#well mid-20s

[cto10121]

Finished re-reading Rebecca and I have Observations(tm)

It’s so obvious upon rereading that Beatrice doesn’t like Rebecca, lol. She never says anything positive about her other than objective facts, forgets that Gran liked Rebecca, and has uncharacteristic patience with the narrator.

Maxim keeping cool while Favell brags about being Rebecca’s lover but losing it when Favell merely insinuates the narrator finding a sympathetic “arm” with Frank is so revealing.

Also, the fact that it took Maxim so long (literally years) to confront Rebecca about her infidelities—practically only doing it when she took lovers at the boathouse in Manderley—says a lot. Maxim really did not give two shits about her.

Mrs. Danvers practically raising Rebecca (per Favell) and being with her from when Rebecca was at least 12-years-old really changed my perspective on their relationship. Less of a flying monkey to a narcissist and more of a mother/companion figure. The way she worried about Rebecca not returning home and staying up was especially mother-like. On the other hand, we don’t quite know how old Danvers is compared to Rebecca. It could be a case of younger servant / older madam, but Danvers does read as older by a lot.

Otoh, you could make a case that Danvers/Rebecca is a parallel to The Narrator/Maxim, both with servant/master overtones. The narrator does liken her love for Maxim as that of a schoolboy over an upper form and that Maxim is “father and brother and everything” to her. Du Maurier may be depicting (eroticized?) class dynamics.

Rebecca’s infidelity is made into such a big deal (‘30s after all) but Du Maurier definitely wrote abusive signs: Rebecca flogging a dead horse with a whip, her threatening to send Ben to an asylum, her mocking the servants behind their back chief among them. She reads as a female Iago—an excellent liar and manipulator expert at masking and mirroring people. It makes all the Rebecca defenders look really obstuse

The narrator believes that Colonel Julyan knows the truth, but I don’t see how he would. Rebecca committing suicide after a cancer diagnosis would be in character—Mrs. Danvers said that Rebecca had a horror of sickness and would have wanted to be quick about it. He may have had his suspicions aroused when Maxim punched Favell, but honestly, who wouldn’t? Either way, Julyan opted to protect Maxim. It also makes that awful Beauman sequel about his knowing and liking Rebecca all the more stupid.

Surprise, surprise, but I felt for Mrs. Danvers and even Favell at parts, particularly Mrs. Danvers crying and Favell shaken after learning about Rebecca’s diagnosis. But it’s clear they are awful people and so of course they’d like her, lol. It’s telegraphed that Mrs. Danvers would have been 100% okay with the narrator if the narrator had been another Rebecca clone and/or wasn’t such a pushover. Curiously enough Favell was still hopeful to get Maxim even after the cancer revelation…but we never learn how.

On Maxim’s love for/not love for the narrator: The narrator really is unreliable in the sense that everything is colored by her insecurity and her crippling shyness. She takes everything personally—every slight lands like a blow to a youth and all that. How much is Maxim truly being coldly callous—and how much is he genuinely panicked and triggered by the memories of Rebecca’s abuse?

I think a good example of the above is the narrator feeling slighted that Maxim set her up in the renovated east wing suite with the rose garden (usually for bachelor guests) when the original marital suite (the “best” and most beautiful rooms per Danvers) were in the west wing with the sea…only for Maxim to come in and cheerfully say he always loved the east wing suite with the rose garden and it was a shame that it was wasted as a guest room. Homeboy wanted his new bride to be in the rooms he loved and not the ones he was forced to share with Rebecca…aw

And then there is Maxim easily confessing the truth to the narrator and admitting he almost confessed earlier. Weirdly enough, I do believe him—but what a horrible risk! What if she turned against him, feared him, ceased to love him? Denounce him? Maxim knew her so little before they married, and yet he didn’t seem to fear any of these things. Curiously enough, he doesn’t even ask the narrator to help him, either directly or indirectly, and even seemed resigned to his fate. Was he that entitled, to take it all for granted, that stupid…that in love?

Usually I dislike typically the (typically) Christian theme of innocence/naïveté>>>>wordliness/just not being a clueless idiot. I think it works better here though as a basic but non-abusive>>>>beautiful but abusive type type of thematic messaging. Both the narrator and Maxim struggle to move on past their trauma, for want of a better word (the narrator as an orphan under that awful degrading Mrs. Van Hopper and Maxim with all the shit Rebecca put him through). To a certain extent they’ve internalized these survival instincts as mere habit. The narrator’s crippling insecurities follow her as a wife and Maxim doesn’t even think to change Manderley from Rebecca’s influence, renovating only the east wing suite. It took Rebecca returning, so to speak, for them to face their hang-ups squarely. The narrator realized just how much her insecurities have blinded her to the truth and made her unhappy and Maxim gained a true ally.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.

