#weights and know that I can handle it...
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been exercising consistently for a month now (4 times a week) and I hate to admit that my energy levels really have improved so much 🧍♀️
#used to feel like crashing after lunch basically everyday and these days I actually feel like doing things...#and it just keeps getting easier to exercise too bc I'm starting to be less sore after each session + it feels sooo good to increase the#weights and know that I can handle it...#it was rly tough in the beginning but once I passed that bit where I would almost always give up it's gotten a lot easier#I don't even have my brain trying to talk me out of exercising anymore#I just get to the time I usually exercise and do it#and not just physically but mentally I can feel a lot less resistance in doing things too#specially with cleaning etc I used to battle it out in my head so much and I'd do it regardless but ik I used to do it very frustrated bc#I didn't Want to do it but these days I barely feel any resistance I just think that I have to do something and I do it... actually feeling#like a functional person woah#jt
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10k steps for the first time in god knows how long!!!
#i am chafing in places i didn’t even know could chafe#i’m about to pass tf out but wanted to share this achievement !!#will admit i am down to 283 but now i can handle this weight. it will go up >:))#gotta plump up for the summer#talk
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Do y'all understand the deeply Nevarran shame Cassandra experiences when she realizes she knows nothing about how Vestalus wanted to be buried or any of his last wishes or anything, she just has to rely entirely on what he put in his will
#OOC / HOLLY.#I imagine there is a lot of pomp and ritual and tradition surrounding the death of a prelate#but she knows nothing of what he personally wanted#and imo she only knows the basics of a traditional funeral for a prelate if that#because well. she was like 9 when the last one died and she wasn't really involved#and her whole deal with Vestalus and [gestures] everything is so complicated she didn't dig for details#it is so so so embarrassing and shameful to have to rely on the Mortalitasi to handle so much of his funeral#especially his chief apprentice who'll basically take his place who actually does know#about how he wants to be buried and any final wishes and his plans for his estate and where his will is etc#Cassandra can feel the weight of her uncle's disappointment and disapproval from beyond the grave#she can't even pull the 'he didn't know my wishes in this regard either' card because like#yeah that's true but that's still so embarrassing and shameful that the only close relative you have left#the man who vouched for you to save your life and raised you since you were 7 and got you into the Seekers#is estranged enough from you that neither of y'all know each other's end of life plans
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Last year, I had the idea to make a Santa Sleigh I could fly beneath my drone. This ended up not happening as my computer was away for repairs. This year, I don't have that problem.
Here's the cad model, drawn up based on some clip art I found.
Everything needs to be outlines to minimise air resistance, and keep it as light as possible.
As you can see, this Santa is being made with an Australian twist.
Here's the Santa in print:
And the first "Boomer" (Kangaroo)
Several hours of printing later, and it was time to stick it together. Wanting strength, I used skewers, even though they were a little thicker than I originally planed for.
I'm balancing the roos on the back, to make sure
It must be wide enough to not confuse the drone's downward sensor.
The morning of Christmas Eve, I awoke to this weather forecast.
I proceeded with final assembly anyway. There were gaps in the clouds, it was only bucketing down some of the time.
The strings need to be equidistant from the balance point, and all the same length.
Launch has to be done very carefully. Going to have to fly very smoothly to prevent twisting.
It flies!
I took it down to the park.
Here is the view from the air:
Maybe if the weather holds, there'll be people in the park to see it.
Merry Christmas!
#Christmas#Aussie Christmas#Drones#drone#3d printing#3d printing adventures#mavic mini#santa sleigh#It is about at the limit of what the drone can carry. Even with this weight if i go to long the Drone will start to complain.#it handles tolerably but doesn't sit exactly right. It veers a little and the sleigh easily turns too much. Needs a steady hand#but the drone did cope with a little wind and the small amount of shaking. though the sleigh is about 2/5 of the drone's mass#Idk if anyone younger knows the song about the 6 white boomers. It feel out of favour when the songwriter fell into disgrace
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The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!
