#well. were only halfway through. theres more time to learn...

[transgaysex]

yknow i do think rigging is fun but its also real intricate. and the mistakes get on my nerves

[gratelove]

Hii! I know its been a while since you posted it but i recently stumbled across your Nicky fic and it was soo well written, you capture her so well!!! I read it over and over again. I am so glad to have found it because theres a worrying lack of fanfics for her here. If you don’t mind, would you please consider writing for her again?

Sorry that I’ve been MIA for a while! Ive been writing a book and it’s consuming my life right now! But, here is the fanfic as requested! I hope you enjoy 🧡

I Missed You More

Nicky Nichols x Reader

After getting released from Litchfield, you spiral into addiction and land right back inside—only to face Nicky Nichols, the woman you left behind and never truly stopped wanting. What begins with resentment and unresolved pain erupts into a desperate, heated reunion, where old wounds and buried desire ignite behind the prison walls.

Warnings: cursing, talk of drug use, 18+, sexual content

You didn’t except to come back.

You always told yourself it’d be different this time —that you’d get out and stay out. You’d read the books, sat through the NA meetings, and nodded in all the right places. You made a plan: halfway house, part-time job, find a routine. Get your shit together.

But routine doesn’t pay the bills, and rehab doesn’t prepare you for the silence that crawls in around midnight when no one checks on you anymore. When there’s no one to tell you to eat, sleep, breathe. When freedom doesn’t feel like salvation—it feels like drowning with no lifeguard in sight.

It started slow, as it always does. A little something to take the edge off. A little more to silence the voice in your head telling you you’re worthless. You swore it was temporary. You swore you’d stop.

And then the sirens came.

Now here you are—again.

Litchfield. Round two.

The familiar stench of bleach and institutional failure clings to the walls. The processing officer doesn’t look at you twice when he hands you your uniform. You wonder if he remembers your face from last time.

You do your best to keep your head low, avoid familiar gazes, but someone was bound to see you eventually. It was only a matter of time before she found out you were back.

The voice hit first.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” That familiar, raspy voice cracks through your cube. You flinch, but don’t turn around.

Nicky scoffs. “What was it this time? A needle? A baggie? Or just good old fashioned stupidity?”

You finally turn, heart kicking against your lips as your eyes fall on her. Her arms are crossed, jaw tight, an unlit cigarette dangling from her fingers. Her red hair is longer, but her eyes… they’re still the same. Still beautiful.

You feel her disappointment in your bones and it makes your chest tighten.

“Nice to see you too, Nichols.”

“Cut the shit. You promised me.”

You almost laugh. “I promised a lot of things.”

“Yeah, and you broke every goddamn one of ‘em.”

The silence that follows isn’t awkward. It’s violent. You can feel it between you. All the unspoken words, the held anger.

“Do you enjoy fucking up your life, or is it just, like, a hobby at this point?” she spits, stepping closer. Her eyes narrow. “Be honest. Was it H? Pills? Did you even make it six months?”

“Six and a half,” you mutter.

She laughs without humor. “Well, gold star for effort.”

The truth is, this hurts more than it should. More than it has any right to. Because you and Nicky… you weren’t just something casual. You were each other’s crutch, each other’s craving, each other’s almost.

And for two junkies, it’s the worst fucking relationship there is.

But when you got out, you left her behind without so much as a letter. Not because you didn’t care—because you cared too much. Because if you’d stayed tethered to her, you knew you’d never learn to stand on your own.

She doesn’t see it that way. She never did.

You wanted to be sober. You wanted to get better for her, so you did what you thought you had to do to make that happen. And you failed.

“Just fuck off, alright. I already feel bad enough. I don’t need to hear your shit.”

She runs a hand through her hair, walking to the edge of your cube. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, eyes low. “I know.”

And then she’s gone.

-

A few days pass.

Every time you catch Nicky, she’s watching you. She doesn’t look away. She holds it, challenging you. You always look away first.

Day after day, you do your best to avoid her. You can’t face her. You don’t want to.

But she doesn’t make it easy.

She corners you in the laundry room, voice low so no one else can hear.

“You just gonna pretend I’m not here? Avoid me your whole sentence?” You avert your gaze, sucking in an annoyed breath. “Do you think you’re better than me now? Or are just too ashamed to talk to me?”

“I tried,” you snap. “I fucking tried, Nicky. Every damn day, I tried. And you know what? It was worse than in here. Out there, there’s no fence to blame.”

Her expression cracks and her breath hitches. Her looks like she’s deciding whether to hate you or feel sorry for you.

“You had a chance. A fucking chance. And you blew it.”

“And what would you have done differently?” She steps back, eyes wide. “Don’t act like you’re some fucking saint.”

She gets in your face, so close you can feel her breath hitches your cheeks. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah.” Your gaze scans her features. You take in the smell of her. A luxury you’ve been forced to live without for too long. “Fuck you too.”

She slams her hand against the wall beside your head. “You left like I never meant anything. And now you’re here. I can’t deal with your shit again. I can’t play sponsor. I barely got my own shit together.”

“I’m not asking you to save me, Nicky.”

“No, but now I have to see you every day. After you left with our even saying goodbye. And I hate you.” Hey eyes are glassy. “I hate that you left. I hate that you relapsed. And I fucking hate that I still care about you.”

You blink, but you don’t cry. You used to cry in front of her, back when you thought love meant being vulnerable. Back before you knew how much it could hurt.

“I hate it too,” you say. Her jaw flexes. You can see the way she’s trying not to care. The way she wants to hate you because it’s easier than admitting she never stopped hoping you’d stay clean. That maybe if you stayed clean, it meant she could too. “You always said we were the same,” you murmur.

Nicky chuckles bitterly. “We are. That’s why we’re both back in here, remember?”

You stare at each other for the longest moment. She’s so close. Only a few inches away. She’d be so easy to touch… to kiss. You can’t help but look at her lips. You want to. You want to so fucking bad. And she does too.

But thankfully, she’s stronger than you are at this moment. She pushes off the wall and takes one last look at you before going back to angrily folding her towels.

-

You lean against the chain link fence behind the greenhouse, arms crossed.

You hear the scuff of boots against gravel. The soft rattle of her breath. You don’t turn, but your pulse picks up anyway.

Nicky steps into view, eyes glinting.

“You following me now?” She mutters

You glance over. “Didn’t know you owner the fence line.”

She snorts and pulls something from her sleeve. A cigarette. Fuck, you could use a cigarette.

She taps it against her thumb, then lights it with a flick from a smuggled match. The flame burns bright, catching the gold in her hair for a moment.

She takes a long drag, holds it, then exhales like she’s been underwater all day.

“Want some?” she asks, holding it out.

You hesitate.

But not long.

Your fingers brush when you take it. You bring it to your lips and inhale. It burns in that familiar way—like punishment and comfort all at once.

Nicky leans her shoulder against the fence, facing you now. Her eyes scan your face, lingering a little too long on your mouth.

“You know, I’ve thought about this moment.” You glance at her, raising a brow. “How I’d yell at you if you ever got back in, if you relapsed. How I’d tell you to fuck off, or… I don’t know. Kiss you.”

She laughs quietly, but there’s no humor in it. Just that aching truth that lives between addicts—between you.

You pass the cigarette back, and she takes it. Her hands shake slightly, but she hides it with practiced ease.

“I didn’t stay clean,” you whisper.

She nods slowly. “Yeah, no shit.” There’s a beat of silence. “Neither did I.”

You watch the smoke curl between you, how it dances before disappearing. You wonder if that’s all the two of you are—just smoke and memory. Nothing solid. Nothing that stays.

Then she looks at you—really looks at you.

“I missed you,” she murmurs.

Your throat tightens. “I missed you too.”

Something shifts.

It’s not dramatic. It’s not sudden. It’s just… quiet.

The way she leans in, just a little. The way her fingers brush your wrist when she passes the cigarette back again. The way your eyes flick to her mouth, then away.

And then back.

She watches you the whole time.

“You gonna kiss me, or just stare at my mouth all night?” she asks, voice hoarse.

You don’t answer at first, just step closer. Your hand curls gently in her jacket.

“Is that really a good idea?” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, holding back a smile.

“Fuck no,” she breathes. “But when the fuck has that ever mattered.” She laugh and so does she. The sound is rich and you hold onto it. You forgot how much you missed it.

Then, you kiss her. Your lips meet and you swear it’s the only thing keeping you upright. Your finger curl tighter in her coat, pulling her into you. The kiss turns hungry.

The cigarette drops, forgotten, snuffled out beneath her boot.

She pulls you, and turns, walking you back until you hit the greenhouse wall. Her hands brace either side of your head. Her body slots against yours like muscle memory. Like she never forgot.

Nicky’s breath ghosts against your mouth, her eyes flickering between yours, searching. For permission.

And you give it to her—wordlessly, in the way your hand slides up the back of her neck and into her hair. In the way your mouth finds hers again.

She groans into the kiss, like it’s the first exhale after holding her breath for too long.

Your fingers slide under her shirt. Her skin is warm.

Her mouth finds the hollow of your collarbone, and she lingers there, teeth grazing just enough to make your breath hitch.

She pulls your waistband down just far enough. Her breath hitches when you gasp. You bite your lip to keep from crying out.

When her fingers find you, slick and hot and already trembling, your breath stutters. Your hips twitch involuntarily, grinding into her palm like your body remembers the rhythm before your mind catches up.

“Good to see you still get soaked for me.”

Your forehead falls against hers. You squeeze your eyes shut.

It’s too much and not enough.

Her other hand clutches your thigh, steadying you as her fingers begin to move—slow at first, circling, teasing, dragging pleasure through you in long, unbearable strokes. You cry out softly, biting your lip to muffle it, but she catches the sound with her mouth, drinking it in like she’s starving.

Your breath comes in sharp bursts, each one echoing against the wall. Your whole body feels stretched thin, like you’re fraying at the edges. Pressure coils in your belly, hot and bright, curling tighter with every pass of her fingers. Your thighs shake.

You arch against her, helpless.

She picks up her pace, thumb finding you clit. Your fingers dig into her should, hand fisting her hair.

“Fuck, Nicky.” You moan, head falling back.

“Fuck. I missed the way you whimper.” Her tongue runs up your neck and breaks into a kiss along your jaw.

You cling to her, your body trembling now, hips starting to roll against her hand without thinking.

“Yeah, just like that, baby.”

She pushes deeper, her fingers curling just right—pressing into that sweet, aching spot that makes your body clench and your eyes blur. Your thighs tremble as the pleasure builds, fast and overwhelming. Your nails dig into her shoulder as she works you faster, harder.

“I’m gonna cum.” You moan in her ear, taking her lobe between your teeth. She groans at the sensation.

“Cum, baby.” And you do.

Your orgasm hits like a wave breaking, crashing over you with violent heat. You cry out, clutching her like she’s the only thing keeping you upright. Your legs give way, and she catches you—eases you down, pulling you onto her lap as your body pulses and quakes with aftershocks.

You collapse into her chest, gasping, your heartbeat thundering in your ears.

She’s quiet for a moment, her cheek pressed to your hair, her hand still possessive around your waist.

Then, softly:

“I missed you so fucking much.” You take in her sweet brown eyes, then brush your lips against hers.

“I missed you more.”

[illfoandillfie]

alt adkoe au: y/n answers a question correctly in class and roger accidentally replies w “good girl”

ohhhh my godddd okay this is an incredible idea. i read it as i was walking into work this morning and it made me very giggly khfksfkskfs

like it's just a normal class, roger's trying to keep everyone's attention by throwing out questions at them.

he's not even directing them at specific people, just asking the room at large and waiting to see if anyone answers, keeping a list in the back of his mind of who actually engages with the lesson.

and you're a good student, you like the class and you like having the chance to try to answer things.

maybe it's a little bit because you're sleeping with your professor. but only a little bit.

He had threatened to stop the lessons if your actual work started slipping, so you're determined not to let that happen, and also you just want to make sure he knows you're not just there because he's hot.

but also you're a bit of a nerd and just genuinely enjoy learning about science stuff and has fun answering questions even if you get corrected sometimes.

so you don't even think twice answering this question, you just do it, like 95% sure you knows the answer

and he's really proud of you for knowing the answer! it was a tough one! and usually he'd give whoever answered a 'well done Ms blah' or a 'that's correct Mr blah' but it's the end of the day, his mind is wandering a little bit and for a moment he forgets where he is.

the problem, he tells mikey later when he's explaining the incident, is he's too good a dom. he's always made an effort to praise you during the tutoring lessons. because you was new to bdsm and because you misunderstood aspects of submission to start, he's made sure to give you a lot of positive reinforcement whenever you demonstrated an understanding of something or whenever you showed enthusiasm for something or whenever you tried something out of your comfort zone.

so he doesn't even hesitate before saying "good girl ms y/l/n" when you gives a correct and thorough answer.

he barely even noticed he'd done it at first, turning to the board to write something relevant up there.

he's halfway through a word when he hears the first snicker. it makes him pause because it's a masters science class. it's full of more mature students who've already earned a degree, students who aren't as inclined to goof off as some of his other classes are. I mean, he knows how to have fun with his class. He cracks jokes, he tries to keep things entertaining and engaging, but he's not used to hearing people laugh behind their hands as if they're teenagers passing notes.

he glances behind him at the noise and he notices two things.

Firstly, theres a whole lot of smirking happening, a few giggles, a few people looking at each other.

Secondly, you're staring at him, resolutely ignoring everyone, but you seem embarrassed.

