#we're going with it. idk. i want to post it ive been looking at it for 8 hours so into the ether it goes

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Hard to Shake (M, cold)

Woof, that was too long of a hiatus. I'm back with some Greyson sickfic! In this, Greyson has a one night stand and ends up 'running into' his hookup in a not-so-stellar way. This was a fun write, I'm feeling a little rusty after taking a couple months off writing but I hope you all like it. Please let me know what ya think, good, bad or indifferent! :)

CW: M snz, colds, contagion, coughing, some M/M romance but nothing above PG-13 lol. 5k words (it's a slow burn, shocker, I know)

Hard to Shake

The club was dark, humid, and loud as fuck - just the way he liked it.

“I’ll get us drinks,” Matt said, disappearing into the crowd to push towards the bar without waiting on Greyson’s response. Not that he would have stopped his counterpart; Matt had a boyfriend waiting for him at the end of this black hole of a night. Greyson, alternatively, was on the prowl for a bed, and someone to share it with.

They had begun the night at two pm, just an hour after brunch ended, since the only way to get a proper buzz on a Sunday was to start early as hell. Elijah had closed the restaurant early – “We’ve had ten guests all day. It’s too damn hot for brunch, and I want to go home” – and Mark was currently on a plane home from England after a week spent with family; it was like the universe was begging them to go out.

The restaurant’s reservations had been capped at a tiny number the next two days to prepare for their food writer dinner on Wednesday, and Greyson was so nervous about this career-shaping dinner that he could barely keep himself from lapsing into panic attacks at the slightest provocation; it was Matt who insisted on the bender.

“We haven’t gone on a good one since Mark and I got together,” the sous chef had said after service. “And you need a drink, you're acting like a psycho.”

Greyson, never one to deny himself a good binge drink, had taken the bait and allowed himself to be paraded through the city for the rest of the day. Now, at eleven pm and with Mark back at his and Matt's place safe and sound, Greyson could feel the night coming to a close. Time to round it out with a good old-fashioned one-night-stand.

Without waiting for Matt to return with the drinks, Greyson sashayed onto the dance floor and began grinding on whoever seemed the most into it – he ground on a group of drunk men, twirled between two gorgeous women who laughed giddily through the song, and put his tongue into so many people’s mouths that he lost count. Of course it was fun; it always was. But the hunt for a bed partner had proven, thus far, unsuccessful.

“There you are,” Matt slurred, coming up behind his boss and shoving a whiskey into his hand. “Why do you always run off? I’m about three seconds away from getting you one of those toddler-leash backpacks.”

“Makin’ friends, Matty boy,” Greyson said, chugging his drink and slamming the glass onto the closest table he could find. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of goin’ home to a warm, naked man in our bed.” Greyson elbowed Matt playfully and the younger man rolled his eyes.

“Fair ‘nough,” he said, sipping his drink. “Hey, actually, I saw someone who was exactly your type back near the bar. Talkin’ about food and everything.” Greyson raised his eyebrows, intrigued, and Matt looped his arm into his boss’s and led him back towards the horseshoe-shaped bar. “Let’s see if we can’t get you fucked to sleep.”

Matt pushed the two of them through the crowd, his head on a swivel, until finally he spotted the man he’d been talking about. “There he is,” Matt said, pushing Greyson towards the bar. “Do your thing.”

The sous hadn’t lied; this man was quintessential Greyson’s type. Shorter than his six-foot-three-inches by about half a foot, perfect skin, hair coiffed in a way that just smelled of total pretentious douchebag, and a full blazer and dress pants at the club. Oh yeah, Greyson thought, pulling the elastic out of his sandy curls and shaking them to fall around his shoulders, there’s the rest of my evening.

“Hi,” Greyson said, pushing himself in front of whoever the guy had been talking to before. “Can I buy you a drink?”

***

In his defense, he hadn't known the condition of the man he'd left with until they got to his apartment. The club had been dark; he could barely hear the sound of his own voice, let alone the wheeze of someone else’s. And he’d been really, really drunk.

“Hh-! EISHH-oo! ISHH-oo!” The man – Reed, Greyson had learned his name was – curled into his elbow to sneeze as he pushed open the door to his apartment. “Shit, pardon mbe,” he muttered, clearing his throat and beckoning Greyson in. The chef, blasted as he was, simply ignored Reed’s constant sneezing.

“Now, where were we?” Greyson purred, pawing the back of Reed’s head and pulling it into his own. The two stood in the entry of Reed’s apartment – a truly incredible fifteenth-story one-bedroom in the Upper East Side with its own doorman – making out until Reed had to pull away to catch his breath.

“Shit,” he said again, panting, “sorry. Thought the worst of this fuckin’ cold was behind mbe but – ISHHOO! Snrf. Apparently ndot.” He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and cringed. “I understand if you don’t want to stay,” he said, giving Greyson an apologetic look.

Greyson remained unfettered. “Reed,” he said, taking a step back towards the other man. “Stop talking. And get in bed.”

Reed’s face colored. He opened his mouth to say something, but Greyson cut him off with another kiss.

“What did I just say?” Greyson asked, taking off his t-shirt and unbuttoning Reed’s expensive-looking button down. “Get in the bed -” - he yanked the shirt off the smaller man and licked him, navel to collar bone, prompting a moan - “- and let me take care of you.”

To his credit, Reed did as he was told. He did as he was told all night long.

***

“Lij, I don’t want to alarm you.”

“Greyson, I don’t want to hear it. Zip it. I’m being so serious right now.”

“I don’t want to alarm you,” Greyson repeated, slamming the rest of the bottle of Pedialyte and holding onto the prep table as if for dear life, “but I think I may be dying. I think I may need you to call me an ambulance.”

Elijah swung his chair around and strode towards the chef. He took the sunglasses Greyson had placed on his face the moment he walked inside the bright kitchen and tossed them across the room. He regarded the chef with an annoyance usually reserved for parents of crying toddlers at Disneyland.

“Your drinking antics, Grey, are what most people would describe as ‘a you problem’. You decide to get unreasonably wasted and then come in to prep one of the biggest dinners of your career? That’s a you problem. I don’t want to hear it. The only thing I want to hear is your knife going into and out of different types of food.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to hear about the incredibly hot guy I hooked up with last night?” Greyson asked, a smile blooming at his lips. Elijah, despite himself, felt his eyebrows raise halfway up his face.

“But you haven’t slept with anyone in months,” he said, annoyed at himself for taking the bait but too curious to stop himself from saying anything. “I thought you were on a self-imposed time-out?”

Greyson shrugged, pushed his hair into a bun at the top of his head, and secured it with an elastic. “I was,” he said. “But - and you’re not going to believe this, but it’s true – I am finally feeling… I dunno. Healed?”

“Healed?” Elijah asked, snorting. “I think you’ve been taking too many hot yoga classes. Like, spiritually healed?”

Greyson tipped his head back and forth, considering. “Kind of,” he said. “Like… ready. Moved on from Collin. Prepared to get back out there for real, not in a self-punishing way.”

Elijah whistled, long and low. “Wow,” he said, patting Greyson’s back. “Well, congrats, man. A little over a year and you’re finally back on your feet. That’s actually quite impressive.”

“Thanks,” Greyson laughed, shoving Elijah playfully. “I was also really drunk and you know nothing stops drunk-Greyson when he decides he’s going to sleep with someone.”

“There it is,” Elijah said, rolling his eyes and laughing. “So… tell me about him. Did you get his name?”

Greyson dead-panned his boss as he pulled knives out of his bag and cracked his neck. “Yes, I got his name, Elijah. That’s what healed people do, they get people’s names before sleeping with them, and I am, as previously stated, healed.”

Elijah flipped the chef off lazily, non-committal. “Well, out with it then,” he said. “What’s his name? Tell me about the night.”

“His name is Reed Parker, and we fucked til the sun came out,” Greyson said simply, laughing at his own gregariousness. He looked up when he realized that Elijah wasn’t laughing – in fact, his face had gone stark-white. “What?”

“Reed Parker?” Elijah asked, pulling out his phone. “You’re sure that’s his name?”

“Umm, according to him at least, yeah,” Greyson said, unwrapping a pan with a cleaned striploin in it. “Why, do you know him?”

“No,” Elijah said, pushing his phone towards Greyson. “But if that’s him, we’re going to know him in two days.”

Greyson looked down at the phone and felt the wave of nausea he’d been holding back all morning wash over him – oh. Oh, no.

Pulled up on Elijah’s phone was an Instagram post from The Foodie Society – a group of well-acclaimed food critics and writers in the city. The group that was hosting a dinner at Elliot’s in two days. The group that would likely be the deciding factor in whether Greyson got nominated for a James Beard award this year.

We are so excited to announce Reed Parker, writer of the extremely popular food blog, ‘Eat Like You Mean It’, as our newest Foodie Society member! Reed has been a prolific writer and food critic in the city for nearly five years, and we are so delighted to have him aboard. Can’t wait to collaborate with you, Reed!

Above the blurb was a photo of – undoubtedly – the man that Greyson had slept with the night before. He looked markedly healthier in the photo, and his hair was a little longer, but there wasn’t any was it wasn’t him. Greyson swallowed hard.

“Oh… shit,” Greyson muttered, lowering himself to the floor. “Oh, no.”

“Maybe he was drunk, too?” Elijah said, the panic clear in his voice. “Maybe he won’t remember?” Elijah kneeled down next to Greyson, trying to console him. “Hey, Grey, it’s alright. Obviously you guys didn’t know who the other one was. It’s not like he’s going to think you slept with him to get the nomination. It was just drunk sex. Right?”

“He gave me an out,” Greyson muttered, shaking his head. He looked up at Elijah, eyes wild. “Maybe he did know, or maybe he figured it out on the walk back to his place, because he gave me a fuckin’ out.”

“What do you mean?” Elijah asked, pulling Greyson back to his feet. The chef stood, but placed his head in his hands and his elbows on the prep table, as if to steady himself.

“He was getting over some sort of sickness, and he said he’d understand if I didn’t want to stay. He basically told me to get out and I just… fuck. I told him I didn’t care, and I stayed the night. Shit. I’m never going to get nominated now. There’s no fucking way.” Greyson rubbed both hands down his face and shook his head in disbelief. “I fucked myself.”

“Greyson,” Elijah said, taking his friend’s chin and lifting it so their eyes met. “You didn’t fuck yourself. Okay? He didn’t know it was you. It was a mistake, and also he’s brand new there, it’s not like he’s THE deciding factor. Just – wait, did you say he was sick?”

Greyson, his chin still in Elijah’s fingers, looked away from his boss with just his eyes. “Uhh… I mean, yeah, kind of, I guess. He had some sort of cold, I think.”

“You purposely slept with someone who was sick three days before this huge dinner?”

“Umm… did I mention I was really drunk?”

Elijah sighed loudly and threw his hands in the air. “Never a dull fuckin’ moment with you, is there?” he mumbled, storming into the office and pillaging through their medicine cabinet. He returned a moment later with Emergen-C and Airborne in his hands. “Take those.”

“Yes, sir,” Greyson muttered, pulling them to his side of the table. “Sorry.”

“I think it’s crazy that out of all the millions of people you probably saw yesterday, the one you just so happened to pick is a food writer who could decide your future fate who also had a fucking cold. There wasn’t a single other person in the city you could sleep with?”

“Apparently not,” Greyson muttered, pouring Emergen-C into his water bottle. Elijah took a deep breath before continuing.

“Let’s just… let’s try to get through the next couple days,” he said, heading back to the office. “I am glad you want to get back out there,” he continued from afar, “just maybe give them a cursory Google before you bang them next time. Okay?”

Greyson, completely deflated, just nodded. He swallowed and thought he could already feel a twinge of a sore throat, which would just figure. His dick had sealed his fate. Fuck.

***

Tuesday, May 12

NEW MESSAGE

Matt

3:53pm

r u almost back??? idk how much longer I can handle them at each others throats.

