppose it is in a way.

Little fact about myself: I went to college for film production, specifically in script and screenplay writing. I know a thing or two about scripts. You typically don’t do this within the script itself, but rather in the character bio, because it can mess up the pacing of the script-to-screen ratio; one page of script amounts to roughly one minute of screen time. Now, this obviously isn’t the exact same thing, seeing as it’s a comic script, but it stuck out to me.

Still, for a cherry script, it’s not bad. And, after all, I didn’t study for comic scripting, so what do I know? I’m just some asshole on the internet, I don’t get paid for this.

Oh right, I can figure out what the hell happened to Scourge; there was apparently a bomb inside of his chest, that he decided to set off right in front of his buddy Cyclonus. No mention as to WHY this happened, though. We’ll have to save that question for the novel proper.

Right, that happened. There’s a lot of unintentional vore in the UK Transformers comics.

In the script, the names on the cabinets don’t exactly match up with what’s seen in the comic. Wheelie isn’t mentioned at all- one has to assume the comic’s inclusion of him is a little jab at the character for being what some might call “annoying”. Sludge also isn’t listed, but Prowl and Nightbeat are. Their cabinets might be hidden behind Star Saber, and therefore out of shot.

So, final thoughts: this script was… okay. Roberts clearly knows what he wants included, and makes his vision known, perhaps a bit too strictly in places. All in all, completely serviceable, did everything a script is supposed to do, but nothing amazing. And that’s fine! I’d honestly be worried if the script here was on par with what we got seven years later. Writers are supposed to grow and improve.

But now it’s time to prepare ourselves for the prose writing. Up next- Eugenesis!

[caffeineivore]

Commission #2

For @nelwynp. Based off a very very old ficverse from wayyyyyyy back in the day called “Freckles” which may or may not be found on LJ. Makoto/Nephrite.

Commissions are still open!! Check out the details here or all the other commissions currently available here!

Long distance relationships are statistically known to suck, and honestly, I wouldn’t have considered myself the rose-coloured glasses type. The real world doesn’t care that you’ve probably, maybe, already gotten your share of crap thrown at you, starting from the death of your parents, and think maybe it should cut you a break. I knew the chances of Nick and myself making it were slim. He would be busy, surrounded by strangers a whole two states away. Sure, we’d known each other since we were kids, and maybe by now, he had become the one constant in my life-- my North Star, perhaps-- that forever friend who’d seen me at my worst and didn’t care in the least. And maybe--- maybe, finally, I’d finally told him those three words that had been nagging at the back of my subconscious for the last year of our acquaintance. He’d said them back, and it was only then that I realized how much I’d needed to hear and say them.

Still, I saw him off on that cloudy morning with dry eyes and homemade eggs Benedict-- that is to say, that I fed him and double-checked to make sure that he had not misplaced anything important. The apartment that he’d been living in was stripped bare, and all of his worldly goods were in the trailer of the U-haul which would take him to his new home. I was plugging his phone into the car charger in the front console when his arms wrapped around me from behind, and turned me to face him. 

Nick has always been a good-looking guy, in that sort of rugged, All-American way, with broad shoulders and a great smile, and I’d learned at some point in our long acquaintance that he gave the best hugs-- the type that lifts you slightly off your feet and makes you feel like some type of dainty damsel even when you’re six feet tall in heeled boots. It’s no different now, and maybe I hung on for a moment too long, myself. He’s not much of a cologne guy, but his sweatshirt smells like laundry soap and I’m pretty sure he’d used my shampoo that morning again, because his hair’s super soft-- and the flowery scent is not nearly as girly on him as it is on me. 

“Call me when you get there.” I hope to Hell, of course, that the fact that my voice is muffled against his neck disguises the unsteadiness.

“I’ll call you every day.”

I wouldn’t hold him to it, of course, but I didn’t say anything to that effect, and I watched as he drove off, and then headed off to the gym for a punishing three-mile run on the treadmill followed by a full hour of kickboxing to a playlist of angry girl rock, and if I cried in the shower afterwards, no one needed to know that.

He did call that night, though. And the night after. And the night after that. And soon, it had become a routine, and maybe I should have given him more credit the whole time. Before I knew it, two months had passed, and he flew down for a long holiday weekend, and after we’d christened three separate rooms in my apartment, we got caught up in person. I’d heard so much about his new place and the people he’d met at his new school that I probably could’ve picked his favourite and least favourite professors out of a crowd. 

This became a thing, and so for two years, we did the long distance thing. He heard about the awful day when the stand mixer went rogue and how I was still picking bits of cake batter out of my hair two hours later. I heard so much about one particularly persnickety city inspector on a project he worked on that I learned to hate the guy as much as Nick did. Our reunions were sporadic, rapturous and never long enough, though half the time we eschewed actual dates in favour of staying in and just being ourselves together-- watching movies, working out, buying groceries and cooking meals, falling asleep so close together that it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other one began. 

We spent that first Thanksgiving at my place-- Friendsgiving, really, cooking a huge meal in a too-small kitchen, inviting all of our old friends. I shooed Nick and James out of my kitchen and chatted with Raye as she snapped a bowl of green beans for me and sounds of the football game filtered in through the living room. She was a ball of nerves-- James would be meeting her very formidable, very rich, very conservative father when he went over to her home for Christmas. Said father would not be amused to find his only daughter not only dating, but actually fully living in sin with a mouthy city boy-- when Nick had moved out, James and Raye had gotten an apartment together. Amy and Zach had arrived a bit later, because he’d had to pick her up from the hospital where her shift had run over. Kevin and Mina, on the other hand, were at her parents’ house out of state. She’d texted me all types of sad face emojis about how the cranberry sauce had come out of a can and the mashed potatoes had come out of a box, but I had no sympathy. She had parents who cooked for her for Thanksgiving, didn’t she? Besides, if she really cared about food over time spent with them and Kevin, she would have told them that she had Ebola and came over to my place instead.

At any rate, against all the odds, we somehow managed to make it work, and two years, three months and six days after that first time that I told him I loved him, he was on his way down to visit again. I’d gone up to see him get his Master’s degree two months ago and he’d taken me out around the town to celebrate with his friends and classmates. Some of them had met me before, but to those who hadn’t, he introduced me as his girlfriend, and from the easy acceptance, I knew that everyone present had some idea of our history. It had been a wonderful weekend, but I was a bit nervous about seeing him again today. Something had come up, very recently, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

At first, I had thought nothing of the symptoms. Fatigue and a bit of nausea doesn’t tend to alarm anyone right off the get-go. Everyone knows restaurant hours are brutal, and as an apprentice chef, any task, no matter how mundane or unpleasant, might get assigned to me on any given day. Certainly, I might get to spend one day arranging delicate edible flowers and a compote of ripe berries around and on top of fancy panna cottas, but the very next, I might be doing nothing but washing dishes and running out garbage. The kitchen I work in specializes in a rotating seasonal menu, and at the time, calamari was in season. Certainly it is delicious deep-fried with casino butter and lemon wedges, sprinkled with sea salt and cracked black pepper, but it’s definitely not as appealing raw, slimy and fishy-smelling. It’s enough to make anyone lose their appetite doing prep early in the morning. But then I was late. And not to work, if you know what I mean. One week stretched into two, then three. The nausea didn’t go away, even when my day consisted of making large quantities of bourbon vanilla buttercream frosting for strawberry white chocolate cakes. It was a week ago that I picked up two different pregnancy tests from Walgreen’s. Both results had come back to tell me what I kind of already knew, deep down, and I was honestly terrified down to the bone.

I had always wanted to have that maybe-stereotypical home and family someday-- the cute house with gingerbread trim and the white picket fence and the garden full of old-fashioned flowers, a husband who loved me and our children and went to baseball games and dance recitals with equal enthusiasm. I wanted to be able to be the mom who baked cupcakes for the bake sale and cookies for the big jar on the kitchen counter, and volunteered to chaperone field trips to the science museum. That had been my own mother, from those distant reaches of old memories, and though I’d lost her, I knew that it was in me to keep her legacy alive. 

But I had not intended to do so when I had just started my career, unmarried and still living in a tiny college-campus apartment, with a boyfriend who lives two states away, who might not even want kids. God! That was a discussion we’d never even had. 

The door swings open, though, before I could think about it any more. Nick has a key to my place, of course, as I do to his. Sometimes he calls, but sometimes he just arrives, like today, a little ahead of schedule. I’m caught up in one of those long, tight hugs, a warm and familiar hand cupping the back of my neck, and maybe he feels a hint of desperation in my kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes are warm, but full of concern. “Everything okay, Freckles?”

