#what aspects of that excite her? what does she already know? what is she most interested to find out?

[blujayonthewing]

I feel like I need to take some time to ruminate on what Juniper is fundamentally like as a person and how to roleplay her aside from Anxiety and Gay; not that those aren't important but I feel like she's been so stressed out for so long that it's flattening her out a little bit

[nicksolemnlyswears]

WAYS TO DESTRESS

summary: after a long day, all coriolanus wants to do is blow some steam off. nothing will stop him from getting what he wants…not even your sleepy state

pairing: young! coriolanus snow x capitol! reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: 18+, smut, cursing, somnophilia, dub non-con, p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, squirting, pussy spanking, belly bulge (?), LISTEN I KNOW ITS UNLIKELY BUT LET ME BE UNHINGED, a bit rough nothing too crazy, get your holy water though, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it please)

a/n: this came to me the moment i opened my eyes this morning. pure filth. i shouldn't be proud but i am. goes to show how much coriolanus is plaguing my thoughts day and night. my new little hyperfixation. a new villain to add to my collection <3

PT. 2

requests open ✨

All Coriolanus feels is anger. It's been pumping through his veins throughout most of the day, almost causing him to lose his composure at all the wrong places. He can never afford to fuck up. He already did it once, and second chances are nonexistent in the Capitol.

He owes a lot to Dr. Gaul. After all, she saw the value in Coriolanus. She saw right through him and his faux kindness and unearthed his true wickedness. He simply needed a nudge in the right direction.

While working for with her is an honor, it is hardly easy. Like all aspects of his life, he's had to adapt to how she runs her lab. Coriolanus is hardly a follower; he's a leader, but as long as he remains under the tutelage of Dr. Gaul, he will have to follow her orders. Which means he has to talk when spoken to and perform how she expects him to.

There are days when it all becomes too much. His pride rises to the surface, forcing him to stifle it as best as he can before he does something he regrets.

He has to think of the scrutinizing gaze of his peers waiting for him to fail. As much as they pretend to be his friend, they want him to make a mistake so they can rise to the occasion. He won't allow that.

His apartment is silent when he steps in. The lavish decor is obscured by the lack of illumination. It's to be expected, seeing it's well past midnight.

Leaving his coat by the door, Coriolanus walks towards the bedroom. He needs to destress now, or he'll carry all his anger and frustration on his shoulders for the rest of the week. He can't have that. He can't lose control and look bad in front of Dr. Gaul and the others.

In the master bedroom, he finds you lying on the soft mattress, tangled in the silky bedsheets. He watches your chest rise and fall with gentle breaths, your pouty lips slightly ajar. It's a shame he's going to disturb your sleep, but he needs to let off some steam. That's one of the numerous reasons he has his pretty little girlfriend.

Coriolanus unbuttons the red waistcoat and removes his shoes, leaving them in the armchair. As he approaches your side of the bed, he notices the bright orange bottle on the nightstand and your book thrown haphazardly on the floor.

It's rare for you to take sleep aid medication because you hate how they knock you out. You only take them when you've had a particularly rough day. It seems Coriolanus is not alone in this. Today has been bad for both you and him.

Still, his plan remains the same. Coriolanus leans over you, kissing your forehead gingerly before his lips continue to trail down to kiss your cheek and lips. You don't stir with the soft touches.

Coriolanus darkly chuckles. It's not often he gets to do this. He'll take it as a treat for his patience throughout the day. He'd say the universe is working in his favor if he believed in such silly things.

Having you so pliable and willing in his hands excites him to no end. Lying on the bed, he digs his head on your shoulder, leaving marks for you to find in the morning. It spurs him on to hear little gasps falling from your lips.

"Beautiful and all mine," he mutters into the silent room as he lowers down the thin straps of your night dress to reveal your chest.

Coriolanus takes his time with your body. Even while asleep, it responds to his touch. He sucks and squeezes on your breasts harshly, biting down on the stiff peaks of your nipples.

He's not as gentle this time around compared to other times in the past. Then, you were simply asleep; now, you're completely doped out. He will miss your whines and the way you berate him.

Coriolanus continues down your body until he settles between your legs. "Fuck, darling," he audible groans when he lifts up your nighty to find a patch on your panties. Who would've thought you'd be as responsive to him while asleep.

He gives into his urges as he presses his nose against your center, smelling your arousal and licking up the wet fabric with his tongue. He only parts for a moment as he roughly slides the thin fabric off.

With you like this, there is no reason to tease. He doesn't have to kiss your thighs or hold himself back. Coriolanus can truly delve into what he wants without a spectacle.

It's why he buries his tongue into your wet cunt as soon as he has the chance. He holds your limp thighs on his shoulders as he presses himself against you, his blue eyes closing in ecstasy at the taste.

Soft noises- moans- come from above him as you slightly stir in your drug-induced sleep. While Coriolanus suck on your pearl of nerves, he wonders what you're dreaming about and if he's the protagonist as well.

His hips roll onto the mattress underneath, soothing the ache on his cock. He could go straight to fucking you but wants this to last. He needs to keep his mind busy, and eating you out is the answer.

Unconsciously, you grind your cunt on his tongue, chasing your release. Coriolanus smiles at this and rewards you with fucking you with his tongue. He's determined to make you cum all over it.

"Oh," he hears you whine when his nose rubs on your sensitive clit. He knows you're close. He feels it in the way your thighs are suddenly clenching around him.

There is no doubt in his mind you're still asleep. If you were awake, you'd be gripping his hair like a vice and calling his name for everyone to hear. You'd be begging him to fuck you silly.

Coriolanus laps up your juices like a starving man when you cum. Despite living in poverty, he never felt the need to act in such a way until he tasted you for the first time. He treats his sweet little girlfriend's cunt like a delicacy.

He stops himself before he almost makes you cum again as he slurps and sucks on your cunt. From up close, he can see the way your clit twitches under the pleasure. He leaves a bruise that will turn purple by morning on the inside of your thigh. It'll be a telltale sign he was there, devouring you while you soundly slept. A reminder you're his to use whenever he pleases.

Taking the rest of his clothes off, Coriolanus returns to your sleeping body. He pumps his cock in his fist as he looks at all the bruises and marks he left behind, and you'll have to hide because you can't have him seem like a pervert in front of his classmates.

Kneeling on the bed, he wraps your legs around his hips. He teases your wet cunt with the fat head of his cock, nudging over your clit repeatedly. He continues this until his cock is slick with your juices. As an extra, he spits down on your cunt, spreading his saliva over you. Not because you need lubrication but because he likes the sight of him on you in every which way.

No matter how many times Coriolanus has fucked you throughout your two years of being together, he's always had trouble pushing his cock in. He has to take a deep breath when he bottoms out as your cunt tries to choke him out. It's one of his favorite things about you, a constant reminder of the day he took your innocence.

It's only when he begins rocking his hips into you that you give any indication of waking up.

"What?" You whine as panic settles into you. Your brain isn't working properly. You're hazy and confused. Not knowing where you are, you get scared, and your heart races.

Coriolanus holds your hands as you begin struggling. As he leans down to talk to you, he pins you down, leaving you impaled with his cock. He immensely enjoys the struggle but can't have you screaming out in panic.

"It's just me, darling," he coo's in your ear, nuzzling his nose against your face. It works as your heart begins settling down.

"Coryo?" You sniff with tears in your eyes as your panic is quickly swept away. You try to speak, but the pills leave your tongue heavy and your brain foggy.

"Yes, your Coryo," he responds, kissing your cheek sweetly.

You've stopped struggling and spread your legs once again, just how he likes it. He even feels you clenching down purposefully around Coriolanus' cock. You're no saint; you enjoy making it hard for him even in your drugged-out state.

"Relax, darling. Go back to sleep," he hushes you, softly rocking into you.

Your eyes are already closed as he utters the words. You have no choice in the matter. Granted, now you sleep calmer, knowing it's Coryo touching you and making you feel food.

Coriolanus calls your name once, twice, and there is no response. You're back with the sandman, peacefully asleep. He takes it as a sign to keep fucking you.

Kneeling back on the bed, Coriolanus brings up your thighs to touch your chest. Your pretty cunt is on full display, showcasing the hues of pink and glistening fluids that shine under the lowlights of the bedroom.

Coriolanus licks the pads on his fingers before they smack down on your center. The only way it'll look even better is if it had that familiar twinge of red. He aims for the center, straight at your pearl, and smacks his hand down several times.

It manages to wake you again, eyes hooded with sleep, staring at him and complaints falling from your lips. Each time the 'smack' reverberates and you flinch, he soothes the sting, spreading the clear strings of arousal that drip from your hole.

Only when your cunt is flushed red and your clit is puffed out of its fleshy covering, does he pull you down on his cock. He fucks in and out of you mercilessly, addicted to the way your tight walls hug his cock even as he pulls out.

He glances towards your face and notes you're back to sleep. If it were up to him, you'd take the pills more often just so he could find you waiting for him asleep, naked on the bed. A real-life doll of his own.

The sound of skin slapping and his desperate moans and grunts fill the room, along with some of your smaller ones. He doesn't tend to be so vocal; he prefers listening to you beg for him, but with no one to hear him, he lets it all out.

Coriolanus places a hand on your lower tummy, pressing down to feel himself through your walls. It's an erotic thing to feel his cock slipping in and out, reaching the deepest parts of you.

He slows the pace of his thrusting, opting to go harder and deeper, just where he can make out the bump on your pelvis of his cock head.

The pressure Coryo is causing doesn't go unnoticed by you. Groggily, you open your eyes to find him with his head dipped down, whispering profanities to himself, a pretty sheen of sweat covering his fair skin.

"Mmm, Co-coryo," you moan, catching his attention.

With a glint in his eyes, he grabs your hand, placing it where you can feel it too, his fingers lacing through yours as he holds it down, "Feel this? No one will ever get you to feel like I do, darling. I'm going to ruin you for all others. Not like I'll let you leave anyways."

It's never crossed your mind to leave Coriolanus. Not for a second. The moment you set eyes on him, you knew he was it, and the ring on your finger is a promise of that. It's why you let him use you as he pleases.

You babble out a response as the darkness consumes you once more. By morning, you'll barely remember a thing as a side effect of the pills, but Coryo won't let you forget.

The mixture of your relaxed state, Coriolanus' hand pressing down on you, and the angle of his thrusts allow for something that hasn't happened before. Something he'll enjoy for the years to come.

As he viciously snaps his hips to chase his release, you wiggle under him. There are words on your heavy tongue neither can make out, a warning.

"Shh," Coriolanus quiets you down, focusing on the way you're milking his cock for all that his worth.

He's in for a surprise when a particularly angled thrust causes you to squirt around him. A stream of your juices covering his cock and abdomen. Although he falters for a moment, he quickly pulls out and rubs at your clit, causing a smaller stream to leak out of you.

His night has become a hundred times better. His eyes widen in wonder as his brain creates new ways to have you and make you do it again. "This is going to be fun."

When you wake up in the morning, you don't remember what happened, but you know something did. It's in the way your cunt aches and how thick cum runs down your leg when you get up.

Brief, blurry memories surface as you shower. Truly, you didn't care. If anything, you're upset you missed out on the fun and can't remember the pleasure. Ultimately, you trust Coriolanus and that he won't hurt you.

You feel well-rested as you dress and make breakfast for the two of you. There is an undeniable ache in your cunt, but that's always welcomed. Your problems from yesterday are only a quiet hum in a dark corner of your brain.

"My love," you softly call out to Coriolanus, touching his naked shoulder.

"Good morning," he says with his eyes closed, although there is an undeniable grin on his lips. All the stress he felt yesterday has dissipated, leaving a pleasant feeling in his chest.

"Good morning to you, too," you giggle as you lean down to catch his lips in a kiss. There is a tangy taste attached to them that you recognize well. "Had a good night, did you?"

"I certainly did. Do you remember anything?" He asks, sitting up on the bed. The falling bedsheets reveal his toned chest and stomach. Gently, you grab the tray with food and place it on his lap.

"Barely," you scoff, "It's a shame." You technically haven't had sex with Coriolanus in two long weeks. His stunt from last night did nothing to satiate you or your mind that keeps picturing him in all sorts of compromising positions.

Coriolanus hums as he takes a bite of toast. You know him well enough to know he's amused that you don't remember and that he's hiding something.

"What is it?" You prod, brushing a strand of pale blonde hair away from his eyes.

"Nothing," he says with a shrug. He's making you work for it. Coryo loves his games, after all.

"Coryo," you speak his name with a warning.

He takes his time, sipping on the glass placed on the tray. "I just…I didn't know you could squirt," he reveals cheekily, stabbing his fork on a piece of fruit.

"What? That's because I don't," you say, taken aback.

A crease forms between your eyebrows. You and Coryo are not ashamed to talk about sex. It took you by surprise at first because he always presents himself so elegantly and no-nonsense. Behind the scenes, though, when he's with you, he's open to discussing everything he wishes to try and his likes and dislikes.

You, in return, have been the same. Admitting that you've never been able to squirt and might never be able to. It's been a topic of conversation numerous times, seeing as it's something Coryo has always been curious about.

"Yes, you do. Last night, you squirted all over my cock and my fingers and my tongue," he boasts with a smirk as he remembers all the times he made you cum after that.

"I did?"

"You were such a good girl for me, darling," Coriolanus responds, putting the tray of food to the side and cupping your face, "All you had to do was relax."

"Hard to do when you're edging me for hours," you roll your eyes at him. Edging you is just one of the fun ways he tortures you.

"Don't be a spoilsport," he frowns, gripping your face harder before planting another kiss on your lips.

"It's not fair. I can't remember anything," you softly murmur. It's a real damn shame you won't remember the first time you squirt or the face Coryo made at the realization.

"Poor thing. I can show you how to do it again. I practiced last night a couple of times," he whispers in your ear, kissing down to your pulse point, "But I can't right now, or I'll be late."

"Huh?" You dumbly respond, enthralled by his words, imagining all the pleasure he'll give you.

"Thanks for breakfast," Coriolanus says, standing from the bed and heading into the bathroom butt-naked.

You watch after him lustfully and angrily, forced to continue your morning as if nothing happened.

In less than an hour, Coriolanus is ready to return to Dr. Gaul's laboratory. He has to check for any progress in his experiment before heading to the university for his classes.

He sits you on the bed before he leaves, though, to show you something 'important.' "I'll see you tonight," he says, kissing the crown of your head and turning on the TV.

The screen shows you lying on your back, whining helplessly as Coryo slips two fingers into your cunt rapidly. The rings on his fingers and the palm of his hand glisten with your sticky juices.

He did not lie about your new ability as you watch your hole leak clear liquid. The Coryo on the screen, who had been encouraging you with lewd words, eagerly attaches his mouth to catch it all. When he pulls back, his chin is dripping with your release.

Watching yourself in that fucked out state and Coryo behaving so obscenely gets your silk panties wet. Glancing at the clock, you note you have 30 minutes till you have to be at the door.

In no time, you're spread out on the bed with your hand under your university skirt, panties pushed to the side fucking two fingers into your cunt. Your eyes are focused entirely on the screen, rewatching the clip.

thanks for reading! i hope you liked it!

part two for coryo making her squirt while she's actually conscious?

[lisafication]

This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game. 

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her! 

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling. 

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?! 

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle! 

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to. 

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him. 

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----(See reblogs for the second half)

[ivanzplaid]

okay a bit of an odd request but my way of flirting is oddly threatening like “i want to hallow out your chest and live in your rib cage :((“ to me it’s endearing 🙏 and i totally want to see slasher hc on how they’d react !! idc what slashers you use and you can be as silly as u want !! i think it’d be funny with Stu though ^^

hi!! dont sorry about odd requests, i love seeing everybodies ideas, and i love this!! im also so excited about me choosing the slashers so ill pick a variety🫶

slashers will includdeee; Baby Firefly, Otis Driftwood, RZ Michael Myers, Billy Lenz, Stu Matcher

Slashers x Gn! Reader | Odd Flirting

Warnings: Language, Fluff, mentions of murder

------------------------------------------------------------

Baby Firefly

oh she thinks its hilarious

you share a twisted sense of love? shes giggling at every sentence and comment you say, a hand hovering over her mouth to try to calm herself

she never thought if flirting like that before, but now that shes heard it shes as into it as you are

"You're too clever sweetheart! I woulda never thought of it like that, hm <3"

it started when you were helping her eith makeup for a show, she was bedazzled with a beautiful dress and a gorgeous amount of makeup over her already pretty face

you put on her lipstick and mindlessly let it slip, and before you know it shes smiling confused, asking uou to repeat what you said

she sees you laugh nervously before repeating it, and all she does is think about it before smiling, kissing your cheek to leave a red lipstick print, and then wants to come up with her own

she always likes to hear them, because not only is it sentimental and intimate to her, she loves to have somebody who acts or thinks a little like her, so maybe the more twisted / odder the flirting, she feels secure and that she understands you

will pout when she cant think of any, itll come with time

she wants to say some to you to see how you react, ahe loves i serving you when it happens and laughing, then hugging you

she claims her inspiration came from "her smart little doll"

a kiss after every comment is complimentary of course

"Aren't you just the cutest, I always learn the most with you!"

//

Otis Driftwood

"Fuck did you just say to me Darlin?"

takes the compliment very differently than baby, he thinks of it more of the gruesome manner than the romantic aspect, you may have to explain it to him

even after that he thinks its hilarious, did you come up with that yourself? fuckin genius

he says them back witty, but he loves to tease you about it, making them in snarky tones and drawn out phrases

he thinks of them a lot in his free time, analyzing them deeper than anybody else would think of it, because while he agrees theres a closeness to it, he wants to know why

will write down every one you say, for multiple reasons

your compliments give him ideas on his art, specifically the human-genre work of his, but when he thinks of you while carving and cutting hes never been more at peace

asks you about them at night so he can laugh while youre dozing off in his chest

most likely began when you two were awake late in the night because you couldnt sleep, and some rare sweet talk was going on before you said it

"Jesus honey, say that again?"

hes always amused when you speak, he treasures every sentence

"Sugar I need you to repeat that one, I didn't quite catch that,"

--

"Y'know, I thought that was what came out of that damn witty mouth of yours!"

//

RZ Michael Myers

he doesnt quite get it, but since he doesnt recieve compliments a lot, he doesnt think too much of it

he thinks of it along side his favor of killing, so in a way he can see the gorier side of it, and since he doesnt see anything wrong with that, he doesnt mind your flirting

he imagines what you said as hes on one of his sprees, he thinks your mind is excellent because hes never had as much fun without your ideas like that

he probably tries to think about the deeper meaning behind it, reflecting it in his art, and giving it to you to show his form of endearment

hes not really capable of reproducing flirtation it to you, since be doesnt have a good idea of it, but he has his own ways of loving you back

he'll tap you with his knife to get your attention when these start up, maybe tapping your heart lightly with the tip of it when you turn to look at him

will 100% hold you so youll stay in place, its his version if quality time, he grasps your side firmly and stares in silence, he thinks its endearing

guides you by the shoulders to take you somewhere

he has no opinion on your comments, but they do affect how he shows affection in some ways <3

//

Billy Lenz

possibly in the top 3 for king of twisted flirtatious comments, you went to the right man

he is EXCITED when you say it, hes definitely thought of flirting like that but has never been able to put it into words

"Billy likes this! Billy's pretty piggy is smart <3"

he will now use this 24/7, its his thing now, he thinks of comments youve never thought of before

whenever he sees and greets you, or wishes you goodnight, its always a "Billy wishes he could live in his special piggy," or "Heartbeats make Billy jealous, he should be there" he thinks its so intimate and smart

competitions come up with who can come up with more, its his favorite activity, he loves to test and play with you

new things to the relationship make him so happy, so this is oerfect

whenever you say these things to him, its like his hyperactivity shoots up

your sincerity is near and dear to his heart, he craves it now, he loves when you supply it

overall this only closens the relationship and makes him feel more comfortable, you inspire him and hes overjoyed, this is his pride and joy

"Billy loves his smart piggy!!"