And that's when his brain catches up and he realises what he'd actually said and how inappropriate it was. and he's just really thankful he'd had enough brain left to not use your first name.

For a moment he doesn't know what to do? Should he address it? Apologise to you in front of the class, turn it into a joke about how he's obviously ready for the weekend?

the notion that such an excuse would probably just lead people to speculating about what kind of sexual shenanigans he gets up to on weekends stops him though

and ultimately he decides to pretend it didn't happen. He can apologise to you in private later, and if he just continues on with the lesson it'll force everyone to pay attention and stop giggling.

So he continues writing on the board and then explains why your answer was a good one and then asks a follow up question, this time directing it at a student he thinks is looking at you and whispering to his mate.

You were relieved he just moved on with the lesson.

Later on, when you text Daisy about it, you say the problem is that roger has conditioned you to be turned on by praise. You've always liked earning praise of course, especially from teachers. But all the times roger called you a good girl during your tutoring has made it a whole other thing.

And because of that, as soon as he'd called you a good girl in front of everyone, you got wet.

(Daisy replied with a lot of laughing emojis and not much useful advice)

So, it wasn't even so much being called a good girl in front of your classmates that embarrassed you. it wasn't great and the snickering didn't help you feel less embarrassed but if it had been any other teacher who'd called you a good girl you could have laughed it off much easier (with maybe a little embarrassment for them).

no the reason you were embarrassed was that you were turned on and all you could think about was roger bending you over his desk.

and you shouldnt be thinking about that in public.

and you definitely shouldn't be thinking about roleplaying a teacher/student scene with him.

and you definitely shouldn't be this wet sitting in a fucking uni lecture.

so you were very glad roger hadn't said anything about it.

roger spent the rest of the lesson deciding how best to apologise to you. he decided that calling you to see him after class would only make things worse and since there really was something happening between you, he couldn't risk anyone thinking there was in case it all got brought out into the open.

he did briefly consider whether he should take Tina out somewhere students would definitely spot him just so he'd have an alibi of sorts, and maybe any speculation or gossip about the incident would be more focused on his kinkiness than on your involvement.

But, he settled on mentioning it and apologising during the next tutoring lesson, and otherwise pretending it wasn't a thing. If he heard some rumours or got approached by any staff members then he'd figure out a way to deal with it.

you decided to go by his office before you left that evening. You didn't want any lingering embarrassment hanging over you during your next lesson.

So when you knocked on his door, Roger is very surprised. This was not his plan.

but he rolled with it, inviting you in and shutting the door (hoping no one would think anything of it if they saw)

and he apologised before you could start talking, saying he never meant to put you in such an uncomfortable position and he woud be much more mindful in future and he hopes you're okay and that no one said anything to you.

and you're like oh no thats fine, i get it was just a slip up, and yes we do need to be careful but no one said anything to you and while you did hear people speculating about what else he might call someone a good girl for, no one had suggested there really might be something happening. one girl did call you lucky though and implied that if you'd accidentally called her a good girl she'd be wanking to it for the next month.

roger is relieved and everything about the situation suddenly becomes a bit more amusing and less worrying.

but then you say there is something you want to bring up but maybe his office isnt the best place

and he's like well if you don't tell me i'm going to spend the time until our next session very nervous and concerned about you.

so you're like, its nothing serious i just.....it was kind of hot, sir.

he gulps a little and has to take a breath before he says, "was it now?"

you nod and drop your voice to more of a whisper as you say, "im kinda wet actually"

he groans to himself, "as much as i would love to verify that myself, i don't think this is the place, so i'll take your word for it. what about it inspired such a reaction?"

you shrug, "i don't know exactly. i like when you praise me i guess. and maybe it got me thinking....i mean, if might be too weird but you said teacher student stuff was good for roleplaying.

Roger is speechless at that and has to sit down again before he falls.

you just watch him a bit nervously, waiting for him to say something but encouraged by his reaction

eventually he's like "i did say that"

and you can see hes thinking so you keep quiet, just waiting

eventually he sighs and says, "we really can't do anything here. there are people around who could come in at any moment, not to mention security cameras. so as interesting as your suggestion is, its too risky. And also, a little bit weird. i mean, as hot as the roleplay is, i really am your professor and that makes it just a little uncomfortable, don't you think?"

you nodded, more embarrassed to have been turned down than you were in class.

he's like, i mean i'm up for it, just not right this second.

which does make you feel a little bit better, a little less rejected.

he says so how about this. instead of going home tonight, you pay your teacher a visit because you're so worried about passing the class and you want to see if theres some extra credit work available.

his voice is low and his tone is all suggestion and you instantly perk up and agree to it.

and roger smiles and says, my last class for the day is in half an hour, i will leave as soon as it's done. Of course, if this suddenly stops being hot, we don't have to do this roleplay. It might just have been in the moment that it was arousing or we might find actually playing it out is more awkward than hot.

you stand up and say, thank you sir, i'll see you later.

he says, wait a second ms y/l/n, some homework until then - I want you to think about just how much of a good girl you can be. Have some ideas ready.

your mind was already racing with possibilities so you nodded and then left, trying not to look too excited.

[unohanabbygirl]

No no no no! Don’t go down the path of lies and secrets again, it’s what caused the Dance in the first place! Jeez you’re just packing in the drama to follow with the coming chapters aren’t you. This chapter was really intense, and I loved every word of it! Finally getting into some lucemond action while getting more into Luke’s mindset on certain things was interesting to say the least. And Aemond’s reaction to Luke kinda freaking out was absolutely sweet even if Luke didn’t fully appreciate it. I’m really concerned with the little big secret between Joff and Luke and hope Joff comes clean before the consequences come back to haunt them. I know you’re building up to it and I don’t want to sound impatient but are we getting close to where the memories will finally make a comeback? I only ask because I am frothing at the mouth for the angst filled chapters that follow. I live off that juicy shit. Also I am amazed by the depiction you gave Luke during his panic attack of how all his makeup and glamor were basically melting off him and turning him into a total ugly mess in a physical manifestation of how he views himself. That was peak imagery.  No tomatoes for you, just sweet lip glossed kisses. :)

Thank you babes!

I enjoyed writing Aemond comforting Luke for a multitude of reasons. One of which being to show that Luke is in good hands and while Aemond may be less experienced he surely knows when too far is too far even when tipsy. Comfort and the ability to actually pay close attention to your partners emotional state in the haze of the moment is such an important part of being with someone. It just goes to show that throughout his journey Luke will slowly learn what a healthy sexual dynamic is with Aemond helping to guide.

The secret between these two is going to cause more friction than I think anyone is ready for. It’s peel nack so much work this family has put in to come together and live in peace.

Though Luke is used to keeping secrets and lying his way through tough situations no matter how heavy they weigh in his shoulders, Joff is the complete opposite. Looks aside he’s truly just a kid who’s never withheld secrets from his siblings or parents a day in his life. Especially something as traumatic as what he saw was about to happen if he hadn’t found Luke in time. The poor boy not only has to deal with the weight of beating a man into unconsciousness but also knowing his brother has been sexually abused. It’s truly too much for such young shoulders to bear.

And yes! Since we’ve hit the halfway point in the story we’re closer now more than ever to the point of Luke remembering. The angst will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of because theres a big chance Luke will walk into his court date not just as Luke Rivers but Lucerys Velaryon as well.

Being made to spill his deepest secrets under oath to a court of dozens including your family and lover? Yea, that’s going to be painful.

Also, I was inspired by that scene in ‘The Orphan (2009)” where Esther’s advances were rejected by her foster father and so she flees to her room all while black eyeshadow and liner slowly seems to melt away with her tears. She spent time getting dolled up all for it to wash away in such a heavy moment of rejection and anger. Its such an eerie scene and I’m so happy you think my little rendition is worth praise.

I accept all kisses and return them 10x 🥰

[weirdmageddon]

ok i think i had one of the worst days of my life today. im just gonna go over everything that happened so just be prepared for some nastiness. i felt like this all day:

so i woke up feeling weird like something was “off”. it weirdly difficult to wake up and get out of bed, i felt bloated, i had an abnormal gag reflex while taking my pills. then when i got on the toilet……well idk how to put this delicately but i had a watery shitsplosion. and i was like. well ok. maybe it was just once. so i told my mom and got dressed and was just about to walk to class but i felt hot water in my colon about to be dispensed so i went right the fuck back to my dorm’s toilet. guess i was dead wrong. and dead wrong i would be. because holy shit this is only the beginning.

i sent an ask to the teaching assisant before my class saying “hey you got a zoom link i cant come in person i’m in the bathroom fighting for my life”. i would be fighting for my life in there the majority of the day.

so this is not good, i’m having a category 5 tummy event. i’m losing water quickly. i need to get hydrated.

so i rush myself to the student rec center because i know they have powerade zero in one of the vending machines. i swiped my card. “bad swipe. please try again.” i tried swiping it again twice more, both saying i had a bad swipe. i took out some physical cash and tried putting it in but the vending machine wouldn’t take it. it was broken. great.

lunch was being served at the time so from the cafeteria i got 3 bananas unfortunately all unripe, one toasted unbuttered bagel, and a handful of saltines. halfway through that i was back in the bathroom shitting my brains out. so i’m like, okay. i was talking to my mom the entire time during this btw. she is telling me i need to go to CVS for imodium. see the fucking issue with that is my asshole is leaking frothy bowel fluid unpredictably and there is absolutely nobody that can help me.

i told my RA the vending machines were broken and she told me the boar’s head sandwich shop in the cafeteria opens up at 1 and they have powerade there. so after 1 i went there, tummy very much upset and i’m just desperately clenching my cheeks like a drawbridge. they had no zero sugar powerade, just regular. i bought the powerade anyway. i’ve been trying to lose the freshman pounds i’ve been putting on and this would make that so much harder but i need the electrolytes. so i left with my powerade and as soon as i opened the door my stomach made the worst noise. like you know jerma worst noise? tummy worst noise 2022. and i swear humans can really learn quickly what signals mean because in every single one of these cases, that specific gurgling i got is a surefire signal to GET MY ASS A TOILET AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN.

anyway i told this to my mom. so she says i may have covid because theres some gut-related problems being recorded with the new omicron variant. but the more likely scenario is that i have a norovirus that’s causing me gastroenteritis.

my mom says to call the wellness center and i’m like really losing my mind at this point because 1. theyre not on campus. theyre on another campus. 2. what the fuck are they gonna do over the phone??? i call them anyway and i’m like starting to cry now.

there was a rapid covid testing site set up outside of boar’s head literally MINUTES before but after 2pm they took it down. i was like, full on crying now. i am absolutely in hell. long story short i called that wellness center they signed me up for their patient portal and scheduled me for a PCR and rapid covid test tomorrow which i’ll be doing. but i was like boiling with frustration at this point. none of this is solving my current fucking issue. how fucking hard is it to get someone to go to CVS and get imodium for me so i can stop the onslaught of diarrhea i am current facing.

also at this point i had to reach into the emergency stock toilet paper because we ran out. and it was hurting my asshole so bad. after this i decided that since nobody was going to help me i had to bite the onions and risk shit dripping down my pants and go to CVS myself. i bought the imodium, some pepto bismol, and a gatorade zero after waiting on line between a stupid asshole in front of me taking forever to pay and a screaming child behind me whose mother just let him carry on. i tried to get the fuck out of there. but my card didnt go through so i had to step back in and try it again. then i got the fuck out of there. and as soon as i was leaving and at the red light my stomach did the Bad Churn and i was like. fuck no. no no. but i managed to suck it back up into my colon through sheer force of mental will and gluteus muscle power.

after yelling in the car at slow drivers on the road (nearly in tears…again), i found that someone took my parking space closer to my dorm room—course—so i had to powerwalk. when i got back i went straight for the bathroom for the i dont fuckin knowth time.

my ass felt like hellfire now. like someone stuck a sour warhead candy in my asshole and it eroded the membrane. and honestly considering that diarrhea is acidic that’s basically what happened at the chemical level. couldnt find any flushable wipes at CVS so all i have is this thin, coarse toilet paper. i was in HELL. and yet it still somehow managed to get worse.

anyway at least i have my imodium. i’m told to take one after every loose stool. i brought my gatorade and the medication into the bathroom for just that. the thing is the little silver sheets they come in are IMPOSSIBLE to fucking open. i managed to tear it with my bare teeth using an unnecessary amount of force to open them.

after two imodium, i noticed my bowels started to behave. i could actually exit the bathroom and feel at peace. so i went to lay down in bed and i began writing my professors a letter saying i’m sorry for two setbacks in a row (the first was the medication notification i sent them yesterday that my meds i need to stay awake and focus still haven’t been refilled. they are now though.)

i was just so upset because i was planning on actually doing work today because i FINALLY got my meds refilled, especially a lot of work for one of my big projects, but then i was hit with this. and i was trying to find a way to write a message to my professors, especially the one for that assignment where the due dates are firm unless there’s “documented exceptional circumstances” that this isn’t a joke to get out of doing work and and this legitimately immediately proceeded my medication notice even though i dont have a doctors note for it. but i sent it and thankfully i got an understanding response from that professor.

i was fine for about an hour. i was feeling really tired, my eyelids were heavy, still feeling terrible and bloated, and headache from crying. my stomach started to feel unsettled more than usual (in terms of today’s usual), so i took a pepto. i felt like complete shit. i still needed to do laundry, i still need to take a shower. everything at once was collapsing on me and i didnt have anyone to help me. my heart started to beat more aggressively, and that is never ever a good sign for me. in the back of my mind i knew what the fuck that was signaling but i dismissed it.

