#we'd talk about everything and anything until we ran out of things to talk about

[cosmicmakos]

imagine going for a romantic walk in the park with your f/o, holding hands and talking the entire time

[plutonianeris]

𓆩♱𓆪 ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: what is the sexual chemistry like? { letter from your future lover } 🔥 18+

take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Interpret & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

🖤⛓ PILE ONE

There was something about you that felt off-limits from the start. Even when we were flirting, eyes glinting as we teased each other, it felt like we'd never get past that point. Everything felt exciting and incredibly new to me while I was with you. Like I was some teen, stuttering in front of a girl I wanted to go to prom with. You were just so fucking stunning, in the way your eyes met mine across the room and darkened, in the way you spoke with such a charming and determined tone. I couldn't help but think of the smokiness in your voice as you bossed me around in the bedroom, forcing me to fucking beg for it, for you. And I would do it in a heartbeat every single time. I had no idea we'd wind up in a serious and committed relationship, and it made me nervous at first. But I knew straight away that I wanted to treat you right and provide you with all you desired.

How quickly you became my muse with the way you loved to stand up and advocate for others… how you nurture the relationships with the people you care about. I couldn’t help but agree with them on how easy it is to fall in love with someone like you. You told me how much you liked the flowers I bought for you every week, the luxurious perfumes, the pricy lotions that I rubbed your feet with. The necklace I delicately clasped around your neck, my hands firmly resting on your shoulders as we peered in the mirror at ourselves. I was paying close attention to how my fingers lingered on the back of your neck, traveled down your back, and finally gripped your ass. As you leaned back against my chest to watch, as I firmly ran my hand around the curves of your body, hands then reaching up to massage your breasts, my heart picking up speed at the small noise that escaped your lips. Your long lashes fluttered as you looked at me, pupils dilated.

I knew there would be no one else after you the first time we were together. I feel like from the moment we both took our first breaths something aligned in the stars, call it god or fate or destiny or anything you’d fucking like… but we were meant to be. No one like you exists anyplace on this fucking earth. You look gorgeous every day, whether it's you dressing up when we go out for dinner or right before bed.  I'll never tire of your exquisite and lovely features, the way you slowly remove your lingerie as you approach closer and closer until you're on top of me, straddling my hips. We're such a fucking power couple, I swear. We look amazing together.

ᘛ♰ᘚ tip jar ᘛ♰ᘚ

🖤⛓ PILE TWO

I knew you were my dream girl from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were always in your head, doodling on the corners of your paper or listening to music with your headphones in. I would have given anything to be inside your head, seeing the world through your eyes. Your beauty is ethereal and ravishing and is meant to be worshipped. The way men looked at you with lust in their eyes made me want to rip their heads off, my eyes boring into theirs as my arm wrapped around your shoulder, holding you close. I enjoyed our dates more than you will ever know, the museum visits, walks around the park, and the way you could see the magic in even the most fleeting of things. I was addicted to you, to your laughter, to your life philosophies and spirituality, to spending time with you. You turn me on without even touching me.

And even when you were vulnerable, when you talked about your fears and anxieties while I wiped your tears away, my hand caressing your face… even in those moments, maybe even more so, you looked like a goddess. I wish you could see yourself how I see you. I never shied away from you, who the fuck would ever try to distance themselves from you?? Only a fool. When we were in bed I wanted to attend to your every need, to show you with my mouth and hands how much I valued yours.

I loved how your body tensed as you came, your breath fast as your back arched under my hand. We were ravenous as if we couldn't get enough of one other, our sex drives skyrocketing at all times. As your body relaxed at the familiarity, our bare chests squeezed together like a coin clasped between firm praying hands. Soaked between your legs, you guided my hand to show me exactly how much, our bodies coming alive once again. There was nothing else that I wanted. You infiltrated my dreams, my subconscious, and my fantasies. Maybe it was a little unhealthy the pedestals we put each other on…but this is the love that people pray for. I was willing to surrender anything for it.

ᘛ♰ᘚ tip jar ᘛ♰ᘚ

🖤⛓ PILE THREE

You were always so put-together, organized… You just looked beautiful at all times, no matter when I happened to see you, your beauty was always so refreshing. Watching you problem solve was always so fascinating and…. also you looked so fucking adorable. The quizzical look on your face when you were trying to figure something out. How easily you were to hold the door open for a stranger, to offer your last dollar to anyone who needed it. And then I would feel like an asshole the way I would check you out when you weren't looking… but listen, you're loving and caring and kind… also so fucking attractive.

My eyes would linger on your chest, then glance lower at your beautiful legs. They looked so smooth and soft. Who knew they were eventually going to end up around my neck? Dating you and getting to see you and be with you makes my chest ache with how happy I am with life right now… I've never met someone I look forward to running errands with. There is nothing on this earth that we could do together that would feel dull to me. I love painting with you, talking to you, checking out local spots with you. I love grabbing your face and smothering your with kisses, my arm wrapped tightly around you as you laugh, playfully trying to push me off. I never thought in my fucking life I would be acting like this in a relationship. My friends love to tease me about it but theres not even one bit of embarrassment that comes up.

I was surprised at how you let your hair done once you got comfortable, the way you were the first one to kiss me, your arms wrapping around my neck as I lifted you up, your legs around my waist as we headed towards my bedroom. Trust me when I say that the surprise faded quickly. I could spend the rest of my life listening to you gasp in my ear, eyebrows furrowing and a moan escaping your lips as my fingers slide in and out of you. I never wanted to keep you waiting, always wanting to match your pace, hand roughly gripping your throat as you moaned that I could finish inside you. How lovely, the ways in which we always take care of each other.

ᘛ♰ᘚ tip jar ᘛ♰ᘚ

© plutonianeris 🕷

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 10

On Sunday evening Loki just relaxed at home, recovering after the party last night, reading a book with a glass of white wine while Bat slept soundly right next to him on the sofa.

His phone suddenly ringing made Bat jump, she let out an annoyed meow before closing her eyes again while Loki chuckled and answered the phone, it was Lucius.

‘Hey, Dad. Is everything’

‘Loki, I need you to come down to the hospital. Right now.’

Loki ran out the door quicker than you could say bat. It was unusual in itself for his dad to call him, normally he just communicated via text to organise a meet up, but he sounded really troubled on the phone, which made Loki’s stomach sink. This wasn’t going to be good.

When Loki arrived at the hospital, he went in the usual vampire entrance, Lucius stood there waiting for him. He started walking quickly up the corridor as Loki reached him.

‘What’s going on?’ Loki asked as he rushed alongside.

‘The twins that you told me about with Chris last week, they were hunting humans, but it went very, very wrong. A vampire hunter went after them, silver bullets, took out Stevie.’

Loki stopped dead in his tracks, his heart shattered, he felt like he was about to be sick.

‘Son, come on. Kirsten is in shock, she could do with your support. She knows you, she might open up more about what happened.’

Loki managed to get himself to walk again, but his mind span. ‘How… how did she get away?’

‘That’s the thing. Someone else was watching, she managed to save Kirsten in time, but not Stevie. She killed the hunter, then brought Kirsten here.’ Lucius explained.

‘What? Who?’ Loki frowned.

‘I don’t know, she wore a large cloak and had her hood up. Didn’t say anything at all when she dropped Kirsten here at the doors, she waited until someone came to help Kirsten then she ran off. Kirsten managed to tell me that she was the one who saved her from a hunter.’

Lucius took Loki into a private room, where Kirsten sat on the edge of the bed, in complete hysterics, rocking back and fore. Her chin was covered in blood from a feed, and it had dripped down and smeared on her jacket.

‘Do you have any clean clothes she can get changed into?’ Loki asked a nurse, who nodded and rushed off to get some.

‘Kirsten… Hey, it’s me, Loki.’ He said softly as he picked up a basin and cloth that perched at the end of the bed, he walked on front of her and crouched down so he was in her view.

Her eyes widened slightly as she recognised him. ‘Mr Laufeyson?’ She whispered.

‘That’s me.’ Loki nodded and smiled softly.

Kirsten stopped rocking, but she looked completely shell shocked, she didn’t say anything else. Loki dipped the cloth into the warm water and began wiping the blood off her face.

‘You’re ok, Kirsten. You’re safe here. You’re not in any trouble either, but can you tell me what happened?’ Loki kept his voice soft and low for her. He finished cleaning her face then put the cloth back into the basin, the water had turned red as he pushed it out of the way.

‘My… my brother…’ She began sobbing uncontrollably.

‘I know, I know.’ He put his hand to the back of her head and pulled her into him. She cried against his shoulder until she had no more tears left.

She leaned back and looked at Loki through her tears. ‘I’m sorry…’ She whispered. ‘We knew it was wrong, but we… we thought it would be fun. After the traditional hunt, we couldn’t help ourselves after we'd had a taste. We should’ve stuck to the blood bags. I thought we’d be safe, Chris suggested that area.’

Loki’s eyes blazed red but he instantly calmed himself down. He looked over his shoulder at Lucius, who shook his head and ran a hand down his face.

‘Did Chris pressure you into doing this? Did he force you to go to the yearly hunt?’ Loki asked firmly.

‘No… not really. Stevie always talked about it growing up, he couldn’t wait to join when we became of age. Though Chris did tell us we didn’t have to wait for the next one to hunt, that we could just go and do it when we wanted to. He gave us a few areas that was supposed to be safe to do so…’ She began crying again, so Loki consoled her as best he could until her parents arrived.

When they arrived, Loki went to leave, but Lucius grabbed his arm. ‘Loki, where are you going?’

‘Where do you think?’ Loki snapped.

‘I’m sure he didn’t mean for this to happen.’ Lucius spoke quietly.

‘Remember last year, when Georgina was murdered by a hunter? A mere week after the traditional hunt. Do you really think Chris didn’t have a say in telling her to do it too?’

Lucius faltered and looked down.

‘Exactly. You know it and I know it, Chris doesn’t give a shit about what happens to these kids. All he cares about is the stupid traditional ways.’ Loki hissed, he then stormed out of the room, leaving Lucius to talk with Kirsten and her parents.

Loki saw red as he flew to Chris’ house. He lived right on the outskirts of the city, in an overly large Victorian style house.

Loki landed in the garden and turned back into his vampire form as he stormed up the path towards the front door. As Loki reached the bottom of the steps, the door swung open and Chris smirked cockily as he stepped outside and leaned back against the wall, arms folded over his chest.

‘Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?’

Loki stormed up the steps and instantly swung for him, punching him in the face. ‘YOU SENTENCED STEVIE TO HIS DEATH!’ Before Loki could get in another hit, Chris managed to block him with his forearm.

‘What are you on about?’ Chris snarled and pushed Loki down a few steps, to get a bit of space.

‘You know EXACTLY what I am on about. You’re sending these kids to their death, you’re so obsessed with the old ways and tradition. It’s sick and needs to be stopped.’ Loki shouted and lunged for him again.

Chris went for Loki too, but Loki ducked down, he grabbed Chris by the leg and tossed him off the porch. Chris slammed into the ground and skidded halfway down the garden. As he got up to his feet, his jaw clenched and his eyes were blazing red as he cracked his neck to each side.

Loki was poised, ready. However, he could never truly be ready to fight with Chris.

Chris took one big leap and swiftly landed back on the porch as he slammed into Loki, smashing them both down through the wooden decking and down into the dirt. He wrapped his hand around Loki’s throat, to keep him pinned down.

‘You can never get rid of tradition.’ Chris spat at him. ‘I think you’re forgetting, little brother, I am one of the originals. You can never beat me in strength. The traditions you are trying to erase, it’s in our blood. It’s in all of our blood, our true instincts.’

‘Your traditions are sadistic and out-dated.’ Loki struggled as he gripped Chris’ forearm, but couldn’t get him off.

‘Are you forgetting that it wasn’t just me that made these traditions, that made vampires what they are today. Our precious father was all for it too, until your mother came along and got him wrapped around her little finger.’ Chris sneered.

‘Do NOT bring her into this! He saw you’d gone too far with power, wanting to wipe out all the humans was too far.’ Loki shouted at him as best he could.

‘Only because of her.’ Chris snarled.

Loki turned into a bat to get out of Chris’ grip, he flew around behind him then turned again and attacked Chris from behind, he managed to grab his arm and pulled it back so far that a distinct snapping sound could be heard from Chris' shoulder as he let out a cry. Chris was able to grab hold of Loki with his good arm and jumped them both up from under the porch, they landed on the grass, tumbling around.

Loki screamed in agony when Chris’ fangs emerged and he tore into Loki’s shoulder in retaliation, ripping a chunk of flesh right out of him.

‘ENOUGH!’ Came a booming voice as Lucius seemed to come out of nowhere and sent Chris flying off of Loki.

Chris rolled away a few feet before coming to a stop, he whipped his head up and grinned ferally, his mouth dripping with Loki's blood.

‘Welcome to the show, dad. How about for old times sake, we teach this punk a lesson on tradition together, hmm?’ Chris laughed manically as he stood up.

‘Enough, Chris!’ Lucius growled at him as he stood between his two sons. ‘Both of you need to stop this!’

‘He’s responsible for the death of one of our students!’ Loki yelled as he got up to his feet too, his hand over his shoulder that continued to bleed badly.

‘It’s not my fault if silly teenagers decided to go out hunting without proper due care and attention.’ Chris wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Loki tried to get at him again, though Lucius blocked him with his body. ‘He’s trying to get a rise out of you, Loki. Enough.’

Loki's nostrils flared and his breathing was heavy as he scowled at Chris.

‘Listen to daddy, Loki.’ Chris mocked.

‘Chris, enough from you too.’ Lucius snapped.

‘Are you forgetting this is my home? He came looking for me, not the other way around. Now, if we are finished here, I have better things to be doing.’ Chris turned and began walking up his path.

‘You’re going to get all of us killed at this rate, Chris. Vampire hunters are on the rise again, hunting innocent humans is only going to make it worse.’ Loki shouted after him.

Chris turned around but continued walking backwards. ‘Not my fault, if dad here hadn’t changed his mind all those years ago, the humans would all be extinct by now and we would be thriving without the worry of being hunted.’

‘We can live in harmony with the humans, dad has proved that over the last century. There’s no need for it.’ Loki argued.

‘It's time for humans to evolve. It will happen, eventually, whether you like it or not.’ Chris said as he headed inside and slammed the door shut.

Loki hissed in pain at his shoulder, more-so now his adrenaline began waning. Lucius gently took hold of his arm and pulled the fabric of his clothing out of the way, it was torn up anyway.

‘Please tell me you’re not about to do what I think you are.’ Loki groaned.

