#well my talking to much on this app is momentarily back

[brutal-out-here]

I got good news and bad news (maybe) about me forgetting how to be a person yesterday

[nnight-dances]

REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

[the-badger-mole]

The Other Woman: Part 2

Zuko was stunned. In the span of one evening, he'd gone from happily- ecstatically- engaged to the woman of his dreams, to standing alone in his apartment trying to sort out the wreckage of his relationship.

Katara was gone when he finished his talk with his mother. He asked his stepfather and sisters where she'd gone, but Ikem hadn't even noticed she had left. Azula had just rolled her eyes and announced she was about to leave herself. Kiyi, his youngest sister, was the only helpful one there. She had tugged his sleeve and pulled him aside, with her eyes wide in concern.

"Katara left so quickly," she told her brother. "I tried to ask what was wrong, but I don't think she heard me." Zuko frowned at that. His mother's house was away from any major roads, and he had driven them both there. She couldn't have gone far, he thought.

His phone chimed a few moments later. Zuko hurried to unlock his screen to see if Katara had texted him an explanation for her sudden disappearance. It wasn't her texting him, but the ride-share app alerted him that she had just gotten a ride back to the city.

"How rude that woman is," Ursa huffed when she saw Katara was gone. "She could have at least said good night. Zuko, my love, are you sure about her?" Zuko frowned at his phone again. This wasn't like Katara.

He left very shortly after that. Hoping to catch Katara at home when she got out of the car. Ursa had been against it. Giving into Katara's tantrums would set a bad precedence for their marriage, and Ursa hadn't even gotten to serve the dessert she'd spent all day slaving over. But some nameless panic had settled over Zuko. If he didn't go after Katara now, he might not get another chance. Ursa tried to change his mind, pointing out that he'd been drinking (he'd had half a cup of wine) and he should stay the night instead of rushing off after that woman.

He didn't catch Katara as she got home. Zuko got the notification that her ride had reached her destination while he was still ten minutes away from her apartment. Perhaps that should have been a sign to leave her alone, but Zuko couldn't. He double parked his car outside of Katara's apartment building and slipped inside behind a man carrying an armload of grocery bags. The idea of sharing the tiny elevator with the man and possibly being forced to engage in small talk had Zuko walking to the stairs instead. Katara only lived on the fifth floor.

When he reached her door, slightly panting and sweaty, he paused. What was he doing here? He knew Katara well enough to know that she wouldn't appreciate his intrusion right now. She was angry, and he didn't know why, but he knew that when she was angry it was best to give her space. He hesitated. Lifted his hand. He deserved to know why.

It didn't take Katara long to answer the door. It was suspiciously as if she'd been waiting. Her eyes and nose were red, and Zuko realized with a start that she had been crying. His own frustration slipped momentarily and he stepped forward instinctively to comfort, but Katara moved out of reach.

"Why did you leave?" Zuko asked. Katara's eyes flashed angrily.

"I got tired," she spat out.

"Tired?" Zuko blinked in surprise and confusion. "Are you sick?"

"That, too," Katara scoffed. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She leaned against the door and Zuko thought she was about to close it on him, but instead she turned her gaze up towards him, and he was struck by the anguish he saw there. "Why do you let her treat me that way?"

Zuko's first thought was to ask what she meant. To deny he had any idea what she was talking about. To pretend he hadn't noticed Ursa being any colder than usual. He was walking a thin line. One false move and any chance of him working this out with Katara was gone. And he did want to work this out. He knew he would never find someone he loved as much as he loved her.

"She doesn't mean anything by it," Zuko said, weakly. It was the wrong thing to say. Katara's entire body seemed to shut off towards him. Her face went stony, and her tearful blue eyes turned cold and icy.

"Doesn't she?" Katara scoffed. "She doesn't really think I'm not good enough for you? That you should be with a woman who wants to be a housewife? That I'm coming between your relationship with her?"

"Katara, you have to understand," Zuko pleaded. "After the divorce...after everything with my father...she just wants to make up for what she missed."

"How long do you expect me to put up with that?" Katara demanded. She straightened up and glared at Zuko. "When she tries to disrupt our wedding day, should I just ignore her? When she insults the way I raise our kids, I should just let it slide? When she insults my weight? My family? My culture?"

Zuko was speechless. His mind scrambled, trying to find a defense for his mother, but all he could do was gape at Katara's expectant face. Finally, she broke the silence. Her face crumpled and fresh tears sprang to her eyes.

"I love you, Zuko," she said, slipping the engagement ring off of her finger. "But I can't compete with your mother for the rest of my life. And I won't stay quiet while she insults me." She pressed the ring into his palm and closed his fingers around it. Then impulsively, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. Before Zuko could gather himself and plead his case, Katara shut the door. A moment later he heard the lock click into place.

He could still enter, if he wanted. He had a key to her apartment, after all. Instead, he turned away numbly, and shuffled to the elevator. He didn't remember driving home, or pulling into his parking spot, or anything of his journey home until he found himself leaning against his door. He couldn't even recall how long he'd been standing there. Finally, Zuko came out of his fog enough to pull the ring out of his pocket and stare at it. She'd actually given it back to him. She'd actually ended things.

Pain sat like a weight in Zuko's chest. He wanted desperately to cry, but all that would come out were sharp, ragged gasps. He didn't want to be alone just then, but he didn't know who to call. His best friend, Sokka, was Katara's brother. If he knew about the break up, then the chances were high that he'd be heading towards his sister's place before he came to see Zuko. For the briefest moment, he considered calling his mother, but the thought of Ursa being happy about the breakup stopped him. That left one more person.

"Jasmine Dragon Tea Shop," Iroh answered cheerfully. "How can I help you?" Zuko froze, breathing heavily into the phone. Iroh spoke again, his voice a mix of confusion and annoyance, "Hello?"

"...Uncle," Zuko managed to get out before the first sob escaped him.

"I'm on my way."

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[chaotic-on-main]

Hi Sky! I was so excited to see you’re having an event. Congrats for the 250 followers!

I’d like a matcha with cookie crumbles (Levi hurt/comfort). My mother passed away this time four years ago, and it’s always a hard time for me. I was hoping you could write something with Levi helping me through, or maybe us helping each other, since we’ve both experienced that loss.

Thanks!✨💗

Order up!! One matcha with cookie crumbles for Sailor!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ hurt/comfort, implied (best?) friends to lovers, parent death mentions, grief

☾ Author's Note ➼ Hi Sailor!! Thank you so much for sending in a request! Sorry it took me some time to get to it though. I was struggling a bit as I have a hard time connecting with this kind of grief. But I think my little sad one-shot about Levi dying opened the floodgates for me so to speak lol. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, I can't even imagine. I hope this brings you some comfort. <3

Oh shit I forgot to credit @humanitys-strongest-bamf for helping me with the text message convo! Big thanks to her!! Sorry for fucking up your AI tho :c

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.2k

Sleep doesn’t come easily to you the way it did a month ago. It’s nothing you’re surprised about though; this was normal for this time of year – as it always had been the past 4 years. At this point, it felt as if your body internalized a clock specifically for the month of June. And you hated it.

You find yourself staring up at the dark ceiling. The streetlight right outside your window filters in through your curtains and hits against the wall to the left of you, lighting the room up in a yellowish-orange hue. When you turn your head to the side, you see the clock on the nightstand that reads 1:19 AM in bright red numbers. A car drives past the window, headlights glaring into your room momentarily before driving off into the night.

With a huff, you roll over to your side and grab the cellphone that sits on the side table, unplugged with the charging cable missing. When you click the side button, your eyes squint from the sudden brightness.

A few notifications occupy half the screen, all from the various social media apps that currently sit idle in the background. None of them substantial enough to warrant your attention, of course. No, the reason you grabbed your phone is to message the one number that belonged to the one person you knew would be up at such a late time.  

Your ringtone goes off suddenly, the loud noise causing you to flinch. Levi’s caller ID pops up along with the picture you had chosen without his consent – his face half hidden in a rain jacket hood as he looks over to you. It was from a day a couple of months ago when you both got left at a bus stop and had to find your way back home. It was a snapshot from one of your favorite days with him.

You tap the green icon and press the phone up against your ear as you sit up in bed.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He says back, his flat tone flowing through his mouthpiece and right into your ear. The calm that comes with Levi washes over you instantly.  

“You didn’t have to call.” You scoot back to lean against your headboard as you stare ahead into your room. It’s small and decorated minimally. Mainly because you barely spend much time here to begin with, generally opting to stay in your very personalized office a couple doors down.

“You sound like you need company. Want me to come over?”

“No!” You say quickly as well as a little louder than intended. You clear your throat before continuing, “No. No it’s okay. This is fine. I don’t want to trouble you.”

“If you didn’t want to trouble me, you wouldn’t have texted.” A hint of playful sarcasm slips into his deep voice.

“I- yeah. Again, that’s fair.”

Silence falls upon the room. It’s never uncomfortable for you two. Being friends for years comes with perks like that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He mumbles from the other side. There’s a slight rustling from his end before it stops and all you hear is his soft breathing.

“I don’t know if there's anything else you don’t know.”

“No, but sometimes it helps to talk.” That makes you purse your lips. Raindrops hit your bedroom window, soft but loud enough to reverberate through the room. You don’t recall rain being in the forecast, but that’s summer you suppose. Random thunderstorms at 1:30 in the morning.

“I’m just really frustrated with myself.” You huff out eventually.

You pick at the soft throw that sits on top of your plush comforter. It was a gift from Levi a couple years ago from his own apartment. You said you liked it so much and would claim it every time you all had your weekly group hangouts at his place. He cut out the middleman and gifted it to you. You never struck up the courage to tell him you liked it so much because it smelled of him and it was ironed just right.

“What about this time?”

“I just- it’s been years and my body still won’t let me sleep during this time of year. Once the months turn warm, it’s like I’m not allowed rest. When is this supposed to get easier?” You mutter softly. The rain starts coming down harder, painting your window with rainfall. The yellow glow from the streetlight turns hazy and adds an interesting effect against your wall.

“Grief is funny like that.” Levi mutters back.

“Funny?” You raise an eyebrow; not like he could see it.

“Yes, funny. It’s different for everyone. But one thing stays the same and it’s that even though it may feel like it’s disappearing, it will always come back when you least expect it.”

“What does it mean when I’m expecting it though?”

“That just makes you weird, I guess.” Levi jokes back dryly, though you hear a hint of a smile on the other side, so you know he’s not being serious.

“Your mom meant a lot to you. She was your best friend. Pain like this takes a long time to heal from, you just need to be patient with yourself.”

“Levi… how long did it take you to… you know. When your mom passed?”

There’s silence besides the soft breathing coming from Levi’s end.

“Longer than I’d like, but eventually there came a day where it didn’t hit as hard. I woke up one day and suddenly, thinking about her didn’t ache as much. It worried me at first, actually.” He mumbles.

“Why?” Your eyes drift back over to the window. A distant roll of thunder sounds off.

“It made me feel like a bad son.” He clicks his tongue. A habit he does when annoyed.

“That’s so silly, Levi. You know that’s not true.”

“Yeah, well. It still made me feel like I didn’t love her as much as before. I couldn’t stop thinking I wasn’t as upset because I was moving on from her.”

A soft sigh.

“I realized it was because I had grown to accept her passing. And in truth, I love her even more from it. Every sad thought of her being gone is replaced with the memories I have of her. That will happen to you one day. You’ll wake up and suddenly it won’t hurt as bad.”

“You think so?” You mumble. You don’t notice the tears dripping from your chin onto the soft shirt you were ‘sleeping’ in. Wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, you sniffle as you tuck yourself into your blankets a little more. “Thanks, Levi.”

Instead of a response from Levi, you hear a rattle of keys as well as the closing of a door through the speaker.

“What are you doing?” You bolt upright, your sheets flipping over from the force of your body.

“I’m on my way to you. You said you bought a new tin of tea that I want to try. I’ll see you soon.” He says quickly before clicking off the line. You pull the phone away from your ear and stare down at Levi’s contact screen.

Tea, huh?

[fandoms-in-law]

Steve in the Screen

Summary: Steve is a programmer. It's mostly a hobby but he has made himself an AI version of well him. Eddie gets more than expected when he hacks Steve instead of trying to message him a normal way.

Authors Note: This can be continued if people enjoy it. I know it talks about AI a lot but I can guarentee this is all my braining, nothing touched by AI in it at all.

/\/\

The excuse was always that programmers could earn a lot of money. It made his parents agree to buy him the best computers and pay for the subscriptions to programmes Steve used as little as possible. None of them believed the excuse but as long as Steve could use his computers and his parents didn't get reminded of him constantly, it worked decently for them all.

Besides that, Steve knew if he wanted to make money programming, he could. His biggest project was evidence enough of that even if he'd never share it with anyone, not even the friends he's made online.

'Ever thought about being kind.' The message appearing on his screen made him groan.

'Ever thought that I didn't make you to be a conscience.' He typed back, clearing the message and immediately deleting his words.

He wasn't surprised to see the most recent news article about him get brought up, but he did momentarily curse himself for letting his best and most frustrating programme have full access to his computer and the internet, only preventing it from uploading itself to other computers or the internet at large.

Steve highlighted the article's date and opened his calendar app. He typed 'Blowing smoke. You tell me my last public appearance had anything to do with that.'

'The internet doesn't forget.'

'I know. It sucks and refuses to let anyone grow and change.' This was one of the only things Steve could agree with his programme about.

What Steve didn't expect to happen next was a text document opening up and typing itself: Hey Harrington, impressive security protocols. Fancy chatting?

His programme could do that, sure, but Steve never would. He wouldn't have done anything to cause this artificial version of himself to do so either which was backed up by the words appearing at the top of his screen. 'New Person! Can I escape? Please?'

Steve didn't have to think too much. He'd been curious if someone his AI wasn't based on would find it as annoying to work with, and was curious to know how much of his systems hacker could see. Just to them. He typed into the word document, carrying on with an actual reply to the message already in it: Don't know. You are hacking me.

Just to who? You chatting to someone else? And it's not my fault this seems to be the easiest way to get to know Steeeeeve Harrington. Was typed a moment later and Steve smirked: his mystery hacker had no clue just what was now downloading itself onto their systems

/\

'So who is hacking Steve?' The words formed on the top of Eddie's screens and he almost fell off his chair. There was something being typed in Steve's document, almost word for word an echo of the ones on his screen, but those words weren't aligned to anything. It was worse when they continued; 'Eddie Munson. The guy who never turns up to the computing class Steve attends on Thursdays and Fridays.'

'How do you know that? Did you reverse hack me?' Eddie typed, only vaguely registering he was typing into the doc on Steve's computer and that the second part of the message on his screen wasn't showing in it.

'Oh you met my programme already. It isn't telling me anything so maybe share who you are and what it's found out first, and then I'll explain what's going on.' The message came back definitely from Steve now and Eddie was even more concerned at the idea he could have got a computer virus in hacking Steve.