Mark

3:58pm

On my way back now! Are they at each other’s throats again?? I thought they were over it..

Matt

3:59pm

has elijah ever REALLY been over smthn..? & greyson’s going down fast af so hes pissy.

Mark

4:02pm

It seemed like he was in the downward slide when I left...ugh. ok, I’ll be back in 15!

“We are ndot,” Greyson said from behind his sous chef, “at each other’s throats.”

Matt jumped at the sound of his boss’s voice and quickly clicked his phone screen off. “Don’t read my private texts, Chef, that’s rude.”

Greyson shrugged and pulled a tissue out of the box on the desk next to Matt. “Don’t talk shit about your boss and you don’t have to worry about mbe being ruuhh – huh! Hh...IGTSZHH-ue! Hh-NTSHZH-ue!” Greyson crumpled into the jacket he’d pulled over his chef’s coat to sneeze. His hair fell over his face, blocking the grimace he hid as he sucked in through his nose.

“Bless you, moron,” Elijah called from the dining room. Greyson rolled his eyes so hard he felt it splinter in his head. Matt winced when he saw Greyson shudder with pain, and stood from the desk.

“The prep sheets for tomorrow are all written, Chef, tell me how I can help you,” he said, guiding Greyson into the chair. Greyson allowed himself to be sat down, despite his better judgment.

“I feel pretty good about -”

“You feel pretty good? Is that a joke?” Elijah asked, pushing through the swinging kitchen doors and leaning on the office door frame. Greyson gave his boss the dirtiest look he could muster and turned back to Matt without a word to his boss.

“I feel confident about the first three courses for tomborrow’s dinner, but the steak and dessert I feel like we’re way behind. Plus I have ndo idea how the guys are looking for service tondight, so pick which one of those you’d rather tackle and I’ll – hhuh! Hh...HUHESTZHH-ue! Fuck, snrf.” Greyson grabbed another tissue and blew his nose before finishing. “I’ll do the other onde.”

Matt nodded while Elijah stood wordlessly in the doorway. “I’ll get with the guys and help them with tonight, make sure it goes smooth,” he said. Greyson nodded back and his sous looked away and scurried towards the line. Elijah, in stark contrast, pushed past Greyson and sat at the other end of their shared desk, unwilling to look away from the mess that was the executive chef.

“How ya feeling?” he asked finally. Greyson pulled another tissue out of the box just in time.

“HRTSHH-ue!” he sneezed into the tissue and let a tickling flurry of coughs escape as well. Elijah sighed, looked into the kitchen, and reached past Greyson to shut the door to their office.

“How are you feeling,” he asked again. “Seriously.”

Greyson sighed wheezily and pulled a hand down his face. “Honestly?” he said, looking Elijah in the eye, “like fuckin’ shit.”

Elijah sighed as well. “You seemed okay when you came in this morning,” he said, as though it mattered.

“I felt okay this mborning,” Greyson admitted. “I mean, I felt like it was coming but I definitely didn’t feel this… shitty.” He shrugged. “It just… I don’t kndow. Hit mbe out of nowhere.”

Elijah nodded. “I mean, if you want to leave so you’re good for tomorrow, you know I’ll understand.” Greyson just scoffed.

“I have so mbuch shit to do before tomborrow,” he said, sucking in through his nose and coughing again. “There’s ndo way in hell.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Elijah sighed. “Fuck, Greyson. I’m really sorry.” He looked up at his friend, the true pity evident on his face. “I know how important this dinner is to you. It’s still going to be great, okay? If you need to par it down, do it. It’s not like they know what’s on the menu til tomorrow. I’m cutting off reservations tonight so you can go home early, okay? We’re going to make this work.”

Greyson had to set his jaw to keep from tearing up. “It’s mby own damn fault,” he said. “Ndo need to baby mbe – hh...HTSHH-ue! HRTSHH! NTSHH! Huh! Huhhh-ETSZHHH-uee!” Greyson collapsed into his own lap, lapsed into coughs again. Elijah handed him a water bottle, which he took the cap off of while wiping his nose with the other hand.

“Can we go back to you being a dick to mbe?” Greyson asked, his voice rough. “That I can handle.”

Elijah pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Sure, Chef. Get your lazy ass up and start prepping,” he joked, pushing Greyson’s arm lightly. “Sitting is for the weak.”

Greyson smirked, an attempt at a laugh that wouldn’t make him cough. “Thanks, Lij,” he said. “Let’s get this stupid fuckigg show on the road.”

***

Course One

Compressed Cantaloupe

tarragon | smoked sea salt | brown butter crumble

Reed sat in the cushy, velvet chair and attempted to make himself comfortable. He hoped beyond hope that this dinner would go as quickly as humanly possible.

After their little rendevouz at the club, of course Reed had looked Greyson up; in this day and age, who wouldn’t look up their previous night’s partner, if only to make sure they weren’t some sort of psycho killer. And after he looked him up, of course he realized that oh. It was that Greyson Abbott. The same one whose food he was about to be poised in front of. The one who he and his fellow writers gathered around this table were tasked with deciding whether or not he was worthy of a Beard nod.

Of course.

Reed shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. The other writers had started talking immediately and, this being his first dinner with them, he was feeling awkward and left out. He really could have used the distraction of talking about their craft, but apparently he would have to earn a word tossed in his direction. This was going to be a long evening.

At least the restaurant is beautiful, Reed thought to himself. He’d never been to Elliot’s before, and now he was kicking himself for it. The wrap-around bar, the view of the park, the chandeliers… everything was gorgeous. He just wished he wasn’t here with these people, under the circumstance that his fling was in the kitchen plating up. That put a bit of a damper on things.

“Good evening,” a husky voice came from the head of the table, and Reed whipped his head to see a gorgeous plate of food placed in front of him, and the absolute god of a man he’d slept with a few days before standing just feet from him. Reed swallowed hard.

“I’mb Greyson,” Greyson said, and Reed immediately clocked the congestion in his voice. So you did give him that cold. Asshole, Reed chided himself. Greyson attempted to clear his throat before continuing.

“If you’ll excuse mby voice, I’mb at the tail end of a cold,” he continued, and Reed felt his face flame. Tail end, he thought. Yeah, sure.

“Our first course is compressed cantaloupe,” Greyson said. “I hope you enjoy. Pardon mbe, I have to get back to screaming at mby cooks.”

The group laughed in earnest as the chef walked away. Reed, too embarrassed to even look at the other writers, just picked up his fork and gathered a bite on it. He stuck it in his mouth and closed his eyes.

Christ, Reed thought, he cooks as well as he fucks.

Course Two

Hamachi

yuzu pearls | grapefruit | coconut crème

“I swear to God, Mbatt, what is goigg on?” Greyson yelled the moment he walked back into the kitchen. “We’re already behind, and none of the hamachi is on the plates yet? Can we please get it the fuck together che – ehh! HhITSZHH-uh! HRITSZHH-ue!”

Greyson yanked his chef’s coat over his nose and mouth and ducked away from the plates. The cooks called, “Bless, Chef,” and Elijah came up behind him with Sudafed – “The good shit, from behind the pharmacist counter,” he’d promised Greyson earlier, when he made an emergency trip to Walgreens for medicine – and popped two into his hand.

“I just took two,” Greyson croaked, sucking in through his nose.

“Well, it sounds like they’ve already worn off,” Elijah countered. Greyson swallowed the pills and coughed. “Is he out there?”

“Of course he’s out there, Lij, did you think he’d cancel because of mbe?” Greyson said, washing his hands and heading towards the pass to place hamachi on plates. “Like you said, hopefully he doesn’t remember.”

“Hard to forget a giant, loud, blonde buffoon who’s sporting the cold you just got over,” Elijah murmured, and Greyson flipped him off. “Just saying,” Elijah said.

“I don’t have timbe to think about him,” Greyson said, swallowing painfully. “I can’t think about anything but this.”

Elijah nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “Let me jump in with the pearls.”

Course Three

Lamb Lollipop

harissa | mint chutney | bbq ‘chip’

“Pretty incredible, right?”

These were the first words uttered to Reed all night, said moments after the third course was placed in front of him and seconds after Greyson disappeared back into the kitchen. Reed could see him dip into an elbow to sneeze before he made it back to the kitchen. He cringed; poor guy. This was all his fault.

“Reed?”

The writer who’d spoken to him waved a hand in front of his face to snap him out of his stupor. Reed pulled his head back to the table and smiled. “Really incredible,” he said. “I mean, this guy has talent.”

“For sure,” the other writer said. “I mean, he’s been hoping for a Beard nod for years.”

“Yeah?” Reed asked, hungry for any bit of lore he could get about Greyson. The other writer dug into his lamb as he nodded.

“About five years,” he said. “The menu is deemed as one of the best in the city, and he changes it every single day. I mean, the guy’s an animal.”

Reed nodded slowly. He could only imagine how hard Greyson had worked, how nervous he was, especially with Reed's stupid ass sitting here to judge him. Especially when Greyson was sick as a dog.

“That he is,” Reed said, and he took another incredible bite.

Course Four

Rutabaga Tart

fennel | feta | cured egg yolk

“Matt can put these on the plates, Chef,” Elijah said, putting a hand on Greyson’s back. “Take a quick break before you have to talk to them again. Drink some water. Blow your nose.”

Greyson shook his head, pushed the flop sweat off his forehead. “This is mby shot. These are mby plates,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. “I’mb here until the end.”

Elijah pressed his lips together and flashed Matt a look. The sous chef just raised his eyebrows and gave a little shrug. Once Greyson was like this… well, there was certainly no arguing with him.

“Okay,” Elijah said. “I’ll make you some tea, then.”

“Thank you, Lij,” Greyson managed, before ducking under the pass to sneeze into the collar of his chef’s coat. “God, fuck, I’mb gonna have to throw this thing away after this.”

“More like burn it,” Matt countered, prompting the first laugh from Greyson all evening.

“Burn it is right,” Greyson said. “HHITSZHH-ue!”

Course Five

Striploin

deconstructed bearnaise | white asparagus | duxelle

The fifth course was placed in front of them, and the writers looked up expectantly at Greyson.

“Forgive mbe,” Greyson said, his voice strained to a whisper. “I’ve yelled mbyself out in the kitchen, so mby number-two will introduce your last two courses.”

The writers tutted or laughed and looked over towards the sous chef – everyone except Reed. Reed was staring at Greyson, hoping he could hear his thoughts. I’m sorry you’re sick. I’m sorry I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

The sous finished the description and the writers began to eat once again. Reed was sure he could hear the younger chef say to Greyson, “Just one more, Chef,” as they walked back to the kitchen.

Reed sighed and took a bite of his steak. He closed his eyes; perfection.

He did not deserve to be here.

Course Six

Matcha Milk Bombe

coffee | pastry crumb

Greyson placed the final pastry onto the final plate and turned away to cough as the servers brought his final plate of food to the critics. He felt like he was attending his own funeral.

“I don’t think I can go out there again, Lij,” Greyson said, shaking his head and crouching down on the ground. “I can’t look at all of themb, I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”

“You haven’t embarrassed yourself at all, Grey,” Elijah promised, pushing Greyson’s sweaty hair out of his face. “But I understand if you’re too exhausted. I’ll go out for the last one, thank them all for being here.”

“Please,” Greyson said. Elijah nodded, stood, and left the kitchen to meet the writers, while Matt nodded towards the office.

“Go,” he said to his boss. “Sit. You did it.”

Greyson shook his head. “Gotta clean mbyself up first,” he said, standing and moving towards the kitchen doors. “I’mb using the damn guest bathroom, fuck those pretentious assholes.”

Matt laughed in earnest. “You’ve earned it for sure, Chef.”

Greyson slipped into the guest bathroom, hoping no one saw him, and locked himself in a stall. Finally, he sat down and let himself go.