“Ugh. Can you not call me that? We’ve talked about that.” Oh, Gods... A baby with his brown hair and my green eyes. His dimples and my freckles. I can almost picture a little girl, toddling on chubby legs, riding on his shoulders, picking dandelions in the yard and blowing the fluff away in the wind. I’d teach her to bake chocolate chip cookies and read her stories where the princess saved herself and buy her pretty dresses for picture day and sturdy jeans for playing outside in. I loved her already, but she wasn’t supposed to even exist. 

“Habit. And you scrunch your nose up when you’re mad, and I shouldn’t like it, but I do.” Nick presses another, shorter kiss to my mouth, then tips up my face. “But you seem a bit out of sorts. What’s wrong?”

“How could you tell if I’m out of sorts or not when you literally just walked in two minutes ago?” It’s an evasion, and I’m sure he can and will spot the bullshit and call me out on it. 

“Because I’ve known you since we were kids, and you don’t have to say or do anything for me to know when you’re out of sorts.” Nick pulls me gently over to the love seat, and sits me down, keeping one of my hands in his as though he expects me to bolt at any moment. “Everything’s okay, right? You didn’t have anything particularly horrible at work this week that I recall from our conversations.”

No, this week hadn’t been bad. Breaking down chickens is fairly mindless work once you get the hang of it. And the resulting bone broth is wonderful for someone who finds it difficult to keep food down some days. Nick deserves the truth, of course, and maybe the ripping-off-the-bandaid approach is best. I shut my eyes to his all-too-perceptive, all-too-loving gaze, and set my teeth.

“I’m pregnant.”

His hand tightens on mine and his next inhaled breath is sharp, but I plow on. “I know it’s not expected, and I know we were careful, but… it is what it is. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not some delicate little miss who’s afraid of raising a child. The executive chef at work loves me, as he should, and I’m sure they’ll work with me when the time comes for maternity leave. And in this day and age, it’s not a big deal to be a single mom. I’m keeping this baby and she’s going to get the best life that I can give her, growing up.” I don’t know why I was so certain I was having a little girl. But she already existed, to me, and at that moment in time, she was probably only the size of my pinkie nail. “She will never doubt, for a moment, that she’s loved.”

“Of course not.” Nick finally speaks, and his voice is an awed, slightly choked-up whisper. I sense him moving, then one big, warm hand rests on my still-flat stomach, followed by the press of his lips. “We’re having a baby. Wow. Okay, so I guess I should get on with what I’d already planned to do, even though I’d planned for this to be a lot more romantic.” Belatedly, I realize that not only has he moved, but he is down on his knees in front of me, one hand on my stomach, the other one digging into a pocket, and then he pulls out a small black velvet box, flicks open the catch.

I’m not much of a jewelry type of girl-- I wear the same earrings, every single day, but working in a kitchen greatly limits the practicality of going around with bracelets and rings and do-dabs. Still, stereotypical though it might be, I’d always wanted that classic diamond solitaire engagement ring from my husband-to-be, and now, when it’s staring me in the face-- princess-cut and set in platinum, I find myself speechless. 

“Lita Oakley, love of my life, will you marry me?”

Of course he doesn’t mince words. In a lot of ways, I guess we’re past that point. But I draw my hand back a moment before he can slide that ring on. 

“I don’t want you to propose to me because I’m pregnant and you feel obligated. You’d end up regretting it, and that would kill me.” We didn’t live together now, but if we did someday, and then it all went south, and I had to walk into an empty house bereft of his presence and his things and even the way he’d always kick his shoes off any which way by the door rather than make sure they’re put up where no one can trip over them, I knew it would break me in a way that hadn’t been possible since my parents’ deaths.

Nick rolls his eyes, though, and huffs out a breath before digging deeper into that little velvet box, all the way underneath the white satin. He takes out a crinkled paper receipt, and unfolds it, and drops it on my lap. “You are so stubborn. Do you know that? Take a look at that receipt, will you? Just… humour me.”

I do. It’s from some jeweler in his state, and the price of the ring of course makes me wince a little. It’s definitely not cheap. But then I read it a little closer, and see the time stamp on the top. It was purchased at 4:26 PM on the sixth of December, two whole years ago. Perhaps six months after he’d moved away.

“I got it as soon as I could afford it, and I’d been saving up for a while. Probably not very well-thought-out of me, when everything was so up in the air. But I’d always known that we’d be here together, someday, and I’d be asking you to marry me. Anyway, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’re pregnant and everything to do with the fact that I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and there’s no one else in the world for me, and it’s too late to return this ring, anyway.” He pulls it out of the box, and I see something shining, trailing from it. “I know you can’t really wear rings, working in a kitchen. So I also got a necklace that you can wear this on, if you’ll just say yes. Please say yes.”

“How are we going to do this?” I blurt out, as that other infamous symptom of pregnancy-- emotional hormonal tears-- makes its appearance. I blink and try to sniffle them away, but Nick simply puts the ring on my finger, silvery necklace dangling from it, and gets up to his feet, pulls me gently to mine. “You live so freaking far away.”

“Not anymore I don’t.” He tugs me close, and kisses me again. “My lease is up in a month. I figure I can get another U-haul, and con the guys into helping out. I’m pretty sure that the people can put a good word in for me to get hired in somewhere local-- dumb jock notwithstanding, I worked my ass off these last few years and have the credentials and grades to prove it. Since my lease is up in a month anyway, might as well look for a new place to live. Some place that can be baby-proofed, and definitely not a top floor apartment with a janky elevator like here. Can’t have my pregnant fiancee struggling up five flights of stairs every day.”

He makes it seem so simple, really, as he pulls me in for what promised to be an extended cuddle session. 

But maybe-- maybe it would be. 

[scentedsongrebel]

A Normal Day

Summary: MARAUDER’S ERA

 "Oh God! Potter I have been declining your requests on going out with you ever since I can remember and now suddenly you think I wrote you a love letter? Just an ordinary day in the life of one Remus John Lupin.

Warnings: None? Minor cursing maybe?

Word Count:  1,851

Remus Lupin POV

It was a normal day. Now some of you would raise an eyebrow at my reference of 'normal' and I see why you'd say that because sounds of shouting around the common room late at night is something which most of you don't consider to be normal. But for me, it was nothing quiet out of the ordinary. It was a normal day.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" I hear a girlish voice shout

"No, I have found my everything" a boy replies and I don't even have to focus to know who it was and I think not even a single person in this Gryffindor common room (including the new first years) has to turn to see who it is.

I still focus my attention on the on-going fight out of which I so peacefully got distracted.

"IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, POTTER I WILL KILL YOU"

 Lily was shouting her hands closed tightly in a fist, she has no wand and I feel a bit relieved for she cannot hex my friend but as I look into her usually emerald eyes I clear all my assumptions. Hell she could kill James with her hands with the amount of anger in her eyes which now so mysteriously have turned red. Well not so mysteriously but that's out of the point.

"Oh sweet Lily-flower, you hurt me so much" James says clutching his heart in mock hurt and shaking his head and I can't help myself but say it

"Umm James your heart's on the left side mate" and as I say it I receive a glare and a pat on the shoulder by James and Sirius respectively.

"Oh! Dearest Moony, you see how much hurt my heart is actually bearing because I feel the pain on the other side" James says winking and I feel the corners of my mouth twisting in a small smile. Trust James to take change everything in his favor. Actually trust Sirius to change everything in his favor but again that’s not the point.

"No Remus, don't smile" Lily says frowning "you're encouraging him".

"Umm sorry Lils?" I say uncertainly 

Lily continues to frown. At the corner of my eyes I can see Marlene Mckinnon clutching her stomach to control laughter and Alice just arriving, asking Mary about the events to which she just shakes her head, she too not able to conceal laughter.

"Okay what's going on?" Alice who seems to have given up on asking her friends turns to main origin of the on-going fight.

"Well well well" James says smiling at Alice "You see Lily-flower here sent me a letter confessing her undying love for me" and just as he says it Lily gets even angrier. The frown of earlier turned in a growl of irritation as Alice starts to laugh joining her already laughing friends. I just realize when I have to hold on to Peter for support how much I too have been laughing on the news. Sirius on the other hand tries to look as determined as James but the amusement on his face betrays him.

"No Potter, I did not" Lily says calmly this but her face and clenched teeth tell otherwise

"You did….see" he says moving a piece of paper in front of her

"I did not" Lily now whines "oh! God, Potter I have been declining your requests on going out with you ever since I can remember and now suddenly you think I wrote you a love letter? Does it says my name?" she says and then snatches the letter out of James' hold "let me see"

As she examines the contents of the letter a satisfactory smile embraces the tips of her lips and she looks up to meet James' eyes 

"see it does not say my name and that's not even my handwriting"

James looks a bit dejected at this revelation but quickly regains his smirk "Who on earth will send me a love letter other than you?" he says pointing his finger at Lily who seems to get a little amused and I feel she too would burst out laughing but a reply comes from behind her

"Really James?" Marlene says emerging from behind Lily, an unending smile on her lips "The question should be 'who else could it not be except you'?" 