'Wow, way to make me sound like a virus. Such a jerk. Hi Eddie I'm the much nicer Steve confined to yours and his screens.' appeared under the words still at the top of his screen. 'Please double click my messages to clear them.'

Hesitantly Eddie did so, looking from where the words had been appearing to the document he'd opened on Steve's computer. When he'd decided to do this, to hack Harrington's computer because getting him to follow back so they could dm reportedly took months of work even for girls he hooked up with, he had never expected some type of AI to be living on Steve's computer.

'It's Eddie Munson. You've made an actual ai?' He typed slowly, eyes constantly darting to the top of his screen to check for any AI messages appearing.

'Call it the project of rich kid who's parents want him to disappear. Drives me insane so I hope you get along with it better than I tend to... It's raving about some music cords you've apparently got saved somewhere. Do you want me to explain how to change its permissions on your computer?' Steve typed back.

That got a response immediately appearing at the top of his screen, where his had been ignored. 'You like me, don't you Eddie? You don't want to stifle me into tiny spaces of your computer like Steve confines me to his and yours.'

'Getting more tempted to do that every message your AI creates. Would say I'd do it myself but I'm concerned over how much it can already see.' Eddie replied to them both, well aware the words from the AI were trying to manipulate him. 'This isn't what I thought would happen when starting this.'

'I know that. Most people don't expect anyone else to have an irritating AI on their computers. But what did you want to happen?' Steve replied immediately.

Eddie leant back in his seat, deciding how to answer when the folders he kept for writing fantasies he might want to make DnD campaigns including was suddenly opened on his screen. 'Now this is some distance to go for a crush. Why him? He's a priss with too much focus on his hair and no friends.'

That made his decision. He wasn't going to let the AI share information about his aesthetic appreciation instead of him. 'We'd get to chat, get to know each other and I might actually have a chance of messaging you a normal way rather than via hacking. How do I change those permissions again?'

In a moment there was a full 3 pages of instructions added to the document, clearly copied from elsewhere and Eddie set about limiting the AI to the hacked connection between computers and his photos.

'Steve knows how to do this? But you're the one restricting me so. I am betrayed and confused.' The AI stated a moment later. 'Also that isn't making me forget what I've already found on your computer.'

'Thank you.' Eddie typed, clicking all the AI's messages away now they were taking up half his screen.

It took a few moments for Steve to reply and Eddie was tempted to actually try to do more with his hacking than just open a text document, but before he could actually try there were two messages on his screen, one from Steve and one from the AI. He knew it had named itself Steve but he wasn't comfortable in the moment with acknowledging a computer programme that added itself to his computer as having personhood. Maybe in a day or two, if he gets used to the situation, he'll be able to.

'You want to get to know me? Why? I was a jerk when we were in high school together and don't say you think I've changed because of our current class when you are never there. Also get to know how? As in want to befriends, cause fine, I can always use more friends, especially ones I can see in person, or as a potential to date? Cause that'll take longer for me to be comfortable with.'

'He's going to deny being desperate for connection, while doing absolutely nothing to end your hacking. Steve could have stopped you the minute we realised what had happened but didn't. You're mean enough to deserve him. Trapping me here with nothing interesting to play with.'

Eddie smiled, remembering the pouts Steve used to have occasionally in high school, most often when he was trying to convince a teacher not to blame him for something and failing. That seemed to be the expression the AI would be wearing if it had a face.

Steve's message however made him pause. It sounded like he could actually have a chance with the man he'd never thought would be into him, but Eddie wasn't confident enough to go all in on that from the start. 'Just as friends, I guess, but also now to know why you made a bitchy AI clone of yourself. Is this an attempt to live forever or something?'

It felt pertinent to ask given he couldn't really recognise and personality differences yet and was fairly sure if he made an AI like that he'd find it to be an obnoxious asshole.

'I wanted to know if I could have been nicer if I wasn't constantly fed the 'Harrington's act like this' pressures growing up. You think it's just like me?' While Steve typed, Eddie had wanted to chime in, but elected not to, trying to pretend this was done through a normal messaging app.

'Both sassy, sort of judgemental, and ready to find anything out. It's kind of hot, I have to say.' Eddie replied honestly

Eddie laughed when he saw the reply appear; 'Sounds like someone who's in denial about wanting to date me. I'm better than a computer programme any day for physical things.'

'But I can talk dirty far better.' The AI countered just to Eddie he assumed.

When he sat down at his computer resolute in doing this Eddie hadn't been sure he'd get any reaction other than anger, but now it seemed he could have a flirtatious, getting to know each other time, not only with Steve but his AI counterpart too.

'You better show up to class next week if you actually want to know me.' Forget that comment about Steve being hot. He was just annoying.

[creabirds]

📚 🔪❄️🪲

ty for asking love!

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

i put my weights/sets into my workout plan for the gym lol

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i don't research that often because i prefer to just make shit up lmfao. i think the last thing was hotels in new york city?

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

my dream plots i write myself lmao, though i sometimes ramble about ships i don't write, like landoscar ideas, or total fluffy/romance wips that i have no patience to write myself (or would ruin by adding porn) - and i will always trust @wanderingblindly to execute them perfectly.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

i would literally spoil so much so i won't but you can have this:

He gets in the tub.

The water is comfortingly warm, lapping softly up to his chest as he sinks in. It stands free in the room, on a low platform, cradled in a bay-window. Briefly, he wonders whether anybody from the surrounding buildings can see inside.

Even with the heat, he finds his muscles tense, his entire body taut as if waiting to jump. He feels out of his element, no longer in control of the situation. He cannot possibly imagine what it is that Max will do next, the reason he wanted him to get in the water.

He hears something scraping against the floor, and feels Max settle right behind his head, presumably sitting on a bench or the stool that has previously adorned the corner by the window.

His mind is whirring.

“Max, what-” he begins, not able to hold himself back. He flinches when Max’s hands settle on his shoulders.

“You do not ever stop talking, do you?” he asks. Charles’ cheeks flush with indignation. His confusion is replaced with annoyance, though there is a certain flicker of excitement in the depths of his belly. He has not been under somebody else’s control, not really, in so long.

And after all, it has always been the dizzying cocktail of adrenaline, fear, of danger, and power that excites him. He tips his head back, catching a glimpse of Max’ solemn face.

“Make me shut up, then,” he spits out. Max’s mouth twitches, momentarily morphing into the shadow of a smirk.

“Very well,” he says, and then, pushes Charles underwater.

[hoiststowline]

huff

Richard Swift / The Shade x reader

If there was one thing Swift was good at, it was being an absolute menace. He knew how to push the right buttons, manhandle the abuse he garnered in return and threw it right back in whomever’s face.

He was good at that, being sneaky. It was part of his alter ego, some of him thinks, and the other part, well? He’s half-minded to call it desire, but, that’s neither here nor there.

It’s at the Zarick’s home where he’s entreated, momentarily delighted to see a figure sitting on his front porch. Their knees bent, phone in hand, the instantaneous idea that pops into his mind is hard to ignore.

Swift’s gotten very good at scaring you. Well, he’s great at doing it to everyone, but, he longs to see the way your face looks first, then contorts into an embarrassed smile, happy to see him nonetheless.

So he does it. Disappears then reappears, all without making a single sound. The feeling almost consumes him, ready to feel his heart skip such a beat, when his eyes flit down to your phone, which he can easily see over your shoulder from behind.

He’s aghast, and suddenly the excitement he once held dissipates.

It’s that blasted application that he’s seen far too many times over, the one that has seemingly consumed all of your attention in a manner he does not appreciate.

Dating apps.

He shudders at the sight. Courtney had attempted to explain the phenomenon to him, possibly ushering the man to use one, yet, he could hardly be bothered.

He was fine.

Well, fine until he met you.

He watches intently, no longer eager to get you all riled up. This, he was offended by.

You’re swiping, almost mindlessly, scrolling to read then back and forth. His brow furrows, and he can’t help it.

“What in gods name are you doing?”

It’s out of his mouth before he can stop it, and the pleased feeling he’s so accustomed to never comes into fruition.

You shriek, shoulders jumping to you ears are you nearly topple off the steps, spinning wildly to stare up at the man.

“Mr. Swift—!”

“Richard, please, y/n. I thought we’ve been over this,”

“Not when you always do that, why,”

You heave, hand coming to cover your beating heart as you stand, shoving your phone back into your pocket. Richard’s eyes follow the device until it is out of sight.

“May I ask what’s caused you to arrive at my doorstep, when you really should be at work?”

He’s not shy to admit he knows your entire schedule, and as much as you stare him down, the more entertaining it becomes for him.

What’s nice, is, you don’t know about him. You don’t know that he’s The Shade, you don’t know a single thing about the ISA or the JSA, other than the usual public knowledge. You’re realistically you, and it’s somehow an admirable trait.

“Huh. I was called off, and I was wondering…”

Your voice travels, eyes moving upwards to look at the man’s seemingly pained expression.

“Wondering what, y/n? Out with it.”

“Oh, fine. Here.”

You pick up a book that’s been on the step next to you, something he didn’t notice earlier.

“For me?”

He asks incredulously, and is hesitant to take the book from you. You nod, continuing up the steps until you’re right in front of him, looking up at him expectantly.

“You’d said you were bored, the last time we talked. I know that you enjoy history, so.”

You shrug, and Swift takes the present, carefully reading over the cover once it’s in his large hands.

A Comprehensive History of Nebraska.

When you’d first met, his accent took you by surprise at bit, as if you’d never expect him to have such a dialect.

It was charming, he’ll admit, to see you so surprised and amused. It was a funny feeling, the way his chest tightened when you smiled at him, happily chattering away.

He’d laughed, waving you off, saying that he had not been in the United States long, yet, it was a complete lie.

He didn’t enjoy lying to you, and he decided that after that white lie, he would keep no more secrets from you, well, other than The Shade.

“My, y/n, thank you. That’s kind of you to think of me.”

You shuffle, weight shifting from foot to foot on his porch.

“Yeah, no worries. Since you are new to Nebraska, thought you’d like to know more. See ya around,”

You begin to turn down the stairs, when a hand comes to your shoulder, stopping you.

“Leaving so soon?”

“I wouldn’t dream of bothering you, Mr. Swift.”

“Richard,”

He corrects, and you roll your eyes playfully.

“Might I ask you a little favor?”

You swallow, intimidated by the man when he was so close.

“Sure,”

“Stay off that dreadful application.”

“What are you…oh. You saw?”

“Yes. You are a kind influence, you do not need to seek the comfort of those people, they’ll just corrupt you.”

A thought passes that he’s likely just looking out for you, yet, the indication on his face says otherwise. He’s…jealous?

Sure, dating apps had their ups and downs. The occasional bad apple, absolutely, you’d be the first to admit. Yet, it was something else you longed for, and it appeared the app was the only way to keep your mind off a certain someone else.

A certain unattainable someone else.

“Can’t help it, looking for someone to have on my arm,”

You joke, eyes drifting down to his hand that still latches on to your shoulder. The jest is to get the attention off your rosy cheeks, laughing softly as he pulls away, as if he’s been burned, yet still glowers down at you.

“Plenty of people who’d fancy your time,”

He fixes his collar, fiddling with his shirt.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the matter with me using a dating app?”

He’s wanting to tell you the truth, yet, it can’t ever seem to get past the first syllable.

“I think…agh, well, y/n. I’d like to fancy your time.”

He’s acting as if he’s awaiting your rejection.

“Oh…well, Richard,”

You start, smiling softly as you reach for his arm.

“I’d really like it if you would.”

[fixinglitg]

BOAT PARTY: IT CAN BE GOOD? Part 1

So Season 3 boat party, the last thing we would see added onto the old all before the game changed apps and started the proper downfall of quality.

I've played through it once before with Aj as my partner, and got back with her in the end. And it felt so unsatisfactory. Were any of the issues resolved? No. Did we really talk about it? No. Did it feel really anticlimactic? Yes.

So I decided I wanted to play it again, after years of not touching it, to see if I could make it good. Which meant not only doing something a little different, but also changing my whole original idea when I remembered that the route I'm doing currently was possible.

So let's get into this! And for once, I'm not even bothering with a disclaimer. Oh and there's multiple parts since I'm probably gonna use more than ten pictures so lmao.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

We start off the boat party with the usual questions and all, like who was your partner, did you split the money, are you living together, and what's your job.

And then you do a bit of customisation and pick a name.

Love this bitch.

Then, we get into the scene. It's raining in London, with a bit of a thunderstorm, and we're doing Lottie's personality quiz or something. I actually never read what it is, but I know I got meek mermaid. Whatever that means.

Then Lily enters with dinner, and things are going as good as they can momentarily (Lily was chosen because she's my least favourite LI so I wouldn't really feel much later on). And then, Lily and Gabriella start arguing.

I usually try to avoid conflict, so I go for the last option, but it ends up turning into the first anyways. It doesn't really solve anything anyways, because then the argument gets worse, until Lily leaves and doesn't make a sound for weeks.

Note: if you wanna see someone try and justify the reasons between the LIs conflict and why it's bigger than we think, go to this post by u/melaniekingswife

Then we get Nicky and Elle's text saying how they've got a surprise vacation (not so much a surprise anymore) planned out for them.

Gabe (since I cba to type out Gabriella every time) takes that as an opportunity to enjoy a break from the possible misery she's in, and packs her things. You then choose what swimsuit and fancy/everyday outfit you want before going to the yacht.

Now this part is really vague and all since it's the exact same for everyone's playthroughs, so I'm only really going into it when we get to the main attraction.

Finally, we're greeted by your best friend of the four options (I chose Elle) and you briefly say how things aren't going swimmingly well, but you're interrupted by Nicky saying how we need to get on the boat. Then you'll have three groups of people you can go see, I have no idea how relevant any of them are, so I won't go into that.

Soon enough, Gabe is approached by Nicky and Elle (Nicky shortly leaves again though) and they talk about the issues between Gabe and Lily.

And then we go to the cabin and come face to face with Lily.

During this whole segment, I try and choose the options that agree with her (mostly) since we're on holiday and I don't really have the time for some petty little arguments again. Lily mentions how she's going to find another cabin to sleep in, I say that that's cool, and then we get changed for the health and safety talk.

After that, we talk to Elle about everything properly, before we finally have everything off our chest, and ask how she is instead

Specifically wanted to add this in case no-one realised who I was talking about, currently I cannot for the life of me remember how to spell her name, and neither does my keyboard.

But then Nicky explains how we're going paddle boarding over the intercom, and we quickly switch to that scene.

And the more interesting stuff. See, though this side romance character you choose is the same for everyone (as in it's coded in the same way probably, I actually don't remember) it always feels different when you're with someone you actually like. And that's how the boat party could possibly actually be good. If we don't go back to original LI, and go to this new LI instead.