[dracomort]

all top/bottom discourse aside, the most shocking thing to me is that calling tom a twink is controversial

[constablequodo]

I keep seeing the trope of "Hancock met Nick as a teenager" in Valencock fics which....huh???

We don't know when Hancock moved to Diamond City , he wasn't born there and theres a big chance he moved there well into his 20s. If we're going off of the fandoms general idea that hes in his 30s-40s, he could have been any age between 18-40 depending on how long you think he was there for before his brotjer became mayor.

I like Valencock, I really do, but why did yall find a way to make it weird???

[aestheteinreverie]

an under-appreciated joy of mid to late 20s is watching your friends starting to take care of themselves. we used to roll eyes at wellness together but now you tell me that you want to get some glass jars for meal-prepping breakfast. another friend sends me a picture of her chia seed pudding: “i used that recipe from the reel you sent.” the friend that has taken up journaling tells me to junk-journal: “you will document every mundane day of your life; it will be nice to look back on when we are old.” all these women that you grew up with, being angry with the world and hurting yourself in the process, are now taking care of themselves not just in spite of the anger, but because of it. we are finding the little things that make us happy and engaging in self care that we used to scoff at, because loving and taking care of yourself is the most revolutionary act there is.

[jonahmagnus]

Paranatural fandom rn

[tricoufamily]

i was gonna show you all of his outfits then i remembered he has the most boring sense of fashion in the world

[tyrianludaship]

so this is worrying me a little but i need to bring this up:

If you are like 17, don't write "18+ x reader" smut! Do not put yourself in danger of creeps and predators just because you want to be self-indulgent over your favorite characters! Please do not do that to yourself!

[ghost-bard]

I've had this theory for a while now, and me n my friend (@nightshadetq ) have talked about it a bit as The Magnus Protocol continues, but I really don't think Alice's indifference to the paranormal/statements/cases ect ect is proof that she like. Has no idea what's going on, or will be in for a rude awakening.

[Note: this post is not free from spoilers up to episode 18]

I think she knows a decent amount of what's actually going on, and is trying to protect Sam (or her uninformed coworkers in general) from getting in too deep.

Other than Lena, who I assume has been the boss since Alice arrived, Alice has worked at the OIAR the longest, "nearly a decade" and has consistently told Sam not to look into anything, to not be curious, and to just do his job, and those moments are when she is the most serious, an odd departure from her typical attitude, very likely a coping or defense mechanism (or survival tactic) on her part.

We also have how she and Colin interact, and her conversation with Teddy in the most recent episode (18 as of writing). While yes, her and Colin's unlikely duo could be in part simply a fun dynamic, grumpy/sunshine, whatever, but we also don't really know what has happened within the last near decade of Alice working at the OIAR. The only person Colin likes is Alice, perhaps because she's the only one he trusts, or maybe they went through something together, that's mostly speculation on my part I'll admit.

What's more interesting is Alice and Teddy's conversation, the weight of Alice calling Teddy a liar, her saying to herself for Teddy to "watch himself" because she's worried. I would point out we have no idea how long Teddy worked at the OIAR, though in episode one there's a mention of "another four years" which implies he's worked there about that amount of time, and so Alice had still worked there the longest.

Honestly it would be weird if Alice hadn't seen weird shit pre-canon given how long she's been there, and that despite the jobs turnover rate hasn't quit despite everything, almost like she's obligated, to the job perhaps not, but maybe to the other people working, given we know that people can and have quit. Of course it could also just be the getting a new job is difficult and she has a younger brother to help out occasionally, but truthfully I find it a bit difficult to believe that being the only reason she wouldn't have quit by now.

Also interesting that the only thing Alice said in response to Gwen talking about Mr. Bonzo, where Sam laughs and thinks she's joking, is after she leaves saying "Curiosity will get you killed, best try and ignore it" wherein Alice clowning on Gwen is what I, at the least, would expect in response. Yes, she questions Gwen interacting with monsters, but she doesn't push her to talk about it, and in fact, gave her an out on what the Externals are.

Considering both Gwen and Sam didn't know about them until 1. Gwen asking Lena to let her "in" and getting work about/for the Externals, and 2. Sam just now being informed. Meanwhile Alice has a fake explanation on what they are, providing Sam with said explanation, therefore shielding him from the truth of the matter, and letting Gwen not have to talk about it, only for Gwen to then say what they actually are. So either Alice already knew what an External was, and lives by the "if you don't know about the real goings on nothing will happen to you" deal and tries to act the part herself, or someone who no longer works at the OIAR AND worked with Externals told her that that was what they were, which I'll admit is also a possibility.

There is also her seeing the drowning victim and her reaction to them. Her primary issue as I remember it was the dead body, given how she implies she hadn't seen a dead body since her parents passed. However, her having a negative reaction to a dead body doesn't mean she hasn't seen other freak shit. There is also the option that she lied about not having seen a dead body since her parents, and she (rightfully) still has an averse reaction to them, though I don't necessarily believe this myself, I am presenting it as an option.