//

Stu Matcher

normally he'd be the king of saying the most outrageous shit possible, he loves to catch people off guard and make you have to pause before you say anything

so when you say say something about how you wanna live in his ribcage, bro looks at you for a good minute with this face: 😲

"well you won that game babe, what did you say???"

he laughs hysterically while being confused, because you just outwitted him

"woahhh.. totally a creepy vibe, i love that!"

he likes to mess with billy and everybody else about it, crediting you as the 'founder' of it while shaking you by your shoulders

he likes to write down new ideas and recite them back to you, having eachother rate the newest ones you think of

if were being real, he probably takes some ideas from his killing onto these so they can be more intimate, hes a creative man who sees opportunity in every corner

because its in the gag-business, he deep dives and makes a fake analysis of 'what makes these compliments better than the rest' and presents it to you

everytime you say another one he does have to pause to think about it, hes a goofy little guy but these comments are more complicated so give the fella some time to realize what you said

[pupyuj]

im ngl overstimulated yujin has me stuttering

combining these two asks cuz why not! anyways atp i’m looking like i genuinely believe yujin has a dick bcs i almost never write about yuj w a cooch anymore (yuj cooch enthusiasts i will deliver soon do NAWT worry) but listen … she does have a dick and i know bcs she’s constantly slamming it inside m—[STATIC]

(p.s. i think it’s way too obvious that i enjoyed this a lot pls i loooveee yujin sm don’t look at me like thatttt)

we all agree that yujin has crazy stamina and even if she’s exhausted, the feeling of being inside you is just too good that she never really pulls out after the two of you finish :(( if she could, baby would be inside you all the time really! you always wondered how much yujin could take before she’s crying and pleading for mercy… it’s about time that you’re the one who has her whimpering and getting all limp after all! 😵‍💫

binding her to a soft, comfortable chair and letting her keep at least her shirt on bcs you’re not gonna lie, your shirt looked way too good on her 😍 you’d start slow with a cute little handjob and for a while it’d look like just another friday night of good fucking for the two of you but yujin notices what you were up to when she was three orgasms deep and you still haven’t taken her dick down your throat or inside you! i’d love to think that she’d start squirming! yuj is used to being the one who does all the teasing and the cruel ‘make her cry all night by pulling eight orgasms out of her in a matter of an hour’ game—not the other way around!

baby’s never been overstimulated… a part of her would be excited, but mostly she’d be terrified bcs what if she embarrasses herself! :(( her pride wouldn’t let her go down without a fight.. she’d try to get control but you wouldn’t budge of course.. this was a once in a blue moon opportunity! you have to see yujin beg helplessly for you to stop 🥺🥺

“hm.. don’t dry out so quick, baby… you still have to fill me up, remember?” you’d whisper in her ear while tears well up in her eyes after her sixth orgasm 🫣 her legs shaking, dick twitching in your hand… i love to think about how she’d bite her lip to not be too loud but ending up failing and cutting her lip on the process oh the poor girl 💔 kissing down her neck and whispering the nastiest, most degrading things in her while you gear her up for another climax… yujin really doesn’t know if she should be turned on or humiliated but either way, one of those feelings was the one making her cum so—

ah it’d be soooo messy too?:!;!/&,& your entire hand would be drenched with her cum and every time you lick it up it only makes yujin’s dick go stiff again,, it’s impressive really! how she’s still able to keep cumming so much 😵‍💫 “good puppy, you just know what mommy wants from you, huh?” oh yujinnie would go insane 🤤🤤 you’d think she’d start resisting and acting all bratty but nooo puppy loves to get praised! sure she hated the humiliating aspect of it all (…or did she?) but one “good girl” and her brain just goes all dumb for you 🥺💕

seeing her pretty, shiny eyes all glossed up with tears once you decided to have a taste of her cum directly from the source… god you’d only have her tip in your mouth and she’d already be thrashing around and shaking her head bcs yujinnie was so sensitive at that point :(( sobbing pathetically and moaning at the pleasure at the same time.. loving how she was so obviously torn between wanting to break free of her restraints to stop you or to finish what you started and fuck you to oblivion… yujinnie will get her fun later but right now, it was time for yours 🥰

taking in all of her dick down your throat in one fell swoop and yujin’s screaming in the air with her eyes nearly rolled back 😵‍💫 ugh the sight of her dick disappearing inside your mouth flawlessy every now and again only made things worse.. she has to fuck you and breed you until she was empty :(( it wouldn’t take long for her to cum again.. but at least this time not a drop was wasted! you made sure to swallow it all, just how she liked to see it 🤭 it would be her eleventh orgasm and poor puppy would be so tired ☹️ chest heaving up and down, sobbing softly while still struggling to break free… and now you feel bad! 😔

“i know, baby.. sorry i went overboard, i know…” you’d whisper while spooning her on your bed, making up for all your meanness with your awesome aftercare 🥺 yujinnie would be so cute all cuddled up to your side, face buried in your chest where it was warm… and you’d think that she would be too tired to even keep her eyes open but nope! the second you let down your guard, yujin would be rolling on top of you and pinnjng your hands above your head, grinning down at you like the sick pervert that was 🤭🤭

“your turn. make daddy happy now.”

don’t you just love switches?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[witchinatree]

i'm having so much fun with the new tmagp characters (and i will miss them dearly until april 11th) (side note: patreon members get access on my sisters birthday which is pretty cool) and i don't want to compare them to the tma characters because they are unique and different in MANY ways, i just also notice some parallels

gwen is very similar to jon, she has had a somewhat skeptic attitude but has now clearly been exposed to the horrors (bonzo..) and she's also climbing the corporate ladder if you will. she runs the place, she's grumpy, and i think she's closer to becoming an avatar than any of the others (even sam) (see my other post about it if youd like) (idk how to link it on mobile sorry)

alice and tim are kinda obvious, both comedic with younger brothers and are very susceptible to romantic feelings (sasha/sam). there was a lot more going on with tim and we haven't seen much of that side of alice, so i'm really excited to learn about her backstory and/or traumas. less excited about what that might to do her but yk.. yk..

sam/sasha is the most interesting one to me. sam is curious like sasha was. sasha wanted to know which made her archivist potential in everyone's eyes. sam also wants to know, he'd make a great archivist. except he's not cautious, he's like sasha if she had never worked in the artifact storage. i think sasha's strength was what she had already experienced and what she knew, but she didn't know enough and ultimately that got her killed. sam is going to keep learning until he does know enough, but he doesn't have that prior knowledge to stop him from going too far. very interesting characters from both of them

celia and martin i guess? celia's different since she's not exactly from tmagp

lena and elias because creepy murder boss

and finally colin and gertrude which is kind of insane of me to say but hear me out. gertrude cut out the eyes of book covers and magazines and everything in her home. she was incredibly paranoid she just was also a boss ass bitch about it. i think younger gertrude must've been a lot like colin, but she figured it out quicker and realized what she needed to do to survive. she asked the right questions and took the right precautions. she had the archive full of knowledge. colin doesn't have the archive, he's messing with the wrong thing and he's taking every precaution and hurting himself and those around him (sam's phone specifically comes to mind). i think gertrude was like colin but she had the right resources to get through it

idk all of these are very interesting and it makes me worry a bit, but ofc every character is unique and has aspects to them that change their stories. they're probably still gonna die though, we know jonny sims loves killing characters ☹️

[merakiui]

I am E A T I N G the accidental preganancy trope like good soup 👏 I’m so curious how that would be for more “hardass” characters who are hyper-focused/hyperfixated on their life and goals like:

-Azul, Jade to an extent, Rollo, Riddle, Vil

(Honorable mentions: Leona, Malleus, Jamil, Idia, and Deuce)

Like they could be doing SO well in their lives and are successful businessmen, mafia bosses, doctors, priests, etc etc lol (or are starting their young adult years!!!) and a baby is just SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD I LOVE IT lol

:o !!!! I think most of them on the list would take responsibility by marrying you or offering some form of assistance and support, whether monetary, emotional, physical (or all and more).

Rollo is a man of tradition, so naturally his first thought is to assume responsibility by marrying you. I think Riddle might think somewhere along the same lines because rules are so engrained into his being, and knowing how his mother is she likely views accidental pregnancies with such hateful scorn. Riddle thinks he's breaking a rule by not marrying you and he panics a little as he frets over how he'll tell his mother of this because it completely ruins her arranged marriage plans for him. But then it's almost a blessing in disguise because it gives Riddle the chance to make more choices for himself and have more autonomy over his personal life and relationships.

Malleus and Deuce are the characters who are the most thrilled with the news. They're both so in love with you, so an accidental pregnancy doesn't even feel like an accident to them because of how accepting of it they are! :D in Deuce's case, he looks so amazed as he asks to feel your belly (regardless of whether you're already showing or not) and he looks so excited. Does this mean he's going to be a dad now? It totally means that, right?! Omg he can't wait to tell his mama!!!!! And Malleus is so overjoyed. Very happy dragon hours. >w< he just radiates ebullience, but no one can truly tell because his expressions are often misread. But Lilia knows and he's very happy for you and Malleus.

Knowing Azul, he finds some way to work a child into his life. He's always making plans for the future, and while some aspects of these plans may be set in stone he can make changes when necessary. Maybe he's not entirely pleased because he's so worried and anxious, but then it hits him that he's going to be a father and ohhhh he's so soft. T^T I think Vil is much the same when it comes to his future. He's also highly determined and won't settle for less. For him a child is a surprise. He may not have planned to become a parent at this stage in his life, but he isn't complaining. Vil doesn't care what the media will say. He'll do his best to shield you from them so you can have a healthy, happy pregnancy and carry to term. He is so supportive!!!! Whatever you need or want, he'll get it for you.

Idia panics. T_T oh, he is so not ready. So unprepared. Filled to the brim with anxiety. What do you mean he's going to be a DAD????? That feels so impossible to fathom for him. He's just a gamer (and super intelligent tech genius who is renowned for his accomplishments, but that's besides the point). >_< you can't expect him to be S-tier at parenting when the only thing he's ever raised in his life are high-scores and virtual pets. ;;;; he's putty in your hands. You can do whatever you want; it's your body, so he won't force you to do something you don't want to do. If you do decide to keep the baby, he's poring over reputable sources online in an effort to understand how any of this works. He doesn't want to tell his parents because he knows how much they'll fawn and how eccentric they can be. Mama Shroud will share all sorts of stories from her time when she was pregnant; if you ever need anything, the Shrouds provide! You're set for life. And Ortho's excited to welcome another member into the family!!!

Leona has to warm up to the idea because kids have never been his priority. He takes responsibility; he's not going to be a scumbag or a deadbeat. Absolutely not. And he provides more than enough for you. If his brother's wife thought he was mistreating you, he'd never hear the end of it. But also Leona would never dream of mistreating you. Sure, the news is a bit of a shock at first and he's not too keen about raising a child with you, but that's just life. It's always going to be shocking when you least expect it. He may not be fond of it in the beginning, but when those feelings hit and he realizes he's a father and he's bonding more with you and feeling the baby kick and tumble around inside; it's genuinely so soft and sweet,,,, yeah, maybe this isn't so bad...

Jade........ he lives for surprises like this. To say he's pleased is an understatement. He is brimming with excitement and he wants to tell everyone and no one all at once. This is such a pleasant surprise! He cannot stop grinning because the two of you share such a wonderful secret now and he's going to keep it from everyone for as long as he can just so he can see them get shocked. You're probably in on it, too. >:) the two of you are so devious. I think he's the most relaxed with an accidental pregnancy, and his composed attitude definitely eases some of your initial fears. You're so relieved he's not upset, but then how could he ever be upset? You've created life together and he loves you. Oh, did you not know about that? :3c like news of your pregnancy, Jade's confession is just as sudden and shocking. (The two of you have lots of fun gaslighting Floyd when he visits and starts to take note of the subtle changes to you, which you both insist nothing has changed. It's all in good fun. Floyd's going to kick Jade's ass after the truth comes to light. How dare he not tell him he's having a baby with Shrimpy!!!!! That conceited asshole!!!)

[thewertsearch]

Mega-Giga Ask Comp: Part 3

@manorinthewoods asked: I'll be honest, I wrote the Locked Tomb ask having not read the Locked Tomb series. I literally only know the starting and ending strokes of the first book. That being said, I do like the half-soul-Sollux idea, and it works pretty well with the Locked Tomb's general theme of Lyctorhood, and how knotted the whole situation with Alecto, Gideon, and Harrow ends up being. (What is even going on with Nona) ~LOSS (4/13/24) @manorinthewoods asked: You know, if you hadn't already read Gideon the Ninth, I'd have recommended it as a good second liveblog. It really does fit your preferred sort of mystery. From all the clues presented, you could probably hit very close to the ultimate solution to the Lyctoral puzzle - as close as anybody could be expected to get. ~LOSS (25/4/24) @manorinthewoods asked: The Locked Tomb's prose is pretty good. On occasion, it happens to chime with a sound of 'Homestuck', but I only recall that twice so far in my reading. I like the skelebook. ~LOSS (27/4/24)

Once again, I'm glad my hidden agenda - convincing this blog's entire readership to check out The Locked Tomb - is bearing fruit.

I agree! TLT does occasionally give Homestuck vibes, presumably because its author is a fan. For the most part, though, its prose style is all its own.

Anonymous asked: Reference to American culture: the sphere of Jade's home dropping and the timer that preceded it are references to the Times Square Ball, an annual event held every New Year's Eve. A giant ball descends down a pole at 11:59 PM and reaches the bottom at 12:00 AM, January 1. I believe that you can figure out why the reference was included in the first place. Anonymous asked: btw the gamzee page was released on new years. ‘the miracle of a new beginning’ is the new year and the lab dropping is supposed to be a reference to the ball dropping in times square

Some America Lore here that I wasn't aware of.

I was wondering exactly what Gamzee meant by 'a new beginning'. Maybe Alternia practices the tradition as well.

@omnilew asked: the way you speculate and go indepth into sburbs features and how it affects the kids, made a silly headcanon that your kidsona is reading the comic while playing out their session though this is mainly because "Eventually, we were bound to cross a couple of wires that should never have been allowed to touch" kinda references chargerkind

I like it! Maybe my 'sonas have access to a more in-depth version of Rose's walkthrough, and are adding their own commentary in quiet moments during their own adventures.

@manorinthewoods asked: Your excitement over the resurrection of Dream Jade gave me a form of suspenseful mirth. Seeing how happy you were at her resurrection, while also knowing exactly what came of it, is perhaps textbook dramatic irony. If only you'd read a panel further… ~LOSS (26/4/24)

She looked so happy to be back, too! That certainly didn't last long.

She was prototyped with a smiling corpse, though. Maybe that was just her 'default' expression, and it vanished as soon as her actual feelings asserted themselves.

@thetinygladiator asked: 'I hadn’t really thought about Sally’s ectobiological parent - but now that I am, I think the funniest possible option is that it’s her landlady.' okay but i just gotta say… this immediately makes me think about how that relates to the house-building aspect. Like, with the giant tower, are they gonna charge the Imps for rent? That might work, honestly. Where do imps even live? Bet they don't have good AC or Wi-Fi, lemme tell ya.

300 GRIST/DAY NO CRUXTRUDER NO ALCHEMY NO PETS

@manorinthewoods submitted: How many computers would you have on your person if you were playing Sburb? Jade recommends at least 5. I say I'd have a laptop, phone, a spare of both of those, and computer gloves if I need to compute really fast. Also spare gloves. Speaking of the phone - is it possible for people to put phones in their pockets? Given Karkat (and a minor gag in Act 6), we can assume that it's difficult or uncommon to carry items without using the Sylladex - or maybe it's just tied to your dexterity, and you have to hold things gingerly to avoid captchaloguing them when you pick them up. On the other hand, there's no issues with accidentally storing something you've unstored and are using - so how does the Sylladex actually work? Do people just instinctively store their items once they're done using them? Is it difficult to avoid storing something you aren't using anymore? Can you stuff phones in pockets? If not, then why develop a PDA in the first place? Given the Sylladex, it should be much more commercially viable to make a tablet. ~LOSS (24/4/24)

Since Karkat can physically pick up a book, you can probably pocket your gear - although maybe there's a difference between holding an object and trying to add it to a physical 'inventory'. Either way, the issue is easily circumvented by employing wearable tech, like the kids do.

As depicted in my alchemy binge, my primary computing device would be the Pocket Holodex, which can remote into any computer in my sylladex.

In addition, my Modular Ring shirt is also a computer, which can presumably be augmented by adding extra mod1ules over time. I'd probably also captchalogue every computer in my apartment, of which I currently have six.

I'd be exploring the Medium with a minimum of seven computers, plus one pseudo-computer, plus a phone. Jade would certainly approve.

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: the tension in act 5 act 2 is perfect, i love it. maybe even moreso on rereads, the foreshadowing and generally ominous vibes always get to me @heliotropopause asked: You're getting to the part where the comic really starts hitting its stride. This'll be fun.

The ever-present countdown certainly adds a degree of urgency to the situation.

I'm really liking the pacing of this current act, as things slowly progress towards some critical point - one which, for now, is still shrouded in mystery.

Anonymous asked: Forwarding another ask for the person with no account ~DJ: Eridan's deal seems to be based on Wizardry Herbert - a proto-Homestuck work by Hussie. A parody of Harry Potter dealing with whether magic is real. [] But Methods of Rationality began in February 2010, so "Harry Potter but obsessed with science" might have also been an intentional reference to that.-RM @heliotropopause asked: Eridan Ampora and the Methods of Rationality sure is an idea for a fanfic. He'd be so bad at it.

Eridan would be an extremely funny choice for a ratfic protagonist. He'd be so smarmy about it - and thus, a perfect addition to their ranks.

What would the definitive Homestuck ratfic be called, do you think? I think Tool-Assisted Speedrun would be a decent choice.

@killedthekat asked: An interesting thing about doomed timelines is how they serve to prevent stable loop metagaming. As a basic example, in a typical stable time loop scenario, if you observe yourself unharmed in the future, you can throw yourself into high danger high reward situations and know that probability will twist itself into whatever improbable knot it needs to do to keep you safe. But in homestuck if you lean too hard on predestination you just get shunted into a doomed timeline for your trouble.

It's true. Timehopping just isn't fun in Homestuck, as you're constantly walking a tightrope, desperately trying to stay in the one timeline that might not get you killed.

It's a good way to prevent time-travelers from becoming overpowered - something which is probably necessary for a comic which makes such heavy use of the concept.

Anonymous asked: Now that you're updating while HS^2 is, I've realised that while I'm barely keeping up with ^2, I just yelled "Oh! Upd8!" out loud when I checked your blog, so to me? You're the real continuation of Homestuck

What an honor!

For veterans of the comic, this blog is more Homestuck: Revisited than Homestuck 2. As a woman who would much rather watch video essays about old Simpsons episodes than new seasons of the show, I completely understand why some would prefer the latter.

@manorinthewoods asked: I've since finished Worm. I think Sophia's by far the best Vriska candidate. Lisa, Amy, and Colin are less so, I think. ~LOSS (21/4/24)

Oh, nice, you got all the way through it! Worm is an absolute behemoth, and I know a lot of people who started it, and gave up halfway through.

Sophia is likely the closest match to Vriska in personality. I agree with an earlier comment, though, that the most Vriska-like character in terms of audience reaction is probably Amy.

Anonymous asked: Cannot believe someone would propose a Homestuck/Locked Tomb scenario and leave Gamzee as part of a spare pairing, when the Homestuck fic The Serendipity Gospels, written by the author of The Locked Tomb, stars Gamzee and Terezi in the proto-necromancer/cavalier dynamic. Absolutely appropriate to have Gamzee as Ninth though, since his facepaint is the direct ancestor to Harrow's. Gamzee and Terezi is such a funny pairing to go with. I'm certainly looking forward to checking out The Serendipity Gospels when I'm done with the comic - both to compare it to Homestuck and to the Locked Tomb.

As am I. Apparently it was left unfinished - but considering how long this liveblog is taking, maybe Taz will have updated by the time I'm done!

Wishful thinking, of course, but I live in hope.

@bladekindeyewear submitted:

(I started Dragon's Dogma 2 a couple weeks ago and did my best to a Gideon Nav pawn (NPC ally), facepaint and two-hander and all, and the "Jaunty Straightforward" voice selection has been EXTREMELY distracting / game-improving because her voice and attitude chatting beside my player all the time sound almost straight out of the audiobook.)