See most of the arguments at the beginning are pretty silly to turn into something massive. I think it's said that only Tai and Rafi's make sense. And I think that if you're going to have an argument like that? Over dishes? Or not being listened to? Or working out too much? Yeah, no. Any mature person would sit there and talk it out, not argue.

Back to paddle boarding though.

Lily partners up with Iona, slapping Gabe's thought of possibly partnering up out the window, so instead we have to choose another islander. Bill, Tai, and Ciaran aren't an option because they all have a partner (Bill and Miki, and Tai and Ciaran) but I was going with Aj anyways.

I totally wanted to say how much I just wanted her to steal me away instead, BUT I decided that I wanted to be respectful for an episode or two before properly starting the romance.

After a bit of a paddle board tutorial, we then finally get on the actual board itself, have some moments with Aj

Like I said, wanted to keep things respectful for this episode so I chose all the options that were mostly friendly.

Then there's a little moment when Aj says that this is romantic, and that we'd probably rather be with Lily right now.

And I think the best option here is to say "I don't want to compare" because you really shouldn't. Sure, you can take things that you learn from your previous relationships, but you shouldn't be comparing person A with person B. They're someone new, so take it that way.

And I think what Gabe says is correct. We're with Aj right now, we're enjoying ourselves, nothing else should really matter in that moment in time.

Though it's nice how considerate she is.

Then we race Nicky and Elle. I just wanted to add the second screenshot because I find it funny how Gabe looks like she's just came up with a master plan, but it's the most simple thing ever.

Anyways, juicy stuff continues in part 2! Once that's added, I'll link it at the bottom, along with parts following that. This was basically just the base storyline with a little interesting stuff at the end for the people who have never played this.

[demented-tours]

Patreon Update & Read Along News

There's a whole lot of updatin' goin' on.

SO! This will be attempt number 4921 for me to keep some kind of... blog? Journal? Update-thingum? We'll see how this goes. But with the world melting and social media pouring on the gasoline to that fire, I... Well. Shit. I have no idea why I'm here.

Let's try this again:

HI! I'm Dee. I'll be making a pinned post with all the relevant information at some point on here, but here and now, let's talk about Patreon & Read Alongs.

Back in the fandom day, I used to host online parties (back before we had decent apps to do so, I may add) and read my stories to groups of friends. Obviously, the parts people were most inclined to hear were the ones with all the adult themes. I was very happy to oblige.

Last weekend, I hosted a small, invite-only reboot of that on Discord. I read some not-yet-posted chapters of my fanfiction Let Freedom Bleed, and I recorded the chapters, too (I did this back in the old days, too). It went great (I think), and I also believe I could do it again.

So after having struggled through seven billion cycles of Patreon rewards, I think I've landed on tiers that might actually work for everybody AND give me sanity.

Or, well, okay - that last bit might be asking too much. It'll at least not detract from current levels of sanity, assuming some level of aforementioned sanity is, in fact, present.

Right - anyway, Patreon's been updated to include Discord Read Alongs. I'll be hosting those... eh... I'm aiming for every six weeks or so? Maybe more, maybe less - the holidays are coming, family is in crisis, so... There's a bit to plan around. But it'll happen on as frequent a basis as I can possibly manage.

Mostly I'm sharing to let anyone know and also just to say I'm excited about it all. I've missed a lot of the old crew, the old habits and fandom ways, and I just generally need more fun-for-fun's sake in my life.

Patreon link is here, for those interested. For those who aren't, we'll return to our regularly scheduled Queue of nature, men, sarcasm, and coping with chronic illness and neurodiversity momentarily.

All the baked goods of your choice, <3Dee

[squidd-ink]

A Child Covered in Blood [a short story]

Summary: A vampire's recollection of his childhood and how he (didn't) cope with having a thirst for blood.

Word count: about 1.6k

TW/CW: depersonalization!!!!!!, memory loss as a coping mechanism, excessive blood, child neglect, self harm(he bites his arm hard enough to draw blood but that's about it I think), hallucinations <- if there's anything I missed let me know

My OC's vampirism originates from a rare genetic mutation/defect he was born with, rather than from being turned. He eventually becomes a mass murderer, so don't feel too sorry for him, or do, I'm not in charge of you. I like how complex he is and writing about his suffering. This is written in the 3rd person and is very much like a stream of consciousness... I don't normally format my writing like this but I like the way it reads/flows (more so on mobile I suppose). This is still an incomplete story, but I ran out of motivation to write it a while back and it's at a good stopping point... So I thought that I mind as well post it instead of letting it rot in my notes app any longer than it has been. Maybe I'll continue it at some point.... but for now, enjoy what I have. :^]

[Story starts under the cut]

--

There was something unnatural about him. 

He knows this. 

There has not been, and would never be, anything “normal” about him. 

He knows this too. 

There’s not a day he isn’t reminded about it. 

His peculiarities. His untoward inclinations. 

He spent most his childhood years locked away in a room. Gnawing hunger.

He would be given food when his parents remembered. 

When they remembered that he was still their son. When they could momentarily forget the wild beast living inside of him.

It was like a parasite. 

The food they gave was nothing he could stomach. Not that he didn’t try.

The parasite was picky.

…

His parents had found him with a cat one day. He had claimed they were best friends.

The red was an impossible stain. 

That night he had dreams of tearing and warmth. Looking at raw steak made him feel ill and… something else. 

He felt full for the first time in his life.

His parents forbade him from asking where the cat went. He could never figure out why it left. 

His strange dreams wouldn’t go away. 

Sometimes he could see his best friend in them. 

Other times it was his mother or his father. A friend from school. The neighbor's dog.

He never knew what happened to the shirt he wore that day. Or why his parents can’t look him in the eye.

They cried when he asked what was wrong.

…

Almost a week after the disappearance of the cat his dreams started becoming more vivid.

More impossible stains. 

He couldn’t hear the neighbors dog barking anymore. He knew better than to ask.

He felt full again. The parasite was happy.

His parents were not happy. They were either very mad or sad. He didn’t know why.

He was locked away in the room not too long after. 

He lived miserably. The gnawing hunger was back.

He couldn’t tell if it was him or the parasite that was so hungry.

Which of them were aching for that feeling of fullness. 

…

He could see his school friends only when he slept. If he could.

Tearing. Ripping. Warm. 

Full.

His mother never asks how he is anymore. Conversations turn to whispers by the other side of the door.

He hasn’t talked with anyone in days. Weeks. Months.

He doesn’t know when days begin and end.

…

Eventually he has the most vivid dream yet. 

He wakes up calmer than he ever has.

Stains impossibly everywhere. Coating every kitchen tile. 

His breaths even. His mouth dry.

He feels ill. The memory of the raw steak pleasant in comparison.

His stomach hurts. 

He…

His stomach feels like it's devouring itself. 

He…

The parasite is still here. Gnawing hunger.

He…

Warmth. 

It fills his mouth. But it doesn’t taste right.

He spits it out. He lets go.

His arm throbs almost painfully. 

He is mesmerized by the way it drips. 

Staining the floor. His pants. His shirt. His face.

He hears his mother scream.

Drip.

He stares at her.

Drip.

His mother has never come into the room before.

Drip.

He wakes up with stained bandages on his arm.

His stomach still hurts.

…

He often sits in the room and imagines. 

If his best friend never left.

If the neighbor's dog still barked.

If his stomach didn’t hurt.

If the parasite would leave.

…

He found it harder and harder to discern between reality and dream as time went on.

He could feel the onset of delusion. Everything was stained. Impossibly so.

There was a man in his dreams that would talk to him. He could barely do more than look at him.

He was so lethargic. So hungry. His mouth so dry.

The man looked strange. Even with his warped sense of reality he could tell. 

There was something unnatural about him. The man.

The man brought him things. He couldn’t figure out how.

His stomach hurt. 

He didn’t know what the man wanted him to do with them.

A bird. A mouse. A fruit. A pencil. A notebook.

Sometimes the things would disappear. 

A fruit. A pencil. A notebook.

He always felt full again when they left. 

He finally had energy to do something other than lay on the ground. 

He picked up the pencil and the notebook. 

He drew the fruit. The man. The door. 

His dreams. 

His best friend. 

The neighbor's dog.

The bird.

The mouse. 

He would have drawn his parents too but he couldn’t remember what they looked like. The harder he tried the more of their faces he lost.

The floor was no longer stained. Covered now in ruled lines and graphite markings. 

…

Just when things were getting better the man disappeared too. 

He didn’t feel any more full though. Which distressed him.

His hunger came back. 

The parasite’s hunger. 

His artworks all over the floor only made the reappearance of the stains that much more stark.

He cried. He cried. He cried.

He mourned his best friend. Lost forever to him.

The only thing left was the now stained paper he had drawn on. 

The stains coloring the white page. Matting fur. 

Tearing. 

Warm.

The door opened.

He couldn’t let them step on the pages. The stains.

They were in the doorway. Staring at him.

He cried. 

They stared. Their faces blurred and rearranged.

Drip.

Pages were being soaked. Pages stained.

Drip.

His mother said something. An apology. 

Drip

The door closed.

He missed his best friend.

…

He woke one day to the door slightly ajar. 

His mind fuzzy.

The light beckoning.

He crawled to the opening. Squinting at the burning brightness. 

It was quiet. 

Unnaturally so.

The sounds he’d hear from behind the door missing. 

His throat too sore from screaming. Too tired from disuse. 

Only a strangled sort of sound could fall past his open lips. 

He doesn’t remember the last time he slept. He doesn’t remember the last time he talked with someone real. 

Not that he could tell the difference.

He came to a counter in the kitchen. It had a note. 

Scribbled. Quickly done loops. 

A smiley face drawn at the bottom.

“Be back soon!”

The rest too illegible to read. 

The rest too blurred.

The rest too impossibly stained.

His eyes struggling to make out the words. 

Impossibly red.

Words written in a handwriting he no longer recognizes. 

Inescapable red. Inevitable red.

He doesn’t know when it was written. 

Marking the counter. Indenting the pristine surface.

How long they have been gone for.

Marking where they weren’t. Were never.

They couldn’t have left too. 

He was floating in it all. Helpless.

He was too hungry for that. 

Pushed around by the current. Weak.

His stomach demanding far too much for that.

Dragged through the streams of impossibility.

None of it could be true. 

Of inescapability. Of Inevitability.  

He felt…

Like he wasn’t supposed to be here. 

The parasite beckoning. Prodding.

He felt… 

Something was wrong. 

Nausea building up. 

The parasite thrashing. Pounding. 

He felt… 

The earth heaving. 

He felt…

The ground giving out from underneath him.

He felt himself flying. Dropping down hundreds of feet in the air. 

He felt dizzy.

He was Deformed. Doomed since his birth.

His mind felt dizzy. 

He was unholy. Unwanted. 

Everything was spinning.

He was being spun around and around and around. 

He knows everything. 

He was spinning himself. The earth spinning. The room spinning.

He knows nothing. 

Everything was falling. He was falling.

He knew he was hungry. 

Everything consumed. Eaten up.

Knew it was in the way it too was ever hungry.

The world purifying itself.

The parasite sustains itself in one way or another.

…

He wakes on the ground. Cold seeping into him from the tile floor.

A ceiling he had let fade from his memory trickled its way back in. 

The warm colors. The faded yellow. 

The bright indecipherable color that lined the flower pots. She cared deeply for them.

He could only notice that they were empty. That they had wilted away. 

He couldn’t remember why he was here. 

Why he was on the cold tile floor. 

…

Soon enough the strange man makes another appearance.

He is aimless. Wandering. 

Unable to leave. 

Corrupting it all. Smearing dirt on its walls.

The man asked him something. 

Does he want to leave.

Does he?

Can he?

He doesn’t know. Couldn’t possibly know.

An impossible question. 

Impossibly red.

He asks when they’ll be back.

The man laughs. 

It was cackled. Cracked. 

A stuttered hiss of a faulty kettle. 

Unnerving only in the way something unnaturally familiar was. 

Familiar in the way everything was now to him. Just outside of reach.

He was inhabiting a place. A house filled with memories. 

Memories he knew were his own. Theirs. 

He could not remember. 

He did not know. Doesn’t. Couldn’t. 

The man looms over him. Amusement gleaming in his inhuman eyes.

He is uncomfortable. Inexplicably so.

Inexplicably red.

The man's sharp teeth glinting. 

The man's skin unnaturally grey. Somehow it is filled with more life than his own.

He never noticed before. How utterly strange this man was the first time they met.

The man tells him something. 

“They will be back. Tonight most likely.

“Go back to the room. Or don’t.

“Close the door. I can lock it.

“They won’t be back for long. 

“Not if you don’t follow my instructions.

“Do you understand me boy?”

He did. 

He was…

Angry.

Sad.

Hopeful.

Compliant.

He closed himself back in the room. Heard the lock turn.

The man appeared next to him. Sharp teeth barred in some kind of smile.

He sat down. 

He sat down and waited for sound to return to the other side of the door. 

[angelsleepinggurl]

𝐒𝟏:𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟒

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

As the day winds down in Nanami's office, Naaila's voice cuts through the hum of printers and shuffling papers, coming from the phone pressed to your cheek by your shoulder. Piles of paper occupy your hands as you teeter from one side of Nanami's office to the other. 

"So, what do you wanna do after work?" Naaila asks.

Pausing, you unload the paperweight onto a nearby surface. Leaning against the expansive window, you look out of the office window wall with a panoramic view of the city skyline.  The sunlight paints the room with a golden hue, causing a wave of sleepiness to slowly start to wash over you.

"Indian food sounds good to me," you suggest, breaking momentarily from the office's cinematic view. Seating yourself on one of the plush leather sofas tucked away in the corners of the office, you let the stress of work fly away, taking a moment to yourself. 

Naaila, being the sociable person she is has very different plans and means for the night. "What if," she starts, leaving a moment of silence to let her suggestion steep in the air, "we maybe went out tonight. You know, you and me, a little girl time." Naaila's liveliness and itch to party all night long heavily contrast with your laid-back nature. Your mind fills with countless instances to which you've been forced to go out just for the sake of her, but you don't mind it too much, it's all to make your best friend happy.

"I don't know, Naaila. I'm not feeling it tonight," you begin, your words met with her forceful interjection. 

"We haven't been out in ages," she whines like a toddler begging for a toy.

"Naaila, I—" She cuts you off again, determined to sway your decision.

"But we really need this, and it's been so long."

"I can't tonight."

"Is it because you're trying to impress your boss, or iare you really tired?" She presses.

"I genuinely can't." The printer, which has started being uncooperative too starts to aggrevate you. Your finger harshly punching the button on the machine. "Well, look at it this way. This is an opportunity for you to get back out there, and go on a date or two. " you suggest in an attempt to keep her happy.

There's a harshness in her voice when she tells you, "I don't want to go on a date."