‘Do you want to walk all the way back to the hospital? You won’t be able to fly like this, it will carry over into your bat form.’ Lucius waited for an answer before continuing.

Loki sighed. ‘Ugh, fine.’

Lucius couldn’t help but chuckle at his son’s disgust. To be fair, coming out of a vial was less icky, but needs must. Lucius built up plenty of saliva in his mouth and then spat on Loki’s wound, it instantly began to heal over.

It wasn’t too painful for Loki as it healed, just a slightly odd tugging sensation as everything regrew and mended itself.

‘Sometimes I hate the fact you’re one of the original five, but then times like this I guess it is handy.’ Loki huffed as he moved his shoulder around, finding it to be perfectly normal again and he had full movement.

‘You really shouldn’t pick fights with Chris, you know better than anyone you can’t win against him.’ Lucius said.

‘How can you be so calm about this?’ Loki frowned.

Lucius sighed. ‘I know there’s nothing we can do to stop Chris from doing what he wants. There’s no point fighting, it will only make it worse. He thrives off riling people up, you should know this by now. We are still getting through to vampires about the new ways, we’ve come far from the olden days. If hunters are on the rise again, we need to pull together.’

Loki ran a hand down his face. ‘I need to go. Thank you, for healing me.’

Lucius nodded, they both turned into bats and flew up into the sky.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 9/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter Nine: Phone Call Home

When I woke up, I wanted to talk to Tim, but I felt so sick I spent half an hour in the bathroom running cool water over my head. Once I felt well enough, I traveled down the hall, looking for Tim... And I stumbled upon his darkroom. Tim was weird. I understood, but I didn't expect to see pictures of me in and out of costume. I turned on the red light. I looked around until I found a peg board with photos of Dick, Bruce, and me. He had several notes written underneath the pictures, pinned to the board. He must've been following us for years. He even had news clippings. I stumbled back. He already knew. He knew things that even I didn't. I left the room and shut the door before finding Tim and yanking him out of bed. "Jason, what's-?"

I shushed him. "When were you gonna tell me that you-? Tim, come with me," I commanded gently.

I dragged Tim behind me and gestured for him to open the darkroom door. Tim shook his head. "Tim, open the door. I want to talk to you in that room right now," I whispered.

"Before we go in there, I have something to tell you-."

"Tim, don't stall," I warned him. Tim shook his head.

"I'm not-." Tim took a deep breath in the dark hallway and looked down at his feet. "I'm not stalling. Jason, you're my best friend... And you're about to see things that aren't representative-. I want to be friends. I didn't know we'd get along so well... So I need you to know it was never my intention to use you."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I wanted to be mad at him, but he wasn't lying. "Tim, you knew this whole time?" I asked. Tim nodded.

"I wanted you to know the world-." Tim ushered me into the darkroom. "I needed you to know the world needed Robin... I had no idea that the world needs Jason too."

"Do you still think that I should be Robin?" I questioned.

Tim chewed his lip. "I believe you are Robin," Tim whispered. I wiped my tears away, and I embraced him.

I finally had someone in my life who believed in me. Tim froze up. "Tim, you are the only person that hasn't shut me down... Thank you," I whispered.

"Were you guys arguing about that?" Tim questioned. I nodded, and Tim pulled up two chairs. I told him everything. I told him how I felt and how desperate I was to return to my normal. I cried through most of it, but he listened. He cared, but he didn't pity me. He didn't even flinch when I asked him to destroy the evidence of our secret identities. "Can do. Jason, you can stay here as long as you want, and once you get your cast off... I wouldn't mind helping you with whatever you want to do."

That's when it started. My plan. After Tim went to bed, I sat up all night planning ―which made my headache even worse― but I came up with something so perfectly chaotic that it would only require half the student body at my high school. I showered and changed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. Then I returned to sleep. When I woke up, Ives was arguing with Tim in a soft whisper. I took my medication out of the duffel and opened the door. "Do you guys have anything I can eat? I'm not supposed to take these on an empty stomach," I requested. Tim nodded and ran downstairs, leaving Ives with me. Ives was a nice guy.

"You okay? I hope we weren't too weird or anything yesterday... We really were excited to have you there," Ives smiled.

"Uh-huh, I'm okay... I haven't had fun in a long time, and I hope I can join you guys again sometime," I replied. Ives smiled.

"Yeah, that'd be sick. I swore Hudson was gonna cry when you chose to stand by him in battle," Ives chuckled. I laughed too. Tim's friends were alright. Even Hudson. He was a bit of a knucklehead, though.

Tim returned with pizza, and we ate it cold, straight out of the box. I took my medication and checked the calendar on my phone to look at my appointments. Ives' mom came to pick him up after breakfast, but he gave me his number first.

After he left, I played video games with Tim in the living room. "Are we okay?" Tim asked.

"We're better than that. We're brothers now," I replied. Tim grinned.

"Cool," Tim replied.

My phone rang. I wouldn't have answered, but it was Alfred. "Hey, Tim. Pause. This is Alfred," I whispered. He obeyed, and I answered the phone.

"Master Jason, are you somewhere safe?" Alfred asked.

"Mhm, I'm at my friend's house. He said I could stay here for a while... And Alfred, I'm sorry about the porch," I apologized, "And don't tell Bruce where I am."

"I wouldn't think of doing such a thing. Stay out of trouble, and tell your friend I said hello," Alfred whispered before hanging up.

"Alfred says hi, Tim," I announced. Tim smiled.

"Jason, did you sleep last night?" Tim questioned.

"No, but I was thinking about the pictures on your wall... Do you actually think a high school kid hacked WayneTech earlier this year?" I asked. Tim nodded. "Do you think you can figure out who he is?"

"Probably... Why?" Tim asked.

"I want to piss off some very important people, and I think this hacker might have what we need," I replied.

"Jason, can I ask what you're-?"

I shook my head. "It's not that I don't trust you... It's-. This won't work unless you're in the dark for most of it... Also, I need to help you make a replica of my old costume because you're gonna have to be my Robin," I explained. I don't think Tim heard anything after that. He got up and started buzzing around his room, looking for his laptop. I felt sick again, so I went to his bathroom and stuck my head in the sink again. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I bumped my head on the faucet.

"Ouch! Jesus... Hello," I snapped as I answered the phone. I put it on speaker.

"Jason, you know I don't like to get involved in your stuff with Bruce-."

"Then don't," I replied. I had never talked to Barbara like that, but I was pissed.

"I get that you're mad and Bruce is being a complete bonehead... But you're acting like a child. If you want to prove him wrong, do that. Don't throw tantrums and run away from home. You're better than that," Barbara stated.

"You weren't there, Babs. I'd been swallowing my feelings on this for months. I'm sick of him. I've earned the right to flip out on him. How would you feel if he told you what he told me?" I asked.

"Jay, go home. Be pissed off if you wanna be. That's your right, but don't be childish-."

"I'm not being childish. I'm not going home because I don't feel at home there anymore. He told me that he couldn't handle being around me, that Gotham needed Batman, but do you know what he didn't say? The one thing that would've let me accept it all. He never once said he needed me or loved me. He didn't even say he wanted better for me. This is all about him and his ego. I'm his ghost, his failure, his fuel.

You have no idea how that feels. Bruce respects you. I'm barely even a person to him right now. Why would I give up my humanity to be someone's pathetic little rescue?" I interrupted.

"He could make you come home if he wanted to... But he hasn't. Bruce is trying. He sucks at it, but he's doing the best he can. If you can't control your temper or face him right now, at least let him know where you are," Barbara replied.

"Yeah, okay... You were probably gonna tell him where I am anyway. I'll text him, but I'm not going home. I'm staying put," I replied. Barbara didn't get it, but I couldn't fault her for it. I texted Bruce as I promised her, and I spit up in the sink.

"Jason? Are you alright?" Tim asked through the bathroom door.

"Yeah! I'm fine," I answered. The truth. I was only queasy from my migraine. I washed up and dried my hair before returning to Tim's room. He sat next to me on his bed, working on something on his computer, and the gentle click-clacking of his fingers on the keyboard lulled me to sleep.

[cloudykaii]

i care

pairing: huening kai x txt 6th!reader

summary: in which the two of you fight and you have to deal with the consequences of kai being right. he didn’t want to be right.

warnings: illness, cursing, angst

Soobin liked to think that he had a pretty good connection with all his members. He knew what they liked, where they struggled, and what they excelled in; both from the perspective of a professional leader and from that of a brother and friend. But as well as he knew everyone, he was never prepared for a fight. Sure, when the fight was over something silly then sure, he knew how to handle it. Say you're sorry, buy them the snack you ate all of and the problem was solved. This time, it was a little harder.

You and Kai were close, and you trusted him with most of your secrets, just like he did you. With that being said, everything shared of that nature between you two was supposed to be said in a matter of full confidence and empty judgement. So, when Kai got frustrated at you and snapped, using the one insecurity you had told him in secret against you, it was hard to forgive him. But it had been days of silence and it was strange. Normally the house was filled with the noises of everyone together, but with you not here and Kai a distraught mess in his room, it was hard to pull everyone back into good spirits.

"I haven't heard from her in a while.." Taehyun muttered. He chewed his lower lip anxiously as he bounced his knee, staring down at his phone where it was face up on the coffee table so everyone could see. Beomgyu ran a hand over his face. "Do we even know where she went?"

Yeonjun shook his head. "Kai would probably know, but he's practically been nonverbal since the fight." You were on girl living with five guys, there had been all kinds of arguments before; ranging from what the best ice cream was to people actually debating leaving the group, but this was different. The two of you had been screaming at each other, voices so full of emotion that the others had to hear but couldn't fully make out what was getting said until Kai snapped and delivered the final blow. Maybe I've just been pretending to care. The next thing they heard was a full minute of dead silence, and then the slamming of the front door. It was Wednesday. That meant it had been three days since they had last seen you, two days since they had last heard from you, and about twenty-eight hours since all of their messages and calls stopped going through.

"Maybe we should call the police," Taehyun suggested, but Soobin shook his head. "We can't. The press will get involved and then half the country will be looking for Y/N."

"Isn't that a good thing? More people looking means finding her faster," Soobin shook his head yet again at him. "It means that a sasaeng or some other crazy person could find her first, and we'd have no way of knowing. It would do more harm than good."

Beomgyu rolled his eyes and moved to stand up. "I guess the only thing left to do is knock some sense into Kai and get him to tell us where she went. This is all his fault anyway," he glared in the direction of the younger's room and Yeonjun grabbed his shirt to yank back down beside him. "That's not going to solve anything. They need to work this out, forget about the fight and why she's gone and look for where she went."

"How long has she been gone?" a hoarse voice asked, and they turned to see Kai standing in the doorway. He was pale and distressed. He looked like he had been crying the entire time.

"Since the argument."

"And how long as she been missing?"

"Almost two days."

He seemed to pale more if that was possible before he rushed around, throwing on a jacket and his shoes. He almost broke into a dead sprint for the door, but Soobin grabbed his arm. "You have to talk to us, not just run out blindly. Even if you know where she is, if something happens, we can't handle the both of you being missing."

Kai breathed heavily, wanting to handle this on his own. He knew what he did was wrong, and even if he was frustrated with you when he said it, it didn't make it right. But looking at the five of them now and watching as they all paid attention to him, realizing that they were just as worried about him as they were you; it made him want to cry. "She's at the dance studio. That private one at JYP? Minho and she are friends and he lets her in when she needs a break."

Soobin grabbed the keys and opened the door. "Come on, we can talk in the car."

Kai's assumption was right, which nobody had doubted. Everyone knew that the younger members of the group were the closest. Worried out of his mind, Kai made them stay in the car as he raced inside, which was a struggle in itself since he had to explain what he was doing there and hope like hell they let him in, but they did. He ran up and down the building practically trying to find the right room. When he opened the last one on the third floor, he was starting to second guess himself- until he noticed your crumpled form in the middle of the room.

"Y/N!" He raced over, falling to his knees beside you. You were so pale, and your skin was hot to the touch, but you were shivering like you were absolutely freezing. All the movement jarred you, but opening your eyes took too much effort. "K-Kai?"

He almost let out a sob at the sound of your voice. It was hoarse and weak, but it was there. He ripped off his jacket so that he could wrap it around you. "I'm sorry," you tried but Kai hushed you. "No, it's okay. I was an asshole, and I shouldn't have said that, but I just wanted you to take care of yourself. This is what I was trying to avoid, honey."

It was hard to comprehend him when you felt so terrible, but you remembered the argument enough to know what he meant. You were trying to convince him to come to the studio with you, feeling like you needed extra practice for the upcoming performance scheduled for the next week. Kai had said no and told you that he didn't think you should go either. You had argued saying that extra practice never hurt, and he pointed out that you hadn't felt good for over a week now, and you had formed a cough that was progressively getting worse.

"It's not safe. You could overwork yourself and end up out of commission or something. Just take the rest of the day to rest at least."

"But Kai! I'm not good enough yet. I need to get this one move right and then I can rest."

"Y/N," he had sighed. "No. Your moves are fine, and it won't matter how much practice you have put in when you're passed out somewhere! I care about your health, and you're always yelling at us about not overworking. Can't you take your own advice?"

"You're the one always telling me to work as hard as you can and that you believe in me! Why are you acting as if you don't care about how well I do now?"

“Maybe I've just been pretending to care.”

It shouldn't have carried for as long as it did, and you both should have been able to get it, but you failed. Everyone else got it. The six of you hadn’t been home or had even a portion of the day where gov weren't working for almost two weeks, everyone was on edge. And they could understand that being a little sick had made you feel like you weren’t giving your best and you were a little blinded by the need to work harder to realize that you needed to be listening to your body. But now it was almost too late.

"'m so sorry," you cried, rasping out the words as he cradled you to his chest to stand up. "Please forgive me."

Kai only kissed your head. "I do." Of course, he forgave you, but honestly that was the very least of his concerns. He needed to get you to a doctor. "Now be quiet. I'm here, and everything is going to be okay. I promise, just rest." He spoke gently, keeping you against his chest just in case there was someone trying to see you, rushing out to the car. "We're okay," he whispered to you. "You and I against the world, remember? One little fight won't change that," he promised, talking to try to keep you lucid enough to be able to talk to the doctor. "You and I against the world."

[strangersteddierthings]

Some random numbers: 3, 10 & 29 (for the fanfic writer ask lol)

Ahh! Thanks for sending an ask! :D

3. What's your favorite fic that you've written? My personal favorite is The One Where Steve Plays D&D. I love the Stobin banter in it and I want Steve to love D&D because I love D&D.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? My first fic, Bad News First, Eddie. It was just something I wrote on my lunch break at work in less than an hour. And then the Steddie tag just took it and RAN. I cried about it to my bestie it was so overwhelming.