my mom told me to do my laundry tomorrow and that i should just get into a shower today. so i was preparing to get into the shower. i put on my shower flip-flops in but standing up gave me the runs so i ran in with my flip-flops on on.

and when i sat down i felt really, really sick. i couldn’t dismiss the way my heart was beating now, so knowing what that meant, i asked my mom, “what if i need to puke”. and she said “you will puke honey”

and what happened next was genuinely one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

i was suddenly spewing gastric liquid from both ends. i threw the fuck up all over myself and on the bathroom floor and i ran up without having wiped to the sink and threw up in there. and i swear i like i couldnt even think. my brain’s cortex literally just collapsed in this moment. my mind went blank. i had no idea where i was or what i was doing. i couldnt fucking think, i could not fucking see, my ears were all ringing and shit. i went back to the toilet as best i could and then started to process it. and i felt like i was going to fucking die in there with no one to hear me or help me. i literally couldn’t see anything for such a prolonged time. my vision was just white and spotty and i was dizzy and breathing heavy. i was staring at the ceiling just trying to process what the fuck just happened, the mess i now have to deal with, and the implications for it made me feel like i was in a dream and i was having a nightmare. i was just literally on the toilet sopping wet from cold sweat and vomit, the majority of which was pooled in my underwear and pants, behind multiple doors that require keys to access, away from home, with none of my roommates around (my pants are pulled down which would be humiliating if they were around anyway). and given that this is some kind of virus it’s highly contagious. so i just sat there and thought nobody was going to help me, i might fucking die if not from dehydration then from brain damage because it’s been a minute and my vision still isn’t back to normal, and ive never felt so fucking helpless in my entire life.

i tried my hardest texting my mom but i couldnt fucking see what i was typing.

the symptoms were like the kind where you stand up fast except way more intense. this lasted for a solid two minutes (according to the timestamps on the messages i sent my mom)

after this my mom called me and she guided me through what i should do but just Having someone there made all the difference.

despite all this, i went into the shower and washed all the undigested green beans and peanuts from YESTERDAY (so apparently my stomach was having issues yesterday if these were undigested) out of my clothes and flushed them down the toilet, i sanitized the bathroom from head to toe with lysol wipes, took a shower for myself as i was intending to anyway but kept having anxiety waves that made me feel like i was gonna throw up again but i didn’t. miserable hell. at this point standing up made me queasy but i went back to my room and slowly opened two new garbage bags, one for my wet clothes and the other for if i had to puke again. i got up and took my smelly wet clothes hanging in the shower and stuffed them in the bag but had to take a breather. then i took the bag from inside the wastebasket, tied it up, and put in the new garbage bag and put it next to my bed if i had to puke again. then i climbed into bed in my velcro towel and headwrap and my mom stayed on with me until i was feeling better and she had to shower. been sipping my fluids to rehydrate. i laid in bed until i felt well enough to change into some pajamas. though i really wished i had someone who couldve … idk at least actively aided me though? idk why it’s always me bending over backwards for myself when im in fucking hell right now.

and here i am now writing this post. lol sorry needed to vent

[sweetmidnights]

All Too Well (part 2)-- Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader

Request: “Hurt/comfort prompt "why haven’t you called?” “I’ll never be good enough” “theres no reason to apologize" “your better off without me, I know you are” “it would take much more than that to drive me away” “please, open the door” and fluff prompt “i will always choose you” “your stunning” for emily prentiss x fem!reader. hurt/comfort.“

Words: 2.3k

Warning: I have a really hard time writing the typical scenario in which these phrases would all be used at the same time. So I tried to get a little creative with it. This comfort is kinda niche, the kind of comfort that I would need.

AO3

part 1

--------

Two weeks had gone by since New Year's Eve and life was slowly going back to normal. When Derek had called the next morning, asking what had happened, you told him the truth: that Emily had shown up and that you had made an ass of yourself as you burned yourself to the quick with your anger. It weighed heavily on your soul the foul words you had said to Emily but you couldn't bring yourself to regret the catharsis doing so had brought. A weight had been lifted from your shoulders now that Emily had finally heard of the words she had denied you from speaking with her radio silence.

"Sergio, look what Aunt Penny got you!" you said as you pulled a small box out of your purse. The team had just finished up a case and the technical analyst had invited you out to brunch while the team flew home because she wanted to check up on you after the New Year's debacle. Inside the box was a cute little bowtie collar that was your favorite color.

"You're going to look so handsome in this, yes you are," you cooed as you fastened it around the feline's neck. Sergio began to purr and nudge his head against the palm of your hand. Any reason for attention was good enough to make him happy, even if it came from being put in silly cat clothes. He really was the most patient boy.

Three gentle knocks sounded from the door and you looked down at Sergio, cocking your head.

"Who could that be, sweet boy? Does mama have a visitor?"

You walked to the foyer and looked through the peephole. Staring back at you was a ragged-looking Emily, her hair thrown into a messy bun on her head and an oversized sweatshirt she had once stolen from you hanging limp from her shoulders. She must have come straight from the jet and the guilt on your conscience from the way you had last spoken to her left little room for hesitation in opening the door.

With little fanfare or greeting, you let Emily in, guiding her to sit at the kitchen counter where Sergio was grooming himself.

"Hi, baby boy," she said softly in his direction, the cat's ears immediately perking up as he began to trill and aggressively throw his body against Emily's hands.

You let the two get reacquainted for a few seconds before clearing your throat and speaking up.

"I'm sorry for the way I behaved the last time you were here, Emily. I was out of line and I said horrible things that you didn't deserve."

Your words were honest and sincere, you were sorry for the anger and hatred that spewed from your lips and any pain that you had caused the woman, no matter how justified they may have seemed.

"There is no reason to apologize, Y/N. I probably deserved worse after the way I left things and then just waltzing back in here thinking that everything would be fine." Emily continued to pet Sergio as she spoke, splitting her attention between you and the furry creature. "What you said stung, sure, but I think I needed to hear it."

"Well, I'm still sorry," you responded, coming to sit on the stool next to Emily's at the counter. "I could have said it a hundred different ways."

Emily nodded her head and let out a deep breath.

"I—I want to talk about what happened. I owe you one hell of an apology and an explanation," she said as she looked to your face, scanning for any hint as to what you were feeling. You only gave a nod of consent in response before Emily continued.

"I am so incredibly sorry for the way that I have hurt you," Emily began, her free hand twitching with the desire to grab yours. "The way I treated you is completely inexcusable and I will admit that from the moment I came home from Paris until the moment I broke up with you, and even beyond, I wasn't taking into account the fact that you were another living person with feelings that would be impacted by the choices I was making."

You didn't speak as Emily continued with her apology and explanation, wanting to hear her out in her entirety before you let your voice break the spell of her vulnerability.

"After I 'died' and came back, everything felt so wrong. The team didn't feel the same, DC didn't feel the same, this apartment didn't feel the same, even our relationship didn't feel the same. I felt like I was spending so much time and effort trying to force the old pieces of my life back together that I didn't leave any room for who I had become. I felt trapped and suffocated like I was living a life I didn't deserve anymore, like I was an imposter sliding into the life of a woman who had died in Boston."

Your breath hitched at the mention of Boston, memories flooding back from the seven months you had grieved Emily.

"And that isn't an excuse for the way I treated you, not in the slightest. I just want to give some context for what was going on."

You nodded and allowed for Emily to continue.

"When I came back, the only thing that was the same was your love for me and, in return, my love for you. I took for granted the fact that when I came home, you were just so relieved to have me back that you barely asked any questions, barely had any reaction at all. I realize in hindsight that you probably were in shock and then after were spending so much time trying to help me heal that there wasn't room for you to have your emotions or to process your own trauma from the ordeal.

"The last thing I had wanted was to hurt you. But I was too afraid to let you in. I was ashamed of myself for causing you so much pain and I felt like I no longer deserved your love. Every time you tried to meet me halfway, I couldn't accept the truce because that meant you would see me. I couldn't buy the house or move to New York because that meant there would be nothing left between us but my trauma that I wasn't ready to unpack. So, I fled to London where I could have my patched-up friendships and not have to acknowledge to the only person in the world that would have known any better that I was not okay."

You could feel tears stinging in your eyes as Emily described how she had felt, how the relationship had been crumbling for so much longer than you wanted to recognize.

"In London, things started to feel better. There was no expectation of who I should be, there was no pressure for me to return to being a person that didn't exist anymore. I was able to work through my shit and keep myself busy. But for those first two years, I knew that there was still someone waiting for me back home to return. I knew that you were waiting for me to get all whole and healed and come back to you."

A frown pulled at the corners of your mouth as Emily continued to speak. You had never wanted Emily to feel like she had to be anything other than who she was in that moment. You didn't care if you ever got the "old" Emily back, you had just wanted Emily back period.

"So as the time came that we were going to close the distance, I panicked. I was afraid that you moving to London would uncover all of the ways that I wasn't the woman you loved anymore, and I was even more afraid that you would want that woman back despite how much healthier I had become after letting her go."

Unable to sit quietly any longer, you interrupted Emily. "I would have never wanted that, Emily. I just wanted you; I just wanted to love you."

Emily let out a shaky sigh and wiped at her face, tears finally falling freely, something that had rarely happened in all the time you had known her.

"I know that now," Emily said, fussing with the elastic holding her hair up. "But I was so messed up after Doyle, I was hurting so much that I was still constantly in fight or flight. I still couldn't slow down long enough to realize you weren't the enemy, that I was safe."

You sat silently once more, unsure of what to say.

"I fucked up, big time," Emily said with a bit of a snort. "But I'm healing and I'm growing and I want nothing more than another chance to make this right with you."

"I'm so sorry that you were going through all of that," you said, looking at Emily's tear-stained face. "I wish I could have been a better support to you through that."

You ran your fingers through your hair and tried to suck in a breath.

"I love you, Emily, and I don't think I will ever stop. But how can I trust that I will finally be worth it this time? That I will be worth the vulnerability and the work and the therapy? Maybe you will get shot and have some kind of epiphany that you're not supposed to be in DC anymore. Or what if you go through some kind of midlife crisis and realize that there are a hundred other things more worthy of your time and a thousand other people more worthy of your love?

"You broke me, Emily. And I don't know that I am even worth the effort to fix. I wasn't enough for you when I was normal me, how can I trust that I will be enough now? What if you listen to all my shit and decide that it's too much? What will I do then?"

The independent part of you internally cringed as you spoke to Emily about your insecurities, scolding you for letting your own anxious monologue become words for Emily to hear.

"It would take a lot more than that to drive me away," Emily said, responding to your unease by taking your hand in hers. "I've learned my lesson and if you'll let me, I want to spend every day making up for all the ways I have failed you."

A stirring of hope began to flutter in your chest as you watched Emily's eyes melt into a warmth that only shone through with sincerity and compassion. It would go against everything you stood for to allow for this woman who made you feel so worthless back into your life. But as you watched the strongest, most stoic woman you know cry openly as she professed her love, noticing how her raven hair curled in tendrils around her neck and her soft hands comforted both you and Sergio, you couldn't help but wonder what if. What if you took that chance just one more time?

"If we do this, we start from the beginning. The very beginning," you said, finally flipping your hand so that Emily could interlock your fingers.

"Understood. I want to do this the right way, I want to regain your trust."

"And you have to promise that even if I let all of my gray hairs grow in and get old and stop wearing makeup and I act like a pathetic, insecure teenager, you still won't give up on me."

Emily's heart broke with your words, remembering back to everything you said on New Year's and how you had known about her fling with her young secretary in London.

"I will always choose you. You're stunning now and you always will be, even when your brain tells you to hate yourself and you need extra reassurance. I love you."

Without giving a response, you threw yourself into Emily's arms, hugging her tightly for the first time in what felt like forever, taking in the sounds and smells of being in her embrace again. Emily pulled back first, gripping your chin as she spoke.

"You are so incredibly enough, Y/N, and I am sorry that I made you feel otherwise. You are strong, capable, and one of the most loving people that I know. You were enough back then, you always have been enough, I was the one who was too stupid to see it, okay?" Emily said as she trailed her thumb across your cheek. "There is no universe in which you are ever unworthy of love, of my love. No matter how you're feeling or who you've become, you will always be enough."

Those last words, the reassurance you had been desperate to hear from the moment you locked eyes at Rossi's party, were the last push you needed to take the plunge.

"Okay, let's try again," you said hopefully, looking into Emily's eyes.

It was understood that that was a lot of ground to cover before you and Emily could really fall back into love, before you could rebuild what had been destroyed. There would be years of therapy, hours upon hours of work dedicated to repairing all the trust that had been broken. But, at the end of the day, you were two damaged people committed to making a life together filled with love, light, compassion, and security.

This was step one, but you had faith that you would walk hand-in-hand with Emily through them all and would make it to the other side happier, stronger, and more in love than you had been before.

taglist: @morcias // @storiesofsvu // @demisicle // @prentisspoppet // @ssajemilyprentiss // @alexbllake // @prentissology // @agcntemily // @sapphicalexblake // @temilyrights // @maxinish // @the-fallen-left-stars // @shorttstackk // @none2434 // @illbeyourgg // @5raysofsunshine // @hippiemuppet // @sapphic-stress // @iminluvwithpenemily // @simmonsmilf // @ms-calhoun // @captainchilly // @mariahv1677

[i-eight-sigma-pi]

octopath traveler omg omg wowee crazy

i just beat it for the first* time so let's discuss. *(i have done four playthrus of this game, 2 of which finished all stories and only this recent one beating the final boss.)

I deeply love this game.. here are my thoughts.