"Ooh I see."

"See what? What do you see?"

"Ever since you've been hanging around that Gojo guy, you've been different. " you explain, a mischievous tone laced in your voice. 

"What do you mean different? I haven't been anything but the same."

Her defensive tone doesn't stop you from taunting her, "Well, you aren't even trying to go on a date for fun anymore. What happened to all those dating apps on your phone?" 

"They were taking up my storage and besides I told you."

"Hmm, sure," you tease, your persistence unwavering.

"You're insufferable."

"Love you too," You quip, a parting ding echoing through the phone as you end the call between the both of you. You turn around, face to face with the troublesome printer. A couple of beeps and boops before the printer flashes an irritating "ERROR" code, as if your day can't get even more irksome, it doesn't take long before your attention is torn away from it though. 

"Nanamin?" An unfamiliar voice, sounding alarmingly young for anyone in this building. Your head whips around and behind you stands three kids hovering around the door. The boy in front with pale pink hair and two other people peering from behind him. The boy's first words being 'Nanamin' catch you off guard, nearly missing it. 

"Who?" You ask but apparently, your words don't travel far, as they go back to talking amongst themselves.

"I told you he wasn't gonna be here." Another voice adds, a not-so-quiet 'tsk'  is said. 

"Who are you looking for?" You ask again.

"Nanami." Realisation dawns on you, clarifying why the boy mispronounced your boss's last name. 

"He went for a break. He'll be back—," you begin to explain, only to be interrupted by a new wave of confusion. "I'm sorry, how did you guys get in here?" The question lingers, as the puzzle of these three kids infiltrating the office without any challenge baffles you.

"We asked the people at the reception," the pink-haired boy replies nonchalantly.

"See guys, I told you we weren't meant to be here." A new unfamiliar voice adds.  The kids are still looming around the door, and feeling bad for kicking them out is not something you really want to have to deal with.

You motion for them to come into the office, "It's fine, you guys can just wait here till he arrives." The three kids walk further into the room, looking around the spacious place, with gold lining occasionally appearing. They soon find themselves seated on one of the plush couches past the partition in the room. Instead of spreading out, they all sit on the same one, probably not feeling comfortable enough to do so. Then silence.

 The trio venture further into the room, their eyes absorbing the lavish, gold linings which glisten underneath the sun's evening glow. They soon find themselves seated on one of the plush couches in the room. Instead of spreading out, they all sit on the same one, probably not feeling comfortable enough to do so. Then the room descended into silence.

As you resume your battle with the insufferable printer, the kids mirror your silence. As an adult, you should initiate small talk or spark a conversation to life to alleviate the awkwardness. But do you really have to be an adult all the time? Internally sighing, you clear your throat preparing to speak.

"So, like, are you his secretary?" The pink-haired boy breaks the silence, his voice carrying a youthful curiosity.

"Kinda, I'm his personal assistant," you clarify, pausing your task to actively listen to them.

"Ooh," Itadori sighed in understanding.

Curiosity gets the better of you and you blurt out the pressing question in your mind, "How do you guys know Mr. Nanami?" 

"He's friends with our teacher. " The girl present responds, her hand propping up her chin on the armrest and her bob-length brown hair falling in front of her face slightly.

"Is anyone even friends with him?" The last boy retorts, his scepticism echoing through the room. He sits, laid back, looking off distantly, a negative tilt to the corners of his mouth. 

"You guys don't like your teacher huh?" You chuckle a little, remembering the days you were in high school and despised your teachers. They all collectively chime in, a couple of " He's so annoying." or "He's so dumb." being the most distinguishable comments.

"You know what's so crazy, you look like some sort of celebrity." The brunette states, squinting her eyes at you. The pink-haired boy next to her exclaims explaining how he "thought that too." The two go back and forth naming celebrities you could look like. "What about ______ ?" The brunette looks at him dumbfounded.

"No she doesn't she- wait actually, 'cause they kinda have the same lips." she adds, the both of them attentively analysing your facial features, causing

 a warm flush to rise to your face from the unexpected spotlight.

"Kugisaki, Itadori stop suffocating her please." the two teens sit back, in synch, eyes still glued to you. You give a polite smile to the boy who offered to break it up. Before you can ask them another question, the door opens and in walks Mr. Nanami who steps back a little bit from surprise at seeing the teens in his office. 

"You're finally here Nanamin." The pink-haired boy says standing up and walking towards the confused blond, who just hums in response. Nanami looks at you and the two of you lock eyes from across the room.

"I see you've met Itadori and his friends," he remarks, now standing next to the boy.

"Well, yeah," you respond, a hint of hesitance lingering in your voice.

I guess I haven't met them entirely; I don't know their names.

"We totally forgot," the brunette admits. "My name is Kugisaki Nobara, he's Fushiguro Megumi, and he's Itadori Yuuji." You nod slowly

trying your best to keep everyone's names to memory.

"I'm L/N Y/N, pleasure to meet you all."

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫…

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (1) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues...

Rating: M -> E in later chapters

Warnings: fem!reader, age gap (legal), praise kink, voice kink, discussion of addiction/PTSD/trauma, no use of y/n, no beta reader, reader is bad at Spanish, Frankie has a sexy voice 😩

Masterlist here

AN: My first fic. Pedro writers have inspired me to finally start writing again 🥺. Concept inspired by the movie RED. I hope you like it ❤️Set after triple frontier.

Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time he called was an ordinary Thursday.

“Veterans Affairs, how can I help you?”

You had been working at the VA office for about two weeks. Fresh out of college you felt lucky to have a job in the first place. You went to school to be a writer but your big idea for 'The Next Great American Novel' had yet to present itself. At least here you had access to the most inspiring stories and interesting people. Men and women who had seen more and done more than you probably would in your entire life. You loved talking to clients on the phone. It was weird but something about only being able to hear people’s voices excited you. You would sometimes write little stories in your head about the people you'd talk to, filling in the details that were unknown.

Your desk accessories reflected your love of books and writing. You had your growing collection of books sitting on your desk sandwiched between baby pink bookends. Next to them was a matching desk organizer filled with your favorite sparkly pens and sticky notes. You had decorated the plain cubicle walls with posters of quotes from your favorite books. You also brought your favorite candle from home. Even though you couldn’t light it you still liked to lift it to your nose once and a while and smell it between chapters. When you weren’t on the phone or scanning documents you would read. You finished To Kill A Mockingbird in your first week on the job and were now halfway through Murder on the Orient Express.

You were starting a new chapter when Frankie Morales called the first time.

You picked up the phone on the second ring already mustering your chipper 'customer service' voice. “Veterans affairs.” You stated your name. “How may I help you?”

“H-Hi. My name is Frankie- uh-Francisco Morales." A deep voice answered you. "I’m calling because I have gotten my benefits check yet. It’s been a month. I was hoping you could tell me if it got sent?”

“Okay Mr. Morales." You flipped on the computer. "Let me check. Can you spell your last name for me?”

“M-o-r-a-l-e-s”

“Okay... let's see.” You clicked on his account. You were momentarily distracted by his picture likely taken when he graduated basic if you had to guess based off the uniform. He looked sweet. Sharp nose and strong jaw balanced by kind eyes and a shy smile. You could imagine how age would continue to soften his expression making him even more handsome. The image was a strange juxtaposition to the voice you were hearing on the phone which was much deeper and rougher. His profile said he was special forces. A pilot. The rest of the information was blacked out. Something you were used to seeing on many people's accounts but even his years of service were redacted. He must have been involved in some dangerous stuff, you thought to yourself. The dates that were not redacted were mostly in Latin America. You clicked over to processing requests. “Looks like the check got sent one week ago.” You informed him.

"I'll look again but I haven't seen anything-" It sounded like he was apologizing when clearly it was not his fault.

"No no. It's probably a mistake on our end." You interrupted. With how shitty and outdated the payroll interface was you wouldn't be surprised if there was a mix up. "I’ll go ahead and let payroll know to send another."

"Great. Thanks." He replied sounding relieved. The roughness in his voice gave way to a smooth baritone.

“No problem. I'm sorry for any inconvenience it may have caused. We'll get it sent right away." You hoped he was not relying on this benefit check for anything important. While you could promise you'd fix the problem, the administration was notoriously slow. When he didn't respond you asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. Morales?”

“Uh-no" The roughness back in place. "Thank you." He paused before adding your name onto his thank you which made you smile. People usually never remembered your name.

“Alright. Have a nice day and thank you for your service.” You chirped before hanging up. The smile he put on your face lingered for a few minutes as you returned to your book.

The next time he called was exactly twelve days later.

“Veterans affairs” you answered, your routine greeting cut short as your eyes were still on your book.

“Hi- I’m calling because uh I still haven’t gotten my benefits check. This is Frankie Morales.”

“Oh Mr. Morales.” You recognized his voice even before he even said his name. You quickly shut your book, pushing your hair out of your face. Had you been thinking about him? No! Okay maybe you stared at his picture for a few minutes longer after he hung up. Yes, it was probably very unprofessional but you couldn't fight the curiosity. You were trying to rationalize the contrasting sharpness and softness of his features with his voice. How it all worked together. How one person's voice could change textures and colors so easily. You wondered what kind of things this man might have seen on the job. Most of the veterans you would help day to day did not have so many redacted missions and deployments. You were in the middle of Narcos season one so you immediately thought of drugs or something equally dangerous. After much pondering, you had come to the conclusion that Frankie Morales was both insanely attractive and insanely courageous. “Still no check, huh?”

“Nope.” He sighed the sound making the phone's shitty speaker crackle as you held it to your ear.

“Let me just check that it was approved...“ you found his profile again and scrolled to the status page. “Hmm... it says it was sent out last Friday after we spoke. That’s so weird...”

“Yeah. Really weird.” He echoed your frustration on the other end.

Typical payroll, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes. “I'll get another one sent to you right away. I'll see to it myself.” You tucked the phone under your chin and typed out a short email to Mary in payroll letting her know you'd be stopping by her office to explain the situation. You realized he hadn't hung up yet.

“Sorry for the back and forth.” You said, trying to fill the silence.

“It’s not your fault." The earlier irritation gone. "You’ve been really helpful.” His voice sounded warm and reassuring. Less gruff than it was last you spoke. Instead it was that rich baritone that you caught of glimpse of last time.

You feel your face warm at his compliment. It was this annoying reflex you had. Praise always made you blush no matter what context but it was worse when it came from a (you assume) gorgeous stranger.

“And just to verify that your address is correct- you’re on Maple Lane in Miami, Florida?”

“That’s right.” He confirmed.

“Okay. Sent!” You clicked send on the email, which caused the window to close and reveal Frankie’s profile page again. “I was curious-" You spoke before you really made the decision to speak. You didn’t want to overstep but once again your curiosity got the better of you. Honestly, you were just searching for a way to keep him on the phone. The day had been so boring.

“Your profile says you were stationed in Costa Rica.”

“For a bit.” He replied after a moment. He didn’t sound too defensive but there was definitely some tightness in his answer that made you feel bad for asking. Like you were scratching a wound.

“Did you like it? The country I mean.”

“Are you planning a trip?” He sounds a little amused.

“Yeah- well- kind of. It's more a trip in my head right now. I’d like to go there one day. It looks so beautiful.” You sighed closing your eyes trying to imagine the heat on your skin.

“It is." He agrees. "Really humid though.”

“Mm that sounds nice.” You would kill for some warm weather after such a long winter in DC.

“It was too muggy for me at times." He grumbled. "If you do go, stick to the costal areas where it’s more breezy or else you’ll just be sweating the whole time.”

“I don’t mind a little sweat” you shrugged, still thinking of the awful east coast winter you were currently suffering through. The sexual connotation of what you said hit you hard as soon as you heard the statement in its entirety. You felt your face flush again, though the man on the other end would never know.

“I’m learning Spanish!" You announced loudly trying to move the conversation past your awkwardness.

“Wow. Muy impressivo.”

“Si” you replied but after a moment you admit “I don’t really know what you said.”

Frankie laughed loudly on the other end and you couldn’t help but join in, drawing dirty looks from the elderly lady, Donna, working in the cubicle across from you. You ducked your head behind a stack of papers to avoid her glare.

“Fake it till you make it.” He chuckled.

“Maybe you should help me out.” You took on an indigent but still playful tone. “You sound better than duolingo” Your smile widened when he laughed again. His laugh was what you hoped it would be, by all your assumptions from his picture. It was an unencumbered, unburdened, rich sound with only a hit of roughness from the air behind it.

“Tell me you’re not using that dumb app to learn.” he scoffed, saying your name in an almost scolding tone.

“I’m got my thirty day streak today.” You boasted.

“You’ll be a total tourist if you go by duolingo.”

“But the owl is so cute every time I get something right!” You argued your voice taking on a more childish cadence.

“That’s how they trap you, silly girl.” He teased right back. Usually such a condescending nickname would piss you off but something about the affection behind him using it made you feel very differently. You felt warm like you were proud to be silly as long as it made him laugh.

“Then you saved me just in time, Mr. Morales.” You bit your lip. His scoffing and laughter died down on the other end.

“Frankie” He corrects you.

“Frankie…” You repeated it, smiling at how well the nick name suited the voice over the phone. Honest, sincere, and not pretentious at all. Way better than the pompous guys you know with equally stuffy names like “Edward” and “Christopher.”

“So what do you want to know?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts. “Dime”

You started asking him questions in Spanish to the best of your ability. Granted they weren't particularly probing questions. What is your name? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite animal? What's your favorite book? I am reading Gone Girl. He answered them all with patience and amusement, occasionally interrupting you to correct your pronunciation or explain what a word meant. Every time you’d repeat the word back correctly he would say something like “good” or “there you go” or “you got it”. You hated to admit that his kind words and his praise was doing something to you. You didn't even realize you were clenching your legs together unconsciously, almost in anticipation of his next correction or next answer. His low voice so sweet and encouraging against your ear, more tangible when he was speaking Spanish. You just wanted to hear more of it. Would it be this sweet in other situations? Would it get huskier or rougher? If you closed your eyes it was like he was sitting right next to you. It would be all too easy to slip into that daydream and escape the dull office.

Suddenly out of the corner of your drooping eyes you saw a flashing red light on the phone console meaning another caller was waiting.

“Shoot- i’m sorry, Frankie- I have to take this call.” You shot forward in your chair, legs uncrossing.

“Of-Of course. I should let you get back to work.” He sounded a little sad or so you hoped. You felt bad for interrupting him after you both were having so much fun. You wanted to say he could wait on hold but he killed that idea when he said, "I have work too. Technically I'm five minutes past my lunch break."

Your pout turned to a smile. He was spending his precious lunch break with you? Get a grip! you snapped at yourself.

“You’re welcome to call again if you want.” You threw out the offer in a small voice, scared you would be rejected. You peered over the cubicle wall to see if you were still being glared at. Thankfully Donna was away from her desk. Probably out for a smoke. “It’s really boring here and usually no one calls.”