Damn, you really captured her essence. Pawn is a very fitting title for her, too :(

@manorinthewoods asked: On the topic of blood color names - Blue through Purple were renamed in Hiveswap. Originally, Vriska was Cerulean, Equius was Blue, and Gamzee was Indigo - which I like more than their modern incarnations. I think 'bronze' might also be a Hiveswap thing, although I won't dispute it, and rust might have been renamed to burgundy? Maybe burgundy is a synonym. Idk. ~LOSS (4/13/24)

I think I prefer the likes of olive, indigo and bronze over more generic terms like green, blue and brown, which would quickly lead to confusion.

Vriska's blood, for example, is also a shade of blue, so it would be a little strange if blue blood was an official term, but it didn't apply to her.

@mxamericanblue asked:hi i have been absolutely BINGING your live blog rn and i gotta just get this out this is so so cool watching you react has been giving me so much joy, i don't have a computer so i can't really experience homestuck again casually when i want to but watching you read it and react and THEORIZE??? omg your theories have been so fuckin killer it's given me a new appreciation for Hussie as a story teller and how spectacular this comic truly was thank you for this, i've been having a grand ol' time, and it's all cuz of u

Thank you! I feel like I've been theorizing a lot less since I came back from my hiatus, mostly because the comic hasn't introduced many big mysteries recently - aside, of course, from Aradia's unexplained explosion.

(Pre-posting update: Since first drafting this ask, my statement above is no longer true, as Gamzee has been revealed as Homestuck's most important character. What the actual fuck.)

@lilietsblog asked: re fifth house aradia: she's an archeolodist :)

Oh, shit, you're right.

Maybe she'd be in more danger from the Lyctor than I thought.

@ben-guy asked: Vriska's ascension to god-tier is, in my personal opinion, one of the most visually striking scenes in all of Homestuck. Also, one of the panels you didn't include (which is understandable w/ Homestuck lol. Sacrifices for the sake of brevity) specifically the one where she has him write "[…] plenty of time for that l8r" above her head… Think about the position she would have had to move him to to write that.

…jesus, Vriska. You can't just do that!

@martinkhall asked: "What is treasure but a fortune, waiting to be found?" Or stolen if you're the THIEF of Light.

Son of a bitch. That's why she's a pirate, isn't it?

Because a Thief of Light is someone who steals fortunes!

@manorinthewoods asked: Eidolons. A species purpose-built to play Sburb, while breaking every mechanic you can solely with biology. Eidolons don't sleep, and live in a hive mind. Their psychologies are very poor at recognising distinct things, with Eidolons seeing the world more in terms of a blur of colors and shapes. They thus have a very difficult time understanding Classes and Aspects, never mind that their mythology never involved deities, and they never invented chess, or games of any sort… ~LOSS (15/4/24)

The idea of a species engineered from the ground up to be Players does raise the interesting question of whether there was a first species to play Sburb.

Of course, with all the time-loops we've been working with, there might not have been a first species - unless Sburb was 'created' in some sort of metatemporal space, 'before' any loops were put in place.

@manorinthewoods submitted: You are very good at analysing Vriska's psyche. Vriska's character was executed very well, I think, and I would hate her with a burning passion platonically but to a high degree if I knew her in real life. She's just… really horrible. She's a horrible person. And half her shtick is that she keeps evading consequences in spite of that. All of her mental torture of Tavros, for instance, ends in her becoming the most powerful player in the session. What sort of justice is that, Terezi? ~LOSS (15/4/24)

She hasn't entirely evaded consequences, but it's undeniable that none of the consequences she's experienced have actually stopped her from doing the things she does.

She's lost an arm, an eye, she's been beaten up, she's bled to death, and literally none of it has caused her to let up on Tavros, even a little. Letting up on Tavros, to her, would be worse than any physical harm, because it would be an attack on her worldview.

@sanctferum asked: "Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t." - The general feel I've gotten from the community has been largely positive re: the new Homestuck 2 updates, which have indeed been happening. It's being updated once per month for now, so a lot slower going than non-hiatused OG Homestuck. But I'm enjoying it so far!

Once a month seems more sustainable than Hussie's original barely-believable pace for the comic. With Hussie no longer at the helm, expecting daily panels seems like a pretty big ask - most people don't have the time, money or energy do what Hussie did.

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you read UTDR fanfiction, but this Tavros and Vriska situation reminds me a little bit of Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. she's trying to push him to his limits and torture him into being someone who will kill, and he just won't. say, what's your read on comparing Flowey : Vriska?

Flowey does what he does because he's lost his emotions, but Vriska does what she does because she's consumed by her emotions.

If anything, Flowey has more in common with Aradia. They're both time-travelers whose ability to feel is somewhat compromised.

Anonymous asked: WHATTTTTT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BACK???????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ON A LONG ASS HIATUS BUT I JUST JOW DISCOVERED TUMBLR ISNT GIVING ME POST NOTIFICATIONS FOR YOU ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT TURNED ON FOR YOU AND IT WORKS FOR OTHER BLOGS???? WHAT THE HELL. IM GOING INSANE.

This has happened before - but before, I was also removed from Tumblr's search function, which doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Is anyone else having issues with Wertsearch post notifications?

@elkian asked: So has anyone mentioned the godhood joke yet? (The God Tiers costumes have hoods. God Hoods. Badum-tish)

LOL, I did miss that.

Anonymous asked: Fun Homestuck fact! After writing Karkat, someone brought up that the writer of the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book sounded a lot like Karkat. Andrew responded by telling them to imagine that it was actually written in all caps, basically canonizing that the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book was written by Karkat. At least, I think that's how that went? ~LOSS (28/2/23)

And it could be any Karkat, too. Maybe one of the Karkats from a doomed timeline actually learned to code from Sollux, and became a famous ~ATH developer.

@morganwick asked: So with conversation 8=8 apparently taking place in the immediate aftermath of Rose destroying her gate (even technically during Descend), and Rose's attitude towards Kanaya in the part of it that we see, does that change how much you think her attitude in their previous conversations reflects her genuine mental state?

Oh yeah, no, I’m pretty sure she was genuinely in a bad mood here. Not really so much because of Kanaya, and I think the anger directed at Kanaya specifically was inauthentic, but the bad mood itself was real. She'd recently been injected with several months of traumatic memories, after all.

@manorinthewoods asked: That panel, of John in Vriska's 'fabulous outfit', is actually pretty neat, because you can see from the proportions how young John really is. He's small, not even fully a teenager yet, and he's been thrown into this chaotic world of humans and trolls, quadrants, violence and danger. Everyone in the game must be scared, in some degree, but none of them ever show it. It makes you wonder just how strong Skaia's children really are. ~LOSS (29/4/23)

Seriously. In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes? Sburb has some very funny ideas about the optimal way it should be played.

I suppose this is something that had to be true, though, for Homestuck to be the coming-of-age story that Hussie wanted it to be.

Anonymous asked: My interpretation has always been that "the Blind Prophets" are actually just Terezi herself, in a time loop-y/predestined way. She's blind, her class is Seer, AKA prophet, and those are her numerals. Also, on an unrelated note, but to weigh in on your last ask, according to Latin conventions, the plural of lusus is lusus. Does Homestuck follow those conventions? Well…

Or, since there are two Seers in Homestuck, maybe they’re Terezi and Rose. She’s a Light Player, so a blinding would be suitably ironic.

Anonymous asked: re: captchalogue codes and the states of objects: it takes a relatively small change in the physical arrangement of atoms and whatnot to turn a ghost dad poster into, say, a little monsters poster, but the two have a relatively large difference between their conceptual nature. on the other hand, it would take a relatively large rearrangement of atoms to make the slime pogo ride be anything other than a slime pogo ride. perhaps this makes the former change state more easily than the latter? alternatively, maybe the captcha system just knows that all it would really take to make the slime pogo ride stop being covered in oil is soap and water and it's happy to do that on its own, but paper is harder to clean so it wants you to jump through more hoops for that one new question: if john had used his posters for alchemy before he was able to see their defacement, would the resultant objects also be beclowned? evidence seems to suggest that players with unawakened dream selves Will draw on their walls in their sleep and not see it until Ready, so there not being mechanisms in place to deal with that seems less likely than the alternative to me, but especially considering people who aren't them Can see the drawings, how??? would that even??? work??? what would've happened if john had done alchemy with the arms cake. i think it would be funny to see that

I think he’d still get the clown posters.

The kids keep accidentally making magic items, so It's clearly possible for someone to alchemize an object with properties they didn't foresee. Therefore, I think John would make what appears, to him, to be a normal poster - but Rose would still see it as it truly is.

Anonymous asked: any thoughts on what the horrorterrors are? beyond their (admittedly vague) intentions?

I think they’re a sign of the wider cosmology beyond Sburb - and, more specifically, a sign that there is a wider cosmology beyond Sburb.

I don't know if we'll necessarily get more expansion on them than we've already had, because their whole shtick is that they're unknowable. Needless to say, I'd love to be proven wrong.

[chrissv4mp]

nsfw alphabet, olivia rodrigo

warnings: smut (if it wasn't already obvious), degradation kink, praise kink, fingering, oral, other suggestive topics...

author's note: GUYSSS i love olivia sm and was super excited to write this when i got a request AHH

(sorry for not posting😞😞 been a little busy these past few days)

_____________

A = aftercare, (what they're like after sex)

literally the aftercare QUEEN. every time you guys are finally settled down, liv runs a warm bath/shower and is just SO, so gentle when she helps you into the bathroom.

she helps you wash your body and scrubs your hair since she knows you always get tired after sex.

B = body part, (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

her favorite body part of herself is definitely her hands/fingers. she just loves how you fall apart whenever she's knuckles deep inside of you and gets to watch you squirm underneath her.

her favorite body part of yours is your eyes. she adores watching them roll to the back of your head as she has you wrapped around her fingers (literally!!).

C = cum, (anything to do with cum, basically!)

olivia LOVES spreading her fingers out whenever she pulls them out of you just to watch your cum stick to them.

doesn't even waste a second before her fingers are in your mouth or her own, licking all your juices off her fingers. she thinks it's super hot (and it is!).

D = dirty secret, (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

not much of a secret, but she has the biggest breeding kink & just fantasizes about how beautiful you'd look carrying her baby. (even if it isn't scientifically impossible...)

E = experience, (how experienced are they? fo they know what they’re doing?)

i think she's pretty experienced since she's had past relationships & she's definitely a freak !!

F = favorite position, (this goes without saying...)

loves having you in missionary whenever her strap is buried deep inside of you, adores your little noises and how she can just shut you up with a kiss if you're being too loud.

liv never wastes the chance to get on her knees for you whenever she's needy, will literally drop to her knees on a hardwood floor just to beg you to fuck her.

G = goofy, (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i honestly don't think she's very goofy in bed, she really just likes to be more serious and like dominant.

H = hair, (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i think (since her armpits, hair, etc. are normally clean) she's hairless down there, she just thinks it's easier to work around (plus she loves whenever you get a nice view of her pussy while she teases you.)

if you have hair down there, she doesn't mind !!

I = intimacy, (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect.)

shes the most romantic person ever during sex, (more so after..) will praise you whenever you finish/when you've been good that day.

loves whispering little praises into your core as she eats you out.

J = jack off, (masturbation headcanon)

used to masturbate a little before she got with you, but now whenever she's like turned on she'll go straight to you since she knows you can't resist her.

if you're not in the mood, though, she respects you and goes off to relieve herself !

K = kink, (one or more of their kinks)

even though olivia adores praising you, she goes absolutely crazy whenever she gets the chance to degrade you, calling you her little slut.

she has the biggest breeding kink !! (as i said earlier) always tells you whenever her strap is buried in you, "'m gonna fuck a baby into you, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

L = location, (favorite places to do the do)

she's a very simple woman, loves fucking you in her bed or in the shower.

olivia loves hearing your moans echo off the bathroom walls as she fucks you dumb.

M = motivation, (what turns them on, gets them going)

gets really turned-on whenever you wear short skirts or just any article of clothing that's revealing.

whenever you get all touchy with her, she gets especially horny.

N = no, (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

would never be open to piss-play or period play, hates the idea of blood and just like literal pee on her body or in her mouth.

O = oral, (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she doesn't mind receiving, she loves it, but she favors whenever she gets to be the one giving.

is the biggest sucker for tasting you directly from your pussy.

P = pace, (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends on her mood/the day. if the day went well, then she's very sensual and takes her time with you, praising you every second.

if she's mad or had a bad day, though... you better believe she's dragging you to bedroom and fucking you into the mattress so rough you'd have a problem walking for a few days.

Q = quickie, (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesn't love quickies because she likes to take her time with you, but doesn't exactly hate them.

she wouldn't mind taking you in a family bathroom if you're needy at the grocery store!

R = risks, (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

shes not the girl to turn down something because she's a little scared, she's always open to trying new things with you!

S = stamina, (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

she can't go like an insane amount of rounds, but she can go at least 2-3.

if she's super needy and whiny, she won't even last a few minutes.

T = toys, (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i don't think she owns like a bunch of toys, but she definitely has a few vibrators and a strap.

she's a freak, guys, she owns a blindfold!

U = unfair, (how much they like to tease)

omg, she finds it so fun to just tease the ever living shit out of you until you're begging for her with tears in your eyes.

she's a nice girl, she really is, it's just your teary eyes and whiny little pleas that get her going.

V = vocal, (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she's loud. like, really loud. she whines and begs for you, and when you finally give her the relief she's been wanting, she can't help but fall apart for you.

definitely whimpers whenever she's close, muttering little "please, baby. lemme cum, need to cum so fucking bad.."

W = wild card, (a random headcanon for the character)

guys, like i said before.... she's a freak!!

one time at a party she might've been so turned-on by your outfit she fucked you in a photobooth???👀

X = x-ray, (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

got a feeling she has some muscles but not like an insane amount. she has abs and her biceps do come up a little when she's trying to open something (like a can) or grip it really hard.

Y = yearning, (how high is their sex drive?)

i think she has a high sex drive because of how good she thinks you look all the time, and mainly just because of you!

Z = zzz, (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

she wouldn't pass out immediately after sex, and she wouldn't be extremely energetic either.

she'd be like a little tired but also energized enough to run you both a warm bath and clean you up. but, when she falls into bed after the bath... she's out like a light in your arms.

. . .

[endthedream]

a dream come true

Pairing: Cupid!Jaemin x Human!Reader (she/her)

Summary: As the son of Cupid, Jaemin has been surrounded by love his entire life. But what happens when he gets sent on earth to pass a test that will determine his whole life? And what happens when he breaks the only rule he was ever given?

Words: 16k

Story color: soft pink

Note: Hello! As you can see, this was supposed to be out on Valentine’s Day, but since I got really sick and kept up by a lot of work at my job, I only finished writing now. I hope you can still enjoy it and that you are excited for more! Always remember to spread kindness~

masterlist of 'nct as supernatural creatures'

Love. One word. 4 letters. Billions of songs about it. And almost every person on this world is craving it.

It’s a marvelous feeling.

Racing hearts, sweaty hands, butterflies in your belly. You name it all.

Jaemin has been surrounded by it all his life. Being the son of Cupid, it was given. From the moment he was born he learned the main aspect of love. From the basic fact of what it is to how to spark it in others.

He has never experienced it himself, being held up at the house of his father, having to learn everything about the subject of love.

“The lovers, obviously. This card represents a unique bond and deep connection between two people. Its presence in a reading reflects a very authentic relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect.”, Jaemins teacher speaks, showing him the said tarot card. “Then there also is the card two cups. This one often reflects the commitment made to one another within a monogamous relationship. Then there is one of my favorites. The ace of cups. It heralds a new relationship filled with excitement, joy and happiness. This is the type of bliss you once experienced as a teenager in love, with butterflies in your stomach and a desire to spend every waking minute with your new love.”

Jaemin doesn’t even listen anymore. He already knows all this stuff, having taught himself the meaning of the love tarot cards by reading the books about them in his dad’s library. Even though Jaemin spends every waking hour hearing about the subject of love, he can’t seem to get enough of it. Not of the facts and statistics, no, but of the actual experience of falling into deep and unconditional love.

At night when he is supposed to sleep, he sneaks out of his room to read novels, the once his father tried to hide from him. By now he almost read all of the once he found. Sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about how his life would be if he was a human, living down on earth and being free to experience life in his full grace. Going on late night drives, going to high school and prom, getting a job, going grocery shopping but actually just putting sweets in his cart, having movie nights where he just ends up falling asleep half way through the movie, buying a shitty car that breaks down at the most unfortunate moments, but keeping it because he build up an emotional connection with it and most importantly fall in love. Fall into unconditional, breathtaking, gut shaking, heart wrenching love. God, does he crave that. But he can’t have it.

Jaemin can’t fall in love. Why? Because his father forbids him to. Even though love is the most desired feeling, his father banned his son from feeling it. Because with love comes heartbreak. The pain that consumes your body, that converts your thoughts and changes you. It turns you into something you never wanted to be, broken and sad. It leaves you huddled up in a corner, shaking and screaming into the void. It’s something you don’t even whish your greatest enemies.

In Cupids eyes he saved his son from this potential misery. In Jaemin’s eyes his father represses him. He holds Jaemin back from living the life he always wanted to live. Jaemin feels trapped, wronged and alone, held back from the one thing he always desired to have.

“Jaemin? Are you even listening?”, his teacher asks him.

“Sorry, Ma’am.”, he stutters out. “I was just caught up in my own thoughts.”

She speaks, adjusting the reading glasses that are lying at the bridge of her nose. “Were you daydreaming again? You know what your father says about daydreaming. It’s-“

“A waste of time and keeps me away from my duties. I know, I know.”, he interrupts her. “I’ve heard this a million times before.”

“If you heard it a million times, then why do you keep doing it? You need to learn, and you can’t learn if you don’t pay attention.”, she says, taking her glasses off and looking at him with a stern yet slightly sympathetic look. She always confuses him. One moment she is the most stern and bullheaded person, and in the next moment she is empathic and friendly. It’s like she carries two completely different personalities inside of her and she switches them up however she likes. “You have a very big test soon, which dedicates your future, Jaemin. It’s not good to waste your time with unnecessary things like sinking into your thoughts and dreaming about other realities. You have to put your focus on the present, the here and now. You must realize the weight of your situation.”

Jaemin nods, knowing that her statement has its truth, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to know the responsibilities he has to face soon, because this is not the life he wants.

“Okay, it’s getting late. How about you turn into bed earlier today and we continue with this tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”, he croaks out. “Sounds good.” His teacher gives him one last smile, before packing up and leaving him in the room by himself.

Instead of going to bed though, Jaemin grabs himself a book and sits down on the chair on his balcony. It’s crazy how his house, more like a mansion, is so big, filled to the brim with people, yet he feels so alone. His balcony is the only place he doesn’t have to feel that way. It’s like for a moment everything, his whole life, is different. He isn’t Jaemin, the son of the god of love and desire, no, he is just Jaemin, the boy with dreams and hopes. He doesn’t have responsibilities, he just exists. He breaths, he smiles, he feels. And most importantly, he dreams. He has the time to read and think about the life he will never have. And he does exactly that until the sun starts to peek out and the sky goes from dark to light.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.” Jaemin pauses, the spoon full of cereal halfway in his mouth.

“What?”, he lets out, thinking he didn’t hear right.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.”, the little angel repeats.

“Why?”, he asks, looking at the winged creature. He grew up around angels, most of them hired as maids around the house, doing the chores his father is too busy to do.

“I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He just said it’s urgent. So, I advise you to hurry up and go talk to him.”

Suddenly losing his appetite, he drops his spoon back into the bowl and stands up. It’s pretty known to the common folk that the gods are occupied people, having to watch over the humans and do their assigned work. For your dad it’s finding two individuals with matching traits and hitting them with his arrow, to make them fall in love with each other until the end of their time. That keeps up most of his time. Because not only does he have to find people, but he also has to match things like personality traits, interests, hobbies. You name it.

That’s why Jaemin rarely sees him. Well, actually, he never sees him. Once in a blue moon maybe. If he’s lucky he sees him fly by and get a little hello from him, but that didn’t happen in a while. Especially with Valentines Day nearing. So, it’s understandable why his stomach dropped to the ground and his hands started to shake, the minute the angel mentioned his father.

A small ‘Come in’ is heard from the door after Jaemin knocked on it. He takes a deep breath, before opening the door to his father’s office and taking a step in.