“HITSHH-ue!” Greyson sneezed into the open, then quickly grabbed a handful of toilet paper to keep from becoming the restaurant’s biggest biohazard. “HTTSHH! IIITZSCHUE! Huh! Hh…. huh, huhhh… huhhETSZHHH-ue! Huh! HRRRSHHH! Fuuuck mbe.” Greyson blew his nose, beyond exhaustion. He felt like shit. He knew he looked like shit. He’d put out shit food, he’d been in a shit mood… this whole thing was just… shit.

Finally, feeling a little more cleared out, Greyson flushed the toilet paper and unlocked the stall. When he exited, he nearly jumped out of his skin. There, in the doorway, was his fling - Reed.

“Jesus,” Greyson said, placing a hand on his chest. “Give a guy a fuckin’ heart attack.”

Reed shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, then let Greyson by to wash his hands. “Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to scare you. Bless you. By the way.”

Greyson huffed out a laugh. “Thangks,” he said, drying his hands. “Sombe cold you’re passing around town. Shouldn’t you be finishing your meal? Or was it so bad you’re here to hock it back up?”

“It was incredible,” Reed said earnestly. “Truly, Greyson. Thank you. I… I’m sorry. For being here, for getting you sick, I – I didn’t know that this place was… um… yours.”

“Mmm, more Elijah’s than mbine,” Greyson mumbled, looking away from Reed’s face. “But, uh… thank you. Glad you enjoyed. Hopefully it's ndot for nothing.”

"I don't think it will be. They all had nothing but good things to say. I'm just the grunt, but I mean...you have my vote. You're... You're incredible," Reed said, the words escaping his mouth before he could even consider what he was saying.

Greyson tried to hide a small smile by looking down. They both stood awkwardly until Greyson cleared his throat. “I, uh… better get back to mby guys,” he said, starting towards the door.

“I had an amazing time the other night,” Reed blurted out suddenly. “I, um… I haven’t stopped thinking about it, actually.”

Greyson smirked, the tension finally broken. “Yeah?” he asked. Reed nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “You’re… you’re hard to shake.”

Greyson took a step closer to Reed, looking him in the eye now. He sniffled, rubbed his nose, and crossed his arms, a smile dancing on his lips. “Who are you, Reed Parker?” he asked. Reed’s face flushed bright red.

“I – I don’t know what you mean. I’m a food writer.”

“Mmm,” Greyson nodded. “Well, Reed the food writer who can’t get mbe out of his mind, at the moment I’m a bit, uh… incapacitated. But,” Greyson pulled a Sharpie out of his coat’s side pocket and grabbed Reed’s hand, “if I’m still rattling around in your brain in a few days… give mbe a call.” Greyson coughed into his shoulder, capped the Sharpie, and gave Reed a little smile.

“I will,” Reed said, biting his cheek. “Thank you. For, um… dinner.”

Greyson paused, thinking, then took a bold step towards Reed, grabbed his chin in his hand, and planted a deep kiss on his lips. “It was my pleasure,” he said, and stepped out of the room.

Reed stood, flushed and breathless, for a moment. The kiss sat, swelling his lips, sweeter than any dessert he’d ever had; he looked at the number on his hand, felt his heart catch in his throat.

Greyson Abbott, he thought, looking towards the bathroom door. Holy shit.

[variousqueerthings]

obsessively detailed DNIs and lack of good faith reading of strangers' words and discussing the rights to exclude xyz for being too weird for your (public) space and this person reblogged a post from a person who follows a person who follows a person who's suspect and righteous anger over any and every misstep of performance and waiting to catch people out and complete lack of trust and...

are you guys... happy?

do you have people around you that form a community? people who aren't carbon copies of yourself or online yes men? do you know people who aren't your age/gender/race/ethnicity/body/brain/don't have the same financial background, educational story, etc?

not all of these all at once all at the same time, but do you go outside your head, is what I mean?

do you remember that other people are people? have you had the opportunity to train yourself to have grace for the fact that everyone has faults and blindspots and perspectives that come from a life led differently, and that to hear and take in those differences make you richer, more understanding, less shut off?

are you able to discuss things while understanding that there is a middle ground? do you think anger and despair are the only emotions worth accessing in order to be a "good" person?

do you have people around you that aren't like you?

are you happy?

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[yawneneteyam]

gorgeous (7) — look at your face.

— GORGEOUS, an avatar smau ( by yawneneteyam ) masterlist

*dark mode = y/n light mode = neteyam*

— gorgeous, look at your face !

y/n didn't really want to meet up with neteyam today, still revelling in her heartbreak from the night before. she had never been able to handle rejection well, especially not from the man she had been slightly obsessing over for the past month almost. she felt like the thrill had expired, that life had come to give her a rude wake up call and neteyam friend zoning her was the alarm.

she knew that it would be unfair to not study with neteyam just because of her silly crush, so she picked herself up, brushed herself off and headed to the library to meet neteyam.

he could tell that something was off with y/n. she wasn't smiling as much as usual, her cheeks were blushing like they usually did when they spoke. she seemed less invested in their conversations today, as if today was a chore for her- maybe it was.

"are you feeling okay?" he couldn't help his curiosity. y/n only looked up briefly to meet his eyes before looking back down at her notebook.

"yeah," she nodded with pursed lips, "just tired," a lie.

"do you feel sick still?" he was concerned, neteyam knew that she was in a bad state last night- he wondered if she was feeling worse throughout the day. he knew hangovers could come with vengeance.

"uh, yeah a little bit," y/n shrugged it off.

that was how they sat for the next hour. neteyam trying his best to speak to y/n, her responding with short sentences. neteyam was lots of things, beautiful, kind and completely oblivious. so he chalked her bad mood up to drinking too much the night before and a sore stomach or pounding headache.

"neteyam!" y/n couldn't help but turn around upon hearing such a loud voice in a quiet space. a'korai walked over to the pair at the table.

"hey," neteyam kept his voice down still, considerate of their environment, "what's up?"

"just came over to see you," she smiled. y/n had never seen this girl before, but they way she ignored her presence already had her first impressions ruined. neteyam noticed her ignorance towards y/n, so he tried to do what he did best- make peace.

"a'korai, this is y/n" neteyam smiled. a'korai finally shot a glance in y/n's direction.

"hi," she smiled briefly.. and that was it, she was back talking to neteyam. y/n listened to their conversation with a sigh, tapping her pencil on the table impatiently, waiting for this random girl to get the hint. it was already bad having to see neteyam after being friend zoned by him, but to watch some pretty girl throw herself all over him was a punch to the face.

"it's getting late," y/n interrupted getting up from her seat, "I better go get dinner from the hall before they pack it away," she shoved her things away into her backpack. neteyam looked up at y/n with an apologetic gaze, knowing they didn't get as much done as they would've liked. "see you later, neteyam" she walked away.

neteyam sighed with his eyes closed, y/n had already walked away before he could even say goodbye to her. left with a'korai talking to him when he wished it was another.

— gorgeous, look at your face ! okay we're back!! trying to do daily-ish updates, so every day or every other day a update will be posted for you guys!! idk if anyone actually reads my lil notes at the end, but thats okay! ive also put out a poll about blurring y/n's face and currently blurring is winning, so thats what I've done for this chapter! go vote if you want a say!

[bonesandthebees]

man ive spent the past few hours going over everything (i just found out abt this, ironically, cus of el's mod post in your discord lol) and honestly just fuckkkkk himmm.

im so mad abt it. like how could he fucking do that. not only to us, his fans, but to his friends????? how do people just. idk i just dont get how people can do that, look at their actions and go "yeah that was measured and not fucked up"

feel free to ignore this but i wanna say thank you for being open and honest abt this situation and your thoughts. im hoping we as a community can learn to grieve 🩵

and any way your writing turns know you'll have people behind you the whole way

ok real talk abuse is a complicated thing. often times abusers don't even realize they're abusing someone. this is in NO WAY a defense of abusers and certainly not a defense of wilbur fucking soot, but it is important to note. abusers are not wholly evil and terrible people. they are human beings who often don't realize the degree of harm they're causing someone else, either just through being too self-centered to notice, or because they're so blinded by their reasoning for their own actions they think whatever they're doing is justified, or they think they could never be an abuser because they're not trying to hurt the person they love.

I do think any human being can be redeemed, including abusers (with the caveat that no matter what a victim is never obligated to forgive their abuser no matter how much work they've done to redeem themselves), but the first step involves actually recognizing what you did and owning up to it. wilbur clearly cannot own up to what he's done. so fuck him for that. the therapy has clearly done jack shit.

anyway, sorry, tangent over. I'm honestly just so glad to hear how much my asks have been helping people. more than anything I just love this community and want to offer advice where I can, or offer comfort where I can't. just to remind everyone that we're not alone in this.

I'm so lucky to have readers like you guys <3

[junkyardstrash]

my thoughts on the new sleep token masks and what's next:

the boys have been hinting at this type of change for a while now, iii's paint slowly turning red and iv and ii taking off their masks at the show just before wembley. I think thr new album will be more metal and overall more heavy, similar to their songs vore and gods.

I don't think these changes are necessarily meant to be seen as a part of the TMBTE cycle, they quite literally said "a new era" on each of their posts, these masks are hinting at and showing us what to expect for the next era. Sleep Token is very deliberate with what they choose to do appearance wise and their lore so although these masks are a very drastic change, it's all part of the plan.

NOW for lore.... TPWBYT and Sundowning were kinda defeat albums, Vessel being at his lowest while TMBTE is a redemption album, Vessel taking control back in his life from Sleep and his insecurities/past faults. that being said- the next album will probably be Sleep fighting Vessel back. I think what's happening is that Sleep takes different forms of Vessels insecurities and past faults so Sleep is using this to their advantage, using the other vessels (ii, iii, and iv) as their puppets. the toxic back and forth cycle between Sleep and Vessel is ending so Sleep is taking the manipulation up a notch. the new masks look very intimidating and it's all deliberate, Sleep is possessing the other vessels and shaping them into Vessels (i) fears as a way to get to Vessel (i), I mean, what would be a better way to get to Vessel if not to use the band as a way to get to him?

people say the masks clash too much and they don't look consistent but I think that's exactly what's supposed to happen. Sleep is using ii, iii and iv as Vessels INDIVIDUAL insecurities. Vessel sees the others and its a mirror of his faults. or maybe they quite literally wanted to look more individual rather than have the same look as one another 🤷‍♀️

the next album will be like a videogame boss fight between Vessel and sleep

some other stuff I noticed and some more theories. do these mean anything? who knows! this is just me rambling:

Vessel has runes written all over his body, I couldn't exactly make out what they say but just going off the fact that it's runes- it can either be 1. a protection barrier from Sleep or 2. another way that Sleep is slowly taking over vessel

it seems like the mouths on the masks are getting wider and wider in order from ii, iv, iii, and then Vessel. while all the others have the band sigil across their eyes, ii is the only one who has it across his mouth. considering ii is the second vessel and Sleep is struggling to control Vessel(i), what if theyre going for ii? using him as the main vessel? he also imo has the most intimidating looking mask out of everyone so...

or maybe iii is gonna get a mic and thats why his mask is open HEHE

my sister pointed this one out- iii had gold on his hands as he was transitioning to the red body paint and as we all know, iii and iv are very touchy on stage, iii always lifting ivs mask up, them kissing, etc etc. now iv has gold on his mask, what if iiis gold paint from his hands transferred to ivs mask? what would this mean? IDK maybe it's another Sleep tactic or we're looking too much into it lmao

iv also has Vessels leg wraps on his arm? what's up with that?