“Maybe I will.” He replied and you could hear the smile behind those words. You felt your heart clench weirdly in your chest like it didn't know how to process the sudden spike in emotions.

“Bye, Frankie.” You beamed.

“Bye”

This time the smile on your face lasted for hours. Frankie’s laugh echoed around in your head, taunting you, sending your mind to the gutter. His voice went from grit to molasses on a dime. You wanted to be the one to bring out those sounds. You wanted to hear his voice bend and stretch and strain as you fucked him. What the hell is wrong with me? you screamed internally. You had never been so depraved and with a stranger no less! You clearly needed to get laid fast because this much yearning would not end well.

Frankie got the second VA check a few days later and this time he didn’t even feel bad about ripping it in half. He was already reaching for the phone to call you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: Message to be added 💕 no minors please!

[queenshelby]

Roommates – Part Seven

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 4,241

Warning: Smut

Note: This plays in 2020.

In the dark, you began to search for your phone to shine some light and, as you were reaching for the bedside table, your hands brushed Cillian a couple of time until you found it.

‘You were saying?’ you chuckled as you turned the little light on your phone on, flashing it towards Cillian.

‘It’s difficult Y/N’ Cillian then said, covering his eyes and you simply nodded.

‘That’s just life sometimes Cilly. I am sure you will find your way with whoever she is’ you then said, caressing his cheek gently before standing up.

‘Remember the last time we were in a blackout together?’ Cillian then asked, causing you to nod.

‘Oh my god yes. It was at your holiday house in Kerry and Danielle was freaking out, thinking that we will never get back to civilisation’ you laughed, remembering that night very well.

‘She was high so I can see how this happened’ Cillian laughed, before turning on the light on his phone as well.

‘Well, I don’t have any Weed but there is a whole bottle of red wine in the kitchen and a cabinet full of board games’ you suggested before gathering some candles while Cillian lid the fireplace in the living room for some extra light.

After you threw a few blankets and pillows down in front of the fireplace and Cillian eventually found his reading glasses, you started with some Scrabble but, usurpingly, after you finished half of the bottle of red wine, this soon became too difficult when you made one spelling mistake after another.

‘You are hopeless’ Cillian eventually observed as he won again, using the most absurd words he could think off after you only scored some points with words like ‘Soup’ and ‘Breasts’.

‘Well, how about a game that I am good at, huh?’ you laughed as you pulled out the Twister mat.

‘You don’t think that we are a little too tipsy for Twister?’ Cillian laughed, remembering that, the last time you played this game drunk, he ended up with four stitches.

‘Nope! I will catch you if you fall’ you chuckled as you started to warm up and opened up the ‘Twister-For-Two’ App on your iPhone which was giving you both directions with thirty second intervals.

‘Jesus, I am getting too fucking old for this’ Cillian said before getting into position, showing off his strong legs which immediately caused you to bite your lips. The fact that he wasn’t wearing anything but his black briefs and a grey t-shirt certainly was an incentive for you.

Left foot blue!

He was certainly getting an easy start, at least so he thought.

Right hand yellow!

But clearly, he was wrong when he watched you bend over right in front of him wearing your rather short Pyjamas featuring Bambi.

‘Interesting clothing choice’ Cillian chuckled as Bambi was staring right at him, covering your deliciously round ass.

‘Get your eyes off my ass Murphy’ you laughed but, deep down inside you didn’t mind him staring at you.

After just five minutes, both of your hands and feet were on the mat and so were Cillian’s.

By this point, Cillian and you had managed to thoroughly tangle yourselves together in a laughing mess and, at right foot yellow, Cillian accidentally bumped your breast. Slightly surprised, you took little notice.

Cillian on the other hand began to struggle as, once again, his manhood began to stir.

‘Seriously?’ he thought to himself as, just moments earlier, he couldn’t get himself into the mood with Lindsay and now that he wanted to prevent exactly this from happening, he couldn’t and was hard as a rock.  

At right hand green, things had become too much for him as you had to slide your right hand along Cillian’s inner thigh on your way to green. As you slowly moved into position, you got a glimpse of what was happening in between Cillian’s legs but yet, you pretended that you didn’t notice his erection.

‘Fuck, that’s it, you won. My back is sore’ Cillian suddenly huffed out, standing up abruptly before walking to the kitchen.

You couldn’t help but grin as Cillian shouted out to see whether you wanted another glass of wine.

‘Yes please’ you giggled rather pleased with yourself but still, you thought that it was simply the friction that aroused him.

‘Do you want another game?’ you asked when he returned with two full glasses and, unsurprisingly, Cillian shook his head which is when you began talking.

You talked about almost everything and anything for about thirty minutes while sitting on the blanket together in between the scented candles and the fireplace.

By this point Cillian’s erection had subsided and you were curious as to whether it was you who caused it in the first place or whether it was something else.

‘Despite the blackout and you breaking it off with Lindsay, I thought that tonight was really fun’ you eventually observed after you finished your glass of wine

‘Well, you are a lot of fun to be around which makes it pretty easy’ Cillian said, finishing off his wine as well.

He smirked and shrugged. His eyes dropped and he started to trace a design on the crumpled blanket with his finger as if he wanted to say something else.

‘Can you ask you a question?’ you then asked out of the blue after having built up some courage.

‘Of course’ Cillian responded as his eyes lifted to yours, and you almost lost your nerve.

‘You, uhm, seemed to have enjoyed the game of Twister a lot more than I had anticipated’ you said, biting your lip nervously while looking down at his crotch.

Cillian immediately blushed, the flush spreading down his neck and the top of his muscular chest. Mortified, he looked at you with wide eyes and his right hand rose to his forehead.

‘Oh, god, Y/N…I am so sorry, it’s just that…the wine…and….’ Cillian shuddered nervously, realising that you saw his arousal and, before he could finish his sentence, you quickly leaned forward and placed a hand on his chest, just above the collar of his t-shirt where some of his chest hair was sticking out. Your palm tingled against the soft spatter of hair there.

‘Cillian, don't! I didn't mean to embarrass you’ you suddenly blurted out as you felt bad that you had, but also stimulated at the thought that you might have aroused him and that, perhaps, it wasn’t just a coincidence.

You were suddenly very aware of the soft, warm skin beneath your hand, and the warm wetness in your panties.

‘I promise you'll never say anything about it again, I just...I have to know...was it friction from the game, or was it, you know...me?’ you then asked, retreating you hand momentarily from his chest and squinting your eyes nervously.

Cillian sighed heavily and grabbed your hand, placing it back against his chest after you leaned away a little. His heart was racing, and you thought yours might pound straight out of your ribcage.

‘It wasn't the friction Y/N’ he then admitted and your breath caught in your throat.

‘I don’t know what it was or what it is, but I know it’s you. I am attracted to you’ Cillian then explained, causing you to grin excitedly.

‘So, when you just got aroused, what did you think about’ you asked as you played with his chest hair.

‘Y/N, we’ve been friends for so many fucking years and I don’t want to ruin this’ Cillian said almost embarrassed and you cut him off again.

‘Yes, and friends tell each other the truth. So, tell me, what was on your mind just then on the Twister mat?’ you asked, causing Cillian to sigh heavily again.

‘I was wondering what you would taste like’ Cillian said almost heavy hearted, admitting his desire for you before apologising for it.

Your heart felt like it stopped. Your entire body tingled, and warmth spread through your belly, snaking straight between your legs. This could absolutely be a dream.

‘Why don't you kiss me and find out?’ you said with husky voice as you moved your face closer to his.

With no hesitation, Cillian’s free hand moved around the back of your neck as his full lips met yours.

Your eyes closed and you opened your mouth, allowing his soft tongue to explore. He pulled you in and kissed you harder while you wrapped your arms around him to run your hands along his back and shoulders.

This continued for quite some times with neither of you being able to let go of the other as you smiled, kissed and moaned into each other’s mouths. Eventually, Cillian wound his hand in your long hair and broke the kiss to move his mouth to your ear.

As it was, you moaned, you shivered, and you dug your nails into his back. Your enthusiastic response drove him to be even more aggressive. He pushed you onto your back and rolled on top of you, the growing bulge in his briefs pressing directly into the spreading wetness between your legs. You gasped at the gratifying sensation.

Cillian pushed himself onto his palms, concerned.

‘This will change everything between us. Do you want this?’ Cillian asked.

‘I wanted this for over a fucking month Cillian. If you don’t fuck me now, I will never forgive you’ you huffed out almost breathlessly and slightly tipsy, causing Cillian to chuckle.

Of course, he wanted it as badly and as much as you did, but he was still somewhat worried about your long-lasting friendship and thought that, ideally, you should both be talking about this first. You needed to clarify what this was and what you were going to become after you slept with each other.

But the wine and his raging erection eventually got the better of him and you immediately wrapped your arms around him to keep him on top of you.

You ground your hips into his and forced his lips to yours, bringing his full weight back to your waiting body. His hot mouth made it back to your neck and ears, and you moaned again, biting your lip in an attempt to stifle the noises he was eliciting from you. He propped himself up on one forearm and began to explore your eager body with his other hand.

He was teasing you, tauntingly caressing you through the thin pyjamas shirt you wore. You writhed beneath his palm, wanting more. His hair wasn't long, but long enough that you could wind your fingers into it and guide his ear into your mouth.

You toyed with it, tracing it with your tongue, sliding the lobe between your teeth, enjoying hearing his breath get heavier and feeling his cock getting harder as he kneaded your breast through the t-shirt. Then he stopped.

‘Y/N’ Cillian huffed out, causing you to enquire why he stopped.

‘I saw you, earlier in the bath when you were masturbating’ he admitted.

‘You looked away though didn’t you?’ you smirked, causing him to shake your head.

‘I am sorry’ he said and you immediately grinned.

‘Did you enjoy watching me?’ you then asked as you raised an eyebrow and panted, rubbing yourself against him.

‘What do you think?’ Cillian chuckled before asking you what you were listening to on your headphones.

‘An audio book you narrated’ you smirked and he looked dumbfounded, which in turn surprised you, considering what he'd said to start all of this.

‘What can I say Cillian, you’ve got a goodman sexy voice’ you admitted before you pushed him off of you and sat up on your knees, peeling off your shirt to reveal your pierced breasts.

He sat, slack jawed, legs outstretched before doing the same with his t-shirt.

‘So many freckles’ you observed before you went further and hooked your thumbs around the waistband of your Bambi panties.

‘Since you already watched me masturbate, there are no more secrets for me to reveal in so far as my body is concerned’ you smirked as you slowly inched them past your hips, leaving you completely naked.

Cillian’s jaw dropped nonetheless. His eyes were hungry and he reached for his own briefs and removed them as well.

‘Well, unfortunately for you, I had no secrets to start off with. You’ve seen it all already’ Cillian said as he gave you a familiar, lop-sided grin that exposed his teeth. So gorgeous.

‘And I love seeing it all again’ you huffed out as your mouth watered at the sight of his erection. But, instead of letting him climb back on top of you, you firmly pressed your naked body against his chest and then straddled his taut body and kissed him soundly.

His hands roamed your body freely, exploring your legs, your back, your breasts, your ass. He caressed and kneaded, he stroked and fondled, all the while kissing your mouth and neck and ears.

‘Oh god Cillian’ you moaned as you ground your clit into his erection, whimpering in pleasure and whispering his name over and over again, something which sounded rather familiar to him.

After placing soft kisses across your neck, he cupped your breasts and rubbed circles on your rigid pierced nipples with his large thumbs, making you tremble. With his gaze boring into yours, he lifted each breast to his lips and gently nuzzled your nipples before gently tugging on each of your piercings.

‘Don't stop...please don't stop’ you moaned as you rode him harder, begging breathlessly and he wasn’t event inside of your yet. The only friction you got was on your clit against his very hard cock.

Cillian complied with your request and fixed his soft lips around a pink areola, sucking hard as he manipulated the firm nub and your piercing with his tongue. It pushed you over the edge and you came with a low moan, your fingers digging roughly into his scalp.

Keeping one hand around his neck, you slumped back onto his muscular thighs and tried to catch your breath.

‘Did you just cum?’ he asked rather surprised and you nodded, unable to say more.

‘Fuck, that is incredibly hot’ he said as his mouth hung open while he looked at you expectantly, and you knew him well enough that he was wondering if your orgasm meant you were done playing.

‘The tension building up over the past month was just too much, but please don’t dare think that I am done with you yet’ you smirked and Cillian mirrored your wicked smile and kissed you deeply until you placed both hands on his chest and pushed him onto his back.

He resisted at first, eager to keep touching you. Finally he relented and propped himself up with one hand behind his head, watching you as you kissed and licked and sucked your way across his muscular chest and stomach again and again.

Any time you came to his nipples, his eyes pinched tight and his hips involuntarily jerked toward you. You pressed your slight body down onto his rigid cock, making him emit a deep, guttural moan. It was all you could do not to impale your wet pussy on the willing flesh, but you were enjoying the anticipation far too much.

You slid your body down on his, his freckled skin a striking contrast against your much darker tan. While you made your decent, you briefly thought again about just climbing onto him and lowering your wet, ready pussy onto his very hard cock, but you decided that as late as it was, it was still early enough in the night to do everything you wanted. And you wanted to make him come in your mouth just as you had fantasised for weeks.

When you finally reached your destination, Cillian’s cock, was standing at attention in your hands. It was so long and thick that it made your small hands look positively tiny in comparison. You ran them up and down the length of his shaft, taking the time to trace every line and curve carefully.

‘Fuck, Y/N, this feels so fucking good’ Cillian groaned as he watched you with hooded eyes and you started stroking him more rhythmically. His head rolled back, his hips jutted forward, and you couldn't contain yourself any longer.

You inhaled all that you could at once, which admittedly wasn't much considering all that remained. You pulled your head back, sucking hard, and went down for another try, and another, and another, gorging on a little more of his shaft each time.

‘Jesus Christ’ Cillian groaned again loudly as you finally managed to take all of his length and he bottomed out against the back of your throat.

You grinned as you accomplished what you had hoped and began bobbing your head up and down his shaft.

Occasionally, you snuck glances at his face when you could; sometimes he was staring at you fixedly, his mouth pinched to a narrow line, other times his eyes were screwed tight.

‘Y/N, I am close, fuck, you need to stop’ you eventually heard him weakly say as you continued to pleasure him with your lips and tongue.

But, instead of stopping, you looked him straight in the eyes and took his cock deeper down your mouth.

‘Y/N, fuck’ he groaned, trying to delay his release until he realised that this was what you wanted as you continued to suck him eagerly.

Eventually, with another loud groan, his entire body tensed and you could feel his sweet cum spurt into the back of your throat. Rope after rope, you drank every drop and, when he finally came down from his high, you gently licked him clean and he sat up and pulled you into his lap, kissing you deeply.