And I have to agree with her. Every girl except our dear Lily dies for James' charm… Well maybe not Marlene but she considers him her brother because of their parents' friendship and Alice who seems to be lost in the 6th year Frank Longbottom too much and a few but except for them, every girl.

"Well James, I think no I am sure Marlene is right" I say moving forward towards Lily and taking the letter from her hands to examine it. I had already seen it earlier in our dorm when we arrived from our daily trips to the kitchen to find this letter on James' bed. James was really excited for he quickly assumed it was from Lily and I tried to object but eventually went with it. Even I enjoy a little laugh and scene in the common room.

Sirius tries to tell me that they read the letter already and I don't have to read it but I don't listen. The boys who can assume Lily sent a love letter to James cannot be trusted to read a letter carefully.

I read the contents of the letter carefully

Dear My Jamesee-poo,

I have been drooling over you from a very long time now and it feels horrible to not to get to be with you all the time, to not call you my boy-friend, not being able to kiss you, to hug you and I write this letter today to confess my deep undying feelings to you.

The first thing I want to do is apologise to you for not liking you for sooooo long. I was an idiot, I had no brains, well I had a brain but It was not working. Okay so it was working but not thinking the right way. But now it has found its right way and I realize how much I love you. Oh! James I can't live without you and I would spend my entire life waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.

You must think I may be mad but I won't deny cause I am mad for you. I have no idea what I see in you? Why I see you as the love of my life when you have a sooo handsome best mate who I can spend my life with? Oh! Sirius is handsome so much… No but I love you, yes I do it, I love you a lot…

Yours

Secret love girl

The writing in the letter looks so insanely similar that I read the letter again. Where have I seen this writing? Uh and then I see it, the grammatical errors and the comments on James' best mate. I immediately snap my head towards him and our eyes meet. He gives me a sly smile and a pleading look. 

It's Sirius! Sirius wrote James a love letter? Sirius loves James? Sirius hated James at first but now wants to hug him? Kiss him? Sirius? Sirius and James? But James loves Lily and I thought Sirius’ love for James was platonic…. Guess he hid it so well.

I look at him, the confusion evident in my eyes. He just looks at me for some time, confused but realizes what I mean and his eyes widen.

"NO NO NO" He shouts and all heads snap in his direction

"Umm Sirius pal?" James asks confused and puts a hand on his shoulder. Sirius quickly shrugs it off looking horrified.

"I'm fine, just remembered about something" he says "a 'prank'" he says emphasizing the word "Prank" looking at me and I understand. It's a prank, a prank huh! How could I have been so stupid? Of-course it's a prank.

"A prank?" It was Marlene "then why were you shouting NO?"

"umm the prank went wrong" he says itching the back of his head

"So you realised the prank went wrong just standing here just as Remus read the letter and looked at you?" she asks raising her eyebrows

"Yeah" he says coolly. Lily looks at him and then suddenly snatches the letter off my hand. James just looks confused, mirroring the look Peter almost always wears. Just as she reads it Sirius passes me a scared look and I see Marlene smirking, understanding something.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaims as she finishes reading the letter and looks at Sirius who starts to move backwards "YOU FANCY JAMES!" she literally shouts pointing at Sirius, causing a lot of heads to turn our way.

"WHAT?" James exclaims in unison with Alice, Mary and Peter while Marlene and I just burst off laughing.

"NO NO NO" Sirius shouts on top of his lungs looking disgusted then looks at James and shouts again "NO…. Oh god! Lily… NO! and people say you and Moony are the smartest" we raise an eyebrow "Please, how can you… Uh!... It was a Prank"

"A what?" James says looking at Sirius with his eyebrows raised, his fist closing. Lily seems to have realized and gives out a weak laugh which turns into a loud laughter.

"A- a- a" Sirius looks to have lost words and just runs away while all of us start laughing while James looks like he won't shy away from committing a murder.

"That dog" James says through clenched teeth and then looks at Lily with a sly smile 

"Well not today but trust me Evans, someday you will send me a love letter, Now if you'll excuse me I have you kill my best friend. Moony help me dispose off the body will you?" he asks and I just laugh

"Of-course I will, come Pete" I say waving my hand towards Peter. We always forget him.

We go towards the 5th year dormitory because I know James won't beat him off but the revenge would be something equally fishy and as I said, I love a laugh. Sometimes I think how I am friends with these weirdos but sometimes I don't. I just love them and every adventure that has become my life.

So I just go off with 2 of the very little people that mean so much to me planning off the murder of the third. 

It is a normal day.

[aidanchaser]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero

Chapter Three The Burrow

Lily apologized to Harry first thing the next morning. “It wasn’t fair of me to assume it was your fault. I should have listened to you, no matter how upset I was.”

Harry guessed his dad had told her everything. He was still upset she hadn’t listened to him at first, but he was glad she believed him now. “It’s okay; I forgive you,” Harry said with a small smile.

Lily hugged him tightly and kissed the corner of his forehead.

“Dad promised we’d celebrate my birthday today,” Harry said when they sat down for breakfast.

Lily had a secretive smile and James had a wide grin.

“What is it?” he begged. “What are we doing?”

Lily passed a parchment envelope to him. Harry recognized the handwriting on the front immediately. It was from Ron. But the date at the top of the letter was from yesterday

Dear Harry,

Happy Birthday!

I hope you got lots of great presents. I wanted to get you something, but I didn’t know what. Mum suggested I invite you to stay at our place for a couple days. I’m not sure it’s much of a birthday present, but you can come if you like. There’s an old ghoul in the attic, and gnomes in the garden, but at least we have good space for Quidditch, and Fred and George promised they would play with us too.

If you want to come, I mean. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.

-Ron

Harry looked up at his parents excitedly. “Can I really?”

“Of course,” James beamed.

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Harry and Lily arrived a few hours later at The Burrow. It was tall, old, rickety and so full of magic. Like the Potters’ home Styncon Garden, it seemed that the Burrow had started as a small, humble home for a small, humble family. But as years had gone by and generations had added and grown, the house had been added onto and grown itself. Except where Harry’s family had spread the estate out, the Weasleys had built upwards. When Harry stood on the porch of the Burrow and looked up, it seemed as if the house were leaning forward over him. He wondered if it was even held up by magic.

Lily carried his overnight bag, ready for a few days’ stay, and Harry carried his broom. He tried not to bounce with excitement. He’d never actually stayed over at a friend’s house before. He’d stayed with Sirius or Uncle Remus, but that had been baby-sitting. Sirius and Uncle Remus were family. This was so much more grown-up.

Ron answered the door, pink in the face and slightly out of breath. “Hullo, Harry.”

Fred and George came skidding around the corner behind him. “Harry! You made it!” they shouted at him with wide grins.

Harry’s ears went a little pink as he stepped inside.

His eyes roamed the house as they walked in, not sure what to focus on. All of it was too fascinating. There was the coat hanger above the fireplace that looked like an orange tabby, or there was the clock with only one hand and instead of numbers, and it said “tea time” or “time to feed the chickens” or “you’re late!” Or there was the excess of books piled everywhere about the house, instead of organized into neat bookshelves like in his parents’ study.

“It’s not much,” Ron mumbled, hastily straightening a pile of books.

“It’s brilliant,” Harry grinned.

Molly Weasley met them halfway to the kitchen, spoon in her hand. Harry had never seen her outside of parties, where she usually had her hair neatly pressed and wore her best robes. Right now, her hair was frizzy around her face, her dress was made from a several different fabrics, and she wore a flower-printed apron with her wand stuck in one of the pockets. It was so opposite to Lily, who made house spells look like a neat task, requiring no more than a flick of the wand. Lily did chores the way she made potions: in an orderly fashion, cleaning up spills and unnecessary ingredients as she went. Molly seemed to do things more like James: anything and everything all at once.

“Lunch will be ready soon,” Molly said. “Why don’t you take your things up to Ron’s room in the mean time.”

Harry took his bag from his mother, and Lily disappeared into the kitchen with Molly. He, Ron, Fred, and George, started the long trek upstairs to the top of the house.

“Sorry it’s so far,” Ron mumbled, but Harry didn’t care. He happily bounded up the steps after Ron.

When Ron opened the door to his room, Harry saw the bright orange and laughed. “Chudley Cannons?”

“They’re doing really well this year,” Ron said defensively.