“Ah, son, you’re here. Great. Take a seat, I will be right with you.” He watches as his dad scribbles down a few things into a notebook as he takes a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk. His office looks exactly like you would imagine it to look. Pink and red. Hearts everywhere and a few arrows on the wall. The furniture a dark brown wood, creating a nice contrast to the bright pink in the rest of the room. When Jaemin was a child, he once asked his dad why he made his office look like a teenage girl who just experienced her first love. To that he just got a small chuckle and a short answer. “Because it reminds me of what my job is supposed to be.” That has stuck with Jaemin. To every normal person that was just a simple sentence, stating a simple statement, but to Jaemin it changed his whole view on his dad’s job. If his dad has to turn his office into an exploded love bomb, then the job itself can’t be the most enjoyable one. He knows it’s stressful and time consuming, but he doesn’t want to imagine how lonely and depressing it is to watch people constantly fall in love while all you do is sit in your office and work on the next couple. That’s definitely not the life Jaemin wants.

“I decided what your test is going to be about.”, Cupid speaks, sitting down on his chair. “You know how it is my job to find people who fit together and then bring them together.” Jaemin nods, intertwining his slightly shaking hands and lying them down on his lap.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. This test is important, not only to him or his father, but also to the other God’s. He has to proof that he was worth doing this job and if he fails this test… he doesn’t even want to think about that.

“I do this work from here, far away from where the love is actually happening. So I decided in order for you to pursue this work, you have to see it, face to face. I’m sending you down on earth and your task is it to make two people fall in love by Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day? That’s in 6 days.”, Jaemin exclaims with shock layering his voice.

“I know. That’s why you’re going tomorrow.” His father turns to him, leaning his arms on the table in front of him and looking his son into his eyes.

“I’m sending you to a high school, teenagers are easy to set up and would potentially not be to hard of a challenge. But since this is still a test, there is one condition. You can not use any powers. All you are allowed to use is your knowledge of love.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“You can talk to people, do nice acts. It’s your part to figure that out.”

For a while both of them just sit there in silence, Jaemin having to let all of this sink in.

“I know this is a lot for you and you may think that it’s too hard, but I know you can do it, Jaemin. You are good at what you do and you do it with a passion, and that’s what matters.” His father smiles at him and Jaemin swears he could have teared up at that moment. The last time he heard his father told him encouraging words was probably when he was 7 years old and fell off trying to balance on a rope that the angels build for him. His father helped him up and told him to try it again, giving him the at advice that with time and practice comes knowledge and safety. So Jaemin tried and tried, over and over again, until finally he crossed the whole rope without falling off. Cupid hugged the younger boy and told him he was proud of him.

“Thanks, dad.”, he mumbles quickly, picking at the skin of his nails.

“Go back up and prepare for tomorrow. I’m going to send you down on earth pretty early.”

With another nod, Jaemin stands up and walks towards the door. But before he can grab the doorknob, his father speaks up again. “And Jaemin?”

“Yes?”, he turns around.

“Don’t fall in love with anyone.”

Day 1

Jaemin has been dreaming about going to high school ever since he started reading about them in books, but actually going to one – even if it’s just for a week – is making him completely nervous. He spent the whole night trying to make a plan on how to pass his test and he came up with nothing. Nothing at all. He never actually made people fall in love. Yes, he has read about it, learned all things about it and even watched his dad do it, but doing it himself is frightening.

Walking through the hallways is making that even worse. He never realized how many students there actually are in a high school. The halls are big, way too big for Jaemin’s liking. Everything is decorated with hearts and flyers that talk about Valentines Day.

“Na Jaemin?”, an elderly woman calls out his name.

“Yes.”, his voice cracks a little, making him clear his throat before continuing to speak. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Great. Follow me.”, she says walking through a door. Jaemin walks after her, ignoring the stares of some students. “This is a map of the school, and this is your timetable. It has all your classes on, where they are and how you can get to them. I assigned someone to help you get used to the settings. She should be here in any second.”

“She-“, Jaemin gets cut off by someone storming into the room.

“Sorry, Ms. Johnson, I overslept and then the bus driver started to flirt with me again and said he will only let me on if I go on a date with him, so obviously I said no. Then he had the audacity to say I should at least hike my skirt up a bit when sitting down to give him some motivation to drive annoying kids to school and then I almost kicked him in the nuts, but luckily-“

Jaemin has never heard someone talk so much in such a short amount of time. He stands there the whole time, mouth hanging open, trying to follow a thing you are saying.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you are rambling again.”

“Oh, right, yeah.”, you say, taking a huge breath. “Anyway, you must be the new guy. I’m Y/N and I’m in charge of making sure you are not getting lost in here.” You reach your hand out to Jaemin, which he takes and shakes.

This is the first time Jaemin catches a glance of your face. Never in his life has he seen someone this gorgeous, and he was surrounded by Gods and Goddesses growing up.

“I’m Jaemin.”, his voice comes out a bare whisper.

You on the other side try not to let your eyes bulge out of your head. You swear that you have never seen someone this mesmerizing before. It’s like he was sculptured by gods. And his smile, oh god his smile. It makes you want to throw yourself on your bed and kick your legs like a fourteen-year-old. And his hand - that you are weirdly enough still holding – is so soft. You have never held a hand that is so smooth.

“Since you two seem to get along well, I suggest you leave my office and get to class, before Jaemin gets detention on his first day.”

You just nod, letting go of Jaemin’s hand and grabbing your stuff. Holding the door open, you let Jaemin step outside first, before following him. You look around the hallway, seeing all the decoration and the couples walking around while holding hands. All you can do is roll your eyes. It’s not like you hate Valentines Day, you just hate the message behind it. Why would you create a day to show love to your partner, when you can do that every single day that you spend with them. It’s an excuse for people to show the love they neglected to show their partners over the rest of the year. It’s not about love, it’s about proving people something you are not.

“We have most classes together.”, you speak up after a few seconds. “What a coincidence, right? First class is Math, which I hate by the way, but the teacher is cool. He always has some Math puns, some of them are dad jokes, but others are actually laughable. Well, I actually don’t understand most of them, but I laugh anyway to get better grades.”

You speak a lot. That’s one thing Jaemin makes a mental note on. Not that that’s a bad thing. He just never had someone speak so much to him.

“You are not much of a talker, huh?”, you say as you two walk into your shared math class.

“Not really.”, he shakes his head, sitting down beside you.

“Any reason why or are you just a general introverted person?” A reason? He has never thought about a reason. He was just always a quiet person. Of course, he has his opinions and thoughts, but he doesn’t want to share them all the time. He much rather prefers them to stay in his mind and his mind only. Maybe it’s because he grew up excluded from most people, kept up in his room most of the time. He just never really had someone to confine in, so he simply never did share his mind with anyone.  

“Guess I’m just an introverted person.” You nod, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“What?”, he asks, confusion and maybe a hint of insecurity layering his voice. He feels a bit naked when you look at him like that, like he is an open book, and you can read every chapter of him with just one single look.

“Nothing, it’s just that I feel like you’re not exactly aware of the presence you carry.”

“I carry a presence?”, he looks down at himself. There is nothing special about him. He doesn’t wear anything out of the ordinary, nor has he done anything special with his hair and yes he applied a bit of concealer, but only under his eyes to hide the eyebags from not sleeping the night before. Other than that, he tried to look as normal and human as he could.

“Yeah, you have an aura to you. Something that makes people stop and stare. Haven’t you noticed that everyone in the classroom stopped talking the moment you walked in?” No, he actually hasn’t. He was so focused on listening to you, that he hasn’t paid any attention to the other students in the classroom. Looking around now, he catches a few of the girls in the first row look at him, but immediately looking away the moment he makes eye contact with them. How did he completely block that out?

“See.”, you point out. “You are so oblivious to it and that makes you even more captivating. It’s crazy. You could easily get with all the girls in this school if you wanted to.”, you pause, looking at his widened eyes. “Or guys. Sorry, don’t want to assume anything.”

“It’s fine. It’s just that-“, before he can finish his sentence, the bell rings, signaling that class starts. And on cue the teacher walks in. Guess you will have to continue this conversation another time.

While class went on rather smoothly, Jaemin feels lost in a trance. This is everything he has ever wanted. Sitting in a classroom, writing notes and learning something new. It feels like a dream to him, a dream from which he never wants to wake up.

“Okay, you are one of the weirdest people I have ever met.”, you suddenly say as you try to catch up to him. Jaemin was just about to find a quiet place to sit down and observe the people around him.

“What do you mean?”, he asks, walking a little slower so you can match his steps.

“I have never seen someone be so interested in math. You looked at those numbers like you love them.” Jaemin lets out a quiet laugh. “No, I’m serious. You looked at them like you want to ask them out on a date to a fancy restaurant where you eat overprized pasta and wine that tastes like petrol. Then after a successful date, you drop them off by walking them to their front door and before you leave, you give them a sweet kiss, but you don’t overdo it, since it’s the first date and you want them to crave more.”

Finally finding a good place where he can look over the whole school yard, he sits down. You take a seat next to him before continuing. “Obviously you will start to date and spend your whole high school life together. You become the couple everyone is jealous of, and your life is great. You take them to prom, where you promise to stay together always. But that is until graduation and you realize that you go to different colleges that are miles away from each other. Your whole relationship will face a very hard challenge, but as expected you manage it well. You facetime every night, visit each other on holidays and eventually you graduate from college. You move together, get jobs, and spend each Saturday night having a Disney movie night. On your 6th anniversary you ask them to marry you, to which they obviously say yes. After your amazing wedding, you start to have some problems. The secretary at the company that you’re working with is flirting with you and the numbers start to get jealous. You reassure them, but the insecurity of not being enough is slowly killing them from the inside. And what will help you through it? The decision of having children. Which you will have 10 or more with them. The end.”

The whole time Jaemin sits there with a smile on his face. How can a person come up with such a bizarre story in such a short time?

“Are you done?”, he asks, humor lingering in his voice. You roll your eyes, grabbing a lunch box from your backpack.

“My whole point is that you are weird.”

“Tell me something new.”, Jaemin says, grabbing something from his backpack as well.

“What do you have there?”, you ask, taking a bite from your apple.

“Just something.”, he states, trying not to let you see the things written in the notebook he took out. In the notebook stands everything he has learned about love over the curse of his life.

Jaemin looks around the yard, observing the people and trying to find a pattern in their behavior. When someone is in love you can see it in the way they carry themselves around the person they like. Their body language, like leaning forward while talking or fiddling with their hands. Their facial expressions, batting their eyes or biting their lips. The constant need of physical touch or the very obvious avoiding of any sort of physical contact. The lingering stares, the twisting of their hair or the staring at the ground whenever the other person passes them by. Jaemin knows all the signs and he can differ them from love and antipathy.

“You look like a creep watching the students.”, you cut off his thoughts.

“Hm?”, he lets out, bringing his focus back to you.

“If you want gossip about the students, you could have just asked me, you know? But looking at them like that will just get you punched in the face, so stop it.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice I was starring.”, he clears his throat and nervously plays with the hem of his shirt.

You let out a small laugh. “You’re cute when you get nervous.” He looks up at you, shocked at your statement, but you continue talking before he can think about it more. “But do you want the gossip?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Okay, so the couple that you looked, well more stared at, is Renjun and his girlfriend. She doesn’t go to school here, but she visits him whenever she can. It’s kind of cute, but when you spend just 5 minutes with Renjun, you won’t find it cute anymore. All he talks about is his girlfriend and that 24/7. ‘Oh, I miss her.’ ‘I hope she thinks of me.’ ‘Why can’t she just go to this school.’ ‘Have you seen her new pictures? She looks like an angel.’ Ugh.”, you make a puking sound, to which Jaemin just snickers. He finds that cute. Imagine having someone that loves you so much that the only thing they think and talk about is you.

“Anyway, let’s get to the juicy part. There is this guy, Mark, and well he has to be one of the most awkward human beings to ever set a foot on this earth. I had to do one biology project with him, and he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I think girls just intimidate him. Anyway, I heard that he has a crush on this girl named Cherry. I don’t know her real name, that’s just what she goes with. But he seems to be down bad with her, but he is too awkward to make a move. Honestly, he is a hopeless case.”

Jaemin listens attentively, practically hanging off your lips at this point. “I don’t think he is a hopeless case.”, he says, scribbling in his notebook. “I mean just because someone is awkward around the person they like, doesn’t mean that they will never eventually find love. I think he just needs some encouragement, someone to hype him up and give him some confidence.”

You look at him with your eyebrows raised. “Are you some kind of love coach or what is happening right now?”

Jaemin freezes upon you saying that, not knowing how to react to that. “No!”, he exclaims. “I mean, no, of course not. I just feel bad for him.”

“Why? You went through the same thing?”

“No, not really. I mean, I never had a crush on someone before.”

“What?”, your voice comes out louder than you wanted to. “You never had a crush before? How?”

“I don’t know. I just never did. Can we please change the subject? Don’t you like have friends that are waiting for you?”

“First of all, rude how you desperately try to get rid of me. And second, I do have two best friends. But they are sick today. Well, no, they stayed at home to play video games.”, you roll your eyes as you say that. “Stupid boys, they must attend every competition and will even skip school for that. They purposely left me all alone at school, but it’s fine, because now I can hang out with you.”

A small shade of red appears on Jaemins cheeks after you say that. He feels the slight burn and immediately brings his hand to his face. He has never blushed before. That was the first time, and it was because of you. You didn’t even compliment him or flirt with him. You simply just stated that you can hang out with him. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Anyway,”, you say, packing your bag again. “I have to go before I miss my bus. See you tomorrow?”, you ask.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”, he sends you a small smile.

He watches you leave until he can’t see you anymore, before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Taking his notebook, he reads the notes he wrote over and over again, until an idea pops up in his mind. The awkward boy you were talking about, might be the key to making Jaemin pass his test.

Day 2

Jaemin spend the whole night taking and perfecting his notes. He figures that the best way is to get close to Mark, earn his trust. From there on he just has to ask the right questions, get Mark to admit his crush and then help him with some simple tips. It’s a piece of cake.

“Question.”, Jaemin says as he walks up to you at lunch, sitting down next to you.

“Oh my god.”, you exclaim, putting a hand on your chest out of shock. “You scared the shit out of me. Can you not sneak up on people.”

“Sorry.”, Jaemin sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

“You have a question?”

“Oh yeah. Are you close with Cherry?”, he asks, taking out a water bottle from his backpack and taking a sip.

“Why? You want to steal her from Mark?”, humor laces your voice, but Jaemin doesn’t get that. Instead, his eyes widen, and his ears turn into the shade of a tomato.

“No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“Relax Jaemin. I was just joking.” After you say that, you can see his body visibly relaxing. It’s kind of cute, you think. “To answer your question, no not really. I have chemistry class with her, and we worked on a project together. She is really nice, but we never got close. She’s got her own friend group.”

“Okay, thank you.” Before Jaemin can continue the conversation, you both hear someone call your name.

“Y/N, darling.”, two boys walk up to the table you sit on and take a place at either side of you.

“Ah, so you decided to finally come back to school instead of wasting your time on stupid games.”

Jaemin watches as the three of you interact. This must be the two best friends you mentioned yesterday. As Jaemin continues to watch he notices the two boys having completely different body languages. That’s another thing he learned over the years. Analyzing people based on their body languages. It has helped him a lot to see who he should talk to and who he should avoid.

The boy to your left has his shoulders up, not in a defensive way, but more in a shy way. His light brown hair badly needs a haircut, as it falls into his eyes and he has to brush it away with his fingers every few seconds. He seems like a quiet and reserved person, more like Jaemin himself. Someone who hides his thoughts and feelings.

The second boy on the other hand, seems like the most open person. He carries himself with a lot of confidence that you can see by the way he enters a room. He is aware of the eyes that are on him, and he enjoys the attention. The boy has a relaced presence, like nothing in the world could ever stop him. And just from that bit of information Jaemin can gather, he feels jealous. Because the black-haired boy is everything Jaemin ever wanted to be.

“Yeah, I mean we felt bad for leaving you alone.”, the guy on your left says, with a guilty look on his face.

“Yeah, we just couldn’t leave our dear Y/N alone and miserable any longer.”, black haired guy sing-songs as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. Jaemin feels a weird feeling appear in his chest upon seeing that, but he tries to ignore it before it expands. “But as I can see, you are not so alone after all.”

The attention of all three people is suddenly on Jaemin. He tries to muster up a smile and holds out his hand. “I’m Jaemin. I am new here.”

Both boys look at each other before chuckling. “Nice one that you got there.” Jaemin lowers his hand again. You scoff at your two friends, feeling bad for Jaemin, who looks at the three of you like a lost puppy.

“Guys don’t be so mean. He is just trying to be polite and make a good first impression.”, you reason with them before removing your friends arm from your shoulder and giving them both a slight punch for being so rude. “Now be nice and introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Jeno.”, the one on the left says, giving Jaemin a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Haechan.”, the one who had his arm wrapped around you speaks up.

“Now that we all introduced each other, Jaemin can be added as a final member to our cool friend group.”, you smile. “Maybe he can be a good influence on you two and stop you from playing so many video games.”

“I doubt that. I bet Jaemin plays as much as we do.”, Heachan voices, sending Jaemin an expecting look.

“No, I actually never played video games.”

You gasp in delight, reaching over and grabbing Jaemins hands. “Thank God. Finally, someone who is not obsessed with those stupid games. Oh, Jaemin we will get along so well.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin ends up at the school’s library after school. In his physics class he hears people raving about Mark’s abilities in the physics department. With that knowledge Jaemin wants to tell Mark he needs someone to help him with physics, a tutor is what it’s called. And the perfect match for that is Mark himself.

“Are you Mark?”, Jaemin asks a boy sitting at a table.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m Jaemin and I’m new here.”

“Oh yeah, I know who you are.”, Mark says, dropping the pen he was holding.

“You do?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, clearly confused by the statement.

“Yeah, dude. Everyone’s talking about you. You became some kind of legend around this school.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I don’t know man. They just say stuff about how handsome you are and how you look like a Greek god.” Jaemin’s shocked for a few second. He didn’t think the people in this school would even notice him, but now they are comparing him to the Gods? He feels blessed and guilty at the same time. Where he comes from the gods are the highest powers and admired by everyone, his father being one of them. They are known to have visuals like sculptures and strong, dominant personalities. So yes, he feels very honored to be compared to them, but he could never actually be like them. He is not on their level and will probably never be. “What’s up, dude?”

“Well,”, he stutters out. “I heard you are good at physics. I’ve been really struggling with that subject, and I was thinking that maybe you could help me a little, so I won’t fail my next class.”

Mark looks unsure for a second, putting his hand on his forehead and sighing. “Dude, I would really like to, but I have so many tests coming up and my mom is literally going to chop my balls off if I fail any of these.”

“Oh.”, Jaemin lets out a sound of disappointment. “No worries. Good luck with your tests.”

He turns around to leave, saddened that his plan didn’t work. Seeing the boy’s reaction, Mark starts to feel bad. Maybe he can spare a few hours tutoring him.

“Dude, wait up.” Jaemin lifts his head and turns around to look at Mark. “Meet me here tomorrow after school and we will go over some stuff, okay?”

Jaemin’s eyes light up at that. “Really? Thank you so much, Mark. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

As Jaemin walks out of the school, he realizes he has one problem. He doesn’t know how to make friends. I mean he has you now, but that wasn’t really a huge act, since you were put up with each other by the school’s secretary at the first day. And yes, he now has Jeno and Haechan as well, but that only happened, because you included Jaemin into the friend group.

Jaemin never had to make friends before. He was always content with being in his room and reading. At gatherings with Gods, he always kept himself out of conversations, letting his dad do that part.

What do you talk about with other people? What questions are okay to ask and which topic should he avoid bringing up?

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you ask, as you come up behind Jaemin.

Jaemin flinches, not expecting someone talking to him. “God, Y/N, you scared me.”

You let out a small laugh, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it in a comforting manor. “Sorry, you just looked so adorable while being deep in your own world, I had to know what is going on inside your head. And now we can call it quits for you scaring me earlier.”

Jaemin lowers his head to hide the blush that was slowly creeping up his neck. He doesn’t understand the effect you have on him. “It’s fine. I am just very jumpy, I guess.”

You smile, walking in front of him so you can face him. “So, want to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“How do you make friends?”, he asks, looking up and into your eyes.

“Friends? Why do you want to know that?”

Jaemin looks at you, not sure if he should tell you about his plan of befriending Mark. But he decides against it. What if you think that you don’t want to be friends with him anymore? Of course, he still wants that.