#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything#like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take#it if you wanna do something about it.#you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is#i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them#and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and#i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened?#the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice.#something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself#like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time#yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice#and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand#i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought.#so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he#cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest#do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done#and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore#i promise its okay. take a break.#im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better#then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do#dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers#oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk#long post
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i try so hard to be balanced esp when dealing with hypocrisy like. i Know it’s something that irks me deep deeply and also that like. at some point or another everyone is a little hypocritical like. it happens and it’s what we do with that that matters etc. etc.. that being said. this ex-coworker is testing every freaking instinct and point of personal growth i have in me to not just snap brutally at her
#she keeps sending me things about how i should quit bc the workplace was unfair to her except it. wasn’t#the second she had personal difficulties she stayed online and did nothing and i just. yeah we have coworkers that don’t pull their weight#but this person didn’t just not pull her weight she fuckin sank like a stone for WEEKS#and i tried so so hard to like not bitch her out or be a problem or point out her double standards#and now she’s texting me out of the blue blatantly to use me as a therapist#and fuckin basically told me to respond to her as soon as i woke up when she was upset in the middle of the night#she hasn’t once tried to actually get to know me and she’s almost twenty years older than me#and on the other side of the country!!!! girl what!!!!#tbqf literally my mutuals on here could be like hey we’ve never spoken but could you keep me virtual company i just need to be parallel or i#idk whatever yknow like there’s more precedent for people ive been parallel online with for years and it’s like#ffs i like being kind and helpful and i do want to support people! and also it is so so so galling when people see me and think free therapy#sorry i just. needed to vent#i finally responded and was just like what’s up#and she was like oh sorry i was triggered by my pos family#like. how does she manage to make me even angrier#sigh i know I’m gonna handle this and be mature i just. needed to get this anger out productively#ha man if people wanna start pulling this i should just be like great venmo me money then you can vent
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#I have to remember to not get too excited about potentially having another feedist friend nearby#I've had other friends either try it out and even get very much into it decided that it wasn't something they could handle#to do more than dabble fingers crossed though I suppose#(I think my non-kink friends /especially/ my ttrpg group having a habit of expanding over time doesn't help wanting friends#where I know if they've gotten pudgy it's something they wanted and I can mention even or not#have to worry about ti getting awkward when someone talks about hating their weight...to a room with two people who are in the 400-500(!!)#range....)#sorry I'm rambling lol#(to be clear as far as I know none of us are trying to secretly fatten the group.....just that the fatties tend to be the ones who bring#snacks and the like and tend to cause some bad habits to those who don't want to get fat ^^; )
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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i don’t like the surge of casual ‘ed is an abuser’ vibes this izzy clip seems to have sprung. it’s actually making me sick with anxiety that the show is gonna make ed into someone i can no longer enjoy. i really really hope his relationship with izzy can be somehow fixed because if it can’t i think the new season will be really really really bad for my mental state and i mean that so genuinely and seriously it’s not funny.
#izzy hands#ofmd#edward teach#please don’t judge me for this or come at me with a bunch of really heavy really serious takes#im not in the mental state to handle the weight of a discussion about people committing violence upon people they’re close to#and all that entails#i know im the one who brought it up in the first place but please be gentle with me lol#cw abuse mention#even just to tell me that the solution this is to seperate them not to help them be better to each other#i don’t really want to talk about that right now#like just because this is about my feelings in real life doesn’t mean it’s about relationships in real life and how they really work#izzy and ed are fictional and their relationship can be repaired if someone can write their relationship being repaired#simple as that. because they’re not real people. their reality is what we make it#ofmd s2 spoilers#potentially
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normally I'm not a fan of clip show episodes buuut I'm really enjoying the ones in season 6 of Night Court.
not just because of all the Dan stuff but... okay only 99% because of that.
also "not sleazy but ethically questionable in regards to women" - oh Daaan 🙄
#by far the best part is seeing all his pretty suits#and when his hair was longer and shorter :3#and more or less grey :3#very cute#and he's sooo awful 🥰 very nice summary of why I love him (unfortunately lol)#he's so funny. he's so so stupidly funny#it's nice to know that there's things that can overcome my insane morality issues#ooh this character did a not great thing once? hmm yeah the brain can't handle it sorry.#this man is the worst? horrible awful terrible not good ever in any way? yes please :)#it's a mystery why he gets a pass (it's because I find him insanely attractive and he's so fucking funny and it's simply too much)#(no seriously it's because I was already obsessed with him before I started watching the show and obsession is stronger than the issues so.#that makes it okay!#because yes I have to justify this to myself! can't just like him! I've got to fill out a form for my brain every time I accidentally think#about this :) hmm can we like him... no we can't... but WHAT IF...)#anyway whatever I just watched both these episodes twice lol#personal#night court#dan fielding#also. not relevant but he's definitely gained weight over these six seasons and. I'm only mentioning that because. I like it soooo much. 🥵#he looks so good. ugggh#it does not matter but. I like it.