Harry set his broom in a corner with his bag and ran to the window. “You can see everything from up here!” He turned around and grinned. “This is the best birthday present ever!”

Ron turned bright red. Fred and George laughed.

“I’m sure you got something better from Sirius,” Ron mumbled.

“Not exactly.” And Harry told them about his miserable birthday, Dobby, and the strange warning about danger at Hogwarts.

Fred frowned. “That sounds pretty fishy.”

“I reckon it was a joke,” George said. “Someone at Hogwarts sent him, someone who doesn’t want you to come back. Anyone you know with a grudge on you?”

“Draco Malfoy,” Harry and Ron answered at the same time. They exchanged a look of mutual disgust and understanding. That made so much sense. Malfoy’s family would definitely be wealthy enough to have a house elf.

“Lucius Malfoy’s kid?” Fred asked.

“I think so,” Harry said. He was only vaguely familiar with the Malfoys. Sirius had a cousin who married a Malfoy, or something. He wasn’t too familiar with Sirius’s family, because every time it came up, Sirius made a joke that made Lily frown and James clear his throat, and Uncle Remus would change the subject. But Harry had had enough confrontations with Draco Malfoy to guess what the Lucius Malfoy was like.

“Uncle Fabian said he was a big supporter of You-Know-Who,” George said.

“But he came to our side after You-Know-Who disappeared, said he never meant any of it.” Fred said this with an over-exaggerated posh accent. “Uncle Gideon thinks he’s lying, and he was in You-Know-Who’s inner circle the whole time.”

“But Uncle Fabian and Uncle Gideon are a little strange,” Ron said.

Harry rather liked Ron’s uncles. They were good friends with James and Lily, but Ron was right. They were from Alastor Moody’s school of defense training, which was a lot of looking-over-your-shoulder and throwing spells into dark corners.

Still, knowing Draco Malfoy, Harry wondered if there could be some sort of darker magic happening. But even Draco Malfoy couldn’t be worse than You-Know-Who, right? So it must’ve all been a stupid prank.

Molly called them back downstairs for lunch. Lily kissed Harry’s cheek and told him to be good and helpful and she would see him in three days when they all went to Diagon Alley together.

Molly served the boys lunch and Harry had two helpings. Mrs. Weasley’s cooking was so much better than his mother’s. Maybe it came from more practice. He knew that this was not all of Ron’s family and yet the house still felt so crowded. Sure, at Harry’s, Sirius and Uncle Remus came in and out, but the house never felt this full of life.

There was Percy, who appeared just for the meal and disappeared to his room otherwise. Then the twins, who were loud and excitable about everything, and Ron who may not have been loud, but still managed to fill space. Harry loved everything about this house and the people in it.

Mr. Weasley came home in the middle of lunch, which resulted in a greeting as loud and as excitable as when Harry arrived. Fred and George did a lot of shouting and Ron ran to greet him.

They sat down at the table and Mr. Weasley wearily told them about the Ministry raids that had kept him up all night, and Mundungus Fletcher throwing a hex at his back. Molly made him a cup of strong tea and he half-fell asleep in his chair.

“Where’s Ginny?” Harry asked, realizing he hadn’t seen her this whole time. And they were nearly finishing lunch. Ron’s younger sister did live here, didn’t she?

“I dunno,” Ron shrugged and picked his and his dad’s dishes. “She’s usually right on Fred and George’s heels.”

“Is she sick?” Harry grabbed the dishes Ron could not carry and followed Ron into the kitchen.

“Mum says she’s alright.”

Harry wondered if Ginny would play Quidditch with them later. He hadn’t forgotten last year, when Fred and George said she could fly faster than Ron. But he quickly forgot when Ron announced the afternoon’s plans.

“Mum said Fred and George have to de-gnome the garden, but after, they said they’d play Quidditch with us. There’s a good clearing for it in the woods over the hill.”

“De-gnoming the garden sounds fun,” Harry said.

“It really isn’t,” Ron said.

But Harry went to the backyard and Ron followed. Ron showed him how to uproot a gnome and disorient it. Harry felt a bit guilty swinging them around like that, but after one angrily kicked him, he felt less bad. It wasn’t long before he, Ron, Fred, and George, were having almost as much fun as if they had actually been playing Quidditch.

Which turned out to be good, because Molly called them in for dinner at sunset, and it would be too dark to play Quidditch afterwards.

Ginny appeared at the dinner table, but she said very little. Conversation was mostly dominated by Fred and George, bragging about how far they’d gotten their gnomes.

“One bit Harry’s finger,” Fred said with a laugh.

“He threw it nearly fifty feet!” George finished, and the table erupted into laughter, except Percy, who seemed uninterested in the conversation. Even Ginny giggled a little and made eye contact with Harry, but as soon as she seemed to notice they were looking at each other, she gulped down her glass of water so quickly she nearly choked.

Fred and George turned in early — ”You should too, Harry,” Fred said, and George said, “De-gnoming is just so exhausting.”

But Harry did not feel tired at all as he and Ron went upstairs. They stayed up talking, and Ron apologized every time the ghoul would bang on the pipes, but Harry didn’t care.

Just after midnight, there was a quiet knock on the door.

“Sorry, Mum, we’ll keep it down,” Ron said, but Fred and George walked in instead.

“I thought you went to bed,” Harry said and adjusted his glasses.

They grinned wickedly. “Ready for your birthday present from us, Harry?”

[1dimagineclub]

Daddy Niall Imagine

“You Are My Light”

I had never really been into blondes, but I quite liked the one sleeping soundly beside me, so dead-tired that his rest could not be disturbed by anything, not even the sunlight slipping through the cracks in the blinds and dancing right over his eyes. He wasn’t a natural blonde, of course, and had been letting his roots grow out (much to Lou’s dismay). That was how I reasoned through the fact that I had literally never considered dating a boy with blonde hair until I met him. His spirit must have screamed “I’m naturally a brunette!” to mine, and voila, we fell in love. Right. That had to be it.

I was absentmindedly running my fingers through said hair before I even realized it, but he just hummed quietly in pleasure at the feeling and squeezed the pillow in his arms tighter to his chest. Today I was absolutely scatterbrained because it was Christmas Eve and hidden in the closet was a present for Niall that would either delight or depress him—there was no in between. I was pregnant. Niall and I had been together for long enough now that it shouldn’t have been a big deal, but One Direction was still constantly touring and recording and flying out of the country for one simple interview, and that was the exact reason that he hadn’t even proposed to me yet. That had been the subject of many a “heated debate”, me insisting that I didn’t give a shit about a big extravagant wedding and that I just wanted to be able to say we were married, and Niall refusing to settle for a simple trip to the courthouse to get it done. I could only imagine how he would react to just the idea that we raise a kid together right now, let alone the stone cold truth that it was actually going to happen.

"Babe,“ his voice was rough from the past eleven or so hours of disuse, and made me jump a foot high in surprise. Pressing a hand to my chest to calm my suddenly rapidly beating heart, I leaned over his shoulder and peered down at his face. "You’re awake?” His bright blue eyes were half-lidded, but definitely staring back at me, and he said mockingly, “No, I’m talking directly to you in my sleep.” I punched him in the arm, and I didn’t really hold back, but that still didn’t mean it hurt. He made an oomph sound just to humor me, which only had me punching him again. “Baaabe,” he whined, “stop hitting me, kiss me, kiss me instead!” And even though he was so childish, he was really so cute, so I obliged him and directed my lips onto his. He was smiling softly when I pulled away and probably about to go off on a tangent about how much he loved me. I cut him off with, “Ew, you have really bad morning breath.”

I hopped off the bed and darted out of the room, giggling as he lunged after me in retaliation to my insult but just barely missed. “You’re cooking breakfast, by the way!” I yelled behind me, and he groaned loud enough that I heard him from all the way down the hall and now halfway down the stairs. In the living room, I flopped down onto the couch and stared at the Christmas tree in the corner. Niall had barely made it home in time for today, with his busy schedule and then a huge storm delaying his flight by several days, so we hadn’t been able to go buy a real tree like we usually did. Even if we had gone out and gotten one as soon as his plane had arrived the evening before, we wouldn’t have had time to decorate it. So I had settled for a fake, pre-lit tree, and to be honest, it was really putting a damper on my Christmas spirit.

"It’s still a pretty tree, babe,“ Niall said as he walked in. Last time I had seen him he had been naked under our blankets, now he was in a cozy sweater and some joggers. He looked very warm, so I held out my arms as an invitation for him to come cuddle with me. Instead of immediately attaching himself to my side, Niall raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was cooking breakfast?” He teased me. I narrowed my eyes at him and replied, “Don’t be a smart ass, Horan. Come here. I’m cold.” But then he was spinning on his heel and heading in the opposite direction, tossing a “Nah, I’m hungry,” back at me.