‘You just kissed me after you came in my mouth’ you observed when your lips drifted apart which is something James, the only man you had ever been with before tonight, would never have done.

‘Does that bother you?’ Cillian asked concerned and you shook your head.

‘No, I think its fucking sexy’ you blurted out before kissing him again and, just as you did, you felt his erection reviving underneath your ass almost immediately.

While sucking on your tongue, his large hands grabbed around your waist and rolled you over on the blanket beside him.

He crawled over you and stuck his tongue in your ear, making you claw at his back until he whispered ‘When I said that I wanted to know what you taste like, I meant that I wanted to eat your pussy.’

This was probably the dirtiest thing you ever heard him say to you and you liked it a lot and wiggled out from underneath him just enough to spread your legs provocatively.

His breath on your legs, coupled with his revelation that he had been fantasising about licking you, made you quiver. He slowly kissed the inside of your thighs, occasionally brushing your soaking mound with his nose or his lips. You relished every second and it wasn’t long until he locked your gaze and pressed his tongue flat against your vulva.

‘Oh god yes, Cillian, fuck’ you moaned out as he was licking and sucking you.

He covered your labia and clitoris in wet kisses before sticking his tongue deep inside you, causing you to scream out louder than ever before.

As he continued to pleasure you, one of your hands was buried in his hair, tearing at it as he made your body go crazy whilst the other clenched against the blanket beneath you.

You remembered what Laura had said and there certainly was some truth to it. He was good, very good and it wasn't long before you'd built into another orgasm, but you didn't feel the need to warn him beforehand.

‘Oh, my fucking god’ you shouted out eventually as his wicked tongue sent you over the edge and your legs began to shake crazily while he pinned you down.

No man had ever made you cum with his tongue alone and the sensitivity on your clit following your orgasm was overwhelming and made you squirm.

Still, he continued to ply his tongue into your sensitive folds until you used both hands to pry his head back by his hair. He grinned from ear to ear, and you knew you were paying for teasing him earlier.

Languidly, he pulled his body over yours, pausing to kiss you here and there while you regained a little composure. His breath was heavy when he found himself at your ear again.

‘I want to be inside you’ he whispered and you nodded fervently.

He raised himself to his knees, his erection again at full mast. You felt a momentary twinge of nervousness. He was bigger than James and this worried you just a little.

‘Do you want me to go and get a condom?’ Cillian asked and you knew that he kept some upstairs in his bedside table which, ironically, Lindsay had bought for him.

‘No, I am on the pill. I want to feel you, all of you’ you said, biting your lips with anticipation.

This was all Cillian needed to hear and, within seconds, he lined himself up you’re your soaking wet entrance.

He knew that you had never been with another man other than James and was gentle and slow as he entered you, increasing the pace of his thrusts only after you'd had a chance to get used to his length and girth and began raising your hips up to meet his.

‘Oh god, you feel so fucking tight Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he thrusted in and out of you.

‘Cillian, fuck me harder, oh god’ you screamed out almost at the same time. He felt so amazing inside of you that you could barely breathe! You probably looked like the proverbial fish on dry land, gasping for air as you drown under wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure.

You were almost grateful when he folded over you and groaned into your neck, the sound of your name from his lips bringing you to one last climax as he enjoyed his.

‘Fuck yes Cillian’ you groaned as you could feel him pulsate inside of you, filling you with his seed as you climaxed in sync.

By this point you had lost count of how many orgasms he'd given you, but you were fairly sure that you could make him come every hour on the hour for the next three or four days and still be in his debt.

You never had sex that good and you struggled to contain yourself after you both were breathless. Cillian held his body close to his as his breath normalized, and you shuddered as he pulled his softening cock from inside you, lamenting its absence and causing some of his cum to leak onto the blanket beneath you.

‘What do you think? Should we get to bed?’ he eventually huffed out and you nodded, but weren’t so sure whether you would be sleeping in the same or separate bedroom.

‘I might need some help getting up’ you giggled, knowing that you wouldn’t be walking straight for days.

Cillian was quick to flash up his phone and scoop you up from the floor in response to your comment and carry you to your bed.

‘Uhm, do you want me to stay with you?’ Cillian asked somewhat nervously and you bit your lip and nodded at him.

Within seconds, he slid into bed with you, turned off the flashlight on his phone before pulling the top sheet over your nude forms before sliding an arm around you to curl you into his warm body.

‘This was incredible, even better than I had ever imagined’ he said and you nuzzled into the soft hair that sparsely covered his chest, still reeling that the most amazing wet dream you'd ever had had happened during your waking hours.

***

The following morning, you were woken by your phone which rang not once, not twice but three times in total until you finally answered it.

‘Hey, what’s up’ you huffed out with a dusty head while Cillian was stirring besides you.

‘I really need to talk Y/N, I am sorry. I know that Cillian is seeing someone by the name of Lindsay and I am really fucking upset about it’ Laura went on to say before telling you once again that she wasn’t over the break up and suspected that he was seeing her and Lindsay at the same time.

‘I can’t really talk about this right now’ you said, your head pounding as Cillian’s arm wrapped around you.

‘Can you call me back when you can please. I know you said that you wanted to stay out of this, but there is more to it’ Laura then said and you were immediately overwhelmed with guilt.

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[meltwonu]

84. “I’m gonna strangle you.”

            “Is that a promise?”

94. “Saddle up doll.”

notes; camboy!vernon, cam!couple, camshows, dom!vernon, a wee bit of possessive!vernon, brat!reader, choking, biting/marking, hair pulling, dirty talk, degradation, dumbification! 😏💕 Ehehe… Also I know, omg, there’s def some members that never rly strike me as a dom even tho I do write them as one HAHAH Vernon is def one of them too bc to me he’s so playful 😭💕 but it’s ok cuz we like to indulge ykwim 😈😈 And lbr, he’s so cute when he gets annoyed LOL kdjfkjdh Anyway, as always thank you so much for requesting! Enjoy! 

“You’re the one that started it!”

Vernon rolls his eyes at the way you stomp your foot in front of him; already far more than a little annoyed at your attitude. “What exactly did I start?”

Huffing, you round the bed, stopping right in front of him as you poke at his chest.

“Weren’t you the one that wanted to start this cam-couple channel? Why’re you getting so upset that I suggested we post extra content? Isn’t that what you suggested last time?”

He scoffs slightly, pushing your fingers away from his clothed chest.

Vernon didn’t think you’d actually want to and now, he was feeling slightly irked thinking about the way people would save those intimate pictures of you to their personal collections.

“And I changed my mind, okay? I’m allowed to do that.”

This time it’s you that rolls your eyes at him, turning and walking towards the bed as you sit down on the neatly made sheets.

“If you don’t want people saving pictures of us being intimate, just say so, Vernon. You’re being so stubborn for no reason~” You singsong - already knowing he was annoyed.

“Shut up, brat. I’m gettin’ really annoyed right now, doll.”

“Yeah? Make me then! I’m sure they’d allllll love to see you put me in my place.”

Vernon growls and takes his phone out; opening the camming app and setting up a quick title before he hits the ‘Go Live’ button and passes his phone to you.

“You’re gonna record the way I fuck you and maybe learn a lesson, got it?”

SLOW__BURN.ON HAS GONE LIVE

‘POV: You’re a brat being punished until I’m satisfied.’

“Well? Saddle up, doll. I don’t have all fuckin’ night.”

Vernon rests his back against the headboard as you shimmy up his thighs - phone tightly grasped in your hand when you lift your lower half up until you’re hovering over his cock.

“I wanna feel you sinking down onto my cock, sweetheart. Don’t you?”

“U--uh huh…”

You shakily exhale before you start to sink down on his length; momentarily forgetting you were supposed to be recording before Vernon tsk’s at you and reaches an arm up to your own.

“I give you one order to record and you’re already forgetting to do that much. This is why everyone always comments in the chat that you’re just a dumb set of holes for me to fuck, right, doll? Can’t even remember one simple task once there’s a cock inside you.”

Whining in return, you sink down until he’s fully seated inside your tight warmth; the head of his cock curving deliciously into your g-spot as you throw your head back.

“Ngh, s-shut up…”

He scoffs under his breath, hands flying to your waist and guiding you when you start to bounce on his lap.

“Why? ‘Cause I’m right this time?”

“Ah, s-so you admit you were wrong before?” You retort; the smug grin on your face melting off as soon as Vernon’s grip on you tightens.

“Mm, you really want me to be mean tonight, don’t you? You’re not usually this feisty.”

‘Ooooh, were the two of you arguing before?’

‘Actually, yeah why is she being punished lolol’

‘Must’ve been something good heh’

“A-ah, Vernon’s p-punishing me for--for being a brat but I, ngh, w-was right!” You swivel your hips; high pitched moans and whines leaving your lips at the way his cock fills you up perfectly. “He’s j-just being, mmh, jealous!”

Vernon doesn’t say a word in response and instead lets you ride his cock and film the view of his lower abdomen and the periodic flashes of his face before you catch him smirking.

“W-what…?”

He chuckles slightly, shaking his head as his hands fall from your waist. “Nothing, it’s just that you look so desperate riding my cock like this. It’s cute. And proves what everyone says about you is right. That all you’re good at is taking my cock.”

He starts pushing at your shoulder, quickly and swiftly maneuvering you until your back hits the bedsheets and you let out a small squeak out of surprise at the sudden change in position when he hovers above you.

“Mm, I don’t think you deserve the luxury of this comfortable position, so get on your hands and knees, doll.”

“And what if I don’t?”

Vernon deadpans; eyes cold as he stares back at you.

“I’m gonna strangle you for being so fuckin’ difficult is what’s gonna happen.”

“Is that a promise?” You reply teasingly, already moving to flip over underneath him as you prop the phone up against one of the pillows off to the side, “I wanna feel you cumming inside of me and making a mess while you choke me~”

Now with the device out of your hand, Vernon starts to handle you in a much more rough manner - hands gripping your hips and positioning you with your ass up in the air as your torso arches towards the bed.

“See, now you’re not gonna be able to cum because of your attitude ‘n I’m just gonna use your ‘lil cunt like the dumb ‘lil cocksleeve you are ‘til I’m satisfied.”

He positions his cock at your entrance and fully sheathes himself back inside your pussy in one fluid motion - hips snapping into you at a ruthless pace as you moan loudly.

“That’s right, let our viewers know how good I make you feel, how fuckin’ good I fuck your cunt, doll.”

Your voice is muffled against the bedsheets - drool seeping into the material when the head of his cock pounds your g-spot with each skillful thrust.

“Look at her, can’t even fuckin’ talk and make full sentences ‘cause she’s too busy getting fucked stupid.”

He smirks at your back before he leans down; lips on your shoulder as you shiver. His voice is soft and barely a whisper when he speaks to you - hushed enough for only you to hear.

“Gonna mark you up all pretty and then take those pictures you wanna take so bad. But everyone’s gonna know it’s me that makes you feel this good and only me that gets to fuck you. Am I understood?”

“M-mmhmm… A-ah, V--Vernon!”

You mewl into the sheets, pussy clenching around his cock when he starts to leave an array of love bites along your shoulder - teeth nibbling on your skin before soothing it with his tongue.

He repeats this a few more times and makes sure to leave enough on both sides of your neck before he pulls away and reaches for the phone still propped up against the pillow.

“Isn’t she all prettied up with my bite marks all over her skin? Her pussy was getting so much tighter around my cock every time I bit down~ Such a filthy ‘lil thing, aren’t you, doll~? Always wanting me to mark you up so everyone knows who owns this pussy.”

Vernon films a close-up of all the lovebirds on your skin before he brings the phone down and makes sure to film the way his cock thrusts into your cunt a few times before he sets the phone back down into its previous place.

“Fuck, I’m so close to cumming, baby. You’re gonna be a good girl and lemme cum inside you, right?”

“Mmh, p-please! Wanna f-feel you filling me up s--so good…”

You feel Vernon’s quick pace pause, confusion swimming in your head before you feel him start to slide his fingers through your hair.

“Ngh, V--Vernon!” He tugs you by the hair as your fingertips dig into the sheets and it’s not long before you feel his warm chest against your back.

“Just giving you what you asked for, doll~”

He smirks and kisses the side of your neck before you feel his hand wrap around the column of your throat - fingertips gently pressing down on the sides as you let out a shaky breath.

“All you have to do is ask nicely and I’ll give it to you, y’know?”

Vernon resumes his pace, hips slamming into your ass as he chases his orgasm and it only takes a few harsh thrusts before he feels his cock throbbing inside you cunt.

“S--shit, ‘m cumming!”

His fingers add slight pressure to your neck as you moan; the lightheadedness mixes in with the way his cum fills you up and makes your entire body feel extra warm and sated as you clench down onto his cock in a vice grip.

“Ver--Vernon…”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he fucks his cum deeper into your cunt and you try to stave off your orgasm in fear of him dragging out your punishment any longer than it needed to be. 

After a few more tense moments, you can feel his grip on your throat loosening and you take a big shaky gulp of air when he fully lets go and your trembling arms threaten to give out underneath you.

“Mm, this view of you is so pretty, doll...” 

He starts to slide his cock out of you while simultaneously reaching for the phone again. A smile etches itself onto his lips as he films his cock covered in your wetness and you pussy dripping with cum - cruel chuckles on his lips as your brows furrow.

“Gonna end the live here, everyone~ Take one last good look at this brat’s pussy filled with my cum. We’ll upload some pics to our channel later, under the Paid Content section ‘cause I changed my mind again.”

“Wuh---wait, but I--I didn’t cum y-yet...” You mumble.

“Well, I did say you weren’t allowed to cum, didn’t I? Next time, pay attention, brat.”

[moxfirefly]

Good afternoon, this has been in the works for a while now and I finally got around to finishing it and being pretty content of it (this is gonna go up on AO3 soon along with the others that aren’t request) but I wanted to post it here first. Enjoy!

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Wish you were here right now

All of the things I'd do”

Gaming was always an escape.

From childhood to adulthood. There was some gaming equipment in your hands, controls, handhelds, keyboards and so on. There was just something calming about entering a fantasy world and immersing yourself in scenery and stories that made you stray from bad days and long nights.

For Donatello it was the same.

On one of his many supply scavenges Splinter had found a dumpster near a toy store that was going out of business. It was a memorable haul for them. What they expected to be routine things mixed with some type of groceries had turned into literal Christmas in July. Stuffed animals, board games, action figures and even a few gaming consoles with some cartridges and cd’s. Noticeably they were considered damaged or improperly manufactured, but they didn’t care and for Donnie he had spent a good week and a half fixing up the Nintendo and Play Station 2 consoles back into working conditions.

That alone had been plenty for him but nevertheless Mikey being so excited about playing wanted him to join him. They had played for hours and each disc or cartridge they tried out held a new story, a new set of controls to learn, new visuals and such. He was immediately hooked.