29. Share a bit from a fic you'll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. Here's everything I wrote for the original draft I had for the Steve has good parents and goes to therapy fic before scrapping it and redoing it from Steve's POV:

Robin worries about Steve. She's not sure there is anything Steve could tell her to make her not worry other than 'I don't need to talk about anything because I already do that weekly with my therapist' and that's not going to happen.

Hell, they all need therapy, but Max was, like, actively going to see the school's councilor and she still ended up cursed and almost dead because of her trauma (Robin tries not to think about the others who were also seeing Ms Kelley and got cursed). And sure, you could argue that Max was not actually forthcoming with her issues and therefore couldn't work on resolving them, but that's a po-tay-to, po-tah-to kinda problem, really.

So yes, Robin's sure they all need therapy, but she's mostly focused on Steve right now because he's become their therapist. He's the one everyone talks to about what they're feeling or not feeling, the one who always picks up the phone, answers the walkie talkie when someone doesn't want to be alone. He's fixed up the other rooms in his big empty house with guest beds so they can all have their nightmares loudly away from their parents.

And it's not that they've all left Steve to fend for himself in this. Robin asks him all the time if he's okay, how he's doing, does he want to talk? But Steve doesn't. He's always ok. He's always doin' 'just fine' or 'as well as he can be, all things considered'. He- well, he does talk. But not nearly as much as he should be. Just a confirmation that he understands what they're dealing with because he is, too.

Except, as far as Robin can tell, he's not dealing with any of it, at all.

She says as much to Nancy one night. It's mid-summer, and the Pool Party Slash BBQ Turned Slumber Party is winding down. Nancy and Robin are in the house, sitting on a couch that looks out the back windows, watching as Steve tries to hurl Dustin into the pool, but he's an octopus clinging to Steve's arm, and Steve reaches out to latch onto Eddie for support, and all three end of splashing into the pool.

"Steve's real good at just... being okay after Upside Down bullshit happens, isn't he?" Robin asks, going to conversational.

"Yeah," Nancy says, shifting on her cushion to pull one leg underneath her as she turns her body more towards Robin, "I was honestly surprised how quickly he's bounced back after the second time. We were all a little fucked up from it -we'd never imagine a world where it could happen once, much less twice- but Steve seemed to recover quicker. Didn't even seem changed from what happened. Just... back to school as usual."

"What was it like the first time?"

"Surreal. I think we were all able to fake it enough at school because it still didn't seem real. Monsters? Real monsters in Hawkins? We had no choice but to fake it until it seemed less real. Who would have believed us? Plus, Steve and I were still together then. We had each other to break apart with."

Robin nods, looking from Nancy to back out the window, "Steve was so normal after Starcourt that I thought I was just weak."

Nancy let's out a surprised 'Oh' at that confession, but stays silent as Robin continues.

"He was ready to start job hunting together again. Wanted us to get a job together. I had a breakdown about it, in the upstairs bathroom. Steve sat on the floor and hugged me through it as I cried about how weak I must seem to him. He told me I wasn't weak, that what I was feeling was completely normal. Rational," she laughs at the memory, "he sounded like an actual therapist. Wanted me to talk through what I was feeling. Also asked me what I wanted to be feeling, and things I thought would help me feel that way."

Nancy doesn't look as surprised as Robin thought she might. But also, Nancy's probably had the same kind of talk with Steve. Where he listens, and will share in the emotions, but won't open up about his own deep feelings, thoughts, or fears. "Steve's always been tough."

"Sure, but he doesn't have to be with us," Robin argues, "it's not going to be good for him in the long run to never talk about it. How's it's effecting him, you know?"

"We can't make him talk about it," Nancy says.

"Well, we can try," Robin says, "we could... could bully him gently into talking! If we just get everyone to ask him, repeatedly, maybe he'll finally break and talk!"

[lydiaas]

Somehow I completely missed that season 3 of Outer Banks was releasing at 3am est on 2/24 Friday and not Saturday. But either way, I was planning to binge it on the weekend cause I had to work Friday night from 7pm-7:30am (I work the night shift as a nurse). But also, I just rented my first apartment and needed to do some rug shopping and other stuff badly so I could finally start to actually live there so after work, I showered and had breakfast and ran errands. I didn’t end up sleeping until around 3pm and then woke up around 6:30pm, had dinner and then finally started watching around 9:30pm. I was planning to spread it out over Saturday-Monday night cause I didn’t have to work again until Tuesday night but next thing I know it’s ~8am and I’ve finished the whole damn thing. I spent the rest of the weekend soaking everything up on Tumblr and reading/watching interviews. I have to go back to work tonight (Tuesday 2/28) and I don’t want to leave my little OBX bubble! Isn’t it crazy to wait 20months for something and then have it be over in 10hours? I so wish Netflix would start to do weekly releases but I know they’d never do that.

First of all, congratulations on renting your first apartment!

I admire that you even planned to pace yourself because I couldn't even do that, I just surrendered to my inevitable fate of being awake for 22 hours straight lol.

Thank you for sharing this. The experience of a show coming out (and ship going canon) that we've waited so long for and the absolute craziness that comes before and after that is something so truly special and exhilarating. And then of course there is the slump when you realise you now have to wait another year+ for anything new but, man, what a fun ride it is while it lasts. It has been such a relief to know we have S4 in the works already so we can relax without worrying about renewal. Hopefully the wait is shorter this time around. I will say the jiara fandom can feel pretty small in the off season (relative to the scale of OBXs popularity) but we are very productive and basically never cease talking about/creating for the show so we have that to look forward to in the time between seasons.

I would love to see streamers doing more weekly releases and slightly longer seasons (imagine the good Pogue content we'd get if they had more episodes and could fit in some breathing room). I think it would have been torturous with a show like OBX but also maybe I would have actually absorbed the plot better because at this point I'm still in jiara brain rot where I couldn't tell you one thing about el dorado.

[desmondkane-of-ao3-fame]

If your still doing the ask game, Lilith?

I absolutely LOVE Lilith's ridiculous and petty nature in season 1. It's hilarious, honestly, to see Lilith try so desperately to beat Eda, and to see it be out of a combination of a desire to help lift her sisters curse, and also because Lilith's a loser who wants to beat her sister so badly.

Speaking of, if I'm being honest, I go against a lot of people when I say I don't think Lilith needed a big redemption arc. Most of her presentation throughout the first season is her being the Owl House's Team Rocket: antagonistic, but more of a fun nuisance then anything else. It isn't until 'Agony' that Lilith does anything truly evil, that being kidnapping Luz and revealing that she was the one who cursed Eda. And while both of those are evil, I think that 'Young Blood' at least serves as a solid way of giving Lilith a redemption: She recognizes her mistake near immediately, tries to do right and make ammends, is called out and distrusted by people who have every right to hate her until given evidence she's changed, and even takes on half the curse herself, knowing the consequences, to save Eda. While Eda would be in the complete right to hate Lilith, and I do wish the show had explored a bit of resentment at the very least, I think the show was good at giving her a single episode redemption arc.

Fun fact: pre-reveal of Lilith's asexuality, I headcannoned Lilith as a secret superfan of romance novels, and had a massive crush on Odalia at one point. You can read that in one of my early works, The Wrong Blight. However, that headcannon's been kinda scrapped, so...

Lilith would always spend her one day off every year sleeping. Just sleeping. She would be so tired from everything else that she would spend her one day to recharge from the years events. It's rumored that on Scout accidentally woke her by mistake, though, and was never heard from again (Lilith just told him to never talk to her again and the scout just quit and ran off crying).

There's a few different options for my favorite character for Lilith to interact with: Eda, Hooty, King in A-Fear-Ances because them bonding over 'ice cream' and their parental issues was funny as hell. But honestly, my favorite interactions have to be with Luz, actually. In season 2 especially, they have this fun chemistry, and Lilith becoming the aunt who tries too hard to be cool is so ridiculous it's hilarious. "Boogey down to history town" indeed.

Eda's a super clos second, followed by the horrifying abomination of a friendship that is her and Hootcifer.

Honestly, the character I wanted to see Lilith interact with the most out of the whole show was Raine. How does Raine feel about their future sister-in-law? Were they friendly as kids? We get minor evidence they weren't but why? My one problem with 'Them's the Breaks, Kid' is how it sidelines Lilith: we never get to see what she and Raine's relationship was like, and it's a huge shame.

Second place goes to Amity (remember when she was actually Amity's mentor? Remember how that was a thing that was immediatly dropped after 'Covention'?) and Belos (we honestly only get 'Agony' for any real interactions. I wish we'd seen a little more of them together).

Lilith actually knows Matt: they met on a 'Take Your Sibling to Work' day event with Steve. She hated him at first sight and made a mental note to fight tooth and claw to never allow Matt into the EC.

[periru3]

So today I went into work and was like I am in the midst of a depressive episode. I am working with two new hires I haven't worked with before. I twisted my bad ankle the other day and it's been killing me for like a week now. It is an unseasonably warm Friday night (I serve ice cream) and there seems to be a festival happening outside our door that nobody warned me about. It will be a miracle if I make it through all 8 hours of my shift without being a raging bitch to anyone.

And you know what? I think I was doing okay. Being depressed doesn't really impact how good I am with customers like 96% of the time, so it being stupidly busy kind of helped actually. It meant there wasn't downtime where I would have to make small talk with my new co-workers as though I could think of anything other than lying down on the floor and giving up. So everything was fine.

Until 10:57 when this woman comes in and is SO cranky because we don't have dipped waffle bowls, a thing we have never carried at this location, and I'm like we have dipped cones, so she gets one of those, and she gets a large and then after I've scooped the large into the cone she's like "and I want hot caramel and peanut butter sauce" so I have to tell her we just ran out of peanut butter sauce and she is NOT HAPPY and I'm like ma'am it's been a long day and we close in 1 minute some things have run out that I haven't had a second to deal with I'm sorry but also take a chill pill. So I go to put the hot caramel on and am really stupid in this moment because I KNOW there is no way to put hot caramel on a large ice cream in a dipped waffle. There's nowhere for the caramel to go. But at this point I've already pissed her off so much I just can't bear to say no to one more request. which is stupid cause it's not like she's going to be any happier with a handful of hot caramel. But I try to put it on the ice cream and after I do she's like "and walnuts" and I'm like "I'm so sorry, do you mind if I put this in a cup with the cone on top, all these toppings are going to fall off" and she is UNHAPPY and I get why, it was stupid of me to even try to put the caramel on, but I'm clearly doing my best to fix it, and in the amount of time she spends being cranky about my idiocy, it's far too late and I am just covered all the way down my forearm with hot caramel. it's a disaster. anyway I got it into a cup and managed to squeeze some walnuts in there and it was a mess and I didn't charge for the toppings because I felt bad that every aspect of this transaction was clearly such a major disappointment for her and I JUST wanted to end this nightmare interaction on a positive note. But then as I'm ringing her up she says to her husband "I'm surprised Carl isn't here."

And then, my friends, Carl got there.

It is at this point 2 minutes past closing time, but I hadn't been able to lock the door. And I truly am like what harm is one more customer and also I'm unwilling to kick this angry woman's friend out and incur further wrath.

But Carl is one of those guys. You know, the guys who are like "I'm going to refuse to have a normal customer interaction with you. Everything I say will be jokes. We are best friends. Why don't you think I'm funny. Humor me or I will never order my fucking ice cream. Maybe I'll say something self-aware about how much you clearly hate how hard I'm making this, but it's a joke and I have no intentions of stopping being this way." He wasn't even the first one of those guys we'd had tonight. There was a guy like that a half hour earlier who I wasn't helping. But that guy at least also ordered his ice cream like a normal person after not too much hassle, even if he kept joking the whole time.

CARL ON THE OTHER HAND comes in and is like "SO! Whatcha got?" and I'm like "ice cream! :)" and he's like "I know that. It's an ice cream store. Whatcha got?" and I'm like "... ice cream. our menu is right here." and he just generally continues to be a lot and is so loud and is making jokes and is NOT. MAKING. ANY. PROGRESS. TOWARDS. ORDERING. and eventually he's like "WHATCHA GOT?" And I at this point am losing it and am like "ICE. CREAM. WE HAVE SMALL AND LARGE" and then this guy looks me up and down and is like "I can see that."

FLAMES. FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE.

But I stay chill. I'm like "what can I get for you?" (for the third or fourth time at this point). And he gives some stupid joke of a non-answer. And at some point starts also addressing my co-worker, who also just wants to go home. And at some point he asks her what we have and she's also like "Ice cream" and he is like "I know you have ice cream" and I'm like WHEN DOES THIS ENDLESS CONVERSATIONAL LOOP END and my co-worker is like "we have small and large" and he is like "I told her I can see that! Small" *points at my skinny co-worker* "and large" *points to me*

After that point it's all a blur of rage. I know he said something about liking large. I know he referred to himself as extra large. I know he said some other stuff that was all jokey and ice cream metaphory and hard to track whether it was actually gross or just stupid. My co-workers at no point caught onto the fact that he was talking about our weight, which is WILD to me because it was NOT subtle. Anyway somehow we eventually got him to order and he left and at that point five more people had come in because people kept managing to get in before I could get the damn door locked. So I helped four more people while seething with rage and then voiced how mad I was to my co-workers as soon as I got the door locked and they were both like "OH that's what he was saying. I could not make sense of any of it" and I'm like "he pointed to you and said small and then to me and said large. It was extremely explicit"

Anyway I just really need to practice saying out loud "I don't serve ice cream to people who think it's ever appropriate to comment on a stranger's body"

[longsideotdongside]

I'm up too late and full of so much anger. I can't get the thought of my own bright eyed ghost out of my head. Let me tell you a story.

I remember when I first got to college, I was in love in a way I have sealed myself off from since then. I remember lying next to her, looking up into the night sky into a sea of stars. I told her she had a beautiful soul, and later that night, I told her that I loved her. We would walk around campus just for the joy of being seen together. We painted our shoes together, pierced our ears together. I danced with her in a dorm room with all the blinds closed, because we'd be dead if they found us with COVID in the air. That was a happy summer.

I remember when the weather started to turn colder. The night came that I didn't want to have sex. She felt undesired, I understand. She got sad. Mean sad. The next time I didn't want to, I did anyway. That happened a couple more times until I spoke with her about it. I told her that it made me uncomfortable that she would say things like "You're not attracted to me anymore" when I would say no. She told me I was making her feel horrible, and didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

I remember Halloween night. We had a friend AJ. We all took mushrooms together. All day, the three of us were running away from something I couldn't see. Every word that came out of my mouth felt like a lie, and when I would look at their faces, they would contort into the most hideous shapes. The mushrooms were trying to tell me something, but I couldn't hear. I had watched the two of them flirt all night. That night, we got caught in her room, and I took the fall for it.