I followed him into the kitchen and picked up the conversation that had almost started earlier���"I know the tree is pretty, but it doesn’t smell right. It doesn’t smell like anything.“ Niall didn’t answer me, so I continued urgently, "It doesn’t smell like Christmas, Niall! Do you even care!” I was being over-dramatic, honestly, but at the time it was an extremely upsetting realization. Blame the hormones. “No, (Y/N), I don’t care that much.” I was readying to smack him when Niall quickly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. “I don’t care that it doesn’t smell like Christmas, I’m just glad I’m here with you.”

What an idiot. What an absolute idiot. I hated when he said stupid romantic shit like that…except I didn’t. There was a huge, sloppy grin on my face, and I rewarded his sweetness with another kiss. I was slowly dragging my hands up his chest and around his shoulders to wind behind his neck when I felt Niall’s hands cheekily slip from my waist to my bum and palm the flesh there. “Hey!” I hopped away from him, “No copping a feel before breakfast, Niall James Horan!” The blonde rolled his eyes, reaching out to me again, but I swatted his hands away. “Baby, don’t be like this, it’s been so long,” Niall pouted, but there was one person on this planet who was not susceptible to his puppy dog face and thankfully, that was me. I shook my head firmly. “Don’t you think you’ve been naughty enough this year? I’m already going to be surprised if Santa brings you any gifts,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. I mean, I was trying really hard. I managed to skip out of the kitchen before I smiled at my own words.

"Well now I’m not asking what you want to eat!“ Niall shouted after me, "I hope you want pancakes ‘cause that’s what I’m making and that’s final!” I had wanted pancakes. This worked out perfectly. An hour later, Niall was in the shower while I cleaned up the huge mess he had made. I didn’t mind that much, though, having to clean up after him, because breakfast had tasted especially good this morning. I don’t know why—I had forced Niall to make me pancakes a million times before—but today they were the best I had ever had. Because of that Niall had earned himself a grab of my ass without repercussions as he had passed me at the sink on his way back upstairs, and I hoped that would hold him over until tonight, at least.

I finished drying the last plate and set it in the cabinet on top of the others, then I hurried to the bedroom to change. Niall and I were heading into town to do some last minute shopping before we had to go to his parents’ house tomorrow afternoon and then make an appearance at some of his friends’ party that night. I slammed the door open, positive that Niall was still in the bathroom, but was surprised to find him already dressed and sitting on the mattress with his back to me. He scrambled to his feet when I loudly entered the room, but took almost a full minute before turning to face me, his face bright red. “Are you okay?” I asked him, my tone suspicious, and he nodded frantically. “I’m perfect! I wasn’t doing nothing!” My face was blank. “So you were doing something,” I said, now speaking in a monotone. His mouth opened and shut stupidly with no words coming out, and I could see in his eyes the wheels of his tiny brain turning, overworking themselves as he struggled with what to say. “Don’t make fun of my grammar!” was what he decided on before frowning and pushing past me out of the room.

Well that wasn’t fishy at all. I quickly walked over to the closet, dropping to my knees and pushing a few pairs of shoes and a random sheet out of the way before my eyes beheld the (immaculately) wrapped gift I had hidden there and I gave a huge sigh of relief, having been worried he had found it and opened it and that was why he was acting so weird… But with that theory out the window, I was nervous all over again about whatever had gotten him so flustered. I swallowed thickly, forcing down my anxiety, and piled everything back on top of the tiny box. Then I pulled on my warmest clothes and a pair of boots, grabbed my coat, and joined Niall at the door. He had visibly calmed down, but now he looked annoyed.

"What?“ I snapped, although not really angry. I tweaked his nose as I fell into my natural spot at his side. "Nothing,” he grunted, “just that you took about fifty hours to get dressed.” I shrugged, not really concerned with that, and grabbed the gray beanie out of his hands to pull onto my head. For about half a second he looked like he was going to take it back, then his eyes softened. “You look cuter in it than I do,” he said. I just nodded. Niall grabbed a random snapback off the entryway table and slipped it on, instead. “You look cuter in that, anyways,” I complimented him, before swinging the door open and trudging out into the snow.

Niall pulled the Range Rover up into a gas station (or a petrol station, as he called it) not too long later. He filled up the tank while I waited in the passenger’s seat messing about on my phone, then tapped on the window as he passed by and headed straight inside instead of getting back in the car. I frowned, since it was too cold and quiet in here, but I knew it was colder outside of the car and the warmth in the shop just wasn’t worth the thirty second walk. Niall was quick though, sensing my irritation I’m sure, and was soon getting back into the car with a bag in tow. “What did you even get?” Niall dug out a package of chips (crisps) and tossed whatever else into the backseat, not feeling the need to say after that. “Snacks! Niall, we just ate…” I trailed off, thinking that I knew very well just how much this boy could put away, and also that I didn’t really care that much.

The day went by slowly, and by time we were dragging our feet up the walkway to the door with several bags weighing us down, it felt like we had been gone for weeks. At least that’s how I felt. Niall, actually, was shifting restlessly from one foot to the other, and he kept running his hands through his hair and looking from side to side as if somebody was watching us. “You’re being weird again,” I commented as I unlocked the door, but once again he just went by me and offered no explanation. He dropped the bags he’d been carrying at the foot of the stairs before then taking them two at a time, ascending quickly, yelling “I’m gonna get the wrapping paper!”

We spent almost two hours wrapping gifts for his family and friends. I was actually quite good at wrapping, but he wasn’t really helping, just making a mess, taping random bits of paper to random patches of either of our skin, and tapping me with the tip of a marker when I wasn’t looking, much to my annoyance. When we had finished we decided to take them out to the car now instead of waiting until tomorrow, and coming back inside, I asked Niall to start a fire before disappearing up into our room. As was tradition, we would be giving one gift tonight. I sat on the floor of our closet with the tiny box in my hands for much longer than I realized. The scent of hot chocolate hit me before Niall kicked the door open gently and walked in carrying two mugs of it.

“What are you doing, cutie?” He asked, kneeling down beside me. I held up the present, trying to act like it was no big deal, but my hands were shaking. He furrowed his brow curiously, but didn’t press me for a real answer. “That the present I get to open soon?” Words escaped me and all I could do was nod. He nodded back, and silence fell over us both, until he held out one of the hot chocolates to me. “Come on down, it’s warm in the living room,” he said as my (very cold) fingers wrapped around the cup. With that and the present in hand, I followed him to the couch, where I cuddled into his side and we watched the fire crackling. Although I was extremely nervous, I felt so safe and comfortable in Niall’s arms, right where I was meant to be.

When I had sipped the last of my drink, I leaned forward to place my mug on the coffee table and grabbed Niall’s present off the floor where I had left it. He was shifting in his seat, too, but when I faced him again, he wasn’t holding out a gift for me. “Where’s mine?” I asked, and only later did I think that I sounded like a spoiled brat just then. He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, his face tight. “It’s in a hiding place,” he said, “lemme open mine first.” I opened my mouth to protest, but Niall had already snatched the box out of my hands and started to attack the wrapping paper before I could. “Niall, wait,” I said, putting my hands around his bicep, but it was too late. He was already staring down at the tiny shoes, no expression on his face.

“Um…they’re cleats,” I tried. Niall was mute. In fact, he was like a statue, silent and still and I swear to god, he wasn’t breathing. With nothing left to lose, I whispered, “They’re cleats…for our baby.” When he still didn’t answer me, I looked down and wanted to cry at the way his large hands cradled the shoes so delicately, like they were going to break if he moved his finger even an inch. My own hands slid over to cover both of his. “We’re having a baby.” He wasn’t asking. He wasn’t looking at me, either, but I still nodded. Finally, Niall’s head rose and our eyes met. His were filled with tears.

"I’m pregnant.“ I had known for weeks now, but that was the first time I had actually said the words. Niall gently placed the baby cleats on the table, and I hoped he would give me a hug and a kiss and tell me how happy he was and how much he loved me, but instead he was drawing away from me. I felt tears of shame and sadness and anger all in one pressing against my eyes, about to fall, when suddenly I realized—Niall was sliding off the couch. He was moving onto one knee. He was reaching in his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box, and opening it to present the most beautiful ring I had literally ever seen. And he was quietly saying,

"(Y/N), we’re going to get married.” Maybe I was supposed to say something, maybe I was supposed to say “yes” (even though he didn’t ask me, not that I minded). Instead I dropped down to my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face into him and coating his neck with tears and kisses. A second later he was trying to pry me off of him, and when he did it was just long enough to kiss my fingertip and slip on the ring before I launched off again. We fell onto the carpet, wrapped up in each other, lips pressing to any inch of skin we could reach, but before we could lose ourselves to the passion of it all, Niall asked, “That does mean yes, right?” I laughed and grabbed his hand, pressing it to my belly. “That does mean you’re happy about the baby, right?” His answer was to duck his head and kiss the spot where his hand was. My heart warmed at the affection. “The cleats were a good touch,” he whispered against my stomach, “I can’t wait to teach them how to play football with me.” I ran my fingers through his hair, imagining it, Niall and our son or daughter kicking a ball around in the backyard.