Maybe I'm talking out my ass, but I really don't think Alice has completely avoided everything up until now, especially given how weirdly cagey she is about anyone (mainly Sam, but they have a history so maybe she feels responsible for him in some way) getting curious about what they do, or wanting to look into the cases they receive. If she didn't know anything at all, I don't know why she'd care about someone getting curious about their cases, or at least care as much as she seems to.

[s0fter-sin]

metalhead ghost who’s been in moshpits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out. he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out, kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or putting their hands where they shouldn’t

and he’s been keeping an eye on the punk in the kilt since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death

he looks like the type to start shit - loud and aggressive as anyone else here but a punk doesn't end up at a metal show for no reason - but there's also something niggling at him that he's gonna end up getting himself hurt. and ghost can’t tell if he’s going to do it on purpose

if he does, ghost needs to know. he uses these places as an escape - the music, the violence, the community - always has and he knows all to well how easily an escape can curdle and become destructive. he’s seen too many people lost to the darker parts of the scene, almost lost himself to it; he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else if he can help it

so when he sees the punk sweating his mohawk off, his movements becoming looser and uncoordinated, he has no issues with yanking him out of the pit and pulling him away from the crowd; pushing him up against the venue wall and ordering him to open his mouth

the glaze that falls over his eyes concerns him even as he obediently lets his mouth fall open. he was right; the punk’s severely dehydrated, tongue and gums far to pale and along with the look in his eyes, he half-thinks he’s about to drop

he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw to keep him up and the punk shivers, a flush creeping up his neck. an almost confused arousal joins the haze in his eyes and ghost smirks beneath his mask

looks like metal shows aren’t the only thing the punk is new to

[littlespoonevan]

one thing i still genuinely do not understand is why all of these teen shows set in high school aren't just set in college instead. when i think of all the shows i watched in my teens/early 20s they all have the exact same problems and all of those problems could be solved if they were just. set in college instead?????????? actors don't look 16?? that's cool bc they're in college so they can reasonably be anywhere from 18-24. parents seemingly non-existent or disappear for episodes at a time??? nbd all the characters moved out for college so they don't see their parents that often. characters going to endless parties, having unlimited access to alcohol, and sleeping with a different person every ep??? sure makes a lot more sense if they're in college!!!! characters randomly having free time in the middle of the day??? everyone's college schedule is different!

like!!! there are so many shows that completely lose the run of themselves by s3 bc their characters start off 16 and now they're supposed to be graduating and all the plans they had and colleges they wanted to go to now need to Go Away bc they need a reason for them all to still stay in the same setting which means basically messing up 2-3 seasons worth of character development. and i just cannot understand how none of these tv execs thought, hey maybe if we make them freshman in college this would make more sense bc we'd at least have a plan for 4 seasons and even if we reach graduation we could still feasibly transition them into their career paths without disrupting the existing dynamic??????????? teenagers would still watch that, the demographic wouldn't change???????? college is still a tumultuous time where people are growing and learning and making mistakes and having new experiences?????????? where are all the shows set in college where are they?????????????????????????

[emry-stars-art]

Emry, i need advice. I have a crush on this guy but i can’t tell if he likes me back. he bought me a powerade (without me asking) at a tournament we went to and we texted for like 2 hours last night. Should i ask him out?

he also may have spent the entire tournament talking to me. I always call myself gay but i clearly stated to him that i’m bisexual so he knows i would go for him. this would be my first “straight” relationship as i’ve only dated girls before. so i don’t really know if he’s attracted to me too. i hope you answer this because i’m in desperate need 😩

okay bye bye i love you :))

My sweet child I have NO clue what about my blog could have insinuated I know anything about actually having relationships I'm so sorry 😭 I mean my instinct is go for it?? And even if it doesn't work out, if you care about each other as people and friends you can keep being friends??? That's what I did in high school idk I'm just a dumb asexual that's never been interested in a relationship

Good luck soldier I believe in you

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

[markantonys]

we've almost certainly got our morgase!!!

[f0x-gl0ves]

Just woke up at 12am in a cold sweat thinking about how these four images exist and are the perfectly curated moodboard

[astxrwar]

i see the “army vet bucky” modern au alternatives for the winter soldier trauma and raise you “life-altering motorcycle accident survivor turned (recovered) painkiller addict bucky”. i think this might be too niche but there’s so many parallels psychologically wrt: the lack of choice inherent in the neurobiology of drug addiction particularly in ppl who started off just taking what was prescribed to them for their pain in like the 90s/early 2000s (when pharma execs Lied about the neurological impacts). the way you kind of lose all that time despite still living it and having the memories, how sometimes the memories feel like they belong to a different person once you get sober. how it separates you from everyone else in your life who Didn’t suffer like that. it’s Compelling. imo.