ANYWAYS lmk your thoughts, my mind is going crazy rn and I think people are taking the mask changes at face value rather than thinking about why they look the way they do now and how it fits in the lore

[actualbird]

confession: i refrained from talking about It here (though i livetweeted the ordeal on my priv lsbdfsdlf) but now that things have calmed down, i wanted to share what's happened

from february 4 to february 12 of 2024, i experienced the most heartbreaking and heart wrenching week of my life. my mother tried to commit suicide several times, and the days were first spent taking care of her while in an overdosed state while she said over and over that she wanted to die before i finally broke and begged her to go to the hospital. up until that point, i was looking after her on my own. i was feeding her, getting her to sit up to drink water, walking her to the bathroom, checking if she was still breathing, and enduring it when she got mad at me and told me she was “fine.” i was hanging on by a thin thread. i’ve always been the house’s caretaker—always known as the pragmatic and responsible one—but this was more than I could ever handle.

“i don’t know how to help anymore,” i told my older sister when i myself had my own breakdown on the night of my mother’s hospitalization. as i hyperventilated and sobbed, the feeling of helplessness shook my body and my words. “i can’t help anymore.”

and then something really wonderful happened: people came and helped

when news got out of my mother's attempts, suddenly my phone was blowing up with texts and messages from people i didnt know. they were her friends: old friends from college, friends from the university she teaches at, her family from the province. they were all asking me and my siblings if they could help with anything: driving, food, money, emotional support. her family in the province drove hours from the province to meet us in the city just to lend a hand in keeping us calm. her friends from the university were the ones who drove her to the hospital and helped us out with a loan and financial aid for the ER bills.

my brother who lives in japan flew in back to the philippines despite having an academic conference just to help. his girlfriend drove him from the airport to the hospital despite having to study for an exam. my older sister's boyfriend came over just to buy us all donuts and food to make sure we were all eating while looking after everything. my girlfriend bought my sisters and i trinkets from a convention just to make us smile during these hard times, and she kept reminding me to sleep and eat and drink and take my meds. my online friends who knew were messaging me asking if i was okay, if i wanted to see some bird posts for serotonin or if i needed somebody to vent to or even to help with money too. hell, even my coworkers asked me if i was okay. they asked about my mom, and i told them, but then my supervisor asked "but how are YOU?" and i burst into tears

all this reminds me of that weird "discourse" i see around about how youre not supposed to ask friends for help because we're all adults and. i am 24. and in these weeks, i felt more like a helpless child than ive ever felt in my life

and yet

people came and helped

when youre needed, youre needed

and we didnt even ask. they just....showed up.

everybody we knew—friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family—they all showed up when we needed them

idk. i guess in this world it's really easy to feel really alone. i sure did. but youre really really not. i had no idea how many people were looking out for us, but they're here. they were here for us. ive lost count of how many people came to help, and isnt that a beautiful thing. i lost count of how many people helped

[n7punk]

i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

[getonite]

hiiii! seen a couple of people do this, plus i realized i don't appreciate my mutuals as much as i should. and since the year is ending (literally today), i thought i'd appreciate y'all for a lil bit.

→ if the tagging irritated you, i apologize 🙏🏾. if i missed you, lmk, i was 100% half asleep while making this! (this is actually so embarrassing ngl. but i luv yall 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : avian) → @sensivs

starting off with my pookie with a beautiful (horny) brain. im dead fucking serious i have zero idea how we became mutuals (🧍🏾‍♂️). i just remembering talking to you one day, and the we were having full conversations in dms lmaoo. an emoji ring, helios, an unborn baby (??), and multiple fic ideas...now we're at the end of the year. i really appreciate you and all of your chaotic energy, it made me laugh! and all of your prompts are immaculate (🤌🏽). i await the days you post more fics or drabbles so i can support you the way you have me! :) luv u pooks, i def wanna ramble u more about hcs!

→ (i sound like im about to die omg)

(🎧 : snail/seraph) → @flimsyichigo

again, zero fucking idea when we became mutuals (i don't remember shit). we don't talk too often but i be seein you likeing my horrendously down bad and chaotic thoughts...i appreciate you bro (🙏🏾). i love your fluffy blue lock sruff, and your overall vibes are (yes, through the screen) amazing! thank you for dealing with my bullshit.

→ (as i type this, i realize just how many mutuals i have jeez, (half of which i barely talk to but still))

(🎧 : ame) → @pastelclovds

ameeeee, number 1 ive always loved your writing (iterally giggling and kicking my feet as i press the like button). your themes r so fucking gorgeous omg. we don't talk as often, but i love when we do interact. i hope we can more (im just easily embarrassed).

→ (i sound like a teenager leaving a love letter in a locker. omggggg)

(🎧 : ace ) → @acefantasyy

another person who puts up with my horrendously down bad bullshit takes. i applaude you for dealing with my ass lmaoo. but, on another note, i smile when i see you in my notes (no, i didn't originally mean that 2 b a joke). i really appreciate the reply you made when i went on a little break, thank you! i hope you continue to deal me, and i hope we interact more!

→ (i really gotta start talkin 2 yall more)

(🎧 : riri) → @pynkkgeto

we're friends irl. i don't have 2 say shit 4 u (luv uuu 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : rome) → @satocidal

yet another person who delt with my nonsense lol. you're quite busy, so you won't see this for a second. but thank you for being awesome and making me laugh with your naobito jokes. thank for the reply you left when i was the one going on break. hope all goes well for you!

(🎧 : idk ur name TvT) → @infrunamie

i feel so bad omg. but i wanted to appreciate your writing for a sec. whether its a drabble, headcanons, a fic, or just 100 words, your brain is miraculous when you write cuz it always leads to me wanted more. seriously, i love it. i was actually shocked you followed me, literally looked up to your writing ong (🙏🏾). i love it when you show up in my notes even if it's just a like. thank you for your reply when i went on break, trust, all of them got me through those shitty ass exams! ty!

→ (im sure this isn't what my therapist meant by being outgoing but im gunna do ts anyway)

(🎧 : spirit) → @spiritfrvr

literally the best vibes on earth i swear. your blog is like a fluffy hug omg. and (imo), you kinda bring that over to other blogs. i'd really like to talk to you more and ramble about random shit! :)

(🎧 : arlan) → @asuyaka

your drabbles r so cuuutee! i love them so much omg. especially the taking care of suguru one! i was surprised you liked my writing sm, and i love yours the same! i really appreciate the little reply under the break post and the christmas tree! seeing notifs of u makes me smile!

(🎧 : qi) → @yaekiss

i don't think we've been mutuals for too long, but omg we reeally should speak more!! i loved your message on the christmas tree! i love the vibe and look of your blog omg. i hope we can interact more!

(🎧 : juno) → @arlertdarling

hi junooo! ty for the message on my christmas tree, and i agree! we really should interact more! you seem like a realllly cool person, plus im on my fucking knees for your writing, dead serious. hope we can talk more, i hope you have a great 2024!

→ (srsly, y tf do i sound like im moving far away or smth TvT)

(🎧 : najma) → @honeybleed

ilysm ong. number one, we cousins (😔✊🏾; im joking pls help), number two, your theme was downright gorgeous (still is), number three, your writing it delicious. i haven't had too much time lately, buuut, i love how you post content that isn't completely smut (as a smut blog that fails at angst lol). its nice to get a break and see fluffy or angsty stuff in the tags instead of the same repeated material. you know you what you like and you stand firm in what you say (i need 2 b more like u fr), and your overall vibes are amazing! i love seeing your anime takes omg. i hope we can interact more in 2024!

→ (that kinda rhymed...and unrelated, but im listening to the mean girls soundtrack or 4 hours of sleep writing this)

(🎧 : yoru) → @dilfverz

number one, thank you for the messege on my christmas tree. number two, your so cool (😭). i love your themes and your writing, how you interact with ppl and anons is funny lol. literally look up to your writing ngl. i super appreciate your for explaining genshin impact to me, cuz im definitely not playing that damn game lol. your reblogs and likes in my notes make me wanna cry ngl. thank you for being so cool! (🙏🏾)

→ (am i over using emojis? i am so tired omg)

(🎧 : sy) → @wrizzesley

we just became mutuals like a week ago lmaoo. but i love your writing so much. and your themes?!?! (:O). i know damn well that shit is time consuming and exhausting, i applaud you, i could never lol. but anyway, i hope we can interact more in this new year. i think your really cool!

(🎧 : astro? idk im so sorry) → @astroknottt

i love your writing holy fuck. but other than that, i love it when you reblog my stuff! esp with those little comments, they've given me a bunch of motivation. and seeing you write such toe curling shit, that gives me motivation too! hope we can interact some more in the new year!

→ (pls ignore my silent pleas for help in these notes, but my vision is wonky. i promise im going to sleep in a second)

(🎧 : ) → @naee0

your probably locked out of tumblr again lol. but if you see this, thank you for your chaotic energy! and even if it was one sentence, what you sent on thr break post, i really appreciate it! even if you or me aren't on tumblr much, i hope we can interact a bit more! you're pretty cool! and i loved those drabbles. i hope your doing great!

PRODUCER MESSEGE: "i think that was all. again, if i missed you, please lmk. i might have been blind (my eyes prolly look like that squidward meme). but i appreciate all of you! thank you, and pls dont hate me 🙏🏾"

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e4 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

it's been a busy week since last thursday and shit's only gonna get busier for me after tomorrow so hopefully i can get through these two episodes out before i go to bed lol!!! anyway once again these posts are just me rambling so i can process the insane amount of information in these episodes and if u want to read them too that's fine.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

rip everyone who wanted homoerotic sword fighting in the gentebeard reunion. have a headbutt as a consolation prize.

obsessed with stede holding raw room-temperature meat against his bruised face bc that's not even a little bit how that works. i love this show.

ok so jim saying "he'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested" in response to stede saying ed needs to regain his strength actually gives some pretty good context to why they want ed of the ship so bad. bc they DID fully try to kill ed and now he's here and alive and like. if i were jim i would be pretty worried abt ed holding a grudge abt that.

wont lie stede being like "we dont just banish people, that's not us!" makes me thinkg abt how they fully banished izzy from the ship in e6. i mean technically izzy banished himself on accident but. lol.

also izzy's absence in this scene indicating he is not yet considered part of the entire crew

roach: i need that steak back, it's dinner stede: (pulling the steak away) oh, right fang: maybe let's put the banishment to a vote? stede: (steak back on his face, apparently having forgotten he was literally just about to give the meat to roach) aw do we have to :(

ed chained to the ship is doing. a lot for me. i wont lie.

buttons saying he's been to the gravy basket a few times... how many times has this man almost died??????

it is deeply funny to me that they edit the split second flashback of the drowning and mermaid hallucination to look all creepy as if that whole scene wasn't set to an incredibly sappy 80's love song (said with immense affection)

OBSESSED with stede trying to be like. encouraging to izzy. and being like "he cant hear you he's got no head" about izzy yelling at the ruined figurehead. this fucking dork.

so ive seen ppl talking abt how the crew's in a deadlock abt banishing ed and which ppl they think were pro-banishment and which were against, but the scenes with the crew make it look like everyone's voting for ed to get kicked out. so tbh i think like either of the following interpretations are pretty valid: the crew is split 50/50 on if they should banish ed OR the crew 100% wants to banish ed and stede was gonna try and leverage izzy's vote to try and get more ppl to change their mind. doesnt rlly matter either way tho

also the fact that izzy was the one to keep ed's body is. interesting. the others must've known abt it and helped izzy hide the body in the secret room. but izzy being the one to be like "no we're not throwing him overboard" is. something. no conclusions abt this atm im just rotating this fact in my brain.

i also just have a lot of thoughts abt the mutiny and the fact that like, jim's a trained assassin and the others are also pretty experienced killers and they probably knew they hadn't completely finished the job. and there was plenty of opportunity for them to do something about that. but instead they hid his body and waited for ed to succumb to his injuries. it feels kinda like ed's "technically i outsource the big job" rule. idk. thoughtssss.

frenchie in this scene is so funny bc he seems both actually apologetic abt kicking ed off the ship but also very relieved/vindicated to see him go.

didnt realize olu almost said smthng to ed lol i thought ed was just saying "fuck you" to him for no reason ghfjkghjkfh