“Oh, just asking. I never really had friends in my old school, and I have some classes where you’re not in and it would be cool to not totally be alone in them.” He sees your lips quirk up at that.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Another wave of blush hits Jaemin and this time he is too slow to hide it. You catch a glimpse of his crimson cheeks and something about that makes your heart beat faster.

“Well, I’m not the best at giving advice in that department. I only had Jeno and Haechan as my friends my whole life and never made any effort to be friends with anyone else. But maybe I can ask Haechan. He is some sort of social butterfly. He makes friends everywhere he goes.”

Jaemin nods at that. It makes sense, after you all left the cafeteria earlier to get to your classes, he has seen Haechan talk to at least 5 people on the way.

“How about you give me your number and I will text you as soon as I asked him?”, you ask, reaching for your phone in your pocket.

“I don’t have a phone.”, Jaemin states, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“What? You have no phone? Not even a house phone.”

“Oh, yeah that I have. Just no cellphone.”, you shake your head, putting back your phone and grabbing a pen instead.

“You should really get one so we can get in contact outside of school as well.” You grab his arm and scribble down your number on it. “Call me in two hours with your house phone and then we can talk about the whole friend making thing, okay?”

Jaemin nods his head again, glancing down to your hand that is still holding his arm. “Speak to you later.”, you smile at him and give him a quick wink, before turning around and walking away.

‘I am so fucked.’, Jaemin thinks as he watches you leave with a fast beating heart.

Day 3  

Jaemin is tired. Beyond tired. He thinks he might fall asleep while trying to pay attention in class.

He spent the entire evening and half of the night on the phone with you. It was planned that you two would just discuss the tips and tricks Haechan had, but somehow the topics shifted and the two of you started talking about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you telling him stories about your life, but he didn’t mind that. He loved listening to your voice, hearing the different type of emotions you’re going through while talking. Jaemin has never done that - having a phone call. It’s so different from talking to someone in person. For him it feels like he can talk more openly. Phone calls have such a vulnerability to them. There is no one sitting in front of you, no one that can judge you for having your emotions. You don’t have to worry about your looks, if your hair sits right, if you have anything stuck in your teeth or if your clothes are wrinkly or not. You can just be you. You, your voice, and your thoughts.

Jaemin hasn’t seen you this morning and he is not sure how to face you. It feels weird after you shared so much of each other yesterday. Is he supposed to say anything to you when he sees you? Does he thank you for the phone call or for you opening up to him?

He doesn’t have enough time to think about that, because the bell rings, signaling that it’s the break. He grabs his things and walks outside the classroom but stops in his tracks. You are there, leaning against the lockers with your phone in your hand, your other one hiding behind your back. As you hear the students filling up the hallway, you look up to find Jaemin looking at you with a certain nervousness in his demeanor.  

“Hey dear.”, you say, making your way over to him.

“What are you doing here?”, Jaemin asks, taking you in. Is he imagining it or are you even more beautiful today?

“Going to school? Am I not allowed to go to my own school anymore?”, humor laces your voice as you form those questions. There are meant in a teasing way, but for some reason Jaemin doesn’t understand that.

“No. I mean, you can go to school. I just meant to ask what you are doing in front of my classroom.”

You let out a small laugh, as you take his hand and start walking towards the cafeteria. “I was just kidding.”, you reassure him. “And I was just being nice and picking you up so we can eat lunch together. Or do you not want to eat lunch with me?”

“Of course, I want to eat lunch with you!”, he eagerly says, nodding his head and looking at you with wide eyes. He almost looks like a puppy and for some reason you find that incredibly adorable.

“Good, because I would have annoyed you until you gave in anyway.”, you smile up to him, seeing his ears turn red. “And I got this for you.”, you add, showing him your other hand with a red rose in it.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, as he slowly takes the rose from your hand. “Thank you, Y/N. But why?”

“Well, they sell roses in school as a little Valentine’s special and I thought I should buy you one as a little thank you present for our phone call yesterday.”

“You really didn’t have to.”, he says, still a little taken back by your kindness.

“It’s no big deal, Jaemin.” But you don’t know how big of a deal that is to him. You don’t know that that is the nicest thing someone has ever done for him, and he will keep the rose even when it’s old and withered.

You give him one last smile before walking into the cafeteria with him right behind you. Spotting Haechan and Jeno, you two take a place at their table.

“Great, you are finally here. Jaemin, we need your advice as the third male in our friend group.”, Haechan speaks up not even a second after you two sat down.

“Oh god, this can only be bad.”, you say, taking a sip of your water.

“Jeno here says that if you want to take out a girl for the first date, you should go to a fancy restaurant. Like pick her up with flowers, wear your best suit, eat together and then after the dinner take a little walk before dropping her off at home. But I think that’s so boring. Why not do something fun and memorable? Like going to an amusement park together. Not dressed up, but in your normal everyday clothes. It seems so much more authentic that way and I think the girl would be a lot more impressed afterwards. What do you think? Which date idea is better?”

“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be asking Y/N because she is a girl.”

Haechan shakes his head, giving Jaemin a pointed look. “Y/N is weird. She never has good advice when it comes to dating.”

“Hey! That’s not true. I give great advice.”, you protest, pouting slightly and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night. Anyway, Jaemin please answer the question.”

Jaemin thinks for a second, gathering all his knowledge before answering.

“Well, first of all, not every girl is the same. A lot of girls like going to fancy restaurants, but there are also some who absolutely despise that. I think you should first get to know their basic interests before asking them out on a date. What do they like? What are they into? Are they more of an introverted or an extroverted person? Do they like to stay inside more or go outside? Based on that you can decide which type of date would fit more. But if you can’t get that knowledge, I would always go with something simpler. A first date is there to get to know the other person and see if you two can potentially work in a relationship. While a fancy restaurant is a great place to sit down and talk, there is a lot of pressure around you. Rich people staring at you, having to constantly be aware how you look while eating and also getting interrupted at the most unfitting times by your waiter. So, I would not suggest that. An amusement park sounds like a fun idea and is definitely memorable, but it is not a great place to get to know each other. You can barely talk with all the noises, there are people constantly running into you and let’s not talk about the overprized rides and food. Just keep it simple. Maybe meet up in a cute little café, where you can sit down for a while and talk. Then take a walk, enjoying each other’s company. Watching the sunset together will give it a more romantic note as well and then walk her home and ending it with giving her a kiss on the cheek.”

All three friends look at Jaemin with wide eyes and their mouths hung open.

“Are you some kind of dating god? Why was this the best advice I have ever heard?”, Jeno says, not really believing what just happened.

“Man, you must be swimming in pussy.”, Haechan comments, leaning back in his chair. Jaemin blushes at that comment, not because it’s true – which obviously is not – but more of embarrassment of the word choice.

“Na Jaemin, I think I just fell in love with you.”, you say, putting a hand on your chest for dramatic effect. The blush on his cheeks gets darker, spreading around his neck and ears as well.

“I think you are not the only one who is falling for someone.” Jeno and Haechan both look at each other with a knowing look.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin is early, maybe a little too early at the school’s library. He just couldn’t wait and was way too nervous. After the encounter earlier where Jeno called him a ‘dating god’, he feels much more confident in his abilities. Jaemin was never so sure of passing a test in his life. His father will be proud of him.

“Hey bro.”, Marks greets Jaemin as he sits down in front of him.

“Hey Mark.”, Jaemin smiles, nervously fondling with his hands under the table. This is it. This is his chance to prove everyone, to prove his father that Jaemin is worth taking the title as love god. All these years will finally be worth it. He can’t make any mistakes now. “Thank you again for agreeing to tutor me. It means a lot.”

“No problem, dude.”, Mark shrugs taking out the books he brought. “Well, how about we make a deal. Since I’m helping you with physics, how about you help me with something as well?”

“Yeah sure. With what?”

“Well,”, Mark starts, rubbing his neck in an awkward manor. “I talked to Haechan earlier and he told me about the great advice you gave him on dates and stuff like that. And I was wondering if you could help me as well?”

Jaemins gulps, getting even more nervous now. “I can try.”

Mark shows Jaemin a bright smile. “Great. So, I have this crush on this girl and believe me it’s been so long. And for some reason I can’t figure out how to talk to her or approach her without making a total fool of myself. Can you help me somehow?”

On the inside Jaemin is celebrating a huge party with confetti, balloons, and a band. On the outside Jaemin has to control himself to not let Mark see how happy he is at this request.

“Well, what do you know about her so far? What are her interests, things she likes, things she doesn’t like?”

Mark doesn’t even hesitate before answering. “She likes reading. I see her read almost every day. She is also obsessed with anything that has to do with cherries. That’s why her friends gave her the nickname Cherry. She likes to listen to softer music instead of loud and upbeat music. Sometimes when she listens to music, she closes her eyes like she takes in every single note and makes it her own. She loves fashion and likes to express herself through that. She doesn’t like the consistency of tomatoes because she thinks they are too squishy inside. Whenever someone opens a can of RedBull she crunches up her face in such a cute way because she hates the smell. She hates anyone who is mean to other people and is always the first one to stand up for the people who get bullied. She is also more of an introverted person and apparently hates small talk a lot which makes it harder for me to come up with something to talk to her about, because I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable around me.”

Jaemins nods along as Marks speaks, trying to memorize the different facts he listed.

“You seem to know a lot about her already Mark and you should use that to your advantage. Talk to her about the things you know she likes. Like music or her clothes. That will make her see that you are interested in the things she likes and that you pay attention to her. Maybe even search for two or three songs that you can recommend to her.”

Marks eyes light up as he hears that. “That’s such a good idea. Thank you Jaemin.”

“No problem. If there is anything else I can help you with just tell me.”

“Well, actually, there is one thing.” Mark looks at Jaemin, unsure if he should ask or not. “There is this little get together tonight. It’s nothing big, just a few students from our debate club getting together, eating and talking. And Cherry will be there too. At first, I didn’t want to go, but maybe that could be a great opportunity for me to talk to her.” Jaemin nods, finding the idea good. “But I really don’t want to go alone, because I know the minute I see Cherry my brain will shut off and I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. Would you maybe come with me? It would mean a lot to me, because then there would be someone there to calm my nerves and maybe give me some positive affirmations every now and then.”

All Jaemin can do is look at Mark with uncertainty. Him? Going to a gathering with people he doesn’t know. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea. Jaemin is already awkward when it comes to new people but being in this world for the first time, not really knowing how teenagers his age actually act like, makes him scared. Intimidated even.

“Y/N is going to be there too.”, Mark adds on.

“What?”, Jaemin asks, having not listened to what Mark was saying.

“Y/N is going to be there. She is also in the debate team. I thought you were friends, so I just wanted to let you know. You wouldn’t be alone because she is there to keep you company.”

At the mention of your name Jaemin flushes. You would be there too and Jaemin will be able to spend a whole evening with you? How can he say no to that? So, he clears his throat, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks before muttering a small ‘sure’.

“Great! Jaemin you’re the best, man.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin sits on Marks bed, waiting for him to return from the bathroom. He considered telling you that he will also go to the gathering today, but he has no phone to text you and unfortunately, he didn’t see you in school anymore. He tried to pick clothes out to look somewhat nice as well, wanting to make a good impression. But for who? You? No, surely not. Why would he want to make a good impression for you?

“What do you think? Is it too much?”, Mark asks after getting out of the bathroom wearing a new outfit.

“No, you look good, Mark. She will like it.” Mark lets out a relieved breath. Jaemin can practically feel the nervousness radiating from the poor boy. “Don’t worry too much. She will like you, Mark. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.”

“No that’s exactly what I’m worried about, being myself. What if she doesn’t like who I am?”

“Then she’s not worth it. Mark, you deserve someone who likes you the way you are and if she doesn’t than she isn’t the right person for you. It sounds harsh and it will probably hurt at first, but better let the person go before you go on and live a life where you have to be someone you’re not.”

Mark nods, letting the words sink in. “Wow, that was so deep man. Thank you.” He walks towards his mirror, checking his hair one last time. “I wrote a song about her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s not much and probably super cringey, but I put all my feelings into it.” Mark almost looks shy as he’s admitting that. It’s adorable seeing someone so in love.

“Why don’t you show it to her?”, Jaemin asks, watching as Mark mulls over the idea.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think she would get scared off and it would put way too much pressure on her to like me back.”

“I get that, but it could also be a good way of keeping the conversation go, since you said she likes music.”

“I will think about it.”, Mark says, grabbing his phone and headphones, before turning back to Jaemin. “Ready to go?”

20 minutes into the gathering and Jaemin already knows this is not his world. There are way too many people, it’s way too loud and he got stepped on the toes at least five times already. Mark is still by his side, having spot Cherry already, but waiting for a good timing before approaching. “She is still talking to her friends. I can’t go there while they are still there.”

“Why not? I don’t think you will get her completely alone tonight, since you said she is more of an introverted person. She will most likely stay in her comfort zone which in this case is her friends.”

“Dude how the heck are you so good at this?”, Mark asks, shaking his head in disbelief. Jaemin just shrugs, looking around mindlessly. Well, maybe not so mindlessly. Maybe ever since he put foot into the building, he has been looking for you. But just maybe.

“Okay, now or never. I will just talk to her. I can do this.”, Jaemin can practically hear the boys heart beat out of his chest.

“Of course, you can do this, Mark. You’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. Go get the girl.” With one last reassuring look from Jaemin, Mark makes his way over to Cherry, leaving Jaemin by himself.

Jaemin keeps an eye out, watching how Mark nervously talks to his crush, but he can’t watch the interaction for so long, because he hears a familiar voice.

“I knew I didn’t imagine hearing your voice.” You stand in front of him, pulling him into a quick hug. Jaemin thinks he unlearned how to breath properly. You look gorgeous, absolutely stunning. You styled your hair and you changed out of your school uniform into a pretty dress. Everything about you screams beauty and it makes Jaemin’s heartbeat faster. But why? He shouldn’t be feeling this way about you. “What are you doing here?”, you ask after breaking the hug and looking up at him with a small smile.

Jaemin points into Marks direction. “I’m helping Mark out with Cherry. So, I’m practically just here as moral support and a confidence booster.” You chuckle a bit, amused by the way Mark nervously gulps as he made Cherry laugh at whatever he just said.

“That’s very sweet of you, Jaemin.” Jaemin just shrugs, giving the illusion that it’s not much. But on the inside, he is dying. Everything he said earlier to Mark was just to be nice. Of course, he meant the words, but deep down he hopes that all of Marks worries won’t come true. It’s the only chance Jaemin has right now. There isn’t much time left until he has to go back to his father. If the plan with Mark fails, there won’t be any other plan left and Jaemin will pretty much be doomed. And he can’t be. He won’t be because Mark got this.

“Do you want to go outside for a bit? It’s super loud and I think I need some fresh air.” Jaemin nods at your request and together you go through the front door to take a seat at the patio. It’s probably for the best anyway. If Jaemin stayed inside and kept on watching over Mark, he would drive himself and also Mark insane.

“I hate stuff like this.”, you say, while looking up at the starry night sky.

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s not really my scene. The loudness, the amount of people and small talk. I hate having to talk to people I barely know about stuff that no one cares about. Maybe I’m just too socially awkward for it.” Jaemin nods, understanding this feeling. He has to go through the same thing too, at every gathering he has ever been at with his father. The gods are known for throwing the biggest parties that always ends up with the guests having had too much wine and something getting broken, creating a huge chaos. He would rather stay at home in his library, reading more human books and sinking into a world where he doesn’t have to face the weight the Gods puts on him.

“Me too.”, he says after a while, following your gaze up into the sky. “My father used to bring me to these parties with all his… coworkers. And I never felt like I belong there.” You turn to him with a small twinkle in your eyes.

“That’s the first time you ever mentioned anything about your family.”, you state, smiling at the way Jaemin is slowly opening more up to you.

“Is it really?”, he asks. He knows he successfully avoided the theme since the last thing he wants to do is lie to you. And well, he can’t really tell you he is the son of the god of love and was sent down to earth to pass a test. That would just make him sound crazy.

“Yeah, not even when we had our long phone call. While I poured out my whole family story, you never once mentioned yours. Tell me more about them and your life before you came here.”

Jaemin takes a minute to think. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he can’t not tell you something when you sit there, looking at him with wide eyes and an expecting smile. His gaze goes back to the sky as he tries to come up with something to tell you.

“My father and I always had a complicated relationship. He loves me and I know he does, but he is way too busy with work to show it to me. He is an important man and while I know his work means a lot to a huge amount of people, I sometimes wish things were different. I’m close to my teacher though. She is a huge part of my life. She taught me most of the things I know and while she’s still my teacher and had to be strict with me, she was always someone I could turn to when I had problems.”, he takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts before continuing. “When I was five years old, I walked into my dad’s office at night. He was working on a big project and couldn’t bring me to bed that night. I watched him concentrate on the papers for a few minutes until he noticed my presence. I told him I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep, but that was a lie. I just missed him and wanted his attention. I think he knew, because the next moment he stood up, turned the lights off in his office and brought me back to bed. Back then I didn’t know how huge that gesture was, but now that I’m older I see how much love he subtlety showed me. Now I look for those signs in everything he does. I realized through that, that it’s not the grand gestures that count all the time, but rather the small things a person shows you over the day.”

You hang onto every word he says, clearly mesmerized by his voice. “Wow. I take it all back. That was worth thinking that you probably hate me and don’t want to be close to me.”

“You thought I hate you?”, he asks, shock lacing his voice.

“Yeah, you are so distant towards me. You don’t tell me anything about your life and while I appreciate the mysterious aura you carry, I would like it at more if you actually tell me something about you instead of me having to guess everything.”

“Oh no, Y/N.”, Jaemin exclaims, taking one of your hands in his. “I don’t hate you, quiet opposite to be exact. I could never hate you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way and I promise I will open up to you more.”

You smile at him, enjoying the way his hand feels holding yours. “It’s okay, Jaemin. I also don’t hate you. I think you are so sweet and caring, really. You are one of the most kindhearted people I have ever met.” Jaemin feels his heart begining to beat fast again. Is he dreaming or is this really happening? You take his other hand in yours as well, scooting over so that you sit closer to him. “I want to tell you something Jaemin. And I want to do it now before I back out like the coward I am. I think I really li-“, but before you can finish your sentence, the door opens and someone storms out of the house.

“Fuck this.”, the person yells in a frustrated voice. Wait. Is that Mark?

“Mark?”, Jaemin asks, watching the figure walk away. “Sorry, Y/N. I will be back in a minute. I just have to check up on Mark.”

“No problem, Jaemin.” He gives you one last look, before letting go of your hands and running after the person.

“Mark? Hey, wait. What’s wrong?”, he asks, finally having caught up to the said person.

“Everything’s wrong. God, how can I be so stupid? And to think I wanted to show her my song.”

“What? What happened?”, Jaemin asks with a panicked voice.

“She rejected me. Saying something about not wanting a relationship and that I’m not really her type. I don’t know man.”, Mark frustratedly runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks for trying, Jaemin. I really appreciate your help, but that’s it.”

“What? No, you can still-“

“No, Jaemin. I can’t and it’s fine. Again, thank you, but I just want to go home now.” With that Mark turns around, walking along the sidewalk and leaving Jaemin by himself yet again.

“Jaemin?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. He can’t do anything but look at the ground. Was that really it? Did all this work over the years get destroyed in just a few minutes? Jaemin just shakes his head, taking your hand of his shoulder and making his way home. He ignores your calls for him, the same way he ignores the feeling of his breaking heart. How is he going to fix this all?

Day 4

He feels bad. Not only did he leave you standing alone on the street at night, but he also dodged all your phone calls. He just couldn’t talk to you, to anyone, really.

Jaemin stayed up all night figuring out what to do, making new plans and trying to find a way, a solution, to fix everything. And he came up with nothing. Nada.

Now he stands in the cafeteria, watching you talk to Jeno and Haechan. He can’t face you, fearing that he hurt you too much with his actions. So, he just stays there, watching how Haechan wraps an arm around you and plants a kiss on your cheek. What if…? No, definitely not. He can’t possibly do that. But the longer he stands that, observing everything, he can see all the patterns. The way Haechan looks at you whenever you speak, even when you weren’t even speaking. It’s the same way he saw Mark look at Cherry, the same way he read about in all those books. Haechan and you are in love. Definitely. It’s obvious. But why does that thought make his heart feel weird?