I remember the night she slept with him, AJ. I had gone home for one night. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I wanted it. I remember pressing both of them for hours, asking what had happened in my room that night. I remember how angry they both got. I didn't care. They were liars. I broke up with her the next day. I wish it was forever.

And then the semester was over.

I remember us talking over winter break, us getting back together. She fucked him again. When she told me that, I got up from my bed and tried to drive off. She climbed into my car before I could get out of the driveway. I crashed into the guardrail of the bridge, and she screamed, and told me she was scared. I turned back. She tried to drive off, but I called her and told her I loved her, and begged her to come back. And since then, I only got what I deserved.

It never was the way it was when we first fell in love. When I once wanted every pair of eyes in the world to see her and I together, now I just wanted to hide. I stopped getting out of bed. I stopped opening the blinds. I drank more. I stayed up all night, trying to make sense of the nature of God, Love, Death, anything but come to terms with the fact that this love of mine was doomed. Everything I knew, I wrote down in my journal. I still forced myself to have sex. I wanted to like it. I wrote that down too. I wrote down, "Sometimes I don't want to be touched, BAD DOG. I want to be a good dog. I want to be domesticated."

I deserved it. I had it coming. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault.

The night we broke up, for the last time. I woke up at 1am, still drunk. There was a half eaten pizza on my desk. My journal was open. Written in it was a note, but I don't remember what it said. It boiled down to "I went through your shit, I'm breaking up with you." And from here on out, this story is just plain old fucking funny. I ran to her dorm room across campus, and ran into her walking with a friend. I took her back to my room. She told me she had gone through my phone and journal, and read everything I said about her when we were broken up. Everything I had said about how I wanted to be dead. Everything my friends had confided in me, everything I had said about how afraid I was. Every shitty cringey 4chan meme I had saved. every bad joke I ever told my buddy. Everything I kept in my phone and in that book because I never wanted another pair of eyes to see it. That's why she was done with me, this time.

I yelled at her. I told her she had invaded my privacy. She told me I could go through her phone. I told her I didn't want to, but she practically insisted. The first guy who's name I opened on Snapchat, she had been sexting. I watched her heart sink and fill with guilt. I honestly, honestly just laughed. "You really didn't have to show me that." I said. I told her to leave, for the last time.

And now here I am, 1600 miles away from home, trying to make sense of why I'm so afraid of the world now. No More. I refuse to be afraid any longer. I will serve myself now. I am a low creature, and I deserve to be put down like a rabid dog. I don't care what kind of monster emerges from me anymore. I am good. I am good.

[fbrefugeechannel]

stop trying to dance with me shepherd. taking this square dance bullshit too far. you'd understand and quit being a fuckup to your own system if you'd stop trying to do trick shots asshole.

but you don't understand stop. you only understand scripturally based bullshit first. you hear everything. nothing gets by you. but you don't respect shit. not anyone or anything, unless your bullshit religion is edified first. then you cooperate, or decide to respect any human, or the law.

i'm only holding you to the standard you raised me by. i'm not allowed to do that, so why should you. i was never taught to tolerate some invisible imaginary being playing boogeyman acting like a parent that abuses power, acting like the law doesn't apply to you.

if the law doesn't apply to you,

MY boundaries. MY life. MY legal rights.MY privacy.

why do you bother teaching them if you're going to then disregard them and expect people to tolerate an insufferable tyrant on a powertrip.

pretty sure you're the reason the United States exists, and why we left England and the British behind. we'd rather live our lives without you trying to govern us. so we left. peacefully.

when you saw how good we had it. you decided you wanted what we have and tried to claim it under your rule and authority.

so the war of independence began. and we had to start killing you to keep the British out.

11:30 is in a fucking hour premature jerkoff.

the law doesn't apply to you? my boundaries don't apply to you, no matter what the law and government defines as illegal for you to disrespect?

then you don't get in to play shepherd, manipulator, or supervisor. i don't have to put blind faith or trust in you, you could be a murderer behind the mask you wear.

you HAD a working system that ran smoothly, where the timing wasn't absolute dogshit.

why did you need to fuck with it? picking at everything like a scab. was constantly changing shit around without notice every week, supposed to reappoint who holds the power and control over everything?

what about when you work as an auto tech, and you have an inventory of 100,000 tools. is it cool if i just rearrange the other technician's tools or stockroom and parts inventory, just because i got bored with the routine placement, every week?

why are you like this?, non binary, autistic fuckwit.

or are you trying to make things confusing for "spies", or immigrants? or are you just being a pain in the ass to the stoners, like it's some test, trying to keep people on their toes at any minute you decide to rearrange the stereo channels in MY car.

not yours.

funny how you have no problems with your queer culture. and that is spoken about and not favored well in your religious texts..

i think you're trying to steal shit amidst the instability and chaos. like shoplifters.

6 calls in the past hour from the same person.

are you trying to make me angry? or is some asshole mad that he has a urinary tract problem?

return call. automated system that you can't leave a message on. they are out to lunch so call back after 1pm. nice DEMONstration of how a system doesn't work.

is that what you wanted? an in depth look at america, so australians can talk more shit about our country? or asians. china, japan, korea....or middle easterners. dubai, saudi arabia, iran, palestine...

6 calls from the same person in one hour.

if you had an appointment with me and you arrived an hour before scheduled. what sort of things do you think i might be doing? showering? shaving? trying to get ready without some child screaming at you to drop everything, right now.....while you are getting ready. how long do you usually need to cool off before facing somebody to be nice to them instead of agitating them and provoking them until they are seeing red? why do you do that? so you can get a "reading" on my disposition? to measure to see how agitated i am? to improve the quality of our appointment or visit when we interact? that's bullshit and you know it. how many no shows or cancellations do you get?

what were they supposed to be doing? what was this appointment for? what is it about now?

why do you act like your highest priority is these bullshit sessions?(pronounced martian) .. as if wayne's world or the mcniel lehrer hour is all you care about? i'm not here for your voyeuristic bullshit fly-on-the-wall needs. i'm not making a drama club presentation. i don't talk to people with your foreign language class dialogs in mind so some asshole can sit in and observe acting like, "just pretend i'm not here...."

unless i'm ignoring you right?

maybe i'm antisocial, maybe i don't want to talk to people or socialize. not my fault you can't comprehend an introvert as being perfectly normal, happy, and content being alone just because you can't fathom it.

what the hell is it to you?

what if they made you write every time you pushed me to words. word for a word. if i have to write a thousand words, so do you.

you don't respect. you're livestock, you're a beast. you don't respect anything that doesn't make you fear. you don't respect anything that doesn't hurt you. if you thought you might die, or your shit disturbing and mischeif can be traced back to you as the origin, that you could be killed for intentionally provoking them, would you test other people's patience so much?

[helloalycia]

right person, wrong time [one] // natasha romanoff

summary: you're supposed to welcome S.H.I.E.L.D.'s newest recruit, Natasha Romanoff, but nobody knows anything about her and everyone is most definitely scared of her, including you.

warning/s: mentions of shooting, guns and fighting.

author's note: i totally fell in love with natasha in iron man 2 as a 10 year old and tried to convince myself i didn't fancy a woman bc being gay wasn't 'good' but she was too pretty to resist and look at me now! over a decade later, i've finally written a natasha imagine! it's a four-parter and full of angst/pining/slow burn, so be prepared.

also, in this, infinity war/endgame didn't happen, and they don't really mention natasha's storyline pre-iron man 2 in S.H.I.E.L.D. (which is where this starts) so i made some of it up oops

finally, the below gif is where i fell in love w her for the first time okay bye enjoy

two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

"Do you think she'll be nice?" my colleague, Jacob, asked curiously.

I shrugged, swinging my legs as I sat on the edge of the kitchen counter. "Probably. Does Barton seem like the type to recruit mean people?"

"Apparently she's an assassin," Jacob deadpanned. "Why would he recruit someone like that?"

I quirked a brow. "Keyword being apparently. We don't know anything about her, mate. She could be a straight up serial killer."

He narrowed his eyes at me when he realised what I said, and I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. I was kidding of course, to an extent. We knew nothing about Natasha Romanoff, the newly-hired agent that Agent Barton had recruited off his recent mission. Romanoff was supposed to be his target, but he'd offered her a job instead and that was all Jacob and I knew.

Rumours were flying around S.H.I.E.L.D. about who she was, why she was so important and why she was worth recruiting when she'd apparently been a priority target. Though, her skills included but weren't limited to espionage, tactical fighting and martial arts, so it was obvious why she was recruited.

Jacob and I had been called in because she needed a team to work with whilst she got used to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s way of working, and we'd worked with Barton before so he recommended us. He was showing her the ropes, her official partner, but they would be working with us for a while until she knew how we did things. So, Jacob and I were waiting in the Compound kitchen for Barton to officially introduce us all.

"Okay, ssshhh, ssshhh, I see them coming," he said, waving his hand at me as he looked through the window in the door.

"You're literally the one talking, but okay," I pointed out, but fell quiet when he ran to stand beside me as the door handle jiggled.

When Barton entered the room with Romanoff on his tail, I jumped off the counter and straightened up, offering a friendly smile as they approached us. Barton was never smiley in the first place, and he looked between us both with a respectful nod. The redhead behind him on the other hand, I knew nothing about, but she didn't seem like the smiliest of bunches either.

Her dark green eyes were focused ahead, subtly studying Jacob and I as if analysing everything about us. So, naturally, I did the same. She had a stoic expression, giving nothing away with how she was feeling, and her features were all sharp and bold, especially her red-painted lips to match her red hair. I could see why everyone was intimidated by her, and the possibility of her being an assassin wasn't so far fetched now that I'd seen her.

"Y/L/N, Thompson, this is Agent Romanoff, our newest recruit and teammate," Barton introduced her. "Romanoff, this is your new team. Agent Y/L/N and Agent Thompson. Some of the best agents we have."

"Great to meet you, Romanoff," I said, putting out my hand for her to shake. "And welcome to the team."

She shook my hand, a strong handshake, but still, her expression revealed nothing. "Thank you, Agent."

After Jacob introduced himself, albeit a little more nervously than me, I tried to lighten the mood which didn't seem to work for Romanoff.

"Thompson and I are kind of like the man in the van, or woman in the van," I explained lightheartedly. "If you need someone to be your eyes and ears, then we're your people."

Barton cracked a small smile at my attempt to be polite, but Romanoff didn't look the slightest bit amused and wasn't sure what to say.

"Anyway...," Jacob said awkwardly, changing the subject. "We look forward to working with you, Agent Romanoff. If you have any questions or need help settling in, we're here."

"Yeah, right," I agreed, nodding. "We're here if you need it."

"Thank you...," Romanoff answered slowly, squinting as she looked between us.

Clearing his throat, Barton motioned over his shoulder. "Okay, I'll show you around the rest of Compound, Natasha."

Hm, Natasha Romanoff. So that was her name.

"Thanks, guys," Barton said to us both, before walking away.

Romanoff glanced between us once more, and when her eyes crossed mine, I felt a shiver go down my spine at the intense eye contact. Apparent assassin or not, I wasn't sure, but her looks could definitely could kill. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to and I think she knew that, because she pursed her lips and then turned around and followed after Barton. When they were gone, I let out a small breath and looked to Jacob.

"Well, she seems... nice," Jacob commented. "Not one for speaking, is she?"

"Maybe she's shy," I suggested, but we both knew that wasn't the case. Maybe with time, she'd open up.

————————

The new girl, as everyone had dubbed her, had been here for about a week and she was all anybody could talk about. Rumours were flying faster than they ever had as everybody had a good look at her, and if it wasn't made-up stories about where she'd come from, it was endless compliments about how 'hot' and 'sexy' she was.

Jacob and I tried to stay out of all of it, not one for gossiping ourselves, but there were many times when other agents would try to get stuff out of us, as if we had an inside scoop. The truth was, we knew as little as everyone else did because we'd only seen Romanoff a few times around the place, and Barton hadn't shared much about her except for the fact that she was an ex-assassin (Jacob was pleased to be correct about that one...). She wasn't one for talking or socialising, so we rarely saw her.

One day, I was in one of the many training rooms in the Compound, lifting some weights whilst Jacob spotted me, and that's when we heard some other agents gossiping about Romanoff.

"I'm telling you, she's the hottest agent to walk in here in a long time," Zach, one of the (what I liked to call) frat-boys of the division, was saying to his friend. "And the whole mysterious act she's got going? Se-xy."

His friend, Jake, laughed and fist-bumped him in agreement as I rolled my eyes, finishing up with my weights before sitting up.

"Can you guys take your sexist comments elsewhere?" I asked them, feigning politeness.

Zach pouted as he looked down at me. "Aww, is Agent Y/L/N jealous of all the attention on the new girl? Don't worry. You're still fine, too."

I stood up, not even bothering to get angry because this was simply his personality and he could only get so far with it. "The only person you should be checking out is your girlfriend, idiot."

On cue, he received a slap to the back of the head and winced before looking to see his girlfriend, Clara, standing there with a pissed off expression.

"You and me are gonna have words," she snarled to him, and I didn't know her very well apart from the fact we'd been in the same class at the Academy, but I knew she wasn't one to mess with. Sucked to be Zach right now.

He apologised profusely, over and over, following her as she stormed off, and I tried very hard not to laugh as Jake followed after them both. Jacob rolled his eyes playfully and gave me a knowing look.

"Was that necessary?" he asked, quirking a brow.

I grinned. "Always."

As I grabbed my water bottle and took some long gulps, Jacob said, "Everyone's obsessed. I feel kind of bad for her. It's like we're back at the Academy all over again."

"Everyone fancies her," I corrected. "And they don't even know her. It's definitely weird."

"No wonder she doesn't hang out with us," he said with a shrug.

I capped my bottle and admitted, "She's a little scary though, don't you think?"

"Oh, definitely," he agreed without thinking, making me smile with amusement because I knew it wasn't just me. "She looks at you once and you think you're gonna get murdered."

"Well, we might wanna get over that because we're gonna have to start working with her," I reminded him, and just on cue, I spotted said girl walking into the training room with Barton, heading this way. "Okay, shut up, Jacob, she's here."

"Wasn't even talking...," he mumbled, but turned around and saw what I saw.

We both smiled awkwardly as Barton nodded to us and Romanoff stayed standing quietly by his side. All eyes were definitely on us, but nobody would dare do anything stupid around Barton for fear of disrespect.

"Hope you're both alright," Barton said. "I thought, since you're training, you'd be up for showing Nat the ropes."