"Oh! Wait! I need you to open one more present!“ His eyes lit up as he leaped to his feet and took off out of the room, through the hall, and…to the front door? "Be right back!” He slipped out into the snowy night in just a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and some socks, and I felt cold for him. I also felt a little annoyed again, at him just taking off in the middle of such a perfect moment, but I was prepared to be annoyed at him for the rest of my life. He returned, shivering violently and carrying the bag from the gas station. “What the hell?!” I cried as he tossed it into my hands and fell down on the ground beside me. Niall just winked and nodded at the bag, urging me to look inside. I read the word “pine” on the package before I actually pulled out the object and saw what it was, and I didn’t think I had it in me to cry about anything else, but—like I said, he was just so cute. “It’s an air freshener!” He announced, as if I didn’t know, “So it can smell like Christmas.” As thankful for it as I was, I dropped the gift in my lap and leaned forward to cup Niall’s cheeks and give him another big kiss. He was smiling into it, wider than I had ever known him to smile before.

"So, you’re happy right? Really happy?“ I waited for the next question, the one that I knew was coming, and Niall asked, "Does that mean we can have sex now?” To tease him, I looked off to the side and tapped a finger to my chin, as if I had to consider it. “I guess so,” I finally answered him, “but only because I love you.”

[sprinkleofhappinessuniverse]

Bets Are A Dish Best Served Cold - Part 1 (Bucky x Reader)

Synopsis - (Sort of) Enemies to Lovers AU Based on Amy and Jake from Brooklyn 99. You and Bucky are two of Brooklyn’s best detectives, however its known throughout the precinct that you two are as good as nemesises as far as petty jabs and insults are concerned. After being partnered up on a case the two of you make a bet to see who can make the most arrests before the end of summer. Both tensions and feelings are riled. Are the two of you destined to be enemies or something else? 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of robberies, vandalism and graffiti, petty arguing, Bucky being a smug ass 

Word Count: 2,880

A/N: First and foremost, I dedicate this Fic to @poe-also-bucky because Michelle is awesome and always so kind 💙

So I love Brooklyn 99 and Jake and Amy are one of my OTPs and yesterday whilst washing up the dishes I came up with this idea based on their bet is Season one! This idea was literally nagging me so I just had to write it despite needing to finish and write other fics, This won't be a majorly long series, maybe only 6 parts? But if you'd like to be tagged, let me know! 

"So how's work life with your temporary partner?" Natasha said, smirking a little as she walked over to your desk holding two cups of coffees.

"Ugh, don't remind me." You groaned rubbing your forehead. "Bucky is insufferable."

"Well, I've got to say, you've surprised me, I really thought one of you would have killed the other by now." She chuckled, taking a sip from one of the cups.

It was pretty much known throughout the precinct that you and Bucky couldn't go more than ten minutes without some snarky remark, petty jab or insults that may or not lead to an argument and you threatening to throw your stapler at his head.

It wasn't that you hated Bucky, in fact you actually felt a small admiration for the man. He was intelligent and extremely athletic making him a more than capable detective, despite one of his arms being a prosthetic. When you first met him you were actually impressed by his determination and talents. Any fondness you felt for the man then soon dissolved as the two of you were met with a personality clash. 

You would be the last person to admit that both you and Bucky were extremely similar despite the contrast of your personalities. Where he possessed the emotional maturity of a ten year old, discovering playboy magazines for the first time you were prudent and serious - minded. Clint had joked that you were the "mother" of the police force.

When he wasn't on the field and making arrests, Bucky's focus plummeted from 10 to zero. It seemed his focus was replaced with the ability to be the most obnoxiously unbearable man in Brooklyn. His locker stunk as though something had died, the same as his desk drawers which just had to be situated next to yours. He was constantly playing around with things on his desk, flicking pen lids and paper clips at you, singing out of key or making references to Tom Cruise movies. 

Yes, James Buchanan Barnes was utterly infuriating and unfortunately your captain - Nick Fury - had partnered the two of you up on a recent case involving a robbery from a small family, The Wicks. Both you and Bucky had come to some sort of conclusion that it was most probably an inside job. A large amount of jewellery and a thousand dollars that was tucked away in a safe were stolen and from the statements you received from the family, they seems somewhat private, reserved, nobody knew too much about them. You were convinced it was the father, Frank Wicks, his alibi didn't match up to the witness reports at a diner which he said he was the time of the robbery and overall was a fishy guy, like many other criminals you have dealt with.

“Morning, what's up.” Clint greeted you and Natasha. He took the unoccupied cup of coffee from Natasha before leaning against your desk and taking a sip.

“Y/N’s telling me how delightful Bucky is to work with.” Natasha chuckled.

“I didn't know it was possible to be that...infuriating. I'm this close to wrangling the man myself.” You groaned earning an amused smirk from Clint.

“Yeah, Bucky’ll do that to you.” Clint replied.

“Anyway,” you began, now sounding a little more upbeat. “I think I've cracked the case. I think--” before you could finish your sentence the doors to the interrogation room opened up. You didn't know anyone was occupying it and when you saw who walked out with a triumphant grin on his face you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

“Guess who just solved their latest case!” He exclaimed. You and Natasha exchanged a look. Why had Bucky interrogated a suspect without you? You were supposed to be partners, not that you wanted to be.

“What? You arrested Frank Wicks?” You asked.

“Nope. Try Dalia, the nanny.”

“What? But Frank--”

“The only crime Frank Wicks is guilty of is having affair with his wife. While it's sleazy and immoral it's not exactly illegal.”

“But how did you find out it was Dalia? You didn't bring her in just to spite me did you?” You frowned, crossing your arms..

“Not everything's about you, doll.” He said condescendingly. “No. I realised something didn't quite add up. You see, when Dalia went to steal the jewellery and money she stole a nanny-cam teddy bear with her. Of course, Frank and Harriet Wicks were so caught up in having their money and jewellery stolen they didn't even realise the bear until a phone call from Harriet. I took it upon myself to chase up Dalia and sure enough caught her trying to destroy the bear. Checked out the footage and boom! Found our culprit. That and she confessed.”

He never wiped the smug grin off his face on his face. This and the small crowd that had gathered around Bucky to hear his fascinating story and were now clapping made you roll your eyes.

“Sorry you weren't there to witness my victory, doll.” Bucky winked.

“I could've sworn it Frank Wicks and why couldn't you have run this by me first?”

“There was no time! If I had waited for you to iron your pantsuits and carefully cut up your breakfast I would never have caught Dalia in time. And have you ever considered that maybe I'm just a better detective?” He teased. You glared at him.

Within moments, Peter Parker, one of the police officers, was guiding a guilty looking Dalia out of the interrogation room.

“Book her Peter!” Bucky shouted, doing his best movie-police-detective voice.

“Um, detective Barnes, I've kinda already arrested her.” Peter mumbled back, looking a little uncertain.

“Peter buddy, just go along with it okay? Don't ruin the moment.” He said before putting his sunglasses on his face. “That's how we do it in Brooklyn.”

“Wow.” You said, rolling you eyes, which you were sure was the hundredth time.

“Doll, Don't pretend you don't love this,” he said making an exaggerated gesture to himself.

Your morning was going great. You couldn't help but feel irritated. If there was one thing you hated, it was being wrong. Especially at the expense of Bucky Barnes. That man just knew how to ruin your day.

Eventually the hype died down and Nick Fury walked out of his office.

“Captain!” Bucky called, raising his hand. “I just solved the Wicks case, all by myself.” He looked at you, smirking. Nick Fury however, didn't look as impressed much to your amusement.

“Barnes, why are you wearing sunglasses inside?” Nick Fury asked, swooning at him.

“Because he's trying to achieve The title of ‘World’s Biggest Douchebag’ and trust me he's well on his way.” You said. Nick Fury didn't say anything. He just glared both of you before motioning for the two of you to come into his office.

“What's up Cap? Is Y/N in trouble? Do I finally get to see what she's like when faced with the disapproval of her boss?” Bucky teased.

“Ugh, I cannot wait for Wilson to get back.” You said.

“Ouch. Hurtful.” Bucky deadpanned.

