#what about having my back........... anyway i'm not bitter .
WIP Wednesday
Tagged by @thequeenofthewinter and @skyrim-forever
Tagging: @ladytanithia @ladytanithia @tiredela @dirty-bosmer and anyone else, I'm tired and can't really think.
So, I'm back from my vacation in Denmark with renewed loathing for my work ( @did3lphis knows what I'm talking about). I'm so awfully tired, could do nothing but sleep and can't find any motivation to write on my chapter or anything else. Also, vibes are off.
Totally unrelated: Does anyone have recommendations for music to write an assassination scene (like witnessing one) to?
Anyway, I did fabricate something in Denmark and have a longer part (because we need context) for you to read. Little info on that: Morotar has arrived at an Inn in Shore's Stone (that I totally made up) and is glad to get a bed after over a week of camping. The inkeeper is not that glad to have a Thalmor in his tavern. Anyway, great chance for Morotar to show that he is, in fact, an ass:
This taproom too was deserted, not a sign of guest or even the innkeeper. A bar stood on the gable end of the dwelling, so he crossed the room, spying into the darkness and strained his ears for any possible sounds. Nothing, only a child’s doll, lay in a corner. Reaching the counter, he peeked around the corner. Light filtered through the gap in an ajar door, a sign of life.
“Hello?” he spoke into the silence, hearing nothing in return.
His hands rested on the countertop, the fingers of his right drumming with impatience. Unconsciously, he lowered his eyebrows and wrinkled his mouth. He wanted nothing more than a warm bed and having to wait now was driving him mad.
“Someone there?” His voice echoed in the emptiness of the taproom.
A chair scratched over the floorboards; steps sounded. The light strip between door and frame disappeared for a brief moment, then the door swung open. A man stepped out, his hair thinning and his nose the form of a misshaped potato. As his view found his new customer, he stopped and eyed the Altmer before him, eyes narrowed in animosity.
“We don’t serve vermin like you here,” he uttered hoarse, mucus stuck in his throat.
Morotar closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath. Was he going to have to have the same discussion in the east of Skyrim every time he wanted to rent a room? Long ago he had given up trying to reason with the tavern owners and explain his situation to them. Only clear words were of any use with those kinds of people.
Instead of reacting to the man’s offence, he pulled up a barstool and sat down. From under his hood, he glanced at the man. It was difficult to put a finger on, but he may be Imperial of origin. Too short for a Nord, the tone of his skin a touch to much of an olive undertone.
“I’d like an ale, if you don’t mind,” he said, his voice bordering on monotony but still housing a friendly undertone.
“Piss of to Riften and see if the thieves will give you any,” the man spat, still standing in the frame of the door.
“Careful,” he warned him, turning his head to stare directly in his eyes. “How’s the wife? The girl?”
All colour left the man’s face and he became as pale as a ghost, staring aghast at the Altmer. It had been easy to make that guess; the doll was a clear indication. But that, the man did not know, and he now thought Morotar knew things about him. That the Thalmor knew about him and his family.
“Good,” he breathed and finally got going.
He rummaged under the bar, pulled out a bottle of ale and placed it in front of Morotar. As he did so, he kept his distance, his hand trembling.
“My, thank you!” He flicked the cork out of the bottle and took a sip. Bitterness and the flavour of hops caressed his palate and he looked at the bottle with satisfaction.
“Anything to add?” he continued, piercing the Imperial with his glare.
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About prev reblogs: I have never seen TME used to complain about & demarcate cis men's behaviours.
Despite the term ostensibly lumping together *almost any gender configuration that isn't binarily trans woman*, the only times it's used recently is to complain about (trans) ppl that get lumped in with cis women (as intersex ppl trans or otherwise are *never* factored into this dichotomy anyways), including cis women themselves.
I have never once seen it used to delineate trans women from cis men, even as it gets used to delineate cis women's experiences from trans women's experiences. I have only seen /haphazard/ acknowledgement of non-binary experiences included in TMA, but only really as an afterthought or when it's framed as the precursor to 'fully realizing trans womanhood'. I've only seen intersex folks brought up if they elect to use the terms TME/TMA for themselves, with bizarro interrogations into 'how' they were raised/had their genitals 'corrected' only once they individually disagreed with the terminology or had a confounding opinion in a public discussion.