I blinked. "Nat?"

He shook his head, correcting himself. "Sorry, my bad. Agent Romanoff. Maybe you could show her a thing or two?"

"Sure," Jacob said with a nod, before nudging me in the side. "Y/N here was just about to spar with me. Maybe you'd like to have a go, Romanoff?"

Romanoff raised her head and nodded. "Sure, lead the way."

I swallowed, nervous all of a sudden, before leading everyone to the mats spread out in the middle of the room. Thankfully nobody was using them, but I wasn't enjoying the attention that was on us.

"Are you staying to train, too, Barton?" I heard Jacob ask Barton from behind me.

"Maybe. I have some other things to do," he answered. "Just wanted to leave Romanoff in your capable hands before I go. She's trained with me before, but I thought it would be nice for you all to get to know each other more."

"Well, here we go," I said as I stopped in the middle of the mats, facing Romanoff. "Ready when you are."

I got into a fighting stance as she did, trying not to let her intimidating expression faze me. But God, green never looked so daring.

"Take it easy on her, Nat," Barton said to her knowingly, as if he knew something I didn't.

I shot him a look. "C'mon, Barton, have a little faith in me. I can handle whatever she throws at me. I didn't get this far for nothing."

He raised his hands in defeat, apologetically, before taking a step backwards with Jacob. I looked back to Romanoff and saw a hint of a smirk on her face, wondering what that meant. I wasn't the worst fighter in the world – I knew enough to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, obviously – but when I was in the field, I didn't see a lot of combat so, okay, I was a little rusty. Surely I could handle myself against someone new though, right?

I went in for the first punch, which she blocked with ease, making me throw another towards her stomach, but she sidestepped it without breaking a sweat. Going for the attack, I attempted to strike her at least once, but the only contact I made was when she'd block me. As I tried to trip her up, she cartwheeled over me, ended up behind me, and then I felt her shoe kick me from behind and onto the mat with a heavy thud.

A groan escaped me as a few people laughed, obviously watching to see what the new girl was capable of, and some others gasped with amazement. Meanwhile, I rolled over so I was facing the ceiling and breathed out heavily.

"I told you to go easy," Barton said to Romanoff, making her shrug and look down at me. 

"Looks like it was for nothing," I joked, referring to my previous comment; I was definitely impressed by her moves.

I heard snickers from Jacob and Barton as I sat up, giving them both a look and making them attempt to hide their amusement.

When I looked up to Romanoff, I swear I saw a small smile on her lips, too, which was the first time I'd ever seen her do anything but stare ahead stoically. I realised I quite liked her smile, and I especially liked when it was because of something I'd said.

"You did good," she attempted to make me feel better, holding out her hand.

I accepted it and let her pull me up, myself stretching and rubbing my stomach from where I'd hit the floor.

"Sounds condescending, but I'll take it," I said playfully. "You're actually good, though. That whole cartwheel flip thing? Was pretty sick."

"Thank you," she said with a respectful nod, strands of hair falling into her eyes when she did.

"Okay, guys, I think I'll leave you to it," Barton announced, clapping Jacob on the back before looking between us then to Romanoff. "Try not to hurt them too much, yeah?"

"No promises," she said with a serious tone, and because she didn't joke much, it took Jacob and I a moment to realise she was kidding. At least I hoped she was.

The three of us spent the next hour and a half sparring, with her teaching us some moves she knew and us in awe of how talented she was. Wherever she'd been before this had taught her well – perfectly, in fact. There wasn't a fault in any of her moves, she was super athletic and in shape, and she never made a mistake. I was beginning to think that S.H.I.E.L.D. had hit the jackpot with her recruitment. And she was definitely more than a pretty face.

Sparring was clearly something she enjoyed, so she loosened up around us which was nice to see. By the end of it, she'd smiled at least four times which was an accomplishment in my books. And I wasn't so scared of her anymore.

Well, not as much anyway.

————————

"That was the smoothest and quickest mission we've ever been on," Jacob said with a mixture of disbelief and amazement.

"Wonder why that is," I said, eyes glancing at Romanoff over my beer bottle.

She looked to me, shrugging slightly, before sipping her own bottle.

It was the night after we'd all completed our first mission together, and Jacob wasn't lying when he said it was the quickest. Seeing Romanoff in action, and not in training but actually in action, left Jacob and I amazed. Barton was probably used to it, having seen her skills before, but we were impressed. And so, we were celebrating at a bar nearby.

"That move you did? With the legs on the neck and the–" Jacob paused, using his hands to motion over his head, attempting to recreate what we'd all seen Romanoff do. "It was so cool!"

Romanoff smiled to herself, nodding. "Thanks."

"Looks like we made a great team," Barton said, glancing around at us all, before raising his drink in the air. "To many more future successful missions."

I smiled and lifted my bottle, clinking it alongside the others' drinks before taking a sip. We stayed chatting for a while, mainly Jacob regurgitating every second of the mission that left him in awe and Romanoff doing her best to accept the compliments. Then Barton got up to get himself another drink and Jacob trailed after him, challenging him to a game of darts. That left Romanoff and I alone, and I'd never really been alone with her before, so I wondered how things would go.

"Is he always that hyper after a mission?" she spoke first, and I was used to how she sounded by now, but I couldn't help but notice how particularly raspy her voice was tonight.

"I mean, can you blame him?" I asked, leaning back into my seat. She raised an eyebrow, as if wanting me to elaborate, and I smiled with amusement. "Romanoff, I saw you in the CCTV. We both did. You're pretty damn incredible."

"You can call me Natasha, you know," she said, eyes not leaving mine.

I noticed how she didn't acknowledge my compliment, but said nothing about it. "Well, Natasha, in that case, you can call me Y/N."

Again, her lips turned into the smallest of smiles, and she nodded slightly, before taking another sip of her beer.

"How did you end up in S.H.I.E.L.D., if you don't mind me asking?" she asked after a moment.

I leaned forward and played with the edge of the napkin on the table as I answered. "Well, I was recruited out of university back in England because of my advanced skill set in data analysis, communications and hacking. Graduated top of my class at S.H.I.E.L.D., and been an agent for a few years now."

"And Clint?" she asked curiously. "How do you know him?"

"Well, Barton and I have worked together a few times in the past, but he prefers to work alone," I explained, and she was hanging onto my every word. "He's private, but he's good at his job and I respect that. Everyone around here respects that."

She nodded, pursing her lips and drumming her fingers on her bottle. Thinking she had no more questions, I took a sip of my drink, trying to convince myself that I didn't care what she thought of me. But the goosebumps on my arm from the way she was studying me said otherwise.

"Aren't you gonna ask?" she said suddenly, making me lift my gaze to meet hers.

I was lost. "What? Ask what?"

She nodded her head slowly, like it was obvious. "How I ended up here?"

I got more comfortable in my seat; we were sat opposite each other in a booth, so I pulled my leg up and answered, "Well, you were Barton's target on one of his missions, but he let you go and recruited you instead, right?"

"Yeah, but don't you want to know more?"

I smiled with confusion, tilting my head slightly. "I mean, do you want to share more?"

A crease formed between her brows as she seemed confused. "I've heard everyone talk. The rumours."

Ah, the inescapable rumours that were still spreading about everyone's favourite redhead. So, she'd heard them, too. I couldn't imagine that doing her any good, even though she seemed like the type not to be fussed by what people thought of her.

"It's none of my business where you came from, unless you feel like you want to share it," I told her honestly. "And the rumours... I wouldn't pay much attention to them."

She fell quiet, eyes drifting to the table, and I took that as she didn't want to talk about where she'd come from. Admittedly, a small part of me wondered where she'd learnt to fight like she did, amongst other skills she had. But like I'd said, it was none of my business. And she was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent now, so nothing else really mattered because we were on the same team.

"Soooooo, you up for a game of pool?" I offered, downing the last of my drink.

She hummed, glancing out at the pool table in the centre of the bar, before nodding. "Sure."

Flashing her a smile, I led the way and she followed after me. It was safe to say that we enjoyed the rest of our evening, all of us did.

It was the aftermath of our first real teamwork and we were with high hopes for the rest of them. Truthfully speaking though, Jacob and I rarely saw Natasha around the Compund, not unless it was occasionally during training. But even then, she mainly trained with Barton personally, since she was basically his protege. Aside from the odd mission we'd have together, which were always successful, she was busy adjusting to being an agent.

All anybody could talk about now was how great of a duo Romanoff and Barton made, and especially how talented she was at her job – one of the best we had as of late. I could definitely see her climbing the S.H.I.E.L.D. ranks in no time; all of the successes were racking up. And I began to admire her for that, knowing it would be stupid not to see a talent when it was right in front of me.

I didn't really expect to ever feel anything more for her, but things changed after that.

Whenever she did spend time with Jacob and I, or sometimes just see me around and engage in little conversations with me in the hallway, I'd find myself realising how much I liked listening to her speak. Or how much I liked getting distracted with the flecks of gold in her green irises. Or how much I enjoyed the way her red hair kept falling into her eyes whenever she pushed it behind her ears.

It was stupid, I knew that, to develop a little crush on her. Especially when ninety-nine percent of the Compound probably fancied her, too. It wasn't hard to admit Natasha Romanoff was stunning. In fact, that was one of her assets and she knew it. But that wasn't why I was beginning to fall for her, and I knew that because I could have fallen for her as soon as we met. No, I think it was just one of those gradual things that happened.

One day we were good friends, sharing a joke about something, and the next I found myself noticing how warm my insides felt when she smiled my way. A sudden realisation, but the result of a gradual admiration.

I wasn't stupid enough to ever let it get away from me though. She was my colleague and that was unprofessional. Plus, she was way out of my league, definitely didn't feel the same and could have literally anyone in the world. I'd be the last person she'd think of like that.

And that was okay, because it was just a crush, and crushes went away.

————————

"You got into the cameras yet?" Jacob asked me, glancing over my shoulder to check my computer screen.

I shook my head, working as quickly as I could. "Almost. How are the trackers working? Comms?"

"Trackers are online and comms should be working right about... now." He paused, typing away on his laptop, before pressing his hand to his earpiece. "Barton, Romanoff, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," Barton responded.

"Same here," Natasha's voice came through also.

The four of us were on yet another mission, with Barton acting as a sniper up on the roof, having the perfect visual of an outdoor garden party for some of Barcelona's elitists. Jacob and I were in our van, providing backup and the eyes and ears of the operation, whilst Natasha was undercover at the party, hoping to charm her way through to the inside of the mansion and retrieve an object S.H.I.E.L.D. were after. I didn't know what it was for, since we weren't authorised to, but it was the on the brief so here we were.

"Got a visual on the inside of the building," I told everyone, as the cameras showed up on my monitors before Jacob and I. "A few outside, too."

I scanned the cameras before finding the one that Natasha was in and enlarging it on the screen, aiming to follow her as she moved. Jacob had a map of the place up on one of his screens, so between us, we could lead Natasha in and out, hopefully without raising suspicion. The idea was to avoid combat, but Barton had her back just in case.

"...you really going to make me call back my driver and find my invitation?" Natasha was saying with her doe-eyed expression and helpless girl voice that she used on missions to get what she wanted. "It's awfully embarrassing, especially with all of these guests waiting to get inside, too."

I chewed on my lip as I watched the camera, seeing her stood at the front of the queue to get into the party. The security guard was stopping her from entering upon seeing no invitation, and even though I offered to make a forged one, she assured us she could get in without one.

It was obvious that she meant flirting was the way to go, and honestly, if she was good at it, why not use it to her advantage? Especially tonight, when she looked like a million dollars. A gold halter neck dress adorned her body, emphasising every curve she had, and her red curls were left half up, framing her face and drawing attention to her matching red lip and bright green eyes. Truly a perfect sight, but that was the point.

"Ma'am, are you sure you don't have the invite on you?" the security guard asked hesitantly, clearly distracted by Natasha's beauty. I didn't blame him, to be honest.

She pretended to root through her purse before sighing dramatically and batting her eyelashes at him. "I'm afraid not. But you're free to pat me down if you need to."

His eyes widened, flustered at her comment, and the smirk on her lips was enough to render him speechless and make him step to the side.

"That's– that's not necessary, ma'am," he stuttered out. "Please, go on through."

She winked at him playfully before letting herself past the red ropes and into the garden party that was bustling with people.

"I don't think I'll ever understand how she does that," Barton joked in his earpiece.

Thinking mine was off, I groaned quietly and gave Jacob a sideways look. "Does every guy have to be so gullible?"

To my surprise, Natasha's quiet laugh was heard through the comms and she said, "Everyone's gullible if you flirt hard enough, Y/L/N. I can test it with you if you want."

Jacob snickered as my eyes widened with embarrassment.

Clearing my throat, I said, "That's not what I meant."

Barton snickered, too, and I decided to just stay quiet until I actually needed to speak.

Jacob and I spent the next ten minutes listening to Natasha talk to guests and flirt her way past some security guards whilst directing her to the right place. Admittedly, it made me a little jealous hearing her flirt with guys and them doing so back, even though I knew it was all fake and I had no right to be jealous. And seeing them check her out afterwards as she walked away... it was uncomfortable witnessing how everyone sexualised her, but that was what the whole mission was riding on, so I bit my tongue and endured it.

Eventually, she made her way inside and was able to drop the act as we got to work.

"Okay, where am I going?" she asked quietly, pausing in the hallway.

Jacob pulled up his map and I checked the cameras to make sure it was really clear.

"You're gonna go down the hall, make a left and a right, then you'll see some stairs," I instructed her. "Should be clear."

"Copy that," she said, before doing as I said.

Between us, Jacob and I led her to the correct office, where unfortunately there were two guards outside of, so she got to work in convincing them to let her in.

"My back is cramping in this position," Barton muttered, and we could all hear him readjusting.

Natasha cleared her throat loudly, mid-conversation, and Barton seemed to realise his comms was still on, mumbling an apology before remaining quiet.

Jacob and I sat back patiently, watching her convince the guards to let her in, and kept an eye on the other cameras meanwhile. And that's when we saw the security guards talking amongst themselves, beginning to get distracted around the party.

"Shit," Jacob muttered, pulling up the cameras to show us the security guards all beginning to leave their posts subtly, as if not wanting to alert the guests. "I think they know about us."

I straightened up and looked at the camera with Natasha on, before realising they were all heading her way.

"Natasha, you've gotta get out of there," I said into the mic quickly. "Your cover is blown." She didn't reply, and I exchanged worried glances with Jacob before trying again. "Natasha?" Still not answering, I tried Barton. "Barton, have you got a visual?"