“Can you too shut up be quiet and act like professionals?” Nick Fury said, glowering at the both of you. You pursed your lips and nodded quickly, hating the fact that your boss could be even a little mad with you. “I have a new case for you, there have been multiple reports of vandalism at the community centre. Not only that but just last night a few windows were smashed. We have reason to believe it was committed by just one person. I want you two to go out interview a couple of people, see what you can find. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes sir.” Both you and Bucky said in unison. 

“Good and try not to kill each other.” He said. The two of you nodded and headed out the door. “Oh, and Barnes, good job on the Wicks case today.” Yep, Bucky was the most infuriating man in Brooklyn.

You had interviewed a couple of people and didn't seem to have any luck identifying the culprit. As the two of you walked down the street to interview another person a boy - most likely the age of nineteen and wearing a green hoodie with red backpack and black water bottle in the side - bumped into you.

“Ouch!” You exclaimed, unable to bite down your annoyance.

“Watch where you're going, jackass!” The boy shouted at you. Anger boiled inside you and you whipped around to face the boy.

“Hey, you better--”

“Hey, hey hey. We’re on a job remember?” Bucky said grabbing your arm. The boy waved you off before stalking off. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself before shrugging Bucky’s arm of you. “Not very professional, detective.” He said, humour in his voice. You rolled your eyes before walking towards the next house.

“I know that look, don't go jumping to conclusions Y/N.’ Bucky said as the two of you made your way down the steps after interviewing the person at the last house.

She was an elderly woman, very kind and friendly, who had informed you that her suspicions were on Craig Harris, a nineteen year old “troubled boy”. According to her he was often extremely rude and had been known for graffiting. She noted that he often graffitied his initials CH, in a very specific way. You had noticed this on the sidewalk floor a little way away. She also said that he almost always wore a green hoodie and red backpack.

“What he carries around, I can't tell you - help yourself to some more lemonade dear!” She had said to the two of you. The description seemed to fit the boy who bumped into you earlier that day and you were more than happy to catch him.

“Well the boy who hurt me earlier seems to fit the description.” You said, sternly.

“Oh please, it was barely a scrape.” Bucky replied. You chose not to argue back with him knowing he was only saying it to wind you up.

“Let's check out the community centre, see if we can spot anything.” You said “sniff out some clues.” He said, half joking.

“Okay Velma.” You snorted.

“Seriously? I'm definitely more of a Daphne.” He grinned.

The two of you made your way to the community centre. Your intuition was telling you to check out the back, so that's where you made your way first, Bucky scurrying behind. Sure enough crouched down, spray can in hand was Craig Harris. You quietly walked closer and could see a CH Painted on. You looked at Bucky.

“Y/N wait. This still doesn't mean he's behind it all.” Bucky said. You ignored him and continued walking over to him. “If you're wrong, you owe me a drink!”

“Are you Craig Harris?” You said once you reached him.

“What's it to you?” He said before looking up at you. “You're the chick who got in my way earlier!”

“You bumped into me,” you said, stopping yourself before you ranted on further, “I see you've been...decorating. Tell me Craig Harris, you hear about the smashed window?”

“Who are you the police?”

“Actually I am.” You said, flashing your badge, smiling once you saw the unmistakable look of guilt on his face. “Tell me where were you yesterday evening?”

“I ain't telling you nothing.” He barked, putting the spray can in his bag before quickly putting it on.

“Really? You see, we have reason to believe you may be connected. Pretty fishy, you graffiting the same place that got damaged. And you will be punished for this by the way so you got anything to hide, it might be best you confess.” You said. This kid had pissed you off so you were paying bad cop. Well your version anyway.

Craig hesitated and glanced between the two of you before sighing.

“Alright I did it. But it's only because those guys are dicks!” He exclaimed. You gave pLucky your best “told you so” look and got out your handcuffs and reached out for his arm.

“Not a good enough reason Craig.” You said. Bucky stepped forward.

“Craig Harris you're under arrest--” he began.

“Bucky, it's okay.” You said. Bucky stopped and cocked his head in confusion. You smiled before turning back to Craig.

“Craig Harris you're under arrest…” you began listing out his offence and Miranda rights. Bucky rolled his eyes once he realised you only stopped him from talking so you could carry out the arrest, getting back at him for Wicks case.

“Y/N!” Natasha called to you at the end of the day. “Clint’s invited me and few other for drinks, you up for it?”

“I've been dealing with Bucky Barnes all day. I'm more than up for it.” You said, shutting down your computer and getting your bag and jacket.

As you sat down with Clint and Natasha in the bar down the road from the precinct, you sighed in relief that you no longer had to work with Bucky for one day. You were exhausted and a drink is just what you needed. 

“Get this down you.” Clint said sliding you over a glass. You smiled gratefully as you began to take sip. You almost choked when you saw Bucky walk over, sunglasses pushed to the top of his head with a cocky smile. There was no escaping him...

The good news was Sam and Steve followed behind him and you were glad to see your best friend and work partner again. 

“I didnt miss the party did I.” Bucky said sitting down next to Natasha. Ignoring him you got up and hugged Sam. 

"Sam! I've missed you! Save me from this...douchenozzle.” You said. Sam laughed. 

“Yeah I missed you too, partner, thankfully me and Steve finished our case but I think Fury wants us to work another one together.” He said. You groaned. 

“Why you're supposed to be my partner. If I work with Bucky anymore I might end up murdering him.” You grumbled. 

“Well, you lasted longer than I would have.” He joked.

“You know I'm right here, right?” Bucky said, though he didn't look offended. “You're just pissy, Y/N, because I solved the Wicks case this morning.” 

“"Well, I arrested Craig Harris, wich by the way you owe me a drink seeing as I was right.” 

“Nope I only said you owe me a drink if you were wrong.” He said shrugging. “And it doesn't matter anyway, I'm still the better detective.” 

“In your dreams. We all know I make more arrests and solve more cases than you do.” You argued. Bucky snorted before standing up. He paused and a sly smile crept on his face. You knew whatever he was thinking wouldn't be good, 

“You sure about that sweetheart?” 

“Uh-huh.” You stubbornly replied, despite being wary of him. He walked over to the bar and got himself a drink. He walked over to you and made you hold your drink before lifting his up. 

“Why don't we make a bet?” He said. You raised an eyebrow. “"you heard me. A bet. Whoever makes the most arrests by...let's say...the end of August, so two months for now, wins. They get to take the loser on a date.” You paused, considering it for a moment. You knew it was petty and borderline ridiculous but you couldn't help but give in to your competitive side. Besides you really wanted to win and okay the worst date imaginable just to get back at Bucky. 

You raised your glass and smiled.

“Okay, let's do this.” You said. 

"Good. Let's drink on it.” He said before taking a swig from his glass. You obliged and all your friend around you erupted into a chorus of cheers “ooohs”.

“Better prepare for the date now Y/N because I will win and you will fall in love with me.” He said smugly.

“You wish “ 

Tags: @poe-also-bucky @lilasiannerd @thegenderqueerbatman

[orindasfinest]

TDFL PR W#1

Welcome to the first installment of the TouchDongers Foobaw Lig Power Rankings  yadda yadda this doesn’t really require any introduction – reading this is kind of like waking up in a virtual gulag in a Black Mirror episode. You can feign ignorance all you want, but you know deep down why you’re here, Mohamed Jetta.

I’m hosting this on tumblr because it’s barely more public than a google doc thanks to the porn ban that whisked away all my piss bookmarks just as I was starting to make real inroads on a new fetish. Thanks for nothing you Puritan technocrats. If the pageviews from this post give you 35 more cents in your next worthless sale I demand compensation in the form of 45 second clips of coeds soaking granite countertops.

Pay your league dues so I can indulge my second favorite fluffing pastime of mailing people ostentatious shit they don’t need. I’m accepting submissions for the name of the championship trophy. Current front-runner is The Shiny Hiney so you might want to get on that (and I’m not talking about scaling Griffin’s stark-white cracked mountainside prone to avalanches and civilian suffocation)

WITH PLENTY OF FAFFING ABOUT

10. Leaguema Balls (Dirty Mike)

Record: 0-1 | PF: 73 | PA: 167.7

Playing Next: Airstrip One Ezekiels Engels (Derv)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Living with the knowledge that he gave himself forehead welts

The only man in double digits for team score created a gulf between himself and the rest of the field almost as big as the space between his eyeballs. I’m not saying Mike’s squad is already done for, but on the heels of many players demanding trades from Miami after their week one demolition, Travis Kelce called his agent and said he wouldn’t do another mind-numbingly stupid McDonald’s commercial until he was cut loose to go play for another Dongers contender. Not only was this performance abysmal, but I can’t even label it an outlier because Devonta Freeman is now hurt and his 3 other major skill players are from the NFC North where points are harder to find than Josh Gordon’s 2 week AA chip.