It is regularly used to delineate trans men from trans women; but its users almost uniformly deride any attempt by trans men to coin a term to describe their own unique combinatory transphobia that isn't TME; again despite TME literally just supposing to mean 'transmisogyny-exempt'.... so why would it be used to discuss trans men's *unique* experiences with hatred directed at the fact that they either "are/aren't (real) men" by anyone who wants them to suffer?
It's been *changed* into hastily recycled AGAB terminology bc of wider recognition of the flaws with /that/ but without the driving flaws of that **tool for analysis** ever being fully addressed; and therefore has gotten subsumed into the 'new euphemism' for the Innie vs Outie false dichotomy as its usage became more widespread.
I think it still is a useful discussion tool ONLY when it's viewed *as a tool* and not some inherent marker of identity. It is DEFINITELY just bigotry when used as a NOUN that has negative behaviours ascribed to it, esp in the context of complaining about trans men** as a whole homogenized group, instead of highlighting individual behaviours/belief systems for the harm they contribute to against TMA trans/nb ppl.
Young queers really need to stop swallowing the tradcath radfem juice of "Women Pure + Good & Men Bad + Evil" [**that tumblr feminism has always had a problem with] and acting like you aren't being a transphobic shitheel by adding the word Trans in front of it-- & This is ESPECIALLY a problem when non-trans "Allies" do this, as it sets up trans women for failure whenever they make a mistake/can be reframed as 'being a cause-traitor' since women are punished more harshly for any percieved failure of Righteousness, AND allows them further to enact their unbridled transphobia onto trans men (& enbys/genderqweirdos) and pass it off as 'being an ally to trans women'..... despite them just being extremely transphobic (+ misogynistic + homphobic + intersexist) & then hiding behind """"TMAs"""" as a negative PR meatshield.
TL;DR if you are using TME to mean (nc)AFAB in vent posts, just have the guts to fucking use that as the word & see how it reads then.
(**since transmasc & transfem do not imply either a 'starting' or 'finalized' gender state; they are personal adjectives in and of themselves. Please do not warp them into new innie vs outie binary divides).
[**see related: the raw ass treatment of 'AMAB enbys' on here and in similar online/irl "feminist" environments. (Which was one of the driving factors behind the original TMA/TME coinage & is where I still find useful inter-trans discussions utilizing it as a term; importantly I don't think the term should stop being used altogether!!)]
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That’s the word, Chibi, hang on: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/497451854108688406/950398984340525096/IMG_2978.jpg — https/i.redd.it/tqjwl27s7uf51.jpg
(I imagine these are both from the same person so I hope it's OK to gather them in one 🙈)
No worries, I definitely get the supportive vibe, thank you for that TwT I do appreciate it!
In that case I'll see how much time and energy I have today, p'much TwT I do love the idea and the timing, but I also have personal things I wanna tend to, also it seems I've been tired these days and I need rest for some reasons, and also also, this isn't on you at all really, it's just human nature stuff, but I tend to be wary of drawing stuff that doesn't come from my brain and is just requested of me, because I fear that might just be an open door to anyone just asking me whatever and being the doormat that I am, I might get sucked in OR at the very least fall into a spiral of guilt... I've been down that rabbit hole several times before so I try to be careful about it TwT
Either way I hope that's understandable, I'll see what I'm up to but can't promise anything still, sorry about that TwT And thanks for the encouragement either way!
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listening to my february-june 2022 playlist which led to ⬇️
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really want to read more and more literature (esp classics!) aghhhh yesterday iirc i was on a walk with my mom and twin and an old guy (not a weirdo dw) who was jogging or walking too actually asked what book i was carrying and it's a little funny bcs uhm he just went "oh a classic!" you see. i was carrying dante's inferno. which i still haven't properly started to read but anyways he might... if my mom is right... be the local parish guy so oopsies !! LMAO anyways yeah really interested in lovecraft for a while now! horror scares me and gives me paranoia but i also enjoy the writing of it? and i remember once that something/someone said my writing is kinda similar to his. hm.
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my family . i love them . but good god .