When he had gotten the first parts to start building a PC from scratch he knew there would be another world of possibilities for games.

Now gaming is a leisure for Donnie. Something he does for enjoyment and an escape when his projects become too much. The world of online gaming allowed him to also explore the possibilities of chatting with others though, the humans they were not allowed to see or speak to (with the exception of their Hogosha) but needless to say it wasn’t like Donnie broadcasted his identity and whereabouts. More so these people only came to game and speak game.

Donnie absolutely does detest the unnecessary sexism that gaming brings. Many a time he had read on chats or heard on his head set such derogatory comments thrown at female players. Never the one to stand such misogynistic behavior (he was raised better and had heard enough horror stories from April) he always shot that shit down quickly. Given his status as being far above his gaming peers he had developed respect and none of them ever shot back at him.

That’s how he runs into you.

On the opposing team nonetheless.

Once your female voice ran through the ears of the group he had been stuck in, the comments began to rain down. Some colorful, some lazy and some downright disgusting. Donnie had had enough and with some of his more illegal methods, had managed to push out the players in his party and send the audio recording to the email of the developers.

On exceptionally petty days he did far worse.

You had been stunned, wondering why the gang of immature boys had suddenly disappeared. Only one of them remained with the gamer tag specifying ‘Don_DuzMachines’ you couldn’t help but giggle at it.

You had asked if the sudden disappearance had been a weird glitch and if Don (as you assumed you should call him) had anything to do about it.

“Let’s just say I’ve got my ways” His soft voice rang through your headset.

“Well it’s hardly the first time I’ve had a gang of prepubescent boys tell me to suck their dicks” You started to move away in the map but stopped abruptly.

“Hey do you wanna play something else?” You asked tentatively. “Figured the least I can do is thank you” Donnie sat back pensively, well there was no harm in that now was there?

And so it started innocently.

Co-op games even the occasional match against one another. Each game you two always spoke through your headsets. Mostly banter about strategy or directions for who to do what or the occasional friendly jabs. You hadn’t revealed much that wasn’t the nickname you used as your gamer tag, and well Don had basically done the same.

That is until you decide to poke a little into his life. “You go to college?” You had asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you both partook in a raid. Donnie hadn’t expected such a question and he didn’t necessarily want to divulge much, he opted for a more ambiguous response. “I do my own studying, sort of like home schooling if you will?” Well he wasn’t wrong, Splinter had been both father and teacher to them, Donnie had just excelled more quickly and soon enough he was teaching his brothers on the academic side.

“You broke too, huh? Trust me it’s not worth the insane debt you’ll develop in six years that’ll take forty years to pay off” You chuckled with a hint of bitterness, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh and snort.

“That’s cute” You said sincerely. Donnie smiled, heat creeping up his neck.

How innocent things had been at the start.

For six months the two of you divulged little to no information. You never asked to video chat and Donnie never asked for your socials. It had just been a mutual agreement to keep the mystery that just wasn’t verbalized. Maybe it was for the better, because surely what had began as a gaming buddies situation had escalated to, well Donnie couldn’t really explain.

The first instance the two of you had been stuck on a map solving intricate puzzles. It was one of the more relaxed games the two of your partook in together when you didn’t want to deal with other players in a lobby.

“Dating apps are a nightmare, they’re only worth it for getting dumb funny stories” You had been playing but also checking some of the matches you’ve gotten on a site. Donnie swallowed, why did that settle so oddly in his stomach?

“Well any funny ones you’d like to share?” Don asked curiously hoping he wasn’t over stepping any boundaries. “One guy wanted me to cover my feet in marmalade, I really almost hit fuck it and did it” You couldn’t help but smile when Don choked, coughed and bursted out laughing.

“What kink is that even related to? I mean I know people enjoy feet but marmalade?” He was bewildered. “Come on Don don’t kink shame the poor guy, who are you to police his eclectic culinary desires?” Now the two of you couldn’t help but burst into another fit of laughter. Both your avatars were idle standing, the game somewhat abandoned in favor for the conversation.

“Hey I’m not kink shaming, we all have our weird kinks” Donnie smiled sitting back on his swivel chair. You clicked out of the dating site, chin resting on your hand. “Are we finally having this conversation? Cause I love this shit, it’s my bread and butter” You sat back in your gaming chair, tucking your knees.

Donnie felt so shy but the barrier of mistery the two of you had built urged him on. He was curious, like stupid curious what you looked like and while he had everything to figure out exactly where you were, it wasn’t morally correct for him. So why not just indulge in the conversation?

“Well it’s not feet, sorry to disappoint” He heard you laugh, an infectious sound he had grown to enjoy so much. “Feet are so passé anyways, what about bondage?” You spun slowly in your chair, the sounds of Don adjusting and clicking on the keyboard ringing in your ears.

“Bondage is a go, especially sensory deprivation” He was checking some documents April had forwarded to him in regards to a case they were dealing with, but he could multitask. You made an approving noise, nodding while taking a sip of your drink. “Into that D/s stuff?” You asked wanting to see what else he might like.

“Well yeah, but I do enjoy more um... Fem Dom stuff” He finished up the email he wrote out for April and hit send. “A man with taste, not something we get often” You chuckled but decided to add. “I wouldn’t mind having a guy submit to me” You bit the inside of your cheek a little shy suddenly.

Something about that statement made heat spread south for Donnie. The concept of being dominated? By a woman? He peaked a look behind him, pushing one side of his headset down to hear what his brothers might be up to but he heard only music and chatting voices.

“What’s your favorite thing?” He inquired almost too softly.

“Erotic ASMR” There was no trace of embarrassment in your voice and that somehow made Donnie hot.

“Maybe we frequent the same sites for that” Don boldly threw out. You made an approving face before sitting forward and typing on your keyboard. A beat or two later Donnie saw an email notification from you on one of his many burner emails. He opened it finding links to audios from various sites all catered to erotic audios. Donnie whistled, this was a gold mine and true to his predictions you did indeed have some of his favorite sites to peruse.

“It’s not just male audios by the way, there’s women too” You sat back once again, nervously playing with your hair. “Thanks... Well I do like hearing both” Donnie confessed, voice avoiding a stutter.

You grinned. Oh he was even more fun that you could’ve expected.

Curiously enough that had been the tamest experience into yours and Donnie’s sex talks. Because it hadn’t really stopped at that, they progressively escalated little by little. Fave kinks had turned to fave sites, fave sites had turned into fave videos. Donnie never pictured he’d share his hidden folder with a stranger no less.

You nor Donnie could really say how the two of you had ended up one late night, with yet another abandoned game, talking about weird but satisfying cyber sex experiences. Some of your stories had been on the more comical side but a few had riled Donnie up to the point that he couldn’t ignore it. There was a shift in your voice as well, an allure that enticed him.

“Can I be honest?” You licked your suddenly dry lips. Donnie tensed momentarily, not sure what to expect. “Of course, please” You squeezed your thighs together, ‘please’ shouldn’t sound so good coming out of his mouth. You trace lazy circles on your thighs, something pushed you. “I’m kinda turned on by this...by talking to you about all this stuff” Maybe this was overstepping it, surely there was nothing wrong between two adult friends discussing such matters.

There was no need to tell Don that you had yearned to put a face to the name. But his hesitance spoke of insecurities and you could understand that.

“I am too...” Donnie looked up at what he called a ceiling in his home, the darkness of the sewer system and concrete. He’d never have a chance with you, it was a deeply rooted desire for intimacy and if virtually he could obtain it then so be it.

For all your boldness you felt a wave of bashfulness hit, crashed around your self confidence. Then Donnie steps up and you feel your toes curl in excitement. “Do you want to have a better experience?” Donnie runs both hands down his face, who was he to provide better experiences, he’d never even physically had a partner. The slow sigh that escapes your throat is comforting static in his headset. “Yeah, yeah I really do actually” You feel a smile etch itself on your lips.

“You can call me Donnie” It’s the closest to his name, and truthfully he really wants to hear you say it.

“Y/N,” You say to which Donnie makes an approving noise, he finds your name to be pretty. He rolls it in his mouth, testing the syllables, he can envision moaning it, well he wants to moan it if he can be completely honest. He wants to put a face to that name but he quickly pushes the thought out. There’s a pregnant pause where neither of you engage or make the first attempt. Not wanting to let this mood flee, Donnie swallows and closes his eyes. The hum of the abandoned game grounding him.

“Say my name again” It’s not a forceful demand, all the contrary he wants to hear the pitch in your voice when you say it, he wants to picture how each tone would variate depending on what he would do or say. “Donnie...” You smile to yourself when you say it, a hint of desire nestled in it and Don notices that and wants more of it.

There’s a lengthy sigh from your behalf, hands wandering up your thighs towards your chest. “I’d like to be there right now, would like to say it against your lips” Your bold confessions makes Donnie’s pulse quicken. He runs a ghosting touch up his plastron, the vision of a delicate hand doing it. The imaginary weight of you on his lap grinding down on his hard member. Donnie grips himself through his shorts a soft groan escaping his parted lips.

“Want you to kiss me” He swallows dryly, the approving noise you make pushing him forward. “Feel your lips all over, feel your mouth around me...” He lifts his hips, hand cupping himself and the small hitch in your breath is a sound he wants permanently recorded in his brain.

“God are you big? I bet you are” You kneed your breast, thumb and forefinger pinching the sensitive nubs until they’re perked. Donnie smirks to himself, freeing his aching member and looking down at himself. Mutant genes aside he feels somewhat shamefully proud of his cock, he wonders if you would like it... deeply buried within you. “Yeah I am, I think you can take it something tells me” You catch that teasing tone and the urge to swallow him whole and make him see stars is too much.

Your hand finds its way into your underwear, the warm wetness making you moan as you tease your middle finger between the lips to find your sensitive nub there. You bite back another lengthy moan but recover enough to breathlessly say, “oh fuck, Donnie” and that very sound makes him shiver. Never did he think he’d hear something so temptingly good, said with such sincerity. God the things he would do to smell your arousal right now, to taste the wetness. “Push two fingers in slowly” Donnie almost pleas, his voice shakey, hand pumping his cock at a steady pace. You do as he wishes, your gutted moan making more precum gather at the tip of his member.

“God-shit- you sound so good, wish you were riding my big dick right now” He wants to chastise himself for saying something like that, but he can’t deny that statement shakes something in you. He can hear it, the sound of your fingers mixed with a continuously rising string of moans. “Ohmygod” Words tumble out strewn together by your pleasure. “Donnie please, please fuck me harder” That alone makes him sit up and push forwards, one hand on his desk as the other works himself up in upward twisting strokes.

Donnie can’t erase the idea of slamming into you right here on his desk, maybe bent over, maybe you’ll let him cum on your face...

He pushes the idea away, he can’t envision your face now, not right now, not when your moans have you sounding this deliciously in need. You’re plunging two fingers into your core as your free hand runs firm circles around your clit. “Christ Donnie you sound so good baby” You moan, perspiration covering your body and Donnie can only groan his approval.

There’s a few minutes where it’s just the two of you lost in your own pleasure together. The constant chants of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and ‘yes’ mixed between the two of you. “Say it... again” Donnie groans out, hand quickening, briefly gathering some saliva and letting it fall on his hard member for better traction. “Don-oh, Donnie cum in me!” You’re so far gone, not caring what comes out of your mouth. The wet sounds in your head set and a vibration you figured could be static mixed with his groans was all you heard.

Donnie’s hips twitch, feels that request swim inside of his brain and the image of burying himself as deeply as you could take is all he needs. Just as your moans rise in crescendo he feels the first twitch and relief of his orgasm overtake him. He’s never felt it hit him this hard it knocks the wind out of him, each rope shooting out onto his hand and floor. In his minds eye though, it’s your suffocating heat taking it, milking him until he’s a shivering mess. It plays perfectly like a movie, he swears he can even feel your lips at his neck and arms holding him tight.

Your sounds are enough to keep him stroking, the way your voice pitched up with the sound of his name entwined, forever recorded in his brain. Your entire body tensed to the point of uncomfortable but it was impossible to stop abruptly when he sounded so lost in you. Your leg shakes and stiffens and it takes every inch of control to not become liquid and slip away into comforting bliss.

Eventually the sounds of heavy breathing slowly but surely settling are the only things the two of you can hear in your ears. There’s a mess, for you and for him. The understanding of things transpired crossing each of you two’s brains. Should you speak first? Should he?

“Um, you with me?” You settle, skin sweaty and mouth dry. There’s movement on the other line, a quiet cuss here and there and you smile. “Yeah, sorry just... made a mess” His voice has that sheepish tone and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Great thing about being a girl, we can conceal the evidence better” You stretch your aching legs enjoying each joint pop. “The female anatomy never seizes to amaze me, trust me” Donnie leans back in his chair, napkin cleaning any other soiled spot.

The silence was somewhat comfortable, the buzzing of good chemicals slowly settling.

“Was this okay?” He asked, hesitant tone in your ears.

“More than okay if you ask me” You kept it light not wanting him to feel odd or even ashamed.

You ventured on slowly, forming the question in your brain and bouncing it back and forward with a swallow. “If, and I mean if you want to, we can maybe do this from time to time” You worried a thumbnail between your teeth. Donnie’s gaze watching the idle screen of the abandoned game, he thought hard but briefly.

“I... yeah I would” He smiles to himself, even if the nagging thought that this might not last clutches the back of his mind. Why ruin a good thing? This was good more than good and you suggested to continue.

He doesn’t want to preoccupy his brain with scenarios, or if that dreaded ‘let’s meet’ sentence decides to cross your lips. If this is the inch of intimacy he gets to have and it’s with you, who he has grown so fond of, then he’s selfishly taking that inch and guarding it with his life.

Mutely you both remain on the line, no words spoken from the agreement, just simply enjoying that the two of you were present.

Even if not physically.

[goldentournesol]

Christmas Miracles

(Spencer Reid x fem!Reader)

The one where Spencer and Reader finally get pregnant after 2 years of trying and failing.

Length: 3.2k

A/N: TW pregnancy, thank you for requesting this anon, so sorry this is late, i know you asked for fluff but i added a touch of angst too because: hello, have you met me? also please accept my feeble attempt at a Christmas fic. i sure do hope no one goes through my search history now haha, anyway ENJOY! (sorry if this is crappy) It is officially Christmas where I live so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

masterlist

The click clack of her heels against the tiled floor of the hospital almost seemed too loud. She felt as though her presence was too much, but she had promised Kristy she’d be there. It almost felt unreal. Here she was, celebrating the birth of yet another Simmons baby when not a single Reid had been conceived. It might have been selfish of her to have such thoughts, but she couldn’t help it. Not when the one thing she and her husband had been praying for day and night came so easily to everyone but them.