Jaemin is too lost in his inner conflict, that he doesn’t even notice you approaching him. “Jaemin?”, you softly call out his name. He blinks a few a times, seeming like he just got back to this world, before looking at you.

“Are you okay?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine.”, he stammers out. “And you? Are you okay?”

You nod. “I am now that you are here. I was really worried about you after you just ditched me and then ignored my calls. I thought something happened or that I said something to scare you away. I couldn’t sleep all night.”

“No!”, he says almost too loud. “You didn’t do anything. Really. It’s just that something came up and I had to leave. I’m sorry, I should have just told you.”

“It’s okay.”, you reassure him. “As long as you’re okay now.”

“You’re not mad at me?”, he asks, looking at you with guilt shimmering in his eyes.

“No, I could never be mad at you.” A weird spark of electricity shoots through Jaemins body, but all he can do is ignore it. Haechan, all he has to do is think about Haechan and how he is most likely in love with you.

“Jeno and I have to go talk to Ms Kim real quick. Is it okay for you to keep Haechan company? He said something about dying out of boredom without us.”, you chuckle a little after the last sentence and Jaemin sees the fondness in your eyes. His heart breaks a little.

“Uh, yeah sure. I can keep him company.”

“Great. It’s not going to take long. Just 10 minutes.”

It’s awkward when Jaemin sits down at the table. Maybe he just makes it awkward, but he can’t seem to face Haechan and it seems like Haechan can’t face him either. They sit together, not talking, just sitting in silence.

“Do you like Y/N?”, Jaemin asks out of nowhere.

“What? Why are you asking?”

Jaemin just shrugs, not sure why he really asked. Maybe he is just so desperate to pass his test that he wants to find people in love. Or maybe it’s for a completely different reason. Does he even want to help the two of you get into a relationship? Why is he even behaving that way? He has two more days before he has to go back and after those two days he won’t see any of you anymore. Well, that’s just partly true. He will still see you, but he won’t be able to communicate with you anymore. So, he shouldn’t care. He should just get the two of you together, pass the test and make everyone proud. He should definitely not sit here, hoping that Haechan is not interested in you.

“I mean, Y/N is great. She is one of the most kindhearted people I’ve ever met.” Fuck, that’s not what Jaemin wanted to hear. It’s true what Haechan says, but it just sounds like someone talking about his crush.

“Why did you never ask her out? I mean you’ve been friends for a long time now and Valentine’s Day is tomorrow so it would be the perfect time to ask her on a date.”

“Ask her out? I don’t know what-“, but before Haechan can continue, you and Jeno return back to the table.

“I swear, Ms Kim is always sick on the most inconvenient days.”, you mutter in frustration. “Anyway, what have the two of you been talking about.”

“Jaemin just asked me why I never asked you out on a date.”

“A date?”, you ask as you look between Jaemin and Haechan, confusion lingering in your voice and Jaemin can maybe see a bit of disappointment in your eyes. But he probably just imagined that. “With Haechan? Never. Don’t get me wrong, but Haechan is like a brother to me.”

“Ouch, you here that guys? I’m in the bro zone.” Haechan puts his hand on his chest, making a hurt expression. “You’re breaking my heart, Y/N.”

“Get over yourself.”, you say, slapping Haechans arm playfully while grinning like an idiot.

Oh, the two of you are so in love.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

„Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.“ , Jaemin states as the two of you walk out of school.

“I know. It’s all over school.”

“Do you have a date?”, he asks, making you stop walking for a second. Is he trying to ask you on? Is that why he asked Haechan why her never asked you out?

“No, I don’t. Why are you asking?”

“Well, I thought that maybe Haechan asked you.”

“Haechan?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Why would Haechan ask me to be his Valentine?”

Jaemin scoffs, maybe letting some pent of anger out. “Because you two like each other.”

“Like each other? What are you talking about? Have you gone completely mad?” Your voice raises not believing the words of Jaemin.

“Come on. It’s so obvious. You like each other. Everyone with eyes can see the attraction you two have for each other.” Jaemin can’t believe his own words. Why would he say stuff like that so openly and why does it completely wrench his heart to do so?

“Well obviously your eyes are not working. Haechan and I are just friends, and it will stay that way. If we liked each other, we would have confessed by now, believe me.”, you spit out, your voice far from being the nice and carefree you that Jaemin is used to. “And why do you care anyway? You just come here acting like we are at a freaking dating show. First Mark and Cherry and now that that didn’t work out you obsess over the next people you met. Well, let me tell you something Jaemin, that’s not how it works. That’s not how life works. You can’t force love onto anyone and everyone. God damn it, you act like your life depends on matching up people.”

“It does.”, he mumbles, looking down at his shoes.

“What?”

“Nothing.”, he just says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you upset. I was just trying to help.”, he says, running a hand through his hair. “I will just go home. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

He turns around, heading towards his home. Tomorrow he will go home and tomorrow he will have to face the disappointment he has caused. He will have to life with that for the rest of eternity. What will he do? Will he not have a job? What will his dad have to endure when the gods talk about how much of a disgrace his son is?

“Jaemin.”, a voice calls out for him. “Wait up.” You catch up with him, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “I’m sorry. I was… what I said was too harsh. I just got so mad, because I thought you will ask me to be your Valentine and then you said all those things about Haechan and I just thought ‘Why is he so oblivious? Doesn’t he realize I want to go out with him?’.”, you ramble, trying to explain the whole situation. All Jaemin can do is stare at you with wide eyes.

“You like me?”, he asks, his voice breaking.

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious? Well, apparently it isn’t since you didn’t get it. I have been trying to flirt with you, send you signs, you know.”

“I thought you were just being nice.”

“Oh god no. Believe me Jaemin I almost peed my pants every time I said something witty to you. I was definitely flirting.”

His brain stops working. You like him? But how? He hasn’t done anything special to make him likable. Oh no, you like him. You actually do and he has to go tomorrow. He has to go, and he doesn’t even get the chance to take you out.

But what’s worse is the tingly feeling Jaemin got at your confession. The way his heart fluttered, his hands got sweaty, and a smile of pure happiness graced his lips. He knows that feeling. He has studied it for all his life. Jaemin likes you. Jaemin has done the only thing he wasn’t allowed to do.  

But now it makes sense why he gets so nervous around you, why he blushes when you compliment him and why he can’t stop thinking about you anywhere he goes. He broke his father’s rule. Not only did he fail his test, but he also broke the only rule his father has given him. He fell in love with you. Damn you and your rambling and your cute smile and your funny jokes.

“Jaemin? Is everything okay? You look pale.”, you hold his arm as he starts to tumble a bit. “Hey, take it easy.” You walk him over to a bench to sit him down and take out your water bottle so he can take a sip.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I can’t.”, he whispers, not trusting his voice right now.

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t like you back. I just can’t.” A tear runs down his face, not wanting to accept his fate. He is so close to the life he always wanted. He goes to school, found friends, and even found some that likes him. But he can’t have it. What a bittersweet tragedy.

No words leave your mouth. What is there to say?

“It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me I do. But I can’t. I have to go tomorrow and after that we will never see each other again. Well, I will see you, but you won’t see me. And I don’t want to give you any false hope that might make you hold onto me. You shouldn’t, you can’t. We wouldn’t have a happy ending.” You let him get the words out, before grabbing his hand and making him look at you. The sight of him ruins you. His cheeks glister with tears, his eyes red and his lips quivering.

“Jaemin, please tell me what is going on. Why do you have to leave tomorrow and why can you see me, but I won’t see you? Please tell me the truth, I know something isn’t right.”

More tears stream down his face, but there is no hesitation when he tells you the truth. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m not human like you are. I’m the son of Armor. He sent me down here to do a test in which I have to set up two humans until Valentine’s Day without any power and just with the knowledge I gathered from the years of training. It should prove that I’m worthy of taking his job as the god of love, but I failed. I failed him and all the other gods.”

For a second, you want to laugh right at his face and tell him he is delusional, but then you see the waterfall of tears rolling down his face and you stop yourself. Maybe that’s why everyone says he looks like a god, because he is one, well at least has one as his father. That’s why he has such a strong presence whenever he enters the room. And that’s why he wanted to set up Mark and Cherry and you and Haechan so desperately. It all makes sense now.

“That’s why you thought Haechan and I are in love? You needed to set someone up before you go back tomorrow.” He nods, wiping the tears on his face.

“I needed to. It was my only chance of passing the test.” You nod, grabbing his hand and standing up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing you home.”

“Why?”

“Because we only have a few more hours left, and I would like to spend them with you.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Upon arriving in Jaemin’s apartment you are taken back for a few seconds. You know he has to leave tomorrow, but you didn’t expect his apartment to be so… empty. There was nothing but a small kitchen and a mattress on the floor.

“Sorry. It’s not much. We knew I was just staying for 5 days.” Jaemin throws his backpack and jacket in the corner of the room, before flopping down on the mattress.

“Are you hungry? I can order us something. I know a really good pizzeria that makes pizza that is to die for.” You try to lighten the mood a bit, but Jaemin is too kept up by his own mind to notice. He just hums in approval, staring up at his ceiling.

You give the pizzaria a quick call, before walking over to where Jaemin is laying.

“Scoot over.” He does as you say, making some space for you to lay down beside him.

“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”

Jaemin sighs, turning on his side to face you. “I wish you didn’t tell me that you liked me.” You’re taken back by the sudden boldness of his words. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to hear that you like me back, but it’s making it so much harder for me to leave.”

You nod at his words, reaching over to put your hand on his cheek. “I know and I’m sorry for his whole messed up situation, but isn’t it better knowing I feel the same thing, than never knowing that we had a chance in the first place?”

“I guess so.”, he says, looking back up at the ceiling. You sense that he needs time to sort out the mess in his head, so you keep quiet.

When the pizza arrives, you two eat in silence, both not knowing what to say and how to handle the situation.

You lay down again, but this time you pull him towards you so that his head rests on your chest. He closes his eyes, listening to your heartbeat. Jaemin wraps his arms around you, basking in your warmth and enjoying the first and probably last time he gets to hold you this close.

“If I could have it my way, I would ask you to be my Valentine for tomorrow by showing up at your house in a nice suit and flowers in my hand. Then I would give you the best Valentine you would ever have with cute self written love letters and compliments that I would shower you with over the day. But that won’t stop. Every day that I see you I tell you how much I appreciate having you in my life, how graced I am to call you mine. At least one day of every week I would plan a date for us to go on. Our relationship would bloom, and we would be that type of couple everyone’s jealous of. We graduate and start a life together. We have our ups and downs, but no matter what we always come back to each other. We would grow old and wrinkly together, sitting at the patio in our rocking chairs, watching our grandchildren play in the garden.”

A lonely tear rolls down your face, but you wipe it before Jaemin notices it. “God, that’s so cheesy. But I love it Jaemin.”

Jaemin sniffles a little, trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to leave again. “I can’t imagine that with anyone but you.”

He hugs you even tighter, feeling the exhaustion of the day catching up to him. He tugs his head into your neck, inhaling your calming scent as he closes his eyes.

“Maybe in another universe.”, you whisper, stroking his back. “Maybe in another universe we can be together.”

You leave a kiss on his forehead as you feel his body giving in to sleep. But you don’t sleep. You stay awake, holding Jaemin tight and thinking of any possible way of making Jaemins’ dream come true.

Day 5

Jaemin opens his eyes as the light shines through his window. He feels his head throb and his eyes burning.

“You’re finally awake.”, you say as kneel down in front of his mattress.

“What are you doing here?” You chuckle a little as you hear his sleepy voice and watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“I stayed the night, don’t you remember? I couldn’t possibly leave you alone like this.” You pass him the bowl, taking a seat beside him. “And I stayed to say that you might want to check your voice mail.”

“My voice mail?”, he asks, standing up and grabbing his house phone. He presses a few buttons before a voice starts playing.

“Hey man.”, he instantly recognizes this voice. “I asked Haechan were you are and he told me that you and Y/N called in sick today, which is weird since it’s Valentine’s Day and I bet you would have received a ton of flowers, but that’s not my point. I wanted to apologies and thank you. Turns out Cherry thought I was trying to play her and get her into bed. She didn’t take my confession serious the other day. So, she came up to me today and asked me to be her Valentine. I don’t know what happened, but I’m not going to complain. Thanks for believing in me, man. I will see you tomorrow and get well soon.”

The voice mail ends after that, but Jaemin can’t stop listening. He repeats it over and over again until you take the phone away from him.

“Did that really happen?”, he asks, thinking he is still dreaming.

“Yes, Jaemin. You did it. You passed your test.” Tears forming in his eyes, but for some reason, Jaemin doesn’t feel happy or relieved. Somehow, he feels sad.

“What’s wrong?”, you ask, rushing over to grab his hands. “Why aren’t you jumping up and down with happiness?”

“Because I have to leave.”, his voice wavering a little. “I have to leave you.” Upon those words leaving his lips, you feel your heart break into a million pieces. You spend the whole night thinking about this, about him leaving. It is weird to say this, but it feels like you were hit by an arrow of Amor yourself. You shouldn’t be feeling such strong emotions towards a boy you only know since the beginning of the week.

“It’s okay.”, you whisper after pulling him in for a hug. He clings himself onto you, tugging his head into your neck as he lets out a sob. You have to hold back yourself from breaking down as well. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard at first, but eventually we will move on, and it will hurt less.”

“But I don’t want to move on.”, he says through his sobs. “I want you.”

“I want you too, Jaemin.”, you break the hug, taking his face in your hands and looking him into his eyes.

“I will always want you.”, you whisper before gently placing your lips on his forehead.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Goodbye. A saying when you part ways with someone and officially Jaemins least favorite word.

Saying goodbye to you was probably the hardest thing Jaemin had to do, but there was no way around it. After you hugged him, again and again, until all the tears were shed, an angel picked him up to bring him back to his home.

Home. He doesn’t even want to call it that anymore. It currently doesn’t feel like he belongs there.

“Your father is awaiting you in his office.”, Jaemin nods at the angels’ words. “And congratulations on passing your test. We are all proud of you.” He should feel some sense of pride at those words, but he doesn’t.

Jaemin knocks on the door before he enters the big room. Nothing has changed in the five days that he was gone, except for him. He changed.

“Jaemin.”, Cupid speaks, making his way over to his son. “You passed your test. Congratulations. I knew you would do it.”

Jaemin watches as his father walks around his office. “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you these past days.” Cupid points to one of the chairs in his office, signaling for Jaemin to sit down. “I told you, you are not allowed to fall in love. And yet you did. You broke the only rule that I gave you.”

Silence fills up the room for a few seconds, as Armor thinks about his next words.

“Tell me about her.”

“What?”, Jaemin stutters, clearly not expecting to hear that.

“Tell me about her. I want to know why you broke the only rule I gave you and risked yourself being banned from here.”

Jaemin takes a deep breath, knowing that his next words are going to have to carry a lot of meaning.

“Her name is Y/N. She is a human, as you probably know. She goes to the school you sent me to and-“

“No, Jaemin. Don’t tell me the basic facts about her. I already know so much. Tell me what made you fall in love with her.”

“Oh wow, where to start?”, Jaemin wipes his hands on his jeans, trying to ease some of the tension in his body. “Well, she is kind. I think that that’s the first thing I noticed about her. The way she talks to people and helps them no matter what. She is so selfless. Always looking out for others and putting her own worries aside. She rambles a lot and I think that’s the most adorable thing ever. Sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and talks for minutes about the most random stuff to ever be heard. Oh, and the way she loves. I’ve never seen someone love so much and so unconditional. She has such a big heart and I love that. I love her. I love her so much.”

A small smile forms on his fathers face and Jaemin swears it’s been too long since he’s seen his father smile.

“You know I have to give you a punishment for your actions.”

Jaemin sighs, knowing that whatever follows will probably not be good. “Yeah, whatever it is, I will take it.”

His father walks back to his desk, taking a seat. “You know the Gods weren’t exactly happy to see you fall in love with a mortal. They’ve been quiet upset and I talked to them. Together we found a punishment that would make up for it.” Jaemin lowers his head, watching his hands nervously fidgeting.

“We decided to send you down to earth. Permanently. Of course you are allowed to visit every now and then, but your home won’t be here anymore. You will be mortal just like the other humans on earth.”

At his fathers’ words, Jaemin’s head shoots up. “What?”

“You heard me.”, his father says, his wings twitching a little. “You can pack your things and leave whenever you are ready.”

“But what about the job? I thought I was supposed to take over.”

“I think I can manage this job for a few eternities more.”

Jaemin just sits there, not knowing what to say or what to think.

“Dad, I don’t know what to say. How can I ever thank you for that.”

“Thank me?”, his dad asks. “Don’t thank me. It’s a punishment after all.” He sends his son a wink, before grabbing a pile of paper on his desk. “What are you waiting for? You should pack, before I change my mind.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You never felt pain like this. Ever since Jaemin left, you have been curled up in your bed, crying your eyes out and ignoring all the calls from Haechan and Jeno.

You know they just care about you, but you don’t feel like talking to anyone. You just want Jaemin and no one else.

“Y/N?”, your mom asks as she knocks on your door. “Y/N sweety, there is someone at the door for you.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Can you send them away please?”

But your mom doesn’t leave. “I really think you should talk to him. He seems kind of nervous, and he has flowers.”

Him? Flowers? Does Haechan really think flowers would make you feel better? With a groan you stand up, opening your door and ignoring the worried look on your moms face as you make your way downstairs.

“Haechan, you know I love you, but I really don’t feel like having company right now and I would love if you could leave so I can wither in self-pity.” You keep your eyes on the ground as you open the door, not wanting to reveal the tears on your face.

“That’s unfortunate, I would have loved to take you out on a date.” That’s not Haechan’s voice and those are definitely not Haechan’s shoes you are looking at.

In an instant you look up and can’t believe when you see Jaemin standing there. He is dressed in a black suit, his hair neatly combed back and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Jaemin?”, you ask, not believing your eyes.

“Yep, that’s my name.”

Tears fill your eyes as you look him at him, taking in his soft features. It feels like you haven’t seen him in months, while in reality it’s just been a few hours. “It’s really you?” He nods, having tears in his eyes as well. “But how?”

“I will explain it all to you later. But before that I want to take you out on the best date you will ever have.”

You take a few seconds, trying to control your feelings, but failing miserably and just letting your tears stream down your face.

“Oh, fuck it.”, you say, before leaping into his arms and pressing your lips on his. You hear him sighing into the kiss, letting go of the flowers and wrapping both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you as close as possible as he lets his lips speak all the words he could never put into a sentence.

In that moment you decide that kissing him is the second best feeling you ever get to have.

The best feeling of all is loving him.

And that you will until the end of time. In this universe and in every other one as well.

Bonus scene

The cafeteria table is filled with laughter. Jaemin can’t help but to admire the little friend group he made. Haechan and Jeno bickering over an unknown reason, Mark feeding a piece of an apple to Cherry and you, tucked under his arm, laughing at your friends.

“I swear,”, Mark starts to say. “I’m so glad everything turned out the way it did.”

“Why so sentimental all of the sudden?”, Haechan asks, eyeing his friend with a suspicious look on his face.

“I don’t know. I’m just happy.”, Mark shrugs, taking one of Cherry’s hands in his.

“Me too.”, Jaemin speaks up, catching the attention of his friends. “I’m also happy with the way things turned out for us.”

You poke his side, laughing softly at the way he flinches together. “Is my baby getting emotional?” A gagging sound can be heard from the other side of the table.

“You guys are gross.”, Jeno says, making Haechan nod in agreement.

You just roll your eyes, throwing french fries at their heads. “You’re just jealous that your discord kittens are actually 56 year old men.”

The two boys start to complain, but no one listens to the excuses they try to come up with.

“No, but seriously.”, Mark starts again. “If you hadn’t sent Cherry my song, we would never sit here.”

Jaemin eyes Mark with confusion written all over his face. “Song? I didn’t-“ But before Jaemin can finish his sentence, you elbow him into the side, making him groan in pain.

“Yeah, right? That was so clever and kind of Jaemin. I’m really glad the two of you ended up together. You make a great couple.”, you tell Mark and Cherry, making both of them show you a sweet grin in return.

Jaemin looks at down at you with his eyebrows frowned, but you just give him a warm smile and lay your head on his shoulder.

And that’s when he realizes that it was you all along. You sent Mark’s song to Cherry and you were the reason Jaemin passed his test and Mark and Cherry fell in love. It was you that made it possible for all of you sitting at this table together.