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I guess I have to suck it up and admit that, yeah, despite myself, against my own wishes, I suppose I do love that damn Gojo Satoru guy after all
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Having a bit of a Magazine Renaissance in my search for Animal-Magazines, and I couldn't be happier....... 👀
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i think one of the reasons glass onion is so fun is that it just... loves the audience back.
so many popular movies and shows these days thrive on a sort of bitter engagement with their fans - where the fans are dismissed as being stupid, annoying, and needlessly angry. we are constantly positioned as being less intelligent as the writers.
so much of "spoiler-free" movie-making relies on writers getting away with one twist in their work, regardless of if that twist was earned. the work doesn't actually have any rewatch value or interesting writing - because they think "good writing" is about "pulling one over" on the audience. they don't focus on making interesting characters or storylines or good endings - they focus on fooling you. glass onion, meanwhile, has faith that the audience has figured the ending out, and that we'll watch anyway, because we love the characters.
so many adaptions of older works... kind of seem to hate the original work. they're done without passion. they're done almost as if checking off a box. so many of them openly mock the audience for enjoying the original, almost directly telling us that we are fools for ever having loved something.
but glass onion. loves the audience. it knows that many of the people watching are mystery-lovers. it is an homage that feels love towards the original works it references. it knows we also love those works; and instead of trying to disparage those works, it allows us to celebrate them.
one of my favorite things about it - and maybe why i found it so satisfying - is that this movie isn't trying to tell you it's the smartest, bestest, most-clever detective story. instead, it asks itself what is satisfying and exciting for the audience? and actually gives us that payoff. it's bright, colorful, and fucking fun.
just... more of this please. i'm very bored of nihilism and grittiness and "shock value" writing. put the love back in. let us love unironically. have your work say i love you too. thank you for sharing this story.
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I mean, lets say I manage to get the house cleaned up, what do I get?
I get a clean house
And like... obviously that's something, that's enough in and of itself, but man... sometimes I just... I want something, anything
All that work on cleaning out the trailer and all I got was to get rid of the trailer, which did a lot for me but at the same time... I'd really hoped maybe I'd be able to use some of the money from selling it to take a little trip (it was worthless, there was no money), or that I could some how leverage that in to a chance to have some company... no
It benefited me, there's no way I'd even want to pretend that my life isn't much better without that trailer (I'll still have nightmares where I've got to go clean and move a bunch of stuff out of it)
In many ways though, talking about feeling wise, what it felt like was that getting rid of the trailer earned me the right... to try and clean out the rooms I'd piled stuff from the trailer in
Doing that... got me a room that... like it's way nicer having it clean, but it's just an empty room
Getting all the non specialized rooms cleaned out... it's obviously good but like... what's it done for me other than made it so all I have left is to go through stuff which is so hard fro me
I don't want to sound ungrateful for having a cleaner house... in part if I'm blunt and honest, because I fear somehow being punished for it, but also because it is nicer to go through the rooms now they're cleaner
But like... lets say I succeed, which isn't something I do, but lets say I did. Lets say I get the house totally fixed up and a good income and I can work on my garden and teach a bit out of my basement... how will it really be any different from now, and how is now really that different from when I first got my house
I'm still utterly alone, except for being stuck taking care of my mom who... I really wanted to get away from her so bad, and totally failed. I don't know... fill in the blank for me, and not just with some magical "it'll be better"
What will have changed?
Not saying I won't continue to flail towards that incompetently like I have been at my pathetically slow rate, but I'm just saying... what shred of evidence is there that doing any of that will change anything?
Virtue is it's own reward, as in... it literally is a reward in and of itself. The house being clean is the reason to clean the house but... I no longer am able to believe that anything but isolation awaits me... what evidence is there to counter this view
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all u need is a platform x | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x fem love island contestant!reader
SUMMARY: y/n makes a one-off comment about lando norris being her type in a confessional, and the internet rolls with it all the way to lando norris' twitch stream.