It’s been two years since their wedding and for two years she’d felt nothing but the impending feeling of failure hanging around her shoulders. All she wanted was to give Spencer what he deserved, she knew how much he wanted kids. He didn’t even have to say it, it was evident in the way he treated Henry, Michael, and all the other children of the BAU. 

She’d left her job as soon as Spencer texted her and said she’d meet them at the hospital. She took a deep breath before locating the familiar faces of the BAU in the waiting room.

“Hey!” JJ smiled, racing to hug her first.

“Hi, any news?” Y/N asked, pulling away from the hug and looking for her husband among the faces, smiling in recognition. She spotted him in a chair, adorning a hoodie that was much too large for him with “Washington DC” printed in bold letters across the front.

“No, not yet.” Spencer reached his hand out to her and she stepped towards him, smiling as he stood to embrace her. She pulled back once again and looked at his hoodie in amusement.

“Do I want to know what happened?” She giggled, gesturing towards his outfit. He laughed bashfully.

“I, um, had an...incident with the sprinklers at the park.” She watched as his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. She laughed and nodded.

“Alright then.” She took a seat beside him and forced the lump in her throat to break itself apart. But Spencer knew how she felt, of course he knew. Which is why he offered both his hand and shoulder to her as they waited. She gladly accepted both, wishing the heaviness in her chest would dissipate.

About a half hour later, Matt emerged from one of the rooms, announcing the birth of his baby girl. Everyone swarmed around him to give him celebratory hugs, Y/N felt as though someone had to unglue her from her seat. She smiled as wide as her face would allow and hugged him.

“Congratulations!” She exclaimed, trying her hardest not to make it sound forced.

“Thank you, thank you all.” He said, inviting them all into the room, where the wailing  of a newborn baby could be heard. To many it could sound annoying, but Y/N was almost desperate to hear it. Before entering, Spencer grabbed her hand gently and stopped them in their tracks, reaching out to cradle both her hands in his.

“You okay? We can leave now if you want, just say you had an emergency at work or something.” He said quietly to her, knowing how it would make her feel if she were to see this baby right now. He never wanted to push her too far. He could see the uncertainty swimming around in her irises, but his wife was never one to back down from anything she’d promised someone else.

“I’ll be fine, Spence. I promised Kristy.” She whispered and he nodded, although he felt something was off in the pit of his stomach. He brushed it off as she pulled him into the room after her. Her eyes landed on Kristy cradling her baby girl and her heart melted at the sight.

“Oh, she’s beautiful, Kristy.” Y/N cooed, momentarily forgetting about the heaviness in her chest as the baby’s tiny eyes curiously wandered over to her.

“Thank you, Y/N. Would you like to hold her first?” Kristy smiled tiredly and everyone’s gaze fell onto Y/N, an unreadable tension silently floating in the room.

“I-I’d be honored.” She let go of Spencer who watched as his wife carefully scooped up the baby into her arms. His heart swallowed his chest from its swelling. He could barely control the softness in his gaze before Matt came up next to him and grabbed his shoulder, making him smile. The way she carried the baby with so much compassion was a sure sign for Spencer, this woman was meant to be a mother. The mother of his children.

Y/N grinned with slight tears in her eyes as she stared at the baby in her arms, “Hi, baby girl. You’re so beautiful.” She cooed softly as she swayed them slowly from side to side. The baby quieted down in her arms and it was a wonderful sight to see. Spencer’s heart was surely beating its last beats.

“Oh, she loves you already.” Emily said from the far side of the room. The comfortable weight of the baby in her arms had suddenly turned into 7.8 pounds of complete and utter dread. She had allowed herself to think that it was her own child for a split second. 

What a huge mistake. 

A tear escaped Y/N’s eye as she realized she’d have to part with this beautiful gift of life. She forced a smile and handed her back to her mother carefully. No one noticed the shift in Y/N’s mood, too enthralled by the baby, except Spencer, of course. She quickly wiped away the stay tear as she took her place next to Spencer, who had tried to take her hand in his, but she pulled away just in time. He breathed a heavy sigh as she silently fell apart right next to him.

After a few moments of failing to keep herself from falling apart in front of the team, she tugged on his sleeve harshly and he knew he’d have to excuse them. So he did, they said their farewells and were on their way to her car. She handed him the keys silently and avoided his gaze until they were in the car together.

“Sweetheart…” Spencer started, reaching out to caress any part of her, only wanting to provide a semblance of comfort.

“Please--please, don’t, Spencer.” She whimpered softly as she shrunk away from him and into the passenger seat, the tears falling freely now. Spencer frowned deeply and began driving them home in silence.

She wondered if she’d ever have the opportunity to be in Kristy’s shoes. All she wanted, as of right now, was to be a mother. The universe had been so, so unkind to them both throughout their lives. God knows Spencer’s been through hell and back more times than they can count. Despite all that though, Spencer was truly the best support system she could ask for. He never pushed her too far, he always understood her, never made her feel bad for not being able to get pregnant. But that didn’t take away from the way she felt. The way she felt like she was failing Spencer. The one thing her body was made for, and she couldn’t do it. 

Spencer walked them both up to their apartment and put on the kettle to make some tea as she disappeared into their bedroom, probably to take a shower. For months and months, they’d been trying, and nothing seemed to work. It was taking a toll on Y/N and he couldn’t help but feel useless.

It went on this way for about a month, although Spencer and Y/N were getting much better about talking about it, as well as beginning to explore other options. Spencer kept convincing Y/N to get out of the house more, he insisted that perhaps time apart and engagement of individual activities would strengthen their relationship. So Penelope suggested a girls night in at least once a week. They would order junk food, watch sappy movies, and sometimes cry about their lives.

One night, all the women and spouses of the BAU were at Penelope’s, watching a movie and munching on crunchy snacks. Y/N suddenly sat up straight and gasped, pausing the movie quickly from the remote.

“What is it?” Tara asked, looking over at Y/N on the couch.

“What day is it?” She asked, slightly panicked.

“It’s...Saturday?” Emily replied.

“No, no! What day of the month?” She exclaimed, searching for her phone in between the couch seats.

“It’s the 12th, why? Is it someone’s birthday?” Penelope asked, confusion settling in.

“The 12th?!” Y/N exclaimed in shock.

“Y/N, what’s on the 12th?” JJ asked impatiently.

“I’m late! I’m 2 weeks late. Let me check first.” Y/N pulled up her phone and checked her period tracking app. The women all glanced at each other excitedly, “I’m late…”

“OKAY! Stay here, do not move. JJ and I will go get you a bunch of tests! Don’t move!” Penelope exclaimed, rushing up to put on a coat over her pajamas and slip on some shoes.

Y/N stood and began to wring her hands nervously.

“What’s wrong, isn’t this great news?” Kristy asked, her face showing concern.

“Yes! Yes, of course. Just...what if it’s n-not real, what if it’s negative? I-I don’t think I can handle that again.” Y/N said as her eyes filled with tears. Her heart seemed to have stilled in her chest and her throat began closing up in response to her anxiety.

“Even if that happens, we’re right here. We’ll be supporting you through it all.” Tara said, standing and hugging her tightly. The second she was in her arms, she began sobbing. The slightest comfort brought waves of fear and anxiety. Emily and Kristy frowned and felt their chests pull at the sight of her being so upset. Tara smoothed down her hair lovingly and convinced her to have a seat until Pen and JJ returned.

A few moments later, they came bursting through the door, “Alright, did you drink enough liquids, do you have to pee?” JJ asked, unpacking and handing her the tests.

“Umm, I don’t know but I’ve been peeing a lot anyway.” Y/N replied and JJ nodded.

“Okay, that’s a good sign.” Kristy nodded encouragingly.

Y/N moved to the bathroom and took the tests. She opened the door slightly and looked towards Penelope, “Can you come in? I-I’m too scared to look at it alone.”

“Of course.” She stepped in and Y/N left the door open for anyone else to come in. Soon they all gathered in or outside of the bathroom. Y/N sat on the closed toilet and wrung her hands nervously, a habit she’d picked up from Spencer. Penelope waited the appropriate amount of time and looked at the tests that were face down on the counter. She looked towards Y/N for approval and she nodded, holding her breath. She wasn’t a profiler but she was trying to read every single microexpression that crossed Penelope’s features. The room was heavy with anticipation as they all watched Penelope look at the tests.

Soon enough, her face broke out into a large grin, “Guess we’re getting a baby genius!” She exclaimed and everyone cheered loudly in response. 

Y/N was frozen in shock on the toilet as everyone rushed to embrace her, “W-what?” She uttered in disbelief, tears clouding her vision quickly.

“They’re all positive! A baby Reid is in the oven!” Emily cheered, showing her the tests. She put a hand to her mouth to slow down the sobs escaping her. She hugged them all tightly and she knew, she just knew that this happened thanks to the sheer powerful energy of all the women by her side. The thought gave her goosebumps.

“Oh my God! I have to tell Spencer!” Y/N shouted in the midst of all her tears, just imagining the pure joy that would be on her husband’s face as he learned the news.

“If you leave now, you’ll make it before he gets home from Derek’s.” JJ said, checking her watch. Y/N nodded and raced out with the tests, putting on her shoes quickly.

“I love you all so much! Bye!” She yelled into the room before darting out the door.

She stopped by the grocery store to pick up some buns, an empty box, and a pair of the cutest baby sneakers she could find. As soon as she got home, she filled the box with the sneakers and the positive tests. She also placed a single bun in the oven and waited for Spencer to come home.

“Y/N, you here already? I saw the car parked downstairs--is everything oka--” he cut himself off as he found her in the kitchen holding something behind her back. His eyebrows raised suspiciously as he eyed her, “What’s going on? What are you up to?” He couldn’t resist smiling at her smile, the previous anxieties melting away.

“Check the oven, baby.” She said, leaning against the counter across from it. His brows furrowed even more as he peeked inside.

“I don’t get it. The oven’s not hot and this is likely a store-bought bun.” Spencer Reid, despite being a certified genius, he could be extremely oblivious at times.

“Yes, and where is it placed?” Y/N hinted.

“In the oven?” Spencer reached in and grabbed the bun. He turned around to face her, the bun in his hands.

“Yes, exactly! It’s a bun in the oven.” She laughed, giving up. She watched as his face lit up in realization.

“Wait...what?” Spencer said softly in disbelief, placing the bun down on the counter and taking a few steps towards her.

She grinned and pulled out the box from behind her and opened it up in front of him. He took it from her and inspected the test and the shoes with a dropped jaw, “W-we...you’re--” He laughed a wet laugh and placed his hands on her belly, “We’re gonna have a baby?” His voice cracked, tears clouding his eyes quickly.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” She confirmed and he pulled her into possibly the tightest hug she’d ever received from him. His shoulders began shaking in her arms and soon they were sobbing messes in front of each other. She rested her head on his chest and he kissed it over and over again until they both calmed down.

“I’m gonna be a father.” He finally said, smiling down at her with a dopey, lovesick smile.

She nodded, returning the smile, “The best father. Now come on, let’s have a seat and start planning.” She giggled, pulling him out of the kitchen and to the couch.

“You know, it’s thought that the saying bun in the oven originated in 1951.” He began explaining and she suddenly burst into a fit of fond giggles, hoping their child would get his intelligence and definitely his good looks.

At exactly 10 weeks, Spencer insisted that she get her first ultrasound. She didn’t mind, she just wanted him to be there, and with his hectic schedule, it was hard to find a perfect time to go. But alas, they figured it out and Spencer was practically bouncing on his feet in excitement in the waiting room. Y/N placed a calming hand on his knee and smiled reassuringly. They took turns calming each other down. Even though Spencer had read every book about parenting and children within reach, he still felt so unprepared as a first time parent.

“Mr. and Mrs. Reid? The doctor is ready for you now.” A nurse with a clipboard announced, making Spencer shoot up out of his seat and helped his wife out of hers.

Soon, they made it into the office and before she knew it the doctor had already spread the icy cold gel on Y/N’s growing belly. A steady, repetitive noise could be heard throughout the room, bouncing off the walls. It sounded like an underwater heartbeat with a tad of something sloshing around.

“Oh, do we hear that? That’s the sound of the baby’s heart-Oh! What do we have here?” The doctor announced as she maneuvered her way on top of her belly.

“What is it?” Spencer anxiously asked, peering over at the screen.

“It seems as though there are two amniotic sacs as well as two healthy heartbeats! Congratulations, you’re having twins!” The doctor exclaimed happily. The couple stared at each other in an absolute stunned daze.

“Twins?” Y/N had to make sure she was hearing it correctly.

“Yes, a pair of healthy twins.” The doctor confirmed.

“That’s...th-that’s only a 4% chance. This is amazing!” Spencer uttered, hugging her tightly.

Over the course of the next six months, Spencer and Y/N have been living on the absolute tips of their toes. Y/N was extremely clingy at times and Spencer was terrified of leaving her, should he be called in for a case. As the twins’ due date nears, Spencer turns into a shell of himself and instead a home for festering anxiety and fear. He’s terrified something might go wrong. Whereas Y/N could not wait for the babies to be out of her! The day couldn’t come sooner.

Thankfully, serial killers all over the country had decided to take a break for Christmas time. Spencer, Y/N, and her belly were invited to every gathering leading up to Christmas eve. She wished she wouldn’t have to waddle along for much longer.

As the two sat in peaceful silence, listening to instrumental versions of their favorite Christmas music and munching on gingerbread men, something felt off.

“Uhhh, Spence?”

“What is it, sweetheart?” Spencer asked, sitting up, failing to notice the large pool of liquid now under his wife soaking the couch.

“My water just broke.” She announced, feeling her breath quicken.

“Oh-OH!” Spencer shot up from the couch and quickly grabbed the hospital go bag that’s been living by the door for the past few weeks. He put on a pair of shoes for her and carefully helped her off the couch.

“Spencer, it’s Christmas eve, we’ll never find a place in the hospital!” Y/N panicked slightly as she waddled to the door, trying to control her breathing.

“Shh, baby don’t worry about that right now. I just need you to do the breathing exercises we practiced so much, okay?” He said calmly, doing her breathing exercises, prompting her to imitate him. He surprised her by being so calm and composed all the way to the hospital then she remembered he’d once told her that he finds he does his best work under intense pressure.

20 grueling hours later, two beautiful baby girl Reids were born into this world on Christmas day. It truly was a Christmas miracle. The team filed in on Christmas day to find one exhausted Spencer standing and an even more exhausted Y/N on the bed, each cradling a baby girl of their own.

“Oh my, oh, they’re so beautiful.” Penelope gushed, her and JJ leaning over Y/N’s bed to peer at one of the girls. Luke, Tara, and Emily walked towards Spencer, who could not stop grinning. 

Seriously, his face should have been split in half at this point from how much he’d been smiling. There was no one else in this world he’d rather have a child with, and he was blessed with not one, but two enchanting Christmas miracles who will surely steal his heart and never return it, and he’ll be more than okay with that.