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Fuck you *gives your oc a healthy relationship to at least one parent*
#I’m giving Knut a healthy relationship with his dad and I’m having such a blast you guys don’t even know#his dad is the emotionally mature guy we all need in our lives#I just almost shat myself I’m walking home from theatre and wearing headphones and suddenly there was a huge fucking tractor right behind me#anyway#he’s an absolute unit of a guy like. like#weight lifter physique ykwim#not body builder. weight lifter#he doesn’t actually lifts weights but#he’s a blacksmith! except he doesn’t make like heavy axes and stuff#he makes jewelry and really intricate stuff#I fucjing love him lmao#huge guy who looks like he can squash you with his pinky. has the most softspoken voice out there#he’s a blacksmith. but for like jewelry#he grabs you and then he hugs you really gently and asks you if you want some of the cake his son baked because he’s really proud of him#his living room is full of pictures of his children#he knows about Knut’s issues because he’s not scared of talking to him and he even took Loki in for a while#even after Knut died he kept in contact with Loki and looked after him. made sure he was handling things okay (spoiler alert he wasn’t)#he’s a really good guy#and the biggest pro? he’s still alive#yeah what I have issues? haha why would you think that haha
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😏
I don’t know if friend is having a baby shower, but I’m ready
#came up with a list of items that aren’t toys/clothes/ointments#I’M READY#i’m also insane. i got bf’s lil cousin nearly 100 used books carefully curated#the girls at the secondhand book store were like ‘why is she looking through every one’ rude#boyfriend was very complimentary of my list. i really like the target brand fake flame candles because the remote only has 3 buttons#and when mommy or daddy are getting up in the night they can feel and know exactly which button to gently illuminate#rather than amazon candle remotes which have like 8 buttons#i use my remote blind just fine i know the system works#silicone training cup set — two cups. one with a double handle and one with zero handles#they’re SO TINY. for TINY TINY hands. and weighted gently at the bottom
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getting back on my calorie counting bullshit. i was so close to my goal weight, and then i slipped around april and gained 20 lbs back
starting over today. no more eating just because i'm bored.
#personal#the startup is gonna be really annoying#but i know i can handle it#just gotta get back into the swing of things#tw calories#tw weight
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 209
Adjective: Voracious
Noun: Churchyard
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Voracious: wanting or devouring great quantities of food; having a very eager approach to an activity
Churchyard: an enclosed area surrounding a church, especially as used for burials
#so a coworker of mine that ive been having quite a few various issues with the past few months seemingly got fired today#(i cant confirm he was fired but between the phrasing of his departure email and him not putting in a two weeks it seems like he was fired)#and it honestly feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of my chest#(despite knowing we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity as a whole organisation but im hopeful to make changes with that)#cos i know that our clients (at least legally) are going to be getting the best help possible between me and our other legal advocate#and im hoping that now that his (honestly) oppressive energy is gone the environment at the office will be much nicer to work in#im just worried about potentially getting overwhelmed or incredibly busy cos ill have to take his existing clients#and any new ones needing help in my specific service areas cos im now the only person serving these areas#but ill handle that if it happens#i just feel like i can breathe and that ill feel a lot more comfortable being myself at work#also our supervisor has been out all week while being on vacation so she is gonna come back on monday to a real big surprise#anyway sorry for the rant#but these prompts are lowkey my diary so kind of not sorry#anyhoo back to our regularly scheduled programming#the prompt gives the feeling of the 'churchyard' (whether the church or the cemetery) pulling people or souls or corpses in to feed on#and for me there is the added theme or element of abuse through the word 'churchyard' reminding me of the song of the same name by aurora#there is just a lot to play around with here#definitely more than there appears to be on the surface#aurora#aurora aksnes#aurora music#infections of a different kind#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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Fighting demons every minute of every day. (<- Debating reading DOTC)
#Firestar's Quest my comrade my personal chew toy my sworn enemy is on the mind with worldbuilding again.#And it got me thinking about how the clans were formed in the books. Mr Frostfour did not read DOTC.#Something to do with the Tribe? I know very little about the arc. But the formation of the clans could be a nice read.#Knowing how Firestar's Quest handled building a clan my trust is low however that Super Edition snared me. Would it be worth the time?#Is it worth the 200 fridged wives (according to user Bonefall)?#(All I know of DOTC is from Bonefall and 90% of what I can remember is Bumble deserves a weighted blanket).
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I think if an assignment causes a significant amount of students to break down crying and rethink their entire career then maybe the assignment needs reworked
#I cannnt fucking do this. I cannot handle this on top of being an unpaid therapist that doesn’t know what I’m doing#I feel like the weight of the world has been on my shoulders for years and I just keep getting handed more responsibilities#I’m about to be entering the field already way past the point of burnout#no more passion or energy for it. before I even fully start I feel like I’ve done more than one person can do in a lifetime#mine#txt#vent post
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