A/N: just bc i love me some love island 😌
Love Island UK
Twittter
Twitch
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yourusername
liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, yourfriend and 105,830 others
yourusername alright guys, public voting is open! go, go, go!! make sure to vote for the person you want off your screens, so don't vote for y/n!!! tell your friends, family, everyone! we don't wanna see our girl go home anytime soon!! thanks u guys 🥰🥰
#LoveIsland
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username she's one of my favourite islanders🫶 stunning girl
landonorris so if we vote for her she comes OUT you say?👀
yourusername don't you dare🤣
username LMAOO LANDO U BETTER NOT SABOTAGE💀💀
username ugh she's so annoying she needs to stfu🙄 hope she goes home on friday
username he's in the likes👀 ohhh the show's just getting started I see🍿
username I've voted babes! (not y/n of course)
(liked by author)
username I'm sry but I'm gonna have to vote for my girl y/n BUT HEAR ME OUT it's bc there's a better man by the name of lando out here for her I think 😃
username sooo valid (I'm doing the same lmao)
landonorris 😊
yourusername uhm- you guys😭😭
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Love Island UK
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loveisland
liked by yourbestfriend, _jackfowler_, landonorris and 176,488 others
loveisland The public has voted, and that means goodbye to this firecracker! 🧨👋 By the looks of it, it seems Y/N might not need to do much searching for fish in the sea though... 👀
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username ok lando pack it up, jack fowler is in the likes😩
username ugh jack is so fine🫦
username LMAO NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BBY LANDO NOW😭
landonorris 🐠
username lmaooo ENOUGH
username help he's so real😭
username finally the bitch is gone
username uhm... chile anyways so
username ppl need to stop putting her up there with maura, amber and the lot cause she's absolutely nowhere close bffr. I rlly don't see the hype🙄
username she's literally the first to break 1 million followers lmao the hype is very much alive even if u don't wanna see it😌
username yeah and how many of those are lando fans hm? exactly
username oooh u sound bitter babe xx
username lando and y/n better freaking date soon tho cause if I find out this was all in vain I'm literally gonna flip😭
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tagged: landonorris, yourusername
thesun Popular ex-Love Island contestant, Y/N L/N, has arrived in the UK to a warm welcome at Heathrow Airport, where she was greeted by family, friends, and a horde of fans.
Speculation about a potential romance between her and the famous F1 driver, Lando Norris, has been rife on the internet for the past few weeks. Many believe this could be the reason for her sudden dumping from the island, as fans allegedly orchestrated her exit in hopes of pairing the two together.
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username lando can do so much better than some trashy reality tv star 😑
username i got a pic with her!! she was such a sweetheart❤️
username im so excitedddd omg
username let's see what happens now then...😁
username 👀👀
username omg why are ppl still talking about her smh
username i voted for her so it better pay off🙏 i'm looking at u lando
username me and you both 🤝
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption 1: i'm backkk ] [ caption 2: cake bc there's 1.5 million of u guys here😭 AHHH TYSM 🫶🫶 ]
[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]
yourusername
liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, _jackfowler_ and 220,748 others
yourusername back in essex and straight to catching up with my lovelies xxx
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username lando norris dating announcement when 😃
username lmaooo her bed in the villa ain't even cold yet😭😭
username real! he should've picked her up from the airport smh chivalry is so dead😞
username telling you all about lando i hope
username and the fact that it's all lando's fault that you were voted off 😋
username LOL DON'T PIN THIS ON HIM NOW
landonorris welcome back y/n!
username loool what happened to ur free shoulders 🤣🤣
username JACK FOWLER STAY TF BACK 🤺🤺🤺 we're team lando + y/n here!!!
username IKTR😌
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: don't need ur shoulders, just ur arms and car 😌 ]
[ tagged: landonorris ]
f1gossipofficial
liked by username, username, username and 14,026 others
f1gossipofficial Lando Norris has been spotted once again in the company of ex-Love Island contestant Y/N L/N, marking the fourth time in the past month the pair has been seen together in London. This time, fans observed them enjoying dinner together, appearing particularly close as they laughed and had their arms around each other.