My favourite soundtrack of any video game ever. It's like 80 tracks and every one is one I enjoy listening to. i can't even list my favourites because it would be like... well all the character themes are great.. same with the battle/boss themes.. and most of the town themes are good too!!

boost/break system is genius and makes no battle feel like a slog or a mashfest because the optimal way to get through fights isn't to mash a, it's to be actually strategic and plan out turns. so much customization with the jobs and support skills, and there's a ton of ways to become really overpowered which is fun too.

all the protags are great and interesting!! even for the stories that I felt were weaker the characters are enjoyable to watch. even though there is barely any character interaction between the main 8 (which is THE biggest problem with the game, btw.. so much wasted potential.. :/), when it does happen in the travel/tavern banter it's always great.

it looks beautiful.. even in hindsight, after seeing the octopath 2 trailers and comparing them, n realizing that every cutscene is static camera movements.. the sprites are still detailed, locations varied... and goshdarn i love the bloom filter

yes the final boss is weirdly structured and the way you unlock it is very dumb. the fact that there is an 8-fight boss rush followed by a two phase final boss that is exponentially more difficult than anything else in the game that you have to fight using every party member and also you can't save is incredibly stupid. the fight itself is fine and stressful in a fun way, but also not a fun way because you know that if you lose you have to redo the stupid gauntlet again.

tip for playing this video game: if you want everyone to be evenly leveled by endgame: instead of everyones ch1, ch2, etc... have two completely separate teams. do 4 party members entire plots before getting the rest. this is how i did it on this playthrough and it helped spread exp and shook up the gameplay at the halfway point. makes the chapter structure of the game a little less formulaic too.

but...... theres just this indescribable charm and heart to it in the small details... being able to learn information about every npc, the character-specific transitions into the boss themes, the surprisingly detailed worldbuilding/lore, having a ton of battle voicelines where everyone says the name of their attack or says cheesy ice puns or whatever.. even though this game has many problems i can't hate it because i know there'll be something moments later that puts a big grin on my face.

so yeah. play this game or at least listen to the ost please. there is also a sequel releasing feb 24 that will probably fix most problems with this game. i'm typing this on my computer so i can't use heart emojis but pretend that there are a bunch right now. video games !!!!!

[adonis-koo]

to the moon and back

Summary: Sometimes the distance in relationships really does make a strain and sometimes...it can really make quite the experience, at least in your experience with your boyfriend who only lives half way across the world...

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader, theres like,,,implied Taehyung/Reader if you really squint

Genre: angst, smut,

Word Count: 6.4k

Tags: long distance relationship that I accidentally projected way too much of my own personal experience into 😃, Jungkook just really loves MC, skype sex, I am sorry, mutual masturbation, a little praise kink, Jungkook says baby in korean a lot and once again I am sorry, sex toys, a lil overstim, nothing too crazy tbh, dirty talk, dom!jungkook and sub!MC 🤑

Note: I missed ldr!Jungkook and MC which is based off this sorta imagine I did for them! So I cured it by writing a lil bit about them!! :)

“Hey Jungkook…” 

The said man in question suddenly perked up from where he had been looking down, half his hair tied up and he was rubbing his eyes, he looked tired these days and sometimes you couldn’t help but feel bad. Long distance relationships weren’t always what they were cracked up to be and it wasn’t like you were intentionally looking for a ball and chain at the time...

But well, it was a long night, you were slightly drunk and in a long dry spell so you thought, what the hell? When you signed up for a sub/dom dating website. Again, your intentions weren’t to actually date someone, you were just slightly drunk and horny, and waking up the morning after your phone had been blown up by your now boyfriend. It was innocent at first, you both had a good laugh (to somewhat of your embarrassment) about the whole drunk thing and you were just curious to get to know him. 

It was from there you had learned he lived halfway across the planet in South Korea and not only this but when you began exchanging photos he was by far the most beautiful man you had ever seen. One thing led to another and eventually you both decided to make it official. 

You were used to this of course, you had never actually met him in person and sometimes you felt a little apprehensive to do so, you knew it would hurt Jungkook severely if he ever found out but still...sometimes it felt like you just didn’t know him as much as you wanted too. 

Time zones were a literal hell, by the time you woke up he was getting ready to sleep and most the time texts weren’t sent until the next day, video calls were rare and usually had to wait until the weekend. It sucked. 

Jungkook, if anything, had been trying to convince you to at least fly out to see him, he even offered to pay for your ticket as he was- ahem- apparently in the chain of business for a really well known exports corporation and was a supervisor so he lived very well off in comparison to yourself, who was still in college and buried in debt with little to no money left outside of the expenses of living. 

But again, you were just...nervous...flying by yourself, to a country you had never been too, to meet a man you had never met...You knew realistically everything would be fine, Jungkook was exactly who he said he was, he wasn’t some criminal that was going to murder you and sell your body parts on the black market but…! You just wanted to be safe! To be careful even if that would never happen. 

“Hm?” Jungkook hummed, it was a late saturday night for him but he always stayed up just for you, just to be able to talk to you, to see your face, even if you went hours not talking to one another while he worked and you studied. He told you he just enjoyed looking over at his monitor and seeing you.

Currently you had been curled up on your pillow scrolling on your phone and occasionally admiring your boyfriend’s side profile and strands of hair long hair that fell from his face, “Why did you learn English?”

Jungkook raised his brow a little before suddenly laughing causing you to shift a little in embarrassment feeling as though you had said something dumb, “Well,” He rasped a little, he had been brushing up on his english ever since you started dating but he was also a little self conscious of his accent despite you saying several times over how much you adored it, “English is mandatory to learn in school but I learned extensively due to my family traveling a lot for business and work. I once spent a whole year in New York when my father was employed overseas, that was actually how I became so fluent, classes are fine but experience always teaches best in my opinion....” Jungkook’s lips curled into a smile as he hummed once more, “Which means your studies in Korean would be easier if you visited…” 

Flustered you rolled onto your back as you pressed your pillow against your face, “Jungkook…!” You whined wiggling in your best as you heard his laugh filter through the speaker, “I need you know I really need to stay and study for my finals, it makes up for over forty percent of my grade!” 

“Not even for winter break?” Jungkook let his lips jut into a pout as he laid his chin against his hand, “Jagi I have a bed that’s way too big to sleep in all by myself, are you gonna make me downgrade?” He sighed dramatically as he fell back in his computer chair pulling his hair tie out as his hair fell at his cheeks as he began to fix it. 

You ignored the heat immediately flushing between your legs at the deep rasp of his voice, “My mom’s expecting me to come home to visit for the holidays Koo…” You frowned as you peeped out from behind your pillow to find the massive pout on your boyfriend's face as he sunk in his seat. 

“Sometimes I think you’re just embarrassed to tell people we’re in a relationship,” Jungkook mumbled as he sat up in his seat, running his fingers through his hair as he sulked, obviously trying not to let your rejection make him upset but even through a screen you could always read his moods, sometimes too easily. 

“That is not true!” Your voice was immediately serious as you sat up, fixing your laptop as you set it in front of you, Jungkook was once more slouched in his seat, his hand resting on his cheek as he looked away from the screen, “That is not true Jungkook, I-...” You sighed, “I can’t just drop all my responsibilities here to visit you, you know this, you know hard I’ve been studying for finals and how much my family has been wanting to see me…” 

Jungkook didn’t reply for a moment but you could’ve sworn you heard something akin to a scoff escape his lips, “But you still haven’t told your family...have you?” 

“I haven’t had the chance…” You were immediately trying to defend your reasoning when deep down you felt bad that well...he was right...to a degree, but what were you supposed to tell you family? You met your boyfriend on an offshoot website based around sexual play and not only this but he lived half way around the world. 

“You talk to your mom on the phone weekly Y/n,” The longer Jungkook looked away from the screen the more upset he was getting and you could tell and yet you felt so helpless, it wasn’t like you could just reach over and grab his face, or simply hug him and apologize. Once again, you found yourself at a loss of what to do or say. 

It wasn’t that you wished you hadn’t met Jungkook, you’d never in your life change that night, but sometimes you wished things weren’t so complicated and that your fears wouldn’t get the best of you. And you did speak some truth, even if you weren’t nervous to meet Jungkook in person, it didn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t be able to go now with finals approaching and your family expecting you for the holidays.

“I’m just,” Jungkook inhaled sharply before letting out a sigh, “I just feel so frustrated sometimes, I want to be with you, not part time, half time, or only at night. I want to wake up with you in my arms every single day. And I can’t do that, hell I can’t even get a phone call during the week let alone a text at the same time of day if I’m lucky. We just had a work party where everyone brought their partners and I couldn’t bring mine because she lives in America.” 

His upset was beginning to make you upset, it felt like your gut was being grinded and it wrenched in an unpleasant feeling as you spoke, “Look I’m sorry okay? I can’t help it that this is where I live, I understand you want to be with me, you don’t think I want the same thing?” You put your hand on your chest, trying to keep your voice level as you swallowed harshly, “But right now, I can’t help it Jungkook. The holidays just aren’t a good time right now…” 

“Then what was the excuse during the end of the summer when you weren’t even in school and your parents didn’t want to see you?” Jungkook replied, his jaw clenched and hurt in his eyes as he questioned you, “Or was it still because you were sick in the middle of july?” 

“I just met you!” You cried out now beginning to feel genuinely hurt at your boyfriend questioning the sincerity of your feelings, “I wasn’t going to fly out to Korea to meet someone I had only been talking to for three weeks! Jungkook this is-” 

“I’m not embarrassed to be with you! God, that is literally the last thing on my mind right now! I’m embarrassed at the way we met, I’m embarrassed that I- I somehow have to explain to my family that my boyfriend lives in South Korea and that I’ve never met him and somehow explain to them that you aren’t some serial rapist or human trafficker out to sell my kidney! Because that’s exactly what I’m going to hear! And I’m sorry I just haven’t been ready to deal with that!” You couldn’t even stop the tears from flowing down your face as you pressed your hands to your eyes, “It’s easy for you to talk about us because you’re an adult who lives debt free by himself in his own apartment with your own secure job and you don’t have to answer or deal with anyone, even your own parents! That’s not how it is for me Jungkook.” 

Your head was lowered as you tried to muffle your sobs that was the only thing that filled the loud silence that filtered the air, running your hands through your hair as you took a breath. You could hear a sigh on the other side before Jungkook spoke, “Y/n…” 

“You know what,” You sniffled as you straightened up, “I’m not in the mood to talk anymore,” 

“Y/n! No! Jagi listen-” 

“No I’m done!” You argued back as you wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoody, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. Goodnight.” You clicked the end call button before closing down your laptop. Sitting now, staring at your distinct reflection on the black screen before bursting into a new set of tears. 

Your phone’s ringtone was immediately set off as you sobbed, picking it up as you harshly punched the decline call button before it quickly popped back up on the screen only for you to press it even more vehemently. Your phone lit up several times being flooded with messages from Jungkook trying to convince you to talk to him but you immediately turned off your phone as you collapsed back against your bed, weeping against your pillow as you tried to ignore the pure hurt that filtered your veins despite it being justified. 

God you shouldn’t have even said any of that to Jungkook! Really it was your fault you hadn’t seen him, you had made excuses all because you were just scared. He was probably going to break up with you now...Squeezing your pillow tight you closed your eyes as you muffled your sobs. 

“Girl why are you staring at your phone?” Lisa sighed in exasperation, “Don’t tell me…Oh shit…” She sighed as she watched your eyes begin to pitfully water, “What was it this time?” 

“I’m a horrible person be-because I can’t just fucking suck it up and tell my family about my boyfriend and- and I can’t just go visit him!” You were already wiping your eyes despite not even crying yet and you refused to ruin your mascara in a public store. The bookstore was quiet as ever and the barista who worked the cafe was still sorting magazines out on the rack not even paying attention to you both but still you had to keep up your ideals or else you’d be crying all the time. 

“You are not a horrible person oh my god!” Lisa raised her brows before scoffing, she pointed a long acrylic nail at you as she spoke, “That boy needs to calm his hormones, you are strapped for the rest of the holidays. Y/n! Come on, seriously you need to draw some boundaries with him! Just be honest and it’s going to save you both a lot of trouble.” 

You sunk in your seat as your lips began to tremble making Lisa sigh, “How many messages did he send this time?” 

“Twenty four.” You mumbled. 

“Jesus Christ.” Lisa groaned as she pressed her hand against her forehead, her bangs which had been melded together with hairspray not even moving an inch, “What even started this fight!?” 

Lisa was not only your closest friend but most times she was also your voice of reason which you knew was most times right but still you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as you twirled your straw that poked through the lid of your iced coffee, “Well it was innocent at first, I just asked him why he learned English when he was younger and it translated into him saying experience taught him best which meant going to Korea would help me with my own language studies.” 

“Why can’t you just be honest with him!? Seriously! Y/n!” She gave you her premium disappointed look as you whined, kicking your feet as you covered your hands over your face knowing she was right, but!

“That would literally crush him!” You replied feeling defeated as you slumped in your seat once more, sighing as sadness filled you, “It feels like…” You poked your tongue into your cheek as you exhaled in frustration, “No matter how hard I try, I just always end up hurting him. Jungkook would be so hurt if he knew my main reason for not wanting to see him.” 