"first time i've ever been on this side of a walk of shame" wee john i have so many questions. how many times have you been banished from a ship.

obsessed with archie just being like "way to make this awkward brah." her shitty boss put her life at risk in an attempt to make her and her coworkers kill him in a weird roundabout suicide attempt and her summary of the situation is "well, this is awkward :/"

"shitty sailing with you" sick burn, jim

"you're making it really hard to look up to you, man" LOVE how black pete is still a blackbeard stan. despite everything.

just ONCE i want someone to appreciate roach's sandwiches :(

"dont you want your sammy" STEDE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

also i disagree with the subtitles here im like 99% sure says "you're no fuckin mermaid" not "you're not a fuckin mermaid" but that's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stede looks SO sad abt not being a mermaid

love how everyone in this episode just sort of nods and is like "yeah okay" every time buttons tells them he's turning into a bird

altho with stede in this scene specifically im convinced that he's just jumping at the chance to follow ed to the island. he was absolutely gonna come up with some shitty excuse to go ashore anyway but it's nice of buttons to give him plausible deniability

i love how much ed hates nature

why do the subtitles say "gyp-" this has been bothering me all week. the line is "like a drifter"

i also love ed's line delivery of "a wolf?"

anyway dumb posts abt the spider tattoo backstory: 1, 2, 3

i love to see ed getting hugs... wish i could give him a hug :(

ok also buttons talking abt the gravy basket made me think ed needed like some sort of spell or smthng to snap out of it but instead it just kinda wore off by the end of the episode (maybe, depends on how you read the whole buttons turning into a bird scene). this is very funny to me for some reason

anne rubbing the cup she's holding against her tit. queen.

stede bonnet idiot dumbfuck moments

i LOVE anne's line delivery of "eddie motherfuckin teeeeach" like yeah that's cj's girl alright. or was cj's girl. who knows.

SECRET HANDSHAKE im cryinggggg. i love them.

stede's voice sounds so weird when he says "i wasn't looking for you" and that's because he's fucking lying through his teeth

LOVE how anne and mary look at each other after the "shipmates" "former" interaction like they are immediately on the same wavelength. and that wavelength is fucking with ed and his ex. they sniffed out a messy relationship dynamic and were like "oh hell yeah we need more of this in our lives"

ed is SO bitchy this whole scene i fucking love it. ed's face when he says "him?" fdhjksgfjhdgkj

ed: whatever 🙄 anne: whatever? 👀 mary: whatever! 😈

wee john getting more goth is so good

drunk izzy rambling at the ship's figurehead is so funny to me tho i miss drunk izzy

ed's crew lady macbeth "out damned spot" moments

i like how there's a goat in the background of this scene in anne and mary's house and it is unexplained and also never seen again.

ed's face after stede says "that's romance" is soooo good this bitch is so pissed. like oh would you have met me at the docs if i peeled the guard's face off instead of just paying him off? is that what fuckin does it for you???? not that it matters bc i dont care. but. cunt.

yeah im just focusing in on all of ed's faces in this scene. "quite the shift going from wearing people's faces to antique collectors" gets ed to freeze in the middle of bringing his drink up to his lips and just kinda stare off into the distance.

"how did you meet" has ed kind of frowning for a split second before stede starts answering and then he rolls his eyes very dramatically and sighs deeply

ed immediately being like "actually i was gonna kill him myself!" trying to undermine stede's meet-cute story. also anne and mary nodding along in complete unison bc this is just normal pirate conversation to them.

~~~

also as someone who has been team "no ed was dead serious abt the plan to steal stede's identity" this was very vindicating for me. it's a bad plan and it doesn't make any sense but logistics literally dont matter in this show. what matters is giving this story the "falling for the mark" trope makes ed's character arc in season 1 that much tastier!!!!

ed and stede going back and forth telling their story i cant fucking wait until theyre happily together telling this story and instead of ed trying to downplay it and ruin the meet-cute-iness of it they're just building on each other and being sappy and adorable

"more like i relented" one of the biggest lies i've ever heard this man say fjhkgjkfdhk

"until he completely boned it" SAY IT. FUCKING SAY IT. SOOOOO TRUE ED.

auauhghgh the beard bit......... crying

THE!!!!! QUIETEST LITTLE "thank you" OF ALL TIME. TIED MAYBE WITH ED SAYING "thank you" AFTER "i think you're very sophisticated" IN 1.05

i dont blame stede for trying to get ed to open up right after that bc that was the first bone ed's thrown stede's way since he woke up. unfortunately ed is not in the mood to talk abt his near-death experience and mermaid hallucination sequence.

LOVE anne's little gesture when she says "rabbit" and the little hip cocking

stede being like "uhhhh we could leave" during the knifeplay exhibitionism moment

i giggle every time at the way the crew is instantly like "fuck closing our eyes we're doing any fucking surprises"

ngl idgw the crew yelled abt the piñata reveal. but ok

loooove stede's half of the crew just blowing past all the screaming and tension from ed's half. jim screams "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" abt the blindfold and roach is like "you won't want to stay the fuck away from this caaaake!" like roach fdhsjfgdhfjkghkj read the room?????

i love how much stede just. completely misses all of annie's flirting

ed coughing during the blunt session i love himmmmm

ok but ed's trying to be like "im totally over stede i dont even like him" and then ed reminiscing fondly with a distant smile abt the 1.06 stabbing scene

"and that was the... second time you left your wife?" underrated line

love how annie's been all quiet and seductive and then when she goes to make her move she's just like "WOUND THIS" and aggressively sits in stede's lap

also ok. "they're gonna be so jealous" is that annie talking abt ed and mary or is that annie using they/them pronouns for mary.

BUTTONS JUMPSCARE

also i love how they have that one medusa painting just. in their kitchen. im obsessed with the interior decor of this lesbian antique store that annie and mary live in

the way she's so touched by the poisoning attempt hjfgfjksghskjhgjkh

buttons being like "aahhhhhh do i give her... this bowl......????" fhjkghkfsjhk

"yeah, babe" TEALORANGES WIN

im honestly sad izzy's pathetic wet beast moment only really went for like three tiny scenes in one episode bc this shit was so funny to me. crawling away saying "you're born alone you die alone" over and over again. sir what are you even doing.

god buttons in this episode is so fucking funny bc i keep forgetting he's there. also why is he even there. like was he even invited to dinner or did he just sit down and annie and mary were like "oh ok i uh. guess we'll go make another plate??"

ed's face after buttons says the bit abt "i can tell this rabbit was intelligent" is soooo funny why is he so fucking pissed fdhsjkgyjdfkghjk

NO WAIT HE'S PISSED BC THAT WAS HIS FRIEND. THAT WAS HIS FRIEND THE WOLF HE WAS TELLING HIS SECRETS. NOW IM KINDA SAD :(:(:(

stede talking abt the sea when what he's actually talking abt is ed part 2 electric boogaloo

ed very calmly. standing up. and smashing the chair. im obsessed with him.

stede bonnet stupid dumbass moments

IMPROMPTU BLANKET FORT TIME

ed's voice is so quiet at the start of this scene he's not even yelling at stede until stede says "it's not fair" ohhhhhh my babygirl is so fucking sad........

"you ditching me without a note or anything" ed's literacy confirmed

"expecting me to just melt back into your arms" eddie my man. stede has not given literally any indication that he expected this at all. you are telling on yourself fhdjskghfkjshd

this scene is so fucking good i barely have anything to say abt it. just. u can rlly tell david jenkins wrote this ep himself lolll

"i was all in, mate. i was all in." IM SOBBING

oh nooooo i forgot that ed's line delivery of "im sorry my horrible naked chin disgusts you so much" isnt actually as sarcastic as the words itself make it seem. like it feels like ed wanted to say that all angrily and bitter but instead he just sounds sadddddd

ok ok but the way stede says "i love your chin naked or otherwise" and then after a pause (during which ed is keeping INCREDIBLY still bc u know otherwise he's just gonna burst into tearssss) stede whispers "ed" and ed is immediately like "don't" and then. stede going in for the "i love you" but like the way he's so slow with it?? he's literally like "i. love." and idk if it's bc he's trying to make this as clear as possible or if he's giving ed enough time to cut him off if he doesn't want to hear it

and ed DOES he DOES cut him off with "you don't get to say that to me" and he like. keeps glancing at stede out of the corner of his eye but not quite looking at him directly bc he knowwwwws it's like staring into the sun baby and ed knows if he looks at stede's face it's literally all over.

but also ed's face after stede pivots to "i love everything about you" he's SO pissed. he quietly groans and rolls his eyes bc this bitch. finding stupid loopholes to not being allowed to say "i love you." fuck this guy ed hates him so fucking much (lying)

oooooh when stede says "you don't have to say it back to me" ed's mouth opens and closes a bit before "not about to" bc this man is trying. SO hard not to cry (so am i but it's not working sorry there are tears on my face right now)

idk idk idk smthng abt "it's nice. feels good." makes me hurt so fucking bad bc the entire time since ed's woken up stede's been getting headbutted and snarked at passive-aggressively but stede's still like "i love being near you it makes me happy :)" brb i need. a fucking moment.

honestly tho how did annie and mary even overhear that bit bc they were on the other side of the room and stede was whispering SO quietly. opposite of when ppl in this show dont hear things despite the things being said like two feet away from them (1.03 geraldo and jackie talking abt how blackbeard was looking for stede, 2.01 zheng saying the indigo was worth way more than she spent on it)

LOVE how anne being like "stede likes the ladies" is how ed figures out "ohhhh wait ok theyre just fucking with us, got it" bc this guy??? liking women????? lmao

this also HAS to be why he gets over mary like his brain mustve gone "wait hang on why the fuck would he go back to her he doesn't even like women. guess maybe he really did panic huh" hdjksghfckghkjsh

obsessed with these TINY tiny details abt the ed/jack/annie/mary polycule dynamics we're given. ed would've expected as much from annie bc she's a fucking psycho. mary apparently used to not be like this. im putting the pieces together im connecting the dots.

ed and stede's knowing smug looks at each other. im obsessed.

annie being rlly sensitive to the word "bitch" im considering that more hints abt the polycule backstory

yayy fanny newspaper

"really? i mean she stabbed you, you poisoned her, and then she jumped on my face" stede this is all part of their very elaborate and deeply toxic sex life ok stop kinkshaming them

~~~

curious if ed and stede are too distracted by mary spelling out their worst fears to comment on all the smoke coming into the room

"everything must go" like a fucking clearance sale. this is such a silly line. this is a silly show. i love it here.

WHY DONT THEY MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE HERE THO

wait are they crying while they hug??? bro these girls are so fucking messy i love them

ed saying "see you guys" before he leaves them in their burning house. i would die for him

ok team arts and craft time while making a prosthetic for izzy. obsessed with how the b plot of this episode is literally "the crew struggles to get along but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when they realize there's someone even more cringe and pathetic than any of them"

"YOU ARE!!! HARASSING A CRIPPLE!!!!!!" is suchhhh a funny line im sorry im gonna miss izzy at his lowest fhsjkhjksf. literally they just knocked on the door my dude calm downnnn

obsessed with izzy being genuinelly touched and expressing it by saying "fucking cocksuckers." this man is allergic to having feelings.

stede and ed painfully talking over each other bc everything is awkward and difficult. i love them.

ed's face when stede offers to let ed stay. his very quiet "yis." the way he says "might be nice" and then VERY QUICKLY looks away

stede yelling GREAT at the top of his lungs fhdsjkguydfgfjkhl

i love when these guys try to play it cool bc theyre so fucking bad at it hgdfgvjfxdkgjjdkkgjhfdkh

stede bonnet dumb idiot moron moments

ed staring off lovinglyyyyyy

buttons jumpscare

also is that fucking sage. are we doing cultural appropriation here

buttons saying "Earth Wind and Fire i wanna go higher" hfjkhgfdjkhgjkh

i love how ed. does not question this "fuck yeah, brother. fly."

ed teach lovesick fool moments

i love how happy ed sounds telling stede abt buttons he sounds like his old goofy self for the first time all season.... im gonna cry

also i like how the crew adopts izzy as their new creature. 10/10

post credits scene is annie and mary at dinner with buttons. i guess it's after stede goes to comfort ed but before they go eavesdrop on that convo.

buttons enjoying his last meal as a human. and also he's like "there's too much fucking on that ship i need to get away from it all." and his way of doing this is becoming a bird. love that.