"Clint, can you hear us?!" Jacob tried to get his attention whilst checking his computer to see why comms wasn't working. "Y/N, someone has cut our comms. I'm not sure how–"

He was cut off when the doors to the back of our van were thrown back harshly, revealing two armed guards. Upon spotting us, Jacob and I sprung into action, avoiding their attempts at shooting us but sadly watching some some of our equipment get the brunt of it. We dodged their punches before disarming them and knocking them out. Jacob scrambled to get back to the equipment and saw that half of it wasn't working anymore.

"She's gonna be ambushed. You've gotta–"

"I'll go and get her out of there," I said breathlessly, reading Jacob's mind, before grabbing my pistol and legging it to the mansion.

Hoping Jacob was attempting to get back in touch with Barton and preparing everything for a quick getaway, I easily made my way into the mansion and found myself at the bottom of the staircase. That's when I saw a group of guards down the hall heading this way, and when they realised I wasn't supposed to be here, they raised their guns to shoot. I cursed as I ran up the stairs, hoping to beat them to Natasha.

The mansion was huge, with all the hallways resembling one another and the rooms blurring together into one. If I hadn't memorised the layout before the mission began, I would've been screwed. Thankfully, it was big enough to lose my pursuers and find my way to Natasha.

"Jacob? Clint? Can you hear me?" I asked as I ran down the halls, hoping Jacob had gotten comms working, but there was still no response. "Fuck."

Finally reaching the room Natasha was in, I realised the security guards were no longer outside and scrunched my nose, knowing that couldn't be good. Sneaking to the door with my gun in hand, I sucked up a breath before kicking it open and aiming ahead. There, I saw both guards facing Natasha, who looked to be talking to them with that familiar helpless girl smile. As soon as they all saw me, the guards began to grab their guns, but Natasha was quick enough to kick one in the leg and fight him.

I ducked at the other guard's swing and began to fight back whilst Natasha decided it was the right time to have a conversation.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she asked between punches, and we both managed to knock out our opponents before she looked to me with a glare.

I swallowed hard, breathing out through my nose. "We've been found out. We've gotta leave."

She clenched her jaw as I raised my gun again, leading the way out.

"I had it under control," she said with frustration, following after me.

I rolled my eyes at her sudden attitude. "A thank you would do nicely, you know."

"Thank you?! Are you serious?!" she snapped quietly, following me as I led us to the quickest exit. "You totally blew my cover!"

More guards spotted us and I glanced at her, ignoring the death stare she was sending my way. "Can you run in those?" I asked, referring to her heels.

When they took a shot at us, we both flinched and had no choice but to run away, attempting to find a way out of here.

"You ruined the mission!" she was still arguing as we ran. "I had it under control!"

"I had to!" I shouted back at her, getting annoyed with her accusations. "They were on to you, clearly!"

As if to prove my point, another shot went off in our direction and we were forced to round the corner, catching our breath for a moment before I spotted a window on one of the lower floors.

"Comms exists for a reason," she snapped, helping me open the window.

"They didn't work," I said through gritted teeth, wondering how she had the time to be pissed right now.

I attempted to grab her hand and help her through the window considering she was wearing a tight dress and heels, but she shoved my hand away and jumped through herself. I clenched my jaw at her pettiness before jumping through myself, landing on the grass beside her.

"Why the hell didn't it work? It's the one job you have!" she continued as we began to run again, ignoring the shots going off behind us.

Ignoring her now, I kept on running until we reached our van, and thankfully, Barton was in the back waiting for us, so I could only hope Jacob was sat in the front, ready to go.

"C'mon, c'mon," Barton ushered us in before shooting a few shots behind us then shutting the doors and banging the side.

I felt the van move in a hurry, all of us losing our balance for a moment before taking a seat and belting up.

"What the hell happened back there?" Barton asked, looking between Natasha and I.

Before I could respond, she was already complaining. "Y/N over here ruined my cover!"

I squeezed my hands into fists as I ignored her and looked to Barton. "We were made. Our comms cut out, the guards were all being alerted of Romanoff's presence, then they came here. I was only doing my job by going inside to warn her."

"I can handle myself!" she said with exasperation, making me look to her with my own glare.

"For fuck's sake, Natasha, I was trying to help you! Why are you pissed right now?" I shouted.

I'd never seen Natasha angry before, and it was safe to say I didn't want to see her angry again. Her lips were pressed together with a clenched jaw, green eyes dark and threatening, and she looked like she straight up wanted to murder me.

"Nat, she was doing her job," Barton suddenly said, to my surprise, breaking our staring competition. "She didn't do anything wrong."

"I had it under control," she said harshly.

I rolled my eyes at her stubbornness. "It's a team. I was just helping a teammate. I would've done it for any one of you guys!"

Turning her head to me, she shook her head slightly. "I didn't need your help, Y/L/N."

"You may be used to working alone, but at S.H.I.E.L.D., we work together," I told her sternly.

Narrowing her eyes, she muttered threateningly, "You don't know anything about me."

My lips curled with irritation. She was being especially touchy for no reason – all I was doing was my job. She wasn't special. And it was pissing me off that she was acting so immaturely right now.

"Okay, just shut up, both of you," Barton intervened with annoyance. "We'll discuss it back at HQ. For now, Nat, did you get what we came for?"

I glanced at her, and she purposely maintained eye contact as she reached into her bra to pull out a coin, the object we were after, and handed it to a reluctant Barton. Clenching my jaw, I looked away and stayed quiet, not in the mood to start with her.

We drove to the quinjet in a tense silence, thankfully with nobody following us, and kept to our own corners of the jet as Romanoff flew us back to HQ. Barton said he'd talk to her for me when we got back, but I didn't have high hopes seeing as Natasha was as stubborn as they came.

[trashyreptilian]

Lurking Danger, September 12th 1992 (Part 1)

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Author's Note: Before you read this, keep in mind that a lot of the events from TMC are changed in my AU. Gotta make it work somehow.

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Next Parts:

Lurking Danger, September 15th 1992 (Part 2)

Lurking Danger, September 15th 1992 (Part 3)

Lurking Danger, September 16th 1992 (Final Part)

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Characters: Cesar Torres (he/him) and Mark Heathcliff (he/him).

Summary: Meeting up with his now graduated friend, Cesar invites Mark over to his house since his parents were out for work. Everything seems to be going well but there's this lurking presence he keeps feeling. Like someone is watching him. Is he imagining things or is he being followed? (Word count: ~2 500)

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The ringing of school bells echoed throughout the halls. Cesar didn't notice until people around him started packing their stuff. Oh god, is it over already? Did I even listen to anything? Normally, he always looked forward to the drama club after classes, but he had his mind on something else. One of the club members noticed his unusual silent demeanor.

"Hey..." Putting their hand on his shoulder. "You were nowhere near as dramatic when we did those warm-up exercises" Cesar let out a chuckle at the remark. They faintly smiled. "Wanted to make sure you're okay, you looked totally out of it today. Quite unlike you, if I'm being honest." Cesar sighed. "I'm okay, thanks for asking though. It's just that, uh..." He paused, scratching his head. "This is going to sound weird but do you remember Mark?" There was a minute silence before they answered. "Oh! Mark Heathcliff, right? I don't remember much about him besides that he only hung around you. Did something happen to him?" He shook his head. "Well, no. He just graduated early and..." Looking down on the ground, scratching his head again. "Ah." Sounded like they understood what was going on. "I see. Getting used to him not being around anymore, huh?"

"Yeah... We'd always talk during recess and our lunch breaks. He would try to convince me to skip my classes for no damn reason and other stupid shit like that." They started patting his back. "Aww, you two must be very close."

All of a sudden, both of them heard a name being called out by other students by the door. "Ah shit, my friends are here. I don't think they can wait for me anymore." Swiftly grabbing their bag and giving a couple more pats on Cesar's back before leaving. "Sorry but I gotta run, I'll see you tomorrow! If you see Mark, tell him that I hope he's doing well!" They ran off and waved goodbye. Waving back as he got up from his chair. Left alone with his thoughts.

He looked over at the clock hanging on the wall. 4:30 p.m., better get going. Rushing out the door, nearly forgetting his own bag and leaving the lights on, he headed to the school's parking lot to meet up with Mark. As Cesar walked down the crowded hallways, he kept thinking about what the club member had said. "You two must be very close." Are we really? Bumping into other students by accident, he couldn't help himself from questioning his friendship. While he did see Mark as a close friend, it was never clear if he felt the same way about him. Whenever he'd open up about his struggles and family problems, Mark listened and tried to help but if Cesar ever asked what was going on with his life, he completely avoided answering the question and changed the subject matter. God forbid if he even dared pushing him to answer because he'd get pissed off. Come to think of it... When I asked him why he was graduating early, he gave me some dodgy excuse... But who am I to judge, I guess. Although, I wish he was a bit more honest with me and-

As he was getting closer to the exit, Cesar accidently bumped into someone and knocked over the stuff they were carrying. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! Here let me just pick this up for you." He wasted no time grabbing everything off the floor and handing it over to the person. "Again, really sorry about that!" Letting out a nervous laugh, he continued to walk towards the exit. His gaze shifted downward. Dammit, can I PLEASE go outside without embarrassing myself? Finally reaching for the door handle, he made his way to the parking lot.

A gentle autumn breeze blew across Cesar's face, molten-red leaves scattered across the ground. He started to look for Mark's car. Could have taken the bus as usual but this was one of the few ways of maintaining contact with his friend. While wandering around and aimlessly searching, his name was shouted, followed by a loud whistle.

Looking over to where the voice came from, he saw Mark waving a bit further away. With a smile on his face, Cesar ran up to him. "Well, you took your sweet time." Mark complained as he finished smoking his cigarette. "And you still overdress for school, never change man." He pulled out a pack of cigs, opened it up and offered to Cesar. "Want one before we drive off?" Cesar snickered. "Look who's talking, you're still wearing the same get up! A dirty hoodie and worn-out jeans. Also, no thank you. You know I don't smoke." Mark shrugged and put the pack back in his pockets. "Then get in, I have a night shift in a few hours."

Both of them settled themselves inside the car, and soon they drove away. Cesar enjoyed watching the view from the window, the trees had a nice warm glow under the sunlight. "Hey uh, by the way, I saw you earlier outside but when I called out, you ran off. What was that all about?" There was an awkward silence before Cesar answered. "Uh... I don't think that was me because I didn't leave school until you know, I finished all my classes."

"Huh..." Mark pondered. "Maybe I'm just imagining things. This job got me fucked up." Taking a brief gander at his face. "Yeah, those bags under your eyes are getting worse. I know you're not much of a sleeper anyway but holy shit, who thought it could get worse."

"I'm lucky if I get 5 hours sleep." Both mockingly chuckled. After half an hour, they found themselves in one of the richer neighborhoods. No mansions but the houses were definitely bigger and nicer than your average home. "Here we are." Mark said as he pulled up in front of Cesar's house. "Now get out." Jokingly patting at his shoulder. Cesar got out but didn't leave just yet. "Thanks for the ride. I appreciate it, it's better than riding those overcrowded buses."

"Don't mention it. I'll give you a call when I'm free for another ride." Mark started the engine but Cesar interrupted. "Hey listen, I don't know when we'll be able to meet up again with your busy schedule. My parents are out of town for a while, why don't you come over? I'm sure you have some time to kill before your shift!" Mark silently groaned and tilted his head down. "Man, I'm a little too tired..."

"Oh, come on, I'll cook dinner! It beats eating the shit that you make." Insisting, Mark stroke his chin. "Tempting...Very tempting." Cesar rolled his eyes and sighed. "Do I have to bribe you with alcohol for you to hang out with me?" With a cheeky grin on his face, he responded. "Perhaps..."

"FINE. One drink from my dad's liquor cabinet. But only one, okay?" He hated doing this but one drink shouldn't hurt if it means spending more time with him. "You got yourself a deal." Getting out of his car and heading towards the house. "Come on now, I don't have all day!"

Cesar caught up to him and pulled out his keys as they approached near the door. While unlocking it and letting Mark in first, the nearby trash cans violently got knocked over. Startled but dismissed it to some large rodent causing that. Locking the door behind him, he went to his bedroom to change his attire then headed to the kitchen where his friend was waiting with a drink in his hand. Already got to the alcohol, of course... He put on an apron, preparing himself to cook.

Some time passed, he managed to whip up something good in the little time that he had. They ate stuffed peppers, while Cesar thought that he could have made them tastier, Mark scoffed it all down like he hadn't eaten for days. "Shit man, I sometimes forget how good your cooking is. This is amazing." About to thank him, but the unexpected sound of what seemed like someone throwing a pebble at the window caught him off guard. "Wait, did you hear that?" He got up from the dining table and went to check it out. As Cesar opened up the window, loud rustling came from the bushes near the house. His heart pounded faster. What the hell...? Before he could call over Mark to take a look, the rustling stopped. I swear to God, if someone is actually messing with me...

"Something wrong?" Asking with a worried tone. "No... Just admiring the view." Cesar laughed it off nervously. Mark frowned, didn't look like he believed him. Cesar crossed his arms; eyes began to shift. "Oh hey, would you look at the time! Isn't your shift starting soon?" He pointed at the grandfather clock across the room. "Ah shit, you're right." Mark swiftly finished the last few bites of his dinner before getting his jacket. "Thanks for the dinner and alcohol, it's nice to not have to starve yourself again. I'll see you soon, it was good catching up with you!" Both of them headed for the door, Mark ran to his car. Waving goodbye before he was gone.

Back inside, he noticed that it was getting late rather fast. I should probably call it a day. Cesar yawned and went upstairs to his bedroom for some well-deserved shut-eye. Cleaning himself up, changing into his pajamas, and despite all the odd little occurrences, he managed to fall asleep. However, his sleep was disturbed by a startling sound.

Cesar felt his heart drop, this time it certainly wasn't his imagination playing tricks on him. Shattering glass echoed outside his room. Quickly getting up from his bed, he locked the door and put his ear against it to listen more closely. He could make out distant footsteps somewhere. SHIT. Okay, okay, don't panic. Think this through... Clearly, he needs to call 911 but there were only two phones available. One in the kitchen and the other in the security room, as his parents called it. Wait... What if it's an alternate? I need to check the cameras then... He hoped for it to be human but there was no way of telling unless he confronted the person himself. His heart was beating out of his chest as he thought about precisely in which direction he needs to run to.

Cold sweat poured down his face as he unlocked the door and peeked through it. The house, pretty much plunged in darkness besides a few areas lighted by the moonlight. Hands shaking profusely; he took a deep breath before making a run for it. Luckily, he didn't have to run far, but he nearly tripped along the way. Nothing chased him but once he got inside the security room, he had to take a breather. Beginning to calm down a bit, he frantically searched for the remote to the TV monitor. Aha! There you are. Having found it, he turned on the TV and switched on to live feed. Checking each camera, nothing out of the ordinary appeared until he examined the kitchen. An unnaturally tall figure was standing in the corner. Shit, I can barely see him. In the shadows, there was a pair of white glowing dots. Are those his eyes...?