Lisa raised her brows as she scoffed, “No he would not! If he’s so desperate to jump on your pussy he’ll come to America and not only meet you but he’ll be meeting me as well the first time. This relationship is a two way street Y/n-” 

“He has a whole team he’s managing Lisa, he’s told me he’d visit if he could schedule the time off but-” 

“All I hear is an excuse,” Lisa clacked her tongue, “Fair is fair, you’re just being cautious as anyone should be when they’re talking to someone over the internet,” She curved a brow before snorting as she sipped her drink, “Now listen, do I think he’s a kidnapper that’s gonna kill you? No. Do I think he’s a fuckboy that just really wants to smash you? Maybe, it’s your relationship. Do what you want but regardless of whether your reasoning is legit he should respect it regardless.” 

You deflated as you sighed, scrolling through his messages where he had profusely apologized several times and went on to explain that he just really wanted to be with you and never meant to dismiss your feelings on the matter. You hadn’t replied yet which made you feel even worse but truthfully, you just really wanted to talk to see him tonight on a video call and talk things over. 

“Anyways, it’s time to boss up bitch,” Lisa pulled out the three textbooks from her bag before dropping them on the table as she offered a smile, “We got finals to prep for, we’re in the two week countdown so we need to cram as much as possible.” 

Sighing you glanced down at your phone one last time before turning it off knowing the temptation to look over Jungkook’s messages would be too tempting. Putting your phone away you pulled out your notebook along with your own textbooks as you nodded, “You’re right, it’ll at least take my mind off of it…” 

You could only hope. 

You had spent the last ten minutes trying to gas yourself up, Jungkook had stopped texting around lunch time having obviously given up and giving you space as this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened and he knew if he just gave you time you’d eventually reach out to him. 

Like right now, except you felt severely embarrassed for your actions this morning and you knew you could have handled things in a better and more mature way then you had, regardless you were struggling to even send a text at the moment let alone video call him...Checking the clock on your phone you sighed, it was already 1pm in Seoul....

Jungkook if anything was probably on his computer sulking while playing video games as he usually did on his weekends off when he wasn’t talking to you. Sucking in a breath you knew you needed to talk to him now because if you didn’t you’d have to go the whole week with stale texts that never went over well and you weren’t working with much to begin with, you didn’t want to make it worse. Sighing, you sat down on your bed as you began to type.

[10:25]

‘I’m sorry I haven’t replied to any of your messages :( can you video right now?’

You chewed on your lip anxiety immediately spiking in your head as you wondered if you came across too much like a victim...Or maybe you should’ve just not mentioned the not replying to his messages and just asked if- 

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of the skype call sounding with Jungkook’s name under it, grabbing your chest you collapsed onto the bed as you made yourself comfortable, shying away from the camera as you grabbed your pillow in insecurity before accepting the call. 

“I really am sorry Jagi,” You couldn’t even open your mouth before Jungkook’s worried expression showed up on your laptop, the hoodie covering his head and just as you expected his puppy like eyes were glossed and filled with sadness, “I- I didn’t realize how much stress you were under and I shouldn’t have been so careless. This is the only time during the week that I get to see you and I really don’t want to argue…” 

You curled up against your pillow as you mumbled, “I should be the one apologizing, I know how much it means to you for us to be able to see each other in person and I need to make the time for us to be able to do that it’s just…” You had meant to tell him the truth but- “I just have a lot going on right now but I didn’t mean to take that out on you, I know you just want us to be together...” 

“Oh jagiya,” Jungkook sighed, longing filled his face and his fingers twitched a little as they ran through his hair as if wishing he could just hold you close to him, “It’s okay, I’m just glad you wanted to talk. I didn’t want the whole week to drag by without being able to talk to you, you know you always make my day better…” 

And just like that your chest blossomed with warmth as you curled up, hiding the smile that began to creep on your lips as you squeezed your pillow, “Not as much as you make my day. Especially when you send those tease pictures for me right before I need to go to bed.” You would never get enough of that addictive feeling of talking to Jungkook, his smile was always infectious.

And just like that you watch, just like every other time, in amazement at the way Jungkook’s personality switches like a light, the innocent sweet smile that was once on his lips is suddenly twisted into a cocky smirk and he leans back his chair, his long hair is slightly messy but just enough to make him look truly wicked, “Oh? Is that right gongjunim? I thought you’d appreciate it?” 

Said photo in question was sent thursday night when you were prepping for bed and Jungkook had very obviously just gotten out of the shower in the mirror selfie he had sent that displayed the chiseled abdomen and broad chest and not to mention the….ahem package he was sporting beneath the thin towel that he had purposely clutched with his free hand. 

Yeah...that nearly destroyed your right hand. 

“Well I did…” You immediately coiled up, no matter how many times this happens with your boyfriend- which is nearly every weekend, you always end up getting shy despite your thighs furiously pressing together and wetness building up in your panties, “Maybe a little too much…” 

Jungkook pressed his tongue into his cheek as his smirk widened, just his stare made you press your face into the pillow as you heard his chuckle, “What? What did you do?” 

The fact that he skipped to the golden question made you whine as you kicked your feet, you could hear another laugh from him as you curled up once more, “You know…” You mumbled, feeling your face burn as you pressed it against the pillow. 

“No baby I don’t.” Jungkook pouted but his voice rasped and something about saying baby in english with that accent of his had your fingers twitching as he puffed a breath of air in cockiness as he hummed, “Why don’t you tell me hm?” 

Shifting against the bed you shook your head, “You know what I’m talking about…” 

“Do I?” Jungkook challenged as he raised a brow, his beginning to clench as he slipped into his dominant headspace, tucking his tongue into his cheek as he asked, “If you can’t use your words would you rather show me? Be a good girl and show me, yeah?” 

Your words were muffled as you replied, “I had help…” Your face felt like it was practically on fire as you rubbed your legs together as you heard him laugh, “Then be a good girl and go get it jagiya, I’ll still be here.” You gave Jungkook a good laugh as you nearly scrambled out of bed to get your bullet vibrator off it’s charger before diving back on the bed making your laptop bounce as you sat up right. 

Jungkook meanwhile had pulled off his sweatshirt and repositioned his camera to expose his lower body, the familiar sight of his plump cherry lips exposed in that forever tainted smirk as he made himself comfortable in his chair, his thighs spreading apart and the indent in his sweats showing off proudly, “Good girl kitty, now I want you to take off your clothes, all of it.” 

You wiggled in your comfy sweatshirt feeling a little shy as you began to shed your clothes, “The bra too baby,” Jungkook coaxed as he licked his lips, his cock tightening and becoming harder at the sight of your flustered, shy expression as you unhooked your bra, there was nothing more this man wanted then to suckle on your nipples that immediately hardened against the chilled air of the room. 

Jungkook’s hand found its way to his bulge as he palmed himself through his grey sweats, “Panties too baby, I know you’re shy but you need to be a good girl and take them off. And remember your words.” He added with a low growl. 

“...Yes sir.” You mumbled, feeling chilly and exposed to nothing more then the camera on your laptop and Jungkook of course before you pulled off the panties you wore, arousal sticking to the fabric that stringed before you tossed them aside, your eyes unable to stay off his hand that kept stroking his bulge. 

“Good girl,” His lips twitched into a sadistic smile, “Now spread your legs jagiya and show me what you did to that photo I sent you, every little detail baby.” You whined as you looked away from the camera, “Jagiya…” Jungkook’s voice deepened a little in warning, “Are you gonna make me get out the controller?” 

Outwardly you’d completely deny that but inwardly....The idea nearly had you frothing out the mouth, but reluctantly you did as he asked, the chilled air nipping at your exposed warm wet folds had your levels of arousal that much higher and you could hear a soft verbal moan from Jungkook as he squeezed his hand over his cock, “Shibal,” He muttered a few other words in korean that you could only half make out before he spoke once more, “You’re so fucking wet baby. Play with yourself, don’t make me wait.” 

Tenderly you slipped your hand between your thighs, flinching a little at the cold that seeped from your fingers that met in opposition to the heat radiating off your cunt, arousal met your fingertips as you dragged them up you slit before rubbing slow circles around your clit, your lips parting a little at the idea of it being his fingers doing this to you.

Jungkook let out a little scoffed laugh, licking his lips as he pulled down his sweats just enough to free his throbbing cock, a sight you’d never fully get used too and had your mouth watering at just the sight. He was much thicker then he was long but he certainly wasn’t short, the vein on the underside of his cock displayed and you could even see his tip beginning to weep as it became red, “How bad do you wish those were my fingers playing with that little clit baby? Put those fingers inside your cunt baby,lay back and use your toy to make yourself feel good for me.

Situating your laptop before you laidback, opening your legs once more as you began to transition to your subspace as you closed your eyes, imagining his fingers dragging up your inner thighs. 

Letting your eyes open you whined at the sight of lube slipping from his cock as his hand slowly pumped his shaft, his lips parted at the sight of one finger slipping inside your cunt before pulling out and adding a second finger. You could just imagine those long thick fingers filling you up while fitting up against your g-spot. 

Fumbling with your vibrator you turned it on, switching the setting to a low pattern before carefully placing it on your aching bud. You had anticipated your reaction just as you did everytime and yet every time you still jolted, your walls tightly squeezing around your fingers as a whined squeak escaped your lips. 

“Fuck princess that’s it,” Jungkook edged you on, his tongue in his cheek as his hand squeezed around his cock before he used his free hand to grab his own toy, the fleshlight that nearly always turned you into a mess, “Bet that little hole can hardly fit your own fingers let alone my big fat cock, right baby? Yeah?” 

Your thighs were twitching as pleasure was rapidly buzzing against your clit and your walls kept squeezing around your fingers as you desperately tried to reach to your g-spot in need for an orgarsm to make up for all the anxiety and stress you had been under the whole day, “Yes! Yes sir! Ah- Mmph need you! Fuck, please! Sir.” You whimpered as your hips jolted to fuck back against your fingers.

 Jungkook pushes the opening of the flashlight over his tip as he let out a soft moan, his hips fluidly began thrusting to the point your walls were so tight you could hardly move your fingers just at the idea of his cock forcing its way inside you, you just knew this mans stroke game was good and proved it every fucking time he took out that toy.

Watching his cock disappear with every thrust inside his toy as his lips parted a little wider this time, “You want this baby? You wish this was your pussy I’m fucking nice and deep?”

Your body was too excited for all of his dirty talk as you squirmed shifting the buzzing vibrator to the sweet spot of your clit as you squeaked, trying to keep yourself from being too loud as your roommate was home, “Want it! Want it so fucking bad! Please sir! Sir!”

You were embarrassingly horny and this made worked you up every single time, your hips we’re stumbled and your walls were rapidly clenching in excitement as his thick cock rocking it’s way in and out of the toy that you could just imagine was your pussy he was fucking nice and slow, making you feel his nice fat cock with every killer slow thrust.

“Oh Jagiya,” Jungkook moaned out, “Don’t tell me my kitten is already close?” He chuckled as he watched the way your body withered the way it always did when you were close, his eyes feasting on the way your pussy was stretched so delicately against your small fingers and the way your thighs clenched and your feet kicked, “Do you need to cum so soon?” 

“Please! Please! Sir! I- I don’t think I can-“ Your thighs clamped together as your lips fell open, unable to even wait for his blessing as your orgasm ripped through your body, your toes curling as little whimpers escaped you, you could hear a long moan from Jungkook as you liddedly watched his hips stumble against his flesh light, hand running through his hair while he fumbled something in Korean. 

“Baby fuuck,” Jungkook’s voice lowered as he moaned, “Cum again princess, cum for me baby I wanna hear you make those noises again for me. Keep those little fingers stuffed inside yourself.” Jungkook’s hips kept stuttering against his toy, his cock throbbing desperate as his moans became breathy at the sight of you obeying him. You were always such a good girl.

Your fingers were aching but your desire to watch him come undone was even greater as you began pushing your fingers back against your g-spot once more, feathery whines escaping you at the feeling of pain beginning to mix with pleasure at the consistent thrum of the vibrator against your clit.

“Ah! S-sir…!” You whimpered quietly as your walls suddenly clamped around your fingers once more, “I- ah! I don’t think I can…!” 

“Yes you can,” Jungkook growled his hips bucking up into his toys faster his cock throbbing and squeezing in pleasure at the sight of your arousal slipping from your soaked cunt and the sight of your tits bouncing at the way your body kept squirming, he could only imagine what it would be like fucking you tied up and left to his mercy, “And you will,” He snapped with command, “You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me again princess. I wasn’t fucking asking.” 

Your legs immediately twitched and your breath hitched as you cried out, your back arching at the way your body listened to him so easily on command, your walls tightening around your fingers rapidly and pleasure seered into your clit as the orgasm roughly filled your body, “Ah Jungkook! Fuck, fuck, fuck…! Fuck! Ooh!” Moans escaped you louder then you intended as your hips desperately fucked into your fingers to ride the powerful orgasm you experienced.

Jungkook moaned softly as his hips bucked one last time into his toy before cum was filling it up at the idea of milking all of himself in your little warm cunt, letting his hips swivel as he milked every last drop of cum from his cock as he moaned before relaxing back in his chair.

Chuckling a little at watching your lower body scramble at your vibrator continuing to drill against your over stimulated clit as you struggled to turn it off, “Take your fingers out baby, I wanna see them.” Jungkook licked his lips as you obeyed him, pulling your fingers from your cunt to reveal the thick layer of arousal and cum on them nearly making Jungkook’s mouth water with the desire to lick every drop off your fingers, this man couldn’t even describe what he’d do to go down on you.

“Ah fuck, jagiya,” Jungkook laughed, a little flustered at the way you sat up, looking directly into the camera before putting your fingers in your mouth, licking off the salty and somewhat musky taste of your arousal which in your opinion wasn’t that great and Jungkook would never accept your opinion on the matter, “You’re gonna make me hard all over again.” He whined as he carefully pulled the toy off his cock, feeling the white substance already rolling down his softening shaft to reveal the mess he had made.