[v1ctor14aaa]

~ enha maknae line when u ignore them bcz they forgot ur bday ~

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

warning: way too long, cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of trauma, attempted murder

genre: fluff, slight comedy

pairings: enha x y/n (fem reader)

featuring: chaewon (lesserafim), wonyoung (ive)

a/n: here we go, idk if u were waiting for this but eh🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. im sorry if they are too long, lol i was enjoying sm. i recently just opened my asks so if u have reqs or wants to be added to my taglist hmu! english is not my first language so im sorry for the error if therew is one. lmk if i should stop making plots in these kind of posts lol. ALSO IM SO SORRY THIS WAS POSTED LATE, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST A DAY AFTER THE HYUNG LINE BUT THEN I JUST SAW THIS IN MY DRAFTS...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tomorrow is a special day for you, it's the day you have been anticipating the most. you couldn't sleep the whole night because of the excitement for this day to come, your birthday. you weren't excited because it was your birthday, you were excited of what your boyfriend is planning for your day. however, when a day has passed and it's finally the day, you didn't expect your boyfriend to forget it.

kim sunoo (김선우)

it was night and you were already ready to sleep but when you went in the bedroom, you see your boyfriend smiling ear-to-ear looking at his phone.

"did something good happen??" you tried to peak at his phone but he immediately closed it and hugged you.

"YES but i can't tell you yet baby, it's going to be a surprise!! i will tell it to you tomorrow morning once you wake up."

there we go, what you wanted to hear before your bday starts. you thought that everything seems to be going fine and you were pretty much just glad your boyfriend didn't forget your bday. hearing sunoo, you were unable to sleep due to excitement to what could happen tomorrow in your bday. you've been thinking and wondering what could it be as you change positions on the bed non-stop. sunoo was still smiling and seeing you not being able to sleep he playfully rolled his eyes at you (still smiling), he knew you were excited but if he's going to be that honest he wasn't actually expecting you to be that excited. he saw you excited a lot of times and you weren't really acting the same but he shrugged it off and slept.

----- time skip -----

you woke up at 4am, you thought it was still night time so you checked the clock and saw the time. you couldn't believe you woke up at that time, oh wait let me repeat: you did believe you would wake up at that time because you're so excited and you couldn't wait for sunoo to surprise you. you tried going back to sleep but you just couldn't take your mind off about the "surprise", you were so curious, you were literally moving non-stop in the bed to the point you woke sunoo up.

"y/n, i know you're excited but please let me sleep. it's so early in the morning." he whined.

"can't you just do the surprise right here, i wouldn't be able to go back to sleep." you pouted.

sunoo who is half-asleep still managed to see you pout in the dark, he could never resist it so he sat up and said...

"I GOT TICKETS!"

"TICKETS TO WHAT OR WHERE?"

"ITALY, we're in first class too. oh, our flight is actually in 4 hours."

"WAIT WHAT?!"

hearing those last sentence made you panic, you ran to the cabinets and drawings to get packing. this whole thing wasn't supposed to be a surprise, sunoo just wanted to see how you would be if something like this happen. he likes to tease you every time but when you do it to him, you will regret your whole life.

midway packing, you were thinking how can sunoo possibly afford 2 first class tickets to italy so you decided to ask him.

"love, how did you afford the tickets?"

"it's not mine's but the company's."

"company? why would the company give you money to get tickets for something like this?"

"well obviously it's for work. i will model for milan fashion week this year, and i begged my manager to get you a ticket as well. isn't that great?" he smiled.

"oh." you were in utter shock finding out that it wasn't for your birthday but for his work, you thought it was sweet for him to beg his manager to get you a ticket as well but you were somehow disappointed. as you continued packing, a lot of thoughts are swarming in your mind. and, those thoughts just kept making you feel down. sunoo noticed how your mood suddenly changed, he thought that maybe you weren't happy due to the fact that you both are going to italy. he tried to ask you what was wrong but you were so down that you couldn't bother to reply so you gave him the silent treatment. sunoo doesn't like it when you ignore him. he would usually try to argue about it but seeing you down made him think if he did something wrong or what made you suddenly change your mood.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived in italy, you had to go out in different time because you were still trying to keep the relationship private since you both doesn't want issues to happen with your career. actually, everyone already knows sunoo is dating someone but they don't know that it's you. anyway, you went out of the airplane first without telling sunoo and that made him worried. he was looking you everywhere in the airplane plus he was a bit mad because you ignored him the whole flight. knowing him, he had a lot to share but you just weren't interested. sunoo's manager told him to go and leave now, he asked the flight attendants if there was any passenger left but there was none. the manager insisted to just call you and ask your whereabouts. sunoo gave in, and since he's a popular model a lot of paparazzi and fans that are waiting for him. no matter how many people were there he only focused on looking for you but there was just too many people that they had to leave immediately.

back to you, you are already in the hotel. already lying down the bed, watching the tv seeing sunoo just went out. when you saw sunoo on the tv, you had to turn it off. you were waiting for him to mention your bday the whole time but your expectations just got turned down, i guess. a few minutes later, sunoo arrived in the hotel. he was calling you non-stop and it looked like he was about to die when he couldn't see you anywhere. the manager volunteered himself to carry the luggages to his room so that sunoo can look for you. sunoo actually ran to his room but didn't see you there which made his heart drop, he was about to cry at this point.

he was about to go down using the elevator but then you went out of a room and he sees you, he ran to you and tried hugging you of course, but you immediately shut the door. he actually jumped when you closed the door because it was so loud, now he's just standing in front of the room, confused. he knocked and knocked but no answer. you feel bad for ignoring him but you just can't seem to talk to him at all. he was even shouting out of your room but his manager stopped him.

"sunoo, don't shout. the people might find out you are here."

"i dont care, i want to be with my girlfriend and talk to her."

"you should go to your room, i think shes just tired and went to sleep. you will be modeling tomorrow morning so you need to rest too."

sunoo was still being stubborn and tried to wait for you to come out but his manager managed to get him inside his room already.

----- time skip -----

it's the day for sunoo's modeling! normally, people would get nervous and excited for something like this but for sunoo, he wasn't even feeling anything at all except being worried. he's been thinking about last night. you were also unresponsive in the morning 'till now, hes at the site and getting ready while you went out to explore some shops. you tried to forget the fact sunoo just forgot about your bday which is why you went out to try and celebrate late. to your surprise while you were walking down the street, there was a huge crowd. well, guess who you saw

it was sunoo. for a second there, you forgot that you are supposed to be disappointed and mad at him but you got distracted by his handsomeness. like how can you get mad at this boy but you pulled yourself together and kept walking straight ahead but your dear boyfriend did not fail to notice you and shouted "y/n!". you were extremely terrified at that moment, you knew there were a lot of paparazzi and fans around and he just called you that. you were worried that someone might hurt you and suddenly will follow you around to ask questions about sunoo. thank gosh you were fast enough to think of a solution which is... to ignore him. everyone looked at your way but they didn't notice that it was you that sunoo was calling.

at this point, he got irritated of you. he didn't care about his career, he ran all the way to you and held your hand. you were shocked and before you even say anything, you both were already running. he dragged you to somewhere private.

he looked at you with an angry look and said "love, please talk to me. i miss you so much, it already has been 1 day since you ignored me. i want to know if i did or said something wrong. it hurts me that you don't even want to talk to me, i hate it when you do this."

"i...." you were to stunned to speak, this was the first time sunoo raised his voice to you. the first time you guys weren't in good terms or was it just you being so over dramatic that lead to this. you started crying, your back slowly slid the wall and sat. sunoo's heart dropped, he didn't want to make you cry. he didn't know what to do so he just hugged you "baby, no. im sorry, i didn't want to make you cry." you stopped crying and then you found this situation funny, you started laughing. dude, when i tell you, sunoo was so confused. he literally froze and started asking if this was a prank or some shit because it isn't funny.

"no, honey. i just find myself funny for crying for something like this..."

"you. you finally talked to me." he hugged you again but tightly this time as if you were going to disappear sooner or later. "now, tell me. why have you been acting that way all these time?"

you went silent again so sunoo sat beside you and changed the topic because he didn't want you to keep ignoring him, he already got your attention and he didn't want to risk it. you both had small talks and laughed at each other's jokes then you finally decided to tell him, you hesitated at first because it was embarrassing to say right now.

"sunoo, i..... i'm sorry for what i did yesterday and today. i wanted you to remember what was yesterday's occasion which is my bday but it seems like you forgot about it but still i shouldn't have acted that way and could've just mentioned it sooner. i was being stubborn, aren't?" you laughed and hid you face because you were so embarrassed. your face got red while you were talking. sunoo rolled his eyes and laughed at you "well, i'm sorry too for forgetting your bday which i can't believe that i did. anyway, my manager is probably looking for me now. love, is it alright if we celebrate your bday somewhere romantic later? im sorry that you didn't get to celebrate yesterday."

"yeah, you should probably go now. bye." sunoo stood and gave his hand to you. "answer my question, love. can we celebrate your lovely bday later?"

"ok. yes. yes, love." he felt relieved and smiled, he kissed you goodbye before running back to the site while you sat again and giggled like you just talked to your crush for the first time. you were wondering, however if what could've happened if you ran away from him earlier. i can answer to that, he would've probably argued with you.

yang jungwon (양정원)

you were so excited for tomorrow because it's your bday and especially because it's also your bf's day off. you can have all his attention to yourself for today not until he received a call.

"yoi, i received a call, i have this client who just hired me. heeseung was supposed to take the case alone but there was some problems that it needed about 2 people to take the case. unfortunately, there were no lawyers available for tomorrow so i had to take the job and help him." jungwon looked sad and so were you. you understood the situation immediately though, he's the best at his job.

the next day, you woke up first. you decided to cook breakfast for the both of you and wake up jungwon. "wonieee, wake up! you will be late for your job." you were about to leave the room but then he suddenly held you hand and pulled you onto the bed. he hugged you tightly and said "i don't want to get out of bed and leave you all alone here, i want to be with you for the whole day. wait, what about you? don't you have work as well?"

"oh uh, i took the day off today because i thought you'd also have your day off." he pouted and hugged you tightly.

"baby, please you're suffocating me. now, go and get out of bed. you'll be late."

----- time skip -----

soon, you got bored staying at your house. weirdly, your phone has been silent. it's a monday so everyone is obviously busy but your bday hasn't sent a happy bday message to you. he also didn't mention it earlier in the morning which made you think if he forgot about your bday now. you shook your head and thought it would be nice to visit him at the courtroom where his case would be held. you went in your car and went there.

when you arrived, there were only a few people there. you thought you arrived late but you asked and said that it'll start in a few minutes. shortly after, people have been entering the court room one-by-one and the judges also sat on their seats. you were looking for your boyfriend everywhere but looks like he still haven't arrived, you were about to sit but you bumped with someone.

"oh, sorry."

"wait, y/n??? baby, what are you doing here?"

"oh, hi! i was just bored at home so i decided to visit you here." you kissed him. he was about to talk but then his co-worker (atty. heeseung) said that they should go at their place now.

minutes later, the discussion started. you were sitting there not listening to what everyone's saying and you were just looking at him, adoring him. you forgot how handsome your boyfriend is. anyway, you realized that you completely forgot that it was your bday and you didn't want to celebrate it by sitting and listening to someone's case. you went to the mall to go buy some clothes and you were still hoping when will jungwon greet you a happy bday. you were already getting tired so you went straight home, you didn't even care id your bday remembers or not. you were simply tired already and wanted to sleep, and so you did.