The mysterious figure slowly crept up towards the camera. Cesar's eyes widened, a sudden urge to vomit overwhelmed him. It's an alternate... The thing had a shockingly wide smile, its teeth were elongated. The torso looked like it was on the verge of breaking in half. Those glowing dots were its pupils, the rest of the eyes were completely black. He turned off the monitor when he heard it laughing. Deranged cackling filled the kitchen, their voice was unstable. Cesar dropped to the ground, his heart was racing, his vision slowly got blurry. He was on the verge of tears.

Dear god... What the fuck do I do now...? Almost impossible for him to concentrate under all the sudden pressure. Wait, the T.H.I.N.K principle... I'll be fine, just have to stay calm and focus. What were the steps again? Pulling himself together, taking deep breaths. First is to tell an authority figure. Immediately dialing 911, his sweaty hand made it hard to hold the phone properly. It rang once, twice, three times, he had become certain that he'd be ignored when the fourth ring was interrupted by a click.

"911, what's your emergency?" An operator answered.

"An... An alternate is in my house... I locked myself in a room and I think it's still in my kitchen." Cesar felt the shakiness in his voice, breathing became heavier.

"Okay, have you followed the rest of the T.H.I.N.K principle? Did you identify what type it is?" They asked.

"I- I think it's a type 3, it looked like me but it had a lot of uncanny features." Cesar recalled how Mark said that he had seen him earlier. Was it stalking me the entire time? His body, shaking from the adrenaline.

"A flawed impersonator. If safe to do so, try to neutralize it with a fire arm. I have already traced your address from this call and help will be sent over to you. Please stay where you are until the police arrive." With that, the line went dead.

He held the phone up to his ear, listening to the beeping. Expected the operator to stay on the line longer. Assuming that they must have their hands full with other emergencies, he put the receiver away.

Slightly relieved, he continued to follow the procedure. Okay, next, what the operator said. Neutralize... That was out of the question, even if he had a gun with him, he wouldn't muster up the courage to face that creature. Shit, okay well I can't fight back. That leaves me with the final step. Know your place in reality... Cesar touched around his face and body. Well... I'm here and alive, for now... Looking at his surroundings. Stuck in here... With no food... Or water... But it's FINE. Help is on the way. I'll be fine, right...?

The room had one single window, his only view of outside. He could try to escape from there but the height was too dangerous. He could scream for help but it might agitate the alternate. I'm stuck, ha-ha... I'm really fucking stuck in here... SHIT... His mind kept shifting from calm to terrified. He sat in the corner, far away from the door.

Deafening silence filled the house but Cesar knew it was still inside his home. Him and his impersonator alone together.

[heshoes]

She was his best friend and they shared everything together already anyway. What difference would it make if it were a hat, shampoo, or the same bed sometimes? So what? That's what the Uni Daze were about, having fun, traditions, getting serious, new relationships, friendships, heart ache, break-ups, make ups, secrets, the occasional/casual bajingo here and there, and possibly, just maybe, finding the love of your life and hoping that it all works out.

Warnings: smut, slow burn, angst, mentions of abortion, mentions of verbal abuse

Harry Styles x OC (Face claim Zendaya)

Uni Daze Masterlist

Chapter 1 (Word Count 4k)

Harry

Water droplets cascaded down my neck before I grabbed a towel to throw over my head. That shower was definitely needed. My muscles would be sore from my workout this morning, but I enjoy the ache. As I headed towards my room to put on clothes I noticed that my roommates door was still closed and for Michelle this can only mean one thing.

I pulled up my trousers and pulled my t-shirt over my head before layering it with a plaid button up. If she doesn't wake up soon, I'll be forced to take measures into my own hands. I walked halfway down the hall and then stopped to pick up the beanie that I let Michelle borrow last night. The hat was carelessly tossed on the floor along with a t-shirt of hers and a pink-ish orange lace bra. This was just one of the many downsides of living with a woman. Even if she is your best mate, finding the occasional bras and panties mixed into your clothes on laundry day can put a damper on your chances of trying and talk to a girl if you don’t have a washer and drier in house, and lets not even mention those four to five days out of the month when a tampon box is left on the bathroom sink and you have to explain that to a date. Not thinking, I picked all of the items up before I dropped the shirt and bra on the ground, feeling somewhat awkward touching something that was so close in contact with Michelle's...intimate bits.

"Michelle?!" No answer…

"Mitchell?! Wake up you're gonna be late for our first class!”

I laughed to myself at her lack of response before I sauntered back down the hall to my room grabbing the Ultimate Alarm; a fog horn that Michelle, the lads, and I nabbed from a school footie game. We each have one and have all have organized to use it with each other when the drink has made us more sluggish than functional.

Not much has changed since the first day I met Michelle. She's the only one here that I've met who seems to have stayed the same throughout all the three years of university that I've known her....That can be looked at as both a good and a bad thing.

Shaking the foghorn with devilish delight and biting my cheeks so that I wouldn't blow my cover, my feet stopped in front of her door once again. I cracked the entrance slightly sticking my arm in the room and turning my head away to shield my ears as much as possible from the noise. As soon as I pressed the button to sound it off, I heard a loud thudding sound followed by cursing. If she wasn't up before, she's up now.

"WHAT THE FUCK, HAZLAND?!”

I ran back to my room to put the horn down and grab my bag. This is the first year that I haven't strained my back to pick it up. Fouth year with a lighter load but more studying than I did in all the other three years combined seems pretty backwards to me, but I won't complain.

"What time is it?”

"Half- Oh-“

Michelle emerged from her room looking worse for wear. Her hair was in a nest atop her head and she only wore a long sleeved burgundy t-shirt and a black pair of boy short knickers on her lithe, lanky frame. I  swallowed deeply and turned my head away not expecting her to be so scantily clad. The colors contrasted with her warm honey/caramel skin tone and it was only then that I took in how much of her skin was actually showing. I've seen her naked before but it was an accident and brief. Very brief. I only saw her outlines really, nothing of real importance... not that I was trying to look or anything.

"Half past eight. Go put on trousers! I don't want to see your bajingo!”

Michelle primped her dry lips at me prior to moistening them with a swipe of her tongue, making sure to flip her middle finger up in my direction before she disappeared back into her room.

"Everyone wants to see my bajingo Harry and that's plenty of time for me to get ready. You didn't have to use the Ultimate Alarm. It's not like I was in a drug induced coma!”

"I called you twice but you didn't answer. I thought that-“

I trailed off my words as a gorgeous blonde walked out of Michelle's room. Her hair was tussled and she was scrambling to adjust her skirt as Michelle looked at me with a tightlipped grin, feeling out the room.Michelle walked her secret house guest to the door and gave her a lingering kiss that caused the girl to stand on tip toe before awkwardly waving a goodbye to her and shutting the door. I was left stunned.

"Pick your jaw up off the floor Styles!”

"That- that was a girl.”

“Yes."

"She was your friend?”

“No."

Michelle walked into the kitchen grabbing an orange juice carton out of the refrigerator. She took a sip straight from the jug causing me to grimace before she rolled her eyes at me and grabbed a  red solo cup. I was only momentarily distracted before I continued on my previous trail of thought.

"But, you were...and she…"

"Yes Harry, spit it out come on. You're almost there. I know it. I can feel it”

"She was putting her clothes back on.”

Michelle nodded her head in agreement as she continued to guzzle the rest of our citrusy, pulp free juice. After she finished it, she tossed the empty plastic to me and then walked out of the kitchen. I was right by the bin but set the cup on the countertop as my brain continued to navigate through what I think I want to ask.

"You didn't have on many clothes…"

"No, Harry. Neither of us did last night.”

Michelle folded her arms while squinting at me. The hint she's dropped allows what comes out of my mouth next to be uninhibited and honestly sound a bit too over zealous about the idea.

"You had sex with her?”

Michelle nodded her head up and down grinning slightly. Almost a smug look on her face I would say. She hadn't been in a relationship in a while. The last one I remember was when she was with my best mate Louis. It's how I met her as a matter of fact. Michelle and Louis are virtually the same person. It's freaky sometimes. She could be a reincarnate of him as a girl. They were inseparable, but when it ended it ended badly. I'm still not clear on the reason why. Neither of them will talk about it, but I managed to stay neutral in the whole situation and still be able to carry on a friendship with both of them. I'm still good friends with Lou, but he doesn't come around as much since I moved in with Michelle. Me and her got on so well while her and Louis dated it was hard not to become friends with her as well. Louis moved on and moved in with his bird earlier this year and I haven't really seen Michelle with anyone...Until now.

"So-so, you're a lesbian then?”

"Yes Harry. I've 'switched teams' as they say.”

"Since when?” I was just so shocked.

"Since over the summer...Does it bother you?” Michelle looked down at the ground and scratched the back of her neck as if she were bracing herself if I said it did and to be honest I was slightly offended that she’d think that way of me.

“No… No, I just never saw you with anyone over the summer.”

I could hear a sigh of relief escape Michelle’s lips as she turned to leave the front door.

I could have sworn she only hung out with me and the lads when Louis wasn't around. She hung out with us so much and we'd gotten so comfortable around her that we actually started counting her as one of the guys and calling her 'Mitch' or 'Mitchell' instead of Michelle. She always pretends to get cross with us when we called her that, but she can never keep a straight face long enough for us to believe that she doesn't like it.

"That doesn't mean I wasn't with anyone Harrow." Michelle winked at me and went back into her room coming out ten minutes later in joggers, a t-shirt, and Nike trainers with no backpack, one pencil, and a pen. Very prepared.

"Told you thirty minutes was more than enough time. Come now, Hazland.”

"...That's what she said." I smiled proudly at my own joke while Michelle gave me an unwavering a stale face.

"If I can say anything about growth in these last 4 years of our friendship it would be that you have made the least of it. You are the worst.”

“The pot shouldn’t call the kettle names. I thought it was funny." I grinned at her irritation grabbing all of my things in preparation to start the final year.

"Of course you did. Usually when you think it's funny that means it's not.”

Michelle exited out leaving me to lock the door to our new off campus apartment but I wanted to know more. 

I followed behind her and asked her all types of questions. You can't just spring on people that you've switched sides and not expect them to want to know all of the details. In all honesty it wasn't a big deal as long as she was happy. Perhaps I was just being nosy, but after usually seeing her with mainly men my underlying question to her was probably, "Why?"

"I wasn't having that much luck with guys, Haz. One night I went out for a drink and a girl approached me so I figured, why the hell not? What could it hurt, really? Nothing. I went for it, and I enjoyed myself.”

She didn't have a great track record with guys after her split with Lou. She was so unhappy at one point, but then again when you bring home assholes and expect them to turn into stand up gents tears are to be expected. They always looked like gutter grunge to me but at the moment that seemed to be her type, so I didn't say anything. I've actually spent a lot of nights with Michelle rubbing her back as she cried against my shoulder and handing her the odd Kleenex to substitute for my shirt. Now that I think about it, last summer I really didn't see her with any guys. I guess when I saw her with girls I always assumed they were just her friends.

"So...What's it like?”

"What's what like?”

"You know the, um, the switch...What's it like?" Michelle threw her head back and laughed as we reached the main building for our senior seminar class.

"You mean what's it like going from cock to fanny? Is that what you're asking me?" I raised my eyebrows at her bluntness and I could feel heat rise in my cheeks. There's no beating about the bush with Michelle, not anymore anyway.

"Pretty much, yeah. That's what I'm asking. I’m just being nosy. If it’s too much you don’t have to-“

"Honestly," Michelle shifted her eyes back and forth as if she was going to tell me the secret to life in her next sentence, "It's so much better. Guys have no clue what they're doing down there. It's so refreshing to have someone know exactly what it is that I want, when I want it, and how I want it without explaining myself like I'm a bloody rubix cube. Did you know that there are three holes down there?” She asked me sarcastically as if we weren’t both on track for Med school.

"I resent that! And no…no I didn't know that.” I replied to sarcasm with sarcasm, grinning to myself much like the purple devil emoji. I surely did know all the holes.

"Why is that, Hazland? The resentment issue?”

We took our seats in the half full lecture room at the back of the class as we normally do. Michelle, myself and the rest of the gang have started many an early weekend by sitting in the back of the class, signing the attendance sheet and then leaving when the professors back was turned. I don't think I'll do that this year though. I have too many important tests to take if I want to be a doctor. I mean to pass the UKCAT exam the first time.

"Because I'm not half bad at it. At least I don't think I am... Never got a complaint before and I don't intend to.”

Michelle laughed loudly as the professor walked in, drawing attention our way. I smiled and waved at the onlookers before Michelle chuckled again grabbing my hand to stop me as the professor started to speak.

"Just because you never got a complaint doesn't mean that it wasn't said, Harrow. Nine times out of ten, if you don’t hear a complaint it’s because she cares more about your ego than her orgasm...It’s a shame really.”

I primped my lips at her and we continued to whisper to each other back and forth while we took notes on what the professor wrote on the whiteboard during the lecture. There would be two major papers in this class. Thankfully for the twenty page essay that we'll be assigned to do later on in the quarter we can have a partner. Michelle quickly leaned her head on my shoulder choosing me to work with when the paper isn't even due until the last week of class. I of course accepted her. Not only is she my friend but she's one of those annoyingly clever people. I've honestly never seen Michelle open or purchase one required textbook in all of our three years knowing each other in our university careers, but every time marks are posted her marks are always first class honors.

By the end of class, I ended up giving Michelle a hefty amount of paper for notes in seminar and for the other classes she had throughout the rest of the day. It baffles me as to how she's this born genius, but the most unorganized person that I know at the same time. Her only response to my annoyance was, "At least I have writing utensils.”

"Was that girl this morning your girlfriend?”

"No. I'm an admitting fuckgirl. What’s the saying? If you can’t beat them join them. I refuse to be part of the played group any more. It's our last year after all. I figure it's time to up the ante. Let monogamy go.”

I laughed and shook my head before another question came up. It was always something I wanted to know about lesbians but was too embarrassed to ask. It's not like I have many lesbian friends who I could turn to and get the information that most want to know.  I'm never that embarrassed around Michelle though.

"So, erm, um...who's more dominant, when you're...You know?”

Michelle rolled her eyes at the question and I began to feel like an ass.

"When we're scissoring?" She spoke loudly making my thought about embarrassment wrong.

“Chelle!"