You giggled a little, feeling shy once more as you stood up with wobbling legs, “I don’t have to help with that.” You called out, grabbing your favorite sweatshirt to pull over your body. It was your favorite because...Well because Jungkook had sent it to you and because it was big on him it was massive on you. 

You absolutely adored it, coming back in view you collapsed onto your bed as you curled up, Jungkook had just finished cleaning himself up, fixing his camera for you to see the beautiful radiant smile and eyes light up that was your boyfriend. He always had that dreamy look in his eyes while looking at you everytime you finished having Skype sex and everytime it always made you shy as you grabbed your pillow and curled up.

“You’re always so fucking good baby,” He groaned as he ran a hand through his hair, his smile permanently on his face as he stared in adoration at your curled up figure that was practically buried in his sweatshirt, “Mmm you were such a good girl too, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head when I told you to cum again.” 

He had a boyish laugh at the way you curled up, “Stoop! You know I was already overstimulated, you better hope my roommate didn’t hear anything…!” You covered your face in embarrassment at the realization you were a little loud.

Jungkook’s face stiffened a little at the mention of your roommate before he tried to play it off with a small laugh, “Yeah well, what’s he gonna do about it anyways? You were just being my good little girl jagiya.” You covered your face in semi embarrassment. You knew Jungkook was redirecting the conversation back to verbal aftercare because you knew he didn’t like the fact that your roommate was a guy who was not only your age but also very attractive. 

It wasn’t like Taehyung was ever interested in you, but you had mentioned to Jungkook when you first started talking that you used to have a crush on him. You felt as though some days that still lingered in Jungkook’s mind despite the fact that you didn’t even look at Taehyung twice anymore.

Especially since you and Jungkook became an item, however you also hadn’t told Jungkook that Taehyung had been...Well you weren’t sure what he was doing to be honest outside a few innuendos and winks. It mainly weirded you out as he had never paid any attention to you but regardless. This wasn’t about your roommate, this was about your amazing, handsome boyfriend who somehow managed to make you cum twice just by the sound of his voice, not everything could do that.

“You make it difficult to try and disobey.” You mumbled as a smile tugged in your lips, closing your eyes at the idea of his arms wrapped tight around you and his forehead pressed against your own, you could almost feel his warm breath against your face and his lips pressing against your forehead.

“Mmm id like to see you try,” Jungkook laughed as he leaned back his seat, letting out a content sigh as he spoke, “I’d make you wear those vibrating panties the whole day after making you overestimate yourself and I’d make sure to wake up every hour just to hold that button for three minutes straight.” 

“You’re so mean!” You whines as you fluttered your feet before crawling under your covers as you yawned, “You’re already planning a punishment when I haven’t even done anything wrong.” 

“I’m not!” Jungkook laughed as he objected, moving his hair from his face, “I’m just telling you what would’ve happened if you weren’t obedient. I mean, that’s not always a bad thing baby.” He sent a wink your way that immediately made your cheeks warm as you pressed your face against the blanket with a giggle.

“I can’t do that over a video call…! Maybe if you were here in my bed I’d be a little more defiant.” You always had a hard time trying to flirt confidently but Jungkook always ate it up every single time you threw him a crumb.

“Jagiya if you can’t be defiant over a call what makes you think you’d manage it when I’m between your legs sucking the soul out of your pussy?” Jungkook was immediately cackling at the way you shoved your face into your pillow with a whine, “Exactly baby, you can’t even look at me right now.” He cooed out.

“Well maybe I’m just a little more bold in person.” You challenged, peeping out from behind your pillow making Jungkook chuckle as he shook his head, his eyes filled with adoration as he leaned back in his seat.

“Well sweetheart I’ll just have to see for myself one day huh?” Jungkook’s smile was so beautiful, it was arguably one of your favorite features as he spoke, “You know I love you to the moon and back jagiya.”

“Well I love you love you to the stars and beyond,” You whispered back as you hugged your pillow close, closing your eyes sleepily as you smiled….One day...Hopefully you’d overcome your anxiety soon to make the one day become soon, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand being apart from the one person who would never stop making your day.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[changbinslovelylegs]

NSFW ATEEZ as different types of vibrators

Hi all!!!! just a little something while I’m currently writing the first chapter of a tease, if you haven’t done so yet please have a look at the a tease character profiles HERE and you can look at my full masterlist HERE. I made this just for fun based on what vibrator I think suits each ateez member, lil warning I added pictures hehe. Very smutty ahead n I made most of them kinky.

Park Seonghwa - Rabbit vibrators

The long shaft goes inside while the smaller part stays outside (i.e. stimulates both your clit n g spot at the same time hehe) can change in intensity and pattern.

- Really enjoys playing with the intensities like starting from the lowest and as you get closer Hwa will up the intensity

- If Hwa is feeling really dom he will turn it to it’s highest intensity and the pattern thats just constant and theres no mercy until you’ve cum; maybe even some overstim if he’s feeling really really dom

- Really into guided masturbation where Hwa tells you how to use it (i.e. speed up, change pattern, stop, continue, etc)

- If Hwa can make you cry while using it on you then he loves it; “it just feels too good doesn’t it princess” “your such a good girl for me taking it so well”

Jeong Yunho - Clitoral vibrators

specifically designed for clitorial stimulation but may be inserted inside if you wish to do so; can change in intensity and pattern.

- Likes to use it while fucking you as he knows you can’t come from penetration alone (you want to learn how but for now you need clit stimulation)

- Actually very sweet and gentle when using it on you, will only change intensity if you say it’s ok

- Likes to make you desperate by always switching the patterns, especially when your close; when he’s in the mood for some teasing

- Might even use it on himself; but of course he won’t tell you about it

Song Mingi - Wand vibrators

The only part that vibrates is the ballon shaped part on the end and is made for clitorial stimulation; clear to see buttons for changing in intensity and pattern. (fun fact it was originally made to be a neck massager.)

- Likes to play a game you both made up called the “dice game” where one dice has intensities on it and the other has pattens and whatever the dice lands on is what the vibrator is set to (e.g. low and fast pulses) and you have to cum from that only

- If Mingi needs to punish you he will either edge you and in the end deny you or turn it all the way up with constant pattern and overstimulate you until your crying and begging for him to have mercy

- Sometimes higher intensities can get overwhelming for you but Mingi knows you still want it because you haven’t safe worded so he might praise you a bit saying things like “doing so well gorgeous” or “just breathe babygirl i’m right here”

- Might even use it as a neck massager or just a massager in general; Mingi love to use it when giving you a back massage and you love the feeling of it pressed against your back especially the lower half

Kim Hongjoong - Suction vibrators

Instead of regular vibrations this toy uses suction and pressure waves that some people say mimic the feeling of oral sex. Designed for clitoral stimulation; can change in intensity but ??? on pattern. (I don’t think so.)

- Lives for overstimulating you with it as it feels like him eating you out but not so the waves can keep on coming

- If Joonie’s punishing you he might also use this toy and tease you by saying things like “you wish it were my real tongue don’t you?”

- Of course if it’s a punishment he will deny you (but don’t worry thats the only time he will ever deny you)

- Also loves to watch you use it on yourself and beg for it to be Hongjoon instead because the toy is never enough

Choi San - Bullet vibrators

Can be used for both vaginal and clirotal stimulation; very small in size so it’s discrete and good for traveling. Depending on which one it may change in intensity and pattern.

- Another more vanilla gentle member when using this toy, will use it when fucking you so you get some clitoral stimulation

- Loves to tease you and get you wet by rubbing it all over your thighs

- Sometimes will put it in his mouth (cause it’s tiny) and eat you out with it

- The one time San got freaky was when he asked you to wear it out to dinner and the rules were if you could be as quiet as possible and not cum until San allowed it you would be rewarded (he allowed you halfway through)

Jung Wooyoung - G spot vibrators?

Specifically designed to go inside and stimulate your g spot; but can be used outside (clit) if you wish to do so. Can change in intensity and pattern.

- You really wanted to learn how to have a g spot orgasm because you’ve never had one before and Wooyoung is always willing to help, plays with the intensities to see which one you like the best

- Might also just put it inside while he’s eating you out and turns it all the way up just as you cum because it drives you wild; you once squirted the first time he did that but not since

- If he really wants to be devious he will make it the lowest intensity and most infrequent pattern and watch as you squirm and beg for more for him to only say in return “be a good girl for me and cum just from this and you might get a reward”

- The reward being the toy turned up in intensity just as you wished for which has you chanting breathlessly thank you.

Kang Yeosang - Ring / wearable vibrators

Designed to be worn as a ring (i.e. on one of your fingers) and mainly used for clitorial stimulation; though if stretched properly it may go inside. Depending on which one it may change in intensity and pattern.

- Loves to tease you by “accidentally” brushing your clit with it

- While fucking you he will do the same with his fingers (one of them has the ring on it)

- Might also massage you with his fingers n the ring, could honestly massage you for hours he would live for it

- Decides between edging n overstimulating you depending on his mood

Choi Jongho - egg vibrators

(sorry I couldn’t find out what it was actually called)

Can be used for both clitorial and vaginal stimulation; as they are small and can fit inside but may also be used on the outside. Depending on which one it may change in intensity and pattern.

- Loves that he can tease you with it because since theres a cord only he can hold the remote part

- Enjoys edging you with it until your a crying mess begging him to let you cum

- Only if you’ve been a good girl and followed all his rules he will let you cum

- Also enjoys putting one in the pussy and the other in the ass while sucking your clit and theres no mercy until you cum

[sleepyboisinc]

soo,,, the secret au huh?

its a band au. its a fucking band au. im posting this super impulsively, and it has no editing i think so if there are any mistakes,,,, fuck it idc

also this ends in a sort of cliffhanger i was gonan write more but i got tired of writing and never got the motivation to again im sorry lul

this au isnt just by me, theres other ppl involved in it too!! mainly bad timezone gang in technohive but others also helped :)

anywaysyysyshdhsh yea read if u want to ig

wilbur soot was discovered by a record label when he was 15 after he wrote the squid song. they didn't care that the lyrics were objectively bad, it was wilbur’s voice that grabbed their attention. they interviewed him and decided that they were gonna give him a chance. wilbur, who had always dreamed of being a singer, jumped at the opportunity. the interview went very well. they even asked him to sing a few songs and he nailed it. however, he wasn’t perfect. he still needed some vocal training. they spent an entire day discussing and signing paperwork. the label ended up arranging for wilbur to attend music classes to enhance his voice and get better at the guitar.

time-skip about 3 years. wilbur is 18 and is phenomenal at singing and the guitar. he starts going to uni and meets his roommate, an american student named technoblade who plays the violin. wilbur and techno quickly become friends, bonding over music and other mutual interests like video games. techno plays mini gigs on the street and at bars close to campus to make some money for himself. particularly at a little bar called “the harpy’s nest”

one day, wilbur gets bored sitting at home alone, so he goes to watch techno’s gig. he arrives halfway through the set and watches for about 5 minutes. after the gig is over, he watches as techno interacts with the bartender, a young man only slightly older looking than the two of them. techno notices wilbur and calls him over, introducing him to the bartender, philza. the two immediately hit it off and by the end of the night, they’ve exchanged numbers and a promise to meet up phil’s next shift.

-

over the next few months, the trio became best friends. wilbur learns that phil plays the drums and has several eps. one ep in particular, “hardcore2” blew up a bit in their general area and phil gained a bit of traction as a musician. the three boys spend most of their time hanging out at wilbur and techno’s dorm, or at phil’s bar. they stay up till ungodly hours playing video games and talking. their other friends dub them the sleepy boys, because of how tired they all are the next day. 

however, as the months fly by, the date wilbur is supposed to finish training and write his first songs draws closer. he worries he’s bitten more than he can chew and he wonders if he’s even ready for fame. a month later he is assigned a manager, pete. pete says that his training contract has expired, meaning that he's ready to start writing his album. wilbur says that he needs to think a bit before he starts. pete was about to tell him he can’t have extra time to think because he signed a contract, but seeing the look of stress on wilbur’s face, he allows him 2 days before he starts. wilbur goes on a walk to think. he curses himself for second-guessing himself now. he realizes he doesn’t wanna do this alone. then he thinks of techno and phil. 

what if they formed a band? that way he wouldn’t have to do this alone. he’s sure that they'd love to make a band together as well. he goes to them and… they agree. he goes to pete and asks him if they can be a three-piece band. pete says he needs to ask his higher-ups first. wilbur doesn’t hear from pete for 4 days and starts to worry. what if they won’t allow it? it wasn't part of the agreement so they have every right to turn him down. at the end of the fourth day, pete calls him and says that the higher-ups have agreed. they had to choose a group name by the end of 2 days. the trio was over the moon.

this was the start of sleepy bois inc.

-

their record label wasn’t massive, so the boys took to playing on the streets and in bars to gain some traction. they slowly started gaining recognition and grew faster when they made a youtube channel. they released several eps and a few albums, and gained a following over the next few years.

their first big break came 3 years after the band was formed. they had a decent following, about 50k subs on youtube and slightly less on other platforms. one day, jschlatt from lunch club, a massive boy band, got their music recommended to him on youtube. he’s intrigued and listened to it, and was surprised at how much he liked it. he liked it so much, that he decided to shout them out on twitter. 

sleepybois inc’s popularity skyrocketed, and the members of both bands grew close. when lunch club announced their next tour, they revealed that sleepybois inc would open for them. the fans freak out, and many iconic moments and inside jokes form from this tour. 