All Jaemin can do is pull you closer to him and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. He will talk to you later and express the gratitude he has for the things you’ve done. But for now Jaemin enjoys the moment of quietness that he has with the love of his life in his arms and his friends around him.

This is the life Jaemin always dreamed of having and now his dream finally came true.

[merp-blerp]

EVEN MORE Things about Cinderella's Castle I'm excited about already as a big Cinderella fan

Part One, Part Two (This), Part Three

I did this once, guess I'm excited enough to do it again!

The songs sound wonderful! Can't wait to hear what they sound like with the cast and I can't wait to see what Lauren does with the choreo! NPMD blew me away and I can't wait to see how this show will kill me. "Cursed Crazy", "Step On Your Grave", "Ash To Ash", and "Ever After" are my favorite demos so far.

I think it's so cool that "Step On Your Grave" is such an angry song. I know it takes place while Ella's cooking her step-family dinner, but it would be really interesting if a reprise took place after Ella learns she can't go to the ball (that is if the story works the same way as usual). Normally, if Cinderella gets a song during this moment, it's very mournful, like say "In My Own Little Corner (Reprise)" from 1997 Cinderella. And that's great! But giving Ella a song like that, but with a "No Good Deed" from Wicked vibe would be so original and new as far as I'm aware! Cinderella has every right to be sad at her abusive situation, but also every right to be angry! Imagine she wants to follow them to the ball not to have a good night like usual but to kill her step-family on the way or at the ball somehow. Whether a rendition of "Step On Your Grave" is at a moment like this in the show or not, Ella deserves a song like that I think and I'm glad she's got one.

"Step On Your Grave" has a lot of allusions to Ella once being a princess in the making before the step-family or something came along, and Ella mentions her father having a sword, so I wonder if the Ashmores are fallen royalty or had royal tie-ins of some kind. Like maybe Ella was arranged to wed a prince or something.

"Ever After" has some elements of grief and that's so special I think. Cinderella often loses someone or something under her step-family, like her family or her former life, but the grief aspect isn't brought up too much very often in adaptations, the most significant time I can think of it being brought up is in 1997 Cinderella. It'd be nice to include that element in this show. I can't help but wonder if Ella's father's death was accidental in this show. "Ever After" kind of reminds me a bit of "Cool As I Think I Am" from NPMD sound-wise; some smart musical person should mash them up once "Ever After" is released. Ella also might be kinda regicidal in this song too, so... POOR GIRL'S JUST SO CONTEMPLATIVE!

I genuinely doubt "Trappings of Starlight" has much to do with the Starlight Theather from Hatchetfield, but to add to that craziness, the "Uh-oh-oh-oh," reminds me of the vocalizing from "Axe Man" from NT2. And "Should we shun her?" in "Castle On A Hill" reminds me of "Should we kill him?" in "The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals". I don't think it means anything though. It seems pretty clear that The Lands That Are and Hatchetfield aren't going to have much overlap.

"Ash To Ash" seemingly referencing Ella's mom! I get this feeling that Ella's mom was a witch or enchantress of some kind and that's why she was burned. And it sounds like the Fairy Queen and Ella are maybe plotting revenge on someone or a system, maybe? And I wonder what QF means by saying Ella is "Terrible as I". Maybe she means terrible as in great or fearsome, like, say, "Oz the great and terrible" or something. And the lyric, "I shall wrap thee in these cinders, Ell" makes me wonder if her dress will be made with starlight + the cinders on her body—what a wicked idea! I love how far the Langs took the whole cinders and ash thing. With Ella's surname being Ashmore and this being a duet with the Fairy Queen, I'm very curious about the title and if there's a double meaning; are Ella and the Fairy Queen related in some way? This retelling will be so good!

In the subtitles for "Ash To Ash" in the 4/13 livestream, I assumed "Q+C" was supposed to be "Queen (Fairy) + Cinderella", but listening to the song a second time, it sounds like C's lines overlap Ella's very slightly, which would make it hard for one person (Bryce) to sing alone. So C is likely not Ella in that song. Maybe it's Crumb? Some in the chat said it probably just meant chorus, so we'll see eventually.

All the little motifs that exist already! Like "Will it Ever After Happily?" in "Castle On A Hill" and "Ever After". Or the talk of Ella painting in both "Ever After" and "Last For Ever". "Ever After" has so many! AAAHHH!

The Lyrics in "Castle On A Hill" being "A queen and her vanity, a beast and his agony" have me Thinking™. Are the prince's parents Beauty and the Beast? Is the prince a beast? And there's also the Excalibur callback??? Since Nick said there would be no other fairytales involved in this story, it might just be more of a reference than literal, but it's still cool.

The lyrics to "Cursed Crazy" make me wonder if the citizens blame Ella for the Ashmore family's demise for some reason. The idea of Cinderella not even being able to find potential solace in the townsfolk is so sad! There's so much to think about!

Dying to know what "'Cause my love will be fierce, and your love will be missed," in "Trappings Of Starlight" will mean. It's such an intriguing line. As well as who is the character singing the song. We seemingly don't know who they are yet.

Seraphim Fairy Queen is such a cool idea, especially with all the talk of God(s) or a god in "Ash To Ash"! No pressure on the Langs, but it'd be so cool for them to be able to go through with that design concept, even if it's through minimal tactics. I can't wait to see who this Fairy Queen is. Is she the prince's mom??? A Sleeping Beauty-type character we could follow in a future show??? Ella's mom??? Ella's girlfriend??? This will be so cool!

There are more characters that we haven't been introduced to yet! We can still get Ella a girlfriend guys! Genuinely excited to see who they are!

The fact that the trolls eat rodents and other smaller creatures has me a bit worried about Sir Hop and Crumb. Maybe Ella was going to cook them for her step-family, but became friends with them instead, protecting them from getting eaten.

Not to get too Crazy, but what if the characters singing with Ella in "Last For Ever" are her parents, resurrected, or never actually dead or something. Probably not, but what if???

I have a feeling I'll be making more lists as we learn more about the show, so if I have any more thoughts I'll try.

[shakingparadigm]

What if Luka expects Hyuna to come like she did in his round with Mizi and he is plotting something.He has the trust of aliens,the love of the public and no one would suspect him to do something outside the box,far from the image he created of himself.Hyuna made her appearence in round 5 when we didn't expected it. If the round isn't entirely dedicated to Ivan and Till,this may be an option.He may confront Mizi and Hyuna,they may not be able to rescue Ivan and Till and not make it in time. Luka may not appear at all.

(Me overthinking things: OMG Akugetsu will cover Hyuna's song this must mean something | The other me: OMG I can't wait,this song literally suits him!)

(I like the style of your drawings,the way you use colors and the way you phrase things! When something about ALNST comes out I just wait for your updates! I can't imagine what will happen on tumblr when round 6 is out. And then all of us will wait for the next one over again XD)

Till the end.

TILL... the end...

Ok this is the worst joke I could ever make.

Oohh. Luka appearing in ROUND 6 would honestly be insane. I thought about him making an appearance in the short teaser scene before credits, but if he actually confronted anyone himself that would be so interesting. Imagine all 6 of them in the same episode... the same room... no way... the Alien Stage would be real...

Luka attempting to sabotage Mizi and Hyuna is such an intriguing concept. I do think he's figured out that Hyuna will be returning, he grew up with her, after all. He's most likely aware of her penchant for protecting people. He probably expects Mizi to come back for the only friends she has left, too. He couldn't do anything the first time he saw Hyuna after ROUND 5, but he might be more eager to get his hands on her now. If we get our first adult Hyuna and Luka interaction during ROUND 6 I'd actually go insane. as much as I hope for it though, I'm not sure whether or not it will actually happen. ROUND 6 already has a lot going for it. A final confession of love already makes for a heavy episode, but with Till's newly revealed backstory added to the mix? Mizi and Hyuna's attempt at a jailbreak? The whole video would probably need an entire week to be processed and even comprehended, especially if they want to go into extensive detail on each aspect. Still, though, if Luka interfered... if Mizi and Hyuna were unable to save anyone and had to defeatedly return to the rebellion base carrying the weight of their failure, well, I DON'T THINK I'D BE REACHABLE FOR AT LEAST 10 BUSINESS DAYS I'd have to go into hiding in order to cope with that. But who knows! The fun part about VIVINOS videos is that they're always gonna leave you fucked up in one way or another!

AKUGETSU COVERING ALL-IN. TILL COVERING HYUNA'S SONG. I've posted so many times about this day holy shit its finally real. It really does suit him! Do you think AKUGETSU is

1) hinting that Till is joining the rebellion

or

2) giving us the All-In cover as compensation for whatever bad thing is going to happen to Till

(or a secret third thing: he literally just did it for fun and we've just gone insane.)

Ahh thank you so much for enjoying my stuff! I'm so happy, everyone's been really nice to me as of late and I don't know what to doooo hahaha I'm just really glad to share everyone's excitement for ALIEN STAGE :)

You wait for my updates??!! oh no I'm so sorry 😭 I'm quite late at times because I've had some stuff going on (I've barely said anything about the April Fools actor au 😭) but hopefully I'll be free to go absolutely nuts after the release of ROUND 6 tomorrow!! If you're ever in need of someone to scream about ROUND 6 with my inbox is always open!! Thank you for your kind words!!

Can't wait till I get to hear from you again! :)

[dymttz]

Ellie Alphabet (Evil Dead Rise) NSFW

A = Aftercare (how they look after sex) 

She would praise how well her pet behaved throughout the act and tell you that you deserve more rewards for it. 

B = Body part (the part of your body she likes the most) 

A barriga, ela adora deixar muitas marcas de mordidas e adora como você arqueia as costas enquanto ela faz isso. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She loves the taste of it, and it shows when you melt in her mouth. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, their dirty secret)

 She gets so hot when you beg her for more and call her mommy. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?)

 Oh come on! She is an ancient entity, she already knows practically everything about sex but anything different that you can teach her is welcome.

F = Favorite position (needless to say) 

She will make you sit on her face whenever possible, but she also likes to put you on all fours. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

She will definitely laugh at how pathetic you look begging for her touch so eagerly. 

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

I don't even know what to say about this question, except that it probably keeps everything organized in there. Not 100% sure so. 

I = Intimacy (how are they at the moment? the romantic aspect) 

She lives to praise you and call you good girl or good puppy, she loves to brag about how only she can make you go to heights. 

J = Jack off (headcanon masturbation) 

She doesn't need that, she always calls you when she needs to, but secretly when you can't go to the building she takes everything into her own hands, always thinking about how she's going to fuck you up later. 

K = Twist (one or more of your twists) 

She will definitely make you step out of line on purpose just to have a good reason to punish you with no mercy.

L = Location (favorite places to do) 

Oh dear, the location is the least of her worries when she's so excited to have you again and again. But it's probably one of the rooms in the apartment. 

M = Motivation (what excites them, keeps them going) 

Looked at her for more than ten seconds? So you better be naked and ready for her! Did you do something that she didn't like? So get ready for some wild fucking! She also gets turned on when you keep running your tongue over your own lips. - I have a good place for you to put that tongue of yours - 

N = No (something they wouldn't do, hang up) 

Despite being a cruel creature she will never force you to have sex with her, she likes to see that you are enjoying every moment but would never say that out loud. 

O = Oral (give or take preference, skill, etc.)

She loves to stick her tongue in you and make you cum in her face, but on some occasions she enjoys having you pleasure her. 

P = Rhythm (Are they fast and rough? slow and sultry? etc.)

 Fast and rough! She wants to hear your screams for her at all times!

Q = Quickie (your opinions on rapidies, how often, etc.) 

Just no! She likes to make the moment last, she likes to make you breathless for hours at a time. 

R = Risk (Do they play to experience? Do they take risks? etc.) 

Oh, she sure likes to take the risk that someone sees her fucking you, that makes it all the more exciting, but the poor probe who entered the room uninvited is going to lose his mind soon after. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they last? how long do they last?)

As long as you want, she can do this all night! 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themselves?) 

She was happy when you arrived in the building with some hot toys, she uses them on you whenever she punishes you the hardest. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

She will deny you the summit if you misbehave or don't do what she says. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

She's not always vocal, but when she is, you can hear her growls and commands that you don't stop working.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

She secretly misses you when you haven't been to the building for a long time, she gets almost crazy but will never say it out loud. 

Y = Desire (How high is sexual desire?)

The sky is the limit. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

She doesn't sleep so she'll watch you sleep until dawn, she'll be there when you wake up, but she's not very vocal in the morning so don't expect a "Good morning" from her.

(Sorry for possible mistakes, English is not my first language)

[terapsina]

Okay, it's been a while so here's an additional list of fantasy and sci-fi books with little to no romance in them that I've read recently and really loved.

---

First post with books not heavy on the romantic subplots HERE.

---

Once There Was ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Kiyash Monsef.

An Iranian American girl discovers that her recently dead father was a veterinary for magical animals and that she - like him - has inherited the ability to help these animals because of a family line reaching back for hundreds of generations.

The story deals with grief, rage, neglect and how it all intersects.

But it's also an incredibly magical story that wakes up all the wonder and love for animals that most children have and some never lose.

Interspersed through the book are also short fables and legends that Marjan's father used to tell her when she was young and are now gaining new meaning as she understands that they were more than stories.

(totally also recommend the audiobook version for those who enjoy good narration. Nikki Massoud does a freaking excellent job)

(Marjan does develop subtly budding feelings for someone in the story but it's kept very, very background. On a scale from 0 to 10 the romance reaches barely a 2).

---

Vespertine ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Margaret Rogerson.

A story about a girl named Artemisia who is training to become a Gray Sister. A nun who cleanses the bodies of the dead so that their souls would not return as ravenous spirits that would then threaten the lives of the living.

But then her convent gets attacked by possessed soldiers and she's forced to pick up a sword holding the spirit of a very powerful revenant - a malevolent spirit of mass destruction that could possess her and kill everyone around her indiscriminately - despite not having the training of a Vespertine. So the only one who can teach her what she needs to know is the Revenant itself.

(The main character is autistic, antisocial and extremely introverted. And as for the romance, there is someone who develops feelings for her and we as the reader kinda notice it, but Artemisia the character notices nothing (also, the someone in question is not the Revenant, just thought I should clarify that). Amounts of romance in the book, like 1/10)

---

A House With Good Bones ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by T. Kingfisher.

A Southern Gothic light horror with a bit of humor thrown in.

Sam Montgomery is worried about her mother so when her Paleoentomology dig falls through after she's already sublet her apartment for the next few months, she temporarily moves back in with her mother.

The mother who seems to be very stressed out while saying she's fine, and also seems to have acquired a sudden personality transplant. More specifically, she seems to have changed the house from the bright and colorful place it's been for decades, into the cookie cutter, bland (and slightly racist) fifties commercial kinda place it once was under the iron thumb of Sam's dead grandmother.

Is this some kind of weird delayed grief? Early onset alzheimers?

And why isn't there a single bug or insect in the entirety of the back yard's rose garden? Or why does she wake up to thousand's of ladybugs crawling all over each other - and Sam - one night in her childhood bedroom? And what's up with all these vultures staring at their house 24/7?

(Sam's POV is hilarious, her relationship with her mother one of the most genuinely emotional aspects of the book, and the story creepy enough to be exciting without reaching the point that would have made me throw the book down a hole for my own peace of mind. The romance... eh, there's a very nice dude Sam wouldn't mind going out with but it's not all that relevant to anything so amounts of romance don't reach past 2 out of 10).

---

And finally some special shout outs to some other recently read books that I also enjoyed and that don't really have a lot of focus on the romance but that I don't feel like getting into rn.

Thornhedge ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by T. Kingfisher, Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Heather Fawcett (okay this one's a bit heavier on the amount of romance but it gets points for not being annoying and still doesn't reach past 4 out of 10 in its amount, would recommend this book for people who enjoyed The Memoirs of Lady Trent), Translation Slate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐by Ann Leckie, The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Theodora Goss (the daughters of classical book scientists like Frankenstein, Dr. Jekill and Mr. Hyde, Moreau and others come together to solve some White Chapel murders and maybe uncover a society that has been doing human experiments on women. 0.5 out of 10 on amounts of romance).

[andreafmn]

I'm Not Afraid | Chapter 10

Word Count: 4.3K Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined. Chapter: 10/? A/N: cough cough sorry, dusting off this story after more than a year 😶 honestly, cannot believe it's taken me this long to update this story. So, if there are still any fans of it… Hey!!! I am so sorry for taking forever, but I will absolutely try to keep to my new writing schedule [if you wanna see it, it's on my Tumblr andreafmn]. Thank you to all the peeps that are reading. I hope you enjoy! My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! 

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Chapter 10

(Y/N) could not help the feeling that took over her. It was a giddy excitement that filled her as she rode back home. She couldn’t quite place it, only knowing what it could be from books she had read and movies she had seen.  

She liked him. She truly liked Derek Hale.  

Derek Hale.  

Derek Hale.  

Derek Hale.  

The name repeated inside her head like a grounding mantra. 

Derek Hale, the werewolf.  

Derek Hale, the alpha.  

Derek Hale, the most wanted man in her family.  

The girl wasn’t afraid of her feelings. Those she could guard, those she could shield from her world. Her emotions weren’t the ones she wanted to keep safe. She wanted to keep Derek safe — keep him safe. Her family had already caused him so much pain. Her own flesh had burned away his family like they were nothing more than insects. The same blood that rushed through her veins had been able to kill a group of innocent people leaving Derek on his own.   

That was what she wanted to protect him from. (Y/N) wanted him shielded from all the horror her family would continue to enforce. When she turned eighteen, she would be able to escape and find a way out of the circle that had forgotten the code of a hunter and had decided that supernatural lives were worthless.  

All they had to do was reach mid-December. Nine months, that’s all they needed. Nine months and they could dive head-first into whatever it was they were feeling. Whatever new adventure life wanted to throw their way.  

“Well, someone seems chipper now,” Isaac teased as (Y/N) balanced her motorcycle on its stand. “I take it things between Derek and you have been fixed?”   

“Something like that,” she chuckled. “We at least put some things on the table.”  

“What does that even mean?” 

Isaac followed her into the house, waiting for her answer. But she simply waltzed through the house, landing in the kitchen. She got a bottle of water and a slice of pizza out of the fridge, eating it without heating it up.  

“(Y/N), just tell me what you meant,” Isaac chuckled as he followed her to the living room. “If this is you being happy, I don’t like it.” 

“There’s not much to say, honestly,” she mumbled. “We just talked.” 

“Give me something here, (Y/N),” Isaac exasperated as he plopped down on the couch next to her. “Judging by the way you’re acting you two did more than just talk.” 

“Ew, Isaac,” (Y/N) gasped dramatically. “Need I remind you that I am a minor.” 

“He’s not that much older than us and you’re only 17 for a couple more months.” 

“9 months to be exact, but who’s counting?” The girl got up from the couch and headed back to the kitchen, dancing around all of her friend’s questions. “You know what this pizza needs? Ranch. It needs some ranch.”  

“(Y/N), why are you avoiding me?” 

“I’m not.”  

“You’ve been skating around the topic since you got here. I just wanna know what’s going on between the two of you.”  

“Truthfully, there’s nothing going on,” she shrugged. “There’s nothing that can go on just yet. Nothing for nine grueling months. Nothing more, nothing less.”  

“What happened a couple of hours ago wasn’t nothing, (Y/N),” he added. “There’s only a few years of difference between you. Are you really telling me you wouldn’t risk it?”  

“I could, Isaac, but not with him,” (Y/N) sighed. “I cannot give my family any ammunition against him. If they ever found out that we were together they would find a way to get the authorities involved and trap him afterward, even if he’s innocent. And that not only would put Derek in more danger, but it would set a target on you and everyone else. I simply cannot do that.”  

“We can protect ourselves, (Y/N).” He rounded the kitchen island, stopping once he was right next to her, and placed a comforting hand on her arm. “You deserve to be happy. I mean, Allison and Scott are making it work. Why can’t you?” 

“Are they making it work?” she questioned. “They sneak around all the time. They have to pretend they hate each other when they’re in school. They can’t admit they’re in love without putting the other in harm’s way. I don’t want that.”  

“So, instead you’re gonna pretend that you feel nothing for him? How is that the better option? In the long run, you’re only hurting yourselves.”  