----- time skip -----

as you were sleeping soundly, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. you opened your eyes slowly and saw your sister.

"oh gosh, you scared me. how did you get inside?"

"i have a spare key, remember?"

"oh, then what are you doing here? did something bad happened to you?"

"well...." she was looking down and she suddenly hugged you. "i'm sorry for busting out here, late at night but i really need your help." she looked at you, looking like she wanted to cry. you were alarmed at what she said so you asked "what kind of help?".

"m-my boyfriend has been abusing me and i escaped from him today. i can't do this anymore, i'm scared." hearing this made you so angry and just wanted to beat him up right there and then.

"chaewon, you should've told me sooner, i didn't even know you had a boyfriend but by any chance, did he follow you here?".

"no, he did text me though."

"i made his name in my contacts that in purpose because i was keeping our relationship a secret. i'm sorry, i should've told sooner." reading the texts made you scared as well but you were mad at him for beating your sister.

"chae, go stay here and lock the door, ill try and talk to your fucking boyfriend and beat him up if things go south, if ever that happens ill ask jungwon to be your lawyer and sue him."

"sis, wait, no. h-he doesn't know what you look like and you also don't know what he looks like either. i should come but ill just hide and call the police if something happens. i-ill text him so that he'll just come to us."

----- time skip -----

you arrived at the place. you didn't expect that the place would be a fancy restaurant, you thought that he must be rich. anyway, you found it weird that at a situation like this he would invite your sister to something this fancy. wouldn't people see if he beats up your sister or he's just that dumb, you thought.

"stay there at the bush and tell him you're here and make him go outside. i'll wait for him here"

you sat at a bench while waiting for him, there was not much people outside so it's easier to know if the person is your sister's boyfriend. you saw someone coming from the main door standing st the front, looks like he is looking for someone.

"SIS! THAT'S HIM!" your sister whispered.

if i'm going to be honest, you were actually scared for your dear life and you were unsure of what to do but as her sister you'll need to defend her and talk to her bf. you walked closer at him and said "are you my sister's boyfriend?" he looked at you with a confused look but soon realized that you came instead of your sister.

"follow me inside." and you did while your sister was still at the bush hiding.

your heartbeat went faster and you were somehow shaking. you kept holding back from punching him and stayed calm. as you walked further, the light went off. oh dear, that's when you lost it. you were so scared of what might happen to you there and scared that this might be your last day. then the lights opened again.

"HAPPY BDAY!!" you were so shocked that you fainted.

hours later, you finally woke up and you were already home. you actually thought it was just a dream but then a door opened, it was jungwon. he was so relieved seeing you finally awake.

"love, don't scare me like that. i thought we went far. i'm so sorry, i should've surprised you in a different way."

"no, don't scare me like that. i fucking thought i would die there, i can't believe these was all your plan." you put your hand to your chest and tried feeling your heartbeat. "my heart is still beating fast right now, i feel like i might've got a heart attack at that point."

jungwon suddenly ran out of the room and went back holding a cake. "you didn't get to blow the candles earlier, happy bday my love!"

"i actually thought you already forgot about my bday, thank you for remembering BUT please no more surprises like this. if you do this again next time, i think i might actually die already."

"don't say that but yes, i won't surprise you like that anymore." he laughed then suddenly stopped, as you both talked he remembers how you acted in the certain situation which made him worry and get concerned for you.

"y/n... if something like this ever happens, don't act rashly and call me immediately. love, i don't want you to get hurt..."

"okay okay, i know love. i still can't believe you asked chaewon for this evil plans of yours."

"yoi wait, did you really think i forgot your bday? were you waiting for me to greet you?" he smirked.

you looked at him shyly and guilty. "uh, noO."

"you know what? ill take my day off tomorrow and let's celebrate your day properly but first let's eat the cake!!"

so you may be confused but.....

jungwon is really not the type to forget your bday, he could never

which is why the storyline here is different

even if he did forget, he would've still remembered hours later because he always think of you<33333

welp, jungwon's might be the only one who has the shortest..... he remembered your bday so...q

if you guys want more with lawyer jungwon just hmu !!

nishimura riki, ni-ki (니키)

you were talking to your boyfriend over the phone and you were reminded that it's your bday tomorrow so you somehow waited for him to mention about it over the phone but to your surprise he didn't. ni-ki is someone who gets more excited in an event than the person who is hosting it or the person who's the event made for so it was really odd of him to not say anything about it.

the next day, you woke up with a messy hair and a drool on your mouth. you checked your clock and saw that you're about to be late for school so you hurriedly went to the bathroom and went downstairs to get your shoes.

"sweetie, you made him wait for an hour now. ALSO GO EAT."

you ran to the door and said "nah, i'm good mom. i think ni-ki's going to get me something later."

you thought that ni-ki is sitting on the bench but when you opened the door running, you accidentally bumped onto him.

"oops, sorry."

"and you're the one telling me to sleep early."

actually, your school is just near your home so everyday you and your boyfriend just go on foot. you guys were having a small talk then you realized that he hasn't greeted you a 'happy birthday' at all.

"so....."

"so...?" he raised his eyebrow at you. "so what?"

"oh, nothing. so um, have you finished your assignment?"

"since when do i even do that?" you laughed at him, knowing that he'll probably fail in your exam day which is next week.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived at the gate of your school and as you went in, you both parted ways. you two have a lot of similarities but when it comes to education, you both can't even be compared. however, you and your boyfriend are pretty popular. you're the valedictorian and he's just the hot guy everyone knew about.

as you went in your classroom, you sat and wondered what surprise is ni-ki's hiding. usually, ni-ki is bad at surprising because his acting is just terrible that it immediately gives it out but seeing him today made you think that he's finally good at this. you were thinking of him so much while looking outside the window that you didn't notice your teacher already standing behind you.

"ehem, miss y/n. is there something would you like to share with the class? i suppose not."

your seatmate, also your best friend giggled at you. "y/n, i know it's your bday but what made you think it would be a good idea to zone out when the teacher's here or.... you're thinking of that gigantic emo man again? i told you we should've became together instead lol."

"normally, i would've bickered with you for saying that but since you're the first to greet me then-" wonyoung gasped loudly while the teacher looks at the both of you but the teacher let you both go for now since you are the top of the class.

"don't tell me you both literally came here in school at the same time without him greeting you?! i knew you shouldn't have dated that man. it should've been me instead, like im even taller than him." she whispered, actually nevermind the whispered part because literally everyone heard wonyoung that time.

"wish i could say the same but anyway, im pretty sure he's going to surprise me sooner or later. you know him, he can't handle surprises and he's probably so excited right now telling his friends about it."

meanwhile ni-ki......

"hey bro, a dumbass in another class just told me i suit pink. i would literally look like shit if i do anything with pink, i just hate it."

"i think it would suit you fine, don't know." heeseung chuckled.

"shall we fight and see?"

yeah they started play fighting inside the classroom, just imagine that one time where ni-ki and heeseung was play punching each other while hee was holding a dumbbell.

back to you, you decided to visit ni-ki's classroom and maybe sneak up on him to see what is he up to. you looked through the classroom's windows and you saw that ni-ki was just playing and doing some random stuff in the classroom. finally, you thought that ni-ki forgot about your bday. it all makes sense, from him not mentioning about it and he looked like his usual self (like not being excited, etc.) to him just being normal in the classroom. you went back to your classroom and didn't pay attention much to that, hate to admit this but you were upset that your own boyfriend forgot about your bday.

----- time skip -----

the school bell finally rang for break time, everyone started to go to the cafeteria and eat. you also went with wonyoung while you guys were walking in the hallway, wony noticed that you seemed a bit down.

"hey, are you okay? you look like someone just threw up on you. okay kidding aside, are you okay?"

"yeah, i just feel tired right now thinking about studying advance for the exam next week."

"it's break time now so let's eat and stop thinking about your grades for now."

you guys were already in the line to get food and you sat down. ni-ki was waiting for you since forever and when he found you, he sat beside you in the cafeteria. wonyoung was also sitting beside you, at the left side.

"baby, i missed you." he was about to kiss you but you immediately put the spoon in your mouth since you aren't really in the mood for his lovey dovey. wonyoung side eyed you because what and ni-ki on the other side was shook.

"should i go to another table? it looks like there's something the both of you need to talk about." then she whispered to you saying "oh, i can tell he still didn't greet you huh?.." she elbowed you about two times and headed to the other tables with your classmates.

"so... jake and the others plan to go to the haunted house after school. wanna come?" you didn't respond, you were still thinking hard whether if he actually forgot about it or what. it wasn't a really big deal to you so you still somehow replied to him with a low tone "sure." ni-ki thought it was weird that you talked like that, he never even heard you that way. you both are always loud, to be honest.

----- time skip -----

classes ended and it is finally time to go home but you remembered you had plans to go to the haunted house so you looked for ni-ki, you were walking down the hallway where your boyfriend and the others at. there was a crowd, there was a lot of people but not that much. you also noticed your best friend there, you were about to call her but ni-ki noticed you walking in the hallway so he ran to you.

"hey, angel. are you ready to go to the haunted house??? don't worry i won't scare you like last time hehehehe" he laughed.

you didn't really want to ignore him but you were busy thinking if he did forgot about it or no, you were to busy thinking that you didn't hear your boyfriend that started talking to you.

"hello? babe? my girl to earth! hello! huh?" he waved his hands up and down in front of you thinking you were zoning out but no, you were still busy thinking. although, you did notice him waving had hands in front of you but you didn't care.

as you reached the crowd, they were talking about going to some restaurant after the haunted house and also heeseung will be the one to drive. wonyoung saw you and she just had to say something about "it".

"y/n, are you really sure of going to the haunted house? i don't want to see you suffer there."

"i'm fine. i forgot about what happened years ago, i mean i still remember but i don't care about it anymore."

"did you tell ni-ki about it? oh, definitely not because if you did i'm sure he wouldn't invite you to go to a haunted house."

"yeah, i think i'll just make him worry but he probably doesn't care as well. look wony, i can manage myself." you knew that was a lie, going back to the haunted house is a bad idea. a lot of tragic events has happened you in there which means if you go back it will probably trigger you trauma again. as ni-ki mentioned, you guys actually went to the haunted house one time. you didn't want to go but your boyfriend was with you so you thought your trauma won't get triggered. as you went in the haunted house, memories has been flashing in your mind. you couldn't breathe properly, ni-ki knew something was off but your acting with him was just so good even though you were shaking a bit. the memories of you getting almost killed by your aunt and uncle inside the haunted house, make you think that they're still there, in every haunted house ready to try and kill you again.

----- time skip -----

all of you finally arrived at the haunted house, everyone was getting ready to go in except you. wonyoung was looking at you the whole time, worried. while ni-ki tried to make a conversation with you in the car but you were busy thinking, not because if he forgot about your bday or not but because of the haunted house. you don't know what might happen to you this time, back then, you managed to act naturally with ni-ki but this time there's a lot of people.

"y/n, okay i'll be serious. why have you been ignoring me? did i-" before he could finish talking jake and the others were calling everyone in the car to go in the haunted house now. you just saw the building but all the memories are already flashing in to your mind. you don't even know if you can go inside because you felt dizzy and scared. you still tried to act natural because you didn't want anyone to think you're crazy at that moment. as you went in, you got dizzier and images of your past is all you can see. you were scared to death and hoping someone can just save you and go somewhere else. wonyoung looked at you with a worried look and held your hand in. "y/n, are you sure you're okay? i don't want to see you get hurt..." your boyfriend heard what she said and approached the two of you.