-

tommy innit was 19 years old and was preparing to become a musician. he was almost done with the 4 years of vocal and keyboard training provided by a record label and had to make a decision: be a solo artist, or join a band. if he chose the band, he has another 2 options: be assigned into a band that already exists under this label or make a new one with people that he knows. 

tommy is also a massive fan of lunch club, and sees that jschlatt shouted out a band called sleepybois inc. he likes them a lot and becomes a fan of their stuff too. what tommy didn’t know is that they were at the same label he was training at and were open for a 4th member. 

back on the music, tommy ended up going with band. he debated between making a band or being assigned one. after a while, he ended up going with being assigned. he was nervous about this because he'd have to integrate himself into their dynamic and feared that fans won’t like him, but he figured it’d be easier than making his friends all learn instruments.

being assigned a band is a process, so tommy had a couple of months free. during this time, lunch club was on tour with sleepybois inc and tommy got vip tickets to a show. so he went to the meet and greet and gave his number to sleepybois inc saying ”hmu if u need a keyboardist lul” as a joke (this is a very important detail i will include it f u)

so come around the day of tommy getting assigned. he has to do auditions for the bands that the record label selected for him to join. management has narrowed it down to the youngest 2 bands at their label who are open for a member: one of which is sleepybois inc. 

-

it had been a month since tommy interviewed for sleepybois inc. he did pretty well at it, and had been talking to the boys a lot since then. he still hadn’t had news on whether he joined though. 

it was 3 am. tommy had been working on school work for hours and had only just managed to finish up for the night. he settled into bed and was about to fall asleep when his phone rang. not bothering to look at who was calling, tommy picked it up

“who the fuck is calling me at 3 in the morning i swear to god-” tommy whispered angrily. 

“tommy?” wilbur’s voice rang out “wait shit- this is probably a really bad time im sorry. but we have something important to tell you.”

tommy’s eyes widened. 

“we’ve decided that you can join the band”

-

the band and their label spent a few weeks discussing how they would go about this. they boys decided they would need a name change too, and ended up settling on the name ‘purple pandas’. however, a new member and a name change would practically transform the band completely, so they had to go about announcing this the right way.

they ended up settling on posting a youtube video titled ‘making some changes’. seeing the announcement for this sent fans into a frenzy, frantically tweeting about what it could be. many rumours spread fast and it even got into a few news articles. conspiracies started floating around about what changes could possibly be taking place.

-

i cant write this shit no more bye

[mackeydoodledoo]

Two Different Types of Musicians (Part 2)

Pairing: Jesy Nelson x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You're a musician who plays instruments, so you are a renowned Guitarist, Bassist and of many other instruments however, mainly guitar and bass. Jesy Nelson is most known for being in the British girl group; Little Mix. In Little Mixs' upcoming tour, their managers and producers want to pick the best of the best musicians to help them with this tour. One of them happens to be you....

Warnings: Past Trauma

A/N: This is in 1st person

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watch from backstage as Perrie begins talking about a song that’s titled "The Cure" and I begin hearing the crowd chant Jesy's name. Feeling empowered by said song and the crowd themselves, I grab a mic and begin chanting with the crowd. The girls look around for a hot minute before turning around to me. I begin walking out from side stage and the crowd cheers. Jesy's eyes begin shining against the light and she covers her mouth, crying tears of joy. She comes walking toward me se we meet halfway and she holds her arms out for me and we embrace.

"This goes out to people, like Jesy, like me," I start, "Or anyone who's experienced negative comments or in general life. And that it has effected oneself and no longer want to feel that pain."

I wrap my arm around Jesy's neck as we walk back to the girls. I start the beginning of the song, caught off guard by everyone, but Perrie, Jade and Leigh-Anne soon join in. Jesy cries as she hears the crowd and the four of us sing to her. And when it got to the bridge, I turn to Jesy and use my thumb to wipe a tear I notice fall down her cheek.

"You're going to be okay Jesy Nelson," I speak into the microphone, "Why? Because you have your girls, your fans who love and support you. And you have me. I'm here for you."

I lean in and place a kiss on Jesy's forehead, symbolizing that I deeply care about her and that I'll always be there for her. Our foreheads touch as Jesy continues to cry. I turn away from her but still holding onto her and raise my free arm into the air, symbolizing that no negative nancies (as Jesy stated in an earlier interview) will ever get the best of us and that we aren't alone. I realize the crowd follows suit of my action and the song ends. Perrie, Jade and Leigh-Anne do the same.

Once the final show concludes and I leave tomorrow.... I wish I didn't... I was having a great time with everyone.... With Jesy.

"Hey love," a voice calls before I head out the back entrance

"Hey you," I smile, "Shouldnt you be celebrating with your girls?"

"Well, I want to celebrate with you too," she says

"Id love to," I say, "I just want to drop my guitar back to the hotel first. Care to join me?"

She nods happily and I lock my case. I hold her hand as we make the exit and she begins signing fans' merch nd taking selfie with them. I watch them from a distance.

"Could I have your autograph?" Someone asks

I turn my head and smile, "For sure."

Once I sign their merch, I happily accept selfies and autographs. Once everyone has left, I hold Jesy's hand again and we hail a taxi to go to said restaurant that everyone else was in.

"Theres the two lovebirds," Jade giggles, holding up a glass of wine

"Are you drunk Jade?" I ask, laughing

"A little," she answers, "But I don't care im super happy."

Jesy and I sit nxt to each other as they all give cheers to another successful tour and cheers to their very first live band.

Once we all get back to the hotel, everyone goes into their respective rooms. I go through my phone and find new follows on Instagram and tagged photos from earlier. I like them but I don't follow them back, I don't really like having my "following" list very long. I suddenly hear a knock on my rooms door. I get up and walk over and open it.

"Hey Jesy," I yawn, "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah I can't, can I come in?" She asks

I step aside and allow her to come in. She seats herself on the bed and motions for me to sit next to her.

"What's up?" I ask

"Nothing really but its just-" she starts, "I remember our first interaction."

"Yeah," I chuckle, "I had to snake around the fans just to get to the other side. And when you kisse die on the cheek to satisfy questioning fans about us."

"Yeah," she sighs

"You remember watching me jump out from the stage and begin shredding the riff to the live bands opening set?" I ask

"Yeah," she giggles, "You practically fell but pulled it off so well. How do you do it?"

"Making things work when you fucked up," I explain, "I've learned this during indoor drumline. No matter what someone did. Even if it was you, just keep doing your part and not think about how you fucked up. It's how you decide to continue pulling it off. And I decided I was going to pull it off the best I could ever do."

Jesy stares at me, in awe and I do the same to her. We've only known each other for a couple of months but, holy shit I really like Jesy Nelson. Regardless of what negative people thought of her. Qhat I thought of her was what mattered to me. And she was the member who caught my eye when I began listening to them.

"Jesy I-"

Before I could go on, her phone rings.

"Oh that must be my boyfriend," she says, "oh i think he saw the photos of us.... I'm sorry I have to go."

I dont say anything to her but motion for her that she could leave. How could I be so dumb. I knew she had a boyfriend but going as far as holding her hand and she kissed my cheek?

As I walk through the airport to head back home, I reminisce on the memories I've made while on tour, the scenery that I never saw with my own eyes before and Jesy. Dont get me wrong, the girls have had left an imprint on my brain. But Jesy stood out to me the most. From our first interaction to our last. I write up before the crack of dawn and had a taxi drop me off. I didn't want to pain myself off saying goodbye to Jesy and the girls. Besides, Jesy never liked me back anyway. I was kind of upset, even if I was oblivious to people flirting with me and can't tell if they actually like me or if they're being nice, I really did feel something sparking between Jesy and I. But I was too scared to make a move, in hopes of not making anything awkward between us.

"Y/N!" A voice echoes as it becomes more clear and pulling me from my thoughts and music

I immediately recognize that voice. I turn around and see Jesy and the girls. But Jesy is walking over pretty fast.

"Jesy?" I call out, pausing my music and walking back over

As we hug again, Jesy's grip feels tightened as she bunches parts of my shirt into her hands.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, pulling myself away so I could look at her

"I forgot to give you this," she says

In one swift motion, she coils her hands around my neck and pulls my face close to hers, our lips meeting eachother. Once I overcame my initial shock, I coil my arms around her waist. Our foreheads touch as we pull away from one another.

"I was scared you didn't feel the same," she says

"Me too but about you," I reply back, "But are you sure you don't need a big strong man in your life?"

"Oh as our song says 'we don't need a man'," Jesy laughs, “Besides, being in a relationship with another musician is an adventure.”

"But-but I thought-" I stutter

"We were actually broken up before tour," Jesy says, "I'm sorry if I said Boyfriend I don't know why I said that last night I-"

I kiss Jesy again, hoping to make her shut up.

"I still have to go home Jess," I say, bitterly, "But hey, you have my number, I'll try to post about the gigs I'll do and more."

Jesy smiles, "Don't Worry Y/N. We'll be okay. Why? We have each other."

I chuckle, "Took the words right out of my mouth."

[berri-hopefulspouse]

"Soren, would you like to go first?" Ren never really expected themselves to be before an officiant- let alone for this reason...But, for some reason, they weren't afraid. Not exactly, not in the way they thought they would be. Nodding, they look back to Makoto- after keeping in yet another internal little squeak- and give a soft sigh and a little smile...They were ready for this.

"When we first met...and I mean, truly, deeply first met... I felt almost drawn to you. You said it yourself; we had always had some kind of connection, one that goes beyond time, space...probably even ourselves as we are currently. I always felt drawn to you then, to be close to you- but I could never exactly pinpoint what it was...yet, here we are now. Years later, and we're both still here. Both still...okay. I'll be the first one to say it- shit isn't perfect-" That gets a bit of a chuckle from themselves, "-But we're here...and we're alive. And we have the groundwork for a new beginning."

With a little shaky, nervous sigh, they bite their lower lip and manage to maintain eye contact with Makoto, "...I know I can't always be there when you need me- and I know I can't promise things will be perfect. But I can promise- can vow to you- that I'll be doing my best, each and everyday. Doing my best to improve, to get better, to learn new things, and to love you. Each, and everyday. Always, and forever. You mean the world to me, and to whatever secrets that we may share in the future..." Theres a smirk, and already Makoto knows what's coming, "I'll never tell a single soul. That's a promise, and my vow to you...I'll always, always cherish you."

Despite their light joke, there were tears in their eyes, barely held together through their strict will alone. Makoto wasn't much better- in fact he had to let go of their hand once or twice to wipe at his own eyes, before letting out a soft laugh of surprise himself. Still, after looking to the officiant himself- and getting a small nod- he proceeded to speak himself.

"Ren, first of all, how dare you make me cry like that-" That got a laugh out of the two of them, as well as the small gathering of people who had decided to attend that day, "-Still, still...There's so many things I could say...So many things I want to say- and it wouldn't truly be enough. You're so many things- you've done so much for me and for those around you...and yet, you never stop pursuing to help everyone around you. Everyone except yourself." Despite himself, he rests a hand gently on their cheek to reassure them, to calm them down a bit.

"I thought I knew who I was- someone who didn't quite stick out in the crowd, who was just...well, average at everything I did. And I thought I was okay with that... But uh..." He chuckled nervously, "Turns out that's just self esteem issues, I suppose. You never stopped believing in me- back then and all the way up until now. No matter what we faced, you had full faith in me that it'd be alright. I've always had a more optimistic attitude...and you always struggled to maintain one, but you still were always there for me. You say you weren't- but I assure you, even if you couldn't physically help in some way...I knew you were there for me, in spirit."

He shakes his head a bit, "I guess this is a roundabout way of saying...I'm proud of you. You've taught me so much, and grown so much more than from when we first met. You stand tall- well, really short in your case-" A little joke that earned him a gentle subtle kick with their shoe- causing him to laugh, "-You stand tall in the face of everything you've been through. Each day you keep moving forward, despite what lingers over you...And for that reason alone, I'm so proud of you. You always tell me that I saved you, that I've done so much for you...and while I can't always believe that's true, I can promise you that I'll be there whenever I can. You deserve to have someone who can protect you, and well- if it's me...I guess I really can't argue with that. I love you, Soren...with everything I am. You're my hope, and my proof that my Ultimate Luck truly isn't just a throwaway Ultimate...It's proof that I really am lucky to have you in my life. I swear, I'll never leave you- if you'll allow me to stay in your life...and that I'll always do my best to protect you, and cherish what we have. Always. My love for you is no secret."

He was trying to keep his voice from shaking, truly he was- but while his tone held certainty, his nervousness was equally as palpable in his tone. It was also not much of a secret that, simply put- he had completely did that on the fly, rather than plan it out. All the same, it looked like his words got through to them- the tears they were trying to keep back having started to fall from their cheeks. Leaning into the palm of his hand that still rested on their cheek, they nuzzled into it for comfort before pulling back to let his hand free- a smile on their face the whole while. At least he knew he didn't royally screw that up.

Still, thereafter came the rings- the one thing Makoto knew for certain. Ren may have been the one to do most of the planning- Mostly in part due to Makoto knowing full and well they were better at all of this than he could ever really hope to be- but he was the one who picked what the wedding bands would be. He didn't let Ren see what they were, wanting to get their reaction above anything else. He did his own first, slipping the ring carefully onto their ring finger- trying to quell the slightly anxious tremble of his own hands. He couldn't help being nervous.