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username real ones know y/n from the first ep of love island😌🫶
username I've been summoned🫡
username love island is bottom of the barrel trash smh anyone who enters that show is a dumbass
username lol okay.... anyway they look cute together🥰
username ahh u guys remember when y/n was in the villa and we'd all wait for lando's tweets during love island🥹 those were the times
username i wanted them together but now it's like when you watch a film in the cinema and then reach its end like what now?🧍♀️
username fanpage babe. u make a fan page trust me x
username ew keep her away from lando🤢
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yourusername
liked by ellathomas_, landonorris, whitbrownxs and 587,442 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername thank u love island 🤭
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username AHHH FINALLY IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS🤩
username what do u wanna bet she only has 2 gcses🙄
username well that's a whole lot better than lando's 0 🤣
username @/yourusername i need ur game card RIGHT NOW cause i want mason mount 😩
yourusername all u need is a platform x
username brb gonna apply for love island now🏃♀️💨
landonorris I think you missed a few spots baby
yourusername lol xxx
username oh he's whipped lmaooo
username WHO VOTED Y/N OUT?? WE FUCKING DID ITTTT
username present🫡
username the way we had a vision and look at us now😌 we love to see it
username cheers to us masterminds 🍻
whitbrownxs love you guys ❤️
yourusername ly bby xxx
1:06 ──ㅇ────────── 4:11
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Professor Trein: I've never seen your classmates- I mean, your students this behave.
MC: They just value their lives, professor.
Cerberus: Grrr...
MC: Oh. Is there anyone trying to cheat?
Random student: !!! *immediately rips off his cheat sheet*
MC and Professor Trein: ...
Professor Trein: Can I borrow Cerberus for my history class later?
MC: Sure thing, professor. But how about, Lucius?
Cerberus: Grrr...
MC: Aww~ Look at you, Cerberus! You're such a good boy! Be good to Professor Trein and his cat, hm? I'll play with you together with Lucifer after you finish your task. *pets him*
Cerberus: *wags his tail*
The students: *thinking* Curse Crowley...
Barbatos: Great work, MC. Here's your Hell Coffee.
MC: Thanks. *takes a sip* Ah.
MC: So bitter.
Barbatos: *chuckles* It's more bitter than before, isn't it?
MC: *smiles* Yes. *then their face saddens*
Barbatos: Is there something wrong?
MC: I just missed Luke and Simeon.
Barbatos: Hm. Then why not invite them here?
MC: ...
Barbatos: Don't tell me you have forgotten that you possess the power of the Ring of Light?
MC: ...
MC: *facepalm* Yes.
Barbatos: *chuckles* I figured. Now, don't sulk and enjoy your recess.
MC: Thank you, Barb.
MC: Vil... What are you doing here?
Vil: I've heard from your demon butler that you are turning yourself into an angel to gain access to this Celestial Realm.
MC: Yes?
Vil: I must see what you will look like, potato.
MC: ...
MC: Okay. I think it'll be fine if you're the only spectator- Lilia, what are you doing here too?
Lilia: Same reason. *while holding a camera*
MC: ...
MC: Whatever.
Solomon: *chuckles* You're famous even here, huh?
MC: More like infamous, but yeah. Anyway, Sol? Mind lending me a hand?
Solomon: No problem. *uses magic to change them*
Vil and Lilia: *in awe; also Lilia not forgetting to snap pictures*
MC: Okay! I'm ready to get my baby!
Solomon: And your other husbando.
MC: Right. *breathes in*
MC: I am the magician, MC…Ring of Light! Heed my words! Open the way forward and create a path where there was none!
MC: Unlock the Gates of the Celestial Realm!
Vil: Ugh... Everything is bright! I can't see a thing!
Lilia: Good thing I have my sunglasses.
Vil: *frowns*
*The light disappears after a few seconds and MC as well*
Solomon: Yup. I'm sure they are in the Celestial Realm right now.
MC: ...
Simeon: ...
MC: *ended up straddling him*
Simeon and MC: *both blushes in embarrassment*
MC: I am sorry!
Simeon: *chuckles* I thought for a second that I had committed a sin.
MC: Come on now. You're calling me a sin?
Simeon: *chuckles again* No. I mean, I have been thinking of you for a while.
MC: *smiles* Sorry for being gone. I got into some sort of... unexplainable event.
Simeon: Oh?
MC: By the way, is Luke here? I'm here to invite you and him to this new world I'm living in.
Simeon: Is it similar to Devildom?
MC: No. It's a bit similar to the human world, except with magicians.
Simeon: Oh. *smiles* We would love to be there.
MC: Great!
*Back to Twisted Wonderland*
Diavolo: Simeon! Luke! I'm so glad to see you again!