“And what am I supposed to do, Isaac? What am I supposed to do if you guys get hurt because of a decision I made?  How could I live with myself if my family got their hands on you because of me?” (Y/N) spoke through gritted teeth, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. “I can’t do it. I refuse.”  

Isaac remained quiet for a beat, her words sinking into him as every second passed. He understood her need to protect them, the desperation to withhold her wants in order to keep everyone safe. “Is this about Josie?” he whispered, carefully choosing his next words. “Your job is not to protect everyone. At some point, you need to allow yourself to want things for yourself.”  

“I can’t. There are too many lives at risk right now and I won’t let anything happen to any of you if I can help it,” she responded sternly. “I don’t care if it takes a lifetime. If it means that you will all be safe, then I will stay away from him.” 

“You’re as stubborn as they come, (Y/N),” Isaac responded in defeat. He placed his hands on either side of her face, pressing his forehead to hers as he gifted her a smile. “But if you ever change your mind, just let me know. I’ve got your back, Argent.” 

“Thank you, Isaac. I’ve got your back too.” 

“You better,” he chuckled. “Now, let’s go to bed. We’ve got a couple of long days ahead of us.”  

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”  

*** 

School had been uneventful the next day, the only thing that could be felt was the anxious excitement of the students as talk of the secret rave kept spreading. Tickets were already scarce as it was and as more people knew of its existence the harder it would become to get them.  

Thankfully, talk of the rave was strong enough to quiet any whispers of what had transpired in the library. The fact that it had been completely destroyed by supernatural creatures the student body had no idea of had been hidden under the rumor that it had simply been a teenage fight. It was baffling and incomprehensible, yet everyone accepted the answer at face value. At the end of the day, it was simply school property and nothing more interesting.  

“Here you go,” Isaac said after math class was over, slipping (Y/N) a yellow and pink piece of paper. “One ticket for tomorrow night’s secret rave. Courtesy of one Derek Hale.”  

“Is that what you left so early this morning for? I thought they were already sold out!”  

“If there’s one thing I know about Derek it’s that he has connections. And that he’d stop at nothing to stop Jackson.”  

“You mean save,” (Y/N) corrected as she walked by his side to her locker. “We are going to save Jackson.”  

“Yeah, that.”  

“Seriously, Isaac. He’s being controlled by someone else and has no idea of what he’s doing,” she added. Her words were filled with compassion and worry, concerned for a boy that, though despicable, was innocent in the whole ordeal. “Jackson Whittemore might be a whole lot of things, but I know he’s not a killer.”  

“You sound like Scott,” Isaac chuckled. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard more people rally behind that guy since he’s become a sort of murderer.”  

“Everyone deserves a chance,” (Y/N) said. “If they didn’t, I would have cut you off the second you turned into a cocky ass.”  

“Hey, I’ve always been nice to you. It’s other people I don’t like.” 

“Who? Stiles and Scott?” she teased. “Is it because Derek doesn’t like them?” 

“Contrary to popular belief, I can think for myself,” he scoffed lightly. “I don’t like them because they haven’t given me any reason to like them. That could change at any point, but it seems unlikely.”  

“And have you ever even talked to them?”  

“Not exactly,” he shrugged into his seat. “But I don’t really care to talk about that. Tonight, we’re gonna go see Scott’s boss, the vet. Apparently, he can help us catch Jackson tomorrow night. Wanna come with?”  

“I suppose I could. There’s not much happening back home,” she sighed happily. “I think it’s cause my dad’s away.” 

“Well then, we’ll have fun,” he smiled. “Just you, me, Scott, and Derek. What a fun group of people.” 

“I get along fine with everyone,” she returned the smile. “It’s Derek and you that need to learn how to be able to deal with other people.”  

“A couple of weeks ago you couldn’t even say more than five words to them. Now, you’re the biggest team player?”  

“What can I say? I really flourish in a stable environment.”  

“Between kanimas, werewolves, and hunters,” he laughed. “What a stable environment.” 

“At least I’m not moving at the end of the year,” she grinned, slamming the locked door closed. “Now, let’s go eat before we meet the vet. I can’t think on an empty stomach.”  

As the day transitioned into night, Isaac and (Y/N) left her house for Derek’s. It was in moments like those that the Argent girl forgot what her world had turned into. She wasn’t just going over to her crush’s house to admire him from afar as she spent time with her friend. No. She was on her way to pick up an alpha to figure out how to stop a reptilian-shapeshifting teenager.  

(Y/N) had only ever wanted to have a normal life, and for most of it she thought her biggest obstacle was moving every year. In reality, it was the fact that her parents had been secretly training her to become a supernatural hunter. Everything she had been craving was farther from her reach than she could have ever thought.  

Still, she could only deal with one problem at a time. Stopping Jackson was the most pressing matter and that’s what her mind had to focus on. Especially when half of the people she surrounded herself with wanted the boy dead. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t, stand for that. 

She killed the engine of her motorcycle as Isaac hopped off the back. They were met with a scowling Derek, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. The sight alone had the girl biting back a laugh, finding the façade he wore when others were around to be the most hilarious acting he could do. She had already seen the side of him he so desperately hid from others, and she could not think of him otherwise. 

“Oh, come on, Derek,” Isaac grinned. “There’s no need for jealousy. (Y/N) and I are just friends.”  

“I’m not jealous. How could I be?” he devilishly smiled as he got into his car. “There’s no real competition.”   

“Cool it, boys,” (Y/N) interjected, settling into the passenger seat. “It’s not like there’s much to choose from. We are terribly lacking in the casting department here in Beacon Hills.”   

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Derek grumbled.  

“It means that I have to pick from a really small pool of options,” she said mischievously, a playful grin on her face. “You’re definitely number one. But you’re a close second, Isaac.”   

“Hear that, Derek?” Isaac laughed, peeking his head to the front. “You better play your cards right or I might have a chance.”  

Instead of responding, Derek slammed on the brakes, making Isaac’s seatbelt lock as his body lurched forward, knocking the air out of his lungs. Quietly, he sat back onto his seat, his eyebrows furrowing and his arms crossing across his chest like a child after a tantrum. But all (Y/N) could stare at was the cocky grin that was plastered on Derek’s face.  

“Alright, enough of this pissing competition,” (Y/N) laughed softly. “We have real business to tend to and I don’t wanna be late.”   

“You heard the lady, Derek. Step on it.”   

“Watch it, Isaac.”   

“Guys,” she called their attention, scolding them with her gaze. “Let’s just go.”   

The rest of the short car ride was quiet, filled with the soft hum of the radio and the air blowing out of the A/C. But there were stolen glances and smiles between the people in the front of the car. Their arms rested on the center console, their fingers itching to interlace as they stretched toward each other, neither really giving in.  

One second, they were leaving Derek’s loft, and the next, they were parked in front of the Beacon Hills Animal Clinic. Before they could reach the door, Scott was already unlocking it, his face contorted in confusion as he stared at (Y/N) and Isaac.  

“What’s he doing here?” Scott questioned. 

“I need him.”   

“I don’t trust him,” the boy added as he walked back inside.  

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t trust you either,” Isaac said cockily, his mask quickly slipping on.  

“You know what?” the older man said annoyed. “And Derek doesn’t really care.”  

“What about you, (Y/N)?” Scott asked, his tone softening. “Why are you here?”  

“Just along for the ride. But at the end of the day, I’m a good mediator for whatever tension is roaming here.”  

“That won’t be necessary,” Derek quickly said. “Now where’s the vet? Is he gonna help us or what?”   

“That depends,” the doctor answered, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “Your friend, Jackson. Are we planning to kill him or save him?”   

Derek answered, “Kill him,” at the same time Scott and (Y/N) responded, “Save him.”   

Both of the teens stared at the alpha, not shocked at his answer but a tad disappointed. Scott had been clear when he agreed to work together, things would be done his way and that meant doing everything possible to rescue Jackson. And if Derek had any doubts, there were none left once Scott reiterated twice that Jackson would be saved.  

Then, and only then, did Dr. Deaton allow the group back into the treatment room. They all stood behind the exam table, following the vet’s every move. He took hold of a tray with neatly arranged vials with symbols on the lids.  

With childlike curiosity, Isaac reached for the glass containers. Only to have Derek snatch his hand away. “Watch what you touch,” he said, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but agree. She had learned rather quickly that when it came to that secret world it was better to air of the side of caution.  

“So, what are you?” the blonde questioned, keeping his hands to himself but ignoring Derek’s reprimand. “Some kind of witch?”   

“No, I’m a veterinarian,” Deaton responded to him before he shifted the conversation to what they were there for. “Unfortunately, I don’t see anything here that’s going to be an effective defense against a paralytic toxin.”  

(Y/N) was intrigued by the man. Even if he claimed to be a mere human, she could tell there was something more to him. There was a powerful energy that emanated from him, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was or what it could mean.  

As the man questioned about the Kanima and the others answered, her mind was deadest of figuring out what the energy she was feeling meant. If he was truly just a human, she was afraid she was losing her mind.  

“Essentially, you’re trying to capture two people,” she heard him say as her brain focused back on the situation at hand. The doctor turned for a second and pulled out a medallion. “A puppet… and a puppeteer,” he explained as he placed the disk on the table. “One killed the husband while the other killed the wife. Do we know why?”   

“I don’t think Jackson could do it,” (Y/N) finally spoke. “His mother died pregnant too, and she was maybe murdered. I think he couldn’t let the same happen to someone else.”   

“How do you know it’s not part of the rules?” Isaac questioned. “The Kanima kills murderers. If Jackson kills the wide, then the baby dies too.”  

“Does that mean your father was a murderer?” Scott asked him.  

“Wouldn’t surprise me if he was.”  

Instinctively, (Y/N)’s hand flew to Isaac’s forearm and gave it a comforting squeeze. Even if the man was a horrible human being and had made the boy’s life a living hell, she knew how hard it still was for him to talk about the man.  

“Hold on,” Deaton pondered. “The book says they’re bonded, right? What if the fear of water isn’t coming from Jackson, but from the person controlling him? What if…?” he continued as he grabbed a vial of something (Y/N) recognized as mountain ash and drew a circle around the silver medallion. “Something that controls the Kanima also affects its master?”  

“Meaning what?”  

“Meaning we can catch them,” she smiled at the blond. “Both of them. If this theory is right, that means we could get Jackson and whoever is controlling him in the same place.”  

“In theory, it should work,” the doctor added. “But you should plan for all possibilities. Scott, you can come over tomorrow and pick up what supply I have of mountain ash. Hopefully, this plan works.”  

“I hope so too,” the boy added. “So, we’ll meet up tomorrow before the rave to make sure we’re all on the same page. Right, Derek?”   

“Right,” he grumbled. “We’ll see you tomorrow night then.”   

Once everyone had agreed to the plan, Deaton and Scott walked the trio to the door, wishing them a good night and safe travels home. But keeping up their macho bravado and feeding their air of dominance, Isaac and Derek made a beeline for the car rather than return the sentiment. It was childish and petty, but it forced a smile out of (Y/N).  

“I apologize for those two. It seems they have forgotten their manners,” (Y/N) said. “But thank you, Dr. Deaton, for all your help. And thank you, Scott, for everything you’re doing to make sure Jackson comes out of this alive. He may be a shitty guy, but he doesn’t deserve to die.” 

“Thanks, (Y/N),” Scott smiled, placing a reassuring hand on her arm. “And although I cannot say I understand why you’re even in the same presence as Derek Hale, I’m glad you’re there to keep him in line.”  

“Eh, he’s not that tough,” she chuckled. “Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow. And thank you again, Deaton.”  

“Please, call me Alan.” 

“Then, thank you, Alan.”  

“Get home safe, (Y/N),” Scott called out as she walked to the car.  

“You too, Scott,” she smiled. “We’ll get them tomorrow. Even if it takes everything out of us.”  

As soon as the girl had closed the door of the black Camaro, the car sped out of the parking lot. After such an influx of information and the slightest sliver of hope, silence befell them. The ride was silent, once again filled only with the soft sound of the radio and the blast from the A/C.  

There wasn’t anything more to be said. They either trapped both the kanima and his master, or they would die trying. And it was that sense of dread that kept them mute until they reached the loft where Isaac excused himself to grab a change of clothes.  

(Y/N) walked to Derek’s side, leaning against the car right beside him, enjoying the smoothness of his leather jacket against her. It took every ounce of self-control for them to not deepen the touch, to reach out to one another in seek of comfort.  

“What do you think will happen tomorrow?” (Y/N) asked, her voice barely above a whisper.  

“Honestly, I have no idea,” he sighed. “If it were up to me…” 

“If it were up to you Jackson would be dead,” she finished sternly. “An innocent life would be taken.” 

“Jackson is not innocent.”  

“Someone is literally calling the shots for him, Derek. He doesn’t even remember what he’s done,” she retorted. “He shouldn’t be faulted for something he is not doing on his own.”  

“I know,” he exasperated. “But he’s still done so many horrible things, even if he doesn’t know it. And he’ll continue to do them if he and whoever is controlling him isn’t stopped.” 

“Just please, Derek.” (Y/N) turned to face him, her eyes desperately searching into the darkness of his. Her hands rested on his crossed arms, the only way she found she could convey the level of her worry. "Promise me you won’t kill him. Do whatever it takes to stop him but kill him.”  

Derek could only sigh at her plea. He could see the desperation behind her eyes, the way they were looking for any sign of deception in his. But he knew he could not lie, at least not to her. “All I can promise is that he’ll remain alive as long as he stays away from you,” he said. “If he does anything to harm you, he is as good as dead.”  

“Derek…” 

“I’m serious, (Y/N). I’d be so much as digs a single claw into you, I will make sure I’m the one to rip his throat out.” 

“Even if we know his venom won’t do anything to me?” (Y/N) blurted. Derek’s eyes grew wide, thinking she would never find out about his transgression. But she had told him that Scott had revealed everything to her, that was just part of the story. “Yes, Scott told me you tested me and Lydia. And at some point, I was everyone’s favorite suspect. What would you do if it had been me? Would you not hesitate to kill me as well?”  

“I never doubted you,” he told her, softly cradling the side of her face. “It was never my intention to test you. You just so happened to shade that piece of candy with Lydia. I knew it could have never been you.” 

“How could you be so sure? You didn't know me, Derek. You still barely know me,” her voice croaked. “So, I'm asking you. If I had been the kanima, would you be advocating this hard to kill me?”  

“Absolutely not.”  

“Then, you shouldn't want to kill Jackson either.”  

“It's not even comparable to how I care for you,” he smiled. “But I promise you, and only you, that I will not kill him.”  

“That's all I can ask for,” she said, returning the warm smile. “And I'm glad to hear you wouldn't have killed me. I think death wishes would really tamper with our chances.”  

“I'm glad it wasn't you then,” he chuckled. “Although, I think we could have made it work. We just would have to make sure your scales were always hydrated.”  

“A kanima and a werewolf,” she laughed. “What a match it would have been.”  

As they laughed in unison, their gazes met under the light of the moon. His green eyes shone brightly as they studied every inch of her face, every so often falling to her lips. He noted the pinkness of the skin and the plumpness. He saw how they trembled slightly whenever his eyes landed on them. He spotted how they parted to allow a deep breath to slip through. 

Oh, how he wanted to taste them. To crash his lips onto hers and savor every second of connection. All it would take was a single move. In less than a second, he could answer every question he had about her mouth.  

So, he slowly leaned in.  

And she did too.  

They were millimeters away from breaking their resolve and throwing caution to the wind. A gust of air and their nine-month pact would be broken. At least, they would have given in to the feeling they most craved for.  

“Welp, ready to go!” Isaac's voice startled them apart. His head was focused on his bag, making sure he had everything he needed, and had no idea he had ruined a moment for the pair. “You think we could stop for some food on the way back? I'm starving again.”  

The duo could only stare at the tall blond, their faces growing red in embarrassment. “What?” Isaac muttered. “Is it too late for food?”  

"It's fine, Isaac,” (Y/N) chuckled at his obliviousness. “We'll get something on the way back. Go start the bike. Let it warm up.” 

“Alright,” he said, easily catching the keys she threw him. “I'll let you two lovebirds say goodbye.” 

Once he was out of sight, the pair laughed quietly. They had once again been interrupted by one of Derek's teenage strays. And once more they had been that close to giving in to their urges.  

“It seems like the universe wants us to wait,” she grinned. “For the record, I really want to kiss you.” 

“For the record,” he whispered into her ear. “I really want to kiss you too.”  

“I mean, there’s nothing really stopping us right now,” she said, biting her lower lip. “We could just... do it.”  

“Not with Isaac right there,” he reminded her. “He might not hear us well, but he can definitely see us. And, not gonna lie, I don’t really wanna kiss you with an audience.”  

“Neither do I,” she chuckled. “A year, huh?”  

“Nine months,” he smiled. “But who’s counting?”  

Next ->

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[dustteller]

I just finished watching all the available episodes of The Apothecary Diaries, and I have to say that it surprised me!

The premise of an apothecary working for the emperor's consorts and solving medical mysteries is already a gun one, but the execution really elevated the concept past entertaining romcom to genuinely fantastic storytelling. It's not revolutionary, but it's certainly deeply endearing, and I really enjoyed how it found a balance between lighthearted comedy and acknowledging the awful aspects of sex work and being a woman/lower class in a world where neither are valued. It doesn't explore the darker side in detail, at least not so far, but it still does a fantastic job in making the horrible parts feel like a real part of the setting while still making the choice to focus on the women's joy even when faced with hard situations. I guess I just appreciate these things being openly discussed without immediately having it be a psychological story about dealing with trauma?

The characters are also soo good, and while most lack depth (its been nine episodes, so for a cast this big, that can be excused), usually their schtick is strong enough that it can easily carry their appearances. You also get the sense that while a lot of these characters do fill out comedic roles/archetypes, there's a lot more going on beneath the surface. Their schtick is fun, but its not all they have, its just there to help the audience familiarize themselves and bond with the charcaters while their entire personality is unearthed. The entire cast is genuinely absolutely delightful and reasonable and feel incredibly real while also being really funny.

The romance portion is also really really fantastic. Both Maomao and Jinshi are hilarious little freaks, and their dynamic is so fun to watch. Maomao is such a good take on the cold, blunt, genius character, who is socially challenged but very far from frigid. She's practical and logical while also keeping a very strong emotional core founded in empathy and genuine care for the people around her. Her obsession with poison is also pulling triple duty, as it 1) serves to break her cold facade and provides comic relief in the form of an ongoing gag, 2) gives the reader a strong understanding of her guiding motives/desires, and 3)gives her role as a medical investigator narrative justification. Of course she'd know what was used to poison someone, that's her whole thing! Jinshi himself is a counterpart to Maomao's colder tendencies, being very clingy and emotional. This show is not afraid of making him a pathetic little obsessed man, and it's all the better for him. Unlike other possesive and obsessed male leads, Jinshi manages to mostly stay away from the creep factor by being so uttely pathetic and cringe that he never really comes across as an actual threat. Couple that with him actually being very respectful of Maomao, only engaging in light flirting, and how he never actually wants to change her (most rapey MLs try to break the FL out of their feisty charcater or demean her for it while showing her how they're more powerful), and Jinshi makes for a very good love interest that also feels like a very safe comfortable person, which I feel matches the tone of the show very well. He's also as much of a freak as Maomao ("she wants to crush me like a bug <3333🥰🥰🥰), so they're very well matched there, too. He's such a petty loser, and that makes him a stronger character.

The story seems to be ramping up, and while I don't think it'll ever lose the lighthearted tone, I'm excited about how it already seems to promise a more in-depth exploration of the world it's set up the scaffolding for. For what it's worth, I also think the show has done a very good job at making the world feel expansive and mysterious, while also balancing that wholesomeness, which for a show centered around sex workers is quite the feat.

Anyways, long story short, I think the nine episodes that are out so far are really great, and the story thrives through how utterly endering it is. I am charmed by the world and the characters and what the plot has promised us, and while I don't expect it to revolutionize anime or whatever, it's still a masterclass in narrative shorthand and the act of balancing its heavy themes, especially when it comes to the characters themselves. There's so many of them that are so fun and memorable that I didn't mention, but who absolutely deserve their own posts, and that's only nine episoded into a comedy show, which I think goes to show how strong of a start this series has. Overall, I'd rate the show so far an 8/10, and I'm really excited to see what will come from the next 15 episodes.