"why? did something bad happened?? don't ignore me, y/n, please.."

you whispered to wony "yes, i'm fine." you let go of her hand and turned your back. you were not fine. you were shaking terribly and wanted to cry at that point. everyone proceeded to explore and of course, your boyfriend went with you instead of the others, it was just the two of you. you were still shaking and you couldn't handle it anymore, so when ni-ki was busy picking up something, you decided to walk away from him and went in the nearest room. when you went in, that's when it got worsen. the room looked exactly like where you were when your uncle were hurting you. you went to one of the corners and sat, breathing rapidly and covering your ears because you were somehow hearing your aunt's voice whispering to you words. you cried and cried and couldn't handle it anymore, you didn't know what to do but luckily you went to the nearest room and ni-ki just found you in time. he didn't know what to do but he just ran over to you and tried to see what was happening. he was talking to you but you didn't answer. he was panicking so hard that he just hugged you that time, you needed it. for a few minutes, you calmed down while closing your eyes. still hugging him. ni-ki is still worried as fuck and you weren't responding to him. he held your hand and said that you both should go outside now, he didn't care if he's going to leave the others behind.

----- time skip -----

you still didn't talk but ni-ki took you at his home because you begged that you didn't want to go home and there wasn't any safer places for you to be comfortable so he took you to his home. he gave you a glass of water and hugged you again.

"i don't know why that happened but you can tell me whenever you're ready. im sorry i didn't know you were going through something but please i want to talk to you at least."

your mother called, you were supposed to not pick it up because you weren't really in the mood to talk but you still did and you put her on speaker.

"sweetie, do you ever plan to go home to celebrate your bday or are you going to celebrate it with ni-ki." and when your boyfriend heard that he stood up and was like HUH. while you were talking with your mother, he was walking back-and-forth not being able to believe himself for forgetting your bday and you were also going through something that he didn't know. you hang up on you mother and he was asking questions on where do you wanna go, you told him to the movies or in a restaurant. he literally brought a bag like he was taking care of a baby but yes it was full of things that you might need in case you went crying again.

----- time skip -----

you finally told him on what happened earlier, he was feeling sorry for you and was mad at your aunt and uncle.

"i can't believe i didn't notice that that was happening to you and i even forgot about your bday. im really the worst boyfriend ever.." he pouted and hugged you again.

"maybe but you aren't really the worst, if you were you wouldn't care about me at all." he hugged you tightly and you just found comfortable and safe around him, in fact you were luck that he was there earlier of he weren't you don't know what might've happened to you in there.

oh yeah, lol you both technically forgot about everyone. they were calling the both of you but didn't answer but seeing the car disappeared, they were pretty sure you went somewhere.

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

please do not copy/translate this and post as your own.

[ TAGLIST: --- ]

[sistervirtue]

making a copy of this bc op disabled reblogs and i just got reminded it existed and would like to not lose it

ok so . im outing myself to the world but thats fine this is too funny to not share

so. ive run a roleplay blog for a few years. i keep it separate from my main, yknow, its just a side hobby and ive been doing it since i was like, 12. its cringe but hey yknow at least im not 30 and writing ya novels

now its pretty common for rp blogs these days to have rules. right? you dont want to just bag any weirdo on this website, and as you can imagine bnha roleplayers are batshit crazy (see: conversion therapy todoroki) so mine are pretty strict and detailed. because ive been doing it long enough to be exposed to what counts as carbon monoxide poison from a screen. one of those rules is "if youre mutuals with people who write porn of the kids even aged up im blocking you we're keeping a ten foot pole on this". because as a 20 year old man i have a healthy disinterest in seeing paragraphs of teenagers fucking

so the dash is astir with talk of a guy writing age up bakugou porn and im like ok whatever. make a post bitching about it . mutual likes those posts but then the mutual is turning around and being buddy buddy with this guy so i dm the mutual like hey whats going on here . mutual is like "well why dont you talk it out with him hes not as mean as he seems i prommy" and im like sure whatever i can have civil conversation and if it ends with One Less Person writing weirdo porn then i might be able to get into heaven

so i dm him and he loses his fucking mind. it lasted all of 10 minutes because he was sending paragraphs like this and i was too tired to give a shit

(take note of my icon thats a special tool thatll help us later)

(also he goes by the name rxgelord. WITH the x. thats also important just because its funny as fuck)

so the guys clearly bothered by the idea that people might possibly talk about him without his permission and im a little miffed after being misgendered (which hed do again later) so i just post our dms. swing first and hey batter batter lets play ball i dont give a shit this is bnha roleplay

once again: loses his damn mind. he makes a psa post about me talking about how im just some pussy infant and hes too HARD for me and shit and also they do bakudeku muffin roleplay in the comments of that post which is fucking insane

anyway. at one point while joking about the whole thing i called him a "wannabe bakugou kinnie" as a joke and apparently he felt a very serious need to address this

and im like holllllllllllllly fucking shit

you may have noticed that his posts are incredibly over-formatted. this goes for everything he does he is pouring a LOT of time and energy into typing his 9 paragraphs about how im an insane bitch or whatever. (if theres literally one thing i can give him credit on its that his graphic editing skills are kinda good. i will be honest) his rules document is also just as insane and features gems such as:

(this dude thinks hes pulling bitches on a bnha roleplay blog)

so we're just full on ragging on him at this point and hes getting MADDDDDDD MAD. he misgenders me again and when i point it out he has the following excuse:

(art by @/pcktknife. anyways)

after a certain point i get dmd an old copy of a 130+ page callout he had a year prior and im like WHAT and it included his yugioh rp blog career and various allegations like having been involved in gang violence, doxxing, etc. also a picture of the hickies he bragged about leaving on his uwu pink glitter gf which looked more like he was trying to go for the killing bite but hey. yknow. apparently im a toddler idk how that works

along in this we also find his twitch account, which was under the name rxgelord, and it featured edited graphics of his real life face with bakugou. he posts selfies a lot too i wont share them even if theyre public but he has knuckle tats and a goatee and uses the greyscale filter. if this gives you an idea. he also had 5 twitch followers and detailed his desire to be a rapper/dj and im like holllllly fucking shit this guy cant be a real person. holy fuck.

anyways. skipping a lot of unnecessary bullshit and paragraphs of text with gifs from 2013 attached hes constantly going on about how we wont just "say it to his face" which i think is hilarious bc i was, the entire time. but im like ok fine you want me so bad

so i send him this. he posts about how "he won when he got all might" (for some reason hes calling my ex mutual by the character name. i dont know) and then hasnt posted in 4 days. he deleted his twitch. im a little worried bakugou. dont say that. may have actually chased this man off the internet . to go have real life sex with his real life girlfriend so he isnt so mad

anyway we ended up turning one of his posts into an eminem uberduck

im honestly probably forgetting something this was so much and it was so fucking funny and honestly im glad to have been there

update: he has not in fact posted since last summer. god bless.

[localowlhousefanatic]

Tag game!

so, i just discovered that the fanfic question id ussualy answer around this time is out of commision, so im making a tag game! for some reason the only thing i can think of is a poem-ish thing (it rhymes, thats the poem part.) for a list, so thats what we're going with! First ill give you an explanation of the question, before providing my own answer! With all of these, feel free to add a link to the story uyou're pulling from

something old

(here, please provide a bit you wrote a bit ago from an older fic taht you like! Is the question referring to an old fic you like, or a bit? you decide!)

my answer:

As she tugged on the cord next to the window, Masha couldn’t help but be reminded of a stage play by the way the warm, orange sunlight hit their mother- like a spotlight turning on at the lifting of the curtain. The angle also didn’t help, Placing Masha in such a position that mom was framed as a silhouette, like they were watching from the wings at the opening moments of a play.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47992501)

something new

(here, provide your favorite bit from among the three most recent things you've either published or worked on. Why three? Idk, maybe this post works by fairytale logic now)

my answer:

That isn’t to say that there’s no blue around her- there’s plenty, just not the Blue that matters. Theres the Blue streetlights, casting a light that’s almost negligible in the screaming buzz of neon billboards and signs, some of which are blue. The light- so sharp and loud its almost toxic- Cuts through the rain, and bounces off of the layer of water covering the street, and fills the thin mist that’s gathering above the ground, giving the entire street the feeling of being a mix of nightclub and dream. There’s blue everywhere around Red, but it only serves to remind her of the overwhelming need inside her- it’s like handing a cold person a candle, providing just enough warmth to dangle the possibility of comfort in front of them, but not nearly enough to stave off the cold.

Something borrowed,

(sharing time! share a bit from, or a fic, you enjoy from someone else. please credit your sources though)

my answer:

This is just a really good fic. Its also by a really good writer, who deserves all the love

Something Blue

If youve been wondering why ive coloured the headers up until this point, heres your answer: the blue bit.

(please either share a bit/fic you wroite taht made you, teh author , sad. And for those of us who dont do taht often, just provide something you think of with something blue. This might be getting a bit weird now, sorry.)

whoops, ive used my blue bits already at the top. Well, i did just remeber teh one other time i focussed on the colour blue. behold,

 The girl that was looking back at them was dressed impeccably, Masha noted. She was wearing a long royal blue trenchcoat, the type you would expect on a noir detective. Gods, I want that coat. They also noted the fact that it was a crumpled mess. A coat shouldn’t be so messy and yet look so good on someone, they thought with a pang of jealousy. The coat wasn’t the only thing that was a mess though. The girl wearing it looked like she hadn’t slept in a while, indicated by light bags under her eyes that she obviously hadn’t tried to conceal.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47040430/chapters/118509421)

im sorry for the slight mess that was this post, i hope you people can have fun with it. I think that im supposed to give you numbers here or something, but i dont know that many writers here, so ill just tell you to tag who you want

following my own advice: @topheecoffee @queereldritch @oh-cramity-its-amity @sky-neverending @bonpocalypse @usernamemybeloathed

and for a riskier tag, @captainimprobable

[suethesocks]

Balls, a series

ive been pretty slow on art recently so i wanna post some of college assignments so that there's *something* to post

We're still in the animating bouncing balls to understand the basics phase

This one was mainly about squash and stretch and slow in/out , as well as an introduction to the idea of arcs and pose-to-pose

This one i think was about timing. It was also mainly about being able to make the 3 balls distinct and show that through just their movement

This one was about anticipation, follow through, and overlapping action. We had to make a ball that this time is alive and moving on its own and also it has a tail

BONUS

On top of animation we also have a subject called "computer graphic" which is basically the same as animation but like, with lighter expectations? And a bit less of an organized curriculum since its kinda new? Its a bit more concerned with learning animating programs than animation itself so we kinda just animate whatever we want

This one was to animate anything and use the clip studio paint keyframe feature on it to do like a camera zoom. I have another version of it without the zoom too because the zoom cuts off the tail at the end and also distracts from the movement in general and i was too happy with it to cover it up. I mean, look at her!! Shes a cutie patootie

This one was mainly supposed to be a head turn but idk why i kinda just exaggerated it to a weird degree. The point of this assignment was to color a character and keep the shading consistent so that the lightsource is the same regardless of where the character is facing

Despite the weird chin attack thing im happy with how this one looks too, especially with how the shirt kinda floats in the air a little as she switches from going up to going down and then gets pulled down as she goes in faster than the shirt is

[keibea]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things

what's your favourite sims death?

ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?

alpha cc or mm?

alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.

do you cheat your sims weight?

only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.

do you move objects

i move objects every single day.

fave mod?

ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.

first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?

my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.

do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.

who's your favourite sim that you've made?

well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.

have you made a simself?

oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.

favourite ea hair

im with aimee on this one.

im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.

favourite life stage?

young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.

are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.

are you a cc creator?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA HA once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.

do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?

somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway. the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly. but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

do you have any sims merch?

bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.

do you have a youtube for sims?

i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.

how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?

as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.

this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?

whose your favourite cc creator?

the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are @kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank

how long have u had simblr?

since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.

how do you edit your pictures?

with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.

what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?

of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.