Simeon: *chuckles* We're glad to see you too, Diavolo.
Luke: Yeah!
Lucifer: I'm surprised you easily got permission, MC.
MC: What permission?
Lucifer: ...
Simeon: MC snatched Luke in front of Michael. *laughs*
Luke: *giggles* It was fun when the other angels started to chase us!
Lucifer: ...
Lucifer: MC, why you-
MC: It's my parental rights, Lucifer.
Lucifer: ...
Malleus: That is your son, child of man?
MC: Yes! Isn't he adorable?
Luke: *staring at Malleus and wondering if he's a demon*
Malleus: How old is he?
MC: Um. He's ten. Yes. He's ten years old.
Luke: *pouts* MC! I'm over a thousand years old!
Malleus: ...
Malleus: What? You are older than me? *squints his eyes*
MC: Mal, don't. *knows that he's judging his height*
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there's a part of canto vi I've been thinking about since it came out, and it doesn't actually have anything to do with Heathcliff.
this
She is bitter as fuck and as time goes on she's getting worse at keeping it down. Sinclair's the one who started it, by talking about how sad it is that they'd never get to see color, and Rodya starts to get a little irritated over it (yeah, sure, pity the Backstreets folk and their poor miserable little lives, privileged nest boy), but she's obviously trying not to straight up call Sinclair a privileged nest boy because she doesn't want to. But then Yi Sang and Ishmael join in on talking about how sad this place is with no color and she just can't keep her opinion down.
But that makes the atmosphere tense, and she hates a tense atmosphere, so she changes the subject and her tone, not giving a damn about how obvious it is. also, haha, ice and cold references.
And actually, this doesn't really have much evidence to support it, but I wonder if she holds a higher level of resentment for Sinclair in particular.
Canto II had some discussion about how Rodya wishes she was special (and while I think what Sonya said about her killing the tax collector just to feel special is absolute bullshit, I do also think there is some truth to her wanting to feel special), and introduced us to the concept of The Sign in a way that was vague and more like foreshadowing than actually introducing it. Then Canto III was all about The Sign, and how special Sinclair is, and since then we've had people talking about signs and stars and a new birth of the world and it's all stuff Rodya doesn't get to be part of.
I don't think she wants to hold resentment for Sinclair, and she especially never wants him to know, but going back after all this time and rereading this one interaction with him in Canto II felt pretty jarring.
the more important part of this is the way it feels like she's making a joke at Heathcliff's expense, for being poor, like even though she's also from the Backstreets she feels she's "above" it.
She absolutely does not feel this way.
On my way to find the first passage, I reread some other interesting stuff:
Once again, there's the harsh juxtaposition between casual, fun-loving Rodya, and tired, poor man's advocate Rodya. Almost everyone on the team speaks through the lens of a Nest dweller (I have to wonder if learning that Heathcliff was apparently raised in a mansion made her even more bitter), and the way she's so short with her mention of the Sweepers makes me think she's thinking about how painfully obvious it would have been to any other Backstreets dweller. And then, right after, dropping back into her casual voice, and Sinclair revealing that Rodya used the fucked up Backstreets creature to tease him...
Other obvious moments of Rodya being bitter as hell about rich people include this part of S.E.A.
and this part of her observation logs on Spiral of Contempt (actually, nearly everything in that log that isn't about the physical abnormality has to do with how much she hates how rich people look down upon the poor)
Hong Lu's canto comes after Don's, and then after his is Ryōshū's, who, based on her source material, probably served one of the most awful, contemptuous rich people the sinners have access to, and I really hope at some point here Rodya gets to snap in a big way
...hey so I wrote this entire post at 1 in the morning and then saved it to drafts because I didn't want to post something at 1 in the morning. the Timekilling Time trailer came out about two hours later, featuring both Rodya... and the long-awaited return of the Yurodiviye. so now it's past 3 in the morning for me but I'm posting it now anyway because ohohoho seeing the Yurodiviye again has given me SO much energy
I have a feeling all this is going to be very relevant extremely soon
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i'm lucky my obsession with remembering everything peaked from late 2013 - early 2016, bc the phone i had during that time hasn't been able to turn on for years and i'm still in denial about it
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