Michelle snickered knowing that she's put a vivid image in my head of her and the mystery blonde. I shake the thought before I get too carried away. I'm not supposed to get aroused with the thought of my best friend and another girl.

"Whoever feels like it whenever they feel like it? It was always a competition with men isn't it?”

“I don’t think it’s so much a competition as it is that some women don't like being on top?” I spoke presenting the idea causing her to pop her lips in disagreement.

“It’s never asked though is it? Sounds like male assumption to me. When I'm with a girl it's just flat out pleasurable for the pair of us. It's not about dominance, Harry. It's about getting off. Scissoring isn't a thing though, by the by.”

I nodded my head up and down still in awe that she of all people had taken a liking to someone who has the same bits as she does. It didnt' bother me like she thought it did earlier and I hope I didn't give her that impression by my line of questioning. Honestly these were just things I always wanted to know. I'm actually more hurt that scissoring apparently isn't a thing...They make it look so pleasurable in porn...I've been bamboozled.

"That's enough questions about me for now. What's happened to you?”

"What do you mean?"

"Harry full offense, but you were a slut when I first met you. You've since depleted in your numbers dramatically, except I'm sure the use of your hand. There were tissues in your bin the other night when I was cleaning the apartment and you don't have a cold…"

"I have h-hay fever Michelle! Allergies kick up at random times... Don't clean my room, I'll do it! It's personal in there. I knew I couldn't find any of my shit for a reason. And hang on-" I knotted my eyebrows playfully at her earlier slut comment.

I admit that I got around, but I moved very slowly. I've only ever had sex with seven or maybe nine girls in my twenty-one years give or take. I don't really keep count. It's not like they were souvenirs or notches on my belt for me to keep track of. All of them were an experience and I'm pretty sure I could name them all if I had to.

The first time happened my last year in 6th form or high school you could say and I didn't even know Michelle then. I got teased for that a bit, but I wasn't in a rush. The maybe other seven or eight happened here at uni but it wasn't as frequent as Michelle makes it out to be. The first two were in my first year when I met Michelle, one of them ended up being my girlfriend over a span of Five months. After that, I only was only ever active with a few more spaced out over the course of two and a half years, and they were regulars. That's not that bad when you think about it, especially for a guy my age at university.

"You were Haz! You had a new girl every weekend.”

"I did not! They were the same few people. They just kind of, alternated? You just never paid them any attention so you thought they were different every time. You're giving me more credit than I deserve." 

Michelle rolled her eyes and continued to tease me.

"Whatever. What's happened then?”

"I don't know what you mean. I got invested in my studies. I have to take the UKCAT this year.”

"When is the last time you fun bit wrestled, willy waggled, played 'hide the helmet', rolled in the hay as they say?" I scrunched my nose and then thought about it and then got frustrated that I had to actually think about it.

“Yet I’m the worst? Who’s this they you speak of?" I asked her, squinting my eyes and tilting my head to the side.

"Everyone says those things when talking about sex. The more mature ones do anyway. Stop dilly dallying and answer the question. When is the last time you put your 'p' in a ‘v'?"

"S-spring? Early spring? Early Spring terms I guess…"

I could feel my cheeks turn red as I answered her question and Michelle bit her cheeks as an odd snorting noise left her nose while she tried to hold in her laughter. It's not that funny.

"You haven't fucked since the spring?" I  laughed more at myself than at the shocked look on her face and shook my head no.

"No, not actual Spring. Early spring terms, so February...My birthday.”

"Harry, we're at the end of August here! You might as well count yourself as celibate. Not that I can blame the girls for dodging you. You still call a vagina a bajingo.”

I chuckled before I spoke, "The word vagina is honestly just as bad as bajingo. And this is coming from someone who has over a hundred words and phrases for sex.”

"A hundred and counting, Harrow.”

I shrugged my shoulders and tried to make the red in my cheeks less noticeable by rubbing my hand over my face. Spring term is when I decided to get more focused. I threw myself into clubs and my books to try to get more into school and buckle down. I'm even president of our graduating class now, prepared to serve on the Alumni council after graduation and I for one am proud of myself for getting this far. The greater half of my first three years here at university was spent at frat parties and in my bed sleeping class time away. I barely know how I made it through this far with decent grades, but I'm grateful that I did. Failure isn't an option.

Michelle stood on tip toe, leaning her head on my shoulder all the while soothingly rubbing my back. When I turned my head to face her, she batted her long lashes at me and made her big brown eyes look like one of those odd cartoon characters whose eyes cover more than half of their face.

"It's okay, Harry.”

"What is?”

"That you haven't gotten any pussy in over six months." Michelle has officially taken a back seat and let Mitchell take the wheel. This is how she got the nickname in the first place.

"Sod off Mitch! It's not like it's a bad thing-“

"Like shit it isn’t."

"I'm busy anyway.”

"With your hand and those bin tissues." I nudged Michelle off my shoulder feigning to be fed up with her masturbation jokes.

"Well if you weren't in my room you wouldn't have seen them! Gosh, you do something one time and then that's what people automatically associate you with!”

Michelle lets out another awkward snort that causes both of us to laugh out loud as we walk through the halls preparing to go our separate ways for the rest of the day.

"That was actually kind of funny Harry. Your jokes are getting a bit better.”

"Yeah, I know. They're funny when they're at my expense.”

"Aw, Hazland. You poor, poor serial masturbator. I'll see you later, yeah?”

"Yeah," I grinned at her before I turned to leave.

"Wait, how much later?” Michelle walked back towards me with one eyebrow raised to the sky as I tried to quickly map out my schedule for the day in my head before spitting it out to her.

"Uh, I get done with classes at half five, then I have a class meeting at six, and then I work at the first year halls front desk from seven to eleven thirty tonight. So I'll probably get home around midnight."

I contently sighed and grinned at Michelle as a look of pure horror took place of her once relaxed features. Her eyes seemed to widen larger after every additional activity that I listed, but I truly enjoyed remaining busy. Michelle's face remained contorted with displeasure before she spoke.

"So you're still coming to the pub later with the lads right?”

"Uh-oh. Chelle I don't know. I kind of forgot all about that. I don't think I will though, it's Monday and-“

"Ah, ah, ah, I'm not taking no as an answer. You promised and it's welcome week anyway. The pub is gonna be live! Just swing by and have one drink.”

“Nahhh I think I’m gonna-”

"One drink.”

“Sit this one out.”

"One drink, Harrow. One. Come on its tradition. You can't just bum out on tradition. This is our last year." She held up her tiny pointer finger to emphasize her point before she spoke again, this time in a small whisper, “One."

“No."

“Please?"

“No."

“Please?” Her lips pouted and her eyes turned sad trying her hand at manipulation.

"No, Chelle. No. Stop looking at me that way...Oh! Gah! Fine. I'll head to the pub when I get off work. One drink. One.”

Michelle bounced on her feet and clapped her hands in excitement making me shake my head before I turned to leave. Before I could make a real step Michelle called my name again.

"Hey, do you think I could borrow a pen? I seemed to have dropped mine."

[mlmxreader]

Moments | Rick Grimes x M!reader

request; “I could only think of your lips” Rick Grimes x Male reader…do what you will with this tbh 👀 - @leatherednlace

 summary: Rick visits you while you're healing up

 warnings: swearing, blood/injury, mentions of death

 word count: 679

Nursing a gunshot wound was a pain at the best of times, but with one lodged in your ribs, you knew that you wouldn't be able to make it that far out of the house until it had fully healed up; Michonne came to check on you every now and then, a kind smile on her face as she explained to you what was happening outside of the four walls of your room, she would light up as she talked about the things that she was particularly proud of - she told you about how Carl and Judith were doing, how they were begging to see you and to ask if their step-father was alright still. You told her not to let them in, after all, they were only kids, they didn't need to see any more pain or suffering. Their father, your husband Rick, also came to visit as often as he could, spending hours at your side until he had to be pulled away by something else - you knew that he blamed himself, as if you hadn't gotten in front of him, the bullet would be in his ribs, not yours. He thought he had gotten you killed.

"For a moment, I thought I was dying," you told him when he asked during today's visit. "I thought everything was coming to an end, and I'd end up a walker, and… and I could only think of your lips."

Rick frowned, his beard showing more and more grey each day as he ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair and sighed. "I am so sorry, (y/n), I didn't mean to get you-"

"Rick, baby," you chuckled, masking the wince by closing your eyes for a moment. "You didn't do anything wrong. You know that."

"But if-"

"Rick." You growled, shaking your head. "No."

He smiled, taking your hand in his. He would think about this moment for a while, he would think about all the little moments that he had had with you over the years; he looked upon those little moments like nothing else actually mattered. They were a fondness and something good in a world full of shit of which could never be taken away from him. His memories, the moments with loved ones, could never be taken away by someone.

"It's hot out there," he told you with a low and hushed voice. "D'you want me to bring you an ice pack?"

"I'm good," you told him, patting his hand gently. "How are you, though? Are you sure you're okay?"

"My husband almost dies trying to save me, my kids don't know what's going on," he started, "we got Negan banging on our door every other day, but… I'm doing fine. I just…"

"Just what?"

"I miss the old days," he sniffled, swallowing thickly and knowing that, with you, he could afford to be so vulnerable. "Remember when we'd sneak around?"

"Yeah, and thanks to your fucking car, we almost got caught," you laughed a little, enough for it to be there but not enough for it to hurt you even more than you already were. "Multiple times."

"And now we're the walking dead," he sighed.

"Yeah, but…" you shrugged. "It's not our faults that the world went to shit - and I still have you, which means you still have me, right?"

"Right," he nodded.

"And we'll always have those times," you told him. "Not even a zombie apocalypse can take away memories, right?"

"Right."

"Besides, if I gotta be honest, I prefer you looking all rugged," you added. "It suits you."

"I need a shave," Rick dared to crack a smile.

"Don't," you shook your head, smiling back. "Trust me on this one, don't shave."

Those little moments with you were all that were left in Rick's mind, little moments scattered amongst a world of shit, little moments that he would hold dearly and would never allow to be taken away from him; he would cling to them, he would cherish them like a pirate's treasure, and he would never let them go.

[taizi]

This is pretty vague but i love the way you write the fujiwaras and tanuma both watching over natsume together?? Or like, the fujiwaras observing tanuma and natsumes relationship?? If you could write something about that that would be swell 💕💕💕

x

"Goodness, you got here quickly," Touko says, ushering Kaname inside. "It's as if you flew!"

For whatever reason, the boy immediately looks shifty, glancing at Takashi's silly cat and then away again. Honestly, she really shouldn't be surprised that he sprang on the invitation to come over; Takashi has been home sick from school for the last week or so, and keeping his friends away while he was contagious has been like herding cats.

"You said I could come right away," Kaname says, awkward and earnest and uncertain of himself, as if he hasn't spent countless afternoons here over the last three years. "So I... I'm sorry, should I have waited?"

"Of course you shouldn't have," Touko assures him. "You're right where you belong."

"Here, Kaname, bring this upstairs with you," Shigeru says from the kitchen door, holding a tray loaded with tea and a selection of snacks. "It'll be a miracle if you can convince him to eat anything, but I wouldn't put it past you."

Kaname blinks, confused by that, even as he reaches out to take the tray. Touko smothers a smile behind her hand.

He's a tall, gangly thing, with inches of height on even Atsushi-- practically towering above Satoru and Tooru-- but he's never once over-shadowed any of his friends. He still shrinks like someone half his size if you look at him for too long. It doesn't seem to occur to him that he could be anything special to anybody.

"Um, I'll do my best!" he says, and Shigeru fondly waves him away.

"He's such a sweetheart," Touko says when he's gone upstairs with Nyankichi. "But he seems so lonely all the time."

Just a little bit, he reminds her of a scarecrow. Head and shoulders above everything else, arms always outstretched.

"Not all the time," Shigeru says fairly. He pulls a chair out from the table for her, and sets a fresh cup of hot tea in front of her when she's settled. Joining her across the table, he adds, "He and Takashi are good for each other."

Touko brightens, curling her fingers around her cup to soak in the warmth. "You've noticed, too! They're like two pieces of a matching set. I used to think they just sort of gravitated towards each other because they were both the same sort of quiet, you know? But I think there's more to it than that."

"You remember how we were at their age?" Shigeru asks with a smile. "We could sit together for hours without saying a word. Our best friends didn't realize we were a couple until we'd been dating for a month."

"It took me kissing you on the cheek after school for them to get a clue!" Touko laughs, sitting back in her chair. "They were stunned! Do you remember, Hana-chan said something like, 'how were we supposed to know? The two of you are just the same as you've always been!' And you told her-- "

"'Exactly,'" Shigeru says, with as much certainty as when he said it back then.

It's too soon to tell, but Touko thinks that's the shape of things. It's not that Kaname loves Takashi more than the rest of their friends do; it's certainly not that he's more demonstrative, or that he understands Takashi in a way the others don't.

It's just that he's so gentle, and stubborn when it matters, and no amount of bad moods or bad weather is enough to make him bend. He waited patiently this last week, but he ran all the way here the moment he was allowed.

If she were to go upstairs right now, Touko knows that she would find Kaname and her son deep in conversation, working their way through the snacks as they catch each other up on everything that happened while they were apart, more talkative and lively when they're alone together than they are virtually anywhere else.

It's very sweet. They both deserve to have that. There were multiple reasons that Kaname was the first one she called, but above everything else, it's because he deserves it.

And then the front door rattles open.

"Sorry for intruding!" Satoru's voice rings out from the genkan. Unlike Kaname, he's certain of his welcome, and trips right inside. He makes big, wounded eyes at her from the kitchen doorway. "Auntie, Tanuma’s bragging in the groupchat that he got to come over! Is that true? Is Natsume not sick anymore?"

Tooru is leaning over Satoru's shoulder, ever his partner in crime, and Atsushi is a little further behind them, clearly having lost this contest of wills somewhere along the way.

Shigeru hides his face behind his mug, so Touko is the one who tells them, "He's still a little ill, but he's not contagious. You're welcome to go upstairs and keep him company if you're not too rowdy."

With a cheer, Tooru and Satoru race each other for the stairs. Atsushi trails after them, calling, "You guys, she just said--"

"Good thing Satoru showed up. We couldn't ask for a better chaperone," Shigeru manages to say with a straight face.

Touko only feels a little bit guilty for laughing. She gave them as much of a head-start as she could. 

And later that week, on her way back from the grocery store, Touko will look out over a vegetable garden and spot someone's handmade scarecrow listing over the neat rows of sprouts. There are birds perched along its arms, and one pecking playfully at its head, disrupting the peaceful evening with their noisy chatter.

She'll smile the rest of the way home.