The ring itself was simple in nature, but it's meanings would show themselves to those two alone. Theirs particularly had an outer layer of silver- steel, particularly- with moonstone in the middle. Carved into it, were a few small things. A moon and some stars, a reminder of the promise ring they got the both of them and a light comparison to his own band. A small little heart, that had a little ruby heart gemstone in the middle, as it was their birthstone. Lastly, on the underside of the ring, was engraved a few simple words; 'You are my luck, and my hope.'

His was similar of course, rather instead a shade of gold rather than silver with sun and cloud engravings on his own, and an sapphire heart rather than a ruby one. On the underside of his, was something that he heard them say to him once or twice- something that stuck with him, something he observed as they, in turn, slipped the band onto his ring finger.

'You're the reason I believe in my empathy.'

He watched Ren's reaction, though, as their expression shifted from the soft counterance they had previously to curiosity. Then, to thought- likely tuning out the officiant in favor of observing the ring- and finally acknowledgement, gaze snapping back up to meet Makoto's as the tears that had started to slow down only picked right back up. He could faintly notice them mouth something along the lines of 'You fucking dork,' as the officiant had continued to speak, their facade of pride crumbling down with their tears.

The two had been so busy reveling in their own little world for a few moments, that neither had even noticed that the officiant had been asking a question. Makoto, naturally, snapped out of it first in time for him to recognize his name being said.

"S-sorry, what was that?" And, promptly, his question snapped Ren back out of their own stupor, blushing a bit in embarassment. Makoto wished he wasn't in the same flustered state. Thankfully it got a bit of chuckles out of everyone else, and the officiant repeated himself.

"Do you, Makoto Naegi, take Soren to be your spouse?"

"Oh!" Well, if he wasn't red before hand, he definitely was now, "I...I do." ...But he still wouldn't hesitate with his answer, not for a moment.

It got a bit of a giggle out of Ren. At least they were amused at how flustered he was- but he knew full well it was a double edged sword.

"Soren, do you take Makoto to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Despite watching their cheeks turn a bright red- called it- and noticing their breath bitch a bit, their resolve didn't falter in the slightest.

"I do, now and forever."

Makoto couldn't help but smile at that, the nervous expression he adorned softening into adoration. He could be nervous, sure, but right then and there? With that smile they had on? He could feel nothing but pure, unadulterated love. He didn't notice when the officiant was asking if anyone had any objections- he didn't notice when no one had said anything, or that everyone was staring intently at the two, all he could really notice was them.

He only snapped out of it once more when he heard the Officiant speak once more.

"Then it is my great honor to pronounce you as husband and spouse!" The officiant look to the two with a little grin, "You may now kiss, if so desired."

About halfway through that sentence however, impatient as they were- Ren had quickly grabbed Makoto to yank the brunette into their shorter embrace. Yelping a bit in surprise- it instead dissolved into a little laugh as Ren mumbled a short and cheeky, 'Hey', to Makoto- only before pressing a shy kiss to him. He didn't hesitate to reciprocate, a hand gently combing past the flower crown veil to instead thread his fingers through their hair. Only then did they relax a bit, pressing back with a bit more decor for a few moments before drawing away a bit.

"Hello to you, too, Mx. Naegi," Makoto lightly teased, despite being out of breath. Watching their face equally flush a bright red, but light up with delight, he ignored the small uproar of his friends and family- instead laughing to himself before being ambushed in another kiss from his now-spouse. Despite it all, they made it to this point...New Years Eve- now New Years day...Now, officially, married. To the two, it was clear as day...

What a great way to start a new year.

[anonil88]

We Are Who We Are Ep 1 thoughts.

Heads up I've started writing these halfway into an episode so I'm immersed pretty into it and can make a well rounded reaction.

Interesting set up and premise. But I wonder how well this will be executed.

Very open free spirit household.

Those kids are pieces of shit for inviting him and then bullying him. He is a little weird but a sweetheart.

Also HE LIKES FASHION of course he does.

He's a bit of an alcoholic it seems or just likes alcohol which can teeter the line. Oh no he had to leave his lil boyfriend 😭.

Aw his other mom picked him up.

Ooo throw up shot nice smh.

This mustn't be the first time he's been drunk or gotten in trouble.

Sigh theres always a parent who saves the day no matter straight or gay.

Ahh military parents getting caught in their ego and ignoring their partners and kids.

Oooo "Americans can only be happy in America"...."This is America." Gotta love that US based are tiny bits of America but lineal spaces.

Wait is Fraser autistic? Or does he have any mental disorders? Maybe I'm only saying that because my family would have drop kicked me if I'd slapped my mom unless (when I was younger with less coping skills) was having an outburst of sorts.

Whattt dead? Whatttt? Oh he's still drunk.

Thank goodness he still had some clothes packrf like I would have had a full panic attack if my luggage was lost oversees with my designer clothes. (I'm assuming designer because his granddad has schmoney but he also gives me cates about his looks.)

Thats a nice jacket though, I think Commes Des Garcons is the brand or at least this is an inspired piece.

Oh okay Fraser I see you have some lil crushes forming. That soldier foine tho he's probably like 18. So eee idk bout that cause he's underage. (Edit: Fraser is 17 so if the soldier is 18 its not illegal but i'd rather Fraser not get community ass or dick. No more cmbyn Luca.)

The music selection is pretty great like Klaus Nomi ??

CUDI !!! Wait Cudi is their, Caitlin's dad :0

The military regulations are pretty clean. Her voice and commands could be a bit cleaner though. But maybe that's on purpose because shes gotta be nervous af now commanding a base.

Fuck you Colonel.

This base is pretty nice btw.

Oop okay subtle flirtatious behavior and noone can kick you out of the US military for being queer now...kind of. Oh he's just a giant flirt also again can we not do the minor and grown ass adult thing.

Loving Maggie and Fraser's relationship. But I feel like Sarah and Fraser's relationship is going to be whirlwind.

Oh thank the lord his clothes have come omg all designer/custom piece .

Just let them be them jeez everyone has to find themselves regardless of if you like or agree with it or not. Ahh Caitlin/Harper is living a double life hmm exploring their identity.

Lmfao Fraser said you're like me so lets talk, but I won't out you.

So overall thoughts the editing is a bit choppy like all over the place. Which is kind of disorienting and I don't know if a lot of people are going to enjoy that. Editing can really break shows even good ones. But characters wise I'll say Cait/Harper is a mystery and it took me a second but I got that they were staring at Fraser because Fraser seems very obviously nyc and probably more understanding. But they have no idea how to approach Fraser so they were just staring and tbh queer folk yes thats what we look like its sometimes obvious that we all stare at eachother with a certain wonder, confusion, and excitement even past the baby gay stage.

I feel like Fraser is a person who goes through the world in a daze like floating from one space to another. It makes him scatter brained and different, his interests vary but this is about him learning. I like him though just don't know much about him yet. Of course if I had to relate him to any character from another popular adult show that centers teens he's a more chaotic windmill version of Jules from Euphoria. Speaking of which I think this show might have a hard time carving out its own identity because of their shared platform. This premiere was like world building and very very vague so we only have touches on each character.

I will keep watching because I would like to see where this story is going to go. Also to see the acting chops of these new young actors. I am hoping that the next episode gives us the viewers more to hold onto rather than dental floss attached to ceiling post by nails. But, I just hope we get more clarity rather than just vague things we need to piece together in the future. Which btw works super well for movies but not always TV. So adapting that style to TV is gonna be interesting.

[Also funny how most actors first big role their characters name sounds like their name lol.]

Preview: so everyone just doing everyone but, this seems like it is going to be very sad and dark which is fine with me.

Sorry this is so long.

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited

[anakinthetrashking]

Ok under the cut are the notes/thoughts/reactions I kept while reading ROTT, before I got like halfway in and then couldn't make myself stop reading in order to make notes agdkfjwkajs + my general reaction overall afterwards! its missing so much bc there was SO MUCH IN THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!

I opened the book and immediately got goosebumps from excitement and general feels.

TO SOUNIS 😭🥺💞

look I've KNOWN. and I'm a very new fan. but it's in MY BOOK. MY BOOK!!!!

"my chronicle of the HIGH KING"!!!!!!! EUGENIDIES THE HIGH KING!!!! why am I so excited I know it's about him 🤣

ohhhhh we get to learn about the daughter of erondites!!

oooooh pharis is a tricky bastard like Gen. I love him already 😍

wow I really hate his family.

they really think this is gonna work, huh.

CHAPTER TWO!!!!

THERES MY BOIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah, that explains the three dots on the front of the book!

man people are mean...

I feel like Gen already knows there's someone more going on bc he's actually *looking* at Pheris, instead of ignoring him like others do. so his play isn't going to work as well on Gen lol.

I miss costis.

"too much banging in that box on wheels, too many days without real rest, too much shouting, too much of everything." that is the BIGGEST of moods, Pheris.

"Not everything that is easy for you is easy for the rest of us." MEGAN YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY 😭

I wonder if the unnamed person who visits him in the middle of the night is Gen? I hope it is... it seems like something he'd do 🥺

unnamed man with strange accent who only visits at nighttime? yeah that's definitely Gen

SEJANUSSSSSSS... KINDER THAN THE REST OF HIS HORRID FAMILY... ARGH

two eggs in the embroidery? 👀

oh to have matching embroidered outfits with your love 🥺

"...the king and his potentially even more terrifying wife." 🤣 yes that's them!!!

oh? an earring? 👀👀

GEN YOURE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE YOU.

also man have the attendants improved. convincing him a funeral would be worse 😂

well. some of them have improved. a few of them are terrible at this. uh, were you not there for Sejanus' take down?? you're still trying to mess with your king?? verrrryyy smart move there.

YEAH I BET NO ONE WANTS TO CROSS GENS SISTERS plz I want to know more about them

HEIRO GAVE HIM EARRINGS!!!! AHHHH

PFFFT-HAHAHAHAHHA THE SCROLL FROM THE MEDES

Irene gave hiM A HORSE GIRL. I love her.

SOPHOS PICKED THE HORSE!!! MY SWEET BOY!!!!!

the interactions between the four of them!!!! IM LIVING!!!!!

GEN YOU VIPER! YOURE SICK AND YOU TAKE A MOMENT JUST TO WINK AT PHERIS IM SCREAMING

gen confirmed as visitor!!

"I have conceived a great desire to see him live to adulthood" AWWWWW

sneaky Gen, he never wanted the food for himself in the first place...

HELEN!!!! I would smile back too... 🥺

"Go smack him" 🤣🤣🤣

also LOVE that Gen and Helen SIT THE SAME!!!

again I am reminded that I am. Sophos.

"you're secretly *delighted* Akretenesh got what was coming to him" *oooooooooohhhhhhhh* also, arent we all.

"The king is tired of the whole mede empire. That is what the king is tired of." YES.

"I don't want anyone pitching you out a window while I'm not looking." hmmm would that count as a fall? has Gen already claimed him, then?

"whether the red mare had born twin foals" two, again.... 👀

quedue... the gall of that dude.... like I was irritated for a hot second but Attolia is LEADING HIM IN CIRCLES BY THE NOSE

still irritated he called her Irene??? eXCUSE ME???

"the most important thing in a marriage is...respect" YASSSS, QUEEN!!

he just... HE JUST???? HOW DARE?!??!!!?? HOW DARE HE???

"Run", indeed.

"No one paints moments like these on walls." that's a GREAT line.

gen looks down like he's been stabbed in the heart and I can't decide if it's hilariously overdramatic or if i feel extremely hurt *for* him.

queueueue dude better be able to run in heels 😌

Attolia really said if I'm not allowed to kill him neither are you... ultimate power couple I swear...

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. the next morning they're both in their own beds like any other night. incredible.

*it was at this point when I stopped taking notes bc that would require me to stop reading*

So here are my extremely disjointed thoughts after finishing it!

First of all it's the same as the other books I think, in which I enjoy it on the first read through, but absolutely fall in love with it on later reads!

I enjoyed the interactions between Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos the most I think! They are absolutely iconic and lovely and I could NOT get enough. I missed Costis a lot and definitely squealed when he showed up!! And Kamet 🥺💞

Gen SINGING DITE'S SONG and then SCALING THE FREAKING WALL!!

Just. Every interaction. Gosh I love them.

All of the war bits made me extremely sad, which is both valid and important, bc too many books and things make war out to be this glorious thing and it's really not. Its sad.

GEN FOOLED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN. Every time I'm like, ah I know what you're doing... But I DON'T. I really don't.

TWINSSSAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was unfortunately spoiled for that, so I saw a lot of the hints of two. I really tried to avoid spoilers but with Tumblr it's hit and miss

Ok BLOWING UP THE MEDE CAMP

But BUT THE LIGHTNING!!! That was very 😳

So sad when the Minister of War died....

CHASING GEN THROUGH THE PALACE THO

you guys, I don't even know. My brain is still spinning with all the input! Will I ever make sense of it all? Who knows and who cares, bc it was a delightful read and I am looking forward to rereading it and falling in love with it even more 🥺💞🥺💞🥺💞

ITS A LOT. ITS A LOT, OK.

Funny side note! Wednesday is when i finished reading ROTT, and Thursday was one exact year since I picked up The Thief for the first time! And, within this past year, I read the first three books three times each, the middle last two books two times each, and the last book once!!! !! ! Just an odd pattern I noticed...

Edit: wow, not only did I have to get out my computer in order to put everything under a Read More, but I had to copypaste the entire post into word to m a k e  a  n e w p o s t bc Tumblr is begin glitchy! This is like 3days after I wrote it sdadfkjlasdjh