9. Airstrip One Ezekiels Engels (Derv)

Record: 0-1 | PF: 120.9 | PA: 151.6

Playing Next: I just fukcing did this one

Questionable Decision of the Week: the Mets

Writing a summary of Derv’s fantasy prospects feels a lot like breaking the news to a wounded soldier that he’s had to have his dick amputated. Sure, you’re not technically dead, but what is there to live for? Derv has two good quarterbacks in a league where you can only start one, which marks the first and last time she’ll have two men vying for one of her slots. Zeke ended his holdout just in time to put up 12 points a game because Jerruh will be GOT DAMNED if he pays anyone an obscene amount of money and then has them succeed. Her best wide receiver made softcore porn with Pete Carroll. I’d rather read The Sun Also Rises again than keep looking at this roster to make any more jokes.

8. James White is Right (Tori)

Record: 0-1 | PF: 131.2 | PA: 173.4

Playing Next: The Queen’s Booty Lickers (Liv)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Thinking that being introverted is a substitute for a personality

Tori ran into a Clemson-scented buzzsaw this week and was really not at fault for the enormity of her loss, which is more than I can say about the fact that 85% of her Sundays vanish into her duvet cover because she got alcohol poisioning after gagging down 3 jello shots and looking at her bottle of listerine before she got into bed. That considered, though, she’s going to need Austin Ekeler to keep putting up 40-point games like he’s not a body double from ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’ AND she’ll need Matt Ryan to learn what side of a football holds the white thingies for her to get any kind of consistent production going forward. Much like she would say about Sacramento being a gangrenous taint, “I just don’t see it.”

7. Sean’s Hard Mangos (sean)

Record: 0-1 | PF: 130.7 | PA: 136.2

Playing Next: Mark Ruffalo’s Ruffalo Bills (Aidan)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Paying more than the cost of a Notre Dame education for a military-grade laser-guided beard trimmer

Sean dropped his game versus Griffin in the closest fight since the donnybrook between his ex-girlfriend and sanity. A couple breaks here and there and he might have come away with a W. Unfortunately, Tyreek Hill will be out for an indefinite period of time after finding out that it’s hard to box with people who aren’t 5 years old and Evan Engram is going to put up 28 points again as soon as Father Jenkins decides it’s high time to adhere to his vow of poverty. His third-leading scorer this week was his kicker. Last time everyone discovered so obviously that something fishy was afoot Sean needed his location tracked to a downtrodden dormitory fuck-barn.

6. Mark Ruffalo’s Ruffalo Bills (Aidan)

Record: 1-0 | PF: 151.6 | PA: 120.9

Playing Next: Reading comprehension

Questionable Decision of the Week: $45 says he’s still doing Fontaine to all of his roommates and they’re plotting in equal measures to cut him out of the will and to put a steak knife in his femoral artery

Big boy trade man saw his wheeling and dealing pay off, running contrary to his favorite Silver-and-Black organization, and to the time he swapped his dignity for his desktop toaster oven. Drew Brees stepped up, and not just on the baby footstool he uses to properly gaze into the bathroom mirror to examine his face birthmark that looks like Spaghetti-O cum. Julio and JuJu took the field, which is worth 15 points apiece in standard ESPN scoring. Outside of that, though, we have another aberrant kicker performance, this one from Harrison “Anal” Butker, and Josh Jacobs putting up 25 against a Broncos defense more porous than an Aidan snap group selfie. Expect a greater fall from grace than that of the Robert Pattinson Porsche launching itself from the car WTC.

5. Cartoon Colt Copulation (Gabe)

Record: 0-1 | PF: 127.1 | PA: 145.3

Playing Next: The Birds Have Arrived (John)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Drafting from Hawaii during my last day on that particular vacation because I value disposable carnal pleasures more than lasting memories with my aging and loving parents

This ranking is like the number of inches I used to tell Tinder hookers after snapping them at 2AM: obviously inflated because I think I’m in control. A charitable read tells you that all of my risky/reachy picks paid off in spades and that I was one Desean Jackson start from starting the season off strong. A realistic assessment brings you back to the reality of the fact that depending on Desean Jackson for a victory is a lot like expecting me to bring you to orgasm. I’m just going to drop out before anyone crosses the line. Can’t wait to be 0-6 by the time AJ Green and Golden Tate come back, leaving me in a scramble for respectability that nobody respects, much like how I acquired my college degree.

4. Poo Poo Point Diarrheas (Griff)

Record: 1-0 | PF: 136.2 | PA: 130.7

Playing Next: TEAM DUMPSTER BEARS (Lauren)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Being really fucking amped about his band despite ostensibly not being under the influence of cocaine

Griffin’s starting lineup is the quintessential example of boom or bust, which is odd, because I thought the quintessential example of boom or bust was his nightly decision between offing himself and masturbating. Every single one of his starting skill players suits up for the Panthers, the Chargers, or the Rams. That diversity is so poor that it makes Mendoza look like the fucking United Nations. I’d tell you to branch out, Griff, but your bench is thinner than you if you were half your size and if half your size wasn’t also still fat. Will Lutz, your kicker, almost tripled the score of your quarterback. As the signal-caller in question is none other than Cameron Newton, I imagine that we won’t be hearing from Tori for a while, as her resultant pussy surge at a black man’s failure sent all of her electronics into traction.

3. TEAM DUMPSTER BEARS (Lolo)

Record: 1-0 | PF: 173.4 | PA: 131.2

Playing Next: What cruel twist of fate caused me to do the rankings like this

Questionable Decision of the Week: Letting me find out you actually own a Deshaun Watson jersey as if I didn’t already have enough roasting ammunition

Wowie! High score! Hope you’re hard at work roasting up some tasty crow for me to eat after my little draft-day Clemson jab because A) You cook so infrequently you thought a “burner” was one of the twitter accounts you use to solicit Hunter Renfrow dick pics and B) this is the last week you even sniff this stratosphere of point-getting. It is not often I flex my fantasy football “expertise” because clearly I don’t know shit about fuck but anyone who’s played this sick game of roulette for more than one season has learned the unalienable truth that you CANNOT TRUST SAMMY WATKINS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Holy god that 46.8-spot is a bigger mirage than someone looking at your hair under favorable light and thinking it has volume. Sammy will get run over by a stock car, Deshaun will have his spleen removed in week 6 when Laremy Tunsil turns his back on a bootleg to get fitted for a new nicotine gas mask, and your chances of success will disappear faster than your willingness to take on any more of my emotional baggage once I let you in the cargo hold. Much like our relationship, enjoy it while it lasts.

2. The Queen’s Booty Lickers (Liv)

Record: 1-0 | PF: 145.3 | PA: 127.1

Playing Next: James White is Right (Tori)

Questionable Decision of the Week: We won’t find out till next week, when she gets in contact again and sends 14 messages, 13 of which relate to topics nobody remembers and 1 of which is feloniously horny

It is cruel fucking fate that the Eagles stans would fly to the top of the power rankings from the word go. I know I attract toxic elements to my life, but being friends with multiple people from Philadelphia is like trying to run a fever to get out of going to school and instead having both your arms fed into an original Eli Whitney cotton gin. Liv didn’t even draft her squad, which probably explains why both Dak and Amari are both properly valued and are on this roster, ready to put up a combined 245 points a game because NFC East teams treat defense like Louis CK does consent. They don’t really think about it much. Hey Liv, hope that reflective road vest is enough to save you when Griffin trips coming out of a show and rolls downhill for 5 miles. It’s a good thing you have OBJ because you both look like closeted lesbians trying to stand out in Catholic school.

1. The Birds Have Arrived (John)

Record: 1-0 | PF: 167.7 | PA: 73

Playing Next: Cartoon Colt Copulation (idk some guy, poor bastard)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Getting piss on the floor of his bathroom, totally missing my mouth

This is a truly upsetting squad about which to write a recap. John’s team put up the second-most points with consistent performances across the board despite having AB and Melvin Gordon on the shelf. I haven’t been this worried about two people returning since John’s parents told him they were just going down to the store for a pack of cigarettes. It’s tough to not look at this lineup and be intimidated, so now we all know how John’s organs feel when they receive the message from his tastebuds that there’s a combination of peanut butter, salsa, Drano, and barbeque sauce slathered on a cheesesteak coming down the hatch. At least that sub is still more palatable than his dating life. John wanted me to hear two words: Antonio Brown. I got 2(1) words for ya, John: You’re the Anthony Fantano of book reviews if Fantano looked like Steve Brule and had the follower base of the Shakers.

See ya next week!

-Commish